#the whole thing went over like a lead balloon in my brain apparently

[coulsonlives]

It's been a day since I finished the ATLA remake and I'm already over it lol.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Keeping Vigil || Morgan & Eddie

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @specterchasing & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: When Morgan can’t carry her hope, Eddie is there to help. 

CONTAINS: body horror, discussions of death, mortality, decay

After reaching another dead end in her search for answers, Morgan broke down and took an extra long shower to get rid of her smell and wash the rough parts on her body that had been hurt or picked at by bugs. The water pattered on her just right, steadier and softer than rain. When she let it fall into her ear and make the room feel like underwater, she could hold onto the water and nothing else and the aches and cramps faded, and everything was fine. She savored the change in water temperature as it faded from hot to cool as much as the change in the sky from light to dark.

A little later, as she picked at cold fried rice and brains, the waistband on her sweats started to feel a little tight, and when Morgan looked down her coloring had gone another shade of wrong and when she touched her stomach (first in the middle, then all around) she got the sinking feeling she used to once a month: bloating. Maybe it was water damage, maybe it was just that time in the un-life cycle. It didn’t fucking matter, did it?

“Great. First I’m dead, then I’m falling apart and ripped up like a rag doll, and now I’m a dead ripped up balloon doll waiting to pop.” She thought about how she’d announce this latest development to Deirdre when she got home and decided she didn’t want to. So she made some tea, remembered all the chamomile in the world wouldn’t actually calm her and threw it against her studio. 

The mug bounced off the wall. Tea splattered the yard.

Morgan picked it up and holed herself up inside the four little walls where she was supposed to be alone. Maybe if she disappeared in a book or a playlist she could forget about what was happening to her body. Funny how she’d dreamed of feeling the world again every day for the last fourteen months; now she’d try just about anything to go numb and float off again.

As Eddie approached the front door of Morgan’s home, an unexpected sound from the backyard caught his attention. He took a few steps back and looked over the fence in time to see the studio door close. If that’s where Morgan was, it would be pointless to try getting into the main house. Admittedly, tracking her down would be a nonissue if she knew he planned to drop by, but Eddie had a sneaking suspicion she didn’t want visitors in her current condition. Be that as it may, he needed to see her. For all he knew, this might be his last chance.

Eddie reached over the fence’s gate and unlocked it from the other side, immediately re-locking it once inside. Even in his haste, he didn’t want to be the reason something unwanted took an open door as an invitation. Eddie quickly bypassed the garden that usually imbued him with a sense of calmness. Today, all it did was put more space between him and Morgan.

At the studio door, Eddie knocked only to enter without waiting for a response. The second he saw her, his heart fell into his stomach. Morgan, for the first time since meeting her, looked dead.

“I heard about what happened,” Eddie announced. He figured wasting time on small talk would be insulting at this point. “I wish you would’ve told me yourself, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.” As he spoke, he walked further into the studio. “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of people in your corner right now. Is there room for me to throw my hat in the ring?”

Morgan only managed a few minutes of stillness before she heard a knock. She flinched, dreading what she would have to explain to Deirdre, but before she could work up the nerve to answer, Eddie came in. She was so startled she forgot to cover her face. Her blue-purple pallor was growing new colors, black in some places, yellow in others. Somehow, her skin was peeling and shriveled and swollen at once. Her eyes, now clouded like frost on a window, looked smaller than they should and her lids sagged around the empty space. For a woman who would never age, she sure looked like she had outlived her time.

In the brief instant Eddie held the door open, three flies flew in and circled lazily toward her. They knew a good thing when they saw it. She should probably have been more grateful that maggots and fungi hadn’t found her yet, but the only thought she had room for was, Eddie shouldn’t be here.

“W--what? I--” It didn’t really matter how he found out, did it? “I don’t want to be one of those people that puts their bullshit on kids and makes them carry it,” she sighed. “And I don’t...know what I’m going to do about any of this. If I can do anything about this. I went through the books I had, I tried looking through some others and--” Nothing. She slumped back in her corner on the day bed and covered her face with a pillow. Then, feeling ridiculous, tossed it away and settled for pulling her legs up and hiding that way. “You should probably grab some air freshener from the kitchenette,” she mumbled.

Eddie had never seen Morgan look so small before. In the past, her petite frame always seemed like an act of misdirection. When she spoke, the weight of her words commanded attention. Her laugh charmed a sigh of relief from the world around her. Out of everyone Eddie knew, he couldn’t think of a single person he respected more than Morgan Beck. Seeing her this way didn’t change that, it only proved the severity of the situation. It was time for him to start repaying her for everything she’d done.

“Well, this kid would rather help carry your bullshit than let it bury you,” Eddie replied as he took her advice and walked over to the kitchenette. He wanted to tell her he didn’t mind the smell but lying wouldn’t make the situation any better. Eddie pulled the trigger and a clean-linen scented mist mingled with the smell of decay. It would have to do.

“So,” he continued, moving closer to her before taking a seat beside her on the day bed. “Catch me up to speed, I only know the bare minimum.” Eddie didn’t think being told the details would lead them to a solution but that wasn’t why he came here. Other, more capable people would help Morgan in that area. What he wanted to accomplish was simply to make sure she knew she wasn’t alone. Maybe it wasn’t as glamorous of a purpose as finding a cure but believed it to be important all the same. “You woke up and, out of nowhere, you were alive again?”

Morgan grimaced at the hiss of the air freshener. She had suggested it, but smelling it and knowing how little good it would do was another matter. “You might wanna go a little heavier on that,” she deadpanned. “I’m almost a week into this, and whatever is fucking with me the slow, painful way, has a year’s worth of decay to catch up on.” She let her head rest against the wall and closed her eyes. All her physical senses back, and she still had to endure this latest cosmic ‘fuck you’ in complete sobriety. No rest. No relief.

She curled up a little tighter as he sat by her, as if her death-sickness was contagious. “Uh, if you haven’t noticed, I apparently don’t need to be buried. I can decompose all by myself.” She worked his question thoughtfully, trying to find the right words for it. How stupidly excited she was for so little, and how suddenly it was a little too much.

“I wasn’t alive,” she said at last, face still buried in her knees. “No heartbeat. No warmth. I could just...feel again. The bedsheets were cold. And soft. Weirdly soft. And my girlfriend was soft and cold but different, and the carpet was...coarse and thick and plushy...it was like I’d never been on this planet before. Everything was new. The words I had weren’t enough to describe it. I spent a whole two days convincing myself that whatever was happening it wouldn’t be so bad. Some weird town thing we’d have to reverse. But then I got hurt and it took me forever to heal. And then I didn’t heal at all. And I ate, I had so many brains, but my body was shriveling up, turning color, smelling, all that gross stuff that’s not supposed to happen to me if I do everything I’m supposed to. And do you know how it feels, literally feels, to have your body dry up? Or to--” One of the flies landed on her cheek and began exploring the new terrain. Morgan raised her hand and let it, waiting til it reached her hairline where she wasn’t so sensitive. She slapped it dead and left the goo where it was. “Be food for the bugs? Because that’s something I know now. Can’t wait for everything else to go, or for whatever’s keeping me wide awake for the whole horror science show to...decide what comes next.” She didn’t want to die. She wouldn’t be this frustrated if she did. But being nothing but wobbling bones and leather and dust frightened her just as much as oblivion. She didn’t know which she was really supposed to hope for.

Eddie listened as Morgan described the past few days. At first, her condition sounded like a gift. He remembered when she told him how badly she missed being able to experience the world as a living participant. No heartbeat or warmth meant certain sensations were still off limits but, other than that, he imagined those first two days felt pretty damn good. A false sense of security, obviously. He hated this.

Morgan swatted the fly and Eddie’s lips pursed in response. “Hold on,” he announced, standing up to make his second trip to the kitchenette. Facing the counter, he tore a few paper towels from the roll and wetted them in the sink. After wringing out the extra moisture, he carried them back to the daybed and took his seat again. Eddie tentatively reached out and, as gently as he could, washed away the insect’s remains. When his hand lowered, he kept the damp wad of paper in his hand in case another decided to land on her.

“Morgan, do you remember what you said to me about hope, that it’s a choice?” Eddie asked. Of all people, he knew how unqualified he was to preach the importance of hope but he wanted to try. “You also said that to stop believing in the future is to stop believing in existing.” Even if he lacked the experience to explain the importance of looking for good, he knew Morgan didn’t. He could use her own words to help him navigate the situation.

“This isn’t the first time life’s given you its worst,” he said. “Obviously, you can roll over and accept hopelessness. Or, you can do what you do best and tell death to go fuck itself.”

“Yeah, this is an anomaly—so are you. Nothing is written, right? Don’t give up. Not yet.”

There were a lot of words Morgan had spoken in the past that haunted her now. Magic is going to save my life. All I need is to break the curse. Hope is a fucking choice. What was there to hope for when the only thing on the horizon was another shade of suffering? How could she continue believing in existence, when existence seemed to be shutting her down at both ends? Was she supposed to bone-jangle her way downstairs to breakfast every morning? Or be carried on a stretcher in so many pieces, to and fro? Or would the magic take away her mind too, and this was simply a farewell tour she didn’t have a say in? Morgan didn’t see much hope in that. What had all her suffering been for? A year of half a life, and then this?

Morgan scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and said nothing for a while. Then, just peeking over her knees with dead, swollen eyes, she said, “Death comes for everyone, Eddie. That’s what gives life balance. We end. We go...somewhere. Home. Even if it’s not until this planet implodes or gets struck by the right meteor. Everything is change. To stay stuck one way, that’s the biggest waste of what we have.” She shrugged. “But...stars in the fucking sky above…” Her voice drowned with held-in tears. “I couldn’t find anything about this, Eddie. I haven’t figured it out. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to imagine to hope for. And I’m so tired...I am so tired of climbing back up, of fighting the universe for one scrap of good. And right now...I almost wish I could give up. But I don’t even know what to give up on. All of it looks like giving up something right now.”

Eddie knew death came for everyone. Until recently, he clung to that fact with everything he had. Even now, his grip was only a little looser than before. Death, to him, sounded like a release. Morgan was tired, it made sense for her to want rest. A few months ago, Eddie might not have argued that it wasn’t the answer, but now he knew what loss felt like. If Morgan died, a piece of him would too. Ironically enough, the more he cared about someone, the more selfish he became.

“Lots of things that happen in this town don’t have books written about them. That doesn’t make them impossible to handle,” Eddie insisted before adopting a softer tone. “I know you’re tired. If anyone deserves rest, it’s you, and you’ll get it.” Eddie reached out with his free-hand and took hold of Morgan’s. “Like you said, death’s inevitable but it doesn’t have you yet. As long as you’re here, there’s a chance for things to get better. And—and, no, I don’t know what your pain feels like, but I know my own. Most days, getting out of bed is a fucking triumph, but I still do it; for you. For Alfie, for Bex, and Kyle, and everyone else who’s been kind to me. I don’t know what I’m hoping for exactly. Maybe I’m just hoping for hope.” Eddie paused before speaking again. “Think about that scrap of good, are you ready to let it go?” He meant the question genuinely and without pretense. “If you do, there’s no getting it back. No more garden, no more Deirdre, no more laughter, no more anything. Is there really nothing left worth fighting for?”

Morgan hid her face again as it crumpled with grief. But she let Eddie take her hand, and though her fingers were stiff, she squeezed his back. Mina had told her once that life was a curse of its own; Morgan had brushed it off as a flash of witty irony. But it came to her again now: was this living? Was crawling out of one hole only to fall into another what life looked like from the inside? She couldn’t think of a person she knew who wasn’t crawling out of something right now. The difference was only in terms of degree. When she was alive, human-alive, she had coached herself into accepting happiness as a stolen gift, a thing she would be caught red handed with and have to surrender. It would all be okay, because when the curse was over, she could have as much as she wanted and more. She could chase down every bright thing and know that however it turned out, it was fair as anything on earth could be, and she had given her best. It made her dry organs shrivel just a little more to suppose this was the way of all things, not just a thirty-nine-year blip of existence.

And yet there was no better choice before her. It was just like Eddie said. If she tried to will this bullshit to the end, she would be releasing everything she’d fought so hard to hold. And if she surrendered to the thought of an eternity of true living death, it would be much the same. The world struck no natural balance in the course of a life, and in White Crest it arched toward cruelty, and yet there had to be another horizon. These scraps of good had to be enough because they were all she had. And maybe In another week, a month, in a decade, things would be different. Magic always had a key to unlock itself. What was done might someday be undone. (Might, and with so little evidence to make it feel like anything at all.) She tried to imagine it, coming out of a stupor like sleeping beauty, kissing her own skin for holding its shape and keeping her here just enough to try and make a better balance in the world, kissing Deirdre, and the cats, and having every fresh memory from those early days to guide her toward contentment. She couldn’t hold the image very long. It burnt in flashes. Somehow, it hurt worse than either path of doom she saw. Morgan nodded and let hope in and sobbed, breaking with the weight of it.

She tried to muffle her cries with her other hand, but it was no good. She shook and soaked her sweatpants with her tears and turned Eddie’s fingers red with her grip. At last she noticed the change in the feel of his hand and let go. “Sorry. I’m...s-sorry. Um.” She wiped her face on her sleeve and tried to look at the boy. “You know you’re...a really kind, brave kid, right? And that’s why we all want you to be more careful? Because we need more of that around. We need you. And I wish you could be there for yourself like you are for me right now.” She heaved another dry sob and scrubbed her face again fighting for composure. It was always harder to show up for yourself, especially when you were alone.

“I’m not--uh, this isn’t because--” She gestured vaguely at the mess of herself. “I mean, you’re right. You’re right and I know you’re right and it’s just--” Kind of wish you weren’t. It would be so much easier if you weren’t. She shook her head, abandoning words in favor of meeting his gaze. What she didn’t know how to say was this: it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, holding out for hope and hoping for its own sake. But Eddie knew dark almost as well as she did; maybe he would know this just by looking at her, too.

When Morgan broke down, Eddie knew he’d struck a chord. He could only hope that meant something good and that he hadn’t made things worse. Her grip on his hand tightened exponentially but the pain barely registered. All he could focus on were her anguished sobs—he wondered how long she’d been trying to swallow them. Despair like that didn’t come to term in an instant. It laid in wait, brewing and accumulating more grievances both big and small until it could no longer be contained. If he had managed to help her rethink the release of death, maybe a release like this one would suffice for now.

“No, no, it’s—” Eddie’s dismissal of Morgan’s apology cut off when she spoke again. His expression slowly relaxed, brows raising in gentle surprise. A few people had called him brave now but he never seemed to get used to it. After spending so much of his life in hiding, he didn’t think he deserved that kind of praise. At the same time, he wanted to believe he was wrong. Eddie smiled sadly at Morgan. “One day, maybe. It’s a work in progress.” He didn’t know what to say about being needed but he tucked the compliment away somewhere he could find it when he lost sight of what mattered.

What she said—or, more accurately, didn’t say next resonated exactly as she expected it to. “It feels impossible, doesn’t it?” Eddie asked before his smile returned. “Kind of like when you’ve been in the dark for so long your eyes adjust to it and suddenly a light comes on and blinds you.” He gingerly rubbed the back of her with his thumb. “We’ll adjust to the light the same as we did the dark, just gotta give ourselves some time.”

Morgan nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Slowly, she unfolded her legs. There wasn’t much of her left to hide, and the second fly was already crawling along her skull. She thought about what Eddie said when it came to the light and the dark, and wondered how long it would take for her vision to get screwed up from so much back and forth that everything hurt. It would have to be a long time from now, wouldn’t it? She would have to make it that way.

After what seemed like a long time she said, “You know, for someone who lumped in hope with the evils of the world, you’re getting pretty good at being hope’s cheerleader.” Then after another silence, “You don’t have to stay with me though, okay? I’m not gonna go off the deep end, or do anything I shouldn’t. Deirdre will probably be home soon anyway.” Time had a way of moving funny when you were miserable, something Eddie was probably familiar with too, but the last thing she wanted him to carry was more worry about her. She nearly reached over to pat his arm, reassure him in a performance of her good ol’ self, but she remembered how she looked and let it fall empty instead. “Thank you though,” she said quietly.

Since Eddie last gave Morgan his opinion on hope, a lot had changed—was still changing. He didn’t find comfort in misery as much as he used to. Now, he understood happiness took a little elbow grease and that brains need to be re-wired every now and then. Some days were harder than others, he didn’t always believe his positive affirmations, but he was trying. For himself and everyone he loved, he was trying.

“When you’re wrong, you’re wrong,” he said with a shrug. “I thought I might as well give your outlook a shot. It’s going pretty okay so far.”

When Morgan next spoke, Eddie considered her carefully. He didn’t want to linger if she needed time to decompress but he also didn’t want to risk leaving too soon. Finally, he said, “Okay, if you’re sure.” Eddie stood up and took a deep breath before turning to face her. “If you need anything, anything at all, call me. I don’t care what time it is. I know it sucks to feel like you’re weighing people down but I love you, Morgan. I like helping you.” He leaned down to wrap his arms loosely around her. “Don’t ever feel like a burden.”

“I love you too, Eddie,” Morgan whispered. “Go on now. Be good and I’ll see you soon.”

Eddie straightened up and walked over to the kitchenette to toss the wadded up paper towels in the trash. Afterwards, he headed for the door. “See you soon,” he said, glancing back at Morgan before taking his leave.

[darkestwolfx]

Hyperspeed - Re-Review #51

So, Scott’s back! He’s obviously been making the most of that vacation time Virgil mentioned, or maybe sorting out things for Tracy Industries? Who knows, choose what you like, but he’s back in blue!

And it’s another high-speed, runaway train (of sorts). He get all the best jobs, doesn’t he?

And hello to you David Tennant (aka Tycho Reeves, billionaire inventor), thank you for joining us in this great episode of TAG looking very like yourself.

Is anyone else getting 10th Doctor vibes? All we need now are his 3D glasses and the look is complete. Really though, they even put him in blue!

So this is the Hypercar - it’s like the next addition to the monorail or the underground (evolved obviously, the underground is redundant by 2060). It’s even faster than FireFlash apparently. That’s saying something.

Now, let’s meet Gertie Bunson - the next annoying reporter to grace TAG with her presence. Really, let’s just stop writing in reporters hey? That’s an idea right there.

“An excited crowds awaits the arrival of the very first Hypercar, which should be here any minute now! Isn’t that right Tycho?”

“Less than a minute in fact. We’ll be pulling to Nightbridge Station in sixteen seconds. Hmm, that’s two seconds early.”

A whole two seconds? To most people, that would go completely unnoticed. Two minutes on the other hand, that we tend to notice. Two seconds? I’m not a clock watcher.

“Here they come now! This is where Tycho and his guest will be arriving- whoa! Wasn’t it supposed to stop?”

Well, if you hadn’t asked that, Gertie, we might never have guessed that was the intention - you know, always try and cover your mistakes.

And then - in very 10th Doctor fashion - Tycho starts rambling on (like all great scientists apparently do) about the size of bugs. Oh, but, did we mention they’re still speeding up? Oopps.

Time to make that call, I think.

John is clearly taking his turn for vacation time now as Grandma’s at the desk doing a spell of monitor duty. At least it keeps her out of the kitchen!

“If anybody can catch up to you it’s us!”

Yep! Now we get to see them try. Love high speed chases me.

“Boys, sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep with an early morning emergency, but these people need help.”

“Time to fly.”

“And I’ll try to work out what has gone wrong with this amazingly brilliant design!”

Sleepy? Wake up as quick as you like, Scott, but ideally before you pilot One, and ideally before the Hypercar crashes. Gosh, really, what has that boy been doing since ‘Long Haul’?

“Closing in on the Hypertube now. Any luck figuring out what’s gone wrong Brains? Brains?”

“Uh, I think your friend may be a tad... starstruck.”

A tad? Brains is literally frozen starting with blinky eyes.

“I’m your number one fan!”

“Well Brains, if you ever want to meet Tycho in person, we better to figure out how to stop his car.”

And then Brains does the sciency bit with a whole lot of praise thrown in. It’s like the opposite of an episode featuring Langstrom Fischler, no negative vibes here please.

“I’ll be able to rescue you after the hypercar makes a water landing.”

“No!

“Absolutely not! We’re travelling in a vacuum.”

“Hitting the atmosphere at mach eight would be like-”

“-slamming into a brick wall.”

Nice try, Scott, but it seems like you’re on delivery boy duty. I love Brains and Tycho finishing each other’s sentences.

I can’t believe this screenshot is like nowhere over the internet! Seriously Gertie being blown away by Thunderbird One’s landing due to her own stupidity is absolutely class entertainment.

“We’ve been told to evacuate the platform as Thunderbird One lands, but we’re not gonna miss a chance to bring you this thrilling live shot of- whoa! Let’s move back a bit shall we?”

It’s like Ned Cook (TOS) reincarnated. Or maybe he finally married, or had a sister we never knew about.

He looks so happy! Honestly though, I would too if I could have a friend like mini-MAX. I want one.

“If you check your sash, you’ll find a new tool of your own.”

“Thanks Brains, but what does it- Whoa!”

“Meet Mini-MAX.”

“Brains, you always surprise me.”

“Just one question. How do you expect your hypercar to catch up with Tycho���s?

“I don’t expect to catch them. I expect them to catch me.”

“I’ve begun to question the merits of this plan!”

You and me both Tycho. I know Scott lives for a bit of speed and danger but this is a new one. 

“You must go faster Scott!”

“Kinda already knew that Brains.”

Tycho is a smart man. I would have strapped in as well.

“Good job! How did you make it go faster?”

“I’m not exactly sure.”

“I’ll try and figure out what you and Mini-MAX did. It may lead us to the problem.”

Now look at Mini-MAX holding on for dear life!

Good idea Brains! Let’s check in with Tycho and the others in their Hypercar, shall we?

“Bet you didn’t know you’d be getting a demonstration of our Collision Protection System, ey?”

“I feel like a balloon animal.”

Where as I saw this, and instantly my brain went;

It’s the Michelin Man!

No, seriously, it is, and he says hello;

And during these testing times, there’s something for everyone. You can join his lockdown running classes;

Or something steadier and calmer, like his yoga classes;

Feel the zen!

Or there’s even dancing classes!

P.S. Wait until we get to the end of the review, I swear this is where Brains gets his moves from. You’ll see, trust me. (And if you’re new to the Re-Review Series, my brains wonders a lot so... and if you’re not new to it, you should have expected to see this).

Right, back to impending doom;

“Tycho, so nice to finally meet you! Virtually at least.”

“Oh, impressive invention!”

It’s like Brains gets to achieve his dream meeting! That little mechanical hand is never getting washed.

Mini-MAX is great, really, I want one, but I’m with Scott here;

“Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt but uh, imminent doom?”

I called that!

“Right.”

“RAD.”

“Tycho’s design appears to be perfect. So the problem must have been a manufacturing error when the car was built.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing. If the throttle is working, one of the plasma plugs must have machined improperly.

“Oh no.”

“Ah, a couple of bad plasma plugs should be pretty easy to fix.”

You obviously weren’t listening to Brains crucial “oh no” there Scott.

“Fixing them is the easy part, but reaching them is next to impossible.”

“The plasma plug assembly can only be accessed from outside the car. Specifically, underneath it.”

“Got ya.”

I love Mini-MAX clipping Scott to the train. I would trust Mini-MAX over my own self any day.

“Looks like a fun place to hang out.”

What is it with Scott and ‘hanging’ out? This does not look like my idea of fun, thank you very much. I would like to keep myself upright, and maybe in one of those comfy seats feeling like a balloon animal. That sounds appealing whilst the world falls apart... if you need me, I’ll be waiting out with the collision protection system and the Michelin Man.

Joke, I’ll be here working and writing the Re-Reviews! I would now like a balloon animal though...

“Dropping even a single bolt would be catastrophic!”

“I don’t think that’s going to be hard to remember Brains!”

At least we’ve graduated from ‘Runaway’ where Brains insisted Scott take notes. That would be a little impossible here, after all. The notepad would be blown away!

Borrowed just a few of Virgil’s power tools there, did you Scott? Best return them all in once piece or he might ruin your portrait too. I know he got Tycho’s from the control station, but I couldn’t resist the chance to reference ‘Inferno’ here. Whist we’re on the note of references, here’s another ’Brink of Death’ (TOS) situation.

I love our contest winners;

“That was Grandpa. He loves to go fast.”

“I do!”

“And you don’t?”

“Honestly, we’re just lucky I have thrown up yet.”

I’m with Tycho this time. Oh seems appropriate. I love that we’re breaking stereotypes here (something TAG have done pretty well at in general). You don’t have to be young to love a bit of speed.

“I probably want to replace these one at a time then huh?”

“Yes, and very carefully.”

Oh, uh, what were you saying about remembering? First the drill nearly went down and then- wait, down goes the plasma plug!

“Nice catch!”

Mini-MAX to the rescue.

“One more twist and we’ll finally be able to slow- down!”

Or not. You just had to say it.

I think Brains should have got on the phone to EOS - she knows all about hacking high-speed methods of transportation.

“Why would the speed increase at random like that! If the controls aren’t making the car go faster, then the only way it could be accelerating is... oh no! Tycho, one of your formulas has a small error.”

“Impossible! My calculations were perfect.”

“I thought so too.”

“No! That should be metres per second squared! Oh how could I be so foolish!”

“Even genius’ make mistakes.”

There goes that Scott Tracy trait of forgiveness and acceptance again. I do love it when they show moments like this. Of all the brothers, Scott is the best at staying calm and talking to people, reassuring them that things aren’t always black and white. These scenes were always building towards something, and we’re going to see the real test in the next episode. To do a job like this you have to be selfless, but Scott is almost self-sacrificing (well, the whole family is in a sense), but remember with Kat, for example, Scott had no reason to stay, but he did. It’s just him, and this is an excellent follow through.

“Yes, but my mistake is going to destroy us all! There’s no way for us to stop.”

“Let’s just take a breath and slow down so we can think this through.”

“Slow down...”

“Yeah, that’s the idea.”

“No, slow down! We don’t have to stop the car we just need to be in a slower vehicle that won’t vaporize when it’s hits the atmosphere! Oh, you’re a genius! Right the vehicle will need to be fast enough to reach us with enough thrust to slow down in time.”

“Brains, we need Thunderbird Four inside the Hypertube ASAP. And put it in there backwards.”

The man with a plan is on a roll again!

Cut back to Gertie Bunson reporting again, and a nice little reconstruction on Thunderbird Four’s traditional launch sequence, because Thunderbird Four has arrived! A submersible out of water.

And now we go from Scott Photo Central to squid screen time!

“Um, are we sure this is a good idea?”

Maybe not Gordon, but let’s launch before anyone answers you.

“Bad idea!”

And then you can answer yourself! Great times.

“You’re losing speed, Gordon!”

“Don’t worry, Brains. If I can see it, I can catch it.”

You know, I am jealous of how good an aim every member of this family has. I am rubbish at catch.

“Welcome aboard.”

Gordon steadying Scott is like brilliant. We need more moments of these two for sure.

“It’s working. We’re slowing down.”

“But will it be enough?”

And there go the hypercars... exploding.

“Virgil, they’re loading into Thunderbird Four, get ready to show them a way out.”

“FAB.”

And because you’ve got to get a daily dose of Virgil in there;

“Let’s hope you guys make a slower, gentler exit.”

“Hey, I’m nothing if not gentle! Brace for impact!”

We’ll ignore the oxymoron there.

“We made it! We didn’t burn up!”

Yeah, just give away to the poor civilians that you weren’t expecting to survive, Gordon. That’s really reassuring.

“Did you guys have a plan for how to land this thing?”

It’s Gordon and Virgil, Scott. There’s always a plan. Even if it’s a little improvised or thrown together at the last minute.

“Um, kinda.”

Just another mid-air catch of Thunderbird Four, nothing special to see here, folks.

Who am I kidding? Bring in the applause! We’ve seen this move in ‘Extraction’ and ‘Clean Sweep’ and Virgil never gets it wrong. Takes talent.

“Everyone ok?”

“Can we do that again!”

“No thanks.”

Yeah, I’m with Tycho again. Just watching it made my head spin.

“Big thanks to International Rescue for saving our lives.”

“And for the thrill of a lifetime.”

Nice to get a thank you in there for once.

More high fives! Is there a gif set of the TAG high fives yet? Keep them coming I like them. Nice happy moments, high fives. Brains has basically just got his dream come true!

Of this I have no wordable description, and it looks like Grandma doesn’t either.

Do you see?

Look at Mini-MAX! He’s like a robot version of a dog. I really want one, and I’m sad we never see him again! Bye Mini-MAX!

“I did - finally - get you to London.”

“Thanks, but um... how are we getting back to Tokyo?”

“Oh... yes, uh... Scott?”

Yeah, just turn to our ideas man. He’ll always come up with something. It’s a little like TOS ‘Cry Wolf’ here, where Scott lets Tony and Bob ride in Thunderbird One. He’s a crowd pleaser, this one.

“Want to go for a ride?”

“Wow!”

“Oh um, that would be great I guess.”

“Now, tell me about those engines.”

That smile of Tycho’s as they walk to Thunderbird One - goodness I love how much is contained in that single expression.

Oh, but don’t forget Gertie! Desperately trying to get her scoop - very Ned Cook. Maybe she’s his daughter? I don’t think I entertained that possibility earlier...

“Scott Tracy, any chance we can get a quick interview?”

*Engines start... deliberately*

“You know what? Nevermind. Another time. Maybe.”

What gave it away that he didn’t want to talk to you?

This ending scene is one of my favourite, little sweet moments. After an epic rescue like that, this was needed.

Well, let’s look to Monday for the final episode of Series 2! I can’t believe we’ve already made it this far. We can tell something is coming though - the end credit music had a slight variant to it. The musical score in this series really was on point.

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

A love like silk// Han Jisung pt.12

Bad boy!Jisung

Genre: Angst/ Fluff Summary: Silk, one of the softest fabrics on the planet. It’s breathable and comfortable. Just like how he was to you. He gave you space to breath. He always made sure you were okay. Yet why, do people say he’s bad to you? He gave you a love that’s soft and tender. A love that involves soft touches, tight hugs for comfort and sweet talk, smooth like silk. A/n: This one is long. Word count: 6k Warnings: Swearing, FLUFF

Jisung swung the door of the dorm open and slammed it close after he had entered. Tears were streaming down his face as he was dealing with his heart that was broken by Y/n. The scene was printed in his brain and Jisung felt like it was stuck on replay.

Chan heard somebody enter and went to see who it was. “Oh, Jisung! Welcome home- are you crying?” Chan asked surprised when he noticed Jisung’s tear-stained cheeks. “Did something happen at the party? Did you see Y/n?” Chan asked carefully as he approached his younger friend.

Jisung’s lip started trembling, the scene flashing in front of his eyes as he tried to tell Chan what happened. “Y/n…Jaemin…kissed,” was all Jisung could make out as he started to break down again. Jisung’s body slid down the door as he hid his face in between his knees. Chan stood perplexed in front of Jisung, kneeling down himself to comfort him.

Chan’s mind filled with anger and heated thoughts as he forced Jisung on his feet to lead him to his bed. Chan couldn’t believe that Y/n could do this to Jisung. He thought she loved him. He felt betrayed. ‘Jisung must feel betrayed as well.’ Chan thought to himself.

He jumped up in surprise once again, when Chan hears the door bust open once again. He ran out the bedroom to see what was going on. “Yasmin?” Chan exclaimed confused. She turned to Chan with big teary eyes. “What happened?” Chan asked as he helped her sit down, he rubbed her back soothingly as he noticed that she, just like Jisung had been crying.

‘What the hell is going on today?’ He thought to himself.

Not much later, Woojin busted through the door as well, scaring Chan for the last time that night, which you could easily call morning already. Woojin was panting as he took off his shoes. Chan gave Woojin a look and received one from his friend which said ‘I’ll tell you later’, but later seemed to arrive sooner than Woojin thought when Yasmin started to ramble.

“…I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what made our conversation escalate so badly. Y/n and I never fight and I can assure you this, this might be the worst fight I ever had in my life!” Yasmin exclaimed. Chan pushed a cup of water in her hands as he listened to her.

“I still don’t get it, Woojin?” Yasmina added, still confused.

“Apparently at the party, Y/n picked a fight and it escalated badly. They fought outside at the party and well, Yasmin left angry as Y/n said bad things to her. I don’t know what was said, but it was bad since Yasmin ended up in this state.” Woojin whispered.

“What is going on with Y/n? This isn’t like her.” Chan muttered to herself. “I even saw her the whole evening with Jaemin. This kid really has changed her! I knew he was no good!” Yasmin yelled.

“He also kissed her.” Chan would tell her. “Really? What the fuck! Why are you telling me that though? I don’t care who the fuck she exchanges saliva with!” Yasmin yelled in disgust. “I know, but I just wanted you to know that Jisung saw it.” Chan stated obviously. “So? Why would he care?” She asked confused.

“Because I love her.”  A small voice croaked.

The three looked over their shoulder to see a crying Jisung standing in the doorway of his bedroom to the living room where they were sitting.

“Y-you what?” Yasmin stuttered in shock. 

She stood up to take a good look at Jisung to see if he wasn’t lying. She saw his teary puffy eyes. She stared at him to see no emotion to be found, but sadness. She saw his genuine feeling and that his heart was broken.

When Jisung let another tear roll down his cheek, Yasmin ran to his side to hug him. He cried on her shoulder as he held her tight. “I’m so sorry Jisung. I never knew, I’m so confused.” Yasmin whispered. “It’s a long story and we will explain another time.” Chan assured her.

It’s been a few days and the weekend were now over. And Jisung had spend the rest of his weekend laying in his bed, refusing to eat or drink as well. His friends let him be, knowing he needed time for himself.

Chan and Woojin had convinced Jisung to go to school, even though Jisung probably would break down in tears as soon as he would have a glimpse of Y/n. At school he tried to avoid her as much as possible. Classes that they shared; he’d skip. He knew her schedule so he knew when to avoid her.

Y/n knew Jisung was avoiding her, because the places where she usually would see him, she didn’t. She didn’t want to admit that she wanted to see him, but she did. She kind of missed him and she had no idea why he was avoiding her. She would sit in her seat, looking at the empty spot besides her where Jisung was supposed to sit.

Through the school halls were people already whispering about Y/n and Jisung.

‘I heard Y/n was making out with Na Jaemin at the party last Saturday.’ ‘I know right, but isn’t he like her boyfriend?’ ‘Does that mean Jisung is single again?’ ‘I’m so going to take my shot and ask him out.’ ‘You totally should, he should see that you’re so much better than that slut.’ ‘I know right? I thought she liked him.’ ‘I guess she only used him, fucking bitch.’

Y/n quickly walked away after hearing their harsh whispers. As she hurried herself through the hallways, she passed Jisung without knowing. He stared at her as she walked by, thinking she avoided him after what happened Saturday.

‘I guess, she’s really with Jaemin then.’ He whispered to himself. He pushed himself off the lockers and stumbled his way outside. In the meantime, as he walked around, girls were throwing themselves onto him, but he gave them no reaction.

Every girl who asked him out or tried to confess her feelings to him, kept pushing themselves onto so they could date or get his attention. They all assumed he was single and ready to mingle. Yes, he was single, but he didn’t want to be with anyone other than Y/n.

Jisung didn’t care that the girl was surrounding him still when he was outside. A crashing sound of shattering glass caught his attention. He looked up to see what happened, only to see Y/n behind the crowd of girls. He saw her being pushed around and fall to the ground. He stopped zoning out and pushed his way through the girls to get to Y/n.

He stopped right in front of her, noticing her arm was bleeding and glass surrounding it. He heard the girls who pushed Y/n to the ground apologise frantically. 

Jisung pushed them away, receiving a surprised look from Y/n.

“Jisung?” She asked.

He didn’t answer her and picked her up bridal style. He heard her stutter but ignore her as he hurried her to the hospital.

“Jisung put me down, I can walk.”

She looked up to him and stared at his features. Jisung had a worried, but emotionless look on his face. She caught him taking glances at her every now and then, making her heart flutter. She decided not to fight him right now, knowing he won’t put her down anyway. So, she rested her face in the crook of his neck as he hurried her to the hospital.

Jisung’s heart was racing, not only because he has been running with Y/n in his arms, gathering all his strength to carry her all the way, but he also felt like he had everything he needed right now. He had her in his arms, unfortunately to take her to the hospital.

When the two arrived, Jisung put Y/n down in a wheelchair and went to get someone to take care of her arm. Y/n sat quietly as her eyes followed Jisung’s movements. Her eyes still followed his figure as she was taken away by a nurse to get her arm medically treated.

“Can’t he come?” “I’m sorry dear, your boyfriend has to wait, he might panic when the doctor will treat you…” The nurse kindly explained as she kept rambling on. Y/n’s mind was drifting off as she spoke, wondering if Jisung was waiting as impatiently to see her again as she was for him.

After an hour or so, Y/n was done getting the glass removed from her arm and getting stitches. She wasn’t allowed to go home yet though, so she was put in a bedroom. “Just stay here, after the medicines have worked off, you will be sent home with some new medications.” The doctor states before he left her room.

Y/n sighed as she laid back down. The bandage that was wrapped around her arm made it difficult to get comfortable in her hospital bed. “Young man, you’re now allowed to see her.” Y/n heard the doctor say to who she assumed was Jisung.

He peeked his head through the doorway, to check if she was looking, which she was. Making him pull his face away from her sight in what seemed like a millisecond. Jisung took a deep breath and gathered all his courage before he walked inside the room. He shot her a small smile as he held a teddy bear, a ‘get well soon’ balloon and what seemed like a pastry in his hands as he did. She returned the smile as he walked closer to her.

“These are for you.” He muttered kind of shyly whilst he set the items in front of her. “You bought these for me?” She asked surprised. “Who else am I visiting then?” Jisung chuckled, making her let out a small laugh as well.

Jisung sat at the end of the bed as they stayed in silence. She was happily petting the bear Jisung got her, until Jisung broke the silence.

“You’re an unlucky thing, aren’t you?” He teased, trying to lighten the mood. Y/n chuckled, but then she suddenly remembered what had happened the past few weeks. She felt confused and honestly didn’t wanted to be confronted by him.

“How did this happen-“ “Jisung, I really appreciate it that you brought me here, even though I could’ve walked myself, but I think you should go.” She whispered. “No.” Jisung simply replied. “No? What do you mean no?” “I’m not leaving.” Jisung states as he laid down at her feet onto his back. “Jisung, please just leave-“ “No! I know this all happened because of me and I want to make it up to you! I know I’m the last person you probably want to see right now, but I know I have to. I treated you like shit and I made the biggest mistake in my life as I did that.” Jisung tried not to yell as his emotions overwhelmed him.

Y/n looked away from him as he started to stare. She tried to focus her gaze outside, even though she wanted to look at him so badly. Jisung noticed her uncomfortable state and scraped his throat.

It was time.

“Y/n, I know you probably hate me and that the following thing I might say might now make sense at all, but… I love you.” He confesses as he sat up straight. Y/n turned to him, with a shocked expression on her face. 

‘Did he just…’

“The past few weeks I’ve been so confused with my feelings and I outed them in the worst way possible. I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven by you, but I just want you for myself. Only me. Just me. I was stuck in between my brain and heart. My brain saying, I should think about what others already think of me and just stick with it, but my heart was just in need for someone like you and I felt overwhelmed. I was so used to be someone who others told me to be, that I got scared when I got to be myself around you.” Jisung’s confession left Y/n less confused. 

Everything made sense: Chan asking her to be gentle and considerate of his feelings was one of the things. She mentally facepalmed herself for not noticing, but she just never thought that Jisung could like her.

“I wondered why you never saw how much I like you. Why you couldn’t see how much I love you.” Jisung says next as if he read her mind.

“You’re my everything and I know I don’t show it, but trust me you’re my world. I’m so lost and in pain when I’m without you. I beat myself up for every time I mistreated you. You should be handles with care and tenderness, as if you were the most valuable and expensive thing in the world. Everything should’ve gone softly and smoothly, like the silk dress you wore. Fuck, you looked so gorgeous.” Jisung chuckled at his own confession. Clearing his throat right after in embarrassment when he saw her chuckle as well.

“Y/n,” Jisung started as he moved himself closer to her, “you’re the reason why I want to become a better version of myself. I think Chan might has told you already about how we got our image, but I can assure you, you bring out the best of me and I really love you for that. You acted like I was just an ordinary person, when you knew what image I have, but I guess it’s too late now for me.” Jisung sadly dropped his gaze to the floor.

Y/n understood why Jisung felt so confused, thinking back about what Chan has told her and Jisung’s mom had admitted. She always knew Jisung wasn’t a bad guy, he was just lost. Like he was strayed from his real self.

She wanted to hate him. For everything he has done or said to her, but she couldn’t. She just simply couldn’t. She remembered the good times she had with him and wanted to focus on that instead on his flaw, like the rest of the world seemed to do.

Suddenly in the middle of her thoughts, she remembered Jaemin and how Jisung totally saw her making out with his ‘enemy’.

“Jaemin and I aren’t together.” She blurted out. It was now Jisung’s turn to look at the other in confusion. “What?” “Jaemin and I aren’t together. You said it was too late. It isn’t Sungie.” Jisung felt his heart skip a beat at the nickname he hadn’t heard in ages. “But-“ He began, but was cut off by her. “We never were together if we’re speaking of a romantic relationship. We are just friends Jisung.” She tried to assure him. Jisung’s eyes were filled with hope for just a second. “Why did you kiss him then? Why did you skip classes to be with him? Why did you even meet and hang out with him?” Jisung whispered sadly as he looked at her with watery eyes, feeling his heart ache.

“Yes, I did meet Jaemin at a party, we talked and he told me about his ex. He fucked their relationship up and wanted her back, but she was in a relationship with someone else already, so he asked me to fake-date him so he could make her jealous so he could at least talk to her. It might doesn’t make sense when I explain it like this, but trust me it does.” Y/n tried to let out a chuckle, to lighten the mood, but it didn’t help. So, she cleared her throat and continued.

“We had to make it believable and since he a ‘bad guy’ as well, I had to skip classes. The teachers thought I was visiting the hospital for mental health appointments, which Jaemin did take me to every now and then, but that’s not the point. Last Saturday, at the party. She was there too, Jae’s ex. She had texted him before that she didn’t believe that we were together, so we had to make it more realistic and kiss in front of everybody. It didn’t mean anything I swear.”

“You didn’t need to explain everything, but I’m kind of glad you did.” Jisung sighed as he leaned his body on his arms as he looked at her.

“The thing is, as I was fake-dating Jaemin, I talked to him a lot and I realised that I really love you too.” Y/n confessed softly. She looked at Jisung who was frozen in his spot as if he was paused in real life. “Jisung?” Y/n waved her hand in front of his face, trying to get any reaction or life out of him.

“Sungie, please say something-“

Y/n was cut of by Jisung’s lips crashing on hers. Both of their hearts racing in their chest as adrenaline rushed through their body whilst they shared their first kiss with one another. Jisung carefully held her by her lower back as his lips attacked hers, trying to be careful with her healing arm.

When he pulled away, they stayed centimetres from each other, staring at each other’s lips and then their eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.” He laughed softly.

She giggled slightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, placing her forehead against his in progress. “I really love you Jisung.” She whispered, their lips almost touching again whilst they stare in each other’s eyes. His eyes were now filled with tears of happiness and they couldn’t help, but fall from his face.

“Be my girlfriend then.” He tried to act cool, but his voice crack made the both of them crack up as well. “I’d love to be.” She whispered before connecting their lips again.

After what seemed like ten seconds, which in reality was fifteen minutes of kissing, they suddenly heard someone clear his throat behind near them. They looked up to see the doctor awkwardly standing there, making Y/n push Jisung off her and him falling off in progress.

“You’re allowed to go home, here are your medications, which are painkillers. They should be taken with water, if you have further question you can always contact me.” He informed, giving Y/n a small box, before he left.

“You’re a free woman again, sweet cheeks.” Jisung joked whilst poking her cheek, making her heart flutter at the nickname she as well hadn’t heard in ages.

“Let’s go home then.” She suggested as she climbed out of her big bed. “No, let’s go somewhere else first.” Jisung smirked before he took her good hand and dragged her with him, her being a giggling mess behind him. Loving the fact that he was her boyfriend now.

It was later in the afternoon already; school had finished so it was no use to go back. Jisung held her hand tightly as he led her to their usual café. The barista shot hem a smile, but looked quite worried when she saw the bandaged arm of Y/n’s. She didn’t ask what happened and just took their order.

He sat her down at the best spot at the café, a view out over the city as they sat next to the window. Y/n let out a laugh as Jisung had ordered two cheesecakes and some drinks. He also had a sandwich that they could share.

She adored him as Jisung savoured the cheesecake, bite for bite.

“Why did you take me here?” Y/n asked him, making Jisung look up from his cheesecake, whilst he had a mouthful of it, making her laugh. “I wasn’t going to let you eat gross hospital food, the pastry I bought you was the least nasty thing I could find.” Jisung laughed. “Hospital food isn’t that bad-“ “Just eat your cake woman or I will!” Jisung gushed playfully.

Jisung scooped some cake from her plate and positioned the fork in front of her lips.  She was taken back by his action but accepted his offer to feed her.

After they finished their food and drinks. Once again, he took her by the hand and dragged her through the city. They went to an arcade and Jisung had won many prices for her, obviously carrying them for her as well, since she was injured.

“Jisung, I can carry some of them.” She would argue as Jisung refused to let her hold anything. He smirked to himself as he freed one hand from carrying the plushies he was holding. “Hold this.” Jisung smirked as he stuck out his hand for her to hold. She laughed warmly before taking his hand. She saw him smile to himself and gathered her courage to kiss his cheek out of nowhere, taking Jisung by surprise, making him almost drop everything. Y/n laughed again when Jisung started to stutter, trying to say something to her.

“Dang it woman, you make me a mess.”

After hours of fun, Jisung had taken her to her place and they were now relaxing on her bed. Her head was rested on his chest, her injured arm laying on his tummy whilst his arms were secure around her.

His hands were brushing her hair as they laid in silence. She looked up to him as he stared at her ceiling. He thought back when he climbed up her balcony to try and talk to her, catching her stare at the very same ceiling at the same spot as well.

“Thank you for today.” Y/n whispered as she kissed his cheek for the umpteenth time that day. He looked down at her and shot her a warm smile. He brought her closer to him and hugged her tight. “You’re welcome, I had to. I wanted to make it up to you and this was a start.” He whispered back. “You didn’t have to do all of this. I forgive you. The guys, well mostly Chan, had talked to me about you and the situation that was on going and I understand. I even talked to your parents at some point.” “You did?” He asked surprised. “Yeah, I was babysitting Hyunsun-“ “Wait what-“ “Stop interrupting me!” “I- okay sorry, go on then my love.” Jisung laughed, shooting her a wink as well. “Anyways,” Y/n tried to calm herself down from laughing before she continued.

“Your cousin got hurt so I brought him home and your mother told me she recognises me from a picture that you had in your room-“ “Oh my gosh she did.” Jisung hid his face in her hair in embarrassment, making her giggle. “It was sweet. She was very nice, she asked me things about you, like how you were doing at school and how we met.” “She could’ve asked me if she wanted to know.” Jisung muttered, thinking she wouldn’t hear it. She moved her face a bit away from him so she could look at him properly before she started talking. “They really miss you. She says she regrets it.” Y/n whispered. 

“Let’s not talk about this right now, I just want to enjoy your company. I’ve waited way too long to hold you in my arms.” Jisung planted a kiss on forehead as he laid back down, pulling her down with him.

Y/n opened her eyes and realised that she and Jisung felt asleep after their fun day. There was a blanket slightly draped over her. ‘He must has put it over me.’ She thought as she admired Jisung’s sleeping state, in a non-creepy way.

Y/n was scared out of her mind, when Jisung opened his eyes and smothered her in a hug. “My sweet, sweet love.” He muttered into her hair, making her giggle. “Good morning to you too Sungie.” “I wish I could wake up like this for the rest of my life.” Jisung murmured against your skin as he planted kisses on her face.

“What do you want to do today?” Jisung asked. “Jisung we have school in an hour-“ “Oh shit!”

Days has gone by and they were now officially dating. At first Y/n wasn’t sure to hold his hand or not, but Jisung felt like it has been too long and he wanted everybody to know that she was finally and officially his.

People were staring at the two of them, showing that they had no lives. Especially when they kept asking Y/n details about her relationship with Jisung during classes. Y/n decided to ignore them and focus notes that the teacher was giving.

Felix and Jeongin had heard from all the whispers that Y/n and Jisung were, finally, dating. And they wanted to see it for themselves. They walked past the canteen to see if they were there, even though they knew they were probably outside. Which they were.

The two saw the couple alone at a table, having lunch together whilst smiling. They were happy for them, but also confused since they didn’t know what the hell happened for the two to get together. They didn’t care, they were just happy that they finally got to be together and to share that news with the others: Felix sneakily took a picture and send it to his chat where the other guys were in as well.

As Jisung and Y/n were laughing heard Jisung his phone notification. He opened the chat to see a stalker-y picture of him and his girlfriend. He showed Y/n who only chuckles whilst Jisung replied with the words ‘Fucking stalker’.

“Are you coming over this weekend? I thought we could be having some quality time together, to make more joyful memories we could remember instead of the ones we have of each other at the moment.” Y/n suggested. “I’d love to, what do you want to do?” He replied. “Well, we kind of have to finish our English project, since the deadline is next Wednesday. We could finish that and just relax at my place?” 

“So, you’re suggesting Netflix and Chill?” Jisung smirked whilst wiggling his eyebrows. Y/n playfully threw a piece of lettuce that was in between her sandwich towards her boyfriend, making him laugh as well. “You perv, you’re like when I met you for the first time again.” Y/n snickered, whilst she cleaned up the mess she made. “And how’s that?” “Flirty.” She replied whilst shooting him a sly smirk. “Of course, I am. I have to flirt with my girlfriend to show her that I love her!” 

“Oh my gosh.” Was everything she could say as her cheesy boyfriend tried to kiss her.

Y/n stood up from the couch to open the door that just was knocked on, but before she could even open it her dad rushed in front of her and opened the door instead of Y/n, revealing Jisung who stood nervously in front of the doorway with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“Hello Jisung.” Y/n’s dad grunted in a deep ‘intimidating’ voice. Y/n facepalmed herself whilst she laughed quickly at her dad. Jisung swallowed his nervousness loudly as he stuck out his hand for Y/n’s dad to shake. The adult man started to laugh and pulled Jisung in a hug. 

“I scared you, didn’t I?” He laughed, turning around to look at his daughter in amusement. 

“Honey, let the poor guy alone. He’s not going to want to come back again if you keep going.” Y/n mother scoffed as she pulled her husband away from the young boy.

He quickly fixed his hair before he handed Y/n the flowers he was holding. “Are those for me?” Y/n asked him with a smile, he nodded his head in respond, feeling slightly awkward since her parents were standing right behind her, staring at his actions. “Honey we should go, let’s leave them be.” Her mother says before dragging her husband away. “We’ll be outside!” Her mother added, pushing her husband with a struggle away from the scene. “Alright!” Y/n yelled after them.

Jisung and Y/n had been working on their English project, which had turned out to be music related. They were going to make a song with only English lyrics Not only would they do that, they would make a song where mental health under the youth was the topic and the centre of their music. With the music they wanted to help people with these problems or at least try to when they listen to the music they had produced.

Jisung had offered to use some samples he had already made or found on SoundCloud for the music. They would make the lyrics together and Y/n would make a PowerPoint presentation to complete it.

Jisung let Y/n listen to the music he had made and to say that she was impressed was an understatement. “Jisung! This sounds amazing! Did you really make this?” She asked in admiration. “I did, but Chan and Changbin were producers of it as well.” He replied, his cheeks turning red by the flattering compliment. “You guys really should make more music and put it out there! I’m sure you guys would be great in the music industry!” She encouraged whilst hugging her boyfriend. “You really think so?” Jisung looked at her to see if she was somewhat lying, but he only could see a genuine smile and spark in her eyes.

“Chan talked with us the other day about changing our name form SKZ to Stray Kids. He wanted us to have a new start if we ever wanted to continue with music-“ “That sounds amazing! Stray Kids! It has a nice ring to it! I love it! You really should do it.” Y/n squealed enthusiastically. “I’ll talk to Chan about it.” Jisung laughed.

“By the way, we’ve been working for a while and we’re almost done. Do you want something to eat? It’s almost eight.” Y/n asked whilst standing up. “I’ll make some food, you sit down. I’ll be back.” Jisung quickly replied as he pushed his girlfriend back on the couch, before he walks towards the kitchen. “Wait, do you know where we keep what?” Y/n asked laughing whilst he made his way to the kitchen. “I’ll figure it out! Don’t worry babe!” He winked at her before he disappeared into the kitchen, receiving a little squeal from her, making him laugh right after.

After Jisung had found the things he needed, he started cooking. He was lost eventually in his own world and started to sing along with the song that was stuck in his head on replay: half moon by Dean. Jisung kept on singing as Y/n’s dad walked into the kitchen to get some drinks for his wife and himself. He stopped his actions and started to listen to the young boy singing and he had an amazing idea.

“Jisung, my son. I didn’t know you could sing like that.” Y/n’s dad praised, making Jisung jump in surprise, dropping his spatula in process. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just taken back by your voice, it lovely by the way.” “Well thank you sir.” Jisung said politely as he bowed. “Have you ever thought about singing professionally?” The adult man asked, receiving a pair of shocked eyes that were pointed to him. “I-I beg your pardon?” Jisung stuttered. “Wait, let me call my wife and sit down for this. I understand that this might be quite confusing.”

“…and that’s why we wanted to start a musical or creative project. My husband has always been into music so he would love to work with music again to earn his money. You know, something familiar but new.” Y/n’s mother explained whilst chuckling.

Jisung sat across from them, still in shock. Y/n was seated next to him, holding his hand in comfort so he would stop shaking. This would be a dream, but something didn’t feel right yet.

“I would be honoured to take your offer on becoming a professional musician, but I’m actually in this group with these eight other talented boys. We’re used to be called SKZ, but we wanted to change our name to Stray Kids. What I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t think it would be fair, that I have a chance to debut if it isn’t without them. Like our leader tells us: it’s nine or non.” Jisung pointed out, feeling nervous of his chance to be taken away from him.

“That’s amazing! A group of young individuals, making their own music and lyrics! The teamwork must be great!” Y/n’s dad exclaimed in admiration. “It is! We’re all like brothers. We couldn’t live without each other.” Jisung admitted. “Very well, we will send you an email with information about the deal we want to make with you guys, which you can show them. I will give you a chance to show your skills for us to see if you’re ready for the show business. In two weeks, you will come back to our home and show us songs you’ve made. It doesn’t necessarily have to be new, just show us your best works and skills. And we will see after if we have a deal or not.”

Jisung couldn’t believe his ears. He and his friends were given a shot. He stood up and bowed deeply to show his gratefulness. “Thank you so much sir, ma’am. We will not disappoint you. We’ll make sure of it.” Jisung stumbled over his words as he was still trying to process what just happened as he shook Y/n’s parents’ hands.

Her parents stood up and left to the backyard once again, leaving the couple alone. Y/n waved her hand in front of her boyfriend’s face to see if he was still functioning like a normal human being, but no reaction was found.

“Sungie, are you okay?” She asked him softly as she placed her hand on his shoulder, slightly shaking him. He looked at her and suddenly snapped out of his trance. He pulled her roughly into a hug and twirled her around, making her giggle as he did so. “Sungie what-“

“You’re amazing. Ever since I’ve met you, my life has been better. I love you so much. I can’t thank God enough for making us meet. I can’t thank the universe enough- destiny! I-I couldn’t be more thankful for you.” He says with tears in his eyes. “Don’t cry my love. You deserve this.” She whispered as she held him tight.

She heard her boyfriend sigh as he hid his face deeper into the crook of her neck. “I’m glad there’s somebody’s parents who at least support me.” He muttered, making Y/n sigh softly as well. “Give them some time Sungie, they will come around.” She assured him whilst rubbing his bed in comfort.

“One day I hope they will see how good you are. How good you are to me. To others. How many skills you have evolved through time, even the ones they might not even know about yet. You’re such an amazing guy, Jisung. I love you. Trust me they will see that as well soon enough. I promise.” She whispered. Jisung squeezed her body a little tighter in his arms as he let a couple tears fall down as they stood there.

“I love you so much Y/n.” 

“I love you too Jisung. Everything will be alright.”

Y/n kissed the top of Jisung’s head and Jisung felt happy and lucky to have her. He knew she was right. Everything would be alright.

Two more parts!

[zydrateacademy]

Review - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

I never cared much for Zelda. My gaming life began with the likes of Unreal and Quake, later exploring the more intriguing worlds of Morrowind and Final Fantasy X. I was late to the nostalgic craze of Mario, Metroid, Pokemon and the likes of Zelda itself, though my brother would always gush about them as the years went on, while I delved into the Elder Scrolls and Assassin’s Creed franchises as my typical “favorite games” listing. Yet on a fateful evening outing with the family, I found myself with a brief demo of Breath of the Wild. Having a controller in my hand for the first time in probably a decade, I fell in love with the brief ten minutes I had with Link and his new world. It became an immediate Christmas wish, which was immediately fulfilled by my family within weeks of this request. My family was very excited that I wanted to try a Zelda game at all. So let’s get to it.

Link immediately awakes as much of a blank slate as I am, with nothing but amnesia and a female voice (quickly revealed to be Zelda herself) to guide him. We’re given something called a Sheikah Slate which looks like the lore’s own version of a Switch or iPad, and it basically serves as the game’s major MacGuffin that powers most of your abilities, map systems, and everything else. Apparently it’s an important device, as every major character and city leader immediately recognize it. From what I can understand in context, the device was in the possession of a team of champions that apparently died a hundred years prior. They fought against “Calamity Ganon”, the game’s major antagonist. You’re shown the castle off in the distance, but in the beginning Link is stuck on a massive plateau, and you need a wind glider to make it off alive. The old man helping you trades one after you learn the game’s four basic abilities, and the whole plateau serves as the tutorial. We get a stasis ability (for locking objects in a time field, of which you can manipulate its momentum), two different bomb types (one that rolls and a square for better control depending on terrain), a cryogenic that allows you to create ice blocks over water (which I often use to cross rivers) and a magnet (which does exactly what you’d expect it to). Other than the open world Dark Souls-esque combat, they serve as the game’s primary mechanics and they’ll each be used to solve every puzzle and find every chest throughout the game.  Sadly the game neglects to teach you how to cook, and I had to resort to google for that. Seems like it’s an oversight, but it’s one of the more fun mechanics, throwing a bunch of your gatherings in a pot to eventually see what might happen. It encourages experimentation which I enjoy, but if all else fails, throwing five durians or bananas in a pot will go a long way in of itself. The world opens up very quickly, as is usually advertised and mentioned in reviews. You can, in theory, immediately haul towards Calamity Ganon itself if you’re sneaky enough. I’m sure some YouTubers have already cleared it (quick research tells me it can be done in around 40-50 minutes), but more casual players would likely be crushed instantly. Instead you’re given several tasks, such as taming four Divine Beasts, massive mechanical creatures that roam Hyrule. They’re currently controlled by Ganon but you can retake them and they’ll all help during the final fight.

Beyond that, the world is ours. I admit I was feeling a bit dry of this genre after having around a thousand hours on Skyrim and a few hundred on the various Fallout’s, it’s a literal breath of fresh air as I found myself with a very simple goal: nab all the towers. In typical fashion more expected from the likes of Ubisoft, there are several towers to climb that unlock the maps of entire regions. I don’t mind this so much as it helps me get the lay of the land as well as a clear goal on the outset. I’d be very lost without them.

I have never been used to Zelda’s style of gaming but I have taken full advantage of the tools the game has given me. Chief of which being the open world itself. A vast majority of my gameplay has mostly been collecting different armor sets so that I can better face a variety of situations and weather conditions, and there’s a ton of gameplay to be had with that goal alone. In the first town that you are directed towards, there was a fairly expensive (for a starting player) stealth suit. I farmed some enemies which helped a lot in learning how to use a controller again, and the stealth bonus helped me nab some DLC armor which I used for a majority of the early to mid game, dozens of hours due to their helpful bonuses. While looking to afford that initial outfit, I ended up running into a shrine or two, and found a little tree pixie (called Koroks), which help to expand my inventory. The simple goal turned into its own micro-adventure and that’s something I very much appreciate about this game, though that does have a problem attached to it, which I’ll mention later. If my readers know me, then you know I’m a stealth player. Hilariously there is a stealth mechanic on this game with a little noise meter next to the minimap but the game wasn’t really built for it. You can sneak in enemy camps while they sleep and steal their weapons but it’s not always an ideal tactic. There’s no clear indication of detection ranges so if you alert an enemy, all you’ll see is a question mark on their head and you have very little to do with that information. A bush does not conceal me, for example, for the simple fact that it’s not considered a ‘solid object’ by the game’s standards.

That does lead to another problem. The stealth mechanic is part of the alleged “play your way” that doesn’t always work. In terms of exploration, it might. There’s a lot you can do, like plugging balloons on bombs to make them float around, or throw metal weapons at enemies during a lightning storm. There’s so much to do with the world itself, but I found very little purpose in doing any of that except for water cooler conversations of “stuff I managed to do”. You CAN use a leaf weapon to blow the enemy off the cliff, but why bother if you can two-shot them or even use one of your infinite bombs to accomplish the same goal? So why would you want to waste to much time and potential health and food items finagling with the controls which you could just press Y a couple times and make the problem go away? Not that I mind the combat over much. It has the usual fare of dodge, parry, block, flurry and a variety of charge attacks that can be kind of fun to use. I like how enemies often have their own large variety of weapons and that will change how they fight. A lizard with a bow will very often try to keep at a range from me, doing a backflip which causes me to sprint to close the gap, only for them to do it again when I try to take a swing. The same enemy type with a spear however, can be quite aggressive poking me at a range, but staying at just the right distance to piss me off. It’s a lot of fun, though. I was rather afraid of puzzles upon my initial interest of this game, and has been a large part in keeping me away from the franchise. They tend to make me feel stupid if I take too long to solve them, but there is an extra level of “hurrah!” when I manage to figure out exactly what I need to do. There is another complaint attached to this however. As I completed a few dozen shrines (there’s something to the effect of 120 total) I noticed the rest usually require some gimmick to find or unlock. There’s one I’ve yet to discover because I need to be on a platform during a blood moon, the game’s respawn mechanic. The problem is, you can’t force those and they show up roughly every three hours of game time. So I imagine one of my last shrines will be me standing on that damn platform while I watch Youtube or play something else.

There’s also a few puzzles that demand use of the motion controls, which can be incredibly fickle and frustrating. Some are better than others but I found it to be more annoying than anything and I hope they minimize that mechanic in the future. I’ve still had to resort to video guides. The Divine Beasts act as the game’s “major” dungeons preceding a boss fight, and to get to the boss, their entire body acts as a mobile puzzle. One of them has three cylinders in its midsection that can turn four times and there was far too much going on for my brain to handle. I managed to do the flying beast and water elephant on my own (with some pointers from my brother but not to a full on guide’s extent) but some of their innards are just a bit too complex to me. The other complaint that I alluded to earlier, is world density. Yes, there’s a lot of nooks and crannies that will often hide a shrine, treasure, and a variety of weapons and upgrades. It can be profitable at times to simply pick a direction and start running, but this only works to a point. Between my position and my current goal (a tower, an armor piece, a town) there might be a single shrine, maybe two, on my way to find. There was however, a lot of pointless running. I heard a Let’s Player mention that they suspected the world was built first and was just filled it in with things later. Frankly, it shows. Yes it’s cute to find a stump or pile of leaves just slightly out of place, hiding a Korok creature but once you get back to running there’s a lot of open plains, fields, and vertical mountains to climb with very little to do in between and nothing to show for it except a padded hour count.  There was some controversy over the durability of weapons. I barely had much of a problem with it. Jim Sterling infamously bashed it which earned a fair amount of ire (which is not foreign to him) and even tried to negate the common compliment of “It forces you to adjust your strategy!” Still, I’m inclined to agree with that defense. Relying on a single type of weapon could make the combat stale pretty quickly, but there’s still some high level weapons I wish stuck around for longer. I did manage to acquire the Master Sword which is a permanent weapon that can run out of ‘energy’ and gives itself a ten minute cooldown but that’s very much a late-game item to acquire. Before that you’re basically stuck with a horde of guardian axes and knight’s claymores. I have run into the odd situation of having two or three weapons left but I discovered that shrines respawn during blood moons, so I simply found myself in those “Major Test of Strength” shrines which give you a single enemy with predictable attack pattern, serving as a miniature boss fight to help you get used to the combat mechanics. They drop two or three fairly decent weapons and a lot can be done with them. It’s just another thing to do in a fairly enjoyable game.

I also wanted to compliment the game’s way of leveling itself up. It’s essentially tied to story progress and Divine Beast slaying. Each mob has a few different variations, color coded for your convenience. Usually starting brown and going up to blue, then black and others. Each harder than the last, usually just wielding more powerful weapons and having a fair amount of hitpoints. Since a lot of my gameplay was exploring, getting towers and collecting armor, the game never advanced too quickly for me. I’d have a few scattered harrowing fights but the game did a good job of making sure I could take my time with it. The early game throws a few blue Moblins at you which are fully capable of one-shotting your measly four hearts, but I feel that was a sort of observation test for a player to absorb. It forces you to think about what your facing, change weapons and strategy. In practice, it just made me terrified of the color blue for a while. The game only starts throwing the tougher enemies at you once you defeat the bosses accompanying the four Divine Beasts. As the game’s major dungeons, completing them is often a test of everything you’ve learned and is as good a marker as any for “this player is ready for tougher enemies”. I am very pleased with this kind of development, as my first ten hours was spent killing jello blobs and bats for their parts so I could sell them and afford more arrows. The game never really went “Okay, time for the tough stuff” when I’m still using a wooden goblin spear. I don’t expect I would get much out of the game’s Master Mode, serving as a sort of New Game Plus except without anything you’ve earned, and is basically just a Hard Mode. The DLC has plenty more to offer which I will explore eventually but it sounds difficult, and I’ve never been any kind of Hard Mode player. Still, I was afraid of this game and I’ve been doing just fine in it so the DLC may not be as intimidating as I think. In conclusion, I’m having a lot of fun in it. It may not have lasting replayability (though I can think of a few ‘corrections’ to my early game to help things along) and after so long, I find there’s very little to actually find as I climb snowy mountains and angrily wait for a thunderstorm to pass. I’m far from done with it though, not while I still have goals in mind. I do have my sights on beating this one, and for a newer-aged millennial gamer, finding a Zelda game that I actually enjoy is an accomplishment on their part. I understand BOTW is a major genre shift for the franchise, and I hope they continue the trend if they want me as a returning customer. Until then, this game is very, very good.

[nottblogs]

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Well... here I am, playing the game.

I guess I’ll start this blog off with a bit about me, background info and all that so that you can get a sense of what sort of person I am and whether you’d be interested in reading what I have to say.

26 years ago, a woman who already had two children, had lost another was told she would never be able to have children again. Little did she know that a little over 9 months later that would be proven wrong, very wrong. 

That woman was my mother, having had her first child at the age of 19, and then having her second at 33. At the age of 35, back in 1991 she was considered old to become a parent. However, on the 3rd of September another ‘bundle of joy’ entered the world. My father considered it (me) a miracle, my mother... not so much. However this isn’t a blog to complain about my mummy issues. I was a sickly child, ear problems right off the bat. No eardrum in my left ear meant that I was deaf in that ear. Some skin grafts, and grommet implants later I could hear if somewhat poorly but it was there. My childhood was spent learning how to lip read - just in case the worse should happen. A skill I am very glad to have use of now that I am older. 

After that I lived what would be a relatively normal and healthy life up until being about the age of 6 or 7. We were on a family holiday, and just like any other child my age I enjoyed playing on the parks. One summers day in Cornwall I was playing on a slide, which was perhaps a bit too steep and surely enough I came flying right off the end. An accident most children would just happily get up and walk away from, maybe shed a few surprised tears. I however, couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t move at all. My parents rushed me to the hospital where after scans and X-rays it was revealed that I had a couple of muscles missing from the base of my spine. The doctors said it was fine and my back would heal in a few days, which it did but what we didn't know is that this was about to open up a whole new world of problems for me.

When I was 9, like any other child my age I was obsessed with horses, the whole ordeal with my back long forgotten my parents invested in giving me riding lessons. I was a natural, I competed in jumping competitions and went riding twice a week for 6 years. All was happy and great until one day, while out on a trek my horse was spooked down by a river and after rearing up I was thrown from the saddle only to land on a rock in the river below. This accident, which thankfully didn’t break any bones did however have a very bad impact on my back. I was left bed ridden for weeks and unable to do any physical activity, I was an active child with horse riding and dance classes, fencing lessons, karate, you name it I did it. However now I was unable to do any of it, and advised that anything of that nature may be dangerous to my condition in my back as one wrong move and i could paralyse myself for good. 

Fast forward to when I was 18, I had become accustomed to not being able to be as active as I once was however my weight suffered for it. I ballooned in size, even tipping over 20 stone on the scales but at least i’d had a good few years of being in good health behind me. Then the wisdom teeth started, one by one they all grew in but they were coming through diagonally and therefore smashing the teeth in front of them and moving the rest of my teeth forward. Four years and two teeth extractions, 10 fillings and one root canal later the problem with my teeth seemed to end. By this time I was at University. 

University was a great experience in my life, Making life long friends, having my first full time job. I even managed to meet a guy not long after I got there and I thought everything was perfect. I’d had a few boyfriends before I went to university, one even lived with me and my parents for a while but none of them had ever been serious. This new man in my life made me feel special, he made me feel like I was worth something. The first 6 months of our relationship was bliss, he came from a wealthy family, something I did not so he showered me with gifts, took me out for expensive meals and took me on trips away. However the bliss was to be short lived. Without going into too much detail the long and short of it is, I was in an abusive relationship. He would guilt trip me into doing things I didn't want to do. He would do whatever he wanted to me even if I said no, and I was in a bad place. I tried to get out time and time again but he would always hold something over me to make me stay. He blamed his sleeping around on the fact that I was depressed and down. A long 18 months after we got together it was the end of University and I was getting ready to move back  in with my parents 2 hours away. This was my chance to be free. I broke up with him and stood my ground. However the last two weeks of Uni were hell from that point on. Luckily I had a few male friends who would take it in turns to stay at my house so I never had to be alone when he so predictably turned up at my door step every evening. Harassing me and trying to break down my door. The two weeks passed and my parents picked me up and I was home. The harassment stopped maybe a week or so after I got back to my parents house, he’d found himself a new victim. I did what any honourable woman would do and messaged the girl a quick warning, whether she took my advice or not was up to her. 

After Uni I started working full time for Subway, a reasonable job but I wasn’t completely happy. After 18 months of suffocating in that relationship I had isolated pretty much all of my friends. The only person I really hung out with was my dad. This was when we realised that I had anxiety. I would never want to leave the house if I could help it and I wouldn't ever try and engage new people in conversation. During an argument one night my mother said how pathetic it was that i was 23 and my only friend was my dad. This lead to me going into online dating. I was getting a lot of male attention, and something my ex had said was stuck in my brain ‘good luck getting anyone else to want to be with you, you’re fat and ugly and nobody would want you.’ well, this proved him wrong all these men wanted me. Even if I wasn’t a typical skinny, pretty girl. After a year of one night stands, meaningless flings and douchebags I realised this really wasn't what I wanted. I stopped using the dating site and this was when I met him. The man I’d always been waiting for.

We had a brilliant first date and saw each other regularly from then on. I realised this is the first time I had been truly happy in a relationship. No second guessing, no jealousy, no self-consciousness. I was happy. After a year we were engaged! Me, engaged?! I couldn’t believe it. We were living together, with his old roommates and this is where the problems started. We lived with a married couple and they both hated me, right from the offset for no reason what so ever.

 In the first year we were together I was suffering from the common cold a lot, at least once a month. And with each cold came an accompanying ear infection. I’d had 10 within a year time period, the doctors were baffled and gave me endless antibiotics and a flu vaccine. About 6 weeks after I moved in with my fiancé and his roommates, 6 weeks into a brand new job in a call centre. I suffered an ear infection so bad that I was left 90% deaf. Remember how I said I was glad to have spent my childhood learning how to lip read? Anyway obviously working in a call centre, being deaf wasn’t any use to them so they fired me. A few months later I had some surgery which meant I could hear again, just not very well. During the time with being off work I was stuck in the house on my own all day while he was at work. One of the women we lived with also didn’t have a job, and because she didn’t like me she made me feel uncomfortable in my own house. I became depressed, I was down and out in every way and was put on antidepressants. I thought they were making an impact and I had some of my drive and ambition back but then disaster struck. 

My beloved dog, who I had left with my parents in hope of bringing her over to be with us once we had our own place had to be put to sleep. Now, I’ve suffered loss before but none of them hit me as hard as this one did. I was beside myself, I didn't know how I would ever get over it. And to be honest to this day, I haven’t. This lead to my depression getting worse. We decided for my health and my depression we needed to get out of that house, we needed our own place so thats what we did. Two months down the line we have our own house, and he decided that i needed company during the day so one day we go to pets at home just to ‘have a look’ and came home with two rabbits. They were going to live as house rabbits, and that they are doing. Currently racing each other as to who can drink the most, while doing it more noisily as i am writing this. The companionship helped, and the fact i had something to look after gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I felt refreshed, and soon thereafter I was back in work. However, this bliss was to be short lived.

A little after two weeks into my new job I became ill. Vomiting continuously and unable to get off the toilet. I figured it was just a bug but it wasn’t oh boy was it not. I’ve always been a ‘sicky kid’ I don’t have a strong stomach. Everything makes me sick, travelling, rollercoasters... cucumber. But this was something else. After 6 weeks it became apparent that it isn’t just a bug and so the tests started. Needless to say I was fired from my job again but I was soon signed unfit for work anyway. I was unable to leave the house through fear of not being able to reach a toilet in time. 

Now we have a diagnosis, at 25 years old. I have just been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Basically, my stomach lining and my bowels have just given up. After endless tests and prodding and poking this is where we’re at. 

So now to address the title of this blog, this blog is to encourage anyone who may have been through similar ordeals as I have to never give up. You may feel like the world is constantly dragging you down and like you’ve been given the short end of the stick. But please don’t ever give up. You will find good people who will help you through no matter what just like I have. And it’s going to be tough, very tough but you will get through it. My journey with Crohn’s has only just begun and there’ll be plenty more bumps in the road but just know you can do it. We can all do it together. 

nottblogs xo