#their roots color gender religion anything

[lilly-of-the-vale]

Mini vent under the cut

Living under a culture that screeches about family values and religion is an absolute fucking nightmare for those of us who are the image of everything said culture is against.

[radfemsiren]

🤍A basic rundown of my beliefs as a radical feminist 🤍

(I don’t represent every radical feminist, but these are usually the standard opinions you’ll find of many radfems. Hate or disagree with them, that’s fine! But know the truth of who I am and what I stand for beforehand)

- there are 2 sexes, the male sex is oppressing the female sex

- femicide, rape, child sex abuse, hijab laws, female genital mutilation, domestic labor, trafficking, war crimes, revenge porn, prostitution… women and girls around the world are being exploited, tortured, and killed because of this oppression, and it must end.

- female oppression is sex based oppression, meaning a woman can’t just identify out of her oppression (for example hijab laws)

- sex is biological and an immutable truth, gender is a social construct

- gender should be done away with because gender roles are male supremacist and result in women and girls being stereotyped, dehumanized, barred from education, safety, bodily autonomy, etc.

- defining women with anything other than biology is misogynistic and relies on stereotypes

- the biological differences between men and women must be acknowledged in order to effectively end patriarchal oppression

- radical feminism is getting to the root of female oppression (radical -> root)

- misandry is not real and is just an extension of misogyny (for example, “men are told not to cry!” Yes because women are seen as inferior and any trait associated with us is seen as degrading/emasculating for men. This is why there is no female equivalent to emasculation.)

- all current religions are patriarchal and made by men to exploit and control women

- access to abortion is a human right and should never be threatened, women are the creators of life and deserve to gatekeep it, as well as exercise full autonomy over our own bodies

- Using sexist gender roles to define yourself is giving these misogynistic stereotypes power (wearing makeup or dresses doesn’t make anyone less or more of a woman, this is misogyny)

- the beauty industry is patriarchal and exploits women, our bodies and our money

- sex work is not work, it’s always exploitation (consent can not be bought)

- the porn industry is patriarchal and relies on trafficking, coercion, and rape to function. It also conditions its watchers to be aroused by violence against women, and results in more real life consequences for women and girls

- women’s spaces and institutions must be protected. Women’s safety is more important than catering to male feelings

- marriage is a patriarchal institution made to exploit the domestic labor of women for her entire life

- BDSM/kink are patriarchal and only center the pleasure and well being of men.

- hookup culture is patriarchal and the risk to reward is not worth it for women to engage in it

- gender ideology is patriarchal and is a direct hindrance to female liberation (we can’t define ourselves or our oppressors, we can’t create spaces away from our oppressors, we can’t create laws and policy based on these definitions, people who are gender non conforming / have gender dysphoria are pressured to alter their bodies to conform to a rigid standard and become lifelong medical patients, etc)

- choice feminism and liberal feminism caters to conforming to patriarchal standards and institutions, and refuses to examine why women make choices under patriarchy

- women of color face oppression on the axis of our sex and race, men of color only face oppression on the axis of their race

- non white patriarchal institutions must be criticized: a mullah is just as dangerous to the liberation of women as a pastor is

- women should decenter the men in their lives just as men have done with women. That means prioritizing us! Engaging in women’s media, art, stories, fostering female communities and support networks, uplifting and empowering their sisters around the world

- being a radical feminist means consistently taking radical action, big or small, we all can do it! Go support a female artist, go donate menstrual products to a shelter, go tell off a man when you see him making a woman uncomfortable. We all can make a difference!

…My feminism focuses on criticism of Islam and middle eastern patriarchy, but there are radfems with many focuses/passions… some in eco feminism, some on uplifting Romani women, black women, neurodivergent women, women with disabilities, prostituted women… some are passionate about women’s sports, women’s art, women’s writing, women’s history, lesbian and bisexual women’s stories… everyone has their passion on here, so before you come to attack, just check out my blog and click around at the different profiles on this corner of the internet…. maybe we might not be the terrible witches you thought us to be. Or maybe we are, but witches are awesome so who cares lol

[researchgate]

Anytime a western woman expresses fear and concern about muslim male immigrants they give her a sermon about how the situation in the global south is the west's doing and she should shut up and take it. as if women in the west should sacrifice their hard earned rights by accepting men who literally need to take why-rape-is-bad classes and refuse to shake a woman's hand bc females are dirty. or they say that white men also rape and abuse women. no shit! does that mean we have to regress further back still? back to when marital rape was legal for example? bc thats what a man who needs to be taught not to sexually assault women believes in. honestly fuck that cuz if a moid from my country who was so grotesquely and loudly misogynistic wanted to move somewhere else I'd be the first to say he has no place endangering women's lives there. any man who needs to be taught rape is bad should stay where he is and be put to jail

while I may sometimes make weird, dark jokes about it, I never blame Germans of today for the holocaust, nor do I do so to Austrians. Yet somehow white women today are to blame for the problems western men caused in the middle east, southeast asia, and the global south, or for slavery, or for whatever. There's just this inability (or lack of willingness) to separate the women and mainly men of the past and women of nowadays. It's clear that they still seek women to blame for their own victimhood. All under the guys of feminism is also anti racism or whatever. Feminism is women's liberation regardless of race and/or ethnicity, yes, but it has nothing to do with men, not even men of color. Feminists know how to criticize Christianity's misogyny very well, and it's time they applied it to Islam and Judaism (which you can do without being antisemitic, it's extremely easy actually), but instead they go for the victim of a different oppression card. It's stupid and goes against feminism, which denounces all forms of female oppression, regardless of the oppressor, even when said oppressor is other women.

While the west is very much to blame for a lot of issues and problems in the places I mentioned above, it's not like there was no oppression of women, rape, and violence against women before the arrival of the White Man. This is genderist rhetoric used to describe how gender was not a thing/was equal/diverse in societies pre western contact. Women were still inferior in these societies based on their sex. They were still raped and discriminated against in religious roles. It's not hard to grasp that misogyny existed and exists in most cultures and societies regardless of contact with the West.

--

The fact that such classes on why rape is bad exist shows a deep rooted problem in the societies of which men need them. The problem is not their race/ethnicity, not even their culture as a whole, but rather certain issues such as the approval and normalization (and even encouragement) of IPV and marital rape. They don't even see this as "marital rape" because a woman who marries gives away her right to consent to anything basically. She now belongs to the husband. And when it comes to women outside of said society/religion, they're by all means inferior and thus their consent is also invalidated and given no mind. It's not even considered.

We do not deserve our rights to be regressed for the sake of pandering to anyone, white or not. If we pander to them, we also pander to incels and white misogynists.

and I agree, although in some countries jails have too good conditions. I think there should be jailing system for misconducts such as drug use or prostitution (which should be decriminalized) and jails for rapists, sex buyers, murderers, etc. which should not have good conditions at all. But that's unrelated and wishful thinking.

[austin-cartwright]

statistics / pinterest board / bio / connections

ABOUT

Full Name: Austin June Cartwright

Nickname: AJ

Age/DOB: December 2, 1988 (34)

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Gender: Cis Female

Place of Birth: Providence Peak, CO

Neighborhood: Claret Park

Sexual/Romantic Orientations: Bisexual / Biromantic

Religion: Agnostic/Spiritual

Occupation: Wildlife Photographer for National Geographic & Travel Blogger

PERSONALITY

Goals/Desires: to find a way to have her wanderlust and her desire to put down roots coexist, get her pilot's license (she already knows how to ‘unofficially’ operate a helicopter but that’s besides the point), fall in love like it’s described in it takes two (“can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the moon, world series kind of stuff”), capture a photo of a believed to be extinct animal, play on an intramural soccer team, see *nsync in concert

Fears: whales, small dogs (was bitten in the face by a family friend’s pomeranian as a child- you can still see the scar on her forehead- and has done her best to avoid them since), confined spaces, mediocracy, becoming insignificant

Hobbies: coloring books using specifically crayola markers, hiking, yoga, learning new things (currently trying to learn the ukulele and is real bad at it), going for long bike rides, journaling, hand knitting

Likes & Dislikes: laughing so hard no sound comes out, a grass on bare feet, ranch dressing, the smell of coffee, the sound of running water (like rivers and streams), napping in a hammock, the smell of the ocean, kitchen restocking videos, watching a photo appear as you develop it in a darkroom, converse sneakers, extra large slurpees, warm blankets just out of the dryer // being rushed (especially in making a decision), prejudice, being told she can’t do something, the smell of gasoline, stagnant routines, dirty dishes lingering in the sink, room temperature water, holey socks, making a doctor’s appointment, toe rings, mustard

QUICK FACTS (quick is subjective tho bc idk how to tldr anything)

Trigger Warnings: cancer, injury mention

Born and raised in Providence Peak

Grew up in Claret Park before her family bought a house in Summit Lake when she was about halfway through high school

“Oldest” of six kids, though her twin brother will say that’s false since he was born 3 hours before her

Parents moved to Providence Peak from Texas (hence her and her brother’s names) for a fresh start and started Cartwright Construction together

Growing up, Austin was fully supported by her parents, even though they didn’t have a ton of money their kids were always able to pursue things they wanted

She started playing soccer in second grade because of Mia Hamm and instantly fell in love with it (she played center midfield)

As Austin grew up, the construction business and the family itself grew but her parents continued to live beneath their means and save up just in case things went bad- all while teaching all of their children how to be financially stable (though they did have family pizza nights every Friday, a tradition that continues to this day)

Took photography her freshman year in high school as an elective, bought her first camera from a thrift store, and fell in love with it (still has that camera and uses it)

She spent most of her time in high school focused on soccer, making the varsity team her sophomore year, and had plans to get a scholarship to a good school and the goal to make the US Women’s National Team

However, that goal was quickly made moot as she suffered a soccer career ending injury at the beginning of her senior year

That’s when she turned her focus more to photography, finding solace through her healing in taking photos and spending time developing them in the school’s dark room

Once she graduated, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life so she took what was supposed to be a gap year and, with her parents help, was able to make plans to travel around the world

So she set off on what she’d planned to simply be the adventure of a lifetime, a one time thing she’d be able to tell her future kids about- but it turned into so much more

She spent a few months traveling anywhere she wanted, hopping on trains and staying in hostels, until she found herself in Türkiye and with a man who took her breath away

He was a rising actor and their love story was a whirlwind. Instead of leaving to go to a new country Austin found herself staying, and a few months later actually moving to Türkiye and in with her new beau

She began to build a life there, exploring her new home and documenting that on her blog, “Austin on the Move”, while supporting her boyfriend and his blossoming career

4 months into her new life, she got a call from her mom telling her that her twin brother, Dallas, had been diagnosed with cancer 

So without even another thought, Austin came home, and much to her surprise her boyfriend came with her to support her and her family

The couple spent the next year or so in Providence Peak, with her boyfriend traveling between the US and Türkiye for his job, while Dallas underwent treatment

During his treatment, it was found that his best chance of survival/remission was a bone marrow transplant and Austin was more than happy to do whatever she could to help save her brother, so she underwent the procedure to donate

Once Dallas was in remission and Austin was sure he was okay, the couple moved back to Türkiya and her boyfriend’s career skyrocketed

Unfortunately, his success became to cause a rift in their relationship, where Austin was left at home while he traveled around filming and going to events

Eventually it all came to a head when Austin gave him an ultimatum- take the next step in their relationship or end it- and he chose to end it

So with a broken heart and bruised ego, Austin came back home once more

It was while she was home, grieving the life she thought she was going to live with a man who chose his career over her, that Austin found her passion for photography and nature again

She went out on an overnight hike in the woods in Bighorn Hills with just a backpack and her old film camera, trying to get her head back together and find some direction in her life again

Finding herself focused more on the wildlife around her than anything else, Austin found a renewed vigor for her future and after a night beneath the stars she slowly made her way back to her car and back home, excited to tell her mom about her newfound plan for her future

Funnily enough, some communication errors had occurred and her mom had called the police when Austin hadn’t come home the night before, she’d been in the middle of filing a missing persons report when Austin had walked through the front door

Once that mess was all sorted out, Austin spelled out her plan for her future with renewed vigor and excitement, and she hasn’t looked back since

She jumped into wildlife photography with both feet,  her tenacity earning her a permanent spot as a wildlife photographer with National Geographic all the while keeping her incredibly popular travel blog active

She’s come home for every Christmas and big family moment, such as the birth of her nieces and nephews, her siblings’ marriages, and the opening of her mother’s restaurant ‘The Pit’, but never stayed for long

She’s spent over a decade traveling, fulfilling her wanderlust and having some of the most epic adventures, but she’s ready to settled down a little bit now so she’s come home

Austin wants to find a way to unite the two sides of herself, the side that wants to fall in love and set down roots, and the one that’s been enjoying her freedom and her job while traveling around the world; and she’s come back to Providence Peak to do it

HEADCANONS

Is absolutely terrified of whales because of an interaction she had while on an expedition near Alaska. She was on a small boat and a humpback whale breached the water, nearly capsizing the boat and sending the small crew into the freezing ocean, upon reentry into the water. The whale didn’t do this just once, but three times.

Is very much a rip the bandaid off fast kind of girl. Doesn’t like to dwell on arguments or negative emotions, so she’s quick to bring things up and not let them fester. It can be jarring at times, but it’ll gnaw away at her if she doesn’t address it so she’s learned to try and smooth things out quickly.

Can be very opinionated and if she’s tired enough the filter that stops the intrusive thoughts from actually being spoken out loud completely disappears. 

Her favorite snack is cheese, turkey (deli meat), and crackers (Triscuits)

Austin isn’t afraid to speak her mind and is very outgoing, able to make friends in pretty much any situation, and can be a bit of a flirt. She’s great at advocating for herself and loves any kind of adrenaline pumping adventure. 

As evident in her job, she loves animals and is very patient in finding them to photograph- however she’ll also ask people walking their dogs down the street if she can take pictures of them so no one is safe really

Her family is super close and now that she’s home, she’ll find herself helping her mom out at The Pit while still taking trips to fulfill her job duties

Has nearly every single color of Converse shoes available, they’re her favorite outside of hiking boots

If you tell her she can’t she’ll do everything she can to prove you wrong AND unfortunately, can be manipulated into doing nearly anything by saying “I dare you”

[absoluteroses]

TAT AGAPOV.

general.

name.     tatianna agapov. nicknames/known as.     tat. age and date of birth.     sixteen. may 9. gender and pronouns.     cisfemale (she/her). sexuality.     unsure. status.     dating.

background.

family.     grigoriy agapov (father; alive; distant), linda agapov (mother; alive), maria agapov (sister; younger by four years). significant other.     balkan. place of birth.     manhatten, new york. education.     student. occupation.     none. religion.     n/a.

appearance.

hair.     straight and brown. eye color.     brown. skin tone.     fair. height.     5'8"  weight.     138lbs. faceclaim.     sara esty.

personality.

traits.     stubborn, soft-spoken, doesn't get excited often, appears to be pretty neutral about most things, but feels deeply underneath. mbti.     isfj. enneagram.     tba. moral alignment.     tba. mental.     tba.

history.

tat's family is at the point where they have created a beautiful, upper-class life for themselves. however, her relationship with her family is a strained one. her parent's marriage has always been tense and especially recently. tat's father works directly with robert moses and is for tearing down san juan hill. her mother is incredibly passionate that he should remember his family's roots and leave those communities alone.

as an act of quiet rebellion, tat slowly befriended the jets and the girls in san juan hill. she's on her mother's side that the neighborhood should be left alone.

tat's real passion lies is in sports. she'll try pretty much anything, she just likes to be on the move and blow off steam. when she's not at school, she's doing an after-school sport or hanging out with the jets.

has no idea what she wants to do with her life, but she is tempted to pursue tap dancing. college is bound for her, but tat isn't much of an academic. she'd rather go into a career where she can be physically active.

[philosophyblr]

AFRICAN & BLACK PHILOSOPHY: Getting Started

Hello everyone! As many of us who study philosophy in some form are likely aware, people of color, especially black philosophers, are radically underrepresented in the field (composing only 1.32% of all philosophers in the US). In order to combat such marginalization, and in attempt to help amplify black voices within the field of philosophy, I have complied a series of links & information here for learning more about African/black philosophy, especially within the US. Please feel free to add to this post if you feel that anything is missing, esp if ur a black person!

Overview:

According to Wikipedia.org: “African philosophy is the philosophical discourse produced by indigenous Africans and their descendants, including African Americans. African philosophers may be found in the various academic fields of philosophy, such as metaphysics, epistemology, moral philosophy, and political philosophy. One particular subject that many African philosophers have written about is that on the subject of freedom and what it means to be free or to experience wholeness.”

Articles to start with: 

“What African Philosophy Can Teach You About the Good Life.”

“A truly African philosophy.”

“African Philosophy.”

“Descartes was wrong: ‘a person is a person through other persons.’” 

“Does Western Philosophy Have Egyptian Roots?” 

“What You Should Know About Contemporary African Philosophy.” 

“Philosophy in Africa - A Case of Epistemic Injustice in the Academy.” 

“The African Enlightenment.”

“The Radical Philosophy of Egypt.” 

“The first God.” 

“African Philosophy Is More Than You Think It Is.” 

And some introductory texts:

Barry Hallen, A Short History of African Philosophy. Bloomington and Indianapolis: Indiana University Press (2009).

Samuel Oluoch Himbo, An Introduction to African Philosophy. Lanham et al.: Rowman and Littlefield (1998). 

Dismas Masolo, African Philosophy in Search of Identity. Bloomington and Indianapolis: Indiana University Press (1994).

Kwasi Wiredu, A Companion to African Philosophy. Malden, Oxford, Victoria: Blackwell Publishing (2004). (PDF version linked here.)

Key essays:

“The Struggle for Reason in Africa” by Mogobe Ramose in The African Philosophy Reader eds. P.H. Coestzee & A.P.J. Roux

“Appeal,” David Walker 

“What to the Slave is the 4th of July?”, Frederick Douglass

“Ain’t I a Woman?”, Sojourner Truth 

“The Black Woman’s role in the Community of Slaves,” Angela Davis

The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois (first chapter esp.)

“A Problem of Biography in African Thought” & “What Does It Mean to Be a Problem?” by Lewis Gordon in Existentia Africana 

“Racism and Feminism,” by bell hooks in the PDF linked here

“Recognizing Racism in the Era of Neoliberalism,” Angela Davis

“Nonviolence and Racial Justice,” Martin Luther King, Jr. 

“The Ballot or the Bullet,” Malcolm X

“The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism,” Audre Lorde

“Whiteness as Property,” Cheryl Harris

Important contemporary black philosophers:

Cornel West (political philosophy, philosophy of religion, ethics, race, democracy, liberation theology)

Angela Davis (also a writer and social activist & just a general badass, really worth knowing about regardless of whether or not you have an interest in philosophy)

bell hooks (race, capitalism, sexuality & gender through a postmodern perspective)

Lewis Gordon (Africana philosophy, black existentialism, phenomenology)

Kwame Anthony Appiah (probabilistic semantics, political theory, moral theory, intellectual history, race and identity theory)

Patricia Hill Collins (sociology of knowledge, race, class, gender studies)

John H. McWhorter (linguistics) 

George Yancy (Critical philosophy of race, critical whiteness studies, African philosophy, philosophy of the body)

Kwassi Wiredu (African philosophy)

Franz Fanon (20th century Marxism, psychoanalysis, colonialism)

Online podcasts, blogs, & videos:

Podcast on Africana philosophy (the website linked here also contains several useful links and resources for further reading)

Youtube series on African Philosophy

Award-winning blog run by a Nigerian-Finnish woman which “connects feminism with critical reflections on contemporary culture from an Africa-centred perspective.”

Other links & resources:

Journal on African Philosophy

Wikipedia page, which includes a list of African philosophers

History of African Philosophy

Online bibliography on African Philosophy

25 Black Scholars You Should Know

The Collegium of Black Women Philosophers

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

VO: “... she continued her emotional descent, and a week later, checked into a hospital with severe depression. Identity, she concluded, was not something to play around with.”

Norah: “When you mess around with that, you really mess around with something that you need, that helps you function. And I found out that gender lives in your brain, and it’s something much more than costume. And I really learned that the hard way.”

--

Norah: “Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have, but they don’t have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together.”

Interviewer: “Do you think women understand what it’s like to be a man?”

Norah: “Not at all. No clue. No idea.”

Messing around in gender ideology will come back to bite you. You can’t just “identify as” without consequences. Who you are is not a set of labels you can just try on and take off like trying on clothes to create an outfit.

I could use the term “crack-up” to characterize what happened next, but it doesn’t really describe what it felt like. “Nervous breakdown” is another handy term of art, but it too does little more than brand the experience as some filmable catastrophe that makes for good TV. The reality was not nearly so dramatic. There was no earthquake. The floor of my house didn’t open and swallow the furniture.

It was all very quiet, as if I had gone out one day to do errands and come home to a summer house where all the chairs and tables had been covered with sheets.

[..]

The deeper cause was in Ned, inherent to him, and had been there from the start. First of all, Ned was an impostor and impostors who aren’t sociopaths eventually implode. Assuming another identity is no simple affair, even when it doesn’t involve a sex change. It takes constant effort, vigilance and energy. A lot of energy. It’s exhausting at the best of times. You are always afraid that someone knows you are not who you say you are, or will know immediately if you make even the slightest false step. You are outside yourself in two senses. First because you are always watching yourself from beside or above, trying to get the performance right and see the pitfalls coming, but also because you are always trying to inhabit the persona of someone who doesn’t exist, even on paper. You don’t have the benefit of a script or character treatment that can tell you how this person thinks, or what his childhood was like, or what he likes to do. He has no history and no substance, and being him is like being an adult thrown back into the worst of someone else’s awkward adolescence.

But there was more to it than that. Ned was also a man, albeit a Potemkin man, all facade and no substance, but I was still very much a woman peering through his windows, and the cognitive dissonance this set up was simply untenable in the long term, like holding two mutually exclusive ideas in my mind while trying to juggle and ride a bicycle at the same time.

Being him was a bit like being a zebra who is trying to pass himself off as a giraffe. Trying to be a man when you are a woman is not just being a horse of a different color, or a person who has traded in her old trappings for new ones: new clothes, new makeup and new hair. Through Ned I learned the hard way that my gender has roots in my brain, possibly biochemical ones, living very close to the core of my self-image. Inseparably close. Far, far closer than my race or class or religion or nationality, so close in fact as to be incomparable with these categories, though it is so often grouped with them in theory.When I plucked out, one by one, my set of gendered characteristics, and slotted in Ned’s, unknowingly I drove the slim end of a wedge into my sense of self, and as I lived as Ned, growing into his life and conjured place in the world, a fault line opened in my mind, precipitating small and then increasingly larger seismic events in my subconscious until the stratum finally gave.

[..]

Ned had built up in my system over time. This allowed me to convey him more convincingly as the project went on, but it was also what made me buckle eventually under his weight. It was to be expected. As one rare (rare because insightful) psychiatrist would later put it to me when I declared that my breakdown would surely impeach me as a narrator, and hence impugn the whole project: “On the contrary, having done what you did, I would have thought you were crazy if you hadn’t had a breakdown.”

[..]

In the end, the biggest surprise in Ned was how powerfully psychological he turned out to be. The key to his success was not in his clothing or his beard or anything else physical that I did to make him seem real. It was in my mental projection of him, a projection that became over time undetectable even to me. People didn’t see him with their eyes. They saw him in their mind’s eye. They saw what I wanted them to see, at least at first, while I still had control over the image. Then later they saw what they expected to see and what I had become without knowing it: the mind-set of Ned.

I know this to be true because in several situations late in the bowling season, for example, or late in my stay at the monastery, I stopped wearing my beard, my glasses, and even at times my binding, yet no one questioned my disguise. No one stopped seeing Ned. They were just as surprised as everyone else when I finally told them the truth. 

Even in the thick of the project when I went out into the world as myself, during the off periods when I was writing or taking a break from full-time Ned, people almost invariably mistook me for a man even when I was wearing a tight white T-shirt without a bra. Yet after I had finished the project, detoxed from Ned for several months and reclaimed my mental femininity, people everywhere addressed me as “ma’am” even in the dead of winter when I was wearing a black watch cap and a man’s navy peacoat.Knowing as I do now that my gendered state of mind could have such a powerful effect on other people’s perceptions of me, it is no wonder that that state of mind warped my own perceptions as strongly as it did.

[..]

As Ned wore on I found it increasingly difficult and then impossible to keep my male and female personae intact simultaneously. I have said already that it was like trying to sustain two mutually exclusive ideas in my mind at the same time, and that this cognitive dissonance essentially shut down my brain. To bring myself back from that blackout I had to learn to be my gendered self again and to exclude or even unlearn Ned. I could not live in both worlds at once, so I chose the side to which habit and upbringing have accustomed me, and to which my brain in all likelihood predisposes me.

I say I “chose,” but I use this word in only a limited sense, because I am not sure how much meaningful choice we can exercise in these matters. I think I chose to be Ned somewhat the way a gay person can choose to get married. I put on the trappings, adopted the behaviors and even hypnotized myself into the mentality. But by going through the motions of manhood I did not substantively change my bedrock gender identity any more than one can change one’s sexual preference by adopting a heterosexual lifestyle. Rather than choosing to become a woman again, it is probably truer to say that I reverted to form. I stopped faking it. I came back to myself, and in doing so I forfeited, as I had to, my insider status in the other camp.

-- Norah Vincent, “Self-Made Man” (2006)

This breakdown resulted in her subsequent book, “Voluntary Madness.”

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[ralph-wreczycki]

ABOUT RALPH 🧱

Basic Information

Name: Ralph Wreczycki

Nicknames: Wreck-it-Ralph

Age: 33

Date of Birth: April 29th

Hometown: Redwood Hollow

Current Location: Redwood Hollow

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: American

Gender: Cis man

Pronouns: He/him

Orientation: Bisexual

Relationship Status: Single

Religion: Raised Christian and hasn’t questioned it

Political Affiliation: Raised conservative and hasn’t questioned it

Occupation: Demolitions Expert at the Fix-It-Felix’s Construction and Repairs Company

Living Arrangements: Lives in a trailer outside Redwood Dump

Language(s) Spoken: English

Accent: N/A

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Max Adler

Hair Color: Brunette

Eye Color: Brown

Height: 5′7″

Weight: 275lb

Build: Fat and muscular

Tattoos: None

Piercings: None

Clothing Style: Whatever is for sale at Old Navy

Usual Expression: Looks tense and unhappy to be wherever he is

Distinguishing Characteristics: While he attempts to stay clean, he sweats rather easily (and lives near a dump)) and can sometimes have an odor

Health

Physical Ailments: Has double jointed thumbs

Neurological Conditions: Has PTSD surrounding his military service but believes himself “cured” after seeing a therapist once. Additionally has anger management issues

Allergies: Chocolate

Sleeping Habits: Tends to stay up late playing video games and rarely gets a full night of sleep. He is a very deep sleeper though, and a loud snorer

Eating Habits: Genuinely enjoys food, both making and eating it. Especially has a sweet tooth and tends to overindulge

Exercise Habits: Goes to the gym semi-regularly, focusing more on weight training than cardio

Emotional Stability: Ralph feels hollow and he doesn’t understand why. Currently filling that hole with video games

Sociability: Desperate for attention and validation but has no idea how to get it. Very socially awkward

Addictions: Some would claim he has a video game addiction. It’s not detrimental until it comes to spending money on microtransactions or even gambling games

Drug Use: Wouldn’t know how to get his hands on them, even if he wanted to

Alcohol Use: Drinks most nights, whether it’s going to a bar after work for happy hour or having a beer at home. Still, doesn’t usually like to get anything past buzzed

Personality

Positive Traits: Well-meaning, protective, caring

Negative Traits: Jealous, Hot-headed, Selfish

Goals/Desires: To feel loved and appreciated by someone, anyone, in his life

Fears: Sudden loud noises, bugs, homelessness, blood,

Hobbies: Playing video games, watching/listening to other people play video games, exercise, baking

Habits: Rubbing the back of his neck, crossing his arms, scowling, fidgeting, fingers twitching

Favorites

Weather: Cool and dry

Color: Red

Music: Country and video game soundtracks

Movies: Blockbusters and action

Sport: Football, e-sports

Beverage: Beer for alcoholic drinks and root beer for non-alcoholic

Food: Cherries, red velvet, particularly together

Animal: Cats

Family

NOTE: This section is subject to change if we get a Fix-It-Felix who wants to headcanon familial ties

Father: John Wreczycki is an All-American, Christian, conservative, masculine manly man. He worked as a security guard until his recent retirement, and now travels with his wife

Mother: Nicole Wreczycki is a tradwife church mom who loves to gossip and is too obsessed with celebrity news. Since her husband’s retirement, they now spend their time traveling

Sibling(s): Jack Wreczycki is the oldest brother and has always been the perfect child--handsome, good grades, athletic, involved, and unbearably nice to boot. Got a free ride to college on a track and field scholarship, where he earned his degree in Public Administration and now works as an executive in a non-profit organization that feeds hungry children

Children: None

Extended: Has extensive family but has not seen them in a long time, as he has not attended the reunion in years

Family’s Financial Status: While middle class, very little financial support was given to Ralph, who has had to fend for himself

Pet(s): Although he doesn’t technically “own” her, he takes care of the stray cat who lives at the dump, and calls her Q-bert

Extra

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

MBTI: ISFJ

Enneagram: The Individualist

Temperament: Choleric

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Primary Vice: Wrath

Primary Virtue: Humility

Element: Earth

[writing-in-april]

The 5 Stages of Grief

Stage three: Bargaining (3/5)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader. Stage three is bargaining.

A/N: Here’s chapter 3 everyone! I think this might be the chapter I’m most proud of in terms of writing. Idk I just really like how this chapter came together even though it’s obviously extremely sad. It also kinda got away from me in terms of length lmao 😂 this chapter puts the overall word count for the series at 5k which is the most I’ve ever written before 🥳 I wonder- does anyone have any guesses as to where the story is going next? If you’ve got any ideas drop them in the comments or my inbox- I’m curious! Also- I’ve got a special surprise coming!!Requests are open!

Warnings ⚠️ (warnings for the whole series are on the series Masterlist): Death, Funeral, Craving drugs, Using drugs, Suicide references, Suicidal thoughts, Religion references, Obsessive thoughts, Spencer’s all over the place, Spencer gets mad collectively at the team again, Spencer contradicts himself a few times, Unreliable narrator

Main Masterlist | 5 Stages of Grief Masterlist

Word count: 2.1k

Earth often symbolized stability; I had never felt more unstable then I did now, when I was without the person that grounded me. I wished the earth would just swallow me whole as the water and fire had done. I wish I was buried underneath all the dirt, right beside them and with a headstone to match.

A constant loop of the same thoughts kept running through my head that all had one goal in mind. A small logical part of my brain spoke to me telling me that obsessing over different variations of, “If only” weren’t healthy for me. But, I couldn’t stop thinking of every possible outcome of that night, how it might have gone different or how I could have done differently. The questions that had once filled my head were now filled with absolutes. Absolutes that caused me to sink further into my mind. I wish the absolutes would have buried me alive. At least then I’d be laid beside them and I would no longer have to cry.

I’d rather the earth crush me than accept that they’re gone.

If only I had run faster.

If only I had drawn my gun faster.

If only I had taken the hit.

If only they were here.

If only.

When the non-denominational preacher spoke as their casket was lowered back into the earth I blocked out his words of what some would perceive as wisdom. The wisdom was hollow, it was all a folly. I had never understood how people could just accept the grief that was dealt to them. Why should I have to accept the horrible fact of what had befallen the person closest to my heart?

Death was a fact of life, I knew. But, my heart still couldn’t bear to accept that fact. I couldn’t be objective anymore, my grief had crushed any accepted meaning to anyone or anything.

“Do you need anything Spence?” JJ’s words broke me out of my swirling thoughts for a moment as I walked into the foyer of the apartment I could barely bear to step foot in. I focused enough that her words just made me laugh bitterly internally. What do I need? What I needed she couldn’t give me. No one could give me what I wanted, unless I started to buy in and believe in what the priest had been preaching.

“What I need you can’t give me.” I gazed around the small living room, lingering on the green walls of my apartment that had once been a happy spot for me. I remembered the joy I had with them the day we had decided to freshen up the walls with a new color of paint. I should paint them black now, to match my clothes and the gaping hole that sat within my chest.

“Maybe I could try?” JJ was smart, but her naivety was astounding to me at times. The fact that she could not read the meaning behind my words made me question if she knew anything about me at all. She claimed to me my best friend, but the real person who held that spot was now buried in a cemetery.

“Can you bring them back JJ?” Silence was the only response I got to my words.

I wonder if JJ suspected what I wanted to do when she shut the door, the door to an apartment I used to share with someone. I didn't want to turn to it, but I couldn’t find a less extreme option for me. The only other option was to resort to the drug that had ruled my life before I had met them. Addiction used to ensnare me in its vice like grip, which was the time in my life when I had first met them. They had freed me from its wicked vines that had trapped me for so long, they were the only one to listen to my cries for help then. So, who would listen now?

Would JJ be the one to hear my silent cries?

Or would I be abandoned like I had been before?

If she knew what I was about to do would she have let me? Or would she not even bother to help? She was already planning on leaving me tonight to be all alone, just like everyone else always did. So, why would she care if I indulged in the vials that sat in my pocket?

When she did leave for the night, the emptiness of our apartment- my apartment was apparent. What had once been filled with happiness was now soiled with the overwhelming presence of grief. I wished the team would stop giving me food and platitudes about life after death. I wished they cared enough to truly help me instead of giving me their blasé condolences with casseroles. I wished they had done so many things differently that day. I wished they did something different now. Where were they now? Why couldn’t we deal with our grief together? They lost a co-worker, but I lost a partner. They were selfish when they left me time and time again, first the dilaudid, then many other grievances, and now this. Why did they always leave me so alone? Why couldn’t they stay to help ground me? Why did I have to be alone? Why did everyone always leave me?

Why did they have to leave me?

I need to again stop asking questions that I know I’ll never have the answer to, I know now that the world only deals in absolutes.

If only the team had connected the dots faster.

If only they had gotten there faster.

If only they had drawn their guns faster.

If only someone else had taken the hit.

If only they were here.

If only.

I sat at the small kitchen table that used to be occupied by a pair of chairs, but after I had broken the chair that they used to use, there was only one. It had reminded me too much of the sight of their empty chair at the round table, except the one at the BAU I knew would one day have another occupant. The chair that used to sit across from me during the rare meals we had at home and not on a case would never be occupied by another. There was no way I could ever move on from them, the grief was too much and I had no doubt that their death would forever leave a hole in my chest, never to be filled again. I was broken without them and even more so than their old chair, I was fractured without them, I wasn’t me without them. I knew I’d never be the same again. I would never be happy again.

The gaping hole in my chest that begged to be filled by a presence no longer there made me ache for any sort of relief. The glass vials in my pocket clinked together loudly as if they were mocking me and telling me that there was no escape from their addictive presence. I wished someone had been there to stop me from ever paying my old dealer who had greeted me like an old friend. The sight of him sickened me, I knew I was desecrating their memory by giving into the addiction that they had pulled me away from. But, my shaking fingers couldn’t resist paying the man that held the glass vials that held the clear liquid I desperately wanted injected in my veins. It felt like I had made a deal with death when I had handed the man the money. It allowed me reprieve from the ever reaching depths of death’s power over my life, but death was an inescapable fact. No one can win when a deal with death is struck because death would always be an old friend to us all. But, I didn’t mind, if death took me it would at least let me be with them again.

I couldn’t ground myself without them, they had helped tether me to the earth rather than letting myself float away into the abyss. They were the whole reason I stopped in the first place. The ground had been pulled out from under me when I just wished it would bury me alongside them. This feeling of falling with no reprieve, with no ground to stabilize me made me want to cling to my past coping mechanisms. I wish death would just take me.

I had lost my rock and that dilaudid I had picked up before the funeral felt like pebbles in my pocket that could possibly save me. They’d never compare to the feeling of having the ground underfoot, keeping me rooted in all life had to offer.

My rock was gone and the dilaudid was the biggest pebble I had to keep me clinging to what once was.

If only there was some less extreme option.

If only something had been different.

If only I had done something different.

If only they were here.

If only.

I was slipping away, I needed something to ground me, to hold me down. I only had the pebbles in my pocket now. I was trapped in my mind and trapped in my grief, the one thing I needed to save me was impossible to reach.

My mind was racing with possibilities in an attempt to distract myself from the clinking of the glass vials in my pocket. I was trying to ignore the memories of that blissfully weightless feeling I got when I used to stick the hypodermic needle in my arm to flood my veins with what could only be described as euphoria. I needed someone to save me. I needed them, I needed my rock. Who or what could bring that weight back? Who or what could bring the person back who gave my life its meaning? Who or what could I plead to? And who would bother to hear the pleas of a broken man on his knees?

“I won’t relapse if you bring them back.” I fell down on my knees as I pleaded out loud to whoever may care. The tears that spilled down my cheeks barely registered in my mind, they seemed like a constant in my life now, always there to drip down and stain every part of my life. I would never escape this grief. The grief left me feeling heavy and weightless at the same time, heavy with regret and weightless because I had no purpose now. Death was cruel to take away the only thing I had to weigh me down. My last possible reprieve before resorting to something I promised to never touch again was to plead.

I used one last plea, one last plea until I picked the pebbles out of my pocket. One last plea to something I didn’t even fully believe existed. One last plea in hopes of bringing my rock back to bring me back down to earth. One last plea that was perhaps was in vain, but I was still trying to cling to the ground that had been pulled out from under me. Maybe the entity some knew as God would answer my plea, even though we had only spoken a handful of times. I wasn’t even confident that God was real. There were so many other possibilities.

I’d just instead use my plea to beg any entity that may be out there. Whatever the origin and whatever the cost, I did not care. The only thing I cared about is if my rock was there.

If my plea was not answered by the someone or something I was praying to, the ground that had been pulled out from under me would never return. If my plea was not answered and my rock did not return to weigh my feet back down to keep me from floating in the air, I wouldn’t be sure what my options were anymore.

Without my rock, I’d float with only a meager few pebbles to try and bring me back down. If my rock did not return maybe after trying a few of the pebbles maybe I’d just let myself get swallowed by a different type of earth, soil. Soil that would cover me so I would at least be able to be laid down beside the person I had once thought would one day be my spouse.

But, the door never opened.

And, the earth did not swallow me to allow me to join them.

Though, I sincerely wished it had.

Maybe, I’d still resort to that.

Maybe, death would cash in it’s side of the deal.

If only my plea had worked.

I’d be with my rock again.

I guess I would settle with my pebbles.

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss

5 stages of grief:

@joonie-centric @tatesimper @half-blood-dork @mcntsee @illuxions-x @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens @day-n-night-dreamer @reidbuck

[ofcalamitics]

Did CLARKE ROUSSEAU chase one of seven sins seven miles down the coast? Originally from MIAMI, FL, the 27 YEAR OLD CIS FEMALE is a RECORD SHOP EMPLOYEE AT THE LUCKY ICARUS / FRONT DESK AT ONDINE’S WRECKAGE and has lived in the Key for 7 YEARS. SHE is supposed to call POINCIANA DRIVE home, but there is always temptation lurking between the streets and the ocean that keeps HER from heading back. Sinners and saints take many forms, but they look like MADISON ISEMAN and on their way to make decisions, good and bad, they always seem to sway to the beat of DAMMIT BY BLINK-182. (baz, she/her, 28, cst, n/a).

basics

BIRTH NAME : clarke everly rousseau. ALIAS  /  NICKNAME : roo. AGE : twenty seven. DATE  OF  BIRTH : may 13, 1994. PLACE OF BIRTH : miami, fl. EDUCATION : bfa from umiami. OCCUPATION : record shop employee at lucky icarus and front desk at ondine’s wreckage. GENDER : cisfemale. RELIGION : atheist. SEXUALITY : pansexual. HAIR COLOR : dirty blonde.  EYE  COLOR : blue.  HEIGHT : 5’1”. HOBBIES : surfing, skateboarding, going to concerts, hustling people at pool, working on her truck, art - creating and observing. TROPES : rebel, femme fatale. INSPIRATIONS : peyton sawyer, angie d’amato, meredith grey, hayley marshall, penny lane.

past

clarke childhood could only have been described as one thing - idyllic. she and her siblings were born with sliver spoons in their mouths, though you’d never have known it. despite wanting for nothing, clarke learned early on that if she wanted something, she had to work for it. nothing was handed out for free. unfortunately, that included her mother’s love.

all her life she’d been told she was the spitting image of her mother - practically her twin! for years, clarke wore it like a badge of honor, beaming by her mother’s side while family and friends gushed over them. so, when it all came crashing down - or slipping out the back door in the middle of the night - clarke swore she’d never let anyone hurt her or her siblings like that ever again. 

the disappearance of their father had devastated clarke, of course, but nothing hurt like their mother choosing her career over her kids. clarke had always been so sure of her mother’s love - convinced it was unconditional even though the signs had always been there that her mother was unhappy. the morning when she realized her mother was gone was the single most devastating and life altering moment of clarke’s life.

after that day, clarke made it known that she was nothing like her mother. she’d never dream of leaving her family behind, even as young as she was. clarke took on responsibility no child should ever have to bear. 

on the hard days, clarke turned to her sketchbook. it had started as a way to escape the hardships life had brought her way but, as she got older, clarke learned she had a natural talent and creativity. 

college had never really been part of clarke’s plan, but after practically raising her baby sister herself and with some encouragement from her high school art teacher, she applied to university of miami’s fine arts program. it had been years since clarke had done anything for purely selfish reasons - though she purposely chose a school close to home. it felt good doing something for herself again, but there was a twinge of guilt that came along with it. a fear she swallowed down over and over again. what if she was more like her mother than she wanted to admit?

within three years, clarke graduated early with her bachelor’s in art and found herself following aubrey to key west. 

present

something about knowing how much her mother hated key west has made clarke love it that much more. it was shockingly easy to put down roots and make poinciana drive home. clarke had chosen the neighborhood because she knew it was well below her means - that was part of the charm. now, though, she’s learned to genuinely love the place and happily calls it home.

though she does love her home, clarke spends very little time actually in it. most mornings she’s out on the waves early. clarke finds her peace out in the open water and it’s obvious when she hasn’t been able to get out and surf first thing. a gal gets cranky. almost all of her afternoons and evenings are spent at lucky icarus’ or ondine’s! neither truly feel like work (until she has to deal with a karen. ew.). clarke’s developed a love of vintage cars - it runs in the family, apparently - and has even revamped an old ford ranger that she’s obsessed with. and music is easily her second love, so her time spent off and on the clock at lucky icarus is self indulgent at the very least.

she is a prickly bitch. she’s not hateful or outright mean usually but she’s got rbf for days and is massively distrusting of new people. if you want to get under that prickly exterior, come at her with some obscure music facts (bonus points if it’s something she doesn’t already know) or a good roast (even if it’s of her). 

clarke isn’t afraid of a good fight, though she doesn’t usually go seeking them out. if you come for either of her siblings, she will throw hands. or swing a tire iron. pick your poison.

quick facts

playlists are her love language. she’ll be stupid chill about it, but it’s a huge deal to get one. if she abruptly shares any of her music with someone, it’s her being vulnerable - there’s always something she’s trying to say when she shares her music.

clarke is fueled by spite and nicotine. that’s it. she’s very unapologetic of that fact.

has pretty much zero impulse control if her siblings aren’t around. around them she goes full mom mode but?? that’s really the only time unless she considers someone family.

loves a good horror movie, but lords of dogtown and almost famous are her comfort movies.

elton john is her guilty pleasure if she had to pick something. not ashamed though. v proud of her love for sir elton.

rides a pintail longboard and surfs with either a classic short or longboard, depending on her mood.

will sell her soul for a vape and some mello yello at any given time.

will not be caught dead away from home without a sketchbook. every bag she carries has at least one tucked away in it somewhere. some have multiple. her downtime at either job is usually spent sketching or doodling.

her home is in a general state of disarray simply because she doesn’t spend a ton of time there, but underneath the mess it’s a v aesthetically pleasing space. her artistic nature shines both in her physical space and her online presence. it’s all v curated to look a certain way. even her truck was outfitted to look a certain way.

she loves a retro moment. modern is great, but clarke is obsessed with all things retro.

wanted dynamics

best friend / ride or die / partner in crime.

roommates / neighbors.

surf buddies.

gear head pals.

regulars at the record shop.

exes / hookups.

honestly....anything. i want it all. pls.

[lexitxylor]

introducing LEXI *:･ﾟ✧*

* IMOGEN POOTS, FEMALE + SHE/HER  | you know LEXI TAYLOR, right? they’re TWENTY-SIX, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THEIR WHOLE LIFE? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to DON’T STOP ME NOW BY QUEEN like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole MIDNIGHT TRIPS THROUGH TOWN JUST TO ADMIRE THE NEON LIGHTS, A MILLION PROJECTS TO FINISH BUT CAN’T FIND HER FAVORITE PEN, AND MAKING OUT WITH STRANGERS IN THE BATHROOM OF THE ROLLER RINK thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is DECEMBER 10TH, so they’re a SAGITTARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( michaela, 23, pst, she/her  )

STATS.

full name: lexi jo taylor nicknames: lex, lo lo (from her mom) age: twenty-six. date of birth:  december 10th,  1994. hometown: irving,  nc. current location: irving, nc. gender: cis woman. pronouns: she/her. religion: none.  occupation: filmmaker. orientation: chaotic bisexual relationship status: single for about a week residence: second story one bedroom in delphinus heights. education: high school diploma

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

hair color / style:  bleached blonde, with her natural brunette roots growing in. messy waves, bangs. eye color: green. height:  5'4″. tattoos: canis lupus (fantastic mr. fox) on her inner right wrist, california wildflowers on her left ribcage. piercings: ring on right nostril, double lobes, had a navel but took it out a few years ago.

HEALTH.

allergies:  most antibiotics. sleeping habits: rarely. likes to be out late, but can’t sleep past the sunrise. gets about 5-6 hours a night. eating habits: pretty healthy, a side effect of living in hollywood. makes unhealthy things healthier on accident, just because she has a love affair going on with veggies. lettuce wrapped burgers, vegetarian pizza, etc. no dairy, but only because she doesn’t like the feeling of it in her throat afterwords. exercise: she knows she should, but hates it. it’s so much work. she does love walks, but doesn’t consider them exercise. sociability: likes to distract herself with people. a big flirt with a heart of gold. addictions: working on not being an alcoholic, being the center of attention. drug use: occasional weed, social lsd user. tried cocaine once at a party. alcohol use: yes.

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: generous, determined, imaginative, warm-hearted, romantic, artistic, energetic, spontaneous, adventurous negative traits: rash, self-centered, indulgent, dramatic, detached, flighty, candid, messy fears: failing, her mother dying hobbies: theatre, singing, playing guitar habits: picking at skin around fingernails, binge drinking, fidgeting

PLAYLIST.

sober ( childish gambino ), talk too much ( coin ), wheel in the sky ( journey ), dinner and diatribes ( hozier ), if you’re too shy [let me know] ( the 1975 ), no. 1 party anthem ( arctic monkeys ), i know the end ( phoebe bridgers ) 4ever! ( lany )

TYPES.

zodiac sign: sagittarius. mbti: enfp. enneagram: 7. temperament: sanguine. moral alignment: chaotic good. primary vice: lust. primary virtue: charity.

CHARACTER INSPO.

lady bird ( lady bird ), suzy bishop ( moonrise kingdom ), shawn hunter ( boy meets world ), jess mariano ( gilmore girls ), erin quinn ( derry girls )

BULLET POINT BIO.

she was raised by single mom after dad left when she was 11. her dad was cheating with her aunt (her mom’s sister) and when it was exposed, it was quite the town scandal. 

lex is the youngest of five siblings. (pretty much) all of her siblings grew up to be successful in something practical, like doctors, engineers, etc. 

grew into the “black sheep” role rather early on. a rebellious artist with a vulgar streak, lexi was never her mom’s favorite. she tried her best, and lexi knows now that she was hard to parent, but she still hold resentment in her heart for the mom who always wanted perfection from her and never gave her room to breathe.

as a senior in high school, lexi would have done anything to get out of irving. her english teacher suggested she enter a screenplay contest, and she won. an indie production company picked up her first film, an adaptation of kate chopin’s the awakening, and she packed her bags and moved to los angeles without a second thought. she told very few people where she was going, or that she was leaving at all, and only kept in contact with maybe one or two close friends. 

she slowly began to gain popularity in the mainstream as her film began it’s wide release, but her relationship with a young movie star is what really put her on the map, or at least on the front page of the tabloids. lexi and her boyfriend were one of hollywood’s “it” couples for two years, until it was exposed that he had been cheating on her with his costar. 

on the same night her second film, a thinly veiled coming-of-age story about her life in irving, was nominated for this year’s academy awards, her now ex-boyfriend kicked her out of their shared apartment with nothing but a suitcase to her name.

having nowhere else to go, lexi flew home and has been hiding out in irving for about a week. she’s trying to avoid anyone she knew from before she moved, terrified to find out how they felt about their portrayal in her movie.

HEADCANONS.

i imagine her to be about as famous as greta gerwig. like, you’d know her if you were into movies but some rando on the street isn’t going to recognize her.

she had brunette hair before she left and dyed it blonde when she moved to hollywood, so anyone who knew her from before would notice that haha.

she was a 2014 tumblr girl and still listens to the same music she did in high school.

she grew up undiagnosed with ADHD and was formally diagnosed in la. she did okay in school but only really excelled in her english classes.

big theatre nerd. her favorite musical is spring awakening.

super hopeless romantic. falls in love with pretty much everyone she meets. loves hookups, but then spends the next week daydreaming about what they could have been if they lasted longer than one night.

was more of a grunge loner in high school, but is a big party animal now. 

[nothingisliteral]

Literary Agents Accepting Queries 2020

A note; these agents are according to my research as of June 12, 2020. To find more information on these agents, just look up their name and agency. How to query to these agents differ, so it would be wise to look into them more. Bolded is the categories, genres, and/or tropes that said agent is interested in. This list was put together by me, and it was only the agents who’s name start with A. Even though this is labeled as YA, many of these agents are interested in other genres.

* Adria Goetz (Martin Literary Management), Mill Creek, WA General fiction Suspense/thriller Fantasy/science fiction Juvenile fiction Religious

* Adriann Ranta Zurhellen (Foundry Literary + Media), New York, NY all genres and for all age groups, but has a penchant for edgy, dark, unusual voices, unique settings, and everyman stories told with a new spin. She loves gritty, realistic, true-to-life narratives with conflicts based in the real world; women’s fiction and nonfiction; accessible, pop nonfiction in science, history, and craft; and smart, fresh, genre-bending works for children.

* Adrienne Rosado (Stonesong Literary Agency), New York, NY adult and children’s fiction, as well as select non-fiction in the areas of pop-science, business, memoir, and humor. In both adult and children’s fiction, she is looking for contemporary, mystery, historical, thriller, fantasy, and anything with a wickedly dark sense of humor. She’s especially drawn to multicultural fiction, lgbtq+ works, and stories about people from atypical walks of life. She is not currently looking for poetry or children’s picture books.

* Agnes Carlowicz (Carol Mann Agency), New York, NY both fiction and non-fiction, with a special passion for literature that amplifies underrepresented voices and subverts the status quo. Among others, she enjoys: intersectional feminism, millennial self-care, female-driven memoir, true-crime, and humorous pop culture.

* Aimee Ashcraft (Brower Literary & Management), New York, NY busy seeking out stories that feature all-encompassing worlds and compelling female characters. She loves books that are told from an original point of view and are more addictive than a good Netflix binge

* Albert Longden (Albert T. Longden Agency), Bloomfield, NJ (AAR Member) General fiction, Mystery, Romance, Suspense/thriller, Fantasy/science fiction, Biography, Business/investing/finance, Sports, Paranormal (want writers that are preferably experienced and are willing to listen to productive critiques of their work)

* Albert Zuckerman (Writers House), New York, NY books in all adult categories, fiction and non-fiction. And lately I’ve been enjoying working with some YA and Middle Grade authors. I'm interested in working with a few more novelists, literary and commercial

* Alec Shane (Writers House), New York, NY mystery, thrillers (though he’s experiencing terrorist fatigue at the moment), suspense, horror, historical fiction, literary fiction, and middle grade and young adult fiction. He DOESNT want Romance, straight sci-fi, high fantasy, picture books, self-help, women’s fiction, food, or travel memoir.

* Alex Glass (Glass Literary Management), New York, NY General fiction, Mystery, Suspense/thriller, Juvenile fiction, Biography, History, Mind/body/spirit, Health, Lifestyle, Cookbooks, Sports, Literary fiction, Memoir, Narrative nonfiction, Pop culture

* Alexa Stark (Trident Media Group), New York, NY drawn to literary debuts with a unique voice and perspective, stories about dysfunctional friendships and families, edgy coming-of-age tales, character-driven suspense and thrillers, and fiction that delves into the surreal

* Alexandra Levick (Writers House), New York, NY Picture book author-illustrators, a wide range of middle grade and YA, and more speculative-leaning or genre-bent upmarket adult works. I’m committed to working with writers from diverse backgrounds and am looking to put forth a list of outstanding creators who will be able to provide windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors (thank you, Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop) into all kinds of experiences. I’m particularly looking for own-voices stories about historically underrepresented characters, identities, and cultures.

* Alexandra Machinist (International Creative Management), New York, NY Commercial fiction Literary fiction Upmarket women's fiction Historical fiction Suspense Fantasy Young adult Middle grade

* Alexandra Penfold (Upstart Crow Literary), New York, NY specializes in young picture books, middle-grade fiction, and young adult

* Alexandra Weiss (Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency), New York, NY contemporary, magical realism, and light SFF. I’d also like to see more rom-coms that make my heart feel warm. dedicated to representing marginalized creators and diverse books, including #ownvoices. I’m actively seeking LGBTQIA+, POC, gender fluid, neurodiverse, and disabled voices for all age ranges and across all genres.

* Alexis Hurley (InkWell Management), New York, NY domestic works in the areas of literary and commercial fiction, memoir, narrative non-fiction and more

* Ali Herring (Spencerhill Associates), Lakewood Ranch, FL I’m open to all YA: Contemporary, fantasy, sci-fi, speculative, horror, romance, issue books (though I have a few already on my list so not my top choice), etc. All the contemporary fantasy right now. Contemporary with a speculative element YA suspense/thrillers All the horror right now, or horror-bordering Anything with an edge Fun teen romance like To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Vibrant Teen rom-coms Dystopian or failing Utopia/Utopian worlds (fresh government or control system in place or none at all) Near-future dystopian where the world is not cleaned up and pretty. I want a sense of the horror but without tons of gore. Bold unexplored settings

* Alice Martell (The Martell Agency), New York, NY Open to all/most Genres Excluding: Fantasy, Science Fiction.

* Alice Speilburg (Speilburg Literary Agency), Louisville, KY In YA Fiction, I'm looking for diverse retellings of classic stories, stories rooted in mythology, contemporary fantasy with magical/supernatural worlds alongside our own (but not necessarily "urban," rural & suburban magical systems could be nice). Across the board, I'm looking for an inclusive cast of characters, across gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, and mental health spectrums.

* Alice Tasman (Jean Naggar Literary Agency), New York, NY Alice's fiction tastes, for young adult and adult books, ranging from commercial, literary fiction and history to thrillers and suspense, and women's fiction.

* Alicia Brooks (Jean Naggar Literary Agency), New York, NY she is looking for Memoir, Narrative Nonfiction, Self-Help, Pop Culture, Literary Fiction, Commercial Fiction, YA Fiction, Mystery/Crime, and Historical Fiction

* Alison Picard (Alison J. Picard Agency), Cotuit, MA Adult fiction and non-fiction, children's and young adult NO: short stories, poetry, plays, screenplays or sci-fi/fantasy.

* Allison Hunter (Janklow & Nesbit Associates), New York, NY literary and commercial fiction, especially women's fiction, as well as memoir, narrative nonfiction, cultural studies and pop culture. She is always looking for funny female writers, great love stories, campus novels, family epics, smart beach reads and for non-fiction projects that speak to the current cultural climate

* Alyssa Jennette (Stonesong Literary Agency), New York, NY children’s and adult fiction and picture books, graphic novels, and select pop culture nonfiction. She values diversity and inclusion; in fiction she enjoys ensemble casts with distinct voices, stories about poor characters and communities, and formats that are specific to a story and give it its own context. Alyssa is particularly interested in art/art history/art conservation, archaeology, mythology, language/translation, and criminal justice reform

* Alyssa Reuben (Paradigm Literary and Talent Agency), New York, NY adult, young adult, and the occasional middle grade fiction as well as smart, platform driven, nonfiction ranging from pop-culture, lifestyle, cookbooks, and narrative to memoir. She gravitates toward voice-driven non-fiction presenting a fresh point of view and particularly loves novels with an edge or a great romance arc.

* Amanda Leuck (Spencerhill Associates), Lakewood Ranch, FL contemporary and speculative fiction that explore social issues, YA fantasy based in mythology across cultures, historical novels that spark my need to know more, characters with disability, chronic illness or mental illness - that doesn't necessarily drive the plot, #ownvoices, women and girls in STEM, romantic plots and subplots that surprise me, LGBTQIA+ characters, the intersection of science and religion, or magic and convention, where what is real is not clear, animal and ecological themes

* Amanda Rutter (Red Sofa Literary), St. Paul, MN Open to a broad Audience, including: Adults, Middle grades, Young adults. Fantasy. Science fiction.

* Amelia Appel (Triada U.S. Literary Agency), Sewickley, PA For YA, she is particularly interested in stories with a savvy protagonist and a slightly dark tone that deal with serious coming-of-age issues well.

* Amy Elizabeth Bishop (Dystel, Goderich & Bourret, LLC), New York, NY Fiction-wise, I'm interested in both upmarket and literary women’s fiction, mysteries, and fiction from diverse and underrepresented authors. I'd love more literary fiction from women of color. I'm choosy about my historical fiction, preferring it voice-driven and female-centric, focusing on the stories of those that history has largely chosen to not tell. [[A bit tuckered out from American Revolution, Civil War, WWII, and Vietnam War, so I'm not really looking in that space.]] I'm always interested in stories that are not set in Western Europe or the East/West Coast. I'd love to see more speculative fiction/light horror, though I'm not as interested in science fiction or fantasy in the adult space at this time. I'm also looking for a literary thriller/literary suspense a la THE TWELVE LIVES OF SAMUEL HAWLEY or BARBED WIRE HEART. In YA: would love a smart contemporary rom-com that isn't just boy meets girl in high school (or if it is, it has to be a seriously new story), a fascinating, creepy retelling in the vein of Carmen Maria Machado, and light horror. I'd love to find a multi-generational story and am particularly interested in the intricacies of family (and sister!!) relationships. I'm a sucker for stories that take place in closed environments (like boarding schools) and though I appreciate romantic elements, I'm also eager to see narratives where a happy ending for women isn't necessarily a relationship. #ownvoices, always, please. Anything with some serious creep to it!

* Amy Brewer (Metamorphosis Literary Agency), Kansas City, MO She’s seeking: Romances of all kinds; if your plot revolves around love or angst or both, send it to her. She is also looking for general fiction, LGBTQ+, women’s fiction, book club reads, and quirky humor.

* Amy Jameson (A+B Works), New York, NY loves children’s literature, and is actively seeking Middle Grade and Young Adult projects.

* Amy Rennert (The Amy Rennert Agency), Tiburon, CA General fiction Mystery Biography Business/investing/finance History Mind/body/spirit Health Lifestyle Sports Literary fiction Narrative non-fiction especially memoir and reportage

* Amy Stapp (Wolfson Literary Agency), New York, NY Mystery/suspense Contemporary romance Contemporary coming-of-age Historical fiction Southern Gothic

* Amy Stern (Sheldon Fogelman Agency), New York, NY Summer camps, boarding schools, reality television, kids who are in some way extraordinary, puzzles, puns. I really love stories that involve close family relationships that both enhance and complicate the protagonists' lives. I want to see more mental illness stories that aren't just about diagnosis and LGBTQIA+ stories that aren't just about coming out.

* Andrea Barzvi (Empire Literary), New York, NY General fiction Romance Suspense/thriller Juvenile fiction Biography Business/investing/finance Mind/body/spirit

* Andrea Somberg (Harvey Klinger), New York, NY Upmarket fiction (i.e., bookclub fiction) that has a twist or sheds light on an intriguing issue Novels that explore cultural heritage YA or Adult novels that are based on a true story from the 20th century YA contemporary love stories/romantic comedies Epic fantasy, especially ones set in a non-Western culture, military sf or space opera Magical realism for the adult, YA or MG market. YA and MG novels that feature diverse protagonists YA psychological thrillers MG mystery novels MG novels that are funny and are illustrated MG or YA novels that'll make me cry Nonfiction for MG or YA audiences Any novel with great characters and a compelling storyline Unique nonfiction

* Andy Ross (Andy Ross Literary Agency), Oakland, CA (AAR Member) narrative non-fiction, history, politics and current events, science, journalism, cultural subjects. We also work with literary and young adult fiction

* Angela Rinaldi (The Angela Rinaldi Literary Agency), Los Angeles, CA (AAR Member) I am actively looking for fiction commercial, literary, mainstream women’s fiction, multicultural, suspense, book club fiction – novels where the story lends itself to discussion.

* Anjali Singh (Ayesha Pande Literary), New York, NY Her interests are wide-ranging and include literary as well as popular fiction, young adult, women’s, African-American and international fiction. She is also seeking authors of nonfiction, including biography, history, popular culture, cultural commentary, and memoir. She is particularly drawn to distinctive, original voices.

* Ann Behar (Scovil Galen Ghosh Literary Agency), New York, NY searching for wonderful children's books, from picture books to YA, ever since. I am looking for anything that is beautifully written, with a strong, distinct voice and characters that come alive on the page. Ideally, a book should grab my attention from the very beginning and hold it there, and leave me thinking about it for a few days after I am finished.

* Ann Rose (Prospect Agency), Upper Montclair, NJ YA of all genres: But especially stories that have heart and humor. I want you to transport me to new worlds--even if those "worlds" are in the middle of Iowa. But especially if its fantasy, I really want you to take me there and show me something I haven't seen before. I'd love some fantasy that's based on something other than western cultures. I'm always looking for strong character who are willing to stand up for their convictions--whether it be with their brains or their brawn. Give me fabulous friendship stories (and some no so fabulous ones). LGBTQIA+ stories!!! I'd still really love a story where two girls are running against each other for class president and then they fall in love. In both YA and MG I don't shy away from stories that deal with issues kids are dealing with today. I will say, if you are going to discuss topics like suicide make sure you've done your homework--proper language matters. I'd love to see more YA thriller--not necessarily gore but a story that keeps me on the edge of my seat, guessing until the very end. I'm still looking for my YA version of CLUE (and if it has three different endings, even better.) Which means mystery is a go for me, too. I'd love some YA that deals with toxic masculinity. A funny how to survive high school book with tips and tricks how to make the most out of your four years would be good. Show me characters who are beautifully flawed doing the wrong things for all the right reasons. Give me body positive MC's. Unique sports books--crossfit, ultimate Frisbee, rock climbing, mountain biking, roller derby, and even speed walkers. Oh, and twins - good twins, evil twins, twins that get along, twins that don't, rom-coms where twins switch places and hijinks happen... anything goes. Historicals that tackle things other than WW2--bonus points if there are badass women in in history.

* Anne Bohner (Pen and Ink Literary), New York, NY commercial women's fiction, romance, YA and popular nonfiction.

* Anne Hawkins (John Hawkins & Associates), New York, NY (AAR Member) Fiction of all sorts, non-fiction (contemporary journalism, history, biography, etc.), juveniles (although primarily young adult and middle grades, since we don´t specialize in illustrators, but having said that I should add that we represent several of the best), science-fiction and fantasy.

* Anne Tibbets (Red Sofa Literary), St. Paul, MN Right now, she's acquiring YA and Adult: Thrillers, Mysteries, Horror, Romance, Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Historicals.

* Annelise Robey (Jane Rotrosen Agency), New York, NY women’s fiction, romance, historical fiction, YA, fantasy, mystery, and suspense, and is always looking for exciting new voices in fiction

* Arielle Datz (Dunow, Carlson & Lerner Literary Agency), New York, NY (AAR Member) She is looking for literary and commercial fiction (mostly adult, some YA), featuring unusual stories and voices.

* Ashley Lopez (Waxman Literary Agency), New York, NY Ashley is looking for literary and young adult fiction, narrative nonfiction, memoir, and cultural criticism. Most importantly she seeks authors with a strong point of view and an eye for language.

This is the end of my fist alphabetical list of agents accepting queries in 2020. I hope this list was helpful to you, and wish you good luck in your querying!

[the-daily-tizzy]

It's a War

By David Horowitz

Originally published at Frontpagemag.com

By now it should be obvious - even to conservatives - that we are in a war. It is a conflict that began nearly fifty years ago when the street revolutionaries of the Sixties joined the Democrat Party. Their immediate goal was to help the Communist enemy win the war in Vietnam, but they stayed to expand their influence in the Democrat Party and create the radical force that confronts us today. The war that today’s Democrats are engaged in reflects the values and methods of those radicals. It is a war against us - against individual freedom, against America’s constitutional order, and against the capitalist engine of our prosperity.

Democrat radicals know what they want and where they are going. As a result, they are tactically and organizationally years ahead of patriotic Americans who are only beginning to realize they are in a war. The Democrats’ plan to steal the 2020 election was hatched many years ago when Democrats launched their first attacks on Voter I.D.s, and then every effort to secure the integrity of the electoral system. Those attacks metastasized into an all-out assault on Election Day itself with early- and late-voting grace periods, and a flood of 92 million mail-in ballots, hundreds of thousands of which were delivered in the middle of the night to be counted behind the backs of Republican observers after Election Day had passed.

The result of these efforts is that Election Day no longer really exists as a day when the votes are cast and counted. This is a fact that offers generous opportunities for the election saboteurs to do their work. Those saboteurs’ opportunities were greatly enhanced this year with the installation in battle ground states of voting machines specifically designed to calculate how many votes were required to steal an election and then to switch ballots already cast and deliver them to the chosen party. Mail-in ballots were indispensable to the realization of this plan.

I will not dwell at length on the years it took the Republican Party, and American patriots, to recognize what the Democrat Party had become or the threat it posed to our country as an enemy within. Suffice it to say that Republicans can still be heard referring to Democrats as “liberals” when it is obvious even to them that there is nothing liberal about their principles or methods. They are vindictive bigots who are actively destroying the First Amendment in our universities, on the Internet and in our once but no longer free press. Suffice it to note that while Democrats accuse Republicans including the President of being racists and traitors, the response of Republican leaders is this: “Oh, the Democrats are just playing politics.”

This is not “playing” people. It is war. They are trying to kill us politically, and we need to respond accordingly, to fight fire with fire. Today’s Democrat Party is a party of character assassins and racists. Republicans know this but are reluctant to say it. That is how a pathological liar and corrupt political whore like Joe Biden can accuse the choice of 73 million Americans of being a white supremacist and also murdering 220,000 corona virus patients. That’s why Biden and his gunslingers can do so with no consequences – without so much as a wrist slap – from “moderates” and independents, who know better. The Democrats’ ability to intimidate well-meaning Americans is that great.

Is this too blanket a condemnation? 

Where, then, is the Democrat who was outraged by the four-year Russia collusion hoax and the failed coup and impeachment attempts – all of which accused the president, without a shred of evidence, of treason? 

Where was the Democrat who dissented from the public lynching of an exemplary public servant, Justice Brett Kavanaugh, over an incident that never happened 37 years ago at a time when he was a high school kid? 

Where is the Democrat who has condemned the violent street criminals of Antifa and Black Lives Matter who got away with conducting the most destructive civic insurrection in American history, orchestrating mayhem and disrespect for the law that led to the murders of scores of people who happen to have been mainly black?

What follows is a basic vocabulary for understanding the political war that has engulfed us. 

When it is used by enough Americans who love their country, it will cancel the surreal universe that Democrats’ lies have imposed on us, and the war will be on its way to being won.

Democrats are not democrats; they are totalitarians. 

They have declared war on the First Amendment, the Second Amendment, the Electoral College, the Senate, the Supreme Court, the election system, and the idea of civil order. 

They have called for the Republican President of the United States to be de-platformed and jailed. 

Their obvious goal is a one-party state that criminalizes dissent. 

To them, support for such basic necessities as borders and law enforcement are racist. 

If you oppose their efforts to legalize infanticide, they will condemn you as enemies of women, and if you make videos of their confessions to selling body parts of murdered infants, they will - like Kamala Harris - throw you in jail.

Progressives are not progressive; they are reactionaries. 

They are out to abolish liberal value systems and create a status hierarchy where race, gender, and sexual orientation define and confine you to an unalterable place in their new social order. 

If you are white or male or heterosexual or religious – Justice Kavanaugh was all four - you are guilty before the fact.

But if you are a member of a designated (but increasingly imaginary) “victim” group you are innocent even when the facts show you are guilty - like the reprehensible female who lied to Congress in a calculated attempt to destroy Kavanaugh’s life and career. 

If you are a member of a “victim” group you have an unlimited license to persecute others. 

Thus, the LGBTQ lobby is currently behind a nation-wide crusade to strip Christians of their First Amendment rights and criminalize their religion. They use their victim status to leverage their hate of people who don’t embrace their agendas, and deploy it to crush them – and only Republicans seem to care.

Identity politics is a pure form of racism, yet Trump is the only Republican I’m aware of who has had the political spine to call a Democrat a racist. 

Identity “wokism” is a totalitarian politics because it encompasses every aspect of life, down to the pronouns one is ordered to use. 

The progressive police state will leave no space free.

Racists and aspiring totalitarians are what Democrats have become. 

The only moral principle they are guided by is the old Bolshevik saw, “the ends justify the means.” 

They will say anything however false and condone anything, however criminal, which advances their goal of maximum power.

Since race is the principal weapon wielded by Democrats, this is most evident in their claim that there is “systemic racism” in America, which needs to be rooted out even if it means destroying the very foundations of law and order. 

When two Republican canvassers refused to certify the election result in Detroit – a city once the richest in America but now mainly black and poor thanks to fifty-nine years of misrule by Democrats – they were accused of “systemic racism.” This charge and the accompanying threats by the Democrat mob were so intimidating the two withdrew their objections. 

But if there was in fact election fraud in Detroit, to object to it is not by any stretch of the imagination “systemic racism.” To believe otherwise is to believe that black people, due to their skin color, are incapable of committing election fraud. 

How racist is that?

“Systemic racism” is an assertion made reflexively by Democrats that is never accompanied by evidence. 

For good reason. 

Systemic racism has been outlawed in America since the Civil Rights Act of 1964. 

If there were actual instances of systemic racism in 2020, there would be lawsuits – plenty of them. 

Even making the racist assumption, which the Identity Politics crowd does make, that all white people are white supremacists by dint of their skin color, there are tens of thousands of black lawyers, prosecutors, district attorneys, attorneys general, and elected officials who would be filing lawsuits over a practice that is illegal. 

You never hear of massive lawsuits over systemic racism, because “systemic racism” is a myth. 

The myth lives because it is an indispensable weapon wielded by Democrats to advance their anti-democratic agendas and quests for power.

But the only reason Democrats are able to do this so successfully – even going so far as to justify the arson, looting and general destruction in more than 600 American cities this summer – is because Republicans, and conservatives generally, are too cowardly to confront them. 

This war will continue until patriotic Americans summon the courage to call Democrats the racists, liars, character assassins and aspiring totalitarians that they actually are. 

And to do so in so many words. 

Blowback works.

David Horowitz is the author of The Enemy Within: How A Totalitarian Movement is Destroying America

⚠️Re-blog at your own risk...while you still can...

[wildwcmen]

basic information

Full Name: Francesca Mai Vu

Nickname(s): Frankie, almost exclusively

Age: 19-25

Date of Birth: December 21

Hometown: Upstate New York

Ethnicity: Vietnamese

Nationality: American

Gender: Cis Woman

Pronouns: She/Her

Religion: Unknown

Occupation: Stand Up Comedian, Actress

Language(s) Spoken: English, Vietnamese

Voice: American accent, high pitched, giggly, excited voice

physical appearance

Face Claim: Lana Condor

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Dark brown

Height: 5′3

Weight: 121 lbs

Build: Petite, rectangle body shape, slightly large chest.

Tattoos: None.

Piercings: Ears

Clothing Style: Bright colors, neons, strange attire that turns heads, heart and star shaped sunglasses, ring pops as a fashion accessory, 80-90′s chic.

Usual Expression: Laughing loudly. You hear her before you see her.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Chubby cheeks, bob length haircut

health

Sleeping Habits: She can function on any amount of sleep. Don’t test her, she’ll pull an all nighter just to prove it.

Eating Habits: GOOD FOOD !! She loves Vietnamese food, for obvious reasons. Her mother is a baker and she’s very fond of sweets, pastries, candies, etc.

Exercise Habits: She exercises daily, mostly cardio with some strength training.

Emotional Stability: 8/10

Sociability: Social butterfly!!

Drug Use: Cannabis sometimes, otherwise no.

Alcohol Use: Socially.

personality

Label: The Clown

Positive Traits: funny, outgoing, personable.

Negative Traits: crass, doesn’t take things seriously, accidentally insensitive.

Fears: Failing her comedy career, having to go to school and get a day job

Hobbies: Comedy (watching/performing), acting, bike riding, exercising

Habits: Cracking her fingers

favourites

Weather: Hot, summer weather

Colour: Bright ass orange

Music: Funky pop music

Movies: Anything comedic, even if it’s terrible ! She loves “so bad it’s good” movies.

Sport: She’s not really attached to any specific sport

Beverage: Root Beer, strawberry lemonade

Food: Che Ba Mau

Animal: Unicorns

extra

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn/Sagittarius Cusp Sun, Taurus rising, Taurus Moon

MBTI: ESTJ

Enneagram: The Challenger

Temperament: Choleric

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good

Primary Vice: Kindness

Primary Virtue: Gluttony

Element: Air

flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | avoidant | restless.

strengths

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny.

skills & hobbies

art | acting | astronomy | animals | archery | sports | beach combing | ballet | bird watching | blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess | music | cooking | crochet | weaving | exercise | swordplay | fishing | gardening | ghost hunting | ice skating | magic | engineering | building | inventing | leather-working | martial arts | meditation | origami | parkour | people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading | collecting | shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling.

human verse

Frankie didn't grow up with much money, but she grew up with a lot of love. Her father was a struggling comedian for most of his adult life, and most of the family's money came through her mother's work as a chef. Frankie's father always told her to go into anything other than comedy, not wanting her to go through the same struggles that he went through. Frankie, of course, had her own ideas. She fell in love with comedy and started performing at clubs as a teenager. It was about that time, too, that her father finally found fame. In spite of his own success, Frankie's father still encouraged her to go to college rather than immediately pursuing comedy. She eventually drops out in favor of working and does very well for herself. Having her father's name tacked onto hers certainly helps. Frankie is playful and goofy, not taking much seriously.

[sebastianshaw]

And I’m sure Snowbird getting a happy ending had nothing to do with her being a blonde white woman and Haven being a dark skinned woc

I don’t think it was THE reason, but I would not rule it out as a contributing factor.

The major reason is that Snowbird is a hero and a major character, whereas Haven was an extremely minor character and a villain. So it’s pretty standard in that regard for Snowbird to get a happy ending, and Haven not to. Especially considering that, while Snowbird was not a character that “belonged” to anyone in particuliar, Haven was the creation of DeMatteis and when he left the book, so did she. That’s why her story just ENDS so abruptly after her confrontation with Charles, even though it seems like it should just be getting starting---her creator took off, and the new writer wasn’t interested in her.

She pops back up in the annual a year or two later to die, and I strongly suspect this was due to readers writing in and asking what happened to her; I can’t confirm this for fact, but TV Tropes claimed that fans actually refused to root against her because she was so sympathetic and benevolent, so I imagine a lot of them wanted to know where she went and this was to get them to shut up.

(It kind of reminds me of when this webcomic writer wrote a character he meant as despicable and twisted, and she was, but she was also way more deep and interesting than the 2D mouthpieces the protagonists were, so fans kept asking when she’d come back. He got so fed up he drew her dying in a gross and humiliating way. So yeah, if people were indeed asking “what happened to Haven and her evil possessed fetus?” and writing her dying in the mud giving birth while a goddess victim-blames her was the response...yeah. Again I cannot be for sure this is what happened, it’s just a GUESS.)

But yeah the big reason is Snowbird is a heroine and important, Haven was a flash-in-the-pan villain that only one writer wanted to write and had to be gotten out of the way when someone new came in. Nothing deeper than that. But the WAY that Haven’s story played out, especially compared to Snowbird’s...that’s got a lot of sexism and quite potentially racism there, yeah. So um, let’s get into that. Under a cut for length because I doubt people following a Shaw blog for Shaw want to see a bunch of non-Shaw rambling.

Haven’s story, as I have written about MANY times on her blog, is REALLY UNCOMFY in its sexism, racism, and xenophobia. Let me say, I do not think DeMatteis intended this. He writes Haven as a very kind, well-intentioned person even at her worst, and I happen to know he has a genuine real-life interest in Indian spirituality, which I think is definitely what inspired her. Unfortunately, these good intentions didn’t stop Unfortunate Implications galore: - Our first Indian/Hindu/Zoroastrian character is not only a villain, her “evil” philosophy is taken directly from real-world Hindu beliefs - She is opposed by a team comprised ENTIRELY of white people who work for the US government who scoff at those beliefs and refer to them as “New Age” (aka a white hippie movement that appropriated a lot of actual Hindu ideas but certainly did not invent it!) - The US government says she’s a terrorist. Polaris raises doubts, because Haven’s actions at that point have been nothing but benevolent (she saved Polaris) whereas the same government making these accusations has been malevolent (the people trying to kill/capture Polaris were US agents, despite Polaris working for the government, who attacked her because she had the same energy signal as Magneto) When they go to see Haven in person, she’s preaching peace between humans and mutants. Havok opens fire on her---so basically, a law enforcement officer shooting without warning at an unarmed WOC who isn’t doing anything threatening and they don’t even know has superpowers yet--and Haven has to hit the deck. Despite her own great power that we later learn she has, she never retaliates. But we find out that yes, actually, everything the government said about her is true, she’s leading a terrorist death-cult, and so it’s a-okay that our white government cop FIRED A FUCKING PLASMA BURST AT HER WHEN SHE WAS JUST STANDING THERE. The moral of her story is seriously “this brown woman with a funny religion is a terrorist because the government said so, no matter how nice and gentle she seems, and thus any excessive force against her was definitely justified even if we didn’t know that at the time” like it’s CHILLING. - Haven herself actually has very questionable agency in all this. She’s actually been pregnant for twenty years; her unborn child is permanently in the first trimester and possessed by the powerful demon known as The Adversary (which doesn’t make sense timeline-wise, but I have no doubt this thing can time travel, its entire point is to fuck the rules of universal order) We don’t know exactly how much it can influence her or perhaps even control her, but we do know it’s been talking in her head from 20 years and came on at a time she was REALLY messed up and vulnerable, and manipulated her at the least. I personally think it probably was controlling or influencing her at a very deep subtle level, but that’s just my interpretation. At the least though, again, talking in her head for 20 years, that’s the supernatural equivalent of schizophrenia and we wouldn’t blame her for THAT, right? - Oh, and about it appearing when she was at her lowest, most vulnerable point? Know why she was at her lowest, most vulnerable point just when she happened to be pregnant? Haven’s story is she was born extremely rich but was so passionate about using her privilege to help the poor that she ran away from her parents---philanthropists themselves, but who wanted to protect her from the outside world too---to go work directly in the streets, bathing lepers and cradling dying babies. She got her name “Haven” because she used her wealth to renovate a children’s hospital of the same name, I’m serious. She was literally a fucking SAINT. And then she fell in love with a man, and he used her, knocked her up, and ran off. She was DEEPLY ashamed and berated herself not only for her loss of “purity” but also for being “selfish” and forgetting the children. This is...so sad, and so DEEPLY entrenched in how women, ESPECIALLY women of color in a colonized culture, are considered “selfish” and “evil” if they don’t utterly sacrifice themselves 24/7 to care for others and dare have wants/needs of their own. So she fell into this deep despair and that’s when her fetus starts talking to her and filling her head with twisted lies that preyed on both her devout spirituality and her desire to help others.

There is no more sympathetic villain setup POSSIBLE, you’d think Haven would be a SHOE-IN for a redemption arc or at least being saved from her own “child”, but she gets neither. She dies alone in the mud, having only now realized as the birth is coming just what it is she’s about the bring into the world. Roma, the Omniversal Guardian Goddess and eternal foe of the Adversary, appears to watch. Haven begs her, not to save her own life but to stop the Adversary from the terrible things it’s going to do to the world. To her last breath, her concern is others. And Roma tells her “I would weep for you, but you brought this on yourself.” So basically, Haven, who is the most wonderful person in the world and who VERY much fits expected gender roles (gentle, maternal, loving, non-violent even when attacked, long hair, pink and purple flowing clothes, literally SPARKLES) has sex ONE TIME and she’s punished for it in the worst fucking way while the guy who impregnated her gets off scott-free. It’s just...it’s the worst narrative, in terms of sexism AND racism AND just in general. That’s not even getting into, say, the really uncomfy way her meeting with Xavier is handled, eesh. Compare, Snowbird. She’s actually far LESS the “perfect” woman than Haven is, she’s very cold and aloof and she even contemplates LETTING HER SON DIE so that her ties with mortality will be severed and she can join her divine family in paradise. But she had that son within the confines of MARRIAGE to a mortal man, and she only got married after her duties were done, unlike Haven on both counts. And her loss, and the loss of her child, are deeply mourned by those around her, she has a very dignified and beautiful funeral with Snow White style glass coffins, and we see the spirits of herself, her husband, and her child all ascend to the Inua paradise together, the gods having decided to let them in even though mortals have never been allowed before. She gets divine exception, Haven gets divine condemnation. She gets a beautiful funeral surrounded by loved ones, Haven’s corpse is probably still rotting in the jungle and her brother likely still has no idea what happened to her. To be clear I in no way resent Snowbird for her better treatment in a similiar story, I like Snowbird, but it is very disparate in how differently these seemingly similar situations---possessed baby and such---were handled, and the specific ways in which Haven’s were handled so badly ARE very much the product of bigotry that Snowbird didn’t suffer in part due to her being a white or white-coded character (in addition to being, again, a heroine and a major character, which helped her a lot too) Also, is it just me or is Marvel like...weird around childbirth/babies/motherhood and mixing that with demons/evil spirits/possession? Because in that same vein we’ve also got Madelyne Pryor and Wanda Maximoff who also go through demonic possession that’s related in some way to being mothers of babies. That’s a very strange pattern to have and something’s going on there.   As a note, it bugs me that Snowbird’s human disguise as “Anne McKenzie” is a BLONDE WHITE WOMAN. Like, yes, her human father was white, but her mother Nelvanna is one of the Inua, the ancient gods of Canada from LONG before white people showed up and WHO LOOK LIKE FIRST NATIONS PEOPLE, Snowbird herself is constantly emphasized as a child of these lands, she is literally magically BOUND to these lands and can’t leave them without weakening and dying, she was raised by an indigenous shaman, and she can only turn into animals that are INDIGENOUS to Canada. She is very unsubtly the embodiment of pre-colonial Canada, so it’s just...asinine to me her human form is that of a colonizer. I get they probably didn’t think further than “let’s give her human form blonde hair so it’s recognizably her” but like, that’s the problem, they didn’t THINK. Also I feel like her being mixed would really thematically fit her, since a strong part of her story was struggling between her divine and human heritage and being forced to try to “pick a side” which is something I’ve heard (I’m white) that a lot of irl mixed people deal with. It just would make more SENSE.