#their relationship is so complex and wonderful and i think these songs capture them pretty well?

[orange-sunshines]

i need a toga+uraraka edit/animatic to all the things she said AND/or blow my brains out

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

So what was the thought process you and @twinanimatronics had for Moon and DJMM being besties?

Like I know that's a huge fanon thing (though i think y'all were one of the early ones) but is it something yall based on game data or character analysis?

Ohhh!!!

A pretty good question.

I think part of it had to do with @factual-fantasy's wonderful au and comics of the DJ being very close buds with Sun and Moon.

But I think there was a bit more to it then that.

I think I just wanted a fanfiction mostly centered around Moon and the DJ's friendship because they're both Security bots and are the only two animatronics in the Pizzaplex that go back to being "mainly chill" after their initial segment. (Moon showing up at every hourly recharge being super easy to avoid outside his initial Daycare Segment and Sun just stays in the slide all other times)

I also remember seeing the headcanon in @paper-lilypie's old comics that Moon had a music box, which was a popular hc, that Ceph and I have actually proved to be canon with our rabid exploring of the Pizzaplex map like its an archeological dig site.

Made me get to thinking if Moon used his music box often, what songs would he use?

Also got me thinking about how the DJ makes up his own songs on rotation to avoid copyright. He's essentially an AI generated song prompt, but far more endearing and self-aware. DJMM makes his own bouncer chase music to capture Gregory and that's pretty endearing to me.

Thought about Moon stealing DJ's songs to use in his music box. (and yes, I know real life music boxes are made with a set song in mind and he can't rotate them unless there are discs in there. But idk. lol don't think about the mechanics of this too hard of how a music box actually works)

Made me think that Moon would like relaxing Lofi beats that the DJ would make for him.

Lofi Beats to Capture Children to was initially planned to be five chapters. Just showing glimpses into the lives of DJMM and Moon interacting, from a more DJ-themed perspective, with the pov changing between Moon and the DJ...

But I kept adding more things into there.

Once I realized Sun had to be a character in this, the perspective strictly stayed with Sun and Moon.

Like an OC that was meant to just be a foil, and die for character development for the Daycare Attendant turned out to be more complex then I thought as he just became a worse version of myself and I wanted to see him get better so I made a spin-off entirely about him.

I realized I wanted to have Vanny in this, because I love Vanessa. I wanted to show the toxic but completely codependent relationship the DCA has with Vanessa. Because... Well, let's face it, Vanessa is a non-character in her own game. Many fans don't love her in the way I do. Even the most hard wired DCA fans don't really have anything to say about Vanny/Vanessa.... and either ignore she exists... or she's a meangirl background character not important to the plot. Despite the fact that Vanny and Moon's relationship is the driving force for so many things that happen in Security Breach. To the point where the Daycare Attendant is literally a thematic parallel to the Vanny/Vannessa relationship... Something I've been screaming about since Security Breach came out and no one listened.... But I was right. To the Point it's explicitly confirmed in Help Wanted 2.

And I also realized that if Sun was going to be a character, I had to establish life for them for a good chunk of it and how fast things go down. I had to determine whether I wanted them to be their separate things, or one person with DID. And ... While I do think that DID is actually canon..... it's something I don't have experience with writing, and I feel that I would end up saying or portraying it offensively. Especially since the DCA already kinda has the "bad alter" archetype in canon. Plus, to coexist with Twins where they get seperated and they're learning to be their own people... It just makes more sense to have a level of miscommunication between the two. So we understand Sun's fear and need for control. (like in canon Sun has no reason to string up fairylights in his dark room... other then just to never have moon switch over and make him uncomfortable. There's no kids in their room to capture. The generators can stay on in the pizzaplex and their room could be dark and the children would be safe. Sun is making it so Moon can't switch at all... and while that is horrible for Moon, it's important to see where that level of distrust and anger and controlling behavior stems from, and why Moon might be afraid of him in twins)

And If I wanted the DJMM to be friends with Moon, I also needed excuses for Moon to go there. I also needed to consider his relationship with the other Glamrocks and animatronics in the pizzaplex. I had to show how isolated Sun was and how much Sun cared for the kids, genuinely.

So the whole thing snowballed and it sometimes becomes intimidating to work on.

I guess long story short... The DJ is cool. And Moon is cool. I love them both and they make a really great non-verbal pair.

I absolutely love Lofi. So thanks for sending this ask. I know I haven't updated in awhile. But you think being unemployed would give me more freetime... lol but I'm mostly depressed and stressed.

[petruchio]

obviously oops! i did it again is a cheeky and funny title for the follow-up to one of the biggest albums in teen pop, like, ever, and it’s a wink to the essentially preordained success of the album from a commercial standpoint. it’s cute — we all love it.

but the thing is, oops isn’t actually just a retread of bomt! it’s easy to dismiss britney’s lyrics as just the nonsense of swedish pop royalty trying to sound cool, but i think there’s more to it than that. bomt is full of songs about breakups and having to say goodbye — symbolically we could read this as a goodbye to britney’s ‘normal’ life. it’s actually pretty interesting that her big launch was not a ‘hello’ to hollywood and fame, but a ‘goodbye’ to small-town life. sometimes is about avoidance and anxiety in an early relationship, from the bottom of my broken heart wistfully reflects on a first love that’s now over. autumn goodbye, born to make you happy, and yes, even email my heart are all breakup songs. they’re about wondering how things could have changed so quickly, begging for one more chance. you could almost say that lyrically, baby one more time is actually an album concerned with loneliness. “it’s killing me now.”

so where does oops pick up that thread? it reclaims that loneliness! she literally leaves it behind, singing “my loneliness ain’t killing me no more” and instead, dives into larger questions around authenticity, selfhood, and fame. sure, many of these ideas are filtered through that lens of relationships — but the lyrics are much less concerned with the behavior of somebody else (give me a sign, move slow, email my heart) and instead focuses in on the singer’s own experiences and inner feelings: “i’m not that innocent,” “now it’s nothing but my way,” “you should never try to change me, i can be nobody else, and i like the way i am!” and all of these declarations are made even more interesting by the way the album explores fame: songs like what u see, oops, and the satisfaction cover belie a newfound confidence, and can’t make you love me and lucky both explore the the complexities of having “everything” but wishing you could trade it all away for something real. all of this makes it especially interesting that the album closes with dear diary — and makes the lyric “no one in the world knows me better than you” feel all the more impactful, as oops has taken us with britney on the journey of skyrocketing fresh fame.

of course, it’s not groundbreaking to suggest that each of britney’s albums are reflections of where she was in her life and career — but while bomt and oops seem like silly teen pop, there are themes and evolutions we can trace between them that will set the stage for what comes next. songs like overprotected and not a girl will expand on many of the themes we see in these first two albums (and what is britney the album if not the moment when britney spears the singer became britney the mononymous icon?) and in the zone will bring the self back to the center of every song, until it’s only me against the music, the touch of my hand, a brave new girl (and what is in the zone if britney not 100% locked in creatively?) and blackout … well, blackout is blackout (perfection.)

oops! i did it again is a perfect sophomore album for britney: one which reclaims and reinterprets the themes of her debut while expanding further into the consequences of fame and success. it deals with the complicated feelings associated with her rapid evolution as a person and and artist and, quite frankly, a teenage girl. it's an evolution and an exploration. it's captures a unique moment of transformation. it embodies the absolute best of what it can mean to make teen pop.

[sophia-sol]

some of my favourite vids

lirazel expressed interest in a rec list of some of my favourite vids and I am very suggestible when it comes to rec lists so here you go! :D Unfortunately a few of the older vids that I remember fondly are no longer available online for me to share with you (the batman vid set to johnny cash's cover of hurt! the highlander vid about methos/lord byron! and more!), but there are still plenty of excellent vids up and about, and new ones worth watching keep being made!

Yes this rec list is 22 vids long, shush, I couldn't cut any of these out. I just got so emotional in the process of making this rec list at how wonderful an artform the fanvid is! It can do so many different things! It can be so powerful in such a brief space of time!

I've ordered the list below alphabetically by fandom. I go through a lot of different fandoms here!

And it was so fun too to work on practicing my skills at describing a vid and explaining what's good about it; I have many years of practice at talking about written narratives, but interpreting and talking about visual media is still a skillset that I'm not instinctively good at and don't have as much experience with. But I think I did pretty good with these vids. I hope you enjoy them!

(put behind a readmore to keep this post from being overwhelmingly long on your dash!)

1. Problem, by talitha78 Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky/Steve Look I may be totally burnt out on the MCU at this point but damn did CA:TWS have some good fanworks. This is a vid that is gleefully and wholeheartedly throwing itself into depicting Bucky through the lens of of this natalia kills song with a straight face. I still sometimes find myself singing "girl is a problem" to myself about things, because of this vid.

2. All In Together, by odessie The Great British Bake-Off, ensemble This vid encapsulates the spirit of the show (…at least, the show when it was a BBC show, before it moved to Channel 4), which is about everybody being weird, dedicated, enthusiastic, imperfect, and all in it together despite it being ostensibly a competition. "Celebrate your oddities, your art, your own insanity." YEAH. It's so cheering!

3. All We Got, by anoel The Great Gatsby, Daisy/Gatsby One of those where I've read the book but not seen the adaptation, but I feel like watching this vid gives me everything I need from seeing an adaptation of the story! Sharply edited use of the beautiful visuals; really creates the necessary feeling of high energy glitz papering over emptiness, which the book honestly doesn't do a good enough job at lol.

4. Show Me Your Teeth, by Dogstar Hieronymous Bosch's artwork, all of Bosch's weird little guys It's strange, a bit surreal, energetic. My immediate reaction when I first saw this vid was "wtf in the best way." I'm so impressed with how the vidder could make such a compelling vid out of static artwork!

5. God's Gonna Cut You Down, by sholio Highlander, Methos & Cassandra & the horsemen There were so many excellent highlander fanvids back in the day but this is one of the ones that has really stuck with me, with its perfect encapsulation of the complexities of the relationships in the "Comes a Horseman" and "Revelations 6:8" pair of episodes, paired with exactly the right song.

6. In Which Sophie Expresses Her Feelings In The Absence Of Weedkiller, by ryfkah Howl's Moving Castle, Howl/Sophie The vidder took on the challenge of using the movie's footage to make a vid about the book's version of the story, and did an incredible job! I adore this vid and how perfectly it captures Sophie and Howl and their relationship.

7. A Tune Like the End of the World, by frith_in_thorns Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, John Childermass Although I haven't seen the tv show, I have read the book it's based on a LOT, so I can more or less figure out which character is who in the visuals from context, lol. I love how good this vid is at getting the atmosphere of the story right; the atmosphere is such an important part of it!

8. Work This Body, by CherryIce Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, ensemble Just really encapsulates the sense of joy and fun that the movie is all about! I don't know what else to say about it, other than that I have rewatched this vid a ridiculous number of times and it keeps being fun. (Unfortunately the streaming version is no longer available, but it's still up for download!)

9. Let's Go (Young Men Dead), by sweetestdrain Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence The vid that got me to finally watch the movie, and discover how the movie, despite the various critiques it's worthwhile to make of it, is a really brilliant work of art. And the vid, too, is a brilliant work of art! SO many feelings. It's got the vibes just right, of this enormous, larger-than-life story and the relentless grinding-down of everyone involved, the inevitable despairing end to everything. The way it uses juxtaposition and empty spaces! I get emotional rewatching the vid even now, 8 years after watching the movie.

10. Parachute, by thingswithwings Leverage, Eliot/Hardison/Parker I may not have ever seen the show but I've read enough fanfic to be fully on board for this ot3, and this vid depicts them in the BEST way, the way they love and trust and like and rely on each other, and the joy they have in each other! And it does a beautiful job of highlighting each of the three sides of the triangle as well as the three of them all together, too.

11. Under Pressure, by violace The Martian, ensemble It's a vid about the way so many people come together to save Mark Watney: working together, hoping together, caring together, celebrating together. Still able to touch my cynical little heart in these days of looking at the world around me in despair. Humans WANT to help each other!

12. Landsailor, by raven multifandom, ensembles The vidder describes this vid as an "ode to infrastructure" and that's like. what it is! It's about people coming together to do the hard work of building something bigger than any one of them, and it's so joyful and inspiring, tbh! I am familiar with very few of the fandoms it includes but you don't need to know them to get the gist, to follow the story being told.

13. Oh No!!! by findmeinthealps Nirvana in Fire, Prince Yu Prince Yu has a very bad time in Nirvana in Fire and I love to see it, beautifully framed from his point of view in this vid. Yes I grinned all the way through it. Sorry Prince Yu!! (not sorry.)

14. At Last, by eruthros Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat/food The canon is a delightful 4-episode cooking show. This vid of it is set to the most schmaltzy of old-school love songs, and it is about how much JOY both good food and good friends bring, featuring many loving shots of food plus Samin Nosrat's expressive face, and I just melt into feelings.

15. Soccer Practice, by bironic Stargate: SGA, John/Ronon A silly, delightful vid about sexual innuendo between two bros. Serious and emotional fanvids are so good but sometimes it's great to just lol.

16. Tik Tok, by MissSheenie Star Trek: TOS, ensemble It's a classic for a reason. How could I not include it? As I recall, even Kesha agrees that this vid understands her song.

17. dirty work, by voordeel-ts Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi This vidder is one of the only ones I've seen who can include pieces of the original audio into a vid in a way that actually works for me, the audio incorporated into the music in rhythm so that it all feels of one piece. Their vids are always fast and stylish, and this one is no exception, as it takes a look at Obi-Wan and his use of violence.

18. Start a War, by ifshehadwings (sophie_448) The Untamed, Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao do a lot of their worst stuff behind the scenes, out of the view of the camera, and this vid does an amazing job of bringing that forward and making it legible, focusing on the horrible things each of them do in the name of fulfilling their goals. This is also an excellent example of a vid that uses a slow song and relatively slow cuts and yet never loses its intensity and forward momentum. Hats off!

19. a love that won't sit still, by Aria The Untamed, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Just the perfect vid of wangxian from Lan Wangji's perspective? holy shit. What DO you do with a love that won't sit still or do what it's told?! And I love the way it incorporates the pain and difficulties of Wei Wuxian's death and the years without him, leading into that last quieter gentler repeat of the chorus that slowly builds back up again.

20. Lose My Breath, by deirdre_c White Nights, Kolya/Ray Sooooo I've never actually seen White Nights BUT. This vid is such a beautiful encapsulation of a relationship between two men being told through the medium of dance. And the way all the dancing and other physicality in the video is made to feel like it belongs with the vid's song is just so seamless! The way the whole thing just feels so grounded in their bodies and the way that the two of them play off each other! I could watch it forever.

21. Such A Loser, by sandalwoodbox Yuri!!! On Ice, ensemble The show made me care so much about all the skaters, and want all of them to win, which of course is impossible. But this vid uses a joke song from a parody music duo to somehow perfectly encapsulate the way that all the characters' striving is worth celebrating, whether they win or not. Super heartwarming!

22. Never Look Away, by helcinda Yuri on Ice, Viktor/Yuuri Wow, the experience of watching this ship vid is just me making a heart-eyes face at my computer screen the whole time. Highly recommend the experience!

[star-consultant]

Bright are the stars

You need a Beatle song that perfectly encapsulates your sign? Of course you do. (Spotify playlist) 

Aries—“I Saw Her Standing There” 

One two three FOUR! An eager and intense song for an eager and intense sign. Aries falls hard and fast, with a tendency to rash vows that everyone doubts they mean—but Aries doesn’t doubt. Paul (who later styled himself as a "ram” at a key point in his creative development) makes good on the Cardinal Fire vibe with his exuberant vocals, and John of the Aries rising contributed the street-smart innuendo that utterly makes the song: And you know what I mean. Fittingly, this song kicked off the group’s first album, which itself has plenty of Aries “HELLO I AM HERE TO MAKE A MARK ON YOUR WORLD! (like me plz ok? this is my heart and i am Doing My Best??)” energy. 

Taurus—“All I’ve Got to Do"

A song that takes its sweet time but burrows deeper than the average ear-worm into your consciousness. It’s a patient song that is unassuming but knows exactly what the hell it’s doing. The intensity builds bit by bit, so that you’re unaware when the power of the bridge comes crashing down. Describes the Taurean romantic ideal: lazy, loyal, cozy, constant, tender, and ever-so-true. Also, “All I’ve Got to Do” is featured on the second album, With the Beatles, which has plenty of other Bullish touches, noticeable even with a casual glance at the tracklist: “Don’t Bother Me,” “Not a Second Time,” and “Money (That’s What I Want).” 

Gemini—“She Loves You”

Paul is a Gemini Sun, and throughout his catalogue it shows. But perhaps he never topped the Twinniness of this energetic, optimistic, breathless, gossipy classic. It was composed “eye-to-eye” with John, a truly dual-authored song, and one the rare Beatles numbers where the two lead vocalists double up on every single line, in true (Nerk) Twin fashion. Also the first but definitely not the last of their many “third-person narratives,” Paul’s novelistic instead of confessional slant being distinctly a Gemini thing. The speaker in this one couldn’t be more enthusiastic about this relationship if it were already repaired, and he couldn’t be more enthusiastic about it if it were his. Love is great! People reconciling is great! You should be glad, dumbass! But the real corker? What makes this so Gemini that it hurts? Yoko has confirmed that in the early 70s, during her separation with John, she actually had Paul play agony aunt. Then, during that meetup in L.A. where they were last photographed together, Paul urged John to “apologize to her” and get back together... which he did. That’s right. "She Loves You” is not merely a Gemini’s song: it’s a Gemini’s life. 

Cancer—“Octopus’s Garden”

Ringo the Crab’s musically-complex fantasy about an underwater sanctuary where children are “happy and safe,” he and his lover can be together, and there’s “no one there to tell us what to do.” George (a triple Water sign himself, probably not-so-incidentally) always insisted that his best mate’s song Had Depths, and he himself supplied a lot of them: check out his lead guitar lines. They function as emotional counterpoint. When Ringo’s vocal line is especially wistful, the guitar is bright; when Ringo ends on a confident note, the guitar is quirky, ironic, even stiff-upper-lip pessimistic. Result: a shifting kaleidoscope of FEELS. The Moon approves. 

Leo—“Good Day Sunshine” 

Paul perfectly expresses his own Leo moon with a sublime, vibrant ode to laughter, love, and pride on a cloudless summer day. The bit in the lyrics about she knows she’s looking fine and I’m so proud to know that she is mine? That’s not marring the high tone of the song: that is part of the tone. Hear us roar! And by “roar” I mean "laugh and canoodle, coz Leo is about living the good life, bitches.” 

Virgo—“Please Please Me” 

What’s fair is forkin’ fair, mate! A exemplary blend of Virgo’s Mutable passive-aggressive sensitivity with its Elemental directness... half-critical, half-begging... plus the very sign-typical humblebragging. About their sexual prowess. Damn, Virgo. People forget how Earthy you really are sometimes. But here we are. In very Virgo fashion, instead of ditching the girl he’s decided to harangue her. On a more meta note, the Beatles were still studio virgins when they first began crafting this song, and it took several passes and incorporation of George Martin’s feedback before it became the bursting pop hit as we know it now. There’s that Virgo work ethic paying off.

Libra—“Strawberry Fields Forever”

The imagery of the title suggests an eternal harvest. But the star sign resemblance goes deeper than that: Always, no, sometimes think it’s me, but, you know, I know when it’s a dream. I think, er, no, I mean, er, yes, but it’s all wrong... that is, I think I disagree. Did you just hear your Libra roommate rambling after a joint, or did you listen to verse three of “Strawberry Fields”? Same difference. The song is absolutely lovely, as anything associated with the child of Venus should be, and innovative, as befits a Cardinal sign. Most of all, even in all of Libra Sun John’s weighing and weed-wandering, he knows one thing: he’s got to take someone else along with him. A companion, stat! 

Scorpio—“While My Guitar Gently Weeps”

George of the Scorpio moon and Scorpio ascendant had to really lean into this side of his nature to even get this damn track properly recorded. He resorted to the social power play of inviting Eric frickin’ Clapton into the tense post-India studio just to get Lennon, McCartney, and Martin to give his song proper Beatle recording magic. Which it deserved. The dark drama of the hard-won arrangement is the perfect Scorpio accompaniment to the moody, reflective lyrics about “all the love there that’s sleeping” in this weary world. There’s tender, horrified pity here for those who are stifled into inauthenticity: I don’t know how nobody told you how to unfold your love. I don’t know how someone controlled you; they bought and sold you... Bonus points for the Watery ‘just can’t even’-ness of not being able to so much as pick up a damn broom. 

Sagittarius—“Something” 

You’re asking me, will my love grow? I don’t know, I don’t know! A deeply instinctual lover knows that Cupid has done hit a bullseye. He remains emphatically ambivalent about the future, but he knows what he feels in this moment, and in that moment is romance and wonder that is as deep as the earth is from the heavens. Sags are intense, but of all the Fire signs they are most far-seeing and detached (due to their Mutable quality, which makes them see the world a bit more like an Air sign does). “Something” keeps trying to capture that je-ne-sais-quoi, and despite the speaker’s happiness he can’t help but circle back again and again to take another shot at that the mental target. A philosopher even when in love. Ultimately, however, he doesn’t want to leave her now... which for a restless Sag is already saying a ton.

Capricorn—“Revolution”

John let his unfashionable midheaven Capricorn off the leash with this blunt, pointed savaging of radical and violent revolutions. (Given the tanks on Tiananmen Square and the millions dead on the killing fields of Cambodia, I can’t say that his cautionary note about “destruction” and “minds that hate” was unnecessary.) Few things are more Capricorn than ‘Oh, you want my money? Yeah, first show me that you’ve done your fucking homework, mate.’ Bonus Earth points for the fact that he somehow worked sex—a lot of sex—into this political track. 

Aquarius—“Come Together”

John of the Aquarius moon’s decidedly loony attempt to write a political campaign song in order to stop Reagan. (The result was too weird for Timothy Leary, whose reaction was pretty much ‘wtf? I don’t think even I have enough residual acid in my system for this one... ’) John invokes the ideal of collaboration, but his call to solidarity is built around fantastical lyrics that no one can comprehend: He wear no shoeshine, he got/Toejam football, he got/Monkey finger, he shoot/Coca-Cola, he say/I know you, you know me... Oh, right. The lyrics contain exactly one discernible message: One thing I can tell you is you got to be free. How Aqua. Also in true collaborative Water-Bearer fashion, the arrangement really makes the song (special mention to the tight, tight work of the rhythm section). Bizarre genius that attracts a true team effort—it doesn’t get much more Aquarius than that.

Pisces— “I Want to Tell You”

The wall of sound builds up thickly enough that soon the words seem to be traveling through the sea to reach you: I want to tell you my head is filled with things to say... But when you’re here, all those words, they seem to slip away. A gorgeously, emotionally tongue-tied song... about being tongue-tied. Written by George, a Pisces Sun, this absolute mystery of a lyric is all emotion and no logic. If he seems to act unkind, it’s only him, it’s not his mind. Okay, Fishboy. Good thing the track is compellingly lovely and utterly relatable. Which suits the Pisces life exactly: ‘I don’t know what I mean, but it’s exceedingly beautiful and I want you to share it with you very, very much.’ 

[fandumbstuff]

The Star Wars Saga, ranked best to worst.

1. The Empire Strikes Back Directed by Irvin Kershner

Upon close consideration, I’ve come to the shocking conclusion that Empire is the best Star Wars film. There’s a wealth of world-building and character development here that in many ways makes Star Wars the living breathing universe it is now. A richly complex melodrama lies at the heart of Empire, giving a whole new meaning to the term “space opera”. The performances here are some of the strongest in the entire franchise. Mark Hamill not only fleshes out Luke’s character, but in his training with Yoda and his duel with Vader he establishes the profound nature of the force, and how every future character interacts with it. As Han and Leia, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher create authenticity to their characters’ relationship. Often misinterpreted as playfully hostile or sassy, there’s a real and endearing sense of affection between them, particularly in the infamous “I love you”/”I know” line- shedding their previously petty flirtation and affirming their true feelings. The emotional crux of Empire lies not in the most memorable twist, but in the moments immediately following it - In Luke and Leia reaching out to each other, reconnecting a relationship that was lost, rekindling hope in the force after we thought it was lost.

2. A New Hope  Directed by George Lucas

I’ll be the first in line to make fun of dorky George Lucas and his woeful attempts at writing dialogue or romance. However, it’s pretty damn impossible to ignore what he achieved with Star Wars in 1977. The sheer audacity of his vision and his determination in executing it despite the naysaying from producers and supposed friends. Lucas had the bold idea of using cinema for it’s absolute worth- more than just a storytelling medium but a theatrical one. A cacaphony of sight and sound that could draw mass audiences and create a lasting impression. It’s a formula that every Hollywood and Bollywood blockbuster strives and more often than not fails to follow. It’s hard to dissociate A New Hope from the cultural phenomenon it helped create, but when you do, it stands as an impressive film on it’s own. Groundbreaking in terms of it’s visual effects and nostalgic in the simplicity of it’s sci-fi serial story, Star Wars ticked all the right boxes for so many people. If I was to boil Star Wars down to an essence, i think it lies in 2 scenes: Luke looking out at the binary sunset on Tattooine, and Han Solo yahooing after the Falcon saves Luke in the Death Star trenches. Those two scenes, Wistfulness and Exuberance, are the two sides of one concept- Adventure. Star Wars ignited those emotions in every child’s imagination, and it’s a flame that’s likely to never go out. 

3. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Directed by Gareth Evans

Hard to believe this is a Disney movie. While the house of mouse may have a reputation for emotional gut punches in kids movies, it’s never felt quite so... permanent. Rogue One is an unrelenting emotional journey barelling towards surefire tragedy. We spend moments with characters that seem to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. The sense of desperation that permeates the movie almost overpowers any sense of heroism. It’s so unlike anything we’ve seen in a Star Wars movie. Their courage comes from a place that is wholly genuine and believable. We see the rebellion for the despondent group that they are. Sorely outnumbered by the Empire, their actions in this movie show a reckless, darker side to them and makes the morality of Star Wars so much more complex. The first time we meet Cassian Andor- the stand out performace of the film by Diego Luna- we see him kill another rebel to protect their secrets. It’s a movie that reframes the original Star Wars trilogy, making it a richer, complex universe and more intriguing as a result. Also, the last five minutes might be the best five minutes in any Star Wars movie.

4. Return of the Jedi Directed by Richard Marquand

The one sore spot in the original trilogy for me are the Ewoks. I realise it's ridiculous for me to complain about kid-friendly creatures in a kid's movie, but Star Wars has done this a lot more tolerably in the form of Porgs and Baby Yoda. Just something about these furry, Tibetan speaking monsters who somehow have the wherewithal to defeat an elite and well equipped empire rubs me the long way. Anyway, other than that, the movie's pretty fantastic. The culmination of Luke's journey comes to a head in an extremely emotional and effective climax. John Williams score crescendos to operatic heights and Mark Hamill's stellar performance sells Luke’s torment. It’s also worth noting that in those final moments of moral dilemma, Darth Vader is silent- it’s David Prowse’s performance entirely that sells this. His incredible presence throughout the trilogy builds to this moment and you can feel the weight of it in those closeups on Vader. Every other cast member rounds the story out perfectly- from Lando and Han’s playful rapport to Leia’s more militaristic side in planning the rebellions final moves. I still bemoan the fact that they changed the final song- an opinion that I’m apparently a minority on- but it’s a pretty incredible ending altogether and wonderfully cathartic to watch over and over again.

5. The Last Jedi Directed by Rian Johnson

With Last Jedi, Rian Johnson analyzed the universe Star Wars inhabits, and what drives it’s characters. The characters that we love are pushed to their limits, struggle against insurmountable odds and their own innate flaws. And we see all of them fail in turn. It is remarkably bleak, but not without purpose. It is out of this failure that the Resistance needs to recoup and come back stronger. The performances here, are arguably the best you’ll find in the entire franchise. Daisy Ridley has to break down Rey’s naivete and find a deeper sense of self actualization. Adam Driver hands in some of his best work, by swerving the audience into believing Kylo Ren and then creating a desperate plea in THAT throne room scene, and eventually turning him into a snivelling villain, all in the same movie. Mark Hamill’s performance here is heartbreaking- revealing the bleakest version of Luke, and struggling to find his redemption. Last Jedi is a bold deconstuction of these characters, of what they stand for, and what makes Star Wars beautiful.

6. The Force Awakens Directed by J. J. Abrams

In many ways, a safe movie to announce the return of Star Wars. But it’s hard to fault this. Disney’s decision making was shrewd here, bringing on J. J. Abrams to pay homage to George Lucas’ original vision, returning the franchise to it’s roots of practical effects and shooting on film. There was something truly special about experiencing this film in theatres, so much so that I did it eleven times. It captured a sense of wonder for fans new and old- hearing the scream of Tie Fighters, John Williams herald the return of the Millenium Falcon, and the look of awe on Rey’s face as she clutches her destiny in her hand. I’ll be honest, the film loses some of this magic without the shared experience of an audience, and it’s flaws are more noticeable. But being swept up in the excitement of adventure felt so darn good in 2015, and that’s so key to this franchise.

7. Revenge of the Sith Directed by George Lucas

This movie has risen so much in my opinion, entirely due to the animated Clone Wars series. Revenge of the Sith depicts the overwhelming tragedy that frames the original Star Wars. Watching Clone Wars explains explicitly what makes this film so tragic. But it’s more than that- it’s a catastrophic failure on behalf of the Jedi Order. Ignorance and pride allow evil to fester and grow. George Lucas took the simplicity of the moral struggle he established in 1977 and tried to give it depth and complexity with the prequels, and it pays off in Revenge of the Sith. It leads into the original trilogy quite brilliantly, with a promise of hope and resilience.

8. The Phantom Menace Directed by George Lucas

It has not aged well. While the advent of CGI I’m sure felt exciting at the time, and you almost can’t fault George Lucas for his insistence on staying at the forefront of VFX innovation as he has always done, it’s his reliance on so much of it that fails horribly. Like a kid in a candy store, Lucas stuffs the pockets of this film with so many bizarre effects for absolutely no reason. That sea monster scene is one of the worst displays I’ve ever seen and it’s absurd that it sits in a Star Wars film. Add to that the boring political plotline and ridiculous midichlorian dilemma and there’s very little redemptive about this film. However, it does have podracing, and Duel of the Fates, and it’s remarkable how much that salves the wound.

9. The Rise of Skywalker Directed by J. J. Abrams

Alright, well obviously this film has been problematic. However, I’m not about to bemoan the idea that Disney has ruined Star Wars and I have nothing left to live for. So let’s all just calm down. Ultimately J. J. Abrams was faced with the impossible task of wrapping up the Skywalker saga, with very few Skywalkers to work with. I firmly believe this would have been a very different film if Carrie Fisher was around to complete her performance. But left with nothing but the new cast, Abrams is caught between summing up the past while also looking to the future. It forces an awkward plotline with Palpatine- despite Ian McDiarmid's solid performance, the writing here seems wildly derivative of the franchise. There are some truly beautiful scenes, most notably the chemistry that Adam Driver gets to share with Harrison Ford, and Joonas Suotamo’s critically emotional outburst as Chewbacca. Some of the production design and score is so entirely different from the rest of the franchise it's inherently intriguing. But there’s very little here to save some of the poorer choices the film makes: the open plot hole with Finn, the derailing of Rey’s character development, and most crucially, the deeply perturbing culmination of Rey and Kylo’s relationship. The audience literally went “ew”.

10. Solo: A Star Wars Story Directed by Ron Howard

The biggest problem with Solo is that it operates under the presumption that people will be enamoured and invested in it. Not just in one movie, but in an entire series of movies. Solo clearly operates as a setup for further sequels. As a result, many plot lines remain unresolved, and Qi’ra winds up being a completely under-baked character. Her motivations make no sense, and a twist ending that I assume was supposed to be exciting is instead downright confusing. There’s a lot of unnecessary exposition into Han’s past too. As an origin story, I don’t need to know every aspect of Han’s past- especially not cute winks at inane things like “Why’s he called Solo?”. All this being said, The movie features some solid performances- Donald Glover is expectedly phenomenal as Lando, and Alden Ehrenreich excels as Solo, adding some welcome flavour to the character- particularly his friendship with Chewbacca, and a brilliantly executed final scene between him and Woody Harrelson’s Beckett.

11. Attack of the Clones Directed by George Lucas

How in the world this film made it all the way to production and into filming, with no one pulling Lucas aside and saying “Hey George, those kids have no chemistry” is beyond me. And I’m not going to blame Hayden Christensen or Natalie Portman on this one, because the whole damn love story makes no sense. Maybe falling for a dude who admits he murdered women and children isn’t such a great idea? Then there’s the increasingly convoluted political climate set up in Phantom Menace, and the machinations of the dark side that would take the entire Clone Wars series to fully explain. All this being said, Temuera Morrison, Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan MacGregor AND Christopher Lee are all in this movie. And they’re pretty damn fantastic.

12. The Clone Wars Directed by Dave Filoni

It’s inexplicable that Dave Filoni would go on to have a hand in some of the best Star Wars content ever made in Clone Wars, Rebels and the Mandalorian. And yet he got his start in the franchise by putting up this piece of junk. And junk is being a little generous. The humour is so juvenile it’s insulting to even the youngest of audiences it’s intended for. The plotline feels way to thin to warrant a feature film, and if this was in fact intended as a pilot for the TV series, they sure picked to most uninteresting story to pique our interest. Skip the movie, watch the show. 

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Five: The One with the Tour

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2476

    Scott Harvey was a manipulative man. He knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted and was never one to take no for an answer. He'd do whatever it took to ensure he had people wrapped around his finger so that he could snap his fingers and have what he desired in his hands at a moment’s notice. And Lily fell for that. She became the next in a long line of women who were eating out of the palm of his hand, all because he promised her the world. He promised her security, happiness, and peace. Instead, she got fear, chaos, and emotional trauma. The exact thing she was terrified of. He used her anxiety against her, used the fragility of her mind to keep her trapped in his web like a fly.

She was sort of thankful for Mary. she was a sweet woman, the two got along and were pretty amicable. Lily knew if she needed anything, Mary would help out, and vice versa. Because you can have a messy marriage, but keep a healthy relationship with the wrecking ball that destroyed the thin wall that still stood. Lily was grateful for Mary because she was able to open the blonde’s eyes to see what was going on. The web of lies that Scott had caught Lily in, like a spider, finding its next meal.

And every time she saw him, saw that sideways smile and forehead creases, all of the emotions he caused caught up to Lily in a ball, and took up camp in the middle of her throat, rendering her speechless for the majority of their brief conversations. Which is where we pick up, in the hallway of Scott and Mary's apartment building, Scott holding his daughter, Leila, in his arms. something Lily didn't believe she had ever seen her ex do with their son.

"Traffic was insane...sorry I'm a little late." Lily mumbled, her broken eyes darting everywhere, in an attempt to keep them from making contact with the deep-set hazel of Scott’s iris'.

"Don't apologize. I'll never complain about spending a bit longer with Hunter." Scott said, his voice still as soft as a marshmallow. Lily couldn't help but wince ever so gently as it floated into her ears, sending a rush of adrenaline and nerves to her heart, picking up its pace.

"Mom!" a young boy’s voice called before bursting past the older man, almost knocking down his mother, gripping onto her waist.

"Hey kiddo," Lily smiled, hand running through the blonde locks atop of her son’s head, smiling gently as he hid his face into her side. turning her attention back to Scott, she gave a weak smile, "Thanks for letting me pick him up early. my parents are coming down for dinner."

“No problem. Say hi to Abel and Alicia for me," Scott smiled, causing a shiver to run down Lily's spine. The idea of saying that Scott said hi made Lily sick to her stomach. Her parents despised the father of their grandson, for good reason. As far as the Osborne parents were concerned, Scott was a dead man, "See ya, buddy."

Saying a quick goodbye, Lily and Hunter found themselves back in the car as quickly as the conversation that just happened. Hunter was quiet at first, waiting for Lily to regain her composure for the second time that day. Her forehead rested on the leather of her steering wheel, deep breaths escaping her lips as her fingers wrapped around the wheel. A few moments later, Lily relaxed back into her seat, turning on the car.

"So Grandma and Grandpa are coming over?" Hunter asked, breaking the comfortable silence the mother and son had going on, "When did you find out?"

Lily tried her best to repress the smile the threatened to explode onto her face. She loved giving Hunter surprises. With everything the boy has been through, being able to see his face light up when he's faced with something unexpected was the only high she'd ever need. It was rare to see such extreme emotion out of Hunter, and let alone something as raw as the joy he gets with surprises. And this one that she had planned, it would go down in history. He would be talking about it for ages to come, for the rest of his life even. That's what Lily wanted, for him to create perfect childhood memories he'd be able to tell his kids in the future. To gather them up around the table at Christmas and pass stories around about how he and Grandma spent a day with Earth’s mightiest heroes and got to see where they worked. That was the goal of a parent, to make their child's days as memorable as they could.

"Oh the other day they mentioned it, but nothing was ever confirmed. I got a text this morning from Grandma about it," Lily hummed nonchalantly as she pulled out of the Brooklyn apartment complex, and turned onto the busy roads.

Connecting his phone to the Apple car play that came with the vehicle, Hunter spoke again, "That'll be nice. I know you miss seeing them sometimes. Long Island is so far away from Manhattan, why did you move away?"

Lily's smile grew wide, the dimple in her cheek creating a cavern of happiness at her son’s words. He was as intuitive as they come, and as observant as all get out. Truly, Lily believed herself to be one of the luckiest mothers in the world to be blessed with an angel-like Hunter. He was pure of heart and as sharp as a whip. He always picked up on Lily's microaggressions, and all of the small mannerisms she showed while in certain moods. She was never sure how he became as smart as he did, but doctors insisted it was because of her intelligence. That it carried on down to her son, and how he reflected her as a child. And Lily lived a loving and wonderful childhood, so hopefully, that too would relay to her son.

Reaching over to ruffle his hair, Lily let out a gentle sigh, "Well Hunter, I moved out here to the city with Auntie Gen when I graduated high school. I got into Columbia University, which was my dream school. So I came out here to study, while Aunt Gen was over in NYU, studying business. I moved out here for the opportunity, and I'm glad I did because you were the result."

Hunter let out a small noise as he acknowledged the story that his mother just shared while scanning Spotify for the best playlist. The two loved the eighties and nineties, so he settled on a premade group of songs from that era. The bass boomed throughout the car as the two began to belt out the lyrics to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. It was moments like these when Lily felt most content. Just her and Hunter, living their best lives together as they sang to oldies but goodies. Being able to see his eyes light up whenever they passed a cool-looking building or when they saw a cute dog or one that looked like Joey. Her favourite moment though, the cream of the crop is when he sings. Though not a professional, he always looked so at ease while letting his voice dance through the car.

About twenty minutes into the drive, he caught on though, "This isn't the way home. Where are we going?" his voice rang, turning down the volume of the Lionel Richie.

She had to think quickly. If he noticed the slightest of hesitation in Lily's speech, the surprise would be blown, and he wouldn't be surprised when they didn't stop at home. So, she did what she thought would throw him off the most, "We've gotta hit a grocery store on the way home. Aunt Gen needs something for the cafe and this is the only place that sells it near here. Is that okay kiddo?"

Nodding, he turned the music back up. This meant that he believed what she said. If he didn't, he'd press on further. Interrogating Lily until he got the truth out of her. He would make a hell of a lawyer in the future, due to the strange ability he had of getting into people’s minds. He was like Scott in that way, but different at the same time. He never used it to manipulate, or use people, but to find out the truth. Get the answers. learn. That was Hunter’s goal, not to make people the puppets in his little game. he was curious, that was all.

Shortly after the small conversation between the two introverts, Lily took the turn that would lead them straight to the compound. Her aged eyes glanced towards the world that sat in her passenger seat. He hadn't noticed yet, and Lily was thankful. It would be more exhilarating if he didn't realize until they went up to the door. Knocking on the door and having someone like Captain America answer? Now that was something that Lily would love to witness. To see her son's heart swell at the sight of one of his heroes answering the door. She could only imagine what he would say, and couldn't seem to fathom how he would react.

Pulling into the parking lot, Lily stopped the car and turned it off, capturing Hunters’ attention. He sat up in his seat and glanced out the window, a confused yet intrigued look masking his typical stoic facial expression. Stepping out of the car, Lily gestured with her left hand to follow her up towards the doors. Hesitantly, Hunter followed along, his shoes making gentle noises on the rocks and pebbles below his feet.

"Where are we?" he questioned, hand slipping into the fragile one of his mothers, "and why are your hands always so cold?"

Lily remained silent, simply walking up the stairs of the compound. Her neck craned to look down at the bewildered boy, who couldn't help but swivel his head around in an attempt to recognize his surroundings. But the only time he would have ever seen this place was maybe in pictures, so Lily was sure that she had gotten the surprise in the bag. That she was able to dupe the boy that could rarely ever be surprised. Now that would be an accomplishment.

Lily's free hand reached up and knocked on the grey doors in front of them, pursing and nibbling on her lips in an attempt to hide the mischievous and prideful grin that threatened to give away the present. She had been looking forward to this moment the entire car ride, hardly being able to contain the excitement that rushed through her veins at the idea of her son’s wildest dreams coming true. Well, his wildest dream would be to become an Avenger or any sort of superhero. But a mother could only do so much.

Voices rang out behind the door before it was swung open to reveal Sam Wilson. The man who had originally offered to take the eleven-year-old boy on a tour of the place, "Lily! you made it, was starting to get worried you two would bail on us," he teased, chocolate brown eyes readjusting to look down at the blonde boy beside Lily, "Hey Hunter, nice to see you again."

Her son’s hand had slipped out of her own, which caught Lily's attention. she looked down at him and felt her heart swell about a million times bigger than it already was. His smile reached ear to ear, cheeks growing to a rosy red and his pupils dilated to eleven. He seemed frozen, stuck to his one position on the porch step of the Avengers compound. Her frail hand tapped the boy on the back, urging him to respond and walk into the building.

"He's a tad awestruck it seems," Lily chuckled, taking his small hand into her own and walking past the threshold of the home, "It took me a bit to find this place."

"Privacy is key for us," a voice rang out from a bit away. Lily's eyes averted towards the sound and she spotted Captain America. The Captain America. Steve Rogers. Every girl’s dream man. He was even more gorgeous in person, and Lily couldn't help but feel choked up as she looked at him. The way his chest looked as though it was going to burst through the fabric of his shirt, or how she could see his sky blue eyes from eight meters away, "Glad you guys could make it. Picked a perfect day, everyone’s around."

"Why don't I take Hunter down through the compound so he can get the full tour," Sam grinned down at the beaming boy, "Will you be joining us, Ms. Osborne?"

Oh no. If she went, her mind wouldn't be able to handle it. The idea of walking around with her son in a place like this was already overwhelming. Feeling as though she should be able to do more to give him the luxury life he so badly deserved. Making him feel as though he was the king of the world. Not to mention, the entire place itself was a lot to take in. And with her anxiety already running high today, it would be better for Lily's mind and heart to wait out in the car or something. Plus, Hunter was with the Falcon, she had no worries.

"It's okay, you two go have fun, I'll wait in the car," Lily said, a tight smile pulling at the sides of her lips as she ran a thumb across her son’s chin, nodding for him to follow the superhero. And as if he was in a trance, Hunter followed Sam like a zombie, or may a dog following a treat. Either would work in this scenario.

"Oh no don't go wait in your car, come sit with us. I'm sure Bucky wouldn't mind seeing you again after your run-in yesterday," Steve smiled, making Lily's knees feel like they had miraculously turned into jello, "He's making blueberry pancakes for a part of the team."

Lily's mouth ran dry. Blueberry pancakes. Just like the ones she had gotten the day prior. The ones he had asked her about. Her cheeks grew hot as a magenta colour blush forced itself onto them, giving away the embarrassment and intrigue she had. It couldn't have been anything. He was just making blueberry pancakes. That's normal. It was an average thing for people to do. Especially when you've got nothing else to do. right?

"He knew you may have been coming, that's why he made them." Steve whispered as he offered his arm for Lily, beginning to lead her towards the kitchen.

So he did make them on purpose.

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 3 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 6.4k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: multiple smut scenes, science talk, banter, jealousy, alcohol & LOTS of colorful 80s slang lmao

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before & Stranger Things 3. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness and @httpjeon for editing this chapter!

OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

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PART THREE

"You're a psychopath." You accused.

Jungkook let out a scoff, eyes rolling in dismissal.

"You're being dramatic."

"Stop the car."

"Y/N." Jungkook scolded, reaching over to turn down the radio's volume.

"I'm serious, asshole. Let me out!" You huffed before lowering your eyes into small slits. "You're probably driving me off to a remote location just so you can kill me. Bet you're just like that sicko Ted Bundy that they got locked up in Florida right now."

Jungkook's head snapped over to look at you, disbelief in his wide eyes.

"Holy shit, all I did was change the radio station!"

You flashed him an exasperated look.

"You changed it while Wham! was playing. What is wrong with you?"

Jungkook had shown up at the door of your dorm right on time, grinning lopsidedly in his yellow windbreaker as you opened the door, his blatant eagerness effectively souring your mood.

You were entirely against this date at first; it hardly seemed necessary to get to know someone who you already knew you had nothing in common with. Not to mention the fact that you seemed to be the only one who cared that this relationship between you two was literally fake.

If it weren't for Yara physically shoving you out the door, you would have never gotten into Jungkook's ridiculously nice Chevy as he hauled off you to wherever he had decided your date was. He refused to answer when you asked him where the two of you were headed so, needless to say, you were already on high alert.

Him changing the station as soon as Everything She Wants playing was the final straw.

"Nothing is wrong with me, dweeb. I just don't really like their sound. I don't really like a lot of artists on the radio nowadays." Jungkook confessed, shoulders shrugging as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Oh God. I'm fake dating a monster." You breathed dramatically.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, no longer in the mood to entertain this conversation as he turned the knob on the radio back up.

It proved to be in vain, however, as your stubborn self refused to let the conversation drop there, your own hand reached over to reverse what he had just accomplished– the song currently playing fading back into the dull background.

"Madonna." You pressed.

"What about her?" Jungkook droned unenthusiastically.

You furrowed your eyebrows, annoyed. "What do you think about her?"

"Oh. Industry sellout."

"What?!" You nearly shrieked, jaw dropped as you stared at Jungkook's cool expression. You let out a disappointed noise.

"Cyndi Lauper?"

"Mediocre at best."

"Duran Duran?!" You exclaimed. "Wait, no. Don't answer that, I don't think my heart could take it if you didn't like them."

Jungkook chuckled, glancing over at your distraught expression, "Duran Duran is okay."

"Just okay?" You marveled, crossing your arms over your chest.

You were wearing a patterned collar shirt today and when Jungkook first laid his eyes on it, he couldn't help but think it looked exactly like the carpet belonging to the arcade he and friends used to go to in high school. On your left wrist was a bright yellow scrunchie that he swore he saw Yara wear once.

He wondered for a moment what it might look like in your hair.

"You know what the problem is with music today? It's all synthesized, I mean you can hardly call it music." Jungkook continued, pushing his previous thought away. "What's that song by The Buggles?"

"Uh... Video Killed the Radio Star?" You offered.

"Yes! God, that song just barfs me out." He shuttered, a prominent frown on his face.

"Fine, then. What do you consider real music then?"

"Hm, let's see. Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Def Leppard–"

"Oh, I see. The meathead is also a metalhead." You mused, the sides of your mouth twitching up slightly.

"Can you headbang to Prince? I don't think so." The meathead in question offered cheekily, wagging a finger at you.

You had just opened your mouth to quip back when your surroundings suddenly dawned on you; Jungkook had pulled into the parking lot of what you recognized to be a roller rink.

"We're going roller skating?" You asked as the boy shifted into park, causing him to look up at you.

"You don't sound excited." He pointed out.

You didn't bother to confirm or deny his accusation.

"Weren't roller rinks considered cool in the 70s... when we were kids?" Was your response.

Jungkook had unbuckled himself from his seat, reaching over into the back of his car to grab his backpack, carefully lugging the brown bag over his shoulder.

"They're still cool. Man, quit being such a downer you're ruining our date." He warned.

"Hey! What did we say, this isn't a date. It's a bonding activity." You piped up, opening the passenger door. "Besides, I'm not being a downer, I just…"

Your sentence trailed off as the two of you hopped out of the car, excited chatter from a family parked nearby filling your ears.

"You just what?" Jungkook pressed as the two of you made your way over.

"Nevermind."

There was a cold rush of air that hit you as Jungkook pulled open the door to the building, causing you to cross your arms over your chest, following him into the dimly lit space.

You could make out the sound of Take on Me by a-ha playing overhead from where you could see the actual rink located in the back. From the looks of it, the arena appeared to be somewhat empty today.

Radical. Fewer people to embarrass yourself in front of.

"Where do we go now?"

"To get our skates, duh." Jungkook stated, flashing you a look. "Haven't you ever been to a roller rink?"

You didn't get the chance to respond to the condescending boy because before you knew it, your hand was intertwined with his and you were being lugged over to where a bored-looking man was waiting behind a desk, a wall of worn-out beige skates behind him.

You stood beside Jungkook awkwardly as he spoke to the employee, speaking up only to protest when Jungkook tried to pay for you and to tell the roller rink man what size skates you needed.

Sat on a nearby bench, the two of you began to change shoes; Jungkook was rambling on and on about how excited he was to skate and how he was gonna lap you ten times over.

Slipping your first foot into the wheeled shoe, you let out a sigh.

"I have to, uh, tell you something..." You began, capturing Jungkook's attention.

"Sure, what's up?"

Pressing your lips together, you laced up the skate, the neon green shoelace glowing under the room's fluorescent lighting.

"So… I never actually... learned how to roller skate." You confessed through a shrug, ignoring the way Jungkook looked at you in surprise.

"Man, you really were robbed of a childhood. And here I thought you were some kind of superhuman who could do anything."

"Firstly, don't question my superiority over you common folk. I am superhuman." You scolded, pushing a finger into his chest playfully.

Jungkook let out a laugh, rolling his eyes at your words.

"Secondly, I mean, we were a family of six. If I got rollerskates, then everyone had to get roller skates. We just didn't have that kind of money." You explained.

"Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then." He noted.

"Yep. Three."

"Tell me about them."

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook's eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

"Well… Sammy is the oldest. He moved out when I was, like, thirteen so we were never that close but I see him every time I go back home."

You had finished fastening both skates, placing each wheeled foot on the colorful carpet. You took a moment to drag your legs front and back, enjoying the way the wheels rolled beneath you.

"Then there's the twins, Rosa and Lia."

"Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?" Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

"Yep. They were two grades above us." You confirmed.

"Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot." Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. "Uh, in a totally non-meathead way."

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

"No, it's okay. They are pretty, um, hot, I guess."

Suddenly, you made an effort to stand up, and Jungkook jumped to his feet to help you— you waved him off, of course. The carpet provided enough grip to allow you to walk somewhat easily.

"I still can't believe the Y/L/N Twins had a little sister. And that little sister was in my grade. How come no one ever talked about you?" Jungkook asked as the two of you reached the rink.

You gripped onto the short wall that lay along the rink's entire perimeter, clearly meant for people like you to hold onto so that they wouldn't bust their asses.

"Some kids in our grade asked me if we were related but I would always lie and tell them we weren't. Honestly, I had this weird complex towards them. I hated them for a little while."

Jungkook wasn't expecting such a confession to come from you, and it was clear that you weren't either with the way your face turned away from his, twisting up in regret.

"Really? Why's that?" He asked despite himself.

You felt yourself perk up as the familiar tune of a Duran Duran song came on, lifting your mood immediately.

"It's– ah, nevermind, it was really stupid. I don't feel that way anymore." You waved him off through a laugh, not wanting to unload onto him the heaviness of your childhood insecurities.

"I don't care if it's stupid, you can tell me. I want to know."

You stare at him for a moment, unsure of whether or not to tell him. There was a sense of sincerity in his eyes that wore you down, however. You let out a sigh.

"I dunno, I think it started early on. They were older and there were two of them, so I was kind of the third wheel."

"Ah. Yeah, isn't there some special bond only twins have?" Jungkook added.

"Yeah… Yeah, I understand it now that I'm older, but when I was younger, it just pissed me off." You chuckled bitterly, eyes flickering towards a couple skating around in the ring.

"It wasn't until I entered high school that I actually started to resent them, though. I kind of got stuck in this ugly duckling phase and my sisters… they're beautiful, right? Popular with boys, lots of friends…"

You trailed off, eyebrows furrowing as an unwanted feeling of reminiscence crept into you.

"I liked learning. And I was good at it. And it wasn't like I didn't have friends. I made friends with people who liked the same things I did. I wasn't alone." You continued, Jungkook's eyes glued to your profile.

"My friends used to beg for me to come over and study with them, you know." You looked over at the messy-haired boy, a shy grin on your face.

"It felt really good for people to acknowledge the hard work I put into school. It made me feel... cool, I guess."

"So when people asked about my sisters, I lied. Because I thought if I told them, then they would see everything that I wasn't. They would have something to compare me to and they would see that I actually wasn't that cool."

Your face fell into an unreadable expression, your knuckles turning white as your grip on the wall tightened.

The only person who ever knew you had felt this way about your sisters and yourself was Yara. But Jungkook wasn't Yara. He was just a boy in high school who occasionally bumped into you in the hallways, never paying any mind to where he was going.

Hesitantly, you turned towards him, only to find him already looking at you. Suddenly, a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

"I told you it was dumb." You laughed nervously.

It wasn't that you cared much what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn't be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

"No, I'm just… surprised, that's all."

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

Entering the rink, Jungkook skated in smoothly, looking as laid back and natural as always. You raised an eyebrow, doubting that your entrance would be that seamless.

"Feet shoulder-width apart. Keep your knees slightly bent."

Realizing these were instructions, you frowned, walking over to the rink's entrance.

And sure as day, your first step onto the shiny wooden floor was a less of a step and more of a slip, your hands reaching out to grip onto the wall before your balance was completely thrown off.

Jungkook took his bottom lip into his mouth, trying his hardest to swallow down the chuckle that threatened to escape. Instead of laughing at your instability, however, he skated towards you, an amused glint behind his eyes.

"Don't be scared, I'll catch you if you fall."

You offered him a glare, "Thanks, meathead, but I don't plan on falling."

Mustering up your strength, you pushed yourself off the wall, taking a bold step forward. You hadn't wobbled more than two steps when you once again lost your balance, arms flailing around wildly as you tried to prevent yourself from toppling over.

Your feet slipped from underneath you, however, sending you flying backward. Before you could hit the ground though, a pair of arms found you, hoisting you up by the waist as your legs lay sprawled in front of you.

"C'mon now, stand up." Jungkook urged, causing you to let out a shaky breath. You thought your ass was grass for sure that time.

"Can't. It's useless. Just let go, Jungkook. I'll crawl my way off the rink." You shook your head.

Your savior laughed, "New plan. Hold onto me. We'll do a lap around the rink together until you can skate on your own."

Embarrassed, you agreed, carefully making your way back up into a standing position with Jungkook's help.

It certainly wasn't smooth. There was something incredibly unnatural about rollerskating; Jungkook had told you to pretend like you were a duck which only confused you more because not only were you not a duck but you hardly understand the logic behind his thinking as ducks, most certainly, did not know how to roller skate.

With hands wrapped around Jungkook's bicep, however, you found yourself making your first lap. There was one other couple on the rink skating alongside the two of you; they were young— probably still in high school, and you wondered for a moment if to them Jungkook and you actually looked like a real couple.

"What's your major? I just realized I never asked." You brought up casually, the song overhead coming to an end. Lights were hanging that projected down onto the wooden floor, moving around in tempo with the upbeat music that was playing.

If you could actually skate, you imagined this must be loads of fun.

"Exercise science." He told you.

You nodded, "Makes sense."

It was evident that Jungkook took good care of himself, even if you weren't holding onto his bicep, you'd be able to tell.

"What's yours?" He countered. "Biology?"

"Yep. I really wanted to major in Neuroscience but my scholarship wouldn't cover it."

"Oh, you're on a scholarship?"

"Yeah, it's how I'm paying for college, actually. My dad made it pretty clear early on that he wasn't paying for our college tuition." You explained.

"Could you guys not afford it?"

"Mm, well yeah money was a big part of it but he also doesn't really see the value in a college degree. He got a job without one. That's why I worked so hard in school. I knew I had to do well if I had any chance of getting into college—"

Your sentence fell flat as a loud yelp fell from you, stunned as you realized you had just slipped and fallen onto your ass.

Jungkook was doubled over in laughter, your shocked expression far too funny to hold back his amusement this time.

"What the hell! You said you would catch me!" You gaped, the sides of your mouth quirking up at the sound of Jungkook laughing harder, desperate gasps of air breaking through his giggles.

"Quit laughing, pea brain. I'll seriously dump your ass right here and right now if you don't help me back up."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He snickered before moving over to help you up, his eyes watery and smile wide.

"This is so embarrassing…" You muttered under your breath, feeling unstable like a newborn deer.

Another chuckle found Jungkook, finding the way you were pouting sourly just too cute.

"If my ass bruises I'm going to be seriously pissed." You declared stubbornly, before intertwining your hand into Jungkook's.

Jungkook knew you were only doing so to ensure your balance but something about the gesture had his chest tightening in a way he didn't understand.

"So, uh, your siblings! They're all out of high school, right? What do they do?" Jungkook started suddenly, in an attempt to sway his thoughts.

You were humming along to whatever song was filling the room and Jungkook wished he was familiar with the tune so that he could hum along with you.

"Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown's newspaper but between you and me those assholes don't even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall."

"What about your brother?" Jungkook asked.

"He's training to be a cop just like my dad."

"And your mom?"

"She works at a convenience store."

And so the rest of the evening played out, the two of you sharing pleasantries and learning about one another, with only a few more falls on your part.

Jungkook told you his story, how he was an only child to a set of lawyer parents that let him do whatever he wanted as compensation for being so busy all the time. You bit your tongue but it made sense, considering his behavior in high school. Still, Jungkook turned out alright, you thought. Contract or not, you wouldn't willingly spend an evening falling on your ass with someone who wasn't at least a decent person.

You and Jungkook were sat at a table at the roller rink, a box of cheesy pizza set out in front of you.

"I don't understand. If you love film so much, then why aren't you majoring in it?"

"I don't know if I'm even any good at it. Just because I have a camera and like to use it doesn't make me a director." Jungkook shrugged in response.

"No, but if it makes you happy, then that's all that matters. If you love something and it inspires you then why wouldn't you do everything within your power to go after it?"

You had that look on you again. The kind of look that made Jungkook think that if he were to lean in close, he could see flames ablaze behind your eyes. It was the kind of look at sent his curiosity and admiration for you soaring.

"Isn't that lame? A guy majoring in the arts?" He asked, sounding uncertain.

You let out a grunt, growing frustrated with Jungkook's placid nature.

"What's lame is that anyone should have to be ashamed for doing what they love. Do you know how many times I get asked, 'Why biology? Why not education?' by my male professors? Fuck what anyone else thinks Jungkook! Do what makes you happy." You declared with a clenched fist, eyes glimmering with fervor.

You had gotten so worked up, Jungkook realized; he knew right then and there that you were speaking from the heart and that he was a lucky man to get to see you this way. Even if you had begun to shout and were scaring him slightly.

Turning away from you, the cool-headed boy ran his eyes over the room's walls, pausing only when he found a neon clock perched along one of them.

"What's wrong?" You wondered, following his eyes.

"October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM."

"Yes. That's today's date and time. What about it?" You pressed, growing confused.

"Remember it." He warned.

"Why?"

"It's when I fell in love with you."

Suddenly, you let out a laugh— it was the kind that comes out unexpectedly and makes a loud, unattractive noise and it surprised you both. Your hand clamped down over your mouth as if on impulse before your shocked expression broke, a cascade of giggles washed over you. Jungkook could only stare at you in bewildered awe, wondering if that wasn't the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Jungkook shifted back up on the bed, his back having grown sore. Pulling his notebook closer, he gripped his pen. Somewhere in the background, he could hear you muttering to yourself as you worked at your desk, knees pulled up to your chest where your chin could rest on top of them.

The two of you were doing homework in your dorm room, a common occurrence for the two of you nowadays.

Jungkook let himself spare you a glance from where he sat on your bed. You had thrown your hair up into a lazy bun earlier on, but now it would seem it that you had once again let your hair down.

You had the end of your pencil tucked between your lips, captivating Jungkook's attention for longer than he had intended.

Jungkook wasn't sure if it was safe to say that you were friends, mainly because of the contract that was holding the two of you together, but seeing as you two now spent nearly every afternoon together, he couldn't help but think he had whittled you down into tolerating him.

Not that you'd ever admit that, of course.

You let out an audible sigh, whatever task you were working on clearly giving you trouble as you tapped the end of your pencil against your bottom lip contemplatively.

"Break?" Jungkook called out lazily, tearing his eyes off from your lips.

Jungkook watched as you stared down at your textbook for a moment before ultimately swiveling your chair around to face him.

"Yeah, okay." You agreed, lugging yourself off your chair only to hop onto your bed, causing Jungkook to bounce slightly, the springs of your mattress protesting.

Face scrunching up, you brought your legs up onto the bed, extending them out in front of you to stretch out your stiff joints.

Jungkook couldn't help but grin slightly as your foot brushed against his knee. You were wearing your favorite pair of socks – they were a bright red and fluffy, a cartoon picture of Santa Claus knitted into each. Jungkook nearly lost a lung the first time he saw you wear them, but you were quick to defend them, saying that keeping your feet warm was always in season.

"I still can't believe you bought Christmas socks. It's not even Halloween." He began in an effort to make conversation. You rolled your eyes, smacking the side of your foot against his knee lightly.

"You act like I was actively searching to buy Christmas socks. I was on the hunt for fluffy socks and these just happened to be the fluffiest pair the store offered." You defended.

"I would gladly wear Halloween socks if I found fluffy ones." You added, bringing your offensive socks back over to you as you sat cross-legged.

"Speaking of Halloween," Jungkook began, eyeing you cautiously, "the party is in three days."

Cocking your head to the side, you contemplated today's date before concluding that the sweater-clad boy was correct.

"Oh shit."

"We need—"

"— costumes, yeah." You cut Jungkook off, nodding.

Jungkook blinked as he took in your words before shaking his head.

"No, I meant—"

"Yara suggested Bonnie and Clyde or Danny and Sandy from Grease but I don't really know how I feel about a couple's costume. Doesn't that seem too obvious like 'Hey, look at us! We're totally banging!' Do you know what I mean? Also, can we not just dress up as whatever we want to? Can couples really not do anything without each other? I remember whenever I showed up to a party without Erik, everyone would ask about him and why he didn't come. He didn't go because I didn't invite him, morons." You finished with an irritated huff.

"Woah, hold on... you went to parties?" Jungkook marveled, halting your ramble. "Also, who the hell is Erik?"

"My ex-boyfriend. And yes I went to parties. I was in a lot of school clubs and they threw parties sometimes." You shrugged.

"Oh. Nevermind, I thought you meant actual parties."

"Fuck you, asshole. Those were actual parties!" A surprised laugh tumbled out of you. "Anyway, we can go costume shopping tomorrow if you're free–"

"Y/N." Jungkook interrupted, a stern look on his face. You shut your once open mouth, flashing him a cautious look as you offered him your full attention.

"I'm going to kiss you."

Your body tensed in surprise, eyes going wide, "What?"

"At this party. I'm going to kiss you, remember?"

"Oh... Oh!" Your eyebrows raised as his words sunk in.

"Yeah." Jungkook nodded, reaching over to shut his notebook that was now going unused. He wasn't in the mood to study anymore.

"Okay, then. Lay it on me."

"Huh?"

"Kiss me now. Like a bandaid. C'mon, meathead, rip that sucker off." You ordered authoritatively, causing Jungkook to shake his head.

You certainly know how to set the mood.

"Fine." Jungkook mused dryly.

Your composure crumbled, however, as the handsome boy began to lean forward, eyes fixated on your lips.

"Wait!" You blurted, throwing your hands in front of you to halt Jungkook from coming any closer.

"What?" Jungkook pressed, looking slightly irritated.

"No... No, I'm just... I think I'm nervous." You blinked.

At your words, Jungkook's expression noticeably softened. You had this look on your face that he had never seen you wear before. You usually carried yourself with such self-assurance and confidence, but this version of you that was sitting in front of Jungkook... this you looked vulnerable.

"Why are you nervous?" He cooed.

"Because!" You huffed, not noticing the way Jungkook's eyes were set on yours gently. "I dunno, it's just... it's you I'm kissing."

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

A silent moment ticked past as you failed to respond immediately.

"...No."

"You hesitated." He glared, tone falling flatly.

"Well, I don't know! Who knows where that mouth has been?!" You accused, pointing a finger towards him. He smacked away your finger easily, a frown finding his face.

"Y/N."

"Sorry, sorry! I get mean when I feel threatened, it's like my defense mechanism." You apologized.

Jungkook chuckled, enjoying the inner turmoil you were clearly going through.

"Close your eyes."

You frowned at his words, knowing what doing so would entail.

"You're overthinking this. It's just a kiss. I don't bite, I promise." He teased cheesily.

You held his eyes for a moment. If there was anything you could give Jungkook credit for was the way he made even the most astronomically complex subject seem so simple, as if you were silly for even fretting over it in the first place.

Taking comfort in that thought, you let your eyes fall shut, hands finding purchase around the duvet you sat on.

You felt the mattress shift, your weight shifting forward as Jungkook moved closer, causing your heart to pound.

And then, he kissed you.

The kiss couldn't have lasted longer than a second, and you hardly had time to register the feeling before the sound of the mattress groaning as Jungkook shifting back into his original spot rang out.

You opened your eyes.

"Oh." You breathed.

"See? Was that as bad as you thought it would be?" Jungkook mused.

"You were right. I don't know why I had hyped this moment so much in my head." You shook your head, laughing lightly despite the way your heart had yet to calm down.

"Told ya."

You nodded, "I mean if anything that was super underwhelming."

"Yeah, like— Hey, hold on. I know it was just a peck but you don't have to phrase it like that, damn." Jungkook's eyebrows furrowed.

"No, it's a good thing!" You tried to reassure him, uncrossing your legs. "I think one of the reasons I was so nervous was because I was afraid the kiss was gonna be good but, nope! Totally ordinary!"

Jungkook let out a low hum. He knew what you meant but there was still something within him that couldn't help but feel bitter. He knew you would accredit it to what you liked to call his 'raging man pride' – whatever it was, it had him pouting without him even knowing.

"That offended you." You observed easily.

"No, it didn't." He brushed off.

"Yes it did, I can see it on your face. I've thrown your fragile man ego off balance and now you're insecure over your kissing abilities." You offered him a sympathetic look.

"Woah, woah, woah. You didn't do any of the sorts because my man ego isn't that easily toppled over, okay? I've got a rock-solid foundation, thank you very much." He scoffed defensively causing you to snort.

"And for your information, I can't be offended because it wasn't like I actually kissed you so suck on that."

You frowned on his words, "What do you mean you didn't actually kiss me?"

"Y/N, please. If I had kissed you like how I usually do it would've knocked you dead." He insisted, nose sticking up in a way that reminded you of Yara.

"What the hell? Why didn't you kiss me you usually do?" You replied sharply, catching Jungkook off guard.

"Uh..."

"Isn't that the whole point of this?" You continued, hand reaching over to flick at the tip of Jungkook's nose.

You held your glare as he flinched in surprise. A scowl took over him.

"What the hell was that for?! I didn't think–"

"I don't want to embarrass myself on Saturday. I need to make sure I know what I'm doing so don't half-ass things! Kiss me like you would your real girlfriend, dumbass!" You scolded, hand reaching over to place another attack against the boy's nose.

Before you got the chance, however, Jungkook's hand came up and wrapped itself around your wrist, stopping you. You attempted to pull back your trapped hand but Jungkook's grip was unforgiving, his dark stare locked onto you.

"What are you doing? Let go." You huffed.

"God, how am I meant to kiss you if you won't shut up."

You hardly had time to register his words when the hand around your wrist was used to yank you forward, Jungkook's mouth finding yours once again.

You were absolutely caught off guard, eyes held open in shock until the moment his other hand found your face, palm cupping your jaw as his fingers pressed into the bone softly, urging your head to tilt to meet his kiss better.

The hand that Jungkook still kept captive curled itself into a fist as you struggled to reciprocate his pace, taken off guard by his sudden vigor.

His lips were softer than you expected and you prayed that the hand that held your cheek wouldn't be able to feel the way your face was burning. The second he finally let go of your hands, you were quick to find purchase on the back of his shirt, gripping the fabric in hopes to give yourself something to hold onto as you lost yourself to the way your shared breaths filled the room every time your lips separated only to meet again immediately.

It wasn't until Jungkook's tongue ran against your bottom lip that reason finally took ahold of you. Pressing back against Jungkook's chest, you broke the passionate exchange, your wide eyes meeting his hazy ones.

"Something wrong?" He breathed heavily, his tongue darting out briefly to wet his bottom lip. The sight causes something in you to stir, so you turn your head to the side, choosing to stare at the wall across the room instead.

"N-Nothing. Just… I need to catch my breath is all." You lied.

It was more than that. This was precisely what you were afraid of. The kiss was good and it was making it very, very hard to want to continue keeping Jungkook at a respectable distance. You really didn't hate the kid and maybe if the circumstances were different the two of you would've gone on to be actual friends but you knew exactly how this was going to end. Jungkook and Kiri would get back together, you'd get your event and as much as you'd like to think Jungkook and you could continue on hanging out like this, you knew that was impossible. There was no way you could face Kiri after all this – not when you were the girl who was meant to be dating Jungkook all this time. You had helped him deceive her; watching and supporting Jungkook through a relationship built on lies was not exactly on your to-do list.

"Can I give you a hickey?"

Jungkook's words pulled you from your thoughts.

"Huh?" You replied, intelligently. That had been the absolute last thing you had been expecting to leave Jungkook's mouth.

"I know it's sometimes seen as a possessive thing so I, like, get why you wouldn't want one but it would definitely get the message across to everyone. If you're down, of course."

You could feel the urge to say no rise up your throat. Jungkook was right, hickeys seemed like a display of ownership – just a primitive way to claim someone as yours as if the emotional commitment wasn't enough. But there was something in the back of your head that was reasoning that he had a point. Furthermore, you could almost imagine the way Yara would be insisting you follow through with it if she were here right now and not in class.

God, she was going to lose her mind when you told her what had just gone down between you and Jungkook in your dorm room.

"Sure."

"Really?"

Jungkook's eyes were doe-like and you found it hard to face them.

"Y-Yeah, whatever, I don't care." You shrugged, hoping to give off an air of nonchalance.

"Wicked." He grinned boyishly, a hand coming down to push against your torso.

Your back met the bed and you didn't even have time to voice your confusion before Jungkook climbed over you, silencing your thoughts.

"Just easier this way." He told you, as if able to read your mind.

You feel yourself tense up as his lips meet your neck, pressing a cautionary kiss there.

"You don't have to be so stiff, I'll try to make it feel good." Jungkook leaned over to coo into your ear, causing a shiver to run over you.

You nodded, relaxing yourself the best you could as you tilted your head over to expose more of your neck to the awaiting boy.

You bit down on your lip, fighting down the sigh that threatened to spill from your mouth as Jungkook began to pepper kisses onto your neck, the feeling surprisingly pleasant. Your chest was rising and falling rhythmically, trying hold in your heart that threatened to leap out of it.

The feeling of Jungkook's tongue on your skin caused a small squeak to leave you, Jungkook taking the sensitive skin into his mouth to sucking at it. Before you could even think to stop yourself, one of your hands intertwined itself into his hair, tugging at it lightly as you felt his teeth scrape against your skin. To your disbelief, Jungkook let out a low grunt, sucking at your skin harder as if in retaliation. The noise echoed against your skin and, embarrassingly, you felt your nipples harden against the cup of your bra, a clear indication that you were getting aroused.

Shit. You were totally getting turned on; you could hardly thread together a single coherent thought and your whole body felt hot.

You tugged at Jungkook's scalp again without thinking and another noise of content left the curly-haired boy's mouth; you nearly threw out a sound of your own as he licked a hot stripe against the afflicted skin.

Before things could escalate any further, however, Jungkook pulled away from your neck, moving back to sit on his heels, his chest rising and falling unevenly.

"There. That should do it." He breathed out.

You sent him a small nod, eyes unable to pull away from the mouth that was just on you.

To say Jungkook's man ego was now pleased as hell would be an understatement. Your face was twisted in embarrassment, eyes watery and unable to meet Jungkook's the longer he stared. The left side of your neck had patches of pretty pink bruises etched into it and he couldn't deny the sick way his chest swelled with pride at knowing you would be wearing the marks he put on you.

"What?" You mumbled shyly, unable to stay still under his stare for much longer.

Jungkook was silent for a moment, lost in the dangerous thoughts his mind was filled with as he looked at the way you were laid out in front of him.

Finally, he shook his head as if to clear his mind.

"Nothing. Just admiring my work." He grinned sweetly before leaning over to press a chaste kiss onto your forehead, leaving you a hundred degrees warmer than you originally were.

[dameronsgalaxygal]

I’ve Been Waiting For You - Chapter 5: Honey, Honey

series masterlist

Pairing: modern!poe x reader

Warnings: mentions of past abusive relationship, mentions of cancer. FLUFF. 

Word Count: 3386

Song Link: Honey, Honey

A/N: I may lag a bit in posting this week, I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow and will most likely be spending the week recovering! I’ll try my best to work on the next chapter though in hopes that it'll distract me from the pain. Don’t forget to listen to the song, per usual! Feedback and comments greatly appreciated, and tag list is open!

Summary: You and Poe go to the beach and Poe talks to you about how he feels. 

I’ll pick you up at 11.

That’s so early for just a walk on the beach...

Maybe I have more planned.

You bit your lip to bite back a smile. You thought you would be meeting Poe later in the evening for dinner on the shore and then a walk down the beach, and although you wouldn’t admit it, you were hoping he had planned more. Knowing he had a whole day planned made your stomach flutter.

Is that so?

Maybe

Okay, Dameron. I’ll see you at 11.

You put your phone back in your pocket as you continued to work, organizing books. A group of middle schoolers had come by and basically made a mess of the entire store, leaving books all over the place and putting them on the incorrect shelves. It was your turn to reorganize since Tallie was at the register.

“What are you smiling at?” Leia peeked around the aisle to find you smiling as you dusted off another book, placing it on its appropriate shelf.

You just shook your head, a smile still lingering on your face. “Just thinking”

“About Poe?” She smiled, handing you another book to put away.

Leia could see right through you. She knew how much you liked being around Poe. She would notice your entire face light up every time Poe would visit the store, and she also noticed how much Poe could be himself around you, which was actually quite different from him. He always put on a mask around other girls, but not you. She wouldn’t tell you that, though.

You laughed softly. “Yeah. We have a date tomorrow.”

Leia grinned, “See? I told you that you know what you want.”

With that she walked away, leaving you to continue working with the same smile plastered on your face.

--

The day of your date, you woke up around 9am to shower and get ready. It was pretty warm outside and hardly a cloud in the sky. You wore a similar outfit to the one you wore to the club a couple weeks ago along with your swimsuit underneath. You weren’t sure if you would go in the water, but you wore it just in case.

Poe texted you around 10:30 as you were still getting ready.

Mornin sunshine. Going to starbucks then i'll head to your place. Whatcha want?

Your date hadn’t even started yet and you were already blushing. The fact that Poe had called you sunshine and was going to pick you up breakfast continued to prove the gentleman he really was. You had no doubt he was so kind, it just took you a few weeks and Leia to knock some sense into you that he was nothing like Kyle.

You don’t have to get me anything!

I know I don’t. But i'm gonna anyway. Quick, i'm next in line.

You chuckled to yourself before responding.

I’ll have a java chip frappe with peppermint :)

Got it. Pick you up soon.

You swore your smile hadn’t left your face since work yesterday.

You finished gathering up your things while you waited for Poe to pick you up. You threw a towel, some sunscreen, a change of clothes, a water bottle and some chapstick in your bag. You looked in your desk drawers for your sunglasses when you came across that matte blue notebook.

Hesitantly, you picked it up. You knew you shouldn’t open it right before going on your date. Your memories of Kyle had already messed up one interaction with Poe, you didn’t want them to mess up another.

The notebook had hundreds of pages full of your emotions towards Kyle. Emotions, feelings and thoughts you had never told anyone before. Thoughts that were holding you back. That kept you holding on to New York.

You heard a honk which let you know that Poe was outside. You grabbed your beach bag and the blue notebook, calling out to Rey and Rose to tell them you were leaving.

As you left, you tossed your notebook into the trash bin that sat right by your front door. You let out a sigh of relief as you got into Poe's car. Good riddance.

“Well hello there.” He chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee before handing your frappuccino. He had beautiful eyes, but boy did he look good wearing sunglasses.

“Hi” You laughed, taking it from him. “Thank you. How much do I owe you?”

“Seriously?” You glanced at him in confusion. “We’re on a date. You don’t owe me anything.” He set his cup in the cupholder and pulled out of the apartment complex.

The fact that you felt nervous was silly. You had been spending a lot of time with Poe since you arrived in Florida. He allowed you to be yourself and he was starting to feel like a best friend. Sure, you would go to lunch or hang out, but it was never labeled as a date like today. Poe was giving you butterflies.

The drive to the beach was comfortable. Poe had put the windows down and turned the radio on, turning it up just enough so that you two could sing karaoke with the music. Your hair flew in front of your face as you looked out the window and you pushed it out of the way, even though it continued the entire ride. Poe frequently glanced over at you as he drove, the corner of his lips turning up to a soft smile.

Thirty minutes later and Poe was pulling into a parking garage right across from Fort Lauderdale beach. “Why didn’t we just go to miami beach?” You asked as you sipped the last of your frappuccino.

He shrugged as he turned off the ignition, smiling at you. “I wanted to try something different.”

You both got out of the car, Poe going to open the trunk to grab what looked like a picnic basket along with a beach umbrella. He handed you another bag that had a blanket, towels, and a change of clothes.

“Making me carry your things, are we?” You teased as he closed the trunk, locking the car.

He smirked and headed out of the parking garage without saying a word. This was going to be a long day, and boy were you excited.

You had eventually found a nice spot on the beach far enough away from the crowds of people, but still close enough so it wasn’t like you had the beach to yourself. You wouldn’t mind if you did, though.

You set down the bags and put up the umbrella while Poe laid out the red and white checkered blanket. You took off your shoes, placing them in your beach bag so they wouldn’t get sand in them.

You sat down beside Poe, his tanned skin gleaming perfectly from the sun directly above the two of you.

“So. What do we have planned today?” You watched him place the picnic basket in his lap and he opened it to reveal a display of foods and drinks.

He began to take out small sandwiches, bags of chips, cups of fruit and cookies. You bit your lip to hold back a smile, the thought that he had put this together by himself made your cheeks heat up.

“Well, I figured we would eat first. Then we could go into the water or tan a bit. Walk the shore. If you aren’t too tired maybe we could watch the sunset.” He handed you a can of soda that you cracked open right away.

You took a sip of your soda before placing it in your lap. “I’m cool with staying to watch the sunset.”

He grinned widely. “Cool.”

You smiled back as he handed you a sandwich.

“Did you make these?” You unwrapped the foil it was covered with before taking a bite.

“Sure did.” He paused as though he felt guilty.  “Well, Finn helped me. By helped me I mean that he made them and I wrapped them with foil.”

You covered your mouth as you let out a laugh, trying not to spit out your food.

“Look,” He chuckled, swallowing his bite of the sandwich, “I don’t know how to make sandwiches look...presentable. I wanted them to look nice. Finn has a gift-.”

“In sandwich making?” You took another bite of your sandwich, a smile plastered on your lips.

He rolled his eyes and continued to eat. You admired how Poe was trying so hard. You could care less about how a sandwich looked, especially when you were just having a picnic. But Poe was different. He was going to do everything he could to capture your heart. He was doing a damn good job.

You two talked for what seemed like hours, typical between the two of you. You had only known Poe for about a month and a half, but you felt as though you had known him forever. Even after that incident at the bar and the encounter at the bookstore the next day, you still felt relaxed and comfortable with him. Things weren’t awkward between you two.

About an hour and a half into your conversations, you noticed Poe’s arms starting to redden.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” You asked him concerned. You glared at his bicep, which was only half covered by his t-shirt. You really didn’t know if you were staring at it because it was sunburnt or because it was massive.

He looked at his arms before he swore under his breath, grabbing the sunscreen bottle from his bag.

You let out a small laugh. “That’s gonna leave a wonderful tanline.”

He smirked at you before he pulled off his shirt, tossing it into his bag. You licked your lips unconsciously as you took in the view before you. His chest was toned perfectly and the sun reflected off of it, he looked like a movie star. A silver chain hung from his neck, a ring attached to the end of it.

He ran his hands along his chest and arms to cover himself in sunscreen and you noticed a small tattoo located right above his heart.

“S.B.D?” You asked.

He looked down at the initials carved into his skin before looking back at you. “My mom's initials,” he said, “Shara Bey Dameron”.

Poe had told you about his mom when you went to lunch after you had gotten the job at Solo Reads. You had asked him about his childhood, which brought up the conversation about his parents. His dad had moved away from South Miami after Shara passed. He felt stuck and heartbroken, in need of an escape before it consumed him, a situation similar to yours. Poe decided to stay in Miami to go to flight school and eventually become a commercial airline pilot.

Shara passed away when Poe was eighteen due to breast cancer. From what he had told you, he had been extremely close to her. They nearly seemed inseparable. You weren’t surprised that he had a tattoo in her honor.

“That’s a beautiful name,” you said softly.

“She was a beautiful woman.” He smiled gently at you.

Your eyes shifted from his down to his necklace. He reached up to hold the silver ring between his thumb and index finger, “It was her wedding band. My dad gave it to me after she passed. I didn’t feel like it was doing her justice, so I got the tattoo as well.”

You nodded sadly, looking into your lap. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, “Let’s not turn this into a pity party. Let’s have some fun. We’re on a date.” He stood up, reaching his hand out for you to take.

You took it and he pulled you up.

“Let’s go in the water.” He smirked.

You pulled your shirt over your head and pulled down your shorts to leave you in your bikini. If you had been with anyone else, you would have been extremely self-conscious. But being around Poe made you feel like yourself. You weren’t as nervous as you had been a week ago. He was making it clear how much he respected you.

He smiled at you in which your cheeks flushed.

“You’re beautiful.”

Your eyes shot up to meet his, your small smile dropping slightly.

“What?” He noticed your demeanor change.

You gulped, “No one has ever called me beautiful before.”

It was true. Kyle was your first boyfriend and he never called you beautiful. He never called you anything, for that matter. Except sexy, and that’s only when he would try to get you in bed. But he would never call you any terms of endearment, nor would he ever make you feel beautiful.

His smile turned to a frown. “Didn’t you have a boyfriend?”

No, no, no. Don’t bring him up. You were able to shrug it off.

He walked toward you, tilting your chin up to look at him. “Well I’ll tell you a million times. You are beautiful.”

You softly smiled. “Thank you.”

You were falling faster than you would have liked to.

Poe smiled back at you before scooping you up and throwing you over his shoulder, a small scream leaving your lips.

“Poe Dameron, put me down!” You laughed. He was careful. If you really wanted to be put down, he would put you down. He didn’t want to mess up again. But he could tell in your tone that you were being playful.

“No, thanks.” He ran down the sand into the water before setting you down.

You yelped at the change in temperature, the cold waves crashing on your legs.

Poe splashed you, causing you to gasp. You shot him a glare, your jaw hanging open slightly, before you splashed him back. “It’s on”.

You and Poe continued to splash each other as if you were a couple of kids until Poe pulled you to him, wrapping his arms around your waist. You were unsure where to place your hands, but you eventually sat them on his biceps, which he purposefully flexed.

He sighed, his goofy smile turning more serious. “I know you said you just got out of a relationship, and that you couldn’t do this right now, but I like you a lot. I feel like I have known you my entire life. You’re so easy to talk to. You laugh at my jokes, which by the way are terrible, so thank you for that.”

You laughed slightly, looking up at him. You knew where he was going with this, but you already knew your answer. He was making you feel again, something you didn’t think that was possible. At least not this fast. You had thrown away your notebook right before you left this morning. You were ready to completely start fresh. That wasn’t to say that you weren’t still hurt, and some things would be extremely sensitive, but you wanted to try this with Poe. Just like Leia said, you know what you want.

“You’re beautiful, funny, sassy,” You blushed and smiled, running your hands up and down his arms. “I know this is only our first date but, I’d like to make you my girlfriend. It doesn’t have to be today, or even tomorrow. But I want you to know that I’ll give you all the time you need.”

He was willing to wait for you.

“Poe.”

“And I don’t know what you went through in New York, but I would never, ever, hurt you.”

“Poe I-” You tried cutting him off.

“Yes, I know. Since I’m a pilot I am gone a lot, but I would never-” You cut him off by placing your lips on top of his. The kiss was soft, different from the kisses you had shared at the club.

He kissed you back and you felt as though you were floating. His lips were soft and warm, heat shooting through your body even though you were still standing in the cold water.

He cupped your cheek, tilting your head slightly to kiss you deeper. Even though it wasn’t the first kiss you two had shared, it had felt like it.

You pulled away, looking up at him. “I came here to start over. I’m tired of holding myself back. You’ve pulled me out of my shell and I admire you so much for it. I’m not perfect, and I might be a lot to handle sometimes, but if you are up for the challenge, then yes. I’ll be your girlfriend.”

You didn’t think Poes smile could get any wider, but it did. He picked you up and spun you around, and you giggled hysterically.

He sat you down, placing his forehead on top of yours before pecking your lips. “You’re my girlfriend”

You rolled your eyes playfully, walking out of the water.

He chased you, reaching down to grab your hand as you walked back to the blanket. Not even two minutes into being official and the boy was already smitten.

The rest of the date you spent laughing and exchanging occasional kisses. It had seemed as though Poe had so many he was waiting to give you, and he was giving them to you all at once.

Poe had pulled you into his lap, giving soft kisses to your shoulder and cheek and you would giggle and scrunch your face at the tickling sensation.

“Do you have any more food? I’m kind of hungry.” You asked, looking into the picnic basket.

He removed his lips from your shoulder to glance inside. He reached in to pull out a small bag of grapes, handing them to you.

You opened them and popped a few into your mouth before offering some to Poe. He grabbed one, throwing it at a seagull that was a few feet away from where you two had sat.

“Poe!”

“What? It looked hungry.” He raised his shoulders and pointed at the seagull.

“Yeah well now it’s going to alert its fellow seagull buddies and our date is going to have an audience!” You crawled out of his lap as more seagulls landed near your towel.

“Nope, no, I am walking away” You laughed and stood up, trying to walk away from the birds that were now hovering over Poe.

“They just want some food! Here.” Poe threw some more grapes.

You watched as the seagulls got closer to Poe, who was now standing with slight panic on his face. He started to run away from them in hopes that they would eat the grapes and leave, but they only flew after him. You couldn’t help but laugh so hard you nearly cried, Poe running in circles yelling for you to save him.

The birds eventually gave up and flew away, and Poe ran to you, pulling you into him and burying his head in your neck. “They almost killed me”

“You are so overdramatic,” You laughed, pushing him off you gently. “You ready for that walk now?”

He nodded, brushing his hair out of his face. “It’s getting a little chilly, I’m going to change and then we can take our walk down the shore and watch the sunset. It will be very romantic.” He winked.

You giggled again, walking to your bag to grab your clothes. You changed into some sweats and a hoodie, and Poe did the same.

“Ready?” Poe asked, reaching his hand out for you.

You nodded, taking it and intertwining your fingers as you walked along the shore. The water barely caressed your feet as you walked and talked, sharing pecks on the lips every now and then until Poe stopped walking, pulling you to his chest and placing a small kiss on the crown of your head. You rested your head on his chest and let out a tiny sigh.

You were feeling excited, but a part of you was upset with yourself for allowing you to get attached to someone so quickly, let alone hop into another relationship after just getting out of an abusive long-term relationship. You couldn’t help but worry you would end up hurt again, but for now you stood in the arms of Poe, his head on top of yours as you watched a mixture of reds and oranges paint the sky as the sun faded behind the sea.

taglist <open> @twomoonstwosuns @darksideofclarke @damnyoudameron @rewritingstarrs @aidela @softly-sad @fanfiction-trashpile @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @lanatheawesome @fantasticcopeaglepasta @the-cry-of-youth @yeeintensifies @itsamedeemoney @yougottakeeponkeepinon @cloud-leader @multifandomlife22 @aroseamongthestars

[path-of-my-childhood]

"Miss Americana" Director Lana Wilson on Capturing Taylor Swift, Mid-Transformation

By: Chris Willman for Variety Date: January 31st 2020

Lana Wilson was taking a risk - albeit a pretty good bet - when she set out to make what turned out to be “Miss Americana,” her new Netflix documentary. As Taylor Swift told Variety: 

“When I began thinking about maybe possibly having a documentary-type thing happen, it was really just because I felt like I would want to have footage of what was happening in my life, just to have later on in my life, even if we never put it out, or even if we put it out decades down the line. When we brought Lana on board, I was pretty open with her about the fact that this may be something that I wasn’t actually ready to put out. So I think we began the process without a lot of pressure, because I didn’t necessarily think that it was an actual eventuality to put out the documentary.”

Wilson was too fascinated by what she was getting early on to worry much about whether her subject would sign off on releasing it. At the outset, she was catching Swift at the end of the “Reputation” album/tour cycle, when Swift was finding a more contented place in her personal life and finally exorcising Kanye-gate from her system. The star quickly moved on to the making of “Lover,” her most upbeat album, with Wilson getting fly-on-wall footage that captures the joy of creation and eureka moments in the writing process in a way few films ever have. And then things got more interesting altogether when Swift decided that the days she could afford to be standoffish about what was happening in the country had come to an end. The movie - and by now, it was a movie - had its third act.

Variety spoke with Wilson for the magazine’s cover story last week on Swift, prior to “Miss Americana’s” Sundance premiere. Here’s a breakout of more of that conversation.

There is some footage in the movie that goes back a few years that clearly predates your involvement. When did you start filming - was it during the “Lover” writing and recording sessions or the “Reputation” tour before that? I came on during the tour. She had been collecting bits and pieces of footage; she often filmed stuff with her own cell phone - songwriting stuff. Netflix introduced us, and we really hit it off the first time we met. She had watched my previous work, and I had admired her for years, not just for her music, but also the fact that she had written all of her own songs since she was 15, and that she’s the sole creative force behind the whole shape of her career. When we met, I remember being excited that she didn’t want to make a traditional pop star documentary. She knew that she was in the middle of a really important time in her life, coming out of a very dark period, and wanted me to collaborate on something that captured what she was going through that was raw and honest and emotionally intimate.

When we first talked about it, she immediately wanted me to bring my perspective as a director to what was going on with her now and to make a film that really had something to say. I think the first time we met, we talked for 20 minutes about narrative structure in documentaries, and we even talked about film score in documentaries. At one point she said that she didn’t like documentaries that are like propaganda, and I was thrilled to hear that. In my work, I take stories that are often told through sound bites and headlines and bring depth and complexity to them. My goal is always to reveal the humanity that’s beneath the oversimplification. And to me, there are few things more frequently diminished and reduced by others than female creative forces.

It could be seen as a feminist statement, or at least some kind of intention on her part, that she picked someone who’d made an abortion documentary (“After Tiller”). It could also mean that she was just more comfortable with a woman. I think that’s totally true. When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. But that said, even before meeting her, I could only imagine how much pressure and scrutiny she’d faced as a powerful and successful female artist. And I definitely sensed that those pressures would be ones that other people and especially other women and girls could relate to. Obviously, yeah, I’m a female artist working in a male-dominated industry. So although Taylor and I inhabit very different worlds, I figured that we’d have some shared experiences. And I also worked with an all-female crew, which I do think helped her feel comfortable right off the bat, and a small crew. When I met her, she hadn’t done an interview in almost three years. The first one she did was an audio (-only) interview with me for this film. So it was a big deal, and trust was a big part of that.

You had an all-female crew, but Morgan Neville’s name is on there as a producer, and he’s not a gal. [Laughter.] What’s his role in it? He was a part of the creative process, and it was wonderful to get to work with him, as a creative sounding board, from start to finish. On the crew, I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women, and not just the other way around! So that was the only exception to the all-female rule.

It had to have been a small crew, when you were filming the fly-on-the-wall creative stuff in the recording studios, sometimes in very small control rooms. It was often just me and one or two other people in the room with her, trying to keep the footprint as small as possible. You know, no one had filmed her writing songs before. That was some of my favorite stuff to film, but it was also the stuff where we tried to really be the most low-key presence possible. You’re just in a tiny room, and it feels so amazing to watch her get in the zone creatively. One of the most fun parts for me as a director is when it feels like you’ve been in the studio for enough hours that everyone is so relaxed that you really feel invisible in a wonderful, exciting way.

When she’s having the talk with her team about wanting to make endorsements for the midterm elections, which is maybe the most important scene in the film, it’s not clear if that is something you shot or if that was something that was on the spur of the moment, where she had someone get a camera in your absence. That was spur of the moment. So that was something someone on her team shot who was pretty good with the camera. That was very last minute. I’d been starting to work with her and talk with her before that, and I’d say, “If something’s happening last-minute that could be at all important or meaningful, film it with your cell phone, of if there’s someone around you that has a little DSLR camera or something, they could film it.” It allowed us to get really powerful, crucial scenes like that one that might’ve been hard logistically to get otherwise. And I love the personal quality of that material from especially the few little bits of stuff from her cell phone.

She told us she wasn’t sure she wanted to actually make or release a movie when filming started. Did she make that clear to you when it started? Like, this might be on spec, and might not come out? Well, it was less talking about the end result and more, honestly, just talking about what she was going through emotionally at that time and the kind of things that were on her mind. Then we’d brainstorm stuff that could be cool to film. I love the idea of filming really quiet, almost more mundane moments, because I think that ordinary/extraordinary contradiction that’s so central to the life of someone in the public eye is really interesting. I loved that moment early in the film where she’s alone in the car in the dark after the show riding to her hotel room - the idea of going from being on a massive stage in front of tens of thousands of people to being an ordinary person alone just going to bed at the end of the night.

She’s already been pretty candid with her fans. There are moments in the film where she’s shown as being annoyed with the fans and photographers gathered outside her door and that sort of thing. Do you think she felt okay with being portrayed as not being happy at all times? Oh yeah, totally. She’s a complex human being, and I think whether you like her music or not, if you watch this movie, you really get to know her as a human. And as you say, she writes so candidly in her lyrics about the hardest times, the times when she made mistakes. And that is what her fans love her for. But a lot of people don’t share their hard times. The most popular photos on Instagram are of weddings and babies, when what’s really relatable and what’s meaningful is connecting with someone over that time things weren’t perfect, or the friendship or relationship that didn’t work out, or the argument you had with your mom or something. You know, everyone wants to feel less alone in the more difficult experiences in life. And that’s one reason why they turn to art. And I think it’s why people watch movies. And the happy moments are meaningful when you’ve also been through the sad ones. Young girls need to see that their heroes are just as human as they are. And I think girls and boys of all ages could benefit from that reminder.

I want people to be surprised by it because I think that Taylor Swift is someone who everyone thinks they know. But I think if people start watching this film, they’ll realize they’re watching a film about this iconic artist deciding to live life on her own terms, and it’s a feminist coming of age story. I think they’ll be surprised by her sense of humor and her self-awareness, and they can appreciate the craft of songwriting, for instance. So I hope that even if people are not fans, that they’ll watch the movie and be really surprised and also feel like they’ve just met a complicated, layered human being.

Very few people at the superstar level have the gift of healthy self-awareness that she seems to have. Self-consciousness, yes, but self-awareness, that’s more rare. Yeah, it’s so true. I’m sure you’ve seen bits of the home movies in some of her videos in the past. When I looked at the home movies, what struck me the most about them is that she really always has been the same person. She’s been kind and generous and smart and imaginative and very hardworking since she was a girl. At age 11 she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. One of my favorite moments in the archives in the film is this clip of her, where she’s like in a diner and it’s just after the release of her first album, and she’s 16. Her childhood dream has just come true. And she tells the interviewer that she wakes up everyday being like, “Yes, this is happening.” But then she tells herself, “Now you have to figure out how to make it last.” That is so her. She had so much maturity and pretentiousness then, and she knew she wanted this to be her career and her life, and she wanted to write songs forever. It’s incredible to see a person at that age that self-possessed and cognizant.

At one point she says she wants to use her platform to speak out because she’s aware she won’t be in this position forever, where her opinions have some kind of import. Not that she’s predicting a major downfall, but she knows she won’t always have this attention. That’s undoubtedly true, but at the same time, she’s one of the only ones besides Beyonce that we would imagine being almost as big a star in 20 years, and not necessarily subject to the normal standards of diminishment of interest. She’s conscious of the historically short lifespan of female pop stars, and it’s so poignant when she says that. But it’s hard to know what will happen, though, because she issuch a trailblazer. I mean, there’s just been no one like her, and her fan base and the relationship she has with her fans is so unique, and, I mean, she’s already done so many things that no one else has done before — who knows what will happen in the future? She is cognizant of what’s happened in the past and what’s going to happen in the future … but it could be anything, because she’s different than anyone that’s come before.

We can hope we all live long enough to find out what a 50- or 60-year-old Taylor Swift is like. I love that idea too. I want to go to the arena tour of a 60-year-old Taylor Swift. I want to know what the songs she’s writing then are.

The last third of the film focuses on her decision to make a political statement and what comes after. It was a profound decision for her to make, and a multilayered one. In that, I saw this feminist coming-of-age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.

You didn’t actually have the “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” song in the movie, but that’s the song on the album that most speaks to her political turn. So it seemed like a good thing to title the movie after? It was cool because it’s obviously, yeah, a reference to this song she wrote that has political themes. It was interesting that when the documentary was announced, her fans instantly understood some of the themes the film would have, because of the song title. And then for me, even if you don’t know the song, I see the movie as in some ways looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart. So I like how the title evokes that, too.

You have the twin moments of disappointment in the movie. Early on, you have the Grammy disappointment, and then later there’s the midterm result disappointment. Those are the parallel scenes, almost, where she’s having to deal with the results not turning out as she planned and one of these ultimately being more important than the other. I’m glad you noticed that. That means a lot. One thing that I think is amazing about her is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammys news, this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say “That wasn’t right.” She’s like, “Okay, I’m going to work even harder.” And I think it’s amazing how you see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. Then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into this song (“Only the Young”). It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs. You get to actually witness that in both cases.

Were you surprised that she addressed having had what could be described as an eating disorder? She seems hesitant to use that term but finally does. She’s been open about so many things, but that’s not something that she’s revealed. No, that’s one of my favorite sequences of the film. I was surprised, of course. But when you hear her talk about it, I love how she’s kind of thinking out loud. And yeah, she’s an icon of beauty, but even for an icon of beauty, as she articulates so beautifully, women are in this double bind situation. It’s impossible for anyone to meet every standard of beauty. It’s an impossible situation. And every woman will see herself in that sequence. I just have no doubt. And I do think people will be really surprised by it.

I tend to be clueless about these minor shifts in weight or body size, until people point them out en masse. It never would have occurred to me that she was any less thin on the “Reputation” tour until I started seeing comments about weight gain. But there are those who have their antennae out for the slightest change, and often it’s women, maybe it’s because you’re under that scrutiny yourselves. But you can also just not notice people being really skinny, because we’re all so accustomed to seeing women on magazine covers who are unhealthy skinny, and that’s become normalized. I think it’s interesting what you say about what you read during “Reputation” about her weight, because you really can’t win. There is a moment in the film where you see that part of the media backlash she experienced during 2016 was people saying, “Oh, she’s too skinny.” People complain if you’re too skinny, and if you’re not too skinny, you’re too fat. It’s incessant, and I can say this as a woman: It’s amazing to me how people are constantly like “You look skinny” or “You’ve gained weight.” People you barely know say this to you. And it feels awful, and you can’t win. So I think it’s really powerful to see someone who is a role model for so many girls and women be really honest about that. It’s a brave thing of her to do, and I think it will have a huge impact.

Her interactions with Kanye West are such an essential part of the story, but that’s not a name that has really ever escaped her lips publicly since 2010; she’ll say “a person” or something euphemistic if she has to address it. So I was in suspense to see whether or how much it would come up in your film,  given how little capital she wants to give this guy in her life. It’s a crux, twice, of her journey of self-acceptance, but it’s easy to imagine her not wanting it in the film. I think it’s an important part of the story, but I wanted to position… Like, with the 2009 VMAs, what was surprising to me when I asked her about it was that she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, and she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was. That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before. And it meant a lot more to me because it made more sense in the context of her being this extraordinary young artist who is doing so well, and who, like so many performing artists, loves applause. And then she is on stage [still as a teenager] and it felt like all these people were booing her. When you put it that way, it’s so much more relatable to me, and it’s understandable to anyone, because we all want people to like us. And being on stage with a giant crowd booing would be horrible for anyone. So we tried to use it in a way that showed it in a slightly different light than people have seen before... We all care about what people think about us. It’s not a celebrity problem. It’s a universal one. It’s something everyone goes through, and I think the difference is that with Taylor, it plays out on a massive international stage.

At the outset, you’ve got her in voiceover talking about how she wanted to be the good girl and be accepted. And in the end, she is a good girl, so maybe that’s not a bad thing to want to be, but there are gradations of that. She’s played around with bad girl archetypes in the “Reputation” imagery and songs, but it was role-playing to a degree. Where do you think she ended up on the scale of all that? She starts out as a good girl and she ends up as a good girl who’s decided to speak out. You know, we live in a society in which girls are taught that other people’s approval is of paramount importance to our self-worth. “Do they like me? Was I nice enough? Are they mad at me?” Every woman I know is constantly asking herself these questions. So it’s so relatable in that way. But it’s not about not being a good person. I think that the arc in the film and what Taylor went through was letting go a little bit of what other people think of her, deciding to live on her own terms, and to put her own values first. The transformation that you see is going through this period where she lets go a little bit of that. She’s a good girl speaking out now, in a way. You can’t win everyone over. No one can. I think she’s really accepted that in a deep way.

[claudia1829things]

"FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" (1967) Review

"FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" (1998) Review To my knowledge, there have been five adaptations of Thomas Hardy's 1874 novel, "Far From the Madding Crowd". One of them is even a modern day adaptation. I have not seen this modern version of Hardy's novel. But I have seen at least three adaptations, including the 1967 version directed by John Schlesinger.

"FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" - at least the 1967 version - has been highly regarded by critics, moviegoers and fans of Hardy's novel for nearly five decades. It is the adaptation that other ones have been measured against . . . much to their detriment. "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" was a different direction for Schlesinger. It would prove to be the first of five period productions directed by him. Schlesinger and screenwriter Frederic Raphael stuck as closely to Hardy's novel as they possibly could. The movie was not a hundred percent adaptation of Hardy's novel, but it was pretty close. Anyone familiar with Hardy's novel know the tale. It begins with a young 19th century Englishwoman named Bathsheba Everdene, living on a farm with her aunt, Mrs. Hurst. She meets Gabriel Oak, a former shepherd who has leased and stocked a sheep farm. Gabriel falls in love with Bathsheba and eventually proposes marriage. Although she likes Gabriel, Bathsheba values her independence too much and rejects his marriage proposal. Gabriel's fortunes take a worse for turn, when his inexperienced sheep dog drives his flock of sheep over a cliff, bankrupting him. Bathsheba, on the other hand, inherits her uncle's prosperous estate. Their paths crosses again, and she ends up hiring Gabriel as her new shepherd. Bathsheba has also become acquainted with her new neighbor, the wealthy farmer John Boldwood, who becomes romantically obsessed with her after she sends him a Valentine's Day card as a joke. He sets about wooing her in a persistent manner that she finds difficult to ignore. But just as Bathsheba is about to consider Mr. Boldwood as a potential husband, Sergeant Frank Troy enters her life and she becomes infatuated with him. Frank was set to marry one of Bathsheba's former servants, a young woman named Fanny Robin. Unfortunately, the latter showed up at the wrong church for the wedding and an angry and humiliated Frank called off the wedding. Bathsheba finds herself in the middle of a rather unpleasant love triangle between Boldwood and Frank, while Gabriel can only watch helplessly as the situation develops into tragedy. "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" is a beautiful movie to behold . . . visually. One can credit the movie's sweeping and colorful look to its iconic cinematographer Nicolas Roeg. Thanks to the latter, the English counties of Wiltshire and Dorset never looked lovelier. Not surprisingly, Roeg earned a BAFTA nomination for his work. The movie also benefited from Richard Macdonald's production designs, which did an excellent job in recreating rural England in the mid 19th century. This was especially apparent in those scenes that featured Gabriel's arrival at Shottwood, and his attempts to get hired as a bailiff or a shepherd at a hiring fair; the harvest meal at the Everdene farm; Bathsheba's meeting with Frank in Bath; the rural fair attended by Bathsheba and Mr. Boldwood; and the Christmas party held by Mr. Boldwood. I will not pretend that I found Richard Rodney Bennett's score particularly memorable. But I must admit that it blended well with the movie's plot and Schlesinger's direction. I also noticed that Bennett added traditional English folk songs in various scenes throughout the movie. I have seen at least two movie versions and one television adaptation of Hardy's novel. And it occurred to me that the main reason why I ended up enjoying all three adaptations so much is that I really liked Hardy's tale. I really do. More importantly, all three adaptations, including this 1967 movie, did an excellent job in capturing the novel's spirit. With a running time of 169 minutes, "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" took its time in conveying Hardy's story . . . with a few little shortcuts. And thanks to Schlesinger's direction and Raphael's screenplay, the movie not only recaptured both the idyllic nature of 19th century rural England, but also its harsh realities. More importantly, the movie brought alive to the screen, Hardy's complex characters and romances. Hollywood once made a movie about a woman torn between three men in 1941's "TOM, DICK, AND HARRY" with Ginger Rogers. But the complexity between the one woman and the three men was nothing in compare to this tale. Especially, when the leading lady is such a complex and ambiguous character like Bathsheba Everdene. Another aspect of "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" that I enjoyed were the interactions between the movie's leads and the supporting cast who portrayed Bathsheba's employees. Like her relationships with Gabriel, Frank and Mr. Boldwood; the leading lady's relationships with her employees - especially the women who worked inside her home - proved to be very interesting. There was a good deal of controversy when Julie Christie was announced as the actress to portray Bathsheba Everdene. Apparently, the media did not consider her capable of portraying the tumultuous mid-Victorian maiden . . . or any other period character. Well, she proved them wrong. Christie gave a very skillful and nuanced performance as the ambiguous Bathsheba, capturing the character's passion, vanity and at times, insecurity. Terence Stamp was another actor more associated with the Swinging Sixties scene in London, but unlike Christie, his casting did not generate any controversy. I might as well place my cards on the table. I think Stamp proved to be the best Frank Troy I have seen on screen, despite the first-rate performances of the other two actors I have seen in role. He really did an excellent job in re-creating Frank's charm, roguishness and unstable nature. Thanks to Stamp's performance, I can see why Schlesinger became so fascinated with the character. Despite Christie and Stamp's popularity with moviegoers, the two actors who walked away with nominations and an award were Peter Finch and Alan Bates. No matter how interesting all of the other characters were, I personally found the William Boldwood character to be the most fascinating one in Hardy's tale. And Peter Finch, who won the National Board of Review Award for Best Actor did a superb job in bringing the character to life. Finch beautifully re-captured the nuances of a character that I not only found sympathetic, but also a bit frightening at times. Alan Bates earned a Golden Globe nomination for his portrayal of the stalwart Gabriel Oak, which I believe he fully deserved. I think portraying such a minimalist character like Gabriel must be quite difficult for any actor. He is a character that required real skill and subtlety. Bates certainly did the job. The actor managed to convey the passion that Gabriel harbored for Bathsheba without any theatrical acting and at the same time, convey the character's introverted and sensible nature. The movie also benefited from some skillful and solid work from its supporting cast that included Golden Globe nominee Prunella Ransome, who portrayed the tragic Fanny Robin; Fiona Walker (from 1972's "EMMA"); Alison Leggatt; John Barrett; and iconic character actor, Freddie Jones. As much as I enjoyed "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD", there were some aspects of the production that I found troublesome. Earlier, I had pointed out that Schlesinger had seemed so fascinated by the Frank Troy character. And while this contributed to Terence Stamp's presence in the movie, Schlesinger's handling of the character threatened to overshadow the entire movie. Quite frankly, he seemed a bit too obsessed with Frank for my tastes. This heavy emphasis on Frank - especially in two-thirds of the movie - also seemed to overshadow Bathsheba's relationship with Gabriel Oak. At one point, I found myself wondering what happened to the character. Worse, the chemistry between Julie Christie and Alan Bates had somewhat dissipated by the movie's last act to the point that it barely seemed to exist by the end of the movie. And Schlesinger allowed the "ghost" of Frank Troy to hover over Bathsheba and Gabriel's future relationship by ending the movie with a shot of a toy soldier inside the Everdeen-Oak household. No wonder Stamp was credited as the male lead in this film. There were other aspects of "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" that either troubled me or failed to impress me. I am at a loss on how Prunella Ransome earned a Golden Globe nomination for her portrayal of Fanny Robin. Mind you, she gave a very good performance. But she was on the screen for such a small amount of time that there seemed to be no opportunity for the narrative to delve into her character. Ransome's Fanny came off as a plot device and a part of me cannot help but blame Hardy's original novel for this failure. Although I cannot deny that Nicholas Roeg's cinematography was visually beautiful to me; I also found myself annoyed by his and Schlesinger's overuse of far shots. It reminded me of how director William Wyler and cinematographer Franz F. Planer nearly went overboard in their use of far shots in the 1958 western, "THE BIG COUNTRY". I read somewhere that Alan Barrett had earned a BAFTA nomination for Best Costume Designs for this film. I do not mean to be cruel, but how in the hell did that happened? I have to be frank. I was not impressed with the costumes featured in this film. Although I managed to spot a few costumes that struck me as a well-done re-creation of fashion in the mid-to-late 1860s, most of the other costumes looked as if they had been rented from a warehouse in Hollywood or London. Not impressed at all. Aside from my complaints, I enjoyed "FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD" very much. A good deal of delight in the film originated with Thomas Hardy's original tale. But if I must be honest, a good deal of filmmakers have screwed up a potential adaptation with either bad writing, bad direction or both. Thankfully, I cannot say the same about "FAR FROM MADDING CROWD". Thanks to the first-rate artistry of the film's crew, a well-written screenplay by Frederic Raphael, a very talented cast led by Julie Christie; director John Schlesinger did an excellent in bringing Hardy's tale to the screen.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Wallice has shared her subversive new single 'Hey Michael'. 'Hey Michael' amplifies her blood-thirsty nature, a revenge anthem that finds Wallice turning into a worse villain than her erstwhile love interest. A song about toxic tendencies and how they manifest in our lives, 'Hey Michael' twists and turns around American Psycho imagery. Wallice labels "a revenge anthem for anyone who has encountered a gaslighting, manipulative person. It’s what I wish I would have said to all the ‘Michael’s’ I have met in my life. It can be substituted by many names, we all know or have met a ‘Michael’ though. Somehow the world revolves around them and they just can’t catch a break, because they never do anything wrong and it’s usually your fault. You should have listened to your gut instinct and swiped left on this Michael. This isn’t a man-hating song, it’s just something many people can relate to. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to admit just how bad a friend, date, or romantic partner was and a lot of the time, I would just smile and laugh off stupid remarks but when I think back, I wish I had told them off. But at the same time, my persona in the song is not the best person either. I literally say: I think I want to start a fight, which one is your girlfriend? The whole song is funny because I am so focused on how shitty Michael is that I don’t even think about how shitty I might be as well." Directed by Phil Stillwell, the video takes place at a house party, with Wallice interacting with various 'Michaels' before her behaviour spirals into something much, much worse. [via Clash]

In the same vein as Massive Attack’s suburban groove and social commentary in the mid 90’s, KITA have captured the rhythm and heartbeat of suburban Pōneke; a city abuzz with a vibrant music and dramatic performance scene in their brand new track and official video, ‘Private Lives’. Weaving together elements of vintage rock, pop and soul, and warm hints of synth, KITA have created a skin-prickling piece of magic with ‘Private Lives’, a deeply beautiful track penned in 2020’s lockdown, that delves into the unknown of what happens when the blinds are shut – the parts of life that are unseen by others. "Standing from my kitchen window during lockdown in Aotearoa, sinister thoughts entered my mind about what could be happening behind closed doors for people”, says front-woman Nikita 雅涵 Tu- Bryant. The video tells the story of a father and daughter’s relationship amongst snapshots of everyday life and its monotonous anonymity, while things aren’t always what they appear on the surface. Late at night the father can finally reveal his true self, adorning makeup and sequins, only to be spied by his daughter. The two then share a special moment of dressing up and dancing together, a true celebration of individuality, self-love and the beauty of self-expression.

'Just Chemistry' is the third single from Dance Lessons, a London-based, female-fronted and produced trio, creating what they define as Serrated Pop. 'Just Chemistry' is a delicate hymn to the unspoken. Dance Lessons return with their signature sound – minimal production, sleek vocals and intricate arrangements. Ann says: “'Just Chemistry' is about the over-complication of our relationships. It’s about the things that are left unsaid in-between the awkward text messages and conversations, and how the absence of knowing can be misinterpreted as doubt. Last year was a difficult one. For a long time, I felt at the mercy of my emotions. I doubted where things were going. I lived in the future and found it hard to commit to the present. But these moments of not knowing can be equally thrilling and beautiful. And that’s what the song is about: finding beauty in the unspoken. In most cases, it’s chemistry that makes us fall in love. Things end, all is temporary. Let’s not go to war with one another over it.” Nat says on the video: “A friend told us about this weird and wonderful house in North London that feels a little like stepping into an acid trip. We obviously wanted to check it out. It’s completely surreal, all over the place (in a great way) and generally eclectic, which felt inherently us. We instantly wanted to do something there and asked the owner for permission to shoot a music video. We filmed during lockdown and were let loose embracing all the oddness of it. Ann also designed and created the outfit she wears in the video, something she does with most of her wardrobe. It was shot, directed and edited by our hugely talented friends Ben Hanson and Simon Frost from Borderland Studios.”

Returning with her first offering of the year, North London’s rising star Laurel Smith is ready to reveal her anticipated new single, ‘Out the Cage’ accompanied by an action packed and thrilling cinematic style music video directed by Jeremie Brivet and Jai Garcha. Sticking to her winning recipe of moody, dark, electro-pop production paired with effortlessly edgy tales of narrative lyricism, ‘Out the Cage’ is the next huge single from the young, innovative artist that is sure to follow the same trajectory of success as its predecessor, ‘Game Over’ released late last year. A songwriter and recording artist, Laurel Smith has been writing songs since the age of sixteen. With each single she’s released, Laurel has continued to adapt her sound and aesthetic, consistently honing her craft and evolving her brand. She has carefully carved out her place in an ever crowded industry and proceeds to turn heads at every corner. “‘Out The Cage’ is a song about breaking out from your constraints, both physical and mental. Although it can be interpreted in any way, when I wrote it I created a story around a bored housewife, falling out of love with her husband, she fantasises about tying him up and leaving him to be a badass assassin in a video game type world, roaming the city at night and living a life of unpredictability and excitement”.

Hailing from the Philippines, singer-songwriter Laica is coming off a breakout 2020. Now the 21-year-old is gearing up for the release of her debut album I’m so fine at being lonely. The first single off the project, 'love u lately' is here, accompanied by a music video directed by Cooper Leith. 'Love u lately' is a relatable and infectious track. The song revolves around dating, understanding mixed signals, and the confusion that surrounds that world. Lyrically, Laica walks us through her experiences here, voicing her thoughts and frustrations about someone who she just can't seem to read right. Production-wise, the track is carried by a pulsing synth and a groovy bass. Together, the track feels upbeat. The vibe created by the production stands in contrast with the more emotional lyrics, making the track complex and interesting. The music video takes the concept of 'love u lately' to the extreme, in a fun and playful way. Laica is seen capturing her dream boy and attempting to use witchcraft to finally win him over. The video has a very DIY feel, which could serve to add to the reliability of the track. It’s a great extension of the track and taps into everyone’s most fantasy-driven realities. [via Earmilk]

At first, Emily C Browning wasn't sure what to think. Spurned, rejected, and cast aside, she was angry, furious, and - at times - utterly bereft. Usually she'd utilise songwriting as a vessel for her emotions, but when she was so conflicted, and feeling so negative, that it just didn't enter her mind. The Christchurch, New Zealand artist needed to take a step back, and when she located some perspective, she was ready to act. New single 'I Wasn't Into You Anyway' is a soaring slice of revenge, one that finds Emily C Browning taking full control of her music. Her first solo production credit, its reminiscent of those surging, empowering Maggie Rogers bops, while also containing similar DNA to Sharon Van Etten's work. Lyrically, it's absolutely her own creation, with Emily leaning on those often-hidden feelings. She comments... "Everyday for a month I wrote in my journal: I want to write a song about feeling rejected. But I couldn’t figure out how to keep it light and funny, it can be quite a painful topic and I didn’t want to sound too heavy. But I kept working on it everyday and came up with this song. I then spent another month recording it, trying to capture a sound that stayed upbeat and playful. I put so much time and energy into the song that I ended up completely forgetting about the person who rejected me in the first place (honest, I swear)." [via Clash]

Alt-pop force Holly Humberstone returns with new single 'Haunted House'. The songwriter's potent debut EP Falling Asleep At The Wheel was a sensation, racking up more than 100 million global streams. A bona fide phenomenon, Holly returns with a single that displays a more nuanced, reflective side to her work. 'Haunted House' digs into childhood, and looks at the way memory can frame the way we construct our identities. She comments: "I wrote this song about the old and characterful house I grew up in. The house is such a huge part of who I am and our family. With my sisters and I moving out and living separate lives, coming home feels very comforting and one of the only things keeping us all connected." Playing with concrete imagery and no small degree of invention, 'Haunted House' connects art to life in an enchanting fashion. She adds: "The house is almost falling down around us now though, and we’ve realised that pretty soon we’ll be forced to leave. There’s a cellar full of meat hooks and a climate so damp mushrooms grow out of the walls. Loads of people have probably died here in the past but I’ve always felt really safe. It’s like a seventh family member. It’s part of me." [via Clash]

In 2019, the Boston-born and Brooklyn-based indie rock album Crumb released their debut album Jinx. Crumb haven’t yet announced plans to follow that album up, but they’re definitely working towards something. Last month, the band came out with a one-off single called 'Trophy.' Now, they’ve followed that one with two new tracks, and they’re both winners. The new songs 'BNR' and 'Balloon' both fit nicely into Crumb’s comfort zone. The band’s sound is a rich, sophisticated take on psychedelia, with blissed-out lead vocals from Lila Ramani and with some great funky drum action. The band co-produced both songs with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, who’s done great recent work with people like Father John Misty and Weyes Blood and the Killers and who knows how to make oblique ’70s-style pop sound good. But Crumb themselves deserve a ton of credit for coming up with a sound this layered and weird. They’re the rare circa-2021 band who might remind you of Broadcast. In a press release, Ramani says, “‘BNR’ is an ode to my favorite colors. I had a weird obsession with those colors in winter 2018-2019 and felt like they would follow me around everywhere I went." 'BNR' also has a cool music video. Director Joe Mischo starts the clip off as a hallucinatory reverie, but he turns it sharply towards horror at the end. [via Stereogum]

Last year, Limerick poet/musician Sinead O’Brien released her debut EP, Drowning In Blessings. It was a unique work, a handful of songs featuring O’Brien’s sing-speak over spindly, post-punk guitars. It garnered O’Brien a bit of buzz overseas, and it left you wondering where she might take her music from there. Now, O’Brien’s back with a new song called 'Kid Stuff.' “‘Kid Stuff’ shows up all different tones on different days,” O’Brien said in a statement. “There’s something alive in it which cannot be caught or told. It is direct but complex; it contains chapters. This feels like our purest and most succinct expression yet.” Like Drowning In Blessings, 'Kid Stuff' found O’Brien working with Speedy Wunderground mastermind Dan Carey. Musically, it hints at a level up moment for O’Brien. There was something alluring and jagged about Drowning In Blessings, but 'Kid Stuff' places her usual approach over a song that is surprisingly groovy — maybe even a little danceable. It comes with a video directed by Saskia Dixie. [via Stereogum]

Das Beat are made up of German actress and vocalist Eddie Rabenberger and Agor of Blue Hawaii. The pair have just shared their first single 'Bubble' online now and are set to release their debut EP Identität on June 4 via Arbutus Records. Born in Berlin during 2020’s legendary lockdown, Das Beat seeks to blast both boredom and boundary. Dabbling in German New Wave, Italo Disco, Indie & Dance, their sound is unified by vocals from Eddie Rabenberger, sung in German and English. Amidst playful lyrics one finds a strong underlying pulse (das “beat”), pinning down the duo’s meandering atmospherics, dreamy synths, guitars and percussion. The duo is half-Canadian and half-German. Agor (of Blue Hawaii), moved to Berlin from Montreal in 2018. Eddie is a theatre actress originally hailing from a small town in Bavaria. Together they find a strange but alluring symbiosis - like Giorgio Moroder meets Nico, or Gina X Performance meets The Prodigy.

St. Vincent has fully embraced the ’70s aesthetic for her retro-sounding new record, Daddy’s Home. Now, she’s diving headlong into the animation styles of the era with the video for 'The Melting of the Sun'. Presented as a “betamax deluxe release” rip from “Candy’s Music Video Archives,” the clip blends live action shots of St. Vincent herself with the wavy, intermittent animation frames any Schoolhouse Rock student is familiar with. The psychedelic lines fit a song called 'The Melting of the Sun' perfectly, as do the drawings of the legends mentioned in the song’s lyrics like Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell, and Tori Amos. St. Vincent co-directed the clip with Bill Benz, while Chris McD provided the animation. [via Consequence]

Bay Area slowcore trio Sour Widows have released a new single, 'Bathroom Stall,' from their forthcoming EP Crossing Over, which they announced last month with its title track. The song’s build-up is subtle and poignant like Sufjan Stevens, but Maia Sinaiko’s evocative, sweeping vocals are one-of-a-kind, and the lyrics are graphic and tragic: “Do you remember it like I do?/ Your lips turned blue I had my fingers in your mouth/ And I couldn’t get them out.” Sinaiko said of the song: "This song is about a relationship I had with someone who struggled with addiction, who very tragically passed away three years ago while we were together. It’s about some moments we shared, and how it feels to walk around carrying that person and those experiences with me while the world stays normal. I wrote the song because I wanted to preserve and document what happened to me. to write out the scary stuff and just let it sit there forever. I think its funny that its called 'Bathroom Stall' and that it has that image in it: the song goes from heavy and dark to ordinary and totally pedestrian in a sentence, which feels absurd. And that’s kind of what it’s like to grieve. That’s kind of what’s hard to explain about grief, how absurd it is. Part of you goes to a different planet and part of you stays walking around like an alien on Earth, going to the bathroom and looking at the moon and shit." [via Stereogum]

As JUNO-nominated singer Kandle Osborne prepares to launch her new project, Set The Fire this spring, she shares the album’s third single, 'Misty Morning.' From being penned on a napkin while abroad to a Vancouver studio, 'Misty Morning' is a sonic journey that echoes soulful vulnerability and an honest reflection of realizing true love. For the video, Kandle reconnects with 'Honey Trap' director, Brandon William Fletcher, to create classic 40s noir-inspired cine-magic, filmed along the Vancouver coastline and within the lush landscape of Stanley Park. Kandle says: “‘Misty Morning’ is my first real love song, captured on a napkin while in Ischia, Italy when I was truly happy. My songwriting usually comes from a place of turmoil and catharsis, but this was simply a snapshot of a perfect, vulnerable moment. In recording it, I wanted to hide behind lush orchestration, but my producer/ best friend Michael Rendall had other ideas. He wanted to strip it down to just piano & a single vocal to take me out of my comfort zone and re-capture the open-hearted feelings I had while writing it. The song and the recording both hold for me a time when I dropped my guard for pure authentic love in spite of all my flaws and failures. In that moment, I felt my true value as a whole person for the first time.”

On 'Vertigo,' Alice Merton’s first single of 2021, the 27-year-old describes the long road from uncertainty back to self-confidence. It emphasizes the unrest that seizes her again and again, the thought: “Why can’t I just let it go?” These contradicting thoughts and emotions that are so familiar to all of us sum up to an overwhelmingly positive effect - 'Vertigo' leaves you empowered rather than anxious: A powerful indie pop arrangement with distorted guitars, plus Alice Merton’s crystal-clear voice. The result is reminiscent of the British Invasion, with no air of self-doubt. With its energetic live qualities, 'Vertigo' feeds an appetite for summer festivals and concerts that will definitely return at some point. Largely responsible for this is the Canadian producer Koz, a multiple Grammy nominee, who has worked with Dua Lipa ('Physical') among others. Here, too, he adds on to what has already made Alice Merton stand out from the crowd in the past - her classic pop appeal - with an uncompromising and indie attitude. This enables Alice to take another big step: She equally encourages a shaken generation and herself that there will be easy summers again. That you can dance again and lie in each other's arms. That it is absolutely fine to have many facets, to not always be clear, and that strength and weakness are not mutually exclusive.

Canadian artist Olivia Lunny's new release 'Sad To See You Happy' is a shamelessly poppy track centering an acutely relatable break-up narrative. The Canadian artist follows up her breakthrough success with a bouncy cut to soundtrack 2021’s long-awaited spring. There's a relatable tale of break-up at the heart of the gloriously poppy new single, belied by percussive instrumentation that creates a warm, nostalgic feel. [via Line Of Best Fit]

After sharing the single last month, Charlotte Adigéry is now revealing the brand new video for ‘Bear With Me (and I’ll stand bare before you)’. The first new music since her 2019 debut EP Zandoli, Charlotte says of the video, “The video is about being confined thus confronted to the way we live. The cruel irony of having the privilege of standing still, questioning and observing my life in all safety while others are fighting for theirs. On the other hand, the video is about trying to stay sane while feeling that the walls are closing in on you. Embracing boredom and finding joy in the little things in life.” Director Alice Kunisue adds, “When I listened to Charlotte’s song and what it meant for her and Bolis, I wanted the video to visually encapsulate that feeling of being stuck inside and confronted to our deeper selves while paradoxically sensing the chaos going on in the outside world without being able to do anything about it. Choosing to film an apartment room from one single angle was a way to reflect that narrowness of thought that we all experienced, but also a constraint that allowed us to explore and develop visual ideas within a narrow system, in a way having to think only inside the box, which artistically was a fun challenge.” [via DIY]

Millie Turner has shared a video for ‘Concrete Tragedy’. It’s a cut from her upcoming mini-album Eye Of The Storm, set for release on May 16, which also features a rework of breakout song ‘(Breathe) Underwater’. “This video is a visual representation of dancing on your own,” she says of the clip. “Combining the many parts of who we are when we’re by ourselves, I wanted it to feel like you’re entering a world of imagination that comes alive when we express ourselves.” [via Dork]

Doja Cat and SZA have come together for a new single called 'Kiss Me More.' When the song was announced Wednesday night, the internet flipped out, which is to be expected with these two — especially Doja Cat, who is regularly going viral these days for all kinds of reasons. When it comes to collaborations, she always finds the best people. That includes Saweetie, who appeared on Doja’s recent 'Best Friend' but then claimed that it was released against her wishes. Given SZA’s long history of public frustration over TDE Records holding back her new album, she is probably happy to have any new music out. Despite recent single 'Good Days' hitting the top 10, her restless fanbase is still awaiting a follow-up to 2017’s iconic Ctrl. 'Kiss Me More' is the first single from Doja’s new album Planet Her, scheduled for release this summer. It returns to the disco vibes of Doja’s #1 hit 'Say So,' this time with no apparent resemblance to any Skylar Spence song. [via Stereogum]

[rainstormcolors]

Seto!!!

favorite thing about them

He’s complex and human in his flaws and feelings.

He can’t magically fix himself but he tries and he fails and he tries again, and he’s stumbling down a path and he doesn’t understand what he wants but there’s something brighter at the end of this path.

I think there’s a part of him that’s afraid of himself. And he doesn’t recognize how much loneliness has engulfed him.

He’s obsessed with dominating everything, reaching for control because there’s so much he can’t control and couldn’t control, but he’s not happy.

I think the real secret of his duels with Atem is he was looking for a human connection, and it’s like he wasn’t even aware of just how achingly alone he felt but those duels made him feel alive.

least favorite thing about them

IDK. I’ll state a change instead: I’d add Seto trembling and sweating at Death-T.

favorite line

“For him,” catapulted to about the top of the list for me if I’m honest.

“Everyone has something they believe in, even deeper than believing in gods. All I did was trust that,” is iconic of course. It’s relevant at Duelist Kingdom (Mokuba), relevant at Battle City (his BEWD), and relevant in DSoD (Atem). Perhaps he’s also learning to believe in himself through all this.

brOTP

Seto’s relationship with Mokuba is complex. He loves Mokuba, he’s not able to be the parent Mokuba deserves, Mokuba is the more emotionally mature brother in ways, they cling to each other. There’s codependence. Mokuba may have kept Seto alive, kept him going, but it was such a harsh ugly life to go through. When Seto fell into his darkest place, Mokuba became a point of light to stumble back to. There’s a lot to cherish and a lot to unpack. It’s going to depend who’s reading into their bond as well.

Seto’s relationship with Atem is complex. It was a storm between two dark damaged teenagers lashing out that become them pulling each other towards something brighter. They understood each other and connected through dueling in a way special to them, in a way others couldn’t understand. (I can connect to that notion of having a special vector of bonding.) It also became codependent, and at times self-harming. It is a very complex bond. But Atem called Seto his equal and a friend. Seto learned to open himself to friendship because of Atem.

I want Yugi and Seto to become friends as well. Yugi’s so sweet and patient, and I think he admired how goal-oriented and headstrong Seto was.

I like his interactions with Isis in canon a lot too.

OTP

Pride and Rival are my most beloved ships. Trust comes in third place.

nOTP

Adopt and Tabloid are squicks. There are some ships that can be uphill battles for me, but I’m pretty open. How ships are framed really varies.

random headcanon

While he stays at his step-father’s manor, seeing it as his trophy, the library and a few other rooms are locked and sealed off entirely.

He doesn’t allow himself to put sugar or cream in his coffee, because he stupidly sees drinking straight coffee as more adult and mature.

unpopular opinion

If I’m honest, HCs about Seto befriending all the Yugi group alienate me. I don’t think he harbors the capacity to balance or tolerate too many social relationships, but it’d be my hope for him to build one or two meaningful friendships. I say this as someone who has a lot of trouble with connections myself, so seeing a character who also struggles suddenly being super social feels like I’m watching them fly upon the back of a unicorn. But this is just for me; please enjoy the HCs you want.

I think the Kaiba brothers deeply and sincerely love each other, but there’s a degree of resentment and the fear of being resented mixed into their bond. They were dragged through hell, and it wasn’t fair, and they were just kids. Seto even sabotages himself in canon a few times. They have a lot of healing to do.

song i associate with them

I have a few.

The Last Day by Moby is superb for Seto as he transitions between the early manga and Duelist Kingdom. TBH, it may be an even more perfect song for Noa Kaiba, but Noa Kaiba is in-canon meta on early manga Kaiba. But it’s a song about breaking beauty just to stay awake, and their hearts are like storms, but after their work is done they finally discover the sun: they finally discover Mokuba.

Undisclosed Desires by Muse is a wonderful Prideshipping song.

Lose You by Peaches is a melancholy Prideshipping song from Seto’s perspective.

Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine is a DSoD song.

favorite picture of them

I still like my banner quite a lot. 殻利藻 does fantastic art of Kaiba on Twitter and Pixiv, capturing his stormy vulnerability with the most raw perfection I’ve seen.

This expression still gets me too:

Thank you for the ask!

[glapplebloom]

On August 15, I got to see There She Is: Another Step and got my hands on the Henry Stickmin Collection. Wanna talk about the both of them.

There She Is: Another Step

The “There She Is” Series focused on Doki (the Rabbit Girl) and Nabi (the Cat Boy) and how they got into a relationship. It started out reluctantly but overtime Nabi began to fall for her. After a misstep in Part 4, it ends happily for the couple in Part 5. And the two cops you see above are reacting to Another Step’s Opening: the Aftermath from the Jjintta Set side of the story.

Every wondered why they look so different from the other rabbits? Its because they aren’t just rabbits. Their father was a Lion and their mother was a Rabbit, so they’re hybrids. Il-Ho (the Leader) suffered as a kid because he was different. So he’s trying to protect Doki from making a mistake she can’t take back. This causes a rift between the brothers as Yi-ho (Eye Patch) goes VERY EXTREME in his support for Pro-Cat/Rabbit Relationships.

So Extreme, he creates a literal army to round up and capture the Anti-Cat/Rabbit People. His girlfriend (the Female Cat with as far as I know no name) doesn’t think its cool so she teams up with Il-Ho and Sam-Ho (Medical Mask) to stop it. While its not as good as the Final Step, its still a great piece of animation with some impressive action, a pretty cool song and a strong message. I am so glad I supported this on Indiegogo and I’ll definitely do so again if he aims to do another step.

The Henry Stickmin Collection

If you have been on the Internet, you should have at least seen a Let’s Play of the “BLANK the BLANK” Series now officially called the Henry Stickmin Collection. He not only remastered his previous games, he created a new Final Chapter just as long as the other games combined. Because in that Final Chapter, you get to decide how the previous games played out.

Of course, that depends if you got all the endings in Infiltrating the Airship and Fleeing the Complex. That’s right, Completing the Mission has 15 different story lines depending on the ending you choose. Would you be the Leader of the Top Hats but abandon Ellie? Stole the Ruby from the Top Hats and desire to get all their remaining loot? Or create the greatest Trio between Henry, Ellie and Charles? There are 16 endings, 164 failures, and a hidden remake of an even older Stick Game he made inside.

I highly recommend getting this game and playing it blind. Seeing others react to it isn’t the same as experiencing it for yourself. And after you get all the Fails and Endings, plenty of stuff to do from getting the Bios of everyone to finding the Achievements. Though I will tell you now don’t do what I did and do it all in one day. 

[machinequeen4]

Fic rec bingo list!

I thought I’d fill out this fic rec bingo card, posted by @lightveils on Twitter!

It sort of turned into the History of MachineQueen in Fanfiction. All you unsung heroes who write and publish fanfic, I love you and remember your names.

Recs for Fire Emblem Fates, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Yu-gi-oh, Doctor Who, RWBY, Ace Attorney, Tales of Graces follow!

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material

Undone - codenamecynic, Dragon Age II, E rated, Fenris/Female Hawke, multichap 135k words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/482156/chapters/838851

I know nothing about Dragon Age and can’t remember why I decided to read it. TV Tropes maybe?  From what I can tell it’s the events of the game with additional sex scenes. Hawke is witty, Fenris is a tragic broken bird, I was sold.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does

Trial and Error - undieshogun, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Subaki/Takumi, multichap 15k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890677/chapters/15719992

Not so much a premise but a ship I wasn’t convinced on. But it had Subaki in it so I gave it a try. It’s really cute - Subaki tries to teach Takumi social skills, much to his annoyance. 

This line alone is gold star characterisation:

"I couldn't tell you why Tsubaki has taken such a liking to you, but I do know that any time he wants to befriend someone, it's because he sees in them something he lacks."

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Gratitude - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344273/chapters/48239686

The writing style is so beautifully layered that I find new meaning every time I read it. The scene where Ferdinand offers a hairpin for each story Hubert tells is gorgeous, one of my favourites to reread. 

4. A fic you still remember many years later

A Song I Think I Heard Before - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, Mai/Jounouchi (Joey), multichap 40k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5924028/1/A_Song_I_Think_I_Heard_Before

My favourite Mai fic. This gives her a backstory with Dartz based villainy and recontextualises her relationship with Jou (Joey in the dub, most YGO authors used the JP names to distance themselves from 4Kids’ added cheese). I was on tenterhooks waiting for each new chapter. It’s got real emotional depth, capturing Mai’s cynical nature perfectly. Also I still think about/use the phrase bumblefuck in the morning. 

5. A comfort fic

just a little stuck on you (you’ll be on me too) - flowermoons, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, one chap 33k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875707

This brings the cast of FE3H to the modern world and drops them into reality TV show The X Factor. There’s no war or death angst, just a singing contest. I grew up with The X Factor on TV on a Saturday night so this was a delight. Like me, the author is cynical about reality TV which makes the fic even more engaging. Ferdinand mourning his long hair after he cuts it and Hubert running round London looking for him really made my day. 

6. A catharthic fic

Long and Lost - Windian, Tales of Graces, M rated, Richard/Asbel, multichap 36k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5357546/chapters/12372899

Listen game, you can’t spend 40 hours having the protagonist’s motivation as ‘save Richard’ and then pull a no homo on me! In this fic Asbel dutifully marries Cheria only for the whole thing to collapse in on itself when he realises he’s in love with Richard after all. The snow storm scene is something I’ll always remember.

7. A fic you’d like to print and put on your bookshelf

Revival series - MyAibou, Yu-gi-oh,  T rated, multiship, many k

http://fanfiction.net/s/2681684/1/Revival-Prologue-Paradox

This is split into multiple parts and has another multipart followup. A continuation of Yu-gi-oh Duel Monsters with shipping and very decent original characters including villains. My polarshipping heart is in love with this scene on the clifftop in part 2 chapter 11 - a slow dance to the sound of the waves to help Mai remember she isn’t alone *melts into a puddle*

8. A fic you associate with a song

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - darkrunner, Yu-gi-oh, rated K+, Mai/Jou, multichap 9k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4445992/1/Who-I-Am-Hates-Who-I-ve-Been

It’s titled after a song. This was one of the first fics I ever found, read and loved. I was way too shy to review but I loved this author dearly. Good old angst & hurt/comfort with a happy ending. A happy ending for Mai was all I wanted haha!

9. A fic that inspires you

Patience, Ponies and Pastries - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap, 27k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722859/chapters/49231019

A shipping fic where the two characters being shipped spend most of the fic apart! This author is so good at characterising the pair, there are treasures hidden throughout. I never thought reading about horses of all things could make me so emotional... 

And this passage from Ferdinand’s point of view:

As long as Hubert did not truly reject such affection, did not throw him in the stocks for his bleeding heart, then he did not require reciprocation. He required that Hubert be cherished, and that was that.

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Marik and Bakura Go To Censored Town - Little Kuriboh, Yu-gi-oh, M rated, multichap, 24k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6954805/1/Marik-Bakura-Go-To-Censored-Town

I spent most of my Yu-gi-oh fandom life wishing there were more fics about Mai and tended to avoid the big slash ships. However, Yu-gi-oh Abridged’s strongest pair were always Marik and Bakura. When I read this fic I realised yes, Marik being an idiot and Bakura being the straight man (not literally) makes this ship sing.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

Denial & Deception - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap, 74k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895731/chapters/49671050

The setting of Derdriu is so lushly described that it would make a wonderful movie setting. Additional points for the masked ball chapters! 

Hubert and Ferdinand infiltrate the Leicester Alliance using a fake relationship. It goes as well as you might expect. There is comedy, there is romance and the whole thing makes you want to smack Hubert round the face with a fish. 

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Past Future Continuous - HermitsUnited, Doctor Who, T rated, multichap 20k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4917490/1/Past-Future-Continuous

We are not in contact anymore but we shared a love of Donna Noble. This shines through in all her alternate season 5 fics! 

13. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL

Festering Under Your Skin - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap 52k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465312/chapters/48559553

My poor gf had to put up with me going on about this one. Lady Edelgard is dead and Ferdinand is a Blue Lion who spares Hubert. All of this is played for maximum dramatic potential. Special marks for the scene where Ferdinand accidentally poisons himself with Hubert’s coffee. So brilliantly in character for both of them. And excellently foreshadowed earlier in the fic where an imprisoned Hubert keeps asking for his coffee... 

14. A fic you associate with a place

Heart of Defiance - battlemage15, RWBY, M rated, multichap 150k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896874/chapters/18038116

I downloaded this to my phone and read it on the top deck of the number 6 bus as it bumped along the country roads of deepest Devon. I was on my way to job interviews in the city and the trip was 2 hours long. The fic itself is a Yang centric shonen power fantasy that goes to pretty dark places. 

15. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Blood and Ink - ShowMeYourFury, RWBY, M rated, Cinder/Ruby, multichap 45k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11754595/1/Blood-and-Ink

This fic is ruthless with Cinder’s villainy. Every time you think she can’t go any further, she does. I love it. 

16. A fic you found at the right time

Forward - Lyricanna, Fire Emblem Fates, not rated, multichap, 34k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747516/chapters/29075913

I love the concept of this fic so much. Subaki is selected to be a Hoshidan ambassador in Nohr and gets lumped with Niles as a guide. Neither is having a good time. There is a plot going on involving kidnapping and asassination that forces them to work together. 

17. A fic that you would read fic of

The Obligatory Hot Spring Scene - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, oneshot, sub 1k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6368612/1/The-Obligatory-Hot-Spring-Scene

Written as though the characters are actors and canon is a TV show. I love this concept and would read more in a similar vein

18. A fic that made you laugh out loud

Surrender To Your Peace - spiralpegasus, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, Sylvain/Felix, one chap, 11k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20757260

“This is very unfortunate,” Dimitri says with a frown. “As the leader of this mission, I will take full responsibility and use the Swamp Bedroll.”

One does not simply sacrifice themselves to He Who Saw The Bottom Of The Earth And Lived with such a cavalier attitude. “You know your guilt complex doesn’t actually have to extend to sleeping in a gross swamp bag,” Sylvain tells him disbelievingly.

“I agree, Your Highness,” Dedue says, setting He Whose Stench Haunts The Dreams Of Man down on the ground with a delicate sort of distaste. “None of us need use this… bedroll.” He says bedroll the same way he says food when it’s Flayn’s turn to cook.

19. A fic with a line or two you’ve memorised by heart

one sentiment enlightens to another - newamsterdam, Fire Emblem Three Houses, G rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, oneshot 6k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074840

Ferdinand rolls his eyes. “Of course I do, Hubert. I remember very well. I just— well. Perhaps I’ve overestimated you.”

Hubert, who has spent the better part of the past few weeks believing he constantly underestimates Ferdinand, bristles.

Not the exact lines but I always keep this in mind when writing the ship. I think these hit on the fundamental misunderstanding between the two characters. Hubert is only human, not some all powerful hero/villain. And Ferdinand isn’t stupid just because he’s honest and emotional. I think the two of them have trouble getting their heads round these concepts!

20. A fic that gave you butterflies

Ataraxia - Windian, Tales of Graces, T rated, Cheria/Pascal, 13k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7828981/chapters/17871247

"I want you," Cheria tells her, and the night catches like a rubber band. Her hands are in Pascal's hair, Pascal's arms around hers, her mouth on hers. Their kisses are sloppy and messy, noses knocking against one another, but it's everything and it's nothing at all like kissing Asbel.

When they break for air, Pascal tells her, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this, Cheria."

Cheria asks, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I dunno Cheria, because you were gonna marry Asbel, maybe?"

It stops her in her tracks. Voice low, she asks, "What am I going to tell him?"

Pascal cups either side of her face. Kisses her, so hot and hard that Cheria's left seeing stars, clinging at the strings of Pascal's swimsuit like a shipwrecked sailor to a spar.

"Screw it. Think about it in the morning. For once in your life, do something you want."

21. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The Truth About Love - MistressAkira, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Niles/Subaki, 2k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036081

This fic is experimental in style - the author descrbes it as a soliloquy. The sentiment I take from it is that love is compromising, inconvenient, illogical. Yet it’s still something beautiful and something worth fighting for.

22. A favourite AU

Mobius - SirTeateiMoonlight, Xenoblade Chronicles, T rated, multichap, 17k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845748/chapters/42111473

Melia finds a copy of Xenoblade, plays it and knows exactly what’s going on in the story. She uses this knowledge to her advantage. It’s a slippery slope. By the end of the story she’s mercilessly torturing Lorothia against her brother’s wishes. 

23. A fic you’ve stayed up late to finish reading

Dirty Sympathy - ideny, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, M rated, Klavier/Apollo, 130k on AO3 not sure on kink meme

https://bludhavens.livejournal.com/88397.html?thread=41790541#t41790541

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075868/chapters/2160789

I stayed up reading this until 4am and for some reason (probably tiredness) confessed this to my not-yet-gf. She cites this as one of the moments she fell for me!

It’s a dark fic in which Klavier and Apollo are both in abusive relationships with villains. They concoct a plot to implicate the two of them in criminal activities to escape and fall for each other along the way. 

24. A fic that made you feel seen

i knew you were trouble - Magepaw, Fire Emblem Fates, M rated, Niles/Subaki, 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19314568

First of all the title is one of my favourite songs. Second of all the dialogue is everything I want from the Niles/Subaki ship. Third Subaki’s pegasus makes her presence known. Fourth there is a gory battle scene and hurt/comfort gone wrong. And fifth, a happy ending. 

Niles had to turn away, hand pressed to his mouth, before his own blush betrayed him. This was too good to last. This had to be the most embarrassingly vulnerable moment of his entire life, and of course the entirety of the Nohrian and Hoshidan military combined had to be there to see Niles go soft. 

[mailoveforu]

More Vocaloid Ikemen Stuff Cause Yes

[Reposting since it didn’t show up in my home feed or the tags hhhh]

[Tumblr please work （；＿；）]

Okay but Cantarella fits Lancelot super well?? BUT IT ALSO FITS EDGAR AS WELL?? Actually the song FITS THE ENTIRE RED ARMY

RED ARMY X MC, YES?? I’M DOWN-

And then imagine Loki singing ‘It’s a Wonderful Cat Life’ to MC nJALIJAO

AND THEN MC QUIETLY SINGING ‘LOVE IS WAR’ TO HERSELF

OR ROMEO AND CINDERELLA

Imagine Edgar forcing Zero to wear panda costumes to sing and dance to 1 2 Fanclub lmao that’s adorable

Ooohh, and then Ray and Fenrir with World Domination How-To! They were both bullied in school, right-? It would make sense-

Actually no, maybe that song would fit more with Lancelot, Harr, and Sirius

Another song that fits the three of them is The Immoral Memory!

Lancelot x MC or Hideyoshi x MC with the song Corrupted Flower! :00

And of course, you can’t forget the classic Alice Human Sacrifice ;D Hhhh I wanna draw that now-

Ranamru or Zero/Edgar with Lost One’s Weeping, aaa my poor boys ;-;

Ooh ooh, Yukimura x Sasuke x MC with First Love Academy! Or Edgar and Luka and MC!

SHINGEN X MC WITH SEASONAL FEATHERS, AKUNISIKL MY FEELS

Maybe the IkeVamp and/or IkeRev MC can be singing 1925....Hmm 🤔

I wanna use Judgement of Corruption too! I was thinking maybe Amon? A corrupted Jonah? Claudius?

Crescent Moon with one of the IkeSen boys! ( *｀ω´) Or IkeRev too, since it’s talking about the moon and all

World’s End Dancehall with Motonari? Maybe?? With Kennyo too???

A dorky IkeSen scenario with At God’s Mercy lololol

Oh dear, Kenshin with True Love Restraint...Or Shakespeare with Rotten Girl Grotesque Romance-

Harr singing Antichlorobenzene while Loki sings Paradichlorobenzene! Or vice versa- The lyrics even fit their personalities, I believe owo

ELECTRIC ANGEL WITH THE VAN GOGH BROTHERS

The Clemence Brothers with Karakuri Burst! And Re: Birthed! Ya know, an AU where they were seperated at birth, joining different armies...They meet on the battlefield. The two of them hate each other, yet they feel a sense of familiarity when looking at each other. Why? It’s not until they clash swords that they finally realize....

......

I somehow found a way to make their relationship more sadder-

And to make things even more sadder, the Clemence brothers with a Story of Evil AU, including Regret Message-//slapped

aNyWaY

Seductive Harr with masked bitcH??

BLANC AND OLIVER SINGING MATRYOSHKA, I REPEAT, BLANC AND OLIVER SINGING MATRYOSHKA

Speaking of which, maybe a cheery Neutral Citizens scenario where Harr is no longer an outlaw, and to celebrate, Blanc made a ‘welcome back’ party for Harr and Loki and they (along with Oliver) go around Cradle enjoying everything ♪( ´▽｀) And he also receives presents from literally every and all Cradle citizens and then it goes to a disaster- Based on Drop Pop Candy

Ray, Fenrir, and Seth messing around while Triple Baka plays in the bacground, i m a g i n e. BAKA BAKA BAKA-//slapped

Echo playing during finales! :0 Uesagi-Takeda forces joining with the Oda forces against Motonari and Kennyo, Red and Black Army along with the neutrals going against Amon, etc!

Maybe I could write a songfic based on the song Hibikase where the characters become self aware that they’re in a otome game...🤔 And then it’ll be super fluffy but angsty-

Mitsunari and Ieyasu with Eye Examination? They both struggle to understand each other, in their own way-

HORROR SIRIUS AU WITH FEAR GARDEN *^* (Gore and possible eyestrain warning for the video)

*insert an angry Mozart playing fuck it*

Amon with Outer Science huehuehue fOR THE EVILZ

Ieyasu or Kenshin x MC with Toumei Answer! Aaa, there goes my feels ;w; I miss Kagerou Project asbahsnji

Kenshin or Nobunaga with Undead Enemy??

Sasuke x AI MC or Kyle x Doll MC singing Kokoro!.....Aaaa wait, no that’ll be too much for my heart-

Fenrir with Super Hero!

Ooohh! How about an AU where MC is a high authority figure, obsessed with justice, trying to capture one of the suitors since they’ve been seducing too many girls and leaving them broken-hearted afterwards? But then she herself falls for him? Based on Persecution Complex Cellphone Girl

Hmm, just imagine the s m u t and fight for d O M I N A N C E-//slapped

Then there’s Donut Hole which...Fits literally everyone in the entire Ikemen series ._.

And then some smut with the song Spice...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yobanashi Deceive fits Edgar and Ranmaru pretty well too!

I have the urge to write songfics and draw for all of these ideas, and because of that I am now wondering if I am mentally okay

Feel free to use these as writing or drawing prompt ideas! Though I doubt anyone will-

Edit: I FORGOT CHILDISH WAR FOR THE RED AND BLACK ARMIES I’M SO SORRY SSNISIJNSOINXOIOSNIPAMOPA