#their toxic codependency should stay between the 3 of them actually it might be a crime to set them loose on society

[coldblooded-angel]

Another long ask incoming

So this Variety Article explains the love triangle dynamic really well by the screenwriter himself Justin Kuritzkes. While reading it, I really enjoyed the part where he touches on the fact that Tashi comes from a completely different background than Patrick and Art.

Excerpt down below

So for somebody from Tashi’s background to enter into the sport means something entirely different than it does for these two guys who grew up in tennis boarding school, whose parents sent them off to go be raised on a tennis court somewhere. It’s a really different relationship they all have to the sport. Not just what the sport means to them, but the precarity of their position in the sport to begin with. So much of Tashi’s drive and ambition is informed by that; so much of Patrick’s entitlement is informed by that; so much of what drives her crazy about him has everything to do with that. And so much of what they find alluring about her has everything to do with that. It’s all part of it.

I can only understand Tashi's feelings even more deeply being a Black woman in a super rich sport (paraphrasing from the article that said it was always the intention that - She was always a Black woman. Art and Patrick were always white boys. Patrick was always a very well-to-do Jewish guy, and Art was always a somewhat well-to-do WASP.

Earlier in the movie the boys discuss Tashi having a foundation for at risk girls and she's not only doing a sport she dearly loves, she's also trying to further the next batch of players already at her young age cuz even though it's unsaid or clearly stated, Tashi is a role model so her career tanking after that injury weighs a lot heavier compared to her more privileged peers. It's why she lives through Art who has the ability to do what she lost prematurely so many years priors. In that way she is the same as Art, who lost something prematurely all those years ago, his best friend Patrick who made playing tennis fun. It's an inverse of their relationship to tennis, Tashi seeing the sport as her passion and anything relating to it (hence her white boys) furthers that passion compared to Art only showing ambition again once playing against Patrick, the only coach to truly fire him up.

Then we have Patrick. He's a perfect mix of Tashi and Art (well they're all perfect mixes of each other tbh). Patrick is ready to go pro initially and can't get behind going to college like Tashi and Art do. Patrick wants to start playing tennis and isn't afraid to jump in, not wanting to stall his momentum. Of course, its a short lived career since he's living in his car if he can't crash at a online hookup date's place. He lost his girl and his boy, and we know he misses them because strangely Patrick is the most vulnerable about it, accepting all of his attractions, the beautiful and ugly traits. Tashi is another version of the age old saying "I would've gone pro if it wasn't for my *insert childhood/teenage injury*" while Art traded Patrick as a coach for Tashi and is seeing that her coaching isn't enough since he was willing to quit playing tennis until Patrick gave him the real push he needed.

The codependency is real b/n all three. Tashi is needed for Patrick and Art to explore more romantic/sexual feelings toward each other. Patrick is needed as he is the best rival for Tashi (in differing ideals) and Art (competitive mostly on the court). Art is needed to stir the pot b/n Tashi and Patrick lol but he's also there to show the softer sides of Tashi and Patrick --- Tashi cradling Art in her lap, Patrick feeding him a churro, both of them letting Art spit gum into their palms, both wanting Art to reignite his passion for tennis on their clashing terms). When college Tashi and Patrick are together, they're even competing when in the bed as Patrick asks about Art, even when Art's not in the room, his presence is felt as the unseen third in their dynamic, and in a role reversal later on in the film, it's Patrick who is the missing piece to Art and Tashi's relationship.

Also, how do you feel about Tashi's kid actually being conceived through her affair with Patrick, making her not Art's child, cuz if that's the case then that scene where the daughter and Art are sleeping cozily together is sooooo ugh emotions are felt!!!

Okay OKAY I HAVE. THOUGHTS.

Firstly, your take??? Chef’s kiss 10/10 stars would eat again. The codependency is the movie. They’re literally addicts chasing a high that only they could give each other it’s insane !!

Also I feel like a lot of resentment comes from their differing privileges. Like Tashi never had the privilege of “choosing to retire” or to not have a back up plan (and not go to college). But still she has to live through these two entitled white boys who don’t understand the depth of her love for the sport (until later i think cuz they realize how far she’s willing to go to play some real fucking tennis)

Also I have to do an entirely separate post for the idea that Lily might be Patrick’s because I dis see that theory and how the timeline matches up but also how only Tashi would know whose it really is. BUT YOU BROUGHT UP ART GOING TO LILY’S BED AFTER TASHI’S AFFAIR AND IM ABOUT TO JUMP—

[bloomellaa]

Hi I really like your art and I wanted to know how you see Jean and Harry’s relationship after the events. Does he feel anger towards Kim for essentially”taking” Harry. Thanks <3

Thank you !! Well I'm glad you like my art and I have a whole explanation and almost essay incoming so bare with me lol.

Jean isn't angry at Kim because he's been shown admiring him and almost being honored that Kim is even "there" at the end of the game, he has a lot of respect towards him. What would happen reguarding Kim though is Jean having a feeling of jealousy or envy over the fact Kim is able to have such a stable relationship with Harry and even worse Kim seems to have a good impact and influence on Harry where Jean is faced with his own failure and inability to help him during all those years (4). He would end up in a circle of guilt and self-loathing toward that fact, Harry and Jean are really codependent after all. He would love to have what Kim and Harry have since this is what he's been longing for a long time as their relationship escalated pre Martinaise. My guess is, it was fun at first when they met, until it wasn't anymore and became a nightmare over the years. (I could go on about my thoughts on what happened during pre Martinaise and how it ended up being a fiasco for them but I will keep it short.)

I feel like the relationship between Harry and Jean post Martinaise would be tense at first, Jean would be stuck with a "new Harry" that seems to be a half or even a quarter version of the old one. He's not the Harry he knew once, but it's still him on so many levels that it's hard to even digest that, it's a whole process of grief for someone who's not even dead. He would be more distant toward Harry sometimes, sometimes closer, but there would still be that air of uneasiness around as long as they don't talk out unsettled matters on Jean's part. Harry doesn't remember any of it so he's not really the one who is bothered by it directly, however his empathy would just scream at him how much something is wrong and out of place. Jean wouldn't be the one to bring it up in an attempt to protect Harry from his old self. Because he would prefer sacrificing himself in a fear Harry might come back to that old toxic, abusive and self destructive man he was. At this point it's a self inflected wound but Jean would be the type to do that, he mentionned how much they were garbage but somehow he STILL wants Harry back, he just loves the man to no end, he talks about themselves as if they knew each others since 10 years and not 4.

That's why I see him having a short temper with Harry because he still has matters unresolved, it just gets him as a reflex too, always on his guard, is Harry going to go back to how he was ? Of course he wouldn't there's Kim and months passed but Jean is still on fucking edge, years of babysitting a grown ass man and emotionnal abuse don't disappear in a few months.

I personnaly went with the route of having Harry sober for good but being a complete weirdo nonetheless who sometimes has heavy meltdown. In my version of Harry he gets way better with the help of Kim and Kim gets more open about himself the longer he stays with Harry as a new partner. Thing is, slowly Harry will return to be in charge of the Crime Unit giving Jean some slack about being the superior of everyone when actually Harry should have been.

Anyway I hope you liked that little rant I went on about. I could go on and on about what would happen after but basically their relationship as long as they didn't have a serious talk would be somehow unsteady. With up and downs but mostly on Jean's part, and Harry would have a hard time addressing the elephant in the room.

[black-rose-writings]

I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

[picturejasper20]

Malachite Character Analysis

(Warning: Mention and analysis of a very toxic relationship.)

¨These two are really bad for each other. Malachite was formed through extortion and deception and held together out of revenge. Malachite is the worst relationship imaginable.¨

Malachite was a character that was introduced in Season 1 finale "Jailbreak" after Jasper and Lapis Lazuli decided to fuse together to defeat the Crystal gems.

In this post i'm going to examine Malachite as a fusion and what she tells us about Jasper and Lapis and their relationship.

Lapis Lazuli´s and Jasper´s backstory:

First let's talk a bit about Jasper's and Lapis´ past:

Steven first found Lapis trapped in a Gem mirror, after spending some time with her, he decided to free her and later healed her gem so she could return to Homeworld by using her magic water wings.

In the episode ¨Same Old World¨ (Season 3) Lapis tells to Steven her backstory about how she got trapped in that mirror.

¨It was thousands of years ago. I was only meant to visit for a short time, but I got caught in the middle of the war. It was awful. I tried to run, but... I was picked up by a Homeworld soldier and confused for a Crystal Gem, and used as a tool.¨

Lapis talks about what happened to her as it was an accident, a terrible tragedy in which there´s not only one person she can blame for all her problems. In a way, she´s potrayed as victim of the Gem war, she was on Earth for a visit and then she was meant to leave.

She was treated as a prisoner from gems who were supposed to be on her side, used as a tool and left behind on Earth like her life was nothing.

¨It soon became clear that there was no hope in stopping the rebellion. All of the Homeworld Gems fled, and all the panic of escaping Earth, I was left behind. And there I stayed. Freedom in my sight, but out of reach for ages, until I was found.¨

Then she spend thousands of year trapped in that mirror, alone, with no one to talk to, with her gem cracked on top of that. Anyone stuck in that situation who quickly became insane and would definely not be the same person that used to be before the traumatic event.

It´s not suprising Lapis was so angry when Steven free her from that mirror. While she didn´t want to get revenge on the Crystal gems she still had a lot of anger and frustration buried deep inside her.

As for Jasper, her backstory differs greatly from Lapis´:

Jasper was born in the middle of the gem war in the Beta Kindergarten, in less than a few hours she took more than 80+ Crystal gems impressing many Homeworld gems due to her strengh.

She was considered a gem role model in Homeworld, she was an example of what a quartz soldier should be. The issue was that depiste being highly respected by her peers, she couldn´t get out of her mind that she still was a gem that came from the worst kindergarten on Earth.

According to Peridot on ¨Beta¨ most gems born in the Beta Kirdengarten came out flawed or defective in some way. This was because Homeworld rushed the place during the war to get more gems. 

Jasper was one of the few gems that came out ¨right¨ to the point she could be considered a superquartz soldier by Homeworld´s standards.

However not matter how much praised she got, Jasper thought there was something with her because of her origins. This made her develop an  obsession with proving her power and getting more and more self-destructive as time passed.

¨Jasper is a bully in the truest sense. Deep down, she's afraid there's something wrong with her, so she has to feed her ego. She has to put other Gems down to stay on top. Who she is and where she's from gnaws at her all the time. She has a fantastic reputation, she's considered the greatest Quartz soldier produced on Earth, and that might impress other Gems, but it will never be good enough for her.¨

¨Because she loves honor, fighting, making her mark, and winning the battle, she'll actually go against her programming a little bit just to be the winner. So she can be self-destructive at times. She is tragically obsessed with proving her superiority.¨

Why is all this important? Well, it´s essential to know where these characters are coming from to understand why they decided to be Malachite in first place and why they were a recipe for disaster the moment that Jasper asked Lapis to fuse with her.

On one hand you have a gem that was spent thousands of years trapped against her will and carries a lot on anger and trauma inside her. On the other hand the other gem also has war trauma, it's very self-destructive and thinks she's horrible. Mix these two together and what you get is a unstable fusion made of hate and revenge.

Malachite as a metaphor for Jasper´s and Lapis´ relationship

Now that i have talked about their past. I going examine the scene in which they fuse into Malachite in "Jailbreak" and what the fusion tells us about their relationship.

After being defeated by Garnet (a fusion) Jasper decides to find someone she could also fuse with to win against the Crystal gems.

She spot Lapis Lazuli and grabs her before she can escape flying. She convinces Lapis to fuse with her to get revenge on Crystal gems. She reminds her how they used her and how they are traitors to Homeworld.

¨These Gems, they're traitors to their Homeworld. They kept you prisoner. They used you.¨

It's worth of pointing out that Jasper never tries to "force" Lapis into fusing with her in this scene. She tries using her, true, but she waits until Lapis accepts and gives her hand.

Now, Jasper could care less about Lapis in this scene. For her, she was only just a tool to get revenge on the Crystal gems and Rose Quartz. There wasn't any "trust" between the two.

As for Lapis, she tried escaping from Jasper first but after realising that she was about to being used again by someone who had kept her prisoner in the ship she snapped and decided to stop being treated like an object for once.

Moments later after they fused into Malachite, Lapis took control of the fusion's water powers and chained her down, dragging her into the bottow of the ocean.

¨I'm done being everyone's prisoner. Now you're my prisoner! And I'm never letting you go! Let's stay on this miserable planet... together!¨

As Lapis stated, she was done of being everyone's prisioner, she was tired of being treated like a tool by everyone. Control in her own life was something was constanly taken away from her. So by trapping Malachite (and herself) meant that was able to make choices again.

As for Jasper, i already mentioned that she only wanted Lapis to become more powerful. Jasper is a gem that shown to be obssesed with winning and fighting. She doesn't accept defeat easily and the more she loses, more self-destructive she gets.

In "Chilled tid" Steven gets a glimpse of what Malachite's mind looked like: Lapis and Jasper were fighting over the control of the fusion. They both were completely exhausted and beaten.

There's a visual methaphor about how they are both chained to Malachite in this dream sequence. This is very much like how it's really difficult to get out of a toxic/codependent relationship and how one feels trapped with no hope of getting out of it.

Another interesting detail is when Jasper takes control, all she's able to say is "YOU! YOU! YOU!¨ to Steven. It shows how crazy she gets when can't win a battle and how her mind deteriorates in the process.

The episode "Alone at the Sea" explores their relationship even further by showing which their main motivations were and how it affect them both.

First of all, the reason of why Lapis didn't want to be near the ocean again it's because it remind her of time she used to be fused with Jasper:

"Look, Lapis, I know you spent a really long time fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean, but you're not Malachite anymore.And water is a part of who you are. You can't let one bad experience take that away from you."

During the boat trip Lapis keeps blaming herself for the events of Ocean gem and Malachite:

"It's my fault. I'm the one to blame."

"I'm terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg. I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!"

She describes herself as "terrible". She thinks she don't deserve the kindness that Steven has giving her during all this time.

Lapis is a character who usually stuggles with change in the series. She thinks she won't be able to revover from her trauma, that she can't grow and become a better person.

She also mentions to him how she can't help but think of when she used to be Malachite.

"I'm really trying to enjoy it out here, but... I can't stop thinking about being fused as Malachite, how I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, and how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me."

"But it's not like that anymore. You don't have to be with Jasper."

"That's not it. I... I miss her."

"What?!"

"We were fused for so long."

This implies that after spending so much together Jasper and Lapis became codependent of each other. Steven, who was still a teenager in this scene, couldn't fully get grasp of why his friend who missed being in a terrible situation like that.

And Lapis was not the only one that felt like this.

When Jasper shows up, she shows she has been missing Lapis as well and she has been tracking her to find her.

In a very rare moment that would look out of character for her Jasper kneels down and begs for Lapis to be Malachite again.

¨Let's be Malachite again.¨  

Keep in mind that until know Jasper has always been potrayed as someone who would do anything it takes to win. She's tough gem soldier who isn't afraid of her enemies. She's strong,cocky and agressive. So why did she ask to be Malachite again?

"I was wrong about fusion. You made me understand! Malachite was bigger and stronger than both of us! We could fly!"

She emphazises Malachite's power when they were fused. How strong and powerful she was.

This makes sense considering the factthat Jasper thinks of herself as "horrible" and "defective". She has a huge inferiority complex that comes from how Earth gems are perceived on Homeworld.

So, being Malachite made her feel "complete" and cover up her insecurities and personal issues.

"It'll be better this time. I've changed. You've changed me. I'm the only one who can handle your kind of power."

She tries to convince Lapis by saying how she's the only one that can "handle" her powers. This shows again how self-destructive Jasper can be as she was willing to go through that pain again just to feel powerful.

Another reason, i think, it's because she partially blames herself for Pink Diamond'd shattering. She probably wanted to be punished for her "failure" or wanted someone who she could follow again much like she started calling Steven "My diamond" in "Homeworld Bound".

As for Lapis, there are a few reasons she had her doubts of being Malachite again:

1) The fusion was a way for her to gain control back on her own life. She was tired of being tricked and used by everyone that she wanted to take her anger on someone.

"I was terrible to you. I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to, I-I hated you. It was bad!"

Lapis wanted someone to go through the same pain she had to endure for thousands of years. And that someone could have anyone. She choosed Jasper as she was the closest one to her in "Jailbreak".

When she was separated, she felt she suddenly lost that great amount of power that the fusion gave to her. She lost that "control" she had.

2) During "Alone at the sea" she describes herself many times as terrible and how she doesn't deserve the boat trip. She keeps blaming herself from her actions and how she can't get better.

Jasper even calls Lapis a monster in a moment, stating they very much alike:

"You can't lie to me. I've seen what you're capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you... you're a monster."

Lapis wanted to go back to be Malachite since she thought it was what someone as terrible as her deserved. She thought she couldn't grow into good person. Gems terrible as her and Jasper were meant to be together.

But Lapis knew better than getting trapped in that fusion again.

"NO! ""What we had wasn't healthy. I never want to feel like I felt with you. Never again! So just, go!"

In the end she refused to fuse with Jasper and realised how toxic their relationship was. It was a terrible experience and something she didn't want to take part in ever again.

Malachite as a character

Being fusion who is supposed to represent an very toxic relationship, Malachite is potrayed as very agressive, unstable and sadistic. She´s quite unpredictable since her actitude depends of who it´s taking control of her.

When her eyes are ¨cat shaped¨ it usually means that Jasper is the one controlling her. If her eyes are wide and open, it indicates Lapis is the one in control.

It´s difficult to affirm Malachite ever had her own personality at all,as her components were always fighting over her power and she was a mere tool from the moment she was ¨born¨.

¨A fusion like theirs is unstable, bound together by anger and mistrust. If that bond snaps, their anger will take over, and destroy.¨  

She ends up being a pretty tragic character as her whole existence was filled by hatred and suffering to the point she didn´t know anything else. Unlike other characters from Steven universe she wasn´t given the chance to redeem herself.

It´s interesting how Malachite in ¨Super Watermelon Island¨ kept exchaching between ¨we¨ and ¨I¨ to talk about herself. This indicates again that she wasn´t fully her own person.

If Lapis and Jasper were to fuse again after having worked through their issues, Malachite would be a more stable and less agressive fusion. But that´s very unlikely to happen since it was a terrifying experience for both of them.

In conclusion: Malachite is character with tons of metaphors that talks a lot about Lapis and Jasper and who they are as people. She serves to show how toxic some relationships can get when there is a lack of basic trust and understanding and is created by mutual hatred. It´s an example of how complicated relationships can be and how a person it´s really more complex they appear to be.

[samsoleil]

9 and 10?

ask game

V I am sending the most fond vibes in your direction I hope they make it there okay!!

10. Your favourite season and why.

Honestly? Either S2 or S11.

Season 2: Sam has psychic powers and Dean is terrified that his brother might actually be bad, but is still ride or die for him. This is where we can see their relationship flourish without the search for John hanging over their heads. But y'know what does hang over their heads? John telling Dean he'll either have to save Sam or kill him, and Sam who is desperate to be saved and willing to be killed. And then!! when Sam dies!!! Dean saves him in the worst possible way!!!! Also, it's visually gorgeous. You've got the high contrast vibes from S1 but slightly less desaturated and you've still got the grainy film texture. An excellent time.

Season 11: Listen. I still think it should have been Chuck sending Sam visions. And I don't particularly care for the B plot. But Sam and Dean peak in this season for the first time since pre-s4 and it was amazing. It's the immediate aftermath of Sam literally unleashing  "a force on the world that could destroy it" to save Dean. Codependency at its peak. And in two mid-season episodes they absolutely nail the S2 energy. I mean, establishing beyond any doubt that Dean loves Sam? And then making him think Sam is dead in the very next episode? Where Sam is also the dictionary definition of BAMF? Not to mention, Sam is just. so understanding of Dean and his messy feelings about Amara. Love that for them.

9. What episodes best encapsulates the brother’s relationship? Does this change throughout the series? Doesn’t have to be the best episode btw.

To answer the second question, the brother’s relationship very obviously changes throughout the show. It’s obviously very codependent from the get go (especially from Sam’s perspective! Literally unendurable), and it varies in toxicity. Some seasons they are very soft! Some seasons I want to shout at Sam to run for the hills and never return. And then there are some episodes in seasons where their relationship is literally awful that are wonderfully tender (like 08x21 when Dean says “You gotta let me take care of you, man”). 

Imo, S1-3 are peak brothers. S4/5 are excellent to watch but not the most tender. S6 is on thin fucking ice. S7-10 are, generally speaking, when I would absolutely be willing to kill a man (Dean), but are still SO compelling because these crazy kids are devoted and have no moral boundaries when it comes to the other. S11 is a return to the good stuff! I haven’t seen the seasons after that but from what I have seen, Sam becomes a Dean apologist and Dean just gets worse. But they’re still codependent, so that’s fine. “You were gonna leave and you weren’t even going to tell me?” and “What about me? Would you trade me?” are baller lines. Sam is a grown man but he’s out here saving the world by being Dean’s baby brother. Iconic of them.

OKAY so. First question. I originally had several episodes per season but I have to limit it to 2, this is going to be too long otherwise. Also, as you well know, I've only watched up to 12x06, so I won't include S12 here. 

Episodes (and explanations) under the cut!

Obviously, both 01x01 Pilot and 15x20 Carry On. Literally the perfect bookends for this show. I don’t need to elaborate.

01x05 Bloody Mary - Has the moment where Dean actually has an emotional conversation with his brother, because he’s switched on to Sam’s emotional needs. He was willing to let Sam blame him for Jess’ death so that Sam didn’t blame himself! And near the end it has the iconic line "You're my brother and I'd die for you." Dean, right? No! It was Sam!! Anyone with any sort of reservations about whether Sam cared about Dean in early S1 can refer to this episode. It’s episode 5!! of the whole show!! and it has that line!!

01x11 Faith - Sam has absolutely no regrets about someone dying to save Dean's life. In retrospect, this episode says a lot about how much Sam loves Dean.

02x01 In My Time of Dying - Sam can sense that Dean is there, either through psychic powers or because they are soulmates. Both are good. Also, Dean is told that he may have to kill Sam, which influences their dynamic for the rest of the show <33

02x21 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 - Dean, on his knees in the mud, telling Sam's corpse that it'll be okay and screaming his name. That is all. Also, after thoroughly chewing out a victim earlier in the season for selling his soul to save a loved one, Dean sells his soul to save a loved one. 

03x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas - Sam decorated a Christmas tree with pine air fresheners to give Dean a Christmas. Obsessed.

03x11 Mystery Spot - Dean dies repeatedly, then dies for good for about 6 months, and Sam becomes a ruthless hunter in order to bring him back. Dean spends longer dead in this episode than he actually does at the end of S4.

04x14 Sex and Violence - Dean's siren is literally just a version of Sam that is devoted to Dean and would do anything he says. 

04x22 Lucifer Rising - Bobby coming for Dean's life. The VOICEMAIL!! Dean acting as though them being family is a cure-all and saying he'll beat Sam up, but also apologising. I'll take it. And then, of course, the voicemail Sam hears, which is more or less what Dean said in 04x04, and that being what tips him over the edge. The edge, of course, being killing Lilith to avenge Dean’s death, which has been his quest since the end of S3. Excellent.

05x16 Dark Side of the Moon - Ohoho. This episode. You know why this episode is here.

05x22 Swan Song - Same as the above! Dean who doesn't have a plan, just doesn't want his little brother to die alone. Sam, who fights off the devil himself and (essentially) kills himself to save his brother and the car they call their home. That memory sequence, for me, gave Sam the power not to save the world, but to save his brother. The world was just a bonus.

06x11 Appointment in Samara - "Dean doesn't care about me, he just cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in hell. He'll kill me to get that other guy back." Dean's anger at himself for screwing up and forfeiting Sam's soul was. a lot. Also, Sam begging for his life and Dean just continuing anyway? Horrific. But very testament to their relationship at this point. Dean wants Sammy back and he WILL kill this other guy to do it.

06x22 The Man Who Knew Too Much - Sam being right about the consequences of having his soul put back in. And "You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."

07x03 The Girl Next Door - I was tossing up between this and 07x02 but. this has some flashbacks to past Sam!! Unfortunately, it also has Dean punching Sam for using the Impala, the car they both rely on to get around. And Dean murdering Sam's childhood friend for killing rapists. This isn’t an episode that makes you think “Awh, they’re codependent!”, it’s an episode that makes you send Sam vibes screaming at him to get out.

07x14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie - Ever think that maybe Sam fears clowns because he associates them with being abandoned? Also, nostalgia vs reality.

08x09 Citizen Fang - The voicemail from S4 is still hanging over our heads. Dean asking “Does that sound like the Benny we know?” and Sam replying “I don’t know Benny.” Dean keeping Benny away from Sam because Sam is apparently the one who will kill monsters with no nuance or remorse. But this episode is on the list specifically because of how pivotal the line "Yes, I do – too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down." is in absolutely wrecking Sam's mental health down the road!

08x23 Sacrifice - For obvious reasons! “You know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down!” and then Dean’s speech of blatant lies. It sounded good, though. Dean really is that devoted, but unfortunately he has amnesia.

09x01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here - Autonomy violation. This is what advanced care directives are for. Dean being so dependent on Sam that he would violate his autonomy and trick him into consenting to possession. Dean will do anything to keep Sam alive, including destroy Sam.

09x16 Blade Runners - The parallels between Colette and Sam are unbearable. “Drop the blade.” Also, Dean becomes SO feral when Sam’s cheek gets cut.

10x19 Book of the Damned - Sam’s speech! “But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….”

10x24 Brother's Keeper - Ahahahahaaa. Sam kneeling down in front of Dean and letting him kill him, if he wants. Dean not doing so. Please do not emulate this relationship in your real human lives.

11x04 Baby - Obvious reasons. Also, the perfect example of how these two communicate. Dean clearly states his opinion so that Sam has something to base his arguments around, and then Sam provides his perspective. That meta about how Dean and Sam communicate and how Sam is the major decision maker opened my eyes. Impeccable takes.

11x16 Safe House - The thing Dean loves being Sam (and Sam being genuinely relieved that it was!!). Sam propping Dean’s sleeping body against the fridge while saying “I got you! Stay with me.” Him cradling Dean in his arms and patting his head and Dean being SO confused but not fighting it.

11x17 Red Meat - Okay, I lied about the 2 per season thing, I just needed all three of these episodes. They are too good to not include. Dean joking to hide how scared he is for Sam? Being willing to let all three of them die just because he thinks Sam is dead? Attempting/committing suicide to try to bring him back? Sam fighting through immense pain to get back to his brother? This episode is so good. They are absolute lunatics (affectionate).

[standardlovers]

59 & 94 & 117 bc why not

hello my friend, what are you doing around these parts? 💘💘

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Far too long ago, I can't even remember the actual time it happened like I have not details but I get to go on another one later this month to visit the uni I may go to so,, fun!

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

all hours access to museums

a better birthday present for our dear pumpkin king cause i wanna get something good and idk if what I've got already is enough,,

happiness, contentment and clarity for my loved ones and myself

can I get uhhhhh, the love of my life?

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

i have been informed the question was supposed to be 'how are you?' but given that's not a question I want to answer, I'm gonna pretend they asked

"What are your thoughts on emotion in the music of the Disney movie Tangled?"

well, my darling take a seat BECAUSE when I said that I have a few moments in mind! And it's gonna be messy cause the songs are split into sections according to how I think of them and are not in an understandable order at all!

Tangled's Soundtrack was created by Alan Menken and Glenn Slater, both of whom have written on various other works I love, you may known Slater from School Of Rock The Musical or Menken from other Disney works such as Beauty and The Beast or The Little Mermaid!

The song When Will My Life Begin has 2 reprises used to show so much emotion in Rapunzel in our short time of knowing her at the start of the movie.

The first time we hear this tune, Rapunzel is singing about her regular life pattern and things she does to occupy herself in captivity, even though she is not yet aware she is held captive. The tone of the song is very upbeat and happy but her need for change shows! When the line "stuck in the same place I've always been" comes, her tone changes to what I perceive as a slight desperation, before going back to a slightly happy tune but still ending with the "When Will My Life Begin", she is very aware that her life is not really Started and that she has a lot left she wants to do and it's made clear in the soft, sad line 'now that im older, mother might just let me go' that she Knows her mother is the cause of this

I have no serious analysis of this until later but know this is relevant!

The second reprise comes after her mother has told her she is Not to leave the tower, not even for her birthday. It's a lot sadder than the first, with a soft hopeless tone as she accepts what her mother had said, but it touches a bit more on the relationship between the pair that what's originally heard, and may others have read into this too! The entire lyrics are about Rapunzel agreeing with what her mother has said because she has been conditioned to believe it, never asking for more than 'mothers love' - not even asking for freedom , not even asking for Privacy ( "yes I have everything, except I guess a door..") and even subtly highlights the guilt Rapunzel is feeling at the moment in the lyric "I've got so many things I Should be thankful for" and then even ultimately her giving up her wants for these things to agree with her mother "perhaps it's better that I... Stay in. But when will my life begin?"

There's a pause between Reprise 2 and Reprise 3 for Mother Knows Best (also known as lies, guilt tripping and degradation feat. catchy tunes which is a whole other level of emotion used that I'll talk about in the Mother Knows Best section after this part is over) but Reprise 3 is started with hesitance but mainly covers the relief and joy Rapunzel feels at the sense of freedom she gets from going Outside for the first time, she mirrors the first reprise by listing things she can do but it's no longer about her captivity or distracting herself because now she talks about all the possible things she gets to do now that she is outside of the tower and Mandy Moore conveys that joy so so well, you can hear every moment of it in her voice as she excitedly talks about "running and racing and dancing and chasing and leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding and splashing and reeling and finally feeling that's when my life be-gins!"

Now let's circle back to Mother Knows Best & then skip forward to Mother Knows Best Reprise because The Feeling Of These Songs Are So Fucking Strong It Physically Hurts To Listen To Sometimes

The Mother Knows Best songs cover the manipulative and controlling relationship between Mother Gothel and Rapunzel! The first song, Mother Gothel is informing that not only is Rapunzel not allowed to go outside but... She doesn't really want to anyway, she lies and deceives Rapunzel into thinking of life outside of the tower as a horrible threatening world rather than talking about any of the positives about the world outside for her own selfish reasons, and she also spends a decent amount of this song degrading Rapunzel and destroying her faith and confidence in herself to nurture a toxic codependency for Rapunzel, which also involves further guilt tripping by mentioning all Gothel has done to raise Rapunzel, making Rapunzel feel like she owes her something. Mother Gothel is very careful with her words and tone to ensure Rapunzel believes this is for Her, to keep her Safe and it works terribly well! Because Rapunzel accepts that she shouldn't go until she meets Flynn, which was a turning point Mother Gothel never could have predicted, Flynn, or any outside stranger, was not accounted for in Gothel's carefully planned manipulation and so Rapunzel was able to leave due to the fact she realised that she Could now.

And now we skip forward to Mother Knows Best (Reprise) which is probably Worse! This is what I see as the truly soul destroying moment as well as the scene around it, Gothel confronts Rapunzel on her leaving and Rapunzel is strong in the relationship she's developed with Flynn, and Gothel forces her to doubt that, twists their relationship for her own gain and tries to destroy Rapunzel's self confidence as well as her trust in Flynn to make her return to being codependent on her. Despite the overall disgusting vibes of the song, Rapunzel powers through and refuses to let her tear her down, which doesn't end well but it does show a serious development in Rapunzel's character and confidence, Rapunzel is has a very clear sense of self that would be harder to waver than most other things, so Gothel adapts her tactics to change how she hurts Rapunzel.

And now this is so long so instead of babbling so much more I will say: Kingdom Dance is the song I want played at my wedding!

[littlemissymonster]

'I find the portrayal of relationships where one party is the main/only reason for the other party has to live as very toxic and unhealthy.' but ive seen you talk so cutely about kaneki "being codependant" on hide ?

Cutely? How do you see it as cutely? Earlier on in that post I clearly said the codependency was something that needs to be evolved out of and that was unhealthy. Their relationship was not something healthy and never could be if the codependency still existed.

Even in posts I have made lately (after how deep the dependence went was actually revealed because it wasn’t always obvious) I wrote that while seeing Kaneki so upset and depressed over Hide was sad and heartbreaking, Kaneki needed to learn not to be dependent before their friendship could evolve and be healthy.  Because when I recognized Hide was not just what was keeping Kaneki happy but what was keeping him alive, I realized what a huge issue there was in it. Before then I didn’t recognize that.

   But there are also differences in the two relationships. The dependence was bad in both but it only one feels like it’s being addressed as such.

1. Kaneki and Hide’s relationship did not start in a unhealthy place. Unlike with what’s going on currently where the relationship seems to be starting with one of the main purposes being to keep someone alive.

I think it’s safe to say Kaneki was probably not suicidal at the age of 6 when Hide and Kaneki first met and became friends. The things I loved about their friendship was the closeness they shared towards each, not the codependency that eventually evolved because Kaneki literally had no one else. (Or any of the other negatives I won’t bring up here because they’re not relevant to the conversation Everything could go to hell with our expectations of their friendship but as of now there’s nothing concrete to tell me that).

There’s a big difference between staying with a person you’ve been close to for a long time even after you realize you’re the main thing keeping them alive. (Also Hide’s actions of trying to keep his distance and letting Kaneki develop other relationships showed he seemed to know Kaneki couldn’t just rely on him.) And actively entering a relationship where you know you are actively and knowingly taking up the unhealthy place of being what’s keeping someone alive. Both are unhealthy but one is worse than the other.

Kaneki told Touka about his feelings of being consumed by wanting to see Hide again, and as we know to Kaneki Hide is dead. So he might have basically admitted how part of him wants to die so at least he can see Hide again. So he basically just reiterated what Touka already knew about him having suicidal tendencies right before they had sex.

Touka at that point is probably already fearful she lost her close friend Yoriko and on an emotional high scared too lose Kaneki to.

And she already spoke about them having sex as a possible way to make sure he stays (has someone to connect to, feels like he’s in a loving environment). I don’t blame her, and I really am in the camp that sees they have chemistry and care about one another but that’s not a good healthy reason to start a relationship.

2. It’s repeating a problem. Hide and Kaneki’s codependency largely happened because Kaneki had no one else, it was necessary at the time even though it was problematic. I’d always hoped that when Kaneki got to a better place it would change and Kaneki would find a healthy reason to want to live and be able to have healthier relationships.

But instead there’s a possibility the problem could just repeat. Instead of evolving from an unhealthy to a healthy place he could just be jumping back into the same unhealthy pattern of being attached and dependent on someone, and that’s infuriatingly sad. 

But hey if the negatives of that is still shown I would still be comfortable with that if that’s the direction Ishida wants the story to go in, (And if Touka and Kaneki could face that and move past it and have a healthy relationship that could be nice too) it’s depressing but realistic. And 100% better than what I’m going to talk about in 4.

3. The trope of sex saving someone’s life is something I hate specifically, it’s just… wow. It’s used badly in a lot of different shows/books and I hate it. That is a personal thing…

So I hope to hell it’s like what some people are saying a way of showing intimacy and love without the expectation that it’s magical fix it sex… which is awful.

4. I feel like it’s being shown as positive. I thought or hoped Kaneki would and recover to the point he had a reason to live greater than a single person so he could actually have healthy relationships, both friendships and possibly romance.

Kaneki and Hide’s relationship showed it’s unhealthiness when it was revealed he was dependent on him for staying alive and I thought this line… (I should have known better since that Hide was a projection of Kaneki’s subconscious.)

Along with the fact Hide kind of let Kaneki have his space and develop new relationships in TG was addressing that fact. And if that was true than in that case Hide was reacting very well and pushing Kaneki towards a healthier place. 

I thought the line meant he would find a good reason to live which was healthy. Not a single person and relationship, which is bad and something that already failed once…

And this chapter seems to act like the relationship is positive. it’s treated as sweet and tender when in reality and outside of fiction in relationships where one person is the reason for the other one to live can swiftly turn terrifying. The message if that is the case is a horrifying thing to portray to people as the right thing to do.

At the end of the day my opinion is this.

 I do not hate the idea of a Touk-en romance. Just like Kaneki and Hide’s friendship there are both good and bad things about it (Something I will get deeper into when I finish my post of the positive and negatives). .

I just hate the probable reasons I see that it is forming as it is when it is. It honestly would make both H-idek-ane and T-ouk-en look bad if the idea of codependency is shown as a positive romanticized way. Especially when previously it seemed like Hide and Kaneki’s friendship was owning up to many of the negatives.

I’m not against stories where otherwise good relationships have a dark underbelly. What I am against is when it’s written as if that dark underbelly is a good thing. 

A relationship that praises the positives while pointing out and trying to fix the negatives is great to see in fiction. But a relationship possibly starting in a bad way makes me uncomfortable. And the way this chapter portrays their first time as seemingly just something tender and at times funny makes me fear that the negatives of this kind of relationship will not come up.

And as someone who has been in similar circumstances that’s very scary.

Especially when I’ve already seen people talking about how Touka being Kaneki’s reason to live as if it’s something romantic.