#then had to un-come out TWICE
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seosracha · 5 months ago
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⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY
─"do you know about all the filth that goes on in here?"
SYNOPSIS ⸻ being a smart kid comes with a lot of advantages; one of them being a full scholarship to one of the best schools in the country. one of the best school's that's filled to the brim with disgustingly rich teenagers. Heeseung knows you're not like them, and he also knows that'll be easy to take advantage of.
PAIRING ⸻ toxic!heeseung x innocentfem!reader
GENRE ⸻ strangers to lovers, private school au, smut, fluff, angst (idek tbh)
TAGS ⸻ characters are all 18 or older, toxic relationships, misogyny, alcohol abuse, smoking, marijuana/cannabis mention, partying, underage drinking, foul language, cheating (not really though) power imbalance, abuse (punches are getting thrown..) , kinda love triangle?? , making out, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), virginity loss, p in v, pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, tell me if i missed something!
WORDCOUNT ⸻ 21k
PART TWO
everything here is FICTIONAL, it is not real. this was created for entertainment purposes only. MINORS DNI.
“No Eunseok, I don’t want to go anywhere!” you grit your teeth, backing away from your older brother. 
He sighed, and with his hand pulled your wrist towards the doorway. You were acting like a brat, and he had absolutely no interest in fighting with you right now. From your standpoint, you had every reason to be behaving this way. 
“There are thousands- no, millions of people your age who would die for an opportunity like this, and you're going to act like a child? Grow up, Y/n” he let out a steady breath as an attempt to calm himself down. 
In some way, you put yourself in this situation. Flawless scores on all your exams, juggling multiple extracurriculars and excelling at every single one of them, participating in every Model UN you could get your hands on, making a name for yourself- being somebody. It all led to you being noticed by prestigious schools, who practically begged to host you, even though deep down, you were a nobody. 
Your parents weren't snobby rich people, who thrived off of other people's ideas and failure. They weren't greedy either, working normal 9 to 5 jobs. 
When you were merely 12 years old they had left to go work at your uncle's company overseas, hoping that it’ll allow them to make enough money to pay for your brother’s med school tuition and potentially have the money to fund a future clinic of his. They promised to come back as soon as Eunseok finished school and started a stable job. But they never did. 
Eunseok, who was 7 years older than you, was always the favorite child. No matter how well you did or how bad he did, Eunseok was number one in your parents' hearts. There was never a family reunion where Eunseok’s medical career as a surgeon wasn't brought up- and when it did end up getting shoved into the conversation, it didn't stop until all the lights turned off. 
And of course, you felt bad for your brother. He had to balance taking care of you and being a surgeon for fucks sake, but that didn't mean you couldn't feel lonely most of the time. You had a free hand when it came to inviting friends over, but unfortunately their strict parents and every other circumstance never allowed them to stay longer than one night. Your only family,  your older brother who you looked up to was just never there, and you just sank deeper into your loneliness whenever he called and apologized for a sudden surgery that came up. 
But still, Eunseok, was just perfect, you had no choice but to try and keep up with him. 
So when the letter from Saint Matthew’s Academy came in the mail, offering you a spot in their school, with the tuition fully paid for by them, you didn't even think twice. 
And now you regret that, badly. 
St. Matthews Academy was a private school next to the town you grew up in. It was also an exceptionally expensive place, with tuition fees racking up to about $80.000 per year. Going there would be a privilege to most people your age, but the students there saw it as a regular school without anything special to offer them. Even if they weren't going to inherit their parents’ company's, they were truly set up for the rest of their lives anyways. 
You hadn't really done any research on the school before accepting their offer, only aware of their students academic achievements and high level of education. The more you found out, the more the idea of being a student terrified you. 
You would stick out like a sore thumb amidst the successful people who had a chairman position prescribed before birth. 
“It’ll be okay, do you think if I let the fear get to me, I’d be a SNU alumni now?” Eunseok asked, focused on the road as he drove you right into the gates of your own, personal hell. 
“We get it, you finished SNU and are a surgeon now, blah blah blah” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 
“I’m just trying to help you. I doubt those kids are going to be that bad. They have a reputation to upkeep anyways, can’t be caught bullying” he tried to calm you down, but everytime he opened his mouth, he just made it worse. 
“Eunseok, you’re making it worse” you murmured, tucking at the skin of your thumb. He placed his hand on yours, preventing you from continuing with your bad habits “That’s exactly why I’m scared. These kids are disgustingly rich, and people like us-  well we're like ants compared to them. They have an image to polish, and I have none of that” you continued, and he frowned lightly, his heart breaking at your, his little sisters, words. 
“Do you seriously think you got to be in this position cause you’re a nobody? I don’t think regular and undeserving people have been given a full scholarship to a school like Saint Matthew’s. Nobody has been given a scholarship from them really” Eunseok said, making you feel slightly more confident “I can turn around, you can withdraw, but I think you’ll regret that” he said, with a light smile which you reciprocated. 
Maybe you should have told him to turn around back then, maybe you should've denied the offer or thrown it away the moment you saw the letter with that heinous stamp. 
_____ 
No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop thinking about what your first day was going to be like. Some dreams portrayed you as the future top 3 of the school, and some seemed to make you out to be the outcast loser who can’t seem to find anyone who’d befriend her. 
It was nearly impossible to get those images out of your head. You thought about lying about your background, falsifying stories about your parents who own giant multi-utility corporations that supply petrol and energy to half the country, but that was pointless. 
You could either be made fun of for lying or made fun of for being a ‘poor nobody’. None of them seemed right, but one didn't lead to being incredibly embarrassed for the rest of highschool. 
The building did not have any correlation with the one that you imagined, the one that you constantly dreamed about. It looked nothing like the modern, smart, couple story construction that clouded your mind beyond arrival, and because of their strict laws, pictures and videos of both the inside and outside were strictly prohibited. 
So all you had left was to make up your own assumptions, and the old fashioned, palace looking property was definitely not one of them. You assumed that the millions of dollars in tuition that flow into the headmaster's account every year could at least allow him to renovate the building. 
But it seemed as if the gray, dirty, moss covered outer walls had a special meaning you didn't quite understand. 
You definitely weren't a sucker for historical architecture, and this building looked more like a nightmare than a dream to you. 
At the front office, the lady had confiscated your phone, with a smile explaining why they do it, and asking you to pick it up after classes are over. She had a creepy aura surrounding her, and you begged for her small introduction to finish as soon as possible. 
“I’ll let Wonyoung, your class president, give you a tour around our school. She should be here in a moment, dear” she smiled eagerly at you, and you found it hard to reciprocate her seemingly innocent expression. 
You never expected Wonyoung to be an actual angel, her figure already shining brightly as she strides towards you. You wondered how it was possible for someone to make a school uniform look this good. Her hair was long and silky, and her bangs just looked fake with how fresh and bouncy they were. 
You smoothed down your uniform and fixed up your hair as she got closer to you and the eerie lady next to you. 
“You're the new student, right?” she waved at you, and shot you with a pretty smile. 
You had no idea how to behave, acknowledging that she probably came from a wealthy family that practically owns the country. 
But Wonyoung was a little different. Her parents didn't own any big corporations or participate in any other money making schemes. Both her mom and dad met on the set for a movie that later led them to become the highest paid actors in the industry. It was pretty comical to say she was different as she still was considered a product of nepotism in the modeling world that she was so active in. She hadn't even finished highschool, but had already walked for brands like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Maison Margiela and more. Maybe it was her pretty face or just her parents' wild connections. 
“Mind if I give you a small tour? It can get complicated around here” she asked, her tone so delicate. 
If anything you should be thanking her for sparing you with a little bit of time, thanking her for even allowing someone like you to be in the presence of someone like her. 
You nodded your head not able to let a single word out, afraid to embarrass yourself. With a smile Wonyoung locked her arm with yours, and kept you close by her side as she showed you around the place. 
“This is the cafeteria, but I wouldn't recommend you going there, the food is awful” she said, and you laughed lightly at her expression. 
Was it awful cause it wasn't a three course meal with caviar, steak and truffles for dessert or was it actually not that good. You really did not fit in here and you haven't met anyone else.
“Well I see that guy is enjoying it” you commented, noticing a tall, skinny boy laughing with his friend as he consumed something you couldn't quite recognize. 
Wonyoung laughed, in the most elegant way possible, and her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink “That’s Park Sunghoon, my boyfriend. He will eat anything, seriously” she stated and you nodded with a chuckle. 
Park Sunghoon was son to Park Jiwon, the CEO of ParkJin Electronics. His mother had worked hard all her life to build up her own empire, resulting in him being raised mainly by nannies and his cousins. Still, he was spoiled and cocky, his family allegedly had royal roots, and even though he didn't know himself, he boasted about it every single occasion he got. He didn't seem to care much about studying, since he was the only child his mother ever had, he was next in line to inherit her electronic empire. Yet something in him felt the desire to prove to everyone that no matter what, he deserved to take over.  
He also surrounded himself with people of the same social status and net worth as him, so that’s probably why he treated Wonyoung so differently, even though she was his literal girlfriend. Wonyoung was rich, but she could never compare to the millions his mother earned yearly. 
Yet he was so good at pretending and gaslighting the girl into believing she's the bad person for lashing out on him after he called her ‘the type of person who polishes shoes for people like him’. He was just joking around, right? But the poor girl took it because the good moments overshadowed the absolute idiot Park Sunghoon was capable of being. 
“And next to him? Who’s that” you asked, politely pointing towards the blond boy next to him who’s jawline looked like it was shaped by Micheal Angelo himself. 
“That’s Jongseong, but we just call him Jay,” Wonyoung answered, looking at you with a pretty smile. Did everything she does have to be so annoyingly beautiful and perfect? 
Park Jay was born in Seattle, so he was the American heartthrob that flexed his posh English skills in order to pull girls he had no interest in having serious relationships with. His dad owned the biggest hospital in the country, and on top of that had plastic surgery salons opened in practically every city. His parents had divorced when his dad's businesses started to gain popularity and bring in more money. His father assumed that his wife no longer appealed to him, and she would just be like a parasite- living off of his success. And since Jay had been harshly raised by his rough father, he shared the same opinion about his mother. Not having a motherly figure present in his life, surrounding himself with his fathers girlfriends who were only 10 years older than him, he became a Andrew Tate worshiping incel who’s main focus was making money and convincing everyone to join his self-betterment program. 
“He’s nice, but I think his political and social views are a little far from the ones that girls like us have” she attempted to explain, and pretty quickly you understood he’s a misogynist. 
“I see, is your boyfriend the same?” you asked, trying to sound as polite as you can, since you didn't quite know where Wonyoung wouldl draw the line. 
“No, at least I’d hope he isn't” she chuckled lightly, and slowly tugged you towards another large hall in the school “He was raised by women, his dad passed away when he was around 3, so I guess he has at least some respect for us” she added, and you nodded in understanding. 
“This school is really freaking big, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find my way around here” you commented and she chuckled at your use of words. 
“You can say fucking, I really don’t mind” Wonyoung looked at you, and you breathed out a steady breath “I don’t want you to think of us as some posh, elegant and royal like teenagers who use a fork and knife every time they eat. I genuinely think most of us are pretty normal considering our backgrounds” she explained, and you had to stifle a laugh. 
Although Wonyoung seemed like an incredibly nice and sweet girl, she truly had no idea how privileged she was. Truly, her only worry was you not thinking she’s a snobby rich kid. And that applied to all of them, you just didn't see yourself empathizing with these people, seeing how you were raised in two completely different worlds. 
“It’s my first time talking to people like you, don't have much experience” you smiled and raised your hands in guilt. 
She laughed at your action, and asked “What do you mean, what do your parents do then?” 
You didn't want to answer that question, you didn't even want anyone to ask it in the first place. But you had to answer honestly. 
“Both of my parents live overseas, but they're no one special. My dad is a construction worker and my mom has a simple office job” you said, and she didn't seem to laugh or find your parents’ profession amusing in any way “I live with my brother, he’s a surgeon” you added, and she seemed to light up at the mention. 
“I want to be a surgeon too!” she beamed and you smiled as she ignored and didn't care about the fact that you weren't the future heiress of a major conglomerate “I need to speak to your brother one day, maybe he’ll give me some advice” she added and with a smile you assured her you’ll set up a meeting for the two of them one day. 
She pulled you through a dark, narrow, dimly lit hallway to a giant room with a high ceiling where most of the students were currently spending their time. 
“This is the common room” she said, as the two of you stood in the entryway. 
Laughter ringed in your ears as you attempted to examine every student present in the area. 
“Let me introduce you to Niki!” she beamed and pulled your wrist towards the unknown boy. 
Niki was the son of the owners of the biggest pharmaceutical company in the country. Even though he had no interest in taking over the business, his younger sister wasn't seen as competent enough to take over, so he was forced to be the next CEO. His parents and Jay’s father were close friends, planning on merging the two companies by arranging a marriage between Jay’s younger sister and Niki. His true passion was dance, he hated everything that had to do with medication, but he knew there was no chance he’d ever get to pursue his passion for a living. 
“Niki!” she called to the boy, and he turned around, swiftly taking off his headphones. 
“Not gonna go shop for makeup with you today, forget it” he claimed, not even noticing you standing right next to her. 
“Oh please, as if I’d want to go with you” she sneered and he chuckled under his breath. “I wanted to introduce you to Y/n, she’s new here!” she continued, and he took a judging look at you. 
Or at least it felt as if he was judging you, scanning you up and down as if you weren't wearing the same exact uniform as him. But quickly he shot you with a small smile, and stuck his hand out for you to shake. You applied and as nicely as you could, returned the expression. 
“You’ll regret coming here, Y/n” he warned with a laugh, and you chuckled, but deep down felt like maybe he wasn't joking. 
“Stop scaring her” Wonyoung said sternly, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow “I like it here, don’t listen to him Y/nnie” 
“Maybe because you're a fucking nerd who’s a teachers pet?” he asked sarcastically, and Wonyoung just rolled her eyes playfully. 
You stood there listening to their bickering, already getting a weird feeling that you didn't really belong here, these people were not the usual kind you surround yourself with. 
“What brings you here?” he asked, which turned your attention back to the two people in front of you. 
“I got an invitation, full ride scholarship and all” you explained and his eyes widened. 
“You're a smart girl, aren't you?” he asked, and you chuckled lightly. 
“You could say that, I guess” you said, and he looked towards Wonyoung. 
“I guess you’ll finally have a smarty pants friend to talk to about the theory of relativity, or whatever you call it” he cooed, and she flipped him off. 
“Jake used to be my nerdy bestie, well until he started hanging out with Jay and attending his dumbass courses” she laughed looking towards you, and he did the same nodding his head. 
“Let’s be honest, ever since they created their little frat circle with Heeseung and Sunghoon, they suffered insane brain damage. But the courses were also bad enough” Niki inquired, and she laughed, agreeing with him. 
Jake’s parents were real estate giants, owning at least half of the properties in the city. He had been raised with the thought of taking over his parents’ business, so he was actually the only one in his friend circle that studied and strived to achieve something. His mother or father would never let him take over if he had nothing in his head. Jake actually wanted to become a real estate agent, because after seeing his parents succeed, he wanted to be just like them. 
“What exactly are these courses about?” you asked, and Niki quickly opened his phone to show you the website Jay and his computer geek friend Jungwon set up. 
You didn't even bother asking the boy how he managed to sneak a phone in, assuming the one lying in the basket at the front desk, was probably one of his many devices. 
“He tries to convince men that they need to unleash their inner sigma to fully embrace their manliness or something like that” he explained as you grabbed his phone to look through the website. 
It looked like a failed IT project they had to do in class, and honestly you didn't understand why anyone would trust him enough to receive life advice. 
“I can't believe that people actually listen to his advice” you commented, handing back Niki his phone. 
“That’s not even the worst of it, he genuinely thinks that if men were to become pregnant, they would give birth in two weeks since they’re stronger, something along those lines” Wonyoung added, and you couldn't help but burst out laughing. 
Maybe you were getting along with them, but the eerie atmosphere around you and the blank stares you received from other students grounded you. 
“Yo new girl, wanna come to a party tonight?” Niki turned towards you with a questioning expression. 
You have been studying your whole life, cramming information until late hours of the night, which resulted in you having to give up your social life or anything of that sort. You had friends, but never the time to go out with them. So this would be your first party ever, and you had no idea how to behave. 
“Sure,” you replied, not giving it any more thought. If you started overthinking it, you’d probably deny the request. 
“Put in your number, I’ll send you the address” he gave you his phone once again, and you swiftly typed in your digits, saving your contact under ‘Song Y/n’. 
“Show me your schedule, I’ll walk you to your next class” Wonyoung turned to you, and you dug up the crumbled piece of paper you received at the front office. 
_______
Niki had eventually texted you the address, offering a ride along with it, unless you already had one. You gladly accepted his offer, although his kindness seemed weird and suspicious to you. 
Maybe you just weren't used to people being nice to you simply out of human decency and without any ulterior motives, but someone as high up and rich as Niki or Wonyoung should not be bothered by someone like you. They definitely shouldn't be offering you rides in their expensive sports cars. 
“Oh c’mon Wony, we gotta give our transfer the princess treatment” he said, shooing her away from the passenger seat with his hand. 
She rolled her eyes playfully, but agreed to give up her front seat, which you tried to convince her to take back for a little over a minute. 
“No Y/nnie, you're probably going to meet our little devil tonight, you need as much peace as you can get before that” she assured, and you just shook your head at her reluctance. 
“And who exactly are you talking about?” you asked, turning around to once again face Wonyoung who already got comfortable in the back seat.
“I’ll ask you that question tomorrow morning, it’s more fun that we keep it a secret for now” she giggled childishly, and Niki nodded his head approvingly at her idea. 
You sighed sarcastically, and tried to remember any person they didn't go into full detail about just a couple of hours ago. Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, all of them kept getting mixed up in your head as you had no real idea as to what the three looked like. You passed by the cafeteria with Wonyoung earlier, where you didn’t quite register what Jay and Sunghoon looked like. Maybe it’s someone completely different, or someone affiliated with the three guys you had a fair amount of information about. 
“You drink, don’t you?” Niki asked, turning his head to face you for just a mere second, before focusing his eyes back on the road. 
“Not really” you answered unbothered. 
Drinking was nothing to be proud about anyways, and assuming Niki doesn't want to lose his recently acquired drivers license, he probably wasn't going to do it either. 
“Same here. Me and Wony don’t drink” he smiled “But the rest of them, their a different kind of fucked up. Especially your precious, sweet, innocent boyfriend, Wonyoung” he added, and looked at the girl through his rear view mirror. 
She screwed her face jokingly “Sunghoon doesn't drink that much, at least now that he’s with me” she defended, and he scoffed. 
“And you’re stupid for thinking he’s not getting shit faced every weekend with his demonic cult of a friend group” he commented, and she huffed in annoyance crossing her arms. 
“Y/nnie, you know what Hoon looks like, right?” she turned her attention to you. 
You shook your head, causing her to pull out her phone in order to present you with pictures of her beloved boyfriend. 
He was smoking fucking hot, but his expression and lack of emotion on every picture made you think that maybe Niki was right, he truly looked like he didn't give a single fuck about the girl. Well it seems to be working out for them so far, so who are you to butt in. 
“Keep an eye on him, I need to prove that my boyfriend is not the alcoholic and druggie you-” she pointed her finger at Niki “make him out to be” 
“No problem” you smiled and she excitedly held your hand. 
“Just when you do catch him chugging down shot glasses like a pig, don't tell her cause she won't believe you anyways” he murmured, but the both of you heard him anyways. 
You turned to Wonyoung and rolled your eyes playfully which she gave you a hushed giggle at, agreeing with whatever you were thinking about. 
The road felt like it had been going on forever, you swore you already saw the same street signs and lanterns a couple minutes back. It felt like Niki had been going in circles, but those thoughts were most likely caused by your absence in this area of town. 
After what felt like an eternity in Niki’s uncomfortable low-floor car, that was impossible to get comfortable in, he had finally pulled over into a gravel filled space. In the distance a modern house was illuminated by colorful lights, and the music could be quietly heard from the place you were standing in. 
The interior of the place was suffocating you, the music giving you a headache, the smell of cigarettes, weed, alcohol and sweat seeping into your skin, as you and Wonyoung pushed through the crowd. Wonyoung didn't seem to be affected as she pushed through the bodies in order to find her boyfriend who she must have missed terribly for the past five hours. 
“Sunghoonnie!” she beamed, and his body instantly turned to the sound of her squeaky voice. 
He was hard to read, you didn't exactly know if he was excited to see her or praying for her to leave him and his friends alone. He held a glass with a brownish liquid in his hand, and you knew for a fact Wonyoung was trying to ignore it or pretend it wasn't what everyone else knew it was. 
Sunghoon was obviously drinking whiskey. 
Even they're choice of alcohol was so different from what you knew back in your public school. Those kids could barely afford the cheapest liquor, and here you were witnessing Sunghoon and his friends downing bottles worth more than the pocket money your brother gave you every month. 
“Oh great, two Wonyoung’s. Can’t women just stick to painting their nails and doing their makeup? This is not the place for you” Jay commented as he finally noticed the two of you. 
“Did your daddy teach you that? I wasn't talking to you, dickhead” the girl next to you answered with a sarcastic pout to her face. 
“I’m Jake” the brown haired boy stuck his hand out “You're new, right?” 
Wonyoung had already let you go to entertain her boyfriend who obviously was not having it. Even as she was eating his face, he wasn't half as passionate about it as she was. 
“Yeah” you took his hand “Y/n” 
He had a devilish grin as he and the blond boy exchanged glances. 
“So where are you coming from?” Jake asked, but his eyes weren't even focused on your face, instead staring right into your partially exposed chest. 
You sighed, and leaned against the wall “Doesn't matter” maybe you had a terrible judgment of character, but you knew that admitting to coming from a public, low income school would end you right then and there. 
“You’re right, it doesn't” he smirked, hoping that you had understood his intentions by now, “Want a drink?” he asked, turning around to unveil a couple glasses and a bottle of Dalmore whiskey. 
“I don't really drink” you explained, trying to keep up with your nonchalant facade that you prayed would spare you some embarrassment tonight. 
It felt stressful to be around them, their demeanor intimidating. 
“Oh c’mon, one little glass never hurt anyone” Jay uttered, already pouring a glass that he was shoving into your hand a couple seconds later. 
He looked incredibly hot doing so, his slicked back blond hair and white button down almost making you forget he’s a mentally unstable and misogynistic idiot. 
Did they all have to be so irresistibly hot? Was being rich not enough? 
“Drink it, there’s a reward afterwards” he added, as his attempts to place the glass in your hand turned out to be successful. 
“Only if you’re a good girl” Jake added, and Jay with a devilish smile hit his shoulder. 
You examined the glass, remembering all the stories of boys spiking drinks with drugs that Eunseok told you about, but all that seemed so unimportant right now. 
You promised yourself to never go against what your mind told you, but that was broken the minute you downed the glass, the unfamiliar, burning flavor coating your throat. 
“Atta girl” Jake praised, as he took the glass from your hand.
“Women are so easy, it’s crazy” Jay whispered, assuring you wouldn't hear his words “Let me pour you another one” he said, his voice a little louder this time. 
You shook your head, but he seemed to ignore that all together, grabbing the cup and filling it to the brim once again. 
“Drink up” Jake slurred, and focused his eyes onto the way your throat looked while you swallowed the liquid. 
They were disgusting. The way they objectified you, the way they looked at you like you were going to let them hit without any problems. 
The boys you knew would make jokes, but they’d never act on it like Jay and Jake did. 
You slammed the glass on the table where it was previously laid, and without a word turned away from the two men who were clearly confused about your sudden departure. 
“We’ll see each other soon, yeah?” Jake called, and with a forced smile you mouthed a ‘Maybe’. 
“She still doesn't know about all the filth that goes on in here, eh?” Jay chuckled devilishly, and Jake smirked, pouring himself a drink in the cup you left behind. 
You had already thought that Wonyoung and Niki were completely different from the people you used to surround yourself with, but after meeting Jake and Jay, you cursed yourself for even thinking that. You had given up your social life, so meeting new people regularly was never something that you did, but you never met someone so deranged. Were the girls at this school all so easy and compliant to their orders? You just wondered where their ego came from. 
Squeezing through all the damp bodies was definitely a challenge, but finding a quiet and empty room surely made it worth it. 
The room was practically empty, you assumed something that was supposed to resemble a guest bedroom, but you doubted any guest would wanna sleep here. A single bed in the middle of the large room was not enough. 
You closed the door behind you with a quiet squeak, and threw yourself on the bed, your eyes facing the ceiling. 
Amongst the weird smell that surrounded the room a voice called you “You're the new girl, aren't you?” 
You didn't notice the open balcony door upon entering. 
Your body automatically turned to face the voice, a handsome and presumably tall boy sat on one of the plastic chairs. Smoke circled around him as he looked at you with heavy eyelids, taking another hit from the joint between his fingers. 
You leaned your head on the palm of your hand “How do you know?” 
“News spreads fast around here. You don’t know, do you?” he gave you a childish smile, and with a nod to his head he without a word offered you to smoke with him, which you declined. 
“What’s your name?” you asked him, his dark eyes bringing discomfort to your body. 
“Why should I tell you, transfer?” he laughed, and you stiffened up at his answer. “It’s Heeseung” he said after a moment, noticing that you were not enjoying his jokes. 
Lee Heeseung was the youngest son of Lee Guwon and Kim Shinhye, the founders and owners of the largest hotel line in the country. They just recently went international, opening yet another hotel-restaurant in the heart of Singapore. His older sister, Lee Rina, had no interest in the company, firmly convinced that it's a greedy industry. She moved to Norway to study and just never came back. But his older brother, Lee Haejun, was different. He was stuck on the idea of becoming the next CEO. After both him and Heeseung were old enough to understand what benefits came with being a leader of a major hotel line, they stopped treating each other like brothers, instead focusing on the rivalry that was brewing. They wanted so badly to prove to their father who's more competent, who deserves it more, that at one point it became too much. 
Heeseung at one point no longer wanted any of it. He just wanted his brother back. Haejun just never was the same brother Heeseung learned to love. He didn't care. Heeseung felt like he lost both of his siblings although they weren't actually gone. 
“I don’t think they mentioned you” you murmured, trying to recall the conversations you had with Wonyoung and Niki. 
“Wonyoung and Niki? Probably because they don't like me” he laughed, and put out his blunt on the tiles of the balcony, throwing what was left into a jar filled with water. 
“They like everyone, I think it’s a ‘you’ problem” you assumed, and he scoffed. 
His body sluggishly stood up from the chair, as he tried to not fall over the balcony “Both of them are fake as fuck, and I don’t think you’re one to judge” 
You sighed “You don’t know them” 
“I know them better than you, transfer” he chuckled, “They always cuddle up to new students, just like Wonyoung did to Jake, and whenever they go slightly out of line, they drop them” he explained, and you foolishly didn't believe his words, choosing to stand with your new friends who you in reality, knew nothing about. 
“I don’t know, I don't think the Jake that I just met, and got forced to drink by, is a good example” you murmured, playing with your hair, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 
He had this dark aura surrounding him, his hooded eyes just adding into his image, making him look much more scary. 
He slowly moved towards you, accompanying you on the silk covered bed. That’s when you could truly analyze his face; bloodshot, brown eyes, a curve to his lips, his nose slightly pointed and eyebrows straight. His skin was glistening, a soft tan to it. He looked at you so intensely, and you couldn't quite reciprocate, scared of his intimidating presence. 
“Jake was always like this, they just didn't know how to handle him” he smiled, his hand inching closer to where your legs lied “They love saying that Jay ruined him, but he didn't even have to do that” 
“What do you mean by having to do that? Why would he have to?” you asked, as your body froze, not allowing you to move further away from him. 
He didn't stop attempting to close the gap between the two of you “You know what I mean” he smirked “This isn't the place you think it is, pretty girl. We can't have a goody two shoes prancing around” his smile was straight, as his hand moved to sooth your lower thigh. 
You never were this close to a boy before. 
“I still don't get it” you said, your voice trembling as he moved further up. 
“You don't need to, you’ll see for yourself. Soon, don't worry” he cooed, and you could feel his sinister words burn through your skin. 
“You like this? Tell me” he asked, his grip on your thigh tightened, and you felt words get stuck in your throat. 
“ I don’t know you, Heeseung” you answered out of breath. 
He liked the way his name slipped from your lips, your tone mellow and soothing. He could definitely get used to it. 
“You don’t need to know everyone you want to have a little fun with” his eyes twinkled slightly, as he spoke softly, trying to distract you from his touch moving to places you  probably wouldn't like him being in. 
“Do you do this to every girl you just meet?” you piqued, and he chuckled, finally taking out his hand from under your dress in order to move a strand of hair out of your face. 
“Only the ones I find pretty” he answered. 
Heeseung was such a lightweight, he couldn't stop his smile and laughter as he played with you, knowing you could pretend, but not resist him. He wanted to undress you right there and then, behind an unlocked door, which he’d hoped some disgusting pervert like Jake would open, they could perhaps have you together, share your body. But he was smarter than that. He couldn't alienate you so early on. 
“Maybe another time” you murmured, giving up your previous position to stand up from the bed. 
He didn't let you, standing up with you, blocking you from walking to the door. He stumbled a little bit, but managed to hold you down. 
“You wanted to get to know me, what happened to that?” he whispered. 
“I never said that” you replied, and attempted once again to leave the room. 
No one has ever had this effect on you. You didn't truly want to leave, not only his firm stance was keeping you away from that door. 
You had boyfriends, but all of them were too scared to even hold your hand in public, not to mention kiss you. So you were aware of these things, but not familiar with them. 
“Why do you have to be so tough? I just want to make you feel good? What’s the crime in that?” he cooed, and brought his hand up to caress your cheek. 
“I always wanted it to be special, not some one night stand” you voiced, and he hummed. 
It felt so weird and embarrassing to talk to him like this. You didn't know him. You also couldn't say no, cause some part of you wanted it too. 
Maybe it’s because you wanted to fit in, maybe because you didn't want to be any different from the people that went to this school. But you’d always be different- as long as your parents weren't owners of a giant conglomerate or business, you’d always be different. 
“My sweet girl is a virgin? That’s okay, don’t be embarrassed” he cooed, and squeezed your hand tightly. 
You never knew how hard it is to be sober and talk to a high person. He just didn't fully comprehend the environment that surrounded him, not a single ounce of fear or embarrassment in his veins, just nothingness. 
“Can I kiss you?” he asked with a soft voice.
Heeseung knew exactly what he was doing, he knew exactly how his slurred words sounded and how they affected you. 
You nodded, and he grabbed your jaw, pulling you into his embrace. Nothing could have prepared you for his wet, plump lips that molded perfectly into yours. You felt so good against him, and he couldn't find himself pulling away, the bulge in his pants growing as you fingers slightly brushed along the longer strands of hair on the back of his head. 
It was all so new to you. Maybe it was the alcohol that Jake and Jay forced down your throat, or maybe you just couldn't help but naturally feel attracted to Heeseung. It’s been barely 24 hours, and you’ve broken all the promises you made to yourself. 
While you were overthinking, Heeseung wondered just how long until he gets to fuck your pretty, virgin hole.  
“Mmm, it wasn't that hard, was it?” he smiled as he was forced to pull away out of lack of air, his eyes practically closing on him. 
You avoided his gaze, a small smile on your swollen lips. He laughed softly, and grabbed your hand in his. 
“I just want to help you. You’re a big girl, you should know how the world works” he cooed, dumbing you down. But you accepted it. Every word of his you took in and analyzed. Maybe he was right. 
He was this big, important rich guy from an important family, and you were just living in his world. You were nothing like him, his worries surrounded taking over the company or not, while you had to wonder if you had the money to go out with your friend on the weekend. You could try, but you’ll never be the same. 
And Heeseung knew that. He knew how much power he had over you simply because his bank account was decorated by nothing less than quadruple digits. 
“I don’t think you should be hanging out with Wonyoung and Niki. They're fake, you know?” he whispered, and focused his eyes on you “Let me be the one you come to when you need help, okay?” 
You nodded, and he just hummed in approval, liking the way you agreed with anything he said. 
You knew he was treating you like a child, babying you and bossing you around like he even had any right to do so, but you didn't find yourself stopping him either. 
To you he spoke with such delicacy, and he paid attention to you in a way no one ever has. Heeseung was different from anyone you encountered, and that’s exactly what pulled you in, forcing you to uncover more about him. 
But he just liked how you gave into his words way easier than he thought you would. He never knew it would be this easy to manipulate you. Heeseung never expected you to so naively believe that Wonyoung and Niki were the ones who were going to do you wrong, that they were the ones to cuddle up to new students in order to drop them just moments later. He had you where he wanted you and it didn't even take him a full hour. 
______
“You didn’t text me last night, did you get home alright?” Wonyoung asked, settling down next to you in the study hall. 
You ignored her gaze, her shuffling and moving, making an annoyed groan escape from your lips. 
“Yeah,” you replied swiftly, turning your attention back to the worksheet in front of you. 
Heeseung’s words had stuck with you. You couldn’t fathom the idea of Niki and Wonyoung, one of the nicest, most welcoming people you have ever met, being bullies. But perhaps that was the reason for their warm introduction. They wanted you to trust them. 
Niki, noticing that Wonyoung had finally joined you in the study hall, turned around in his chair, taking out one of his airpods. 
“Did you find who we were talking about in the car? A special someone told me they saw you together last night” Niki smiled widely like an idiot, and Wonyoung giggled, awaiting your answer. 
You scoffed “The so-called devil” and murmured “Heeseung, right? He was very nice, I don’t get it” 
They laughed, and you felt something twist inside of you at the sound of their forced posh, and elegant laughter. 
“That’s the point. He’s nice at first, to get you to like him, trust him, and then he strikes” Niki told, and to you it sounded like he was describing his little mutual admiration circle with Wonyoung. 
“I don’t know, honestly. He seemed like a good person” you inquired quietly, trying to focus on the work you had to do. 
“Let me guess, he asked for consent, or said he ‘just wants to help you’, and you believed he’s a respectful guy? Y/n don’t be so naive” Wonyoung said sternly, and you scoffed, remembering how her boyfriend’s best friends treated you. Sunghoon was probably no different, so who was she to judge? 
“You're dating Sunghoon, Wonyoung. Mind you, he’s one of the all so bad Heeseung’s friends” 
Niki and Wonyoung looked at each other confused, wondering why you were suddenly being so cold and distant. 
“He wasn’t like that always,” she said, and you looked at her questioning. 
“You think people can change so drastically, just like that? He always had it in him, he just found the right people to unleash it with, that’s all” you answered, and she felt her body shift slightly. 
Sunghoon transferred to Saint Matthews in his sophomore year, after studying abroad in an international school in Singapore. No one could really know if Sunghoon was any different before he joined, because he almost immediately hit it off with Heeseung, and his friend group. 
“You don’t know what you're talking about” Niki said, with an annoyed look on his face. 
“Oh kill me then. All I know is the shitty little gig you’re playing on me. I know what you guys do to new students- shape them to be your perfect little servant, and then drop them when it stops being amusing to you. Just like you did to Jake. So stop trying to blame everything on Heeseung when you know damn well he's not a bad person” you replied frustrated, collecting all your things, and standing up to leave the space. 
Niki and Wonyoung were stunned at your words, following you until you disappeared out the door. 
They realized you truly had met Heeseung, and that there was no turning back now. 
Just like any girl, he had you tied to his leash, and they were powerless. 
____
“Yeah, it’s crazy. I didn’t expect her to fold so easily” Heeseung laughed, as he downed another shot of tequila Jay stole from his dads alcohol cabinet. His father owned so many bottles he probably wouldn’t notice one of them went missing. 
Just like he didn’t notice his son's worsening alcoholic tendencies. 
“No trust me, she didn’t even fight back that much when we offered her whiskey” Jake sneered, and Jay grinned evilly. 
Jay was the first one to notice you. He caught a glimpse of you as you stood so shyly in the cafeterias entryway, Wonyoung happily talking to you, as you looked around the place. He didn’t recognize your face.  
You were pretty to him. Your face gleaned with innocence, and he could smell the way you were so intimidated by the people and sinister atmosphere of the school. He couldn’t even bother listening to whatever Sunghoon was going on about next to his ear, focused on only you. He knew exactly what happened to sweet girls like you, and he couldn’t wait for it. 
And maybe at one point in time he could have you too. His big hands would slowly take off your shirt, his fingers slipping down under your jeans, pressing against your pulsing core. You’d tell him to stop, and he’d only laugh in your ear, unbuckling his belt. 
“Wonyoung said she flipped off on them today when they mentioned you” Sunghoon tuned to Heeseung, pouring himself another shot “Niki said it’s like this with every girl, and she totally went bonkers on them or some shit” he laughed before his face twisted as the burning liquid slid down his throat. 
“That’s so pathetic. She doesn’t even know him” Jake chuckled, and leaned back in his seat, his back melting into the soft cushion. 
“That’s like the whole point, she isn’t supposed to know,” Heeseung noted, and they nodded slightly. “And I don’t think that’s more pathetic than Wonyoung leeching onto Sunghoon even though he doesn’t even hide the fact he doesn’t like her in the slightest” 
Jay scoffed sarcastically “Defending her so quickly, sure” he hummed, and Heeseung rolled his eyes. 
“My mom got her a campaign with our company, and now she thinks we’re gonna get married. It’s so annoying” Sunghoon explained, and they laughed. 
“Then just breakup with her. She needs you, but you don’t need her, dude” Jake commented, and Sunghoon shook his head lively. 
“She’s nice to have around. And it’s not like I don’t like her at all, she just gets on my nerves” he explained. 
“When my mom pissed off my dad, she got divorce papers handed to her, and kicked out the door. Women are supposed to serve men, not be an obstacle. All she is, is an obstacle. You’re taking over your mom’s company, you can’t let her get in the way” Jay turned to Sunghoon, who just pretended to listen to his nonsense. 
Maybe Jay was one of his best friends, but he couldn’t bear listening to his bullshit. He grew up around women- a single mother, his nannies who were strictly women (since his mother didn’t trust men around her only child), and cousins who were practically only girls. He knew women could achieve things alone, his mother being his best example. 
“So, what is your plan?” Jake averted his gaze to Heeseung, who didn’t seem to be amused by the conversation surrounding you and Wonyoung. 
“Was there ever a plan? She doesn’t even put up a fight, and already blew up on her new friends. This won’t be hard” he answered, and Jake nodded, satisfied with Heeseung’s answer. 
“I think you guys are wasting your time, honestly” Sunghoon commented. 
Jay looked at him annoyed “You and your feminist bullshit again” he murmured, and didn’t even bother pouring the substance into his shot glass, drinking straight from the bottle. 
“Jesus Christ, Jay. Just cause I have the tiniest percentage of respect for women, doesn’t mean I’m some fucking feminist. I’m not stopping you from seducing that girl, I just think it’s a waste of time. If you want pussy so bad, just find yourself a hook up, it’s not that hard” he answered, and Jay seemed to accept his answer, too tired to start another fight about this with his friend. 
“We’re only 19, Sunghoon. It won't hurt to have some fun while we can” Jake piqued, and with a swift movement of his hand, grabbed the bottle from the floor, tilting it to pour the rest of liquid into his mouth. 
“I just think that's kind of unappreciative” he murmured, and all of them turned to him. Jay rolled his eyes and with a sigh ushered Sunghoon to continue “A shit load of kids our age don't get to have half the opportunities we do, so if I were you I wouldn't fuck around so much, but actually put in the work to maybe prove that we aren't fucking imbeciles who just sit around and get chauffeured all day” he explained, and they all looked at him with a confused gaze. 
“Says the one who is failing practically all his classes. And what does any of that have to do with Y/n? What do you like her or something? You can hit if you want, it’s an open game” Jay laughed, and Sunghoon sighed.
But he wasn't annoyed, just incredibly frustrated that none of his friends understood what he was trying to convey to them. 
He didn't study, at least not much, and even though he was always aware of the fact that he will most definitely take over his mothers company, he didn't quite like the idea of people thinking he only did because there were no other options. In some way he wanted to earn it, or at least feel like he did deserve it. 
“It’s most definitely not an open game” Heeseung commented, and Jay looked at him with wide eyes. 
“What? C’mon dude, she’s some public school transfer, it’s just fun and games. Don't start being all protective and jealous over her” he scoffed, this being the second time that Heeseung made a comment of that sort about you. 
Jay didn't like this new found protectiveness Heeseung had acquired for you even though barely 24 hours ago he was making equally nasty and perverted comments about you. 
“You're being an asshole today, you know that right?” Heeseung started, his eyes scanning the room, avoiding Jay. 
“I’m being an asshole? All of you suddenly started acting like some fuckass henpecked husbands, when this would be the exact behavior you’d make fun of just a month ago” he groaned, gritting his teeth. 
“I’m sorry Jay that your mom doesn't love you, and your dad only sees you as a token of business, but we weren't raised like that” Sunghoon said, standing up from his seat, ready to leave. 
“That’s fucked up Hoon” Jake whispered, looking at Jay’s spechless expression. 
“You know what else is fucked up Jake? That Jay is a fucking misogynist and Heeseung is some otherworldly type of addict and no is trying to help them. I have been the only person who has been putting in the slightest amount of effort to try and get them help, but I can't possibly do it alone. That’s fucked up Jaeyun. I’m leaving” he blew up, grabbing all his things, and with a tired sigh he left the living room, going straight for the door. 
It was true. Maybe Sunghoon was an idiot and sometimes acted like a huge asshole, but he was right. He loved his friends and seeing them ruin and throw their lives away hurt him. But everyone who was caught up in the same wind, didn't seem to notice. 
“Call me when you fucking grow up, Sunghoon” Jay shouted, an angered expression plastered all over his face as the door slams abruptly. 
All three of them sat in silence as they tried to figure out what happened in the span of just a couple minutes. How did the conversation come down to Jay and Heeseung having issues, and why was Sunghoon suddenly trying to act all sweet and caring when he never did care.
 Or at least they didn't notice the countless times Sunghoon tried to stop them, but to no avail. 
“I think I’m gonna go too,” Heeseung said, after a moment of dead silence. 
Without a word, Jay and Jake nodded, still not quite present in the moment. 
That’s exactly how Heeseung ended up in your home, dumping all his issues onto you as you attempted to comfort him with a slight brush of your fingers against his soft hair. 
Your outbreak with Wonyoung and Niki, left you feeling alone once again. Those thoughts kept eating you alive, but you knew that's exactly what they wanted. They wanted you to desperately crawl back to them, begging for another chance as you cried out an apology. 
You knew that coming back to them would only prove this (untrue) point of them using you and many others for their own pleasure. Turning around, and apologizing would hurt your pride beyond repair. 
And it wasn't like Heeseung was making this up either. His heart genuinely cracked at the sight of his friends fighting. 
They fought, all the time, but there was no comparing this to a fight over who gets to take the first hit or who gets to play the better character, to Sunghoon leaving completely, his harsh words still lingering in the air. 
He wasn't an addict. He was a normal teenager doing normal teenager things. He wasn't wrong for being curious.
“I’m happy that you stood up for me today, at study hall” he said, his voice low as your touch was putting him in a sleepy state. 
“How do you know about that?” you asked, not even having the time to tell him about it. 
He smiled, rolling on his side to face you “Sunghoon told me” 
“Are you really not mad at me?” you tilted your head curiously. 
He laughed, and lifting himself from your lap, he grabbed your hand in his. You could feel his warm touch embrace you fully, the action alone was enough to calm your uneasy heart. 
“No one stands up for me. I could never be mad at you for being on my side even though you barely know me” he admitted, and it made your plush lips form into a small smile. 
“Your friends never stand up for you? I find that hard to believe, Hee” 
He likes the way his name slips from your lips, the usage of the nickname forcing him to stifle the growing, uncomfortable feeling in his pants. He hated the fact that he had to control himself around you. But still, he loved the innocent look on your face as you were so oblivious to the boner in his pants. 
“They just don't know how to, I think,” he said in a whisper. “They're too caught up in their own lives, and I don't blame them. They have a lot on their plate as it is” he added, his lips forming into a straight smile, as he tried to look apologetic in front of you. 
Heeseung wanted you to see him as this complex, emotional being that's only purpose on earth is to help others. His financial situation wasn't helping him create this image, he feared that you’d think he’s just searching for problems, wanting to experience life with all the hardships that a person like him doesn't usually get bothered by. 
But you never thought so, you viewed Heeseung the exact way he wanted you to. You believed in every word he said. If only he knew that though, his cocky nature would probably fight its way to domination. 
“You’re a good friend, Heeseung” you smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. He chuckled lightly, looking at you with the same straight smile “You have me now, you know that? You said you’d help me whenever, and I want to do the same for you” 
You vividly remember his lips on yours. You can recall exactly how he tasted and how he felt against your own skin. He helped you reach some otherworldly ecstacy without going further than a simple touch. You knew you wanted him to be more, but it was too early for that admission, too early to let yourself sink in that feeling. 
You didn't understand what was going on between the two of you, where this connection was heading, and in some way it thrilled you. You couldn't possibly be friends, not after what he said that night. 
“I hope you know I meant everything I said” he uttered, and you slowly nodded, trying to recall every word that slipped from his pretty lips “I think you’re special” he added. 
Heeseung didn't know himself if this was all fake, cause at that moment it felt too real to him. He was speaking from his heart, in some way. 
Lee Heeseung was beautiful, the closest you’ll get to any godly figure. He couldn't possibly be flawed in any way. 
But there were some things the boy wouldn't even admit to himself. All the fighting, and neglecting, made him out to be this way. He always longed for the type of love no one but a parent could give him. He wanted to be loved so much it picked him apart. Heeseung never experienced what it’s like to care for someone so much, to care for someone unconditionally. 
And as the youngest sibling, no one had that love for him, because there was someone before him. 
“I’m definitely not special, Hee. It’s all you” you smiled, and he laughed softly, his eyes falling onto his lap as a rosy tint decorated his cheeks. 
“It could always be just us. You could come over, and stay till morning” he turned to you, a newfound sincerity in his eyes, as he spoke to you. 
“You’d want that?” you uttered quietly. 
The faint melody playing from the radio became muffled as you sat next to him. You never felt closer to another person, and it was all so new to you. 
“Mhm, really” he confessed, and you believed. 
It was all so domestic- he wanted to escape his family line, but he behaved just like them. Heeseung could never change the blood he was born with, blood of condescending, arrogant, manipulative, money hungry assholes. 
“Will you promise to stay with me?” he asked, ending the comforting silence that embraced you. 
You laughed lightly, finding his worries sweet “I promise” you said sticking out your pinky finger. 
“You still do that?” he said with a soft chuckle. You pouted awaiting his finger that could solidify the promise. 
He laughed and intertwined his pinky with yours. 
_______ 
Spending time with Heeseung was easy. He just always knew what to say and what to do. He was like the sweetest thing bee’s like you would fly towards. 
He had eventually introduced you to Jake, Jay and Sunghoon who eagerly apologized for coming onto you and forcing alcohol down your throat at the party, and stupidly you laughed it off not wanting to give them reasons to dislike you. 
You wanted to fit in with them. Eunseok wasn't as happy, trying to keep up with your new lifestyle, but something deep inside him didn't want to stop. He knew he owed it to you after the years of neglect his parents had presented you with. After the years of living in his shadow maybe this was the only way to repay you. 
Jake had seemed awfully desperate when you first met him. He looked and acted like one of those sleazy guys who adds girls on snapchat and sends them unsolicited dick pics, but he quickly managed to prove you wrong. You rarely spent time alone with him, almost never, but whenever that moment came, Jake became a completely different person. He was nice. He was actually so painstakingly nice to the point where you would ponder his existence in that friend group. 
And Jay- you felt nothing towards the boy. The one thing Wonyoung and Niki got right was his obvious desire to become a Korean Andrew Tate. He had nothing to give except misogynist comments he’d pretend were only jokes, and if you dared to be offended then you simply had no sense of humor. 
Sunghoon, it was hard to describe him. He just didn't really talk much. He was never there, he wasn't present although sitting just across from the ongoing conversation. Maybe he always was this way, or maybe you were the problem. 
But Heeseung, he felt some kind of obsession towards you. He wanted to carve his initials deep into your skin until you bleed a deep shade of red, all out of love for him. He wanted to touch you in the places your mere, inexperienced fingers couldn't reach. He couldn't understand you, he couldn't bear the fact that you didn't fit into the pattern, and it made him sick. 
“Get a fucking grip Y/n!” Wonyoung screamed, tugging at the thick material of your blazer. 
She pulled you discreetly into a dark hallway that connected the music hall to the rest of the school. 
“Don’t touch me” you uttered, trying to peer away from the girl. 
Wonyoung didn't look mad, angry, her face was full of desperation as her glassy eyes looked at your tired face. 
“Don't you see what he’s doing to you? He’s trying to ruin you. Why are you being so fucking stubborn!” she begged for understandment but your face was blank. 
“Are you jealous? What is this about, Wonyoung? God, If you want Sunghoon’s attention then go ask him for it. I don’t know you, and you don't know me” you grit your teeth, as she looked at you terrified. 
“What are you even talking about?” she uttered, her voice cracking. 
“I’m done playing your game. Find another person to play with, I’m sure there's plenty” you replied. 
“Y/n you're not one of us. You never will be, so stop trying so hard. Getting with Heeseung won't help you fit in either. And you better not come to me when he destroys whatever reputation you have left” her words were harsh, and it seemed like your mention of Sunghoon riled her up completely. 
Wonyoung and Sunghoon have been dating for a while now. Only Wonyoung would know the exact timeline since Sunghoon had no interest in celebrating milestones with the girl. 
It wasn't like he didn't like her at all, he wouldn't give her the time of day if that was the case. He just found it thrilling and entertaining, the way she called his name, the way she’d give up everything for him if he asked. Sunghoon’s mother had set him up with the eldest daughter of Taesung Group the moment she found out he’d be a boy, so to him, Wonyoung was just a distraction from the tiring business life his mother engulfed him in. 
“Give it up, Jang Wonyoung” a male voice echoed, footsteps coming closer. 
She looked disgusted when the vision of the boy became clearer. 
“Didn't manipulate her enough today, so you had to come do it here? Fuck off, Heeseung” she sneared. 
Heeseung laughed, and grabbed your hand ostentatiously. Her gaze was glued to your intertwined hands. It made you smile slightly, the way her lip twitched at the vision, it was satisfying. 
“No one’s manipulating anyone. Sorry if that messes up your little narrative” he replied, with a smile that made her want to throw up. 
“I’ve been here long enough to know that's bullshit. You’re full of shit, Lee Heeseung” 
Your eyes flew back and forth as you tried to analyze everything about the situation. 
“Open your eyes, Y/n. Can’t you see it?” she whispered, her expression changing as she turned towards you. 
“I’m not like you, remember? So stop trying to give me advice, it’s pathetic” you voiced, and she scoffed.
“Did she say that to you” Heeseung looked down at you worriedly, and as soon as you nodded slightly, he looked back up to Wonyoung “And I’m the bad guy? At least she didn't have to convince Kim Sunoo’s parents to forcibly get her into the school” he smirked, and Wonyoung with a frustrated groan, positioned her body towards the music hall, leaving you two in the eerie hallway. 
Wonyoung was the best scoring student, but things used to be completely different. She despised studying, keeping a large distance from all sorts of books. But her parents couldn't fathom the idea that Wonyoung would not attend Saint Matthews. So with a bottle of expensive wine and some sweet words, the girl's parents got her in using their connection to Kim Sunoo’s parents who were major politicians in the country. 
She didn't like people bringing that up ever since it drunkenly slipped her while at a birthday party, so Heeseung exposing it in front of you had her embarrassed for the rest of the day. She wanted you to believe her badly, but the revelations only confirmed all your speculations about the girl, making it practically impossible for you to listen to anything she has to say to you from now on. 
… 
“God Wonyoung is such a bitch! Is she jealous? What is her issue seriously” you complained, pacing around Heeseung’s terrifyingly large room. 
It was your first time over at the boys house. It was unusual for you, all the maids showing you around, treating you like royalty, guiding you to every room. Their fake smiles, and forced acts of kindness made you sick. 
His house was colossal, massive, it extended into a vast land and the drive up to it alone was long-lasting. The walk from your apartment to a nearby store wasn’t half the length of his home, and it was appalling to you in a way. 
Heeseung’s room, for contrast, was bright, warm and welcoming. The sunlight shined down on his belongings from the ceiling high window, creating a special space where all his piano, guitars and other musical instruments lay. You recall him telling you about his passion for music, but you took it as more of an underground soundcloud rapper type of situation. 
“It’s just Sunghoon. It’s always been about Sunghoon” he answered calmly, sitting down on his couch, and with his wrought hand, patted down his lap, beckoning you to come to him. 
“Your friends are nice, and all, but you know nothing can substitute a girl best-friend. I just hoped she would be different” you sighed, and placing yourself on Heeseung’s lap, your arms automatically wrapped around his neck, head slightly leaning on his shoulder. 
His hands instinctively encased your waist, his head moving along with his eyes, as he tried to get a better look at your worn out face. 
For a moment Lee Heeseung felt bad, seeing how much comfort the two of you found in each other, knowing he can’t possibly let this go on longer. It started off with pure lust, a need to ruin the scholarship student that knows nothing about life from this side. Now  he was finding himself wanting more, knowing he can’t give it. 
Heeseung wanted to wreck your innocent image, but found himself losing it far before he even had the chance to start his plan. 
“They’re your friends now too, Y/n” he whispered, the moment feeling way too sacred “She’s lying, you know that right?” he asked after a moment of silence. He looked at you once again, checking for your expression. 
“I know, Seungie” your voice is muffled by the material of his jacket, but he can hear your words loud and clear. 
He feels like all the air in his lungs has been vacuumed up, as his last breath hitches in his throat. He feels sick. Your pretty eyes look at him with so much sincerity, trust, yet all he can think about is vivid images of your small frame under him. He can't help but wonder just how much prettier you’d look with tears in your eyes as you’d tell him it hurts. 
His fingers slightly slide over the buttons of your blouse, as he continues to stare deeply into your face, searching for signs to stop. But you look towards him indifferently, a calm expression decorating your features. 
Heeseung’s hand hovers over your uncovered thigh. He wants to feel the wetness that seeps through your panties on his fingers so badly. He wants to slowly unbutton your blouse, his eyes scanning your figure, his hands grabbing onto anything. 
“Do you want to smoke with me?” he asked, hoping that his lessons on how to properly inhale would lead him to something a little more intimate. 
“I haven't done that yet” you admit, and he chuckles. 
“I know. This could be your first” he smiles “Remember, I told you I want to help you. Well I’m doing it now” he added, quickly 
“Am I going to be fine?” you asked, peeling your head off his shoulder to look at him properly. 
Heeseung smiles leaning back on the couch. His fingers delicately push stray strands of hair behind your ear “I’m fine, so I’m sure you’ll be okay” he assures and you nod moderately. 
You deliberately slide off his lap, as he stands up to rummage through the bottom drawer of his dresser. He pulls out a tin box with an adorable puppy on it, and you find it humorous in a way, considering the pretty design is hiding something so toxic inside. 
You remember the sight of high Heeseung very well. He seemed to scare you a little back then, his words slipped from his mouth with so much ease and confidence. 
“You don't have to worry, nobody really gets high on their first try” he places the box on his coffee table, carefully opening it up. 
“Well that’s no fun” you comment. 
“It isn't the case for every new smoker, but still no one really knows why,” he explained, using his extensive knowledge to educate you. 
It wasn't the ideal area of knowledge to know everything about, but it made Heeseung feel good. It made him feel safe whenever he smoked with his friends or new people. He always knew what to do and how to act if something were to go wrong. 
“This weed Jay sold off to me is hella dank, maybe you will feel something after all” he smiled, and even though you had no idea what he was saying, you reciprocated. 
Heeseung pulled out one of his filters, folding it and rolling it into a cylinder. He placed it at the end of his paper, filling it with cannabis and sprinkling just a bit of tobacco inside. He tightened it  and with his tongue moistened the shiny edge of the paper. 
“You need to feel the smoke travel down to your lungs” he explained, searching for a lighter in his pockets “Inhale for like 2 seconds, and take smaller hits so you don't cough so much” he smiled, finally pulling out a green lighter. 
You never were interested in smoking or drinking, but some part of you couldn't deny Heeseung. It was stupid, but perhaps this was your one way ticket to his heart. 
Heeseung lit the joint, staring intensely as the flame moved across the surface, waiting for the right moment to take the first hit. 
He inhaled, his teeth slightly gritting as he exhaled the smoke, the familiar scent hitting your nose. 
He held the blunt between his fingers, and moved closer towards you “I’ll guide you” 
Heeseung propped the lit cannabis next to your lips and with a nod to his head, ushered you to take it into your mouth. You assuringly looked at him, counting down the two seconds in your mind as a burning sensation coated your throat. You felt the smoke travel down to your lungs, pulling away to take a deep breath. With a small cough you exhaled, making Heeseung smile. 
He didn't know he’d enjoy seeing you like this “Good girl” 
You took a long sip of the water that has probably been on his coffee table for a long time, the liquid tasting a little weird. But you didn't care, the need to moisten your throat overpowering the unfresh taste.
“Was it good?” he asked, taking another rip. 
The smoke hit you in the face “Not the best” you answered honestly and he chuckled. 
“It gets better” he assured, and passed you the blunt again. 
… 
It felt weird. Weird in a good way. 
Your eyelids felt heavy, the laughter coming to you naturally. Obviously you didn't feel half as high as Heeseung who swore he was walking in slow motion, but you most certainly were enjoying yourself. 
To Heeseung it feels like an attack on his fragile ego, the fact that he has gotten so far but not on top of you just yet. And even with the minuscule bit of confidence he has earned right now, he needs to at least try. 
Your purity radiates off of every one of your laughs as you intently look at him, just slightly fiddling with the loose string on your skirt. If he moved just a little bit he would probably be able to see what's under the navy material. 
Heeseung’s pants start to feel uncomfortable against his skin once again as you keep on laughing so innocently at his ambiguous jokes only a virgin like you wouldn't understand. 
He wants to feel your lips against his again but this time he knows he won't stop at that. He can't. 
“I want to kiss you so bad” he admitted, and you felt an unknown wave rush through your veins, his face slowly inching closer. 
He waited patiently for a response, his mind well aware that any sudden move would cause his plan to backfire. 
But instead of letting him take the lead, you nearly closed the gap between the two of you, letting your lips just slightly graze against his, smiling as he waited impatiently. 
“Such a tease” he murmured before pressing his pretty mouth against yours, his hands traveling to the back of your neck, holding you still against him. 
He smiled into the kiss, his tongue tasting the familiar vanilla chapstick, the scent of your perfume hypnotizing, making a blur of Heeseung’s mind. The way your lips felt against him even though you were so inexperienced, it felt much more special to him. 
Heeseung’s lips never left your skin, traveling so delicately down to your jaw, placing chaste kisses everywhere he could. His ivory fingers held tightly onto your waist, his other hand cupping your cheek, as he continued to slide down to your neck. 
He wasted no time leaving small, and visible marks, his teeth slightly biting into your skin, the quiet breaths that left your mouth, riling him up even further. 
“Can I?” he asked, Heeseung’s eyes going back and forth from your face to the buttons of your dress shirt. 
With your mouth parted and an unsteady breath you nodded. 
He smirked, and continued to attack your collarbones, his fingers unbuttoning your blouse with ease. 
“You’re so hot” he breathed onto your chest, pressing you down onto the mattress fully. 
The sweet noise that slipped from your lips, made a sly smile reappear on Heeseung's face, his cock twitching in his pants, the material suffocating him. 
If he moved down even a little bit, he’d probably be able to notice the soaking wet patch on your panties. 
The way his lips felt against almost every part of your body, the soft yet sudden touch of his fingers, it all felt way too good to give up. 
Heeseung gave you a knowing look, his face just a couple centimeters from your heat, his hands digging into your thighs. 
He noticed your relectuance “You know I just want to help you” he cooed, soothing down your skin, crawling right back up to face you “Let me make you feel good, pretty girl” 
You weren't afraid of many things in your life, but most importantly, being unraveled by Heeseung and him finding nothing he wants in there. 
You nodded slowly, his smile growing with each one of your nods. You didn't know what he’d do next, the blood in your body pumping faster as you anticipated his next move. 
Heeseung moved up your skirt, and as the fabric moved up, your skin burned with anticipation. His eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your covered cunt, begging for his attention. 
“So wet” he commented, his hand gently pressing your sensitive core “I barely even touched you” he added, chuckling. 
He gave you one last glance searching for confirmation, which you once again gave him, before sliding off your underwear. Heeseung didn't even bother removing your skirt, his mouth wet with desire.
 Heeseung’s fingers barely hover over your folds, the sole heat that radiates off of him making you squirm, twitching slightly. 
He laughs “So sensitive and for what? Relax, pretty thing”. 
He positions himself against you, his eyes locking with yours as he places swift kisses on your inner thigh. His lips move down in a slow pace, and you have to stop yourself from pushing his head forward. Each peck burns on your shivering skin, overwhelming you to the bone. His breath felt soft on your bare flesh, fingers digging into your thighs. 
His tongue flicked out, coming in contact with you after what felt like eternity. Your legs fight the urge to close on him, his mouth sending shockwaves of pleasure down your body. 
You grab at the nearest pillow, covering your face with it, embarrassed at how exposed you felt in front of him. His tongue delved deeper, lapping up all he could taste of you. 
The heat of his touch, the place that warmed you. The pulse, he could hold onto it alongside other rythmns. He just couldn’t get enough, he wanted to pry you open. Time faded away slowly, as he continued to devour you. 
You were on the edge, teetering between pleasure and pain, your body begging for release, as the knot in your stomach tightened.  
His mouth latched onto you, sucking and flicking with expert precision. He was enjoying himself, the sweet taste of innocence lacing his tongue. The sweet taste of crimson red innocence that he worked so hard to diminish, that he worked so hard to scrape you of. 
Heeseung was probably the closest you'll get to heaven in this lifetime. He was God's favorite, right at your thighs giving you the most beautiful form of pleasure avaliable. 
“Fuck” his chest heaves uneasily, his fingers gripping tightly onto your thighs “I could eat you out everyday” 
You wanted to beg him for more, beg him to let you release as it became even harder to hold it in. Completely and utterly lost in the new sensation, you roll your hips, gliding against his parted lips. 
“Keep doing that, fuck” he slurs, lost in a trance, his only goal being making you feel good. 
You caught a glimpse of him for just a moment- his pretty eyes so focused, his lips swollen and covered in your arousal. With every sound, every small movement, his actions became rougher, the feeling in your stomach becoming unbearable. 
“Cum for me, please” he mumbled against your skin, his desperation to make you cum fueled by the way you can't even form a proper sentence in response. 
Your fingers grip his bed sheets, his name falling from your lips multiple times before you feel the knot in your stomach quickly coming undone, a wave of intense pleasure washing over you. 
“Oh my god” you cried before fully releasing onto his face, his tounge desperately trying to lap up every single drop of his own hard work. 
Your whole body twitched in the aftermath of your climax, Heeseung still holding you down, his pretty lips back on your thighs and stomach, as he waited out your high with you. 
“So pretty,” he murmured, looking at you with lovesick eyes. 
With just a small blunt that barely got any of you high, Heeseung managed to get you just halfway where he needed you. Obviously, he’d rather have you on your knees in front of him, tears filling up your eyes as he pushed your head further down his cock, but this was enough to satisfy him, for now. 
He was peeling apart your innocence slowly, but surely, and his ego was never higher. 
______
It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to Aeri Uchinaga. 
Aeri, or how everyone liked to call her, Giselle, was one of your closest friends from the “lower class” school you used to go to. She was like a sister to you, the only ‘family’ you ever truly had in your life.
You promised yourself to never let go of your values and never let your relationship with Aeri falter, but both of those things went down the drain a long long time ago. 
Seeing the messages between the two of you lose all their momentum, become less frequent, and come down to ‘How’s Saint Matthews’ or ‘How are you holding up over there?’ frightened you. 
Would she even want to talk to you? Would she pick up if you called? Would she care? 
“I don’t know. Maybe I should just let it go?” you said, scrolling through all the messages you and Aeri shared over the past month, noticing how you could probably count them with two hands. 
Heeseung hummed, turning away from his calculus worksheets “I think if she cared enough she’d reach out. She should understand you're busy with your new life and be the first one to initiate conversations and all” 
It was partially true. Why should you be the only one to care and keep the friendship going? She should also try more, shouldn't she? 
“I’ve known her for years, Hee. I can't just let go that easily” you murmured, and he scoffed quietly. 
“But you have me now, isn't that enough?” he asked, his expression emotionless. 
Heeseung didn't even realize his words came out much more arrogantly than he intended. 
“I know, I’m sorry” you looked down “I just still want her to be in my life, that’s all” he hummed in approval, finding it annoying, the way your words implied like he wasn’t satisfying you in every sector. 
Jay, who sat opposite of you in the study hall, sighed ostentatiously. 
“Then just text her? I don't see the issue, seriously” he commented, pulling one of his airpods out of his ear, apparently tired of hearing you complain about such an ‘easy matter’. 
“It’s not that easy, Jay” Sunghoon mumbled, not taking his eyes off the work in front of him. 
Jay gave him a questioning look, deciding not to continue the conversation, way too tired for another fight with Sunghoon. 
Sunghoon had been behaving awfully weird ever since the fight at the apartment. He suddenly felt the need to comment on everything slightly negative that Jay or anyone else said towards you. That was one of the primal reasons for the group's continuous fighting. 
“Let’s get out of here” Heeseung turned to you after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 
You nodded reluctantly, still not finished with the stacks of papers you had to complete by tonight. But you could never deny Lee Heeseung. Not with the way his eyes glare at you intensely, and definitely not with the way his hand grips yours tightly, pulling you away from the table, not leaving a second for goodbyes. Not like you’d want to fakely smile at Park Jongseong with a wave; you fucking hated his guts. 
“You’re being weird today” you notice, his body facing away from you, pulling you towards an unknown destination. 
You still haven't fully addressed the lingering tension that stuck to you after what happened. But since Heeseung didn't bother mentioning it, you decided that it probably would be better to leave it at that. Sex, with all the ways it came in, was normal, and you were sooo normal about it too. 
“I’m not” 
Heeseung couldn't avoid the growing pain in his heart, recalling whatever the fuck he did back at his house, seemingly starting to realize that it probably wasn't something he needed to do, but something he wanted to do. 
For fucks sake, he never came out with the initiative to eat a girl out, and he most definitely never just left it at that, not even getting his dick wet in the process. 
The usually loud and bustling atmosphere of the student common space seemed to be gone, the bean bags and couches empty, no student in hindsight. 
“I just can't be around them anymore,” he added after a rather long moment, sitting down with a thud on one of the black couches. 
“Did you fight again?” you asked, placing yourself down next to him, your hands almost automatically finding their way to his own. 
“You could say that” he chuckled, recalling how Jake once again brought up your topic, which led to yet another heated discussion. 
“You should talk to them, this has been happening way too much recently” you ushered, and he shook his head with another small laugh. 
“They are most definitely not those kinds of people. Don't think I've had a serious conversation with them like ever”
Heeseung, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon have been friends for quite a long time now, especially Heeseung and Jay, and their lack of communication was astonishing. Every fight would be brushed off, they’d just pretend nothing happened and laugh it off. Every hard decision would have to be made individually because asking for advice was pointless. It wasn't easy with them and Heeseung knew that. 
“Either way, I’m happy you talk to me about it, maybe it can ease your mind just a little” you smiled, and he reciprocated, looking at you. 
“Yeah, it does help” he confirmed, and leaned back. 
Heeseung lived by night. As soon as the sun set it was as if his sins were disguised. So he hated the way his mind was slowly coming to the realization that the stupid plan he made was set for disaster the moment he sought out for you in the morning. 
“Do you want to come over after classes?” he asked, playing with the hem of your skirt, the seemingly innocent action making your heart flutter nervously. 
“I’m over there almost everyday” you laugh, and so does he, a snide smile on his lips. 
“You know your fate then” he says, his hand still inching closer, the public space that surrounded you having no effect on him. 
“Why are your parents never home?” you ask, and he finds it humorous in a way. Obviously owners of a multimillion company would never find time to spend back at home with their adult sons. 
The difference between you and Heeseung was that you knew your parents wouldn't be there to welcome you home everyday. You knew it was impossible. Heeseung could only suspect or assume, because his parents had given up on telling him when they’ll return from a business trip a long time ago. 
“They’re busy, I guess” he said, with a small sigh “Or at least they pretend to be, I wouldn't be shocked if the multiple business trips were just vacations” he laughed, his gaze falling onto you again. 
“At least you have your brother there” you smiled and he chuckled, he most definitely did not have a brother in reality. 
“Honestly, if he wasn't there it wouldn't make much of a difference” Heeseung sighed, and even though he’s gotten used to the relationship he shared with his brother, it still saddened him in a way. 
“It’s about the company, right?” you asked, and he nodded with a chuckle. 
“Smart girl” he cooed, ruffling your hair softly. You laughed, and shoved his hand off playfully. 
It wasn’t so hard to assume after all. What else could rich siblings be fighting over, who gets to sit in the passenger seat? Who gets to have the last slice of pizza? That's so fucking humorous. He was fighting with his brother over millions and a couple more millions, and didn’t even realize how materialistic and stupid that sounded to someone like you. 
Heeseung pulled your body closer to his, feeling an otherworldly connection course through his veins as you gave away your warmth to him. And how much tighter did you need to be pressed against each other before he finally admitted that he wasn't doing this for warmth. 
How many times did his thumb have to press against the edge of your mouth for him to realize he's gone too far?
“Did you hear that Sunghoon broke up with Wonyoung?” he asked, his body melting into yours with every passing second. 
You looked at him with wide eyes, but on another note, you would be lying if you said you didn't expect it. And it most definitely didn't shock you that Sunghoon was the one to initiate it. 
“Why?” you asked, even though it wasn't a hard deduction to make yourself.
“I think me and you both know why” he huffed, a hint of humor lacing his tone “Honestly good for him, that girl is insufferable” 
“Oh I know” you agreed, and he smiled “Go easy on him, still” 
“I'll try my best” he rolled his eyes playfully “We should definitely throw him a celebration party” Heeseung inquired and you chuckled. 
“Is that really something he’s celebrating, or just us?” you asked and he smiled. 
Sunghoon was so incredibly hard to read, and knowing if the breakup is impacting him negatively or positively was something nobody would ever know. 
“It’ll still help him get back up on his feet, if he even needs to” he replied, and you nodded smiling. 
You had no idea about the status between you and Heeseung. Things happened, and things were most definitely still happening, you both knew it, but nothing changed within the label itself. But then again, you took Heeseung as the type that didn't like labeling things. 
Of course you wanted to be his girlfriend. You wanted people to start knowing you by “Lee Heeseungs girlfriend”, not “Broke Transfer” or “Poor Scholar”. 
You relied heavily on Heeseung. He was like your life support in the walls of this school. He helped you make decisions and was there for you whenever you needed him. He felt just like flying too close to the sun, and it was addictive. You knew that very well. 
He truly was the only person you had. And well, you assumed that maybe calling Aeri isn't that good of an idea.
 Well, that’s what Heeseung agrees with anyway. 
__________ 
You were so out of it. 
You had told Eunseok that you’ll be staying the night at a new friend's house, but would he really care if he were to find out you’d actually be getting shit faced at a massive house party in a mansion you didn’t really know the owner of. 
Probably not. 
The music was so loud you could barely register the words Kim Sunoo spoke to you so enthusiastically. You had come here expecting to spend some time with Heeseung, but no matter how much you wanted to go look for him, the never ending white hallways that led to countless guest bedrooms frightened you. 
From your comfortable position on the couch, you could spot Sunghoon’s lonely figure at one of the tables. He was supposed to be the main attraction, the whole event centered around his new found freedom, but it seemed like everyone around him was having much more fun than him. 
You quickly waved off Sunoo, unsure of what he truly was going on about for the past 10 minutes, heading towards Sunghoon. 
“Are you okay?” You asked without having to shout in the boy's face, finding the corner he sat in much quieter. 
He looked startled, he didn't catch the moment where you came to him “I’m fine” Sunghoon replied swiftly, blinking a few times. 
You found it cute. 
“Why are you alone? Where is everyone” you asked him another question and for the first time you saw him smile so sweetly. 
He always had the same emotionless expression on his face, conversations with him felt like a punishment. Seeing him like this made your knees weak, a slight pain in your heart as you wondered what he was thinking about. 
“I hoped you’d tell me that” he said, his small smile never fading. 
You chuckled “I thought all this was supposed to be for you” 
He shook his head with a laugh “I never wanted any of this. They just used my situation as an excuse to get black out drunk, I guess” 
Even though it was sad, he never stopped smiling at you. His head rested on his knuckles, his eyes twinkling as his gaze was focused on you. 
“That’s rude” you inquired, and he laughed again, but this time it much more resembled a scoff. 
“Heeseung has done and is doing things much worse” he murmured, and even though the music was still very much blasting through the speakers, you heard him.  
You thought about it before questioning him again. Did you even want to know? Or are some things better left unspoken. 
“Like?” you finally said, and that’s when Sunghoon went quiet. 
With a thud he slammed his glass on the table, and stood up. He nodded his head towards one of the rooms at the end of the hallway signaling for you to follow him. He extended one of his hands towards you, and with the smallest bit of hesitation you took it, allowing him to lead you towards the space. 
Park Sunghoon looked so beautiful that night. His ivory skin glowed under the bright, colorful lights, his gaze was so piercing, and his lips just begged to be kissed. The pair of glasses hanging off his nose complemented his white fitted dress shirt, and his black pants showed off his perfectly long legs. You saw a different side of him and didn’t exactly like the way it made you feel. 
He closed the door behind you after assuring that the two of you would be alone. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he was betraying one of his closest friends. 
But he thought about it all the time. He couldn’t get peace of mind. He couldn’t let his heart hurt for you, watching you fall for a fraudulent man that didn’t deserve someone as loyal and caring as you. 
“What is going on Sunghoon?” you asked, standing above him, as he placed himself on the leather couch with a sigh. 
“I know you like him, I know you believe everything he says and I know you won’t like what I’m about to say” he started explaining, and the suspense was killing you “But he’s not the guy you think he is. You’re not the first one, Y/n” 
“What the fuck do you mean I’m not the first one Sunghoon. First, what?” 
He was trying to stay calm, but you were already getting annoyed and he hasn’t even dropped the real bomb on you. 
Sunghoon thought about it for a second. Was using Pham Hanni a good example or should he reach deeper inside his mind to find another person Heeseung has used to fulfill his own perverted and psychotic desires. 
“I mean you’re not the first girl he has used this way” he uttered without looking at you, too scared to see your expression. 
Were you scared? Or were you mad? Hurt or in disbelief? 
You didn’t respond, letting the silence devour the two of you for a moment. 
“Please say something, Y/n” he whispered, grabbing your hand. 
His hands were cold, his fingers long and ivory. His touch was so smooth, and welcoming. He managed to pull you down next to him, yet you still couldn’t slip a word out of your mouth. He wondered if you’d ever reply or if you would just sit there, forever, next to him in silence. 
He’d like that. He’d like that more than he should. He was already betraying his friend, but his heart still wanted more. He wanted you to be more. 
“Why are you telling me about this, Sunghoon?” you finally said, and he looked at you, his gaze softening. 
“Because I like you” he said, his gaze falling to your intertwined hands “And I can’t stand looking at you getting lied to like this” he added after a short moment. 
It didn’t hit you when he said it. It felt like a moment that passed by quickly, it felt like it wasn’t anything significant. But looking at him, feeling the coldness radiate off of him, and feeling his scent made you realize he actually said it. 
“Don’t say that, Hoon” when the usage of his nickname slipped off your tongue, and he knew you didn’t mean it. 
He knew you felt it too, you just couldn’t say it, right? There was this invisible string tying you tightly to Heeseung’s grip, holding you back from giving into him. You wanted to. You’ve always wanted to, and so did he. From the moment he saw you, standing there with Wonyoung on your first day. 
Neither of you moved, caught in each other's closeness, both aware of it, both unsure. 
Sunghoon’s slender fingers grazed your jaw, softly pulling you to face him. His lips were slightly parted, and you could feel his breath, laced with alcohol and cigarettes. His gaze was heavy on yours and you could feel your heart racing in your throat- but you couldn’t pull away. 
He traced the curve of your jaw, his hand slipping down to your throat. His grip was firm, his lips grazing over the edge of yours. 
‘Tell me to stop” he whispered, smiling when he only heard a faint breath slip from your mouth. “Tell me and I will” he smiled against your cheek. 
“I want you so bad” he murmured, his voice low “You don’t even know” His nose was pressing against your cheek, his breath hot on your skin. You could feel him all over you. 
All at once, the restraint you had, faded away. His back fell to the soft padding of the couch, your legs straddling his lap, keeping him still and open for you. A slow smile tugged at the corner of his lips, eyes dark and hooded. 
His hands slipped down to your lower back, pulling you in closer, skin to skin. You felt dizzy, his mouth eating at your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. He grabbed your waist tightly, moving you back and forth on his growing bulge. 
His hands moved up to your jaw as you rode his clothed crotch without his assistance. 
You felt shivers down your spine, an uncontrollable force pushing you for more. You wanted him whole, completely forgetting about the boy that was somewhere in this house, laughing with his friends. 
But you didn’t want him to stop, finally closing the last breath of distance between you and Sunghoon, pressing your lips to his. 
The kiss was sloppy, he met you with even more eagerness, your hand moving down to his chest, feeling his carved muscles against your fingertips. His tongue pried your mouth for entrance, deeping the connection between you. He held you as if he had been waiting forever for this moment, holding your body firm against his own. 
You pulled away, your faces inches apart, your forehead resting against his. Your lips coated in his saliva, trying to catch your breath, he looked at you with so much passion and longing. 
The regret started to settle in, but you couldn’t move away, even when his fingers caressed your cheek, you leaned into it. 
“You should be with me,” he whispered, a hint of desperation coating his voice “We’d be so good together, I’d make you feel so good” he added, his hand slipping past the band of your small skirt. 
“Sunghoon” you breathed out, your face falling to the crook of his neck as he played with the material of your underwear. 
“You were made for me to love, let me please” he pleaded, his breath shaky. 
You could feel his soft touch caressing your skin, his erection firmly against your clothed heat, it all felt like a dream. If you looked at him, it would all become real again. 
“We shouldn't” you said, your words muffled by the silky material of his dress shirt. 
He heard you, he didn't want you to stop, he was so desperate to have you, he wanted to show you just how much better he was than Heeseung. 
“It’s not wrong when he doesn't know” he took your jaw into his fingers, forcing you to look at him. You looked so pretty and innocent, your lipstick slightly smeared around your lips. 
Sunghoon pressed his hungry lips against yours once again, and you complied with his movements. The kiss was messy, sloppy, and at that point, he lost any control that was left in his body. 
Dazed, he didn't even hear the door jerk open. Neither did you, focused on his lips that have moved down to your neck once again. 
“What the fuck is this?” a familiar male voice shouted angrily, causing you to pull out of Sunghoon’s touch, scared to look at the man standing in the doorway. You knew it was him. 
“Heeseung” Sunghoon murmured, his eyes wide as the realization started to settle in. He stood up from the couch, walking towards the boy who looked like a ticking time bomb. 
You sighed, hands in your hair, no words left to be spoken. You felt nothing, Sunghoon’s touch still lingering on your skin, and Heeseung’s words in the air. 
“Calm down, Heeseung” Sunghoon said softly, still unsure of the situation that surrounded him. 
Instead of that, he got hit with a punch to his face, harshly stumbling backwards, his back pressing against the glass table. He touched his cheek, the sensation causing him to flinch. He could feel the taste of blood in his mouth. 
“I’m sorry” he said, looking down, spitting into the glass cup that someone left on the table. 
Heeseung smiled seeing his friend's reddish saliva slide down the walls of the glass. 
You stayed quiet, hoping the same fate wasn't waiting for you. You wanted to disappear, already creating the monologue you’d spill out to Eunseok as soon as you came home. ‘Please, I need to go back to my old school’ you’d plead until he’d finally give in. 
“I’m sure you are, Hoonie” he chuckled, slapping his forearm, taking the cup from his hand “I’m sure you regret it, don’t you” he looked intently at his friend who was struggling to keep eye contact. 
Heeseung slammed the cup on the floor, the glass shattering across the wooden panels, causing both you and Sunghoon to flinch. 
Sunghoon nodded his head, trying to stand up straight, but failing miserably as Heeseung kicked his lower abdomen with his knee. 
“You think it’s okay to mess with your friends girl behind his back?” he asked, holding Sunghoon’s bleeding jaw in his fingers “Is it?” 
“No” Sunghoon spat out, looking at Heeseung with his watery eyes, the pain in his stomach unbearable. 
“Heeseung, please stop, just stop it” you pleaded, looking up at him from teary eyes, unable to watch anymore “I came onto him, it’s all my fault” you lied, trying to somehow fix what was already broken. 
“Is that true” his gaze shifted back and forth from you to Sunghoon, waiting for one of you to give him a straight answer. 
You nodded ferociously, while Sunghoon kept his gaze plastered on the floor. 
“Get out” he turned to his vunerable friend, his lips dripping in blood, his hand holding onto his stomach. 
The view didn't move him one bit. 
Sunghoon looked at him and then at you, stumbling on his way to the door, slamming it shut when he finally managed to exit. 
“You came onto him, yeah? Did you like it?” he chuckled, a devilish grin on his face as he looked at you, so fragile and afraid of him. 
“I’m sorry Hee, I wasn't thinking straight” you explained, mentally preparing for him to strike you at any given moment now. 
You should be the one asking for an apology, he should be the one saying sorry for using you. 
“Get up” he ordered, extending his hand to you. You looked at him sheepishly, his dark figure standing over you. 
You obeyed, taking his cold hand, frightened a little bit by his intimidating and unpredictable behavior. He led you to the bathroom that was placed just across from the couch you were making out with Sunghoon on, stopping in front of the sink. 
He looked at you through the mirror, his lips falling to your ear “Spit” 
“What?” you asked, your voice cracking. 
“You heard me the first time” he said sternly, his gaze never falling from your eyes. 
“W-why?” you mumbled, and his small smile dropped. 
His fingers squeezed your waist painfully, his other hand shoving your face down towards the sink “When I tell you to do something, you do it” he groaned, and with your eyes shut, you completed his order. 
“Wash your mouth” he ordered after a moment, his body pressing against your ass as he held your head in place “Wash all that’s left of him” 
You just listened to every word he said. He let go of your hair, letting you look at yourself again. Heeseung smiled, his hands wandering from your waist to the band of your skirt. 
“Did you like it when Sunghoon touched you here? Did you feel taken care of? Tell me, pretty girl” his hand slipped down lower, his fingers easily slipping past your panties, hovering over your core. 
“I asked you a question” he said more sternly, as you refused to reply to him, your brain fixated on the feeling of his fingers on you. 
“I liked it,” you replied truthfully, and he smiled. 
“You like when my friends take care of you, don’t you? You’d let Jay fuck you, you’d blow Jake if he asked, wouldn't you?” he asked, and you winced at his words, the sound mixing with the way his fingers played with you. 
“But you’d come back to me. You’d come back all swollen from their house to me. Cause you love me” he said, and you nodded, your hips riding his hand that was buried deep in your underwear. 
“Want me to fuck you now? Show you who you actually belong to?” he whispered in your ear sweetly, his fingers still teasing your entrance. 
“Yes” you managed to utter. Your heart was pounding so hard, a part of you craving Heeseung’s touch, while another one trembled with fear. 
He turned you around, you could finally face him. His eyes were dark, his anger mingling in the air. His lips were wet with desire. 
“Playing with my best friend, making me watch, you loved it, didn't you baby?” he laughed, his hand escaping your skirt, finding its way to your hips. He pressed himself against you, his hands wandering under your top. 
“You’ll get what you want, don’t worry” he smiled, his fingers caressing your lips “That pussy wouldn't give it to you anyway” he laughed, catching you in a sloppy kiss. 
“Get on your knees, baby” he said, his tone soft, a caring facade covering his internal rage. 
You nodded, softly, sliding down to your knees in front of him. The dimly lit space made him look so beautiful, his harsh words leaving with Sunghoon a while ago. 
“You can take it right?” he asked, unbuckling his belt, the material of his black dress pants brushing against your skin as he slid them down. 
You felt a mix of nervousness and anticipation as he teased you, palming himself through his boxers. You could see his pulsing erection, the way his face twisted as he continued stimulating himself. 
“You wanna see, huh? Dirty girl, you love every second of this” he laughed, his voice laced with innuendo. 
Finally, with one hand he slid down his underwear, freeing his thick, hard cock. It slapped against his sculpted torso, and he smiled seeing your face light up. 
“You like what you see, yeah? So fucking hard just for you” he asked with amusement, grabbing your jaw. 
You nodded, finally being able to see him whole, raw in front of you. 
He was now completely exposed before you, fully vulnerable and at your mercy.
“Good. Feel how hard I am for you. Touch me” he said, his eyes never leaving yours. 
You reached out tentatively, unsure of your actions, your cold fingers wrapping around his rigid shaft, coating its surface with his arousal as you slowly stroked him. He was hot and pulsing with his heartbeat. 
He groaned “Yeah, like that” his eyes closed with pleasure instinctively “Now put it in your pretty mouth” he ordered after a moment. 
You leaned forward, as he pulled your hair aside, twirling it in his palm. Your breath tickled his tip, his teeth gritting as he watched you open your mouth for him, and wrap your sweet lips around the head of his cock. 
He groaned, your warm mouth hugging him reluctantly. You could taste his bittersweet pre-cum on your toungue, the sensation of his hardness making shivers go down your spine. Your head began to move deeper down his length, finding it difficult to fit all of him inside you. 
“Fuck, s’good, suck me nice and slow just like that” he moaned, slightly pushing your head down his cock. He could see the tears forming in your eyes, and it made him twitch in your mouth. 
You did as he instructed, taking your time with him, finding the spots that made him react the most, teasing his sensitive underside. Hollowing your cheeks, going faster, Heeseung’s grip on you only tightening with every movement. 
You looked so helpless and lost, your mouth full of him. He fought to keep quiet, his other hand gripping the counter, his chest heaving unevenly. Your head bobbed up and down, sending jolts of pleasure through his body. 
“Fuck, keep going, I’m close” he whined, his lips parted as he guided you back and forth on his length. 
His cock twitched, your movements becoming sloppier as you awaited his climax. You could feel him deep down in your throat, the feeling accompanied by his intense breathing and hoarse moans. His hand gripped your hair tightly, he began to thrust gently, fucking your mouth with slow, deliberate strokes.  
“I’m gonna cum, fuck” his voice was strained, his heart racing in his chest “Gonna cum in your mouth, take my load baby” 
He groaned, his warm, thick cum spilling all over your tongue, Heeseung’s body shuddering as he emptied his load down your throat.  
“Swallow it,” he said, his breath shaky as he rode out his high. 
He pulled out after a moment, his cock glistening with your saliva and his juices. 
“You’re so perfect” he breathed out, still trying to steady himself “Get up, sweet girl” he instructed, and with an ache to your knees you managed to get up. 
His lips hurried to connect with yours, tasting himself on your tongue. Your lips were so soft and wet, your eyes watery. He wiped a salty tear that slipped from your eye. The look on your face took him back to the day he first met you, so pretty and untouched. 
“Let me make you feel good now” he whispered, guiding you to the bed, his pants and boxers left abandoned in the bathroom, as he got rid of his shirt while locking the door. 
He remembers just how much he fantasized about fucking you behind an unlocked door, hoping one of his sickly perverted friends walked in. But he no longer wanted to share you. 
He yearned for you, needed you just like the flesh that wanted to knit itself back together after a fresh wound. His desire was so primal, so intuitive. He was peeling his skin back, the layers slowly unfolding before your eyes. 
“Undress for me” he waited, his eyes tracing your every move, his body shivering as he watched you. 
If you were ready, he wanted to make you shiver like that too. 
You pulled down your black skirt, squeezing your thighs together as you were left only in your underwear. He came towards you, helping with your top half. He puts your hands up, the material gliding against your shaky skin. The fabric falls to the floor with a small thud, leaving you bare for him to adore. 
He stood back, admiring the beauty of the girl in front of him. He regretted every spoken word at that moment, every curse, every joke and everything that led up to this moment. 
Those words stained his mouth like a pomegranate, the lingering sensation still on his tongue as he took you in. 
Heeseung’s lips crashed down on yours, his shivering hands roaming down to your enclosed thighs, spreading you open enough for his fingers to slide through. He explored you with rough urgency, his mind blank as he focused on you and only you. 
He moved you down to sit on his lap, his hard on pressing against your ass. He trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck to your chest. Desperation sat heavily on his tongue. 
“You’re so pretty, all mine, all this is for me” he mumbled into your skin, his fingers digging at your hips. Your teeth grit, hands pulling his dark hair. 
Heeseung was so hungry for you. Hungry for your lips, your flesh, your bones that he wanted to intertwine with his. He was so drunk on love. 
His hand slipped down your body, his thumb circling small circles on your clothed heat. He felt the wetness seep through. 
He lifted you up, lying you down on the mattress swiftly. He situated himself in between your legs, his eyes scanning your body. You were such a pretty girl, so obedient and welcoming to him. You didn't protest, just did what he asked you to.
“Heeseung, please..” you whispered, and he could feel his heartbeat speed up “I want you inside me” he was amused by your eagerness, the way you were so direct with your words. 
“Sweet girl” he murmured, his fingers hooking the band of your pretty pink underwear “So fucking ready for me” 
He looked at you one last time, his fingers pulling at your panties, and with a nod to your head, he rolled the fabric down your legs, throwing it next to his abandoned shirt. 
“Already this wet?” he raised an eyebrow questioningly “I barely even touched you” a smirk adorned his lips.
He could come just by looking at you, your greed only fueling his own desire to fuck the shit out of you. But he'd hurt you, wouldn't he? 
Heeseung’s heart was racing just from the sight of you, his body reacting instantly to the view in front of him. His breath came out in ragged gasps, his pretty blue veins popping out from under his skin. 
He aligned himself with you, coating his length with your arousal. His throbbing cock glided in between your folds, your body trembling at the new feeling, as heavy breaths slipped from your mouth. His tip nudged against your entrance, your heart racing. You had never felt anyone this closely, and nothing made you more excited than it being Heeseung after all. 
“I won’t hurt you, yeah?” he laughed, his tone low “You think you can take it?” he teased, his tip slipping in and out, each time going just a little further. 
“Mhm” you nodded your head, looking at him with your mouth slightly parted. 
He leaned down to squeeze your cheeks “Yeah? And you won't cry?” you attempted to nod again, but his grip on you was firm. You just blinked eagerly, and he chuckled, shaking his head.
His tone was inciting, it could almost seem as if he was making fun of you. Yet no other man had ever made you feel so wanted, so good. No man has ever touched you like Heeseung did. 
He pressed you down underneath him, holding onto your lower back, his lips wandering all over your damp skin, His touch was rushed, he wanted this just as much as you. 
“Ready?” he asked, stroking himself, his gaze glued to you. You breathed out a short conformation, grabbing into his arm that flexed under your touch. 
Heeseung nodded, his eyes dark with desire and need. His hands were shaking, his body trembling with the effort of restraint. 
He grabbed onto your leg, and with a slow movement, buried himself deep inside you. You gasped, pleading for your body to adjust to the sudden invasion. Heeseung’s cock filled you completely, stretching you out in a way you’d never experienced before. He didn't move, waiting for the look of discomfort to wipe off your face. 
You had wanted this. You waited impatiently for Heeseung to take away the one sacred thing you owned- your virginity. You wanted him to be the man that gets to have you first, the love and thirst for him overpowering any rational thoughts. 
“Fucking tight” he breathed out, as his head fell back, a low, gutteral moan escaping his lips as he continued to move, his body conusmed by the sheer pleasure. 
It didn't take him a long time to bottom out, groans falling from his slightly parted lips. The pain of his thickness was almost exciting, your nails digging at his skin, eyelids becoming heavy. His cock buldged in your stomach, making him moan out loud with no sense of embarrassment. 
Your walls gripped onto his length “Feels s'good, shit” his thrusts were slow and delicate, not wanting to break your fragile frame “See this, so fucking deep inside you” he took your hand and pressed it down on your stomach so you could feel him. 
“Does it feel nice?” he kissed your neck, his face hugging the side of yours as he picked up his pace.
You turned to look at him “It d-does” you whispered. 
He rammed into you, his strokes becoming more frequent and sloppy. His face twisted with pleasure, a stream of euphonious sounds slipped from your lips, powering his own arousal. The music slightly entered the room through the shut door, the sound of skin slapping and heavy breaths overpowering it.
“That’s it, baby” his hands gripped your hips as you moved with him in sync, his body almost automatically responding to any of your movements. Your breathing became increasingly uneven and ragged “Just like that, just like that” 
“Fuck, Heeseung” you struggled for breath, his pace becoming infernal. 
His eyes ran down your body like never before, his face looking down at you intently, almost like a wolf looking down on its prey. His fingers continued to grab onto anything he managed, his mind going blank as the sound of your cries filled his ears. 
The sight and sensation drived you further into ecstasy, his warmth so strong on your skin. You couldn't help the pleasure, a small, salty tear escaping your glossy eyes. 
He leaned down, capturing your mouth in a desperate, rough kiss, his body shaking with need. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. His thumb wiped down the tear from your cheek, his eyes hooded as he stared down at you, analyzing the state he had put you in. 
“You’re so perfect, so perfect for me” he whispered, his body on fire, every fiber of his being consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy of being inside you, of feeling you beneath him. 
Your moans become guttural, body shuddering with overwhelming pleasure at his words, at the thought of having him like this all the time. 
“I’m so in love with you, fuck” he breathed out, his heart pounding in his chest. 
He knew he was in too deep, knew that he couldn't stop this even if he wanted to, not when he felt like this, burried so fucking deep inside you. 
“I’m close” you managed to articulate, your voice strained. 
Heeseung nods, his body feeling like he’s on the edge, too. He speeds up his movements, his cock pounding into your tired core at an almost demonic pace. His own senses are overwhelmed by you, his mind and body consumed with desire and pleasure. 
He gasps, his mouth moving down to your chest “I’m close too. Just a little more, you can do it. Just a little more” his voice a low, raspy whisper. 
You grip his hand tightly, a low moan escaping your lips as Heeseung pushes himself closer to the edge. You were hanging on by a thread, desperate for release, desperate for him. 
“I can’t hold back” he groaned, his thighs shaking, control slipping him completely “I’m going to fill you up so deep with my cum, baby. Don’t move” 
Heeseung took your heart, his mouth stained red. He kisses you with that mouth, he’s all over you again. He can no longer control himself, each movement throwing him over the edge, his own bravery breaking as you look so much sweeter and smaller under him. 
With one last thrust, his body shuddered as he shot his load of cum inside your pulsating walls. His body collapsed on top of you, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. He continued to move inside you, his fingers holding onto your body, helping you chase your own high. 
You close your eyes, releasing your own arousal on his length. Your body shivers and arches beneath him. He groans against your neck, gripping your hip tighter, his own body trembling with pleasure and exertion. 
He buries his face into your neck, his breathing slowly starting to even out after a few moments. He can feel your breathing start to even out under him as you came down from your own climax. He held you close, letting the waves of otherworldly pleasure wash over the both of you.
“You were so good” he whispers, his voice still laced with a hint of breathlessness “I love you, so much. I love you so much it hurts” 
He couldn’t help it. Those three words have never fallen from his lips, and this time he couldn't blame it on the slip of his tongue. Every bone in his body, his flesh, his tissue, the sinews that bound him together, it flowed in his veins- the uncontrollable desire to love you. 
His words struck you to the core. It felt so real, Sunghoon’s confession long gone as you couldn't help but reciprocate his words. With the way he cared for you, it couldn't be true. Heeseung wouldn't use you, he loved you, and you loved him. 
 You look down at him, and this time he looks much less scary. His eyes aren't so dark and hooded, his hair is messy, and his lips are puffed out.
It’s been so long since you first saw him, your mind completely swapping the first impression he made on you, to something much sweeter and beautiful. You remembered him so well, he was your precious, doe-eyed baby deer. He was never wrong, he was never the bad guy. 
The world turned on him, he was innocent. He didn't have a drinking problem, he wasn't smoking too much, he just gave into his teenage curiosity. 
He continues to lay on top of you, arms wrapping around you, his face buried into your neck. He takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent, savoring the feeling of you beneath him. 
“I’m sorry, baby” he whispers, his voice laced with a hint of shame and regret. “I’m so sorry” he repeats and you look at him, confused. 
“What? Is everything okay?” you ask, caressing his hair, twirling small pieces in your fingers “You're scaring me” 
He sighs, his heart breaking “Sunghoon was right. I told him to do it. I told him to tell you the truth” 
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taglist: @deobitifull @yunhoswrldddd @parksunghoonsgf @itgirlalisaa @alienqbrain @cyjhhyj @missycheif1404
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vilsoo · 1 year ago
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TAGS. nsfw, fem!reader, gym bf!toji, toji is just so horny, he rips your leggings, manhandling, dirty talk, unprotected sex
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leg days with toji was his favorite. not because he gets to work on his quads, but because he gets to watch you work on your glutes and hammies. he knows exactly what you’re doing wearing those butt scrunch leggings, showing your ass in front of him as you do your romanian deadlifts, lying leg curls, and hypertensions. it was impossible for him to concentrate; he just couldn’t take his eyes off of you and your pump. but what also pisses him off is that he knows that you love being his little distraction. it’s gotten to the point that the both of you got carried away left the gym a little earlier than usual, forgetting one important thing you would do every leg day for muscle growth; your cardio.
luckily you didn’t have to worry about that at all with toji. cardio with a man like him who’s more than twice your size with large biceps and impressive upper body strength can suffice as the intense cardio you needed after a workout. but cardio at home can vary in many, many different ways…
“i’ve been wanting to do this the moment you walked out the house looking like this.” toji’s voice was so terse as if he’s been riled up way past his limit, pushing you over your couch’s armrest and ripping your leggings open that had you whining on the cushion. “oh shut up, i’ll buy you a new one.”
he gives a couple of harsh slaps on your ass before he burries his face into it, humming like a greedy, desperate man as he indulges in your juices that he wasn’t surprised you were so turned on by this. he just wanted to torture you, use you, manhandle you for working him up (un)intentionally at the gym— you were barely able to see him buried between your legs, holding your thighs apart in place as he flicks his tongue repeatedly in and out of your pussy, sloppy and messy for him.
“other guys get to check this ass out for free, but it’s too bad they can’t eat it out the way i do,” toji chuckled as he toyed with your clit with his fingers, easing in and out of the entrance of your pussy. “i pity them. they’re fuckin’ missing out on how good you taste… but you know i don’t like sharing.”
all you could do was reply with whimpers and pathetic muffled moans, with no sign of a coherent thought running through your head from the way he sucked on your clit while fingering you. but just as you were about to warn him of your orgasm nearing, he immediately stops, as if he can tell from the way your thighs began trembling and your muffled moans became more needier and louder.
“you’re gonna come in my mouth already? we haven’t even gotten to the cardio part yet, pretty girl,” he teases as he harshly slaps your ass again. “ride on my cock first until you come. you’ll also feel that burn in your thighs.”
that wide grin on your face was all he needed to see before he lays down on the couch with his cock already out and hard for you. you manage to stand up and position yourself in reverse cowgirl on your knees between his legs, showing your ass off for him to slap and grab again. you take his cock and rub it on the folds of your needy, aching pussy before sliding down on it with all your weight. immediately you can feel his dick twitch eagerly inside you, the living room filled with the lewd sounds of your ass slapping against his skin and your wet, soaking cunt enveloping his dick. you can feel the burn in your thighs with how fast you were thrusting your hips on him, sweat trickling down both of your skins. the pain and the pleasure ignited in your body like ecstasy, working yourself out but also fucking yourself so good on his cock. when you arch your back and kept gyrating and bouncing your hips on him, you can feel him hitting your g-spot repeatedly that it unleashed an orgasm in a white-hot sensation.
suddenly toji already grabs your waist out of impatience, sitting up on the couch and setting your body down on his lap. “you did so good for me, coming on my cock like that.” he kisses your temples as he slid his hand down to rub your clit. “but for teasing me so bad today, i get to fuck you like a dumb whore on this couch. you’d like that, right? when i remind you of your place?”
again, you grinned like an eager little slut ready for him to use you. your back was pressed against his chest, him forcefully spreading your legs open and locking your legs high up in the air in full nelson. taking his cock that’s still hard, he roughly bucks his hips into you. his cock kept repeatedly ramming the sensitive spots in your cunt that tears starting to glisten on your face, your jaw slackened, and your eyes rolled back. toji’s stamina could never go out even right after you two had just left the gym. it was just a hot sight to see; a messy slut with her leggings ripped open, legs locked in the air and forced to watch yourself take his thick cock pounding deep in your pussy that your thighs couldn’t stop trembling. no glute exercise, no hamstring exercise, or not even cardio on the stairmaster could compare to the intensity and soreness you feel in your legs from toji fucking you like this.
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linddzz · 4 months ago
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I am slamming that validation button like a rodent wanting more sugar water so here's more mostly rough draft Jayvik.
A continuation of the nicknames fic. More science dorks being dorks, this time greatly featuring some seriously questionable boundaries between totally normal lab colleagues, and much more briefly featuring Viktor being so horny it makes him stupid. Also appearing is Jayce Talis, ADHD King and allusions to Viktor's past slut era. Both fics are a sort of preview chapter in the bigger thing @amahhi and I are working on!
Thank you to @avelera for planting the idea of platonically dubious scritches in my head, and for being a constant sounding board!
Rating: PG
Pair: Jayvik pre-relationship
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It continues to be surprising, how not surprising everything is when it comes to Jayce.
A week into the partnership, and that initial bright thrill of something new has not dulled in the slightest. Nor has the perfectly ordinary, easy comfort that he feels with Jayce. The un-remarkability of this calm is what makes it remarkable. With Jayce, there is none of the discomfort of dealing with another person. None of the abrasive tension that arises when Viktor must face other people as distinct personalities which he must contend with, instead of the larger concepts of People. People as an idea have problems that he can solve, whose suffering he can reduce without any needs for interaction causing issues.
But Jayce functions outside of these issues Viktor often finds himself in. Jayce slots into a space Viktor hardly knew existed, like there had always been this jagged edge to him that, to his great surprise, was actually part of a puzzle that Jayce had the other half to.
Past experience would have him expecting that, with time, the shine would wear off. The glow would dim. He would learn all the little faults and human contradictions of Jayce and would grow to feel that jagged tension return. Spending hours upon hours each and every day for a solid week with him have revealed Jayce’s little foibles, yet not one has grown into a frustration. In actuality, Viktor has had nothing but further data points to add weight to his newly forming thoughts of destiny and its relation to himself and Jayce. For each little fault and lacking Jayce has, Viktor can help. He can, perhaps, be the puzzle piece that returns the favor to fit neatly into Jayce's life.
For example, Jayce can grow blind to his surroundings, his mind too caught in their work. Viktor had assumed that the apartment was in the state he first found it in due to an explosive force of arcane power. He still thinks that, but he has learned that this great force was not the struck gem amplifying and reflecting the kinetic force aimed at it to exponential levels, but Jayce himself. He often forgets his keys, or his mugs, or his pencils behind an ear, his goggles on his head, his tools, everything but his journal really.
It was the third time that he left his keys in the lab (on top of twice that he came in groaning that he had locked himself out of his temporary housing), that Viktor realized what the pattern was, and that he could provide a solution.
Jayce had more important things to focus his mind on, so it was both useless and counterproductive to adjust Jayce’s behavior or habits so he could track the little necessities of life. Fortunately, Viktor is well practiced on keeping track of what he needs to. It’s a skill that was refined when he first used it to avoid detection in the Academy, and then even further developed as Professor Heimerdinger’s assistant. When Jayce left his keys behind again, the answer was simple and obvious. They were already missing from Jayce’s person, so Viktor simply took them to the sort of establishment in the lanes that would never ask any questions, but would always make a perfect copy of any keys brought to them.
Jayce’s keys were neatly returned to him, and Viktor took no small delight in waiting for the next time Jayce smacked his forehead as they left for the day, realizing that he had once again locked himself out of his rooms, to reveal his backups. There was a brief moment, where Jayce stared at the keys hanging from Viktor’s finger, when he worried in a flash that this was not something a friend or colleague should do, that he had overstepped in some way. Then Jayce snorted with his grin, called Viktor brilliant if a little terrifying, but mostly brilliant, and everything was perfect.
The key was only for Jayce’s temporary rooms in the Academy housing, but Viktor could make another set once the apartment repairs were complete, even if it seems wasteful to have Jayce eventually move out of the building that Viktor lives in.
Jayce is also wonderful at taking notes for his work, but less skilled at going back to reorganize or refine those notes. His notes are exemplary, even with the little flair of him signing every single page, but it leads to problems.
These problems are their current struggle in the cramped space of their semi-lab at some odd hour of the night. Viktor stands and contemplates the board crowded with copies of Jayce’s notes, additional observations both have about that first successful arcane spell, and Viktor’s little chalked notes next to clusters of paper denoting what sections of an article each goes to. Behind him, Jayce is not exactly pacing, which would require repeating of one path, but he is in a constant state of muttering movement with occasional bursts of frustration over paperwork.
Because they can make a fully stable arcane frame that affects the gravity within the dean’s office, but that means nothing to the academy if it is not properly written and submitted for review. They are on their fourth draft of the paper, and the initial excitement over being published has dwindled with every draft that has been returned with Heimerdinger’s cheerful blue ink slashed across the pages. One of Jayce’s faults, Viktor is finding, is that he does not take such things gracefully. It takes the second set of revisions for Viktor to realize that pride is not the primary hurt that Jayce feels, but the thread of anxiety Viktor had seen woven through Jayce’s journal. The need to prove himself, and the fear of impending failure at every turn.
“How else do they want me to explain it?” Jayce groans, and Viktor does not need to turn around to know that the perfectly clean cut hair is likely sticking out in every direction.
“I was hoping the Professor would not have edited “crank it” so quickly out of the methodology.” Viktor muses. That was his greatest disappointment. “I am deeply curious on how he expects us to find half of the citations he has requested for this entirely new scientific field.”
“And when the Academy insists there aren’t more tomes on mage lore!” Jayce snarls.
“We will have to expand outside of the Academy in the future.” Viktor agrees, turning a little to once again look over the taped up pages of their latest draft and what blue marks are where. “However, I think a more concrete description of the runic array you conducted into the stabilizer may be our ticket past many of the other issues he has found.”
Instead of grumblings or more huffed complaints, a heavy weight thumps onto Viktor’s shoulder. He pauses, realizing immediately that it is Jayce’s head that has slumped against him, and Jayce’s impressive body heat against his back indicating that there is, at most, a few inches of space between them.
“I don’t know how.” Jayce groans, but it’s less petulant and quieter, almost fearful. “I don’t know how to describe what I did.”
“Hm.” Is all Viktor can say in that exact moment. He is, briefly, distracted by Jayce’s hair brushing against his jaw with the strong scent of some sort of…of fancy wood. It is not an unpleasant scent.
“Sorry.” Jayce mutters. “Sorry, I know you’re not touchy I just- gimme a second I gotta think.”
“That’s perfectly alright.” Viktor assures him. It is alright. Jayce is correct that Viktor is not nearly as tactile as Jayce is, but he is at this point well acquainted with Jayce’s propensity towards touch. His own lack of aversion or any other strong reaction to it was one of the earliest surprises in their partnership. “Take your time gathering your thoughts. This is a far less dire circumstance than that first stabilization was.”
“You told me there was no pressure then.” Jayce mumbles, already sounding a little less miserable.
“That is because I was lying.” Viktor hums, delighted at the snort he gets, and the way he can feel Jayce’s movement from the small laugh.
“Seriously V, I just remembered that night, remembered what the mage looked like and what all the magic looked like and I…did the same thing. But it wasn’t the same thing, because no one got teleported. I don’t even know if what I did was a spell.” Viktor thinks he can feel the resonance of Jayce’s voice through his core, spreading in waves from the point where Jayce’s forehead presses down at the top edge of his shoulder.
The distraction is not a true distraction however, because Viktor catches something in what Jayce is muttering. “You can remember how he moved, what the runes he summoned looked like?”
“I remember everything about that night.”
“Yes but-” There is something here. He has already seen Jayce's remarkable skill at memorizing things that Jayce deems worth memorizing. If Jayce says he can remember it, Viktor does not doubt it. “The order of them, could you remember that?”
The head on Viktor’s shoulder shifts as Jayce rolls it slightly to one side, but he doesn’t move it in the other to shake his head. It’s a contemplative movement. “Maybe…I think so. Let me...ok this is going to sound so weird but can I just uh, hang out here for a second? It helps me think.”
“By all means.” There’s something particularly marvelous about becoming a stabilizing agent for Jayce’s mind, he would be a fool not to agree to the opportunity. As Jayce calibrates himself, Viktor once again considers their paper, the problems it has given them. Jayce had moved the dial of the stabilizing framework like a conductor, with precision. Heimerdinger wants written out theories and explanations and citations, but what if they could instead find a formula. What if the precision of Jayce’s input could be broken down into components and quantified…
His free hand moves with habitual lack of awareness to where it would usually begin fiddling with his own hair, and it takes a few moments for him to notice the slight change in both texture and location of the hair he is rolling between his fingertips. Even then, he only notices because Jayce’s head becomes an even heavier weight on his shoulder.
“Ah, apologies.” He says, stopping the movement, thinking this might be a thing to feel awkward about. “Force of habit, it helps me think.”
“No, s’fine.” Jayce says, voice thicker in a way that is dangerous for Viktor’s higher thought processes. “It’s nice, actually. I don’t mind.”
After a second, Viktor continues. This time he notes the finer texture of Jayce’s hair. It’s very soft, sleek almost, with traces of the gel he uses to style it making sections of stiffness that crunch away under Viktor’s fingers.
“You smell nice.” Jayce mumbles.
A response to that requires some consideration. Viktor…considers.
There was a time, not all that long ago, where he would have leapt on someone with Jayce’s build telling him he smelled good while standing a scant inch away from Viktor. He would have assumed that the intent was for him to leap. Viktor is more discriminating than he used to be about sexual escapades, mostly because he began finding the nights spent on dalliances not worth the distractions, but even he can admit that if Jayce had put a head on his shoulder and told him he smelled good a week ago, Viktor would know exactly how to respond. It would have involved leaning back against that broad heat, turning lightly twirling fingers into a fist in Jayce’s hair, then gleefully seeing where things went from that point.
But now…
Jayce fits in like a missing puzzle piece. Whatever Jayce is, it is not one of Viktor’s brief encounters. Viktor would want to tell Jayce he didn’t need to get his apartment repaired, when Viktor lives much closer to the lab and things would be much more efficient if they lived together. Viktor can be wildly in love with this man in every definition of love that exists, but romantic or sexual entanglements (and if there is one, Viktor very much wants the other as well) often end. In Viktor’s personal experience, they ended before morning, and that was only considering the sexual entanglement. Heightened intimacy was desperately tempting, but it risked a greater end to the entire partnership. Even if nothing ever started, a proposition alone could forever poison what there already is.
Jayce is tactile in a very casual way. He flirts with everything that smiles at him for more than three seconds, and there has been nowhere near enough data for Viktor to calculate the risk of losing that side of the puzzle, or how much of a reward he would gain from taking that risk.
“Thank you.” He says eventually, slow and still considering. Then, because that feels incomplete and awkward, he adds, “I use soap.
Jayce snorts again, the head on Viktor’s shoulder shaking as Jayce’s body shakes with quiet laughter. Viktor knows he is shaking with it, because every other hitch up of Jayce’s shoulders causes a tiny sway forward, which bumps Jayce’s chest against Viktor’s back. Each of these millisecond bits of contact makes Viktor once again run through the considerations of risk versus reward in relation to getting his hands on that chest. Under the shirt. He would need both hands. There is an awful lot of chest, after all. Maybe both hands and his mouth. Definitely all three. It really is so much chest.
He takes the fantastic effort to rein his mind away from Jayce’s prodigious chest, even more effort to pull it further from contemplating the amount of shoulder matching that chest and what the rest of the torso probably looks like. There should be a response in kind to Jayce’s. A friendly compliment to return a compliment.
“Your hair is very soft.” He decides, as that seems safe as well as relevant to Jayce's compliment. Jayce’s silent laughter turns into some small hitched sounds that near a squeak, which means that Viktor’s thoughts are successfully pulled away from the sexual distractions, but only into the romantic sort.
“Thank you.” Jayce says with a dreadful mimic of Viktor’s accent, which only strengthens Viktor’s resolve to not take any uninformed risks that could lead to him losing this, “I use a leave-in conditioner.”
Viktor’s hand drops from Jayce’s hair, and he turns his head as much as he can to shoot a baffled look at the top of Jayce’s head.
“Why the fuck would you leave in a hair conditioner?” He asks, affronted. “Conditioner already feels dreadful. It’s heavy and slimy, absolutely horrendous.”
Jayce shoots up (which is a shame) so that he can lean around and give Viktor a look of equal outrage. “What does- Viktor it’s a different thing from- do you not use conditioner!?”
“Of course not. It feels terrible, I already said that.” Jayce makes a pained sound, and Viktor waves him off. “Enough of that nonsense. It is a waste of time. I have an idea.”
Jayce moves up next to him, facing Viktor with an intent eagerness. “What is it?”
“You are going to describe to me exactly what you remember. Each rune, each movement, as much as you can.” Another thought occurs to him, and Viktor snatches his cane from where it’s leaning on the board so he can turn to the inert stabilizing frame sitting on a table. “And I want you to dial in the stabilizer as you did in Heimerdinge’s lab as you do so. I will record everything. I believe there may be something we can measure, some sort of constant in the timing and the runes used, a way to-”
“We can make it an equation.” Jayce interrupts, breathless and awed, knowing what Viktor is thinking without Viktor needing to explain any of it. He so deeply wishes Heimerdinger had let them keep “crank it” in the paper. “Something concrete.”
“Precisely. The runes are instructions, a code. Perhaps the clockwise and counter-clockwise cycles of them are additional instructions. We can use your stable field as a baseline to begin working on a formula.”
“We can give them a solid theorum.” Jayce is already rushing to the stabilizing frame, even recreating the hunched over pose he had that wondrous night. “Okay, tell me when you’re ready.”
Any thoughts on conditioner or smells are gone. In the future, it will be as common as breathing for them to be drawn together when they need help thinking. Jayce’s head will always find Viktor’s shoulder, and Viktor will learn that playing with Jayce’s hair further settles his restless mind and channels his thoughts towards solutions. Whatever else there is, the most important goal to further all other goals of Viktor’s life is to keep the partnership. In the partnership there is the work, the thrill. The endless infinitesimal ways they fit together, two pieces destined to find the other. In the moment, Viktor takes up his notes and marvels again on the nature of fate, of probability, and of magic.
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omodance · 10 months ago
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Why is un-potty training so hot to me??? Literally going out of your wait to train your body not to hold in your piss anymore, slowly having more and more accidents until you’re just constantly dribbling 🤤
I’m imagining a beginning bathroom routine starting out with 3 hours of rapid desperation directly after waking up in the morning, followed by a series of holds lasting the rest of the day. Of course one would also be required to drink a liter of water before going to bed.
It would get harder and harder to make it through the night without waking up due to pains in your bladder demanding attention as the continuous holds weaken your muscles.
Eventually, after you’ve woken them up in the middle of the night begging to pee one too many times, the bladder dom would deign that all these holds before bed have been putting too much of a strain on your bladder. Obviously the answer is to make sure your bladder is nice and empty before bed, right? 3 hours of rapid desperation before bed is added to your routines, in combination with your 3 hours upon waking.
This change is what causes you to wet the bed for the first time. You woke up to pangs in your bladder as usual, but this time something is different. A faint hissing between your legs and the warm, comforting sensation pooling under your bottom alert you to wake up your bladder dom to inform them of your accident.
They just smile understandingly and pull you into a big hug. “It’s alright love, really. I should have known that you just can’t make it through the night anymore.”
And suddenly, you’re allowed to go as much as you want! In fact, you’re required to pee at least once every hour (except for night time where you still do rapid desperation before bed) And your bed is fitted with thick plastic covers to prevent mess, and your dom happily cleans up your now daily bed puddles.
This part is a little more niche, but at this point in the process I would love if the dom in this fantasy began daily sounding sessions, right after waking up. Loosining and opening your urethra up every morning after having tried (and failed) to hold your bladder during the night. By now you’re wetting at least twice every night anyways, and you’re so used to staying hydrated that you usually drink at least two glasses of water by the time morning comes. Just enough to ensure there’s still a bit of piss begging to come out after more hours than usual of waiting for release.
So they’d open you right up, a heavy hand pressing on your bladder as they coax all the piss out through your practically useless and permanently relaxing peehole. Maybe they even sneaks some sort if numbing solution on the sound to ensure that those muscles are never strong enough to hold back your pee again
Its not long after this new addition to this routine that you stop being able to make it to the bathroom every hour. In fact, it feels like your underwear is almost always soaked with dribbling leaks while you wait for each hour to pass - not because you have to, you can pee as much as you want- but because the feeling of truly losing control is finally setting in. Having multiple accidents a night is one thing, but not even being able to make it an hour or even 30 minutes without leaking piss is embarrassing!!!
Your dom notices you as you start potty dancing between frequent bathroom breaks, tutting as the wet spot grows between your legs. They follow you into the bathroom one day and wordlessly pull out some pull-ups that you had no idea were even around and silently slips them on you as you pee.
It isn’t long before you lose the inhibitions that have been holding you back and give in the the convenience of being able to dribble pee as often as you want ❤️ your once daily sounding turns to two. As you begin just using your pull ups constantly instead of the toilet, they are eventually replaced by super absorbent diapers. You probably couldn’t even hold your pee if you tried
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the-teufort-nine · 3 months ago
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The BLU Chemist Reader returns for their final fic! 11k words and about a week of work and beta reading by @pinkypiechar have led to this! I hope it lives up to expectations!
If you like the idea of a Chemist Reader, please consider checking out my longer, RED Chemist Fem!Reader fic, whenever I actually get around to writing it.
Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction PART 3: Chem and RED's Excellent Adventure
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Hurt/Comfort, Discussion of Poly Relationship, Crossfaction Flirting | NSFW, because while technically no sex happens, its definitely discussed/implied| Cw: starvation, mentions of graphic death/description of a corpse, mentions of pet death (non graphic), possesive behaviours ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Featuring:
Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here, as well as a particularly charming duo from the enemy team.
Scenario: Having been stranded at the new base with no hope of making it back to their team alone, the BLU Chemist must ask their mortal enemy for help. Thankfully, even a RED Engineer has some good ole' southern hospitality, and the Texan offers to get the BLU back to their team. (Un)fortunately, someone else has joined in on their little quest...
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The RED team's Engineer had seen many things during his time working for Mann Co., but the sight before him now may have been the strangest yet.
The BLU Chemist, whom everyone knew had died during that horrible Respawn failure, was standing on the other end of his trusty shotgun.
Well, standing might have been too generous a word. The Merc was swaying like a sapling in a storm, trembling from the effort of staying upright. Their usually vibrant eyes were dull behind their safety goggles, which didn't hug their face like usual. Everything they wore looked baggy and ill-fitting, barely hanging onto their gaunt, thin form. They looked dead, as though their soul had been dragged back from the afterlife and shoved into their corpse.
“How the hell…” he lowered his gun, blue eyes narrowing in disbelief, “Ain't you supposed to be dead?” 
“I was.” They shrugged weakly, stumbling slightly, “Now I'm not. I actually just died again a few hours ago, and I'm pretty sure my team might think I'm actually dead. Again.”
“Jesus Mary and Joseph.” The Engineer cursed, before opening the door wider. “Well, I reckon since it's a ceasefire, ah ain't bein’ paid t’ kill ‘ya, so y’ may as well come in. Just try ‘n keep the noise down, otherwise you're gonna have 9 curious bastards pokin’ atcha.”
“I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.” The BLU replied, wincing as they stepped into the illuminated interior. “Jesus, that's bright.”
“It really ain't.” The Southerner arched a concerned brow, “You’re just sick as a dog.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Came the Chemist’s grumbled response.
“Where’d you come from? Ain’t much ‘round here that could get ‘ya killed, aside from us.” He asked, extending a hand to steady his unexpected guest as they tilted towards the wall.
“Uhhhh,” The Chemist scrubbed at their eyes, letting their hand drag down their face. Their E/C eyes stared blankly at the wall as they tried to call forth an answer. “Colorado. Yeah, we were in Colorado. We had to stop at this little town called Limon ‘cause there was a tornado.”
“A tornado?”
“Yeah. It knocked down a utility pole. That’s how I died again, actually! Biggggg ole electric shock.”
Engineer let out a low whistle. “Nasty way to go. You are one unlucky sumbitch, huh?”
The Chemist inclined their head. “Or, I’m a lucky ‘sumbitch’, depending on how you look at it. I’ve cheated Death twice now, after all.”
Engineer snorted at their attempt to mimic his accent. It reminded him of his own team’s Chemist, who was tucked away upstairs, sleeping peacefully. She often copied his countryisms, and he would sometimes catch her unconsciously copying the accent or speech mannerisms of whomever she was speaking to.
“Maybe.” he acquiesced, “Yer a right tough bastard, ah’ll give ‘ya that. No wonder yer such a pain in the ass when we’re scrappin’.”
The other Merc grinned a bit. “Being a pain in the ass is my specialty.”
Before he knew it, Engineer found himself standing in the Intel room, where the base’s phone was located. Thankfully, their Intel was still packed away in a secure safe, but even if it wasn’t, the man was fairly sure that this BLU wouldn’t try and snag it.
“Here ‘ya are! Hope ‘ya get through to someone.” He said, offering the phone to the exhausted Chemist.
“‘Preciate it.” They said, taking the phone and punching in a few numbers. They leaned against the wall, head resting on the wood as they listened to the phone ring. After a minute, they frowned, letting out a soft curse.
“Pauling’s not picking up. The storm must have knocked out her signal.” They sighed, “Great. Guess I'm waiting back at our base for them to show up. Whenever that is.”
“Are you gonna be able to hang on that long?” The Texan questioned, “No offense, partner, but you look like yer gonna drop.”
The Chemist sighed again, in a long, drawn out way, the way someone did when bone deep exhaustion finally caught up to them. The way animals do when they've given all they can, and now simply must lie down and wait for the inevitable.
“It's not like I have much of a choice. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?” They asked.
“Well,” The RED Merc scratched at his chin, contemplating if what he was about to do was a good idea, “Ah don't know if you know this, but we're in good ‘ole Texas, and Colorado really ain't too far from where we're stationed. If ‘ya want, ah could drive ‘ya on over there.”
The BLU raised their head off the wall, eyes widening in surprise.
“You- you'd do that? For me? Why?” 
Engineer shrugged. “Ah feel bad fer ‘ya. ‘Sides, if you die, then they're gonna replace you with someone new, and ah rather prefer the enemy ah know to the enemy ah don't.”
The two mercenaries stared at one another for a long moment, the only sound being the cricket song coming from outside. Finally, the Chemist let out a dry, wheezing laugh, their teeth bared in a vicious grin.
“Good God I must be insane, trusting a RED.” They chuckled, “You know what? Sure, I'll take you up on that offer, cowboy.”
They reached forward and playfully tugged down the brim of Engineer's hat, causing him to lightly bat their hand away.
“Cream gravy! Alright, let's mosey on out then. Ah wanna be back before mah team starts wonderin’ where ah went.” He said, starting off in the direction of his truck, which was parked faithfully outside.
The Chemist plodded along behind him, and there were a few times where he had to glance back to make sure that they hadn't fallen behind too much. When they finally did make it to the truck, Engineer let them climb into the passenger seat while he nipped over to the trunk. Flipping it open, he pulled out an old, well loved blanket. It was black and white and gray striped, something he'd gotten for his childhood dog, Bucket. Bucket had been a fat, lazy beagle who did nothing but lounge around and bark at guests, but the man had loved him more than anything.
Bucket had passed away some time ago, but he'd never stopped taking the blanket along with him. Now, it would finally get to see some use again.
“Here,” he passed the blanket to the shivering Merc, “It ain't much, but it should help keep ‘ya from freezin’ over ‘till the heat kicks on.”
“T- Thanks.” The Chemist replied, gingerly taking the offered fabric. They thumbed the worn fabric, setting it across their lap.
“No problem.” Engineer replied, shutting the door to his side. 
For a moment, it almost sounded like one of the back doors had shut as well, and he looked back over his shoulder, eyes squinting in the low light. His gaze lingered for a moment, but when nothing revealed itself, he slowly turned back around and started up the truck.
“Ah’ve got a map in ‘m glove box. Pull it out and let's find that little town of yers.”
The Chemist nodded, and Engineer put the truck into drive.
It was going to be a long drive.
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A couple of hours into their trek, the RED Engineer noticed that his passenger was starting to droop more than usual. Worse than that, he could hear their stomach growling like an ornery gator every few minutes.
Wordlessly, he eyed up the nearby fast food places before pulling off the road they'd been driving on. The Chemist didn't even seem to notice, too preoccupied with just staying somewhat awake.
“You up for a snack, Darl’?” He asked, gently nudging the BLU.
“Mnhm.” They mumbled back, “C’n I have m’ cheeseburger yet?”
“Sure, we can do a McDonald's run.” Engineer replied, turning into the nearest drive through.
He quickly placed an order for both his guest and himself, paying and grabbing the food before finding a spot to park.
“Here ‘ya go. One genuine American cheeseburger.” The Texan said, handing the Chemist their food.
The Chemist stared at the offered meal, gently cradling the wrapped burger in their hands, as though it were some sort of priceless treasure.
“Engie, I could genuinely suck your dick right now.” They said softly, before sinking their teeth into the cheeseburger, not even bothering to take off the wrapper.
The RED Merc’s face turned the same shade as his uniform, and he pulled down his hat to hide his rosey cheeks.
“Don't- y’ cant just-” he stumbled, trying to make words come out of his mouth properly, “Jesus, don't eat the wrapper!”
“Sorieh, ah can't heawr you.” The Chemist replied through a mouthful of cheeseburger and cheeseburger wrapper, “Ahm too buwsy eaghting.”
“At least slow down.” He muttered, tucking into his own food.
And yes, he did take the wrapper off, thank you very much.
“Yes, please do. I have no desire to see you hork down that disgusting slop like a wild beast.”
Both BLU and RED mercenaries choked as a third voice piped up from the back, scaring them out of their wits. 
“SPY!” Engineer whirled around as the Chemist hacked up their mouthful of food, the BLU thankfully having the wherewithal to stick their head out of the window, “What the hell do you think you're doing here?! How did you even get in mah truck?!”
“I followed you and slipped into the back when you were rooting around for that rag.” Spy replied, indicating to the blanket, which had halfway slipped down onto the floor. “What are you doing here, labourer? Having some sort of illicit affair with zhe enemy?”
“If- If you actually thought that,” the Chemist coughed, pounding on their chest, “then you hiding out in the back is super creepy, dude.”
“Yeah, well bein’ a creep is about all this one knows.” Engineer grit out, nostrils flaring like an enraged bull, “But usually, he knows better than to try that with me.”
“I was simply curious as to why you were sneaking off with someone who is supposed to be dead.” The masked man said, producing a cigarette from one of his pockets, “Zhe Administrator is not going to be pleased when she finds out you have been acting rather… friendly with each other.”
“Yeah, well, what is she gonna do, kill me?” The Chemist snarked. “If she wanted me dead, she wouldn't have let Pauling go ‘n get me. I must be worth more to her alive than dead.”
“She ain't got no eyes here anyway.” Engineer added, “Trust me. Ah personally go over every inch of mah equipment and vehicles at least once a week, t’ check for any bugs or cameras. Mah Betsy is as clean as a whistle.”
Engineer moved like a striking cobra, his prosthetic hand closing around Spy's suit jacket. The Frenchman dropped his cigarette as he was jerked forward, a flicker of fear coming over his face.
“And you, spook, ain't gonna breathe a damn word to Her ‘bout anything that happens on this trip, ‘cause if you do,” he tightened his grip, the metal components straining slightly under the pressure, “ah’ll know, and you won't like what happens next.”
Spy rolled his eyes, but both the Chemist and the Engineer could see that the man was sufficiently intimidated.
“Very well, I shall be silent about your little ‘road trip.’” he sneered, “And zhe Chemist's generous offer.”
“Great.” Engineer said cheerily through gritted teeth, “Ah can tell this is gonna be real fun.”
“Yippee.” The Chemist added dully, before taking another bite of their burger.
“Wh- TAKE OFF THE DAMN WRAPPER!”
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Travelling with the RED Engineer had been surprisingly nice. It was almost like being back with your own Engineer, what with the southern man being so kind and polite to you, despite you both being on opposing sides.
Travelling with the RED Spy was not nearly as pleasant.
Him and the Engineer bickered almost constantly, and when they weren't bickering, Spy started semi-flirting, semi-picking on you, which usually led to yet another round of bickering.
Truly, it was almost like being stuck in a car with two overgrown toddlers.
“Is he always this insufferable?” You hissed to Engineer after Spy started listing off all the ways your outfit was offending the very concept of clothing.
“No.” Engineer sighed, looking very much like he'd like to drive all three of you into a ditch, “He's purposefully bein’ more of an ass than usual ‘cause you're here. Usually, he's a lot more quiet.”
“I'd like to see that.” You groused, before refocusing on the map in your lap. Your previous consumed cheeseburger and fries felt uncomfortably heavy in your weakened stomach, but they did help to restore some of your lost energy.
“Okay, it looks like we need to take a left in about 6 miles. We'll be turning onto Canyon Rd.” You read aloud, “We'll be on that one for a while.”
“It's real nice to have someone along who can actually read a map.” Engineer chuckled, “Usually, it's either Scout, Solly, or Pyro who rides with me into town every time we need t’ get supplies, and none ‘a them are any help when it comes to navigatin.’”
“Heh, yeah, mine aren't real great at that either.” You smiled, thinking of all the times you'd heard the three of them bickering on missions.
“Are zhose three good for anything besides destroying zhings?” Spy asked, lounging in the back like a smug cat.
“Sure.” You replied, not looking up from the map, “My Scout's actually really good at impersonating other people, Soldier is a baking whiz when it comes to bread, and Pyro can sniff out backstabbing French bastards like nobody else.”
Spy definitely didn't start pouting as Engineer started cackling like a madman, his shoulders shaking with mirth. You grinned at the sound, your own quiet chuckles joining in.
“Hooo-wee! They gotcha there, slim!” he laughed, wiping at his eye.
Spy glared. “I'm glad you find zhe idea of me dying so amusing, toymaker.” 
“Oh, lighten up, would you.” You glanced back over your shoulder to look at the masked man, “Are you seriously going to tell me you guys don't joke about killing us?”
“I don't joke about killing,” Spy sniffed, “I just kill.”
Engineer snorted as you rolled your eyes, turning back to your map. “Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say, frog legs. Turn left up here, Engie.”
“No insulting names for zhe cowpoke?” Spy arched his brow.
“Considering he's been nothing but nice to me? No. Maybe if you turn your attitude around, I'll think of something nicer to call you, too.”
“I have no desire to be as, ah, close as you two seem to be.”
You gripped the seat as you whipped around again, eyes widened in anger-tinged disbelief. “Holy shit are you still fixated on that? What, do you want me to offer to suck you off too?!”
Spy recoiled back a bit, stiffening up as the exposed skin of his upper cheeks turned a shade of pink usually reserved for flowers. However,
He didn’t say no.
“Oh, my God.” You said, raising your brows as a smirk pulled the corner of your mouth upwards, “Oh, my God.”
“Merde, no, zhat’s not what I-”
“Well,” You relaxed your grip on the seat and folded your arms, tilting your head slightly as you watched Spy squirm, looking every bit like the cat that got the cream, “you’d have to be very nice to me to get that sort of offer.”
“Je vais t'éviscérer comme un poisson si tu continues à parler!”
“Now, see, I don’t know what you just said, but it didn’t sound very nice.” You turned back around, barely holding in your laughter, “No blowjob offer for you. I guess you won’t have to share, Engie.”
“Well don’t that beat all?” Engineer replied playfully, “You sure yer team won’t mind, though?”
“The way I see it,” You said, readjusting the blanket the man had given you, “you have gone out of your way to bring me back to them, and you let me actually eat the cheeseburger you bought me. They can suck it up.”
“Sounds like you’ll be the one suckin’.” The Texan murmured under his breath, too quiet for you to hear.
“What was that?”
“Nothin!” Engineer replied, “Just talkin’ t’ m’self.”
“Is that a thing all engineers do?” You asked, “My Engie does that too, usually when he’s working on something.”
“Maybe. Mah Pa used to do it fer sure.” The RED Merc shrugged, “Wait, does yer Engineer let y’all into his workshop?”
“Well, he let’s me and Pyro in.” You said, recalling all the times you and the firebug had hung out in the space, “Sometimes Medic is allowed in, but everyone else gets the boot, unless he calls them in to help him with something.”
“Interesting.” Spy said, apparently having recovered from his embarrassment enough to speak, “Zhis one has barred us all from entering his sacred domain. Not even our Chemist get’s zhat privilege. You must mean quite a bit to him.”
“If y’all didn’t go ‘round putin’ yer grubby mitts all over everything, maybe I would let y’ in.” Engineer smacked the steering wheel, frustration in his tone, “Honestly, it’s like herdin’ cats when I let y’all anywhere near mah stuff! ‘Sides, don’tcha remember what happened the last time I let someone play around with mah equipment, Spy?”
“Oui.” Spy shuddered, “I don’t zhink we will ever fully get zhe smell of bread yeast out of zhat base.”
“I’m sorry- bread yeast?” You shot the two RED members a confused look, “What does bread have to do with you not letting anyone near your stuff?”
“It’s a long story, but I suppose we got the time.” Engineer cleared his throat, “It all started one afternoon. We’d just got done killin’ yer team and makin’ off with yer Intelligence…”
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Engineer and Spy’s wild tale of love, RED victory, and bread monsters kept you entertained for the next few hours or so, the three of you eventually getting sidetracked by various other topics. By the time the sun started to rise over the Colorado horizon, the conversation had switched to being about everyone’s favourite foods.
“Look, there ain’t nothin’ better fer breakfast than a nice cup’ a coffee, bacon ‘n eggs with a side of buttered toast, biscuits, and sausage gravy ‘n grits.” Engineer said, voice full of confidence.
“I think I would actually explode if I ate all of that.” You stuck out your tongue, feeling ill at just the thought of eating so much food. If this man ate like that every morning, then it was no wonder that he sported such a plump figure in comparison to most of his other teammates.
Not that you were complaining.
“I agree, mon petit saphir.” Spy said, curling his lip. “Zhat is a disgusting amount of food for zhe very first meal of zhe day.”
“Ooh, whatever that name was, it sounded a lot nicer.” You said teasingly. “See? I knew you could do it!”
“Well would ‘ya look at that? You actually got him to simmer down.” Engineer grinned, ducking when Spy swiped irritably at his head, “Maybe you should come join up with RED. We could probably stash you away somewhere, hand y’ over to Spy when we need him to settle.”
You laughed, imagining yourself with a little service animal harness. “Tell you what, If my team decides to murder me for dying again right in front of ‘em, I’ll switch sides.” 
“Heh, partner, you’ve got yerself a deal.” Engineer stuck out his hand, and you gripped it, giving it the best shake your weak arms could manage. 
“It seems as zhough you’ll be making your decision sooner rather zhan later.” Spy leaned forward and pointed at an upcoming road sign, which read “Limon Welcomes You!”
“Oh SHIT we’re here!” You sat forward quickly, before wincing and holding your head, “Oh, woof, headrush. That was a bad idea.”
“Good Lord, this place has seen better days.” Engineer said, gazing at the many fallen tree branches and damaged buildings, “Where did you say y’all were stayin’ again?”
“We sheltered in an old garage near the outskirts of town.” You replied, wincing at the amount of damage you saw, “I hope they haven’t gone too far, but I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to get away as soon as possible.”
“I doubt zhey wanted to linger around your charred corpse.” You nodded grimly at Spy’s comment, not particularly looking forward to seeing it yourself, but needing to check if your team was still around.
Soon enough, the three of you pulled up to the abandoned mechanic shop. The building looked even worse than when you had last seen it, and the lack of nearby vehicles did not make you feel particularly hopeful that you would find your team here. Still, your temporary RED companion pulled over and hopped out of his truck, putting a steadying hand on your shoulder when he saw you struggling to maintain your balance. Spending so many hours sitting down did not help your already weak legs to support your weight. Stepping inside the building proper, you were careful to avoid the downed utility pole and various cables. Only a few feet away from the door lay an unmoving mass with a familiar colour scheme.
Seeing your own dead body never got any less unsettling. Usually, it was blown into unrecognizable pieces, or shot so full of bullet holes that it resembled red and blue swiss cheese, but this time it was wholly intact, save for the skin that had burned and blackened from the intense heat of the electricity that had rocketed through your body. The stench of burnt clothes, hair, skin, and the early stages of rot permeated the still air, and you quickly tugged your respirator on in disgust. 
“Eugh, thank God I ate earlier, because I think I just lost my appetite.” You scrunched your nose, pulled down your goggles over your eyes, and began gathering chemicals from the various pockets and vials on your person. “Step outside, gentlemen, I’ll have this gone in a moment.”
The two RED’s quickly nodded and left, eager to get away from the smell and knowing exactly how dangerous your materials could be.
After a few minutes and a decent amount of hydrogen fluoride and antimony pentafluoride later, you emerged from the workshop’s interior to see Engineer kneeling on the ground, looking at some tire tracks that you hadn’t noticed before.
“Looks like they turned themselves ‘round and went back the way they came. They’re probably takin’ one’a the nearby backroads.”
“Think you can catch up to them?” You asked, praying that you wouldn’t have to return to your new base without your team. You wouldn’t be able to make it by yourself, and you doubted that the rest of the RED team would be as kind and hospitable as their Engineer had been.
The Texan gave you a sharp grin as he pushed himself up, dusting off his overalls.
“Do sheep wear sweaters? Hop in, and ah’ll show ‘ya just how fast ol’ Betsy can be.”
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If you asked Florence if she knew her mercenaries well, you’d probably end up with a bullet in your skull, because you were not supposed to know about her mercenaries. Well, technically, they were Reliable Excavation & Demolition and Builders League United’s mercenaries, and, really, the Administrator’s above even them, but she was the one who scouted them out, checked in on them, interacted with them, gave them their assignments, and helped cover up their fuck ups. 
So, yeah, they were her mercenaries. And you weren’t supposed to know about them, so now you’re lying in a shallow grave after getting very well acquainted with her hacksaw.
But if she pondered your question after the fact, then she’d say that, yeah, she did. She’d spent almost all of her very limited free time around them for the last few years, after all, and she kept an eye on them through the various hidden cameras almost as much as her boss did. She knew both teams equally well, easily picking out each of their many similarities, as well as all their little quirks and differences. For example, she knew that the RED Scout had far more freckles than the BLU one. She knew that the BLU Soldier was actually slightly more tame than his counterpart, and that he wore earplugs more often than not, though he is dedicated to never ever letting anyone find out. She knew that both Pyro’s were afraid of the dark, and she knew the exact brand of cigarettes the Spies liked to order.
She knew that both teams were full of loud, borderline rabid, bat-shit insane lunatics that enjoyed the thrill of killing almost as much as she did, maybe even more. She knew, from experience, just how difficult it was to get most of them to quiet down.
Which is what made the situation she was in so damn eerie.
She was back in Spy’s car, having taken the now available passenger seat. Her eyes kept flicking to the neatly folded blanket in Spy’s lap, its minky blue fabric still damp from the rain. The car was silent, save for the occasional muffled wheeze from Pyro, who had just about cried themself hoarse. Medic was sitting next to the arsonist, hands folded as he stared out the window. To a regular onlooker, he likely would have appeared chillingly nonchalant or uncaring. However, as has been established, Florence Pauling personally knew the men she hired to kill each other, and so she was able to see the little cracks in the man’s facade; the way his lips twitched occasionally, like they almost started to wobble before he caught himself, the slow, controlled breaths he was taking, the way his eyes were wet behind his glasses.
Spy was much the same; a perfect picture of poise and aloofness, unless you knew where to look. His suit had been left lightly rumpled, his expensive leather gloves creaked when his hands shifted, showing just how hard he was gripping the wheel, and his mouth was set in an unnaturally tense line. Occasionally, one of his hands would release their death grip on the steering wheel and slip down to feel the blanket in his lap, gently rolling the fabric between his thumb and forefinger.
None of them spoke. 
What was there to say? What could any of them possibly say to make this situation better? 
What could she say? ‘Sorry for your loss, let me fax you those application forms Medic shredded?’ ‘I know you’re mourning, but we need to hurry up and get back so you can all go back to killing the RED team, which still has their Chemist?’ 
No, silence was the better option here by far.
The purple-clad woman leaned back in her seat, head resting against the window as she committed to memory the sound of a tired yet happy voice saying her name, and the feeling of gloved hands pushing her back towards safety. It was better to think of that, rather than the sight of the BLU Chemist’s body spasming wildly before collapsing to the ground, their smoking body giving a few last jerking, dying nerve reactions. 
As she stared out into the vast, dusty nothingness of the New Mexico landscape, something odd began to appear in the corner of her vision. At first, she thought it was a mirage, a strange flash of red in an otherwise sky blue and sand yellow landscape. 
But then it didn’t go away. 
In fact, it actually began to get bigger, becoming clearer and more defined as whatever it was drew closer. On instinct, she reached for the radio and tuned it to a specific frequency, drawing confused looks from her fellow passengers.
“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but something’s coming at us. Fast.” she said, leaning in close to the speaker.
“What zhe hell?” Spy said from her left, taking his eyes off the road to squint towards the horizon.
Pyro and Medic peered outside as well, squeezing in close so they could both get a look at the strange thing that was approaching.
“Sniper, can you get eyes on that thing?” Engineer asked over the radio.
Yeah mate. Just gimme a sec.” came the marksman’s reply.
Turning around in her seat, the raven could see Sniper’s van through the rear window. The man was in the passenger seat now, holding up his rifle and peering through the scope. After a moment, he jerked back, a look of shock on his face. He ducked his head back down to look again, as though he wasn’t sure he’d seen something right. In the driver’s seat, Heavy, who had taken the wheel, gave his teammate a confused and slightly concerned look.
Sniper lowered his rifle after another few moments passed, sliding back into his seat as he shouted something to Heavy, who’s confusion visibly deepened. The Russian did a double take when the marksman said something else, and he quickly said something back to the Australian, who shook his head and pointed out towards the still encroaching… whatever it was.
“Sniper wants team to slow down.” Heavy relayed, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t onboard with the idea. “Says that he… believes he saw leetle Chemist.”
“Oh joy,” Spy snarled, baring his teeth in clear disdain as he spoke into the radio, “our Sniper has finally lost it. I knew too much time spent in zhat deathtrap of his would eventually get to him.”
“Ah hate ‘t say it, but ah agree with Spy. We all- we all saw what happened to ‘em. Even if they survived comin’ back again, they'd have died of exposure, thirst, or starvation by now.” Engineer added glumly, “‘Sides, how in the Sam Hill would they get all the way out here? Snipes, ah think you should maybe go lie down for a bit while we deal with whatever's chasin’ us.”
“What is that?” Pauling asked in a low whisper, rolling down her window to get a better view.
Tuning out the sound of fully grown men bickering behind her, she focused on the anomaly. It was a bright, almost familiar shade of red, and it was kicking up quite a bit of dust as it moved across the desert. Pushing herself slightly out of the window, she picked up on the faint sound of… an engine?
Wait a damn minute.
Wait a Goddamn fucking minute.
Faster than a striking rattlesnake on cocaine, Pauling whipped her phone out and began dialing, holding it up to her ear. After a few rings, a man answered in a thick, smug-sounding Southern drawl.
“Why hello Miss Pauling! To what do ah owe the pleasure?”
“Engie, you fucking asshole!” Florence screeched, getting a confused, offended yell from the BLU Engineer, who could still hear what was being said over their shared transmission, “Did you seriously find the BLU Chemist and not tell me?! Do you know how mad the Administrator was going to be at me?!”
She could hear the RED Spy's telltale snorting cackles in the background of the call, while his BLU counterpart looked the farthest thing from amused.
“Qu'est-ce que c'est? Il vaut mieux que ce ne soit pas une mauvaise blague, sinon je jure devant Dieu que je tâcherai de rouge le sable autour de moi.” he growled as he began to slow down, shooting a deadly glare at what was now obviously a RED vehicle, likely their Engineer's truck.
“Woah now lil’ missy, we didn't mean any harm by it. You were outta range back at the base, and ah just figured it'd be easier to just deliver ‘em right to ‘ya.” The RED chuckled, “Iffen y'all are lookin’ t’ shoot us as soon as we come near, though, then we can always keep ‘em. They make pretty good company, and ‘ah know Spy likes ‘em well enough to help vouch for ‘em to the rest of the team.”
“Shoot you, what are you-” the young woman turned around, spotting several members of BLU pointing their weapons at the approaching REDs, “Scout, Soldier, Sniper! Put your guns away- Engie DROP IT!” 
The other Texan had been gearing up to toss down a mini sentry, but paused at his boss’s shout. Disgruntled, he acquiesced, dropping the beeping little robot back down onto the seat.
“Now that's a might bit better. Chem, you wanna take over communications?” The RED Engineer said, before sounds of rustling fabric and a quiet ‘Thank you!’ came over the line.
“Hey, P.” Pauling could almost hear the smile in the other's voice, something that was rather impressive, given the explosion of noise that came over the radio at the sound, “Guess who's two for two on kicking Death's ass?”
“Hello, Chemist.” She replied softly, smiling back, “Are you alright?”
“Oh yeah, I'm fine!” The mercenary replied quickly, sounding tired, but cheerful, “These two have been great company. Well, Engie has, at least- Spy I'm kidding- and guess what? I finally got my cheeseburger!”
“Zhose are not vhat you should be eating!” Medic chastised from the back, “Zhey are nothing but empty calories! 
“Shut up! I was hungry, and Sniper didn’t let me have mine!”
“Chem,” Pauling interrupted, not wanting to be caught in the middle of another argument, “I’m happy you’re alive, really, I am, but how did you get here?”
“Oh, I Respawned at the new base. I guess the system kicked on because the other team was already there.” the Chemist explained, “I tried calling you, but it didn’t go through, so Engie offered to take me so I didn’t, you know, curl up and die.”
“I… wow, that was really nice of him.”
“Yeah, it was. I seriously owe him for this. I’ll have to buy him a nice dinner some time, or, uh,” they snickered, clearly trying to muffle their laughter, “do something for him.”
Florence got the feeling that she was missing something here.
Judging by the intense glares and scowls Medic, Spy, and likely Pyro were directing towards the truck, which was now close enough for her to pick out details, she knew she wasn’t the only one who picked up on the Chemist’s friendly tone.
“Whatever it is you two end up doing, just remember that, if you want me to not have to rat you out, the Administrator cannot know about it, which means I can’t know about it.” the purple-clad woman stressed.
“I would certainly like to know what zhat cow-boy analphabète believes our Chemist shall be doing for him.” Spy muttered lowly, finally bringing the car to a stop as the RED Engineer’s truck parked on the dusty scrubland a few feet away from them.
“No fighting guys. We don’t need anyone else having to risk not coming back.” Florence warned.
Like a pack of stalking wolves, the nine BLU mercenaries leapt out of their respective vehicles and formed an almost defensive group, most of them having only heard bits and pieces of the phone call, but understanding that they were not here to fight. They walked with an air of tenseness, hands flexing as they resisted the urge to reach for their weapons, clearly feeling uneasy in this unprecedented situation.
Still, there was a clear feeling of nervous excitement. The emotional whiplash of the past few hours had left their emotions raw and more sensitive than usual. All of them stopped when the passenger door of the dusty red truck opened with a soft ‘click!’, the wearily smiling face of their teammate popping up over the metal as they shuffled carefully towards the road.
“CHEM!” Scout yelled, unable to hold himself back anymore. A fond smile made its way onto Pauling’s face as she watched the young Bostonian dash over and scoop the other mercenary up, spinning them around for a moment before gently setting them back down on their feet.
Like deadly, man-slaughtering ducklings, the rest of BLU followed after, warmly welcoming their missing friend back into the fold. Medic was on the Chemist in an instant, examining them while asking more questions than was probably necessary. Soldier gave them what was likely meant to be a gentle pat on the back, but which ended up nearly sending poor Y/N to the ground. 
Meanwhile, Pauling, Spy, and Engineer moved to greet the RED team members, who were stepping out of the vehicle themselves. The two men at Pauling’s side kept their professional appearances well, but she knew they’d like nothing more than to give into their instincts and go for their counterparts’ throats.
“Hey guys,” Florence started, hoping to make this conversation as smooth and bloodshed-free as possible, “thank you so much for bringing the Chemist back. I’ll arrange for your team to get a bonus or something for this, I promise.”
“Aw shucks,” the RED Engineer replied, tipping his hat, “it weren’t no trouble. Ahm sure y’all woulda done the same if y’ were in our shoes.”
“But of course.” the BLU Spy responded, “We’re mercenaries, not monsters.”
“What you are is lucky. Your Chemist should have never survived zhe first time, let alone a second.” the opposite colour Frenchman said, producing a cigarette to light, “Tell me, has your team figured out why Respawn went down?”
The BLU Engineer frowned. “Can’t say we have. I reckon y’all haven’t either, then?”
“Unfortunately not. It's got our team all twisted up with worry, ‘specially our Chemist. The stress has been makin’ her feel just plum awful these past few days.” the crimson-clad Texan sighed, pushing up his goggles to pinch the area between his eyes, “To be honest wit ‘ya, ah’d somewhat hoped that travelin’ with yer one might’a given me some answers, or at least an idea of what went wrong, but ah couldn’t find one single tell. If yer feelin’ amicable enough, ah’d like to work with ya t’ find the problem, so we can all stop bein’ so damn nervous.”
“Hmm.” the BLU Engineer hummed, resting a hand on his chin before glancing over at his boss, “Would that be alright, Miss Pauling?”
Florence adjusted her glasses and nodded. “Usually it wouldn’t, but under these circumstances, I’m sure the Administrator will understand.”
Suddenly, she jumped, remembering something.
“Oh, shit! Guys, we actually need to get going! I need to give the RED Chemist a contract and, like, a thousand other things that have been piling up since I’ve been gone.” She said apologetically, before turning to the RED team members, “Do you two mind if I ride back with you?”
“‘Course not.”
“It’s always a pleasure to have you around, mademoiselle.”
“Okay, great!” the raven said, smoothing down her skirt. She looked over at her companions, tilting her head slightly, “You’ll be fine getting back, right?”
They nodded, and started walking back over to rejoin their teammates. They explained that their employer wouldn’t be coming back with them, and, to her surprise, Chemist pulled away from the rest of the BLUs, walking as fast as they could over to her.
“Hey, I just wanted to ask if you were alright before you left.” The goggle-wearing chemist said, their worry clear in their voice as they laid a hand on her shoulder, “You were pretty close to that powerline too, and I wasn’t sure if you’d gotten injured or not.”
“I’m fine, Chem.” Florence reassured, giving her friend a smile, “My clothes are going to smell like burned cloth and skin for a bit, but that’s it. You got me out of the way in time. Thank you, for that, by the way.”
The Chemist inclined their head, smiling back before turning their attention to the two RED Mercs. “You two get her back safe, understand? I’d hate to have to kill you permanently after all this.” they joked, pointing a ‘stern’ finger at them.
The RED Engineer raised his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t worry, Darl’, she’ll get there right as rain.”
He stepped forward, took the white cowboy hat off his head, and plopped it down onto the Chemist’s, tugging it down gently to secure it.
A few feet away, the other Engineer’s mechanical hand nearly crushed his gun as he shot daggers at his counterpart. 
“Y’ can give me that back when y’all finally show up at the base.” he smirked, “And, iffen yer still up for it, ah think I’ll take ‘ya up on that offer of yours from earlier.”
The Chemist turned a very interesting shade of pink as they tipped the brim of the hat up slightly, revealing that their pupils were blown wide.
“Mnhm, sounds good.” they replied softly, before spinning on their heels and making a beeline for their teammates. 
“I-” Florence started, before cutting herself off, 
“You know what? It’s better if I don’t know what that’s all about.”
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You watched as the RED Engineer, Spy, and Miss Pauling drove off, waving to them as best you could.
“Well, ain’t you ‘n them real close.” Engineer said in a tight voice. While it was quite hard to tell where the man was looking most of the time, you got the distinct feeling that he was staring at your new accessory.
“I had to listen to them argue for, like, half the trip.” You replied, “If you come out of that having not murdered them or killed yourself, then it's because you learned to like them.”
“Kinda sounded like you didn’t just like ‘em.” Scout pouted, crossing his arms, “What the hell did youse three get up to?”
“Well let’s see.” You raised your hand, ticking off your fingers as you recounted your joyous road trip shenanigans, “I got the ever loving shit scared out of me by the RED Spy, melted my own corpse, got a cheeseburger so absolutely scrumptious I offered to suck off the RED Engineer,”
“You did what now?!” your Engineer yelped.
“I listened to two fully grown men bicker like toddlers, got regaled with a tale of bread monsters, got my outfit called every French insult under the sun, and passed out from, like, severe malnutrition, probably.” You finished.
“Uh, can we walk that back a couple’a steps, mate?” Sniper asked, flushing pink.
“What, you mean the bread monster? Yeah, no, I didn’t believe it at first either, but Spy swears-”
“Not the bloody bread monster, ya daft tit!” Demo groaned, slapping a hand onto his face, “Why the bleedin’ hell are ya offerin’ t’ give our enemy a gobble?!
“Dear GOD, have they brainwashed you?!” Soldier gasped suddenly, “I swear, I will hunt down each and every one of those communist RED bastards if they so much as touched-”
“Woah, woah, woah!” You rushed to clear up the misconception, “Easy, Sol! No one did anything to me, I promise. I’m still one hundred percent me.”
“Zhen vhy…?” Medic questioned, coughing into his gloves as he trailed off.
“It started as just a joke, honestly. I wasn’t seriously thinking about acting on it at first, but when their Spy accidentally revealed that he was jealous, I started thinking about it a little bit more.” You shrugged, “Plus, well… he’s hot! And he’s nice! And he’s clearly into the idea, so… why not?”
“Why not? Why not?” Spy growled, “Because you are ours! You wear zhe same uniform and kill zhe same men as us! You are a member of BLU, and your standards should be higher zhan zhe first, non, not even zhe first, man who shows even zhe slightest interest in you! Il n’y a aucune raison de se prostituer à ce gros, analphabète Texan!”
You threw your hands up into the air, letting out your own growl of annoyance.
“Look, unless one of you is going to help me take care of my needs when I’m better, I’m walking my ass over to that pretty little base they have!” You stated firmly, crossing your arms and tilting your chin up in a petty, almost defiant way. “Maybe I’ll even proposition the rest of ‘em, I don’t know!”
“Oh my freakin’ GOD!” Scout yelled, “We are literally right here! I don’t know a guy on this team that wouldn’t fuck you if you just asked!”
There was a moment of silence after that sentence, the Bostonian’s words echoing slightly in the empty desert scrubland. The ten of you all stood there, turning red from something that wasn’t the harsh New Mexico sun.
Heavy made a sound first, awkwardly clearing his throat. 
“Scout is- what is word- tactless, but he is also… not wrong.”
“Er, yeah,” Sniper scratched at the back of his neck, “the big guy's got it right. It's just we, uh…”
“Mh muph mmnmnh mhmh.” Pyro finished, talking animatedly with their hands.
“The arsonist is correct.” Spy agreed, still looking a bit flustered under his mask, “This is far from something that is easily brought up.” 
You blinked slowly at your team, absorbing the information. Now, technically, you'd heard this all before, right before you'd died, but hearing it again solidified it in your mind as being real. 
“Well shit.” You swore, planting your hands on your hips, “We all could have been a lot happier ages ago, huh?”
The gathered mercenaries made various sounds of awkward agreement.
“Okay, we definitely need to talk about this, and I mean a real conversation, not all of us standing around like idiots, cooking our brains in the sun while we all blush over the fact that you'd all like a piece of me.” You said, “But I think I'd rather talk in the comfort of our base, wouldn't you all agree?”
Your teammates nodded in agreement, dispersing into their chosen groups as they started back towards your vehicles.
“Yo, Chem, you ridin’ with us?” Scout asked hopefully, hooking his arm beneath yours instinctively as you wobbled slightly. He looked as though he was still feeling a bit hot under the collar, but was doing his very best to keep your conversation casual. 
“Sorry, Scout, but I think I’m gonna pass out soon if I don’t lay down.” you admitted. “I promise I’ll spend some time with you when we get back. Maybe I could help you pack when I’m feeling a bit better?”
“Don’t even worry ‘bout it. You should focus on gettin’ bettah first.” Scout replied, leading you towards Sniper’s campervan, “‘Sides, I already packed up most of my crap, and I think Pyro handled your stuff, so you can just take it easy. Pretty sure the Doc is gonna make you stay in the Medbay, anyway.”
“Scout is correct, mein Chemiker.” Medic piped up, matching your slow, careful stride as he came up beside you, “Now don’t give me zhat face; it vill only be for a few days. I just want to ensure that jou are okay after going through Respawn again in jour state.”
Your expression, which had been one of pouty, light annoyance at being forced into mandatory bedrest in the Medbay, softened a bit. You could hear the genuine concern in the German’s voice, and you knew he had good reason to be. You yourself were worried that something might have gotten messed up, and you knew you were due for another round of supplement shots.
Still, it was going to suck to not be in your own room, surrounded by your familiar comforts. You knew that you’d have a lot of pent up energy by the time you got out.
Huh, actually… you could think of a few fun ways to burn off any excess energy.
“Okay, Doc, I’ll come to my appointment, I promise.” you said, smiling, “But this time, I get to choose the operating room music. You’re not cutting me open to Lili Marlén again.”
“But jou said zhat jou enjoyed it last time! Lale Andersen has zhe voice of ein Engel.” Medic pouted.
“Yeah, but if you keep playing it while you're dissecting my spleen, I’m always going to associate it with getting picked apart like a biology student’s frog.” you explained, “I won’t pick anything too bad, swear on my good beakers!”
“Hmph, I vill hold you to zhat.” the doctor warned teasingly, “Zhere vill be no more ‘Sugar Pie Honey Bunch’ in my operating room.”
“Ugh, you’re so boring.” you teased right back, sticking your tongue out at the man as Scout handed you off to Sniper, who had a fond, lopsided smile on his face. “Hey there, Stretch. Mind helping me to the bed?”
“Not at all, mate.” Sniper replied, laying a warm, sturdy arm across your shoulders, “Not at all.”
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Sure enough, after around two weeks of being kept in the Medbay upon your return, your prediction of being just about ready to explode with unreleased energy had proven to be true. Your organs had actually suffered a bit of damage this time around, which had necessitated a longer stay. On top of that, you had needed to move to the new base midway through your treatment, which hadn’t helped things. However, this also meant that Medic could focus on accelerating your healing, and by the time you pranced out of those swinging double doors, you were feeling like your old self again.
Scout and Soldier were waiting there for you, just as they had been on the day you’d failed to come back.
“Heyyyyy, there you are! Freakin’ finally.” Scout whooped, bringing you into a tight hug. You returned it, squeezing back with all your regained strength, “Oof! Yup, you’re bettah alright!”
“Sure am.” you grinned, before releasing the Bostonian to tackle Soldier, who grinned and crushed you to his chest.
“It’s good to have you back in fighting shape, private! Your presence has been missed on the battlefield.” he said, patting you in between your shoulder blades, “Also, I just missed you.”
“I missed you too, Solly.” you replied, knocking your forehead against his helmet gently, “Show me around the base? I saw a bit of it when I Respawned here, but I wasn’t exactly taking in all the finer details.”
“Of course!” Soldier set you down, taking the lead as you, him, and Scout headed off down the hall.
He gave you a tour of the base and the battleground, loudly and excitedly chattering about all the great places to set up ambushes and assaults that this new location provided. You nodded along, adding your own ideas occasionally as you took in your surroundings, inhaling a lungful of warm, apple-scented air for the first time without pain. In a few days, the RED Chemist would be returning from her contract, and you would be returning to the fray, but for now you got to revel in the relative peace of the time between battles.
Eventually, Soldier led you to the barracks, showing you to your room. It had been partially set up; your bed was made and your uniforms had been hung up in your closet, but your casual clothes and personal belongings had been left in their moving boxes. You smiled softly when you flipped open the first box and spotted Pyro’s drawings sitting on top. The firebug had added a few new ones, depicting a healthy you and them frolicking through a shimmering candyland, or petting beautiful unicorns. You snorted with laughter at one of the last ones, which showed you and Pyro sitting aside a golden, fire-breathing dragon, flying high above the base, the arsonist flipping off the RED Spy and Engineer, who were being roasted by the beast.
Speaking of…
“Hey, has anyone seen my hat?” you asked Soldier and Scout, who were peering into one of your, currently empty, terrariums. The two mercenaries glanced at each other.
“Uh, I think Engie took it.” Scout rubbed his chin, “Kept mutterin’ something about the ‘cowboy hat rule.’ He sounded real pissed about it too.”
You tilted your head and frowned. “Cowboy hat rule? What the hell is that?”
“Dunno.” Scout shrugged, “You’d have to ask Hardhat.”
“Maybe I will.” you said, putting the drawings down, “Where is he?”
“The grease monkey is in his workshop!” Soldier said helpfully, “I saw him go in there before I went to wait for you.”
“Perfect,” you smiled, “I’ll be back soon, fellas. Oh, actually, could you two do me a favour?”
The men nodded.
“Tell the others I’d finally like to have that conversation we talked about.” you winked, stepping out the door, “We’ll talk at dinner, yeah?”
Slipping out into the hallway proper, you left two very warm-cheeked mercenaries behind.
“What are the chances we actually score tonight, you think?” Scout asked, biting his lip slightly.
“If Engie doesn’t make ‘em mad?” Soldier grinned, tipping up his helmet slightly, “I’d say I like our odds.”
“God, he bettah not screw dis up.” Scout huffed, folding his arms, “I hope he’s smart enough to just give Chem that hat.”
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“Ah ain’t givin’ you that hat.”
The Texan and the Chemist stood almost chest-to-chest, locked in a standoff. Engineer folded his arms and fixed his colleague with the firmest look he could muster, standing absolutely resolute in his decision.
Chemist set their jaw, squinting in annoyance.
“Engie,” they started, voice firm and tone indicating that they were done with this argument, “that hat was a temporary gift. I need to give it back. I don’t know why you’re being such an ass over this, but-”
“Because it ain’t a gift!” the man finally shouted, gritting his teeth.
Chemist reeled back as if they’d been struck, shocked at the man’s outburst. They blinked, then slowly shifted to a more passive stance.
“Okay, clearly I’m missing something here, and it’s making you upset.” they said, backing up a step to give Engineer some much needed space, “Mind filling me in? Does it have something to do with that ‘cowboy hat rule’ Scout mentioned?”
“It has everything to do with that.” Engineer sighed, deflating slightly as his anger returned to a very low simmer, “A cowboy’s hat is considered an extension of his body, a real special article of clothin’. If he puts it on someone’s head, or if someone takes it and puts it on, then that’s basically the same as sayin’ yer real interested in ‘em. The ‘rule’ is basically that if you wear the hat, y’gotta ride the cowboy.”
He folded his arms again, looking into Chemist’s wide eyes. “Him puttin’ that hat on ‘ya like he did and bein’ all flirtatious was almost like him brandin’ you; a real bold move to pull right in front of all of us. You bein’ so friendly ‘n receptive ‘bout it all was just salt in the wound, and now he’s been down right gloatin’ about it ever since we got here!”
Chemist winced, rubbing at the back of their neck. “Aw, jeeze, I’m- I’m sorry, Engie. I didn’t realize how much that might bother you. This has really been eating at you, huh?”
“It has.” he confessed, feeling slightly ashamed by just how much it bothered him, “Ah know yer a grown adult, and ah obviously can’t control what ‘ya do in yer free time, but as ahm sure you’ve figured out, we’re all rather fond of ‘ya, and I ain’t no exception. Seein’ you with him? And then having to work with ‘im these past few days?”
The man shook himself, scowling. “It’s like swallowin’ glass.”
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up outside of battle.” the other mercenary said, before reaching out and taking Engineer’s hands into their own, causing the Texan to jolt slightly in surprise, “Look, I might joke around sometimes, but I am one hundred percent loyal to BLU and everyone who’s a part of it. That other Engineer might get me once, but you can have me as many times as you like.” 
Chemist winked, and Engineer’s eyes widened like saucers, his mouth turning dry as cotton as any words he might have intended to say died in his throat. The other BLU leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, and Engineer closed his eyes, burning the sensation into his mind as he swallowed.
“And if you’re still worried,” they whispered into his ear, “you can always leave your mark on me.”
“Careful, Darl’,” he growled lowly, wrapping a hand around their waist, enjoying the feeling of muscle and fat, “you don’t know what yer askin’ for.”
“Oh, I think I do.” they grinned ferally, nipping at the Southerner’s neck. Engineer inhaled sharply and let out a curse, tightening his hold when he felt a warm tongue lave the area lovingly.
Suddenly, the contact was gone, Chemist pulling away with a satisfied grin and leaving the poor Texan stunned.
“You can hang onto the hat for now, but I really do need it back.” they tapped his nose, causing him to blink, “Now, we’re all gonna have that little chat at dinner tonight, so don’t be late.”
And with that, they sauntered right back out the door they'd come through earlier, leaving Engie to try and collect himself. Eventually, he managed to shake himself out of his stupor, a grin coming across his face.
“Well, this ought to be mighty interestin’.”
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The conversation at dinner had been, to absolutely no one’s shock, awkward as all hell to begin with.
Once everyone had gotten a plate of food in front of them to stare at when things got too uncomfortable, you started laying out basic ground rules. You stressed, through your many stutters, the importance of boundaries, consent and communication, and you made it very clear that if anyone was at all uncomfortable with what you were proposing, then they were more than welcome to voice that without judgement. You were firm as you warned that if you caught wind of anyone teasing or pressuring another teammate about this was going to lose any and all privileges, as well as getting a face full of acid at any given time. 
“Any objections or questions so far?” you asked, taking a bite of your dinner, which was macaroni and cheese.
“If ve’re really going to to zhis, I vould like to propose regular STD tests und use of condoms.” Medic said after a few moments of silence passed in the room, folding his hands in front of him, “Zhis isn’t exactly a closed relationship ve’re talking about here, und I for one vould feel a lot better vith zhat reassurance, zhough I know jou’re all clean as of right now.”
Everyone made noises of agreement. No one wanted to take that risk.
“Do we have to do stuff with everyone? ‘Cause, uh, I definitely ain’t cool with that.” Scout asked, rubbing his arm in discomfort.
“No, of course not.” you reassured, laying a comforting hand over his. “You’re free to be with whoever you want, and you certainly aren’t going to be forced into a relationship.”
Scout relaxed, some of the tension leaving his body. Around the table, a few others seemed to relax as well.
“We will have to keep zhis a well-kept secret. If zhe Administrator finds out, zhen I suspect we will be punished in some cruel and unusual manner.” Spy added, resting his chin on one hand.
“Yeah, she’s real good at that.” Soldier mumbled, still sore over the fact that he’d be tricked and threatened into breaking off the best friendship he’d ever had, one that still hadn’t recovered.
“So no flirting, or anything else, on the battlefield or during work hours.” you nodded, “We’ll save it for contracts, ceasefires, and late night meet ups, I suppose.”
Sniper raised his hand slightly, swallowing his mouthful of food. “And how exactly are we plannin’ on deciding who gets to do what, and when?”
“Scheduling.” you replied, having pondered that very same question, “We’ll come up with a schedule. You guys can draw straws or wrestle or something. I’ll leave how the order gets decided up to you.”
“Battle’s comin’ up in a few days.” Demo said, taking a sip of his Scrumpy, “How’s about we use our performances to decide?”
“Heavy likes that idea,” the large Russian man nodded, “it means I will be first.”
“Hey, woah, back it up, tons ‘a fun!” Scout protested, jabbing his fork in the other’s direction, “You musta hit yer head or somethin, cause everyone knows I’m gonna be the one comin’ out on top, as usual.”
“You? Do something aside from running your mouth and getting shot full of bullets? Please, don’t make me laugh.” Spy snarked, picking at his dinner while side-eying the Bostonian.
“Don’t get too cocky, Spook. God knows yer gonna end up on the hot end of the enemy Pyro’s flamethrower more often than not.” Sniper teased, “Meanwhile, I’ll be rackin’ up kills left ‘n right.”
“Hey Py, ah’ll share mah time if y’ team up with me.” Engineer offered, smirking when the arsonist mumbled in cheerful agreement, giving the Southerner a fistbump.
“Ooh, ve’re making alliances?” Medic perked up, “Heavy, team up with me, ja?”
“конечно, доктор.” 
“Oye, that ain’t fair!” Demo shouted, banging his fist down on the table, “Soldier, yer with me!”
“Affirmative!” the American saluted, “We are going to crush each and every one of your pansy asses!”
“This is bullshit!” Scout yipped, realizing that his teammates were absolutely willing to partner up if it meant having a better shot at first pick, “Yo, Snipes, we teamin’ up?”
“Bettah you then Spy.” the marksman leaned over the table and shook hands with the runner. “Alright, jackrabbit, let’s do this.”
“Feelin’ left out, Spy?” Engineer asked, reaching for his cup of sweet tea.
“Not at all.” came the Frenchman’s smooth reply, “I am confident enough in my abilities to not feel zhe need to rely on zhe help of another to win. Unlike you, toymaker, I am not willing to share my lovers.”
“Keep a good hold on that confidence ‘a yers.” the Texan chuckled, “You’ll need somethin’ t’ help repair yer shattered pride once you come dead last.”
You took another bite of your macaroni, enjoying the growing sense of… friendly competition. The next battle was going to be a bloodbath, and you absolutely could not wait to see it.
And, of course, you were very excited to see who came out as the victor.
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The sound of gunfire and dying men was like music to your ears as you finally returned to the battlefield. Your limbs ached from the lack of use, and you could certainly feel the strain now, but you welcomed the pain, grinning into your mask as you lobbed another vial at a passing Scout, your smile widening as you snickered at his howls of pain.
Your team was dominating the battlefield today, each member striving to get the most amount of kills. The energy of the battle was even a little bit lighter than usual today, likely due to the fact that the mystery of the Respawn malfunction had finally been solved on the Sunday before the battle.
Apparently, according to Engineer, the issue had been caused by too many units being active at once, which all but confirmed your theory of other teams existing out in the world. It had nothing to do with you specifically, you’d simply been the unlucky bastard who had come through at the boiling point. The information had come as a huge relief, even if the answer had left you with quite a few questions. You would have to ask Miss Pauling about it the next time she came around the base, though you doubted you’d get any real answers. Something told you that, if the other teams had never been mentioned to any of you before, then you weren’t supposed to know about them.
Actually, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut this time. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction wouldn’t be enough to bring you back, if the Administrator decided to disable your Respawn capability.
Shaking your head, you dashed forward, side-stepping the sizzling corpse at your feet. Running across the dry Texas grass, you threw yourself against the side of the nearest building, a smaller, ramshackle barn at the edge of the treeline. From where you stood, you managed to catch a glimpse of Pyro, Soldier, and Engineer taking a new vantage point to set up a sentry, before the arsonist suddenly spun around, blasting a plume of flame at your helmeted friend. You winced, watching as the RED Spy’s illusion melted away, along with his skin.
Well, you supposed you wouldn’t be seeing too much of him today. That was a shame; the Frenchman could be surprisingly funny, when he wanted to be. You’d hoped to get a chance to tease him and see if you could make him blush again, or perhaps some part of you wanted to provide your own Spy with an easy kill.
Just as you started off towards your teammates, ready to help them secure the nearest point, you saw something whip over your head. Before you knew it, your arms were suddenly pinned at your sides, and you’d been tugged backwards, landing on your rump with a sharp yelp of pain. The white cowboy hat that you’d managed to get back from Engineer, which had been sitting snugly on your head, slipped down over your eyes as you were dragged back towards the trees, leaving you blind.
You panicked for a moment, struggling against the tight rope. However, you paused upon hearing a familiar voice, chills running up your spine, both from fear and from pleasure. A gloved hand plucked the hat off your head, the mechanical movement clicking softly in your ear. You tilted your head back, looking up at the man who was holding the lasso that had left you so defenseless.
“Hello there, Darl’.” The RED Engineer purred, leaning against the trunk of one of the apple trees, “Ready to make good on that offer?”
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Annnnd that wraps up Respawn Malfunction! Again, big thanks to @pinkypiechar for reading along with me in the wee hours of the morning, keeping me motivated and catching any mistakes I made. You a real one pookie. <3
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yourspacecutie · 1 month ago
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“Stupid and Stubborn.”
Summary; You had an argument with your lover, and if you knew that this would be the last time you talked, you would’ve apologized.
Contains; Angst; F!Reader; multiple characters in mind; good ending. NOT PROOFREAD. Just wanted to post something before my birthday
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You didn't mean to let it go this far.
You didn't mean for any of this to happen.
And when you look back, you wished you'd just apologized and told him you still loved him.
But you didn't.
Because you're stubborn.
And stubborn women always find out the hard way.
A stupid argument had both of you giving each other the silent treatment for weeks on end.
Nearing the end of one, he’d been given a job that he just couldn’t refuse.
So he left you a quick note and was gone before you realized.
You didn’t worry, you knew he’d be back soon.
Until months passed and there was no word from him.
Not even a sorry excuse for a letter.
The ones where he’d write something like
“Can’t talk, busy. Safe for now. Be home soon.
-love you.”
The same ones you’d bundle up into a ball and throw at the wall in anger, only to un-crumple it and cry. Making the ink smudge.
It scared you to think someone might come to your door with what’s left of his belongings and give you their half hearted condolences.
You didn’t want their apologies, you wanted your husband.
And after almost a year you’d finally get him.
It was mid spring, and you were tending to the garden out front, like you always did.
But then there were footsteps.
Familiar ones.
Turning around quickly and dropping whatever gardening tool you had in your hand, you gasped. Tears welling in your eyes when you saw him standing down the path to your home.
“Been a while, sweetheart.” Is all he would say before he braced himself for your hug.
Running to him at full speed, and tackling him to the ground, smothering him in tears and kisses.
“Woah there! I ain’t going no where! Never again, promise. So slow down!” He’d laugh, resting his forehead against yours as he tried his best to wipe your tears away.
“I thought you were dead, you rotten bastard!” You yelled, giving a weak hit to his chest. “We left off on bad terms and i assumed the worst. I wouldn’t forgive myself if the last words we ever said to each other was fuck you. ___, I missed you so much.”
With a shake of his head he kissed you. Two hands on either side of your face, pulling you down into a passionate and deep kiss. One full of regret and longing.
When the need for oxygen came apparent, the two of you separated, looking into each other’s eyes for a moment, before he said,
“I missed you too. Hell, you’re all I ever thought about out there. But this time, will be better. Different. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I won’t leave you.”
Rdr2; where they go to Tahiti or something I can’t remember; Arthur Morgan; Javier Escuella; Hosea Mathews; Kerien Duffy; Sean McGuire;
Overwatch; Cole Cassidy; Lucio, Reinhardt, Babtist; maybe?
Bleach; Kisuke Urahara; Renji Abari; kenpachi? Shunsui; and idk who else
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eddiazx · 4 months ago
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juno part 2 - evan buckley x reader
part 1 here!
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There are many words in the English language to describe Buck. Loving, stubborn, intelligent, a human form of sunshine, are just a few.
A damn tease, is another description.
After using the handcuffs on him, it was now your turn in the metaphorical hot seat. Your hands were chained to the headboard of the bed, and Buck had spent the past half-hour kissing, licking, and sucking on practically every part of your body, except where you needed him to. You couldn't grab onto his curls with your restrained hands and direct him where you needed him, and no amount of pleading on your part was getting your boyfriend to take mercy on you.
He bites the sensitive part of your inner thigh, and you try to push yourself down and off the bed so that your core was in front of Buck's face. To no avail - Buck leans away from you, smirking.
"What's the rush, sweetheart? We have all day."
"Please, Buck, please. I need you inside me, filling me up like only you can." You babble incoherently, on the brink of delusion.
Buck groans at your words. His weakness was you talking dirty to him, ammo that you pull out at opportune times to get what you want. It works 100% of the time, because Buck finally takes ahold of himself and sinks into you to the hilt.
Your moans harmonize together as Buck starts to move, hips grinding against yours as he rests his face in the crook of your neck, peppering kisses there. Buck trails his fingers down between the tight space between your bodies and circles your clit, and like a dam breaking, you come hard. When he feels you clench around him like a vice, he lets go as well.
Buck reaches over to the nightstand to grab the keys and un-cuffs you.
"You okay?" He murmurs gently, a stark contrast to the cocky guy a few minutes ago, while he rubs on the skin of your wrists where the cuffs had dug in a little too hard.
You smile softly and place an appreciative kiss on Buck's lips.
"More than."
BONUS:
Come to Buck’s place, alone. Don’t tell anyone was your text to Hen. 
Hen is expecting and fearing the worst, because what else is she supposed to do with an ominous message like that? She would’ve called Athena for backup if you hadn’t specified the alone part. 
Hen uses the key Buck and you had given her for emergencies. She doesn’t hear much downstairs, so she gingerly makes her way up the loft stairs towards the open bedroom, calling out both of your names, before she stalls at the top stairs and takes in the sight before her.
Both you and Buck stare back, sheepishly. You’re both naked, in the middle of the bed, each with one hand cuffed to the headboard. Buck lays semi on top of you, trying to cover you up as much as possible, but was displaying his bare butt in doing so.
Hen splutters, not even sure where to start but also wondering what gods she might’ve angered to find herself in the same position twice. 
Resigned, Hen eventually asks for the keys, to which Buck points to foot of the bed, where he had accidentally tossed the keys in the heat of the moment. Hen picks up the keys and moves to un-cuff the two of you, when Buck stops her.
"You can just put them right here, Hen. Thanks."
Hen shakes her head, and leaves the loft. All my friends are freaks, she thinks.
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sansaorgana · 5 months ago
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— BLESSED (II)
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PART ONE || PART THREE
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!half-Elf!Reader
SUMMARY — You find out your husband's true identity when Eregion is under attack. It is hard to tell which one is worse – the betrayal that you feel or witnessing how influenced by his evil your daughter already is.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — I said there would be a second part, so here it is. But as usual, I could not stop writing and... there will be a third part, too! 🤣 Basically, in this part, Sauron is walking inside the rooms rapidly nearly all the time, which is something I realised later while re-reading the fic but I couldn't edit it since it made sense for the plot (and he was doing that a lot in canon, too).
WARNINGS — Reader's father is dead (he was human, so she outlived him), manipulating, gaslighting, lowkey toxic and abusive marriage between the Reader and Annatar Sauron, he gets angry at his daughter once or twice but he is not violent towards her (should not trigger anyone but I wanted to mention it just in case) + he is manipulating his daughter a lot, Celebrimbor has gone mad-mad, Reader being put to sleep against her will, trigger warnings from S02E07 (Sauron murdering the guards etc.)
WORD COUNT — 5,240
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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BLESSED (II)
You were sitting inside your chambers in the evening all alone and embroidering for your daughter. Your only company was a slowly burning candle as you focused on the beautiful gemstones that were appearing thanks to your needle. Almárea had always been interested in the craft of smithery and it was no surprise. Her grandfather had been an excellent smith and so was her father. Uncle Celebrimbor perhaps was not related to her but she had been growing up around him. And, recently, her new favourite thing to do was to spend time with him in the forge, learning everything she could about the craft. She was there at the moment, too.
And where Annatar was, you had no idea. Most likely with them or helping to run the city. Ever since Celebrimbor’s health had been getting worse, your husband was helping you with the administration matters around Eregion, for which you were the most grateful. He did not wish you to overwork yourself.
You heard a booming sound from the distance, which startled you slightly. However, you gave it no second thought. But when the sound began to repeat itself, you stood up and approached the window worryingly. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the fire burning in the distance and you spotted a cannonball coming closer and closer to Eregion.
You could see it all in slow-motion how it hit one of the towers of your city. You let out a scream and covered your mouth with a trembling hand. The very foundations of the tower you were in shook and made you hurry for the doors, desperate to find the ones you loved the most.
But before you could reach them, they opened widely and Annatar stood in them. He was oddly calm but oh, of course he was – an emissary of The Valar would not be ever scared and his calmness would bring nothing but peace in the times of trouble.
“We are under attack,” he announced and you grabbed his sleeve to squeeze the fabric and pull on it, holding onto him like a child. “Stay here.”
“But… Almárea… She’s in the forge with Celebrimbor…” You sobbed and yelped at the sound of another cannonball hitting Eregion.
“Do not be afraid,” Annatar put his arm around you and walked you back to your chair where he was trying to sit you down but you refused.
“Almárea and uncle Celebrimbor… I must go for them…”
“I shall go,” Annatar assured you and finally managed to sit you down by the table. “My love, stay here.”
“Should we not evacuate?” You asked, looking up at him with glistening eyes. Whatever he would say, you would listen, do and follow. You trusted him with your whole life.
“When the right time comes. Until then, stay here, so I do not lose you in the crowd,” Annatar instructed and left your chambers.
You wiped your tears with a shaky hand and felt the ground under your feet shaking once more. A while after his departure, you realised that his request was deeply concerning. Staying inside this tower could mean death to you, after all. There was no guarantee that the next cannonball would not hit your tower.
You moved up once more and ran to the doors but they were locked, which made you furrow your brows. You kept pulling the handle but without any success. Even when you used all of your force, they did not move an inch.
The sounds of cannonballs and people screaming in terror were reaching your ears from afar as your anxiety grew. How could your husband ask you to stay inside in a moment like this – especially with your daughter being far away from you? Your heart could not rest until you were sure that Almárea was safe.
You hurried to the balcony and looked up at the tower next to yours. The fire inside the forge was still on, you noticed. But you kept waiting and waiting for your husband’s return and there was nobody coming.
You were circling around the room nervously, trying to think of a way out. Almárea was all you could think of – your sweet daughter, your purpose in life, your little blessing. You had to be with her, you had to protect her.
And as you nearly broke down in tears of helplessness, you felt another cannonball hitting nearby. The force of that hit was so strong that you fell over, feeling the floor underneath you tilting slightly. When you dared to open your eyes, fearing what you would witness, you realised that half of the tower you were locked inside was in ruins now. Including the wall in front of you, which allowed you to run out without using the locked doors.
You did not think of anything else, leaving all your properties behind as you gathered your skirts and managed to get to the corridor, coughing heavily from all the dust.
The staircase was wobbly and you knew each step could cause you to fall down but you were too determined to overthink that. Step by step, as fast as you could, you ran downstairs and hurried across the courtyard, bumping into other screaming and terrified people, until you reached the doors to Celebrimbor’s forge.
What you witnessed, shocked you dearly. Because despite the siege around you, you spotted your uncle and daughter working on some design cheerfully.
“Almárea!” You called out for her, making them both turn around with widened eyes. “Uncle! What are you doing?!” You hurried to their side and put your arms around your daughter protectively. “Can’t you see and hear what is happening outside?! We must leave, this very moment!”
“What are you talking about, child?” Celebrimbor chuckled at you as if you were the crazy one. His eyes were full of joy but you also spotted a haze in them, a deep fog as if he had lost his mind. Your heart ached for him because his state had been worsening for weeks now.
“Uncle… Please, we must go,” you reached out to hold his wrists but he winced and pushed you away.
“No! I must not stop my work. What are you talking about, (Y/N)? Look at the state of you, you look like a slattern,” he pointed out and his words hurt you deeply. Of course you looked like a slattern. There was a siege happening and you crawled yourself out of the tower’s ruins to get here. “Almárea, your mother must be feverish,” he addressed your daughter.
“Almárea, my darling, we have to go and we have to take uncle with us,” you tried to explain it to her in the simplest way but she took a step back from you as she shook her head and the bow in her head bounced slightly.
“No. Daddy asked me to stay here and watch over uncle Celebrimbor,” she explained.
“Almárea, that is very noble but we are under attack,” you were trying to remain calm despite the noises reaching your ears from the outside. You knew that you had no time to argue. “Whatever your daddy asked you to do, it has no significance now.”
“But he has been here only recently,” she answered and you opened your mouth slightly, surprised. “He told me to keep up my work,” she added, proudly. “Uncle, go back to your craft. Mummy is sick indeed,” she addressed Celebrimbor and he nodded at her before giving you a dirty look and going back to his designs of the Rings.
“Almárea, it is not safe, we must leave. What are you doing to him?” You asked her, unsurely. You were scared to hear the answer as you crouched down to be on her level.
Your sweet, little daughter. Your blessing. Why was there so much malice in her eyes now?
The doors of the forge opened rapidly and you stood up at the sight of Annatar rushing inside. At first, you did not recognise him because his kind and loving face was twisted in anger as his soft eyes reminded you of nothing but black, empty abysses.
“What are you doing here?!” He barked at you. “I saw the cannonball hitting our tower, I rushed there and it was empty. Do you have any idea how worried I was?!” He raised his voice at you but you could not hear any concern in it – only fury.
You swallowed a lump in your throat and put your hands on Almárea’s shoulders.
“It is you who should explain yourself to me,” you tried to sound harshly but it was coming to you with great difficulty. After all, it was your husband, whom you loved and respected greatly. “Why is Almárea here and what is she doing to my uncle? You promised me you would come for them and we would evacuate together,” you pointed out.
“Not until the Rings are finished,” Annatar answered. “Almárea, are you keeping up the good work?” He addressed her softly.
“Yes, daddy,” she nodded her head with a grin and Annatar smiled before approaching Celebrimbor.
“How fares your progress?” He asked him.
“It would be better if your wife was not distracting me. She is feverish, you should take her back to your chambers and put her to bed. Call for a medic if you must,” Celebrimbor mumbled out.
“Is everyone going insane here?! We are under attack!” You exclaimed out of desperation.
“Almárea,” was all your husband said before she nodded and tilted her head
Suddenly, you felt dizzy. You let go of her arms and stumbled, grabbing the edge of Celebrimbor’s desk. You laid your free hand on your forehead and felt how hot the skin was.
“Oh, I… I… I do not feel well,” you whispered.
Annatar hurried to your side and slowly wrapped his arms around yours to help you move away.
“My gentle darling, you have a fever. You must have had a nightmare,” he told you sweetly. “I told you to stay in bed.”
“You… You did?” You asked but your mind was in a haze.
“Please, lay down,” Annatar helped you to get comfortable on a chaise longue in Celebrimbor’s study. He caressed your forehead and you could hear him walk away since your vision was too blurry to see anything. “Almárea, your mummy needs to rest,” you heard him whisper before your eyelids got too heavy to keep them open and you drifted off to the land of dreams.
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You had no idea for how long you had been sleeping. Could be hours and could be days. When you opened your eyes again, you realised with terror that the forge was a mere shadow of its own glory. It was in ruins now and everything was dull, grey and full of dust. You stood up rapidly with your heart pounding inside your chest from the anxiety – Almárea and her safety were all you could think of.
And there she was, sitting boredly on top of Celebrimbor’s desk. They both had clothes and faces dirty from the ashes but he kept working cheerfully as your daughter was looking down at him and swinging her legs.
“Oh, mummy,” she smiled at the sight of you. “I am glad you woke up. I am so bored here and daddy keeps saying I must go on until uncle’s work is finished,” she sighed and jumped down onto the floor.
“What… What are you doing? What are you doing exactly?” You asked her, carefully. Your head was still heavy from the sleep induced upon you and your memories of what had happened were foggy.
“Daddy says uncle Celebrimbor must finish the Rings for men but he would be scared of what is going on outside, so while daddy helps to run Eregion, I am here, making sure uncle Celebrimbor has no idea about anything,” she revealed and you gasped.
At that moment, the doors opened and Annatar walked inside. His skin and robes were not dirty at all as if he was above the siege. For the first time in your life, you were scared at the sight of him as you swallowed thickly, so deeply confused.
“The Rings. Are they finished?” He asked and closed the doors behind him. Then, he spotted you being awake and turned around slowly with a puzzled expression. “Almárea, why is your mother awake?”
“I was bored, daddy,” Almárea whined and you watched Annatar’s face muscles twitching as he clenched his jaw and gave your daughter a look so scolding that she approached you to seek safety.
“She is only a child, what do you expect?” You asked him. “You have burdened her with a task that is too heavy for her. It would be too heavy for anyone. The measures you are taking to finish the creation are unholy,” you took a deep breath in and moved a little closer to your uncle with Almárea still clinging to you. You were trying to shield poor Celebrimbor from your husband. “Make it stop. Let us flee.”
Celebrimbor looked up at you, his eyes so full of fog and mist that it made you shed a tear of compassion as he smiled adoringly at you with nothing but pure joy. He had completely lost his mind now.
“No emissary of The Valar would do this,” you turned your face around to lay your eyes on your husband again as more tears streamed down your cheeks. He looked both – hurt to be accused and angry to be caught at the same time. The most confusing reaction you could expect. “My husband would not do this,” you added, nearly inaudibly.
At that, he snorted. And you only sobbed some more.
“Free my uncle’s mind, I beg of you,” you shook your head.
“He is not under my control,” Annatar smirked and looked down to meet your daughter’s gaze. He nodded and she squeezed her eyes tightly as she focused on something. When her eyes opened again, you looked back at your uncle but he remained working. “Her powers are too strong. He might be forever broken now,” Annatar pointed out with a glimpse of… pride. “Come to me, my child,” he opened his arms and Almárea tried to move but you tightened your grip around her.
“No. You will not go near that man ever again,” you said to her, harshly. Each word caused a pain, like a knife cutting your heart into pieces.
You loved Annatar but you had to protect your daughter from him because the man in front of you was… Was simply not the man you had married. Perhaps the burden of the Valar was too heavy for him. The task they had given to him had driven him and your uncle to madness.
Perhaps it was all your fault – by choosing to stay with you as your husband, he had to choose this form and stay in it, losing some of his godly powers. And his new flesh was simply too weak to handle all the power he had been blessed with by the gods.
His empty eyes glanced at you with so much hatred and fury that you felt smaller than a mouse at the moment.
“I am her father,” he reminded you, coldly. “Almárea, come here,” he ordered.
And you were simply too weak to fight it. Your limbs rebelled against your will as you felt your daughter leaving your grasp and running up to her father. You could only watch as your whole life was crumbling down just like Eregion around it.
“You are her father. But you are not my husband,” you said. “Who are you… truly?”
“I am the one keeping the storm at bay,” he answered, putting his hands on Almárea’s shoulders as she kept looking up at him with admiration. “Balancing the very sun above your head. All to heal Middle-earth and give your weak and pathetic uncle one chance to prove his worth. I want the Nine!” He yelled, making you flinch.
Celebrimbor did not, however. He only looked up at the mention of his name and smiled kindly at the monster you had to call your husband.
“I am working, my friend,” he assured him before going back to work.
You moved slightly to cover him from Annatar’s stare. But you were not sure if Annatar was truly his name.
To heal Middle-earth. You knew that story. You knew who had been the man with such a dream. Annatar had been mentioning it before but never in this way. But now it all made sense. It all made a terrible sense and you had been nothing but a blind fool. It should had alarmed you the very first time Annatar had used this phrase. But the tone of his voice had been sweet then; concerned. Now, he had revealed his true intentions.
“You are He,” you realised out loud with a trembling voice. In fact, your whole body was trembling. The waves of aftershocks coming over your body after finding out such a dreadful thing about the person with whom you had shared your chambers, your bed, your body, your heart and your soul… Your bloodline. “You are Sauron,” the name rolled off of your tongue like something filthy and dirty – the most disgusting. The Abhorred.
All those I love yous you had whispered to him, all those nights you had spent on whimpering his name lost in pleasure, all those breakfasts you had served him, all those hours spent on brushing his hair with your fingers and peppering his face with tiny kisses. All this time you had been doing nothing but pampering the monster. And all this time you had been living in an illusion – not much better than the one your uncle was living in at the moment.
“I have many names,” Annatar smirked at your question as if it was bringing him satisfaction that his silly and naive wife had finally realised the dreadful truth.
“But you are my daddy,” Almárea tugged on his robe, waiting for confirmation.
“For all eternity, my darling one,” he caressed her hair lovingly and an empty hole in your chest grew and grew as it began to sink into your heart.
You had married Annatar but you had a child with Sauron.
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You were sitting on the floor, with your back pressed to the wall and your knees brought all the way up to be able to rest your head on them. You had no chains but you did not have to. Annatar – or rather Sauron – knew very well that you would not leave Celebrimbor’s forge as long as Almárea was inside.
So, you just kept sitting there and staring at her as she was standing above your uncle and watching carefully as he crafted the Rings. She was studying him and you smiled sadly at that because under different circumstances it would be lovely to watch her learning from Celebrimbor.
His mind was far too gone to know anything happening around him. The only thing he could focus on was forging the Rings as you kept overthinking your whole marriage.
All those little things you had been ignoring about Annatar until now – all those excuses you had been making up for him. Gods, you were such a fool. And you loved your daughter more than anything but you could not help a feeling that your womb had borne a seed of Middle-earth’s demise.
Why had Annatar chosen you? Now it all made sense – you were the most useful in his schemes. You were close to the man he had wanted wrapped around his finger. And you were half-human, which could push Celebrimbor into agreeing to craft such powerful items even for the kin considered to be weak and unworthy by many Elves.
You sobbed silently. Was it possible that this was the only kind of love you could ever count on? This twisted illusion, this mockery? You had been nothing but kind and gentle to him, giving him everything you had and more. And all you had ever wanted in return was to be loved back. To have a family.
“You are done now! Daddy will be so proud, uncle!” Almárea clapped her hands and it made you look up. She kissed Celebrimbor’s cheek and he smiled at her, watching her put the rings inside a pouch.
“Almárea,” you called out for her and she laid her eyes on you. “Give them to me,” you ordered.
“But daddy–” She started, unsurely.
“I just want to see,” you extended your hand and she walked up to you, hesitantly. She handed you the pouch and you grabbed it from her. “Mummy!” She whined.
“Undo what you have done to uncle Celebrimbor’s mind. Right now,” your voice was harsh but not too much because she was still your daughter and you could never hurt or abandon her even if the darkness was the path she would descend into.
She was still a child, though. And she was half you – there was the same amount of light inside of her as of darkness.
“I can only try,” Almárea told you and you nodded at her, encouragingly. 
You held her hands to help her and she squeezed them, closing her eyes and tilting her head as she furrowed her brows, causing a small wrinkle to appear on her smooth forehead.
When she was done, you knew that it had thankfully worked. Because Celebrimbor yelped out of fear as you kissed the top of your daughter’s head and ran up to him immediately.
“Uncle… Uncle, calm down, please, shh, you are alright now,” you put your hands on his arms and his scared eyes found yours with relief.
“Oh, my darling (Y/N), I have been in such a haze… He… He made me…” Celebrimbor tried to find the right words.
“I know, I am so sorry…” You whispered, your voice full of pain and regret.
“No. It is me who is sorry, my sweet child. I have given you to him so easily, so freely,” he caressed your face with his trembling hands.
“And I am glad that you did,” you sobbed and he furrowed his brows. “And I cannot ever say that I regret it for he has given me my daughter,” you confessed.
“He might never get The Nine,” Celebrimbor changed the subject and you nodded, agreeing with him as you sniffed your tears back. You handed him the pouch with the Rings and glanced upon the doors.
“Go,” you pressed your forehead to his. “Take them away from him,” you whispered. “As far away as you can. Quick, we do not have much time. Use the opportunity that he still thinks you are under Almárea’s control.”
Your uncle nodded at you sadly. He kissed your forehead and squeezed the pouch inside his hand before looking at your daughter with a sigh. There was no hatred in his eyes but a glimpse of sadness, disappointment and fear mixed altogether. 
You watched him leave and Almárea reached her hand out after him but you stopped her.
“Daddy will get angry,” she looked up at you, surprised to witness what you had just done.
“Believe me, it is for the better,” you told her and held her hand. “We must leave now, too.”
“No,” she stood still and shook her head. “Not without daddy.”
“Almárea, we must go. We must leave, far away from here. We must go to your grandmother in Mithlond,” you tried to lure her in by the mention of your mother.
But she had seen her once in her life and the meeting had been brief. They shared no bond, therefore Almárea was not easily convinced.
“Not without daddy,” she repeated.
“Almárea, I beg of you…” Your eyes filled with tears again. You knew Sauron would be back any moment to check on Celebrimbor’s progress and you did not want to be there when he would see that your uncle was gone with The Rings.
But what you did not want even more was to abandon your daughter.
So, you stayed with her and waited. You did not even know what you were waiting for – was it your death? Would he get rid of you now when you were not useful to him anymore and after you had betrayed him in such a way; convincing your daughter to release Celebrimbor from her control and letting him flee?
You would find out very soon because the doors of the forge opened and there he was, walking confidently inside with a smirk upon his face.
“Daddy, I am so sorry!” Almárea cried out immediately and ran up to him while you looked away, wincing from the ache you felt in your heart. Your eyes filled tears at her words. You only hoped he would not lash out at her. “I trusted mummy and she tricked me! She gave The Rings back to uncle Celebrimbor and let him go!” Almárea explained and cried.
Long silence occurred and even though you were not looking in their direction, you could feel the atmosphere changing in an instant. Thickening.
“Mummy is a twisted, treacherous little witch, so it seems,” Sauron drawled out and you turned your head around to lay your angry eyes upon him with tears streaming down your cheeks.
“How dare you!” You snapped. Who was he to call you twisted or treacherous? “I swore no loyalty to you, shadow of Morgoth!”
“Yes, you have!” He yelled at you and Almárea flinched, taking a step back. He walked past her to approach you angrily but you could not move away because there was a wall behind you. “You bound yourself to me on the day of our wedding!” Sauron pushed you, causing your back to hit the wall. “Where is he?! Where are The Rings?!”
“Daddy, we do not know!” Almárea ran up to you two and tugged on his robe. You avoided her gaze because you did not want her to see the fear and pain in your eyes. It would only scare her more. “Daddy, it is not mummy’s fault that she is weak. You told me that yourself!”
Sauron’s face was so close to yours that your noses nearly brushed against each other. His breath was heavy and hot, full of anger. You remained cold and still with tears streaming down your cheeks. And even though you did not recognise your husband and his eyes were dark and empty now, you dared to reach out to his cheeks gently. You cupped his face delicately, which caused his brows to furrow and his eyes to widen slightly out of surprise.
“Annatar,” you whispered softly. “Annatar, my love, come back to me. You bound yourself to me, too, dark spirit. Obey me. Release me,” you pleaded, desperately, feeling as if you were losing your sanity.
There was pure confusion on Sauron’s face at that moment. He took a step back, away from you and away from your hands but as they were falling down, you tried to extend them further and reach him once more.
“You are pathetic,” he pointed out, coldly. “I shall find those Rings sooner or later. The only thing you did was to slow me down but you will never stop me.”
“Let it be then… Whatever I can do, I shall,” you whispered.
He opened his mouth to say something but you were interrupted by a group of people walking inside the forge. It was Celebrimbor with a few guards. For one, foolish moment, you sighed with relief, expecting rescue.
He nodded at you softly to let you know that The Rings were safe and far away from your husband. You reached your hands out to grab Almárea and pull her closer to you. She let you and wrapped her arms around you to comfort you after her father’s anger.
“Where are The Rings?!” Sauron abandoned your side to walk down the stairs from Celebrimbor’s study into the ruins of the forge.
“Far from your reach by now,” your uncle answered.
“Then you are going to bring them to me and place them in my hand,” Sauron said, trying to remain calm. 
“Your hand will never touch another Ring again,” Celebrimbor assured him.
You moved closer to the railing with Almárea still clinging to you, so you both could see better whatever was happening downstairs.
The Commander of the City Guard ordered the rest to arrest your husband. Almárea sobbed and hid her face in the fabric of your gown as you caressed her back, soothingly.
You watched the soldiers stand in a circle around Sauron and point their swords at him. You put your hand on the back of your daughter’s head, making sure to press her face a bit deeper into your gown to avoid her seeing any glimpse of the scene underneath you by accident.
“By order of the true Lord of Eregion, you, Sauron, are hereby–” the Commander began before freezing.
In fact, they all froze. They all froze and trembled, whimpering slightly because they had absolutely no idea what was happening to them.
“You think it was only you and your weak fosterling who put themselves in my power?” Sauron asked with contempt as he addressed your uncle.
He raised his hands slightly and all the soldiers surrounding him killed one another instead of him. You watched in terror as their blades cut through their bodies and then they fell down, lifeless, onto the ground.
Almárea sobbed and yelped, managing to get out of your grasp due to your moment of weakness.
“Daddy!” She cried out for him. She was scared that the sound she had heard was of their blades cutting through him.
But it was not. And you watched her run down the stairs and ignore the lifeless bodies, as if they meant nothing to her, only to cling to Sauron’s waist. He wrapped one of his hands around her to pull her closer as he raised an eyebrow at Celebrimbor in a challenging manner.
The Commander tried to approach your husband carefully, extending his sword.
“Do not hurt the child,” your uncle ordered but there was no need.
Sauron did what you had done a while earlier and pressed Almárea’s face deeper into his robe as she was clinging to him. And when there was a guarantee she could not see anything, he twisted the wrist of his free hand and the Commander froze before turning the blade around and killing himself with it.
Only when his body hit the floor, Sauron let go of your daughter and allowed her to move. She looked up at him as if she was waiting for an order or a task to be given.
“You shall take control over him again and tell me where The Nine are,” your husband said.
“Almárea, no!” You screamed from the top of the stairs. “Almárea, please!”
“Are you sleepy again, my love?” Sauron looked up to ask you with irony.
You chose to be silent. To be put to sleep for gods know how long, to lose control of your own body and to be unaware of your surroundings was not what you wanted to happen once again.
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MASTERLIST
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deadhands69 · 2 months ago
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Hitching a Ride there's only one bed?
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Tomura Shigaraki x Reader  Dabi/Touya Todoroki x Reader [separately]
Choose your own adventure with Shig//Dabi routes. Lightly suggestive, but no smut.
previous - this is part 3 - next [series masterlist]
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As you walk through the parking lot to the door of the motel, you realize you’re about to spend the night alone with a man who you met jumping into a stolen van less than 48 hours ago. On its face, this should be a red flag but, thus far, it hasn’t felt like it. If anything, he looks more nervous about being in a room alone with you than you are. 
You slide the keycard four times before the light flashes green and beeps. Shoving open the door, you flick on the lights and -
“There’s only one bed?”
Tomura Shigaraki ᝰ⛐ 
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“At least I only have to share with you,” Shigaraki shrugs, “the last hotel stop there were three of us in each bed and Twice kicks in his sleep.”
You laugh, feeling a bit less nervous about the situation. Your laughter also hides the grumbling you feel in your stomach. You wish there was room service, or even a restaurant close. The lackluster dinner you had did nothing to stave off your hunger. As if he could read your mind, Shigaraki walks to the door.
“I think I saw a vending machine earlier, I was about to head over there. Want me to get you anything?” he asks.
“I’ll go with you!” you exclaim, a little more excited than you intended to sound. “I need to move my legs a bit after sitting all day anyways.”
The two of you wander back into the dimly lit parking lot and around the building. Snack and drink vending machines glow side by side like an oasis in the desert. 
“Watch,” he says, hitting the machine with his hip at just the right angle to make a drink fall out. He repeats it again, and another drops. You try the same on the snack one to no avail. Everything seems to be tucked solidly between the metal coils. Without thinking, you pull a semi-large bill from your pocket and shove it in the machine.
“Pick whatever you want,” you say to him, stepping aside. 
“You don’t have to pay for everything,” he mumbles, hitting C6 to send a bag of chips plummeting to the bottom. 
“Yeah, but I want to. You’re the only reason I’m not-” in prison right now, you think. “I definitely owe you. For the ride.”
“It’s fine,” he mutters as the two of you alternate picking more snacks until you each have an armful.
After dropping some gummy candies while you try to get the keycard to work, you’re back in your room dumping your haul on the motel comforter. 
He gives you the first turn for the shower. Dragging your bag in there, you open it to find not much that will be helpful in this situation. You try to clean up the best you can, but at the end of it all, you’re still putting your dirty clothes back on. After looking in the mirror for the first time in months, you decide this is the best it’s going to be and walk back out.
“You’re carrying around a giant bag of money, but no clothes?” Shigaraki asks.
“Wait, how do you know-”
“We picked you up by a bank robbery and you’ve been paying for everything, I put two and two together.” He doesn’t seem phased by this, barely bothering to look away from the motel info sheet he’s reading his way through. “You can’t sleep in that. If you want, you can borrow one of my shirts.”
You nod, thank him. He throws you a shirt from his backpack before heading to take a shower. With the time he’s in there, you fiddle with the remote. Trying to find something worth watching but it’s three cable tv channels and static.
Not ten minutes later, he comes back out in a t-shirt and underwear. You try to keep your eyes glued to the tv, but fail miserably. He’s very attractive, you decide. Every bit of fabric hugging in exactly the right places. Through the corner of your eye, you catch a slew of scars over his legs. Some are scratches, others look like bullet wounds. No wonder he didn’t bat an eye at sharing the room with a bank robber.
“What,” he muses, climbing under the covers by your side. “Still going to sleep in pants?”
Admittedly, you wanted to be comfortable but weren’t sure if you’d make him feel weird by sleeping in your underwear. But if he is… You slide your pants off under the covers, feeling relieved already.
“I’m not a perv,” he asserts, while flipping through the channels and finding nothing you didn’t already skip. “I won’t touch you or anything.”
Before you can stop yourself you find your mouth mumbling, “but what if I want you to.”
He laughs and before turning off the light you notice his face has darkened a few shades of pink.
Ten minutes later he asks, “wait, were you serious?”
After that, you end up talking for half the night while watching infomercials. While you couldn't quite place when it happened, by the time you're falling asleep both of your legs are tangled up together under the covers.
[scroll to continue the story] 
Dabi/Touya Todoroki ᝰ⛐
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“It’s fine,” Dabi mumbles, “still more space than sleeping in that van.”
“Yeah,” you remember how you woke up with his arm around you this morning and hope that’s his default sleeping position.
“We’ve been crammed in that thing all day though, I’ll give you space.”
You think to yourself how unnecessary that is, but appreciate the gesture. Unpacking what you do have, you bring your toiletries into the bathroom to brush your teeth. When you come back out, Dabi's wandered off somewhere already.
Not up for much but still not tired enough to go to bed yet, you look at the hotel info sheet to see what’s around here. There is a pool and hot tub on the other side of the building, with seemingly no hours. You strip down to your underwear, everything covers as much as a swimsuit would which is close enough for you. Grabbing a towel and your keycard, you head out the door.
Arriving at the pool, you see you’re not the only one there. Dabi is already sitting in the hot tub, staring up at the stars. 
The area is dimly lit, a humming light above casting a warm tint over everything, but at least the water looks well-maintained. You unhook the metal gate fencing the area in, drop your towel on a broken plastic lounge chair, and climb in. The bubbles tickle your legs as you sink into a spot across from him. He flashes you a smile in acknowledgement but stays quiet.
Looking up at the clear night sky, it really is beautiful. You get lost in it until the jets slow to a stop.
“I’ve got it,” he says, already half out of the water by the time you look up.
He’s in his underwear as well, the wet cotton clinging to his body as he walks to the control panel. You try not to notice the way the thin fabric gives you a view of everything. Water drips down his back, over the scars which you now know cover most of his body. The bubbles resume and you promptly look up, pretending to have been staring at the sky the whole time. 
When he gets back, he mentions how nice of a night it is and how beautiful it’s been getting out of the city. Small talk turns to more, and before you know it at least an hour has passed, your skin is pruney, and you’re laughing hysterically. Shigaraki Someone yells out of one of the windows at you to be quiet. Glancing at each other, you laugh even harder while grabbing your towels and heading back inside.
You let him take the first shower, knowing it’ll take you a while to scrub the chlorine off your skin. When he comes back out, he’s wearing nothing but his underwear again. Knowing he’ll be sleeping next to you in that hits differently than sitting with him in a hot tub.
“What,” he taunts, walking past you to climb into bed, “nothing you haven’t already seen.”
You hoped he hadn’t noticed you checking him out earlier, but based on the look on his face he doesn’t seem to mind. He makes himself comfortable while you take your turn washing off.
One issue.
The small hair dryer attached to the wall does a slow job of drying your underwear, leaving small damp patches all over the fabric. At some point, you decide it’s good enough and pull them back on along with the shirt you’ve been wearing all week. 
Dabi laughs, “I take it there aren’t clothes in the bag.”
“That is correct,” you walk past him, shoving the massive sack under your side of the bed. “But something tells me you already knew that.”
“I had a suspicion,” he smiles and the world melts around you. “Grab one of my shirts to sleep in, you don’t have to dress like a bank robber 24/7.”
Your jaw drops at the bluntness, but he’s not wrong. You go back into the bathroom, changing into the shirt he let you borrow. When you come back out, the lights are off and he appears to be drifting off to sleep. You climb in next to him.
His arms wrap around you and this time you think it’s on purpose.
⛙ Continued ⛙
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According to the alarm clock by the bed, 9:14. Checkout is at 10.
Begrudgingly, you extricate your entwined limbs from his to let him get a few more minutes of sleep. He looks so peaceful and you’d hate to interrupt it. You throw your pants on to see what a free continental breakfast looks like in a place that doesn’t even have wifi. 
Making your way through the parking lot, you think back on the conversations you had last night. Life wasn’t necessarily easy prior to this, there’s a reason you’re on the run with nothing but a stolen bag of money and the clothes on your back. He could have pried more when you declined to talk about it, but he didn’t and you’re grateful for that. Honestly, being on the run with the group has been an amazing break from life, feeling more like a vacation than anything else. 
That’s partially why you offered to share some of the money (that and the fact that you involuntarily made them all accomplices when they picked you up so you felt like you at least owe them some portion of it.) When you brought it up last night, you could tell he wanted to say no but knows that everyone needs it.
The breakfast is exactly what you expected, but at least it’s a meal. You throw a few pale orange slices on a plate with a pastry and whatever else looks edible. Sitting next to Compress and Magne, you begin eating as everyone else slowly trickles in. There’s an occasional knowing glance at you wearing his shirt, but no one says anything until Toga shows up.
“Ooooooooohh,” she starts before Magne kicks her leg under the table.
After everyone eats their fill (and fills their pockets,) you quickly pack up, and you’re all back on the road again.
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next - series masterlist - bnha masterlist
taglist: @kitkat13001 @bitchyfestivalbouquet @shigarakislaughter @idkidk32
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emotionalsupport-ljh · 7 months ago
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Crushing!Jihoon
Fluff - Woozi x gn!reader
I have a crush on that boy, but what if he had a crush? 🤔
Word Count: 1k
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────୨ৎ──── ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
Jihoon cannot look you in the eyes. He usually is good about eye contact because he is very polite, but if he catches your eyes, he will quickly avert his gaze anywhere else. He still likes to talk to you, but he gets overwhelmed and lost in his thoughts if he’s looking straight into your eyes. Sometimes, he tries to look at your nose, so it will at least seem like he’s looking at you, but he still finds it too cute when you wrinkle it to laugh, so he ends up looking away anyway.
Jihoon rambles. A simple “Hello” will turn into him oversharing about his weekend, favorite show, or work. He cannot stop and your patient smile only encourages him to keep going. He eventually will realize and let a sentence trail off as his face turns red. He only stops being embarrassed when you reply with the same energy. You both end up yapping as much as possible, going from topic to topic almost randomly. Anyone listening in on the conversation would get lost because it’s like you have your own language together.
Jihoon can’t flirt. At all. It doesn’t come naturally to him. If he tries to be cute, he just gets embarrassed. He’s also afraid of being seen as a creep. You lightly flirt with him and he doesn’t notice. If you turn it up a little, he either misinterprets it or gets really awkward. He claims to be a direct person or the type to just be straight-forward and tell you, but, in reality, he will take his secret crush to the grave.
Literally everyone notices when Jihoon is crushing. He doesn’t realize how obvious he is when every other topic of conversation is you or what you like or what’s going on in your life. The other members joke about it quietly, but they make sure he doesn’t know or else it would end their favorite entertainment. They find it super fun to watch him get flustered around you then turn around like nothing happened. They even try to get him closer to you or leave you two alone together, just to eavesdrop or peek into the room to witness him freak out a little.
Jihoon writes a ton of love songs. They probably won’t see the light of day and some of them are just sentences in his notes app, but every beautiful melody he thinks of is inspired by you in some way (and some of the horny ones too). Fans would say that these types of songs were written with a pink glitter gel pen which is only true in vibes. He isn’t kicking his feet and writing in twirly handwriting, but his heart is whether he likes it or not.
Jihoon pretends to be nonchalant but remembers super specific things about you. Like, he’ll hand you your favorite obscure candy from your childhood that you told him about one time four months ago, and say something like “don’t make a big deal out of it” or “i just saw this and remembered”. In reality, it took him forever to find it and he wasn’t even sure if it was discontinued or not. He was about to look up a recipe for it to make it from scratch, but he found it, ordered it, then waited like a kid on Christmas for the package to arrive. He gives maximum effort for small details and pretends like it’s nothing.
It’s a lot easier to get Jihoon to open up than you think. He claims that he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his emotions when they are heavy, and he doesn’t always want to share his feelings so outwardly, but if you ask him like twice, he’ll tell you all about it. You can visibly see his shoulders un-tense when he tells you about his struggles. He trusts you and can’t keep anything from you. He’s also just bad at lying, so you can tell something is up with him almost immediately.
Jihoon doesn’t like physical touch BUT ONLY when he isn’t expecting it. He has to initiate the touching for it to be okay. You once tried to place your hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off instinctively. Later, he held onto your arm absent-mindedly. You learn to give him his space and wait for him to start anything physical. Once he does, you can reciprocate easily. He likes to put his arm behind you while sitting on the couch. You lean into him and he doesn’t flinch or move or anything. He touches you more often than anyone else which makes his crush on you so painfully obvious.
Jihoon has a Libra Venus in his astrology chart. From the moment he realized he liked you, he immediately envisioned your entire future together complete with four versions of a wedding, a life with kids, a life without kids, what your cat’s names would be, and every time he could tell the world that a song was dedicated to you. He thinks about different ways he could ask you on a date like he’s Doctor Strange looking into possible realities. It was easy for him to get a crush on you, and he can’t help but imagine it when he closes his eyes.
Jihoon is oblivious. You obviously like him and everyone can see it except for him. You always smile when he talks or laugh at his stupid jokes. You’re always caught up on his favorite anime (which you enjoy as well) just so that when he finally does watch them, you are ready to talk about it at a moment’s notice. You call him every night to make sure he’s wrapping up at work, and you offer to buy him food if he hasn’t eaten. You are one of the only reasons he takes a day off or goes outside to have fun when he’s not working. You’re always ready with a plan to hang out together. You want to be with him all the time. You stick to him like glue. And he just thinks that you're his really good friend. He can’t imagine that his crush likes him right back.
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moodymisty · 9 months ago
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[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]
Based off of this post where we all collectively lost our minds. You guys gotta stop distracting me I'm trying to finish editing the Sicarius bully ch2 lol
Relationships: Issak (Night Lord OC)/Fem!Reader (only because the word she is used twice)
Warnings: Blood, Tattoos, Kind of slavery??, loss of bodily autonomy, Night Lords content
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The tattoo no longer aches, thankfully.
When it had been done your shoulderblades ached down muscle deep, from your body tensing and the vibration of needle after needle after needle. But now the skin is entirely healed, and it can be touched without pain.
Isaak pushes the fabric covering your new tattoo away, revealing it to him. It also reveals a wealth of bruises, marring your shoulders and arms. You Wrap your arms around your chest, but he's too interested in your back to care about the fact that your robes have fallen to your waist.
"And who did all this?"
He says, referring to your wounds. You watch and feel his scarred, pale hands trail along your shoulderblades.
You had known something was wrong when the armouring room was cast in a veil of silence, and you'd looked around with wide eyes.
The sound of the door's lock had triggered a most primal sense of fight or flight the moment it went off, and your heart slammed against your chest like it was trying to free itself. But by the time you even managed to move your feet you saw that three Night Lords were already inside with you, prowling like beasts having just found new prey.
One came closer and grabbed you tight, your clothing sliding off your shoulder just enough to reveal the very top of the left wing of your tattoo. He yanked you closer, ignoring your yelp of pain as he threatened to dislocate your arm. The other two lingered, and had watched while letting the one grabbing you make the first move.
"What's this?"
He says, shortly before he ripped the fabric and revealed more of your tattoo. He leaned in closer, seeing the intricate wings spawning from a fanged skull. The other two Night Lords looked to the one grabbing you, as he lost his grin. He pushed you away, snarling and letting out a puff of air from his scarred lips.
"...Fuck, she's marked. And I know who she belongs to."
You could feel the pain of growing bruises on your skin, holding your arms close to your chest as you watched them.
The three of them could smell the Night Lord blood embedded, mixed in the ink of your tattoo, and decided the fight wasn't worth it. You watched the three of them wander off in search of another serf, unclaimed, and you hope for the sake of the others on board they come up empty. Though you doubted they would.
As despite the fear of attaching yourself to a Night Lord, as mercurial and twisted as they may be, it grants a safety aboard the ship that many are desperate for.
You had begged Issak for it, with tears in your eyes.
You have done work for him dutifully for months but you could only evade becoming victim to another Night Lord in search of a toy to play with for so long. To be marked and claimed would be the safest you could be aboard the ship.
"I know that I step out of line to beg an astartes, but I promise to do whatever you ask of me without fail. Just please, I beg you save me from them..."
Issak had no personal serfs, hence why you had thought it a fruitless effort to beg him to mix his blood with ink. But you could think of no others that you could ask, not ones that were as merciful as Issak has been to you.
But he did, and you thanked him profusely for the safety it gave you. He always gleamed whenever you said it.
"I don't know who they were," You said, replying to his question. "There were three, they cornered me in the armouring room. They were scared off when they saw the tattoo." He hums, feeling you shake under his grip.
"If I didn't have it, I... Thank you,"
You don't want to imagine what would've happened had the three of them saw you were an available, unowned serf. One that no one would know disappeared. Issak laughs at you, his chest rumbling against your shoulders.
"You're shaking like a little animal. You'll be fine; They know that if they take you, I'll rip them apart."
You nod, and nod again and again, silently reassuring yourself and thanking him. You've had so many close calls, but now you have a place to retreat.
But even if you have a rabbit hole to hide in, it came at a cost. His blood runs through the ink of your tattoo, and you'll never be rid of him. You are safer, but it came at the cost of your dignity and your freedom. What little you had. Whatever he asks of you is now your duty to give to him, no matter what. That was the cost of your tattoo.
Issak picks you up, roughly carrying you in his arms.
"If you tell me what they looked like, I can bring you a trophy. Would that make you quit the crying?"
You look at him in shock, rubbing your eyes; You know Night Lords will look for any excuse to start a fight, but his casual gusto to kill a fellow of his legion is surprising. He sighs.
"Fine. You baselines are always so difficult."
He throws you onto his cot, your robes halfway off your shoulders revealing your collarbone, and you watch the scarred visage of a Night Lord consume your entire vision.
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babygirl-riley · 1 year ago
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Hii could you do one with ghost seeing his newborn and he came with guest like John, price, gaz for tea and the reader heard her baby start to cry and she goes to breast feed her baby upstairs for privacy and downstairs they all tell ghost how far he’s come in life and how proud they are of him and like they got gifts for the baby. If that’s okay with you!
Tea Time
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Ghost brings guests over to meet his newborn baby
A/N: Omg this really warms my heart they would be so happy for him. Especially Price! Like lord watching his masked son have a child of his own 😭 Also sorry about the late story post school has been beating my asssss
Warnings: fluff, talks about baby, pure happiness, husband!simon, dad!simon
simon x reader guide
simon x reader family
It was at first an awkward silence all four of them sitting in a living room. Simon decided to bring his military family over to meet his newborn. Simon wasn’t able to be there when you gave birth. Missed it by two months since the baby was born, due to a mission going sideways. When he called to inform you that he was coming home, you naturally were excited.
While Simon was packing up to get going, Price followed him out. “Once the both of you are settled love to meet the little bugga.”
Simon chuckled. “Of course Cap.”
Simon called you again, it only rung twice before you picked it up. “On your way?” Your voice sounded tired yet perked up at the end.
“Yes ma’am, j’st leavin’,” He paused before clearing his throat. “Price mentioned comin’ and meeting the baby.”
“Okay,” You said calming waiting to see if he would say anything else before softly chuckling. “They coming today?”
Simon tapped his fingers on the wheel. “Didn’ say yes to today, you wantin’ to?”
“I wouldn’t mind, haven’t had company over for a while. Unless you don’t want it?” You said, he could hear the smile in your voice. Both of you didn’t want anyone over at the end of your pregnancy worried about everything and then some. Didn’t want to get you sick in case of something would happen to the baby.
Simon went silent before nodding like you could see him. “I don’t mind.”
Before getting the call ahead for the boys to come, you have Simon time to hold his baby girl. At first he was hesitant looking at the small thing that bundled into the pink blanket. “She won’t break.” You smiled softly, holding a hand to his bicep.
“She is small.” He whispered watching her make faces as she slept.
You lifted your arm and started to guide his, forming his arms to be ready to hold her. You could see the small panic in his eyes as you started to place her. Guiding him how to hold her head. She moved basically looking like she was settling herself into his arms. He went stiff before looking at you as he smiled a bit. “She’s beautiful baby.”
“We did good baby.” You said getting on your tippy toes as he leaned down kissing each other’s lips.
It was a couple of hours before he called Price and the boys to come and meet mini Riley. Without hesitation they all said yes and barreled their way down to the Riley home.
Now here they are, sitting around the living room. Gaz looked around the room noting some pictures of you and him on the wall. Some with his mask some not. Soap tapped his boots on the floor and Price drank the tea you made. Simon waited near the stairs as you started down them. All of them perked up like puppies on a park.
You showed off the baby to the boys. They held her one by one, watching her move around and fall asleep to smiling in her sleep. Price chuckled as she gripped his finger and played with her hand. Gaz held her as everyone talked around about the baby and how many pounds she weighted. Then it was Soap.
“She is beautiful,” Soap said holding her softly, she was laying on his forearms as he held her head with his hands. Soap leaning on his legs as he stared down at her. “Bet she gets it from ya huh lass?”
You chuckled as Simon glared at Soap, you could tell underneath his mask that he was smirking. “Kind of glad she don’ have my nose.” Simon mumbled agreeing with him.
Soap chuckled as he looked back at the baby. That’s when she let out a fuss before she cried. At first Soap was shocked and looked at you and Simon. You looked over at the clock as Simon grabbed her. “Don’t worry Soap you probably just stink,” You joked walking to Simon as you reached for her. “No but I have to go feed her.”
Simon nodded as you turned around. “Want any help?”
“Oh no she has it all handled Si.” You said smirking before winking and left upstairs.
Simon stood there and watched, disappearing. “She is beautiful Simon.” Price said breaking the silence.
Simon shrugged and nodded. “Would never think ya have a family.” Soap said with a teasing tone.
Price glared at him before Gaz chuckled. “Honestly I thought the same.”
Simon looked at both of them. “I didn’t either.”
Price sighed and shook his head. “I knew,” everyone looked at him. “You might seem like a cold hearted lieutenant however you have a kind heart,” Silence roamed through the air, Simon did not expect him to say anything like that. “I’m proud of you son.”
Soap was wide eyed then looked at Simon. “Nah he is right, never seen you so…”
“Don’t push it.” Simon grumbled seeing that glint in his eyes.
Soap put his hands up before looking at him. “For real though sir, you have an amazing family here.”
Gaz shuffled before standing up. “If you need a babysitter pretty sure Lola would love to watch her.”
Simon chuckled before standing up with him. “Have to fight the missus first.”
Gaz chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You really look happy chap, just happy that you are able to find something and someone’s to come home to.”
Simon was shocked all around, he hasn’t heard any of these before from them. At least Soap and Gaz. Price every now and then. He felt proud yet it was odd to feel that way. “Thank you, all of ya.”
Price finished his tea as he stood up and walked to Simon. Gaz heading towards the door, giving a curt nod. Soap followed Gaz and gave a two finger salute. “See ya later sir.” Soap said was he opened the door. “Tell the lasses I said bye!” He hollered out.
“I’ll meet ya in the car yeah?” Price said to Gaz.
Gaz nodded and gave a wave to Simon. “Seriously proud of ya sir.”
Simon stood there for a moment before looking at Price. “You really have come a long way Simon. Ever since you met her it’s like you became lighter.”
Simon looked away towards the upstairs. “Like Gaz said John she is my home to come to.“
“I know she is, just proud of you for where ya at,” Price said as he sighed. “You were so lost Simon until you married her. She changed you for the better and you let yourself do that as well. I just wanted to tell you that I’m truly proud.”
Simon looked at Price and inhaled. “Thank you sir but I’m still terrified.”
Price chuckled and patted his shoulder. “Oh that won’t change, wait till she brings a boy home.”
Simon froze as Price walked towards the door. The poor bloke that would be coming home to Simon, she may never get a boyfriend until he dies. Yeah that would be the case.
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honesty-my-policy · 11 months ago
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i'm so infuriated
I'm not Jewish and I'm so infuriated at the world.
I can't imagine how it must feel to be Jewish. Especially as this entire ordeal has made me dive more into educating myself about Jewish history and how the world truly has always blamed everything on the Jews.
How is everything their fault?
Even the crucifixion of Christ has been blamed on the Jews when it was a Roman tradition?
Martin Luther who is known as one of the original reformers in Christianity's history wrote a book called "On the Jews and Their Lies". In which he advocated for burning down synagogues, Jewish homes and if that didn't work, Jewish people!
Apparently, somehow, Jews caused the Black Death despite the fact that the most predominant modern theory is that due to climate change in Asia, rodents began to flee the dried out grasslands to more populated areas which ended up spreading the infected fleas they carried, thus spreading the disease. The fleas infected not just rats but ground rodents in general, so once the rats migrated the fleas could jump to any ground rodent and the infection spread.
Some of the craziest modern stuff though has come mostly from the Middle East (i wonder why)...
Apparently, Israel has remote control sharks that can attack Egyptian civilians and tourists, at least that's what a Governor of Egypt things. source
According to a fundamentalist group of Muslims called the Wahhabis, the Jews have a secret ally they've been conspiring with... the Gharqad tree. A tree, they call it the Jew tree. source Which is identified as either nitre bushes or Lycium which is part of the nightshade family, it's such a thing that the TREE WIKI PAGE TALKS MORE ABOUT THAT THAN THE TREE ITSELF source
Palestine once said that Israel was breeding super rats that could grow twice the size of a normal rat - just to chase Arabs out of Jerusalem, note this was in like 2008, where are these super rats NOW? source
The Nation of Islam (an organization) accused Jews of tricking people into thinking slavery exists??????? Sorry, "still" exists. This was originally in 1996, the gall this motherfucker had in 1996 to say "Where is the proof?" - oh, his name is Louis Farrakhan btw and there is an entire section dedicated to him on the anti-slavery website iabolish.org - his page
Also, Pokémon is a Zionist conspiracy plot to overthrow Saddam Hussein, at least, in 2001 that was what some Iraqi security personal reported. source
listen... I won't lie. I love a good conspiracy theory because to be honest, the amount I trust my government or anyone in authority is so small that just about anything could come out as true and I'd be so un-phased.
but blaming the Jews for everything when they make up an estimated 0.2% of the population versus say the 23% that is Muslim? Which there are approximately 50 Muslim-Majority countries in the world, though depending on sources the exact number differs.
If anything Christianity (32%) and the unaffiliated (16.3%) should be eyed at. Also, how come no one ever gives the folk religion people a hard time? Not that anyone deserves to be given a hard time as long as they aren't hurting anyone, it just boggles my mind to be honest.
sources for numbers cited came from this website: https://worldpopulationreview.com/
anyway, woke up this morning and just wanted to say this cause I'm mad and I want to show my support but also call out stupid people. I'm here to fight for Israel and the Jews, fuck off pro-palestine simps.
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eclipseberrycake · 1 month ago
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Fetch (Razzle and Dazzle x T! Reader)
AN: idk what to put for this one tbh. normally I just yap here but I got nothing to yap about. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go play Dandy's world :D
This is a request!
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☁ ...They...They weren't sure where to go from here in all honesty. There was never a handbook on Twisteds and everything they knew had come from the distractors bringing back their own findings alongside Rodger's almost manic need for information.
☁ But....This one was new. By all accounts, you appeared like a normal twisted, charging and chasing the first toon you saw- which was the distractor. They had made it a point to actively avoid looking in your direction, their chest aching at the very thought of seeing you so...upset.
☁ They knew first hand how being a twisted felt, but they couldn't imagine going through it more than once. You had gotten caught on a box last during one of the last runs and Scraps had managed to snag you back out of their arms just as the elevator shut.
☁ It was a particularly cruel turning, most agreed, and they hadn't left their room for days. This run was the first they had been on since, having dug up enough will that convince themselves that their love for you was greater than the disgrace they felt for letting you down.
☁ But to return to a run and for...this? They almost considered leaving. But they couldn't. Especially not with how you were looking at them. While your eyes were stained the trademark red, they looked up at them like they hung the stars in the sky.
☁ You were crouched on the balls of your feet as you stared up at them, the handle of a medkit clutched between your sharpened teeth. Razzle and Dazzle had to look at each other.
☁ They were pinned against the machine they were working on, looking for an exit. You were much faster then they were on this floor however, so any chance they had would prove fruitless and most likely get them hit. It's like you were taunting them, really. They'd been caught twice already and their healers were stretched thin with the distractors- especially with Brightney and Vee running about and their low stealth. That must've been how you got away.
☁ You weren't immediately attacking though, so that was a plus.
☁ "Hi, baby!" Razzle, ever the optimist, waves, while Dazzle looks around for any one of the distractors. Looey was coming up, cautiously, holding an airhorn in his hand. He made eye contact with them and they nodded, and he let it rip.
☁ You looked back and growled around the med kit, but to both their surprises, you didn't move. Well, not towards Looey. You didn't even look like you were considering it. No, instead you turned to face Looey, backing up as if you were protecting them.
☁...From Looey. The balloon dog.
☁ Razzle had to snicker even as Dazzle looked exasperated at the thought. Looey blinked at the action, looking up towards them, then back to you. "You...You gonna be okay with them? I can stay nearby for Panic just in case."
☁ "They seem un-aggroed right now, so I supposed we'll be okay." Dazzle muttered. "But maybe stay nearby if the other have the other twisteds under control."
☁ Looey nods with a salute. "Aye, Aye. I'll try to stick between you and them just in case of strays. Lightspeed, my friend."
☁ Watching Looey leave, Razzle and Dazzle are left looking at you. You hadn't stopped growling until after Looey was out of your sight. Then, and only then, you turned to face them again, all traces of aggression gone and over with. Instead, you looked rather comparable to the cat that caught the canary, still holding the medkit that really should've gone to Cosmo.
☁ Dazzle says as much and your face scrunches, as if disgusted by the idea before shaking your head. You drop it at his feet and nudge it towards them, doing it again when they make no move to grab it.
☁ They look at each other once more before calling for Cosmo, even if you visibly anger at it.
☁ The cake roll is quick to abandon whatever he was doing, turning the corner with a raised brow before eyeing the med-kit. He opens his mouth to say something as he fully steps around the corner only to pause, blinking as he stares at the twisted in front of them.
☁ You aren't growling, but you look close to doing so. The three of you stand at a stale mate.
☁ Then Cosmo holds his hands up in an act of surrender, watching you like he would watch a rowdy pet rather than a twisted. They know he has quite the experience built up with Twisteds, and honestly, they'd probably go to him for answers before they went to Rodger, so whatever lead he takes, they'll follow.
☁ All of this was working towards getting you back anyway, so the more research they can get towards the subject is a win for them.
☁ "I understand your worry." Cosmo startles them as he talks, but not to either Razzle or Dazzle, but to you. His eyes are locked onto you as he slowly kneels, holding a hand out. "I'll heal them first. I promise. But I need that so I can make sure we all can make it back to the lobby. You want to get better, right? I need that to give you the best shot at coming back."
☁ He speaks like he's dealing with a rowdy child and you whine at this, turning back to them. Dazzle nods to emphasize this while Razzle beams. "He's right! You know Dazzle and I miss you a whole bunch, but we need time to get you back, spotlight!"
☁ You look at both of them, then at Cosmo, picking up the medkit and dropping it on the other side of you, pushing it towards Cosmo. The cake roll immediately uses it, pulling out a treat out of his side pouch and tossing it to them.
☁ Razzle catches it and immediately digs into it under your careful watch while Dazzle's too busy watching Cosmo. "How'd you know how to do that?"
☁ Cosmo shrugs before nodding behind him. "I've been in the situation where a twisted shows a bit of...cohesion. Unlike the clones, they're still in there, it's just...getting to them." There's a far away look in his eyes that's blinked away near immediately.
☁ Dazzle takes this for what it is and lets the subject drop, instead turning his attention to where you're now watching them much more happily.
☁ You don't leave their side, even as panic hits, walking them the elevator despite Looey's attempts to call your attention away. You let them go and even wave in a manner that is pure claws and clumsy movements.
☁ It's one of the last runs needed before they can get you back, but they make sure to bring the duo every time after. It keeps you calm and docile, even if you snatch medkits away from Cosmo and Sprout just to bring them to Razzle and Dazzle- just for the entire process of explaining that Cosmo needs it more to repeat.
☁ Bands are free game and you refuse to budge on those; even if they give it to Cosmo when the elevator closes anyway.
☁ It doesn't stop there. Since you're on the floor before any of them, you're able to scout out the best of the best and drop it at their feet. Bottles of pop, boxes of chocolate, jumper cables, there's even been the memorable valve that you took out of Boxten's pocket.
☁ While they're greatful that you don't immediately snap on them, they miss you something fierce and work hard to get you back.
☁ It almost hurts their heart, watching you lean into Razzle's hand while Dazzle uses the antidote to bring you back, almost as if they're using your blind trust in them to manipulate you into coming back.
☁ But when you wake up and immediately lace both their faces in a flurry of kisses and praise, they know it was your way of waiting for them the same way they waited for you.
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eyelambspider · 2 months ago
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♡ Cocktail Parties || Ghost
⤷ summary : (fem!version) arguing with you right before an undercover op wasn't... the smartest, because now he has to watch you flirt with strangers. link to male!reader version!
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┊pairing : simon "ghost" riley x fem!reader (dress wearing reader), tf 141 mentioned ┊content warning : (un)established relationship (you can choose), jealousy, anger, slight angst, suggestive, arguments, mentions of drinking/alcohol, men & women flirt with reader ┊word count : 1.5 k ┊a/n : ashgfhsgjg j- nothing- :)
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The night was still young, on the crest of dipping into the rich gala that embodied upper-class society: Women and men alike danced in a whirl of sequins, satin and silk. Flaunting bubbling flutes of champagne and pretty lies. Bodies, throats, and wrists fitted snuggly and dripping in diamonds.
It was truly a party for the top one-percent of society. The extravagant guestlist filled to the brim with cold business moguls, old money, the famous, and the beautiful. Each bumping shoulders with glittery laughs and white smiles.
It gave Ghost a headache. Watching through the lenses of his binoculars as the crystal chandeliers glinted off the marble ballroom and directly into his retinas.
The operation had only 'officially' started merely an hour ago. The moment your shiny shoes kissed the floors below. And Ghost had come into it pissed.
Coiled up tighter than a snake and twice as twitchy, just a hair's breadth away from lashing out at the first thing that interrupted his brooding.
Price and the others had noticed, but decided not to comment on the Lieutenants hard-set jaw and his white knuckle death grip on the binoculars.
The three remaining member of Taskforce 141 exchanged knowing glances. Each of them knew it.
The two of you had fought before this.
About what? Nobody was going to ask. Not with him silently seething and muttering curses over the comms like a dreary static.
To say they were utterly relieved to be positioned away from him was an understatement. Eager to give the Lieutenant his space.
It left Ghost to his own thoughts, propped on the roof of the venue, looming over the edge of the intricately crafted glass dome like an ominous shadow. Giving him the perfect opportunity to watch over you-the Taskforce's trump card-as you gathered information on the ground and mingled.
Tonight, the collective mission was to get close to the target. To pick up information on most of the guests here, even a little. Each guest having their hands in less-than-legal business ventures. One man in particular... DeLuca or some asshole-ish name along the lines... who cared.
Ghost had something more important on his mind tonight.
He hadn't taken his eyes off you since you'd stepped foot in the building. The sight of you was enough to punch a hole clean through his chest and leave him burning up on the edges.
You walked the floor like you owned it, had to make sure of it to blend in with such an elegant crowd. A grin pulling at your lips, dripping with a natural charm that made hearts flutter. Eyes turning kindly towards whoever spoke to you or tried to catch your attention. Returning needy, simmering glances with a coy, knowing tense in your shoulders.
That was it. He was going to break these stupid fucking binoculars clean in half-
but ffuck-! He couldn't!
It would leave him without a way to watch you properly.
Ghost grit his teeth instead, suddenly forgetting to breathe under all the tension that was building up in his muscles. His legs were stiff. The one he was knelt on completely numb from the position, and his biceps were locked in a fierce bundle of (what he was convinced could only be) residual anger from your fight.
You moved through the fray of millionaires with a casualness that alluded confidence. Not afraid to gently part through the mass of high maintenance bodies and figures in a bid to get closer to the target on the other side of the ballroom. It caught the attention of those around you in a way that didn't bother the Captain, but rather, the Lieutenant.
The patrons of the party not looking with suspicion... but desire. A desire to know the woman who was walking with a quiet purpose and without a second glance back at them. When their time was worth thousands... you seemed to spare not a second on them.
Ghost couldn't even remember what the two of you had been fighting about. The entire gist of the argument flying out of his head as he watched. They all looked at you like they had a fucking chance in hell with you. It made his blood boil. The sounds of his contempt catching over the comms. "Fucking-... bloody b-... always-..."
Women with dark made-up lashes let their gazes fall over you as you passed, offering tiny giggles. Men trying to step into your path 'accidentally' and introduce themselves. Vying for your attention, or at least, your name.
Ghost had been so caught up in the fight. So angry and refusing to be anything less than right that he hadn't seen you since earlier today. Had missed the way you had gotten ready for the operation-for the party.
You had cleaned up well. Hair trimmed and styled neatly, a few locks dropping tantalizingly near your temple. And... "fuck me" Ghost muttered inaudibly... Your black dress fit your body like a dream. Sleek and elegant, enhancing the curves of your shoulders and chest, sinched to a fault at the waist.
Ghost felt a heat begin to bloom over his body and trickle down to the swell in his pants. Drinking in and savoring the sight of you even if he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. His brown eyes followed your silhouette, eye wandering down the soft curve of your hip and the slit in your dress that revealed the supple skin of your thigh... The sleek fabric made your legs look...
Fuck, you were beautiful.
He shook his head and grumbled some more, still trying to huff in defiance of how he felt. Even if he was still heated, it was for an entirely different reason now.
Within range of the target, you stopped just short of Deluca's social circle by picking up a bubbling flute of champagne to avert suspicion. Before you could even pretend to bring the rim of the glass up to your lips, a woman's hand clasped gently over your shoulder, running over the fine fabric of your dress with a perfectly manicured caress. A soft, sharp smile dancing across her lips as she stepped in front of you, inviting herself into your space seamlessly. Her hand lingering and trailing down your bicep before she pulled it away.
Ghosts gloves creaked in protest again as he gripped his binoculars tighter. Watching her eyes rover over your face, tracing your jawline with a bone-deep confidence in herself. Had Ghost been down there, no one would lay a hand on you like that. No one would even be able to fucking shoot you a longing glance.
The man who accompanied her followed, debonair and smoky, reaching out a strong hand to shake yours in greeting. He bowed his head, gripping your hand subtly and leaning forward in order to steal a more intimate glance. His eyes flickering down to your lips before a grin pulled at his cheek and he stepped back.
The two making easy conversation with you.
"That cocky fucking bastard," Ghost seethed, attention zeroing in on the walking trust fund in front of you.
It was part of the operation. He had to tell himself that to keep his fucking head on straight.
You were in the best spot to pick up chatter from the target behind you. Indulging in laughs with people who had learned how to carry one without a second thought.
And there wasn't a fucking thing Ghost could do about it except watch. The way people teased and flirted so openly with you, stealing touches and glances. Drinking you in like the sparkling bubbles they held flawlessly between their fingers. All haughty gazes and blatant interest.
It made Ghost's stomach and chest roil with disgust. A deep heat settling over his body. The anger that once simmered in his veins was now laced with an even uglier emotion: unbridled jealousy.
No. After this fucking farce of an operation was over and you were back with the team... He was going to find you. Fuck-! you were his the moment you stepped out of this building.
The thought made his body flutter with rage and lust. The idea of having you alone now, in that dress of yours and all to himself, was a dangerous one.
You were going to get an ear full after this... fuck, maybe more. The image of his own hands running over your dress flashing into his mind. Hiking your leg over his waist, kissing you until your pretty hair was disheveled and your dress rumpled under his hands.
Those rich pricks would get an eye full of you now-let them-because he was going to be the only one to see you writhing and blushing beneath him at the end of the night.
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suspiciouslackofclowns · 3 months ago
Text
She thought that coming up the hill would be the hardest part, but that proves to be wrong once she’s at the top.
Max hadn’t had the courage to visit by herself. Hadn’t wanted to experience the awkwardness of being both alone and un-alone, talking to someone and no one.
Most likely no one.
She thought about buying a Ouija board, but Robin very narrowly talked her out of it.
This seemed like a better alternative anyway.
Of all the birthdays she knows her brother spent alone, held up in his room with no gifts or cake because he claimed to not care about that shit, she figured that he shouldn’t get to choose this time.
So, there’s a blanket spread out on the grass with an unopened cake from Melvald’s on top, and a bouquet of flowers.
“Man, he would’ve called this gay,” Steve muses.
He leans against his hand, legs semi-stretched beside him, admiring the inscription on the headstone like it’s nothing more than a rock with writing on it.
And maybe, to him, it isn’t.
Max huffs a laugh, but it’s clipped near the end. Heavy, when her throat bobs, and she nods as tears slip down her cheeks.
“He’d call me a shithead and probably still try to steal a slice when nobody was looking,” Max says with a chuckle.
Steve huffs amusedly and shrugs.
“He was a funny guy.”
His gaze wanders off as he tugs some blades of grass up from the ground, snapping and sprinkling them into a small pile at his side with his free hand.
The finality to his words has Max’s brows drawing together.
She often wonders if, maybe, she and Steve never clicked for a reason, and if she probably shouldn’t have invited him up here when Robin suggested it.
Trust me, she had said. Take Steve, if you take anyone.
“Guess so,” Max murmurs.
Her eyes wander down to the cake sitting between them, blank, just as it was on the shelf. She wipes her eyes and thinks about reaching out to pop the plastic lid off when Steve shifts.
“Wasn’t really big on sweets,” he says.
Max blinks at him.
“What?”
“Billy,” Steve says, glancing over at her and gesturing vaguely to the headstone. “He didn’t like sweets.”
She stares for a long moment, searching her mind for a protest. Comes up blank when she tries to think of the two of them getting ice cream or something together, but she can’t recall him ever ordering anything for himself.
Across the blanket, Steve hums amusedly and smiles to himself, fiddling with a single grass blade between his fingers.
“He liked the apple pie at the diner, though. With a scoop of plain vanilla ice cream.”
“You guys went to the diner together?”
Steve’s face flushes a light pink and he shrugs again.
“Yeah? Quite a bit, actually. I think they still have his senior photo up by the register. Guy could demolish a burger.”
Max’s eyes mist over again, but she chews her lip and nods. Pushes a hand through her hair and turns her gaze down toward the blanket.
“I always thought he was, like, out partying or something.”
“We partied,” Steve admits. Shifts and lays down on his side, propping his head up in his hand. “But we usually… found somewhere quiet and just talked. Sometimes at the diner, sometimes the quarry, I think even the pool once or twice.”
He suppresses a grin as he thinks to himself, lightly nudging his sneaker against the stone. Like he’s unaware that it’s even there.
The line between Max’s brows deepens.
“If you guys were so close, then why weren’t you at his funeral?” she snaps.
Immediately, she cups a hand over her mouth, eyes widening as Steve glances at her again.
His brown eyes grow bigger for just a moment.
“I don’t know,” he confesses. A new heat rises to the surface of his skin, eyes becoming glassy. “Felt like maybe I wasn’t supposed…” he pauses to clear his throat before continuing, “I, ah, visit a lot, though.”
“You do?” Max blurts.
Steve nods. Nudges the slightly older, more brittle bouquet lying next to the fresh one with the tip of his shoe.
“Who do you think leaves the flowers?”
With her hand still clamped over her mouth, Max stares at him again.
“How often do you come here?”
“Oh, just… whenever,” he says. “Maybe like three or more times a week?”
“Three or more times a week?”
Now, Steve sits up, brows drawing together.
“What’s your deal? If I knew you were gonna freak out and yell at me about everything I say, I wouldn’t have agreed to come up here.”
Max holds her hands out in front of her.
“Okay, no, you’re right, I’m sorry,” she says. Sighs and rubs a hand over her face. “I guess I just… I dunno, we were never close, but I kinda always thought I knew him best. Now I’m finding out you guys were apparently linked at the hip, and he never… I didn’t even know he didn’t like sweet stuff…”
Her skin grows hot and her eyes well with tears again. Chapped and boiling over.
Steve’s expression relaxes, and he drops his shoulders.
“He wasn’t just secretive with you. Most of what I learned about him was just by observing,” Steve reassures. Then chuckles. “He was always calling me these stupid nicknames, and the one time I called him something back — angel face — he flipped and yelled at me. No idea why.”
Max sniffles and wipes her eyes with her palms, accepting the small bundle of napkins when Steve passes it over to her.
“Angel face?” she asks.
Suddenly, Steve looks away bashfully.
“Dunno, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing I said. He hated it, so I never used nicknames again.”
Max shakes her head, which earns a puzzled look.
“He didn’t hate nicknames,” she says. Glances briefly at the headstone and then away again. “Angel face is what his mom called him.” It feels like a betrayal, to say it out loud, and Max winces. “I overheard Neil mention it in their arguments once or twice.”
She fiddles with her pant leg in her lap for a moment. Looks up to see Steve’s eyes nearly overflowing with tears, staring at the headstone.
“Oh,” he croaks.
The sight, the sound of his voice has Max’s throat going tight.
She shifts in place. Watches as Steve takes a shaky breath and reaches up to wipe his eyes with the heel of his palm. Then, she’s pushing herself up and shuffling across the blanket on her knees, reaching her arms around his shoulders.
At first, he doesn’t react. Then there’s an arm stretching around her back.
Hugging him is exactly like she thought it would be. Like he’s comforting her, and not the other way around. Steady, grounding, like she knows him to be for others.
She makes a mental note to thank Robin later on.
“He really was a funny guy.”
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