#then a painful major character death one I don't like to think about lol

[tofangirlornottofangirl]

why do I feel so uneasy about this fight. like no matter the outcome this fight feels... foreboding. like things are about to change drastically one way or the other and we probably won't like it

if gojo somehow dies i'm quitting the manga and just waiting 10 years for the anime to catch up and then i will stop before i reach the episode where he dies so I can continue to live in a world where he doesn't die

[giantchasm]

“What is it that the child has to teach? The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everyone should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not. And the child is right.”

WOO! After a little over a month and 60+ hours of drawing, it's finally finished. The Peony animatic I promised you has, at long last, arrived.

It took a lot of work, but I'm super happy with how it came out! And, tbh, I'm already planning more animatics I want to do in the future.

I think the majority of you are already acquainted with Peony, but just in case you aren't, here's a quick rundown of her story, or at least what's covered in the video:

Peony has always known her family experienced quite a bit of strife before her birth, but she doesn’t quite understand the full extent of it until getting caught up in a horrible accident. After nearly losing her life, the young magician develops an affinity for Soul magic— more specifically a connection with the spirit plane, and thanks to that, she’s able to meet two very special people. Her deceased granddad and her father’s long-gone ex-best friend are far from perfect people, but Peony quickly warms up to them anyways. She can see they were dealt an unfair hand in life, and that the tragedies they were involved with weren’t necessarily their fault. As she sees it, they deserve a second chance. So that’s exactly what she’s going to give them! Peony resolves to find a way to bring her dead loved ones back to life… developing her powers more and more along the way and providing her family some much needed closure. But is something like resurrection really possible? It seems Peony may be flying too close to the sun. A certain fluttering fiend is keeping an eye on her, telling her it won’t allow her to disrupt the natural order of things, and that one can’t undo what has already been done. But Peony? She doesn’t know how to listen. The young girl will stop at nothing until she saves her two guardian angels and sets her family right.

...She's a stubborn little goober, that's for sure.

I love her, though, I really do, and I hope you love her too. This video was a real passion project, and I'm super happy with how it came out. I'm glad I could get it finished just before the round 3 polls of the OC Tourney start.

Remember, everyone! Peony for president. Girl's already ready to throw hands with a god.

@kirbyoctournament

Some of my favorite frames will be under the cut with annotations/interesting details pointed out.

I really enjoyed the crayon drawing aspect of this video. The doodles were super fun to do and added a lot of character to it!

One may have noticed that the way Peony drew her mother's side of the family changed, though, as she told their story... and that's not just to represent them getting older! The way she drew their eyes and other stuff changed because during the later half she depicts them with their cybernetics, whereas during the beginning of their tale, she doesn't. Pretty cool stuff.

Technically, in Peony's story, she can't really touch/physically interact with the ghosts... at least not at the point in the timeline this part of the animatic takes place during. All the same, though, I decided to fudge it just a little for more interesting character interactions.

This frame depicts Peony's near death experience, LOL. Don't worry about it... she's fine in the end. In general, this segment of the animatic displays her story a little more chronologically, showing how she developed her powers, learned who the ghosts were, and got better and better at using aforementioned powers.

Shortly after Peony's near-death-experience, Morpho Knight tried to reap Sectonia and Haltmann for interfering with the living world and helping save her life. However, Peony, even not knowing who they were at the time, stood up for them- offering up her life, instead, and Morpho Knight, impressed by the display of bravery, allowed it to slide for now.

...Stars, it's going soft, isn't it? Stupid Kirby

Peony doing some detective work! I really like the framing of this drawing. Here you can see Taranza and Joronia when they were younger alongside Haltmann and Susie pre-cybernetics, like I mentioned earlier.

This bit is meant to be Peony finally confronting the ghosts (or- well, more specifically her granddad) about knowing who they are. She points out that she and him HAVE to be related. Look! They share the same hair fwoof!

There's a very distinct scene I have in my mind for the first time Peony is ever able to physically interact with the ghosts. She's making flower crowns and jokingly tries to put one on Sectonia's head, only for it to work. Needless to say, they're both shocked, then delighted.

These reunions make me feel things. Admittedly stuff is still a little complicated between Susie and her father, but ultimately she is glad to see him... and as for the spiders? I think they missed each other more than they could possibly put into words. They're so, so happy.

This is one of my favorite sets of frames. It took FOREVER to do all of the little doodles, but it turned out looking awesome, as did the ripping effect! See if you can spot all of the different family traumas she's depicted.

I like to think eventually Peony acquires some precious heirlooms. Sectonia hands down the matching scarf she had with Taranza but discarded when she went mad. Haltmann, meanwhile, no longer has his pocket watch, but when Peony tries to surprise him with a new one as a gift, only to realize he can't really hold onto it, he tells her to take care of it for him 'until he can.' This is something she does with pride.

Originally, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do with these sets of frames. I mean... I knew I wanted to have Peony walking past her family thriving, but I didn't know how I wanted to orient the group. I figured they'd be best in sets of two, but wasn't sure how to sort them out.

If I were to draw her parents with their dead loved ones, I feared I'd sort of be insinuating their bond with each other wasn't as important now that they had those dead loved ones back, and that isn't true at all. But if I were to draw the living characters and dead characters together... well, that wouldn't really represent how Peony changed the family, now would it?

Ultimately, I decided to draw Susie hanging out with Sectonia and Taranza talking with Haltmann. I thought it'd be a nice way to represent the group as a whole have become a ragtag sort of family. Everyone loves everyone here.

This is one of my favorite frames. I simply think it's so cute. Peony is so, so beloved, and she loves her weird little family so much, too.

I adore these final three frames. Throughout the animatic, the crayon drawings are used to represent her family's tumultuous past, but finally, Peony depicts a more positive moment, quite literally slapping it over a sad one. It's a symbol of her determination to rewrite their— rewrite her— story, no matter what it takes.

Little does she know, even if she ultimately can't bring Sectonia and Haltmann back from the dead, she's already given both them and her parents a happier ending. They're all together, at least, and that's what matters most.

[romanticatheartt]

I have a hot take and it might piss some people off specially the ones who believe Nesta didn't need a redemption arc (???) so please don't read this if you have this mindset

You saving your sister at death bed doesn't have redeeming quality. Because anyone in that room, specially Rhysand, would've jumped to help her without hesitation if they had the power. Nesta herself would've helped even if she hadn't finished her healing journey and was still distancing herself from everyone.

I'm not talking about how in those 12 days she didn't help the IC to find a solution, I'm talking about her seeing her baby sister at death bed. Because she didn't helped Feyre for 5 years and let her put herself in danger because Nesta knew she would survive. But the moment Tam/in took her, Nesta goes after her and searches for her. And this is exactly what happened, Nesta thinking IC would find a solution so she didn't even bother to offer a little help. Or even think about it...

In both situations the moment Nesta sees Feyre in absolute danger and is sure there's a huge chance that she might not make it alive, she makes a move to help/save her. I don't want one single person to come here and tell me it's not her job or responsibility- just shut it... don't embarrass yourself

You know what would've been redeeming?

The moment she realized Feyre might die during the labor, she should've started searching alongside the IC, she was literally working in a library at the time.

She should've talked to them and convinced them to let Feyre know of the danger.

She, talking with her sister, properly apologizing and try to bond with her and mend the bridge that's been broken between them.

Not sucking your trainer's d*ck the moment you find out. Not climbing down 10000 steps because you were so "angry" of the injustice you were facing and tell your sister she's about to die and made it about yourself. Because you wanted to show her that IC doesn't "respect" her as much as they don't respect you. And put her in danger in the process because you knew how the stress might hurt the baby but again you were thinking about your own hurts and pains.

I love Nesta and her book helped me to understand her so much better and realizing how similar we are and how much I share trauma with her. Not my trauma response tho.

I just hate the way sjm wrote her healing journey because she made it about herself lol. She projected her trauma and her experience during her process of healing and wrote it into Nesta's story and never cared how it might look at the end. Now Nesta saving Feyre, her blood sister, sounds more like a favor she gave and give *some* people the opportunity to make what Feyre did for her sisters a chore, a responsibility, something she enjoyed to do because she wanted to hurt herself. (and that's definitely not true) Don't even try to deny I've seen it many many times and I have proof.

And that's my problem with her book. I love that she made friends along the process and had her own found family, it led us to meet two beautiful characters. Her book gave us context of the reason behind some of her actions. We get to read how ashamed and hateful she is toward herself for neglecting Feyre. But the rest? No.

Sjm could've give us Nesta, fixing her relationship with the people around her and making new friendship with her found family at the same time but instead she wrote so many smut scene that has no purpose and doesn't help the plot moving. I'm throwing hot takes after hot takes jeez

In conclusion acosf didn't help people to forgive Nesta. Understand her? Yes. But forgiving her and give them the opportunity to considee her as their favorite character? No. I'm not talking about all but the majority, because as you see even now people can't seem to forgive her even tho they understand her much better.

To be honest acosf is one of the weakest book sjm has ever written and she hasn't wrote one single good book ever since... I wanted to make all these takes in different posts but fuck it, we ball<3

[super-paper]

Do you think Hawks will die to save Toga?

Personally, I wouldn't like it if either of them died. Like, the potential narrative payoff here would be strongest if both of them lived, imo. I would rather see a situation where Keigo donates just enough blood to stabilize them both, rather than a situation where one person completely exsanguinates themselves and leaves behind a rash of trauma and unresolved feelings in the person they "saved."

I'm definitely not the best when it comes to Hawks meta, but I'll try my best to break down my personal feelings on why I feel both Keigo and Himiko need to live in order to "break the cycle":

1. You Can Start Over. I'll Help You.

This one's the biggest, most obvious point in favor of them both living imo. Hawks made an offer to help Jin start over, but rescinded that offer and immediately went for the kill the moment Jin showed signs of resistance. This was Keigo's biggest failure as both a hero and as an individual, and something he has yet to atone for.

In turn, Himiko believes there are no second chances-- that her only options are death or being locked away forever. So, she chooses death. She needs someone to offer her a third option.

The set up is there.

There's also the matter of Keigo and Himiko both stating that they want an "easier world" as their core motivation, and both of them state that they want to be the ones who help make that world.

Their goals only sound simplistic on the surface and serve as a mask for their respective traumas, but... ultimately, a world that's easier for Himiko to live in (where she is consensually given blood by someone who loves her and she is allowed to give her blood back to the world in return) is a world where heroes can finally take it easy-- because it's a world that nips the endless creation of its own "villains" in the bud, through unified acts of compassion and understanding.

Both characters have caused others intense pain and hurt others in their attempts to take shortcuts to the creation of an "easier world"-- Hawks is the hero that's "too fast," and Himiko is also associated with her near-supernatural speed. They're both too impatient and want the quickest possible results. Having both Himiko and Keigo living and learning the "right way" to create their ideal world-- and then, getting to be a part of that world as they both continue to atone-- feels much more meaningful than having one or both of them die before they can see that future reach fruition.

2. The Big, Suicidal Elephant in the Room

The majority of the LOV members all struggle with suicidal ideation-- Touya wants to set everything Endeavor ever chose over him ablaze, and he wants that inferno to also serve as his funeral pyre. Tomura has got a dissertation's worth of issues regarding his own mortality and self-perception/identity, and his whole "let's-just-destroy-it-all/we-don't-need-a-future-actually-lol" schtick has always been a symptom rather than a legit proposal for a cure. Himiko wants to disappear into the identities of the people she loves, because the world treats her a little more kindly when she isn't "Toga Himiko." The LOV trio's arcs all revolve around "death of the self" to some degree. (That said... resurrection and rebirth are also heavy themes within Tenko, Touya, and Himiko's arcs, soooo....)

Keigo also struggles with suicidal ideation and places the worth of his own life far, far, faaaaar below that of everyone else.

This has already been said, and shouldn't really need to be said in the first place, but-- people have every right to feel uncomfortable and criticize a story that attempts to validate suicidal characters by portraying their suicide in a noble/redemptive light.

Next!

3. It's All About All Mi-- Err..... Tomie?

"I was fine with that-- not saving her, turning my back on her. Me, who claims he wants to help people." - Hawks, about Tomie.

"I tried to go about things the right way" is a good line that touches on one of the core conflicts of Keigo's character: He suppresses so much of his natural instinct to do good so he can do "right."

Keigo knows in his heart of hearts that "the right way" doesn't save people like his mother, it didn't save Jin, and it's not going to save Himiko. He's been groomed into upholding the society and status quo that caused him and Tomie to nearly fall through the cracks in the first place-- and I've always found it both fascinating and sad that Keigo seems to equate choosing "the right way" (i.e. becoming a hero) to abandoning his mother. Keigo effectively being *sold* to the HPSC is what took Tomie off of the streets and gave her a roof over her head-- it gave her "a chance to start over." But Keigo doesn't seem to view this as true saving. With that in mind, his attempt to "save" Jin by essentially giving him the same offer the HPSC gave Tomie was always doomed end in failure.

Keigo: "My mother feared punishment for harboring a criminal, so she took me and ran."

Tomie first ran out of fear of being arrested after Takami Thief was captured-- which led to both her and Keigo being homeless for an extended period of time. She ran again after Dabi/Touya threatened her for information on Keigo, this time out of fear of her son-- a son who had became synonymous with "the law" she feared so much in her eyes. She can't bear facing him after her betrayal and implicitly fears punishment/condemnation from him (even though Keigo had *no* intention of punishing her)-- Tomie readily leaves behind the "normal" home and "normal" life that Hawks obtained for her through "doing things the right way," bc the imaginary threat of punishment and condemnation is something that comes across as worse for her. This only further convinces Keigo that he failed to save his mother, even though he's the one who's being betrayed and hurt by her.

I can't help seeing similarities between Tomie & Himiko's decisions to run out of an intense fear of punishment/imprisonment, and how this inevitably ties to Keigo. Keigo subconsciously realizes that he can't truly save people like Tomie, Jin, or Himiko as "Hawks" because "Hawks" is part of the problem. He longs to save others as himself-- as "Takami Keigo" (which is why the loss of his quirk kind of has me like "👀 👀 👀 whatcha gonna do next, turkey boy...,,..👀 👀 👀" )

As an aside, I seem to recall that transhawks made a few meta post where they talk about how there are traces of Jin's design in Tomie (esp her eyes, which have the same dead-eyed thousand yard stare) and that their resemblance is likely intentional (edit: link to one post pointing the resemblance out)-- It's not as overt, but imo, Himiko also resembles Tomie (just a little!) when she has her hair down.

Anyway! Both Jin and Himiko dying after Keigo A) has spent his whole life agonizing about how his own mother wasn't able to survive in their current society, B) has expressed guilt about how he didn't even try to save her and didn't make attempts to involve himself in her life, C) has talked at length about he wanted to be "more like Bubaigawara" and then proceeded to roleplay him, badly, for a good third of Act 3 (ohhhh boy ☠️☠️☠️), and D) had demanded that Toga be killed immediately after she arrives in Gunga, only for Ochako and Tsuyu to explicitly challenge and reject the idea that killing was the only option available.... idk, Himiko dying while Keigo does nothing would just feel massively incoherent at this point??

TL;DR The resolution to Keigo's arc currently hinges on addressing his origin, his identity, his guilt, and his ties to these three characters. Keigo feels that he failed with Tomie, and he explicitly failed with Jin-- and I personally don't think his arc can have a satisfactory ending without addressing those failures through Himiko, or without him trying to right where he went wrong by helping her in some capacity. This is a chance for him to finally follow his innate drive to do good over doing what their society dictates as "right."

----

All that being said, if Hori did decide to have Hawks sacrifice himself: Hawks choosing to sacrifice himself because he wants to believe in the future that the hero kids are creating and wants to believe that children like Himiko have a place in that future feels WAAAY more tonally consistent with mha's themes than Himiko choosing to sacrifice herself because she doesn't think she has a future

One message is about healing and hope and belief, the other is about failing to truly save someone who was already suicidal from their inevitable self destruction.

MHA has been defining true saving as "going above and beyond" for hundreds of chapters now-- true saving means saving a person's heart, body, and soul. It means giving them a future. By mha's own definitions, Himiko choosing to kill herself means she wasn't saved. Pure and simple-- You can't save the heart but not the body/soul (Himiko), you can't save the soul but not the body/heart (Touya), and you can't save the body but not the heart/soul (Tomura). There's a lot more work to be done here-- but that's fine, bc MHA has never depicted true saving or true healing as some magical, instantaneous thing. (#recoverygirldni)

[romana-after-dark]

Room's on Fire: Exile

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader

Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader

Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader

Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: The cracks start showing

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.

Extra warnings for chapter: Some gore.... i think that's it? Pretty standard terribleness.

4.8k words

a/n: shorted song quote in a while lol This goes out to Alicia who always is drawing parallels between characters. Even if I didn't do it on purpose tee hee

a/n 2: please take note of my update on my writing here

"Second, third, and hundredth chances, balancing on breaking branches, Those eyes add insult to injury. I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending." ~Exile, Taylor Swift Ft. Bon Iver

When you wake up, you see Jonah’s head on the pillow next to you, bloody and nose caved in, eye bulging but looking directly at you. You feel hands around your waist.

You scream.

*

When Frankie and Will finally calm you down, you were coming down from another attack, his arms around your body rightly like the day in the meadow, Will’s hands on your face even though Frankie said you didn’t need that right now. 

“He’s dead.” Santi’s voice breaks your frozen state, making you jolt and turn to the right where he stood. His arms were crossed, as were his legs as he leaned against the desk.

Frankie felt your gasping chest again. “Santi, not now.”

The changes in Frankie recently were obvious… there was something different in his eyes. You found yourself clinging to him after every new disaster, his face being the guidance you need in these trying times… Until this morning when you woke up beside him, In Ben’s arms, and instead of his face you saw Jonah.

“No…” You whisper. “No he can’t be dead.” Your eyes begin to well up with tears again at the though of him being gone. He can’t be dead, you need him, you need him still. “He can’t… he can’t leave me…” Your face is already turned to the floor where you sat, but you can sense Pope’s displeasured face.

“What are you talk about?”

Angered, you shout, surprising everyone. “HE CAN”T LEAVE ME! I NEED HIM!” Your legs kick a bit like you are throwing a tantrum, but you simply can’t control your feelings.

Pope’s short legs stride over despite a warning call from Will still knelt near you. He ignores it. “Were you fucking him?”

“NO!”

Frankie’s grasp on you grows tight again, trying to prevent another melt down. 

Pope bends over. “WHY WERE YOU GOING TO MEET HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT DRESSED LIKE THIS!” He grabs your nightgown roughly, the material yanking on your still pain skin and you scream. 

“SANTI KNOCK IT OFF!” Will shoves him out of the way, giving his husband a stern look.

You begin to rock yourself, gritting teeth as you reply. “Because other clothes hurt my skin now, SANTIAGO!” You shout his real name, the sound foreign on your lips… the room lay silent as you watched the realization that you have forgone the honorific, something that might have pleased everyone in the early days… But this was not the blissful first month of your marriage. This was not a time where he wanted you comfortable, where there was an illusion that the 5 of you could leave peacefully, you as their center, not tearing each other apart with the 5 of you fighting for affection of each other. You swear you can see him put his mask on.

 Face softening, you flinch when he kneels down beside you, cupping your face in his hands with a soft smile. You are reminded of the day you met him, the day he told you that you were perfect. 

‘From now on, as long as you are what we need you to be, whatever you need, you’ll have.’

You were everything he needed you to be. You carried the savior. That was the condition, wasn’t it? Get pregnant? But the goalpost had been moved now. Remembering the burning, you think his threat

‘If that baby comes out with blonde hair, we’re going to have a problem.’ 

How could this be the same man? How could the man who seconds ago screamed at your and pulled at your sensitive skin be the same who gently knelt beside you, holding your face like he did in your first kiss.

“It’s going to be okay, love. You’re safe now, no harm will come to you. I will protect you.”

But it was different now. You realize he never protected you. Ever. Will killed Jonah for you. Will took the bullet for you. Will bathed you and healed you and massaged you. Santiago didn’t do shit.

But your body hurt, your skin aching in a reminder of what he could do to you. So you nod, tears filling your eyes. “Thank you, my husband. I just… I wish to sleep now. I’m tired.”

Seemingly buying it, he stands. “Frank, leave her be.” The gestures to the others to leave.

“Oh, uh… can Francisco stay?” You begin to sit up, off of him.

He narrowed his eyes. “I supposed. Just until you fall asleep. He’s needing to bless the water.”

Iris would have to clean the kitchen of Jonah’s blood… a cleaning ritual would have to take place with the water. Jonah couldn’t be burned alive, which is good because you doubted Iris would dance as he did. You couldn’t bear it if whatver you did to tempt Jonah resulted in her death too.

Getting into bed, Francisco goes to take his usual place in your arms, but you pull back when he reached for you.

“Sorry, sorry…” You are quick with an apology when his face crumbles. “I just… I need company. Not touch.”

He nods, looking guilty as he climbs under the blankets. “I’m so, so sorry Madonna… I never thought Jonah could do this… never thought he was the kind to… to…”

But you shake your head. “I don’t wanna talk about this, Francisco.” But after a beat, still, you ask. “Was that you that held me last night? You and Rey… you smell the same.”

“It was me. I don’t… I don’t think any of the guards should be touching you after this. Especially Rey.” You agree. Despite not wanting touch, you reach out your hand. You fall asleep to him rubbing his thumb over the top, feeling the mangled skin.

*

“Benjamin…” Frankie holds his lover, one leg hitched up against the pants Ben was trying to pull down. Francisco was always bottomless, his pants stripped away the moment they made it into Ben’s room. “Benjamin we can’t do this… she needs us…”

“We’ll be quick.” Shucking off his pants with little kicks of his leg that make Frankie smile against the younger man’s skin, Ben grips Frankie’s broad shoulders, wraps his legs around his thighs and forces them both to roll over. Francisco is always considerably impressed by his strength, always finds it hard to reconcile him with the starving boy that was found so long ago. Ben rasps, ordering Frankie where he wanted to go with such dominance, such self assuredness… “Ride me”

Guilt tightens his chest when he thinks about Madonna, how sometimes he wishes she’d take charge more… but then he remembers what the pay off is. Unlike Santi, he doesn’t have to worry about you hurting him. Unlike Ben, he knows you aren’t fucking the entire community.

His thoughts of you are pushed back when he sinks down on Ben’s cock, the long member driving right up to his prostate when Frankie’s ass hits Ben’s firm thighs. He was so different now, so capable, so strong… He wasn’t like this when he was young. No, back then, he needed Will for everything, refused to leave his side for a while… Frankie wasn’t sure who it was that found the Millers, but Jonah brought them into the mansion during a blizzard, said he found the orphans in a shitty lean-to that had caved in. The ruckous of Jonah's billowing entry has drawn Santi and Frankie downstairs where Beatriz was telling him they couldn’t stay. Jonah insisted that he’d take them to the boys dormitory in the morning, but that it was too cold to go outside again.

Will has frostbite from giving his warm clothes to Ben in hopes he’d survive. Ben was emaciated. They never did find out what was wrong with him as a child, why he was so much thinner than Will who’d give him so much more of the rare food… but even after becoming permanent members of the Garcia family, for years Ben didn’t put on weight. Then in his teens, he beefed up and became who everyone knows him as now.

“Just like that… fuck, fuck thats good Frankie…” Ben praised him, so vocal as he always was, feeding him what he needed in these moments. Frankie was aware his body was different than how the others looked, that the weight in his 30’s packed on more around his stomach, but he when he was with you, when he was with Ben, hell even when he was with Santi and Will he didn’t care. The validation he got from feeling needed, feeling desired was enough for him.

Ben thrust up into him, making Frankie cry out louder than he should, and Ben yanked him down to his level to swollow his sounds of pleasure with a kiss. And fuck, could Ben kiss. With every roll of his hips and slide of his tongue, Frankie’s eyes rolled back into his head. Nothing else mattered but Benjamin. 

Ben was only 4 when he was brought to the house, Will was 8, Frankie and Santi were 9, but Santi was almost 10. When Beatriz approached the boys huddled in each others arms, she stared for a while. They were helpless and small, and while Beatriz was a lot of things, something probably tugged at her heart. Ben gazed up at her like she was the savior herself, like all her bullshit about godhood was true. He never doubted her for a second, firmly obeying every order, explicit or implicit. That loyalty extended to Santi, and he never, ever betrayed him…. Except with Frankie. 

Tugging at Ben’s hair, Frankie humped against Ben’s body as they kissed, fucking himself on his dick and seeing stars. He loved Ben so fucking much it hurt sometimes, and it was near unbearable, it burned him from the inside out and crushed his chest but they could never, ever be together. Not with Santi.

It didn’t start out like this. Of course not, not with the age. Ben was his little brother, someone he loved as such and whose company he enjoyed. Ben and Will never left the house in the morning, Beatriz taking them in. She had her reasons of course. She said Will showed immense courage taking care of Ben after being orphaned, that the self sacrifice he showed was that of a healer's nature. Will became the God of healing and war. Duality. Ben was always full of smiles, even as a starving child. “Mi sol”, as Beatriz called him. He was the sun god.

For a long time, the four of them remained as brothers. Homosexuality wasn’t discouraged, perse… but it wasn’t encouraged. Men and women were needed to pair up to birth children. When things began to bubble up between him and Santi, Beatriz set him up with Iris. For a long time, Francisco thought something was wrong with him for not wanting Iris the way he did Santi. It wasn’t her fault; clearly she was stunning to look at, and the… activities… they had gotten up to that went beyond kissing proved that he WAS attracted to her. But nothing felt like Santi… not until Ben.

Francisco had seen Ben at the orgies they used to have, and for a long time he simply had sense of protection over him. He was too young, and Frankie worried when he reached 19, the age Frankie had been, that Beatriz would touch him too… he thought that was it. 

Then suddenly Beatriz was dead, and everything changed.

Jonah was almost killed for being found fucking Delilah who had participated in the coup. Marcus was burned to death and their future wife was burned to dance, a trauma that gives her a glassy stare for a moment every time she smells smoke. Iris was forced into servitude at the house to pay for Jonah’s sins and the engagement was, of course, called off by Santi. A vacuum had been created, power sucked in and Santiago tried to take her place.

With the chaos, Ben and Franscisco simply… fell into each other, and suddenly what he had with Santi pales in comparison.

With a fistful of hair in his hand, Ben pulled Frankie off his mouth, admiring his kiss-swollen lips as he pants. “Gotta be quite, Frankie. Gonna get you off, but you gotta be quiet. Can you do that for me, pretty boy?”

Unable to speak, Frankie simply nodded. He sat up, bouncing on his cock as Ben jerked him off. Their eyes locked together, Francisco was lost in the sky of blue in his eyes, a cloudy sky his sun god resided in.

Cum flies out of him in strong spurts onto Bens chest, cumming hard as Ben filled his asshole with his spend. Rain fell from those skies he felt burning into him, and he fell over to kiss them away. A soft smile. A gentle touch. A warm hand in his hair and body on fire. The warmth of the sun blessed him.

*

“Baby’s hungry.” You mutter on the couch, sitting on the oppiset side as Ben strummed his guitar.

Francisco smiled. “Oh, it’s the baby, is it?”

“Yeah.” You nudge him with your foot. “Baby says enchilada’s sound great.”

“Let’s go to the kitchen then. I got you.”

Ben lights up, looking away from plucking at the chords. “Oh shit, you’re making enchiada’s? FUCK yeah!”

“Noooo, I don’t wanna get up, can’t you make them?”

This makes Francisco frown. “I wanna stay near you, Madonna.”

“She doesn’t wanna see Iris.” Ben points out your fears, and Francisco’s shoulders drop.

“I let her take some time off… We’re on our own for a few days… It’s okay.”

It felt wrong being in Iris’s domain without her, watching Frankie go through her cupboards, her fridge, her pantry… Jonah was dead and it was her fault. Now both of you are orphans… How could you explain to her that you could have never meant for this to happen? That you loved him like a father, that you felt lost without him here… 

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Ben’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, making you turn to him as Francisco busied himself with the food. “Jonah will fuck anything that walks. Asshole practically raised us, then slept with Delilah.”

“Ben, I don’t really wanna-”

“Man, I used to see him at the parties, he’d bury his head in any cunt he could get his hands on-”

Your brow furrows at that. “What parties?”

“Ben!” Francisco calls. “Come help me with this.”

The men whisper argue to each other at the counter, indiscriminate words grating at your ears as you try to make sense of Ben’s words.

That’s when she walked in, trailing behind her was Reyansh.

The door opens, Iris stopping in her tracks. Her eyes were clearly red and puffy but the tears had clearly been wiped away, trying to appear indifferent. It wasn’t working. You scramble to stand, knowing you have to face her, face the consequences.

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could get out.

Iris’s face crumbles. “Honey…”

The sound of Jonah’s nickname for you from his daughter's lips shatters something in your heart, and you feel your lip quiver and eyes burn. “I’m so sorry…”

She takes a step forward, speaking softer to you than you ever heard before. “What on earth are you apologizing for…”

“It’s my fault! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You shout, and Ben places himself between you and Iris protectively, trying to usher you out of the room but you stay firm. “I should’ve seen the signs! I shouldn’t have been sneaking out of my room! I shouldn’t have gone unguarded!” Rey are vaguely aware of Rey behind Iris, of Francisco and Ben trying to talk to you but you couldn’t pay attention to that. The moment existed between two women whose fathers couldn’t be what they wanted, in whatever way that meant. Two women who were left abandoned. Two women who understood each other in a way the others couldn’t, no matter how much love was there. “I ruin everything I touch!” Sobbing, you shout ‘I’m sorry’ again and again and again.

Your knees buckle, and you hear Francisco shout your name as arms wrap around you, saving you and your baby from a fall. Then, Iris is knelt in front of you, hands on either side of your head and pulling you to look at her. Her voice is firm, steady and sure as it always is but an air of empathy that didn’t exist before. You understood each other now. When you eyes meet hers, eyes like a sturdy oak and just as unwavering, she spoke her words repeatedly. 

“It’s not your fault. None of this is.”

And suddenly, her voice mattered than Santiago’s.

*

“It’s okay to miss him.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Madonna-” Francisco’s hand reached for you, but you jolted back and away from him with wide eyes. “Sorry… Can I tuck you in?”

You scoot into bed. “Just… don’t touch me…”

He nods as you lay down, pulling the blanket over you and laying it nicely around you, careful not to touch your body or pull anything against your skin. 

“Do you… do you want to be alone?”

He watches you think for a minute. You’d been through a lot, Jonah’s attack leaving you… not yourself. Usually when things happened; the burning, the shooting, etc, you craved closeness from your husbands, but after this… You were so far from him, all the time.

“I… I don’t want to have sex, is that okay?”

His heart crumbles at your question, quickly sitting on the bed but far enough not to scare you. “Oh my god, Madonna… that’s always okay…and I would never, ever expect that from you after something like this…” Still, you  didn’t meet his eyes… just silently crying as you had been all day. He watched a tear drip over the bridge of your nose while you lay on your side. He sighs. “When Beatriz first… when she first touched me, I felt sick, honestly. She said it was a divine union or whatever… but she was my mom. To me, anyway. I didn’t… I didn’t want that to happen.

“The she died and I thought… you know I thought I’d be relieved. God knows I’ve thought about it enough… But I didn’t. I cried for weeks,  felt lost, directionless… there was nowhere to put my anger, my sadness…” That’s when he fell into Ben. “There was… I guess I remember being confused. I didn’t understand how someone I loved could hurt me… and why I still loved someone who could do that…”

You choke back a sob, and when he sees your hand reach out, smooth and soft compared to the other, he takes it. “I don’t understand why Jonah would do that to me… But… I’m also angry at him… not for…” You swallow hard. “but for leaving me. Jonah always knew what to do, what to say… he helped me figure this whole thing out… I feel violated but… also abandoned… If he had stopped, I never would have told anyone.” Shame swallows you as you get more and more intimate. “I don’t think I would have told anyone if he was successful, Francisco. If he didn’t start punching the wall, I wouldn’t have screamed! I such a fucking idiot! I just didn’t want him to die!”

Resisting the urge to hold you is difficult, knowing you have to be the one to make that move. You have to be the one to express it… Still, he lies down beside you. “Madonna, you lost your dad at a young age and you spent 10 years alone with no friends, no family, no love… It makes sense why you’d want to cling to any connection you have. He took care of you, you didn’t want to let go of feeling loved. Lord knows I’ve forgiven worse for the same.”

You turn into him, your face settling on your chest as you cried yourself to sleep.

His heart ached for you, panges pulsing through his body and he clung to you, holding you steady so you could let go. He would be your rock. He would pull it together, be the man you and his baby needed…

You were so precious when you slept, your body trusting him to keep you safe,to keep you wrapped up in love and adoration. He felt so, so horrible for what happened to you, that you were hurt so badly by someone you trusted… He was probably as shocked as you were when he found out why Will was beating Jonah bloody and why you were catatonic on the floor. Jonah, of all fucking people knew what it was like to have your body violated… It angered Frankie in a way he rarely felt.

Usually his emotions were pushed down, shoved away so he could be whatever Santi needed him to be. A stress toy, a cock, a hole, an emotional sounding board. His needs and wants didn’t matter much more than they did with Beatriz, but at least Santi was protective of him, showed affection without needing reward. Still, Frankie couldn’t be himself, so often… but today, as his sleeping girl breathed heavily on his chest, her face still on shirt in a pool of her tears, he let himself feel. He’d be better for her, he’d do better. He’d stay and protect-

The door opens. “Santi wants you.”

*

When you wake with Ben next to you, you’re heart sinks. Not because of Ben, no, never. He was a sweetheart, your sunshine, your joy. Seconds later, his sweet sleeping face makes you smile. You like the floppy chunk of dirty blonde hair that always tickles his face when he sleeps. No, you’re sad because you miss Francisco. Nightmares woke you up again, but Ben was out like a light. It was warm in the bed, Ben always ran hot and you felt like you were melting, even in your nighty. You always chose this one no, it was flouncy enough to allow room for your belly but the material didn’t irritate your burns that were still recovering. 

You think of how many members of Delta saw you naked, the scars and wondered if Santiago wanted you humiliated or not. You wonder if he knew what Divine Mother did to Francisco��� Your mind reeled with questions, like what this meant for you. If the God you worshiped so clearly abused your beautiful husband, could she truly be good? You couldn’t imagine kneeling to say your prayers now, knowing she made him feel the way Jonah did to you. And then you realize you can’t stomach kneeling to Santiago either.

It’s too hot. It’s too muggy. The sheet felt wrong and you needed to get out of this room.

When the door opens, you expect to find Reyansh sleeping, but his eyes were open this time. He wore a small, sleepy smirk on his face. “Somehow, I knew you’d still find a reason to sneak out.” He had a busted open lip.

You smile back, quietly closing the door behind you. Really, you knew after Jonah you shouldn’t be around men who aren’t your husbands in skimpy nightgowns but… it was Rey. You trusted him and yeah, you trusted Jonah too but… If Rey betrayed you, there was nothing left to trust.

He stands, letting you sit in his chair and he takes a seat up against the wall next to you, despite your protests.

“Rey? Do you… pray?”

He gives a soft chuckle, resting his head on the chair. “No, I don’t. Call me a heathen. Or a heretic. Or a blasphemer? I’m not entirely sure the difference.”

“I don’t know either, honestly. I just… I’m starting to think Divine Mother wasn’t… good.”

Rey lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank fucking god, girl. No, she wasn’t.” He looks up at you, those big brown eyes framed by the curls falling around his face. He was beautiful, truly. Shame he wasn’t a god, he’d be a good one. “Beatriz Garcia is a piece of shit who sexually abused multiple young men- boys, really. She had hundred of people put to death, and she is not God, none of this is real, she’s a crazy woman who-”

“Wait.” You shake your head, frowning hard. “No, of course she’s a god. How else would Santiago, Francisco, Ben and Will be gods?”

The light in his eyes fades, and he looks sad. “Sorry, sorry. RIght. Why don’t… why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking…”

You’re curious about his reaction, but too tired to think on it further. You settle into your chair more. “I’m thinking if she’s not a good god, maybe she’s a bad one? Or a demon? I don’t know… I don’t really have anyone to talk theology with…”

Reyansh pats your leg. “You’ll figure it out, I trust you. You’re smarter than they give you credit for. You know that, right? That you’re more than just a womb?”

You laugh a little. “Well, yeah, but that's not really important, is it? My job isn’t to be smart, it’s to have the savior.”

He sighs. “You’re so much more… and yes, that is important. Just know, you matter after you give birth, okay?”

“Rey, I-”

“Just say it, please?” He sounded desperate, so much more serious than you knew him. Your eyes droop closed.

“Okay. I matter after I give birth. I know that.”

“Good. And I’m gonna be here for you, always.”

“I know.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch out for us.”

*

When Ben woke up, he was worried when he didn’t see you in the bed. Santi had sent him to go get Frankie, but not before filling his ass with cum, ensuring Ben couldn’t have a quickie with Frankie. Did he know? Did he know Ben was fucking he most favored lover? Everyone with eyes knew Santi loved Frankie more than anything on this planet, only Madonna was too stupid to figure it out. He liked her that way, though. 

Ben loved Frankie with a burning passion. It was an ache that was never satiated unless they were skin to skin, unless he was buried inside him or fingers interlaced with his. No one compared to Frankie, no one made him smile, no one made him laugh, no one eased that pain buried inside him that blinded his rationale like Frankie did. Frankie knew him in a way no one could.

When he was brought to the mansion, Ben remembered two things. Will’s arms refusing to let go until Beatriz insisted, and Frankie, watching from a corner. He was so quite that day, but the way he hovered… the way he watched with curious eyes wherever they were taken, sometimes whispering to Santi. Ben had no idea these two would become closer to him than his own brother. The chill of the winter he almost froze to death in rattles in his bones to this day. Maybe that’s why his body over-compensates, why the sun bows to him. Maybe it’s his anger at the sun for hiding as the winter nearly took his life, took his family’s. 

Years later, another storm would leave a child orphaned, a little baby girl. She’d be found huddled up in her parents arms as they froze to death, the last of their body heat sustaining the child until Jonah and Marcus found her. Instead of taking her to the mansion, she was brought to Marcus. Ben wondered what might have happened if she’d been brought there like he was.

Will never relinquished his grip on him, not for the next multiple decades. At first, it was endearing, the protective nature… but then it became grating, an irritant. Will prevented him from exploring his true self, his power, the things he could do… Beatriz said he was jealous, that Will liked having Ben to take care of, to control, tha the shift in the dynamic would make him try to hold on tighter and she was right. When Ben insisted he was ready to participate in the orgies, Will tried to stop him, argued with Beatriz about it and tried to get Jonah to intervene. Jonah tried, but who gave a shit what he had to say? He was a consort at best. WIll never let Ben do anything fun, anything enriching, always tried to keep him out of the activities of the other gods. He was selfish.

When he realized Madonna was not in her bathroom, he stood up quickly to find her. Francisco had been summoned by Santi, making Ben in charge of Madonna and if something happened to her, he was taking a beating for sure. Santi has Beatriz's temper, although Ben never received that end from either of them. He was as loyal as they came, did exactly as both wanted… save for his affair with Frankie.

But then Ben opened the door and he found you, asleep on the chair… with that shithead guard sleeping with his head resting on your leg.

I loved the reactions to the last chapter LMFAOOOOO everyone feeling v betrayed by jonah ;-;

AS YOU SHOULD

milder chapter, more world building focused than anything tbh learning more about ben and frankie, how will and ben came to be in beatriz's "care" if you call it that.

Thank you all for the continued support! we are getting close to the end! Ima try and finish either If You wanna Be wild (javi p x reader/oc x santi) next chapter or he finale for blessed be the fruit (joel x reader) then 4 or maybe 5 chapters. depends. the last chapters seems like a lot to squeeze in there. ANYWAY

Save the children (which has absolutely nothing to do with QAnon who hijacked their hashtag) our currently supporting relief efforts in the Congo above our listed some quick facts that I hope you’ll take a moment to read, and if you can afford it, please consider making a donation. I have made a small one, but if we band together small donations make a difference

LOVE YOU ALL!

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Petals of Poison

TW: Blood and major character death/s

Summary: Hanahaki Disease. Taking innocent, unrequited love and crushing the life of the unfortunate. This is not a happy story. Don't expect a good ending. POV: 2nd Pronouns: Gender neutral Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Epel Felmier, hanahaki disease, star tear disease, heavy angst Word count: 2,958

Being 100% truthful... I cried writing this, and I got super depressed after lol. I've never done Hanahaki disease as a trope but I've read about it. I've only heard about Star Tear disease and it's very rare to use, but it's a sister trope to Hanahaki.

The person afflicted with Star Tear will cry stars, and slowly become blind, but it isn't like Hanahaki where the affected goes back to normal. No. The person keeps the damage.

I hope you all enjoy this Epel angst and trust me, this is still pretty light, even with a character death. This one didn't take me too long but it took a lot of planning and adding, truly one of my proudest works.

Petals of red carnations and aster spilled onto Epel’s hand on such a bright morning, the sun shining through his windows and lighting up his room beautifully. His face looked shocked and panicked, but he wasn’t in an urge to figure out what was wrong. He dropped the petals out of his hand and saw a small splatter of blood in his palm, but once again, no immediate reaction. He only sighed and got ready for his morning.

It was never like this, but not uncommon to one’s knowledge, either. In this world, magic and myth were big things, and the Isle of Sages was no stranger. Recently, the town had been talking about cases of victims who had recently passed away due to unnatural causes. Unnatural, being that their lungs were filled with roots and flowers, marking their deaths as undetermined in autopsy reports. 

Rumors had been circulating that these victims were in love with others, but never received the love back, then were found dead just days later with the same scenes as the others. The Isle began to find death as common as finding a penny on the ground, but still as tragic as ever for these young lives. Epel could be the next.

He did have someone he loved, but being in the same year as you meant nothing. You barely looked at him, only hung out together when he was invited, and you were completely out of his league. Not even close.

This had started months ago. Epel had met you at the mirror chamber on orientation day, and he became pretty curious. You weren’t from this world, yet you looked like you fit right in, too. You were quiet and confused, which he found interesting, but he would only see you from afar for now.

He was finally able to get close to you, but his attention was easily taken when Deuce started calling him a girl. At that moment, he heard your laugh. It was a beautiful sound that he had no idea would bless his ears the way it did.

One day, you came into the Pomefiore dorm, catching them teaching him about proper tea etiquette and rules. When Rook corrected him, he quickly grew embarrassed and stuttered slightly before fixing himself, hoping that you hadn’t seen him mess up. He didn’t need you to not find him able. He wanted you to like him.

Coming back from winter break, Epel hadn’t stopped thinking about you for any moment of the day. He began to doubt if you liked him, especially after seeing him mess up during classes and after-school clubs. As soon as he arrived back, he was met with more flight training and prim etiquette.

He was running through campus while trying to run away from his housewarden and vice-housewarden, not exactly caring where he was running. Suddenly, Epel felt a hard chest and fell over with a loud wham to the ground. He could only sniffle and rub his head from the pain. When Epel looked up, he saw your eyes on him in concern, and he felt himself become frozen, frustrated with himself about the situation before him. 

Deuce offered to help him, but Epel looked away and mumbled “dagnabit” under his breath. The other first-year grew confused and repeated what Epel had said, but Felmier felt embarrassed for looking so pathetic in front of you. Before Deuce knew it, Epel ran off and disappeared just as quickly as he appeared.  You were left with confusion and questions but didn’t pay much attention to it once he was gone. 

Once he was gone and in a place where one could see him, he felt a slight clog in his throat and coughed, surprised to see a few petals of aster and white carnations fall onto the ground at his feet. “Flowers? What in the…” He whispered with a confused tone, and he didn’t know where this had even come from. 

Soon, he was singing to practice for the Song and Dance Championship behind some bushes, but he coughed and sighed when he couldn’t reach enough, causing some small petals to spill onto the grass. When he heard the voices of others, he perked up and turned around, his eyes landing on you. 

Did you hear that? Oh, for the love of the Seven, please tell me you didn’t hear that.

You only stared at him as he interacted with your friends, but the thought of you finding him in such a pathetic scene lingered in his mind. He didn’t need you to look at him and laugh, especially not after everyone else found him cute and small. After witnessing how his housewarden kicked the asses of the other first years, Epel took a glance at you before being dragged away into more practice.

As soon as he entered the door to Pomefiore, he covered his mouth and coughed up more petals, the sound grabbing the attention of Vil and a few others who were in the lounge. Aster and… Red carnations. This one was new, but his heart did ache. It ached with a pain that poked in his chest, yet the bright red mixed with the purple and pink petals of aster felt comforting.

He felt something for you. He knew you probably wouldn’t like someone as pathetic and hard-driven as he was, not with this small body and cute face. He couldn’t get his hopes up.

Epel had caught himself coughing these petals now and then, but on rare occasions, a few of them had blood spots, nothing too concerning. At the same time, more and more cases of citizens being found dead, surrounded by flowers and roots, were becoming big online. Everyone made this phenomenon have a name, Hanahaki Disease, and it was spreading like wildfire. 

No one could figure out its symptoms. Other’s tried, but would get shut down about their theories. One person, at least every week, was in the headlines about this. Police thought it was a serial killer laying down his victims in a beautiful way, and citizens thought it was karma towards the person who died.

Epel’s symptoms only got worse the more you were around him and looked at him. You spoke to him in such a kind way, treating him as your friend. He noticed that your uniform and face had different sizes and colors of stars. He found it cute and it suited you, at least in his eyes.

Right. Only a friend.

He kept his feelings hidden, and it was only right. Epel knew the situation, and he was okay with it. You didn’t belong in this world in the first place, nothing wrong there. He had a life and family waiting for him in his hometown. He had to get over this.

But the world gave him no time.

Crowley had summoned everyone to the mirror chamber to bid you farewell. You were leaving. No warning. No time. Something felt wrong, and Epel ran to be able to hug you first. Everyone surrounded you two after that. 

Epel heard a twinkling sound, so he looked at you and noticed how small stars were on your cheeks. He was confused, what was even happening? He noticed these stars before, but they came from your eyes this time? He couldn’t ask, not before Crowley had to break it up before the portal closed.

As you looked at everyone one more time, “Come back here soon!” Epel screamed, making everyone slowly begin to agree with him. Then, you left. That was it. Your presence was there, but not your body or soul.

It was a moment of sorrows and grief, which only equaled to Epel coughing up blood-spattered petals of marigolds and purple hyacinth flowers into a napkin. He could tell that this was getting worse, but what in the world could he even do?

Epel spent that night trying to distract himself by researching everything he could about this Hanahaki Disease, coughing up occasional petals. He had found a few stories of victims who survived the disease, reading about how the symptoms stopped after they got together with the person that they loved. 

Reading more about how it got worse if one believed that the other didn’t like them back, but after a certain point, even thinking about the person they loved made the symptoms dire. There was no natural cure, at least not from what was written, but Epel did find something.

Surgery.

Getting surgery to make it go away. 

No.

That’s all Epel needed to read. He wanted nothing else about that subject to come up. It was absurd, even for the most desperate of people. Brain surgery to make the symptoms go away, but you’d forget about all the feelings you felt for the person. He could never, not when it was about you. 

Suddenly, he became curious. The scene from earlier crossed his mind.

Why does someone cry stars?

He searched it up, but… Nothing. Unknown. Sites to just people boasting about how their tears have the sparkle of stars, but it wasn’t the same. You had the shape of stars coming out of your eyes, and they were beautiful.

Epel sighed and shut his phone off. He didn’t need to see anything else for the rest of the night.

For a few weeks, the campus was in an awkward atmosphere due to your leaving, but soon enough, everyone began going back to normal. Not Epel, though. He missed you the most when he sat on his bed after school. He constantly thought about how you could be doing and wondered if you were ever thinking of him. 

He began to smile while thinking about you, remembering every moment he did get to save with you. His birthday, campus traditions, especially being there to watch him perform for the Song and Dance Championship. Thinking about everything made him suddenly gag and the next thing he knew, a pool of blood and different petals were at his feet.

His eyes were wide, but he vomited more blood, less petals. The puddle was red but cluttered with red and white carnations, mixes of purple and pink aster, yellow daffodils, and violet-blue salvia. This was the worst that his condition had gotten. Epel fell back and clutched his chest, trying to breathe silently but with enough force to get himself back on track. It was a silent night after that.

Time would come to take their youth, and before any of the first years knew it, it was graduation day. The day was bright and looking pretty on a day like that, and it kind of made the day better.

The ceremony had gone well, with old students coming back to congratulate and celebrate with the other students, and professors even admitting that they’d miss some students.

After all celebrations were over though, Epel stayed on the campus grounds, standing at the well that caused him the most time with you. He simply stared down the well, letting the sunset almost blind his vision. One memory of you caused a loud cough and blood to spill from his mouth, petals following after. 

It hurt. The pain grew worse than ever before. He’d rather suffer than forget the love he felt for you. His body was falling, faltering to keep itself up, and he landed on his back against the ground.

“The love I feel for you… Is so beautiful, but—” He whispered, petals of sweet peas falling from the sides of his mouth now as his coughs got shorter and harsher. “I can’t breathe.”

Epel could only clutch his chest as he tried to find the proper breathing pattern. He looked up at the sky and wiped the excess blood from his mouth. He smiled. Like he always did when he thought of you.

Epel could cry. He could feel it. You were so close. Just a little farther.

The sounds of struggling became quieter, and a bed of flowers grew. Cyclamens, sweet peas, heliotropes, white carnations, crimson roses, forget-me-nots, and black roses all grew from the ground. Its roots and vines surrounded the body of a recently graduated boy, who simply loved someone that he knew he couldn't have.

Epel looked like a charming prince with how peaceful he looked.

The world was cruel. Too cruel even.

Those young adults, now grown up, were gathered in a reserved restaurant. They all stood up when they heard the door, Silver bringing you in.

You carried a white cane and carefully moved it around, your eyes staring forward with occasional blinks. Everyone knew the situation, but there was still a tension that you could feel by just sensing it.

Your irises were close to white but had a faint hue of your original eye color. You were blind. You had explained to everyone before that you had “Star Tear Disease”, which explained why you cried stars when you left the world of Twisted Wonderland that day.

It was rare. Only a few had it, and you were the unlucky one that did. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, but you smiled nonetheless. It had been years since you had last been with the boys, and you were quite excited to meet them again.

“I'm fine, guys. It's just a little impairment, but I'm still me.”

The room stayed quiet, and slowly, one by one, they all came up to let you touch their faces and reintroduce themselves. Ace tried making you laugh by contorting his face, but you hit his shoulder. “Hey! Quit that. I'll pull your ear if you keep doing it.”

Goofball as always.

Once everyone had a turn, you felt weird. Someone was missing, and you slowly made your way around the table. An empty chair.

“Who's missing?” You asked, clutching the arm of the chair.

Silence once again. No one wanted to tell you, so you remembered everyone to figure it out.

Your body froze as you realized it, but you could feel your heart drop. “Epel.”

Tension grew in the room again and you could hear a sigh, then followed by Leona. “He's dead.”

Whispers with the others calling out Leona for saying it, but he simply grew irritated with their lack of sense. “Oi, what the hell are we supposed to do, eh? Keep it from them? They're blind for Seven's sake!”

“You didn't have to say it so bluntly—” Followed Lilia, not wanting everything to become a problem.

“All of you, shut up!” You yelled, the starry tears forming in your eyes as you clutched the chair harder, digging your nails into the wood.

Everyone went mute. You couldn't even believe it. 

“How...” You whispered, the sound of twinkling from your tears filling the eerily quiet room. “How did he die and when?”

Deuce stood from his chair this time. “On our graduation day. He died of some… illness called Hanahaki Disease.” 

Your world was crumbling. Hanahaki Disease. You heard of it in your world. It was made of fiction, but who knew it'd be turned into reality. The same could be said for Star Tear Disease, but you developed it here, and it followed you into your world.

You let out a few tears as you kept thinking, your arms practically wrapped around the chair. “Who was the cause? One of you knows.”

Vil spoke as he moved closer, trying to be careful with you. “That part isn’t necessary for you to know—”

“It was you. Vil told us all after he died.” The gruff voice from Malleus filled the room with those three words, and they somehow sounded painstakingly beautiful. Vil’s breathing pattern changed once the truth was revealed. You knew those words were true.

“... Take me to his grave.” You asked after a short moment of silence, sounding like you were pleading, so they took you.

Standing in front of it now, you gently touched the tomb, then the texture of the cement, until your hands touched the lettering.

“E P E L   F E L M I E R”

It had his dates, a small obituary, and designs of apple trees. It all felt cool to the touch. You could only imagine it, but then you remembered that you brought something.

A flower bouquet. Baby's breaths, blue salvia, lavender roses, and cyclamens were composed neatly, you could feel it. Anything for him, especially since he meant so much.

“Hey Epel…” You whispered, kneeling down in front of the tomb. You took a breath and it was already hard, the disease making your eyes sting. “You know, you're the only one I didn't get to touch today.”

“I'm sure you look the same. You never changed.” You said with a smile, gently feeling the cold cement under your fingers. You heard his laugh in your ears, imagined his smile, and you felt a warmth on your hand. His warmth. You knew it.

At that moment, you began to cough really hard, blood spilling onto your hand and petals came out of your mouth. You were unfazed. You knew what this was. 

You set down the bouquet and moved to sit on top of his grave, leaning back against the tombstone as you felt a sharp pain around your ankles.

“Why didn't you tell me? I loved you too. That's unfair…” You whispered softly, feeling your eyes close as your breath struggled slightly.

“We could've survived together.” You said with a faint voice, your body becoming lifeless as your hands and ankles were tied down with vines.

Red roses, carnations, and aster grew on the vines. The twinkling of your tears filled the soundless cemetery, stopping with a drop of a star on your clothes.

[chibi-celesti]

Random rant ahoy ft. Spoilers for AT 2 up ahead!

Been watching Luca's Cosmosphere on loop this past month, and, while I initially thought she was ok, I've warmed up to her alot and didn't expect for her to be almost relatable to me(especially in Cosmosphere 2 and 3).

Poor girl had a rough childhood. She lost her birth mother(she was an infant/ toddler at the time), had lost her little sister due to an Outbreak she(the sister) had at three, lost her foster father, Batz, who tried to save said sister, and has a strained relationship with her foster Mother, Reisha.

To make matters even more depressing, Luca finds out later on she's a Maiden chosen by the Goddess that protects the Continent(and died to become one briefly). Combined with feelings of self loathing and inadequacy born from her family falling apart, and you have someone who should hold resentment to the world. And she has her moments when engaging with Cloche at the beginning, and Croix during her route(especially if you try to romance her) where her anger shows.

You'd think enduring all of that she'd snap and let the world fall apart.

She doesn't. Despite all the Hell thrown at her and the rest of the cast, Luca still stands alongside her rival and team to do one thing they all want so much: to create an expansive form of land for a populace that yearns to live freely without fear of their land collaping at an moment.

I kinda relate to her with two things about her character: Her willingness to help people out, and not wanting anyone to hate her, and the desire to runaway when things get scary and I can't handle the stress.

Luca works as a [Dive Therapist]: something like, which is considered taboo, is technically a way to help people convey and destress the woes on their shoulders. She's a regular therapist but utilizes Diving as a means of being a safe space for people to vent out their problems and free at ease without judgment. You know, stuff that most therapists and school counselors do for a living. Yet one of the biggest hurdles she fears doing this line of work is people hating her. Luca wants others to be happy and enjoy her help as much as she can, and, should someone hate her, it hurts her already broken self-confidence and self-esteem she has from losing her sister.

I can feel her in this regard not in the therapist department cause my irl job is not that lol , but I can sympathize because I want to do all that I can to help people, and I don't want anyone to hate me or think of me as a bother. My stress levels go haywire should anything like that happen because I love wanting to help others in anyway I can.l, and if I can't I feel helpless and they probably get upset with me over it no matter how minor or major the problem may be.

Her panicking and wanting to rynaway when things get tough is another aspect of Luca I can sympathize with. Luca has done this in cases where she's in pain of losing Croix over him helping Cloche since he's said girl's sworn knight, her falling out with Reisha even more, and even joining another faction that claimed to help stop the madness of the current government. She feels so torn and wants to make a difference and purpose to herself she pretty much died at one point she's revived later in the story feeling like this is all she can do(even though doesn't want to). But she perseveres and even saves her rival and countless other from going through Ascension(basically death towards a utopia since the Continent project failed intially), and defended her from being executed.

Again, those aren't things I have gone through irl, but I've had moments where I want to runaway regardless of whatever the problem that bothered me was. I'm a bad liar, so even if I did try to runaway, I always have someone asking what's wrong and talking to them usually helps alleviate the problem. Granted, that's never truly a fixer upper at times.

I know I may have missed other parts of her character I the main story that are just as compelling or I overlooked in AT 2, but I really wanted to gush about how knowing more of her past struggles made my opinion of Luca change just from knowing how she was a girl who I'd argue dealt with a lot of Internal Self Loathing.

She'd make a sweet addition to the NRC Student body or Staff. Even Marmalade would appreciate her Therapy Skills!

[quaranmine]

Hi, not sure if you remember me, but i sent an ask a while ago saying how i love the Incadescence of a dying light and that i talk about it with my friend and how we both really liked the story and are juts you know discussing it well update to now. we still do that lol. i cant stop thinking about it, i listen to the firewatch OST on the daily, resonating with each track at a time. I love it. I live it. I am enamored. Everytime Im studying Polish (my native language) and revising each epoch for my upcoming finals i cant help but connect themes and motives to that wonderful story of yours. If i land on a fitting topic in my oral final exam (like pop-culture, creativity and arts, certain themes in modern media) you BET Ill be talking about this fic (with all the credit I can give of course!) cause USARWSETDYRVUHUISC I cant get it out of my head. Its such an amazing example of how the media of fanfiction elevates the story to its maximum potential. How knowing the characters makes it so much easier to connect and resonate, even though Mumbo is absent from the majority of the fic, we still feel hurt after finding out whats happened to him. Like, its such an amazing creative medium I love fanfiction and TERSSXEFJNKVCRXSERARXSXERCDJNGIKKDc :thumbsup: oh gosh The Incadescence of a Dying Light. yeah so fun fact i actually had to look up what it means cause i didnt know the word before and oh. oh. oh its so much worse and more painful. really love it, i do, oh i do! I now have acquired (idk how to spell it lul) the never subsiding lust for nature and outdoors and hiking and being a part of it. I love it, you made me regain my love for it. I loved it before, yes, but i was caught up in my own head and had so much stuff i had to do, but now i love to look out my window even more, i love strolling in my garden. i love it. thank you, thank you, thak youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: So yeah, this fic is one of my faves of all time, i like it a lot, it has inspired me to live more and be alive basically and also. and for the end a fanart of an alternative ending where Mumbo somehow survives and just lives in the forest like a wild animal, living his best life, eating berries (i decided on drawing him eating berries [peace love and plants] instead of chowing down [is chowing a word??] on some rabbit lol) and then grian finds him and its super awkward

HI! Yes, of course I remember you! First of all, had a really wild day yesterday at work, but I read this at soooome point on my phone during the middle of the day and it made me smile :)

This ask is just so??? AAAAAAA???? I almost don't know how to respond, because it's just SO wonderful to hear this about something I created. Like I did that? I made a thing that is sticking deeply with people? I'm just soooo <333333

I like your point about how fanfiction can maximize story potential! I think it'd make a wonderful essay topic honestly. I have thought about this in connection with fanfic a lot--specifically, the divide between original fiction and fanfiction. In original works, you have to make the audience care. You have to introduce me to a character, setting, and story I will be interested in. I've read a lot of negative book reviews that start off with "the author didn't make me care about the characters" (i have also...said this myself about books I ended up not liking.) With fanfic, you skip that step! It lets you jump right in. I don't have to explain Mumbo and Grian's friendship or demonstrate it to you. You just Know. Someone reading it fandom blind would get the implication about how important they are to each other simply by seing the depth of Grian's grief, but for my intended audience, I can do whatever I want because I trust you to already have the background information you need.

The title is from a line I really like in a song (Post Humorous by Gus Dapperton). It just...painted such a nice word picture. Especially for a story about grief death and fire!

I just. Love that this fic helped you regain a desire for nature? That just makes me feel...warm, I guess, to know that I was able to spark that with something I created. I hope it goes well for you, and you get to take many walks. This spring I've been using the trails near my aunt's house (not.....hiking paths. too urban.) much more. I wanted to walk this week but I was too busy lol. I hope you have many wonderful experiences out in the Great Outdoors <3 one of these days, I swear I'll up and move to a place with "better" nature and "real" trails close by.

Also, SKFJSLFJSKFLSJKF your fanart made me laugh so much. I have like. Entertained this idea. Not as an actual or serious part of the story but I was like man wouldn't it just be off-the-wall if he was just vibing Out There 😭😭😭 You've caught the vibe perfectly LOL

this was all around such a special message to hear, thank you SO much!

[pynkhues]

Unpopular opinion anon. I really enjoyed Roman but I think I watched a different character than everyone else lol. The big one that's getting me right now is I don't really get the masochism takes? I didn't really read him as seeking punishment or only understanding love through pain... I don't feel like he was really seeking that out for the majority of the show. Also I think I may be alone in thinking Roman has kind of a normal(ish) relationships with both of his full siblings?? Like I don't get why everyone thinks the golden trio abused each other. Roman is such an asshole younger brother who turns protective the second Kendall is actually down. Like Roman can be terrible to them but also he loves them so much and it's the switch from jerk to "drop me a pin" that's I think is a core aspect of that character.

I just don't think I understand the fandom version of Roman or maybe I made up my own version and that's the one I like? At this point I honestly don't even know haha

I thought it might've been Roman you were thinking of, haha.

Yeah, there's a lot of interesting interpretations of him in fandom, and I think in some ways he's probably one of the more ambiguous characters on the show. I was just reading this little interview snippet actually and thinking how the interviewer's read of Roman as someone who has a lot of crazy adventures is so antithetical to how I see him. I tend to agree with both Kieran's reply and the OP's tags there though that Roman likely has a pretty good ear to the ground socially in order to project a certain image, but doesn't necessarily actually live it.

While it's not my personal read either, I do get where people are seeing it when it comes to the masochism factor. I think there's a valid interpretation of canon there between Roman courting violence with the protestors after Logan's funeral, and the complex scene with his and Kendall's hug in the finale, and I can see why people draw a link between that with things like the dog pound and Roman getting off on Gerri berating him.

There's texture there, y'know? Even if personally I agree with you and don't think they're especially linked. I tend to view Roman's seeking punishment or the murky tie between violence and love in 4.09 and 4.10 as being very explicitly tied to Logan's death and the void he's left, especially because we don't see it at any other point in the series. I also tend to view the dog pound as kids being kids (more on that in a sec), and I also don't know if I think Roman would get off in that particular masochistic way if it wasn't specifically Gerri doing it (I feel like that particular storyline and romance was that perfect storm of the taboo of it all, the hiding in plain sight, his mommy issues, and also just him generally being really into Gerri).

As for their childhood, yeah, I agree with you there too. It's one of the things that I love about the show actually is that the siblings can be mean, can squabble and set each other up to fail, but the love there is real. Like all their feelings for and about each other can be really complicated, but the love they have for each other just isn't. Gosh, Shiv even says it in the finale - she loves Kendall, but she can't stomach him.

That read of the kids abusing each other I do think tends to directly come from the dog pound game, or setting each other up (Kendall and Roman leaving Shiv with the chocolate milk, Kendall and Shiv leaving Roman with the water pistols, etc.) which I really think is pretty normal sibling behaviour. In particular, I've talked about the dog pound game a bit, namely here and here, and about fandom reads of Roman as the most abused here and here if you're interested in reading more!

But yes! I don't think you made him up. I think he's a character where a lot of different readings are possible because he does carry a little more ambiguity / we know less about his past than we do Kendall and Shiv's which invites more speculation and, sometimes, projection too. I think my read of him is pretty close to yours though.

[lygma-nygma]

Hi! You talking about pre-new 52 's Jason and Tim's dynamic made me want to to read about them so bad! If its cool, could you list some comics of them you've mostly enjoyed so far?

Oh boy, this is a hard question honestly.

See, before the New 52 happened Jason was fully a villain so admittedly as fun as their dynamic is there isn't a lot of it. It's also worth considering if you're okay with reading a proper villain Jason before you get too far into this. He does some messed up shit during this era and some of that creeps over into his limited time with Tim.

That said if you're looking for the comics I read they were:

Teen Titans Vol.3 #29 - Life and Death (It's Titans Tower, way different from what I was expecting)

Robin (1993), also known as Tim's Robin run. Jason appears in #177 and #183 prominently

Battle for the Cowl (2009) This one is probably the worst and Jason acts as a major villain in the plot. I didn't mind it as much as some other people but it is really divisive.

And that's kind of it for Pre New 52 unfortunately. There's a lot of the two of them thinking about each other or talking about each other that add into my original post but those are admittedly much harder to track down or remember off the top of my head. But yeah, they don't spend a lot of time with each other in person.

That said there are some good newer Jason and Tim comics that have them interacting. I can't in good faith really recommend many of them because I've honestly avoided a lot of N52 like the plague. I did read Batman and Robin Eternal which was pretty good, at least for Tim and Jason stuff. The whole comic run is about the Robins so there's a lot of bits and pieces in here. It's primarily about Dick though and is set far into the future, currently considered non canon the last time I checked.

If you're looking for comics where certain characters interact I actually use the website DCUguide and use ctrl + F to search for comics that appear on both characters pages. It's a little tedious but it's a good way to do it, especially if you're only looking for a specific dynamic. At lot of interactions are hidden within one or two issues of random series and can be a pain in the ass to track down lol.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

MAJOR OFMD S2 SPOILERS!!

talkin' about the most recent leaked audition tape below the cut!

so we now have the leaked archie audition tape, archie being one of the two probable s2 lesbians and who will be played by madeleine sami (who is not actually the woman in the audition tape, for those of you who are also faceblind like me lol). i want to talk about the first scene from the audition tape

it's hard to tell what's going on, since it sounds like there's at least three characters in this scene and two of those characters are being read by someone off-screen. but here's a rough transcript of that scene:

READER(CHARACTER 1?): Let me die you cunts! Archie: Woah, hey! Easy on the c-word, compadre. That word just—makes me feel really uncomfortable READER(CHARACTER 2?): Sorry, man, we got orders. ARCHIE: Bite down on this. [HOLDS OUT BELT] READER(CHARACTER 1?): Bite down on my nob you bugging twat! ARCHIE: ...Okay. [ARCHIE SMACKS THE BELT ONTO A TABLE OFF-SCREEN, POSSIBLY KNOCKING CHARACTER 1? UNCONSCIOUS] ARCHIE: Um, do you think you could do the honors? Cause I’m—I’ll be honest I’m more of a, um, stabber than a chopper. I don’t love chopping. [SMACK NOISE FROM SOMEWHERE OFF-CAMERA, PRESUMABLY THE CHOPPING] ARCHIE: Ooh, haha, ugh. Icky. Icky yucky. READER(CHARACTER 2?): Well that was um, that was intense. ARCHIE: Haha. Super intense, eh? Superrr intense. [LONG PAUSE, ARCHIE MAKES PROLONGED EYE CONTACT WITH PERSON OFF-CAMERA] ARCHIE: [WHISPERS] Do you wanna...? [ARCHIE GRINS AND RUNS OFF-CAMERA]

so, obviously we have to take scenes from auditions tapes with a grain of salt. like, i doubt this is finalized dialogue. it's possible the plot has changed in some way since casting the role of archie. and also, again, it's kind of hard to really tell what's going on

but from what i can see, here's what i personally think is going on:

izzy is character 1

izzy is getting something amputated. probably his foot or part of his leg.

izzy calls the people in the room "cunts"

archie expresses discomfort with the word "cunt"

izzy then calls her a bugging twat

archie knocks him unconscious

the other person in the room proceeds to chop off izzy's body part

archie and the other person in the room... get horny from this? and leave to go hook up

(that last one tracks with the next scene, where it sounds like ed is making archie and another person fight to the death because "all love dies." this could be the same person who did the "chopping" in the scene above.)

and again, we don't know for sure that this is what's going on here! the plot might change, and it's kinda hard to tell who's saying what. but here's my main takeaways from this bit:

1. this scene is meant to be funny

unlike the toe scene, this scene seems tonally in-line with lucius's amputation scene in s1e06. just like how roach saying "knives are knives, meat's meat" was meant to be funny, archie's "icky, icky yucky!" is meant to be funny. it's also meant to be funny that and then she makes bedroom eyes at the person behind the camera and they presumably go hook up, after just having chopped a body part off izzy.

and yeah, that's pretty gross and fucked up! yknow what else is fucked up? the nose jar. lucius cutting off his own finger. making a turtle fight a crab. beating each other up for "vacation." lighting people on fire. turning people into furniture. "making some poor bloke eat his own toe for a laugh."

the show treats stuff like this as funny. this is nothing new. this should absolutely not be a surprise to anyone. izzy's foot (or other body part, but most likely his foot as a result of an infection) getting cut off in a comedy scene is very on-brand for this show.

2. izzy's misogynistic language is given a female target

izzy's probably delirious and feverish from his infection, just like lucius was in s1e06. interestingly enough, lucius did not call anyone misogynistic slurs when he was delirious and in pain. and lucius especially didn't call anyone a misogynistic slur after they told him they were uncomfortable with the first misogynistic slur he called them.

yeah, izzy's probably delirious in this scene. but the writers who wrote this dialogue probably weren't. in this scene, a woman expresses discomfort with being called a misogynistic slur, and when izzy then tells her to "bite down on my knob you bugging twat" she proceeds to hit him, possibly knocking him out. this is not the final cut of the show, so this scene might play out differently on screen, or maybe this scene will be cut altogether. but i think there's three possibilities for what this means for izzy's character arc in season 2:

they cut this scene entirely and we never see izzy say sexist slurs to a woman at any point in season two. if/when he continues to say "twat" or "cunt" it does not get called out

izzy gets the same feminism 101 arc that black pete got in season 1

the story punishes izzy for using sexist slurs but he doesn't have any character growth about it. izzy getting body parts chopped off becomes a running gag.

and on a smaller scale, here's what i think it means for this scene alone, provided that the final cut of the show has similar dialogue:

the writers chose to have izzy call a woman a cunt to her face because they want to make it clear that he is the butt of the joke in this scene

this is different from lucius's amputation scene, where he was still the butt of the joke but he was portrayed more sympathetically. this decision to write izzy less sympathetically was done deliberately.

3. medical inaccuracy in ofmd is alive (lol) and well

bro they literally just leave him there. like they chop a body part off this man and then leave him there. they don't stitch him up or anything they just leave his unidentified body part as a bleeding stump. whatever they cut off is probably still on the goddamn table.

this shit is hilarious i love this show so fucking much.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hi popcorn! Firstly I love your fics, they are such a wild ride lol and you can tell how much effort you’ve put into them. I found it interesting to have the Aegon/Helaena match be suggested by Otto, I’d always imagined it as Alicent’s idea to show their “Targaryen-ness” to the world. In your fic, who was Alicent considering for Argon’s wife instead do you think, since she knew he would someday need a “Queen”. Or was she just not thinking that far ahead lol

Hi there 😊 and sorry for this delay.

Thank you so much for your beyond kind words, and yes, it was much effort 🥲

I do believe the idea came from Otto in canon (Fire&Blood - asoiaf) so I wanted to keep it the same here. Otto was always the "head" behind the Greens, the one actually trying to do something and to move the pieces to first try to name Aegon as heir - before being dismissed in 109 AC - and then trying to name him king - in 129 AC. Alicent was always too preoccupied with finding ways to insult and spread rumours about Rhaenyra - e.g., "Do keep trying, eventually you might get one who looks like you." and "Ser Criston protects the princess from her enemies but who protects the princess from Ser Criston" - but she actually did very little that was useful to their cause. The only thing she actually did that was a smart move was getting Criston Cole to their side, but again, this is painted more as something to spite Rhaenyra, and having a good ally comes second.

I can actually see it being maybe part Otto for wanting to give Aegon a Targaryen wife to have Targaryen children - as noted by Lord Beesbury it did seem like not being full Targaryen/being less Targaryen than Rhaenyra could be used against him so this would be a smart move - and part maybe Eustace who was the court's confessor and liked Aegon as an attempt to get him to behave (i.e., stop sleeping around so much and being so lazy). Indeed, this is posed in "Fire and Blood" as one of the reasons to wed Aegon to Helaena, that being a husband and father could "calm him down" in a sense. Job well failed as we know, but to his credit, we have no evidence of Aegon mistreating Helaena, and actually evidence that he seemed to care for her a little bit (e.g., being jealous when Jacaerys asked to dance with her) and also for his children. He went half mad himself when Jaehaerys died, drinking to numb his pain, so he wasn't an unfeeling monster by any sense.

At the end of the day though, the final decision belonged to the King, but no doubt the Small Council would support this, even because, the vast majority for them with the death of Lord Lyonel Strong in 120 AC where Greens, and this was what Viserys decided. And mind you, he had had a 13 year old wife who had problems in the birthing bed for being bedded to soon, but that didn't stop him from wedding 13 year old Helaena off to Aegon.

Father of the Year 🙄

As for the second part of your question, Aegon was still only 15. I don't think Alicent was considering who he was to marry just yet.

PS: Asoiaf canon and characters only, so please leave the lizard redacted show out of it. Thanks!

[sapphire-weapon]

Listen, let me chee your ear off for a bit while I marinate in chronic pain, some medicine and severe disappointment. I got thinking and you know what really forces Leons actions and choices to make sense? He has no support system. Like, nobody at all. I know it's fun to talk about his connections to Chris, Hunnigan and sometimes Sherry or Claire, but overall, this man has nobody. It's why he doesn't take personal responsibility. Why he doesn't really view himself as a person at all. Why he has no fucking clue how to flirt. Why he occasionally settles for the one woman that continuously runs rings around him and she laughs about it (no shame, Ada is iconic, I'm so sorry), why he tends to get deeply emotional, why he doesn't open up, why he's utterly reckless, why his idea of a holiday is to get drunk while all alone. Leon has no advocate and has never had one. He exists just to dissociate and get fucked over and it's why I'm so attached to him! I know how it feels and it SUCKS. I want a success story. My idea of his success being self assurance, saying "fuck this organisation and these people" and actively securing a better existence for himself. I know it won't make a huge amount of sense canon-wise. But damn, he needs friends. Real friends. Chris might be one, behind the scenes, but it isn't enough to satisfy my "tell Leon he matters" cravings, lol! He's an irritating moron, because nobody cares enough to tell him that nor stay around long enough to help and support him through the breakdown and it's just... sad.

but

anon

that's the point of the RE6 -> Vendetta -> Death Island pipeline

The reason why Leon's campaign in RE6 got as fucked up as it was was because Leon, as a character, was so completely isolated from basically everyone but Ada and Hunnigan -- and Hunnigan doesn't even count, because she's his comm support.

At the time that RE6 came out, the only member of the main cast that Leon had interacted with on screen was Claire.

The only one.

Because when RE6 came out, these were the only titles released so far with Leon in them:

RE2 RE4 Degeneration Damnation Darkside Chronicles

That's it. He had five titles under his belt, and Ada and Claire were the only two people he really knew.

And, don't get me wrong. Most of the cast was isolated in this way.

Claire had only interacted with Leon and Chris

Jill had only interacted with Chris and Rebecca

Rebecca had only interacted with Chris and Jill

Chris was the only one who had screentime with every member of the main cast -- which makes sense, considering he's the main protagonist.

Well, almost every member of the main cast.

He still hadn't interacted with Leon yet outside of the off-screen mention in Code Veronica.

And since Leon is meant to be the deuteragonist of the Resident Evil series, that shoved his character further and further into a corner as he appeared in more and more titles in ways that were completely divorced from everyone else. It removed him further and further from the main plot and made him the King of RE Side Stories.

And that's not what Capcom wanted to do with his character.

And, I think, when RE6 was a clusterfuck and Capcom was forced into their post-launch analysis wondering "Why were Leon stans so fucking pissed?" I think that's where they found their answer.

Leon didn't have a connection to two main characters the way that everyone else did. Leon's secondary main character had always been Ada. And, in fact, the whole pretense for Leon and Chris being in RE6 together in the first place was specifically to tie them together through Ada.

And Ada isn't connected to anyone.

And Claire isn't a major enough player, despite being one of the recurring main cast members, to tie Leon to the main plot of Resident Evil in a meaningful way on her own.

The point of Vendetta and Death Island was to pull Leon's character into the events surrounding the main cast. Specifically, Vendetta and Death Island exist to bring Leon closer to Chris and Jill -- where he always should have been, as the series's deuteragonist.

This is why we haven't seen Ada again since. Constantly putting her in Leon's titles was actively hurting his character and served as a distraction preventing him from being a core part of the main conflict of RE.

And now, Leon potentially goes into RE9 with his two closest friends seeming to be Chris and Jill. And by the time of DI, he's completely self-aware about the reality of his situation with the government and even admitting without saying it openly that the conditions of his circumstance makes him miserable.

He wouldn't have gotten there without Chris's support. Without Chris and (seemingly off-camera) Jill, he'd still just be blindly chasing after Ada and pretending like he hates his job and his life far less than he does, because she's a convenient distraction from all of that.

Capcom is setting up his character for a massive breakthrough in the next numbered game that he's in, and the Remake series seems to be trying to retroactively fix the problem before it starts. It's just a shame they didn't notice it sooner.

[skaruresonic]

🤍, 🖤, 💖, 💔, 💕?

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Lmao how many people can I piss off if I jokingly say "Eggman"?

Huh, this is a tough one. Can't really think of any.

I guess I'll fall back on an oldie but goodie and say the ARK, as a whole, was morally ambiguous. While they weren't performing unethical surgery on Shadow, you also don't develop WMDs in secret without some kind of agenda.

I also think GUN's shadiness fluctuates depending on the game. They seem to have shaped up after the events of ShTH and started acting towards a more collective good in honor of Gerald's memory, but their actions in SA2 suggest an inept government. And, well, you know the old saying about stupidity becoming indistinguishable from malice after a certain point.

I tend to wonder what the Commander's plan was during the events of SA2. Although the game portrays GUN as a bunch of flat-feet until it's revealed that they raided the colony, I can't help but wonder if he in some part manufactured Sonic's framing in order to head public scrutiny off at the pass, much like how they portrayed the raid as an accident reponse. I can't imagine the Commander would have liked it to be known that Eggman stole Project Shadow while it lay under his jurisdiction.

---

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

...Eggman. Just because he speculated on his grandfather's motives once or twice doesn't mean he's rethinking his life choices. The war criminal life didn't choose him, he chose the war criminal life lol.

---

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS BUT YOU ARE TRIPPING IF YOU SAY SA2'S TREASURE HUNTING STAGES ARE WORSE THAN SA1'S. BITCH WHERE. HOW. WHOMST.

AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT COPY-PASTED DIRECTLY FROM SONIC'S LEVELS WITHOUT REGARD FOR KNUCKLES' MOVESET. ROUGE AND KNUCKLES MOVE JUST AS QUICKLY AS SONIC AND SHADOW. "IT TAKES TOO LONG" YEAH BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LEARN THE LAYOUT AND GIT GUD. JESSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS SUCH A NONSENSICAL CRITICISM FOR A GAME THAT HAS KART RACING. I DON'T GET IT. IT SAYS "TREASURE HUNTING" ON THE TIN. YOU'RE EXPECTED TO LOOK FOR EMERALDS. THAT'S LIKE GOING FISHING AND COMPLAINING ABOUT GETTING WET.

PLUS THE RADAR IN SA1 BUGS ME SO MUCH MORE BECAUSE IT NEVER SHUTS UP. I LIKE THAT SA2'S RADAR DOESN'T DING EVERY TIME I GET CLOSE TO AN UNINTENDED EMERALD SHARD BECAUSE I CAN JUST PICK UP, NO MUSS NO FUSS NO COCONUTS. THIS IS LITERALLY NOT A PROBLEM. OMFG IF I HAVE TO HEAR "SA2's tReAsUrE hUnTiNg SuCkS" ONE MORE TIME

that being said I will agree that Death Chamber and Egg Quarters suck a bag of dicks, particularly Egg Quarters Hard Mode which leaves you at the mercy of the Kikis' wonky AI. motherfuckers always blow themselves up and ruin my A-rank

---

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

You all are really gonna hate me, but Blaze. You could remove her from '06's plot and nothing would change. Hell, the fact that she resides in a different dimension inherently means you could remove every single aspect of her circumstances and nothing of the series at large would change.

Idk man, I just don't think she adds much, honestly. Her personality is kind of Mary-Suish while also being underwhelming, as well as largely informed: her fear of heights, for instance, doesn't impact Rush's gameplay at all. She enjoys special exceptions other girl characters don't, and it's a pain in the ass to even include her in a future game because you have to explain why she isn't back in her own dimension.

---

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Is Shadria unpopular enough to count? Guess it's only unpopular with antis.

Oh, well. I'll say Sonegg :P

[kamilion-en-pointe]

Just watched Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 3 a few days ago. And I mean this with 100% sincerity—I don't think I've ever watched a movie so good it made me want to rewatch it in cinemas, until this one.

Anyway, here are some thoughts that have been spinning around in my head like a microwave lol. And feel free to add your own stuff. I'd genuinely love to read more of other people's takes :)

Uhhh surprise most of this is gonna be about Rocket

Spoilers Below!

The entire opening. I've listened to the acoustic version of Creep at least a billion times since watching it

I love that the stakes start relatively small. They're not going (initially) to save the entire galaxy or anything. They just need to save a member of their family. That's all you need to care

Mantis getting more character development is always really nice to see. She gives me the vibes of a therapist friend, which makes her ending of needing to part from the group to find herself quite satisfying

Nebula. Just Nebula. I love her

I think the movie handled the flashback scenes very well, especially the ones that featured heavy animal cruelty. Choosing not to show any visuals, just audio of a young Rocket screaming in pain. You can feel the horror of the Guardians as they watch the data they gathered

I like the brief scene of baby Rocket pocketing some of the High Evolutionary's tech. Especially once it's revealed he was hiding all the necessary components to recreate a keycard for the cages—something I don't think he would've done if he really had faith the High Evolutionary would let him and his friends free

When the High Evolutionary put a turtle in one of his pods, there was a little kid in the cinema who said, "Ninja turtle!" Which is great 'cause that's also what I was thinking lol

That same kid also really freaked out (/pos) when Peter dropped that f-bomb. It was really cute

I also love that Vocaloid is apparently a staple bit of pop-culture on Counter-Earth? Because that implies either:

A) The High Evolutionary thought it was literally the perfect music genre OR

B) He counted it as one of the many mistakes on his 'Reasons To Explode An Entire Planet I Spent Years Figuring Out A Way To Speed Up Evolution For' list

I'd like to just take a moment to appreciate how great of an actor Chukwudi Iwuji is??? Like, when the High Evolutionary drags Rocket to the pods and hysterically questions how? How could he have known what to do? How could this vermin be more intelligent than his creator? How dare he look down on him?! I was scared shitless

Just... Rocket's scream of anguish once Lylla is dead. After having hugged for the first and last time. Sends shivers up my spine

Floor's repetition of "Rocket, Teefs, Floor go now! Rocket, Teefs, Floor go now!" has been ingrained into my brain for the rest of time (Major shout out to the voice actor, Mikaela Hoover!)

And then the High Evolutionary has the gall to mock Rocket, calling his grief a crying contest. I already hated this bastard but oh boy—!

Which makes Rocket's reaction so cathartic, when he jumps and scratches the High Evolutionary's face off. But his friends are telling him they have to go. They have to go now! Pleading with him as reineforcements arrive until...

They go quiet. And you can't help the dread bubbling inside you. Because we all knew how it was going to end, but we hoped, just maybe, we would be proven wrong

We weren't

Rocket, on the brink of death as Peter screams for him to be alright, seeing his friends in a white void, stacks of cages barely visible behind him. They're flying, they can see the neverending sky! "Can I join you?" he asks.

"Of course. But it's not your time yet."

Me: :')

Rocket seeing a cage of baby animals that look like him, after decades of thinking he was the only one in the universe. Looking at the plaque to see 'Racoon'—that's what he is? That's what he is!

Followed by him immediately scooping them all into his arms. Doesn't matter if they can't fit, or if some of them scramble onto his back. They can't go through what he went through, they just can't!

Rocket seeing the High Evolutionary after all these years of running, being beaten and thrown around, insult after insult flung at him—"How dare you think you are more?! 89P13!"

Before Rocket changes the gravity—one of the things the High Evolutionary boasted only he could control—and declaring, "Name's Rocket. Rocket Racoon."

He uses his name. He's not only found belonging with the baby racoons he just saved, this is also the first time his torturer hears his chosen name from his own mouth. He's saying, "I am not just a string of numbers! I am not just part of a batch of 'failed' experiments! I am my own being!!"

The reveal of the High Evolutionary's actual face was gross in all the best ways. The makeup was just *chef's kiss*

Rocket insisting they have to get the animals out too, even though the initial mission was to just get the children out, and the other Guardians going along with it because they can see how important it is to him makes me smile

Peter fucking Quill going back for the Zune, not for him, but so that he can give it to Rocket!!!

For real, I was actually worried that they would kill him off. The stakes were that convincing

I like that Peter and Gamora don't end back together. It's realistic, and more importantly, it feels like the characters made that decision themselves and not a bunch of writers forcing something between them. And Gamora has grown to care for the group now, even if she'll never return to how she was before

The fact that we can understand Groot because we're part of the family now ❤️❤️❤️

I genuinely don't get why some people thought ending with a dance party was weird/bad? Maybe it's just 'cause I'm a dancer so I associate it a lot with my emotions. But if any movie deserves to go out with a dance party, it's this one. It feels so...relieving, seeing everyone on Knowhere smiling and having fun together

(And, of course, I've also been looping Dog Days Are Over a billion times and smiling stupidly to myself)

And Peter finally returning to Earth, seeing his grandfather, who immediately gets up to hug him? Tears, just like that haha

I also adore both end credits scenes. Adorable

[writingquestionsanswered]

Would it be a major turn off if a character, in a world where almost everyone has magic, only had a few chances before they have to cause like actual bodily harm in order to continue using it?

Some additional context I have to justify it are that 1. It's almost OP and I need some things to balance it out. Like, it's literally immortality that's kinda like save points, just done so it isn't completely videogame style (since that world isn't a video game) 2. Most people's powers do have side effects. However, to be fair, they're supposed to make sense (e.g. former protagonist has fire powers, so she's also heat resistant but is naturally very hot, so cold hurts more before it heats up and she can't touch things that need cold because she can't just switch off the heat, or one that's probably more cliche but they've got super strength and don't know how much force they're actually applying, gentle to them still is pretty rough a lot of the time, etc), and I'm not sure if having to actually injure yourself is a good side effect to near-immortality 3. She also has a sort of healing ability doubled with it, where no matter how awful the injury it heals in 24 hours (like from light paper cut to the loss of a limb, it is always 24 hours, it just made more sense to me that way), so as long as she stops the bleeding she'll be fine the next day But then I feel like it's a bit too much since 1. She would lose any motive to use it - she doesn't worry about death, so with the injury and pain it'd likely just be like adding 0+-1 when you're trying to get 2 (if that makes sense), 2. She's in single-digits still, so it'd be a child harming themself because they don't want to die, which while the tone is definitely supposed to get dark at some point I feel like that might just be a bit much both to read and to write, and 3. There's already another balance in place - if she dies, she'll appear back at the last "save" (considering it's inspired by video games that's the quickest way to describe it), and will lose any memory or development that happened in-between. It also only lasts ~a month so that she won't be completely immortal, she has to keep redoing it if she wants to be. So she'd physically and mentally revert back to up to a month ago, in the exact place she was no matter what happened there in-between, no matter where she's been or what she's learned in-between. Still debating whether or not there should be a way to regain the memories or not.

I'm also not sure if I actually want to give her another reason to hesitate to use it, or if it's just because I like letting characters suffer in my head, but the story isn't going to just be in my head so I want it to be actually fun instead of just agony lol. I don't want my story to be too affected by my sadism exclusively reserved for fictional characters.

Sorry it's long and probably awkward, and that it probably has way too much info when I just needed a little bit, I just want to write my story (and current protagonist) decently and not be TOO harsh on the characters. While the way I wrote probably made it kinda clear which way I'm thinking of going, I just wanted an outsider opinion that I trust before choosing one way or the other. Sorry if it's too uncomfortable or morbid or anything, idk where else to ask and I'm embarrassed to ask people I know irl (personal issues 💀)

Thank you for reading this whole ask, sorry again about how long it is!

Bodily Harm as Consequence of Magic Use

I feel like "bodily harm" is really broad and random consequence of using magic. So... after a few uses, if the character uses magic again, their arm or leg just randomly breaks? Or a huge gash opens up on their back? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Typically, the consequences of magic are more logical:

-- Physical fatigue (lots of energy coursing through your body) -- Mental fatigue (extreme focus, quick thinking, mental stress) -- Loss of source (source of magic is limited so lost once used up) -- Harm to other (someone/something related is harmed by use)

You would typically choose one of these consequences (though physical and mental fatigue often go hand-in-hand), then the extent of the consequence is greater with the power/amount of magic used. In other words, a smaller spell has a smaller consequence. A bigger spell has a bigger consequence. A small spell would cause a little bit of physical exhaustion. A big spell would cause the person to pass out for a little while.

If you can find some way for the injuries to make sense, then you could still do that. But I would also add the consequence that injuries incurred via magic use don't heal in 24 hours. And while injured, no magic can be used. That way there's an actual cost to using magic too often. It's not just a superficial cost like an injury. They're putting themselves in the position of being powerless until the injury heals naturally.

I hope that helps!

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