#then i���ll be a cna

[m0e-ru]

CHALLENGE FAILED

[mitski-slope]

OHHHH MY FUCKIGKN GOD OF MY GOKD OH YMU GOD OH YMG GOD . OH MY KGOD OGH ,MY GOD . ILY ILYILYILYILYIYILY,KYJFIKJDSAHFLAD,SB ADSFBJAS UKRKHQ348OW4ILUE12JQ3WEAODSFKUHCJNEAWSOICL

FKOR HTE ASK GAME . MAKOTO EDAMURA PELASPELAEOPALSEPLEASEPELASPELASEPOLEASE . IM LITERLLAY BEGGING . U CAN PICK THGE VIBE IF UD LIKE !!!!!!! <3

makoto edamura + autumn

ASDCSD VGFRGBH havent finished great pretender yet but anyth 4 u phrog <33 ALSO HE LOOKS SO SKRUNKLY IN THAT PIC I HAD TO USE IT HEHE

[cozzzynook]

May I offer some hurt/Comfort MiniMegarod?

During the bad ending of the LL Minimus and Roddy pay Megatron one last visit the day before his sentence is carried out. There's tears and a lot of hugs despite the judging optics of the guards. They promise to love Megs the way he was and not before despite how history may paint him. The leave the prison crying and wishing they had more time together.

A few weeks later Rodimus is laying in berth feeling tired and sick, He thinks its just the grief from losing one of his Conjunxs. However over the coming weeks it gets worse to the point he can't eat without purging. Minimus the ever sweet mech is rightfully worried, he doesn't want to lose another partner so he calls First Aid to check Roddy out.

The bittersweet news arrives that Roddy is sparked with a large bitty who clearly has Megs frame type. Rodimus is a mess with happy and sad tears. They have something to remember Megs by but are sad that he never got to meet his Bitty.

Time passes and the pair are welcoming their large bitty with Megs frame and Minimus's colour and Roddy's optics. The promise to look after and love this Bitty no matter the strange looks others might give them. They love their sparkling and no angry message from Prowl won't change their minds.

Hope you enjoy :D

😭😭😭😭😭

Anon i love you so much but you better sleep with one eye open 😭😭😭😭😭

I seriously grasped my chest because my heart hurt at this and i my eyes stung. Oh my gosh.

Their bitty growing up knowing what one of their sires did but also how loving he could be and was.

The initial news must have been so devastating because Roddy couldn’t tell him but he also could live on in a good way.

I just know Minimus was so torn not having the other sire to celebrate with or comfort him and Rodimus during the lows since Megs is better at emotional matters when it comes to Roddy than Magnus is.

Not to mention Roddy doesn’t tell his friends because he doesn’t want them judging him or doing anything to his sparkling. So they probably move somewhere else.

In fact they would have to because if someone caught word that Megatron had a sparkling with his cna they would try to kill them.

So they leave Cybertron and cut communication with a lot of bots save for a few.

They welcome their sparkling and he grows up liking so many of the same things Megatron liked. Its both really sad and really spark warming.

[dp2159]

when are ytou going to eat burgers

yYuou people think you cna just ask anhybod yanything. You add nothing of value to ymy life . Waste of my time . Where is the contrivuation? Contribute to a world of ideas. I am so sick of this. I;ll eat burgers when I wil.ll.....

[transingthoseformers]

Do you have any AUs you really like kicking around that you haven't talked about as much?

Yessss actually! I popped in a read more, if you don't mind

There's my Dynamo and rescuebots au, which I've written a bit about (and ended up freaking out halfway through the last ficlet of it😅)

I play a lot with my tfa Mockingbird oc and how they'd be created and introduced to the autobots

I had this old au was was based on the cyberformed earth concept but it was naturally based around a random character who wasn't autobot or Decepticon adjacent and almost in a sorta "okay fuck, the apocalypse happened, now i have to map the terrain and learn new things" way

I frequently find myself going back to the plotline of the tfp autobots capturing a semi-rogue Decepticon who just... stays there and both parties get attached. Sometimes said con was friends with orion and tronus before the war, sometimes not. I have found similar plotlines that are same but earthspark.

I've played around with a bayverse x tfp continuity before as i think they would compliment each other nicely worldbuilding wise

I've probably posted about it before but the idea of Megatron having a friend/amica/whatever in the backround who absolutely gave the shovel talk to Orion and is frothing at the intake to bestow said shovel consequences to Oppy for breaking Megatron's spark

Tfp but Whirl comes to earth plotline, and Bulkhead actually gets super protective of Whirl because he fucking knew what that guy went through and is gonna set things right this time

"Oh Fuck Overlord? On Earth? I guess the autobots, Decepticons, and humans have to work together against this menace"

I've posted about it before but the LL coming to the tfp universe

The Transformers: the play au me and Techni went back and forth on!

Posted about this before but a tfa "Decepticons win and most/all autobots are captured" situation where a moderately higher ranking Decepticon finds the situation sorta fucked up and slowly but surely acts as a double agent to betray the Decepticons and get as many autobots as possible onto drumroll here a tfa version of the Lost Light!

The one tfa oc Firefłight being a lazy big bastard with a frenemies-ish situation with Fanzone and pushing Starscream off of tall buildings

Naturally rescue bots plotlines that include them coming to the tfp base oh naturally

I don't talk about it a bunch but during Serotonin Syndrome two: electric boogaloo I went on an absolute streak with the tf: a&p au that was very much based on a single valveplug tfa megs x tfp optimus ficlet I saw

I had this one au i wrote a bit about where the matrix got damaged in a boom boom and Oppy had essentially the opposite of the Orion Arc happen— he was in his old frame but has the same memories and personality (ish). I think i called it Optimus Pax

My Liason from Hell bayverse au, from au dungeons!

The one au I made a loooong time ago around the 4/9/21 thing, which was oc x oc with one having an alt based on draco lizards and the other on striped hyenas— i believe both ended up carrying at the same time, it was Ferrous and Carnage? Yeah.

I talk so little about spinocon aus but they have so many storylines like way so many

O ooo oo o i sorta forgot about it but my "Why Earth? Always Earth?" Au that was an animorphs x Transformers au, i never truly followed up on that

Back when i was watching Supernatural oh i naturally made an au based on that that i never wrote down, I think Miko was sooorta like a wereworf but fox based? Yeah it was Sam and Dean meeting the autobots but we can put Castiel and Crowley in there too

Lottttts of ex-DJD plotlines where said character joins the autobots

Oh i had this one idea based on the humans cloning a Cybertronian from CNA samples but i didn't follow up on it

That one au idea i had where Megatron was gonna have a new kid and a few of his previous ones who have never met ever over the vorns finally meet and it's almost a nostalgia sorta au but has the tone of a will reading, like fuck they not only learned of eavh other recently but they're gonna have a sibling? And these kids are soooo different because megs made them during vastly different parts in his life, it was tfp/mtmte continuity mix

I've ran "Starscream meets the rescue bots" storylines beforr

Just way too many work together plotlines based on the quality of mercy series

The blatant isakai au storylines where each human that becomes a Cybertronian died in their respective universes and woke up in the tfp one in Cybertronian frames!

[misswoozi]

Didn’t I just say don’t engage with these anons that doesn’t have anything better to do with themselves? As I said before you engaging with them is not making the situation any better it’s just adding more fuel to the fire that’s already been started y’all just being crazy for telling this author to go k!ll themselves just because their writing a request an anon sent for them? It’s so crazy how people can be so sensitive over a shipping post that should not hurt you at all whatsoever please stop sending this author hate and author please do me this favor and if you don’t then idk what else to tell you anymore stop engaging with these lowlife fools.

Anon I appreciate your kindness and input and as I've said in the past, I delete 80% of the stupid, trolling asks that I get. But sometimes a bitch just wants to laugh with their friends over how stupid people cna be 😂😂 but! Since you asked a favor, I will follow through for you and delete the rest of the ones that come through today!

[eagle-head-charge]

I HAVE MORE COMCIS TUFF I WANT TO TALK BAOUT BTU I ODNT WANT TO CLITTER THE TAGHS WITH ME YELLING UH M . ITS FINE I LL JUT GO UNDE RTHE UCT????????

UHMM . CHAT. AMGGOTT SSOILDIERS. WHATWVEF. THERE SOSM UCH PRETTY AR TOF ME AND I CNA THANDLE IT

THESE ARE THE ONES I TOO KSCREENSHOTS OF. I LVOED ALL OF IT TRHESE JSUT STODO OUT TO ME I GUESS???????? UH M. UI CANT ID THEM WHEN IM FREKAING OUT I HAVE NO IFCUKIN GCLOUE WAHT PANEL THERYREE FROM. WHY WODULC I BE IDING THEM WHEN MY POSTS ARE FUCKFING INCHOERETRENT ANYWEAY?????????? THEYREE ME FROM THE COMCIS. USE YOUR HEAD

[experimentofawarrior]

🍼

@jemmaqueenofspace

Melissa had expected a lot in SHIELD. There weren’t a lot of things that did surprise her. From what she was herself, to inhumans, a flaming skulled demon to LMDs and the whole frame work mess…. That she wasn’t so surprised with. 

Walking in on Simmons holding a baby… that really threw her off. Leaving her standing in the door way on the containing hallway. One of the few things she never imagined was Simmons with a baby…. an entire ball of innocent life.

“Should I be worried on where you got that?” Melissa called after a moment, nodding to the offspring.

[winking]

me, intoxicated by cheetos: u know what..... i’m... not gonna eat hot cheetos ever again

[ask-prime-starscream]

Now what? - The future of this blog

Currently I have five Alternate Universes float around in my head and maybe you’ll like them to come to life here? I plan fanart, comics and maybe some graphic novel style with art and written text. Please share your thoughts and opinions. <3 I. How to raise your sparkling - TFA AU

After Starscream got captured by the Elite Guard, they start to experiment with his CNA to create Autobots with flight ability. However, Starscream manages to free himself and out of spite he snatches the two protoforms right out of their incubator. But he doesn’t feel pleased with himself for long. On the run and with now two demanding sparklings craving his attention, killing Megatron and ruling the universe isn’t such an easy goal anymore...

II. Metroplex Asylum - IDW1/Cyberverse AU set after TAAO

Based on the scrapped idea for Starscream to return with amnesia, after his Quintesson form got destroyed. I would let this take place in the Cyberverse universe, but IDW1 provides so much better world building and consequences, so it’s set there. Windblade fights Vigilem alone in her own head until Starscream logs in to help. During the procedure, Vigilem manages to almost totally override Starscream’s brain-module which forces Airachnid to call a halt before it’s too late. She fries the unwelcome foreign pattern inside Starscream’s head, causing irreparable damage. When Starscream wakes up again - something they didn’t even hope for - he has only a fleeting grasp of some events (mostly early war), tends to terrible mood swings and is obsessed with Windblade, who feels responsible for him, but can’t handle his unfiltered feelings towards her. In the end they have no other choice, but to put the Chosen One, the leader of Cybertron, into an institution full with other bots with mental health issues. While Starscream bends over backwards to make sense of his surroundings and is generally at peace with himself, the past, present and future won’t stop haunting him.

III. Endless Utopia - IDW2 AU

I already started this comic until I put it on hiatus last year. However, I have nine pages in the making and plan to update this soon and hopefully at a faster pace. This AU is based on the idea of a “Nicescream”. Even though his life is more than complicated, he found his own little happiness. But pre-war Cybertron won’t leave him alone.

IV. Moon City - No specific universe with a pinch of Armada

Decades after the war between Autobots and Decepticons ended, earth is a mostly unhabitable place thanks to climate change and World War III. The only flicker of hope for the average human survivor is Moon City, a base built on the moon with artificial atmosphere and Cybertronian technology. While it provides a life in luxury and first of all health, not everyone can enter and the cost of living is sky high. Alexis Thi Dang got the grades to be accepted at the Moon City Academy, but scrapping the money together to keep studying is a daily struggle. Desperately searching on the network for ways to get benefits, she stumbles over the possible solution: In this city of the future, humans who are partnered to a Cybertronian are extremely privileged. Especially the winners of the war, the Autobots, are highly demanded partners. The Council of Humanity even runs a secret project to create a techno-organic mix-race which is supposed to be the answer to the new living conditions in space and possible colonies in foreign atmospheres. Anybody contributing to this goal has their place in Moon City ensured. Alexis however, is among the population just an average Jane, so she cannot even dream of finding a Cybertronian who wants to hook up with a human. Therefore she surfs the dark net and finds a fishy organization willing to provide her a partner... Starscream is on the run since the war ended and hides in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter where he scratches together all the energon he can find. One day he gets roused by humans searching for the same... and Cybertronian spare parts. Barely able to flee, he looks for a safe haven and meets Swindle who is into some not so legal businesses and makes Starscream some not so confidence-inspiring promises to smuggle him into Moon City, the only place of Cybertronian standards he can reach for now. Desperate, Starscream agrees... and gets paired up with Alexis. The beginning of a “wonderful” partnership.

V. Starscream the Movie - No specific universe

I once wanted to create a canon divergent Bumble Bee the Movie fic. This was born out of the idea that both Bee and Starscream are stranded on earth, but I rewrote the whole thing into basically “What could a movie about Starscream look like?” So, we got everything. His creation, his place among the Decepticons, his relationship with Megatron and of course his flock, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Slipstream... a benevolent doctor called Knock Out and the joys of being a giant robot thrashing planets with primitive species and Autobots trying to protect them.  Starscream’s winning streak goes to his head though and results in his fall from grace. He is basically degraded to hunt down insignificant Autobot bases and his first target is Bee on earth. This is probably my most ambitious project and that’s why I can’t reveal too much.

(VI. A forgotten grave - IDW1)

Short comic about Megatron who wants to meet Starscream one last time before his execution. Based on this:

Q: How did the LL crew - specifically Megatron - react to the deaths of Optimus, Soundwave, and Starscream? 

A: Let's specifically focus on Megatron - he would've been conflicted about all three. Would've been most cut up over Starscream's death, because there was a lot of unfinished business between him and Starscream, and the reformed pacifist Megatron never got to meet Starscream. That probably eats away at him. Closely followed by Optimus. Would've been incredibly interested in what Soundwave had done and would've been proud of him. Imagine he would have been bitterly affected by all three deaths in slightly different ways.

While Megatron shows NEVER any regret about how he treated Starscream in the comics, I’ll just take this word of god here and do something with it.

---

Well then. Any thoughts? ;D

[eggsnu]

Love Sick aka “Five Times Logan Thought Roman Didn’t Love Him and the One Time He Was Sure He Did. (Number 5 Will Shock You!)”

Ships(s): Romantic Logince, background QPR moiety 

Words: 4,513

Warnings: Food mention, swearing, caps, sex mentions, implied sex at the end, a character gets poisoned and is mentioned as “dying” a few times, (No one actually dies), Logan had Dumb Bitch Disease

Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @jynxlovesluck @max-is-tired

—

One

Baby, can’t you see

Logan had been hiding from his feelings for quite a while now. He had convinced himself that if Roman did not return his feelings then he could move on with no issue. But first, he had to convince himself that Roman did not return his feelings.

I’m calling.

When they enthusiastically recited Shakespeare together or debated whether or not the inaccuracies of Hamilton matter, or when Roman’s eyes light up every time he shows off a new poem he wrote for Logan, it’s hard not to imagine how wondrous life could be if he did.

They had been sitting together watching Bambi while Virgil and Patton hogged one end of the couch, pressing Logan into Roman’s side. Logan thought he could get over his feelings for Roman.

“I bet you those two will get together before the end of the week,” Roman said with a smile, the pastel colors of the television illuminating his face. Logan had been wrong.

Keep reading

[firespirited]

7th of June 2022. Stranger things theory. Massive potential spoiler alert. Do not read unless you really want to. Maybe read on the 7th of July once you've seen part 2 of s4?

Do not read unless you want to be miserable until July 7th. Wild and improbable theory. Writing for my own memory. Do not read unless you really want to.

Potential spoilers do not read ahead. names censored to not be aggregated by search engines.

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An article on s4 indicated a reddit theory of W*ll as s5 boss, I have not read it but it resonated after seeing S3 & S4 part 1 back to back. I don't really want this theory to be real, I'd prefer an internal battle of the magic children from the lab vs their killer. However the odd passive characterisation of W*ll in S3 & 4 lead me to think he's the key.

A recurring theme in ST is that when someone or something psychically reaches out, the link goes both ways. W*ll was able to see the m*ndflayer, El saw B*lly's strongest memories. In 1979 v*cna entered a formless dimension and slowly recreated important elements to himself in a disjointed way. In 19*83 this dimension encountered the sensitive and incredibly powerful imagination of W*ll B*ers and began to shape itself. The m*ndflayer worked for v*cna or vice versa seeking out El*ven but the psychic link to W*ll's mind shaped the landscape and the rules of the upside-d*wn and only W*ll can end it. A part of his psyche inhabits the upside-d*wn, i don't think it has intentionality like v*cna's drive to rule the world but it has a great power. He must accept that grieving scared child as a part of himself and embrace love or killing v*cna and closing the gate won't end things. The painting is a revelation. He might be gay, he might be emotionally trapped in 1983-1984 before everything went wrong, he might be both. He is incomplete without the part of himself that lives over there or the healing he needs to do. Part of the story may be that v*cna entered a goblin king style deal or that part of his strong mind gives power to v*cna beyond his pathetic sadism and wish to reshape the world. W*ll's subconscious will is the final boss or a key piece in the mechanics of the upside down. The choice of Alan Turing as his historical hero is two fold, he was gay, bullied but he was a visionary like W*ll the wise most importantly he believed that the mind could be recreated. I think there is a replica or a shaping of the psychic dimension 'in his image' or mirroring the frightened mind used to taking refuge in fantasy. The dgorgons existed before him, v*cna and the m*ndflayer did too, they just floated in a void not a mirror image, the UD existed as fragmented images from the victims until full psychic contact gave fantasy rules, options for escape and the detailed landscapes. Children don't develop full compassion until their mid teens, their minds can be shortsighted and selfish, it's a fascinating area of psych study especially in cases of minors committing acts of cruelty, child soldier emotional arrested development, teen brain injury and anti social tendancies that dissappear with adulthood, we're talking gang recruits, cult recruits, hate groups... a young mind can be relentlessly focused on survival to the exclusion of all others, a concept that's very bleak but very human. Part of growing up is finding out that a childhood friend turned into a violent person. Again, I don't want this storyline but it lines up with an era marked by some violent teen crimes that we have not reckoned with as a society wrt to ages of responsibility and rehabilitation.

Was j*nathan also neglected storywise? No he's made the in character choice to not leave his family and drag down n*ncy's potential and it's making him sad. He's taken a father role, hopefully S5 allows him to trust his brother's strength.

[kurtty-drabbles]

I feel what you feel au (part 3)

N/A: MEh. Here we go again.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt

Using your mutation for everyday chores and moment is a luxury few mutants can truly appreciate- Kitty is now well versed in how some mutants would take anything in their possession to be human again and it makes her be thankful of her power as well mentally debate if all mutants are equal-and Karma and Kitty are one of the lucky ones right now.

They´re in Karma´s room floating through the ceiling as they´re listening to the radio-playing old songs that neither Kitty nor Karma ever heard until now- and talking about their day. Karma has great control over her own telekinesis (something Rachel is impressed as she took as her mission to train Karma. Two different styles of telekinesis) and Kitty, herself, is flying watching as her sandal did fall from her feet making a big "Blop" on the floor.

"Kitty, can I ask you something?" Karma asked once the mysterious song ends and the announcer is now speaking greatly about product placement. Karma is flipping a magazine and gesture to Kitty who still looks at her fallen sandal.

"I guess. If it is about ABBA again...no, I´d not think it would make a good movie" Kitty answers absently thinking if it would really be possible to make a movie out of each song of ABBA and she´s a huge fan of this old band.

"No, not that. Is about, well, Kurt" Karma is navigating on thin ice as Kitty is not one to talk about her own feelings. Karma would be surprised if that wasn´t the same thing Yana does in New Mutants.

Without waiting for her answer-and she has a nagging suspicion it would be just like the same evasive answer Yana likes to give when asked about her time in Limbo and is more than fair- she made her question. "You´d not like Kurt?" is a simple question but it carries more weight to Kitty. "Is he a bad man?" she concluded as she heard many things about him. Both good and bad.

Kitty is taken by surprise by such a question and shakes her head as if she was an insulting part of this question. "No, far from it. He´s a wonderful person...even after suffering what he did ...he still remains a good person at heart" she speaks now more firmly. "selfless, brave and caring. Kurt Wagner is a good man"

Karma arch one of her eyebrows at this. "But ...?" her question trails off and Kitty thinks about it. Kurt has its flaws, it has its strength. What would mean to date Kurt Wagner? That is a question she never once thought about it.

"He only thinks by his dick and It does wonder to my self-esteem," Kitty responds recalling her only relationship and how it end quickly either thanks to their own immaturity or because Kitty was too insecure about her own looks. "Guess I have my issues too. I sometimes don´t like what I see in the mirror. I ...sometimes wish to be like Meggan...or Rachel"

Karma blinks seem to understand the feeling. "Sometimes, I wish I was taller. My sister is the tallest in our family and I sort envy her for this" there are longing and sadness in her tone. She does miss her family very much and Kitty feels that (her aunt is here, but, where is her mother? The FBI didn´t give much info for their own safety) "But if Kurt changes his ways...would you accept him as his soulmate?"

Kitty bites her lips. Would she? Could he? "I suppose I´ll. Right now...we´re not right for each other. Too immature and too stuck in our own issues to work as a couple...maybe in the future" and Karma changes the subject mercifully.

Kitty forgets to take the white pill and how she forget this crucial detail is something she has yet to understand, however, she can feel what he feels and maybe a selfish part of her wants this feeling too.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

The day rises as always and Rachel is on her second mug of coffee- a mug Scott and Jean gave to Rachel. It has a Firebird draw it and she wonders who made the draw. Scott or Jean? In her timeline, her mother was a terrible artist-and is blessed by having the kitchen to herself.

Not for long, as Rhane Sinclair shows up ready to make her own breakfast and talking idly about her favorite boy band- a band Rachel never heard of it, but, then again...Rachel is not one to care for the pop culture and she only knows about Star Wars and Star Trek simply to mess with Kitty- but let Rhane speak excitedly about said boy band as everyone deserves to have their own joys in life.

"Which one of them you think is the most handsome?" Rhane asked and Rachel can only shurgs at this question and it didn´t hinder her excitement as Rhane show an image of the said boy band from her cellphone for Rachel. "Is Chad? He´s really handsome...or maybe Larry" and she looks really excited.

"Uhm, all of them look the same to me" she replies painfully aware how someone of her age (and timeline) couldn´t bond very well with the interest of 14 years old.

Rhane looks confused. "Not even Chris? Why?" she asked truly bewildered as if each member of this boy band is the reincarnation of a Greek God.

Rachel took a sip of her coffee. "They don´t have the right body parts to get my attention...plus, I never heard of them" and she rose from her chair and mess with Rhane´s hair as she leaves using her telekinesis to put the mug on the kitchen sink and wash it out.

"What?" Rhane asked herself as she hides the image of her favorite boy band and wonders if this was some sort of mistake. If Rachel is not attracted to the men (she´s aware those men in the boy band are a bit older to be called boy band) then...is Rachel attract to girls too?

This is so confusing. She thought to hold her cross the only present her father gave to her.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt Wagner remembers the conversation Kitty and Karma had. Had half of his mind ready to tell her to take the pills (wasn´t that the whole point?) and maybe that´s his meaner side, however, Kurt is utterly taken back by how she defends him...how she thinks he´s a good man, yet, has no problem in pointing his flaws.

We have flaws, Katzchen...

He thought ponders about the possibility if Kitty took her pill recalling how last night she just forgets- was an honest mistake or not? and Kurt can at least reconize how Kitty cna have a meaner side too...just like him - and wonder if he should mention something...or not.

And you think I´m a good man ...

Kurt wants nothing more than just drink coffee and try to understand his own feelings and this situation. Is he upset Kitty is his soulmate? Not really, but it does show how Kurt has no real understanding about many things regarding relationships.

As he enters the kitchen, already imagining his coffee, his golden eyes witness Rhane on the verge of crying as she´s holding her cellphone as if something precious. "Rhane?" he asked and wonders if he should call Dr. Moira.

"Kurt, Am I a bad person?" she asked with a tone of desperation in her voice. Kurt can listen to her because he knows deep well how is important to rant (is a bit ironic coming from him)

"Why you ask this?" Kurt gently asked sitting next to her. His tail manages to found some napkins and offers to Rhane to clear her nose.  And once she takes a deep breath and dries some of her tears she tries again.

"I was raised by all the rules of the catholicism. You too, right?" Kurt only nods and it gives some confidence in her speech. "And the bible, as my father once told me, says that the impure will go to hell" and she looks at the open door of the kitchen. "and this is making me confusing"

Kurt frown slightly at this having a clear idea of where Rhane is referring but letting she continue.

"But...Karma is so gentle and Ray does not seem like a bad person...so, are all people like that....are all or Am I wrong?" she asked as if she´s confessing a grave sin.

"The word you´re searching is gay, Rhane" he spoke after Rhane gives her angst away to Kurt. "And I get it, some less enlight people believe God hates those who don´t think like them...Rhane, people like that don´t have God in their hearts" and this hit Rhane strongly. Can she truly think her father was a good man? Not really.

"But ...what I do with my faith?"

"Rhane...God loves us all and our sexuality means nothing to us. Would you stop being friends with Karma just because she likes girls?" Kurt asked and Rhane shakes her head.

"Would you think differently of Rachel because of her too like girls?"

Rhane denies it again.

"Then why you would stop having faith in God? The real God loves us all, gay, straight, trans or even mutant...we´re all his..." he ponders remembering Good Omens and Call of Zaorva for a moment. "or her children. So, did I help a little?"

She nods. "How you still keep your faith after all the missions? "

"Because I need to believe. Because I just have faith, Rhane...I believe in God who loves us all. Just that"

"Thank you, Kurt"

"If you have doubts about God or anything else...I´m here"

"Thank you. I have so many questions and I don´t know how to make them now"

[rey-is-ace-rey-is-aro]

.

[mzcashcomedy]

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#tbt A Video I did 2 Years Ago & I Still Feel The Same Way 🤷🏾‍♀️ WARNING😲😲😲😲 If You’re Offended Easily, #KeepScrolling👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾👉🏾When It Don’t Make $$’s, It Damn Sure Doesn’t Make Sense🤔😒 There’s more to life, live it!! #Message #Mothers #LiveLife #Babies #GrownKids #ISaidWhatISaid #IfItDontMakeDollarsItDontMakeSense #BeSmart #TimeIsPrescious #CNAJobs #CNA #HomeHealthAide #Nursing #GetMoney #PaidInFu ll https://www.instagram.com/p/B96e6_khuwZ/?igshid=quk9akgpr1u5

[juustken]

holy shit.

I go from 0-100 in a manner of seconds and have a complete meltdown about something. (it's changed in a manner of how I express my emotions during said meltdown. e.g. angrily yelling, sobbing, etc.) Before I was put on a mood stabilizer I would have huge bursts of angry fits while driving. I would be super impatient, nearly have like road rage like behavior over things like the light turning red on me when I had somewhere I needed to be or even just wanted to go.

That went away, and then it was like I switched gears and anything that made me even the slightest bit upset made me just sob uncontrollably. whether that be out of anger and frustration or actual sadness. i cry when im frustrated, but these were not your typical episodes of crying because I was frustrated. these were full on meltdowns of hysterical sobbing. my last job I was at I worked as a CNA in a hospital, and due to new federal mandates on masking and vaccination status, my hospital followed suit and if you were not vaccinated by a specific date you were going to lose your job. so people were quitting. or, which i will go into more detail later, people would call off for the sake of calling off that day. so we were always short. and when we were short, that meant us CNAs had more patients we had to work with. this became a consistent problem the entire time I worked there. I would come into work, find out we were short and immediately just sit there and be glum my entire shift. and it never got better. it never got easier. it actually got worse. i would come in and see that and have full blown meltdowns about it. there was one time i had purposely scheduled myself off on Halloween, because for me, it's not just Halloween, it's a wiccan holiday for me. im wiccan, i celebrate wiccan holidays, and this one was a big deal for me. i scheduled myself off and then i saw i was scheduled for that day, i tried to change it back and say i couldnt work, it got denied and they told me i had to find someone to work my shift because we were already short on CNAs for that day. i reached out to everyone that i could and no one would work for me, so i had to work. my wife told me to call off but i didn't want to keep calling off for no reason. i'd already called off so much. so i didnt get to spend that day with my wife at all, she didn't get off work until 6:15 and I left for work at 6.

TW ahead suicide mention/hospitalization

I was so upset all night that I had to be there at work on one of the biggest holiday my religion recognizes. I was crying all night and started to feel really hopeless about everything. I started spiraling really bad and got in my head to the point I started feeling suicidal. Not just because I didn't get a "dumb" holiday off, I was just overthinking everything in my life. How much I hated my job, how I didn't really have any friends, how I'd lost so many friends in the past, how I couldn't go back and fix any of that, how I just wanted to get out of healthcare and just be okay again. It got so bad it spiked a panic attack that basically led me to really want to k*ll myself. But at the same time...I didn't. It's always a little voice in the back of your head that says "don't do it, there are people who love you and would miss you" and that little voice basically screamed at me and I went to find help. I found one of my nurses that I trusted and I pulled her aside and told her I needed to talk to her in private. I just broke down sobbing in front of her and told her what was going on, she told me she'd help me and we went to talk to the supervisor that night, the supervisor asked me if I felt safe driving home or if there was someone able to come and get me and my wife had already gone to sleep and I didn't feel safe enough to drive myself home. But... from there it just got so much worse. I ended up in the ER and I told them what was going on, and since I was technically "at risk of hurting myself" I was given paper scrubs to change into, my stuff was taken away from me aside from my phone, and I called my wife and woke her up sobbing telling her what was happening. I was fucking scared. I had no idea what was going to happen. I waited and waited and finally they took me to the psychiatric services where I was fucking escorted by a nurse and a security guard, asked a bunch of questions and I was even scanned by the security guard to make sure I didn't have anything on me I could hurt myself with. Everything was taken from me. My phone, my watch, my belongings, all I had was me and my paper scrubs. I waited in a room with a bunch of recliners and other people and given two pillows and a blanket where I would rest if I wanted. I was humiliated. I was embarrassed and I just wanted to go home and be with my wife and fur babies.

I finally got to talk to a doctor and a social worker and they asked me if I thought I needed inpatient care, and even they thought I didn't and I agreed, I just wanted to go home. The social worker ended up calling my wife and asking her if she trusted me enough to be safe, she recommended to her that she hide my meds from me and only give them to me when I absolutely needed them, hide sharp objects from me, the list goes on. the social worker finally got back with me and we created a safety plan and from there I had to wait to be discharged.

I wasn't discharged until after 8 am and I arrived to the ER at about 1 am. I was in that awful place for about 7 hours and when my wife came to pick me up I just sobbed the entire way home. Honestly I'd forgotten about what date it was when I was in the hospital because I've tried to just...forget about it. It haunts me and I don't like to think about that time in my life since I'm in such a better place now.

The point is.. I go from 0-100 really, really easily. Especially when I get upset about something important to me. To the point of feeling like the world is ending or that I shouldn't be around anymore. It's actually pretty awful and I wish I wasn't this way.

We really do live in a society lads