#thelastdaysofamericancrime

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Worst of 2020

Yeah, I know. This list is coming way too late. Still, I thought you might enjoy it.

10. After We Collided

It’s a tradition on his blog to save the #10 spot for a movie that’s “so bad it’s good”. There were a couple of contenders in 2020 but I’m going to go with After We Collided. This movie is such a wild departure from the first, it’s hysterical. I don't mean that the first was "good" and this one "bad". I mean the tone and the plot. The very first scene retcons the ending of After and demotes Hardin from “happily ever after” to living under a bridge like a troll. There are many unintentionally funny moments or structural problems with the movie that make it a laugh-riot. My only regret is that when I got my friends to watch it, we were all in different rooms and had to discuss it through video call afterward. I didn't get to hear their groans as Tessa scored the job of a lifetime, the kind that doesn't exist in real life, or the laughs when the "Jacob" of this series showed up. Its missteps scream “from the Wattpad fanfiction”. It’ll never become a cult classic unless the next movie gets even crazier but I had enough fun for me to look forward to After We Fell.

9. The Last Days of American Crime

I’m as shocked as you are to see The Last Days of American Crime as the #9 worst movie of the year. It deserves to be on the list… but this “low”? Unfortunately, yes. While this movie is boring and dumb, at least I can understand why someone green-lit it. In an alternate universe where this didn’t get 0 stars and was merely bad in an average way, I could picture it being remade or ripped off, and its descendant being good. In the meantime, this is just plain awful, a cataclysmic waste of time. Unlike #10, don't go near it.

8. The Wrong Missy

The Wrong Missy gave me essentially everything I thought it would. Even so, it’s unforgivable. This isn’t the rapiest movie on this list but that doesn't matter. It’s tired, unfunny, and phony.

7. John Henry

I was tempted to leave John Henry off the list because I didn’t think anyone would’ve seen this movie, even with the star power of Terry Crews and Ludacris. Then, I saw it for sale inside a Sunrise Records. I need to remind you of how awful this film is. Anyone with any kind of sense would turn it off minutes in and if you’re wondering, no, even with Ludacris playing a laughable flamethrower-themed villain with a piece of metal bling on his face, it’s never bad in a funny way.

6. Fantasy Island

This one had potential but Blumhouse squandered all of it. This film made money. I’m sure despite its scathing reviews, Fantasy Island is being talked about as a franchise starter by the studio executives. To them, I say please don’t. This movie can’t even keep track of its own simple rules and its “spooky revelations” are nonsense. It isn’t the least bit scary and I can’t imagine audiences will be dumb enough to hop on board another trip to this “be careful what you wished for” paradise.

5. Survive the Night & Hard Kill

I’m putting these two in the #5 spot because they’re basically twins. Two Bruce Willis-led action thrillers with zero budget, zero ingenuity, zero reasons to exist, both directed by Matt Eskandari. They prove the Die Hard star doesn’t care about anything but the paychecks he gets. These movies are born out of spreadsheets; columns of numbers that confirm a beloved action star in a movie - no matter how poorly advertised or bad - will draw a certain audience. Big box stores will sell X copies based on the name alone and no one cares about anything else. If they don’t, why should I?

4. Mulan

Unlike the other films we've discussed so far, Mulan  looks great. The special effects are convincing, the costumes are a sight to behold. So what? No one would choose this adaptation over the original Disney movie. If you’re not into animation or music, there are plenty of other adaptations that don't require you to pay $30 for Disney+ premium access. I bet none of them have a lead as uncharismatic or uninspiring as this one. I don’t know what writers Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Lauren Hynek, and Elizabeth Marin were thinking, turning an ordinary woman that used her wits to become a hero… into someone born with superpowers. You can’t relate to her, none of the side characters are interesting or memorable. It even botches the villain, who is about as threatening as a baby panda. This movie is part of not one, but two trends that I hate: “upgrading” animated films by making them live-action, and pandering to Chinese audiences - who rejected the movie anyway. Wonder how the people in the Xinjiang internment camps felt about this one?

3. Dolittle

Like Mulan , this movie had the money and the star power it needed. After ending his career as Iron Man/Tony Stark on a high note, we all wanted Robert Downey Jr. to move on to great things. Instead, he’s reaching into a dragon’s anus shoulder-deep to unclog its digestive system and then get a big fart in the face. Even before then, this movie contains enough annoying talking animals and out-of-place, would-be funny references to modern/pop culture to make it clear it’s one of the year’s worst movies.

2. Artemis Fowl

I can only imagine just how mad fans of the book were when they saw Artemis Fowl butchered like this. I’m furious and I had no attachment to it whatsoever. You can feel this plot trying to break free from the shackles Disney imposed on it and failing. It’s obvious Artemis Fowl is a villain, but he’s turned into a hero because ... ? Turning him "good" doesn't even work either. He’s a smarmy brat whose dad was kidnapped because some shadowy villain wants a shiny egg that does… something? This entire ordeal was poorly conceived; from the “giant dwarf” played by Josh Gad who unhinges his jaw so he can eat dirt and then shoot it out of his ass, to the useless secondary characters, the half-baked mythology, and the convoluted plot. I can’t believe it only lasts 95 minutes. It felt so much longer.

Runner-Ups:

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

This is a perfect example of a sequel that missed the mark so badly, it’s embarrassing. There are many other films I should’ve considered putting on my “worst of” list before this one but most of them were zero-budget movies no one saw; movies destined to be forgotten no one goes in with any expectations. I hate this movie as much as I do because the first is clever and fun. This is a desperate attempt to bring the dead back to life so clumsy you'll want to stay away from the original.

Antebellum I have to give credit to one aspect of Antebellum; whoever put together that trailer did a bang-up job. We all thought this was going to be the next Get Out. Instead, we got a movie that almost says something about… historical re-enactments? Boy was this movie contrived, and for what?

Pets United I haven’t heard anyone talk about or mention Pets United since its release. That’s great. It’s ugly, badly acted, badly animated, badly written. On the downside, it means no one knows what I’m talking about when I complain about this abomination. I can’t get over how lazy it is. During the climax, the villain’s giant mechanical spider gets a limb caught in a conveyor belt. Thankfully, it’s much too big to fit in the furnace this belt leads to. At best, the heroes will have a few moments to come up with a better plan to defeat it. Cut to them. Cut back to the spider, it’s now in the furnace, getting melted. Wow.

We Can Be Heroes I guess I’m in the minority when it comes to We Can Be Heroes. I thought it was awful. Generally, audiences seem to enjoy it, which is why there’s a sequel in the works. Am I the only one who was appalled by special effects that look like they come from a phone app? What about the performances? Are we just giving those a pass? How about that twist ending that makes no sense? Has no one else seen other superhero movies, seen how good they could be? Why are we letting this sloppy effort slide?

Love Wedding Repeat I don’t know what writer/director Dena Craig was thinking with Love Wedding Repeat. It begins as one of these generic “I’m reconnecting with the one that got away at the wrong time” and then 2/3 of the way in stops the ongoing train wreck, and restarts, showing us the “good timeline”. If you’re only going to show two results, why bother? It’s the limpest attempt at a time travel rom-com I’ve ever seen.

A Fall From Grace A Fall From Grace is the other 2020 movie I think might be worth checking if you’re into “so bad it’s good” movies. Unfortunately for you, it's been “improved” since its initial release to remove several mistakes (including bad acting from the extras, visible boom mikes, and continuity errors), which makes it “better” and therefore, less fun. There’s still plenty for you to enjoy ironically, however. My favorite aspect of the film is the ending, which makes NO SENSE. Well, unless you’re in a courtroom drama and the defense attorney is the worst lawyer who’s ever seen the light of day. It’s worth seeing just so you can hear “Ashtray, bitch!” in action.

1. 365 Days

First, there was Twilight, which might’ve had some contrived drama and dodgy performances, but served a purpose. Some might even call it good. At the very least, it tapped into a certain demographic's desires successfully. Then, someone went along and said “Yeah, but I don’t like this theme of chastity and waiting for marriage. Can they bang? Actually, can every scene be about them having sex? And instead of a vampire, could he be a deranged millionaire with a shattered past that makes him dangerous?” People cried foul, calling it sexist and unhealthy. Then, 365 Days comes along and says “Hold my beer”. Massimo Torricelli isn't a potential lover; he's a criminal. Not just a murderer; a kidnapper and a rapist! Oh, the movie doesn’t realize that’s what it’s showing us, but it is. This movie is disgusting. If you even have the misfortune of being in the same room as someone else while it plays, you’ll pray for an earthquake to open up the ground and send you straight to hell. At least two hours in a fiery inferno getting molested by demons would prove there’s a world beyond ours. The only thing this "erotic romantic drama" is good for is shrivelling your genitals.

[pbrstreetgang73]

Just watched this overlong pile of shite #TheLastDaysOfAmericanCrime on @Netflix This film is 150min long and makes no fucking sense, the premise, the heist , nothing. It’s just dumb and me dumber for sitting through it Please Avoid https://www.instagram.com/p/CBNvK3dlRTd/?igshid=14edf6p734boz

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Last Days of American Crime (2020)

How did someone named Olivier Megaton direct a boring film? 149 minutes of a bad movie is punishment enough. When the sentence is compounded by unlikeable characters, a half-baked future world, lousy acting, and dialogue that'll make you wince, be merciful; rather than subject us to “The Last Days of American Crime”, just put a bullet in our head.

In the future, the U.S. government is about to activate the American Peace Initiative (API), a signal that will prevent its citizens from committing acts they know are wrong. Professional bank robber Graham Bricke (Édgar Ramírez) is approached by Kevin Cash (Michael Pitt) and his fiancé Shelby Dupree (Anna Brewster). They plan on robbing Detroit’s Federal Reserve Treasury. The heist will take place just as the signal becomes online (the police will be turning in their weapons at this point). When it does, Shelby will sabotage the tower covering their area. Within 30 minutes, they'll be starting a new life of luxury in Canada.

This setup and plot are needlessly complicated. Bricke had a stash of money but it’s been stolen by a crime syndicate. He’s broke and mourning his brother's suicide, except he didn’t kill himself, he was murdered by prison guards. It's useless information. Was the story of a career criminal confronting the API not enough? We needed all this, and a love plot between him and Shelby (they have no chemistry whatsoever) behind Kevin’s back? And Kevin's revenge against his mafia family? And a subplot about a cop (Sharlto Copley as Officer William Sawyer) who doesn’t want to be part of the future police department, but then changes his mind? Too much stuff going on. Within 20 minutes, you’ve stopped caring.

The concept of a society in which crime is "going away” is interesting - if done right. We see protesters in the streets but we’re never told why. We can deduce that it’s because people are worried the signal - which freezes those about to do something wrong - will wreak havoc, combined with the fact that certain police officers will be made them immune to the signal. Why do they need immunity? To go… undercover? That won’t happen ever. In fact, the police will be so useless once the API is active they’re all about to be laid off - I guess traffic lights will never break down and they don’t plan on investigating crimes committed in the past. The freezing thing is what makes this entire premise fall apart. What if a pilot sneaks a candy bar from the snack cart? Is the entire flight going down? Other questions that should be answered aren’t, like what if someone see nothing wrong with driving through a red light at 3:00 am when the streets are deserted. I know I should just “go with it” but API isn’t necessary to the plot, not when you don’t discuss its moral implications. Compare this to Minority Report, for example.

Even if you could get over the excessive running time and the choppy worldbuilding, everything else is a mess. The dialogue sounds like it’s been written by a 13-year-old edgelord who read all of Sin City and thought “I can do better”. Everyone we meet is unlikable, even when screenplay writer Karl Gajdusek introduces a bunch of additional baddies to show us why Shelby is a victim, not a villain. The violence is too brutal to be fun (why is there an attempted rape in this movie?) and Megaton manages to make it all ugly and frequently incomprehensible. Or maybe it only seemed incoherent because I kept almost dozing off.

You can look as hard as you want. You won’t find anything good, creative, worthwhile, or even “ok” in The Last Days of American Crime. It almost hints at interesting ideas but the apparent paradoxes in its world seem more unintentional goofs than commentary. It’s a contender for the worst movie of 2020. (April 27, 2021)

[movienama]

#TheLastDaysofAmericanCrime2020 #TheLastDaysofAmericanCrime #neflix اولین تریلر رسمی فیلم اکشن و هیجانی آخرین روزهای جرم و جنایت‌های آمریکایی 2020 The Last Days of American Crime 2020 با بازی #thelastdaysofamericancrimeppz @edgarramirez2 #AnnaBrewster @messbrewster #MichaelPitt #SharltoCopley @sharltocopleyofficial این فیلم بر اساس کمیک «آخرین روزهای جرم و جنایت‌های آمریکایی» (The Last Days of American Crime) ساخته شده است. کمیک آخرین روزهای جرم و جنایت‌های آمریکایی که توسط «ریک ریمندر» (Rick Remender) نوشته شده، در آینده‌ای نزدیک روایت می‌شود و در آن دولت آمریکا برای از بین بردن جرم و جنایت، سیگنالی طراحی کرده که باعث می‌‌شود هیچ‌کس نتواند به طور آگاهانه مرتکب جرم شود. فیلم قرار است خلاف‌کاری را دنبال کند که به یک دزدی بزرگ پی می‌برد و سعی دارد تا قبل از اینکه سیگنال پخش شود، این دزدی را به همراه چند نفر دیگر انجام دهد. تاریخ پخش 16 خرداد 1399 از شبکه @netflix . ++++++++++++++ به کانال رسمی مووی نما در «تلگرام» به پیوندید. Telegram.me/MovieNama Telegram.me/MovieNama متفاوت ترین و به روزترین پیج #فیلم و #سریال در اینستاگرام👍✌️ برای شما که می خواهید بیشتر بدانید. دوستانتان را #تگ کنید.👉 ++++++++++++++ #movieNama #movie #movie2020 #series #coming #comingsoon #cinema #tv #مووی_نما #نما #سینما #هالیودد #بزودی #اخبارفیلم #اخبارسریال #انیمیشن #مووی ++++++++++++++ https://www.instagram.com/p/CAYQ4x0H83u/?igshid=17sed62g396u5