#the writers need to jump in the hole so they can go back and re-write his storyline

[likearolloftape]

still pressed about the fact that rhett is literally the ONLY substantive character who now knows about the hole/time travel but whose discovery (and impact) of this information we didn't get to see. cecilia, autumn, perry, billy, luke, wayne, joy. we witnessed this life changing shift for each of them and the profound effect it had. but not rhett. that's some fucking bullshit

[marzipanilla]

Back at you for the writer asks! (*^^*) ♡♡♡ 12, 17, 19, and 7!

7 - Your preferred writing fonts

I'm pretty bad about this and honestly just tend to use whatever default is for whatever I'm writing in. I think I've divested myself of having a preference because I am instilling the habit in myself of writing when I have the idea instead of insisting I'll remember it later, which means with my garbage hand writing I actually write A LOT in the notes app on my phone. Not really a lot of font options there. I mentioned before that I used to write in 10 pt times new roman a lot, but I don't have much of a preference now. I think it comes down to font size and not too much style. I do not like writing with large letters. To the point that since I'm checking out how the new ellipsus program works and the fact that their (very useful) outline options makes a specific word MUCH LARGER than other words and it bothers me. If there is a way to change this I have not found it yet.

I guess I do have a fondness for Courier/New though I don't actually write in it all that much because I own typewriters and have done script writing in the past, and that is the standard font for that.

12 - A trope you're really into right now

Whump. Character studies. Hurt no comfort/little comfort. That category lol Look, the two most recent WIPs I've posted have been pretty lighthearted but what I've really been working on lately is not that vibe. I smashed out 3k of some very rough conversation between take-a-guess and I'm pretty excited for it, though I still need to get all the connecting tissue to that moment in.

17- talk about your writing and editing process

Chaotic mess. I write down snippets of dialogue and conversation mostly. Which depending on where I am when I get A Thought can mean it will be scattered across several docs. Or notes on my phone. And then I have to go digging for it later and hope I remember what story I meant it for if I didn't label it. I am trying to get so much better at labeling.

Which means I have the note 'leggy teeth out of prison' and know exactly what it means, but have the sentence 'He was an honest man, and he could be gentle, but I do not think I would ever call him kind.' and have no idea what I had originally intended with it and now I just scroll by it on my phone sometimes.

When it comes to new stories I tend to start either with A Very Specific Conversation, or just a specific description for an emotional moment a character is going to have in the story. A lot of times I am just working off of A Vibe because I write so many AUs. I generally don't outline, but I do write insanely out of order and will jump around between 'oh this should definitely make this happen!' or 'this scenario means THIS needs to be said but I don't know the context in which the characters are going to say it yet' or 'wouldn't it be fucked up if this happens?'. And sometimes that means I end up deleting a lot when I finally move on to that story moment because things have changed drastically, or I end up going back to the beginning and completely rewriting something in order to give that story beat better set up.

I mostly edit as I go, while I am writing I tend to re-read everything up to that point of the story to make sure it's fresh in my brain, and if I was smart and didn't post all of those chapters yet (I rarely am..) I'll do little tweaks along the way. I generally try to convince myself to at least get one sleep in before another edit before posting, but since I don't have someone around to wrap a blanket around me and force me to stop generally I'll do a typo pass and just post something if I feel it is good enough. Or if I'm mad enough at a story idea and just want it not stuck with me anymore.

19 - The most interesting topic you've researched for a fic

Okay hmm maybe the interesting physics rabbit hole I went down recently. Where I found out once you go fast enough your weight starts to not really matter. At least, there seems to reach a point where the pressure exerted on you doesn't make you any denser or something. I was trying to find if there were any layman discussions I could peak into about what would theoretically happen if two objects moving at the speed of light crashed into each other. Did not quite find what I was looking for. The scenario I am thinking of for the fic is just somehow worse and less worse than what I was hoping would happen? Anyway, Viltrumites are a fucking problem and I will never be over the 'mundane' things that have to be true about specific heroes in any media that is overlooked in favor of trying to fit them into a framework that makes it possible to fight them.

[plothooksinc]

🎀💝💥 :3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

.../mind goes utterly blank UHHHH I can write a good action scene! And I'm good at the small details-- things like atmospheric change and reactions (if person A does this what changes about the environment) kind of thing. I like to think I'm also reasonably good at setting up intelligent characters, but given it was just recently I noticed a giant plot hole upcoming in NRFTW about... two pages from where I was, I don't always succeed lmao. (I fixed the plot hole, but I'm annoyed I completely failed to realise it was there until I was so close to it--) Probably the biggest compliment I can give myself is that I'm comfortable with my writing. I go back and read it and I'm like "yeah, this is good." A lot of writers struggle with that insecurity, and there are a hell of a lot of writers better than I am (I am in awe of all of you) but that does not mean I am bad. I'm satisfied, and I'll only get better with time. It's a win win.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

This is much harder to answer. Generally speaking, the reaction I get to my fics is exactly what I'm expecting, which I guess means I'm aiming right. I do tend to sometimes over/underestimate how much a chapter within a story will resonate with readers-- like I'll write a chapter that is mostly exposition based and think people will find it annoying, and then it turns out it's their favourite chapter. Or I'll write scenes that I personally liked that barely get acknowledged. It all comes down to personal taste, and if I'm generally getting the right beats hitting with the audience, it's all good. \o/

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

HMM I bet I know which one this is-- /goes to see Not including the AMV archive as that's not fic. ROFL okay, it's Breaking the Curse, which is literally an indulgent piece of crack I wrote for my friend @xzigzagx123 when she was having a bad day. Largely: when I started writing fanfic, I had a run of bad luck in which I'd inflict a wound on a fictional character and then... suffer it myself within the week. Which was frankly hilarious but rude (and entirely coincidental and thankfully didn't continue as a trend given... current fics... though I did end up on a gurney in ER last week /cough) and we used to joke that clearly all I needed to do was write a fanfic in which all characters involved had an amazing time on a beautiful island vacation somewhere. Hence this fic. ZZ was having a rotten day so I typed it up one afternoon and presented it to her, and she laughed her fucking head off so JOB WELL DONE. So I won't ever regret writing it, and I giggle enough re-reading it that it made the jump from ff.net for posterity. I do not expect it to get a lot of traction, and that is Perfectly Okay, given what it is. ♥ It's a present for my awesome friend, huhuhu.

Thank you for the questions!

Fic ask meme here.

[writerforfun]

How to Write Faster: 13 Tips for Becoming a Faster Writer

Write every single day. Writing is like a muscle—the more you exercise your craft, the stronger, leaner, and more efficient it will be. Setting aside daily writing time is important even if you aren’t on a deadline. Work a writing session into your routine—make it a habit—and consider building ritual around it, like relocating to a special location or making a cup of tea.

Give yourself a topic. You may already have an assignment or personal writing goal that you’re working towards (like the rough draft of that novel), but if you don’t, zero in on a single area of interest that will kick off the writing process. It’s commonly assumed that writer’s block comes when you’re out of ideas, but it can also hit when you’ve got too many to sift through.

Create an outline. It may seem counter-intuitive, but spending time getting set up before you start writing can save time in the end. Make a plan, plotting out the main points of your writing project and getting a sense for word count. You’ll not only always know what comes next, but also exactly where the finish line is and how hard you need to push to get there.

Gather information. Writing fast is all about removing impediments to the writing flow. Do any necessary research in advance and drop relevant facts, quotes, anecdotes, or ideas into your outline for quick reference later. This will decrease the amount of time you spend staring at a blank page trying to recall what it was you meant to say and how you meant to say it.

Get rid of distractions. Close browser windows, email programs, and chat apps. Unplug your computer or even your router. Turn your phone to silent and place it out of view. Even if only for an hour or two at a time, do whatever it takes to nurture a healthy writing habit.

Set a challenge. Can you write 1,000 words in an hour? How about 500? First-time writers or people with busy schedules might start out with an easily achievable goal like 50 words per day, while professional writers will benefit from hourly or minute-based objectives. Either way, incrementally increasing your target words per minute (WPM) can improve your writing speed.

Start a timer. Whether you’ve got the kind that you twist, a digital device with buttons, or an app that you load, starting a timer at the beginning of a writing session can help a great deal. Not only can you track your progress as you meet new writing challenges, but you’ll be less likely to procrastinate—it’s hard to waste time when you’re aware of each passing second.

Revise later. Great writing rarely arrives fully formed as a first draft. Give yourself a break. Let typos slide, ignore the spell-checker, steer away from perfectionism. If you get stuck on a particular phrasing, write it plainly and come back to it later. You can lose a lot of time editing as you go, so rather than re-reading every step of the way, save the revisions for the end.

Use placeholders. Even if you’ve filled your outline with well-researched points, the act of writing will take you places you hadn’t planned. If you stop your flow to look up a fact or idea, you risk wasting time going down research rabbit holes. Instead, use a placeholder like “TK” (which means “to come”) and replace it when you’re done writing.

Stop while you’re ahead. If your timer goes off and you’re mid-sentence, that’s actually great news. Rather than rush to finish the thought, leave it for the next day. This means that when you return to the page, instead of staring at a period and a flashing cursor you can jump back into the flow. Sometimes becoming a better writer is just a matter of forming new habits.

Find your best time. For all of the practical tips and writing skills you can learn, improving your speed can also come down to your own biology or psychology. You may be an early riser who writes better and faster in the morning. Or you may be a night owl whose mind feels most fluid in the wee hours. Experiment to find out what time of day is most productive for you.

Seek good posture. Similarly, the way your body is positioned can affect your work. Sit with a straight back and your elbows at right angles to the keyboard. Slouching or having your arms in the wrong position can lead to fatigue and cramping—enemies of fast writing. Some writers prefer standing desks, which have been shown to increase blood flow and energy.

Play typing games. Even if you’ve internalized all of these writing tips, it’s possible that your fingers simply won’t be able to keep up with your mind. There are various free online typing tests and games designed to help you improve your typing speed. In the process, you can work on getting your fingers in the right position to maintain a flow free of interruption.

Article source here

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel and the Great Tree Part 1

We’re now finally at the mid-season finale of season two, and it’s easily the best episode of this season. That however doesn’t mean that it’s not flawed, so here we go... 

Summary: The group makes it to the Great Tree, only to be confronted by a new adversary: Hector, the brother of Adira, the most dangerous member of the Brotherhood; sworn to keep all from reaching the Dark Kingdom. Despite all that has happened, Rapunzel is determined to continue on toward the Dark Kingdom to uncover the truth behind her destiny. As they navigate through the Great Tree, Rapunzel discovers the Moonstone incantation which overwhelms the magical powers of the Sundrop in her blonde hair and causes injury and weakness to those around her. 

The Brotherhood Is Such a Wasted Concept 

We have a group of highly trained warriors, directly connected to the series main macguffin, who consider each other siblings, who all have conflicting goals, and they’re all severely underdeveloped to the point of ridiculousness. 

For starters, in a show all about pushing sibling rivalries as parallels to the two main characters, it utterly fails to show the only other siblings who are actually connected to the plot acting like actual siblings. 

Adira and Hector should be a parallel to Cass and Rapunzel in this very episode. One that actually ties into the narrative, yet outside of calling each other brother/sister/brethren they don’t act like family; even feuding family. Adira also fails to treat Quirin, Varian, Edmund, and Eugene as family. She shows no real concern for any of them despite saving her home (which would included her family) from the rocks being her main goal. She should be just as every bit as invested in saving Quirin as Varian. Which is yet another reason why Varian should have been S2 and another entry point for him in the show’s plot. 

As for the rest of the Brotherhood, they never even interact at all. I don’t think anyone tells either Edmund or Hector what has happened to Quirin or Varian. And Edmund clearly didn’t inform Hector of Eugene, even though he logically should have. And did any of them know if Edmund was alive, despite Edmund having the means to communicate with the outside world with the crows? 

What we’re left with is a bunch of holes in the story, because there’s now a bunch of holes in everyone’s motivations and their actions never quite line up. 

And before you say, ‘well they’re not that important’, or ‘they’re aren’t meant to be a real family’; then that is in of itself a flaw because they should be. Not making them found family undermines Raps and Cass being found family, as it undermines every other sibling parallel in the show, and those parallels are the only build up we have to the sister reveal in S3.  

It also undermines the moonstone plot and the whole reason why season two exists. Don't introduce things that connect back to your story and not make them important. In fact don't introduce unimportant elements in a plot driven show like this period. 

Another Indication of the Timeline

As stated before, Tangled is really bad at indicating the passage of time, despite the passage of time being a big plot point. We’re now a ‘few months’ past the island, which itself was 6 weeks, and before that it was several weeks to maybe even a few months before getting to the island... 

So when does this take place? Well we were told that season two takes place over the course of a year by the creator, and that this is the mid-season finale so 6 months since SotSD sounds the most plausible. We also see fall trees dotted around like we did during the first half of season one. Which is the only visual indicator we get of changing seasons in the show, but it’s too understated to be properly noticeable most of the time. 

However, the crew themselves can’t even seem to agree if Rapunzel’s Return is her birthday or not, so if you’ve heard conflicting sources, it’s because this shit wasn’t planned properly first. But all dialogue and visual cues point to the first half of season two being at least 4 to 6 months. With 6 being the most logical placement.  

Just a Reminder, that Hook Foot Is Still Useless 

If all you were going to have him do is whine like a child during the only plot important episode that he is in, then why not just replace him with an actual child? 

It takes more work to leave Varian out of season two and force Hook Foot in his place, than it does just to write Varian in. There were so many potential entry points for his character, that the one they would up going with was the least natural to the characters and the story they were trying to tell. And even then, the Saporian take over they went with could still have worked had they handled things properly and pre-planned that stuff out. 

But they didn’t. By all accounts S2 was a hasty re-write to get rid of Varian and Hook Foot was shoehorned in as his replacement at the last minute. And it’s the most utterly baffling creative decision I have ever witnessed in my life. There was zero logical reason for it. 

This Plot Point Wasn’t Built Up Enough and It Goes Nowhere

Look, had they actually pointed out that Cass is a bodyguard now, and that this line from Raps threatens her career goals, that would make sense; or they could have explored the idea that Cass’s identity revolves around her job, and so feeling like her job is pointless makes her feel pointless therefore making her feel insecure about her future. Either of those would have been interesting jumping off points for her character arc and later conflicts. 

But that’s not what they did. 

I think that’s what they were initially trying to go for here, but it got muddled in the mess that was last minute rewrites. 

Cass obtaining her goals in season one is ignored in favor of a bland and vague validation goal from this point onwards. Her issues with Rapunzel are then boiled down to be about; not identity, agency, class, or wanting a future, but into fighting over a dead mom and how one wasn’t ‘loved enough’ apparently. Which makes no sense given what we know of Cass from previous seasons. 

Cassandra isn’t deep or complex; she is convoluted. The writing team couldn’t agree on what her goals and motivations should be, and so she performs conflicting actions throughout the story that actively undermines what was previously established and what she supposedly wants. 

Most people who try to defend the writing for Cassandra do so with this idea that because they had to work hard to ‘connect the dots’ for all these seemingly disconnected plot ideas, means that of course the writing is ‘deep’ but that’s ignoring one of the basic fundamentals of writing.   

The audience shouldn’t have to do the writer’s job! 

Having to think about a story doesn’t mean that you need to go digging around for basic information like the character’s goals or what happened when. A writer’s job is to first and foremost clearly communicate ideas to their audience. Plot and character analysis is about finding extras like, metaphors, moral messages, and coming up with fun headcanons that don't impact the wider story. Because all of the bare bones information needed to understand the story should already be there for everyone to see. 

If you gotta go into ‘analysis’ just explain the damn plot and why things are unfolding the way they do, then the story is badly written. Full stop. 

Cinderella wanting to go to the ball is a simple goal, but it’s an understandable one that anyone watching can grasp. You could go into a deeper analysis about abuse and what the ball symbolises for Cinderella’s character or how the story is an analogy for wider social issues at large, but at the end of the day everyone needs to be in agreement that, yes, Cinderella wants to go to the ball and we know why she wants to go, so that her actions in trying to get there make sense.

No one knows what Cassandra wants. Cassandra herself doesn’t know what she wants. So the ‘why’ part for what she does is never answered. 

Hector Is Wasted

As already stated, all of the Brotherhood is wasted, but Hector more so than most. Season two desperately needed an ongoing threat, a main antagonist to push the story forward. Hector should have been that antagonist. Instead he shows up for this one episode, and then in a few non-speaking cameos in S3. 

Then Why Not Just Stay With Them Adira?

We’re never given an actual reason for why Adira keeps leaving the group, and indeed doing so conflicts with her stated goal of getting Rapunzel safely to the moonstone. It’s just shoehorned in here to create ‘mystery’, but mysteries have to be answered at some point. You can’t throw something in for drama’s sake and not explain why it’s there. 

Lance’s Crush on Adira Isn’t Handled Well 

Look, this isn’t a judgment upon those who ship the characters. When I talk about relationships in the show I’m only talking about how well they are written on screen. I couldn’t care less what the fans do with them. 

Even when I discuss my personal preferences for ships, that is all that is, my personal preference. I don't give a shit if you ship something that I may dislike, or if you hate something that I do enjoy. I’m a grown up with more important things to do than worry over what a bunch strangers may write on A03 about a bunch of fictional characters, and as someone who hates bullies above all else, I’ll defend your right to make whatever content to want to because censorship is just a form of bullying and nothing else. 

No matter how gross or reprehensible I may personally find it. Different stories resonate with different people and for different reasons. I may debate your reasons, if the subject comes up, or critique professional media for the messages it puts out to the wider public, but I’ll never say you can’t like it or that you can’t make it.    

So with that stated, I don’t like Lance’s dynamic with Adira in the show and here’s my reasons for that. 

She doesn’t ever return the feelings. 

At best she tolerates him, at worse she actively kicks his butt when he gets too close, and most of the time she ignores him. Which is for good reason; she’s old enough to be his mom. Why would she be attracted to him? 

Like I’m not saying that age gaps between adults are inherently wrong; I’m saying that if there is a significant age gap then you really have to work hard to build up a reason for why the two characters would go for each other when naturally they wouldn’t be in each other’s usual sphere of dating options. Which the series never does because once again Adira is clearly not interested in him. 

This leads to Lance basically being an annoying ‘nice guy’ who can’t take a hint. Like constantly badgering someone who doesn’t want you to isn’t charming or endearing, and Lance is old enough to know this by now. 

Basically the writers just took the Varian and Cassandra dynamic from Great Expotations and slapped it onto Lance and Adira despite the fact that it made zero sense for their characters. Lance isn’t a lonely teen who desperately wants to fit in and make a connection with someone. He’s not out to prove that he is mature, nor mistakenly believes himself to be an equal to the only other girl in the kingdom that has ever talked to him that isn’t already married/seriously dating and still living at home. Adira never comes around to considering Lance a trusted friend and confidante after shoving nearly everyone else away. She doesn’t seek out his help or approval, nor tries to build him up with compliments, ect, and so forth. 

Now, I dislike the Cass and Varian ship for many, many reasons, but as they are presented on screen in the Great Expo it makes sense for why Varian would at first have an unrequited crush on her. Now after that QfaD he logically shouldn’t ever want anything to do with her but we’ll get to that later. That’s not the case with Lance and Adira; they’re both too old for such a dynamic. 

To add on to the weird factor, they’re both related to Eugene. Adira is technically Eugene’s aunt, even if she never acts like it. Lance is also the closest thing to a brother Eugene has. They don’t recognize each other as such, so if you want to say their just friends or ship them or whatever, there’s wiggle room. But the end effect is like Maya in Girl Meets World crushing on her best friend’s, Riley’s, Uncle Josh. Only even with less basis, and it wasn’t that great there either. 

Why Do you Suddenly Not Trust Adira Cass?

Forest of No Return was all about establishing trust in Adira, including with Cass at the end, so why the sudden back track? Especially since Adira hasn’t done anything but been honest with them, and has saved their butts several times now. All this does is make Cassandra look like an ass, which you don't need to be doing if you want the audience to side with her later on in the story. 

Everyone Now Knows Quirin is a Part of the Brotherhood, So There’s No Excuse For Later

It’s an odd way to state that fact, but yeah, both Cass and Raps are told directly that Quirin is in the Brotherhood, and Lance, Eugene, and Hookfoot are also present and presumably listing to this exchange. So no one in S3 has an excuse to ignore this plot point until the finale. 

This Backstory Goes Nowhere

Adira launches into this story about Zhan Tiri, Demanitus, and the Great Tree and literally none of it actually matters. It’s never brought up again after this episode. We never get any insight into why they were fighting, how Zhan Tiri corrupted a tree, what significance the tree has outside of being really big and holding some scrolls, nor how the scrolls got there, why the tree is still connect to Zhan Tiri hundreds of years later, nor how Demanitus magic spear works or what it even does exactly. 

Don’t introduce lore and then don't have it mean anything. 

Why Do you Care, Cass? 

Cassandra isn’t a lady-in-waiting anymore. We’ve already established that back in Secret of the Sun Drop and in Beyond the Corona Walls. So why should she care if Adira calls her one? Adira isn’t from Corona. Adira isn’t in charge of anything. Cassandra doesn’t even like her, so Adira’s opinion shouldn’t matter. 

This whole season we’ve seen Cass treat Adira like shit, but apparently we’re supposed to feel sorry for her when she can’t take clap back for all the grief she’s given. Is she really so immature that she can’t just ignore a petty insult for what it is? Why does she have to behave so insecure that she will jeopardize the mission or someone’s life over it? This is the deuteragonist I’m suppose to root for and relate to? I mean she’s twenty three for goodness sake! Grow the hell up woman! 

Also while we on the subject, a royal guard and a lady-in-waiting are both servants. There’s no distinction between the two beyond what duties they perform, and that would be the case regardless of what job Cass had. Rapunzel’s a princess, everyone is her servant. That’s how the class system works, and by all means Cassandra enjoys more privilege than most people in Corona. She’s the Captain’s daughter, was granted next in line for that position in SotSD, and lady-in-waiting means to the princess means she’s above all the other maids except for Crowley and Friedberg. Cass may hate her job, but she hasn’t room to complain when Faith is right there and has things much worse. 

In short making Cass suddenly indignant over being treated as lower class when she didn’t give a crap about the likes of Attila, Caine, Varian, Eugene, Lance, ect... just makes her look like a hypocrite. 

The Other Reason to Dislike Lance’s Crush is That It Hinders His Development

Lance’s arc is that he’s suppose to learn to be more responsible. This episode in particular is suppose address his habit of lying... only it doesn’t. We get no real resolvement on this point. We also never see Lance progress enough to give up on Adira and stop pursuing her even when it’s directly pointed out to him that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. So in the end he still remains immature and irresponsible. 

Though this conversation just proves that Eugene and Lance still have the healthiest relationship in the show. They’re about to disagree or call each other’s bullshit without resorting to insults or getting violent, which is more than what any relationship involving Cass does. 

Questions With No Answers

We never learn why these scrolls are here, why they have the incantations on them and upon the wall, we don’t know who translated them, nor who came up with the incantations in the first place.

This is all important info that he series glosses over, because unlike the moonstone and sundrop, the incantations are things that someone had to have made at some point, and they could only have made them by studying what our plot macguffins are and how they work. Since the incantations are things that are also sought after by the big bad along with the magical objects, then we need to know how the big bad knows about them when no one else does. How they came about. 

Which is yet another reason why we needed a magic system in place. 

This Song is Catchy, But It Doesn’t Need To Exist

In a musical a song needs to either establish the plot, build the world, or further the characters. This song does none of those things, it’s not needed for Lance and Eugene’s relationship, it doesn’t actually resolve Lance’s plot as he is high when he apologizes for lying, and it wasn’t needed to established the man eating plant. I honestly think this song only exists so that the animators could just reuse assets they built to save on money. 

The Hurt Incantation Is the Coolest Thing In the Show! Shame It’s Not Utilized Well

People are suckered into this show by one of three things usually, ‘Let Me Make You Proud Reprise’, ‘Ready As I’ll Ever Be’, or this scene. 

It’s shocking, powerfull, and a really, really awesome concept. It’s one of the best scenes in the show, and an interesting idea that offers up a lot of story possibilities. 

Possibilities that’ll never actually be explored on screen. The hurt incantation isn’t useless, it does affect the plot, but it’s not used effectively. There was so much you could have done with this but it’s then never explored. Characters outright forget its existence even when they have no reason to, or it’s used to do things that should have been accomplished in other ways. It’s also never fully explained or expanded upon. They couldn’t even bother to give it more than one verse. 

All of the incantations are mishandled in this show, but the hurt incantation is the one that has the biggest let down. 

Conclusion 

So that ends part 1, join me tomorrow for part 2. 

[indreamsink]

Hello! Sorry if this sounds annoying, but I'm an aspiring writer on AO3 and you're my favorite Dramione author!Do you have any writing advice, specially regarding the pacing of the stories? I feel like I can't balance scenes descriptions and dialogue correctly, but you're amazing at making your stories flow seamlessly!

Well hi, thank you so much! I really appreciate you. <3

Thanks for reaching out, and sorry it’s taken me a few days to get to this ask. I wanted to be sure I had time to actually sit down and go through some old notes and take some time to properly respond (it got a little long, sorry x). Here are a few things I try to keep in mind when I’m writing that I’ve learned over the years - and please note, this is just my own personal opinion on these things, and I’m by no means an expert. <3

I think one of the biggest things about good pacing is to keep the reader engaged. To create and hold tension, the story always needs to be moving forward in some way or another (this doesn’t mean there can’t be setbacks, but that the situation needs to evolve in plot/character development).

Conflict - this lies at the heart of every story, but can take a number of forms. What does your character want, and how will they seek to achieve it? Is the goal internal, external, or both? Do others stand in the way? These are important questions to ask yourself and to understand, even if some of it never makes it to the page. Your implicit knowledge will often embed itself more than you might think. 

As the stakes raise, the conflict needs to follow suit or the circumstances could grow dull and incongruent - ie drastic consequences for something that isn’t a big deal.

Conversely, non-stop conflict and tension can become tedious and tiresome to read. Allow your characters a break now and again. Shifts in pace will keep the story feeling fresh.

Keep track of your threads and try to avoid plot holes or noticeable discrepancies, which can jar a reader out of the story.

If your characters are likeable or relatable (not necessarily both) the reader will tend to care more about them and likewise become more invested.

Storytelling - this encompasses a number of things. You can lose a lot by way of pace with too much unnecessary infodumping. Let things unfold naturally, and not everything needs to be shared all at once. A little ambiguity can keep interest in the back of the reader’s mind, so that when information comes out down the road it’s that much more rewarding. The things left unsaid can often add a lot. 

Jumping right in on the action can often catch a reader’s attention right away, instead of a bunch of exposition.

Revealing information through dialogue can help to advance the story between characters, without feeling like a heavy block of narrative or description. 

Not every scene needs to be fully expanded on. If all the points of consequence have been shared, the scene can cut to the next without any significant loss in plot. 

Reflections can be used in place of fully fleshed out scenes to keep things moving. 

If you’re jumping between perspectives/POVs, you don’t need to re-tell the same scenes twice from different perspectives unless you’re purposely intending to reveal something that maybe one character missed that’s vital to the progression of the story. Also keep in mind that by splitting POVs the reader will know more than any one character will.

Word choice goes a long way. Short, crisp sentences will keep things moving faster (something I struggle with personally), whereas longer, flowing sentences can slow things down a little. I try to mix it up to keep a good flow. Check you aren’t structuring all your sentences in the same way, and don’t be afraid to break up your paragraphs - large blocks of text can sometimes be tedious.

SHOW, don’t tell. Instead of having a character say something angrily, demonstrate it. Is their hand curled into a fist? Their jaw clenched? Their face flushed? Making reactions visual and visceral can go a long way, not only in keeping the reader emotionally engaged, but also in preventing bland description.

There are so many “rules” of writing, many of which are subjective, and I try to be mindful of a number of them. But I think the biggest thing in writing, like in any craft, is always striving to improve and recognize learning opportunities. I do things in my writing now that I never considered even a year or two ago. The best way to improve, honestly, is just to keep working at it. Read, write, read, write, and so on. If you’re just starting out, stick with fleshing out a short piece to dip your feet in before digging into anything too substantial. 

If you haven’t already, try and track down an alpha or beta reader. An alpha is someone who reads at a bigger picture level - plot holes, characterization, storyline, pacing; a beta is the person who goes through to catch the spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sometimes wording/sentence structure. Just having a second, objective set of eyes can go a really long way in determining where you’re doing well and where you could stand to improve. Writing is a neverending pursuit, and you’ll probably never feel like you’re where you want to be, but that’s part of the joy of it (most of the time). 

I hope some of this was helpful!! I wish you the best in your writing (and I apologize for this novel of a response). <3

[catchester]

Why I hate the Loki TV series weekly release

And weekly release in general.

(this was written after ep 2, update at the end)

Writing a new TV series is hard. You have an idea of what you want, but if it's anything like writing a book, the characters themselves actually make choices of their own.

I'm not kidding, i wrote a book series once where one character was supposed to be the love interest and the final guy. He ended up sacrificing himself in book 2. Fucking wanker! How dare you ruin my plans.

I know TV shows are more collaborative, but in many ways that can be worse. Even if you have only one writer, you have multiple people with input into the script and plot, all with their own idea of what this or that character should do and be.

It's just really hard to know what you've got until you've got a bit under your belt and you can see for yourself what works and what doesn't.

This is why, when starting a new TV series, even one I think I'll love, I want until 4 episodes have aired and I watch them together. This gives me a good picture of what the series is, where it's going, and if I want to keep on watching.

Some are fine to watch weekly, like Grey's Anatomy. It's entertaining but I don't care enough to need to remember every facet of what happened last week, or even last series. You can jump right in on any episode, having never watched it before, and still be entertained. And to be honest, if you really thought about the past, and who has slept with who, the whole show would become rather icky.

Other shows, like Prodigal Son, are really best binge watched, so the details are always fresh in your mind as you start the next episode and follow the main character trying to atone for his father's (and possibly his own) sins. It's the kind of show where you don't want to miss too many details, because it's compelling.

With Loki, obviously I'm too obsessed to wait, but I also feel like I'm not getting a full picture of what this show wants to be. Loki's characterisation still feels off, compared to Loki!Thor and Loki!Avengers. I know Tom wants to do more humour, and that's fine, but Loki has always been a humerus character, it's just that his humour was just sophisticated.

"I can feel the righteousness surging!" "I'm listening." "I'll have that drink now." "Are you ever not going to fall for that?" "...You'll kill me? Evidently there will be a line."

This show doesn't feel sophisticated.

"You've literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times."

... (thinking of comeback) ... "I'll never do it again!"

No. Loki's wit is so sharp you could cut yourself on it.

"You've literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times."

"In my defence, at least 35 of those were Thor, and 5 of those at the same time, and he thoroughly deserved each and every one." I'm think would have been a better reply.

Or

"You've literally stabbed people in the back like 10 times."

"That's not my fault, Thor tripped and fell on my dagger. He tripped and fell on my dagger 10 times!"

Given time and talent, the Loki writers could surely have come up with better too.

Even when he loses a verbal battle, or draws, like with Tony Stark, he's not childish. He's Asgard's version of Oscar Wilde.

So as the next 7 days pass, I find myself thinking about the episode and finding the plot holes and the flaws in it, like this wasted joke, which is not exactly what you want. You want your audience so interested that they just want to continue. Not so interested they want to pick it apart while they wait to see what comes next.

By episode 4 I'll be able to tell what kind of beast this is, and if it's the kind of beast I want to befriend. Unfortunately, thanks to the weekly instalments, I might end up having talked myself out of liking it!

Update after ep 3:

I tried to stop watching and wait for the end of the series, but I wasn't able to. I did limit myself to one watch only of episode two and I've tried my hardest not to think about it between times, and pick faults. Well, more faults. I plan to do the same with ep 3.

The thing is, I watch each new season of Stranger things over a weekend. I know it has faults, but I'm too concerned with moving on and finding what happens next to dwell on them. Now, having not seen it for months, I can't name a single fault. Given time and/or a re-watch sure I'll find many, but right now all I have are happy memories.

I want to feel like that about Loki too. I want to have fond memories and not find its faults and plot holes filling my thoughts.

Limiting exposure (at least until it's over) seems to be working.

I have to say, I'm very happy with Episode 3, I feel like the show is finding its feet, even if Loki is constantly running from one disaster to the next, it's enjoyable. The fact tom seems to think eps 4 and 5 are the best mas be excited for them.

Little things are falling into place, like Mobius and his jet ski.

I think my feelings about the sacred timeline might be true (that it isn't a "scared" anything, it's just the timeline that won the war and won't stand for any competition. In war, the winners write the history books, after all).

I'm ready for the revolution, I'm ready for Loki to kick off the MCU multiverse. I'm ready to learn more about Lady Loki's origins.

And I'm still waiting for Richard E Grant to show himself as Old Man Loki, pulling lady Loki's strings. Come, on, I've been predicting this for months. It's time I was proved right or wrong.

[wegotcrowns]

13 Going on 31

The past few days have been filled with many emotions with the release of folklore’s sister album, evermore. I’ve been trying to find a moment of complete stillness to where I’ve leveled myself out enough in order to sit down and write this blog post in the manner that it deserves. With today being TS’s birthday, I couldn’t think of a more perfect time. 

I’m going to take it back to Thursday morning for a second but before I do, I just really need to get this out of my system... WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK TAYLOR. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, we can go on with our regularly scheduled programming. Where were we? Oh yeah, Thursday morning. I started to get notifications on my phone that TS was posting on her instagram page, so naturally, I dropped everything I was doing and started stalking her page. She was doing one of those things where you upload pictures as puzzle pieces that eventually create one full image when looking at the page. My first thought was, oh shit, she’s about to announce some of the re-recordings or maybe all of them???? In any case, I could feel my heart rate starting to pick up because I knew something big was about to happen. 

Never in a million and one years did I ever think she was about to release her NINTH STUDIO ALBUM!! Ya’ll when I tell you that I felt my soul leave my body, do a few jumping jacks, and then come back into my body, I’m not exaggerating. I actually felt like I was in a state of shock, but then all of the normal release day feelings showed themselves: the shaking hands, the lump in my throat, the heart palpitations, etc, etc. 

I’ve spent the last few days bonding with evermore, just like I do with any other new TS album. If you’re close to me, you know that I compare this type of bonding with the same way a mother / father would bond with their newborn baby. The idea of you already being SO in love with this precious new thing solely based on the fact of its identity and where it came from, but you still haven’t gotten to know it yet -- and that’s what this time is always about for me. 

The biggest takeaway that I’ve personally gotten from evermore and folklore is that TS has finally found her place as an artist and you are either here for the ride or saying sayonara. Ya’ll know I am the fucking captain of this ride but that’s besides the point, I just needed to make that clear. She’s finally at a place where she feels confident in who she is and has zero apologies to give out to anyone, nor should she feel the need to. It made me think that TS really needed to go through the reputation era in order to become this artist that she is today -- this fearless (hah, full circle moment), unapologetic, and bold artist that we’ve witnessed come out so neatly in just these last six months. This notion is so evident in even just the first lyrics off of folklore where TS says “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit // been saying yes instead of no”. She talked a little about this on long ponds and explained how in the past she would always try to fit a certain persona, a certain artist that everyone needed her to be. But these days, that taylor is long gone. She is finally who SHE wants to be and all of her actions from this day forward are because SHE wants to make it happen in that way, not anyone else. 

There certainly was no lack of this new bold artist in evermore, which was very  refreshing to witness. Part of this new persona that TS has adopted includes her making small references to certain things in her past and having no shame to sort of make fun, or comment on her growth as a human being. This idea was very evident in “long story short” where TS writes “And I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole, long story short, it was a bad time // Pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips, long story short, it was the wrong guy”. There is something extremely powerful about TS pointing out these huge life-altering events that she had to go through in her past and then talking about it so confidently in these new songs. To hear her speak so nonchalantly  about them makes us, as fans, feel good about it as well. It’s like she’s sending out a message to her fans saying, “Hey, it’s okay. i’m good now and we can finally move past this dark era. Let’s grow together now.” I’m not trying to make this about me or any other fan out there but TS has said time and time again that if it weren’t for her fans, she would not continue making music. We are the fuel that allows her to continue doing what she’s doing every day (her words, not mine) and there’s something so powerful about that. The fact that she’s giving us this much credit will always be one of the biggest honors of my life. 

To dive into some specifics, the song “tolerate it” is by far one of the more powerful songs for me from this album, and maybe even ever. One of the things that makes TS such a spectacular artist and writer is her ability to paint such a vivid picture when describing a feeling. Yes, a feeling. Let’s take a look at some of these lyrics before I explain any further: 

I wait by the door like I’m just a kid // Use my best colors for your portrait // Lay the table with the fancy shit // And watch you tolerate it // If it’s all in my head tell me now // Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow // I know my love should be celebrated // But you tolerate it

I mean HOLYYYYYYYY FUCKKKKKKKKKK. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!? That is so insane! TS literally just described a very specific type of loneliness so perfectly and you don’t even know she’s doing it until after the fact! I immediately recognized what TS was doing with this song because she literally painted this feeling that I personally have experienced many times with a past relationship of mine. This desperate feeling of wanting to be seen, wanting to be loved in the way that you know you deserve, and the constant thoughts of you doubting yourself, wondering if you two are actually in love or if it’s just all in your head.

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky // Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life 

I mean. come. on. I know this because I’ve experienced it but being trapped in another person’s unwillingness to let someone go due to fear of being alone, uncertainty, and just pure selfishness is the loneliest type of lonely there is and TS was able to describe that so beautifully in this song. I will forever treasure this. 

Another song that stood out to me was “no body, no crime” because those country vibes that were so very prominent here made me feel a bit nostalgic to some of TS’ debut songs. Now please don’t take this as me saying I MiSs tHe oLd TaYloR sWiFt but more of a, thank you taylor for being a complete and utter badass to not be afraid to dip yourself into your roots and give your fans a little taste of the medicine that was used to get them addicted to you in the first place. It was refreshing, and fun. 

The last song I’m going to point out is “ivy” only because there is just something extremely magical about TS saying “goddamn” over and over. 

I’m going to end this blog post the same way I do many others, and that is by thanking TS for this album that is nothing short of a masterpiece. I know I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog post before, but TS will always point her creativity into a direction that her fans need the most. For example, we all know TS is currently living her fairytale life with Joe but she decided to walk through the “folklorian woods” for months to get her mind into a place where she can write these epic, imaginary tales that she knows will resonate with a lot of her fans right now. Also in case you have heard the phrase “Taylor saved 2020″ floating around anywhere on social media, I am here to confirm that that is in fact correct. 

Happy 31st birthday Taylor. I will love you forever. 

[grisdidthis]

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST SIGHT

AKA, blessed fucknuggets, why do these fools feel the need to put themselves through high school, my sources tell me that the US school system isn’t all that to begin with, what gives?

PREVIOUS ENTRIES

(Warning: this got long. Looooong. Hence, cut, so that I don’t murder your dash like Edward doesn’t murder Bella in this chapter.)

Welcome to the first entry of a live-read that no one asked for, in which I’ll go through the first chapter of Midnight Sun, i.e. a retelling of the first Twilight book from Edward Cullen’s POV. Not to be confused with Grey, a retelling of the first volume of a Twilight fanfic with the serial numbers filed off, or the Life and Death edition, a retelling of the first Twilight book in which Bella Swan is genderbent into a dude called Beau, who utters the immortal line “I knew I must look like a gorilla on a greyhound.” Which still tickles my humerus to this day.

I’ve waited for this novel to drop so long that at some point I’d stopped waiting. If by some freaky turn of chance you stumbled on this without knowing about the hoopla surrounding the publication, here’s a Wikipedia link. The gist is that the first few chapters of the WIP got leaked, the author got upset, the book got shelved until ??? and no further information about it was forthcoming until a while ago, when out of the blue arrive the news that it’s getting released in August.

My first thought was “Oh, yay, something actually NICE is happening this year!”

My second thought was “Please let it be good, so that I can laugh outrageously at [name redacted] for mocking my enjoyment of this series!” And. Look. I know what’s said about Twilight with regards to its literary merit and Stephenie Meyer’s abilities as a writer. A lot of it is admittedly accurate. However, the metrics by which I measure the value of a book are a) did it entertain me? and b) did I gain anything by having read it? And yeah, those are personal and subjective items, but objectivity is a lie, Jesus enjoys using toasters to take selfies, and if ten years ago I hadn’t been looking for a place to post my 50k+ epic Renesmee-centric fanfic, I wouldn’t have met the people who are currently my best friends.

Which is to say: I’m too attached to this series to give a fig what color the prose is. Deal.

And yet. Me hoping that Midnight Sun would be good, in a way that people who don’t have my level of emotional investment might acknowledge, wasn’t… that farfetched?  Because the last book Meyer released before this one, The Chemist? Is an improvement on all her previous work. A huge improvement! It’s competently written! The characters read like they were intended to be flawed, messy people.

The main romance isn’t the kind of fucked up that Bella and Edward’s is, where you can pen treatises on why they’re omg so unhealthy. It’s the kind of fucked up where five seconds after meeting her love interest, the protagonist drugs him unconscious, kidnaps him, sticks a urinary catheter up his ding dong, straps him to a table and tortures him for information until the guy’s ex-CIA identical twin drops a plane on the barn they’re in and crashes through the ceiling all “HANDS OFF MY BABY BROTHER YOU DISCOUNT MATA HARI!”

Then they all make friends and go on a road trip together because a shady government organization is after them.

That’s not a fucked-up relationship that you write an essay analyzing the fucked-up-ness of. It’s something you stare at, stunned and, if you’re me, torn between thinking “Holy shit, this is so my brand of heroine!!!” and “How much crack was Auntie Steph on when she wrote this?” And it’s beautiful. I want ten more like it. So my hopes for Midnight Sun are tempered by the knowledge that, being a retelling of an established narrative, it can’t go all-out with the batshit. But I’m still optimistic that some part of it will give me that warm “Awww, you’ve come a long way from where we first met, author! Good on you!” feeling.

Now let’s (finally!) get started on the chapter proper.

…oh wait there’s an author’s note.

…uhm. Yeah. My dreams. About those. *fixed stare at faraway bonfire* Actually, let’s not talk about those and just move on to Edward Not Liking High School, thank you. Yeah. That’s good.

Edward Cullen doesn’t like high school. Edward doesn’t like that people think. Edward doesn’t like that the human student body is beside itself with the arrival of some new chick. Edward thinks his adopted siblings are super basic. (Rosalie = shallow, Emmett = simple, Jasper = psycho two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage.) We don’t get to hear his utterly unbiased assessment of Alice, because she butts in and starts a one-sided telepathic convo about how Jasper is two seconds away from jumping off his chair and going on a rampage. You know. Normal sibling stuff.

WHY DO YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THIS HASSLE, WHY!

(Let me take this opportunity to share my pet crack theory that Carlisle Cullen is secretly the most twisted, evil vampire in all of vampiredom, and that the sending the young ones to high school bit is something he does solely because he gets his evil fix by feasting on the emotional toil it inflicts on them. Also why he’s a doctor; he can ignore the call of blood, because being surrounded by the pain of patients and their loved ones already keeps him fed. I mean. He was chilling with the Volturi way back when, and Aro gives off a handsy vibe. No way he didn’t get his mind read in every which way, and if that happened - if he were reaaaalllyyyyy that nice, why would he still ping them as a threat of any kind?)

(This has holes in it, I know. And clashes with my other pet crack theory, which posits that the whole immortal child/Let’s Catch Them All: Cullen Edition was in fact the fallout of a Very Bad Italian Breakup, with Aro being the pissy ex who wants sole custody of the kids.)

Whatever. It still makes more sense than them going through “the inert state between active periods” when. My dudes! College is right there. Some places you can even sit out 90% of lectures and still get your diploma if you don’t feel like faking one, so Jasper would be all set! And you can pick different subjects! Diversify! Why must it always be med school rehashes, there are other worthy professions! And whole fields that are useless for getting-a-job purposes, but still interesting and enriching for those who have the luxury to pursue them. Let Emmett do Viking Studies, for fuck’s sake!

This amuses me much more than it rightfully should. I’m a child.

The Cullen clan tries to pep talk Jasper into not getting his murder on. Jasper is like OMG WILL YOU GUYS LAY OFF, while Edward is busy doing his judgy Edward thing and thinking to himself that Jasper should accept his limitations, that it’s a bad idea to have him at school at all, blah blah bleh, and you know what, I’m with you there, Ed.

Although we all know that this is just setup for the irony that will ensue as soon as Bella the Delicious klutzes her way into his line of smell.

Oh yah! Enter Bella. Edward can’t hear her thoughts. Jessica Stanley is a b-word. Edward wonders whether not being able to butt into the new girl’s head may be a red flag for vampire Alzheimer. Biology class next! The teacher is a man “of no more than average intellect” and, lord. It’s lucky that Edward is the mind reader in the family, because imagine if it were one of the others and they had to put up with listening to him bitch about the world at large, nonstop, at all hours of the day. And night, since these guys don’t sleep. Angela Webber is the only soul in the whole school whose thoughts have the Edward Cullen seal of approval. I feel sorry for her. I also feel this weird sense of hey, this all seems familiar in senses other than being a retelling, have I been here before?

Wait.

WAAAIIIIIITEEEEE.

*googles for the old version*

*runs first chapters through copyleaks*

*kubrick stare* MEYER, YOU LAZY SO AND SO, HOW COULD YOU!

*slams head on desk*

Well. At least I know what I’m in for. HONESTLY! It’s been. It’s been THIS MANY YEARS since the leaked version appeared, and that was a first draft, how in the… she’s way better than this, now! Was this novel produced in a terminal state of $#%CARING#NOT?&FOUND?! Is half of it just going to be the same old thing with a thin veneer of polish? I’m.

*sigh* You know what, I’m okay. We’re just going to call this first part a re-read. It’s been ten years, so I remember not a whole lot of the specifics, so at least I won’t be bored. BUT COME CHAPTER 13 I EXPECT TO BE SWEPT OFF MY FEET, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Biology. Bella walks in right past a fan and gives Edward a throbbing throat boner. How awkward. Then she goes and sits right next to him and saucily tosses her hair around like he’s not actively plotting her murder and that of the rest of the class. The cheek of the thing!

Fortunately, Bella’s tasty ass is momentarily saved by a stiff breeze.

…I think we may have found the solution to Jasper’s control issues. The Cullens just need to start carrying air freshener around and spray the murder out of him every time he starts looking peckish. It would look weird if anyone else did it, but since they’re all pretty and rich, it’s more likely that the trend will catch on and cause Febreze sales to skyrocket.

Anyway. We’re not done victim-blaming Bella for…

…at least another couple of pages, but at least Edward gets his head out of his ass long enough to recall that hey, vampire! Oxygen is optional! But he still spends another lot of words grumbling about what a hassle it is to be forced to hold his breath in order to dampen his murderous urges. This is why you are a virgin, Edward. No, I don’t mean the planning the assassination a classmate’s assassination, plenty of serial killers still manage to get laid heaps, consensually, even! It’s the fact that you’re this much of a buzzkill that’s the issue.

Live, laugh, love, you dumbass disco ball!

Yep, he’s still on about how he’s going to kill her, totes kill her, he feral dangerous vampire, rawr. The miracle of adequate indoor airflow only got him to railroad a quartet of brain cells into thinking up smarter ways of snuffing Bella out. Now he wants to lure her to the forest. No, he’s going to kill her at home! He hates her! No, he hates himself and is projecting!

So he flees to his car, plays some calming music, breathes in and out and thinks about his family and how disappointed they’d be in him if he were to help himself to a Swan shake. Well, I’m nobody to shit talk anyone’s self-soothing routine. I’d probably throw in a truck of food + a bath, but he’s had 100+ years to figure out what coping mechanisms work for him, so let’s just let him do his-

Edward.

EDWARD.

…do you actually think this is an appropriate time to start a ginger-off with some random desk lady? Yes, we know you’re the One True Redhead To Rule Them All. (Though Kvothe from Name of the Wind may beg to differ, and I don’t know who would win that fight.) I mean, really? You pull this crap when you just barely talked yourself out of a murder? And then you call her eyes flat! What!

One of my favorite comic book series, Y the Last Man, features a scene where two characters discuss what it is that truly binds people together. One of them presents the argument that stronger bonds are formed not by shared love, but by shared hates. By which they mean not a kiss-kiss-slap-slap, enemies-to-lovers relationship dynamic, but like… you, being someone who really hates coleslaw, having a partner who likewise hates coleslaw, with whom you can indulge in tireless verbal roastings of coleslaw and who will never get tired of your complaining, because the fire of their loathing burns every bit as hot as yours.

I’ve always felt that this concept resonated with me deeply. And if you apply it to Bella and Edward, by its standards, they have the real deal. Go through the namesake chapter in Twilight-the-book, and you find Bella thinking similarly judgy thoughts, being irked by the same shit that no one normal would bat an eye to, going “Ugh!” and “Gah!” at everything that makes Edward wince internally. So their love will be eternal for sure. Perhaps not in an epic way. They’ll live boringly ever after, until they’re ancient and onion-skinned and lurking at passerby humans through the geraniums on their windowsill, exchanging “Holy crow, I can’t believe she bought a hydrogen engine car just to show off!” / “Awful! She should know that thinning the deer population so that they produce less flatulence is the most sound way of controlling toxic emissions!” And then probably gazing at one another like idiots for an ice age or two.

Edward wants to be moved out of Biology class. Goes back and forth with the desk lady, who obviously wants to tap that, because of course she does. Every hot-blooded woman within spitting distance must crave his alluring icicle, even as he mentally eviscerates every minuscule detail of their appearance.

Except Bella, because she’s soft, translucent, deep-eyed and edible. And, I mean. You can complain all you want about “you’re different from anyone else I’ve ever met, you’re SPECIAL, better, more beautiful, more everything!” being a dead horse of a trope so old and beaten that by all rights it should have turned to smelly glue, but. That pony is still kicking. And by kicking, I mean selling. And it sells because being made to feel special, even if it’s happening by proxy while you’re immersed into the thoughts of a fictional character, is nice. Readers enjoying that experience and seeking out fiction that provides it shouldn’t be considered so… mock-worthy as I’ve seen it be, in discussion of works that feature the trope prominently.

Which doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be nicer if Edward’s narration were focused solely on elevating Bella, instead of also viciously kicking down everyone in the vicinity. Man, we get the message, okay? You don’t need to act like you’ve swallowed a Simon Cowell before coming in for school.

I swear, it’s almost a relief when Bella interrupts, heralding the triumphant return of the throat boner. Edward’s thoughts about the people around him are actually LESS gratuitously bitchy when he’s contemplating how to best murder them.

At least this time he is able to extract himself from the situation and flee speedily. (Which… in Biology, what exactly was preventing him from asking for a bathroom break? Or just saying he was feeling poorly and getting the fuck out of there?)

He meets the sibs. Only Alice has any clue of what is going on because visions, and she doesn’t explain anything to the others, who just stand there baffled while Edward decides to get his shiny ass in his shiny Volvo and run off to Alaska. Probably because it would ruin the serious mood of the scene if she told them and Jasper started doing happy cartwheels at the prospect of no longer being the only fuckup in the family.

END CHAPTER. Same time tomorrow, hopefully, and I’ll TRY to be less longwinded. Try. 

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3

It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 

If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 

We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.

Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  

This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  

Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  

This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 

Motherbitch, this is stupid.

I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.

Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 

I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 

-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  

Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 

We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 

I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 

So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  

Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 

We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 

"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug

[sighs]

Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.

IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN

A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.

Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 

Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 

Aaaaand, we're back!

Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.

[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.

But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:

The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop

The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.

Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 

WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 

DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 

Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 

Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 

Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 

YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 

So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.

See you next week.

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Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)

Episode 2

Episode 1

[myqueenmarceline]

Slow Dance Ch. 8

Summary: Marceline worries some more and gets a text.

This was beta-read by @nebula-gaster, thanks bud!

Chapter 8: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14520357/chapters/52182580

Read it from the beginning: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14520357/chapters/33547989

No content warnings, you can read it under the cut:

Marceline stared up at the ceiling, tapping her pen against the edge of the desk. Normally she couldn’t scribble down lyrics fast enough, but she’d been hitting a bit of writer’s block lately.

She’d tried to sketch out a few ideas this afternoon, but all of the rhymes sounded cliche and the words never seemed to fit the beat she was imagining. She’d been trying to force herself through it, but that only seemed to be making matters worse. So here she was, staring up at the cracks on her ceiling and wondering what to do.

She sighed, sitting up a little and reaching for her phone. Still no new messages. She knew she shouldn't expect too much, but she figured Bonnie would have at least sent a message to let Marceline know she was still alive. Sure she was at a convention, but that didn’t mean she was busy 24/7. Marceline didn't understand anything about robotics, but she could still appreciate a few photos of the robots or something.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. In the four days after Bonnie had gone off to the convention, Marceline hadn't gotten anything. She’d sent a message yesterday, just a little “Morning, hope you’re doing ok babe ;p” to let Bonnie know she was thinking of her. She didn't even know if Bonnie had seen the message.

She’d tried her best to keep busy, re-recording a couple of old songs and hanging out with Finn for a movie night, but Marceline’s mind kept drifting back to Bonnie. It would be a challenge for anyone to get those soft pink lips out of their head, but now that she’d finally gotten a taste of them again, Marceline wanted more. She just wanted to spend time with Bonnie, to hold her hand and hear her laugh… As much fun as it would be to write a gay song, Marceline had sketched out three ideas for similar melodies yesterday and they’d gone nowhere. Damn it, she was going out of her mind over here! What would it take to get her train of thought back on track?

Maybe a meal would brighten up her mood. She’d eaten a small breakfast earlier, but a few strawberries weren’t enough fuel for an undead brain. Marceline tucked her phone into her flannel pocket, closing the notebook and pushing it away.

She meandered over to the hole in her floor and jumped, pulling her legs up a little as she began to float. She always got a little thrill of stopping right before she hit the floor, magic crackling through her body as she awakened her powers. She didn’t get into fights as often any more, but she needed to use up her energy somehow.

The tiles looked especially cold today so Marceline floated over to the fridge, her feet hovering a few inches off of the floor. She opened the door, squinting as she looked around. The flickering light inside the fridge didn’t illuminate much. A bit of pink rock candy, a few apples that were beginning to wither, and a few strawberries sitting in a mostly-empty plastic box. Ugh, she really needed to go grocery shopping, but she didn’t feel like leaving the house.

Besides, she was hungry now, and she didn’t want to wait to get food. She grabbed one of the apples, wedging it inside her mouth. The apple was still good, and she drank a little bit from it as she looked around. She opened all of the doors inside the fridge, looking for anything else she could eat.

The ice-box rattled a little when she pulled it open, a grayish-purple can rolling up to the front. She reached into the back, scratching a little at the ice. A few more cans rolled into view, the familiar grape logo sitting face-up. Apparently she still had a few cans of Super Porp left.

Marceline picked one up and held it up to her ear, listening intently. She could faintly hear the hiss carbonation inside, so hadn't gone bad yet. She held the can away from her and tentatively cracked open, bracing herself for a sugary explosion. The Porp fizzed up, but only a little bit of it spilled over the edge.

Marceline drank a little bit more of her apple, then slurped the fizz off of the top of the can. Purple was close enough to red that she could usually tolerate it, especially if she ate it with something else. The soda had a slightly metallic taste, but it was still pretty good.

She floated over to the kitchen counter, looking around. The room looked the same as it always did, the cool yellow walls contrasting with the pastel green paneling. There were a few dirty dishes sitting around, and a small pile of mail stacked on the counter next to her. She continued eating, swinging her legs back and forth as idle thoughts ran through her mind.

Her phone hadn’t buzzed, so there were no new messages from Bonnie. Finn had called her earlier today to tell her about an adventure, so he was probably too tired to come over again. She could always clean up a little bit… Even if Bonnie wasn’t coming over, it was nice to have a clean house. Maybe if this place looked less like a sad sack owned it, she wouldn't feel so bad.

After a quick sweep of the living room, Marceline had collected three plates and one bowl. The plates didn’t need much more than a quick rinse, and once Marceline had scraped the strawberry leaves into the garbage, the bowl was pretty much clean. She forced herself to scrub it anyways, making sure that it was completely clean.

She wiped each of them off with the towel hanging by her sink, then stacked them in the cupboard. All of her glassware was mismatched, most of it collected in single pieces that she had scavenged from wrecks or found heavily discounted at markets. It wasn’t much, but no one ever really complained. Anyone she knew didn't come over to her house expecting fancy stuff. She even had one of Bonnie’s wineglasses gathering dust in the back of the cupboard, the pink turning a slightly grimy grey. Marceline stared at it for a long moment, then closed the cupboard door. Her focus was on cleaning up right now, not making everything in her cupboards spotless.

The mail was next, and Marceline slouched over to the counter again. There were a lot of advertisements that she briefly looked at, setting one about a new record shop aside for later. If the messenger giving those out could brave her cave, then she supposed she could at least show up and see what they had to offer. She pushed the garbage can so it was next to the counter, then swept the rest of the ads into it. They would be more useful in there than they ever would be to Marceline. Maybe if she threw them out, some hobo could use them to light a garbage fire.

She moved on to the letters next, humming a little as she shifted through them. One bogus bill that belonged on the trash, one from Ice King that looked sad which went back on the counter for later, and—Marceline jumped when she felt her phone vibrate, tossing the last letter aside and fumbling for her phone. She sucked in a breath, pressing her lips together as she opened it up.

There was a new message! Marceline forced herself to breathe, trying not to get overly excited. It could just be one word. Well, knowing Bonnibel it would probably be at least three, but still…

She clicked on the message with slightly shaking fingers, chewing on her bottom lip as she read it.

Hello Marceline! I’m sorry for my lack of contact, things got very busy for me. However, I got back earlier today, and I have a bit of free time tonight. Can you meet me in the rock candy forest by my castle at 11:30pm please? Don’t worry about bringing anything, I’ll take care of it.

Marceline sucked her teeth, reading the message over again. Well, it was kind of strange of Bonnie to ask for something so last-minute, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing in the world. Marceline would be lying if she said her cold heart didn't heat up a little bit at the thought of seeing Bonnie again. In ten seconds, she had typed out a reply and sent it.

Okay, I’ll be there :)

Bonnibel replied quickly, as if she’d been waiting to see what Marceline would say.

Excellent, I’ll go get ready. See you then.

Yeah, it was pretty excellent. Marceline wasn't totally sure what she’d been expecting, but this seemed like it was going to turn out okay. Bonnie was always pretty formal, but Marceline didn’t feel like she was angry in the texts.

Speaking of that, she should probably go get ready… Marceline glanced up at the clock, wincing a little. It was already almost nine twenty, and she had to shower and change! She couldn’t go see Bonnie with a four day old funk, especially if they were going to be cuddling again.

As she flew upstairs to go pick out an outfit, Marceline knew that one thing was certain: her night was about to get way more interesting.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the DIvine 42

Spoilers, obv.

Probably time for the periodic reminder that these notes are an assorted of random thoughts, and any attempt to take anything I describe herein as the sole reason we did anything is a mistake. I would hope by this stage of WicDiv we should recognise that, in that it's one of the book's major themes – as in, Be Careful When Jumping To Conclusions From Limited Information, but it's worth stressing. I was talking to a friend, and the idea came up that when the whole thing is over, to do a whole OTHER set of writer notes about the writer notes. As in, "Now this is all over, I can actually talk about some of the things I wasn't talking about at this stage." As we step towards the end, more of that big picture stuff is going to creep in. Not yet though – when thinking of this issue, I thought "Shall I write this?" and realised it still is too early.

I will be glad when this is done, for many reasons, but being able to just talk freely is one of them. I also suspect I won't be doing a huge amount of that. DIE has no writers notes per se, and that's the direction I'm heading.

Anyway - "Okay" is six issues, but the last issue is an epilogue. That means the arc is actually five issues, and this is its mid-point. It's also one of those issues where when after I wrote it I realised that the dovetailing material had created an unusually prominent thematic backbone. Last time I can think of one as strong would be issue 31, where the concept of Theft just percolated it. This is even strong.

This is an issue primarily about masculinity and the men in the story. Two of those men die. One man reaches the key turning point. Two other men have clearly key beats. This is rare in WicDiv, where the women tend to be at the centre of the plot.

Jamie/Matt's Cover: Which makes the cover being this somewhat pointed. Brunhilde, smeared in blood. All our covers are inspired by something inside the issue, and someone in it. This is in the tradition of issue 10's cover, which promises something obliquely.

Vanesa Del Rey's Cover: I love Vanesa's work – do read Redlands – so getting her to do a full-witchy Norns made a lot of sense.

Page 1

One page scene, which is telling. As the solicits put it "I just read the synopsis for this issue and gaped. We’re actually going to do all this in an issue? That AND that AND that? Honestly, this last arc really is going for it." When writing that, it was a question I clearly asked myself. How can I get all this in? Any one of the three set-pieces is probably enough drama for an issue, but they structurally speaking have to be here.

As each key scene is so big we give them as much space as possible, so everything else is crunched down. The scene structure is 1-5-1-6-1-4-3. And the last two scenes could really be read as 1-1-5 in terms of what the pages are doing – or maybe 1-1.5-4.5.. Each of the big stories actually get five pages – the 6 is actually 5 pages of page budget.

Anyway – TIGHT!

As the antagonists were missing from last issue, we catch up with them here, giving Baal a key baal image of standing on top of the shard. Look what Jamie does with the verticality of that first panel. Even on a five panel page, it feels big.

Matt's using a purple palette her – which is the Inanna palette that Baal turns to occasionally, for obvious reasons.

Still – even with a one page scene, we get two silent panels, plus the WicDivian use of mobile phone read out. I'll miss working with this team. It's easy to see what we do in the set-pieces, but it's the basic work which is a delight.

First of Jamie's strong expressions at the end of the page.

Christ. This much words on the first page. I'll cut down.

Page 2

Bible quote from John, subverted. I often think of these kind of truisms like that. The whole "What does not kill you only weakens you for final inevitable collapse" kind of thing.

Page 3-7

PoV shot to keep the reveal of the Creature for the page turn, leaving room for Jamie's quiet acting. I like trying to keep these kind of scenes quite low key, to ground the fantasy of it. What would you do when seeing something like the Creature? What would you do after five minutes of exposure?

The PoV hopefully reminds people of when we've seen this before – as in, Minerva. The Captions re-set the stakes, and adds more specific information. Clearly we could have said the "we need him on our side or not alive" at the end of last issue, but that would have complicated things, especially as it's a story route we're not going down here.

The heads thing is my biggest lampshading of the key thing in this arc – as in, not everyone knows everything, and the holes in the knowledge is significant. Trying to remember who knows what and when is one of the many challenges.

In terms of "this is everything I've ever loved" the visual reference I gave Jamie was the people entombed and dismembered in Aliens. The 2 panel reveal is a standard thing we've done since Phonogram. As I've said before, I quite like having a response next to an image rather than on the next page.

The catch up is a necessary paraphrase of the specials, including a little extra information. This arc features quite a bit of this (next issue especially) in terms of making concrete things which readers may not actually work out. There's stuff which I don't explain – but the 1831-Inanna-was-not-a-god would very much be among them. As I've also said before, I've always been interested in which things actually make people theorise and which don't, and I never saw anyone question that element of 1831 – I suspect a re-reading of 1831 the tells are clear.

(Her grasping that necklace in most of the scenes is one of the more subtle ones, but when you realise that she's not telling you a key fact, it's very much the sister issue to Woden's 14 in "When you know what the narrator is not telling you, it all changes." That her own transformation is completely skirted over is a huge absence.)

To state the obvious, the Why Some Bits Of 1921 Had To Be In Prose may also be clear now. If we'd shown the Zeitgeist, you'd have known who she was.

I love what Jamie did with the Metropolis-inspired element of the design on her on the wall.

Page 6 has another of "The characters know different stuff, so we have to be true to the characters, and then avert the derailment" captions.

Jamie has to work overtime in this whole sequence, of course – Baal's realisation of the awful horror of what he's done is happening at the same time as an information download. That the information download is what hits Baal ties it together, but does mean these are dense panel layouts. Jamie's choice of moments. The expression in the last page of 6 just kills me.

The last page of the sequence is just horrible. There is a lot of horrible in this issue.

Page 8

And the second of the one-page scenes. I originally had Mimir go up to the surface to make the call, but remembered I'd already established at least 3G coverage in the underground.

Let us applaud Jamie's design for the jury-rigged Mimir phone for a second, and the expression as he sends, and the shot as he walks back. There's a lot here.

Yes, I'm aware that it's a little strange that we get the heads free again (and three with bodies) and this is the only action by them in the next issue is this. They'll have their time soon enough.

This is another heartbreaker. Dominoes falling.

Page 9

Reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths, the 1980s DC event which basically formalised the modern crossover

Page 10-15

Another tightly packed scene, but also one I knew we needed space on. Abstractly the first two pages could be a single page. In fact, in terms of page budget, they are. We're using repeats (and tiny tweaks) on panels to extend a moment, so we give Woden the appropriate amount of time to actually think this through. Woden's mask has been a major boon for such trickery, and this scene wouldn't have played nearly as well.  Note how we turn to a rigid grid to ensure this actually works.

There's a lot of great expressions in this issue, but Minerva's "It's a name as good as any" is an under-rated one. The soft change from "be"ing Mini to "be"ing Ananke.

Page 12 reveal of the Valk's teleporting in the sort of colouring rush I want to stand up and applaud for.

Minerva's explanation to Woden is another thing we're doing this arc – as in REALLY making explicit things which the reader has been 100% shown already, and may have missed. (We've seen Minerva appear out of nowhere twice. We see that she has the same memories – she knows the number to call to contact Ananke. We've seen they don't share a consciousness because she has to phone to tell Ananke where she is when she arrives in 2013, etc) but it's such key stuff to the understanding of the story that it's important to state it outright.

Anyway, Woden's fucked. It's been a long time coming, and he gets consumed by his hamartia. It's not the cleanest example of it, but it's there. He had several chances to back out of this, but at the end, he still is trying to treat other people like objects to further his own needs.

The Maened death sequence connected to the hive mind was set up all he way back in issue 8, of course. There is a lot that's horrible here – the revenge against Woden is hollow. The Valkyries are still being used as tools, after all.

Still... that at this late stage that Minerva, for all her obvious monstrosity, can still get a fist-pump moment from the readers for killing another character is a sign of how loathsome a certain other character is.

Minerva provides the back quote here too. "I am oh so bored of men like you." Rarely has a quote fit an issue as well, I suspect.

I do wonder how long I would have stretched out the death sequence given more space. Probably for the best- this is metronomic, clinical, and horrible. The use of the grid and the hard cuts sort of reminds me of some of the dance-beat stuff we did.

Page 16

Another one page scene, and definitely one I'd have given more time to in another issue... but that moment with Baal and his family and him being seen was absolutely essential. Once again, Jamie does a lot with six panels – the thing one of Baal's expression in panel 5 is a hell of a thing. Laura's captions also do the heavy lifting connecting the scenes. This is a mode I'm more using over in DIE.

The middle panel is interesting for Jamie's choices – very wide, to show the fight scene in almost scrolling fighter way, but still giving space to see Laura and Cass arrive. There is a LOT here. Compare and contrast with the previous panel, which gives the more traditional comics action shot, used in a stealth mode. Jamie is very good here.

Page 17-20

Back in the underworld. Panel swap from the blues and whites of the previous page to the warm reds. In some ways, 17 could be seen as one of those one page scenes. This is Baal and Inanna. What can I say? No more than Baal can, clearly.

18 is the last elements of set up for next issue, but is also clearly setting up the end of the issue. The "Ever" from Nergal is obviously loaded – it's a Now Or Never.

"Faces are remaining distinctly unkicked." Oh, Lucifer, I missed you so.

The "It's gone midnight" bit from Cass on 19 is something I suspect I'll cut for the trade – it's an artefact from me trying to overexplain something. Reminding people of the failsafe from Imperial Phase is enough.

19 also is one of my favourite beats, in that it's not part of WicDiv's planned structure, and just listening to the characters. Of course, Cass would say something inappropriate about Woden's death. Of course, Mimir would be heartbroken. And, of course, Cass would realise. Being better is hard. Cass's "I'm so sorry" is an amazing panel from Jamie. I've been there.

20 is tightly wound too – I could have given more space, at the expense of the next scene. In the end, I decided this was the right way to go. I haven't changed my mind.

In the original draft Cass's last line was "Oh fuck." After Baal's line, it seemed too much... and  you always know things are going badly when Cass doesn't swear.

Page 23

Reference to Satre's perhaps most famous line.

Page 24-26

Nine panel grid, back again. It's taken a late period WicDiv life of its own, right?

There's little I can say about this – partially as I don't want to, partially because it's still too early. It's the sort of thing I may talk about in issue 44's notes.

It's a slow motion showcase of Jamie's acting. I'd never write this for almost anyone else. This is as real a sacrifice as we can get, and the longer we spend with the moment, the realer it is, but only if it's grounded visually.

Baph's own story was about his fear of death. He's the character who tried to kill other people to scramble out of this. He's come to a place where he does this. Normally WicDiv gods are consumed by their hamartia. I believe Baph is the first who actually overcome his. This scene breaks my heart.

(This Corrosion just turned up in shuffle, and the like a healing hand howl is a bit too close to the bone.)

Last page is astounding. Not a way I'd have pictured it in a million years.

Page 27

I believe uniquely for WicDiv, this is a continuing interstitial. As in, a response to the previous one. Issue 43 is going to be late, for the health reasons I describe at the back of the issue. It's at the printers now.

Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: The Shining Beacon Pt. 2

This is the last (!!!) reposting from March 26, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps onto tumblr. Thanks!

With Volume Five completed and the latest season of RWBY Chibi underway, I thought it time to start these recaps back up again. Yes, we're jumping around a bit--back to Volume One--but we'll get to all the episodes eventually!

In fact, the simple days of Volume One feel pretty wonderful right now...

We begin with a pan across Beacon's entrance (our shining Beacon as the title attests), giving us another good look at the school that's presumably the best Huntsmen academy in Remnant. We're not told exactly how much time has passed between this episode and the last, but I guess it's been a couple of hours? When we last saw Ruby and Jaune they were lost, looking for a food court, and when they meet up with Yang she asks Ruby how her day has been. I'd love to read some fics exploring their first few hours together before they finally figured out where to go.

So it's presumably late afternoon when all the freshmen gather in a large meeting room, the same one that will later be used to welcome the other academies and allow everyone to choose their first missions. For now though it's chock full of shadow people and Ruby immediately abandons Jaune once she spots Yang--which is pretty rude of her? I get that Ruby is supposedly bad at making friends, but contrary to that we've always seen her as incredibly sensitive towards others and she was just abandoned by Yang earlier that day. She calls her out on it two seconds later too, so I actually find it a little hard to believe that Ruby would ditch the one new person who's been nice to her when he clearly has nowhere else to go. Jaune literally lurks in the background being awkward.

I’ve been there, Jaune. It sucks. 

Nevertheless, it allows the writers to flesh out his Nice Guy mentality that we'll see him working to overcome over the next two volumes. As Ruby leaves, Jaune wonders where he'll find another "nice, quirky girl to talk to." We're not in a YA novel, Jaune. There are no manic pixie dream girls to sooth your manly angst.

Oh, except for the redhead that's conspicuously revealed when Jaune walks off screen. Not that I would ever disparage the glorious Pyrrha Nikos with such a title.

Yang: "I saved you a spot!"

You... did? In the giant room with only a handful of people that Rooster Teeth had the time and budget to animate? Oh yeah, I'm sure it was real hard claiming that spot for Ruby.

As Ruby tears into Yang for ditching her and recaps all the shit she went through that morning, Yang develops an expression that is the very embodiment of yikes and asks if Ruby is having a "meltdown already?" Interesting choice of words. It could just be exaggerated, sibling teasing--to match what Yang assumes is an exaggerated tale--but I do wonder if Ruby has had "meltdowns" before. We don't know much about their lives pre-Beacon, but I can imagine that a socially awkward girl growing up in a world infested by grimm, who lost her mom too early, dealt with a depressed father, and was in part raised by a sister just two years older than her might have had a tantrum or two.

I do find it a little hilarious though that Yang doesn't believe her at first. Given everything Ruby is going to do in the next week alone, it’s 100% believable that she would explode on her first day of school. Classic Ruby.

As she recounts the whole debacle, who should overhear but scary, shouting Weiss? I absolutely love that they have her literally creeping up behind Ruby only to yell "YOU!" at the end of her speech. If Weiss really hated this girl she could have easily ignored her. But no. Weiss' dramatic ass has to re-introduce herself in the most extra way possible. As Ruby throws herself into Yang's arms (adorable) Weiss gives a sped-up, high-pitched legal info dump about what the Schnee Dust Company is and is not responsible for. At the time this was pretty funny--another one of the cutesy edits that characterize Volumes One through Two--but now that we know more about Weiss' home life? About her abusive father and how the dignity of the Schnee name has been ground into her since birth? The fact that Weiss can rattle this off and feels like she has to suddenly isn't very funny anymore.

Ruby tries to salvage the situation by starting things over and asking to be friends, and of course Weiss is an absolute brat about it. She mimics the cliched, air-headed girl, saying that she and Ruby can "Try on cute clothes and paint our nails and talk about boys!" throwing in an insult at poor Jaune while she's at it ("scraggly"). The fact that Ruby happily agrees tells me two things: 1. She shares a lot of those traditionally "feminine" interests (which is great considering we usually only see her geeking out over weaponry) and 2. this is some of the first evidence we see for headcanoned autistic!Ruby. Weiss' tone is very clearly sarcastic, but Ruby reads it as quite earnest, honestly surprised when it's revealed she's being duped. Before these three can start a real fight though Ozpin takes the stage to make, in his own words, a short announcement.

Now this is by far one of the most fascinating moments in Volume One. Especially after Volume Five's world building. A lot of fans have speculated that Ozpin isn't... well, Ozpin here. That one of his other souls (perhaps the man whose body he currently inhabits) is the one speaking to the new students. This is based mostly off of Ruby and Yang's comments that he "seemed kind of off" and, crucially, that is was "almost like he wasn't even there." Admittedly there are a number of holes in this theory (If a full merge is a thing, wouldn't Ozpin's latest two souls already have merged by now considering that he's possessed that body for years? How does Yang know when he's "off"? She's never even met the guy), and ultimately I'm inclined to think that these were lines that perhaps were supposed to go somewhere, but were then dropped. Or just generic ‘oooh look Ozpin is mysterious’ characterization. 

Regardless, there is something pretty fishy about this scene, most notably the cinematography. Ozpin is animated primarily in close ups with half his face (his eyes) cut off, he's shot once from behind, and only once do we get to see his whole expression. As said, he's filmed as if he's this mysterious, shadowy figure that we're just meeting; like we hadn't already had a whole conversation with him over cookies two episodes back. If you wanted to make a case that someone other than Ozpin is speaking here, the cinematography might be one way to do it. But, more likely, I think it’s RT pushing for the ‘he’s super morally gray!’ aspect, even though we actually learn too much about Ozpin to really make that work. 

His dialogue is just as interesting though. Ozpin tells the kids that all he sees is "wasted energy," that no matter how driven they might be to succeed it means nothing without proper effort. Dreams alone won't cut it: "Knowledge will only take you so far. It's up to you to take the first step." Ozpin is far from one to shy away from reality, but he's usually kinder than this too. This is perhaps additional evidence that a part of Ozpin--one we don't see very often--is in control here; a personality not as inclined to sugarcoat things. 

This word choice also tells us a lot about his motivations. As we'll learn later, Jaune forged his transcripts to get into Beacon and a lot of people wonder why the hell Ozpin would let an untrained kid get away with that. Ultimately though Jaune isn't in much more danger than anyone else. As Pyrrha's death makes abundantly clear, even the strongest of them can easily fall when up against the sorts of enemies they face. Thus, Ozpin prizes determination--the drive to do good--over talent or current levels of strength. Jaune was let in because he took his own first (admittedly illegal and arguably immoral) step and Ozpin, like with Ruby, rewards his resolve. This reminds me of Raven who has the knowledge of the threat Salem poses but refuses to do anything about it. Already we’re seeing characters who have internal motivations (a need to do good) and later we’ll meet others who just... don’t. 

Again, Pyrrha showed us that being a prodigy is not a guarantee of success. Ozpin reminds everyone of that here. 

But that horrible episode is still a ways off!

For now the kids shrug off his ominous speech and crowd together later that night in the dining hall for a sleepover, considering that they still haven't passed initiation and haven't found their teams yet. Yang jokes that Dad wouldn't approve of them sleeping with all these boys, though it's clear that she does. (Bi Yang, bi Yang!) Ruby continues writing a letter to "the gang back at Signal" which honestly kind of drives me up the wall? Yang ran off with her shadow friends and Ruby is writing to Signal friends and neither of these groups are ever heard from again. Yes, obviously the show is about their new friends at Beacon, but past friendships are important too, particularly for Ruby. She's been uprooted two years early and is supposedly really bad at forming new relationships. Theoretically we should have gotten something touching on all this: Yang torn between her new team and old loyalties; Ruby avoiding trying to get close to Weiss by texting Signal buddies. It would have rounded things out a whole lot more and, once we expand beyond Beacon in Volume Four, would have given us a lot of opportunities to see how these girls are connected to Remnant as a whole. 

They're certainly determined to make friends now though. Ruby spots the girl from earlier in the courtyard (Blake) and before she can stop her Yang quite literally drags them over with a hilariously drawn-out, "Hello!" Too bad Blake isn't interested in pleasantries. Especially when Yang draws attention to her bow. She won't shake their hands and is pretty damn blunt about how she wants them to leave. We have a clear divide down the team between the social butterflies (Ruby + Yang) and the abused girls who haven't had the chance to figure out how to talk to people yet (Weiss + Blake). It makes for a well-balanced dynamic and later a whole lot of conflict.

Blake will always have a soft spot for books though. She opens up a bit when Ruby asks the title of hers and explains that it's about “A man with two souls, each fighting for control over his body.” Ha. THAT'S not significant or anything. 

We have some lovely setup for Volume Two/Three in which Blake lectures Ruby on how real life isn't like a fairy tale. Ruby already knows this. She just wants to work to make it as close to one as possible. A lot of viewers forget the difference between naivety and optimism when it comes to her characterization and though Ruby will prove short-sighted in many respects later on, she’s never thought the world was perfect.

As Ruby and Yang get into another cartoon fight (a visual technique we won't be seeing for long), the commotion draws over Weiss who is not pleased that the troublemaker is Ruby again. She yells that Ruby is a "hazard to my health!" and I cackle at what a little drama queen she is. As they continue their fight Blake blows out her candle, ending our episode with the first shot that contains all of Team RWBY.

Other Details 

When Weiss yells at Ruby she cries, "Oh god it's happening again!" 'Oh God' is such a common phrase in the English language that it only makes sense we'd use it to help characters express themselves, but it still raises some interesting, in-world questions. Is there a lot of organized religion? We know Qrow mentions people believing in various gods, but is it common enough to create this same phrase? Meanwhile, poor Ozpin has to cope with knowing that gods do exist and they're absolute assholes.

Ozpin doesn't even introduce himself to the kids. Like yeah, obviously everyone already knows who he is, but he could have at least started with a "Hey, I'm old as balls Ozpin" instead of jumping straight into a lecture about how pathetic their work ethic is. I’m torn between the “That wasn’t Ozpin” theory and just a straight up, “The man is SAVAGE at times hell yeah.” Granted, this is the guy that’s gonna chuck his students off a cliff in a few hours, so I’m leaning towards the latter...

We see Ozpin making use of his cane despite the fact that he doesn't appear to need it 99% of the time. Easiest way to walk around with it, or was this particular body injured once? 

Love how horribly offensive Yang is here lol: "Yeah, this girl is a lost cause." Like damn Blake's right there!

Ruby is dressed in a tank top that I think has an Ursa on it. Made all cute of course and with a face mask with matching, red slitted eyes. It's a great bit of world building and says a lot about Ruby's personality. (Honestly I wouldn't be surprised to see Nora in those PJs either.)

[saleintothe90s]

384. “Mad About You” series finale (5/24/1999)

(source)

So, I remember watching the series finale of Mad About You that night, but I haven’t watched it again since it originally aired. I do remember feeling let down at the end however. This is what I remember from 20 years ago, maybe I’ll remember some forgotten details once I re watch it...which I will after I make this list: 

- Janeane Garofolo was Paul & Jamie’s daughter Mabel all grown up and she had come out with a documentary about her life? Her dad’s life? The film was everything after 1999?

-Paul & Jamie bought the apartment across from them and merged it into theirs? Which didn’t make any sense. Everybody had to walk through P&J’s bedroom to get to the expansion?

-Paul & Jamie were pregnant again with twins but she lost the babies? I just remember the scene where Paul rushes into the apartment with a double stroller excited that he found one. He sees the message light on the answering machine and it’s Jamie. I was trying to figure out if this was early on when Mabel was still a one year old, and one seat in the stroller was for her, or Jamie was pregnant with twins. 

-Paul’s dad died real early on in the episode. 

-Paul and Jamie wonder who should give her the birds and the bees talk when Mabel is a teenager, but turns out they waited too long. When Paul sits down with her to discuss it, she interrupts him and says that she’s already had sex, or she was already on the pill. Paul decides to take Mabel out for bagels every Saturday morning so he can remain closer to her. I just remember them eating bagels and sitting on a stoop. 

- Paul and Jamie separate for realz this time. Remember when they temporarily separated but then got back together and Jamie got pregnant with Mabel?  

[That episode is titled “The Finale”, please don’t confuse it for this one like I almost did. In case you’re wondering about my bitmoji dressed like a snail, our power went on and off the entire time I was writing this. I went ahead and used that save video me website so I could watch the clips offline.] 

- Jamie had become really cold at that point in her life and Paul had it. 

-The last scene was everybody watching Mabel’s documentary in a movie theater and P&J were a little embarrassed. Paul (almost crying) asks Jamie if she would like to go out for pie.

-Clearly they hadn’t shot enough because the last five minutes were “home movies” of the two and Mabel in central park. The montage seemed to last for-ever. 

-Before I re-watch, I also wanted to mention that I hate the theme song! 

I found the episode on DailyMotion, and the username of the uploader is “Magic School Bus” ... ms. frizzle is that you?  It also appears that Ms. Frizzle recorded this episode from syndication, so there might be a tiny scene or two missing. 

(part 1, part 2)

(Apparently it’s on the internet archive too, but it took forever to get the vid to play on my iPad. It has commercials though!) https://archive.org/details/MelrosePlaceHomeImprovementFinales1999 

So, Mabel’s film was titled “The reason why I am this way”. Maybe a grad school project?. Janeane looks grad school age here. 

The film starts with Paul & Jamie’s anniversary when Mabel was 1 in 1999. I was right!

A bird pooped on Paul! Nah, it was just Lyle Lovett the construction worker spilling paint. He married Jamie n Paul 7 years ago, but turns out he’s NOT an ordained minster, so they’re not officially married.  This is so dumb. Such a trope, right? 

Jamie is freaking out that they’re not really husband and wife. Paul is the rational one here, he says just go to city hall next week! Jamie is all “no, we gotta do it today, its our anniversary!”  So they go, there’s a chapel at city hall, there’s a lady named Phyllis there as a witness and who throws rice (25¢ a throw!)  

Stupidly, however, Jamie runs away. I do remember this freeze frame from the episode.

There’s lots of jumping around through time while all this is going on, I forgot about that, I just thought it was a straight up timeline.

We jump to 2005 where P&J are in therapy for the thousandth time, also when Paul goes in for a vasectomy. At first, I didn’t realize that Jamie was talking to her sister, Lisa in the waiting room since she had short hair. Jamie tries to explain to her that Mabel doesn’t need a sister, but Lisa guilt trips her. Jamie tells Paul that she thinks they made a mistake. They Michael Scott-eded it:

It’s 2011 and P&J are trying to give 11 year old Mabel the sex talk.

In 2004 Murray (remember, the dog? Yeah, the dog got forgotten somewhere in the series) got a girlfriend and they had puppies!  There is the best scene ever where Paul teaches Mabel how to shoot video and Nat the dog walker (played by Helen Hunt’s then husband, Hank Azaria) does a play talk show with the puppies. IT’S TOO CUTE, I put it on instagram. I forgot that Hank was on the show. I still remember how heartbroken I was though when Hank and Helen broke up, though.

There’s a real quick scene in the sports shop that Paul’s family owns (which I forgot about in the series). Jeff Garlin (who I like to call “Daddy Goldberg” since I love him on The Goldbergs) is teasing Paul for all his vasectomies. blah blah. You know what I noticed? That old Sketchers shoebox! Those ugly chunky metallic shoes they made in ’95 ’96 used to come in those boxes.  aw. ugliest shoes I ever had, they were most def. Airwalk Jim knockoffs. ANYWAY.

Mabel’s first film “Stabbing Bob” comes out in late 2021 when she’s 23. The whole family is there, including Cyndi Lauper who married Paul’s brother  cousin Ira. The whole family tries to get Paul and Jamie to sit together, so obviously something went DOWN between 2011 and 2021. This is when the syndicated version cuts off.

Part 2 begins again with Mabel’s documentary and her asking “Who do you think was responsible for my parents breakup? The one who ran away from the altar and changed her mind three times about whether or not her partner should have painful private surgery … or the other guy?” So when this film was made, Jamie and Paul were still broken up? Mabel is really tearing Jamie up a new one here. Jamie is the devil.

Back to 2005 and Jamie is pregnant, because Paul didn’t get that vasectomy. This is where everything is back on track with my memories of the episode. Except for those ugly ass pajamas. wow. Jamie is only supposed to be 42 here, the pajamas and glasses made her look 60.

2012, Mabel is 14 and she never did get that sex talk…perfect tribute to Whitney though, considering she had recently died.

Oh, no here comes the stroller scene in 2006. Paul is so happy, he says, “I found it! Last one in the city, and I found it! One big seat one little seat! 2 kids, one carriage! One big happy family. ” Uh, Mabel is 9.  The “one big seat, one little seat!”  makes me wonder if the writers forgot what year it was? Why would there be a big seat and a little seat?” Twins are the same size.  Those stroller seats look the same size. Paul finds a note left by Jamie, so it wasn’t an answering machine message.

In early 2021 we see Jamie’s bff Fran, FINALLY. I was wondering where Fran was! She was married to Richard Kind and he left her so he could ride motorcycles like “Easy Rider”, (remember when Fran kept calling the movie “The Easy Rider” and it drove Richard crazy, he was like, “the name of the movie is EASY RIDER, NOT ‘THE EASY RIDER!”). Riffs is somehow still open, martini glasses are taller, forks have clear spiral handles, and Fran be looking like something that walked off the Enterprise.  

Oh, and Paul left Jamie. Jamie now is wearing reading glasses around her neck. Oh, honey noo, you’re only 58.  Here is Helen Hunt in 2018:

Paul said that Jamie is unkind and that was why he was leaving.  

Aw, there’s my fozzie bear!

Costume and Makeup got Paul Reiser exactly right though!

After that, Paul & Jamie had to be straight with Mabel at all times. Ok, whatever:

 So I was also wrong about Paul’s died dying when Mabel was little.

On the way to the funeral, Paul’s mom encourages the two to pay a bribe so they can buy the apartment across the hall. She says, “Then Mabel can have a room.” …. Mabel didn’t have a room? She was 13 in the Murray’s not real scene. Where did she sleep?!  Now I remember thinking way back then that the episode left a lot of plot holes open, this being one!

I remember feeling kind of turned off by this elevator scene with the sad music after the funeral. I didn’t know the phrase back then, but now I know that it feels so forced. We get it. Paul’s mom is alone.

Casting didn’t do a good job with teenage Mabel, she’s supposed to be 18 in 2015 and it’s still the girl who played her when she was 12. w2g. I didn’t make a screen grab but I was right about Mabel having to cross her parents bedroom, and bathroom to get to her room. I was also right about the bagels! 

It’s back to the scene in late 2021 where everybody is watching the end of Mabel’s movie, “Stabbing Bob”.  I guess she was trying to be a lil Tarintino. Why did I think they were watching the documentary? Ha, at the end, Paul’s sister asks the family if they want to go out for pie. Yesss, the pie scene!

I did remember this from the pilot episode where Jamie kisses Paul on their first date when he turns to her. Jamie asks “buy me some pie?”, not Paul! I swore for 20 years I heard Paul Reiser tearfully saying, “I would like some pie” in my head!

Oh, one plot point that did get patched up was that Paul & Jamie asked the guy from city hall to come over and marry them in their apartment six seconds to midnight.

RIP, Murray the dog.

UGH, I was right about the long montage of the end that is just pretend home movies of the cast. It’s nearly four minutes long, and its set to country music. It’s hell.  I remember actually leaving the room during this part 20 years ago instead of just you know, muting the TV. It completely ruins the quietness of the episode. It’s total filler.

The ending credits are on Youtube, it’s adult Mabel giving a rundown of what happened to who.

Related:

More from the series finale series: https://saleintothe90s.tumblr.com/search/Series%20finale%20series

/edit/

I was curious and went hunting around in google groups (which houses newsgroup archives) to see what people said about it online right after it aired: 

Someone wondered too about where on earth Mabel slept until they expanded the apartment: 

>2)  Where did Mabel sleep before they got the second apartment and >turned it into a room? Shared with mommy and daddy?? Or maybe that little space before the bedroom.  Did they convert the appartments into one or move to the other side? I was a bit confused about that.

>>I wish I had watched Ally (but that's just my

>opinion).<<

Trust me, if you've watched the show at all this season, you've seen this episode.  Ally is depressed about no man, elaine whips out the video camera, the biscuit bobs his head to Barry White, does a gymnastic dismount from the toilet stall, stutters like Porky Pig, and all of the same fucking things he does every single fucking episode.  I really liked this show at first, but I'm about to give up on it because the same shit happens week after week after week.  If David Kelley cannot think of anything new to do with this show, he should hire a writing team, because it it going nowhere fast!

Brian

To know that Paul and Jamie's genes resulted in that shrewish frump Janeane Garofalo was one thing.  But to be "previewed" twenty years of their misery resulting in Mabel's therapy for bad parenting was pretty unbearable.

Crap.  Not quite as crap as the Rosanne finale, but more crap than the last

Seinfeld episode. I knew they were in trouble in the very first scene where

they set up the premise for the episode. Lyle Lovett tells them that he

wasn't really an ordained minister when he performed their wedding ceremony

and that he was drunk when he said he was. (now there's an original plot)

One problem: Lyle isn't the one who told them he was a minister and everyone

was sober at the time.

Then they have Jannene Garofolo as their grown up daughter, recounting everything thing that went wrong in their marriage, another lame plot device.

There're also a few little slips, like Paul buying a double baby carriage in 2005, when their daughter would be 8 or so.

But, to get to the root of why the episode (and the last two seasons for that matter) failed: The whole permise of the show was that these two likable, but occasionally goofy or even stupid, people were so much in love that they would always be together no matter what. Corny, naive, romantic, but also endearing. It made for a nice, comforting 4 seasons or so, but after a while the formula gets old. So they started making the characters a lot less likeable. Paul Reiser turned into Homer Simpson and Helen Hunt became a neurotic version of Lucy Ricardo, until I had no idea why these two people were staying together.

They got back to the original idea of the series in the last ten minutes, but it was too little, too late. In the previous 50 minutes, their whole marriage went to hell. Not only didn't those two people belong together, they didn't even seem to care about each other. They did something similar a few years back (marriage goes wrong, they still love each other and stay together) but it was convincing and they didn't do the gimmicky jumping back and forth over 25 years thing. That was the perfect moment to end the series.

I agree. I watched with the series finale of MAY with the morbid fascination that I would have while watching a car wreck.  I didn’t *want* to do it, but I was drawn to it.  And what a car wreck it was.

The plot of the finale should have insulted every thinking person.  Did anyone accept the premise that two sophisticated New Yorkers could believe they were legally married without having a marriage license and certificate?  For those of you who have never been married, you absolutely need such documentation for your bank accounts, health insurance, social security, credit cards, mortgages etc.   The retroactive vitiation of the Buchman’s marriage is akin to the Bobby’s dream sequence on Dallas a few years ago.

Jaime’s jilting of Paul at the “altar” was vapid.  Tim Conway’s gag in being both the marriage clerk and the justice of the peace was predictable, and as predictably stupid as Conway’s similar gags on the now ancient Carol Burnett show.  The pronunciation of “Buchman” to explain why Paul and Jaime had the same last name may have been amusing to a ten year old, but I doubt it was funny to anyone more mature.  A justice of the peace would not play the wedding march with a dime store cassette recorder while demanding that a prospective bride walk down the courtroom “aisle.”  Couldn’t they have done something interesting with the marriage witness instead of using a stock character such as the disinterested, magazine-reading rice-thrower?  From a legal standpoint, Paul and Jaime’s marriage at midnight was as ineffective as “first” marriage because there was no witness (contrary to the dialogue, a baby simply cannot be a legal witness to a marriage).  Why would a justice of the peace make a house call to perform a civil marriage?

The whole vasectomy gag was asinine.  Have either HH or PR been in a hosptial?  Did they do *any* research before they wrote this gag?  Its pretty safe to conclude that a surgical nurse would *not* lead a post- operative vasectomy patient through a waiting room while he was wearing nothing but a robe.  Moreover, given Paul’s obvious pain from the first vasectomy, don’t you think that Jaime would have known that Paul did not go through with the second one?  Wouldn’t Jaime have asked Paul if he went through with the vasectomy before she purchased and used a pregnancy test kit?  Jaime’s miscarriage was telegraphed from the beginning of the vasectomy gag.

The makeup aging of the characters was amateurish at best.  The sex talk difficulty with Mabel has been done by every sitcom since Leave It To Beaver, and most have done it better.  What was the point of the puppy urination scene?

The breakup and reconciliation was sentimental tripe.  In the real world, people that fight as much as Paul and Jaime do not get divorced and then, with one magic kiss, make everything OK.

Was it necessary to introduce a new character in the finale to narrate the Buchmans’ life story? (As an aside, I hated the casting of Janeane Garofolo (sp?).  She looked like complete crap.  Can’t that woman ever look presentable?  Someone should have given her a mirror and a comb before they began filming the episode.  She is a second rate Roseanne knock off, and, judging from last night’s appearance, she is now attempting to catch Roseanne in the weight department as well.)

The closing montage attempted to simulate a home movie circa 1960s such as that used in the Wonder Years.  But why would Paul and Jaime, a 1990s couple, have used such a medium for their home movies?  Also, even assuming the choice of medium was justified, why did they wave in quick, jerky movements at the movie camera?  Has anyone done that since the 1960s?

In the end analysis, the MAY finale was incredibly lame.  I got home in time to catch the end of the Melrose Place finale, and, IMO, even that show -- as bad as it is -- has more entertainment value than MAY.  At least they don’t take themselves seriously.  I am delighted that MAY is now over.  I hope that the poor ratings associated with the show will cause some retooling at NBC, especially in its high profile slots.

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[writingdotcoffee]

#50: A novel in the making

Welcome to another Writing Update—a weekly journal where I document the ups and downs of my writing life. It’s been almost a year since I started writing my current work-in-progress novel. It seems appropriate to dedicate the 50th post in this series to the story and what I’ve learned in the process.

A little more than a year ago, an idea for a fast-paced scene with an ensemble cast started floating in my head. I was flirting with another project at the time, and so I didn’t pay too much attention to it. Every time I dismissed it, the idea came back to nag a little more. I wasn’t entirely convinced that I was ready to start writing the other project I was researching, and so I finally conceded: I would write a fast-paced 20,000-word novella to clear my mind.

I started outlining, fleshing out the details. The scene in my mind was quite climactic, and, to write it, I felt like I needed to understand where these people came from and why they were doing it. A few weeks of work later, I had a story that didn’t only satisfy my curiosity. This is more than enough for a novel, I thought.

I was excited, but facing a dilemma: should I abandon the previous project to work on this expanded novella outline that I  just stitched together? I wanted to write something with a speculative element to it which didn’t fit into this new project. After some deliberation, I decided to go for it.

I started writing the next day—15 August 2017.

The First Draft

The first days were a bit erratic as I was finding my stride. At around chapter three, I got into a routine and spent the next four months grinding one chapter after the other, writing to a goal of 6,000 words per week.

Now, I’m by no means a fast writer. The strenuous schedule took its toll, and by November, I was not only behind, but also exhausted. For the first time in years, I stopped posting on this blog just so that I could focus entirely on the draft.

Fortunately, I took V.E. Schwab’s advice and wrote the beginning first, then jumped to the ending, leaving the middle to be filled in last. I liked the ending way too much to have the heart to abandon the project. So I doubled down and typed the last words on a murky Saturday afternoon a month later — 16 December 2017. 51 chapters, 95,000 words.

Lessons learned: Word goals are essential. Pushing yourself through the first draft does work (subject to health & safety, of course).

The Winter Crisis

I listened to Stephen King’s famous recuperation advice and put the damn thing away for six weeks before editing. I celebrated Christmas by writing a few random short stories and spent January recovering. But then February came along, and I wasn’t feeling like going back to the project. Even just reading it was torture. I just didn’t want to. Resistance was having the better of me.

It took me a full month to read the thing cover to cover. In the end, I produced about 35 pages of mostly sarcastic notes of what was wrong with it. In retrospect, it would’ve been easier to make notes of what I liked instead. Characters disappeared, there were plot holes. Most chapters suffered from the lack of proper structure. But it wasn’t all just epic fails. I liked the character dynamics at the beginning and the big climactic scene at the end. It had potential.

Lesson learned: next time, I won’t wait that long before editing.

With that information, I bought a stack of index cards and re-outlined the project. My fear that I would end up scrapping the whole thing proved unfounded. I dropped 4 chapters and added 6 new ones. Out of 51, that wasn’t so catastrophic after all.

I compiled character sheets for every significant character, wrote the new chapters and was ready for the next step.

Lessons learned: Having an outline doesn’t mean that you can’t change a thing later on. Conversely, you can happily start writing even if you don’t have every single detail figured out up front. Everyone has a sweet spot between freewheeling and total control. You’ll find yours through experience.

The Rewrite

In May, I went all the way back to chapter one and started a sequential rewrite. I keep two documents open, and I’m restructuring each chapter to make it more engaging. Some chapters are good as they are, others need a major facelift. I look at things like tension and pacing. I’m doing much more characterisation.

At the time of writing, I’m about 60% done. All I can say is that this has been the most difficult and yet the most exhilarating part of the process so far. It’s hard to describe, but the writing is literally coming alive.

I know it won’t be the final editing pass yet. There are still things to fix. But they’re getting smaller and smaller.

Lesson learned: It will take much longer than you think. And that’s ok.

The Future

If you asked me a year ago whether I thought that I would be working on the same book today, I’d probably laugh and say something evasive. In my mind though, I’d think that you’re insane. A year on the same project? Don’t be silly.

When you’re in the trenches, doing the work every day, it seems inconceivable that a year later, you could find yourself at the very same desk and not be done. Some authors take 10 years to write each of their books. But every time you read a story like that you’re thinking, God, I hope that won’t be me.

Well, now I’m the silly one. But I don’t regret a minute that I spent working on this project. It taught me so much not only about writing and storytelling. Finally, after almost a year, I’m convinced that this was the book that I was supposed to write.

A day will come when I will finish this novel. I cannot wait to share it with you and the world.

Short Stories

I wrote a part of the sequel to The Dead Borough this week, but I didn’t have the time to finish it. It’s coming next week! Until then, check out part one:

SHORT STORY: The Dead Borough

I’m trying to set up the second in the series in a way that you can read it even if you haven’t read part one, but it will definitely be more enjoyable if you did.

Alternatively, here’s the one I published last week:

SHORT STORY: Beautiful Cadavers

What I am reading

I’m almost done with David Grann’s The Lost City of Z—a brilliant account of the life of a British explorer who disappeared without the trace in the Amazon while looking for evidence of an ancient civilisation that he believed could’ve developed in the depths of the jungle.

A masterfully told story. David Grann is a staff writer for The New Yorker who clearly spent decades honing his craft. Thumbs up!

Next, I’ll be picking up Charles Arthur’s Cyber Wars which I bought a few weeks ago in Cambridge.

Subscribe to my list

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Past Editions

#49: A novel in the making, August 2018

#48: Plodding Along, July 2018

#47: The only way out is through, July 2018

#46: Deliberate practice, July 2018

#45: Us and them, July 2018

[merlinzedane]

Ducktales Fanfic#

:Deep Scares:

*Warning angst and little mentions of blood*

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Part 1

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Huey had lost his scens of time mabye an hour after he fell... he really- really did not know how long he had been trappet under the big rocks that followed him down, its just was one second he was throwing sharp rocks at the big scaled monster that was holding his white as snow in the head uncle Donald over its sharp big mouth.... when then it got very irritated with Huey's rock throwing, and under a few seconds, it had thrown his uncle over its shoulder and was giving Huey the dead glare while crawling towards him, “HUEY WHAT IN DESMON'S ARE YOU DOING! YOUR JUST MAKING IT MORE AN-“

Huey remember that thats all he got to hear from his great uncle before the monster grabbed at him, but lucky...and unlucky for him, Hueys fast reflexes got him just out of the way of its deadly grip.

But he then remembered the burning pain that began on his stomach and he couldn’t hear anything but his painful scream as he feel down.

Huey got out of his flashback with a gasp for air and a now awaken pain on his stomach.

He doesn’t even wanna look at it in fear of he might puke at the sight, but instead he graps his hands around his head as his headache worsens.

He looks around and begins too think quickly for a way too get out from under the big rocks “I’m not a woodchuck for nothing” he thought to himself, the little duckling looks around in search of his little red book, but with no wail "whe-AH! " Huey thought as a streak of pain caught him of guard, and he grips a arm around his still bleeding stomach it’s getting worse and now the 13 year old duck has too think faster!

Then he hears it... tiny rocks falling around his little prison, Huey takes his other hand that was still holding his head and holds it against his mouth, "maybe its uncle Donald..but its a big chance it's that...monster! again" the scared kid thought, he wasn’t gonna take the chances with his life..again...

So he waits until he hears someone yelling,

"Huey! EH LAD! WHERE ARE YOU!"

He could here his great uncle right outside his little cave.

Huey’s tears that he didn’t know was there begins too flow faster down his cheeks as he opens his mouth too call out from his uncle...

Huey can feel the last colors drain from his face and eyes...his voice

“Oh...no...”

Something is wrong with his voice.

But Huey puts the thought back in his head, when he hears a desperate voice call out again.

“Please lad...say something..” Scrooge says in a almost whisper as he takes a long look around the now boulder filled ravine that he had be climbing around in in almost half a hour now.. with a deep sigh.

Back in the rock prison Huey is trying too find another way too signal his Uncle, and at last he spots a small hole between the rocks where some lights shines through, and he begins too drag himself over too the hole, while he try’s too ignore the protests his body is making in the process with the dark spots thats beginning to block his vision, but at last he gets over too the rock wall.

He can just see through the hole between the rocks, a few feets away he can see his uncle Scrooge now sitting on a boulder with his face in his hands.

"I ead not gonna lose one of ma last family members now..." its a faint whisper from where Huey is.

Huey begins felling the guilt clawing its way through him,

"oh it's my fault.... if i hadn't been so heroic up there!....hi-his scared for me.."

Huey try's to use his voice again...but he gets nothing but a low whine out of it, and he begins to get frustrated by it and glares down on the floor instead.

But thats when he ses it, a little red gem...

Wait a second thats one of the gems from the treasure room his uncle said too hold on too when the monster began chasing them “BINGO!”

Huey takes the gem and throws it out of the hole wildly.

"Come on! Use you treasure instinct uncle scrooges!" Huey thinks with a weak smile on his face.

The gem makes a couple of little jumps as it makes it out the other side of the hole, and it lands right in front of his guilty money loving uncle.

Scroogs looks with shocking eyes down on the no longer jumping gemstone.

And in a split of a second and you can almost hear his neck making a snapping sound as he to fast for his age looks right up at the hole in the rocks the gemstone came from.

“Huey..is the ya lad?”

As Huey again try’s too use his voice he instead gets into a painful coughing spread that makes a echo.

And soon after he hears his uncle running in his direction, and soon he can feel a warm and gentle hand take his very colder one he had placed near the small hole.

"Don't worry ima getting ya right out of there, just hold still Hubert" it's almost a whisper for Huey has he hears his uncles words.

And soon there’s made a must bigger holed for him to get out of.

Huey feels two hands gently taking there place under his arms and he gets slowly dragged out into the fresh cave air, Huey gets placed with his back agains the rock his uncle before had been sitting on and feels one of the old duck’s hands on his head and with that movement Huey knew he had lost his beloved red cap.

But his thoughts is cut short when another painful cough is finding its way out of his mouth "oh god it hurts so much!" He thinks as he makes a louder wining sound short after.

And then he fell it crawling out his mouth, his mouth tasted like iron and he begins too lean more against the rock as he begins too get tired.

He looks up at his uncle thats sitting in front of him, still with his hand on Huey’s head.

The now more pail face of his uncle makes Huey's scary theory all too right as he can fell small streams of blood making it down his chin, and on too the floor of the cave.

But Huey can now really hear something his ears hadn’t caught before,

maybe it was because of his shock and some of the pain, Huey wasn’t sure as he tried too find out what the sound is, while trying too stay awake.

"Wait....is-is that uncle Donald?!"

Huey could here it clear now.

“Louie get back here!!! Its too dangerous for you on that side of the rocks!!!” Donald yells in his strange voice.

Huey can hear footsteps getting louder from behind the rock his sitting at, and he can see on the scared face expression of Scrooge

That it was indeed his youngest brother that’s running towards them.

“Uncle Scrooge I heard you talk too someone! D-did you find him?!” Louie said in a shaken voice as he stops a little bit away from the rock where Scrooge and Huey was.

“Lad..” Scrooge begins in a sad but determined voice, and Huey can feel another round of coughs coming up his throat...

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Hey everyone this is the end of part one of this story i been think about for months now...

buuut i been too much of a coward too try writing it and publish it...and thats mostly because I didn’t have too much faith in my own English writing...again im just a crazy Dane from Denmark 😅

But i did make and posted another fanfic on Wattpad last year and somehow it got some attention, and i even got a really nice comment! Even if I never finish it xD but this story is like a re-writen of that story.

And after months of telling myself that i am a okay writer I was finally brave enough too do it!!!

And ill try too write more of this story if i get enough feedback 😅

Sorry but im not going too continue something no one cares about thats why i need feedback if people like it😊😊😊

Cya im going too begin next chapter soon 😘 maybe 🤣

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