#then get in a boat that will take me to the northwest passage in just a few days time

[crancisfrozier]

Anybody have a spare $20,000 to give me so I can go to beechey island and sit on the rocks and stare at the Franklin graves for 12 hours while considering the unstoppable force that is the passage of time

[legobiwan]

More thoughts because I apparently need to draft an entire backstory before I can write a "drabble" (which will definitely not be a drabble), aka, more lore ideas for a show that's already been picked over with a fine-tooth comb a million times, but here we are, years late, Starbucks in hand, as the old meme goes.

At the end of the whole Weirdmaggedon fiasco, Ford makes his hilariously inept proposition for him and Stan to go sailing the Arctic (Ford's heart was in the right place, but this is not how you want to introduce the possibility of fulfilling your childhood dream to your estranged and traumatized brother of 30+ years).

Anyway, Ford's lack of social skills aside, we know the general location of where they're heading from Ford's fancy-pants watch.

Now, they have a few options to get to the Spooky in the Arctic.

Take the Panama Canal

Take the Northwest Passage

Start their trip from the East Coast

Option 1: The Panama Canal, aka, a legitimate, if unlikely idea

While private vessels can cross the canal, it looks like the cost of doing so runs about $2500, maybe not an issue for the Pines twins by the end of the show, but in addition to this, crossing the Canal requires 4 linemen, who Stan and Ford would have to hire. My instinct says they wouldn't be so interested in this, at first. Maybe Ford's fixation on the Arctic was just an excuse, but given his canonical enthusiasm, I doubt he would want to deviate too far from that course. Likely the Stan twins come back later do the Canal, on their way back to Oregon. Maybe.

Option 2: The Northwest Passage, aka Death

A route through the Arctic has been the dream of many an explorer for centuries. In recent times, mostly due to global warming, the Northwest Passage has become a sliver of a option to get from West to East. Territorial and political disputes aside, it's still a wildly unsafe option, and one I imagine Ford would love to give a go at, considering all the lore surrounding the Franklin Expedition. Stan, however, would vote this down immediately. He'd like for him and his brother to live to see sixty. And not resort to cannibalism. At least not immediately.

Option 3: Setting Off From Jersey, aka, You Can Go Home Again (But Not For Too Long)

Our final option is for the Pines twins to set off on their adventure from the good old East Coast. Aside from the narrative symmetry, it's also the most practical option. This leaves us with some tantalizing loose ends. Do Stan and Ford build their boat in Oregon and then haul it cross-country? (And what a trip that would be). Or would they have it shipped and meet it later? (Realistic, but boring). Or maybe they go back East and build/order/buy the boat there. And by there, I do feel like there's no other place they could go through with this idea than Jersey. Now, they can't go from the major ports (the Port Authority Ports of New York and New Jersey, which are mainly located in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Newark, and...Bayonne). But! There are a bevy of slips and marinas up and down the Jersey coastline, perfect places to build/buy/refurbish a vessel (and a relationship). A place to leave a lifetime of ill-will behind and start anew.

This makes me think about Stan and Ford, back in Jersey after all that time, probably not too far from where they grew up. It would be a wonderful setting to explore some kind of character piece (especially if they go on some of bonkers road trip to get there) and narratively, it just fits too well.

There's no real thesis to this analysis, aside from the idea that Stan and Ford likely began their journey in the exact place they ended it so long ago. As I said, narrative symmetry and all that jazz.

[andrew-rannells-mustache]

long-forgotten, lonely cairn of stones | The Terror x Stan Rogers - my playlist for @terrortracks Day 2: single artist or band

Some songs by Stan Rogers that remind me of the Terror, track list/key lyrics + honorable mentions below the cut :-)

1. Northwest Passage

“seeking gold and glory,

leaving weathered, broken bones

and a long-forgotten, lonely cairn of stones”

2. Take it From Day to Day

“no stranger, I, to the touch of steel

or the honest fear any man can feel

but I long for dust under my heels

and a pocket full of pay”

3. Make and Break Harbour

“in make and break harbour

the boats are so few

too many are pulled up and rotten

most houses stand empty

old nets hung to dry,

are blown away, lost, and forgotten”

4. Giant

“the wind’s in the north,

there be new moon tonight

but we have no circle to dance in it’s sight

so light a torch, bring the bottle,

and build the fire bright

the giant will rise with the moon”

5. The Puddler’s Tale

“there is a sign beside the gate

‘eleven days since a man lay dying’

now every shift brings fear and hate

and shaken men in terror crying”

6. Maid on the Shore

“there is a young maiden, she lives all alone

she lives all alone on the shore-o

there’s nothing she can find

to comfort her mind

but to roam all alone on the shore shore shore

but to roam all alone on the shore”

7. Half of a Heart

“that one behind you, on the padded velvet throne

don’t turn around! you’ve seen that kind before

wolves hang around here

and they hunt the woods alone

waiting for hearts

to wander through the door”

8. The Last Watch

“they brought me here to watch her in the boneyard

just two old wrecks to spend the night alone

it’s dark inside this evil place

clouds on the moon hide her disgrace

this whiskey hides my own”

Honorable Mentions

Canol Road - This song gives me such Hickey vibes (probably becuase it’s about a guy running away after murdering someone lol) but it ultimately didn’t fit The Vibes so! Snip snip!

The Jeannie C. - I like the refrain of “I will go to sea no more” because it fits Crozier but I think The Last Watch fits him better + it calls back to his “this ship knows everything about me” line so that won out (also just to clarify, the “her” mentioned in The Last Watch’s lyrics is a ship, not an actual woman lol)

White Squall - I love this song and some of the lyrics fit but sadly it just wasn’t Terror-y enough to get a spot, what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*(Also if anyone reading this wants to check out Stan Rogers’ stuff but isn’t a fan of slower songs/ballads (which is like. 90% of this playlist) I suggest Acadian Saturday Night or Flowers of Bermuda, they’re two of my favorites! :-) )

[cinematicnomad]

I must admit, whenever I see your gifsets for "The Terror", I always end up waiting to know more. I've never heard of this show before but it intrigues me, especially the pairing you make content for, fitzier I think you named them?💜

Just wanted to tell you that. Please keep making content for this show and pairing :))

oh lol 😅 i'm out here in my hyperfixation era re:terror so i'm gonna keep making gifs until i'm bored. like, i've posted almost 50 sets for this show already and they're routinely getting less than 100 notes and i don't even care 😂 this is a niche show with a small fandom that came out in 2018 and i definitely missed the boat on its height but i'm having fun so!! this is for me.

basically the show is an adaptation of the novel by the same name which is itself a fictionalized exploration of what happened to the lost franklin expedition it the 1840s. the franklin expedition was a real british expedition where 2 renown ships (called erebus and terror respectively) holding 130 men tried to find the northwest passage and instead went missing with everyone presumed dead. based on what was left behind, we know that the ships were trapped by the ice, that at least 2 dozen men (including the expedition commander) died before the ships were eventually abandoned and the now-in-command crozier and his now-second fitzjames tried to lead the survivors to canadian mainland on foot and all vanished. what evidence remains shows that the men most likely died due to scurvy, lead poisoning, starvation, hypothermia, and more (and there is also some evidence of possible cannibalism).

the book, and the show, takes liberties with the story, turning it into a supernatural horror narrative where, along with being threatened by the inhospitable land they're trapped in, the men of the ships are also hunted by a local mythological bear-type creature. crozier, portrayed by the talented jared harris, is arguably the lead of season 1 though it does have a large ensemble cast. i first heard of the show back in 2018 when it first came out but i could never find anywhere to watch it until i finally stumbled across it on hulu this september and i have been obsessed ever since.

as for fitzier, i'm not big on "shipping" characters portraying real life people but given the heavily fictionalized and paranormal narrative of the show i've mostly gotten over that. there are some amazing fics on ao3 that i've read (naturally i read a lot of fix-it fics lol)..there's just something about doomed love that really gets to me. especially between crozier and fitzjames—the two start off at odds with each other (as you can probably tell from the gifs i've been posting) but they grow so close over the course of the show that when they're inevitably parted by death it's such a gut punch even though you always knew it was coming.

if you do want to watch it i HIGHLY recommend. i binged it all in a single night back in september and it has stuck with me ever since. there is a second season but i've never seen it—it's an anthology series and s2 has nothing to do with s1.

[kleptonancydrew]

Nancy Drew and Education

So apparently the Clue Crew is full of teachers? Who knew. Well, as a former homeschooled student, current teacher, and (hopefully) future homeschooling parent/teacher I have been planning on integrating the games into lessons for a long time. Below the cut I have just a few of my many ideas (some more fleshed out than others). Feel free to use, adapt, or add your own! 

SCK:

-        Braille

o   How blind/vision impaired people navigate the world

§  How we can make it more accessible for them

o   How do braille books and printers work

-        ASL

o   Memorizing the alphabet and basic signs

§  Build up fluency

o   How HOH/deaf people navigate the world

§  How we can make it more accessible for them  

o   Connections of ASL to other signed languages

§  French Sign Language versus British Sign Language

-        Dangers of gas leaks

o   What to do if you smell or hear gas

-        Inequalities between mens and womens sporting opportunities

o   See Women’s Soccer

-        What are performance enhancing drugs

o   What is the difference between #steroids and the steroids your doctor might prescribe

-        How drug running is a gateway crime

-        Why blackmailing people isn’t good

-        More reasons to never move to Florida

-        Why you shouldn’t go to an actual high school part one

 STFD:

-        Television in NYC

o   Soap Operas

o   How television sets work

o   Role of director

o   Teleprompters

o   Props

o   Agents

-        Theatre in NY

o   Broadway

§  Learn a show

o   Carnegie Hall

-        Dangers in the ways we obsess over celebrities

o   Paparazzi

o   Stalkers

o   Respecting privacy

-        NY taxi system

-        NY regional accents

-        NY as a center for immigration – salad bowl

o   Ellis Island

-        History of NYC

o   Geography of NYC

-        Typewriters

-        Towers of Hanoi

-        Encoding  

-        How to make chocolates (with or without poison)

-        Read along:

o   New York the Novel (Edward Rutherford)

o   The Power Broker

o   All of a Kind Family

 MHM:

-        San Francisco Gold Rush

-        Earthquake and Fires in San Fran

-        Golden Gate Bridge

-        Angel Island

o   Asian (Chinese) Immigration to the USA

-        Chinese Zodiac

-        Fortune telling (and why it’s not okay)

-        Bed and Breakfasts

-        San Francisco today

o   Technology boom

o   Overpriced everything

§  How this hurts established residents

§  Homelessness in San Fran

-        Bandits in the American West

-        Hauntings in American buildings

-        How to remove and install tile

-        Renovations – refurbish something

-        Antiques

o   Visit an antique shop

-        Importance of fire safety

-        How to install lighting fixtures properly

-        How to fix a dumbwaiter

o   How not to be a dumb waiter

-        Tangrams

-        What is the Victorian period

o   Significance of Queen Victoria

-        Read Along:

o   Little Brother

o   Paper Son: Lee’s Journey to America

o   Angel Island Gateway to Golden Mountain

 TRT:

-        The French Revolution

o   Marie Antoinette

o   Women and the French Revolution

o   Worldwide effects of the Revolution

o   Historians of the French Revolution

-        Writing history

o   How we can focus on different events in history, how we can be sympathetic to certain people, how we can fulfill different spaces in the historical narrative, criticism of history as a field, entering history as a field

-        Wisconsin Dairy industry

-        Alarm systems and how they work

-        Fingerprinting

-        Elevator safety

-        Ski lifts

o   Skiing

-        Vandalism

-        Taking care of libraries

-        Latitude and longitude

-        Keeping records of good events and bad events

o   Nothing you do will ever stop me from loving you

-        Some people keep different sleep schedules

-        Journalism

-        Making translations  

-        Why France has different holidays – to keep the ski lodges from getting too full

 FIN:

-        History of theatre spaces

-        Use of film at theatres

-        Magicians

o   Houdini

o   Learn a ‘magic’ trick

-        Library of Congress

-        Demolition – wrecking balls

o   What’s involved

-        Plaster casts

-        Historic register of buildings

o   Visit a local historic building

-        Price of concessions and movie tickets today

-        Nickelodeons

-        Celebrity stunts for attention from press

o   Celebrity endorsements

-        Jazz music

o   Dancing

-        Kidnapping stories

o   What to do if someone tries to grab you

-        Rubber vs. electricity

-        Art/artists of the 20s

 SSH:

-        Numbering systems (particularly ones not based on 10)

-        Cultures of South America

o   Maya

§  Cultural understandings

§  Connections to what appears at Beech Hill

o   Aztec

o   Inca

-        Myths of lesser civilizations because of European preconceptions

-        Why do countries have consulates/embassies in other countries

-        What is amnesia and other medical memory issues

-        Provenance and why its important part one

-        Roles and responsibilities within a museum

o   Visit a museum

o   How to be critical of a museum and how knowledge is presented to you

-        Modern art

o   Make your own

o   Visit a modern art museum

-        Periodic Table of Elements

-        Positive and negative molds for casting

 DOG:

-        Prohibition

o   Speakeasys

o   Amendments to constitution

o   Drinking age restrictions

§  Comparison of USA to European countries  

o   Connections to modern drug policies

-        Recognizing and photographing local birds

-        Dangers in the forest – ticks and other pests

-        Why water sources are important

o   Flint water crisis

-        Visit a state park

o   Importance of maintaining public land

-        Alcatraz

-        How to care for dogs

-        Noise pollution

o   Light pollution

 CAR:

-        History of carousels

o   Visit a carousel

-        Lathes

-        Harmonicas

-        Band organs

-        Writing messages with lemon juice and other hidden inks

-        How to iron

o   How not to iron

-        How to make a sundae

-        How amusement park rides are designed

-        Soldering

-        What is parole

o   Welcoming those who have been in prison back to society

o   Problems with the American prison system

§  How it disproportionately affects minority groups

o   What can be done in prison reform

o   Abuses in prison

o   Making mental and spiritual help and guidance more available

o   Making sanitary products available

o   Prison for profit hurts everybody except the prison owner

o   Educational opportunities for those in prison

o   More half-way help

o   Juvenile sentencing reform – more out of system help

o   Respecting humanity of prisoners

o   Ending the death penalty  

-        Depression

o   How to get help

o   How to help others

o   Dealing with loss

DDI:

-        Native peoples of the Pacific Northwest

-        Orcas and other whales

o   Whaling industry in Northwest and Northeast

o   Things whale products were used for

o   Visit natural history museum with whale exhibition

-        Visit an aquarium with a good reputation

o   Problems with places that do not take care of their sea life – particularly large sea life like whales

-        What is a chowder and how is it made

o   Try or make chowder

-        Crabs

o   Restrictions on different types of crabs – what type is local

o   Try a crab dish

-        Importance of different knots  

o   Get some rope and learn how to tie different knots

-        Know the NATO alphabet and letter flags

-        Boating knowledge

o   Go on a boating trip – know the port and starboard sides

-        Learn how to kayak

-        Try to learn how to skip rocks

-        Visit a lighthouse

o   Importance and histories of lighthouses

-        Smuggling – what is it and why does it happen

-        Shanghaiing

-        Chess

 SHA:

-        The continuous oppression and mistreatment of Native Americans

o   From Mayflower to Pocahontas to Trail of Tears to Dakota to DAPL to Reservations to food deserts to voting rights to much much more

§  How to support current Native voices and concerns

o   Why Native Americans are not a costume

o   “Possession” of Native American objects and land

§  Arrowheads and native jewelry

o   Broad overview of regional Native American groups – using their own voices

§  Special focus on local Native American groups

·       Is there a local museum/educational resource that is either Native created or known for respecting Native voices

o   Current Native Americans of note (ex: politicians, activists, artists)

o   While the previous focuses on Native Americans in the modern day USA – also discuss First Nations from Canada and Native Groups from more southern areas

-        Why temperature and pan matters when baking (show what happens in the oven when it goes wrong)

-        Magnets and how different metals react differently to magnets

-        How to take care of a horse and other farm animals

o   Visit a local farm

o   Try horse-riding

-        Dangers of rattle snakes and scorpions

-        Lassos and how to use them

-        Legends of outlaws in the American West

-        Ghost towns  

-        Flower stitches when knitting/crocheting

-        Petrified wood

-        How to make a campfire

-        Picking fruits and veggies when they are ready

-        Flower language

-        Read Along:

o   Native American folk tales  

o   Motorcycles and Sweetgrass

o   Gone Away Lake

o   Black Beauty?

 CUR:

-        Where are the moors

-        Different regional accents within the United Kingdom

-        British foods

-        Latin

o   Learn fun phrases and prayers

-        Ancestry and genealogy

o   Map your own family tree and recognize family crests

o   How adoption has historically been a binding and irrefutable concept for lineage

o   Find places your family lived

o   Leaving a history for your descendants

§  Write a story book for them

o   British Royal Family

§  Why incest is bad

-        Parrots and their intelligence

-        Secret passages in old buildings

-        Alchemy

o   Connections to modern understandings of science  

o   Historical understandings of elements

-        Astrological signs

-        Witch trials

-        Legends of lycanthropy and other monsters

-        Importance of not taking other peoples medicines

-        Runic alphabet

-        Feeding your pets a healthy diet

-        Typing practice

-        How to embrace the idea that home taught students are evil geniuses

-        Forges and melting points of different metals

-        Carnivorous plants

-        Succulents

-        Constellations in different places  

-        Read Along:

o   The Secret Garden

o   The London Eye Mystery

o   Beastly

CLK:

-        Great Depression

o   Causes and effects

o   Who was hurt

o   Who was not hurt

o   Areas of America

§  Dust bowl

o   Famous people and literature

o   Homelessness and poverty

§  Bread lines

§  Soup kitchens

§  Anti-homelessness architecture

§  Connections to mental illness and veterans

§  How we can help those who do not have homes today

-        Early Telephones

-        Shakespeare

-        History of Nancy Drew

o   Mildred Wirt Benson

o   Edward Stratemeyer  

-        Fishing – why different fish respond to different bait

-        Orphanages in the early 20th century

-        Gas prices and accessibility of cars through time

-        How to make pie

-        What is jurisdiction and what is significant about crossing state lines

-        How do banks work

o   Safety deposit boxes

-        Identify theft

-        How to use a sewing machine

o   Sew an item of clothing

-        Mini golf – why and what

-        Mirrors and their usefulness

-        Stamp collections

-         

-        Radios and call signs

o   Comparison to modern internet forms

-        Telegrams

-        Read along:

o   Shakespeare

§  Midsummer Night’s Dream

§  Others

o   Pollyanna

o   Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

o   The Grapes of Wrath

  TRN:

-        Trains

o   Steam trains

o   Visit a train museum

o   Take a train ride (if not a normal event)

o   Importance of transcontinental railway

o   Trains around the USA today

o   Trains around the world (TGV, bullet train)

-        Abraham Lincoln

-        Mark Twain

-        How to make a good burger (you leave off the PB&J)

-        Slugs

-        Periodic Table of Elements – abbreviations

-        Gemstones

-        History of Mining

o   England (Newcastle upon Tyne)

o   American West

o   Appalachia

o   Company Store

o   Health issues for miners

o   Danger of mines

o   Current issues for mining

-        Dancing the Hurley Burley

-        People who collect creepy dolls

o   History of porcelain dolls

-        Embroidery

o   How to

o   Patterns/symbols

-        General Stores in the American West

o   Sears

-        How to make taffy

-        Find a well maintained and beautiful tomb and research who is entombed

-        Focusing light through a magnifying glass can start a fire

-        Read Along:

o   Murder on the Orient Express

o   Mark Twain books

DAN:

-        All lessons in French

-        How using different ingredients and different amounts of ingredients can affect the outcome of your cookies

-        Paris métro

o   History

o   How to read/follow a métro map

o   RER

-        Montmartre and other Parisian neighbourhoods

-        History of Île de la France and Square de Vert Galant Parc and Pont Neuf

-        WWII and the French Resistance

o   Cross of Lorraine

o   Vichy France

o   Abuses of the French gov’t in this period

-        Paris and the fashion world

-        Beauty standards and the rejection of natural beauty by society

o   Dangers of weight and figure standards

o   You are beautiful as you are

-        Catacombs of Paris

-        Famous French Dishes (from this region)

o   Or Bretagne since I know and like them better

-        The French Café

-        Moulin in France

-        Tea and how hot leaf water can taste so bad but still be good for you

-        Buildings of Baron Haussmann

-        Paris History  

-        Decoders

-        Importance of vitraux historically, culturally, and religiously

-        Read Along:

o   Little Kids

§  Madeline

§  Babar

§  Petit Ours

§  Plume

o   High School

§  Hunchback of Notre Dame

§  Les Mis

§  Dale Van Kley

 CRE:

-        History of Hawai’i and her native people

o   How the USA screwed them over and continues to do so

§  Land colonizing today

o   Listen to voices from Native Peoples

-        Pearl Harbor

o   USS Arizona

-        Native myths and legends

-        Local flora and fauna

-        Surfing

-        How to make bead necklaces

-        Snorkeling

-        Entomology

o   Find some local bugs and identify and observe them

-        Horticulture

o   See if you can graft something

o   Watch a carnation placed in water with food dye

o   Regrow a fruit or veggie from the leftovers

-        Go looking for seashells – see how many complete shells you can find

-        Be aware of pesticides and the dangers they offer

o   Dangers of organic food too

-        Make something with pineapple in it

-        Fishing – different kinds of native fish

-        Volcanos

-        Hula  

  ICE:

-        Wolf sanctuaries – respecting wildlife and their place in the wild and not the domestic

o   What to do if you see a wolf in the real world

-        Fur trapping in Canada history

-        Regions and Capitols of Canada

o   Visit Canada?

-        How the Canadian government works

-        Use of French language in Canada    

o   Unique features of Canadian French  

-        Ice fishing

-        How to cook omelets, salmon, etc.

o   How to not add paprika cause like ew

-        Fossils

-        Radiation

o   Marie Curie

-        How to be a good maid

-        Snowballs/ice balls

-        Ice skating

-        Winter weather safety

-        Avalanches  

-        Saunas

-        Birthmarks

-        Fax machines

-        How to not lie about bird watching

-        Frozen water safety  

-        Modern offenses against First Nations by Canadian Government

  CRY:

-        Culture of the Arawak and Caraïbe

o   Voodoo

-        Mardi Gras in New Orleans

-        Hurricane Katrina and aftermath

-        French Influence

-        Eyes and their parts and functions

-        Teeth and their parts and functions

-        Alligators in the Southern USA and how they are dangerous pests  

-        Graveyards/cemeteries and how to be comfortable in them

o   Modern burial practices

o   Why are they above ground in Louisiana?

o   Places where they are running out of space for the dead

o   Historic violations of final resting places

-        Ventriloquism

-        Lizards and how to care for them

-        Rube Goldberg machines

-        Curio shops

-        Crystal Skulls  

 VEN:

-        International crime

-        Organized crime

-        Scopa

-        Italian basics

o   Learn an Italian aria

-        Italian food

o   Not just spaghetti

-        History of Venice

o   Current issues in Venice

-        Carrier pigeons

-        Micro-dots

-        “Observing the architecture”

-        Try to make gelato (or just get gelato, either way you get gelato)

-        Disguising yourself – put on an outfit and try to get me to not recognize you

-        Picking locks

-        Secret codes

-        Solfege

o   With hand signs

o   Learn a song in solfege

-        Carnivale

-        Learn how the sausage gets made

o   How to deal with food poisoning

-        How to secure your living space against burglars

o   Glass breaks, motion sensors, keypads, magnets, and more

-        Read Along:

o   Heist Society

o   The Prince

o   Merchant of Venice

  HAU:

-        Irish lessons (as much of this in Irish as possible)

o   Why the Irish language is important

-        Geography of Ireland

o   Provinces and counties

-        Irish names

-        Why Ireland has disliked and should dislike the UK

o   Historically

o   Famine

§  Emmigration

o   Easter Rising

o   Troubles

o   Present-Day

-        Importance of alcohol in Ireland

o   Uisce beatha

o   Guinness

§  Guinness world records

-        Irish music

o   Irish instruments

o   Learn some Rebel songs

-        Ogham runes

-        Irish foods

o   Something with lamb, who cares what

-        Don’t use friends for land development

-        Bogs

-        Chemical Reactions

-        Rockets

-        Inventions and secrecy during WWII

-        Religion in Ireland

o   Pagan traditions

o   Christianity

o   Catholic/Protestant tensions

-        Irish wedding traditions

-        How printing presses work

-        Irish castles

-        Sheep sheering/raising sheep

-        Irish legends

o   Fae

o   Leprechauns

-        Don’t drive and talk on the phone

 RAN:

-        Why blackface is problematic? (the fact that this needs to be said is problematic in and of itself)

-        Scuba diving

-        Sailing

-        Bermuda Triangle

-        Bats

-        Primates and their intelligence

o   Problems with animal research

o   Koko

o   Jane Goodall

-        Island resort culture

-        Metal detectors

-        Pirates

o   And the Caribbean

o   Their abuses

o   Different kinds

o   Modern day pirates  

-        How do walkie-talkies work

-        US mistreatment of island territories

-        Read Along:

o   Bloody Jack (Meyer)

 WAC:

-        Edgar Allan Poe

o   Stories

o   Baltimore

-        Piano

-        Victorian Dining traditions

o   How to set a place for fancy dining

o   How to fold napkins

o   Table manners

o   How to serve someone at a fancy dinner

o   How courses might work

o   How to use your silverware  

-        Why you shouldn’t go to an actual high school part two

o   Just fyi – that’s not how uniforms work

§  Have a school inspired dress code for a week

-        Bullying and why you absolutely will not be a bully

o   How to respond to bullying

o   Importance of talking to adults and counseling

-        Logic puzzles

-        Research the founding of a local school

-        Stringed Instruments

-        Plagiarism

o   Turnitin

-        Making sandwiches – like a good deli style sandwich

-        Photography scavenger hunt – make a digital (or physical) yearbook

-        Squirrels

-        Orthographic projection

-        DNA/RNA

-        Saving every major project on three different thumb drives

-        Getting along with roommates

-        States and Capitals

o   Countries and capitals of the world  

 TOT:

-        Tornados

o   Technology used to observe tornados

-        Meteorology

-        Prairie dogs

-        Life on the great plains

-        Great Plains Native Americans

-        Small towns in the Midwest honestly be like that

-        Defensive driving

-        Make a disaster kit

-        Know what to do in various natural emergency situations

o   What is the local alert protocol

o   What do local authorities recommend

-        How to maintain and fix a car

-        How to fix a broken device

-        What is tenure

-        How to budget

o   Go to the grocery store on a strict budget (however much you come in under budget is your candy budget)

-        Read Along:

o   Little House

  SAW:

-        Basic Japanese phrases

o   Learn to count

o   Writing in Japanese

-        Sudoku, nonograms, renograms

-        Japanese ghost legends

-        Japanese culture

o   Tourism

§  Ryokans

o   Space – everything small

o   Politeness/formalities

o   Hot springs/baths

o   Tatami and paper walls

-        Japanese cultural dress

o   Kimonos

o   Lolita? Fashion

-        Japanese names

o   Last name first

o   How to address others in Japan

-        Martial Arts

o   Ninjutsu

§  Traditional tools

-        Japanese tea ceremony

-        Schools in Japan

-        Teaching English as a foreign language

-        Japanese subway/train system

-        Pachinko and Japanese gaming

-        Japanese vending machines

-        Robotic animals

-        Bento

-        Japanese foods

-        Origami

-        How to fake a haunting

 CAP:

-        Basic German phrases

o   How to make a German word

o   Connections of German to English

-        German food favourites

o   Especially cakes

-        Storytelling as a cultural entity

o   How memory has worked differently in different times

-        Glass blowing

-        How castles provided for the local community

-        Bavaria in Germany

o   Cultural dress

-        Glockenspiel

-        How to make board games

-        Monster stories of central Europe

-        How to monitor security camera remotely

-        Read Along:

o   Heidi

ASH:

-        Arson

o   Watching how different accelerants burn a piece of paper

-        All politicians are at least somewhat self-serving

o   But write a letter to a local politician anyway

§  Different ways to contact elected officials, and why some don’t work

-        How to make ice cream

-        How a police investigation works

o   Problems with police departments around the world – specifically USA

o   Ways that police work unfairly targets minorities

§  If Nancy is innocent how many others are

-        How to use matches and lighters safely

-        Why you should not return to the scene of a crime – particularly a fire

-        Making sure smoke detectors work properly and the system is connected

o   We might not go to school but fire drills are still important

-        What is a mass spectrometer

-        Who to call if you’ve been arrested

-        What to do if you get pulled over

-        How the media can skew the truth and make their own narratives

-        Sound mixing

-        Be careful with what you say/post/record

o   Keep receipts and clarify when possible

 TMB:

-        What not to do at an archaeological site

-        Ancient Egyptian History

o   Pantheon, notable figures, relevant events

o   Pyramids, sphinx

o   Pharaohs

-        Modern Egypt

o   Arabic alphabet

-        History of archaeological digs in Egypt

o   Why they’ve been problematic

-        Dangers of the tombs

-        Mummys

o   How they are put together

-        Tomb raiders

-        Importance of water in the desert

-        How to piece together a broken artifact

-        How to gently brush off an artifact

-        There is no such thing as a dictionary for ancient Egyptian

-        Aliens did not build the pyramids

-        Senet

-        Desert life safety

-        How mirrors can be used to light a room

-        Read Along

o   Rick Riordan

 DED:

-        Nikola Tesla

o   All his fun stuff

o   Tesla Coils

-        3-D printing

-        Gummy fingerprints

-        Faraday Cage

-        Basic electric concepts

o   How to build a circuit board

-        Chemical safety

-        How a lab might work

-        Valuing different skills within academia

-        Ultraviolet light

-        How motorcycles work

-        Freelance photography

-        How to use academic databases

 GTH:

-        Slavery in the United States

o   Origins

o   ‘End’

o   Civil War

o   The connection to “southern culture”

o   Continued abuses of Black people in America

§  Importance of recognizing Black voices and what they are saying

§  Listening even when it’s uncomfortable

§  Checking privilege when you have it

o   Jim Crow Laws

-        Plantations

-        Gone With the Wind

o   The good and the bad

-        Civil War spies – female

-        Carbon monoxide poisoning

-        Burned out houses are not a safe space

-        Do not go digging through people’s coffins – rest in PEACE

-        Understanding that your family can be flawed

-        If you don’t want to get married, if you’re not happy in a relationship, end it

-        When a member of your family is sick you take care of them

-        Make a will, just in case your cousin kills you

-        Bachelor and bachelorette parties should feature activities that everyone is comfortable with

-        Read Along:

o   My Last Skirt: The Story of Jennie Hodgers, Union Soldier

 SPY:

-        Scotland and their identity

o   Celtic Nations

o   Independent Scotland

o   Call a Scottish person

-        Unicorns and other mythical creatures in Scotland

-        Scottish food

o   The appetizing parts

-        History of spies

-        Biowarfare

o   Code Orange

o   Other teenage stories dealing with anthrax

o   Current events and concerns

o   Historical biowarfare (smallpox blankets)

-        Ziplining

-        Archery

-        How to bug someone

-        Tartans and plaids

o   Kilts

-        Augmented Reality Glasses

-        Record players

-        How to reset a circuit breaker

-        Read Along:

o   Gallagher Girls

o   Code Orange

o   Little House (Martha)

o   Little Brother (Doctorow)

 MED:

-        Don’t meet your heroes

-        New Zealand

o   Maori culture

-        Survivor style game shows and realism

-        I’m not saying Aliens can’t exist, I’m saying they def aren’t involved here

-        Kayaking

-        Submarines and what they can do

-        Turtles

-        Earthquakes

-        Be careful with rope bridges

  LIE:

-        Provenance and why it’s important part two  

-        Greek art and how it was originally painted vibrantly

o   Abuses of Greek art through the ages

-        The British Museum and the issues with that

-        Greek pantheon

o   Legends and notable figures

o   Religious traditions  

-        Iliad and Odyssey

-        Art forgery

-        How to fire clay pots and pottery

-        Memorizing lines for a play

o   Staging for a play

o   Role of a director

-        Theatre

o   Lights

o   Curtains

o   Fly system

o   Sound

-        Greek alphabet

-        Historical importance of the Greek language and culture

o   Alexander the Great and Hellenization

-        Olympics

o   Historic and modern

-        Greece and the European Union  

-        Make something with pomegranates

-        Read Along:

o   Iliad

o   Odyssey

o   The Thief

o   Percy Jackson  

  SEA:

-        Iceland

o   Culture

§  Naming traditions

o   Language

o   Music

o   Food

-        Shipbuilding

o   Historic and modern ships

-        Ice caving

-        Northern Lights

-        Tides

-        Snowmobiling

-        Poetry

-        What is xenophobia

 MID:

-        Some games just shouldn’t be made

-        American witch trials

o   What actually went down

o   Misconceptions

-        Treating people with albinism as real people

-        Arson is bad

-        Herbal remedies and how they can interfere with modern medicine

-        Witchcraft and how not to

-        Salem MA

-        Ignorance promotes fear and hatred so we do our best to learn about others

[missionlameturtle]

post 2008 dS rec list (F/K focused)

All fics are F/K unless otherwise indicated! I tried to consolidate the non-F/K fics at the bottom of the list.

Arch To The Sky, sl-walker & kalijean. A long, Turnbull-focused series. Primarily gen but with flashes of F/K in some of the fics. Technically unfinished but can be read as-is.

The Train Goes Slow, atrata. Ray is patience fucking personified, and he hasn’t wanted to punch Fraser in days.

Why I Lied To You, Garonne. It’s 1930, and Ray Kowalski is undercover. Contains bootleggers, Al Capone, adventures on the frozen river Detroit… and a rather unusual Canadian Customs Officer.

The Way the World is, Garonne. Vecchio's POV, Fraser/Kowalski established relationship. Two years post-COTW, Ray Vecchio is back at the 2-7. Then the consequences of a murder inquiry make RayV start to wonder whether Fraser's keeping secrets from him. This one delves into institutional homophobia, fair warning.

Contentment, Garonne & Andeincascade. A fic about boys, and cars, and communication.

The Reaching Out One, Alex51324.  Every year they take their vacation time together and look for the hand of Franklin, the reaching out one, and when they run out of time they put a pin in the map and the next year they pick up where they left off. It all falls apart when Diefenbaker dies.

horseshoes and handgrenades, omphale23. A midcentury AU, in which there are photographs, parachute troops, invasions, exploding trees, foxholes, misunderstandings, bullets, letters from home, smokejumpers, roommates, and more exploding trees.

Can’t Even Focus On A Cup Of Coffee, helens78. life goes on in Chicago. Ray’s new partner keeps an eye on him as he tries to find a new sun to orbit.

Sweet Confessions Under His Tongue, thehoyden. It was like a car wreck, really. You just couldn’t look away. And Fraser looked up at Ray, with his expression like the cold fury of God.

Chasing Smoke, hazelwho. Benton Fraser is a Canadian smokejumper who finds himself in Arizona cross-training with a wildland fire crew led by Ray Kowalski, a veteran structural firefighter from Chicago who headed west after his divorce.

Ajax Fassbender’s Amateur Guide To Zombie Wrangling, brigantine. After Ray Vecchio disappears undercover into the wilds of Las Vegas, Fraser decides it’s high time to quit moping, and get on with life. Diefenbaker puts in his two cents, which is pretty much where the trouble starts.

Ch-ch-changes, mizface. Ray Kowalski thought he had an okay existence: he had a place to call home, didn't have to worry about a job, and nobody bothered him. If it wasn't for the fact that he was a zombie, things would have been pretty good. Then he met very much alive Benton Fraser, and his whole world was turned upside down.

Katabasis, aria. “I talked to your dad, I went through this place called the Borderland, I had a boat ride, I fed a wolf a doughnut, and I told stories for your soul,” Ray interrupted. “This does not mean you are not insane.”

Calm & The Black-Stained Sky, sageness. Two years post-COTW, Fraser is promoted to corporal & RayK becomes a volunteer firefighter in a small town in Yukon Territory—a small town with a spot of arson on its hands. Warning for child neglect.

The Love Song Of S. Raymond Kowalski, aria. Ray dared to smush his experimental hair down in hats in Canada, dared to eat everything Fraser gave him including the freaky bark tea, dared… dared to let Fraser turn his world inside out and meet his eyes afterward.

Academic Punk, thehoyden. The academia AU you never knew you needed.

Planes, Submarines and Snowmobiles: a case study in international policing, deputychairman. A post-COTW conference fic.

Many miles and city blocks, deputychairman. Stella happens to encounter Ray & Fraser at the grocery store.

Life In Freefall, feroxargentea. Coming out & the great maple syrup heist. This fic also deals with homophobia.

Long Way Down, feroxargentea. Eight years after a car crash left him with amnesia, Fraser has rebuilt his life, looking after his sister’s kids. Then unsettling memories start to surface and he starts to wonder whether the people around him have been lying to him all this time.

The Northwest Passage, crystalshard. A young man, lost in the snow in the far north, encounters two men who help him out. Warning for implied character death.

Not Quite Such A Bad Day, wagnetic. Ray is stuck with Turnbull during the events of Asylum but maybe it's not totally unbearable.

1500 Kilometers (& A Caboose), aria. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, Benton Fraser is in a caboose, playing table hockey and being soundly beaten by a twelve-year-old boy. My Life As A Dog crossover but perfectly understandable without having seen it. 

A House Is Not A Home, justbreathe80. They were up to their knees in snow and holy shit it was cold, but Fraser had a smile on his face that Ray had never, ever seen, and he knew, in his gut, that Fraser wasn't coming back to Chicago. Ever.

moments in the snow, tigrrmilk. Daemon AU. Ray combs his fingers through the patch of fur worst hit, and although he’s not looking at Fraser, he can feel him stand to attention.

Locked Room Puzzle, speranza. Although I don’t usually include speranza’s fics on rec lists on the assumption that most people already know about her, this one is from 2013 and I don’t know if you would have read it!

Birds Of A Feather, julia_here. Gen, SGA crossover.

The Mis-Adventures of Renfield Turnbull, Canadian Private Eye, daughtershade. Gen. AU Film Noir tale of the worst private detective in Chicago.

Not in Front of the Kid, catwalksalone. K/V. The one thing Ray and Ray weren't expecting? The Spanish Inquisition. That, and to become fathers overnight.

How The Ray Was Won, catwalksalone. K/V. One name, two men, three tasks and a motif. Or several.

Scenes From A Marriage, elementalv. K/V, Sentinel AU. This is the fic that persuaded me to give K/V fic a chance, so if you read one K/V fic from this list make it this one!

please feel free to reblog & add on your own recs!

[thiswasinevitableid]

You what would be hella? An angsty-ish fic with the ice prompt. Your work is so lovely and well-written, I cant wait to read what ever you next produce!

Thank you so much for that, I’m glad people are excited to read my stuff! Since you didn’t specify a pairing, I went with Sternclay. Angst ahoy (but with a happy ending), along with me playing fast and loose with arctic geography.

He’s one of the lucky ones. 

Joseph Stern, scientist aboard the HMS Erebus, is a fastidious man. He is also, unfortunately, prone to bouts of seasickness meaning his meals have been scant, even before the ships became locked in. 

But it also means he was not eating food tinned in cans laden with lead. And his experimental water system, with which he occupied himself on long days, meant he drank more filtered sea water and ice than he did from the stores tainted with the same blasted material. 

So when he and the remainder of the skeleton crew left the Erebus and her sister the Terror, his mind was much clearer than most. 

And that is why, when the bulk of them turned a direction that likely held only more ice, more death, carrying a writing desk while leading freshwater behind, he refused to follow, insisting their best hope of civilization laid the opposite way. 

They left him and his supplies, unwilling to listen to his case. And so he has walked, then trudged, then barely moved, across the ice.

When he hits water, cursed sea water, he contemplates stepping into it. But drowning would be worse than freezing, or so he’s heard. 

A head surfaces in a hole through the ice. A mans head. 

Stern blinks, confused. Then he laughs.

“Maybe I should take to the sea after all. You look well fed.”

The man frowns, “You look nearly dead.”

“I am.” He sits down, knees hugged to his chest for warmth. 

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” The man emerges from the ice, and in place of legs he has a spotted and strong tail, like that of the seals Stern used to watch from his cabin window. 

“Unless you control the weather, I don’t think you need to be.” In any other time, the sight of a legendary creature would send him into a frenzy of delight and curiosity. Now he simply stares. 

“Why are you here?”

“The Northwest Passage.”

“That’s, um, that’s a trade thing, right? Your kind wants to move the things you sell more easily across the waters.”

“You’re well read for a merman.”

“My home isn’t that isolated.” He shrugs.

Stern stares at the water, peeking through cracks in the ice, “So many dead. So many more will die, I’ve no doubt, and all for a quicker route for spices and gold.” He can’t even weep, his body won’t let him use the energy, but he shudders in distress. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay. “ The merman slides to him, cups his cheeks, strokes his beard, and his hands are warm, warm and real, and Stern presses against them, “I mean, it sounds fucking awful, but that, um, that doesn’t sound as comforting.”

“I don’t mind the comfort.” Stern rests his hands on the man’s chest, then his mind gets a moment of true clarity, “wait, your home. You said your home is not that isolated. Is it near?”

“Um, I can reach it in a few hours but” he points to his tail, “that’s the way I can. On foot it’ll take longer. And unless the humans I know have been really wrong about some stuff, I think if you try to swim with me you’ll die, like, right away.”

“I’ve walked lord knows how far. I can manage a little more, if you point the way.”

The merman looks torn, then takes Sterns hands, “I can do one better. I’ll be your guide. If you’re closed off from the water’s edge, look under the ice.”

He slides back the way he came, surfaces a few moments later to Sterns right. So Stern follows him, sometimes no more than shape to his right, other times a ghostly shadow swimming beneath and in front of him. When night falls and Stern manages a paltry fire and shelter with his supplies, Barclay, as the mer calls himself, promises to return at sunrise, and does so without fail for the next two days. 

As he trudges across the icy ground, the best moments are when his path allows Barclay to swim right beside him, head above water so they can converse. It’s worth the effort, the inhaling of cold air, to converse with another being. Better yet, Barclay is bright and friendly, curious about Stern’s research in a way none of his crewmates were. Barclay tells him stories of merfolk and sea monsters, even makes him laugh,  in return for Stern telling him about life in England and his research into undiscovered species. 

“They offered me the chance to study far off lands, discover creatures thought only to be legend. Silly thing to die for.”

“Doesn’t sound like you were the one who got the ships stuck. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn about the world.”

Stern’s rations have run out, and when he stumbles, Barclay doubles back, concerned. 

“I, I need, food, I’ll-”

“Wait right here.” Barclay disappears. Stern counts snowflakes, heartbeats, anything to distract from the pain in his belly. 

A fish hits the ice in front of him. Then it flops and wiggles across the slick surface, back into the water.

“Damn it.” He giggles, near hysterical. 

The fish lands again, head now gone. 

“Sorry, forgot humans aren’t great with live prey.” Barclay says sheepishly. 

Stern eats five more fish Barclay brings him, manages to get to his feet and continue on. 

Night falls, colder than the last few, and Barclay disappears with his usual promise to return.

------------------------------------------

“He’s not going to last the night, Barclay.”

Barclay turns, finds his friend Indrid in his human form at the door of his house on Amnesty Island. The seer gives him a sad smile. 

“No. No he can’t. I won’t let him.”

“Barclay-”

“Indrid” Barclay grabs his shoulders, “do you remember when you found Duck? How frightened he was, how he was certain you were death coming for him?”

“Yes.” Indrid says, pain flashing on his face. He’d found the human, left behind by his research expedition. Duck had volunteered to stay behind and freeze, in hopes of his team having enough rations to make the nearest town if they were a man short. Indrid found him, brought him back to Amnesty, cared for him. Fell in love with him and Duck, after a few weeks, returned the sentiment with gusto. 

“I can’t let that happen to Joseph. I can’t, Indrid, please, the last week, I, he’s unlike any guy I’ve ever met. I can’t let him suffer that way.”

Indrid’s face goes blank. Then he gives Barclay an unusually severe stare, “You have very little time, and you must follow my instructions to the letter.”

---------------------------------------------------

He’s going to die. It’s too cold, his body too weak. He is going to die alone, his family will never know what befell him, and he will never even get the chance to thank Barclay for his kindness, for making his last days bearable, at moments almost enjoyable. 

Lord have mercy on his soul. Let it be painless. 

All for nothing, for trade and money, is this end in the ice. 

Have mercy. 

He can’t see. His heart seems to slow. In the distance, something crunches on the snow. 

Mercy. 

-----------------------------------

“So this is the fella you took my boat and my dogsled for?”

“Yes, Mama, I’m sorry.”

The woman’s voice has a laugh in it, “You always did have a big heart. Guess it was only a matter of time before you brought some hard-luck human in.”

“He’s not just any human.” A warm hand brushes Stern’s hair, “I’ve never felt this way about a human before. A few other mers maybe, when I was younger.”

“Uh, Mama? Indrid says we got a ship comin in soon and we might wanna buy more’n normal.”

Why in the lord’s blessed name is hearing a southern accent?

He tries to ask this question, gets a groan out instead.

“He’s awake!” Barclays’ voice gets closer, and when he manages to open his eyes he finds familiar, deep brown ones looking at him.

“How...where?”

“Amnesty Island. My home.” He supports Stern’s head, helping him drink blessedly clean water.

“That’s...that’s not on any map I’ve seen.”

“And for damn good reason.” A woman with graying hair stands behind Barclay, “only those who need to know can find us, on account of the northern mers wanting some islands that were safe for them. Barclay decided you needed to know.”

“Thank you, Barclay. And thank you Mrs, um?”

“Cobb. But just call me Mama. Now, rest of you get, we need to haul supplies off that boat and Barclay needs some time with his fella.”

When the door of the small cabin closes, Stern reaches out, stroking Barclay’s coppery beard, “Why did you save me?”

“Because you’re a good guy. And, well, I care about you a lot. I like you even more. I couldn’t just leave you to die.”

This time, Stern weeps, with relief and exhaustion and the ghosts of his fear. Shivers even as tears dot his pillow. 

“Shhh, shhhhh it’s okay, I mean it this time. You still cold?”

Stern nods and Barclay tosses another blanket on top of him in bed. When the next wave of tears clear, the larger man is down to long underwear.

“May I?” He points to bed, and Stern weakly lifts the covers. Barclay climbs beneath them, wraps Stern in his arms, body flooding him with warmth and safety. 

“Been wanting to do this since that first day, but mer bodies aren’t great for keeping humans dry and warm. Kinda damp.”

“All-” Stern yawns, “all the same, I would like the chance to explore yours in more detail some day.”

“You got it.” Barclay hesitates, then kisses Stern’s temple, “but right now, time for you to rest. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. Raw, decapitated fish aside, I’m a damn good cook. Any requests?”

“Eggs. Good lord I’ve missed eggs.”

“Think I can rustle something up. Heh, that tickles.” He chuckles when  Stern rubs his cheek against the exposed patch of dark-haired chest. 

“It won’t for long. I’ll be clean shaven as soon as I can hold a razor without shaking. You think I’m handsome now, just wait til you see me well fed and groomed.”

“Looking forward to it.” A kiss on the cheek, then snowflake-light on his lips, “ goodnight Joseph. You’re safe here, I’ll see to it. And I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

“Just like old times.” Stern says, only half-joking.

Another, tender kiss, “Yep, just like old times.”

[poetrex]

Ok, Max... I enjoy your knowledge of military history and trivia, so #21. And #25 because I’m curious.

21. You're put in charge of the National Shipbuilding Strategy for the Royal Canadian Navy and Canadian Coast Guard. What are your procurement priorities over the next three decades?

OK, first—sorry I took so long to answer this! I know you enjoy history and trivia—and that's good, because there's a fair bit to unpack here. Apologies for the jargon.

So. The National Shipbuilding Strategy. I hate it, thanks! Specifically the Canadian Surface Combatant (CSC)—it's pork barrel politics on the most massive scale to build large warships in Canadian yards at such an inflated price. I suppose there's an argument to be made for building them at home, but I don't buy it. Icebreakers and offshore patrol vessels yes, but multirole patrol frigates? Far cheaper in foreign yards. So we're going back in time a few years and install yours truly as the (fictional, fanciful) Czar of Canadian Shipbuilding.

Let's start with the basics. Why do we need a Navy and Coast Guard, and what do they need to get the job done right?

Canada is a capital-M Maritime Nation. We border three oceans and have the world's longest coastline. 90% of international trade in bulk travels by water—it's always been the cheapest, easiest way to move heavy goods (as Norman Friedman is fond of saying, it costs less to move a car from Yokohama to New York by sea than to move a similar car by rail from Detroit). Guess who exports some bulky products? Canada. Guess who relies on the regular delivery to ice-free ports of produce and finished goods to maintain a high standard of living? Almost everyone on earth at this point. I live on a boggy rock in the North Atlantic—without maritime trade, it's a starvation diet of cranberries and moose-meat for me and my family. That's why you need a Navy—to secure fair access to the global commons, and to regulate and enforce the sustainable harvest of marine resources, for Canada and the world. You can raise, train and equip an army in under a year from scratch if you need to, but you can't wish a navy into existence out of thin air—modern warships can take ten years or more to build, and they are expensive. So let's talk fleet architecture and procurement strategies.

Icebreakers! We need them urgently, in all sizes but especially a Heavy Icebreaker. The proposed CCGS John G. Diefenbaker should have been a priority for domestic shipbuilding—it was intended to replace the Louis S St.-Laurent, which launched in 1966 and should've retired two decades ago. This need will only become more pressing as a warming Arctic makes the Northwest Passage a more viable route for international shipping.

Forget building the CSC at home—order frigates from European yards, or plan on piggybacking the USN's FFG(X) project. I'd probably take a dozen or so British-built Type 26s.

I've seen the Harry DeWolf-class Arctic / Offshore Patrol Vessel (AOPV) derided as a 'slushbreaker' but she's not bad. Would I like a thicker hull? Sure, but the additional costs aren't worth it, not for her RCN job description—I'd rather prioritize icebreaker capability in CCGS vessels. She's already pricey for an OPV, but it leaves Irving Shipyards something to chew on (I'm not completely unswayed by political arguments for domestic construction).

Joint Support Ships. Because Vancouver's Seaspan yard needs some love too, and because underway support and logistics is sexy.

Finally, Submarines! Our aging Victoria-class boats ought to be replaced, ideally by nuclear-powered subs capable of under-ice operations. Now that n-word's a hard sell, and not just to the Canadian public—the idea's been floated in the past, but nobody's especially keen on exporting their SSNs (and we can't build them here). So we'll likely have to settle for diesel boats—6 at a minimum to ensure operational availability, since you can expect 2 out of 3 vessels to be in maintenance or refit at any given time. I like SSKs but recent advances in Air-Independent Propulsion (AIP) notwithstanding, they can't do sustained polar ops, which is where a lot of... interesting stuff happens underwater (Russia knows the contours of our Arctic shelf far better than we do, for instance. And what was that mysterious Ping in the Hecla and Fury Strait?) So what do we need subs for? Well, partly I just think they're neat. No navy is complete without a subsurface component. They're deadly in war but what they really excel at in peacetime is surveillance. When Spanish trawlers were violating our Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ) during the 'Turbot Wars', it was our Oberon-class boats (along with CCGS vessels) that played a key role in collecting the evidence needed to chase them down in international courts. Additionally, operating submarines means we're part of the international waterspace management system through which foreign navies are obligated to inform us of submarines operating in or near our waters, which is also nice to know.

Phew! That was an earful, I hope I didn't put you to sleep. I could go on but I probably shouldn't.

25. If you could instantly master any language, which would it be and why?

Mandarin. I love the history and culture and literature of China. I have a few friends in Taiwan that I chat with from time to time. Someday I’d love to visit. I’m also fascinated by China’s naval development and would like to be able to read military publications in Chinese.

[scotiaeire]

BOOKS

WE HAVE A LOT OF THEM. PROBABLY A FEW THOUSAND (LOTS ARE IN BOXES STILL WAITING TO BE UNPACKED, MANY ARE STUFFED IN DRAWERS, CUPBOARDS, WHILST MY CLOTHING LIES THROWN OVER THE BOTTOM OF MY BED...)

I LOVE BOOKS. WHEN I WAS A BAIRN, I HAD A ROUGH, VERY POOR CHILDHOOD. WE’RE TALKING, HIGHLANDS OF SCOTLAND THREE FOOT OF SNOW AND ICE, BEING SENT TO SCHOOL WEARING AS MY FOOTWEAR, ONLY WELLIES, NO SOCKS, NOTHING TO CHANGE INTO. THE HUMILIATION OF THE P.E TEACHER ALWAYS HANDING ME (WITH A FAINT SNEER ON HER FACE) SOMEONE’S SPARE GYMSHOES TO WEAR IN SCHOOL WILL STAY WITH ME FOREVER.

I NOW ALSO HAVE A CUPBOARD FULL OF SHOES. IRONICALLY, I ONLY WEAR A COUPLE OF PAIRS....

ANYWAY, I LOVE BOOKS. BUT WE HADN’T ENOUGH MONEY TO FEED US ADEQUATELY (ALCOHOLIC PARENTS WITH A STORMY AS, YET MUCH LESS GLAMOROUS AS, RELATIONSHIP LIKE TAYLOR AND BURTON) SO I RESORTED TO SOME CUNNING TACTICS TO GET HOLD OF BOOKS TO READ.

I READ A LOT OF ADULT BOOKS, BY WHICH I MEAN, *NOT* PORN BUT H. RIDER HAGARD, EDGAR ALLEN POE, (MISERABLE BUGGER), DAPHEN DU MAURIER, ETC. I OUTRIGHT STOLE BOOKS FROM THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND OCCASIONALLY, FROM SHOPS. FEW PEOPLE NOTICE POOR PEOPLE EXIST, NEVER MIND WHAT THEY DO...

ALL TO SATISFY MY CRAVING FOR ESCAPISM, FOR THE WRITTEN WORD, *WELL* WRITTEN, FOR THE BEAUTY OF LANGUAGE THAT WASN’T A ROW OF “FUCKINGS” AND “SHE TORE OFF HER BLOUSE” OR “FOUR TEENS DECIDED TO GO INVESTIGATE THE LOCAL HAUNTED DERELICT HOUSE” (IN REALITY THEY’D STUMBLE UPON THE LOCAL GROUP OF WINOS AND END UP EITHER JOINING IN THE DRINKING SESSION OF GETTING THEIR HEADS BASHED IN WITH A BUCKFAST BOTTLE..)

SO, WELL, YES, I LOVE BOOKS. HARDBACK, PAPERBACK, DOESN’T MATTER SO LONG AS I LOVE THE STORY, THE WRITING, THE SKILL, AND THAT I CAN LOSE MYSELF IN IT ALL.

DESPITE WHAT I’VE SAID, I’M NO LITERARY SNOB. WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT, READ THE BUGGER, I DON’T CARE.

MY SOAPBOX RANT IS LANGUAGE. AN EXAMPLE...”THE TERROR” BY DAN SIMMONS. BASED ON THE INFAMOUS FRANKLIN VOYAGE TO FIND THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE. (MADE A GREAT TV SERIES ASIDE FROM THE LET-DOWN CGI CREATURE. SORRY. THAT WAS BAD THOUGH.)

BUT ONE THING THE SERIES HAD OVER AND ABOVE THE BOOK WAS THE SPEECH, THE LANGUAGE.

YOU SEE, I’M OLD. AND I HAD GRANDPARENTS BORN IN THE 1800′S. AND I SPOKE ABOUT SO MANY THINGS WITH THEM. I LOVED TO SIT AND LISTEN TO THEM TALK OF THEIR LIVES, BECAUSE TO ME, IT WAS ANOTHER FORM OF ESCAPISM AND BECAUSE THEY LED FASCINATING LIVES.

SO I *KNOW* HOW PEOPLE OF THE TIME PERIOD IN THE TERROR SPOKE. I *KNOW* THE LIKELIHOOD OF UMPTEEN “FUCKINGS” AND “HIS PR*CK HARDENED* WAS UNLIKELY TO HAVE BEEN UTTERED....

AND THANKFULLY, THE SERIES LEFT IT OUT.

ASIDE FROM THAT, HE WROTE A GOOD NOVEL, WELL RESEARCHED REGARDING MARITIME HISTORY AND THE ACTUAL EVENTS.

WHY IS IT THAT BOOKS, LIKE ALMOST EVERY FILM NOW, IS SO FULL OF NOTHING BUT SWEARING? WHY IS THAT, THAT IT’S BECOME THE NORM TO HEAR IT IN EVERYDAY LANGUAGE WHEN THE WORD “FUCK” ITSELF MEANS NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE COMPARED TO WHAT IT USED TO MEAN?

IT SEEMS TO JUST FILL OUT A SENTENCE, IT SEEMS TO ROLL OFF THE TONGUE ALONG WITH “C*NT” AND OTHER WORDS AND THEY BRING NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, TO EITHER FILM SCRIPT OR BOOK.

(UNLESS YOU’RE READING “TRAINSPOTTING” OR THE LIKE. THEN EXPECT IT)

GEORGE R R MARTIN’S GREAT UNFINISHED (NON) LEGACY, “GAME OF THRONES”. SOMEBODY SHOULD COUNT THE “FUCKS” IN THAT. (FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, I LOVED THE SHOW, BUT THEN I’VE ALSO STILL TO WATCH THE LAST SEASON AND FROM WHAT I READ I’M WONDERING IF I SHOULD) BUT I REMEMBER WAY BACK, DECADES AGO, READING HIS “DYING OF THE LIGHT” AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE BOOK IMMEDIATELY. GIVE IT A CHANCE. IT’S FAR DIFFERENT FROM GAME OF THRONES.

I LOVE BOOKS, DID I MENTION THAT? BOOKSHELVES FULL OF THEM LIKE COMFORT BLANKETS FOR THE COTTAGE WALLS. MOST OF THEM ARE OLD BUT THE MODERN ONES I HAVE, I’VE HAD TO HUNT DOWN AND MAKE SURE THERE’S A STORY THAT HASN’T BEEN DONE A HUNDRED TIMES BEFORE (WE CAN ONLY SUFFER SO MANY SPARKLY VAMPIRE STORIES) AND THAT HAS ACTUAL...WORDS...IN IT THAT MEAN THINGS. NOT JUST PEOPLE SWEARING AT ONE ANOTHER BEFORE THEY HUMP.

A STORY WITH LANGUAGE.

COME TO THAT, I WISH SOMEONE WOULD GIVE SCRIPTWRITERS A GOOD KICK UP THE BACKSIDE TOO AND GET *THEM* TO WRITE ACTUAL SCRIPTS WITH LANGUAGE....BUT I SUPPOSE THAT’S TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR.

FINALLY, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE J K ROWLING FANS, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, I HAVEN’T SEEN “HARRY POTTER” NOR READ THE BOOKS.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS, *STOP* CALLING HER SCOTTISH!

SHE’S ENGLISH BORN AND BRED. SHE WENT TO SCOTLAND TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE FREE EDUCATION SYSTEM, AS SO MANY DO. IT REPAID HER WELL.

SO WELL SHE FELT ENABLED TO STICK HER TUPPENCE WORTH INTO THE LAST SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE REFERENDUM BY TELLING HER MANY FANS TO VOTE “NO” TO FREEDOM FOR SCOTLAND.

BITCH.

AYE, I SWORE. BAD ME....

LAST TIME I HEARD, SHE’D CHANGED HER MIND. POINT IS, SOMEONE WHO LIVES A WHILE IN SCOTLAND ON A FREE EDUCATION SYSTEM, MAKES A FORTUNE ON THE BACK OF IT, THEN RETURNS TO ENGLAND AND FROM THERE, DICTATES WHAT SCOTS SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT DO WITH THEIR COUNTRY *IS* A TOTAL BITCH.

SO ENJOY HER FANTASIES BY ALL MEANS. BUT DON’T PRETEND THE PERSON BEHIND THE WRITING IS ANYONE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT.

WELL, END OF, NOT A RANT, JUST A FEW OBSERVATIONS REALLY.

I TOO AM A WRITER. NON FICTION FOR NOW. BOOK WILL BE OUT NEXT YEAR. I WON’T MENTION HERE WHAT IT IS BECAUSE TUMBLR IS A YOUNGER FOLKS PLACE SO I KNOW IT WOULDN’T BE ANYONE’S FLASK OF UISGE BEATHA.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MIND. YOU NEVER GET RID OF IT ONCE IT’S IN THERE. AND IF ALL YOU’RE READING IS SWEARING AND BONKING, YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON *SO* MANY BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, IMMERSIVE STORIES THAT DRAW YOU TRULY INTO THEM TO THE POINT YOU FEEL LIKE A CHARACTER WITHIN THE TALE. AND THAT YOU’RE HAPPY TO BE THERE.

AND AGAIN, BECAUSE I SEE THIS A LOT..FOR THOSE OF YOU CALLING J K ROWLING SCOTS, PLEASE QUIT. SHE’S ENGLISH. SHE WROTE HER FIRST BOOKS IN SCOTLAND, AYE. ON THE BACK OF THAT FREE EDUCATION. BUT SHE IS NO SCOT.

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[quakerjoe]

50 years ago today, a photograph was taken that would reframe how we humans saw our planet. As I reflect on the year that’s been, I am thinking of all the news reports on the damage being inflicted on our fragile Earth.

---

There is an image you’ve probably seen of a bright marble set against complete blackness. The marble sits in a shadow. It is mostly blue and swirling white, with a hint of green and brown. In the foreground of the photograph is a swath of barren gray. This picture is considered one of the most iconic images in human history. It altered our sense of ourselves as a species and the place we call home, because that marble is our planet seen from the vastness of space, and the gray horizon we see in the foreground is the moon. The photograph has a name: Earthrise.

The image was captured by astronaut William Anders of Apollo 8 on the first manned mission to orbit the lunar sphere, and the photograph can be seen as a mirror image for every vision humans had ever experienced up to that point. From before the dawn of history, our ancestors looked up in the night sky and saw a brilliant moon, often in shadow. But in that moment on Apollo 8, three men from our planet looked back and saw all the rest of us on a small disk with oceans, clouds, and continents.

This image, so peaceful and yet so breathtaking, was taken at the end of a turbulent year. It was Christmas Eve 1968, but from up there you would never know that a hot war was raging in Vietnam or that a Cold War was dividing Europe. You wouldn’t know of the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or Bobby Kennedy. From that distance, people are invisible, and so are cities, countries, and national boundaries. All that separates us ethnically, culturally, politically, and spiritually is absent from the image. What we see is one fragile planet making its way across the vastness of space.

There was something about that photograph that struck deep into the souls of many people about our place in the heavens, and a year later it appeared on a postage stamp (six cents at the time) with the caption “In the beginning God . . .” The photograph is also widely credited with galvanizing a movement to protect our planet. Over the course of the 1960s, people increasingly spoke of a Spaceship Earth, a notion eloquently voiced by United States ambassador Adlai Stevenson in a speech he gave to the United Nations in 1965. “We travel together, passengers on a little space ship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air and soil; all committed for our safety to its security and peace; preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work, and, I will say, the love we give our fragile craft.” With the Earthrise photograph, suddenly Spaceship Earth was no longer a metaphor. It was there for all of us to see.

The 1960s and 1970s were times of such social upheaval that the environmental movement is often overlooked. But real action was happening. In 1962, Rachel Carson, a trained marine biologist, published one of the most important books in American history, Silent Spring. It focused on the dangers of synthetic pesticides like DDT, showing how these chemicals could insidiously enter an ecosystem and wreak unintended havoc on the health of a wide range of animals, including humans. The book hit like a thunderclap. The reaction from the chemical industry was fierce and unrelenting, but the public uproar was even more substantial.

The moral weight of Carson’s argument changed the equation for how we measured our actions; the health of the earth became part of the discussion. That book contributed to the rising pressure on government officials to act to protect our planet, and in 1970 we saw both the founding of the Environmental Protection Agency (signed into law by President Richard Nixon) and the first Earth Day (organized by Wisconsin’s Democratic senator Gaylord Nelson). The year also saw an important expansion of the Clean Air Act (first passed in 1963). The Clean Water Act would come in 1972. The environment was now an important national priority, and support for it was bipartisan.

For all the talk of Spaceship Earth and Earth Day, however, there was a belief at the time that environmentalism was a series of local battles. When it came to air and water pollution, we worried about the health of the smog over Los Angeles and the chemical runoff into the Hudson River. Over time, we saw environmental threats become more regional, with acid rain and the depletion of the ozone layer. It was hard to imagine, though, that we could harm the planet on a global scale. But all the while, ever since the start of the industrial revolution, an odorless and invisible pollutant was being pumped into our atmosphere with increasing volume — from our tailpipes, smokestacks, and the clear-cutting of forests. We now know that carbon dioxide and the resulting climate change is a threat of a magnitude unlike anything we have ever seen before. Those are the stakes we face today.

In the summer of 2007, I traveled 450 miles north of the Arctic Circle to the Canadian tundra to report on a development that was shocking for any student of history. For centuries, famed explorers had searched for a shipping route from Europe to Asia through the frigid north. It was dubbed the Northwest Passage, and it proved to be a deadly and illusory dream, as many ships and men went in to never return. So when my colleagues and I heard reports that melting sea ice was possibly unlocking the passage, we set about to document the dramatic climate change at the end of the earth. Some of my crew spent days aboard a Canadian Coast Guard research icebreaker, and I met them in the Inuit village of Arctic Bay, population about 700 hardy souls.

What both the scientists and the local inhabitants understood was that a world of ice was undergoing rapid and unpredictable change. I remember taking a walk along a rocky shoreline with an elderly Inuit woman, who pointed at the open water and explained how, even in the summer, it had once been largely ice. She talked of seal pelts that were not as thick because of the warmer water and her worries that her people’s way of life was in danger of being irrevocably lost. Meanwhile, on the research boat, scientists were rushing to understand how this changing climate was affecting marine life and whether they could find clues to the arctic environment of the past by dredging the bottom of the sea.

It is an awesome realization that Earth, which has always seemed boundless, is so susceptible to the negative byproducts of human activity. Perhaps that is what makes it difficult for some to accept climate change. As we walk through nature, it seems so robust and permanent. And for the vast majority of the history of our species, we did not have the power to destroy the planet.

But if you look back to the beginning of the environmental movement, you will see that it sprang from a dawning realization of how damaging humans could be. In the late nineteenth century, the mighty bison of the American West, estimated to once have numbered in the tens of millions, were slaughtered over just a few decades to the brink of extinction. Hunting parties would shoot indiscriminately from train windows as sport, leaving thousands of carcasses to rot in the sun. A seemingly limitless resource suddenly was on the verge of disappearing. By then, a growing spirit of naturalism was capturing the nation’s attention, personified by writers like Henry David Thoreau. And leading citizens in the United States, men with political power like Theodore Roosevelt, decided to act.

They formed conservation clubs that began to have an effect on the federal government. Yellowstone National Park, considered the first national park in the world, was founded in 1872. Yosemite was added in 1890. A movement had been born. But meanwhile, a very different revolution had begun half a world away. The first modern internal combustion engine was built in the 1870s, and in 1886 German engineer Karl Benz patented the first motorcar. Over the ensuing century and decades, as the environmental movement grew in its scope and importance, Earth was getting sicker.

None of this was known when I was growing up. The Texas economy of my youth was literally being fueled by oil, and there seemed to be nothing incompatible with black gold and the health of the wide world outside my door. Some of my earliest memories were of running through the wild meadow that bordered my neighborhood on the outskirts of Houston, looking at bugs, lizards, and, it being Texas, a lot of snakes. There was a creek a little farther out, and when I was young, my mother made it known to me that it was a boundary I dare not cross. Beyond the creek lay deep woods, and as I grew older, I was allowed to wander alone beneath the strong oaks and towering pines, turned loose in nature. In the midst of the woods was the Buffalo Bayou, and I learned how to swim in its languid waters. In truth, the bayou had already been polluted by the oil refineries and chemical plants around Houston. But we boys, frolicking in the water, didn’t know that. We were living out our fantasies of being latter-day Tom Sawyers and Huck Finns.

In that great meadow and the forest beyond, the world seemed exciting and alive. It was teeming with rabbits, squirrels, and the occasional coyote. There were birds in the skies and all those snakes on the ground. Most were harmless, but there were poisonous ones as well — rattlesnakes, water moccasins, coral snakes, and the spreading adder, what we called the “spreadin’ adder.” My mother worried about snakes, but she knew that they were part of the Lone Star way of life. You had to be alert, knowledgeable, careful, and a bit lucky — just like in life.

My father was the kind of hunter who believed that you shouldn’t hunt something you don’t know a lot about, and he instilled in me a deep respect for the natural world. As we walked together on warm summer evenings, his hunting rifle in hand, he would explain the life cycle of rabbits and that the best place to find squirrels was where the “hardwoods met the pine trees,” because squirrels liked the height of the pine trees and the nuts of the hardwoods. Whether this was provable from scientific study, or even whether someone has ever chosen to study such a thing, I do not know. But it was the kind of wisdom that came from a lifetime of observation, and nature tends to make all of us open our eyes and think.

My father also believed that you ate what you killed, and so my mother had a number of recipes that fit both rabbit and squirrel interchangeably. Sometimes we just ate the meat broiled with a side of sliced tomatoes or homemade pickles. Other times it was stewed. More often, it was fried. It might not sound like much, but it was pretty good. My father would also usually get a couple of deer during the hunting season, which was the legal limit. We would eat every bit that was edible, and that could take quite a while. Dad was terrific with a shotgun, so we spent many a time cleaning, then eating, ducks and quail.

In the nature around my house I learned life lessons — an overworked phrase, I grant you, but an apt one. When I was nine years old, my friends and I came across a giant softshell turtle in the Buffalo Bayou. It was the biggest one we had ever seen, and we spent the entire day tracking it. After many foiled attempts, we finally snared it, bound it up, and walked back the mile or so to my parents’ house. We filled a tub with water in the backyard and put it in. We felt like conquering heroes, but that only lasted until my father came home from work. When he saw what we had done, he was furious and explained to me how such behavior could harm a wild animal like this turtle. Even though it was after dark, he insisted that I carry the turtle back to where we’d found it. Now, this wasn’t the equivalent of a valiant effort to save an endangered species, but my father’s instinct was the same: Nature was not there for us to exploit or toy with. It is a lesson I have never forgotten.

Going into the forest with my dad was a backdrop to my young life. It was just what people did. I was expected to be able to identify the species of trees and to know how to avoid getting lost. Nature wasn’t something that you drove to, or planned on seeing, or for which you bought a fancy outdoor wardrobe. I worry that now it is an activity that must compete with soccer practices, homework, piano lessons, and all the other responsibilities that fill up the calendar of a family with children. All those are surely wonderful and rewarding, but so too is just letting your legs wander through the trees and meadows, and having your mind wander as well.

Today most of us encounter few animals and plants in our daily lives, and most of what we do see are either the ones we have domesticated or the vermin and weeds that can thrive in the cracks of modernity. Growing up I was enthralled by the night sky. But now most of us can see only a few faint stars at night, the ones bright enough to make it through the domes of light that enclose our metropolises. For all of human history, the night sky told stories, delineated time, and guided voyagers. Now 30 percent of the people on the planet can’t even see the Milky Way from their homes. And in the United States, 80 percent of us can’t.

We as a nation have done much to exploit the land, despoil it, and pollute it. From wildlife to wildfires, we have been shortsighted in our management. For too long the cost of doing business ignored the cost of that business to the environment. Still, we have been world leaders in conservation, preservation, and environmentalism. And that is what makes this moment in time so baffling and worrisome. Somehow the environment has become yet another point of contention between Democrats and Republicans. It is striking that those who live in urban centers and are more isolated from the natural world tend to vote for Democratic candidates who mostly favor stricter environmental regulations. Meanwhile, those in rural areas tend to vote for Republican candidates who more often advocate for laxer oversight of land, water, and pollution. I am not exactly sure how this came to be. Some of it likely has to do with the coarsening of dialogue between the two major parties on almost every issue, and ultimately the environment gets sorted along those binary lines as well. Research also suggests that those states whose economies are built on oil, gas, coal, and mining tend to be less likely to support environmental regulations, and understandably so. But whatever the cause, it is important to note that these political and social divides over the environment were not always this way.

It was an odd experience watching the heated debate as a cap and trade bill for carbon dioxide emissions and climate change made its way through Congress in 2009. The opposition from Republicans was fierce, with only a handful voting for final passage in the House of Representatives. Dozens of Democrats in conservative districts also voted against the bill. In the end, the legislation barely passed the House and was never even brought up in the Senate. And yet the very idea of cap and trade as a way to deal with environmental problems, where you set limits and allow polluters to trade in credits, had been the brainchild of Republicans. President Ronald Reagan had used cap and trade to phase out lead in gasoline, and President George H. W. Bush had used it to cut the pollutants causing acid rain.

When I sat down recently with George Shultz, who had served as secretary of state under President Reagan, he spoke with pride of the Republican legacy on the environment, stretching back to President Theodore Roosevelt. Secretary Shultz has become a vocal advocate for protecting the planet against climate change, and he reminded me that major environmental progress — from the founding of the EPA to tackling the ozone and acid rain problems, to strengthening clean water and air acts — had happened under Republican administrations.

Questions of the environment boil down to acts of leadership. Most people would say that they want clean air and water. The concerns that you hear about pitting economic growth against environmental protections are legitimate; we need a balanced approach. Our modern lives require that we mine, till, fish, generate electricity, and discard refuse. We will never return to some mythic state of environmental purity. Nor would we want to. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be wiser about how we use our limited resources and protect our planet. I believe that if there was leadership on this issue in both political parties, the American people would rally to action.

We humans seem to have a hard time measuring risk. We can see the dangers in the moment, but threats that stretch over the course of generations are hard for us to judge, let alone act to remedy. Climate change is just such a problem. Even though we already see very worrisome fluctuations in Earth’s functions — extreme weather, vanishing sea ice, rising temperatures, and rising oceans — the most dire effects will not strike with full force until well after I am gone. We can hide from the truth for now, but it will not last. In my interview with Secretary Shultz, he described climate change as a clear and present danger even if many of his fellow Republicans do not see it that way. I asked him how he felt about this state of affairs. He said those who deny climate change now will ultimately be “mugged by reality.” Mugged by reality. It is a strong phrase. The danger is that when the climate deniers are finally mugged, it will be, by definition, too late. Already we are seeing the glaciers melt in Greenland and massive ice sheets breaking off Antarctica.

Often I find myself thinking back to my boyhood out in the forests and meadows and how those experiences spurred in me a love of our natural world. One of the joys of my later life has been the summer days I spend in quiet contentment fishing in the upper Beaverkill River in the Catskill mountain range of western New York State. My eyes are mostly focused on the action in the stream, watching the currents and eddies, casting flies, looking for trout willing to bite. But I often glance up to contemplate the flora and fauna of the riverbank — particularly the birch trees that are rooted just on the edge of the water. They favor the embankments in many northern climes, and sometimes, as I take in the scene, an old African American spiritual comes to mind. I begin singing slowly, “Just like a tree planted by the water, I shall not be moved. I shall not be, I shall not be moved. . . .” The hymn may say I shall not be moved, but I often am, in that strange and mystical way engaging in nature often moves us.

There is an elegance to birches, tall and slender, with their distinctive white bark. I’ve always liked them because my long-departed mother loved them so. Born, raised, and buried on the semitropical Texas Gulf Coast, she never saw a live birch, only pictures in a book. Mother’s favorite tree, however, was the native magnolia, which flourishes all along the Texas Gulf Coast and adjacent piney woods. She loved their strength and the fragrance of their large white blossoms. That scent permeating and enveloping in the heavy humidity of Texas nights is among the fondest memories of my childhood. I smell it often, even when a magnolia is nowhere in sight.

I like to sit out there on the river for a long while, and take a deep breath and close my eyes. Nature doesn’t please only our sense of sight. I can hear the soothing sounds of running water and swaying leaves in the background. Nature has the power to inspire one’s mind and move one’s soul like great music or poetry. It can fill you with humility when you encounter the otherworldliness of the Grand Canyon. It can fill you with awe when you tilt your head back and try to tease out the top of a towering redwood. It can spark your imagination as you try to visualize a time when the entire continent was as wild as Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. And it can fill you with sadness when you see how much the glaciers in Glacier National Park are receding. What are we doing? What have we done?

I am an optimist by nature, and I believe we can find a will to save the planet. We have a strong and growing environmental sensibility in this country and around the world — especially among the young. But there are hurdles, not the least of which come from many of our elected officials. We have seen the undue influence of big money from the fossil fuel industry, along with their allies in government, actively undermine climate science. We have seen crises like what has taken place in Flint, Michigan, call into question our national commitment to equal access to clean water and air. To the countless generations yet to be born, what world will we leave for them? We have seen that we can make progress and repair damage to the environment. But now, when it is needed with an urgency we haven’t really seen before, we are blinking. How can we open our eyes once again to the notion of a fragile planet, our only home?

Apollo 8 was on its fourth pass around the moon when the commander, Frank Borman, initiated a scheduled roll of the spacecraft. On the audio recordings, you can hear William Anders, who was the lunar module’s pilot, react to a sight no human had ever seen before: “Oh my God! Look at that picture over there! There’s the earth coming up. Wow, is that pretty.” Anders called out to the third crew member, Jim Lovell, asking if he had color film. There was a scramble inside the spacecraft to get the picture taken before it was too late. They got their shot.

The astronauts were not looking for Earth when they went on their mission. The space historian Andrew Chaikin said Anders told him later, “We were trained to go to the moon. We were focused on the moon, observing the moon, studying the moon, and the earth was not really in our thoughts until it popped up above that horizon.” We need this vision of a unified and cohesive Earth to pop up once again over the horizon of our global complacency. We need to consider, with awe and humility, the future of our fragile home.

- Dan Rather

(Above is the "Environment" essay from my book What Unites Us)

[a-h-arts]

Timothy Brook, "Vermeer's Hat" Of course it's not really about Vermeer's hat--or Vermeer's fruit bowl or the two sturdy ships moored together at the right edge of Vermeer's "View of Delft." The subtitle gives it away: "Dawn of the Global World." That's what it's about; the other things are objects in the paintings, props or, as Brook likes to call them, the "doors" that open up in the paintings and let their confined domesticity escape into the outer world and the fresh air of innovation and discovery flow back in, rather like the window that partially frames the hat in the painting. We don't expect detailed art history from this book; Timothy Brook is not an art historian but a distinguished historian of China and Shaw Chair of Chinese Studies at Oxford University. It is as such that he approaches the material; a historian of Europe or of Western Art would have viewed the international cultural and commercial exchanges he analyzes as European exports to the global community, whereas Brook tends to view them more as imports from Europe. Finally, of course, it is interactivity that makes of globalization a two-way street, as symbolized by that open window and all the other open windows and doors in seventeenth-century Dutch painting. So, in a sense, the book IS about Vermeer's art after all; the presence of the hat, bowl, and other "doors" in the pictures is a result of the Dutch Republic's central position in that process of globalization and indicate the source of the enormous commercial wealth that was its foundation. Without that position, Vermeer's paintings would not have been Vermeer's paintings, because his world would not have been what it was. There is not a lot of hard-core art history here, but after reading this book, we will no longer be able to look at the Frick's "Officer and Laughing Girl" naively, i.e., without knowing that the man's wonderful hat was made possible only because Samuel Champlain was just then trying to find a Northwest Passage and able to finance his explorations by sending tons of beaver pelts back to Europe. And those are not just generic "boats"; they are herring busses manufactured for herring fishing in the North Sea, moored here in Delft for refitting or repair, and thus appropriate symbols of the maritime origins of Dutch prosperity (and the fortuitous nature of all commercial prosperity)-- for if the most generally calamitous event of the seventeenth century, the so-called "Little Ice Age" of 1550 -1700, had not caused extensive freeze-up of the Norwegian coastline, and pushed the traditional base of the herring fishery south to Baltic waters controlled by the Dutch, that little windfall might not have developed into the financial foundation of a bourgeoisie sufficiently prosperous to afford fashionable hats and the paintings of them. The book is filled with unexpected insights and suggestions like that, and as they are quite imaginatively and indelibly presented, they should henceforth inform our viewing of these paintings. Go to Amazon

Vermeer's Hat This is a great read. I love old maps, and an old celestial globe I have seen at the Australian Maritime Museum, and Vermeer features maps and navigational aids in several paintings. Climate change is mentioned.. sending the herring south to the North Sea where the Dutch used science and maths to do things with wind power. They weren't held back by religious constraints. The rise and rise of the Dutch could be a blue print for a developing country. Dutch affluence was based on Navigation. Vermeer's paintings are used as a portal into other issues.. cleverly. Some chapters were not so interesting to me, but Timothy Brook makes broad comparisons across the globe, not just Europe... ie Blue and white ceramics in China and in Delft in Holland. As a scuba diver travelling to Indonesia this joins a lot of dots for me as I travel to the Spice Islands and to the VOC headquarters on the island of Banda. Also read Deadmen's Silver about Dutch ship wrecks on the West Australian Coast. Go to Amazon

The title is not quite what it might be [I wish the work had been called something more like Vermeer's Netherlands meets the Orient or perhaps something similar, but a bit more advertising-like.] Go to Amazon

A Hat, a Chinese Bowl, Tobacco - History! I'm very interested in Art History, so I purchased Vermeer's Hat in the expectation that it was all about art. I soon found out that it is actually a history book, brilliantly tied to various paintings by Vermeer. You look at the painting of the cavalier in the beaver hat. BOOM! You're transported to the encounter between Champlain and North American Indians - it's all about the fur trade that provided the beaver furs that were sent to Europe to make hats for people like the cavalier in the painting. And so it continues - How did iconic blue and white china make its way from China to Delft - and subsequently get copied to create Delftware? It's all about the opening of global trade in the 17th century and it's fascinating. LOVE IT! Go to Amazon

A novel take on history Had to buy the Kindle version as I needed to read it quickly, before a book club meeting. I was a bit worried by the reviewers who said that the whole premise of the book was to look behind the paintings of Vermeer, for which it was natural to have to have a copy of the painting in question to look at, but that the Kindle edition didn't include the illustrations from the paper edition. However, I was pleased to find that when I got my download there were in fact pictures of all the paintings being discussed; OK, they were rather small and in grey-scale, and I ended up going online to look at good coloured copies, but at least I knew I'd found the right thing. Hence my 4- star rating, the book iself is a very interesting take on narrative history, showing aspects of trade development and world affairs from a new and different perspective. Well worth reading if you're interested in how societies develop and interact. However, if you're not in a tearing hurry to read it I suspect the plates in the paper edition are easier to refer to and it's worth choosing that even if you have to wait for it to be delivered. Go to Amazon

Amazing book. No art in a book about an artist?! (Kindle) Consider the entire title The book is fine, however Five Stars Great Four Stars Five Stars A Valuable and Enjoyable Book Five Stars

[alicescripts]

Part 2, Chapter 2: Mouth of the Water

First the dogs will bark. They’ll know before any of us. Then I will have six to fifteen minutes.

I’ve been taking long walks on this coast, just north of the Oregon border. Bald eagles, actual bald eagles, sitting on a wide sandy beach, and I’m the only one here to see it. I can’t see anyone else in either direction. Waves repeating themselves at the tideline, clouds of birds fluttering up and resetting. 10 to 30 seconds after the dogs start barking, the ground will shake. 6 to 15 minutes later, the tsunami will come.

An earthquake is due here, and afterward the tsunami inevitable. If I began running when the dogs started barking, could I make it to the grassy dunes and up to the hills?

No. I can see the root, can make any plan I want, but I couldn’t outrun the wave. Six to fifteen minutes after the dogs started barking I would die. That’s what would happen.

No one in sight in any direction. Birds at the tideline, actual fucking bald eagles.

I finished my walk still alive. When what’s coming for me finally comes, there will be no warning.

[theme song]

Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink. Performed by Jasika Nicole, produced by Disparition.

Cape Disappointment. As picturesque piece of land as you’re going to find in this world. Northwest forest overlooking the point where the gray ocean, all froth and wave, and the mouth of the Columbia River, tranquil and turquoise, meet. A dangerous place for boats. Up on the cliffs above, the coast guard keep constant watch from a lighthouse.

I went up there, stood near their lookout. A panorama where so many have floundered, so many have died. But for now, just a beautiful view of the ocean.

The coast guard officer came out of the station, stood next to me in the railing. She closed her eyes, let the wind sweeping in off the river and the wind coming down the coast fight with each other in her hair. She was beautiful, is maybe why I talked to her. Or maybe it had been a long time since I talked to anyone except myself. Monologues broadcast to a wife who is out fighting a fight that I’m still trying to understand.

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching the boats?” I said. I meant it like a joke, but I think it came out like a reprimand. She opened her eyes, glanced at me. “No traffic right now,” she said. “I think it’ll be safe for me to take a second of fresh air, but don’t tell my bosses down the hill. They have different ideas about safety.” 

“[chuckles] Always do, I said. I’m Keisha.” 

“Laurel.” 

“Not Officer something?” I asked. 

“[scoffs] Yeah, Officer Something,” she said. “But for you, Laurel.”

A pressure in my chest that could have been pain or could have been laughter. It had been so long since I had flirted, or felt the fleeting pleasure of the five-minute crush. “What about that boat there?” I said. “Seems like you’re derelicting your duties, Laurel.”

There was a boat, medium-sized, tiny in comparison to the mighty cargo ships that come and go through this passage. It was painted black and sitting motionless near the mouth of the river. As soon as I pointed it out, I wished I hadn’t. There was a wrongness to it that didn’t belong to a spring afternoon’s flirtation.

Laurel didn’t look at the boat or at me. Any friendliness that had been in her face, or that I had imagined in her face, was gone.“I’m not supposed to talk while on duty, Ma’am,” she said. “Excuse me.” She went back into the station, slamming the door. [chuckle] I haven’t lost my touch, Alice!

We have a problem as a society. Our goal is efficiency, but the result of efficiency by definition is that it takes less work to get things done. And less work to get things done means there is less work to do. If there is less work, there are less jobs. Progress destroys jobs.

Another result of efficiency is an explosion in population. The easier things get, the less of us die. More and more of us, less and less jobs.

This place was named by a fur trader who stopped here and failed to discover the Columbia River around the corner. And so this little piece of coast line heaven is Cape Disappointment. There’s this one beach on an inlet tucked away from the main trail. I had to go down a path that was more a controlled fall than path. The water was shallow and clear, the sharp blue of a tropical sea in a postcard. There were people living in tents on that semi-hidden beach. I watched them play with their dogs. The dogs swam way out into the inlet. I wanted to swim too but the water, for all its tropical appearance, was freezing.

When I went back to where I had parked, a buck came out of the woods and crossed the road right in front of me. Slow, leisurely, unafraid. Later I went up north a bit, to a place that billed itself as a free museum, but was more of a gift shop with some stuff stuck to its walls. Jackalopes and two-headed calves and the like. Old coin-operated stuff. A coin-operated execution. You put in your quarter and the minute your castle doors opened, a priest read last rites, the prisoner was hung, and a black flag rose over the castle walls. I paid to see it twice.

They had a body they built as an alligator man. I think it’s an actual corpse’s head stuck on the body of an alligator which is… Well, it’s something. They had it in a glass case, next to a T-shirt rack. For a quarter I could get a penny smashed with its image. I didn’t.

I bought a Piña Colada flavored saltwater taffy. While I was buying it, I asked the guy behind the counter about the boat I had seen. I don’t know why, but the reaction of Laurel made me curious. He frowned. “Not many people ask about that boat,” he said. “Tourists don’t stick around long enough to notice it. Locals know enough not to talk about it. That’ll be 3.99.” “Why don’t locals talk about it?” I asked. What, I was gonna be friends with this guy? Either he’d tell me or he wouldn’t. He looked past me to the next customer. [monotonous voice] “It’s been in the same spot for three decades now,” he said. “Don’t seem to be anchored, just unaffected by currents. Holds its position. No one is ever seen onboard. People who ask questions about it learn that they shouldn’t. I need to help the next person in life.” “OK,” I said, wondering why I had bought saltwater taffy. The taste is disappointing, the texture’s garbage. “Thanks!” and I left the free museum with my four-dollar shitty candy.

Down the street was an arcade called Fun Land, but I took to pronouncing it Funland, like Iceland. I spent an afternoon playing skee ball. I’m looking for a vacation from this endless search for answers, and here on a sliver of land on the coast of Washington, I think I’ve found it. Can’t last long though. I can’t live forever in Funland. I can’t live forever period.

Humanity’s drive toward betterment has resulted in two things: more people and less jobs. None of our choices were wrong, exactly. Each was made with good intentions, hell maybe every choice was correct. The problem wasn’t the choices but the values. Survival is no longer a value, because survival has become easy. It used to be old people were revered, because they had outrun death longer than anyone else. Now old people are just the ones who waited around too long. Anyone can become an old person with a little luck. It’s not a collapse of morals that has diminished our respect for the elderly. It’s an inevitable response to the changing meaning of age.

I ate Indian food down in Astoria, a lunch buffet. As I was eating, a woman came in looking for me. I didn’t recognize her at first out of uniform, but it was Laurel. She sat across from me. I felt the faint pang of a passing afternoon’s crush. Without a greeting, she held out her phone to me. A photo of a middle-aged man, bushy silver mustache, arm in arm with a teenage boy. “That’s my brother Bobby,” Laurel said. “And that’s his son, my nephew Evan.” “Ah, OK,” I said. This seemed like a strange conversation, but I lost my ability to judge strangeness somewhere around Texas. “Bobby was obsessed with the black boat,” she said. “Spent hours watching it, said he never saw anything on board, then one day he did.” “What did he see?” I asked. “Wouldn’t tell anyone. Rented a kayak in Navy Heights and went out into the mouth of the river. Said he had no choice and he had to get to that boat. Wouldn’t listen to anyone telling him different, wouldn’t let anyone come with him. We lost sight of his kayak - don’t know how, it was broad daylight. There and then gone. Never found any kind of body.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “This is a country of the vanished, of the missing. We’ve got a lot of space to put them, I guess. Then his kid Evan, he gets obsessed with the idea that the black boat took his father somehow. We tried to get him interested in other things, put him through therapy, stuff like that but it doesn’t take. The answer to his pain is in that boat, and so he goes to the same place as his father, rents the same kind of kayak, takes the same kind of journey.” I knew the ending to the story. “How long has he been missing? “I asked. “It was a year three weeks ago,” she said. “You seem like a nice woman. Hm. Maybe in a different life, you know? Maybe in a kinder world, but I like you enough to tell you this: forget you ever saw the black boat. Never ask about it again, it’s not a mystery to solve. It’s a depth to drown in.” She held my eyes for a moment more and then left me to my lunch, which I had no more appetite for. That all you can eat buffet got a good deal on me.

I knew exactly what that black boat was. A supernatural oddity stealing innocent people? It was a Thistle boat. There were Thistle men onboard. And so tired, lost me, I would have to stop them.

Out to Cape Disappointment with binoculars from the truck. Went up on a ridge above the trail to the lighthouse and I looked out at the Thistle boat. I knew what I would see. Sagging face, yellow teeth, yellow hat, “Thistle”. The boat had no name, no markings. Every surface was painted black. I watched for a long while, but there was no movement on the deck, nothing in the windows. It seemed truly abandoned except that it stayed in position against the current. I put down the binoculars considering my next move.

And that’s when I noticed something on the deck, even with my naked eyes from this distance. Dots of various colors. They hadn’t been there a moment ago. I looked back through the binoculars. The entire deck was covered in people. They were all facing me, looking right back at me through the lenses. I was too far away for anyone to see me against the hillside. They saw me.

They weren’t Thistle men. They were people. Women, men, mouths open, dull eyes. Some of them are dressed in clothes that could only have been worn without irony in the 80’s. others wearing clothes that could have been worn without vintage cool in the 70’s. there was a man with a bushy silver mustache. I could taste the horror on my gum line. Bobby, slack-jawed. Bobby, staring. And a gangly teenager, Evan, across the deck from Bobby. Nowhere near him, same expression. Both staring back at me as I stared at them.

I put the binoculars away. I stepped back down onto the trail and descended toward the parking lot. This was not a Thistle boat. That’s not what Thistle does to people. This is some other horror, unrelated to whatever I’ve been chasing.

I have enough terror in my life. I can’t add more. [scoffs] A boat that eats people. It will have to be a story without me. I am leaving.

Since we no longer value survival and age, we need some other way to rank people. Because we need that, we need some people to be worth more than others. We have many ways to do that, but here’s one: we value wealth. The ones who own more are better. Not for any reason, just because. And since theoretically but rarely actually in practice, the way toward owning more is work, work has become a measure of someone’s value, second only to money. A lazy rich person is better than a poor person with a good job, but a poor person with a job is better than a poor person without a job. Ranked first by wealth, then by worth. And so that is the situation. There are more of us, there are less jobs, and we value people by whether they have a job or not.

What happens when you have a world where it is impossible for people to create value for themselves in the eyes of society? What happens when we judge people for the inevitable outcome of our collective actions? I don’t know. But together we’re finding out.

Driving back over to Astoria. The long bridge across the mouth of the Columbia River. Starting out it’s a causeway right on the water. Seagulls flying overhead, riding the same wind that’s nudging my trailer toward tragedy. Once you drive out under the bridge, you can’t turn around for four miles until you’re back on land. Which is fine, which is normal. But also I feel the anxiety. Being trapped on a course, no alternatives except the disaster of water. The bridge rises steeply, creating a section that the cargo ships can pass under. This is uncomfortable in a truck this size, the engine roaring against the weight behind it. And now break lights. We’re stopping. Construction, traffic going in one way only, we have to wait our turn.

I’m on a slope so steep that I’m looking at clouds in order to see the car in front of me. It’s less that they’re in front of me and more that they’re suspended above me. [sighs] Breathe. Your anxiety does not change your circumstances. You can get as anxious as you want, the world will stay the same. [breathes deeply] It doesn’t help that just the turn of the head puts the black boat in my view. No one on board again, those empty faces gone. Or not gone, but not visible to me. I must always remember that not visible to me and not in existence are not the same thing. That would be a good thing for all of us to remember, I guess.

Here’s a cargo ship coming. Modern, a tiny control center dwarfed by the vast expanse it controls. The kind of ship that crosses oceans. Huh. The ship is gonna pass really close to the black boat. It might even.. that’s gonna be a near one. It’s going to.. oh my god, hold on.

I’m on the highway to Portland now. Logging depots, gas stations with stalls outside selling fresh fruit picked nearby. The great cargo ship collided with the black boat. I gout out of the truck, went to the side of the bridge to watch. A lot of people did. We were stopped anyway. We were standing on this steep slope that swayed with the wind and jittered with the movement of traffic in the other direction. Flimsy, like we were all perched on the thinnest branch at the top of the tallest tree. I covered my mouth, anxiety kindling into horror.

The ship didn’t slow. Didn’t see the other boat maybe? Or-or a miscalculation, an error? God knows there are plenty of those.

The ship cut through the center of the black boat and the black boat turned up on its side and then tore in half. The force must have made a gash in the hull of the larger ship because it sagged forward in the water, like a person falling to her knees, and then listed sideways. This might have taken a while. We all may have stood there a long while. One of the containers on the bigger ship wasn’t secured correctly. It toppled off the deck. The black boat settled under the water, a slow disappearing act. I never saw anyone on board the entire time.

The police got us back into our vehicles, got traffic moving. Coast guard boats rashed to the collision, rescued the crew of the bigger ship, but there was no sign of anyone from the other boat. They reported that initial sweeps found no sign of its wreckage under the water. I don’t suspect they’ll ever find that wreckage. I don’t suspect they’ll look too hard.

There once was a black boat on a wide blue river. The only people onboard were the people who had asked the dangerous question. And one day, it sunk and was never seen again. It’s a simple story, a story with no ending. The kind of story that happens every day in this country.

Vacation over, I guess. Back to asking my own dangerous questions. Back to receiving my own dangerous answers.

-- Knock knock. [left speaker] Who’s there? [right speaker] No one. [left] No one who? [right] No, no one is here. It’s been quiet out here for a long time. Once there were people, I think but they moved on. Why haven’t you moved on? [left] If no one’s here then who is talking? [right] No one is. [left] No one’s talking? [right] Yes. [left] OK. [right] OK. [left] I love you. [right] I know.

[pinoy-culture]

hello! meron ka bang complete/accurate list of all the deities from the tagalog and bisayan pantheon? Also, i'm sorry if this question has been asked before ngayon ko lang nahanap blog mo and i'm only now really getting into ph mythology :)

Hi @saetr3noora​. I made one before though I don’t remember which blog I posted it in, this one, or my blog on reviving our old beliefs, practices, and on our general mythologies and folklore at @diwatahan​. Also its an old list that needed to be updated and corrected so I guess it gives me an opportunity to make another one. :)

But here is my complete list on them based on historical research, not modern takes on it. This list is from my notes for my book I am still currently writing and researching for. Any modern deities from recent stories such as Lidaga, Lihangin, Lisuga, etc. are not included on this list as there is not one mention of them in any of the oldest dictionaries or in any historical record accept in the 1900′s particularly during the U.S. colonial period and after and thus based on historical research, they weren’t traditionally worshiped. However this doesn’t mean they aren’t deities as some may just be but never mentioned in historical texts and only known orally, but for the purpose of listing all the deities that were believed and worshiped prior to the Spaniards I have excluded them from the list. I try to put info on each deity as much as possible based on what was written on them but there are a few who are only briefly mentioned in passing either with just the name of the deity alone or the name and the attribute they were known for.

Also note there are other Bisayan deities not listed here that are known to the Sulod of Panay island with the exception of Laon Sina/Alunsina as she was a prominent goddess known throughout the Bisayas. The deities known by the Sulod may possibly be deities that were known by the other ethnic groups in the West Bisayas and elsewhere in the region under different names locally but I have not looked into that intensively and done enough research on that subject so I have left those deities out of this list.

This is a pretty long list so I have cut it off here for those who don’t want to scroll so much on their dash. To read the entire list just press keep reading. 

Anyway I hope this helps all those who are interested in our mythologies and folklore, whether from mere curiosity, for the sake of creating art, or to actually join the movement of reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices to the modern day.

Bisayan Pantheon

Laon - The goddess of agriculture, harvests, time, creation, & of Mt. Kanlaon.

She is one of the deities that was worshiped by the ancient Bisayans prior to the arrival of Catholicism. Known by many other names from the various Bisayan ethnic groups, such as Kanlaon, Malaon, Lalahon, Raom, Laon Sina, & Alunsina, she was identified as the Supreme deity among many of the Bisayan groups and had carved images of her usually made of wood as mentioned in a passage in a Jesuit letter from 1609 of one such image found in Bohol. In Francisco Alcina’s works from 1668, who is widely known as the major contributor of information on pre-colonial Bisayans, he mentions Laon as being called Malaon and says that she was the creator of all things and was known as “the ancient one” for no one knew how and when she came to be. In the Boxer Codex it is mentioned that Laon under the name Malaon was in the Bisayan creation myth as one of the original deities alongside Magwayen (Kaptan in this version was left out unlike other sources where he was mentioned). She was also known as “one who disposes everything and renders everything equal” based on another name she was called by some groups such as the Bisayans of Ibabao, known as Makapatag. From this she was equated to the equality of the divine justice and she was called by this name when she unleashed her punishments to those who have done wrong.

Badadadam - The god of wealth, happiness, & the afterlife.

A god from Samar, Badadadam, or Badadum is the god who governed the world creating wealth and happiness. His name means “happy one who gave fertility and happiness.” He was also known by and called Makaobus, whose name meant “without having an end”. He was the lord of the underworld and was able to foresee the end of all things in this world. He lived on a very high mountain that served as a watch tower from which he inspected everything. When he wished to kill someone because his time was done or for other purposes, he sent Tawa, the “executioner”. Tawa killed everyone, people drowning by his hands, not just those who died by water, but in their own homes. He is the one who governs the world and knows when one dies. He calls all the relatives and tells them so and so died and they can go forth and receive them in Saad. They all took their spears and Kalasag in the company of Badadum and went to the mouth of the river. There they waited for the dead person with a great feast and shouting. When the deceased arrived they took off the casket, longon, and Badadum asked if they were that certain person. On seeing them adorned with gold and other ornaments, Badadum acknowledged them as he doesn’t recognize those who don’t have gold and ornaments on them. This is why descendants put wealth (bahandi) in coffins. Badadum then tells the relatives that they can carry the dead person to the village of his father, Ayaoy, and to the house called Bariaas. (Alcina) He is more than likely the same deity referred to by the Cebuanos, Boholanos, and the people of Bantayan Island northwest of Cebu, known locally to them as Sisiburanen, who was the deity that took in all souls and brought them to a tall mountain in Borneo. (Miguel de Loarca)

Aman Dayari - Patron of wanderers, the homeless, & jobless. God of good fortune.

He is mentioned by Alcina as the “god of the lazy who do not work and went about as vagabonds”. At first glance while reading the text you think, god of laziness? But in closer inspection and diluting the biased negativity associated with the old deities by Christian missionaries, Aman Dayari isn’t the god of laziness but a god who was prayed to by those who were jobless and less fortunate in terms of living and in poverty. As you read further on into the passage of Aman Dayari, Alcina says that they covered the figures of him, ones carved out of the wood of the dapdap tree (Erythrina orientalis), in cloth and gold for good fortune. Now thinking in a logical sense, why would people pray to a god of laziness for good fortune? In his carved figures he was depicted as a god with one hand on his breast, the other covering his genitals.  

Magwayen - Primordial Goddess of the Sea & ferrywoman of the dead.

One of the primordial deities in Bisayan mythology, along with Kaptan, God of the Sky, who, in one version of the Bisayan creation myth, helped create the world and the first humans with Kaptan who she married. She is also a Goddess who brings all the souls of the dead to Sulad, a purgatory, by bringing them across a spiritual river called Lalangban on her boat, delivering them to Sumpoy, the God of the Underworld, before reaching the final resting place in Saad, land of the ancestors, where they are then brought to the God Sisiburanen (probably Badadum under a different name), who takes in all souls, good or bad, and brings them to Mt. Madyaa’s, the home of the gods, where the Visayans living in the coastal regions were believed to live out their afterlife or in a tall mountain in Borneo.

Kaptan/Makaptan - Primoridal God of the Sky, Creation & Death

Kaptan/Makaptan is one of the primordial and creator deities, along with the sea Goddess Magwayen, where he is the one who planted the seed that grew into a reed in which the first man and woman, Sikalak and Sikabay were born from. After being angered by Pandaguan, the youngest child and second son of Sikalak and Sikabay, in which he kills him by striking him with a thunderbolt that he created with Magwayen (according to Loarca & in the Boxer Codex it wasn’t just Kaptan but it was also Magwayen) when Pandaguan killed a shark, which was the first death in the world, and he blamed Kaptan and Magwayen for letting the shark die. When he is killed he is sent to Sulad however Kaptan along with Magwayen eventually feels pity for Pandaguan and revives him back after 30 days (this part of they myth explains why people don’t come back to life after they die).He is also seen as the god who brings disease to his descendants as punishment because he has never tasted the delights of food and drinks from earth. In another passage by Loarca in the same document as his passage on the creation story, he says that they (the Bisayans) believed that the world has no end. That Makaptan dwelled in the highest in the sky. They considered him a bad god because he sends disease and death among them, saying that because he has not eaten anything of this world, or drunk any pitarrillas, he does not love them, and so kills them. So you have two opposing forces that he is known for, creation and death.

Banwanun - God of the Forests

According to Francisco Alcina in his Historia de Las Islas e indios Visayas (1668) the Bisayans had a god who they paid reverence to after every hunt. This diwata was known as Banwanun whose name means “he who lives in the forests”. According to Alcina after every hunt they would build a little house in the forest which they called Pagiawa. This little house was tall and inside it they would put the first hog or other game they hunted and captured. This first catch they would never eat especially the head as this was given as an offering to Banwanun. Hunters, known as mangangayam, always gave their first kill in their hunt as an offering to him because if they didn’t they believed they would not be able to catch any game such as wild hogs and deer as Banwanun would prevent them from doing so as the “lord of the forest”.

Bakunawa - Serpent God Who Causes Eclipses

Bakunawa is a naga in Bisayan mythology who is seen as a gigantic sea serpent deity that lives under the sea. Bakunawa is described as having a mouth the size of a lake, a red tongue, whiskers, gills, small wires at its sides, and two sets of wings, one is large and ash-gray while the other is small and is found further down its body. There was a belief that instead of one moon there used to be 7 moons in the sky. Bakunawa fascinated by the beauty of the moons rose up from the sea and devoured 6 of the moons leaving one left. In order to save and protect the moon the people would try and scare the large serpent by making loud noises often using pots and pans. When an eclipse happened it was believed that Bakunawa was trying to devour the last remaining moon in which in every eclipse people would go out to try and scare the serpent.

Barangaw - God of the Rainbow

One of the 3 deities prayed to for success in war along with Makanduk and Ina Gunid. The rainbow was a gateway to the deities and in which those souls who were stabbed, eaten by crocodiles or pierced by arrows climbed and became deities themselves by dying honorable deaths.

Si Dapa - God of Life

A diwata who marked out the lifespan of a person on a very large, sacred tree on Mt. Madyaas where he resided, at the time of the persons birth. Once their stature reached that mark (it’s not really clear what is meant by this, whether physical stature or the soul itself) that person died.

Pandaki - Goddess of RedemptionThe diwata of redemption who either choose to save the souls from purgatory in Sulad to bring them to the land of the ancestors in Saad, or she would leave them there until those souls were redeemed. In the Diccionario de Mitologico de Filipinas by Fernando Blumentritt, (1895) Pandaki was also known as Pandaki Sita. He mentions that both names referred to the same deity. Under the Pandaki Sita entry he says that she was a bad god that brought dead souls to Sulad as punishment, the opposite of what he wrote of the entry under Pandaki and of what Loarca mentions. From this it is assumed that Pandaki was the one who decided the fates of the souls and where they would end up based on their deeds and of the maganito offerings given to the gods by the dead persons loved ones.

Ina Gunid/Inagunid/Naguinid- Goddess of War & Poison

Worshiped for success in war and plunder during raids as mentioned by Miguel de Loarca (1582), along with Barangaw & Makanduk. Was also invoked when concocting poisonous oils along with the deities Arapayan and Makbarubak.

Sumpoy/Simuran - God of Sulad (purgatory)

One of the gods of the afterlife. He is the one in charge of the souls in Sulad, which is a purgatory before the souls go to Saad. He is mentioned in the list by Miguel de Loarca.

Labaw Dumgug - God of Marriage

A local hero turned god. Was invoked in marriage and in songs. In Iloilo, Panay a rock that looked like a Bisayan rowing a boat with bamboo was believed to represent him.

Makabosog - God of HungerHe was the one who was kind and prayed to for food. In El Folklore Filipino by Isabelo de los Reyes, it’s mentioned that Makabosog was a principal deity worshiped by the people living along the Araut River (now known as the Dumangas River) in Iloilo, Panay island.

Dalikmata - Deity of Eye Ailments.

Not much is known on Dalikmata except that they were a deity invoked for eye ailments who had many eyes.

Linog - Goddess of Earthquakes

Linog was the goddess of earthquakes who in the Bisayan creation myth, gave consul to Sikalak and Sikabay to marry reassuring them that they would not be punished by the gods and that she would marry them herself as written in the Boxer Codex. According to Francisco Alcina, Linog was a goddess who caused earthquakes through the movement of her breasts that were very large. 

Tagabanua - God of the plains

Was known as Taguibanua by the Bukidnon of Mindanao. This deity is listed in the Diccionario de Mitologico by Blumentritt but I still haven’t found another historical source further explaining this deity and I am still doing research on them.

Arapayan & Makbarubak - Gods invoked for Poisons & Oils

According to Miguel de Loarca, there were 3 deities that were invoked when making poisons & different types of oils. They were Arapayan, Makbarubak, Naguinid, the same deity mentioned above who was also the deity invoked in war and battle. According to Loarca, they would give offerings of coconut oil and a crocodiles tooth while invoking the 3 deities

Makanduk/Malanduk - God of war and plunder

Another deity that is only briefly mentioned as one of the 3 deities invoked in time of war. Not much else is known on this god other than the short passage by Miguel de Loarca.

Makabantog - God of quarrels & drama

A god mentioned in the Diccionario de Mitologico that was the enemy of humankind who caused fights and arguments.

Tagalog Pantheon:

Bathala Maykapal - The supreme deity of the Tagalog.

His name means “creator of all things”. His messenger was the sacred omen bird Tigmamanukan, a blue and black bird that most scholars believe is the Philippine fairy blue bird. According to the Boxer Codex manuscript, the Tagalogs also called him by the name May-Ari/Molyari.

Ana Tala - The First Anito

According to Noceda-Sanclucar in the Vocabulario de la lengua tagala (1754), the entry for Ana Tala says it was the name of the first anito but there is nothing else after this little entry. In El Cristianismo en la Antigua Civilizacion Tagalo by Pedro A. Paterno (1892), Paterno says that Ana Tala was the child of Bathala and compared them to Jesus.

Aman Sinaya - Patron God of Fisherman.

The god who invented the art of fishing and was called upon by fishermen when casting their nets or preparing their fishhooks.

Lakan Bakod - God of Abundance

Lakan Bakod is known the anito of abundance, fences, and the fruits of the earth. In the Boxer Codex manuscript he is described through a carved wooden statue of him as having gold eyes, teeth, and a long, gilded penis the length of rice stalks. He was said to have resided in the plants used to create the fences constructed to protect the crops and fields from animals. Whenever they invoked him to pray for a good harvest and an abundance of food, they held a banquet and reveled in the fields under a canopy that they construct. Here they put up an altar where they place the wooden statue of Lakan Bakod and those participating in the maganito form a ring, dance, eat, and have a feast. The katalonans would then place some of the food offerings, eels being his primary food offering, in the mouth of the statue along with libations of drinks.

Lakan Pati/Lakapati - The Intersex Deity of Fertility

One of the most beloved deities in the Tagalog pantheon was Lakapati or Lakan Pati, “the giver of food”.  In Spanish records it is noted that Lakanpati had both features of a woman and man, using the old derogatory word, hermaphrodite. The name Lakapati comes from the Tagalog word “Lakan” which was a title for a noble ruler, the Tagalogs version of Rajah or Datu used in other parts of the Philippines, and “Pati”, which comes from Sanskrit and also is a title meaning master or lord of. During rituals and offerings in the fields and during the planting season farmers would hold a child up in the air while invoking Lakapati chanting directly to them, “Lakapati, pakanin mo yaring alipin mo, huwag mo gutumin.” (Translation: Lakapati, feed this servant who is yours, let them not be hungry). This chant was written down in the oldest Tagalog dictionary, Pedro de San Buenaventura’s Vocabulario de Lengua Tagala (1613). San Buenaventura also mentions that offerings were made to Lakapati in hut like chapels or oratories built on the fields to be protected under the term, balag. According to the Boxer Codex, Lakapati was also known as a fishing god. People would pray and give offerings to them so that they would be provided water for their crops. Whenever they went fishing out at sea they asked Lakapati for a good catch.

Lakan Bini/Lakabini/Lakambini- Goddess of Throat Ailments

Lakan Bini is listed as the “abogado de la garganta” in the older Tagalog dictionaries such as the one by San Buenaventura, meaning “advocate of the throat”. According to SB, Lakan Bini was invoked in “enfermedad”, diseases, of the throat. This most likely applies to any sickness involving the throat, such as strep throat, having a sore throat, etc. From this, Lakan Bini was a goddess prayed to for health. In the Diccionario de Mitologico, Blumentritt says that she may have been the wife of Lakan Pati according to Dr. Pardo de Tavera, a Filipino physician and historian, but there is no further evidence of this in other sources. In El Cristianismo en la Antigua Civilizacion Tagalo by Pedro A. Paterno (1892), he mentions that she was the goddess of purity and modesty, but only to use as an example of Christianity in the Philippines and relating it to the Christian mythos. This has caused the misconception of her being a goddess of purity. Her name literally means “noble lady”.

Aman Ikabli - Patron God of Hunters.

Most commonly mistaked as an angry god of the sea, in every source that mentions him, from the oldest dictionary the Vocabulario de Lengua Tagala by San Buenaventura to the Boxer Codex, Aman Ikabli was not the god of the sea but referred to as “abogado de los cazadores”, the god of hunting and the patron god of hunters. In the Boxer Codex it mentions that the Tagalogs worshiped him to help provide game such as deer and wild boars.

Diyan Masalanta - Goddess of lovers and childbirth.

She is mentioned as being the goddess of lovers, sex, & childbirth by Juan de Plasencia. Her name however loosely translates to be destroyed. As the goddess of love and childbirth, it makes you wonder why her name means to be destroyed.

Mankukutod - God of Coconut Trees & Patron God of Tuba Tappers

Mankukutod was mentioned by San Buenaventura as the “abogado de los manunubas”, patron god of tuba tappers. If tuba tappers failed to make offerings to him before climbing a tree, they risked falling from it.

Uwinan Sana - God of the fields and forests.

Those going into forests acknowledged him or they were regarded as trespassers. In the Boxer Codex, it says that people would ask permission to enter his domains, asking him not to cause them any harm while in the fields and forests

Haik - God of the Sea

Haik was known to the Tagalogs as the anito of the sea. According to the Boxer Codex, in maganitos performed in his honor they asked for his protection whenever they traveled by the sea from tempests and storms. They also prayed to him for good weather and favorable calm winds.

Linga - A phallic and fertility god.

Linga was a phallic god known for fertility and for curing diseases. He was also known to cause illnesses if he wasn’t giving offerings. His fertility festival is now celebrated in the Christianized Kasilonawan dance ritual in the Obando fertility rites.

Tala - The morning star

Tala was the morning star, Venus. According to Juan de Plasencia, Tala was one of the stars worshiped along with Mapulon (who they saw as Pleiades) and Balatik (the constellation Orion)

Mapulon - God of seasons

Mapulon was the god of the changing of the seasons and was seen in the stars as the star cluster Pleiades.

Idiyanale - the goddess of husbandry

Idiyanale was listed by Juan de Plasencia as the goddess who overlooked all activities of raising crops and animals.

Meylupa - Crow God of the Earth

According to Francisco Colon in his Labor Evangelica (1663), he mentions Meylupa as a crow god and “the master or lord of the earth/soil”. In the passage he compares Meylupa to the gods Ceres and Pan.

Laho - Naga God who Caused Eclipses.

This naga deity was believed to devour the moon and sun, causing solar and lunar eclipses. People would scare Laho away by playing loud music and banging pots and gongs to free the sun and moon from the god. He is the Tagalog version of the Bisayans Bakunawa. Laho is believed to have been influenced and introduced to the Tagalog through the Hindu god, Rahu, who is also a serpent deity who caused eclipses by eating the sun.

Bitbit - God who cured illness

This deity, like the god Linga, was prayed to cure the sick according to San Buenaventura in the oldest Tagalog dictionary . For failing to greet the deity and give offerings it was believed he would cause illness.

Lakan Daytan - unknown

A very unknown deity. Their name is mentioned in a few dictionaries, in the Diccionario de Mitologico, and in El Folklore Filipino, but who this anito was I have not been able to determine from my readings only that they were a Tagalog deity.

Mánusia - unknown

Another obscure anito mentioned in the Diccionario de Mitologico.

Lakan Balingasay - unknown

Another very unknown deity that was compared by Father Oliver in 1590 to Beelzebub in his preaching in Batangas.

[allbeendonebefore]

lets liveblog episode 2 of story of us which so far has been blasted by both Nova Scotia and now Quebec. cant wait to get to western history in spite of myself xDD

im so pained by this intro they are using ‘key’ which was the key word of the american version and they are playing up the whole OUR GREATEST RESOURCE... OUR RESOURCES. TRULY STRONG AND FREE.

new brunswick hallo

is this the aroostook war

please tell me they are going to try to make this bar fight out to be a nation building event ok phew it is not the war

“if he cant do the thing... he will lose hundreds of thousands of todays dollars’ this is like the least risky sounding thing ever the way they say it

‘everybody came to canada looking for something... vast potential’ ‘tHEY HAD TO DREAM AS BIG AS THE COUNTRY’

‘the settlers said the same thing their eyes went wide open and they said ‘my gosh’’ im crying so hard

they are doing the DRAMATIC ZOOM INS on BLACK POWDER im laughing

[music intensifies]

todays canadians dont understand Grit

‘they do not find life overwhelming’ as a millenial, i-

wow a non white person amazing

george washington’s lackey is here they are going to have a showdown

this is so goddamn canadian “THE AMERICANS INSTIGATE AN AGRESSIVE TAKEOVER” “idk about you but i would have just said ok”

its eugene levy

their animation is improving

st john wahoo

bEYOND THE GREAT LAKES GET READY ONTARIO

oh yeah hudsons bay ohhh yeah north west company

the economic ENGINE of a BURGEONING nation

we’re already on the prairies wow

WE’RE IN ALBERTA ALREADY WHAT

HOW IS IT ALREADY 1802 WHAT THE???

they are trying to do the character shots and failing miserably like they dont even do the freeze frame they just shake it up a bit

buffalo can reach 65 mph a horse can reach 88 does this mean horses could timetravel

gun

the amount of time they mention growth and economy and resources and nation makes me feel like im in the middle of a harper speech

sideburns = 1812?

we’re in quebec again

are all the franco speakers just like?? sports pros or??

we’re back in 1793 again make up your Minds we are in trois rivieres now

the INDUSTRIALISATION OF A NATION

entrepreneurs are Different from everyone else they See the Future

our greateSt challenge SURVIVING THE WINTER

ITS RICK MERCER I AM REVIVED BRING HIM BACK LET HIM NARRATE THIS

a franco who is not a sports star amazing

he is making an AIR TIGHT STOVE to SAVE CANADIANS IN THE WINTER

the market might not liek it

[sensually runs his hand along the metal]

the pristine englishman is the True Entrepreneur while the dirt covered francophones labour away... the englishman rubs his brow with sWeat and Stress despite having done nothing but wander around the forge looking at things and occasionally writing things down, trying to see over his Neck Ruff

he sensually rubs the stove again

the CANADA... STOVe like it wasnt even a full pause it was just long enough to be awkward

wow hamilton and fort mac what breathtaking views literally p:

god finally Take Me Back West

AN EPIC QUEST

its northwest passage time which means its VANCOUVER ISLAND TIME sexy

[FLASH] [GREEN FILTER]

god this guy is 22 and chief of nootka sound what have i done

king of kings the xerxes of vancouver island

its james cook turn up the SLO MO

the Impact of their meeting [spash of canoes] WILL BE FELT AROUND THE WORLD

like why are we jumping around in time so much what is the theme exactly ive already forgotten since i dont have an american shouting PIONEERS in my ear every five minutes like what is this

my screen has just paused on a nfld tourism ad so i guess we are done

is that it

managed to replay the ad 3 times before i got any headway here

maquinna aint daunted by your stripey pants

‘i can only imagine what he must have felt when he held the first sea otter in his hand...... this isnt another beaver...’

maquinna watching the boats and looking pleased as they smash is my aesthetic

slo mo spanish guy with a long name vs george vancouver who will win I have No idea

maquinna teaches himself english and spanish i have done nothing

The HBC and the NWC WANT IT

but the friggin Mountains are in the Way

stop saying the word dream god

is this 

its alexander mackenzie ok i was hoping for the welsh guy whose name escapes me David Thompson that guy

look at those sexy mountains mmm peace river oh yeah

he has perfect teeth

he screams

RICK IS BACK hes gone

‘i cant leave a house without my phone let alone tackling a mountain’ lets just talk down Soft Modern People some more

im very for constructing historical figures as enduring and heroic but can we do it without talking about some Golden age of Humanity when Men were Men please

no women so far this entire episode lol

they have a dog

fraser river hella

yeah still the gleaming anglo teeth of determination and the dirty franco rowers im seeing this trope that qc is upset about

bald guys speeches tire me out

THE FUR TRADE STRETCHES FROM EAST TO WEST

MY GOD... ITS PETER MANSBRIDGE

‘our people are our greatest resource’

looks like that is the end

i dunno this still seems kind of trite i dunnooo

looks like we are building up to 1812

im too drained to watch episode 3 i need a Rest

[nfl2sevensummits]

Randall Reeves: Inspiring others to do the impossible. Randall Reeves is the 1st person to circumnavigate the America's and Antartica in a figure 8 by himself in 2018. Incredible.

158: Randall Reeves: Singlehander Ocean Sailor known for his Figure 8 Voyage, talks about his experiences at sea circumnavigated the America and Antarctica,

Randall Reeves 

Find out what is involved in Randall Reeves’s goal to be the first person to circumnavigate the Americas and sail to Antarctica by himself in one year? “Imagine the globe, if you would, in your hand, and you are looking right down at San Francisco, Figure 8 Voyage is an attempt to sail from San Francisco all the way south, all the way to the bottom of the world, down to the bottom of South America, make a hard left, go all the way around Antarctica, back to South America again, all the way up the Atlantic, way, way up to the Arctic into what we call the NorthWest Passage, make hard left there, across the top of Canada, Alaska. And back home to San Francisco, about 40,000 miles in one year.”

  On this episode of Finding Your Summit Podcast, we talk with Randall Reeves, a Singlehander Ocean Sailor that is known for his Figure 8 Voyage. Randall discusses the trip that inspired his idea for the Figure 8 Voyage. “I invited my lovely wife down to LaPaz and talked to her about what it would be like to do this extra long voyage. How long would it take sweetheart? Well, it is going to take another year given distances and hurricane seasons. So, your one year voyage will become a 2-year voyage. Yes hunny, I’m afraid that’s what it is going to be. She thinks for a moment and says, well I think you should do that, which just shocked the hell out of me.”

  What You Will Learn:

  What was the Drake Passage like? “To sailors, Cape Horn is the Everest of sailing. It is, as you pointed out, the nastiest most difficult bit of water you can find. Part of the reason for that is that it is a very rugged and difficult piece of land sticking way, way, way down in the ocean, 56 degrees south. It is one of the furthest south pieces of land in Antarctica. Then Antarica has a large peninsula facing towards Cape Horn.”

How hard was it when he attempted his first Figure 8 Voyage? “I met my first really big storm, it was right off of Cape Horn. I was about 500 miles west and got into a gale that had 50 knot winds gusting 70. We did ok through most of the gale but the last part of the storm the boat got knocked down. So, in sailor terms a knockdown is when the boat gets knocked down all the way over, 180 degrees, mast in the water.” 

How do you get a boat upright again after a knock down? ‘Heavy displacement boats, they have a large keele made out of lead .There is a lot of weight underneath that hull, that white hull you can see above the water. The purpose of having all that weig., to keep the boat upright. So, t down there is to keep the boat stable. SO, a boat like mine, when it gets knocked over, it is a matter of seconds before it comes back upright again.”

Randall Reeves explains one of the big challenges of the Figure 8 Voyage. “One of the challenges of the Figure 8 is I’m trying to do the entire thing in the year. I’m trying to be in the southern parts of the world in the southern summer and the northern part of the world in the northern summer. So, in the southern summer that is the best time to be there and there is no getting through the Arctic in the winter because it is frozen solid.”  

What types of challenges did he experience sailing in Antarctica? “You are in a really alien environment. So, the oceans make up, what,  ⅔ of the planet? And you are in a part of the planet where the winds are high all of the time. The wind travels around Antarctica, west-east, it goes around and around and around the globe and it travels fast and it is cold. So, the seas are big. The air is cold. Everything you do is challenging.”  

  Witnessing Wildlife  

What has stood out to him during his voyages as just breathtaking beauty? “In the north, during the NorthWest Passage, you will see walruses and polar bears and a lot of the big animals that a lot of people talk about. But, I think one of the most incredible animals for me is, as I alluded to earlier, is seeing the albatross. One of the real breathtaking things about being in the southern ocean is that you are surrounded by wildlife all the time.”

  Life in the Seas

During this episode of Finding Your Summit Podcast, the talk with Randall Reeves also includes what is needed aboard his boat. “It took me about two years to find the right boat for the Figure 8 Voyage. The boat I had was 30 feet long, plenty strong, but not fast enough and not big enough to carry enough stores and spare parts. Not only do you have to have your own supply of food and water but you're in a hardware store as well. If anything breaks, and a lot of stuff is going to break, you have to fix it with what you have.” 

  Links to Additional Resources:

Mark Pattison: markpattisonnfl.com

Emilia’s Everest for the Epilepsy Foundation: markpattisonnfl.com/philanthropy-wb/

Randall Reeves social media: Twitter Facebook

The Figure 8 Voyage website: figure8voyage.com

Check out this episode!