#then i need to know if anyone will let me do monthly payments.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Are you sure you don’t want to move in with me?”

A smile spread on your lips, though it quickly shifted into a frown as you gently set down the heavy cardboard box, holding the rest of your belongings. It had been two months since your father’s monthly payments stopped. Two months since, no matter what you tried, you couldn’t reach your dad or anyone close to him. Two months since you’ve been trying to find a job, but no luck so far. In the end, you decided to move out of the apartment your dad had insisted on you renting, and moved into a smaller and cheaper one.

“Nah, I’ll be fine, I promise.” Your best friend frowned, concern painted across her face. For someone who was usually so carefree, she now looked like she was about to suffer a breakdown.

“I know you don’t like my roommates, but they aren’t so bad once you get to know them. And I’m really worried about leaving you here. This part of town just isn’t safe.” You chuckled and nodded. She was right after all.

The only place you could afford with the rest of your savings was in the part of town everyone was warned to stay away from. The part with the highest crime rate in the entire city. The part where just a few weeks ago, a dead college student had been found. But what were you to do? As much as you loved your friend, her male roommate was creepy and you didn’t like the way he looked at you. No way you’d survive moving in with them. So, the cheap apartment in the creepy part of town it was.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. I have pepper spray and my dad had me learn self-defense. If anyone tries something funny, you’ll have to worry about him, not me!” A grin spread across your lips as you gave her a thumbs up, trying to look as confident as possible. In response, she just rolled her eyes.

“Fine, but…you better facetime me whenever you’re walking home. And have your location on at all times, you hear me?” You nodded and pulled out your phone, quickly turning the location share on, so she would stop worrying. As much as you loved her, it was starting to get repetitive.

Your friend continued to help you, before you ushered her out, telling her to get home safely and before it got dark out. Then you continued to move in, unpacking and slowly getting comfortable. Well…as comfortable as you could get when there were what felt like constant sirens and other noises you weren’t too happy to hear. Banging and moans from your next-door neighbors, screams and crashing from upstairs, and weird gurgling from the hallway. Good thing you had some noise-cancelling headphones, sounded like you would need them.

You had to admit, the first few nights, you didn’t sleep much. The noises and the general paranoia were enough to keep you up, but after a week or so, you got used to it. You put a knife on your nightstand, put a chair against the door, and glasses against the windows. To be honest, you developed your own little routine, which you quite enjoyed. And if you added the job hunt - which had still not been successful - and the work for college, you rarely had the energy to truly care about your situation at the end of the day.

Another week or so went by and you found yourself in the cafe on the campus, sending out more job applications, but it seemed like no one wanted to hire a college student who could only work odd hours. Frustration wafted through you, so you decided to grab another drink and quickly got in line, not paying attention to your surroundings. You promptly gave your order and went to pay, but before you could, the person behind you spoke up, “I got it.”, and before you could interject, they placed tapped their card, and your order was paid for.

When you turned around to thank the kind stranger, you quickly realized it wasn’t a stranger. “Mister Riley?”

A/N: Since it's been almost a year since I posted the idea, let's try this. Let me know what you think!

@alilstressyandlotdepressy @brickwall035 @trampondemand @inarabee @blinca @rileys3dworld

[cauldroncreations]

why did god think it would be so funny to give me a terrible terrible phobia of anything to do with losing teeth or tooth pain or infection while also forcing me to go through some of the most horrifying tooth related ailments

[caffichai]

Food Bank Fundraiser

Hi everyone!

First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who's been leaving such nice tags/comments on stuff I've posted! It's been really encouraging (o^▽^o)

Anyway, I think we all know it's very dark days on the economic front for many of us. So as such, I'd like to help raise some funds for Food Banks Canada! In exchange for you making a donation to the food bank, I will draw a character suggestion!

I know this is not really the sort of thing I normally do or post here but... many folks are struggling to put food on the table right now, and the food bank is a source of support for many and provides an absolute necessity. I've seen many people struggling in my own city, and food security has become an even bigger issue than it already was in the last couple of years with the food bank struggling to keep up with demand. Of course, food security is an issue across the whole country that's putting a huge strain on food banks, with nearly 5% of the entire population making use of food banks monthly, and 23% of the population reporting food insecurity (CBC, 2024; Global News, 2024). Unsurprisingly, those who are already most disadvantaged suffer the effects of food scarcity even more (Statistics Canada, 2023). To make matters more desperate, Canada's food bank system is on the brink of collapse (CTV News, 2024).

I know this isn't going to something big enough to change the world or anything, but being able to make even a small impact for individual people is important too!

✨Incentives✨

Of course, I'm sure people aren't just in it for a reward, but rewards make things all the sweeter, right?

For those who want to contribute, I'll take a character suggestion and add it to a poll (depending on the number of contributors, it may be split up into multiple polls), and then I'll draw as many as I can from top to bottom ranking! If you contribute, please send me a DM with your donation receipt and your character idea! They won't necessarily all be drawn in the same style, and they'll be done according to how much time I've got. (I know that commissions are probably the biggest incentive, but realistically, I struggle to get them done quickly and they're probably not that affordable to everyone)

If you prefer SFW or NSFW, you can let me know (But NSFW will be posted to Cohost). If you make a bigger contribution, I'll reach out to you and ask if you wanna see more specifics/details in your piece. How's that for sweetening the pie? :3

For those who can't make a donation (which is completely understandable), simply spreading the post is also helpful, and I appreciate that greatly as well!

Don't forget that giving a donation allows you to get a tax break based on the amount donated as well!

Alternatives?

If you'd rather donate to your own local food bank, that's great too! You can DM me and send me a pic of your receipt and I'll still add your suggestion to the poll.

If you REALLY want a commission, you can also DM me and I'll do my best to fulfil it! I won't be taking commissions for this till/if there's at least a couple of items on the poll though. The proceeds will go to my own local food bank. The commission will be done later though, and may take some time to fulfil. I take payment only after starting.

When do we start??

I guess once there's a good number of poll options? I have no idea how long that will be, but rest assured I'll keep you updated!

Where do we contribute?

You can make your donation to Food Banks Canada! They really need it!

Alternatively, you can make a donation to your local food bank or equivalent charity.

Other Questions?

Feel free to send me a message or an ask! I'll get back to you ASAP. If I need to include more details or clarify something, let me know! It's my first time doing this!

TL;DR

I want to help raise money for food banks! Anyone who contributes to Food Banks Canada (or donates to their own local food bank or equivalent charity) can DM me with their receipt and give a character to add to the poll. Poll characters will be drawn in order of their ranking, as many as I can manage, over as long a period of time as I can manage!

No pressure to donate of course, I just figured this would be a fun way of raising a bit of money to help out, and allow us to donate more than what I personally can

Current Contributor Count: 13

Suggested Characters:

Imagine your beloved, obscure or popular character here on this poll list! Oooooooh, how lucrative :3

Total funds raised:

780.36$!!!

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#365

“I just got the notice.  It’s done.  I never thought I would have seen a wire transfer of fifty thousand dollars into my account.  OK shithead, you are for real.  Get naked.  I want to inspect my property.  That’s what you are to me.  You are a cunt.  You are a toilet.  You are a punching bag.  You are whatever the fuck I want to make of you.  Right now, I want you naked…. 

“I don’t give a shit about those two drivers over there.  Leave your clothes right there, but hand me your phone.  Look at the screen.  I saw your post to Facebook.  You were able to follow orders.  The video was short and to the point.  You let your family and friends know that you met a hot daddy that you are moving in with, and that you will be living off the grid and that you won’t be able to respond to anyone for a long time.  You actually told them not to worry, that you trust me.  That last part was a nice added touch.

“What’s your passcode?...  I’m going to change it and then deactivate the facial recognition.  Your phone will be locked away, but I will still need to access it from time to time—you know, for the $5,000 monthly payment to me.  Which reminds me, what is your password for money transfers?...  Ok.  This is your first real test….  Yup that works.  I’m going to change that code later.

“Stand up and turn around.  Let me see what I own for the next year.  Nice tiny pecker.  Don’t like that it feels that it is free to get hard.  I completely understand why it is hard.  I’m that fucking hot.  When I install you inside the cab, I’ll have a cage to put on it.  It won’t come off too often, if ever. 

“Are you naturally smooth, or do you shave your chest?...  Good.  No manly pelt for you, God made sure of it.  Your pubes will come off in a bit too.  Turn around, let me see my new fuck hole….  Nice and hairless.  You douched out like I told you?  Good.  We’ll get you set up for cleaning out while on the road.  How many times in the past week have you been bred?... 

“Interesting.  I don’t get it.  You are quite cute.  You seem to have no problem getting men to fuck you.  You have money, enough to not only pay me over 100K across the next year, but you can take a year off to be tied up, roughed up, fucked up in the back cab of some unknown brutal asshole truck driver.

“I don’t know what you are running from.  And I don’t care.  What I do care about is I don’t want some drama creeping into my cab, during the year you are with me and the time after.

“Get on your knees and look up and into your phone’s camera.  I want you to say the following in your own words.  That you come here of your own choice.  You are paying me $50,000 up front to live in cab with me, and $5,000 each month.  This is non-refundable at any time.  You want to be controlled by me in all aspect of your life.  You know that I am a brutal sadistic man.  Sex with me is not a guarantee and is not part of the money paid.  I want you to beg on camera for me to brutally use you, sexually and otherwise.  That includes using you anyway I see fit.  You consent to all my demands.  You can revoke it at any time and terminate our agreement.  In fact you know either of us can terminate this role.  If I do it, you will be left naked on the side of the road somewhere.  If you do it for any reason, then you would gladly pay me a penalty of additional $50K, transferred from this phone.  You will beg to be bound for most of the day.  You will beg for me to humiliate you and degrade you.  You got all that?

“Good.  Now look at your phone’s camera…. Wait I should also get you on my camera too.  Can’t be too cautious….  Focus your attention on your phone, and… go….

––––

“That’s done.  So now let’s get you locked up properly in the cab.  Come here.  When crawling into my cab and I’m right behind you, pause and lean over my seat.  Stick your pussy out.  Let the world see your ass.  I want to check out my new fuck hole. 

“This is a pretty pussy.  Oh there is some hair back here.  Don’t start yelping now.  I just yanked out a couple.  There’s a lot more to pull out.  What?  You think I’m going to use my clippers on a pussy?  Or your crotch?  Fuck that.  You’ll be fine with a yank or two… or twenty, or whatever it takes. 

“If you are going to have an issue that I’m going to yank out your hair, this is not going to go well for you.  If you can’t handle one minute with me, how the hell are you going to last for a year?  You paid for one year to submit to a sadistic trucker with one the fattest cocks out there.  Do you still want to do this?  Or are you living in a fantasy world?  If you want to bail, now is the time.  I will pull out of here, leaving you naked without your phone.  And I will definitely make sure that the penalty fee is transferred to my account before you can even make it over to one of those two drivers over there.

“What’s it going to be?  Climb down and go over to them, or climb into the bunk on your back and get your legs up high.  You have ten seconds to decide your next year.

“Atta faggot.  When you get up there, you’ll see some ankle and wrist cuffs.  Go ahead and put them on.  I need to secure your shit. 

––––

“Hey shithead.  I talked with one of the other drivers who was watching you present yourself to me.  He wants to fuck you.  I told him that I will only let him if he’s brutal.  He just smiled and said, ‘Ohhhhh I can do that.’  So it looks you got your first fuck customer. 

“Damn you look good.  But let’s get you secured.  These wrist restraints get clipped here.  You secure?...  Good.  Now this ankle goes over here.  The hard one is this last ankle.  The fags I secure always find this difficult….  Relax.  Relax this leg.  Fucker, just suffer through the pain.  This is the pose you will be in as we drive across the country; your cunt leading the way.

“Now for this.  See this.  This is not your ordinary chastity cage.  No this one flattens your dick head to just over half an inch.  There is no way for you pull out.  Your balls, as tiny as they are, are pushed in your taint region so that when you sit down, you will crush them.  You won’t be able to get a hard on due to the pain it causes.  This is going to hurt. 

“Scream.  I don’t give a fuck.  This is going on.  There!  Now for the lock….  With that click, this is not coming off. 

“Oh shit!  He’s already here.

“Come on up….  I was about to cunt the fag.  You can watch….  I just need to remove some of his pubes.  Get over there so you can watch.  I don’t use a clipper or anything like that.  I just grab a hold of a tuft and yank it out.  The faggots always scream when I do that.  That’s music to my ears.  Gets me rock hard.

“No, you can leave the curtain open.  I don’t give a shit who sees me take ownership of this fagmeat.  If the other driver wants to join, so be it.  This is the pussy’s first moments submitting to me; he needs to know what’s in store for him for the next year.

“Hey shithead, open your fucking mouth.  Eat your pubic hair.  Chew and swallow.  Everything that gets yanked out goes right into your mouth.

“That’s what you got to do to these fags.  He knew that I am a sadistic bastard when he agreed to live with me for a year.  He knew that’s what he was paying me for….

“Yeah, he paid me fifty thousand to ride with me and ride me….  No shit!  And he’s paying me five thousand every month.  Fuck yeah.  The first transfer went through about ten minutes ago.  A friend of mine told me that I should be charging for my fat cock.  He told me about a site where this type of shit goes on.  I posted that I’m a driver with a seven by eight-inch dick looking for a hole to fuck while on the road for the next year.  I jokingly put a fifty-thousand-dollar price tag, and wouldn’t you know it within a week, this faggot replied.  Once I showed him a pic of my cock and me next to my tractor, he wanted to throw money at me. 

“Open up.  Eat this last tuft.  I will save the rest of your snatch for another time.  It’s time for me to fuck this cunt.  Let me show you the dick that will own your life.  Look at it.  It’s barely rock hard, and it’s already fatter than a beer can.  You got me leaking boy.  There is so much slop under my foreskin.  You will be expected to clean me up every day, after every time I fuck you.

“Hand me some of that lube.

“Hey shithead.  You ready to be cunted?  The lube goes on for my pleasure, not yours….

“Scream fucker scream.  Right to the root.  Resist or accept me, I don’t give a shit.  I’m going to dump my three-day load into you through all your screaming.  You want me to cum faster, keep screaming.  It ain’t going to take me long.  First cuntings never do.  Your pussy walls are like silk on my dick.  Oh fuck.  I’m gonna cum. 

“Look up at me.  You know I own you?  You know this cunt is mine?  Just nod.  Good.  You want this load?  Of course, you do.  It’s what you live for.  It’s gonna cost you though.  Look at my fist.  Here comes your first black eye.

“BOOM!  Fuck yeah.  And I’m gonna cum.  I’m gonna cum!  Ahhhhhh!  Ahhhhhh.  Fuck yeah.

“Whew!  That was fucking good.  You’re up!...  What?  That bother you?  Then don’t fuck him.  I don’t give a shit.  Besides, I love giving black eyes.  My favorite part is making the fagmeat respond ‘I didn’t listen’ to any inquiry as to how it happened.  Damn.  Thinking about that is getting me hard again.  He’s already starting to regain consciousness.

“Hey Shithead!  Rise and shine in the summertime!

“Your dick is still hard.  Go on.  Fuck him…. Yeah, there you go.  Go on give it to him.  You said you would be brutal.  Fuckin’ be brutal….  Yeah yank his nips right off.  He needs to know the year of hell that lies in front of him.”

[theoasiswinds]

Before I forget,

I am going to leave commissions open

I am planning on only taking 6 slots per month, assuming the illustrations are big. If there are headshots, I will leave a few more slots available.

I will continue to work on my graphic novel, but due to the economy I need to get some side gigs to help provide a bit.

If anyone knows someone who wants to do childrens books or small book projects that might be interested in a contract with me, please let me know~!

I am wanting more styles for my porfolio as well as experience for my own book, getting the process down.

I have 1 year to get the first volume out in order to sale merch and books at fanX next year.

Anyhow, if interested in a commission feel free to send me a chat~!

I will keep a monthly list of commissions to keep folks updates and keep track.

For commissions I will accept payments through my Paypal and Kofi Before any payments are made, please fully discuss with me the commission information and once we have an agreement the commission can be made!

And do not do NSFW commissions~!

Thank you~! As always you guys are fantastic!

[ohwolfling]

mutual aid request

hey, y'all. I'm officially at two years unemployed, no freelance gigs. I know everyone thinks AI doesn't *really* take jobs and that if it does it's not taking them *yet* but every little review, pop culture, art site you love has very likely been merged or bought out by a massive corporation since 2020 and those assholes do not care if what they make is good or if it even makes sense in a very basic way.

Many disabled folks made their living (using that term very liberally) by writing, researching, creating art, etc for these places from their home. And now that has been swallowed up as costs are rising.

I'm one of those people. If I can just hit $200 a week, I'll be able to carry on. But that's become increasingly difficult as every single space is pay to play and throttling the visibility of anyone who doesn't.

Without support, I will lose the non-permanent housing I have (I am by all measures but a literal roof still homeless and have been since a rent hike in 2018). Sometimes I can't make it cute when I ask for support. Things have been so bad lately that I'm struggling to even do the monthly bonuses for things like ko-fi or stream consistently on Twitch. Because I'm not eating and I can't afford pain management. I watched the place I'm from crumble in Hurricane Helene and am trying to balance all of the above with trying to make sure my family there is still okay. It's too much to do this alone.

My venmo is MirandaBrave. Sending aid there (please do not mark it as a payment, if you do I'll return it because that gets me in trouble) is preferred but I also have ko-fi which I will link below and at which you can become a monthly member if you're so moved to. Substack has a processing error so unfortunately I'm basically booted out of that system.

Thanks for reading. Please share if you can't help otherwise. I'm not exaggerating or joking. I really struggle with how I'm supposed to ask for help from the neurotypical masses and I'm frustrated that no one seems to take me seriously. It feels like people would rather fund a cat's surgery or someone's new car than keep permanently disabled people alive because of the great sin of needing more than one time support.

[aydaptic]

as some one who struggles with depression and wants to be more involved in my passions and fandom but can’t because capitalism and depression I want to say that I genuinely love how passionate you are with your projects and interests

your like, not to be cheesy or anything but, one of my favorite creators/artists of all time,

your doing great, extra kudos to it all <3

Thank you so phcking much 😘

I relate. That might be hard to believe at 1st -- as I'm very active with my Reed900 WebComic -- but believe me... the situation allowing me to do this is temporary.

It started off as me working on my WebComic whenever I could whilst being a student with limited free time. I failed the class resulting in me essentially being 'free' for almost a year. I could start to focus on fanart then as I had student loans to give me some time. Ofc I have to start paying those student loans back soon.

Currently, I can only do this bc I have an incredible mother who lets me live at her place for free while I earn enough money to pay those loans. Since she knows about my struggles (depression, social anxiety, difficulty in expressing myself, etc.) she wants me to take as long as I need. Don't know where I'd be without her.

I'm also fortunate to get almost 20 bucks a month from generous ppl supporting me with donations. "20 bucks" might not sound like much to anyone but me, but if it weren't for them, I couldn't have begun to work on my future Reed900 TV series. It's just enough to finance a monthly subscription software I have to use for it.

That series is the only way I can legally earn money for my Reed900 work -- bc it'll happen through ad revenue/sponsors -- as taking payment for fanart is illegal. So I'm playing the (legal) long game. Until I get the 1st trailer out, and reach the standards YouTube requires for monetization, I'm not benefitting from anything Reed900. Aside from the joy of making the work itself and interacting with readers/viewers.

I appreciate your kind words and hope it gets better for you soon!

[stardustshelb]

"Strawberry" Part Two

TW: Language and sexual content

Word count: 7,468

Chapter Four

“No! No, absolutely not,” Riley said with a concerned look on her face. I FaceTimed her as soon as I got settled in the Airbnb. Since I was the first one to arrive, I felt as though I should get first pick out of the four-bedroom house. This place was twice the size and so much nicer than my own home; no wonder the bill for the weekend was twice my monthly mortgage payment. I saved the master bedroom for Riley, but I decided to claim the room across the hall from the guest bathroom. While it wasn’t the biggest room in the house, it was definitely the most beautiful, in my opinion. I sat on the bed rubbing my hands across the satin sheets as I stared at my best friend’s worried face. 

I pleaded, “Why not?” 

She exclaimed, “Because he’s a stranger! Because you’re engaged! Because you’re alone! Need I say more?” 

“He’s just coming over to cook for me. Nothing more… I haven’t even texted him yet,” I said.

“Look, you know Kenneth is literally my least favorite person on the planet, but you have to be smart about this. You’re normally so level-headed,” she said with a sigh.

“I wish I could explain the way Josh makes me feel. He made me feel better about myself in the hour and a half I sat next to him than anyone has in the past five years,” I said with a lump in my throat. It was true and I realized now more than ever why staying in his company was vital. I needed to be reminded of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. Josh somehow had the ability to elicit that feeling with his endearing words and beautiful smile.

“Ouch,” Riley said with a disappointed look on her face.

“Riley, you know that wasn’t directed at you,” I said, realizing I should have chosen my words better.

“Listen. I love you. I am not letting your lapse in judgment impact this weekend. Please don’t text him. You have never had to endure the dating world because you’ve been with the same guy your whole life. Men will say anything you want to hear just to get inside you,” she said. 

I knew she was probably right. I had zero experience dating anyone because Kenneth and I have been together since we were kids. I always thought marrying my high school sweetheart was bragworthy, but I feel the opposite now. I have had a secret longing inside me for so long, but change is scary. 

“And what if I do text him? Will you still love me?” I asked honestly.

“Of course, but I can’t say I would support your decision. What’s his last name? Does he live in Nashville? What’s this guy’s deal? What power does he have over you?” she asked like she was interrogating me for a crime I had not yet committed.

“Ok, so I can’t answer the last name part but–” I began.

“Are you serious? You don’t even know his last name?” she interrupted.

“He said he would send me all of his personal information once I texted him. And I will send everything to you. I won’t give him the Airbnb address without receiving what I asked for first,” I explained.

“Text him right now while you’re on FaceTime with me,” she demanded.

“Riley, it’s only been one hour since I left the airport. I don’t want to look desperate,” I replied. I stared at her face while I could see she was thinking of what to say next. Was I really making a mistake by wanting to hangout with him some more?

“Ok, fine.But I want his full name, phone number, picture, social security number, a copy of his birth certificate, and a vehicle description within the next two hours, or I will catch the next flight to Nashville and come kick your ass,” she said with a scowl on her face.

“Within the next two hours…Yes ma’am,” I said with a salute. I ended the FaceTime so I could start to unpack my suitcase. I brought outfits for all of the activities on Riley’s weekend itinerary, something I had no say in creating, but I’ve always been willing to go with the flow. I didn’t bring any extra cute outfits because I expected to stay in tonight. And while that’s still the case, I especially didn’t expect to have company. Would Josh change his clothes before coming? Would it be weird if I didn’t? Why did I care so much?

My phone started to ring which brought me back to planet earth. Kenneth’s name was on my phone screen. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but I figured if I didn’t answer his call, he would only continue to call me.

“Hey,” I said once I picked up my phone.

“Are you at the Airbnb, yet?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ve been here for an hour talking to Riley on FaceTime,” I said.

“Why didn’t you let me know you made it?” he questioned me.

“I honestly had so much on my mind that I intended to, but–” I started.

“Glad to know I’m not on your mind,” he said in an accusatory tone. 

“Kenneth, I don’t want to argue right now. I’m at the Airbnb. I’m unpacking. I need to start decorating the house here soon before everyone gets here tomorrow,” I sighed into the phone.

“What are you doing about dinner?” he asked. Shit.

“I’ll probably DoorDash something local. I’m staying in, you know that,” I reminded him. “Can you send me a picture of Sassy?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, I will here in a bit,” he responded. “I think the guys and I are gonna go grab a beer after we get off work tonight,” he said.

“Didn’t you guys just go out last night?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re still celebrating our big win for the company. Are you seriously questioning me when you’re the one in Nashville on my dime?” he asked.

“Just be safe. Don’t forget to send me a picture of Sassy, please,” I said in an attempt to end the phone call. 

“Yeah, I will. Have a good night, I guess,” he said with the least amount of enthusiasm a human could have.

“Thanks, you too,” I said, returning the disinterested tone. I hung up the phone and stared at myself in the reflection of the full-length mirror near the side of the bed. How can someone who says he loves me make me feel so bad about myself? How can someone who I once loved more than anyone in the world make me feel like I am the unworthiest person on earth?

This feeling of despair solidified my decision. I opened my contacts app and scrolled until I found the name Plagiarism; as soon as I saw it, I let out a laugh. It felt good to laugh again..

Me: “Hey, it’s the girl who has no name.” I hit send without overthinking the text. What if he’s never watched Game of Thrones? What if he doesn’t get it? What if I look like a total idiot?

Plagiarism: “The smart, beautiful, arrogant one?”

Me: “I’ve heard that a couple times today.”

Plagiarism: “I was wondering if you were actually going to text me. I’m glad you did. What would you like me to cook tonight?”

Me: “Chef’s choice. Surprise me.”

Plagiarism: “Any food allergies? Likes? Dislikes?” 

Me: “I’m easy to please.”

Plagiarism: “Noted. I’m going to run to the store because I’m low on groceries. I haven’t been home in a while. I’ll text you when I’m about to check out so you can send me your address.”

Me: “Remember I’m not sending you my address until you send me the safety precautions first.”

Plagiarism: “Right. As you wish…”

I stared at my phone screen waiting for the text bubble to pop up to show he’s sending me the information I’ve asked for. As I wish? What the hell does that even mean? I couldn’t stand waiting on his response a second longer, so I left my phone on the nightstand and began hanging up my clothes for the weekend. I opted to change into the comfy clothes that I brought to lounge in tonight after all. I inspected my hair and makeup in the mirror; I could definitely use a refresh. I carried my toiletries bag to the bathroom and began freshening up. Should I wear perfume? I wasn’t wearing any today on the plane. Would he think I was weird for wearing perfume in pajamas? God I hope he’s wearing that cologne again. Suddenly I heard my phone buzz. I ran to check the screen when I saw it was a text from Riley.

Riley: “Did you text him?”

Me: “Maybe…”

Riley: “Send me his number.”

I knew Riley wouldn’t try to contact him. She just wanted to have his information on hand in case anything were to happen to me. I copied the number I had saved for Plagiarism and forwarded it to her. I put my phone back down on the nightstand to continue freshening up in the bathroom when I heard my phone ringing. Who the hell is calling me?

“Yes?” I asked questionably.

“That’s not even his real phone number!” Riley exclaimed.

“What do you mean it’s not real? I have already texted him… Of course it’s real,” I explained.

“No, I just Googled that number and it’s a Google Voice number. That means he gave you a fake number connected to an app. I don’t like this one bit,” she said.

“Riley, you’re overthinking this–” I tried to respond.

“You’re not thinking at all!” she yelled. I sat in silence as I realized she may be right. All I knew about this stranger was that his name is Josh, he’s a concert photographer, he lives in Nashville, and he listens to a band named Greta Van Fleet. Oh, and he loves his mom. That’s it. 

“Please be smart about this,” Riley pleaded, breaking the awkward silence.

“He just responded!” I yelled into the phone while I put her on speaker. I opened his message to find a selfie that I swear was taken by an angel. I stared at his photo for so long I wanted it burned into my memory. I could tell that he changed clothes too. Those sunglasses from earlier now hung around his sweatshirt collar. I zoomed into the background trying to find details but all I could see was that he was in the driver’s seat of a nice vehicle. His hat from earlier was gone unleashing curls styled into… Is that a mullet? 

“Well what does it say?” Riley yelled to knock me out of my trance.

 I read aloud his text to Riley, “My name is Joshua Michael. You already have my phone number. Here is a picture of what I currently look like. I just pulled into Whole Foods, so I’m heading inside to pick up some groceries for dinner.”

“He has two first names?” Riley questioned.

“You would focus on that,” I said with a laugh. I was too busy staring at the selfie he sent me. His soft smile hid the perfect teeth behind his full lips. His eyes were soft and inviting. I wonder if those are natural curls.

“What did you say he did for a living?” Riley asked.

“He’s a concert photographer,” I replied.

“Well, there’s a country music artist named Joshua Michael. He’s old. Let me search for his photography business–” Riley said.

“I don’t know if he has his own business. He could work for a company,” I said with an annoyed tone that she was still in her investigative mood.

“True. Send me his picture,” Riley commanded. I went back to my messages and saved the selfie he sent me. I texted it to Riley and waited for her commentary.

“Ohhhh, ok Joshua,” she said in a high-pitch tone. She got it.

“I’m telling you, his conversation alone is more enticing than his looks,” I said.

“I understand why you are willing to risk your life for a stranger now,” Riley said.

“He texted me again!” I yelped not acknowledging her dig. 

“Read it to me!” Riley exclaimed.

“Ok, I am grabbing two bottles of wine. One red, one white. Unless you think I should get something else?” I read aloud.

“You don’t even drink,” Riley said.

“I drink!” I defended myself.

“Oh yeah, once in a blue moon doesn’t mean you drink. You better limit yourself to one glass. You know you’re kind of a lightweight,” Riley said. 

“Oh, so now you’re ok with him coming over?” I said with a matter-of-fact tone. Riley had been so against the idea of Josh coming over for dinner until this moment. It’s the first time she sounded like she was in on the idea, so I knew I had to take advantage of it.

“He’s coming over regardless of what I say, so I might as well embrace it. Send me a picture of his vehicle when he pulls into the Airbnb,” she commanded.

“Yes, ma’am. Anything else?” I asked sarcastically.

“I want you to text me periodically through the night to check in, ok?” she instructed.

“Yes, ma’am,” I responded.

“Alright, well have fun. Be safe. I love you more than anything. Use your head. Drink no more than one glass of wine. Text me often and–” she tried to say.

“Ok, ok. I got it. I need to get off the phone to freshen up my makeup,” I interrupted. I said goodbye to Riley and hung up the phone. I went back to my text messages to reply to Josh; I wondered if he was annoyed that I hadn’t responded yet.

Me: “One bottle of white wine would be fine.”

Plagiarism: “I’m buying two just in case.”

Me: “It won’t be necessary.”

Plagiarism: “Then I’ll leave the unopened bottle there for you and your friends to drink later this weekend.”

Me: “How thoughtful.”

Plagiarism: “Always. I’m almost finished here. Can I have your address now or is my background check still processing?” I let out a laugh. Against my own better judgment, I sent him the address to the Airbnb. I couldn’t believe I was about to spend the evening with one of the most interesting, attractive men I have ever met. They don’t have guys like him in my small Oklahoma town. 

Plagiarism: “My GPS says I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

Chapter Five

With 20 minutes to spare, I took what my mother always called a “whore’s bath” in the bathtub. I continued to inspect my hair and makeup in the mirror. Why did I care so much about what I looked like? I brushed my teeth and reapplied my lipstick. I decided on a soft shade of pink to give my lips some color but not too much color. I stood back and examined my lounge set: I got this matching cropped short sleeve sweatshirt and pants on sale at Walmart, and this guy shops at Whole Foods. And he flies in Group A. And he has an assistant. I am so not his type. He is going to be bored of me within the first 10 minutes. 

I put on another layer of deodorant because my nerves were starting to make me sweat. What am I doing? This was a bad idea. This was a stupid idea. I needed to text him right now and tell him I changed my mind. My anxiety was starting to get the best of me, so I started to remember my coping skills. I left the bathroom and sat on the couch in the spacious living room. Breathe. I opened my Spotify app and rather than listening to a familiar song to help calm my nerves, I hit a random song on the Greta Van Fleet playlist that Josh had downloaded to my phone. I closed my eyes and listened to music as I concentrated on my breathing.

“A beauty lives in every soul. The more you love, the more you know. They pass the torch, and it still burns. Once children then, it’s now our turn.”

This song was just what I needed to hear. Did Josh introduce me to my new favorite band? I continued to breathe and take in the beautiful lyrics when I heard a door shut. My eyes shot open and I jumped up from the couch. I glanced over the living room once more to make sure everything looked perfect. I peaked out the window to see him getting the bags of groceries out of the back of his Jeep. I quickly snapped a picture to text to Riley before he saw me. I continued to watch him from the window as he grabbed his final bag. Did he buy the whole damn store? I moved away from the window and waited by the door to let him in. I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Come on in,” I said as I opened the door. Somehow he looked even better than he did earlier. I glanced at his matching tan sweatsuit that complemented mine. His sweatshirt had a tiny triangular symbol with rhinestones, a symbol I did not recognize, sewn into it. He definitely did not get that from Walmart. I closed the door behind him as he carried what looked like seven bags of groceries to the kitchen. I followed him trying to appear calm, cool, and collected. I sat at one of the barstools behind the counter to watch him as he unpacked his purchases.

“Mrs–” he began.

“Miss,” I corrected him. He looked confused as he glanced at my engagement ring still on my hand. Why didn’t I take this off?

“Miss, I hope you like Polish food,” he said as he pulled out the two bottles of wine.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever had Polish food,” I said in a curious tone.

“I’m about to rock your world,” he said with a smile that displayed the gap that I will dream about tonight. I examined his hairstyle while he unpacked bell peppers, onions, carrots, mushrooms, various spices, and a package of beef. His hair was definitely styled in a way that Kenneth would die before wearing. It was a mullet alright, but not like any mullet you would see in Oklahoma. 

“This is my grandmother’s recipe. Normally it simmers on the stove for several hours, but we don’t have that luxury. It will still be good. It’s my favorite comfort soup. It’s called gulasz,” he explained.

“Like goulash?” I asked.

“Similar, but this is the Polish version. Where are the knives?” he asked as he started to wash the vegetables.

“This is my first time using the kitchen too, so your guess is as good as mine,” I said with a nervous laugh. I got up from the barstool to start opening the plethora of drawers until I found the utensils he would need.

“So you’re Polish?” I asked as I handed him a cutting board.

“Yes,” he said with a sense of pride.

 “Have you ever been to Poland?” I asked as I searched for two wine glasses in the cabinets. “One drink” I practically heard Riley’s voice in my ears.

“No, not yet. It’s definitely on my travel list when I go to Europe later this year,” he said as he stirred the beef inside the pot he found. 

“I’ve never been outside of the United States. Hell, I’ve barely been outside of Oklahoma. By the way, why were you and your assistant in Oklahoma City anyways?” I asked.

“My who–Oh, yeah, he and I had a business meeting yesterday afternoon, so we flew back this morning. Our flight last night was canceled. We showed up to the airport this morning and asked for the earliest flight to Nashville, so we were limited to Southwest. But hey, no complaints now,” he said. Although his back was to me, I could hear the smile in his voice.

“A business meeting for your photography?” I asked as I watched him sprinkle paprika into the pot.

“Yes, something like that,” he said with a smirk as he glanced over his shoulder. “Do you live in Oklahoma City?” he asked.

“Oh, God no. I had to drive an hour and a half to get to the airport. My hometown is tiny. We don’t even have a stoplight,” I said.

“You still live in your hometown?” he asked. I watched him chop the vegetables with great focus. His knife work demonstrated that he was skilled. I gazed at the veins in his hands protruding with every motion. He dumped the sliced vegetables into the pot and covered it with a lid. I realized I had been watching him for too long and almost forgot what he had asked me.

“Yes, everyone left except me,” I said with a laugh to hide the pain in my voice.

Josh immediately stopped what he was doing and turned to face me. I could feel him studying my face as if he were trying to read me like a novel. He slowly walked over to me. I felt my cheeks get warm as he stood so close I could smell his cologne over the aromatic dinner on the stove.

“Are you lonely?” he asked with a look in his eyes I couldn’t quite place. Pity? 

“Most of the time, yes. But it’s a feeling I’ve grown accustomed to,” I said with a shrug.

“I could sense that about you. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t want you to spend your first evening in Nashville alone,” he said looking at my mouth. Did I have lipstick on my teeth? 

“Yes, I definitely appreciate the company. How long until the–what was it called again?” I asked.

“Repeat after me…” he said slowly. “Gulasz.” I watched his mouth closely as his tongue flicked between the syllables. 

“Gulasz…” I repeated back to him.

“Good girl,” he said with a wink. I felt myself forming into a puddle on the floor. “It should be finished in about an hour and a half.”

 I needed to distract myself from him. I moved around him to walk toward the counter where I had left the two empty wine glasses. “Sure, alcohol will help” I could hear Riley again. I realized the wine he had bought needed a corkscrew. The only wine I have ever had only had a twist top.

“This is one of my favorites despite it coming from a grocery store. If I had more time to prepare, I would have brought some bottles from my favorite winery,” he said as he began searching the kitchen drawers for a corkscrew. 

“I’m honestly not a wine connoisseur. I rarely drink,” I said timidly.

“We don’t have to open a bottle if you don’t want to. I’m perfectly fine drinking water,” he said, putting the newly found corkscrew back in the drawer.

“No, no, I would like a glass,” I said with a smile. 

“Are you sure? I would never ask you to do anything you didn’t feel comfortable doing,” he said. His face looked so genuine that I wanted to take a picture to remember it. 

“I’m sure,” I said, holding the glasses out to him. He took them from my hands but never broke eye contact. I couldn’t stand the tension any longer, so I walked into the living room and waited for him to bring us the glasses of wine. I glanced at my phone to see two notifications from Riley and 49 from Nashville Babes. I cleared the group text notification and opened Riley’s messages.

Riley: “Ok, so he drives a nice ass Jeep. Slay.”

Riley: “I need a check-in soon or I’m booking a flight.”

Me: “All is good. Dinner is cooking. I haven’t even had a sip of wine yet.”

I put my phone away as Josh sauntered into the room carrying two glasses of white wine. I placed two coasters on the living room table for him. He took a seat on the couch next to me while handing me my glass.

“Cheers, darling,” he said, holding his glass out.

“Cheers,” I said with a nervous laugh. We clinked glasses and took a sip of the wine. I could feel Josh’s eyes on me but I refused to look at him. I scanned the room looking for something to initiate a conversation.

“Have you always lived in Nashville?” I asked him.

“No, I’m actually from Michigan. I moved here about five-ish years ago,” he said, not breaking his gaze off of me.

“I’ve never been to Michigan either. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you,” I said timidly.

“I bet there is a lot about you that would surprise me,” he said with a wink. I took another drink of my wine to hide my smile. 

“Tell me about that ring on your finger,” he said candidly. Ah, the elephant in the room.

“This is my engagement ring,” I said looking down at my hand. I used to love this ring. I hate that I don’t anymore.

“When is the big day?” he asked.

“There isn’t one,” I said. “Not yet.”

“Marriage isn’t for me,” he said with a sigh.

“Why not?” I asked.

“I just don’t see the purpose. I can love someone, or multiple people in my lifetime, and I don’t need a piece of paper from the government to signify that love. I think society has a twisted expectation with matrimony. If I find someone with whom I want to share a connection with, I will focus my time and energy on that person for as long as I can,” he said finishing his wine. He placed his empty glass on the table next to mine that was still nearly full. 

“To each his own,” I said, eyeing our wine glasses.

“I don’t mean to offend you,” he said.

“You didn’t. I think you have some interesting ways of looking at the world. I’m sure that comes with traveling so much with touring,” I said. Josh looked at me like I had just said the raunchiest curse word he could think of. His shocked expression quickly faded.

“Yes, photography. Touring. Right,” he said as he stood up and made his way into the kitchen. That was weird.

I watched him check the gulasz on the stove before grabbing the opened wine bottle and bringing it back into the living room. “You need to catch up. I’m starting to look like a lush,” he said while pouring himself a second glass. 

“I told you I’m not much of a drinker,” I said, grabbing my glass from his peer pressure. I took another drink as he sat back down on the couch. 

“One more glass and I’ll show you that exotic dance routine,” he said, wiggling his hips. I busted out laughing. 

“Hold on, I’ll need to go get some dollar bills out of my purse!” I said jumping up. Going along with the joke, I polished off my wine and placed the now empty glass back on the table. I scurried into the bedroom in which I claimed earlier to find my purse. I was looking through my wallet when I heard Josh enter the room.

“So this is your bedroom for the weekend?” he asked, looking around. He walked over to the nightstand and placed two full glasses of wine on it.

“I’m not drinking another glass of wine,” I said.

“That’s fine. I’ll drink both,” he said with a smile.

“Joshua Michael, you are a lush,” I said with a giggle. He walked over to where I was standing with the dollar bills in my hand. 

“Are you going to tell me your name?” he asked.

“Do you normally go over to strange women’s houses when you don’t even know their name?” I asked.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” he said with a wink. He moved closer to me. My breathing became short and I found it hard to stay standing. “Honestly, it’s probably best if I don't know your name.”

“Really?” I asked.

“This right here,” he said, reaching out for my hand and toying with my ring. “This right here tells me I don’t need to know your name,” he said. “You will only be here for the weekend and I’m just here for the moment,” he said, still holding my hand in his. “No name… No strings attached,” he said before letting go of my hand. I watched him walk over to the night stand and grab his glass of wine. He was no longer looking at me but I couldn’t stop looking at him. He was waiting for me to make the next move.

Chapter Six

I walked back into the living room, leaving Josh and the wine glasses alone in my bedroom. I could feel the effect of the wine starting to take its toll on me. My lips were tingling with a numbness that was always the first sign of feeling buzzed. I grabbed my phone and texted Riley:

Me: “I’m still good.”

Riley: “What was for dinner?”

“You know you don’t have to go to another room to text him,” Josh said as he walked into the living room with his now empty glass in his hand.

“I’m actually texting Riley to assure her that I am still alive, thank you very much,” I said with a hint of annoyance. 

“Tell her I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for her tomorrow,” he called out as he walked into the kitchen. I looked up from my phone to watch him stirring the contents inside the pot. 

“It smells amazing,” I said.

“It will taste even better. It probably needs another 45 minutes. Can you wait that long?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” I lied. I hadn’t eaten since I left the house this morning. The aroma was making my stomach growl in anticipation. I walked back into my bedroom to grab the new glass of wine that Josh had poured me. I took a few sips to try to trick my brain into thinking I was eating something. Alcohol on an empty stomach. That’s a good idea.

“I thought you weren’t drinking anymore?” Josh asked from the doorway.

“I changed my mind,” I said, taking another sip.

“The bottle is almost empty,” he said with a laugh. 

“Well, that’s not because of me,” I said, sticking my tongue out.

“It’s rude to stick your tongue out at people,” he said walking into the room. I tried to think of something witty to say back. The alcohol was definitely in my system now. I wasn’t drunk but the buzz was nice. 

“I’m not sure how much longer I can wait before dinner,” I said honestly.

“How about I take your mind off of dinner for a bit?” he said, closing the space between us. I gasped when he stood so close to me I could smell the wine on his breath. He took the wine glass out of my hand and placed it on the nightstand. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked me while staring deep into my eyes like he could glimpse into my soul.

“I–I don’t know,” I said nervously.

“I’ll wait until you say yes,” he said, giving me a light kiss on the cheek. At that moment, I felt every nerve in my body combust. I was no longer solid matter; I was a liquid. Without hesitation, I grabbed Josh by the waist and pulled him into a kiss. His full lips kissed mine back and I felt his tongue make its way into my mouth. I pulled him tighter and felt his hands move up my back and into my hair. Every part of me was in this kiss. I lightly bit his bottom lip with my teeth and heard him let out a slight moan. I felt his hand grab the back of my head as he gently guided my body to the bed. 

I began kissing his neck, the same neck I had admired so much on the plane. I tasted his scent and licked the mixture of  cologne and sweat off of his neck. He began to remove his sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. I inhaled suddenly when I saw his perfect chest. I moved my lips down from his neck and began kissing his pecs. I continued to make my way down to his stomach until the peach fuzz below his belly button tickled my chin. I looked up at Josh and saw him smiling as he watched me work my way back up to his lips. He pulled me in for another kiss and I whimpered as he moved his hands all over my body.

“Can I kiss you all over?” he asked me as I tried to hide my grin.

“Where did you have in mind?” I asked playfully. He moved his fingers across my collarbone.

“Here,” he said. Then he moved his fingers lower to my breasts. “Here,” he said again. His fingers began to move slowly downward until they stopped between my legs. “And here,” he said with finality. I removed my sweatshirt over my head and threw it to the floor. I began to unbutton my jeans when Josh’s hands stopped me.

“Let me,” he said in a seductive whisper. I moved my hands to allow him to remove them for me. He pulled my jeans down so slowly I thought I was going to melt into the bed. I could feel my panties sticking to me. He worked his way back up to my upper body and toyed with the clasp of my bra. With only one hand, he swiftly undid it and exposed my bare breasts. He’s definitely a pro at this.

“Wow,” he said while admiring my body. I moved my hands over my face to hide my embarrassment. 

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, still covering my face. 

“Move your hands. I want to see you smile when I kiss you…all over,” he said gently. He moved his face back to my neck and I could feel his tongue swirl against my skin. His facial hair tickled my neck as his mouth moved to kiss my collarbone. Per his request, I moved my hands away from my face and placed them in his hair. I twirled my fingers through his curls as he brought his lips to my breasts. He took my nipple into his mouth and I let out a moan against my will. This noise that escaped me made him even more eager as he sucked and swirled his tongue against me. His free hand grasped my other breast and he moved his mouth to show it the same attention. I looked down to see him to find him staring at me as he moved his mouth even lower down my stomach.

“Can I remove your panties?” he asked.

“Yes,” I sighed. Just then, I felt his hands gently pull the sides of my lace underwear down my legs. He moved his body to the floor and pulled me to the edge of the bed. He went to place his mouth against my entrance when I squeezed my legs together and pushed him back with my hands.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

“It’s just… I don’t…” I said embarrassed.

“You don’t want me to go down on you?” he asked.

“I…I’ve never had anyone do that to me before,” I admitted.

“I want to show you what you’re missing,” he said, teasing my thighs with his hands. 

It’s not that Kenneth and I aren’t sexually active. Well, scratch that. I wouldn’t say we’re even active anymore, but we’ve had sex. We’ve had the same sex since we were teenagers. In the ten years we’ve been together, he has never gone down on me; I guess I’m too embarrassed to ask him. 

While he was still kneeling on the floor, I looked into Josh’s eyes as his head was positioned between my thighs. I gave him a nod and laid my head back to stare at the ceiling. Before I knew it, his tongue began licking my entrance. Oh my God. I felt his tongue work its way up to my clit where he took his time. With each movement of his tongue, I felt my legs twitch out of my control. He continued to grasp my legs with his hands as my body writhed on the mattress. “Oh my God,” I moaned aloud. My thoughts were escaping me as I felt like I had lost total control of my mind, body, and soul. It felt like he was consuming me with every stroke of his tongue.

“Oh my God,” I practically screamed as I felt myself cum. I tried to squeeze my thighs together but he held them firm with his hands and continued to lick my clit. This feeling was nearly leaving me no longer conscious. “Fuck. Josh,” I moaned as I pulled his hair into my clenched fists. He continued to lick me until I could no longer stand it. I let out another scream and squeezed my thighs together so hard I thought I may kill him. He slowly pulled back and I could see his facial hair was dripping wet. Was that from me?

He kissed the top of my entrance one last time before sitting back on his hands and feet. I laid still on top of the bed, nearly unable to move as I tried to process what just happened. 

“I’m going to clean up in the bathroom,” he said, waiting for me to respond before jumping up. I still couldn’t formulate a single word so I laid there waiting for my senses to come back to me. I heard him laugh as he left the room. I scrambled to find my bra and panties while he was gone. I can’t believe that just happened. I can’t believe what I’ve been missing. 

I went to find my phone on the nightstand to see Riley had sent me a series of texts. I skimmed through them and tried to hide my laughter as I sent another check-in text:

Me: So. Much. To. Tell. You. Still alive and very well.

I hit send and put my phone back as Josh entered the bedroom. He found his sweatshirt and began to pull it over his head. He climbed into bed to lay next to me.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly as I could feel his gaze on me. 

“What are you thinking about?” I returned his question with a question. 

“I’m wondering how someone could be engaged to be married, yet they’ve never experienced one of God’s greatest creations,” Josh said with a laugh.

“Ken–He just never has,” I said as I stared into his eyes.

“He’s a moron. You deserve to feel that every day. I love providing that service,” he said with a smirk.

“I can tell you know what you’re doing, but I don’t want to know about your history,” I said, biting my lip.

 “Your taste in particular…” he began to say.

“My taste?” I asked as my cheeks began to redden.

“You taste bitter and sweet… like a strawberry,” he said. “It’s incredible.”

“A strawberry?” I nearly squeaked.

“It’s now my favorite fruit,” he said as he kissed my forehead. He got up from the bed and handed me my clothes from the floor. “Dinner should be ready now,” he said with a laugh.

After freshening up in the bathroom, I made my way into the dining room to find Josh had already made us plates. The room smelled amazing. He opened the second bottle of wine and was pouring us new glasses when I took my seat at the table.

“This looks incredible, thank you,” I said as I waited for him to join me.

“It’s been simmering for a while,” he said with a wink as he placed my wine glass in front of me. He took the seat next to mine and handed me a spoon. I took a bite of the gulasz and fought the urge to moan again this evening. 

“Oh my God,” I said.

“I’ve heard that before,” he said with a smirk. I reached out and pinched him on the arm as he playfully pulled away.

“This may be one of the best things I’ve ever tasted,” I said as I went for a second bite.

“I used to think that too before, well,” he said, raising his eyebrow at me.

“Shut the hell up,” I said laughing.

“So I saved your number in my phone as Strawberry,” he said with a wink. Should I ask him about the Google Voice thing? No, I don’t want to look crazy.

“You think you’ll need my number after tonight?” I said a little too bluntly. 

“You’re still here for a few nights. Maybe we can do this again,” he said with a wink.

“I’m going to be too busy with bars, karaoke, dancing, and strippers,” I said with a smug look on my face. “I won’t be thinking about you.” He can tell I’m lying.

“Thank you again for dinner and for keeping me company,” I said as I collected our dishes to take them to the sink. Josh was searching the cabinets for plastic containers to package the leftover gulasz in. 

“It was an honor,” he said with that brilliant smile of his. It was getting late and I had yet to decorate the Airbnb before the girls’ arrival tomorrow. I was in so much bliss that I had forgotten why I was in Nashville in the first place. I needed to clear his lips, eyes, smile, voice–everything about him from my mind. This was supposed to be Riley’s weekend but thoughts of his tongue consumed me. I walked Josh to the door as he moved in to kiss me goodbye. 

“If I texted you, would you respond?” he asked with one foot literally out the door.

“I might,” I said as I bit my lip.

“I’ll take my chances,” he said as he walked out into the dark driveway. I watched him from the porch as he jumped into his Jeep to leave. I heard my phone ringing from the bedroom. I closed and locked the front door and then took off in a sprint hoping to see the name Plagiarism across my phone screen. Nope.

“Hey,” I said as I answered the phone with a heavy sigh.

“Why do you sound like you are out of breath?” Kenneth asked.

“I just had to run to the bedroom to catch my phone,” I said. “Why are you still up?”

“What did you have for dinner?” he asked instead of answering my question.

“I DoorDashed some pasta from a local Italian place nearby,” I lied into the phone.

“Really?” he asked.

“Mhm,” I said wondering why I felt like I was being interrogated.

“Then why is there no history of any orders from tonight on our DoorDash account?” he asked. Shit.

“I mean I called the restaurant and ordered over the phone. They delivered it,” I quickly added.

“Oh, and thanks for not leaving me anything to eat in the house,” he said. 

“I went grocery shopping before I left. There are plenty of things in the fridge–” I began.

“Yeah, it would have been nice to have some leftovers, but instead I have to cook for myself,” he interrupted. He sounded drunk.

“Look, it’s late. I’m heading to bed. I’m tired from traveling and decorating the house, so if there’s nothing else you have to say to me,” I stated. Kenneth immediately hung up; my brief moment of boldness must have pissed him off even more. I shot Riley a quick text to let her know that I was alone, alive, and going to bed so she wouldn’t be worried before I left my phone on the charger.

I was desperately tired but I needed to decorate the Airbnb for Riley’s bachelorette weekend. I carried the packages of penis and hot pink cowgirl-themed decorations to the living room to begin. To stay awake, I turned on the TV to pull up YouTube to play some background music while I got busy. With the remote, I searched for my possible new favorite band, Greta Van Fleet. I scrolled through the first couple videos until I recognized the face on the thumbnails.

“What the fuck?” I yelled.

[gwydionmisha]

The Boomers Keep Finding New Ways to Endanger My Housing

So good news and bad news on the illegal "Special Assessment" all wrapped up together. For those following on Tumblr, I'd been waiting for the money for the third payment to arrive at my bank account after I transferred it on the 4th, so I could pay the third installment. I couldn't transfer it until the monthly housing auto-withdraw went past or risk my benefits because that would exceed the $2000 limit. My bank said paypal hadn't sent it when I called them. I got a live person at paypal who said it would be sorted today.

There was still only bill money in the account. This time my bank was able to go back further for me. (They were limited database when I'd called before).

HOA stole the whole third installment instead of taking the regular housing payment without informing me or sending a receipt. as of last Friday, their obnoxious customized "Portal" did not have any category for Illegal special assessments, nor did it show the payments for it in the regular legal housing payment category. (I discovered this evening it now does both.) My Social security in toto is significantly smaller than the third installment of the illegal special Assessment. This massively overdrew my account, wracking up fees, none of it anything anyone let me know about.

The operative word here is "Instead of." The Math doesn't add up. They did not take monthly housing. The email they sent threatening to auto-withdraw all accounts owing said it would pull on the 17th, whether we wanted it to or not. By my Math I now owe them the housing payment they did not take last week.

I would need $300ish more to cover the rest of housing I don't have, plus the auto-insurance autowithdraw.

This leaves nothing for bills at all, with is likely to be another 300-400, as I just had to over extend credit for gas for errands and medical stuff this month. I think I can float this part a little while, but January is also a month with extra bills in it and February is the other big semi-annual housing bill, so it's just going to keep getting uglier.

This is so cruel and exhausting and none of it didn't need to happen if the Boomers hadn't been set on (allegedly) wasting the emergency fund on a non-functional security theater fence they put up without asking anyone instead of doing necessary repairs to the buildings with the emergency funds, or if the HOA would just have taken what they were supposed to take and waited until I transferred the third payment as we agreed they would do.

So here I am stuck again, because I'm pretty sure they will overdraw me next Tuesday, causing cascading overdraft fees at the bank.

I hate to do this, but it's been one disaster after another this year, in large and small ways, and this absolutely blind-sided me. Twice.

If you can help: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Gwydion

[tottwriter]

So I'm disabled, right? We all know this. Anyway, what THAT means is that I get welfare to help me, you know...live.

And, in its great wisdom, the UK in recent years decided that, instead of having heaps of different forms of government welfare which all need to be applied for and often overlap/interact in the function they serve, it would be much more sensible to have ONE welfare payment, and just give people different amounts depending on which components they qualify for. They called this "Universal Credit".

Now, I have to say. In principle? This is a good idea! But despite the similarity in name, you should 100% NOT confuse it with the concept of a Universal Basic Income (which is a Very Good Idea, fucking hell can we not just do that instead??), because let me tell you. Universal it fucking ain't.

I'm going through the process of "migrating" to the new system at the moment, and in reading up on the thing, man. It's so fucked up.

First of all, you cannot apply if you have more than £16,000 in savings. Which...okay. I could kinda see the logic in that. But that's a point against "Universal" already, right? And before you say "Oh but Tott, 'Universal' in this context obviously means that it's the one-and-only benefit, right?" - Well, no. There are actually other benefits which it doesn't replace, such as Child Benefit and PIP (A disability thing, if you don't know, don't ask. It's too fucking depressing).

Secondly. Savings in the bank are counted against you, right? And if you have any more than £6k in the bank, you have your monthly payments docked by a percentage of your savings until you fall below the threshold again. But if you own a house, equity held in property is not counted against you. You're potentially free to claim the full amount.

And this is just...it's so fucked up, right? If you own your house, that's fine! You won't be penalised for needing the UC payments to live - which is because half of the benefits being merged into it used to be paid out to working families, to cover how appallingly low our wages are. It would have been an economic apocalypse to count equity. Half the country would have been homeless overnight.

Meanwhile, those who are renting are just...fucked. You can't save up money for a mortgage deposit, even though you could claim UC to cover a mortgage, because you'd have to save more for the deposit than the threshold allows. Any time you save, you'll just have your income docked. So you're trapped in rental accommodation unless you get a windfall, or somehow start earning enough that you don't need the UC. And in the UK, most jobs don't pay a living wage, so most families do need UC. That's why they called it "Universal Credit" instead of "Universal Welfare", by the way. They had to make it sound good to all the Conservatives who are scared of "welfare" even though most of them rely on it too.

So just. Yeah. I'm really angry right now at how entirely fucked up this "benefit" is (In the UK, people use the word "benefits" synonymously with "welfare", which is ironic given they're among the least generous in the entire developed world), but obviously I can't do anything about it because hey. I should just be grateful, right? I live off benefits, woo, what a life! Clearly I have it easy!

Yeah. No home security, and if I balance the books and start to save money, despite the pittance which is my lot, my reward is that they fucking penalise me for it. And yes, this is an old Tory policy which has been carried over into the new Labour government, but I hardly think it's a top priority for anyone to change.

There's a saying among disability campaigners: The cruelty is the point. Shit like this just reminds me how true it really is.

[ejzah]

The Agent and the Fireman, Part 14

***

“Oh, look who graced us with his presence,” Jerry called out as he walked into the office where Deeks was completing the monthly duty schedule. “You’ve been spending so much time with your Fed friends, I thought you might have jumped ship.”

“Yeah, because there’s an ongoing case where they need my expertise,” Deeks said with a smirk that had gotten him out of any number of minor scuffles in his younger days.

“Doesn’t hurt that there’s your lady agent friend there. What’s her name again?”

“Nice try.”

“It was worth a shot. So, is it safe to say you’re smitten?” Jerry continued, not all dissuaded from his purpose. Deeks paused, debating if he say anything. As much time as he and Deeks had spent together recently, they hadn’t exactly discussed any parameters for their fledgling relationship.

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure there weren’t any listening ears around, and lowered his voice.

“I’ve never met anyone like her before. She’s fearless, says what’s on her mind, has this insane laugh. It’s actually more of a cackle than a laugh. The day she got trapped in that building, I swear she was ready to punch me out when I picked her up and carried her out of there.”

“But then she got a good feel of those muscles, and she was a goner,” Jerry teased. “She actually sounds a little like Monica.”

“Hey, we do not go there,” Deeks reminded Jerry with a jab of his finger. “She’s nothing like Monica.”

Jerry shook his head, looking fondly irritated. “Only you would stumble upon a hot federal agent, and actually start dating her.”

“Speaking of said “hot” agent,” Deeks said, picking up his phone as it started ringing. Jerry craned his neck to look over Deeks’ shoulder, but he’d entered Kensi’s contact information under KB. “Looks like they’re in need of my expertise again.” With a grin, Deeks put his phone to his ear.

“You know, you’re really annoying when you’re in love,” Jerry said under his breath.

***

Kensi had given Deeks the address they thought Jason McHenry might be holed up in, but apparently needed his advice on some device they’d found.

She met him as soon as he pulled across the street from a small industrial building. She wore a vest and hand a rifle strapped to her right thigh.

“Kensi, what’s going on?”

“We tracked McHenry here from his mother. You were right, she dropped a payment at a P.O. box yesterday. We took her in, and she eventually gave us this address,” she explained. “We have people watching both exits.”

“That sounds promising,” Deeks said.

“It is. Except for the device rigged to the front door.” Kensi lead him to a small barricade set up nearby where he could see Agents Hanna and Callen standing. “Given his tendency to burn evidence, we used a camera to check and found this.”

They’d reached the barricade by now, and Sam wordlessly handed him a small tablet. He and Callen both wore protective vests and were armed as well.

Tilting the screen away from the sun, Deeks peered at the captured image. There were a multitude of wires and other electrical pieces that made defining the device’s purpose difficult.

“There’s components similar to the last incendiary device you found, but this one does look like it’s rigged to trigger when the door is opened,” Deeks said slowly, enlarging the picture and working his way from one side to the other. “Yeah, there’s a trigger of sorts connected to this wire.”

“Can we disarm it?” Callen asked.

“Possibly. Though I’d need better imaging and possibly a live camera to be safe.” Deeks looked up briefly to find all three agents watching him closely.

“You tell me where to cut and I’ll do it,” Sam told him confidently.

“Sam’s our resident unofficial bomb defuser,” Kensi explained.

“Mm, should I be worried that you have the need for a designated bomb defuser on the team?” he asked, focused on the picture once again.

“Ok, enough chitchat,” Sam interrupted. “Let’s get some more pictures and—”

“Wait!” Deeks pressed a hand to Sam’s chest, physically holding him back. “There’s a secondary fuse on a time control,” he said, gesturing to the picture. “It’s already been triggered. Everybody needs to move now.”

“How long we got?” Sam asked.

“I have no idea,” Deeks said, nodding towards the building. “It could be any second, especially with how long ago he must have triggered it.”

“Alright, everybody evacuate,” Callen ordered, gesturing for Kensi and Deeks to move ahead of him. Deeks heard Sam contacting someone over his radio and giving similar directions as they ran across the street.

They’d just crossed onto the opposite side when a massive explosion rocked the earth around them. Deeks heard Kensi shout his name as he was knocked to the ground, someone crashing into him as he fell.

***

A/N: Bet you weren’t expecting that!

Once again, yes I know that this is not how things work. Just accept the modicum of procedurally stuff and pretend that it all makes sense.

[temptacioun]

— COMMISSIONS

i am opening commissions for anyone that would be interested. i am struggling a little with maintaining rent and monthly payments with the income i have, so i’ve decided to open commissions for a little extra. if you’re interested, keep reading below.

— BASIC INFORMATION

0 / 5

there are five slots, i will be following a first come first serve basis. i’ll be writing both sfw and nsfw content, but keep in mind this is a yandere blog — there will always be an amount of violence, gore and dark content.

when you’re submitting your commissions please do so through pm’s and make sure you’re as detailed as possible. if you want to add your own oc, tell me everything i need to know to make it easier for both of us. include preferred pronouns, physical appearance, personality, likes and dislikes, relationships with other characters you want to appear and history.

give me a detailed plot and what you want to happen or give me creative space to create something for you.

— REFUNDS

i will not be offering refunds. i will be sending you the unfinished project before and you are allowed two revisions for drabbles and fics, as all the money made will be sent to a savings account immediately.

— COMMISSION TYPES

this is a small preview of what i’ll be offering

‣ drabbles and fics — these are pieces with at least 500 words up to 3000 words. depending on your commission they may take me between 1 — 3 weeks depending on the length you requested.

‣ headcanons — headcanons with descriptive points, will take max. 2 days.

⤷ e.g roommates — itadori yuuji

‣ editing / beta reading — i’m offering my help with your fiction. i can check for spelling or grammar mistakes and give suggestions if that’s what you’d like.

‣ layouts & moodboards — this is kind of like a bundle. i’ll be editing you a layout ( header & profile pic ) this can include anything you want, you can also ask for examples.

moodboards will be having 4/6/9 pics with any aesthetic you want or fitting to a story. also will be offering to make covers for your stories.

— FINISHED PIECES

you will be receiving the finished product as a pdf per email ( which won’t be shared anywhere ) i will notify you per pm which email your commission will come from. please don’t share or contact this email again. if you have allowed me to post your commission, i will add the piece to my masterlist and tag you if you’d like.

if you’ve commissioned a layout / moodboard / cover, please give credit when using it.

written pieces are for personal use only. you are not allowed to share or repost the work as your own, nor re–sell it.

— WHAT I WILL WRITE

i will be writing for bnha & jjk only. as this is a yandere blog, they will always be in this sort of au. though you can add any au you want.

‣ oc’s

‣ various kinks

‣ fwb, hybrids, etc

‣ nsfw content

‣ and more

there isn’t much i won’t write. just hit me up with your idea and i’ll let you know.

— PRICING

prices are in european currency, please make sure to keep that in mind when paying.

5€ ⇾ 500 words

10€ ⇾ 501 – 1000 words

15€ ⇾ 1001 – 2000 words

20€ ⇾ 2001 – 3000 words

anything over 3000 words will be priced with 1€ per 100 words. if i go over the estimated length without your wish, i will not be charging you for extra length.

3€ ⇾ for layouts ( header & profile pic )

3€ ⇾ for moodboards or covers

3€ ⇾ for detailed headcanons

5€ ⇾ editing & beta reading

i’ll be offering bundles as well.

5€ ⇾ layout & moodboard bundle

2€+ ⇾ for a moodboard / cover or headcanons added to your fic commission

— PAYMENT

payment will go through paypal only. i’ll be providing my paypal account once both parties have agreed to the commission.

you can ask as many questions as you’d like. asking is always free.

thank you for supporting me in any way. please don’t hesitate to send me an ask if you have any questions. <3

i will still be posting regularly and doing requests as before. if you won’t commission anything maybe still like or reblog so people can see. thank you to everyone!

[heavenknowsffs]

okay so i have around 6€ in my bank account and one of my automatic monthly payments just fell in and i'm about to have negative balance lmao

if anyone wants to "buy me a coffee" / donate bc you like my photography, now would be very much appreciated

if anyone needs anything in terms of copywriting, writing or even design let me know as well bc i can do that too

[firelord-frowny]

HEY!!!!

has this Situation ever happened to any of yall???

say you have some sort of monthly or yearly subscription service, a la netflix or amazon prime or adobe or anything like that.

during your subscription, your debit/credit card expires, and you're automatically issued a new card by your bank or whatever.

a little while later, the thing you subscribe to sends you an email alerting you that their attempt to charge you for the next period failed, and that you need to update your payment information so they can charge you, or else your account will no longer be active.

well, you decide that you don't want to renew your subscription after all, so you let it be, figuring they'll go ahead and just deactivate your account like they said they would.

BUT INSTEAD THEY CHARGE IT TO YOUR NEW FUCKING DEBIT/CREDIT CARD EVEN THOUGH YOU NEITHER GAVE THEM THE NUMBER, NOR AUTHORIZED THEM TO USE IT!!!!

this has happened to me 3 fucking times recently! which, of course, the Lesson i have learned is that clearly i need to cancel my accounts myself instead of trusting that these companies aren't going to invite theirselves into my bank account by using sensitive information that i never even gave them.

like, how is that shit even allowed???

im googling about it and apparently it's spun as some kind of ~convenient service~ in which card companies will hand over your new info to your subscription services in order to ~spare you from the hassle of updating your payment information.~ but since im not a weak ass boot licking capitalist bitch baby, i know they're not doing it as a kind favor to make anyone's life easier - they're doing it to choke more money out of everybody.

but even then, in my situations, the subscription services LITERALLYYYYY STATED that my service would be discontinued if I didn't update the info, and not only did they not discontinue the service, but they also charged me for it! i dont give a fuck what kind of ~agreement~ my bank or my credit card company has with these services. if you tell me you're going to discontinue my account if I don't do X, then that's what you need to fucking do!

don't say "you need to update your payment info in order to continue receiving this service" if what you really mean is "if you don't update your payment info literally nothing is going to change because we're going to get your new credit card info and charge you anyway."

death to america omfg.

[zonerobotnik]

Okay, so now my Messages are set to only getting messages from people I Follow because I am being bombarded with multiple "I swear I'm not begging" and "You gave my friends money, why not me" messages. For the record, I never gave anyone ANYTHING, they're bullshitting me to try to guilt me. Guys, I am NOT well-off. I am living in a bedroom with my husband and kid in my parents' place, and I was living in an RV on a family friend's property before that. I am not going to be throwing money at every single person that screams "I need money for [reasons]" at me, all it's going to do is upset me. And some of these people talk to me like I'm their friend? I don't even know them? They say they're not begging, but they literally contact me for the sole reason of asking for money. If that's not "begging", what is? It's rough that their life has gone bad, but that doesn't make it my responsibility on top of all my own responsibilities. I don't want to be cruel, but I can't spare the money. I am living off my husband's small paycheck, my parents' support and a monthly SSI check that goes to handling things for my family, which we get because my son is disabled and if we get any more money than what we are getting now, he will likely lose his benefits and I can't risk that. I am also currently going through hoops of red tape trying to get my insurance to cover a surgery to fix a problem with my body that causes me daily pain because I can't afford it myself. So, no, I cannot help. I can not help you, so stop sending me these messages. I refuse to flood my Followers' dashes, when they are Following me for my art or my text posts, with hundreds and hundreds of "Give me money" posts from people I don't even know and can't even be sure aren't a scam. And some among you might say "then open up commissions", but let me remind you of what happened the last time I opened commissions: 1) People got entitled and harassed me over the art I did for people and tried to make me draw something I refused to do. 2) I GOT FUCKING SCAMMED for 2000 dollars! Never taking payment through anything but Paypal from now on. 3) The time I take working on commissions is time away from my fics that people tell me to update more often. If you would like to support my work, I have a ko-fi and a patreon. But, I'm not holding my breath on that, based on past experience. 4) The money I got from commissions wasn't worth the time and effort spent and barely made a dent in my finances. Anyways, I just wanted to rant about this because right now my Askbox is closed and my Messages are limited because people have this stupid idea that I can afford to give them money. I can't. I hope things get better for you, but I can't. Good luck to you in the future. And good luck to me too. We all need a little luck right now. I'm grateful for my support network being here for me, I don't think I'd be able to handle this on my own.

[indianrenters2]

Laptop on Rent: Because Who Needs to Buy One Anyway?

In today's fast-moving digital world, staying equipped with the right technology is essential. But does owning a laptop make sense when you only need it temporarily? That’s where IndianRenters comes in, offering a convenient solution for anyone in need of a laptop on rent. Whether it’s for a short-term project, a business meeting, or even personal use, renting a laptop can be a flexible and cost-effective way to meet your tech needs without the long-term commitment.

So, if you’re searching for a laptop rental near me or a laptop on rent in Bangalore, let us guide you through the benefits and options that make renting the smart choice!

Why Rent a Laptop?

Think renting a laptop is only for special cases? Think again! Here’s why renting might be the perfect option for you:

Cost Savings: Why spend on buying when you can save by renting? Whether you need a laptop on rent in Pune for a week or a laptop on rent in Hyderabad for a few months, you’ll only pay for what you need.

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What Are Your Options?

At IndianRenters, we offer a wide range of laptops for rent, customized to your specific needs:

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Renting a laptop from IndianRenters is simple and seamless. Here's how it works:

Get in Touch: Visit IndianRenters.com or call us to let us know your requirements. Our team will provide you with a personalized quote tailored to your needs.

Review the Details: Our quotes are clear and transparent. Review the specifications and pricing—there are no hidden fees, so you know exactly what you’re getting.

Secure Your Rental: Send over your KYC documents and make the security deposit. That’s it!

Delivery: We’ll deliver your rental right to your doorstep or, if you prefer, you can pick it up from our office.

Enjoy & Return: Use the laptop for your rental period and return it when done. Need more time? Just let us know, and we’ll gladly extend your rental.

Why Choose IndianRenters?

When you choose IndianRenters, you’re not just getting a laptop—you’re getting a trusted partner who makes sure your experience is easy and stress-free. Here’s what you can expect:

Affordable Prices: Renting is often far more budget-friendly than buying, especially for short-term needs.

Flexibility: Need a laptop for a few days, a few months, or longer? We’ll work with your schedule to make sure you get what you need, when you need it.

Wide Selection: Whether you’re looking for something basic or high-end, we have a laptop that fits your requirements.

Top-Quality Devices: Every laptop is carefully inspected and maintained to ensure it’s in top condition.

24/7 Support: Our friendly customer service team is always here to help, whether it’s with technical support or answering any questions you have.

FAQs

Q: Can I rent a laptop for just one day? A: Yes! Whether you’re looking for a laptop on rent in Delhi, Mumbai, or anywhere else, we offer daily, weekly, and monthly rentals.

Q: What payment methods do you accept? A: We accept credit cards, NEFT, IMPS, and even cash on delivery for your convenience.

Q: Is a security deposit required? A: Yes, a refundable deposit is required, but don’t worry—it’ll be returned to you once the laptop is collected and checked.

Q: Can I extend my rental? A: Absolutely! Just let us know in advance, and we’ll adjust your rental period accordingly.

Ready to Rent?

If you’re looking for a convenient and budget-friendly option, renting a laptop is the way to go. At IndianRenters, we make sure the process is easy, fast, and tailored to your needs. Whether you’re looking for a laptop on rent in Mumbai, Hyderabad, or Gurgaon, we’re here to provide the perfect solution.

Visit IndianRenters.com today to get started and enjoy a hassle-free laptop rental experience!