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kindahoping4forever · 4 years ago

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Wanna Know That Body Like It’s Mine // Calum Hood

@cal-puddies and I once again cannot thank you all enough for clowning with us during another Hoe Hours weekend! If you haven’t yet, be sure and check out Cass’s Cal fic from yesterday (I Love The Sound, I Love The Taste) and my Ash fic (Fight So Dirty) that kicked off the event. (In addition to the bonus Cal blurb - What’s Mine Is Yours - we couldn’t help but co-write because again, we’re clowns.)

We’ve been hyped on this piece for a while - it was requested by an anon (and specifically requested we co-write, which warmed our hearts) about a month ago and while there were stops and starts, we’ve basically been working on it ever since (I swear Cass had sent me a shared doc within seconds of me sharing the request lol). We can’t wait to hear what you think so please blow up both of our inboxes!

Warnings: Boyfriend!Cal. So much smut but an equal amount of feelings. Unprotected sex in an established relationship, oral and manual stimulation of both a male and a female, semi-public sexual encounter, sex toys, rimming, pegging.

Word Count: 11,384

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist // Hoe Hours Masterlist

Crystal: Taglist // Ko-Fi Cass: Taglist // Ko-Fi

Let us know what you think!

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“Hey babe!” Calum calls out, letting himself in to your apartment.

He’s greeted by a fit of giggles followed by an apologetic “Sorry, Cal, we’re almost done.”

“That’s OK, pretty girl, I’m early.” He walks by the living room, offering a quick ‘hey’ to you and the friend you’re visiting with and then helps himself to your kitchen. He gets himself some water and finds something to munch on, leaning against the counter and absentmindedly scrolls his phone while he waits.

He respects your privacy so he does his best to tune out what he can hear of your conversation but he can’t help the way his ears perk up when he hears your friend use the term “pegging.” He can’t hear much beyond that and he makes a note to ask you about it later.

She leaves shortly after and you pop your head into the kitchen on your way to change into your date night outfit. “Ready in 10,” you announce.

“No rush, baby, take all the time you need,” he reassures you, still scrolling his phone.

You sidle up next to him. “Of course you say that, you’re in here spoiling your dinner,” you tease, dipping your hand into the box of crackers he’d selected and shoveling a few into your mouth.

He takes a breath to defend himself but is stopped when you slide a few crackers into his open mouth; he chuckles and presses a crummy kiss to your lips and swats at you as you leave the room.

Date night is a success: you and Calum treat yourselves to a great dinner and even greater sex. You’re cuddling in bed afterwards, talking about whatever comes to mind. There’s a brief lull in the conversation and then he asks you how your afternoon visit went.

“Oh, it was entertaining as always, you know she’s always got a story,” you laugh.

“Sounded like, you girls were really getting into it when I showed up,” he teases, kissing the top of your head as you lay on his chest. He waits a beat then continues, “Did I overhear something about pegging? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I was digging through the fridge and that’s the type of thing that kinda grabs the attention.”

You nod and smile against his skin. “Yeah, she was saying they’d been talking about it for a while and then he whisked her away on this big trip for her birthday last month, surprised her with all the gear and they finally did it.”

His curiosity is piqued so after about 30 seconds, when it seems like you’re not going to continue the conversation, he boldly presses, “And?”

Unfazed, you reply, “And? They loved it. Said it made her feel powerful, he came harder than she’d ever seen. Super hot, brought them closer together, all that stuff.”

“Huh,” Calum comments noncommittally. There’s another short hanging silence and then he asks, “You ever thought about that?”

“Pegging? Um... you know, it’s not really something that’s crossed my mind.” You kinda shrug and turn your head up to look at his face. “Is it something you want me to think about?”

“Maybe… I don’t know,” he ponders out loud. “I don’t think I’d be opposed... I mean, you let me do that to you.”

“Well, it was a lot of work to get me to be able to take you that way,” you remind him.

“And I think it was worth it. And you don’t seem to complain about it,” he playfully argues.

You smirk at him, “There’s nothing to complain about. I do like it, that’s why we keep doing it.”

“You make valid points,” he grins. He watches you yawn and then kisses your nose. “Get some sleep, love.”

The subject doesn’t come up again over the next few days and you think nothing of it when you receive a text from Cal asking if you want to visit the sex shop. You both enjoy incorporating toys into your sex regularly and you hadn’t treated yourselves in a while, so you respond that it’s a great idea.

You walk hand in hand into the shop and then Cal kisses your cheek and you break off to look at different things. You browse for a while and then decide to find him and see if he had anything particular in mind for this trip.

You find him in front of the wall of strap ons, harnesses and dildos and he’s looking more than a little wide-eyed.

“Hey handsome, what’d you find?” You ask, curiously peering in the direction of his eyeline.

He leans in and admits in a low voice, “After our talk the other night... I just keep thinking about it.”

“Oh... OK,” you reply, rubbing his back gently. You’re a bit surprised but immediately supportive. “So... what are we looking for?” You gesture towards the wall.

You watch as he opens his mouth a couple times to answer and then he just shuts it and walks forward, looking closer at different toys. You can immediately sense he’s overwhelmed by the choices.

You link your arm in his and press a peck to his shoulder. “I know it looks like a lot but you’ve helped me pick out toys before so you’re not totally in the dark here,” you point out. “It would just be... you know, for you this time.”

“I think that’s the intimidating part,” he comments, chewing his lip. “I don’t want to pick wrong and not enjoy it and mess up something that’s supposed to be fun for us.”

You rub his arm tenderly. “Cal, we’re talking about us, we always have fun trying things. So you don’t need to worry about that,” you say firmly, hoping your confidence will provide comfort to him. “If you want to do this, the important thing is that you’re comfortable and figuring out what you want is the first step.”

He nods and scans the wall again, taking a deep breath. “The flesh colored ones are a lot,” he says quietly. “We should get a fun color.” You smile agreeably.

“I’m not ready for balls. Just a cock,” he states, almost under his breath. You bite your lip in amusement, not wanting to discourage him.

“This is good, bubba, you’re narrowing it down,” you encourage him.

An employee sets up a ladder to the left of you to get a toy down for another couple and you see Calum’s eyes repeatedly darting over there; you’re not sure if it’s out of embarrassment at his uncertainty or curiosity in what they’ve selected.

You give him another couple minutes but he’s gone quiet and you decide to step in. “Maybe it would help if we went home and talked about it? You can look at some of my toys, feel the different textures… we can look online and filter things down?” You gently suggest. “This was a good start but it might be easier to make a decision without the pressure of being in a store.”

He exhales, you assume in relief, and puts his arm around you. “Sounds good, baby,” he agrees. You expect him to lead you out of the store but instead he walks you over to the furthest corner of the intimidating wall. “Wanted to show you this, thought it suited you for some reason.”

He points at a box containing a chic-looking red and black harness; it’s a similar style to lingerie he’s picked out for you before, with fancy lacing details over the hips and ass. Of course even when planning a sexual encounter that he’s requested, he would think of you first. You grin at him. “I love it, we should get it,” you declare.

“Yeah?” He beams excitedly, picking up the box. “It caught my eye and I couldn’t get the thought of you in it out of my mind. It says it’s adjustable for most toys and it’s crotchless.” He winks at the last part and you giggle, taking the box from him and heading to the counter.

You leave the store on a high and Cal seems really into it for a few days; next time he’s over at yours, he even asks to have a look at your toys. He feels them, wanting to understand the weight and the girth.

“I have to applaud you,” he comments, sitting on your bed, studying your collection.

“For what, bub?” You casually reply, laying on the bed, watching him.

His eyes widen as he gestures at the various shapes and sizes in front of him. “You take all of this so well… and I think about you taking my cock and… holy shit, babe, that’s not easy.”

“Well… thank you, baby,” you chuckle. “But also, we probably won’t use anything similar to your cock for you just yet,” you wink.

And then it’s forgotten. Days pass without Calum bringing it up and you don’t feel like you should, since it’s something he instigated and you don’t want to make him feel pressured.

“It’s totally fine if you’ve changed your mind on the pegging thing,” you casually say one night, sitting on the kitchen counter while he loads the dishwasher. “I just want to make sure you’re not avoiding talking to me about it because you’re afraid to.”

“Hmm?” He looks up at you. “I guess I wasn’t sure how you felt about it,” he shrugs.

“I think it’d be fucking hot, Cal, but we’re not doing it for me,” you explain. “I’m not the one who needs to make the decision here. But for the record, if you want it, I’ll be happy to do it.”

“Well then,” he smirks. “I’m about done here. Let’s go look for some toys.”

Moments later, you’re on the couch; you sit on Cal’s lap and his computer sits on yours. You pull up a couple different sites and start filtering.

“OK, so what do you think about firmness?” He gives you a questioning look in response. You smile softly. “OK so my pink one and the like, kind of clear one? Those were super soft right?” He nods. “So we’re gonna want something firmer than that. But we probably don’t want anything too hard either.”

“Right, so like a medium then?” He reaches around you to reach the touchpad, scrolling the page. “Which of these do you use?”

“Mmm, don’t have toys for my ass.” You reach down and wrap your hand around his cock through his shorts. “Only this guy and the plugs we bought.”

“Someone’s frisky,” he comments, eyes turning back to the screen.

You filter the pages, pointing out a few options, clicking across a few different sites but still haven’t removed your hand from his crotch. He lets out a loud breath through his nose. “You OK baby?” You ask sweetly.

“Yeah, I’m great. Got a pretty girl on my lap, just barely giving me a hand job through my shorts, looking at cocks to fuck me with,” he shrugs. “All while we’re sat in the living room; just a normal day.”

“Oh, if the location is an issue, we can take this to the bedroom,” you offer with a laugh.

Calum shakes his head. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You turn and look him directly in the eye. “Well, I know one way you could find out for sure,” you lilt, spreading your legs a little.

“You act like I won’t,” he teases. He sticks his hand down the front of your shorts, slicking his fingers through your folds. He pulls his hand out and lifts his fingers to his mouth. “Yeah… we’re gonna wrap this up in the bedroom,” he announces.

He leads you to the bedroom and sits up on the bed, gesturing for you to sit up against him. You fit yourself in between his legs and pull the computer into your lap. “Let’s finish this up,” you murmur, looking back at him.

He agrees and you go back to searching, though every so often you shift your hips just so to hear him gasp. He points out some choices that he likes and you go find your soft tape measure to make sure he understands the girth of the cocks he’s picking. You instruct him to measure a few of your toys but “for reference” he pulls out his own cock to measure and that gets him distracted.

You see him stroking himself out of the corner of your eye but you try to stay focused on your search, opening a few more tabs to show him. You hear the familiar hiss that means he must’ve just thumbed over the head of his cock in a very particular way and you finally have to look up at him.

“What is this, hands on research?” You joke, taking a deep breath to steady yourself at the sight.

Cal grins, closing the laptop and setting it aside. He grabs your hips to bring you face to face with him. “Think that’s enough for today,” he says deeply, nipping at your neck. “I need you.”

“I mean, it seemed like you were doing OK on your own,” you breathe as you reach for his hard cock, lightly running your fingers up the shaft.

Suddenly his mouth is on yours, kissing you with an intensity you don’t quite recognize. Melting into the kiss, your hands race his as you rid each other of your clothing and within moments you’re sitting in his lap, positioned above him, teasing his cock with your wetness.

He’s torn between wanting to whine at your teasing and wanting to tease you for being just as affected by the situation as he was so he splits the difference and moans as he grabs your hips and thrusts up into you.

You start to ride Calum at a fairly steady pace but he’s clearly determined to get you both off and get you both off fast; his hands are seemingly glued to your hips and he bounces you up and down on his cock, meeting your every movement with his own.

Neither of you say anything, letting your noises speak for you. He only lets go of you when he sees you biting your lip as you try to find the right friction; he moves one hand to grab your ass and the other he slips between your legs to find your clit.

It only takes a couple minutes from there for you both to finish in a flurry of noises. He keeps you in his lap for a moment, as you both come down. “See, pegging is already doing wonders for our sex life,” he quietly jokes, kissing your face.

The next day, you come over after work; you let yourself in and find Calum on the bed, with the websites already pulled up for you to browse together.

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” he announces as you sit next to him.

“Thinking’s good,” you chirp, kissing his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder.

“I know we didn’t find exactly what I wanted but we were only looking in the dildo section, since we already bought you that badass harness you’re gonna look so hot in,” he excitedly rambles. “SO, out of curiosity, I clicked on some of their kits and I think they could work for us.”

He clicks through a number of tabs on his browser, searching for what he wants to show you and explaining his findings to you. You’re honestly impressed by the amount of research he’s done on his own; it makes you feel good to know he’s decided to take an active role in this process, it lets you know he’s serious about it. It also makes you irredeemably horny to know he’s been sitting here alone, spending what looks like a considerable amount of time contemplating what the perfect kind of cock is for you to fuck him with. You press your legs together and try to listen to what he’s saying.

“...It comes with different sizes so that gives us some leeway on that decision - they’re all cute colors, no balls. And it says they all have the flared base so we can use our harness instead of the one it comes with,” he reports, scrolling through the website’s pictures for you to see.

He’s right; the set he’s found ticks basically every box on your shopping list. You can see why it would catch his eye: it’s equal parts arousing and unintimidating, made for a beginner like him. “Cal, this looks great,” you enthuse, reaching over to add the set to your cart. “You’re better at this than even I am, I don’t think I’ve ever picked out a toy this fast.”

“I don’t know about that,” he preens a little at your praise. “I just clicked around and once I saw this one, I started picturing you with it and… I think it’s a good choice.” His voice catches slightly and he clears it, pointing to the moderately sized royal blue dildo.

Again, your entire body feels charged thinking about Calum thinking about you, wanting you like this. You begin pressing wet kisses along his jaw and he chuckles at your eagerness. “Got a couple other things I think we should shop for, pretty girl,” he smirks, seeing you pout in his periphery.

“Oh? Let me see,” you reply, moving to snatch the computer away from him. You giggle as Cal anticipates your move and sits it beside him on the bed so he can continue searching. You sit up on your knees and continue mouthing at his jaw, neck and ears, your hands lightly moving over his chest. You take note of the way his sweatpants are beginning to tent.

“Baby,” he breathes. “I wanna show you this set of plugs… might be a good idea… we didn’t go right into having you take my cock… worked up to it.” His breathing increases every few words and you know you’ve got him when you thumb over his hardened nipple through his shirt and he shudders.

You shake your hand under his shirt to give more direct attention to his nipples while sucking on his neck. “Yeah, Cal... plugs... sounds great,” you murmur.

“What’s got you so needy today, my love?” He chuckles, grabbing the back of your head for a proper kiss.

“Something about you taking such an interest here, making an effort to get it right... I appreciate it," you mumble against his lips before pulling him in for an even deeper kiss.

“Well. Something about you taking that kind of control... seeing you strapped up and wanting me that way...” He groans. “C’mere, darlin.”

He pulls you back onto his lap; you make out hungrily and it's just as intense as the day before but not as frantic. After a few moments, your shirts are discarded and you start slightly grinding in his lap. Cal grips tight onto your hips, pulling you down a little harder.

“Have you ever experimented before?” You ask, pulling your face away from his to gauge the answer.

Getting him to share isn't always easy so you don't expect him to answer so breezily. "Always wondered what it'd be like, dipped a finger back there a couple times but never really pushed in," he shrugs. "Felt kind of silly doing it myself. And I couldn’t ever imagine someone doing it for me until now." He smiles softly, eyes shining.

Your heart flutters at his honesty. “Should we give it a go then?” You quirk an eyebrow, smiling as well. You feel him tense for a second and you thread your fingers in his hair. “I mean, we should start trying at some point, but we can take it slow,” you explain. He stays quiet and you reassure him, “We don’t have to do this yet if you’re not ready.”

He studies your face for a second and breathes deep. "I want to… think I’m just kind of wrapping my head around it," he admits, furrowing his brow.

You melt at his conflicted expression and kiss him tenderly. "Hey, you don't have to worry, we're in this together, you know?" He nods firmly at your encouragement. "Good... luckily I know by now how to get you to relax," you tease as you kiss down his chest, palming him through his sweatpants.

He lets out a breath through his nose. “Baby.” He’s grinning, you can hear it even with your eyes closed.

You let his cock spring free and you softly kiss the tip before pulling his pants all the way off.

“You trust me, baby boy?” You ask, tugging at the band of his pants.

Cal lifts his hips. “Of course,” he offers without hesitation.

“OK. I’m gonna try something, alright?” You warn, coming back up to pay special attention to his cock.

You hear him murmur his consent as you lick up and down the sides of him and then sink your mouth down, bobbing just enough to get him nice and covered in spit. You pull off and check his face, which is watching you, fascinated; he raises his eyebrows in anticipation for what's to come, given your announcement.

You wrap your hand around his length, slowly tugging it as you mouth his balls. You gently rub your hand up and down the back of his thigh before pushing it up and very gently kissing your way down further. You gently lick over his puckered hole and wait to see how he reacts.

You hear a sharp intake of breath which you expect, what you don't expect is the way he slightly scoots his ass down closer to you. You move your tongue against his opening again, this time adding a couple swirling motions, which earn you some low groans.

You grin to yourself and repeat the action. He wraps his hand around the back of his leg, lifting it for you so you can focus your attention where he really wants it. Calum may be ready for this after all.

There’s a whimper that escapes his lips that lets you know he’s enjoying this more than he was letting on. “Tongue,” is all he says. “So good...”

You let go of his cock and slide both hands up the back of his thighs, pushing them closer to his chest.

“So pretty, babe,” you coo. He’s had you like this many times before and you can see why he likes it, the vulnerability it forces you to share. “Touch your cock,” you direct, going back to tend to his hole.

He seems entranced by the way you're making him feel, a seemingly never-ending gravelly whine pouring from his throat. After a few more flicks of your tongue, you pull back and notice his hands remain clenched at his sides.

"Cal, baby," you lightly tap his thigh. "Stroke yourself for me, handsome, I know you need it."

Calum breaks out of his daze at the sound of your voice and pulls his cock away from his stomach, where it's been laying there leaking.

You go back to work and he wraps a hand around himself; he manages two or three tugs before he lets out a guttural moan and immediately drops his cock again. "Babe... touching feels too good... don't wanna cum yet, want you to keep going," he pants.

“Oh... I’ve got a needy baby boy, huh?” You tease. You let go of his thigh and reach for his abandoned cock, lightly teasing your fingertips over it while you lap at his entrance.

You feel him relax a bit so you start to tease the tip of your tongue inside him, partly for him but mostly so you can hear his neediest whines yet.

Cal whimpers as you cup his balls and run your finger lightly on the underside of his shaft. You can see the precum pooling on his stomach.

He’s mumbling with that rasp that his voice gets only when he's feeling truly wrecked. You place a few sloppy wet kisses to that space between his hole and his balls and he shouts as his whole body jumps.

You pull back to admire him in his debauched state and the cry that leaves his lips confirms what bad shape he’s in. He lets out a breathy, “Baby, why?” followed by a begging, “Please don’t stop.”

“Just wasn’t sure if you were enjoying it,” you tease, diving back in with more enthusiasm and determination than before.

You keep one hand lightly massaging his base and it only takes a few more licks over his opening for you to feel him twitch in your grasp and to hear him groaning. His orgasm is absolutely obscene; his cock spurts rope after rope of cum over his torso, as he whines desperately, still pushing his body closer to you, urging you to keep going.

You give him what he wants and keep flicking your tongue against him over and over with the occasional dip inside until you feel him start to settle down. You move your kisses to his thighs and look up at him again.

"Cal?" You check on him.

His eyes are still screwed shut, his hand now tight around his cock, squeezing the last few drops of cum from his tip. “I’m good baby... so fuckin’ good,” he sighs. His other hand reaches out to you and his body relaxes completely. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him so wrecked and it makes you want to do this for him even more.

You take his hand and grasp it tightly, coming up to gently stroke his lightly sweat-covered face with your other hand. "Did so good for me, bub, holy shit," you compliment him. "So hot seeing you like that, I could definitely get used to this."

He kisses your hand and then looks down at his cum covered body. “I think I could too,” he laughs euphorically.

The weekend comes and Cal lets himself into your place, as he always does; Duke comes scampering in too.

“Hi love!” You greet the dog, leaning over to pet him.

Cal grins, watching you with Duke.

“Hiya, other love.” You wrap your arms around his neck and stand on your toes to kiss him. “Listen… I went ahead and bought those toys you showed me,” you say nonchalantly as you pull away.

“Oh? Good... I forgot,” he says sheepishly.

“Look, I haven’t been dating you for this long not to assume you wouldn’t remember after we got high and you buried your face in between my thighs like I was your last meal,” you tease, tapping his shoulder.

“And I’d do it again,” he smirks. “Especially... like… I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about your tongue every day we did that.”

“Oh? Enjoyable for you, handsome?” You chuckle.

“I mean, judging by the amount of cum you cleaned off my stomach, I'd have to say yes,” he says with wide eyes, pulling you back in to him.

It’s only a matter of time before you’re back in the bedroom. Your panties stay on but Calum is completely naked, on his back and holding his thighs up for you again. His breathing is heavy and he’s whimpering as your tongue dances over his hole.

You pull back and peer over at him. “Cal… do you wanna try something?” You ask.

“Yeah, baby, anything you want,” he rushes out.

“Babe, this is about you,” you point out patiently.

“I know… you’re right… I want it, I want it.” It’s almost panicked the way he’s whining.

You run your hands along the sides of his thighs soothingly. You reach over for the small bottle of lube you’d tucked under one of your pillows just in case and coat your fingers with it. You wrap your hand around his cock and slowly touch him, knowing he might need the distraction and then you gently tease a finger against his hole, swirling it, causing him to gasp. You wait until he relaxes and then you squeeze his shaft as you slowly start to push your finger in.

Cal lets out a breathy “Oh” like you’ve never heard and you press a kiss to his leg as you push in a little further. You continue slowly like this for a minute until his breath sputters and you feel him tightening around your finger. You pause and start to pull back but then he emits a deep “Keep going” that you can’t disagree with.

You push your finger in slowly past the resistance and then gently start moving around, looking for that one spot; you’ve done your research so you would know what to expect and what you were looking for.

He practically pries your hand off his cock. “Can’t,” he whines, desperate.

“OK, handsome,” you murmur. You kiss along his thighs and wrap your free hand around one. You work your finger a bit more, watching his body react. When he starts moving back against you, you ask, “Want another?”

“Mmm hmm,” he nods frantically, eyes closed.

You slick a bit more lube onto your second finger and start to work it in as well. “Doing so good for me, baby,” you sigh. You didn’t realize how worked up you had gotten until you hear how breathy your voice comes out. “This is so fucking hot, Cal.”

“Oh god, baby,” he cries, voice straining as your two digits move inside him. You look up at him and he’s looking right back; it’s one of the more intense moments you two have shared. He drops his head to the pillows and you watch his back arch and a slew of curse words spill from his lips. “Right. There,” he huffs.

You gently bite his thigh. “Want to see you cum for me, baby,” you coo, confident in your movements. Almost immediately, his sounds become even breathier and whinier and you see his hand fly to grasp his cock as the cum starts spurting. “There you go, baby boy,” you praise as he desperately bucks his hips. “So good, handsome.”

You pull your fingers out and Calum lays panting for a while, dazed. You press a kiss to each of his knees and move to start cleaning up. His eyes are shut but he feels you moving around the room and he reaches out to touch your arm. “I love you, baby,” he quietly rasps.

The next morning, Cal gets up just after dawn to take Duke out and never returns to bed. You find him at your kitchen table, eating a bowl of oatmeal and writing in his journal.

“Morning, bub,” you yawn, kissing the top of his head as you pass by to make yourself some breakfast. "I was thinking if it's nice out, we might take Duke to the park today?"

He gets up and takes his bowl to the sink. “Oh, uh… I was actually thinking I’d head out pretty soon,” he says apologetically. “I’ve been busy so the house is kind of a mess… there’s actually a lot I should take care of.”

“Oh. OK, yeah,” you shrug. You’re slightly surprised, you thought you were spending the day together but it’s not unlike Cal for him to put vital tasks until the last minute. “Maybe next week.”

The next few days follow a similar pattern. You ask Calum if he wants to grab dinner, he already has plans. He’s “swamped” and has to postpone your movie night. There’s still a “Good morning, pretty girl” text waiting for you when you wake up every day and a “Good night, my love” text that chimes every night when you’re brushing your teeth so you’re not too worried but you can tell something is off.

You get an email that your toy order has shipped and you send a screenshot to Cal, accompanied by the eggplant and dripping emojis. It takes him a while to reply, which is typical, but when he finally does, all you get back is “lol.” You frown. You don’t know how you expected him to respond but it was definitely not “lol.”

Your understanding of the situation starts becoming a bit clearer when you scroll up through your text thread and see that every time you’ve brought up your recent encounters, he’s either changed the subject or given an extremely short, vague response. You exhale slowly. You’re going to have to talk to him.

A hike is the least confrontational activity you can think to suggest and he agrees to meet you at your usual spot with Duke later that afternoon. They find you in the parking lot and you kneel down to show the small dog some love before you give your boyfriend a peck on the cheek.

As you’d hoped, you basically have the trail to yourselves; you walk for a bit, chatting easily about everyday things. You stop for a quick break and you decide to take a deep breath and go for it. “Kinda wanted to talk to you about something, bubba,” you start, hoping you don’t sound as uneasy as you feel.

Cal sits on a nearby bench and scoops Duke up to sit beside him. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you, brow furrowed, dark eyes squinting in that way he does when he’s really concentrating on what you’re saying.

You sit next to them; you want to look him in the eyes but you’re weirdly nervous so you focus on petting the sweet dog who is also patiently waiting for you to make your case. “I feel like… and I could be totally wrong and please tell me if I am… but I feel like maybe you’ve been avoiding seeing me after you know… the last night we spent together,” you try to put it as delicately as possible. “And it’s fine if you didn’t like it and it’s fine if you want to stop trying the things we’ve been trying but… I need you to talk to me about it, Cal. I shouldn’t have to guess here and I’m feeling really shut out.”

He’s quiet for a minute but you know he’s going to take his time weighing his words and making sure he expresses himself clearly. Finally he quietly says, “You’re right.”

There’s another pause and you hope to ease his mind by cracking, “That’s a good start, babe, but I’m gonna need a little more.”

Calum shakes his head fondly, waits a beat, then lets it all out, both slow and rushed as only he can. “I guess I just didn’t expect… I don’t know, baby, we’ve been together a while and we’ve done a lot of shit but that’s the closest to you I’ve ever felt. Which is good like… I want that. But I just felt really… exposed?” He stares off down the trail for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. “I’ve just never felt need like that before and I don’t think I was prepared for how it would feel to let you see me like that.”

It takes a minute for him to feel like he can meet your eyes and you can’t help but think it’s for the best, as yours are brimming with tears. You feel so deeply for him in this moment and the love you have for him overwhelms you.

“Baby,” you whisper, reaching your hand over the bench to squeeze his shoulder. “That’s a lot. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me? You didn’t have to deal with all that alone.”

“A bit hard to be open with someone about being embarrassed you were open with them,” he points out with a shrug.

“But Cal, that’s just it! There’s no reason to feel embarrassed, you know there’s no judgement between us, especially in bed,” you firmly insist. “And if you are feeling weird about anything, I need to know. The only way we can continue this is if you talk to me, babe, that’s just the way it’s gotta be.”

Calum nods quietly and sits Duke on his lap so he can pull you closer, placing his arm around you. You rest your head on his shoulder and say, “You have to trust me with this, bub. I’m not gonna feel comfortable doing this unless I know you can communicate with me. How can I be sure you’ll tell me if something doesn’t feel right physically if you feel awkward even telling me that your feelings are off, baby?”

He squeezes your arm. “I can do that,” he promises. “I also think I was a little afraid to make you feel bad about it. I really did like it. And I could tell you did too. It was just the after I had trouble processing.”

You lift your head up and gently turn his face to look at you. “I’ll make you a deal,” you state. “I can definitely step up my aftercare game for you. But for me, Cal, I need once and for all you to understand that this isn’t about me. I know it goes against your instincts and I love that about you but we’re doing this for your pleasure and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Deal. Although… I’m still gonna give you one hell of an orgasm when you do this for me… there’s no talking me out of that,” he smirks, lightening the mood.

You text him later that week to let him know the toys have arrived and his face immediately flashes on your screen.

“Should we get out of town?” He asks.

“We can do whatever you think is gonna be most comfortable for you, bubba,” you affirm. “I figured you’d want to do it at your place because it’s familiar territory and it’s going to be such an unfamiliar experience…”

“I know I agreed that technically this is for me but... I still feel like it’s about us…” He thinks out loud. “I dunno, part of me wants to take you away on this big romantic adventure so we can be alone together. No outside world, just our bubble.”

“I love you, baby. Whatever you want,” you say softly.

And so it’s settled. The next afternoon Calum is waiting for you on your couch when you get home from your half-day at work. He’s already packed a bag for you and he’s raring to go.

You head into your room to change and decide to check what he packed for you. You unzip the bag and to your surprise, it appears he’s thought of just about everything, including his favorite lingerie for you. The harness, the dildo set and the plugs are all accounted for and he’d even remembered your travel bag from the bathroom. You smile at his effort and head back out to him.

“Great pack job, baby, I’m all set!” You toss the bag by the door excitedly.

He grabs your hand as you walk to the door and for some reason it goes straight to your core; you’re not travelling far but you realize the drive is about to feel that much longer.

You haven’t been in the car very long when Cal starts noticing how touchy you’re being with him and about halfway through the trip, he decides to ask. “What’s with you, baby?” He asks, playfully nudging your knee.

“Nothing,” you tease. “I’m just excited! Time alone together? This is rare.”

He glances over at you and gives you a look. “You sure that’s it? Because the way you’re squeezing your thighs tells me you're excited in another way.”

“Honestly, Cal... I’d give anything to ride your face right about now,” you boldly admit and give a cheeky grin when you see his face twitch at your words.

He groans, “The absolute death of me.” Shaking his head, he quietly commands, “Undo your shorts.” You do him one better and push your shorts to the floor.

“Can’t get my mouth right now, but I’m sure my fingers will do,” he mumbles as he very quickly pushes your panties out of the way and slicks his fingers through your folds. “Oh... pretty girl,” he murmurs, pulling his fingers away to suck them into his mouth. You turn your body toward him, resting your back against the door and pulling one leg into the seat with you.

Cal steals a glance and his thumb presses to your clit, causing you to moan.

“You’re so fuckin’ wet, you naughty girl,” he teases, nudging his pointer finger inside you. “Is this how you’re gonna be all weekend?”

“Probably,” you shrug nonchalantly.

“Good,” he responds smugly. “I knew getting away would be the right choice.”

He pushes two fingers in and you grip the seat, letting out a little noise of approval. “Please, Cal!”

He knows he can’t take his eyes off the road no matter how badly he wants to look at you, so he turns down the radio so he can listen to your moans and let his imagination fill in the rest. You resituate and tilt your hips up toward him more. “Rub your clit, baby… want you to cum for me,” he growls.

You bite your lip and do as you’re asked. You moan loudly as he pushes in a third finger and his eyes somehow remain on the road. You let out a little gasp.

Calum can’t help but steal a glance. “Mmm, my pretty girl’s pretty pussy,” he licks his lips. “You’re so close, baby, I feel you squeezin’ my fingers.”

You grab onto his wrist with your free hand as his fingers continue to pump in and out of you. Your head lulls back against the window and he makes quick work of finishing you. “Yes, baby, so hot when you cum for me,” he praises.

He withdraws his fingers once you stop throbbing around them and he lifts his index finger to your lips for you to suck clean; he goes on to suck the other two.

You sit, still exposed to him, catching your breath and you eye his hard on. “Don’t even think about it, darlin’,” he warns, keeping focused on the road. “I can practically read your mind and you’re basically salivating.”

“Can’t help it if I wanna suck you off…” You say breathily, hand dancing up his thigh. “You just made me cum… makes me wanna make you cum… you knew what to expect.”

“And now I expect you to keep your hands to yourself till we get there. Just a little bit further baby,” he promises.

You huffingly adjust your clothes and see him smirking out of the corner of your eye. But he’s right and it’s not long before you’ve made it to the hotel and checked into your room. The energy between you is wild; comfortable but nervous, familiar yet unknown. You find things to do to busy yourself, knowing it’d be ridiculous for you to immediately jump into bed. Cal connects his phone to the room’s sound system to play some music, hoping to ease the tension as you both unpack

The music helps and you go from humming along to the music to singing to being goofily spun around the room by him within minutes. After a few songs, the only bag left unopened is the one containing all your toys and you stare at it for a beat.

He notices your hesitation and comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. “Let’s leave it for now, baby.” He nuzzles into your neck. “Sitting in the car all that time got me craving a hot shower, come join me.”

The shower (and inevitable shower sex) helps you both relax and when you’re back in the bedroom getting dressed afterwards, you bound over to the bag left on the bed.

“This is silly. Why am I nervous now that we’re here? Do you feel nervous?” You babble as you sit on the bed, unzipping the bag and dumping it out next to you.

Cal smiles to himself and sits down next to you. He soothingly rubs a hand over your back and with the other he picks up one of the dildos, examining it. “Nah, I’m quite looking forward to getting to know our new friends,” he says lightly. He sits it down and leans in closer to you. “It’s gonna be so good, darlin’. Can’t wait for you to fill me up,” he rasps.

You suck in a breath and capture his lips in an eager kiss that’s somehow both comforting and thrilling. “I don’t know if that qualifies as a pep talk but thanks, bub,” you laugh against his skin.

The rest of the day seems to fly by; you and Calum decide over drinks that it’d probably be best to ease into things and just try out the plugs for your first night. He insists on eating you out before you even think about touching him and by the time he makes you cum, he’s whining against you.

You’re not sure what you were expecting but the plug experience goes off without a hitch. You think to yourself that you’ll never tire of seeing him spread himself for you, never tire of hearing the new type of moans he’s been letting out since you started this journey.

It doesn’t take Cal very long to get used to the smallest plug in the set and you’re surprised when he asks you if you’ll switch to the next size up. He must’ve noticed your reaction because he tells you that the past few times he’s jerked off, he’s also fingered himself, thinking about your upcoming plans. That admission leaves you throbbing and Cal has to get you off again before either of you turn in for the night.

The next morning, you awaken to the feeling of light kisses being pressed along the back of your neck and Cal pressing himself his hardening cock into your backside, warm hands rubbing over your thighs. “Morning, pretty girl,” he says with a crack, his voice not as awake as the rest of him. “Think it’s time, baby.”

It takes a few seconds for his meaning to land. “OH,” you turn and look at him with wide eyes. “Is it? Like right now? First thing in the morning?”

“Don’t wanna wait any longer, want you now,” he murmurs, kissing over your face.

You indulge him for a second before pulling back and asking, "What time even is it? It feels early."

Calum hovers over you, nibbling at your ear. "Doesn't matter, babe. Sun's out, it's a beautiful day and it's fuckin' time," he enthuses.

There's a beat as his words register with the both of you and you clamp a hand over your mouth to stifle a snort. He grins at you. "I meant that like for emphasis, like ‘It's fuckin’ time' not like I'm calling sex Fuckin’ Time," he laughs loudly, shoulders shaking the further he gets into his defense.

You cackle, tears running out of your eyes. You tease, "What does it say about me that I still want you after hearing that come out of your mouth?"

He shakes his head, breath coming out in wheezes. "You must really have it bad for me, I guess," he shrugs, eyes sparkling.

"Something like that," you giggle, drawing him in for a kiss. You nip at his mouth as you pull away. "Now, let's get what we need, baby. It's Fuckin' Time."

He hops in the shower while you evaluate the lingerie he packed for you and decide what he'd like best. You get out your gear and think to yourself how glad you are that you watched a video online about how to properly fit the harness for your body; you're so excited you're not sure you'd be able to figure it out on your own otherwise.

By the time Calum's out of the shower, you're admiring your reflection in the mirror above the dresser; you could always count on him to pick out underwear that both accentuated the things he loves most about you and made you feel great. Your hand wraps around the synthetic cock jutting proudly from your crotch; you give it a light squeeze and marvel at how the silicone is such a familiar feeling but feeling the weight of it attached to you, seeing it as part of you, knowing what you're about to do with it? All new feelings, equally jarring and thrilling.

You hear a sharp intake of breath behind you and turn to see Cal, clad only in his grey sweatpants. He walks over, eyes never wavering from you and takes your hand to spin you around so he can fully appreciate you. He lets out a soft whistle. “Gorgeous,” he praises, eyes travelling over you and landing on the royal blue dildo he chose. “A pretty cock for my pretty girl.”

He pulls you in to kiss you and you giggle against his lips as you feel him shifting, trying to find a comfortable place to situate your protruding appendage. “Is this what you have to deal with with me, baby? Jesus,” he laughs at the awkward dance.

You shrug. “I’d say it’s worth it,” you say flirtatiously as you reach down to palm him, raising an eyebrow when you feel him soft.

He runs a hand over the back of his neck like he does when he gets bashful. “I, uh, might’ve pre-gamed a little in the shower. I wanted to be sure I could make this last,” he discloses.

You smile and peck his lips. “Good boy,” you coo.

Cal steps back and eyes you for a second. “You’re feelin’ yourself, aren’t you, baby?” He grins at you.

You bite your lip and turn back to your reflection and you find yourself wrapping a hand around the dildo once again. “Actually, I kind of am,” you state with a nod.

He kisses your shoulder. “I’m feelin’ you too... now let me get you off so we can get to Fuckin’ Time,” he jokes.

You giggle as he leads you to the bed. "Always such a way with words," you tease.

Calum attempts to lay you down with him but you hold a hand up, signaling you need a moment. You reach over to the bedside table, where you’d ended up unpacking your toys, and come back up with lube and the plug he liked the night before.

“We should probably start with prepping you, handsome,” you suggest gently.

He nods in agreement and lifts up to strip off his sweatpants. He holds his knees for you, like he’s done so many times now, and waits to feel the chill of the lube against his entrance. He gasps sharply when he feels your tongue briefly brush against him instead.

“Sorry, baby boy, couldn’t help myself,” you chuckle, pressing a kiss to his inner thigh. He ends up taking the plug with even less resistance than the previous session and he beams as the praise flows from your lips.

You lay beside him and sigh as he moves above you, kissing along your neck and the tops of your breasts, murmuring about how pretty they look in the bra he picked out. You expect him to make his way in between your legs but he pulls back before he makes it there. "Think I'm gonna need you on my face, love."

You let out an excited hum as Cal gets situated next to you and squeal as he grabs you and pulls you over to straddle his face. “I knew you’d look incredible in this, baby,” he murmurs, nibbling your thigh, fingers tracing over the lace of the harness before teasing over your wetness, thanks to the crotchless center. “And anything with this type of access is A+ in my book.”

"Well, you're a man with exquisite taste," you compliment playfully.

You gasp as he licks a fat stripe up your center. "Mmm, talk about exquisite taste, darlin’,” he laughs huskily.

The lighthearted moment is short-lived as he quickly gets down to business licking you. His tongue dances along your folds, occasionally dipping inside your entrance teasingly. It always takes you a minute to feel comfortable grinding on his face but once you start rocking your hips, you're unable to stop and he grips your thighs to steady you.

“Slow down, baby, I’ve never let you down,” he murmurs. He presses up on your thighs to make room for him to push two fingers inside you.

“God, Calum.” You moan, looking down at him, tangling your fingers in his hair. “So fucking good.”

He withdraws his fingers in favor of licking up into you and you feel your eyes widen as you watch him reach up to grab the dildo and begin stroking it. You groan loudly, feeling yourself become even more turned on than you thought possible as you watch his hand move over the silicone as his mouth pleasures your pussy.

"Like how my cock feels in your hand, baby? Do you like jerking me off?" You tease, arousal emboldening you. "If it feels this good to you now, just think how much better it's gonna feel inside you."

Cal grunts into you and you swear you could cum just from that sound alone. His hand works quickly over the toy as he wraps his other around your thigh, pulling you down on his face. With his nose lightly nudging your clit, you can’t help yourself and start grinding on his face again.

“Get it, baby,” he moans. “Can’t wait to feel you in me.”

He sucks your clit in between his lips and your legs shake around his face. He releases it in favor of flicking his tongue and then lifts you up a bit, kissing along your lips as he catches his breath.

"Somethin' about seeing you like this," he breathes. "I don't know, pretty girl, it's already more than I dreamt of."

You murmur in response and he brings you back down onto his mouth. "Now I need you to cum for me."

You grip tightly into his hair, encouraging his skilled tongue to finish you off. “Oh fuuuuuuuck,” you moan loudly, leaning forward into the headboard as you cum. Cal takes his time licking around you, letting you enjoy the come down.

“Jesus Christ,” he groans, lifting you off his face. You land next to him and he sits up, immediately pulling you into a sloppy kiss. “Need you,” he states plainly, reaching for the lube and placing it in your hand. “Please, I can’t wait,” he urges.

You let out a loud breath, pleased by his eagerness. You start slicking the lube over your strap-on; Cal hurriedly lays back down on the bed; his chest rises and falls rapidly, you can tell he's both excited and nervous and you recognize that the look on his face is the one he makes when he's trying desperately not to touch himself.

You lean down and kiss him sweetly, hoping to calm him a bit. "Do you feel ready for me, baby?" You move down his body and lightly run your fingertips over his cock, playing with the precum that's sliding down the shaft as you check on the plug that's been filling him. "You take this one so well, Cal. Think you're nice and open for me."

He lets out a shaky breath, reaching to hold onto your hips for a second. “Baby,” he says quietly as you gently pull at the plug, pulling it to the widest part and letting it slide back into him.

“I’m serious, Cal, wish you could see how well you take it,” you praise, watching in amazement. “You gonna be this good for my cock? I know you want to, don’t you, baby boy?” You tease, digging your nails into his thigh.

He whimpers slightly and you watch as he attempts to collect himself, cock already twitching with anticipation, leaking onto his stomach. "Pretty girl, I'm gonna need that pretty cock in me as soon as you can, don't think I can wait much longer," he rasps

“Oh, I think you could,” you tease. “But I won’t make you.” You pull the plug out, gently squeezing his balls in your other hand. “The idea of you letting me have you like this is so hot...” You trail off as he shudders underneath you; you assume it’s from the coolness of the lube you’re rubbing over him but you suspect it partly has to do with your words as well.

You grab your cock and line yourself up, pushing the tip against his hole. “OK, Cal, remember to talk to me,” you whisper, rubbing your hands reassuringly on his thighs. You make eye contact with him as you start to push into him at an achingly slow pace, watching his face, making sure everything’s OK.

You see him puff out his cheeks and exhale slowly a couple times, trying to decipher how he feels about your intrusion. You slowly continue until you meet that resistance and you pause before going any further. "Relax, baby," you soothe. "We’ll go as slow as you need, I promise."

You start to pull out slightly and his eyes widen as he involuntarily lets out a loud moan. You halt your movements again and wait. "That was actually a good sound," he chuckles, squeezing your hand on his thigh. "It's just. Feels fuller than before. But good. Just different." He rambles, sorting through his racing thoughts.

You squeeze his hand back and smile at him. He breathes deep. "We can keep going, just slow like this," he nods to himself. "And maybe some more lube?"

“Of course, Cal, yes, this is perfect,” you enthuse. “Tell me what you want, just like we talked about. That’s what’s gonna make this good for both of us.” You encourage excitedly, working more lube onto your toy.

You feel like kissing him; you think he wants it, maybe even needs it. But you know you can’t lean in to do so, you’d push in too quickly, so you settle for kissing his knee.

He squeezes your hand again, “A little further, love,” he requests.

You do as he asks and you see him wince briefly so you back up. This decision is met with a whimper. “No, baby, in. I’m good, I promise,” he states firmly.

You take a deep breath to steady yourself and reach to play with his cock a little, hoping to give him both some relief and some distraction. He licks his lips and relaxes into your touch, allowing you to inch the toy in a bit more. "Doing so good, Cal," you comment softly.

You watch his chest breathe in and out, timing it with the slight rocking of your hips to help you enter him more and more. Calum wraps his hand around yours, helping you stroke your hand over him.

“Oh fuck.” He moans, squeezing your hand around his cock. “Like that,” he pants.

Your tactic works and he gets so caught up in the feeling of your joint efforts jerking him off that he doesn't notice you've finally worked the dildo inside him entirely. "God, Cal," you groan at the realization. "How does it feel knowing I'm buried inside you, baby?"

He shudders at your words. “Buried?” He asks, making sure he heard right. He feels you pressed all the way against him and groans. “Oh my god, baby… fuck.” He gently tugs on you, pulling you down to him. “I’m so happy we’re doing this,” he murmurs, kissing you.

You move back to a kneeling position and gently pull your hips back; when you slowly push forward again, his mouth drops completely open and the only thing that comes out are little breathy sounds.

You feel yourself throbbing again, this is already much more intense than you anticipated. Calum's eyes are squeezed shut but you're confident if they were open, they would be glassy. "Baby boy," you warmly coo, slowly rocking your hips. "Let me see you stroke your cock, handsome."

His eyes open and he blinks rapidly, eyes focusing on you working above him. Your words finally register and his hand travels down, wrapping around his cock. "Feels so good," he murmurs, fighting the urge to speed up his hand. "Want more, baby, please give me more."

You slightly pick up the pace and mild discomfort flashes across his face but it’s quickly replaced with pleasure. You lean in and press kisses across his chest, covering the tattoos there.

“Mmm, more baby…” Calum pants, squeezing the head of his cock. “Can you... please… faster?”

You oblige and he lets out a loud whimper quickly followed by a guttural moan when you accidentally change the direction your hips hit.

“Right there... right there, GOD, right fucking there,” he chants, letting go of his cock in favor of grabbing you to help you find that spot again.

His moans go straight to your core and you feel arousal start to drip down your thighs. You can't believe how hot it is seeing him like this, witnessing him give himself over to you like this and let his guard down, telling you what he needs from you. "Makes me feel so good to give you what you want, baby," you admit in a whinier tone than you intend. "Just want my cock to please you like yours pleases me."

“It’s fucking perfect,” he chokes out.

The two of you manage to find that magic spot again and your hips hit it relentlessly once you do. Calum is breathing heavier than you’ve ever heard before and when you tease a finger down his precum soaked shaft, he yelps. “You wanna cum for me, baby boy?”

"Don’t want this to end," he confesses, voice faltering in that way you know means he's at the point of no return. "You're just fucking me so good, baby." His voice catches at the end of his sentence and he groans deep and loud as his cock starts to twitch; his hand flies towards it as the pulsing intensifies, cum shooting out in wild, strong spurts along his torso, some reaching as high as his chest tattoos. His moans seem to go on forever, as does his orgasm; you continue to drive your hips into him through it, marveling at the intensity of his release as he pumps the last drops out.

He grabs your hips when it becomes too much and you slowly pull back and out of him. “Holy fuck, baby.” He breathes in disbelief. “You... you fucked me good.”

You grin and move beside him, fingers dragging through the cum covering his chest; you lean forward to lick at the ropes decorating his tattoos and he threads his fingers in your hair, gazing at you adoringly. “How're you?” He asks, caressing your cheek.

“I loved it. But… honestly, I’m dripping, Cal,” you confess, sitting back up. “I knew that was going to be intense but like… fuck.”

He notices the sheen of wetness on your thighs and reaches out, arm heavy with exhaustion, to caress your leg. "What can we do for you, love? Anything you want, you deserve it."

You lean down to kiss him. "I feel like your mouth is making promises the rest of you can't keep, baby boy." You chuckle against his lips. "I have an idea but first help me out of this harness, I wanna be naked with you."

He helps you out of both the harness and your bra and then pulls you against his body. You put one of your legs between his and start to rock your hips against it, looking up at him for another kiss.

He nibbles at your lips before kissing them, sighing into your mouth as he feels your wetness spread on his leg. "Tell me what you need, love, want you to feel as good as I do right now."

You bite your lip and shift yourself off him, leaning over to the bedside table. "At first I thought it might've been a mistake that you packed my plug along with the set we got for you," you start, retrieving the toy and reaching for the lube. "But now I'm thinking you may be the smartest man alive."

Cal smiles broadly as he watches you slick it up and then reach behind you and start spreading some lube around your tight hole. "I know you, baby, thought you might get jealous seeing me stretched out like that," he teases.

“You do know me,” you affirm with a smirk. “Help me?” You ask, handing him the lubed plug.

He grins cheekily at you and captures you in another kiss as he works the plug in; he pushes it in a bit and then pulls it back out, making sure you feel all the stretch he knows you love.

You groan at the sensation and Cal plays with you a little more, enjoying your sounds and the way your hips are moving. "Babyyyy..." you whine and he relents, pushing the plug inside you fully and giving your ass a light tap.

"You want something else, darlin'?" He asks sweetly, reaching towards the drawer again. "Brought your vibe too. Or we've got the other dildos from my set we didn't need."

“So thoughtful, such a gentleman,” you tease, gesturing towards your small bullet vibrator. He clicks it on and starts teasing it against your clit.

You bite your lip and groan. “You’ve earned this, baby,” he declares, watching intently as you take the toy from him and start moving it on yourself.

You got so worked up from fucking him that it only takes a few minutes before you're close. "Gonna cum," you announce to no one in particular.

Calum watches as you hold the vibe against your clit waiting to fall over the edge. He moves his hand from your chest, where he'd been gently playing with your nipples, down between your thighs and plunges two fingers inside you, moving them carefully so as not to upset the position of the vibe.

“Fuck, Cal,” you moan, hips bucking against the vibe, pussy clenching around his fingers. He works you through your orgasm, encouraging you to ride his fingers and switching out the vibe on your clit for his thumb when he can tell it’s become too much.

He withdraws his fingers from you and licks them clean as you flop face down onto the bed next to him. He chuckles and runs his other hand through your hair and down your back as you come down. “You can’t possibly be more worn out than I am, pretty girl.”

You shift your head to face him. “I don’t know, baby… having you like that… kind of the hottest thing I’ve ever seen or done in my life,” you tease, eyes and voice dreamy with exhaustion.

“Well… letting you have me like that was the hottest thing I’ve ever done or seen, so I guess it’s a draw,” he responds, kissing your face as he gently removes the plug from your ass.

You curl into each other and it’s quiet for a few moments as you both take in what you just experienced. “Thank you for asking me to do this for you,” you breathe, breaking the silence. “It feels good to know you trust me like this.”

Calum kisses the top of your head. “Can’t think of a thing I wouldn’t trust you with, darlin’,” he says thoughtfully. “I love you.”

You murmur, “Love you too, baby boy.” You peck his chest and sit up, pulling on his arm. “Let’s get cleaned up and then it’s Fuckin’ Nap Time.”

He lets out of a huff of a laugh, allowing you to pull him out of bed with you. “I’m never gonna live down Fuckin’ Time, am I?”

“Think you’re just gonna have to embrace that one, bub, I’m not letting it go,” you giggle as you pull him towards the shower. “But don’t worry, I can guarantee you’re gonna be hearing that phrase a lot this weekend, you’ll have time to embrace it.”

---------------

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@strawberriesonsummer @talkfastromance4 @myescapefromthislife @lukedorkyhemmings @bronte.niven @stormrider505 @katiaw2 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @crazyforcal @simply-sam-things @harringtonstudios @calmforharry @midwestloser33

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ultimatetornshipper · 4 years ago

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Daminette December Day 2

@daminette-december2019-2020

(A/n sorry to people I tagged, i accidentally posted it early before I could edit some stuff and add the keep reading thing, yeah oops)

Princes and Pedestals

Chapter 2 – Swordplay

The swords clancked against one another as he sparred with his teacher.

But his mind was in the throne room, yesterday when he met the bluest gaze he'd ever seen.

And how when she’d seen him she’d looked seconds away from falling apart.

His mind was on his conversation with his father about said girl afterwards.

Kagami's sword shot his to Jason’s feet, who he hadn’t noticed watching them from the side of the sparring arena.

“You are distracted,” Kagami said simply, lowering her sword from his neck.

“I’m not- ,” he started, but Jason interrupted him.

“She’s right, I saw it too baby bird, what’s going on?” he approached them, worry and confusion evident on his face.

He growled, “I’m not distracted-,”

A knife whizzed passed him, nicking his ear and landing in a tree a way off in front of him. He brought his hand to his ear and it brought back blood. The red liquid mocked him.

He turned around to see Cass staring at him with a superior smile, “Distracted,”

He glared at her, “Fine I’m distracted, are you happy now? Can we keep sparring or is everyone going to interrupt my lesson today?”

Kagami rolled her eyes at him while Cass walked to the tree and pulled her knife out, Jason held his hands out and walked back to the tree stump they’d situated outside the arena for those that wanted to watch training.

After meeting the gi- Grand Guardian Marinette, his father had dismissed the others but asked him to stay behind.

Jason threw his katana back to him and Kagami got into her stance. They started sparring again and Damian felt his thoughts drifting.

“They want to have an alliance,” Bruce had stated slowly, watching his every move carefully.

“I know father, I was here too,” Damian had replied, wondering what his father’s strange remark would lead to, and openly confused by his tone.

“I was thinking of offering an alliance by marriage,” his father had turned to him fully, his gaze serious and Damian choked on a bit of air.

“Marriage? Father if it’s my opinion you’re asking I think she is far too young for you. I also doubt Selina would be at all happy with such an arrangement-,” he said quickly, hoping to properly discourage his father’s idea. He did not want a stepmother that was quite clearly younger than him.

Bruce laughed, “Don’t be simple, Damian. I don’t want her to marry me, I want her to marry you,”

Damian stared at him, shocked, the thought of an arranged marriage wasn’t something he thought his father would consider, “Me?”

Bruce sobered up a little, “Yes, you Damian,”

“You wish to marry me off?” he said, quite offended at the prospect, he thought he and his father had a bond. He hadn’t realized he wanted to get rid of him.

“No, Damian, I just think it might be the best course of action, they’re a powerful group, having a strong alliance would be in our best interest,” he'd said.

Damian didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to believe that father wanted to get rid of him. But what else could it possibly mea-

Kagami disarming him and shoving her sword against his throat pulled him back to reality.

She narrowed her eyes, “You’re unfocused. Spill. Now,”

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms, he huffed, annoyed, “No,”

She mirrored the movement, “We can’t spar if you’re not all here, now either spill it or I’ll go ask you’re father what he said to you that ruffled your feathers so much,”

He stormed off to the tree stump Jason was on and plopped himself down on it and ran his hand over his face. He put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands, fingers gripping his hair.

“He wants to get rid of me,” he mumbled, but they all heard him.

There were a few moments of silence before he heard Cass approach him, “Talk me through it,”

“He said that he’s considering marrying me off to that Guardian girl from yesterday. For the alliance. He wants to get rid of me,” he said, biting back his pain, everyone wanted to get rid of him, first his mother and now his father. No one wanted him. He wasn’t good enough.

“Did he say that you were going to go with her? Maybe he intends to negotiate for her to stay here, to make the Order a part of Gotham. Have you asked him about any of that?” Cass asked.

“No, but it’s quite obvious that he’s trying to just get rid of me. Why wouldn’t h-,” Damian stopped himself from finishing the sentence.

“Because he loves you, Damian,” Cass replied quietly, touching his shoulder.

Kagami took a step forward and crouched in front of him, “And would it really be so bad to marry her? I’ve worked with her once or twice in the past, she’s a great girl,”

Damian sat up, glaring at the ground, “She could never understand where I come from. My mother...”

Kagami looked understanding, “Everyone has to make hard choices and go through what seems impossible. She might just surprise you,”

Damian doubted it, but before he could voice said doubts Jason bumped his shoulder, “And, hey, if he’s just trying to get rid of you, we won’t let him,”

An awkward silence followed and Jason looked more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

After a few seconds more they all burst out laughing. Well Damian slightly chuckled but that’s as close as he got to it.

He stared up at her window from where he sat. The curtains were flailing outside the window in the wind. He spotted her sitting in the windowsill, writing what he assumed to be a letter.

Her dark hair loosely hung past her shoulders and she tapped the feathery end of the quill thoughtfully against her chin. One of the many palace cats sat next to her on the ledge and she smiled at it before softly scratching it’s head.

Perhaps Kagami was correct, maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

Taglist: (oms I have a taglist)

@animegirlweeb

#maribat #damian wayne #daminette #daminette december #medieval au #marinette dupain cheng #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #arranged marriage au #well not the classic one but yeah that's what this is #if u haven't caught on to that already #hehe loving writing this tbh #utp writes

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miss-choco-chips · 5 years ago

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Soul Shards Au Headcanons

Dunno if this already exists, but if not, here it is.

Tim Drake Soul Shards au.

—-.—–

Okay I wanted to write about this, but really, between Twisted Soulmates and Put a Ring on it, and *finals* (I’m halfway through hell, I have to keep going), I just can’t. But this wouldn’t leave me alone, so here.

Au where everyone is born hugging a shiny small orb, which encompasses their soul. To anyone else, the orb is solid, like diamond perfectly polished. But to the owner, it changes as they see fit, from rock solid to malleable. Commonly, mothers, fathers and close relatives will gift their kids with little pieces of their own souls, shaping them to be little rings, necklaces, headsets, etc. Kids are discouraged from giving soul shards to anyone other than their relatives until they grow up a bit, but some still give bits and pieces to their best friends. The bit of soul given away always carries the feeling the person who gave it has for the person receiving it, so kids always carry their mother’s love, their father’s pride, their aunts or uncles fondness, etc.

Now, into the headcannons. Please keep in mind I wrote this in one go so it’s not edited. Probably full of mistakes.

Tim’s parents were always careful with their souls, carrying them on little pouches or leather bags. They are full and perfectly unscathed. Jack’s soul was a little more reduced, since he gave bits and pieces of himself to his own parents when he was a little kid, but Janet’s is whole.

They never gave him a piece of themselves, Janet firmly against the act altogether, Jack following on her example.

Little Timmy always watched his classmates on kindergarten running around, shinny shards of soul decorating them, radiating a love he never felt on his own skin.

Fast forward the night the Graysons fell, little Tim went back home and made a little necklace for the boy that flew for him and gave him a hug so warm he likes to think it’s what being gifted a soul feels like.

He never really gets around to giving it to him though. It sits on a wooden box in a hidey hole under Tim’s bed, along with his most precious Batman and Robin photos.

He once tries to give his parents soul shards (a wonderfully made ring and headset for dad and mom respectively). His mother is outraged, to the point to slap him. Then, for maybe the second or third time in his life, she hugs him.

“-You stupid boy. Don’t give your soul away so easily, or you’ll have none left for yourself. And what do you think will happen to you, if you are soulless?”

He never tries again.

Tim once falls from a high spot, where he was perched taking pictures of the second Robin. His hero saves him, gives him an earful, and they become friends (Robin drops in before or after patrol to make sure Tim listened to his warnings and stopped sneaking out at night. Tim kept doing it, but was sneakier about it and Robin, despite being suspicious, has no proof that the kid disobeyed).

Tim gives Robin/Jason a soul shard once, a little birdarang he craved after the one Jason gifted him, but shiny blue like his soul. It’s filled with awe, respect, shyness, adoration and what would equal as a crush if Tim were socially adept enough to recognize it. Jason is a stuttering mess for weeks, keeps the birdarang with himself at all times, right next to the soulshard Bruce gave him, and never takes it off. He plans on giving Tim something back, but is unsure as to what. Earing? The kid needed a little pre teen rebellion…

He never gets around to doing it.

He’s clutching Tim’s birdarang when he dies. Bruce doesn’t know who gave it to Jay, and is too overwhelmed with grief to investigate. He just buries Jason with it.

After Tim becomes Robin, he finally gathers enough courage to give Dick his soulshard. He explains how much Dick meant to him growing up, but that Dick doesn’t need to give anything back. They’ve just officially met not long ago, after all. Dick promises to give him something soon, though.

He doesn’t. Other things are more important. IT’ll happen when it happens, he figures. No rush.

Bruce gets a watch and Alfred a tie pin, but Bruce refuses to give anyone else a piece of himself, less of all Tim. He’s sure his soul is poisoned or something (He gave some to his parents, they died. Dick, he left. Jason, he died. Clark and Diana, they were superhuman, they don’t count. Alfred… well, Alfred is always the exception), and won’t allow his darkness to touch the boy (OH BOY IS HE WRONG). But because he doesn’t want Tim to feel like Bruce has a personal problem with him (*epic fail on his part*), instead of calmly explaining his reasoning, he also forbids Alfred from giving Tim a soul shard (That shit’s gonna explode on his face).

Tim goes around to giving bits and pieces to his friends, too. Doesn’t really expect any back though, used as he is to giving and never receiving.

He gives Steph a locket, when she tells him she’s pregnant, so she can keep a picture of the baby if she wants (or anything else if she doesn’t), even after giving him or her away. Steph doesn’t reciprocate since pregnant women are advised against molding and sharding their souls, in case it hurts the baby’s soul development. Then she ‘dies’, and after she comes back Tim is angry at her, and there’s never a right moment for her to give him a shard.

Cass… well, Cass is so touched when Tim gifts her a soul-made compass that always points towards the Manor (“So you can always find your way back home”), but her father has damaged her soul by throwing it around and dropping it a lot, on top of his emotional and physical abuse, and it’s just too bruised for her to give any away, though she promises herself she will the moment it’s healthy enough.

Tim’s team… God, his team. By this time, Tim is kinda concerned, because he gave too much recently and his soul is looking kinda… malnourished? small? He can’t really put a finger on it, and he’s worried his parents will notice, so he doesn’t give his team a shard at first.

It’s after his parents die (buried with the soul pieces Tim made for them, even if they never wanted to wear them) that he thinks ‘fuck it’ and, while hanging out with Kon and Bart, gatters courage and asks them what would they like.

After being reassured that he wants to do it, Kon shyly asks for an earing (of course he does) and Bart for a ring (kinda like his grandfather’s? few other things would stay on him at the speed he runs, too). They wished they could give back, but Kon, as a clone and alien, was created with a soul no one can touch, like a phantom light following him around, and Bart already told them how everyone in the future was born with theirs inside their bodies.

He sees the soul-made birdarang again, and that’s what cues him on the fact that Jason Todd came back to life. It’s colour had changed from blue to red, the only reason he recognized it was the tiny R he carved on the middle. He sees it close and personal when his former hero tries to gut him.

He gives Cassie a bracelet on Kon’s funeral. Turns around and leaves before she can say anything about it.

Tim lays in bed at night and remembers his mother’s words (“You stupid boy.”), and wonders what, indeed, is the danger of going soulless. He doesn’t know if it’s possible. His soul has shrunk, that’s obvious, but, thinking back on all the pieces he gave away, he should have run out of it a long time ago.

Bruce dies. Everyone whose soul he gave to are the ones that carry his casket. Damian and Tim are sitting on the front rows, but their lack of deep blue soulshards is telling.

Not too long after, Dick gives Damian a little Robin sky blue brooch, to fasten the cape of his new uniform with. Tim wears black and red, not a hint of shiny soul on him. He leaves Gotham and looks for Bruce.

Ra’s is the first person ever to inquire about his shocking lack of soulmade gifts. To wonder about the bruised state of his soul.

“The Pit could heal it, restore it to it’s former grandness” “I’ve seen what it did to the bit of my soul I gave to Jason… no thank you.” “You’ve given far too much. It’s state is sad enough a hundred cynics wouldn’t be able to describe it without bawling” “It wasn’t a matter of give, it was a lack of take. And it’s not like giving it away is the only abuse my soul had to endure.”

He brings Bruce back, but he’s so tired. His soul hasn’t been growing back on itself like it did the first few times he took from it.

The love he felt when someone smiled at his soul shards was what feed his soul, he realizes. It’s past malnourished at this point.

If he had enough soul left, maybe he’d have cared.

The final straw is Damian, of fucking course. He doesn’t even remember what the argument was about, even five minutes after it had ended. He simply didn’t care anymore. Something about Wayne Enterprises, the right heir, the blood son…

Tim blinks blankly at Damian, hand reaching inside his pocket, looking for the now tiny, ping pong ball- sized piece of soul. The last he had left.

Silently, he stopped Damian’s rant short by taking the gesturing teen’s hand mid air and holding it open, dropping the remains of his soul in it, and closing the now still fingers around it.

“There. Now you truly have everything that was mine. Happy?”

He turns away, and leaves. Damian stays behind, heart hammering away in his chest, clutching the tiny (too tiny) soul.

In different places, different people feel a sudden heat from the pieces of Tim’s soul they carry with them. Steph, Cass, Bruce, Kon, Bart, Dick, Jason, Alfred, Cassie… they all look for theirs.

The soul is now mostly red with flecks of black, very little of the icy blue remains. It’s a bleeding soul.

A dying soul.

“And what do you think will happen to you, if you are soulless?” Sorry, mom.

Apparently, decides Tim, dragging his hoodie over his head to hide his features as he boards the plane, you stop caring.

—–.—–

Did I make you cry? I made myself cry. Was gonna give this a happy ending but I HAVE TO STUDY, FUCKING FINALS.

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just-another-winchester · 6 years ago

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Spooky Supernatural Halloween Challenge

Welcome Ghouls and Goblins! To the Spooky Supernatural Halloween Challenge!

Is it still only the beginning of September? Yes! Does it seem a bit early for a Halloween Challenge? Not at all!

I wanna give you guys plenty of time to write, while also giving myself plenty of time. So Here’s the deal my dear participants…

You can do whatever! Pick your favorite horror movie and use that as inspiration! Got a song that makes ya feel spooky? Use that!

I dunno about you, but since It’s Halloween, this is obviously going to be angsty!

Or! You can be my fluffy pal and go for a trick or treat story!

Whatever floats your boat of course.

Beneath I have my rules and the basic happenings of this challenge! I hope you all participate in one way or another! Stay scary!

Rules and Regulations!

You do not have to follow me to join.

While this is an effort to get interactive with more of you, I do not want to force you into following me just to do something. I love the follow and I would totally appreciate, but, it is not a requirement.

2. This will be for Dean, Sam, Cas and Jack. It doesn’t have to be a pairing but those are the characters cause, I mean… it’s Supernatural, and Halloween… but I wouldn’t be opposed if you wanted to mix in the actors as the halloween plot.

3. Try and keep this to a one shot or drabble, sky is the limit with max but I would like at least 500 words pretty please!

4. Don’t forget to tag me!! In the A/N or wherever, just make sure you tag so I can read your beautiful Halloween stories! In the tags make sure to tag it K’s SSHC or Kayla’s Supernatural Spook Challenge!

5. You wanna join, you gotta ask, as in, ASK. The link it literally in the word. Cause that’s the way uh huh uh huh I like it!

6. If you are doing a pairing please remember to make it x reader and tell me who you are writing for, if you are not, please specify that you are not doing a pairing.

7. I have to wrack my brain to figure out what I can do for my NON writers out there, and so therefore, if you don’t wanna write, make me an aesthetic. Or I can pair you with someone who is writing and you can make the aesthetic for their story.

If you don’t wanna make an aesthetic, send in a Halloween prompt, I will either add it to the list or try and write it myself!

I have to level with ya’ll for a sec. I know I screwed up my 500 follower challenge and I’m really sorry about that, I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I was so exhausted and discouraged that I didn’t spend a lot of time on Tumblr, but I am going to MAKE SURE I see what you guys do this time around, I don’t care if you have to come to my house and smack me with a laptop, show me what you’ve done on behalf of this challenge.

If you guys don’t totally know what you want to write, ask me for some candy. I will send you a prompt or plot.

As you may have guessed, due date is indeed October 31st.

Prompts

1. Trick Or Treat @pheonyxstorm

2. Handing Out Candy @supernatural-jackles

3. Halloween Party

4. Monsters In The Closet @queen-of-deans-booty

5. Monsters under the bed @thisgingerlikescoffee

6. Haunted House

7. Body In the forest

8. Living Nightmare @just-another-busy-fangirl

9. Mr Magoos got some splaining to do - credit to @seenashwrite

10. What the hell is he fertalizing with? - credit to @seenashwrite

Plots

Stuck in your favorite horror movie

You’re trapped in the movie you’ve watched a hundred times over. Do you know it well enough to get out? @justanotherwriter-fangirl

2. Never follow a Black Cat.

You’ve heard bad luck with black cats, but you didn’t expect this to happen.

3. That’s Not A Costume

You’re talking to a friend when you realize, it’s not actually them @waywardnerd67

4. Make a Monster

You were just telling a story, you had no idea this would come of it.

5. Halloween Snowfall

You were excited and getting ready for Halloween when you look outside and see snow on the ground. Going to check the weather on your phone you see the date reads December 25th

6. The Pumpkin Carver - Credited to @seenashwrite

Every year you carve pumpkins for Halloween. Until they decided to give you a taste of your own medicine

Gonna tag some people for a boost!

@impala-dreamer @katymacsupernatural @queen-of-deans-booty @because-imma-lady-assface @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @just-another-busy-fangirl @squirrel-moose-winchester @supernatural-jackles @wi-deangirl77 @cass-trash @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @amanda-teaches @percywinchester27

#halloween challenge #supernatural #k's sshc #kayla's supernatural spook challenge

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whimsicorner · 6 years ago

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someone fancast bruce wayne with Godfrey Gao and I’m still thinking about it

(I can’t find the Godfrey Gao post atm so this is a different tangent)

anyway if I could change two things about Batfam, I would like if Jason and Tim could be southeast Asian kids (mixed or not) (I’m thinking Vietnamese), so that together with Cass they could share the bond of “not very connected to what’s supposed to be cultural heritage, but for wildly different reasons.” They might not have the same roots, but I feel like it would be nice to have? I don’t think David Cain is the kind of guy who would have taught Cass anything about anything (given the horrific childhood abuse and also: white dude), and given Jason and Tim’s childhoods I feel like it would easily fit for them to have things they picked up here and there, but big blank spaces in between (via losing things to assimilation or just plain not having enough time or someone to learn from).

I don’t know where to go with this since I’m mostly projecting a bit but. Hm. Putting the rest of this under a cut because it’s a ramble

I lean Vietnamese for the boys because I am also Viet. Jason gets it from Willis (second or third generation) and Catherine; Sheila is a question mark because she can probably stay as-is. Tim gets it from one parent (the other parent is white + Jewish, because I heard the Drakes are Jewish in canon, somewhere)

I think in this AU, Jason would probably retain the most--he’s not fluent in Vietnamese, but he understands and remembers it, can say a handful of words and his own name--his Viet name, because he has one even if I’m not confident enough to name him. (He can spell it too, but he has to double-triple check he got the tone marks in the right place). There’s vague memories of fun things--I like to think there was a little bit of time where things were good enough to do new year’s, with red envelopes and candy and ao dai and everything? They went to a new year’s thing and saw a dragon dance at least once; the next time he heard those drums as an adult he got surprisingly emotional about it. He knows what stuff is and can recognize if he sees it, but the farther he is from childhood, the less easily he can translate what things are in English (tfw you know what cha lua IS but you forget. how to explain.) Jason liked school and was good at it! He’s a smart lad! But I’m not sure if people would try to pin model minority stuff on him tbh, because of the street kid thing. maybe? I mean, kid from the streets thriving under good guardianship, that’s probably a good gossip magazine story.

Also I don’t know if Catherine would have kept up a family altar sort of thing, but I have vague dread about not being able to pay respects in the right way, so like, imagine Jason. He saw this stuff as a kid, but by the time he’s in a position to set up anything like it for his mom, he just? Doesn’t have anyone he feels comfortable asking about it and he’s not sure if he can do it right. Does he do it? Does he not do it? He just wants to remember his mom, do something for her. Maybe Bruce helps? Is this ok?

Tim’s parents weren’t around much and I’m guessing his extended family is? Estranged? where are they, DC? No one has an extended family? So like, he doesn’t have much--if he has a Viet name it wasn’t written down anywhere and it was hardly used due to chronic absence, if he ever spoke Viet he lost it by the time he was forming his earliest childhood memories, his parents mostly used English with each other and him. There’s a small handful of things--mostly food that he can’t name, occasionally music that he can’t understand; there’s maybe a handful of PR pictures of wee Timmy in a cute ao dai with his parents at new year’s, but like. Mostly his young life is filled with rich white American stuff and anything he learns is secondhand--not that his parents discouraged questions but they weren’t there to ask? He has a weird relationship with smart asian stereotype over time because haha, his grades. They are not the worst but. yea. no. Public school is probably better than boarding school, because I’m betting boarding school was a lot of rich white kids who--intentionally or unintentionally--made Tim awkwardly aware of being different. But being around other Viet kids is also kind of? strange? because some of them--they know who they are in a way that he doesn’t, they share experiences he doesn’t fully connect with. Even Jason knows more than Tim does, although they don’t stumble into that for a long while.

And Cass--she doesn’t have anything from her parents, or at least, not anything good. But I like to think that if she takes an interest then she’ll learn voraciously. Language, if she tries to tackle Chinese, is probably kind of a nightmare? Pretty, but also: different writing system, tones. Fun. Fantastic. I ran out of steam. I’m sorry Cass

Anyway. Tim, Jason, and Cass sharing this nebulous connection as Asian American kids adopted by the same guy. Different experiences, similar vibe?

Hm. I wonder if anyone tries to make a thing out of how Bruce is mostly adopting kids of color (assuming Bruce is still a white guy here). (Godfrey Gao as Bruce Wayne was Really Good Image)

also on a more shallow note, the idea of Tim and Jason with dark brown eyes....is good.

#batman au #batfam #im pretty americanized and anxieties make it hard for me to ASK QUESTIONS #so this is NOT A CONFIDENT AU I JUST WANT IT #i dont know how to do the marks and i don't wanna copy paste it #i had to wiki to make sure what the things are called im a disaster #headcanon #secondguessing myself because WHAT RIGHT HAVE I TO SPEAK AS IF I KNOW #both parents viet im just bad at Being #waffled over this post for so long that its past midnight whoops

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musingmycelium · 6 years ago

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MMMMM gonna be THAT person and ask alllll the questions for the quizzy as companion meme for whomever you desire :D

:0! under a read more for obvious reasons ljlkjlkjlkjkj

1, 8, and 9 answered here

2. How would they meet the Inquisitor? depends on how they came to the inquisition! if he came with idrilla, and honestly that means linayel too, then he would meet the quizzy upon arrival to skyhold, having sent word of their visit beforehand [though not too far before]. if by himself he would just show up and request audience with them -making himself available as an agent.

3. What would some of their cutscenes look like?!! his haven cutscene -if triggered with appropriate approval- would be in the woods outside the main settlement, he’d take the quizzy out into the quiet snow and share some dalish mead with them and offer conversation if they would like it and silence if they don’t. at the end he’ll tell them they were looking overwhelmed and taking a step back to breathe always aides with that.a high approval quizzy can get a cutscene at skyhold in the garden: da’ean tending plants until he notices quizzy walking over, at which point he’ll ask if quizzy has ever tended plants before and will offer to show them what he’s been growing.

4. What would their romance route look like? Would they be romancable?ever a quiet romantic da’ean is

5. If they romanced someone as Inquisitor, would they still fall for that person as a companion? How would that play out? How would they react to that person being romanced by the “new” Inquisitor?yes! so da’ean romances dorian and the iron bull in my canon, and depending on the quizzy he would romance an unromanced bull or dorian or both still. their relationship is pretty solid, though with da’ean as a companion there would be a few changes to their dynamic mostly in terms of da’ean doesn’t have to deal with the trauma of being quizzy lkjkljklj if either of them are romanced by the quizzy he’d approve so long as quizzy treats them well!

6. Write some of their party banter (in reaction to major events, scenery dialogue, or just shitting around. Askers can specify for which character/event, or leave it up to the writer).this honestly deserves a post of its own so like, i’ll do that.... later.....

7. What would be on their tombstone in the fade (what is their greatest fear)?da’ean’s tombstone read: Silenced and Forgotten

10. If Inquisition operated like DA:O, what would their gift items be? What would their approval and disapproval Feast Day items be?:o i don’t have the feast day dlc so i’ll skip that since i don’t have a base of ref for it lmao. his regular gift items would be flowers, dalish artifacts, and books. the two which would trigger cutscenes would be a small halla charm -a high approval quizzy would learn here about his sister, and an ancient looking book written in a mix of elvhen and arcaic tevene -da’ean would excitedly talk about it and with dorian’s help translate the book revealing it to be a dalish songbook.

11. How would they grow as a person? How would they compare at the end of the Inquisition as a companion to who they were as the Inquisitor?at the beginning da’ean is more reserved and less likely to actively engage with the quizzy, as he gets more comfortable and gets to know the quizzy he’ll open up quite drastically. in terms of character growth da’ean goes from someone who is still tied to the past and doesn’t look to the future into someone who actively makes the future the best it can be for himself and those he cares about -effectively taking his head out of his ass and learning to cope healthily with the past.

12. Do they believe the Herald of Andraste is really the Herald of Andraste?absolutely the fuck not. if the quizzy is also dalish there would be dialogue between them for how da’ean believes the quizzy is sent by mythal but otherwise no he doesn’t believe in the maker one whit, and andraste isn’t exactly in his good graces.

13. If the Herald didn’t have them tag along to prep the trebuchets, what would they do during the battle for Haven? (bonus: would they join in on the impromptu Dawn Will Come choir practice in the camp?)da’ean would organize the younger members of the inquisition and ensure they make it out of haven safely. and lmao he has a lovely singing voice but a chantry song will never fall from his lips

14. What nickname does Varric give them?songbird. which da’ean finds hilarious since his name means little bird

15. Without the influence of their decisions for the Inquisition, which of the companions do they get along with? Which ones do they bicker with?da’ean gets along well with bull and dorian [duh] and sera the best, though he is also friends with viv and solas and varric! he bickers the most with solas and cass.

16. What would the Fear Demon say to them in the Fade to try and discourage them?I HAVE. DIALOGUE I WROTE AGES AGO.... FROM MY LONGFIC SO I’M GONNA REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE THAT SHIT

“You’ll fail the Inquisition just like you failed your sister.” The silken voice of the Nightmare sent shivers running up Da’ean’s spine. He couldn’t explain the sense of wrong the voice gave him, even as the words it spoke wriggled their way into Da’ean’s thoughts like worms. The lie based on truth; how many times had he told himself it was his fault before, how many nights had he spent in fear of his own incompetence and inability to protect those he cared about. How long must he carry this guilt, a month ago he would have thought he would never be free of it. Helpless to his terror.

Now; as he saw the snarl on Dorian’s lips, the hard glint in Bull’s eye, the outrage pouring out from Solas’s entire body, he knew, he knew it was not through any fault of his own. His soiled past was not something he could change, but right here, right now, he could move on. He could chose to leave everything that burdened him in the hands of those who came with him. He could ease the burdens they carried without fear of making things worse.“Doubt me all you want, but you know the truth. It’s your fault the slavers caught her, and it will be your fault when Corypheus captures the world.” The Nightmare must be feeling desperate, it had already gone after Hawke and Stroud, and now it was focusing solely on Da’ean. The breath-warm air and disorienting light was causing him enough problems, but if the Nightmare grew bored of him, he would move on to his next target.

“If you think those are new thoughts Nightmare, you are dead wrong.” They were close, they had to be close to the rift. If Da’ean could hold his attention until they could flee, the rest of the part wouldn’t have to deal with it.“I’ve accepted my mistakes, I know what I’ve done.” The hard knot of old anxiety in Da’ean’s chest was gradually unravelling; his newfound beliefs, hard won and solid, slowing taking its place. “I am stronger for knowing myself, what about you Nightmare? What have you done that you regret, what things haunt your dreams?”

maker that’s old but i’m not gonna edit it bc i’m lazy and its late lkjljlkjklj

17. Where do they hang out in the Winter Palace? What’s their thoughts on the nobles/The Game?he’d be out on the open. area. thing??? where dorian is stan-THE COURTYARD, he’d be chillin in the courtyard. da’ean couldn’t give a nug’s ass about the nobles or the game and will show some harsh contempt for those in the palace with their noses in the air around him like he’s not even there.

18. What’s their reaction to a dragon showing up?“fuck this but also fuck this” and high fives bull

19. Once Corypheus is beaten, what do they do during the party? Do they stay with the Inquisition, or go somewhere else? What could the Inquisitor do to convince them to stay?during the party he’d be talking/drinking with sera and after the inquisition depends on his romance options. if he romanced dorian he’d follow him to tevinter bc Fuck You Bioware eat my entire ass to make sure he’s safe and to chill in the background since there’s no going back home. if he romanced bull or bull and dorian he would travel with the chargers as the newest member to the crew. a high approval quizzy could convince them to stay only if romanced

20. How do they react to learning abominations can retain their consciousness and identity, and even live peacefully with their spirits/demons, as seen in Stone-Bear Hold?psst. pssssssst... the dalish already know and you can take that hc from my cold dead hands.... BUT he’d be excited to see it recognized and would want to talk with the augur extensively

21. What do they think of the discoveries made in the Deep Roads? Do they make any comments on anything?Buck Fuckin Wild is da’ean’s take on the deep roads. he doesn’t like the claustrophobic feel they give him, he does have Some Thoughts on the titans and talks about them with idrilla.

22. If you have another Inquisitor, how would those two get along, specifically?UUUHHHHH i have his older sister idrilla who isn’t a quizzy normally but in an au she might have been the quizzy and they get along great!

23. In trespasser, what “gift” would they give the Inquisitor, if any?a halla charm! one linayel carved for just this purpose and it’s threaded on a strip of leather.

24. What are their plans for after the Exalted Council? Will the Inquisition staying in tact or being disbanded make a difference?he goes back to doing what he was doing before it, it doesn’t change much unless he was romanced and then its dependant on player choice

25. In the alternate reality, if they were corrupted with lyrium, how do they act? What’s their attitude about the end of the world/their inevitable death? oh fuck da’ean would fall deeper into depression, lose all sense of time/meaning and he would just end up with total and complete apathy

#OWEN #I'M GONNA DIE #HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #THANK YOU I LOVE YOU #thanks for the ask!#my ocs #da'ean lavellan #goblin-deity

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ditzydiitsi · 6 years ago

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1. If not for the Conclave, what would drive your character to join the Inquisition? alex has a later entrance, like cole or dorian—she offers her services as one of the higher up carta bosses for lyrium smuggling for the inquisition, since you’re going to need it for mages or templars either way 2. How would they meet the Inquisitor? when deb caridin (yes, that caridin, but she was cast to the surface for other reasons) finds herself booked for an audience with a mob boss, she wasn’t really expecting... alex. sophisticated, feral alex. hair trailing on the floor and a ring on each finger, deb was probably quite taken aback. 3. What would some of their cutscenes look like? alex likes to hang out in implausible locations, so a lot of her cutscenes would require deb actually getting to her. in haven, that means finding alex climbing the frozen waterfall, or on some buildings accessible by ladder. in skyhold, it means finding her on the turrets, or hanging out in the garden with her plants. 4. What would their romance route look like? Would they be romanceable? not romanceable. 5. If they romanced someone as Inquisitor, would they still fall for that person as a companion? How would that play out? How would they react to that person being romanced by the “new” Inquisitor? deb is like 45 so i dont think shed go after sera and yes, alex would still date sera. theyre baby gays. smoochy smoochy 6. Write some of their party banter (in reaction to major events, scenery dialogue, or just shitting around. Askers can specify for which character/event, or leave it up to the writer). in a cave: Starting to get claustrophobic in here. in Val Royeaux: Do you think any of the nobles would scream if I just... rubbed mud all over my face? seeing a dragon: Holy shit?! Oh Stone. Oh, Maker, oh, Stone, that’s a motherfucking dragon. at the Winter Palace: Y’know... don’t tell anyone else, but this stuff? It’s alright with me. in the Fade (if already encountered a dragon): shit, can we go back to the dragon? Thanks. (if not encountered a dragon): *shivers* I’m really not supposed to be here, you know. 7. What would be on their tombstone in the fade (what is their greatest fear)? Forgetting 8. What kind of Inquisitor would drive them to leave the Inquisition/confront them about their actions (what gets their approval low? what does that scene look like)? an inquisitor that wasnt interested in making deals with shady criminals, for instance. or an inquisitor that only saw alex as a carta asset 9. Where in Skyhold would they be found? (e.g. Cole is in the tavern rafters, Leliana in the top of the tower, Varric in the throne room, etc.) see 3 10. If Inquisition operated like DA:O, what would their gift items be? What would their approval and disapproval Feast Day items be? gift items: plant cutting, toy rocking horse, bottle of champagne, carved gem feastday items: red lyrium stone, Pet Elfroot (player nameable; sits on the gazebo railing in the garden) 11. How would they grow as a person? How would they compare at the end of the Inquisition as a companion to who they were as the Inquisitor? at the beginning of inquisition she’s cold, feral, and more than a little hostile (a sane inquisitor would kick her out, but she can provide valuable resources, so). at the end of inquisition (her “personal quest” per se is to assassinate the head of the carta. she can then either be persuaded to take their place, or disband them), she’s either harnessing the full power of the carta for the inquisition with no pulling stops, or forming an elite scouting team to get the same effect 12. Do they believe the Herald of Andraste is really the Herald of Andraste? She knows they’re... special, but no. She is a follower of the stone, even though she thinks deep down that the stone has rejected her 13. If the Herald didn’t have them tag along to prep the trebuchets, what would they do during the battle for Haven? (bonus: would they join in on the impromptu Dawn Will Come choir practice in the camp?) she shows up once u get to skyhold actually so um we 14. What nickname does Varric give them? yall dont @ me but.... Pebbles. or prongs, cause of her daggers 15. Without the influence of their decisions for the Inquisition, which of the companions do they get along with? Which ones do they bicker with? gets along w dorian, bull, sera, varric, and, surprisingly, viv. only sometimes, though. doesnt get along w solas, cole, cass, or cullen. wary around leli. likes josie okay. blackwall shes neutral on. 16. What would the Fear Demon say to them in the Fade to try and discourage them? that no matter what she does, she’s already forgotten her mother’s voice, her family’s laugh, her home, and some day, she won’t even know that she’s forgotten 17. Where do they hang out in the Winter Palace? What’s their thoughts on the nobles/The Game? Alex hangs out in the garden, duh. She can be found talking with the servant that cultivates the roses, discussing the best ways to allow them to flourish (if inq passes without saying anything to her, snippets of their conversation can be heard). Alex LOVES the lavish life but hates The Game—it’s stupid petty bullshit and she just wants to drink champagne and wear heels without worrying about whether her neighbor is going to stab her. 18. What’s their reaction to a dragon showing up? alex voice: i- kdsfjhsdkfjhsdkjsfd?????? is h. is he like. gonna kill us 19. Once Corypheus is beaten, what do they do during the party? Do they stay with the Inquisition, or go somewhere else? What could the Inquisitor do to convince them to stay? She either wants to leave to lead the carta or her elite scouts, but the inquisitor can persuade her to stay and continue using her talents (and also through some money negotiations) 22. If you have another Inquisitor, how would those two get along, specifically? deb and alex are... at odds, at best. deb sees alex as a lost little sheep that just needs some nudging, and in some ways, she kind of is. alex sees deb as an overbearing mother that doesn’t know what she’s been through. theyre both right, and through some arguing and loyalty questing, they manage to come to some sort of truce.

#i couldnt remember the others/didnt play trespasser so shrug #long post #oc tag #shouts #dragon age #dragon age inquisition

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shroudingmists · 6 years ago

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Dance — One muse gives their partner a lap dance

There were so many possibilities for this one, I’m gonna’ SCREAM.

I’m also starting to link to my kids, ‘cause I should’ve been doing that before!! Hhh. How do write.

Oh shit–this is gonna’ be a long one, I can feel it. I’ve wanted to write this one for ages, and it’s the perfect platform. Yeezus take the wheeeeeel.

————————–

Tipping his head to the side, Narcissus squinted heavily at the man across from him. Tapping the annoyingly sharp point of his pencil against his paper, he watched. And tapped.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?” Cass spoke calmly, with frankly annoying patience.

He had been trained, nearly from an egg, to attend to his needs.

Whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

To never talk back, to never question him.

It never used to annoy him, really, but now…

“No,” the man snapped, icily as ever. There were so many things that he just didn’t…get, now. Everything had changed. And so too, did he have to change. For the most part? He hated it. Hated how they smiled, how they moved so flawlessly of their own accord.

He hated how happy they were.

“Sir,” the Fae murmured, pressing in his own way. To his boundary, as much as he was ‘allowed.’ It made Narcissus nearly sick to his stomach, for so many reasons. Some, he also didn’t understand.

I don’t understand damn near anything anymore.

“You’re ripping into your paper, sir,” Cass spoke, quietly, eerily bright eyes flicking down. The former Flower chewed his lip, and dug the pencil in deeper out of spite.

“Why did you come back?”

Cass had been trained never to react noticeably. To be the aid of a Flower meant to be neutral, unassuming, and above all–deadly efficient. It meant many things, many of them explained to Narcissus at a young age.

He hated that, too.

Slowly, the Fae dropped his pencil, and steepled his fingers. Narcissus’ shoulders hitched in anticipation, his entire body tense as always.

I hate it. I can’t read him. I can’t…I can’t…I don’t understand anything, I don’t…

“Because I wanted to.”

The Skydancer’s eternal frown deepened. “Don’t lie to me. You’re not allowed to lie to me, I–”

“Sir. With all due respect, you underestimate me.”

Narcissus flinched. He’d never talked back like that before–if that could even be called talking back, by his standards. Gripping the edge of his seat as if it were his lifeline, his entire body nearly folded in on itself in an ugly hunch.

“I would never lie to you,” Cass’ calculating voice continued, those eyes boring into his own–even if they were heavily diverted to keep a chill going down his spine.

I’m pathetic. Acting this way in front of my own attendant. You were not taught to act like this, you–

“You’re berating yourself again, sir,” Cass breathed. And then, something…

His eyebrow…it’s…?

And indeed, his eyebrow had furrowed…a fair bit, at that. He was…

“Are you raising your eyebrow at me?”

Cass, about to speak, froze in place. Straightening his expression, and himself, he took a sadly unnecessary breath.

“Forgive me, if you find it in yourself to do so. Perhaps it’s time I train with our associates, once more. It has been a while,” a rare tint of inflection hinted into his voice, making Narcissus shiver just a bit.

“…what kind of training is it?”

You’re so stupid. You know damn well what–

“Hm? Oh, the usual. As you would’ve learned in your studies,” Cass interrupted his master’s thoughts out of habit–all the while teasing him in his own way. “Physical fitness. Meditation. Weapons training. I’ve fallen behind, I’m afraid. I wasn’t worthy of–”

“Don’t you dare say it!” Narcissus finally burst, nearly exploding out of his seat to slam his hands on the desk. Pointing accusingly at the man across from him, his entire body shook. “You did everything in your power! Don’t make me say that again, you–you!” he heaved, feeling suddenly heavy and unhinged.

I never used to act like this. I was never short with him, I never rose my voice.

Cheeks suddenly wet, the Skydancer heaved a helpless sob. Cass only watched, but oh so obviously from the edge of his own seat.

“I had to watch you die, you useless thing! You fought them all by yourself! You stupid, brave, useless thing!” he continued, voice rasping with effort. The tears fell freely now, cheeks red with the exertion of something he’d never, not ever been allowed to do. “Even when they cut your side, you kept going! You were beautiful, and deadly, and brave! Stupid!” the man’s words stumbled out in a stream between sobs.

Cass lowered his head, only slightly, as he listened.

“They caught me just as you fell to the Gardener,” Narcissus sniffled, lip trembling so hard that it made his lip quiver as well. “The look in your eyes, I…”

And he fell to his knees in a great heap, eyes rolling so far back that Cass knew this time that he had to move. Shoving the small table aside, he just barely caught the man to prevent his head cracking off the ground–arms wrapping protectively tight as his body went briefly limp.

“Sir…S–sir…” the Fae found the facade hard to keep up in light of the situation, his cool hand tapping his master’s cheek rapidly with just enough force to bring him back to. It was lucky that he hadn’t fully fainted however, his eyes rolling back to normal with a few good tries.

“That’s the first…time I heard you stutter…”

The spirit twisted his head a bit, almost quizzically.

“It’s…cute.”

“Oh. Ah…well…” he trailed off, quietly, obediently.

Narcissus gripped his arm tight, swallowing as he suddenly lurched and burrowed into the Fae’s chest. Nervous and unsure, Cass simply laid his arms across his shoulders as the former Flower sobbed wildly against him.

“I found…my coat, in your room. You hadn’t even washed it, the blood was still…”

“Don’t say it,” Narcissus hiccuped messily. “It’s not…I mean, I–”

“I’m honored that you kept it. But who–?”

“The leader. The one you met first. He saw how distraught I was over you, and…he took your coat for me,” the Skydancer admitted shyly, trying desperately to control his breathing. “It was all I had left, I…the first days were a blur. I didn’t notice anything. They said I refused to eat for three days. That I held that coat for dear life, slept, and nothing more. When we finally did speak, he said he gave it to me because he knew I needed it.”

“…needed it?”

Narcissus swallowed. “Don’t make me spell it out, idiot. You were…you and I, I–”

Get it together. This isn’t how you were raised, you–

“Without you, I was nothing. The smell of tea in the morning was gone. Your incessant patience, gone. The way you cared for me, gone. Everything was gone, and I was pathetic,” he spat, shaking his head frantically. Gripping the man’s vest in both hands, he forced their gazes together.

And the look in Cass’ eyes was beyond anything he’d ever seen before in their years together.

O–oh…it’s so…warm.

He was smiling. Truly smiling. It was small, polite, but…

“…Narcissus.”

…what did he just–?

“Forgive me.”

And suddenly, their lips were together. He’d dreamed of it, so often…so often, that it physically hurt him more than once. How many times had he thought of the two of them together like…that? With his coat wrapped around his prone and shaking body? How many times had he come with his name on his lips?

He didn’t fight as their tongues touched, slipping together effortlessly, as if they were meant to do so. He was still trembling, shivering desperately–especially as the Fae’s arms slipped down to wrap around his waist.

When he could breathe again, he noted that it was no longer frantic. Blinking, teary-eyed, his thick eyelashes fluttered.

“…is that a little better?”

Dumbly, Narcissus nodded. Swallowing, he peered at the scene around him. “Well, this is stupid.”

Cass laughed, softly–his voice airy, sweet, so…oh.

“Did you learn to dance, too?” he asked suddenly, dreamily.

“Hm? Oh, yes. Every day. Especially when you taught, of course. I watched. Do you want to see?”

Cass gently lifted Narcissus, a man quite taller than him, with the greatest ease–settling him neatly back into his chair. Kneeling at his lap, he gazed up with honest curiosity in his eyes.

Sniffling, dabbing at his face with a handkerchief he found Cass had pressed into his hand, he laughed wryly. “You. Dancing. I can scarcely imagine it.”

“There was one I was particularly fond of, when you taught the elder Children,” his attendant hummed thoughtfully, as he took a step back. Removing his suit coat, he looked down to his hands–peeling his gloves off with surprising ease. This was unprecedented. Never will you present yourself as anything less than perfect to your Flower. “It was beautiful, heartbreakingly so.”

Narcissus’ pupils reacted, quite viscerally, in realization.

The way he moved was as effortless as any of the Fireflies’. He was a warrior, above all else. He’d been trained as such.

However…

When Cass moved his hips like that, he wondered. And when they moved just above his own, his breath hitched.

“Tease them, just like this. Make them desire you, and only you. Make them believe that you are the only two in the room. That’s what you told them, every time. You danced for them, like this. Every time. The boys were hard by the time you were done…the girls, so wet…and you always smiled, so sweetly.”

Holy shit. He’s…gods above, you dumb bird, keep your head on straight. You know this game, you invented it. But he–he’s…

He danced, exquisitely, above his lap–just as he’d learned. Softly, Narcissus whimpered. In such a state, he couldn’t resist. Arching his hips, he sighed–breathlessly, as Cass moved just out of reach.

“And you told them to by coy, do you remember? To push away wandering hands, until later. You told them to enjoy…”

But it was too much. When their lips found their way together again, he knew: it was all over.

He knew, in that moment, that he loved him. Such a love was inappropriate, discouraged, but it felt so…

And it was his thoughts that were interrupted–by a cold hand down the back of his pants. A startled squeak, and Narcissus smiled triumphantly.

“Take me. Now.”

The Fae’s eyes glimmered in the low light, that ghost of a ghostly smile playing his lips once more. Even as Narcissus stood, leaning his entire upper body over the edge of the table they’d been working at. Not once did it disappear from his handsome face, not even as they coupled–quickly, hotly, messily–for what seemed like hours.

And when his own legs shook with effort, Narcissus only spread his once more.

“What’s wrong? Is this training too hard for you?” the man asked, breathily.

Cass chuckled.

“Training. Of course.”

And he kissed him again, enveloped blissfully into the arms of the man he…

I love him. I won’t deny it any longer. Things are different. We are…free…we are free, now.

“Please,” Narcissus whimpered, eagerly.

“Gladly, my Flower.”

Hissing, his lover stole the words from his lip with a stifling kiss.

Ah, yes…Narcissus. No longer a Flower. But my flower…always my flower.

#Xem Tag #The Golden Firefly Dance Troupe #C: Narcissus #C: Cass #:v OMIGOD THEY'RE OFFICIAL WOO??#Also: FEELS TRAIN HOOOO #I LOVE THEEEM AAAA PICKLEFARTS #I'M SCREAMIN' WHERE DID THIS ALL COME FROM #MY SHOULDERS ARE KILLING MEEE-HEE-HEE

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novamm66 · 7 years ago

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Red Sky in the Morning - Chapter VI

I wasn't going to post this chapter until I finished the chapter I am working on currently but the events of yesterday made me realize I am silly to wait. You never know what will happen.

Thank you so very much for the likes, and every wonderful comment.

I am grateful for all of you. Without the support of this community I would have never started writing.

Here is the Link for the Master Post for Red Sky if you would like to check it out from the beginning.

Re blogs are much apprecated.

More is revealed about Kiaya's secrets while she dreads making the decisions that will affect the history of Thedas.

“Maker, I cannot wait for a real bed.”

Kiaya looked up from the report she was reading and grinned at the beginning of the familiar complaints from the Seeker.

“Really, Seeker? No one would ever guess how much you dislike sleeping on the ground.” Varric rolled his eyes.

Kiaya couldn’t hide her giggle at Cassandra’s familiar grunts of disgust at the dwarf, and she knew she had to interrupt before their nightly ritual of bickering got started. “A long ride will put us back in Haven tomorrow. Then Cass will get her bed, Varric will have real food from a real kitchen, and I will get to be clean once more.”

“And then Chuckles will be the one wishing to be somewhere else,” Varric added. Solas looked up from the mending he was doing and smiled at the dwarf. No matter how hard he tried, Varric could never get the elf to rise to his bait.

She had learned a lot about her companions’ quirks in the many weeks that had followed her recruitment to the Inquisition. They had left Haven a few days after she had woken up and they had been on the move ever since. The Hinterlands were in more chaos than the reports had first made apparent, and it had taken much longer to put things back to right. Thankfully, both she and Cassandra had agreed that things needed to be taken care of before returning to Haven. It had made denying the adviser’s pleas, and the eventual orders to return to Haven, easier to ignore. Once things had settled down they had only stayed in Haven a few days to report in and resupply, then they were off to Val Royeaux via the Storm Coast. The whole thing had been exhausting and it left Kiaya with a very uncomfortable situation to face when they did arrive in Haven.

Her attention was caught again as Cassandra and Varric started arguing in earnest. They never really stopped picking at each other, and Kiaya was starting to wonder why. She finished going over the last report, added her notes to the bottom and slipped it into the completed packet. She stretched her arms above her head and rolled her shoulders and back into the log she was leaning on. Solas raised his brows at the symphony of pops and cracks coming from her spine and legs.

“By the sounds of it ma' falon, you are the one who needs a proper bed,” Solas commented with a smile.

“Oh, I have always sounded like that. I think it’s more the fact that I sit all hunched over so much and my posture is dreadful.” Kiaya stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back against the log that she and Solas were sharing. She gasped as her knee clicked and popped sideways and then back again. “Fasta Vass, my knees.”

Solas’ lips twitched at the explanation but it was an opening. “I know that you have refused my assistance, but I cannot help but offer again. I have watched you throughout our journeys and you keep pushing yourself. I only wish to help, please, let me have a look and see if there is anything I can do.”

She snorted and then sighed, shaking her head, “I know you think I am just being pig-headed. Fuck, I know I am being pig-headed, but others have tried to help before and it hasn’t really...”

Her deflection was interrupted as they both turned to watch Cassandra storm off, then they stared at Varric.

“What?”

“Look you, I don’t know what you have said now, but I’m not going to calm her down tonight. I’m tired and I hurt. Go say you are sorry and mean it, you fucking smart ass.”

Varric howled with laughter until Kiaya quickly joined in and even Solas started to smile. “Alright Smudges, I’m going. I’m going.” Varric got to his feet as she started tossing small stones across the fire at him. He quickly disappeared into the growing shadows.

“That dwarf is insanely light on his feet. Anyway, I should get some sleep.”

“Not before you tell me how your knees became so damaged.”

Kiaya levelled a dry look at the elf.

Solas’ stare was drier. “You need treatment, and I need to understand what to treat.” Kiaya fought and failed to hide the painful memories flashing across her mind. She closed her eyes and hugged her knees to her chest despite their screams of protest. Solas placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not weakness to accept help. All those people that you helped, do you see them as weak? Then it is not a weakness in you.” She felt another spasm of pain in her chest and she saw Ja’rell’s face flicker across her memory.

“Kiaya, look at me.“ Solas squeezed her shoulder until she turned and met his eyes. “I just need to know the physical effects and anything you used for treatment would help also. I do not believe you have anything to be ashamed of, however,” Solas paused as she tried to pull away “It is your story to share.”

She could see nothing but the concern on his face, concern and a sadness that she didn’t understand. The throb in her knees was the final push she needed.

“Alright Solas, I agree. I will tell you what you need to know.” She took a deep breath as she slowly smoothed magic into her knees to dull the pain. “But you are not looking at them until we are back at Haven. Tonight I am too tired and too sore.”

“I will settle for information for now then.” Solas settled back on his seat and continued working on his mending.

Kiaya released her hold on her knees and eased them flat once more. She ran her hands over her knees again, something she had done many times over the last couple of weeks. She idly started manipulating the frost crystals, like she was sketching with ice. It took her a long time to speak.

“I was very young when my mother figured out something was wrong. My knees would come apart at the slightest thing all the time. As I grew it became daily. I guess they didn’t form properly or something. Grams and Papa made braces for my legs and they helped while I had them.” Kiaya fell silent as she carefully picked through her memories. “When I was eighteen I, fell, badly, and caused a lot of damage to the left one.” Fuck, lie better. She forged on into the harder stuff, “By twenty-two, I couldn’t walk without pain and stairs...” She swallowed. “A Dalish healer who I met in the circle convinced me that he could help me if he opened them up. And he did: it worked, sort of. It gave me back my ability to move. However, they are far from pain-free. Cold weather or damp makes them ache, which is ironic cause I use cold to treat them.” She smiled sadly as she smoothed another layer of numbing cold over her legs, then she stared into the fire for several moments, listening to the crack and hiss of steam escaping the logs. “I try to not push them too hard.” Solas snorted. “Well, maybe I don’t try very much. And I take things for the pain but mostly I just live with it. It’s all I know, really.”

Kiaya could feel his eyes as he silently waited for her to continue. When the silence had stretched and it became obvious that she wasn’t going to say any more Solas spoke, “I am-”

“Don’t. Just don’t. Don’t be sorry, don’t pity me, don’t treat me like this somehow makes me less.” She shuddered at the bitterness in her own voice.

“I was going to say, I am glad you shared this with me. It gives me a good idea how to help you and where to look for more information. We will discuss it more once I have had a chance to do some research.”

Kiaya couldn’t help but chuckle at the poorly hidden eagerness in the elf’s voice. The first thing that she figured out about Solas, in fact the only thing she had learned about the mysterious mage, was that he love of puzzles and research. But his research was in the fade. It was fascinating.

She winced as her knees throbbed through the chill of the healing spell. Well, that was a short relief. Maybe he will have better luck finding something to help. It had taken days for her legs to get used to walking distances again, and all of her willpower to keep going. She had spent nights silently shaking in the tent she shared with Cassandra, trying not to wake the other woman. Time passed and her legs had gotten stronger and used to it and the pain lessened. But now they had horses, and while her feet and back were very grateful to not be running all over the hills, sitting on horseback was very uncomfortable and would take getting used to. Maybe he can at least make them adapt faster. Kiaya sighed.

Her discouraged line of thinking was interrupted by Cassandra striding through camp and straight into their tent. Shortly after that Varric sauntered back to the fireside, looking like the cat that got into the cream.

“Please tell me you didn’t piss her off more.”

“I was the perfect gentleman, I swear.” Varric was looking particularly smug.

She didn’t have the energy so she let the subject drop. “Who has first watch?”

Varric chuckled. “Me of course, Seeker’s orders.”

“And I will take the next.” Solas rose to his feet, and nodding his head at the two still seated, and disappeared towards the tents.

Silence fell around the camp, and even the fire seemed to be trying to be quiet. Kiaya didn’t make a move toward the tents. For all that she was exhausted, she could not stop her mind from running in circles, her demons whispering dark thoughts in her ear. She started to go over the events at Val Royeaux and Redcliffe. She felt lost and overwhelmed, but she knew upon their return to Haven she was going to have to make a choice and it was not one she was looking forward to making.

You’re going to make so many people angry. It will make him angry.

She had been scared to face Cullen after her horrible behaviour in the glen. It had seemed like a good idea to simply avoid him, and since he didn’t seem eager to approach her either, it was easy to leave for the Crossroads without apologizing like she should have. She felt shame every time she thought of the hurt on his face when she had snapped at him. She thought of him a lot and dreamed of him more then she would admit to anyone. Now she was going to probably push him farther away.

It’s not about him.

But you want it to be.

“So, Herald,” Varric’s voice cut through the thoughts fogging Kiaya’s mind.

“Don’t call me that,” Kiaya voice was heavy with sadness.

“I just wanted to get your attention. I’ve seen that look before.”

“What look? I don’t have a look.”

“Yes, you do. It’s the ‘I-am-picking-apart-every-bad-choice-and-mistake-I-have-ever-made-and-blaming-myself’ look. Now, why aren’t you sleeping?”

Kiaya eyes were unfocused as she started to draw in the dirt with her fingers.

“You’re not looking forward to returning to Haven tomorrow.” It wasn’t a question. She shrugged and hunched her shoulders more, trying to make herself smaller.

Moments passed while she stared at nothing until Varric broke the silence again. “You’ve seemed more comfortable recently, more open.” Varric pulled out a flask from somewhere, crossed to sit at her side and handed it to her. “Why the difference now?”

Solas would have left her to brood, Cass would start to fuss and threaten, but Varric would not take ‘fuck off’ for an answer. He was all kindness and comedy, putting people at their ease and plying them with liquor. Kiaya had come to trust him the first night he had found her panicking in the bushes, giving her paper to draw on and calming her down. He had kept that information about her to himself, and had given her paper and pen every time he recognized the panic shaking her hands.

Kiaya knew he was determined to get information. He just sat at her side, waiting and passing the drink back and forth. It was a horribly effective method to get her to talk. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Everyone looks at me differently in Haven, like I am something special, Andraste’s Herald, whatever that means. It’s... I don’t like what that feels like.”

“All the hard work that you have done for folks here has caused a lot of talk about you as well. How is that different?”

“I’m not crazy about that either but at least that is for honest work, or at least I can pretend that it is.” she saw Varric grin out of the corner of her eye. “I’m not a good choice for a religious figure.”

“Who is? You’re not a believer then.”

“No, well, sort of.” She chuckled at the warmth the alcohol had brought to her cheeks and her inability to form words. She glanced sideways at Varric. He face was open, honest, with his ever-present cheeky grin. She sighed and looked back into the fire.

“My grandfather was, but he never spoke of it. It was something private to him, I guess. My mother was the same; although, after the travelling Mother told her I was an abomination to the Maker she stopped attending any sermons.”

“Because of your magic?”

Kiaya snorted. “No, because I was a bastard. Apparently, being born to an unwed mother was enough to damn me apparently.”

“And your Grams was elven”

She was in the process of finished the contents of the flask and at the blunt statement from the dwarf, she almost choked on the mouthful.

“Oh come now, did you really think we didn’t pick up on that slip? Not to mention, they don’t teach elven water magic in the circles.” Varric waved a dismissive hand at Kiaya’s startled face.

“Fine, yes, my grandmother was elven. I was hoping you had missed that detail. Anyway, my early years were spent learning from my grandmother, but after she passed,” Her voice faded as her eyes misted lightly. “I was left to find my own way.”

Kiaya’s insides were warm and fuzzy. It was a nice feeling, and the walls she had built to hide herself were weakening. Be careful what you say next.

“So being called the Herald of Andraste bothers you, but you hide it. Why?”

She picked at some non-existent dirt on her leg, “I know that people need hope and something to believe in when the world gets ripped apart. I just wish...” Her voice went soft, unable to voice regret.

“You wish you had something to believe in and you can’t believe in yourself.”

Damn, he is good. Kiaya met the eyes of the dwarf, seeing only sympathy and kindness.

“I’m trying,” She whispered.

“Well Smudges, if you can’t that’s ok. Just keep doing what you have been doing. It seems to be working. Now, do I have to drag you to your bedroll and tie you in it? We have all the watches covered, Seeker’s orders again, so you are to sleep. Or do I have to pour you another drink?” Varric theatrically flourished yet another flask that seemed to appear magically in his hand.

“Oh no, I have had enough; much more and I won’t wake up until noon.”

“I will keep that in mind for when we are back in Haven. You could use a long rest.”

She stuck her tongue out at the dwarf, a childish gesture but one that she never seemed able to stop doing, as she slowly got to her feet. The alcohol had fuzzed out enough of the aches in her back and knees and muted the doubts and self-loathing that she had been tormenting herself with earlier.

The two froze as they heard hoof beats on the road. It was very late for travellers. Kiaya reached for the dagger she always had on her and Varric picked up Bianca from where he had placed her. They both waited in silence for the approaching horseman. There was a notable exhale of relief around the fire when the rider’s insignia came into the light.

“Herald, I am glad I have caught you. I have a message for you.”

As the messenger dismounted Kiaya turned away, taking a moment, she closed her eyes, touching the locket lightly and bowing her head.

“Deep breathe Smudges. You’re ok.” Her eyes snapped open to stare at him. Varric was studiously not looking at her, having magically produced a notebook, pencil and reading glasses while her attention was elsewhere. She watched him as his pencil started to scratch across the page.

Kiaya could hear the scout’s approaching footsteps behind her, just as she began to turn away he smirked and flashed her a wink. She greeted the scout with a smile in her eyes, accepting the letter from his hand.

“Thank you. Are you resting or do you need to return tonight?”

“Your response must be returned tonight, Ser. I will water my horse and leave as soon as you have written a reply.”

Kiaya sank down onto the log next to Varric. As she broke the seal she shivered as she recognized the Commander’s strong handwriting.

Moments passed with nothing more than the pop and hiss of the fire burning low, and Varric pretending not to try and angle a peek at the letter.

Kiaya swore, softly but louder then she intended, glancing guiltily in the direction that the scout had gone. She groaned, “No rest for us yet. Maker’s tits, that is in the complete opposite direction.” She scrambled to pick up the map that she carried. She still found land travel confusing: every hill and tree looked exactly the same, and she had no idea how to judge distances on land yet so she was never far from a map.

“So we are not heading back to Haven in the morning then?”

“No we are not. Short notes, some of our soldiers have gone missing and they found more rifts in a place called...” She paused as she tried to find it on the map, “Fallow Mire. Who names a place that? That sounds fucking awful.”

Kiaya continued to read as she paced back and forth before the fire until she reached the last paragraph which caused her to stop dead in her tracks.

“You’re blushing Smudges, what’s up?”

“I...ah... It’s nothing. Shit. The Commander will be joining us. Fucking shit. He wishes to oversee the recovery of his men himself.” She pretended not to see the sparkle in the dwarf’s eye as she swallowed, her throat suddenly very dry. “He and the others will be joining us there. We should make it to the base camp before tomorrow night and they should get there the evening after.”

Kiaya quickly pulled out parchment and scrawled a hasty response to be sent back with the scout. She was studiously ignoring Varric’s pointed looks. She really believed that she had kept her preoccupation and occasional daydreams about the Commander hidden. But Varric was more than she bargained for. That damn dwarf can read my mind. I am not thinking of him. Stop smirking at me. “Can you inform Solas when you change watch and ask him to inform Cass when she wakes up? It’s still going to be an early morning; we have a lot of ground to cover.”

She finished writing and sealed the letter, handing it to Varric, “Please give this to the scout. I am heading to bed.” Not giving Varric a chance to ask questions she turned on her heels, and walked to her tent. As she ducked inside she could hear the dwarf chuckling behind her.

Kiaya smiled as she entered the tent and found Cass taking up both bedrolls. Kiaya wiggled her way into her own bedroll, doing as little as possible to disturb the Seeker. As soon as she was settled, she could feel the waves of sleepiness aided by the alcohol from earlier.

As she drifted off to sleep her dreams were flooded with amber eyes and a voice as smooth as smoke.

#dragon age inquisition #dragon age fanfic #Kiaya Trevelyan #varric tethras #solas

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renaroo · 7 years ago

Text

Promises (8/30)

Disclaimer: Batman and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: One Year Later/Evil Cass allusions Rating: T Synopsis: For an entire year after the Crisis which threatened to wipe everything they knew and loved off the Earth, after so many hardships and loved ones lost, Cass and Tim find themselves battling on different sides of the globe not only for the fate of what’s left of the world, but for the sake of once again feeling purpose. [A One Year Later fixer upper]

A/N: This chapter took a while but Cass chapters always come out a bit thicker and more in-depth than Tim chapters. CAN’T IMAGINE WHY. But it’s finally here and I can’t thank you all enough for your patience!

Special thanks to @mitchthebat and @secretlystephaniebrown on tumblr, ffnet, and AO3 for the feedback and support!

A Detective Without Words

There was no confidence in Cass’ own voice as she read out the words. There should have been. After all she had struggled through, after how hard they had worked in the last few days to make up for all the time they were about to lose — Cass should have found confidence in her own words. But still the tremble remained. The thoughtful pauses.

“She… sells… s…s…seeeeeshells… at the… seeeeee… sh… sh…” Cass stopped herself and took a breath, closing her eyes. She knew those letters. She could put them together. She could parse the sounds, but when put together it was so hard. So hard to— Her eyes snapped open and Cass looked reluctantly toward Helena.

The Huntress was taking notes, eyes on her clipboard rather than Cassandra. In the first few lessons that hadn’t been the case, she was very firm in watching Cassandra, encouraging her whenever necessary. And Cass used that to her advantage — reading Helena’s responses so carefully and so quickly she hardly had a stutter in reading.

Somehow Helena caught on. Cassandra hedged her bets on Barbara informing her of Cass’ abilities and how Cass could put them to creative use in order to avoid the frustratingly difficult tasks awarded to her.

It was such an annoyance to be known so well by someone so determined to parent her where Cassandra’s own parents had never even bothered before.

Resigned to the fact that she was not going to get a response from Helena until she was done with her reading, Cass took another breath and read the sentence again, out loud. But faster, to make up for the waver that existed no matter what efforts she put into subduing it.

“She sells s-seashells at the… seashore,” Cass finally read out loud.

“Very good, Cassandra,” Helena finally said, snapping her pen closed and uncrossing her legs as she looked up to meet Cass’ gaze. “You just have to keep reminding yourself, this isn’t a race. You can take your time sounding things out if you have to until you’re more confident saying them. There’s no problem with doing that.

Cass scowled. “Do… you sound it all out?”

“No, I don’t,” Helena responded flatly. “But I’m not you. I have been reading and writing for much longer, which means I have a lot of practice. It would be like—“

“Someone in self-defense wanting to train with Shiva,” Cass sighed, her eyes rolling all the way back in her head as she fell back and rocked against her chair. She had heard that particular sentiment at least a thousand times in the weeks that she had been tutored. And hearing it on the very last night that she would have with them was more aggravating than anything else.

“You might be tired of hearing it, but that doesn’t make it less true,” Helena answered. “Learning language arts isn’t a race, and that’s the bottom line. As you get better, you’ll become faster, just like anything else, but the important part isn’t that you read at a certain speed right now, it’s that you understand the content of what you’re reading. It’s just another way to communicate — with others, with ideas, with… just about anything.”

Folding her arms, Cassandra looked skeptically at Helena. “Who is she?”

Helena blinked. “Who is who?”

“She?” Cass stressed.

“She who, Cassie?” Helena pressed.

“She! She—“ Cassandra picked up the workbook she had been reading from and pointed at the sentence they had been practicing. “Who is she? Why… sell seashells? Is she important? Why do we need to know?”

For a moment, Helena looked utterly baffled. “Cass, there’s no… This isn’t about a person. It’s just a sentence that’s meant to challenge how you read.”

Throwing her hands in the air, Cass let out a growl. “You said… the important part is… understanding what it’s about! I thought—“

“It’s about learning,” Helena argued. “Sometimes when you read, yes, it gives you information you need and it might be about people or cases or anything else in the world. But the purpose of what we’re doing is that I’m teaching you so you’re learning. That’s the only thing you’re supposed to learn from the sentence.”

Annoyed and exhausted mentally, Cass threw back her head. “I’m done,” she declared for the night.

“But we’ve only gotten through…” Helena paused and began gathering her books. “Okay. You’re right. We should break. You’ve done very good lately and I know you can get discouraged when we move up reading levels. Which is fine, I promise you. I’ll just adjust the lesson plan I’m leaving for you while we’re away.”

While Cass knew she should have thanked Helena for understanding, she didn’t feel the sentiment enough to give it. She only watched her instructor quickly gather her things before glancing off toward the cockpit’s door. The massive jet had been much homier before they were making sure to buckle things down and hide things away for inevitable travel.

Rising to her feet, Cass looked back to Helena and pointed toward the door. “Oracle?” she asked.

“Barbara is in there, yeah,” Helena replied with an arched eyebrow. “You two… okay?”

“We’ll see,” Cass said before marching toward the door.

Barbara was the same as always, sitting in the navigator’s chair with her eyes locked on the screens around her. Her eyes were fierce and thoughtful — plotting. There were so many words and so many of them moving so fast on the screen that had it been anyone else, Cassandra would have not believed they were reading a single one of them.

Thoughts of how much of a liar Helena had to be to say that speed didn’t matter with reading. It was amazing how inadequate a few moments with Barbara could make Cassandra feel after even hours of drilling.

It didn’t take long for Barbara to finish up, however, and the scrolling stopped as she turned in her chair to face Cass.

“I was hoping you’d stop by before leaving. I was going to have to come to the Manor in the morning if you didn’t,” Barbara greeted her with a genuine, though tired, smile. “Probably still will.”

Cass looked at her before glancing toward the maps around Barbara’s work desk. “Not the one leaving… just everyone else.”

When she looked up, Cass could see how hard the words had hit Barbara she was looking off, chewing on the knuckles of one of her fingers. But it wasn’t going to be the kind of guilt that would make anyone change their plans. And Cass wasn’t even sure she wanted the plans to be changed.

She just needed it to hurt someone to leave her as much as it hurt her to be left, just for once.

“I didn’t know about Bruce’s plans to leave. And I definitely didn’t know he planned to leave you here,” Barbara assured her. “I don’t know what he was thinking. Or even if he was thinking. He’s so… off lately and I can’t…” She stopped herself and shook her head firmly. “No, this isn’t about Bruce.” Her eyes shot back up to Cass, holding Cass’ gaze with their intensity. “It’s about you, Cassandra. The way it should be. And… I’ve been thinking about it… You should probably come with us. You’ve never really been part of a team long term before. I know Dinah would love to have you, and it’d be easier for both you and Hel to continue your lessons if you stayed with us. It’d be good for you to see more of the world than just Gotham—“

For a moment, Cass was surprised. She had not been expecting the offer. But whatever emotion the offer should have given her was obviously not there. And without those flighty emotions, she could cut through to the meaning of the over abundance of words everyone used. Even quicker than she used to.

“If I go… Shiva would never learn,” Cass pointed out, eyes hardening on Barbara. “You would… have to take her off the team. That would break our promise.”

“Cass,” Barbara sighed, taking off her glasses and pinching the bridge of her nose.

Slowly, Cassandra blinked at Barbara. Took in the heaviness of her sigh, the weariness in her shoulders. There was disappointment there. She had wanted Cassandra to go with them, she really had.

She had also wanted the relief of not taking Shiva as her responsibility.

“It’s a promise,” Cassandra reminded her.

“Your need to make Shiva see the light is going to leave you bitterly disappointed, Cassandra,” Barbara argued, looking back up at Cass fiercely. “She isn’t half the person you are.”

“Every person is the same,” Cass argued, eyes narrowed. “She can change. Because… I changed. Okay?”

“Not everyone makes the choice to change, Cassandra, and it has to be a choice,” Barbara pleaded. “I know you believe everyone deserves a second chance. You helped me to believe that everyone deserves a second chance. But if you don’t grant people the autonomy to make that decision themselves, then when they don’t meet your expectations, it’s going to crush you more than if you had never tried. And you can’t believe that what you did — which was not your fault — could ever measure up to the conscious death and destruction which Shiva knowingly unleashes on everyone—“

Taken aback, Cass opened her mouth but found no words to match the surprise which overtook her with Barbara’s words. Not until her mentor stopped and Cass felt the one thing that always stirred itself back up from the numbness.

Rage.

“So… now promises don’t matter? Because they’re… hard?” Cass demanded angrily. “Because… people aren’t as good as you and as good as Bruce. We can forgive you… and me… but we’re exceptions.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’ve seen death, Barbara. It doesn’t have… exceptions. Only life changes.” She looked at Barbara at last. “That’s what… I want you and Batman to change.”

Barbara’s eyes were moving the same way they did when they read quickly on a screen, as if even her brain could write out a response without paper while Cass struggled to make letters and numbers face the right way.

“You think I’m judging you,” Barbara finally surmised. “You think Bruce is judging you, and that’s the reason we’re going away. That it’s because we’re disappointed or think you’re wrong. And that’s not the case, Cassandra. I’m not judging you. And I can’t speak for Bruce but I fully believe that his actions lately… they’re because we’re flawed, Cass. Because we make mistakes and have to be forgiven for them too. And I’m sorry that you feel like we need to learn this lesson from you — and maybe we’re right. Maybe we do. But it’s not because we’re judging you. It’s the opposite. It’s because we love you, Cassandra.”

“You love me. You just won’t keep your… promises to me,” she folded he arms and looked away.

“No, I’m keeping it,” Barbara sighed, sounding worn down and resigned more than pleased about her circumstance. “I’m keeping it. I’ll oversee Shiva becoming a better person and… and leave you here. To protect Gotham.”

Cass glanced back at her. “Good.”

There was still a frown on Barbara’s face. “Shiva doesn’t deserve the sacrifices you’re making for her, Cass. I don’t know that you can fully comprehend how different the two of you are.”

“You’re wrong,” Cass said firmly. “You… don’t know how… much we’re the same. Trust me.”

Inhaling sharply, Barbara forced a nod. “Okay.”

Cassandra ignored the way tears were welling up in Barbara’s eyes as she leaned forward and kissed her mentor’s forehead. “Okay.”

Before the signal was even lit for the first time that night, Cassandra felt the length of her patrol catching up with her.

She had known of emotional baggage and how exhausting it could be prior to the Lazarus Pit, but since her revival it seemed as though any forceful emotion that bubbled its way to the surface was equally exhausting. Emotions could make tired what bones and muscles never did for her.

Still, the moment she saw the signal in the sky, her heart pounded with the knowledge that it was for her. That it was her signal to answer and that her first opportunity to truly prove herself as Batman’s stand in had come up.

She swung through Gotham with somewhat reckless abandon, growing more eager as the familiar path to the police department opened itself up to her.

Forty feet away and swinging through the sky, Cassandra could already make out the figure of Jim Gordon standing in front of the signal, stalwart and stiff. He was making a show of standing without a cane those days and his fingers twitched at his side without a cigarette. But taking back his position as a leader in the GCPD had come with requirements he was forced to fulfill once again.

Cassandra could very much sympathize.

She landed as silently as she could on the rooftop, her grappling hook recoiling quickly before she tucked her arm under her cape and the grappling gun into her belt under its cover. She slowly rose to her feet and stood at full height in front of Jim Gordon, keeping her gaze narrowed on him and trying, desperately, to not think of him as the man who made a production of getting mashed potatoes stuck in his mustache at Barbara’s Thanksgiving dinner last year, or the kind man who continued to thank her for saving him during the No Man’s Land crisis that felt like just so many, many years ago.

Behind his glasses, Jim raised a heavy eyebrow at her and looked her over. He was expecting something, perhaps an introduction or a clarification as to why she was there instead of anyone else since they had never interacted like this without someone else to buffer before.

No Batman. No Robin. No Nightwing.

Only…

“Batgirl,” he finally broke the silence. “Thank you for coming.”

She nodded carefully. There was a word — a title she was supposed to call him by. All the others did. She knew it was important. That it… was respect and trust. He wore it the way she did her mask. But her brain still ached from all the vocabulary earlier in the night and she was tired and her brain hurt from searching for the proper word.

“Right,” he said, reaching up and fiddling with the glasses on his face. “Is… someone else…?”

“You have me… Sir,” she attempted to assure him.

“Okay,” Jim continued, mustache twitching in discomfort. Not from mashed potatoes. “We have a string of murders we have been dealing with. Our people are stumped, and since they seem fairly ritualistic we’re already negotiating with the Bureau to have some specialists look things over. Obviously, I’d still like for your own special perspective… since you work with Batman. And he usually has a larger thumb on the pulse of the Underground than anyone from the capital is going to.”

Beneath her mask, Cassandra exhaled sharply and couldn’t help but form a frown. Yes. Words. So many of them.

After an uncomfortable silence, Jim straightened his glasses again. “It’s… pretty gruesome stuff. I’m not sure if you’ve worked on something like this before… but we need to find who’s committing these murders. And we have to stop them.”

A smirk finally found its way back to Cass’ face and she punched her own palm. “No worries,” she promised him. “I’m… a detective.”

That seemed to do little to appease Jim as he reached out with a file he had been keeping in his free hand. “Right. Well. I know you aren’t really… I mean you’re kids. But you’re trained by him. So I trust…” he trailed off. “I’d still like your opinion on the case.”

Cassandra reached out and took the file, flipping it open with her thumb and glancing at a lot of the pages.

Lots of words. More on a page than even Barbara had been reading on her screens. Words longer and with more syllables than Helena had even begun to teach her. The sort of thing that, once confronted out in the wild, caused Cassandra’s insides to twist in discomfort and inadequacy. Maybe she should have stayed for the whole lesson with Helena after all.

All that out of the way, however, Cassandra buried the feelings and took a breath. She was prepared, as Batgirl, for difficult measures. She rarely worked with others in the past, and to confront such issues was not new either. She hid the file beneath her cape.

That seemed to make Jim’s eyebrows raise in alarm.

“I am on it,” she assured him, switching out the file for her grappling gun and turning to leave the rooftop.

“I… Well I figured we could go over the case together…” Gordon was continuing, a little more than confused by that point. “You seem to be doing things differently.”

“No time,” Cass half-lied, shooting off her grappling hook and leaping off the rooftop, files held close against her side.

“Those were the only printed copies. Everything else is digital. It was for me— Ah, alright then,” Gordon tried uselessly to call after her. “I suppose I was going to have to get used to using computers for everything at some point.”

The homing beacon on her newly customized Batcycle worked with the sort of efficiency that Cassandra was sure Tim only dreamed of with his Redbird. It was already pulling around the corner and into the alley she had directed it toward by the time she was landing down within.

With the motor rumbling, Cassandra glanced down to the files she had taken from Gordon. For a moment, she considered flipping through the files more intently, actually soaking in the words that she could, trying to work them out. It was enough to make her hesitate in her step before she shook her head and moving toward the back of the Batcycle.

Part of the modifications that Barbara had built into the bike for Cassandra involved a file scanner, something that was supposed to accurately digitize the letters and numbers of any papers or clues she would find. With them in the database of the Batcomputer, Cassandra would only have to go to the Cave and have the monitor read them out loud for her.

It was the best solution, she told herself constantly.

Swallowing dryly, Cass fit the file into the compartment of the Batcycyle which immediately lit up in the signature Oracle green. It brought almost as much comfort to Cassandra as it had shame, still she closed her eyes and took a breath. She was a detective. She was going to be able to do this. Alone.

She just needed to do it her way.

Just as Cassandra prepared herself to get on the Batcycle and race back to the Cave and whatever snack that Alfred had ready for her, Cassandra was pulled away from all her thoughts by a mortified, blood curdling scream only a short distance away.

Alarmed, Cass moved fast, shooting her grappling gun before her body had even turned and double pulling on the trigger to send herself jettisoning up past the building’s edge. She flew through the sky a short distance before ending her arc, right foot extended first to land in the opposite alley.

Her speed and precision were beyond compare, but the screaming had already stopped, and the woman who had unleashed the scream was already at the edge of the alley as Cass landed.

Confused, Cassandra took in the sight.

There was a husky looking man, laying in a heap on the alley’s pavement, moaning and groaning, with his face already swelling and red from a hit. A nearly perfectly delivered punch directly to the corner of his jawline, surely shattering it given the amount of pressure that it apparently had had.

When Cass looked back to the woman in the alley, it was clear even with a casual glance that the petite woman shaking and nearly vomiting had not had the training or power to deliver such a hit.

Cass could hear her motorcycle rumbling on idle just an alley away, scans no doubt completed, but for her, she knew that Batgirl had just found a second mystery to test her detective skills on.

It seemed that she was not patrolling Gotham alone…

#writing #batfic #Batfic: Promises #Cassandra Cain #Helena Bertinelli #Barbara Gordon #Jim Gordon

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