#them: relaxing together after months of chasing each other all over the country

[poolpvrty]

Killing Eve; Rita and Bellatrix!

[lxnababy]

TOUJOURS

COMMITMENT LOST CHAPTER TWO: TOUJOURS

part one

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

wc: 6.2k

Ariana is sad.

Well, that's a given. There is always a melancholy cloud that seems to follow behind her since she was a child, shrinking some years and puffing up others. It's a common occurrence for her to spend a day or two a month holed up in her room, surrounded by giant blankets and overstuffed pillows, reading a romance novel with tears streaming down her face.

By the end of the book, when the main characters get a happy sappy ever after, she shuts the book and lies on her bed, staring at the ceiling until the hours turn into a whole night. She calls it her version of Rest and Relaxation, but she knows it is probably a psychological problem she needs to evaluate much deeper.

But recently, the cloud of melancholy has grown so much it envelops her. She trudges to work, trudges to classes, hands in assignments late, and stares numbly out her old window to the beautiful view of the city. It doesn't seem to have the same spark as it did before; like she finally sees what every depressed, corporate New Yorker sees.

Today, on a particularly cold and rainy Sunday, she is on her old couch, curled up with a blanket as she cries. What she is crying for, she doesn't know.

She could be mourning the loss of Hannah, who hasn't returned any of her text messages since the event over a week ago. She could be upset by the unexpected absence of Harry—after all, she thought men like him enjoyed a good chase. She could be homesick, despite not traveling back to France for almost two years.

She can't figure out what has her so down until she finally understands. Everything. Everything has her upset and overwhelmed.

Knowing she has to wake up each morning with her heart full of unrequited love, aching heavily in her chest and weighing her down. Knowing she cares too deeply for the man across from her on the subway who seems to live there, his arms crossed as he tries (and fails) to get comfortable for a fitful bout of sleep. Knowing she has never felt the same amount of love she gives to others. No one ever thinks about how her day must have been as they lay awake at night, no one picks up a magazine off the stand at a convenience store simply because it reminds them of her.

But complaining about being too caring doesn't feel right. So she doesn't tell Niall, despite his prodding at her upset resting face at brunch the morning before.

"Ari," he pokes her with his fork. "You know you can tell me anything. I won't tell Hannah or Harry or anyone. It can just sit in my brain like a hen sitting on an egg."

Ariana remembers she shakes her head and laughs, then. "Your brain works in mysterious ways, Ni," she deflects his previous comment.

She could've told Niall her woes; in fact, she's unsure why she didn't. He wouldn't have judged her, she knew that. She's spent a fair amount of nights crying in Hannah and Niall's arms after getting ghosted by a man she swore was different��or the time her family canceled her flight home, explaining they needed the money to focus on the kids. The kids were the children her parents had together after she moved across the country.

Nevertheless, it has come to her attention that she is too emotional. From now on, she dedicates one woeful day to just herself, and the other six are complete with cheery smiles and bright eyes.

A loud, unwelcome knock on her apartment door, though, disrupts her misery.

It is sharp and short, though it repeats itself when she doesn't get up promptly. She curses to herself, blinking tears from her eyes and scrubbing her red cheeks as she makes her way to the front door.

Whipping it open blindly, she is met with sleek, black boots. Her head snaps up in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing when she sees who is at her front door, her hair slightly drooping and wet from the rain, white dress shirt sticking to a tattoo-clad figure.

"Sorry for no notice. Just figured I haven't seen you in a while and you weren't at BAR last night."

BAR, conveniently named, happens to be the club she keeps bumping into him at. BAR is the place she rightfully avoids now, knowing Hannah is probably occupying a table.

"So you... came to my house?" Ariana squints up at him, noticing his eyes already searching hers. His brows begin to furrow as she guesses he realizes she's been crying. "Well, I'm alive. Thanks for the wellness check, Harry." She figures a harsh bite of humor will hopefully stop Harry from whatever pity-filled question he would ask in regards to her crying. She leans against her door frame, suddenly aware of how little she is wearing.

Her sleep shorts consisted of women's boxers—a heather gray cotton fabric that could barely be classified as shorts, and her hoodie had the neckline cut off, exposing her braless shoulder. Her hair is woven into a thick braid that falls down her back, her bare face beginning to swell from the hours of drowning in her misery.

"Barely, it looks like," he cracks a smile. "Mind if I come in? I brought party favors," he holds up a bottle of red wine she hadn't noticed he was holding until now, the glass clinking against his heavy rings.

Ariana tilts her head, intrigued. "Why?"

Harry rocks back and forth on his feet. "Because a pretty girl like you shouldn't be upset on God's rest day. It's supposed to be a day of recharging," he explains, scratching the back of his head. It appears Harry has a very dry sense of humor; the kind where she can't tell if he is making a joke or being dead serious.

Ariana knows she shouldn't invite him in. She knows their priorities are different, knows she will read into every word he says and fully believe it. And Harry, well, is a flirt. A massive, beautiful flirt who probably has used that line on many women before her, and will on many women after her.

But she steps aside. "Only because red wine's my favorite," she justifies.

A half hour later, she is sitting across from him at her shitty dinner table, pouring both of them a third glass of wine while babbling about nothing of importance. When did you move to New York? Do you like it here?

"Why'd you come here? I'm sure you have better things to be doing on a Sunday," Ariana crosses her arms, challenging him. Her vision starts to blur and there seem to be two Harry's if she squints just enough, but the buzz of the wine seems to calm her emotions perfectly. Perfectly enough to begin questioning the odd, mysterious man in front of her.

Harry only matches her stature, leaning back in the rickety wooden chair. "Why were you crying? I'm sure you have better things to be doing on a Sunday," he provokes.

Ariana's fingers tighten on her wine glass. Her breath catches in her throat.

"Parce que, Harry, I think I've won the lottery of shittiest luck." She answers vaguely. "And I think I'm prettiest after I cry. It's my way of relaxing,"

Harry can't help the smile that floats over his face. He wouldn't have even noticed the change of expression if it wasn't for the ache his muscles felt; he doesn't smile genuinely often. It is an odd reaction to such a miserable confession, but it is her confession. She told him something that wasn't common knowledge. That is, after all, what he was trying to get her to do all night—tell him something she wants to say, not pleasantries or boring, overused questions.

"I will say you look beautiful bare-faced. Brings out your eyes," he compliments. "How many more wine do we have?" He stutters through the question after downing the last of his glass and shakily putting it down on the table.

"Many?" Ariana begins to laugh at his horrid grammar.

Harry simply grumbles, waving off his mistake with incoherent mumblings. "I think I have a rosé somewhere—"

"The piss of wines," Harry interrupts boldly, staring at her with a deadpan look.

Ariana gasps dramatically at his statement. "How dare you! It's pink!" She narrows her eyes. "Rosé is joyful. Do you hate joy, Harry?"

Harry scoffs. "Yes, I'm the Big Bad Wolf. I hate joy and also rosé. And this fucking chair—I mean, give my tailbone a break." He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, making Ariana giggle softly.

Maybe it is the fact Harry seems to have bought a forty-proof bottle of wine, or the fact she hasn't eaten all day, or the fact she just downed her third glass in a half hour, or the fact they finished the bottle, but Ariana is drunk.

"Well, let's move to the couch, Mr. Big Bad Wolf." She hops up, skipping over to tug on his arm annoyingly so he'd follow her to the overstuffed, very soft couch she bought from a thrift store two years ago.

-

Somehow, she ends up in his arms. His bicep is hooked over her neck loosely, her chin pressed against the muscle and her head resting in his armpit as she lays in one direction and he lays perpendicular to her, trapping her against him. It's not like she wasn't expecting it—their conversations felt like extended foreplay with how much sexual tension sizzled between them—but she was delightfully surprised at how gentle and slow he was being. How caring he is, for talking to her without trying to use her.

She looks up at him, craning her neck to see his bloodshot eyes. "Wanna know a secret?" Ariana asks, her smile disappearing and the playful tone falling off her words beginning to slow.

"Toujours," [Always] Harry replies.

"I've never been in a relationship. But they seem fun, I think I'd have fun in a relationship." Ariana speaks the last bit to herself, furrowing her brow at the indication she might be oversharing with a man she had promised not to get involved with. It slips out before her brain can stop the message, but it sounds pathetic to be telling a man who she just met how lonely she is.

Harry, with the hand that was tucked behind his head as he lounges on the couch, brings it up to brush the stray, feathery bangs of her chestnut hair away from her face delicately. "That's funny," he says after a minute.

Ariana scoffs, sitting up and turning to face him. "Why? Am I not meant for one?" She sounds hurt like the wine had stripped all of her comebacks and left her defenseless against Harry's wrath.

Harry shakes his head, the bottle of rosé he swore he wouldn't drink sitting tucked under his other armpit, almost empty. "You're meant for one. I'm pretty sure any guy in the entirety of New York would kill for a chance with you. I just think it's funny you want one so badly," he explains, never getting up from his lounging spot even if she was now towering over him.

Ariana squints, disregarding his compliments. "What do you have against relationships, Harry? It's cuddling and talking and sharing families and getting a cat—"

"If you think that's what a relationship is, I hate to break your bubble, but it's ninety percent arguing and ten percent crying." He interrupts. "I'm just not a relationship person. I can't handle... being dependent and constantly worrying about them and getting attached." He looks away from her, his hands squeezing the neck of the bottle as they fall into silence for a few moments. "But if you want a relationship, Ari, I'll help you find the best relationship out there."

She climbs closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder now and melting her body into his side. "We're very different people, Harry," she sighs into his neck, the sound reverberating off the walls of Harry's brain as he holds onto her tighter. "Why have a heart if you won't use it?" The question is vague. She wants to say, humans are supposed to love, but that sounds corny. She wants to convince Harry that relationships should hurt and that sitting in the numb feeling of loneliness created by none other than yourself is much worse than a few tears and rocky weeks with someone you love.

Harry looks down at her—she knows he wants her to meet his gaze, but she can't. She's hurt, hurt someone could feel this way about something so magical. "I think you know that answer," his voice is low like they were sharing a secret.

Her breath hitches. Harry Styles is scared.

She finally looks up at him. "We don't have to use our hearts, then. I'm willing to settle," his hand slides to her hips, the tension in the room filling her ears with fluid and making everything hard to hear. She chews on her lip; she wants to taste his, even if she knows nothing will ever come of it. And she knows he wants that too, with the predatory looks he's been giving her all night, the soft touches that turned into pure electricity.

Harry squeezes the plushy part of the skin sitting over her hip bone. "You're too sweet for this, Ariana,"

"No, I'm not, and you can't hurt me, Harry. We're so different, and I want this. Especially because you're..." she trails off, her eyes flicking to his lips as their heads draw closer together. She doesn't feel herself moving, she simply is. Or is Harry getting closer? She can't tell, but she doesn't care.

He smirks. "Finish the sentence," she shakes her head stubbornly. "Finish the sentence or I'll make you finish the sentence."

Ariana's heart drops and her cheeks flush, heat filling her belly as the leg thrown over his tightened against his. "Especially because you're a sculpture that should be in the Louvre. You're so handsome it almost hurts to look at you, and that's not my type. I like ugly guys," she cracks a joke, trying to ease the rocky ocean water settling between her thighs.

Harry pushed her gently onto her back as he opened her legs to climb inside. "Ariana, you're a putain d'ange [fucking angel]. You're just so you, I've never met anyone like you." He is mumbling, and she knows the sentence isn't meant for her, even though it is addressed to her. He is speaking quietly, eyes roaming her body like one would drink in a beautiful piece of art.

She reaches her head up to kiss him; she's never wanted something so bad. Her mouth feels chapped, her body on fire and the only cure is Harry's soft, wine-sodden lips on hers. But he moves back ever so slightly. "Let me show you?"

It comes out as a question, and Harry isn't sure why he said it. Let me show you the good parts of a relationship, is his full sentence. Let me show you what those other boys can't.

Ariana nods eagerly, though pauses. "I don't want to... do everything," she frowns, bracing herself for an explosion. It usually came from one-night stands who realized they wouldn't get lucky. "I'm sorry," she adds quickly.

Harry frowns. "Don't apologize. I could go home right now and still be over the fucking moon." His hand drops from her hip, a smile cracking onto her face almost like he is reassuring her it's okay to speak up for what she wants. He backs up a bit, thinking Ariana is a bit overwhelmed by how close they are.

But she just puts his hand back, shaking her head. "I wanna do some things," she shows him a teasing grin. "With you, specifically. Obviously,"

Harry laughs, cutting himself off by dipping down to kiss her. Their lips move feverishly, their mouths tasting of wine. It is sloppy and quick, forcing Ariana to arch her back into him, her hips involuntarily rutting against his.

After a few minutes of heavy, hot kissing, she figures something out: Harry isn't going to make the first move. He took her wariness as a sign and stayed in her comfort zone. His hands are on her hips, cemented in place, his lips never straying far from hers. So she squeezes her leg around him tighter, half-heartedly grinding against him. No real pleasure comes from that action; it is more of a way to initiate Harry, but he understands.

He grips her hip hard, forcing her against the couch as he starts to grind against the sweet spot in between her thighs. She gasps at the action, her hands going straight to his hair and tugging on the curls as he drops his mouth open and backs up slightly to look at her. When they glimpse at each other, they both unravel the slightest bit more.

His eyes are bloodshot and pleading, hers submissive and filled with want. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyebrows furrowed. He has to look away; it is like looking at the sun. She is so, so beautiful.

"Please let me taste you,"

His voice is raspy and broken, his lips wet with their saliva as he rutted against her for the minimal release it gives the tension tight in his belly.

Ariana nods. "I've never—no one's ever," she stumbles over her words.

Harry shakes his head in disbelief. "You fucked pussies, Ari. Let me show you," the phrase fell from his lips again, almost unwarranted. Let me show you real pleasure. Let me show you how you're supposed to be treated.

Ariana starts to giggle, the sound bouncing around his ribs. "I know. It's a little embarrassing to admit—" She cuts herself off with a high-pitched gasp once she feels his fingers pluck at the hem of her shorts, his eyes trained on hers.

"Is this okay?" He is itching to rip them off, itching to see her tiny cotton boxers in tatters on the floor, a reminder for her once he left of how good he made her feel. How responsive she is. How he notices every goosebump on her skin, every hitch in her breath.

She nods.

When he pulls her boxers down, her hand flies to the one resting on her hip. She laces their fingers together, nervous about how literally naked she is in front of him. He simply let her take his hand, not phased by her nerves.

"Si beau," [So beautiful] he mutters, eyes trained on the apex of her thighs, mouth watering. "You're so beautiful, Ariana." He then raises his eyes to hers, like he wants her to believe it.

She turns red. He simply repeats the sentence.

And then he dives between her thighs, ravishing her. Her head is thrown back, her fingers squeezing his. She tries to lock her legs around his head, the nudging of his tongue becoming overwhelming, but Harry simply pushes them back open with his elbows, eyes closed as he eats her out like he is starving.

She is whining and gasping, a coil in her belly appearing. "Harry, I can't—no one else has ever made me—please, H, ne t'arrête pas." [don't stop] She is babbling, her eyes shutting hard as he digs into her deeper.

When she releases, she swears she touched a star. Her eyes roll back, her fingers grip his hair so tight she is afraid she is hurting him, her legs tensing. He just moans into her, lapping all of her up until she is shaking from oversensitivity and pushing him away.

Only then does he climb up her body, kissing her with her release on his tongue, much gentler than he was before. Only then does he rub circles on her outer thigh, shushing her with soothing French nonsense.

"See? Now you'll never go back to those boys. You've graduated from my masterclass, mademoiselle." [missy] He teases, pushing her hair from her face.

Ariana rolls her eyes, pushing herself to sit up. "I think my legs are jelly," she frowns, trying to lean over and grab her boxers, but failing.

Harry retrieves them for her, even sliding them up her legs and over her stomach. "You really are beautiful, Ari. I didn't just say that in the heat of the moment,"

Her stomach flips. But you don't want a relationship, she reminds herself. You're just a flirt. But flirt or not, she can't get enough of him.

"Well, I really do think you should be in the Louvre," she smiles when he leans down to give her another kiss.

—

Ariana nudges at her eggs, stealthily checking her phone. 10:18 AM. She has an hour and twelve minutes until her class starts, but she knows Hannah will drink up her time greedily.

"—But Kian kept telling me my hair looked brown, and it was pissing me off! Like, as the best-rated hair stylist in the upper west side, he should know not to insult an ashy blonde like that." Hannah rants, throwing her arms up in annoyance as her barely touched avocado toast sits diagonal to her cappuccino.

They decided to talk things out.

Well, Ariana decided to. After Harry left last night (only after Ariana made him promise to get an Uber and collect his car the next morning), she decided to text Hannah. She knows Harry won't be long-term, she knows it will end up in flames, so she needs something constant. Even if the constant is Hannah's complaining and Ariana's internal eye rolls.

Now they are back to normal. "I don't think he was trying to be rude, though," Ariana counters, her mind wandering as she refutes Hannah's statement.

Maybe she should lie, and say her class starts early. Maybe she should cuss Hannah out in French again—it seemed to work the first time. Or maybe, the most likely option, she should sit in silence, trying to parcel out her relationships with dissatisfaction lingering in her mind. Dissatisfaction that she clings onto Hannah, or pretends to be loose and spontaneous with Harry.

Just be malleable, she reminds herself. People like being close to their reflections.

—

The texting started Monday afternoon.

Then fell into Tuesday, which led into Wednesday.

Then, they upgraded to calls.

"I think I'm free tonight. Just come over," Ariana surprises herself with how lenient she is being, inviting Harry over on a weeknight.

"I'll bring pizza. I'm ravenous after fixing cars all day," she can hear his douchey smile.

Ariana gulps. "Sounds good,"

"À bientôt," [See you soon]

Turns out, it was soon.

She is in ratty jeans and a hoodie from painting in her bedroom, her hair tied back messily and her face freshly washed when she answers the door. A smile climbs onto her lips as she invites Harry inside, his sneakers squeaking against the old wooden floor as he steps in.

"It's fucking freezing in here," are his first words to her.

"I have fuzzy blankets," she offers, though turns into his chest when he decides to surprise her with a one-handed greeting hug, the other hovering over her back while balancing a box of pizza.

She returns it with a delighted grin stretched across her cheeks, her head tilted up to meet his eyes. They sparkle like even his irises are excited to see her.

Following her to the living room, he opens the box on the coffee table and leans back on the overstuffed sofa, kicking off his shoes and running a hand through his curls tiredly. "How was your day, amour?" He asks, his head falling back into a beige throw pillow.

Ariana perches herself beside him, leaning over to grab a slice of pizza. Olive—somehow he chose the perfect topping for her without asking or discussing this beforehand. He just seems to know.

"Alright. I'm pretty behind on a few essays, but I hit writer's block." She shrugs, pushing a stray piece of hair that fell from the loose ponytail behind her ear. "Fix any cars today?" She has a teasing lilt in her voice.

Harry smiles. "I did. Can I read one of your papers?" He peers at her laptop, which is haphazardly thrown onto one of the cushions. "Is it gonna be, like, a manifesto of your dark fantasies? Do you write erotica? Holy fuck, is it with a centaur and a mermaid? You freak!" He gasps, speaking so quickly there is no point in Ariana interjecting.

She simply rolls her eyes, smacking his shoulder playfully. "You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Her eyes crinkle in laughter as he nods excessively. "No, it's pretty boring. I don't think you want to read my review of the Titanic. The book, obviously,"

Harry scoffs. "On the contrary. If the writer's this hot, I'd read anything,"

She rolls her eyes once more but picks up her laptop. He moves closer to her, their thighs pressed together. She ignores the fluttering in her belly and his breath on her neck as she types in her password. He is so close, he must know what he's doing. He is touching her, and any touch from Harry lights her up like Central Park during Christmas time.

Then, horror strikes.

Pulled up on her screen in large font is the introduction to a dating profile website.

"Oh my God, Ari! You're on Tinder? You little minx!" Harry gasps dramatically, prying the laptop from her hands before she can snatch it away.

Her cheeks turn red, her hands reaching for the computer in an attempt to snap it shut before he digs deeper. It's not like she has filled anything out yet—she is admittedly horrible at all things related to finding photos of herself or hyping herself up. "I was just thinking of joining. I know dating apps are mostly for hookups, and—"

"—and you have me for that," Harry interrupts, finishing her sentence. "So you actually wanna find a date, yeah? I can help," he looks over at her, smirking knowingly. He knows he has her flustered and a puddle at his feet, but he can't help it. He loves watching the pretty blush bloom over her face and her eyes widen in surprise at his bluntness.

They were opposites, which Harry knew. But if anything, it made him more attracted to her. He wanted to see how far she'd let him push her, the side of her she never let anyone see. He scratched at the surface, but he needed more. He was thirsty.

She nods pliantly. "C'mere. Are your photos linked to your computer? I wanna choose them for you," he rests the laptop on his thighs, letting Ariana tuck herself into his side, eyes trained on the screen curiously.

He clicks upload pictures and expands the screen, perusing through her camera roll. Most photos are of cats she found littering the streets or excerpts from books she found endearing or heart-wrenching. There are a few drunken selfies of her and Hannah and some photos she forced Niall to take for her as well. "Why not that one?" She frowns, and Harry stops scrolling.

It is a picture of her and Hannah grinning widely outside the club they were waiting to get into, Ariana's mini dress high up her thighs, her head resting on Hannah's shoulder with one foot on the brick wall behind her.

"Is that the night I met you?" He asks, noticing the same black dress with a pink bow, the same stick-straight hairstyle with smokey eyeliner. She nods absently, looking up at him for his approval. "You're so pretty. This can be, like, the fourth picture, though. You don't want Hannah in a lot of them 'cause you guys look like sisters and guys have weird fetishes about sisters."

Ariana narrows her eyes. "Ew, Harry! Maybe this is a mistake," she groans, slumping into his body. She is exhausted from her day, the pizza sitting untouched in her hand beginning to wilt downwards.

"Well, obviously no guy on a dating app is good enough for you, but it's good practice. Plus, you're gonna get a million likes because you're probably the hottest person on this app and I'm gonna get jealous as fuck." Harry says honestly, not even looking up from the laptop at his brazen, confident comment.

She blushes hard. "Jealous?" She asks, furrowing her brow. Jealousy would infer they have any sort of romantic relationship, and it's clear Harry doesn't want that.

"You're a catch, Ari. You know that, right?" He finally rips his gaze away from the screen just to stare at her with the same intensity. She almost wishes he was still distracted, because she is sure if her face burns any redder she'll be in danger of catching on fire. "If I didn't think marriage was hellfire I'd propose."

Yeah, she thinks, her heart beating rapidly at his confession, this is going to sting.

She nods slowly. He returns back to perusing her albums, and they sit in comfortable silence as he does so, highlighting a few pictures, and sneaking a few bites of her slice of pizza.

Until he immediately freezes, and Ariana looks away from her phone she picks up just a moment before responding to Niall and Hannah. She peeks at the screen, immediately burying her face in Harry's shoulder when she sees what is pulled up.

It is a photo she took a month prior, natural light streaming through her bedroom windows in the crest of the morning sun. In the top corner, her lips are parted to show just a fraction of her teeth, and her back is arched.

The main focus of the photo, however, is her deep red, puffy mesh panties. The hem bunches lettuce-style, and the mesh is just see-through enough to see her milky skin in a rose-tinted haze. The white cotton tank she is wearing just barely covers her breasts, with the straps falling down her shoulders, her nipples peeking through the thin, almost transparent material. Her legs are bent at the knees, slightly parted to show a wet patch forming at the apex of her thighs.

"I forgot I took that," is all she managed to say when the silence became awkward.

"Are you real?" He answers, turning to look at her. "Because I swear I had a dream that looked exactly like you. I mean, you're fucking perfect. And you're so sweet and your heart is so fucking pure, you actually can't be real. It wouldn't be fair,"

He's gushing, words tumbling from his lips before his brain processes them. "And you kiss like an angel, I haven't been able to stop thinking about your lips. And your tattoos are just—"

Ariana lurches forward, capturing his babbling mouth in hers. Immediately, he pushes the computer away and brings her into his lap, his hands tugging at her belt loops before sliding up her sweatshirt to warm her back.

When she pulls away, she is out of breath. The kiss is short and wild, but Harry doesn't seem to mind.

"Is that how I'm supposed to kiss my Tinder date?" She asks through fluttered eyelids and a lip bite. For once, she left him speechless with red cheeks and wide, blinking eyes. She feels so accomplished, her chest puffing in pride as she cements her words with the hem of her sweatshirt hiking up her belly to show a fraction of tanned skin.

He frowns. "No. That type is just for me," he finally responds.

She laughs, light and airy. She isn't familiar with this Ariana; the Ariana that moves without worry and kisses with no forewarning. The Ariana whose skirts are too short and lipstick too bold. This is the Ariana Harry draws out of her—maybe it is smart to be friends with benefits. That way, she wouldn't lose him to a fight or a tear-filled breakup. That way, they'd stay happy and platonic (or, as platonic as you could get with that mouth of his).

This Ariana also spoke up. "That was my friendly kiss," she teases.

Harry blows out a long breath. "I can't even imagine the Tinder date kiss then." He blinks away the shock from his eyes before grabbing her hips and flipping her so her back is against his chest. She sinks into his arms, pulling the computer into her lap as they look at more photos.

It feels a bit backward, sitting in one man's arms while creating a dating profile to meet other men, but she doesn't care. She will enjoy her time with Harry now, in case she won't feel this way ever again.

"Why'd you leave France?"

The question is out of the blue. Ariana just finished filling out her nationality and hometown, and Harry seems to be intrigued.

She shrugs, though won't look back to meet his gaze. "Better opportunities in America," she says simply, and doesn't elaborate.

"But you were so young," he presses for more detail, his hands squeezing her hips in a silent urge to meet his eyes. She won't.

"My parents kinda shipped me away through a school program. And then I stopped coming home for summers and started living with Hannah once my mom got pregnant. The move was slow, I don't know for sure when I started calling New York home." Ariana says vaguely.

It falls silent for another few beats, but more words are piling up on Ariana's tongue, and Harry's smooth fingers rubbing against the bare skin of her hip are coaxing them out of her.

"Well, actually I do know," her voice wavers. "I wanted to go to France for Christmas break, but my parents told me they couldn't afford my ticket home. Or my schooling. Or my boarding. They said they had two new children and needed to supply their real kids with money. With my money," she feels tears prick her eyes, but pushes them down.

When she is certain none would fall, she turns to face Harry, once more abandoning their quest to make a dating profile.

"I kinda knew then I wasn't welcome anymore. They told me I could come home, but I'd have to stay in a hotel because they refurbished my room with nursery stuff. I decided not to go home, and they mailed the rest of my belongings a week later. I didn't have any money, so Hannah spotted me for a bit.

"And that's why I'm still friends with her, even though she treats me shitty and is not at all the same girl that held my hand in middle school." She finishes. She knows she doesn't have to explain anything to Harry and their relationship consists of light-hearted conversation and casual make-out sessions, but she wants to.

She hasn't ever admitted Hannah has changed before, or really that her family replaced her with two chaotic younger siblings she has only met a handful of times. But he makes her feel seen and heard, even if he never speaks—so she allows herself to slip up just this once.

Harry wraps his arms around her, slowly at first, until he engulfs her in his lean arms, muscles flexing around her body. "You're the coolest girl ever," he hums into her ear. She decided that was the best compliment Harry could dish out, and simply thanked him quietly as she let him hold her. "And Hannah doesn't deserve to be friends with such a cool girl." He pulls back, his hands sliding to her thighs.

It is just then that her eyes flicker to his lips and his gaze glosses over that Harry's phone rings.

It is loud and piercing, startling Ariana off him. It is probably good not to be so close to Harry anyway—the familiar sandalwood scent of his cologne begins to have Ariana's belly fluttering at the mere thought of it.

"Niall, I'm with Ariana. I don't think she wants her house smelling like weed—no, there's pizza here! I'm not abandoning pizza to sit in the snow with you—fuck you, weirdo," Harry pulls the phone away from his ear to turn to Ariana. "Can Niall come over? He says he's not bringing a joint but I don't believe him,"

Ariana's laugh bubbles gleefully from her throat, a nod surfacing. "He can smoke here, I don't care," she then adds.

~

"Can we all share a blanket? I wanna feel like the grandparents in that Willy Wonka movie," Niall asks, tugging the blanket that was wrapped around Ariana's body undone.

She is lounging between her (new) two favorite people as they pass a joint over her head, taking hits and laughing at dumb comments the other made. "We're not all gonna fit," Ariana points out as both the boys struggle to pull each end of the forest green throw over their bodies.

"Just sit closer to me. I don't bite," Harry teases, eyes glinting mischievously.

Ariana scoffs. "I can't sit closer to you, I'll be on your lap." She points out, and Harry hums knowingly.

"If the shoe fits..." he winces for her slap before it comes.

The bickering is interrupted by Niall, who is now reaching for Ariana's phone that sitting on the coffee table under a layer of pizza grease. He is cursing, trying to guess her password. "Niall! What are you doing?" Her tone is almost motherly, causing Harry to snort from behind her.

"Why are you getting messages for Nahir saying 'I want to taste you'? Oh my God, Ryan said he wants your babies!"

"Harry!" She feels like she is chastising children. "Did you hack my dating profile?"

Harry frowns, the air of playfulness gone and replaced with annoyance. "I thought I chose good guys. Why are they so creepy? I'm sorry, Ari, I told you you're too good for dating apps." He snatches the phone from Niall, scrolling through likes and explicit messages.

Ariana, though, is now red-faced and embarrassed. "Why do guys only think about one thing?" She groans, dropping back onto the sofa. Her hands are folded against her stomach, and she avoids eye contact with either of them. It's a rhetorical question, and she won't be able to listen to not everyone thinks that Ari, you just need to find your person.

Instead, Harry puts his hand on her knee, which is pulled up to her chest. Niall holds her hand in his. "'Cause we're assholes," Niall is focused on the screen, though his thumb is rubbing soothing circles against the top of her hand. "And you're kind of a princess. Or something. Like the badass kind, though, that has a lot of cool hats."

Ariana turns to Harry quizzically, almost as if saying what the fuck is he talking about?

Harry just shrugs. Who knows? His eyes reply.

"Thanks, Niall. You know how I feel about a good fedora,"

part one

[lubdubsworld]

GIFT .

Genre : Brother-in-law Jungkook x OC!

Warnings : Yandere Jungkook! Non Consent. Manipulative behaviour. Explicit Sexual Content, Violence, Murder

Author's Note : I love reading Yandere fics so I just wanted to write one!! Its very different from what I usually write... So proceed with caution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time I met Jungkook , it was five years into my relationship with Namjoon.

Namjoon had told me all about his baby brother, a final year student in SNU. Jungkook majored in Business , training to take over the company business . Namjoon often mentioned that it was Jungkook's offer to switch majors that had helped him pursue his own dream of being a music producer.

So when he told me that Jungkook was on a break from university and his parents were looking forward to having a proper family dinner with all of us, I was excited to meet the boy , I'd heard so much about. Namjoon was endlessly fond of his little brother and I wanted him to like me just as much.

Namjoon and I had met seven years earlier in the University Library and had become fast friends. We were both quiet, intellectually driven individuals, preferring to spend our time in the library as opposed to partying with our friends. And yet, in a twist , against our family’s wishes, we had chosen not to pursue an academically driven career either. I’d always felt out of place in my own friend group, most of my friend from Journalism being extroverted and fun loving. Namjoon for his part had only two very close friends, Yoongi and Hoseok and preferred spending time by himself as well.

So it was only natural that we fell in with each other with ease. His beautiful dimpled smile tugged on my gut, even as his gentle nature and gorgeous mind made my heart pound. I fell in love with him, between the late night laughter in the library and the soft secrets whispered against my skin, in the privacy of his bed.

“Nervous?” His voice drew me to the present, fingers inking with mine as he lightly knocked his shoulders against mine, staring down at me with a dimpled smile. I shook my head quickly, squeezing his hand gently.

“Of course not. I just want him to like me.” I whispered and Namjoon chuckled.

“Jungkookie isn’t very expressive so don’t worry if he isn’t very vocal in his affections. He’s very shy with new people but I’m sure, he’ll love you.” Namjoon reached out and lightly, brushed the hair off my face before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

I gripped his waist, pressing in closer, lips parting instinctively  , eager to chase the taste of him. He groaned and gripped my elbow, pulling me around to press up against the tall , lean strength of his body and this was it, this endless need to touch him even after seven whole years of being together. I moaned when he bit down on my lips, my back arching a bit to press into him.

“Hyung?”

We parted, surprised and I felt my face flame, lips slicked wet and no doubt red from where Joon’s teeth had sunk in.

What a first impression.

“Ahh… Jungkook-ah… You came out?” Namjoon looked a little flustered, dimples peeking out in an abashed smile as he laughed embarrassedly I found myself smiling at Jungkook, who looked nothing like I’d imagined.

I’d been expecting someone cute and friendly.

Jungkook was dressed in all black, tall and intimidating. He was also almost surreally beautiful, gaze piercing and steady as he stared at me. I felt an instinctive urge to hide, not missing the way his gaze trailed up and down my body, lips parting gently to reveal a pair of bunny teeth that looked jarringly adorable on a face that was , quite simply put, arrestingly gorgeous.  

He hummed, still standing in the doorway, eyes trained on me and I swallowed when he smiled , wide and open. His tongue darted out, lightly licking his lower lip .

“Hi, Hana.” He said softly and I startled.

“Hana? I’m sure you mean noona…..” I laughed nervously and even Namjoon looked surprised and Jungkook merely smiled, shrugging.

“You don’t feel like a noona.” He said casually.

I merely stared at him, not sure what he meant. Namjoon laughed a little as well, moving over to lightly hug his brother.

“Yah! You’ve just met her. Isn’t it too soon to start being a brat?” He ruffled his hair playfully before turning to me.

“Come on, Hana. Come say hi to my parents.” Namjoon walked in and I rushed to follow him, pausing when I reached the doorway. I smiled at Jungkook, holding a hand out slowly.

“I’ve heard so much about you Jungkook, I hope we can be friends…” I said sincerely and he stared at my hand, not taking it. Instead he gave me another soft smile. Before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, making me jump .

“You don’t feel like a friend either.” He said with a shrug , before moving away, leaving me stunned on the doorway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years later :

“Seven months? Namjoon we’re getting married in seven months! How am I supposed to plan a whole wedding , with you away from the country?” I asked desperately, watching as Namjoon sat with his head in his hands. He looked stricken, regretful and pained and I felt terrible for being unreasonable but it was impossible not to feel hurt.

“I know..  I know hana, I’m so fucking sorry. But this is such a huge opportunity and its not just me : Hoseok and Yoongi depend on me. I can’t screw things up for them too.” He whispered and I exhaled.

Namjoon had been offered a chance to produce for a very high end recording label based out of the US and they wanted him to stay there for a minimum of seven months. The offer had been a complete surprise, out of the blue and the timing couldn’t have been worse. I’d been accepted into an internship at a popular magazine and it would be impossible for me to go with him. And I was so desperate to go.

We’d never been apart for more than a few days, in the entirety of our relationship and the thought of not seeing him for months made me want to throw up.

“I’ve spoken to Jungkook. He’ll help you with all the things that have to be done. And I swear that I’ll be back at least a month before the date, alright? No matter what happens.” Namjoon said firmly. I swallowed, nodding nervously.

It was true that I didn’t like the idea of being away from Namjoon. But the thought of keeping him away from a dream that he had worked so hard for, was almost unfathomable.

Besides, Jungkook was reliable and sweet. The perfect gentleman. Especially now that he’d taken over as his father’s Executive Assistant, Jungkook was incredibly good at organizing and planning things out.

With his help, I could plan out our wedding to perfection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next five months were spent in a haze of appointments and fittings and bookings. Jungkook had arranged for a shift in my internship hours, so he and I could spend a solid four hours every day, visiting different vendors, picking out the perfect floral arrangements, napkins, brocade and what not. And for once, I found myself completely enthralled by the idea of spending money of frivolously pretty things. Whether it was the florists or the patisserie, the dress fitting or the invitations, I felt my excitement bubbling over , amazed because marrying into Namjoon’s family meant an unlimited budget and for once, I didn’t mind being extravagant.

What was more, I didn’t miss Namjoon nearly as much as I thought I would. Because deep down , I knew that he wouldn’t have enjoyed this all that much. And I would have felt guilty , dragging him everywhere.

And Jungkook was the one to thank for all of it. He picked me up everyday for an early breakfast , followed by hours of combing the streets for ideas and appointments. He was funny and enthusiastic, eager to help me in every way and I was so grateful that I couldn’t thank him enough.

“I owe you so much, Kookie. You’ve been a life saver.” I groaned, collapsing on the couch and dropping my head back against the backrest. Jungkook chuckled, sitting down on one of the Turkish ottomans and lightly grabbing my ankle, pulling my foot onto his lap. I flushed a little, still not used to how touchy he was.

Jungkook liked wrapping his arms around my waist when we were out and about, fingers fluttering up my sides or brushing hair off my face with easy familiarity. I didn’t mind. He reminded me of my little brother back in Ilsan.

Most of the people we met assumed he was the groom and Jungkook told me it would be better to keep up the ruse because wedding planners were more comfortable when couples came together and I’d agreed, albeit a little reluctantly. I missed Namjoon and I wondered if he would mind. But when I mentioned it in passing to him during one of our daily video calls, he’d merely laughed it off.

“You’re so tense, Hana. You should relax. Everything is going to be okay.” Jungkook said softly, soft fingers digging into the curve of heel before brushing the arch of my foot. I smiled when he tugged my foot close, placing it down on the firmness of his thigh.

I gazed down at him, feeling uncomfortably nervous. This whole thing seemed oddly intimate somehow and I felt the first tendrils of guilt begin to curl around my gut. I swallowed, hating myself for tainting something that was no doubt innocent. I ought to be grateful that my future brother in law was this kind to me.

“I know. Thank you. I just miss him sometimes.” I said softly. The fingers stilled on my foot.

“Only sometimes?” He teased, eyes narrowed and tone just a little colder and I hesitated.

“I don’t miss him when you keep me company. You help me forget that I’m doing all of this by myself.” I said honestly. Jungkook inhaled sharply, his gaze flicking to mine, holding mine with an intensity that made me balk a little.

“You mean, that?” He asked quietly and I laughed at how serious he looked.

“Of course I do.  I was so sure this whole thing would be me being miserably lonely but you’ve kept me laughing and happy. I’m going to ask Namjoon to buy you something expensive and amazing when he comes back.”

“He already has something amazing. It’s the only thing I really want.” Jungkook said quietly, fingers stroking up, gently massaging my foot all the way up my calf. I groaned at how good it felt.

“Really what is it?” I asked curious.

Jungkook squeezed my knee before carefully placing my foot down , reaching for the other one.

“You’ll know soon, Hana.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True to his word, Namjoon called me exactly a month before our wedding date.

“Guess who’s leaving the God forsaken place this weekend?”

I felt warmth flood my insides, heart racing with pure joy, tears brimming over because I’d honestly resigned myself to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to make it back on time.

“Monday i, I’ll be there. Can’t wait to kiss you, my love.” He whispered and I nodded, laughing.

Finally, Everything would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon’s flight was due to arrive late night ,somewhere between twelve and one in the morning. I’d taken a nap in the afternoon, so I could be up to welcome him back. Jungkook arrived at around seven with Takeout and flowers.

He didn’t ring the doorbell, letting himself in with the spare key I’d given him for emergencies. I found myself scrambling for my robe because I’d taken a nice long shower and slipped on a silk negligee, short and ending just over my knees . I could feel his eyes on me as I hastily tied the sash together, flustered. The robe wasn’t long either and I felt absolutely exposed, even worse than when he’d stepped into the dressing room during my fitting, offering to help me with the zipper.

“ Jungkook, what are you doing here?” I asked nervously and he shrugged, eyes still trailing over my legs, the skin bare. I felt his gaze like a caress and some instinct told me I was in danger. I shook my head to clear it. How ridiculous.

This was Jungkook. Sweet, wonderful Jungkookie. My best friend these past few months. There was no one else I could be safer with.

“I knew you’d be excited, what with hyung coming back and all. So, I thought I’d drop by and at least make sure you’re well fed.” He grinned, holding the tae out up. I smiled and nodded, moving to get plates and glasses from the kitchen.

I heard Jungkook moving around in the living room and when I went back in , I found that he had two glasses of wine ready on the table, an expensive bottle of merlot opened nearby. I smiled a bit, shaking my head.

“What are we celebrating?” I asked curiously and he shrugged.

“Namjoon hyung is coming back right? It means I’ll be getting my amazing gift tonight.” He said softly, picking his glass up and taking a sip and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re such a child. You can’t wait for a day to get your gift?”

Jungkook hummed. He looked ethereal in the dim golden light of the apartment. Like something out of a fairytale. All dark ebony hair and porcelain skin. I wondered, again….why he never dated. He was easily one of the most beautiful humans I’d ever seen in my life. And that voice.

The voice of an angel.

“I’ve been waiting for years, Hana. I’m sick and tired of waiting.” He said softly, voice low and eyes somehow dark and I tried to hold my smile.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it.” I grinned and he smiled, all teeth.

“Oh, I intend to. Thoroughly.”

I took my own glass and took a deep sip , before holding it against his.

“To no longer waiting and finally getting what we want.” I said cheerfully, thinking of the long months without Namjoon and the few hours till he would be back in my arms. Jungkook chuckled and clinked his glass against mine.

“To you, Hana.” He said simply and I blushed, surprised and flattered.

We ate the take out but just a few bites in, I felt my eyes getting heavy which was so unfair. It was barely eight. And I’d slept in the afternoon. What was wrong with me? I was supposed to be up till Namjoon came home.

“You alright, love?” Jungkook asked sweetly , getting out of his chair and making his way over when I almost knocked the glass of water over, fingers trembling. I pouted, even as his fingers curled over my shoulders, gripping lightly.

“Why am I so drowsy?” I whined in desperation and he leaned down, lightly resting his chin on my shoulder.

“You need to rest, hana. Come on, let’s get you to bed…. “

Eyes heavy and limbs turning to jelly, I could barely blink as he reached down and scooped me into his arms , carrying me into the bedroom. I felt his fingers tug on the sash of my robe, a protest building up at the action but he shushed me gently.

“I’m just helping you out of this, Hana. Rest now… Namjoon hyung will be here soon and we have a long night ahead of us, you and I.”

I could feel my mind churn at that, confusion warring with apprehension because why was Jungkook inserting himself in tonight? What did he have to do with Namjoon and I ?

Sleep beckoned and I found myself slipping into the darkness before I could fully ponder on his words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up sweaty and damp , body overheated and my head foggy. I made to move and felt my heart pound when I realized my hands were tied up to the headboard. I blinked, only to be met with darkness because there was something tied around my eye as well.

“Jungkook?!” I called out panicking and there was a low chuckle.

And then a very familiar scent.

Namjoon.

I sagged in relief.

“Joon…it’s you….” I breathed out . “ Come on, do we really have to do this right away? I wanna see you…” I whispered desperately.

Fingers brushed over my ankle and I jumped.

“Namjoon?” I whispered . The bed dipped next to me, and I felt the brush of his shirt against my bare arm. It was soft and silky , familiar because I’d bought it for him for his birthday and he’d sent me a pic of him wearing it, from the airport today.

“Okay… I’ll play.” I laughed softly. “ Just untie me… I wanna touch you..”

“Sshhh…..” A finger pressed against my lip and I startled. Throat dry, I gulped.

But I didn’t say anything, biting my lips nervously as I felt him climb over me, one knee on either side of mine, fingers curling on my thighs, lips pressing against my cheek. I sighed, relishing the soft press of his lips, up and down my neck, the damp wetness of his tongue as he licked the skin right after, teeth nipping gently and then with more force.

I trembled as soft fingers tugged on my negligee tugging the fabric up and away from my body, raising it up till it pooled near my chest. I felt the tug on my panties, yanking the fabric off and then the weight of him went away, a breathy exhale that sounded both calm and somehow desperate, his body moving down to lightly hold my knees, parting my legs.

I bent my knees, spreading my thighs the way he clearly wanted me to, hearing him groan in return. He used his thumbs to gently part the damp folds of my centre and I felt my entire body shudder at the press of his tongues against the most intimate parts of me.

Choking, I could only lay there and take it, his tongue licking the slick folds, over and over again with an almost curious insistence, like he was tasting me for the first time and I could feel his body trembling on the bed as he did. I felt his teeth tug on the hardened nub, bruising hard and yet somehow almost playful and cheeky and I found myself squirming in pleasure, wetness seeping out of me .

The tip of his finger found my slit, running up and done the length of it in a slow, gentle caress, gathering the moisture there and I trembled when he reached my clit, gently rubbing circles on the little bundle before moving back down to trace my entrance. I was so wet, getting wetter by the second and I’d never wanted to be fucked so bad.

“Please…..baby… I want you ….in me…” I choked out and he chuckled, a little mischievous and unlike him.

The finger dipped in, shallow and barely in and I whimpered in desperation.

“More.. Please…. I want more.. Want you… Its been so long…”

I felt him move back at that and then he was there, right between my legs. I felt the clink of metal as he unbuckled himself, the sound of his zipper and the rustle of fabric as he pushed his trousers off. I could feel the hard muscles of his thigh against the back of mine as he scooted closer, felt the brush of his hard length against my center, the head dipping in just lightly.

He pushed forward, driving in with so much force that my entire body shuddered in shock. And in just that second, I knew, with dawning horror…….

This was not Namjoon.

I screamed, so loud my own ears rang and  a palm pressed down into my mouth, forceful and unrelenting. And terrifyingly unfamiliar.

“Hana…” Jungkook’s voice near my ear made me choke on my tears, my mind splintering in shock and betrayal, body going rigid in terror as he pulled out , only to slide back in.

“Knew it would be worth it, keeping myself pure for you….” He crooned against my skin and I whimpered, wetness spilling over my eyelashes as I tried to squirm away, my mind body and soul only screaming for the man I loved.

“Don’t worry about anything ….Hyung’s in a better place now. “ Jungkook chuckled deeply and I felt my skin go ice cold at the implication. He moved his hand away and I coughed, choking.

“Jungkook….”

The blind fold came off and he kept pumping into me, hips moving erratically, no rhythm or grace and it was obvious he’d never done this before, obvious in the way he looked : blissed out and feral, eyes unfocused as he stared down at me. I felt him tremble and shake, before going still . I felt warm wetness flood my insides and bile rose, nausea making breathing difficult. He stayed on me and inside me, his body so large and immovable, heavy and suffocating over my own.

“what are you doing Jungkookie?” I sobbed out in disbelief and he glared at me.

“What does it fucking look like I’m doing? I’m taking what I fucking deserve….” He snarled. “ Two fucking years…. He doesn’t deserve you. Spends all his days and nights holed up in that studio of his with his friends….leaves you to fend for yourself. You deserve to be waited on, hand and foot… you deserve the world, hana…and he wouldn’t let you experience any of it. Fucking bastard….

“No… No.. God …no..” I choked out. It was the shirt.

He was wearing Namjoon’s shirt. And his cologne. The shirt I knew my boyfriend had been wearing today. How did he get it??

Jungkook brushed his fingers on my cheeks .

“What’s wrong baby? Are you worried about him? Wondering where he is…” He chuckled. “ I told you..he’s in a better place right now..”

“No… you’re lying..you wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t I? You know me that well , hana?” He teased.

No. No I didn’t I didn’t know him at all.

“How about this? If you marry me…. If you let me have this dream wedding with my dream girl…. “ He smirked,” If you let me love you the way you deserve , maybe I’ll take you to visit him…someday. ”

I closed my eyes.

I couldn’t process what I’d just heard… I didn’t know… if he was bluffing. What if he had actually killed-

I couldn’t believe that. I couldn’t. It would break me.

“Okay… Just…please don’t hurt him…” I whispered.

Jungkook smiled.

“Just relax Hana. Everything’s going to be okay.”

AUTHORS NOTE : THIS IS LITERALLY MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS PURELY OUT OF IDLE CURIOSITY

~~~~~~~~~~~

[stilldani24]

I Am Here

corpse husband x reader oneshot

words: 1233

request: “Corpse x reader where they’re married and no one knows and they’re a Broadway actor/actress and they come home and surprises him when he’s streaming” from anonymous

a/n: the title of this oneshot is a song title from the musical Come From Away, and if you haven’t listened to the soundtrack yet, you definitely need to. Also look for the documentary You Are Here: A Come From Away Story for an amazing dive into the real events and creation of the musical. 

You picked an unconventional career from the get-go. From the instant you told your parents what you wanted to do and where you were moving, they were skeptical but supportive. At eighteen, you moved to America to attend school for musical theatre. Not only were you out on your own for the first time, you were in a completely new country with no friends. Well, no. That was a lie. You had made many friends all across the country. Alex in Virginia, Rachel in New Jersey, Jade in Michigan, and a kid named Corpse in California you had met on Reddit. 

You learned his real name soon after you both developed feelings for each other and began a long distance relationship, but you were more keen in calling him Corpse. 

It suited him better. 

Even after you had officially met, you moved across the country for him, and had gotten married after three years of dating and one year of engagement. You still called him Corpse, especially since his YouTube career took off and that’s all anyone called him. You didn’t want to be caught saying his real name while he was streaming. 

None of his new friends he met playing Among Us knew he was married, or even in a relationship for that matter. He wasn’t at that point with these people yet, they only knew him for his voice and impressive impostor skills. He had gained a following over the years for his Reddit reading videos, so his fans already knew his voice and new fans immediately simped. You found it absolutely adorable, but it was even more reason to keep you a secret. Despite being married, you didn’t mind. 

While his YouTube following was increasing, your career was steadily climbing. Broadway had just been reopened following the pandemic and thus a new wave of auditions. You had since graduated and had an agent, and she sent you every audition that fit you. And surprisingly, you were cast in Come From Away, a musical about Operation: Yellow Ribbon following the 9/11 attacks. The cast only consisted of twelve actors, no ensemble, so you were front and centre every night. It was a dream come true, and you had a blast. You hated being away from your husband, but he understood completely and wanted you to chase every opportunity life gave you. 

After six consecutive weeks in New York City, you were granted a full month off from the show so you could go home and be with your husband. It was rumoured that Come From Away would be opening in Los Angeles so you were hopeful you would be able to transfer from Broadway to LA. But until then, you had a month off and were excited to go home before having to return back to your NYC studio apartment. 

You slowly opened the door to your shared apartment in San Diego, your huge suitcase of luggage behind you as you moved through the apartment. You didn’t call out for your husband, wanting to surprise him completely wherever he was. You were certain he wasn’t streaming, as he wasn’t talking or anything, so you looked around the apartment. When you deduced he was in his gaming room, you thought he was deep in the zone of editing something.

You swung open the door excitedly. “Honey, I’m home!”

Corpse was definitely streaming, just in the lobby as everyone was afk probably grabbing food or using the bathroom. He jumped in his seat, eyes wide as he made eye contact with you. You were frozen as you noticed he was streaming. He was probably speaking the entire time, just quietly so you didn’t hear him, and you had just revealed this huge secret.

Corpse didn’t care.

He threw his headset aside, a huge grin on his face, as he ran to you and scooped you up in his arms as best as he could. “Holy shit, you’re home! Holy fuck!”

You laughed as you hugged him tightly, burying your face into his neck as you just took in his warmth. You didn’t care about the fact that he was streaming anymore. “Hi, baby,” you murmured to him lovingly, then grabbing his face in your hands and planting a fat, juicy kiss on his lips. 

“Why didn’t you call me or text me, I could’ve picked you up at the airport!” he laughed, just holding your face in his hands and looking at you. 

“I didn’t think you’d be streaming today, so I wanted to surprise you,” you replied, laughing now as he gave you soft kisses on your forehead and cheeks. “Sorry, uh, I ruined our secret.”

“I don’t give a fuck, not a single one, you’re home,” he gushed happily, before looking back to his set up. He let out a low chuckle as he watched the chat scroll by quickly. “Come on.”

He led you to his set up, sitting down in his chair before pulling you down onto his lap. He placed his headset back on, one hand on his mouse while the other arm wrapped around your waist with his hand resting on your thigh.

“Chat, this is my spouse, Y/N. They, uh, they’ve been in New York on Broadway for a month and a half and I’ve missed them so much. Say hi, babe,” he smiled at you now.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you replied shyly, thankful there wasn’t a facecam so they couldn’t see how flustered you were. Or how fucking beat you looked after your long flight. 

“Woah, Corpse, you’re married?!” Sean’s excited voice sounded from Corpse’s headset, making you giggle. “Dude, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Jesus, Corpse, you had me here really thinking I had a chance,” Sykkuno then said, making the both of you laugh now. 

“It never came up, sorry, guys,” Corpse replied, giving you a slight squeeze. “Yeah, we’ve been together for four years, and we got married last year.”

“Don’t worry, you can still simp over my husband. But if you dare think of actually stealing him from me, I’ll tap dance all over you,” you warned. 

“Wait, Corpse said that you came back from Broadway? What show?” Rae then asked. Corpse had moved one of the ears off of his own and turned up the volume so you could actually hear. 

“Oh, uh, Come From Away. I’ve only been there since Broadway reopened, but I kinda got lucky getting cast,” you replied sheepishly, curling into Corpse a little bit more. 

“That’s bullshit, you have a gorgeous voice,” Corpse replied, pinching your thigh slightly.

“Sing, sing, sing!” his friends began chanting, making you blush heavily and bury your face into his neck. You could perform for hundreds eight times a week but as soon as you were in front of his close friends and over two hundred thousand viewers on his stream, you got incredibly flustered. 

“Alright, guys, relax, they just got home and probably need to rest,” Corpse came to your defence, kissing your cheek softly before letting you get up. “Before you leave, babe. I love you.”

“Awww, I love you too,” you cooed softly, leaning down and giving him a soft kiss. You heard his friends taunting him from his headset, making you giggle softly and leave the room as Corpse turned back to his computer to continue his stream.

“Shut the fuck up, guys.”

[maddieinwonder]

A Lesson In Romance #7: False Start

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Just a lot of awkward vibes hahaha

Word Count: 1.7k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they try to confess their feelings.

A/N: I didn’t actually manage to include the definition of a False Start in the chapter itself, so I’ll add it at the end. No spoilers for now!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

-----------

It took you 24 hours to decide that you were going to do something about your feelings for the good doctor. Pretty quick, considering you were a living, breathing rom-com cynic. But as ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, once said: "The only constant in life is change".

Specifically, change happened after you woke up in your cute co-worker and dear friend's arms and you wanted nothing more than to get back into them as fast as possible.

But by the universal laws of working in the BAU, catching a break seemed to be the hardest when you actually wanted one.

Firstly, it was like every serial killer in the country decided to cancel their vacations simultaneously, swamping the team with urgent case after case. At this point, you were more familiar with the couch on the jet than your bed at home, and everyone was feeling the strain.

Secondly, if you weren't sleeping, you were usually out in the field chasing unsubs with Derek or Rossi. You had stopped holding out hope for being paired with Spencer — on account of your areas of specialty overlapping too much, and Hotch not being the type of leader to waste his resources — and as a result:

Thirdly, getting even ten minutes alone with the genius became an impossible task, and not for lack of trying either. At the start of the month, the two of you had tried to adapt your breakfast ritual to the road, but it always got interrupted mid-coffee order or even at the ding of the lift. Not that you and Spencer stopped trying, no, but your patience was wearing thin.

So you did something you hadn't done since you submitted your application to join the BAU — you prayed for a chance.

Because every day that you didn't admit your feelings to the doctor was another day fighting the compulsion to tell somebody else about them, and god only knows what a room full of profilers (and one nosy tech analyst) would do with that kind of information.

Then, out of the blue, the door of opportunity opened.

After two weeks of straight travel, the team had earned a well-deserved one night’s rest in your own beds before dealing with a local case, bright and early tomorrow morning. And since your flight landed at 2am and all the trains had stopped by then, this gave you the perfect shot to execute your plan.

Unfortunately, you forgot to take into account the most important factor — your nerves.

It didn't help that Derek had wolf-whistled in the carpark as the two of you walked off in the same direction, nor that Spencer immediately put your favourite album into the CD player out of instinct; an overly domestic action that made your heart beat even faster.

But it was when you arrived in front of his apartment building that you felt the worst of it. As you tried to summon the right words to your lips, your heart hammered in your chest and your thoughts jumbled themselves into nonsense.

"Are you ok?" Spencer asked, snapping you out of your anxious spiral instantly. "You don't look so well."

"I-I'm fine." Your fingers twitched nervously.

"Doesn't seem like it." He looked down at your hands, and you cursed your subconscious brain for giving you away. Then, he placed a hand over yours and your heart stopped.

"You're not alright, that's for sure, but it seems like it's just sleep deprivation." He assessed, bending slightly to look at your face. "You can't drive in this state. Do you want to come in?”

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze, ready to protest, but Spencer beat you to it. "Let’s go. You wanted to talk about something, right?" He called out, already one foot out of the car.

Before you could realise what was happening, you found yourself sitting on Spencer's couch holding a warm cup of tea.

This was the first time you were in his apartment. Yet, it was exactly what you thought it'd be like. Every wall was lined with bookshelves, filled to max capacity with books of every topic imaginable from neuroscience to philosophy. Those that didn't make it to the shelves were found in random stacks around his apartment, standing out against his forest green walls.

"Did you know that chamomile tea is a natural remedy for insomnia? In fact, it is commonly regarded as a mild tranquilizer. It's calming effects may be attributed to the antioxidant apigenin, which binds to specific receptors in your brain that initiate sleep and reduce anxiety." He explained, walking over with his own mug.

"I actually did know that." You smiled. The tea seemed to work its magic because you did feel relaxed, and you must have looked it too, because the worried frown disappeared off Spencer's face.

"Didn't know you were a tea person." You commented lightly, blowing the steam from your mug.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me." He replied mysteriously, and you raised your eyebrows.

Spencer's apartment was too quiet, no rumbling fridge or quiet radio playing in the background to make your awkward silence any less pronounced. It was then that you noticed he didn't have a TV. Somehow this fact didn't surprise you very much.

"You... you wanted to talk to me about something?" He broke the silence, looking down at the hot tea swirling in his mug.

Right. You were here to talk about your feelings. Your face flushed as you tried to summon your willpower, again.

"I wanted to tell you something—" You began shakily. "But before that, I just want to preface, we can ignore this entire thing if you don't agree. I mean, I really enjoy our friendship as it is, and I wouldn't want to do anything to affect tha—"

"Wait." Spencer interrupted urgently, before catching himself. "Sorry, um, before that, can I say something?"

"Um, ok, shoot." You replied meekly, trying to hide your relief behind a long sip of tea. There was a pause as he gathered his thoughts, and you might have been seeing things, but he looked almost... nervous? 

"The day we met, I calculated the probability of meeting somebody that shared my exact coffee order and the result was almost one in a million.” He finally spoke, lifting his head to meet your gaze. “That probability decreased when I factored in working together, sharing the same interests, and... and how I enjoyed spending time with you more than with anybody else."

Spencer cleared his throat, a blush coming onto his cheeks.

"Ever since then... my life just started making sense. I know I’m a scientist, not a poet, and I could tell you all the statistics about relationships in the world, but when it comes to you...”

His cheeks were crimson now, as he ran his fingers through his hair. You had a feeling yours looked the same.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I think you're beautiful and smart, and I have no idea what you see in me, but I'd really—"

Suddenly, both your phones buzzed violently against his coffee table, jolting you out of the moment. You leaned over in a trained motion, only to see exactly what you expected:

Garcia: No rest for the wicked, crime fighters. Conference room in 30.

Penny: No rest for the wicked, crime fighters. Conference room in 30.

You let out a sigh you didn't realise you were holding, and Spencer looked over at you, doe-eyed and nervous.

“The case?" He asked quietly.

There was a silence filled with words unsaid. "We should go." He said finally. "If we leave now, we can still make it on time."

You only nodded in response, more out of duty than desire, and gulped down the rest of your tea. The thought of what he was about to say burned down your throat.

Driving away from Spencer’s apartment was torturous. The doctor hadn’t said anything to you since he entered the car, only fiddling with his bag as he looked out the window. It was too dark to read his expression, but you wondered if he could still hear the way he called you ��beautiful”, or whether the moment had already dissolved into the space between you.

Luckily, you didn’t need to wait long for an answer, as Spencer tugged on your sleeve before you exited the carpark, his face scrunched in worry.

"I really didn't mean for that to be so... weird. Can we talk about this again after the case?" He asked softly, and despite every semblance of logic left in your brain, you couldn’t stop the hope from blooming in your chest and you smiled.

That was when Spencer did something completely uncharacteristic. (You didn't know this at the time, but it was something that you would tease him about for a long time after.)

In one fluid movement, the doctor pulled you into a tight hug that elicited a squeak from you, but it only took a second for the initial shock to wear off before you relaxed completely into his warm touch. He took that as a sign to continue, burying his head into your shoulder and letting out a content sigh.

Unlike waking up to your bodies intertwined, nothing about this was a mistake. Not the way his fingers stroked your back peacefully, nor the way his curly hair tickled your cheek. You felt the stress of the past two weeks melt away in his embrace, and so did any coherent thought, except one: normal friends didn't hug each other like this.

Later when the two of you finally entered the conference room, miraculously still on time, nobody commented on the smiles plastered on your faces but everybody could tell. They were profilers after all.

But for the first time in awhile, you were just too happy to care.

-----------

Tag List:

@blue-space-porgs @nobutalsoyes @lady-loves-a-lot @queen-flower @oops-all-ajs @spottedzebrasinpartyhats @agentcarterisgay @totalmess191 @sapphic-prentiss @mellowalieneggsknight || @averyhotchner @amesandpineapples @willowrose99

Definition of a False Start here

[harryspet]

the good guy | steve rogers

[warnings] dark steve rogers x reader, pre-serum steve x reader, 40′s setting, petite reader, angst, noncon sex (wear a condom, kids), public sex?

A/N: this was inspired by @darkastrea​ ‘s idea where the reader falls for skinny steve because he’s small like her and makes her less insecure but after the war she’s not attracted to him anymore and super soldier steve doesn’t handle the rejection well. 

THIS ADULT CONTENT AND CONTAINS TRIGGERING SUBJECTS

In which Steve returns from the war and things just aren’t the same. 

word count: 3.6k

Everyone looked past you. Even your own family. Steve was the only one who understood that. He understood everyone looking down on you, literally. He was small like you but he was the one who knew how to stand up for himself. You admired that. 

The first time you met him, he had ducked into the bakery you worked at part time. The sign clearly read “closed” but the lights of the shop were still on. As he hid behind one of the tables, you watched as a group of men ran past the front of the store, completely missing their target. 

He had always had a way of astonishing you. When he introduced himself that night, you had no idea how deep your bond would grow. 

You were barely over five feet and that seemed to shock Steve as much as his height shocked you. Everyone seemed to tower over you and every woman Steve met towered over him. No thanks to the family you grew up with, most men intimidated you. Steve seemed to be different than most guys. 

“Do you always go looking for fights?” You asked, handing him a cup of coffee. You took a break from closing up the shop to get to know the courageous stranger. 

“Not always, ma’am,” He answered, a sly smile on his face, “But I’ve noticed that they just continue to pick on you when you stand down.”

You nervously tapped at your coffee cup as his words sunk in, “But won’t they always win when they’re bigger than you …” Steve could sense the double meaning behind your words but decided it was best not to dig into the intimacies of a strangers life. 

“They lose their power when you’re confident. They assume. because you’re smaller, that you’re mentally weaker. They back off when you show them you’re not.”

You slowly nodded, stirring your spoon around your coffee, “Is that why you ran in here?”

“Oh, those guys? My method works better against one guy, not six. With six guys, you just gotta run,” You laughed at that and Steve noted your beautiful smile. In all these years, he’d never gotten close to getting a girl to smile like that for him. They looked past him because of his scrawny looks yet you saw him, “Are you the Gloria in Gloria’s Sweets?”

You shook your head, your smile still wide, “Oh no, that’s my boss. I’m Y/N,” Steve held his hand out to shake yours. 

“Steve Rogers.”

You looked down at your watch, knowing that you’d be expected home soon, “Well, if you don’t mind, I have to clean up and then get home.” As you stood up from your seat, Steve stood up abruptly too. 

“I can help,” He rushed out, “And I can escort you home … since it’s so late.”

Your head cocked to the side, curiously, “Really?”

“Of course,” Steve said, “It’s the least I could do after distracting you from work.”

You slowly nodded in agreement, “Okay.”

You cleaned up the kitchen together and Steve explained the reason those six guys were chasing him. Apparently, he was out drinking with his friend Bucky and saw the drunks messing with a stray cat, throwing bottles at it. He kindly tried to tackle one of the guys and the chase ensued. “At least the cat escaped,” Steve said. 

You closed up the shop and allowed Steve to walk you home. Luckily, there was no sign of the group of men from before. You walked the five blocks home, Steve acting as your “protection”. Really, you were just enjoying his company. 

“This is me,” You said as you stopped in front of your building, “We should probably say bye here. My family will send me to some Christian camp in the midwest if they catch me with a boy.”

Steve nodded, his lips in a thin line, “... Can I ... Can I see you again, Y/N?”

You nodded, a soft smile on your lips, “You know where I work. Swing by any time, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve’s heart did a backflip in his chest and a happy warmth heated his cheeks, “Yes, ma’am.”

+

You hadn’t realized what you were experiencing with Steve was a crush until this moment. When you ran together on the sandy beach because he surprised you with a day trip. He knew you had been stressed out from nursing school and wanted to help you relax. 

Your mother thought you were at a girl friend’s home, of course, but even she had met Steve already. Five months ago, you invited Steve to dinner with your family. It was one of the most awkward experiences of your life. Your father grilled him on his intentions, your mother didn’t seem to think he was worthy of you and your older brothers made jokes about his appearance. 

You thought he might be done with you after that. Turns out, Steve was quite used to people talking to him that way. It hadn’t scared him off at all, only made him understand why you acted the way you did. He understood why you went through life with your head down. 

Your family had bulldozed over you for your entire life. 

You snapped out of the memory as Steve grabbed your hand. He spun you in a circle and you danced around in the sand. The waves were loud and the people celebrating Memorial Day. 

The two of you plopped down onto the sand as you attempted to catch your breath. Your long cream skirt was dirtied but that didn’t matter much to you. You were focused on the sparkling blue in his eyes, the hint of green you noticed, and how incredibly kind they were. 

“Steve,” You breathed, “Thank you.”

“For what?” He grinned back at you. 

For caring like no one ever has. For letting you talk. For making you laugh. 

“For today,” You said instead, “I really needed this.”

You stayed at the beach all day, eating the lunch Steve packed for the two of you and then laying down to look at the stars as night set. 

Your hands brushed against each other but neither of you was bold enough to grab onto one another. 

“Y/N,” You turned your head to him as he called your name, “I brought you here to tell you something.”

You turned on your side, resting your head against your hand, “What’s that?”

The eager look on your face quickly fell as you realized he wasn’t about to confess his love for you, “You know how badly I wanted to enlist,” You nodded your head, scared of his next words, “Well, an opportunity arose. I get to go to boot camp, to train, and finally prove myself. If I get chosen for this project, I can make a real difference.”

Bullies. Steve hated bullies no matter where they came from. 

You were quiet for a moment and Steve struggled to read the emotions on your face, “I want to be happy for you, I do. This is your dream …” Your voice trailed off, “But I worry, Steve. They rejected you five times. What makes you think you’re not just a sacrifice?”

Steve simply shrugged, “It’s the cause that matters more. I want to help any way that I can.”

“You don’t care about coming back,” Your eyes welled with tears, “To me?”

“Of course I do,” Steve turned on his side now, reaching out to brush a tear from your cheek, and brush a curl behind your ear, “But I have to do this. I just have to. And when I get back, we’re going to drive across the country and see all the sites. From east to west, we’ll see everything.”

“I hope you mean that, Steve. Promise you’ll come back?”

“I swear.”

+

Steve kept his promise. It took until the very end of the war but he kept his promise. Only, things had changed so much since last saw him. You couldn’t believe the Steve you saw in those newspapers. He had completely turned into a hero. You already knew he was a hero but it seemed the rest of the world could recognize it now. 

Your family’s tune completely changed. Now they were begging you to marry him. Deep down, with all the changes, you didn’t even expect Steve to care about you anymore. Every woman in the world was swooning over him. 

As you stepped out of the brownstone where your classes were held, clutching your brown sweater tight to you, you didn’t expect the sight before you. Steve was there, clad in his army brown suit, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. 

The girls who normally brushed past you stopped to stare. It baffled them that Steve was there for you, someone who was barely noticeable in a crowd. 

Steve’s white smile was wide as you approached him, clutching your bag at your side, “Steve-” He instantly pulled you into a hug and, already, you felt things were off. Your head was pressed against his chest as he pulled you in and his suffocating, strong arms wrapped around you. He was an entire foot taller now and had gained at least a hundred more pounds of pure muscle. 

He didn’t look anything like the Steve you knew before, even his face had changed slightly. 

You spoke as he finally let you go, “Steve, what are you-”

“These are for you,” He interrupted you, handing you the flowers, “God, I really missed you.”

“I missed you too,” You agreed, smiling awkwardly up at him. You looked around to see a group of people were staring, “Maybe we could talk somewhere else?”

Steve agreed, his smile still wide. He hadn’t yet noticed your trepidation through the excitement of it all. 

You and Steve found a restaurant a few blocks away, but even there, people seemed to stare at the two of you. The waitress practically spilled coffee on you from being distracted by him, “Y/N, is something wrong?”

You shook your head though you didn’t mean it, “It’s just … this is all so new. I didn’t expect you’d come back …. like this.”

Steve didn’t seem to get the hint, “What do you think? Do you like the new features?” Part of you was grateful that there was a table between the two of you. The man radiated so much power now, “I can make more than a difference now. I can run a mile in less than a minute, lift a war missile. I can protect the little guys.”

“That’s great,” You were happy for him but you couldn’t help but feel a bit intimidated by his newfound abilities, “Those goons at the bars won’t know what hit them.”

Steve chuckled, “Enough about me. How’s school?”

“It’s good. My finals are soon so we’ll find out if I have what it takes.”

“I’m sure you do,” Steve assured you, “You’re the smartest girl I know, Y/N. What about your family?”

“They’re the same. In my business as usual,” You thought about your next words carefully, “My mom … she’s starting to set me up on all these dates. She says that, in case I don’t pass my exams, that I should have someone to support me. Things are getting tight, you know?”

“Oh?” You saw the light leave his eyes and you mentally cursed, “Are you really interested in one of these guys?”

You shrugged, “I’m not sure. I really just want to focus on school and work. Dating is so complicated.”

“Oh,” Steve said again, tucking the ring box he held under the table back into his pocket, “Yes, complicated … before I left, I thought we sort of had a shot, Y/N.”

“... Me and the super soldier? The world would probably laugh at you for choosing someone like me.”

“They wouldn’t. If they did, I’d take care of ‘em.”

“It’s a sweet fantasy, Steve.”

With that, you successfully broke Captain America’s heart. 

+

Steve thought you just needed time. You’d soon realize that he was still like the old Steve and you’d come running into his arms later, begging to be with him. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed, three months to be exact, because you had changed the way you saw him. 

You still entertained him during your late shifts and you got to hear all about his secret missions. He still had the same sense of justice that you had admired him for. You could barely believe the things that he accomplished. 

Tonight, Steve refused to just sit around the diner, he wanted to go out. He was going to take you into the new drive-in upstate. He had a completely new car courtesy of SHIELD and he was keen to show you a life of luxury. You had never heard of a drive-in before, let alone been to one. Steve explained to you that they were going to be the “next big thing”. 

He paid a couple of cents for the movie, even though you told him that you’d pay for yourself. You noticed how, lately when you protested, he’d simply raise his hand up and give you a look that said “I’ve got this”. You knew he was only trying to be a gentleman but part of you disliked the feeling it gave you. 

The two of you met up with Bucky and his current fling. Both Steve and Bucky seemed to be riding the high that winning the war brought them. You watched them talk before the movie, Bucky’s girl practically drooling over him. As you went to your separate cars, it seemed she couldn’t keep her hands off of him. 

As you watched them kiss, practically swallowing each other, Steve wrapped his arm around your shoulder. You tried your best not to let out a sigh as you watched him try to play it cool, “I don’t think they’re stopping to breathe,” You commented and Steve’s eyes looked past you into the car beside yours. You didn’t notice but Steve’s eyes had turned to you, “I mean, I didn’t even know people kissed like that in real life.”

When you turned back around to look at Steve, he was suddenly grabbing your face and smashing his lips onto yours. Hungry and desperate, sloppy and inexperienced, his lips moved against your frozen face. As soon as the realization hit, you tried your best to push him away. It was like pushing at a boulder. 

“Steve-” You struggled to cry out against his lips, “Steve, stop!”

When Steve finally pulled away, you tried to catch your breath as you wiped away your smudged lipstick. Steve stared at you in disbelief as you shouted, “What is wrong with you?” Luckily, the windows were rolled up and people were focused on the movie screen, “What did I say to make you think I wanted to kiss you? Y-You said this wasn’t a date.”

“I’m … I’m sorry,” He apologized. It was stupid to think that his new body had changed everything. He was still that small kid that would get rejected over and over. Steve turned away from you, his blood starting to boil. 

“I want to go home,” You told him, not meeting his eyes. Could you even be his friend anymore? Everything about him was beginning to intimidate you. 

Steve didn’t say another word as he put the car in reverse. He wasted no time interrupting Bucky’s makeout session or finishing the movie. The two of you sat in silence for a long while as you drove down the dark, winding road. 

“That day at the beach, you cried,” You looked up and noted how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel, “You cried when you heard I was getting shipped off and, now … what’s changed, Y/N?”

You could sense the hurt in this voice and your lip began to wobble as you thought of those nights you spent crying over him, “Steve ... “ You sighed.

“What is it?” Steve persisted, “I told you that I don’t care what other people think!”

“Steve, that’s not it!” You insisted, “You’re not … you’re not the little guy anymore. Being with you used to make me feel safe a-and now ....”

“Now I’m just like every other guy?” You nodded, your face solemn. The car slowed down and Steve pulled to the side of the road, “I’m the bad guy now? After everything?”

“I know you’re not the bad guy … ” As he turned his body to face you, you felt yourself cowering back, your small body sinking into the leather seat. You felt the frustration and testosterone radiating off of him. Your breathing hitched in your throat as Steve pulled out the ring box in his pocket. 

“I don’t understand why you can’t just accept me,” Steve spoke, his deep voice growing rougher, “Why can’t you just love me like you used to?”

“You’re a killing machine,” You spoke softly, “A tool for destruction.”

The car went silent as Steve simply stared at you, that same hunger in his eyes. He reached out to grab your face, “I can be gentle,” He tried to assure you and you reached up to grab onto his arm, pushing it away. The fact that the only reason his hand moved was because he wanted to move it, was enough for you. If he wanted, he could do anything to you. 

“Steve, I want to go home,” You stated as firmly as you could. Your hands were starting to shake, your anxiety reaching a new height. 

“You aren’t going anywhere,” Steve stated firmly, turning off the ignition, “Not until you agree to let me put that ring on your finger.”

Your eyes darted around, looking for a passerby or a car to drive by. Nothing. You began to panic and before Steve could reach out for you again, you opened the passenger door and stumbled out, “Y/N!” Your hands hit the dirt as you scrambled to your feet and you quickly lost one of your heels. Despite the pain of the dirt and asphalt, you slipped off the other one, picking up your long skirt as you began to run. 

You had never heard Steve curse before but he did as he got out of the car to chase you, “Y/N, don’t run from me!” You sped up as you heard him coming after you. You thought you could at least make it a few more feet but the wind was knocked out of you as Steve wrapped his arms around you. 

You fought hard against the man that was three times your size though you both knew your efforts were futile. He easily tossed you over your shoulder and carried you the distance back to the car. You called for help and as he set you back down, he covered your mouth with his own hand, his fingers tightening around your face. 

You screamed even harder as you kicked between his legs. He let you go only to fall on top of you, sending you both to the ground. Steve groaned, still managing to hold your hands down as he recovered. He was fuming at this point as you squirmed around in the dirt. Looking into your frightened eyes, Steve made a decision. 

A decision that would make you regret ever handing him that cup of coffee. 

“I protect you, I protect everyone, and I’m the bad guy?” It was rhetorical, you understood that as Steve tore open your blouse, exposing your white brassier, “I’ll show you what I am.”

Steve pinned down your legs with his own as he held your arms pinned above your head with one of his own. Not bothering to fumble with your skirt, he simply tore away the fabric. You screamed louder but only the silence of the night answered you. 

Steve pulled away your white underwear, exposing your sensitive area to the cool air of the night, “Steve, I-I’m sorry,” You pleaded, choking on your sobs, “Please don’t, I’m a virgin!”

“Then this will be special for both of us,” Steve concluded, fumbling with his belt and pulling down his trousers. You tried not to look down as he positioned himself between your legs, “We’re going to be happy together like we were intended to be. It’ll feel so good that you’ll forget your doubts”

His grip on you was so tight that you were sure that he’d leave bruises. As he pushed his tip against your entrance, you could feel how hard he was. This wasn’t how your first time should’ve been. You should be married and on a honeymoon, not on the side of the road. 

You cried out as he slowly pushed inside of you. Your body continued to struggle, resulting in Steve moving his hand to wrap around your neck. His fingers tightened around your neck as you struggled to breathe clearly. 

You wrapped around him tightly, resisting him but Steve pushed through. It was a magical feeling to Steve. All he could ask for was having his first time with the woman of his dreams. 

Steve grunted as his pace began to quicken. He made you feel so small and defenseless. The member between his legs was practically the size of your forearm, successfully impaling you. You couldn’t believe that your body was beginning to adjust to him. It was starting to get pleasure from the friction he was creating. 

“That’s it, darling,” Steve groaned as mangled moans began to leave your mouth, “Enjoy the feeling of me being inside you, enjoy being mine. You don’t need someone ‘good’, you need someone efficient.”

That night, after he had taken your virtue, Steve knew he had the rest of you too. He’d make you his little wife.

+

Hope you enjoyed this because I loved writing it!!

[nugnthopkns]

eyes full of stars

word count: 3.1k

warnings: insinuated!fem reader, cursing, alcohol consumption, slight sexual innuendo (kind sorta maybe, minors please be aware)

recommended listening: cowboy like me | taylor swift

a/n: it’s cold and snowy. to combat the winter blues i wrote about a sunny minnesota summer with brock :))

You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen Brock this carefree. 

The season was hard on him. There were large periods where he didn’t put up any points, and trade rumors started to circulate. Halfway through, before the playoff push even started, the negative social media comments came rolling in. You frequently saw fans request a trade or say that the organization should regret drafting him. Brock did his best to brush everything off, but it was beginning to waer on his mental health. You’re devastated when they fail to make it to the postseason, but you know it’s for the best. The injured team will spend the offseason recuperating and be ready for the next one. Besides, it means you and Brock will get to spend more time on the lake. 

So here you are, packing the car for the twenty-seven hour drive to Minnesota. Brock insists on driving, says it’s relaxing, but you aren’t sure you agree. Prone to car-sickness so fierce you can barely look out the window, you’d much rather fly. Everything is exasperated by the fact you’re a nervous traveller to begin with, afraid of taking a wrong turn or missing an exit. You’re a terrible road trip partner but at least Brock could talk to the dogs. Coolie and Milo loved car rides, and you can typically hear your boyfriend having full on conversations with them as you fade in and out of consciousness. 

“Ready to go babe?” Brock asks as he closes the trunk. The question is delivered with a bright grin, and despite your anxiety you return it with ease. 

“I don’t really have much of a choice do I?”

He shakes his head, chuckling as he moves towards you. Sliding his hands into the back pockets of your jeans he kisses you lazily. It’s comforting and all-consuming at the same time; doing a great job of occupying your mind with thoughts of him instead of the journey ahead. “I suppose not,” he says, planting a final kiss on your forehead. “It’ll be fine. You can take a Gravol right before we cross the border and you’ll be asleep before we hit Seattle.”

It’s the best plan of attack, so you agree immediately. After taking one last run into your shared apartment to use the bathroom and make sure everything is in order, you make yourself comfortable in the passenger seat of Brock’s jeep. Music filters through the speakers at a low volume, and you focus on the retreating skyline of Vancouver. You’re excited to get back to Minnesota, to relax and see your boyfriend in his natural habitat. Countless days are about to be spent lounging lakeside enjoying each other’s company. It will also be nice to spend time with Brock’s family: they’ve been incredibly welcoming over the years and you can’t wait to catch up with them. You know Brock’s itching to spend time with his nephew, and just to be at home. 

Just as Brock said, you’re asleep before Bellingham. It’s fitful, and you’re frequently woken up by the dogs barking a little too excitedly in response to something Brock said. However, it does a good job of keeping you from emptying the contents of your stomach onto the floor. Somewhere in Idaho, a good seven hours after you left Canada, you awake for the final time. 

“Look boys, Mom’s finally awake!”

You laugh at the comment and lean over the center console to ruffle his hair. It’s still long from the season, and curls slightly around your fingertips. 

“You’re hilarious.”

Brock takes his right hand off the steering wheel, unravelling yours from its resting place and entwining your fingers together. He places a kiss to the back of your palm. “You know I’m just teasing,” he whispers. “I know these drives are hard on you. Thank you for doing it twice a year.”

Instead of answering verbally, you squeeze his hand tighter. Though it’s true you hate driving through five states, you’d do it twice a week if it would make Brock happy. It seems a bit much to convey with a single gesture, but you can tell from the smile that graces his features that Brock understands. The two of you sit in silence, enjoying the scenery and trying to scout for a rest stop. Coolie and Milo are getting antsy and you’re also due to stretch your legs. 

After letting the dogs run around to release some energy and using the bathroom, you start the final leg of the day. Missoula, Montana, is the destination. Not quite the halfway point, but close enough that you could tackle the rest of the miles tomorrow, the city has a wide variety of pet-friendly lodging. You insist you drive the rest of the way, giving Brock a well deserved rest. Looking at the interstate for hours can cause serious highway hypnosis. Not even twenty minutes after getting back on the road he’s asleep, snoring softly as he rests his head on the window. 

You take a moment to admire your boyfriend. He looks so relaxed and peaceful, and the forehead creases that are starting to develop from over analyzing hours of tape disappear. Brock looks years younger, and you know the youthfulness will creep back into him the longer you’re in Minnesota. You can’t wait to see him without any cares again. 

Less than two hours later, the hotel creeps up on your left. Pulling into the first available parking space, you turn the car off before waking Brock. 

“Brock, we’re at the hotel,” you say softly, jostling his shoulder. “Let’s get checked in and then we shower.”

The mention of washing off a day’s worth of travel has him letting the door fly open. You had made sure to pack your overnight bags in an easily accessible spot, and work at getting them out while Brock wrangles the dogs. For being cooped up all day, they’re extremely well behaved. Once cleaned up you imagine you’ll take them on a long walk and grab some food. 

“Hey, give that back. Milo!” you hear Brock yelp, and peek around to see what’s happening. The younger pup has Brock’s bucket hat between his teeth and is in the process of tearing across the parking lot. 

With a giggle you call him back. “Milo, come here baby,” you say. Without a second thought, the dog bolts towards you, knocking against your shins when he fails to stop in time. You lean down to scratch Milo’s ear, and as soon as you ask him to drop the object he places it in your open palm. “Good boy,” you coo, letting him lick the side of your face. 

“He’s your dog alright,” Brock huffs from where he’s standing, Coolie running circles around his ankles. 

You toss the hat over the roof of the car as you laugh at him. “You’re just jealous he listens to me.”

“I sure fucking am. He’d be an absolute nuisance if it wasn’t for you.”

The rest of the night is spent unwinding from the long day. Dinner consists of the greasiest burgers you can find, and you roam around the city hand in hand, the dogs leading you. By the time you get back to the hotel you’re spent. Sleep takes over rather quickly, and you’re dozing off before Brock gets back from brushing his teeth. Once ready for bed, he slides his body against yours. The pair of you fit together like a puzzle, and after a quick kiss you let sleep consume you. 

The second day of travel is much the same, except you do a better job of staying awake. You take a different anti-nausea medication and frequently switch with Brock. Conversation flows easily, ideas for summer excursions and repairs that need to be done around the house. The Boeser’s are kind enough to lend you their lake house during the off season, but the property can be a lot to manage. Brock takes it all in stride, and somehow actually enjoys spending hours mowing the grass. He says it’s relaxing, mind numbing work, so you let him handle it. Country music flows from the car speakers, and eventually talking turns into a full on concert. Milo and Coolie do their best to harmonize with Brock, and it’s too cute not to post somewhere. You sneak your phone from your pocket and manage to catch some of it on video, posting to Instagram immediately. Those from the Canucks organization you have on social media will love it; Brock’s teammates will most definitely chirp him for being tone deaf. 

It’s late by the time you pull into the driveway of your temporary home, almost eleven. Grabbing only the essentials and leaving the rest to be unpacked tomorrow, you unlock the door before flopping on the couch. The dogs follow suit, laying on top of you. When Brock walks in he shakes his head, but still leans over to kiss you. 

“Make sure you text your mom and let her know we made it,” you call to his retreating figure. “And let her know we’ll be over in the afternoon once we get situated.”

You swear he flips you off, no doubt poking fun at your maternal instincts. “Yes ma’am,” he replies. 

“Ma’am?” you shriek. “I am not fifty. You’re so gonna get it Boeser.”

After gently nudging the dogs off your legs you’re chasing after him, laughing all the way. Brock’s a lot faster than you, being the athlete he is, but you don’t give up hope. In a last ditch attempt to get him back, you launch yourself forward, square into the middle of his back. The change in weight distribution has him falling to the floor, sprawling the width of the hallway. Both of you are giggling messes, delirious from lack of sleep and the knowledge you get to spend four months of uninterrupted time together. 

“I love you, you know that right,” Brock murmurs into the crook of your neck. He dots chaste pecks along the skin and you sigh at the feeling. 

Pulling him closer, you make sure to properly enunciate your words as you respond. “Yes sir.”

Brock eyes darken visibly, and he shifts his body so he’s resting on top of you. “You’re in for it now,” he groans, dragging himself to his feet. You quickly follow, meeting his lips in an eager kiss. The pair of you stumble the rest of the way to the bedroom, bodies intertwining like ivy vines, and Brock makes sure to kick the door shut to ensure your pets don’t interrupt the salacious activities he has planned. 

☼☼☼☼

You settle into a routine fairly quickly. Mornings are spent alone while Brock works out, and afternoons are for lounging in the sun. The hours after the sun fades away are spent huddling around a bonfire with friends, and midnights are for just the two of you. Sometimes Brock lets himself rest and spends the day in the middle of the lake doing his best to fish, leaving you to spend time with his mom and sister. They’re lovely; warm and welcoming, making sure you’re never too lonely or bored. You and Brock also spend a lot of time with his nephew, doting over the toddler. Seeing your boyfriend with him makes you want kids, but that’s a conversation that is yet to be had in any serious light. 

Sometimes you join Brock when he does typical professional hockey player in the summer things. It turns out you're quite the golfer, and have put him to shame many times. Countless days are spent helping him fix the roof of the lake house because he insists on doing it himself even though he knows nothing about roofing. At least seven phone calls to his father and a desperate run to the hardware store later, it’s completed; sealed and free of cracks. Though you’re a terrible fisher, Brock tries his best to teach you. Truth be told, you don’t have any interest in the sport, but his tongue pokes out slightly when he’s thinking about how to explain a concept and you think it’s adorable. 

Coolie and Milo are loving being able to roam free, and you both spend a lot of time outside with them. You’re only ever really in the house at night, reading or playing games on the patio furniture Brock’s mom picked out. It’s peaceful; existing like this. You swear you could do it forever. 

Being home allows an invisible weight to be lifted off Brock’s shoulders. There’s a pep in his step, and he’s always smiling. Even the intense at-home workouts can’t seem to bring him down. You’re delighted, how could you not be? It’s as if the only things that matter to him are enjoying a few beers lakeside and coaxing you out of shorts in the dark. You suppose that’s the truth. 

☼☼☼☼

It’s incredibly warm out. The sun beats down on your back as you turn the pages of your novel, half listening to the conversation Brock is having with his friends. A group of you are on the boat, enjoying one of the last full days of summer. Later in the week you and Brock will pack up the car again, making the long trek back to Vancouver. You’re sad time has passed so fast, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited to be back in the city. It’s your home, and the boys seem to be really fired up for the new season. You have a feeling some really good hockey is going to come out of Rogers Arena. 

“Yo Y/N, who’s the better driver. Me or Boes?” 

The question pulls you from the fantasy taking place on the pages, and you look to see who’s speaking to you. It’s Brock’s dearest childhood friend, someone you consider family at this point. “It’s absolutely not Brock,” you shrug. The comment earns a loud laugh from everyone and you find yourself joining in. 

“Ouch babe, that hurts,” Brock says as he slides into the free space next to you. Casually wrapping a strong arm around your shoulder, he leans down to whisper into your ear. “Looks like you need to be taught a lesson.”

His words have a vaguely sexual connotation, and you look around nervously. Your swimsuit won’t cover the flush that will be sure to rise on your skin if Brock tries anything. Everyone seems to be engaged in their own conversations, but you still feel queasy about getting caught. Though Brock’s friends are the type to laugh it off, you’d be absolutely mortified. 

Before your brain can overthink anything else, you’re being lifted from your seat. It only takes two seconds for Brock to hoist you over the side of the boat and throw you into the cool water. You land with a glorious splash, but take your time coming to the surface. Partly to bring your temperature down, partly to make your lover squirm. 

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you yell to him from below, but the bright smile you flash him lets Brock know you don’t mean it. 

He sets his hat on top of your book before climbing over the edge. “Shut up,” he fires back, diving gracefully to join you in the water. 

A small splashing match breaks out, and soon everyone else is in the water, picking sides. You swim until your skin is wrinkled beyond recognition, pruned and puckered something akin to a raisin. Only once the sky begins to redden do you head for home. Brock keeps the boat at cruising speed, and you sit comfortably in his lap. Once back on land, dinner is quickly thrown together. A mish-mash of what’s left in your fridge and what others have brought, but it works. The boys huddle around the grill and everyone else swoons over the dogs, who are on their best behaviour. 

Later in the night, once the dishes are cleaned up and some guests with day jobs have left, you settle into Brock’s side at the fire. Not caring if you get chirped for the PDA, you hold his face in both your hands and rest your forehead against his. The scruff that’s grown in since the last time Brock shaved tickles slightly, but you’re too in love with him to care. It’s been so refreshing to see him relaxed, acting without a care in the world. Hopefully the attitude he currently has will stick and not disappear once you hit the Vancouver city limits. 

Brock takes a sip of his beer before offering the bottle to you. You gingerly place it to your lips, making a face at the taste. He laughs at your reaction, pushing a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. 

“Still tastes disgusting,” you mutter, reaching for your own drink to wash away the taste. 

The fire crackles gently behind you but you barely register the sound, in your own little world where everything is perfect. It’s you, Brock, and the dogs living in a house similar to the one you’re currently residing in, living life to the fullest. 

“You gonna come back to me, space cadet?” Brock chuckles, tracing the outline of your nose. 

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry,” you apologize. “Was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Us. The future. Living in a lake house just like this one and spending all our time being so in love with each other that our friends constantly make fun of us. Maybe having kids in a couple of years. How I love seeing you like this; so at peace and full of life.”

In lieu of a response, Brock kisses you passionately. It’s a soft kind of passion: one that holds you tenderly and whispers sweet nothings in your ear. He tastes like the Coors Light he’s been drinking, but somehow the idea of beer is much more appealing when mixed with Brock. You lose yourself in him for a while, relishing in the gentleness of his hands resting on your waist. Eventually you return some of your attention to the others, but even then you can’t find it in yourself to focus. Your mind is filled with nothing but love for Brock. 

It’s seems that he’s feeling the same way, because he continually leaves kisses across your shoulder blade. “I really, really love you,” Brock confesses, and you feel him smile through the thin material of your worn hoodie. 

You intertwine your pinky with his and let them sit comfortably in your lap. “I love too. So much that it’s all consuming.”

Brock often leaves you breathless in more ways than one, but sweet sentiments like this will always take the cake. Especially when they happen on summer nights where he’s free to be his authentic self.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales​ @kiedhara​ @tortito​ if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff & @punkkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 16:

Hours after Noelle Landed in Montreal, Thomas and Clay landed in New Orleans. A few hours ago Clay’s parents dropped his truck off at the airport so he could take Thomas around the city to see his favorite places. They didn’t bring much just carry on backpacks, so walking out the door and feeling the heat was what they did next.

“It’s Winter!”

“It’s so warm, I missed it.” Clay sighs happily and grabs the little dangly adjustment strap to Thomas’ bag and starts leading him to where his parents said his truck was following the directions on his phone that his mom typed out. It stayed in daily parking so they didn’t have to go inside the parking garage. Thankfully. Thomas was expecting Clay’s truck to be just like his one in Gryffindor, large bright red and loud, but to his surprise they start walking over to a teal blue old truck. It must have been from the 70’s or something. Thomas stopped a couple feet back just taking in the scene.

Clay, glowing under the sun just in a shirt and jeans standing next to a light blue truck making this all seem like a picture on one of those tiny calendars with old cars on them. The concrete around them was a bit off but he didn’t mind.

“What? Something wrong?” Clay looks at him from the other side of the truck after finding his keys in his bag and tossing it into the bed of the truck. “You can toss your bag in the back if you want, there isn’t a ton of room in the front.”

“I was just looking at something pretty is all.” Thomas acts all nonchalant as he tosses his bag in the back next to Clay’s and climbs in the now unlocked vehicle. Clay gets in on the driver's side and gives him a confused look, turning his head in the direction of where Thomas was just looking.

“All I see are cars, was there a cool one I missed?” He looks back at Thomas only to find his boyfriend a good inch from his face. He feels his cheeks heating up and hopes Thomas can’t tell. “What?”

“I was staring at you, Stupid.” Clay feels his cheeks get even more red and glares at Thomas a bit. Thomas has definitely stuck to his words recently in telling Clay he is ‘Pretty’ and ‘Beautiful’ all the time but Clay still doesn’t know how to react. Recently it has been smacking Thomas upside the head… then usually smooching him but that's besides the point. He has grown up his whole life being criticized for how he looks, then suddenly girls were throwing themselves at him and calling him ‘Hot’ and ‘Sexy’ but never the things Thomas or Noelle says.

It makes him feel vulnerable when they say stuff like that.

“Shut up.” Clay gives him a quick kiss and goes to pull away but Thomas holds him by his shirt to deepen the kiss, Clay doesn’t even try to fight against it. He smiles and kisses him more sweetly before they actually pull away. “I’m hungry, let's go eat!” He smiles a bit as Thomas laughs and buckles up, pulling out of the parking lot he starts to drive further into the heart of the city. Thomas watches all the old and new buildings mix together to make a wonderful blend of modern and historical.

It was so amazing, beautiful and fun.

He notices the buildings are getting more off the ground and raises an eyebrow, he goes to ask Clay what the houses are doing on stilts but the NOLA Native beats him to the punch.

“They are for when it floods during storms. Like hurricanes and flash floods, we have a flood wall as well but they don’t always hold up.” Clay has put on his dark wire framed sunglasses, driving with one hand on the wheel and his other elbow resting on the open window seal of the car, wind blowing through his hair. Just looking so in his element. “We are headed towards the harbor because they have the best seafood boil restaurants. My favorite is Mama Junes but Leo’s is Olive and Otto’s. So we tend to fight about where we want to go.” Clay glances over to Thomas who is just soaking everything in. Looking relaxed and calm.

They pull into the small broken concrete parking lot and park right in front. There are old buildings lining the narrow sidewalk just feet away from the docks. The sidewalk was poorly taken care of but it added character. Clay hop out of the truck and wanders over to Thomas side and opens the door bowing to him.

“Your highness.” Then he trips him on the way out making him stumble causing Clay to laugh hard enough he has to lean against the truck so he doesn’t fall over. Thomas rolls his eyes smiling and closes the door. Looking out at the docks he notices all the people doing their jobs and wonders what it would be like to be on a massive ship. He is knocked out of his thoughts by being hit in the side of the head by a pen.

“Where did you even get a pen!?” Thomas picks up the pen from the ground and starts chasing Clay around the truck for a good few minutes before he finally catches him from behind and wraps his arms around his waist picking him up, swinging him around to the other side of him, both laughing uncontrollably. Thomas' stomach lets them know that it senses food is nearby by rumbling loudly.

“That was weird I could feel your stomach growling, we should go eat before the fishermen get off work for the night.” Clay turns around in Thomas arms and just looks over his face for a moment, running his fingertips over the side of his face. He loves Thomas…

He should tell him soon and Noelle, of course Noelle. She is everything, beautiful, smart, sarcastic, and treats him like a real person. Clay didn’t know if he was ever going to date another woman after Ashley, hell, he didn’t even know if he would ever get away from Ashley. But he never expected to get so lucky. He never in a million years ever expected to be loved like two people.

Well, he hopes they love him.

They pull away after just looking at each other for a solid thirty seconds before Clay leads Thomas down the street a bit to a restaurant that looks straight out of the 60’s. Thomas was picking up a theme of stuff Clay likes… the theme is old. Doesn’t help that he and Noelle are older than the southerner either. They get a table, order food, and people just keep coming up to the table to talk to Clay like old friends. Men, women, old and young everyone wanted to talk to him.

When their food does show up it is something called a ‘seafood boil’. Thomas has heard of it before but always thought it was boiled right in front of you, which it is not. It also shows up in a plastic bag for some reason. Clay teaches him how to crack crab properly, only ending in one thumb being cut open by the sharp shell. Whose thumb?

Clayton London Bruss’ and he was annoyed about it.

They finish up eating and paying, Clay gives the young waitress a 50% tip because he can and wants to. They head out the door full and happy, walking past a group of old women who are playing poker at one of the tables out front.

“Well if it isn’t Mr. Bruss himself! Long time no see, Sugar.” The woman the farthest away from Clay smiles at him and Thomas is worried this is going to go bad. “Looking mighty handsome there young man, be careful one of these days I’m gonna leave my husband for you.”

“Mrs. Bell! You can’t say stuff like that!” He laughs and walks over to give her a kiss on the cheek, giving Thomas time to take a good look at her. She was an older looking black woman who has definitely lived a full life, she was wearing a lot of blush and eyeshadow but her ruby red lipstick is what really stood out. Especially when she gave Clay a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m old, I can say what I want, within reason. Now tell me where you have been these last few months! We miss you and Leo on Fridays.”

“You here to stay for a while before you take off and get yourself hurt at those rodeos?” The woman across from Mrs. Bell spoke up, she was a white heavy set woman with a shirt that has two hurricanes on the boobs of her shirt that say ‘Lily’ and ‘Katrina’. He doesn’t know how to respond to that.

“I assure you Miss Lila, I am only here for a day or maybe two.”

“Who is this hunk that with you Clayton, I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on him.” Clay smiles brightly and walks back over to Thomas’ side. Ignoring the hungry stares pointed in Thomas' direction by all four women.

“Sorry but he is off limits.” All the women make a mock sound of disappointment. “He’s my boyfriend.” They are stunned for a moment before they all gasp in delight and congratulate them.

“You always knew how to pick them, I always thought Your friend Leo and you would end up together. But I am so happy for you.” Mrs. Bell smiles at them.

“Everyone always thought Leo and I would get together but honestly, he's not my type.” Clay winks at the ladies who all giggle as they walk past, saying goodbye to one another. The ladies pick up their game from where they left off. Thomas was still in shock. Those elderly ladies.. Congratulated them! He was not expecting that. He was expecting to be chased off with a purse or something. Then again, Clay does seem rather close to them.

“How do you know them?” Thomas looks at Clay who is saying hello to the people he knows that pass them on the way to the restaurant. He apparently knows everyone.

“Well, they have a poker tournament every Friday at Mama June’s so Leo and I would volunteer there for fun. Other people would work to get paid but we never needed the money, instead we were the two who would lose on purpose just to give the people their money. Most people who go to the tournaments are on the poorer side of town and we always tried to give back. So that's what we did. We would bet obscene amounts of money just to make sure people could pay their rent or bills or do whatever they do to relieve stress after a long week of working.” Thomas stopped walking, Clay didn’t notice for a few steps and then turned but to look. The sun was sinking down behind him and it made him glow. Thomas has known he has loved Clay for a while now but Noelle and him had a plan to tell Clay together. But at this very moment in time, his heart was so full of adoration he couldn’t help himself.

“I love you.”

Noelle watched, she watched the entire interaction her father had with Leo. She knew it wasn’t going to be good. She had listened to his insult Leo while she was in the kitchen with her mother and honestly it made her feel sick with anger. Leo was exactly what they wanted for Logan. Yet, they brush him off because of something stupid. She was pissed, helping her mother get ingredients out for dinner but decided she didn’t want to help. She was exhausted mentally and physically. So she decided to go take a nap, walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her childhood room.

The biggest bedroom in the house. It was painted seafoam green because that was her favorite color in secondary school, posters of her favorite bands and pictures of her friends all over the walls. Little origami birds made by her best friend hang from fishing line over her king sized bed with pristine crisp white matching bedspread, pillows and sheets. Her full length mirror was next to her large white desk with a lamp that cost forty dollars on it. Her bean bag chairs of varying sizes and colors on the corner next to her TV and PlayStation.

She never noticed how spoiled she was. But being in this room and then thinking about her sisters and Logan’s room, it made her ears ring with guilt. She started going to therapy after she got out of the house because she didn’t understand why she would just be consumed by guilt or sadness whenever she was around Logan. They never had a good relationship when they were younger fighting all the time, Noelle just saying really nasty things that she regrets and now they are pretty much each other's best friends. Her therapist told her that it was because her father was a narcissist and raised her to believe she was better than all her siblings but as she grew older she knew that it was wrong.

After that appointment she called Logan to apologize for everything over the phone, he was confused but still listened and let her get everything off her chest. Then he invited her and their sisters to family skate. There is where she met Thomas, she was uncomfortable around him for a while but she couldn’t understand why. Then it hit her.

Her father would speak poorly of any person of color any chance he got… and she believed him when he said all those terrible things. Things that should never be said. So she erased everything he ever said from her morals and continued to hang out with Thomas, when he asked her out it was a no brainer to say yes.

Her father wasn’t happy but it's not his life to live, she paced up and down her dorm on many nights when she should have been studying worrying about what her dad would say but in the end she understood that none of it mattered… By then she knew she was in love.

Months later she started going to the Godric University in Gryffindor to continue her masters degree she told her parents it was to keep an eye on Logan, she moved in with Thomas but never told her parents. Logan was ecstatic. She hadn’t seen him that happy in… well, when their dad told him he was proud of Logan for getting drafted and “doing something with his life”. It stung but Logan couldn’t stop smiling.

Then there was Clay. Stupid, Charming, Challenging, Beautiful Clay.

He waltzed into their lives like he was meant to. Stumbling once but never stopping. She wasn’t expecting to get a text from a random number saying “Hi, My name is Clayton and I have been talking to Thomas over the phone for a few months. He mentioned he had a girlfriend but I think we have started flirting and I wanted to let you know, because I know Thomas talks about you all the time and is madly in love with you. I just wanted to let you know that… I think I have caught feelings for him and if you would like me to stop talking to him I will.”

It scared her at first not answering the message for days, letting it hang over her like a storm cloud, Thomas had never mentioned an interest in the same sex before and she was worried she would lose him. So they talked about it, Thomas showed her the messages willingly and hadn’t noticed the flirting until she pointed it out. She started messaging Clay. They got on really well and before she knew it, he was all her and Thomas talked about.

They both realized they liked him, together.

Meeting him in person for the first time was intimidating because how do you balance a relationship already formed and stable, to a relationship with a new person at the same time? Would they get jealous? Would they fight? Would they end up splitting up?

But instead, Clay made them stronger, happier. They were happy before but sometimes it felt as though something was missing. Noelle didn’t really know or care about Polyamrous relationships until Logan started talking to her about how it feels to love two people.

“It hurts sometimes but it is also something I can’t live without. One being wild and free and the other grounded and calm, sometimes they switch or we all switch in dynamics but… I wouldn’t trade either of them for the world. It's the most I’ve ever loved and been loved in my life.” and she wanted that as well but never thought she could do it.

Then it happened, she felt like she was on the edge of a cliff ready to dive off at any minute but she was worried she would regret it. She eventually jumped, landing in the water below of safety and love, never looking back. She never would.

Her and Thomas told each other they loved one another on the same day at the same time. A day she would never forget. They were stuck in traffic arguing about something stupid, probably about schedules because that was their main issue always missing each other on the way out the door, they stopped for a moment. Noelle was still fuming but Thomas was calm, he was always calm, he put his hand on her leg and she looked at him. They held eye contact for a few seconds before they said at the same time.

“I love you.”

Clay was stunned. He stared at Thomas letting the words he just spoke sink in. He never expected to be told that by someone other than his parents, Leo, Reg and Eloise. His heart suddenly started aching and his throat became tight as he felt a drop of something on his cheek. Looking up to see if it was raining he only saw a clear blue sky beginning to tint purple. Then he felt a strong arm wrap around his waist and a hand cup his cheek, turning his head to meet those soft dark brown eyes.

“Is it raining?” Thomas smiled a bit at him and wiped his cheek.

“You’re crying. Are you okay?”

“You love me?” Thomas smiles so bright, so calm and so lovingly at him that it makes him feel like he is about to burst with emotions.

“Yes, I do.” Clay puts his hands over his own overworking heart and squeezes.

“Why?” Thomas is a bit taken back by this question, his expression changes a bit to concern for a moment. Wiping away another tear that has fallen.

“Because, you make me happy. You are caring, sweet, kind and…” Clay squeezes his eyes shut listening to Thomas list off things about himself that he couldn’t believe were true. “You are beautiful.” Clay lets out a strangled sound from his throat and turns to bury his face in Thomas’ chest hoping he could hide. “You are so so amazing Clayton, I just wish I could show you what I see, what Noelle sees too.” Oh god, they have talked about being in love with Clay and he didn’t even know! Noelle wasn’t with them but it felt as though she was everywhere. She was in the blue of the ocean, the sound of it hitting the shore. The beauty of the city just so alive yet caring. She was everywhere and not there at the same time.

“Noelle loves me too?”

“Yes, but don’t tell her I confessed for her. She will kill me.” This makes both of them chuckle. Clay pulls away enough to look Thomas in the eyes once more and he says back.

“I love you.”

Judy was waiting by the door, the food for dinner was in the oven staying warm, Garland was outside on the porch smoking a cigarette waiting for the boys to arrive. It would be any minute now. Clay says they just ate but Judy isn’t one to let her guests get hungry. She remembers Thomas from when the team was down at the Knut’s ranch for a week. She remembers him being polite and helping her move the chair around the table to make sure everyone would fit for the meals.

He was also a very good looking man, he was tall, dark and handsome as Clay would say. She never in a million years would have thought that that would be the man Clay ended up with. There was also Noelle who she spoke with when some of the team was at the bar, she was so very sweet and funny as well. But again, never someone she thought Clayton would end up with.

She saw the dust down the driveway and knew the boys were moments away, Clayton knows she doesn’t like him driving at night. She remembers when Clay was just a young little boy, coming home after driving in the dark crying because he almost hit a possum. He was always emotional. She knows people like to take advantage of his kindness and use it against him, his vulnerability showed everyone he has ever met his flaws.

She can only hope that her son is being treated well up north. She prays they aren’t like Ashley.

The truck pulls up, parking in his normal spot across from the door, hopping out of the truck Judy watches as her son and Thomas link hands as they walk towards the door. Garland stands up slowly, his back and hips have been bothering him as he gets older, shaking Thomas hand after stubbing out his cigarette he leads them inside.

“Ma!” Clay runs over to hug her and lifts her off the ground making her laugh, he seems to be in a wonderful mood. “I missed you.” He starts sniffing the air and making his way towards the kitchen knowing his favorite is somewhere to be found. He was always reminding her of her puppy. Judy places her hands on her hips and shakes her head at him. She looks at Thomas and notices the absolutely love sick face he has on as he watches Clayton leave the room. She smiles. That was something she only ever read about in her romance novels, she wonders if Garland ever looks at her that way.

“Hello Thomas, it's good to see you again.” She watches as he smiles at her and extends his hand for her to shake, she playfully swats his hand away and pulls him into a tight hug. It takes him a minute to hug back but when he does it is tight. Clayton was in good hands.

“Long time no see.” He smiles at her as they pull away, a bit pink in the face. “You look stunning as ever, I might add.”

“Stop hitting on my mom! You’re gonna make my dad jealous.” Clay smiles at Thomas from the doorway of the kitchen with an oven mitt on one hand holding a large bowl of what looks like red beans and rice. Something he always tries to replicate at home but can never get it right. A spoon on the other hand and eating straight from the bowl. Judy laughs for a second.

“Clayton, please use a plate. How many times have I told you that you can’t just eat from the bowl.” Judy takes the towel from over her shoulder and takes the bowl from him, walking in the kitchen. A few minutes later they all sat around the table eating and chatting.

“I think I’m going to bring Noelle down for the two weeks we are back here before we leave for rodeo this summer.” Clay talks with his mouth full and Thomas rolls his eyes a bit. Smiling. Sharing a look with Judy.

“Clayton, have I taught you no table manners over the years.” Judy smiles at him and Garland snorts.

“Nope!” He laughs but moves to the side so Judy can’t smack his arm. “Okay, okay. You have but this is who I am mother goose. I can’t change it.”

Garland actually laughs at this. Thomas has noticed that Garland is a rather soft spoken man, old with a round beer gut but still jolly. Kinda like Santa with the beard, but he doesn’t think Santa wears work overalls. Thomas also notices a bisexual flag pin on his old beat up hat. That must be the pin Clay talks about sneaking onto his dad's hat that he ‘never noticed’ Thomas suspects he did notice. But wants to support his son in any way he can. That makes Thomas feel so happy that he can’t explain it.

Later in the evening before the sun has fully set but the stars are out and bright, plus there is a full moon tonight lighting up the area with ease, Clay had excused himself to the restroom to clean the lipstick off his face while Garland and Thomas went outside to chat.

“Has Clayton told you anything about his last relationship?” Thomas shakes his head no watching as Garland sits down in an old rocking chair and lights a cigarette. Offering one to Thomas. He declines. “Well, she got him into a lot of trouble. Being the Sheriff daughter and all. Plus she had a temper and if I’m being honest I don’t think she ever actually liked Clayton.” He takes a drag and Thomas furrows his brow listening intently. “She only dated him for status, he was one other the only people targeted by the sheriff and he is black so she thought of him more as a chess piece to her rebellion than anything. She is pregnant now and I have a terrible feeling that…” Garland shakes his head, deciding not to tell Thomas what his theory is.

Clay walks out the door and finds them chatting.

“Not giving him the shovel talk are ya, Pa?” He smiles at Thomas and puts out his hand for him to take. “I’m gonna take him on a tractor ride because he has never been before.”

“I wasn't giving him no shovel talk but I am telling him he best respect you.” Clay smiles at his dad and nods. “Go on! I’m not keeping you from counting the cattle.”

“Ha Ha.” Clay rolls his eyes and drags Thomas over to the old looking tractor sitting by the entrance to the gate to the pasture. “Come on! There is somewhere I want to show you!” Clay got them settled, the tractor wasn't very large and it was old so he sat on Thomas’ lap as he started driving in the pasture.

“Comfy?”

“You are a very nice cushion.” Clay smiles as Thomas scoffs and wraps his arms around his waist pressing the side of his head to Clay back. He was having a great time but he was getting a bit uncomfortable from the old seat… and Clay’s ass bouncing up and down on his lap. The drive from a bit before his hard on became noticeable.

“Thomas… are you hard?” Clay can feel his cheeks heating up as he feels Thomas dick under him, ever since Thomas told him he loves him he has been wanting so have some passionate lovemaking… not necessarily on a tractor though. “Please don’t tell me tractors are you new kink.”

Thomas laughs into Clay back and smooths his hands down Clay's abdomen to rest on the top of his thighs. “Maybe not tractors but you bouncing in my lap sure does get me going.” He laughs as Clay pulls off into a grove. Trees surrounding a pond or lake, just a body of water. Wildflowers everywhere, not blooming but he could still smell them. Clay turns the tractor off and stands up doing his best to turn around to face Thomas and not trip on the petals.

“Want to do something about it? We are in a place that Leo and I call ‘Secret’ so we might as well.” Clay straddles Thomas, his arms resting on his shoulders as their faces are just inches apart, only the light of the moon is making them visible to each other. Thomas wastes no time gripping Clay ass and pulling him in for a ferocious kiss. They made out for a while, Thomas smirking into the kiss every once in a while from when he grabs Clay’s ass making him gasp a bit. Normally Clay was very pliant when kissing, very submissive and soft, today he was fighting Thomas for dominance over the kiss and it was incredible.

Thomas felt Clay’s hand slowly fall from his shoulder down to his waistband, unbuttoning his pants with one hand and unzipping them. Thomas rarely ever wore jeans but he felt it was appropriate for meeting parents. Clay ran his finger up and down the bit of Thomas’ underwear that was just behind where the zipper was, teasing him. Feeling his breath hitch Clay smirks, pulling away from the kiss.

“You gonna fuck me or do I have to do it myself?” Clay barley finished the sentence before Thomas somehow maneuvered him so he was on his knees on the tractor seat, resting his chest over the backrest making an ‘oof’ when his diaphragm hit the rest. “Hand me my phone.”

“Think you are gonna get bored?” Thomas raises a questioning eyebrow but hands Clay his phone from the cup holder.

“No… just thought Noelle would Like a video of us.” He smiles looking back at Thomas with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Thomas is stunned for a moment, suddenly whipping out his own phone and pulling up snapchat.

“You’re so smart.” Clay’s smile goes from mischievous to soft in a second, just before Thomas yanks down his pants. “Wait… We don’t have any lube.”

“Check my front pocket, I’ve been carrying it around all day.” Clay is poking around on his phone looking rather uninterested but below the surface he was the most excited he has been in a long time, his dream was to have someone love him, fuck him, and want him in Secret. It’s finally happening.

Thomas reaches into Clay's front pocket, placing a couple small kisses on his back as he does, pulling out a packet of lube he is a bit worried. “Is this gonna be enough to prep you and fuck you?” Clay doesn't answer, just whistling as he kicks his feet a bit, then Thomas sees it, a glint in the moonlight. He looks down and notices… Clay was wearing a plug. He loudly groaned and pressed his forehead to Clay's back. “You’re gonna kill me!” Clay laughs a bit.

“I actually would rather keep you alive for now.”

“For now!?” Clay laughs again.

“As long as I’m alive at least.” Thomas smiles and shakes his head, slowly pulling the plug from Clay. He watches the screen of his lover's phone how his face looks tense but relaxed at the same time. Thomas pulls his own pants down his thighs and tears open the packet of lube with his teeth and pours it onto his cock. Clay zooms in on him.

After spreading the lube on himself he wipes the extra off on Clay’s shirt who is about to protest but gasps as Thomas pushes into him in one smooth glide, not moving just waiting for Clay to adjust. Holding his shirt between his teeth Thomas opens his phone and starts recording with the flash as he starts moving in and out of Clay, slow but deep. Clay’s own recording is on his front facing camera on his face with flash, he actually forgets he is holding his phone for a moment and closes his eyes just enjoying the jolts of pleasure through his body. His phone dips a bit so it isn’t on his face anymore and Thomas stops moving altogether.

“Phone Clayton.” Clay swallows because Thomas never calls him by his full name unless he is in trouble, he fixes the angle without complaining and is rewarded with the deepest thrust yet. Moaning loudly he pushes back onto Thomas a bit and feels him start to speed up. Punching sounds out of him as his diaphragm hits the seat and Thomas’ cock knocks the wind out of him. He is making sure to put on a show as he starts sending the videos to the groupchat of him, Thomas and Noelle.

Thomas’ video also start sending, he is making sure the angle in the video is right to see him fucking clay, sometimes pulling out slow and fucking in fast. Sometimes pulling out fast and pushing in slow. He was taking Clay apart in ways he didn’t know possible.

Clay was getting close, after his third video to Noelle he starts getting shaky, he eyes are rolling back and his mouth is constantly slack. He is used to Thomas tossing out degrading shit when they fuck, and he loves it, but tonight Thomas was completely silent and it made Clay realize just how loud he is. Thomas drives a good three more hard thrusts right into Clay's prostate and then on the fourth he says pressing on it and grinds into it causing tears to fall from Clay’s eyes for the second time today. It sends Clay over the edge, cumming harder than he has in a while and that says a lot because he usually cums hard when he is with his partners.

Clay clenches around Thomas as he starts cumming and it sends him over the edge as well, sending the last video he leans forward and grips Clay's hips tightly as his body tenses. Once he is finished he slowly pulls out, neither of them being a fan of over stimulation, they both wince a bit.

“We don’t have anything to clean up with.” Thomas is thinking about using his shirt but that might be obvious to the parents.

“You could.. Put the plug back in, then use the dirty rag in the bottom of the cup holder for the seat.” Clay isn’t looking at Thomas, he probably thinks it's weird that Clay wants the plug back in. “Just… Just til we get back home.” Clay's face is burning with how embarrassed he is. Thomas thinks for a moment feeling his own face heat up, Clay wants everything he just put in him to stay in him… it was extremely hot but he didn’t know if that's how Clay saw it, taking the plug from his hand that was holding his phone, he help it between his ring and middle finger to make sure they didn’t lose it. He gulps down all his excitement that is threatening to make him hard again and watches closely as he uses his free hand to pull Clay open again. He slowly inserts the plug back into his boyfriend and lets out a shaky breath. How is he supposed to talk to Judy if he knows Clay is walking around with his baby juice still in him.

Oh god.

Clay slowly sits up and rolls his shoulders out, they are a bit stiff. Thomas wraps his arms around Clay's middle after they both pull up their pants and wipe off the seat, Clay’s head falls back on his shoulder, smiling sleepily.

“Hey,” Thomas pokes Clay’s cheek with his nose in a way of telling him he wants a kiss, turning his head Clay gives him a sweet chaste kiss smiling when they rub their noses for a moment. “I love you.” Clay turns around in the seat clumsily, just about falling off but thankful Thomas catches him by his belt loops and pulls him back onto the seat both laughing wildly. Smashing their lips together they are still laughing playfully biting each other's lips and noses.

“I love you too.”

Noelle woke up from her nap in one of her bigger fluffier bean bag chairs, it held her and probably would hold Thomas as well. Her phone was going nuts, sixteen snapchat notifications from Clay and Thomas. She sighs happily, still having an hour until dinner she was excited to talk to her boys, opening her app she clicks on that little purple square and it's a video of Clay's face, but then it zooms in on Thomas… lubing himself up. Sitting up a bit too fast and making herself dizzy, thanks anemia, she starts watching closer. Watching all the videos in full she is incredibly hot and uncomfortable, she curses as she tries to take a screenshot of Clay’s face and accidently closes her phone.

She watches closely at all of the videos, Thomas’ of his cock fucking Clay and Clay’s reaction to this on his own videos. She scrambles to her bag to pull out the gift Clay had gotten her from a fucking tiktok video. It was a rose toy, the first time she used it she came in a minute and a half, crying from how good it was at the same time. She decided to take a video of herself getting off to them… they would appreciate that.

Stripping out of everything except for the hoodie Thomas gave her over a year ago she gets to work. Setting the phone up on the fancy footboard of her bed she gets a bit camera shy, sitting there for a moment thinking about how bad she wishes she was with them. She also was nervous to use the rose on her own because it was really powerful and she didn’t know if she could actually keep it on herself long enough to actually finish.

Then she starts thinking about how Clay and Thomas will react to the video, definitely would get them going again and she would love to hear or maybe even see what they did. She is starting to think she is a bit of a voyeur… She take a deep breath and starts the video, She awkwardly waves at the camera, noticing how her hair is poking out of her hood over her head and she laughs, taking a deep breath she holds down the button on the rose for three seconds and she feels it turn on, buzzing in her hand. She spreads her legs and places the rose onto herself, instantly she knocks her head back on her headboard. Putting her free hand over her mouth to keep her from making noise she scrunches her brows and squeezes her eyes shut. Pressing harder she feels her legs start to shake and her abs clenching. Her toes start to curl and her eyes roll back as she already starts to fall off the edge, already being so turned on and the power of the rose being too much she cums taking the rose off her and curling forward as she shakes, shivering violently. She is breathing hard and feels around for her phone. Stopping the video she sends it to them with a little heart emoji. She looks at the time and smiles as she still has twenty minutes till dinner, she cleans up and gets dressed in something a bit nicer. Her face is still red and glowy but she doesn’t mind. She gets a notification and it's from Thomas in the chat, three drooling emojis and

‘I love you’.

Later on in the night after Judy and Garland have gone to bed and Thomas was on his phone just scrolling on tiktok, Clay got him addicted, the man himself walks into the room with arms full of snacks, placing them on the table in his room. His room was the size of the living room in the apartment, it had two red walls and two white. It seems like Clay has never been one for monogamy in any sense of the word. It had a large king size bed, on a fancy mahogany bed frame with fancy sheets and bedspread that don’t match in the slightest. A walk in closet that was full of clothes and trophies along with a gaming system and boxes with names on them full of little trinkets that Clay has found. Leo and Eloise's boxes are the only boxes left in there because Thomas, Noelle and Reg have all taken their boxes with them. Judy and Garland have a room full of things Clay has collected for them over his whole life.

“Did you get cleaned out? I want to make sure we pack the plug for home, I think we could have some good fun with that.” Thomas moves to the edge of the bed to sit with his feet touching the ground, about to get up to get some pretzel sticks. Clay had gone quiet, he was just chatting about how he was upset that his favorite heifer was sold and his parents forgot to tell him.

“Ummm… yeah.” Thomas senses something is off and motions for Clay to come over to him with his finger, Clay shuffles over to him between his legs, Thomas rests his hands on Clay hips and looks up at him. Clay is looking anywhere but him.

“Clay, what's wrong?” Clay sighs and looks down, Thomas ducks his head a bit to look Clay in the eyes, he looks worried. This made Thomas worry as well.

“I just- it's embarrassing.”

“What's embarrassing?” Clay starts to fidget, pressing the tips of his fingers in between his other fingers. Thomas takes his hands and gives them a squeeze.

“I still have the plug in… because I want you in me. Always.” Clay feels his cheeks heat up and he is waiting for Thomas to get grossed out but instead Thomas smiles at him.

“I don’t think that’s embarrassing, I think that's actually pretty hot.” Clay looks deep into Thomas eyes before moving onto the rest of his face just to see if he is lying, he realizes he is being truthful and tackles him back onto the bed. They eventually stop rolling with Clay on top of Thomas, they are both only in their boxers so there wasn’t much between them. Clay grinds down on Thomas as he feels him getting hard. Thomas goes to put his hands on Clay's hips but is stopped short, Clay pins his hands above his head smirking down at him.

“I’m in charge tonight, keep your hands here. I’m gonna undress us.” Clay shimmies down the shocked Thomas’ body, yanking his boxers off and tossing them over his shoulder, doing the same with his own. He lays down and slowly takes the plug out of himself after scurrying over to get the lube causing Thomas to laugh.

“You’re so cute.” Thomas lays there buzzing with excitement, He jumps a bit when the cold lube hits his way to hard cock and makes a sound of offense when Clay snickers at him. Swinging his leg over Thomas and not even pausing as he sinks down on him. Humming happily. Thomas can’t help it when he goes to move his hands again but Clay pins them back to the bed.

“You should learn to- listen” Clay is moving his hips not even stopping to take a breath. Thomas was groaning under him. Clay has not ridden him yet and it is so different, Thomas was definitely not in control and Clay was so hot being so bossy. Noelle is teaching him things. He was the one gasping and begging for more and Clay was the one giving yet receiving at the same time. He was in his own state, yeah Thomas could put him into a submissive mood with just a simple gesture but he was enjoying this. Clay eventually lets go of his hands but Thomas keeps them there as he watches Clay just focus on fucking himself. His arms stretched over his head, one coming down to glide down his chest and to tug his own neglected cock every once in a while but he was dragging this out because he was in control.

Eventually Clay takes one of Thomas' hands and moves it to his dick, Thomas starts to jerk him off causing his rhythm to stutter. He was moaning and his head was falling back, Thomas started meeting his thrusts and he groaned. He was getting close, he was about to tell Thomas this when he suddenly felt a heat filling him up, his eyes snapped open and he saw Thomas’ mouth open and his head tipped back.

He just came… before Clay did! That never happens!

The feeling of Thomas cumming in him, and the thought that Clay made him come first for the first time ever. He spurts onto Thomas’ stomach, flopping forward and putting all his weight onto Thomas.

“We” Clay was still catching his breath as Thomas kissed all over his face, sweaty and breathing hard he smiled. “We can clean up, but I want you in me when we fall asleep.” Thomas’ heart soared at the thought, this new kink of Clay’s was quite nice, not gonna lie. They clean up and snuggle into bed in a spoon position, Thomas hard and in Clay as he falls asleep, driving him mad!

After Thomas is positive Clay is asleep and he has gone soft he pulls out and rolls over so his back to Clay and calls Noelle. A couple of rings and she answers sounding groggy.

“Noelle! So much just happened! Clay has a fucking warming kink! A WARMING KINK!” He whispers yells as she snorts at him but tells him to go on. “He just pinned me to the bed after having a plug in after we fucked on the tractor! He fucked himself on me! I Came BEFORE him!”

“And I missed all this just to see my dad kick Leo out of the house! That’s dumb! You guys better do it again when I’m home because I was to see that! Anyways I need to rest because tomorrow will be long and boring and tense. Goodnight I love you.”

“Good luck and Goodnight Sugar Tits.” Noelle laughs at him.

“I love you too.”

[cuquitalocita]

all you do is pine- percabeth

AN: i didn’t really like the ending to this one but i wrote something finally! also i just love modern percabeth can’t you tell? 

~~

“Uh… five?” Annabeth throws her pencil down in frustration, the sound echoing around the almost silent library. Across from her, Rachel bites her lip to keep from laughing and the look Annabeth sends her has the girl pulling Annabeth’s paper to her side of the table. 

“Ah, I see what you did. That’s a six A, not a nine.” Annabeth glares at the red ink now covering her paper and curses her dyslexia for making college so much more difficult than it should be. Annabeth had handled high school just fine, moving across the country a few times, but other than that, no issues. But freshman year of college was kicking her ass. 

“How am I supposed to pass this class if I can’t even read the problem correctly, to begin with?” Annabeth complains. The heads of her friends at the tables around her turned to her, offering sympathetic glances saying they understood how awful their dyslexia could be. 

“Maybe you can just light Professor Brunner’s classroom on fire,” Leo supplies from where he sits next to Calypso doing physics homework. His girlfriend slaps the back of his head.

“That’s arson, Leo,” she reminds him. 

“So what?”

“So it’s illegal, genius.” The voice of her best friend has Annabeth sitting straighter and Percy drops into the seat next to her, looking perfect as ever with his messy black hair and green eyes. “Last I checked you can’t vandalize a classroom.”

“How would you know Jackson?” Annabeth pipes up. “If I remember correctly, senior year of high school you vandalized Mrs. Dodd’s room.” Percy grinned at her, the memory flashing through his eyes, and the two burst into laughter. 

If there was anything that made college easier, it was having her best friend next to her to suffer through it all with her. She and Percy had grown up together, living in the same neighborhood since middle school and being best friends ever since. Annabeth couldn’t be more grateful that they both managed to get into the same college.

She just wishes she wasn’t in love with him.

Never in a million years could Annabeth have predicted she would fall for her annoying, clueless neighbor. Yet here she was- hopeless. 

Annabeth turns, sticking her nose back into her math textbook to keep him from seeing the red that now dots her cheeks. She catches Piper’s eye from the table next to her and the girl raises a brow. Annabeth shoots her a warning look and Piper sighs audibly.

“Well I don’t know about you guys, but I’m over this. I’ve gotta meet Jace for date night- so see you around losers.” Piper leaves Annabeth with a knowing pinch of her shoulder and she grips her pencil tighter.

“We’re out too,” Leo and Calypso say grabbing their bags and standing up. “Date night waits for no one.” The library quiets down until it’s just Rachel, Percy, and Annabeth. Annabeth glances up to see Rachel and Percy looking at each other, a meaningful look in both of their eyes as if silently speaking to each other, just like she and Percy often did themselves. 

Annabeth bites down on her jealousy. 

“Oh gods,” Rachel mutters. “I’m late to tutor Octavian.” All three of them visibly grimace at the mention of the blonde idiot and Rachel scurries out of the library.

“Well,” Percy sighs. “Looks like it’s just us again Wise Girl.”

“What’s changed?” She smiles down at her paper. At that moment a text appears on her phone from Hazel.

>> Hey, can’t make movie night tonight, Frank just surprised me with dinner and a movie!!

>> Aw, that’s so sweet :) No issues, next time for sure

Annabeth groans and places her phone down. Percy shoots her a questioning look from behind his laptop screen. 

“There go my plans for tonight. Hazel’s out.” Annabeth glances at the clock, figuring it was time to return to the apartment she shared with Piper to finish up some homework. 

“Hey, why don’t we do something?” Percy’s voice is awkward when he asks and Annabeth can’t help but think how he sounds just like he did when he was twelve. She turned to him, her curls bouncing in her ponytail behind her. “We haven’t had a movie night since this semester started. Everyone’s out on date’s so let’s have a friend’s date. We can even order takeout.” Percy levels her with a kind smile and Annabeth tried not to melt on the spot. 

“I’d love to Percy, I really would. But this project is kicking my ass and-”

“Come on, Annabeth,” he whined. “Pleeeeeeeeease? I’ll even fight the spiders in your apartment for you.” Annabeth’s resolve had cracked at please but she smiled anyway. 

She rolls her eyes affectionately, hoping this wasn’t a mistake.

“Come over at six, Seaweed Brain. And don’t even think about coming without food.”

~~

Percy shows up late, unsurprisingly, and Annabeth is in front of the TV with a physics textbook in her lap when he walks in sporting the key to her apartment she had given him months ago. 

Annabeth opens her mouth with a quick insult but Percy cuts her off.

“Before you say anything about me being late- I brought you pretzels.” A box of chocolate-covered pretzels falls into her lap a moment later and Percy collapses onto the couch next to her soon after. Annabeth tries her hardest not to lean into him or inhale his scent. It’s easy to think that seawater would smell disgusting. Like seaweed and dead fish. But Percy’s always made it smell good.

“So what are we watching?” Percy asks as Annabeth flips her page. Before she can grab her pencil again, Percy’s hand is over hers, ripping it away and chucking it across the room. Annabeth gapes at him.

“What the hell, Percy? I was using that.” Percy shrugs, opening a bag of popcorn he brought and shoving some in his mouth. 

“Not anymore you’re not. Movie night, Wise Girl. Remember?” Annabeth arches a brow and a slice of satisfaction courses through her as he turns a slight shade of gray in nervousness.

“You do realize I’m a forensic science major right?” That as well as architecture. “I could kill you and hide the evidence. No one would ever find the body.” Percy grins, visibly relieved that she’s joking, and relaxes his shoulders. He grabs her textbook from her lap and places it on the ground, grabbing her hand that held the pencil and lacing his fingers through hers instead.

Annabeth shoots him a questioning look and pushes down the blush that’s threatening to pour over her cheeks. 

“Gotta make sure you don’t grab that pencil again.” Percy shrugs, putting their hands on his lap as he turns his attention back to the television. At this point, Annabeth is trying her hardest not to combust. So instead she rolls her eyes and puts on Finding Nemo, Percy’s favorite movie. With as much as Annabeth claims to hate it, the way Percy voices each of the characters every time he watches it makes her laugh. 

Percy doesn’t say anything as the movie starts, not even to ask why she’s playing a movie she doesn’t like, and the two friends drift into a comfortable silence. 

Halfway through the movie, Annabeth is itching to get off the couch. Percy has started playing with her fingers instead of just holding them now, and Annabeth doesn’t think she can handle this much longer. So as Percy is voicing Squirt’s voice cuter than even the original actor can, Annabeth stands up, taking her hand away from Percy’s and ignoring his frown, and grabs her phone, pretending someone’s calling. 

“It’s uh… Luke,” she stutters out. Annabeth runs out of the room before she can register the look that flashes over Percy’s face at the mention of the boy from her physics class. The door to her room is slammed shut before she hears Percy’s response and Annabeth hangs her head in her hands. 

“Gods, Annabeth! What’s wrong with you? This is Percy!” 

Yeah, the Percy that you’re in love with. 

So Annabeth pulls herself together. She walks over to her bathroom and splashes a bucketful of freezing water over her face.

“Pull yourself together, Chase.” 

When Annabeth walks back out of the room, Percy is on the phone talking to someone. Annabeth realizes he hasn’t heard her door open and she can’t help but lean against her door frame to watch him for a moment.

He really is handsome, she can’t help but notice. He had gone from a cute kid to a handsome guy, and it was starting to keep her up at night.

“I don’t know Rach,” he was saying, and Annabeth fought down the swell of jealousy in her chest. She liked Rachel- she really did. What she didn’t like was how interested she seemed in Percy. The looks Rachel would shoot her when she was talking to Percy didn’t help either. “I just-”

“Percy, I swear to all the gods. If you don’t make a move soon-”

“I can’t just make a move Rachel. She doesn’t feel the same way and I’ve ruined years of friendship.” Rachel sighs from across the line and Annabeth doesn’t think she’s breathing. When Rachel speaks again, she’s clearly frustrated.

“Percy, Annabeth is hot. You have to have noticed that by now.” She states it as a fact and Annabeth holds back a snort. And then she realizes that the conversation is about her. Percy and Rachel are talking about his feelings for her. Annabeth thinks she’s going to faint. 

“Yes, Rach. I know she’s hot.” The statement sends a blush to her cheeks and Annabeth fights to stay silent as she watches her best friend squirm. 

“Right, and sooner or later, other people are gonna start noticing too. If you don’t say something soon, she’s going to move on, and you’ll really lose your chance.”

“She’s already gone,” he sighs defeated. “I think she’s into that guy Luke from her physics class.” Annabeth wanted to scream. Did he really think she liked Luke? What a Seaweed Brain. 

“God Percy, you really are an idiot, aren’t you? All you do is pine over this girl, and if you haven’t realized she’s pining just as hard for you, I don’t know what to tell you.” 

“Rachel, she’s my best friend. She would never-”

“Like you back?” Annabeth’s voice shocks him so much that he hangs up the phone and drops it on the ground. “Think again, Seaweed Brain.” Annabeth tilts the corner of her mouth into a small smile and comes to sit next to him on the couch. 

“A-Annabeth!” he stutters and Annabeth loves the blush that appears on his cheeks. “You- I- when did you- wait what?”

“You’re not seriously saying you didn’t know I’m in love with you.” Annabeth thinks she might be blushing, but she really doesn’t care anymore. Her best friend likes her back. 

“You’re what? But I’m in love with you.” Her heart stutters in her chest.

Annabeth’s laugh brings a grin to Percy’s face and she can’t help but brush a kiss to his cheek.

“Funny how that works, huh?”

~~

“Person A and Person B are friends and neither of them have a date for Valentine’s Day, so they decide to order takeout and watch a movie together. At some point, hidden feelings are revealed.”

~~

yeah i love them... 

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Pooh Bear

Masterlist

Kal has a crush on his new babysitter and after watching her closely Henry has to now all he has to do is ask her out...Simple right?

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Slight Angst

Request: That’s so great! I was thinking maybe one where introvert chubby reader looks after Kal on set, when Henry’s filming. She and Kal become great friends, are always together, they cuddle, play, and nap together, etc. Henry might’ve secretly snapped a few pics of them. He’s happy that there’s someone else taking good care of his bestie.  Kal loves Henry but misses the reader when they’re back home. When they return to set, he expects her to be there for Kal but turns out she’s not working out there anymore. They thought her to be redundant and too much of a loner. This affects her because she always feels more happy around animals as she always wanted a dog but never really could afford it. Sorry for the stupidly long request…              

A/N: okay I did switch things up a little but i hope you still like it! And just so people know in england (or at least the south) 'A Salt' is another ways of saying someone is fit...basically saying he is a tasty looking man that you'd lick. And a 'nonce' is another term for idiot. Taglist: @being-worthy​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​ @angelofthorrr @iloveyouyen​ @sofiebstar​ @thefangirlsblog​ @thatdamncutegirl

You smiled as your charge ran around happily with the kong toy pouncing and shaking his head the rubber dome slipped from his mouth and bounced unpredictably across the floor. It was a kong original that was a rubber 'bee hive' shape hollow and stuffed  full of one of those ham and cheese sandwich paste. He seemed to love it as he darted around happily pinning it every now and then trying to fish out the treat. You loved this job! It was incredible you literally got paid to snuggle walk play and snuggle with the sweetest dog you have ever met in your life...His owner wasn't to bad either...well now at least. You sighed crossing your ankles and fanned yourself at the thought of the bears dad...A bear of a man himself, or wolf should you say. Was stunning he was a salt... Definitely a salt. You watched again as Kal frantically chased the kong as it rolled out of his paws. You were the proud baby sitter of Kal Cavill probably the sweetest Akita anyone would ever find. Currently on set watching the pup bounce about trying to paw at the pesky kong flipping and rolling away threw the scatty motions. "Wow Kal-ee-bear that's some shit paw eye coordination baby boy..." you giggled as he snorted still patting at the rubber and moved laying down against your legs stuffing his snout at the wide opening still trying to devour the snack of cheese spread. you tried giving him snack enrichment each day to calm him down before delivering him back to his dad. "Oh I'm sooo sorry your majesty~" you jumped as Henry came up behind you. "And what has his royal highness up to today I wonder?" He crossed his arms across his chest. you flushed flinching and clamming up at him as he stood to the side of you both with a grin. You waved to Kal who was gruffing at the kong growing more irritated when he had to work for his treat. "He er.. Is huffy over the kong....He couldn’t catch it and now he has, he has to work for his cheese" Henry laughed out loud at that plopping down beside you. You flushed, you admit at first things had been rocky between you and Henry. But now he seemed to hover a lot more he wont just come and whisk Kal away at the end of his scenes he'd stay and try to chat...He for some reason wanted to get to know you. You'd been confused unsure what to make of the hunk trying to get to know you. You’d been frightened and withdrawn but he didn’t give up he spent a lot of time just sitting with you talking about his day. He didn't seem to mind you were quiet in fact he seemed to like having someone to listen to him. You sighed wistfully realizing you'd let your shyness let this chance pass you by. You'd had so many chances to talk to him properly to admit your feelings to him but you hadn't your shy personality pulled you back. Today was your final day here sitting with Kal and you were devastated you'd come to have feelings for the big bear...and his owner more then you should have...More than you cared to admit. It was silly but you'd harbored a crush on the man and for a few months and had been debating on how to show but it was hard for someone like you...To introverted for your own good...Not that you'd ever be able to open up much to people. Animals on the other hand were completely different ,you preferred animals to people and you think Henry could tell but he was stubborn ,but then he had been stubborn since day one.

When you'd first met he was worried you didn't have the strength to look after or control such a big dog...Kal was small for an Akita but he was by no means weak, he has had Henry over a few times in the past which is not to be laughed at. You remembered it well the first time he saw you he'd be the first to admit he was a bit of an ass...Well he was a complete asshole to be honest. Your mind wandered to your first ever conversation with the man.

"So did you realize he's an Akita? He needs a lot of exercise and attention...I need someone who can keep up with him and handle him when in a boisterous mood...not someone he can run rings around and overpower" you squinted at him and grunted he seemed put out and very full of himself; something he’d later regret. You'd took a deep breath and smiled trying your best not to snap or cower...His scowl was intimidating. "Yes I do...Look if I can help calm down a scared shire and pull it to a halt, and hold still a bull by its horns for tagging I think I can handle a little Akita" he had grunted at you in disbelief crossing his arms and scoffed at you. "Oh really? You did all that?" You growled at him getting a bee in your bonnet his attitude was getting right up your nose now you didn't want to anger him but at the same time you needed this job it'd pay for your van and get you up and running. "I was training to be a country vet so yes I did all that anything else Mr Cavill? A resume? Certificates I have them with me..I even know canine cpr and how to remove ticks if you wanted to Know that to" he huffed and turned to the others present.

"Fine she will do but one incident and she's not watching him that’s final I don't let just anyone look after him" you smiled confidently but inside you were bricking it hoping you didn't come across as a nasty person you wasn't...You were just in a tricky spot and you needed money...You loved dogs they were going to be your new career so this was a perfect fit for you...No customers or people just you babysitting a big ass fluffy bear. That had been the only time you'd really clapped back at him and you were proud it was rare for you to stand up for yourself.

He'd gotten copies of all your documents you'd shown to prove you were capable...when he said he wouldn't trust just anyone with his four legged son, he meant it and you understood. You'd be the same with you own puppy, as much as you wanted one of your own finances were tight and once your business was open you wouldn't have much time spare for a pup of your own. Some of the others had rolled their eyes when they saw Henry hovering like a mother hen over you and Kal for the first week. They had complained to one another expressing that Kal was just a dog he would be fine. They just didn't understand. But as it turns out you had somehow passed his requirements and he had backed off trusting you to look after his son. You gathered that he checked you out fully and realized you had done all that you said, pulled out of veterinary school deciding the larger animals wasn't for you and were now focusing on grooming. And he had but that wasn't the whole reason he had been spying on you and Kal even when you didn't realize it.

It had started when he came to apologize. You'd never know but he felt like a dick and had come to apologize for his attitude but instead found himself floored watching from a short distance you were cuddling Kal smoothing his fur raking your fingers through it giggling and kissing him every so often pulling clumps of shedding fur out of him. "Oh my! baby boy look at all this? you'll be a stone lighter once all this is out talk about a crash diet....Wish I could drop a few dress sizes just by brushing my hair" that comment had hit Henry's chest with a dull cold thud. You were beautiful why would you say that about yourself? sure you were thicker...but thicker was better in his opinion he loved curves the idea of luscious soft curves filling his palms mad him swoon! He watched as you giggled wrestling Kal to his other side before repeating. He was surprised at how much he liked watching you play with him it was nice seeing Kal so relaxed and coddled. Henry sometimes felt guilty bringing Kal on set he couldn't give him much attention when he was working so that was where dog sitters come in someone o watch him and keep Kal occupied when Henry was working. "You'll feel so much better after this...I will bring my brushes out tomorrow and give you a good tidy up! you must be so hot love..." Henry laughed as the calm didn't last long at the word brush Kal got up excitedly pouncing and licking your face. You giggled loudly as he pushed you back standing over you yipping but you didn't throw him off instead wrapping your arms around him and rolled taking the Akita clean of his feet pinning the large dog to the floor and attacking him with tummy scratches and raspberries. Henry's heart melted it was nice to see someone playing with him properly no holds bar! rough housing with an Akita was no mean feet but you managed. It was then he leaned back watching you a small smile on his lips you took your job seriously and Henry was seeing a different side to you. He had definitely misjudged you he felt even more of an asshole now.

The final hurdle you jumped was when he saw Kal mouthing at your forearm playfully keeping the arm snug between his jaws and pulling trying to tug you back down as you tried to get up. Henry panicked heart stopping for a second as you hissed a little, people can perceive mouthing as biting. Before Henry could even think he moved a few steps forward readying to charge down and explain the behavior and pray you didn't take the incident further. But before he could take another step you had taken care of it and you didn't freak out like others would have in the jaws of a large dog. You simply calmed the situation down nicely and carefully with ear rubs making Kal release you and tilt his head trying to make you rub harder onto the ear. "You got such a big mouth Kal my love! mouthing like that huh? Just one overgrown puppy~" you finished by laughing and settling down onto the ground with him.Then pulled Kal to face you kissing his snout making him go all soppy again. Henry watched dumbstruck as you peeled back his lip and shook your head. "Lets had a look at your nashers...Oh? Whats this Pooh bear? look at those teeth! And they call your daddy a wolf huh? And your not brushing them are you my little fluff ball? hmm? well we will start that tomorrow~ oh yesh we will!...You like the sound of that huh? brush these pearly whites and make your breath smell all fresh! all it'll cost you is more kisses!! yesh it will baby boy! good bear such a good pooh bear!" Henry smoothed back the wig he was wearing heaving a deep sigh relaxing with a chuckle. Yeah that hadn't put you off at all now his dog had a fucking dentist to. Henry took a moment to calm down as he realized you'd known what you were doing. The fear for all dog owners was someone saying they were bit! but in that moment he was reassured you knew a lot more about dogs then your papers said ,you handled it very well. Kal had a habit of mouthing he always had since a puppy, sometimes he even falls asleep with one of Henry's hands in his mouth just holding it sometimes suckling like a tiny pup again...It was rare now but it happened almost using his hand or fingers like a like a toddler with a soother. But when he was excited he would mouth a little harder it was pack behavior but to anyone who didn't know they called it a bite. Kal seemed to like you and you handled him beautifully.

After that Henry had meant to back off but...He couldn't seeing how you'd got Kal wrapped around your little finger had intrigued him...He was a strong believer in dogs having that sixth sense for people they could sniff out the bad ones. Kal had fallen head over paws for you and each morning got in a little tizzy waiting for you to come pick him up prancing at the door as you got closer. Henry loved how much pride you took in looking after kal and how far you went you'd all but adopted the bear. Fuck you were only supposed to walk him and play with him a few hours a day but you groomed him, brushed his fur and teeth daily even clipped his claws and filed them you pampered the dog with massages after his runs new toys and enrichment treats then had long ass naps wrapped around him. You were a nanny, packmate, cook, dentist stylist, nail technician massuse and all round mother to Kal and the bear loved it lapping up the attention and what Henry believed to be genuine love. 

He still watched but now for a different reason he wasn't worried about kal...He watched you, it had only taken him three weeks to become completely besotted with you he wanted to spend as much time with you as he could. He loved everything about you, the way your laugh made kal go crazy and lather you with kisses how you'd roll around with him no qualms about getting dusty and smothered with fur and the way you played and snuggled kal like he was your own pup kissing him and giving him the love he needed. If he was honest he adored the way you'd gone about it. Most dog sitters just sat on their phones with kal on the lead beside them and walked him when once a day. You mothered him and spoiled him rotten. And Henry loved and loathed it...Why were you so comfortable with kal and not him? Sire hed been an ass at the start but you were all past that now...Henry wanted some of you attention now but you withdrew when he was there. It was maddening.

It was a week after he had seen you deal with Kals mouthing that you'd approached him he almost expected the worse thinking you were going to quit saying kal was to much but instead you'd asked if kal was allergic to anything. Henry to be honest was stumped, he'd never though of kal having allergies. He was concerned and began running all the worst scenarios in his head of what you'd noticed or what had happened. But you had shyly calmed him down saying you wanted to get Kal some treats and chews but didn't want to cause any medical issues. Henry can honestly say his heart had swelled at that. Henry in that moment had developed a full blown crush on you. He was floored that you'd take his bears welfare so seriously that you'd asked permission to give him treats. He had stuttered out that you could give him what ever that he didn't have any allergies and you'd grinned wide then began gushing over these strange yak milk chews you wanted to get him and a deer antler? Henry just smiled laughing as you forgot who and where you was getting yourself excited.

"Oh my god this is gonna be fun! I've never been able to get this stuff I don't have a dog but now with kal I can spoil him rotten thank you Henry!" And with that said nearly every day his boy came home with a new toy or treat. Henry found it cute especially when you'd given him a little yellow squeaky teddy, Henry didn't think it would last two mineuts normally kal ripped soft teddies to shreds but this one...For some reason wasn't chewed ever not even the eyes ,sure Kal would bite it on the squeaker normally early in the mornings to wake Henry up but it was a teddy he just carried around with him and slept on. He couldn't sleep with out it tucked under his chin!

As time went on you found yourself having small awkward conversations with Henry he seemed to just want you to open up, to talk to him and get along. You wanted to but it was hard for you he was this huge hot alpha witcher male and you were a small dumpy thing. You didn't want to get attached to him, didn't want your crush to get out of hand when you knew there was no chance...He'd never go for someone like you slowly your thought began getting darker and more upsetting luckily they disappeared when kal nudged you almost knocking you over as you retied your laces he was waiting for you to hurry up it was time for his daily walk/run. You soon found yourself jog running along the trail with kal as he created wanting to go faster you panted and grunted at him waving your arms around as he pulled nearly having you off your feet. "Kal! I can't go faster!!! I'm fat haven't you noticed?! fucking lard asses can't got faster we have like three gears!" he barked at you as if to argue you scoffed. "Yes I know your daddy goes faster but I cant!" again he barked and yipped at you eager to go sprinting "No! absolutely not! I'm not letting you off again...Remember the squirrel? You promised to come back young man! and you lied I nearly had a fucking heart attack!" he yipped again tapping the floor prancing a typical kal tantrum brewing. "Nu uh! you did this if you'd behaved and not ran off like a race horse then you'd be let off and be frolicking in the woods like a pooh bear! But no you were a nonce!" he stamped again and moved capturing the lead in his mouth and pulled starting a game of tug making you swear and quickly hold it with two hands and lean back as he started bouncing back growling playfully. "Kal you little shit stop! no no don't-KAL?!" you growled and dug your heels in pulling back as he growled now wagging his tail at the new game of tug. "Kal Cavill you stop being a little brat this instant! I mean it or no peanut butter!...Yes that got you attention didn't it?....Good boy, right now thanks to you little paddy we are going back now see? You play up and we go home....Just you wait until I tell your daddy how spoiled your acting." he whined and flopped down you dropped your jaw at him scratching your head. "Wait what? kal no stop it-really? your really are a sulky little shit sometimes pooh bear....Kal come on up" you moved pulling the lead but he didn't budge you cried out in frustration. Kal just smiled panting at you making you laugh despite your annoyance. "How can I not move you?! putting my weight in it you should at least budge! I how're you doing this?...." you moved and sat beside him and curled over him trying to pick him up but nope he was not going anywhere. you sighed and sat next to him out of breath. "Kal come on mate! cut me some slack...I'm not fit like your daddy and if you wont listen to your recall then I can't let you off..." you moved a hand digging your fingers int the fur massaging him then leaned down kissing his snout he moved sitting up seeing you were upset. "You know I wish I was...Fitter then maybe he'd look at me or-or I'd have the confidence to talk to him back but..Yeah men like him don't like us plus sizes...Oh don't look at me like that kal there's no hiding the fact I'm a fucking chunk!...No matter how much I like him it'd never happen..." you stood up and kal followed licking at your fingers by your side you smiled patting his head. "Lets get back...And I lied you can have your peanut butter I'm sorry I said you couldn't it was mean...But only if you keep that little crush thing quiet okay? Good boy!, you keep that secret for me bubby" he jumped up happily you had no doubt this dog understood every single word you said to him.

Henry had made it his mission to get one date by the end of filming...If only he wasn't this shy every time he tried you'd flush blinking up at him and he'd freeze forgetting his previous thoughts and just star mind going blank. And like a coward he'd stutter out a thank you for seeing to kal and run off tail between his legs. One time; the seventh time...But he wasn't counting, he came over psyching himself up. 'Just one date just say hey your good with kal and I think your really cute and want to take you out...Or just a basic lets have dinner' he nodded to himself and smiled fisting his hands by his side and took a few deep breaths steeling himself as he made his way to a small shaded area just off set and frowned...What was? was Kal laying on you?....He was! Henry snuck up behind you hearing the bear snort in his sleep and slowly stretch out one front leg across you before sighing loudly and relaxing again. You were laying flat on your back in the grass. from what Henry could tell Kal at one point had been next to you but had rolled over in his sleep tummy flat against your side head laying heavy on your soft tummy one paw stretched out over your waist, his back legs straddling your hip from the side.  Your hand was tucked in his mouth you were both sound asleep. Kal was hugging you and Henry couldn't help feeling a little jealous he wanted to do that...He wanted to hug you...He was being out done by his own dog...Henry smiled and took in the sight. He wanted to see this more often he really needed to ask you out ...He needed to get his ass in gear time was ticking. He moved quickly looking left and right before subtly snapping a few shots you'd be none the wiser to him having a new background on his phone. He quickly tucked his phone away and sat beside you leaning back on his hands and just admired the sight drawing his eyes over your form and flushed a bright red noting your top had rose resting just below your bust... kal had somehow nudged it up, Henry had to chuckle at the thought his pup was really putting the moves on you. If only Henry could be that brave. You moved groaning blinking you were hot...So hot what the fuck? had you fell asleep? Shit. You frowned feeling a weight on your tummy you flexed your fingers they were? What the fuck why are they warm....And wet your stomach was damp to....Eww!? What the hell- your being fucking finger sucked!?! confused you gasped and jolted tipping your head up. Fully alert and blinked a few times looking around then focused looking down and giggled. Kal was dead asleep passed out on your tummy somehow he had sucked your hand into his mouth and was trying to suckle on it like a tiny puppy. You smiled and sighed relieved that it was just a silly pooh bear and not some scary ass fuck tard moving your other hand up to stroke the sleeping pups head giggling when he twitched and snorted like a piggy and kicked a back leg out. "Oh my god that's so cute~" you jumped hearing a deep chuckle beside you and saw Henry sitting watching. Instantly you froze unsure what to do or say flushing and gulping trying to remain calm, sensing your discomfort he smiled kindly then nodded to kal. "Done it since he was a pup...Like a proper baby only ever done it with me before though think you may have become his new favorite human~" you flushed lightly and tried wriggling out from under Kal but stopped when he groaned and clamped down on the fingers in his mouth. You chuckled you were not moving anytime soon bot with out upsetting the bear, you shrugged to Henry who laughed quietly again shaking his head.

"I'm afraid you are now trapped here with me until the bear decides to let go~" you blinked flushing even more as his gaze bore into you. You looked back wanting to at least sit up a bit Henry was quick to intervene and shuffled closer sitting side on crossed legged and slipped the elevated knee below our head you flushed when he cleared his throat and his cheeks became pink.

"I...Err your-Its my dogs fault and I..." you blinked slowly and lowered your head to rest on the knee your. He smirked at you feeling proud f himself being able to pull this off somehow.

"I-I Henry if I get to heavy just say...Don't want to give you a dead leg or something...." he frowned a dark look his eyes going dark making you quiver slightly your insecurity rearing its ugly head a small voice telling you your crushing him. He placed a hand to your shoulder. "Your not heavy Honestly I don't even feel you there...It'd take around six of you before I'd even feel anything!" You flushed brightly but said nothing, he must just be saying that he was polite...To polite to tell you your fat. After a few minuets of silence and Henry berating himself he cleared his throat and motioned to Kal still snoring away, his voice lowering making your insides quiver. "Stolen my own pup I knew you'd be trouble~" you swallowed and smiled shyly up at him shaking your head at him with an impish grin. "N-no...He just likes me I think....He is a good boy you should be really proud of him the best boy I have ever looked after" Henry nodded thanking you then looked down at Kal still happily snoring. "And you the best babysitter he has had~ hands down I'm really impressed...I was wrong I never did apologize for being such an asshole when we met" You were all about loosing your mind trapped here under kal ,who would throw a fit if you moved him. "No no..I understand he is your special boy and a energetic little man I can understand the concern someone large and unfit showing up" he grunted and frowned moving the hair from your face making you squeak.

"Stop that! Your a beautiful full figured woman there's nothing wrong with that!.... and for the record it wasn't that at all that made me worry...Your small and I was afraid Kal would have you over and break a bone or something...Kal has he me over many times in the past....Either way I was wrong my worry is no excuse to be rude and I'm sorry" You flushed as Henry slowly eyed your form as he spoke, his blues glittering with something you'd never seen directed at you before but it was gone before you could decipher it. He watched unblinkingly at you finally you smiled and nodded to him breathing out a quick thank you, he grinned and moved a hand stroking kal patting his side softly. "But as for this boy goes I think he more then likes you...He has taken a shine to you...Think he has a crush~ not that I blame him as I said your a very lovely woman" you blinked smiling wider and somehow going a brighter red managed to slip your hand out of the bears jaws and wiped it on your tshirt using the moment to tug it back down. "You-you don't mean that I'm...Just ...Yeah" Henry frowned at you not liking the tone you used to speak about yourself. He went to argue further but grunted a little annoyed as Kal choose that moment to stir making you look away. You watched thankful for the bear giggling softly as the dog moved up off you stretching and yawning then blinked at his dad as if you say 'what?' you moved and kissed his head softly "Come on sleeping beauty time to go home I'm sure you can nap with your daddy when you get back" Henry chuckled as Kal huffed getting up and standing beside him. Henry wanted to linger, to ask you out to do something but any courage he had was gone the moment he had you laid in his lap...It was like a kid wanting something for so long and once he had it he didn't know what to do with it. He moved standing and held out his hand to help you up you froze  and gulped smiling nervously, as strong as he might be you'd have him over and it'd embarrass you to much. Last thing you wanted your crush to know is just how fucking heavy you were. But the man didn't give you much choice as he snatched your hand dragging you up and you were amazed he didn't even lean back or grunt nothing! just pulled you straight up off the floor like it was nothing and you swooned. Henry kicked himself for days over not correcting you. You were amazing and kind and funny and he'd do anything to go out on a date with you....Apart from over come his own bashfulness that is. he wanted to show you how pretty you were to him how much he'd grown to care for you just from watching you with kal but he chickened out yet again.

You smiled moving forward to Kal already getting tearful snuggling him tightly saying your good bye running your nose through his fur Henry's heart clenched when he saw you getting upset he just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and hug you tell you how he felt but no...It wasn't fair to spring his crush on you on the last day...He should have told you sooner, swept you off your feet taken you out wined and dined you. But he hadn't and now he had to say good bye without even giving it a try, the only constellation was that he'd ask for you back next season. He watched sorrowfully at your tears Kal licked them away and you kissed his snout. "Now you listen to me pooh bear you behave..you hear me you be a good boy for you daddy and stop chewing them claws! you have a lovely set of claws and your going to ruin them and get stinky breath if you carry on!" you quickly stood up and Henry pulled you in for a quick hug. "I-er...I'm...Th-thank you for being so good with him he hasn't been this taken care off well ever I don't think!" you smiled wiping at your eye going red your heart was crumbling as you took your last few moments with him. You’d failed to keep your feelings at bay and now you were going to pay dearly for it. "No-your to kind....You do a brilliant job...I-it was fun good luck with the press tour" the conversation came to a screeching halt as you both debated telling one another but in the end you didn't each to scared. You’d turned and left tears trailing down your face once out of sight you held your head in your hands and had a good old cry. You felt ridiculous miserable and very very sorry for yourself. But whats done is done...Or not done shall we say you left shortly after needing to be at home there was a litre tub of vanilla ice cream calling your name.

It wasn't until Henry got home he let it sink in he wasn't going to see you anymore. He broke down cursing and kicking out in a very uncharacteristic manner 'you were such a fucking coward! you should have told her'....He should have grown a back bone and asked you out but no...He held himself back yet again! over the next months he had stewed regrets piling, he replayed all the times he could of just asked you out, all the times when he had to admit his feelings the list got longer  each day. He missed you Kal missed you...The teddy you bought him was with him each time he slept no matter where Kal would wander off getting the teddy and used it as a pillow.

He'd sometimes just sit in his bed with it blinking at Henry, Kal wanted to know where you were he wanted to see you again. Sometimes he would bring it up to him and drop it nudging the stuffed bear to Henry with a sad look whining pitifully like 'wheres mama?' that is what Henry had ended up calling you...In a short few months you'd more of less become Kal's mother. You dotted on him and he you....It was Henry who fucked up! and boy did he feel guilty seeing Kal so upset he had even tried hiding the teddy a few times wanting his cheerful bear back but no that had been a big mistake Henry had left the room for a few moments and came back to a hell of a mess Kal ripping the place up looking for the toy almost panic. Henry had to give it back and since then hadn't got within three feet of it Kal guarded it with his life. Henry sighed he was angry at himself if he'd opened his mouth then you'd be here visiting at least! He could of tried could of build something with you but no Henry had been a coward. and he would not be making that same mistake again!  luckily filming was starting again next week so he would see you again! he'd been telling Kal that they were going to see you both again it was nice seeing Kal get all excited he had been depressed.

And that was why is was all the more heartbreaking when he got on set and you wasn't there. Henry was pissed, he had been gearing up getting himself ready to see you again but you wasn't here...Everyone he asked said they hadn't seen you then it finally came out that no one was hired for Kal this time. You were a victim of your own success, Kal had been so good last time that it was decided the money could be spent elsewhere. It broke his heart he wanted so desperately to see you to finally ask you out for Kal to cheer up they were both love struck and both heart broken and depressed. After a week Henry had finally stopped pushing to find you resigning himself to the fact he wasn't going to get his second chance and he just hopped Kal would snap out of it...He doubted it though Akitas were revered for their loyalty and intelligence Henry wouldn't forget so the likelihood of Kal forgetting was slim. he sat at the table sighing he was down everyone could tell neither Henry or Kal had the spring in their step they once had.

Everyone knew the change in the two was because you hadn't been there Joey, Anya and Freya were at a loss unsure how to make him feel better that is until Freya asked around the local village. She remembered Henry mentioning that you were saving up to be a dog groomer and she said something in passing about an Akita in need of a good brush in the local shop and bingo! The shop owner smiled and gushed over the new mobile groomers, a local lady who had just set up shop. The woman had rushed to the counter getting a business card and little leaflet. Freya wasn't sure how but she just knew it'd be Henry's bou. She was excited thanking the woman before rushing back to set.

Once on set Freya made her way right through it searching for a down trodden Henry. She was determined to help him out...And keep a secret at the same time, she wanted it to be a surprise. Finally she found him sitting at a covered table picking at his food Kal beside him resting his chin on the bench beside him.

"Henry? I have something that might cheer Kal up~" he looked to Freya with a confused look Joey and Anya frowned to noting the sly grin on her face. Henry placed his fork down wiping his hand and took a small purple business card and matching purple leaflet. He scowled reading it. Mama bears puppy spa?. He frowned looking up at Freya who smiled knowingly.

"I found it in the village shop window...Just trust me phone up, you can email to see? and the prices are reasonable...I think get them to come give Kal a quick once over might cheer him up having a little pamper" Henry sighed looking to the scruffy boy he was shedding again so maybe a wash cut and blow dry would help cheer him up...and stop him from waking up with fur in his mouth.

"Thanks...I think I might mobile one I take it?" Freya smirked nodding to him Henry was just to out of it to even

"Gets raving reviews...A local lady I think but seriously just treat him!" he smiled thanking her again deciding he might as well he had noticed Kal chewing his claws again but hadn't got the nail clippers with him and if they were going to come out here might as well get the works done. So that's what he did asked them to come out the next day as he had it off they booked as a last minuet. And that was where he now found himself sitting by the entrance of set waiting for a big purple mobile dog groomers. He was so engrossed in looking out for the van he didn't notice Freya Anya and Joey gathered a few feet behind him watching. Henry sighed petting Kal and wiping off the shedding fur letting it fall to the floor in tufts.

"God Kal you really do need this huh buddy? must be horrible going from silky daily brushed fur to now just once a week" He smiled rubbing Kal’s back dragging his fingers through the fur.

Henry frowned as suddenly Kal lifted his head sniffing then quicker then Henry could react he sprinted off across the makeshift car park Henry jumped up shouting for him but it was to late Kal was off the dog ignored him running around the corner and down the long track. Henry’s heart clenched and his blood ran cold as Kal disappeared out of sight then he heard it large truck skid to a stop Henry screamed Kal’s name tears already streaming fearing the worst as he rounded the corner  drawing attention as he sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him and almost collapsed in relief he was okay! Kal was okay he wasn't hit. He was pacing tail going ballistic and jumping whining excitedly yipping and barking loud and frantic scratching at the door barking and creating a huge fuss.

The door opened just as Henry skidded to a stop sliding on his knees in the gravel hugging Kal who wasn't interested in the slightest still trying to jump up at the woman? He looked up trying to see just what had made Kal pee with excitement. Henry froze as a familiar woman stood before him and quickly caught a jumping Kal and fell to the floor with him and Henry as Kal frantically tried to bombard her with kisses. She crouched down and held Kals face still forcing him to look her in the eyes. He couldn't believe what he was seeing until he heard her speak.

"YOU! JUST WHAT SO YOU THINK YOU WERE PLAYING AT!?!" your shout meant nothing to the pup as he was lunging at you wanting his kisses whining  beating Henry with his tail stayed behind the bear shaking like a leaf still in shock he petting him he needed to touch him after that scare.

"Henry!? Who was watching him?! I'll fucking kick there ass! fuck I'm so happy I saw him shit... Fuck! heads are gonna roll!" Henry tilted his head looking at you moving a hand to cup your cheek slowly.

"Y/n is-is that really you?" you smiled now calming down nodding to him

"Yeah...Hi Henry...I er-I take it Kal is my client for the day?" Henry nodded still refusing the release kal even though the dog wanted nothing to do with him as far a he was concered his mama was here and he wanted his cuddles.You smiled and stood up dusting yourself off then looked to the truck Kal wriggled out of Henry's grip jumping at you making you laugh ad pet him.

"Hey pooh bear I gotta move the truck first then we can have cuddles okay? Can you go with your daddy for a bit?" Henry stood shaking his head at you.

"No he wont he has missed you something chronic...He has been real depressed" you looked down to the dog and smiled opening the truck door and motioned for hims to climb in.

"Go on then one quick little ride then we can sort you out you little scruff bear...You getting in?" Henry nodded watching wincing as Kal clambered up into the truck then jumped in behind him controlling Kal a little as you drove up and parked off to the side then turned to face the still yipping pup.

"Okay okay bear calm down here you want cuddles?" at your open arms the dog dived at you still wagging his tail how it hadn't snapped off from hitting the hand break you don't know. "So pooh bear is my last minuet appointment? For the whole hog right?" Henry was stumped you...You were different still the same beautiful woman he hadn't stopped thinking about but you were more confident. you were happier and you glowed more if that was possible. Henry was flawed now was his chance...Why wasn't he speaking? why didn't he just say something? you looked at him a little confused. "Are you err...Are you okay Henry?" you asked slightly worried as Kal began to settle now that he had his mama back he placed his heavy head on your shoulder whining quietly in your ear. "I just... He needs a pamper...A professional pamper so... could you?" you smiled quickly nodding then quickly scratched Kals back kissing his cheek making him smile again. "Absolutely! make your boy nice and clean and fluffy and I even have a cute little dicky bow for the sweet boy~ Yesh I do  yesh I do my precious little pooh bear! you wanNa look all snazzy for you daddy? you coming in to? Can give you some pointers then you want have to splash out on it" it was then that something snapped in him and he stared at you licking his lips he began talking before he could even decide what to say. "...But what if I err...what if I wanted to splashout...It..Splashout on you?...And you know have you take care of him again...Have you stick around..." you frowned blinking he wanted you around? you'd assumed he had found someone better to look after the bear when you hadn't been called back. "You want me to stick around and look after Kal again?" he nodded blushing and running a hand through his hair he looked at you and swallowed.Fuck it Henry man up! just tell her!. "No! I...I want you to stick around and look after the both of us....Fuck that sounded clingy...W-What I meant is we both missed you...We have-Kal has been depressed...That fucking teddy! the bear you gave him he has been carrying it whining with it...Looking to me sulking he wanted me to find you again...I was such an ass i got him all excited to see you again and then you wasn't here he-we were both upset...A-and I want to see you...like see you" "You want me to...I don't understand...You don't want me to dogsit? Or you want me to dogsit again?" he sighed he was really ballsing this up. He tilted his head at you and moved to stroke Kals back calming himself down it was now or never Henry don’t let her escape again just Take the bull by the horns your meant to be a fucking witcher! superman and you cant even tell her you like her. he closed his eye and spoke with a low firm voice. "I want you here! I missed you and when I got home I was kicking myself....Y/n I have a- I was super excited to see you again but your not here and I...We need you...You were right Kal has a crush on you! A crush?...He's fucking in love with you and he was depressed without you! Missed you so much" you blinked looking from the dog to Henry "Kal...Loves me?" Henry nodded biting his bottom lip he sighed he could do this...He could do this just ask! just tell you. He smiled sweetly smoothing his hand over his face watching at you glanced at him weary. Then held up a hand then let it fall to his thigh. "Well yes very very much and he missed you terribly.... And he wants to spend time with you again and talk...Get to know you better and got out for walks, coffee ,maybe dinner? and I-I'm fucking this up shit..." you blinked gasping quietly l finally catching up with him you smiled shyly before speaking in a small voice. "Are...Are we still talking about Kal Henry?" you held your breath regretting the words as soon as they left your mouth maybe your hopes were to high? Were you reading to much into this?.   "No were not I..Please would-If you don't mind..And you don't have to! but I...Would you go out with me?...For Kal! He needs a woman around! he needs his Mama-NO NOT LIKE ERR SHIT FUCK!" you flushed blushing deep as Henry panicked covering his face embarrassed muttering trying to dig himself out of the hole he had dug. You giggled at him and smiled really embarrassed and moved to Kal peeking at him. Then spoke in a clear voice halting Henry's waffling. "Kal?~...Ha-have you been telling your daddy on me?~ you know when I told you I had a crush on him it was supposed to be a secret!" Henry snapped his head up to you blinking as if still taking in the information then a huge grin split across his face. "You have a crush on- fuck yes!" he leaned over to you before you could move he pressed Kals head out of the way and captured your lips you gasped making him smirk and quickly dart into your mouth. Henry smiled tilting his head you moaned l softly as he pressed you further back twisting his head suckling and thrusting back and forth trying to coax your tongue from your mouth. Then it was brought to an abrupt end as Kal lifted his head snout bumping into you chin snapping your jaw shut biting Henry's tongue. You quickly opened your mouth as he hissed and grunted jolting back with a laugh as almost immediately Kal gave him a look thag clearly said 'my mama' then began kissing your cheeks himself. Henry rolled his eyes poking out his tongue touching it with the pad of his finger checking for blood he smiled when there was none then spoke in a deep tone almost scolding to the pup snuggling into your neck hiding fro his dad.

"Kal....Son? You know your gonna have to share your Mama with me...I am your dad.."you chuckled leaning back looking to Henry as Kal continued to hide.

"Soo you..er you want to get lunch? Maybe after I sort out Kal?...He should have a nap after a good bath." Henry grinned wide nodding to you he was over the moon. "I'd love that! Maybe get a rerun of that kiss....Minus the jealous bear" you wriggled your eyebrows at him.

"Nah! Don’t have to wait that long! We can kiss when Kals safely leashed in the bath!" Kal suddenly pulled back wide eyed looking back and froth between you both making Henry laugh.

"Oh yes I forgot the bear doesn't like his baths" you giggled at him.

"Oh well you definitely need to be there with me...for moral support" he smiled wickedly before looking to Kal who was suddenly uncomfortable with the looks he was receiving. 

"Kal-e-bear time for a bath~" the dogs ears went down flat against his head as he sensed his parents were indeed going to wrestling him into a bath.

[theseshipsshallsail]

Oliver has developed a particular fondness for dinner drudgery over the past decade. At thirty-four, he felt a greater appreciation for the twinkle in Samuel’s eyes as he lured some unsuspecting academic into a debate he was destined to lose. The all-too-familiar smirk hidden behind a wine glass as Annella caught his gaze mid-rebuttal, the same mischief written over her features as that of her son’s. He even welcomed Mafalda’s regular fretting about his diminuito waistline as she cleared away what little remained of a feast fit for a king.

And then there was the man to his right. The man who held a cigarette in one hand, and his heart in the other. The man who slanted his head on Oliver’s shoulder as the evening wore on, allowing him to drop a kiss to the riotous curls that drew his fingers like a siren’s call. There were no more secrets between the four of them - though according to Annella there had never been any to begin with - and when Elio yawned twice in as many minutes Oliver found his own jaw cracking in sympathy. 

International flights never got any easier, and although they’d managed a short nap on the train in from Milan, they were both flagging fast.

The after-dinner conversation had revolved around his latest manuscript for the past half an hour, and slipping an arm around Elio’s side, Oliver tapped his ankle beneath the table. “You still with me?” he murmured softly, and Elio scoffed as he nestled closer.

“Seulement. One more limoncello and you’ll have to carry me to bed.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Or the last,” Elio said, as Samuel raised a toast in their direction.

“Happiness resides not in possessions or gold, but in the soul. Wouldn’t you agree, our wayward Americano?” he asked, prompting Oliver to back up his argument as he stole the last arancini from Elio’s plate. 

“Big results require big ambitions, Sami.”

“And nothing endures but change.”

“Always with the Heraclitus...” Elio grumbled good-naturedly, leaning over to kiss Annella on the cheek. “Bonne nuit, maman. Remind me to show you that biography in the morning.” 

“The Piaf?” she asked, and Elio nodded as he rose to his feet. 

“There’s a new bookstore just opened in the Village.”

“Che magnifico!” Annella said, stubbing out her cigarette. “Tell me all about it when you’re not falling asleep in your tortelli.” Smiling, she took Elio’s face between her palms. “Dormi bene, piccino. Et toi, Cauboi.”

Oliver laughed as he finished shaking hands with the other two guests - stalwarts of the Bocconi Languages department he vaguely remembered from his brief stint at the university. “I doubt that’ll be a problem. The moment my head hits the pillow I’ll be dead to the world.” 

Elio raised an eyebrow. “The dead don’t snore like Anchise’s old generator,” he said with a wink as Samuel rounded the table to join them. “Papà, siamo stanchi. It’s been a long day.”

“It certainly has,” Samuel said, hugging him tightly. “Go! Go! Don’t make me sprain anything by rolling you out of here.” Stepping back, he clasped Elio by the forearms. “I’ll ask Mafalda to save you something if you sleep through breakfast.”

“Molte grazie.”

“Anytime, figli miei,” Samuel said, embracing Oliver in turn. “Goodnight, the pair of you.” 

“Thanks, Pro.”

Enfolding Elio’s hand in his, Oliver led him towards the villa, taking the time to appreciate the sounds of nature after six months of city living. One day, he’d love to move here permanently - spend his golden years in the country that spurred his reinvention - but there was no rush. Not when the best part of Italy was a permanent fixture in his life, already.

The house was in shadows when they stepped over the threshold, but they each navigated the lofty hallways with ease as they headed upstairs. It was a journey they could do with their eyes closed, and avoiding the creaky top step out of habit they shut the door to Elio’s room behind them with a quiet click. Their room, technically, but in Oliver’s mind it would always be his. He may have usurped it for six weeks in the summer of ‘83, but the overstuffed bookcase and outdated cassette tapes were like a portal to the past, and it never failed to make him feel twenty-four again. 

Conflicting though those feelings might be.

The only obvious difference was the double bed now taking up space along the back wall - though Oliver quite missed the creaky single frames of yesteryear. The shutters were latched apart, letting out the stifling afternoon air, and the bathroom doors were pinned open, turning the space into the large suite that originally befitted Elio’s grandfather.

Toeing off his espadrilles, Oliver watched as Elio fell face first onto the bed. Dramatic as always, he groaned into the crisp, blue sheets, so Oliver hung his shirt up in the wardrobe then walked over to tug off his sneakers, placing them beneath the writing desk where he was unlikely to trip over them come morning. 

“I haven’t been this exhausted since I finished that three week stretch with the Philharmonic,” Elio said, words muffled, and Oliver chuckled as he sat down beside him.

“Fifteen hours by plane, and a ninety minute schlep on the Regionale? I think that’s to be expected.” Reaching over, he stroked a palm up Elio’s spine, bunching his t-shirt in its wake. “You can’t stay young and restless forever.”

“Speak for yourself, old man.” Elio shot him a sideways glance. “Why are you all the way over there?”

Over there, meaning beyond kissing range.

“I thought you were too tired?” Oliver asked, and Elio rolled his eyes like the precocious teenager he’d fallen so hopelessly in love with.

“Too tired for Democritus and his atomic theory,” he said, shifting onto his side. “Never too tired for you, tesoro.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Cradling Elio’s cheek in one hand, Oliver felt a hot lick of satisfaction as he brushed his thumb over the smooth skin, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth, then nibbling gently. A soft whine fell between them, and Elio slung his arms around Oliver’s shoulders, legs banding around his waist like a tether.

“That’s better,” he said, half-hard in his jeans. “Just like old times.”

Oliver sniggered. “Someone better warn the peaches.”

“Connard.”

“And a fine one it is, too,” he teased, swatting Elio’s ass through the stiff denim. 

The resultant yelp was a thing of beauty as Oliver ran his nose along Elio’s collarbone, savouring his scent. Beneath the sour musk of travel were the sweet notes of juniper and cherry laurel, and sucking briefly at his pulse point, Oliver actually felt the yawn building before Elio was forced to pull away, sighing in frustration.

“This isn’t happening, is it?”

“Define this,” Oliver said, licking away his pout. 

They might not be about to set any records for horizontal gymnastics, but the needy whimper Elio pressed to Oliver’s throat was enough to spur him onwards as they quickly rid each other of their clothing. Silver light streamed in through the windows, casting shadows over their naked bodies, and finesse fell by the wayside when Oliver brought their erections together, stroking them both in tandem. Transfixed, he watched the pleasure flick across Elio’s features, treasuring the way his lashes fluttered if he twisted just so - the glazed expression as he kissed him like they had all the time in the world. Leisurely and indulgent.

“I’m going to come,” Elio whispered scant minutes later.

Like it was a secret. 

Like it was something precious. 

And it was, Oliver knew, as the other man rutted into his palm, shuddering against him. It was there in every touch. Every tender endearment. Elio might wear his heart on his sleeve, but none of his previous lovers had been privy to the true depths of his emotions, and as he threw his head back in release Oliver couldn’t help but chase him over the edge, inarticulate and inelegant in his abandon.

Pearly white covered his fist as liquid fire rushed through his veins, each movement growing slower and slower until they eventually ground to a stop, swallowing each other’s gasps between needy pulls of their mouths. Groggy with sensation, his lungs felt constricted by the memory of how to breathe, yet sweaty, sated - and in dire need of a shower - they lay there in the aftermath, neither of them willing to give in as their eyelids started to droop. 

He loved Elio like this. Loved him always of course, but especially like this. With his hair mussed - his face relaxed - his lips swollen as a result of his kisses, and Oliver sighed fondly as he brushed the curls from his forehead, only to receive an incoherent grumble for his efforts. It was his mind he’d fallen in love with first, though. The way he challenged him constantly. Pushed his boundaries day-by-day. Always striving for more. 

He’d been a fool to consider walking away. To give Elio up, however begrudgingly. He was a part of him - perfect in his imperfections - and as Elio drifted off between one blink and the next, Oliver banished such dismal thoughts to the shadows of the past, refusing to give them life when his future lay literally in his arms.

“Goodnight, amore mio,” he whispered, and grinning, hooked his toes in the underwear hanging from the bedpost - his, Elio’s, he couldn’t quite tell - wiped the worst of the mess from their painted stomachs, then followed him into a dreamless stupor.

 Something was tickling Oliver’s nose as he floated in the trance-like state between sleep and reality. It was a familiar experience, and forcing one eye open he smiled down at Elio’s crown where it rested upon his chest. Their legs were entangled beneath the sheets, the toes of Elio’s left foot twitching beside his calf, and Oliver tapped an idle rhythm along his spine as he squinted at the blessedly silent alarm clock. 

It was almost seven a.m, and with zero intentions of moving anytime soon, Oliver watched the dust motes dance in the pink strokes of dawn. He was still foggy, but with his recent promotion and the increased demands of Elio’s tour schedule, moments like these were few and far between in New York, so Oliver indulged himself by listening to Elio’s steady breaths, unwilling to disturb him prematurely. 

The villa was quiet and still as the sun climbed higher in the sky, and when Elio burrowed into his neck, Oliver felt the same dizzy thrill he always had, thanking his lucky stars for the man who’d turned his life upside down in the very best of ways. 

Sappho once wrote what cannot be said will be wept, and this room had seen it’s fair share of tears at the start of their relationship. Even now, it was hard to believe how close he’d come to losing it all. But like Odysseus, Oliver had returned to his love, and he had every intention of seeing this journey through to completion.

“In the crooks of your body, I find my religion,” he whispered, continuing to smooth random patterns over Elio’s trapezius, and it was all he could do not to moan in response as an arm wrapped around his waist, skimming his burgeoning erection.

“Mere air, these words, but delicious to hear...”

Verbal and cognizant was more than Oliver would usually expect before Elio’s first cup of coffee, but taking a chance, he tilted his face up to see him properly. “Morning, sunshine. I thought you were asleep.” 

Elio yawned into the hand at his jaw. “Not with you scribbling Ancient Greek on my ribcage.”

“You caught that?”

“Ovviamente.” Humming, he dug his chin into Oliver’s sternum. “It felt like you were writing your name at first, but then you drew the symbol for pi, and I figured you were just hungry.”

Oliver snickered. “Did you not notice Mafalda’s continued attempts to fatten me up? Maybe I should tell her it’s your hip bones that leave bruises, instead.”

“You love it.”

“More than she’ll ever know,” he conceded, mourning the loss of skin on skin as he eased out from underneath him. “Alright, genius. Since you’re so good at this...” Pushing the covers out of the way, Oliver traced a treble clef from the middle of Elio’s back to his sacrum, finishing it off with a flourish. “What was that?”

Elio smacked his lips. “Too easy,” he murmured into his folded arms. “And a bit crooked. My old music tutor would plotz.”

“Brat.” Oliver smirked as he knelt between his thighs. “Are you challenging my artistry?”

“Might be.”

“Might be, he says.” Chuckling, he ran his thumb up from Elio’s tailbone, sure and certain. “How about my penmanship, then? What letter?”

A pink flush spread over Elio’s cheek. “D,” he decided, squirming slightly as Oliver’s huff stirred the loose curls beside his ear.

“How on earth do you confuse a P with a D?”

“Have you seen the state of your handwriting?” Elio protested, constantly offended by his messy scrawl. “Aren’t you professor types meant to set an example?” 

Oliver scoffed. ”Perish the thought,” he said, dropping a lingering kiss to his nape. Elio’s cock lay flushed with need, and though he had no intention of bringing him off quite yet, Oliver couldn’t resist brushing his palm over the underside. “Indulge me,” he continued, stroking from root to tip. “Let’s play a game.”

“What sort of game?”

“An easy one, apparently.” Fighting his own arousal, Oliver followed the thick vein up then back, tugging gently on Elio’s balls. “But guess right, and I promise I’ll take care of this for you when I’m done. How’s that for an example?”

“Your generosity knows no bounds...”

“Ready?”

“Che diavolo!” Elio turned towards him, and Oliver felt breathless as he looked him square in the eye. “Tell me you’re joking?”

“Just a little longer,” he promised, propping himself on one arm to walk his fingers over Elio’s scapula, leaving a thin trail of slickness when he curved it round to his lower back. “Letter?”

Elio settled down with a put-upon sigh. “An S?” 

“Correct.” Oliver pressed a fingertip to the freckle on his hip. “Next one,” he said, drawing a diagonal line up to his top vertebrae, then sweeping down to its twin. 

“A?” Elio asked, then went rigid as Oliver poked him between his ribs. “Smetilla! That tickles!”

“It’s supposed to.”

“Why?” Laughing, he batted him away. “Did I get it wrong?”

“Not at all,” Oliver said, splaying a proprietary hand over his right buttock. “But next time, let me finish first, yeah?”

“Never heard you say that before.”

“Don’t be jealous of my stamina, Perlman.”

“Stronzo.” Elio arched into his touch. “Another.”

“Eager, are we?”

Elio snorted into his forearm. “Eager. Horny. Non vedo differenza.”

“Fair enough.” Oliver angled his thumb and forefinger towards Elio’s spine, fluid and precise. “This one’s harder,” he said, pinching them together.

“V?” Elio asked before he could go any further, and Oliver tutted as he began a downwards line towards his tailbone.

“Au contraire, mon chéri,” he said with a playful growl. “Not till I’m finished, remember?”

It was the work of a moment to complete the action, and Elio shivered as he glanced back at him through heavy lashes. “Y,” he muttered, shoulders hitching with a snigger. “A few inches can make all the difference, sì?”

Oliver smiled. “So I’ve been told,” he said, the slight breeze from the window lifting the hair from his forehead. “And what can we derive from that?” 

Elio had a specific weakness for his public speaking voice. One which Oliver wasn’t above exploiting at every opportunity. 

“Fuck…”

“Nope.”

Slender fingers circled his wrist as Elio cursed him out in several languages. 

“Spell it for me,” Oliver encouraged, turning his lips to the salt-gleam dimple above his ass, before remembering to narrow it down. “In English, per favore.”

“S-A-Y,” Elio answered obediently, already sounding flustered. “Say.”

“And you thought you’d never complete your Masters…”

“Attaccati a sto cazzo.”

“Rude.” Oliver licked a stripe across his earlobe. “Be a good boy, and I’ll cling to yours, though.”

“Santo Cielo…” Elio huffed in annoyance. “I really hate you right now.”

“No you don’t.” Oliver snuck an apologetic kiss to his temple. “Not even a little bit,” he told him, copying the exact same pattern from earlier. “Second word, if you please.”

“Another Y?”

“Another Y,” he confirmed, watching as Elio clutched the pillow in a white-knuckled grip. 

He remained perfectly still, however, so Oliver drew a deliberate line along his left flank before placing the pad of his thumb back at the beginning, then dragging it to the right. Once more, from the middle, then again from the bottom, and Elio was almost panting when he finally stopped.

“E,” he whispered, causing Oliver’s heart to skip a beat.

Because this was it. 

No turning back.

There was an urgent pressure in his throat, and when he tried to swallow it down, the emotions damn near choked him. “Last one,” he muttered, snaking his index finger in another winding curve, and Elio waited until he lifted it away completely before answering.

“That’s an S,” he said, then paused to string all three letters together. “Yes?” Freeing his wrist, Elio rolled over to face him. “Say yes?” he asked, sleep-rumpled and adorably confused, so Oliver hummed something vaguely agreeable as he mouthed at his jawline, needing the rough scratch of stubble to ground him. “I don’t understand.” Brows knit, Elio pushed up on his elbows. “Say yes to what? What is it that you want?”

Oliver had spent weeks trying to find the right words, but ultimately, only three would suffice. 

“To marry you,” he said, light-headed - and slightly concerned he was about to vomit. He hadn’t felt this terrified since he’d knocked on the adjoining door nine years ago, nothing but a broken heart and the vain hope of forgiveness to his name. “A piece of paper won’t change anything. I know that. But I told you once - out on that very balcony - that I loved you. All of you. Body, mind, and everything in between. You make me happier than I ever thought possible, Elio. This… you… you’re it for me.”

“Cuore mio…” Elio released a plaintive sigh. “I love you, too,” he whispered, taking Oliver’s cheeks in his hands as he sat up against the headboard. “But the courts... you know they won’t recognise -”

“Legally, no,” Oliver agreed, shifting to his knees. “Not yet. But we can do this our own way. Have a ceremony for us alone.”

“Not alone,” Elio corrected absently, hooking his heels behind him. “Together.” His lips pressed into a firm line, and the seconds in which he blinked back at him were the longest of Oliver’s existence. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” he asked, and instead of answering, Oliver reached for the small box he’d hidden in the bedside cabinet upon their arrival. 

“Open it?” he asked nervously, and Elio made a sound that was almost a laugh, high-pitched and fluttering.

“Only you...” he said, and if it weren’t for the tell-tale crack in his voice, Oliver might be worried. “Only you would wait until I’m jet-lagged and sporting a semi to ask me the second most important question of my life.”

“Just a semi?” Oliver slid a palm to the crease of his thigh. “Hang on. Second? What was the first?” he asked, and Elio smiled as he gently butted against him. 

“Does this make you happy?”

“Oh...” 

Elio held his gaze. “So important you asked me twice, in fact.”

“I did, didn’t I?” No doubt there would be a third time, too. He’d always admired the sight of Elio in a tux - slightly more so than the sight of him out of one - and Oliver resolved there and then to fit it into his vows. “Still, that was before your rejection of all things cliché. How’s a man supposed to plan a proposal around that?”

“Quelle question!”

“Such high maintenance,” Oliver murmured, tipping his chin. “But I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

It was a struggle to kiss whilst grinning inanely, but they gave it a good try nonetheless.

“Are you going to open this or what?” Oliver asked, bracing himself as Elio cracked upon the box to reveal the antique gold and onyx band.

“That’s my grandfather’s ring,” he whispered softly.

“It is.” Giddy, Oliver watched the sunlight glint off the heirloom’s polished surface. “Sami wanted you to have it. He’s had it cleaned and resized for the occasion.”

“My father?” Elio raised an eyebrow. “Plotting again, were you?”

“Not as such,” Oliver said, remembering the two word inscription on the inside. “I couldn’t care less about government approval, but I needed to know we have it from those whose opinion I actually value.” His heart tripped over itself as he chuckled apprehensively. “I think your mother’s already chosen a hat,” he confessed, and Elio groaned. 

“She’s going to invite everyone we’ve ever met.”

“She’ll not be inviting anyone if you don’t say yes,” Oliver teased, and the look he received could cut glass. 

“Idiota.” 

“Charming.”

“In what possible scenario would I ever say no to you?” Elio asked, reeling him in by the Star of David around his neck. “You’re a part of me. You are me.” Leaning in, he nuzzled into his hairline. “Oliver… you’re the best person I’ve ever met. Credimi. You’ve always been my forever.”

“Cor cordium.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t even -” Oliver froze. “Wait. Did you just -”

“Yes,” Elio repeated, eyes bright. “Yes, Oliver!”

It didn’t matter that his own vision was blurred. That the full extent of his vulnerabilities were on display. That Elio saw just how lost in him he truly was. Relief purged his body, sparks detonated across his skin, and Oliver made a chorus of his name as he freed the ring from its velvet cushion. It was cool to the touch when he picked it up - the weight of it heavy with promise - yet with unsteady fingers he slid it onto Elio’s left hand, sealing his declaration with a heartfelt kiss to his knuckles. 

“Please tell me these are happy tears,” Oliver whispered, pulling him into his arms.

“Why? Afraid I’ll get a nosebleed?” 

“Way to spoil the mood, Casanova…”

“The sweetest pleasures are those which are hardest to be won,” Elio quoted, studying the black inlay almost reverentially. 

Oliver studied him instead. “You like it?”

“È perfetto.” Elio sniffed as he ducked his head. “I want to get you one, too. If you’ll wear it.”

“Wear it?” Oliver’s lungs were far too tight, but at least that meant he wasn’t dreaming. “Why would I ever take it off?”

“And change my name. Officially, this time.”

His smile was so wide it hurt his cheeks. “Anything you want, sweetheart,” Oliver said, clutching Elio close, pressing his face into the hollow of his shoulder. This was their life, chosen and built together. Theirs to have, now and for always. “As long as I can call you mine… anything at all.” 

[toplinetommy]

Redefining Home - Matthew Tkachuk

Synopsis: After spending months with Matthew in his childhood home in St. Louis, it’s time for him to go back to Calgary, and the reality of your normally long-distance relationship settles back in.

Words: 2k

A/N: very brief mention of the pandemic, gif credit @matthewtkafuck​

Three months - almost four; that’s how long you had spent close to every second of every day with Matthew and the entirety of the Tkachuk family. It was a huge change in the way you and Matthew experienced your relationship. Over the past year and a half of your relationship, the entire of it was spent as long-distance.

You had met Matthew when you had just started your career in Chicago, working for your dream company, living in an apartment your younger self could only dream of. Matthew had been in town for a game against the Chicago Blackhawks. They had won, the younger guys on the team opting to go out to celebrate, while you and some of your roommates were celebrating a birthday. One thing led to another and you had quite literally bumped into Matthew’s tall and broad frame while chasing your extremely drunk friend.

That night your friend ended up finding the rest of your group and you seemed to be glued to Matthew’s side the second you guys made eye contact. Sure you got yelled at by your friends the following morning about how you ditched them, but in the long run, no one could complain. You had gotten the handsome, curly-headed NHL player’s phone number with absolutely no intention to ever use it. That was until a few days later a text from an unsaved number popped up, saying it was Matthew from the bar a few nights ago. 

With him being a professional athlete in not only another country, but a different timezone, your guys’ relationship had started off with what most people would classify as a friendship based around your clear attraction for one another. Texting each other a few times a day turned into texting all day, every day, which then turned into facetiming any chance the two of you could get. Whether that be during your lunch break at work, him on the team bus to the airport, when you were walking down the city blocks of downtown Chicago, or him skipping his pre-game naps to just to hear your voice.

Your relationship started to shift from two friends to two people that were clearly interested in one another trying to figure out how to discuss those feelings when you were never in the same city and rarely in the same timezone. After weeks of pestering and some convincing from your roommate, you had agreed to get on a plane when Matthew had a string of home back-to-backs one weekend. He convinced you to come to see him play in person and then he could officially give you the wine and dine experience he told you you deserved.

That one weekend trip turned into you visiting him any weekend you could when he was in Calgary and even some when he was in various other cities. It was weekends away with him in his Calgary apartment and him flying into Chicago to spent time with you and your roommates with the very little free time he got. 

Weeks and weeks of flying around the North American continent and late-night facetimes when you weren’t together passed by before he had asked you to be his girlfriend to which you excitedly said yes to that one night in his Calgary apartment.

Those weekends spent flying in an out of Chicago were worth it though. Now, here you both were, in Matthew’s childhood home in St. Louis planning for what your guys’ next move was once he got on his flight back to Calgary to start training camp before the playoffs.

You’re sitting on the large sectional in the family living room, your feet laying across Matthews’s lap as he mindlessly rubs his thumb along your shins. You shiver at one particular stroke of his thumb causing Matthew to giggle and playfully squeeze your leg. You kick him playfully while sticking your tongue out, hoping to pull his attention from the tv show playing in front of you two. 

“Matthew,” you try, sticking out your bottom lip in a pout. He turns his head towards you raising his eyebrows as he hums out his response. Even though he’s facing you now, his gaze is still focused on the tv in front of him so you try again. 

“Matty,” you try again, this time dragging out his name in a whine. 

“Yeah, baby?”

“Give me attention.”

“Y/n, we‘re watching tv there’s only so much attention I can give you,” he reasons. He moves one of his hands further up your leg, reaching out to grab one of yours. He pulls your hand, making you sit up from where you’re leaning back against the couch. He continues to pull you until you’re curled into his side, head on his shoulders and legs still in his lap. 

He places his hand atop your head, flattening the stray strands of hair before placing a kiss there. Once his lips leave the crown of your head, he keeps his hand there as he continues to push his fingers through your hair and watch the show playing on the tv screen. 

You mindlessly move your body around, faking uncomfortableness in order for Matthew to abandon the show and give you his full attention. Once you’ve moved your hand across his chest for what felt like the 50th time in five minutes, Matthew grabs the remote next to him pausing the show. 

“What’s on your mind?”

“You’re leaving again in a few days, just wanna spend as much time with you as possible.”

At the admission, Matthew pulls your body further into his lap, maneuvering you so you’re straddling him. He looks into your eyes, noting the soft expression on your face as you look back into his blue eyes. 

“Baby,” He starts, his hand wrapped around the side of your neck, thumb resting on your jaw. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“But you’ll be back here and I’ll be back in Chicago.”

“And I’ll come see you when the season’s over, just like I did last year.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore.” You let out barely above a whisper. Matthew jolts at your response, slightly pushing yourself body away from his as he leans back into the couch cushions trying to put as much space between the two of you he can. 

“What?”

“No, not like that,” you smile. “I love you, you idiot, you aren’t getting rid of me that easy. I just meant being apart.”

Matthew sighs heavily at your clarification, his thighs relaxing underneath you. You place your hands around his neck, leaning your body into him. 

“I thought you were okay with us doing distance? It’s been working so far, hasn’t it?”

“It was, yeah, I don’t know. I just had this plan and then this whole pandemic hit and you let me come stay here these past few months and it’s just been so nice being around you all the time. It was working before, it just doesn’t seem like the ideal choice anymore.”

“But you had your plan. You’re gonna work your ass off until you get your promotion, then we were gonna talk about moving in together.”

“I know but my perspective has changed,” you start. “How am I supposed to just go back to Chicago without you, not knowing when we’ll see each other again when I got to have some of the best three months of my life with you here in St. Louis. It’s like I didn’t know how amazing it would be to be around you nonstop and now that I know what it’s like I’m not sure I can just go back to Chicago and how we were.”

Matthew tilts his head to look more directly at your face that’s now laying on his chest. He moves his hand to your head, tilting it upwards to meet his gaze. Instead of responding right away, he opts to lean in and place his lips on yours in a gentle kiss that expresses his love for you.

“I love you, so much, baby.” He assures you.

“I love you.”

“So you’re saying that you don’t want to do distance anymore?”

“I don’t think I can, especially not after knowing what it’s like to live with you.” You reiterate.

“I don’t want you to put me before your career, especially when I’ll be gone half the season on the road,” Matthew speaks lowly. He knows the weight of the decision you’re pondering and wants to make sure it’s the right one.

“I want to be with you Matty, all the time, no matter what.” You move away from him, trying to get a better look at his facial features as you speak. “I’ll start looking for jobs in Calgary tomorrow even.”

“You’re serious?” Matthew laughs, eyebrows raised.

“100 percent.” You smile widely, leaning in towards Matthew’s face to touch your lips to his. His eyes stare into yours until your lips meet in a very giggly and teeth-filled kiss. A kiss that’s full of pure elation at the decision the two of you just made. 

“It’s more than just getting a job, it’s in a whole new country.” He breathes against your lips.

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Instead of you just moving into my place, let’s find a new apartment. My lease ends in November, you can come up then and we can look for a new place. Our place.”

“Can it at least have the same floor-to-ceiling windows you have in your place now?” You request with glee.

“Anything my girl wants, she gets.” Matthew laughs, giving you one more quick kiss and a squeeze at your waist. “Is it selfish of me to say I’m thankful for this quarantine, then? I get you with me 24/7 now.”

You laugh at his suggestion, “How did I get so lucky?”

Brady and Keith both walk in the room as you finish talking, Brady instantly chirping his brother. “You’re the lucky one? I’m pretty sure Matthew’s the lucky one in your relationship.”

Matthew pushes your body away from his, grabbing the decorative pillow next to him and throwing it at his brother’s moving figure. You laugh as the pillow missing Brady and hits Keith instead, who instantly scolds his oldest son. 

“You guys look awfully happy.” He comments.

Matthew looks back at you, silently asking for your approval on sharing the news before you nod your head yes. “We’re moving in together.”

“Three months with us and you’re still choosing to move in with him?” Brady chirps once again. “I’m surprised he hasn’t run you out of St. Louis yet.” Keith looks at his younger son at this, giving him a stern look telling him to shut up.

“Congratulations guys,” Keith smiles. “Y/n, whatever happens, don’t get roped into doing his laundry all the time. Despite his complaining, he does know how to do it.” 

Matthew rolls his eyes at his family members’ chirps, still basking in the excitement that was your guys’ relationship’s next step. You couldn’t agree more with his earlier statement - you had to be thankful for being stuck at the Tkachuk family home for three months. It took your relationship to the next level, even with the very close encounters where you were sure Matthew was getting under your skin just to piss you off. Matthew was your best friend and you couldn’t wait to be a part-time Canadian, something he liked to call himself with his career. Being with him all day for the past few months only reaffirmed your deep love for the curly-headed boy who sat underneath you.

[mintvender]

Y/N came home after a war that took months, What's the boys gonna do??? I'm thinking that the war is to either take over a kingdom or the kingdom declared war!

-🌼 Anon

Little anon, for this particular ask, I will be focusing more on the emotional aspect of each person with a less detailed scene as that may contain some spoilers. Hope you understand 🌿 🌿 💚

HaremAu!

BTS’s Reaction to Y/N Returning Victoriously

A/n: Please do keep in mind that these boys have a very traumatizing past so they won’t act like the average person. Also, this is also an era where power rules all, so you can tell that without power, a person will literally be of no use so please understand that it differs from ours.

Masterlist

Red Carnations: Symbolises admiration and missing another. Along with pink carnations, they are a common flower that is used to signify your longing for a particular someone.

Kim Taehyung

With his identity, it is not a surprise to many people that he is in fact involved in the planning. Though, due to his rather weak physique, he obviously would have no chance of surviving the battlefield so he had to stay within the capital, and wait for your return. Taehyung knew that the chance of you winning is much more likely but with how long you were gone, he was slowly losing hope. Days without you seems to be eternity for him, with every passing moment bringing pain, while the next too far out of his reach. As days turned into weeks which morphs into months, Taehyung is slowly reminded of his past traumas. The longer he is without you, the more insecure he became that it made an opening for his nightmares to begin chasing him.

The moment he saw you, Taehyung basically forgot everything in the past few months and focus solely on you. Seeing you alive and healthy, he was beyond glad that you have kept your promise. Though, he would be quite calm during the celebration of your return, but the moment you guys are alone, Taehyung would cling to you, telling you how much he had missed your presence. As the Royal Consort, he gets to spend the first night back with you. As a result, that night was the first night in months where he was able to sleep soundly, a gentle smile adorned his face in the process.

“ You... are back? Is this a dream? ... No, you’re really back!”

Kim Namjoon

As the head of the medicinal department, Namjoon wasn’t allowed to leave his office to attend to all the injurded soldiers on the battlefield. If he were to do so, there would not be a capable person to handle all the affairs of the department which would be extremely burdensome once he gets back. As a result, Namjoon makes sure that all the physicians, who will be accompanying you are very experienced and skilled. Of course, he was very proud of all the physicians in his department but he wants the best to serve you while being away in a foreign area.

During this time, Namjoon’s way to cope with the feeling of longing for you is to busy himself with work to get his mind off you. So during your time away, he had accomplished many major plans which resulted in you awarding many valuable herbs when you had returned. It was clear as day that Namjoon was extremely proud of his effort, and seeing you also feeling honour of having him by your side, nothing boost his self-esteem than that. He, also surprised you by using all those previous herbs to help concoct essences and medicine for you to utilise. To say the least, Namjoon would show his affections through the hours you both spent together nurturing you back to perfect health.

“ How have you been these months? I assume it was quite exhausting considering how tense your muscles are.”

Jung Hoseok

When you’re busy in the foreign lands, Hoseok would be much more involved in the harem’s matter because of many reason. The main being him wanting to help you out as best as he possibly could. He knew that with you being away for months, piles of work will start to accumulate and would overwhelm you the moment you are back, so he does try to ease some of those burdens. Hoseok, at this time will be less energetic, seemingly loosing his energy as time continues to go by. Assuming that you guys already has a deep bond at this time, he would feel like something is weighing down at his heart the longer you are away. This continue to worsen once his father got permission to visit him.

Despite this, he tries his best to continue to smile on but anyone could tell that it was far from genuine. However, the moment that he heard that you are indeed returning and after getting reassurance too many times, he began to feel his heart lighten, seemingly relaxing along with the news. He would be very proud of you for winning the war, but will freak out the moment he detect a single wound on you. Though, during the entire process, a smile is always adorned on his face while his body relaxes within your presence. Hoseok would also make sure to praise you plenty of times whenever you are with him.

“ Don’t worry, your majesty. Your... workload is not that much. I bet that you can even finish it in a week. Why?... I-I tried my best to help you, I hope you don’t mind.”

Min Yoongi

Aside from you getting to see his vulnerable side, Yoongi still remains as an emotionless person for everyone else. On the outside, he doesn’t seem to be affected by you being away but if anyone were to observe a little closer, they would start to notice how his motions are much sloppier than normal. This was the result of the countless nights that he spent awake, crying to himself. Yoongi felt that he was worthless and couldn’t help you in any ways. Because of his status, he was restricted from getting to attend anything that could threaten the new dynasty’s position. As a result, Yoongi has no power to be of any help to you. Though, he does managed to utilise his previous lessons and try to improve himself.

As a result, you were quite surprise to see how different Yoongi was when you got back. On the other hand, Yoongi almost couldn’t take hold of his feelings and tackled you on the spot if it wasn’t for the countless people present on the scene. You bet the moment you guys are alone, he would hug you tightly and cry within your arms, wanting nothing but your comfort. These past months had been extremely hard for the boy, especially without your protection but he managed to survive it all and is now bathing in your presence. He then began to list all the things that he had done and promises to be more helpful to you.

“ Your majesty? How are you here? Aren’t you at... No, that’s not important now. You are finally back! I have been working very hard to be of help for you. Let me show you what I’ve accomplished.”

Jeon Jungkook

As your bodyguard, it would be extremely unlikely that he would ever leave your side in this kind of situation. However, if there was a chance that he would have to part from you, possibly likely forced to, it would have to be from an injury that prevents him to do his job that would take an expansive time to heal. Jungkook takes his position very seriously and would be quite lost once he returned to the capital to take a break. He feel like he just failed his job as a bodyguard and couldn’t protect you properly.

If this happens, the best way to deal with it is to let him be alone, before approaching him. Once he starts to open up again, carefully approach him with the topic to not overwhelm him. After getting him back, you would noticed how much his swordsmanship have improved. This was the result of the countless of hours that he spent working on them so he can do his job better when you get back. Hearing about your victory, Jungkoook would become quite proud of getting to be the bodyguard of such an amazing person. However, do try your absolute best to not be injured; it would put quite a bit of pressure on him for not completing his role.

“ Your majesty, are you wounded. Are you sure?... I sincerely apologize for not being there to protect you! If I was there I could have prevented these wounds from appearing on your body.”

Kim Seokjin

Since our merchant is from a different country, he would spend the majority of those months there. Seokjin’s main reason to come to Corea is to be with you so with you being away, he has no reason to be cope with the life within the palace walls. He will spend his days in his old home, reviving all the long forgotten memories of you and him. As he is in the headquarter of his company, work is expected to consume most of his time. However, this does not stop him from thinking about you. In fact, it makes him long for those times even more. Once he heard that you are returning, Seokjin will work countless hours to finish all his work and assign people to represent the company in his stead and rush back to Corea. How he is still allowed to be there? Thanks to you of course; you’ve long bonded with each other that you pay no mind with him staying there.

Now, if Seokjin sees even the smallest wound on you, he will spend hours lecturing you in private setttings, and a couple more for the rest of the physicians. To say the least, he will be quite upset about seemingly everything you say — both privately and publicly, and he will proudly show his distaste. However, Seokjin is proud of your achievements even if he is too prideful too admit so. Though, he will lightly congratulate you on behalf of his country.

“ You BRAT! Is that a scratch that I see. Maids, go and get the medicine from the west! You worthless physicians, why couldn’t you even prevent these measly wounds from scarring!”

Park Jimin

Jimin, would probably the most affected besides Taehyung and Yoongi just because he is grown so used to your presence. Suddenly getting forced to separate from you, he would naturally seem quite loss. It is a reasonable actions for someone who has been traumatized during their childhood. Unlike Taehyung, who will continue with his duties, Jimin will lock himself within his yard, seemingly gone missing during those months. His attitude would also be quite off whenever the consorts would go and visit him. As a person from somewhere else, he does not have any relative that could help him pass the time. As a result, he would feel nothing else than suffocation during those months.

With you coming back, it was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Jimin would desperately cling onto that very speck of light until he finally realizes that you are indeed truly coming back. Slowly Jimin would pick up his shattered self and force them into a perfect mask again. It is up to you to continue to help him heal and understand why he is so vulnerable.

“ Don’t come here! I said I’m fine... NO! Your majesty? Is it really you?”

Copyright © 2021 MintVender

All rights reserved.

[avengerscompound]

Running to a Standstill - 15

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1610

Rating:  E

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers.  While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 15

It was too easy to fall into a sense of comfortable security while you were navigating your relationship with Bucky and Steve.  Whether it was false or not, you still had moments where it scared you how many defenses you’d let down when you were with them.  Two weeks after the incident at the library and you were heading out to parks again with Geo and Bucky.  A month of nothing popping up on your radar and you were relaxed enough not to keep looking around everywhere while you were out.  It wasn’t a conscious thing, but if you were asked why you’d relaxed so much you might have said that it was just a hope that the people after you had seen you with the Avengers and figured you were too difficult a target to pin down.

It was hard to say if it was exactly that.  The truth was that being that relaxed most of the time made those times you weren’t relaxed worse.  When it all bubbled up that it was quite possible that there were people out there that still wanted to get their hands on Geo you’d have a panic attack and on more than one occasion Steve and Bucky had needed to talk you down from doing something really rash or stupid.

You wished that there would be some kind of break in the case so that whoever the hell it was that had been hunting you could be arrested and your son could get a normal fucking life.  Or at least a happy and stable one.  Steve kept you up-to-date with what was going on, but even after almost two months of having people undercover they’d only managed to get in with a few of the larger dealers on the island and they still didn’t have the supplier.

You figured it had to happen some time though, so even when those panic attacks hit, you didn’t run.  You were falling in love and as much as you were trying to protect Geo from becoming attached to Bucky or Steve you knew he already was.  And not just to Bucky or Steve, but to Tony, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, and FRIDAY too.  You had to commit to this working for his sake and hope it wasn’t the worst decision you’d ever made.

They made it easy to commit to though.  The three of you had been following the plan you and Steve had set out.  Bucky had been sticking to your side for every outing.  He came to parks and museums with you, always making sure to stay alert ever when Geo was babbling away to him or using him as some kind of organic jungle gym.  Even after a month and a half of no signs of being followed he stayed alert in ways you had stopped being.  He noticed everything, and it might have been part of the reason why you had started to relax so much.

The three of you had been taking time to bond with each other individually as well as together. It was working well and even when you did have small flares of jealousy over what might have been perceived as a special bond between Bucky and Steve that you didn't always feel you shared, they were quickly chased away when your own unique bond with each man was pulled into the spotlight.

This was not at all the life you had envisioned for yourself when you’d started college all those years ago, but considering the huge dip the roller coaster that was your life had taken, while this new high was unique, but you were definitely enjoying it.

Bucky had organized a trip to the Math Museum.  He’d had to call ahead because the security at the venue was pretty tight and he didn’t want to have to explain why he was carrying two different handguns and three different knives into a children’s museum.

They let the three of you through the gift shop and as soon as you’d entered the play area Geo had rushed to the square wheeled tricycles and started riding one of them around in circles, occasionally needing Bucky to give him a little push but squealing with excitement anytime he got any kind of speed up.

“We really need to get that kid a bike,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, things like bikes were never really very practical,” you admitted. “I guess if we’re sticking around we can get one.”

Bucky smiled.  It was a smile that made his eyes look soft and content and he wrapped his arm around your waist.  “Next time we go out, we should take him to get one.”

Geo climbed off the bike and toddled over to you.  You crouched down to face him and he flopped down onto the ground, his fingers opening and closing on the ground.  “Down dare,” he said.

“You want to go downstairs?”  You asked.

“They down dare,” he said and patted the floor.

“Okay, come on kiddo,” Bucky said, picking him up so he was upside down, kicking and giggling in delight.  “Let’s go see downstairs.”

Bucky carried Geo down the stairs and it was clear even by halfway down what had been calling to Geo.  The room was filled with interactive screens, battling robots, and floors that lit up with different games.  Geo came alive.  Running from activity to activity with no pattern you could follow but a smile that wouldn’t leave his face.  There was no other kid there, regardless of their age that could keep up with him.  Every machine seemed to want to please Geo and they all performed their roles perfectly for him.

It felt like you were down there for hours.  Geo just jumping from one thing to the next.  Eventually he started to wane and he ended up just lying down in the middle of the mathsquare - much to the annoyance at the kids trying to play on it.

Bucky went and scooped him up.  “Okay, Gee, how about we go and get some hotdogs?”

“Bug-key,” Geo whined, flopping dramatically in his arms.

“Maybe we should just get him home, he looks pretty tired,” you said, as you walked upstairs with Bucky.

“Didn’t you want to head down to the farmer’s market?”  Bucky asked.  “You have the stroller right?”

You nodded.  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

You grabbed the stroller and Bucky put the little boy in it.  Geo immediately shoved his thumb in his mouth and held his hand up.  Bucky dug around in this backpack and pulled out the tablet, giving it to Geo who immediately hugged it and closed his eyes.

Moments like these gave you such mixed feelings.  Bucky had gotten so good with Geo he could read him without Geo using his words.  He was becoming a dad to him more and more each day.  It was wonderful in so many ways.  Both Steve and Bucky seemed to love that role and it was rare to find men like that and here you had two who not only obviously liked Geo and cared about his wellbeing, but cared about you too and accepted that the two of you came as a package.  Yet it was also terrifying.  The more they fit that role the worse it would hurt if it didn’t last.  It was so soon in your romantic relationship and it was so much pressure to love up to that even under normal circumstances things would feel like they were moving too fast and were too fragile to hold onto.  And these were far from normal circumstances.

Bucky offered you his arm and you hooked yours around it and began the walk past Madison Square Park.

It wasn’t a long walk to Union Square Park and it was a nice day out.  Geo was deep asleep by the time you arrived at the bustling markets.

“I consider myself a native and I don’t think I’ve ever been to these markets before,” Bucky said as you passed under the banner welcoming you to the markets.   “There’s so much stuff.”

“What do you want to get?  Purple carrots?  Edible flowers? Little chilies that blow your head off?”  You asked.

“Yes to all of those things,” he agreed.  “But I’m hungry right now, so let's find something we can eat as we walk around.”

You found a place selling pastries and paninis and grabbed a sandwich each to eat as you strolled the markets. Bucky kept getting ideas for meals with every new stall.  Your reusable bags were soon filled with colorful tomatoes and chilies, purple carrots, rainbow chard, edible flowers, crusty bread, pickles bottled in Amish country, fresh herbs, raw honey and milk, and a selection of cured meats and cheeses. 

“I think we might have enough,” you said as Bucky started browsing punnets of fresh berries.

“We don’t have any fruit,” he argued.  Geo likes blueberries and I could make a mixed berry pie.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t argue with pie,” you said.

Bucky had selected a few punnets and his phone rang as he went to pay.  You took over for him as he answered the phone.

“Hey, Steve, what’s up?”  He said, pressing the phone to his ear.  “We’re at Union Square… Five minutes if I can get a cab…  Alright, see you soon.”

He hung up the phone and looked at you.  “Gonna have to go.  Steve said it’s urgent.”

“Good urgent or bad?”  You said, a familiar panic starting to close in around your heart like a snake.

“I don’t know. Come on,” he said, leading you back out of the markets. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

// NEXT

[rovinky]

thank you @sleepy-skittles i definitely needed this after yesterday's awfulness

I wasn't sure what to write for this at first but I think I finally figured it out - this is longer than I thought it would be oops, maybe I should put it on ao3 idk

Rovinsky + “this isn’t our actual first kiss but it is our first important kiss”

The first time he ever kissed Kavinsky it had been after a race.

Gansey hadn't wanted him to go but he'd been feeling an itch burn beneath his skin. He'd needed to crawl out of Monmouth and away from morality for the nighty came for him a second time, Ronan shoved him again, and again, and again, until his fingers curled in Kavinsky's tanktop and he dragged him in for a kiss. The taste of cigarette smoke and bitter alcohol swathed over his tongue and the smell still makes him a bit woozy even now.

After the first kiss, they'd parted and didn't speak of it again.

The second time he kissed Kavinsky had been during a substance party.

Gansey hadn't wanted him to go but he'd been feeling an itch burn beneath his skin. He'd needed to crawl out of Monmouth and away from morality for the night. He'd arrived at Kavinsky's party where he'd been asked to produce a substance.

"Here's your fucking substance, asshole," Ronan growled before laying a wet kiss on Kavinsky's mouth before he could protest.

He can still remember how the boys' jeered all around them. How Kavinsky's body stiffened and then relaxed in his arms. His own flushed reflection staring back at him in Kavinsky's mirrored shades when they parted.

For a second time, they parted and didn't bring it up again.

The third time he kissed Kavinsky had been in a dream.

They met in his dream space, standing together in the woods. Kavinsky had grinned at him, wild and boyish. His shades were gone and for once, Ronan couldn't tell if Kavinsky was inebriated. All he knew was he'd laughed and said, his voice teetering into derisive, "You want to kiss me so bad."

The worst part was Kavinsky was right. He rolled his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around Kavinsky's slim waist. He felt Kavinsky press something into his hand and when Ronan woke and could move again, he'd shifted his gaze to his palm to see what it held.

A small little orb hovered over his palm. Inside, Ronan could see galaxies swirl. Their own little secret.

The fourth time he kissed Kavinsky had been much later. After high school, after Adam graduated from Harvard, and when they both moved to Boston to chase Adam's career. He hadn't expected to see Kavinsky ever again after a falling out their senior year of high school. He never expected Joseph Kavinsky to become a part of his life again.

Boston wasn't exactly where he thought he would be calling home either but Adam had found a job in the city and Declan had moved in with his artist girlfriend Jordan in the same area. Despite his claims of hating Declan, Ronan could never quite shake his need to be around family.

So, Ronan made a life here.

At times, he would travel around to the country to escape the city's oppressive atmosphere, working on farms and volunteering his time at animal sanctuaries. He made friends with a girl named Hennessy on accident while Adam was at work. They hit it off when she hopped into his car and told him to drive, drive, drive.

Afterward, they ended up in the apartment he shared with Adam and she laughed hysterically when she found out his name. "Ronan Lynch?" she'd cackled. "Your Declan's brother."

They'd bonded even further when they both found out they were dreamers.

A night of dreaming left them both buzzing and wanting, feeling drunk without having to drink, they winded up in a tattoo shop. Proclaiming they would get matching tattoos, even if Ronan had no intention of letting anything on his body match someone else. Hennessy was taken off to one room and Ronan to another where he'd come face to face with a boy - now a man - he hadn't seen in six years.

Joseph Kavinsky gave him his second tattoo.

Joseph Kavinsky also gave him his third tattoo and fourth tattoo. Ronan kept returning for more ink and Kavinsky's talented hands.

"You want to kiss him again, don't you?" Adam had asked one night after Ronan spent hours talking about Kavinsky's shop.

Maybe he did but he quickly denied it. Adam only smiled at him; the kind of smile which left him feeling stripped despite being fully dressed.

"It's okay if you do," Adam whispered. "I'm secure in us."

Ronan returned for a sixth tattoo and they were at the shop until past closing. Kavinsky locked up once they were done and Ronan stole the fourth kiss. He pressed him against the BMW and kissed fast.

"What are you doing?" Kavinsky had asked.

He didn't know. They parted again for the fourth time but unlike the other times, this last one haunted him. It followed him around and entered his dreams.

Hennessy told him to just fuck Kavinsky and get it over with. Adam told him to ask Kavinsky on a date and get it over with. Gansey told him he really needed to focus on himself and get over it.

Ronan could not get over it.

Which is how he ended up standing out of Kavinsky's shop, staring at the Open sign, and trying to talk himself into walking in. It's been two weeks since their fourth kiss - not that he's been counting.

He takes a step closer to the shop and then backs off, before pacing back and forth in front of it, until the sound of the door opening makes him freeze and spin around. Kavinsky stands there, his head tilted to the side, looking ridiculously kissable in the afternoon sun.

"Lynch? What the hell are you doing?"

Ronan stammers, wishing he could formulate words but they're failing. He knows two languages and can't even formulate one sentence.

Kavinsky raises an eyebrow. "Is it your tattoo?"

"No," he finally manages. "No- the tattoo is great." He rubs the back of his neck, looking down at his scuffed combat boots. "K..."

"Yes?"

He wants to ask Kavinsky out but he has no idea how to do it. Of course, Adam had been the one to kiss him. Then, they'd just started being boyfriends; there had never been an 'asking out' process. Everything had just happened.

"Look, I have clients coming..." Kavinsky starts but Ronan steps in and kisses him again to shut him up.

There's a moment where Kavinsky stands there, stunned, not kissing him back but then they both relax into it and Kavinsy releases the door so they can step into each other's space. They kiss hungrily until they're both breathless and pulling away for air.

"Shit," Kavinsky gasps. He reaches up to touch his lips, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

Ronan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a matching miniature galaxy sphere and places it in Kavinsky's palm. "Text me."

Their parting less like shrapnel now and more like waves longing for the return to the shore.

A text comes later in the evening and Ronan practically dives for his phone which if Adam had been home, he'd be fairly embarrassed.

-> so about that kiss

Ronan's heart flutters as he types back, glad Kavinsky stole his number from his paperwork. Of course, he's never changed his number, maybe Kavinsky still had it from Before.

<- yea?

-> are you sure you want to do this? are you sure you want to get to know me? pretty sure you hated my guts at the end of hs

<- i did but tbf you were a piece of shit

-> thanks

<- so was i

-> we both were

<- i suck at apologies man so idk if you're wanting one or what

-> i'll take another kiss instead

<- when?

-> whenever you want to give it to me

Ronan chews his bottom lip and sends Kavinsky a final text, asking him to come over. He sends over his address and mentally makes a note to tell Kavinsky everything.

About Adam. About their life here. About their agreement. They can make it work.

The sixth time, arguably the first important time happens six months later. Sunday, the shop is closed, and they're standing in The Insitute of Contemporary Art, staring at artworks by an artist Hennessy is currently obsessing over. The rain outside is partially what drove them indoors to start with but Ronan supposes it kills two birds with one stone.

"I don't get it," Kavinsky says while he tilts his head back and forth.

"I don't think you're supposed to." Ronan turns away from the art so he can look at Kavinsky instead. He studies Kavinsky's profile, his sharp nose, and soft lips. The way his brow creases together while he looks at the painting.

"Pretty sure it's supposed to be about something important- Ronan-." Kavinsky gasps when Ronan turns him to face him. "You almost knocked me on my ass."

"You're fine," Ronan replies. He presses his forehead lightly to Kavinsky's, squeezing his hand where he holds Kavinsky's smaller one in his own. "I'm gonna say something and you're going to think I'm insane."

Kavinsky rolls his eyes. "Are you going to say you like this painting because it's fucking ugly."

"I love you."

Kavinsky blinks, clearly looking like he needs to reboot. "Excuse me?"

"I know it sounds insane but I do, I love you." Ronan blushes, wishing he hadn't spoken at all. Telling Adam he loved him had happened quickly and with ease because he knew it to be true. Now, he's standing at the precipice of loving someone else, someone he'd never expected to love but he does all the same.

"You don't have to say it back," he adds quickly. "I don't expect you to... I just wanted you to kno-." Ronan cuts off because Kavinsky is kissing him. They kiss in front of a Jeff Koons which he's sure Declan would shudder at and he knows Hennessy will laugh at. They kiss until Ronan feels dizzy and when they part, he almost has to sit down.

"Fuck," Ronan whispers.

Kavinsky's face is flushed and he clears his throat, slowly turning to look at the painting again but Ronan feels him squeeze his hand subtly. "So, what do you think this means again?"

Ronan smirks and squeezes back. "I think it fucking sucks but let's go ask Parrish."

Hearing Kavinsky laugh is enough to make everything worth it.

[cancerbiophd]

PhD Dissertation Masterpost of Advice and Resources*

*or at least what helped me when I was writing mine for a PhD in Cancer Biology in the US--so they may not apply to other fields and/or countries.

Firstly, what a PhD Dissertation and Defense process is like (for my program)

Always check your university’s graduate college’s dissertation formatting and guidelines. That should be your #1 rulebook to work off of. Download their formatting guide and read it thoroughly. Before turning in your dissertation, make sure you’ve addressed all the requirements. 

Get a sample from a previous student as reference, preferably one from your program, or even better, your lab. All dissertations are publicly available online at your university’s library (with the exception of those with embargoes). Always have an example on hand--you never know when it’ll come in handy for minor formatting details, or even references (if it’s a dissertation from your own lab). 

Familiarize yourself with whatever writing program you’re going to use, and if it can do any of the formatting automatically for you. For example, Microsoft Word can make a Table of Contents for you if you use their Automated Styles, and you can use the Navigation Pane to view all your sections at a glance (and jump instantly to that section). I highly recommend figuring out all the formatting before you start writing, as it may be really frustrating to go back and fix things (especially if you’re doing this on the due date). Scroll down to the end of this post for formatting resources. 

I think the ideal timeline is one month per chapter, give or take a few weeks depending on how much you have done beforehand and how much time you have per day to allocate to writing. There will be a lot of back-and-forth edits with your advisor, you may find out there are missing data that need analyzing/finalizing, etc. Your last month or so of writing may have to be dedicated 100% to your dissertation, so plan accordingly. I have heard many PhD’s tell me to even start a year out, because you may be busy your last couple of months with job interviews, or even starting your new job, etc. 

Export your images as .png if possible or your document will become too large. 

Use a citation manager, if you don’t have one already, such as Mendeley. 

Also have a way to keep track what each reference is about, especially for the Introduction as that may require some new additions (ie. things you learned in class or lab meeting but never actually had to chase down a primary reference for). You can use Excel, Word, or good ol’ fashioned printouts in subject binders--anything that helps you remember what the paper is about what. I ended up citing over 400 references in my dissertation--that was a lot of papers to keep track of!

As with any large writing project, make an outline first. This way you can better structure everything from a bird’s eye view, and make sure you’re not missing anything. Just like building a house, you need to set up the frames first before the drywall. The outline to my Introduction was 5 pages long before I even wrote the first complete sentence, and the outline also helped me not feel too overwhelmed with the task before me (likewise, I also started off each paragraph with a brief outline of the points I wanted to cover. It worked really well in getting rid of writer’s block)

Have a separate folder for each chapter, to keep things better organized and easier to manage. I didn’t put everything together in a single file until the very end. 

And always back up your files, or work entirely off a Cloud-based system, like Dropbox or Box (which your university may provide for free). There’s absolutely nothing worse than losing allll your hard work, especially your Dissertation! 

Set aside at least 1 hour before your Dissertation is due to your committee for last minute issues, like formatting, uploading, etc. 

If you’re in the Bio field, I highly recommend making your figures using Biorender.com. It honestly saved me so much time, and it took my dissertation and defense to a whole new level of professionalism. It’s free to use for students, though the paid student version ($35/mo) has more features. 

Links to other resources:

University of Michigan guide for using Microsoft Word for Dissertations

Dissertation templates (with build-in-instructions) from Duke University (scroll down to end of page) (thanks @conquerorwurm for this one)

Making an outline from Sacred Heart University

More about making an outline for Dissertations

Other tips on surviving this challenging time:

Write smart, not hard. Use your energy and creativity levels wisely. For example, I found out I was really great at synthesizing thoughts (and thus words on the document) in the morning, but not so much at night. So I did most of my writing in the morning, and then reserved evenings for making figures and adding references (aka things that required less brain-energy).

Take breaks! This is definitely a marathon, so please try not to push yourself too hard to prevent burning out. Here’s what my writing schedule looked like 1 week before my dissertation was due to my committee--you can see I worked hard, but I also had lots of breaks throughout the day to eat and/or recharge, and I tried to sleep 7-8 hrs/night. 

The moment you think you can’t do something alone, seek out a resource that will help you. There’s no time or energy to waste. Resources include: your advisor, another lab member, a university writing center, online tutorials, even other grad students on tumblr. No one else has written a dissertation on their own, so you shouldn’t have to either. 

Have a support system, like another fellow student going through something similar who you can talk to. It helps so much to not be lonely during this. 

Have something fun planned after you turn in your dissertation and after you defend to look forward to. Sometimes all that was left to get me through the tough and frustrating moments was the thought of all my plans post-defense: going to my favorite used bookstore, reading for fun again, relaxing and watching movies, and more. Small things, but oh so powerful to keep me going sometimes. 

You will get through this. I know it’s hard. I know how close to tears you are. But I also know you will survive. Remember all those tough times in the past? Like when you were studying for your qualifying exams? Or writing and re-writing that grant application for what seemed like the 500th time? Those were some tough times, but you got through them all. And so you will also get through this.

And lastly, but probably most importantly:

Do what works for you. You haven’t made it this far in your academic career without a solid understanding of your own working style, so stick to that. My advice is just what happened to work for me, personally, and thus may not apply to anyone else. 

Good luck, and congratulations, soon-to-be Dr!