#the whole plant baby concept is just SO CUTE

[violetdisasterzone]

yet another svsss hill I'm dying on despite the apparent popular opinion — bingqiu would be great parents! give them a decade of peace and quiet to start healing from the trauma of.. everything and to get comfortable in the fact that their love and commitment to the other is reciprocated equally, and I can 100% see them wanting some little ones.

Shen Qingqiu overcame both his age AND gender to become Cang Qiong's resident milf in a matter of days after his transmigration. He's great with kids - as Shen Yuan he had a younger sister who he likely helped raise or was at least somewhat close with, he obviously loves teaching and doting on his disciples, he's immediately protective of random-abandoned-toddler!Binghe in the dream realm after escaping from the Water Prison, and obviously in the Return to Childhood extra he's (the only one) having a great time. you're telling me he WOULDN'T want a baby version of Binghe for real??

and as for Luo Binghe himself, the joke/argument I see most often is that he'd be jealous of the baby for taking his shizun's time and attention away from him. first of all, by the end of the novel, do you know how many times that man has died in his arms, pushed him away, or been separated from him in some other very traumatic ways, mostly while he was being influenced by an evil sword that amplified his worst intrusive thoughts? do you know how many people WOULD take Shen Qingqiu away, given the chance?! I think he deserves to be a bit paranoid!! but again, with a bit more distance and healing from his traumas, time, and reassurance that Shen Qingqiu really is staying, I fully believe he will mellow out in that regard. with that aside, Luo Binghe is a total mama's boy, he's a part-time emperor full-time housewife, and his greatest dream has always been to be a family with Shen Qingqiu. I don't think it's a stretch at all to imagine that someday in the future, he would want to grow that family with him too. and although we don't see him interacting with children in canon the way we do Shen Qingqiu, I cannot imagine him not loving his kids, a tangible result of their love, to pieces too.

[angelbaby-fics]

Daddy stucky x little reader x little Peter where the reader is in babyspace and want to give them paci kisses and everytime she does she start to giggle 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Paci Kisses

Word Count: 640

A/N: Eeeep this idea is so so cute, thank you for requesting it!!! I don't know what else to say about this one other than I had a sweet time writing it & I hope you enjoy! 💕

Steve and Bucky were so very in love, and they weren’t afraid to show it. Every morning when Steve put breakfast down on the table, he’d kiss Bucky on the lips before they each began eating, their own little way of saying grace. Peter would always giggle, usually regressed around that silly age when kisses meant cooties, but you were too little to understand. Every time one of them left the house, they’d share a kiss; sometimes even just when one of them left the room. You were so tiny, you didn’t fully comprehend what it meant, your brain only really working in concepts. All you knew was that daddies meant love, and daddies kissed a lot, so kisses must mean love too. You wanted to return the favor.

That morning, you were woken up by Steve’s strong arms lifting you out of your crib. You blinked sleepily and smiled at him from behind your paci, your cheeks rounding out and your eyes squinting as you did so.

“Good morning angel, I love you,” Steve greeted, always wanting the first thing you heard every morning to be words of love. He kissed you on the forehead and shifted you into the crook of his arm so he could carry you out into the living room with one hand. As he did so, you leaned forward, tapping the plastic of your pacifier against his cheek. 

“Woah, what was that, baby?” Steve asked with a slight chuckle. He didn’t think you’d really be violent with him, but he wasn’t sure what you could be doing when you clumsily headbutted his cheek. 

You were too small to explain it, your little brain couldn’t find the words. All you could think to do was kiss him, over and over and over. 

“Mwah, mwah, mwah!” You mumbled softly from behind the paci, softening your taps in the hopes he’d get the memo. And boy did he. “Is that a kiss? Are you kissing daddy?” Steve asked with wide, excited eyes and laughter in his voice.

You nodded, giggling as you kissed him again, again, again. Steve kissed you back, planting his lips on the plastic, which made you giggle even more. Then, he carried you into the living room where Bucky and Peter were, with a huge grin on his face. 

“Buck! Look what our baby can do!” He said with glee, and then tapped on his cheek, motioning for you to kiss him once more, which you did joyously.

Bucky cheered and clapped for you, getting up from the couch to give a standing ovation, which made you beam even harder from behind the paci. 

“Can I have one, babydoll?” He asked eagerly, and you nodded, reaching out from Steve’s arms towards Bucky’s.

You happily kissed your Baba all over his face, giggling after each one until eventually the kisses devolved into you just nuzzling your paci across his cheeks like a puppydog. Steve joined the cuddlefest on the couch, pinching your little round cheeks. Peter had been distracted from his toys since the moment you entered the room, watching your interactions with captivated awe, but he finally couldn’t stand it anymore. He stood up, letting a toy car fall from his hand with a clatter. 

“‘S not fair! I want kisses too!” He whined with a pout.

You didn’t want your Petie to feel left out, you loved him just as much as you loved your daddies of course. You reached out to him now, kicking your little feet with delight as he ran over to the three of you. Now your whole family was together on the couch, and you took turns kissing each of them, and each of them took turns kissing you. You’d already mastered your newest skill, and you couldn’t wait to keep practicing every single day.

[shiorilizzy]

how about Yandere Wriothesley with an insecure female reader that is willing to be with him EVEN suggesting they should have a Baby so he would not leave her (basically obedient Reader

Thank you for asking, I actually love this concept. Sorry if this my headcanons go astray from your request.

Warning: Yandere theme, absolute no beta @@ because my head is full of thoughts but no words come out, Wrio x Clo may not like this one.

Couple: Yandere!Wriothesley x Female!Reader

In my opinion, Wriothesley is also insecure and has trust issues.

He is afraid that someone will take his precious lady. The sight of you getting bored of him and walking away with others is his worst nightmare.

But you are so well-behaved. Even when Wriothesley dragged you down and literally locked you up in his room, your eyes still looked at him so lovingly like he was your whole world.

Having you is like a miracle to him that he thanks Archon every day. It feels like his missing piece.

(You may be every yandere’s dream)

You are his lovely kitty, his treasure, his only exception, his sanity, his obsession, his comfort.

He loves the way you just accept every dark corner of him without hesitation. The more you look at him, the more he wants to spoil and drown you with his love.

Meanwhile, you always think that you are not enough for him. You are scared that someday, Wriothesley will find a smarter, prettier, and maybe from high society, suitable for Wriothesley’s titles.

So you try your best to be a good girl to him, obey everything he says. You know he likes it.

Both of you are insecure, but you have a way of comforting each other so days fly by peacefully.

Until Clorinde comes to the Fortress one day.

You hear Wriothesley’s chuckles and a female voice, so you take a peek inside.

You see a beautiful woman is having tea with him. You realize her. Clorinde is utterly famous in Fontaine. 

The sound of them, smiling and talking, ringing inside your head and tearing your heart. 

You’re drowning in jealousy but you do not dare to jump in and ask.

Later that night, you shyly ask for a baby. 

Wriothesley was surprised at first, but then he noticed your desperate face.

He knew something was wrong. He patiently hugged you and asked.

“Of course darling, anything you want. But can you tell me the reason for this sudden request? Tell me what’s on your cute mind?”

After a while of “interrogating”, he finally understood the situation.

While you blabbing about how you will be more obedient, begging to stay, Wriothesley's mind was on cloud nine.

Oh my Archon, you must be an angel for his gray life. How could he have such a perfect darling like you?

He was so happy that you were willing to do anything just to be with him.

You accept the risk, the responsibility just to be with him, just for the chance that he would not leave you. You trusted him wholeheartedly and only him. What could he ask more? 

 No one has ever needed him like this before. Your jealous, your insecure, your begging made him feel so loved. 

Wriothesley laughed as he hugged you tightly. He looks like the happiest man in the world.

“Silly, if I want to leave you, I can just take the child and push you out.”

“I want to have kids just because I love you. They will not affect my decision of keeping you.”

He told you that Clorinde was just a colleague. He had no feelings for her.

He planted kisses on your face, showing how happy he was and how much he loved you.

“My dear silly kitten, how could I look at others when I have you already? How could I live without you now?”

“You want it or not, I will never let you go, even till the day I die. I will drag you with me. Even the next life and the next next life. You’re bound with me. You cannot escape from me.”

“Besides, I am the one afraid about you running away…”

He soon lit up your mood with his sassy humor. 

Having a loyal lover makes this kinda twisted love completely normal.

Bonus:

After a few days, Clorinde and Navia were invited to a tea party in the Fortress. Clorinde looked at you, sat on Wriothesley’s lap, from top to toe:

“I think I know where all of the factory’s profit goes.”

[eremorte]

thronecoming heritage hall gifts (rewritten)

The Thronecoming heritage hall gifts bug me. Most of them don’t feel like a parent has gifted them. They are so uninspired for the biggest moment in their child’s life.

I’ve listed my replacements below. I’m hoping for the gifts to have a, if had-to-do-it-again-here’s-what-I’d-want vibe.

blondie lockes

OG gift: running shoes

rewritten gift: a new piece of tech that helps her with her mirror cast. A shiny new microphone or even just a cute news reporter accessory that acknowledges her unintended break from destiny (or rather extremely developed hobby/career because her story can be over in like 30 minutes) it also gives off the initial impression that blondie’s story is “just right” the way it is until.. boom! There’s a note.

That mentions that as Goldilocks has reflected on her role and how she regrets hurting the bears the ways she has* and with an extra perceptive daughter like blondie she is sure to find a worthy story (within bounds) that won’t cause baby bear to develop a complex. *insert long list of things here that blondie could comment on in her stead because the story book of legends didn’t write every worthwhile critique of the bear house and the bears despite “forgiving” her won’t let her talk to them about this* and a small comment of how she is super proud about blondie that hopefully eases some of her attention seeking behavior so she’s less of a brat later on.

cerise hood:

OG Gift: picnic basket with an electronic mirror lock.

revised gift: honestly I have no comment. This is a great gift. My only question is how recently the presents are placed in the hall seeing as how that basket spit up a whole bird leg. Maybe it has a special note of the picnic menu they have in celebration once the whole shebang is done.

o hair twins:

OG gift floating hair brushes

rewritten gift given how Rapunzel’s story is that she was locked away her whole life because her bio mom ate a magical plant while pregnant that the witch wasn’t sure of the side effects of and had to lock her away because damn sure bio parents couldn’t do anything if the witch was second guessing herself. What I think should be there are odd bits an bobs function like an Easter egg hunt of a map and post fairytale notes one what they are that Rapunzel is certain her girls can figure out because they have her plant powers (though probably diluted hence the helpful notes incase they have to solve things like their adoptive grandma ).

briar beauty

NOW FOR THE GIRL WHO INSPIRED THIS POST. Her gift makes me so angry. It is the most nothing gift of the whole bunch. You mean to tell me that a hundred year sleep doesn’t come with any regrets at all? Not one thing?

OG gift A neck pillow.

revised gift: A SCRAPBOOK. The first few pages could be filled with pictures of her family. Bonus points if they’re are people Briar wouldn’t have gotten the chance to meet but knows who they are by virtue of her mom. It hits home exactly how big her sacrifice is. Also all the storybook imagery? The intro? Imagine if there was a dark time line where we were being told everything that happen through briar who missed all of it and is trying to piece back something familiar?

either way, mental breakdown and existential crisis guaranteed.

also bonus. It’s totally merchandisable. Half the book mercy was essentially scrapbooks/concept art anyhow.

Cedar wood: revealer rays

it’s a good gift but something she wouldn’t be able to use in her story at all. They are not subtle and most everyone who knows about Cedar knows that Pinocchio didn’t mess up her eyes to the point she’d feasibly need glasses. Revised gift: letters from the blue fairy (well wishes, maybe an helpful hint or two) Gepetto and Pinocchio (things to to try (and not repeat) once she’s no longer wooden and how to lie effectively) I can’t think of a physical possession for Cedar to have. But I feel she’d appreciate these. Maybe a special cricket/donkey whistle?

duchess swan:

no gift shown but what I have in mind is a mix of briar and blondie’s gift.

a collection of letters (written on leaves and paper or something) from both her mom and her bio dad detailing the bitter sweet love in the tragedy to reassure duchess it’s not all bad. And a special pair of dancing shoes for her last night as a human. I imagine this gift would only make duchess mad.

Madeline hatter:

no gift shown and honestly idk what the mad hatter gives his daughter it’s probably perfect. An old hat that looks very normal actually? A crazy new teapot? Who knows?

raven queen:

og gift wand wishing well coin

honestly I want to know the logic behind the wand. Is it a back up battery in case apple thwarts raven through zapping away her powers somehow?

I have multiple suggestions

Something that contains directions to the true SBOL

recipe for the poison apple

something that originally belonged to someone in the Snow White family that she is proud enough to share with her daughter (raven would probably give it back).

*blondie branches out mentions how Goldilocks promised to be a better person.

[beanghostprincess]

hear me out I like zeff/yasopp I think it's great but just hear me out sora right? Mrs Vinsmoke instead of poisoning herself to fix her babies. She poisons her husband, killing him. She takes her daughter and runs away to the east blue.

She finds the nice humble island with a small village known as syrup village. She has a nice little home and delivers her babies in the village and raises them on her own. They're all completely normal well adjusted non-emotionally stunted children with their own passions and hobbies. Ichiji literature and poetry, Niji gardening and plants Sanji is still cooking and Yonji is sports mainly baseball Reiju ballet.

she befriends a lady named Banchina she likes to visit her once in a while and brings her son usopp to play with them. They get closer like really close Sora is catching feelings practically having a second sexual awakening with this woman. She doesn't know what to do She didn't even know she was bisexual until now. That's how trapped she was in that miserable miserable marriage

Banchina is a lesbian (insert lavender marriage backstory right here we know the lore yasopp is being gay somewhere this ain't about him) she fell for this woman the minute she saw her she was head over heels. Gorgeous, beautiful. She needs her She wants her. She pursues her

They kiss, they start seeing each other more often they get closer they're in love

NOOO THIS IS SO CUTE ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT-

The whole lavender marriage thing with Yasopp and Banchina is just amazing to me, tbh. I adore them. And Sora deserved so much better,, She deserved to escape from that hell and get a wife fr fr. And in this concept we're like, SO adding Childhood BFFs to lovers Sanuso right??? Right???

Because I can't stop thinking about Sora raising the kids on her own in Syrup Village and they all have their little personalities and passions. And Sanji still loves to cook and is the sweetest thing that has ever existed. Honestly, he might not get his stubborn and strong personality from Zeff but he could most definitely get it from his brothers. 100%. If in this concept they act like normal siblings I can assure you they are arguing 24/7 (but they're very protective of Sanji because you will have to kill me before I give up my headcanon of the brothers actually loving Sanji a lot). So yadda yadda yadda he meets Usopp and they are best friends and they grow up together and they are boyfriends and the story is similar to the original except that there's no Zeff BUT Luffy does end up making these two idiots join. Except that they're boyfriends already. And the story doesn't change because they already look like boyfriends in canon.

But this isn't about them because I like women more!

Okay so Sora is the sweetest mother in the whole world but since she has to raise the kids on her own she also has to act tough sometimes and you know,,, It is a hard job when you have,,, 5 kids,,, Poor woman. But she loves her little angels SO much it's insane and they love her even MORE and they all help in their tiny little home in the village somehow. Tiny little family that is not so tiny because those are 5 kids. Girl,,, I just know Banchina would want to help her somehow. Usopp doesn't have that many friends and Banchina thinks it's a great idea to go visit Sora and the kids so Usopp has somebody to play with. And even if it's a bit hard because his personality clashes a lot with the brothers, he gets along the most with Sanji. Instant best friendism because Sanji looks so sweet and quiet and sensitive and Usopp goes full superhero mode on him. My pookies,,,

Honestly, Banchina is so real for falling for Sora right away. Because. You know. Have you seen Sora? I think Banchina admires her a lot because sometimes it's hard for her to raise Usopp on her own without Yasopp around and you're telling her Sora can do that same thing with 5 kids??? And Sora falls for Banchina too because. Again. Have you seen her??? And she is also so fun to be around and so so helpful!

Wouldn't it be extremely sweet but angsty if they started to fall in love, meeting even when the kids aren't around and doing chores together, but Sora feeling guilty because she thinks Banchina is actually married married to Yasopp? She doesn't know anything about the lavender marriage yet,,, And Banchina doesn't want to ask personal, intrusive things, so she doesn't know more than "They escaped from a bad place" about Sora and her kids. She guesses she doesn't want a romantic relationship now-- But she does!! Of course she does!!

Banchina is just,, So sweet to her and so so helpful and thoughtful. Sora isn't used to this much kindness in her life,, You have to keep in mind she basically got out of an abusive relationship and it's the first time somebody actually wants her for herself and not to use her. Banchina always wants to cook for her and help her with her groceries and look after the kids when Sora wants to take a nap. And I think Sora also would see her with Sanji cooking, stopping fights between the brothers and playing with them (also fixing their stuff bc I hc that Banchina knows her ways when it comes to like, mechanics and art and such), and talking for hours with Reiju and dancing with her. Sora is so in love,,, She has never felt like this before. She didn't even know she liked girls. But she doesn't want to make any sudden changes for the kids,, Again,, Or ruin what they have. So she stays quiet.

And Banchina loves painting, by the way. Obviously, because I say so (and bc I want Usopp to have a deeper reason to love art). So Banchina is always drawing Sora, at first absentmindedly, and later on she realizes the only thing that inspires her is Sora,,, She has always been looking for that. A true passion and stability and knowing she can trust somebody to stay and to offer her their heart so she can paint it. She's a bit intense when it comes to helping Sora, maybe, but she wants to be helpful! And Sora is always taking care of her too and her health!! Looking out for her and being oh so gentle and fun to be around. Sora is the sweetest but she's also a bit of a tease and her laugh is the cutest thing Banchina has ever heard. But yeah,,, Neither of them wants to confess even though they've almost kissed,,, A lot of times.

Okay,,, But wouldn't it be cute if Sanji and Usopp's crushes on each other started very early in their friendship and Sora and Banchina realized they have to be honest about their feelings thanks to their kids??? Because they both ask for advice from them about how to tell somebody you like them, and when they're both like "If you truly feel like it's meant to be you'll know... You need to follow your heart and be honest..." they know they have to finally be together together. They wouldn't tell their kids right away because they think they need to get used to more to this dynamic first and it's a big change. So they stay quiet and keep it to themselves. But, you know, Banchina and Usopp basically live with them now at this point so it's hard not to know.

Also,,, Can't stop thinking about Sora being a badass and knowing Judge is the most horrible person to ever exist BUT still having issues with relationships because of his fault? She still has this feeling of like, thinking she's worthless and needs to do more and more and more? And give give give? And Banchina helping her all the time and sharing the burden and seeing all the pretty things Judge found ugly in her,,,, It does wonders for her heart. And Banchina also realizes that she doesn't have to be alone and can share her passions and true feelings with somebody finally??? What if I cry.

Aghhhh. I absolutely adore this. The kids grow up and do their own things and Usopp and Sanji go with Luffy and they are all happy and there's no angst! And once they're alone they can be cottagecore middle-aged sapphics in their little village.

Lil note: Somebody choose a shipname bc I am awful with these things thank you-

[chinchillamajor]

So, remember that D20 system for determining the power level of any Golbetty-caused offspring @cottagedeer came up with, for all those pregnant AU Simons out there?

Deer rolled a natural 20 for one Simon. (That is, "this kid is not even remotely humanoid in form, and could end entire worlds if they felt like it.") And, using my special 1s-or-20s die, so did I.

I saw Deer went back to the drawing board on that particular Golbaby's design, to something more fittingly unknowably eldritch.

I know this world of pregnant Simon AUs is the furthest thing from a competition. Yet I found myself thinking, "I should really step up my game on *my* design, too."

I'd figured that, for my Star Simon AU, Star Simon's kiddo Dandelion chose to Nope out of the whole "being born in a physical form" thing altogether partway through the pregnancy, lest the kiddo end up wiping out Star Simon and the rest of his planet in the process. (Very kind of Dandelion to do that, really.)

Thus came Dandelion v1.0: a cute little abstract star shape, with cute little puffy wings.

But, with the whole "world ender" levels of Golbaby power afoot here, I got to thinking. What if the star shape with wings Star Simon sees is just, like... a stronger form of those parent-specific, "protect this kid at all costs" hormones kicking in, showing him what he'd want to see?

What would Dandelion *actually* look like?

Well...

Behold, a concept sketch of Dandelion's true form! A sort of optic nerve/dandelion plant hybrid. And they are *ginormous.*

Thankfully for those who'd be freaked out by an eyeball the size of a house suddenly floating into view, most people can't actually *see* Dandelion.

With no physical form, the kiddo exists 100% in the mental/magical realms. So unless someone's able to see through dimensions, it's rare that anyone's standing at *just* the right angle to catch a glimpse of them.

(It DOES happen, though. Poor Simons.)

I had to let the other folks who'd created all those pregnant Simon AUs know about this. What about the idea of Dandelion getting a play date with the other Golbabies out there?

Which was great, until I remembered @mushroomnoodles 's Golbaby Morrigan *loves* to chew on things, as a baby.

Best to not bring those two together on play dates until way, WAY off in the future. Which, bonus: in 2000 years or so, when Morri assumes their god-level form, Dandelion will finally have someone who's as tall as they are!

Then I had another idea. Dandelion's whole thing is their ability to portal from dimension to dimension, right? What if all those other Golbabies out there could see each other, through a bunch of portals opened at the same time? Maybe they could all have a party, even!

That's when I remembered: my IRL Dandelion's Nope Day last year was December 8th.

Why couldn't that be this fictional Dandelion's birthday, of sorts?

So, watch for another post on the 8th!

[galactiquest]

I want more Legato x reader soooo can I have headcanons of him and reader having a kid? It’s based on this: https://www.tumblr.com/mediocreanomaly/722565867660034048/baby-fever-with-trigun-boys

Hi there!! I'd LOVE to do a Legato x Reader for you, I especially have a soft spot for kids so I'm excited to do this one.

I'm focusing more on Maximum Legato, since we only catch a glimpse of him in Stampede and don't really get the full story of him in 98, and let's be frank: if you're a fan of Legato it's probably because you read Maximum. Probably.

Legato Bluesummers x Reader: Raising a Kid Together

Content Warnings: General allusions to Legato's past. If you've read the manga, you know what I'm talking about--but nothing in-depth, more there as an explanation of his overall feelings. Also, implies some sort of "good ending" where people survive. I just like things to be happy...

Let's get one thing crystal clear: Legato isn't super open to the idea of kids--at first. Much like MediocreAnomaly's "baby fever" headcanon list, Legato's had a hard enough time as it is, and didn't get a childhood himself. Trying to raise a kid when you have no idea how it's supposed to be like? No way. No how.

But if it's you... Well, maybe for you, he could change? I mean, if you've gotten far enough in a relationship that you could even bring up the concept of children... I think he could at least hear you out.

Regardless of how a child for the two of you comes into the world, it's going to be a bit rocky at first.

If it's a natural-born child, he'd definitely be fretting over you over the whole course of it... Reading every book he can to possibly prepare for the day and making sure you're always well cared for.

If you're instead planning for adoption, he's still reading up on everything he needs to know for the age range of the child. Double- and triple-checking paperwork and documents.

Speaking of reading up--you'd probably catch him at least once or twice falling asleep in a chair while trying to read through a book on childcare. Cover him up with a blanket, put the book on the side table, plant a little kiss on his head and assure him that he's going to be a great dad.

He's a worrier at his core, but he tries not to let this weakness show, especially around you, his partner. He's afraid that his worrying will make you worry, because if someone as intimidating and cold as Legato Bluesummers can get worried, then there's no telling what it'd do to you!

With a newborn child, he's afraid to even hold them at first. It takes a lot of convincing. But once you do break through that fear of his, he's completely taken by this little life that's now in your hands to take care of. A little glimmer of hope, that even though he didn't have the best start, this child can. He can be the change he wants to see.

A similar situation would happen with an adopted child, where depending on the age, he'd be a little cagey about spending time with them and taking care of them--he'll be watching you for guidance, seeing the way you take care of your child, mentally writing it down.

Once he gets into the swing of things, he's being the best parent he can possibly be. Not only supporting you as his partner, but also supporting your child and all three of you as a collective family unit. He'd lay down his life for you, and now that same sentiment has been spread to your child.

Though it's taken a long time for the world around you to become (slightly) more peaceful, you both want your kid to be raised in a safe, loving, and peaceful environment, without having to worry about warfare or violence.

He's actually very good at house-chores. Like a little house husband (who would have guessed from his appearance?). It must be something with how the tasks are repetitive and orderly--this gets cleaned, that goes there, etc. etc.

Also cue many cute moments of your child growing and trying to put on Legato's boots or pauldrons. You both hope they'll never have to wear anything like that to intimidate enemies, and maybe just enjoy it for the style (and for reminding them of their dad Legato!).

Speaking of their dad Legato: he didn't feel right being called by a title like dad or father, so he prefers to introduce himself to the child as Legato. It sounds a little strange at first with you trying to encourage the child to say your title of mommy/daddy/insert a preferred title here (if they're at the age when they're just learning words) and Legato just goes with his name, but you might get some babble back like Leggie or Gago. You find this funny. Legato doesn't.

Hey, how about extended family? I think the Gung-Ho Guns would be itching to visit--well, some of them, at least. Elendira, for example, wants to dote on the new child like an auntie. Legato has a variable amount of patience for this, ranging from "leave" to "leave right now". It's up to you, ultimately, to decide who gets to come see the child and who doesn't.

Knives silently approves of the child from the shadows, but might still mutter something about weak little human babies can't even walk or protect themselves. It's up to you, ultimately, to decide how hard Legato slaps him for that.

It's late at night when you come into the living room and see something you'd never thought you'd see. It's Legato and your child, sitting together on one of the chairs, kid in his lap, book propped up in his hands--and they're both fast asleep, just like Legato had done before when he was fretting over all this.

The two are too cute--you can't help but smile as you bring a blanket out and tuck it over the two of them, putting the book on the side table and giving both your child and Legato a kiss.

He really did end up as a great dad.

End Notes: I really hope you enjoyed this! I don't normally write for Legato like this so this was really my first time. I honestly see Legato as a kid of my own, so this was sort of like writing for a grandchild lol. I think Legato could be a good dad, he's got all the potential in his heart when he has you by his side.

Also, please let me know if the formatting for this looks OK! I wanted breaks after each bullet point for better readability.

[andromebaa]

what are some of your favorite headcanons for just the two of us?

Oh man, I have so many lol. I'm gonna split them into serious stuff (plot/character hc), cute stuff (pairing/shipping hc) and dumb stuff (they're idiots hc). This is definitely not all of them, just the ones I could think of tonight. Kinda spoiler-ish if you haven't read up to the most current Just the Two of Us chapters so be warned! Serious Stuff

Kaito as a hero archetype always fascinates me. I feel like he has this compulsion to help others, especially those he perceives as weaker or unable to protect themselves. I think that's why I portrayed his 'biggest fear' in the simulation as hurting the people he loves the most and losing control in a way that makes him become a monster. (Very fun to consider depending on your HCs about his pre-game personality ehehe)

Kokichi is a walking bundle of trauma. So much has happened to this guy and I'm sure it's been dissected by people smarter than me but like - compulsive liar? Tiny? Really good at hiding? Those weird little spacing-out moments he gets? Something bad happened to you, didn't it? Like, maybe not as BAD as what I've depicted, but yeah. Poor baby.

Shadow Child was created as a representation of both Kaito and Kokichi's 'inner children', specifically the darker and more traumatic parts of their childhoods. They are portrayed more often as Kokichi because his trauma is much larger and more pronounced, and therefore more influential in the subconscious part of the simulation. I don't know why I stuck with they/them pronouns for them, it just kind of felt right?

The leech was based on Kaito's subconscious fears of his death. The concept of this parasite that drained its host's life force felt fitting for a death fear sort of thing. It also represents the loss of control he feels over this aspect of his life. It kind of 'evolves' as it takes in influences from other people, but that's kind of its main framework.

Miu's Copy had a massive breakdown during the bathroom scene. It was kind of her last straw before she turned on the leech. She kind of reflected on what she knew about the original Miu, the contents of the simulation and how Kaito and Kokichi interacted and it made her realise how fucked up everything was and how much she did not want to participate. Also she was getting sick of all the edgy thoughts leech was putting in her brain.

Cute Stuff

Kokichi's favourite food never used to be strawberries, it changed after Kaito fed them to him and he got some sort of psychological association between strawberries and him.

On that note, Kokichi probably can cook, like, decently, but he kind of plays up his ignorance because he likes Kaito showing him how to do it.

Kaito is super super into domestic life lol he can try to pretend he isn't but he so is. Definitely got into a routine when they were stuck in the simulation for that year.

Being with each other for that year made them get a really close, almost psychic-ish bond that people get when they spend too much time with each other. It's how Kaito can pick up on when Kokichi is lying, for example.

After he overcomes the whole 'don't touch me' hurdle, Kokichi swings to the other side of the pendulum and is very clingy. Won't leave Kaito alone. It annoys him at first but it grows on him.

They have lots of petty squabbles but they usually don't last. They're not fantastic at apologising properly to each other, it's usually just settled through physical affection or gifts (food).

Dumb Stuff

Kokichi drank shampoo the first time he saw it because he thought it was a fruity beverage. That's why Kaito started washing his hair for him.

Kaito named all his plants. He gets offended when Kokichi forgets them.

Miu definitely had relations with her P.A.L self.

I'm sure I'm missing a bunch lol but yeah headcanons woo! Thanks for the askkkk <3

[labratboygirl]

HEY SO I FINALLY FUCKING DID THE GWA PLANT TIERLIST because its like a twomper rite of passage 2 me

explaining All Of My Answers under the cut ((please dont read it i dont know why im likethis))

eye flower:: YKNOW WHAT i like him . even if his designs a bit stereotypical i still think hes so sillay

tendril flower:: eeeuuuuhhhhh i duunno ........ not exactly my Jam

heart flower:: I LOVE HIM but i agree with ashur on tgis one his shtick is a lot . Weaker than the rest of the plants' shticks . still going in wildflower tho :o)

walker:: INSTANT MOVE TO EVERGREEN i love his design and his whole concept so so much

friendship flower:: silly guy :o) not my favorite but his designs cute and his segment was ?? Funny ????? Sad ??????? both

organ flower:: i may be biased on this one because im a Gore Enjoyer but evergreen BITCH

the flower that knows all the secrets of the universe:: OOOH OOH OOOOO ifuycking love this guy especially the message he came with in the ep he appeared in ....... The Lore .............

fearful flower:: THE SILLAYYY i love his expressions and his bit at the end

meat flower:: just like with the organ flower i may be biased because of the gore lover instincts

the most beautiful flower in the void:: eh . even if its pretty its Boring 2 me . it feels like it was only made 4 the sake of the jealousy bit at the end ........

copycat flower:: AGAINNN it only feels like it was made 4 the sake of a bit ............ the idea was still nice tho

advice flower ((ithink thats what its called)):: GOOOODDDD his segment in the episdoe was so fucking funny i lose my mind at that shit every time

portal flower:: LOVE LOVE LOVE from the lore 2 the design its so niceys

two faced flower:: his segment was funny the design/idea was cool i fucking LOVE how fluid the stop motion was 4 him .... not amazing but still very Thumbs Up Emoji

iforgot what this one was called . baby flower ??????:: no . nah . no thanks

cry fruit:: not my fav but loved argos just goin Rip And Tear on his ass . that was funny

dream flower:: FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH the lore the concept the design ALL SO SO GOOD

mushrooms:: VERY cute and VERY silly :o)))))

animal flower i think it was ???:: LOVE THE CONCEPT but i feel like more couldve been done with it .........

immortal flower:: loved the Themes And Motifs in this guys concept ....... very nice

babbling flower:: i KNOWWWW im the argos guy and im not supposed 2 like him but HE WAS FUNNY . his bit was funny . i like him . also i love his sharp teeth

whispering flower:: THIS FLOWERS BIT WAS SO SO FUCKING CUTE AND SO IS THE DESIGN we should talk about it more

fright flower:: just like with the animal flower ((???)) i like the concept but i think more coulda been done with it ....... but the Oh Whatever bit was funny as shit

white mushrooms:: ILOVE THEIR DESIGNS and the lil noises they make only put it in wildflower because i felt like i was putting too many in in season LMAO

AND AS A BONUS:: where i wouldve put the newest plants ((climbing ivy / tattle flower / venenum tracta)) if they were included in the tierlist

climbing ivy:: LOVE THE CONCEPT and the bit it came with .... designs a lil bit dry but whateva . wildflower :o)

tattle flower:: in season but literally Only because of the fucking "argos' flower will be late and hes going 2 smell a mr plant :)))" bit it came with THAT SHIT WAS SO FUKCINH FUNNY

venenum tracta:: COOLASS DESIGN + CONCEPT and i also love how it has a scientific name ........ love how scientific names roll off the tongue ......... venenum tracta . yknow what i mean . in season

[9r7g5h]

Terrors of the Cubical World

Fandom: My Hero Academia, Boku no Hero Academia 

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Summary: All Dairoji wanted was a job. He didn't mean to fall in love with his perfect angel of a superior who was dating the most volaille pro hero in the rankings.

Words: 4,823

Dairoji had known, the moment he read the job description, that this one had to be his.

While sure, the support courses at UA hadn't had anything like "The Big Three" that the hero courses had, he would have certainly qualified for being in the running for the top ten if they had, and his work ever since he had graduated and done his internship had just continued to prove it. He had been instrumental in helping Mei Hatsumi figure out the dissolving compound to clean the city of Grape Daddy's balls before he had mysteriously disappeared on the job, thus rendering their work unnecessary, though it was still used in multiple manufacturing plants. His work spoke for itself, really.

So, a job at a nice, safe office, away from the crazy woman who often forgot mortality was a thing? One that he was more than qualified for, where he would be designing support equipment to be produced en masse, like headsets and night vision goggles and the like? Where the chances of explosions were minimal?

That job had to be his.

And, after a grueling two months of interviews, background checks, submitting proofs of concept, proving he could build prototypes of said proofs of concepts, proving said prototypes of said proofs of concepts actually worked, and answering a strange questionnaire about his knowledge of Silver Age All Might trivia, it was. He was offered the job, full pay, full benefits, and fuck if it didn’t feel good. It felt even better to give his notice to Mei (though his glee was a bit trodden by her questions of “Who are you? Why are you here? Can you hand me that screwdriver?" Thank god for automatic payroll). His first day working for a major corporation, about to contribute to hero society on a grand scale instead of making "babies" for single customers.

And the heavens blessed him, because put in charge of his training and orientation was the most beautiful man he had ever met.

"Hi," the angel said with a beaming smile, his hand held out to shake. "I'm Izuku Midoriya. You must be Dairoji Imai. Welcome to the team!"

He knew, in theory, what happened in the following hours. Izuku walked him through getting his computer set up, showed him his cube and the lab, helped him fill out the forms to order safety gear, all with that smile that kept his heart hovering just on this side of overloading. He knew Izuku had introduced him to some of the people he would be working with on a regular basis, all lovely, friendly people he immediately forgot. Knew Izuku took him to HR to get the packet they were now settling down with, their lunches in front of them, so they could go over the papers he needed to sign. But if anyone asked him any questions about anything besides how bright his smile was, or how his eyes crinkled when he did to hide some of the green, or how his curls shone in the sun and almost seemed to take on a whole new level of color he had never imagined possible, well, Dairoji couldn’t answer them.

Even his homemade bento was perfect. Healthy, obviously delicious from just the smell, and the rice and eggs had been shaped to look like a sleeping bear - far, far too cute.

It didn’t matter that Izuku was his superior, that he had known him for all of four hours, that he didn’t even know if Izuku liked men. Dairoji was in love, and he would marry this man one day.

His daydream about their wedding and future children and Izuku’s explanation of their record keeping system was interrupted by a firm knock on the door. Without waiting for an explanation the door opened, a woman sticking her head in. Her face was grim, even as Izuku perked up in his chair. "I'm so sorry to bother you two," she started, looking the exact opposite of sorry, "but he's here."

If Dairoji thought Izuku's smile was bright before, for a moment it legitimately felt like he had gone blind. He was immediately up and out of his chair, thanking the woman as he passed by her with a quick shimmy that got him out of the room without her having to move, despite the door still only being semi-open. For the first time since he walked in, Dairoji was curious about something besides how Izuku liked his breakfast.

"Come on, kid," the woman said dryly, jerking her head towards where Izuku had disappeared. "Better you get used to this now."

They quickly caught up to Izuku, who had been forced to pause in his run by a trail of carts traveling from one of the labs to a testing room. He adorably shifted from foot to foot, smiling and greeting each employee as they passed, even though it was clear he was impatient for them to pass. The moment they did he continued on, though just slow enough for Dairoji and the woman to keep up with him. Approaching what he vaguely realized was the cube section of the building, where the various employees could sit at their desks and fill out paperwork or draw, Dairoji was surprised as the woman grabbed his arm - he had been focused on Izuku, specifically the fact that he was walking in front of him, and wasn’t that a beautiful sight to see.

“Look,” the woman said, “just don’t freak out when you see him. He really doesn’t like the attention, and gets pissy when people fawn over him. That’s a sure fire way to set something on fire. Don’t ask for his autograph - ask Izuku to ask him to sign something for you, because if you ask him yourself it will get blown up. Honestly, the only other person here who can talk to him besides Izuku is Ms. Honey, and that’s only because she’s been bribing him with caramels for the last seven years. If you don’t have to do otherwise, keep it to the bare minimum of ‘Excuse me,’ ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ and ‘sorry.’ Otherwise, anything that happens is your fault, and HR won’t help you. Izuku is the best employee we have here, they’ll choose him over you anyday.”

Her words made very little sense until they took that last turn, and Dairoji watched as the angel he'd been following flew directly into the arms of the current number nine hero - Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

What the fuck?

If there was anyone in the world he would have placed as the exact opposite of Izuku, it would have been the prohero standing next to Izuku's desk, hugging the green-haired man tight to his chest. He was well known for being loud, angry, abrasive, for cursing too much even in front of cameras and children. The only reason he had broken top 10 was because he was strong and had an even stronger sense of justice, leading to an impressive record that, even with his off putting personality, couldn't be ignored. That, and, Dairoji had to admit, he was hot too. The few times he had managed to be forced into a photo shoot had shot his rankings right on up there, landing him quite a comfortable position amongst the elites.

But apparently this walking angry ball of TNT was friends with Izuku, friends enough to get an ecstatic hug and a smile that put all the ones Dairoji had seen so far to shame.

"Kacchan! You're here early!"

And apparently a nickname?

"Patrols been quiet. Figured I'd stop in and see how you were." His words were barely more than grunts, the usual Dynamight - or, rather, Kacchan? - signature response. But his hands didn't move from Izuku's waist, and he didn't seem to notice as Izuku's rested on his chest.

"It's been great! I've been training our new employee, Dairoji!" Dairoji's heart swelled at the sound of his name in Izuku's voice, the best sound he ever could have heard. He immediately took a step forward - wrong move, as Dynamight immediately clocked him, his red eyes narrowing, examining, judging. It felt like he was being sized up by a shark, or maybe a lion, some kind of predator that found him wanting as, with no acknowledgment at all, Dynamight's gaze returned to Izuku. "I think he's going to be a great addition to the team, once he's done with the paperwork. I was thinking of getting him started on the more flexible fabrics we've been developing, see if he can figure out the tensile issue-"

"Yeah, sure, sounds great nerd," Dynamight cut him off, and Dairoji had to bite his tongue. Number nine pro hero or not, how dare he talk to Izuku like that? It was so disrespectful! "You get the bento I left you in the fridge?"

"I did! It was great, Kacchan, just like all your cooking is! Kacchan is always the best!"

"Did you actually eat it, or am I going to find out you ate nothing but Ms. Honey's snacks all day?"

"Don't worry, dear," a little old lady's voice said, "I haven't given him any yet. Not that he hasn't tried to weedle some out of me. Speaking of..." From the same cube the two stood by, a lady that perfectly matched her voice appeared, old spotted hand holding out what, as she dropped it into Dynamight's palm, seemed to be a perfectly wrapped square of caramel. "You enjoy that now, you hear?"

"I'll enjoy the cavities and the extra mile I have to run, don't you worry, Grandma."

"And I'll make sure our little Izuku here doesn't get up to trouble, just like always."

Like that it was clear - Izuku had to be Dynamight's younger brother, or some kind of cousin, since that would explain the closeness, the cutesy nickname, everything. He'd never read about the hero having any family besides his parents, but he was exceptionally private about his day to day life. It was only commonly known he was gay because of a support interview he had done a few years ago with some of his classmates, something never discussed again, so it wasn't surprising that he'd wanted to keep such a cute younger brother/cousin a secret. Besides, it was well known that the families of heroes were often targeted by villains with long standing grudges - Dairoji could respect Dynamight, even if he did leave a bad taste in his mouth on a day to day basis.

"Do you have to go back to your patrol?" Izuku asked, his almost pout far too cute.

"Not like I can stay. Just had to get what I came for." Dynamight's grin was, if Dairoji was paying attention, far too wide for brotherly affection, but he was thinking too hard about how he would get the destructive hero's permission to court Izuku to catch it. So, when Dynamight made his move, Dairoji was very much caught off guard.

Caught off guard as Dynamight's hand moved to Izuku's hair, pulling him up into a very much not brotherly kiss, his other moving down to grab and squeeze a handful of Izuku's ass, forcing out a noise that had no place in coming from the throat of an angel like Izuku but that Dairoji immediately wanted to hear again. Ms. Honey, not even looking up from whatever she was working out, let out a yip of excitement, and even the woman standing next to him struggled to fight back a snicker. "Youth is wasted on the young," Ms. Honey said with absolutely no shame as Izuku and Dynamight pulled apart. "I don't know how you two function, when if I was either one of you I wouldn't be able to leave the bed."

"Why do you think I come here everyday, Grandma," Katsuki asked, finally freeing Izuku from his hold. "Not for your shitty sugar, that's for sure. Gotta have something to keep me going until I get home." He gave what could have been a sly wink at Izuku, if not for stupidly happy grin on his face. "Later, nerd. I'm working late tonight, so don't eat anything too shitty for dinner. I'll kick your ass if you do."

"Spank it, more like it." Ms. Honey let out a cackle as Izuku flushed and sputtered at her hypocritically about "decorum," while Dynamight just laughed as he started to walk away.

"Kacchan," Izuku called out, ignoring his cube mate for a moment. "HR wanted me to remind you to please take a few steps away from the building before you fly off. You burned another entrance mat." Without turning around Dynamight just gave a two fingered salute in acknowledgment, disappearing around a corner.

Ok, what the actual fuck?

Looking over at Izuku, Dairoji's heart broke a little bit, because it was clear as Izuku's smile that he was a man too far gone. Even as Ms. Honey continued to tease him from the cube, his face flushed a perfect pretty pink, the grin on his slightly kiss swollen lips was too real. If he thought he had seen Izuku happy throughout the day so far, well, the sight before him, with his curls a mess as he tried to shake himself back into work mode had put it all to shame.

"Izuku, is it ok if I steal Dairoji for a moment?" The woman next to him, previously forgotten, asked, her arm curling around his own. "You can take the time to let the Endeavor Agency know that their order of thermal arm braces will be delayed by a week - they'll be fine with it, if the info comes from you."

"Yeah, of course, I'm sure Shoto will understand," Izuku said. "Just bring Dairoji back when you're done, please, Sakura."

Without waiting, the woman - Sakura - pulled Dairoji along, immediately muttering under her breath the moment they were out of earshot. "I'm sure Shoto is only so understanding because he's waiting for you to drop Blasty so he can tap that ass himself. Perfect sunshine bastard." A couple of turns had them at a different group of conference rooms, these much larger than the ones he and Izuku had been using previously. Opening the door, Sakura pushed him in before her, announcing their entrance to the group. "We got another one."

In front of Dairoji were perhaps a dozen or so people, all wearing the company lanyard he had been given earlier. One of the women waved, though most just shook their heads in a pitying, understanding way. Sakura wrapped her arm around his shoulders and gestured to the others. "Welcome to the 'hopelessly in love with their coworker Izuku' club." Ignoring his sputters of denial, Sakura let him go and flopped into a seat. A blue haired man cleared his throat, at least having the decency to look embarrassed.

"As you can see, your predicament isn't uncommon, and we will do our best to support you as you get used to your affections being unrequited. I know you might have a lot of questions about us and our involvement with Mr. Midoriya, but-"

"He already saw Blasty come by for his daily make out session," Sakura cut him off, a series of grumbles following her words. "Even got in a pretty good grope before Izuku became too embarrassed. Give it another 10 years of him working here and we might actually get a free show."

While the blue haired man looked right about ready to die, a neon red, human sized blob spoke up, wiggling as they spoke. "Get used to that quickly, kid," they said, their voice somewhere between amused and upset. "The media would have a field day if they found out that the great 'Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight' can't go twelve hours without a kiss from his boyfriend. And he'll spend the better part of an hour pouting at Izuku's desk or scaring interns if he's unavailable to give it to him right away."

"You'd never think such a scary pro hero was such a needy fucker, that's for sure." Dairoji couldn't see the person who said it, but it was clear everyone else, on one level or another, agreed. “Interrupts the rest of us, the day would go a lot better if he could just leave us alone for once.”

“Why doesn’t the company just ask him to stop coming,” Dairoji asked. It was clear enough people had an issue with the situation, one way or the other, so it shouldn’t be hard to put an end to it. And if this was a daily thing, well, Dairoji would be more than happy to avoid watching that. He didn’t want to see Izuku make out with anyone, especially his least favorite top ten hero. The look he received, however, made him wonder if he was still speaking Japanese or not. Going off just their faces, he could have just asked them to lick his feet.

“You want the company to ask the hero most well known for his anger management issues and propentesy for blowing shit up to not come visit his boyfriend when our building is literally in the middle of his patrol route?” The gray cat person who spoke up spoke slowly, as if Dairoji was a small child. “He doesn’t even need to do anything himself; he can just wait for the next villain attack and “get here late.”” Their paws flexed weirdly as they put air quotes around the phrase before licking at the back of their paw.

“Same if they try to fire Izuku,” Sakura added. “Not that they would. Izuku joined this place when it was still a startup, and I’m pretty sure he’s the entire reason it’s still standing. Add in the fact that half of Blasty’s old classmates are head over heels for the guy and just circling the waters waiting for blood, and he brings in a shit ton of business from them? Yeah, no, the company wouldn’t care if Izuku did nothing but ride Dyna’s dick all day at this point. He’s still made of gold as far as they’re concerned. Not that he would, the guy works hard and is great at the job too. It's like, six wins, at the cost of a kiss break each day.”

“He’s pur-fect,” the cat person purred, resting their chin on their paws. “And we get him so long as the company stays on top.”

Sakura kicked lightly at his leg from her chair. "So if you want to work here, kid, get used to it. And welcome to the club of broken hearts."

*~*

Dairoji did not, in fact, get used to it.

In fact, the more he worked with Izuku and the more he saw of Dynamight on the news, the more he was sure the couple just wasn't meant to be. Even if Izuku always seemed so excited to see his "Kacchan" at some point during the afternoon, it had to be some kind of act. A plea for help.

There was no way sweet, beautiful, wonderful Izuku could actually be in love and want to be with the arrogant, self centered, two seconds away from commiting murder brute that was Dynamight. So, in perhaps his best idea yet, Dairoji decided to confess, and help his beloved Izuku get away from the man obviously keeping him captive.

He waited until Ms. Honey was at a meeting - he still wasn't sure if he could trust her yet. She seemed close to both Izuku and Dynamight, but who her loyalties were with was unclear. Once the coast was clear, he knocked on the side of the soft panel, the noise just enough to get Izuku's attention from the design he'd been going over. "Izuku, can I talk to you for a sec?"

A brilliant smile, but only a fraction of the one he showed when around Dynamight. But now he was wondering how real it was, in comparison to the one Dairoji saw now. "Of course! Come in. How's the fabric coming along? Are you having any problems?"

"No, the project's going great. That new sample Creati sent over really helped, though there's still a few more tests we have to do to make sure it can stand up to high enough temperatures. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Dairoji shifted in the cube, glancing around to really take in Izuku's half for the first time. Everywhere was covered in either equipment designs or hero merch, an overwhelming amount of it All Might and Dynamight themed. "No, I wanted to talk to you about something more...personal."

Concern on Izuku's face, he slid a cover over the design he had been tweaking and turned his chair fully towards Dairoji. For the first time he was frowning, a sight that sent pain into Dairoji's heart, though he forced himself to remain strong. This was for both of them. "Of course. I'm always available to listen, whatever you need."

A deep breath. A slow, slightly trembling exhale as he forced himself to be ready. Dairoji bowed forward as he spoke, perhaps a bit too quickly, his ass bumping into something behind him. But he couldn't stop, he had to get the words out, not even bothering to check the thump of something falling. "Izuku, I love you, and I-"

"Kacchan!"

The cry was so heartbreakingly devastated that, for a moment, Dairoji thought something had happened to the hero. Some news bulletin had popped up on Izuku's computer, and his love confession had been interrupted by Dynamight being in the hospital or dead. But no, Izuku brushed past him and knelt on the floor, large tears falling from his beautiful eyes as he gently retrieved the figure that Dairoji had apparently knocked from its stand on a little shelf behind him.

He couldn't help the small jolt of satisfaction at seeing the hero's body in one of Izuku's hands, the toy's head in the other.

“I’m so sorry Izuku,” Dairoji said, quickly covering any offensive feelings as he knelt next to his angelic coworker. “I didn’t realize I was so close to your shelf. I can try to fix-” Dairoji froze under the acidic glare, his blood freezing as the soft green eyes he had fallen in love with almost seemed to glow with anger and malice. He didn’t know his coworker’s quirk, didn’t know what exactly Izuku was going to do to him, but he could feel just how much danger he was in.

“...HR won’t help you. Izuku is the best employee we have here, they’ll choose him over you anyday.”

Sakura’s words, while in a different context, circled through his mind as they crouched there, as he was examined and found so, so wanting in the eyes of the man he had thought he had loved. But now he knew it was a lie, he was only in love with the siren mask that hid whatever this drowning depth was, this pit that wasn’t threatening but just explaining exactly how it would be pulling him under, dismembering and destroying him so nothing would ever be found. And if a trace ever did show up, well, that’s what the boyfriend was for.

“Oi, Deku, Extra, what are you two doing down there?”

Speak of the devil with all his saving grace, the sight of Dynamight sent Dairoji into a frantic crawl, hiding behind the hero’s legs as he looked back at Izuku. The hero was an asshole, and this was his boyfriend, but he still had to save people, right? Even the people who pissed off said boyfriend? He couldn’t just stand by and let Izuku kill him, that wouldn’t be very heroic of him. But it was Dynamight, did he really care?

Izuku looked up, kneeling on the ground, his broken toy in his hands and his eyes wide and glimmering with unshed tears, and Dairoji wasn’t sure he would survive.

“He broke you, Kacchan.” The words were wobbly, his voice cracking, the first tear slowly trickling down his cheek, making the most pitiful scene Dairoji had ever seen. Even knowing his hide was on the line he still wanted to reach out, to comfort him, the fury that had scared him before now replaced with such a deep, beautiful sorrow it hurt. He wiped at his own cheeks, something to keep his hands from reaching out, knowing his touch might not be welcomed.

Dynamight snorted. “Really, Deku? Over that piece of shit? It’s not even official merch; I can get you a dozen better ones by tonight. Just pitch it.”

“Really? They’ll all be different designs and poses? And you’ll sign all of them?” The switch from almost sobbing to overly excited - in any other context - would have been adorable. Now, however, it was terrifying, keeping Dairoji tied to the spot behind Dynamight he had retreated to. How did the hero deal with Izuku’s changes, especially such drastic ones over something as small as a toy?

“Of course, nerd. Now hand it over.” Izuku held out the remains of his beloved figure, allowing the hero to take the pieces from his palms. Dynamight scoffed as Izuku wiped his face clean, examining the figure up close to see just how bad it was. “I’ll never understand why you’d waste your money on this crap when it’s not even that good. Shitty knockoff bullshit.” A small explosion, and the trash can now held a smoldering, melted, ashy mess the janitorial staff wouldn’t be pleased to find.

Izuku just rubbed the back of his head. “They got your eyes right. I love your eyes.”

A long moment where none of them moved, Izuku looking up from his spot on the floor at Dynamight, Dynamight looking down at Izuku, Dairoji looking between them. Finally Dynamight just groaned and shook his head, pulling out a phone from his belt.

“Yeah, it’s me.” The phone hadn’t even rung before it had been picked up, meaning it was probably some kind of direct line. “Yeah, no, it’s about what we talked about. I have the time. That good?” A moment of quiet. “Thanks, I’ll catch you up later.” That phone back into his belt, Dynamight reached over Izuku’s head for his desk phone. It didn’t take long for him to find the number he wanted, dialing it in and listening to the wait tones. “No, it’s Dynamight,” he replied when the other end picked up. “I’m just letting you know that Izuku’s taking a half day today. I don’t know if he’ll be coming in tomorrow either. I’ll let you know.”

“K-kacchan, what do you mean I’m taking a half day? I have work an-”

His protests were cut off as Dynamight scooped Izuku into his arms, a quick princess hold as he pressed a kiss to his lips to quiet him before shifting him over his shoulder, smacking his ass as Izuku squeaked and squirmed upside down. “You can’t say shit like that and expect me to not take you home to wreck you. This is your fault, Deku. Take responsibility.”

Izuku finally stopped resisting and went limp in Dynamight’s arms, laughing hysterically as the pro-hero carted him out of the cube. They took up talking as Dynamight walked, Izuku holding on to his belt to give him arms something to do besides swing wildly, demanding to know exactly what pieces of official Dynamight merch he was going to get later.

Not once did either of them even acknowledge Dairoji existed, as if he had stopped being part of the physical realm the moment they became aware of each other.

“I’m surprised,” Ms. Honey said with a shake of her head, leaning over him to look at the mess in the trash can. “Last time someone broke one of Izuku’s figures, they needed Recovery Girl to pull the pieces out of their ass. Looks like you got off light, especially since you were going after a taken man.” She looked at him over the rims of her glasses, the disapproval clear in her eyes and voice, if not her words. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

That day he put in a transfer request to a different department. There were plenty of projects that he could work on, plenty of projects that would keep him far away from the beautiful, perfect, terrifying Izuku Midoriya and his explosive boyfriend.

Or, well, fiance, as he found out when Izuku returned a few days later with a limp and a ring, the company grape vine (aka the lunch drunk 'hopelessly in love with their coworker Izuku' club) informing him. A fiance that gave him a look he realized he recognized, had seen before in the scariest moment of his life, a look from Dynamight that now meant almost nothing.

He really should have stayed with Mei.

[END]

If there are any questions/requests, I have a Curious Cat and a Retrospring! :3

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And if you would like to support me, I have a Ko-fi! :3c Tips are appreciated! Comms are open, so if you're interested, info is on my Ko-fi page.  

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[guhmblr]

Ok, spoilers for this year hellfire gala. This is going to be an overall gush, probably barely coherent. I’ll try to intercalate positive and negatives?

What in the actual fuck?!

First of all, the Kamala resurrection was exactly as meaningless, corporative and boring as expected. I just can’t wait to see what stupid power they come up with as her mutant gift (supposing of course that the terrigen/x-gene incompatibility will be solved trivially on an artificially convenient moment [like her whole death and resurrection was]). Also (and I’m jumping the horse a little, but this is a really meaningless nitpick that just stayed on my mind) how does she know the X-men red triangle psychic resistance thingy?

Scott wearing his old Champions suit? Complete flop. He can’t sell it at all. But I do find it cute and endearing, and this is exactly the pathetic Summers behavior that I’m here for.

The G.O.D.S. cameo was really clunky. I mean, I know nothing about those people, apart that they didn’t help at all on the whole thing (and maybe they have a reason for that. I wouldn’t know) and that Wyn is hot. I may give it a chance for more Wyn.

Speaking of hot, David? Slay. Emma? Slay. Jubilation? Slay. Kate? Omega slay. Like, if this is the last hellfire (and I don’t mean this on a “wow, this could have everlasting consequences” way, but a “yeah, I don’t think they should try to sell this idea again for two or three years”), at least they could serve until the end. Imagine how funny all the Charles drama would be if he was wearing his stupid baby pope atire from the first gala?!

The avengers? As pointless as expected. Nothing new under the sun, and I actually appreciate that they are useless on X-titles.

About the New York Arbor Magna thing, can we please have Cyclops leading the team on a wheelchair for like… this whole phase? It would be so weird, and fun, and iconic! Like, having Charles walking around (or, I don’t know, dying alone on that freaking beach? I would enjoy that.) and Scott brooding on a chair? Absolutely fantastic. I do think Emma and Scott leading again could be a nice echo to last time.

Because… we are having a new (supposedly) mutant genocide again. Imagine being resurrected from Genosha, or Decimation, or the Terrigen stuff, and immediately dying again? Lol. The concept is so so overdone at this point. It doesn’t preserve the impact at all.

On the other hand, you know that post about how every queer person has a universe-appointed C tier X-men character to love and cherish? I do think my baby Explodey-boy is dead know. Absolutely homophobic behavior.

I do enjoy Stasis and Nimrod very much. At this point, I would devour an orchis tittle if they promised me absolute lack of Moira and Feilong (as they are, in fact, shit). When Stasis said that Charles understood powers of ten? And the dancing? Send me shivers. Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping (…).

I also think Jean stole the scene a little bit. I’m not usually a Jean stan, but god dammit she is so strong. And like, not only in the Omega Telepath Phoenix way, she has so much presence and name, inside and outside the world, that so much can be supported by her. I feel like the whole story is hanging by her absoluteness of a character. And Maddie holding her??? Aaaaaa

That’s it, I guess… just wanted to do my overall first impression. I do like the Krakoa era very much, and the last decade or so have taught me to take apparent big status quo changes with a grain of salt (I mean, Emma is supposed to marry flop Stark in four or five chapters, right?! Things should probably be relatively stable by them), but I can see myself enjoying the change of pace a little.

By far the worst gala? Yeah. For sure. Like, criminally bad chapter. But I do see some things planted that could end up being really fun.

[x-authorship-x]

"One, maybe you should kill Tenzo, and then he comes back as a little mokuton seedling. like that Groot feller. (i think Yamato did get roped into the Uchiha OP nonsense late in the war, to much dismay.) and somehow Shisui's guilt manifests greater than Kakashi's, so he carries a little pot around, everywhere. I mean what's better to do to a speedster than to give him an escort mission? Entire Yamanaka clan yelling gardening advice in his head, yes? yes? Two, I have been captured by this mental image of all the freed ROOTlets following Shisui. Ino gamely tries to help all her new cousins, but it's no use. Super expressive Shisui is stuck with a whole crowd that by contrast highlights just how much more dramatic Itachi is. like he shook the tree and everything fell out" - Anon

One - baby plant pot Yamato is such a cute mental image but holy crap the angst, and now I'm concerned that Hashirama isn't dead but chilling out on someone's windowsill just vibing 🤡 omg imagine if Shizune had to cart him around in one arm with TonTon in the other, watching on as Tsunade loses every poker game 🤡

Two - I've done this! Kinda....😅🥴 It's really fucking angsty and doesn't actually cover the "outsider" reaction to Shisui's ROOT ducklings yet but still! 🤣 A Concept of Loyalty

[mildiva]

CC REVIEW

prefacing this by saying i have little aside from praise for Beyoncé and Cowboy Carter as an album like… Beyoncé has done it again! what can i say? she knows how to make music. i literally cannot stop listening to about half of the album. YAYA to the end might be perfect actually? anyways

okay let's do the tracks one by one now.

American requiem - beautiful gets gospel and classical like part writing in there, the continuo happening is crazy 2 me

Blackbird - gorgeous, wish we got a little more from tanner adell and co. also what is that mysterious ticking noise??? asking the Beatles that question. why is a click track running

16 carriages- only weird thing: how are you STILL underpaid… aren’t you your own boss? still a beautiful epic ballad epic! dying to know what the two different crashes in the chorus are

Protector - kind of perfect. when she performs this live?? The stadium will flood. “I will be your projector!”

My rose- love triple time love three party harmony. she Trinity’d on this one, also acts as a little coda for the first arc of the album

Smoke hour - hi Willie! I think the radio concept is very effective

Texas Hold’Em -pour that liquor on me honey… my favorite of the two initial singles… also the whole “young and going anywhere and in love” thing yas. ALSO the banjo playing is such a treat. whatever the short time between the rumors she was doing a country album and the release of texas hold 'em i DID think "wow i hope she gets rhiannon giddens involved"

Bodyguard - like 6 months after Texas hold em.. so much more sing, bass is just sitting while beyonce flies over it all... also she's a genius for making "kevlar" three syllables. not much more i can say except i cannot stop singing it

Dolly P - “that cameo by Dolly Parton, and i DO mean cameo as in the app” - macy rodman

Jolene - personally i think the weakest song on the album.. many have said how weird it is that she turned such a lesbicious song into this defense of heterosexual marriage.. i think it works best if you imagine that Jolene has no interest in her man and Miss Carter is wildly jealous.

also weird bc in most of the love songs it sounds like she’s singing as a much younger woman in life and love so like.. is this autobiographical? bc, Lemonade does exist. Anyways

One last thing - very funny for this to be Jay-Z’s only credit on the album and he’s clapping. you have to laugh!

Daughter - she beat Jolene ! of course only deep love for the caro mio Ben interpolation and thrumming guitar throughout… and her deep contempt for her father is sooooooo lmao. I need to read interviews from Miss Tina

Spaghetti - i saw so much hate for this online and. sure it’s weird but Essential to the project of CC. also Beyoncé rapping in triple time is not smth I’m doing to diss. it's cunty country time

Alligator Tears- maybe i just love all her ballad-y love songs… the banjo (?) line on this is gorgina, the low harmonies, the altered idiom… like yes

Smoke Hour II - very funny and pointed, literally telling the listener what to think. preaching to the choir willie!

Just for Fun - mmm yes… bc I can’t read i thought this was Willie Nelson singing at first.. getting a little more gospel in here... i actually wish Willie Jones had a whole verse to himself!

II Most Wanted - incredible, wish Miley took the harmony on the second verse or smth… also so weird that she did this and Jolene. which is it??? R u gay or not. Well, does that really matter?

Levis Jeans - fun and cute. did not realize Mr. Post was named that. also interesting which white artists she chooses to work with… Post Malone is very much giving Florida Georgia Line/a “hip hop” artist who would feature on a country song. "Baby let me rattle that snake with my venom" is really good.

Flamenco - similar to My rose, closes this little arc very neatly. it’s doing its job!

The Linda Martell Show - once again doing the work. it’s 15 seconds

Ya ya -literally this launches the insatiable arc to the end. planting us in the 60s with the sexiest sample ever (bass line from boots were made for walking), the good vibrations interpolation, the rock vocals… it’s kind of everything. this more than anything makes me want a rock album from her

Oh Louisiana - genuinely no shade but how IS Beyoncé the sole artist on this? id kill to read the agreement between her and chuck berry's estate

Desert Eagle - I did not realize this song was only one minute long at first… she gives us so much. “Do si do and it gets creamy in the middle” is NASTY! and that wet slap bass thing? yes. just yes.

Riverdance - BOUNCE on that shit.. The slightly off kilter guitars and echoing sustained piano yasss..Steve reich is kinda quaking in xir boots

II hands II heaven - she put something in this i cried at a traffic light imagining a love like “put my feet on the dashboard, now go really fast boy” anyways the chugging in this slash galloping that’s in tyrant and sweet honey omg. like the gallop starts here

Tyrant - she’s still cooking the pot is still BOILING… that clap pattern could kill in a classroom. idk if like 3rd graders “should “be listening to it but OMG ...“5’9 thique and fine” she’s just like me... the harmonies not quite gelling with the beat at the end yes please!

Sweet honey buckin - that piano accordion vocal sample whatever is wheeeeezing... is this zydeco? she’s going home her man is dead!!! and the patsy cline interpolation yes yes yes. that doo wop sound is so sexy

Amen - Pitch cue cueing up the beginning of the album.. mwah. Very much a reprise of the first track, love to the plagal cadence as always.

overall, I love love love what she's doing. Beyoncé is so good at pretending to be herself it’s crazy like when is it her when is it “cowboy Carter” or the character… which is named after her... not to go for the easy analysis but the brechtian bits like the pitch cues and the interlude videos literally showing the titans of country as PUPPETS... like there is no illusion that this is not a performance.

which i think works so well for like. her thesis? what she's trying to say. like it is an exploration of the Blackness and Black music in country music but also she's not going old-time with it. so many of these songs sound like "radio country." and I think there's two parts to her point: the music that country was born from and country itself was pioneered by Black musicians (blues, zydeco, GOSPEL, "folk" and "old-time" music), but also that country music today has cribbed so much for hip hop. the country purists look foolish and more nakedly racist when Florida Georgia Line exists. maybe the purists are denouncing them too! but the radio stations are not.

now for the "critique"

my issue with CC is political, obvi. i feel comfortable critiquing Beyoncé on this bc 1) i think she’s wrong and 2) she’s playing with some of my favorite concepts (i love Genre) so i feel semi in my lane. where the album falls apart is when it comes to America. beyonce, bianca, ms. carter, you're right. there IS a whole lot of red in that white and blue that history can't erase! this house WAS built on blood and bones! Them big and old ideas ARE buried here! now i'm going to turn your question back to you: can YOU stand for something? idk, your vision of a new America, or a rehabbed America, feels very flat in the face of failing to extend a lick of solidarity to Palestinians begging you to pull your movie from being shown in Israel. You certainly don't need the money. like i want to believe you are trying to say something but what the hell is it? what is this American you envision? it doesn't seem like anything would change.

anyways loved the album! will be singing so many of these songs for years to come.

[cure-meadow]

Rate the Seasons - Heartcatch

I tried my best not to add many spoilers and while there aren't many there are a few small ones so tread with caution. I wrote this while watching it so some of these thoughts are from the beginning before knowing everything. I watched this after Max Heart which is why I keep comparing it to it.

Plot: 8/10

The desertians are trying to make the earth a desert by destroying the heart tree

They look at people’s hearts and find those who have “wilting flowers” (something is upsetting them) and turn them into monsters

Precure fight the monsters and turn them back into people and then their heart flowers bloom again

It’s an okay plot line I liked the plot concept for Max Heart more

I like that the grandmother who used to be a precure is involved with this generation of precures

Loved the addition of the baby

Loved the twist ending with cure moonlight and dark precure

Loved this ending so much it adds an extra point to the plot score

Cures: 7/10

Cure Blossom (Tsubomi)

She’s okay

Kinda shy at first

Becomes pretty popular in school

Her transformation look is my favourite

I like her love for plants

Cure Marine (Erika)

I thought she was a bit annoying at first but that’s kinda the point of her character

She’s really funny

I like that she has autistic traits

Special interest in fashion

Difficulty communicating neurotypically

She often says if you don’t explain it I won’t understand which to me implies she doesn’t really get body language and general communication nuances

I like that she’s really into fashion

Her hair in the transformation looks kinda like a wig

Cure Sunshine (Itsuki)

I love how androgynous she is

For the first little bit of the show we are made to think she’s a boy

I like her inner battle of enjoying masculine things like martial arts but also liking girly things like fashion

Her backstory with her brother is also really interesting

I’m not a big fan of her transformation look but I do like everything else about her as a cure

Her staple is sunflowers and she’s the most powerful of the 3 younger girls

Cure Moonlight (Yuri)

She really rubbed me the wrong way at the beginning and again I think she’s supposed to be like that to enhance her character arch

Her whole thing is that she has a lot of trauma which makes her kinda cold and standoffish but I find it a bit excessive to the point of mean sometimes

Her transformation is my least favourite of the cures

It’s kinda boring

A weird shade of silver/purple

She is the most powerful of all of them though

Fairies: 4/10

I honestly am not a fan of the fairies at all this season, they lack any personality

They’re so forgettable that after 30 episodes I only know one of their names

Chypre

Forgettable

Can’t think of a single thing to say about her

The heart seeds come out of her butt and it’s so stupid

Coffret

Forgettable

Can’t think of a single thing to say about him

Coupe

Kinda weird that he is so huge

Cute though

I like that he turns into a guy that helps the precures from time to time

Potpourri

The only one with any real personality

Cute

Bit of a cry baby

The youngest of the bunch

Very attached to Cure Sunshine

Cologne

We don’t know much about him but he does add a good backstory to Cure Moonlight

Villains: 7/10

They’re pretty neutral for me, nothing overly memorable

Dark precure is the most interesting out of the bunch and would be interested in learning more of her backstory (which we do)

Don’t really see much of the Boss until the end

I enjoyed the twist at the end about Sabaku

This twist again gives villains an extra point

Magical Items: 5/10

I hate the perfume to transform, I think it’s just silly

I preferred the phones from futari wa honestly and I didn’t like those either

The transformation scenes however are very pretty and interesting

I like that Blossom and Marine have wands and a wide array of powers to use from 

Sunshine has a tambourine and a magical shield she can use which is super fun

Moonlight also has a wand

Overall Season Rating: 6.5/10

Theme: flowers, fashion, and hearts

[izakk-tiberius-kyle]

FUCK IT I'm just gonna talk about it-

This man's home is CLUTTERED in such a homey way. It's like an ISpy book but LIT THE FUCK UP in mood lighting.

String lights?

Fairy lights?

Lava lamps?

Random cute lights?

Galaxy lights? Multiple

Lamps lamps lamps-

JUST LIGHTS SO MANY LIGHTS.

NO BIG LIGHT FUCK THAT THING.

Obviously STICKERS EVERYWHERE

So random notes, things he cut out, posters, magazine pages etc taped to the walls.

A whole wall dedicated to family and friends in an array of unique thrifted or hand made frames and Polaroids he drew on and sticker bombed-

His bedroom? The biggest example of this.

That's his safe space

You can't see an inch of his navy blue walls but he took the time to paint every wall anyway because he couldn't NOT.

His bed is covered in a nest of thrifted or handmade quilts, blankets, stuffed animals, and pillows. The only thing bought new is his mattress.

His desk? Covered in projects and blue prints. Sticky notes of doodles (some he saved from @ni0x btw) and reminders of things he needs to do later. Little figurines and fidgets to help him focus and think.

Obviously the desk is covered in stickers.

His ceiling? Glow in the dark stars, tapestries, more random things taped up, lanterns, curtain lights, fake vines and plants hanging down, random ropes of things like pearls, beads, buttons, dried fruits, etc just hanging down.

His floor? Covered in layered old vintage rugs and occasionally some random thing he just tossed onto the floor and forgot to pick up.

His bathroom? Serene and surprisingly simple. Just a couple paintings he did hung up and a mural of the forest on the walls. He tiled the shower himself using old mosaic glass he just found scrounging around or thrifting (most if not all his stuff is thrifted, stolen, or he just found or made it) and he made Van Gogh's Starry Night out of them. Floor is more simple with seafoam green diamond tiles. Sink he painted with tile paint and put cherry blossoms on it.

His kitchen? So so cozy. Small and compact with dark mahogany cabinets Jason helped him install, pink faux marble counters because he just fell in love with it. His stove is an old bronze colored thing that looks straight out of a steampunk concept. He found it and refused to leave it behind. His fridge is just an old white fridge but it's covered in his massive magnet collection from places his been, thrift shops, gifts from other people's travels, and pictures alley kids drew him, the rest kept safely in a box under his bed.

His dining table is just an old red door he turned into a table by attaching old broken off black table legs he found and added a food safe coating over the paint, still leaving the old cracked and chipped look. His centerpiece being a purple crystal shaped vade filled with origami roses he made with Cass and Damian out of Magazines.

His chairs are all mismatched, there's four out, a plush green arm chair with a leaf pattern embroidered into it and pinewood, a red painted chair he just tossed an old baby blue cushion onto, a yellow stool he painted pink roses and vines onto, and his favorite chair, a soft plush navy blue armchair he stole from Lex Luthor's office when he was 15. He sits in it every time he eats.

His hallway is wallpapered with an old purple floral wallpaper he found in an old basement exploring abandoned homes, it was discolored and a little stained, but he loved it. The walls lined with pictures of newspaper clips of his family both in and out of costume.

His living room is like an old witch grandma's paradise. A large worn but so so soft deep yellow couch in the center, trinket shelves filled with random trinkets he's found over the years covered the walls, ranging from crystals, bones, toys, bottle caps, buttons, etc. His ceiling pained like a cloudy day. No tv to be found, just a projector screen and a projector on the cluttered coffee table. The table being an old hand made thing an old lady he used to be neighbors with let him have before she passed away. It being covered in books and random screws, paint brushes, bullets, and always at least two coffee mugs he forgot about.

The entire left wall of his living room is lined with random mismatched bookshelves filled with books, varied interests can be found in these books. Some of the shelves are just multiple tiny shelves stacked up onto each other. Lined from ceiling to floor.

I need to know the vibe of Izakk's home

(oh man I don't think Tumblr lets you add enough pictures to one post for this I got so much inspo-)

[anxiouspotatorants]

It is time. It is finally time for the new Suicide Squad rant (and spoilers will be plentiful):

As someone who was into DC Comics and comics in the mid to late 2010s and had so much hype for the first Suicide Squad movie only to be let down, I was so nervous for this one. I knew it was going to be a roller coaster, but whether I would come out happy or disappointed was up in the air. Having just seen it I will say this: I have no idea if this was a good movie-movie. It was insane. The comedy. The violence. The high emotion. I’m still trying to take it all in. But one thing I do know is that this is an amazing Suicide Squad movie. Gunn and co took the best parts of the comic concept and went batshit with it and that is how this property should be handled (in my opinion). Screw edgelordisms, we need full on insanity free of aiming for shock-value or sexy brutality we want chaos baby.

Starting the whole movie as they did, with Savant as the POV for a mission (or part of the mission) that just goes to hell immediately and kills off so many before the title arrives is the perfect way to start this movie. Like the second I realized this was how they were doing it I was just smiling from ear to ear, this is the spirit of the property.

Part of me wishes we got more Amanda Waller, but what we had was impeccable. Then again, this is Viola Davis we’re talking about, and if she was born to play any character in a superhero story, it is Amanda Waller.

And points to her tech team, introducing them with the death bets was just a lovely way to show how regular this is and how awful everyone is in this movie.

I’m not going to pretend like Deadshot and Bloodsport didn’t have the exact same character- and plot premises… but I will say that Bloodsport felt better executed.

I love that they kept some of the past members and not just Harley. Rick Flag got to have a full personality and interactions with his team members and to be a true leader and it made me so happy for someone who initially did not give a single shit about his character. The Harley friendship? The Dubois friendship? The friendship with that guerilla leader? Amazing. The one American soldier in fictional media I genuinely like. You go Mr Flag.

The new members were… they were insane in the best way. Gone are the shitty stereotypes and present are some of the wackiest creations to ever grace the mainstream movie-sphere (aka the slightly less normal comic creations): A man who has to shoot out polka dots two times a day so as not to die from a space virus. A giant child murdering weasel. A guy who detaches his limbs and slaps people with said detached limbs. King Shark. The second person to command rats with a fancy gadget. They are all crazy and all weird and all more or less morally repulsive people and I love them.

The amount of times I did a double take over the soundtrack I swear. Jessie Reyez? The Pixies? It was so much fun to pick up on once I did.

Was the depiction of a vague Latin American country stereotypical? Yes. Was the secret American involvement predictable and felt mildly patronizing from a non-American, part Latina point of view? Yep. But damn it if I didn’t have a good time with those stereotypes and laugh my ass off at how well executed some were. I don’t know if it was meant as parody, but that one secretary has me thinking so — and if so I am pleased.

Speaking of Latino dictators Harley’s one day romance with one of the villains was something I never knew I needed. Like it was so perfect for Harley that when it happened I almost hit myself for not realizing that this kind of plot should be a normal thing for Harley. And the end of it? Perfect not only in this standalone movie, but also in conjunction with the first and with BoP.

The Taika Waititi cameo??? Oh my god??? I did not expect that and I love it?? Sir, What We Do in the Shadows is impeccable.

Rick Flag’s death actually surprised me. It shouldn’t as this is Suicide Squad, but I kind of expected him to be on Harley’s level of unkillable (because let’s face it, no one kills Harley). What I will say is that his death was good and his final words and actions made me love him all the more. I hope this spawns more Rick Flag content, or at least inspires me to look at what already exists, if he already is as this movie made him (it’s been ages since I read one of the Suicide Squad reboot comics okay).

Starro. How can a villain be so wacky and so terrifying at the same time? I did not expect a literal alien starfish to have more terrifying powers and a more tragic plot execution than Enchantress. But here we are. And that damn star just wanted to be floating in space, and instead it was stuck getting revenge by killing and puppeteering human corpses. Wow that thing was creepier the more you think about it.

I don’t know what I think about Polka Dot Man. I loved watching him on screen but also damn those mommy-issues were on a new level. Not just in his backstory but how he literally sees her in every person around him that was insane. Very funny but like also the kind that makes you laugh just because you’re uncomfortable and don’t know how else to releive the tension.

When Waller got knocked out by a staff member I immediately thought «oh my god Amanda Waller is going to kill half the staff for this», so I’m mildly surprised and disappointed that I didn’t get to see that happen. But also I should maybe expect something like this in a potential future Suicide Squad movie. We can’t have everything in a movie as packed as this.

Peacemaker was very horrible and worked really well. Don’t really have much to say about him, not because I didn’t enjoy him but because I already feel like the film itself has said it for me. But the planting and payoff for his death? Chef’s. Kiss.

Harley’s wardrobe was beautiful. Ratcatcher 2’s combat outfit felt like a steampunk plague dream. Bloodsport’s mask was supercool. Rick Flag’s t-shirt was amazing. But the best little outfit was the Mafalda-keychain and her red dress, hands down. Oh and King Shark’s fake moustache finger moment.

King Shark is shaped like a friend I don’t care how many people he ate alive on screen he looks so huggable. It feels like wanting to pet a bear. You know it will kill you but damn it look at those paws and those cute eyes!

I really need to give it to not just James Gunn but the entire production team for this movie. The aesthetic was perfect. The story was the right blend of whimsical and violent. The finished product was a literal rollercoaster and I mean that in a good way. If superhero movies have to be like amusement parks, I hope they’re more like this one and BoP.

I’ll finish on the note that while I think this movie was great and hopefully a step in the right direction for the DCU/DCEU (as in stop trying to play Marvel’s game and just do your own thing/ let your creative teams run wild and free), it is not the first step. Cathy Yan, Birds of Prey and the production team for it took a step first, and they deserve due credit and attention. If you loved this Suicide Squad movie and haven’t watched BoP yet, do so. Because they really are in the same ballpark while doing things in slightly different ways. And any good DCEU movie deserves more attention so the studios know that creativity and risks should be rewarded. I want more DC movies like this, not necessarily in genre but in creative risks. I want a Black Canary rock movie. I want Alfred in a reverse heist movie alone in the batcave against Gotham villains. I want Gotham Academy on screen play by play from the comics. I want a fully animated psychedelic-like Khalid Nassour as Dr. Fate movie. I want elevated horror movie Constantine. I want weird ass Lois Lane journalist movies with a heavy side of Superman. And I want DC movies I didn’t even know I wanted.

Support creativity in mainstream comic movies. Help me become a DC fan and happy about it again.