#internet sleepover journaling party

[poetrex]

What's your favourite story that you never get a chance to tell?

I've been thinking about this lately. It's not that I never get a chance to tell this story, but I'm no longer in contact with anyone who could reminisce with me.

In April of 2001 I went with a few friends from high school on a trip to make a video documentary of the protest at the 3rd Summit of the Americas. I was on a grand adventure and a long bus ride to Québec City courtesy of Mob4Glob Toronto, for three days of protests and two nights accommodation on Université Laval's gym floor. We met a lot of very interesting people there and asked them a lot of questions about how to change the world. It was an eye-opening experience for a rather naive 18-year-old me.

It was also a lot of fun! The weather was unusually warm. During the day in the 'green zone', there was a carnival atmosphere—I spent a lot of time dancing and drumming on a water jug, learning new songs and chants in French and English.

At night and in the other zones, things got a bit crazy. Prominent protest organizers were dragged into vans by undercover police, notably Jaggi Singh, who was charged with possession of a deadly weapon that was actually a catapult built to hurl teddy-bears over the wall (pictured above). The whole point was that we came in peace to demand a seat at the table where the economic future of the western hemisphere was being negotiated in secret.

At some point on the second night, my friend K and I were under a highway overpass. 'Black bloc' activists were tearing up the wooden posts of the guardrails and adding them to a massive bonfire while riot cops marched in formation down the onramp. Tear gas, molotovs, the whole bit. I don't want to dwell too much on this imagery because it's used to paint the largely peaceful protests in a negative light, and most of the violence we saw came from the law enforcement side. I just want to set the scene for what happened next.

I sat down on the intact portion of guardrail to rest and drink some water. I turned to my right and saw a man who looked like a renaissance painting of Jesus, complete with a crown of actual thorns and woven sandals, but he was wearing regular clothes like ratty old jeans and a jacket. So I said, "Eh mec, es-tu Jésus?" (Hey man, are you Jesus?) and he smiled warmly and nodded with not a hint of guile, and I got really excited and said "K, K! I found Jesus!" and she came over and asked, like, what are you smoking and where can I get some? But I was stone-cold sober, just maybe a little dehydrated from all the dancing. I turned to introduce her but he was gone, which was odd because I only turned away a few seconds and the crowd there wasn't big, no place he could've ducked away.

Was he actually Jesus? Nah I don't believe in that stuff. Just a fun story. But I've felt very nostalgic for that moment, lately. I miss K, I'm sad we drifted apart after high school. It's hard not to romanticize everything against such a backdrop, but those were three of the best days of my life, and a lot of that was thanks to her. I guess that's the story I never got to tell.

[definegodliness]

Elemental tag game

I was tagged by the lovely @alexandraswritingblock

It was sweet getting to know you better through your answers, and this really is one of those lighthearted tag-games I love doing on Tumblr. Been a while! Apparently I have no aspirations haha, and I couldn’t bold “I always fear history repeating itself”, because it evidently does. Hmm. Maybe I should fear that, but to call it an aspiration?? anyway, onward:  

rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicise your aspirations, then @ tag other people.

Air

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

Fire

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

Water

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

Earth

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

Aether

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

--- My turn to tag! First of all chief Internet Sleepover Journaling Party @poetrex. Then, @wrote-you-a-poem because she was feeling nostalgic for a #twcreunion and this gives me another opportunity to bring this post to your attention. @cravingwitandwisdom, whom I haven’t bothered with a tag game in a while :p , @lorienfae who partook in my username / playlist game, and come to think of it so did @cruxymox! That makes 5, should be enough. Oh, and I tag you, yes, you! Reading this. Of course my tagging holds no power so there’s no obligation to partake, but you never know; could be fun.

[plotsandplansarchive]

High School Days

Never Have I Ever/Lady Bird inspired; Based on HS experience w/ Soundtrack from that era; Coming-of-age; 2009-2012 Soundtrack

Freshman | Sophomore | Junior | Senior

Quiet, smart and socially awkward teen navigates life as a HS in an all-girls Catholic school.

Events: FRESHMAN:

1st Day of HA

Meet new classmates and friends

_ is assigned to to show her around the new school; initially tries to avoid and make fun of

Being assigned as co director and being clueless w/ rival for first ever HS play

Gets left behind in Filipino skills and struggles with the subject

Tried to find the infamous Black Book at the library

Still being not good at swimming

Still suck at sports

Mistaken for being a math whiz bc aced a quiz bee where questions were already familiar and then was forced to join a math competition

Joined first ever inter school campus journalism workshop and rediscovers preschool friend and her ridiculously good life but finds out she's a bitch

Throwback to summer before freshman year of doing nothing but internet and online gaming and being persuaded by crush to join FB

Slowly loses connection with elementary friends and starts new group of friends

Frequents library, watches Glee, gets high scores in tests, has friend who's obsessed with Bieber

Interaction with street kids

Pet fair

First ever crush during intramurals

Decides to play scrabble for the nth time and ends up losing 4th individually but surprisingly 1st overall

Gets a serious crush on upperclassman during playfest

Taylor swift is often played bc relatable but not a fan SOPHOMORE

Reshuffling of class and group of friends is separated

Discovers Umbrella and becomes lunch hang out w/ friends

Starts to feel left out in new class and starts to feel depressed

Tries hand in Music and being minor charactsr during playfest

Gets a secret crush on group leader who happens to be super smart & really good at everything and is also unbelievably cool but finds out close

Drama with some classmates in the classroom

Overnight taize at school and other adventures

Notices close friend is trying hard to be a social climber and rest of group start talking about her bad attitude and how feels emotionally bullied almost everyday and they try planning an intervention JUNIOR

starts out school year surprisingly good with good social experiences

Decides to try out for play lead

Unexpectedly gets lead role despite protest from own adviser and friendship with _ who is opposite lead as Romeo & Juliet and things get awkward during ENTIRE playfest from practice to opening night

Bloopers during rehearsals and awkward practices w/ lead

Decides to try out for softball team

Family day night party

__ is separated from the rest of group and finds herself surrounded with a new cooler group of friends: old friends feel forgotten & replaced SENIOR

1 week before senior year starts manages to get chickenpox

Enters senior year super clueless and left behind in junior year

Gets assigned to advanced math with most of friends but feels out of place and felt like she was the dumbest one in class and unable to catch up

Applies to universities and manages to get in every one applied

Feels that She, , & _ are outcasts

3 day retreat

Prom date set up by another close friend and awkward prom experience

Discovers that 3 friends out of the 6/7 of them in freshman year would stick by each other

Struggle w/ cooking in home economics; singing Mulan while washing dishes instead

Becomes producer of inferior play and deals with Close friends become the directors and are being criticized by everyone in class for not doing a good job

Emotional series finale of iCarly

Last day of swimming miracle

First ever sleepover with 3 other close friends bc other 2 are out with their other groups

Last integrated play and sings HSM with __ backstage

First ever debut attended and intimidated by cool group

Finally graduation

Added:

* Moments throughout HS and it turns out _ was jealous that _ had forgotten about their group. Eventually leads to moments and they finally end up together

TikTok - freshman entrance

Hey Soul Sister - sophomore entrance

Waiting Outside the Lines/ Today My Life Begins - end of sophomore year

We Are Young - end of junior year

It's Time - senior year realization song

Daylight - end of senior year

----

❤️:

Crazier - freshman yr, first felt something while watching _ play this during school event

Next 2 You - junior yr; _ comes and motivates for her lead role

The One that Got Away - junior yr; realizes that __ has grown apart from them and has found new cooler friends

[thedappleddragon]

another twofer because I went to bed early yesterday

umm tbh I dont remember what I did? I know I played rhythm heaven and wasn't as good at it as I thought I would be but still eventually got all surpurbs. I tried looking up some stuff for an art project but I would need photoshop so :/ I'll have to find another way. I spent some time in my friend’s discord server which I discovered is mostly for her tiktok followers? because apparently she has a bit of a following. yeah she currently has 834 followers so good for her. played a little bit of Stardew valley and unlocked like 50 things at once because it was the fsecond day of winter right after completing the community center. I went to bed at like midnight for some reason and watched secret sleepover society (Jacob and Julia from drawee) play dagonrampa or however the FUCK its spelled. I dont care about the games but I already knew a little secondhand through internet and some stinky girl i sat next to for a semester of theatre who liked to draw and talk about fandoms instead of doing work. I hope she’s doing ok. 

valentines day!! it was very uneventful. texted some friends, didnt do a zoom call but hey maybe in the next few days. who knows. played more rhythm heaven and sucked ASS at lockstep. why is It so hard its not fair. then my dad asked if I wanted to go to half price books with my sister, and I said yes more to get out of the house and go to goodwill while we were out than going to the bookstore. I followed my sister around while my dad wore a gator instead of a normal mask because he’s a boomer who doesnt know how to keep a mask over his nose >:/ but afterwards we went to goodwill looking for stretchy flannel and I tried texting pictures to my friend but it overloaded my phone and her phone was dead anyway and I was overheating and tired so I bought one and left but its ok because that’s the one she liked anyway. then we picked up my sister’s friend’s dress because she wanted it hemmed and I did a DAMN GOOD JOB hemming it. pinned and ironed and steamed and pressed and everything. call me rarity cuz its the art of the dress, bitch >:) jk but I had fun with it and the only place where it didnt look quite perfect was in the back where my stitches jumped a little higher because I had to realign the foot to get the folds of fabric under. later I was laying in bed missing the idea of throwing a birthday party and having a platter of food and birthday cake and decorations, which reminded me of my webkinz Birthday Cake so I booted up webkinz after months of not playing. my full account expired so I adopted my new raccoon, Doom. They’re a rescue from my brother’s account, the one and only webkinz he had. I eventually plan on giving them either a possum or different raccoon girlfriend, idk which yet. prob raccoon since I can get a raccutie through pet medallions. so I played around for bit then got stuck on tikotxk for too long and new we’re here at 3 am. my goddamn cat won't stop jumping on my desk and trying to eat the rose my dad got me >:( I just had to get up and stop her from taking away the baby's breath accents. anyway I'll probably just watch some youtube and TRY not to get back on tiktok and go to sleep. I really wanna wash my hair tomorrow and make buckeyes with my dad like he said we would. I should also order fur within the next few days... also if anyone knows how the mass editor works I still need to learn how to d that so I can tag all my journals

[lawless-ladies]

Okay, so the about page on this blog has pretty much glitched out of existence despite all of my attempts to fix the coding.  I’m going to continue working on it so it can hopefully be saved, but for anybody missing the information, here are the stats for all of my muses under the cut...

List Of Muses

*****Molly “Ashen Molly” Agnes Schreiber

Faceclaim: Jill St. John

Age: 22 years old (same age as when she died)

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 6”

Weight: 123 lbs.

Hair Color: Light red

Eye Color: Hazel

Romantic Preference: Heteroromantic

Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Relationship status: Formerly in a relationship, now…it’s complicated.

Education: High school diploma and two years of college

Occupation: Live-in ghost, formerly one of the Riddler’s molls

Criminal Record: Impersonation of an officer, accomplice to attempted first degree-murder, torture, kidnapping and grand larceny; second-degree assault with a noxious substance

Vices: Drinking, stress-eating, and lying pathologically

Likes: Spy movies and novels, partying and clubbing, good drinks, swing and disco dancing, rich and expensive food (especially caviar and sushi), the 1920s and 1960s aesthetic, vintage covers of modern songs, Baz Luhrmann movies, motorbikes, scaring people who annoy her, Harper Row, Edward Nygma, her best friends Lydia and Mousey, messing with Batman, stories about women in crime

Dislikes: Being stranded in the Batcave, the Robins, catcallers, modern music, police and superhero brutality

Best qualities: Resourceful, assertive, clever, flirtatious, daring, loyal, fun-loving, passionate, shrewd, lively

Worst qualities: Amoral, sarcastic, duplicitous, manipulative, cynical, impatient, stubborn, petty, erratic, flighty, reckless, gluttonous

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Saggitarius

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ESFJ

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Evil

*****Lucy “Mousey” Esther Musgrave

Faceclaim: Susan Silo

Age: 20 years old

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 3”

Weight: 130 lbs.

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Brown

Romantic Preference: Heteroromantic

Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Relationship status: Single (but not for a lack of trying)

Education: GED and one year of college

Occupation: College journalism student and one of the Riddler’s molls

Criminal Record: Planting of explosives and deadly weapons, accomplice to kidnapping and attempted torture, grand larceny, shoplifting, breaking and entering

Vices: Yelling and blunt honesty at inappropriate times, underage drinking

Likes: Cute hats, snack foods, people watching, older men, animated movies, obscure art movies (so she can make fun of them), Edward Nygma, her surrogate mother Betsy, playing pranks, her best friends Molly, Pussycat, and the River Rat Gang, corner cafes and tourist shacks, pickpocketing rich tourists, key chains, novelty jewelry, Harry Potter, messing around on the Internet

Dislikes: Other people flirting with the Riddler, being ignored, being told she’s too young, childish people, boring people

Best qualities: Playful, jocular, flirtatious, incisive, fun-loving, eager, determined, adventurous, energetic, efficient

Worst qualities: Desperate, blunt, impulsive, hypocritical, overcompensating, tactless, childish, shameless, judgmental

Disorders: Attention deficit disorder

ZODIAC SIGN: Leo

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ESFP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Evil

*****Betsy Boldface

Faceclaim: Peggy Ann Garner

Age: 36

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 4”

Weight: 110 lbs.

Hair Color: Light blonde

Eye Color: Grey-blue

Romantic Preference: Biromantic

Sexual Preference: Asexual

Relationship status: In a relationship with Lorelei Circe

Education: Two years of high school

Occupation: Sportscaster and one of the Riddler’s molls

Criminal Record: Accomplice to kidnapping, brainwashing, murder, and torture; masquerading under false pretenses, shoplifting, gambling, match fixing, grand larceny, impersonating an officer, illegal transportation of animals

Vices: Drinking a little too much wine and whiskey, smoking, and gambling

Likes: Any kind of gambling, sportswear and athletic shoes, iced coffee, getting to know other criminals, exploring Gotham, roller skating, tennis, country western music, old radio dramas, online podcasts, attending Pride events, her honorary daughter Mousey, her girlfriend Lorelei (Siren), offering advice to other up-and-coming henchgirls, pulling scams

Dislikes: People making judgments about her or telling her how to dress, hints that Siren’s not being faithful, gender roles, overly-complicated orders, bullies, people yelling at her, cheaters, spies, black coffee

Best qualities: Athletic, cheeky, eager, helpful, adventurous, supportive, cunning, imaginative, diligent, creative

Worst qualities: Amoral, naïve, not very street smart, addicted (to gambling and smoking), hyperfocused, secretive, oblivious, deceitful

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Saggitarius

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ESTJ

MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

*****Leanira “Moth” Jessica Scott

Faceclaim: Linda Gaye Scott

Age: 24

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’7”

Weight: 135 lbs.

Hair Color: Light blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Romantic Preference: Demiromantic

Sexual Preference: Grey-Asexual

Relationship status: Single

Education: High school diploma and four years of online college

Occupation: Assistant social worker at Iron Heights Penitentiary, formerly one of the Riddler’s molls

Criminal Record: Accomplice to grand larceny and torture, transportation of explosives, breaking and entering

Vices: Hypochondria and fidgeting with her clothes

Likes: Old sci-fi shows, electric violin music, poetry, making her own clothes, travel magazines, foreign and Tim Burton movies, her aunt Terese, her best friend Anna, her cat Sasha, nice stationery, florist shops, Great Performances programs on PBS, romance and fairy tale books, learning new instruments, playing the piano and the ukulele

Dislikes: Walking alone, travelling at night, being called Moth by anyone except her family and friends, having her feelings belittled, anyone who reminds her of the Riddler, having things around her neck

Best qualities: Sweet-natured, kind, merciful, enthusiastic, creative, hardworking, friendly, fair-minded, sentimental

Worst qualities: Cowardly, overly-sensitive, panicky, squeamish, severely self-deprecating, timid, naïve, melancholic

Disorders: Anxiety and a mild form of depression

ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ISFP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good

*****Pauline Elizabeth Hazardstar

Faceclaim: Sherry Jackson

Age: 25 years old

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 4”

Weight: 116 lbs.

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Brown

Romantic Preference: Demiromantic

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Relationship status: Single

Education: High school diploma

Occupation: Actress, formerly one of the Riddler’s molls

Criminal Record: Accomplice to kidnapping, robbery,  torture, and first degree attempted murder; second degree assault with a noxious substance, theft, masquerading under false pretenses, disturbance of the peace

Vices: Smoking (is trying to quit)

Likes: Old movies, Gothic romance novels, the 1970s aesthetic, experimenting with makeup, exploring Gotham, visiting glamorous people and places, fancy perfume, morally ambiguous female characters, soft mood/glamor music, Shakespeare reimaginings, long and luxurious baths, bagel and pretzel stalls, ceramics, burlesque performances, dangerous people

Dislikes: Tight spaces, Autotuned music, jeans and synthetic clothes materials, her poor family (especially her philandering and lazy father), long and tedious rehearsals, pompous and charmless directors, disrespectful stagehands, cheap smells, the Batfamily

Best qualities: Ambitious, passionate, creative, imaginative, helpful, eager, intuitive, romantic, cunning, adventurous

Worst qualities: Resentful, elitist, hedonistic, impatient, hypocritical, overcompensating, stingy, insecure, overdramatic, restless

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ESTP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

*****Anna Marissa Gram

Faceclaim: Deanna Lund

Age: 24 years old

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 5”

Weight: 123 lbs.

Hair Color: Strawberry blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Romantic Preference: Heteroromantic

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Relationship status: Single

Education: High school diploma and three years of online college

Occupation: Model, cosmetology student, and delivery girl for the Gotham Dairymen’s League; formerly a criminal moll (specifically to a Riddler imposter)

Criminal Record: Accomplice to kidnapping, torture, grand larceny, and first degree attempted murder; masquerading under false pretenses, breaking and entering

Vices: None

Likes: Bright clothes and cozy lingerie that show off her figure, urban fantasy and Jane Austen novels, her best friends Lea (Moth), Kira, and Pussycat, reading in the bath, modern art museums, baking cupcakes and cheesecake shots, Wes Anderson and John Hughes movies, bowling, tea, painting and sketching, throwing sleepovers, the girls associated with the real Riddler, beating up anybody who crosses her, nail polish, dangly jewelry

Dislikes: The Riddler imposter she worked for, her job at the Dairymen’s League, being alone, back issues, thieves, being manhandled

Best qualities: Self-reliant, eager, fun-loving, adventurous, caring, supportive, creative, intelligent, accommodating, intuitive

Worst qualities: Aggressive, judgmental, obsessed, naïve, avoidant, restless, holds grudges, reckless, cynical, insecure

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: INTP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

*****Kelsie “Pussycat” Dinah Sheen

Faceclaim: Lesley Gore

Age: 23 years old

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 2”

Weight: 102 lbs.

Hair Color: Strawberry blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Romantic Preference: Biromantic

Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Relationship status: Dating her old friend Marlowe

Education: High school diploma

Occupation: Nightclub singer, formerly one of Catwoman’s molls

Criminal Record: First degree assault with a noxious substance, accomplice to brainwashing, grand larceny, second degree attempted murder, and torture; robbery, shoplifting, breaking and entering

Vices: None

Likes: Bowling, old-fashioned diners, singing and songwriting, drive-in movies, her hero-crush Catwoman, her friends Anna, Spade, Marlowe, and Templar, exploring Gotham’s nightlife, kittens, artsy photography, Pokemon, anything chocolate or malted milk, dangerous people, the 50s aesthetic, musicals, music videos

Dislikes: Dogs, being told she’s too young, being yelled at or told not to do something, bad food, scratchy fabrics, assumptions, most of the male rogues, Chief O’Hara

Best qualities: Passionate, creative, coy, persuasive, kind, curious, adventurous, motivated, fair-minded, nostalgic, cheery

Worst qualities: Naïve, easily persuaded, childish at times, overcompensating, superficial, skittish, hyperfocused, prying

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Libra

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ESFP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

*****Lorelei “Siren’ Circe

Faceclaim: Joan Collins

Age: 32 years old

Nationality: American

Race: Caucasian

Height: 5’ 6”

Weight: 115 lbs.

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Blue

Romantic Preference: Biromantic

Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Relationship status: In a relationship with Betsy Boldface

Education: High school diploma

Occupation: Nightclub and concert hall singer, active criminal

Criminal Record: Multiple counts of brainwashing, first- and second-degree murder, accomplice to game fixing and torture, grand larceny, assault, breaking and entering

Vices: Drinking

Likes: Singing, dangerous women of history, dancing, jewelry of any kind, Greek mythology, aquariums and grottos, manipulating anyone she thinks would either be amusing or useful to her, folk and classic music, classical architecture, long baths, harp playing, high class cocktails, record collecting, like-minded women

Dislikes: Cheap wine, modern music, boring people, most men, goody two-shoes women, naiveté, misinterpretations of myth and history, all of the Robins, smarmy people

Best qualities: Intelligent, ambitious, knowledgeable, savvy, flirtatious, incisive, assertive, determined, independent, elegant

Worst qualities: Amoral, disdainful, manipulative, monomaniacal, selfish, materialistic, reserved, detached, patronizing

Disorders: None

ZODIAC SIGN: Libra

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ENTJ

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Evil

*****Clarita “Chickadee” Gertrudes De Leon

Faceclaim: Grace Gaynor

Age: 25

Nationality: Cuban-American

Race: Latina

Height: 5’5”

Weight: 126 lbs.

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Brown

Romantic Preference: Panromantic

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Relationship status: Single

Education: Homeschooling for twelve years

Occupation: Iceberg Lounge waitress and weapons runner, accomplice to the Penguin, former leader of a bootleg cigar trade

Criminal Record: Illegal trafficking of untaxed goods, money laundering, assault and battery, accomplice to torture, first-degree attempted murder, kidnapping, forgery, disturbance of the peace, and assault with a deadly weapon; use of a weapon without the appropriate license

Vices: None

Likes: Burlesque performances, Spaghetti Western movies, people-watching in the Iceberg Lounge, making jokes and pranks, learning how to use the Penguin’s weapons, helping in illegal operations her brother Mateo (Matey Dee), her friends Anna and Mousey, dancing, her memories of her father, “Twin Peaks” and “Dark Shadows”, telenovelas, Disney parks and the urban legends surrounding them

Dislikes: Being told what to do, being called stupid, her weak ankles,

Best qualities: Cheerful, eager, helpful, jocular, fierce, vivacious, curious, fast learner, loyal, fearless, playful

Worst qualities: Impulsive, rash, not very street smart, irreverent, excitable, preoccupied, nosy, stubborn

Disorders: Dangerously weak ankles (result of a leg injury prior to her transportation to prison)

ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius

MYER-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR: ENFP

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil

[depressionkat-blog]

Friends?

So I just re-used an old tumblr blog to pen down my thoughts on depression. Actually, I am not sure if I even have depression. Would it be more comforting to be diagnosed with depression rather than to solve an unknown problem? 

So what is depressionkat? Maybe using the moniker depressionkat is bad, because that is self-labelling myself as depressed, and of course when you believe you are depressed, you start acting depressed. But whatever.

depressionkat (small d) is a cat who is kinda depressed. How did it even start? As a wee little kitten, depressionkat would lie in bed, pondering about the meaning of life. If all we ever feel is sadness and suffering, surely there must be a purpose. Would depressionkat be able to change the world? 

But depressionkat felt despondent about that hope. depressionkat felt sad and lonely most of the time. It didn’t help that momma and popa cat weren’t around very often, moma cat was busy working while popa cat didn’t even live in the same home... that is another story for another day. 

In school, depressionkat envied the others who seemed cheerful and smiley and pretty and had a lot of friends and had many wonderful hobbies. Of course ruminating about all of that did not help. depressionkat felt inferior in every aspect. Whenever depressionkat walked up to the mirror, depressionkat would think, why do I look so terrible with little shifty eyes and length awkward arms and rough fur everywhere, I don’t look like a proper cat, I don’t think anyone would want me. Sometimes the thoughts got so bad that depressionkat just cried, whether it stemmed from poor grades or feeling ugly or anything at all. It caused the class to call her ‘crybaby’. 

It’s not like depressionkat had no friends, depressionkat started a blog, a comic, and a storybook with a few of them, writing/drawing and passing them around class. It was one of the only times depressionkat felt that she truly felt at peace and belonged with the rest of them. She loved it when the classmates laughed and smiled and asked for more sequels and continuations. But that didn’t help her to feel that they were close friends at all. There were the times where there were birthday parties and she wasn’t invited. There were the times that the teacher orders the kids to line up in twos and she had no partner. There were the times where she didn’t know what to say exactly to make friends. There were the times she was sick and no one messaged her to ask how are you. Those times stung badly and again depressionkat was reminded that she had no true friend to stick with. The world is a lonely place to be in. 

Luckily, depressionkat was hardworking and fortunate enough to be in a family with adequate financial resources. The numerous tuitions and ‘learning camps’ and ‘enrichment’ helped depressionkat to adopt positive study habits and discipline. Even though depressionkat felt sad most of the time, she told herself to stop being sad or angry. Hence her results were pretty good, while not the best, it was always among the upper percentile. At least she was smart enough. 

To be fair, depressionkat wasn’t always sad. The times punctuated with happiness included: going over to the neighbours’ and playing video games, reading books, drawing and talking to self about a fantasy world, writing guides for Pokemon, neopets or any other online games depressionkat chanced upon. All these activities passed the time, allowing her to tide over the day and forgetting about sadness for a moment. The internet was a safe place, where no one could know how ugly or lonely she was in real life. Plus she felt proficient in using computers, as there was this class in primary school where the teacher would instruct the kids on how to use certain programs, and depressionkat would be one of the first few to finish the task at hand. 

When depressionkat was moving on to the next phase of education, she vowed that she had to become a new version of herself. The old depressionkat was gone. The new depressionkat was going to be popular, pretty, and smart. So she avoided going to the secondary school where most of her primary school friends had gone to, and went into one where everyone else was new. It was going to be a new start. 

Even though depressionkat had more friends, she still felt horrible. It was not what she had expected. Most of the times spent together was so routine and boring - just grabbing some Burger King, Starbucks or 7-11 Mashed Potatoes and Slurpee. Where were the sleepovers and actual fun activities, the things she saw on high-school movies? I guess it was ok, but I wish it could be better. I still felt the tinge of loneliness whenever the teacher asks us to line up in pairs, because the cliques tend to be in even numbers, I seemed to be the odd one out... not sure who to pair with. 

But overall it was better. She bonded with her new-found friends over nerdy things like anime, coding on blogskins.com, and of course blogging on blogger.com. The one thing she remembered fondly was the times rushing home from school to grind on maplestory with one of her friends, playing until the wee hours of night. In a span of one month of intense playing, she managed to level her character to 107. She even managed to get a certificate for high level of computer proficiency, as well as code Flash sites and MINDSTORM robots. That is so.. nerdy.

School was still pretty easy (ie. other than homework, there was still time to pursue mundane hobbies/time-wasting activities) so depressionkat managed to enter into a class with triple Science and Additional Mathematics. It was a bit sad because she had barely any old friends in her new class, but she re-assured herself that it was gonna be ok. 

That was when her life began to change drastically. She found an online community where lots of ah-lians and ah-bengs resided. Feeling lonely and craving for excitement in her nerdy life, she reached out to them and met up to play in the arcades and hang out, go to clubs and smoke. She quit her ‘nerdy cca’. And a lot of bad things happened then. 

There was this time where she was sending out a micro-tweetlike-message on the site. Suddenly she was meeting up some guy, who was her then ‘stead’s friend, at his place. It was her first time. His home was filled with foreign people like his aunties and what not. She didn’t know what to do. He offered her some respite in his room so she obliged. 

And then the bad thing happened. A game of ‘truth or dare’. The dare was... taking out of clothes. I don’t remember much of it, except intense crying and begging to let me out. Eventually the guy relented and I fled the block, ran to the bus-stop and continued crying, texting my ‘stead’ about what had just happened. My ‘stead’s gang walloped the guy (who was also part of their gang) for the gang no-no of ‘stealing yo girl’. 

That wasn’t the end of the drama and the bad company. But she felt popular. She felt wanted. She felt pretty with a little eyeliner on. She loved drinking because she felt good at it. There was the high and excitement in the life that she had craved. There was all the typical girl drama of getting boys, cheating on boys, getting found out, losing friends over getting found out, being sad and crying for days on end on the floor, wanting the boy back. 

At this point, depressionkat’s grades plummeted down and she almost could not be promoted, but miraculously scraped by. It was a harsh wakeup call. At this point depressionkat’s looks also started to become worse, the acne had flared up due to stress and aggravation from a malicious facial company. Her scalp became so unbearably oily. Stop being depressed over boys, your ‘O’ levels are next year and you’re failing almost everything other than English. No more boys, no more social media, just study. The daily routine became something like this: wake up and attend school plus extra classes from 6am to 4pm. Go for tuition from 6pm to 8pm. Do homework from 9 to 11 or even 12/1am. 

The efforts paid off eventually and depressionkat’s grades improved so much, that she got a ‘Most Improved!’ award from the school :’) She could go anywhere she wanted. What did she want? 

Perhaps writing? Maybe journalism. She loved writing so much (as you can tell from this really long post). 

Perhaps design? She loved drawing, and more so she discovered she loved digital design from the photoshop and html/css she did for school and her own personal hobbies.

With that regard, depressionkat’s goals was to enter a course for Mass Communication. She knew that course was perfect, she could write eloquently, she could dabble in web-design and collateral design, and maybe even DJ (not the remixing kind, but the ones in the radio station!)

But depressionkat soon got intrigued by psychology. Having such a (self-proclaimed) depressing past, she wanted to know what to do to get better. So she enrolled in psychology instead.

Bad move. 

(I will detail about this in a future post!) 

[dwdelaney-blog]

whispercampaign

https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneywhispercampaign/

whispercampaign –

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whispering_campaign

What dad and johnny involvement point out is not just hypocrisy, but unwillingness to tell me about untrue statements made about me, by them and others. That is, that such statements are intentionally misleading and are made in such a way as to make those behind the statements unaccountable for them.

whisper campaign things I have heard - weed t-shirt guy in spk - says i party too much - didn't party at all - suggesting marajuana usage - and that he knew me, both untrue

note esp zeman links to spi - and leonard links to zeman - xa costello - ed smith - ken gray - belleville caths - same diocese - xa stl bommaritio caths - smarjesse caths - spitzer and slu - cellini - and note spkattys site spkgop site and carlson and kaiser sites

Over the years I have heard people say things about me. Everyone does. I have heard some pretty strange things and I have had things done to me that I can’t explain: things that shouldn’t be happening to me.

brian cross gay frame - coll dems 1995 - overheard while in same room

GU law student/ T-shirt guy - at school function, claiming I had addiction issues, implying we were friends when I didn't know him

Spd officer in thornton gas station spreading addiction rumor to emps

Pedophile frame involving internet and infants from uis roommate and hanson emp

Gay rumors from uis roommate while obviously not gay and with girlfriend

Comment by john Pennell while at 11th  and s grand using the phrase “serial killer” regarding a claim of homicidal threats by me  

heard about arson frame - ingrum - from someone else

heard about cocaine frame - hall - from someone

heard about shg trophies from someone else

heard about dog poisoning from someone else

and note generally - pain associated with specific times, ie. 4:20, 9:11 etc. and see pain associated with particular and auditory visual cues, ie red trucks, fire dept t-shirts - This isn't just my imagination. I've tried to keep notes of what has been happening around me for years and I still can't believe it. It's not coincidence because, often, just prior to an incident of pain, people do things to get my attention, ie loud exhaust, clearing one's throat, a particular noise or gesture, etc.

this has been going on a long time - a really long time - note esp uis roomate gay rumor while having a sleepover girlfriend, not just harmless mistake, things said to recruit people to harass me with chemical agents - pesticides - xa vigilantism - arson - addiction frame - homicidal threats frame - pedophilia - homosexuality - see items specifically plead in county complaint in 2006 at "docs" site

I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve this – recently heard that maneuver enhancement brigade just likes to harass me as some kind of sport - find this difficult to believe - note old special ops guy is gone after lincoln cab post and kinzinger reference, however

I think a lot of the misinfo comes from people on computers claiming to be me. That's tough to prove. I think it's like the old political ploy of using a fake letterhead or stolen campaign stationery. It's all false attribution. I stand behind what I say. Everything I say has my name written all over it.

addiction – constant eye irritants – sleep deprivation - weed shirt guy comment – note esp usccb link – spritzer in stl – and spk – h&k reps usccb – note esp skylstadt timeline – see also mom as addiction frame cover – caths link - see "caths" site

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneystfrancis

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyzeman

arson – English – ingrum

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyenglish

radicalization – eastern philosophy – sd loft – vala – sci – h&k –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneypattern

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyeckufcwperrin

addiction – mcfadden job – parking cars –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneymcfadden

and see gop ilga – wojcicki and shg – and uis links – lrscis

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneywojcicki

xa – lrscis – Albanese consulting – albx –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyalbx

gay – brian cross – coll dems – reinhart

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneygayrumorsbad

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneycollege

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyreinhart

psychological – generally –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneypsychological

pedophile – mohanty – hanson – pecori – 95 roomate –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneypecori

pecori was longtime prez of ierc

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyierc

homicidal threats frame – Pennell – uss Copeland – and in tx – monty and dallas arson frame – xa galv – deps – and see sites “texas” and “Galveston”

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneypasfield

talon – frame – airport – 183 security – redpath – xa royer as cifa – 233 – see also talon frame as specifically plead in county complaint at “docs” site – talon frame generally athttp://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneywalnut

royer as cifa – royer 233 – 333 – he is 233 cmdr – and cifa guy for spi – linked to cellini hotel

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaney333mp

continues out of state – Galveston - homicidal threats – tx – dallas arson –pennell - natl guard – dod - galv – usarec

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneygalveston

out of state - tx - tx security guards - paragon security – courthouse – LRS also has biz in tx – and hanson

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneycourthouse

xa ciber does port security in so tx –

http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyspringfieldconsulting

out of state spk - ciber in mann hall – ing in spk – Mitchel jessen – sere – jpra – contractors - http://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyinginspk

Avitrol –

– who has pesticides - see also property mgmt - charles robbins - hardware - ace - noonan's -

wouldn’t the airport use avitrol to move birds away – as collision hazard –

Ans: probably

Note also GHS and dir ops - buses – neighborhood – siuc labor externship - adams family -

And see kaureuf – hovey – bhs – sorling – xa iasb - see esp hovey

Chatham buses – laidlaw/Rockford disp – liuna -

general note - re pesticides - chemical agents and avoidance of pain

they move me around with the toxins - that's how they set up the terr frame - xa "walnut" site - and timeline - they do it all day long - from one place to another - when a place gets too bad, it's time to go. When a town gets too bad to stay in, I try to go. Usually this has been like going from one frying pan into another frying pan - so to speak - it never works - note locations

Chatham school board members may consider pigeon problem tonight

State Journal-Register, The (Springfield, IL) - Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Author: DEBRA LANDIS CORRESPONDENT

CHATHAM - A potentially lethal bait is among options the Ball-Chatham Board of Education is expected to hear tonight for dealing with two dozen or more pigeons that have made parts of the roof and ledges at Glenwood High School their home. Foreign-languages teacher Jamie Altoff hopes, however, that research she's provided will convince School Superintendent Rich Voltz and the board to pursue other options. "Something needs to be done about the pigeons, but there are non-lethal alternatives," said Altoff, a member of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals organization.   ...

The chemical Avitrol , applied to kernels of corn, can kill the birds, but more often causes such distress in them that they no longer want to stay in the area...

The Avitrol .com Web site says: " Avitrol is used as a chemical frightening agent to remove pest birds from a given location. Birds eating the treated bait will be affected in a manner that will artificially cause them to emit distress and alarm cries and visual displays used by their species. This will frighten the flock and cause them to leave the site."

...

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Digital Detox via /r/selfimprovement

Digital Detox

We wake up, we look at our phone. We shower, we look at our phone. We get dressed, we check the time on our phone. Then we look at our phone. When we think of a staple, we typically think of foods that constitute a dominant portion of our meals. By that measure, your cellphone and social media are staples. Technology plays a huge role in our lives; it is highly beneficial and necessary. However, we need to unplug ourselves every so often. Just as your electronics are constantly running, so is your mind. Sometime we just need to detach those two things and snap back into reality.

Social media is awesome. We wouldn’t be where we are today without it – but is it controlling you, or are you controlling it?

Taking a breather from social media is a great idea and something everyone should think of doing, sooner rather than later.

Taking a Social Media Breather: Why it’s crucial to log off social media once in a while

The comfort zone.

How many of you struggle with stepping out of your comfort zone?

I know I do. I tend to stay where the view is nice, but the altitude is not so high. See, I’m afraid of heights, yet I love being in the mountains. I used to live in this little box where I often decided to step out and be me, but somehow society always made me feel like I just belonged in the box. I felt cast away and frowned upon for being different.  We’re all different.

I had realized that society did not shape the “me” that I am today. I now understand that I'm supposed to do that myself. The struggles I faced to be who I am  started a long time ago, and yet I just recently realized who I am. I want you to know that it’s okay to not know who you are just yet.  As a human, I am allowed to make mistakes, to hurt, to question. When you’re 15 and lost, you tend to do that often. Then the search for yourself begins. My struggle with social media started as soon as I went from being a young innocent kid to a rebellious high school teenager. See, we were all introduced to Facebook as kids – at least, I was. Well, I started with MySpace, copying and pasting codes to pimp out my profile, pretty much to the point where I learned most of the code by heart and coping was no longer necessary. 

I spent most of my school nights trying to ‘fit in’. Trying to make friends online, or finding whatever was trending to share. I was already struggling to fit in at school because I was the new girl, the new girl with broken English. I was also extremely odd. My parents thought I was rebellious, but I was probably the sweetest girl in school. I had very few friends to begin with. I could never vent and share my personal experiences with friends, because I had so few friends. I felt lonely. Facebook was my friend. To fill the this void, I began to write random posts online. Not too long, short, but to the point. These posts had a lot to do with my emotional state. Most of the time, I wanted everyone to know what I was doing; that way, they would be interested in me. The first person to ever tell me my writing wasn’t any good — aside from the mean comments — was someone very, very close to me. This cut pretty deep, because this person meant a lot to me. I was able to speak my mind and it helped to fill that void that I was so desperate to fill. I stopped writing, because the idea of doing something that actively turned off someone so close to me broke me. I was broken anyway. I had a horrible relationship with my parents at home; in fact, it was so bad that I used to get into physical fights with my dad. This was all because I lied to them about my high school boyfriend. As a result of my rebellious tendencies, I was never allowed to do anything with the few friends I had. I never had the chance to experience most of the things that children my age did. Sleepovers, going to the movies with friends, birthday parties. I was never allowed to do any of those. My parents didn’t even let me sleep over at my cousin’s place!

I was stuck in ‘screen relationships’, sending out about 100 snaps/messages a day. Posting on my story at least 300 seconds a day – the original DJ Khaled! I was reading nonsense tweets and retweeting, hoping they would fill the void of loneliness. I felt nothing, I was empty. I spent about 6 hours of my day sleeping, 7 hours at school/work and 10 hours plugged in, on the screen. Homework was not necessary; filling the void of loneliness was. I was addicted. Even at school, I needed to always be posting, messaging, snapping something. 

About two years ago, I started to notice that I wasn’t taking selfies anymore. It’s not because I thought they were silly. It was because I did not love myself enough. I was no longer in love with my face and body. Was I ever in love with myself? My self-esteem was low – so low that I was afraid of people staring at me. Aside from realizing I had low self-esteem, I had also come to the realization that I was not proud of my accomplishments. Why did I not love myself physically and mentally? I was numb to the things around me, so I began to question reality. There were times where I just sat alone in a room, wondering why I was still around. What was the point of all this? What was my purpose here? This is where it all started for me. This is when I knew I had to do something to fix this plague of low self-esteem. I sat down and created a list, a list about myself. On one side, I listed the things I was proud of; on the other side, the things that I was not so proud of. To fix all of these problems, I had to get rid of all the crazy distractions in my life. I had to be honest with myself and find the core issue that was causing all the things that didn’t make me proud of myself. The use of social media and frequent partying topped the list.  This is how I started my 6-month social media cleanse.

If you're thinking about doing the cleanse, feel free to take any of my ideas and try them yourself. See what works for you.

Delete every social media app. (You don’t need to deactivate your accounts) I started small. I’ve heard of so many scenarios where people delete their actual accounts and end up regretting it and logging in before the account is fully deactivated. These platforms hold our digital lives on them, so removing ourselves completely from them can be hard. Starting small and doing it on your own gives you a sort of reassurance that your account will not go anywhere. 

Here are a couple examples of the apps I considered distracting: 

Snapchat

Instagram

Facebook 

Twitter

Pinterest 

In the first couple of days of my detox, I would listen to music as I went about my day. I slowly started to realize that I was getting a lot more done. I was left with a lot of free time! However, I caught myself roaming through the music apps. Literally, just randomly browsing music.  Since I had no other distractions, I was on the search for good music. This was not helping me put my phone down. Explore new ways to take in content

In my free time, I still wanted to consume new content. You should never stop learning. I logged into a couple of other apps that had nothing to do with keeping up with others on the internet. By being open to new platforms. Here are the two apps I used frequently: 1. Medium - This app is full of great minds. Medium is considered a blog host. It is a platform where bloggers post their work. It’s easy to maneuver, and you have a mixture of amateur and professional publications. The app itself is an example of social journalism. Although it’s super-distracting at times, the app does a great job at restricting how many post you can read in a month. Unfortunately, if you really enjoy the app, there is a monthly membership you will have to sign up for.

2. Podcasts - I made a decision to replace music and listen to daily podcasts instead. Hands down, the best decision of my life. Music is good, but podcasts stimulate your mind. By subscribing to many users on the iTunes podcast platform, I opened myself up to not only new possibilities, but new ideas. 

I began subscribing to different users based on my interests. I was distracted. The distractions were not bad though; they kept me grounded, satisfied my thirst for knowledge, and helped me focus on what was important. 

A few days into this process, I started to notice a difference in how I approached my depression and social anxiety. What I gained from my Social Media Detox 1. Less Anxiety and More Happiness Study after study has shown that people who check email frequently or use social media excessively experience greater levels of anxiety. Information overload! My own tendencies for anxiety are probably higher than average. By day 2, I noticed that my anxiety had gone down significantly. I felt calmer, happier, and because I wasn’t seeing things that everyone else was posting, I was comparing less and creating more. 2. Presence I wasn’t documenting every moment – I was actually living each one, and fully engaged in it. My meals with friends and my school days were much more enjoyable because I was present and fully engaged in both. I learned to be intrinsically motivated, to do anything and everything for myself, posting on social media only to motivate myself. Some people are extrinsically motivated; they post for others. They post for the likes to lift their self-esteem.  3. Increased Focus Large creative projects, like schoolwork or writing a blog post, require intense focus. By giving up social media, I found that my level of focus increased. I was able to maintain a deep focus for longer periods of time. It turns out that quitting social media for a few days at a time is a great way to build your deep work muscle and experience flow on a more consistent basis. Deleting social media was the best decision I have ever made. It’s allowed me to get closer to my family, more disciplined in my studies, eat mindfully and healthier, work out more, and has given me plenty of free time to read as many books as I’d like. Life is great!

Like anything in life, moderation is key. But when you’re taking your last breath on this earth, will you be thankful for all the Snapchats you’ve sent and regret the missed chances of actual relationship-building, or will you remember all the moments of joy you shared with family and friends?  You don't have to give up social media completely. Your FOMO shouldn't make you anxious, either. Every month, I choose to download at least one social media app at a time and introduce it slowly into my life.

I hope my tips can help you! Give them a try, and let me know how it goes. 

Submitted June 13, 2018 at 03:00AM by findurapiotr via reddit https://ift.tt/2JIhzR0

[poetrex]

I was tagged a while back by the very lovely @pinehutch to list 10 niche interests. I hope she will not regret asking, because—brace yourselves—I am 98% nautical-themed niche by volume, and I will pounce like a pistol shrimp on every chance to infodump! If anyone fancies frothing at the mouth about nuclear SLCMs or New START or whatever, I encourage you to visit my Twitter—I'm not very active there but it's peak esoteric. I've also tacked on some "Ask Me Abouts" in case anyone wants even more specific infodumping! Consider this the Internet Sleepover Journaling Party: Extra Niche Edition—tagging all prior ISJP participants to list 10 of their own niche interests, ask me about one of these, or ignore this tag completely with no hard feelings! @wordrummager @definegodliness @drearydaffodil @viola-cola @lunaragent and @caffeinatedkaboom and anyone else who wants to join in!

1. Weapons proliferation, international collective security, and arms control agreements. I.E. missiles, missiles, and more missiles—except ideally, fewer missiles. Also the history of 19th and early 20th century naval arms races and treaties—especially the 1921-22 International Conference on Naval Limitation and how it affected ship design. Contemporary arms-racing behaviour with regard to anti-ballistic missile systems, anti-ship ballistic missile systems, artificial intelligence, and hypersonic weapons. Autonomous nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed cruise missiles and torpedoes (I hate them, thanks!). Cruise missile proliferation is of particular concern as it tends to fly under the radar (I know I know, bad joke). Ask me about strategic ambiguity, nuclear posture, and why "escalate to deescalate" is a fever dream of western analysts and not actual Russian doctrine!

2. Open-source intelligence and geolocation. Adding to this the buzzwords "citizen science", "crowdsourcing", "hiveminding" etc. (deceptive terms—the "crowd" is increasingly atomized and unrepresentative). I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole a few years back where I spent a lot of time on Google Earth, wikimapia.org, marinetraffic.com and flightradar24.com watching areas of interest, and assisting some patriotic Taiwanese in locating PLA rockets and radars across the Strait using historical satellite imagery and other sources. Ask me about Strava Heatmap, or the Red Bird Express!

3. Military applications of electromagnetic and acoustic waves in the maritime domain, including: the early history of naval radio communications and signals intelligence (SIGINT); the effects of sonar on marine mammals; the military use of marine mammals to detect mines using biosonar; LIDAR seabed mapping; ELF and VLF radio waves as a means for communicating with submarines at sea; high-frequency direction-finding using circularly-disposed antenna arrays or CDAA (one of the last two AN/FRD-10s in operation is in nearby Gander, Newfoundland!); but especially the history of the Sound Surveillance System (SOSUS), still extant in a reduced capacity called the Integrated Undersea Surveillance System (IUSS). Ask me about Soviet submarine shenanigans on the eastern seaboard!

4. Civil Wars in media and memory. And here I count the American Revolution and the War of 1812 as a kind of 3rd and 4th English Civil War transplanted to the New World. I'm fascinated by the political dimensions of Civil War reenactment, particularly in the United States but also English and Russian Civil War reenactors. Ask me why I loathe the "Lost Cause" mythology!

5. Old English, Old Norse, and Medieval Icelandic prose and poetry. I loved Old English in university and even thought about taking a Masters in Medieval Icelandic at Reykjavik University (my grades weren't good enough). Ask me about Grendel's mom and monstrous femininity in Germanic lore!

6. The environmental and ecological history of warfare. The lasting scars of conflict on terrestrial and human geography: craters; minefields; cemeteries; demographics, etc. How "an army marches on its stomach" and its fighting capacity waxes and wanes with the produce of the land. Ask me about Abandoned Military Installations of Canada!

7. Civil-military relations and the history of military coups and revolutionary naval mutinies. I'm especially interested in the intersection of civilian academia with professional military education, and the public outreach of institutions such as the Royal Military College of Canada, US Naval War College, US Naval Postgraduate School, and the Office of Naval Research. Ask me about US vs Canadian Officers' Oaths, or the Royal Indian Navy Mutiny of 1946!

8. Fin-de-siècle music hall performers, drag kings and queens, circus strongwomen, and bearded ladies. Also, historical ideals of feminine and masculine beauty, gender roles, and the modern history of fashion design in western Europe. Corsets and stays, crinoline, stockings, etc. The fetishization of various body types and parts over time and across cultures. Um, there's a lot to unpack here. Ask me why I have Mixed Feelings about Eugen Sandow!

9. Canadian maritime territorial and economic disputes: Arctic sovereignty and the northwest passage; The 'Turbot War' between Canada and Spain; the Hans Island dispute between Canada and Denmark. Ask me why that last one is Really Dumb!

10. Reading and writing fanfiction. This is a new one! There's so much great stuff out there, and it's been a good way to test the waters of fictive prose using ready-made characters and settings. Just the Dragon Age series so far—I’m such a romantic slut for these characters—but I’d like to branch out into some Good Omens or maybe even indulge some nostalgic TNG daydreams. Ask me how fandom Changed My Life!

[poetrex]

Internet Sleepover Journaling Party: Homebrew Edition!

Here are the rules: anon or non, put a number in my inbox and I'll answer—BUT I reserve the right to tag you back with the same question, though you are not obligated to respond (and some of these are a bit niche)!

Read any good books lately?

Who or what would you die for?

Name a work of art that moves you deeply.

What's the longest dream you remember having?

What internalized toxic beliefs do you struggle with most?

When was the last time you changed your mind about something important?

Do you have a crush on anyone?

How do we prevent nuclear war?

What's the bravest thing you've ever done?

Tell me a cherished memory.

List five things you like about yourself.

Have you ever seen a UFO, or met anyone who has?

It's April 15th 1865—Lincoln's dead and you possess the mind and body of Andrew Johnson for the duration of his term as President of the United States. How do you go about enacting Reconstruction? Do you redistribute land? Do you hang Jeff Davis?

What identities and experiences would you like to see represented more (or better) in media?

Have you ever (to your knowledge) met a murderer?

Tell me a secret.

Tell me what you want, what you really really want.

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done for money?

What's something you want to do but probably never will?

If you could construct a portal between any two places, where would they be and why?

You're put in charge of the National Shipbuilding Strategy for the Royal Canadian Navy and Canadian Coast Guard. What are your procurement priorities over the next three decades?

Tell me something that never ceases to amaze you.

Tell me about a spectacular place or event you have experienced.

You're given two million dollars on the condition that you donate half of it to charity and spend the rest on personal luxuries within six months. How do you dispose of these funds?

If you could instantly master any language, which would it be and why?

What's something you've been made to feel embarassed for liking?

When you dream, are you always yourself, or are you someone else?

Name a song or album that you could listen to over and over.

Show me something you've made that you're proud of.

If you could ask anyone else one of these questions, what would you ask of whom and why?

[poetrex]

28!

The Internet Sleepover Journaling Party begins! Thanks for asking =D 28.  Name a song or album that you could listen to over and over. Ys by Joanna Newsom, either the studio version or Live at Bottletree Cafe. I have spent entire days listening to ‘Only Skin’ on repeat. Definitely desert island material. Tagging @definegodliness with the same question and anyone else who wants to leave music recs in reply! 

[poetrex]

Ok, Max... I enjoy your knowledge of military history and trivia, so #21. And #25 because I’m curious.

21. You're put in charge of the National Shipbuilding Strategy for the Royal Canadian Navy and Canadian Coast Guard. What are your procurement priorities over the next three decades?

OK, first—sorry I took so long to answer this! I know you enjoy history and trivia—and that's good, because there's a fair bit to unpack here. Apologies for the jargon.

So. The National Shipbuilding Strategy. I hate it, thanks! Specifically the Canadian Surface Combatant (CSC)—it's pork barrel politics on the most massive scale to build large warships in Canadian yards at such an inflated price. I suppose there's an argument to be made for building them at home, but I don't buy it. Icebreakers and offshore patrol vessels yes, but multirole patrol frigates? Far cheaper in foreign yards. So we're going back in time a few years and install yours truly as the (fictional, fanciful) Czar of Canadian Shipbuilding.

Let's start with the basics. Why do we need a Navy and Coast Guard, and what do they need to get the job done right?

Canada is a capital-M Maritime Nation. We border three oceans and have the world's longest coastline. 90% of international trade in bulk travels by water—it's always been the cheapest, easiest way to move heavy goods (as Norman Friedman is fond of saying, it costs less to move a car from Yokohama to New York by sea than to move a similar car by rail from Detroit). Guess who exports some bulky products? Canada. Guess who relies on the regular delivery to ice-free ports of produce and finished goods to maintain a high standard of living? Almost everyone on earth at this point. I live on a boggy rock in the North Atlantic—without maritime trade, it's a starvation diet of cranberries and moose-meat for me and my family. That's why you need a Navy—to secure fair access to the global commons, and to regulate and enforce the sustainable harvest of marine resources, for Canada and the world. You can raise, train and equip an army in under a year from scratch if you need to, but you can't wish a navy into existence out of thin air—modern warships can take ten years or more to build, and they are expensive. So let's talk fleet architecture and procurement strategies.

Icebreakers! We need them urgently, in all sizes but especially a Heavy Icebreaker. The proposed CCGS John G. Diefenbaker should have been a priority for domestic shipbuilding—it was intended to replace the Louis S St.-Laurent, which launched in 1966 and should've retired two decades ago. This need will only become more pressing as a warming Arctic makes the Northwest Passage a more viable route for international shipping.

Forget building the CSC at home—order frigates from European yards, or plan on piggybacking the USN's FFG(X) project. I'd probably take a dozen or so British-built Type 26s.

I've seen the Harry DeWolf-class Arctic / Offshore Patrol Vessel (AOPV) derided as a 'slushbreaker' but she's not bad. Would I like a thicker hull? Sure, but the additional costs aren't worth it, not for her RCN job description—I'd rather prioritize icebreaker capability in CCGS vessels. She's already pricey for an OPV, but it leaves Irving Shipyards something to chew on (I'm not completely unswayed by political arguments for domestic construction).

Joint Support Ships. Because Vancouver's Seaspan yard needs some love too, and because underway support and logistics is sexy.

Finally, Submarines! Our aging Victoria-class boats ought to be replaced, ideally by nuclear-powered subs capable of under-ice operations. Now that n-word's a hard sell, and not just to the Canadian public—the idea's been floated in the past, but nobody's especially keen on exporting their SSNs (and we can't build them here). So we'll likely have to settle for diesel boats—6 at a minimum to ensure operational availability, since you can expect 2 out of 3 vessels to be in maintenance or refit at any given time. I like SSKs but recent advances in Air-Independent Propulsion (AIP) notwithstanding, they can't do sustained polar ops, which is where a lot of... interesting stuff happens underwater (Russia knows the contours of our Arctic shelf far better than we do, for instance. And what was that mysterious Ping in the Hecla and Fury Strait?) So what do we need subs for? Well, partly I just think they're neat. No navy is complete without a subsurface component. They're deadly in war but what they really excel at in peacetime is surveillance. When Spanish trawlers were violating our Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ) during the 'Turbot Wars', it was our Oberon-class boats (along with CCGS vessels) that played a key role in collecting the evidence needed to chase them down in international courts. Additionally, operating submarines means we're part of the international waterspace management system through which foreign navies are obligated to inform us of submarines operating in or near our waters, which is also nice to know.

Phew! That was an earful, I hope I didn't put you to sleep. I could go on but I probably shouldn't.

25. If you could instantly master any language, which would it be and why?

Mandarin. I love the history and culture and literature of China. I have a few friends in Taiwan that I chat with from time to time. Someday I’d love to visit. I’m also fascinated by China’s naval development and would like to be able to read military publications in Chinese.

[poetrex]

I’m still sitting on a few asks from our last Internet Sleepover Journaling Party—sorry for the wait! I plan on answering them sometime between now and my birthday along with maybe some more ask/tell Qs. I know this used to be a Serious Poetry blog, but I'm afraid it's mostly frivolity for the foreseeable future. Hope y’all stay tuned regardless.

[poetrex]

2! And feel free to send back any question you want.

2.  Who or what would you die for? Gosh, too many things, really, for a long time. You know not everyone knows this, but suicidal ideation can include thinking of ways to die other than by suicide, and I used to daydream about this a lot as a depressed teenager—specifically, dying in the act of saving someone else’s life. Since then and especially since becoming a father, I’m a lot more focused on who and what I live for and I don’t plan on dying for a long time. But there’s still a part of me that romanticizes the notion of heroic sacrifice. Thanks for asking! @viola-cola tagging you back with 22 and/or 23

[poetrex]

It's not on the ask list, but: if you could merge together your three favourite animals into one brand new creature, what would it look like and what would its traits be?

Mark, what strange new horror have we unleashed upon the world? OK, let’s review the features of our Pangolin/Pistol Shrimp/Goat chimera. It’s got: > Armoured Plates > Big Long Ant-Eating Tongue > Visual Acuity Maximally Receptive to Blue-Green Light > Asymmetric Claw Capable of High-Pressure Sonoluminescent Cavitation > Vast Appetite For Eating Almost Anything > Cloven-Hooved Contempt For Law of Gravity Not sure what it looks like but it sounds like an Ultraman monster

Thank you for attending the Internet Sleepover Journaling Party!

[poetrex]

Oh- 12 and 21 if you please!

Hi, sorry I took so long getting to this! 21′s just been answered, so... 12. Have you ever seen a UFO, or met anyone who has? Yes, and yes! This was over ten years ago... Waterloo, ON was sort of a hotspot for them, as I later learned. One night I saw a point of gold light descend at great speed, like a shooting star, then stop for a split second before zooming off in another direction. My first thought was that it was some space detritus burning up and bouncing off our atmosphere or something, but the fact that it appeared to hover was somewhat alarming. My wife saw two of them on her way home from work that evening, and there were many such sightings all over town. No reported meteor showers or decaying satellite orbit, that sort of thing. If it was a craft or drone of some sort, which I still think is unlikely, I’d wager it was military in origin rather than extraterrestrial. I hope it’s ours! Someone suggested that afterburners in high-speed manoeuvres could create a similar visual effect from certain angles, but there was no perceptible arc or acceleration—it was uncanny.