#then i came back after a few months and
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umossu · 4 months ago
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Uh hello suggestive zukka here
okay so um
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and uhh also a whimsical version
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and line art for documentation purposes
yeah so uh
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slfcare · 18 days ago
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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leciraofthewilderness · 6 months ago
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
#loz#tears of the kingdom#Link#Zelda#I will say also that I think part of the reason totk is special to me is very personal#like when it came out I was still struggling with the worst burnout of my life#I had had a few months of exhaustion between January and March and in May that exhaustion was still sticking to me#it was hard to get out of bed hard to do anything I felt so tired that I almost felt sick but I wasn’t sick#and the thing is Zelda games are my biggest special interest#and having a new one to play like genuinely I’m not joking it gave me bsck so much energy#I was doing really badly but when totk came out I played it for an entire weekend straight basically#and like my mom came to visit me and help me out with basic life stuff#and like sit with me while I played just like enjoying being together#and that was really nice#over that summer and the fall after I started getting to know someone I work with better#largely over conversations about totk at first#and they’ve become a good friend#(and become someone that I feel safe to be fully myself around)#and so I just have this really strong personal connection to totk#like I will not claim to be impartial about it#there are definitely criticisms that I can acknowledge#in particular I don’t like that they un-amputeed Link let Link be disabled#and also ganondorf’s characterization was shallow and one dimensional#and I’m sure there’s other things I could think of#but the overall narrative#including Zelda becoming the light dragon and then turning back in the end#I really like that#it felt like a narrative of healing to me#and playing it at the time that I did felt really healing to me too
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dat-lil-shark · 3 months ago
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Just to inform you, guys. I’m intending that, for the majority of our Sparkling AU, it’s an AU, so it’s not about the characters when they are actually babies anymore. It’s basically about the whole entire TFP story except it’s set in a universe where there are no actual wars. The whole ‘war’ thing is just some sparklings going into groups and play-fighting with their imaginations. Every character that ‘died’ in this universe are just either moving to another school (ex: Cliffjumper & Elita One) or got tired of the game and didn’t wanna play anymore (Ex: Skyquake, Dreadwing, and Breakdown). And all the human characters are all little ragdolls that are brought to life by the sparkling’s imaginations.
cause the actual show crippled me and this is my denial mechanism.
(read the tags)
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morganbritton132 · 2 years ago
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Oh my god! How have I never thought about this? Your Steve is a teacher! He’s probably used to trying not to curse.
Now I’m imagining him at a metal concert, everyone decked out in black with a heavy bass pounding and he’s saying words like ‚fiddlesticks‘
Oh man, these guys have been touring for months like absolute heathens and then here comes Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington for the summer stretch of the tour with his ironing board and his clean polos. Steve, off the back of teaching second graders for an entire school year, steps onto the CC tour bus and his shoes stick to the ground because they never cleaned up the beer they spilled. He says without thought or irony, “Jiminy Crickets, guys.”
Steve and Eddie are not-to-subtly making out in his bunk when they hit a pothole the size of Manhattan and Steve cracks his head against the bunk above. He mutters, ‘Cheese and rice’ and every single member of the band that they thought was sleeping starts laughing.
The worst is when Steve slips into his teacher voice with fans because wrangling second graders into an orderly fashion isn’t that different from trying to get overzealous heavy metal fans to listen. Steve’s trying to tell the line waiting for the CC meet & greet that the band is running behind and they’re just so loud. He sticks his hand in the air until people quiet down and then is like, “Hand up, mouths shut. Let’s form a line and use our inside voices.”
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feligayzed · 2 months ago
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hii... grins... question abt surface au...
how long did it take for sebastian to get used to walking on land with Legs again and does he ever need aids like a walker... ive got a few ideas forming in my head for the fic i promised but i need to know which are possible and which arent..
Hihi!! You know I was thinking about this the other day and I wanna say it took him a hot minute to regain full confidence in walking, like nearly a year? The first few months post-procedures were really rough, like that was the time period where he (begrudgingly, Painter and doctors insisted) used a walker to get his feet back under him, and as he progressed switched to aids such as elbow crutches~
Present day he doesn't need them anymore, but he does keep a cane in the closet as a backup in case of bad days (he didn't anticipate the long lasting effects, so that was a kind of hard pill to swallow. The logical side of him suspected that he wouldn't be able to simply pop back with his 20yo vigor, but his hopes were maybe a touch too high)
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singingcicadas · 1 year ago
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(Partial) group shots of Orion Pax's outlier vigilante team:
Roller. Glitch. Windcharger. Skids. Trailbreaker.
Everyone on the team is dead. All of them died very painful explicit deaths, except for Windcharger. Roller came back in the end, but Optimus did not. Alyon was the last time they all stood together.
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artiststarme · 2 years ago
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"A Little Fruity"
It was just an average night for the Munsons. Wayne was taking advantage of a rare night off to catch up on laundry and watch a rerun of one of his favorite Western films. Eddie was fiddling around the kitchen trying to create some sort of semi-edible dessert for the two to eat after they had finished their sodium-filled TV dinners. After creating a symphony of clunks and bangs, Eddie came bursting around the small island with a small plate and thrust it into Wayne’s face. 
“Here, try this. Isn’t it amazing? And it’s healthy!” He said excitedly, pushing the plate into Wayne’s hands and watching him take a small nibble. 
Wayne didn’t know what he made, some sort of berry danish or tart it seemed. It was alright but he wasn’t a huge fan of fruity desserts and much preferred richer flavors such as chocolate or caramel. But still, Eddie had tried his best to make a ��fancy’ dessert and he deserved praise for that. 
“Pretty good, kid! It’s a little fruity though,” he said and gave his nephew a thumbs up while he shoved the entire tart into his mouth.  
“Hey, like me!” Immediately, Eddie realized what he said and tried to backtrack. “Um, not in a gay way!”
“That’s the only way,” Wayne said after a moment, raising an eyebrow. He maintained a calm composure, the direct opposite of Eddie who was on the verge of a panic attack. Eddie’s heart beat hard against his chest, his hands started to shake, and tears filled the brims of his eyes. 
Eddie couldn’t believe he’d been so careless with his words. He’d grown too comfortable and now he was going to pay the price. His uncle was going to abandon him and never talk to him again. And Eddie couldn’t even blame him. If he were him, he wouldn’t want his eccentric, fag of a nephew living with him either. He didn’t know what he could say to fix this. 
“Um…” Eddie couldn’t even speak through the fear clogging his throat. He hadn’t been this scared of Wayne since he was dropped at the man’s doorstep by the social worker when he was 11. It had taken months of Wayne slowly breaking down his walls and gaining his trust until he stopped being so afraid of him. But now with one small slip of tongue, he felt like he had reverted back to the little bald-headed kid he was back in the day that had feared everything.
Wayne, immediately recognizing the terrified glint in his wide eyes, set the plate of dessert next to him on the couch and raised his hands in comforting surrender. “Relax kid, I don’t care what you’re into as long as you’re happy. And safe. It’s alright, Eds. Calm down.”
He rose from his seat and approached his cowering nephew carefully, making sure his hands remained in Eddie’s point of view. Eddie watched him approach with wide eyes as he shook like a leaf. When Wayne placed his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the boy immediately launched himself into his uncle’s arms for a comforting hug. His frame shook with the force of his cries and the whole time, Wayne just patted his shoulders and murmured comforting words in his ear. 
“It’s alright, kiddo. You’re still my boy, nothing's gonna change that. It’s alright, you’re okay. I know this isn’t how you wanted to tell me but it's okay.”
Wayne meant what he said. His boy was different in a lot of ways and he’d always accepted him before. He wasn’t going to turn on him just for loving who he loved. Times were hard on people like his nephew. Was he disappointed that Eddie was going to have a harder time finding love than his straight counterparts? Absolutely. But he knew it was beyond Eddie’s control and he would never blame him for that. Not for something he couldn’t control and probably not for some things he did have control over. 
Eddie whispered into his shoulder, “you don’t hate me?”
Wayne shook his head passionately, tightening his grip on his nephew. “Of course not! I’m always gonna love ya no matter what. There ain’t a thing you could do that would make me hate you, Eds.”
Eddie let out a weak chuckle, “even if I didn’t graduate again?”
“Even then.” 
“What if I murdered someone?” Eddie asked, words coming out more steadily with his worries assuaged. 
Wayne scoffed, “you can’t even kill the bugs, kid. You couldn’t murder anybody.”
Eddie pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. There was a smile on his face now but it was dimmed by the tears stuck on his pale face. “But if I did?”
“I’d be a little mad but I’d still help you hide the body. You’d probably have a reason. Now, stop yammering and get that guitar of yers. Show me that new tune you were working on.” Wayne said, swatting at his nephew’s tangled hair and pushing him away. 
He listened to his cackling as he went down the hall and shook his head. His boy was too good for this world and he could only hope that when he got hurt, he’d be able to pick up the pieces. 
~*~*~*~
Months later, Wayne remembered their conversation as he sat atop a picnic table outside his trailer smoking a cigarette. As soon as he’d seen the broken body of that young girl in the living room of his trailer, he knew it couldn’t have been Eddie. No, there was no world in which his sweet nephew would ever hurt another human being. It wasn’t in his nature. Eddie was theatrical and extravagant but he was also sensitive and tenderhearted. 
This horrific deed couldn’t have been his Eddie. Not when just a few months ago, he had come out to him with a joke about a goddamn fruit tart. Not when he’d nearly had a panic attack about being hated by the one person that was always in his corner. No, there was no way regardless of what these piece of shit cops said. He just hoped that he could convince them before things got any worse for his boy.
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thestarmaker · 1 month ago
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I think everyone should have at least one full music album committed to memory that they can "listen to" in case of boredom
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genekies · 4 months ago
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tag vent
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#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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jorrated · 9 months ago
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does this makes sense?
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sillyfreakx5 · 2 months ago
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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toorumochi · 2 years ago
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Gakushuu: I want a man to take me to dinner
Gakushuu: and then I’m the dinner
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encodedkismet · 8 months ago
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google search how do i keep my current obsession and bring in a second obsession at the same time without having a whole breakdown about """losing""" the current thing to the next thing
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itsmewahoo · 10 months ago
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sorry to my followers who followed me for a specific thing. i may be a teensy tiny bit obsessed with little goody two shoes right now
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clownprince · 2 years ago
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Hoooooly shit I finally read the 2021 Joker series and my God. He's really been through it jfc
- his bf broke up with him and he got his eye shot out
- got framed for A-day
- found out that some shady global organization took his DNA and was trying to clone him so they could control the clones but they just made horrific monstrosities because his DNA is fucked
- had THREE separate parties taking turns trying to kill him for several weeks
- nearly got eaten by cannibal socialites, got BOILING WATER thrown in his face and promptly got his ass beat by Vengeance
- had Gordon come very close to killing him
And NOW...
- got shot 3x in the abdomen and once in the fucking HEAD...
- nearly buried alive
- stabbed by some guy in a bathroom
- possibly poisoned by Harley (???)
- nearly killed by Jason and shot AGAIN in the leg
- nearly fucking drowns
- gets brain surgery sans anesthesia in a storage closet performed by someone who is definitively not a brain surgeon
- nearly burns to death / nearly gets killed by his double who turns out to be a triple I suppose
Like... he has been absolutely going THROUGH it fr. Someone please get this guy a warm blanket maybe some hot chocolate
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