#their weird almost father-son relationship rules

[feldsparite]

these voicelines live in my head rent free they're so cuteeee

[solarwonux]

Business Proposal || knj (2/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst, namjoon is pretty much not the nicest dude lol (will add more as it progresses), kinda sugar daddy au but not really. It will make sense I promise.

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 9k

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

a/n: Hello, this is longer than I expected it to be, but anything to get the story moving. LMK your thoughts and if you want to be added to the tallest! Enjoy!

m.list

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“I thought you stopped smoking.”

Jungkook jumps at the sound of your voice, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. The burning cigarette in between his index and middle finger. He opens his mouth to say something, but decides against it and closes it, shaking his head. He looks out into the backyard, and takes another puff of his almost gone cigarette.

You sigh and go to stand next to him, leaning against the porch railing as you stare out into the same backyard. Silently wishing it was Spring again. Mrs. Jeon and Lia’s backyard always felt magical. Filled with flowers and greenery that always made it feel like a dream. But in the winter months it was barren and depressing. Nothing exciting grows except for the Lenten Roses in a pot next to the last porch step.

“Bad habits die hard.” He shrugs, taking another puff. “You should know.” He looks over at you, blowing out the cloud of smoke in your face.

You cough, fanning the cloud away. “You’re an ass.”

“Sometimes you ask for it.” He shrugs, throwing the white stick on the ground and squashing it with his boot. “Shouldn’t you be inside, gushing about wedding dresses and invitations with mom, while dad kisses Namjoon’s feet for once again being the perfect son.”

He stuffs his hands into the pocket of his pants. You sigh, coming to stand next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. “Don’t be like that.” You whisper. “You’re lightyears a better person than your brother.”

His chest shakes with a humorless laugh. He has the urge to push you away but you’ve always been the only one with the ability to see through the perfectly curated images he and his brother have built over the years. “It’s always the same. I’m always the degenerate, the one who broke the rules growing up while Namjoon followed them. I’m the one who dropped out of college but he’s automatically the better son because he didn’t, and is now working on his PHD. While I work at a small flower shop, with a freelance photography job on the side. I’m the leech they can’t seem to get rid off.” He lets out a shaky sigh before pushing himself away.

“Jungkook d–”

“No, don’t say anything because you’re helping him knowing very well what he’s done to you. You’re feeding into what they want, and you can tell me it’s to benefit yourself. But how many times did I offer to help you pay out your student loans? How many times did I offer to help you find a better job? And you never took it because you wanted to do it yourself and I respected that boundary. But now that he comes back and offers you the same things with an added marriage proposal on top. You suddenly decide to take up on the offer.” He rants, running a tattooed hand through his long hair. “It fucking sucks because I know he’s going to hurt you and I don’t know if I can be there for you when he does because even if I have never had any sort of romantic feelings for you. I do love you and it hurt so much seeing you so broken and not being able to do anything about it.” He paces, invisibly mapping out the situation with his hands.

“And I can’t even fully hate him either because he is my brother and not many people understand our relationship but I know he loves me. He just has this weird ass way of showing it, and if he hurts you again, I’ll be put in the middle and I don’t want that because I can’t leave you alone and I can’t leave him alone either.” He breathes out, dropping his head feeling defeated.

It’s everything he wanted to tell you yesterday at the flower shop, but he didn’t want Yoongi to see him like this. Truthfully he wasn’t going to let you know either, but seeing the happiness on his parents' faces made him feel more bitter than usual.

You walk to stand in front of him, placing your hands on top of his shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Jungkook clicks his tongue in annoyance before shaking his head in disbelief. “I know a part of you still loves him and I know that part will fall for him the second he starts acting like the old Namjoon again. I can’t stop you and I can’t stop him either.”

“You out of all people know that I’m not the same person I was then and you know why. You’re right the person that loved him is still inside here but she knows better. I won’t fall for him the way I did then and what happened that night won’t happen again.” You say, hugging him tightly again. “I appreciate you worrying about me, but I can take care of myself.” You whisper, rubbing his back lightly.

He sighs, finally hugging you back and kissing the top of your head gently. “I wish it was Jimin instead.” He adds, making you laugh a bit at the end. That was a whole new can of worms you didn’t want to get into.

At least not now at your fake fiance's parents house.

“I was scared.” He admits, burying his head into your neck. “When you called me and told me to pick you up in tears. I honestly never wanted to kill anyone more than I did that night.” He whispers. You blink away the tears forming in your eyes. Jungkook’s never been honest with you about what he felt that night. You never asked because you were scared of knowing the truth. And now that he’s voiced it you can’t help but feel your heart break all over again.

“I’m sorry, I did–”

“No, don’t be sorry it’s not your fault that he–”

“Am I interrupting something?” Namjoon’s curiosity breaks the two of you apart in an instant. Quickly you wipe away the fallen tears from your cheeks. You step away further from Jungkook while he does the same, avoiding eye contact with the older man as if you’ve been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to.

Namjoon has always had a wild imagination, hence his profession of choice. And right now his imagination is running him up a road he knows he shouldn’t go down. He had been looking for you for at least fifteen minutes, and when he heard your voice along with Jungkook’s voice coming through the patio screen door. He couldn’t think straight, especially not after hearing his little brother be so vulnerable, but he also couldn’t help but wonder what else the two of you were talking about.

As far as he’s concerned the infamous fight between the two of you happened in your old bedroom. Your parents were out on a date and he had come over so you could look over one of his essays. He left your house in a hurry, getting on his bike and pedaling as fast as he could to get away from your house with his heart pounding against his throat.

Had you gone somewhere else after?

Now, he needed to know, only because his curiosity would not let him forget until he knew. It was one of his fatal flaws. Probably the most annoying one.

“Um, I know you came with Kook but it would be weird now if you left with him.” He too feels weird, especially because the two of you looked like you’ve just stolen three cookies out of the jar before dinner. He hates it, it only feeds the little curious demon inside of him. “I have to be somewhere at five so I came to tell you that I’ll take you home but we have to leave in like fifteen minutes to beat the traffic.” He nods, scratching the back of his neck before taking a look between the two of you, and it suddenly hits him like a truck.

Wait, were the two of you secretly seeing each other. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Wait, but what about that Jimin guy? Hold on, were you seeing the of them at the same time, hol–

“It’s fine we are done here.” Jungkook looks over at you, giving you a smile to ease your overwhelming anxiety, and walks to the entrance, patting Namjoon’s arm before heading inside.

There’s a pregnant pause between the two of you, before you decide that it’s been long enough for you to go back inside too. Before you even get the chance to move, Namjoon speaks up, burning his stare into yours.

“Are you seeing each other?” He voices out, finally giving in. He regrets it because the look on your face makes him realize that he’s said the wrong thing.

“You’ve been saying a lot of stupid shit lately.” You shake your head, taking it as your sign to leave. If you have to be in a car with him for an hour. You might as well save your energy. His genetic material is full of nonsense. “I’ll wait for you inside.” You say walking in and leaving him alone in the barren patio.

He can’t help but wonder about a lot of things. All of them start and end with you.

Namjoon is driving.

It’s a view you never thought you would ever see. Back when the two of you were friends he had very strong opinions about driving. The one time you asked after he showed up at the coffee shop drenched in rain water.

He said, “The world will be better without me on the road.” He laughed running off to ask the workers for a towel.

“What?” Namjoon says after stopping at a red light and looking over at you. One eyebrow raised.

“Nothing, it’s just strange.” You shrug. “I never thought I’d see you driving.” You point out, watching as the red light turns green. He steps on the gas, making a smooth right turn and glances over at you. A smirk painted on his features.

“I got tired of biking everywhere.” He says, leaning his right arm on the middle counsel. “This is also more convenient than asking JK to drive me everywhere when it rains or snows.”

You nod looking out the window. “What happened to priding yourself in having a small carbon footprint and world peace or whatever?”

Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head “I still bike most of the time just not to moms house or when it rains. As for the world peace thing. I don’t think being off the roads will stop wars.” He pulls the car to a stop and looks over at you again. Now that the two of you are alone he can’t help but think that maybe you did get a little prettier than what he remembers. Though you still don’t compare to all the women he’s ever dated. Most of them being nepo babies or supermodels. You’re still quite attractive, maybe in another life he wouldn’t have thought twice about sharing a life with you. But you still weren’t the woman of his dreams. Though, the more he navigates through life he’s realizing that such a person simply doesn’t exist.

If they did he wouldn’t be here in the car with you.

“Oh,” you jump up as if you just remembered something important. And before Namjoon can begin to understand what was happening the light turns green again and he’s pressing on the gas pedal. “I forgot to give this to you.” You say, holding out your hand in his view of sight with his mothers ring.

“Keep it.” He says without missing a beat. You’re shocked and you’re about to fight against him, but he beats you to it. “We’re going to be spending lots of time together. It’d be weird if you didn’t wear it when we’re together.” He reasons. It makes sense but you hated every second that passed by in which you had it on.

In a few months it wouldn’t be yours anymore. Plus it just felt wrong to be wearing it knowing it will someday go to someone else.

“You can just keep it and then when we go to places together, just give it to me.” You nudge his arm with your open hand. He glances down at it before looking out to the road.

“No need, you’ll be moving in anyway.” He nonchalantly says, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn’t drop another bomb on you.

Moving in?

This whole deal was taking turns that you didn’t expect. You knew he offered you a house in which you honestly weren’t going to take. But you didn’t think you’d be moving in with him. From what Jungkook tells you his apartment is more of a museum than a home. And you like your little apartment. It was perfect for one person, it had everything you needed and it was close to two subway stations. It was absolutely perfect and the rent wasn’t crazy expensive.

Rent.

That’s another thing to take into consideration. Would he make you pay for rent if you did by some miracle agree to moving in, because you’re more than positive you wouldn’t be able to afford it. Not now with your passable income from the flower shop. Of course, that chapter of your life will soon come to an end, but even working as a professor in your prestigious alma mater wouldn’t be enough to pay whatever crazy amount his rent is.

“Hold on, that wasn’t in our deal.” You close your hand in a fist and bring it down onto your lap turning your entire body to face him.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. “The cats out of the bag what would people think when they figure out we are engaged but not living together.” He pulls up into the parking lot of your apartment building and puts the car in park. He turns his entire body to face you, one hand gripping onto the steering wheel. “I don’t think you understand how crazy mom can be. She will be over unannounced every other day now that she knows we’re getting married. It’s best to avoid all those questions because they can get invasive.” He states, turning off the engine and opening up his door. He looks over at you. “I can’t stay long but I’ll walk you to your door.”

You were beginning to get annoyed with how nonchalant he was acting about all of this. For a person who claims this was all fake he seemed to be trying his hardest to make it seem as real as possible. You’re starting to wonder if you should set up some ground rules first before you make such a serious decision.

What if you do move in? When all this is over what will happen to you?

You have no doubt in your mind that he will kick you out the second he gets tired of this scheme. You have no doubt in your mind that he will begin to act like this never happened. It is what he does best. He crosses boundaries and when you make it known he acts like he didn’t and that you were in the wrong the entire time.

It’s what happened then, but this time it will be different. This time you’re determined to keep your guard up as high as a skyscraper. This time you won’t fall for his smile, his charm, his laugh or his heart. This time you’re going to put yourself first and to be able to do that you need to have a serious conversation. Set some ground rules before you can continue anything else.

“Namjoon, wait.” You say as he’s getting out of the car. He rounds the front and opens the passenger door for you.

“What, I need to be somewhere in fifteen minutes, let’s go.” He rushes out looking down at his Rolex then you.

You get down from his car, stepping to the side as he closes the door. “We need to talk about this.” You use your pointer finger to single the space between the two of you.

He lets out an annoyed sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We will, but not today. We can have lunch next Wednesday after you come in for training.”

“Namjoon I just don’t think you understand. You’re making all these choices without getting my opinion first. I understand you want your parents to believe that we are actually engaged. And I understand that you have a lot left to lose. But you’re not the only one in this. I get to have say in this too and I–”

Namjoon holds his hand out to your face, blocking your words from coming out. “I get it and believe me I would love to talk about it because we have a lot of things to discuss but I really can’t today. I have a dinner meeting with a coworker and I need to pick her up in—” he looks down at his watch and up, “-in ten minutes.” He finishes and starts walking in front of you.

A dinner meeting? On a Sunday? With another woman?

You don’t want to be that person. You firmly do believe that men and women are able to be friends without anything romantic and sexual happening between them. But he’s acting a little bit suspicious and you can’t help but wonder if he’s going out on a date.

God, you’re so annoyed it’s honestly becoming very tiring. And you’ve only been fake engaged for a few hours. You can’t begin to imagine what the next months will be like or for however long he plans to keep up the scheme.

He calls out your name. He’s standing in front of your building entrance, snapping his fingers to hurry you up.

“I’m not a dog.” You roll your eyes, and push past him. You press the button to the automatic door and hold your hand out before he can take another step. “And I don’t need an escort.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“And you’re going to be late for your date.” You state stepping inside, leaving him floored with your little outburst. He wants to follow you and tell you a few choice words, but the ringing of his phone keeps him from pressing the button again.

He can talk to you another day. Right now you’re right about one thing. He is late. Even if it’s not a date like you have just assumed. He hates being late to places.

In a relationship.

The little phrase next to yours and Namjoons name has been haunting you since you got the notification last night. Least to say you had not gotten a wink of sleep. You had messaged Namjoon asking him what it was all about. The two of you had not talked since Sunday and making your fake relationship official on Facebook for friends and family to see was definitely something you didn’t see him doing.

It had caught you by surprise. What surprised you the most was the comments underneath the status, offering you kind words and congratulations. The few “it's about time,” comments had set you off. You weren’t sure if it was because you were engaged or because the two of you were engaged to each other. It had your mind racing in all sorts of directions.

Yet, what really didn’t let you sleep was Taehyung’s messages and Jimin’s cryptic “it all makes sense now,” text you had woken up too.

Your fake fiance always prided in living a life away from the drama. And while he’s having a blast living a fantasy you were on the other end receiving nasty messages from your friends and what you assumed were women he had been with once upon a time.

It was all getting too much. You were supposed to be enjoying your last shift ever at Euphoria before you ventured off into the world for bigger and better things. But here you were blocking comments and ignoring Taehyung’s angry spam and Jimini’s nasty comments, with a knot at the base of your throat.

You’ve never hated Namjoon more than you did now. Since he was ignoring you, probably annoyed with your constant pleading to delete the status. You would have to wait until you saw him again next week to scream in his face.

What didn’t help was that Jungkook had called in sick, so you were stuck with the brooding owner, sending you a glare whenever he heard you sigh.

“Okay, out with it. What has you acting like the queen has died?” He cuts a stem off a rose, before placing it in the middle of a few baby breath branches.

You put your phone down, face down hoping it would somehow keep the notifications from coming. “First the queen has died. Second, Namjoon is so fucking annoying. I…ugh.” You let out a frustrated sigh. Probably the thousandth one of the day before putting your head in your head, cradling it.

The headache that you had woken up with after three restless hours of sleep was only growing to be worse. You hear the older man laugh before patting your back awkwardly. “I think this is the part in which Jungkook would be saying I told you so, but I still fully support you getting the bag you deserve, and unfortunately whatever he did is part of the consequences you just have to face.” He states proudly before retrieving his hand and going back to the bouquet he was working on.

You raise your head, hoping your glare would bury him six feet underneath the ground. “You’re no help sometimes. I don’t know why I even ask for your advice.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue before shaking his head, “You see that’s where you’re wrong. You didn’t ask for my advice. I’m just telling you the honest truth. Now if you can’t take it then you shouldn’t have accepted the deal in the first place.” He shrugs, wiping his hands on his apron before grabbing a pair of scissors. He goes to the ribbon wall behind him, taping his chin with the tip of them in thought.

“What did he do this time anyway?” He says getting a hold of a lavender one and measuring it before cutting it off.

You lift up your phone, opening it quickly and navigating yourself through the homescreen before clicking the bright blue app. “This! He did this without letting me know.” You extend your phone showing him the status.

He leans his head forward squinting his eyes before breaking out into a smile. “Congratulations, I knew the two of you would be perfect together.” He jokes, making you groan out in annoyance. He chuckles, cutting up some flower bouquet paper. “Jokes aside, that is an asshole move, but what else would we expect from the devil himself.” He says grabbing the bouquet and placing it in the middle of the pale pink paper. “You knew what you were signing up for.”

“Ugh, I know, I know, I know. I don’t need you to remind me.” You push yourself off the counter as soon as the bell to the shop dings signaling someone has walked in. “It’s the aftermath of his actions that’s sending me up the wall. I really ha–” You turn around putting your best customer service smile only for it to fade away the minute your eyes come into contact with ones you’ve grown up with.

The warmth they once held for you is gone, now replaced with stone cold anger.

“Jimin.”

“Do you want to explain to me what’s going on?” He pushes his way past you and walks to the aisle full of supplies. “Because the last time we talked you told me you weren’t ready to be in a relationship and as much as it hurt I respected that but now you’re here engaged. And to Namjoon?” He says exasperated. You follow him, thanking god the shop was empty because this wasn’t where you wanted to have this conversation.

You knew it would eventually come and you would have no other option but to have it. Yet, lately the world has been throwing curveballs at you left and right since Namjoon came back into your life. So, what else could you expect?

Plus Jimin has never been one to keep his emotions bottled up. It’s one of things you admire most about him. When he was angry he would voice it. When he was sad he would cry freely and explain why. And when he was happy and in love he had no shame in letting the whole world know. Which is why you couldn’t continue anything with him anymore. Even if he was the one that made you feel comfortable again in your body and encouraged you to explore things with him. You didn’t feel anything towards him other than friendship. It’s not like you didn’t try. You did the moment you realized he had fallen for you months ago. It’s probably why you prolonged cutting things off with him, but you couldn’t do that to him anymore.

Not when he had verbally confessed and was giving you everything he should’ve been giving to someone who didn’t view him as more than a friend. The two of you should’ve listened to everyone who said it was a bad idea, but both of you were stubborn. That’s something you aren’t afraid to admit. Unfortunately the decision the two of you made almost a year ago was now coming back to bite the two of you in the ass. Though for some reason it felt like you were getting the shorter end of the stick with everything that had gone down in the last few days.

Maybe you were cursed?

“Min I can explain.” You whisper yell, reaching out to him. He retracts, throwing his hands up and steps away from you.

“No, I don’t need you to explain anything to me. I saw what that man did to you and you went back to him after cutting things off with me.” He spits out, venom laced in his voice as he cards a shaky hand through his already messy hair. He stops for a second biting his bottom lip and looks over at you.

“Were you seeing him while we were together? Were you with me when he couldn’t be with you? Because I can’t even begin to explain how fucked up that is. Especially for someone like you but I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.” He rants, his hands shaking as he finds somewhere to put them to hide the visible anger he is feeling inside.

“It’s not like that Min, please just let me explain.” You plead, taking cautious steps closer to him. Gripping your apron tightly to keep yourself from crying. This is why you admired your oldest friend for the longest time. He wore his heart on his sleeve whereas you couldn’t let yourself cry in fear of looking pitiful and weak.

He takes one final look at you before shaking his head. “No, I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to stay out of my life.” He says before walking past you, bumping your shoulder with his and walking out.

This is what you feared the most. Losing him. You did have the intention of telling him what was happening when the time was right. This whole situation with Namjoon wasn’t something you ever intended on keeping a secret from both him and Taehyung, but of course you could never walk at your own pace.

For as long as you can remember nobody ever let you march to the beat of your own drum. Everyone around you always forced you to act whenever it was suitable for them. And right now as much as you were at fault too, you couldn’t help but blame Namjoon and his impatience.

Every day that went by, you realize how much this was inconveniencing you rather than benefiting you like you had originally thought.

“Now, I think this is the part in which Jungkook would say I told you so.” Yoongi speaks out from behind you.

You roll your eyes, shake your head and send him a glare. In a haste you untie your apron and rip it off. “I quit.” You say walking past the counter and throwing the fabric onto it.

Yoongi shrugs, trying his best to give you a reassuring smile in which it looks like he’s in pain instead. “Impossible when you only had five more minutes left of your final shift.”

That’s the last thing you hear him say before walking into the back and finally letting your tears fall down.

You’ve had your fair share of heartbreaks in the past.

When you were five you had your first boyfriend–Paul. A blooming relationship that lasted merely three days. On the first day of school he gave you a note with a poorly drawn flower and “I love you” written in the center. In his best five year old handwriting. On the second day he kissed you in the line on the way to Spanish class–dared by his best friend–Pedro. And on the last day, he played with you on the playground but on the way back to class he was holding hands with another girl.

Your first heartbreak.

Then you embarrassingly harbored a crush on him for three years after. In fifth grade–Christian had stolen your heart as soon as you saw his crooked smile and overly slicked back hair, but of course he had picked the prettier and meaner girl in class–Yuni.

Your second heartbreak.

Though, the infatuation didn’t last long, you forgot about him as soon as you entered middle school.  But you remember your heart beating out of time when you saw him at Sunday school. You were in seventh grade. Your body was changing. You felt awkward as hell listening to a sermon while fantasizing what it would be like to hold his hand.

When you were fifteen on the other hand. All hell broke loose.

You fell out of love with a lot of firsts in your life, and everything felt so black and white. Things that made you happy. That you viewed as pillars slowly started fading away. It started with ballet, then it trickled down to your studies. You didn’t feel like doing anything, your feelings were confusing and you felt angry with everything and everyone around you. To add the cherry on top your crush of possibly four years broke your heart–Jung Hoseok.

He was perfect. He was tan, tall, and handsome. He had a beautiful smile with moony eyes. He was funny and smart and loved to dance. You had met him during your first dance practice back in seventh grade. All it took was a smile, a wink and a killer freestyle for you to fall head over heels for him. He was nice, he sat with you during lunch whenever Taehyung and Jimin had a different one. He helped you out with your math homework and he even cracked jokes about your favorite boy band at the time. He would ask you about your day and make sure you didn’t skip your meals.

Jimin and Taehyung were so tired hearing you yap about him twenty four seven and so they offered to help you out. The three of you came up with a plan on how to confess to him, but all of that went down the drain one Wednesday afternoon.

The tears didn’t start falling when you saw the self proclaimed bad boy holding hands with one of the popular girls from school–Harley. They came after when you ran out of the dance studio because Of course it had to be her. God had blessed her with the perfect genes. The perfect hair, the perfect smile, the perfect body, and she was a way better dancer than you. She was beautiful and you were a colorless painting next to her that lacked detail. You had acne on your forehead, and even if you had ditched the contacts and braces a year prior. Your hair was still frizzy, and your body wasn’t desirable. Your boobs were practically non-existent, your hips were too wide and your stomach wasn’t flat

It sucked because you seriously thought he could’ve been it. He had been it for a while. You pulled back. Curating a home in a fantasy world, caging your heart in. Despite your friends being protective over you like a little sister. Their protection was nothing compared to how locked up you had your heart. That is until you met Kim Namjoon–and that also ended in a disaster. After that you didn’t give a fuck, you let men come and go. Use you for their needs until one night you awoke from your slumber. Sadly it had already been too late.

Jimin was there to repair you brick by brick. He helped you rediscover yourself in more ways than one. He helped you feel comfortable in your body. Something that was so foreign to you it took lots of trial and error. Yet, you broke him.

Despite all the heartbreak you have experienced in your life. This had to be the one that hurt the most, because you hurt him, and nothing you do will ever bring him back to you.

All because you wanted to have the upper hand.

This is why you disliked Kim Namjoon. Just like he brought you back to life he had dulled you at the same time. He made you feel special but at the same time ordinary; and because of him–though it wasn’t his entire fault you were equally to blame–you had lost one of the most important people in your life.

In honor of such event you had been avoiding the world for the entirety of three days. On the fourth day–today–you had finally forced yourself out of bed.

It was your first day of training at your new job which meant you were going to be in the same room with your nemesis AKA your fake fiance. Listening to him brag about how much better he is at everything.

Everything was a shit show.

You purposely took the longer route, hoping it would work calming you down. The Cherry Blossoms were finally blooming, signaling the end of a bitter winter and the birth of a new chapter in your life. You had hoped that Jimin and Taehyung would have been here for the ride, after you explained everything. You didn’t get the chance too and now the two of them were acting as if there wasn’t a decade of memories between the two of you.

Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your hot pink slacks. You weren’t going to be teaching yet, just observing some classes and following Namjoon around while he condescendingly explained what your life would be like as a University Professor.

Are you close? - N

You rolled your eyes at the message. You had been scheduled to come in at ten-thirty. It was ten on the dot and he was already rushing you. You begin to wonder if this is what it was going to be like the entire time the two of you will be together.

Don’t forget to wear your ring, we’re going to mom’s for dinner tonight. - N

The annoyed sigh made its way out of you before you could stop it. You hope that it won’t always be like this. Him making plans for you without consulting you first. Or him outing the relationship is such an irresponsible way without letting you know. If he was going to make every single decision for you, then you will call things off. You had taken the entirety of your night writing down a list of demands in order for you to continue things.

Well it was more of a list of things that annoyed you about him. A list in which you only hoped the two of you could come to a compromise. You don’t want to change him. Mostly because he is stubborn and doesn’t see anything wrong with himself no matter how many times people close to him have mapped it out for him. He won’t turn the other way keeping his ground. All you want to do is meet in the middle for however long he wants to keep this charade up.

One of my TAs  is waiting for you at the front of the building. I’m assuming you know the way. She will show you around and I will meet you for lunch. Don’t be late. - N

The third text came in making you grip your phone tightly in your hand. Even when he wasn’t around he somehow manages to make you want to scream out in anger.

I’m five minutes away.

You reply, putting your phone away and ignoring the last text he sends you. You will not let him ruin your last few minutes of freedom.

Eunseo is amazing.

She immediately greeted you in high spirits and complemented your hot pink blazer and slacks combo. And offered to carry around your bag because to her it seemed too heavy, but you refused.

Despite having attended HYBE U almost a decade ago. It hadn’t changed much. There were a few new buildings to compensate for the enrollment capacity, and a carpark where dorms used to be. But other than those slight changes nothing had changed. Even the large field in between the common hall and the dorms was still the same. The trees always bloomed beautifully in the Spring. Though you couldn’t ignore the pang you felt in your chest while walking through the field with Eunseo as she talked about her classes and how much she looked up to Mr. Kim.

This was where you found out you were in love with Namjoon all those years ago. It was Fall, the foliage was at its peak and the leaves were just starting to fall down. The two of you had decided to meet here instead of the cafe that day to enjoy the weather a little more before it turned gray. There was a particularly strong wind and the leaves came rustling down landing on the two of you making the both of you laugh. The sun was shining in the most perfect way possible, his skin glowed underneath it and something inside of you turned.

That day all you could do was think about him. You fell asleep dreaming about his smile and woke up expecting his scent to cloud over you like a blanket.

It was so beautiful yet tragic and you had never turned back since then.

That is until he turned on you.

With the way Eunseo was describing him. You could almost picture him being the same way he was when he tutored you. According to Eunseo he was funny, kind and really cared about his students. He always went out of his way to explain the material in ways his students could understand, and listened to everybody’s opinion extensively. But he also challenged them and pushed them to work harder.

He loved his job and profession more than anything in the world. It’s something you always did admire about him. Even on late nights or when the stress was too much for him to handle. He always found a way to look at it in a different light. For some time you had wished he would’ve done that with you when you confessed your feelings to him. That night he was someone you had never known. It was like something switched off inside of him and he became the heartless jackass you’ve come to know about in recent years.

“You’re very lucky. He will be such an amazing husband.” Eunseo said bringing out of your long train of thought. You stopped dead in your tracks, surprised as she giggled at your reaction.

“H-How do you know.” You clear your throat, bringing your hand up to your chest and playing with the little aquamarine pendant you never take off.

“He told me before I went down to meet with you.” She shrugs, grabbing onto the straps of her backpack. “Don’t worry he’s only told me and I don’t have many friends to tell. So your secret’s safe with me.” She winks turning around and skipping away.

You shake your head and follow her trying to keep up as best as you can. Maybe wearing heels wasn’t the brightest idea, but it was your first day on the job. You need to make a good impression on your future co-workers. In which you hadn’t met yet, but you assumed it was because Namjoon would be the one to introduce you and he was currently in a lecture.

You jump when you hear your name being called from across the field. You turn around quickly as Namjoon makes his way to you. His beige trench coat blowing in the wind. The combination of his nike’s, light blue jeans, and airy button down shirt was more casual than what you expected. Even his hair wasn’t styled. He looked stress free or a normal person.

“Mr. Kim, I have taken care of her and now I am returning her to you in one piece. Just like you instructed.” Eunseo says from beside you. You look over at her. She’s wearing such a bright smile on her face. Her proudness over such a nimble task makes you chuckle. A moment you will never forget now because it’s made you realize how much you desire to inspire someone.

The same way Namjoon has inspired her.

“Thanks Eunseo.” Namjoon replies once he gets closer, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his coat. He looks you up and down, raising his brows before turning over to his student. “This doesn’t mean you’re getting extra credit or an extension on your next paper.”

“It was worth the shot.” She smiles, sending him finger guns making him laugh. She turns to face you, “It was so nice to meet you Mrs. Kim, I’ll be sure to keep on the lookout for your class next semester.” She says giving you an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I’ll see you in class Mr. Kim.” She finishes before turning around and heading down the path leading to the library.

“She’s not going to turn in her paper on time.” Namjoon says from next to you shaking his head. “But she’s one of my best students. Somehow her papers always manage to impress me even if I threaten to take away a whole letter grade for every late paper. It somehow motivates her to do even better and I can’t.” He sighs and looks over at you. “Did you find everything okay, I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you. I told the office to schedule you after my classes today but they refused. Even being head of a department has very little perks.”

You look around quickly to see if anybody was around. There were a few students making their way to classes but each of them were engrossed with their phones or notes or conversations amongst themselves. They weren’t paying any attention to the two of you. So, he didn’t have to act so nice. “You’re so strange.” You comment, widening your eyes and covering your mouth as quickly as possible.

Namjoon rolls his eyes before sticking his hand out for you to take. “And you’re so nice.” He retaliates. The slight pang of bitterness slicing through his words. You almost feel relieved that he was still in there somewhere.

“Thanks, you bring out the best in me.” You take his hand, watching as he interlaced your fingers with his, forcefully pulling you to walk.

“Whatever, let’s just go to lunch. I’m starving. We can talk about things then.”

Okay you take it back. HYBE U was definitely still not the same.

There was a whole dining hall with the bougiest restaurants that you one hundred percent would not have been able to afford when you were a student here. You assume that’s why it’s pretty empty, except for a few faculty.

Namjoon and you had been sitting in silence since the two of you sat down after ordering. Your mouth almost fell open when you saw an avocado toast for almost twenty dollars. Thankfully Namjoon had offered to pay. Now the two of you were waiting for your overpriced food in complete silence. You weren’t sure what to say if you were honest.

Hey thanks for the job, you're still an asshole though.

Or

My best friends hate me because you ruined my life and now they think that what we have is real because you decided to make it official on Facebook. And like who uses Facebook anyway you old man.

In the end you settle for the nice quiet, listening to the ambience around you until your food arrives. The waiter carefully places your plates in the middle of the table and the two of you quietly thank him. Then Namjoon clears his throat, grabbing your attention.

“I usually bring my own lunch but I like this place whenever I forget to cook.” He cuts the toast in half and puts one of them on your plate, and makes sure you get a piece of avocado too.

“You cook?” You tilt your head to the side, picking up your utensils and poking the soft egg in the middle, letting the yolk run.

Namjoon nods, placing some pasta on your plate. “Jin taught me a couple years ago.” He hands you a napkin and starts filling up his plate. You have no idea who this Jin guy is. Namjoon says his name as if you’re supposed to know already, but you’re curious. Namjoon was a genius but he was a complete incompetent buffoon in the kitchen. You can’t explain how many times you witnessed him and Jungkook fighting in front of you whenever you were over their house because he always burned the simplest things. It would stink up the kitchen and Jungkook would lose it because he always lost at rock paper scissors and ended up being the one to clean the kitchen.

“Who’s Jin?” You wipe your mouth, and take a bite of the pasta humming in delight. Maybe the price of the food was worth it.

“He owns the gym Kook and I go too. He sometimes comes over, you’ll meet him soon.” He clarifies.

You nod, letting the silence consume the two of you once again because what else are you supposed to say. Instead you just take another bite of your food.

Maybe if you prayed hard enough, Jungkook would waltz in and break the awkward air looming between the two of you. Of course you had things to say to him, but how were you supposed to bring it up if the conversation wasn’t going down the route.

“Kook’s mad isn’t he?” Namjoon puts down his fork and takes a sip of his water. “I saw him at the gym last night and he almost beat the shit out of me.” He chuckles like it’s no big deal.

“He’s not the only one.” You retort, reaching into your bag and taking out a sheet of notebook paper in a plastic sleeve and place it on the table. Not the most professional looking thing but you were short on time.

“Lo–” Namjoon starts, you assume he’s going to defend himself and his actions. But he doesn’t get very far because you immediately cut him off.

“No, I understand you want everybody to believe whatever this is.” You say pointing between the two of you. “But there’s not just one person in this act. You can’t keep making choices without consulting me first. The brunch was fine. I was able to come up with something on the spot. But the moving in is not, nor is the fucking Facebook status or telling your student or the dinner we have with your mom tonight.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes, “It’s a stupid status is not a big deal.” He takes a bite of pasta. The nonchalance in his demeanor causes the anger you had somehow managed to push away resurface once again.

“It is a big deal Namjoon. Because of that stupid status, neither Jimin or Taehyung are talking to me. You didn’t give me the chance to tell them and finding out through the internet is a pretty shitty thing.” You try to reason. He pokes his cheek with his tongue and crosses his arms.

“Isn’t Jimin the guy you were with at the party? You two were pretty close.”

“He was my best friend. But because of your actions he’s cut off all communication with me.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing the two of you aren’t friends anymore. He looked pretty comfortable touching you at Taehyung’s place.” He says looking around then you. Yeah, you’re adding this to the list of dumbshit he says. Hopefully by the end of this you’ll be able to publish a whole book.

“Are you listening to yourself?” You say tapping your ears. “You sound so dumb right now.” You shake your head, suddenly losing your appetite. He does bring out the worst in you, and you’re beginning to regret ever saying yes in the first place. “Jimin and I used to fuck and sure things were a little rocky between us since the night of the party. But I still care for him. He's still someone important to me and you’re not respecting that. You outed our relationship to the whole world without consulting me first and you keep doing shit without asking if I am okay with it.”

“It sounds like you’re just looking for someone to blame instead of owning up to whatever you did to your precious Jimin.” He shrugs, digging into his avocado toast. You truly want to dump his iced americano all over his head, but your hushed voices are getting a bit louder and people are starting to take notice.

“You’re completely missing the point. This isn’t about me or Jimin’s relationship. This is about you not willing to see that in order for this to continue you need to include me in big decisions like that. I am my own person Namjoon. I have a life outside of this, and you can’t just expect me to stop it and be at your mercy whenever you need me. What if I had plans tonight?”

“Then you cancel them. This is important.”

“Fucking hell, are you not listening to me. I honestly have no idea how to explain this to you in an easier way or without sounding like a broken record. I’m not a doll Namjoon, you can’t wind me up when you need me. I am a fucking human being and you’re not treating me like one. If this continues I will literally call this whole shit off.”  You pick up your fork and forcefully shove some pasta in your mouth.

“You can’t do that. You promised.” He accuses with his finger, furrowing his brows in anger.

You roll your eyes and swallow. “Just like you, I can also break promises.” You shrug before sliding your forgotten list towards him. “These are my rules, if you can’t follow them then I swear  Namjoon I’ll call your mom and tell her everything, and it would totally suck I mean this job seems to be amazing.” You threaten crossing your arms in front of you.

He huffs, snatching the list from the table and reading them. This time you welcome the silence as you wait for him to finish. After what seems like his third run through he puts the list down again, your bubbly handwriting makes his head hurt a little. He could never understand why you always wrote in colorful pens and marked your i’s with hearts.

In his opinion it was overrated and you were a full grown adult, not a toddler.

“You can’t expect to change me. This isn’t forever.” He says like he’s reminding you. Despite you being his fake fiance he never really assumed you would expect him to remain monogamous. He was still a man with needs and he refused to touch you in that way.

“I’m not asking you too. I’m asking you to meet me in the middle and respect me a little more. I know you hate me but I’m not your biggest fan either. Yet, I agreed to this and I am here.”

He tugs his bottom lip in between his teeth in thought. He stares into his plate of food for what seems like hours. He could do that. Maybe things won’t be so unbearable if the two of you were just walking side by side rather than on opposite ends. He also can’t deny that you’re a little right, this was harder than he assumed. You are definitely not the pliant girl he knew once. Maybe this version of you excites him a little, but of course he won’t ever admit that to anyone. He’s already having a hard time admitting it to himself. If you’re going to ask him to meet you in the middle with your annoying list of demands then he’s going to ask the same of you.

Eye for an eye.

“Fine, but only if you agree to move in with me.”

“That’s ridiculous. I don't understand why I can’t just be at my place. I mean you just said this wasn’t forever.” You mumble.

“Ahh then I guess I’ll just rip this up.” He says taking out your sheet of paper and holding it out in front of him ready to shred it.

You panic and hold your hand out to stop him. “Fuck fine, I’ll move in with you.”

“Perfect, I’ll clear out the guest bedroom this week and you can move in on Saturday.” He smirks, and resumes to his meal.

Once again he’s won, but you will find a way to have the upper hand one of these days. “This is so dumb I still don’t understand your reasoning.”

There’s a part of Namjoon that also doesn’t understand it. That part of him he’s pushed away for years. It’s the part of him that wants you there with him. It’s incredibly selfish. He’s aware he’s asking too much of you already, but he hopes having you in his home will give him an excuse to come home. Lately, he’s been tired of just his plants and artwork receiving him when he gets home.

Yet, that’s something he won’t ever admit out loud either.

“It just makes things easier.” He shrugs, shutting down the conversation. Leaving you to wonder if his actions have more meaning to them than his words.

[queenvhagar]

you know what they should've done instead of shoving these ridiculous rhaenicent scenes down our throats? building the relationship between aegon and rhaenyra! how the hell am i supposed to care about a civil war between a brother and sister when they haven't said a single word to each other onscreen? idek if they've expressed opinions about the other aside from rhaenyra's jarring insistence on calling aegon "alicent's son." i mean, yes, that's objectively who he is, but damn, she can't even call him her half-brother? there's such a disconnect between them that it's going to be hugely anticlimactic and honestly weird towards the end when they have their first conversation ever onscreen, if that. hell, in f&b they at least talk about each other, in hotd they're total strangers that it's almost hard to imagine them being in the same room, something that's happened less than a handful of times.

Rhaenyra's line in the finale "still you defend him!" would've had MUCH more weight if we could have seen ANYTHING about their relationship explored onscreen. At this point they're strangers. What if we could have seen the resentment and rivalry? Rhaenyra, resenting Aegon because he is the king's firstborn son and people want him to be king instead of her, and acting coldly toward him his entire life. Aegon, resenting Rhaenyra because she's the only one who gets any attention, affection, or favor from their father, and knowing deep down that he will have to die if she wants to rule unchallenged, thanks to the world they live in and their father's blatant favoritism blinding him from the danger of trying to place a daughter before a son. The Rhaenyra-Alicent axis falls apart no matter what and largely because Alicent is a background figure in the Greens, leading through soft power and influence over her sons. Obviously the show's attempt at Rhaenyra and Alicent leading their respective sides in the war and the conflict hinging on their rivalry has failed, as now Alicent isn't even Team Green anymore, essentially destroying what little was left of the faction opposing Rhaenyra.

[barely-medi0cre]

George Michael Bluth

A Quick Look at one of my favorite characters

Arrested development is basically like a series of unfortunate events if it were made into an adult comedy.

So the sadder parts are all left as jokes or punchlines.

When really, if it were a drama, the characters would appear completely different.

George Michael is a key example of this, he’s held to almost perfection standards by his dad, who he also would spend all his time with until he gets a girlfriend. Like his dad makes him go on atkins for literally no reason and he clearly hates it but is too scared to say anything.

Or when he gets an A- on a test (still an A though) and when he comes home and shows his dad and says “I got an A!” And his dad keeps cutting him off and saying “minus” before telling him to get back to his room and study. Later his dad walks in on him studying and literally beating himself up over not getting a problem, calling himself stupid over and over again.

Of course, this is the episode where Michael (his dad) and Lindsey (Michael’s twin) are arguing over parenting. She says he’s too strict and is going to give George Michael a nervous breakdown. Naturally, after walking in on George Michael beating himself up, he tells him to stop and go do something fun. George Michael is very reluctant because he never really does that. He ends up going right to work, because he doesn’t have anything else to do.

Naturally, during this short period of parental freedom, George Michaels uncle Buster (the one who still lives with his mother and is basically a toddler) comes to see him at work to ask him for drugs. Michael has always taught George Michael that “family first” is the most important rule, so of course he keeps it a secret at busters request and tries to get drugs for him. This leads to him going to his uncle Gob, leaving a note asking for drugs, leading to a whole mix up where Michael thinks that he gave George Michael too much freedom and has now caused his son to develop a drug habit.

Rising action, rising action, climax where everything comes to a head with fake cops and real cops and fake drugs and real drugs and weird misunderstandings until everything is laid out, all is forgiven, and things go back to normal

However, since this show is a comedy show, we don’t focus on the fact that George Michael never actually was able to utilize the freedom his dad had given him, instead opting to use his newly free time to take on a really big favor from his family member instead of doing something for himself

His gimmick is that he’s awkward, and comparatively uptight to Maeby’s street smarts and irresponsibility. It creates a fun dynamic for comedy stories, but when you watch it as many times as I have you start to see some of the more serious character traits that are glossed over

This back and forth can only continue if there is no real character development in each of the ensemble members, hence the end of an episode essentially hitting reset on shenanigans for everyone. George Michael is a great character for that because even during the one chance he had to be free or do something for himself, he yet again took on a task that someone in his family asked him to do and assumed he could do it. So when those opportunities of development present themselves, realistically he wouldn’t take them. And if he did, his character development would have to be so minute that it’s barely noticeable.

If this show were a drama, I think there would be considerable emphasis placed on the parallels of George Sr’s relationship with Michael and Michael’s relationship with George Michael. Animosity about the relationship between Michael and George Michael is only brought to Michael’s attention in season four when he is told that is the father-son relationship Ron Howard wanted to make a movie about.

[heyclickadee]

Ahsoka spoilers under the cut:

1. I go back and forth on whether or not Anakin is really Anakin. On the one hand, it could be interesting for it to be some kind of force entity—like the Son from the Mortis trinity or some other thing we don’t know about—that takes Ahsoka through some kind of rigamarole to get what it wants. On the other hand, I kind of want Anakin.

I know there was some concept art for one of the sequel films for Anakin’s force ghost, and the idea behind the concept was that he would shift from Anakin to Vader and back depending on the moment. And whatever the intent behind that, it could be interesting if they took that idea and sort of ran with it in the sense that Anakin did spend almost half his life in the mask, and even though he’s not that person any more, all those years he spent as Vader are still a part of him, and that’s why we got the Vader theme at the end of episode four.

The main thing that keeps me from thinking that it’s definitely Anakin is that we’ve never been given any indication that the World Between Worlds is accessible to the dead. That doesn’t mean it’s not—just that we haven’t seen it yet. We’ve seen the daughter/Morai just kind of show up there, but no force ghosts. Then again, the daughter did die that one time, though I’m not sure how the rules apply to force entities like that, or if there are any rules. So maybe the WBW is accessible to the dead. Then again, I do kind of have a pet theory that Anakin did end up doing the thing that the Father wanted him to do in the first place and took the Father’s place at some point after he died, so there might be a force-entity…ness…to Anakin now. Then again, the force is weird, and who knows if there is that much difference between a force ghost and a force entity besides time, since the priestesses in the Yoda were just different aspects of a person who died a long, long time ago. Tl;dr: I do think there’s a good chance that what Ahsoka’s seeing in the WBW is a force entity of some kind, I’m not sure that means it’s not Anakin, but it also might not be, and I generally have no idea what’s going to happen next.

2. It’s going to be really funny if Thrawn either has no idea what’s going on, or he does, and he’s not at all interested in the imperial remnants machinations and is just using them to get back to his people.

3. “When the stakes are this high? I have to,” wasn’t a yes. Ahsoka trying to convince herself and Sabine that they have to give up on Ezra, Sabine not going along with it and risking everything to go get her adopted brother anyway, and Ahsoka, who’s jaded and tired and had to give up on her adopted brother and is now very unexpectedly getting to see him again? That’s all going to murder me. Between this and whatever is happening in bad batch season three, the family relationships in Star Wars will put me in the ground.

[izartn]

Read Golden Stage/Terrace and was left very meh. Not bad, not a subject of my devotion either. I prefer my stories either full on R Romantic or leaning towards the plot as in Qiang Jin Jiu, so although the story and charas were perfectly fine it was very much just an entertaining way to pass the time.

I was expecting... Less good behaviour from the protags honestly XD and not in terms of scheming; I liked how few fucks they gave towards a correct confucian behaviour lol. But it didn't felt like an enemies to lovers as it was sold, not even a rival to lovers. Lost opportunity to suddenly lovers fits. I liked that they almost had something as teens but Yan Xiaohan duty/role and Fu Shen relative immaturity at court games made that impossible. The Cui Yu incident as the memory Yan Xiaohan keeps to remind himself to not sink so low in the future was nice, as is the fact he is still pretty much amoral and doesn't have any loyalty to the emperor(s) except self-preservation.

In general I was very meh about Fu Shen and his fam, except his nephew and that throwaway line about how he remembers years later when he's in the throne that Yan Xiaohan once told him as a child that he only wanted FS and not the kingdom. I want to know more about that kid's life bc it sounds fascinating just from that smidge of info. He's assured as emperor despite the regency bc he knows that what his uncles want is each other more than the throne. Fascinating.

As I was saying; Yan Xiaohan on the other hand? Bastard son of an emperor with a concubine of that emp's father, raised in a temple for retired court women by a nun and a eunuch, who taught all he needed to make a life for himself and success on the court? Super interesting. And we don't know anything about their relationship except that his adoptive father made him swear to not marry a women and have children so as to not challenge any the ruling line (bc the emperor knew Xiaohan was his son). Like.

Of course I prefer Xiaohan XD

But anyways just a light read in comparison with other danmei and a dynamic that just isn't my kind of visceral romance, desire being very good for each other. Also the wonkers pseudo democracy too. That was weird XD good weird but like. Very much pfft at times. That Fu Shen is all on board bc he's just, so so tired of incompetent bosses, essentially, and also very much dislikes authority is funny too.

Anyways these are my thoughts. Worth giving it a read if you are interested by the premise (I usually despise forced marriage, except when done as in very all we here adults as in Golden Stage or full on going this is fucked up and not endgame so that's one thing it does well) but not my cup of tea.

SPOILERS QIANG JIN JIU

I'm still thinking of Xiao Chiye and Shen Zechuan. And there's no comparison with this novel sorry not sorry. Really liked Ce'an, bc he feels very... realistic as a warlord and also just fantasy enough for the story and romance to work? Both he and Shen Zechuan do. I really liked the way they're attracted to each other at the start despite the antagonism (genuine antagonism!!! their first time is genuine hate sex despite the attraction and burgeoning fondness) and the plotting bc they recognize on each other a yearning from freedom and to be themselves. Then they end the story chained in Qudu by their own volition and by love and mmm. Thematically tasty.

[thephantomcasebook]

Oh, this lack of episodes is driving me crazy haha What do you think Daeron and Alicent's relationship will be like? Since it seems that in the series "her favorite son" is Aemond?

Hmm ...

How i would handle Alicent and Daeron's relationship in the show?

I'd actually like to see Alicent as a close mentor to Daeron, in the same vein that Criston is to Aemond.

I've always maintained that Aegon and Helaena are the most damaged of Alicent's children, because, they were old enough to remember being ignored and unloved by Viserys and what it was to have an absent father.

While as Aemond and Daeron both grew up in a time when Criston and Alicent were together and so they never knew what it was not to have a father that didn't care, cause I don't think that Aemond and Daeron really see Viserys as their father. When they think of their dad, I'm pretty sure both boys think of Criston, because, he's been there their entire lives. Though, Daeron might also see Otto in the same light.

Which is why I feel that Alicent being the Merlin to Daeron's Arthur might actually be interesting.

I think that Daeron has had no shortage of male role models - from Criston to teach him about honor and how to fight, to Otto who taught him how to rule - but I think that Alicent would play a major role in his life as a spiritual and moral adviser as the sort of model, almost angelic, feminine influence of which he has had so very little of in his life.

Growing up being raised by Criston and influenced by his world view and morals, I think both Aemond and Daeron also view Alicent as this saintly or angelic figure of piety. And, having been ripped away from her at a formative age, I think that notion of Alicent would be felt double by Daeron in all the long years he's been away - especially if he's been fighting in the Stepstone Wars. So, I think that, like Criston, Daeron would also view Alicent as this beautiful saintly sage of whom he confesses his sins and takes advise from and comfort in.

It might be that Daredevil is in my top five favorite superheroes and the Netflix show is one of my all time favorite tv shows. But if I was put in charge of Daeron, I'd take a huge inspiration from Matt Murdock/Daredevil.

Since there is a long gap of Daeron doing nothing in the war but protecting Alicent and King's Landing. I'd love to see Daeron get mixed up in the King's Landing underworld. Inspired by "Blood & Cheese" and Daemon's continued influence in Flea Bottom and in the City Watch, Daeron takes on a Zorro or "The Shadow" type vigilante persona that goes out at night in a hooded sash and fights thugs and criminals on the streets to protect the common people and to avenge his nephew and Helaena. "The White Worm" would be his nemesis that he trying to bring to Justice. While also chasing the rumor of a kingpin type character that is starting slowly take over King's Landing in the vaccum that Daeron's actions are creating.

It would help introduce and build up elements that become super important later under Rhaeynra's reign and when those underworld elements take over that city after the riots. It would also establish Daeron as a master of disguise and give him familiarity with the many factions of King's Landing for when "The Hedge Knight" arrives after the Second Battle of Tumblestone.

You know the random guy that organizes a well ordered fighting force out of the citizens of King's Landing, marches them to the Red Keep and retakes it from the remainder of Rhaeynra's Garrison. Just the random Hedge Knight that goes in and immediately frees Alicent and the rest of the imprisoned Greens. And also - suspiciously - captures then slowly and brutally kills "The White Worm" personally ... almost as if this random and before unnamed "Hedge Knight" had a vendetta against the woman responsible for "Blood & Cheese" and "The Brothel Queens" or something ... before disappearing from history after Aegon returns.

Weird isn't it?

But more to the point, I'd love to see them legitimately tackle questions of faith and violence in an intelligent and thoughtful way. I know I'm barking up the wrong tree when all faith in GRRM's world - and worldview - are just empty institutions to wield power. But, since Alicent is legitimately religious in the show and in canon Daeron struggles mightily with the balance between the morality of violence. I feel that there is potential for some great intellectual debates and conversations between Alicent and Daeron about the nature of war and morality.

Imagine Alicent and Daeron sitting together in the Grand Sept - right were she and Rhaenyra used to pray together and where they found Aegon. Alicent is resting on her hip, her legs drawn under her bottom comfortably, Daeron is lounging back against the stone alter - mother and son hiding together from the world by candlelight above them. The Queen's eyes are rapturous with glassy eyed attention as her little boy - a man grown now - speaks softly to her with vulnerability he can't show to any of their men.

We hear how Daeron is one of the best swordsman in the realm, but he doesn't know how to square that with the gods if his one talent is murder. He tells Alicent that he cannot be a righteous man, a true knight, when he's fought so many battles on the Stepstones riding this death beast and burning to ash all that the gods have created.

He turns to Alicent - this beautiful and pious saintly angel that he dreamed of in terrible nights among death and war - and tells her how he fears the violence, the rage, in him since he was torn away from Aegon, Helaena, Aemond, Criston ... and her. How they put a bastard sword in his hand and a saddle on Tessarion and told him to go kill the little brown men from Essos on a chain of barren rocky islands for six FUCKING years. How this weakness of character, this vengeful madness of what was stolen from him - his childhood, his life ... her - has made him capable of mass murder and destruction atop of Tessarion ... and all spoken in one powerful single word.

Alicent, reaches out and touches his cheek, stoking it intimately. She is strong and regal when she tells him that each god is but a face of a whole to one being, just like humans. That everyone has the Warrior, the Smith, the Mother, and the Father, in them. That no one is truly but one aspect, but many, and that what the gods truly desire is balance. When he took his oath as a knight. he vowed to protect the helpless and help the weak. That all that was done in battle, in war, was done fulfilling his oath, his vows, his duty, to the realm, to his family ... and to her.

That he need not love the blood his sword has shed, but instead endure what must be done for the love of those he protects.

Then, going full Virgin Madonna iconography, Alicent gets upon her knees and lays Daeron's head against her silken breasts and holds him to her, saying that she cannot absolve him of his sins or his guilt ... but regardless of all of them, now and in the future, she will love him forever.

I just want these close, intimate, and unguarded moments of wisdom and advice between Alicent and Daeron. Just give her character another gear, not just this perpetual sexy sad girl who is always crying or frozen in anxiety. Quiet competency and gentle moments of love from a mother and son, and wisdom and advise from a mentor to a valiant young heroic knight. Give them an equally valid but different touch to the father-son Criston and Aemond's relationship.

[castillodeleon]

An Unserious Serious Conversation Who: Leo and Seb What: The two have a talk about Sebastian's relationship. Where: The Castillo Deleon residence When: May, 2024

A/N: Mentions of @rebecca-anderson & @salvadorquiroz

Leo began packing his books into his bag along with some Pokemon cards gifted to him by Henry and some board games he had begged his father for. Even though his birthday was three months away, Leo already had a long list of games he wanted and was excited about playing with Henry and Jason when they had the chance.

"You're the only kid I know that packs books for a sleepover." Seb bit into his apple and leaned against their dining room set. "Isn't that a little heavy?"

"That's not true. You know Henry and Michael Sin. Literally, all my friends are giant nerds."

Seb almost choked on his apple and laughed. "Excuse me?"

"We figured it's best if we embrace our natural selves. Me, a possibly queer boy from San Fransico who reads at a college level, loves spreadsheets and Dungeons and Dragons. Henry, the language and arts wizard with an emotional quotient that would shame just about anyone, and Jason---he's just cute. I don't know. I've got nothing, dad."

Seb shook his head. "Speaking of, will you be asking Jason to the summer soiree? I hear Mr. Escobar will be chaperoning."

"Meh. Dad, I don't think he sees me that way and Uncle Thomas says that's okay and I can move on when I'm ready. Maybe we'll do a group thing. Henry refuses to talk tot he girl he likes and Jason is too busy trying not to go to summer school for third time in his academic career. Do you think that'll be weird?"

"Um, I don't think so. You're all still so young. Not saying I didn't try to date in middle school but there's a lot that comes with all of that."

Leo nodded and zipped up his duffle. "Trust me I know. Xavier is getting us all sundaes today and Winter is going to come with us to the comic book store in town before we grab dinner and go back to Henry's house. So, you can call me on my cell phone or text me. Don't set the house on fire while I'm gone."

"Who's the kid again?" Seb walked back into the kitchen to toss the core of the apple into a trash can. "And Winter will make sure you all stay together?"

"I'm 12, dad not 4. Besides, Winter is really mature for her age. " He smirked. "Are you going on a date with Rebecca or Salvador tonight?" Leo was curious about the information his dad had given him last month and now that they've done the appropriate research, Leo understood it better.

Seb smiled as he began the dishes. Xavier would be here any minute to pick Leo up but he wanted to answer any questions his son would have for him. "Both of them." He shut off the water for a moment and reached for his dish towel to wipe his hands. "Did you understand what I meant the other day when I said I was dating them both?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I understand it better now. I think. I just wonder what it's like to be in love with two people. I know you're not in love yet but when it happens, like will it happen for both of them at the same time?"

"Um, that's a good question. I'm going to say maybe not. Maybe in a perfect world it would but I feel like it's very possible for me to love them both at the same time at some point which is why I'm in the relationship to begin with. I see them both as two individual people but at the same time, it's like being with one person so all the rules o f dating still apply."

"Huh. What about when it gets more serious? Will you marry them both?"

"Perhaps. But it's too soon to tell any of that. Again, if it does get more serious, it would be a strong consideration. Is that something you'd be open to knowing more about?"

"Yes." Leo replied quickly. "I like seeing you happy. That's what matters most to me but I also want to understand it all. Do you think they like me?"

Seb reached out for his son and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "What's not to like?"

Leo shrugged. "I know, right? I'm delightful." He giggled and looked up at his dad. "Do you think people will say mean things about you all?"

"It's possible. People are unpredictable but I do know that there are nice people and there are mean people. I can't change that or their mindset but if I'm happy and Becks and Sal are happy and YOU are happy, I feel like we'll be okay."

Leo took a moment to take that all in. "You know they're like really rich, right? like Henry is rich but they're rich rich. I looked up their profiles. It wasn't hard..."

"Whoa...Lee. No hacking my boyfriend and girlfriend, okay? I know them pretty well by now. There isn't anything you've discovered that I don't know. I promise. We're open with one another like that."

"And they're okay with us having a savings fund for new brakes?" Leo asked genuinely, not wanting to sound unkind. He was just a realist.

"I mean, they don't know about the needing new brakes part but they're not opposed to dating someone middle-class. Would it make you feel better if I brought them here for a dinner date? And you can join us. You can bring Henry as your emotional support friend."

Leo nodded. "Yeah...that would be helpful. I want them to see our house and maybe they can play Scrabble with us."

"Maybe." Seb wondered when he could make that happen.

"If they don't care that we eat out of takeout boxes and play Scrabble on Sundays and have a brake fund then they're great in my book. They already make you happy, dad." He looked over his shoulder when he heard the doorbell. "That's Xavier. Do you want to come out and say hello?"

Seb nodded and ran a hand through his cirls. "Yeah, I do. You know, your uncle Xavier is the reason I met Sal and Becks. And your aunt Cel."

"Yeah, aunt Cel was ready to kidnap you and throw you to the auction." Leo giggled again as he shouldered his bag. "That was funny."

When they headed out the door, Xavier was standing in front of a car he's never seen before and Seb let out a low whistle. "Whoa. Riding in Style!" He did the Fresh Prince handshake with him as Leo and Henry began their banter about Pokemon. "He knows now."

Xavier arched a brow and looked over his shoulder at the chatting boys. "Oh yeah? Good. That's good, Seb. You deserve all of this. And I happen to know Sal and Becks are excited about you three." He extended his hand to shake Seb's shoulder slightly and then chuckled. "I gotta get Winter before she kills me but tomorrow you can tell me about your date and we can chat some more when I drop Leo off."

Seb nodded and then knocked on the passenger window to get the boy's attention. "Be good! listen to Xavier and Winter!"

Xavier rolled his eyes playfully, before placing his sunglasses back on and getting into the driver's seat. "Should have left it at Xavier. Winter is too bossy as it is." He smirked and asked the boys to put their seatbelts on before driving off.

Seb pulled his cell phone out and text Sal and Becks asking them if they wanted to do Sunday dinner at his house and yes, they were still on for tonight.

[ninadove]

For the other ask game: Felix Graham de Vanily=)

My son. Protect this boy at all costs. 💜💙💚

First impression:

A bad one, in all honesty. Felix’s debut episode introduces him as kind of a petty jerk, with no clear motivation and a disregard for consequences. Many people are still (understandably) pissed about the whole trying-to-kiss-Ladybug debacle (which, honestly, is not that surprising given the writers’, uh, WEIRD philosophy of consent), and it’s been detrimental to their appreciation of the character in the long run.

In retrospect, though. That introduction was brilliant in many other ways. I wrote about it here for those interested!

Impression now

A BABY. A baby created specifically to cater to my tastes, might I add. I’ve been wanting to make a list of all the reasons I love him, so here goes:

1. Huuuge Clive Dove vibes (complex antagonist, smartest character in the show, identity fraud enthusiast, willing to tear down oppressive power structures by force — they even share a sense of style)

2. Clear queer metaphor (more on that in another post from yours truly, which never showed up in the tags for some reason — Tumblr is homophobic)

3. (Implied EDIT: not implied anymore) abuse survivor

4. Growth! Between the aforementioned kissing fiasco and his talk with Kagami in Pretention, Felix has learnt to accept and respect boundaries. To me, this is key — the most important aspect of a character is not where they start, but how they evolve as the story progresses.

5. He has a complicated relationship with the adults in his life, but an immense love for his cousin/clone (although he sure has a strange way of showing it)

6. Quick to fall in love with a girl who can and will kick his butt. I mean, is anything more relatable than that?

7. The Greek mythology reference??? Hellooo???

8. Peacocks were my favourite bird growing up. One day I will tell you all the story of how one of them chased my father and I through a park when I was a toddler.

9. I also break into musical numbers in the midst of important tasks, just because I can. Perks of working from home most of the time.

10. Also, PURPLE. Can’t forget the purple.

Favorite moment

Him exchanging Ladybug’s yoyo against the Peacock Miraculous at the end of Strikeback. Her panicking in parallel really sold how monumental of a move this was.

Rule of thumb: if a character is smarter than everyone else in the room — especially if they’re an antagonist or morally grey figure outsmarting an abusive a**hole like Gabriel — there’s a strooong chance they’re going to be my favourite.

(POST-REPRESENTATION EDIT: Scratch that. It’s the lovely little heart on the lovely window to make his lovely girlfriend giggle. Sue me.)

Idea for a story

I’d love to see what Adrien and Felix were like growing up. It’s clear that their relationship means a lot to the both of them, and it would certainly add some depth to the Sentibeing storyline.

Also, if I could change just one aspect of Felix’s arc, it would be to make him explicitely queer (the exact label doesn’t matter that much to me).

EDIT: I lied. This boy is transmasc and demi bi now. Deal with it.

Unpopular opinion

Maybe not exactly "unpopular" but rather "controversial", as the fandom seems to be pretty heavenly split on the matter: I really, really like (EDIT: LOVE ADORE WORSHIP) Feligami as of now.

I was quite worried over how the ship would play into Felix’s arc, but so far it’s been written so well it feels natural: of course the two queer-coded abuse survivors would be perfect for each other! It makes sense from a thematic and character-driven perspective.

Both kids bring something to the table. Felix hands Kagami the keys to her freedom; in turn, she keeps him in check when he’s being a jerk. Because we see them work so well together (and understand why they work so well together) almost immediately, Feligami doesn’t feel rushed like I feared it would; in fact, I find it quite refreshing after 5 seasons of whatever is going on with the Love Square.

Now here’s hoping the writing team keeps building their relationship into a strong, healthy one!

EDIT: AND THEY DID

Favorite relationship

I love Felix and Amelie’s relationship so much. The fact that they both trust each other blindly warms my heart, especially now that we’ve learnt about the implied (EDIT: OH GOD NOT IMPLIED NOT IMPLIED AT ALL) abuse from Colt. They’re each other’s person.

EDIT: While I still love love LOVE Amelie, Feligami and the Senticousins have definitely taken over my brain now. Also, give us some more Felix and Duusu crumbs pleaaaaaaase —

Favorite headcanon

Queer Felix! I especially like trans and ace headcanons.

Thank you @dragongutsixofficial! 💖

For anyone interested, the ask game can be found here.

[aston14s]

Even If It’s A Lie- Strollonso

— DESCRIPTION: in a room full of people, who would you choose? for lance, it’d always be fernando but would fernando also choose lance?

masterlist | rules

PAIRING: fernando alonso/ lance stroll

FILE: one shot

DISCLAIMER: maybe a bit fast-paced, lots of angst, mentions of Mark Webber as Fernando’s ex-lover

Days with Fernando have been soft and secured. Lance sees him, if not one, maybe the most compassionate, loving, and caring man he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing. He’s a great teammate in and out the track. Lance isn’t usually one for cheesy phrases but ever since he’s been with Fernando, he knows that he has found the one. Fernando’s warm smile that lifts his mood on a bad day, Fernando’s hugs that always end up in messy kisses, Fernando’s silly jokes that he tells Lance every chance he gets. All those little things have made him realize that Fernando will always be the one he chooses, even in times when he doesn’t even feel like choosing himself, it’ll always be him.

Fernando is his comfort, and he is sure that he’s the man that he will marry. Everyone knows about it, not even his father is safe from his long rants about how perfect his lover is. Lance will often receive a disapproving look from his father when he tells him all of it but knowing his dad, Lance continues on his rant anyway. Sometimes Lawrence even slips a smile while Lance tells him everything about his relationship with Fernando. Lawrence may act like he doesn’t care but deep inside Lance knows that he is happy for him. And of course, the little smiles his father gives him don’t go unnoticed, he consistently teases him about it. And of course, his father will then always end up surrendering and saying what his son wants to hear— that he and Fernando are a perfect pair.

All Lance wants to do is to make Fernando feel loved the way he does to him. He makes it his special mission to be there by his side even during his darkest times.

-

Race week is not until next week. And every time they are off track, you will see Lance in the comfort of Fernando’s house. Oviedo is like a home to Lance now. Well, he’d argue that anywhere Fernando is, is home.

Lance was about to wake up when he rolled over the bed to feel the warmth of his lover but all he felt was the emptiness in Fernando’s side. It didn’t faze him as much since Fernando is a morning person, though it’s quite strange because he rarely gets up this early when it’s not race week. Usually, Lance would just let it go but he recalls how Fernando had been acting weird all week. He’s been continuously avoiding him and sleeping every time he gets, the older man blamed it on his wrist which has been mysteriously hurting for what feels like a month now. Fernando has been spending a lot more time alone or outside with his friends. Lance let it slide, maybe he’s just actually hurt as he said or maybe he just needed some space, especially right now. He understands it. He doesn’t want to deprive Fernando of the space he needs. He won’t do anything to make Fernando feel suffocated.

-

Lance, with nothing but Fernando’s shirt started walking around the house trying to find his beloved. He can smell the scent of his lover on the shirt. It’s crisp with hints of rubber that every driver would smell like, what makes it different though is the musky smell from Fernando’s perfume. He would never get tired of that smell.

He saw Fernando on the balcony, the door slightly opened. Fernando has his palm on his face, drinking what seems like a bottle of champagne. Isn’t it too early for a drink? Lance thought to himself. Despite the drinking, Lance noticed how pretty the man looked. He’s wearing an old Red Bull sweatshirt that is a size larger for him. His hair is unkempt and almost hiding his face. But it still doesn’t stop Lance from seeing the sparkle in his lover’s eyes. Oh, how he loves to get lost in them.

Lance's daydreaming was interrupted by what seemed like a man’s voice. It looks like Fernando is talking to someone on his phone. He didn’t want to intrude but he can’t help but listen to the conversation.

“He is perfect to me. He makes me feel special. He’s always there for me, Jense.” Lance overheard. Fernando has been spending a lot of time with Jenson lately, which he didn’t mind because he is aware of their dynamic. But Lance would be lying when he said that he didn’t feel any ounce of jealousy towards Jenson. His mind went back to what Fernando said, and he was in awe that Fernando felt loved by him, that was his goal anyway. It feels like everything he’s always been so afraid of is gone. The thoughts that echo in his mind that he is not doing enough for Fernando, are all gone. He’s happy that he makes him feel special. That’s all he ever wanted.

“The kid wants to marry me.” Fernando continues. He didn’t know he was that obvious with his actions. Lance could barely hide his sheepishness knowing now that Fernando knew about it. “That’s a good thing, no?” the man on the phone said. There’s a prolonged silence that is lingering around. Lance’s hard exterior started to be washed over by fear and anxiety. He didn’t know why Jenson would ask him that. Does Fernando doesn’t want to get married to him? Does Jenson think he is not good enough for Fernando? Lance anxiously waits for Fernando’s answer. After a minute or two, he saw Fernando open his mouth to respond. “It’s not him, Jense.” Lance couldn’t understand what Fernando meant by that until he said another word— or perhaps another name, “He’s not Mark.” Fernando said.

Lance can feel tears drop from his eyes. His lips are quivering. He can feel himself freeze but he needs to go away from Fernando and away from the conversation. Lance started walking but he bumped into the mantel. “Amor?” Fernando called out to him. “Amor, are you awake?” Lance takes note of how Fernando’s tone is a bit higher in pitch. He remembers how he does just that when Lance catches him red-handed doing unusual things when they are playing with Uno Cards. Lance used to think it’s funny but currently, all he wants to do is to throw up.

Is his pitch high because he thinks Lance heard how in love he still is with his ex? Or is his pitch high because he doesn’t mean it when he calls him his ‘love’?

Fernando ended his call with Jenson and is now going after his lover. With a bit of effort, Fernando grabbed Lance’s arm. “Amor, how long have you been there?” Fernando mutter. Lance doesn’t want to look at him. He doesn’t want Fernando to see how red his eyes have been just by a few seconds he’s been listening to him and Jenson. Fernando pulls Lance closer to him which makes him catch a glimpse of what his lover has been concealing from him, all the tears that fell from his eyes. Fernando knows what happened. He is not dumb. Lance heard everything. And Fernando just stood there, he didn’t even know how he could defend himself.

Fernando stayed like that for a few minutes, his grip becoming softer. Lance took that opportunity to walk away from him. “Amor, please let me explain-” Lance shoots him a sharp look “Don’t call me that.” For the first time, Fernando didn’t know what to say.

“Am I not enough for you?” Lance asked, stopping tears from coming out of his eyes. “I never said you weren’t enough, A- Lance. Because you are, but I’m not. I’m not enough to see your worth. I’m not enough to appreciate you.” Lance looked up at his lover, trying to find sincerity in his eyes. The same eyes that he thought sparkled for him, but it’s all for him. It’s all for Mark. “Do you love me?” and once again, he failed to stop his tears from coming out. “What kind of question is that, of course. Of course, I do.” Fernando cried. Making sure Lance understands just how much he loves the boy. “Just not more than him, yes?” Lance asked. Deep inside he knows the answer to his question. He doesn’t know what he expects to get from Fernando. Maybe a part of him wants his lover to say that he loves him more, even if it’s a lie.

Mark and Fernando have been over for 5 years now, Mark is now happily married to someone else. By now he thought Fernando would forget about today, the day when they promised to love each other for eternity or in other words, Mark and him’s anniversary. He thought Fernando realized by now that that eternity was over. But no, it will always be Mark.

“L-Lance…” Fernando said getting choked up by his own tears. Lance is silently begging in his mind for Fernando to choose him this time.

“Lance, I’d say I love you more than him if I knew how to lie.”

That was the only confirmation Lance needed. The confirmation that it’d always be Mark that he’ll choose.

In a room full of people, Lance will choose Fernando but Fernando will choose Mark.

[toasnearlynakedghost]

I feel like the CoD writers gave each of these characters a tragic backstory. Are there any characters in CoD who don’t have a tragic backstory?

The MC’s parents are dead. We learned this in the prologue.

I’m going to list off the characters and the tragic backstories so if you’re new to CoD/haven’t read a consort path yet and don’t want spoilers then stop here. If you’re new and love spoilers then click keep reading.

Guy Avari’s mother is dead. His step mother wants him dead and hired an assassin to assassinate him but she failed.

Lynt’s father had him betrothed as a child to be in an arranged marriage when he was an adult. Lynt didn’t protest this or try to do anything to stop it though, unless he meets and likes the MC. Edit: His grandfather who was who he was closest to, his favorite relative, is dead.

Fenn was neglected by his parents as a child, was in a terrible relationship with his nanny who became his ex and step mom. It’s super weird his nanny dated him and then left him to marry his dad. Then she tried to assassinate Fenn’s mom and the other Luxure Queens so she was sentenced to death.

Toa’s father was cold, strict, and emotionally neglectful to him and put pressure on him to compete with Guy. His sisters were emotionally abusive and physically abusive (the hair pulling) to him. Also since his father was in the running for the Grand Prix in MakaNai as a new datable consort path option does that implies Toa’s mother might be dead, or is there polygamy in Quelsum like Luxure has? I have yet read Toa’s book 2 in MakaNai so maybe that has more info on this?

Roy has the pressure on him to be a prince and one day rule a kingdom, but so do the other crown princes.

Rio doesn’t have as much magical talent as the other crown princes and he doesn’t know how to use Ancient Magic so he tries really hard to improve his swordsmanship to overcompensate for it.

Grayson’s uncle who he looked up to like a father died. Grayson’s friend Joel became a mercenary and then tried to murder him.

Jasper almost died when he tried to defend Guy from an assassination attempt so to keep him alive Guy and Jasper preformed illegal magic to like tie Jasper’s life force to Guy with what CoD called servile magic. So if anyone successfully kills Guy then Jasper’s life force he got from Guy will go back to Guy and Jasper will die in place of him.

Knight is an orphan from the slums of Quelsum. He doesn’t know who his parents are. He has a magic gem imbedded into his chest by someone that stunted his growth and magical ability. He doesn’t know who put it there and only the person who put it in can take it out.

Tino is the son of the head of the Maes family who serves directly under the king of Akedia so ever since Tino was born he’s had expectations and pressure put onto him to become the next head of the Maes family and directly serve the next king of Akedia. Tino’s cousin Daan was emotionally and physically abusive to him as a child/when they were growing up.

Lance’s mother is dead. His father wants to start a war between the kingdoms and wants to murder people. Lance’s best friend is dead and Lance blames himself for this.

Dia’s adoptive mother used him and his talent for singing for her own gain. She’s abusive.

Lou doesn’t remember or know who his parents are or were. It’s implied the Iritum organization may have killed them.

To answer the question at the beginning of this post Lynt, Roy, and Rio are the only ones who don’t have a tragic backstory, or much of one.

If there’s anything I forgot feel free to say it in the comments and I can edit and add to this.

[donnieluvsthings]

i’ll do whatever it takes (i’ll make a million mistakes)

(ao3 link)

characters: tom wachowski, sonic the hedgehog, maddie wachowski, mentioned tails & knuckles

words: 1513

content & warnings: fluffy family feels, father-son relationship, light angst, happy ending, SONIC MOVIE 2 SPOILERS, lmk if i need to add anything!

summary: The problem is that Tom is in too deep. There is no way his brain will ever be able to separate “Sonic” from “my kid” ever again.

note: woah a sonic movie 2 fic? cant believe joining the sonic fandom has gotten me to finish two whole fics in a month. title from “dear theodosia.” final warning that this fic CONTAINS SPOILERS for sonic movie 2, like. immediately.

~~~~~

Stop trying to be my dad.

Tom can’t stop thinking about it.

Maybe he should be freaking out over the fact that Sonic turned golden and gained superpowers. Or that in giving up those powers, Sonic sent the gem-diamond-emerald-whatevers out into the world for anyone to find. Or that Sonic, along with his two new friends, one of whom tried to kill Sonic, is apparently a guardian of this “Master Emerald.” Or that the newly-re-repaired Wachowski household suddenly needs two more beds.

Okay, Tom is freaking out about those things, obviously. They’re pretty big things. He and Maddie and Sonic probably need to have a family meeting to discuss all of those things.

But there’s that word again—family.

The problem is that Tom is in too deep. Sonic is his son, whether he likes it or not. There is no way Tom’s brain will ever be able to separate “Sonic” from “my kid” ever again.

And yet. Stop trying to be my dad.

All right then, Tom decides. He won’t pressure Sonic into seeing him as a dad. He can hold back. He doesn’t want to, of course, but he also recognizes that Sonic’s had a…rough past, losing the people he’s considered family. He wouldn’t force Sonic into anything he didn’t want, but especially not this.

Tom eases up on the rules and the lectures ever so slightly, although sometimes they’re still necessary—despite it all, Sonic hasn’t lost his love for adventure. He’s not stopping robberies anymore, but he’s started taking Tails and Knuckles out to explore a little bit more of the world, often without telling Tom or Maddie, and it’s ridiculously stressful.

Especially considering the fact that they’re supposed to stay hidden. It’s for their own safety, really! The next Robotnik could be anywhere, waiting for a chance to take them in and experiment on them like they’re science projects. Tom refuses to let that happen.

Wow, he really does sound like a dad.

So, he lets Sonic have a little more freedom in how late he stays up, in whether it’s too early for a chili dog, in what he watches on TV.

He also gives Sonic a power-bump before bed, instead of tucking him in. He reigns in the cheesy dad-nicknames he finds himself wanting to say increasingly often, like “bud” or “kiddo” or (this one’s the most embarrassing) “champ.”

He can’t quite bite back the “I love you”s, sometimes, but he does try to make them more lighthearted and directed at Sonic and Maddie, so it’s less deeply, awkwardly personal. He thinks he gets a pass on this one, though, because despite his endeavors to respect Sonic’s wishes they did just almost die. Sue him for being a little overprotective.

“Tom,” Maddie says, a few days into Tom’s mission. “What are you doing?”

“What? What am I doing?”

She raises an eyebrow. “You’re being weird around Sonic. What’s up?”

Tom sighs. “It isn’t—I’m not being weird.”

“Really.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re too perceptive?” he jokes, reaching over to hug her.

“Call it wife’s intuition,” she says with a soft laugh.

“It’s just…something he said to me on that fishing trip—you know, the one we went on right before Hawaii. I’m just trying not to push him.”

“What did he say?” Maddie asks, leaning back to catch his gaze.

“He told me to stop trying to be his dad.”

“Oh,” Maddie says, reaching out to take Tom’s hand. “That’s…”

“I mean, I get it,” Tom says when she trails off. “But he’s our kid, Maddie. I can’t make him want us as parents, but…yeah. It stings.”

“Even if we can’t be his parents, we can still be his family,” Maddie says firmly. “He doesn’t have to call us mom and dad, but we’re gonna love him no matter what. He’ll just have to deal with it.”

Tom laughs. “You’re right, you’re right.”

“But…”

“But.”

“I think he’ll notice that you’re acting differently,” Maddie says. “He’s a smart kid.”

“Well, yeah,” Tom says. “But it isn’t like I’m trying to hide it. I want him to know that I understand where he’s coming from and—“

“Or you could just talk to him,” Maddie says, shaking her head with a smile. “Communication and all that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tom says. “I’ll talk to him.”

He doesn’t talk to him.

He means to, really, but everything seems to be going really well and he doesn’t want to upset the newly-acquired peace. Besides, Sonic’s still guiding Tails and Knuckles through their adjustment to life on Earth; he’s too busy for a capital-c Conversation.

(Tom knows they’re just excuses, and Tom knows that Maddie knows they’re just excuses, but he will continue making excuses because in truth, he’s scared. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he talks to Sonic only for him to repeat what’s already been plaguing Tom for says.)

Sonic beats him to it, anyway, on brand as ever. They’ve just played a game of baseball—although “played” is a generous term with Knuckles involved—and are about to leave to get ice cream. Knuckles hauls Tails onto his shoulder and makes his way towards the truck, Sonic lagging behind to watch them with a wide grin.

“I’m happy for you,” Tom says, smiling down at Sonic. “You’ve got your wingmen! The perfect friends to grow up with.“

“Yeah,” Sonic says. Knuckles swings Tails into the back of the truck before leaping in himself. “Speaking of, uh, friends…”

Tom blinks as Sonic turns back to look at him, hands fidgeting and his smile turning awkward.

“Me?” Tom asks.

“I noticed that you, well…I dunno,” Sonic says, eyes flitting anywhere but Tom’s face. “It’s stupid. But you’re being weird. Around me. Specifically.“

“Oh,” Tom says, looking up and making eye contact with Maddie. She must see something in his expression, because she rolls her eyes and shrugs. I told you so.

Tom huffs a laugh to himself before he kneels down so he can be face to face with Sonic. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, actually. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

“So something is up with you!” Sonic says triumphantly, before deflating slightly. “Did I do something?”

“No! No,” Tom insists, but then he thinks for a moment. “Well, yes, actually, but nothing wrong! You just said, you know, back on that boat—you told me to stop trying to be your dad.”

Sonic stares at him, expression eerily blank. He’s usually one of the most expressive people Tom’s ever met; it’s unnerving to see no reaction at all.

“So I was trying to chill out, a little, with the ‘dad’ stuff,” Tom continues. “But—“

“Tom. Tommy. Donut Lord. Stop talking,” Sonic rushes out before Tom can continue. “Listen, I wasn’t—I was just mad, okay, I didn’t—“

“You don’t have to defend yourself, Sonic, I just wanted you to know that I understand—“

“But you don’t!” Sonic says, almost frantically, although a wide grin is starting to stretch across his face. “You’re the one who said we’re a family!”

“Well, yes, but—“

Sonic launches himself at Tom so quickly that it’s practically a spindash, and Tom just stands there catching his breath for a second before he realizes Sonic is hugging him.

“I’ve got a lot more than a couple new friends, Dad,” Sonic says, tucking his head into Tom’s shoulder.

Tom inhales so sharply that he chokes a little bit, carefully wrapping his arms around Sonic and trying his best to avoid the points of his quills. “Oh.”

His voice cracks. Sonic snickers. “Are you crying?”

Tom laughs, and it’s watery. “Maybe a little.”

“Aw, come on,” Sonic says, pulling away. “The big, tough Donut Lord doesn’t cry.”

“No, he definitely does,” Tom says, blinking quickly to dry his eyes as he squeezes Sonic in an extra one-armed hug. “You gotta warn a guy before dropping emotional bombs like that, bud.”

“What can I say, I’m an agent of chaos and unexpectedness,” Sonic brags, and Tom graciously pretends not to notice when he swipes a hand under his eyes (although if Sonic really didn’t want him to see, he would’ve just done it lightning-fast).

“All right, let’s go, champ,” Tom says. A flush immediately runs across his face as Sonic cackles.

“Champ? That’s a new one,” Sonic says.

“Just you wait. I have an unlimited supply of dad jokes I can finally use,” Tom says, reveling in the bright feeling that settles in his chest as Sonic grins up at him.

“Love you,” Sonic says, glancing away in a split-second of nerves.

“Love you too, bud,” Tom says. “Race you to the car?”

Sonic laughs, any shyness disintegrating as he readies himself to run. “Yeah right, old man. It’ll barely be a race. Have fun losing!”

And before Tom can take two steps, Sonic is off, blitzing away in a crackle of blue and sliding across the roof into the back of the truck.

Tom lets him win, obviously. It’s the dad thing to do.

[bxckybarness]

What I Missed - Loki Laufeyson

summary: while in custody at the TVA, loki realizes what he misses from the future, only to be surprised by what he gets in the present

word count: 2100+

warnings: a little angsty, a little emotional, mention of loki’s death, episode 1 spoilers

Today was certainly not Loki’s day.

Over the course of a few hours (or more, or less, this is the TVA, afterall) he had been in the custody of the Avengers, had happened upon the Tesseract and escaped from New York. It seemed too good to be true, and it was. Just when he thought he had truly outsmarted the Earthly heroes again, he was imprisoned and taken again.

Now here he was, under the supervision of the Time Variance Authority and one, Mobius, a bizarre administrator in charge of tracking down the most dangerous of variants. It all seemed like madness to Loki. He was used to silly games and grandiose tricks but this story of timelines and space lizards seemed beyond even his own trickery. It seemed downright absurd. And annoying.

He had been subject to what he would call an interrogation. Mobius, however, called it a simple conversation. A slideshow of his life, his “greatest hits” as Mobius had called it and a relentless fire of questions, the memory of which continued to burn in his memory:

Should you return, what are you going to do?

King of Midgard? Then what, happily ever after?

King of Space?

Why does someone with so much capability just want to rule?

Do you enjoy hurting people?

That one had burned most of all. Did he enjoy hurting people? Hardly. And it was upsetting to him that anyone would think that. But he also understood what he appeared to be to every other living creature. He had just relived the moment in which he killed that daft agent and his mother. His mother. He refused to believe he was at fault for that. Frigga was the only person who truly saw him and whom Loki cared for deeply. But it seemed so clear in the moving picture, he had led them right to her.

It was in that moment, with tears and rage in his eyes, he knew he needed to get out of the disastrous time circus. He no longer cared to be a monkey in this ring. If he could find the tesseract, he could escape and be free once again.

That plan had gone almost perfectly. The only thing that went wrong - there is no magic in the TVA. No matter how many times he held the tesseract in his hands, wishing it to take him back to Midgard or Asgard, he was met with nothing but the bland walls in this TVA Time Theater. There was no hope in escaping.

Feeling exhausted, Loki slowly moves toward the table in the center of the room. He sits down and admires the machine in front of him. As grim as the stories it held could be, it was still quite fascinating that it could replay the highlights from his life - in a weird way, at least. He reaches out and turns the knob, searching for the moment his mother dies. He finds it and watches in silence for a while, tears beginning to fall down his face.

He turns the knob again.

He sees a future version of himself sitting next to his father and Thor. He watches as his father declares his love for his sons. Sons, plural. Both Thor and him. A small smile graces Loki’s face before Odin disappears, leaving the two men behind. Loki holds back a sob as tears continue to flood from his eyes. His father did love him, did see purpose for him. He wasn’t just the mischievous son. He’s sad that it took this long to understand that, and sad that he never got to experience this himself, even if a future version of him did.

Another turn of the knob.

This scene immediately feels different. He sees a garden, full of life, beautiful flowers blooming in every direction. He sees himself, sitting under a tree smiling next to a young woman. As the scene progresses he realizes this version of him is smiling at you. He lets out a small gasp when he watches the pair share a kiss and wipes the quickly falling tears from his cheeks. He had always loved you, but had never gotten the chance to tell you. The two of you had met through Thor, when he brought both you and Jane to Asgard. He had taken to you quickly, enjoying your similar sarcasm and humor - something that was scarce within his home realm. You, like his mother, had always seen the good in him and had understood his struggle. It was something he would never understand, you being of Midgard. You knew what he had done and had been there to see the destruction, but still saw him not as the God of Mischief or Earth Enemy #1, only Loki. He aches for the fact that he never got to feel the happiness his future self did, especially when it was happiness with you.

Turn the knob.

Loki and Thor stand in a room together. Loki lets out a small laugh in the midst of his tears, wondering how his oaf of a brother managed to lose an eye. Maybe a dumb bet between the two of them, maybe there was a battle amongst the nine realms. He’s quickly pulled from his thoughts as he hears Thor speak.

“Maybe you’re not so bad after all, brother.”

“Maybe not,” the future Loki responds.

“Thank you,” Thor replies, “If you were here, I might even give you a hug.”

“I’m here.”

Loki smiles and nods to himself. From where he’s sitting now, it’s a wonder that he and his brother ever made up. He realizes now that the fighting and the sibling rivalry may have all been in his head. He, again, curses himself for leaving New York and allowing himself to miss these moments that he’s been waiting his whole life for.

Fast-forward.

He and you lay in a room, seemingly on the same ship as the previous scene. You lay snug against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. You hum softly before speaking up.

“I love you, you know.”

By the look on both of your faces, it’s the first time this has been said out loud. There’s nervous tension in the room, Loki can feel it through this screen. He somehow knows the words his future self is going to say before he hears them.

“I love you too, darling. You bring out the best in me.”

You snuggle closer to him, if that’s even possible, and there’s a comfortable silence for a few seconds. Loki takes a moment to admire this picture. It was something he had wanted since he had first met you on Asgard. You had stuck out like a sore thumb, dressed in your casual Midgardian clothes. He couldn’t have missed you even if he tried, nobody could have. And boy was he glad about that now.

“Promise me something,” he watches himself say.

“Anything,” you whisper. “Anything for you, Loki.”

“Promise me, no matter what, you’ll always help me see the good in myself. I’ve too long suffered at the hands of those who desperately wish for me to see the bad.”

You let out a laugh and the Loki stuck in time laughs with you, “Oh, Loki. I wish you could see yourself as I see you. But I promise.”

“Thank you, my love.”

“You, Loki, may be a God, but you will always just be the man I fell in love with. The good, kind, and honorable man I call mine.”

Turn, again.

Loki sees himself kneeling and before he can question why, he watches as his future self moves to attack someone in front of him. When Loki realizes it's Thanos, he’s quickly on his feet, moving closer to the screen. The tears are gone now, and a silent rage burns behind his eyes. There was nothing from Loki but hate for the purple titan. He watches in horror as Thanos picks Loki up from the floor, a death grip on his neck. Loki wonders to himself how he would get himself out of this scenario had he been there. He assumes an illusion would do the trick. However, he notices your distraught figure behind the mad titan. He can hear your screams as you kneel next to Thor, who is imprisoned in cuffs. He hears you call out to him and he knows this will not end well. His suspicions are right when he watches his death. A shocked gasp comes from his throat as the tape in front of him runs out, nothing left to show.

Loki quickly sits back down and closes his eyes, trying his hardest to process the vision he saw. To one version of him, these would have been experiences and now memories. To him, though, these were all subtle tastes of a life he lost. He lost a touching moment with his father and a long awaited declaration of love from him. He lost the reconciliation with his brother and the confession that they had been more partners than rivals. Even though to him it had not yet happened, he missed it all, and it upset him deeply.

What hurt Loki the most was the idea that he lost his chance to feel his love reciprocated. Loki had never had much luck with romance. He was often seen as the sly younger brother and was usually too occupied to try and compete with Thor for the maidens at court. When he met you, he thought he had a chance. You were the first woman who saw him as his own person and not just as Thor’s brother. The relationship between the two of you had blossomed quickly and he found himself always sneaking away from his princely duties to see you. He had shown you his favorite places in Asgard and had opened up to you in ways he had never done before. He loved you and wanted you to be his. His one regret was not initiating a relationship before you had left for Midgard. And he thought his chances had been ruined by his actions in New York. Oh, how wrong he was.

Before Loki can dwell on his future more, Mobius comes bursting into the room.

“Ah Loki, glad you made your way back here. I have something for you,” he says.

“If this is another one of your tricks, I’m not currently in the mood,” Loki responds coolly.

“Just trust me on this one.”

Mobius shouts over his shoulder for someone to “bring her in.” Loki eyes the guards who walk in suspiciously until he notices who they bring with them. He can hardly believe his eyes. The gods in all the realms must be smiling down on him today, after all, because there you stand. He takes in your hideous red and white space suit, emblazoned with the Avengers logo, and he’s at least thankful he missed whatever battle this suit was required for.

He quickly stands and rushes over to you, a smile quickly gracing his face. You meet his gaze with a smile that is just as big and tears begin to flow from your eyes.

“Loki,’ you start. “Is that really you?”

He nods and speaks, although his words are barely audible, “It’s me, my love.”

“God, I thought I lost you forever. That’s why I went back in time to find you.”

Loki nods, now, unable to believe what he’s hearing, “You went back to find me?”

“Yes, but look what good that did me,” you say with a smirk. Loki’s heart pulls and he feels he could fall over right there. Norns, he missed you and your witty humor.

“Well,” he says, reciprocating your sly attitude, “You found me did you not? I might not be the same Loki as you knew, but I am still Loki.”

“The good, kind, and honorable Loki that I call mine.”

Loki smiles and you move forward to give him a hug. You’re cautious, though, because you aren’t exactly sure what part of the timeline this Loki came from. Maybe you had already been dating, maybe not. That was something to figure out another time though.

“Alright then,” Mobius says from behind you, “Let’s get you two caught up on what you missed with each other.”

Today was certainly not Loki’s day. And he had cursed all that was good that he had ended up at the TVA, taken from the life he knew. But now? He didn’t mind. He knew the relationships that were broken with his brother and father had been mended, he knew that one version of him had sacrificed himself for good and he had you, not only in memory but in the flesh. And sure, you had lots to rediscover within your relationship, but you would do that together.

[tossawary]

I’m more into Canon Divergence at the moment, but I have a soft spot for Time Travel fic (especially with a splash of Crack Treated Seriously), and I can’t help but think how funny it would be if in MDZS Jin Zixuan was the time traveller who finds themselves reliving their life post-death. 

1) This man has next to no fucking clue about what is up with Wei Wuxian’s anything. No knowledge of core transfers. Does not understand "demonic" cultivation. Probably nearly completely oblivious to the Wangxian love story, unless Yanli somehow knew and complained to him about it at any point, so if he managed to help hook them up it would definitely be by complete accident.  

2) He’s probably pretty great at spotting tense relationship dynamics, but only so he can avoid them. Does NOT understand most people’s motivations here and when he does, probably wishes he didn’t. 

3) He probably also has next to no fucking clue about what his father and half-brother were up to at most points. Like, vague suspicions, maybe! Just enough to know that he probably wanted no part in it! He showed up to the Sunshot Campaign and did what he was told, but all he really wants is to be married to Jiang Yanli and to be a dad! 

So, like, by the rule of situational awareness, this man would no idea where to start for a “perfect time-travel fix-it”. Jin Zixuan is in the past and brimming with NEW DAD energy and ready to CRY because he just wants to be married to his wife again. He’s got new emotional awareness (touch-and-go) and social skills (also sort of shaky when it comes to being Sincere) and probably no idea how to act like his past self or hide his skills properly! 

I think it would be very funny if he somewhat blindly tried to help his half-siblings (he does NOT know about the Qin Su situation) and tried to better get along with his future brothers-in-law, and accidentally ended up being the (awkward but earnest) Dad Friend of the group. Like, his ability to actually enact immediate change is very limited and he might not be able to invite his half-siblings into the Jin Sect (he’s got enough political awareness not to try and force that, probably), but he could probably help them into better positions and write them letters to check on their progress in which he’s like, “Good job, sport! I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you!” 

This weirds everyone in their age group out, like, “Did I just get advice from Jin Zixuan? Why do I feel the urge to ask him for advice?” While Jin Zixuan is like, “You are all CHILDREN?! I must guide you and be the mature one here, even though I do NOT know what I am doing. Let me Protect You.” 

(Meng Yao is probably like, “This guy is an idiot and I can’t believe he thinks this sort of manipulation will EVER work on me, but I’m not going to turn down this advantage.” Until Jin Zixuan actually manages to meet up with him at the Gusu Lectures or a Discussion Conference, and gives Meng Yao a hug and a pat on the back, and Meng Yao thinks about that brotherly contact for the next four months straight, like, “IS THIS WORKING ON ME?”) 

Until, after the Sunshot Campaign: Round 2, Jin Zixuan belatedly realizes that he’s become a (Maybe Begrudgingly) Beloved Brother and (Also Begrudgingly) Respected Future Brother-in-Law. Madam Jin and Jin Guangshan are looking at their son dadding his bastard half-siblings like, “What the FUCK are you doing? You’re going to get stabbed in the back?!” 

And Jin Zixuan, who has been all but stitching baby blankets for the children he can’t wait to have for years (him being much nicer to Jiang Yanli this time around goes almost without saying), just looks at his dad helplessly like, “Well, YOU weren’t being their father??? SOMEONE had to do it.” 

[tssidesfics]

TSSides Anti-Fairytale AU

I’m not coming for fairytales. They have their place, but as an aromantic person...I do not feel seen. And then I decided to re-watch Enchanted (pirated, of course, because fuck Disney). And then this idea happened. 

Patton was a child-king who married his best friend when forced to, and then she died in childbirth. He’s given Roman everything he could, but he’s lived his life dictated by the advisors who’ve used him as a puppet king his whole rule. He’s miserable because he doesn’t like how the system functions but he thinks he’s chained to tradition.

Roman copes with his complicated relationship with his father by questing and almost dying, like, every other week. Anxious attachment for days. Boy keeps trying very hard to find a princess and can’t seem to figure out why nothing will stick. To which Patton goes “oh. He got it from me. Oops.”

All I know is Remus is aromantic and aplatonic and exactly as chaotic as he should be.

Roman’s birthday. Ball. The classic. He greets all the noble families and he’s seen those losers a bunch before, but this time, he meets a new “girl” with a family he usually hates who intrigues him. He is not a girl and I will not be misgendering him because ew, but, gist: Virgil, transphobic rich parents forcing him to conform to gender roles, absolutely miserable, in Peak Bitch (gender-neutral) form. Roman mistakenly believes he’s cured and talks Virgil up a lot. Convinces himself he’s fallen madly in love.

Problem is, he tells Patton, who’s shocked he found a “girl” but absolutely is on-board, and then goes to the family to ask for Virgil’s hand and there’s no Virgil.

Thus begins the Mulan ripoff but openly trans where Virgil poses as a boy servant at the castle because his parents can’t get into the castle willy-nilly and it’s the safest place to be. Absolutely loathes Roman’s very existence because that dumb bitch flirted with him while he was a girl and therefore VIrgil thinks he is The WorstTM. Then Roman catches him grouching about and decides to solve this by teaching him sword-play, mostly to give him the excuse to beat on a dummy with a sword-shaped stick. 

Meanwhile Roman is just le sigh I did it again. I connected more with a boy than a girl. Why did she have to run away? Now I’m doomed to be weird.

Well then assassins break into the castle and Ever-Paranoid Virgil immediately susses them out as bad news and uses the remnants of the ball to absolutely wreck them when they try to kill Roman and his father while they’re taking a rare opportunity to chat and bond. Patton decides he is Adopting This Child, fuck you, advisors, he’s as thin as a stick, and Virgil now gets to eat with the royal family. 

It’s the first time Patton has ever actually told his advisors to go fuck themselves. It’s the first step toward a positive turnaround and it happened because Patton’s dad instincts took over and nothing in the world is more valid than that, fight me.

Enter genderqueer icon morally neutral witch, Janus, all pronouns, who’s trying to topple the monarchy to enact lasting change and didn’t want to dirty her hands right away, but honestly people are so unreliable. So he gets onto Patton’s crew as a handmaiden and excuse you who gave the king permission to be actually endearing?

Roman feels slightly weird because Patton’s calling Virgil “kiddo” and he’s not calling him his son but he also treats him very similarly as he does to Roman and Remus, which isn’t great but is significantly better than it could be, but Roman’s got a crush. 

Then Janus finds out Virgil’s trans and reveals this. Virgil thinks he’s about to get blackmailed into murdering the only people who have ever cared about him and then Janus just rolls their eyes like “excuse you I’m evil not psychopathic. I can give you a potion to make your body reflect your mind. You in?”

“Great, so my only cure to stop feeling like frozen trash reheated in a forest fire is to accept the highly dangerous bribe of a definitely evil witch! Thanks! I hate it!”

Yes Virgil memes even in a fantasy world where Tumblr doesn’t exist.

Also Virgil and Roman are bonding. A lot. They’re getting very close and Virgil even lets slip that he loves Roman and then tries to fling himself out a window. Roman gets touched, stops him, and tries to kiss him, but Virgil leans away. Roman expresses confusion.

“I...I love you, but I don’t want to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. But I’ve...never wanted to kiss anyone. For any reason.”

“But...you still love me?”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

Roman...doesn’t feel as rejected as he thinks he maybe should? Honestly, it’s not totally a relief, but it’s just kinda...neutral. It’s not even a disappointment. 

Well, Janus is not evil and actually wants to run a kingdom (instating a committee mixed of educated rich fucks and working class receiving education) a whole lot more than Patton, who thinks she’s just...kinda awesome and very misunderstood. There’s a lot of hissing and grumbling that they’re not misunderstood, they’re evil, they don’t even have a tragic backstory, they just kill people to enact the change they want to see, just because they got ditched in a forest as a baby and was raised by a magic snake means nothing. The snake was a very loving and supportive parent.

Roman talks to Patton and Patton is like “fuck marriage rules. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck my advisors. My kingdom is a haven for the gays. All the gays. Of every color. Come here and be merry and queer.”

Virgil’s just like “yo no reason but in this new world where it’s okay to love whatever gender is it maybe cool to be a boy when the world says you’re a girl?”

Janus draws a knife and glares at Patton and Patton’s just like “even if my partner wasn’t threatening to kill me I’d say it was fine why?”

“No reason.”

“Virgil.”

“What?”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“No.”

“Is there something you need to share?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re being defensive again, Storm Grouch.”

Virgil sticks his tongue out. “Fine. People used to think I was a girl and I have a stupid body. Happy?”

And Patton learns from Janus the fine art of Validating The Fuck Out Of Gender.

The advisors stage a coop and lock Janus in an anti-magic cage, and then at the same time Virgil’s biological nightmares track him down and steal a spelled green apple from Janus’ shop they give Virgil. You know the drill. Deep sleep like death, yadda yadda.

Well, they immediately claim the body making a big dramatic deal about how they have to bury “her” and they’ll take “her” home to see her off and it’s so tragic, just as they were reunited, when the reality is they have the antidote back home, they’re just looking for control over his life again.

Except Roman goes off. “He is staying here where he--where he will be buried under the name Virgil dressed properly and if you came anywhere near his body I’ll kill you myself.”

Guess what constitutes a totally platonic, non-kiss related act of queerplatonic true love, bitch? Fighting your transphobic partner’s parents over their dead body.

Kingdom’s retaken, sweeping reform while Patton retires to be a stay at home dad to fix his relationship with his kids. Virgil gets formerly adopted. The stepparent is actually a morally neutral genderqueer witch who runs the kingdom fairly and justly, the central love story is trans and aromantic, and my queer ass is something resembling happy.

Logan is probably one of the advisors and the only one with sense who probably starts knocking off his coworkers after the coop because they’re all deeply, deeply stupid. Remus probably spends half the story making friends with a troll he brings in to save the day in the third act.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3