#them! i also didnt see exactly from the beginning i dont think but i saw like 98% of it. very fun

[carcarrot]

favorite first watches of july 2024

tagged by @mariocki thank you!!!!!

them! (1954)

the adventures of buckaroo banzai across the 8th dimension (1984)

the long and the short and the tall (1961)

columbo "last salute to the commodore" (1976)

galaxina (1980)

the spy with a cold nose (1966)

also tagging @bawnjourno @starringvincentprice @baycitystygian and uhhh any other mutuals who are movieheads. say you were tagged by me!!

[liquidstar]

I've seen a lot of people in the Re:zero community hate puck with a passion and call him a hypocritical toxic father, and a good portion of them accuse him of deliberately mentally abusing Emilia so that she can be a naive pretty doll with no sense of independence and always obey him unconditionally.

How do you feel about that?

i dont think theyre wrong per say but i also do think puck genuinely loved emilia a lot- i dont think this is something up for debate. he will literally end the world if she dies. but is that what she would want??? i highly doubt it. emilia is a girl who would die for a world that has been nothing but cruel to her.

puck was never really meant to be a father, like, thats not what he was made for. hes the beast of the end not the beast of paternal love. but thats also something about him i find compelling, because he changed so much of himself because he loved this girl so much. his mentality is literally "if anything happens to her ill kill everyone in the world and then myself"

but he does baby her. extremely so. and he does treat her like a doll. remember part of their contract is literally that he does her hair, and thats why she chops off in greed:if as an act of rebellion (normal teen girl behavior honestly). he also literally never told her what sex is- shes 17 and she had no clue, and its played off as a joke at first, but subaru's "damn you puck" rings so true.

remember in wrath:if it was puck who pitched a deal with suabru to keep emilia trapped in the "princess room" away from all the danger. the whole princess room thing (in wrath:if and also in her childhood) is symbolic of her loss of autonomy in a lot of ways, especially when you remember she's NOT a princess. she's a candidate to be a KING!

and there are more damning things within their contract too, like how she literally wasnt allowed to SEE HER OWN FACE! its not made super clear in the anime, but whenever she looks at reflections she actually doesnt see anything back (not because she doesnt have one, but that she herself isnt perceiving it. and i think a lot of this also comes back to the self-recognition theme of the story, the whole reflections though eyes motif and all. remember how much of her we saw reflected only through subaru's eyes? she doesnt actually see her own reflection until she jumps inside the lake in the trial)

but i think thats also a big part of why he broke her contract with her to begin with. i think he knows she hasnt been allowed to grow up, that shes been overly babied, isolated, and kept away from things that might potentially make her feel bad. including her past, and even her present and future... breaking the contract off all at once isnt a good way to do this, i mean, her mental breakdown was so emblematic of that. but i think its important to look at what it all means for the meta narrative.

the latter half of arc 4 was absolutely emilia's arc, and a lot of it was her sort of growing up. i dont think cold turkey is a great way for a parental figure to do this to their child, but emilia was so incredibly dependent. and a lot of that was because puck MADE her dependent to begin with. for so much of her life she literally only had him... like. she was all alone in complete isolation in a frozen forest for as far back as she can remember, and everyone in the world hated her for reasons she didnt understand, and all she had was this little cat thing to be her friend. OF COURSE shes dependent on him, and of course she thinks she cant do stuff on her own (shes so fucking scared of being alone), and i think puck sort of depended on this mindset to keep her a "child" for as long as possible

but she had to grow up eventually. she's 18, maybe almost 19 by this point of the story (still unclear exactly which month we're in) and this is just as much her coming of age story as it is subaru's. (but speaking of subaru puck also guilt trips him quite a bit about emilia's deaths, even when he himself is "gone at the most important times" in emilia's words, which is not only hypocritical but also manipulative!)

all this being said i seriously love puck as a character because when he was first introduced i was like "oh god. annoying mascot character. boring" and then the beast of the end reveal happened and i was like "oh so this is going in the kyubey ripoff direction. i guess that makes sense for a dark fantasy but idrc" BUT THEN he actually ends up being like. an actual character w a lot of depth and nuance to him, a lot of it being how incredibly fucking sketchy he actually is but in a completely different way than just "evil twist mascot." between him and matsumoto from vivy, i love how tappei handles mascot characters- theyre a really hard thing to get right w/o being annoying LOL.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

out of interest, how do you think izaya developed aspd and npd? i know that pds typically develop as a result of trauma so i suppose his parents always being absent would be a factor but id also like to hear your thoughts on it. love the aspd izaya headcanon btw

first off, thank u!

and secondly, his parents being absent would definetley be a factor. i read somewhere that its actually children whove been neglected that are more likely to develop aspd rather than children who are abused, because the complete LACK of stimului contributes to aspd more than bad stimuli does. take this with a grain of salt though because my source is "i saw it somewhere" and im 90% sure that place was NOT a study so it might be wrong

but either way, both pds are known to be caused by trauma and both have a genetic component to them. the genetic component isnt SUPER well known, but it IS known that there's a hereditery component here

so honestly? i think izaya was born with antisocial tendencies. NOT aspd, i must stress- at a very young age, if he was given adequate support and treatment, they could've stayed tendeicies and he wouldn't have developed fullblown aspd. he couldve turned out like one of those guys with a bit of a skewed morality system but is otherwise mentally healthy enough to participate in society without wanting to kill himself or others. quirks over disorder

but from pretty much every account i can think of, izaya was ALWAYS an odd child, to the point where it was his father that instilled a love of humanity into him

When he was younger, I saw he was distant from others, and that made me worried. And so I wanted him to come to like humans and become a man who could strongly love people twice as others would. (source)

of course this isnt exactly very detailed wrt izayas behavior, but if its enough that his absent father noticed, it mustve been pretty serious

so wrt his aspd, i think he was born with those kinds of tendencies, which were then exasperated by the neglect and ergo got worse and worse over the years, culminating in high school with his friendship with shinra, blackmailimg of nakura, and his beginning to poke his nose in the underground

his npd is a bit trickier

so, the way i personally developed npd is that my mom would seem to have two perceptions of me in her head, depending on wether or not i was following the Good Perception or not. the first me, the good one, was intelligent, kind, and filled with potential. the other one was a stupid lazy monster. i was the good one, up until i did anything she didnt like, then i was the bad one. these two ideas getting fed into me led to me clinging onto the Good Perception as how i really was, and if something even for a second made me slip, i'd crash down from total egoism to total repulsion. And It Sucked!

(disclaimer: do not armchair diagnose my mother. i have my theories but they will stay private and i absolutely do not want a STRANGER butting into this, especially when they could know less abt mental illness than me and thus spread misinformation)

now, i dont think izaya's parents were like my mom- but there was still a dichotomy at play here. he would go to school, where he would be a smart student and praised by his teachers, even if he kept to himself. then, he'd go home, and be alone. as he got older, it only got worse- humans are social creatures, and we don't take well to being lonely. the mind starts to cope with it however it can.

as izaya started to venture deeper into the underground, he couldve started to develop a superiority complex about it. see, look- he's smarter than everyone. better than everyone. that's why he's alone, its because he's too good to be around them. not because he's worse. he's better.

because, especially once he gets to high school age... izaya is smart. izaya is perceptive. izaya would be able to tell that there's something different about him, and that's why people avoid him and he avoids them. there's something wrong with him in a way that's repulsive and unpalatable to most. that'd wreck a kid's self-image, especially a neglected kid's, since he'd already have low self-image from, yk, the neglect

and the dichitomy of the low and high self-image makes him develop npd- the ego masks the low self esteem, but both are equally felt and true, its not like his egoism and god complex are fake- it's all very real, he feels it all and believes it genuinely, and he clings onto it because if he slips, he KNOWS where he's gonna plummet

anyway thats just my take on it!! "it was his childhood" is prolly a boring answer but honestly a lot of mental illness has that answer at the root of it. art imitates life and all

[nutzworth]

today begins my homestuck reread. i wanted to start it yesterday january 1, 2024 but i got busy. so we begin today

PREFACE: i wanted to download the unofficial collection and read it thus, but it didnt WORK cus of my accursed mac. so. im on the unofficial collection website. also i debated on how exactly to do my liveblogging and decided on actually liveblogging in my friend's discord server and then translating the day's reading to text on tumblr. so!

DAY 1: JANUARY 2, 2024

STATS: read for ~3 hours pages read: 1-381. 380 pages slur count: 3. john, rose, dave. all r slur silly count: 3. jade, rose, rose. jade about dave; rose about herself piss count: 1/3. howie mandel strikes again

THOUGHTS:

ive found a lot of overlooked aspects of especially john and dave. whether or not these are "i never noticed she was holding corn on the plate!" encanto aspects or not is undecided. people tend to interpret john as having eaten cake his whole LIFE when instead it was just on 4/13 because it was his birthday. dave has A BUNCH of ironic blogs and websites that he never shows. ive only seen sbahj and his personal blog so that was kind of a shocker to me. thats all the overlooked aspects i guess lol in addition to john talk: all of his dad's harlequin merchandise is soooo cute. i wouldnt be annoyed if my dad put all this harlequin stuff in my house theyre so silly and bright dave is REALLY ANNOYING. i kind of forgot. he sounds so different from how he sounds later in the comic and how he does in my head. he does a rap in the pages i read and the first part was good but the second part was bad. rose and her relationship with her mom is JUST like me fr...... ugh. rose is so me but if i was like way pettier. something about them strikes me. mommy issues i guess. being spiteful towards your mother when your mother is just trying her best. something. oh well i was thinking about the strilondes and their conceptions of irony and its been affecting how i interpret the text. dirk and rose get irony; dave and roxy do not. dave tries to mimic what he sees in bro, but only scratches the surface of true mind games. he fails at being ironic, though he is cool i guess (for other reasons). rose interprets her mother's vaccuuming as an "ironic housewife routine" which broke my heart. rose gets irony; roxy does not. (this is also how their one-sided passive aggressive one-upmanship operates. rose is ironic; roxy is not). ive also been keeping track of the times in canon which is also corn on the plate level but whatever. johns doing this all at FIVE PM. brother thats dinner time for me. a meteors coming for you and youre playing this game and suddenly youre in another dimension and its FIVE THIRTY! ugh. daves like oh man i gotta fight my bro to get a sburb game to save my buddy rose and its like SEVEN PM! jesus! so night time. some dirk and dave mirrors: manbro bukkake theater. didnt notice dave said that?!??! ben stiller instead of rainbow dash above the closet door. awesome. sylladexes and fetch modii are crazy and i think its so interesting how hussie focuses on them so much in these first acts. i saw something a while ago about how fetch modii mirror people's thought processes and thought it was cool. dave thinking STOP! = 7 and then that releasing his sword (in 7 spot) was really cool. i love fetch modii they make no sense also some pages havent been working and its kind of driving me up the wall :-/ some flashes dont have sound and daves sound mixer DIDNT WORK AT ALL! but thats fine rather that than one of the gaming flashes where you walk around.

think thats it for today. thanks everypony

[staarry-skies]

— usagis jealousy during bmc, and if it really is just that? a meta

(read more bc i anticipate this getting very long)

before we talk about bmc lets set the stage a bit: usagi has just defeated the dark kingdom no more than a week ago (its unclear how much time passes btwn the two arcs but i can’t imagine its longer than a week, or even a couple days, as we see usamamo exchange their keepsakes at the end of act 14, something they promised they’d do the next time they saw each other during act 8, which means that this must be the first time theyve seen each other since defeating the dark kingdom, which again, i cant imagine took longer than a couple days) which means she has just experienced: watching her boyfriend die in front of her, being overloaded with a host of tragic memories from her past life (one of them including watching her boyfriend die and killing herself), her boyfriend getting brainwashed, having to kill her boyfriend because there was no getting through to him, killing herself due to the aforementioned trauma, and finally finding out her friends died— sacrificing themselves for her to bring her back. so thats all Crazy we can agree that is crazy for a 14 year old girl to go through? right? okay? good.

now that we’ve agreed on that can you imagine a little girl falling out of a large portal in the sky then threatening you with a GUN (fake sure but she didnt know that originally) and demanding you hand over the overpowered magical artifact you JUST endured all that trauma trying to protect? and then that same girl brainwashes your family? obviously usagi isnt going to trust chibiusa right away. i mean look at what she’s working with, and then when she tries to bring up these concerns no one believes her. i mean sure WE as the audience know chibiusa isnt a threat, and the others think she isnt because they cant see a little girl as particularly threatening but when you look at things from usagis perspective, then OBVIOUSLY she’d be suspicious— i mean she repeatedly refuses to answer any sort of questions (obviously this is not chibiusas fault, shes a scared child and the questioning terrifies her further, but again, think about this from usagis perspective). and again id like to reiterate that all of this is directly after the dark kingdom, usagi hasn’t had any time to heal from those fresh fresh emotional scars Of Course she’s a bit irrational.

now, to the topic at hand, was usagis jealousy really just that? regular jealousy at seeing mamoru spending time with someone who isnt her (even if the person in question was a small child that logically posed no threat to her relationship)?

obviously i dont think so, but let me prove to you its not just simple irrational jealousy but also usagis ptsd and specifically her abandonment issues that are what cause her to react in the way she does.

again, id like to remind the jury of the shit usagi has just gone through and how that all has caused usagi to develop some very serious abandonment issues. we see usagis worst fear(s) represented in nightmare sequences a handful of times throughout the series. exactly twice actually, once in infinity and once in dream and each have the shared theme of her loved ones leaving her in some way. in infinity they turn against her and berate her before ultimately dying, and in dream they’re simply dead. again both times it is very clear that the root of what she fears is abandonment.

these abandonment issues however, first begin to present themselves in arc 2. we even get a nightmare sequence in arc 2 similar to those of arcs 3&4. most interpret this as usagi just being jealous usagi. however really look at it, its not that she’s just afraid of mamoru being taken away by chibiusa, she’s afraid of them both abandoning her. look at what she says “wait! where are you going? dont leave me behind!” (or “wait! where are you going? dont leave me here!” in the eternal edition, i prefer the crystal translation simply because it makes it more explicit her issue is them leaving her alone) if it truly truly was an issue of jealousy why would she be afraid of them both leaving her behind? why say something like that? wouldnt it make more sense to say something like…. i dunno “chibiusa? dont take him from me!” instead?

once again, everything she goes through in arc 1 is a big contributor in this, however recall arc 2 begins with the senshi being picked off one-by-one (all except minako), and usagi can do nothing but watch and it eats her up inside. she quite literally begins to lose everyone dear to her all over again even while the last time is still so fresh in her mind.

and during most of this what does chibiusa do? she stays secretive, doesnt give usagi any information even when usagi tells her she cant trust her if she doesnt. (again i wanna reiterate that this is no fault of chibiusas however its not usagis fault either) so of course usagi begins to register chibiusa as a threat, and again with the information she has + her inarguable connection to the black moon clan this isnt a logical leap in the slightest.

thus when mamoru begins to spend more time with chibiusa instead of her it causes two things to happen. a) usagi is left without the emotional support she desperately needs in all of this (through no fault of mamoru, he completely misreads what usagi needs in this particular situation, he thinks that by helping with chibiusa it’ll ease her stress to have one less thing off her plate, however of course we know this does the opposite) and b) she begins to register chibiusa as a genuine threat to mamorus safety. usagis terrified of losing him all over again when she just got him back. look at this scene, i mean really truly look at it. look at what usagis saying, this doesnt sound like the ramblings of a jealous girlfriend it sounds like someone who’s terrified of losing their most important person all over again. “stay here with me. never go away. ill do everything i can to protect you…” (or “…i wanna be with you. dont go away. ill protect you with everything i have” in crystal, here i prefer the eternal edition again bc i think it more explicitly defines usagis problem) these lines just don’t make sense under the simple jealousy interpretation, what does protecting him have anything to do with envy at the time hes spending with chibiusa and not with her? nothing. shes not upset at that, she puts emphasis on protecting him because thats the true root of the problem, shes afraid of losing him again to yet another supernatural threat after the crystal.

and to close out id like to show everyone the viz dub version of this scene because i think it sums up my points incredibly well, as well as making it abundantly clear what the root of usagis problems Really are, specifically through the inclusion of the line “i wont lose you again”

[enjoyedthatchair]

FYI the reason people assumed Chongo was not close to trans women/did not assume best faith is that he degendered a trans woman, his recollection of her post was notably more malicious than the original content, and because of how much of the notes consisted of people who were actively comparing egg jokes to misgendering. As well as the general way in which egg joke discourse tends to be heavily inflected by transmisogyny to begin with.

(about this) while i get this, i still think that the fact this was the default reaction is pretty telling on how discourse can completely warp an otherwise innocuous post about a small frustration Some Guy had about a post he misremembered made by someone whose gender he did not know into "hes purposefully misgendering and misrepresenting a trans woman".

its also worth noting that the reason his recollection of her post was notably more malicious is due to her replies on said original post, which... cmon, those were pretty bad. if this was just joking amongst friends i would have no problem with OP and would even think that chongo shoulda been more lenient, but the fact that its not and shes worried her friend might find it is just extremely uncomfortable. maybe im biased as a non-binary person who doesnt use exclusively they/them pronouns on the gringo side of the worldwide web, but comments like these made behind the targets back just leave a bad taste in my mouth. speaking of not respecting non-binary people who use anything other than exclusively they/them pronouns, didja see she tweeted this?

im starting to think this woman doesnt respect peoples identity. this isnt a gotcha btw, i think your message is earnestly trying to be insightful and as i said in the beginning: i totally get how chongos original post could be misconstrued, specially if you engage with this discourse a lot. chongo does too. but i seriously believe there was nothing wrong with chongos original post, just as there was nothing wrong with epistemophagys original post. chongos post didnt link to epistemophagy in any way, it wouldve never reached her if people didnt extract the worst possible message from it, and therefore couldve never caused her any harm. you could make the argument that his post could lead to transmisoginy, as it adds to egg joke discourse, but frankly i dont see it. "can we not?" isnt exactly a compelling rhethorical argument and chongo had no reason to believe his post would reach anyone beyond his (very pro-trans) audience. if someones being transmisoginistic in the reblogs of that post its not on chongo and most of the reblogs i saw just said something to the effect of "yeah those jokes make me kinda uncomfortable too". thank you for explaining where people on the other side of things are coming from, i hope you can understand where im coming from. stay cool, anon!

[loser-jpg]

if there’s one thing i’m good at, it’s asking questions- seriously, give me a minute and i’ll come up with questions you didn’t even think to think about call me ?? anon shdhdhdh

anyway, care to elaborate on dee and leona’s relationship? how did dee see the beastman at first, how did he realize he started having feelings, etc?

ohhh boy oh boy. leodee is prime example of 'i cannot fucking stand this guy' to 'holy shit i would kill for him'

so the first meeting is in the garden when dee steps on his tail, and dee is obviously sorry for this but shortly after leona does that thing in canon where he sniffs the prefect finding out they have no magic. when this happens dee gets the biggest ick. like fully cringes and gives leona the dirtiest look because hes like 'did you just fucking sniff me???' and when leona right after starts spouting his egotistical nonsense dee decides right there he fucking hates him. and he continues to hate him for quite a bit of time right up until around leonas overblot. going through the events of book 2 dee learns more about leona and gains a bit of insight onto just how smart and cunning he is. for dee strategical intelligence is an extremely attractive quality, so even though dee finds leonas plan petty and pathetic to stoop so low as to cheat, he begrudgingly admires the craftiness that went into it. at the same time dee is also starting to realize leonas ego isnt just hot air, and that its actually based in leonas actual talent. you can hate a prideful character all you want but its a bit harder when theyre able to back that pride up with skill. then when leona overblots and dee learns about his past he immediately is hit with a wave of sympathy. dee had an older sister, one who often he was overshadowed by, and he has experience with being ignored in favor of others, so he fully understands what it feels like to be the second choice. realizing that leonas acting out was from a place of being essentially bullied by the adults in his life, and being proved time and again that any effort wouldnt lead to what he wanted, dee couldnt hate him for the petty reasons he did at the beginning. it took a while for him to get used to leonas ego, but after the overblot all dee could really feel for leona was sympathy and understanding. through book 3 dee starts to gain huge amounts of respect and admiration for leona. book 2 essentially broke down any assumptions dee had about leona, while book 3 built his perception of leona from the ground up. being shown how leona leads savanaclaw (the few times he actually does lmao) and being shown again leonas strategic mind made dee start to really admire those qualities about him. what he saw he felt was natural qualities of the leader and king leona wanted so badly to be, and even though he was never going to be king, dee saw that leona still had all those qualities, and that even if leona said there was no point in putting in effort if he was never going to get what he wanted, in a way he was still working toward that goal even if unattainable. leona was still leading people and earning their respect through his leadership even if he didnt get to be king, and he was doing it all almost subconsciously. so by the end of book 3 dee was pretty whipped.

all of dees feelings are based entirely out of an intense respect for leona and just general admiration for how much of an intelligent leader he is. i dont think itd really be a sort of 'falling in love' pipeline, but much more a growing respect that sort of just got so intense that once romantic feelings started to form you could barely tell the difference lmao. leona and dees relationship is entirely built off of respect. obviously any relationship is but for them its like, in every little detail of their relationship. both have had experiences of feeling not respected by people around them, and both have a clear understanding of exactly how much respect a person deserves, and how the level of respect they were treated with in the past was unfair. i feel like dee would have to work a lot harder to gain leonas respect, but given how much he admired leona he definitely wanted leona to respect him too. he wanted to be on equal footing to leona, he wanted to be his partner and other half, not just an accessory or someone who could be seen as lower. he was fully aware how much work he would have to put in to be seen with the level of respect he wanted from leona, and he would not back down.

[twicesserafim]

After Breakup Jealousy

Third Person Pov:

Sana broke up with you a little over 3 weeks ago because you guys had distanced, which was true but the worst part of it was that you were a member of twice and you're currently on tour, with Sana.

You made solo music as well, kinda of like nayeons solo thing but it's been since the beginning so 2015-2016 ish. You always preformed one song at the end, half of the time twice was on stage with you, the other half of the time they weren't.

In this case, they weren't. Honestly, you blamed yourself for part of you and Sana breaking up, you would say that you didnt give her enough attention or more like, you let her go. And you both just gave up on fighting so you let go.

Which is where a song in your new album came from. It was a heartbreak album, you were already writing it before you and sana broke up, because your concept was always stages in a love story/love life line.

(The song you're performing Be alright by dean lewis the acoustic guitar version, you were singing but also playing the guitar) The song was about cheating but half of it still applied to Sana.

The lyrics were translated from english to korean on the screen back stage where the members were watching, you and sana had a 3 year difference, you were still the maknae.

All of the members cared for you, a lot. they still saw you as a baby, they weren't mad at sana because it wasn't her fault but they couldn't exactly say they were happy with the situation.

The last minute of the song, your voice got a little shaky but you kept yourself together, blinking away a few tears that were in your eyes. all of the members felt bad, it was obvious.

A few were bitting their bottom lips, inside of their cheeks and some even pouting at the sight and the lyrics. You acted as if everything was okay, even the members were shocked, they couldn't see your face when you were singing because you barely looked up.

You didn't look like you were crying. You didn't look heartbroken, you didn't look upset. you just looked like.. you. Once the song ended you went backstage. You could feel everyone's eyes on you.

Tzuyu was very rarely touchy with the members, you were like her. But the thing is you two are the same age and have similar heights, you're taller by a little more than an inch.

You two weren't touchy but you were each other's source of comfort. So tzuyu immediately grabbing your wrist and pulled you into her lap. Tzuyu wrapped her arms around your waist.

Resting her head on your shoulder. "you okay? how're you feeling?" "i'm okay" "you sang moral of the story yesterday and you sang be alright today, i don't think you're okay" Tzuyu mumbled as you sighed.

"i could be better, but i could also be worst." "when was the last time you slept?" "uh, few days ago, i think?" You felt a glare coming your way so you turned your eye and met Sana's eyes.

You looked away, turning back to tzuyu. You were both saying this quietly so none of the members could hear plus they were having a conversation of their own. "up thinking about her?" "mhm"

Tzuyu just nodded with a slightly sigh, she pulled you off her lap, laying down on the sofa, patting the spot beside her, you lied down beside her, tzuyu just held you, rubbing small circles on your back.

Until the two of you slowly drifted off to sleep. "guys.." Mina whispered as she pointed to the two sleeping figures on the couch above them, sana scoffed looking at the two of you.

"you aren't aloud to be jealous, sana. you broke up with her." "i know okay? i know. i broke up with her because we distanced but it does not! it does not mean i don't love her, more than anyone or anything in the world."

"then why break up?" "i dont know. i felt like we would've been better off as friends but you can't be friends with someone you're in love with" "at least you know, but it seems like it's too late, she seems pretty into tzuyu"

"yeah, the only person she was this touching with was you when she liked you and when you were dating" "well don't point it out? i'm talking to her when she wakes up." "don't even try, they seem so into each other."

"no. i'm not losing her" Sana mumbled as jihyo let out a sarcastic chuckle. "you already did." those words made sana's heart sting. She glared at jihyo before just grabbing you and pulling you of tzuyu. Pulling you to the changing room and locking the door.

"sana? i can't do this right now, im still like half asl-" "do you like tzuyu?" sana cut you off as you rubbed your eyes in confusion, "what?" "you and tzuyu, are you guys like- together? do you like her?"

You looked at her with so much confusion causing her to slowly get frustrated, "just tell me, are you and tzuyu a thing? do. you. like. her." "what? no?" "to which one?" "both!" "then why're you so close? you slept on the couch together while cuddling"

"maybe because she was the main person that was there when you broke my heart. You were the one the broke up with me. why are you jealous?" "i'm not jealous?" "still the same as you were, huh? you're always denying that you're jealous when you obviously are"

"i'm not jealous, y/n" "okay then what if i-" you got cut off by sana smashing her lips against yours, "mm?!" you yelled, you couldn't help but melt in her touch, you were so used to it.

It took a few seconds, neither of you dated to pull away but air was a problem and you guys had to split. "i'm sorry" she whispered, you could feel her breath fan against your lips since she was resting her forehead against yours.

"for what?" "breaking up with you and getting jealous of how close you were with tzuyu, and just- everything. i love you, so much, take me back? please?" you just nodded as sana pressed her lips against yours again.

"you better not do that again because next time, i wont take you back as easily" "i'm never doing that again" "promise?" "promise."   

...

A/n:

idk i don't like this but wtv

[alfredsolos]

hi! i saw a few of ur posts n it looks like u know a bunch abt the canon right? (of batman comics sorry for the confusion). was wondering if ud be able to help me with something.

im trying to write a fic for a friend, as a surprise, abt dick being in a time loop the day before the shit's hitting the fan with tarantula and blockbuster. but i didnt read the comics from that time, just a fuck ton of fanfics abt it, and i know she did, and i want to get my facts as accurate as possible.

what can u tell me abt that time? like, i know babs and dick broke up, but how and why exactly? or, idk, i cant think of exact questions rn, but if u r willing to run down the timeline of that time period with me (like even going way far back, like from the moment blockbuster started to act and/or the moment tarantula showd up) id be so grateful. or even if you could tell me which issues to read, even that would be super helpful! (i know 93 is where everything happens for realz but i dont knwo how far back i should go. tried starting from 88 but felt like im missing a lot of things)

Okay, Nightwing (1996) is a rollercoaster of emotions and trauma. So I will summarize it the best I can and talk about some important stuff that happened to him.

Dick goes to Bludhaven to find a purpose and be someone more than a sidekick. But it's tough since Bludhaven is pretty shitty. And through out his comic, we see him deal with it while trying to battle his own demons.

Blockbuster shows up pretty early in this run. He makes an official appearance in #7. He is basically a mob boss and wants the title of Prince of Bludhaven, which was given to Dick. They fight and we find out some things about Blockbuster.

He is unnaturaly large and has a genius level IQ. So it's clear from the start that he will be a tough opponent. Doubled with his super strength, Dick has a hard time beating him. But in the end Blockbuster takes him into a choke hold and we see Dick pass out.

After that, he wakes up and goes after him. But Blockbuster is already gone.

At #9 Dick busts an operation with two-face in it. But eventually gets gassed with Scarecrows fear gas.

This was very hard to read. Because for a whole issue we experience his nightmares alongside him. With Donna, Batman, Tim, Barbara, His parents, Jason Todd and so on.

He gets better of course but he still ocassionally has nightmares.

At #12 Batman makes an appearance, and they go after Blockbuster together. But Dick has a hard time due to feeling insecure about being Batman's sidekick. More specifically with Batman by his side, he feels more like a sidekick than his own hero. So Dick tries to prove to both himself and Bruce that he is capable.

They find Blockbuster and Dick goes after him while Batman deals with his lackeys. Dick uses the small space as his advantage eventually beats him. This however is not the end. We will keep seeing him for a long while.

During this we see a lot of villains make an appearance like Deathstroke, Lady Shiva, Man Bat KGBeast and so on. He battles them and proves once again that he is worthy of being his own hero.

During the entire comic, Barbara is present. She is a constant reassurence to him and at the beginning they have a very sweet relationship.

Tim Drake also makes appearance from time to time. We see them get along splendidly, ocassionally teaming up to fight crime and go train surfing.

Through the end of #31, we see him go to Police Academy and train.

After that Blockbuster, again, makes another appearance. He is trying to track Oracle, because she keeps ruining his operations. This gets very dangerous for Babs, and we even see her write a will incase she dies.

During this, Blockbuster kidnappes Dick and has his lackeys inject some kind of tranq into him. Which makes it harder to escape.

In the end, he gets saved by Cisco Blane.

Blockbuster, however has a secret. He is very sick. And he needs a transplant. So he again backs out of the spotlight.

Dick continues to protect Bludhaven with all he has. Sometimes, with help. For a while everything is fine.

But then comes #75, which brings Tarantula with it. In her first appearance, she tries to be a vigilante like Nightwing. And we can clearly see her attraction towards him.

During these times, Babs and Dick's relationship is a bit rocky. They don't yell or fight, but we can see that a case of miscommunication is present. This increases with Catalina's (Tarantula) appearance.

After fighting together with Tarantula, Dick tries to make some boundries and rules. The most prominent one being No Killing. Tarantula doesn't like that, and an argument breaks out. In the end, Catalina tells him that they are enemies now.

Babs, dealing with the stress that is Catalina, does not like that Dick is a cop. She is worried about him and does't want him to be in the line of fire 24/7.

Deathstroke comes along and everything turns to being more shitty. Dick and Babs's relationship is getting worst and Dick breaks some police rules to deal with everything. In the end his captain, Amy, fires Dick.

Babs is happy and Dick is sad. Because he really luked being a cop. But the situation with Tarantula gets worst and worst. Eventually Blockbuster kidnappes Catalina and asks her to destroy Nightwing.

Babs, sick of Catalina and Dick's weird relationship, expresses that she wants to end the relationship. Which happens after Dick makes a joke about Joker and his own injury.

They haven't really broke up yet, because next issue we see them go out on a date. Which Catalina ruins by showing up and trying to fight them. She kisses Dick on the lips before disappearing. Dick and Babs continue their date but through the end they have an argument and they oficially break up.

Then it is revealed that, this was Tarantula's plan all along. When Blockbuster told her to desteoy Nightwing, she could have killed his girlfriend. But that would cause Babs to stay in Dick's mind forever and would only make him angry. So she decides to break them up. And take Dick for herself.

After their break up, they still talk but not as close as before. And they eventually face off Blockbuster once and for all.

Blockbuster hates Dick for letting his mother die. Dick however does not take that bullshit of an excuse as a reason for all those horrible things he has done.

Later on, Dick visits a friend of his called Maxine. But Blockbuster follows him to her place and shoots her in the head.

Dick, furious, attacks Blockbuster while starting to hyperventilate. Dick is almost in a daze and does not pull his punches. He beats Blockbuster in the end but Tarantula comes out and points a gun at Blockbuster. She shots him dead.

This causes Dick to have a panic attack and he manages to pull himself on a rooftop. Catalina follows him and ends up raping him while he begs her to not touch him.

After this, however, they get into some kind of relationship. They continue going on patrols together, but the relationship does not work out. They end up fighting and Catalina shoots him on the shoulder. Despite his injuries, Dick takes her down.

This comic is very long (over 100 issues) and it wasn't really possible for me to go into more in depth details about it. So there are probably things that I've missed, or may have mixed up. If so please correct me. I hope this is helpful. And good luck on your fic!

[calmingpi]

This isnt an unboxing vid but rather an unboxing description. A review, i guess, of volume 20. I think i did a kickstarter backing when i was like 12 or possibly 14, which was also when i took the resulting book to my therapists office and ranted about gg for like twenty minutes, but my mom backed it that time and i didnt get nearly as much Stuff as i did this time

So, first off:

I have multiple copies of beetleburg clank as it happens, but theyre either pdf or black and white on newsprint so this is easily the highest quality print copy ive got. IT LOOKS GREAT! Obviously i love the first volume cause thats the first one i read and i was soooooo obsessed with the art when i saw it as a kid. One of the best things about the big paperbacks is being able to see harder to read details like the honk lessons in the bg, for instance. Weirdly though, some of the panels with gil look really different than i remember? I may have to cross reference them to see if im crazy (im probably crazy)

Also, cheyennes coloring is really so good in volume one! I really love the subtlety that was put into it, and also i think he should do more monochrome sometimes. The way he uses value is great to begin with

No real comment on the story cause like, its beetleburg clank. I was there. In beetleburg. It was rad and i have no notes. The inclusion of the side story is also really fun. I remember this one from the website, and i wasnt really expecting it in the paperback for some reason

Volume twentyyyyyy! LOOKS GORGEOUS! Absolutely delighted. Money well spent. Fascinated that trogulus has a character entry and not rakethorne. Or kjarl, for that matter!

Something i think is interesting is how the pages kinda fly by when theyre uploaded one at a time. Most of this book really is the exorcism, and then we get the seadwellers. A lot of pages covering a relatively short amount of time in canon. In general i tend to forget how much has actually been posted until i look up something for reference, and realized i have to crawl through like twenty pages to find the one im looking for, lol

Even so, the amount of actual story being covered hits on some really good plot points in this volume. Weve got BOTH exorcisms, a lot of godqueen shenanigans, ardsley (rest in peace, darling), seadwellers, kjarl nonsense, oggie backstory, higgs backstory, and overall just a lot of answers and obviously more questions. And i like that it ends with the martellus & seffie convo. A really fantastic way to wrap up the volume itself

Some of the colors here I like a little better in print than i did digitally, too. Thats always a struggle with art, the difference between how different screens display color vs what different printers are capable of. So youre always gonna get slightly or sometimes even dramatically different values and saturation depending on how you view it. Interesting to see in action like this

Some of the more high impact panels also really pack a punch at a size this big, too. To me this is especially the case with the exorcism, theres a lot of really dramatic panel layouts during that sequence, and it makes me very excited to see all that mess on giant rat island and how that will shape up in print

I picked heros & villains for my sketch collection, and its really cute. I think it's funny how i cant tell sometimes whos supposed to be a hero or villain, and i also like that tarvek and theo are next to each other in the book. Thats very amusing to me. My favorite sketches are probably both agathas, lucrezia, and zeetha. I always appreciate how lucrezia and agatha dont look exactly like each other, but theres still a family resemblance

... My envelope of madness definitely has a lot of madness in it. I LOVE the lil bookplates theyre very cute. Even though im not sure what a bookplate does. Got a cute sticker, my arch nemesis is some sketelon guy (what else is new 🙄), a bunch of bookmarks (especially love the exorcism engines one), some sort of guild of monsters... Poster? Thing? Which is delightful, and a TPU student ID, which is terrifying as someone who managed to graduate after like 8 years. YOU CANT DRAG ME BACK, MAN!

Especially delighted by how much of the stuff ended up having a muse on it. I love the muses dearly

Great haul, good times, very pleased

[spatio-rift]

ok lets briefly talk about go now that im done playing (well i still have the hakuryuu stuff but whatever)

overall i think. the changes made to the story to adapt it to game form really improved the whole thing for me in that it made it way less slow (which was why i had such a hard time getting into it w the anime). other changes that imo were huge improvements:

getting to see kidou make the decision of joining raimon (as opposed to being just sent there by hibiki etc for vague reasons) and what exactly it is that he brings to the team that they didnt have before. he feels a lot more needed there than in the anime to me....

again about kidou i like that we saw him admit that his way of training raimon wasnt going well AT ALL LOL (though the kids still apologized to him which i didnt like. unnecessary and undeserved (HE should be apologizing) but okk...)

obviously i have mixed feelings on it because i have mixed feelings on the s3 kageyama redemption happenings and such HOWEVER i did like that there were ever so slightly more hikaru+kidou interactions in the game. theres really not much actual content but kidou telling him to wear his name proudly and take it to places kgym never could + hikaru very clearly looking up to him leave the door open for me to imagine a sort of detached mentor/mentee relationship (LOL)

same chapter i did also really like that fubuki had a little moment w kurama who was starting to feel like he wasnt enough as a striker that he didnt put in as much effort as the first years n that the team didnt need him etc.... bc of course. fubuki went through that sort of stuff as well he used to think the same things etc. (though i was a little disappointed that that conversation was pretty much it and kurama didnt really get any more focus after that)

you may have read some of my complaints about tenma becoming captain and for like 2 episodes thinking he had to be exactly like shindou and do for the team exactly what shindou did despite playing a completely different role and somehow all the other members of the team kind of expecting that kind of leadership from him as well which was VERY weird. well thankfully we have none of that in the game since kurama clears things up immediately before the match. thank god. let out the heaviest sigh of relief when i read that

oh of course before i forget. of course in all versions teikoku is the resistances base of operations. however in the anime this is only relevant during the teikoku part and after that we just never mention it again. i REALLY liked that in the game teikoku very much felt like the actual heart of the resistance bc you go there a bunch of times for info meetings, but also for training away from fifth sectors eyes. theres a real purpose and use behind that status i was really happy to see it

^ related to this since thats where they come to train but i also really liked that you eventually see the teams who join raimons side again and they come back to help and support raimon in their fight by training w them at teikoku. like minamisawa and hyoudou, the kidokawa captain whatever his name is, some other team also but i literally dont remember. hakuren probably. it was also great that shinsuke brings out his avatar by training w sangoku and hyoudou fellow avatar-using keeper. bringing back the avatar resonance they mentioned at the very beginning w shindou and tsurugi twas awesome to see. actually im reading the wiki rn and what do you mean hyoudou also helped shinsuke w his keeper training in the anime. im shaking is my memory that bad? whatever i think the way he eventually brought out his avatar specifically was different anyway and it was better in the game.

literally not as significant as the rest in any way but i liked that nishiki seems very close w the kendo club lol. they were literally fighting the soccer club for him.... and thats where he trained his kick before the match against kidokawa. i also thought it was very interesting how in the kidou vs the team happenings he had a completely opposite stance to the rest of the team and distanced himself from them until they stopped whining about kidous training. i thought it was very fun for him to have such a different mindset from them after training under someoka (who was no doubt as strict and demanding of him as kidou is of the team if not more)

i know i thought there was more but i cant think of anything else right now. we will come back later. maybe

now for some rare game Ls. i thought the game might expand a little more on nishiki and midoris friendship (question mark?) the year before but there was nothing. they interact exactly twice iirc. one time when everyone is annoyed at kidou and nishikis like oh you big babies stop whining 🙄🙄 and she whacks him over the head and one time on the raimon twitter. crying

also i literally played this game for the amagi and mahoro chapter and was CRUSHED about how short it felt in the game... it ended so abruptly in the anime with the whole thing completely gone and forgotten by the next episode i thought for sure the game would treat me (gen'ei trio fan) better but they didnt even have a short scene w mahoro and amagi talking n reconciling after the match like in the anime.... cries. i did like kousakas more active role in it but i think i expected way more cuz i had heard about it from someone who hyped it up before dhfjhh

and lastly (because it was a really great game and i was pleasantly surprised a lot more often than i found stuff i didnt really like so thats all i have to say)

HAYAMI NEVER ELABORATED ON THIS WTF

[selamat-linting]

just saw this loser saying that they just cant get into punk and drew's feud and that cmjf is better. which is okay, valid opinion, i was like that too for some time actually. i dont fault ppl for thinking cmjf is better because drew almost joining the ses cult at the time is different than mjf who spent years molding his persona to be a homage to cm punk's career. like, even if you include the really interesting factoid/rumor that punk might have pushed drew to be released from wwe in around the early 2010s, the emotional hook in the beginning of the feud and sense of betrayal that cmjf had is still stronger.

but then this idiot maggot goes ahead and say that punkintyre is a ripoff and that its pathetic that a company that has a 70 year old lore is copying off a fresh startup for ideas. which is, what? are you even watching the cmjf feud? what kind of shallow reading bullshit is this? its literally a direct adaptation of raven and cm punk's feud without the alcoholism. its ripping off roh basically. Some of the spots of the cmjf dog collar match is copied exactly like the first one punk had with raven. there is a gifset comparing the two. the emotional background, guy who gets angry and pissed off by their former hero and becomes a bad person as a result, is also the same.

also, its not like aew doesnt copy things off from other places too. adam cole's character work is mostly reusing the same ideas he's had during the undisputed era in wwe nxt? mercedes mone's ceo gimmick is just... the boss with the letters changed and a slightly different dance. that the entire four pillars stuff was literally copypasted from AJPW. and then they bring out gangrel and use the vampire gimmick and blood dumping antics that got left behind several decades ago instead of doing something new.

okay, i actually like mercedes mone and thought adam cole is doing his best in spite of the injuries. in fact, the four pillars match is one of the first matches i saw and i still think of it fondly. im pulling these examples not because i dislike them (though i do think adamjf as a ship and a tag team is a bunch of rotten eggs when they didnt break up at all in and dragged out the devil storyline) but to show that people and companies have been copying and getting inspired over each others ideas and its like normal. not a sign of creative bankruptcy.

if you want to take potshots for aew or wwe copying ideas, you have to acknowledge your favorite company is also recycling storylines and gimmicks from other places.

again, its common and perfectly fine to have preferences and like a company's take on a story or concept better than others. but some of the ppl i see doing these type of stupid fights are the type to dislike the exact same thing they love just a few minutes ago just because the letters on the apron is different. its bootlicking behavior and its annoying. get rid of that, even the so called "deranged" kpop fana abhors company stans in their fandoms

[nightwatch-ithaqua]

yeah, i figured as much, wasnt expecting anything else. works better for me if anything, i dont really like making new friends under any circumstances, so i wasnt planning on that to begin with. im not expecting you to trust me in any way either, im a stranger on the internet lol..

i hold a lot of pride in myself in many different ways, which sometimes is nice i guess because it makes me take a strong interest in people with shared sources because, again, lots of pride in myself and my source.. it can be a problem a lot when i feel like my identity is being threatened, which is why i tend to not like insys doubles. feels like our brain is trying to copypaste me even if theyre completely different in every way XP..

ive only met one other ithaqua (well.. i guess 2 now, if this counts..? or 3, if our friend being an ocassional irl also counts.) and its.. also a morningstar, funnily enough. were pretty similar, because it split off of me, but still plenty different, at least according to the two of us. although we do prefer to stick together, i think the only time weve been separate was when i left front but someone had to stay to watch andrew, and helel was the only other person around. i could talk about the two of us for a while honestly, but ill leave that for another ask since i prefer to not let these get too long and i have something else to talk about here.

one thing i recall is that the first time i saw your blog in tags, you mentioned you dont have pigtails, which i think is neat because i do! and i actually find it really hard to find any art or general representations of me with them.. so are we just having the opposite problem lol..? id love to switch if thats the case /j .. but seriously i find this in particular a bit interesting. i never even knew my brother existed before the whole.. (gestures vaguely) Situation, but he didnt have his hair up in any way, and so i often see mine as another way to keep us separate.. and our hair is slightly different colours, but i think its really hard to tell a lot of the time, so i like having the difference between us since without my hair being put up like that we look almost exactly the same. more than we already do.

🪷

The identity thing feels extremely real tbh. There are too many doubles of me in the system and I feel lost in the crowd, like I don't get to just be me sometimes. At least none of them are after my dear Alva though. They're all very different from me it's so odd.

And yes, ironically, it feels like all the art I see of myself people are drawing their version with pigtails.

After awhile I've come to just let it slide. It took awhile just getting used to being here and accepting that things were going to be this way tbh.

I am less and less ashamed of my system as time goes on and I'm not afraid to share anymore I think that we actually have two NW fictives that were raised together and it was their biological father that attacked and that's a whole story they could talk about because it was a traumatic moment for them too but the story went very different and yet not to dissimilar from canon.

I just think it's incredible how we can have so many similarities and differences all at the same time.

[thecherrygod]

okay im gonna write the other dream i had last night bc i like keeping them all in one place and i usually post all of them here so this ones under the cut, its kinda long

i was in a school, with people i knew from elementary school but it was implied to be highschool. sometiemes i was just exploring it a bit and finding classmates i havent seen and being like 'oh hey hi its been a while'. all of them looked like they did last time i saw them which makes sense, but my brain aged one of them up, it was this one boy from class that we were sorta friends but not really, we just were two dumbasses with the same sense of humor when we were starting to hit puberty. he was standing in front of me and he sorta rested his head on my shoulder at some point. didnt see him again after that.

apparently the school was like 'you need to do a thesis to fully graduate. also everyone around you is 18 or younger. youre still 24, you absolute useless idiot' which like. low blow. i know exactly where that comes from, unnecesary, rude. the thesis tho was more like. you had to read a paper on genocide, and the most important part was apparently on line 257. i dont know what it said, i dont know anything about it. also i think it was just like a presentation and i had to explain something about it to some teacher, but it was still called a thesis. at some point the mom of the first guy i ever liked in my life walks in there. she sits down. and she begins crying, and saying how her son is useless and a fucking mess and she doesnt know what to do about it.

next thing i know, im outside the school. actually unsure if i even did the thesis thing or not, but im out. the streets are foggy, its drizzling, i can barely notice besides the school theres a futbol court, but its barely noticeable as one.

so, i walk up the street in the rain. i do a bit of a dance bc im out of there, even if everything looks awful im just out. but i start doubting. 'did i really do that or not? i cant remember i should check it out...' so i start walking back to the school. the fog is leaving, the rain stays, i can see people from their houses, the court, and the school looking at me from windows and such, but its fine, i just keep walking even tho im sure they saw my silly dance, even through the fog.

i reach the school. i look through the window. something in me is like 'oh. yeah. you did do it. its fine. yeah. yeah. its fine its done youre done with it.' im still not sure but i begin walking my way up again. and then i woke up.

[arlecchno]

that . dream sounds disturbing :D for some reason nowadays ive started to get more disturbing dreams as well ? they cant be described as nightmares because well i wasnt exactly scared ?? by them but they were ,,,, yk . disturbing . idk maybe im too desensitized to things my brain just either emotionally damages me or is like HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT [ throws random disturbing thing / content ] in my “nightmares” sometimes -

NOT THE LONELINESS 😭😭 i relate except im may or may not be legitimately lonely lmfao . a lot of those frickin popular uquiz quizzes call me out for it and im like “🤠⁉️”

lmao haitham is picking up cynos humor ?? not clickbait real ???? memes aside thanks for more portrayal validation i love rping alhaitham ( esp with kavehs ) theyre so fun - oh yeah i also have this

ngl since i have an alhaitham pfp on discord , i was kinda reading my messages in his voice cuz i was slandering language LMAO ( imagine alhaitham pronouncing “balogna” the way its spelled . made me giggle ngl )

im pretty sure aster has been my oc for almost a year now ( I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS THAT LONG BEFORE GODDAMN - ) so they have . an unholy amount of lore at the moment . i rlly need to modify the lore though because me and my friend ( we both made genshin ocs and theyre like partner ocs ) made our ocs before the release of sumeru where we got more information about irminsul and the leylines — which was vvvvvv important for my friends ocs lore — so now a lot of our stuff is either minorly outdated or some of our lore would just make a lot more sense done a different way 😭😭

even tho asters forever home ( well , as long as dilucs around ig ) is dawn winery , they travel teyvat a lot , which ties into their original name :D they wander the world too lmao ( its totally not an excuse to make them friends with all the character i like wdym hahahahahahahhaha ) . NGL THEY PROBABLY ALL MET AT THE TAVERN - whenever asters in mond ( a lot of the time bc obviously their house is there ) they work at angels share and like aster would walk into the tavern for the first time for like . a drink . dunno what kind of drink but then they just SEE this random ass kid from THEIR FALLEN ASS NATION and go “WTF” and promptly find out he is a fucking dumdum stoopid head and then regret ever coming to this place /j at the beginning kaeya and aster probably did argue at the bar a lot , these two khaenriahns WILL cause diluc to lose his sanity but its okay because then they can all cuddle by the fireplace when theyve all agreed that theyre okay with eachother ( they love eachother /p theyre just all in denial . ) . overall ragbros + aster relationship is just pure chaotic fluff and angst - sometimes they go out to murk all the fatui outside in mondstadt ! fun !! and oh god i typed WAY TOO MUCH ON THIS LMFAO

THE VOID BRICK WALL LMAO ah yes such a beauty is the unknown of the brick wall , it contains all the vastness of the universe in one block and you may observe every galaxy in its grain . also NOT THE TREE CRASH 😨

WHEKJDKDND YEAH I NEED A THOMA ROOMIE IF I EVER DECIDE ITD BE OKAY TO MOVE OUT IN THE FAR FUTURE BECAUSE I DONT THINK ID HAVE THE MENTAL ENERGY TO CLEAN THE PLACE ONCE A WEEK - and if i didnt id probably go crazy because i cant stand the feeling of dirt or sand on floors ….. bleh .

I ALWAYS STRUGGLE NO MATTER WHAT NATION LIKE . THERE WAS AN OCULI NEAR DAWN WINERY THAT I ALWAYS SAW THE DUMBASS SPARKLE TO ON THE MAP AND THEN IT TURNS OUT I NEED TO FLY A L L T H E W A Y UP SOMEWHERE TO GET IT LIKE . ARE . YOU . KIDDING . ME - it took me one whole year to figure out how to get that oculi . maybe im just stupid

omg you can NEVER mention dragonspine / winter patches around me im . IMPOSTER ALBEDO AND FELLFLOWER . they make me insane . i fucking USHXISJDIEIHDHSHAHAAAAAAAAA albedo / rhinedottir lore . alchemy in genshin impact lore . i am so . i will go feral the next time dorian / rubedo ( impostorbedo ) appears in story , wether it be event or not im . im insane thats what i am ………… hahaha …… 🤠

sometimes i forget people farm friendship exp .. im a super duper lazy player who absolutely despises grinding with my entire soul ( im the definition of “lore player” /hj ) i almost never switch out my team unless for fighting elemental bosses or enemies lmao -

DUDE MY CLASSES HAVE BEEN ACTUALLY SCREWING ME OVER WITH PROJECTS RN IM LOSING MY SANITY /nsrs im suffering so much . im losing so much precious sleep …… starts sobbing uncontrollably

i really like milk and white choccy too lmao - probs bc i just cant rlly handle bitter things but OH WELL ! my absolute favorite kind of chocolate is like any kind with strawberries / strawberry flavor in them , recently one of my friends shared some valentines chocolates she got from her boyfriend with our friend group and i gotta say that strawberry chocolate they had in there was ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPDIDDILYUMPTIOUS . it had pieces of dried strawberry too it was just . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

DUDE where i live we have these things called mochi donuts and theyre so good ( ngl you can probably guess where im from just from googling mochi donuts lmao - ) regular donuts r yumyum good but mochi donuts are so satisfying to consume LMAO - but man i havent had a cinnoroll in AGES .. i think im just a pastry enjoyer in general lmao , strawberry , apple , and guava pastries are my life .

tbh i dont think any reply would ever be too long for me to read , like you could probably write me a 3 page essay as a reply and id sure as hell read it LMAO i ramble a lot too so that just makes the both of us 😋

HEIDJEKJD favorite song questions are so hard , right now id have to say either undercover martyn - two door cinema club if you just wanted my music taste im gonna list a bunch of artists now because i am a free advertising machine when i like things : owl city , the neighbourhood , chase petra , lovejoy , everybodys worried about owen , and uhhh everything from the epic: the musical sagas

ZE QUESTION ! whats your favorite like ambient sound ( city noises , water , leaves , etc etc ) and why :0

wOOO SATURN EMOJI 🪐🪐🪐🪐 I LOVE SPACE !! CYA NEXT TIME 💫💫

- jellyfish ( or alex idk lol )

oh my god HI AGAIN ALEX i'm sorry that i wasn't able to reply to this sooner 💔💔 my inbox has been wonky for some reason and it finally worked today (thank god), i hope this won't happen again 😔🤞 i miss talking with you so here's a really long reply hehe hope you don't mind!

i've had my fair share of disturbing dreams lmao, and i've also heard that if you get those kinds of dreams then it means you're dying early??? i don't really believe in superstitions though so i'm not exactly worried about it LOL

your alhaitham rps are hella funny LMFAO i always think of alhaitham of someone who'd slander a lot of things especially when it comes to languages (since he canonically speaks 20 languages), i also see him as someone who'd mispronounce words or pronounce words as exactly what they're written (like you said) and say it with such a straight face 😭 i feel like if you ever tried explaining it to him he'd be like "what do you mean this is pronounced as baloney? why is it even spelled as bologna if you're going to pronounce it so wrongly? what has this system become?" and i'm just going to be in the corner laughing my ass off at how blunt and unintentionally funny this man is

aster lore is back again!!!!! seeing you mention that aster was created before sumeru and how it's already been a year since their existence made me realize how long sumeru has been out for,, sooner or later we'll be getting fontaine in no time 😵 but back to aster! it always interests me how you have this whole background story of aster which is HELLA cool and stuff and how you keep up with the genshin lore too! i think it's such a nice touch for them to be related with the ragbros too— i can just see their silly little arguments and silly little moments they have together. i'm also sure as hell the moment aster sees the khaenriah eyes (well,, eye... to be specific) in kaeya they'd be like "oh hell no." too SJDJKJS it's just so funny thinking of the many scenarios of their first encounter could play out

oh trust me, i hate cleaning my room. if i ever have a roommate one day, i am praying to the lord that they're the most strictest person on earth so that they can make me move my ass around 😔 i'm just not the person who has the energy to do all that often

don't get me started. the oculis in mondstadt are actual hell. like i'm literally not kidding. how can they call it the nation of freedom when i have no freedom trying to get all those oculis when i was in such a low ar? /j

jokes aside the locations of those oculis in mondstadt were so... brutal. i remember using those oculi compass things and the locations they showed at stormterror's lair were so????? some of them were up at the sky and my low ar ass was so confused on how to get up there,, i also remember there was this one that was hidden in like a pillar and i actually had to get my ass up the highest hill there to fly down into that pillar because somehow they won't let me climb the pillar up... those were truly my darkest times lmfao

WINTER PATCHES!!!!! i really miss them haha i was so excited during the snowman event back then and i made a bunch of cute snowmans and taking pics of them with kazuha. hope hyv bring back the winter patches ASAP ‼️‼️ WE NEED MORE ALBEDO LORE ‼️‼️ also idk if you have done the windblume story event but just in case i'm still adding a spoiler alert;;

i'm guessing we got some rhinedottir lore? well it was only mentioned that she's apart of the hexenzirkel and she called herself a mother to albedo (despite the many things she's done that would say otherwise lmao). but fetus bedo in the cutscene is so cute hsjdjdjjs and it basically implied that his hair wasn't tied like that but instead he was created with that hair style 😭 bros really just magnificent without even trying

i'm so very interested with rhinedottir/albedo/durin/dorian lore like i just know that there's more to what we know currently.... but we probably won't be getting much anytime soon considering how deep rhinedottir's lore is sobs

LMAO i get what you're saying with being a lazy player,, i myself have been detaching myself off from genshin impact recently and it's quite relaxing‼️ i don't panic that i missed out on daily's anymore and i hope it continues that way 😭 i log in once in a while to do the events and disappear again for the next week

ahhhh the thought of school projects and assignments makes me squirm kwdjdjdj my break basically ended and i start school on monday so hahaha.... i'm back to hell again </3 so not ready for the heavy workload . hope you're getting enough rest!!! school is always so hectic hhhhh hope you're managing well

dried strawberries in strawberry chocolates????? SIGN ME TF UP(!!!!!!!! i love anything related with strawberries they're literally the best. thing. to ever. EXIST! mochi donuts sound so good looking at the pictures on google made me want to just . chomp them following the shapes one by one. donuts are absolutely scrumptious.

guava pastries?? :0 never heard of them but i'd definitely try them if i could ever get my hands on them, any pastry MUST be tried out by me‼️‼️‼️‼️ *evil laughing intensifies*

glad that i have someone to ramble stuff with!!! at least i won't suffer by keeping all this excitement to myself while rambling stuff on this blog ☝️

just listened to undercover martyn!!! i think it's kinda stuck in me now LMAO the sick beats are getting to me,,, and the beats lowkey remind me of remember when by wallows which is one of my favourite songs by the band!!!

OMG OWL CITY?? HAHA this is truly ironic because i used to love his wreck it ralph song when the movie came out!! this gave me so much nostalgia and kinda made me want to watch the movie again LOL 😭😭 overall your music taste is so>>>> you made me discover new artists like chase petra and lovejoy!!! i'm currently in love with beabadobee shdjdh some of my favourite songs from her currently are you lie all the time and dance with me 😋🤞

oh this question is interesting— i pretty much love oceans the most, if anything. the sound of waves and the chilly wind gives me so much comfort for some reason, and somehow the smell of saltwater never bothered me,, despite my dislike towards salt in general LMAO.

other than that, i think this might sound weird . but i kind of like the sound of the hustle and bustle of flea markets too. they can be kind of overwhelming sometimes because of screaming children and whatnot- but for some reason i enjoy listening to people talking with each other whilst buying stuff sjsklk very odd but it's interesting to see what other people are up to. it's so very fascinating to see the human life evolve and for me that's comforting somehow 😵‍💫

a question for you!!!! what's your favourite season and why :D

i better not get ahead of myself with my rambling and end this off here. hopefully my inbox won't shut down again like last time!! i was so upset that i couldn't reply to your ask and ended up replying this really late 💔 thrilled to see your reply soon!!! have a nice day alex 🪐🪐🪐🪐 (YES SATURN EMOJIS WOO!!!)

[darke15]

Hello, Rhymieeeee!!! @rhymingtree

So sorry i took so long to reblog this, I remember reading it when you reacted and for some reason, I completely forgot to respond 😬

I'm so sorry this took so long 😭😭 but I've decided to procrastinate on all my other responsibilities and now here I am 🙃

Don’t be because I’ve apparently been sitting on this react for a month 😑

Ollie flashbacks are starting to drive me insane. Can't spend too long in a psychopath's brain without being driven into insanity yourself

Fr fr he’s driving me nuts too 

Also I have so many snacks rn so I'm wondering if I'll be crying with a mouthful of sandwich later on in the course of the chapter

Of course you will 😂

How Gonzalez saw everything before it happened and planned for it; he could only be blindsided if (F/N) was in harm’s way. How (F/N) would jump into a fight without a second thought and she wasn’t used to losing.

He could literally be blindsided so easily if you plan it right

And that’s exactly what happened 😈

The fact that Daniel Gonzalez is a fictional man hurts me to my core every day.

Same though 

“Your mission?” “Исправляем свою ошибку.”

I know the Soldier was probably told to say that, but I can hear Bucky's signature sass. Like him saying 'you fucked up and now I have to clean up your messes. You are so fucking annoying. Redheaded asshole.'

Novak gives the Soldier special permission to be sassy when he’s dealing with Oliver Walsh

Zac and Belov were practically slumped over a pair of computers that looked as though they were at least two decades old.

They're working on their Excel spreadsheets

I can hear the dial up internet noise 😂

Shadows danced in your peripheral, their ghostly voices whispered in your ear. They begged and pleaded and screamed for mercy. Their faces stretched into horrified cries. Their bodies marred and mangled by fire and riddled with oozing bullet wounds.

How the hell can anyone find their way back to being sane after all this…

They don’t. That’s the issue 😀

“You slept for over eighteen hours,” he said, pulling back with a low scoff, “How the hell did you manage to wake up cranky?” “I’m talented.”

Me to myself after one week of classes.

Fr fr 

But no honestly how am I so drained after just ONE week back it makes no sense

School suckssssssss 

How is she springing into work mode so quickly SHE ALMOST DIED FUCKIN' TAKE A BREAK

She doesn’t have timeeeeeeeee

GIRL DONT YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO HAMILTON WHEN HE DIDNT TAKE A BREAK

INFIDELITYYY

YOU DON'T SAY NO

Ohhhhhhhh 😈 interesting

well

she already didn't say no to Novak…

👀👀👀 that do be true. She cheatin’ on aftermath?

Ghost is genuinely insane. You know how I know?

She refused to take the nap offer

what kind of person says no to a nap??? In this economy??? Take the damn nap

Fr fr 😂

— “Danny?” you cried, your lungs closing in on themselves as you struggled to breathe, “Mi amor? I’m scared. Stay with me, please?” —

Darke I'm gonna fuckin kill you

Try it. See what happens 😀

WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL INTO THESE WITHOUT ANTICIPATING THE FUCKING FLASHBACKS

Idk you should know better by now 

— He smiled softly, pulling you against him and resting his chin on your head, “I love you.” —

DARKE

WHAT 

Had he misread Walsh from the beginning? Had they been marked for death from the moment he walked aboard their plane?

So many what-ifs of what their lives would be had it not been for Walsh

Ughhhhh got me thinking about more different universes and what everything would have turned out [weston bad guy arc? 👀]

What if there were more of him? What if more Hydra agents were littered among Aftermath’s ranks?

And background checks would be practically useless, because if Walsh had fooled them, anyone could

They’d all look like regular ppl. And the thing is, you wouldn’t be able to tell. If they’re a good Hydra agent [like Alexei and Melina’s family was in BW] you’d never be able to track them back to the source 

Also I don't think reading about people with these kinds of stress levels are helping me with my stress levels

Probably not 😀

“I’ve seen her worse. I’ve seen her better.”

That is now code for: she literally almost died but is still refusing to take naps like a petulant toddler.

We all know that Ghost becomes a child when she’s sleep deprived and hungry 

I keep forgetting that Wraith's reveal was still so recent timeline wise... god reading all this all over again is gonna hurt once it's all completed

Timeline wise, the shit they’ve been through is absolutely wild

Which reminds me I've been thinking about it and I genuinely thought this fic would be finished by the time I graduated my senior year of high school

Ha! It was supposed to be done ages ago…idk if i’m gonna see the end of it 😂

“Damn you,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his lap. Imara set her chin atop his head, holding him close as the smile on his face fell.

I need fanart of this. I will pay with my internal organs to be able to put this image on my wall as a poster.

Yessssssssss 

OOOOH A CONTAINMENT UNIT

😈😈😈

Cut to Peter a few years after this, wreaking havoc in fucking LONDON with Mysterio HAHSHAHA

Gonna give poor jack a heart attack as he gets older

….also got me thinking about nwh and peter and jack’s relationship

Reading this is doing serious damage to my life expectance. This amount of tension is taking a decade off me at most

Pffffft you’re fine

JACK WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

JACK BENNET-DUGAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

😀😀😀

“Have we met before?” the man asked, his head cocking to the side. “Yeah,” Jack growled, “I enjoyed breaking your face in Medellín.” Wraith paused, seemingly taken aback for a moment before Jack’s words sunk in. “Copycat,” he hummed, “Come to finish the job?” “With pleasure.”

See I knwo this is supposed to be thrilling

but mostly my heart is just lurching out of my ribcage

😂😂😂

“You shoulda kept the mask. I can see fear in your eyes. Panic,” Wraith paused with a chuckle, the sound twisted and wicked, “I like it.”

Oh wow... didn't know he was into that sorta thing but I guess it isn't surprising 😏

He’s into the most random things i think

I'm about to throw a tearsoaked sandwich to the wall in a fit of unbridled rage

Don’t do that. The sandwich doesn’t deserve it

Maybe it was Danny’s guiding hand making sure they were safe.

Now I'm genuinely curious about these guys' spirituality

The only confirmed person with a belief system is Boone who's pagan. As far as I know Ghost and most of Alpha One and Two are agnostic atheists, but with that I feel like she still has a spiritual belief system that centers mostly on Danny's everlasting presence in her life

Ari was, at one point, Jewish but I think after what happens between him and his dad he doesn’t practice anymore. Idk where anyone else really sits

You were going to have to send Ollie a message.

Cool what's his email address

Or would you rather go for Jack the Ripper-esque letters written in blood with someone's severed ear in the envelope?

What do you think the near-death, crazed soldier is gonna pick?

MELINA AND NATASHAAAA MY TWO BEST GIRLS

yessssssssss

“So, Walsh knows you’re moving them for him?” This stopped Melina in her tracks. She frowned, glancing up at her in confusion, “Who?” “Walsh,” she repeated herself, watching as the woman’s face never changed, “Ghost.”

SO VERY WELL

😀😀😀

“You? Pft. No. He is the stupid archer and you’re my sister. You’re the coolest.”

nice save babes.

Fr fr 

OH MY WHAT

THE WAY I ALMOST BOUNCED OFF THE FUCKING WALL

GOD IT MUST BE SO FUCKING TENSE HOW SCARED HE MUST BE

I dunno how he didn’t shit his pants on sight

Ghostie's probably lying through her teeth

See, she’s just so good at it that it comes naturally. 

I love how May didn't question the almost ghoulish looking woman coming to talk about the ✨internship✨

I meannnnnnn in nwh she did stick up for the villains and idk if i could let a crazed and homeless willem dafoe into my house. 

Well it's high time I scream at someone to put the pieces together again. This'll be fun.

😈😈😈

I love it when all of Alpha Two gangs up on ghost and starts scolding her like she's a child and they knew she broke something in the living room

And she’s like a cat like 🤷🏼‍♀️

With so much shit going on in the East Coast with Wraith and Ghost and all that, I find myself almost grateful to be so far away from the US

Lol, everything always happens on the coasts

“Funny,” he said with a deadpan, “We don’t usually leave fingerprints.”

No you just leave a fuck ton of collateral damage, which is leagues away from little smudgy fingerprints, you fuckin' psychopath

😂😂😂

Peter is the highlight of the chapter, of course. He almost always is. I'm so curious how the homecoming fight will play out.. and how his relationship with Ghost and Jack will go in the next movies of his storyline. The banter is fun. The angst hurts. I'm all in for it.

Seeeeeeee idk if i wanna finish the homecoming arc, if anything i wanna go back and change a few things but…we’ll see 

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

Every other memory had come so clearly. When he pulled the trigger in Odessa and Inessa. When he trained soldiers and Widows in Siberia.

He could remember the cold in the chamber. The frost bursting and burning through his veins in the darkness.

But there was also heat.

Heat and sand and sun.

It was numbed heat and a blurred face and whispers of a voice that cracked and rasped.

He knew her once.

She knew him too.

They’d made him forget her.

It was too dangerous to remember.

So they made him forget.

They erased her.

But he’d be damned if he didn’t find her again.

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

CHAPTER 97: GENESIS OF A FIRESTORM

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

☞ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ: Oʀɪɢɪɴs

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

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