#then they’re like ‘actually this sucks and it’s not funny at all. we should probably just repress it instead 👍’

[roseworth]

kyle & rose dynamic during new titans is him thinking of her as his emo cousin and her thinking of him as like an interim big brother. also after she leaves the team he rarely hears about her, so he knows that she was lians nanny (bc he was friends with roy around that time. it might’ve come up) but doesn’t know anything after that since he did not spend a lot of time on earth, and in the time he did spend on earth rose wasn’t rly someone he thought about a lot.

all this to say years later he meets her again and says “oh hey rose long time no see. cool eyepatch, do you have pinkeye or something”

[beesspacedotorg]

Handle With Care

Summary: You've had a truly awful day, luckily, your adoring boyfriend Minho is there to make it better. 2.5k words

Warnings: there's sex, but honestly it feels like someone accidentally got porn in my fluff so do with that what you will. reader is as gender neutral as physically possible. reader is also lowkey a crybaby, sorry but actually I'm not

Notes: Hello adoring public. It turns out, I can write fanfiction, and with the encouragement of Juno and Ems, I can also post it! There is a cat in this, she was inspired by a cat my family used to have and a cat my family currently has. They're both calico which I think explains everything you need to know about them.

There’s a lot you can say about the day you had today, and most of them start with sh- and end in -itty. You’re thinking on this as you dive head first onto the rough material of your couch, great for sitting, bad for face planting. You hear a scratching by your head and absentmindedly bat your cat away from the arm of the couch, mumbling something about how she has a perfectly good cat tree two feet away before resuming your completely justified sulking.

“Oh, hello. I didn’t hear you come home. How was your day?” There’s a voice above you and you can picture him in your mind's eye, leaning against the back of the couch as he stares at your limp form, probably eyeing the shoes you didn’t take off by the door. You mumble something half hearted in response and he huffs before the sound of walking hits your ears and all the breath leaves your body at once. He’s sitting on you. This motherfucker is sitting on you.

“Get off, Minho” You had to tilt your head to the side, it’s hard enough to breathe through couch fabric as is, much less when there’s a full grown man sitting on your back.

“You should answer people when they try to talk to you, jagiya.”

“You shouldn’t sit on people while they’re laying down, yeobo.” Your voice is a lot more acidic than his was and a twinge of guilt settles on you before it dissipates as he shifts and manages to place more weight on your back.

“Hmm. I guess we’re both doing things that we shouldn’t then. How tragic.” His voice is deadpan, and you still can’t see him from where your head is turned- your view is limited to the back of the couch and his arm in your periphery- but you can feel the dead stare he’s aiming at your skull. There’s a silence for a few moments while you engage in a war of attrition, neither of you willing to give up just yet, but it’s getting genuinely hard to breathe and your back is starting to hurt.

“It sucked, please get off.” He does, patting your back consolingly.

“See? Was that so hard?” He guides your head to his lap as you both sit back down, petting over your hair like he would his cats. “Tell me, what’s got my baby in such a tizzy?”

You grumble at him, rolling over to shove your face into his stomach, tired and petulant. He sighs softly, but keeps patting your head, so you know he’s mostly just doing it for show.

“That kind of day, hmm, jagi?” And you nod again. Honestly, it wasn’t much different from a normal day, it’s just that the right things managed to go very wrong and subsequently ruined your day in a way that has pressure forming behind your eyes and your voice cracking stupidly every time you try to talk.

You both sit for a while before he puts something on the TV and gently shoves your head off his lap.

“Hey-”

“Do you want the dinner I worked so hard on to go cold?” He has his hands on his hips in front of you and you laugh slightly at how funny he looks. He rolls his eyes and goes, coming back with two bowls of something before he forcefully sits you up and shoves it in your hands.

“Eat.”

“Yes, chef.”

The food is delicious, it always is when Minho cooks it, he’s got a talent for it you’ve never really seen firsthand, and you consider yourself truly blessed to be able to eat it as often as he’s able to make it for you. Still, gratefulness and taste aside, your day was shitty enough that every mouthful tastes like ash and turns to rot in your stomach, leaving you with an unsettling queasiness that shouldn’t ever be attributed to your boyfriend’s cooking. You’re shoving the contents around with a spoon before he huffs- a real one this time- and takes the bowl from you, setting it on the coffee table next to his own before he mutes the TV.

“Okay. Quite clearly something is wrong. What can I do to help you?” You think he knows, but you like that he asks anyway. Minho always asks, always lets you talk and sort out whatever’s going on before he tries to help. Even if your answer is a simple shake of the head, a simple, I don’t feel like it, become a mind reader, he always asks before he helps. Sometimes you wonder how he always knows what you need, others you just decide to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

You huff and your lip wobbles pathetically and he coos, slightly condescending.

“Crying already? I haven’t even done anything.” He’s teasing, but his hands are gentle as he pulls you into his lap, his hands are gentle as they find their way under your shirt, his mouth is gentle as it kisses down the side of your face to your neck.

“‘M sorry,” you’re not the biggest fan of crying, neither is he, but for different reasons. He’s not someone who’s brought to tears easily, you are, but there’s an inherent shame in it, you think. Something so embarrassing about getting worked up enough to start crying like a baby, and so as much and as often as you feel like crying, you don’t. This he also knows, because he knows everything.

“Aish, why are you sorry for? I didn’t tell you to apologize, did I?” He taps your cheek lightly, causing you to look up at him, he plants a kiss on your nose, then your mouth.

“Sweet thing, don’t worry about anything except for what I tell you to, okay?” And you nod and he smiles.

You’re not much for talking in times like these, everything is so sensitive and soft and talking feels like a cheese grater on this cloudlike moment so you don’t and he knows, so he doesn’t chide you for it. Usually, he would. He’d crack a hand down on your ass or grab a fistful of your hair and tell you that he asked you a question so he expects an answer, but that’s not what you need right now, so he doesn’t. He just kisses your jaw again before he puts both of his warm hands under your shirt and lets his fingers poke at your chest.

He always says his hands are small, but really, you wouldn’t be able to tell, not with the way he cups your chest in his hand and lets his thumb brush over your nipple, gentle and reverent. It’s not much, not as much as he usually gives you, but it’s enough to have your mouth dropping open with a gasp and your back arching into his hand, it’s enough to have him giggling softly at your reaction.

“Sensitive today?” He’s teasing again, as soft as he is right now, he’s still Minho, he still likes to poke fun. You huff, biting at his shoulder softly in retaliation and he lets you, pinching your nipple just this side of too much in retribution before one of his hands wanders down to your ass, groping and squishing the flesh. Your breath stutters in your chest as he pushes your hips forward onto his, friction sending sparks up your spine.

“Min-” You’re desperate and he hasn’t even done anything yet, not really. A few stray touches and you already feel yourself shattering to pieces in his grasp, you’re not afraid though, and not quite ashamed. He’ll take care of you, he always does.

He does it again, guides your hips forward until you’ve gotten the hint to keep going by yourself and you’re struck with the urge to kiss him, so you do, removing your head from the home it’s made on his shoulder and making a go at his mouth. It’s messy, your coordination shot already, and you almost smash your forehead into his nose before he catches your head with a laugh.

“Easy there. Bloody noses aren’t exactly sexy.” You disagree, he could make anything sexy, but you don’t have time to voice that thought as he pushes his mouth onto yours and lovingly shoves his tongue down your throat. The kiss is messy, they always are. However gentle he is, he can never seem to stop himself from kissing you until your face is covered in drool and spit, and if it were anyone else, you’d be mildly repulsed, but you like the way he looks at your mouth after it’s over, so you let it slide. 

You pull away, chest burning and heaving and look at him before you still, eyes drawn to something by his head.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” You don’t answer, gaze still drawn away from him.

“There’s a little white girl staring at me.” He turns his head to the side and laughs as he comes face to face with your cat, her green eyes boring into him. He scratches her head affectionately and lets her headbutt him before your center of gravity is shifting drastically and you’re clinging onto him for dear life.

The bedroom door shuts before you’re very aware of it and suddenly there’s a mattress under your back and a Minho over your front and his hands are up your shirt again, this time shoving it off of you until your chest is bare. You shiver slightly from the cold and then there’s a blanket being shoved around your shoulders and you smile up at him. He knows you so well, he loves you so much and your eyes are welling with tears.

“Aigoo, my little crybaby. It’s just a blanket,” there’s a kiss on each of your cheek bones, “silly thing. Save your tears for when my cock is in you, hmm?” Your breath stutters again and your hands are tugging at his shirt until he takes it off, he laughs again when your hands immediately find his chest.

“I’m glad someone appreciates my hard work.”

“They’re nice boobs.” The sentence catches him off guard, makes him laugh hard enough that he loses his balance a little and his weight settles onto you more. It’s comforting, like a weighted blanket that can talk and walk and kiss you silly.

Then, his hands are under your bottoms, tugging them off your legs and you’re suddenly wearing nothing and he’s still in his pants, which you find disgustingly unfair. You reach down and tug on the hem off his sweats, pouting and huffing until he gets the message and tugs those off too.

“You just want to get me naked,” he starts. “I can’t believe you just want me for my body.” You nod cheekily in response and he smacks your shoulder.

“Yah! See if I’m ever nice to you again!” But he’s kissing your neck again as his hands guide your legs to cross over his hips before he’s touching you in a way that steals the breath from your lungs and makes your head tip back into the pillows.

“There we go. So pretty when you’re like this, hmm? So soft and sweet for me.” His fingers are in you now, pressing insistently against that spot that makes white splash in your vision and reflexively forces your legs shut. He grunts slightly as your thighs squeeze around his hips, pressure just this side of uncomfortable. He doesn’t say anything though, just keeps his pace steady inside you until you’re almost tipping over and he stops. You look at him with something akin to betrayal, fresh tears springing to your eyes, but before you can open your mouth to complain he’s sliding home and you don’t have enough air to say anything anyway.

He catches it though, rolls his eyes as he sees the way your attitude was about to flare up.

“What did I tell you earlier, jagiya? Don’t worry about anything unless I tell you to worry about it. I always take care of you, don’t I?” He does, he’s good to you like that. He sounds slightly out of breath already, unusual for him, but you don’t mind because it feels like you’re seconds away from God’s doorstep yourself.

His pace is slow and deep, bass knock steady even as you squirm under him. If this were a normal situation, he’d stop, hands gripping your hips unforgivingly until you stayed still, but this isn’t a normal situation so he lets you wiggle, only huffing in mild irritation before he leans down to kiss you again.

“You’re gonna knock us off the damn bed, baby.” But he doesn’t make any move to stop you, and you feel too good to really process his words anyway. You love him, you really do, and you’re struck with the overwhelming urge to tell him, to let him know, to make him know. You grip his shoulders tightly, nails digging in until he hisses and levels you with a glare, one that instantly softens when he meets your eyes.

“I love you,” it comes out of you as a sob, like it was wrenched from your vocal chords before you gave yourself permission to think it. “I love you so much.” You’re rambling now, repeating those three words over and over and Minho coos, hips faltering just slightly. He always goes weak when you tell him you love him, and you keep it in your back pocket like a weapon for the times that you’re in trouble.

“I love you, too, jagiya. ‘S that why you’re crying? Hmm? Love me so much it’s gotta spill out from your pretty eyes?” You nod in response, breath hitching from the pleasure and the tears and his hand drifts from its place on your hip to touch you again and you’re spilling liquid heat before you can really register what’s happening. You feel him inside you, too, insides suddenly molten warm but you’re floating too high for it to feel like it’s happening to you, like you’ve been temporarily ejected from your body.

When your soul settles back into your bones, Minho is laying next to you, staring at you with his wide eyes, you look over at him and smile.

“Is boba really worth it?” He looks confused at your question before you poke him on the eyelid and he laughs.

“Feel better?” You consider for a moment. Your teeth don’t feel like they’re too big for their sockets and your bones no longer feel itchy. You’re hungry, but mostly, your mind is quiet. There’s no overwhelming pressure behind your eyes and when you talk your voice cracks from sleep instead of from the force of choking back tears.

“Much. I’m hungry, though.” You give your best impression of puppy eyes at him and watch as his eyes roll to the back of his skull. You’ve been told that your pleading face looks mildly perturbing, but Minho always says you remind him of Soonie when you do it. It makes you feel slightly bad for Soonie, soon the cat isn’t going to be able to get anything off of Minho because you’ll have rendered him immune.

He comes back with your reheated bowl in one hand and your cat in the other.

“She screamed at me until I picked her up. Stood on my feet and hollered.” He winces slightly. “I should’ve put on boxers because she almost mistook my dick for a toy.”

[razorblade180]

Names

Furina:Aether, we need to have a very important conversation. Promise you’ll take this seriously.

Aether:….I know we’re both over 500 but I’m not in the mindset of a family besides finding my sister.

Furina:Not the conversation I wanted in the slightest! I just gained my freedom in case you forgot. I just wanted to discuss cute little names for one another.

Aether:*scrunches face*

Furina:What!? Why that face!?

Aether:Never really was a fun of that sort of thing.

Furina:Said the man who accepts titles like they’re going on sale.

Aether:You know…

Furina:I’m not calling you “Executioner”

Aether:Then what’s the point of any of this!? It’s so cool.

Furina:I told you to be serious!

Aether:May I ask what brought this on?

Furina:*red* I just…think they’re neat. It’s only natural that people who are close to one another to give names that show the affection.

Aether:….

Furina:Is this you silently judging me?

Aether:No I’m just fighting tooth decay. Your answer was unexpectedly sweet. Still, I’m not really good at these sort of things.

Furina:That’s because you’re an overthinking. Surely you’ve known me long enough to have something to describe my magnificence.

Aether:Furina if I’m being honest, if I had to compare you to anything it would either be those floppy ear bunnies that get angry sometimes, or an emotional kitten.

Furina:Please never say that second one again.

Aether:What’s wrong with kit- okay I see. Told you I suck at this! Why don’t you just go force and tell me what you have in mind.

Furina:…

Aether:You haven’t the slightest idea.

Furina:I thought maybe we could workshop or something!? Cut me some slack. I typically shorten names but yours feels weird. Plus that would be boring.

Aether:We’ll what do you typically want to call me?

Furina: What, besides “mine?”

Aether:….

Aether:You’re going to make kitten stick if you keep talking like that.

Furina:*red* Nooooo! Focus Aether! We don’t have to commit to anything right now. Just spitball.

Aether:Despite the fact you constantly smell like a pastry mixed with rose water, I’m not about to call you a long winded dessert or something as dull as cupcake.

Furina:First of all, my shampoo is daisies and not rose water. Second, I appreciate you noticed I smell nice. Third, cupcake is wonderful but taken by Clorinde.

Aether:Who calls her cupcake?

Furina:I’ve…said to much. Dismiss that from your memory.

Aether:…Tweetie. I like your singing. You’re like a free songbird.

Furina:That’s not a bad attempt.

Aether:It’s funny how nicely you said that while obviously rejecting that.

Furina:*smiles* I am a woman of many talents. We should probably call it here. No need to force these things. I only wanted to bring attention to it. Rest assured that I will put the utmost care in whatever my heart chooses.

Aether:Seriously, it could just be my name.

Furina:Awww, is someone embarrassed about this sorta thing? You are surprisingly introverted despite all of your achievements.

Aether:You’re one to talk.

Furina:Hehe, true enough. *hugs him* I suppose “Aether” is as glorious as any other name. I’ll admit that I personally enjoy how it sounds.

Aether:*flustered* I swear, where do you get your energy?

[Sometime later]

Navia:Have anything planned after this?

Furina:Not really. I should probably run through some lines after this tea party but I don’t actually feel up to it. Maybe a nap or-

Aether:*walks by*

Navia:Oh! Hi Aether!

Aether:*turns head* Hmm? Oh hi Navia. *looks at Furina*…..

Furina:??? What’s with the silent gaze? Is there something on my face?

Aether:*red* N-No. I was surprised to see you is all, Sugar Cube.

If a ghost were to sneeze right now, everyone would hear it. Navia’s eyes widened as she let out the smallest of gasps and saw Furina’s mind come to a screeching halt while her face became every color of red. The actress slowly put down her tea, stood up, and dragged Aether by the hand around the corner.

Furina:I’ll be right back Navia.

Navia:(Where is Clorinde and Charlotte when I need them!? I have to talk about this with someone!)

Aether:W-Was that bad?

Furina:*grabs scarf* No no no. It was simple, realistic even. Not to mention cute. However… you were absolutely right about the embarrassment. I don’t think my soul can handle that! Just call me Furina.

Aether:I wanted to do that from the start! I said that in front of people!

Furina:I’m sorry!! I thought I was strong about this but I was horribly wrong!!!!

[dathen]

Hmmmm I have a lot of Thoughts on Catherine Moreland as an autistic character.

It’s clear right from the start that her special interest is gothic novels and she hyperfixates on them: she’s practically in pain that she can’t talk about them in regular conversation or that those she can talk to don’t care as much as she does. The earliest contrast between John Thorpe and Henry Tilney is that the former ridicules her for her interest and the latter celebrates it and even playfully competes for obsession level. She GLOWS when this happens and we actually get to see her socialize outside of anxiety and self-doubt. She has dozens of deeply relatable “just like blorbos from my novels…” moments.

Most of all though is her social interactions. Her completely missing instances of flirting alternates between relatably funny and sad. Early on she’s constantly confused by the Thorpes’ blatant insincerity, partly because of trying to extend good faith, but largely because she interprets it so literally. I loved the scene where John Thorpe is going off about how the other carriage sucks so much compared to his, it will probably fall apart any minute, and she panics about the others getting hurt and tries to get him to turn around to help them. It’s a brand of naivety that is less childish than it is “unscarred neurodivergent person who isn’t used to people constantly saying shit they don’t mean and expecting you to figure it out.” It’s sad when she slowly learns to distrust the literal because of how many times they’ve abused her goodwill.

She also gets what feels like RSD whenever she steps out of line; it’s the end of the world if she praises something that someone else puts down, or if she disappoints someone, and smothers herself in shame for what others would do without a thought.

At the same time, I’m reminded of like Dungeon Messi’s compassion for an autistic protag in that realm, both for the struggles and values of it. Her bluntness, sincerity, and goodwill is what breaks through Henry’s cynicism and makes him fall in love with her. She never learned to play the insincere game that even her family friends like Mrs. Allen are caught up in, and that earns her a trust that is worth being cut off by his father for.

These lines sum it up so well:

“Prepare for your sister-in-law, Eleanor, and such a sister-in-law as you must delight in! Open, candid, artless, guileless, with affections strong and simple, forming no pretensions, and knowing no disguise.”

“Such a sister-in-law, Henry, I should delight in,” said Eleanor.

BOTH Tilney children love her deeply because she’s everything they’re deprived of in their oppressive home life. They value all of these traits that make it hard for her to socially navigate her world. And even as she gets more world-wary and experienced herself, that never changes. (And this practical-proposal goes completely over her head as being about her ghskfjkdjf bless)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 7

chapter 12:

1. LILY EVANS MENTION!!!!!

2. god i’m so worried about what’s gonna happen to wolfstar when the games are over. they deserve a lifetime together

3. the snake, jesus christ. i’d flip off the game makers too

4. crimson rivers and just lovers peter >>>>>>>

5. god, peter is so sensible and reasonable and i love him so much

6. 😧 the avery spider. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

7. james, darling, love, stop telling all the people you like the location of the cave. you cannot save everyone. their death will be inevitable. you’re going to hurt your soul like this

8. “Frankly, Regulus looks like he's been through Hell. He's absolutely gorgeous.” jesus christ. and with a knife pressed to his throat. he is NOT toning down his horny rn

9. “"You're hesitating, love."” FUCK YEAH THE FAMOUS LINE

10. 😧😳😳 not the bondage joke james makes at reg. holy shit- no chill

11. james had a knife to his throat twice in this chapter. he is living the high life

chapter 13:

1. “James has always been that infuriating mixture of wonderful and stupid, for as long as Regulus can remember.” yes, that is how i’d describe him

2. 😐 my dear james, what the fuck. why are you nervously beatboxing

3. oh god, they’re gonna have to kill the deer to eat. james is NOT gonna like this

4. regulus does NOT give a fuck about the deer. he only doesn’t kill them cause he’s softhearted for james

5. “He tilts his head up to the sky, like he's looking directly at Sirius with an expression that clearly states: are you seeing this shit?” LMAO

6. (james describing his feelings for sirius) “Well, for one thing, what we have is special and goes beyond the bounds of romance, reaching unfathomable lengths that no one can understand but us, so jot that down,"” LMAO but also yes. absolutely right

7. 😧😧 jaw open. shocked. sobbing. reg agrees that in a different lifetime, him and james would probably be dating

8. 😭😭😭 james getting excited about if in a different life he married reg because that would make him sirius’ brother in law

9. “"Your ability to find things to be happy about, even in the middle of literal life or death fucking astounds me."” so true. but also. like. i understand james. me and james have got this connection. i understand him.

10. 😏 they’re gonna share a blankie

11. HANDCUFFS?????

12. "”Mum, Dad, look away, I'm having impure thoughts," James announces, gasping theatrically as he presses the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh, the shame."” LMAO HES SO FUNNY

13. god, i miss james’ glasses too, reg

14. i’ve always wondered if the capital/hallow would show if tributes had sex in the arena. like, would they show it? like morally, they let people kill one another, so would they have anything morally against showing two people having sex in the arena??

15. god, they’re gonna be so mentally fucked up when they leave this arena

16. “Dorcas vividly remembers being very sure that the 'McKinnon girl' was about to die, only to be stunned when that 'McKinnon girl' shoved someone twice her size right into the fire and warmed herself up while they burned.” 😧 no wonder the past haunts marlene so bad. jesus fucking christ

17. god i love dorcas. she has no excuses for the other hallows. she’s like, i grew up and realized it was wrong. that’s all it took. the rest of them should have grown up as well

18. 😳😳 dorcas says she likes it rough

19. 😳 oh shit wait i think they’re actually gonna fuck

20. DORLENE <333333333333333

21. oh damn. the secret codes and sharing of messages to relay info. like gid and fab’s death

22. god, not dorcas lying about gid and fab’s death. i understand 100% but jesus. it sucks

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

ok this time there ARE barbie spoilers but it’s just the things i didn’t like so feel free to ignore this if you had fun and don’t want me ruining anything! like seriously, i do not want to make anyone upset here because of how positive the fandom vibes are. i just wanna y’know, air out some dirty laundry i have with what i just witnessed

as a disclaimer i’ve only seen it once and it ended like 40 minutes ago LMAO forgive me for any name mistakes i suck with those

- ken never got closure and i get what they were going for, just having a bunch of guys repeat “ken is me” over and over isn’t cutting it. felt this way with the “hi barbie” intro. like yes, i get what it aims to accomplish, but god does it get grating

- SOME of the fourth wall breaks were good. most were not. weird barbie and all the discontinued barbies were funny, and the drinking water gag was great. but the narrator stuff was WAY too prevalent and i get that it’s camp, but it was a tad too much at times. i’m torn on the margot line because it wasn’t necessarily bad, i just think it ruined the moment a little

- SO MANY UNFINISHED PLOTLINES OH MY GOD. you’re telling me the travel montage was all it took for gloria and sasha to bond and fix their issues? we saw their conflict through barbie’s memory link, it was never elaborated on. not once. suddenly by the end they’re getting along. the same could be about weird barbie? she always embraced the weirdness so the apology and “un-outcasting” felt off because a) it seemed like she was secluded by her own will and b) the barbies were never necessarily mean to her, they just acknowledged she’s different? which she knew and was okay with and self aware of? idk i guess an apology is fair, but the way it was delivered implied a deeper conflict we never saw

- mattel boardroom. enough said. i get will ferrell probably has a contracted screentime for funny gimmicks but it was so grating and a waste of time

- in a similar vein, all the travel montages combined probably take up as much time as the real-world scenes. for a movie that advertised barbie in the real world at a seeming first glance, that basically never happened LOL maybe that’s on me for having expectations though

- listen, LISTEN. i know there’s a lot of conflict right now with the “boo forced feminism” propaganda spreading around and i swear on god that isn’t me. HOWEVER. i do think that the way they went about resetting free will and that super long montage from gloria was not handled as well as it should have been. do i agree with everything said in the speech she gave? abso fuckin lutely. but remember, SHOW not TELL. they created this brainwashing plot device only to immediately dismantle it with one #girlboss speech which imo, undermines the very point the monologue was trying to make. i just wish they did more actual empowerment and not cheap exposition via a shenanigans montage and a third party speaker reciting a well constructed feminist rant which was just… INSERTED into a feel-good scene. i was hoping for something more organic but that’s just me. like, the barbie feeling self conscious was on the nose, but it did its thing. it’s camp i expected that. by this point in the film however, i expected more

- last thing for now: the plot was just a mess i’m sorry. the beginning was slow and expositional sure i get it, maybe it dragged a little too long when you consider everything else they tried to shove into the runtime, but for a typical film that would be a decent portion of establishing a plot. the real world segment? god, so many open doors, most of them were ignored. 99% of the real world was gimmicks and throwaway lines. the bench scene was the shining gem in that pacing dumpster. mattel plot we already know i don’t like, minus the ruth part. i have a lot of thoughts on ken patriarchy that i don’t have time or effort to unpack right now, but it was funny. and then it went on way too long and became annoying but not in the good way, in the “i get this is camp but it feels stupid” way. gosling killed that musical number but for a film about barbie, that was a hella long ken segment. like, this was a ken movie with barbie having existential dread in the background. then a bunch of magical fixits happen and suddenly all conflicts are resolved through magical means and cheap jokes and imaginary character development!!! oh but they gave barbie a pussy we unironically stan that for her (i’m serious lol like i think the joke was such a lame way to end the film but it’s funny enough to say that this whole film all barbie wanted was gender affirming surgery. i’ll allow it for sheer comedic purposes)

TLDR: i have many many complaints but i don’t think the movie is bad. it’s just fun, not particularly good all around. IT HAS GOOD MOMENTS!!! I AM NOT DENYING THERE IS SOME QUALITY HERE! i just think its hit or miss and while not every film has to be a feminist manifesto, i think all the hype and expectations definitely oversold the actual film i just witnessed because it was not particularly good. but it’s fun! and it’s okay to just enjoy that, this is my initial impression but maybe i’ll grow to like it more. just wanted to put this out here in case someone else feels the same way and doesn’t want to take the fall for finding it mid

[zehecatl]

happy steam sale to all, here’s a 'little’ rec list for (primarily) indie games that, in my opinion, isn’t as popular as they deserve to be!

Ghostwire: Tokyo -60% the only triple a game you’ll see on this list, and my own all time personal favourite. if you like anime, japanese history and folklore, and bromance, you will very likely love this game. it also lets you explore Tokyo and pet the dogs! and cats! literally perfect game!!

Iconoclasts -70% i have been shilling this game, at every major steam sale, for pretty much four-five years. before Ghostwire, it was my all time favourite video game. it was in development, by one person, for around eight years. it is still, in my opinion, one of the most gorgeous pieces of pixel art in the whole damn medium. just. please check it out i beg

Angels of Death -40% rpgmaker game that absolutely excels at being a character driven story. it also got an anime adaptation? which i’ve actually never seen?? but if you grew up playing horror rpgmaker games, please do yourself a favour, and check this out. and if you didn’t- check it out anyway! it’s not super scary or anything, with a more psychological horror focus

Owlboy -65% tiny owl boy does his very best and will worm his way into your heart and then crush it because life is maybe a bit too cruel to him. also you can fly! did i mention you can fly??

Pony Island + The Hex -80% did you adore Inscryption? did you like the meta element? then oh boy, should you check out Daniel Mullins’ two former games! they’re good! probably has the same vibe as Inscryption! could not tell you i still have not played that thing! but these are both very good, and absolutely worth every cent

Underhero -70% it’s a bit rough around the edges, but man, this game has so much love put into it, and i think it deserves way more love than it got

My Friend Pedro -75% the action is definitely the high point here, but i have a personal soft spot for the lil’ bit of lore we do get. like, there is something there, and i want to dig my fingers in. also wacky banana is funny

Sayonara Wild Hearts -40% queer girls on motorcycles? in my rhythm game?? it’s more likely than you think!! (also, if you suck at rhythm games: me too, this is still worth picking up)

MO:Astray -50% the fact that seemingly no one on tumblr has played this... despite the fact that it feels like it’d be a right shoe in... criminal. there is a little CREACHUR! LOOK AT IT. IT IS A SLIME!!

The Messenger -75% i legit thought this game was way more popular than it, apparently, is, which i think just speaks volume of my opinion on it. it’s genuinely right up there with Shovel Knight as iconic retro throwbacks- plus! the devs are making THE most gorgeous indie rpgs, apparently set in the same universe. so that is another reason to check it out

This Strange Realm of Mine -90% an extremely weird little game that will likely not be for everyone, or even most people, but that i really liked. considering the price, i don’t really think there’s much to lose on buying this little gem

Darkside Detective -70% funny point & click game with very shipable protagonists! there’s also a ‘second season’ that i have not played (yet), but is very likely absolutely worth getting

Haiku, the Robot -33% it is, rather obviously, not as good as Hollow Knight, but if you’re suffering from ‘waiting for Silksong’, perhaps this little gem will tide you over

Transiruby -30% another small metroidvania! has really pretty pixel art, and is just a fun little time

Flynn, Son of Crimson -50% not what it was promised, but it’s a fun platformer with gorgeous pixel art, and a dog. it’s a good time, and isn’t that what we all want :]

Yomawari: Midnight Shadows -70% a cute horror game, with excellent enemy designs, and a whole town to explore. also the story is so good. i am still absolutely enamoured with this title. this is, technically, the 2nd in a series, but you can play the games standalone, and while i’m sure the 1st is just as good, i’ve only played this one. because priorities (also keep in mind!! that this is a horror game!!! i’d recommend looking up some trigger warnings, because, uh. horror game!)

A Short Hike -35% just an extremely cozy and fun little game. exploring every inch of this island was just such a good time, i still think extremely fondly of this title

Webbed -30% i am gently laying an hand on the shoulder of every bug enthusiastic on this website. you play as a spider. who is trying to get back her boyfriend from a bird. and there’s a really fun swinging mechanic. do you really need anything more?

Garden Story -60% i am once again shocked this game isn’t more popular. what do you mean a cozy adventure game with community restoration, foraging, and some fun combat with a grape protagonist isn’t one of the biggest sellers in cozy gaming spheres. there’s a frog. you can put on different hats. what else do you want!!

Donut County -70% funny little game about making holes and being a chaotic racoon. i have an extremely soft spot for the characters in this, i could not explain it <3

also Oxenfree is not on sale, but it’s cheap, and the sequel is dropping very soon! and you should absolutely check it out! because it’s really REALLY good!!

[cocozydiaries]

Can you tell me more about your mha dr please?

HIII tysm for the ask!!

noticed two mha related asks really close to each other? anon are you the same person twice🤨

okay okay if ur not new here u probably know i did post about my mha dr before BUT THAT POST WAS AWFUL so now it’s deleted and gone. sorry😞

Honestly with my updated version i’ve just kept most things kinda vague. Don’t get me wrong I love scripting, but i don’t do it that much anymore coz now i just let my subconscious handle it so my scripts are kinda empty.

I do still script, just less but dw i’ll share what i have!! I love over sharing🫶

be warned this is unorganised asf since i wrote it all at like 2am😭

My dr name (spoiler alert i don’t have one):

even tho i think names are very important I haven’t picked a name for myself in any of my drs💀. Partly coz I wanna be surprised but also partly coz just coz i’m lazy.

I did however script that my name suits me and has a nice meaning. I also scripted that my siblings and i all have the same first letter of our names (smth we have here!) but my parents also have different names for each of us, like a sorta nickname (mine is yara coz i have a love/hate relationship with butterflies)

Onto actual stuff related to my mha dr. Also probably the only thing you really care about smh. yeah ik your intentions anon🙄

Quirks!!

soooo basically quirk basically siren/mermaid irl?? tbh idk but the main thing (aside from occasionally cosplaying as ariel) i’m basically able to shape and manipulate water. Very korra coded of me ik but she has always been my favourite.

Me, some of my siblings, and parents mostly have different quirks tho due to that fact that my parents adopted us. That’s a whole different thing tho we can get into later.

I haven’t scripted my family’s quirks because again lazy asf and wanna be surprised. I’m assuming based on their jobs they’re gonna have either powerful or really useful quirks anyhow. Just makes sense

Anywhooo onto actual mha stuff like

UA:

Idk if i’m gonna get in lmao💀 all i scripted is IF i do i’ll end up in class 1A. I did that coz i wanna know if i can get into class UA without scripting it. I mean ik i will but idk funsies ig.

I also changed the uniform coz it’s ugly asf. Honestly i just think dark blue would’ve been so much better than that vomit izuku inspired green.

i also scripted that midnight and mineta are actually chill and normal people. IM SORRY GUYS💔 but mineta is lowkey funny when he isn’t a creep and midnight is so extra i love her. i just don’t like when they’re…. icky. so i scripted that out!

and i scripted that toru gets a proper hero outfit kinda similar to mirio’s thing. makes absolutely NO sense that his hero outfit was made to adapt to his quirk but they leave my girl to freeze? nuh uh

i’ve actually scripted quite a few minor difference or things i want to happen. let me know if that’s smth you guys are interested in!!

Anyways that’s kinda it coz idk what to say… I need y’all to ask me specific questions PLS😭 i suck at answering vague stuff💔

EXAMPLE: “coco” (or yara since you lot did technically unlock a new name) “exactly what are you gonna do when you wake up in ur dr at 5:21am because you heard one of ur rat siblings cluttering around outside ur door while getting ready for school.”

how i’m feeling after checking what other people’s dr intros look like and realising i was only meant to write a couple of sentences and not explain why i picked each thing i scripted for my dr in a stupid amount of detail: 😐

i can drive in my dr btw!! can’t do that here tho. thought you should know. IDK HOW TO

[cve-th3mvsic]

i should be in bed.

meaning i should be asleep.

but nooo. /sar

i can’t fall asleep

so here’s some of my thoughts before they disappear

“it’s better to be obsessed with yourself than someone else” whoever said this is fucking right

i can’t get over how cool i look

i was looking through my photo album

seeing all the old pictures of me i took

from now all the way back to 2021

i actually have two photos of me from 2020. freaking crazy

but seeing how i looked back then actually makes me happy

like. i actually looked like a boy. the happiness it brings me to see how boy i looked. it brings me to tears (half serious)

seeing me back then, and seeing my hair. it’s like. wow.

but seriously tho. like. i looked fucking awesome and i didn’t even know it back then

my hair looked so boy. i love it. i didn’t know it back then, but i do know now.

but then again, before 2023 i felt like shit a lot. we all went through shit in 2019-2021. (2020 & 2021 suck. never wanna ever go back to that. fml dude. terrible. mostly because fucking cringe. don’t bring me back there.)

but on new year’s eve (before 2023) i told myself “this is gonna be a good year”

and guess what 2023 was?

a good fuckin’ year. /pos /gen

and it was a big improvement year for me.

a few shitty things happened (and were traumatizing) but i am so much better now than ever.

i feel confident in doing my own thing

it’s amazing

like to think about how i felt back then. i don’t even know what i felt back then when i think about it now, but it was terrible

and me now?

fucking amazing

i don’t think i give a shit about many things anymore

like i just do my own damn thing and not care about things like “do i look weird” “did someone think that was weird?”

and things like.. something as small as maybe tripping.

like tripping on my own feet (i’ve done it only a few times. but it’s still happened)

i trip, catch myself, and keep walkin. maybe laugh a little too. i’ll laugh at and with myself

and i know my laugh is pretty funny

funny in both positive and negative ways probably

but i get used to my laugh

i hear my laugh all the fucking time

sometimes i laugh at my laugh, and end up fucking cackling

but also sometimes, i hear my laugh and think “awh”, and then i think about how i feel about myself now, and i kind of wonder what if someone else felt this way about me? but like

ya know

i think i’d like to be social, but i am not social right now

i don’t have the mental capacity to even comprehend the day as it goes by.

ask me how my day was?

“uh. i dunno. lemme think-”

if there was nothing significant that happened, i respond with “it was okay”

but then when i really start to break down my thoughts and figure out what i did today, it’s like “oh. that’s more things than i thought there was”

oh and like being social

dude.

recently, i’ve had a feeling that a few different people have been givin’ me like. looks.

but not like “ew 🫤” looks or “i don’t like you.” looks. not creepy looks, ya know?

but like.

ya know when you have a crush on someone and you look at ‘em and then they look back at you for a second and that glimpse of eye contact is like “shit- 🫢 did they catch me lookin’-“

i’ve had a feeling that a few different people have

how do you explain it

like maybe they felt that way or something

ya know?

like i catch ‘em lookin’ or something

i could one hundred percent be ahead of myself or crazy for thinking that these people might have a crush on me or something

i mean, they don’t even know me, i don’t know them. how could they actually have a crush?

maybe it’s like an “i think they’re pretty” kinda look

sometimes

maybe

i dunno how to describe it

but like. okay. let’s give ‘em code names ‘cause it’s fun. (never had to give code names like this before. never even had a real crush i don’t think tbh.)

there’s DVD. or maybe let’s call them “DMV” ‘cause it’s kinda funnier

no. DVD, they’re DVD

so i have 4th hour with DVD. that’s it

only see ‘em in that class.

fuck my life dude it’s 11:58pm i’m gonna cry my balls off

i’ll finish this later

goodnight

sleep welll everyone

[whysamwhy123]

Because I truly have a problem, here's even more OrangeHook. A random idea I had, too short for AO3, wrote this in like fifteen minutes so it probably sucks but whatever.

He figured Hook would get a kick out of this. An old photograph of him, from over a decade ago. He’s grinning like an idiot, surrounded by what was at the time his group of friends. Some of those guys he hasn’t spoken to in years. But some he still keeps up with. Or he’s at least aware that they’re doing okay. And Chuck’s there, of course.

But Hook, naturally, is focused only on him. ‘’How old were you here?’’

‘’About your age,’’ Orange answers.

Hook hums. Orange studies his expression, but he finds he can’t read it. The kid can’t take his eyes off it, but that could mean a lot of things.

Orange decides to go ahead and ask the number one thing on his mind right now.

‘’So, would you date me?’’

Hook looks over, an eyebrow raised. ‘’Uh, I already am?’’

Orange points to his past self in the picture. ‘’No, I meant me when I was the same age as you. Would you date him?’’

Hook’s lips purse. There’s a noticeable pause.

‘’Sure,’’ he says eventually. Not super convincing.

Orange shakes his head, chuckling. ‘’You really do have an old man thing, huh?’’

‘’Old person thing,’’ Hook insists. ‘’And I don’t, actually. I’ve dated plenty of people my own age. It’s just a…preference.’’

‘’Uh huh,’’ Orange says. He realises he doesn’t want to discuss this particular topic in much depth. He hopes Hook will drop it.

The younger man’s eyes travel back to the photo and then to Orange’s face, as if comparing and contrasting. He raises a hand and gently traces his fingertips along Orange’s jaw, and then up to cup his cheek. His touch is warm, familiar. Orange freezes in place to allow the far-from-unwelcome touch.

‘’Don’t take this the wrong way,’’ Hook says. ‘’But…you grew into your looks.’’

Orange smiles. He’s heard that before. It feels more like a compliment coming from Hook.

‘’We can’t all be Forever Pretty, like you,’’ he jokes.

Hook nods. ‘’Yeah. I can’t imagine the struggle.’’

What a little shit. Orange playfully bats his hand away.

Hook just smirks back at him. ‘’There was this girl I used to date -’’

Orange gives him a look.

Hook rolls his eyes. ‘’This woman I used to have a thing with. She was…’’ He trails off.

‘’My age?’’ Orange finishes for him.

‘’A little older,’’ Hook corrects. ‘’She used to tell me one of the most annoying things about men was how well they age. She’d keep telling me how good I was gonna look when I hit fifty.’’

Orange snorts. Not because he disagrees, it’s just…funny imaging that as someone’s idea of pillow talk. But maybe that’s just the type of people that Hook used to pursue…

‘’I’m looking forward to seeing that for myself,’’ Orange says.

Hook’s smile grows. He casts his eyes back to the photograph. It’s like he can’t look away for too long.

‘’You should let me take some new pictures,’’ he says.

‘’Of me?’’

‘’Yeah. My camera’s way better than whatever crappy old thing spat this out. And I actually know how to frame an image. And what lighting would work best for your skin tone and -’’

‘’Alright, alright, I get the idea,’’ Orange is curious though. ‘’What kind of pictures were you thinking of?’’

Hook meets his gaze. There’s a glint in his eye. Orange is a big fan.

‘’Good ones,’’ Hook says simply.

[teecupangel]

To celebrate being almost done with Valhalla, I would like to offer this: events of Valhalla are a deviation from future Juno/Minerva/Tinia saw. Desmond, while burning, saw an opportunity and, wanting to live, reaches back and does some tweaks of his own. The whole Loki surviving thing? His doing. Basim is aware of who gave him a chance to do what he did. Future ark for Basim ends up in Desmond being resurrected

Additional ask from @fanworldbuildingfun:

(just a small clarification for previous ask: basically, Loki is indebted to Desmond for his survival; pays back by setting in motion Desmond's return. Potential way to do it? Remove the "new hook" of the reality (also known as 'main character'. Let the guy be selfish, he deserves it)

It is possible that Basim knew about Desmond (or, to be more exact, the Reader) since there was a way to reach the Reader using Yggdrassil (most probably because the Norns read the Calculations just like the Reader).

So, in this scenario, Desmond doesn’t have to tweak anything if you want to stay close to canon. We have no idea if Basim even knows where his children are at the moment, but the Reader, with the Calculations in hand, can give him all the information he needed, for example: the correct set of events that must happen for Basim to be reunited with his children.

And, considering Basim is a Sage who has completely assimilated with an Isu’s memories, Desmond wouldn’t trust him completely, especially after the whole Juno debacle. Even if Basim himself can be trusted as a fellow Hidden One/Assassin, Loki cannot.

Desmond would not risk it.

So they make a deal.

Desmond will ensure Basim’s revival and give him the exact events that must play out for him to be revived and reunited with Midgarsormen.

But his other two children?

Desmond will only share that information if Basim does as he asked.

In exchange for Hel’s location, Basim must ensure certain events play out as they should and it will end with Layla’s revival.

Then, in exchange for Fenrir’s location, Layla will give him all the information he needs to ensure another set of certain events will play out and it will end with Desmond’s revival.

Basim knows he’s being used but this is the best course of action he could take and maybe he is even a bit fond of Desmond’s audacity to actually do this kind of shit to him.

(Removing the ‘new hook’ could be one of those events as well and, of course, finally keeping the world safe from whatever Isu or sun-related world-ending event that the Reader was trying to find a way out of from the very beginning)

You know what would be funny?

Instead of the plot twist being Desmond and Layla were actually the ‘reincarnation’/’Sage’ of Fenrir and Hel, they’re the reincarnation of Narfi and Váli (the children Loki had with Sigyn who was supposed to be Loki's loyal wife but their relationship is tainted by modern media into a more abusive/toxic kind of relationship which sucks)

OR

Desmond and Layla could be the reincarnation/Sages of Sigyn and Váli themselves with this entire thing being Desmond’s way to avenge Loki’s actions even though his memories of Sigyn loves Loki too much that she forgives him and understands. Well, Desmond understands it alright but that doesn’t mean he’ll forgive Loki/Basim like his past Isu-self, especially since Loki’s relationship with Angrboda/Aletheia is the trigger that destroyed their family in the first place.

The main idea is that Desmond is making Basim/Loki work his ass off to reunite with his ‘preferred’ children as a way to punish Basim/Loki for focusing so much on his children with his mistress (which is what Aletheia is in AC canon) and forgetting about, you know, HIS OTHER CHILDREN (including Sleipnir)? And Basim doesn’t realize that Desmond is the reincarnation of Sigyn/Narfi because of he didn't think the reincarnation could be of a different gender (which is canon thanks to Eivor) and because he only knew Narfi as a child. Basim feels Layla is familiar but doesn’t know why and Váli died as a child as well.

(Additional info: the only thing we have on Isu Sigyn is that Aletheia/Angrboda tells Loki that if Sigyn learns about Fenrir, their other children will be in danger too which sets Sigyn up as a more malevolent character... which isn't really much of a stretch considering all Isus are dick but it's like that frustrating misrepresentation of Persephone and Hades' relationship in AC Odyssey all over again and aaaaaahhhhhhhh)

[louisironson]

tv asks: Frasier, Seinfeld, MASH

all righty here we go!

Frasier

favorite character: niles and lilith are honestly tied, which is pretty impressive given that niles is in almost every episode and lilith shows up once a season max

funniest character: once again i have to give it to niles just because dhp’s sense of delivery and physical comedy is unmatched

best-looking character: ROZ AND LILITH don’t make me choose

3 favorite ships: niles/daphne forever obviouslyyyy, i can always go for roz/lilith, and just for fun frasier/cam winston they’re goofy

least favorite character: gertrude moon. let’s be honest daphne’s whole extended family. side note isn’t it wild that daphne’s dad is brian cox

least favorite ship: frasier/roz is just so boring to me. the show got it right they fuck once and go “huh nope never again”

reason why i watch it: i really do find it to be a smart and engaging show! it’s well-regarded for a reason and it’s because all of the writers very clearly were dedicated to their craft. shout out joe keenan ily joe keenan

why i started watching it: i like watching gay episodes of older shows and it turns out i really, really liked the matchmaker, and i just kept watching it, then ski lodge, then the doctor is out, and finally i said to myself “i should just be watching this whole show actually”. and i was right

Seinfeld

favorite character: i think i have to go with george on this one his specific brand of Being just rings so true. he sucks he’s doodoo and it’s very fun

funniest character: probably george again. he just hits my funny bone idk what to tell you

best-looking character: elaine! have you seen her.

3 favorite ships: the idea of having “ships” for this show full of the worst people in the worst relationships is a little laughable but george/any man is funny enough for me to consider

least favorite character: this one’s tough because most of the annoying characters are one-offs and so you don’t have time to resent their presence; they’re purely functional. sometimes they lean a little hard with newman

least favorite ship: the inverse of george/any man, which is of course jerry/any woman. he doesn’t deserve any of them, and i’m including elaine

reason why i watch it: i love shows full of people who suck and seinfeld got that shit right in an era where we were supposed to like our tv leads a lot more. for a show that’s hailed as being “about nothing” it’s somehow both mundane and full of plots that you could not get anywhere else. every time i think about the junior mint i just go. what the fuck.

why i started watching it: seinfeld is my one of my dad’s special interests so i was indoctrinated young

M*A*S*H

favorite character: benjamin franklin “hawkeye” pierce has quickly worked his way into my heart

funniest character: hawkeye again but tbh honorable mention to frank because something about him is just so stupid and goofy and it’s really hitting me lately. aw nertz you know

best-looking character: what was the one episode with radar and like the nurse who liked bach. i seem to remember her being exactly my type lol. and margaret

3 favorite ships: hawkeye really does need to fuck men. for enrichment. hunnihawk is classic, as is piercintyre, and my eyes have been opened to hawkeye/sidney. i wish i could talk about more women but i don’t want margaret to have to deal with any of these men and i haven’t met helen whitfield yet so i can’t speak to her. and there are sadly not nearly as many women on this show. its biggest flaw i’d say

least favorite character: i really don’t have one in mind they all generally work very effectively. i suppose that i think flagg is less fun to hate than, say, frank, but they serve very different purposes so i don’t mind that i react to them differently—flagg is recurring, not a regular, so it’s right that he’s best in small doses. is this enough of an answer

least favorite ship: cannot get behind hawkeye/radar. that’s literally his aunt you guys

reason why i watch it: i feel like it’s boring that i keep answering “it’s a really good and compelling piece of television” but why do you watch tv shows. because they’re good and you like them. that and i do suppose i like to see how gay of a sentence hawkeye can say without being questioned. (CAPTAIN SODOM??)

why i started watching it: it’s a classic of all classics. i’ve been on a real 70s sitcom kick and for whatever reason i was watching ones that were far far worse than mash and i was like i could be watching mash. so i did

[dragoonhooman]

Do you guys think William and Dakota call Tide at the exact same time every night except in different locations?

Maybe William is at the driver’s seat, feet propped up against the wheel and the blue light of the phone against his face and maybe Dakota is on the roof of the Winnebago, hugging his legs close to his chest and setting his phone on the space beside him, the ringtone spiralling up, up, up into the sky, perhaps even very faintly meeting the moon.

And the phone rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And—

“Hello! This is Tide, if you’re hearing this message then I’m probably busy cooking beef stroganoff or forgot to charge my phone again. Anyways, please leave a message after the—“

[Beep]

And they both talk, about similar yet different topics. About chaos demons and cartoon dreams and new maybe-friends and accidentally freeing all the animals in the zoo and…

“Hi Tide.” William starts, low and soft as not to wake up the sleeping half-elf in the back. “I don’t know if you’re ever seeing these messages but uh—its been a couple days since I last checked in so I might as well sum up what we’ve been doing, right? So we met this lady—“

“—Her name was Minerva.” Dakota explains, lying down on the roof. I called her ‘On my nerves Minerva’ though, cause she was super mean and super SUS. But she let us go to Vyncent’s world though. Like his home dimension. And—It’s so SICK there—no pun intended cause it was all kinda dead there but like we also got all rpg, video game-lookin outfits and things. William looked like a wizard and made zombies just disappear and—“

“—We also met Vyncent’s mom. She was pretty cool, though apparently rats were a delicacy there? Like its not just a Vynce thing literally everyone did it. Steamed rats, boiled rats, raw rats. Oh by the way, we got the Greats out of Vyncent’s head there. As in all of them, Alphonse, Ram, Min, Chungus. We left them in the fantasy world, in their home, so Vynce can’t access his power anymore but—“

“—Now he has this sick as hell sword bro! Like it can glow and has a bit of the Greats’ powers in there too! Its so cool, man. I wish you could’ve seen it. After that we went to go and kill the Lich! He’s like the Overlord of that world! He—“

“—Was already dead. All the Lich did was use living things and kill them to fuel himself. It was a power source for him, and he was planning to invade Prime. Imagine if he did—Well he kinda did actually. Not like what you might’ve been thinking though. He got brought here, and we followed him so uh—that’s how we got back. We fought him some more, chasing him down into a play theatre. Did you know Hamilton was playing there? I saw Lin Manuel Miranda! I wanted to get an autograph after but well—“

“—We met these other heroes. Lightspeed and Wordsmith and Bookworm. Lightspeed was pretty cool, she helped me get my save back after Will and Vyncent literally DELETED IT. But then I almost got to kill the Lich and they STOPPED ME. Told us the Lich should get a trial or whatever then they’ll put him in jail. I don’t—“

“—Get it. The Lich came from an entirely different dimension! It literally killed things to keep itself alive and destroyed Vyncent’s world and they’re going to put it in jail?! Like that would ever work—It—It’s stupid. Just—I miss you, Tide. I miss your terrifying school alarms and your funny apron and all the beef stroganoff you somehow cooked even though we made sure we hid them all. I wish you’d answer me. I’m just—I’m just scared. I’m—“

“—Confused. Heroes are supposed to keep people safe and without killing them, right? But—I want to kill the Lich so bad. He sucks and he should be gone so he can’t hurt anyone else but—Wordsmith and Lightspeed say I won’t be a actual hero if I do that. But I am a hero, right? I don’t really know anymore. Wish you were here…dad.”

Then both, at the same time:

“Love you.”

And the message would end. And the phone would be clicked shut.

And the world became quiet again.

[x-ceirios-x]

letters: emma and jensen

a handful of letters/fire messages between jensen ashfair and his friend emma carstairs. takes place between the end of city of glass and the beginning of city of lost souls

Emma,

Sorry I haven’t been answering your letters. Things here are still crazy. I feel terrible all the time. Mom’s trying her best to cheer me up, but I can see she’s upset too. I slept in her bed with her the other day—I think it made us both feel better. 

Thanks for checking in. 

- Jensen

— —

Emma,

Mom says she thinks its a good thing for me to talk to you some more. I want to, I guess I don’t know what all to say. Life’s not too interesting right now, just a lot of Rowan and Dad fighting. Alec’s on vacation with Magnus which is super cool, I wish I was on vacation. Maybe one day, I can come visit you in LA! That would be fun, right?

I’m gonna go back to reading my comic books now. It’s good to hear from you. Mom says thank you, too. 

- Jensen

— —

Em,

How are things in LA? I hope they’re good. Thanks for asking about the comics. I’ve been reading this Spiderman series that I think is super cool! I really like that Spiderman could be anybody behind the mask. Maybe I could be spiderman one day. That sounds lame. Ignore that. 

I’m still missing Max but I had dinner with Jace and Clary and Izzy last night. I think Rowan was at Simon’s house. They seem to spend a lot of time with him lately, which is funny, because I think he’s dating Izzy. They hang out a lot, though, and I think Rowan has a crush on him. You can’t tell anyone that, though!! Please. Rowan will kill me. 

Dinner was good. Dad cooked, and he made this chili stuff that he says Uncle Patrick can’t eat cause it’s too spicy. I think it’s funny. I’m gonna write to Aline and see if he’s messing with me and trying to make me laugh or if he’s being serious. 

I found out from Mom today that Dad likes to draw. I didn’t know that. I asked and he didn’t say much about it, but maybe that’s where I get the steady hand from. Clary says when I draw runes it doesn’t hurt so much. Don’t you have a friend that likes to draw? Maybe he could teach me one day.

It’s late where I am right now. I should probably go to bed soon, Jace said he’s gonna take me out for training tomorrow morning. I don’t feel like running, maybe he’ll let me climb for a bit. I like climbing. 

Say hi to the Blackthorns for me.

- Jensen

— —

Emma,

I’m worried about Jace. He seems really closed off lately. No one really wants to tell me what’s going on, which is fine, but I’ll ask him about it later, maybe. Everyone’s off at that party for Luke and Jocelyn tonight, which is cool, but I didn’t really wanna go even if I was invited. 

Otherwise, things seem okay. I think my dad and Mom are hanging out a lot lately, and that Andy girl is third-wheeling a lot. Andy is Jace’s sister, I guess (Jace has a sister, it’s not Clary, it’s a whole thing. I don’t even know anymore, I just stopped asking). She’s an adult though, so I guess she’s helping Mom. 

I forget if I ever explained this. Mom and Dad aren’t actually together. Mom is Maryse, who isn’t “technically” my mom, but she’s Mom. Y’know? Dad is my actual dad. It’s strange, but I call the Lightwoods family too. Kinda like you and the Blackthorns, right? I think family is whoever you decide to annoy for the rest of your life. 

I hope things are good. I like the picture you sent with the last letter with the palm trees—things are getting colder here and all the trees lost their leaves. I wish it was 70 again, not below freezing when it gets dark out. Visiting sounds better every day. Maybe with some convincing, we can get Mom to bring me for a few days. 

- Jensen

Jen,

I think a visit sounds great! Maybe I’ll talk to Julian’s dad and the parents can work something out. Let me know! I don’t envy your weather right now, the sunshine feels amazing. It NEVER rains here though. You might have to get used to the dry heat. It sucks. We’ll take you to the beach sometime. 

That’s funny about your mom and dad. I don’t have that, but Julian’s dad is pretty cool. I think you just collect moms like crazy. You’ve gotta have at least two, is there any others you haven’t told me about?

Sorry things are stressful, but I’m glad you’re doing better. Things are good here, too. Not much different in my life, but you guys in New York seem to have something different going on every week. Keep me in the loop—I’m rooting for you!

With love,

Emma Carstairs

— — 

Jen,

Hope you’re doing okay. I haven’t heard from you lately. There’s some council meeting happening soon and Helen is going to that with Julian and the Blackthorns. I dunno what it is. I’m gonna see if I can go so I can see you! It’s been too long. I’ll keep this short so I can tell you all about life when I get there. 

With love,

Emma Carstairs

— —

Jensen, where are you? I know this won’t go through, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Everyone’s trying to find you. Just hold on a little for me. 

With love, 

Emma

[volleyball-crow]

Rules!! Aoba Johsai Volleyball Team

Rejected titles, written above and crossed out: Resistance is Futile, Oikawa-san’s Rules, OIKAWA-SAN RULES, Seijoh Commandments, Aoba Johsai Laws, Shittykawa can’t come up with decent titles to save his life, Vice-captain please stop antagonizing him

-

Rule #1: Oikawa-san is the master commander in this ship and you shall obey him in all matters.

lol l o l lol lol Mutiny! Mutiny, I say!

Rule #2: First-years must rotate setting up duties, as well as cleaning up duties.

Oikawa, if you’re going to do this, then at least do it decently why must you suck the fun out of everything, Iwa-chan? interesting choice of words there Oikawa-kun! Matsukawa. Laps. Yes, sir. On it, sir.

Rule #2.1. if Kunimi pretends to forget his turn again, he’ll get a life sentence

why is there a rule just for me, Hanamaki-san, that’s so unfair i n s t e a d   o f   a   r u l e,   w e   c o u l d   a s k   t h e    v i c e-c a p t a i n   t o   t h i n k    u p   s o m e   k i n d   o f    s p e c i a l   p u n i s h m e n t    f o r   y o u actually, you know what, Kindaichi, I’m fine with this

Rule #3: You bleed on it, you wash it

how do I get blood out of fabric, again? hydrogen peroxide, Mattsun. or you could just put that ugly yellow shirt in the trash where it belongs don’t even, Oikawa, I know the nasty stuff you have hidden in that wardrobe

Rule #4: Mandatory yearly field trip to look at the stars for team bonding purposes!

Is this just an excuse to spend an entire night looking for UFOs and discussing the possibility of alien life? Y e s. Y e s. Yeeep. What say you, Dr. Expert-in-Oikawa-Matters I say he probably needs his Star Trek collection confiscated to calm down a little YOU’RE NOT CUTE! YOU’RE NOT CUTE AT ALL! THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T GET A GIRLFRIEND, IWA-CHAN! lol no it’s not

Rule #5: If you bring a water bottle to practice, then take it home with you

The club room is small enough, don’t waste space on stupid stuff, we already have Oikawa that hurt even me UNCALLED FOR IWA-CHAN!

Rule #6: Occasionally the vice-captain will fuck up and end up petting the captain’s hair in apology. Pretend you don’t see this.

I’d like to know who had the balls to write this because he deserves a medal h a p p y   p e o p l e   s h o u l d   a l l   e x p l o d e

Rule #6: For fuck’s sake, no fangirls.

someone explain to me how come Oikawa-san’s presence makes us all invisible? l o l   m i s d i r e c t i o n

Rule #7: Iwa-chan needs some loving every now and then~ Oikawa needs a kick in the ass every now and then

N o   t h a n k s,   I   e n j o y   l i v i n g I also happen to be quite attached to my life r e l a x,   l i t t l e   f i r s t   y e a r s,   I w a i z u m i    m e a n t   t h i s   r u l e   j u s t   f o r   h i m s e l f,   h e’ d   k i l l   y o u   i f   y o u   t r i e d   i t o h    g o d not to worry, Kindaichi, Oikawa-senpai would kill us himself first s o m e h o w    I’ m    n o t   c o m f o r t e d Iwa-chan, how dare you talk about the great Oikawa-san like this! that’s exactly why why does no one respect me in this house. I guess we should show our respect for you more, shouldn’t we, Captain Mattsun~ you’re my favourite♥

Rule #8: We must greet Oikawa’s greatness every morning with a salute and 2 yoga exercises done on the spot.

Downward dog is preferred. I w a i z u m i - s a n,   n o o o o   X D D D Mattsun, you’re no longer my favourite. lol disowned it was all worth it HANAMAKI-SAN DID IT HANAMAKI-SAN DID IT OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA M A T S U K A W A - S A N  T O O!   O M G this is why everyone thinks the volleyball team is not normal well, they’re not wrong

Rule #9: Funny guys who think they’re funnier than they actually are will run laps until they puke♥

Sorry =(   Sorry        S O R R Y       s o r r y ! !       oops We’re really sorry, please don’t kill us Whoever said Captain is not a hardass, my thousand bruises and missing tooth would like to have a word he just wanted to see if your eyebrows get thinner when you’re tired Iwaizumi-san. Not helping. [you’re all so strange - Sawamura] Z I P    I T    K A R A S U N O !

Rule #10: If we’re playing poker, Oikawa-senpai is not allowed in the room

just -how- does he know everyone’s tells? it’s not that bad, is it? m a y b e    i f    y o u    c o u l d   r e s i s t   t h e    u r g e   t o   d o   a   l i v e  a u d i o   c o m m e n t a r y   a n d   d i d n ’t   o u t   e v e r y   s i n g l e   b l u f f   g o i n g  o n I’d also appreciate my eyebrows not being the topic of a 5-minute monologue for once

Rule #11: Monopoly is BANNED.

L e t   i t    b e   n o t e d   h e r e    t h a t    I   o w n e d   a l l   y o u r   a s s e s. Makki, dude, let it go.

Rule #12: No dog jokes, practical or otherwise. Kyotani is enough of a pain in the ass already.

personally I thought the leash was a very nice touch because he didn’t get the joke? because he didn’t get the joke. y o u ’ r e   s o   l u c k y    h e   r e a d   t h e   w o r d   “R u l e s”   a n d   s t a r t e d   p r e t e n d i n g   t h i s   b o a r d   d o e s n’ t   e x i s t

Rule #13: Liberos are precious creatures that must be protected at all costs.

I need to know who wrote this, so I can figure out if I should be feeling the love or the sarcasm Watari, dear, it’s probably both O i k a w a - s a n   o n   p o i n t   a s    a l w a y s

Rule #14: Iwa-chan is a beautiful cinnamon roll, too perfect for this world, too pure

d i d   O i k a w a - s a n   s u r v i v e   w r i t i n g   t h i s ? he’s been missing for three days O H    M Y   G O D    W H A T Kindaichi you saw him less than an hour ago o h.   o h   y e a h.

Rule #15: If you’re drunk, we don’t know you.

But I hear he still carried Captain’s ass home [but did he cop a feel, tho] NEKOMA WHEN I FIND YOU I’M GONNA KILL YOU [that was not a no] please don’t kill another team’s captain, Iwaizumi-san

Rule #16: If you don’t know me, I can do whatever I want

a h.   t h e y ’r e   s t i l l    f i g h t i n g,   a r e n ’t    t h e y ? how observant of you. Does nothing escape your all-seeing eye, Kindaichi?

Rule #17: Team dinners after every match. No exceptions.

good to hear they made up

Rule #18: The next person to start an underwear-stealing chain will be hung up from the school’s flag mast in their socks. And only their socks.

is this actually physically possible? wanna find out?

Rule #19: Iwaizumi-san is always serious, and must always be taken at his word, please don’t ever think he’s kidding because he’ll really do it oh god

and they said high school wouldn’t be a traumatic experience

Rule #20: CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES FOR FUCK’S SAKE THAT WAS DISGUSTING

this day will go down in Aoba Johsai history as the smelliest there ever was i t    l o o k s    l i k e    a   d i r t y    l a u n d r y    b o m b   f r o m   h e l l   w e n t    o f f    i n    t h e r e.   w h a t    t h e   h e l l   h a p p e n e d I   n e e d    t o   kn o w:   w h o    d o   t h e   s p a r k l y    a l i e n   b o x e r s   b e l o n g   t o ? lolololol Oikawa-san, Kindaichi found your underwear w h a t ? nooooo, Kin-chan, don’t believe his lies! I know for a fact you have three more pairs in different colours STOP MESSING IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER HAJIME stop hiding the TV remote in there when you’re sulking C a p t a i n… ah, Captain just broke Kindaichi’s little hero-worshipping heart. he should buy him dinner as compensation. and me too. oh no. I feel so disillusioned. only free food can heal the wound in my soul. in fact, he should buy all of us dinner, after all this hard work, isn’t that right, Hanamaki-san? I   w o u l d n’ t    s a y   n o    t o    t h a t,    M a t s u k a w a - s a n. you’re all horrible, horrible people, I should just go to Shiratorizawa you’d be back in three days, tops. you’re so uncute, Iwa-chan. no wonder you can’t get a girlfriend. lolololol that’s not why

Rule #21: don’t underestimate other teams, no matter how weak they seem.

d a m n.   d a m n    d a m n    d a m n   d a m n. next time, man. we’ll only get better from here. stay focused.

Rule #22: Karasuno and Shiratorizawa are going down first - and then we’re going for the Champions Cup. First place will be ours.

Scribbled several times all over the remaining space below rule #22 in different handwritings: Yes, Captain.

RULE THE COURT

(tiny drawing of an adorable, but somehow incredibly menacing chibi!Oikawa, with a cheerful smile full of teeth. The speech bubble next to him reads: “…. or else.”)

[aphra7]

Danger v. Danger

My origin story is purple ponytail Butter Jungkook. I was hooked by the lip the moment he autoplay sauntered across my screen while I was innocently scrolling Facebook (of all places) and then YouTube suggested ON and one video led to another and the next thing I knew I’d forked $22 over to Weverse so that I could call myself a card-carrying ARMY. Literally the same day. And then Sowoozoo (Miami JK) happened and someone on Reddit was like “hey you should watch My Time” and I have been mainlining Bangtan ever since. But it took me forever to explore content as far back as the Dark & Wild era because when I went back that far, Jungkook was just so damn young. It was too weird.

Yeah haha very funny.

With time, however, I realized that my true primary affections lay with Jin, because Jin is total husband material, and he was already a hot grownup when Dark & Wild came out. Problem solved!

Not sure how I slept on this Seokjin. Forgive me, my darling.

I still love you, Jungkook. It’s just, I’m married now.

Anyway, all of Dark & Wild is great, but I have an inordinate fondness for Danger. First, it sounds like a long-lost Michael Jackson song, and I am an OG MJ fan. Second, the guyliner. So good. Finally, my absolute favorite form of BTS content is performance videos, and there are a million bazillion performances of Danger.

My original plan was to rank every performance of Danger, and I began that project, but it turns out that Tumblr won’t let me link that many videos in a single post and its UI sucks too bad for me to break what I already have into multiple posts. I might still finish someday, but in the meantime, why don’t we put the video for Korean Danger up against Japanese Danger and see who wins.

First up: Korean Danger

This video features members doing things that are things other members do. Jimin is boxing instead of Jungkook. Jungkook is playing the piano instead of Yoongi. Taehyung is cutting his own hair instead of Jin. Jin is wearing a muscle shirt instead of Namjoon. Namjoon is brooding, which is something he does, but he is also tattooing himself, which I cannot in five million years imagine him actually doing. Only Yoongi (basketball) and Hoseok (dancing) are engaged in on-brand activities.

The angst is so thick, it’s chewy.

Something is wrong; there’s a palpable sense of unease throughout that isn’t resolved. The lighting is mood and the stakes seem high. They are all suffering, but you don’t know why. You can almost see HYYH and its neverending cycle of misery* on the horizon.

They’re… in danger.

* Don’t @ me. I love HYYH.

The challenger: Japanese Danger

What is with this thumbnail?

I usually avoid Japanese versions of Korean songs because they weird me out, but I love that BTS often goes to the trouble of making separate, fully-realized videos for the Japanese versions. They look incredible in this. The lighting is better than in the Korean video. (I’m a sucker for high contrast.) The choreo is much easier to follow and the vibe (other than dance Hobi’s accusatory expression, seriously, I never want to be on Hoseok’s bad side) just feels different. And there’s a storyline. The underground club gang fight/dance battle subplot with Tae waiting fruitlessly for some girl (probably) to message him back is low-stakes, easy to follow, and satisfyingly resolved.

Also, how cute is baby JayKaaaaaaaayyyyyyy?

The club sequence begins with young thug Jimin busting the door open (I cry) and ends with Tae apparently triumphing in a rap battle. (Did Tae write this storyline?) It’s so good! There’s a happy ending! I love this story! Who needs girls? Not rap king Taehyung!

The verdict:

I realize this is a spicy take, but based purely on the videos, Japanese Danger is the superior Danger.

The settings are better.

The styling is better.

I can see the choreo better.

Jin is extra super hot in this version. It’s not just me, look at the comments. BACK OF THE LINE PEOPLE HE’S MINE

There’s an actual story instead of just “wow these guys sure do have a lot of feelings.” Not that there’s anything wrong with guys having a lot of feelings.

The climax of Japanese Danger is Tae winning a rap battle. The climax of Korean Danger is… he cuts his hair. Which I can’t take seriously because I watched the behind so I know he accidentally did cut his actual hair and not just the forelock toupee, so it makes me giggle every time.

The only better things about Korean Danger is it’s in Korean (I will only suffer through the disorientation of listening to the Japanese version for the sake of watching the video) and Namjoon’s hair. I love his edgy Japanese Danger hair, but I have a real soft spot for the soft serve/Marilyn Monroe look.

Who in their right mind would give Namjoon a tattoo gun?

I take no pleasure in this verdict. I’m Korean-American and never willingly admit that anything Japanese is better, ever, due to the traditional enmity between our peoples. I will entertain arguments in the comments, if anyone has any. But I’m not wrong.

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