#the yearning is so strong today
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oh to be fucked out but still stretched on their cock, drowned in kisses n held tight
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i’m having a very tough time today i want satoru SOOOO bad idk what to do with myself
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thinking about sucking the gum art is always chewing out of his mouth. you’ve seen him spit it out into patrick’s hand before practices, into tashi’s before big games, but there’s a part of you that’s always nagging for more.
you and art have always been the most intense out of the four of you, like if you weren’t stopped you’d eat each other given the chance. you both have this deep seated need for possession and love that makes you insatiable. patrick and tashi keep up with you well, but have to set rules to corral the two of you and keep you from going too many rounds while they’re gone. sometimes they’re too late and they find you passed out in a heap of limbs on the bed, art still inside you, your bodies covered in a sheen of sweat, bodily fluids, and a smattering of bruises sucked into your skin. they complain as they pry you off each other and clean you up, but secretly find it adorable when you’re curled up together like exhausted puppies.
the gum habit is just another way you seek closeness. the first time it happens art doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. you lick the inside of his mouth and revel in the minty taste. he pushes his tongue against yours and whimpers, getting lost in the kiss. you suck on his tongue gently and with that motion his gum passes his lips and slides into your mouth. when you pull back, he sees you chewing on it and his eyes widen at the little smirk you give him. he has to adjust himself and will his dick to go down on his way out to the court. from then on, it becomes a natural ritual.
patrick jokes that eventually you’ll just crawl into art’s ribcage and live there. you tell him you’d do the same to him if he’d let you. he reminds you of that when he spits in your mouth later that night.
tashi is less into the sharing of spit and gum, but she understands that these are acts of devotion. she knows you well enough to know that when you take her fingers in your mouth and your eyes glaze over its the same as chewing arts gum and swallowing patrick’s spit. you need to feel close. to feel like they’re part of you in a physical way as well as emotional.
and who are any of them to deny you of that?
#this got softer than i expected#the yearning is strong today#need to be crushed between the three of them#art donaldson x reader#patrick zweig x reader#tashi duncan x reader#u ever love someone so much u need to swallow their spit#fawn writes 🎀
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Soap gives out small touches like it's Christmas everyday, he's always bumping into to ghost somehow. He never pushes it too far, mindful of ghost's comfort level, but he gives his pats of affection often. From what he can tell, ghost enjoys it too.
Soap loves physical touch as affection, especially casual affection. Unfortunately, ghost doesn't return physical contact very often, though soap never holds that against him. It just means the moments that he does return affection, soap holds it that much closer to his heart.
One of the most common ways Ghost will return the casual touch is as a light hand on Soap's back, lightly pushing him in the direction they need to go. Soap wishes he could sear that feeling into his skin forever, sometimes he hesitates moving just to feel it for a bit longer. He thinks about the warmth and the pressure of that hand on his back, knowing he would trust ghost to lead him if he had lost all his senses but touch.
So yeah, Soap is content to take what he can get, and give out all that he can give. When it comes to Ghost, Soap would do anything.
#i was thinking a lot abt just. an encouraging hand on my back today#and i wrote like 3 things about it#the yearning so strong i WRITE POETRY AND PROJECT ONTO 2 CHARACTERS.#also i just think soap would specifically like the feeling of touches on his back#casual intamcy and trust n all that stuff#ghostsoap#soapghost#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#cod#mw2#ghoap
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I like rainy days, but what I don’t like are humid grey muggy days that aren’t really much in the way of days at all. Bleh.
#doesn’t help that I’ve got an awful feeling in my chest today#well this afternoon really#but still it sucks I don’t like days like this#rambles from the floor#delete later#the yearning is strong today! haha!!!#I’ve got a complicated relationship with wanting things but is it stupid to want something so badly your chest hurts#I don’t know. whatever.#ha I’m doing that thing where I don’t shut up in the tags again it’s like that post I reblogged the other day#overly personal and conplainy#per usual
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#my new little stash bag im sooo happy with it its adorable#two little bears who love eachother so much and also keep my weed safe#also pictured are a little conjoined twin flower buds i found at the park (i pressed it in my iwtv book)#and a valeriana mood board#todays been stressy#dealin with kids who just wont do chores so im picking up the slack#working on dishes right now#gonna lay down once im done#:p#ready to go to sleep#the yearnings been strong today#pavi talking
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Hgggg
Had one of those sundays where i felt just like
A little bit like shit all day
So i didn't really get any of my comic work done and it just kinda became a Lost Day
So now as consequence my brain won't let me go to bed because i did not Satisfy the Requirements as Set Beforehand
But i would like to actually set myself up for a successful week of going to bed on timebl because i haven't the last two weeks and i can Feel it slowly destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically
But sometimes there js Naught you can do in the face of Wanton Mental Illness
#monster noises#i know i know my meteric for a successful day should not be tied to Productivity#but in my Defense that isn't Exactly what's happened here#i mean#yeah#i'm dissapointed that i didn't get the ball rolling until like 8pm and thus only had an hour to Work#but going to bed issue#is more about me setting the Plan and Expectation that I would do Comic Work today#but i didn't Fulfill that Expectation and therefore the Balance is Off and the Days Not Done#because we haven't Fulfilled the Criteria#i would have this same probelm if I had set aside today as a Relax Day but spent the whole day Stressing Out or Doing Chores/Work#without doing the classic half-day reset#where sometimes i'm In Control enough to realize when the day has gotten away from me and Pivot the Expectations to Just Chilling#then at the end of the day i Have met my Expectations and can just Siddle into bed no issues#but today i was not that Strong Willed#and kept Insisting that i Would get to my comic writing#Just After This Last Thing#but there was always One More Thing#and i felt like i was trapped under a sheet of plexiglass and couldn't fully wake up all day#so there was no pivot#i just stayed Stubborn until i had my dinner - then wrote maybe one page#and put it down for the evening#and that was not enough to satisfy the internal control team#and now i must sit here and Yearn instead of going to Sleep#it is Silly and i wish for it Not to be Happening
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I wanna pick up a girl and pin her against a wall and give her lots of lil smooches while we giggle like the little gay goblin gremlins that we are
#thoughts#oni talks#sapphic yearning#oni has a crush#not really targeted but idk I wish I was buff so bad bro#the lesbian short person madness is getting to me I think#I want to bridal carry the love of my life plz thank#why workout why no just be buff lesbian already :(#also to be able to do those dramatic ass romantic dips during dancing#want the gorl to know I am stronq reliable and will never drop her (unless she wants me to in a safe manner)#this is why I fucking love water I get to be as buff as I want I can carry gorl no problem I can carry anybody in water I can be buff as fuc#I do also wish my arms were bigger so I could more effectively wrap them around people sometimes but that’s separate#maybe it’s just coz I had more alcohol than normal today but the YEARNING IS GETTING TO ME YALL#I wanna write lesbian music again so bad I wanna shoot gay little music videos with my paramour#sleeby bedtime where we read each other sapphic stories as they fall asleep in my lap or give versa or smth#but also girls in lap!!!! so perfect 1000/10 also just I wanna be buff so baddddddd#ship dynamics#idk if it counts but I feel like someone could make ship art with these ideas so sure#I wanna be good at dancing so I can be like a little lesbian doing the rose thing in the most dramatically gay way possible#I’m gonna be a Gay lil cowboy tomorrow for pride and the urge to dramatically tip my hat in lesbian is gonna be so strong
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feeling all over the place this past week
#gitta txt#haven't been able to play DAV because my pc is dying and i have to wait for new parts and my bf to put it together#so i've been trying to resist the urge to replay DAI...#but NOW. TODAY. woke up with a yearning to replay rdr2...#arthur morgan..... i miss him....#but i have to hold strong and just wait till i can play DAV bc i CANNOT start all these massive games at once#and then the rise of the golden idol comes out next tues and i'm ahhhh feel like i'm drowning myself in options and indecision
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g....guys who are.......taller......taller than me.......
#this is not hard btw im 5'4 so it is not hard to be taller than me#idk guys with muscle r just <333 ur tall and strong??? huh???? lucky bastard KJGHJKSHGJSK#'nicky just start working out' IM TRYING OKAYKJGHSKJGH#im feelin so much better today so ur just getting every thought that happens in my head now#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#mlm thoughts#t4t#trans mlm#mlm blog#t4t yearning
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Currently just thinking about how cute Davy Jones' snoring sounds💖💖💖
#I just watched the scene again where Will steals the key from him#and he's so adorable when he sleeps🥺#I want to hold him in my arms while he's asleep and just listen to his breath and his little snores#and if he has a bad dream - which probably isn't a rare occurrence for my poor man :c -#I'd kiss him on the forehead and pat his back to let him know I'm here for him and it's going to be alright#the yearning is strong today apparently#but I just want him to know that he's loved <3#f/o: 🐙#davy jones#pirates of the caribbean#self ship#self shipping#self ship thoughts#f/o thoughts
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ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever
#blaire.txt#vent incoming sorry ik this is probably really annoying#and im also sorry if this comes off insensitive or ''i have it SO hard'' i dont mean to be like that#but just. no matter how my identity rolls out i always feel like an imposter in some way#when i ided as a lesbian i already knew i was nonbinary and despite my yearning to experience it; i never knew and will never experience#being a lesbian and a binary woman. and ofc when i ided as a nonbinary lesbian was during that whole bullshit ''nonbinary people cant be#lesbians'' debate that resurfaced so that didnt fucking help#but im not a lesbian im bi so that was easy i guess. or easier#not being binary or very knowledgeable on queer history (tbh i want to change this im not proud of that) and having not participated in#many pride events and queer spaces irl (due to uh. yunno. Covid lol)#has like really made me feel like an imposter that just doesnt fit in anywhere#and now coming to terms with me being transmasc and having a strong attraction towards men and nonbinary folks has really uh. shaken things#up#and not fully in a good way bc its left me scrambling to put together the pieces#its left me in sooooooooooooo much distress i feel like so sick over it#its. not fun. esp bc im still pre-op so very girlish in appearance and voice eugh#and on top of that im also still nonbinary and do feel more neutral/androgynous some days and also consider myself gnc bc i like feminine#clothes and stuff so like. AUGH! and im also fucking 5'1-2 so no matter if i bind or get top surgery or etc i dont think ill ever pass as#not a girl so . pain!#and even saying all that makes me feel guilty bc its like. is that just internalized misogyny? am i misogynistic for feeling this way? and#IK IN MY RATIONAL MIND THATS BULLSHIT AND THIS IS *ONLY* ABT ME NOT OTHER TRANSMASCS AND NBLMS/MLMS TO BE CLEAR#im just an anxious mess with ocd and anxiety in general that just loooooooooooves latching onto bullshit like this to prove im predatory or#weird. also other ocd themes dont fucking help?#idk ill shut up now i need to be on a call but just like. its painful bc i dont feel like i fit into any queer communities lol#this also applies to disability stuff but im NOT cracking that can of worms open today sorry#ok gopdbye for now . responses are ok btw but also no pressure im kinda just emptying my head lol#vent#rant#ask to tag
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it's been a few nights that i've found myself listening to audios and i've just...been falling asleep during them probably cause i've been tired af (but i can't fall asleep that easily usually) and these guys have the most soothing voices ever 😩
#something is telling me that if i had a boyfriend my sleeping schedule would be amazing#the yearning is strong today#in my feels today#i just need cuddles/somebody to snuggle with/and that will talk to me about random stuff so i can fall asleep in 2 secs flat#personal
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Gods,,, I have a Pathfinder session in a few hours, but I haven't slept, and I want nothing more right now than to snuggle with my girlfriends under a warm blankie and go the fuck to sleep.
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Chat I want saku to lay his head in the crook of my neck n start murmuring random stuff to me
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i need someone to cuddle with me while i take a nap right now
#i am so sleepy and so desperate for affection it’s honestly embarrassing#the yearning is strong today
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