#the worms were the coolest part
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You’re all so starved over external conflict and decent media that the second something pops up that’s a little fun you’re all losing your mind even if it’s a total let down
#late night with the devil#two takes in the tag it’s either the scariest movie y watched and it was incredible#or abou the ai#but no wine wants to talk about how the pacing flopped during the climax#or that they threw so many things at the wall and didn’t even choose something to finish it#the last scene was so haunting#really??? it was so predictable and also cheap#they started with a documentary narration and then ??? JUST IGNORED IT#NO FINISH UP#so lame#I don’t need to be force fed#but u starve me of an ending#also why ruin the practical effects with those lame laser show T the end#Likeeeeee#the electricity was fucking stupid#the worms were the coolest part
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Hey! I hope you don't mind the message - I just wanted to say, your tags made me cry. I'm so happy that our makin silly lil creatures over here could mean something to you all these years later. You absolutely can do what you want, and make a living at it, and more people need to hear that. Everyone in our lives told us we couldn't - we were just too stubborn to listen. I sincerely thank you, I'm going to look at these tags anytime I feel discouraged, and I hope we can make you a monster one day. <3
OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I didn't see this originally and finally checked my inbox and saw this.
Now I'm feeling teary eyed ... I genuinely think it was artists like you both, Melissa Curphy (@missmonstermel), and Allison Theus (@crispyfishsticks) who showed me at a young age you CAN make awesome monsters and be wonderfully successful and HAPPY doing so.
I'm not joking at all when I say I found your DeviantArt over 10 years ago and it stuck with me ever since. I've kept up with Homemade Horrors since then on multiple platforms. It was always a dream of mine to have a custom monster made by you both, and now that I have an actual career position (transgender healthcare, which still doesn't feel real! That this is happening and it's Real!!) I may be able to afford that someday. ❤️
For reference this is the post and tags and if you like the looks of this gorgeous creature you should DEFINITELY give them a follow!!!!! Homemade Horrors are AMAZING and everything Worms and Bones make together is always so full of love and creativity.
#so emotional rn#there are artists ive kept up with for... oh man#yeah holy shit 11-13 years ago now#from back in middle school if not earlier than that since i think i found other artists#before then in 5-6th grade#so somewhere between 11-16 years!!#theyre like. part of my normal internet/art world exposure#and knowing theyre Real people and watching life improve and art grow and change and them become more well known and successful#(in any definition of the word)#well thats just the coolest thing ever!! c:#worms n bones in particular were and ARE so important to who i am as an artist and a person#i think theyre one of the first times i EVER saw anyone go by they/them and it was a very Huh... thats neat! moment#AND NOW LOOK AT ME...#top surgery was last Tuesday (its now Sunday!) and im 2 weeks into a career in transgender healthcare#been going as Fisher for a year now#my job ONLY calls me Fisher (Chosen Lastname) and its just. amazing#being unashamed of who you are and doing what you want to do. thats so freeing. and seeing happy successful adults doing awesome things#from a young age REALLY makes a difference ��️
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Bestiaryposting Results: Lumchagg
Another one that's immediately recognizable if you spot its most-known characteristic, but I had to keep this one in because I thought it was entertaining that the author was clearly working from two different sources and, rather than try and reconcile the two, apparently just copied two slightly-different accounts and left them like that.
If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you can find an explanation and previous posts at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. The entry that people are working from this time can be found here:
And here's the one that folks will be drawing this week, if you want to get in on it:
Anyway, art below the cut:
@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) noted the apparent existence of a larval stage in the second half of the entry, and drew a creature that's part Australian firehawk and part moth. I think this design is extremely cool, and does a good job extrapolating from the ideas of a bird that makes its own funeral pyre and apparently starts life as a larva.
@sweetlyfez (link to post here) went kind of a flamingo direction with this one, noting that a purple bird might acquire that coloration from its diet the same way flamingos do, which is cool. I also like the idea that its pyre/container is a silver censer, which is oddly accurate to medieval depictions -- I've definitely seen a couple of medieval images of this bird where its "nest" looks a lot like a fancy bowl. (Also thank you for including alt text.)
@kaerran (link to post here) makes note of a bit of a camera quality issue, but has what I think is a really clever idea. They've chosen to make their Lumchagg quite small, so that their "container" could in fact be the contents of a spice rack. A convenient solution for the modern Lumchagg with a high tolerance for plastic fumes. (Also thank you for including alt text.)
@ectocs (link to post here) has plotted out the lifecycle of a bird-thing that genuinely looks more like a dinosaur than anything, which I like a lot. That is a cool-looking bird. I also like the facial expressions a lot -- maybe it's just my imagination, but that blobby little worm stage seems quite pleased with itself. I strongly recommend clicking on the linked post to see a number of additional doodles and notes from the design process, which are very interesting in my opinion.
@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done this drawing in a nice dark purple ink, which is both pleasant and appropriate. The bird looks very cool, and I find the worm quite charming. I also appreciate the detail put into the pyre/nest/whatever here. It's good. I like it.
@pomrania (link to post here) notes that the medieval definition of "bird" is quite flexible, and of course worm and wyrm were more or less interchangeable... so this is a dragon. Entirely fair, I can't argue with that. It's pretty cute, too.
@coolest-capybara (link to post here) also gives us a life-cycle drawing, complete with a pupa, which I think is a nice and appropriate touch. They note the ambiguity of the term purple in pre-modern sources, so their Lumchagg has a more general colorful & iridescent look. I really like the parrot-worm-thing in the middle of the tree there.
To the Aberdeen Bestiary:
Yep, that's a bird. Presumably the trees are meant to represent frankincense and myrrh, both of which I believe are made from tree resin. Very good Stylized Trees, naturally. The bird, which kind of just looks like a hawk, also seems to be resting on an invisible perch, presumably because the artist wasn't sure what to do with the legs of a bird in flight.
There's also a second illustration:
That absolutely does not help identification, but I think a majority of participants clocked that this is the phoenix.
A few people noted that they hadn't known that phoenices (phoenixes? you know what, it doesn't matter, there's only one of them at a time anyway) were supposed to be purple. Others commented on the odd note about Arabia and the color purple, speculating as to what purple pigment was being referred to. I am excited to tell you that these two things are linked: the famous Tyrian Purple dye was originally used by... [drum roll]... the Phoenicians.
I actually had to delete a word from the entry before posting, because the original reads:
The phoenix is a bird of Arabia, so called either because its colouring is Phoenician purple, or because there is only one of its kind in the whole world.
The other part of the etymological explanation there is later explained by the assertion (the basis of which I do not know) :
The Arabs call a solitary man phoenix.
Also to be clear, there's not exactly a broad pre-modern consensus about phoenix coloration. Everyone seems to agree that it's brightly colored, but what colors vary widely. (However, it should be noted that "red" and "purple" are both popular options, and moreover that those colors are not always differentiated in older texts.)
It's tempting to say that the frankincense & myrrh is here probably just acting as a Christian resurrection metaphor because the authors are monks, but it is in fact the case that multiple medieval descriptions of the phoenix have it making use of valuable plants, including those. In the Old English Wonders of the East, it builds its nest from cinnamon. Herodotus (who says the phoenix is red and gold) mentions the phoenix using myrrh, but not as a nest or funeral pyre -- each new phoenix embalms the body of the previous phoenix in myrrh to be interred at the Temple of the Sun. Pliny (purple and gold, with a blue tail) has the nest made from cinnamon, incense, and perfumes, and when the little worm grows large enough it carries the nest, along with the remains of its predecessor, to said temple. Neither Herodotus nor Pliny mention the fire thing, interestingly, so I suspect it might have come in later. The Wonders of the East does mention the fire, but it has no opinion on the coloration.
I can feel myself falling into a rabbit hole, so I'm just going to cut this one off here.
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So on balance I generally do enjoy Mark Millar, and a big part of why I enjoy Mark Millar is that a lot of his superhero stuff demonstrates the same awareness about the genre that Worm does- the sense of an unstable equilibrium, that the center cannot hold in the superhero universe as typically presented. Jupiter's Legacy, Super Crooks, Old Man Logan, Wanted, The Ultimates. Arguably Civil War. I have a whole other post buried in my drafts about how that bleak throughline keeps cropping up in his cape work. Specifically in his cape work, also- the man has written a lot of lighthearted, at times almost cloyingly sincere and optimistic one-off miniseries in other genres. Starlight: The Return Of Duke McQueen, Huck, Chrononauts, Beyond. In tension with this cynicism about the capes is the fact that he also clearly believes that superheroes are really cool, and on some fundamental level a really deeply noble and empowering idea. Even Wanted, which is probably the most thoroughly tasteless thing of his that I've read all the way through, I recall as having had this interesting subtext of anger over the fact that there's an audience for a superhero work as cynical and grotesque as Wanted. ("Fine. We took all the whimsy and wonder and derring-do you claim to have outgrown out back and shot it. The corpse is cooling. Are you happy yet? Dark enough yet? Mature enough yet? This is what you wanted right?") Anyway, I think Kick-Ass the comic suffers gigantically from a failure to break in one direction or another, in regard to that tension. It gets very, very close to saying useful and interesting things about the genre at several points but keeps undercutting itself by transforming back into the object of its own attack. There's this initial line of questioning, right, which is, "what kind of person, in real life, might actually try this? How would it go?" And the comic has some compellingly miserable answers to that question! Everyone in costume is chasing the same power fantasy, clinging to the idea of being somebody. Dave is, in his own words, motivated by "the right combination of loneliness and despair," and he's not competent. He alternates between minor wins and brutal hospitalizations, the first two issues and change is just the world punishing him for being dumb enough to try this, and for the most part he's a LARPer, a self-identified asshole. Red Mist is a rich kid playing with his father's money. Big Daddy and Hit-girl are framed as the "real deal", genuinely competent in their ability to dish out violence, and the comic to some extent has the self-awareness to recognize that people who were actually any good at this would be even more horrifying than the LARPers. The Reveal that Big Daddy was an accountant- that he made up a tragic backstory and made his daughter a human weapon in order to pursue an escapist fantasy- genuinely lands like a meteor! But it fucks it up, because it also needs to be cool, cool enough to keep our attention, and so it pulls an about face. The horror of Hit-girl gets subsumed by the realization that she's also the coolest thing in the whole book, almost loadbearing in terms of having actually cool and interesting things happen on-panel, and so the end of the book turns into the exact kind of superviolent revenge story it was initially skewering as unrealistic and disconnected from the much more grounded grief and loss Dave is experiencing at the start of the book. Dave's costumed escapades goes from being an obviously stupid and egotistical attempt to claw back control of his life to... an actual method by which he claws back control of his life, and not in a way that feels terribly well-earned!
The sequels double down on this- alternating between "in real life this would be cheap and stupid and tinged with anticlimax" and "woooo! Let's ape Tarantino until something cool happens!" and honestly, that feels less worthy of analysis because what I'm pretty sure happened there is that the movie blew up and created A Demand For More Kick-Ass. In general what it feels like fundamentally happened here is that you ask, "what if superheroes were real," you land on the answer of "they'd look stupid, be stupid and die badly," but what does that leave you with? It's not like that wasn't the obvious answer already and it's definitely not eight issues of material. He can't pull the trigger on having everyone involved die badly in meanspirited ways to drive the point home, and he never quite threads the needle back to the reconstructive middle ground he badly wants the book to inhabit, the "real heroes work in soup kitchens and look out for their neighbors" area. Things just happen.
That said, the gag about the astroturfed swear-word "Tunk" is fantastic. 10/10, no notes
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Hello you said you wanted to yap or listen to yap about marauders stuff again so riddle me this Batman, how good do you personally think Barty was at his beginning? Like the coolest part of his character to me is that he used to be such a good kid that even his father didn’t suspect he’d ever turn. So like, how ‘good’ was that? How quickly did he turn? Did it take years? Was it a true reconstruction of his pysche? Or was he always this boy and just trying to hide it, letting his true self out in all the darkest ways whilst knowing it’s exactly what would be his fall from grace? Did he just not care? Did he learn not to care?
The coolest thing about Barty Crouch Jr to me at least is that to everyone else in canon he was probably an example of ‘even a worm will turn’ while to himself, to anyone who truly knew him, it was always inevitable. Just wondering what your thoughts were since his fanon character is just kind of always ‘like that.’ :)
Oooo good question, I feel like as a kid barty was always pretty shy and kept to himself, I love him having a great relationship with his mum too so he’s stuck to her side 24/7, and his dad isn’t really there because he’s always working but barty is a smart ass kid, he probably got moved up a year in primary school and so he stuck out like a sore thumb but he just did his work to the best of his ability, and in canon I feel like people actually got to see the barty that’s really in there, he’s a little weirdo in his head and has never felt safe enough to talk about how much he loves fire and tricking people and just being a little weirdo, he loves snakes and bugs and rats when people run from them and he likes creeping people out, and I feel like it got worse when he met reg because regulus is a member of the weirdest family there is, he’s a goth freak with a cocky older brother and barty is like ‘nah you’re cooler than him man’ and then they meet the rosier twins and they’re also freaks and it’s a match made in heaven for them all
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Fluffvember 5. Apple picking / "oh my gosh you do not know how to cook"
--- --- ---
"We're going to have to deal with that tree soon." Blue mentioned, his words blowing the steam from his tea. He gestured to their backyard, the apple tree overwhelmed by it's own fruit. "the squirrels are starting to get drunk off the fallen ones, those have got to go too," Vio mentioned. Red perked up. "apple pie time?" he asked, excited. "we'll have to see how many are actually still good. Provided there isn't another worm-pocalypse, then yeah." Blue said, remembering the dozen worms that invaded the barrels of apples from last year when they neglected picking. Green left the room temporarily, coming back with a few lacrosse sticks and a hockey stick. "ready." --- Green was a menace to his brother, having been practicing his passes in both sports with the rotten apples, hurtling them at the back of his brother. Red opted to be on the ground rather than try his luck with gravity flying apple carnage on a ladder being a bag holder for Shadow and Vio as the picked from high in the tree where Red couldn't get to. Blue had decided to retaliate against his brother, managing to smush some of the apple chunks into Greens golden hair. Explicatives flew from both of them in the heat of battle, the other three just barely managing not to be caught in the crossfire.
Two hours, two buckets, and three shopping bags full of apples later, Green and Blue were being threatened with a garden hose while Vio and Red dragged the fruit inside. Red dashed excitedly to the basement, pulling oodles of frozen pie dough out of the deep freeze. Red came backup to Vio loading apples into... the bathtub? "we've gotta wash them somehow." Vio argued, "grab a towel." he said, kneeling beside the tub and reaching into the warm apple water, beginning to scrub at them with their produce brush.
The two made quick work of the apple cleaning, Shadow coming in halfway through to grab some towels for the soalked twins.
---
Three whole hours of prepping apples. Peeling, coring, chopping, and dicing. Not to mention measuring the obscene amounts of sugar, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg, and lemon juice. Apple filling was moved into the food-safe buckets, that Red had stolen from his work. Lids were put on tightly and moved to the coolest part of the basement, wherein Red turned his attention to the pie dough. Red prepared all the crusts, relishing in the wonder of working at a bakery for his access to 40 disposable pie tins. He stacked them one on top of the other in the fridge.
---
The next day, at 4am, he started. 15 minutes to preheat. 4 pies in the oven at a time, rotated once throughout the 80 minute cooking period. 40 pies in total. Red lived off of coffee and sugar, again and again, the kitchen and dining room a revolving door of pies in and out of the oven. 14 hours total. Between pies baking, red canned the rest of the filling. boiling jars, partially cooking the mix, killing any pathogens in his way.
---
Green came downstairs just as Blue and Shadow left to deliver the last batch of pies to an old age home down the street. The kitchen was in shambles, jars of pie filling covered the island, smears of said filling on the counter, the stove, the cupboards... ...and Red asleep against the dishwasher. Green smiled. Poor Red had finally crashed, his body finally petering out after having ran on almost nothing all day. "no time to eat, gotta get these in the oven." a stressed Red had argued.
Through his sleep, Red's stomach growled, his expression turning sour.
Green sighed, crouching down to pick Red up off the ground. Sure, Red was heavy, but nothing compared to Green's tolerance of having 5 kindergarteners dog pile on him all at once for a piggy-back. Green carried Red to the couch, leaning him up against some pillows and tucking a throw blanket over him. Green marched back to the kitchen, cleaning up a bit before donning Red's abandoned apron. He fished out a box from the pantry, grabbed one of the last remaining pots from the cupboard and got started on some mac and cheese. Now, Green will admit he got carried away, always competing with his twin, inspiration hit. He added ingredient after ingredient to the pot of instant mac'n'cheese.
Bacon, Mushrooms, Ham, Onions, Pickles, Black olives, Sun-dried tomato,
Green will also admit he should have stopped there. Quit while you're ahead. Leave the sprinkles out of there.
---
"wakey-wakey sleepyhead!" Green cheered, putting a bowl of his mac'n'cheese in Red's lap and handing him a spoon. Red smiled and stretched before being greeted with the abhorrent dish presented to him.
just then, Blue and Shadow came home again, Vio coming downstairs because what was that smell???
Red grimaced, being the first to take a brave bite of Green's concoction as Green dished out some to the rest of the house. Red felt the extreme urge to either gag or spit it out the second it touched his tongue. The brine from the pickles and olives having somehow managed to curdle the powdered cheese, the sprinkles and bacon and mushrooms making it slimy and crunchy and all around bad. Red fought everything in him to swallow. Green bounced on his toes. "how is it?" he asked. Red grimaced again, looking to Blue for help. Blue, however, had taken one sniff and said something before Red could formulate a lie. "Red, honey, you don't have to eat that." Blue said flatly. Red sighing in relief and putting the bowl down on the floor.
"What?" Green squawked. Shadow had also braved a bite, not getting very far before uttering a "Oh my gosh, you do not know how to cook," and struggling to swallow his meager bite of pasta. "I'll call the pizza place," Vio mumbled, already dialing it into his phone. "anyone want apple pie while we wait?" Red asked.
#the sr crew are those people in your math problems.#i put wayy to much math into this and for what#four swords manga#four swords#four swords adventures#shattered reflections au#four sword#legend of zelda#tloz#red link#vio link#green link#blue link#shadow link#sr green#sr blue#sr shadow#sr fiction#sr vio#sr red#fluffvember#fluffvember 2024
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Kamen Rider Gotchard?
Yeah it was good! I'd even be willing to argue it was great.
I'm willing to admit, I was among those skeptical of Junsei Motojima, but kid came home and nailed it. Hotaro's this infectious, silly little guy, much like the Chemies he's partnered with, but there's so much weight put behind all his emotions that it's hard not to be swept up in how he feels. The drama with his mom, the unwavering devotion he has to bringing humans and Chemies together, all these moments with him and the rest of the Alchemist Academy, it's all good stuff. Helps that both the Chemies and the human cast are all generally fun and likeable. ...I just wish they'd let the main cast vibe with the Chemies a little more.
Rinne! Banger character, I like her, her Rider forms are gorgeous, Reiyo Matsumoto's a great actress who deserves a shitton of awards, how'd they give her so little to work with? Okay, as far as Female Riders go I don't think she's as squandered as Yaiba, but I wish Rinne was cooked a little longer. Her idolization of her father, her desire to save Atropos, her relationship with Hotaro, all great points of her character to be sure, but I don't think they all came together perfectly. It's a legitimately neat twist to have Geryon create Atropos out of jealousy for what Fuga had, but I feel like that's a little more... incidental than anything? It's a great idea, but I don't think it was given enough foreshadowing for its (admittedly fantastic) reveal. I think Fuga's Rider Form should've been an alternate one for Majade, but we can't all get what we want I suppose. ...Majade should've had more forms in general, c'mooooon, these were bangers! Also, girl, talk to your Chemy pals! The Unicon longs for fun!
Spanner, of course, is his own can of worms. I think I said this somewhere in my recaps/live reactions, but I'd have thought he was the coolest fucking guy ever as a kid. A positive endorsement to be sure, but certainly not a credible one, no matter how sick Valvarad looks with and without Driver. Shout outs to Yasunari Fujibayashi though, that man's hella cool. ...but I feel like Spanner himself falls a little short. And not just in combat, as has been noted by many people on here~! His bizarre sexual tension with Lachesis is legitimately enthralling, I absolutely love all the stuff with Kyoka and how she believably brings out a nicer side of him, and he's a perfect foil for Hotaro on paper. His stubbornness and blame-deflecting are great character flaws, but they focus a little too hard on them when he's not with Kyoka or Lachesis. He isn't so much challenged on them as much as... he forgets these parts of him. I think him coming around in the end would have a lot more weight if he had more of a legit partnership with Madwheel/Machwheel, and by extension the other Vehicle/Occult Chemies. ...Chazz him up, if you catch my meaning. His final form looks awesome though, I'll give him that. ...wish he got to use UFOFighter Custom at some point if they were gonna make him a Rider, but I won't complain about that.
Renge and Sabimaru, absolutely love those fuckers! Good senpais, 10/10, they're legitimately fun characters for Hotaro and Rinne to bounce off of, I love the way they interact with their families and care so much about the Chemies! Kajiki too, what a legend that man is, more Riders should have ordinary besties. And Minato! Teacher man! He's cool! He's reasonable even early on! He's super handsome! He stands on his own without being a Rider! The way he grows more protective over his students is so sweet! His little nursery rhyme dance with X Wizard lives rent free in my head!
I'll be honest though, the real stars of the show in the second half were the Dark SIsters. What starts out as this great group of villains giving form to a lot of legitimately disturbing malice becomes a surprisingly sober story of three girls stuck in the service of their abusive father struggling to break free of that cycle with the help of people they rejected, even if it wasn't a best case scenario for any of them. A very well-crafted tragedy as far as I'm concerned. I love the implication in the credits that Rinne and Spanner are still working hard to bring them back. Fantastic characters on their own too, of course. And uh... ahem Not to be crude, but it helps that both Kanon Miyahara and Alisa Sakamaki are stone cold foxes.
Clotho early on fills her "ultra violent brute" niche super well, every time she throws down is a highlight. She becomes a lot more interesting as she puts more emphasis on her family though, she's so desperate to keep them all together, even as it becomes apparent how self destructive this behavior is. Her singling out Hotaro as her enemy is fun, but I wish they did a little more with that, even if I did love what they had already. I loved the way she reluctantly teams up with him in the Episode 32 against the Kasshines... only to bluntly shut down his friendly handshake by kicking him, that was great. Still, I'll miss her, Kanon Miyahara's so damn cool.
Lachesis, of course, is also a banger character. She's fun, I love her arc of developing her humanity, I love her sass. Not an easy feat to make somebody as sadistic as she was develop into a nicer person in a way that feels legitimate, but goddamn. The way she completely sons Spanner's record as original Valvarad is just delightful too. As I said earlier her dynamic with Spanner's great, but I think the way she bounces off Kyoka's just as, if not better, which... Yeah, I can see the vibes.
But holy shit, Atropos. This goddamn nine-year old's just out here giving a borderline Shakespearean performance of a merciless leader secretly desperate for legitimate affection and friendship, her cold-blooded condescension conflicting with how she really feels about Rinne.
Geryon's such a banger villain too. Fantastic, I'd probably be willing to argue. Just this tremendously petty sack of shit who earns his victories and how menacingly he's depicted through his cruel methods while still having a fantastic enough Kenta Kamakari performance to make his stupid "coat the world in gold" plan work perfectly together with how much of an evil scumbag "father" he is. ...I don't know why he needed to be a homunculus created by the Dark Kings, that uh... doesn't really go anywhere.
Even bit players like Riku, Mr. Asahi, Yua, the Manabes, they all have adorable little one off arcs that make the Chemies feel like more than just this season's gimmick. ...the same can't be said for the Union of Alchemists, who're just kinda... there. I like what they did with Kugimiya in the Geats crossover movie, I think Harima and Boruto were fun one off Malgams, and Minato's conflict of going against their regulations is neat, but... idk, I don't really feel them as antagonists and I guess the writers feel the same since they just kinda stop mattering later on. I think Hotaro's normal school life's also kinda superfluous, but oh well.
Now for the real controversial question, do I think Legend's good? ...yeah, I like Kaguya a lot, I hope he sticks around, he's funny. The Legend Arc in the main series was a fun little distraction, I can understand why some wouldn't like it but... nah man, you just hate fun. /j
...not a whole lot else to say really! It's got problems weighing it down, but I just think it was a fun and delightful show. 8/10~! I think going a little harder'd make it an all-time banger. I love the Chemies so much, I'd say they deserve the world but Hotaro beat me to it.
Here's hoping Gavv keeps the vibes a rollin'!
#kamen rider#Pull Another Gotcha! 101 Dreams to Catch!#kamen rider gotchard#gotchard spoilers#kr gotchard
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Duncan HCS without Romance for FUCKING ONCE IN HIS GODDAMN LIFETIME. Part 3
He bites hand that do feed him. He bites you when you try to feed him without consent, you touch his hair, and was a kicker along with fighter at the doctor's office as a child now tends to run away from the nurses in the hospital because he doesn't trust the system he was born in!
He hates getting sick but doesn't let anyone baby him when he is sick because he is scared being take advantage of out his brothers pranking him while sick as child it happened a lot.
Duncan had Heelys growing up and coolest entrances ever as a baby he was born "cool" more like his older brothers taught him head bang give deuces as 1-year-old as a greeting!
As a toddler he wore his shorts as a hat and stole others boots to copy his parents coming from work!
Duncan would totally bite own hand off if you forced him to group session of therapy with his parents at 16 years old.
He calls all his parole officers Bob even if that's not their names, he thinks it's funny to him since he was 13 years old.
Duncan would do the worm as Courtney yelled at his parents for him if they did something fucked up to him when they were dating long ago. Courtney and him sometimes catch up now after going to therapy to have heart to heart about everything or just sit next to each other watch the sunset together. No anger, no hurt, just trying to understand in between is human nature and no longer drama of total drama. Sometimes Duncan picks her up throws her in the water at the beach as she pretends to die in the water when they hang out with Geoff, Bridgette, Brody, and Dj.
Gwen is Duncan's "best friend" (It's actually Dj and his so-called girl best friend is Eva) Duncan let's Gwen and Geoff fight it out for fun. Duncan sees Gwen and Geoff like siblings to him.
#total drama#courtney total drama#total drama ideas#td courtney#td duncan#total drama courtney#duncan total drama#tdwt gwen#total drama gwen#eva td#eva total drama#total drama eva#tdi eva#td eva#courtney td#tdi courtney#courtney tdi#duncan td#total drama duncan#dj total drama#total drama dj#tdi dj#dj tdi#dj td#td dj#bridgette total drama#total drama bridgette#brody total drama#brody td#td brody
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True story:
Back more decades than I care to count my folks uprooted the family from Minneapolis and moved us all to Northern Michigan. Talk about culture shock!
From city lights to country roads. From skyscrapers to outhouses. From a city of millions to a small town of less than 500.
I was about 8 or 9 so I didn't know anything or care that I didn't know anything.
Anyway, Mom and Dad and 13 kids set up shop in a dinky little town and, once the fights were out of the way (I don't know why, but all of the boys - and some of the girls - who were my friends in my childhood I had to fight first.) life was mostly bucolic and serene.
This was before cable TV and computers. My folks didn't even own a television set back then (televisions existed then - my folks just liked to torture us kids by not getting one). Despite the lack of electronics, I don't recall being bored. I do know that if I complained about having nothing to do, Mom was quick to find a chore from her infernal chore list to occupy my time. I was a fairly quick study when it came to avoiding work, and kept any periods of boredom to myself.
One summer morning, my younger brother and I decided we would see who could catch the most snakes. Don't ask why. The 'why' never occurred to us so you shouldn't bother with such trivialities either.
Catching snakes was easy. Especially the Garter Snakes and Copper Bellies that slithered around where we lived. You'd just wander around fields and lift any cover and - especially on hot days - like as not there would be a snake or two. A quick grab behind the head and into the sack.
They are not venomous and most of them wouldn't even bite. The bigger snakes could put a couple of puncture wounds in your hand, but I hardly noticed the bites.
At the end of the hunt my brother and I met up to compare the haul. Numbers escape me. Maybe he caught 15 and I had 12. It doesn't matter; we had close to 30 snakes and we couldn't just let them go. But what to do with them?
We were young and stupid but we knew enough to know bringing them in the house could result in very bad things happening. We could easily foresee heinie whackings or groundings or more chores if our mom found them or if they got away in the house.
We wracked our brains to find a solution when we had the brilliant idea to keep them in the worm box in the basement. Perfect.
An older brother had a less than thriving business picking and selling nightcrawlers to local fishermen and kept his product in a worm box in the cellar. He had lots of worms but few customers and mostly, I think, forgot he even had the business.
The worm box was huge; it was at least 6 feet long, 3 feet high, and 3 deep. Imagine a poorly made coffin. It was painted a light blue and sat in the back of the basement in the darkest, coolest spot. It was about half filled with dirt and worms.
While, technically, the basement was a part of the house, we reasonably reasoned as only young boys can; snakes can't climb and they certainly can't navigate stairs. What do they say about experience being the best instructor?
Satisfied with the solution, we dumped our catch in the box, closed the lid and went off to see whatever it was the evening had in store for us.
The next few days were a repeat. Wake up, chores, beat feet for the creek to cool off and then a snake hunt. A new friend, Skunk, joined us on one of the days.
By the time of the great snake escape, we probably had close to 100 snakes in the worm box. It was hard to judge because they would not stay still for a count, and - I can't speak for my brother - my ability to count decreased dramatically once I got past twenty. Twenty-one if I were naked.
It is disputed to this day how the snakes got out. I think somebody left the lid ajar, my brother asserts they just found a hole. It doesn't matter now, and it didn't matter then. The only thing that mattered is that a mob of snakes made a break for it.
If the snakes had done the logical thing and gone out the door leading outside there would have been no problem. But, no. They went in every possible direction and we learned that, yes, snakes can climb stairs.
I was reading a book in our room. Tom Sawyer, maybe, or Moby Dick, perhaps? Regardless of what I was reading, I was yanked from the plot by a sister's screams coming from the kitchen.
A sister's screams may be differentiated by volume and pitch. A shrill, piercing warble could mean anything from, "Somebody ate the muffin I was saving for later." to "A serial killer is breaking in the front door." On the other hand, a shriek that can decalcify your spinal column from one floor away can be loosely translated as, "My goodness, there appear to be a great number of snakes writhing around in the kitchen."
It sounded like banshees were running amok. Pots and pans were crashing, Mom was yelling, the dog was barking, and I could hear Dad laughing.
Though it was already dark outside, my brother and I slipped out of our window and managed to make it to ground level without breaking anything and beat feet for the creek.
-
Suffice it to say, upon our return, my brother and I had our backsides paddled. While I wasn't a fan of spankings, I just stoically accepted them as consequences for whatever it was that I had done.
For the next day or so Mom could hardly turn around without a Garter snake asking her to dance, and every time, Mom reflexively swatted whatever child was closest, even those who had nothing to do with the snakes running amok in the house. She was frazzled and harried and at her wits ends.
The worst of it was a few days later when she had a group of local ladies over for coffee and nisu. We had only been in town a few months and Mom was going out of her way to make friends.
Apparently (fortunately, my brother and I weren't there) the ladies were settled in the living room, trading gossip, nibbling on various Finnish confectionaries, and listening to Mom's Verdi and Rossini record albums when a garter snake decided emerge from under the couch.
The snake, perhaps just hungry for Mom's korvapuusti, or looking for the elusive exit, slid up on Mrs. Pelkkanen's shoe to have a look or maybe join in the conversation. One of the ladies across the room spotted the snake and tried to sound the alarm, sucked a piece of nisu into her throat and began to choke. She began coughing and trying to point as the lady next to her began pounding on her back in an effort to dislodge the obstruction.
At that point, another lady screamed, not bothering to point, which set off other ladies screaming for no particular reason.
The snake, apparently insulted at the less than cordial welcome, proceeded to slither across Mom's area rug towards possible freedom.
Mom was so incensed at the snake's cheeky gall she jumped up to get rid of the serpent but stumbled into the coffee table, spilling the coffee pot all over Mrs. Suuri's white skirt, and flipped the tray of treats across the room. Mom began snarling at the snake and spitting with ineffectual rage.
Fortunately, my oldest sister, keeping her wits about her, grabbed the broom and brusquely swept the garter into the dust pan and deposited the snake outdoors, which was all it wanted in the first place.
When calm was restored, the ladies were all laughing about the unusual entertainment and Mom had made several fast friends. Even Mrs. Suuri was mollified when Mom offered to clean her skirt, or replace it if cleaning didn't work.
If Mom was grateful for our assistance in expanding her social circles she had a strange way of showing it.
For the next two days my brother and I were required to pull every piece of furniture from each room, one room at a time, certify the room was snake-free, and replace the furnishings.
Without bothering to inform Mom, we found about a half-dozen snakes in various locations which were all set free in the garden.
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temptation tuesday
rules: share something about an idea you have/something that's speaking to you/an au you'd like to see and are considering writing/etc. etc. Basically anything that is tempting you away from your current wips!
tagged by @lu-sn, thank you so much!! still in awe that we're mutuals tbh, you're the coolest <3
well.... the question is, what is NOT tempting me away from my current wips 🥲 apologies to anyone who has kept up with my snippet posting bc none of those are remotely close to done yet fjdkskfjs. for starters, my main wips from before were the vegaspete oneshot ("when i look deep down") and lita polycule shenanigans (as yet untitled). now, i have several more ideas that are circulating and i have no idea where i'm going with ANY of them, let alone the actual wips 😭 😭 anyway here's the shortlist eh oh el
vegaspete watersports of all things ??? i'm surprised too, this coming from a person who literally has never attempted smut ever and now i'm suddenly tempted to try THIS 💀 no title yet, but i do know that if this gets finished, there will be sexy gaslighting involved (both a threat and a promise)
drugged vegaspete sex where pete gets drugged as part of an earlier negotiation. SMUT AGAIN I KNOW. LITERALLY WHERE DID THIS COME FROM. anyway, if that even goes well, the working title is "i put your love on and sank into the glow" from a very lovely vegaspete coded song <3
had a thought recently (which i think i've read in fics before) about vegas having a garden and i just MAY have to write it smh. anywayyy most important part is he feeds pete with it and i think that's beautiful
toddblack something. very vague but i want biting and kissing for them so that's the starting point 🥰
3 will be free brainrot. consuming me always, to the point of me wanting to not only try smut but write sex for three people 😶 although i guess if i actually go through with lita there's four involved there sooooo. basically i guess i'm looking to try writing new things hehe
winteam !!!! who knows lol but they are certainly speaking to me and i have a google doc open there so that's something
so yeah, those are the current brain worms! hopefully i can finish at least one of them in the near future, or i may be in danger of losing my mind :D enough from me though, better tag some other folks @pitchercries @mandaloresson @m-a-w-a @lady-guts @shubaka in case you're interested ❤️❤️
#this literally hurts me to look through#the strength of my aspirations will be my ultimate demise 😔#n e ways here you go#tag game
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“Do you remember the arboretum? Specifically the sun lamps?”
Knives looked at him, recognized the olive branch for what it was, and grunted in affirmation.
Vash smiled brightly and Knives immediately looked away with a scowl. Whatever - progress was progress.
“Remember how we would lay in the grass for hours and just… soak it in? Until,” he paused and bit his lip. The next word he wanted to say had the potential to break whatever tenuous peace they had. He decided to play it safe and skip it altogether. “Until we were asked what we were doing?”
Knives’ scowl deepened at the implication of Rem, but he was still listening. He scoffed, “We were trying to photosynthesize.”
“Yeah, but we didn’t know that at the time! We just knew it felt good.”
“Instinct,” Knives shrugged. “We knew what we were from the beginning.”
Vash ignored that last part and continued, “D’you remember what it tasted like?”
He vividly remembered trying to describe it to Rem and never really getting her to understand.
At that Knives looked back at him. He was silent for several moments, reaching for a memory that was barely there. “... sweet,” he eventually answered.
“I know you remember more than that, but alright. Anyway, it was the coolest thing ever, right?”
“What’s the point of this?”
“I’ll get there, shut up,” Vash swatted at Knives like he was a worm larva, “Then, we… landed, let’s call it… on this planet and felt the real sun for the first time? Remember that sunrise
Vash felt a spark of excitement when he saw Knives smile.
“We were incapacitated.”
“Completely drunk on sunlight! It was like those sun lamps times a million - we had no idea what to do with all that!”
“You threw up.”
“Shut up you did too,” he gently shoved Knives’ shoulder and Knives shoved him back. They shared a small laugh before either of them could think better of it.
“We didn’t sleep for months after that.”
Vash laughed, remembering the hazy sleepless nights coming down from the high of UV radiation.
Knives sighed, “Why are we talking about this, Vash? That was so long ago.”
“Because,” after a moment of deliberation, he cautiously leaned against his brother. When he didn’t jerk away Vash continued, “Because you’re the only one who can understand. You’re the only person I can talk to about this.”
Knives was silent.
“I miss you, Nai. I miss my brother.”
“I’m right here.”
“Are you?” Vash fired back before he could think twice about it. He sighed sharply and rubbed the incoming headache away. “I don’t want to fight. I’m so tired of fighting.”
After an almost achingly long period of silence, Vash felt Knives’ weight settle against his shoulder. In a voice that was almost too quiet to hear he replied, “I’m… also tired.”
“It’s a miracle! We finally found something we can agree on!”
Nai shoved him so hard he tipped over and Vash laughed the entire way down.
#this was supposed to be in the knives redemption au but i forgot that they got separated immediately after the fall#so them bonding over not being able to handle the suns couldnt have happened#but this was still cute so i wanted to post it
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I'll post pics from the con and my haul at some point (and make a beautiful display for my Miku nendroid I didn't know I wanted until I was holding it) but for now highlights eeee
Periodically hearing "Hi Barbie!" "Hi Barbie~" from all the barbie cosplayers
My Sinclair cosplay being recognized by not one, not two, but THREE groups, despite it being very lowkey!!! ❤️❤️❤️ i appreciate y'all
Someone wanting a picture on the day I didn't cosplay at all, just did a fancy outfit
Stamp rallies!! I've never done one before but I finished THREE and I'm gonna put the link click one up on my wall.
SCENE NYAN CAT COSPLAYER. I didn't end up asking for a photo but you were the COOLEST
The link and Zelda artist alley booth!!! In my other post I'll put their socials they were so nice and had such cool stuff
ENSTARS COSPLAYER WHO GAVE ME A NIKI CARD????
Tsukasa cosplayer giving me a worm on a string after I asked for a picture of them with my Wonderland Miku nendroid. I felt like a kid meeting santa
This con awakened interests I didn't know I had (or cared this much about). Nendroid collecting? Project Sekai? Foamcrafting? TikTok dances (who AM I)?? It was so Fucking joyful and. To every single person who was there, you helped make it awesome. My favorite part of cons is just experiencing crowds full of nerds unapologetically loving what they love, and sharing that love with others, and it's so magical
#sacanime#sacsummer2023#sacanime summer 2023#im so so busy with moving and school but all i want is to do a con haul spread#and write about it in my journal and revive my instagram so i can find people#also planning an enstars cosplay meetup w my partner for sacwinter.#and using that to advertise an enstarrie cosplay server and a fan panel we wanna do next summer.#crazy:b likers who go to sacanime Hit Me Up
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omg the can of worms you have opened... XDDD
Here you go with my go-to info dump from an animation enthusiast!!
Let me tell you about a fascinating little piece of animation history called the 'Multiplane Camera'! Way, way back in the 1930's, during a time when one of the coolest things was a cartoon in full technicolor! Disney engineers managed to perfect a device that came to be known as the multiplane camera. The multiplane camera was able to allow animators to give the illusion of depth, similar to when an actual cameraman would use the zoom function. Earlier versions were able to pan from one side of the background to the other, but none of them quite made it feel like the viewer could go into the scene. This was done by having parts of the background and various scenery painted on glass/plastic animation cells. The camera, and the painted layers would then be slowly moved closer together at different speeds, literally centimeters at a time. When complete, this gave the illusion that the viewer was moving through the painted environment toward the focus point of the background. With the completion of the camera, and its effects perfected, Disney's animated short, The Old Mill, won the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film. You can still see it on YouTube, and it is still a beautiful piece of media <3
I didn't see this during my last mental breakdown but I saw it for this one while looking through my inbox!
I've seen videos of this being done!!!! It's so fucking cool oh my god, art and animation is so fucking cool. People wanted to make 2D art that moved and had colour and voice acting so more people could enjoy it and I could CRY.
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A Court of Thorns and Roses was definitely a significant improvement from the last book involving a shapeshifting mythological faerie I read. Parts of it started [almost] the same way as the last one and there wasn’t one element of it that surprised me in any capacity. I knew the answer to the riddle the moment I finished reading it, but then again, it’s because I do read.
“Hunt this!”
I was genuinely surprised--and amused--to find a literal worm and not a snake or basilisk.
I did enjoy it. Yet I felt--and this is quite possibly because I haven’t read a true YA novel in a long time--that it was a little watered down and “safe” from what it could’ve been. I understand some things need to be toned down a little for the demographic, but there was still more she could’ve leaned into. In some parts it needed more show where it told, but the bulk of my hesitancy in reviewing it comes from where internal depth and conflict became more surface-level and hollow.
I did like it. I don’t know if I liked it enough to continue rather than just looking up spoilers, but oddly, I actually felt like the book started to find its rhythm more towards the end. It felt like a little twist to the Cupid and Psyche tale.
I liked Feyre. I think she could’ve been more, but I liked her. Unlike so many fantasy heroines these days, she wasn’t allergic to being a normal female, and she had compassion and heart I wasn’t expecting. She made the usual kinds of stupid decisions protagonists in these types of stories make, yet she did back it up a little better and was at least self-aware. That wins points with me. She’s a little unrealistically trusting in a variety of ways.
Tamlin’s one I feel like I don’t really know. He didn’t feel like an old immortal to me. He’s the one where I really think Maas played it too safe, but I don’t want to comment too much further on that. I loved the Summer Solstice scene. I did like the take on a gentler type of faerie lord. I’d personally be questioning a lot if I were in Feyre’s position. I’m sure I’m not supposed to as a reader, but I was. I wanted him off the pedestal.
I think his and Feyre’s relationship could’ve benefitted from a slower burn and a little more conflict. Not big misunderstandings; just little adjustment periods or something of that sort.
Lucien was by far my favorite of this lot. I always love a more well-rounded smartass and a master of third wheels. I love a loyal friend with depth, too.
I figured Rhys out a little too quickly, but he also for whatever reason was the switch that turned my fuller ability to pay attention to this book on. From what I’ve read so far, his magic was by far the coolest and he was a little more what I expected in this type of read. I’m not saying I want cookie-cutter characters, but this story definitely needed him. For balance, weird fantasy grounding, or something else, I don’t know.
So, overall, I liked the book. I don’t feel that strongly one way or another, but I had fun reading it.
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dont feel too bad abt not talking/posting much! dw i get it u_u BUT!!! if youd like id like to hear anything u have to say abt milesverse galar.....OR. if theres any interesting milesverse legendary/mythical lore thatd be mega cool too!!! :0
thank you neela!! that means a lot to me
in milesverse galar the main character is gloria and she travels around with her older brother victor (he's 15 and she's 13), hop, and eventually marnie. victor went on a journey when he was 13 but gave up before the first gym. this caused gloria to be extremely disappointed in him and they basically hate eachother now. gloria thinks victor is a failure and victor thinks gloria is an annoying self absorbed brat.
gloria looks up to leon a lot and thinks of him as her real older brother and wants to one day surpass him and become a new unbeatable champion. she's kinda egotistical and thinks she's the coolest guy in the universe. she names her pokemon more and more elaborate and batshit insane things that everyone else either just call it by it's species or shortens the names. she of course have to say their full title out loud no matter what. for example her sobble's name is THE GREAT BLADE OF LEGEND EXCALIBUR THE THIRD but literally everyone just calls him excalibur, exal, or just sobble. no one knows where excalibur the second is. also exal isn't even a sword.
victor is forced to go with gloria by their mom and is basically the brock of the group if brock was actually the biggest hater on the planet. he cooks a lot though it's his special interest.
as for the plot i kinda want to figure out a way to make rose's plan not as fucking stupid as it is in canon but im not sure how rn. maybe make the power thing a more urgent emergency or have it so the energy might run out at any moment or something
as for legendaries i would like to think up entire origin myths for all of them (except for like the aliens and the man made horrors) but that'd be like a very long post so im just going to keep to the arceus family for the most part. i think imaging what pokemythology is like is cool
so basically the legendaries that arceus made are dialga and palkia, then the lake trio, then mew, and then finally giritina because i think giritina being the youngest child is funny as hell.
mew is basically the adam/eve of pokemythology but after giving birth to mortal life they decide being a little shit is way funnier and is now basically a trickster god who causes problems on purpose like giving volo immortality.
another example mew got bored during rgby and started rping as a human basically and becomes the indigo champion. fucks with the kanto trio and probably made their friendship divorce even worse, stole the masterball, stole a truck, had green capture mewtwo for them, takes mewtwo and then fucks off.
giritina isn't like actually evil. they're basically just an angsty lonely teenager with anger issues if they were also worm satan. they get easily attached to any human that's nice to them (volo and dawn) and can communicate to them through their thoughts which have the unfortunate side effect of fucking them up mentally a bit. volo had it worse since giritina was more pissed back then compared to dppt.
arceus is the most out of touch dad who tries to be supportive but always makes everything worse somehow ever. they overhear lucas having an argument with dawn over how lucas feels like he's not as good as his friends since he's not a hero like them and arceus thinks "this lad will definitely be the perfect candidate to become the new hisuian hero" and shoved him back in time. they also gave him amnesia since the last guy (alder) kept whining that he had a wife and kids at home. then after lucas did what arceus told him to arceus thinks that giving him a portion of his power by letting him use an arceus avatar in battle instead of taking him home was a good idea.
dialga, palkia, mew, and giritina all don't like them. dialga and palkia are kinda awkward about it like "haha yeah sure dad" whenever arceus says something insanely stupid. mew thinks they're a weenie and the world would probably be better without them but doesn't try overthrowing them by themselves they just give one eyed weirdos immortality to do it for them. giritina is giritina.
the lake trio are chill they just hang out in their caves for the most part.
#milesverse#woe arceus family lore be opon ye#also galar lore i guess#i think arceus being an absolutely clueless dad (gender neutral) is funny as hell
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Reading Summary: 1. May, 2024 (The Hunger of the Gods, Chapters 50-78)
CHAPTER 50 | ORKA I actually like Vesli and Spert, though I do wish they were more developed and had more nice interactions with Orka to help play up the emotions in this scene. Spert's scenes and appearances usually boil down to 'Spert hungry. where porridge?' and Vesli, while having had more scenes, feels like she's brushed off by Orka more than not.
I also wish we'd have gotten more scenes with Vesli and Breca in the first book to help solidify her motivation. There's not much going on there, even though Breca was the one who found and saved her. I wish that Orka's story in the first book was organized differently to allow us to get more invested in her family. I knew since chapter one that they'd be killed and abducted, so it was hard to get into their presence since I knew they'd be gone soon. Because of how distant Orka felt from them at times, I also think I didn't really get the emotional undercurrent in their relationships. I wish there was just more there in general. More feelings, more substance, more conflict too; I wish Orka was struggling harder to be a good mother and feeling guilty about her failures and needing to get her son back not just because she needs and loves him, but also because she feels like she has to make up for failing him thus far. I want her to think more about Thorkel, and I wish they'd had more genuinely romantic moments, like a kiss here and there.
There's just a lot, I think, in the pacing of both books that makes it hard to get into the characters as much as I know I could.
CHAPTER 51 | VARG Okay at first I thought they were revenants but now I'm thinking maybe vampire thralls??? Because of the tongue with teeth. Like maybe it's only one guy that's an actual monster (the one with the worm-tooth-tongue) while the rest are people he killed and 'revived' or started mind-controlling. It's a very fun battle-scene. The second one I've liked so far I think. There was a bit too much snarling and snarls but I can imagine one runs out of synonyms at some point. I also wish that Varg's wolf being set free was a bit better described, since it feels like we do the book equivalent of cutting to black even though we were getting to the coolest part of all.
CHAPTER 52 | GUÐVARR I really enjoyed the way everything fell into place here. I'm even almost happy for Guðvarr here; not because I like him, but because his chapters were finally interesting, and only because this dumbass finally spoke up and used what little brains he's got to make shit happen. I wish his self-awareness had been more consistent through his chapters instead of flip-flopping like it does sometimes, but I liked its implementation here. I just wish Gwynne gave up on the 'pissing his pants' characterization already. It's tired, it's grating, it doesn't add anything when it happens every chapter, and it's boring.
CHAPTER 53 | VARG I fucking LOVE tungumaturs!!!! Oh my god what a concept. Beautiful, amazing, showstopping, it's so disgusting and I absolutely love it. I never would move to Iskidan either, Varg.
pg. 454
"I think he's dead," Æsa said as she ran past him, grinning wildly as she sprinted after a handful of men and women who were running from the settlement, fleeing into the gloom of the beech-wood beyond. "Best be after them," she said, "don't think we want any of these parasite-spreading niðings getting out of here," and without waiting she was running after them. Varg broke into a run after Æsa, Einar saw them and followed.
These paragraphs are both very awkward. Right off the bat, the first one is an entire sentence even though it would flow better if it was split up more. As an example:
"I think he's dead," Æsa chuckled as she ran past him. Grinning wildly, she sprinted after a handful of men and women who were fleeing into the gloom of the beech-wood beyond.
"running from the settlement" is implied by "fleeing", so I feel it would have been best removed.
The second paragraph also has some formatting issues. "Best be after them" and "don't think we…." are both full sentences, so the dialogue tag should end in a period, and the following sentence should be capitalized. "Einar saw them and followed" also does not feel connected to the first clause of the last sentence. It'd have been more natural if instead of a comma, that passage was split into two sentences with a period.
Furthermore, Æsa is described on multiple occasions as running/sprinting, or in general moving further away at high speeds. However the way she is described as speaking and running "without waiting" does imply that she had stopped at some point to impart this information to him. Either she should have been shouting so we'd get the sense of growing distance between her and Varg (dropping the "without waiting" clause), or we could have had Einar speak in the second paragraph instead. As an example of how the two edited paragraphs could have looked:
"I think he's dead!" Æsa told him as she ran past. Grinning wildly, she sprinted after men and women fleeing into the gloom of beech-woods beyond the settlement. Einar lumbered up close. "Best be after them," he noted and patted Varg on the pack, shoving him forward. "We don't want any of these parasite niðings getting out of here!" Before he could finish speaking, Varg broke into a mad dash after Æsa. Einar swiftly followed.
Einar would maybe have said it in a different way, but I'm not here to do that much work. But I do think that having Einar speak in the second chapter is more clear regarding the action. I also varied the language a little bit, since we get "ran", "running" and "run" quite close to each other. This is a first pass, something that would probably go through an edit or two during editing proper.
I want to note that while I do rag on the language and formatting in this book a lot, it is with the knowledge that Gwynne is probably a victim of his publishing house here. It is a publisher's duty to make sure that a book goes through edits and is improved and polished before it is sent out to the public, and it is rather clear to me that this either did not happen, or that it was not done enough. That's not Gwynne's fault. From what I gather, he lost his daughter whilst working on The Hunger of the Gods. My theory is that Orbit forced this book to get published before it was ready. So while I will continue critiquing the prose in this novel, it is done with the knowledge that Gwynne isn't the culprit here.
pg. 455 "like a wild thing" is a rather weak simile. I think maybe "struggling and bucking like a frightened/wild horse" could have had a better effect? Not sure on that, but I just know that "like a wild thing" isn't working for me here.
"Einar hacked tongue-people to the ground, trampled them" feels… maybe not clunky, but incomplete. "trampling" could have worked better in this instance.
pg. 459 First of all, with how Vol is called 'Glornir's woman', I thought that 'I am the prince's man' meant they were together. Presumably I am wrong about this.
Second of all, EINAR!!!! BEST BOY EINAR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CHAPTER 54 | BIÓRR pg. 463 "I'm worried about Kalv, Papa." TOT Lik-Rifa doesn't really have the charisma of a cult leader. Not with the way she's portrayed. I'd have wished she had been given more gravitas and spoke more to the hearts of her followers, even if she didn't exactly mean what she'd say. This would have been a great opportunity to show how she frames this to her followers, how they're asked to think about their deeds. "It is us who shall end the ruination of this world, who shall bring freedom and prosperity to all. No more shall the Tainted be hunted and shunted, no more shall you be beaten and bruised, no more shall you know the terror and fear of hated and isolation. You shall walk upon these lands equal with all around you, the Tainted and the untouched, and none shall ever again feel the weight of a collar around their neck." Like, that would make everyone's devotion a lot more believable. It would also make Lik-Rifa feel actually cunning and dangerous beyond her threatening to eat people, which gets old fast (to me, the reader). Giving her a moving speech would genuinely be a great addition.
CHAPTER 54 | ORKA pg. 469 Why, why, WHY is Sæunn referred to as 'the Hundur-thrall' in ORKA'S POV? Why not 'the woman' or something along these lines? I can understand why Orka hasn't taken the collar off yet, since she needs Sæunn and there is a chance she might escape if she doesn't keep it on, but like. I can see Sæunn still helping out, for one, and for two, give her some dignity and personhood beyond thralldom. It's Orka's POV! She's Tainted too! She shouldn't be dehumanising people like that. Just say 'the woman'! Same goes for 'the Hundur-blood'. It's so demeaning, especially with how it calls back to Elvar's treatment of Ilmur and the supposedly impactful moment when Biórr told her Ilmur has a fucking name.
pg. 473 I saw the 'Halja only humps women' conversation on tumblr and thought that maybe it will come off forced or out of the blue but actually, I love how it's implemented. It feels natural, especially the fact that the Bloodsworn aren't actually sure what her deal is; and it plays nicely into how they tend to lovingly bully Lif in general.
CHAPTER 56 | ELVAR I'm wondering if Gwynne means for Skuld's confidence and borderline narcissism to excuse Elvar's treatment of her. Skuld clearly thinks herself to be a higher lifeform over the humans she is surrounded by, which is to be expected from a god, but that doesn't really mean she deserves being enslaved and abused as she had been. Honestly I hope Elvar gets hella humbled or dies at some point; I am so sick of her being handed everything on a silver platter by the story even though she hasn't really struggled for it and doesn't have enough substance for me to care about her. Few of the characters do, but at least they aren't as infuriatingly horrible people as her.
CHAPTER 57 | ORKA pg. 484 Again, teeth usually don't draw back; but lips sure do!
pg. 487 The ravens paid off their debt already. They do not have to be here. Why are they here? Are they trying to make Orka indebted to them?
pg. 489 Ahh, I see. It's nice that the ravens have a reason for appearing beyond helping Orka out again like some Deus Ex Machina. It's also nice to see that there are more people like Orka who are able to work with non-humans on friendly terms.
pg. 490 Please don't tell me the ravens will do the favour for free, citing her saving them from the frost-spiders. They paid that off already, as they said.
CHAPTER 58 | BIÓRR Finally a Biórr chapter when him mentioning Agnar and Elvar doesn't piss me off. I do like that he was so quick to let Bjarn and Kráka go. I had been waiting for Gwynne to pay-off the bloð svarið on Kráka and I really like how he's done it. The fact that Biórr got it, that he put up some resistance but knew at heart he needed to let them go… beautiful. The fact they got caught so easily though…. a bit less beautiful. I like Breca putting up a fight, I like Rotta being actually kinda scary with how he is nice (whether genuinely or not) in a convincing way, how he is smart and knows things and leverages it, and with how ruthless he gets. It's something I wish Lik-Rifa was capable of as well. It was overall a very good chapter. I legitimately wondered if Biórr was gonna get out of it alive and well!
CHAPTER 59 | VARG Varg's slice-of-life chapters are a nice breath of fresh air. It's fun seeing everyone bully him so fondly and I love Røkia choosing to match hairstyles with him. There's also a lot of growth shown in this chapter, with Varg actually being interested in what he is learning and asking questions. The others were right to call him out on it, because he truly never really seemed to have that drive to actually work on that aspect of his character. I miss the focus we had on his motivations and Frøya, but it might be the wiser choice considering that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it while chasing after Vol.
CHAPTER 60 | GUÐVARR Guðvarr is becoming the funniest coward on earth. What a pathetic, whiney cunt. This was a great chapter, honestly. Frek being a dick to Guðvarr was so funny. Guðvarr has a knack for lying and acting though, just a little bit. It's interesting to see the shit he gets himself into over and over again; every fit of fear leads to another fit of pathetic attempts to beg for his life, however that may actually manifest. It's borderline relatable? Digging yourself a deeper grave whilst trying to hold up a web of lies because you know the consequences are shit if anyone breaks that web down.
CHAPTER 61 | ELVAR pg. 526 I feel a little torn about Skuld thanking Elvar. On one hand, Skuld has been characterized as extremely proud and stern, indignant at the abuse and disrespect she receives. On the other, Elvar has hurt her significantly and lords her power over Skuld every chance she gets. I can see Skuld trying to keep to Elvar's "good side", but I also wish that she hadn't said anything; too prideful and righteously angry at her treatment to say thank you, but too afraid of Elvar's power over her to go on a tirade about her anger at being parted from her sword and how she finally has what is rightfully hers or something like that. I guess my position is "I hate it, but I get it."
pg. 529 Agnar said that saying once in the entire Shadow of the Gods novel, in the very beginning. I wish he'd said it once or twice more so that the reader would understand it's a saying he uses often and not just something he said in the spur of the moment when he found out who Uspa is.
pg. 530 Bragging about all the people Elvar hunted down and/or enslaved is not as cool as she might think it is. It only doubles down on the suffering she is responsible for.
CHAPTER 62 | BIÓRR PLEASE let us see Orka find Breca in this book and then fail to save him. PLEASE that would be so juicy. And maddening. But so juicy.
CHAPTER 63 | VARG Why did this chapter have to be so short ToT I wanted to see them get ready to kick Jaromir's ass NOW. Dammit :(
CHAPTER 64 | ORKA pg. 541
Something glinted up ahead, catching Orka's eye, and Sæunn stopped, hand raised. "Frost-spiders," the Hundur-thrall hissed.
Again, why is Sæunn objectified/demeaned by being referred to as 'the Hundur-thrall' multiple times on this page? In this instance, 'she said' would have worked well, since she is the last to have performed an action.
Likewise, in this passage:
"Stay behind me," she said to the Hundur-thrall.
the dialogue tag did not have to specify that Orka said this to Sæunn. If that had to be mentioned, it'd be much better to define Sæunn as either a person with Hundur-blood (instead on focusing on her status as a slave, focus on her personhood), by a feature of her appearance, or by an action she was doing. There aren't that many spaces in this book where a person is constantly spoken of this way in the narrative (such as in Varg's or even Elvar's chapters anymore), with their names usually getting repeated or dropped because specification like that isn't needed. It is quite off-putting that Sæunn is being treated this way by the text. Not to mention that this is not less repetitive.
CHAPTER 65 | ELVAR pg. 547 I wish Elvar had been the one to either say or think Grend's dialogue here; and I wish she had the wherewithal to group herself in with all those who arrived. She is no better than them, her only motivation being battle-fame/fair-fame and money. She would not have gone on to do anything else if not for the bloð svarið.
CHAPTER 66 | VARG Gods, please, don't let this be Varg's last chapter. There's like a hundred pages left and I NEED to see this shit go down.
CHAPTER 67 | ELVAR pg. 556 SO MUCH of that should have played a major part in The Shadow of the Gods! We should have learned all that back then, the first time Elvar has returned to Snakavik, when her father tried to manipulate her into coming back with the shallowest offer possible. It feels like this information wasn't taken into consideration at all when Gwynne had written that whole-ass chapter; it seemed like Elvar didn't have anything of that happening in her life at that point. This feels almost like a retcon. There had been no sense of this bitterness or this past when Elvar was here last time, when these emotions should have been at their peak.
Likewise, in the first book, when Elvar came back, it was supposedly a big deal that Jarl Störr was her father. But I never wondered about her parentage because there was never any hint that her parentage was important. When she apparently had an issue returning to Snakavik, familial issues were only one of many potential backstory conflicts, so it wasn't really anything that resonated when there was an explicit confirmation that yes, the major conflict of her past was family-related. There wasn't really any weight to the reveal nor to the offer she received, and that chapter was one of the weakest and most frustrating. She should have festered in her hatred for her father during her time away, made her return to Snakavik impactful in the first book, instead of her having fuckall feelings and thoughts back then only now to suddenly sprout a backstory that affects her while she returns for the second time.
pg. 558 I'll give this one and one compliment only; "Hello, Father" is a damn good callback to the first book.
CHAPTER 68 | VARG YES he is still in the game! I have checked some reviews for this book and one claimed that the book gets worse once Varg's chapters disappear at the end, and so I am dreading when that happens.
It's nice to see Varg actually use some wits and the skills he's been taught to find good opportunities to attack instead of running into battle with nothing in his head but chop, chop, chop. About time really. This battle was generally very fun to follow, though it does make me question how many Bloodsworn there are exactly. They seem to be sprouting like daisies and multiplying like rabbits.
CHAPTER 69 | ELVAR pg. 570 I wish Elvar had said 'I will not' instead of 'I cannot'. "I cannot" implies she would be willing to ally with her father under other circumstances, which does not sound right to me; not with all the hatred she is supposedly holding towards him for the abuse and manipulation she had endured at his and Thorun's hand.
CHAPTER 70 | VARG pg. 574 Varg should have been a fuckin' acrobat! Perhaps he will be known as Varg Wall-Scaler in the future.
pg. 582 Oh my god???? Was Jaromir, or someone he's associated with, trying to resurrect their own gods in Iskidan????
CHAPTER 71 | ELVAR I guess Gwynne meant for this to be a feel-good victory maybe? But I don't feel much of anything. "Oh, great, Elvar got another thing handed to her on a silver platter because she owns slaves". What a wonderful, joyous occasion. Wahoo. It's honestly rather annoying that Orka and Varg have stronger motivations with actual deep meaning that affects them greatly but keep losing or being veered off-course, whereas Elvar's just out here, a selfish cunt who's doing all this only because she has taken the blod svarid and doesn't actually give a shit, and gets everything. Guðvarr's struggles are more compelling than this, because he at least gets constantly humbled and thrown around; Elvar just… gets things, even things she never seemed to real care for until she got them and suddenly it's supposed to matter?
I hope her POV stops here or doesn't get used too much after. We have other characters actually wanting something important to them to follow (and also Guðvarr and Biórr, but at least Biórr is rare.)
CHAPTER 72 | ORKA Lif strikes back! He was taught not only how to fight, but also how to bully folk. Well done, little man. And Orka actually does have a different plan this time! Still lacking the deep-cunning a little bit, but maybe this is yet another strategy to be made off-page (ughhhhh) to come back with a vengeance later.
CHAPTER 73 | BIÓRR Whining about Elvar and Agnar again… gods. If Agnar and Elvar had been character I liked or respected to some degree, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, but it is annoying regardless, made worse by my dislike of these characters specifically.
Was this chapter… truly necessary? I had thought we switched to Biórr to see Orka attack, or at least getting close to it. Without that explicit tie-in, I just feel like this chapter should have been cut, really? It doesn't feel like it adds anything meaningful enough, neither to plot nor character (even with Myrk).
CHAPTER 74 | ORKA Okay, many of these late chapters are actually really good (if we ignore a small handful). Lif saying he won't sleep through this job is hilarious. The parallell between Myrk and Biórr and Revna and Gunnar was also a little funny? But not really. I have stopped pointing out awkward sentences and other choices made prose-wise but I do want to note that they do happen pretty much every chapter, including this. It's not bad, not entirely, but yanno. Also, Harek… see, I don't really feel much here? I don't feel like there has been enough focus on how Harek was doing, pretty much only following Breca and Bjarn through Biórr's POV, which makes it kind of difficult to be surprised or care or be angry. Some children were in general described at being into this whole Lik-Rifa business, but since Harek has been set up all the way in the first chapter of the first book, I feel like there should be more to him than getting mentioned a couple of times only for him to then bring about the failure of Orka's rescue mission (which is what I'm guessing happens here). It might have been by choices, but if everything is a choice here, then the choices have made this book very difficult to care about, because nothing seems to have any tangible impact. Not on me.
CHAPTER 75 | BIÓRR Not gonna lie, Ilmur saying he'll kill the Bloodsworn for Biórr and then immediately dying was…. a moment of dark comedy for me. I don't know why he thought that was the best choice for him instead of getting reinforcements, considering we never saw him learn weaponscraft.
Some chapters, such as this, I don't really have much to say; it was quite nice.
CHAPTER 76 | ORKA SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT MY BOOOOOOOOYYYYY!!!!!
CHAPTER 77 | GUÐVARR DAMN. They REALLY brough back Orna just for her to die IMMEDIATELY. That was actually so fucking funny. Idk if we were supposed to laugh but I sure did. I'm also not surprised Sigrún sided with Lik-Rifa; it is a game of guile, and when faced with a power one cannot stand against, it is smarter to join it. Unless you disagree significantly with it. I expect both Guðvarr and Sigrún to be killed since they're not Tainted, which would actually be a nice ending here.
CHAPTER 78 | ORKA You know, it only now occurred to me that if Glornir and Thorkel were birth-brothers and not just brothers because they were both berserkers, shouldn't Glornir have known that Thorkel was alive all these years? Varg knew that Frøya lived and died and so did Storolf and Fain with Kalv; why'd he not feel Thorkel's life nor his death?
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What an ending!
It definitely got my adrenaline pumping, though I understand why some people said it had been rushed. There is a lot happening, build-up that took place across multiple books lasting a chapter or two before being more or less resolved (or, in Varg's case with his sister, not really addressed). There are many things that felt like they should have been explored deeper in this book, and a lot seemed to happen because it needed to but didn't really strike through emotionally or thematically, nor was it always enjoyable to read.
While I do rag on how many chapters were from Guðvarr's perspective he is…. an unfortunately major player in many of the events at play, so I understand why he'd be such a frequent character. That doesn't change the fact that out of 5 POV characters, I consistently only cared about Orka and Varg, mildly disliked Biórr for being somewhat whiny and indecisive and lacking conviction, disliked Guðvarr but laughed at him, and actively hated Elvar. So many elements were underutilized, the gods at Elvar's disposal no less.
The frequency of magic also raised an issue I mostly forgave in the first book; how the hell does Galdur-magic and Seiðr-magic work? Why is it so easy to revive a dead god and build them a new body but so difficult to free Lik-Rifa? Why didn't the Battle-Grim have Uspa raise Agnar from the dead? This I haven't really touched on but really! They all seem to care so much about Agnar but they raise a god from the dead with nothing but bones, grow him a completely new body, and Agnar is just… allowed to stay dead? They don't even seem to consider it. They're just like "oh well, our chief is dead… shucks :/" and then they re-make a god. Y'all. What the fuck.
I cannot believe I read 210 pages in one day. How the fuck.
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