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novemberheart · 2 months ago

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{overview} John realizes his mistake, you and Simon grow closer

{warnings} cursing, some angst, fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly 141

Chapter 24 <- Chapter 25 -> Chapter 26

“Pick up your bloody phone,” he growled. He paced around his office, his mind automatically jumping to the worst. Well, could you blame him with your history? “Come on sweetheart,” He pleaded on the other line. He had shown up exactly three minutes ago ready to pick you up for a lunch date off base, yet you were nowhere to be seen.

He paced back over by his desk, wondering if he should start calling in the boys to look for you. It was then he saw it. The world went silent beside his heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“No,” he nearly whined, his chest clenching painfully. He cursed moving as fast as he could down the hallway without attracting too much attention. He was going to shred that folder and its contents. He actually found it a bit funny when he found it. He was so against you joining and now you were one of the most important aspects of his life.

He should’ve destroyed it right then and there.

He could only imagine how you felt right now. The man who you had deemed your alpha rejecting you from first glance. The man who you had shared your mind and body with. He felt sick. He ran into Kyle in the elevator. His honey eyes widened at his appearance, his hand reaching out gripping onto his shirt. “What’s happened?” He urged.

“I fucked up,” he admitted instantly. “I don't know how to fix this, Kyle,” he gasped. His own hands grabbing onto the beta.

“It’ll be alright,” Kyle soothed, his own heart pounding in his chest.

“I still had those profiles Kate had sent, the ones with omegas she thought would work with us. I was a bastard and crossed them out. Including our girl. Well, I almost crossed all of them. I left one be,” he swallowed back his nerves, his hands beginning to tremble. He had never had such a bodily reaction before. The thought of losing you too much for his nervous system to process.

“What do you mean you left one be? Like there was one you wanted?” Kyle pressed. John nodded slowly, before shaking his head- contradicting himself.

“It wasn't that I preferred her. Given her history she just seemed like the best fit if we had to pick one,” John explained. At the time it had made sense. He didn't know any of you and it wasn't like he had put that much thought into it. He wasn't ready for an omega at that time. He hadn't even sent the papers back to Kate; he just let them rot in the bottom of his file cabinet. You were also the one Laswell was pushing for. If he rejected you, maybe she would leave him alone about it. At the time it made sense.

The elevator had gone up and down a few times before they had finally gotten off. Vernie greeted them at the door, but John beelined to your room.

Your sobs were deafening. He wasn't sure if he had ever heard someone cry so hard.

And it was his fault.

He tried the handle but you had locked the door. Your sobs continued so you either didn’t hear him or you didn't care.

“Sweetheart, it's me. Let me in so I can explain,” he knuckles rapped against the door desperately. He heard you sputter something. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what you said. “Please, pretty girl. I know what it looks like, but please don't put any thought into it. I crossed you out just to get back at Laswell for pushing me to choose an omega. Please open the door,” he begged. Your sobs didn't decrease in the slightest, his alpha nearly throwing him into a frenzy.

“Can I come in, love?” Kyle spoke suddenly. You gave no response other than painful-sounding sobs. Kyle winced his hand rubbing over his chest like it would soothe the sharp pain.

“I love you,” John said. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready to talk about it,” his voice cracked. The alpha moved on shaky limbs to the couch, sitting with his head in his hands. He threw insults at himself quietly, before standing up again, making his way back to your door. “Please, honey, let me in. I need to see you,” he was back to desperation. His knuckles grazing against the door again.

“Give her time,” Kyle soothed, through his own gritted teeth. He couldn't understand how John had been so reckless. He had obviously left the folders in an accessible spot. You wouldn't just go snooping around. Kyle just hoped you didn't think he had anything to do with it.

It had been three hours. Your sobs had died down, making the house silent. That was almost worse. Kyle had talked him down multiple times from knocking your door down. The beta had to leave for training, leaving John by himself with his own thoughts. That had always been a deadly combination.

He had to relive it when Johnny came home, except the Scot wasn’t putting up with it. He grabbed a sharp tool out of his room, unlocking your door in five seconds flat. John stood up, but Johnny growled out a warning.

“Stay there,” he commanded. The alpha had no room to disagree with the burning beta. When they first met, John had assumed Johnny was an alpha based off of the way he carried himself.

“Peaches?” his voice was quiet and soft to not startle you.

“Go away,” you whined, making him wince.

“We had nothin’ to do with that, hen,” Johnny assured. He wasn't going to be in the doghouse because of the Captain’s mistake. Maybe on the field- but not when it comes to you. His hand reached out resting against your heated back. The emotional toll is already making you feel sick. You were burning up with a fever. “Come here, please,” it wasn't so much of a request as it was an order. You lifted your head up from the pillows, your raw eyes looking up at his. He whined low in his throat. His arms darting under your armpits, to pull you on top of him. You started sobbing again, the sounds hitting John on the other side of the door like a ton of bricks. You curled yourself against Johnny. You needed comfort, despite being mad at the world and everyone in it.

“He didn’t want me,” you mumbled sadly. “I called him alpha. I opened up to him. I trusted him. I slept with him. And the whole time he was wishing I was someone else,” you whined out. Johnny understood your hurt- he felt your hurt, yet he also knew that wasn't true in the slightest. John loved you madly.

“That's not true, Bon. He’s absolutely mad for you. He wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone. He had done it before he even met you, and he did it just to be obnoxious because Kate was pushing for you so hard and we weren't too keen on an omega- you know that,” Johnny reminded. You didn't want to be talked off the ledge. You wanted to jump. You wanted to be mad and be hurt without it being invalidated.

“But I wasn't enough to change his mind. Just one look at her on paper and she had him considering getting an omega,” you shot back. You tried pulling yourself away, wanting to find comfort in your sheets and not in the arms of Johnny. He didn't let you.

“Maybe for a split second, Bonnie. But if he had put any more thought into the situation he would've picked you. I know he would've,” Johnny reasoned. You weren't in the mood for reasoning.

“You can't prove that, Johnny. If he already had it in his mind that she would've been the better fit then I doubted I could've changed that,” your voice raised. John kept his ear against the door, his heart twisting painfully. “The only reason I was let into this pack was because Simon was hurt. He didn't care what omega Kate had picked for him as long as he could use them.” you had pulled yourself off of him, moving to a stand.

“Exactly! He didn't care which one he got. He didn't have his heart set on her bonnie. If he did he would've asked for her. You weren't written off because he didn't want you, you were written off because if he had approved you, you would've been flown out here the next day and none of us were ready for that yet. I know the reason you joined the pack feels like you were being used and you were. We’ll all admit that. But that's the world we come from, Bonnie. We are all puppets for our higher-ups to get what they want. They ship us off to the corners of the earth to fight in some war that no one, besides them, has reaped any benefits from. We are all being used in some way and you were too when you joined the pack. But I can promise you this, beautiful- and I can speak for everyone when I say we love you so fucking much. You're the best thing that has happened to us and we wouldn't trade you for anything,” he finished, his voice cracking at the last sentence.

You hated that his words made everything feel alright again. You still had lingering resentment at John and you probably would for a while- and every time you thought about it. But Johnny had made some good points- sincere points. Besides you had pulled a similar stunt with Simon not too long ago, and he managed to forgive you. You rested your head against Johnny’s shoulder, letting your body weight fall against him. You just needed some sleep.

You had woken up to a knock at your door. You were by yourself, but you could still feel the warmth of Johnny against the sheets.

“Come in,” you groaned. You needed water. It was John, carrying a takeout container of food. It was too dark for you to make out too much of him, yet you could feel the emotion dripping off of him.

“You need to eat,” He said softly. He flicked your desk light on. His beard was unkempt from him running his fingers through it. His eyes were so red and puffy, you were sure it was agonizing to blink. It hurt you to see him that way- yet you looked no better. His hand darted out, a natural instinct to guide you to your chair. You dodged away from him, sitting down yourself. He sighed, slowly sitting down on the edge of your bed. You remained silent. You didn't want to eat the food he had brought you- you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of taking care of you (like he always had), but you were starved, not having eaten since this morning. He remained quiet as you scarfed down your meal, his fingers picking at the calluses on his palms.

You closed it up, taking a few gulps of the water he had brought. You flicked the light back off beginning to get back into bed, until he grabbed you. You squirmed against him mumbling a few ‘let me go’s.’ He paid no mind holding you against his chest, his legs trapping you between them.

He buried his face in your neck, his grip on your constricting.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, making you halt. He sounded so small. He was no longer the booming alpha whose mere presence offered your protection and stability. Now he was afraid. Afraid that you didn't want him anymore. Afraid that you didn't want to be here. Afraid that you had regretted what had happened between the two of you. “I can't have you despise me, sweetheart. I just can't,” he whispered. Since you've joined he’s been discovering new things about himself every day. He was quicker to fall in love than he thought. He could be a good alpha to an omega. He was also weaker than he thought. If you had told him four months ago a little omega he was still getting to know could bring him to his knees so quickly he would’ve told you to fuck off.

His sad scent was seeping into you, softening the chilled edges of your heart. He was regretful, you could tell. You relaxed into him causing him a sigh of relief. “I love you,” he murmured. You didn't say it back and he didn't expect you to. “So much,” he continued.

“You didn't mean it, John,” you replied softly, your hand resting against his back. You may have forgiven, but you weren't going to forget so easily. He could tell by your tone. You could get in your head so easily. He supposed he could too. He pressed a kiss against your cheek, finally letting you go. You remained against him for a moment, before pulling away. He stayed solemn as he grabbed the containers off your desk, heading back towards the door. He paused by the door, resisting the urge to beg you to let him stay. To let him curl himself around you and make everything better. He settled for a quiet ‘goodnight’ the door shutting behind him.

He wasn't sure how you'd take the information. He couldn't imagine you’d be happy- he prayed you wouldn't be. That would be the ultimate jab.

“Sweetheart,” He greeted. You looked up from your phone, offering him a small smile. Things had been awkward between the two of you- not that you had had much contact since last night.

“We have a new assignment. Me and Kyle leave in two hours,” He explained. When your face fell he was relieved. What if you were just sad for Kyle? He chewed back the thought.

“How long will you be gone?” You questioned.

“Shouldn't be more than a week. It’s a fairly easy one,” he sighed. It was silent for a moment. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

“I’ll miss you,” you breathed. You started to pull away but he held you there. He just needed a moment longer.

When you saw Kyle you nearly tackled him over, your face smushing against his. He tried not to take it personally. You were still hurt. Feeling like you were second best and unwanted. He had to understand that. He was trying to understand that. Hopefully, his being gone will soften you.

“Come on pups, time for your walks,” Simon spoke, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off the counter and his mask. Vernie had learned that whenever Simon grabbed his cigarettes it was time for a walk. She wormed her way out of your lap, bounding over to the door. Simon attached her leash holding it out for you. It was dark out. The night sky making you think of your first kiss- then John.

You three walked along a walking path, Simon making sure to put himself between you and groups of jogging soldiers.

“Simon?” you asked. He grunted in response.

“How did you get over me not putting you down as my alpha? That must've felt like a rejection,” you questioned. While they weren't entirely in the same situation, you felt maybe Simon could offer you some advice.

“It did,” he replied bluntly. “But then I realized I hadn't been acting too alpha-ish to you. Then you heard me say all that bullshit that night so I didn't have any room to be upset at you anymore,” he explained, guiding you off to the side. He pulled out his cigarettes, rolling his mask up to his nose. You bit back a giggle. “I’m still surprised you weren't more upset about it,” he sighed. “At least not that you've shown.”

You would still think about his words- less and less over the past few weeks. You don't know why but they didn't burn you as much as John's actions had. Maybe it was because your feelings were stronger for John? Or maybe it was because you knew deep down Simon didn't mean it. But John's actions had confirmed a belief you had about not being good enough. You gasped softly. That was it.

“Confirmation bias,” you gasped. Simon narrowed his eyes at you. “John didn't think I was good enough to be in the pack- and I had already felt that way. That's why it still hurts so bad,” you explained your thought process.

“You need to get that out of your head,” Simon spoke. “It wasn't like we all sat around and discussed every omega and came to the conclusion someone was a better fit than another. The old man probably didn't even have his glasses on when he was skimming through the profiles,” Simon huffed. He knew his Captain. Every decision he made was well thought out and concise. If he had really wanted to pick an omega he would’ve interviewed each of you himself, made you fill out a ten-page survey, and discuss it with each member of the pack individually. Also, Laswell had sent the papers electronically, he had just printed off a copy to mess with. Probably after a rough mission and one too many whiskeys. The rest of your sentence finally hit him. “What do you mean not good enough?”

“Well, I mean you know,” you started, shrugging.

“No, I don't bloody know. That's why I'm asking,” he shot back.

“Kate has always said what an indispensable and vital pack you are. That's all anyone here talks about. Omegas come up to me all the time and ask what it's like to be a part of this pack, or how I got into this pack. Nobody believes I got in by just being myself,” you explained.

“They don't know you then,” he snapped. “Then they'd be askin’ why we were daft enough to go so long without you,” he pressed the rest of his cigarette out, grabbing another from the pack.

“Simon?”

“Yes, pup,” he sighed.

“Kiss me?”

He paused the cigarette still hanging between his lips, the flame just a few centimeters away. “What?” he asked out of the corner of his mouth.

“Please?” you breathed. Your hands reached out gripping the front of his jacket. His heart hammered in his chest, your eyes staring up at him wide and wanting. His hands covered yours, not making any move to push them off. He couldn't break himself away, his eyes holding yours as his head lowered. He stopped right in front of you, his lips brushing against yours. You stared back equally enthralled. You closed the distance, your eyes fluttering shut, as you pressed your mouth against his. He reciprocated instantly, pushing his head forward to deepen this kiss. Your hands moved up to hold his jaw and he quickly grabbed the leash from you not wanting it to get in the way of you touching him. Your hands cupped his face, pulling him impossibly closer, gasping when his teeth nipped your bottom lip. He smirked against you and you had half a mind to pull away as punishment until he backed you against a tree. You gasped his name, making him groan against you, his hands digging into the fabric around your hips.

He hoisted you up, his neck already growing sore. His kisses were exactly like your relationship with him. Starting off sweet, then a battle of teeth and tongue, then back to sweet before you could decide which one you liked best. You pulled away with a deep inhale, your lungs burning from forgetting to breathe. He ‘tsked’ softly, pressing kisses against your jaw.

“Don’t know how he didn't mark you, sweet girl. I'd be sinking my jaws into you the moment you’re under me,” he mumbled, his teeth nipping against your neck in emphasis. You moaned quietly, making him smile. He pressed one last kiss against your neck, setting you back down on wobbly feet. “Don’t look at me like that, pup. We’re in public,” he reprimanded playfully, handing you back Vernie’s leash. “Besides I’m not done playing hard to get,” he chuckled. Your phone buzzed in your pocket making you jolt. You pulled it out, seeing John’s number, pressing the red button before you really thought about it.

“The fuck was that?” he growled. “Call him back,” he urged. You quickly did as you were told, not quite sure why you had done that in the first place.

He answered immediately.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly.

“S’alright. Just figured you weren't in the mood to talk, pretty,” he cleared his throat. You wondered how much he had hurt in those seconds you denied his call. “Just wanted to let you know me and Kyle are where we’re supposed to be.” he explained.

“Good. Good,” you replied softly. You were quiet for a moment. “John, I love you. You know that right?” you breathed. You heard him inhale sharply on the other line, before clearing his throat again. You could feel yours constrict as well.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He breathed back. He needed that. He needed to know you weren't back home stewing at him. “I love you and I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“I’ll be waiting,” you responded, your eyes blurring at the tightness in his voice. “Bye.”

“Bye, pretty girl.”

You buried your face in Simon’s chest, wrapping your arms around him as you cried lowly. You wished John was back, so you could curl up in his arms again. You wished you hadn't given him the cold shoulder before he left. What if something happened while he was away and your last physical interaction was you worming your way out of a hug? His hug.

“Easy, pup,” Simon soothed. His hands smoothing over your back. He wanted to scold you for not answering the first time. He could only imagine how John was feeling after being shipped away while not on the best terms with you. It was hard enough when you were on good terms. “Need a cigarette?” Simon questioned making you chuckle after your crying had slowed. You shook your head softly. He kept an arm around you, beginning the trek back home. “Don’t worry about it, pup. You've got a lot on your mind. Sometimes people do things without meaning harmful intent,” he soothed. You caught the double meaning of his words, and you pressed yourself closer.

“Simon. What would happen if something were to happen to you out there and you couldn't be sent back to base?”

He sucked in air through his teeth.

“Well we would get to the safest spot we could and try to be fixed up enough to be sent back here,” he explained.

“What if you couldn't though? Be sent back here?” you pressed.

“What would you want to happen?” he questioned. He didn't want to put ideas out there you weren't comfortable with. The easiest way to get the answer you wanted was by making you say it yourself.

“I’d want to be sent to where you were. No matter where it is or how dangerous it is. I'd want to be with you,” you nearly demanded.

“That's why you were paired with us, pup,” Simon smirked. “You’re just as brave and stupid as the rest of us.”

Hi friends! See you in three days for chapter 26! 🧡

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picturejasper20 · 4 months ago

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So the ¨Best of Luck¨ has quite a lot of going on and could have worked better as second part episode but it still shows well the aftermath of the Operation Birthday Takeback with Dev lashing out and blaming Hazel for ¨stealing¨ his father's attention from him.

We see that Dev went back to his own self and he seems to be kinda worse than he was at the start of the season. He demands for Peri to grant wishes that could ruin Hazel's day or make him win the paper-rock tournament. Peri tries explaining to Dev that he can't do that because of the rules. The two get angry with each other, making Peri go away to i assume would be Fairy World.

On a side comment i was surprised to see Peri still with Dev after this episode after the ending from the last one? I guess it is because Peri is still Dev's godparent, making Peri stay with him. However, we still see that there is a lot of tension between them and they have a fight, so their argument in previous episode still carries weight on here.

While Peri is away, Irep (Peri's anti-fairy) takes the opportunity to become Dev's godparent. Irep thinks that Peri quit being the kid's godparent and takes advantage of Dev's desire to break the rules and his hatred for Hazel to bring chaos on the school.

Dev asks Irep to be let him into the rock-paper competition again and bring bad luck to Hazel. The rest of the episode is about Hazel dealing with all this bad luck and finding a way to counterattack it, all the time without knowing it was happening because of Dev.

Dev manages to win the tournament and tries rubbing it on Hazel's face, only to get praised by Hazel. He gets angry at seeing that he couldn't make Hazel miserable as he wanted and ends up revealing that he has been working with Irep to cheat in the competition and give her bad luck.

Dev asks for Irep to grant him more ¨illegal¨ wishes. Cosmo and Wanda have a magic duel against Irep, causing chaos all over the school's entrance. Around a minute later Jorgen shows up with Peri and reveals that Peri didn't quit and he was in fact taking a break from Dev.

Jorgen undos all the wishes that Irep granted and throws Irep back into the anti-fairy world. Everything returns to normal and Peri is still Dev's godparent. Based on a line from Peri, it seems that Peri was aware that Irep could take advantage of him being missing and he decided to keep an eye on Dev because of this. It is strange why he didn't show up sooner if that was the case. Maybe he didn't check on Dev until some time later when the real chaos started? I don't know.

Near the end of the episode Hazel tries talking to Dev to see what his problem is, in response Dev pushes her away and insults her, making Hazel get angry at him in return and probably cutting him off for the moment. You can see that there is a moment that Dev appears to hesitate when Hazel is talking to him only to go back to his cold self. I think he was likely believing that Hazel was ¨faking¨ being nice to him + still feeling upset for Dale paying more attention to Hazel. He still doesn't Dale doesn't care about him and prefers lashing out and blaming Hazel or the fairies for it.

The episode ends with him leaving and asking his machines to search more information about the anti-fairies, setting up for future plot threats of him teaming up with Irep again or other anti-fairies.

In Best of Luck we see Dev falling into a more antagonistic-villain path, with Irep taking advantage of his anger and desire to break the rules. He is really out to make Hazel miserable- both for believing she ¨faked¨ their friendship all this time and Dale not paying him attention. It could be seen as him trying to make Hazel miserable as she ¨made¨ him feel in Operation Birthday Takeback. From Hazel's part, she tried reasoning with Dev like she did back in the museum episode but Dev is too upset to consider talking to her. Hazel is probably going to have a similar feeling of anger against Dev in the upcoming episodes, unless they are somehow able to talk things through.

#fairly oddparents #fop a new wish #dev dimmadome #peri fairly oddparents #hazel wells #Irep fairly oddparents

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ofpd · 6 days ago

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1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator

🐮 barkamtza

why does this shit always happen to me

#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later

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📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas

Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/

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🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏺neronero

off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹

🏺neronero

nvm guys. ✡️✡️

🏛 vespasian

my turn lol

53 notes

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport reblogged

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

fuck

7,235 notes

⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.

anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.

#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse

231 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael

did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo

#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.

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📚 stammaim reblogged

stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102

ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...

stopbeingpoor

ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something

stopbeingpoor

EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die

stopbeingpoor

gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-

📚 stammaim

lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!

#yehezkel #marta b. baitos

162 notes

🕎 yalla-hapoel

🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:

Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.

are you fr.

#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear

28 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged

📖 ben-zakkai

⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol

🛡 goel-yisrael

? what does this mean

🗡 abbasikkara

dw about it bestie

🛡 goel-yisrael

ok 💗 yay 💗

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👩🏽‍🌾 discoursedumpblog

I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.

152 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏛 vespasian

some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him

🏛 vespasian

AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎

📖 ben-zakkai

omg just came across this old post

🏛 vespasian

OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏

14 notes

🫒 a-simple-yid

yirmiyahu tzadak...

#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.

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#this doesnt make sense in terms of timeline of course. esp bc i mention the stammaim. but it's ok #long post #jumblr #txt #this is all entirely gemara-based tbc. gittin 55b–56b #you all better appreciate the effort that went into this

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uranometrias · 6 months ago

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✮ꜜ : ❛ now i see daylight : spencer reid x fem! reader

pairing: spencer reid x fem! reader

summary: three weeks have gone by since your last encounter with reid. you'd both been doing an exceptional job of pretending that the other didn't exist. you felt like it was only fair. he didn't have the right to talk to you any type of way, and you supposed in his mind, you didn't have the right to behave so jealously. three weeks of no ground being made, that is, of course, until a conversation with rossi helps to screw your head on straight

content warnings: love confessions. reader definitely has anxiety and a fear of romance/relationships, BUT she fights her fear! i also think it's fair to say that she views telling spencer about her feelings as facing her fear, regardless of his response! this is part two to 'guilt is a motherfucker'.... i'm so sorry it's taken forever, but i've actually preparing to enlist in the army && haven't had a lot of down time. i've got 10 drafts to prove it, but i tried my best to make this longer than part one, and i hope that you guys enjoy it.

Grow up.

Those words had haunted you for about three weeks. It'd been that long since the day you and Spencer had sort of... drifted apart. You refused to blame yourself, despite knowing full well this whole ordeal was majorly your fault. Okay, all of the blame very well rested on your shoulders, but you were stubborn. You'd been that way forever.

Maybe you were the childish, scared, and jealous little girl he'd accused you of being. That wasn't your job to figure out, because he had no business speaking to you that way. Who did he think he was? You could hit him right in his stupid little face. That last thought of violence seems to follow you.

Especially as you sat as your desk, leg bouncing furiously underneath as you counted the seconds until he was away from the kitchenette. Your cup of coffee was dwindling, and you still had a few more files to get through, before you'd give yourself room to slack off. You needed more caffeine, but the newfound thorn in your side was taking up space, using up all the sugar as he made his third cup of the day.

A more mature person might have questioned why you didn't just go up there anyway. He didn't own the kitchenette, and it wasn't like you had to say anything at all. It was meant to be cut-and-dry, you were both mature adults, you could interact as such. Except neither of you were quite as mature as you affronted. You could just picture the screwed up expression he'd offer you if you chose to approach.

You were certain your face was already twisted up, showing off your own annoyance, and he wasn't even near you.

You'd been berated by Derek, Emily, and Penelope over your petty streak, all three parties really driving in the point that you were behaving like a toddler throwing a tantrum. They had a point, but you also refused to accept any such criticism about your behavior. Partly, because you hated correction, and you didn't want to think about the possibility that all of your friends were on his side.

But you think most of your refusal to accept your part from any of them had a lot to do with the fact that they weren't the ones who'd been so callously humiliated, and they weren't the ones with feelings for someone who obviously knew, and was perfectly content flaunting such knowledge right in your face.

God, you could punt him like a football.

You needed to work on your insult creativity, these were starting to get repetitive. You shake all thoughts of assault out of your mind as Dave begins to approach your desk. Rossi wasn't stupid, he like everyone else had noticed the significant decline in attention passed between you, and Reid. But unlike the rowdier members of the team, he and JJ had elected to go the route of silent but deadly.

They'd cast the both of you disapproving looks when in rare form you'd allowed your spat to affect your job. Their clear disappointment in you exceptionally loud. Times like those were sparce, you really only ever objected obedience when Hotch insisted on partnering the both of you up. Which had luckily become much more rare in the last few weeks.

"Still pouting, angioletto?" he asks, and his ability to read right through you seems to make your pout deepen. "It's been three weeks, don't you think it's time to talk about it or move on?" he questions, and there's no judgement there. It's what you like the most about Rossi, he seemed to have fallen into the role of paternal figure incredibly well. He gave you the tough love that you often needed.

But he never disrespected your boundaries, he never went too far. He'd always say just enough to nudge you in the right direction.

"Maybe." you agree, and it's true. You know it's time to put this situation behind you in one way or another, but you refused to cave first. You didn't want to give Spencer the satisfaction of it, and once again you're made aware of just how petty you really were. "But I don't want to." you voice this thought to Dave, who offers an unamused expression. You narrow your eyes in his direction.

"He's the one that started it..." you exclaim your side for the umpteenth time. Rossi's expression doesn't morph, but there is a bit of disappointment swimming in his eyes. It makes you avert your gaze quickly, you could feel the first pinpricks of guilt slicing at you. "It's true." you insist. Rossi waves a tired hand at you, ushering you to proceed, and you find yourself grateful for the chance to vent.

Everyone else knew too much about the behind the scenes to let you get a word in edgewise. Rossi was basically a clean slate. "If he knew all along, what he thinks he knows..." you stop long enough to look towards the kitchenette. He's still there, which is a relief, you'd be pissed if somehow he managed to overhear this. "Then why would he come over here and flaunt it. Was he trying to rub it in?" you demand.

Silly you for thinking that Rossi would be any less on your ass than the rest of the team. He was David Rossi after all, one of the founders of the BAU, a smart man that could read you like a picture book. "You finished?" he asks, and your mouth parts. You weren't finished, but you don't tell him that, he looked like he was ready to lecture. You offer a curt nod, and he hums under his breath.

"What exactly were you expecting from him, Y/N?" he asks, and you blanche. You weren't expecting anything, you'd never expected anything from Spencer. "I mean just stick with me here... put yourself in his shoes for one second." he prompts, and you huff. Those were big shoes, probably uncomfortable. Still, you play along as you wait for Rossi to proceed. "Would you wait around for two years for someone to finally realize that they want to be with you?" he asks.

You hope that it's rhetorical, because the answer for you was probably a lot different than the one he was expecting. You also feel the urge to correct him, you didn't take two years to figure out you liked him, you'd known since your first day. Your issue was verbalizing it, because you cared about your bond. Spencer was nice, he was the sweetest person you'd ever met. You liked seeing him get excited about the things no one else seemed to care about. He was different.

He was your friend, and you had always admired him.

"I wasn't making him wait..." you voice the correction. "And I didn't need time to realize anything..." you trail off, and realization seems to set in for Rossi. He sighs deeply, head shaking as you continue on your tangent. "I liked him back when all the girls in the unit still looked at him like he was some freak, and I'm not saying it entitles me to anything... I'm the dummy for being a chicken, but he didn't have to be so mean." and you're certain that's the root of it all.

Your feelings were hurt.

"Ah, well haven't you heard? Boys are quite stupid." Rossi offers, and you think he only said it to get you to laugh. It works, because you do chuckle, and it makes Dave's shoulders relax just slightly. "Talk to him, Y/N." he presses, and you find yourself looking across the bullpen. "It's the right thing to do." and you know he's right. "And who knows, it might even wind up being for the best." he offers, and you blanch. You nod your head, and Rossi beams proudly.

"You're right." you agree audibly, and you're fidgeting in your chair.

"You are coming this Friday aren't you?" Rossi pries, and you've gone nonverbal, head nodding once more as he mimics your action. "See if you guys can't get this squared away before then, won't you?" he asks, and he's leaving you with a gentle pat on the shoulder. You stare after Rossi with a mixture of disdain and appreciation. Leave it to the old man to get you off your ass. Your eyes are drawn to Spencer as he draws closer, you know he's not coming to you.

It was a byproduct of your desk location, but it wouldn't hurt to use it to your advantage. When he's within earshot, you take the first step. "Spence?" you try, and you expect him to ignore you, to keep walking like the sassy bastard that he is, but he shocks you. He seems to mirror your feelings with his own surprised expression. "Can we talk?" you try, and it's the cliche thing... but you don't have it in you to be poetic. He stops abruptly, head nodding stiffly as he does so.

You feel like you need to stand up, having him stand over you feels too much like you're being cornered or something of the sort. He takes a small step back when you do so though, and the tension seems to only grow tenfold. You mask your disappointment in his retreat easily, instead standing up a bit straighter, sticking your chin out as you prepare to bite the bullet and be the bigger woman. It was utterly humiliating having to bring yourself back to Earth like this.

"Sure." he finally verbally answers your question, you take that as a cue to get on with it. Your patience for back and forth seemed almost as thin as his.

"Maybe it's three weeks too late..." you begin, and his eyebrows furrow. "And I know we've got this new rhythm of pretending we don't exist to each other," and his face betrays how wrong he finds that statement. His face pinches up like he's smelled something bad, and he wants to remind you that the only reason you hadn't spoken was because you hadn't had the guts to own up to the fact that you had feelings for him, but he digresses. He wasn't here to pick a fight.

"But, I'm sorry...." you spit the apology out and it feels hollow. You know you have to do better, so you proceed before he can shoot you a disapproving glance. "I really am." you insist, and despite the fact that you had only just begun to feel guilty about the whole thing in the last few minutes, you meant it. "I never should've acted like that, and I never should have let this go on for so long." you express.

Across the bullpen, Rossi, Penelope, Derek, and Emily are huddled up watching the exchange, not so discreetly. You're none the wiser to your growing audience, but Spencer sees them clearly. Not that they were really aiming for subtlety. "It's not my business what you do outside of work or who you do it with." and your nose curls, mostly because you want it to be your business. You want to be valid in your aggravation, more than that you wanted to be his. How annoying.

Your leg starts to shake just barely, and you look like you'll crumble to the ground at any moment. Spencer notices all of these ticks, and stores them into the part of his brain that's full of things specific to you. "So I'm sorry that I was being a jerk." you offer, and Spencer's face doesn't show any signs of whether or not he believed you, so you continue. "I'm happy for you." you clear your throat, and feel embarrassment setting in.

"Thanks, Y/N." his head tips to the right as he appraises you, his eyes narrowing slightly as he takes you in. It's not a menacing sort of glance. He seemed to be waiting for something else, you weren't sure what more could be put into your apology, there was no way you were about to give an outright confession, that'd be humiliating. Instead, you avert your gaze, and it seems to be enough of an answer to whatever internal question he had. "That actually means a lot."

You don't smile, mostly because you're not sure what the actually means, he seems to notice the way your expression changes just slightly, and he's quick to correct himself.

"I just mean that your approval does mean a lot to me." he says, and you relax. You can't quite beam, you're still not up for it, but you offer a small smile, one that could count more as a grimace than anything else, but you weren't in the headspace to monitor your facial expressions. You were growing bothered all over again, and you had to do everything in your power to ensure that this time things didn't end with another three-week break between you and Spencer.

"Really?"

Spencer's nose curls now, he's an expressive guy. His facials said a lot more than his words could at times, and you note that this particular expressions reads somewhere between confused and surprised. Those were almost synonyms in the grand scheme of things, right? "Is that a real question?" Spencer asks, and despite the tension that hung over you at the start of the conversation, with this question you witness the way his guard drops. It was liberating in a way.

"I asked it didn't I?" you quip, but there's no real bite behind your words. Spencer seems to note this, lips pressing together firmly.

"You're important to me." he promises, and you hate that his first reaction is to validate you. Your anxiety-riddled mind would convince you that he secretly thought you were fishing for praise, which was the farthest thing from the truth. Still, you love Spencer, platonically and otherwise, and you're certain that's why you're mimicking his words back to him so quickly.

"You're important to me too."

He takes a second to stare at you, and you stare right back. You're careful not to show any signs of timidity or awkwardness, things were finally starting to look up. "I..." he begins, and you stay silent to allow him the time he needs to get whatever was on his chest off. "I'm sorry." he says, and you're surprised. It was the last thing you'd expected from this conversation, you're certain your surprise is evident plain as day on your face.

"Yeah?" you feel it's only fair to press him onward.

"Jealous little girl." he cringes as he repeats it, and you wince because it still hurts. "That was-" he shakes his head. "It was out of line. Plain and simple, I guess I was just a little frustrated, but that's not your fault. It wasn't fair of me to come at you in that way." he begins to ramble. "I wouldn't want you to feel... mocked or belittled by me." and you blink. Mostly because that was exactly how you had felt, but how did he know. It's then that you finally feel the beady-eyed stares.

You look over your shoulder just in time to witness the group dispersing, Penelope grasping a file in her hand as she scurried in the opposite direction. Derek picking up a file folder, and Emily focusing all her attention on the drink sloshing around her mug. You really hate profilers, this is the loudest thought in your head as you turn back to Spencer. "It doesn't matter if I felt justified then, or even if I feel justified about it now." and it makes you snort.

Classic Spence.

"D-Do you forgive me? Are we okay?" he asks, and his voice has grown a bit fainter. If you listen hard enough you hear the echoes of the Spencer you first met. Even with all his strides, and the confidence he gained, there was still that small part of him that felt like the nerdy boy that everyone overlooked. The one that talked too much, and was constantly silenced with looks or snide remarks whenever he rambled for too long about some niche subject.

You think this train of thought is what gets you to see Rossi's point of view. And who were you to get in the way of someone who clearly was ready for someone as amazing as Spencer. You didn't know much about the woman, aside from the fact that she was constantly making coffee, and staring at Spencer. You didn't know how long she'd worked at the bureau, you didn't even know her name, but you knew that she was brave. She knew what she wanted and got it.

Unlike you.

You suppose 'snooze you lose' is your burden to carry from this ordeal. At least you'd gotten your friend back though. And that was enough, it could be anyway. You nod your head at his question, offering a half smile. "We're okay, Spence." you promise, and he seems relieved. His smile is one of those rare ones, the gorgeous kind that Spencer reserved for special occasions. He then visibly and audibly lets out a quiet sound of relief, and it makes you relax.

"Hey, Spence, can I get your help?" JJ is calling, and your pulled from your bubble. The world is still spinning, there's still work to do, pressing matters that needed your attention. You felt a little lighter, offering another half smile as he offers you a sheepish glance. He's heading towards JJ as you sit back down at your desk. Your leg bounces despite the perceived 'win'. It only takes you a moment to wonder why, reality sets in, and you realize your shortcomings.

You'd failed the test twice.

Twice you'd had the chance to be the most open and honest with Spencer, only to let your nerves or fear of rejection get in the way. The jealousy is gone now though, instead replaced with a brief feeling of self-aggravation. You hear Dave's stern voice in your head. 'Talk to him, Y/N.' and you frown. Hadn't that been what you'd done? You'd talked to him, so why did you still feel so bummed.

Why don't you just talk to the guy? Look him in the eye and tell him straight up how you're feeling? Derek's question from three weeks prior slaps you like a ton of bricks. You supposed that was the end goal, wasn't it? The only way to relieve yourself of all this anxiety and all the big feelings you were having a hard time digesting. You're back to pouting, mostly because you've got no idea where to start.

You pick up one of your files, and flip it open, hoping to bury yourself in work. Every time your mind tried to stray to Spencer or your feelings, you'd switch files, until all twenty-five on your desk had a dent in them. Your hand was cramped, and you know that soon enough you'll need a cup of coffee. Emily approaches your desk, hands centered as she leans forward, eyes right on you.

"So how did it go?" she asks, and you cut your eyes at her. "Tension's all gone, so it must have gone well, right?" she's grinning down at you. "I told you if you told him the truth, you'd have nothing to worry about." Emily proceeds, and you're shaking your head back and forth.

"Emily... Emily, no!" you exclaim, and her smile drops.

"No? What do you mean, no?" she demands as you exhale.

"I still haven't told him, and I'd really appreciate it, if you'd lower your voice." you hiss as she pouts. "Maybe it's just not supposed to be." you shrug, and Emily looks visibly disgruntled with your thoughts. "I'm just saying... we're okay, because we apologized." you explain. "I don't want to risk making it awkward again, because I think I have feelings." and now you're being purposely dismissive.

"Oh, so now you're not sure?" Emily questions, and then she's clicking her tongue against her teeth. "No. I don't buy that." she denies, and she's stern, but discrete. "Don't do this, Y/N. Don't be that girl." she pleads. "There's nothing worse than regret. It eats at you until there's nothing left, you don't want to look back, and think 'what if!'" and that's twice you're hearing something of the sort. Wasn't there some quote about hearing important things twice? You're not sure.

"If you like him-" she pauses, head still shaking from side to side. "If you love him... like it seems, you owe it to yourself to tell him. What's the worst thing that could happen?" she questions, and you scoff. "No, realistically." she insists. "Realistically tell me what the worst thing could be? And not from that place where your irrational fears sit." she deadpans, and you feel attacked, it makes you look away.

"In the two years of you knowing Reid, do you actually think that he's the kind of guy to break you down to nothing if he doesn't feel the same?" she asks, and the answer when presented to you like this is no. "So tell me what it is that you're really scared of?" she presses, and you don't understand why everyone's so worked up over this. Why the whole unit seemed to be invested in you expressing your feelings.

"I don't want to mess it up..." you shrug your shoulders. "I don't want to make it weird." you offer, and Emily's unmoved by your answer.

"You managed to do that without saying a thing." she retorts, and you feel like you've got no room to speak, no voice to rebuttal with. "Let me be your shrink for a second." Emily is your friend for moments like these, where her clear allegiance to you shines through. "Talk to me." she prompts.

"Why are you so invested in this?" you inquire. "Why does it even matter?" you huff.

"Because it matters to you." she answers. "What? You didn't know that's how this team works?" she asks, and you huff out a puff of air through your nose. "This isn't about us playing matchmaker... it's about you realizing that you've got a few bad beliefs about romance... and friendships.... and relationships that are going to keep you all by yourself if you don't start speaking your mind." she shrugs.

"And despite the way you curl into yourself back here at your desk, we both know you don't really want to be alone." and you think you might cry, it makes you wince. "You owe it to yourself to try, but ultimately the decision is all yours. I just think you'll feel better if you take Reid aside, and tell him the truth about how you feel." she seems done, and you don't know how to respond. Emily pats your shoulder as she rounds your desk, before heading back across the unit.

You really hate profilers.

By the time you're heading home for the night, you and Spencer hadn't spoken again. You'd been so buried in work that you'd skipped lunch to get things done. You'd gotten a comment from Hotch about that, wondering if you were feeling alright. You knew that he knew the truth, even as you told him a fib. Hotch though, was discrete enough not to make you feel scrutinized by exposing just how obvious you were. You couldn't get Emily's words out of your head.

You didn't feel angry with her, and your embarrassment had managed to go away within the first forty minutes after she'd left you alone. You knew she was right, but it still didn't make things easier. It was almost like you forgot how to speak whenever the time came to really express yourself. You supposed that was why your apology had been so flat. Feelings weren't your strong suit, and you'd learned to express them by lashing out. A less than healthy way to live.

You liked that the team didn't speak to you like a child or treat you like you were incapable. Instead, they talked to you like an adult, gave the truth to you in a way that sliced through all your stubbornness and attitude. As you head towards the elevator, you hear footsteps, and look just in time to see Spencer making his way towards you. His satchel hangs off his shoulder, and he looks relieved, an emotion that you knew all too well by the end of a work shift.

You hoped there wouldn't be any cases that drug you back to the unit, all you wanted was a shower and a nap in your own bed.

Stepping into the elevator, Spencer trails you. He takes one side of the elevator, while you huddle up in the other. He offers you a tired smile as the doors slide closed, you offer him a smile right back. It's weary, mostly because you were drained, but partly, because Spencer had been the object of your thoughts the entire day. Especially after Emily's blunt speech. You were drained. The anxiety of keeping the secret far outweighed any fear of rejection now.

"Hey, are you alright?" he addresses you, after noticing the way you seemed lost in your head.

"Hmm?" you hum, and he repeats himself. It snaps you out of your mind spiral, and your head nods. A lie. "I'm all good, Spence." you reply, and he looks disappointed, but not surprised. "Thanks for asking though." you add a second after, and he offers you a dry little nod of his head. The elevator is back silent, and you hope the doors open quick. You might drown if the tension grew any thicker.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." he says, and you blank. Your confusion is clear as day on your face. "Earlier..." and your still not understanding. "I wasn't telling you that you were important to me, because I was expecting anything in return." he explains, and it clicks. "If it made you feel weird, I'm sorry. It just felt like the right way to express my point then." he proceeds, and you don't know how to collect yourself. "So, I'm sorry." and you want to scream.

Mostly at yourself for being so infuriatingly inadequate at expressing your thoughts and feelings.

"If you want, we could just pretend I never said anything?" he offers, and you don't answer quick enough. The elevator slides open just as the words are settling inside your head, and he's stepping out into the parking deck without another word. You sit there in the elevator for a moment, the door sliding shut after a moment, but you don't move. You feel like you're at a crossroads, almost at a point of no return. If you let Spencer leave now... like this, there would be no coming back.

There would be no room to gain some balls later, and try again. It wouldn't be fair to him. It wouldn't be fair to yourself.

You feel like hyperventilating, thoughts everywhere. Love had never been a subject you really understood. You'd always sort of saw it as this concrete construct. Unchangeable, always either black or white. A gloomy, gray, existence that could cut you up and spit you out. Love could turn you into a hollow version of who you once were. Love could break you down, and make you nothing. But then you think of your team. JJ and Penelope, Hotch, Dave, Emily, Derek. Spencer.

They were the rarest and purest examples of love in your day-to-day life, weren't they? You'd never quite met anyone who had your back more than your team. They fought for you, they fought with you. They believed in you, pushed you to be the best you that you could be. So why was it so hard, what were you scared of? Was it the notion of getting Spencer, and staining him? Blowing out that light inside him the way you'd witnessed for so long?

Was that a life worth living? Was it a chance you could take?

And then you huff, because damnit... you were tired of waiting. You were tired of anxiety, and uncertainty, and insecurity, and pain. You're certain that is why you hit the button to open the elevator. Gracefulness is not on your side as you practically sprint out into the car park, your eyes scanning hopefully for the familiar silhouette of your friend. When you spot him, you release a quiet noise of relief. "S-Spencer!" you hear the echo from your shout, and cringe.

But it doesn't matter, because he turns, he stops, and he's looking at you. His eyebrows are raised, hands gripping his bag, as you start to run. You ignore your fatigue, and your desire to run and hide, and instead run towards something for once. You don't stop running until you're past the point of 'personal space', you want to hover, you want to be in his space, because it was the only way you could possibly get through this. He looks a bit unsure, and still a bit grumpy.

You hope by the end of this that's no longer the case.

"Spencer, I don't want to forget about what you said." you're trying to catch your breath, bouncing up on your heels. "I don't want to pretend you never said it." you add, and Spencer's surprised expression has the hairs on your arm and neck ready to stand on end. "I-I actually want to know what you meant." you admit. "Because, I know what I meant when I said it... and it's not something that I take back." you express, and you can hear blood rushing in your ears.

"What did you mean?" Spencer asks, and you blanche.

"I asked you first." the obvious retort, and Spencer exhales loudly, but there's no annoyance, no exasperation. Only amusement, like always.

"I've done enough talking, haven't I?" he asks. "I want to know what you're thinking." and his voice is so soft, full of tenderness that you feel like you're being serenaded. You feel like you've got a knot in your throat also, almost like you'll suffocate if you don't get your thoughts out. "I promise I won't leave you hanging." and you're not sure what he means by that, but it helps. It makes your heart stutter-step, and you need to catch your breath, because you can't believe this is actually happening, or that you're actually here.

"I-" you play withy your fingers, and you have to inhale deeply to ensure you don't chicken out. "Spence, I didn't tell you that you were important to me, because you said it first." you promise, and he nods, but he doesn't say anything. His eyes are syrupy, alluring, and beautiful, still twinkling under the dingy, flickering lights of the parking deck. "I said it because you're all I really think about." you admit, and his eyebrows furrow, and you're scared.

"And the last three weeks... I've been so mad at you." you blurt out. "I was the one that acted like a child, but I was angry with you, because I thought that you were making fun of me... and all the feelings I have for you." you exhale, and you look down at the ground, because the nerves that come with your words are overwhelming. "I was jealous, I acted like a child, but it was only because I thought you were rubbing it in my face... I thought you were being cruel."

Spencer's long lashes blink rapidly, but he's still stone silent. Probably because he knows that you're still not done. "And that wasn't fair of me, because I know you, Spence. You're not that type of person, but I just I couldn't reign myself in, and I acted immaturely because I was scared... and then just now, in the elevator... I almost did it again. I almost let you think that I don't care about you... but I do. Spencer, I have feelings for you." and you clear your throat, legs shaking.

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not... this isn't some trick or ploy or cry for help. I understand if you're mind is elsewhere... and I'm so sorry if the way I've been acting ruined everything, but I-I love you okay? That's what this has all been about. I'm sorry it took me so long to say something, but there it is." and you gasp, chest heaving now that you were finished. You finally look up at Spencer again, and he's staring you down. It doesn't feel hypersexual or heady with tension.

Instead, it's like the first intake of air into your lungs after being under water for so long. You supposed that's what the truth did, you supposed that's what your feelings for Spencer did when you allowed them to exist. "You mean that?" he asks, and you huff.

"Of course, I mean it. I mean it so much, I think I'm going to be sick." and despite himself he laughs, a bright beam following after it. He takes a small step towards you, and you feel crowded, the body heat from you both warming you up from the inside out. Still, despite how outwardly calm he looked in comparison to you, you managed to spot the shyness, the anxiety that rested in his own eyes. He looked unsure, almost like he was being careful not to ruin the moment.

"Do you know how long I've been wanting to hear you say that?" he asks, and you're shocked, stuck, surprised. You don't know if this is in your mind or if you just got lucky. "Have you ever-" he's got this gleeful look on his face. "There's this quote by Lao Tzu..." he stammers, "Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses." he quotes, and there are no butterflies... you think that might be a good thing.

"I don't know if there's been a time since I met you that you haven't been on my mind." Spencer explains, and there it is. "I think that's why I snapped the way I did, I don't think I ever imagined a scenario where we'd be here." he admits, and it pains you to know that he thought that way. "It was-" he motions between you both. "The thought of us being something was sort of just something I believed would always sort of just be a thought." Spencer's glowing red.

The blush coats his ears, cheeks, nose, and neck. His eyes are brighter, and his hands twitch at his side, almost like he's restraining himself. You think you only notice, because you're doing the same.

"I want to be with you." he says this so faintly you're almost unsure you heard him correctly. Your eyes widen, and your surprise is obvious. He takes a small step forward, and he's crowding you. It's nothing like the movies, in fact, the closer he gets to you, the more you're able to see the shyness in his eyes. He reaches out, and his hand ghosts over your side.

"Spence-" and the you that you were just an hour earlier, the one too scared to tell him the truth almost feels like she never even existed.

"Can I?" he asks, and your eyes drift to his hands that are inching closer to your body. You nod your head quickly, and he doesn't look amused. "I want to hear you." he says quietly. "I want you to tell me that I can." he adds, and you find yourself nodding anyway.

"Y-You can." you promise. "But I don't want you to pretend." his eyebrows furrow again. "Please don't do this if you don't mean it." you say, and Spencer's hands drop to your side, there's no wandering fingers, in fact it feels like he wanted to touch you for the sole purpose of keeping you from shaking any longer.

"Y/N, I want to be with you." he repeats it more firmly this time, and he's looking directly at you. It's intense, the eye contact more than anything else. He sounds sincere, and that makes you nervous.

"But what about..." and you trail off, because you don't know what to label the pretty woman he'd been entertaining. Spencer chuckles quietly, and his head shakes from side to side.

"She was nice." he reiterates the words he'd said three weeks prior. "But, she's not you... I don't think anyone would've been able to fill your shoes." he says, and you squeeze your eyes closed, because God, Spencer was so good with words. His hands are on your face, brushing at your cheeks as you shed a few long overdue tears. "Are these happy tears?" he asks hopefully, and your eyes shoot open. Your head nods, and you're not sure why you're so quiet.

Maybe, because life had thrown a curveball and surprised you in a good way. "Happy tears." you agree, and he presses his lips together, thumbs still working to keep the tears at bay. "I just can't believe-"

"Please do." he cuts you off, before you can get it out. "Believe this, believe me." he almost begs, and you hum. "Can I kiss you?" he asks, and you don't answer him, instead you surge forward and press your lips to his. You're certain security is getting a full view of the action, Spencer kisses like he wants to inhale you, and it's nice.. It's more than nice, his kisses are surged with emotion, every ounce of affection that his words had been drenched in was felt in the kiss.

Had breathing not been a factor, you might have stayed there. When you pull back to inhale, Spencer's got this twinkle in his eye that makes your nose scrunch up. "What?" you press, and he grins at you.

"You love me..." he breathes it out, and you're not sure if he's stating it or asking, but you suppose now that the cat's out of the bag, saying it again is nothing.

"Yeah. I love you, Spence." you promise, and he's quick to lean in and peck you on the lips. "D'you love me too?" you ask, once he's pulled back, and his hands move up, cupping both sides of your face as he drags his thumbs up and down.

"I love you." and it sounds like a promise.

So you believe him.

"It’s a profoundly strange feeling, to stumble across someone whose desires are shaped so closely to your own, like reaching toward your reflection in a mirror and finding warm flesh under your fingertips. If you should ever be lucky enough to find that magical, fearful symmetry, I hope you’re brave enough to grab it with both hands and not let go.” ― Alix E. Harrow

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader smut

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justporo · 1 year ago

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Even more fluffy relationship headcanons for Astarion and Tav

Listen guys, I'm not done yet. For now, as soon as I get one idea out, three more pop up in my mind and since you guys seem to really like these (it's seriously and positively insane to me), I'll happily provide you more as long as I am able to. So, let's-a go: more headcanons and little ideas about them being together!

(I formerly used an reuploaded and stolen version of this gif here - I didn't check where it came from and that wasn't right - I'm sorry!)

You love when Astarion smiles at you - just openly and full of joy; the sort of smile you've rarely seen from him during your adventures but they keep getting more and more, also they make him look just so young and carefree and beautiful and your heart just... melts

When Astarion quickly notices how you basically faint whenever he does this, he starts employing it to work his charms on you when he needs it - not the real big and joyous smiles though because they are so real and cherished to him he wouldn't dare use it to tease or manipulate you - they're only reserved to make you happy

Charming you is like breathing to Astarion though, you are just so helpless against his flattery and flirting because why would you resist if you could just give him everything that makes him happy?

When you mention once though that you'd hope to gain some immunity to it some time, Astarion is insulted: "No, love, making you blush is my favourite thing in the world. You are so beautiful with your cheeks all flushed. As long as I have a say in it, we will never stop!"

Tav likes teasing him just as much as Astarion enjoys it the other the way around: "You know if you would stop drawing your brows together all the time, it'd take fifty years off your face immediately." Moments of silence in which Astarion is just utterly shocked by your burn, then: "Who taught you to be this brutal, darling?" You raise an eyebrow at him, he helplessly lifts his arms: "Yeah right, I have only myself to blame."

Also, Astarion and Tav are definitely the kind of power couple that throw each other meaningful sassy looks when they're with other people and those are talking shit or something

Also, afterwards they will most definitely discuss and gossip over everything they experienced

Astarion is definitely the kind of man that would shower Tav with gifts, from coming home with a single beautiful flower that "reminded me of you, my beautiful blossom" ("How cheesy..." "Ah, so rather a gouda next time?") or a nice bottle of wine to share to bigger gestures like jewelry or expensive dresses ("When am I ever gonna wear this, Astarion?" "I don't know, we'll just make an opportunity!")

Tav loves all of his gifts but probably the small ones or the hand-crafted ones the most, she's happy with the little things but Astarion insists she deserves the big ones just as much

One time though, Astarion comes home with something else entirely; it's pouring outside and he's completely drenched and hiding something in his doublet jacket; "What do you have there, Astarion, a wheel of cheese?" Astarion carefully opens up his jacket to reveal a small white kitten that is just as drenched as him and is desperately trying to cling to the vampire's chest. "I found her all alone in a dark alleyway, cold and completely soaked, I thought maybe we could take care of her and she could be friends with Scratch?", he says while he carefully lifts up the small ball of fluff with an incredible softness in his eyes. Your heart is thoroughly melting as you walk over to them and you give Astarion the most loving of kisses

Well, the last one would almost be a drabble on it's own, I saw a similar post that made me think of this (I will find and tag them later!) Hope you enjoyed and I'm late for work now, whoops...

This is the post I mentioned before, by @mushy6902 (I hope it's okay I wrote a somewhat similar idea, thanks for inspiring me!)

#astarion #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate #bg3 spoilers #astarion x mc #astarion x oc #astarion x reader #astarion headcanons #headcanons #fluff #domestic fluff #also kittens #poro headcanons

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kyu-piddy · 13 days ago

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Ranking (some more) twst love triangles on how messy they are

(This was for an ask that sadly got eaten by tumblr! )

Anon asked: I just wanna say I love your love triangle headcanons, but it got me thinking. Instead of two boys in the same dorm, what about if it was different dorms. For example, like Trey x reader x Azul, the two glasses boys.

So I was wondering if I could get part two of love triangles but with Trey x reader x Azul and or Leona x reader x Malleus

Please take your time, don't rush and Thank you 🙏

An: Thank you for your request anon. I might have gotten a ton of brainworms and just had to write this asap! Leona and Malleus are so interesting imo. They tickle a funny part of my brain that likes making characters suffer. I’d say they can be pretty challenging to write since they're so layered but it’s also soooo rewarding. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Gn reader x Leona, Malleus, Trey, Azul

Trigger warnings: Swearing

1.3k words

Leona vs Malleus

Ahaha, you’re in danger.

No, seriously, this love triangle is dangerous. You could quite literally start a war if this goes unchecked for long enough.

Here you have two princes that already have enough beef with each other to feed a small nation, now fighting over you.

Leona is, of course, emotionally constipated as usual. He’s not gonna try to seduce you with flowers or chocolates or anything of the sort. Instead, he’ll be strangely nice to you, like letting you nap on his usual spot in the greenhouse or offering you help in a specific subject he’s good at.

This is all done with a side dish of “Tsk. Don’t bother me, herbivore.”

But the man does want to be bothered by you. It will be a cold day in hell before he admits it though .

Malleus on the other hand, will be forthcoming about his intentions towards you.

“Isn’t it a lovely night, Tsunotarou? “

“I wish to court you, child of man.”

If Lilia hadn’t told him to slow down he’d just straight up confess to you at that moment.

From that point on you’re getting the whole Malleus attention package. He’s making flowers sprout from the ground when you pass by, making Sebek and Silver escort you everywhere, writing heartfelt letters that read as more terrifying than romantic (he’s trying, ok?).

Leona is not happy about this. He’s stomping those flowers, picking fights with Sebek and Silver and turning those letters into sand. It’s a declaration of war.

If you thought they were bitchy before, now they’re straight up assholes to each other.

All types of insults are on the table, from the bad to the ugly to the straight up vile.

They also have a tendency to physically get you away from the other. Your arms are gonna be so sore and bruised from all the yanking.

And they’re gonna blame the other for your bruises, and start a whole other fight about it.

Leona is getting Ruggie to take pictures of his moments with you to send to Malleus, but Malleus can't use a phone to save his life, so he isn’t really gonna be able to see it.

In the same vein, he does not know how to take pictures with his phone, so he’s going to write descriptive letters, full of flowery details of his encounters with you to send to Leona.

He might even hire someone to create an artistic rendition of the moment to accompany the letter.

Leona is just gonna tell Ruggie to throw it all in the garbage, but just the thought of what could possibly be in there is gonna irk him to high hell.

Everyone, and I mean everyone will know about this love triangle. Leona will frame it as more of a fight with Malleus, to prove he is better than the lizard, but anyone with eyes can see that it’s more than that.

Malleus on the other hand will tell everybody you’re the love of his life, his future spouse and that the date of the wedding is xx/xx/xxxx and everyone is invited.

Even their families will get involved. Neither of them is above inviting you to their homeland just to sightsee, and then you reach there and bam, everyone is calling you their partner, and saying how you make a great couple, while you’re trying to figure when did you even accept a relationship between you both.

You’re not getting a confession from Leona.

You’ll have to figure it out yourself and confront him about it. And the asshole, after all his mixed signals and talk of just doing it to piss off Malleus, will retort “Isn’t it obvious? I thought you’d be smarter than that, herbivore.”

Malleus isn’t too keen on a confession either, but it’s because he already considers you both a couple, and if you confront him about it he'll answer matter of factly “Are we not a couple soon to be wed, child of man?”.

Delulu is not the sululu, but for Malleus, it is.

Your decision is going to impact both of them really hard.

Choosing Malleus is more trauma for Leona’s always second best issues. He’s going to become extremely guarded around you, closing himself off to the world for a long while.

Choosing Leona is more trauma for Malleus’ always forgotten issues. Unlike Leona, who will immediately give up on you and fall into a depression pit, Malleus will get angry at the world and try so hard to bargain with you.

Choosing neither will still feed into these issues, creating more fuel to the cycles of self destruction that these two are stuck in.

If there was a rating higher than S tier, I’d put this love triangle there, but since there isn’t, I’ll give it an S.

Neither of these men should be getting into a relationship. They should be getting into therapy.

Trey vs Azul

Megane vs Megane

Now these two have a peculiar dynamic.

One is the dependable older brother of Heartslabyul while the other one is the scary loan man of Octavinelle with the two shady underlings.

You guess which one you’re more likely to feel safe around.

Azul thinks he is so slick, by finding out Trey's crush on you, but will be immensely taken aback once Trey makes it known that Azul’s crush isn’t exactly a secret either.

Zuzu will try so hard to find dirt on Trey, but Mr. Normal has the most boring secrets that not even an old lady would be scandalized by (at least that Azul can find).

Initially, he’d send Floyd and Jade to spy on Trey, but the eels are not to be trusted, especially with you around.

They’re the type to stop the spying just for funsies and start chatting with you, so Azul has to take matters into his own hands.

He’s peeking out from a window with binoculars if he has to, goddammit!

While Azul is making a fool of himself to woo you, Trey is quietly guiding you along the path to his heart.

He knows Azul will try to use his contracts to get a leg up on him, but neither you nor him are interested in owing something to Azul.

Even if one of the contracts captures your attention, Trey is throwing it out of the window so fast (metaphorically, ofc).

Seeing as contracts and spying on you doesn’t work, Azul is going to try to hit Trey where it hurts.

Feeding you, ofc.

Trey has his desserts, but Azul has the Mostro lounge and he did grow up in a restaurant, so he can cook decently.

He can’t offer you the food directly, so he leaves it to you as a secret admirer (he read about it in a book and though that it would add to his mystique and appeal as a suitor).

When Trey finds out about it, he’s going to start taking it away before you find it, feeding you with one of his pastries instead.

This basically leads to a cook-off, where Azul keeps leaving you more and more food while Trey also increasingly gives you more pastries to get you too full to eat anything else.

I see Azul confessing in a very romantic and by the book sort of way, that leaves you wondering if he followed some sort of guide to the T (he did).

Trey is not taking it lying down.

He is interrupting anything that Azul has planned and throwing hella shade his way, reminding you of how shady Azul can be.

Meanwhile Azul is about to call the twins to make Trey sleep with the fishes in the Lounge aquarium.

I put this love triangle in B tier.

Either way you choose, I don’t see either of them getting too mad.

Trey is pretty chill about it if you choose Azul or neither of them, while Azul might throw a small to medium tantrum if you choose Trey.

He has control issues he really needs to figure out, but seeing as the experience has made him respect Trey as more of an equal, it wouldn’t be as bad as if it was someone like your first year Heartslabyul friends.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #x reader #kyusbow #trey clover #azul ashengrotto #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar

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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 2 months ago

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It was another competion the entire family all shoving and pushing each other into the car to see more of Damian's art.

Tim is excited for Damian.

He knows what it's like, to stand there and have no one show up. To be there all by yourself for hours the only one to visit your booth being the art teacher.

Ms. Carrington who would ask questions and ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes before helping him pack everything up, sometimes even driving him home because of course neither his parents or Bruce could be bothered to pick him up.

He can't really help the envy that he can feel building in his chest mixing with a good chunk of repressed anger.

A elbow being jabbed into his ribs distracts him.

"Hey what's with the face? Perk up Boy-Loser it's Damian's night."

He turns to Steph the smile that he had been attempting to plaster on falling. It's such a stupid thing it's a nickname so what if it's demeaning, he gets called pretender or replacement by Jason what does it matter.

"Do you ever think it's kinda fucked up that not a single person in this family calls me anything that isn't an insult?" He snaps.

She looks shocked. How fucking dare he have an ounce of self esteem. Someone alert the Media Tim Drake isn't a dormat.

He turns away sliding into the crowd.

There's less then half an hour left before he can leave. Pratically throwing himself down in the empty hallway as far as he can get from this entire night.

"Baby bird and Timmy aren't insults? Or are they I can't seem to keep up with the kids these days."

He turns, of course. You might be able to run from Batman or lie to him, but you can never escape the grasp of Big Brother Nightwing.

"So your admitting that your old?" he joins the banter.

His muscles start to unclench another superpower only Dick Grayson seems to have.

"Never, something you want to talk about?"

Does he? No. Should he? Yah.

"Maybe I just don't want be insulted every day of my life. So weird who doesn't want to be reminded they suck?"

He can hear the whine, he can also hear that everything he just said isn't gonna matter. You don't take whiny little boys seriously. And that's what he is.

"Hmm you know I get called Dickhead or really a lot of just penis related jokes. Always hated them not that it really stops anyone."

He looks finally making eye contact with his big brother. Because he's right. How many times has he heard anyone in the family other than him and Damian call Dick anything nice. Never not once. Maybe Bruce but he can't really picture it.

"Also don't think I didn't notice how annoyed you are with Bruce about this entire night, which I don't blame you for. You know I love Damian kiddo, but yah Bruce is not winning a mug from me or you."

He doesn't really want to acknowledge any of that already exhausted and he will have to apologize to Steph and if he opens the box it will be a car ride from hell home.

"Luckily for you I have a car parked a block up we can escape get ice cream and have a nice sleepover in bludhaven."

He wants to so bad, he wants to throw himself at Dick who knows him so well, who followed him out here, who isn't blinking, the only adult who has ever not somehow fucked him over.

"What about Damian? He will be pissed at me for stealing you or something. He doesn't need another reason to stab me."

He turns to look back at the floor.

"Foolish Drake I will be coming with you Father is being insesently annoying and I much rather talk about art with someone who has a brain cell."

Both him and Dick whip around to see Damian standing there a slight blush on his face hesitation making the corner of mouth twitch. He sees Dick looking on unsure. He doesn't hesitate.

"Thank god I know a great place with that Vegan Cookie Dough you like. What you waiting for Big Bird? Let's go. "

Climbling to his feet he grabs Dick and Damian dragging them to the exit he hears Dick's confused muttering sharing a secret smile with Damian before ignoring it.

The night is finally looking up.

#Tim Dick and Damian are the best trio argue with the wall #Don't picture Damian who saw his favorite people leave and immediately was ready to book it also don't imagine Damian listening #working up the courage to try and go with them #but do imagine the other batfamily members looking very confused when they are all gone #tim drake #dick grayson #batfamily #jason todd #bruce wayne #damian wayne #I used Stephanie because in the comics she calls Tim like a lot of kinda iffy nicknames she is usually joking but I wanted to make a point #batfam #batman #dc

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pretzel-box · 3 months ago

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Headcanons for all current Sebastian Versions including

-Sunkissed! Sebastian

-Octoboy! Sebastian

-AASB! Sebastian

and Human!Sebastian

SUNKISSED

—Sebastian is married you after graduating from university. He was very into IT while you were the art and crafts person. You two met because Sebastian was your private tutor and soon eough you started dating during university.

—He has a small journal where he writes important memories in of you during his time in the Blackside, since he is scared that he will forget those someday.

—He is touch starved since you are a very clingy person, and now he misses your warm hugs and gentle headpats.

—Homecooked meal person. He is the one doing the cooking and he kept the habit as best as he could in the blackside.

—He is overall softer, he had a good life before Urbanshade and it's showing in his personality. Sometimes he has a small moment of rage before going all quiet and soft, crying alone in the dark and blaming himself for everything that has happened.

OCTOBOY

—Sebastian has many faded bite scars on his hands, they are barely visible but still existing. He has the habit of feeding you, but you aren't good at aiming with your mouth, biting him and not the treat he tries to give you.

—His Shop is not as stuffed as original. Most items are secure on his tail or on high shelves, knowing that you are a bit too curious. Sebastian will always watch out that you are only able to reach the stuff that you are supposed to reach.

—Sometimes he is awake at night to think of good stories or songs that he can use for your bedstory time. He doesn't know any from his childhood so he improvises by sugarcoating the entities. Ah yes, did you ever counted Wall Dwellers jumping over a fence when you had a sleepless night?

—Sebastian gained the skills of a mother when he got you. Cleaning, cooking and babysitting are next to his usual activities on the top of his list. And should he be busy with scavenging then he just drops you of at Sasha or Painter.

—He would never say it but you are his new motivation to get out, to give you a better life and showing you that there is more.

AS ABOVE SO BELOW

—Sebastian is cold, manipulative, agressive and a master when it comes to deceiving people. He will gaslight you into believing he is your alley, he will gain your trust and he can and will play the knight in shining armor without feeling even a bit attached to you.

—He is violent and rough. Once you are on his bad side, you turn into his personal stress toy. Getting thrown to the side, getting pulled by the hair or even hits and slaps. He has no mercy and once you start to cry or scream, he just gags you and throws you in a locker.

—Yandere. If he ever falls in love, he would be a yandere type of lover. Love will blind him since it replaces his rage. Don't be fooled, he will be the toxic kind of yandere, suffocating you with his controlling behaviour to keep you safe.

—He is the most evil version of them all, showing plenty of red flags. And yet, there is a small, very small glimpse of kindness in him. He wouldn't admit it, but he wouldn't kill without an actual reason. That's it.

—Sebastian has a hand, or three, for tinkering and building stuff. So he will most likely just put together a tracker and put it on people he has a close eye on. You included. He's a little stalker, isn't aware tho.

HUMAN

—He will hang around the shop because of you. You are his favorite person and he thinks you are beautiful even after Urbanshade experimented on you.

—He will sing when hes alone. He would literally go through a dark hallway while singing a Katy Perry song since he once read that singing reduced anxiety and boredom. Doesn't mean he is good at singing.

—Most normal of them all and the most basic. Not much trauma, but enough sass. He will either jokinly insult you or share cooking tips.

—He is good at art, so he will doodle when he has a safe moment and takes a break.

—He smokes. Or at least used to smoke. He had to stop when he got to the Blackside but he was still suprised when you told him you could smell it on him.

#sebastian solace #sebastian solace x reader #sebastian solace x you #sebastian solace fanfic #roblox pressure #pressure

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year ago

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Hello there sagau brain rot like in many sagau versions reader/creator are often to soft to kind to my taste and then Idea comes to my head what if creator reader shows his cruler uncaring side to the pepole he truly hates or thinks deserve thier wrath like I can image that in place of raiden shogun the creator kills Singniora after begin defeated by traveler, azar the grand sage after whole begin in that day loop, and scaramouche when he had audacity to think that by begin inside giant mech he is now a God becose even if the creator is the kindest begin in tevyat.....his wrath has no bounds

@zardas75 welcome back to my very dead mailbox LOL—Let me see what I can come up with with your brainrot.

I don't fully get the Raiden Shogun vs Signora part, so I'm going to (unfortunately) not include that in this post.

The Creator Being Moody Fr (Jkjk—Unless? 👀)

(Disclaimer: Might Be OOC & Spoilers to the Genshin Impact Archon Quest Lore!)

Boy oh boy...where to begin...

To put it simply: It's Azar's Fault. Blame and point your fingers to the rusty old man, bois, we ain't forgiving him any time soon. It all started with him.

The moment you saw him in the Archon Quest, you knew, without even needing the slightest hint of evidence, that you did not like him and he was sus.

And when things escalated throughout the Archon Quest, you swore so loudly it shook the entire nation of Sumeru, if not all of Teyvat.

Here were Some of the Sumeru People's Reactions:

Cyno

He finished his confrontation with Azar and was waiting outside when you swore like your life depended on it. During his entire time being under your presence, Cyno was aware of how much you hated the guy—every moment you had gotten, you were seething and spouting insults from your mouth about Azar.

Even the General Mahamatra was stunned and shocked to the very core. He didn't you could and would do this.

And when you made it clear that your tantrum was yet to end, Cyno just braced himself for the fate of Sumeru to be in your hands.

"At least Azar is truly facing the wrathful judgement of the gods..." he mutters to himself, trying to convince himself of the situation at hand.

(Meanwhile You in the background: "YOU MF HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOUUUU I WILL F—KING KILL YOU IF YOU CONTINUE THIS YOU SON OF A B—")

Scaramouche & Nahida

(Decided to add them both here since It's the False God Fight. This is kinda for the sake of convenience—)

Nahida never knew such intense emotion could ever erupt from Their High, Almighty Grace, and here you are, cursing and insulting Scaramouche. It wasn't as bad as Azar's, since you weren't throwing in any "I will have your head by morning" or anything similar threats, but it was still pretty intense.

Scaramouche, on the other hand, has heard you yelling at the old man Azar, and he already been yelled at for—quote on quote—"killing Teppei" (REST IN PEACE, TEPPEI ��), so he knows what your wrath was like.

He did not like it then, and he still doesn't like it now. That much was a solid fact. Nevertheless, he has an image to uphold, especially in front of that Buer.

"Their Almighty Grace is really mad..." Nahida thought as they were confronting Scaramouche. (Cue you in the background still insulting Azar) "And it seems they won't be forgiving Azar anytime soon..."

"So, Their Grace still hasn't let go of their grudge against me..." Scaramouche mutters to himself once he was out of the view of Their Almighty Grace in his mecha. "Tch. Whatever...I'll make them see my true potential one I've squashed these insects."

Dehya

She knew you were explosive. She's seen it happen by the way you were cheering to beat Rahman's ass and "save the kid's grandpa!"

She knew you were pretty emotional on behalf of them. She's pretty happy and honored about that—that means Teyvat meant a lot to you.

What she was not expecting was to hear you curse and scream at Azar at the top of your lungs, as if that was the only enjoyment you were able to indulge yourself in.

You sounded murderous, and yet here you were, just yelling. Dehya would've shrugged it off, since she understood getting things out of your system was good, but she was not expecting the world to shake with your voice.

She looks over at Rahman. "You think Their Grace is handling this well?" "Probably not...Hard to say, Dehya." "Well, we'll just have to wait it out, then. They'll get it out of their system...eventually..."

Dehya was not expecting to wait until after beating the False God for it to be truly over. Gosh, that was scary...

Tighnari

He sensed that you didn't like Azar the moment you saw him, and frankly, he's pretty glad you don't trust him too. What he wasn't expecting was your explosive personality.

For all the stories about the Almighty Creator's kind and gentle nature, you were ANYTHING but. And you were proving it HARD.

Tighnari thought he heard it all when he got struck by lightning. Boy, was he wrong, because you just one-upped his expectations with the amount of cussing, cursing, threats, and insults you were hurtling in one go, streaming out of your mouth like you were running a marathon with your words.

So here he was, waiting in some form of dread in Pardis Dhyai, waiting if you were going to strike down the Akademiya with your godly might.

"I hope they don't accidentally blow up all of Sumeru..." he mutters to himself as he prays to all the archons that the nation wouldn't be turned into water or something.

Alhaitham

He should have taken account of your behaviour to the plan. You did play a crucial part. That was the sole mistake he overlooked.

Then again...it didn't seem like you were doing anything other than yelling at Azar...So perhaps the plan wouldn't change all that much.

He should keep in mind of how reactive you are, though. You...remind of his roommate sometimes...

"Hm. It seems Their Grace has yet to let Azar go of their scandal." He says it so calmly as he waits in Aaru Village. Candace stands a few feet away, looking unsure of what was going on—and probably praying that Their Almighty Grace won't strike down Sumeru in their anger against the rogue Grand Sage.

And let's not talk about the Traveler or Paimon. Those two are both used to it and still terrified. But they're okay with you dw 👍

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: IM COMING BACK WOOO! I'm so excited! There's been quite a few more requests than I usually got back in the past, so I'm a little stoked. They'll be out real soon, but I hope you enjoy this one! Hopefully I'll have time to do them all! :D

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin self aware #sagau #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau nahida #sagau scaramouche #self awareness #sagau cyno #sagau dehya #sagau tighnari #sagau alhaitham

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aliidarling · 5 months ago

Note

hii! I really like your writing about ghostface!!! That’s why i wanted to request kind of enemies to lovers Danny Johnson x fem!reader who fights back. Something like - Danny is going to hook the reader, but she starts throwing hands which is so amusing for him. Nsfw would be nice too<3

aaaaah thank you!! sorry this took so long LMAO

heavy metal lover

DANNY JOHNSON x fem!reader

nsfw content — pls scroll if uncomfortable!

summary: danny chases us down and is about to hook us when we start to throw hands :P

warnings; p in v, dub con, degradation, mean danny, annoying reader, humiliation, wounds, bleeding, blood, normal dbd stuff

danny didn’t like spawning on the brighter, more cheery maps. they were harder to hide in, harder to stalk his victims and chase them down. the sun would always reveal him to the eyes of the survivors, causing his downfall in the end.

which is why he was very pleased when he opens his eyes, the fog disappearing before him to slowly reveal haddonfield. he loved this place, this dark little neighborhood where one of his idols slaughtered their first victims decades ago.

he’s a fan of micheal myers. okay— not just a fan, more like a enthusiast. the first thing he did when he was taken by the fog was ask the tall brooding man for his autograph! could you blame him? it was like he became a giddy teenage girl whenever he was near one of his heroes.

an explosion at the other side of the map has him humming, smiling as he immediately breaks out into stealth and starts to creep towards his new victims. he can’t help but think how stupid they are, exploding a generator not even five minutes into the match. did he pair with that stupid steve again? ugh, he hates that cocky little guy.

on the way to the generator in sight, he suddenly feels himself get palled stunned out of nowhere. he yelps and stumbles back, rubbing his face. he looks up to see you grinning at him. you had literally appeared out of nowhere, and was already throwing pallets? the hell?

“you’re gonna regret that.” he huffs, quickly smashing the pallet. you’re quick to throw your tongue out at him, smiling before sprinting down to one of the houses. he follows reluctantly, pissed off.

“too slow, slow poke!” you yell at him, vaulting over a window into the myers house. he follows into the house, swiftly moving into the house after you. he looks around, confused on how you suddenly disappeared. he walks towards the door to the kitchen only to suddenly get his head slammed by a locker, stunning him. he sees your tiny form exit the locker quickly and run off through his blurry vision. stupid head on.

“stupid bitch will regret that,” he mumbles to himself, not wanting to admit he’s starting to feel a little self conscious. a teeny girl is belittling him and it’s working. how embarrassing could this get for him?

the next twenty minutes is you looping him for five generators. yeah, that’s right, five. danny isn’t very pleased, he’s practically livid, fuming with anger as he attempts to slash at you and you 360 him for the twentieth time. he’s gonna take his time gutting you, you can bet on that.

“just SHUT UP!” he snaps as you yell out another insult that has him wanting to cry. he’s never felt so humiliated. how tall were you even? you couldn’t be taller then 5’5– and he was 6’2. a small midget was looping him.

“you’re gonna fuckin’ die.” he glares at you. you hear the last generator go off in the distance, making your smile widen.

“yeah? doesn’t seem like it.” you stick your tongue out at him before vaulting through a window that has you gaining a good distance on him. he almost trips over his feet as he breaks out into a sprint after you.

yeah, maybe he’s tunneling you at this point, but he really just wants to down you so he can camp your ass. you’re not getting out of this trial after the humiliating experience you put him through.

as you’re running from him, you can see the exit gates slowly start to appear in the distance. a smile grows on your face as you feel your feet start to grow lighter— the adrenaline working well to give you a boost.

but you suddenly feel his knife slash at you form behind, making you scream in pain as you topple over and land on your belly, clutching yourself in pain. there was blood on your shirt now, staining the pretty fabric scarlet red.

“god damn— dick— bringing noed- you’re such a try hard!” you yell at him, making him cackle from behind you. he doesn’t waste time to run over to the exit gate, scaring the other survivors out and forcing them to run into the fog, leaving you all alone bleeding out.

he’s tauntingly slow as he walks back to you, making you stiffen in discomfort. you had managed to crawl a little closer to the exit gate while he was busy, but he got back before you could even enter the area.

“scared?” he asks mockingly, kneeling down infront of you. he grasps into your hair, pulling it and raising your face towards him. he clicks at his tongue in amusement.

“no fuckin’ way-“ you choke out, scowling at him with a pissed off expression. but then again, you can’t help but smirk a little, batting your lashes as you wanted to get some last words in. “at least i stalled your ass for five gens. imagine being that bad at your own job.”

he stares at you for a good five seconds before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder, walking straight to a hook. you start thrashing and yelling at him, hands flying. he’s very easy to piss off, mostly because he’s always angry and was born a psychopath, but you do such a good job at it that it surprises him.

“let me GOOOO!” you screech. you’re like a worm, squirming around and throwing fists. he’s tempted to disobey the entity and kill you with his bare hands, but he doesn’t want to anger that spider in the sky. that spider in the sky is what feeds him after all.

he’s fighting you now, literally. your punches are actually landing and he’s hissing in pain, rubbing his arm where you punched, glaring daggers at you. you fall off his shoulder and land on the ground, making you groan momentarily before quickly getting up.

“you’ve gotta be’ joking—“ he groans to himself as he watches you scurry off in the direction of the closest exit gate. it’s like a game of cat and mouse, danny quickly getting back up to chase you down like some pyscho. (he doesn’t like to admit he’s a little crazy in the head.)

it takes another few minutes for him to have you down again, seconds before you managed to leave the exit gate. his heart was pounding but once he slashed you and you fell to the ground, he was quick to slam his foot on your back and hold you in place. you were panting and wheezing underneath his bloody boot, a sharp groan leaving you as our cheek hits the dirty grass.

“ow, that hurts.” you whine, squirming around. now that you’ve accepted the fact you’re prone to die, you instead set your heart on annoying the fuck out of him until you draw your last breath.

“yeah. too,” he punctuates each word with a jab to your back, “fuckin. bad.” he’s had enough of you for a while. if he gets paired up with you within the next week again he might just go crazy. clinically insane isn’t much of a stretch either.

“just kill me already, don’t drag this on.” you huff, glaring at him as you peer over your shoulder. he smirks at you, a thought flashing in his head. he grabs you by under your armpits, picking you up flawlessly. you yelp and squirm at the action, not liking being so close to the slasher.

“get off me—“

“shhhh, lemme have my fun before i sacrifice you.”

now, when he said fun, you were expecting to be thrown around and stabbed for a good hour. maybe two, you had pissed him off a lot. but you weren’t expecting to be bent over the nearest vault and have him shove your pants down, roughly fiddling with your panties before delivering a harsh slap to your pussy.

you gasp immediately as the impact has you clenching down, jolting and squirming. you try to get free but he delivers a sharp smack to your thigh and you can hear the sound of his robe rustling.

“you’re gonna regret this, you know.” you mumble weakly, already feeling so humiliated that you’d even let yourself get into this position. maybe you wouldn’t mind as much if it was wesker or myers, they were hot, but this guy wears a mask! and his personality is ten times more terrifying then any other killer, with his dumb ass jokes and cocky attitude.

“mmm, you’re gonna regret this, you know.” he mocks as he pumps his cock a few times in his hand, hissing lowly at the friction. his mocking tone makes you shudder and look down in a defeated manner, coming to terms with the fact he won and was now about to fuck you as revenge. this day couldn’t be any worse.

“i hope your cock falls off mid thrust—“ you mumble before getting interrupted by the feeling of him sliding his head inside you. it was so thick for what? he did not need a cock that thick, jesus. your lips pressed together in hopes of concealing the loud moan you wanted to let free, hands gripping the vault edge tightly as he slid himself deeper into your hole. it didn’t feel good, no, not at all, not even a little. maybe a little.

he snickers and wraps one arm around your neck, squeezing it for funsies as he feels himself twitch inside you. his other hand secures itself around your waist. he gives a little shallow thrust as a test, wanting to see how wet you were.

“fuckin’ christ, girl. you’re so wet, what happened to all that i hate you bull shit? hmm?” he laughs meanly at you as he presses deeper, his hip bone flush against your round butt. your soapy walls clench around him so tightly that he’s already seeing stars, the wet feeling giving him enough friction to want to cum already.

“i-i do hate you..” you whimper softly. you’re almost ashamed of how pathetic you sound already as he pulls out, only for him to snap his hips back against yours harshly. you gasp at the feeling of his cock hitting that deep part inside you.

“this pussy doesn’t.” he laughs even more.

you attempt to glare and swat at him but he suddenly starts ramming his cock into you, making you shriek and grab at the vault. he’s brutal, mean, and fast, not caring about your comfort at all. why would he, he hates you.

“someone’s quiet all of a sudden.” he groans between thrusts, battering your insides just the way he likes, not giving you much time to breath as he slams himself deeper with each thrust. the slapping sounds of your flesh meeting has you mewling in embarrassment, eyes rolled back and mouth agape. he doesn’t let down on his pace, instead squeezing your neck tightly which ends with you clenching down on him.

he hisses and pulls your hair harshly, making you shriek. he’s fucking into you with all his force, focusing on cumming and pushing his cock as deep as it can go. your squeaky noises remind him of a dog toy. he snickers and squeezes your neck tight, restricting your air flow without much care in doing it safely. the sight of you passing out on his cock wouldn’t even be half bad.

a sharp smack stings your butt cheek as he continues thrusting, watching how the blood from your fellow survivors makes a subtle hand print on your flesh. he hums in approval.

“ohhh, you’re getting tight now, baby. are you really gonna cum all over me?” he scoffs and presses your hips further against him, pulling in and out in a brutal pace, listening to your soft cries and squeaky moans. “i thought you were strong? talking so much shit, saying how i’m a try hard.. hmmm, if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you’re the sore loser, baby.”

his mean words have you clenching down and blushing, looking down in humiliation. why did he have to be so mean with his words? right when you were about to cum too? and why did it make you wetter? wow, you really are messed up.

“s-shut u-up, mfffhh…” you gasp into the air as your orgasm washes over you, coating his cock in your pretty white juice. the sound of him thrusting turns more wet and shlick, making you redden in embarrassment. he groans lowly as you explode around him. he mutters a phrase about you being a dumb bitch that’s ungrateful before he bucks his hips forward and feels himself cum hard inside you. he hasn’t gotten laid in a while, so he has a lot packing.

“fuuucckkkkkk..” he hisses, his grip on you tight and bruising. there’s a moment of silence where he stands behind you with his cock fully sheathed still, panting and regaining his breath.

the next thing he does isn’t unexpected but still definitely not welcome. he slams his knife into your back, making you scream loudly in pain as tears well up in your eyes. one hand presses it deeper, the feeling of your flesh being ripped making you sob, while his other hand grabs his camera.

he positions his camera infront of your face and presses his finger on the trigger, snapping a cute little selfie with your naked body infront of him, the sight of his cock inside you from behind and the bloody knife in your back all getting captured.

“oh yeah, i’m definitely jerking off to this later.” he snorts.

#danny johnson #ghost face x reader #ghostface #dead by daylight #danny johnson smut #danny johnson x reader

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kneelingshadowsalome · 8 months ago

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How does Minotaur!Konig handle an argument with his wife/his wife being upset with him? He clearly avoids making her upset as much as possible because he loves her and only wants to see her happy, and she loves and accepts him as he is, quirks and all so I don't really see them getting into fights but maybe he gets way too reactive and violent with someone in town over a perceived slight and she gives him the silent treatment on the way home or something. I feel like he'd be so sad even if she only didn't talk to him for like an hour 😞 I can also see his insecurities/abandonment issues coming into play, he starts overthinking and makes it a whole big thing in his head and meanwhile she's already forgetting that she was even upset with him. These are just my thoughts but maybe you have something else in mind/see it playing out differently!

Yes absolutely!!

Minotaur!König cannot cope with this shit at all. The last time he did something “bad” ended in him being thrown into a cold, dark Labyrinth. Even as a grown man he goes straight into survival mode if he sees that he has somehow disappointed his beloved 💔

His wife knows how König is so it would take a lot for her to visibly show she’s upset with him. Our bull tries to avoid chaos as best he can which means arguments between these two are extremely rare — but they do happen! Because one thing you must know about all versions of König is that they think they’re always right. Minotaur!König is just as thick headed as the rest of them so if he thinks that “his cause is just” then he will stand his ground no matter what. He will claim that water is wine if he thinks it’s so!

Some petty perceived insult directed at his wife could get him riled very easily, could get them both into trouble because König won't cool down before he’s drawn blood. He wants to give this poor soul's head to his wife, on a plate if possible, and if he can’t do that the tension just won’t go away. How can life go on if he hasn’t done what’s right??

She has to guide König in social situations and explain later what it was all about, what different phrases mean and how he can’t just kill people if they don’t behave the way he wants them to. In some ways, she knows she is dealing with a child and has to be patient, how could this poor man know how to behave when he lived underground all those years? All he was taught was that he’s evil, unwanted and ugly, so the last thing she wants to do is hurl blame at him and scream. Silent treatment would totally be one of her ways to show him he didn’t get points home this time, but for König even the tiniest distancing looks like she’s abandoning him. Throwing him mentally into a tiny tiny Labyrinth, telling him he’s not wanted, that he’ll never be loved :(

And poor König doesn’t know what to do and how to be, for a while the anxiety threatens to take over. He reaches for her hand, then pulls away fearing she doesn’t want to be touched. He tries to talk, but nothing comes out because he doesn’t entirely understand what he should apologise for. He stands in the middle of the room and watches her blow air on the coals and just go on about her day, thinking that the time has finally come when she tells him to get out of the house.

It takes years before König takes the initiative in reconciling because he simply doesn’t know how to do it. Blunt, pained statements such as “Are you upset with me,” and “You’re disappointed in me” are common before he learns that the world is not going to end even if they’re not happy with each other all the time. His wife is usually the one who comes to him and says that everything is okay and that she was only upset with what he did, not with who he is.

Just imagine this adorable goof being both stubborn in his "I don’t have to say I’m sorry" policy and crippled by his "Are you going to abandon me" fear 💔 How can you even be angry at this man? There’s no chance, especially when he’s a jerk only once or twice a year 🩷🦬

#minotaur!könig #he's so 💔💔💔❤️‍🩹❤️

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delusionalwriter02 · 6 months ago

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hey i hope ur alright ? can i request a insta as but with the ada members ? like not a specific relationship just them being happy together (it's been too long since they were happy rip) thank you!!!!!

Insta as an ADA's member

a/n : hey love! I never did it with the whole agency but I'll try me best, hope you'll like it!<3

<3 liked by Chu_uya, Ranthebestpo and 593 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we searched for them for 30 bloody minutes @.Daze_i @.Ranthebestpo @.Atsushiii @.JuNro @.Kenji_fromthefarm YOU STUPID FUCKERS

Daze_i : you described me so well

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : what

↳ Daze_i : I fuck ur mothejfboqzjtkeo

↳ Daze_i : DOPPO IDIOT U ALMOST GAVE ME A CONCUSSION

↳ KunikiDA : Learn to be respectful

↳ Yosanurgirl : Dazai honey I received a new chainsaw, care to try it with me ? 🥰

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Wonderful idea Yosano

↳ Daze_i : no not a great idea at all, try it on Atsushi I'm sure he'll like it

↳ Atsushiii : Why me ? I didn't insult anyone's mother

↳ Daze_i : OKAY I'M SORRY PLS PLS I'M SORRY

↳ Yosanurgirl : Oh you'll be sorry don't worry

↳ Daze_i : RANPO HELP ME

↳ Ranthebestpo : not my problem

Gintonic : what were they even talking about

↳ Chu_uya : Really ? It's the topic of the conv that's concerning you ?

↳ Gintonic : they got cute hat

↳ Chu_uya : I need a drink

<3 liked by Daze_i, Atsushiii and 942 others.

Yosanurgirl : dump of our vacations

Gintonic : LMFAO WHO IS ON THE TOP RIGHT

↳ Yosanurgirl : Ranpo proudly sitting on Atsushi

↳ Gintonic : they're so stupid omg

Chu_uya : IT'S OUTRAGIOUS BOSS I WANT VACATIONS TOO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : come with us next time

↳ Daze_i : yes Chuuya come 🤗

↳ Chu_uya : you're so suspicious

↳ Daze_i : it'll be my pleasure to throw you out of the cliff

↳ Chu_uya : you'll fall trying

↳ Daze_i : what a wonderful death

FukuZAWA : It was very nice, we should do it more often.

↳ Ranthebestpo : glad you had fun

↳ Elisefather : Were they more productive after these vacations ?

↳ FukuZAWA : Raise spirits at least

↳ Elisefather : Hm, maybe I'll consider doing that

↳ Chu_uya : Really ?

↳ Gintonic : OMG FUCK YES

↳ Gintonic : I mean, this is a great idea Boss

↳ Elisefather : We'll see.

↳ The_Hirotsu : Please Boss, change that username

<3 liked by Gintonic, Yosanurgirl and 294 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we're so sexy @.Yosanurgirl

Yosanurgirl : I felt my sex appeal disappear

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : always be sexy in my eyes

↳ Daze_i : mine too, everywhere you want

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : shut the fuck up

↳ Chu_uya : Have some self respect omg

Atsushiii : Can't believe I won honestly

↳ JuNro : me too

↳ Ranthebestpo : I SHOULD HAVE WON, I CALCULATED EVERYTHING, I EVEN MADE YOU FALL

↳ Atsushiii : SO IT WAS YOU

↳ Ranthebestpo : OF COURSE IT WAS ME

↳ Atsushiii : YOU SAID IT WAS YOSANO

↳ Ranthebestpo : OMG DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING I TELL YOU

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : are the kids done ?

↳ Atsushiii : NO

↳ Ranthebestpo : NO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Fine fine

Yosanurgirl : GIRL COME SEE THIS MAGNIFICENT PAIR OF KIDNEYS

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : OMW

↳ KunikiDA : How have you.... Nevermind, don't wanna know

↳ Daze_i : COMING TOO MY GIRLS

↳ KunikiDA : OH NO YOU ARE COMING WITH ME

↳ Daze_i : but but but but

↳ KunikiDA : You still have paperwork to do, and this time you won't give them to Atsushi

↳ Daze_i : How did you know ?

↳ KunikiDA : I know everything.

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Ranthebestpo and 1806 others.

KunikiDA : Whoever did this, I swear to you I'm going to find you, gut you and petition the government to have this bloody day annulled !

Yn_theoneandonly : FUCK IT DID WORK @.Ranthebestpo WE'RE GENIUS

↳ Ranthebestpo : SHUT UP HE'S GONNA KNOW IT'S US

↳ Daze_i : That's why I love you

↳ KunikiDA : You two, you better start running

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : RANPO WE'RE DEAD

↳ Ranthebestpo : WHO'S TO BLAME YOU IDIOT

↳ Kenji_fromthefarm : RUN I'LL TRY TO STOP HIM

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOU'RE A LIFESAVIOR KENJI

Gintonic : oh my I almost piss myself laughing

↳ Akutagawa : Thanks for the details

Yosanurgirl : I would have paid millions to see his face

↳ Daze_i : SAME BAAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE'S SO STUPID NOBODY WRITES "FREE CAKE"

↳ Yosanurgirl : You write your name on your yogurts

↳ Daze_i : That's because of Ranpo, he always eats them all

↳ Yosanurgirl : and who pays for these yogurts

↳ Daze_i : Atsushi... Okay I see your point but if my name is on them THEN IT'S MINE

↳ Yosanurgirl : THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS

↳ Daze_i : WELL NOW IT IS

Chu_uya : So hmmm Kyôka, you left us for them ?

↳ Kyôk_a : They're funnier than you for sure

↳ Chu_uya : Gotta act like I didn't read that

<3 liked by KunikiDA, FukuZAWA and 701 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : true family

Kenji_fromthefarm : I love you guys

Yosanurgirl : I LOVE you

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : me too sweet

Ranthebestpo : owwww aren't we cute

↳ p0e : sure are

Daze_i : at that moment there was a warm current between my legs

↳ Chu_uya : someone piss on you

Kyôk_a : never felt better in my life

↳ OzuKoy : I'm happy for you sweetheart

Atsushiii : I'm glad I found you all

↳ Akutagawa : you're foolish

↳ Gintonic : shut up and be happy for once

KunikiDA : What a bunch of happy idiots we are

↳ KATAI : couldn't have worded it better

JuNro : the warm current was probably me

↳ Higucci : you're disgusting

↳ Naomii : you should have stayed silent Jun

FukuZAWA : Thank you for trusting me one day, kids

↳ M_Mori : I really need to plan those vacations

↳ The_Hirotsu : Thank you Boss for changing the username

Hello! hope you liked it ? I kinda tear up at the end, it makes me happy to write them happy so I really hope you'll feel the same, we all need a good old boost of happiness from time to time

with love <3

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armyoftheforgottenruler-blog · 2 months ago

Text

just a small part of the self destructive/ suicidal reader fic

How many times have you been here? How many times has you tub been stained red with your own blood? that's a question you can't bare to think about, how did your life end up like this. that's a question you can answer it started back when you still loved your so called ‘mother and father” just thinking about them makes you feel sick like fresh ink being poured down your throat you hated them but it wasn't always this way when you were younger you loved them you trusted them but after a while the fights started turns out your dear old “dad” wasn't satisfied with your “mother” and started to see another Older woman not that you can blame him that girl was a nut case and after he left your “mom” wanted something to take away the pain and then suddenly you were diagnosed with many “mental illnesses” and was “given” pills that you never took soon she became more and more aggressive she never left a mark on you but her words made up for it each insult became harder and harder to heal from until she left one of her used razors out at first it was an accident… it always was you just wanted to throw it out but you sliced your fingers and it hurt but it distracted you from what your mother said if only for a moment. soon your dresser was filled with sweaters and jeans after all they covered you up the most you didn't want others to see your scars you were already picked on because of your parents divorce you didn't want to give them more ammo. yet the pain soon became addictive since it was the only thing in your life that you could actually control and your body became litter with scars and cuts most of them were on your arms and thighs each one perfectly lined up with the next over time your ‘bad’ habit became a crucial part of your life you would spend at least 30 minutes marking up a new or old section of your body when you were 18 and got kicked out by your “mother” you got an apartment and thats when things got a better more interesting the first thing you did when you became an adult was to get a good job and pay your apartment rent and then then next thing you got was a phone it wasn't the best model known to man kind but it was good enough for you and a month or two after that you discovered a neat little game called genshin impact and it took an extremely long two seconds before you became in loved with this world everything even the monsters were cute and their colors vibrant and each character was so cool, cute, or hot now since you started at 3.0 you didn't have any “good” Characters but you didn't care when ever you had a character you treasured them and you had habit of staying up till 12:00 researching about them and try to model your gameplay style after that oh ganyu and lisa are vegetarian well you'd stop serving them the sweet maddams and grilled tiger fish oh qiqi hates warm places and things well dragon spine was just waiting to be explored with proper safety precautions of course but under all the code and pixels there was something that you didn't see something brewing they became aware of everything you did even the NPCs and monsters became aware and soon they saw you and everything you've done for them even if it sometimes scared them with how In loved with each of them you were after all they saw you cut those cuts were different from the ones you usually do these cuts were for getting them killed or hurt when you were playing with them or for failing to pull for them or their signature weapon but what made them worry for you the most was when you would cut their names on your body every new character was a new name.

#sagau #writing #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #self aware genshin

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iznyangwoni · 4 months ago

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EASY TO LOVE | chapter fifteen !

warnings! smut (MDNI!), suggestive, mention of drinking, mention of getting high

You all spent the next day at home, swimming in the pool, playing dumb games, getting high.. and with that comes chemical hunger, which is why you, Jay and Wonyoung are making a birthday cake while everyone else is playing outside.

“You and Jungwon look way closer than i thought.” Wonyoung says, her shirt full of flour, you’re sitting right next to her, eating the remaining chocolate cream from the spoon now that Jay is done with it. “Don’t lie now, i treat him just how i treat all of you.” “You never cuddled me to sleep after getting drunk tho.” Jay adds, and you glance at him.

Last night Jungwon got a bit more drunk than anyone else, and you did help him not only throw up, but also get clean and you got him to sleep next to you. You roll your eyes, you really cant tell why you act like this with Jungwon, sure he acts cute while at the same time he’s hot as hell and you’re sure he has many great qualities, but the cons are a bit higher when it comes to him. “He was sick, i was helping a sick person.”

Wonyoung laughs as she smears some of the cream on your cheek and nose, then licking it off her finger. “I think you like him.” That makes you laugh. You? Liking someone? Thats new. As popular as you are, you’re never really had a serious relationship, only played with a bunch of guys, and dated one or two, but that lasted only a couple of weeks before you got bored. “That’s so stupid… why would i like-“

Before you can even finish your sentence Moka comes in running, her hands on the chair as she takes a breath, damn, the girl is fragile. “Sunghoon and Jungwon are fighting again.” You sigh loudly, looking back at Wonyoung while getting up from your chair. “See what i mean?”

You go down the stairs, the spoon still in your hands, they’ve been fighting since you got here, so you’re not too worried. Or at least that is until you hear them yell at each other, Nicholas in the background trying to calm them down. “The fuck do you mean that bitch ass friend of yours blackmailed you and you did nothing? Have you fucking lost your mind?” You hear Sunghoon say that, so you walk faster, how does he know about minji?

Jungwon looks pretty calm from the outside, but his brows are furrowed just like last time, when he was mad at you. “Do you even fucking know what Y/n went through?” “Sunghoon-“ You try to intervener but both guys look at you as if you just insulted them. Its unusual, but for once you feel intimidated. Nicholas gets next to you, his hand on your back.

“Did you know? Y/n? That Minji was all up his ass too?” You gulp, of course you know, Jungwon told you. He told you everything without asking questions, so you nod, but that only seems to anger Sunghoon even more. He turns to Jungwon once again, this time stepping closer to him. “You should’ve protected her.” “I see her more than just a damsel in distress.”

“You don’t know shit.” Sunghoon steps even closer, the height difference between the two is really noticeable now. “I don’t know shit because no one tells me shit! I have no damn clue about what happened last year or why Minji is so obsessed with her! You can’t blame me and then not tell me a thing!” The two start pushing each other like little kids, its honestly pissing you off, did they really have to do that on your birthday?

“That’s the thing, you will never know, you shouldn’t be here in the first place.” Now that’s pissing you off even more, “Sunghoon!” You call him, walking towards them, but they don’t hear you, instead they just get more violent. “Can’t you just ignore each other for once?” You manage to get hold of Sunghoon’s wrist, stopping him from punching Jungwon. “Do you really have to make a scene on my birthday?”

“I’m doing this for you.” Sunghoon gets off of your grip, stepping away from both you and Jungwon. “But i dont want you to.” Jungwon tries to take your hand, probably wanting to calm you down or something, but you just shrug him off, and you hear him sigh behind you. There are a few seconds of silence where you just look at each other, you can tell that Sunghoon is mad, and you can’t really blame him.

Its barely been a year and you’re already acting like nothing happened, you know you’ve been acting immature all this time, with Jungwon, with your friends, at school. And no one better than you knows its gonna cause some repercussions, but right now you don’t want to think about it. It’s your birthday, you’re here with the people you care about, you want to have fun for these two more days.

Sunghoon sighs before walking away, not saying a thing, you don’t try to follow him, you know he’ll calm down on his own. You close your eyes before turning around to look at Jungwon, you try to say something but he shakes his head. His jaw is clenched and his brows are still furrowed.

You hate how damn hot he looks when mad, he’s able to attract you yet make you feel intimidated. “Jungwon can we talk-“ “I need a couple of minutes.” The coldness in his voice makes you shiver. You look at Nicholas, who immediately gets the memo and starts walking away from you two.

“Are you mad at me?” You dont remember the last time you asked something like that. But it surely brings you back, you feel so little in front of him, he’s barely looking at you in the eyes, his whole demeanor so cold, it makes you shiver. “Y/n, I said I need a few minutes.”

You bite your bottom lip, feeling so nervous about this whole interaction. You just nod and start walking back into the house, hands in your hair as you try to think about what you did to fuck this all up. Is he mad because of Sunghoon’s words? Its true Jungwon doesn’t know a thing, and that he probably won’t ever know the truth, but why does he care so much? why do YOU care so much?

A couple of hours pass, until its two in the morning. You can’t sleep, not after you got used to Jungwon sleeping next to you yesterday. You sigh, thinking that maybe the only thing that could ease your mind at the moment could be a late night swim in the indoor pool. So that’s what you decide to do, with a towel in your hands, wearing your bikini under a big white shirt, you go downstairs.

You close the door of the indoor pool and stand there for a few minutes when you realize Jungwon is already here. He’s standing on the border of the pool, he’s drying his hair with the towel, no shirt on, fuck. You can’t really be thinking about this now. He notices you staring and, before he can say something, you stop him.

“I didn’t know you were here.” The pool isn’t exactly small, so there’s really a few meters apart between the two of you, you would get closer but you’re still scared about him being mad at you. He lets out a quiet chuckle before smiling at you. “Why so far, pretty? I swear i’m not gonna eat you.” You pout.

You dont really want to listen to him right now. The audacity to act so cocky after scaring you so much is honestly pissing you off. So you put the towel on one of the chairs, same with the white shirt you had on, and then you just dive into the water. When you resurface he’s looking at you, his eyes the same ones as that time in his changing room.

“Is this close enough for you?” “Not at all.” He’s quick to say it, but he’s even quicker to get into the water with you. His hands immediately on your waist. “This is.” You look at him in the eyes, you know that look, you know what he wants. But you need to talk to him now, you put your hand on his arm, caressing his bicep with your thumb. “Are you still mad at me?”

He smirks, before leaning in and biting your lobe. “I am. Not as much though.” Your free hand goes to his jaw, making him look at you in the eyes, and making so that he doesn’t bite you again. “Can we talk?” He shakes his head, and that makes you even more disappointed. “Don’t feel like it.” “You never feel like it.”

Jungwon’s eyes turn cold the second you snap that. But you’re way too disappointed to think about it. You get off of his grip and start getting away from him, he stands still for a few seconds before catching up to you. “Y/n…” Its making you mad and, surprisingly, its making you even sadder.

He grabs you by your hips and you hit his chest lightly to let you go. Even if in reality you really dont mind the closeness between you two. Still, you are pretty angry at him. You don’t like how he’s been acting, first he’s all cuddly and lovely, then he gets mad at you for no reasons, and then again he looks at you as if he’s dying to fuck you. Right now he’s a mix between the last two.

“Why do you even want to talk in the first place? I know you wont tell me a thing anyway. Its useless talk we could spend on kissing instead.” You sigh, its true you wouldn’t tell him the whole story, but you could give him some hints, and as plump and soft his lips look right now, you dont want him to win. “Dont feel like it.”

“You’re cute when you’re sulking.” You dont say a thing, but your heart gets a weird reaction when he says that. You’re still pouting when you rest your head on his shoulder, your hand on his arm. “I don’t like fighting with you.” “I know.” “But you always do this weird thing where you dont want to talk and it makes me feel like.. like its not important to hear what i have to say..”

You say the last sentence way quieter than it needs to be, but he still hears it, and his eyes widen for a second before he looks at you again, his hands holding you closer. “Don’t say that.” “I know we both dont like talking about feelings and shit like that, but i can never figure out whats in your head and its driving me crazy.”

You try to say something else, but he moves your head with his fingers, and only know you’re realizing that he’s sitting on the steps of the pool. “Y/n” “No Jungwon let me finish-“ “Y/n.” “What i mean is“ Jungwon rolls his eyes before grabbing your head with both of his hands and kiss you.

“This. Is all i can think about when i see you. I am mad at you yes, but i can get over it.” You’re still sulking, your thumbs trace his furrowed eyebrows, your voice quieter once again. “I dont want you to be mad in the first place.” “Sit on my lap and i’ll forget it.” You gulp before doing wait he says, the second you sit on his lap he pulls you closer to him, his lips attacking yours before you can even realize it.

You kiss him back with as much hunger, you can feel him smirk through the kiss, if it can even be called something as simple as that. Your nails are digging into his shoulders as he slowly makes your hips move on him. He usually talks so much when you’re in these situations, and the fact that he’s being so quiet is enough to make you realize how mad he actually is.

His hands wonder all over your body, eventually playing with the strings of your swimsuit, pulling them, wrapping them around his fingers, until he pulls the strings of your bottom so hard to open it. You whimper, but he only does the same with the other side. You pull out of the kiss, and he just starts biting and kissing your neck and chest, the bottom part of your bikini now long gone.

His fingers go between your legs, playing with your folds, slapping your cunt a couple of times. Your mouth opens to moan, but you try your best to be quiet, not wanting to wake anyone. His hands go back to your hips, grinding you against him even more now, faster than before. “Jungwon.. fuck,” You cant even think straight right now, the feeling of the cold water, his swimming shorts, and his fingers around you are just making you go insane.

You can feel how hard he is, you want to touch him too, you want to feel him so deep into you that not having him right now is making you want to cry. You let out a louder moan when he grinds you against him with more force, and he lets out a laugh. Your hand travels around his body, you want to feel all of him so much more, his toned chest and abs, his biceps, his whole body is so fucking perfect to you. But your hand goes lower, and lower until you meet his shorts, you want to take them off right now.

“Not now pretty.” You whine in disappointment, biting his shoulder, which only makes him slap your cunt once more. “Get up. Wanna eat you.” You legs are shaking like crazy, but you still manage to get up, his hands keeping your thighs steady and open. He looks at your directly in the eyes at each move he makes, biting your thighs, kissing your stomach down to licking your slit.

Your hand instinctively goes to his hair meanwhile the other one goes to your mouth. You can barely breathe as he continues, you’ve never seen heaven so up close. You love how he keeps making sounds even when down there, it takes all of you to not scream when he puts a finger in. “Won.. Wonie.. too much..” He smiles, and his kisses go up again, eyes still on you.

Jungwon pushes you down, you’re still trying to catch your breath meanwhile he is taking off his own shorts. You gulp looking down, definitely not expecting him to be so.. so… fuck. “Jungwon..” You call him, and he chuckles again, kissing your lips. “Are you going to just stare or?” “Maybe help me?” He kisses you again, and opens your legs enough to make you sink down onto him in a much easier way.

Your eyes close out of pleasure, you would’ve never thought that being so close to him would make you feel so damn good. He’s kissing you all over while you adjust to his size, and when you nod, he knows its the perfect time to move. Between his thrusts and the water splashing, its as if your moans are just a background sound.

You hands are shaking as they wonder on his chest and neck, you try to kiss him more, but its so hard between the movement that it makes you laugh. “You’re so pretty, so damn pretty. Want to have you like this all the time.” And there he goes again, talking you through it as usual. “Yeah? I wouldn’t mind that.”

You manage to breathe out, and you feel him twitch inside you at that sentence. He bites your lips before closing his eyes, his moans are so pretty to you, so soft and so damn soothing, you still dont know how he manages to be so perfect. “I’m close pretty. Get up.” You do as he says, helping him with the last few strokes as he finishes, immediately kissing you after.

“Still mad at me?” He shakes his head no, a dumb smirk on his face as he catches his breath. You tie up your swimsuit back again and he pick you up, peppering your face with kisses, you could really get used to it. You hate how he acts sometimes, how confusing he is and the fact that being even near him is troublesome. But the kisses… you could get used to those.

“Lets to go upstairs, i’m gonna make you finish a dozen of times before you can even think about sleeping.”

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