#the women who wear makeup are pickmes.

[swagging-back-to]

the fact she literally looks like a clown, both physically and intellectually...

[audio transcript]

I don’t like makeup. I’m against makeup. I don’t think it’s good for women and I don’t think they really need to be using it honestly. Makeup is capitalising on women’s insecurities when it’s something that they can easily fix. I think it takes away from a woman’s natural beauty, and also it is so bad for you. Like, you think about how skin absorbs things. When you read the ingredients on a foundation bottle, what is in it? You can’t even pronounce it. It’s a bunch of crap that you’re putting on your face. And that is in turn making your skin worse, so that you have to keep buying more foundation.

The original audio clip is from a podcast (radio show?) where the other women on the show are visibly rolling their eyes. It's gone viral with everyone calling the woman criticizing makeup a "pickme girl" and naturally, those comments are all over this video too. Like feminist critique makes you a pickme girl but doing your makeup over the sound of said critique to show that you're way too cool to care about such things doesn't qualify.

[molluskzone]

and hmmmm maybe i will continue to Instigate. i have talked about the concept of "pick me girls" before on this blog and why i don't like it. and i truly genuinely with all my heart believe that women complaining about "pick mes" are infinitely MORE of a "pick me" than the women they target. you can only repeat the same stuff for so long before you're just seething over nothing, yeah? and honestly, if you're going to claim to be feminist about it, i don't think it's very feminist to claim that everything a woman does, she does because she wants to get "picked" by a man. why do you think men are so special that everything you do needs to revolve around getting one? if a woman is doing something genuinely misogynist, you can call her a misogynist. because a lot of the time when i see whining about "pick mes" its not even a woman whos trying to get men to like her by tearing down other women. it's just a woman who like, thinks makeup is stupid (not misogynistic OR inherently pick-me behavior, because women do not pop out of the womb with a full face), or think girly things are frivolous (maybe you can call her a BITCH but you can't call her a misogynistic pick me girl for that alone). also the "pick me" concept being named after being PICKED (by men) just leads me to this idea that you're not actually mad about her tearing down other women, youre mad about the appeal to MEN since that is what's being centered in your language! and what's more "pick me behavior" than that?

[tboybitch]

not kinky but it's an interesting experience being tmasc and also feminine in like a conventional beauty standards way. I keep seeing posts saying stuff like makeup is enforced on women and I agree!! but I still like wearing it bc it's pretty and i wanna be a pretty boy :3

[albi-bumblebee]

”this character is an nlog!!!” and it’s just a female character being slightly masculine while not putting down other women/girls. “this girl is such a pickme!!!” and it’s just that she doesn’t like to shave and doesn’t like people forcing her to wear makeup. “she has internalized misogyny!!!” and she’s a feminist who happens to wear masculine clothes. i fucking hate when feminist/or political terms go mainstream, everyone starts using them incorrect.

[pissmoon]

IF INSTAGRAM BITCHES STILL WANT TO DISCOURSE 'PICKMES' IN MF 2023 OK HERE WE GO. I have many thoughts about how 'feminist' criticism of 'im not like other girls' is centered around the idea that the only reason why a teenage girl could ever feel like this is being motivated by 'male attention' alone, and never ever because, at that age they dont have much better language to describe the feeling of alienation from the gender roles and expectations on what it means to be a 'girl'. If u throw the term 'internalized misogyny' around so much it should not be hard for you to understand that women and even little girls are socially conditioned to reinforce the patriarchy, women are the guard dogs of the patriarchy actually. Like this is 101 shit to anyone that thinks they get to call themselves a 'feminist'. Little girls who are raised to believe that 'girls' should always be put together, not act up, obsessed with their looks, have to like pink and 'girly' stuff and its abnormal if they do not will often bully and ostraticize girls who dont conform or care about this type of social expectations and standards (depends on your environment, maybe you were lucky enough to not go to school with such girls, but it doesnt mean they dont exist). Like you are 6 years old and everyone ever gives you all clothes everything ever in pink like other colors dont exist - some kids have a very strong gut reaction to being told they 'have to' like something which is why so many girls had a long phase of hating the color pink. 'You HAVE TO like it as a girl' 'no, the fuck, i dont' is a reasonable reaction. These girls are told they are weirdos for being 'not like other (REAL) girls' because they dare to not like wearing hair in braids and skirts feel uncomfy to them since the beginning but if they choose to reclaim it and take pride in the fact they can just be themselves without caring what they are supposed to be like as 'girls', its them who have an internalized misogyny problem, never the girls who bullied them for being bad at makeup, right? 'Its not that all girls are this or that' they are fucking kids and teenagers and society was telling them all girls are this or that since day 1 and they ended up believing it, boo hoo. Performing feminity is unrealistic and hard enough for children that they feel alienated from the idea they are a 'real' girl. This brutal enforcement of 'feminity' which is an abstract concept as default in women and girls causes so much needless division between girls/women, it all causes needless polarization over the fact that we are human beings with different aesthetics, fashion, hobbies, temperaments, interests, personalities. We are made to feel like we dont belong, like we are freak abomitations who will never be 'real' women if our hair is messier and we dont care about having our nails done. How about that, how is none of that ever a part of the discussion. And some will say oh these girls were probably lesbian/bi/non-binary/trans dudes, but like my point here is that this shit is 100% alienating for cishet women as well and it doesnt make u inherently trans or something to not like pink and makeup lmfao

[papirouge]

So I’m on tiktok and the bear vs man thing was popular until “booktok” and “dark romance readers” community started making thirst edits of this man wade wilson who brutally murdered two women with no remorse and has large swastika tattoos, calling him hot. It’s the same thing with those “true crime” girls that make edits and pages dedicated to serial killers and school shooters. They support women and feminism “UNTIL”.. 😒 and to no one’s surprise it’s mostly ⚪️ women doing this

I think a lot of female serial killer stans have a "I would change him 💗" syndrome but on a pathological level. They seemingly can't process they would most likely be another victim if they crossed their paths. And since most serial killers are known to be narc, they entertain this mess (if they're alive). See Charles Manson.

Those women don't come off to me as "feminist" - or more like "it's aktchually feminist to wear makeup uwu" kind of feminism.

I think a lot of those YA and erotica books are PSYOP/grooming ground for women to make them more tolerant to male abuse. "Fifty Shades of Gray" walked so all this bullshit could flock our bookstore shelves. In a normal world we would lock up those editors under the ground of society corruption. Glamorizing BDSM, cheating, age gaps/pedophilia, incest bestiality, etc.

I'm not defeatist though and I think this trend will also radicalize girls against everything the anti female agenda it perpetuates.

Thinking of it, I grew up with shōjo manga which as the most pickme culture you could think of (my favorite manga was "Fruits Basket" where the female protagonist is the biggest tradwaifu/nadeshiko you could think of and I still managed to never be a pickme) so there's hope lol

[ms-hells-bells]

found a youtube video bashing this woman who said she didn’t wear makeup and thought it was bad for women, everyone in the comments calling her a pick me and being super misogynistic. how the hell is not wearing make up pick me? women aren’t allowed to have independent opinions without everyone making it somehow centered around men.

how the hell did people mix up the word pickme so bad, that the women who DON'T do things society pressures for men are called pickmes??? again, it just convinces me, that even good intentioned terms relating to women just cannot be used, they always inevitably get weaponised against us. you see genderists call radfems handmaidens as well.

[goudavibrations]

im a makeup hater for sensory and feminist reasons but i keep getting hypnotized by little makeup videos because its so satisfying to watch and then of course the algorithm serves up videos about how women who dont wear makeup are pickmes 🙂‍↔️ (me shaking me head no in a resigned slightly sardonic manner)

[cartoonscientist]

unpopular opinion but I think people get way too defensive if you bring up that like, there’s no real reason women need to wear makeup in the professional world in order to be respected, that’s actually kind of fucked up, like obviously there’s nothing inherently sexist about cosmetology and makeup artistry, but maybe you should think a little bit about why you feel the need to put on a full face before leaving the house and consider that the women with bare faces who you call “lazy” or “not put together” are trading in the labor time spent in front of the mirror for being a target of misogyny and might actually be doing something difficult and sort of brave

everyone will be like “I’m sick of these pickmes bragging about how they don’t need to wear makeup! Some of us have acne scars or rosacea and NEED to wear foundation every day! feminism is just attacking other women! maybe you’re the ones brainwashed by the patriarchy into thinking you need to act like men!” totally ignoring the questions of like… what about people who also have facial scars who don’t wear makeup? why is the idea of wearing cosmetics so firmly connected to femaleness in your mind?

disclaimer: I love the aesthetic and transformative qualities of makeup, I have effectively devoted a section of my life to the appreciation and application of eyeshadow, I have taken a theatrical makeup art class. I would just love for makeup to be something that women choose to wear, something special that signifies joy taken in self expression, rather than this extra obligation that’s expected of them.

[hugsandnoregrets]

I feel like I must’ve had a completely different high school and middle school experience compared to apparently a weird portion of women on the internet who are claiming that they were constantly shamed for wearing makeup like they were pariahs for partaking in a multimillion dollar industry.

I never once had a girl who didn’t wear makeup tell me she was better than me, I had older teachers tell me that less is more - but none ever told me to get rid of makeup altogether, my father mocked my bolder looks - but never mocked my sister’s basic natural shimmery makeup, and my grandmas tried to convince me to be happy without it. But according to everyone online, liking makeup is apparently a crime, persecuted like no other hobby, girls who don’t wear makeup are cackling all powerful pickme queens who subjugate the innocent makeup loving girly girls.

But I was mocked by makeup girlies for having crap eyeliner, for doing ugly eyeshadow colors, for being too bold, for having ugly foundation that looked chalky, for overdoing blush, for trying out blues and greens in the era of pinks and golds, and for looking like a child did my makeup. I was teased by the younger women of my family for looking tired and for not trying and for being lazy and teased by girls in school when I didn’t wake up in time to put it on. But idk apparently that’s not the norm??

[midnightt-vice]

I know I haven’t been on tumblr in a month but I’m here to yap about the experience of being an autistic woman. Or better named “the weird/shy/quiet girl to autistic woman pipeline but it went unnoticed/undiagnosed/dismissed for decades”!

It’s very isolating and I’m not saying this to make others feel bad or anything. It’s literally just lonely and boring. It’s more than “not fitting in” with other girls because the neurotypical, conventionally attractive, and stereotypical mean girl type can spot “weird girls” a fucking mile away and clock you as different. And the thing is, you don’t do anything to these girls ever. You sit by yourself or with your “weird girl” friend group but once you’re alone, they’ll come over and tease you with things like “we’re friends, right?” or bully you for wearing all black or being into “demonic metal” or for wearing “raccoon makeup”. And it’s like… I have done nothing to these girls, never talked to them in my life, but somehow I’m a target of relentless bullying and their mocking attitudes, as if my existence is a personal attack on them simply because I’m different. And the thing is we’re not too different, we have a lot more in common. They just pushed their idea of what/who I am onto me and then got mad at me for it.

But whenever you do find your girl friend group, it’s all fine and dandy for a while. But things start to fall apart or everyone goes their own way, and no matter how hard you try there is absolutely no rekindling those connections. Whether it’s because you outgrew one another or you’re all so different than you were 10+ years ago. And that’s fine, but after being away from them for so long you start to realize that they were merely tolerating you and felt bad for you. Because you were still too loud, too weird, too happy or excited for them and you always had to dial it back and mask your feelings and interests.

I never really knew why I felt like this my whole life, even with a lot of really close friends (mostly girls). Like I thought we both liked this thing? And now my interest in it is weird or boring or lame? Am I not doing this girl existence properly or… what? Did I not get the memo?

It’s less of “I’m not like other girls 💕✨” and more like “I’m not like other girls :(“ because I’ve been relentlessly bullied by the majority of girls, even friends, throughout my life. And it’s made me want nothing more than a genuine female friendship, just once, that doesn’t feel like I’m too excitable or “too much like a dude” or whatever else.

“But you’re being a pickme for preferring male friends/not having any female friends!” I cannot emphasize enough how much more accepting of my bullshit the boys were than neurotypical girls were. I’ve always had girl friends and had very deep, meaningful connections with them even if they weren’t always nice to me. If anything, I’ve hardly ever formed any crushes on my guy friends and it was ALWAYS THEM forming a crush on me just because I “wasn’t like other girls,” but in a way that put other women down. And I never fell for that shit.

“But everyone gets bullied a bit in school, it’s normal. Your experiences are something everyone goes through.” Really? Is it really? Because I don’t think being threatened, hit/beaten, and stalked by your classmates and “friends” is normal. I didn’t see it happening to anyone else who shared the same friends as me. Why does every single autistic woman share very similar experiences that are associated with their childhood, school, and upbringing? Why were we all diagnosed with anxiety and/or depression at 14/15 and told we were over emotional/sensitive? Why have so many of us had undiagnosed eating disorders and other mental health issues? “Autism is a spectrum though.” Great observation. I’m pretty damn lucky I’d say but not everyone else is, and even though I’d consider myself “lucky” that doesn’t excuse the shit that happened to me. Also if you think it’s normal to experience these things, you’re either stupid or in deep denial about your own experiences. I was in denial for years until everything hit me at once.

You wanna know why women who are in their late 20s to their early 40s are being diagnosed with autism and ADHD in droves now? Because when we were kids, girls “didn’t have” those things because they were “boy disorders”. Boys are diagnosed at 3 fucking years old meanwhile girls have to go through a large part of their life isolated, being bullied, clinging onto whatever “weird” personality they have because it’s their fucking lifeline, the trope of who they are, because we had NOTHING. We had dads who thought it was cool we were tomboys and moms who thought we were just moody. We. Had. Nothing.

“But you’re undiagnosed.” People still have autism whether they are diagnosed or not. A diagnosis is nothing more than an answer to what most of us already know. It’s basically just “yep, you have Thing, good luck!” But that’s if you’re lucky enough to find a doctor that listens and doesn’t mark your female ass down as hysterical and in need of birth control. We can all have similar experiences but every autistic girl/woman has very hyper specific ones that we can all relate to on some level.

I hate that I relate heavily and on an emotional level with the autistic woman experience because it’s made me genuinely sad for my younger self and how it was so obvious but disregarded to be something “poetic” like, “she’s different, quiet, shy, sensitive, emotional.” But the moment I came out of my shell and the autistic traits showed, it’s “weird, creepy, too much, raise your daughter to be a girl and not a tomboy.”

But now it’s like being weird is celebrated so it’s totally fine and I genuinely don’t give a fuck anymore if people think I’m weird. Like I’ve been bullied for it my whole life and it’s inadvertently helped me build a wall around myself but only for assholes. I have good, cool friends now who are just as silly as I am whether they have autism, ADHD, or something else entirely. And they don’t make me feel ashamed for having interests or like I’m too much.

[demegoddess]

How are women who don't wear makeup "pickmes"? A pickme is a woman who does everything for male attention. A woman who doesn't wear makeup is not trying to attract anyone. If anything, women who are obsessed with their appearance are the pickmes, we know you're not doing this for yourselves.

get a grip. take a reading comprehension course. and have a good day.

[weirdloverwilde]

looking at some of the original useage of 'pickme' (on the internet) is crazy. cause the women theyre describing still exist today in tradwives and motherfuckers who think a girl being near a man is cheating but they rarely get called pickmes. instead its women who dont wear makeup or dont like pop music

[ruscha]

i’m gonna need any essays or discussions about the “pickme” “not like other girls” phenomenon thoroughly vetted by ppl who correctly understand the gendered relationship to masculinity before i read them because while there are valid things to say about how the kind of femininity presentation expected of many women in society is also deemed “lesser” “superficial” “childish” etc by men (because this degradation reinforces the gender hierarchy) so it makes sense for young women navigating this relationship to assume that adopting more masculine traits/features will save them from this treatment (it will not, because again, society will not take kindly to you stepping outside your gendered role), i swear to god a lot of discourse on this subject is just shit like “masculine women have it easier than feminine women” which is just blatantly ignoring reality. the reality of millions of women including but not limited to butch lesbians, black women who have been degendered due to misogynoir, trans women who have to navigate a relationship to “socially acceptable femininity” that may not even match their preferred presentation… i know in my heart of hearts that a sizable portion of nominally cis straight gender-conforming women will admit that having to shave their legs and armpits and dress a certain way and eat and exercise a certain way and wear the correct amount of makeup is fucking abysmal and they probably wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t a requirement for like, being treated slightly less shitty by people. what are we doing

[emofrog69]

its the way that choice feminists will hijack any actual feminist rhetoric with “sounds like a pickme” or “wow its like you dont even want me to have fun” we are never getting out of the patriarchy

a pickme is someone who gives in and wants male approval. why would that be someone who is against the patriarchy and says women shouldnt be forced to wear makeup 24/7 or shave their entire bodies daily? why would someone who wants MALE APPROVAL say that??? someone who wants male approval would agree “i shave my entire body daily bc its feminine and society tells me its attractive and i dont analyze my choices ever”

their entire logic is so flawed and doesnt actually stand for anything. “let women do what they want!” wow. how brave of you. im never going to celebrate a woman becoming a stay at home mother, sorry. its her choice, but we need to analyze those choices.

[maia-radfemdu]

they call women who don't wear makeup or get 20 inch nails done pickmes like yeah men LOVE when a woman doesn't practice feminity exactly 😍 pretty sure if we'd start a global no shave movement we'd be called pickmes at first lmao

The way that any girl with her own preferences that doesnt practice weird hyperfemininity gets called a “pickme” is soo strange like Sorry im not acting like a frail victorian lady disgusted by penis and sports. “Any woman that steps outside of her gender role and doesnt wanna sit in a circle weaving baskets with the other maidens is a pickme”- what you sound like