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rorywritesjunk · 1 year ago

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I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start

Prequel to my Kid Buggy fic, set about 11-ish years before that story.

Buggy meets you by chance when he needs his buttons sewn back onto his jacket. He’s young, up and coming, and he thinks everyone should cower before him wherever he goes, but all you do is smile at him.

Rating: PG-13ish just for some swearing. Warning: Buggy’s in his early 20s. He’s an asshole. He just is because I wanted to write him loud, demanding, everything. There’s 3 new characters thrown in because why not? Future Wife gets a name as well! A/N: I have no idea when Buggy became a Captain, so he’s a fresh faced captain in this. No clue how long this fic will be. I just started on the 4th chapter but I’m excited to write it out! I had fun with the original fic and decided to write the prequel to how they met. Enjoy!

Also I have to go back to chapter 5 of my Kid Buggy fic since they talk most about their relationship beginnings in there, oops. I also wanted to write Buggy as the sort of "I'm a smooth operator until I'm not". And the Future Wife gets named in this chapter because I decided she needed a name.

Title comes from “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @ane5e @kingofthemfingpirates @the-angriest-angel @tiredemomama @valen-yamyam16 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @plethora-of-fickleness

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 + Chapter 16 + Chapter 17 + Chapter 18 + Epilogue

Chapter 3

You saw him again a month later. He really was popping by for every little thing now, and this time was no different. You were working on a dress for a customer while the girls were ironing and hemming other orders. When Buggy burst into the shop he paused for a brief moment when he saw you before marching up to the counter where your boss waited.

“What now?” She demanded. Buggy glared at her but he held his ground, not backing down from her.

“I… need something fixed.” He said, glancing in your direction briefly before pointing to his shoes. “My socks.”

“We don’t mend socks.” Your boss told him firmly. “Throw them out and get new ones.”

“You can’t fix them?!” He exclaimed. Miss Pins shook her head. Buggy took a deep breath, looking as though he was trying to think of something else. “Well, can you-”

“I can darn the socks.” You told him as you set your needle and thread down. Your boss glared at you, trying to tell you to sit down and stop helping this guy without speaking a word but you chose to ignore her. You pushed your chair back from the table and smiled at him. “But I’ll only do it if they’re washed. I assume you’re wearing them right now?”

Buggy turned red and looked away from you as he nodded. You chuckled softly and shook your head as you stood up. “Okay, come with me. Let’s get you taken care of.”

Your boss and coworkers watched as the pirate followed after you to the backroom like a little puppy follows his owner. Miss Pins was going to have words with the both of you about this: he needed to stop coming around and you needed to stop being nice to him. He wasn’t some stray you needed to keep feeding. He was a damn pirate who needed to get back on his ship and sail away. While it wasn’t uncommon for the shop to have repeat customers, he was a thorn in Miss Pins side since he first showed up. She did not like him one bit and she did not like the way he looked at you.

You had Buggy sit down and remove his shoes while you got the washing bin ready. Since one of the services was to clean customers' clothes for them, you saw no reason why you wouldn’t wash his socks before mending them. Buggy said nothing as he removed his socks and held them out to you, but you grabbed a bowl and had him set them in there. He frowned but did as you asked before leaning forward in his seat, watching you as he tried to tuck his feet under the chair.

“I never know when to expect you, Captain.” You told him as you mixed the cleaning solution into the bin. Once it was ready you grabbed the bowl and tossed his socks into the soapy water. “But I enjoy the surprise of you showing up.”

“Well, I have things that need to be mended.” He shot back as he turned red. It wasn’t like he was coming here on purpose to have you fix his things. “And this is the only place that caters to pirates and does a decent job.”

You glanced at him with a smile as you added a small agitator into the bowl, stirring up the water and socks to get them clean. “I’m glad you chose us then, Captain.”

“Buggy.” He mumbled, looking down at his feet. You frowned, not hearing him at first but he cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. “You can call me Buggy.”

“Oh.” You looked back at the water that was getting dirtier with each agitation. Calling him by his first name was a little personal. “Okay.”

“I… never learned your name.” He continued to mumble, looking incredibly uncomfortable and unsure of himself right then.

“That’s because I never told you.” Was your response as you pulled the socks from the water to wring them out. You set them aside and dumped the dirty water before refilling the tub with fresh water.

“Well, what’s your name then?” Buggy asked. “What should I call you?”

You winked at him and went back to cleaning the socks. “Whatever you want to call me, Buggy.”

He felt a small surge of courage right then as he now leaned back in his chair with a smirk. The chair tilted backwards, resting on two legs while the other two were inches off the ground. “Can I call you Babe?”

The courage left as soon as it arrived because you turned to look at him, face unreadable, and he lost his balance and tipped the chair backwards with him in it, his legs flying up and over, his torso separating from his body and landing beside him.

You just stared at him in shock for a moment before rushing over to grab his legs. This… was weird. Very weird. His body seemed to snap back together and he stared at you in horror. Was this something pirates were able to do, separate their body parts like that?

“Are you okay?” You managed to ask. “Buggy, your body-”

“I’m fine!” He snapped as he pulled away from you, embarrassed by what you saw. He didn't want you to see that, not yet when he was trying to get to know you. “Don’t to-”

You took his hat off his head and set it aside, ignoring his temper as you touched his head, feeling for any bumps from the fall. His entire body went rigid, eyes wide, almost fearful as you cupped his cheeks, looking into his eyes. You were just checking for injury, maybe a concussion from the tumble, but then you smiled with relief.

“You didn’t hit your head too hard it seems.” You said as you started to pull your hands back, but he grabbed you and your eyes widened when you saw his hands on your wrists but with no arms attached to them. “Buggy, are you okay?”

“What’s all this noise?” Miss Pins demanded as she came into the back, Livia and Edith following behind her. “I swear, if you two are fu-”

She stopped when she saw the two of you: Buggy on the ground with you kneeling over him with disembodied hands on your wrists. At least Buggy had the mind to look embarrassed by the situation while you just smiled at your boss as you explained what happened.

“Chair tipped back and he took a tumble, but he’s okay.” You told her as his hands returned to his arms. “Sorry if we were loud.”

Everything was okay for a moment, but you and Buggy both saw Livia lean over to Edith and not so quietly whisper, I guess his nose is real since it stayed on when he fell.

What if it’s glued on? Edith whispered back. I still think it's fake. No one has a nose like that.

He has a nose like that. Livia grinned as she glanced in his direction. I bet it honks.

Buggy didn’t even have the chance to react because you were scolding the teenagers for him; even Miss Pins had her arms crossed and was giving the apprentices both a look.

“Don’t talk about his nose, you two!” You snapped at them, friendly demeanor gone and replaced with a fierce protectiveness, startling the two of them and even Buggy. “Honestly! Apologize for being rude now! I cannot believe you both!”

“But-” Livia started to say but Edith cut her off.

“You’re not in charge!” The other teen exclaimed, looking up at Miss Pins. “He’s been nothing but rude to us since he first came here! Why do we have to be nice to him?”

“Because he’s a paying customer.” Miss Pins told her. “And he’s never been rude to you two, just me and Sunny, so you two apologize to the Captain now.”

The two looked at their caretaker before reluctantly looking back at Buggy. With the way you were glaring at them they knew they needed to apologize or else. The look of absolute fury in your eyes terrified them more than Buggy’s behavior had so far.

“I’m sorry.” They both said before you pointed to the door.

“Go clean the kitchen and start dinner, both of you.” You ordered. “You’ll also clean the kitchen again tonight after dinner.” You shook your head and sighed. “I’m so disappointed in the two of you.”

Livia and Edith’s jaws dropped and they looked at Miss Pins once more. She nodded in agreement with what you were saying. At this point she trusted you (kind of) to make certain decisions, and speaking about a customer like that in front of him was grounds for punishment. Both left the room, grumbling about it being unfair.

“Fix his socks and then he leaves, understand?” Miss Pins said. “And be quieter in here.”

You nodded, swallowing heavily as you tried to calm yourself down. It wasn’t often you got angry like that, but you were upset for him that they would say that in front of him like that. Your hands were shaking as you stood up, reaching out to pull him to his feet. He reluctantly allowed help, but as soon as he got to his feet he turned to head to the door but you held onto his hand.

“Buggy, wait.”

“What?!” He snapped as he turned to face you, cheeks burning from embarrassment. You were just a tailor, a shopgirl, you had no business being nice to him apart from getting paid for it. He didn’t need you coming to his defense when people made comments about his appearance, it happened enough that he always handled it with yelling and violence. No one ever apologized, and yet you had the two do it.

“I’m sorry.” You told him, giving his hand a squeeze. “They shouldn’t have said those things.”

Buggy stared at you for a moment. His brain was going a million miles a minute as he processed your words, the way you were looking at him with those kind eyes that minutes before were full of absolute fury. He felt your warmth through his gloved hand and he wondered if he should take it off so he could feel how soft your skin was. There was a brief flicker of familiarity of your words, but he couldn’t recall ever hearing someone say that before to him. It must have happened in a dream.

He finally jerked out of your grasp and grabbed his boots and hat before storming out of the backroom. Miss Pins looked up as he walked through the shop, eyebrow raised as she saw him carrying his boots, but she said nothing. Maybe he would finally stop coming around and being a nuisance after all this.

Except he would need to come back for his socks.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #buggy x oc #opla buggy x oc #buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy the clown x oc #sunny x buggy #one piece #one piece oc #one piece fanfiction

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marygih · 3 months ago

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My Stlaker

I think one of my most traumatic experiences on the internet was having a Stlaker for years.

I met him on the damned Amino app. At first he introduced himself as a friend who would give me art tips, and I, at 13, thought that was amazing. But obviously I didn't give him any important personal information about myself. We used to chat in a Telegram group. The group had 3 people, me, him and another boy who I later found out was another account of his, he pretended to be two people to talk to me. He would say strange things sometimes, but I took it as a joke. Things started to get weird when he told me: "I wish I had twin sisters like you." At first I laughed and said that my sisters weren't twins, they just had very similar names because my dad isn't very creative. But then I realized that I had never told him I had sisters. I had never shared my art account on Instagram, we only talked on Telegram and sometimes on Amino. I should have distanced myself from him after the first incident. But I already had some attachment to this guy.

His second mistake was when he randomly called me "my white" and that chilled me to the core. The only person who called me that was my father. I decided to analyze my sisters' social media to see if I could find him among their followers. He was somehow discovering things about my personal life. I didn't find him, but I found an old story of my sister's in a very old highlight where I appeared in the background and you could hear my father calling "my white, come here" and I would get up and walk out of view in the video. My "friend" had been spying on my sisters' social media a lot. I thought it was really weird and decided to nip it in the bud and deleted both Telegram and Amino. I just didn't know it was going to get much worse. He actually found my Instagram and for weeks fake accounts would send me messages. At first the messages would ask what had happened, then they would apologize, and then the next messages would be strange and aggressive. In some of them, he blamed my best friend for "poisoning me against him" and said he would make her pay dearly for it. In others, he literally harassed me, in others he said that I must be a lesbian and that's why I didn't like him, and that he could become trans to please me (this was getting so absurd that I was already scared). I didn't respond to any of the messages, I just read them and blocked the account. I made my Instagram private and removed strange followers to try to get rid of it, and he kept bothering me, he found my Pinterest account, sent me text messages, found my YouTube channel, I even received emails from this obsessed motherfucker. I created new social networks without photos and with completely different nicknames to get rid of him. But I didn't get rid of him.

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galacticxangel · 6 months ago

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Wait I saw your comment on the meeting your mutuals/stranger danger post. You said you married your mutual? That's so cute. Have you shared that anywhere and if not would you share it here?

I’m pretty sure I’ve shared it passively, but I never shared the full thing just on its own, so I’ll do that here!

So back in Ye Olde Days (13 years ago), Ask Blogs were a big thing on Tumblr, and also, so was Minecraft! And wouldn’t you know it, I was running a little Minecraft ask blog. And then I came across another, which had amazing art and characters and I adored what I was seeing, so I followed, they followed back, I sent little asks, and we communicated that way! The blog I found was run by two people, @cosmic-anchor (Silvia), and her friend Lazzy (boyo where’s your blog). He’s still a mutual bestie today, as are a few other folks we met via ask blog shenanigans, like @knightlymoon and @ragnarode .

ANYWAY. We get to playing on a server together (we actually use a Minecraft version release date as our meeting anniversary, because it was right around the prerelease of Beta 1.8: September 9, 2011. How do we remember? Well, that’s when they released Endermen! And anyone familiar with Minecraft aakblogs knows just how popular those are today. But back then? HOLY crap. Everyone and their grandma has a Sexy Broody Enderman or a Sexy Broody Enderman Hybrid. It was. A lot), take to each other like a church on fire, and become besties! We have a little house together.

Long time passes, and we’re on pretty much daily communication, still playing games, etc. I went through basic training and she was one of the folks I sent letters to while I was there. We played D&D together (This was an entire fiasco where we lost one bestie due to an abusive relationship. She’s back now tho! Love you Lynn <3). Even in the military, when I got DEEPLY depressed, she was there for me and helped me out (I credit her for being alive today. I’m not sure I’d be here if she hadn’t talked me down and convinced me to see a mental health specialist). I get out of the military, get my own little apartment, and go ‘wait a minute. I can do what I want. I have a best friend I’ve known for like six years now. Let’s invite her down!’ And so we start planning our first

‘Down’ is an understatement. See, I live in Texas. She lives in Kentucky, literally a thousand miles away. And while I’ve got all my documents and paperwork and driving skills and travel under my belt, she… doesn’t. As the older sibling of a special needs person, and not from a very high income household, she didn’t have this stuff. So it’s up to me, and I’m too fired up about taking my bestie to a renaissance faire (yah we. Really nerdy lol) to consider anything but!

We get her costume ready. Her plane tickets. Her ids and everything, sorted. It comes to like. Two weeks before the flight. And I get a call at work. It’s Via. Now, this is weird. Over the years, we’ve kinda fallen into a system. Common communication falls into just a message (Skype at the time iirc, Discord didn’t exist just yet). Something kinda urgent gets you an alert ping (like @ing someone). Dire is a call. And my phone’s ringing.

Not good.

So I hurriedly excuse myself from the office to take it, and she’s in tears. Her dad’s gotten cold feet, and won’t take her to the airport like he promised because ‘what if I’m an internet predator’. I mean. I get it. I have a Southern Style family, too (This will come up later). But damn it, she’s an adult. We’re BOTH adults. Also, I just bought a round trip plane ticket! Also, at this point I know more about her than he does. He still thinks she’s straight. But he won’t take her because we’ve never met face-to-face.

It’s Wednesday. I look at my office door. I have my best friend, current queerplat partner on the line, sobbing apologies.

“Hey. Tell him to pick a place to eat. Dinner on Friday. My treat, okay?”

“What?”

“Tell him to pick a place for dinner on Friday. I’ll see you then.”

Thus begins the trek that cements me as ‘most unhinged friend when others need something’ in our friend group to the day. I go into my office, spinning a sob story about how some nondescript family member just passed and funeral and blah blah I need to go but I’ll be back on Monday.

Green light acquired.

I go home, and immediately go to sleep. I wake up around midnight, pack my bags into my little Kia, and off I go. 1000 miles. Now, remember when I said my family would come up later? Here’s later: I didn’t tell them. There was NO WAY they were going to just sit idle while I drove a thousand miles, ALONE, to meet someone I’d never met in person. I’d never driven quite that far, either. Not to say no one knew, I would plot two hours on my gps, send the path to Lazzy and Via, and check in when I hit the next stop. If I didn’t check in, they were told to call my parents if I was over an hour late. Which, obviously, I never was, because I’m typing this and not like, dead or anything.

I roll up to her local Cracker Barrel at 8pm on Friday, after easily one of the best experiences of my life (was out between cities on a clear, late summer night, got to see the Milky Way for the first time, got ‘adopted’ by a bunch of truckers at a truck stop I paused for a nap at). My hair’s a bit frizzy and I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘Watch Closely: I’m About To Do Something Stupid’. But her dad gets the firmest, friendliest Texan handshake I can give, and a bright smile.

Apparently, he never expected me to show. According to Via, I humbled him that day. I don’t pay for dinner, despite offering. I even stay the night.

She’s on a plane for Texas two weeks later.

(Bonus: it’s at the point I send a picture of the big ol ‘Welcome To Kentucky’ state line sign to my parents. This. Was not a good idea lol. But I had my big Texas meat swangin my ego and I was damn proud to be functionally unhinged. My dad scolds me and then gets me a hotel room in Little Rock, DEMANDING I stop half way on the way back. My mom calls me, yells at me, and then hangs up on me. Calls back an hour later to apologize because she wasn’t mad I went, she was mad that I was right when I told her ‘you’d have tried to stop me’. Ultimately fine, in the end).

There’s at least one other travel adventure (much easier this time! We were supposed to go to PAX South but were too lazy that morning so we ate pizza and played video games.

I move out of my apartment and start renting a house. I have extra room. And I think about my friend, who’s only left her tristate area twice now, both because of me. And I think ‘that’s my best friend! I wonder if she wants to move down here!��

Another 2k miles on my poor little Kia (who’s STILL KICKING BTW), and she now lives in Texas. This was about five years ago. We live in my little granny house that’s older than both occupants combined. You heard that right, though. Oh my god, We Were Roommates.

It’s about this time that apparently Via starts Getting The Feelings but BLESS HER she’s being SO GOOD because at this point I’m defining as Aro/Ace. Turns out it was just some anxiety/aversion because my previous relationship was turbo unhealthy! But I really like this chick, and I’m like ‘you know what, I’m scared I’ll mess up our friendship, but I’ll try these things. We already go on ‘dates’ and I buy you flowers occasionally just because I was thinking of you and we already snuggle every night because it helps us go to sleep’ yeah I was. Hm. Dense.

Anyway it takes off HARD and within the year, we’re married on the coast where I took her to see the ocean for the very first time, on September 9, 2023.

Our first anniversary is soon. 💕

#Wife Posting #MINECRAFT LESBIANS BAYBEE

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saltygilmores · 2 years ago

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 13 ("A Tisket A Tasket") Part 5, I Give Up

Just for funsies here's Jess calling Dean an idiot and Idiot admitting it.

Before I continued to slog through this absolutely mind numbing DALA (Dean and Lorelai Affair) episode, I uttered 6 words that I hope won't come back to bite me in the ass: "This can't possibly get any worse." Ahahahahahaha. There are 14 minutes left in the episode. I'm fucked. I've been on this one way too long and I'm determined to finish this. I'm just going to enjoy this Literati on a Bridge break. I'm going to my happy place where Dean doesn't exist and Rory is an orphan because Lorelai (and Chrisopher) don't exist and every episode is just 45 minutes of this.

"I'm so much happier here." R: "Why were you screwing with Dean an hour ago but you're suddenly being nice to me?" J: "Well it's the screwing with Dean that's an important step to getting here so I could be nice to you."

Ugh he took the fucking Quarter On A String so now I have to suffer through that fucking Lost and Found episode. God damn it Mariano! Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?

Did I mention that he is so pretty. I'm legally obligated to say that at least twice per Jess Episode. After Rory and Jess part ways, we cut to Rory returning home with a bag from the bookstore and Lorelai immediately shifts full gear into Weirdly Suspicious & Passive Aggressive Mode. When Rory admits she visited a bookstore and had a slice of pizza with Jess (oh the horror!) then goes to her room, Lorelai immediately shuffles her passive aggressive, suspicious little feet right in after her. 90% of the time that Lorelai and Rory meet to talk on their couch after Rory has just departed from the company of Dean or Jess, especially at night or at the end of the episode, it means Lorelai is about to dish out some horrible, horrible wisdom/life coaching. The Couch is where we have witnessed many classic mother-daughter bonding moments, such as the time Lorelai asked Rory to make sure Jess got his rabies shots before she slept with him. Ah, the couch.

Mmmm yep. *collects money*

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. Here we go. I think it was the great Michael Scott who once said, Why are you the way you are? Honestly, every time I try to enjoy something fun or exciting, you make it...not that. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Ya know, I stan Rory more and more lately with how she stands up for Jess. Sorry your mom's a bitch. How many more tmes I can rant into The Void about Lorelai's unhealthy grudge with Jess? How many more times can I point out that Lorelai has only had one prolonged interaction with Jess, while she's known Dean twice as long and he's been rude and used a condescending tone of voice with her many times, including the first time they met (on Willy Wonka night) and it literally just happened again moments ago. It's just mindblowing to me how she will not let this FUCKING GO and SIXTEEN years later in AYITL when she is married to his uncle she is STILL making digs at him over him being rude to her when he was 17, joking about how he should have a baseball thrown at his head.

I honestly don't think I could love Rory Gilmore more at this point. Bless her rationality and sweet heart and cute rose sweater that looks like a swirl of that strawberry icing you squeeze over instant oatmeal. Are you witnessing a historical moment right now? The birth of a Rory Stan? Sort of. It won't last forever, but since I won't go past season 4 anymore, then yes.

The "things she's seen and heard" are just her regurgitating what Dean told her 5 minutes ago. LOL. She just took this kid's word as gospel, without even questioning it. The DALA is so fucked up, man! Lorelai is way too concerned with the lives of teenage boys! If Dean told Lorelai to jump off a bridge would she do it?

I really wish this were my gritty unrated Gilmore Girls spinoff titled The Hollow because I would have someone on this show actually acknowledge that Jess is honestly something of a miracle. His father abandoned him as a newborn, he had a tumultuous, negligent, inconsistent, possibly even abusive upbringing. His mother drank while she was pregnant with him. He grew up watching unsavory men in his mother's life circle in and out like a revolving door (according to Liz The Worst, one of them even died). Yet he doesn't turn to any real crime, drugs, alcohol, or even sex (okay, well bless his heart he tries there but people seem to cockblock him at every turn). HE SKIPS SCHOOL TO WORK AT WALMART. In real life kids like that are really lucky if the worst path they go down after that kind of chilhood merely involves them stealing loose change from an old fucknugget like Taylor Doose who deserves to be stolen from anyway. That bridge should have been fixed 10 years ago. Here's some of the train wreck. There were no survivors.

If Dean needs someone to talk to that badly he can get a diary or a dog or a sock puppet or like, one fucking friend his own age. I think half of the issues of this show could be solved if these people had more friends. Can't Taylor Doose swing some kind of town wide Bid-A-Friend Auction? Or emotional support animals?

Sure but like, did you ever stop to think that you and Dean are actually his only "enemies" and it's completely one sided because he couldn't care less about you, and also, your enemy is a 17 year old boy and you're a full grown adult lmao. Crazy lady. I wonder how Jess feels knowing he's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to a town full of boring nobodies who will go nowhere and do nothing while he will eventually makes millions of dollars from his best selling novels that get turned into blockbuster movies. Maybe someone will even make a movie about his life. I'm going to think about who could play Milo/Jess in a movie about himself while Lorelai yammers on and remains in denial about how insane she is. What do you think? Lorelai says Rory is "So young and naive, so nice and gives everyone a chance"; what she's really saying is "Jess doesn't deserve a chance, not even from you." I stoppped watching at this point and only skimmed a few more seconds. I saw that Rory stormed off, Lorelai and Rory fight over it at FND, Emily is confused, Lorelai says "I didn't like Dean at first because I didn't know him, I don't like Jess because I know him." You know what, there are times when this show starts to get my under my skin so much that I’m just not enjoying it and there’s no point in finishing the episode. In conclusion, Lorelai sucks and ruins everything and my number one Hill To Die On will continue being that Dean and Lorelai are sleeping together because there is no other logical explanation possible for why she talks about him like this. Goodnight!

Edit: guys, sorry that I was so enraged with Lorelai The Worst that I managed to gloss over the fact that Rory and Jess went on a Book Shopping and Pizza PRE-DATE 😍😍😍😍 THEIR FIRST ONE!

In my Gilmore Girls spinoff The Hollow we would see every minute of every Pizza and Book date and pre-date I promise you this 🥰 No skimping!

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #a tisket a tasket #a-tisket a-tasket #literati #rory gilmore #jess mariano #Lorelai Gilmore #ARRRRRGHHH #RAGE #BUT A PRE DATE #I CANT WAIT FOR THEIR HOT DOGS AND RECORD SHOPPING PRE-DATE

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nehswritesstuffs · 2 years ago

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Visiting Home

Sometimes you just have to write something super-fcking depressing and, well, this is what I came up with this time.

4348 words; I might rework this sort of a situation into something else later, but for now, this is a version of said events; gotta love these comfort characters that have never experienced any comfort in their lives; very strong content warning for death, referenced genocide, and an abandoned war zone, with descriptors of what one might find there; I actually cried while writing this so please forgive me if there’s more than the usual amount of mistakes (I’m okay, just, damn); set when Law is 17, Shachi is 18, Penguin is 19, and Bepo is 13

Visiting Home; Law wants to go back to Flevance to run some tests on the remaining Amber Lead, though the excursion turns into another sort of thing entirely. [canon compliant]

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You want us to go where?!”

Law casually glanced up from his book and looked at Shachi, who was staring at him with his jaw dropped open. Penguin wasn’t too far away with two plates of food in his hands, while Bepo was attempting to cower behind him.

“Flevance,” Law repeated. “I want to test the area.”

“I thought you said that the entire country was a mess of poison,” Penguin said. He put the plates down on the table and raised an eyebrow at his captain. “You want us to go into that?”

“Not all of you—someone has to stay with the Tang—but I would like at least one other to come along and help with the tests.” He accepted his plate from Penguin and looked at his crew with a raised eyebrow. “What…?”

“Cap, we know it’s the land that…” Shachi hesitated, trying to find the right words. “Listen, we know what happened there. How can you be so sure we’ll be alright?”

“I now know how to scan our bodies for Amber Lead. Any buildup, no matter how minute, will get scraped out of us upon our return to the Tang. At least my aim’s better now than when we first met.” Law took a bite of food—Penguin was getting really good at this cooking business—before continuing. “We are uniquely situated to be able to run scientific experiments without any lasting due harm that others might acquire.”

“…and why do you want to go in the first place?” Penguin asked. “I feel like it wasn’t that long ago you said that you never wanted to go back.”

“I want to see what seven years of dormancy has done to the area, and what that could have on a potential cleanup campaign.” Law then shrugged awkwardly. “I want to see what’s left.”

“If there’s anything at all,” Penguin reminded him. He saw his friend’s—no, his captain’s—gaze unfocus as they ate and something deep in him hurt. “Will you be alright doing that?”

No reply.

“I have the course set already,” Bepo offered quietly. He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and flattened it out on the table. “It won’t be too far removed from any other populated places, so we can stock up before we go so that we have enough supplies to quarantine properly.” Law shot him a glare and he cringed. “Sorry; I know it’s not contagious, but it’s essentially a quarantine while we figure everything out. We could be idle in port for ages.”

“That’s true,” Shachi shrugged. “Though we can’t tell anyone else where we’re going. You got an alternate we can tell nosy shits in the meantime?”

“We’re coming from Spider Miles, but are headed to Reverse Mountain,” Bepo offered. “There’s an island close to Reverse Mountain that we could supposedly use as our only stop if we go that route. It’s the best option no matter where we stop at.”

“Then we’ll do it,” Penguin agreed, “only if you promise us you’re really okay with this. Don’t make yourself suffer because of this.”

Law nodded into his food and his crew knew it was a bald-faced lie.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Slowly, carefully, the Polar Tang made her way through the fjord that gave the White City access to the sea. Shachi and Bepo both took turns steering, doing their best to maneuver in the wreck-filled waters. Everything was covered in a sheen of Amber Lead, making it nearly impossible to tell what was a shipwreck or garbage or a natural port feature.

“I don’t want to look at anything white for a whole month after we’re done with this,” Penguin scowled. He looked at his friend sitting in the captain’s chair, seeing how intense his stare was on the monitors. “You sure it’s alright to do this?”

“It is—just trust me.”

“You might be the captain, but you know I am the oldest and I will beat your ass if I think it’s what’s best.”

Law did not answer, his gaze unbroken.

“’Kay… right…” Penguin looked over Shachi’s shoulder and looked at the varying blips on the radar. “At least we’re nearly at the shore. Captain, do you want me to get the coveralls ready?”

Law grunted in response, which Penguin took as an affirmative. He stalked out of the control room and went to the topmost internal room, where there was a box that had been thrown haphazardly by the door. Pulling out the contents, he inspected the coveralls for any tears and the boots for any cracks. They all had gasmasks and gloves as well, which he finished checking as the Polar Tang broke the surface, a world of white opening up before him.

Growing up, Penguin had grown up hearing about the glistening White City and the horrors that had taken place there. Shachi’s aunt and uncle used the place as a threat if they didn’t get what they wanted; the idea that they could have been tied up at night and dumped in the disease-infested city to die was not only a solid motivator to kids that didn’t know any better, but also a great way to create a light sleeper. Nothing could really prepare him for the sight, however, even with Law’s whispered stories and watching him tear the Amber Lead from his body.

The entire city was a charred ruin—it didn’t look like it had been a Buster Call, from what he could imagine, but it was close. There was evidence of a grand port that the ship inched ever closer towards, yet everything felt hollow, felt haunted. The Tang went close to the wharf as it could and stopped, idling gently as the rest of the crew made an appearance.

“So this is it, huh?” Shachi marveled. He and Penguin both began to pull blue coveralls over their clothes despite the fact they were unable to take their eyes off of Flevance. “It’s… the stories don’t do it justice.”

“Nothing does anymore,” Law said, staring out the window. He bit his bottom lip and exhaled heavily before looking away—this wasn’t something he could avoid for much longer. “Once we open this door, we’ll have exactly three hours, got that? I don’t want to base my findings on any additional exposure until we know precisely what’s still going on out there.”

“Don’t push yourselves,” Bepo insisted. He was chosen to stay by the other three, based on the fact he both could steer the ship should the rest of them fall out of commission, as well as the fact he was still technically a kid—a very tall kid with three adoptive overprotective brothers. “I’ll have the snail on; call me if anything happens!”

“We shall,” Law promised. He accepted a set of coveralls from Penguin and began to suit up, trying his best to not continue looking at the ruins on the shore. “Let’s be ready to go in five minutes—time to do a supply check.”

“Aye, aye,” Shachi saluted, checking the packs. By the time he made certain all the equipment was secured, the others were ready. They pulled on their gas masks and shooed out a tearful Bepo before opening the door and stepping out into the world of char and white.

The three teens made landfall easily, tying their dinghy up on the remnants of the most solid-looking of the piers. Neglect and the elements made the wharf precarious and suddenly they were really glad they left the heaviest of their number on the ship. They made it to solid ground and began to wander about the eerily empty streets—the timer was already ticking.

“So, any idea on where you want to first gather data?” Shachi asked. He and Penguin were following Law as the young captain carefully went through the streets. “I know it’s been a bit, but…?”

“Right now I want to see if there are any victims’ remains,” Law stated. His voice was muffled through the rubber of his gas mask and their covered ears, but he couldn’t stop them from hearing the waver in his voice. “To do that, we need to find the most intact buildings or areas where there might be hiding places. I doubt there’s much left, but anything that is shall be valuable.”

“What about stuff made with Amber Lead?” Penguin wondered. “What do you want to take?”

“Probably things like paint chips, teaspoons—things that are light and easy to transport. Depending on the compositions we might be able to come back for more later.”

“Do you really think there’s going to be another round of this?”

“There might be—who knows?”

As Law led his crew through the city, the two older teens grew increasingly uncomfortable with their surroundings. Their captain would often head into a house without warning, going past doors marked with crosses in chalk and paint and finding the chaos surrounding an interrupted wake. Bodies petrified by poison were popping up everywhere and it was beginning to make Penguin and Shachi sick to their stomachs; it might have been seven years, but the smell was still there.

Suddenly, Law stopped walking and stared down the street.

“What’s the matter?” Penguin wondered. He tapped at his wristwatch. “We’ve got to get back to Bepo soon and get to work on these analyses.”

“Not to mention the fact I really got to take a piss,” Shachi grimaced. Law didn’t answer, instead feeling a gentle tug near his navel, something wanting him to head down the street…

“You’re right—we spent too much time spreading out to keep going,” he said eventually, shaking the sensation from him. “Next time we need to go further… there’s some place I need to go.”

“…your house…?” Penguin wondered cautiously.

“No. The hospital.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

In the infirmary, Law sheathed the knife and dropped the Room, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He looked at his two friends sitting before him and offered them a wan smile.

“Nothing—not even a trace.”

“Really…?” Shachi marveled. “Not a lick of anything?”

“Are we safe?” Bepo asked from the door. Law rolled his eyes and went to the counter, where some of the items they took were already going through experiments to extract the Amber Lead.

“There’s no evidence of Amber Lead buildup in our bodies,” Law replied idly. “Next time I think we can stay for longer and with less protective equipment.”

“Why the fuck would we want to do that?” Penguin snorted. “I feel like we just chanced luck and survived beyond the odds.”

“Maneuverability, comfort, ease in communication—gas masks aren’t like surgical masks and require much of the face to be blocked and constrained. We should be able to ditch them and function like normal, just in coveralls and boots.”

‘…and look less like them,’ Law thought privately, his memory quickly going to when the White City fell. He would never tell them, but there had been a couple times he had seen Shachi and Penguin while they were out and he nearly thought he was a child again and they were there to kill.

“Will we still need at least the surgical masks?” Penguin wondered.

“That depends on what I find in the gas masks’ respirators; I have reason to believe that there might be active and latent poisoning phases to the Amber Lead. The buildup in my body was due to generations-long active poisoning, where it was newly-mined and the chemical activation was still fresh. Now, however, it could be that the chemical reaction with the air has been ongoing so long that it’s stale and only leeches poison once in a great while. Enough latent poisoning could be as dangerous as active poisoning in large enough concentrations, but the rate of chemical decay is what has me curious.”

“So… like burrito farts,” Shachi decided. Law glared at him, unimpressed. “Hear me out: there’s an active phase, where we’re all farting because the burritos were that good, but as time goes on, they get less and less, but they still smell like burrito farts.” The young captain did not dignify that with an answer and went back to the experiment. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

He wasn’t right, but he wasn’t wrong either.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Soon as his foot touched land the next day, something was calling to him.

Law didn’t entirely understand the sensation; it was the same as the day prior, pulling him inland in the direction of the hospital. He frowned and looked over at Penguin and Shachi, all three teens foregoing the masks this time.

“We’re going further in this time,” he explained before adjusting the pack on his shoulder. “There’s something I want to look for.”

“You said the hospital, right?” Shachi asked. Law nodded. “Is it far?”

“Not very… I don’t think.” He began to walk along the disused boulevard, not waiting to see if the other two were following. “My legs were a lot shorter last time I walked from the port to the hospital.”

“This place still gives me the creeps,” Penguin shivered. “I’m obviously here, but I will not be sad when we get out of here for good.”

“More walking, less sass,” Law warned. They walked past all the businesses and residences that they wandered around in the day before, heading deep into the heart of the city. Penguin and Shachi stayed silent, instead exchanging looks between bouts of watching their captain, wondering what exactly was coming next.

The hospital, or what was left of it, looked like anything but a place of healing. Parts were completely hollowed out by fire and the elements, left to rot like the rest of the city. The pull Law was experiencing was stronger now—he wasn’t sure now if he wanted to see what it was. He had to, however; he needed to know.

Stepping across the threshold of the front door, Law took a deep, shuddering breath as he tried to remember the way through his childhood home. Half-decomposed bodies and bones with clothes littered the corridors, remaining where they fell after being killed so mercilessly. Bullets were lodged in bones and walls, showing the mercilessness of the soldiers despite the years that had passed.

“You alright?” Penguin asked, clapping his hand on Law’s shoulder. The younger teen nodded slightly.

“Yeah. Let’s… uh… turn down here…”

“Was this the wing where they held advanced cases?”

“Kind of.”

Silently, Penguin and Shachi followed Law as he went up a flight of stairs and navigated a labyrinthine corridor without so much as pausing to look at the wall plaques. Fire had not touched this part of the hospital as severely as the others, making it so that it seemed relatively safe in comparison. The interior lights flickered above—never turned off and never disconnected from the hydro generator—and poorly illuminated the doorway the young captain stopped by.

“Oh, fuck…” Shachi grimaced, looking at the name plaque next to the ajar door. “Your parents’ office…?”

“No,” Law said. He took a step forward, stopping only when Penguin grabbed his upper arm.

“You don’t have to do this. We can still turn around and get the fuck out of here. Pretend there was nothing here…”

Law walked out of Penguin’s grip and through the door, entering the familiar reception office. Everything seemed frozen in time—the calendars, décor, the dated newspapers and magazines—nearly as though they had walked into his memories. The only evidence that there was anything wrong was the open doorways into the inner rooms.

With the first step into the internal corridor, the wooden flooring creaked under his weight, sending a surge of nostalgia through Law. He could almost hear his sister laughing, nearly see their parents down by their lab… it was chilling, in a way, knowing that had there been nothing wrong—no Amber Lead poisoning—this would more than likely be where he was still living.

“This doesn’t feel right,” Shachi shivered. He followed Law as he went into one of the rooms, seeing that it was a child’s bedroom. “Did you… did you live here…?”

“I did,” Law confirmed. It was eerie seeing his old room, like stepping into a dream. He picked a textbook up off the desk and flipped through it—fuck, it had seemed like such difficult material back then…

“Why did you live in the hospital?” Penguin wondered. “Were any of you sick… you know… before…?”

“No; that’s just what the hospital did,” Law said. “It was an incentive to keep talent employed and at the ready. We not only lived here, but if we wanted, there could have been someone from the janitorial staff to come in and clean for us, and my parents would have not had to cook if they didn’t want to… some nights they didn’t and we ate at the cafeteria instead. Food was decent, if you’ll believe it.”

“So, you were fucking rich.”

“We all were rich—doctors, janitors, food service, secretaries, management—everyone at first benefited from the riches that Amber Lead brought. People in Flevance worked because they enjoyed working—we did what we were talented at… what we loved to do…” Law pulled an old stuffed animal from a shelf and held it close—it almost smelled like it did before. “We knew it too—people came from all over the North just to live and work here…”

“…which is why the poisoning was as scary as it was, I imagine,” Penguin frowned. “Fuck… how many people around here didn’t show any symptoms? Do you remember?”

“Few; the reason they were all non-native Flevench gave my parents the first hint it was possibly an environmental factor.” Law then left his room for the time being and went into another, this one clearly a medical lab. He looked at the notes that were half-finished on a countertop, analyzing what progress had been made. A choked laugh escaped him as he realized what he had in his hand. “Shit—they were so close too.”

“Cap, let’s get out of here,” Penguin said, refusing to go past the lab doorway. “I don’t like it here—it feels wrong.”

“I’m sure it’s psychosomatic, considering what has been drilled into you all these years,” Law replied. Penguin knew it wasn’t a condemnation, but a fact his captain had learned to live with. Everyone was creeped out by Flevance because of the horrors that were told over and over and over, with little mention of the good they did, and a societal-level brainwashing was a very difficult thing to counteract.

“Law, this is a hospital full of corpses and we’re the only living people in the entire fucking country… it’s a little more apparent than a bit of mental shit.” Penguin watched as his eyebrows furrowed in thought. “What now…?”

“I thought they were in here,” he said. He looked around the floor; there was blood and broken medical equipment, but not his parents. “Everything was such a blur, but I thought they were in here when they were killed.”

A weight dropped in Penguin’s stomach. “They were…?”

“I think it’s a little more complicated than that,” Shachi sniffled. Penguin looked down the corridor to see their third standing by another door, tears streaming down his face. Law popped his head out and looked at Shachi, his face going white.

Lami.

Pushing past Penguin, Law ran down to the other end of the corridor and stumbled into his little sister’s room. All his breath left him as his eyes were drawn to Lami’s bed, which was occupied by three figures. He didn’t need to tell his crewmates who they were—it was apparent as it was gut-churning. Law’s legs gave out and he fell to his knees as he heard Penguin finally vomit in the corridor.

“Law…?” Shachi’s voice seemed so far away as he tried to shake the younger teen into paying attention. “Law…? Captain…?” Law shook as he snapped from his daze, nearly falling over as he stood. “Hey, come on man… it’s okay. They at least went together.”

It was true. Based on the position of the corpses and the amount of dried blood in the clothes and bedding, it looked like the adults knew there was no ambiguity to their situation. They wanted to be together as they died and now all that remained was bones and hair and the calcified lesions that would have killed them had the bullets not. His parents chose their last moments to comfort his sister, his mother holding Lami while his father held her. One arm was at an awkward angle—he must have stroked her hair as they went, just as Law remembered him doing to him and Lami whenever he held them.

«I made it,» he blurted out in a language he never spoke around others. «I’m still alive, and I’m fighting, and I’m going to make sure the world knows! It might only be me left, but as long as I’m still here, Flevance lives!»

Silence.

Everything came crashing down on Law all at once. His homeland, his parents, his sister… they were all gone. Emotions he hadn’t felt in years flooded him and he started to sob hysterically. Penguin and Shachi looked at one another, unsure what to do; it wasn’t like one of his nightmares where all he needed was to be woken up. No, it was much worse than that. Eventually, Penguin let him cry into his shoulder, while Shachi gently rubbed circles on his back.

“Hey,” Shachi whispered, “let’s take care of them. We can at least do that.”

Unable to reply verbally, Law nodded as he rubbed his eyes and nose with a blue coverall sleeve. His face was contorted into a painful grimace and the best sound he could make was a couple squeaks. Penguin went and began carefully taking Law’s father and arranging him to be carried in his lab coat, Shachi did the same with Law’s mother, and Law himself wrapped his sister up, carrying Lami as they made their way back through the hospital into the central courtyard, which was open and filled with grass and young tree shoots. Law was left alone to say goodbye as his crewmates found some shovels and began to dig. They returned to his side when they had three holes, having dug them side by side.

“Do you want to put them all in, or…?” Penguin asked cautiously. Law nodded, still clutching Lami’s bundle close to his chest.

“Yeah,” he croaked out. “It’s my duty as… as the one who survived.”

The two elder teens stepped aside and knelt respectfully in the grass while Law placed the remains in their new resting places. He placed his sister in the middle and his parents on either side, like they were in her room, muttering words his crew could only figure were Flevench prayers the entire time. From his sister, he took her bracelet; from his mother, the pendant around her neck; from his father, his eyeglasses; and from both parents, their wedding rings. He held the items in his hands and cried in more of the alien language, trembling furiously by the time Shachi and Penguin came over to fill the dirt back over the bones.

“Let’s go get some stuff,” Penguin decided. He was not envious of Law’s pain, but still wondered what it would have been like to have a family that cared about him to draw out that reaction. “You know: pictures, trinkets, books, things of theirs you want to keep. Then we can leave… and leave for good.”

“She’s Bepo’s age, you know,” Law replied, staring at the middle mound. “She should be a teenager like us…”

“Come on, Cap,” Shachi replied, gently tugging at Law’s elbow. “Let’s go.”

His head too filled with cotton fluff to think, Law allowed himself to be pulled back through the hospital by his crew, the trio heading back to the family quarters so they could search through the Family Trafalgar’s things and figure out what to bring along. By the time they were leaving, they had a few albums’ worth of photos, some additional small items, his father’s spare lab coat, and books that contained snippets of research done by both of Law’s parents. Penguin and Shachi knew they were going to sneak back later to bring some more books along—especially the volumes of Sora translated into Flevench—and so concentrated on getting their captain out of there.

They were nearly out, however, when something began to pull at Law’s senses again, causing him to go off on his own in the hospital corridors. Shachi and Penguin followed him, too scared to even protest as he found their way to the hospital director’s office.

“What’s in here?” Penguin asked. “Were you here often?”

“No, never,” Law admitted. Whatever it was that pulled at him drew him towards the wall where a sword sat in a stand. The weapon was long, with crosses on the scabbard and what nearly looked like fur covering the guard.

Take me with you.

Law blinked.

You wish to make what is wrong with the world burn. Let me help you.

Take me with you.

Free me.

The sword radiated malice as he lifted the weapon from its stand and eased it from its sheath. It glinted in the late afternoon sun, humming with pleasure.

My name is Kikoku—use me well child and your ends will be met with satisfaction, for I too crave the death of those who harmed our caretakers.

“Hey… can we get back to the ship now?” Penguin wondered. “Bep’s got to be worried sick.”

“Yeah,” Law said. He sheathed Kikoku and slung it over his shoulder, putting it at an angle so it did not drag. “Let’s get back.”

Trafalgar D. Water Law stepped out of his childhood home for the final time and silently swore to whatever listened that he was going to have his revenge.

#Heart Pirates #Trafalgar Law #Penguin One Piece #Shachi One Piece #Bepo #One Piece #fan fiction #time to bake that bread as wee raisin would say #there is so much fcking angst in this omg #and yes I genuinely started to cry #Trafalgar D. Water Law

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kairithemang0 · 5 months ago

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Tomorrow it's been a year. A year since he was here. So, lets talk about all the things he did <3 gonna get a little tmi but I need this off my chest because I'm finally realizing the gravity of the situation and maybe I'm just overdramatic but honestly, I'm so over it at this point I want to wrap it all up in a nice little bow and never think about it again

One year to when he kissed me, when he turned on the food network incase we "made too much noise". he was 17, I was 14. Just found out about this now but a year before he asked my cousin to have sex with him because "they were basically both adults" (both 16 at the time). He was into my friend, he actively talked about how much he loved her when i was having a panic attack, after he kissed me he said she was just so damn cute (they met in person for the first time that day). He told me I was a bad friend because I said that him practically begging an aroace person to date him wasn't a good idea and then getting pissed when they broke up with him, refusing to talk to me after i tried to comfort him, saying a loved and cared about him. he ghosted me for 3 days after, he didn't come online that entire time and when he came back he begged me not to be mad at him, said he loved me with all his heart and wanted to be with me and be there for me. He asked me to break up with my partner, a partner I cared about, a partner I adored. I did so. We're still friends, she's found a lovely person. I'm so happy for her. Me and my friend would make jokes about how we're in a love triangle with him and how her and I should get together as a fuck you. He said what we had was straight, that no matter what gender I idenitified as he'd never be gay. He used my deadname under his breath, he made me look at him. I hate eye contact but he held my face and forced me to look at him. He pushed me away when he turned 18. He said he was "too worried about falling for me". That was in December. Back to last july after he left he said he wanted a relationship, he wanted something with me. He wanted this to be real. He said he'd only date me if I never left him, if I promised to have kids with him. Looking back that's way more disgusting than i thought it was back then. I shot the idea down, I said it sounded like some fucked up contract. Thinking about it now makes me want to vomit in my mouth, I don't know if he emotionally manipulated me or if I was doing it to myself for letting it happen? He had this crush since he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years, October 2022. My cousin has since apologized for making him believe he had a chance, which I'm appreciative of. He ended up having a crush on her as well, we both agree he's just fucking pathetic. The worst part about it is the emptiness that followed. He never tried in conversations, they were all flat. He said our friendship only worked when he was there in New Jersey, when he was with me. When he was allowed to be there and touch me. We met in person 4 months after I first met him in June of 2022, I was 13 and he was 16. Everything was great. And then only a year later a feel empty talking to him as he's forcing me to look at him. There was a time where if he wasn't talking to me I felt physically ill, I was so deep in this hole of needing him, meanwhile it never felt like he needed me as much as he said he did. I just wanted someone I considered my best friend, I sometimes wonder if he was waiting until I was legal. He said he'd never hurt me, that he wouldn't do something I didn't want to do. Frankly I don't think he should've listened to a desperate lonely 14 year old who he ghosted for 3 days and then became so emotionally dependent on. I don't think he was intentionally manipulating me, I was more of doing it to myself, but looking back I just feel manipulated, yknow?

Sorry, you guys don't need to hear this. I don't need to share it. I'm happy I've blocked him, I'm happy I don't need to think about him. I hope this post will help me forget about it all, or at least turn it into something I can reflect on as "wow, I can't believe I let that happen". I may reblog this with more things as my memory shows. Maybe I'm being overdramatic, I just needed this off my chest

#vent #sorry this is tmi #i just needed this off my chest #still have the goku postit he put on my ceiling #maybe i should rip it up for symbolism or something #it looks nothing like goku #this is the “he” i keep asking if i should text btw

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astoldbychae · 5 months ago

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Questions for OC Couples: Aura & Moe

1. Where and how did they meet? At his office (Sollitto Enterprises; he's an Investor), after she started working for him/became his assistant (his previous assistant resigned and Aura took her place). Her father has connections and this is the reason she moved to San Myshuno immediately after graduation.

2. Was it love at first sight? Nope, strictly business (but he was checking her out). She was a bit younger than He was used to, so he kept it cordial until she began to subtly show interest, during one of their late night meetings SEVERAL months later. She began to pry a bit and ask questions about his love life and upbringing. Moe has done business with her Father before, so he knew about her family and they kind of bonded over that.

3. If it was not love at first sight, how and when did they know it was love? For him, it was around the time his mother passed away. The way she showed up for him was admirable. He doesn't have the best relationship with his father but she came in and helped him attempt to patch things up with his pops. For her, it was when he booked their baecation to Sulani (because you don't just plan a trip like THAT for just ANYONE...)

4. What feature(s) do they find most attractive about their partner? She loves his hands (how well manicured they always are), his dominance, and how loving he is (when He cares about you). He loves literally everything about her honestly. She loves to "dress up for no reason" AND IT DRIVES HIM CRAZY to see her all dolled up (hence the little nickname, Doll). He loves to hear her talk because of how "proper" she speaks with her little southern twang! When she tries to get mad, it turns him on! Cause He feels that she wouldn't squish a bug!

5. What traits / personality aspects do they like most about their partner? She loves his love for reading (thirst for knowledge), assertiveness, and (most days) his calm/nonchalant nature. He loves how nurturing, generous, and "soft/dainty" she is (but she can be a beast in her own soft way, don't let the "Southern Belle" fool you! Lol). She's spoiled and he LOVES spoiling her (but she also likes to get her own, she's not interested in the housewife lifestyle but she definitely has a good balance between work and play; ma'am is gonna take her self-care days ok!)

6. Do they have any habits their partner finds annoying? She would like to change his cigar smoking "habit," She doesn't like the smell. He would like to change her spending habits (he would prefer for her to invest more of her money but she's young and likes to shop!).

7. Is there anything about their partner they would like to change? He would like to change her spending habits, She would like to change his cigar smoking & "let's visit the strip club to unwind" habit.

8. Where did they have their first date? In Tartosa because the wine just taste better out there 🙄 (GIRL, Aura is spoiled AF)

9. When and where did they have their first kiss? In his office, after hours...😏

10. How long have they been together? About 3 years or so

11. Will they stay together for a long time? Giiiiirrrrrllllll, I hope so! (that's the plan but ya'll know my damn game is unhinged!)

12. Do they have many problems in the relationship or just a few? Or none? Just a few; her spending habits and his (small) gambling/"let's visit the strip club to unwind" /cigar smoking "habit".

13. Is there a big age difference between the partners, a small difference or are they the same age? Yes, 10 years-or so-ish. She's 25, He's mid-thirties (like 35ish) . They met when she was around 21-22, He was earlier thirties...

14. Do other people approve or disapprove of the relationship? In the beginning, yes.

15. If someone disapproves of the relationship, who is it, and why do they disapprove? Her older brother. Mainly because of the ties that Moe had with their father. Ultimately, Aura's dad is the reason why Moe "turned his life around for the better". He kept him on the straight and narrow. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but think Ghost (from Power, if he actually managed to make it out and start a new life).

16. Does the couple care if people disapprove of them being together? Nope! Not at all.

17. Are they married? Nuh-uh

18. If they’re not married, do they want to be? They're currently engaged (Woo! Wedding Planning! Yay me! 🙄)

19. Would they elope, have a small intimate wedding, big fancy wedding, or something else? Big Fancy Extravagant Ass Wedding, courtesy of Aura. Moe would be alright with going to the courthouse and heading straight to the honeymoon. BUT whatever Aura wants, Aura gets!

20. Where would they go on their honeymoon or dream vacation? Somewhere, ANYWHERE Tropical. He likes to be shirtless/half naked soaking up the sun, and she loves to bask in his shirtless/half-naked-ness. 🙄 Girl, He may end up taking her to a nude beach...knowing his ass.

21. Do they have any children? Do they want any? They don't have any together, yet. She would like to have 1. He (currently) doesn't want any. Spoiler alert: He has one that He isn't aware of and would've had a set of twins with miss ma'am (but she unfortunately miscarried).

22. What is their favourite thing to do together? Travel, Try new restaurants; anything spontaneous or adventurous really.

23. Where is their favourite place to go together? Anywhere out the country. Tartosa is home to some of their most special memories tho, so that's always a vibe!

24. Do they have a song? Hrs and Hrs Remix - Muni Long ft. Usher (Moe is a BIG Usher fan chile, Confessions was his fave album)

Pleeease don't let him try to sing!

25. Do they have any pet names / nicknames for each other? She calls him Babe or "Luci"/Luciano (his middle name). He calls her Sweetheart, Doll, or Little Mama (or Lil' Ma when he's been drinking and his words are slurred).

26. Are they jealous? Yes, both of them are. Lawd, help us!

27. Is this a first relationship for either of them? Relationship? No, she dated Troy (Yes, Melo's best friend/super sperm) briefly before Moe. He dated Kelsey (throughout high school and briefly messed around in their early 20's, he loved the hell outta her too!). But this is definitely Aura's first REAL/SERIOUS relationship. This is Moe's second.

28. How do they show affection for each other? Sex, quality time, and acts of service (that's their mutual love language).

29. How do they cheer their partner up when they’re sad? He cooks for her. She rubs his head/brushes his waves or massages his shoulders. Both of them tend to isolate when they are feeling intense emotions (for two separate reasons), so when they're in each other's presence, they tend to be there without words, just actions. He'll just get up and cook her favorite food or she will just silently (and softly) rub his head.

30. Is either of the partners a ‘hopeless romantic’? Aura, of course. She grew up witnessing the way her father loved her mother, and then her step-mother (once her mother died) AND spent countless hours watching Disney movies and black sitcoms & movies that emphasized success, love, and family. She has high hopes (and standards) when it comes to life, love, and romance; She definitely feels that she deserves to have the best (IKDR!).

I had to do this for my babies that I've kinda, sorta neglected...

#oc ask game #oc: aura matthews #oc: ramone sollitto #he may be polyaWHOREous but he loves Aura #She on the other hand loves TF outta him...#but takes no shit!#he has his secrets...#and I know for a fact that she does too...#*sips piping HOT tea and burns lip*#She's Monet's god sister #her father owns a winery in Tartosa...#and SEVERAL other businesses...#👀#The Matthews Family *secrets* are something else tho...

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specialshipping-blog · 2 years ago

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I saw the "100 otp questions" by the-moon-dust-writings on Tumblr, and I wanted to answer all of them. I thought it would be a perfect first post for this blog. ^^

——————————

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

Yellow. Red doesn't like them that much, to be honest he's not a big fan of flowers in general. However, he likes seeing Yellow wearing them, especially because of the cute, somewhat embarrassed face she has when putting them on. This look makes him not hate them that much.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

Red. He's completely touch-starved.

3. Who has awful taste in music?

I feel like neither, but I think Yellow's the type of person who would listen to the same song over and over again for a few weeks, to the point that Red leaves the room whenever he hears it.

4. Who is the meme lover?

Red. This one is just from the vibes alone, he's been spending way too much time with Gold. His favourite ones are the ones that can annoy Yellow or at least tease her.

5. How did their second date go?

They probably had dinner somewhere quiet, surrounded by candles and flowers, talked about most random things, had dessert and a few drinks.

6. How many children do they want/have?

2-3.

7. Who hides the weapons?

Red.

8. Who is the better dancer?

Also Red.

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

Probably something in cottagecore style.

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

Red's parents are most likely dead or if they aren't, then don't give a damn about him, so Red wouldn't care about their opinion anyway (similar with Yellow's). Yellow's uncle was very cautious about Red and them dating at first, yet later he warmed up and was happy for them. Yet he still threatened him during their wedding that if something happens to her, he will get him.

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

In public, no. When they're alone, 100% yes.

12. How did they get together?

After emerald arc they slowly started to realise that they actually enjoy each other's accompany yes Yellow had a crush on him since they first met, but she was always a little intimidated by him, since earlier they didn't have time to meet up or even talk on any sort of occasion, to be honest except for the times when they had to save the world together, they barely knew each other. So they slowly got to know each other better and eventually decided that they want to be together.

13. Who asked the other to get married?

Yellow actually sort of decided they'd get married eventually shortly after they first met, and was already making plans. Once when they were passing the jeweler's Yellow saw a gorgeous ring and immediately fell in love with it. Red saw it, but pretended he didn't. Later on he bought this ring and popped up the question durning one of their walks in Viridian Forest, and was very nervous about it, even though he knew she'd say yes.

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

Red.

15. Who is the nerd?

Yellow.

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

Depends on what you mean by obscure. Useless curiosities, mostly about pokémon? Red. Medical shit or sometimes botany? Yellow.

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

Yellow. If she has to wear one to please both Red and then years later their kids, then she's making him wear one too.

18. Who likes to read?

Yellow definitely, however Red also reads something from time to time when interested.

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Red, because he's her handsome husband and he has the right to annoy her.

20. Who tutors the other?

Depends on the topic, but mostly Yellow.

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

No. Red can't stand rom-coms, meanwhile Yellow is not that fond of thrillers or horrors. Which concludes in them barely watching something together. It's not like they actually watch TV that often though.

22. How do their personalities compliment each other?

I could write the whole analysis with multiple paragraphs about this, but in order of keeping it short I would say that Yellow makes Red prioritise his emotions and needs more, instead of being a people pleaser to everyone like he always is. While Red makes Yellow believe in herself more, making her notice all her worths.

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

Either Yellow is making a sweet speech during a dinner with the people closest to them, or Red just randomly mentions it, completely out of context durning a conversation like it's nothing.

24. Who has better fashion sense?

Surprisingly, Red. He often has to help out Yellow choosing what to wear.

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Red will beat the shit out of anyone who even dares to think of mistreating Yellow.

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

Songs by their favorite artists or the soundtracks of the movies, tv shows and musicals they liked.

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Kokomi and Gorou from Genshin Impact. I feel like they would go on a double dates with Gold and Silver.

28. Who likes to prank the other?

Red.

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

Yellow. She likes to keep pictures as a way to always remember the good things that happen to her, she even prints those photos just to keep them in the albums or on her desk.

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

I mean... *cough* we already have a canonical explanation to that, Yellow is embarrassed, but sort of happy, meanwhile Red is pretty much chill about it, but doesn't seem to mind.

31. Where would they live?

Somewhere quiet for sure. Either in Red's house in Pallet Town or they would have a small cabin nearby Viridian Forest.

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

I don't know much about dragons, but they probably would have the baby ones, that are not too big and don't make that much of a mess.

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

Yellow would be a pacifistic vampire, that feeds exclusively of animals. Red would probably be the same, but from time to time he allows himself to drink blood of the bad guys.

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

I don't feel like they would dress up, but nun and demon/fallen angel seems suiting.

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

Absolutely.

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

They both love to call each other darling.

37. How do they cheer each other up?

By being there for one another, either to give advice/help, or just to listen as they vent about their feelings.

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

Yellow dislikes PDA as she doesn't like being in a centre of attention, she simply feels uncomfortable by it. Red respects it, but from time to time he might kiss her or do something else in front of the others just to tease her.

39. How old were they when they got together?

Yellow was around 17-18, Red 19-20.

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Yellow. It's actually oblivious at this point.

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

They can do any pose.

42. What is their song?

"If you come into my heart"

43. What does their room look like?

Pretty simple, with some basic furniture and a lot of things like photos, things they like or have good memories with, also a huge bed.

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

Red kills the zombies, while Yellow provides healing and support.

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

Red.

46. Who loves kids more?

They love their children equally, Yellow just shows it a bit more.

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

Nope.

48. What are their favourite colours?

Shades of red, gold and green.

49. Who likes to cook?

Red, because he's ridiculously good at it.

50. Who is the forgetful one?

Yellow. She is smart, but sometimes she forgets about the most simple things.

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

If it's about pokémon battles then both, if not then Red.

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

They do whatever they love doing together. Go on a walk, maybe fishing or even if one of them finally gives up on what to watch, aka Red 99% of the times they watch some movies as they're hugged into each other and they fall asleep like that later.

53. Who swears more?

Red.

54. Who has the better comebacks?

Again Red. I mean, when he's mad he can kill people with words.

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

ONCE AGAIN RED.

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

Yellow, when she has nothing better to do.

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

Yellow.

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

Red probably.

59. Who can rap better?

My money is on Red.

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

They both probably thought about it once or twice while flying on their mons.

61. What do they usually text about?

Literally anything that they're thinking of.

62. Who is the dramatic one?

Red is the dramatic queen, I make no rules I know I'm correct.

63. Is either one confrontational?

It depends on the situation, but yep.

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

Any position that allows them to easily and comfortably fall asleep in each other's arms.

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

They can't decide as most of the times they like only 3 songs at maximum from each artist.

66. What are their parenting styles?

Yellow is very caring and understanding, yet a bit more strict, and Red is just a spoiling dad, he wants to be the best father ever for his children as he never had a parent figure himself, so he knows the pain. They're both very loving and protective over their kids.

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

Yellow.

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

Red.

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

Red keeps random secrets from his early childhood about stupid things and Yellow knowing wouldn't affect anything. He keeps them for no reason, other than a feeling of pure embarrassment he would feel if he told her.

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

Gold and Silver.

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

They both only don't do it when the waiter/waitress did a bad job.

72. How do they work out a fight?

Dialogue.

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Yellow.

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

Red doesn't care what side of the bed he sleeps on, since he knows Yellow only cares about using him as a pillow.

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

The photo of their first kiss after being officially married.

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

Yellow.

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

Red.

78. What movie did they first see together?

"Titanic" probably, when they started dating it was going currently on the TV and Yellow loved this movie and wanted to watch it with him. Red agreed only because he didn't want to make her upset.

79. What do they like to see each other in?

Yellow likes seeing him shirtless in his tight tank tops. Red loves seeing her in beautiful dresses and cute clothes in general, including his clothes, that are oversized to her.

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

Red, because he can't read the room sometimes, or he just wants to annoy someone on purpose.

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

Probably as soon as they get married.

82. What do they love about each other the most?

Red loves how kind and loving Yellow is, while Yellow how passionate and hardworking he is.

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

Depends on their mood and on the subject.

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

Yellow would make a short sappy, but really cute note about their life together, how proud she is of him, how happy he makes her everyday etc. Red would write a bunch of compliments and loving phrases.

85. Who is bad at math?

Yellow.

86. Who googles everything?

Yellow, especially when she argues with Red about something. Red doesn't need it, he knows he's right.

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

Usually Red, but Yellow has her moments too.

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

Lots of cuddles and emotional support.

89. What is an inside joke they have?

They probably often quote some crappy movies quotes, that they regret watching.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Both.

91. What is their favourite holiday?

Christmas, Red used to hate it before, but after he met Yellow he slowly grew on it and started to enjoy it. For them this holiday is just a perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together without anyone interrupting them.

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

Usually Yellow is calm and collected while Red is angry and destructive. Usually.

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

Chess. Pretty basic, but they're both pretty competitive when it comes to it.

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

Red, probably when he's training with his team.

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

Yellow, because she knows she would be too stressed to rob.

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

Mareux maybe.

97. Who sleep talks?

Yellow literally does this canonically, Red finds it pretty cute.

98. Who is the more social one?

Red obviously, he loves being with other people as he doesn't want to feel alone, yet he ends up spending most of his time with Yellow anyway after they get together.

99. What are their karaoke songs?

They don't like karaoke unless they're drunk and when they're drunk they sing everything.

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

Red. He has a psychological need to make his girlfriend smile.

#pokespe #specialshipping #pokemon special #pokemon adventures #pokemon manga #pokemon #trainer yellow #trainer red

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redwoodwv-hq · 10 months ago

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Name: James 'Jimmy' Darmody Age: 45 Town Occupation: Plumbing/HVAC & Inner Security Previous Occupation: Truck Driver Redwood Resident Length: ~ 2 years Faceclaim: Jason Momoa

Bullet Points:

Jimmy has a pet squirrel. He found it wounded in the junkyard and nursed it back to health. It can be a vicious thing , but also likes fermented apples . His name is Squid

Jimmy is wearing his and Mikaela’s bands in a chain around his neck

He picked up Spanish in Redwood

Jimmy is a true trade in all card and can help out around Redwood when needed in different jobs than the one he usually does. He learned to shoot as a kid , is very skilled at brawling and knows how to set traps for smaller game.

The cold never bothered him anyway , you’ll see him in thin layers and no one knows how

Jimmy uses the gym quite often and thus is the first to do repairs or build new things to train

Jimmy appears menacing and a hulk, but his character is actually a soft giant who would do anything for his own.

Biography:

Born northeast of Anchorage on his parent’s farms, James had a quiet and completely free childhood. His first memories were among cattle, yaks, chicken and dogs. He was a trouble maker as kid. Stealing some apples on the neighbor’s farm or “stealing” a tractor to go to town to buy candy at 8. All in all, however, he was close to his family , may it be siblings, parents, aunts, cousins. Life was an easy one to live. School bored him to death, mostly because he couldn’t sit still behind a desk and was questioning why they needed to learn all these things they would never use in real life. That was the main reason for a lot of whooping : school. It didn’t matter, he preferred helping and working on the farm anyway. He herd the cattle, the yaks, he helped with the diary produce , knew how to use most of the machinery by the age of 13. As he grew older, the need to get away from this “little” life became stronger. It grew stronger when he got a truck at 16.

His older teenage years and twenties were defined by odd jobs and moving around the US. Most of his knowledge he acquired on the field or by being taught by other workers. Easier back then to get into the field of construction. Jimmy developed also a reputation for himself. While he was a serious walker, he also liked to hit the pub and be totally wasted. He never started a fight, but was damn sure to end them when he was forcefully involved. That in turn made him sleep in jail more often than not.

To lay low , he took up a job as a driver for an 18 wheeler for about 2 years. That’s when he met Mikaela, a waitress at a diner. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was a reason for James to be the most awkward big foot being ever. It took months before he asked her out and when she accepted, he felt like he had met his soulmate. Mikaela was in a way his angel and he found someone to actually ground him. They both picked a point on the map : West Virginia. Starting fresh, they got a flat and he found a plumbing job. However as they got married, Jimmy made a mistake. His drunk driving got 2 people killed, which ended him in prison for a few years. In that time , he learned to survive and be smart with his choices and words. Skills he did not know would come more than handy a few years later.

Fast forward to the beginning of the outbreak, in the midst of the chaos, he managed to escape , killing who he had to get out. He made his way to his wife and both fled the city as soon as possible. Their road would eventually lead to Redwood. On edge, and hiding that he was a fugitive , they found refuge there. No one knew if that outbreak would last. And that did not matter, Mikaela was pregnant, he was making a new life there and everything seemed ok for months. However , he should have known that it was the living that were a danger. He survived the Reaver’s attack, but during it , Mikaela was infected. Jimmy would lose his wife and baby girl in the aftermath of it. He agreed to the new protocol for the next 2 years made sure no one had to live through his loss. He never agreed to take a seat in the council , but often acts as inner security when not fixing that god damn laundromat.

#redwood.characters

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jamesxdarmody · 10 months ago

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CONNECTIONS/WANTED && OPEN STARTERS

Age— 45 (july 24 - Leo) Originally from— Anchorage, Alaska community — since march 2040 Previous job— construction worker Community job— plumbing , inner security , animal handling Living Arrangements — cabin near the junkyard Family — Mikaela (wife ) [dead and buried at Redwood] , unnamed baby girl [dead and buried at Redwood] ,parents - 2 older brothers and 3 younger sisters [status unknown]

Biography:

To lay low , he took up a job as a driver for an 18 wheeler for about 2 years. That’s when he met Mikaela, a waitress at a diner. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was a reason for Lloyd to be the most awkward big foot being ever. It took months before he asked her out and when she accepted, he felt like he had met his soulmate. Mikaela was in a way his angel and he found someone to actually ground him. They both picked a point on the map : West Virginia. Starting fresh, they got a flat and he found a plumbing job. However as they got married, Jimmy made a mistake. His drunk driving got 2 people killed, which ended him in prison for a few years. In that time , he learned to survive and be smart with his choices and words. Skills he did not know would come more than handy a few years later.

Headcanons:

• Jimmy has a pet squirrel. He found it wounded in the junkyard and nursed it back to health. It can be a vicious thing , but also likes fermented apples . His name is Squid

• Jimmy is wearing his and Mikaela’s bands in a chain around his neck

• He picked up Spanish in Redwood

• Jimmy is a true trade in all card and can help out around Redwood when needed in different jobs than the one he usually does. He learned to shoot as a kid , is very skilled at brawling and knows how to set traps for smaller game.

• The cold never bothered him anyway , you’ll see him in thin layers and no one knows how

• Jimmy uses the gym quite often and thus is the first to do repairs or build new things to train

• Jimmy appears menacing and a hulk, but his character is actually a soft giant who would do anything for his own.

• Jimmy's parents fell in love with Alaska and left everything to chase their dreams. That always stuck with Jimmy: make his way in the world. However he does not forget his indigenous heritage

#bio

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outofcontexturi · 2 years ago

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Tues 14th March 2023 journal 20:53pm

happy birthday rhianna. I’ll love ya always! 💜. can’t believe I’ve known you for 13 years lol. time fucking flies nigga damn. Anyways today has been a decent day. I don’t remember the last time I did one of these but the point is it didn’t matter cause a real nigga needs a job right now and I mean a J O B ! I had to ask my dad to lend me money and I know that’s what parents are for in times of crises but my dad is a businessman thru and thru so that nigga WILL expect his money back at some point. And cause he trusts me to pay it back to him (which I will) I need a fucking job to cover for the fact that I owe him a bit. And I need one now. But timing is all a bit meh. The agent I was meant to meet with today cancelled and said let’s go next week which I probably won’t be able to do. My feet and voice are tired cause of all this singing and dancing this musical is demanding from me. I’m currently hungry as fuck on a train back home from LAMDA. Had a nice convo with Ramesa today about the ecosystem at LAMDA and how it affects us all and how we’ll all be happier when we leave this place and she’s probably right the more I think about it but enough of giving that thought. I think things are going well in my life. I feel happier I guess? But idk what to attribute it to? maybe I’m just choosing to see the good things and focus on them but yeah things are okay. Nolu is a great addition to life right now. Since I’ve met her good things have happened to me. And she seems to care a lot about me I guess? I felt something when I was with her but I can’t really describe the feeling properly. It felt weird. I’m not used to showing affection and I think I’m rationalising the thought of showing affection to someone and it’s making me feel weird. I do really like her company though. I don’t really know what I want and I think that’s what’s bugging me inside. I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m having a great time doing it so I guess that’s a good thing. I don’t know how long it’ll last and I don’t know if that matters. What will be will be I guess. Navigating the 20’s is so fucking hard. I want to make the right choices but there’s no real such thing as a right choice: it’s just a better choice. I don’t wanna be wrong but I don’t wanna die trying to be right either. It’s 21:06pm. I’m heading to Grove Park now. I need to eat something. I’m still not over my past and I don’t know when I will be but the feeling is still there so it’s hard to be present with other (women) when I still feel fragile. I also don’t like this whole overthinking thing. It’s annoying. Choosing when to put me first is also new to me. TBC 21:08.. just got home. 21:18pm. I don’t have the time I want for myself. this is very demanding of me. I need to think of ways to get better. But it’s the fact I haven’t had time to sit down with myself properly and think about how I’m going to get what I want. I need to eat something. I talked to saffrah today. She’s doing well. I’m happy she is! 21:21pm. I just wanna relax this evening. Thank God I start later tomorrow. I need to stop biting my nails :/ I’m tired. sometimes I miss Honey. I just miss the jokes we had and how honest I could be and shit. Like I’m already not a trusting person by nature so I don’t like the idea of opening up anyways and even the idea of dating or relationships is throwing me off because I haven’t healed. Im still angry at her for leaving me. Who knew healing would take this fucking long? anyways im out. Sign out time: 21:28pm

#journal

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koreandragon · 5 years ago

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am i supposed to be ok with the main couple in Doctors? cause i’m so not

#doctors #kdrama #the fact that you point out how weird the age difference is is lampshading and does not help at all #i get that they didn't do anything when she was still in high school but she was still a minor when he started liking her #then they met 13 years later and the FIRST damn thing he asks her is that whether she has a boyfriend/husband or not #like this moron's first thought was 'she's legal age now so it's ok'#i'm mad #it's the equivalent of men waiting for minors to be 18 so they wouldn't go to jail #does this not bother anyone #the second male lead is so much better again #they're the same age and he's so smitten with her like fcking kill me #why are we abandoning perfectly good love interests in the favor of men who are more than a decade older than the female lead #dude wasn't even going to wait to see if she still has feelings for him or idk #and the fact that he still has feelings for her after 13 years since SHE WAS IN FCKING HIGH SCHOOL #is equally as weird #like you're almost 40 and you're still in love with that high school kid you met 13 years ago? that's weird dude #i'm livid can you tell #frankly i'd be fine with it if they didn't initially meet as a student and teacher #but the fact that they did makes me angry

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hmm-self-indulgence · 3 years ago

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Michael Shelley x Gn!Reader

Read as a statement. Italics are Jon, and regular is You! Gender Neutral, congrats you are married, have graduated uni, and live in England. Statement given around mag 140. I’m going with the descriptions given on Fandom Wiki for Michael, and the classic interpretation of Helen (since she has no canon description).

Warnings! Intense language, traumatic experiences, major character loss, some almost sexual themes but no smut. Pretty much just PG-13 except for language and some monsterfucking elements. READER HAS SEMI BISEXUAL TENDENCIES (you get both distortions for the price of one!) Also, what's a timeline, never heard of her? So just general timeline fucking up for the sake of some fluff and angst. Mentions of religion and praying (kinda worshiping the spiral a la Manuela)! Drug mentions. Also, violence against Elias, but who cares! Some artistic liberties taken when it comes to a lot of things. I’ve never been to the UK so some stuff might be wrong. Technically unintentional spousal abuse, (gaslight gatekeep girlboss) plus technically kidnapping? Plus the reader is a bit mean to Jon. Also my friend proofread this and said it reminded her of twilight a bit so I hate that but I wanna post it anyway. I hate that I took unintentional inspiration from twilight but here we are anyway.

No one has the permission to repost this on any website. Do not use my content or claim it as your own! I do not own these characters, they are made, owned and are the property of Johnathan Sims. I am in no way profiting off of this and this is made with full respect to Rusty Quill.

Quick taglist @decora-peaches , @swordsandfools, sorry gang I'm a fool who needed the confidence to post this and its been quite a bit since I promised to post this.

Helen has decided to try to buy our friendship again, as she has brought me a statement. Where she got it from I have no idea, but I feel the need to record it. Anyway, Statement of (y/n) Shelley, regarding their life and experiences with their husband... Michael. Date written, unknown. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, The Archivist.

Statement begins.

I'd like to first say that I hate your Archive and everything you stand for. You took the man I love from me twice and I despise you all for it, but Helen asked for it and I cannot deny her anything. So here is my statement, and I hope you choke on it.

I met Michael Shelley in our first year in University. We were in a maths class together. We had finals coming up and a handful of our classmates wanted to meet up at the south library to practice together later in the day. The study session ran extremely late, and it was dark when I left the building. He must have seen my hesitance and offered to walk me back to my dorm, and I guess we hit it off.

We went out quite a lot, and he was so sweet and always listened to what I had to say. He was occasionally forgetful, but he never made me feel like I was

Michael always had this… obsession with the unnatural. He told me what happened to his friend when he was a child, and I believed him well enough. I didn't believe in ghosts or ghouls or any of that lot, but he did. Michael heard that the Magnus Institute was hiring, and before I knew it he had dropped out and started working there full time. I was surprised, but honestly I didn’t think much of it at the time because he was so happy to have that damn job.

My parents were... not thrilled with Michael. To them, he was too quiet and, as you know, working for the Magnus Institute isn't the most glorious or well paying job, and my parents were worried that he was crazy. To be honest, he wasn't all there when I was with him, he always seemed to be a world away. But that didn't matter to me. He was mine, and we loved each other.

He proposed at my graduation, and we got married a few months later. The wedding was a small thing, his parents didn't come and mine showed up begrudgingly, so it was mostly just a few friends and his two of his coworkers that showed up in the end. Michael was so damn happy to see Emma and Eric. Eric even brought his little boy with him. It was the happiest day of our lives, I don’t think I ever saw Michael smile as much as he had that day.

We had a small apartment right between our workplaces. It was a bit of a trip for both of us, but I don't think either of us minded. He went on a few trips for the institute, so when he told me he was going north with Gertrude I didn’t see anything the matter with it. I helped him pack some warm clothes, and we had dinner before he left. Nothing… Nothing seemed wrong at first. I was used to him not being able to talk when he was on his trips, but after 3 weeks of silence went by I was scared. I got the letter the next day. “The Magnus Institute regrets to inform you that Michael Shelley has passed away. Our deepest condolences, Elias Bouchard.”

I went to the institute to get answers, storming my way into Elias’s office. He didn't even have the kindness to look shocked or even the slightest bit remorseful. Didn’t say shit about it either, just that he was dead. I asked about his body, if there was anything that could be buried or just anything about what happened. He just… stared at me, just saying that Michael was dead and that the institute was sorry.

I don’t remember much about what happened next, but I remember feeling his weasley little neck in my hands as I tried to squeeze the answers out of him. Security pulled me away and when he caught his breath he told me he wouldn’t press charges, but that I had to leave and not come back. As I was escorted out of the building, I saw Gertrude and Emma staring at me with those blank eyes. I begged her to tell me anything about Michael, anything at all and that I knew she was with him on that trip. Nothing made her react at all, but I swear she flinched when I asked if she killed him. I don’t know how I got home that day.

I prayed that day. I prayed that the institute was wrong, that Michael was alive, that this was just a sick fucking joke. But it wasn't, and I had to bury an empty box alone a few days later. Work gave me a few weeks off that were spent practically catatonic in our bed. People came by, friends, my parents, but they couldn’t bring him back to me or fill the empty hole that was left in my life. It's strange, you never realize how dependent you are on a person until they suddenly leave, no warning. It’s like a crutch being kicked out from under a missing limb, but you never stop falling.

But you don’t deserve my grief, my sadness, you already know what you did. You don’t want to know about my Michael, you want to know about the Michael you created. For Helen I will indulge you. I first saw the yellow door about three months after he passed. I was grieving, and that makes us so much more foolish. I had been walking home after work and I was lost in my own head, taking turns and alleys I hadn't ever seen before. I think I was around Westminster when it happened. Some men had tried to grab my purse, and I ran.

I heard their footsteps following me as I ran through the small, dark alleys, my shoes smacked against the slippery cobblestone and I was so afraid. I was ahead of them by a bit, and I started banging on doors, begging for someone to help me, but no one answered. No lights were on in any of the homes and I felt my heart hammering in my throat threatening to escape. Then I saw it, fused into a cobblestone fence. A bright yellow door at the end of the alley, just barely opened so a sliver of light peaked through. I ran towards it, running through it before slamming the door behind me. I never heard anything from the other side of the door.

When the adrenaline died off I noticed the hallway. The walls were an obnoxious mix of beige and yellow. There were these mirrors in the hallway, kind of like the mirrors at carnivals that distort your body and make you look different. Everything hurt to look at, and the lights were so bright I was getting a migraine. The place made me feel like I was on a LSD trip. That wasn't even the strangest thing though. In my peripheral vision I kept seeing… something. It only appeared where I couldn't focus on it. I tried to go back to the door I came from, but It wouldn't budge, and I never got a clear view of what was there so I started walking. After a few minutes of the endless nauseating hallways I saw another door.

I don't know what I expected when I opened the door, maybe more weird hallways, but never in a million years did I expect it to be my own apartment on the other side. I was frozen in place, shocked and so, so afraid when I felt something grip my shoulder strongly, jerking me forward and into my bedroom before the yellow door slammed shut with a bang. And when I looked back there was no door.

I told myself I was hallucinating. That something was wrong and it was all just a bad dream. I spent the whole night convincing myself I was going mental. Lying to myself worked, and I was so close to believing it when I saw the bruise on my skin under where I was shoved. Some part of that night had to have been true, I had no fucking clue what really happened.

Looking back it was so stupid of me. So fucking stupid but I needed to know what the hell happened that night. I started looking for danger, going into darker areas later in the night. I walked around with fake jewelry that looked nice enough from far away to entice some lowlife thief. I got robbed twice, got a few scrapes and bruises but the door didn’t show up again. Kept telling myself it was grief, maybe some disorder or another that stemmed from that first night.

I don't know how it was different from that night, but maybe it knew they wouldn't have hurt me too bad, so the door left me to my own devices, or maybe I’m just insane..

I wasn't expecting a door when I saw it next. There had been a break-in near my work, and a police officer came by to ask us some questions. The officer was this real brute of a man, tall enough that he had to duck to get into the shop. I don’t remember his name, but I didn't like the look of him. Of course I answered the questions, but the officer just started getting closer and closer. I was scared and closed my eyes for just a second, and when I opened them the yellow door was to my right, where a window was supposed to be. I bolted straight into the door, I don't even know if the officer followed me. But the door opened and the nauseating hallway was there again.

When I heard the door latch I took a moment to breathe. The strange figure appeared in my peripherals again, always disappearing when I tried to focus on it. I called out to it, asking where I was and what was going on. Looking down the hallway I saw something tap the mirror, like it was poking it from inside. I moved closer until I saw the horrible hand gripping the inside of the mirror. They weren't hands, hands don't have that many bones, hands aren't that long or sharp but… there they were. I didn’t even realize I was standing in front of it until I felt that strange weight on my shoulder again. I turned around quickly but nothing was there, and turning around I almost screamed. My reflection was there, but it wasn't alone. Whatever was connected to those claws resting on my shoulders looked almost like Michael. I could feel the weight on my shoulders, but the thing with Michael’s face was only in the mirror.

Michael wasn't originally a tall man, but now he almost had to bend over to fit his entire frame in the mirror. Michael didn't have hands like that, Michael’s smile was never that large, and most importantly, Michael wasn't alive. But here stood the thing that was and wasn't my husband. But when he said hello I just broke down. I told him everything and begged him to stay by my side. He said he had left, but that which both is and isn't him has been here. He said he would stay, and I said that I loved him. I don’t think he loved me, not the… the new version of him. I don't even think he had any emotions left at the end. I think there was just enough Michael to remember me.

I knew he wasn't exactly like my Michael, but he was close enough to make me happy. I knew he was hurting people, the hallways weren’t silent, and I heard screaming occasionally. There were a lot of mirrors in his doors, and sometimes I saw faces in them, real normal faces. I wanted him back, even as he had become he was still my Michael.

His door was in our… my apartment some days. Oftentimes it wouldn't even open, but it was just a comforting presence. His door, his shenanigans, it all just became my new life. He wasn't Michael, but he was enough like him to make the grief go away. If I fooled myself enough it almost felt normal again, like when we were first married. He didn't speak much, he just came and went like a house cat. I would speak to him, or at least his door when I was particularly lonely.

There were times he acted like his old self. Some days he would go through the motions of making coffee, only to stare at it in distaste before he disappeared.

I would see him standing in our apartment, just staring at a wall or going through one of his old routines. Some nights I would wake up to see him staring at me from the foot of our bed. I even found some of his gold hair on his pillow again. We lived that way for around seven years. In that time, nothing really changed, we just inhabited the same area. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than living without him, so I didn't mind.

A few months before he disappeared, again, he came back with blood on his hands. I tried to ask what happened, but all he would say was that he “poked the eye”, and I assume that means it's your lot. He seemed so pleased with himself so I didn't ask any more questions. That's when things got bad again.

I didn't see him for a few weeks, and I was worried, not even his door was here. I was so afraid he was gone again, and I worried I was insane again. I prayed, not to God this time, no, I prayed to the hallways and the ever changing fractals. I prayed to the spiral Michael mentioned. I offered worship and my love in exchange for any part of my lover back. And this time someone answered.

There was a figure in my room again, but it wasn't Michael. It was a woman I came to know as Helen. She was around the same height as my new Michael, and her voice was just as disorienting and alluring as my husband. I had to mourn Michael twice, but Helen filled in the gaps he left very well. Helen didn't know much about me, only that she felt pulled towards me, but she was determined to learn.

Helen tried to be a person more than Michael did at the end. Michael would never stay long, but Helen would spend hours in our apartment, just sitting or watching me. I would see her doors throughout my day, always in the most impossible places. She told me once it was just to see me smile, can you believe that? Michael did the same thing, and I adore her for this kindness. She is such a kind presence, and I care for her.

It's strange, in another life I think I could love her the way I love Michael. But this is not the life we are in, and my heart belongs to Michael. You took him from me, and I will never forgive you for that, your eyes will be blind one day and you will be left with nothing, just like me.

Statement… ends. Helen, why did she give this to me. What does this mean? I asked Elias, and apparently some of this is verified. Michael did pass away at this time, and he was married to one Mx. (Y/N) Shelley. I have elected not to reach out to their family, as if this is true, then reaching out would only end poorly. I… I need to talk to Helen.

#michael distortion x reader #michael shelley x reader #michael distortion #Michael shelley #helen distortion #the distortion #helen richardson #tma micheal shelly #tma michael #tma helen #tma #tma fanfic #tma fanwork

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Burn The Witch 13 - Trouble [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Fights can be inevitable.

Series Masterlist

Oh God damn it.

This mission was not supposed to include anything from your real life, and it certainly was not supposed to include your real life ex-boyfriend.

Not only was this going to make things very, very complicated, it also put the entire operation in danger. No part of the background that was specifically created for your cover had any details on your ex relationships and you didn’t think you would have to come up with something now.

Well. For what it was worth, you weren’t the one who came up with it.

“Just joking man. I’m her ex-boyfriend but no worries, I pose no danger.”

Bucky didn’t even dignify that with an answer and you heaved a sigh, trying to control the anger bubbling in your stomach.

“Yeah,” you managed to say, “Yeah, we used to—um, we used to date.”

Bucky frowned, “Didn’t you say you moved here two months ago?”

“I did move here two months ago.”

“We used to date back in Oregon,” Julian explained and Bucky huhed.

“Yet here you are.”

“Yeah you know, the big apple,” Julian motioned around you, “I just got a job here and I figured I could come and see Y/N. Small town people have to look out for each other, you see.”

You gritted your teeth, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“She took you there yet?” Julian asked Bucky “Cannon Beach?”

“No,” you answered on his behalf and Julian clicked his tongue.

“I guess you could take him with you when you visit next month,” he said, “Surely you are visiting next month?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Come on, no way.” he said, his voice filled with disbelief. “It’s sand castles contest time, you love that contest!”

Right.

Julian had always been the best at playing the civilian and memorizing the back story of any cover. He was great at lying and that was why every mission you had gone on with him was that easy, he could fool anyone.

Including you.

“She came in fourth place two years ago, she made this dragon castle, you should’ve seen it.” He told Bucky, and you rolled your eyes.

Fourth place.

Easy enough to make someone believe, hard enough to find a trace of on the internet.

Julian was an asshole for sure, but he was a great spy and now you were beginning to remember why though every mission with him was a success, you had still avoided it even before your break up.

This was what he did, he took over every single assignment, no matter who was the leader.

Not this time. This was your mission and your mission only.

“Y/N, did you….” Julian let out a chuckle, “Did you tell him about the time your grandma caught us at the—“

“It was good so see you,” you cut him off, glaring at him “But you should probably go now, I’m kind of busy.”

Julian paused only for a moment before holding up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Okay,” he said, “It was nice to see you too. Again.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It was nice to meet you Bucky,” he said, “Take care of yourself, Y/N.”

He walked away from you and you closed your eyes for a moment, leaning your head back to the wall.

“Fuck this shit,” you murmured under your breath without even realizing it wasn’t something your cover would say, and opened your eyes to look up at Bucky.

“Was he bothering you or something?” he asked you and you scoffed.

“Please,” you muttered but then pulled yourself together. “He’s not…that type no. Just annoying, that’s all.”

“Are you sure? Because I can—“

“No,” you shook your head fervently, “No, please don’t. It’s fine, it’s just— who he is.”

How dare he?

How dare he try to take over your mission? You had put so much thought into this, coming up with multiple strategies, trying to convince yourself that-

That you were doing the right thing. Even if you felt yourself getting lost in this cover, it didn’t mean that Julian could swoop in and take this over as if you were a rookie agent in need of help.

This whole assignment belonged to you, not to anyone else.

If you were going to betray Bucky’s trust and feel like the most terrible person in the world, the least you could do was not let Julian take the credit.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” you attempted to change the subject and Bucky tilted his head.

“Come on Y/N, don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You don’t have to pretend like it’s fine,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you don’t have to pretend, ever.”

Okay, this was too much. You could almost feel your defenses going up, the whole hangover and stress and anger and now Bucky being able to tell you were faking something, it was all getting the best of you and if you weren’t careful, you would say something you would regret later.

“I’m sorry?”

“I just,” he took a deep breath, “Sometimes you’re like…too good to be true, you know? And Sam has this theory that you’re—you’re somehow you’re doing this for me or the people around you but you don’t have to.”

“You think I’m pretending?” you asked, your voice coming out way too defensive for your own cover but you could hardly care.

You were slipping, and you didn’t have the luxury to slip. It seemed to take Bucky by surprise because for the first time since you had met, you were-

Aggressive. That was the word. Less like your cover and more like your real self.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said and you let out a bitter chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah,” you said, “Okay. I’m kind of busy you see, I have so much to do at the shop so I should probably go back inside.”

“Y/N—“ he started but you pushed yourself off the wall.

“No it’s fine,” you managed to say, “This is me not pretending, for the record. I’ll see you later I guess.”

With that, you walked past him and went back to the milkshake shop, fury still poisoning your insides.

***

You could hardly wait until you could go back to the base. Even though you thought that by then you would have calmed down, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You were fucking good at your job, and you were going to prove it to anyone and everyone. Without any help.

“Is he here yet?” you asked Chloe who rushed to greet you as soon as you stepped out of the elevator into the base and she cleared her throat.

“Who?”

“Don’t even, I know you heard what happened,” you cut her off and she shifted her weight.

“Yeah. I read his report.”

“Exactly. Where is he?”

“Okay, before I tell you where he is I feel like it’s important that you remember we’re not supposed to kill our own agents,” she said, “The paper work is a nightmare.”

“Where is he?”

“Keith says it’s considered rude to kill your team members.”

“Chloe,” you looked her in the eye “Where is he?”

She heaved a sigh, “In the training room.”

“Great, more weapons to use,” you muttered as you walked away from her to walk downstairs to the training room. Anger was pulsing through your veins and you kicked the door open, making the pair currently trying to hit each other stop.

“Get out,” you nodded at the other agent and Julian let out a small chuckle before he wiped his face with the towel. The agent rushed out of the room and you narrowed your eyes at Julian.

“You look upset,” he commented, “Want to exercise it out of your system?”

“What the fuck was that?”

Julian uncapped his water bottle to take a huge sip. “Come on, I saw an opening-“

“You made that opening,” you cut him off, “And crossed the line.”

“Oh please,” he waved a hand in the air, “It worked out perfectly fine.”

You could barely control your voice now, “You almost blew my fucking cover!”

“I would never,” he said, “Trust me, if anything I did you a favor.”

You dug your fingernails into your palms, “A favor?”

“Yeah. Guys love competition, an ex-boyfriend being in the picture will even speed up the process.”

“This is my mission.” You said through your teeth, “You don’t get to make spontaneous decisions without running them by me first.”

“When was the last time you had a proper fight?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You always get cranky if you haven’t had a good challenge in a while,” he stated, “A good fight. I take it your boyfriend doesn’t tire you out enough?”

The innuendo wasn’t lost on you and you let out a small chuckle.

“You couldn’t tire me out if you tried.”

He tilted his head, “Is that a promise?”

You shot him a look and lunged but he easily dodged you, scowling.

“Come on Y/N,” he taunted you, “I won’t hold back, you shouldn’t either.”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t hold back.” you grinned at him and darted to grab at him but he twisted your hand to push you back, making your back hit the wall. You pulled your hair into a ponytail and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, spinning in the air to shove him to the ground. As soon as you both fell, you straddled him and pulled the dagger out of your boots to raise it and slam it to the ground right next to his head. A sly grin pulled at his lips as if he was having the time of his life.

“Look at you babe,” he said, “You got even better.”

You were very, very aware of the position you had both found yourself in. You used to find this whole thing hot, it was like foreplay to you. Mock fighting, training, all of it -especially with Julian- it used to be your second favorite activity.

Now, all you could think about was just how much more fun it would be with Bucky.

Maybe Julian was right. Maybe you were just a wild card.

A smirk curled your lips and you leaned in slightly to lock your eyes with his, looking down at him.

“My mission,” you growled. “Not yours. The next time you try to control what’s mine, I won’t be so nice.”

You pushed the dagger into your boot again and got off of him before storming out of the training room, still trying to keep your anger in check.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t work.

***

No matter what you did for the rest of the evening, it just wasn’t enough to calm you down. Now to think of it, it wasn’t even completely about Julian and his nonsense, it was because—

You didn’t want Bucky to think you were pretending, even if you were.

Just because it was a cover, didn’t mean your reactions and the happiness you felt with him was fake as well. But he could still tell something was off— Sam could still tell something was off despite your best efforts.

Great.

You poured wine into your glass and changed the channel, trying to decide whether you should go and bug Keith or not. You heaved a sigh and tore your eyes from the screen to lean your head back, nibbling on your lip.

Dealing with feelings was much more difficult than taking down a target.

You groaned to yourself and took a huge sip of your wine, but before you could grab your phone you heard the doorbell ring. Your head shot up and you grabbed your gun to walk to the door, but as soon as you looked through the peephole to avoid yet another mistake like actually opening the door to Julian, you froze.

Bucky.

….Fuck.

“Um- just a second!” you called out before rushing to your room to hide your gun, then quickly looked around the apartment to see if there was anything that could tip him off. Overall, it looked perfectly civilian and you ran a hand over your face to pull yourself together.

Your cover was supposed to be angry at him.

You threw your shoulders back and walked to the door to open it, then leaned sideways to the doorframe, your lips pulled into a slight pout.

“Hi,” you murmured and his gaze lingered on your shorts and flimsy tank top before he looked away for a moment.

Ah.

Compared to 1940s, it was almost the same as you opening the door in your underwear.

“Hey,” he said and held up a small box of bagels. “Listen, I know you’re angry but um…I was hoping we could talk?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Keith’s door opening and he stepped out but as soon as he caught the sight of Bucky on your doorstep, his eyes widened and he froze. He quickly fixed his jacket so that it would cover his gun tucked into the back of the waistband of his jeans and gawked at you.

“What the fuck?” he mouthed and you got momentarily distracted, causing Bucky to follow your gaze over his shoulder to Keith.

And Keith, the badass spy, probably the only spy in the whole division who could give you a hard time in a fight, whom you had seen take down five armed soldier by himself with no weapons-

He waved at Bucky.

“Hi- hi neighbor,” he stammered as he turned to you and you shot him a forced smile.

“Hi.”

“Thanks for the cookies, I was going to bring you your plate the other day,” he said, “Do you need it now?”

Translation: Do you need back up?

“No, no,” you shook your head, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“Alright then. See you later.”

You cleared your throat and took the box from Bucky.

“Come in,” you turned around to walk to the living room, hearing him close the door behind him. It didn’t take him long to step into the living room and his eyes darted around as if trying to take in as much as he could. You figured it was natural, homes always gave clues about who their owners were.

Not to mention, as an ex-assassin he was automatically finding the nearest exits and things to use as weapons.

You would know. You did the same thing whenever you were in a new place.

You peeked into the box and frowned.

“What is this?”

“To be honest with you, I have no idea,” Bucky admitted, “It’s supposed to be a bagel. I just asked the guy to give me the most modern and weirdest combination.”

“Is this—is this glitter?”

“He said it was edible glitter, yeah. With lavender and cheese with honey.”

“Why is there two of them?”

He put his hands into his pockets. “I figured I could try one.”

You blinked a couple of times, “You want to try a lavender cheese honey bagel with edible glitter.”

Even the sound of it seemed to be painful for him but he pressed his lips together and nodded fervently. “Mm hm.”

You tried to stop the smile threatening to warm your face and put the box on the coffee table before looking up at him.

“Bucky, listen—“

“I’m sorry,” he cut you off, “That comment back there, it was so uncalled for.”

You crossed your arms, “Why did you say that though?” you asked, “Is that—is that what you think?”

“No,” he shook his head fervently, “Of course not.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know if I can give an explanation without it sounding incredibly weird to you.”

“Try me.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said “It’s like— the way you are, it’s like someone somehow looked into my whole life back in 40s before everything and saw every single detail of what I wanted and made you.”

Yeah. That was exactly what you and the division had done.

“I’m not used to…” he motioned at you, “This. It’s like you’re too good to be true, like you’re perfect, does that make sense?”

A dull pain flipped your stomach and you stared up at him, trying to ignore your throat tightening before you went to sit down on the couch.

“I’m not,” you rasped out, “I’m not perfect. You’ll see it sooner or later.”

That right there was as honest as you could be with him. You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed the wine glass to take a huge sip as he sat down beside you, his gaze fixated on you.

“I’m sorry too,” you said, “It was an overreaction, it’s just… Julian’s effect on me.”

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds as if he had no idea how to approach the topic.

“Rough break up?”

“You could say that,” you scoffed a laugh, looking down at your glass, “I mean….you think you know a person, right? And they have no problem with proving you otherwise, prove that you didn’t know them at all. They—they betray your trust and everything was a lie all along and—“

And just like that, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, making you stop talking.

You were doing exactly the same. It was just another version of the betrayal you had seen from Julian, and you were doing the same thing to Bucky.

He thought he knew you, and you would prove him otherwise, and betray his trust and walk away when this mission was over. In fact, by the time it was over, he would hate you even more than you hated Julian.

You cursed under your breath and took another sip of your wine, trying to ease the crushing guilt making you feel almost breathless.

“Sorry,” you managed to say, “I didn’t mean to unleash it on you, I just don’t want him anywhere near me.”

“I could pay him a visit if you want?”

You pulled your brows together, distracted for a moment before you tilted your head to the side.

“What?”

“To warn him to stay away from you.”

“Uh, I appreciate the chivalry,” you said, “But I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t,” he pointed out, “It’s just the old-fashioned thing.”

“Oh the old-fashioned thing?” you repeated with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he said, “You know, taking care of my girl.”

You thought your heart would leap out of your throat as the warmth spread through you before the idea of betraying him hit you once again. The words felt like they were trying to escape from your mouth, the urge to come clean getting heavier and heavier before you leaned in to brush your lips against his, making him wrap his arms tight around you to pull you closer. You settled in his embrace, the back of your eyes burning but you blinked a couple of times to get rid of tears. He nuzzled into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” you asked and he smiled, pressing a kiss on top of your head.

“Sure thing,” he said and nodded at the TV screen, “What is this movie about?”

“I don’t know, it has cars and criminals,” you said, the guilt making you feel almost nauseous, “Bucky?”

“Hm?”

He would never understand what your confession actually meant, but you felt as if you would choke if you didn’t say it.

“I like who I am when I’m with you.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest before he reached out to caress your cheekbone.

“Makes two of us darling,” he murmured, “I like who I am when I’m with you too.”

A bitter smile curled your lips and you bit inside your cheek to control yourself, sniffling inaudibly before you closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth.

Chapter 14

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