#then i close my eyes and i try to gaslight myself like no i just imagined that i didn’t really see that noooo everything is fine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silv3rswirls · 1 year ago

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Fawn

warnings: 18+, age gap(reader is 18), coercion, corruption, praise, humiliation, dirty talk, hair pulling, gaslighting and manipulation, alcoholism, some religious themes/talk, virgin/innocent reader, dark thoughts/fantasies, very vague mentions of familial abuse, shamming, obsession, overall yoongi is a ✨creep✨

Note: sometimes I piss myself off because I've been dying over this fic for days and now I don't even like it much anymore- can I have nothing?😭idk might start writing more smut now??

You were a fawn in headlights when he first saw you in that clearing. Your back had been to him and at first, he had swore and scoffed at you because who hangs around in the woods disturbing his peace? Everyone in this town knew he lurked behind the tree line, drinking himself stupid and doing whatever fucked up activities they rumored him to. Yoongi never minded being the talk of the town. He’d been an outcast since his teenage years. Since he stopped going to church with his family like every other prim family populating the place. They took some fun teenage rebellion and ran with it- he liked to think himself not as messed up as people whispered he was. He’d always thought himself not to be until he met you.

He found you picking berries and flowers, anything that looked pretty out in the forest. You were kneeling trying to choose the perfect dandelion to add to your basket when he stormed over; pissed that someone was in his usual drink until he couldn’t move anymore spot. He liked it because it was a short walk from where he liked to stare at the Sunday churchgoers leaving and freak them out. He could recall seeing you before, always glued to your mother's side wherever you went.

But he stayed away and kept to himself like always. He couldn’t say he had many, if any, friends around here. He’d been on his own since graduating and his family moved away shortly after. He hadn’t been close to them at the time so being left alone was welcomed at first. As for everyone else; if someone didn’t fit in around here they were an outcast without much care and it seemed that no one cared for him.

“What are you doing?” He barked, scowling as he approached you. Bottles clinked in the bag he was loosely holding and his cigarette was at the end of its life. You stood up, stumbling back a bit in shock. Yoongi wasn’t a kind person, so you’d heard, and his appearance didn’t do anything to help. He was scowling, his hair was frazzled from rolling out of bed an hour or so ago. Dressed in darker colors, a sweater and thick coat layered in him. You wanted to laugh over how tired and grumpy he looked, but the nervous swirl in your stomach told you not to.

“I’m just picking flowers” You straightened up, knuckles white as you gripped the basket and your free hand smoothing down your skirt.

“Well this is my spot” he rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to hear your stupid humming or see that ridiculous frilly dress you were in. Something about it pissed him off, he couldn’t place it exactly, but whatever it was would put a damper on his getting shitfaced in the woods plan for today. Besides, you had just come from Sunday service, he didn’t need any annoying pestering about drinking or sinning, or whatever he was sure you would pester him about.

Your eyes landed in his bag, before flicking up to him a bit wide. “Are you drinking out here?”

“So what if I am?”

He watches you look around, pressing your lips together for a moment. “Could I try?” His brows raised in surprise. interesting outcome of all of this he supposed? “It’s just, I’ve always wanted to.”

“I know your mom, she’s crazy, you know? Where is she?”

“Still at service, she helps plan the food drive” You smiled a bit proud, “It’s next week.”

Yoongi hummed. She was a nutjob, he’d lost track of how many times she’d harassed him in the past month alone. “So while she’s planning to feed the needy you want to drink?” You nodded and he looked around in disbelief. Was this a joke? Was someone going to jump out and condemn him for even entertaining this?

“Here” he fished out a bottle and held it out to you. He watched you smile, a curious twinkle in your eyes as you carefully set your flowers down and took it. He waited for you to try, there wasn’t anything better to do anyway.

Your sudden shyness poked him the wrong way. He watched you bring it to your lips for a moment before lowering it with a new nervous expression. Second guessing your rebellion? “Come on” he urged, moving to grab your arm and pull you over to him. You stumbled, kicking over your flowers and stepping on them as he dragged you over.

“Hey-” you cringed, the bottle clinking against your teeth as Yoongi held you firm in place and forced the drink into your mouth. “I don’t like it” You managed to get out between the burn of liquor and sputtering as you tried to breathe. You broke away, yoongi dumping the rest of the bottle onto you; dripping it down your hair and face, and soaking your pink cardigan. “Why would you do that?” Your voice wobbled, and your eyes were wet as you looked at him.

“You said you wanted to try, stop being a baby about it.” He rolled his eyes. He watched the heat of embarrassment color your cheeks, big wet streaks stained your face and your hair clumped wet against your skin. “Get out of here now and don’t come back.”

He watches you grab your things and scurry away, and in the distance, he can hear your mother scolding you from the parking lot.

“Why does everyone hate Yoongi?”

The already tense air between you and your mother grew thicker on the ride home. She was angry over the smashed flowers you brought her for her centerpieces and even angrier over your now damp and smelly clothing. The fact that you had come running back to the car in tears, crying like a child over Yoongi.

“Isn’t what he did to you answer enough sweetheart?” She sighed, “He’s never been right, even when he was your age.” She cringed, “Ever since his parents left he’s gotten worse. He’s a creep honey, stay away from him.”

“His parents left him?” You perked up slightly, basically ignoring everything else she said. “Why would they do that? That’s so sad.”

“If he was my child I’d leave him too” She scoffed, “don’t feel sorry for him, he’s everything I’ve ever warned you about. You don’t want to get tied up in all that mess right?” She asked. You didn’t answer.

The second time you ran into Yoongi was in the same stretch of woods. You had nervously ventured out there a few weeks after the last time, unsure if you wanted to run into him or not. Your mother was right about him being scary. You’d never interacted with anyone so harsh before, everyone your mother kept in your circle was kind and caring, just as you were. All women, no men really got close thanks to her. Other than being intrigued about being around him and all the things he did that everyone had drilled into your head were wrong; you felt a bit bad for the older man. You couldn’t imagine being all alone like he was or listening to all the awful things people said about him. He couldn’t be as evil as people wanted you to think, right?

Maybe he just needed a friend?

When he saw you again he smiled in welcoming. After spending a few weeks mulling over what happened and being publicly shouted at for ‘harassing her poor child’, Yoongi had decided he wanted to get closer to you. What better way to stick it to your mom than to mess around with you some more? You were naive enough not to catch on, so what was the harm?

You just talked for a few hours with him. He listened more than opened up. He listened to you talk about what you liked to do, where to find all the best flowers around here, about how you were nervous about the little recital the church was having next month for the Holidays, and how they wanted you to sing in it.

He watched you fiddle with the robbins decorating your hair. Watched you kick your legs back and forth off the rocks you were perched on beside him. Watched how your skirt scrunched and rode up just slightly every time you moved.

He went home that night feeling a bit odd over the experience. You seemed genuinely glad to have someone new to talk to. He wasn’t sure how he felt, because you looked so cute sitting next to him chatting his ear off.

He was fucked to put it lightly. You were everything he hated about the people in this town. Stupid and blindly following the herd…but with more of an innocence. All Yoongi knew was that he was down bad and frankly, a little pissed about it. How many whores had he had in the past and how many could he go out and find at this moment? Too many, maybe they were getting boring to him because right now all he could think about was you. He wanted to poke fun at and just piss everyone off at first, but now…now he just wanted corrupt you. Odd, he’d never felt the want to do it before to anyone, but something about you was sticking to him. How could he not with how cute and innocent you acted around him? Your fault really...hadn't your mother already warned you about men like him? He wanted to take you until the innocent air surrounding you was gone until all you could think about is him and how good he fucked your little virgin cunt. How cute you’d be under him. Covering your breasts and trying to hide away from his hungry eyes. Your cute little moans, moans you’d likely never made before. The feeling of you stretching around him for the first time. A little too much to handle, but you’re eager to please him. How wet you’d be, how it’d be such a challenge to bottom out, and how you’d squirm and try to resist the urge to be run over the edge as his hips pressed into yours. Your thighs twitch and try to close, too overwhelmed by the new sensations happening in your body. He’d leave you ruined; never to be the same again.

Yoongi blinked himself out of thought, he was sitting outside of his house having zoned out thinking about it all.

Well, change of plans he supposed?

Two weeks later snow began to fall and hanging out with you had become routine. Admittedly, it wasn’t that bad. Other than an insatiable want to get you in his bed, he couldn’t say he hated every moment spent hanging around you. It was refreshing not to be by himself all day, he hadn’t had a real friend since early high school, and every day since had pretty much been spent alone. Stuck with a family that refused to speak to him until he admitted his sin and went back to church to grovel for forgiveness; he’d never do that even now. To his surprise you hardly talked about your family or religion; he had part expected you to try and drill it all into him. But you were pretty quiet and liked to laugh at all the ‘silly’ things he did as you liked to put it. You thought the way he slurred words when he was drunk was cute, but wouldn’t touch a drink from him after what happened, not unless he sweet-talked you enough. Sometimes it felt like he could sweet talk you into doing anything he wanted. Sometimes you’d let him put a shot glass to your lips and pour it down, wincing at the burn and getting watery-eyed. Yoongi wasn’t interested in bringing you anything gentle, he liked the hard stuff that could send him over the edge with a few drinks.

“Yoongi?” You asked one night. He was sitting beside you on the park bench, wrapped up in a plethora of jackets and hoodies trying to fight against the bitter air. Obviously, he couldn’t go to your place, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted you hanging around his yet. Truth be told he wasn’t sure if he could contain himself seeing you sitting in his bed just talking with that sweet tone of yours. Your eyes looking up at him, wide and fully focused on what he was doing or saying. You’d be wearing one of those silly frilled dresses you liked; he was sure of it. He’d thought about it so many times. How you’d let him get close and run a hand over your thigh, then over your stomach, to your chest. You’d let him kiss you, he knew you would. You liked doing what he said. You were so curious to partake in all the things he liked to do; all the things you weren’t supposed to do. One night he passed you a blunt without thinking much of it, you took it but nearly choked trying to smoke it for the first time. So you settled on letting him blow smoke in your face because he wanted to and you kept lying that you liked the smell of it.

“Yoongi?” You repeated, pulling him out of his daydream. He hummed, “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Go for it.” He’d lie if he didn’t want to answer, he lied to you a lot and you never seemed to pick up on it.

“Have you been in love before?”

“No.” He looked over at you again. You were playing with your hands in your lap, your nose was red from the cold and your hair was covered in snowflakes. He was still damp from earlier when you made him do a snow angel alongside you. “Why?”

“I don’t know “your face flushed, “I just wish I knew what it felt like. I’ve never been able to have a boyfriend” you explained, “Mom said I have to wait longer, I think she wants to find someone for me.”

“Well, that’s what good girls are supposed to do, right?” He asked, rolling his head back to look at the street light above and watching the snow flurries cluster around it.

You were quiet for a moment, “I guess. I don’t know I’ve just been thinking alot lately, questioning some things.”

Yoongi nodded, he could remember when he started to as well. Hearing how everything in your circle talked about Yoongi didn’t sit right. Everyone should love everyone and get along, that is what you had thought everyone preached around you your whole life. Now they spoke about him like trash, ever since he poured the liquor on you. You hardly even cared much after the fact. It had been thrilling in your otherwise mundane life. Everyone thought you were staying clear of him, but you liked hanging out with him. Every evening when your mother left for work you ran to him. And every Sunday morning people still talked about what happened. How Yoongi shouldn’t be allowed to stay around here, how he was nasty and unholy, and how he'd do horrible things to you if you got close again.

“You want a boyfriend?”

“My mom would kill me if she knew I did.”

Yoongi wet his lips and tugged your jacket until you looked at him. You were pouting, eyes cast down as you thought about it. “Well,” he started waiting for you to look up at him with your little doe eyes met his. “I could be your boyfriend” it rolled off his tongue, music to your ears. “No one will know, we’ll do all the things girlfriends and boyfriends do.” He waited for your reply, “unless you don’t like me?” He couldn’t remember the last time he spoke in such a tone: a soft and nearly whiny one.

“No, I do!” You blurted out. “I want you to be my boyfriend, please Yoongi?”

He could listen to you say please all night.

“You’re not scared about breaking your mom's rules?” He egged in, “Not very good of you to lie.”

You scooted closer to him, grabbing his hand and pouting. “I-I don’t care about lying to her. Really! I’ve always wanted a boyfriend and I really like you, so why not?”

“Okay” he grinned, “I’ll be your boyfriend baby.” You grinned, genuinely excited. “We should make it official though, give me a kiss?”

You picked at the edges of your sleeves, “Y-yeah…but I’ve never…done that.”

Good, he thought. He wanted to be your first anything and everything. To teach you how to be a good girlfriend for him. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you. Just follow my lead.”

He grabbed your face, encouraging you to get even closer. Your legs pressed against his and he held your waist tight. He could see the shine of your strawberry lip gloss and the pink ribbon in your hair tickled his hand as he held your cheek. You were enthralled, gazing into his eyes like hearts were exploding behind you. He kissed you, trying to start slow and keep the cute boyfriend appearance up, but he was ready to get heated and messy with you. He did- kissed you harder, nibbled your lip, and pressed his tongue into your mouth. You were so meek under him, trying your best to keep up.

Your lipgloss was smeared- most of it left on Yoongi. You made it just-in-time before your mother got home. You scurried upstairs to change and pretend you’ve been in bed all night. You still felt breathless over the kisses. How he held you and how he asked you to be his girlfriend. You didn’t know how it was supposed to go, but you were sure he did it well. He had to. You hurried yourself under the covers.

You had a boyfriend!

You kissed him!!

You smiled thinking about his hands holding you- how big they felt against your waist and his sting against your cheek. His lips were chapped and a bit cold against yours. He said he liked your lipgloss- the one you begged your mom to let you get just so you could wear it for him.

“You’ve never touched yourself before?” You weren’t sure how the topic had been brought up, but Yoongi had just become far more interested in your video call after you let your secret slip out. You’d been lying around in bed talking to him for the past few hours. He was at home while you were stuck in bed for the night. Your mom was sick and hadn’t gone to work in a few days. You’d been missing Yoongi so he promised to call you.

“No…we’re not supposed to…my mom always tells me I shouldn’t it’s not pure and good.” You explained. Yoongi rolled his eyes, what a fanatic.

“I used to think that, my family taught me the same things.” He started, “But I don’t agree. It’s normal, we’re all a little dirty sometimes, right bunny?”

You flushed, you liked it when he called you that.

“I miss you, I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day. I wanna teach you more though, do you want to learn more next time?”

You nodded, slowly as you thought about his words. “You like when I kiss you?”

“Yeah,” you giggled. “Of course I do!”

Yoongi hummed, looking over the nightgown you were wearing. He liked kissing you well enough but he was starting to crave more. It’d been a while since he’d had sex, fantasizing about you while getting off was getting boring. He looked over your crossed legs, a bit upset it was long enough to cover your thighs- he liked them. It was, however, just snug enough to give him a subtle outline of your breasts, your nipples a bit hard grazing the fabric if you moved the right way. “Why’d you stop talking?” You pouted.

“You like my voice?”

You nodded, “I really like it.”

“Wanna hear me call you pretty some more? How vain of you bunny. That’s a sin” he snickered, “does my voice turn you on?”

“I think so” You grew quieter, taking one headphone out and setting it aside to listen for your mother.

“Is she still sleeping?”

“I think so.”

“You wanna do something for me, baby?” You nodded eagerly. “Touch yourself for me.” His tone was almost demanding, and needy as he shifted in his seat.

“But I’ve never…I’m not sure.”

“Come on, try it for me?” Yoongi asked and very slowly you got off of your bed, leaving your phone propped against some pillows as instructed. Yoongi smirked, watching you look around your bedroom and to the door, double-checking the lock and listening for your mother. He was already feeling warm, mouth a bit dry as he looked you up and down. He couldn't help but to slip down his pants and tug at his cock in anticipation. The fact that you were so nervous, anxious that you’d get caught and reprimanded…that cute little nightgown you were wearing. “Just lift your nightgown” he wet his lips, watching you pick at the thin fabric and shyly lift it for him. “That’s it just a little, there you go” he encouraged, eyes glued to your panties. “Not so bad, right?” He smiled, and you let out a nervous, breathy giggle. “Turn around now” he watches you do as told, he hummed “bend over.” He watches you check your door again, a bit hesitant. “Don’t disappoint me now…good girl. Just…” Yoongi ogled over your ass, how the soft white fabric of your panties stretched over it, and how your legs pressed together now and again. “Just touch yourself for me” he finished. You did it for him, snaking a hand between your legs and clumsily playing with yourself.

“Feels good?” He laughed at the little moans you let out now and again. “Don’t get shy, you’re so cute. Just show off for me baby.”

“You said you wanted to see it” Yoongi bit back a laugh.

“I know, but…not here.” Your nose scrunched as you took another weary look around the alleyway. “Someone will see.”

“That’s what makes it fun” He grinned. He was feeling himself a little too much after a few drinks in his favorite bar. They wouldn’t ID him, and he knew they wouldn’t ID you. It was across town, too much of a trek for anyone who knew who you were to see. He’d gone through a few beers and some shots with you following him. You didn’t like the beer and refused a second shot, so he rolled his eyes and got you something smoother, fruitier. You were more content sipping on it, kicking your legs off the stool, and begging him to come to see you in the Holiday service on Sunday.

“You want me to come Sunday or not?”

“That’s not fair” you whined. Yoongi shrugged, leaning against the brick wall with his hips jutted out slightly. “Get on your knees for me bunny.” He watched you sink down, complaining when the slosh of rain and snow stained your stockings. “I’ll by you new ones” He assured, watching your brow knit ever so slightly as you fiddled with his belt; loosening it and going for his jeans button. He could feel his throat getting dry, ever since that little show he talked you through a few days ago he had been plagued with thoughts of you nonstop. You pulled his jeans down a bit, looking up at him for reassurance before shyly going for the boxers. He was already hard, it didn't take much from you nowadays. His fingers twitched, he wanted ot grab your hair and go to town, but he tried to take in your wide eyes, cautious little touches, and overall curiosity of it all.

“I don’t know if I should be doing this” Your voice was small, torn as you looked up at him again with a frown. “It feels wrong, I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, it's normal. Lots of girls do it, don’t you want to make me feel good? I made you feel good the other night, it’s only fair.”

"I know you better than you think baby. I know those dirty little sides of you no one else does. You keep saying this is wrong and you shouldn't be doing it…but you’ve been saying for days how you want to please me. Now it’s time. Want me to help you?” He murmured. You nodded, a mix of excitement and nervousness in your stomach as you looked around one last time. He snaked a hand through your hair and guided you closer. His tip grazed your lips, pouty and slick from your lipgloss. Egairly you opened your mouth for him, trying to breathe through the new feeling and anxiety of having him in your mouth for the first time.

Yoongi on the other hand felt like he could melt then and there. The feeling of your hot mouth against him sent tingles down his spine. “Just suck on it a little, grab the rest with your hand, and stroke it for me, baby.” your hand felt so small and cold against him, it made him shiver. He tugged your head a bit, he couldn’t help it. Your inexperience was too much for him. He loved the clumsiness, the little noise you made as you choked on him, how drool dripped down your chin and stained your blouse. “I know you can take it bunny, tell me if you can’t- fuck” he hissed, “you’re so good for me.”

He came in your mouth- he hadn't planned to but hadn’t been able to help it the moment you peered back up to him. Your face flushed, your eyes wide and teary, still looking at him in adoration. You pulled back, saying something about not liking the taste and wincing when more landed on your face. Yoongi was too immersed in trying to calm down to make some witty remark, he just took a moment to steady his breathing and look down at you. “Sorry,” he was quick to get his pants back up and get down to your level to help clean up. He sighed, watching you pick at your ruined stockings and skirt, “We’ll go to the mall tomorrow, and I’ll try to come to see you Sunday.”

He tried to seem indifferent to the way your face lit up, lunging to hug him. He smiled and took you home.

After taking you to the mall and replacing your clothes, Yoongi felt needier than usual for you. He was ready to take up, ready to steal that innocence away.

“Stop pretending you don’t want to” Yoongi laughed. “Do you like it?” Yoongi grinned. You squirmed in his lap. He could tell you were trying not to like it, your brow scrunched slightly. When he grabbed your face and made you look at him he could see the concern clouded with lust in your eyes. “I know you like it, stop lying to yourself” He had taken you home for the first time, wasting little time before pulling you to the bedroom for a makeout.

“I do” you whimper, “but…I’m not supposed to do stuff like this” You frowned, “Not until I get married and-”

“We’re not having sex though, we’re just playing a little, right?” He asked, grabbing your hips tighter, pressing his bulge against you. Your skirt rode up more, your knees pressed into the sofa as he guided you to grind against him. You were starting to get a little bold when you were with him, it was hard not to when he was constantly grabbing at you and saying all the right things to get you worked up. He was ready to take this to the next level- ready to fuck you.

“Come on, fuck yourself against me, baby, you’re already soaked and I’ve barely touched you.” He slipped back into his mindset fast. Your hips moved with his, he could feel the wet spot staining his jeans as you moaned and squeaked in surprise every time he pulled you hard against him. “Want me to fuck you? Seems like it, want me to ruin your insides?” He was into it, into how good your clothed cunt felt against his jeans and hard-on, how red your face was getting and the little beads of nervous sweat forming on your forehead. How your fingers clasped his shirt and nails pinched his skin, how into you seemed to be getting.

“I shouldn’t, but it feels so good” You cried, while Yoongi nearly came at your breathly little whines.

“it's okay to be dirty like this, it makes you feel good, right? makes you want to cum like a good girl for me?” Yoongi went on, “Or we can stop, you can just pretend we didn’t do anything and go home, is that what you want?” “No” you cried, “It feels good. I wanna cum.” You shyly spoke, quickening your pace as he rutted against you.

“You gonna let me fuck you now?” He had been half serious when he said it, still content with sucking on and leaving hickeys on your shoulder. When you say yes? He felt like his brain short-circuited, he had you on your back in an instant; staring down at you like a hungry animal. Your shirt was unbuttoned, chest flushed and marked up from the groping. You were looking at him through lidded eyes, your legs still pressed together in anticipation as he moved in.

“Fuck this is so wrong, isn’t it bunny?” Yoongi let out a shaky exhale, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long, god you feel so good.” You were flushed under him, biting back moans and trying to take the pain of the first stretch like a good girl, like you knew he wanted you to. “I’m trying to go slow baby, but fuck…You’ll forgive me if I can’t, right?” He leaned closer to you, peppering kisses over your neck and sucking dark marks on your skin. “Please forgive me, baby, I’m gonna ruin you.” He murmured. He knew you’d never hate him, he knew you’d forgive him for anything he did to you.

taglist: @aft3rhrs

#yandere bts #yandere min yoongi #yoongi smut #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader

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xzaddyzanakinx · 7 months ago

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part Ten: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, oral, dick piercing, spit, back shots, GEN. SMUT[Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin is so annoyed with his mother. He discovers something and Ghost has plans for it. [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: August 16th

I thought for sure you’d kick me to the curb. But just like always, you never fail to amaze me. You like the side of me that no one else does, you like both of me, that’s a miracle if I’ve ever seen one.

I don’t even like both of me.

You chose me, for whatever reasons you might have, pure curiosity or genuine care and interest… I don’t really care. All I care about is that you chose me. You want me. Me. All of me.

You’re choosing both of me. Separately. But soon you’ll love both sides of me, you’ll love me as a whole. That’s something no one has ever given to me. No one has ever wholly loved me, partially because I’ve never shown anyone all of me, partially because I used to fail miserably at balancing the black and white of my being.

Anakin the perfect boyfriend and future husband deserves your daylight love. Ghost the purposely imperfect and probably less than sane guy deserves your midnight curiosities.

I like this. Separating myself this way, it’s more manageable. I’ve tried for years and years to just be Anakin who is always pretending to be the man of the year, but is still just a tad too… off putting.

To everyone back home, I’ll always be the strange guy who only had two friends, himself and the neighbor kid who was only such good friends with him because they grew up in close proximity.

Anakin, the weird kid who didn’t know how to smile properly.

Anakin, the creep who stared too much, not at anything inappropriate. I wasn’t leering at women or anything, it’s just creepy for people to be looked at by someone who has ‘dead eyes’ and ‘doesn’t blink enough’.

Anakin, the ‘well he’s trying’ boy. The poor little guy who brought Brianna a handful of nettles on the playground, tied together with worms. ‘He meant well! He’s trying to be nice sweetie.’

Anakin, the ‘turn out your pockets before you come inside’ kid. You come home with a dead squirrel in your hoodie pocket once and your mother will never trust you not to have another stashed somewhere.

‘hey, it’s not that I don’t think you’re great! I do! You’re just not… great for me.’

‘please don’t look at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable’

‘Get away from my yard, I know what you’re doing!’

‘Who’s cat is that? Anakin! Where did you get this?’

‘Ani, you can’t keep doing this. I can’t protect you forever!’

‘Don’t you want to have friends? A girlfriend? To grow up and have a family? Don’t you want that?’

I was always Anakin-weird as hell, psycho, town freak-Skywalker.

In your daylight love I can be Anakin-nice guy, perfect smile, warm hugs-Skywalker.

I can shove everything else into The Pit until I’m ready to put on that Ghostface mask and take off my mask of normalcy. Weird isn’t it? Putting on a mask just to take off another one?

I like it though. I really like it.

I can be normal for you. I can. I can be normal. As long as Ghost can be let out of The Pit sometimes. No more balancing on the edge for Anakin. No more hiding and pretending and suffocating myself with the act of being a person.

If I can flood Anakin with all the things I’ve learned over the years, all the knowledge I’ve stored away in my mind’s filing cabinets… then you can have the man you deserve.

You’ll just have to come to terms with the fact that once Ghost makes his appearance, your Anakin is gone until further notice.

I think you’ll do well with that. You’re already handling it swimmingly.

Diary Entry: August 17th

You left me a note of your own this morning, a question I wasn’t expecting in the slightest. When I walked into the kitchen and finally cracked open the diary you’d left laying there for me I was shocked. Absolutely and completely shocked.

‘When are you coming home?’

You’re asking Ghost to visit you? For real? I don’t even know how to react, I never thought you’d be the one requesting the company of my masked presence. I guess giving you an option, proving your feelings and your well-being mattered most to me was the right move.

Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do. I’ll have to plan. I need to think.

I have to be so much more careful now.

Date

August 18th

This is the first time Ghost hasn’t responded when you’ve contacted him. It’s been three days of nothing. He’s not been inside your house at all, no gifts, nothing has been moved, your cat’s bowl is empty when you get home.

His absence is more unsettling that his presence.

You’re beginning to wonder if you’ve angered him by asking about his next visit, was that the wrong thing to do? Did it freak him out? Asking about his plans… did it make him uncomfortable? Or is he tired of the chase now? Now that you’re interested… is it possible he’s lost the adrenaline rush of it all and he won’t be back at all?

There’s no time to ponder or worry right now, yet here you are staring into the foggy mirror in your bathroom post-shower.

“Hey sweetheart?” Anakin’s cheery voice floated to you from under the door.

“In here!” You called out, opening the door up and wiping off the mirror, grateful to have been pulled out of your mind.

“Want help picking something out?” He asked, wrapping his arms around your middle, pressing his nose to the crown of your head to smell your freshly washed hair.

“Mmm yeah if you want.” You nodded, smiling at him in the mirror.

“You excited?” He grinned, poking your sides to hear you giggle.

“Yeah… a little bit nervous though to be honest.” You confessed.

“What? Why? They’ll like you, I have no doubts.” He said with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulders.

“I know, it’s just… what if they don’t?” You asked nervously, looking away from his intense gaze in the mirror.

“They will.” He whispered kissing your temple.

“But what if they don’t?”

“They will, but, if for some reason they don’t then they’re stupid.” He shrugged his shoulders. “But I know they will okay?”

“But Ani I’m worr-“

“Hey.” He said sharply, catching the words before they could leave your lips. “That’s enough.” He said in a softer tone.

He sighed, grabbing the hair brush from the sink countertop. He started brushing through your wet tangles, starting at the ends and working his way up.

“You’re important to me. They know that.” Anakin whispered, kissing your shoulder. “They know you’re something special, trust me. I’ve never brought anyone to meet them before.”

“Seriously?” You whipped your head around with a horrified expression on your face.

“Yeah seriously.” He nodded. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone else.” He gently directed your head back to face the mirror so he could continue brushing your hair.

“That makes it even worse!” You squeaked, slumping over against the sink, your arms crossed on the cold Formica top with your forehead rested on them.

“Why?” He asked as he sat the brush aside and placed his hand on your back, rubbing up and down the soft fabric of the towel around you.

“I’m the first girl you’re bringing home!” You said exasperatedly, “they’re gonna be expecting someone like… like super great and amazing.”

“You are super great and amazing.” He laughed, squeezing your hip and patting it gently.

“But-“

“Baby stop.” He said softly. “You’re gonna work yourself up all over nothin’. Please, just trust me okay? They’re gonna think you’re perfect.”

“Okay.” You sighed, standing back up and turning around to hug him tightly. “Alright. Let’s get ready then.”

“I’m ready.” He said gesturing to his tight grey crewneck and ripped black jeans. “All fancy and shit.”

“I wouldn’t say fancy, but I would say hot.” You grinned.

“Stop.” He chuckled, “should I go change? I can’t have you drooling over me at the dinner table with my parents.”

“No, no don’t change.” You shook your head with a giggle. “I can wait.”

“You can wait?” He gave you a devilishly toothy smile. “Wait for what darlin’? Does baby need some attention?”

He picked you up and sat you on the sink counter, giving your ass a firm squeeze. Immediately bringing one hand to your cheek, his thumb on your chin, he tilted your head to the side and hovered his lips just over your skin. Barely grazing the softness of his lips up the length of your neck to the dip beneath your ear. His free hand rubbing up and down your side, as he finally pressed a hot, open mouthed kiss to your sensitive flesh.

“My girl only waits when I say so.” He whispered, nipping your earlobe.

He nuzzled into your neck, bringing your ass to the edge of the sink with one arm, using the same hand to slip beneath your towel and travel up your abdomen. The towel fell from where it was tightly tucked at your chest, Anakin’s hand cupping your breast gently as he thumbed at your nipple.

His lips soldered to yours in a passionate caress of lips and tongues, you could taste the minty flavor of the gum he constantly chewed, the forever lingering ghost of cigarettes and the delicious savory flavor that was uniquely him.

He was so good at distracting you with his mouth on yours that he could get away with just about anything and you’d never know until it was too late. Just like now, when you heard his belt buckle clank against the bathroom tiles. You couldn’t help but smile, it was something so simple, but it was one of your favorite things.

The sound will forever be associated with every kiss, every touch, every gasp and breath he’d given you and every intimate moment to come. The jangle of his belt buckle coming loose meant falling apart in his arms, it meant love without saying it aloud.

Anakin snickered as he teased your opening with one finger, swirling it around the outside, never fully dipping inside.

“Greedy little pussy.” His deep bedroom voice never failed to conjure up a gush of slick to your already drenched cunt. “So fucking wet already.”

“Mhm.” You nodded, wiggling your hips closer to his hand or at least you tried to, Anakin held you firmly in place, tsking at your attempt.

“See? Greedy.” He chuckled but gave in anyway, finally pushing in one digit to twirl around your gummy walls while he pumped in and out slowly.

“Can’t help it.” You panted, breathing heavily despite the relief of getting what you wanted, you needed more. “Missed you Ani.”

“Oh poor thing, I missed you too.” He cooed, adding a second finger while he rolled his wrist as he thrusted his fingers deeper.

Just as you were about to speak again, the shrill sound of your phone alarm blared next to you on the counter top, making you both jump.

“Jesus! what the fuck.” He snorted, “pause baby.” He said as he reached over to turn it off and check the time.

“I’m so glad you set shit like that or else we’d never get anywhere on time.” He said with a smile. “Now, hop down and let me bend you over.”

“What we’re doing a quickie?” You teased as you did as requested, sliding off the sink and obediently bending at the waist for him.

“As much as I hate it, yes.” He sighed. “You know I like to take my time.”

He said as he rubbed his rough palm over the swell of your ass, tugging his boxers down with his other hand. He shoved his palm under your chin and tapped your cheek.

“Spit.” His voice was rough and gritty, like he he was straining, fighting not to ram himself into you right that very second.

You spit into his hand, earning a mumbled: “Atta girl.”

He slicked his cock with your saliva, stroking himself quickly with the head of his cock pressed to your entrance, pleasuring himself but just torturing you with the heat of his length.

“Ani!” You whined, pushing your hips back against him.

You’d done exactly what he wanted. The second you pushed back he rammed his cock deep inside your pulsing heat. He set a brutal pace, wrapping one arm around your chest. Your hands instinctively flew up to hold onto his muscled forearm, his grip tightened and you gasped in surprise.

“Christ Anakin.” You breathed out, your eyes wide with shock at this sudden change of pace.

He was a slow and sensual lover, he liked to take his sweet time and caress every curve and kiss every centimeter of flesh that he could reach. But this was completely different, this was pure hunger, hips snapping against your ass at a punishing pace.

His other arm came down your stomach and spread your pussy lips apart to press and pinch the little hard nub that would have you shaking beneath him.

The way he was breathing so heavily in your ear, the hot air fanning over your cheek, it only heightened the feeling. Sending goosebumps down your skin and perking up your nipples again. The sound of your wetness was loud enough to hear with each and every plunge of his cock.

“You like it like this baby?” He chuckled, “sounds like you like it.”

“Uh huh.” You nodded rapidly, gripping his arm tightly as a particularly sharp streak of lightning shot through you.

Your pussy clenched down around his cock and you closed your eyes to concentrate on the feeling the metal jewelry at the tip of his cock gave you as it stroked your insides roughly.

“Making such pretty noises,” he moaned, tilting your head back and to the side using your hair, to properly reach your mouth so he could ravage you with his tongue just as he was with his dick.

“C’mon baby, let me hear it.” He panted, sucking your lip between his teeth.

“That’s it, yeah there’s my girl.” He laughed, watching your eyes roll back until just the whites were visible. Your eyes fluttered shut as your cunt pulsed around him.

“Fuck… Fuck that’s- right there… please?” You whined, trapping his hand right where it was with your fingers digging into his wrist.

“Good manners.” He praised, licking along the length of your jaw. “Good manners baby, so proud.”

“Just like this huh?” He questioned teasingly, a smirk on his lips caught your attention in the foggy mirror. “You like the piercing don’t you baby? Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Fuck yeah.” You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut tight while you waited for him to push you over the edge. “L-love it. Don’t ever fucking take it out again.”

“Sure thing baby.” He snickered. “You ready sweetheart? Getting close aren’t you?”

“You can cum.” He said as you nodded, his forehead now resting on your shoulder as he drilled into you, rolling your clit between his finger and thumb.

The coil that had been wound tightly in your core snapped with his permission, a high pitched groan eeked out from between your gritted teeth, your cunt leaking down his shaft as he fucked you through the high.

“Lean down.” He said as he pulled out abruptly, leaving you gaping and gasping for breath.

“Perfect.” He groaned, one hand on your waist as you pressed your torso against the sink counter.

He stroked his cock wildly, his fingers digging into the plush of your waist, squeezing soothingly when his chin dropped to his chest and he stiffened up, holding his breath. All you could hear was the sound of his slick hand pumping his swollen length over your ass.

Until finally you felt the warm spurts of cum splatter on your skin, the viscous fluid dribbling down your lower spine until it slid over your ass hole.

“Fuck, that looks so damn pretty.” He breathed heavily, standing back to take in his art work.

“I should take a picture.” He whispered, kneeling behind you with a hand under each ass cheek, he licked up his own cum with a satisfied hum.

——————————————————————————

Approximately an hour after Anakin defiled you in the steamy confines of your bathroom, you were walking hand in hand into one of the nicer restaurants on the outer circle of the city. Meeting his mother terrified you, his stepfather not so much. Anakin didn’t grow up with him, he wasn’t a staple of his childhood.

But his mother was. She was a single parent, worked so incredibly hard to provide for herself and her son. She made sure he had everything he needed and then some, she was truly a saint.

“Chill out.” Anakin whispered, squeezing your hand gently. “You’re okay.”

You nodded and silently let Anakin pull you along behind the host who was leading you to the table where his mother and stepdad waited for you both.

You laid eyes on his mother first and the smile that spread across your lips was genuine. As soon as you saw her your worries started to slip into the backseat of your mind. She exuded a calming atmosphere, she seemed so serene and unbothered. What you’d give to live life like that.

You could see where Anakin got his comforting nature from, especially as she stood up and extended her hand to you. The gentle smile and warmth in the crinkle of her eyes was enough to melt your heart.

“I’m Shmi.” She introduced herself in a soft tone, looking to her side where her husband sat. “This is Cliegg, Anakin’s stepfather.” He gave you a nod and warm smile after clapping Anakin on the back in an awkward side hug.

“It’s great to meet you guys!” You chirped, introducing yourself quickly.

“You too sweetie.” Shmi smiled, moving to envelope her son in a hug.

“Hey momma.” Anakin chuckled, squishing her shorter frame in a big bear hug. “Miss ya.”

“Missed you too hon.” She said quietly, patting his chest before returning to her seat.

She gave Anakin a little smile of approval when he pulled your chair out for you to slide into, you wanted to gush about how grateful you were that she’d raised him to be such a gentleman but you got the feeling that she already knew.

The four of you engaged in a bit of small talk while looking over the menu options, you refrained from even picking up the menu, getting an odd look from Cliegg who just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘suit yourself’. The waiter returned with ice water for everyone and a bottle of wine for the table, getting ready to take orders with their pad and pen at the ready.

After Anakin’s mother and her husband ordered, Shmi looked at you expectantly but you just gave her a small smile as Anakin ordered for the both of you.

“Anakin.” She chided him after the waiter left. “She’s perfectly capable of speaking for herself.”

“I know she is.” He said firmly. “But she shouldn’t have to when I’m perfectly capable of doing it for her.”

“Shmi it’s okay really.” You laughed light, knocking Anakin’s foot with your own as a warning. “I prefer it honestly. I think it’s sweet.”

She gave you an odd look, her face was soft just as it had been the whole night so far, but her eyes conveyed something that you couldn’t quite place.

“Alright sweetie.” She conceded and nodded, the look passing over her eyes just as quickly as it appeared.

Anakin’s arm slid around your waist momentarily to offer some comfort, gently squeezing your hip and tapping his thumb rhythmically while he jumped straight back into the conversation he was having with his stepdad.

“So, Anakin’s told me quite a bit about you.” Shmi said warmly. “He said you’re a waitress and you’re taking classes at the college?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” You nodded happily. “The Bluebird Diner, it’s a real great place. Anakin’s a big fan of the butterscotch pie.” You smiled.

“The college… yes I’m taking classes. They’re all going well but I’m not set on a major yet and it’s getting to be the time that I decide.” You sucked in an anxious breath, giving her a nervous look.

“Well that’s perfectly fine.” She said, surprising you with her acceptance of your unplanned career. “I dropped out after my freshman year and didn’t complete my degree until Anakin was in highschool.” She explained.

“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow, glancing at Anakin’s side profile while he spoke to his stepfather. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“Why I dropped out?” She asked, leaning back in her chair. “Well it was for a few reasons. Mostly because it’s difficult to work, educate yourself and raise a child alone.”

“I can imagine it would be.” You agreed with a humored smile, expecting to be met with a similar expression by Shmi.

Though you weren’t, instead she had a strange sort of reminiscent look about her. Not the fuzzy feeling of nostalgic reminiscing, more of a moment of remembering something unpleasant.

“Yes.” She nodded, “Anakin didn’t make it any easier.”

“Oh…” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at her sudden shift in demeanor.

It seems she noticed your body language change and she quickly corrected herself by breaking out into a smile, sitting back up straighter in her seat.

“But what kid doesn’t?” She laughed lightly, reaching out to pat your hand affectionately.

“Right,” you nodded, chalking up her strange switch up as a mother remembering her rowdy son. It must be hard, seeing him grown up and finally bringing a girl to meet her.

“So how did you two meet?” Shmi asked, turning in her seat to face you fully, giving you her full attention. “Anakin said you’re neighbors?”

“Yeah! Yeah that’s how we met officially.” You nodded.

“Officially?”

“Well we found out after we’d talked a few times that we actually met at the bar he works at.” You explained, “he made a drink for me. I thought he looked like… semi-familiar, you know it’s hard to miss the tattoos.” You smiled.

“Oh that’s very true.” Shmi laughed. “Definitely stands out.”

“Yeah, so we officially met the day he was moving in across the hall from me.”

“Oh you’re telling her about move in day?” Anakin cut in with a big grin on his face.

“Mhm.” You nodded happily, gazing at him with a hint of adoration in your eyes. “Anakin had his stuff strewn out in the hallway and I knocked over a stack of his books.” You laughed and he squeezed your shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, then we chatted for a bit and she noticed a book of mine that she’d lost her copy of, so I gave it to her. That’s how I snatched her up.” He said proudly, gesturing to you with both hands like he was presenting a trophy.

“Huh, who knew you had a little romantic streak?” Cliegg laughed.

“Oh he definitely does!” You agreed eagerly.

“Well Anakin I have to say: I’m extremely impressed you’ve found such a lovely girl.” Shmi said softly, glancing at you with those warm eyes.

“Took you long enough.” His stepdad smacked his upper arm with the back of his hand with a deep laugh.

“Hey, I was holding out for the right one.” Anakin said with a satisfied smile. “I wanted my forever girl and I found her.”

——————————————————————————

The rest of the night went smoothly, no hiccups, no awkward moments, nothing you’d worried about came to fruition. His mother was as sweet as could be and her husband definitely suited her well. All in all, you were happy to have had the opportunity to get to know them. You were proud to be the first girl worthy of meeting them and you were thrilled that they seemed to like you as much as you liked them.

“See? Told you.” Anakin whispered, walking beside you out of the restaurant.

“You were right.” You sighed. “Nothing to worry about.”

“I was what?” He fake gasped, one hand coming up to cover his mouth dramatically.

“You heard me and I’m not repeating it.” You giggled, bumping him with your shoulder.

“Good enough for me princess, I’ll take it.” He smiled, pulling you close and pressing a chaste kiss to your hair.

You said your goodbyes to Anakin’s parents just outside the entrance, a full, loving hug from Shmi and a ‘you’re great but we’re not there yet’ double hand squeeze on one of yours from his stepdad.

You’d just started walk to the car when Shmi called out to Anakin, causing you both to swivel around.

“Ani, sweetheart can you come talk for just a second?” She asked sweetly.

“Oh… yeah okay.” He nodded, handing you the car keys.

“I’ll go see what’s up baby.” He said with a soft tone, “go ahead to the car.”

You followed instructions and did exactly as he asked, climbing into the passenger seat of his car and starting it so you could listen to the radio while Anakin was gone. You didn’t think much of it, it was probably just a bit of an after dinner debrief.

Anakin jogged over to his mom and leaned against Cliegg’s truck while he climbed in, leaving just Shmi and Anakin to speak alone.

“Ani she’s a wonderful girl.” Shmi said, squeezing his arm gently.

“Yeah she is, she’s perfect isn’t she?” He gushed, his pupils widened at just the thought of you.

“Yes-“

“She’s just… everything. She’s everything to me.” He continued, picking up his mothers hand.

“Just w-“

“I mean I really believe she’s the one mom.” He squeezed her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles in an affectionate way. “Really I do, she’s perfect. I- I’m so glad you guys like her, I knew you would of course but she was just so nervous and-“

“Anakin!” Shmi said sternly, her voice quickly going back to a calm tone after getting his attention.

“Anakin, sweetie, I’m so glad you’ve found your person.” She started slowy, holding eye contact with her son’s intense gaze. “I’m proud of you, you know that don’t you?”

“Yeah of course-“

“I’m proud of you. You’re a good boy honey.” She said quietly, “she’s a sweet girl, she deserves the best.”

“Well yeah she does, of course she does and-“

“Are you being your best?” Shmi asked him, her voice turning hard, alittle sharp. “Swear to me, Anakin. Swear you are?”

“Yes mom.” He sighed as though he were expecting this conversation.

“Are you still taking your medicine? Seeing your doctor?” She asked worriedly.

“Really?” He scoffed. “Please, let’s just drop it. This was a good day, please don’t ruin it by worrying over nothing.”

“Are you though?”

“Yes!” He hissed, clenching his teeth tightly. “Yes I’m still seeing the doctor and taking the stupid pills, yes.”

“Good. Very good.” She breathed a sigh of relief at his compliance.

“Don’t ask me if she knows.” Anakin said sternly. “She doesn’t.”

“You can’t just keep that from her, she has a right to know Anakin!”

“It’s not the right time for that.” He raised his voice slightly. “She doesn’t need to know yet. I’ll tell her on my own terms.”

“But you can’t-“

“I said: I’ll tell her on my own terms.” He breathed deeply, keeping his temper in check. “Please mom, just… just be happy for me okay? I’m doing really good, I’m happy. Please just let me be happy.”

“Alright.” She sighed, nodding slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry sweetie, I shouldn’t have questioned you like that.”

“It’s okay. I know you worry.” He mumbled, pulling her into a hug, his hand rubbing between her shoulder blades.

“I- I just so badly want you to be happy.” She said quietly. “I want you to be safe, happy, and loved. You deserve to be loved.”

“I am loved.” Anakin whispered, his voice rough, “You love me. Cliegg loves me. Owen probably loves me. I think she might love me too.”

“You think so?” She asked in a brighter tone.

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded, pulling back with a soft smile.

Diary Entry: August 18th

I love my mother, but she worries too much. Talking to me like I’m some child to be coddled and babysat. I don’t need her or anyone else to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, especially when it comes to you, my little doe.

I know what’s best for you, for our relationship, and it’s my opinion that you don’t need to burden yourself with my past transgressions. I’m a changed man, what I did as a teenager, as a kid, has no reflection on who I am today.

Telling you about it is out of the question. At least for now… but, it’d probably be for the best to never, ever speak of it. I just don’t see the point in sharing something like that with you when it would cause your pretty little head to worry over something so irrelevant to the present.

Not to mention the stupid fucking doctor. It was ridiculous, asking me such a personal question when she knows very well that it upsets me when she interrogates me like that. It’s none of her business anymore, I’m not a child, I can take care of myself.

If anything, her questioning and distrust makes me want to do it even less just to prove that I can live without it.

I don’t need to see a fucking shrink if I’m taking the pills right? It’s overkill to do both. I don’t need to talk about my feelings, I don’t need to tell a stranger all about my past and the questionable things I’ve done. That’s why I have a journal and I think it suits me just fine.

Just another reason why I love you so much. You’ve helped me by getting me into writing stuff down instead of keeping it bottled up. You’re responsible for the thing that helps keep me from spiraling, you should be so proud of yourself, showing me this A+ coping skill.

It’s way better than: ‘Breathe in… breathe out… focus on your surroundings and count the things you can see and feel.’

Like what the hell is that? What’s that supposed to do? Distract me? Yeah right.

It can’t distract me from what’s going on in my head. Not when it’s so much all at once, all the time. It was exhausting to pretend that something like that was working for me. Journaling is so much better. So much easier.

It’s real and it’s tangible. I can flip through the pages and return to the good things, or I can skip over the bad stuff but take comfort in knowing that I was able to write it down.

So fuck the shrink, I’m not going back. I haven’t been in months and I’m doing perfectly fine.

Diary Entry: August 20th

I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell I’m going to do. I’m grasping at straws here, trying to figure out how to handle the Ghost situation.

I can tell you’re getting annoyed.

How am I supposed to respond? I know it’s been days but I can’t bring myself to answer the texts, the notes, the questions shouted into your otherwise empty home.

Hopefully you’ll understand, though I acknowledge that you have every reason to be upset with me. I’m assuming you’re feeling some sort of betrayal after the letter… I hate that. I really hate it. But it’s unavoidable.

You responded extremely well to my offer and the opportunity for a choice. So I’ll just do that again. That sounds reasonable, I’ll give a bit of an explanation, little apology and then I’ll let you choose what happens next.

This is what happens when I don’t fully plan ahead. I fuck things up and then it’s just a gommed up mess.

Then the whole situation with my mother really threw me off. It just added another layer of ‘what the hell’ to my already high stack of self imposed problems.

I want to do something. I need to do something. I have shit to get off my chest.

Date

August 22nd

Finally, finally Ghost has gotten back in contact with you.

Now that the little grey envelope is sitting on your nightstand… you almost don’t want to open it. After all the silence on his end it’s impossible to guess what he has to say. Though as you’re convincing yourself not to open it, it’s found it’s way into your hand.

LETTER

Little Doe,

My absence was unexpected for you as well as myself, for that I apologize. I would go into detail if I could but unfortunately we both know that I can’t do that.

Let’s just say that my life got a bit complicated and I had to take a moment to iron things out. Now that everything is starched and pressed it’ll be back to business as usual.

While I was gone I took some time to consider your question as well. So I’ll match you with a question of my own.

I’ve been… stressed to say the very least. I don’t like to be destructive, I’m not that kind of guy. So I was wondering if you’d help me out, give me a bit of an alternative rage release?

Don’t lie, I know you’re curious. I know you want me just as badly as I want you. I bet you’re wet just reading this, aren’t you? I think it’s high time for you to be conscious enough to really enjoy everything I’m giving you. Don’t you agree?

I heard you like it rough. Is that true princess? I’ll give you rough, just say the word and I’ll make sure you’ve got marks that’ll last for weeks.

Next half of the question: here or elsewhere?

You sure do love to show off that little body of yours. I wonder if that would translate over into your sex life if you’d let it.

Your choice little doe.

——————————————————————————

‘He did not just ask me that… did he?’

You stared at the letter in your hands, your mind going well over the speed limit on the road to rational thinking. It was tempting, oh so very tempting. He’s right of course, he always is, you are curious. You do want him, maybe even need him.

It’s obvious he’s more than capable of giving you what you needed, what you wanted. The man had you feigning for him for weeks with no relief, all from teasing you, all while you were unaware.

It would be… interesting to see for yourself in the waking world what he’s done to you in dreamland. It’s alright if it’s for research purposes isn’t it? Is it really cheating if you don’t know the person at all, his identity is a complete mystery; that should count for something right?

Just a smidgen of a mitigating factor would be enough to sway you to say yes.

“Hey.” You called out, waving your hand as if he were there with you and you were trying to get his attention. “You listening?”

*Ping* a text came through almost immediately: ‘Always.’

“You’re serious about this?” You asked, holding the stationary in one hand, gesturing to it with your other.

‘I’m always serious.’

“Right.” You sighed, pulling your legs up to sit cross-legged. “I don’t think this would be very kind of me to do. I just met Anakin’s mother, our relationship is getting serious.”

‘Congrats. What does that have to do with my need to fuck you?’

“Uh everything.” You scoffed. “That’s cheating. I don’t want to cheat on him!”

‘Defensive are we?’

“Yes,” you hissed, scrubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand, “very defensive for good reason.”

‘I admire your loyalty, but be honest with yourself little doe.’

“I am being honest! I don’t want to cheat on him!” You shouted back.

‘You didn’t say that you didn’t want me to fuck your though.’

“Christ.” You mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I didn’t say that. You’re right.” You conceded.

‘Then it’s a yes?’

“Not necessarily.” You snapped, the true answer was right there, clawing away in the cage of your teeth.

‘So no then.’

“That’s not what I said.” You said hastily, alittle too eager to correct him.

‘I see.’

“What?” You scoffed, staring at the message that’d popped up.

Another followed, this time a voice message. You hesitated before pressing play, holding your phon up to your ear to hear it clearly. His gravely distorted voice washed over you in all its unholy temptation.

“Don’t worry little doe. I know just what you need.” He paused for a moment as if considering something, “It’s been a while since you’ve had a night out. Go have some fun, I’ll catch up with you.”

“Oh no. Absolutely not. You’re not knocking me out cold again.” You said angrily.

‘Of course not. I want you to be awake for this.’

“Then… then why do you want me to go to the bar?” You asked suspiciously.

‘Surprise :)’

“Fuck.” You muttered, rubbing your temples before picking up your phone to message Luke and Han, as well as your good friend from book club.

“Just to be perfectly clear: I’m not saying yes!” You said, looking around the room with a red tint to your cheeks.

‘Not a no either.’

You could practically hear his voice, that teasing tone you knew all too well. What an ass, a stupid sexy ass.

DATE

August 24th

“Oh look at you princess.” Anakin whistled wrapping his arms around your waist when you walked out of your bedroom in a sweet little pink dress.

“Pretty, pretty girl.” He mumbled and he nuzzled into your hair, taking a deep breath to smell the scent of your shampoo.

“Oh hush,” you giggled, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. “can’t be saying stuff like that, you’re gonna get me all flustered.”

“What if I want you to be all flustered?” He chuckled, tipping your head back to capture your lips and invade your mouth with a gentle caress of his tongue.

“Mmm taste as good as you look baby.” He whispered, his words fanning over your bottom lip and straight down to your core.

“Anakin…” you whined, looking up at him and wishing for mercy.

“Shhh don’t whine.” He laughed, pinching your chin between his forefinger and thumb. “I’ll quit teasin’… for now.”

“But you do look gorgeous you know?” He said sincerely, very lightly touching your cheek so as not to mess up your makeup.

“Thank you Ani.” You said shyly, leaning up on your tip toes to kiss his nose.

“So what’s the plan again? Dinner at that one Thai place you like? Then you’re going to the bar?” He asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter, his hands resting on the countertop at his sides.

“Yep that’s the plan.” You nodded, checking your bag to ensure you had everything you needed.

“Call me when you get there? You’re walking aren’t you?” He asked, looking at you with a gaze of concern that warmed your heart.

“Yes I’m walking and yes I will call when I get to the restaurant and I’ll text when I’m leaving.” You promised, tossing your mini backpack over your shoulder and giving him a hug and soft kiss.

“Alright sweetheart, I’ll see you at the bar.” He said in a low tone, smoothing out your hair as he held you close for a moment longer.

You left your home and Anakin behind, trotting down the steps to the city streets below. A walk would be good for you, plenty of time to think and plenty of time to clear your head of those thoughts before you reach your destination.

——————————————————————————

Diary Entry: August 24th

I’m so excited. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to do something for you.

I know it’s a bit presumptuous, but I think I know you fairly well and if you’re reading those nasty, raunchy books on your bookshelf… well I think it’s safe to say you might be interested in some of it for yourself right? You already think a man in a Ghostface mask with a knife is sexy.

I’m gonna give you what I think you like. I know I will love it. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time but I was always alittle too chicken to do it. Even before we started dating, before you knew about Ghost. It’s been a fantasy of mine that I’ve thought of way more often than I’ll ever admit.

But now I have your unspoken permission, well at least your non-denial of it. Which isn’t technically consent but who cares; it’s been so blurred between us already.

Honestly its super comforting the way that you so vehemently defend our relationship. I’ve never had someone go to bat for me like that before, it’s endearing. It makes me feel cared for, loved, needed.

I know it’s hypocritical, trust me I know that; but it does kind of get on my nerves as well. I want you to say yes and say it enthusiastically to Ghost. At the same time I want you to scream and kick and tell him to fuck off.

Being jealous of both sides of myself is frankly quite exhausting. I don’t know what I want other than you. I just want you. I want you to want both of me and you do, but that’s also a problem.

You think I’m two separate people and that makes me a tad worried.

The only comfort it brings me is that you aren’t enthusiastically saying yes. You’re denying the truth of course, we both know that. But you’re also keeping some loyalty to our relationship and for that I am so eternally grateful.

I love the way you love me even if you haven’t said it aloud just yet. You will soon.

——————————————————————————

Your group of friends were gathered outside the restaurant, as the last one to arrive, you of course received a light dose of good natured insults and chiding.

“There she is!” Your best girl friend Sam yelled, pointing you out to Luke and Han as you walked up the sidewalk.

“Finally! I’m starving!” Luke sighed liked he’d been waiting hours, according to your phone you were still two minutes early.

“Shut up and let’s get some food.” You snorted, pushing him through the door and into the yummy little Thai place.

After getting settled into your cozy corner booth you placed your orders and slipping into the familiar routine of gossiping and story swapping.

“How did meeting the parents go?” Luke asked, propping his chin up on the heel of his hand, his fingers drumming along his cheek.

“It went so smooth and oh my god his mom is so sweet.” You said, leaning forward in your seat.

“I was so worried they wouldn’t like me, but I think they did. Anakin said they did, I mean they really seemed to at least.” You nodded.

“Oh I’m sure they loved you. You’re the perfect girl to bring home to the parents. You’re the whole package.” Sam smiled warmly.

“You’re too sweet, giving me way too much credit.” You sighed, your smile faltering slightly.

“Anyway… yeah his mom was great. I think she was just alittle worried you know? I’m the first girl he’s brought to meet them so I feel like there was a bit of worry there at the beginning.” You explained, talking with your hands.

“She was talking about him as a kid and she just looked so… sad I guess?” You sighed, trying to find a better word to describe it but came up short. “So I think maybe she was just sad about him growing up, finally finding someone he wants to be serious with.”

“That’s so sweet.” Sam said, squeezing your hand. “I didn’t realize you were the first girl he’d brought them.”

“Yeah,” you nodded proudly. “He said he was waiting for the right one.”

“Ew that’s so gross.” Luke gagged.

“Fuck off.” You tossed a good natured insult at him, rolling your eyes despite feeling an immense sense of accomplishment… maybe a hint of guilt there too.

After the meal was finished, you all walked together out of the restaurant and set out on foot toward The Cerulean. A leisurely pace was set by Han and Luke who were happily at the head of the group while you and Sam hung back just a few steps behind.

“So he’s gonna be here tonight?” Sam asked curiously.

“Oh, yeah but he’s working though.” You said.

“Wait really?” She asked in surprise. “That doesn’t bother you?”

“Why would that bother me? If anything it’s comforting.” You scoffed.

“Well he’s like… he’s just there you know? Not participating he’s just gonna be watching.” She made a displeased face.

“Trust me, I have no qualms with being… looked out for.” You smirked.

“So you don’t mind that he’s going to be watching you the whole night?”

“No, I don’t.” You shrugged, walking the through the door as Luke held it open for the two of you to enter.

You broke off from your friends in search of Anakin, you spotted him behind the bar, animatedly speaking with a coworker that you vaguely remember Anakin referring to as ‘Trev’.

It was like you had some sort of homing beacon, Anakin immediately whipped his head toward you and beckoned you over with two fingers. He trotted around the bar to meet you halfway, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you flush against his chest, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

“How was dinner, pretty girl?” He asked, his voice low and smooth.

“It was good!” You chirped, squeezing him tightly again before he let you go. “Told them allllll about meeting your parents.”

“Good things only I hope?” He laughed.

“Of course. Good things only, always.” You nodded with a big smile.

“It’s not nearly as busy in here as usual.” You observed, scanning the large space and noticing a much lower head count than the times you’ve been here before.

“Oh I know,” Anakin nodded, “there’s some kind of opening anniversary for a pub downtown. Free beer or something like that.” He shrugged.

“Huh, well I’ll have to tell Han.” You said.

“Mhm yeah I’m sure he’d enjoy it.” He agreed, “you going too?”

“No, I’m going home when I leave here.” You shook your head.

“Alright baby, listen, I gotta go back.” He nodded toward the bar. “You know where to find me.”

With that he gave you a chaste kiss to the forehead and quickly walked back behind the counter, stealing a drink order right from under Trevor’s nose as he slid in front of him, you heard him snicker and the *thwap* of a towel snapping against his leg in retaliation as you walked back to your friends.

You spotted them off to the corner, Sam speaking with a shorter man you’d never seen before. You snuck behind her with a cheeky grin and tugged a lock of her hair gently as you passed by, she was unfazed, simply giving you a pink cheeked smile.

“Hey Han,” you called out to get his attention as you drew closer, his head following the sound until he saw you. “You know there’s a bar even going on downtown tonight?” You asked, coming to a stop just in front of him.

“Yeah, it’s at The Drunken Horseman.” He nodded, “I think a few of the guys were headed out there actually. Free beer.”

“W-well why didn’t you go?” You asked in confusion, knowing he wouldn’t have just passed it up for no reason.

“Cause a little lady I know likes it better here.” He grinned, tapping your forehead with his pointer finger.

“Aw, you didn’t have to do that Han.” You said, feeling a bit guilty. “You should’ve said something!”

“Whoa, don’t get all riled up. I don’t mind it at all.” He reassured you. “I can still do plenty of people watching from right here.” He said, knocking his knuckles against the table top he leaned against.

He waved his hand over to the left, your eyes following the gesture until your gaze was met with a younger guy, unapologetically and unsuccessfully trying to speak to a group of girls despite being seemingly incredibly wasted.

“I guess that’s true.” You laughed lightly, the pull of guilt still tugging at your guts.

“Listen, after we’re done here you should go!” You encouraged, “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get to do something that you wanna do.”

“Babes it’s no big deal.” Luke said, popping out from his seat behind Han’s massive frame. “I think we planned on skipping out a bit early to do exactly that.”

“Really?” You sighed in relief. “Good, I’m glad.”

“We did?” Han asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Uh yes, we had a whole conversation about this yesterday you oaf.” Luke scoffed.

“Oaf?” Han let out a loud, bellowing laugh at Luke’s poor attempt at an insult, making a little smile creep up the corner of your lips as well.

——————————————————————————

You decided collectively to call it a night just a little before 11:00pm so that Luke and Han could still catch Han’s group of friends at The Drunken Horseman. You said your goodbyes to them at the door and turned to face Sam after watching them leave.

“Are you positive you’re okay with walking home alone?” She asked you worriedly, “like absolutely positive?”

“Yes, I’m absolutely positive.” You said with an appreciative smile. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get home.”

“Okay.” She nodded, satisfied with your answer.

“You better do the same.” You said, catching her arm as she started to leave with the man she’d been chatting with all night.

“I will,” she signaled for him to wait while she got up close to whisper to you, “I looked him up when I went to the bathroom earlier. Arrest records and everything.”

“Good.” You grinned. “Have fun then.”

You spun on your heel to find Anakin and tell him goodbye, heading straight to the bar and catching him in another conversation. This time with a female patron that you’d seen before.

“I don’t understand.” She scoffed.

“What don’t you understand?” He scowled.

“I just don’t get why you’re mean to me!” She huffed. “I come in here all the time and I’m always nice to you, yet you’re an ass every time I speak to you!”

“Then stop speaking to me.” He said flatly, pretending to inspect a glass that he was drying.

“I should report you to management.”

“Please do.” Anakin shot back.

“They’ll fire you, for being rude to customers.” She threatened, crossing her arms.

“They’ll ban you, for harassing employees.” He snorted.

“God. You’re ridiculous, I asked you out one time-“

“Yeah and it was one time too many.” He snapped at her.

“I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing girlfriend.” He said sternly. “She is my everything and you, are nothing.”

“Like she’s-“

“Listen. Even if I didn’t have a girlfriend I wouldn’t go after a whore with loud ass mouth like you.” He snarled. “Leave. I’m banning you myself.”

“You can’t do that!” She yelled

“He can’t do what?” His coworker Trevor came over quickly after hearing her shout at Anakin.

“He- he’s trying to ban me.” She said angrily.

“What did you do?” Trevor asked the girl and looked over at Anakin.

“Nothing! I was just trying to order a drink and he called me a whore!”

“I did call her a whore.” Anakin willingly admitted with zero remorse.

“Wait is this the one?” Trevor asked.

“Yeah, she’s been bugging me, Jason and Stevie for the last few weeks. Comes in every now and again and won’t take a fucking hint from any of us.” Anakin grunted as he glanced over at her.

“That’s not true I w-“

“Nope. That’s enough.” Trevor said, obviously irritated, he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of her.

“Hey you can’t do that!” She shouted trying to grab his phone.

“You’re going on the wall honey.” He said, thumbing over his shoulder at a cork board of banned patrons.

“You’re serious?” She scoffed, “you can’t be serious.”

“Deadly. Now get out.” Trevor barked, following her angry path across the bar to ensure that she did in fact leave.

“Baby?” Anakin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you realized you’d been standing there with your mouth open as he tapped the underside of your chin.

“Anakin you didn’t tell me it was that bad.” You said, eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him, now standing in front of you.

“Ah.” He grumbled.

“I didn’t want to worry you sweetheart.” He said softly, taking both your hands in his. “She’s not coming back now so nothin’ to worry yourself over.” He said with a reassuring smile.

“That’s just awful though. She was doing that to three of you?” You asked in disgust.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Doesn’t happen often. Usually it’s April and Jess who get the creeps but every now and again there’s a girl who does it.”

“How much did you hear baby?” He asked, pushing hair from your face and holding your cheek.

“Just the tail end of it.” You lied.

“You know I’d never even entertain something like that don’t you, princess?” He asked, lines of worry etching into his forehead, “Never, I’d never even breathe in the direction of another woman.”

“I know.” You said with a small smile, you were being truthful. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind about his faithfulness, especially now after witnessing him tear into a girl over it.

“I know I have nothing to worry about.” You said, giving his hands a squeeze.

You might not, but Anakin does. Anakin does have to worry about your faithfulness whether he knows it or not; there’s a Ghost haunting every corner of your life that has no plans on leaving anytime soon.

“Good.” He said with a warm smile, pulling you into a hug. “Are you leaving?” He asked, pulling g back slightly.

“Yeah I’m headed home now.” You nodded.

“Alright pretty girl.” He said, kissing your forehead. “Be good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me when you get home?”

“Of course.” You nodded with a big smile that faded as soon as you turned around to leave.

——————————————————————————

“I saw your girl leaving, you headed out now?” Trevor asked Anakin as he was untying his apron.

“Yep, I’m leaving too.” Anakin nodded, folding the apron and tucking it under the counter. “Unless you need me to stay?”

“Thanks for coming in to help out man.” Trevor said, clapping him on the back. “We got it from here.”

“No problem, you know I don’t mind.” Anakin said, grabbing his wallet and keys. “See ya.”

Anakin left hastily stopping at his car in the back parking lot to grab his essentials. He checked his phone and saw that you’d made an unexpected stop at the little corner store for what he assumed was a snack.

“Perfect.” He grinned, tossing his hoodie over his head and switching out his shoes.

He tucked his mask under his arm and hopped into his car, parking it up the road a bit closer to where you were, just to get it out of his work parking lot. He jumped out, locked it and slipped into the nearest alley. He grumbled but hopped the fence at the end and continued down until he hit the opposite street, running parallel to the one you’d be taking.

“One… two… three… four… there.” He mumbled to himself as he passed by alleys between buildings until he found the one he was looking for.

This particular place was perfect for his purposes, no cameras, no foot traffic, no dumpster, a brick wall on one end and a recessed entrance to the building on the left. A building that was currently up for lease, leaving it tenant free. He scaled the short brick wall on his side of the alley, using the dumpster there as a boost.

Anakin’s sneakers hit the pavement with a satisfying noise when he dropped down from above. He tugged on his gloves and mask, hitting the side button on the voice box while he walked up the alleyway, his phone in his hand.

Your little blue dot was quickly approaching and his adrenaline was running high. His body practically vibrating in anticipation of what he was about to do, with your footsteps in audible range he tucked his phone away and bunched up a black handkerchief in the palm of his leather glove.

Your long shadow came into view, the lamppost casting it down on the side walk below. It shortened with each step you took. Seeing no shadow behind you, no other footsteps, Anakin knew it was safe to enact his plan.

The very second you came into view he lunged forward, clapping his hand with the bandanna in it over your mouth. Instinctively you parted your lips to scream, allowing him to shove the fabric in your mouth as he dragged you by waist and under your arms as you kicked and thrashed.

Part Eleven

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @rorysbrainrott @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

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palepersonacoffee · 2 months ago

Note

💜for the ask game?

💜 What is your favourite fantasy involving detrans/misgen?

My doctor decides I'd be be better off as a girl. Of course, if I knew that that's what they thought, I would switch doctors, so they don't tell me. Instead, they trick me into detransitioning- They tell me that my T levels are abnormally high, so I need to take a lower dose to get me back on track. After all, extra testosterone in the body turns into estradiol or something right? We don't want that. So they halve my dose indefinitely, and send me to a therapist that's in on the game. I think the therapist is kind of weird, but I don't want my mental health to take a turn because I'm sad about my lower dose.

The next appointment I go in to see the doctor, they tell me to take my shirt off. I ask why, and they gaslight me into thinking it's so they can check my health somehow- but they don't do it right away. I sit there on the table covering my chest up while they talk about the new drugs they're prescribing me. I don't think about anything but how humiliated I am- Whats Flibanserin? What's domperidone? What's Metoclopramide? What's topamax and why is the dose on that so high? I don't know and I'm not paying attention. I'm just desperately wishing I could put my shirt back on. When theyre finished listing off all the new medications I need to take, the brush my hands put of the way where I was covering up like it's the most normal thing in the world. They start squeezing my tits, massaging them, pinching and pulling and jiggling. I'm squeezing my eyes shut wishing it was over.

My next appointment, I'm really confused for some reason. Dizzy and stupid and dim. The therapist has been having me undress to talk about my trauma because somehow that's going to help me, so it's not weird that the doctor is having me undress now. They finger my sloppy cunt while they tell me that I need to stop taking testosterone entirely, it's very dangerous for me. I try to ask why but I'm so out of it, they just brush right over me. They put me on estrogen and I don't even notice. They tell me that to keep myself healthy, I need to start pumping my breasts. There's yucky stuff in there and I need to get it all out every night before I can start taking T again. They up my dose on everything. They tell me I can go ahead and leave my boxers and jeans and binder with them, I don't need them, they need to make sure I'm not using them to hurt myself. Oh, here's the breast pump I need btw. Start immediately.

My next appointment, I'm basically brainless. The therapist had to drop me off. Why was the therapist driving me around places again? What happened to all my boy clothes? Why are my tits so big? I can't remember. I don't have the brainpower to think about it for very long. The doctor doesn't even bother talking to me other than to tell me to strip. They press something big into my wet vagina, so big it's uncomfortable and I can't close my legs around it. Somehow, maybe using a medical glue, they make sure it stays inside me. Then they start fingerings my ass open, and do the same there. They tell me it's unsafe for me to be alone, but luckily there's a clinic near here that can help me. I need to be admitted ASAP. I look ridiculous when they finally let me stand up from where I was bent over the examination table, I can't even walk right. I waddle around, crab walking because I can't close my legs around the things inside me. They don't say anything when they pry my mouth open to stuff something inside there, either- I don't realize it, but it's my old boxers. They expect me to just stupidly take it without any explanation, and I do. They tell me to step into the closet over there and they shut the door behind me, locking me in until the end of their shift. I can hear them starting the same thing with another confused girl, but I cant make any noise to warn them. I wouldn't know what was even happening anyways. I can barely articulate my own name. When their shift is finally over, they take me to the clinic- It's just their house.

#detrans #ftmtf #medical kink #medical gaslighting kink #detrans fantasy #i think at that point they probably hook me up to anmilking machine with all the other stupid girls they saved in a stall in their barn haha

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sweetenerobert · 7 months ago

Text

begin again

1.3k | joel miller x plus size gender neutral reader

summary: you haven’t gone out on a date ever since you broke up with your toxic ex boyfriend — a year ago, a new opportunity rises when you meet joel miller.

warnings: toxic relationship (guiltrip, body shaming, gaslighting), self-conscious reader, awkward!joel, mention of an age gap (it's your choice, but reader is of age) teeth rotting fluff, first date in a cafe

a/n: doing this for @beskarandblasters for their Taylor Swift Drabble Challenge ;), i’m happy to participate!, if you would like to participate, read this post

a/n 2: as a plus size author myself, i wanted to try something different (keep out for more plus size reader in the mere future, but i still write male reader with no descriptions to let your imaginations go wild <333.

I loved how CUUUUUTE this idea is, i might write a longer version of this ;p also reminder, i went overboard with the word count :0

dividers by @saradika-graphics

“You’re seriously gonna wear that?” Trevor said.

Glancing down at your stomach and then back at your boyfriend, you were confused about what Trevor meant. “What do you mean?” Shrugging your shoulders.

“That,” Trevor pointed at you, and you were still baffled at what he was pointing at. “Your hoodie.”

Your eyes trailing back down to your comfort hoodie. You’ve had it ever since the start of your senior year of high school into now being a twenty-one-year-old college student. It had some tiny holes, but you didn't care; you loved the material, the color, and how it made you feel comfortable.

“Well, yeah.” You shrugged.

Trevor sat up from lying on his bed and walked towards you, a look of disgust on his face. But you couldn’t tell what that look on his face was. He was always good at hiding it.

“Babe, you know I love that hoodie,” Trevor started blatantly lying to your face. “But I want you to make a good impression on my friends, so do you think you could wear something different?”

That indescribable feeling in your stomach rose to your throat, feeling as if someone were choking you. The stale taste of bile stayed in your throat as your stomach felt like it was doing summersaults. You disregarded it to be nerves about meeting Trevor’s friends.

In the back of your brain, you knew that meeting them would’ve been a piece of cake if the front of your brain made you constantly nervous. Trevor knew they liked you, but he made you think they didn't. To make you feel small.

“But I have nothing else to wear that makes me comfortable.”

Trevor holds both his pointer fingers to signal you to wait with a smirk on his face, walking towards his closet quickly. Pulling out a trendy denim jacket he owned, you liked it, but it wasn't your style — or size.

“This,” Trevor smiled.

“But, it doesn't fit. I can barely get one button to close, and it's going to be cold tonight,” You complained.

Trevor groaned where chills ran down your spine; it made you not want to say another word. “C’mon baby, we don't want to be late, just put on the fucking jacket so we can hurry up.”

The attitude sent your way wasn't new, but you always felt like it was your fault, and this felt like your fault. He was trying to make you feel good; who’s to say he’s wrong?

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay; I didn't mean to get loud.”

That same meaningless apology you’ve heard before that always managed to calm you down. You zip down your hoodie, throwing it on Trevor’s bed, landing on the end of the bed frame, the hood between the mattress and the wooden frame. Taking the jacket and slipping your arms into it made you feel uncomfortable with how tight the denim felt against your back. You felt your shirt picked up — exposing your skin and making goosebumps occupy that area.

Looking at the mirror, you hated what you saw, but the smile on Trevor’s made you feel slightly better.

“I hate this,” You frowned.

“You look great,” Trever emphasized, draping his arm around your neck enthusiastically, which made you feel better. Right?

“Well, you finally look like you actually like my friends.”

“But, I’ve always liked your—”

“Okay, let's get going, baby.” Trevor kissed your cheek and left you alone in his room. The mirror catches your vulnerability in ways you couldn't see, and it makes you feel uneasy; it was bothering you that you couldn't figure out that word.

Disgust.

Disgust was the word that Trevor made you feel.

Judging you, making you feel like you're losing your mind, making you feel like you weren't enough. Disgust.

You were quickly slapping your face to erase any trace of Trevor. You stood outside the coffee shop where you agreed to meet up with the guy you matched up with on Bumble, Joel Miller.

It had been six months before you had gone back on dating apps, grieving the loss of your relationship in the past. Joel was one of the first few people you matched with. He was older, but he could hold down a conversation, making you feel like you could talk to him for hours. He was okay with meeting up with you, but he wanted to ensure you were comfortable with the timing; he was okay with waiting.

It had been five months until you agreed to see him; nervous to the brim, you didn't know what to wear; spending countless minutes in your underwear, you quickly put together an outfit and grabbed a hoodie.

When you first walked in and Joel noticed you, his smile beamed at you, making butterflies appear in your stomach. He had wired headphones in his ear as he stood up quickly, shoving them in his jacket. Wrapping his arms around you in a hug, he made you feel protected in his arms; he smelt of old spice and mint, and in your mind, it was adorable that you chuckled in your head.

As Joel backed up from the hug, he smiled at you again. “Hi.”

“Hi,” You smiled back. “Did I keep you waiting?”

“Uh, no. Not really, just listenin’ to the playlist you made me.”

“Oh god,” you buried your head in your hand. “You still listen to that?”

“Of course, it's the thing that helps me get out of bed.”

You chuckle and can't help but smile from ear to ear as Joel smiles at you lovingly. “Well, if you ever get bored with that one, I would gladly make you another one.”

Joel chuckles through his smile; he quickly rubs the back of his neck, looking back towards his seat. “Uh, do you wanna sit down?”

“I would love that.”

Joel directs you to your seat; you cannot help but feel heat rise to your face; as you sit in your chair, Joel sits in front of you. As you wiped your hands on your hoodie, you looked up at Joel; you noticed him resting his head on his fist, looking at you. That feeling of Joel critiquing little things about you rose back to when Trevor would do it.

“Trevor isn’t here; you're fine,” You thought.

“Is there something on my face?” Your quick to cover your mouth with your hand.

Joel shakes his head and smiles at you. “Just admirin’ you, you're s’ perfect.”

The heat in your face was reaching a dangerous level, where you could feel your face explode. “Stop, you're pulling my tail.”

“I’m serious, your amazin’.”

You can't help but look down at the table in despair as you rarely received compliments from Trevor; it's hard to believe what Joel was saying to be the truth. “M’sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No!” You shake your head. Taking a deep breath, you place your hands on the table. “It's just I’ve never received compliments, and it's only when my ex would make me forget how much of an ass he is.”

That padding of Joel’s palm rested against your knuckles; you look at your hands together, and you look at Joel’s welcoming smile. “I promise, whenever I compliment you, it's comin’ from the depths of my soul, sweetheart.”

The warmth of Joel’s hand made you feel comfortable, a feeling you craved with— nobody. You felt good in this moment. “Now, how about I get you a cup of coffee? I promise it's the best.”

You chuckle. “Come on, I had to meet you here; let me buy it.”

As Joel gets up, he slides his hands down in an ‘X’ motion. “Nope, as the gentleman my momma raised me, it’ll be my pleasure.”

“Okay, but the next time we go out on a date, I’m buying.”

“I’ll hold you to it, sweetheart.” Joel walks away, and you can't help but smile at him as he walks away.

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tomssexdoll · 7 months ago

Text

When I was your man

PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N broke up, after 2 years of dating she finally had enough of his shitty behaviour. Tom starts to see her everywhere and deeply regrets his actions, crying for you every night. One night he sees you at a bar, dancing with another man and he approaches you. A/N: inspired by when I was your man by bruno mars WARNINGS: dom! tom, sub!reader, eating out, alcohol mentions, fingering

Me and Y/N broke up a month ago, she couldn't deal with my shitty behaviour she said, complaining about how I treat her. When I refused to apologise she took her things and left, texting me later that we were over.

As soon as I saw her say that I burst into tears, realizing my shitty actions towards her.

I went to bed that night but it didn't feel right. It was the same bed but it felt just a little bit bigger, more empty without her, cold and lonely.

I hear our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same. The song we had our first kiss to, lost our virginities to, countless of memories wasted all because of me.

When my friends talk about her all it does is just tear me down, cause my heart breaks a little when I hear her name.

I've been super depressed after the breakup, not being able to sleep properly and not eating. All I wanted was her, to hold her, caress her soft skin, kiss and appreciate her. But she was gone, and I didn't know how long it'd be until I could have her in my arms again.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways, caused a good strong woman like her to walk out of my life, and it haunts me everytime I close my eyes.

I couldn't just set my selfishness down for a second, I was a fucking idiot, treating the kindest and most beautiful girl like shit, disregarding her feelings, gaslighting her and neglecting her. I looked at twitter, seeing headlines of her with another guy.

I sobbed and sobbed, crying my eyes out, seeing her already moved on. I knew I deserved it but I wanted her back so badly, she was my everything, my baby, my world. I wish I could turn back time and just start all over again, make her feel like the only girl in the world, make her feel special and loved.

One day I decided to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away, running out of all the alcohol in my house that I drowned myself in. I sat down, ordering a couple shots of whiskey, downing them within seconds.

I turned around to see everyone dancing, sweaty bodies pressed up against each other, making me remember the special moments we shared in this bar, tears welled up in my eyes again.

Then suddenly I saw her, Y/N was there, she was so beautiful, so stunning. Her features glowing from the flashing lights, curves showing off in her sexy dress. My baby was dancing like she loved to do, but she was dancing with another man, he smiled at her, holding her close and kissing her gently.

My eyes widened and I stared there in shock, it felt like the world stopped, like everything went silent. She swayed her hips, grinding into him. She looked like she was having so much fun.

I stepped closer, the lights now hitting me. She turned and looked at me, her eyes widening and her movements haltering. We just stared at each other for a while, she eventually rolled her eyes and excused herself, walking off. I ran after her, calling out for her.

Eventually I grabbed onto her arm, looking down at her "baby..please" I choked out a sob, she pushed me off "get off me Tom, I told you we're over.." she mumbled, not being able to look me in the eyes.

I noticed how she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, I grabbed her chin and lifted it to look at me, "I know im probably much too late, to try and apologise for my mistakes" I sighed "but i just want you to know, I hope he buys you flowers and holds your hand, gives you all his hours, take you to every party cause i remember how much you loved to dance, do all the things i've should've done..when i was your man.."

Tears welled up in her eyes, she hugged me tightly and sobbed into my chest, "oh tom..I missed you so much" I smiled and stroked her hair. "Let's go outside baby..talk about things better, hm?" I mumbled against her hair, she nodded and took my hand, leading my outside and leaving the guy she was with.

We walked to my car and got in, blasting the heating. "He's not with me or anything..i've been hooking up with him for like 2 weeks and I figured paparazzi might have been there to take photos and make you jealous.." she crossed her arms, frowning.

"I deserve it though, I treated you badly baby, you didn't deserve to go through what you did" I held her hand, rubbing my thumb over the skin softly, "maybe you can give me another chance? I swear I'll change baby, it won't be like the other times, I need to prove to you that I can change, I can be a better man for you" I started to cry again, she winced and got onto my lap, wiping my tears away and kissing me softly.

"I'm an idiot for forgiving you again..but fuck you seem so sincere.." she sighed, smiling softly. "I'll do anything for you baby, name it and i'll do it, I just can't lose you" I said, my voice shaky, rough with emotion.

"I haven't been able to function without you, you complete my world" I caressed her cheek. "Let's go home, I'm tired of living out of a shitty hotel" she giggled, climbing into the passanger seat again.

As we got home she rushed in, running onto our shared bed, "fuck..how I missed this bed" she rolled around in it, I smiled and walked in, laying next to her.

"Tom..?" she turned to me, "yes schatz?" I pulled her closer, looking down at her. "Why did you treat me so badly?" her question hit hard, I didn't really know myself. "Uh..I don't know..I was just stupid and I didn't appreciate the wonderful woman I had in front of me, I was a little intimidated, you were way too good for me and I just thought sabotaging everything would make it better, which now I see was fucking stupid" I groaned, rubbing my temples in frustration.

"I'm just glad you eventually saw how it affected me, I missed you a lot I will admit but I was also hurt and I still am" I nodded, "I know baby..and I'm so sorry, I wish I could take back all the pain" I said, reaching out and grabbing her hips, rubbing them softly.

"You know I'd do anything for you, I would take a bullet straight through my brain just to prove my love to you." She chuckled "baby..chill out" I smirked "sorry..I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you"

She climbed on top of me, tracing my features with her delicate fingers. "There will be no sunlight if I lose you baby, just like the clouds my eyes will do the same, if you walk away everyday it'll rain" I kissed her softly, she smiled "Tom that's beautiful.." she whispered and kissed me back.

I flipped us over, me hovering over her. "Let me give you the love you deserve, make you feel beautiful.." she nodded and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing black lacey bra.

My head dove into her chest, kissing and sucking softly.

She moaned softly, delicate sounds coming out of her beautiful lips. I reached down and removed her skirt. Her beautiful figure underneath me.

My fingers traced her curves softly, appreciating her beauty. "So, so beautiful..my angel" I whispered, kissing down her stomach and planting a soft kiss on her panties, her hips bucking up slightly.

"Tom..don't tease" she whined, I chuckled and slid her panties off, bending her legs and prying her thighs apart, licking a stripe on her folds, collecting her juices.

I slowly lapped my tongue onto her her clit, sucking softly, "mm!" she moaned loudly, gripping onto the sheets tightly. I smirked, happy to see her so pleasured.

I sneaked my hand up, entering 2 digits into her wetness, stretching her out. "Oh fuck!" she groaned as my fingers curled at her g spot, "is it good baby?" I teased, she nodded and screwed her eyes shut, focusing on the pleasure.

My fingers found their rhythm inside her, thrusting in and out. I could feel her release slowly approaching, her breath coming in short gasps. I increased the pressure on her clit, sucking harder as I felt her about to climax.

I could tell I was driving her wild, her head lolled back and her eyes were tightly shut, legs slightly trembling. "Cum for me baby.." I moaned on her clit, slobbering all over it.

I felt her pussy clench against my fingers as she came hard, a loud high pitched moan leaving her mouth. "So good.." I chuckled, licking up all her juices and climbing up to hover over her again.

I grabbed my clothed erection, "do you want it baby?" she nodded quickly, grabbing at my pants and shoving them off. I grinned at her urgency, pulling my cock out of my boxers and pumping it a few times.

"Can't wait to be inside you again.." I groaned, pressing my tip at her entrance, slowly pushing in. It had been a while since we last fucked, her "hookups" obviously not as big as me.

She cried out, holding onto me tightly, "fuck!", I dragged my hand down to her clit, rubbing slow circles to let her relax. I felt her pussy unclench on my cock, finally being able to thrust in better.

I slowly thrusted, gradually picking up my pace so I didn't hurt her.

Eventually my cock was pounding into her, my grip tight on her hips, holding her into place. "Fuck..so tight" I groaned, my head rolling back.

"Mmm! Fuck!" she moaned, feeling my tip hit her g spot, I leaned down and started to suck her nipples softly, earning a loud groan from her. My tongue swirled against her sensitive buds, making her throw her head back.

"Cum for me pretty girl.." I grunted, picking up my pace again and slamming into her, the tension building in my stomach as I felt my release approach, nails digging into her hips.

"Mmh! Oh shit!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close, her pussy clenching around my cock, increasing the amount of pleasure I was recieving.

I felt her body shudder under me, her orgasm washing over her and her juices painting my cock, I groaned and came inside her, shooting my load deep into her and making sure to keep thrusting so it could stay in.

I sighed and collapsed on top of her, cock still buried deep inside her hole. "I missed you so much baby..I swear i'll never ever hurt you again, I was so stupid to treat you that way" I winced "please forgive me and take me back.." she frowned at my pain, kissing me softly.

"I know you're sorry baby, it'll take a while for me to trust you again but we can try one more time, don't blow it" she sighed, I sighed in relief, peppering kisses all over her face and flipping us over so that she was on top of my chest, "get some rest baby" I whispered into her hair.

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @bkaulitzlover @ballhair @estxkios @ge-billsgf @charliesgoodboy

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webslingingslasher · 8 months ago

Note

Hi can I get any kind of frat!peter angst, I’m such a slut for angst and something ab frat!peter makes me go feral

*cleaning out my inbox.*

'who the fuck is lauren?'

peter spins around in his desk chair, his pen stops twirling in his fingers. 'lauren?' you feel your blood pressure boil, it's one thing to be commenting and liking everything she posts, it's another to pretend he doesn't know who you're talking about.

'lauren, you know, itslaurenpeters222' it clicks, peter's got a furrow between his brows, his mouth slightly opens with recollection. instead of answering, he follows up with a question.

'why?'

you're about to kill him, for a moment, you imagine stabbing his shoulder with his pen. you don't like the question, he wants to know what you know before he admits to anything.

'just answer the fucking question, parker. who's lauren?'

'i'll tell you who she is if you tell me why you're asking.'

wrong answer. you fly off the handle, you throw your phone at him, he catches it without blinking. her page is pulled up, each photo marked with a 'liked by its.parker and others.' in some, he's even got a comment or two showing.

it's nothing incriminating to the untrained eye, but you know fuckboys and this is how it starts.

'i'm not fucking around, parker. who the fuck is she?' again, he doesn't answer. 'it's not what you think, if that's what you're asking.' you feel your brain breaking, you claim gaslighting frequently, but this time you mean it.

'if i wanted to know if you were fucking her, i would've asked that. i need to know who she is because she's the only other girl you interact with.'

peter locks your phone and attempts to hand it back, you refuse to get close to him, he tosses it to the bed as a middle ground. 'she doesn't go to school here.'

you're at your breaking point and peter doesn't realize. you tone down your anger, you're speaking calm and softly, you need him to hear how close he is to losing everything.

'peter, i need you to look at me.' steady eye contact, it's like you're trying to read a brick wall. 'i swear on everything i own, i will walk out that fucking door and never come back unless you tell me who she is right now.'

peter's antsy, he heard you loud and clear, and now he's wavering on his options. you think he's about to call your bluff, you don't care, you're a thousand percent serious and if he lets this be the downfall, so be it.

you wait for two minutes, you counted to sixty twice and peter's still chewing on his bottom lip. you have your answer, you nod with disgust, you thought he was better than this.

peter got caught red handed. you honestly never took him for a cheater, peter's a lot of things but a cheater wasn't something you ever pegged him for. it's sickening how wrong you were.

you have nothing else to say to him, you snatch your phone from his bed and whip around for the door, the second your hand wraps around the doorknob, peter clears his throat.

'i had a friend in high school. a really, really good friend and he did something that hurt me. lauren is his little sister, she's two years younger than us and goes to rutgers. it never has been, and never will be, sexual. and i don't know why i still talk to her, all she does is remind me of her brother but i don't know, it's nice to know i'm still connected to their family a little, i guess, i don't know.'

your eyes narrow on his face, it seems like he's being authentic and honest. you don't bite, yet. 'and you couldn't just tell me that?'

'i don't like talking about him.'

'and that means...'

'it means that telling you who lauren is, opens up a new door of information about myself and you'll want to pick this apart and you're gonna get hurt when i shut down and tell you we're not going to talk about it. ever.'

peter's a softie around his friends, you assume this was a best friend, and if it was high school that means peter was still a nerd. meaning, it had to be bad.

'what did he do?'

peter crosses his arms over his chest, your question proves his point. he's blocking you out, he gave you all he was going to give, it's up to you if you decide if it's enough.

'peter, c'mon, you can't just dump all that on me and expect me not to-'

'yes, yes i can. i told you i wasn't going to explain it further. you wanted to know who she was, i told you, conversation over.' peter was right, it does hurt your feelings. he never wants to open up and it's frustrating beyond belief, but peter's taught you that slow and steady wins the race.

if you badger him about this, he'll shut you out indefinitely. if you slowly poke and draw out information over the course of a few weeks, you'd have the full story. more or less, you’ll attract a bear with honey.

'that's all she is? your old friend's little sister? there's never been anything more i need to be aware of? nothing?'

peter shakes his head, the one thing you believe, it's that there wasn't anything sexual. the thought has him look like it makes him sick to picture it.

'the last time i saw her in person she was fifteen, i promise there's nothing sexual. i don't even have her number, we interact on instagram, that's it. just likes and comments, no dm's or secret phone calls. promise.'

fine. it doesn't mean you like it.

'i don't like this. i don't appreciate you all over her page.' peter takes in your words, he's listening and while his tone is gentle, he's stubborn about the topic.

'i understand that, and i appreciate you telling me that, and coming to me about this, but i'm sorry, trouble, i'm not cutting her out. if you can't handle that, i understand. but if you do, we need to get this over with now, i don't need lauren resentment coming from you down the line.'

what he's saying without saying it, is that this isn't a bargaining chip and you can't hold it over his head. the topic of lauren dies tonight, and if you have a problem with that, you need to walk away.

you point at him, you're not nearly as hot headed as you were five minutes ago. 'i don't like this.' you feel like you haven't stated it enough.

'i understand. i'd have my own qualms if the situation was reversed.'

he brought it up first. 'and if it was reversed? how'd you react to this?'

'i'd be frustrated and have my own opinion, but i'd understand that this is a person you're not ready to let go of yet, and maybe one day you will be, but you can't be forced into it and you need to make that call when you know you're ready to move on.'

it's a shitty situation, at least peter knows it. you know it'll go nowhere but you can't imagine what could've happened that made him so clammed up.

'he really fucked you up, huh?' peter's hesitant to agree, he's terrified you'll use anything as a conversation starter. 'unrepairable.' no chance of fixing it, ever.

'you swear there's nothing going on?'

'i swear. i promise it on may. i promise it on the frat, on my relationship with you, on everything in me. there's nothing between us, i promise.'

you take a deep breath in, you're going to need more than a single conversation to think about it. it makes you insecure to the ninth degree, but you're confident he's telling the truth. to give peter some benefit, she's got a boy plastered all over her page dating back from two years ago to her third most recent post.

'okay. i believe you.'

'you do?' he sounds hopeful, he hopes this means you'll move on from it. 'i do. i don't like it, i don't support it, and i'll never support it, but i believe that you're not ready to let her go yet and there's nothing romantic or sexual about it.'

'and...' you can't believe you're giving the guy you're seeing a pass on another girl. 'lauren is the only exception. if i ever see you doing this with another girl, i'll stab your pen through your neck. are we good on that?'

peter hold his hand out, 'deal.'

you're allowing this to happen. this better prove how fucking trustworthy you are, if this blows back up in your face, you'll never make the same mistake twice. if peter lies, he'll fuck everything up for every guy after him.

you step up to meet his hold, your grip is tighter than his. 'deal.'

#frat!peter drabbles

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buckyseddie · 1 year ago

Text

give it another chance

pairings — fred weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, featuring platonic!bff!george weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, platonic!bff!cho chang x fem!hufflepuff!reader and platonic!bff!cedric diggory x fem!hufflepuff!reader

summary — in which, she's been hurt before, but fred hopes she'll give him a chance.

word count — 5.0k.

warnings — mentions of past heartbreak that reader experienced and having had given up on love and relationships a long time ago because of it, reader has deep, DEEP insecurities and issues with herself, reader is very close with cedric, george and cho, there's slight mention of angelina and fred's possible relationship AND flirting, george, cho, and cedric call her pet-names but they're all platonic, reader and angelina and fred are all good friends (along with the golden trio) but just not as close as she is with cedric, cho, and george, angelina and fred are extremely clueless and oblivious to what's literally RIGHT in front of them, fred worries over reader, cedric and cho protective mode activated lmao, fred gets jealous easily of cedric and reader despite the fact that they're just friends, this is a hurt/comfort fic, fred is kind of a big jerk to cedric because of his jealousy, use of pet-names [sweetheart, love], fluff, angst, fred is sooo whipped for the reader, mentions of the reader experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional/mental abuse in past relationships.

notes — yes, as a matter as a fact, the reader is a hufflepuff because i just love the fred x hufflepuff reader fics and also bc i'm a hufflepuff myself and this is kind of just a fic to comfort me because i deal with the same issues that the reader does and because i've just fallen into my obsession with him again! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

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SHE SIGHS, IGNORING THE CONCERNED looks she's quickly receiving from her friends.

"why don't you just tell him how you feel?" george quietly asks, trying to not irritate the girl, following her line of sight to the table where fred is sat with his girl friend sitting beside him.

"george, please. don't start this again." she mumbles, turning to look away from the other twin when he suddenly looks over to her direction.

he sighs, his eyes becoming filled with sympathy. "why not? everyone knows about how you feel. if you tell him how you feel, he'd immediately stop his flirtations with angelina." he murmurs seriously as she rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath.

"aren't you supposed to be sitting with him anyways? this is where us hufflepuffs sit." she rolls her eyes again as he throws a pointed look at her, knowing that she's only trying to change the subject.

"c'mon, darling. don't lie to me — or try to change the subject. this is me," he states seriously, raising his eyebrows at her as she sighs shakily, beginning to push her food away. "i'm always here for you."

"george... it really doesn't matter — it doesn't matter at all, how i feel about him. don't you see?" she asks him, her voice wavering in emotion as they both glance back at fred and angelina.

tears cloud her eyes as she gulps, trying to ignore the heartache and the sound of the crack in heart, while george watches her in concern — he knows this look too well.

anytime that [y/n] has ever loved or liked someone, she'd always wear that broken look on her face, after pushing them away and hiding her true feelings.

she just couldn't deal with allowing herself to let someone in — the last time she did, she experienced an insane amount of pain and trauma. she couldn't let anyone in again, after that.

but, even as she watches angelina and fred flirt so naturally with each other, not only does her heart split even further, but a part of her yearns to be with him.

more than anything, she wishes she could let go of the worry and fear of getting her heart broken again. but, it's not possible.

"he's happy with her. he doesn't feel that way about me and i can't just ruin that because of my feelings," she states, trying to keep her voice level. "besides, i can't tell him for other obvious reasons."

"merlin, [y/n]. don't do this to yourself — you can't keep punishing yourself." cedric speaks up, already having enough of the self-destructive behavior of his best friend.

"guys, just leave it alone," she inhales deeply as she prepares to lie straight through her teeth. "i've moved on. now it's your turn to do the same."

—————

GEORGE WALKS INTO HIS AND his twin's dorm room, only to notice fred sitting quite tensely on his bed, seemingly stuck in his own mind.

"brother, are you alright?" his brother's voice startles him out of his thoughts as he snaps his head up.

"oi! don't sneak up on me like that!" he yells in a joking tone of voice, immediately making the decision to hide his clear stress with humor — something that he does all too much.

george fixes his twin with a familiar look, as if to say, "seriously?"

fred sighs in defeat, avoiding his brother's worried glance for a moment.

"seriously, fred. what's going on? i've never seen you so upset like this before."

with another sigh, he catches his brother's concerned eyes. "[y/n]'s been acting different lately — i reckon she's been avoiding me."

a knowing look crosses george's face, causing fred to frown in confusion. "brother... what do you know about this?"

even with his undying loyalty to his twin — his best friend in the entire world — he wouldn't dare betray [y/n]'s trust and expose her feelings, even if he wants his brother and his good friend to finally be together and would do just about anything to make it happen.

despite how quiet and reserved [y/n] is, she can be quite scary when someone hurts or angers her. and boy, when she's angry, that is something he'd rather avoid than witness because of his own stupidity.

so, still with the knowing look in his eyes, he half-lies, "nothing. i just noticed that she was quite upset herself earlier at dinner."

hearing this, fred's ears perk up at this.

though, from the way his brother avoids looking him in the eyes, he quickly suspects that he knows more than he's letting on.

"georgie, what are you not telling me?" he questions, slightly louder than intended, as his brother simply shrugs, a small smirk placed on his lips.

with clear frustration, fred ignores his brother's weird behavior, going to grab his jumper. throwing it on, he quickly walks past his brother to the door of their dorm.

"what are you going to do?" he questions, worrying that a confrontation might make things worse for [y/n].

with that same tense look on his face, which quickly changes into one of determination, fred turns to face his brother, only for a moment. "i'm going to find out what's going on and i'm going to fix it."

and with that, he pulls the door open and rushes off down the stairs, not giving george a chance to respond to him, or to even stop him.

—————

THERE'D BEEN A PARTY IN the gryffindor's common room — george and fred had been lucky to not have joined the party, this time.

athough, lee had been the one to start it, not without putting a spell on the room to keep the loud talking and music from being heard outside of the room.

cedric had dragged [y/n] along with him and cho chang. but, no matter how many times her best friend tried to cheer her up, it was no use.

she couldn't stop thinking about fred and her feelings — and god knows whatever's going on between him and angelina.

though, someone appearing in front of her shakes her out of her miserable train of thoughts.

"[y/n]! how are you?" angelina asks, that familiar sweet and kind smile placed on her face.

despite her hurt feelings over fred and her refusal to admit anything, she knows that she hates the girl stood in front of her.

not only because of the fact that she's her friend, but because of the fact that angelina is perfect. and more importantly to [y/n], she's perfect for fred.

fred — someone she's cared for and loved for such a long time. despite how much she cares for him and how hurt she is by the aching pain in her heart, she couldn't ever be selfish for her own desires — more than anything, she wants him to be happy.

so, with a forced smile and the action of blinking away her tears, she answers her, "i'm fine! why? do i not seem okay?" she questions her cautiously and worriedly, scared that she's not as good of an actor as she thought.

"oh, no! i just mean fred and i haven't see you in a while and we've both been quite concerned for you." she explains, the worry and kindness very evident in her eyes.

at the very mention of the boy she loves, [y/n]'s facial expression falters. "o—oh... " she trails off, taking notice of the way angelina described herself and fred. was there truly something else going on between them — possibly something much more than she'd initially suspected?

both cho and cedric wear both awkward and sympathetic looks, knowing how uncomfortable the conversation is for their friend. though, she doesn't admit it.

after all, she wants her two friends to be happy, even if it means it won't be her being with one of those said friends.

quickly masking the pain that she feels into an expression of fake happiness, [y/n] turns to cedric and his girlfriend. "why don't you guys go on and enjoy the party? i'll be fine."

cedric, remaining the ever-so-loyal-friend, hesitates, while cho decides to pull him away from the two girls, having faith in [y/n]'s strength of character.

"are you sure?" he asks, continuing to hesitate as his girlfriend tries to pull him away.

[y/n] rolls her eyes and lightly shoves him towards his girlfriend, making sure to not push him too hard into her. "just go."

a few seconds later, cho successfully leads her boyfriend across the room to talk to harry, ron, and hermione, who are across the room. though, they're also watching [y/n] very carefully.

as she turns to face her friend stood in front of her, angelina watches her closely, trying to understand what she's feeling. though, she doesn't get a single hint, aside from the glee on her face — obviously this is fake, only to keep her friend from worrying or understanding the true feelings behind her pain.

though, most of the majority of the people at hogwarts know of her feelings towards fred, angelina is among some of the few people that don't know about it — she's too clueless for her own good.

"[y/n]... are you sure everything's alright? you seem... different."

as she goes to open her mouth, surely to give her some bullshit excuse of being fine, something behind her friend catches her attention.

a flash of firey-red hair makes her stop. she gapes as his slightly upset gaze finds her equally just as hurt eyes.

her eyes meet cedric's from across the room in panic, before she glances back at fred, only to notice george now appearing from behind him.

"[y/n]? what's going on?" angelina asks, though [y/n] only hears it as a faraway, muffled voice, before she's able to acknowledge it.

as her panicked eyes find george's, she notices his own worried glance, before looking back at angelina. "i... " she gulps, her throat quickly becoming extremely dry.

"i—i have to go... i'm suddenly feeling terribly sick to my stomach." she lets out in a wavering tone of voice and rushes out of the room, cedric quickly leaving with cho following him, after [y/n].

fred misses them, just as he begins to step forward.

—————

CEDRIC AND CHO FIND HER sitting on a pair of vacant stairs, holding her knees to her chest with her head hiding over them. tears are streaming down her cheeks — the emotions she's been desperately trying to avoid and hide and bottle up, have finally come exploding out.

she heaves in embarrassingly long breaths as both of her friends sit by her on both sides of her.

cedric places a hand over her shoulder, easily pulling his best friend into his chest to hold her as she cries once more, while cho holds one of her hands and squeezes it to comfort her.

"i... i'm so fucking stupid. how did i think i could get through any of this without going mad? and even more than that, it hurts to see them together... "

cedric's eyebrows knit together in an upset manor as he and cho share the same look. "you're not stupid, [y/n]. hardly. if anything, that bloke of a weasley is the one who's an idiot, not you," he murmurs as cho nods in agreement.

"sweetheart, anyone would be mental to not want to be with you. you're better than half the girls that are constantly throwing themselves at him." cho states seriously, which causes [y/n] to let out a choked laugh.

"not better than angelina, though. right?" she sniffles, more tears filling her eyes at the mere thought of her friend and fred getting together and having to see that every day.

"don't think like that." cedric murmurs, immediately tightening his hold on the girl when he notices two red-haired boys making their way near the stairs.

"what do you want, weasley? can't you see she's upset?" cedric exclaims, though not too loud to alert any adults walking around the castle, growing protective over his friend, hating how much pain he's causing her.

don't get me wrong, cedric likes fred — he approves of fred and he thinks he and [y/n] are perfect for each other.

but, in the moment, he would rather keep the weasley boy away, if it would make his best friend's pain lessen.

though, deep down, he knows that it isn't fred's fault. he doesn't know the truth — he's just as oblivious as angelina.

although [y/n] doesn't look up for a second, she knows she has to talk to fred eventually.

so, with a deep breath, she lifts her head up, looking up at the tall weasley twin as she quickly wipes away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

"it's okay, ced. it's not his fault." she croaks out, her throat completely dry and sore from crying so hard.

"are you sure, sweetheart? you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." cedric states seriously, rubbing his hand up and down one of her arms to further comfort her.

fred catches both the touch and the pet-name and something in him snaps; his jaw clenches and his eyes are lit with both irritation and jealousy. "mate, i'm sure she can speak for herself."

cedric snaps his head in fred's direction, his protective instincts kicking in. "i—"

before he can snap back at fred's angrily-hissed response, both cho and [y/n] abruptly stand up.

"enough!" [y/n] whispers in frustration as cho goes to walk over to her boyfriend, lacing their fingers together and gripping one of his arms gently, in order to keep him from getting into an unnecessary fight with his best friend's best friend.

both fred and cedric's angry looks falter and turn into ones of shock and bewilderment.

cedric quickly calms down as his girlfriend's physical touch eases his anger towards fred, while fred's eyes soften at the obvious pain in [y/n]'s eyes, even as she tries to stay strong in the moment.

despite how much she's been crying about angelina and fred, she steps forward, keeping a strong expression on her face and keeping a safe distance between her and fred.

"both of you enough with the yelling! you're both going to get us in trouble if you keep yelling like that." she whisper-yells before she turns away from fred to face cedric and cho.

"cedric, i appreciate how much you're worried and want to protect me, but i don't need protecting from fred — i can take care of myself," she states.

then, she turns to face fred, who smirks at cedric in response to him getting shut down. "yeah, mate. walk away." he says cockily, still under the impression that there's something between him and [y/n], causing him to be in this reckless state of mind.

this causes cedric's eyes to spark with irritation as he attempts to walk over to him in anger.

though, cho holds him back, murmuring to him to calm down.

"cedric, stop! he's trying to get a rise out of you." she states, becoming slightly angry at the behavior that the two boys are displaying.

"cho, would you please get him out of here? i'm fine, i promise." [y/n] reassures the girl stood beside her boyfriend, who nods in agreement.

"and you! stop being an arse! bloody hell! i don't know where the merlin you're getting this attitude from, but don't take it out on cedric, when he's only trying to be there for me and support me!" she exclaims quietly at fred as cho and cedric begin to walk past them.

though, as they pass fred, cedric stops to mutter something to him in a voice of utter protective instincts for his best friend in the entire world, "don't hurt her or you'll live to regret it!"

fred laughs cockily, once more. "i'd like to see that happen!"

with an annoyed sigh, [y/n] turns to face fred, glaring at him.

cedric, wanting to not to piss off her more than he already has, decides to simply glare at fred, before following cho down the hall and back to the gryffindor's common room.

george steps forward, shoving fred forward a bit, before nodding to the direction that both cho and cedric went off in. "i'm going to leave you kids to yourselves," he states as [y/n] nods gratefully, before he leans in to his brother's ear and whispers, "don't screw this up, brother!"

then, he's off, walking down the hall.

once it's just the two of them, fred clears his throat. he gives her that signature charming smirk of his.

though, she rolls her eyes at him — she's obviously still quite angry with him for his behavior.

"you know, i don't really appreciate you treating cedric like that. he was being protective — he didn't deserve that," she states in a strained voice, trying to ignore the part of her that wants to fall for his tricks and charms. "and i don't appreciate the way you were acting! what in the hell is going on with you?"

fred only rolls his eyes in response. "i was quite wondering the same thing about you, sweetheart," he states, ignoring the angry look in her eyes when he steps forward. "why've you been shutting me out, love? is it because of... diggory?"

"seriously? are you mad? you're not going to even acknowledge how terrible you were just acting towards one of my best friends? instead, you're questioning me with cedric — for what exactly?"

"do you have feelings for him or something? because if you do, i'd rather you just tell me, instead of leaving me confused!" he exclaims, almost angrily as he tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.

"merlin! fred, what in the bloody hell makes you think i have feelings for him? he's my friend — and only that! and last time i checked cho's his girlfriend, aka, my friend!" she groans, so unbelievably aghast that he'd think that about her.

"and if you really think that, then you haven't been paying attention!" she whisper-yells, much more angrily than before.

this, however, only frustrates the weasley boy even more. "what does that mean?" he questions, stepping closer to her, causing her to only step away from him.

after noticing this, it's just another thing about her that aggravates him. "and why do you keep putting this... bloody distance between us?"

she only stares at him in utter anger and confusion. how could he have not seen it, this entire time?

don't get her wrong, she knew that if she was hiding it all very discreetly, then it would all make sense.

but, that's just it.

she hadn't been discreet about it — at all.

even the golden trio know about her feelings for fred and they aren't even that close to her at all. george too!

that just proves how idiotic fred has been this entire time.

because even though she'd tried so hard to hide it, it was all too incredibly obvious of how she feels towards the firey, red-headed twin.

he rolls his eyes at her silence. "well, then? go on! pray tell, what have i not been paying attention to?" he questions in a tense voice.

despite being absolutely obsessed with the girl stood in front of him, he can't help but always feel so frustrated with her at times — times like this, to be honest.

she can be incredibly infuriating at times — much like how he's so infuriating to her.

"you know what!" she whisper-yells, not wanting to admit it quite yet, this time not backing away as he steps closer to her to hiss at her, "i apparently bloody don't!"

tears start to blur her vision at the thought of this entire conversation. why couldn't anything just be easy for her, for once?

her breath comes out shaky, fanning his face — that's how close they are to each other now — as that negative voice in her head starts to yell terrible things at her.

she's fighting internally on whether to tell him the truth or not.

if she tells him the truth, it could very well ruin everything — their friendship, the way he sees her, the relationship she has with his family, all of it.

but, she could also easily make up some lie — some bullshit excuse — that she's just too busy with homework and her classes to hang out with him and that she missed him terribly.

she decides on the latter.

"nothing, fred." she gulps, creating some energy to create some more space between them as she turns away from him.

"i've just been busy with some homework and classes have been overbearing — that's what i felt that you hadn't noticed before. i came to the party to see you — i miss you. 's all." she mutters anxiously, hoping he believes her.

although her excuse seems like it'd make perfect sense, fred doesn't buy it for even one moment.

"[y/l/n], you cannot honestly expect me to believe that for even one single moment. what's really going on?" he questions, a bit softer than before.

hearing him call her by her last name shocks her for a mere moment — he only ever uses her last name to address her when he's being incredibly serious.

as she masks her face into one of stoicness, she turns back to face him. "nothing, freddie. everything's fine."

even though he's just begun to get calmer towards her, he once again becomes completely irritated with her, once more, over the fact that she just lied to him.

"don't lie to me, [y/l/n]!" he exclaims in a small whisper.

her facial expression stays the same, hoping that he'll just eventually leave it alone. but, she knows better than that.

"i know something's bothering you! if it was simply just homework, you'd have told me immediately that that's why you haven't been around. it's more than that, isn't it?"

she throws her hands up in mere irritation. "why does it matter? you're happy with angelina, aren't you?"

fred's eyebrows furrow together in confusion. what did she have to do with this?

"why are you bringing her up? what does that have to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me?" he questions her, becoming much more confused when her eyes fill up with tears, once again.

"merlin, fred... you don't get it!" she exclaims, this time not bothering to care about getting caught anymore.

getting caught by one of the professors and getting in trouble with them would surely be a lot better than having this conversation with a very daft fred weasley.

but, as she turns away, finally deciding that leaving might just be better than being forced to have this very uncomfortable conversation, it's as if everything clicks into place.

fred's brown eyes widen as a light goes off in his head. the realization is too big to spare her of the embarrassment she might feel.

"do you love me?" he suddenly asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.

he couldn't be sure if he was right. but, at this point, he couldn't think of another reason why she'd bring up angelina. or why she'd be avoiding him so much.

he realizes now that it's obvious that this whole time she's been hiding something from him. and he knows now that it isn't because she's hiding something normal that she's going through — she always tells him everything, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is.

so, really, the only thing that he can come up with is that she'd be hiding from him is something as complicated as hiding romantic feelings for him.

but, he also feels that that's quite a ridiculous answer to all of his questions.

because... how could someone as extraordinary and beautiful and kind and smart as [y/n] ever care about someone like him in that way?

but, when she suddenly freezes in place, those words making her blood run cold, he knows now that it must be true.

"that's it. isn't it?" he questions once more, waiting for her to face him.

but, she doesn't. she'd rather die or get caught far away from her dorm room by one of the professors, than to have to admit the truth.

"that's why you've been avoiding me and angelina so bloody much!" he exclaims, as if he's finally figured it out.

now that he knows the truth and he's allowed himself to accept it, he swears he feels the feeling of butterflies swarming around his guts.

though, he doesn't get to try to calm himself when he notices the broken expression on [y/n]'s face when she finally turns around to face him.

her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyebrows are pinched together in both frustration and anger.

"say something." he begs when she stays silent.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she glances away. more tears fill her eyes and they quickly spill down to her cheeks before she can stop them. "it doesn't matter... " she shakily trails off, gulping down her pride.

she could still be her stubborn self and refuse to admit the truth. she could even gaslight and manipulate him into thinking he's crazy, to avoid the truth — just like what has been done to her so many times.

but, for one, she refuses to be the person that doesn't break the cycle or the type of person that becomes the problem. and two? even if she could do to someone of what was done to her, she could never, ever do that to fred — the boy she's so incredibly in love with.

and how could she lie when it's already out in the open? deep down, she knew that this was all going to come out and be revealed eventually.

"why's that?" he asks, voice deep and raspy, hoping to get an answer out of her.

she sniffles, shaking her head. "fred, don't... don't make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. i've ruined everything already," she says, voice wavering and trying whatever she can do to keep her emotions in control. "not after what i've just done."

even though fred can be the most clueless, daft boy at hogwarts, even he can sense the guilt radiating off of her. "love..."

before he can try to comfort her, she holds a hand up at him. "no... don't. please... please, don't tell me that this isn't my fault. because it is. i should've just kept my mouth shut. i couldn't just let you and angelina be happy."

he knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "[y/n], what are you talking about? how is this your fault?"

a small cry leaves her lips as she lifts up her hands in the air in frustration. "i never wanted this!" she exclaims, wiping away the tears off of her face.

his eyebrows raise in shock and he jumps a little at her mini outburst.

"i never wanted to fall in love again, okay? every time i've let someone in because i thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different, it's all ended the same — i've just repeated the cycle of heartache and emotional pain over and over again," she starts, trying to ignore the hurt look that's on his face. "i just wanted to push everyone away and never get into a relationship again. but then, i met you."

fred's quiet as he listens to her and does his best to ignore the anguish in her voice.

"it hurt too much to ever think about going back to that pain again — of getting hurt again, or letting someone in and giving them the key to my heart. i couldn't think about doing that without getting sick to my stomach." more tears fill to her eyes, but she pushes through it, knowing that she needs to get this all out, so that he really understands.

i mean, of course he knows. how could he not? he's her actual best friend. but, that doesn't mean that he doesn't really know to the full extent.

"but... even when i've known that falling in love again was wrong for me, i couldn't help it. something about you has always drawn me in and... " she trails off, more tears falling as she shrugs, "i—i don't know. i just can't explain it."

he steps forward, needing to say something to her — anything.

"no, please. don't say anything yet, freddie," he stops short, his heart breaking into a million pieces when he notices the broken look in her eyes. "i know i've ruined everything, okay? i know that. but, i just can't stand the thought of you hating me without understanding why..."

she turns away from him after this, too scared of his reaction.

"love..." fred trails off, suddenly in front of her as he lifts her chin up.

[y/n] is startled when she notices the soft and gentle look in his eyes — not a single negative emotion on his face or in his eyes.

"w—what are you doing?" she asks, confused and extremely emotional.

"proving to you that you can have the happy ending and you deserve it." he murmurs, only confusing her more.

he wipes away the tears on her face as he tucks in a stray hair behind her ear. that lovesick look on his face doesn't disappear as he cups her face in his hands.

"i know it's scary, but we can take this one step at a time. i love you and i'm willing to wait for you." he states, startling her once more.

"w—what?" she stutters, eyes widening.

"it's true — i love you, too."

"you... you promise?" she asks nervously, her heart beating faster than ever.

she gulps when he nods. a small smile takes over her lips as she leans her forehead over his, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.

"okay. let's take it slow then."

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jamespottersdaisy · 9 months ago

Text

A man without love

Peter Parker x fem!reader

|1.4k|

a/n: just a fluffy banter during a cozy night

song choice has absolutely no relation to the fic whatsoever, i just listened to it the whole time and liked lmao. dedicated to my baby jay @hollandweather

Moonlight to show the way so we can follow

Waiting inside her eyes was my tomorrow

Then something changed her mind, her kisses told me

I had no loving arms to hold me

Every day I wake up, then I start to break up

Lonely is a man without love

Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out

Lonely is a man without love

Somewhere amidst the mellifluous melody, the door clicks, and you know Peter is home.

You’ve been captivated in your book for far too long to notice the hour; quite late, might I add. It must have been a rough night for him to decide to stay past two in the morning for patrol.

You grab your phone and toss it between the pages as a bookmark before hopping on your feet.

“Nice song, baby,” Peter murmurs as he dawdles to your room, leaving its door agape. You wager he is changing to something much more comfortable than that suit of his but still barge in the room nonetheless. “How was the night, big guy?”

You catch a few discoloration on his skin as his bare torso moves around beside the bed. He glances at you sidelong, swiftly hauling a grey shirt on. “Smashing success. No criminals left around.”

He might have rushed to shroud his skin with cloth from you, but you are shrewd enough to match his furtiveness. No chance he is hiding those tiny injuries from you. Perhaps he has a good reason to do so– such as the look on your face when you see him hurt– but still, not good enough of a reason to deny you.

“Lemme see,” you clutch the hem of his shirt to lift it up, only for his hand to grab yours to parry.

“On my period, sorry, beautiful.” His eyes may be drooping from exhaustion, yet his smirk is as smug as always while you glower daggers at him.

“Let me see, Peter.”

“That’s harassment.”

“There’s something purplish on your back,” you try harder, but he is stronger.

“You’re delusional.”

“I know what I saw, quit gaslighting me.”

“Gaslighting is not real. You’re crazy,” Peter shakes his head.

“Are you hiding hickeys of trysting?” you jeer, making him chuckle and release your hand from his at last.

“Nope, don’t have time for that,” he shakes his head gallantly. “Just bruises of valour.”

Which simply earns a mocking scoff from you.

You don’t see or feel his amorous gaze on you as your fingers trace the new bruises. They’ll heal, you know they will, and still, you want to kiss every one of them into evanescing.

“How was your night?” he whispers, bringing his hand to your hair and pushing a strand behind your ear.

“Better than yours, apparently,” You now touch the small nick on his jaw tenderly and turn around to get a band-aid from the nightstand.

His eyes follow your movements around, gears working in his brain. “Please, not the pink one–” he calls when you grab a band-aid.

Too late. You are already springing back with a wide grin. “Pink one!”

“Not the pink one…” he closes his eyes in disdain as you strut back to his side and place a screaming pink plaster on his jaw.

He looks down in your eyes as you check his handsome face, clearly proud of your work. “I look so manly.”

“Most manliest you ever looked.”

“Wanna get in the bed with me?

“You’re on your period, Peter.”

He laughs and turns around before throwing himself into the bed. “C’mon, take your book and the music and come here.”

I cannot face this world that's fallen down on me

So if you see my girl, please send her home to me

Tell her about my heart that's slowly dying

Say I can't stop myself from crying

Every day I wake up, then I start to break up

Lonely is a man without love

Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out

Lonely is a man without love

When you sit on the bed, legs crossed with your book on your lap, Peter takes your phone, restarting the same song. He averts his eyes to your book. “Anything new?”

“Oh, yeah, you’ve missed so much,” your eyes widen with excitement, and Peter’s smile widens intuitively. “I don’t even remember where you left off.”

“The girl’s memories got stolen,” he reminds you. “Want me to braid your hair?”

“I get so sleepy when you do that,” you shake your head and open the book to go through pages with hopes of remembering what you’ve read since Peter left.

“I should hope so, do you know what hour it is?”

“But I’ve missed you,” your head snaps up, and Peter narrows his eyes. His hand is already up in your hair, playing and caressing the locks gently. “Liar. You’ve been reading that book since I’ve left home.”

“And two hours before that,” you lean into his touch.

“You’ve officially lost the right to complain about your headache,” He props up in bed, switching to a more suitable position for easier access to your hair.

“I will do it regardless.”

‘I know you will,” his long fingers take three strands, and you are already feeling sleepy. “Now, please, tell me what happened after the poor girl lost her memories.”

You pause for a minute, mustering all the plot you’ve consumed to drain. As you remember the things the poor main character went through, your blood pressure soars, eyes widen and voice raise. “They lied to her! Can you believe that?” you exclaim, at which Peter raises his brows in happy bewilderment. “God, I hate her mother so much!”

“Stepmother. Go on,” He interjects before passing to another strand of hair and dividing it into three. “What about her situationship?”

“He is not her situationship, Peter–”

“I mean, they flirt about killing each other, sleep together, but they’re not together.”

“That’s sexual tension and slow burn,” you scowl. Peter lets go of another newly done braid.

“Yep, that’s what I said,” he nods, caressing your cheek with his thumb. ”Situationship. What happened to him?”

That’s when you straighten your back, and Peter rolls his eyes. He never was fond of the male main characters of the books you’ve read. No matter how they looked and what they did, you always seemed to be infatuated with them.

“He was looking for her, and he found her and he freaked out when she didn’t remember her–” You start babbling about the male lead, but Peter is not amused.

“Breathe.”

“But he could not openly tell her everything, it would freak her out, so he–”

“Still not breathing, beautiful.”

“Stop interrupting,” you wave off your hand.”So he lied about who he is to gain her trust and–”

“He’s such a liar, what do you even see in him?”

“He’s hot,” you lightly slap his chest to stop him from cutting off your every word.

“He is short, but sure, go on,” Peter grabs you by the arm and yanks you closer to his chest.

This is his favourite time of the day, and you are always too busy to see it. Your voice echoes around the room, albeit he forgets most of the things you are saying by the morning. What matters is that you are talking. To him. With him.

“Doesn’t matter, still hot,” You nuzzle against his chest, feeling his hands roam around your hair and back. It’s dizzying and yet the most comforting feeling you’ve ever felt. “So, they start spending time behind her mother and slowly grow a bond.”

“There we go, she’s gonna take forever to trust him again,” Peter’s tone is already lowered, welcoming you into a place of drowsiness. Both of you in your pyjamas, tangled together under a blanket that Peter wrapped around you.

“So, you wouldn’t wait and fight for my love even if it took forever?” your words are heavy, and your voice is slumberous. Peter smiles down at your hooded eyes and rests his chin against yours.

“Baby, you didn’t acknowledge your feelings for me for six months.” He is right. You fought a lot to not ruin the friendship at first.

“I still could have taken my time,” you mumble, eyes closed. “Act oblivious to your flirting.”

“I could not be clearer that I was flirting,” he chuckles slowly, taking the book away from you and placing it on the counter. “And I would’ve waited another six months.”

“You would get bored.”

“Of you? Never,” is all that is said before you doze off and he shuts off the lights.

Every day I wake up, then I start to break up

Knowing that it's cloudy above

Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out

Lonely is a man without love

Every day I wake up, then I start to break up

Knowing that it's cloudy above

Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out

Lonely is a man without love

thank you for reading! let me know if you liked it!!!! love you guys so much!

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makeyoumine69 · 3 months ago

Text

Till Death Do Us Part (Chapter Six)

PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader; [no y/n]

SUMMARY: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

CONTAINS: Smut, masturbation (f&m), swearing, mild violence, abusive usage of phobias, obsessives & toxic behavior, sexual tension, love/hate, angst, gaslighting, mind manipulations.

WORDS: 5.2k

A/N: Hey guys! I'm still struggling with my health issues, but I'll try my best to keep up with the updates! I love you so much, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [AO3].

Oh, great, now I have to explain everything to him.

You were taken aback by his sudden curiosity and accidentally burned your finger on the hot pan. Startled, you squealed and brought it to your lips to blow on it. "Uh, I..." You turned and noticed how close Bateman was standing to you—dangerously close.

I should tell him everything, shouldn't I?

You swallowed hard and went to the sink to put your finger under cold water. "When I got here after work to pack up my things..." You paused to take a deep breath. "The door was open, so that's how I got in. Then I saw a girl, who I think was a prostitute, going through your things. She had your Rolex and a few other things. I caught her in the act and asked her to leave your things and go away." As you talked, the line between Patrick's eyebrows became more and more visible. "After she left, I found you unconscious in your bedroom, naked and covered in...well, it looks like you had a good time with that girl." You tried to hide the sadness in your voice, but you were okay with failing if that's what it took.

"You were teetering on the edge of life and death, Patrick. It was really lucky that I knew how to resuscitate people in that condition, but you scared me so much," and now you couldn't hold back the tears anymore. You were sobbing as you turned off the tap and grabbed a paper towel. "It's none of my business what you do with your life, especially now that our wedding is off. But I... I don't want you to..." you stammered, not daring to finish the sentence. "Never mind," you added, wiping away the tears. "I was just doing my job." With that, you opened the cupboard to get some plates for the pasta.

As you spoke, Patrick crossed his arms over his chest and furrowed his brows. "Christ, what a bitch..." He muttered to himself, trying to remember what the prostitute he'd picked up even looked like. The man let out a sigh. "Well, maybe, but I don't even remember how the sex was, so it must not have been that amazing." He gave a dismissive wave with his hands. Then he paused when you mentioned that he'd almost died. He swallowed hard and ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Oh..." Patrick closed his eyes to try to remember. He had a vague recollection of discovering a baggie of an unknown substance in his closet. He let out a groan and ran his hand over his face. "Oh my God..." "He mumbled quietly to himself, shaking his head slowly. He frowned and then noticed you were crying, squinting slightly. Bateman wasn't as bothered by your tears this time, but he didn't offer any comfort. He cleared his throat and glanced down. "Well, my mother said we can't cancel the wedding. We'd have to go through with it." He paused, then continued, "I don't know why I said that... It just came out before I could stop myself." Maybe it was how you seemed to care about him that softened him…or the fact that you saved him.

When Patrick announced that he couldn't cancel the wedding, you were so shocked that you dropped the plate and it shattered into pieces with a loud crack.

FUCK! He's gonna kill me!

Shaking, you swore to yourself and immediately crouched down to pick up the pieces until one of them cut your finger quite deeply, a trail of blood running down your hand almost instantly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll buy you another plate," you apologized, wrapping your injured finger in a paper towel, which soaked up your blood too quickly, but you didn't notice. "My mom... I gave her a call to let her know that it was all over. She likely called your mother and convinced her not to cancel anything. This is such a mess!" You pressed a hand to your mouth to stop yourself from crying, knowing that Bateman couldn't stand that kind of behavior. "I'll take care of it." You promised and went back to picking up the broken glass, ignoring the pain and the fact that you were bleeding.

Paralyzed, Patrick watched you drop the plate and his face twitched a little. He recalled purchasing the plate from Pottery Barn. It cost $75. He then watched as you cut yourself, pursing his lips in a gesture of disapproval. The man suddenly burst out laughing, amused by the absurdity of the situation. Bateman shook his head and tapped your back with his foot. "Ah, you're such a fucking mess..." He chuckled, then bent down and grabbed your arm gently but firmly enough to pull you up to your feet. "Why don't you go clean up in the bathroom? I'll take care of this." Patrick pointed to the broken plate. "But you owe me 75 dollars, okay?" He took the broom from the closet nearby and started sweeping up the pieces. "Just give your mother a call and let her know about the change of plans." He spoke in a calm, collected manner.

$75? For the fucking plate?

Frowning, you walked across the living room to your large medical kit, still open from the last time you used it to save Patrick from death. With true professionalism, you quickly cleaned your wound and wrapped the bandage around your finger. Then you sneaked into his bedroom, avoiding his eyes because you were so embarrassed, and picked up the phone to call your mother. That conversation shocked you, because the things she told you were something you really didn't want to happen so soon. Hanging up the phone, you sighed and put it down before returning to the kitchen where Patrick was already eating pasta—the sight stirred something warm in your heart, but you shook it off almost immediately. Approaching the kitchen island, you placed the money next to the Bateman's plate. "Here, $75," you said, leaning against the wall. "I called my mom, she said that...that our families want us to hurry up with the wedding." Rebecca closed her eyes and hugged herself. "I don't want to, Patrick, I'm not ready..."

The man tensed when he heard your voice and turned to you, noodles still hanging from his mouth. He covered his mouth with his hand as he ate, a little embarrassed, before taking the money. "Uh, thanks..." Patrick was about to compliment your cooking, but stopped himself. He cleared his throat and scratched his neck, looking away. "Well..." Bateman thought for a moment, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I...I can take some time off work and we can...I don't know...get to know each other better. "

You rubbed your eyes wearily, your heart skipping a beat at Bateman's suggestion that you spend some time together, as if it would help you get to know each other better. Although you were ready to refuse his offer, something stopped you, but you weren't sure what it was? Your true feelings for him? Or maybe you were so tired from your work at the hospital and your studies that you just wanted to relax a bit. "That's... that's not a bad idea," you finally said and went to the kitchen to get a plate, and this time you even managed not to break it. "Remember when we were kids, we used to hang out at your family's summer house in Newport?" you asked, opening the pot to get some spaghetti. "I wish I could spend some time there again, it's such a fascinating place," you considered sitting next to Bateman, but then changed your mind and decided to eat standing up. "I guess I could ask for some time off, but... I have exams coming up, so... I have to study anyway." You suddenly giggled and looked at him playfully. "Maybe you could help me? I mean, since I have already treated you."

The man quickly finished his plate and dabbed at his mouth with his silk napkin, monogrammed with his initials in the corner. Then he looked up at you and shook his head. "Uh, no...no, I can't say that I really... remember." Patrick mumbled slowly, closing his eyes as if he was trying to remember something about his childhood, but it was all blocked. When he tried to think about school, playing in the sand, running around, the only memories that came back to him were making reservations, going to the gym, and killing a prostitute—all things that happened days ago. Or was it weeks? Maybe a month. He sighed. "But Price has that vacation house in the Hamptons. I've been there... it's... nice..." He shrugged nonchalantly, hiding his jealousy. With a wry grin, Bateman stood and walked over to the sink, setting his plate down. "Uh..." He paused, then beamed back at you. "Of course I can help." The charming facade he maintained hid his fear. He didn't really know anything about the medical field, but he didn't want to admit it—he hated not being in control of a situation.

Three days later, you finally decided to go to the Hamptons, where Tim's vacation house was waiting for you. Even though you didn't understand why it was necessary to get a limousine for your trip, it gave you some time to think about things - the last few days, to be exact. In all those days Patrick hadn't touched you, not even once. And how many times did you end up crying in bed at night because Bateman was somewhere else and not with you? Well, you were pretty sure he was with Courtney, and even when he usually came back in the morning or at night, the man never bothered to notice your swollen eyes. But why should he have? It was obvious that you were just not hot enough for him, not perfect enough - nothing seemed to be perfect enough for him. As the car took you farther and farther away from New York, you turned to look at the man next to you listening to the music, his Walkman clasped tightly in his hands. "Are we going to be alone in the house... or... are you expecting someone to join us?" You didn't know why you asked, and for a moment you even hoped that Patrick wouldn't notice your question because of the music.

Opening his tired eyes, Bateman glanced down at you and slid the headset to his shoulder. "Alone. I mean.. most of the time, at least." He smiled as the limo rolled to a stop on a paved driveway.

The house was four stories tall, the tallest story being a glass terrace with a bar, swimming pool, and other amenities inside. The house was white with marble accents and oddly shaped windows- a contemporary dream. Patrick grumbled, jealous of the luxuriousness of the house. He put a ten dollar bill in the driver's hand and grabbed all the luggage with ease.

"Don't be too impressed...I heard Price just inherited it from his parents." The man was lying, but he didn't want you to compare his place to Tim's beach house. It embarrassed him a little. But he took some comfort in the fact that his body was slightly better than Tim's, and that his hair wasn't thinning at all, while Tim's was. Patrick opened the door with his foot and stepped out, his hands and arms full of suitcases and bags. He walked to the front door and stopped in front of it. Sighing, Bateman looked at you with an embarrassed look. "Uh, the key is in my back pocket if you want to get it." He turned his hips towards you, the black pants he was wearing stretching around his toned legs and backside. His white button-up was tucked inside the pants, showing off his perfectly muscled body. "Ladies first."

Rolling your eyes, you took a deep breath before reaching into the pocket of Bateman's tight pants, surely feeling the firm ass that made your face burn from shame. "I hope I can handle this." You commented after pulling out the keys and searching for the one that would open the front door, trying not to look at him as you grew more and more embarrassed.

Thankfully, the lock clicked and you both stepped inside. A bit later, you allowed yourself to look around the house, although Patrick refused to go with you as he remained in the living room not far from the bar. Trying to cheer yourself up, you went upstairs and paused by one of the doors before opening it with sheer confidence. As you stepped inside, a beautiful large room came into your vision.

What an amazing bedroom.

You thought, as you walked around, looking at the satin sheets that yearned to be touched. As you did so, the smooth fabric felt amazing under your fingers and your lewd fantasies occupied your mind faster than you could stop them. Closing your eyes, you pressed the palm of your hand to your mouth as you indulged in your dirtiest fantasy, where you was were out on the bed and Bateman worshiped every little part of your “imperfect” body before ravaging you until you were nothing but a whimpering wet mess.

STOP IT!

Annoyed, you gave yourself an imaginary slap before turning to leave the room, your cheeks burning from the inside. As soon as you opened the door and walked out, you bumped into something very hard. Only then did you realize it was Patrick, and the sound of splashing drink made your heart stop. "Oh my God! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you coming!" You wailed, looking up at his stained shirt and empty glass of something that smelled strong enough to be alcohol.

So that’s it. He’ll definitely kick me out of the house.

The alcohol made the stain on his shirt translucent, exposing his pecs and abs. The man stared at you for a second, inhaled sharply, and closed his eyes. After a moment, he opened them again and shook his head. "It's-it's fine. I packed enough shirts for our time here. Really, it's fine.." He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, flexing his muscles slightly. "This shirt was on sale anyway... just, uh, be more careful next time..." He balled the shirt in his hands and tossed it into a nearby laundry basket. "Go unpack your things. You can have this room." Bateman pointed to the bedroom behind you.

Ashamed, you just nodded and hurried downstairs to get your bag, but when you came back Patrick was gone.

Maybe it's for the best?

You hummed and went into the bedroom to unpack your things, noticing that everything in the bag looked so messy. Perplexed, you couldn't believe that Bateman could go through your things, he simply didn't find you interesting, so why would he waste his time on such things? Sighing sadly, you finished unpacking and grabbed a medical book, reassuring yourself that after your latest failure it was better to stay here and not bother him. All this time you had hoped the man would pay you a visit, but he didn't.

Meanwhile, Patrick was upstairs, choosing his own room. The man put his clothes away and opened the other suitcase he had brought, which was full of his other... necessities. Inside were some porn tapes, magazines, a kitchen knife, a CZ-75 handgun, a bottle of lube, a pack of condoms, all his skin care products, and a pair of leather gloves. Humming, Bateman took off his black pants and wrapped himself in a silk robe. He grabbed one of the tapes and looked around his room, expecting a TV and VCR player. Frustrated, he huffed when he didn't find any.

That cheap bastard!

The man thought contemptuously and went downstairs when he saw that you weren't there. He sighed with relief and sat down on the couch in the living room and put the tape in. Then he untied his robe and pulled down his boxers, biting his lip as cold air hit his cock. The tape started playing, something he'd seen a hundred times before, but it still got him worked up. Thunder rumbled outside, shaking the house. He wondered for a moment if you were afraid of the thunder or if you were trying to sleep through it. Patrick shook the thought out of his head and focused on the screen, moving his hand up and down his now erect cock robotically, used to the now normal routine he was going through. He closed his eyes, blocking out any sounds other than the lewd moaning coming from the TV. He thought of Bethany, then Evelyn, then Courtney, then Bethany again, then... you. Moaning softly, Bateman thought of your ass, your tits, your face—it was almost enough to push him over the edge. The thought felt taboo to him, a forbidden attraction. Inflamed, he groaned and tilted his head back against the sofa, eyes closed, his jaw clenched in a face of pleasure as he moved his hand faster.

Unaware of what was happening downstairs, you read the book, lost track of time, and passed out on the bed for a few minutes, but soon your sleep was disturbed by the loud clap of thunder.

God, is this a monsoon season or something?

You grumbled and got up to turn on the light, shaking with fear because you couldn't control yourself and you hated being alone during thunderstorms. Then you quickly regained your composure and left the room to go downstairs and maybe make a cup of green tea. As you entered the living room, you heard a lewd sound that turned out to be a woman's moaning. Embarrassed, you couldn't believe it - had Bateman really brought some of his chicks here on the very first day? Slowly you crept around the corner and spotted Patrick sitting on the black leather couch with his back to her, but from his twitching movements she could tell he was masturbating, watching porn on the big TV. Panting, you had to cover your mouth to avoid being noticed, but somehow you were sure Bateman heard her nervous gasps. Patrick's throaty groan sent shivers down your spine and you didn't know what to do as your mind screamed an alarm telling you to just come back to your room but you couldn't move as if you were stuck to that fucking wall. Breathlessly you felt your hard nipples brush against the thin fabric of your white top and you couldn't ignore the fire in your core any longer, letting your fingers slip into your panties soaked with your flavor. The moment you touched your swollen nub, you couldn't stop yourself from moaning, thinking that Patrick wouldn't be able to differentiate your moans from the lewd sounds of porn. Hot and bothered, you didn't notice that you were slowly sliding down the wall to the floor, your fingers continuing to rub your clit in unison with Bateman's guttural growl. "Mhmm, Patty..." you mewled out a little louder than you expected, and when you heard everything go silent, you stopped moving before carefully rising to your feet.

Suddenly, Bateman's eyes flew open at the sound of an unrecognizable moan, the sound breaking him from his reverie. He removed his hand from his cock and pursed his lips into a tight line, staring at the lewd scene before him. Then the man shifted so that he was sitting on his knees, the front of his body pressed against the back of the sofa so that he could get a better look at... you. As you stood up, he watched you with a penetrating gaze. "Rebecca... sweetheart, love of my life..." Patrick crooned softly, a smile creeping across his face. "Were you... spying on me again?" He raised an eyebrow at the sudden rush of confidence running through his veins. He stood up, staying behind the couch so as not to intimidate you with his naked form. "Rebecca..." He murmured slowly, his voice comforting yet unsettling. "If you are... attracted to me... you can say so. This is the second time I've caught you pleasuring yourself over me. Am I right? The second time?"

Breathing heavily, you closed your eyes and fixed your top and panties. "What will it change if I say that?" you suddenly rejoined, shuddering at the bright flash of lightning, your hands clawing at the nearby wall.

Patrick tied the robe back around his waist, keeping his eyes on you, and put his hands on his hips, now annoyed. "Uh, a lot, actually." He sneered at you. "If you would just be honest with yourself, and me, then we can end this…this game of facades."

"No, it will change…nothing." As the word fell from your trembling lips, you walked away before Bateman could see the tears streaming down your sad, twitching face.

Without looking back, you hurried back upstairs to your room, where you curled up on the king-size bed, crying as you tucked yourself under the covers.

Get out of my head, get fucking out!

Trembling, you closed your ears, but the pornographic moans continued to spin in your head along with Patrick’s growling as he jerked off, as if that was not enough, your mind decided to make you suffer even more by adding the picture of Courtney making out with Bateman as if it was happening right in front of your eyes.

"Fucking bastard, I hate you!" You spat through your gritted teeth and clutched the pillow with all your might.

As you walked away, Patrick sighed, exasperated and annoyed. Women always annoyed him with their emotions. Cursing to himself, he followed you to your temporary room, pausing when he heard you scream at the door. Shaking off the urge to go into full violence mode, Bateman knocked on the door. "Rebecca, come out. You're hysterical." He kept his voice calm, even though he really wanted to yell at you - tell you how stupid you were. "Let's just... y'know, talk, okay?"

The moment you heard his voice, all of your insides clenched into a tight knot, forcing you to tremble under the covers. "Leave me..." you wanted to say something else but you paused suddenly, as if your inner nature was protesting and refusing to obey, not allowing you to finish what you were about to say. "Uh, fuck!" you cursed, pulling the blanket away before sauntering to the door to open it.

Sobbing, you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw that Bateman was smart enough to put on a robe, at least he didn't make you suffer from seeing him naked. "You want to talk?" you asked, briefly wiping away your tears. "Let's talk. Have you hired a hooker yet? That's why you decided to warm up with porn?" You crossed your arms like him. "How did you get like this, Patrick? How could money and wealth change you so much?"

Bateman frowned at the accusation. "What? No, of course not. I don't even know any in this area." He closed his eyes tightly for a moment to stave off the impending headache before opening them again. "I just... I have needs, Rebecca. I'm a man with needs...and I didn't want to spend money on a hooker, and you...well, I don't know if you'd even..." He paused and sighed. "You're so...frustrating. You treat me like a monster, but then you jerk off to me!. I don't... it's hard to... you know... read you." His eyes widened slightly. "Change me? I can... assure you, nothing has changed." Bateman smiled, but inside he felt like a bundle of nerves ready to spring. Has he changed? If he had, he couldn't remember. "And I've always had money, in case you forgot!"

You’re worse than a monster.

You thought, biting your lower lip. "Speaking of needs," you leaned against the door, not noticing that your hard nipples were visible through the white top. "I have them too, especially when I'm ovulating, but I'm not driven by them! We're humans, not animals!"

"Oh my God, oh my fucking God." Bateman muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm not driven by them. I have a high sex drive, okay? If I want to spend the night with a hardbody, is that so wrong, Rebecca? Are you...jealous, huh? Is that the problem?" He was getting angry now, his jaw clenching as he spoke. "I know you're a virgin, so you could never understand, but I want to be distracted. My life is a living hell and I want to feel something. Do you understand?"

You scowled as the memory of the recent incident with the hooker flashed through your mind. "I remember when I came to your apartment and that prostitute was about to rob you...you were unconscious in your bedroom, covered in your...semen and completely wasted." With that you sighed and ran a hand over your face. "This is so wrong and disgusting, Patrick." Your voice was laced with pain and sadness, but you managed to keep your composure as you stepped back into the room. "If I lie on this fucking bed right now and tell you that you can do whatever you want to me... will that stop this madness?" You swallowed the fresh tears and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Just break my neck and tell your lawyer it was an accident so my family and you can get money from my life insurance. Come on! Do it!" You continued to taunt him fearlessly. "'Cause I'm...so fucking tired of this life...of my dearest family...I hate...I HATE YOU! ALL OF YOU!"

Patrick exhaled and then stepped back, watching you mentally collapse. Then he came closer, leaned down and slapped you hard with the palm of his hand. "Pull yourself together..." He said slowly, so you could hear every word. "I know you're a... you're a smart woman... but you're hysterical. If you keep this up, I... I don't know what I'm going to do. " Bateman murmured in a defeated tone, staring at you with an almost pleading look.

Once his heavy palm met your face, you could see stars in front of your eyes, but you didn't make a sound. You just touched your bleeding lower lip and looked at the blood on the outside of your hand. "Don't you dare..." you hissed and quickly stood up. "...to touch me again!" And then you slapped his face in return, your palm burning from the force of the blow.

Shocked, Patrick stumbled to the side from the slap, holding his cheek. He stayed still, slowly bringing his hand to his lips. The man pulled his hand away, seeing a dot of blood on his finger. Rage overtook him.

"Not the face..."

"I'll call the cops and you will rot in jail, you fucking psycho!" Scared to death, you were about to rush to the nearby bathroom, but you twisted your ankle and fell to the floor, frowning from the sharp pain. With a muffled whimper, you attempted to crawl away from Bateman, knowing that he would probably kill you here and now.

Now…Everything will be finally over.

"Not the face..." He muttered again before whipping his body around just as you fell to the ground. "NOT THE FACE YOU BITCH! YOU- PIECE OF TRASH!" Bateman roared, stomping towards your trembling little frame. Infuriated, he tilted his head and stepped on your back, stopping your movements. He watched you through the red veil, his face contorted with rage. After a moment, his features softened. Under normal circumstances, he would kill you. No question about it. But these were no normal circumstances. Patrick reached down and grabbed your arm roughly, pulling you to the nearby bathroom and pushing you inside.

There were no windows, just a toilet, a sink and a mirror. "You... stay in here and think about what you just did." He said through his teeth, staring at you with intense anger. "I brought us here for you. I tried to do something nice for you. But you can't appreciate anything I do, can you? I am... trying my best here, Rebecca. But you treat me like some... monster. Just because I hire prostitutes? Is that it?" Bateman scoffed, then sighed. "When you're ready to apologize, you'll get an ice pack on your ankle. Until then... enjoy your solitude, I guess." Then he closed the door, took a key from the table and locked the door from the outside.

It was only when you heard the lock click and the light go out that you realized you were trapped in the dark bathroom...alone. And worst of all, you had a fear of the dark, Patrick probably forgot about this—just like all moments you shared in childhood. As you heard his distant footsteps, you spiraled more and more into the panic attack, feeling your lungs spasm painfully from your rapid breathing.

Calm down, Rebecca! Calm down! It's just the darkness, there's no one here but you.

You tried to count to ten, but couldn't as your mind didn’t function, stuck on the horrifying images of being trapped here forever.

What if he left me here to die? In this fucking bathroom?

Frightened, you sobbed, biting your lips to stifle your crying, not wanting to give Bateman the pleasure of hearing you. The metallic taste of the blood almost made you gag, along with the surrounding darkness that pressed down on you like a heavy press. Shaking, you slipped to the floor and hugged your knees, pressing them closer to your chest as you curled up on the cold floor like an embryo.

I will not ask him to let me out...I will not! I...can...hold on...I'm strong enough to make it through!

Your cries barely audible, shaking violently as you were so fucking scared and broken, mentally and physically, that it seemed you would never see the light of day, locked here forever. How pathetic and stupid it would be to die like that…

At the same time, Patrick sighed and ran his hand over his face as he sat down on the bed. Frustrated, the man crossed his leg over the other, bouncing them slightly as he looked at the still image on the TV from the paused pornography. He drummed his fingers against the side of his head, raising an eyebrow as a memory came back to him like a freight train—you were scared of the dark and he forgot to turn the lights on in the bathroom. Bateman cursed himself, glancing back at the locked door. He didn't want to send you into hysterics, he wanted to do the opposite actually—give you time to think about how much you were overreacting. Patrick stared at the door for a few moments before standing up, walking back to it. He hesitated, the key hovering over the door knob. Then, the man swallowed his pride and unlocked it, opening the door a smidge and putting his hand against the bathroom wall, flicking on the light switch. He quickly closed the door again, not locking it this time as he pressed his body against the wall next to it.

Closing his eyes, Bateman sighed softly, his chest movements slowing down. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

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