#then other times they make me sad bc i was seriously a depressed teenager

[allofuswantgwinam]

i have drafted so many unhinged thoughts today 🤣🤣🤣 im about to go and look and see if there’s any old ones that are interesting 🤣🤣 I wanna see if I can get back into my high school Twitter account bc I know the drafts have to be a gold mine 💀

[one-abuse-survivor]

reporting from the milky way again :)

yes, i did get the exams and project out of the way (the main reason i worked on the project so much last weekend was because i had to turn it in until sunday night) but right now were in the process of getting all the grades back and tbh i'm less than happy about it. So far i'm not happy about math, physics and chemistry and there'll be even worse grades in geography, german and music.

and my dad did not realize the extent of my struggles and seems to think that i'm just a rebellious teenager or something

i know that my mom will be around tomorrow afternoon and i am planning to talk with her then but that'd be a one-on-one conversation and i'm not sure if i can handle that at the moment but we'll see. i can tell you how it went afterwards.

and i'm really excited for friday bc it's the last day of school this year and afterwards we have a 7 week break and i'll be able to go out for lunch with a friend whom I haven't seen in two years because they moved to the US.

okay so this is milky way again and i wanted to let you know how trying to talk to my mom went

spoiler alert: it was worse than disappointing

i didn't start talking about my suspicions of being neurodivergent because i wanted to see how helpful she'd be first so i just kinda started with how i struggle with concentrating and not getting distracted at school and my sleep issues and that's about as far as i got before i got a feeling of how pointless this was.

the only thing she did was telling me that others have it worse (since i still have above-average grades), that everyone has this kind of existential crisis at some point during their teenager years, that the sleeping and concentration issues are just teenager issues that everyone has and that everyone feels like their struggles are worse than everyone else's even tho most of the time they actually aren't and finally that she can't help me

i of course quickly got the hell out of the room and went to bed (so i can be by myself in my room in the dark with my door closed). on one hand i'm absolutely furious and on the other hand i am disappointed, sad and dejected and i don't really believe myself anymore. seriously, what if she's right? she's had about 40 years more life experience and she was a teenager too at some point so she'd know this kinda thing, wouldn't she? what if i'm just complaining too much and talking over the ones that are actually struggling and can actually prove it with grades and stuff?

i feel a lot worse than i did one hour ago and i should've just not started talking in the first place and i regret it so much because i know this conversation will haunt me for the next week if not more.

i'm just angry angry angry

at myself, at her, at the way she compared me with literally everyone else at my age, at how i'm not sure of myself and at everything

i haven't felt this bad since last november and that was when things got really really bad (suicidal thoughts and self-harm included) and i'm so so scared of being there again because i'm on a 7 month 2 week streak with self-harm and i don't want to have to break it

sorry that this is just me venting and that this is so long

tl;dr i tried talking to my mom, now i'm angry at myself and her and i'm terrified of myself

Hi again ❤ I'm really sorry your grades aren't as good as you wanted them to be and that your dad keeps acting like your struggles are just a teenage rebellious phase and not taking you seriously :( I hope you have a good time with your friend, at least!

I'm so so sorry talking to your mom went so badly. I hope you're feeling slightly better now, but if not, I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug. I know how hard it can be to believe you're actually struggling at first, especially mentally, and I can't even imagine how horrible it must feel to have those fears "proven" by the very people meant to help you and support you when you reach out for help.

She is not right, nonnie, no matter how much she insists she is. First of all, I think there's at least some truth to the idea that teenagers tend to think the world revolves around themselves, and to feel uncomprehended at times. But I also think that's completely understandable. I mean, you're experiencing what it's like not to be a kid anymore for the very first time; you're facing many grown-up problems and feelings for the first time. And all of that while hormones wreak havoc in your system. How are you not meant to be at least a little bit angsty at times? But you know what? That doesn't mean you don't deserve help and guidance from your parents! It is a part of parenting to guide your kids through their teenage problems and to help them deal with emotions and issues they'd never had to face before. So even if she was right, and all you were going through right now was a typical teen existential crisis, you would still need and deserve her guidance and support. And you would still deserve to see a doctor about your struggles with sleep and concentration even if it turned out it was a teenage thing. There is no scenario where you deserve to suffer and push through your struggles alone just because your problems don't come from a serious enough source.

Second of all, grades are not indicative of how much you're struggling. I got some of the best grades in my school during years where I was going through abuse. I know a person who managed to get into a medicine degree with undiagnosed ADHD (and you have to get some really high grades to study medicine here). I also know a person who passed 3/4ths of her uni subjects and graduated university while in a depression so severe she could barely walk. Your grades do not dictate whether you need help.

And third of all, she might be older than you, and I'm sure she had a lot of learning experiences as a teenager herself, but that doesn't mean she knows you better than you know yourself. No one knows you better than you know yourself. No one has experienced all life experiences and gets to decide what other people are or aren't going through. And most importantly, there's always going to be someone who has it "worse" than everyone in this world, but that doesn't mean everyone else doesn't deserve help to manage their struggles. There's no such thing as not struggling enough to deserve help. Either you're not struggling at all, whatsoever, or you are to some extent—and no matter what that extent is, if you feel like you need help with it, then you need help with it. No one gets to tell you you don't.

From what I know, it's not unheard of for neurodivergent people to get told by their parents that their experiences are universal and therfore "not a big deal", and for it to turn out that their parents have some signs of neurodivergence themselves and just never got diagnosed. I of course don't know if that's the case here, but I want you to know that regardless of her reasons to tell you your experiences are universal—whether she also went through that and never had it acknowledged or she's saying it to gaslight you and make you question yourself—her behaviour is still neglectful. And you deserved so much better than to be made to feel like you're making things up, exaggerating and talking over others when all you did was ask for help with your personal struggles.

Sending a giant hug your way ❤️

[acerine]

Can I request a naruto x reader? Where she’s apart of team 7 and her and naruto was dating but they fight and break up. Which causes her to get depressed and develop an eating disorder and everyone gets worried when she shows up to train bc she looks sickly and her bones stick out badly. Just angst with happy ending? (You don’t have to write it if you’re uncomfortable with this topic. I suffer from anorexia and it’s hard to find stories on this topic. I do understand if you don’t wanna write it)

Hold Me

Pairing: Naruto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, eating disorder, like one cuss word

A/N: I don't have a problem with writing about disorders but I just get worried that i’m not portraying them properly, please reach out to someone if you are suffering. aaaand that ending wasn't as happy as I wanted but I think it works. 

I don't have much knowledge on anorexia so im so sorry if I didn't write about it properly. 

masterlist

uzumaki naruto

You groaned and plopped yourself on a bench near the entrance to the village, exhausted from the search for your boyfriend. He had dashed off immediately after training was finished without a word to you; again. You were getting worried due to how often this was happening, especially worried because he had been speaking to you less -- the only time you really saw him was during Team 7 training. You had asked Sasuke and Kakashi if they knew where he was going but they seemed to be just as clueless as you.

Looking up and seeing the sun set, you decided it was time to head home. He’d tell you whatever was troubling him eventually; you could only hope at least. “Nope -- don’t doubt him, he's never given you a reason to.” you softly mumbled to yourself, but the creeping heaviness in your heart told you otherwise.

As you walked through the village you felt your stomach grumble, the exhaustion from training and searching finally catching up to you. You decided to stop by Ichiraku’s -- it was on the way to your house and their ramen is rejuvenating, especially after gruesome training with Sasuke. shudder. He certainly gives training his all, the developing bruises were proof of that.

“Naruto that’s your 3rd bowl!” a voice giggled, bringing you back to reality.

Did they just say Naruto? Of course your boyfriend would be here! Why didn't you think of checking Ichiraku’s first? You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked towards the voices, excited to finally see your boyfriend and share some ramen with him. But you certainly weren't expecting to see your boyfriend with his arm around Sakura nor did you expect to see how close their faces were

...

“Naruto...what are you doing?” your voice cracked slightly. Naruto and Sakura both halted their movements. Slowly he turned his head to gaze at you, “W-What are you doing here Y/n?”

Sakura looked guilty and avoided your gaze; immediately letting you know that she was aware of your relationship and what she was doing. “No seriously, what are you doing here with her?” you forced out, the strain in your voice becoming less evident, your anger overpowering your sadness.

“I was just catching up with Sakura, I haven't seen her since she started working with the other medical ninja!” He yelled out in an attempt to defend himself, his eyes darting away from you to his bowl. “Y/n calm down...it’s not what it looks like.” Sakura softly spoke. You scoffed, “Then why cant either of you look at me?”

No response.

After a minute of silence you had had enough, “Okay well don't stop on my behalf. Have fun with Sakura, Naruto.” Turning around, you began to walk away before feeling a grip on your upper arm, “Wait what's that supposed to mean?”

“Im pretty sure you know what it means.” Ripping your arm away from his grasp you sluggishly began your walk home, your body in pain from training and from your aching heart.

...

You closed the door behind you, locking it, and diving face-first onto your couch. The events from before finally registering in your head. Soft sobs began to fill the empty room and the couch pillows became stained with tears. What did she have that you didn't? You knew he used to have a crush on her when he was younger but you thought he outgrew it. Hell, you thought she had a crush on Sasuke, since when has she been interested in Naruto? Your mind was filled with questions.

Your stomach grumbled once again, this time louder than before. You didn't have the energy to get up and make yourself anything -- you weren't even sure if you even had food at home. Moving into a sitting position you glanced at the kitchen before getting up and heading to your room, you could eat in the morning after you slept off today’s events.

...

You woke up and slowly got ready for training; not mentally prepared to face Naruto after your break up. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of his name -- making you aware of how difficult training was going to be. You sighed and began to make your way to the training grounds, taking a look at the kitchen. The last time you ate was yesterday morning but you felt fine, although the painful growl said otherwise. Shaking your head, you moved towards the door and left.

...

Naruto hadn’t showed up to training today. Kakashi said he had gone on a year training mission with Jiraiya. How convenient. They could both tell something was off between you two. “How about we cancel practice today? I think we deserve a day off.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at Kakashi, “And what are we supposed to do while you read a crappy book?”

“How about you two be actual teenagers for once?” Kakashi grumbled before heading off, leaving you and Sasuke alone with nothing to do. “Well since the moron and Kakashi aren’t here do you want to train with me?” Sasuke was pretty hardcore when it came to training — seriously, this kid did not know how to hold back. Training was life or death with him but you didn’t know what else you could possibly do on your free time other than wallow in your self pity, so you agreed.

Yeah, let’s just say you were better off moping in your room.

...

Your body felt so weak from training, the only fuel being emitted into your body came from a banana. You were constantly burning away calories and weren’t eating enough to refill them but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat a proper meal. After finding Naruto and Sakura 12 months ago, you hadn’t felt hungry. Sure your body was weak and your stomach growled occasionally but you weren’t hungry. You hated how everyone said otherwise.

“Y/N are you sure you’re not hungry? You’re starting to look like a pile of bones...”

“Seriously, i think you should eat something.”

“Your movements are becoming sluggish, fix it.”

It was all you heard now. You felt fine. You looked fine. Why was everyone freaking out? Was it because you lost a bit of weight?!

Annoyed, you began to make your way to the meet Kakashi and Sasuke. Today would be the day Naruto returned and you just wanted to get it over with. Once you arrived all you were met with the usual concerned gazes from Kakashi, an indifferent Sasuke, but now you were met with a new pair of eyes. He looked good. Really good. 

Fuck, you couldn’t do this. “You know what...i’m not feeling too hot right now so i’m going to head on home.” Your words tumbling out as you spun around, ready to return the way you came. But your legs crumbled from underneath you, too weak to fully support you anymore. You could hear Kakashi and Sasuke’s cries of concern but you couldn’t focus on them, you could only focus on the one person you didn’t want to. “Woah, what’s wrong?!” Came his frantic voice — his arms capturing your frame before you could fully hit the ground.

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

You knew he could feel your bones, your oversized shirt no longer able to hide your secret. His eyes hardened before picking you up and carrying you to your house. You felt so tired and it felt like this was a dream. Everything was so hazy and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. Did you actually collapse at the training field or did you hallucinate that? You couldn’t tell anymore.

But his hold on you felt real. His scent smelled real. What was he doing carrying you, you two broke up because he decided to get cozy with another girl.

Before you knew it you were being laid on your bed, “I’m going to go get some food, just...wait for me okay?” His voice cracked. Why did his voice crack? “Yeah uh okay...” Why were you agreeing to what he was saying? You watched as he walked away from your room, “What is going on?” you softly mumbled to yourself, attempting to regain your sense of reality. Staring up at the ceiling, you didn’t realize how much you changed in the year that you two broke up. Yeah okay maybe you lost some weight, and maybe you only left your room when it was time for training or missions, but was it really that odd? 

You saw Naruto coming back into your room and sat on the bed -- it dipping under his sudden weight. He had made you some soup, surprisingly not ramen, and held the spoon up to your lips, “Eat it.” You couldn't bring yourself to argue with him so you complied. The only sounds surrounding you two were the clanging of the spoon against the bowl and your small gulps. Your stomach felt warm, you had forgotten the feeling of a full stomach. 

A choked sob captured your attention. You looked up away from the bowl held in front of you and saw the tears streaming down your ex-boyfriend’s face. “Im sorry for doing this to you. I wouldn't have left if I knew this would happen.” His voice shakily cried out. You didn't know what to do, was your condition really that bad? He set the bowl onto your nightstand and cradled your cheek, his other hand wiping at his tears. “I’m so sorry.” He continuously cried out. 

The hand on your cheek felt warm, it was nice. Both of his hands now wiped at your cheeks, you hadn't realized you were crying but he was wiping your tears away for you. 

Maybe you were broken, maybe it was his fault, who could say? You pulled him into the bed with you and he held you in his arms -- he made you feel like you would be okay, he made you feel safe again. Sure you two had a long way to go before you could trust him but for now you were happy just being with him. Like it was before that day last year. 

“Please just hold me.”

[elizabeatrice]

Feeling Blue, Seeing Red (Chapter 69)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #5

Updated: 19/8/2020 (more thoughts)

Bea is back with the lame punny titles~

Warning: !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 69 !!! Duh.

Soooo I opened the raws this morning. Saw the spicy and went 'ohh shoot'. Then some of y'all say that some folks are hating Akane bc of this chap. I proceeded to panic, because fandom war is scary af. So I translated the chap for myself. And I just gotta say:

Aoi, Nene, your boyfriends are idiots. Y'all gonna be punching and headbutting the idiocy out of them for the rest of your lives and I'll be willing to pay for your karate classes.

The teen drama made me laugh so hard ahahahaha I guess this is what you get for hoping sensei will drop a bomb this month lmaoooo.

P.S. Teru you little shit

Man I don’t even know where to begin. This chapter is oozing doraaaaama and I can’t take it seriously no matter how much I try. I remember thinking, “Shoot, this is the ‘I hate you, I hate you too, proceed to make out’ trope in JSHK’s classic ‘oooh serious moment, eh? PSYCHE!’ style,” before bursting into laughter.

I swear I’m not making fun of it.

Because it’s already fun to begin with. Ahahahaha.

I do however, take seriously the long-awaited insight into Aoi’s mind. I hollered in joy, y’all. ‘Cause like ... finally!

(Also like ... ngl the development of Aoi and akaoi in this arc might come into play in my Shrek AU. Pls don’t ask. Yet. That’s not the official AU name I swear I just wanna confuse my readers ahahaha)

Back when chapter 64 came out I wrote something that was supposed to be the first of the Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga series but I ended up not posting it because I wasn’t sure about a bunch of things. Here’s an excerpt from that post, titled ‘Aoi and Her Blues’:

I mean, what did the minions do to her? ‘Remove unnecessary things’. Someone said they removed her inhibitions (I’m terribly sorry I forgot who said this because it’s been so long so I can’t put the link here, but if you know, feel free to send me the link).

But she has to be brainwashed, right?

She remembered enough about Nene. Enough to call her out on her feelings (that she still denies btw lol) and recognize Hanako from Nene’s wonderful description (or because Aoi could see him all this time and never said anything, who knows?).

Most importantly, she remembered Akane.

So apparently they weren’t unnecessary enough to be erased from her memory. Which I’d beg to differ if I were going to make this girl willingly sacrifice herself.

Would she let her best friend fall down into a pit full of giant insects, or let her childhood friend get impaled? I mean this is the same girl that cried when Akane and Yamabuki got together (by accident) and when Nene started talking to herself like a madwoman.

So yeah. Definitely brainwashed. Pretty sure now.

The one thing that bugged me is what she said though.

“I’ve always wanted to go somewhere far away.”

“Nothing will stop me from getting my wish.”

Btw these aren’t accurate word for word I’m just drawing from memory.

Is that a wish forced upon her by the brainwashing, or has Aoi been depressed all this time and ... y’know, therefore thought about ‘going far away’? I’m personally leaning more towards the first, but it still got me thinking.

Remember back in The Clock Keeper arc when she said there was something she wanted to tell Nene?

Can some creepy hands showing up in the gardening club’s album photos really warrant that kind of expression? Is it just me who got disappointed when the thing she wanted to tell Nene ended up being just that?

But if she did have such thoughts, why?

Maybe she was lonely? I mean Nene got so busy with supernatural shenanigans. Akane’s busy with student council stuff (and school wonder stuff). Though I don’t doubt for a second that he’d drop everything for Aoi, but Aoi’s not the kind of person to do that. And to be honest, I feel like so far Aoi hasn’t been shown having genuine interaction with anyone aside from Nene and Yamabuki without the other person being completely enamored by her. And even with Yamabuki that was just in that After School chapter.

So I guess my hunch wasn’t that far off. Still though. Still though. Is she or is she not brainwashed? Because as much as Aoi likes-but hates-but actually kinda likes Akane, I still don’t think she’s the type of person to stab her childhood friend until he’s got a hole through his fucking torso.

Throwing Nene into the bug pit I guess makes more sense if Aoi knew all along that the pit won’t lead anywhere too dangerous, and that Hanako wouldn’t leave Nene’s side. Nene’s perfectly safe with him. Sorta. She did get kidnapped and were about to be sacrificed after all. But heeey Hanako still showed up to save her in the end.

Stabbing Akane like that tho? Even if she knows he wouldn’t die in a boundary especially in his school wonder form? It just doesn’t feel like Aoi, man.

Then again she did say no one really knows her, and that anyone who does would end up being disappointed in her.

I’m really happy to know that she does not, in fact, appreciate all the attention given to her. Comedy framing aside, constantly having some random guy approach you to ask you out presumably every day is ... annoying at best. Kid deserves better.

So ya girl got some extreme trust issues. Strangers, even Akane and Nene, I could understand. But her dad tho? Is something going on in the Akane household? Bruh ....

How long has Aoi not been able to trust anyone enough to let them get close to her? Because if she’s been feeling like that about Nene all this time, Imma be super sad bruh. Nene is one of the most genuine kids ever (perhaps only second to Kou).

I understand that Aoi’s disappointed because Nene’s been keeping secrets, but honestly, who would believe you if you come up to them and say, “Hey so I summoned a toilet ghost and now I’m stuck as his assistant. The rumors about supernaturals are like, totally real, and can endanger everyone in this school for real, too. Also I turn into fish when I come in contact with water.”

Sensible best friends would either a) not believe you, or b) try to get you as far away from supernatural shit as possible ‘cause hello? Ya ain’t Miles Morales ya can’t just blast What’s Up Danger when monster of the week shows up.

Even if Aoi does let it continue, wouldn’t she wanna get involved? Would Nene let her get involved when Tsukasa’s still around? Ya girl got cursed, thrown off the top of a boundary, sent to literally nowhere and everywhere, almost got her body stolen by mirror monsters, kidnapped and taken into a fake world, and now trapped in literal Grim Reaper’s realm. Honestly, who would involve their best friend in this sort of shit?

It just makes me sad to think that all this time Akane and Nene have genuinely cared about her but she didn’t think they were. Aoi, my girl Nene literally threaded hell boundaries and high shallow water to save you!!!

Unrequited platonic love hurts just as much as romantic ones, y’all ....

Speaking of romantic love.

Hey, uh, Akane. For claiming to despise Hanako and calling him a slimy pervert, y’all kinda act the same way with your respective girlfriends when things get a bit heated up, huh? Even the teasing part.

Boy, you’re dumb af. You deserve that.

There it is y’all, it’s official. We got punches for akaoi and headbutts for hananene.

You deserve this too. But Teru’s face here is really annoying, I’ll give you that. Teru you little shit.

At least you’re finally gonna be useful. Let’s just see.

Hmm I guess I have to address the thing now.

Ahem. The thing. The pushing (pulling?) Aoi down, grabbing her neck thing.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Whether it was a creative choice taken in consideration to the actual character’s state or to just pander to the trope that seems to be marketable in Japan or both, I don’t really know.

I do however, have to remind you that none of these kids are in their right mind. One is possibly still recovering from the effects of brainwashing and dealing with not only extreme trust issues and insecurities, but also the sight of a gaping hole on her childhood friend and perhaps crush’s torso, not to mention having to deal with this in the middle of nowhere. The other one is the said person with a gaping hole on his torso, who almost lost his life-long crush, and even got stabbed by her in the first place.

They’re lost. They’re tired. They’re emotional. They’re frustrated. They’re two hormonal teens.

I think Akane thought Aoi wouldn’t listen to him unless he makes her. Which is why he went with exposing her by saying he hated her. Which is still a dumb move in my opinion. But Aoi rightfully got back at him. And honestly I didn’t think he really hurt her. I mean, it’s Akane after all. *shrugs*

The way I see it, the entire thing was a result from not only their current condition but also the uh ... not telling each other how they really feel all this time. Aoi with her issues, Akane with his secrets. They’re a ticking bomb. It’s horrible that they ended up hurting each other because of this (physically and emotionally), but I could see why it went like this. These two are flawed. Most importantly, they’re teenagers. They’re bound to fuck up in this equation.

Heck, I’ve fucked up worse in less endangering situations before.

But heeey once things get cleared between them they fall right back to each other. Sure things aren’t entirely resolved. But they’re gonna be okay. Teru’s there. Should be fine. Probably.

The thing is we as the audience who come into the story with a clear head can easily figure out the best, most sensible way to deal with the characters’ problems. But these problems affect the characters in (physical, physiological, psychological, emotional) ways most of us can’t immediately empathize with, which can make their bad decisions frustrating for us to see. We know it’s wrong. And when these characters have calmed down and healed, they’ll know that it’s wrong, too. If they’re not dicks, that is.

You know how it feels when you’re fighting with someone, and you know the best thing to do is to talk it out, but you just can’t bring yourself to? It makes things worse, right? And you’re frustrated, right? Unfortunately that’s just how humans are.

Even I let my emotions get the best of me when I judged the villagers’ actions back in chapter 68 hahaha (but I still think they’re awful).

It’s just my opinion tho.

And whooo everyone is officially here but Yamabuki (and Sakura and Tsukasa, but they’re bound to show up)! Catch up soon, my citrus child.

Lastly, I have the moral obligation to remind you that if akaoi’s confrontation ended up like this, imagine how hananene’s would be.

I’ll leave you to your deductions.

As always, feel free to discuss. Just ... don’t fight, onegaishimasu.

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

QUESTION OF THE DAY #6: Send me your most unpopular theatre opinion. Something that might make someone want to fight you. Please don’t be offensive (racist, misogynistic, etc.), but other than that…go as hard as you want. Spill all the tea.

MY ANSWERS: 1) The Pretty Woman score fucking slaps idek, 2) Come From Away (or even Bandstand...) should’ve won the 2017 Best Musical Tony, 3) I prefer the West End Heathers cast album to Off Broadway, 4) Shows shouldn’t sweep the Tonys just because they’re Best Musical worthy...shows that aren’t too critically acclaimed but have really impressive elements should get recognition too.

SUMMARY: Out of 37 responses: 5 were about Dear Evan Hansen, 3 were about Hamilton specifically, 2 were about: Rent, ALW, Wicked, In The Heights, Be More Chill, etc. etc....if your favorite musical is one of these and you get easily offended i wouldn’t read these.

NOTE: I agree with some of these, I highly disagree with others. I do not endorse any of the things that were said, I am simply sharing them with you all. These were what was sent to me. I’m going to number them so if you want to complain about or agree with one you can send me an ask with the number you’re referring to. 

1. howmuchchildrens said: unpopular opinion: i really liked the 2012 version of les mis. i liked russel crowe as javert.

2. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Bootlegs harm to local theatre communities, though I do not believe anyone intends for that to be the case. While it's possible to bootleg responsibly (and I might even say it's beneficial to do so), those who may not know the intricacies of theatrical copyright law or who haven't heard the horror stories from a theatre that's been hit with legal action DUE to a bootleg may record or watch a show irresponsibly, which can greatly harm other routes of theatre accessibility.

3. Anonymous said: Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals are mostly terrible. He only got and stayed popular because a lot of other musical creators and taste makers died in the AIDS epidemic

4. Anonymous said: Almost all musicals using the songs of one artist are cash grabs with no plot or point.

5. Anonymous said: If your musical only has 1 woman OR the women only get sad/romantic songs you need to do something else with your life.

6. nerdshrimp said: Unpopular opinion: Next To Normal does a better job of portraying the effects of mental illness than Dear Evan Hansen does. N2N also doesn't romanticise mental illness & excuse shitty behavior like DEH tries to

7. Anonymous said: Hadestown is a lesser show on Broadway. I fell in love with the live album, and I was so excited for it to come to Broadway. I was so disappointed to see the changes they made. Orpheus and Eurydice's relationship is less interesting and more generic. The changed lyrics are often sloppy and not as good as the original. They fucking wrecked Epic III. Also, no hate to R/ee/ve, but he's just not a good enough singer to convince me that he could soften the heart of Hades. His high notes are awful.

8. Anonymous said: opinion: we are the tigers deserves a broadway run or at least a proshot

9. bimystique said: e/c is NOT A GOOD FUCKING SHIP. the ENTIRE PLOT OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is christine trying to escape erik's abuse. WHAT FUCKING PART OF THAT IS ROMANTIC TO YOU PEOPLE.

10. Anonymous said: unpopular theatre opinion(s): Dear Evan Hansen is Very Bad for its handling of mental illness, Hamilton is overrated and praised too much, and high school/college musical theatre programs can be just as good as Broadway. (also, musical movies would be better if they hired broadway actors, but that's not an unpopular opinion)

11. Anonymous said: I don’t like Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton is overrated

12. Anonymous said: I don’t like dear Evan Hansen..... at all. I think it’s kind of boring and really overhyped.

13. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion: in the heights is far better than Hamilton. both are good but ith hits different yknow

14. Anonymous said: The bring it on and legally blonde musicals are BAD! The movies are 100 times better

15. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion? wicked is the epitome of white feminism. it's preached as super great for representation but we literally got the first black glinda in 2019?!?!?!? and before that woc could only play elphaba who's villainized and deemed evil by the whole city

16. Anonymous said: Not so much an opinion as a reaction, but of all Lin's works (ITH, Bring it On, 21 Chump Street, Hamilton), 21 Chump Street gets the biggest emotional reaction of all the cast recordings. The second Justin is like "I don't want your money" (And then later on with the "...what the heck did you.... dooooo", I am a complete goner. Worse than Abuela Claudia and Philip Hamilton's deaths combined

17. Anonymous said: Whenever Je.ssie Mu.eller hits certain notes, she sounds like Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

18. Anonymous said: aotd6: not everyone knows what im talking about, but the cats 2016 broadway revival choreography was WAYYYY better than the original. the original had a lot of creepy uncomfortable moments and the new one looks way cleaner and up to date

19. Anonymous said: raoul is better than the phantom in every conceivable way

20. Anonymous said: I hate Anastasia so much. it's such a boring show and the music is uninteresting. I wanted to like it so bad but GOD is it boring.

21. Anonymous said: In the Heights.... Overrated.

22. Anonymous said: I do not know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but here is my opinion: Musicals that are entirely or nearly entirely songs (Hamilton, Hadestown, In The Heights, etc) are the most valid bc I can understand the plot without using wikipedia (I'm looking at you, Jagged Little Pill, I love you but what is your plot????)

23. Anonymous said: I'd rather have a bad film adaptation than no film adaptation

24. Anonymous said: Rent sucks and while it was a stepping stone for more ""controversial"" topics to appear on Broadway it's actually biphobic and features several generally terrible people doing generally terrible things and doesn't actually address the real crisis at all; it's all performative wokeness. The only real good it did was cast a bunch of "nobodies" for the time and make theater somewhat more accessible.

25. stardust-and-seas said: Dear Evan Hansen doesn't properly address mental health despite being about mental health and resolves nobodies character arcs satisfactorily. It's another show that reaches its hands around the throats of marginalized teenagers saying "look I'm relatable!!" The songs taken out of context are significantly more powerful than when placed in the context of the show, which gives us exactly zero evidence of Evan's work to improve and also never resolves Evan's u healthy goals in the first place.

26. stardust-and-seas said: Be More Chill is a raging dumpster fire and the only decent song from it, Michael in the Bathroom, reads as a whiny rich white boy whose potential social anxiety and depression is left ambiguous, which is exactly what it is. When taken out of context it better exemplifies the othering that happens to marginalized groups but lets be real here: bullying/cliques don't happen to "just anyone"; it's the marginalized groups that are othered and abandoned for not being "normal"

27. stardust-and-seas said: There's a difference between shows that don't take themselves seriously because they're meant to be fun and light and shows that pretend not to take themselves too seriously but want to be taken seriously by the audience and the latter always ends up mediocre at best

28. redueka said: i think that dear evan hansen handles every issue it presents badly. i also think that beetlejuice was badly directed

29. Anonymous said: Well I don’t EVER condone cheating, I’m team Jamie in the last five years. He tried so hard to make their relationship and life good, and Cathy gave him nothing in return

30. youcanlolyoucansayohwell said: The answer of the day- I don't get the BMC hype. I'm out of the age bracket it's meant for that might it be. I enjoy it but I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world like some theatre fans do.

31. Anonymous said: i like the rent 2005 recording better than the obcr

32. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion ? : the music of wicked just like isn’t that good. like it’s good but it’s not like, Good, yknow. it’s pretty standard it doesn’t stand out to me. kinda boring

33. Anonymous said: mari.ah r.ose fa.ith is not a good regina george. everything she says sounds monotonous and while i understand she's trying to play off the ""whatever"" teenager (she does this a lot with her teenage characters), 90% of the time she sounds and looks like she doesn't want to be there; her voice is great but most songs feel unnatural and forced and she changes them too much. she's just not selling regina to me as a believable character (this is all from a technical point of view)

34. Anonymous said: Unpopular Opinion: as much as i like musicals based on movies (like waitress), i think not every movie needs to be a musical.

35. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion (?) the emojiland musical Kinda Slaps

36. Anonymous said: as one of my high school tech theatre teachers once said: "Andrew Lloyd Webber is overrated"

37. Anonymous said: sorry to whoever likes it but Seussical is an absolutely nonsense crackpot plot disguised with okay-to-good music, like I don't even know where to start. I was in the show and didn't even know there was an entire secondary plot line featuring sending children to war until we were halfway through rehearsals

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired]

some p!g-drv3 theories (spoilers obvi)

First of all I think people demonize the pg versions wayyy too much because its a good way to be le sexy in like fanfictions. And i get it, villains are hot or whatever. and also hs is a horny age to be. But even the edgiest and horniest of teens aren’t like. that sexual/monstrous. its kind of insane the portrayals people are placing

maybe this could also be like me being older bc when i was early hs i was like yea its fair to place these super mature portrayals on a 18-22 year old they are like adults but young and now im that age and im like woah there pardner. might be an age/maturity thing. 

also like its normal for people to relate to and portray characters their same age in a similar fashion, but when adults write more sexual content about the dg kids i get hella fucking sus

idk where i was going with that first comment i guess its like a preface and in the end i think its important when characters especially teenage characters are morally grey not because they’re mature and dark/brooding but because they are still young and learning. fuck im older than like most of them, but im still young and learning. its good to be in turmoil and confused, especially the drv3 cast. they are more confused than anything.

which i think is a reason why people would join dr because if you are completely loss and in turmoil, it is appealing to be given a purpose in life and amazing talents/abilities. despite the morals of danganronpa, it is a simple reality to be told who you are and what to do

OK ONTO HEADCANONS (not doing all bc i dont have thoughts about all)

first of all i understand changing stories but i think, deep down, you can’t change fundamental personalities/values. so while the backstories might be different i think, in the end, a baseline is always the same

SHUICHI being a Bad Boy is like canon obviously but i dont think he’s as manipulative as people make him out to be. i think he falls in the more the bully role that like. mae borowski or tf2′s scout filled before they grew up. rough background, bad anger issues, lots of emotional turmoil, and the only way he knows how to deal with shit is by committing crimes and beating the shit out of people. and, similar to those characters, drv3 represents an older, more emotionally sober yet equally confused version of himself. the urges are still there as foreshadowed in the dialogue. i think he struggles with guilt, mostly survivors, but there is still a lasting impact of guilt of what he did in his past, even if he can’t remember.

KOKICHI is a child. a piece of shit motherfucker child but a child. I really do think he’s like one of the youngest people in the cast. he reminds me a lot of when my brother doesn’t take his adhd medicine and takes jokes way too far and does mean and cruel things because he thinks its funny and that its just a fun joke, but is hurting people. he desperately wants approval, which is why his leader role is so interesting because in the dr narrative he has the approval he craves and so he is satisfied. still, he does try to impress characters like rantaro and values his opinions a lot, even developing a brotherly relationship in the time they knew each other. this being said, its established kokichi was bullied before, but i dont think he’s like. the wimp people make him out to be. i think he’s more of like the class clown who desperately uses humor to make people like him, and ends up resorting to be the butt of most of his jokes. you don’t just develop a good sense of humor out of a brainwash, and that’s not something you can program in. i think that was a remnant of before, and he’s so good at bullying people and coming up with roasts - i just think that in p!g the roasts were about him.

KAEDE is baby but her p!g personality seriously reminds me of any ~quirky/edgy~ girl in a teen coming of age story who tries to be edgy and cool and act like she doesn’t care but deep down, she really does. if she didn’t have an empathetic personality, she wouldn’t want to end the game. i also think she has that self-identifying QuIrKy personality because its like she lives in her own narrative, practically announcing this story is about her and she is the protagonist. i know i used to self narrate like that and distinguish how i was different when i was like. 15-16. she has a tumblr. 

I really like the theory where KAITO is a make-a-wish kid who was better when he was younger but relapses later in teens. he never used his wish before, so he decides to use it now to be on danganronpa and become the hero he always wanted to be. i also think he might have joined as a way to raise awareness about adolescent healthcare. definitely the type who puts on a “heroic” character to make everyone else feel better about the fact he is literally dying of a terminal illness, and keeps that act up till the end. 

i think KOREKIYO is still a serial killer. i think honestly a reason why he mightve auditioned for danganronpa is because he is a serial killer. maybe his sister found out and he felt so much shame that’s why he auditioned. he probably mentioned why in his interview because duh, tell them im a serial killer and then only reason im coming clean is my sister found out and im ashamed, that is like a guarantee to get on the show.  i LOVE the theory that his sister is still alive, however, and has to watch her brother go insane because they wrote her into the story as the villain. because technically, she brought on this guilt, and is the reason why he auditioned - as a way to cause despair, twist it around so she’s the one to blame for his insanity. also, because its pretty accepted DR members become celebrities, kork’s sister is totally bombarded with paparazzi and is demonized in the media. she might end up writing a tell-all memoir about kork’s actual childhood and personality. quiet kid, thoughtful, interested in anthropology, she never thought he’d hurt a fly. watching her brother go insane probably destroyed her. 

I also think, timeline wise, kork is probably one of the oldest members along with rantaro. tbh i think kork actually graduated hs and went on a gap year doing the whole “hitchhike around the world to discover myself thing” which is where he began killing people. he was getting ready to go to college when his sister found out about what he did. this is when he decided to go on danganronpa instead of university. this would help explain why he knows so much about other cultures/travel/been so many places with so many memories/killed/is knowledgable on a level most other students are not. this would place him at like, 20-21, where everyone else is like 15-18.

ok so there’s two p!g RANTARO, p!g before 53 and p!p!g before 52. i’d like to establish now i think rantaro is the oldest of the characters, seeing as though he was already pretty old to begin with in 52, it takes time between television seasons, and he was in another game. so im placing him like 21-23, similar to yasuhiro in d1 being so much older than everyone else. i do think, in all iterations, rantaro was pretty much raising his sisters, though i don’t think he had twelve like the story (i think that’s an exaggeration, his sisters mean a lot to him, lets make him have a TON and then lose them all and feel GUILTY) rantaro joined the first game, partially to get money for his family and hopefully establish them as celebrities and let them have a comfy lifestyle, even if he doesn’t live...and also to finally ahve some sort of experience without his siblings tagging along. if he’s been raising his sisters all his life, he’s never had like something that’s JUST his. that’s his adventure. 52 is his ULTIMATE adventure. ahaha. mostly for money, kind of dreading it, still a tiny bit excited

ok p!g rantaro between 52 and 53 probably came back broken. he did the signings and appearances, but mostly wanted to spend time with his family and make sure they were set up. i think he knew the whole like few months between seasons he had to go on another show, but he did’t tell his sisters. his family found out when they saw a billboard with his face plastered on it hyping up the return of a fan favorite. yikes!

ok i get it a lot of people hate HIMIKO but i think she’s not nearly as similar as other “useless” characters in other games. its like, pretty clear she’s depressed, and the only thing she’s holding onto with dear life is magic. lack of hygiene, lack of personal care, constantly tired, social interaction exhausts - she has depression, but she’s not an UWU depressed character. so people find her depressive traits (which are some of the most realistic portrayals of mental health in the series) SUPER annoygin. she joined dr because she was completely lost and needed some sort of direction in her life, even if she’ll die for it. the thing is, even with direction, her mental state didn’t change because she wasn’t getting legitimate help. it’s like that one SNL skit that’s like. same sad you from before but in a new place. i also think she knows the magic is not real, because how could she not. i think she’s so adamant that it IS real, less as a way to convince others, and more of a way to convince herself. it’s like really super cruel that team danganronpa took a girl who is desperate for meaning and gave her literally a meaningless, fake talent.

i also kin himiko and find her a comfort character because i feel seen by her, replacing her useless talent of magic with mine of like shitty film making and comedy. i am seen.

related i don’t think she’s nearly as ugly as everyone says she is, i think she’s probably just depressed and takes absolutely no care of her hygiene and sleep and looks like sick and greasy all the time. same queen.

honest to god i think RYOMA’s backstory, tennis and all, is like 100% real and he’s the only one who keeps all of his memories except for the fact this is a tv show. i think he rolled up, a hot fucking mess, and the danganronpa team were like damn. we cannot improve upon this. 

[eijiroukiriot]

i don’t have a fancy name for it or anything but this is my kirishima playlist

I posted about my krbk playlist a little while ago but since it’s Boy Day I wanted to finally post about my solo Kirishima playlist too!! The only other thing I have to say is that I Love The Boy and that’s what this playlist is for :) 

Spotify Link

song descriptions under the cut!

(bc of how i want to format the explanations, this list will be out of order with the actual playlist but that doesn’t actually matter that much!)

i. Teenage Icon - The Vaccines 

“Oh look at me, so ordinary

No mystery with no great capabilities”

-I guess it’s pretty fitting to start the list off with a very Middle School Kirishima kinda song! Something I really love about this one is that it’s very steeped in this idea that “oh I’m not great, I’ve been blown up my whole life but I’m really nothing special, I should just stop pretending to be” but then the choruses and the bridge are so upbeat that it feels like it’s made peace with it! Maybe even like it’s celebrating it? Like, this isn’t wallowing in self hatred, it’s an anthem and I feel like it’s the kind of thing Kirishima would listen to in middle school and think “yeah, I’m not special, so what, who cares” 

ii. Whatta Man - I.O.I 

the one w the classic “whatta man whatta man whatta man” hook but a kpop song

-as kirishima is the only boy alive, this song talking about a very good man must be dedicated to him

-put in the ioi ver instead of the classic one bc i love girls 

iii. Embers - Owl City

“And we'll watch the sky as it fills with light

And though the embers are new, whatever you do just don't let the fire die” 

-Something you are gonna learn very quickly about me is that I Love Owl City 

-A lot of Owl City songs are about overcoming hard times and facing forward and this one hits me more than a lot of other generic Encouraging Songs because “don’t let the fire die” feels like such a genuine sentiment, like more than “you’re a firework” or whatever because it encapsulates the idea of “this is your decision to make and something you’re gonna have to put in the effort but you can turn your life around, you don’t have to hate yourself, you can make the decision not to” which I feel is a very Kirishima sentiment

iv. I’m Gay - Bowling For Soup 

“It sells records when you're sad these days, it's super cool to be mad these days -

I think rock and roll is really funny when it's serious” 

-now. there is the very obvious meaning here

-But mostly this feels like a very Kirishima-ish song to me since it’s all about getting out of the “everything sucks and talking about that all the time makes you cool” mentality and not taking things so seriously, focusing on the positives and trying to make other people happy too!

v. I’ll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan

(picking a lyric to express kirishima in this one feels dumb when all you need to see this as a Him song is to imagine him belting it out) 

-the 12 year old that still lives somewhere inside of me and spent hours watching videos w titles like Total Drama Character Theme Songs on youtube is Extremely proud of herself for this one 

vi. The Squip Song - BMC 

“Freshman year, I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue

I was a loser, just like you”

-Look the fact of it is this song has extreme Kirishima Energy and to convince you of that I could write a lot of stuff or I could just link you the animatic I made please watch it I worked very hard

-Lyrical content aside I think the funky guitar and the horns and the amount of screaming in this song are Very kirishima 

vii. Fiji Water - Owl City 

“If I only knew then what I know now, I’d stand like a one man band, and I’d say

‘All this is new to me, but here’s how it’s gonna be - there is more to me than meets the eye” 

-owl city part 2! It’s about him seeing himself as a regular kid but getting called by a record label and flown out to talk about a record deal, and it’s cast in this light of “I didn’t see myself as much then and I was surprised it could all happen to me” but trying to make the most of it anyway, which reminds me a lot of Kirishima still doubting himself but getting to UA anyway

-The last line “I laughed when I got back home and I thought, ‘there’s no such thing as luck’” is my absolute favorite part of the song and when I imagine that as kirishima getting home after crushing the entrance exam and falling face-first onto his bed laughing...well! a bitch is soft!

viii. I Wanna Meet Richard Dreyfuss - Gabriel Gundacker (the guy who made the “you are my dad” vine)

“Hello, don’t mean to interrupt your flow

But I’ve got something you need to know, and it’s very specific, so here we go:

I wanna meet Richard Dreyfuss” 

-This song is from an album dedicated to a fan’s process of wanting to meet, NEEDING to meet, giving up on, trying to forget about, (brief intermission about saddles as he forgets about), apologizing to, finally meeting, and saying a satisfied goodbye to Richard Dreyfuss and it’s one of my favorite albums of all time

-At first I just thought the song sounded pretty Kirishima in terms of earnest effort and slightly-soulful high notes but then someone sent me an ask like “WHY IS THE RICHARD DREYFUSS SONG ON YOUR KIRISHIMA PLAYLIST” and I realized it would totally make sense for Kirishima to write an entire album about wanting to meet Crimson Riot, so, checkmate 

ix. Angel, Please - Ra Ra Riot 

“Long as I feel I can tell the danger did it - oh, you guard yourself, you do

I wasn't hurt but I know you're the curse, I know you were” 

-i am not gonna lie the first time i heard this song I just wanted so so badly to make it abt kirishima bc 1) album cover is red 2) band name has riot in it

-Anyway so after a month of listening to it w that mindset I can say pretty confidently that this song makes me think of Kirishima’s big fat crush on bkg so really it should be in the krbk playlist instead of this one but I do what I want 

x. Beautiful Times - Owl City

“My heart's burning bad and it's turning black but I'm learning how to be stronger” 

-Owl City part 3 :)

-This one is the most focused on the dark side of things and the “struggling through the depression” angle but I really do think the ending is a beautiful sentiment and that line up there reminds me of him

-I feel like...things never get easy right away and there’s always gonna be some doubt there no matter how good you feel, and the only thing we can do about that is to keep trying to make things better

Songs that are also in my krbk playlist which I wrote about here that I won’t describe at length again but that I mostly associate with Kirishima: 

xi. Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

xii. Kimi Janakya Dame Mitai - Masayoshi Oishi

xiii. Knock Three Times - Tony Orlando & Dawn 

xiv. If You Wanna - The Vaccines 

xv. Slayers - Matt Fishel (I do want to say that this one is a big one bc it literally feels like what Kirishima would come up with if he tried to write bkg a song) 

xvi. I’m Totally Obsessed With Him - Matt Fishel 

xvii. Television/So Far So Good - Rex Orange County

xviii. Mamma Mia - ABBA

Aaaand, songs that all remind me of Kirishima just because they’re bops filled with loud, boisterous, cheerful, and at times comedic Kirishima Energy:  

xix. Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy

xx. Flyers - Bradio 

xxi. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

xxii. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

xxiii. Sincerely Me - Dear Evan Hansen

xxiv. Uptown Funk - Bruno Mars

[watuplindsey]

hey!

so.. it’s been a loooong while since i’ve been on here. probably the longest it’s ever been.

i remember making this tumblr in 8th grade because a friend made me make one just for funsies. and i was o b s e s s e d. i was an angsty teenager who just needed an outlet for her thoughts, as all teenagers do. but i remember spending hours and hours all day and staying up all night on this stupid website just looking at aesthetic, sad, funny, relatable posts. i documented my struggles through high school and a bit through college, i went through my first best friend breakup, 2 relationships, and now in my 3rd. and tumblr has been there for all of that. i pretty much grew up on here.

i look back at the posts i made/reblogged and sometimes i think “damn, she really went through it.” And i say “she” because i feel like i don’t even know who the old me was anymore, i feel like a totally different person now. but admittedly, i was pretty depressed in high school. those were some really really rough times. high school in and of itself is a really tough time for teenagers to go through, and i’m proud i made it out of there, because at times i didn’t think i was going to make it out. i was dealing with some seriously depressive, suicidal thoughts and my anxiety only perpetuated them. but i think about my high school years a lot, and it gives me a reminder of how strong i was and how strong i can be.

college was really difficult too, my anxiety sky rocketed to its full form during this time. so bad that i couldn’t even leave my room, not even to go to the bathroom or kitchen to eat. i think about these years a lot and although it really hasn’t been too long since then, sometimes i feel a lot of regret with who i decided to be in college. my first year felt so free and i really thought i’d discovered myself. but boy did my life take a turn the rest of the 3 years after a falling out with a friend, and i shut down. i retreated from my social life, and turned my attention to my then-boyfriend who really didn’t deserve to brunt all my emotion and anxiety. even being in my own apartment gave me anxiety, but at not fault to my housemates, and i hope they don’t blame themselves, or think i didn’t like them, i was just really going through it. but my last year of college i left my relationship, moved out, shaved my head and decided to just let myself go and allow myself to just start over. and i finally felt free again.

and this is about to sound cheesy as fuck, but whatever because they’re my true thoughts: i really owe it to tumblr for being there for me when no one else was. as toxic as tumblr was/is, and probably only perpetuated my dark thoughts, that toxicity really helped me through my emotions. i didn’t feel as alone because there were people out there feeling the same shit i was feeling. other people’s art and posts validated how i felt, and helped put my confusing emotions into words that i didn’t know how to express. if i was ever sad, i knew i could just hop on tumblr to give me a sense of comfort. it was my secret place to thought dump. but i’ve learned ways to cope with my emotions and feelings now, and find myself NOT running back to tumblr anymore for comfort, and i think that really shows my growth.

it’s been 8 full years since i made this account. i’m 23, i now have a full-time job living in the bay, in a happy and healthy relationship, living with my siblings whom i never really had a relationship with growing up and have always yearned to have. i went to therapy, and kinda just picked myself up from there. although i still don’t have very many close friends, and still deal with anxiety (i don’t think that will ever change) i am finally at peace with myself and with who i am. and of course there are still things i am unhappy about or am sad about, but they don’t consume me anymore. i’d never thought in a million years when i was 16 that i would end up where i am, but i’m happy, a word i don’t use lightly.

and so with that, i’ve decided to retire this account, and tumblr in its entirety. i’ve basically retired most of my social media accounts bc social media is toxic and i’ve been way happier without it. but i felt like i needed to put some closure to this account because it’s been a big part of my life. and to anyone who has actually (lol) read any of my posts, thanks for listening! :’) 

(catch me being sad in a few years and hopping back on here.. HA jk.. but am i? guess we’ll have to see)

[isakeijser]

what are your 5 favourite things about skamesp :)

this was really tough because theres so much i do love about skamesp, and i got really sappy in parts and its just Long so if you do read all of it well done but here's why i love skamesp sooo much:

one) probably the fact that they’re willing to make changes. like ofc we have remakes such as druck which change and mess around with s2 and s3 in some small and big ways but the storylines in those seasons mostly stay the same whereas in skamesp a lot of what they write is original. like ofc i’m not saying its totally new, s1 and s2 are still very similar to the og season 1 and 3 but they’re a lot more different then the other remakes and acc keep me guessing at to what is to come, esp in s2

two) the focus on the girl squad/women. the girl squad is soooo good in skamesp you can tell they all love each other and theres acc a basis for why they’re friends. ofc viri says things they don’t agree with sometimes but overall shes a good person who they enjoy spending time with. they make like 5 million group chats (realistic) for each little thing and have all these inside jokes with each other and generally are such a cohesive group of friends i really love it. that as well as skamesp commitment for making sure that each girl gets a plot or some sort of story going on in each season really means we get to know these characters and love them even if they’re not the main. also this is going to be another bullet point but the fact they give cris the isak plot line also helps w the cohesiveness of the girl squad and truly making this remake For Girls

3) the social media. literally god tier... i don’t really think any other remake can compare to the social media of skamesp. they literally edited cris’s icon so that it looked like we were all on cris’s best friend list.... the galaxy brain.... that as well as them using different phones for different characters to reflect their social class? the locked emoji on joanas insta showing that its private but bc we’re in cris’s pov we can see it? the constant insta stories and pictures which keep us updated on the other characters even if we’re not with them. the entire ines and alejandro relationship playing out on social media? literally all of it is so good and i love it.... (also shoutout to the meme video... literally the best thing skamesp has ever done)

4) the isak season going to a girl/wlw/cris/joana. i’ve been meaning to make an independent post about this because i think theres a lot to address but i might as well talk about it a bit here. obviously the original season was very important for a lot of people and gave so many people representation (both for those who are mentally ill/lgbt people) but as we know the show was originally intended for teenage girls, and having isak as the main sort of goes against this idea, and sort of interrupts the flow of the show. we have three seasons about this main core group of five girls, and then one season which can functionally stand independent of the others: it has an entirely different cast, different themes and barely includes the characters we follow for the other seasons. therefore the decision to have cris - one of the girl squad - means the show ends up being more cohesive and truly gives teen girls the representation they deserve. on one level watching isak’s story can be so helpful for those questioning and accepting their sexuality, but if your audience is teen girls, that season should go to someone like themselves and for that i’m very glad skamesp decided to change it. and the acc relationship i adore... the contrasts and similarities between the characters, the growth of cris and joana, the cuddle clip, the reunion clip, 21:21, minute by minute. obviously it took a lot of cues from the og but it has so much original stuff as well and i just love them a lot.... disaster spanish bisexuals gave me rights

5) finally, and a thing i’ve talked about a lot, is the sheer love skamesp has for all the characters and story. ofc skamesp can get really angsty at times (just look at the whole eva situation and cris’s being depressed for like 3 weeks) but fundamentally skamesp loves all its characters and doesn’t like to wallow in the pain. it likes being cheerful and full of love! the forgive me clip is one of my favourites because i was so ready for another week of being sad (if they had followed the og) but instead we get this release of tension and unexpectedly a happy clip!!! it was honestly such a freeing moment, esp because i think around that time druck was also depressing. the fact that skamesp says ‘fuck it’ and lets their characters be happy when other remakes wallow in it.... i just love that for them and it really makes for a more enjoyable experience because i know its going to be okay in the end and the characters will be happy... its truly really healing and warm compared to other remakes i watch

also i would like to give shoutouts to less serious stuff: the ZOOMS in s1 are literally the funniest thing in the world, the fact that they don’t take themselves too seriously, introducing alejandro to ‘alejandro’ by lady gaga, having eva and ines be friends after s1, the sheer comedy of giving joana one outfit and never changing it, developing the viri plotline so much more, actually giving their ‘chris b’ a character rather than purely using her for comic effect, the boy and girl squad being one huge squad since day one, lucas’s youtube channel, the eva/lucas friendship, theres probably more but i think this has got too long 

[thefloatingstone]

lol so romanticizing pedophilia and incest is okay in fandom & no one can criticize this practice or theyre evil but ppl harmlessly claiming to be friends with characters is not? it's "a trend thats not okay" bc it misrepresents DID? hey maybe these ppl were just having a good time pretending & didn't like being attacked for it. also "no art or fanfic came from this trend" what? a lot of ppl who claim headmates had/have galleries and fanfic devoted to this & its what got them drawing/writing.

I’m sorry if you found my description personally insulting. I described the phenomenon as I experienced it vicariously.

My criticism was that yes, the biggest problem is it misrepresents DID, but that’s a simplification. The big problem was that people presented having “a headmate” as something good and positive and something other people should also strive to have. I know I didn’t really go into that but I just found that to be the troubling part about this whole thing. I was a teen at the time and I remember being jealous of people who had headmates, and for a while “strived to cultivate my own” kind of thing? In retrospect not a good thing.

I just feel it’s a misrepresentation the same way depression can be misrepresented as “being sad but only in ways which are still attractive” if you know what I mean. Where having depression is misrepresented as crying a lot and having Deep Thoughts(tm) when the reality is FAR less glamorous. And how representing something like that can make impressionable young people go “oh wow! I wish I could be Deep(tm) and mysterious and sad as well!”.

That’s where the problem lies, you know? presenting something that sounds a LOT like DID as a positive thing that impressionable teenagers on the internet should try and adopt.

Also it’s not really like... pretending to be the characters’ friends, you know? It was much more serious than that. Or at least a lot of people took it VERY seriously, which is why I compared it to the kin community who take kin very very VERY seriously (look up the Final Fantasy House for instance. Or “The Sarah Saga”.

THis isn’t a finger pointing and going “WOW these people are so cringey lol!” this was me trying to explain that, in the early 2000s, this was people who took headmates EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY to the point of being combative, and presenting it to teenagers as a mental state that was attractive and one you should try and adopt and mimic.

I don’t think the “headmates” thing is at the same level nowadays as it was when I was seeing it in my fandoms at the time (around 2005) but I remember the environment at the time was most likely not a good place for teenagers to get drawn into.

My only excuse was I could never “properly create” headmates in the way other people in the fandom were saying they had them.

Anyway, I hope that clears it up a little better?

I’m not making fun or criticising people who love doing self inserts, either romantically or on a friendship level, nor am I criticising people who like to rp the idea or anything along those lines. That’s not what I meant at all.

I am speaking about a very VERY specific group of people, at a point in time that was now 14 years ago (holy fuck I’m old) who were displaying and borderline obsessed with a concept in a way that was genuinely concerning, and their portraying it to other teenagers and young people as attractive. Not people who just enjoy the roleplay/fun side of it who just enjoy envisioning being friends/romantic partners with fictional characters (in fact I hope my blog here on tumblr shows I’m actually a big fan of other people’s self inserts, and I enjoy Reader Insert fics a great amount.) I am referring to the minority who were VERY aggresive about this sort of thing. Again, this was 14 years ago, so it’s difficult to properly explain the fandom environment regarding headmates because it simply does not exist the way it use to back then.

Also sorry about the whole fanfic/fanart/no content thing. I was just wrong in that case if that is so. I merely saw the subject being discussed in forums and such, and did not see it portrayed in any other way that could be distinguished from normal fanart.

Anyway, sorry about the confusion, anon. I hope that clears it up?

tldr; Headmates =/= self inserts. and “there was a minority of people who were a little scary about this kind of thing in the 2000s”

[infantacarlota]

hi guys! here’s carlota’s bio + a list of wanted connections. if you’d like to plot please drop me a message and i’ll find you!!  i’m seldom on the discord server bc i get overwhelmed easily/large group chats stress me out, but i love to chat and plot, in fact i’m a sucker for extensive plotting and i do want a bit of everything for carlota so pls throw any and all ideas you have my way. 

- ̗̀✰ •【 LILY JAMES / FEMALE / 27 】announcing the arrival of her royal highness, ( CARLOTA LUÍSA ISABEL ), the ( INFANTA ) of ( PORTUGAL ). I’ve heard that she is ( IMPULSIVE ) & ( PARANOID ) but can also be ( INTUITIVE ) & ( PASSIONATE ). ( CARLOTA ) is arranged to marry ( MICHIEL HUISMAN, BOB MORLEY, ALFONSO HERRERA ). Rumor has it ( SHE'S THE REASON HER BROTHER THE CROWN PRINCE IS IN A COMA ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!

STATS

name: carlota luísa isabel, house of coimbra, infanta of portugal age: 26 family:

henrique (father, deceased) terezia (mother, deceased) luís (uncle, 52, regent, childless younger brother of henrique)  pedro (brother, 33, in a coma) ____ (brother, 29-31) ____ (brother, 27-29) ____ (brother, 23-24) silvia (sister, 22-23) ____ (brother, 19-20)

relationship status: betrothed to espen jarle lillegarde, crown prince of norway.  language(s) spoken: portuguese (fluent), english (fluent), french (well), spanish (fluent), italian (decently), deutsch(okay-ish), danish (okay-ish) eyes: brown hair: brown physical ailments: not an ailment per se, but she broke her right arm in her youth and it didn't heal properly so it's slightly crooked at the elbow. she's a little self-conscious about it and it aches at times, especially if she has to carry something heavy, but for the moment that's about it. neurological ailments: low key depressed but isn't even close to being aware of it because depression is such a foreign thing to her. this quote explains it nicely:

"Being an extrovert with depression and constantly maintaining a lively personality can sometimes feel like you are lying to the world. It makes depression something only you can deal with, when you can finally take off “the mask” [...] suffering from depression as an extrovert comes down to not being taken seriously. It’s hearing how you must be over-exaggerating your condition because there is no way you can be laughing with friends on the same night you go home and cry yourself to sleep. [...] is knowing that people will make you happy because sometimes being happy by yourself seems like an impossible task. It is having a constant need to be there for everyone but yourself. It is – as crazy as this sounds – feeling as if you aren’t allowed to be depressed [...] You have to be the person people gravitate towards to when they want to have a good time."

smoking: mostly in the past drugs: in the past and here's to hoping it stays there alcohol: in the past: drank a lot and often during her teenage/boarding school years. started drinking way less after that and was primarily a social drinker, but enjoyed a glass of wine every other meal. currently: keeps telling herself she'll have just one or two glasses but ends up drinking the whole bottle. when she's feeling down, it helps her stay bubbly, like people are used to see her. tattoos: pretty much always covered. 1 dainty lavender tattoo under her left breast, 1 small conch shell on the inside of her left arm style: enjoys looking stylish but values comfort above all else. doesn't follow fashion trends but enjoys playing with styles. has worn pant suits, bowties, and ties to several events. she often opts for comfortable flats (even trainers when she was younger) when wearing long dresses that cover her feet.  secret: she’s the reason her brother, the king, is in a coma

personality

sociable, bubbly, energetic, romantic, intuitive, impulsive, kind, compassionate, audacious, youthful, low-key very sad and depressed, curious, passionate, slightly air-headed, well meaning, romantic, at times speaks without thinking, used to be very gullible growing up, insecure, authentic, bad liar, self-deprecating (esp in the past couple years)

BIO (tw: death, drugs):

[ for carlota’s full / proper bio + more in-depth explanations, please click here & check the ‘biography’ tab.]

for nearly half a decade before carlota’s father was born, instability was the norm in portugal. carlota’s father was born just as the conflict was drawing to an end and he   spent his whole life honoring his father’s hard work, heavily focusing on diplomacy, and being slightly ( but understandably ) paranoid about the safety of his family.

like his parents, carlota’s father was fortunate to marry out of love. carlota’s mother isn’t portuguese ( she's a hungarian princess ) nor was she supposed to have become henrique’s wife, but the two had been in love almost since they first met when they were teenagers. at court, some never fully accepted terezia, still, the pair was very happy together. 

carlota’s family was always very close-knit and kinda nosy about each other’s business. she has always enjoyed this greatly as she’s a family and people-person, but at times it felt suffocating, even when she was only a child. 

carlota’s innate almost child-like passion and curiosity for life as well as her good-humored casual demeanor have always been both a blessing and a curse and often landed into trouble. she’s well-meaning, always, but sometimes speaks without thinking or acts impulsively. she’s a little bit air-headed and selfish in this manner, and her emotions and feelings often control her more than she controls them. 

still, she has three older brothers with very strong personalities so from a very early age she’s been trying to keep up with them and showing them that girls can do everything boys can. she’s never been rebellious or assertive by nature, although she likes to make bold choices and statements at times, but having a lot of brothers just forced those sides of her to develop. 

when she was 8, shortly after her youngest brother was born her mother passed away - this was carlota’s first heartbreak  

carlota’s relationship with her father was always...... not complicated, but perhaps filled with misunderstandings and good intentions gone wrong. he kept her at bay a lot because carlota has her mother’s demeanor, and he worried immensely about her future. her father always felt like out of all his children carlota was going to be the one who was going to struggle the most with an arranged marriage so he was always pressuring her to focus on her romantic life in a serious manner which carlota often found bothersome. 

in her teens carlota felt very isolated and out of place. surrounded by people but all alone. that's how she felt.

annnnnnd then her father sent her to boarding school which was never supposed to have happened but he changed his mind thinking it was the best for carlota (spoiler alert - it wasn’t)

carlota was extremely upset and sad over this. being apart from her family and friends she had known all her life brought her great pain and frustration.  she also couldn’t understand her father’s change of heart, and a part of her felt like she had done something deeply wrong. honestly she felt kind of abandoned. 

these years were somewhat tumultuous, especially because she wasn’t making the right kind of friends - the ones that are good for you. this lead her to have made several questionable life choices. she also got in the habit of drinking too much and doing drugs (she never officially went to rehab but she was very close to and she honestly probably should have gone even if only to really file this chapter of her life away).

all of this is, mostly, behind her thought. it took years but she realised she was fostering unhealthy friendships and habits and that the longer it took her to walk away the harder it would become to do so at all. eventually she cut them all out of her life. 

( “what is it with you and your uncontrollable need to be liked?” one of her acquaintances from boarding school asked her once, and she was already a little drunk, so the words didn’t hit her as hard as they normally would have. her shoulders simply rose and fell in a lazy shrug. “i don’t know.” it had been an honest answer, she kept talking anyway, no filter between her thoughts and her mouth. “i guess i - well, i've never been the pretty one, or the smart one, or the brooding one, or the bold one, or the funny one... but i’ve always been good at meeting people so i guess... i guess very early on i just thought ‘maybe i can be the likable one’.” )

her father died of heart decease when she was 21. she always got along with her eldest brother and the two became even closer after their father’s death, however, a couple months before the summit carlota thought she wouldn’t be participating as she had been seeing someone, but the boy ended up deciding that they were better off parting ways. it was all very last minute and out of the blue and he did it via text and she didn’t take the news well in the least so she ended up resorting to finding comfort in bad old habits and companies.

her brother grew increasingly worried and one day the two had a quarrel in the palace’s foyer after carlota showed up to dinner so merrily out of it she could barely stand. at one point he tried to reach for her but she pushed him away - once, twice, trice, and on the forth time he lost his balance and fell down the long imposing staircase.

she was so inebriated that it took her brain moment to register what had happened but once it dawned on her she was immediately struck by a wave of frantic panic and promptly made her way down the staircase ( nearly tripping on her own feet and tumbling down multiple times ). her brother was still conscious when she reached him, falling on her knees by his side, already crying and apologizing. the last thing he told her was to leave so no one would blame her for what had happened. 

carlota is not an agitator. she’s not pro nor against the summit. she dislikes the idea of spending her life with a stranger or someone who won’t love her, but above that at the moment she simply feels a great weight of responsibility towards her brother and is just trying to do what he wanted her to. she’s going with the flow in a dutiful manner, trying to always be on her best behaviour, while at the same time trying to stay as true to herself as possible. 

at the moment, she almost likes that things are being figured out for her. it goes against her usual demeanor, but she has so much on her mind and feels so much guilt that anything that figures out her responsibilities for her is welcome. frankly, she’s walking towards a big depression, but depression isn’t something she has ever experienced before and personally doesn’t think it’s something she herself could experience.   

i want SO MANY THINGS for carlota. good and bad. i want positive character development, i want negative character development. i want to break her and put her together again. i want her to grow, learn, and face past mistakes... and maybe make new ones. 

i’m all about extensive plotting, and i’m in things for the long run, so throw all the ideas at me.

WANTED CONNECTIONS 

FAMILY

siblings  - ill be posting her family request here.

cousins: carlota’s mother wasn’t portuguese, she was likely german, hungarian, belgian, austrian, english, or french. so if your character is from one of those countries and you’d be up for them being related to carlota let me know!!!

ON GOOD TERMS

(open) best friend: someone carlota is very close to at the moment  

(open) childhood friend(s): someone carlota has known pretty much all of her life  

(open) accidental friendship: carlota and this person weren’t supposed to get along because of their personalities but instead of clashing, to everyone’s surprise, they compliment each other nicely  

(open) “a boy tried to make us compete for his attention so we ditched him and became close friends”: self-explanatory lmao i’d love for them to be super close. or maybe he was dating the girl and tried to fool around with carlota so she told the other girl and she dumped and him and her and carlota became close friends. many options.  

(open) exes on good terms: i love this trope - two people who dated but who are still friendly (and possibly super close) 

(open) one time date (positive): carlota and this person went on a date/found themselves on a date but quickly figured out they’d be better off as friends, and they are 

ON BAD TERMS OR IFFY

(open) the guy who ditched her: carlota didn't think she would be participating in the summit as she was beginning to develop a relationship with someone. whether they were officially seeing each other/dating or not is open, but around four months ago he ended what they had, momentarily leaving carlota in a really bad place. i left this super open and vague on purpose, i would love to plot it with whoever takes him.

(open) the boy from the “a boy tried to make us compete for his attention so we ditched him and became close friends” connection: self-explanatory lmao  

(open) betrothal’s romantic interest: i’d obviously love for carlota and her betrothal to be end game (like, romantically, not just being married for appearances) but i’m also big on stuff taking its time and i’d love for her betrothal’s to have a romantic interest (even if it’s onesided and he’s not interested in her - altho he can be obviously). above all, i just want a scene like this one lmao

(open) clashed from the start: clarlota and this person never got along (open)

(open) former teenage-hood friends: carlota and these people used to be close when they were teenagers but aren’t anymore. 

(open) former best friend: carlota and this person used to be very close but something happened that drove them apart. maybe they were part of the same group of friends and when carlota suddenly started bailing on and not wanting to be associated with them the former best friend felt used and betrayed, like they were had only been a “party” friend to carlota 

(open) exes on bad terms: self explanatory  

(open) one time date (negative): carlota and this person went on a date/found themselves on a date and it went awful 

(open) toxic romance: 

NEUTRAL OR UNCLEAR

betrothal: i’d obviously love for carlota and her betrothal to be end game (like, romantically, not just being married for appearances) but obvs that’s not mandatory. his personality is completely open, honestly do with him whatever you wish i just ask that he’s not a very artsy person. as a suggestion, i’d love for his secret to be something like he has toddler from a past fling/relationship, or even if that’s not his secret i honestly just like the idea of him having a secret or not so secret kid. fc suggestions for him are: michiel huisman, bob morley, oliver jackson cohen, and santiago cabrera.

(open) star-crossed: carlota and this character have, or had, feelings for each other but for whatever reason their relationship just can’t work out.  

(open) met in a bar: : this could have happened when they were kids/teens or recently. carlota and this royal met in a bar without knowing of each other’s backgrounds.  

(open) push and pull: : there’s flirtation and mutual interest… and there’s also a lot of annoyance.  

(open) bonded over doing smth they shouldn’t: this could have happened when they were kids/teens or recently. carlota and this person were caught (or nearly caught) doing something they shouldn’t be doing (such as sneaking out or sneaking back in)… individually. it was a chance encounter and their first meeting & can go many ways.  

(open) flirtation: (open)

(open) accidental bonding: this person accidentally confided something in carlota, whether because they were drunk/tipsy, or simply completely saturated and needed to vent. 

(open) betrothal’s ex: id honestly love for carlota to meet an ex of her betrothal and they get along super well. i have several ideas for this tbh but yeah!!

[onewfantaesy]

i updated the au masterlist page

but here have a post w everything that wasn’t included previously bc this is where i made it lmao have fun

step idol au: bandific au. taemin’s mom is dating yunho from dbsk. taemin’s step-dad is yunho from dbsk.

step teacher au: yunboa. taemin’s dad is dating his history teacher. taemin’s dad ends up marrying his history teacher.

kidnap au: taemin played hooky and stole a pair of jeans with key and they got arrested and taemin found out he was kidnapped. yunho is his father. he’s 11 and his life just got turned upside down.

genius au: lil baby taemin is a Genius and he’s like 8 and is a freshman in high school along with his big brother onew. minkey are their friends. kai is taemin’s best friend.

beacon street au: ontae high school au. taemin lives on beacon street and works at the beacon street diner. onew forces his friends minho and key to go to the diner with him and be regulars. taemin’s a shipyard kid, and that’s like, important.

crossing guard au: old man onew is a crossing guard and taemin and kai are kindergarteners and he loves watching over them and making sure they cross the street safely.

forest god au: taemin died when he was 12 but got turned into a god by the all-father. he’s now god of the forest. he really loves the baby deer and the bunnies.

blankie au: girl!minho and key. taemin is their lil baby boy. taemin is obsessed w his blankie

tween vamp au: taemin got turned into a vampire when he was 11. key was his teacher, and also a vampire. onew is key’s?? partner??? they take this poor abandoned little vamp boy in bc taemin literally would have died if they hadn’t.

thighs au: i think it’s girl!taemin and minho??? they hooked up on tinder and minho tried to give her shit for not shaving her thighs and taeyeon was just like “listen bitch first of all-”

lil booger au: taemin is the much younger brother on jonghyun and jinki. minkey are their parents.

sad ghost au: bandifc. taemin got ran over by a van in like rdd era and his ghost haunted the sm building for like 2 years before he finally passed on. it was really depressing. he relived his death over and over and over again. he didn’t know he was dead.

sneak au: bandfic. taemin sneaks out. like all the time. he gets caught by paparazzi. he gets shit on for it. he continued to sneak out.

citadel of onews au: rick and morty au but with shinee.

divorced au: heechul and jessica are divorced. taemin is their son. heechul moves back in with them. taemin is annoyed. taemin also has anemia and just wants to sleep at his auntie krystal’s house bc his dad pisses him off.

mini mommy au: jongtaeng and baby taemin.

ot5 hogwarts au: exactly what it sounds like. i think ontae are brothers. 

secret adoption au: lunew?? taemin is their son but taemin didn’t know that until lmao he was like 11. he only found out because his grandparents that he thought were his parents started treating him like shit. lunew were pissed that their baby was being treated like that when they didn’t even want to give him up in the first place.

secret boyfriends au: taekai high school au. no one knows they’re dating. chanyeol finds out bc he’s on the football team with kai and sees the texts. taemin gets bullied. big brother onew helps him get back at chanyeol and his stupid goons. taekai eventually let everyone know they’re boyfriends and they’re cute af.

super hero au: ontae brothers where they can both astral manipulate and shit. taemin decided to join super villain key. onew and his group of boring ass good guys always try to save taemin. taemin just is the literal definition of shrug emoji but with super powers.

twin college au: college au where taemin finds out he has a twin sister solely bc housing fucked up and put him and a girl in the same campus apartment. taeyeon didn’t know she was adopted.

uncle yunho au: taemin parents are abusive af and yunho is his uncle/godfather who saves him. taemin gets kidnapped after he moves in with yunho. it was traumatic. taemin almost died. key was the only one at school who treated him normally afterwards.

dozen au: bandfic where taemin is literally one of twelve children. he hates it. i was watching cheaper by the dozen and it just sort of wrote itself honestly.

tarzan au: taemin is found by onkey in the jungle. he was living with gorillas. he was like 5.

boy next door au: taemin is jongkey’s little neighbor. he likes to walk through their kitchen door and put his drawings on their fridge and play with their dogs.

doomsday au: bandfic where shinee’s managers and a tv station make shinee think they’re stranded on an island in the middle of the apocalypse. they kind of go a little crazy. a helicopter with a camera crew has to come down and be like “HAHA IT WAS A HIDDEN CAMERA!!!” taemin flips the fuck out. he’s very sunburned.

bullied au: bandfic but taemin’s been systematically bullied since like debut. no one knew until the bullies made a public apology during ace promotions. taemin had a panic attack when people found out the shit they did to him.

bow au: 2min. baby key. minho puts bows in key’s baby hair and taemin thinks it’s stupid.

graham cracker au: taemin, jonghyun, key, and minho ride their bikes down meadow street so the wizard at the end of the cul de sac will give them chocolate graham crackers. onew is that wizard.

middle school au: taemin is gwiboon’s much younger brother and she’s married to jinki and they have a small son minho. jinki is taemin’s middle school teacher. taemin’s parents are bad parents.

whale shark au: mermaid au but taemin’s bonded with a whale shark. jongyu are marine biologists that love watching taemin and his whale shark migrate.

lost prince au: taemin is the prince, and he’s three and he’s lost, and jongho find him but don’t realize he’s the prince.

tinder jongtae au: college-ish au where jongtae match on tinder and Spend The Night Together but then taemin’s older brother jinki just “taemin why the fuck is your snapchat bitmoji at my coworker’s house gdi taemin my friends have sent me screenshots of ur tinder DON’T FUCK MY COWORKER”

soulmate au: jongtae are soulmates and when a soulmate writes on their arm, the other can see it. taemin is in high school and writes all his homework on his hands. jonghyun is in college and thinks it’s annoying af.

europa au: space au where jongkey are aliens on europa, one of jupiter’s moons, and taemin is their adopted son.

finals au: bandfic but it’s just taemin acting stupid at the library during finals with his friends and the videos of them doing stupid shit go viral before people even realize it’s SHINee’s taemin in them

royalty au: jinki is the crown prince, and taemin is the king’s bastard son. he’s also half-elf.

i’m going to school au: just scenerios of what taemin might have been like when he was on that “i’m going to school” show with gain.

new school au: heechul is taemin’s dad, and taemin’s twin brother kai and their mother died in a car accident and now taemin goes to a new school because he was Traumatized

fourth grade au: ot5 are all in the same class and they find out they were all born on the same day (May 25th) and they bond over being geminis

st hedwig au: taemin lives in an orphanage called St. Hedwig’s and his teacher Jinki and his partner Minho end up adopting him

amish au: taemin was amish before he became an idol.

futon au: college au where boyfriends taekai just always spend the night on onkey’s futon bc taemin’s roommate doesn’t like it when taemin’s boyfriend sleeps over but kai goes to a different university

mermaid au: key, taemin, and minho are mermaids. taemin’s warrior parents died in a shark attack when he was a baby so key became his caretaker. jongyu are humans that they talk to a lot

711 au: college au where taemin works at 7-11 and he gets robbed at gunpoint and it’s traumatizing but he gets out of a midterm so shrug emoji. he and amber work together. shindong is a shit manager.

chill au: college au ontae netflix and chill. roommate kai. taemin gets chapped lips.

ballerino au: taemin gets bullied in high school bc he takes ballet but he’s a good ballerino who’s going places

vampire au: taemin got turned into a vampire when he was five and onew is his master and just ot5 being vampires but taemin is stuck in the body of a child also he pretty much always also acts like a child but “I’M A HUNDRED YEARS OLD LET ME HAVE WINE”

age gap au: taemin is like way younger than his big brother key and onew is their dad and jongkey are dating

senior boys au: jonghyun, key, and minho are seniors in high school. onew is their calculus teacher. taemin is onew’s son who’s a freshman. at one point, taemin accidentally sends jonghyun nudes. it was a big deal. taekai might be a thing in this au? i can’t really remember

bard au: taemin and the rest of ot5 are bards from dragon age & they operate in orlais, mainly val royeaux. jongtae have an intense rivalry. also taemin’s half-elf.

bard inquisitor au: literally bard au but taemin also becomes the inquisitor from dragon age inquisition. people freak out bc he’s orlesian lmao.

child star au: key is taemin’s dad and taemin became a child star when he was on a sitcom when he was like 3. taemin was a bit of a shit in his teenage years. the spotlight can do that to a kid.

arcade au: onew works at the local arcade and taemin takes full advantage of his big brother working there. taemin and his lil nerd friends - kai and ravi - hang out there all the time. key is the bully, bc where there’s a nerd in an arcade there’s a bully. i think i wrote this after watching stranger things lmao

exec board au: college au where ot5 are on the exec board for a club. taemin is a freshman who Does Not Take Thing Seriously. he’s fundraising chair. him and his friends sell weird shit at the food tents but make so much money that key can’t stand it.

college bro au: college au taekai riding together on their skateboards or some shit idk

musclehead au: college au taemin works at the rec center at fuckass o’clock. jonghyun is a stupid musclehead that dirties his perfectly clean mirrors.

boarding school au: taemin’s mom remarries and he gets sent to some snooty boarding school that his step-dad’s family has always gone to. he meets his step-brother, jinki, for the firs time when they meet at school. shit gets weird. taemin lies about his biological dad.

kidnapping au: taemin is jinki’s very much younger baby brother, and taemin was kidnapped when he was almost five years old. jinki becomes a cop and becomes obsessed with finding taemin, and he does, five years later, when a little boy is sitting in the station because his parents just got arrested.

kidnapping au 2: bandfic au. taemin is jinki’s little brother, only he didn’t know that because he was kidnapped when he was a toddler.

morning news au: taemin in onho’s little boy. he’s very cute. he reads the newspaper in the morning even though he can’t read yet.

reblog my shit thank u

[electroma89]

💐🌷🌹🥀🌺🌻🌼🌸☘️🌿🌱 hey bitch, what's up?????? Lemme see those flowery asks bloom

Back to this bitch that has a lot to ask about me, Miley what’s good!

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

I was about to say mermaids but hell no bc I wanna go on a cruise sometime. I’d love to see a pegasus flying in the sky. And faeries, lots of faeries.

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

Vinyls, plus the aesthethic pics of my room i couls take with them.

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

Like right now? Like in these times we’re living?: 1984

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

Mmm shirts not so much, now pullovers are a whole new story.

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

We’re only a week into this month lol, I think it’s all the chocolate I got on Easter, and also a quick trip to the store and being surrounded by cute shit.

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?

To change my mindset to attract positive things

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?

The ocean, no doubt about it.

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I mean that’s the plan, we’re in a relationship after all xD

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?

Depends on my mood, when I have to go out super early the next morning I plan my outfit to gain extra time, but most of the time I decide on the spot.

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?

A bit heavy, I think I ate to much at lunch, bit tired too.

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

I think it was a nightmare bc I woke up pretty statrtled, but I don’t remember why

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

You mean food? I just ate so no xD I’d love a good sunday nap rn

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

Long hair, featherly touches, kisses on my cheeck, big smiles; as for turn offs I’d say poor hygiene and treating people with disdain

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why?

I think my eyes watered a lot yesterday bc I was watching an opera and boy that makes me emotional af

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

Nope

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

Lick bc braces

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?

Howl’s Moving Castle

desert rose; do you like yourself?

Yup, a lot

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

I mean if you consider dubbing actors as celebrities (bc I do) I’ve met Roberto Chávez, Hugo Nuñez and Enzo Fortuny

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

Only one (Mexico)

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

In Santiago and Viña del Mar

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

Carry on after losing everything

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

“holy shit this is a long ass ask list”

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

I love to sing even if I’m bad at it.

I’m currently learning 3 languages: catalan, german and japanese.

My second surname is arab. 

I lived in Mexico for 6 years.

I don’t want kids.

daphne; do you believe in karma?

In a way

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

Yup, multiple times

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

Daniela Vega, for being so true to herself in a country full of hypocrites and prudes

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

My mom didn’t told me bedtime stories, she sang me songs, my fave was “Caracol”

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

I always make laugh my mom, my aunt and my cousin in family lunches

iris; do you believe in ghosts?

Something like that, I believe in energy and different existential planes

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

Anything before colonization, please

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?

Healthy? Maybe, maybe not bc watching everyone die tho

primula; what makes you sad?

Lots of things: injustice, sad lyrics, when people don’t take me seriously

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

Pretty much typical

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

I don’t think I trust anyone plenty 100% tbh

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?

Tea and milk, bread with butter and bluberry jam, a few chocolate eggs 

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

Not having fought harder for the dreams I had in my teenage dreams

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

I’m invested in too many stories that it’s impossible for me to pick just one

violet; favorite tv show?

Right now I’m watching “La Casa de Papel” and omfg

sunflower; share a favorite quote.

“Cáete siete veces, levántate ocho”

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

Plenty of rest, delicious food, walk around the city, lots of cute stores

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

Editing pics and videos, discovering new music, collecting skull themed stuff

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever.” - 1984

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

Wearing whatever I want, enjoying whatever I want, not caring about what people think

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

My age, I dated someone older once but didn’t last too much

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why?

Freddie Mercury, his music means conmfort, warmness and inspiration to me

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

Dracula, Frankesntein, 1984 (my fave)

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

Sailor Jupiter is my hero

magnolia; coffee or tea?

Coffee

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

Can it be both? I mean you don’t pay bills with love

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

Dog person

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

Social media recently

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

Yas, so aesthetically pleasant

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

Black

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

I don’t have siblings, and I’ll go to a concert with my mom next month so I say it’s pretty good

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?

Night person no doubt

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

Depression and dissociation, anxiety these last years

clover; how would your friends describe you?

You should tell me gurl xoxo (no en serio dime)

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?

Introvert at first, extrovert when I feel comfortable

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

Uhmm nothing? I’m pretty honest withthe things I enjoy: cartoons, pop music, you ask and I’ll tell you

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

Honest, loyal, opinionated

lotus; best memory as a child?

My friends in elementary school, and my childhood summer vacations

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

Brown and brown

dahlia; do you like crystals?

Yep

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

No gender roles since the begging of time

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

I don’t like Harry Potter (*collective gasp*)

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

Twirling my hair

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

Cocktail party!, with lots of dance please

blazing star; share a secret.

If I share it now it wouldn’t be a secret anymore

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

Happier, holy shit

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?

Anyone who could overcome difficult times in life, bc it shows that “there’s light at the end of the tunnel”

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

Since I was 6

nymphea; forest or river?

Forest

orchid; do you like exercise?

I know I need it, but I’m not a big fan

pansy; do you like poetry?

Not a big fan, but I can appreciate the beauty in some works

morning glory; any special talent that you have?

I don’t think so, I think i’m pretty average tbh

Omfg siento que corrí una maratón

[yourlostearring]

my roommates like actually disgust me sometimes. i know this is basically all i talk about on here nowadays, but it’s seriously fucking with me.

jess is making me so fucking mad because she knows that i do all the cleaning, and no matter how many times i complain about it she’ll just apologize and say it’s just hard for her to help out around the apartment because she’s depressed. like i get it, but what the fuck about me??? im also so fucking depressed it’s crazy, most of the time i stay in bed all day unless i have school or im babysitting or something, and what makes it worse is that i live with people that don’t seem to give a shit how disgusting the status of our apartment is. and then there’s kelsey, who really doesn’t even have a lame excuse like jess, she just apologizes and promises to clean more whenever i bring it up, but literally never does.

i fucking hate being constantly disrespected. i can’t tell you how many times ive tried being nice and just asking them for a little more help, all so they can tell me what i want to hear then do absolutely nothing differently. it just makes me feel like they don’t give a shit about me or how i feel. like im in school full time, it’s my last semester and im working really hard to stay on track so i can graduate, and having to be the sole person that cleans everything is just really damaging to my mental health.

on top of not cleaning anything, im the only one who takes care of ALL FOUR of our cats, yet i only own one of them. i clean the litter box every day, and if for some reason i forget it just doesn’t get done and the cats will end up shitting on the floor because the box is too dirty. AND THEN they’ll like, see the shit on the floor, and just leave it there!!!! because they’re too fucking lazy to clean it!!! literally it’s so fucking gross, and they’re gross for thinking that’s acceptable. not only that, it’s fucking unhealthy!!! the cats could get sick trying maneuver through piles of shit and it makes me so angry that they don’t even care. im also really the only one who feeds them, like if im in a hurry and forget to feed them in the morning before school, they won’t get fed until i get home at 4pm. i mean they do it every once in a blue moon the rare instances when they bother to check or just happen to notice, but im doing it on the daily. I don’t really even care about that bc it’s not a big deal, it takes two seconds, but it just bothers me that they don’t really take part in taking care of their animals. it’s also really upsetting me because im going home for spring break for like a week and a half and have to leave my cat in their care, and im just sad that she probably won’t be taken care of properly since they don’t even take care of their own cats the way they should.

idk. i feel like i complain about the same thing over and over every other week or so. i know it doesn’t help anything, it just really sucks feeling like nobody really gives a shit about your well-being. jess is supposed to be my best friend in chicago, yet i can’t even remember the last time she genuinely asked how i was doing. the only time she ever asks is to fill up the awkward silence left after i ask her about herself first. like, im so fucking depressed and anxious all the fucking time and she doesn’t really care, or even think about it at all. like, i understand being so overwhelmed with your own shit you don’t really ever think about other people’s— i spent a lot of time being like that and it took a while to realize that just because i constantly feel like my world is ending doesnt give me the excuse to pretend like other people don’t have problems that deserve to be acknowledged. but like, come the fuck on dude. you’re 24 and still acting like you’re an angsty teenager that doesn’t need to worry about anybody else but yourself. grow the fuck up.

i just feel invisible i guess. i feel like I’ve spent so much of my time being the person that lets people walk all over her, and now that I’ve finally found the courage to stand up and say something when people try it, I’m just not taken seriously. I’ve asked my roommates nicely and I’ve asked them not so nicely if they could just fucking please to help me out, and every time it’s the same tired response with no action resulting from it.

i just want them to put themselves in my shoes and think about how they would feel if they were the only ones trying to make our apartment habitable. like seriously, why the fuck do i have to constantly ask grown ass adults to do their fucking dishes or take out the trash when it’s full or clean up after their fucking pets? im the youngest one in this apartment and yet im the one feeling like the nagging mother to a bunch of fucking teenagers and im fucking sick of it.

I don’t ask for much. I just want some fucking help. I constantly feel like I’m drowning and I just want some fucking help around here but literally nobody gives a shit. sometimes ill stop cleaning for a few days just to see how long it’ll take before somebody attempts to clean something, and im not even kidding when i say they will go so fucking long without even giving it a second thought, and as a result things just get piled up and i have to deal with it. everyone here is so fucking selfish and it literally disgusts me.

my other roommate Sania is the only one not driving me crazy right now. she doesn’t really clean either, but at least when i ask her to help out she jumps right on it. she also works two jobs and goes to school so shes basically never home, but when she has the time to help she does, which I appreciate. she also is on my side when it comes to the cats since she sees that I’m the only one that takes care of them so it’s nice to be validated every once and a while.

but yeah, idk why I’m writing this. I’m just constantly feeling disrespected by people who claim they care about me and it’s really the worst feeling ever. I really can’t wait to graduate and move out so all of this can just be one big stupid memory.

[luriashrine]

kabsks you’re gonna hate me bUT I KINDA WANNA KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALL QUESTIONS FOR CELIA (and maybe Fai if u want!) except maybe number 5 bc i dunno if it fits, you decide!! INFO DUMP ME!!!!

NOW HOW CAN I HATE YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO INFO DUMP AS MUCH AS I COULD?!  Be prepared for some weird errors, I’m heading back out and I tried to finish this in the little time I have at the moment ;0; 

1. What would completely break your character.

Here’s the sad thing, Celia is already broken. For a large part of her childhood to adolescent to late teenage years, she had to endure so much shit. It doesn’t help one bit that The Lich makes damn sure to live through her trauma each and every day during her training. For three long years, she had to witness her family dying over and over again just so that she can learn to desensitize herself (it’s best to think of her training in The Box as though she was trapped in a time loop with different outcomes depending on her choices or what The Lich wants to throw at her).

Aside from total failure in completing her end of the contract, nothing can break Celia but even that is debatable since some of her actions throughout ATEW suggests otherwise (there are times in the story where Celia tries to goad Adrian into killing her in order to stop but he seriously couldn’t in the beginning).

2. What was the best thing in your character’s life?

Her family, more importantly, Marcel and Remei. But they’re gone now and for a long while she had nothing she considered important. Until she finally opens up to Fai and later on Nessie. Seeing Phoebe’s kingdom come crumbling down would be another great thing in her life…

3. What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Fai and Celia did not get off on the right foot. At first Fai thought that protecting a sociopathic brat like Celia was the worst thing ever, especially since she’s someone who is fine with getting her hands dirty which consequently means that she always jumps headfirst into danger(hRM DOESN’T THAT SOUND FAMILIAR YOU BUTT ADJNAKS seriously though, he does the same at times but to him when Celia did it was annoying). Eventually, through time they do bond and now the worst thing in Fai’s life is how much he’s in love with her despite knowing what will happen once she completes her contract.

Still… Celia’s recklessness and overconfidence in herself scare him nowadays…

4. What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character.

The first time she ever had paella after a kindly couple (Kyrie and Santiago) took her in for a couple of weeks… it’s extremely insignificant but the impact of the event meant so much to her and there are times where she could still taste the fluffy, sunny-colored rice and the multitude of spices after spending a couple of years in shitty orphanages eating moldy bread (bread that she would have to steal from other children due to food rations), watery soup and this bland grey mush that had the proper nutrients in it but very little substance to it. Kyrie had prepared that dish out on a whim one day, after he had fed her so many other wonderful dishes ever since he took her in but all of the flavoring in the paella stuck out the most to her. Much to her embarrassment, she cried after eating the dish. She wasn’t crying just because she was having good food but because for the first time in a long time she was eating dinner with a family once more and that revelation struck Celia so hard she was overwhelmed with emotion.  

I wrote a drabble but for Fai, Celia showing Fai that sweet fairy poo. Her laugh was the most magical thing on the planet. SHE ALSO HAS THE CUTEST DIMPLES WHEN SHE LEGIT SMILES AND THAT DESTROYS HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!

5. I’M SORRY, I REALLY TRIED BUT I CAN’T ANSWER!! CELIA’S JOB IS TO KILL AND SHE DOESN’T REALLY ENJOY KILLING ALL THAT MUCH, SURE SHE’S GROWN DEATTACHED AND HAS NO PROBLEM WITH IT BUT… YEAH!

6. what is your character reluctant to tell people.

Celia has a lot to hide which is understandable given her circumstances meanwhile Fai is too reluctant with telling anyone else that he’s in love with Celia this is mostly because Shadows aren’t really supposed to have any feelings and falling in love with a human is considered… strange to say the least.

7. How does your character feel about sex?

I’LL TRY TO BE A MATURE ADULT WITH TALKING ABOUT THIS BUT IDK I STILL FEEL WEIRD TALKING NSFW WITH MY OCS, not uncomfortable just jadksbldns. But anyway!!! 

Celia and her very unabashed view, as well as the immense pleasure she takes in it, ties into a lot of things such as her self-worth as well as her nasty habit of smothering herself in more risky behaviors whenever she’s going through a mania episode since sex is just one of many self-destructive behaviors. On top of all those things, for a short time she had a slight fear of emotional attachment before meeting with Fai, having sex with no strings attached was ideal for Celia. This doesn’t mean that she’s thirsty.txt 24/7 just because she’s shameless and has sexual confidence, sex is not always on her mind… but she’s not one to say no to whoever offers to have sex with her either.

Fai on the other hand… he is very much a thot when it comes to his lovers. SO UH!!! 

8. how many friends does your character have?

WEEPS!!!! I’ve said time and time again that Celia is a true neutral, she has a grey moral outlook with little to no regard for a lot of things since as rules and the like… however, so many people will regard her as cruel or even evil due to her many actions in both a meta sense and in the story sense as well. So, yeah… she doesn’t really have many friends because of this aspect of her and has tons of enemies. After she opens up to Fai she later does befriend Nessie and makes an attempt to at the very least try to bond with her resistance members since they are doing all of the heavy hard work and she appreciates their loyalty to her.

9. how many friends does your character want?

This is the question that upsets me the most. It’s a bit of a mixed bag here since there is a large part of Celia that years for companionship but because of all of the events she had to go through during ATEW (most of which she almost died in) she has a natural distrust of everyone and her paranoia convinces Celia that everyone is out to get her. She honest to god hates being alone with her thoughts since she has to relive her trauma. She prefers the company of others not only to satisfy her needs for social interaction and attention too but to distract from her mind. 

10. What would your character make a scene in public about?

She doesn’t really like making scenes in public, Celia is someone who works in from the shadows of the slums first and foremost due to the many people who are out to get her whether they be human, spirits she’s upset or the gods there is a price for her head for all of the crime she’s committed. As such, she doesn’t really like making any scenes of any sorts but there is an extremely rare expectation to that face and that expectation is that if she’s feeling highly emotionally. Once again, this plays into her mania episodes of her manic depression and on top of that, years of just bottling away her trauma, anger and a plethora of many other emotions she tries to shut down through dissociation. After having an emotional breakdown she will feel pretty shitty with some sense of catharsis.

11. For what would your character give their life?

If losing her life has some value in completing whatever goals she has, then she would gladly give up her life for that sake with no hesitance. Later on, where Celia actually develops and makes a legit human connection with other people she would find that she has no problem with giving up her life for them if it’s worth it in the end. Fai is well aware of both facts and he always cries silently to himself.

Fai risks his life mostly for glory and being an actual adrenaline junkie. Nothing noble behind his actions.

12. what are your character’s major flaws.

I’ve already talked about it with Celia but her major, major flaw would have to be her envy and how much it blinds her, the fact that she has little empathy, is prideful/arrogant, suffers from a superiority/inferiority complex etc. etc.

I’d like to talk about Fai though! He’s apparent frivolous nature is a huge, huge flaw of his as he sometimes underestimates his opponents in battle and constantly undermines himself as well because he doesn’t really use all of his powers when fighting. He’s too carefree/playful and that’s his greatest trait about him but also his worst. I don’t really need to go too much in depth about how much his recklessness gets him in trouble or all of the weird mess he would get himself into lol… the dragon fighting is suffice enough. 

13. what does your character pretend or try to care about?

Omg… I can’t help but think of this with Celia whenever someone finds out about her lies, she would act so deadpan once she’s caught in the act because chances are you already have a bullet through your head lol!!!! Her paranoia and overall perfectionist attitude won’t allow for her to let a silly mistake like that live for long.

Fai tries to pretend that he cares about The Lich and to his credit he almost follows their orders. Make what you will out of that.

14. how does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project.

Celia has well over 3439203023 different personas since she’s very meticulous in how she wants to present herself to others in order to seem all the more appealing to them. As we all know, her acting is a crock of shit!! I wouldn’t go as far as to say that the real Celia is a terrible person and leave it at that, it takes away so much of her character because there’s so much more to her than her terrible life choices and actions.  

With Fai, aside from his poker face that he wears when on duty, what you see is what you get because of how much of a shit he doesn’t give when it comes to presentation.

15. what is your character afraid of?

Blood. Ironic, isn’t it? For all of the lives that Celia takes and all of the blood she’s shed for the sake of her goal, just a mere glance at it and she relives through the night of her trauma all over again. She hates the sight, the smell and overall feel of it hence why she prefers to use long ranged weapons combined with her magic in order to not see blood spill from her victims. I think I’ve mentioned this before but Celia hates bleeding out not just because of her fear towards blood but because of how shitty her body is, it tends to take a while for a wound to clot and close up so she can bleed for hours on end with no signs of stopping (I’m not even touching on the fact how she suffers from minor internal bleeding either hence the high number of bruises she sometimes sports). I suppose getting caught by the military or Phoebe’s powers would be legitimate fears as well.

[theirproject-a-blog]

spookytothemax replied to your post: i want a full written apology from jim hopper 5...

im only on ep 4 but like he’s trying to protect her, i get it tbh. like there are still people out there after her, there are still people that might wanna hurt her, and he doesn’t want that for her, so he keeps her inside to keep her safe. it sucks but i do get it. and even the yelling i get. she ran out and he was terrified. he needs her to not pull a stunt like that again so he yells and punishes her bc she needs to understand. idk like i totally get it, even if it seems unfair PLUS didn’t he have a daughter that died? like he wouldn’t be able to handle loosing another

okay yes to me he was doing it to be protective like any parents would be but he really wasn’t good about it ?? he basically put jane in a furnished lab - she wasn’t allowed to leave, or talk to anyone, the only different thing was that he wasn’t trying to manipulate her for her powers he just wanted to keep her safe, but she had every right relate him to brenner. both said they were doing what was best for the her, which in fact they weren’t. i do get the risk of jane being seen and hopper worrying about it, but really ??? let the damn girl go trick or treating. take her out somewhere late at night with few people once a month so shes not cooped up in the cabin all the time. i do not agree with him keeping her from mike or the others. mike already knew about jane and so did the other boys and i know it was “for their safety” but ??? they ALREADY KNEW denying that jane was alive just hurt them more and was hopper being over protective af, as shown with mike. mike was in a serious depressive state after loosing jane : it was listed in the show but like ? he was graffiti and doing a bunch of other things and !!! it wasn’t just because he’s a teenage boy these are unlike him bc he is not in good headspace he made a real friend in el and he lost her. mike was seriously fucked up and if hopper had just let her talk to him ( IN THE FUCKING VOID THAT ISNT REALLY TRACEABLE SO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HELLA SAFE ) literally would have been no big deal. and yelling at her the way he did - it’s a move my parents pull all the time. it’s honestly what’s made me scared of my parents to like ask them anything or to do anything ( thank god i turned 18 and dont need their permission anymore ). obviously something happened when jane went to see mike and hopper REALLY should have picked up on it bc she literally says : he didnt see me liKE if everything was okay she obviously would have talked to him so that was his first clue that something was up and he should have dropped the anger and also ??? if mike didn’t see her then there was no problem ?? yes, that mom with her kid, but there were a bunch of other people who saw el too and they just got swept under the rug so like ? whats the big deal ??? eleven was being emotional here a lot but hopper could have handled it SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST YELLING AT HER AND GROUNDING HER LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO HER SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY SAD and as for loosing sara yeah hopper would be freaking terrified of loosing another child which is probably why he’s so over protective but it doesn’t make it okay jane had every right to compare him to brenner bc thats what she sees in him in that moment.

it probs seems like im bashing hopper but only bc im angry at that whole thing and i hope joyce teachs him how to be a better parent bc hes never raised a child over 10 and i know he has work to do. he apologizes later on but still like im super angry at him for this i get hes worried but !!! you have to listen to your child okay he could have done all of that grounding and such when he wasnt so angry or after asking her if she was okay