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#then I've apparently upset the right people
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Spring Flowers (Vere x gn!reader) (Touchstarved)
content: this is technically a sequel to this post, but it can be read as a stand alone. Vere x reader, gender neutral reader, tried to write this so any origin will work, Jealous Vere, SFW, cannon typical swearing, violence, etc
(optional) part one: Winter Nights, here
summary: Vere wants to go watch the flowers bloom, and you help him out (its lightly implied Leander has a crush on MC)
word count: 3.7k
A/N: i've decided to make a series out of my first fic, each one coordinating with a different season. this is technically part 2, works as a standalone. i've also been considering maybe some Kuras writings, if anyone is interested in that, lmk! enjoy :)
The winter in Eridia was especially long this season. That's what Mhin had told you at least. Not that they minded apparently. They had no strong dislike towards the colder months, unlike Vere. You didn’t go a single day without him complaining about the weather. But finally spring had begun to take over the city. While you were walking back to your lodgings in the Wet Wick sometime earlier this month, you had even seen crocus flowers popping up early, with a light dusting of snow on their purple petals. You imagined the melting ice and sunny days would put Vere in a better mood. And they did, for a time.
One lovely day he came to the Wick in a foul mood, and as he walked past your table he oh so very rudely shut the book you were reading while he walked past. You let out an offended cry but he didn’t even stop to look at you, he simply stomped right past and sat down at the bar, ordering something strong
Rude. More rude than normal. Usually when Vere did something like that, it was to tease or get your attention. But this time he just wanted to spread his sour mood. And it was working. The book you were reading was a tome of very basic yet interesting spells, something “almost anyone could master” according to Leander, the person who lent you the book. And now your place was lost because Vere made his attitude everyone’s problem.
Luckily, you were more mature than him. And deep down you also knew better. Vere was a fickle beast, but usually his reasons for being genuinely upset were pretty valid. 
You sighed, tucked your book away in your bag, and headed over to the bar where he was sitting. Without a word you sat in the seat next to his and turned towards him, arms crossed.
Vere was already slouched over the bar, scowling into his drink. 
“Oh for the love of- what do you want?” He groaned. 
“That wasn’t very nice.” You counter dryly. 
Vere scoffed, throwing his hands over his head. 
“It’s a damn book! It is not that big of a deal. You're really upset over that? What, do you have to spend two seconds of your day looking at something other than Leander’s book? Oh what a terrible fate.” He spat, his mocking tone rising in pitch at his clear annoyance. 
Bad mood indeed.
“I’m not really upset, no.” Your even tone only makes Veres' little rant sound even more immature. “But that was rude, and it’s not my job to put up with your pettiness when you're upset. It makes me not want to be around you.”
You watched as Veres' eyes narrowed and his ears slightly flatten against his head in response.
Usually you wouldn’t let anyone get away with half the shit Vere got away with, but you were basically his only friend besides Ace. And that relationship was all kinds of complicated. Vere was great at charming people, making them fall for him, manipulating them, the whole nine yards. But he wasn’t great at keeping actual friends. It was a bit of a new concept to him, and because of that you gave him some leeway. 
Of course part of the reason you gave him that grace was because he puts up with a fair amount of your shit too. And you enjoy being friends with him of course, but you’d never tell him that. 
You continued to stare him down and he continued to glare at his drink until finally he mumbled something under his breath at you.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” You questioned.
“I SAID I’m sorry I touched your precious book ok?!” Vere snapped back. 
Vere was no longer hunched over the bar but instead had laid his head down on the counter and was glaring up at you through strands of his scarlet hair.
You smirked and laid your head down on the bar as well, now eye level with him. He rolled his eyes, but there was a slight smile behind the snark. You could tell.
“So, why are you actually upset?” you question. 
Vere let out a long suffering sigh.
“Ugh. It’s something entirely stupid. I don’t even really care.” He responded. 
“Well that’s clearly not true, you obviously care.” You countered. “But that’s fine. It’s alright to be upset over shit that doesn’t really matter. Just yesterday I dropped my slice of cheesecake and declared the Gods hated me personally. Well, even more than they clearly already do.” As you state that last part you hold up your bandaged hands, accentuating your point. 
Vere let out a quiet chuckle. Then a few moments later he sighed and began to speak. 
“There’s this festival happening that the sinobium is hosting. A viewing of some flowering trees that’ll be in full bloom. I don’t even care about the damn things, but it’s a huge social event, and you know how I thrive on those.”
It was true. Vere was like a flame to moths. People swarmed towards his charismatic personality and sharp wit. Not to mention he was probably the most beautiful person to exist. (Not that you were biased in this opinion at all).
“So why aren’t you going?” You questioned, urging him to continue. 
Vere shrugged. “No monsters allowed.” 
You were disappointed, but not surprised. This type of event definitely sounded like a gathering for the people of high town, and people like that don’t enjoy rubbing shoulders with monsters. Only the richest people in the largest city still standing had the luxury of creating a whole event out of watching flowering trees bloom. You could definitely see how this event would be right up Veres' alley. You couldn't help but feel sorry for the fox devil sitting next to you, it wasn't fair he had to miss out on some boring stupid garden party because he was a monster. He should miss out on the boring stupid garden party because he's a menace and a psychopath. 
Still, he was your menace, and you wanted to make him feel better about missing out on the stupid fruffy party. 
Then a thought came to you.
You didn’t need to comfort him for missing the party if he didn’t miss the party. 
Vere stared at you in tired amusement. He knew you well enough to know you were going to do or say something stupid, by the look on your face. He just didn’t know what yet. 
“I have a plan.” You declare. 
“Of course you do.” He took another sip of his drink, waiting for you to continue.
“Well-“ you reopen your tome as you speak. “I just happened to be reading a disguise spell before you so rudely interrupted.”
“Mhm. And can you cast said spell?” He questioned lazily. 
“Well-
-We can certainly try right? I’m sure I’ll pick it up naturally.”
“If you turn my hair green, I will kill you. I hope you know this.” Vere responded, sounding very serious.
You knew he wouldn’t, he lost interest in killing you after the first month.
Probably.
Well, you wouldn't know unless you tried. Plus you actually needed some practice to get this right. Not that you would ever use any of your friends as test subjects (or at least ever admit to it).
You didnt turn Vere’s hair green. You did however turn it purple twice by accident. You two had spent the rest of the day trying to make vere look human. It was admittedly a lot less trial and error and more just-
Error. 
It was a lot more frustrating for you than you'd assumed it would be. Which meant Vere had a lot more fun than he expected. But by the time sunset had come around, you had done it.
His scarlet hair was now a deep brown, and his magenta eyes were now a light chestnut color. The markings on his face were gone, as were his claws. The most shocking change of course was the lack of his fox ears and tail. They were still actually there of course, just invisible. After all it was a simple illusion spell, not the kind of magic that could actually change a person. 
It was…strange. You had never really thought of what Vere would ever look like as a human. His face was the same, but something about him felt like it was missing. Or incomplete. It was hard to describe the slight uncanny feeling you felt looking at this version of him.
A snap brought you out of your thoughts. 
“Hello? Still in there? You've been staring for like two minutes” Vere questioned.
“It's weird.” you defended.
“What? Why? What did you do to me?” Vere snapped as he grabbed a small silver mirror out of his pocket.
You watched as Veres eyebrows shot up at the sight of himself. He examined his reflection for a few more seconds, gingerly feeling where his ears were, and looking at the illusionary human ears that now graced the side of his head.
“That's….impressive” he finally stated. “I really look human.”  
“Which means you can go to the boring flower party!” You exclaimed, clearly delighted with your work. Oh yea, you were an incredible friend. 
“Well,-“ Vere pursed his lips. “-what if something happens to disturb the illusion? This kind of magic is easy to break. If only someone would come with me and make sure to be there so if the illusion breaks, they could recast it.” 
You felt yourself deflate slightly. A whole day of sitting around watching flowers bloom? When you could be working and making money? You hadn’t wasted time like that since before you moved to Eridia. 
But it was Vere. If he wanted you to go, you would go. And he already knew it, judging by the smirk on his face. 
You sighed, defeated.
“Fine, let’s go to the party where we all sit around and look at trees. How fun. When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Fuck.”
Vere simply chuckled before looking back down at the mirror, examining his new human appearance. You could also feel him occasionally glance over at you. 
Hmph. Probably shocked you could pull off the spell. Oh he of little faith. 
Just as you were about to flick a peanut at Vere just to be annoying, a drink slid right in front of you, prompting you to look up.
You were greeted with a pair of green eyes and a wide smile. Leander. 
“You looked like you needed a drink. Make a new friend?” He questioned, eyes narrowing. 
“Huh?” You questioned. What new friend was he talking about?
Leander gestured to the now brown haired Vere, who was still looking down at his reflection.
At that moment Vere decided to stop preening and instead hopped off his own barstool, moving behind yours and resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Awe, can the great mage really be fooled so easily? Either they're better at this than I thought, or just as dense as I suspected.”
Leander’s eyebrows shot up. 
“Vere?!?”
Leander’s look of bewilderment quickly turned into realization as he looked back at you. 
“Hey, you figured out that illusion spell from the book! Aren’t you a little prodigy?” He beamed. 
“Hmm. Yes, they are.” Vere smiled, putting his hands around your shoulders.
 Though his fangs were hidden behind your illusion, it was clear he didn’t need them. There was something dangerous about that smile, like the edge of a knife. You had no idea why he had gotten so hostile all of the sudden, and how Leander was keeping such a carefree look on his face.
“Now, they're taking me to the flower festival tomorrow with this lovely disguise, and I refuse to be seen with someone who smells this bad. So how about you head up to your room and hit the showers?”
As soon as Vere finished his sentence you saw a slight twitch in Leanders eye. But you were too busy with the smell comment from Vere to really care. 
To make his point Vere twirled a lock of your hair in his fingers and lightly sniffed it. 
Fucking rude. You didn’t smell that bad! Right? Maybe you should use more shampoo though… after all you don’t need to be so conservative with your products after Vere had gifted you quite a few of his own. Or maybe this was a bit of revenge for that time you had said he smelt like a wild animal? It had been a while since that night, but you did know Vere was one to hold a grudge. 
You lightly shoved him off you and headed upstairs (yes, to take a bath). 
Leaving the boys to glare at each other or whatever they were doing, you headed up and headed to bed. 
The next day, you were up bright and early to accompany Vere to his little party.
And unfortunately, as much as you loathe to admit it, the flowers took away your breath the moment you walked in.
The tiny pink blossoms softly shed their petals, coating the ground in a pale pink haze and leaving a sweet scent in the air.
Speaking of scent, you had made 100% sure you smelt incredible for this damn event. Suck it Fox boy. 
Vere scoped out a spot and called you over, motioning you to set down the outdoor blanket you had brought under one of the trees. 
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to buy some flower oils.” Vere beamed, clearly very pleased that his human disguise was holding up so well, and he had successfully fooled the sinobium. 
You signed and waved him off, plopping down on the blanket you had just laid out. 
As Veres' form receded into the crowd of people, a tall white silhouette appeared to your left.
You gave an easy smile. It was always nice to see Kuras. 
He gave you his own small smile, and you gestured for him to sit.
Vere may have issues with Kuras, but the two of you were perfectly cordial, and you’d even consider the two of you friends.
“So, you decided to go with Vere and not Leander. That’s certainly interesting.” He stated.
You tilted your head to the side in confusion. Why would you be here with Leander?
Kuras seemed to see your confusion, and you watched a familiar mischievous glint appear in his eyes.
“Oh, maybe he didn’t get the chance to ask. How peculiar. Leander was planning to ask you to see this blossom viewing with him.” Kuras stated, calm as ever.
You knew what you wanted to ask. And clearly Kuras also knew what you wanted to ask. But he was being mischievous. And you were being stubborn.
“Well I best be going. I only stopped by for a second, but I need to get back to my clinic.” Kuras stated as he stood up and lightly brushed himself off, looking immaculate as ever. 
He took a step to leave, then looked back at you.
“Yes. Vere knew.” 
And with that, he strode off into the crowd, sparing you from the embarrassment of him seeing your reddening cheeks. 
You were so focused on figuring out if that meant anything, you hadn’t even noticed that for some reason, Kuras had immediately recognized Vere, regardless of the illusion over him. 
You were so absorbed in your own thoughts, you didn’t even notice Vere had returned until he plopped his head right in your lap.
He gave a sniff and his eyes darkened.
“You smell like the doctor.” He spat.
You just shrugged.
“He stopped by for two seconds to say hi.” 
Vere snarled in response, and you couldn’t help but snort at his unfiltered displeasure. 
You began to gently stroke his ears, his real ears, invisible to sight currently, but you knew where they were without sight. 
Ever since he allowed you to touch his fluffy ears, it was one of your favorite things to do whenever he crashed at your place. 
He huffed in displeasure, but almost immediately leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed in contentment as you gently traced your fingers along the back of his ears. He burrowed his head more into your thigh, and wrapped one of his arms around your back. 
“What did he say?” Vere questioned, his eyes still mostly closed. 
Clearly he was trying very hard not to drift off. 
“He just said hi.” You fibbed.
You didn’t know how to bring up what Kuras had told you about, doing so would imply you thought Vere didn’t want you to come here with Leander. Which opens a whole new can of worms.
Seeing that that was all you were going to tell him, he pushed himself up off your lap and leaned back against the tree, scowling. He knew that wasn’t the truth. But it seemed like he didn’t feel like prying either. 
Before you could say anything to cheer him up, he grabbed a bottle from his sack of purchases and took a long swig. It was strong alcohol, you could smell it from here. 
“Do me a favor,” he seethed, glaring at you through his bangs. “Don’t talk to me. I don’t want my flower viewing ruined by you.” 
You could only sigh. If you were going to be friends with Vere, you needed thick skin. Luckily, you had dealt with him enough to expect this. He knew you were omitting some information, and was pouting.
You did feel a little guilty, he wouldn’t be moody if you didn’t hide things from him. But at the end of the day, you were entitled to private conversation with whomever you choose. Vere knew this, which was probably why he resorted to pouting instead of interrogating you for information.
You simply gave him a smile and made the motion of locking your lips shut with a key. 
Vere rolled his eyes and took another heavy swig. Though you could see the sulky look on his face after just a few more sips. He always wore his emotions more plainly when drunk. 
The two of you sat in silence, both enjoying the flowers. It was around sunset when Vere finally seemed to be over being upset with you.
Or he was too drunk to remember. 
He leaned against you, clearly unsteady from all the alcohol.
“Hey.” He slurred.
“Hey.” You responded. 
“Do-
-Do you like me like this?” He questioned. 
“What, absolutely wasted? I mean it is a little funny.” You smirked, and moved so that he could lean against your chest more fully. 
“Ugh. No. I mean human. Still beautiful, obviously, but with brown hair. Like Leanders. No fangs. No claws.”
His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke. 
“Can I be honest with you?” You asked.
“One second.” He responded.
He grabbed one of the bottles of alcohol and chugged the remains. That makes 3 bottles in under one day of some strong drink. Impressive and concerning. 
“Alright, shoot.” He grinned wildly, chuckling low to himself, Gesturing at you to continue. 
“Fuck no.” 
“What?” 
He removed his head from your chest, and leaned back on his arms, looking at you intently, the bewilderment clear on his face.
“You asked if I liked you better looking like this, the answer is fuck no I don’t. If I’m being honest it's a little unnerving. When you walked over earlier I didn’t even subconsciously realize it was you till you laid down on my leg.” You shrugged. 
“Even though my eyes are scary?” He asked.
You let out a bark of laughter.
“Your eyes are not scary.” 
“Even though my hair is blood red?”
“Why would that be a bad thing? It’s beautiful.” 
“Even though I've scratched before?”
“It didn’t even draw blood. And that was my fault. I forgot you had claws and basically rammed my shoulder into them.” 
“Even though I’ve got markings all over my face?” 
“It feels weird if you don’t have them on your face.”
Vere lapsed into silence, pointedly avoiding your gaze.
“I didn’t expect you to be the type to have insecurities.” You cautioned.
Now it was Veres' turn to laugh.
“Oh I assure you, I don’t. I find myself to be the most beautiful creature to exist. I just… wanted to know what you thought.” 
You sighed.
“I really hope you're too drunk to remember this tomorrow, but I think you're the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Please don’t be insufferable about this.” 
Veres' face split into a lopsided wicked grin.
“Oh darling, I’m going to be so insufferable about this.” 
You just smiled and stood up, gently grabbing Veres arm and helping him stand as well.
“Alright. I need to get home before dark so I don’t get nearly eaten by a soulless. Again.” You say, worry slightly bleeding into your tone.
The sun was already starting to disappear completely from the sky, you needed to get back before the last rays faded. 
“You won’t make it in time. I’ll walk you home and crash at your place.” Vere stated, in a tone of finality.
“Sorry, no. You're far too wasted to fight anything.” You countered.
Vere let out a bitter laugh and tugged in the chain running down his chest. 
“Even with this damn thing limiting me, and 5 more bottles of that drink, I’d still be able to kill any of the pathetic soulless in eridia with one hand tied behind my back. I’m walking you back. That is final.” He declared, then looked at you as if to dare you to argue. 
Vere did a lot of shocking things, but that one motion affected you more than anything he had ever done before. He hated acknowledging the chains around his neck. No matter how much you had come to consider him a friend, you weren’t stupid enough to ever push too hard on that topic. 
You could only nod in agreement. 
“Let’s get out of here then.”
As the two of you walked out of the gates of the sinobium where the grove of flowering trees laid, you let out a sharp snap of your fingers, and the illusion surrounding Vere dropped instantly. 
“That's better.” You remarked.
“Agreed.” Vere smirked back.
The two of you walked back the wet wick in comfortable silence, arriving back well past when darkness had fallen. After all, there was no need to rush.
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The amount of incredibly stupid and intentionally bad faith messages I have gotten after these posts is proving why I avoid this topic at all costs. This blog is a positive space and I will keep it that way. I will absolutely not be engaging with anyone on this at all. Save your breath and find something productive to do with your time.
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thethingything · 6 months
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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever#but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave#I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up#I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault#and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to#I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in#and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen#like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept#than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it#and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do#and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening#and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that#but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse#also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this#I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly#I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection#I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline#hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma#I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything#which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place
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gender-euphowrya · 2 years
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i know y’all aren’t doing the exaggerated pearl-clutch with clouty snark and swearing reaction to straycatj for having a point of view influenced by living in a culture that’s fucking different from yours
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kingspuppet · 1 year
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Hmmmm. Kinda, sorta, really bummed to see confirmation that Goro is DLC in P5T. Not unexpected (because why would they actually give him anything) but still extremely disheartening. I genuinely can't tell if it's just because they actually don't give a shit about him or if it's because they know he's popular so thrusting him into DLC hell means more money for them, or perhaps it's some combination of both. But I'm just....really tired. Either way I'm a dumbass and will buy the game because I am genuinely curious and would like to experience it for myself. I'm also an even bigger dumbass because I will gladly beg for any crumbs they can give us of Goro (as long as they don't destroy his character). Still, I just feel really drained after the last few days since the leak happened. Between people taking advantage to come out of the woodwork and harass/hate on Goro to the people that enjoy him and the fact that Atlus constantly treats Goro as if he doesn't exist half the time I'm so damn exhausted.
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luv4freddie · 9 months
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Fools - T.N
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in which the only Hufflepuff friend in the group of slytherins develops a crush on Theodore Nott— something only fools do.
fem!hufflepuff reader, bff Pansy, use of euphemisms and teasing yn for being innocent but sfw, reader is very emotional, jealous theo, 2800 words
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"Y/n!!"
After a year, you'd think that people would get used to seeing the same Hufflepuff go over to the Slytherin table, but alas, half the Great Hall turned to watch you approach the table and take a seat next to Pansy.
She sticks her middle finger up behind your back, aiming it at all of the people who are still staring, and they quickly turn away. It was an unlikely friendship, but she was not going to let anyone make you feel bad about it.
"About time you get here," Draco huffs, "I've had to hear Pansy's 'girl talk' while you were sleeping."
You smile sheepishly at him, you had taken your sweet time this morning, hitting snooze a few times before listening to your favorite record and doing more singing than actually getting ready— resulting in you being extra late to breakfast.
"Sorry, Draco."
"Don't apologize yn, he doesn't deserve it."
You can hear the teasing lilt in Theo's voice from across the table, and Draco throws a handful of grapes at him.
"Whatever," Pansy turns her back to them, "did you hear, apparently the Hufflepuff chaser has a crush on you."
Your eyes flit between her face and your hands, and you wonder where she got her information from.
The boys around you seem to perk up at this, and Draco chides Pansy for deeming that piece of information unimportant compared to all her other, much more useless, girl talk this morning.
"Where on Earth did you hear that?" You cut in, not enjoying the way everyone is suddenly interested in your (nonexistent) love life.
"From a very trustworthy source," is all she'll give away, and you cringe.
"Can we change subjects, please?"
Theo narrows his eyes at you, as if he's searching your face for something.
"You don't care about it then? You're not jumping at the chance to ride his broom?"
The Slytherins around you snicker at his euphemism, but you go bright red.
"I- what! Why would you say- no!"
This only makes them laugh harder, but Pansy collects herself enough to place a reassuring hand on your arm.
"Don't worry, we all know our little puff would never."
You slap her hand away, upset at them treating you like a child.
"Well if you guys are only gonna tease me, I'm gonna go back to my own table."
"Y/n, we didn't mean-" Theo starts, but he's still got a smirk on his face, so you ignore him, leaving before he can try and stop you.
You take a seat at your own house table, and the Hufflepuffs around you immediately welcome you into their conversation.
You don't know why it bothered you so much. They were right, you weren't going to be "riding someone's broom" anytime soon, but hearing the way they talked about it— like you were just some silly, innocent baby— really bugged you.
If you were being honest with yourself, you also knew that deep down you've been repressing feelings for Theodore, because you knew enough stories about him to know it would never work. He was a heartthrob, and had no issue finding girls to entertain him at night— to him you were just a little girl. That conversation was just more proof. There's no way he'd be interested in you.
You unintentionally make eye contact with Zacharias Smith when you finally get out of your head, but you immediately look away, turning back to your friends just as Hannah asks about your Christmas plans.
You don't see your Slytherin friends again until Charms class, and Pansy immediately brings up what happened at breakfast.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to feel bad, that's just how we are."
You give her a tight lipped smile, shrugging your shoulders. You've realized that most of the anger came from the realization that Theo probably saw you as a child, not actually their teasing.
"No biggie, it's forgiven."
She eyes you suspiciously but decides not to question it, instead starting to talk about her next party idea until she gets shushed when Professor Flitwick starts explaining directions.
You use the quiet moment to sneak a look at Theo, who's leaned back in his chair smirking at something Draco said next to him.
Pansy turns to you and you quickly shift your focus, but it appears she's already seen you. She gives you a raised eyebrow, and you play dumb, looking back at the teapot on your desk and trying to give it legs.
"What was that about back there?" Pansy asks as the two of you walk out together.
"I know it took me forever to get those stupid legs," you cringe, hoping to throw her off course.
"No I meant your staring."
You try not to look guilty, just shrugging your shoulders and explaining, "figured the boys might have figured it out faster. Should have known better."
She grins at that, muttering "you really should have." But something tells you she doesn't quite believe your story.
Your thoughts are only confirmed the next day when she invites you over to her dorm and then immediately suggests the two of you take veritaserum to play a game of truth or dare.
You let out a sigh.
"I'm not doing that Pans, just ask me whatever you want to know."
She grins, "you know me so well."
"Unfortunately," you tease, and she slaps your arm but asks her question anyway.
"Do you have a crush on Draco?"
Her face drops into confusion when you start laughing hysterically.
"That's what you thought? Merlin, you had me scared for no reason. No Pans, I absolutely do not have a crush on Draco."
She lets out a small sigh of relief, but you can tell she's a little peeved you laughed at her.
"Well what was I supposed to think? You got all grumpy yesterday when we were teasing you about your love life, and then the staring. It was either that or you're secretly in love with Nott, which, lets be for real."
She leaves it at that, but your cheeks flush pink. Be for real what? Be for real, he'd never want you? Be for real, what universe would the two of you work out? Be for real, he hates you?
The thoughts keep coming one after another, and suddenly your vision is blurred.
"Hey, woah, what's wrong?"
You cursed Pansy for being so observant.
"Nothing, I think my allergies are acting up." You say, but there's sadness in your voice, and there's an inch of snow outside, which isn't exactly pollen friendly.
"Don't lie to me y/n."
"I'm sorry for being so stupid and emotional." You cry, and Pansy rubs your back slowly.
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being emotional! You don't see us do it much, but a lot of that's got to do with how we were raised. I wish I felt things as deeply as you do."
Your tears seem to slow, and she smiles.
"Now as for stupid, that depends on where that fit came from."
You look up at her in embarrassment, more hot tears threatening to fill your eyes.
"I... what did you mean?" You ask instead.
"Huh?"
"When you said be for real about me secretly being.." you couldn't bring yourself to say it, as if saying the words would make it true and something you could no longer push away and pretend wasn't there.
Realization dawns on Pansy's face, and she immediately wraps you up in a hug.
"Oh yn, it all makes sense now."
You continue to cry, and she looks at you with what you assume is pity in her eyes.
"I know, I'm such a fool! I know it would never happen, I know half of Hogwarts has a crush on him, I know he'd never want a girl like me." All of the things you'd been keeping to yourself and secretly thinking come spilling out of your mouth, and Pansy rubs your back while you continue to cry.
"Hey don't talk like that! Theo doesn't care about those people, and I know he cares about you. Not to mention, "a girl like you"? You're the exact type of girl that Theo needs. He practically never smiles the way he does when you're around. Just calm down okay?"
You nod through your cries, finally settling down as Pansy throws a magazine at you and the two of you lay across her bed.
Unknowingly, you end up falling asleep, tired from the amount of crying you did. Pansy notices but decides not to wake you, heading down to the common room where the guys would be getting back from quidditch practice soon.
When you wake up the room is dark, and a quick looks around reminds you you're in Pansy's room and not your own. You check the bathroom attached to the dorm, and when no one is in there you head down to the common room, assuming that's where she's gone to.
The whole group is sat on leather couches and armchairs when you make it down the stairs, and you rub the sleep out of your eyes as you approach the group.
"There's our bella addormentata," Theodore purrs, and you immediately flush even though you only understand half of his phrase. (sleeping beauty)
"Sorry for falling asleep." You apologize as you take the seat Pansy offered you, coincidentally landing between her and the reason for your crying.
"Stop apologizing so much," Theo whispers in your ear, and you refuse to look at him in fear of him seeing exactly the effect he has on you. Instead you continue to look at Pansy.
"No biggie, you needed it after that." She says, and you nod.
"After what? What happened?" Draco asked, ever the nosy weasel.
Pansy looked at you, obviously waiting for you to answer so she could go along with whatever you say.
You consider lying, but figure there's no point. They all know you're an emotional person, no one would find it unusual.
"I- uh- cried a little bit. Tired me out."
The boys (that you can see) all nod their heads in understanding and decide to switch topics, finally letting you relax.
However, since you'd turned your back to Theo, that now meant when you leaned back to get comfy you leaned directly into his chest, as he had one arm on the back of the couch behind you.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" You whisper, shooting back up and speaking only to him in an attempt to not draw attention from the others.
"Don't be silly," he says back, pulling your shoulders so you're back in the relaxed position against him, "you're welcome in my arms any day ragazza dolce." (Sweet girl)
You flush red again, but this time you do look up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes.
"You know I have absolutely no idea what you're saying, right?"
He grins, "that's part of the fun."
"Whatever," you turn back away from him to look at the group, your head resting right over his heart, "as long as you're not calling me a troll."
"I promise I'm not." He says, ruffling your hair before the both of you rejoin the main conversation.
"Zacharias Smith was at our practice today," Draco tells Pansy, and she looks at him in surprise.
"Really? Maybe he was looking for yn. She does sometimes keep me company in the stands."
"Oh he definitely was." Blaise smirks, and you feel Theo tense behind you. "Walked right up to Theo and asked where the pretty little one we're always hanging out with was."
"What?" Pansy shrieks, looking over, although you're unsure if the intentional target was you or the boy behind you. Her eyes momentarily widen at seeing your position before she notices something and smirks.
"Theo," she drawls, "I didn't notice those cuts on your knuckles earlier, is that new?"
Everyone turns to look at Theo, and you sit up in alarm, turning to look at his hand that's laying behind your spot on the couch.
"Theo! What happened? Why didn't you go get this checked out?"
He averts his eyes from your gaze. "Just wasn't thinking about it," he shrugs.
You frown. "How could you not be thinking about it, that looks painful!"
He shrugs again, grimacing when you grab his hand, insisting he let you heal it.
"Just let me go get my wand okay? I left it in Pansy's room."
You get up to leave, and with your back turned you don't see Pansy whisper to Theo and then him get up and follow you.
"I'll just come with." He announces, following you back to your friends room.
You try not to think about the intimacy of being alone with Theo while you tend to his wounds, trying once again to shove all your feelings down far in your heart.
Thankfully none of Pansy's roommates had come back, and Theo sits on her bed while you grab your wand from her nightstand before standing in between his spread legs.
"Give me your hand."
He complies, and you try not to blush at the warmth of his, much bigger, hand resting on your own.
"This is nasty Theo, did you punch a wall or something?" You ask, beginning to heal a few of the cuts. Luckily most of them were clean from where he'd washed them when he showered after practice, but they were scabbed over and his knuckles were blue with beginning to form bruises.
He lets out an amused huff of laughter and you stop your ministrations, looking up at him immediately.
"Tell me you didn't actually punch a wall."
He shrugs, "it was either that or Smith, and I know you don't like when I get into fights."
You feel yourself heat up. He didn't hit someone because of your preference, and the person just happened to be the guy who supposedly has a crush on you.
"Well I'm glad you didn't send my housemate to the hospital wing at least, although I wish you wouldn't have hurt yourself," you sigh, continuing to heal his hands.
Out of nowhere he pulls it away.
"Theo?"
"Look, I-" he cards a hand through his hair, contemplating his next words. "I didn't like it that Smith came looking for you. Especially that he asked me."
You look at him in confusion, "what? Why?"
He looks distraught, but he can't help the crooked smile that etches itself on his face.
"You're damn oblivious, you know that?"
You continue to look at him, no thoughts behind your eyes.
"Uh, I mean I guess? I've been told that a few times, though I'm not sure how it's pertinent to this situation."
Suddenly Theo's hands are on your cheeks, and his face is inches from your own.
"What- what are you doing?"
"I want to kiss you." He states plainly, as if it's the most normal thing in the world— as if the five words didn't have you spiraling out of control.
"Wait- do you want to kiss me because you think I'm like pretty or do you want to kiss me because you like me?"
You'd never even thought he would consider you pretty, but at his words you had to rethink a lot of things you thought you knew.
"I like you, amorina." (Little love)
"Really?" You know you should be celebrating, but you can't help the doubt that creeps into your mind. "You don't think I'm a silly, innocent, little Hufflepuff?"
He grins, "you can be my silly little Hufflepuff. And no I don't care that you're not jumping at the opportunity to go broom hopping."
You can't help but laugh a his phrasing, but you're glad he knew what you meant.
"I like you, amorina, I don't care about anything else, as long as I get you."
You smile, and Theo swears he could die happy if it's the last thing he sees.
"Well in that case, I want you to kiss me too."
He can barely hold back his own smile as he places his lips on yours, cradling your jaw with one hand while the other holds your hip.
He kissed you gently, not at all like what you'd expected, but you feel his adoration flowing out of it, and you can't help but break it to let out a giggle.
"And to think I was crying over you a few hours ago."
He grins, standing up and grabbing your hand to walk back down to the common room together, where your friends were waiting for you to go to dinner.
"No more crying over me okay?"
You nod your head, and he pulls you in for one more kiss before you rejoin the rest of your friends.
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cookinguptales · 1 year
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Now that the post is over 10k and my notes are straight-up unusable...
One thing I wish I'd spelled out more explicitly in the original post because I see this point getting lost on a lot of rebloggers who don't understand why the healthcare thing was such a big deal is like
The subtext I thought would be understood bc I lived back then but apparently has been lost today is that making sure queer employees and their partners had healthcare in the early 90s meant Disney was paying for a lot of AIDS treatment.
This is one reason fundie Christians were so upset and queer employees were so grateful. It's one reason why it was such a controversial decision. It was a major talking point amongst my family, who believed back then that AIDS was a punishment from God.
(Some still do, I think. We don't talk.)
I keep seeing people saying that Disney only chose that option "because of their bottom line" and it's like??? Were you listening??? Disney has been paying for that decision for literally decades, but they've stood by it.
Like... the 90s weren't like now! It wasn't profitable to cater to the queer population of the country back then. They weren't raking in money with this.
It's in no way a perfect company but I fully believe in criticizing people for the specific things they do wrong and praising them for the specific things they do right. Disney has fucked copyright, monopoly, and labor laws and I'm not about to defend that. But they are well known in FL for being friendly to both queer people and disabled people, and that is unambiguously a good thing.
(Like side note, I could talk about Disney and accessibility for days. I have traveled extensively while disabled and no one does it like Disney.)
I've had people reblogging the post like "I straight-up don't believe Disney is an industry leader in equal protections for queer employees" and it's like ??? do you think I just pulled this out of my ass? If you want more information, go look it up! You'll see that this is well-established history. It's not my fault y'all don't read! :|
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Huh.
#doll#i think. he might be startin to let me in a little bit.#yea yea i know he could be fakin it but he's only ever done that when i've been really upset n on the verge of leavin#(assuming that was fake either but it was at least calculated)#& he'd have to be gettin desperate to start fakin vulnerability to this extent#i've been so completely infatuated for a couple of days now again that it wouldn't fit the pattern at all#especially with the way he's...sayin the kinda things that he knows played a part in me becomin more independent to begin with#tellin me i really should have reaper get me outta there if he gets out of control again n doesn't listen when i ask him to stop#even though he hates the thought of someone else protectin me. he can deal with it when it's somewhere he can't do it (like out here) but#if he's there but not doin it so someone else needs to? he looked. really upset about it. cause apparently that's his job#upset with himself not me (or reaper. who he only referred to as 'that guy' sgsgsgsg)#& talkin about how it's not fair the way the only people men like him can really be with are ones like me. cause if it's someone more like#them that fights back n doesn't put up with their shit it's just mutually toxic n everyone's secretly miserable#but when it's someone like me we get hurt so that they can get better. when we really should be w/ someone good n kind n safe#said i shouldn't be the one to pay the price for that. but i'm his 'only shot at getting better' n he doesn't wanna let me go#n it was. a lot. he's never talked about 'gettin better' before. just 'learning how to take care of me right'#but up til now he's always rejected the idea that he'd even need to get better. that there's anythin to heal.#i mean. i'm stayin as long as it looks like he's makin progress. or til he relapses enough times to burn me out completely n i go dormant#that was always the plan. i'm just slowly gettin better at keepin my distance when he's back to his old ways#i just.....really wish he'd stop self sabotaging n talkin about himself the way he does. like ok you wanna be bad then be bad but#stop actin like you're too far gone n all the shit you say about yourself is so built in you can't change em even if you want to#not with that attitude you can't!#spdrvent
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mr-ribbit · 7 months
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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
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Do you think it's weird that I was fine with Roxas finding out he was Sora's Nobody in Kingdom Hearts, but Adrien not being what we thought he was triggered my ick factor a lot? Do you think it's because we learned that about Roxas before we had a lot of time to get attached to him?
I was initially going to say that I can't answer this because I've only played Kingdom Hearts 1, so my knowledge of the later games is pretty limited. Then I remembered that my little brother is both obsessed with those games and the Mycroft to my Sherlock*, so I gave him a call and got the expert opinion (and a reminder that I need to play the Kingdom Hearts games so that my brother can talk about them with someone who understands story telling because those games apparently make a lot of... interesting choices.)
Here is the sum of my brother's analysis:
The two properties handled the concept of personhood and artificial beings in such wildly different ways that it would never even occur to him to compare them (though it was an interesting question once posed). A good portion of the later Kingdom Hearts games revolve around asking what a person even is. Should they try to make the Nobodies into people? Do the Nobodies even need to change to be people or are they people already? What makes Roxas different from other Nobodies? These questions start being asked very early on and, for all the story's flaws, you can tell that the writers are aware that they're dealing with a serious topic and that they're trying to do it justice.
Meanwhile, Miraculous introduces artificial beings who don't have true free will and then... completely ignores all of the ethical implications of that plot point. Emilie and Gabriel are good parents. The fact that the heroes have been killing off sentimonsters isn't concerning. Gabriel's commands are just a minor inconvenience to Adrienette and not anything that needs to be explored in a deeper way. He's still totally redeemable and it's fine that Adrien never learned the truth while his father was alive so that he could decide what that meant for their relationship on his own terms.
Given all of that, it's really not shocking that Kingdom Hearts makes you feel invested while Miraculous repulses you because the Miraculous introduced human sentimonsters for cheap shock value to the point where I firmly believe that it was a retcon. Meanwhile Kingdom Hearts planned major elements of the plot around the concept and set it up right from the start of the second game. If Miraculous had done the same kind of thing, then I doubt that most salters would be deeply upset by the concept. They still might dislike it, but it would be seen more as a matter of taste than as a true flaw.
*For those who don't know, Mycroft Holmes is Sherlock Holmes' older brother. Sherlock openly admits that Mycroft is the smarter and more observant of the two siblings. The same can be said of my sibling when it comes to story telling. Everything I can do, he can do just as well or even better. He's never seen miraculous, but knows the major plot beats from a mix of cultural osmosis and reading the occasional fanfic when an author he likes crosses fandoms. He is highly amused that no one he follows does anything save for fix-it type stuff and says it tells him everything he needs to know about canon's writing quality, an assessment I fully agree with.
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fellthemarvelous · 10 days
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Jedi and attachment
The Jedi Order was around 25,000 years old when it fell at the end of the Clone Wars.
And I've seen people say "the Jedi don't teach emotional regulation" I guess because there are some Jedi who fell, but like, the number of Jedi who didn't fall far outweighs the number of Jedi who did fall.
And that's not to say that Jedi never made mistakes, but none of them gave into their anger and fear and hatred. Mistakes are normal, even for Jedi. Failure is the greatest teacher. They were apparently able to regulate their emotions well enough to actually learn from their mistakes and grow.
I'm not sure which part of "the life of a Jedi is not easy" isn't exactly translating well for some people.
What do people think Qui-Gon meant when he told Anakin being a Jedi would be challenging?
As Yoda said, it is a lifelong struggle not to allow fear to bend into anger. Fear leads to anger leads to hate leads to suffering. The Jedi never stop learning.
The reason they avoid attachments is because attachments distract them from the bigger picture, from their purpose. They are protectors and defenders of life, and they cannot be picky about who they choose to help, regardless of personal feelings.
As Obi-Wan has said, Jedi do not hold grudges. They cannot. They can be upset, yes, but they are given the tools to handle their emotions and often utilize them.
Anakin damned an entire galaxy when he fell to the dark side. The Jedi are not to blame for Anakin's fall. Anakin made his choice, and while he spent thirteen years being groomed by Palpatine, he made the choice to follow Darth Sidious.
ANAKIN FELL BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES HE MADE.
He is the one who slaughtered Jedi younglings. He's the one who slaughtered the Separatist leaders, and even though they were the enemy, they were defenseless and trapped in a room with the most powerful being in the galaxy after being sent there by Sidious and Grievous.
The reason the Jedi were so hesitant to accept him into the Jedi Order was because of his age. He was attached to his mother and his anger over her death is what caused him to slaughter an entire colony of Tusken Raiders. He didn't do it out of love. He did it out of hatred, and revenge is not the Jedi way.
It is not the fault of the Jedi that Anakin could not properly regulate his own emotions. He lied to the Jedi for three years. He hid his relationship with Padme, so how was Yoda supposed to know how to help him properly when he didn't have the full context? Of course his advice seemed bad because Anakin was not being forthcoming about the nature of his relationship with Padme. Yoda did not have a complete picture of Anakin's anxieties at the time, and while you can teach someone how to do something, you cannot control how they put the teachings into practice. You can only hope and trust that they are doing the right thing.
And the thing is, the Jedi would have helped Anakin and Padme. Yoda and Obi-Wan loved Anakin. We saw several instances of just how much Yoda cared about Anakin, especially so at the end of season six of the Clone Wars.
Anakin betrayed the entire Jedi Order because he allowed his fears to consume him. He participated in the genocide of the order he had been part of for thirteen years just to save the life of ONE PERSON who ended up dying anyway BECAUSE of him.
No one has ever said the Jedi Order is perfect because there is no such thing as perfect, but they were not ever the villains. They were never the bad guys. They were pulled into a war orchestrated by Darth Sidious who weaponized the compassion of the Jedi as a way to destroy the order.
When you look at the handful of Jedi who fell and claim that the Jedi "don't teach emotional regulation" you're just erasing all personal accountability from the fallen Jedi WHO MADE THEIR CHOICES.
There is only ONE Jedi (that I am aware of) who fell to the dark side involuntarily, and that was Ahsoka Tano. She was corrupted against her will and then killed. Anakin was able to resurrect her, and while he did a good thing, it only made his fear of losing her again even worse.
Maul murdered Satine and forced Obi-Wan to watch, but Obi-Wan managed to control his emotions and not go on a killing spree. He actually held a dying Maul in his arms. Ahsoka was failed by the Jedi Order, but she didn't fall to the dark side. Yoda lived for 900 years and never once fell to the dark side.
There are a variety of factors that went into Anakin's fall, but he is the one who made the choice to do the monstrous things he did. He was not being mind controlled. He had Jedi training, but he threw all of that away for one person. He gambled the fate of the galaxy on the belief that Palpatine would help him save Padme from dying, knowing that Palpatine was a Sith Lord and knowing that he was the one who was actually responsible for the war. He made a selfish choice at the expense of everyone else in the galaxy and the only person who won in the end was Darth Sidious. It was the biggest lesson that Anakin ever learned.
This is not a failure of "teaching emotional regulation". This is the failure of someone who allowed his personal feelings to overshadow his Jedi training, and he is responsible for the consequences of his own actions.
End note: This is not an Anakin Skywalker bashing post. I love Anakin Skywalker, but he absolutely is to blame for his fall to the dark side. He's a fascinating character. I could write a whole ass separate post on why I love him so much. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is an icon.
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cyn-write · 6 months
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"Waited All Night..."
Prompt - NRC is in upheaval. A video of Yuu singing a song has been circling around the school about her being "bewitched," and everyone is trying to figure out by who. Yuu is embarrassed and upset about her private song being the subject of gossip, so she decides to hide from everyone only for her crush to find her and reveal he has been "bewitched," by her...
Pairings - Savannaclaw x F!Yuu (Separate)
Warnings - FLUFFF; Incredibly shy Yuu; stagefright (Yuu again); swearing (mainly by Leona); Spoilers for book 3 (Jack's part)
Song Prompt - "Bewitched" by Laufey
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Prologue - Heartsyble - Savannaclaw (Here) - Octavinelle - Scarabia - Pomefiore - Ignanhyde - Diasmonia
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Leona hated the fact that he couldn't get to Yuu. He tried calling her but she didn't answer, he tried going to Ramshackle but the ghost kept him out, and when she didn't show to any of her classes or to clubs that is when his patience broke. He knew the Yuu had feelings for him and was waiting for the right time. When the song came out, he knew the time was now and he had to get her out of the stampped of gossip.
He was in an irritable mood for most of the day and by the end of it, Ruggie was ready to snap Leona's neck. Anytime Leona heard her name or the song or head and tail of the betting pot, he would snap at the closes person to him... which was often Ruggie. The last straw was the absolutely grueling Spelldrive Practice. He worked them harder than Vargas ever would and by the time it was over, half the team was crawling back to their dorms. Ruggie stayed to "help" clean up, but he had anterior motives. Leona was toweling off after showering, still scowling from hearing the guys discussing "the pot." apparently there was a lot of money on names that weren't his... but also the sum on his name was hefty. "Go." Ruggie said, done with the grumbling mess. "What?" Leona spat back. "Go. To Yuu. I'm done with this- whatever this is." Ruggie gestured to Leona, "You've been in an awful mood all day and taking it out on everyone around you. Namely ME. So Go. Talk to her. and PICK SOME DAISES. I don't care what it takes. But if you keep acting like this, I promise to make your life a living Hell if you keep all this bottled up." Leona knew Ruggie meant and could keep that promise. And that is what he needed to hear. "Fine." Leona threw his shirt on and grabbed his bag before leaving. "But If I hear your name anywhere near winning 'the pot', You're a deadman." "Wouldn't dream of it!" Ruggie chuckled as Leona made his way to Ramshackle. He had no clue what he was going to say. but he had to say something. By the time he made it to her door, Leona debated just barging in... but he knew if he did that it would make her even more scared than she already was. He knocked and called for her, when she didn't answer, decided to say what came to his heart; "Herbavior... let me it... I wanted to tell you this sooner or later but... I've been bewitched by you for a while now."
Leona was growing tired of waiting. He had to see her, he had to know how she felt, he had to fight for the one thing he was not going to let pass him by. As he reached his hand out to the know, the door opened.
On the other side, Yuu looked completely exhausted and relieved. She looked into his eyes and asked him, "You mean it? Truely?"
Leona sighed and said, "I won't repeat myself again. So listen." He placed his outstretched hand on her cheek. "I like you. Herbavior. A lot. You're my favorite pillow and one of the few people I can stand being around. But you drive me crazy at the same time." He looked into her doe eyes and closed the gap between him. "So I need to know. Your song. Do you mean it?"
Yuu placed her small hand on top of his and her eyes pricked with tears, "I wrote that song to work out my feelings... for you."
Leona never felt more relieved. He gave Yuu a smug smile and caressed her cheek with his thumb, "I knew it."
He leaned down and claimed her lips. After waiting around patiently, listening to the chatter of his classmates, and getting radio silence for a day, he finally had her in his arms. She wanted him. No one else.
When they parted he placed his forehead on hers. He finally saw her smiling and she had a blush on her cheeks that boosted Leona's ego. "I'm guessing you liked the song?"
"What do you think?" Leona chuckled, "I was hoping to hear it in person..."
That made Yuu divert her gaze and turn around, facing her back to Leona. "I-I... I would love to but... n-not yet..."
He could smell how nervous she was. Ever the smooth prince, Leona wrapped his arms around her mid-section and nestled his head into the crook of her neck. "I'm a patient lion. I'll wait as long as you need me to, herbivore."
Leona walked her to the bed and plopped down with her in his arms. And for the first time today, Leona and Yuu were able to nap.
Leona knew it would take time for her to become comfortable enough to share her voice, and thankfully he was a very patient man. The two spent a lot of time together, and after seeing Leona's arm around Yuu's shoulders all the vultures flew away and Ruggie became very happy. Leona was a lot easier to find, and Spelldrive practices became bearable again! In his opinion, Leona and Yuu getting together made Ruggie a very happy Hyena.
Over time, Yuu began to show Leona some of her songs and hum them, but nothing more. Until one evening after Spelldrive practice, Leona was lying in bed using Yuu like a pillow while she mindlessly played with his hair. The moment was peaceful, and Yuu was mindlessly humming. Leona was about to drift to sleep when he got a pleasant surprise, Yuu began to sing, "While You Were Sleeping,"
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Ruggie has an uneasy feeling in his gut all day. He was doing laundry when he heard some of his dormmates talking about Yuu's song, and his heart sunk. He knew Yuu had terrible stagefright, she told him this when directly when they were both doing chores the other day. He tried to call her and text her to see if she was alright but she left him unread. He listened to her song before bed the night before, and his gut began to twist.
He wanted to check on her, but she never showed up to class or clubs. What was worse was hearing the debates. Everyone was taking their bets and at times he would hear his name in the midst:
"It HAS to be Ruggie. They are always together! I saw them doing laundry like an old married couple the other day!" One of the Savannaclaw Underclassman pointed out. This made Ruggie start to blush and his stomach feel light.
Then, a scarbia student pointed out big wall in his way that has kept him from pursuing anything beyond a friendship with Yuu: "Why would she pick Ruggie when she has Kalim asking for her hand? Why choose a pauper when she could have a prince?"
That comment has been haunting him for weeks. Ever since he realized he liked Yuu as more than a friend. He had been able to brush off the feelings for a long time, but Yuu's song and the debate around it made him confront these feelings. He spent the day in a daze and out of it. He got his work done, but he nearly ran into a pillar twice that day and almost walked square into Jack.
During Club, it got dangerous as he nearly got hit in the head with a disk if not for Leona. Leona pulled Ruggie aside and called him out. He knew Ruggie has been crushing on Yuu, it was plane to see, but he also knew Ruggie's dilemma and was sick of it.
Leona dragged Ruggie into the locker room and threw him his duffle bag, "Go."
"What?" Ruggie thought he was being thrown off the team for a second.
"Do I need to spell it out for you?" Leona was incredibly annoyed and shook his head, "G. O. to HER." Ruggie just looked flabbergasted at his dorm leader. "B-but-" "If you give me that 'I'm too poor' bullshit again, I will knock your head in." Leona pinched his brow before grabbing his wallet and throwing a bundle of cash at his friend, "You work to the bone. You deserve to be happy. She makes you happy and she is happy with you. I can smell the attraction between the two of you and if I have to hear you whine about it or make dopey eyes at her one more hades-damned time. I will lock you two in a room and make you work it out." Leona sounded threatening, but Ruggie knew this was Leona's way of 'encouragement'. The lion-beastman walked past Ruggie and opened the locker room door before looking back at him. "If you are here by the time I get back and not taking Yuu out to a nice dinner. I swear you will be doing all of the teams laundry until you do." Then stormed out. Ruggie just sat there shocked before looking down at the cash in his lap. He could only smile. Leona may not show it often, but he does care. He decided to shower really quick before leaving for Ramshackle. On his way, he tried to think of what to say, and still even after stopping by Sam to get dinner, he had no idea by the time he got to her door. He hesitated to knock but just spoke what came to him in the moment. "Yuu. I know I'm not the... best choice. I don't have anything in the prospects of money or career besides Leona's runner, but... you've bewitched me and I don't want to get out from your spell..."
Everything was still, and Ruggies heart was teetering on the edge of breaking. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe the fleeting moments were just made up in his head. Maybe Leona was lying. Maybe she loved someone else...
He was about to walk away when he heard her move towards the door and twist the handle. As the door opened, he saw Yuu look at him with tear-stained eyes and a slightly agape mouth. "Do you mean it?" Yuu asked holding the door tightly, "You... feel the same?"
Ruggie nodded. His heart was beating out of his chest, his stomach was twisting in knots, but he pushed through those things and was able to give her a small smile, "I do. Every word." He scratched the back of his head and looked at himself then at her, "I know I don't have much, but I will work hard to give you the life you deserve." He looked her in the eyes and took a deep breath before professing his feelings, "I will work hard to be with you because you make me forget my situation for a moment. When we... when we walk together, do chores together, or even just hang out, I feel like a normal student for once instead of the hyena at the end of the food chain... So please," He reaches out and takes her hand in his, squeezing it gently and smiling sweetly, "please give me a chance?"
Yuu stared at him for a moment. She looked like she was about to cry again and Ruggie was readying an apology when she surprised him. She stepped forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
Ruggie tensed for a second before melting into the kiss. He dropped the bag of food in his one hand and used it to gently hold the small of her back while the other still held her hand. She adjusted the position of her hand to lace her fingers with his and deepen the kiss.
They eventually parted and she was finally smiling. "Is that a good enough answer for you?" She asked with a coy grin.
Ruggie's signature smile returned to his face for the first time today. "Shishishi, I don't know, maybe I need to hear it one more time?~" This time he leaned in and kissed her deeply. She let go of the door and looped her arms around his shoulders this time.
It didn't last as long since Yuu's stomach interrupted the kiss.
Ruggie leaned back and chuckled again, "Someone hungry? Guess I made the right call." He crouched down, picked up the bag, and held it up, "Chicken sound good?"
Yuu nodded and giggled, "Sounds delicious!"
The rest of the evening, Ruggie felt like he was dreaming. Between a nice dinner, snuggling on the couch, and her falling asleep on him as they watched some TV, he didn't want to wake up.
Ruggie has never been happier. He and Yuu spent as much time as they could together between school, work, and chores. The gossip halted quickly as Ruggie made it clear the SHE chose HIM. Leona was also a smug ass for the week after and would throw smug comments at the two in the vain of "finally," and "You're welcome," that even though they annoyed Ruggie, he was grateful to his friend.
It took a while for Yuu to feel comfortable enough to show Ruggie her notebook, and it was even longer for her to start humming. Sometimes, when they are doing laundry, dishes, or some other chores alone together, Ruggie and Yuu would hum or softly sing together to pass the time. Until one night, after a particularly rough week, Ruggies was enjoying a rare night in with Yuu. They were snuggled together on Yuu's bed, just enjoying eachothers embrace. He was enjoying the peace, and Yuu's humming turned into singing, "Dandelions"
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Jack was on edge all day. From the the gossip that surrounded him to his friend (who he has had a crush on since the octanvinelle situation) disappearing and ignoring all attempts at contact, Jack felt cornered all day. Anytime someone brought up Yuu's song or the bet going on, Jack's hair would stand on end and he would get tense. Epel, Ruggie, and Leona all knew Jack had a huge crush on Yuu for a while and the former two would ask him if he was alright and check in on him all day which only proceeded to annoy him. When Jack saw Grim, he had to contain himself from punching the cat. He betrayed Yuu's trust and privacy, he hurt Yuu, and Jack wanted to protect her but he had no clue how. Due to this energy and rage being pent up for most of the day, Jack was like a cornered canine all day. He snapped at his classmates, his friends, and what got him was snapping at VIL. Jack was jogging around the school and down the main street where the Film Club was shooting a scene. They were packing up for the day and Vil was talking to an Ignanhyde student about something or other. Jack was distracted trying to think about anything other than Yuu and ran into Vil accidentally. Due to Jack's size, he knocked Vil into the Fairest Queen Statue behind him. "JACK!" Vil called and dusted himself off with grace. Jack stopped and bowed, his ears flattening, "Vil, I-I am sorry." The Ignanhyde student was frozen in place and looked Jack up and down. Vil looked at the student and gestured for him to leave, which his clubmate appreciated. "I didn't see you there. I'm so sorry." Vil looked at his childhood friend and sharpened his gaze, "It's alright." He nods for the underclassman to follow him behind the statue. Once out of sight, Vil crossed his arms and asked, "What is going on? According to Epel, you have been on edge all day. It isn't like you to not keep an eye on your surroundings." Jack shook his head and said, "It's nothing. I'm fine." Vil stepped closer and tilted his head, "It's Yuu isn't it?" Jack's cheeks went red and he looked away. "No." Vil kept pushing Jack as he knew the freshman was lying. He knew he pushed the right button when he said, "You're in love with her aren't you?" "WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE IT!" Jack snapped at the upperclassman and immediately regretted it. Vil wasn't phased but had a stern look on his face, "Jack. Because you are a good friend of mine I am going to let that go. But listen to what I say and take it to heart." Vil's tone was sharp and the beastman listened intently, "Go find her and tell her how you feel before it is too late." His eyes softened and he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Yuu is a shy person and you obviously have very strong feelings for her and a desire to protect her. She is probably scared right now and needs someone to lean on. Go to her and do what you do best. Make her feel safe." Jack rubbed the back of his neck and felt small, "But what if... what if she doesn't feel the same?" Vil sighs and says, "You don't know she doesn't until you try." Jack nodded and released some of the tension in his body. "Thanks, Vil." The Pomefiore Dorm leader nodded and released the freshman in the direction of Ramshackle. Jack jogged over to the dilapidated building and was finally able to get inside. He stood in front of Yuu's door, took a deep breath, and let his heart speak. "Yuu... I'm here for you and always will be... I don't want you to feel any pressure, but I need to get this off my chest... I-I... ever since you saved everyone from Azul's contracts, you... I've been bewitched... by you."
Jack's tail never stopped wagging for the next few weeks. Anytime Yuu's scent was in the air or they were sitting together, his tail would give away his joy at having her near. The other first years did point this out (Ace), but he didn't care, and Yuu found it endearing. Vil smiled when he saw the two and Jack thanked him personally saying that he always knew they were meant for each other (Rook and Vil had known about the two's mutual feelings for a long time now, but it wasn't their place to tell).
Jack felt incredibly self-concise about his size, his hair, his smell... everything. He had no clue how to stand, where to put his hands, and his heart was beating out of his chest. He felt like he was standing there for hours and debated leaving when he heard footsteps on the other side. He looked up in time for Yuu to open the door. He looked directly in her beautiful doe eyes and saw a glint of hope.
She stood there silent for a moment, both of them searching for words. When words failed to come, Yuu hugged him. Her small frame fit snug against him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and the back of her head. He held her with such gentleness as if he was scared to break her.
Jack needed no words to express his feelings, he expressed them in the way he held her close. His large hand cradled her head and stroked it with such love. His lips barely grazed the top of her head, but that is all that was needed. He loved her. He wanted to protect her. And no words could express how much he felt for her, and no words were needed. She knew how he felt.
"... I love you too Jack ..." Yuu said softly and it made Jack's heart jump again.
His tail began to wag and a smile graced his lips. His large hand moved to her cheek and gently guided her to look at him. He stroked her soft cheek with his calloused hand and leaned his forehead against hers, "I know I am not much for words but... I promise, I'll protect you, no matter what comes our way. And I will love you with all my being."
"I know," Yuu smiled, "and so will I,"
With that, the two leaned in and sealed their promise of devotion with a tender kiss.
Eventually, Yuu had gotten comfortable enough with Jack to work on her songs while he was in the room. It was a random Thursday night, Jack was working on homework and Yuu was working on her songs. She caught Jack by surprise when she asked him his opinion on a song. He put down his homework and agreed to listen. He curled up behind her and listened as she sang the song she had been working on the past couple of weeks, all while Jack's tail lightly wagged on the side of the bed; "Lovesick"
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genshin-obsessed · 1 month
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Breaking Up hcs | Genshin & HSR
Have I done this before? I know I made that "what if we broke up?" post but I don't think I've done break up hcs before? I hope not anyway cuz i'm doing them now! Also, maybe I went overboard a little cuz even I felt bad lol and I usually don't feel sad when I write angst.
Characters: Aether, Diluc, Wanderer, Caelus, Jing Yuan, and Aventurine (lol I'ma try)
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☽ Aether
That break up took a toll on him, more so than even he thought at first. Sleeping became his least favorite activity because he was constantly seeing your faces in his dreams. Constantly.
The entirety of Teyvat fell apart for the short time their favorite errand boy refused to do anything for them. Honestly, Aether didn't do anything for the first week or so. He was barely eating, barely sleeping, barely alive.
It was hard adventuring too, Paimon no longer wanted him to go because sometimes he'd just get distracted and take unnecessary hits. It was kinda bad. Eventually, she got Katheryne to no longer give him any combat requests because he just wasn't doing good enough.
All he wanted to do was talk to you, but you didn't want to talk to him, so that led him to just remaining in his teapot alone. He didn't even allow visitors for a short while. Paimon did her best to try and comfort him, but there were so few words that could actually get through that sorrow he was dealing with.
It took maybe a month before he allowed people to come visit him and under no circumstances were they allowed to bring you up. Mainly because he'd cry. Everyone did try in their own way to help him, even people like Wanderer or Arlecchino tried to give him some "words of wisdom". It... didn't work mainly because Aether wasn't receptive to it anymore.
☽ Diluc
He really did busy himself with work like he said he would. It's almost all hours of the day. He's rarely even seen at home anymore.
Ironically, Diluc is still very careful about getting hurt because if he did, then he'd need to remain at home and be on bed rest and he genuinely couldn't handle that.
He no longer sleeps in his bed either. Usually, he comes home later, collapses on the couch for a few hours until some dream about you wakes him up and he's back to work. He can't stand sleeping in that bed because you used to lay right beside him.
No one, I mean no one, is allowed to even say your name. Truth be told, Diluc is barely hanging on by a thread, someone saying your name and bringing your image to his mind's eye would ruin him.
Even Kaeya doesn't tease him. Actually, Kaeya keeps away because Diluc is quite irritable and not many people wanted to deal with that. While they understood the break up upset him... it was just too much.
☽ Wanderer
Oh boy. Breaking up with him was hard because he was angry and yelling (at the situation apparently), and just saying no. Eventually though, he relented and agreed. You didn't want to be with him and... well, it wasn't right to force you.
The aftermath was pretty bad. He was angry, didn't want to talk to anyone, and just up and vanished for a while. It wasn't until Aether and Paimon accidentally stumbled upon him while adventuring that they learned a little about what happened.
(W/n) explained that he never thought he'd lose you. Out of all the people he was "friendly" with, he never thought you would up and leave the way you did. It broke his heart- a heart he didn't even know started beating again.
Aether offered for (w/n) to join him on some adventures to just take his mind off of things and he, surprisingly, agreed. But it wasn't the same. Both Paimon and Aether noticed the lack of energy.
He was also constantly in his own mind. Most conversations happened between Aether and Paimon because (w/n) would just mentally check out and not even be paying attention. He didn't break down and cry physically but emotionally, he was a wreck. But it was so bad, he didn't know what to do. Cry, scream, try and take over the world, he didn't know.
What he did know was that the world didn't feel right without you.
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☆ Caelus
You lived on the Astral Express with him and the others. Everyone thought you were the cutest couple and everywhere you went, you two received the same compliments. So, he definitely fell apart a little when you just up and ended the relationship.
The worst part was that he couldn't have time away from you. Not in the mean sense, but if you two were breaking up, he needed (for his own mental health) not to see you every single day. But... that wasn't possible.
It was extremely awkward for everyone on board. Welt and Himeko tried their best to keep things normal, the conductor did their best to keep conversations going, and Dan Heng just didn't bother coming out of his room. Caelus took a page from Dan Heng's books and just locked himself away for like two weeks.
When it was finally time for him to come out, he took time off of the express, choosing to go visit some old friends to regain some of that normalcy. Jarilo VI was where he spent most of his time as he hadn't been there in a while. He stayed there without the others for maybe two or so weeks, finding ample time to spend with Natasha, Seele, Bronya, Serval, and Gepard.
While he didn't openly state you two broke up, everyone knew. He did go and visit the Xianzhou which Dan Heng did join him in doing which was a good bonding experience for the two. It was when he finally opened up about losing you. According to Caelus, everything felt so wrong. Like a part of him was missing and that part was so close to his reach. But every single day, he had to pretend like it wasn't.
☆ Jing Yuan
He really didn't know what to do at the moment. He kinda stopped paying attention after you said you wanted to end the relationship. He tried to convince you otherwise, saying that breaking up wouldn't give him the chance to fix it but you were pretty adamant. He couldn't just say no... so he said ok and you were gone.
He tried to act normal. He did his job normally for the first day and that's when it all started to fall apart. The second he had time alone, it just hit him so painfully. You thought him losing his old friends was painful? This was a whole new level.
The second day, he couldn't really perform his duties as well and just handed them off to the first person he saw. Yanqing was most worried and desperately tried to get anyone's help because he didn't know what to do. It led him straight to the Astral Express and unsurprisingly, no one knew what to do.
Jing Yuan didn't even want help, honestly. He'd been hurting for years carrying the memories he did, so what was one more painful one? Maybe it was some sort of divine justice? Jing Yuan wasn't the most upstanding man, right? So he probably deserved this. What right did he have to just go and fix it?
Caelus did end up finding him out and about once, having the chance to share tea with Jing Yuan. The general explained he didn't know how to fix anything anymore. While it wasn't healthy to live life this way, it was his punishment probably. Caelus' concern led him to ask that burning question: why?
"I should've done better. Treated them better... maybe then... I'd still have them."
☆ Aventurine
He almost didn't register the words that came out of your mouth. You... break up with him? You were talking, explaining why, but he couldn't really follow. It's like his brain just stopped working and all he could think was 'this wasn't supposed to happen'.
At the end of it, you were gone and he was alone. Aventurine expected betrayal in his line of work, but he never expected it from you. Your "deal" with him was special. It wasn't like his normal deals. It was one that you two emerged equally victorious and no one lost anything. Right?
Even Ratio had pity for him. Aventurine waltzed around as if nothing happened but there was such a dramatic shift in his personality. He said the same things he always did, he acted as if he always did, but there was a distinct bitterness when he spoke of being let down.
When he told people to make use of him, there was a hint of resentment laced in his words. While he claimed he expected to be exploited at some point, there was still a twinge of fear. It never hurt before but for some reason, it scared him now.
He did briefly open up to Ratio, who was just berating him as usual, and it even took him by surprise. Aventurine didn't say much, but he did say how he figured everyone in the world to want to set him on fire for one reason or another. He just didn't expect it would be you to light the flame. Veritas called him an idiot and said you had every right to leave, which Aventurine wholeheartedly agreed with.
You did have every right to leave. You just didn't have the right to take whatever made him feel normal.
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thekatebridgerton · 3 months
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HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY DID TO MICHAEL STIRLING?!
I haven't seen part 2 yet but I definitely saw the spoilers on my dashboard. And for all that its worth, I'm really sad about it right now.
I've seen a lot of posts invalidating the feelings of book fans by saying things along the lines of 'if you don't like Michaela Stirling you're ...you guessed it a #BadPerson' and I'm trying to process which person's feelings matter and don't matter in a world where those same people preach acceptance and support. I want my feelings to matter, I want to be allowed to be sad about the fact that this character I was looking forward to seeing is no longer going to be on screen. But the truth is a lot of people keep saying that my sadness and sorrow is invalid shaming people who feel like I do with all the self righteousness of a pastor in church. because apparently not liking the genderbeding of Michael Stirling makes me a #RaginghaterOfMinorities.
And lets be clear, everyone can say what they want, but book Michael Stirling is not going to be on screen, his story was too emeshed with the gender roles of the era, for a genderbent take to not strip and reorder the character's motivations and major plot lines in order to make him a woman. Michaela Stirling is for all intents and purposes a new and improved character. More power to her.
Still that doesn't take away the fact that I am sad and disappointed that Michael Stirling won't be on screen and that it will take me time to process this in a healthy way.
So in case nobody has said this to the crowd who is heartbroken over the genderbeding of Michael Stirling, those who feels upset and disappointed over the loss of a beloved character and don't feel brave enough to express it. Let me be the first to tell you that your feelings are valid, disliking the change in direction that was taken for a fictional character doesn't make you racist or homophobic or anti feminist or any other of those ' you are a raging hater of minorities ' epithets. ( Some of you may even be the kindest people I've met on the site) In my opinion, those feelings just make you human, and you should be allowed to feel it and process the loss in a healthy way without being told youre selfish and a bad person.
Does being heartbroken over this give anyone the right to go and harass actors like Masali Baduza for doing a job they were hired and paid to do? No. Does it give anyone the right to go send nasty harassment anons to people who actually liked the change? Also no. In fact it doesn't give the right to people who have a different opinion to harass you either. Boundaries are a two way street. Don't harass others and don't consent to receiving harassment is a rule we should all follow
But it does give you the right to feel your emotions, process them, accept the change and move on with a healthy mindset.
Its going to take me a while to get there myself, but that's what I'm doing.
And that's the tea
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stormofdefiance · 3 months
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True knowledge exists in knowing you know nothing || Dr. Ratio & Socrates
Okay, I legitimately laughed out loud writing that title, but listen. LISTEN.
Ratio's inspirations derive from many sources; from referencing Archimedes's brain-blast in the tub, to being doomed to have his head bonked by Newton's apple ad infinitum in his idle animation, to his ultimate line ('esse est percipi' / 'to be is to be perceived') a direct quote from Berkeley on Idealism - it's apparent that his design nods towards scholars across time periods rather than being a direct parallel to a singular academic.
Nevertheless, just for fun, I've been rotating Ratio and ancient greek philosophers around in my head and have had a great time chewing over how parallels Socrates in particular. I am in no way saying that Hoyo even thought about Socrates while they were designing Ratio, but I thought I'd share my thoughts. I think there are some worthwhile parallels to be drawn that touch on all aspects of Ratio's own philosophy regarding ignorance, the value of knowledge, and his deep appreciation of life. So, let's get into it.
Ratio is interested in humanity and curing 'ill minds with knowledge', that 'to turn a blind eye to the folly of others is not an etiquette, but a wicked worldly practice.' Ignorance is a disease - this is a concept that can be viewed through a Socratic lens. Socrates believed that that virtue and knowledge were impossible to separate from one another, and that virtue could be developed through acquiring knowledge and insight. If knowledge is virtue, then ignorance is vice. In Socrates's mind, no one would rationally choose to do something bad. People might choose to do bad things, but this is rooted in their own perception of the world - as in, someone would only choose to do something bad (for the world, or for themselves) because they believed (erroneously) that it was the right or good thing to do. To Socrates, the cure to this was knowledge: 'There are two kinds of disease of the soul, vice and ignorance.' & 'What does most harm in the world is not sinfulness but ignorance'.
To Ratio, 'If ignorance is an ailment, it is the duty of the scholars to weed it out and heal the universe'. He views his own ignorance as 'filth' that must be cleansed through methods such as reading. He also views knowledge as a method for humans to overcome their problems - 'Another day has passed. If your problem still hasn't been solved, is it possible the problem is you?' & 'You look distressed. Is something troubling you? if so, you can figure it out for yourself.' These statements sound harsh, but they also clue us into Ratio's philosophy - that through self-examination and improvement, one can overcome one's ailments.
Socrates was also known for being a trouble-maker, he was abrupt and tactless and did not care for someone's social standing nor decorum. He was also known for using what is now called the Socratic method, asking a series of questions that ultimately seek to show contradictions in the beliefs of those who posed them, and to move systematically towards a hypothesis free from contradiction. Socrates rarely made assertions himself - after all, he had no wisdom of his own. But he could interrogate others in order to expose their own foibles, much to the embarrassment and annoyance of those around him. He was once described as a 'gnat' chewing on the 'lazy horse of Athens', causing it to wake up and spring to life due to his persistent gnawing and prodding. Ratio also employs the Socratic method - 'I'm asking questions' - and also adopts sophist tactics such as playing devil's advocate and taking opposing sides (with both himself as seen a story quest, and with others as we see with his texts urging us to take up a side so he might debate us). Through questioning and interrogation, upsetting what we consider social convention and norms, we can dispel contradictions and thereby come closer to some form of truth.
To add to this - as highlighted in the replies below - Ratio’s skill ‘intellectual midwifery’ is a reference to the Socratic method. The idea being that Socrates helped those around him give birth to the knowledge that was already within them, rather than treating his students minds as empty vessels for him to fill with his own answers. Again this is beautifully echoed in Ratio - he doesn’t want to tell you how to live your life, he wants you to work out for yourself what it is you need, thus empowering oneself through self-examination and questioning.
Socrates did not believe in writing anything down. He believed that face-to-face communication was a far more effective way of communicating knowledge - which means, unfortunately, what we know of Socrates is primarily derived from secondary sources. Much of what we know about him today comes from Plato's dialogues, and Plato was known for liberally exercising artistic license.
Although Ratio is not dead, I find it interesting that his character story is told exclusively through secondary sources. To quote - '…There are no less than eight documentaries detailing his legendary exploits, and over a dozen memoirs about him. However, despite the plethora of commentaries, none of them seems to provide a compelling perspective.' It's as though there are no surviving fragments penned by Ratio's hand and all we have to go on is through the lenses of other people. This challenges us, perhaps, to try to think about our own interpretation of Ratio since secondary sources cannot be taken as a wholly unbiased account - and once again employing the Socratic method and empowering the reader to come to their own interpretation.
While Socrates left no writing behind, he was interested in spreading knowledge. Socrates spent most of his life in Athens, a city that was, during his lifetime (~470-399 BC), a hotpot of scholars, wisemen and philosophers. Athena, the Greek god of wisdom, was named after the city - her symbol the owl that is also appropriately perched on Ratio’s shoulder. Also in Athens at this time where the sophists. The sophists were a class of intellectuals who were known to teach courses in various subjects - but often for a high fee, and generally centred around the idea that persuasion and the use of knowledge as a tool was more important than wisdom or truth itself. There's some debate about whether Socrates could be characterised as a sophist himself, but, crucially, he is characterised as refusing to take payment for his teachings. He was born a plebeian (perhaps you might describe it as a mundane background.) He was known to dress in rags and go barefoot, speaking to and (often antagonising) people from all walks of life, preferring the marketplace as a center of debate than palaces or courtrooms. I can't help but think of the sophists as similar to the genius society (or at least Ratio's depiction of them in contrast to himself), cooped up in ivory towers and gatekeeping knowledge to the most privileged. He doubts if Herta's talent is always helpful to others, he compares Screwllum to a 'monarch'. Then again, the sophists may in fact be a bit of a parallel to the Intelligentsia Guild - from Ratio, 'when someone is willing to listen to knowledge that is being disseminated and circulated, a price is created'.
Socrates (or at least the Platonic depiction of Socrates) was at one time declared the wisest man in Athens by the Oracle of Delphi. Socrates balks at this assertion - how can he possibly be the wisest man in Athens when he in fact knows nothing at all? This was not a claim made of modesty - he truly believed that he had no wisdom, that he was unsure what 'wisdom' itself even was. Ultimately, Socrates concludes that the only way that the Oracle could be correct is that by actually acknowledging that he knows nothing he paradoxically is the wisest man in Athens. All wisdom, therefore, is rooted in wondering, with wondering only possible if one is open to admitting one's own ignorance.
What I love about all of this in relation to Ratio is that Ratio styles himself as a mundanite. The Intelligensia Guild advocates that 'all knowledge must be circulated like currency' and accepts 'all beings… who seek to learn'. Ratio has no time for the satisfied self-styling of intellectualism, he himself states that 'to speak knowledge, we must first make people realise their own folly.' No one is above criticism in this regard, even himself - again, to quote 'Whenever someone agrees with me, I feel like I must be wrong.' Again, I feel as though he would resonate with Socrates here: 'Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people from their experiences, and stupid people already have all the answers'. With Aventurine, he is quick to mock his appearance as over-the-top and vapid - once again making it clear his distate for vanity and hollow displays of showiness (albeit he may have been acting for Sunday's sake here. Also, no comment about this coming from a man who runs around in a toga, lmao) Equally, with Aventurine, it is clear that Ratio is willing to learn from him - he apologises when he offends, he abhors his methodology and yet he still relies upon it and trusts in Aventurine's plan, he is drawn to him in some ways precisely because he is so different to himself. Aventurine (at least styles himself) as impulsive to Ratio's slow and steady methodology, Aventurine whose learning has been entirely self-made vs Ratio who has spent his life in classrooms, Ratio who scoffs at Aventurine's favourite games of chance yet adds slot machines to his simulated universe. And to Socrates, the experience of aporia – in all of its discomfort and disruption – is the very catalyst of wonder, and that wonder was not just the root of wisdom but also the way to live a good and happy life. There is something beautiful in this to me, and this extends to Ratio. Ratio fundamentally cares about life. For all his brashness, his lashing out against 'idiots', his harsh demeanour - he wants people to live good lives, he wants to contribute to the good of humanity - all people, even those he is annoyed by, he cares so profoundly and absolutely about life. The entire reason why he is obsessed with wisdom and learning is not to exalt or elevate himself, not as some kind of ritualistic expression of piety towards a deity, but it is instead an expression of devotion towards life itself. Ratio has a strict work out routine not so that he can show off his body, but because living healthily is living well and working out is a component of that. Even the way he fusses and worries about Aventurine, someone he is pointedly irritated by, reveals how deeply his care runs. So so much of his character is centered on caring for life, even if it is not immediately obvious.
Finally, I'd like to highlight some ways in which Ratio is not like Socrates. First of all, Socrates was repeatedly described as 'ugly' by fellow philosophers Plato and Xenophon - this is contrast to Ratio being repeatedly described as 'handsome'. This is an interesting subversion to me (albeit likely an indulgent one) as in both cases both men attempt to distance their physical appearance from the weight of their words. Ratio wears the bust for many reasons, but way to view it is that he is attempting to stop his appearance from bearing any influence in the subject of debate.
Socrates was also said to be blessed by a divine touch, and as we know, this is something that agonises Ratio as Nous has not yet turned THEIR gaze towards him.
Lastly, Ratio has - thankfully - not yet been ordered by the state to drink hemlock for all his trouble-making and blustering. Though perhaps he may someday be put on trial by the IPC if the theories that he is working alongside Aventurine to undermine the corporation are true - we will just have to wait and see.
Thanks for reading my little ramble. I'd be super interested in anyone's thoughts if they'd like to share, but regardless, I'll leave off on some of my favourite wee quotes from the Rat man:
'Even a life marked by failure is a life worth living - it is only in moments of solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up.'
'Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.'
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kalims · 2 years
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‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life—and this is the first time we meet so why do you like me so much?!"
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meeting a beautiful exchange student,
summary. rsa and nrc have collaborated to issue an exchange program, whoever got sent to rsa was an unfortunate soul and he was just lucky enough to meet the one that got sent to nrc—the catch is, said student is insanely beautiful.
and, that student seemed particularly fond of him.
characters. overblot gang.
includes. gn reader.
cw. reader is described as beautiful but for the most part I usually don't describe reader, you are beautiful tho <3
note. if you haven't read through who overblots yet it's best to not interact, unless you're perfectly fine with the spoilers of who overblots
also all my breaths turn into coughs and it is very hard to breathe, especially when it's one of those intense ones 😭
favoritism in jamil's part I love it so much go read it all the others are mehh. jamils part >>> for the jamil bbg stan ellie too
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riddle rosehearts
out of everyone,, riddle thins between the border of disliking rsa and just respecting them. well, the dislike mostly stems from the fact that it's his school's apparent 'rival' and he's got an ego big enough to get upset by the constant losses nrc dealt with the likes of them.
though if they're friendly enough he won't spare them the saltiness.
but seriously—out of concern for his fellow, why'd they have to send a student from his dorm? he can feel a headache forming because he just knows that particular student would break a few rules in his absence.
at the very least he hopes they won't slack in their academic duties.
so when he turns around, he certainly doesn't expect an unfamiliar face in front of him.
(riddle is proud to say that he knows the faces of his school mates quite well)
let me rephrase,, a very attractive face.
one of the most attractive riddle's ever seen in years and don't get him wrong! it's true that he hasn't thought of romance or anything related to that at all, pardon his languange and all but goddamn.
riddle splutters and he doesn't know whether or not that he did, or that he did because you just smiled. "o-oh um.."
see. if you mixed in riddle rosehearts and shy together most nrc students would have a hard time believing it but he's sure glad that there's not any roaming around the halls right now.
if there was imaginary sparkles around you he definitely sees them. "hello!" a greeting far too enthusiastic for a first meeting and you seem to realize that yourself,, so you clear your throat.
and your next one is like a more tamer version than your first. "hello."
oh god he hates to say it but you're cute.
like... cute cute.
he'd never thought he'd ever use that.. word to describe someone.
your lips trembles, almost like you're excited. "oh my gosh. hi! you're riddle rosehearts aren't you?! I watch the videos of the competitions you're in!" you grin and visibly skip from your standing.
riddle turns red as he nods dumbly.
"oh.. really? um... thanks." he says. clenching his hands together behind his back and he's aware of the awfully stiff, formal posture he has. somehow every insecurity he had just popped out and he's now conscious of them.
for the first time, he worries about his appearance.
is his bow even properly tied?! gods.. he never thought about it but the bow probably made him look unappealing and more girly.
but you look positively flushed, he notes. was it too cold? are you sick? should he hand you his jacket? well.. he is feeling a little warm.. "yes.. you're amazing! and, and—"
riddle didn't even question the sun outside, bright and searing just like his face when he thought of the weather being too cold for you.
cater was just walking around, stopping when he caught sight of the scene in front of him but he just had to take out his phone and snap a picture of the two, red faced people in front of him.
"hehe."
he just hopes that riddle won't ever find out about the picture because if he does.. it's off with his head.
leona kingscholar
frankly leona could care less.
his dislike of rsa students doesn't particularly stem from the rivalry. he doesn't care about that at all but the sparkly, princey attitudes just gets on his nerve. to pair it up with their equally flashy attire? yeah, he's not having it.
he'd rather them stay away from him because if he sees any of them he won't hold back from wrecking them.
well that goddamn crowley just had to pick one of his own didn't he? one of vil's would've fit the bill nicely and a savanaclaw student would stand out like a sore thumb. though he can't nor will he stop said student from picking a few fights.
knowing the attitude of his residents it wouldn't take a long time for them to get sent back.
and as for that rsa student that got exchanged.
he doesn't give a dam—
"hey there."
leona's nose twitches. a [scent] smell filling his nose, a scent he doesn't quite recognize yet it still hits like a pleasant breeze compared to those over the top perfumed pomefiore idiots.
in short this person smells good. not in the way pomefiore does but whoever this is just did.
albeit a little dazed, leona turns his head to the side. meeting with crinkled eyes halfway. he just needed one look at your attire to be able to discern that you're the mysterious exchange student from rsa.
besides the obvious patch in your uniform the rsa students just have a certain feel.
leoma just stares at you.
silently.
the amount of time he spent just oogling like a fool embarrasses him to no end but can you blame him? your face alone would fetch hundreds of admirers.
you blink. "uh.. hello?" you wave a hand in the lion's head. funny how you just casually walked into his den, stuck your palm out into his face and is still in one good piece right now.
perhaps catching himself in the act leona's brow twitches. "what are you looking at?" he huffs.
he eyes you silently. most people would probably start putting on their shitting pants if he displayed them the amount of irritation he showed you.
you? you just smiled.
"me? aren't you the one I should be asking that?" you joke.
well you do have a point but he still rolls his eyes.
leona notes that you seem to have a strange fascination with his swaying tail, unable to keep your eyes off whenever it sways naturally. sometimes he just sways it by will to see if you really are interested but by the quick glance you spare you really are.
he ignores the flush on his face and scowls. it was totally unlike him to be like this by some.. pretty face! "whatever."
"you're leona kingscholar aren't you?! oh god and I'm standing in front of you!" you had to bite your lips to prevent the shit eating grin from fully consuming your face.
yeah? so he was. but why in the hell are you so interested in him..?
you place your hands above your hips. you look like a wannabe boss, leona muses. it's amusingly cute. "aaajasjajas can you please sign an autograph?" you say, scratching your cheek in bash.
leona almost resists the urge to roll his eyes. "autograph? you want somethin' memorable?" like you wanted something from him to keep for life.
you nod enthusiastically. memorable, memorable. wouldn't it be better if he made you memories itself? you know. spending time with him to the fact that you can remember the times vividly.
and wouldn't it better to keep him, all in his glory?
if he outright said that you might just pass out though.
so he'll start with the basics.
"yeah. I'm leona, what about you? what's your name?"
the process always starts with a name don't it? well. the bonding atleast, disgustingly enough. wait why is he even doing this?
azul ashengrotto
azul wonders what kind of magic the exchange student from rsa holds.
it's not ominous or anything. crowley banned him from scamming nrc students but he never said anything about rsa students.
crowley doesn't know it himself but choosing one of the octavinelle students to get sent there works as great benefit for azul. just imagine all the things he could learn.. good thing most residents does what he asks so that one didn't even question when he implied spying for him.
of course he didn't say it outright but beating to the point but his residents seem to be getting used to him.
and he knows that the vil schoenheit would be delighted to indulge in the,, information he'll learn from neige, it's not that hard to tell the grudge the man has for him. he'd be mad too if he got upped that many times but if he said that out loud he'd probably be banned from pomefiore.
maybe rook hunt fits the category more.
oh.. only ursula knows the amount of schemes,, I mean business deals going on inside his head.
apparently he needed to get his head out of the clouds because thinking too much about his totally genius, non-scammy ideas whilst walking around the halls wasn't a good idea at all.
the fact that he collided with someone the moment he turned a corner was enough proof.
you see azul isn't a very strong man. all the power didn't go in his physical build but rather his mental one. he's rather frail compared to all of his fellow dorm leaders, hell.. that purple haired kid that follows vil around is stronger than him!
so the collision actually made him wobble, uncharacteristically taken off guard he stumbled.
pain sears across his back side and he doesn't know whether to groan or feel embarrassed. was anyone watching? he'll die.
all he knows is that someone collided into him.
azul places a carefully practiced smile, closing his eyes to flash the person in front of him a kind tilt of the lips. "how clumsy of me." he says. you are the clumsy one. he stubbornly denies in his mind.
the closed eyes always obstructed his view but that won't make any difference.
except this time it did.
he opens his eyes. "are you—" okay?
what in the name of ursula.
azul immediately shuts his mouth, opens it but once he realizes no words were coming out he shuts it again. he just gapes, with wide eyes and equally wide mouth.
actually wait he isn't okay.
first of all that person in front of him? was drop dead gorgeous and he's a little embarrassed to see that you've already got yourself on your feet and offering a hand while he's still trying to look good.
on the ground.
somehow.
azul turns red and he pursues his lips. there's comical steam floating out of his head, and the vapor had magically fogged up his glasses.
you stare at him gesturing him to take your hand after minutes of silence. azul dusts himself off. "oh.. thank you very much." he clears his throat. "I don't think I've seen you before."
perking up, you reply; "I'm new I guess. the exchange student ring a bell?"
"I see."
he makes a show of opening his mouth then nodding, acting like he didn't know before. it's not hard to miss when the patch of rsa is stitched proudly on your chest area. seems like they modified it for your sake.
azul smiles thinly. "in that case. I'm free right now, why don't I show you around?"
you beam brightly and nod enthusiastically. "oh gods.. thank you so much! I was actually lost, new school and stuff." you laugh. you don't blame yourself at all, this school was huge and your school didn't use mirrors a lot.
people would be suprised about the students preferring to walk because of 'nature' of the main seven heroes it worships preferred to. the students from the mermaid door like to walk despite them usually being clumsy.
though this man did look familiar but you can't place your finger on how.
"my name is azul ashengrotto, I'm a second year. I manage a place called monstro lounge, you could visit if you'd like."
why is he even bringing up monstro lounge so fast? he's totally not trying to impress you.
well it did work.
you raise your brows, your eyes flash in recognition. "azul ashengrotto? oh my gosh. I knew you looked familiar!" you resist the urge to squeal.
he tilts his head.
"you like, host many events in nrc don't you? I loved them so much! the venues are a beautiful sight. don't get me started on your after speeches.. your voice and your suits make me want to faint."
azul holds in his blush by pushing in his lips.
jamil viper
there's still a lot to do. jamil thinks grimly. despite one of their own getting sent to hell itself (aka rsa, hell because it seems like a nightmare to be in there at all) kalim thought it was an omen and decided to throw a celebration commending a new start.
he does get it though. instead of being at each other's throat (one sided) the schools are finally collaborating with less violence than he'd like.
that doesn't mean jamil is fully on board with the idea though, more so that he finds out more workload would only be added to his plate.
man is stressed.
so here he is, voice honestly sore from all the orders and scolds he executed in a single hour. be it blabbering someone to do an order or going off at another for doing it the wrong way. if there was 20 jamil's it'd be done in no time but cloning is a very complex spell he hasn't learned.
yet— but once he does the dorm will not be ready for him.
the boy who issued the party himself is off somewhere inviting more people, which meant this party would be bigger than the resident scarabia exclusive party. since he's inviting people from the other dorms too.
hasn't he invited enough? jamil sighs. he's been giving invitations since yesterday. kalim might as well invite the whole school.
he doubts that he's entirely off the truth.
how in the hell he's gonna fit them all if he does into the dorm is anybody's guess. jamil is not a fan of packed places.
actually he isn't a fan of parties at all.
it would've been better to deal with if kalim announced the party weeks prior! not literally a day before it! yesterday was the absolute worst day of his month and there's like ten of those every month.
so imagine his stress when the guests already started piling in when he hasn't even finished the last snacks for the table.
he knew he should have contacted trey because baking muffins straight out of a tutorial is definitely not ideal at all.
to be fair he doesn't make them a lot and the last time he did was so long ago that he needed to search it up on how to make it.
kalim would've been perfectly fine if he left out he muffins off the menu but jamil doesn't wanna take any chances.
I don't think they're supposed to look like that. jamil wipes off the sweat on his forehead silently. staring at the definitely undercooked muffin barely even poofed up to eat
the door creaks open and jamil doesn't spare it a glance. finally some help. "can you hand me another batch of the batter? I messed up." he glances at the clock. well there's still time and the guests outside were grateful enough to dig in on the other variety of food.
jamil stretches out his hand after he finishes setting up another tray. though the voice that he has not heard before has him freezing.
he doesn't even move when the weight of the presumed batter is gently put on his outstretched hand.
"oops.. yeah that definitely looks horrible not gonna lie."
I can see that. jamil blankly thinks, turning his head to silently analyze the person beside him. one of the people kalim invited definitely, the boy would give an invitation to a person he doesn't know.
you just stare back calmly.
but wow. you have pretty eyes. jamil clears his throat. he grips the plastic of the batter and focuses on pouring the right amount into the cups. if he keeps staring it'd be rude and he isn't sure if he wouldn't stay distracted.
while pouring in the consistency he speaks; "I don't think we've met but thanks." he says, you smile in response. looking apologetic.
"sorry for barging in. kalim told me that you were here."
jamil blinks and his hold falters. a pretty person looking for me?
what.
"oh. that's strange. why would you look for me?"
perhaps he's a little suspicious.
"I couldn't help myself. I just had to meet the chef—" you pause and look over his work. "—and baker. themselves."
you seem oddly invested in him just placing the dough in the cups. he feels kind of pressured and dare I say shy in this amount of attention.. "why's that?"
wait he should probably tone it down. he's making it seem like he's interrogating every choice you just made.
though you don't seem to mind. your eyes almost look like they sparkle and they look prettier to him. "the food was unlike anything I've ever eaten! I've met five star chefs and none could ever compare. it was like the taste of home." you sigh dreamily.
jamil clears his throat and he's glad that his hair is over his shoulder so you wouldn't see the flush on his face.
it's nice to be appreciated and you don't seem like you preferred kalim over him.
jamil thinks. fuck it. "well. how would you like me to teach you over?" maybe he was being way too forward. it was uncharacteristic of him to be like this but can you blame him?
it's like your beauty was enchanted with some spell that completely lured him in.
he leans away and it felt like just a few seconds when you were both talking, the cups full of batter speaks for itself. jamil brings it to the oven and sets the timer.
your voice echoes in his mind. "I'd love that. let me know when you're free, I don't wanna impose when you're busy."
he frowns. he is busy tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the day after that. maybe this will be a test for his patience.
you notice the frown on his face but still manage to laugh. "by the look on your face I'm guessing you're not? well that's fine. want to exchange numbers so we can talk when you are?"
he isn't sure if this was just a ploy to get his number but damn. you are one smooth, beautiful one. he nods, still a little dejected from his full schedule.
"jamil is free tomorrow!" the male in question doesn't know when or how kalim got in without the two of you noticing but he just did.
for once he's kind of glad for the boy even he's a headache most of the time.
you raise your brows and look between the two having a staredown. "that so?"
jamil turns to you and shrugs. "I guess so."
there's a trace of a faint smile on his face.
vil schoenheit
it's strange.
vil heard from a little birdie, aka our resident rook hunt that the exchange student from rsa was chosen to reside in pomefiore out of every dorm, what was crowley thinking? as if sending one of vil's own into the devil's den wasn't enough
and only the students chosen by the mirror should be able to stay in pomefiore's castle.
so you can say that he's a little irked.
especially thinking of the possibility that the student could be acquaintances with neige, if they are then it's a game over. he might be being a little bitter about it but can you blame him? it drives him crazy.
rook might not mind, maybe epel too. but he can't say the same for himself and the other residents of his dorm.
vil isn't usually someone to listen in gossip but it was too interesting to just pass by the room with a door that was just conveniently creaked open.
"—I'm telling you! it's blasphemy. they didn't even bat an eye when I suggested them to use the right products!"
vil doesn't gaze inside the room, rather keeping his eyes ahead.
"hmph. the audacity. our advice would be worth thousands! did you see the eye they gave us? someone like me shouldn't receive such a gaze." the other one huffs.
sometimes his own residents could be way too feeling royalty. vil sighs, even he is a little appalled on how they act.
'right products?' he doesn't really agree. there isn't a right or wrong to which products one use, except is said product is actually really bad for the skin.
the lights of pomefiore dim compared to when it's morning. those were operated to immediately lower brightness in the night anyways. still, vil's favorite time is when it's quiet, serene and beautiful.
and there was a spot in the gardens for himself only.
but there was someone in here.
"those are apricots." vil points out. crossing his arms to carefully survey the supposed intruder, when he said that he knew each and every one of the faces in his dorm. he was being serious. and from a gaze alone from them gives him the conclusion that this is someone new.
perhaps a student who started late? but then again even if it was just one or a few more students for submission the dorm leaders would've still been summoned to witness the ceremony first hand.
the figure in front of him freezes. finger twitching before retreating in hesitance, completely discarding their previous action to reach out and touch the flower. most probably embarrassed to be seen trying such a thing.
"yes. it's a symbol of elegance. quite fitting for your dorm." they speak out slowly.
maybe he hasn't counted in his and your own reflection in the glass window but you sure do and you can feel your heart racing from the familiar features he has. sure, it's a little different from the ones you're used to. the ones where you weren't granted the honor to stand so close.
but he was still very beautiful. inside and out.
vil's eyes glint in recognition. "hm."
there's a quiet moment of silence. not necessarily uncomfortable but not that comforting either.
you open your mouth, close it once more but thankfully you've gathered enough words to speak out. "i, uhm.. the student from rsa." you say.
you're quite perspective. vil notes. he didn't even see your face yet you know it from his tone alone.
but.
oh. he thinks with a blank stare. who would've guessed? all the pieces fall together perfectly but he hoped you were anything but that. the title is something he started associating with you the moment you said it. all the bad things are sticking to you now and he doesn't like it.
neige, rsa... he closes his eyes and turns to retreat back to his abode. hoping to walk away before he starts to resent you.
the fire within vil grows a little harder.
"hey. I just wanted to say."
he pauses. vil imagines you looking his way, face shown, no longer hiding your identity yet he doesn't dare to look back.
you avert your eyes to the floor and are practically swimming in embarrassment. should you be blessed with the sight of your eternal love in nightwear? anyways..
"you probably heard this a lot of times already but omgiloveyousomuch wait that sounds creepy sorry uh.. I really liked your first movie!" you unconsciously rant and close your eyes, giggling then pausing when you catch yourself in 4k.
indeed it's something vil's heard a lot of times but from an rsa student? well that's something new.
congratulations you've officially peaked his interest. "my.. first movie..?" vil inhales a sharp breath. he didn't think anyone would remember that! he literally payed the director mounts of cash to erase that one from existence!
you nod. "yes.. I'm guessing you were new around there but your acting was just so raw that I had to rewatch it a hundred of times." maybe the hundred times were an exaggeration but plenty enough to stand near the truth. "ever since I've looked up to you."
vil stays silent.
you sweatdrop. "sorry that was weird. but I'm really happy I got to tell you in person. don't worry! I'll be out of your hair and you won't see me ever again."
that's right. this is something he can forget easily. he just has to keep looking forward and he won't see you at all, he won't ever know who told him the kindest, genuine words he's ever heard ever.
he looks back and you hold your breath.
wow. he was beautiful.
his eyes skim through you in the most judgemental way you've seen but do you care? no. eye contact with vil.. you're suprised you haven't passed out yet.
"beautiful."
you nod in a frenzy, thinking he was referring to himself.
you are beautiful. vil thinks. just before he hasn't even taken a look at you and he thought the exact same thing.
he smiles. "it's nice to have someone who understands flower languange."
either you were absolutely flabbergasted, all you can do was nod and agree to nearly all he said when he stayed for a few and talked with you.
idia shroud
idia is feeling particularly antsy today.
he doesn’t know when, why, what, or how he agreed yesterday midnight to a meet up with his currently closest online friend. idia knows full well of the risks, is he gonna meet a ten year old or a sixty one year old?
well the meet up had him so distracted that he barely even paid attention to crowley's announcement. only making out an exchange program from it.
there's far bigger things he worries about,, like the fact that he's having an inner crisis because of the situation!
and the fact that his friend unconsciously sent an ominous message.. 'I'm closer than you think' what does that even mean?!
and he doesn't know what went through their head when they said to meet him in the botanical garden of nrc. like.. there was no way the barrier would even let them step foot in the nrc grounds!
still, no matter how bizarre it sounded he still went.
idia sticks out like a sore thumb in the valley of green with his flaming hair, standing there with a console at hand to keep himself distracted.
he got a lot of weird looks. seriously? the barely seen dorm leader of the mysterious ignihyde in such a place? what's new though honestly.
idia waits and waits, till he just slumps and curses himself for believing such a thing. there was no way you'd even be able to—
"ghoul666?" a voice chuckles. and... that was his username! it must be..
"(username)?!?!" idia nearly screeched out loud. turning around frantically but stopping short when he catches sight of you.
oh my god... are you an s-rank deity?!
you smile. "hi! you can call me (name).. it's a little weird to hear that in real life." you shrug and idia still can't pick up the jaw that's practically on the floor.
you watch in amusement as his hair flares and turns pink.
"why,, h-how.. what?!" idia splutters out.
"I'm the exchange student from rsa. isn't it fate that we meet like this?"
oh.
well actually he didn't exactly listen to crowley so.
who knew his literal online best friend was so awe-striking? he feels like a pebble next to them.
if he could have stats in his eyes he would but strangely enough it seemed like you would too.
you scratch your cheek. the atmosphere is kinda awkward. "it's so nice to meet you in person! one day I hope I can solo a boss with 1 hp too.."
idia flushes once again. nearly half of his hair is now encased in pink. "i-i could show you how I do it... not that you'd ever want to hang out with me.." he trails off.
you shake the remark off. "that's not true! let's go right now! uh.. if you want."
here we have two people completely enamored with the other.
clarifications.
in riddle's part, the competition refers to equestrian.
the positively flushed isn't a reference to a red face, but since riddle thought you were being sick maybe he thought it was. I'd rather call it shy behavior.
idia's part was rushed.
its exactly 40 minutes before 12 PM
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