#then they would just sigh and continue
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sad part is i wish i could make all my problems someone elses fault but i know they're all mine.
#and unfortunately because its me and i know me i wont be making a change.#change is always something for “oh next time” or “the times not right” or “when i get my own space i'll” or blah blah blah excuses#tho its sad i dont use excuses with other people anymore i always got sad when my teachers would look at me with disappointment when i trie#to give excuse as to why is the homework not done??#the “i just didnt do it” would just end the conversation there because well#damn you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink#then they would just sigh and continue#which is much better than me crying at night trying to do something that wont be done#see what i mean???? all my fault babyyyy
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more misc scribbles!!!
#while assembling this i thought to myself#Aha! Less Barnaby This Time!#but no. im looking at it now and its. its still primarily barnaby#sigh...#i sit down to draw with a specific thing in mind. i blink. suddenly an unplanned barnaby is on the page#scribble salad#anyway puppets swearing continues to be Hysterical to me#all i want for christmas... is to hear wally darling say Fuck....#also barnaby. i think that would fix me#actually i just wanna hear all their silly goofy fuckin voices swearing#i would feel peace in my soul
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they cast a 28 year old for Tyson 💀
[relevant rants: here and here]
yeah, i saw - i wasn't holding onto hope of them casting a disabled actor for Tyson (still disappointed, just not surprised) but casting a 28 year old for a middle schooler is really out of left field. It's just an odd choice? Particularly given how much they've been emphasizing age-accurate casting so far.
It makes me really wonder what major rewrites they have planned for Tyson's character. Because as things stand currently there's no way to make Tyson's existing character work with this casting. Tyson is supposed to be in Percy's grade, but Daniel Diemer sticks out like a sore thumb against the child actors. Tyson being in Percy's grade is pretty important for the entire arc of Sea of Monsters with the main character arc being Percy combating internalized ableism and establishing him as a character who stands up for other marginalized kids. If they remove that, what's Percy's arc going to be for that entire season? At what point are they going to establish that about his character? Or are they just going to exposition it at us like usual with nothing backing it up and no actual character progression? And in later seasons the age gap is only going to be more prominent - like how is Tyson going to work in BoTL or TLO? Are they planning on removing his character entirely for those scenes? Are they going to remove him as a recurring character in general? It'd be really weird if they killed him off or something.
I'm also afraid for if they do try to keep Tyson's disability coding in some form - cause there's kind of no good way it can go at this point. Either they completely erase Tyson's coding because they cast an abled actor for him and that messes up the entire arc of the book and his character particularly in relation to Percy, or they have an abled actor attempt to portray a character heavily coded as having down syndrome (and i believe they're already doing similar with iirc Chiron's actor is abled but they're doubling-down in the show on Chiron being disabled) and given how they've written the neurodivergence themes (or absence there of) in the show so far there's just no way that'd end well. Like, Tyson's characterization is a little questionable to begin with in the books, but given the show's writing so far it just feels like we're very rapidly ramping up for an extremely ableist characterization of Tyson. Like i'm sure Daniel Diemer is a great actor, but... i'm just getting real tired of the show erasing the entire premise of the series :T
anyways as per my initial post about pjo tv tyson casting theories i guess it's time for me to start tearing stuff apart with my teeth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv#pjo tv crit#tyson pjo#Anonymous#ask#sorry to play debbie downer i just would really like the Disability Series to. yknow. keep the Disability part in it.#the show has kind of already had subtle problems in the casting with stuff like a lack of plus-sized actors for plus-sized characters#and again with like Chiron casting abled actors for disabled characters. im glad they did it for Hephaestus#and im VERY happy about Hephaestus' casting. but he seems to be the only time they've actually done that in the casting so far#im not even sure if any of the demigod actors are adhd/dyslexic? i havent heard anything about it#like its not uncommon so i wouldnt be surprised if they are but i would think we would have heard about that by now if so#deepest sigh. i think the most annoying part is the series has so much potential to be really good!#like most of the casting would be the best thing ever if only the script was actually decent#i mean im not surprised if disney is afraid to cast more than one disabled actor or any plus-sized actors for major roles#cause it's disney. of course they'd be like that. which just kind of continues my point of - if youre gonna adapt a franchise#you should really be aware of like. the major details about it and the characters. before you dive head first into it and go#''oh whoops! no we cant do any of that because we dont want to. guess we'll just Change Everything or blatantly ignore it.''
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MC: I'd tell him to rest more often.
Zayne: It would be better if you told him to keep it up.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#not me working on a high school au edit#i might even write snippets to go with them idk yet#ok but i lowkey want an au where mc and caleb continue growing up alongside and going to school together with zayne#like i can see zayne waiting to walk to school together#caleb would tease mc and upset her#zayne would quietly make little snow/ice figurines to comfort her#he wouldn't skip grades because he would want to stay by her side for as long as he can#the trio would be inseparable#they would have after school snacks together#study sessions#caleb and mc would drag zayne to arcades and tease him for being so studious#he would reprimand them for being too lax in their studies#i just really really really need this au so badly#sighs#i'm gonna have to write it aren't i#😔
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sorry to be doing mcu throwback complaints again and EXTRA sorry for it to be about cacw and aou, sorry, i just am thinking again that if marvel had. in aou. committed to letting steve rogers see that captain america graffiti calling him a fascist with his own two eyes i would have forgiven many of their subsequent deeds and crimes
#like hey. hey shh. cacw but they engage with the politics of it and also have in a previous movie made him look at that graffiti. chefs kiss#WHAT IF THEY LET HIM MAKE A SPEECH. CACW BUT IF THEY LET STEVE TALK. UTOPIAN#i know asking that of mcu is like asking a toddler to build you a house but its just SO INTERESTING. TO ME#THAT IT WAS MADE AND FILMED AND THEN SCRAPPED#that they had steve's reaction be to just remove the helmet identifying him with that symbol and Continuing On#it's just interesting is all i am saying it's Interesting#note: i am obviously not saying steve's a fascist i just think it would be INTERESTING for Little Guy Of WW2 Fame to see it with his eyes#maybe i'm just still mad that my captain america press conference was stolen and turned into a peggy funeral idk. sigh#i'm done i'm done i promise. i don't have fatws open in another tab letting it microwave my brain. dont worry#kayvswords#mcu desperately trying to tell stories without telling an actual story is so genuinely fascinating to me#they want the themes and aesthetics without the substance but like. it's a story. it'll say something whether you want it to or not#idk idk idk. fatws is also i think peak mcu politics it's very funny. fascinating company. theyre so bad at movie#WHY DID CACW HAPPEN LIKE THAT. WHO THOUGHT IT WAS SMART. christ god#i feel like i should tag this as something so i don't get jumped but idk if that's still the vibe here kfdjglkjdfh
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I've elected to ignore 430 & midoriya losing OFA for good, the ending did not do my favorites justice so I am pretending it didnt happen forever - only thing I'll accept is midoriya becoming a teacher
#dogwatertalks#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#spoilers#mha 430#bnha 430#chapter 430#sorry but I have TRIED to like this ending so hard#but it just failed miserablely to give any sort of satisfaction to me#idc if you like it#please continue liking it!!#it's just not satisfying or good to me at all#sigh 😞#I'm ok with him being a teacher cause he so would be a teacher#but he should also be a pro at the same time#he can do both#also being a teacher is dadmight moment#assuming all might is still teaching#which I dont see why he wouldn't be really#what else does he have to do#literally nothing#mha ending#mha ending critical#not the entire series. I loved it. but just the ending#well I mean I have my gripes with it but still
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No one:
Purrgil: omg it's a baby force user
Purrgil: hiiiiii
Anyway I've now got a headcanon that Purrgil actually adore Force users (especially the small ones) and they go out of their way to say hello. It doesn't happen often cause they're so damn rare.
#you know how Obi-Wan's really good with animals? Apply that here#Mace would just sigh because of COURSE it's one of Yoda's Disaster Lineage that encounters a legend#this was originally about Grogu and the purrgil but then it just continued#I still think the purrgil were saying hi tho#like who wouldn’t say hi to that cute lil green baby#star wars#star wars series#purrgil#grogu#obi wan kenobi#the mandalorian#the mandalorian season 3#the mandalorian spoilers#purrgil love force users
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fancy thinking jewels and gowns don't work as symbols of authority. imagine not making the link between wealth and power. couldn't be me. couldn't be any number of monarchs displaying their authority on their bodies. look at this absurdly expensive frock my wife is wearing. it's worth as much as your house. kneel, peasant, and kiss the hem of her luxurious garment. you're lucky, the next sumptuary laws will ban you from being in the same room as crimson silk.
#i know what they meant but also... no?#even if you interpret a queen's necklace as the cost of a knight on horseback that's an “I CAN BUY A KNIGHT” sign she's wearing.#if every man in the room is holding a sword how do you spot the king? would it be... by his head-jewellery?#(shut up *i* would wear my crown constantly and so did peter o'toole in that homoerotic becket movie)#*dramatic sigh* this is what happens when they let miltary historians write books about the middle ages isn't it?#*wipes my brow with a handkerchief made from imported silk and hand-embroidered with my initials*#*i'm not even sweating i just want to let everyone in the room see that i can afford it*#*continues consuming conspicuously*
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Ough as the end draws near I’m seeing more and more comments that are making me nervous that the ending won’t live up to all the hype & expectations aaaa aa
#ask#for example#there’s a few notes I’ve forgotten about that we’re gonna be important but now make no sense in the story#so I’ve gotta figure out how to work them in#without it feeling forced#and at the same time#continuing with the idea I’ve been married to for a few weeks about what the ending is gonna be#but now I’m so nervous that people won’t like the ending#and I’ll have ruined this fic#sobs#ik most of you will hopefully enjoy it!! but even seeing a few be like ‘aw :( I hoped something else would happen’ is gonna be ROUGH#but honestly#thank you all for the amazing experience you’ve given me writing this#I never realized just how much I enjoy writing until I started writing this fic#and all the love has been so sos o life changing#so thank you all <3#one person specifically said I was ‘stalling’ but like :( I’m drawing out the tension. if I do things too quickly it won’t have any umph.#I just haven’t been able to stop thinking abt that comment sigh#personal
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I am in no way an expert on Hu Jing as a character (or any despair time character I think. since I really only watch when it comes out) but even so. I think a lot of people fail to understand what she's about and that's why she's so disliked. shrugs.
#aka she's a deconstruction of the “no one will continue the killing game right guys!?” shtick#which is typically seen with the more positive members of cast in danganronpa#hu's way of thinking is very flawed and would have been what kept them from finding the truth#and with a cast who majorly accepts that the killing game will happen it's understandable why hu stands out like a sore thumb#but this belief is because of who she is as a person and as a consequence of her life until the killing game#however no one wants to consider how the “hopeless child” wants to believe in the innocence of others to a fault#almost as if she's clinging onto something to believe in (something that david's actions deny for her and so she doubles down on nico-#being innocent instead when they are ready to admit to what they did)#idk. i think hu is interesting so it's sad to see her reduced to being annoying when she is. not having a good time#of course if it's down to a taste in character thing and hu isn't it then i understand it's just. sigh.#sometimes it feels like no thought is being given as to WHY she's acting the way she currently is#whatever. the women in drdt are all amazing and i'll defend them to my death.
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i understand why succession didn't get a fifth season. that doesn't mean i agree with the decision to end the show after four seasons.
#jesse had a vision and i respect it. i still wanted a fifth season and it could have made sense!!!!!!!!!#if they had made the decision to continue to fifth season it could've been good!!! that way there would have been more room for it all#also sue me but i didn't like the shiv pregnancy <3 it makes sense but shiv literally did not win once. free my girl#and yes i will talk about this forever but as someone who was deeply invested in whatever roman and gerri had going on..........#it could've been so good. instead it was. just something. i wish they wouldn't have cut the funeral scene!!!! even that would have been good#now i have a martini and a dream!!!!!#sigh. at least i will always have season two#it seems like after a year i am finally ready to talk about it. sorry to all my vampire enthusiast friends but honestly.#most of you went to succession too <3
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So, I've heard some voices here and there lamenting how little Gabe content - especially new Gabe content - there was and you know what? I completely agree, so I thought why not, I can try to add my little droplet into this tiny sea of Gabe appreciation we have here on tumblr.
Summary: Elena visits Gabe in his house for the first time and learns something new about his past.
Word count: 1937
AN: just some friendly fluff really, headcanon heavy, from Elena's POV but Gabe centric
"Oh, watch out, the first step is-" Gabe turned around just in time to catch Elena when she started to fall backwards. "-loose."
"Thanks for the warning." Elena shot him a glare when she regained her balance. In response Gabe only sent her an unapologetic grin and pulled her up on the next step.
"Everyone's so used to it by now that we keep forgetting to fix it with my dad," he explained as they finally reached the first floor.
The stairs led to a narrow corridor, with the same room placement as the bakery beneath it. Two doors on the right, one on the left and a wide opening to the living room at the end. In a few brisk steps Gabe opened the door on the left and invited Elena in with a courteous gesture.
"Welcome to my humble abode, your highness."
Her highness graced him with a nod and slipped by him, into the small room. Elena gave it a quick one over. It was indeed small - in fact, there probably wasn't much more space than what each guard got at the barracks - and the decor wasn't much fancier either. Cream colored walls, a thin bed by the window, a wardrobe opposite of it, one wall taken up by a bookshelf and a small cabinet by another made up basically all the furnishing of the room.
"Humble is a good word." She nodded solemnly, earning herself an eye roll from her friend. They both chuckled.
"Hey, it's your room that's out of the norm, you know?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Elena retorted, thinking about how three or even four such rooms would fit into hers. She walked over to the cabinet and picked up some trinket. "But it's nice to finally see where you grew up."
Gabe couldn't stop a fond smile sneaking onto his lips when he noticed the badge she was examining.
"Yeah and I didn't really get to change much here in the past five years. For example this thing I got back when-"
"Gabriel!" He was interrupted by his mother's voice from the bakery.
"I'll tell you in a moment," he sighed. "Make yourself at home!" He added from the doors and quickly ran downstairs to his parents.
Elena took another look around the room. It wasn't entirely empty, she had to admit that, and the poster of Antonio Agama on the inner side of the door confirmed that Gabe didn't change the decor much since he moved out.
She moved to the bookshelf and moved her hand across the titles - though there weren't that many of them to count. The lower shelves were taken up by some boxes and bags and what could've been a neatly packaged tent. Then finally a whole shelf dedicated to the whole collection of Antonio Agama's books. Elena chuckled to herself when she read some of the more dramatic titles and noticed even one that wasn't in Avaloran. On the next shelf, between other various travel books and biographies, was only one book by señor Agama, titled simply 'The Gecko's Tale'. Driven by a hunch she took it out and couldn't help but laugh when she read the blurb on the back. Although that explained how the whole kingdom found out that she's a bit adventurous too.
Finally her gaze got to the plant on top of the mantle. Hidden so deep in the room, it extended its ivy like stalks towards the sun, climbing a string helpfully hung between the bookshelf and the window.
Down on the windowsill two other plants looked out on the little cobbled square behind the house. Elena leaned in to smell the orchid and noticed something half hidden behind the pot. Slowly, so as not to accidentally damage the plant, she reached for trinket and retrieved it into the light. It turned out to be a wooden doll, painted to resemble a familiar navy and maroon uniform...
"Is this you?" She turned to Gabe as soon as he entered the room and showed him the figurine with a wide smile.
Gabe stopped for a moment. Furrowed his brows as he tried to see what Elena was even holding, and then furrowed his brows even more when he recognised it.
"Of course not," he grumbled, closing the small distance between them. "It's just an old thing anyway."
"It does look a bit like you though." She jumped away from him at the last moment.
Gabe gasped. Elen giggled and moved her hand away when he tried to reach her.
"Why would I even have a figurine of myself?"
For a moment they circled each other, like two lions judging if it's worthy to fight the opponent for a steak, except the steak was now wooden and 15 centimetres high. They both hunched subconsciously and made their steps in the fencing manner.
"I don't know, why does Esteban have a whole wall of his own portraits?" A sly grin slid on her face. "But I see you've decided to match his collection."
"Oh now you've done it." Gabe shook his head to hide his smile and in the split of a second was right by her. Feigning to go right for the prize, he swiped her legs out from under her.
Elena waved her hands in the air giving Gabe just the opportunity he was waiting for. He swiftly yanked the figurine from her hands, giving her the last push to fall backwards completely. He turned his head with a victorious grin, just in time to see her legs rising at the height of his knees. And suddenly the ground was much closer than before.
He folded his arms to his chest, protecting the figurine with his body and rolled on the floor. Though he didn't have to roll far, of which he was promptly reminded by his head crushing into the cupboard.
He groaned loudly and let his body fall limply to the floor.
His pained complaint was answered by Elena's laughter from the bed.
"I'm getting too old for this," he mumbled and Elena's laughter only got louder.
Finally he sat up and lifted the figurine to his face. He carefully examined it for any cracks or splinters, checked if the joints in the limbs didn't fall out and most importantly if the head was still on firm. Finally when he made sure the trinket didn't get damaged, he let out a relieved sigh.
"You're lucky it's still whole," he grumbled, rising to his feet.
"Hey, I was being careful." Elena now sat up too and sent him a playful smirk. "All the way until you decided to trip me like that."
Gabe rolled his eyes again and huffed in pretended annoyance.
"So if it's not a limited edition General Nuñez action figure," Elena continued. "What is it?"
Gabe sat down next to her and thought of an answer for a moment. He changed the position of the little soldier's arms and reached for a pin to put into his hand as a sword.
"It's really just an old toy," he said finally. "But you know, it has sentimental value."
He finally passed Elena the figurine, so she could take a look at it herself. It wasn't as old as she thought at first. The paint was faded, but still held onto the uneven surface of the wood and as she moved her fingers across it, she realized that it must've been all whittled by hand, by someone who put great care in it, but wasn't a professional.
Still the amount of details was impressive, especially in the construction of the thing. She moved the tiny soldier into the proper fencing position and to her delight found out that it fits flawlessly, the wire on the joints creaked quietly, as if it had been waiting for an opportunity to shine for ages.
She glanced between the figurine and Gabe on her left for comparison. The uniform, despite the familiar colours, was a tad different, it resembles more what she remembered from her childhood, than the uniform Gabe was wearing at the moment.
"I got it from my first fencing teacher," he continued.
"The same one who threw coconuts at you driving training?" Elena raised a brow, earning herself a chuckle.
"Yeah, the same one." A sad smile reached the corners of his eyes as old memories resurfaced in his memory. "He was a tough man and always talked about how big an annoyance I am, but -" he gestured to the figurine and shrugged.
"Well, that explains why it looks like you," Elena bumped him with her shoulder. "I'm sure he could've already seen that you'll be a great guard."
"Oh, I don't think he even wanted me to be a guard," Gabe laughed again. "But you know, the situation was a bit different." He pondered something for a moment before continuing. "And to be fair, I didn't even realize that it was supposed to be a guard at the time, I was pretty sure he just came up with the design by himself. I only really connected the dots a few years ago, when I found this old thing again."
Elena nodded silently and put a comforting hand on his arm. She could see that this topic wasn't easy for him.
"Though maybe what you said was the point." He straightened suddenly and his gaze went back to the figurine. "Maybe he wasn't completely against me joining the guard, just... joining the right one."
His smile became wider and it was like his whole face lit up. Elena raised the little soldier's arms to make it cheer. They both laughed at how expressive this piece of wood was.
"So where is your coach now?" Elena asked, caressing the wooden toy one more time.
He only sighed at first and for a moment his gaze became clouded again, before he shook his head to cast the memories away.
"I wish I knew," he sent her a sad smile. "One day he just... disappeared. A few trinkets and one letter is all the proof I have that he wasn't just my hallucination."
Elena's lips twitched in a matching sad smile, but before she could say anything, they both heard a voice from downstairs, calling the unmistakable word 'dinner!'
Gabe clapped his hands on his knees and sprung up to his feet.
"Ah, just in time", he extended his hand to Elena. "I think eating is a much more fun topic than discussing the weird things I did in my childhood."
Elena examined his face for a moment more, but gave up on asking all the questions that pushed to the tip of her tongue. She sent him a smile instead and accepted his hand.
"Oh, you mean you did more weird things?" She made the little figurine gasp.
"I feel like I shouldn't have started this topic," Gabe laughed.
"Oh no, you won't escape now." She poked him in the chest and put the little soldier in his hand. "I gotta know all the crazy stories."
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you something," Gabe raised his hands in defeat. "But you can't mention it to my parents, please, they'll never stop until they tell you my whole life story."
Elena made a theatrical gesture of tapping her lips in thought as she backed out of the room.
"I'll consider it," she sent him a wide grin and in a second turned and ran towards the stairs.
"Hey- wait!" Gabe called out, running right after her to save what was left of his reputation.
#my post#blue's writing#eoa#elena of avalor#gabriel nunez#gabe nunez#gabriel nuñez#gabe nuñez#elena castillo flores#gabe and elena#elena castillo flores & gabriel nuñez#elena and gabe#uuuuh#fanfiction#this is. completely unedited and written mostly in the middle of the night#so i just hope it makes sense XD#but i really wanted to write something and hey a great motivator came so why not seize the occasion#(probably because youre busy blue and should be sleeping instead but do you ever listen to yourself? no)#another day of wondering 'would they fucking say thay'#was this fic prompted by one scene of gabe fondly rolling his eyes at elena that i saw in an amv#maybe#anyway i hope this ficlet reaches the person who inspired it and i hope it brings you some joy :>#i may or may not continue it one day or at keast clean it up a bit and transfer it to ao3#my accounts been dead there for quite some time now#and back to the fic you guys have NO idea how proud i am od myself that its almost 2K#yes thats a lot for me#i considered whether im able to write those 74 more words but nope i gotta sleep#bonus: blanca and roberto downstairs hearing all the noise in gabes room and the sound of something heavy (gabe) hitting the floor#'remind me is our son 13 or 23' *fond exasperated sigh*#maybe i shouldve added to the note that this fic basically has no context huh
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#[whispering] is it worse when blogs go on a hiatus or when they just slowly slow their posts to an almost complete stop#asking for a friend 😁😁😁#lookin like i will not have time for this blog til……. like fuckin november#two months late to my own one year celebration lol#i’m quiet y’all are quiet the fandom be quiet cos it’s two years since new content#im still v much obsessed w steve tho lol#but u can tell the energy here (online in general) has died#i can’t tell if it would be more annoying to do a hiatus and then just post when i get the time and energy or to not bother w a hiatus#and just continue as is#sigh sigh sigh#much to think about#jay talks#delete later#still mourning my last piece 💔#she’s not dead i just wish i hadn’t freakin. sigh no i did wish i wrote her i just wish things had been done differently
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Since yuri is gonna get canceled, can we be yuri for the time being? I promise to not throw you into a river!!!!!!!!
*She stares flatly at you for several (painfully long) seconds before answering.*
... No.
Also, why would you feel the need to add that last bit? I trust you people approximately not at all to begin with, but that just... does not help your case. Ever.
#ooc: bet you'd reconsider if this was signed by (insert almost any of the female cast here) huh Kim#ooc: (she'd deflect by asking them why the fuck they're calling it that shfjsgdjf. unless it was Roxie. she'd take that from her at face +#+value.)#((ooc: actually she'd probably take knives calling sapphic relationships yuri at face value too but that would be a whole other can of +#+worms Kim CANNOT contend with rn 😭 she'd just take herself out back and provide somebody w bus fare- /hj))#pine.txt#asks#anon#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#not in standard continuity#spto continuity#ooc: genuinely though is the last bit a reference im not getting or are we being Silly rn#ooc: always looking for my yuri.... more wlw...... im so starved im wasting away.... (<- being dramatic. also remarkable well fed all +#+things considered)#ooc: if you saw the typo No You Did Not *cocks gun*#ooc: ... wait. my yuri? more yuri. i mean i am always looking for my yuri i suppose... in a sense...... *sighs wistfully and stares off +#+into the horizon* when will it be my turn to be *crosses out yuri* happy?
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sigh. im gonna have to fuck him bughead style arent i.........................
#🗞️#its been simply too long since ive had sex i need to fuck anyone whos available to me and the only person that is#my brain has already put in the unfuckable friendzone borderline family box.#and now im like. but would it be so bad......if we fucked just once........to put me out of my misery until i find someone more long term..#aka someone id fuck max 3 times and then look for another person to fuck max 3 times and the cycle continues...........#sigh dyke4fag sex back on the menu this time im not gonna ruin someones relationship but more like my own sanity bc i truly see him as my#fucking brother. whom i kissed once when we were 5 beers deep. and also we keep flirting. brother style
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I don't know why I sometimes make posts where I worry people haven't seen my posts. I haven't made as many lately, but I still make them occasionally. And I do realize that I probably don't make them solely because I'm worried nobody is seeing me (although that's definitely a contributing factor). No, I also think having this account has made me lazier with searching things up, but more attention seeking when it comes to my posts. I don't have any friends in real life besides my dad, so it's not hard for me to guess and say I might just express some really mild attention seeking behaviours here because of that. I don't know if there's actually any validity to that, but I definitely feel like there could be.
#I'm still a bit worried my new posts haven't been seen#but i don't know if that's just neuroticism or a desire for attention#I still wish tumblr would let me browse anonymously#but they probably never will#so maybe these behaviors will continue#sigh...#autism#asd#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#insecure#insecurity#neurotic#neuroticism#actually autistic#audhd#my thoughts#attention seeking#vent
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