#the whole military: yes we know you love lena we get it shes the light of your life we know you love her yes we know you love lena WE GET I

[effei-s]

What shatter-me Warner would do.

The fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the thing: Warner from original trilogy had character arch. More important: he was a character.

He was mean, villainous, cold, cruel murderer, with daddy who basically bought him regency (like come on, if it wasn’t for Anderson no one would even think about giving him that position; n for nepotism), but he also was deeply traumatized and abused his whole life and had little to none normal human interactions. I loved that fact that the only good thing he did (killing Fletcher because he was abusing his family) resolved into a complete catastrophe (Anderson killing children and wife) because Warner didn’t think it through. He tried to do the right thing and failed miserably, because he was more concerned with making a spectacle for Juliette. And after that he still had the audacity to paint himself as a hero who saved poor family from terrible tyrant in Ignite me.

I didn’t expect him to act and think like a human being. He didn’t need to act like a normal human. Warner gas lighting Juliette in the first third of ignite me is Warner’s thing to do. Him yelling and throwing tantrums and making scenes in Unravel me is Warner’s thing to do. Him forcing Juliette to do things she doesn’t want and traumatizing her in the process in Shatter me is Warner’s thing to do. Him wanting to torture Adam to death is Warner’s thing to want.

There’s a few reasons for this:

a) he doesn’t know how to communicate with people other than giving them orders or making threats;

b) he truly believes that he’s in the right here (he doesn’t see himself as a bad guy in Juliette story, more like a knight on a white horse);

c) he’s physically unable to be honest with himself and always has someone to blame for his own mistakes and failures;

d) he’s ‘results justify the means’ kind of guy.

Changes for good, with trauma that deep, when you basically don’t have a moral compass, don’t happen over night.

Was his ignite-me arch made sloppy? Yes. Everything was too info-dumpy and too convenient (Juliette forgetting that Warner was going to torture Adam to death; Juliette feeling that she’s the one who needs to apologize; Leila’s entire character used only for a sob story; Adam turned into a douchebag so Warner would look a more suitable love interest, etc). But it still was an arch. And the finale of ignite me was so open I really could imagine that, little by little, in the future, he will start to trust people more and really gonna help Juliette and co to make the world a better place. And his redemption arch wasn’t finished in the slightest, and I would even say that it was only the beginning of it, but it was implied that things will get better from there (the most important part of that being him genuinely wanting to make things right with Adam and James; he’s the one who makes the first step and initiate the bond).

So what went wrong in new three books? Ehm… everything, to be honest. Instead of developing a character that was already there, she decided to give him a new personality. Actually it can be said about every single one of characters, but Warner just happened to be the biggest victim of them all.

Let’s look at Restore me.

Okay, we have his pov, and I never thought I would say it but… Warner is kinda dumb. He’s supposed to be this military strategy genius, someone who knows how RE works from within and… it turns out that he just as clueless as Juliette. More than this, we never actually see him do ANYTHING except fucking Juliette. And for some reasons he never helps Juliette with her work??? There’s so much paperwork and instead of helping her to sort though it he’s… just not there???

Those stupid long monologues about how she’s capable to do anything mean nothing if he doesn’t actually help (as we can see at the end of restore me, when Juliette gets captured).

That fact that he doesn’t immediately check if Castle’s words are true? And instead of helping Juliette with Haider (telling everything he knows about him and his family, preparing her for the dinner) he fucks her??? This is a dumb bitch shit. And maybe you didn’t noticed but Shatter-me Warner wasn’t a dumb bitch.

After all, there’s a simple reason I never wanted the job of supreme commander myself—

I never wanted the responsibility.

It’s a tremendous amount of work with far less freedom than one might expect; worse, it’s a position that requires a great deal of people skills. The kind of people skills that include both killing and charming a person at a moment’s notice. Two things I detest.

Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted power because power meant that he could have control over his life? Remember shatter-me Warner who wanted to work with Juliette as a team to change the world? Yeah that’s him now.

No personal ambitions allowed when you’re a walking dildo, I guess.

Off the topic, but Mafi really enjoys making Juliette stupid as fuck:

“Oh, yes, of course,” she says, remembering. “I’ve gotten a bunch of letters about that. I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

Let's continue.

Hurting Haider would be enough to start a world war.

Warner says and then Juliette threatens Haider, a foreign official on a diplomatic mission, and instead of being even a little bit worried and think about possible consequences, Warner thinks this:

But I can only smile at her. I want to scoop her up and carry her away. Take her somewhere quiet and lose myself in her.

Okay, I guess it’s official, there’s sperm inside of his head instead of brain cells. I can’t find any other explanation for this clownery.

Shatter-me Warner would… Shatter-me Warner won’t be in this situation in the first place.

Someone tries to kill Juliette and Warner does… nothing about it. He never goes to check the body of the assassin himself. He thinks that Nazeera hides something and he still allows her to go around and doesn’t even interrogate her when Juliette says that Nazeera was there at the moment of the attack. He doesn’t find it even a little bit suspicious? That guy who had tremendous trust issues in the original trilogy? Remember him? Yeah, that guy. Shatter-me Warner would lock Nazeera and Haider up and demanded answers. Shatter-me Warner would be angry as fuck, and would try to kill Kenji with his bare hands, because Kenji was stupid enough to leave Juliette alone. Shatter-me Warner wouldn’t stop until he had answers (and the head of a person who wanted to kill Juliette on a plate).

New Warner is too busy feeling sorry for himself to actually do anything about it. And after one chapter it’s completely forgotten, like that fact that someone tried to kill her is not important at all.

And then Castle enters the picture with his stupid and sloppy info-dumping (I guess Mafi never heard of ‘show don’t tell’ rule). And says this:

“She can’t lead this resistance,” he says, squinting at something in the distance. “She’s too young. Too inexperienced. Too angry. You know that, don’t you?”

and if that wasn’t enough he also says this:

“It should’ve been you,” Castle says. “I always secretly hoped—from the day you showed up at Omega Point—that it would’ve been you. That you would join us. And lead us.” He shakes his head. “You were born for this. You would’ve managed it all beautifully.”

AND HE’S STILL ALIVE AFTER?

This is a fucking treason right there. And Warner A-OKAY with this.

Shatter-me Warner would strangle him right there. Or better yet, he would go along with this until he has 100% evidences of Castle’s betrayal and then he would kill him. Or he would kill him simply because Castle was withholding important information and earlier in books he put Juliette in a great danger by sending her to Anderson without telling her the truth (unravel me).

But not this Warner. New Warner is far more concerned with fucking Juliette then helping her or looking for a way out of this situation (because now he has dick instead of a brain).

After my father’s revelation, my thirst for information became suddenly insatiable. I needed to know more—who these people were, where they’d come from, how much we’d known—

WHERE AND WHEN DID WARNER IN PREVIOUS BOOKS DISPLAY THIS?

When I say that Mafi simply forgot her own characters this is what I mean. Warner from original trilogy didn’t give a flying fuck about them. He thought that they were weak and stupid.

I will lose her.

And it will kill me.

He said this shit and after he nearly had a panic attack because he imagined her dating someone else? Oh, come on, how more pathetic can he get?

There are words for this kind of behavior: toxic codependency.

Oh wait wait! I know! This is not Warner! This is Edward Cullen disguised as Warner! The mystery is solved!

Oh, he fucks her again. Apparently it’s the only thing he’s good at. What a character! The layers! The complexity!

And then Lena came into the picture.

Until that moment I was more or less okay with Warner. Yes, I was very confused, but I was ready to give Mafi benefit of the doubt. He lost his father and was dealing with grieve. We all can act out of character in the face of a tragedy or drastic changes.

“Why do you keep pressing this? Who cares if I’ve been with other women? They meant nothing to me—”

And there I felt in my guts, I’m not gonna like what next to come.

Haider was exhibiting suicidal tendencies. Self-harming. And I got really scared. I called Warner because I knew Haider would listen to him.” She shakes her head. “Warner didn’t say a word. He just got on a plane. And he stayed with us for a couple of weeks. I don’t know what he said to Haider,” she says. “I don’t know what he did or how he got him through it, but”—she looks off into the distance, shrugs—“it’s hard to forget something like that.

Oh, so Warner's words about how he never had any real interactions with anyone before Juliette were bullshit. About how he doesn’t understand people were also bullshit. About how Juliette was the first person who was not afraid to speak with him freely were also bullshit. Because all of the sudden he can help someone heavily depressed. Someone with suicide tendencies? Someone who harms himself? And now he has an ex-girlfriend who’s ready to beat the fuck out of him and calls him mean words (she clearly doesn’t fear him)?

Now his entire character in the first trilogy doesn’t make any sense. And his excuses don’t make any sense.

Bravo, Mafi! Bravo! This was the fastest character assassination I’ve ever seen.

She says that Lena was in love with him—really in love with him—but that Warner broke her heart, that he never treated her with any real affection and she’s hated him for it.

Oh, so he’s not only stupid and absolutely useless, he’s a fuckboy. And if there’s one thing I HATE, it’s fuckboys.

There’s a big-big-big difference between someone who has one-night-stands and THIS SHIT:

“You’re upset, I understand. But it’s not my fault you feel this way. I don’t love you. I never have. And I never led you to believe I did.”

“She and I,” he says, “it was—we were nothing. It was a relationship of convenience and basic companionship. It meant nothing to me. Truly,” he says, “you have to know—if I never said anything about her it was only because I never thought about her long enough to even consider mentioning it.”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t two years of anything serious. It wasn’t even two years of continuous communication.” He sighs. “She lives in Europe, love. We saw each other briefly and infrequently. It was purely physical. It wasn’t a real relationship—”

So he despised her but used her for sex? WOW. Cool. He can go and trip over a fucking knife or fall out of the window for all I care.

“Everything in my life was different before I met you,” he says. “I was lost and all alone. I never cared for anyone. I never wanted to get close to anyone. I’ve never—you were the first person to ever—”

And how exactly he was able to help Haider with his self-harm then??? If he didn’t CaRe for anyone before Juliette?

This was the moment when Warner from original trilogy died in agony.

Okay, let’s see real quick what we have in Defy Me:

He thinks about escape but never really does anything to escape;

(anderson is the one who opens his cell;

he stands in front of a guy who murdered his mother and doesn’t even think about her, yeah I can see how important she was for him;

/again, shatter-me Warner would probably demanded answers, but not walking dildo, walking dildo cares only about Juliette. his excuse in ignite me 'i did it all for my mom' doesn't make any sense now, because he actually doesn't give a flying fuck about her/

he gets captures one minute after he “kills” Anderson;

nazeera is the one who gets him out of there;

super soldier taught his whole life how to survive, everyone. useless as fuck)

He doesn’t know anything about jewelry.

(super ooc, i know what Mafi was trying to do here: she tried ‘sherlock holmes doesn’t know that earth revolves around the sun’ thing Arthur Conan Doyle did, but the problem is WARNER IS A FASHIONISTA, or he was).

He wants to get married because…???

He sees a woman who tried to kill Juliette and he’s a-okay with staying at her place, because she said that it was actually a message (???).

Castle is still alive.

Nazeera who knew all this time about Anderson and was working for him is also alive and well.

Oh and he doesn’t care about Anderson being alive and being a real threat to Juliette (fucking her is more important for him, as usual).

His complete disregard for Juliette’s safety only makes me hate him more with every new book.

Imagine me.

First and foremost: don’t call imagine-me Warner shatter-me Warner. Don’t insult shatter-me Warner like that. With shatter-me Warner Anderson would have to try very hard to get to Juliette. It would be ‘Warner made 100 back-up plans, but Anderson knew him too well and created 101 plan and that’s how he managed to win’ kind of situations.

But walking dildo is too busy feeling sorry for himself (as usual), he just sits by her bed FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS, doing absolutely NOTHING to make sure she’ll be safe.

Nooira says that Juliette should be killed and she’s still alive for some reason.

He’s entire persona is that he’s rude to people (but not bbc’s sherlock holmes kind of rude, when he’s unbearable dick but he’s actually smart and really gets shit done, so we can tolerate him). He’s just rude.

He doesn't care about Adam or James's wellbeing (remember Ignite me Warner who really wanted a family? Yeah that's him now).

But he has gruppies now, because he’s hot and everyone in the sanctuary wants to fuck him.

Oh and he proposed to Juliette. HE PROPOSED. THEY ENGAGED! DO YOU HEAR ME??? THEY GONNA BE MARRIED! HE PROPOSED TO HER! AND SHE SAID YES! THEY GONNA MERRY!

Because god fucking forbid we forget about it.

(mafi really thinks that her readers have the mental capacity of a golden fish, huh?)

I lost count how many times walking dildo implies that he's gonna kill himself if Juliette is not with him (disgusting).

Then our walking dildo cures Juliette by the power of petting (it’s not power of love, lads and gents; you want to see love go watch defenders on netflix; mafi already copypasted elektra’s arch from that show into imagine-me Juliette, you can do yourself a favor and see how this trope can be executed without borderline on sexual assault petting scene).

18-old girl marries a fucking sociopath believing he’s actually a good person.

(we all know how shit like this ends, people like that don't change; and this 'he's different with me cuz i'm very special and i'm gonna teach him the right way' it's really harmful message considering that the audience of those books are mostly teenage girls).

Trust me, there's nothing revolutionary in this trope, it's tale as old as time.

Here's the thing, good written character always defined by connection to other people: friend, lovers, enemies, family, foes, acquaintances, even some random strangers. It's the easiest way to establish what kind of person they are.

Walking dildo doesn't have any of that because all of his "character" revolves around Juliette. He's not a person anymore. By the end of Imagine me he doesn't have friends (his relationships with Kenji or Haider non-existent), no family connections (no talks with Adam or James), even enemies or foes or even people that don't like him (because everyone wants to fuck him, because being hot is his only character trait).

His only family and friend is Juliette. And you know what? It's fucking boring, overdone and lazy as fuck. And insulting to the character he once was.

No redemption arch, no character arch at all.

Happy end.

[deadbiwrites]

Oh oh oh oh! For the fanfic trope mashup: Royal AU x Modern AU - Supercorp?

Let’s do this!!

--

“Y’know what’s fun?”

“What’s that?”

“The fact that our parents are just gonna hate this.”

Lena snorts. “Is that the only fun thing?”

“Well I mean no, there’s like, a lot about this that’s fun. But that’s definitely up there.”

“Why Kara Zor-El am I your belated teenage rebellion? And at a royal ball, no less?” 

“I’m a princess, Lena, I wasn’t allowed to have one!” Kara defends, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Allowed? Kara, no one’s allowed to go through a rebellious phase! That’s the point of a teenage rebellion! That you’re not allowed to do it! That’s the whole thing!” Lena laughs helplessly, laughter only growing when Kara frowns down at her.

Kara crosses her arms and pouts. “You’re so mean to me. Bet I could have you like, exiled, or something.”

Lena cocks a challenging brow. “Try it.”

Kara pretends to ponder this seriously for a moment. “Nah, I feel like banishing you would have a really serious effect on my sex life..”

“That’s what I thought,” Lena breathes, surging up onto her toes and pulling Kara into a kiss that leaves them both breathless.

“So when should we tell them?”

Lena sighs. “Well there’s never going to be a good time, so...”

Kara frowns. “Which is so stupid. I mean like, Kal’s the heir, I’m the spare. And a cousin, at that. It shouldn’t even matter that you’re a-”

“Woman?”

“Commoner,” Kara corrects. “Which, admittedly, isn’t better, really, still classist-”

“If you think a bit of light classism is a surprise coming from actual monarchs-”

“No! No, it’s just- I don’t know. I just really really love you, and what if they start trying to have a say in things? Or your mom, god.”

“Yes, Lillian is not the greatest fan of the monarchy,” Lena muses dryly.

“Lena, she’s lead a motion in Parliament eight times to abolish it,” Kara drawls.

“That’s what I said.”

Kara snorts. “Sure. But... are you gonna be okay, with that sort of scrutiny? It won’t be as bad as what happened to Harry and Meghan, probably, but still.”

“Kara my mother has been in politics longer than I’ve been alive. If you think I haven’t had the press trying to snap a scandalous photo of my since I was 14, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Gross.”

“Yes. So yes, I’m... as prepared as I could possibly hope to be, for us to go public. And also to tell our parents.”

Kara lets out a breath, sagging slightly and dropping her forehead to rest against Lena’s. “Thank Rao. Because I love you like crazy and I’m sick of hiding it.”

“Me too,” Lena murmurs, straightening the medals and sash draped across the chest of Kara’s handsome blue military jacket. “I love you so much, I’m not even thinking about the fact that my mother is most assuredly going to kill me when I tell her I’m dating a royal.”

“Oh, she’ll be fine. When I marry you, though, that’s probably when she’ll get upset,” Kara chuckles.

Lena’s eyes snap up to Kara’s face. “What?”

Kara’s eyes are wide, her face suddenly ghostly pale. “Uh... we should- we should probably- probably get out there, huh? People are gonna miss us, and- yeah.”

“Wait Kara, what?!”

But in Kara’s haste to sprint away, she trips over her own feet into the tapestry that’s hiding them in the alcove, tearing the ancient thing from the wall with an almighty, attention-grabbing rip.

Lena freezes, looking out at the sea of shocked and scandalized faces, realizing belatedly how this probably looks (likely very similar to what it is, for once).

Lena clears her throat delicately. “Kara? I have good news.”

“Mmmph?” Kara asks, struggling to detangle herself from the heavy fabric of the tapestry.

Lena locks eyes with Kara’s parents across the room, ignores Kal as he grins and shoots her a very non-discrete thumbs-up, and judging by the hair rising on the back of her neck, Lillian is somewhere nearby as well. “I, ah... I don’t think we’re going to need to tell our parents after all...”

[nancywheelxr]

1 for the ways to say "I love you", with Winndox

Hey! Okay, this is by far my favorite prompt list, so thank you.

(  1 -  Holding their hands when they are shaking )

Winn knew from the moment he left that nothing would be the same when he came back. Like, he had no delusions thinking nothing would change.

But a country in the brink of a civil war is so not what he had expected.

Seriously, is no one worried about the whole Nazi vibe going on here?

And Supergirl being fired, what’s up with that?

There is so much going on, it’s terribly overwhelming in the worst possible way, and Winn feels like he’s always struggling to catch up before something bad happens. Except, it’s already kinda happening, isn’t it?

“As you all know, effective immediately, it will be tolerated nothing but full transparency from all government agencies,” Colonel Haley, or, as Winn prefers to call her, Colonel Umbridge, announces, and he sees Alex clenching her jaw beside her. “That being said, this is not a witch hunt. I do not want to fire any more agents, what happened with Supergirl is an exception, not the rule.”

Is she for real? Winn scoffs, rolling his eyes, because this is the definition of a witch hunt, okay? It doesn’t stop being one just because she went up there and said so, that’s not how this works. Alex glares at him, and fine, yeah, stay on the down low, he knows. But man, he saved the future, he fought Brainy’s evil family, okay, he should get more than a get back to work from Umbridge over there.

Talking about Brainy, Winn glances at him, standing stiffly beside him. He’s still using his personal image inducer, and his hands are clenched at his side like he’s trying very hard to keep them that way. Winn sort of gets why he decided to stay a little longer, why Brainy would want to see this through, Alex did tell him what happened at the pizza place, after all, but it doesn’t make it any easier to stand here and watch with worry nagging at him to do something.

( Something like maybe stay inside Winn’s apartment, locked safely inside with blankets and hot chocolate and anything else Brainy might possibly want, watching movies until the world goes back to normal. )

But that’s not the kind of thing Winn likes to dwell on.

Because here’s the thing, Winn doesn’t have exactly a great track with crushes. Or timing, for that matter. Look at this time around, he went to the future! While Brainy stayed in the past! Like some goddamn space odyssey, it’s ridiculous really.

“But,” Colonel Haley continues like she isn’t about to dig herself a deeper grave, “on the spirit of transparency and good faith, any and all alien employees must come forward until the end of the day. Your contract will not be terminated, you will only be required to wear this on your right shoulder,” she holds up a red patch for them all to see, “so the public can know what you are.”

Okay, this is just– they’re not even trying to hide it anymore! “Isn’t this dangerous?” And shit, right, he hadn’t meant to speak out loud, but now the Colonel is watching him like a particularly blood-thirsty hawk and the words are still spilling from his mouth because Winn has never been really good at being quiet. “For them, I mean. With this whole Agent of Liberty thing going on?”

Alex is fiercely glaring at him like never before, if looks could kill, Winn would be so, so dead by now. She glares some more, before turning to her superior, a not very good fake smile on her face. “What Agent Schott meant to ask, ma’am, is if we wouldn’t be encouraging extremist actions with things like this?”

That’s one way to put it, Winn supposes. Colonel Haley scoffs, dismissive, “not at all. With Agent of Liberty in custody, his organization is over. We cut off the head, now we let it bleed out on its own.” She smiles with a mouth full of sharp teeth that glint in the artificial light, “it’s a right of every citizen to know who is working on their government. Besides, it will be good press, won’t it? If they see an alien saving their life?”

The last sentence is said so flippantly that Winn can see Alex going through all five stages of grief and using up all her strength to stop herself from throttling their oh-so-dear superior officer.

“You’re all dismissed,” she waves them off, calling back before stalking to her office, “and remember– until the end of the day, agents.”

The door slams shut, echoing like a gunshot.

Everyone more or less scatters, going back to their stations like nothing’s wrong, and it makes Winn feel a tiny bit better when he glimpses Alex marching down after military Umbridge with hellfire in her eyes and brimstone on her steps.

A crashing sound beside him snaps Winn back to reality. “My apologies,” Brainy hastily throws his way, bending down to pick up a fallen– yeah, no, Winn has no idea what that is. He’s going with ‘random piece of tech’. “I seem to be a little clumsy today.”

Brainy isn’t very good at making up things on the spot, and even if his fingers hadn’t been shaking so noticeably as he places the cube-shaped thing back on his desk, his face would still be as see-through as glass. For someone who’s part-robot, Brainy has a terrible poker face.

Or maybe, Winn is just good at knowing him.

“Hey,” he says, sitting down heavily in the chair beside him, spinning until he can face Brainy and their knees are touching. “You okay, man?”

“What? Oh, yes. Yes, I am, thank you,” Brainy nods, but his eyes follow Winn’s gaze, darting quickly back up, and his hands wrap around the cube as if the anxiety wouldn’t exist as long as they didn’t see the shaking. “Now if you don’t mind, I have a few things I need to work on–”

“Brainy,” Winn starts, pausing to look around, check if anyone’s listening in, but no one’s paying attention to them. Still, he lowers his voice anyway. God knows these walls have freakishly good ears. “Look, I know things are scary right now, and Colonel Haley is really going for the whole fascist dictator thing, but you don’t have to be fine all the time, okay? No one’s gonna blame you for being freaked out.”

There’s a moment of silence where Brainy doesn’t say anything, looking down at the cube on his hands like it holds the answer for all of their questions. “I– thank you,” he finally says, clearing his throat before whispering back, “I will admit I have not decided yet on the best course of action, because, you see, I believe the Colonel got a hold of something to disrupt out personal image inducers. If this is true, then perhaps coming forward would be preferable.”

Shit. That’s– that’s fucked up on a whole new level. “What? Oh my– oh my god. Is that even legal? And didn’t Lena fix whatever bug it had to make it hacker-proof?”

“Yes,” Brainy nods, scanning the room again for eavesdroppers, and leans in closer, “she did, and we already went over the code twice since then. There is no way to bypass security. No, whatever this is, it must work in a different way.”

Winn frowns, ignoring the fluttering going on somewhere between his heart and his guts. “Maybe, if we figure out how this thing works, we can beat it, so you won’t have to out yourself. We let people know, so no one has to.”

Brainy blinks, looking at Winn with a surprise that would be kind of hurtful if it wasn’t so tinted with pride and adoration. It makes his heart go rabbit-quick and tastes a lot like hope. “Yes, why didn’t I– no matter, this could actually work. Winn, will you work with me on this? I cannot be trusted to act on the best of my abilities, I’m afraid the events of this morning have compromised me more than I’d initially expected.” A pause, “and moreover, I find that your presence is quite… enjoyable.”

His mouth dries in the time that it takes to process Brainy’s last words, and Winn can only nod in response. Around them, the room is nearly empty, as everyone leaves for lunch and the next agents haven’t arrived yet for the change of shifts, only a few scattered people still packing their things. Without the worry for evesdroppers, they could ease back a little, lean away from each other, but Brainy doesn’t seem to mind sharing his personal space in this case.

“It is settled, then,” he continues, “but we should do this somewhere else. The Colonel will already be on high alert until her deadline is over.”

“We could ask Lena, I’m sure L-Corp has a few labs to spare,” Winn grins, feeling victory drumming underneath his skin, “we have a little over six hours to figure this out,” and then, because Brainy still looks a little wavering on his certainty, Winn carefully extricates the tech cube from his white-knuckled hold, covering his hands with his own when they tremble without something to cling to. And then, because it’s so easy and Winn can’t think of a good enough reason not to, he entwines their fingers together, feeling the shaking echoing on his bones, his thumb brushing soothing circles on the back of Brainy’s hands. “Hey, don’t worry, okay? We will figure something out.”

Brainy nods, smiling a shaky sort of smile but with eyes shining with courage. He squeezes Winn’s hands back. “I know we will.”

[sleemo]

Adam Driver: ‘Compared with the military, acting isn't that difficult’

The Star Wars actor on leaving the Marines, filming nude scenes with Lena Dunham and getting in touch with his dark side — The Guardian | Dec 9, 2017

Adam Driver has a reputation for being a serious young man, which is partly a matter of attitude and partly, I suspect, to do with some aspect of his physiognomy: he has a large head and outsize features that somehow combine to give an impression of gravity. 

Before the photoshoot, he let it be known that he finds it uncomfortable to have a journalist (me) in his sightline on set, the kind of specification one might expect of a particularly precious Hollywood star. But this turns out to be misleading. Driver’s discomfort is with the entire celebrity aspect of his job, which makes talking about his role in the latest Star Wars trilogy somewhat tricky. I don’t even know where to start with The Last Jedi, I say, as we settle down after the shoot, and Driver grins, then looks gloomy. “Me, neither,” he says.

We are in downtown Manhattan, a few miles from Driver’s Brooklyn Heights neighbourhood (Lena Dunham lives there, too) and a more upscale part of Brooklyn than the grungy Greenpoint location of Girls. That show, the sixth and final season of which ran on HBO earlier this year, was watched by relatively modest numbers, but has had an outsized influence on the culture. Barely a day goes by without Dunham being mentioned in a blogpost somewhere, and it gave Driver, who played her on-off boyfriend, the kind of career launch twenty-something actors can only dream of. 

At 34, not only does he have his second go as Kylo Ren in the latest Star Wars movie, but he has just shot The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, directed by Terry Gilliam, was in the Steven Soderbergh film Logan Lucky and played the title role in the Jim Jarmusch movie Paterson. Pretty good, I’d say, although I assume the two Star Wars films – The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi – are the real life-changer.

“No,” Driver says, looking genuinely baffled.

But to be part of a juggernaut that size – wasn’t he warned it would change his life? “I don’t think anyone said that, and I wouldn’t have listened to them, anyway. As a person, I’m the same. The problems I had before Force Awakens, it didn’t solve any of them.” He laughs. “For me, the only noticeable difference is your visibility as a person. Loss of anonymity is a big thing. I didn’t realise how I would see that in a billion little ways.”

The fame he had before Star Wars was somewhat localised. As Driver says drily, “In my neighbourhood, a lot of people watch HBO.” Star Wars is different: “Seven-year-olds to 70-year-olds.” It is global and almost impossible to escape. Driver is 6ft 3in and distinctive-looking, like a child’s drawing of a man brought to life. He’s even recognisable when travelling at speed. “I thought, I’ll ride my bike around the city,” he says, “and within two seconds I got pulled over by the cops, who said, ‘Hey, can we take a picture?’”

Really? “Yeah. I mean, I also ran a red light, so it was fair.”

Driver has been in New York since his early 20s, and part of his appeal as an actor has to do with his background. Before attending drama school at Juilliard, he was in the Marines. He was discharged after two years of training, and before his unit got shipped to Iraq, following an injury brought on while he was out mountain biking, a terrible blow at the time.

It is this – the combination of the classical theatre training and the military experience – that gives Driver an unusual ruggedness. As with most things that come up during our conversation, he is mildly amused and emphatically deflating about the role of the military in his appeal as an actor. He already knew he wanted to perform when he joined the Marines in his late teens, a move partly inspired by 9/11 and partly by youthful lack of direction. Driver’s application to Juilliard had been rejected; he had no other plans and was listlessly living in his mother and stepfather’s house in Indiana when 9/11 happened, filling him with what he described in a recent TED talk as “an overwhelming sense of duty”. He was also feeling “generally pissed off” and underconfident, and for some reason – he agrees, looking back, that it was in many ways an odd move – signing up seemed to be the answer.

At high school, Driver wasn’t particularly macho. “I didn’t do organised sports, not because I didn’t like them, but because I wasn’t very good at them. Except basketball. But I was never, like: let’s play football.”

He mainly hung out with the high school drama nerds. “I wasn’t someone who was into groups of guys – we’re men! We’re going to eat meat!” He looks momentarily wry. “I don’t know what guys do. Anyway, I would never have talked to those people before the military. Now you’re stuck in the epitome of alpha-male territory.”

To everyone’s surprise, he loved it. One can almost see why: there is an earnestness to Driver that relished the purity of military life and the more he talks about it, the more he makes it sound like a combat version of Buddhism. “There’s something about going into the military and having all of your identity and possessions stripped away: that whole clarity of purpose thing. It becomes very clear to you, when you get your freedom back, that there’s stuff you want to do.”

The bonds Driver made with his fellow Marines were startling to him, given how different many of them were in terms of background. (In his own family, his mother is a paralegal, his stepfather a Baptist preacher and his father works “at the copy counter at Office Depot”.) In the military, Driver says, none of that mattered. “You’re in this high-stakes environment where who you are as a person is constantly tested. And, in my experience, a lot of the people I was closest to in the military were very self-sacrificing. For me, it speaks volumes, more than how well they were able to articulate, or whatever front they were putting on. You get to see them at their most vulnerable and they’re literally going to back you up. All pretences dissolve.”

Being discharged on medical grounds before deployment was devastating for Driver; but the experience of having been in the military also made rehabilitation easier. Nothing, he believed at the time, could be as hard again, and after a period of working in a warehouse back in Indiana, he found that he still wanted to act and reapplied to Juilliard. It was different this time. “Whereas at 17 I just wanted to be liked, and to be funny, and accepted, later I had a bit more life experience.” He was accepted and moved to New York.

He has worked almost constantly since then, to the extent that he took four months off recently just to hang out at home with his wife Joanne Tucker. (They met at Juilliard and she is also an actor.) Most of his early roles – he was in Frances Ha, the excellent Noah Baumbach movie, and in the Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis – were very good, but relatively small scale and indie. Even Girls, his breakthrough role, didn’t look like much when it first came on screen. The Force Awakens, on the other hand, became the fastest film to take $1bn (£740m) at the global box office. I try again: surely this does something to Driver’s basic levels of self-confidence?

“No, because that’s not what I was after when I started to be an actor,” he insists. “It would if that was my goal. I know people think that if you’re an actor, it’s your goal to be famous and wealthy. Surely you want to be famous and wealthy! And there are great things about that part of it – it frees you up to do other things. But part of my job is being anonymous and I think being able to live, to observe more than to be observed, is important. [Being famous] seems counterintuitive to my job. It’s a weird dynamic when you walk into a room and there’s an image people project on to you.” He interrupts himself to say, conscientiously, “My problems compared with global issues, or anybody else’s, are very small. Even that I have time in my day to think about the existential.”

This is how it goes with Driver: he is assiduously mindful of broader sensitivities and somewhat embarrassed to air his own. “What it means to lose anonymity is a bougie problem in and of itself. And I won’t garner sympathy, nor am I asking for it. The image of us on our red carpet wearing expensive suits, where people naturally assume your life is, is not what I was after when I started this job. Believe it or not.”

I do believe it, I say. One has only to look at him, twisting this way and that in his chair. (“I’m not doing it on purpose to get away from you,” he says.)

So he doesn’t take any credit for, or validation from, the success of Star Wars? “You mean, am I, like, yes!” He gives a little satirical air punch. “I’m excited that people liked it, but do I think that I got it right? No. If I had directed it, maybe. But I didn’t write it, direct it, pick out the costumes. All these decisions – about the lightsaber, that it’s unfinished and unpolished – none of those were mine. I know enough about this job not to take credit.” He looks pained. “That would be an illusion.”

Driver’s family have no roots in acting, although his stepfather’s job as a minister might be said to have some performance aspect to it. Driver sang in the church choir well into his teens, which, he says, gives you an idea of how left-field his decision to enlist was. When he joined the school theatre, it was because his friends were doing it and it looked fun. “They auditioned for Oklahoma!, so I did. And I got a part in the chorus. I remember being backstage and it seemed like a community that was a bunch of weirdos, and I liked that part of it. I also felt that I was kind of OK at it. I tend to get frustrated with things that I don’t pick up right away.”

When people in the US think of Indiana, he says, they think of somewhere “boring and flat”. It is also deep into Trump country, such that Driver and his family are careful to avoid talking about politics when he goes home for the holidays.

Occasionally, his worlds collide. A few years after being demobbed, Driver set up a nonprofit organisation called Arts In The Armed Forces, which puts on theatre performances for personnel at military bases. His burgeoning celebrity has made it easier to recruit other well-known actors to the cause, but it is testament to his management skills that from the outset, the company has been smartly and seriously run. His aim, he says, was to broaden the range of entertainment put on for the troops. When Driver was stationed at Camp Pendleton, in California, the troop entertainment was, “‘The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are going to come and dance for you.’ Which is great, but there wasn’t anything like theatre or performance art brought to us.”

Unlike Bryan Doerries’ excellent stage project Theatre Of War, in which Greek drama is performed before military audiences as a public health initiative, there is no therapeutic element to Driver’s nonprofit. Still, it can have an interesting impact. “In one of our first performances, Laura Linney did a monologue from this Scott Organ play called China, about a female employer reprimanding a female employee for not wearing a bra. It’s really funny, that’s why I picked it – not really thinking it through. It was one of a series of monologues, and the male Marines were coming out and saying, we really liked it, but we thought [that particular one] was an indirect attack on how we do things in the military.”

When Driver asked why, they replied, “Because there’s a uniformity and structure and a reason in the military, and we thought that’s what you were trying to criticise. I said, OK, that’s interesting. And then the female Marines were coming out and saying, I liked the whole thing, especially that monologue, because I know what it’s like to be a female in a very male-dominated environment. That’s the best response we could’ve asked for. Hopefully they like it and it’s entertaining. But it also confronts them, and they bring something to it that a civilian audience wouldn’t think of.”

It can take a little persuasion on Driver’s part to get officers to allow him on to the base, and if he is adept at overcoming the military’s initial scepticism towards theatre, it is thanks to the experience of having overcome similar prejudice in himself. Theatre school seemed insane after the Marines, he says. “It is a very egocentric four years, just sitting around and focusing on what does the back of my tongue sound like when I make this sound? What is a Scottish dialect?”

Failure didn’t particularly worry him; he was still in his early 20s and brimming with the confidence of youth and the machismo of two years of hard training. “In the military, you are put in hard circumstances, so I’m thinking, I’ll move to New York and be an actor, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just live in Central Park. You know, compared with the military, it can’t be that difficult. I’ll dumpster dive. I’ll survive. Civilian problems compared with the military are small; that was my thinking at the time. That’s not right. But at the time, that’s what I thought.”

It wasn’t just the contrast between the two worlds that gave Driver confidence. There is something almost fanatical about his belief in the right and wrong way to do things. When he was still at school and decided to be an actor, the only place he applied to was Juilliard; nowhere else, no backup. He had heard it was the best place in the US to train, so that’s where he wanted to go.

Unsurprisingly, perhaps, he isn’t on social media. Those kinds of exchanges don’t interest him. As a result, he missed out on a lot of the hype around Girls, although even he couldn’t fail to recognise that the show was a hit. (Driver won three consecutive Emmy nominations for his role as Adam Sackler.) It was a strange thing, he says, to sign up for what felt like a relatively obscure show – “Something that felt like it was made in the basement of a friend’s house” – and watch it rise, while he and his friends rose with it. (We speak before the controversy over Lena Dunham’s defence of a Girls writer against an accusation of rape.)

It did not escape Driver’s notice that his own nudity on the show was less remarked upon and criticised than that of Lena Dunham, even though Dunham wrote, produced and directed the show. “Of course there’s a double standard for men and women. I don’t think that’s a controversial thing for me to say. It’s so obvious, and one of the things that she was fighting against, which I understood right away, is that it wasn’t gratuitous. There was always a point behind it, it was always still storytelling. It just seemed very natural. We talked just as much about being naked, and what was the story and the sex scenes, as we did about scenes where there’s dialogue.”

It wasn’t uncomfortable to film? “If it’s for no purpose whatsoever, that would be very uncomfortable. But part of the storytelling is about our bodies and how they look, and if there’s something that’s not flattering about it, that was probably what we were going for. That’s my job, to tell the story.”

What did he learn from Dunham?

“Um. I mean, Lena is a great writer. She’s a good thief, also: she’s very aware of her environment and is very good about processing her experience of something immediately. I feel like I need more time to get distance on it, so I can look back and have an opinion. She is forming opinions as she does things. Which I think is a rare ability.”

Driver sometimes wonders if he’ll ever come to firm conclusions about anything. “I never figure anything out,” he says, winningly. “I do my job. That’s my goal, to be as economical as possible. Basically, the only thing I try to do is know my lines.”

His ego is contained, too. “Usually, the mood of the set is what I adapt to, as opposed to having a set way of working and imposing it on everybody else. If you need private time, usually people give you space for that. But getting set into one way of doing something seems like closing yourself off from being wrong.” On the other hand, “interesting things can come out of being wrong”. He smiles. “Sometimes.”

Can he let things go?

“No. I don’t think so. Maybe after a while. I keep replaying scenes in my mind. That’s why I don’t like to watch anything I’m in – it’s not my responsibility.” It’s a Zen attitude Driver has worked hard to perfect and he frowns with the effort of maintaining it. To be a small part of the machine is where he has always felt comfortable. “It’s not about me,” he says .

— The Guardian

[tvserieshub]

History Channel’s original show SIX came out swinging last year, delivering fantastic action and emotional content hand in hand. SIX grabbed audiences in the first episode and delivered through the entire first season. With season 2 premiering Monday, May 28th we wanted to take this opportunity to remind you why you should be watching this military-themed show.

10. Olivia Munn

Olivia Munn is joining SIX as a shady CIA Operative…need I say more? Ok, maybe just a bit more. Munn is great in everything she does and from what I’ve seen this is no exception. The addition of Munn throws an already ticking time clock of a team into near meltdown. Going into season 2 look for her to be both help and foil to our team.

photo credit @SIXonHistory

9. Troop Support

Even in real life, the cast of SIX has taken their military connection seriously. The actors participated in a Tough Mudder Run as a team to fundraise for the charity Student Veterans of America in 2016 and 2017. They also recently participated in the Flag and Flower challenge created by Preston Sharp. The challenge asks people to visit the grave’s of veterans, leaving flags and flowers to honor them, in particular NOT on holidays. Even as I write this, some of the cast are preparing to participate in The Murph (a physical challenge meant to honor LT. Michael Murphy, a SEAL who was killed in combat). Whether it’s in interviews, or on social media, you’ll find this cast expressing a constant respect for the warriors they portray.

Flags and Flowers event @SIXonHistory

@BarrySloane

@Jaylen_Moore

8. Locations

SIX uses it’s time wisely. It’s no cookie-cutter action show with all the fights taking place in dingy lighting, creeping through underground tunnels. Instead, you’ll see this team on land, in the air, on the water. You’ll see them at home (some of the hardest hitting scenes), trekking through the forest and busting down doors. I love never knowing where the team is going to end up next, there isn’t any sense of repetitiveness.

7. Complex Villains

Forget blah, zero backstory villains. SIX allows it’s bad guys to be every bit as interesting and dynamic as it’s heroes. Tell me, how many other military shows can say that? Dominic Adams spent last season playing Michael Nasry, the American-born terrorist who’s out for revenge. Although we loved to hate Michael and the tortures he planned for Rip (Walter Goggins), you never impatiently wished him off the screen. In fact, I’m happy to say that Adams is back for season 2, although we’ll find Michael in a very different set of circumstances this time around. SIX is also introducing “The Prince” (Nikolai Nikolaeff) as the big bad of the season. Nikolai spent months preparing himself for the role, diving deep in background so that he could best honor the role. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.

6. Diversity

When the U.S. military is 40% PoC it’s completely unrealistic to have a military show with no (or a single token) non-white person on the team. Unfortunately, for some networks that continues to be the trend. SIX threw that nonsense out the window, showing a true picture of what a SEAL team would be. We have an African American member, Hispanic member and, my personal favorite, an Afghani American. Yes, that’s right. The first Muslim SEAL portrayed on American television. If that alone isn’t cause for celebration I don’t know what is. And yes, if you’re keeping track – that’s 50% PoC. Thank you SIX.

photo credit @SIXonHistory

5. The Action

The cast of SIX brings it full force physically. Training with former Navy Seals helped the actors hone their physicality and bring realism to their fight scenes. SIX doesn’t have the big budget of network shows and instead relies on the details instead of huge explosions. Although, no fear, you do get your fair share of those as well. The precise shots and killer hand-to-hand combat are impressive in every episode. Whether it’s taking down terrorists or rescuing school girls, you’ll believe every minute. I’d highly recommend checking out the Instagram accounts of the actors, there are lots of BTS videos detailing the grueling preparation they went through to get ready for these roles.

4. Characters

You can tell from episode one that these characters have been fully fleshed out, loved and thought about. Whether you’re watching Bear mourning his daughter, Buddha struggling with a changing family dynamic or Caulder being forced into parental responsibility, each of these men has some serious backstory. One of my favorites from last season was Fishbait, portrayed by Jaylen Moore. Even without the screen time to explore his family life, Fishbait never felt 1 dimensional and Moore was able to grab some of the spotlight. I’m happy to say we’ll be getting more Fishbait this time around! Bill and David Broyles as the writers/creators clearly love their show and it shines through. They’ve lovingly crafted complex 3D people that you will be captivated by.

Jaylen Moore @sixonhistory

Eric Laden @sixonhistory

Juan Pablo Raba @SIXonHistory

3. The Families

This military drama spends a significant amount of time on the effect that this job has on the home life of our SEAL team. These men go through hell and back on a constant basis and that takes a serious toll. SIX addresses this with respect and honesty. Seeing the inner turmoil of the team and the families around them connects you to the show in a way you might not feel if the focus was all on the action side. I’m partial to a good shoot ’em up show, but SIX is an action show I can recommend to everyone. The issues of home life for these warriors are addressed with a frank simplicity that’s stunning.

Brianne Davis as Lena Graves, and Nadine Velazquez as Jackie Ortiz, bring a warmth and personal touch to the show. As a Navy wife, I couldn’t ever watch dramatized shows like Army Wives. It felt nothing like my own experience since it was essentially Desperate Housewives on a base. SIX, however, shows the good and bad of being a military family in a way that I could immediately connect with.

2. The Cast in General

There are some serious heavy hitters here. Juan Pablo Raba plays Ricky “Buddha” Ortiz. Buddha is one of the most compelling characters to me personally because of the strain he feels between his work and home life. Raba brings his experience and acting chops to show that push/pull of warrior/husband powerfully. Walter Goggins is good in everything he does and SIX is a compelling argument for him as one of the best actors out there. Jaylen Moore has been in a lot – but hasn’t had a lead role in a hit tv series. I predict great things coming out of SIX for him, we didn’t have a chance to see a whole lot of background for Fishbait last year, but that will be changing in season 2.

Brianne Davis adds a level of heart and connection to this show that just blew my mind. She was one of the first cast members I wanted to interview because I felt that honest connection from the start. Kyle Schmidt is charming, funny and still manages to break your heart. Edwin Hodge brings a gravity and intelligence to his role and I look forward to seeing where that takes him in this much darker season 2. There isn’t a miscast actor in the bunch, and to honest, I could have written a paragraph for each one and why we love them. From interviews we’ve done we’ve learned that several of the characters were created AFTER meeting the actors who would play them. Juan Pablo Raba and Jaylen Moore in particular. The writers saw potential and they know exactly how to make their stars shine.

1. Barry Sloane

I’ve been a fan of Sloane’s for years, but in SIX he’s a totally different actor. From the bad boy romantic on Revenge to the deputy on Longmire, Sloane has always been good on screen. But in this? In this he’s great. As Joe “Bear” Graves, Sloane brings a power and complexity that shows what a truly phenomenal actor he’s become. Bear is ripped apart, suffering PTSD and struggling to balance home and work. He’s following the path of his mentor Rip (Walter Goggins) in all the worst ways, something the audience hopes and prays he can pull away from. He’s a leader on and off screen, the rest of the cast referencing him in every interview we did. To be honest, I’m really amazed Sloane hasn’t been nominated for an Emmy for his work in this series. Here’s hoping it happens in the future

Interviews

I’ve been fortunate enough to interview several of the hard-working actors from SIX. Check out what they have to say about the upcoming season:

Barry Sloane Interview

Joshua Gage Interview

Brianne Davis Interview

Eric Ladin Interview

Jaylen Moore Interview

Nikolai Nikolaeff Interview

Juan Pablo Raba Interview

  We have more interviews coming, check back soon!!

Get Watching!

All told, SIX is a standout series worth your time. If you haven’t seen Season 1, get binging! Season 2 premieres Monday, May 28th at 10/9c and then moves to its regular time on Wednesday, May 30th at 10/9c. This season promises to be darker, more emotional and explore new sides of our team. It’s going to be great!

I’ll be live tweeting from @tvserieshub all season, check back after the episode for my reviews. Hit me up anytime @nolenag03 to chat about SIX

  10 Reasons You Should be Watching #SIXonHistory +Cast Interviews @BarrySloane @EricLadin @TheBrianneDavis @JuanPabloRaba @Jaylen_Moore @EdwinHodge @NNikolaeff @iamKyleSchmid History Channel's original show SIX came out swinging last year, delivering fantastic action and emotional content hand in hand.

[sapphicscholar]

I know you've kind of done this already in Tabula Rasa, but could you maybe write a fic where some of the Superfriends end up in a parallel Earth where all of the Superfriends (or at least most, I'd love to see another version of evil Alex for sure. Maybe a version of her who became evil even without working for a xenophobic DEO? IDK) are evil? (This prompt may or may not be inspired by my annoyance at the plot of the crossover...)

I just posted it to AO3! 

A/N:Ugh yes, we can all be annoyed at the crossover… Since I already did an actual evil alternate universe in Tabula Rasa, I went full on campy evil for this one (think Lucy Diamond in DEBS) that’s largely inspired by my earlier musings here. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and sorry it took me a while to get to it! I’m finally going through some old prompt requests now that I’ve got a bit of time in these quiet few days at work.

Chapter Text

“Not again,” Alex hissed as the monitors flickered to black before flashing back up now covered in full color, high resolution photos of her from high school: black choker around her neck, black vest on, striped tie looped around the waist of her low-rise jeans, and some heavy black eyeliner to top off the whole punk rock aesthetic.

“You’ve got company headed up in 5,” James informed her, ignoring the litany of increasingly obscene threats crackling through his earpiece.

“Then get your little boyfriend on the phone and tell him to knock it the fuck off,” Alex growled, waiting for the inevitable refutation of their relationship, the insistence that they “don’t do labels.”

Even as he protested, James dialed Winn.

“Hello?” Winn answered, the poorly disguised snicker proof enough that he was behind the hack.

“C’mon man, we let Lucy have her heist last night without issue. Let Alex back into the system.”

“You’re getting off too easily,” Winn huffed.

“And I can guarantee you won’t get off at all tonight if you don’t call this off,” James threatened.

“You’re the worst.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“You know how much shit I’m gonna get from Vasquez if I give in this quickly?”

“What if we promise not to ruin their date night with Lucy this week?”

Winn paused, deliberating for a few minutes. “That I can work with.”

“Thanks, man.”

“See you tonight?”

“My place or yours?”

“James!” Alex growled, her voice startling him.

“Mine,” he quickly answered Winn, hanging up to refocus his attention on Alex. “You should be back in any second now.”

“Not dating my ass.” Alex continued trying to circumvent the active hack until suddenly it disappeared, the screens flashing back to the museum security feed she’d been trying to overwrite when Winn and Vasquez decided to play their little prank. “I’m back.”

“Good. You’ve got about two minutes.”

“Only need one.”

“That’s my girl,” Maggie chimed in, her voice barely audible over the sound of her motorcycle roaring to life.

“Always.”

“Now who’s being gross?” James teased, following Maggie’s location through her motorcycle’s GPS tracker.

“Still you,” came Alex and Maggie’s voices in unison.

“And we’re…clear!” Alex cheered, slinging the long cardboard tube over her back, wiping the keyboard even though she was wearing gloves, and bolting for the back exit where the security cameras were still under repair.

“Three, two, one,” James counted down, watching as Alex and Maggie’s blinking red GPS lights got closer and closer together.

“Hey babe,” Alex rasped, throwing on the spare helmet and straddling the back of Maggie’s bike. “Take me home. You know how I get after a good heist.”

“You still have to come here first!” James yelled, hoping he wouldn’t have to go over in the middle of the night to interrupt them…again.

“I’m thinking diamonds,” Lucy mused, her teeth nipping at Vasquez’s earlobes and her hips grinding down into their lap.

“Mm, yeah?” Vasquez asked, not trying particularly hard to pay much attention to their girlfriend’s words. At this stage, they were always just ideas, liable to change with a moment’s notice—often to thwart Alex’s latest ploy. They were just grateful that the rivalry had turned (mainly) friendly over the years. Back before Alex started dating Maggie, the two had been at each other’s throats,  more often focused on ruining the other’s heists than on actually accomplishing anything themselves. But now that Alex had a “mission statement,” which Lucy loved to scoff at, even though she liked to boast about how she operated within her own code of honor, they’d come to an uneasy truce that involved more playful attempts at sabotage that rarely turned violent these days.

“Can you two not do that in the van?” Winn whined. “This is my space—my sacred space.”

“You said that about your lab too,” Vasquez pointed out.

“Yeah, Schott, you only get one. Pick wisely.”

“Just don’t—keep your clothes on, alright?”

“No promises.”

“Why do I tolerate you two?”

“Because otherwise you’d be sitting in a lab full of perfect inventions without the daring to go use them yourself?” Vasquez offered.

“You’d have this van all rigged for surveillance with no one to watch for?” Lucy chimed in.

“You’d know how to make targeted explosions and decoys and holograms but never see them put to their best uses?”

“You’d—”

“Okay! Okay, I get it. You two are the muscle.”

“And the looks.”

“And the courage.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Vasquez said, shaking their head. “C’mon, who would actually know enough about computers to hack me if you left?”

“I guess,” Winn sighed melodramatically. “So you said diamonds…want me to start looking up possible targets?”

“I know just the one.”

“That so?”

Lucy nodded. “Oh yeah. She has more money than anyone in National City—just enough for some forcible sharing, I think.”

“Love the way you think,” Vasquez said, placing a kiss on Lucy’s cheek.

“Wait. You’re gonna try to rob Cat and Astra?” Winn asked, his mouth gaping.

“What? No, I don’t have a death wish,” Lucy laughed. “Besides, they’re already fighting the good fight.”

“Ah yes, that Lucy Lane patented code of honor.”

Holding two fingers up, Vasquez repeated in a military-esque monotone: “Criminals with honor do not harm or steal from other criminals with honor.”

“Damn straight.”

“And so how do you justify messing with Alex?” Winn asked.

“That sense of honor is still new. And these days I don’t harm her—just inconvenience her.”

“Fine,” Winn gave in. “But who’s richer than Cat and Astra?”

“Lena Luthor.”

—

The next morning, Alex carefully brushed away a speck of almost imperceptible dust from the broad shoulders of James’ suit jacket, watching in the mirror as he straightened his jacket and tightened the knot of his tie just a hair. Maggie handed him his phone and gun once Alex got his cufflinks fastened.

With a charming (and perfectly disarming) smile and wink, James slung the tube over his shoulder. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need luck when you look like that,” Maggie teased, swatting at James as he walked toward the front door, putting an extra swing in his step and letting out a deep laugh at the teasing wolf whistles and catcalls Alex and Maggie sent his way.

“We’ll be in the area if you need us, alright?” Alex added, her expression morphing into a more serious one.

“I know you’ve got my back, Alex.”

“Always.”

Within half an hour, James’ town car pulled up in front of the buyer’s restored nineteenth-century brownstone where he’d agreed to meet them—the hominess of it all somehow helping their genteel clientele to assuage their guilt over purchasing stolen artwork.

“Mr. Kent?” a middle-aged woman answered the door.

“At your service,” James replied with a small dip of his head and an easy smile that had her cheeks flushing a faint pink. “Can I ask your name?”

“Oh, I’m not the one you want to see.”

“On the contrary. You’re the very first one I’ve seen, which must make you someone worth knowing.” James smiled as any sense of wariness dissipated, the woman clearly charmed by him.

“I’m Katarina. I work for Morgan Edge.”

“Well it is my deepest pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Yes, I, uh, yes,” she stammered, mumbling her way through a few pleasantries before finally guiding him out of the entrance room. “Come right this way.” He followed her through a long hallway until they reached the home office in the back.

“Mr. Edge, it’s so nice to meet in person,” James greeted the man.

“I see you brought my newest acquisition.”

Right to business apparently, James thought. “I did. I assume you’ll want to see it first.”

As he pulled the tube over his shoulders, Katarina returned, a small mug clutched in her hands. “I brought your espresso.”

“Thank you,” James said, his deep voice rumbling over the disgruntled huff of Morgan’s complaints about her always interrupting his meetings. He paused for a moment to sip at it. “Always better to enjoy while it’s hot,” he added by way of explanation. “And it is excellent, Katarina.”

“Well, if you ever find yourself in need of a fix…”

“You’ll be the first person I call.” Sensing Morgan’s growing frustration, he turned back to the tube, slipping on a pair of gloves to pull out the painting.

Morgan leaned in closely, magnifying glass in hand as he inspected a few areas—always the same ones, James thought to himself, almost disappointed by the predictability of it all. After several long minutes, Morgan nodded. “It will be the perfect piece for my study.”

“And now it’s my turn to inspect.” James carefully rolled the painting up once more and stuck it back in the tube.

“Of course.” Morgan handed over a briefcase full to the rim with stacks of bills before turning back to his desk. With the painting strapped to his back for safekeeping, James checked the totals, then ran the special detecting pen Alex had invented to find fake money by scanning the chemical makeup of the ink and paper over the edges of the bills.

When Morgan turned again, already demanding to know what the holdup was, he found a gun pointed between his eyes. “And what do you think you’re doing?” he growled. “In my own home? I’ll have the police here before you can even think of pulling that trigger.”

“Oh, I don’t think you will. At least not when you’re buying stolen art and trying to pay me with counterfeit bills.”

“They’re perfectly real,” Morgan scoffed, pulling out one of top stacks.

“No, no.” Shaking his head, James pulled out the stacks beneath it. “The rest of it.”

Looking slightly inconvenienced but not at all abashed about having been caught, Morgan unlocked his safe and pulled out another briefcase, which James inspected thoroughly. Finally convinced that they were real, James added the top layer of real bills from the other briefcase to the new one—“for the trouble you put me through”—and handed off the painting, slowly backing out of the room, gun still pointed at the man until he was out of sight.

—

“Deal’s done,” came James’ voice through the intercom once he was safe in the town car again. “You need backup?”

“Nah, this part is the easiest,” Maggie answered, grinning over at Alex, who was leaning heavily against the wall of the warehouse, barely stifling her tired yawns. “Looks like I wore you out last night, babe.”

“More like Lucy did,” Alex huffed. “I’m so sick of having to deal with the added stress of her shit.”

“Oh please, you two keep each other sharp.”

Before their bickering could escalate—or turn into the heated makeup sex they favored—they heard the door creak open, and Alex smiled as Maggie greeted the first man through the door in perfect Spanish. They never used names, but she still felt close to him, a level of loyalty she afforded to very few of her other clients.

“I believe we have something that belongs to you,” she said, switching back to English when the rest of the group joined them.

“Already?”

“We’re nothing if not efficient,” Alex chimed in.

“Why?” one of the women in the group asked. She was new, Maggie noted, and rightfully suspicious of a gift that seemed to come with no strings attached.

“I don’t take kindly to my country profiting off of stolen artwork. I’m simply…expediting the process of repatriation.”

The woman scoffed. “And your country is okay with this?”

“Was yours when we stole the art in the first place?”

“And there are no strings attached?”

“Ah, well, I do like a nice bottle of wine—I’m partial to reds, and my partner here likes a dry wine.”

“Anything for you,” the man from before added, tipping his head to Maggie before taking the tube from her. “As always, thank you.”

“Anytime.”

—

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love having shapeshifters for friends?” Kara asked, throwing an arm around J’onn’s shoulders and reaching a hand out to M’gann. “Because I really, really do.”

“Whatever we can do to help Lena’s shelter—just say the word,” J’onn said.

“As long as you never say a word, then we’ll be just fine.”

“I still don’t see why the girl won’t let her good deeds be known,” M’gann mused, letting go of Kara’s hand to settle back in behind the bar.

“It’s harder to blackmail rich bad guys when you’re not invited around anymore because the Luthor last name has lost all meaning.”

“You’re the one that collects half the dirt with your powers, though.”

“But I wouldn’t know where to go digging if it weren’t for Lena’s first steps. Plus, you know how she enjoys siphoning off Luthor Corp funds. It’d be less fun if she had to spend her own money.”

“You know we’re mindreaders, right?” J’onn asked, arching an eyebrow at Kara.

“You can’t read mine,” Kara countered.

“No,” M’gann admitted, “but we know that your little girlfriend donates half of her personal income to charities every year.”

Kara groaned. “Don’t tell her you know, okay? She doesn’t want people knowing about it—once people know, it ruins it for her.”

“Whatever you say…”

“It’s not like you want people to know you’ve been volunteering to keep her refugee center running either.”

“No one would willingly enter a center run in part by a White Martian, especially one who shapeshifts to steal and infiltrate the local police units.”

“And you think that they’d send their kids off to play with a Luthor?”

“Point taken.”

“Anyway, are you two coming over for dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight, sorry,” J’onn apologized. “We’re a little short-staffed at the bar, and you know how Friday nights can get.”

“But next time, we promise,” M’gann added, reaching over to give Kara a hug before she left.

—

“We should really get going,” Astra sighed, even as she lifted her arms to allow her shirt to be removed. “Wouldn’t want to be late.” Her breath hitched at the feeling of teeth nipping at her neck and nimble fingers deftly undoing the button and zipper of her black pants.

“She’s not my niece,” Cat shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always preferred to be fashionably late.”

“And yet if I’m just a minute late for dinner…”

“I. Do. Not. Wait.” Cat declared, punctuating her words with harder bites, wishing she could leave some kind of mark on that flawless skin.

“I always make it worth your while, though,” Astra drawled, easily flipping them so that Cat was on her back, her breathing ragged and her chest flushed a faint pink.

“Last night you didn’t.”

“Last night I had the chance to sabotage the newest oil pipeline, darling. I don’t complain when your work comes first.” Astra’s fingers trailed up Cat’s thighs, gently pushing up the hem of her dress.

“I know, I know. It’s just a shame—you know my fingers, talented as they might be, just don’t compare to your tongue.”

“Well, why don’t we get dressed for dinner with Kara, and when we get back, I’ll make it up to you threefold.”

“I suppose I could be amenable to those terms if you let us take the car to dinner tonight.”

“But flying is so environmentally friendly.”

“It’s windy.”

“I’ll shield you.”

“We drive a hybrid.”

“Fine,” Astra finally relented.

—

Looking around the table, Kara couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her friends and family all gathered together, laughing as Maggie regaled them with tales of Alex’s latest misadventures with Lucy, Vasquez, and Winn. As much as Alex complained about the lot of them, she knew better than to believe that she truly hated them. After all, it had been Lucy and Alex who’d willingly put aside their differences to bring down Non when Astra’s life was in jeopardy, then again when Max Lord came for Kara herself. Plus, she doubted that Alex would voluntarily spend hours sifting through childhood photos of someone she truly despised, even if she was looking only for the most embarrassing ones.

“What matters,” Alex finally cut in when it seemed like Maggie was just one step away from pulling out the photos for a show and tell, “is that we made it out just fine.”

“Which is why we’re letting Lucy have her little date night tonight without any interruptions from us.”

The laughter that filled the room was soon cut off as both Kara and Astra sprung to their feet.

“We have company,” Astra hissed. Within moments, everyone in the room had at least one weapon drawn, all of which were pointed at the intruder that Astra whisked in through the balcony window and unceremoniously threw to the floor.

“Lucy?” Alex gasped, seeing the telltale full body black leather suit she wore when she went out on her little cat burglary missions.

“The hell, Danvers? I thought you were gonna let me have my date night.”

“Since when is your date night crashing my family dinner?”

“Since when is Luthor family?”

“Since she started dating me,” Kara just about growled, crossing her arms and stepping protectively in front of Lena. “And if you’re here to hurt her, you’re gonna have to fight your way through each and every one of us first.”

“And you know better than to touch my sister,” Alex added, her tone sharp as she let her gaze flick pointedly to the gun in her hand.

“Since when do you protect the rich?” Lucy asked, turning her attention to Maggie, figuring she was the best bet for an ally—she had the whole Robin Hood schtick down to an art.

“When the rich are giving more money away than I could even if I managed a heist every day.” Lena began to object, but Maggie waved off her protests. “Alex hacked into your accounts the first time she found you and her sister in bed together. Be lucky that’s all we found.”

“If you’re so charitable, why have you been ordering millions of dollars’ worth of diamonds?” Lucy demanded.

“Most of them will be sent back to the communities they were stolen from,” Lena huffed. “I might be a villain—”

“Hardly,” Maggie scoffed. “Blackmailing the worst of your one-percenter pals with your girlfriend, stealing from your family’s evil company—they hardly make you a villain.”

Lena just rolled her eyes. “Fine. But, since the surprise is sort of ruined now…” Turning to face Kara, Lena dropped down to one knee. “Kara Danvers, the months I’ve spent with you have been some of the best ones of my life. There’s no one I’d rather extort and blackmail with than you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes!” Kara gasped, dropping down to her knees as well and pulling Lena into a passionate kiss that may well have gone on much too long to be appropriate in front of family, friends, and intruders were it not for the loud whooshing sound and the way the whole floor seemed to shake.

“The hell did you bring with you, Lane?” Alex growled.

“It wasn’t—” But Lucy didn’t have time to finish her thoughts before a large silvery portal opened up, and doppelgangers of Kara, Alex, Maggie, and Winn thumped to the floor, looking more than a little taken aback at the sight of so many people and weapons surrounding them.

“Who are you?” Kara finally demanded, glaring at the intruders, letting her eyes burn red.

“Um, I think we’re you…from another Earth—Earth-38 to be specific,” the new Kara volunteered. “We were over on Earth-1 helping out some friends, but we had to leave in a hurry, and I think maybe we set up the breech incorrectly…”

“No shit,” Alex growled, looking closely at her Earth-38 counterpart and refusing to lower her weapon.

At that moment, Lucy’s earpiece crackled to life with Vasquez and Winn’s worried questions. “I’m up in the apartment…whole story there. But, uh, we’ve got company, and I think you’re gonna want to see this.”

—

Earth-38 Winn scoffed at his doppelganger, having found himself increasingly disgusted as he heard him joking about heists and devious inventions. “How could you? After everything that happened with our dad?”

“After everything that happened, how could you not?” his evil counterpart shot back. “You watched him lose everything—his career, his money, his inventions, his wife, his love for life, his desire to live. How can you justify sitting back and doing nothing to avenge him?”

“Somehow I don’t think a murderer losing his love of life while he rots in prison really rises to the level of vengeance-worthy crimes against humanity.”

“Prison?”

“For murder.”

“What do you mean? He didn’t do anything. He let his boss take credit for his inventions, rolled over each and every time until he had nothing worth fighting for, nothing worth living for.”

Winn stood there blinking. “I…that—that’s not what happened on my Earth.”

—

Across the room, Maggie and Alex sat together, watching as their Kara and Winn worked with the other Earth’s more tech-oriented folks to try to make sure that any new breeches wouldn’t send them to yet another Earth that might be even less friendly toward them.

“You didn’t seem surprised that your doppelganger isn’t the paragon of virtue,” Maggie noted.

“I’m not.”

“Why’s that?”

Alex shrugged. “I’m not Kara. I’ve killed before, and I likely will again. I do the things that need to be done. I’ve never been a saint.”

“But you’re no villain.”

“But to have lost things like that…this Alex had both of her parents taken away and was left with another girl who had lost her whole world, who didn’t get a loving, supportive family to raise her. Instead she was left with me—some bitter teenage rebel who wanted nothing more than to see this world pay for its crimes.” Alex shook her head; it was impressive that they’d ended up as decent as they had. Sure, her counterpart had stolen and lied, but she’d never descended to murder or kidnapping or anything of that nature. She suspected Kara had something to do with it; even if this version of Supergirl was willing to claim power in a way hers never had, was willing to kill when it came down to it in a fight, she still fought for justice, still fought for good.

Regarding Maggie, Alex added, “You’re not exactly stunned yourself.”

“If I didn’t have an aunt to take me in, of course I’d have turned to petty theft. Plus, Robin Hood was my favorite Disney movie…”

Alex laughed. “I guess even here you’ve got a pretty deep-rooted sense of justice.”

“Yeah. And here you’ve got an undercut,” Maggie added, veering them toward lighter topics. “It’s pretty hot.”

“I really hope you’re not suggesting some threesome.”

With a loud bark of a laugh, Maggie shook her head. “Not in the slightest. Just, you know, if you ever wanted to change up your look…”

[prettyfunkyunorganized]

Daughter Series - Soldier 76 pt. 3

It's our favorite silver-haired soldier and his baby girl again! This might not be my best work, it just wasn’t flowing quite like I wanted, but I like it pretty well now. 

It’s basically 2,300ish words of fluff and then Talia coming out at a lesbian. The ever sweet @envy-kitty and I were talking about this a while ago, so hopefully I did it justice :)

More Daughter Series:  Hanzo, McCree, Reaper, Soldier 76, Genji, Roadhog

Soldier 76 installments: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

masterlist

Solider 76 was still struggling to find a balance between wanting to keep his anonymity and wanting to stay close to his daughter. Once the rest of her team had found her in the alley, battered and bruised but rescued, he’d managed to slap his mask back on and keep his identity hidden from Reinhardt. Lena had agreed to keep his secret from the others, but she sure didn’t like it. Having both Tracer and Mercy give him a disapproving look was miserable, but 76 stood his ground. He’d helped get his daughter to the plane and begrudgingly watched as they flew away, an ache in his chest as Talia disappeared out of sight.

Now, a month later, he still missed her terribly, but the little messages she sent every day helped. Ana was incessantly nosy about them, but nonetheless, he smiled behind his mask every time Natalia’s name came up in his inbox. Tonight, however, they finally had the chance to video chat – 76 was hunkered down in a little safehouse, and Talia was free from her Overwatch obligations. The old soldier had been anxiously watching the clock all day.

“Any minute now,” he murmured just before the ‘call received’ logo popped up. He tapped the button on the little monitor in a flash. Talia was laughing at him the next second.

“Jeez, you picked up quick,” she grinned, “were you just sitting there waiting for me?”

“Yes, yes I was,” he replied. “That’s all I’ve done all day.”

She squinted at him thoughtfully. “You’re not good at downtime, are you?”

He chuckled, “Not really, but I was twice as impatient today. It’s good to see you again, kid.”

Natalia gave him a look. “It would be nice to see you, too. If only you didn’t have that big ol’ screen on your face.”

“Right,” he said placing his mask to the side. “Sorry, kiddo. I forget I have this thing on sometimes.”

“You forget? How on Earth do you forget that there’s something suction cupped to your face,” she scoffed playfully.

“Hey, I sleep in this thing, Talia. It’s basically a part of me now.”

Her smile grew devious. “Soooo does your morning breath gets trapped in there? Ick.”

The greying man burst out laughing. “No, Natalia. It has a filter for that.”

“What?! No way! That’s ridiculous!”

“Well, the filter isn’t for that specifically, but for contaminant control and whatnot.”

“Oh,” she said, “that makes more sense.” Still shaking her head in amusement, Talia adjusted herself and moved the monitor she was looking at. She looked uncomfortable, surrounded by a white room with bright lights and nothing on the walls.

“Everything okay, kid,” 76 asked worriedly.

“I’m good,” she said quickly, “why?”

“It looks like you’re in a doctor’s office or something,” he said, craning his neck in a futile attempt to look around Natalia’s surroundings.

She swiveled around with a frown. “It’s just my bathroom, 76, no biggy.”

“Oh,” he said awkwardly, “my bad. No offense.”

Talia giggled, “None taken. I don’t decorate much, so it is pretty sparse in here.”

“Wait,” Solider 76 said after a moment to think, “why are you calling me from the bathroom?”

“Uh,” she hummed with feigned sweetness, “promise you won’t be mad?”

He was equal parts apprehensive and concerned. “What’s going on,” he asked slowly.

“Alright, so, I might have kinda sorta scheduled a date for tonight, too.”

Solider 76 couldn’t quite hold back his disappointed sigh. “Oh. I see. That’s fine. I suppose that’s what I get for making you wait so long to spend time with me.” The moment that sentence left his mouth he regretted it. He had no right to guilt trip her. Before he could apologize Talia blurted out her own explanation.

“I swear I’m not trying to blow you off or anything, I promise,” she began, looking mortified. “I just don’t get a whole lot of time off, and I thought I’d try to – ”

“Natalia, honey, it’s okay! I shouldn’t have said that. You can do whatever you want with your time, I’m just glad I get to see you at all. If you need to go – ”

“I don’t need to go! We still have at least half an hour to hang out, I just might be curling my hair at the same time,” Talia said toying with her ponytail bashfully.

“Kiddo, you do whatever you got to do. As long as I get to sit here and pretend I’m with you, I’m happy,” the old soldier said softly.

“Thanks for understanding, 76. I’ve missed you,” she responded sappily.  

“Of course I understand. I used to run that place, after all, and I definitely remember how precious those days off were. And I’ve missed you too, Natalia.”

She beamed and ruffled her long hair. She was so beautiful with those clear blue eyes, paler than his, but the same shape. Almost overly pretty. The fatherly instincts 76 didn’t know he had kicked in. “About this date . . .”

Talia pursed her lips, and her shoulders slumped. “Oh god,” she groaned.

“Please tell me you’re not seeing one the other Overwatch members. Please, please tell me it's not someone I know. Like McCree. Or Genji.” The aging man grimaced with his whole body.

“No, it’s not McCree,” his daughter laughed, “and what’s wrong with Genji? He’s such a nice guy.”

“YOU’RE GOING OUT WITH GENJI?! I – wha – when – isn’t he quite a bit older than you?!”

Natalia nearly fell off the counter she was laughing so hard. “Chill, old man, I’m not going out with Genji, and I’m not seeing anyone on the base.”

“Good,” 76 huffed, sinking into his chair. Then he snickered. “Jesse would be so upset if he heard you defending Genji and not him.”

“Yes he would,” Talia giggled. “He can be so pouty.”

“He’s always been like that . . .” Soldier 76 had far too many memories of McCree worming his way out of punishments with nothing but his long lashes and big puppy dog eyes. Good memories, funny memories. “I know I probably shouldn’t be happy to hear you’re not seeing anyone I used to work with, but I am,” 76 continued “I should probably be telling you that as long as someone treats you right, I’m happy, but that’s just not true. I’m shallow like that.”

“I appreciate your honesty,” she snorted. “And relax, it’s just a first date – little more than hanging out.”

“When are you leaving,” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant and not overwhelming.

“In a bit.”

“Where you going?”

“Local bar.”

“You going to keep your tracker on?”

“Well yeah, it’s protocol to – are you going to track me on my date?! Oh my god! Do NOT do that,” she shrieked.

That was absolutely his plan. “I just want to make sure nothing happens to you!”

“I swear on everything that is holy if you track me while I’m out there I will find you and – ” she waved her curling iron around, trying to find a good insult. “Look, I’ll find you and make you regret it somehow.”

“I’m terrified,” 76 said sarcastically with a wide grin.

“You better be,” Talia said flushing. “But seriously, don’t be weird tonight. I can always send an alert to the base if something goes wrong. I’m also a highly trained military woman, too, ya know.”

“I know, but still,” he said squirming, “I’m supposed to worry about you. You’re my – ” Even after their heart to heart, it continued to be hard for him to say ‘his daughter’ out loud. He didn’t know why. He adored Natalia, he did but . . . something kept holding him back.

Talia seemed unfazed by his hesitation, thankfully, just saying, “It’s nice to know you’re out there thinking about me, but you don’t need to worry so much. I’m a big girl, 76, clean my own gun and everything. And my taser.”

Soldier 76 tilted his head. “I’ll keep that in mind. And seriously? A taser?”

“I’ve done a lot of hand-to-hand combat and all that, but let’s be honest: I’m a short girl and not super muscle bound. I know my limits, I know I can be overpowered, so yeah, the taser makes me feel a little safer. Plus, the look on McCree’s face when I whipped it out at him was priceless!”

“Ah, Talia,” 76 sputtered through laughter, “I would have loved to have seen that!”

“Athena has it recorded,” she grinned, “I’ll send it to you.”

The two of them spent the better part of an hour catching up, telling silly stories about the people they worked with – Torb welding his beard into his turret, Ana sticking herself with a sleeping dart. Soldier 76 hadn’t been this relaxed in ages, but when Natalia checked her phone for the third time, he knew she had other places to be.

“Time to head out,” he asked, trying to be satisfied with the time he’d had with her.

“Yeah, probably,” she sighed. “To be honest, though, I think I’d rather stay in with you.”

He heart swelled, but he knew better than to keep Talia all to himself, no matter how much he wanted to. “Bah, go, Natalia. I’m sure you’re date is much more fun than this old man is. Besides, Ana will be back soon, and if she sees you on here, she’ll talk your dang ear off all night. She’s dying to meet you.”

“I’d love to meet her! She’s amazing,” Talia all but sang.

“I’ll introduce you someday, but not now. Ana is insisting on telling you every embarrassing story about me she can think of,” 76 confessed.

“Yes please,” Natalia said, bouncing up and down on the counter. “That would be the best!”

“No,” 76 barked, “that would be the worst! Objectively, empirically, undeniably the worst!”

“I can’t believe Captain Amari herself is out there and wants to meet me,” Natalia said with an awed lilt in her voice. Her phone rang before 76 could tell her just how excited Ana was to meet ‘the little Morrison girl with the nanobots.’

“Hey Andy,” Natalia said walking into her bedroom and out of sight. “We still on for tonight? . . . That’s actually perfect. I might be a little late, too. . . Alright, I’ll see you there. Later.”

“Everything good,” 76 asked, pretending he wasn’t eavesdropping.

“Yep, all good.” Her excited smile was adorable.

“Gotta say,” he said, half joking, half not, “a man showing up late for a first date doesn’t make for a great first impression . . .”

She rolled her eyes and gave him a fake frown before grinning again. “Can you blame a veterinarian for taking a little extra time with a puppy who has a sprained paw?”

The old soldier moaned. “I just tried to tear down a vet? Who was treating a puppy? Well, feel like a jerk.”

“All is forgiven, and, um, just so you know, Andy is a woman.”

Soldier 76 closed his eyes tight and nearly smacked himself. He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous, he shouldn’t have assumed. Now he was desperately trying to find a way to recover and not sound like an ass.

“Will you say something,” Natalia said quietly. “If you’re going to judge me for – ”

“Talia, I’m not judging, I swear! I just didn’t want to say something wrong. Again. I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy, kiddo. Honest.”

“It’s ok, 76,” Talia said leaning on the counter. “I was just nervous about telling you, so I got a little jittery. I’m glad you’re not, I guess – ”

“Homophobic?”

She shrugged, “Yeah. I knew you weren’t – I remember reading about how you stood up for Lena when that dignitary made a shitty comment during the original Overwatch days, but it’s different when it’s me telling you, dad to daughter.”

“You are my favorite person in the world, Natalia,” 76 said seriously, “no matter what, no matter who you like.”

“As long as it's not McCree or Genji,” Talia teased.

He snorted, “Or Mercy. Or Lena. Or Ana.”

“I definitely had a crush on Ana,” she said with a grin.

“Do not tell her that,” 76 said, waving his finger at her, “that woman does not need anything else to boost her ego!”

“Hey, she has a right to be confident,” Talia said defensively.

“True, but you don’t travel with her day in and day out, hearing about ‘that time in Mexico City’ every three days,” 76 huffed.

“Would you rather Ana talking to me about her illustrious career, or your embarrassing moments?”

“Good point,” he chuckled. “Now go have fun tonight, and I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“I will, and thanks for being so good to me, 76.”

“I’m trying, kiddo, I’m trying,” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Still glad you met me,” she asked with a smile.

“Yes, of course. Why do you keep asking me that? Almost every other message you’ve sent me has that in it.”

“Just being greedy,” she smirked. “I like hearing you say that you like having me around. It’s as if all my childhood daydreams about us being together came true.”

“Ah, Talia,” he said, melting inside, “I have to try every day not to buy a plane ticket to Gibraltar just so I can see you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try so hard and just come visit,” she suggested.

“I can’t,” he said, guilt attacking his gut, “at least not yet.”

“I know, I know,” she said, throwing on a worn, blue leather jacket that reminded 76 very much of his own. “See you on a wanted poster then?”

“Har, har,” he said, shaking his head, “but I better not see you on one.”

“I’ll try my best,” she laughed.

@watch-your-grammer @winchester-sonsandcastiel​

[irsdestroyer114]

Overwatch College AU Chapter 1

     “Room 117. This should be mine.” Jesse said to himself, looking at the label on the door, then the small piece of paper with his room number hastily scribbled in his messy handwriting. He took out his key and it fit into the lock. He unlocked it, pushing the door open. It was completely empty, but Jesse knew he would probably mess it up in two days. He grabbed the two large boxes he left next to his door and brought them inside, dropping them in the middle of the room. 

     “Hey, my little college boy.” His mom smiled from behind him, carrying his unopened Ikea bed and one more box. She put them down, then grabbed the cowboy hat off her head. She placed it on Jesse’s head, who smiled gratefully. 

     “You forgot this in the car.” She laughed.

     “Thanks.” Jesse smiled, his southern accent as thick as his mother's, although it didn't make them sound trashy, just intimidating.

     “This place is pretty far from Texas.” She sighed, looking out the window at the green scenery.      

     “Well, duh,” Jesse laughed. “The trip took two days.” 

     “Only because we stopped to stay in the motel.” She pointed out. Jesse nodded in agreement. “Now,” She clapped her hands together. “Let's get this room setup.” 

     “You can start on the bed. I'm goin’ to head to the car to grab the desk.” Jesse instructed, walking out the door. The hallway was busy with new college students getting their rooms ready and the older students laughing at how optimistic the new kids were. Jesse saw that his neighbour was a Brazilian boy about his age, 19, and was wearing expensive headphones, and Jesse could barely hear his music. He had brown dreads which he put into a ponytail and was wearing soccer shorts and a green tank top. Jesse worried, since his neighbour had big speakers he was moving into his room, and he definitely didn’t want to have to listen to the stuff his roommate listened to. Jesse saw the room straight ahead of him housed a beautiful blonde girl. Her bangs swooped over her face and she put the rest of her hair in a messy ponytail. She was wearing a golden flower crown and a plain white dress, which made her look like some kind of angel. The dorms housed both males and females, so there were a large variety of kids. Jesse walked down the five stairs to the outside and jogged over to the parking lot, where students saying goodbye to parents or socializing. He opened up his family’s green truck, which was now his; a college present. He grabbed the Ikea box with his desk in it and carried it out, closing the trunk, locking the doors, then making his way back to the dorms. He was struggling with the box, because any way he held it, it would either fall, or block his vision. 

     “Hey, do you need some help?” He heard a voice call. It came from a tall blonde man, and he looked like he was in his second or third year of college. 

     “Hah, yes please.” Jesse laughed. The man grabbed one side of the box, and took the front looking behind him for people. 

     “I’m guessing you're a freshman.” He smiled, his teeth straight and white. 

     “Yup. I’m guessin’ it ain’t hard to tell.” He chuckled, a deep, low chuckle. 

     “What’s your room?” He asked, climbing up the stairs, being very careful. “117. Near the end of the hall.” Jesse explained, now climbing the stairs as well. 

     “Oh, I’m right above you. Room 217. Hopefully I’m not too loud.” He turned to the right, making sure not to bump into any kids. “Hey, if you want I could help you get your room together. I have nothing better to do.” 

     “Sure. Thanks.” They walked into room 117 and set the box down. 

     “Who’s this?” Jesse’s mom smiled, the wrinkles around her eyes growing. All the parts of the bed were spread out in front of her on the brown hardwood floor. She moved a brown hair out of her face, tucking behind her ear. She stood up and held out a hand the the schoolmate to shake, and he did, his grip strong. 

     “I’m Jack Morrison. Nice to meet you ma'am.” He smiled. “I thought I would help out with assembling rooms since I have nothing better to do.” He explained. 

     “How sweet.” Mrs. Mcree smiled. She elbowed her son in the gut, making him laugh. “Learn from him.” She took a deep breath in, stretching her back.

     “While you boys build I’m goin’ to get myself a coffee. Want anything?” 

     “Nah, I’m good.” Jesse replied.

     “No thank you.” Jack smiled. Mrs. Mcree grabbed her purse and walked out, leaving the two alone. 

     “Wow,” Jesse laughed. 

     “What?” Jack sneered, kneeling down next to the parts of the bed. Jesse grabbed the instructions and squatted next to Jack. 

     “‘Ma’am?’” He laughed. “I haven’t said ma’am in years. Not since elementry.” 

     “Maybe your mom was right about you needing my help.” Jack teased. “Now what goes where?” 

     “Uh, start with the frame. Take the two longest pieces and the two shortest planks and put ‘em together in a rectangle.” He explained. He let himself fall to the ground, letting his legs fall in front of him and holding his weight with his left hand. Jack did as instructed, and a frame was made. “Now there’s this ladder looking thing-” 

     Jack held up a part of the bed. “This?” He asked.

     “Yup. Put it inside the frame.” Jack did as instructed, rolling out the planks onto the frame. 

     “Help me lift this up and put it where you want it.” Jack said, grabbing one side of the frame. Jesse grabbed the other and they hoisted it up; both grunting as they did so. 

     “Put it in that corner.” Jesse nudged with his head towards the right corner next to the door, and they placed the bed down, then pushed it against the wall. “Now, you need to put the little feet on it.” Jesse looked at the bed, thinking of how they would do it. “Help me turn it on it’s side.” They hoisted it up, and turned it to the side, now letting them put the legs on it. They both screwed in two, then placed the bed back where it was. “Now just screw in the headboard and we’re done.” He smiled. Jack screwed in the head board and got up, clapping his hands together. 

     “You need a mattress.” He pointed out. 

     “I haven't forgot.” Jesse laughed. “Mind helping me get it?” 

     “Sure.” They walked back out to the car and grabbed the twin mattress from the car, then brought it back to the dorm, dropping it into the bed. 

     “Damn, mattresses are heavy.” Jesse smiled, sitting down and catching his breath. 

     “You can say that again.” Jack laughed, sitting next to Jesse. “I never asked; What’s your name?” 

     “Jesse Mcree.” Jesse smiled, holding out his hand, and Jack shook it. They both had strong grasps, and squeezed each other’s hands tightly. “Strong grip. What’cha do as a kid to earn that?” He chuckled.

     “Working out is a good distraction.” He said simply, the corner of his mouth turning up into a small smirk. “How’d you get yours?”

     “Lived on a farm my whole life. Carrying hay everywhere and helping build a barn tends to build muscle quickly. The city’s so… Weird.” He laughed. “But I bet you think the same of the country.” 

     “Oh, no. I have always loved the country. I always went once a year to visit my grandpa before he died. It was peaceful there. And quiet. Something you don’t get much of in the city.” Jack explained. 

     “Ha, I get it. It’s going to be weird not going to sleep in perfect quiet like I usually do.” 

     “I remember one time I went to the country and me and my cousin needed to get out of the house so we slept outside. We could see every star in the sky.” 

     “Here the only damn light you’ll see is from the nearest Mcdonalds.” Jesse pointed out, Jack nodding in agreement. There was a minute of awkward silence between the two, not knowing what to talk about. 

     “I’m going to a party these people host every year on the first day of school. Wanna come?” Jack asked. 

     “That’s three days away right?” Jack nodded. “Yeah sure.” Jesse smiled. “Where is it?” 

     “The pool. It’s mainly just clubbing, something that’s not my favourite, but I am being forced to go and I didn’t want to be alone.” Jack explained. 

     “Why are you going if you don’t like clubbing?” 

     “I promised my friend I would go but I know that she’s just going to get drunk and ditch me. Her name is Lena. Maybe you’ve met her? She’s always moving around at the speed of light just to meet people.” 

     “I don’t think so. You’re really the only person I’ve talked to so far.” They opened up the desk and began to assemble it. 

     “Well she’s on this floor so I can promise you she’ll be making her rounds introducing herself and inviting people to her party.” 

     “The party’s hers?” 

     “Yeah. She mainly just plans them out. Other people usually get all the stuff together. She does help too though. She’s really nice. I think she would like you. But just watch out; she will try to get you into a relationship with everyone.” Jack laughed. “It’s just what she does.” 

     “What who does?” A voice called from the doorway. It belonged to a female with a peppy british accent. 

     “Speak of the devil.” Jack smiled, playfully rolling his eyes. They both turned around to see a girl about Jack’s age with spiky brown hair. She was wearing light black leggings and a tan aviator jacket with a UK flag patch on the sleeve.

     “Jesse, this is Lena. Lena, this is Jesse.” She jumped over to them, sitting next to them. She held out her hand, which Jesse shook wearily from her energy. 

     “Hiya!” She smiled, adjusting her thick glasses. 

     “How much coffee did you have?” Jesse asked, raising one eyebrow. 

     “None.” She smiled. “You should come to my party. It on Wednesday; first day of school.” 

     “Jack told me ‘bout it. I’ll be there.” Jesse smirked. 

     “Are you a cowboy?” Lena asked, bouncing up and down like a giddy child. “Uh, no. But I did work on a farm. My farm raised horses, not cows, though.” Jesse explained, adjusting his hat and continuing to build the desk with Jack.

     “Lena you don’t just ask people if they’re cowboys.” Jack asked, almost like a father to her. 

     “What are you majoring in?” Lena asked. “Or are you here for the military program like Jack?”

     “Robotics. You?”

     “Computer science. What period is your robotics class? The computer science classroom is right next door.”

     “Third period.” Jesse answered, needing to search his brain first. 

     “Hey, my robotics class is third period too.” Jack exclaimed. “We can walk together.”

     “My computer science period is third too. We’ll be the best clique college friendship ever.” She said, making the rest of them laugh.

     “My , my.” Jesse’s mom chuckled. “People are attracted to you like a magnet, Jesse.” 

     “I guess so.” Jesse smirked. 

     “Be a good influence on my son.” She whispered to Jack and Lena, both of them laughing and nodding. “He sure as hell needs it.” She turned and saw the bed. “Oh hey! Y’all got the bed done already!” She took a sip of coffee. “Need any help? I should probably get going soon.”

     “Nah,” Jesse smiled, getting up to talk to his mom. “So, see you.. This winter?” 

     “Yeah.” She looked like she might cry. 

     He brought her into a hug. “Oh don’t go cryin’ on me. You already did this with Ricky. You promised you would only have one water show.” He laughed. “Plus, you got Lila back at home. Not all your birdies have left the nest.”

     “I know. It just feels like yesterday-” She began.

     “Nope.” Jesse chuckled, cutting her off. “Ricky said you talkin’ ‘bout that made you cry.” He hugged her again, then turned back to his new friends. “I gotta drive her to the airport, so y’all should probably go to someone else’s dorm. 

     “Okie dokie!” Lena smiled. Her and Jack got up, finding a new place to hang out. Just as Jack turned out of the doorway, he poked his head back out. “When you get back, find us in dorm 217. Right above yours. We’ll finish your desk then.” He instructed. 

     “Will do.” Jesse said, tipping his hat as a goodbye.

     Jesse dropped his mom off at the airport, and she gave him her red poncho as a goodbye present and she only shed one tear. He drove back to the college, which wasn’t too far from the airport and went up the stairs and knocked on the door to room 217. Lena opened the door, and hugged him as a greeting. “You got a fancy new poncho. Wasn’t your mum wearing it?” She asked. 

     “Yeah. Goodbye present.” Jesse explained. Jack pushed himself up, walking to the door way. 

     “Let’s build a desk!” He smiled. 

     The three of them walked down the stairs and walked into Jesse’s room, which looked exactly as they left it, desk pieces scattered everywhere and boxes in piles. They finished up the desk, chatting as they did so. Jesse looked around at the boxes and sighed. “I’m too lazy to unpack my shit now so, what do you want to do?” 

     “Would you loves mind going with me to plan some stuff for the party? I know it’s not the most interesting thing to do but I really need to get it done.” Lena suggested, rubbing her arm. 

     “Sure. I ain’t got nothin’ better to do.” Jesse replied, standing up. 

     “Same here.” Jack chimed in, standing up as well. He grabbed Lena’s arm, pulling her up. “Where are we heading?” 

     “We need to talk to Sombra about the lighting and syncing it to the music; then we need to stop by Hana’s place to talk about music.” She paused to think, rubbing her chin. “Oh yeah! Some new kid wanted to DJ for the party so I need to check out his stuff. Oh, also we need to stop by Hanzo’s place to check on the setup of the party. Plus I want to meet his little brother.” 

     “I have no clue who those people are.” Jesse chuckled. 

     “Well now you get to meet them!” Lena smiled. “Now let’s hear out this new DJ since he’s next door.” They left Jesse’s dorm, Jesse locking the door behind him then they stopped in front of room 115. Jack knocked on the door, and once a short freshman opened the door. 

     “Hey. Need anything?” He asked, not recognizing Jack. Lena poked out from behind Jack, since he was much taller, and the boy smiled, recognizing her. “Oh hey Lena. Here to hear my stuff?” 

     “Yup.” She smiled, bouncing back and forth on her feet. 

     “Well come on in.” The boy smiled, inviting them in. “By the way, the name’s Lucio. You guys?”

     “Jesse Mcree.” Jesse introduced, tipping his hat. 

     “Jack Morrison. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, and Lucio took it, shaking it energetically. Jesse walked towards Jack, and leaned towards his ear, speaking in a low voice.

     “Sorry for askin’ this of you but,” He scratched his arm uncomfortably. “Would you mind sitting outside with me to smoke? Or at least show me places where I’m allowed to smoke.” His hand was hidden behind his poncho, hiding the pack of cigarettes. 

     “Anytime.” He turned to Lucio and Lena, who were getting the music set up. “We’re going outside for a bit. We shouldn’t be too long.” He explained. 

     “You two have fun out there.” She winked. “Oh, and remember. Not too much PDA.” 

     “Gross.” Jack smiled, holding the door open for Jesse. They went out of the room and shut the door behind them, then stepped outside. 

     “Thanks.” Jesse smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to say. 

     “No problem. And don’t mind Lena. She likes to joke around.” He looked around, trying to pull something from his thoughts. “Oh yeah. The smoking area is near the pool. Follow me.” Jack led him through the campus to the pool, which was a large building filled with chattering students. They walked around to the back and sat on the stairs to the side door no one ever used. Jesse grabbed a cigarette out with his  mouth, pulling out a lighter with his other hand. He lit the cigarette, covering it as he did so, then put the lighter and pack of cigs back. 

     “Sorry. This is probably disgusting.” He sighed, taking in a deep breath of tobacco and air. “I didn’t want to be addicted. I just-”

     “It’s okay, I don’t mind. If you really want I could come with you whenever you want to smoke. It’s really no big deal.” Jack offered.

     “No. It’s  gross and I don’t want you gettin’ sick from the shit.” He took another deep breath in, then brought the cigarette away from his lips, blowing out. “I never realised I would get hooked once I did it.”

     “Why did you do it in the first place?” Jack asked, staring into Jesse’s smokey eyes. 

     “I thought it was a good distraction. And it was. The bullies didn’t get to me as much. Sad thoughts weren’t as  sad. Then the fuckin’ things took over my goddamned life.” He explained. “I started when I was 14. I was sad one night and didn’t have anyone to get drunk with so I took my dad’s cigarettes and smoked half the pack. My parents still don’t even know about it.” 

     “I’m sorry,” Jack sighed, looking down at his hands. 

     “For what? You ain’t done nothin’.” 

     “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I get how you feel. The sadness and bullies. And I know what addictions feel like.” He fiddled with his hands nervously, wondering if they were sharing too much information. 

     “What’s your addiction?” Jesse asked, looking over at Jack but not moving his head. 

     “I’d rather not say. Sorry.” 

     “It’s cool. Life’s a bitch. That why you’ve gotta punch it in the nose.” He chuckled, punching the air. “So, military, eh?”

     “Yeah. I thought I would follow my grandpa’s footsteps.” He sighed. “I guess it’s comforting knowing that maybe if I do the same things as the guy I’ll end up like he did. In a good place.”

     “I know how you feel. But at the same time I worry if I do the things my family does I’ll end up just like them, and that scares me.” They paused, a silence growing faster and faster. “Fuck. We are depressing.” Jesse laughed. 

     “So I’ve been told.” Jack laughed along with him, both of them happy they found someone similar to one another. 

     “Just wondering, does Lena do that thing with everyone? Or is it just you?” Jack asked,, taking another breath of deadly substance, slowly turning his lungs black. 

     “Yeah. I used to think it was because she was lonely herself but she has a girlfriend now and still does it.” He shrugged. “I guess she finds it fun. Who knows.”

     “Lena is quite the mystery.”

     They chatted until Jesse finished his cigarette, laughing to each others jokes and telling tales from childhood. Once Jesse finished, he flicked it onto the ground, stomping out the embers. “Let’s go back.” Jack nodded and they began walking back to the dorm. On the walk back, Jesse began to study the perfect details of Jack’s face. His sharp eyebrows, his defined jaw, the way his hair was perfect without the use of products. Jesse brought himself out of his thoughts, knowing he shouldn’t fall for someone when school  hadn’t even started yet. He just couldn’t help but allow himself small glances, which turned to stares. 

     “We’re back.” Jack smiled, opening the door which was unlocked. 

     “Great! We just finished up.” Lena turned around to face Lucio, and pat him on the back. “Can”t wait to see him be the next greatest DJ at the party.” She turned around and walked towards the door. “See ya!” She smiled, and the three left. 

     “What’s next?” Jesse asked, playing with his new poncho. 

     “Hanzo, since he’s just down the hall.” Lena declared, starting down the hall. The two boys followed, and many people greeted Jack and Lena as they passed by. “I can’t wait to meet his little brother! He sounds awesome!” She squealed.

     “You only know his name.” Jack pointed out, his eyebrows drawing together. 

     “But Genji sounds like a cool name. Plus if he’s anything like Hanzo he’s cool.” She smiled.

     “Genji does sound like a legit name.” Jesse smirked, adding into the conversation. “I wouldn’t start a fight with someone named Genji.” 

     “Just don’t start a fight with the Shimadas. They are intense. Whole family trained in martial arts. It’s their entire reputation.” Jack explained. They walked up to room 100 and knock on the door, the sounds of angry yelling stopping as they heard the knocks. A boy with bright green, spiked up hair answers the door, smiling awkwardly. 

     “My brother’s doing some work, so I go inside and I’ll be heading out.” He said quickly, obviously wanting to get out. The three shrugged and headed inside.

[cutshoe15-blog]

Game Of Thrones Power Rankings: Medieval ‘I Never’ And Cersei’s Superweapon

Alex Van Mecl for HBO

Boy, if you thought last week’s episode involved some questionable military tactics, this week’s episode must’ve really been a treat.

This episode went from feeling like slightly stilted, expository fan fiction (but funny) — turning “previously on” into a game of medieval “I never” was an interesting choice — to strong conflicts about how to recognize a tyrant, to an episode of Hitler’s superweapon, all while wiping their ass with basic physics. Now, you might say it’s silly to quibble about physics and realistic tactics in a show about dragons and zombies. And to that I say, if you can’t figure out a believable way to fill plot holes in a universe where shapeshifters, talking animals, and powerful wizards exist, what are you even doing?

Down: Daenerys

You know how sometimes you just want to Yaas Qween but the crossbros just won’t let you? Must we relitigate the 2016 primary again?

It’s weird, because this episode was so strong on the subject of trying to recognize a future tyrant and yet so weak on basic physics. I’m just saying, if a fleet of giant crossbow weapons just destroyed one of my dragons and my entire fleet, my first reaction probably wouldn’t be 1) fly my last remaining dragon directly at all of the crossbows while screaming, and 2) conveniently assembling the vanguard of my army well within crossbow range.

When Daenerys first started flying straight at the crossbows I thought, “Oh, maybe she’s drawing their fire, because crossbows are notoriously slow to reload. Or maybe she’s just wheeling around behind them because surely ships can’t turn as fast as dragons.”

But nope, turns out that was just Daenerys blowing off steam. To quote Hot Fuzz, haven’t you ever fired your gun up into the air and gone “aaaarrggh?”

Still, we have to give her a little credit. Things would be better in Westeros if only people would actually listen to Daenerys. Did she not tell Jon that he would ruin everything if he told anyone he was a Targaryen? So what does he do? Tells everyone that he’s a Targaryen, of course, and ruins everything. Way to go, dumbass.

So yes, Daenerys is about to go a little nuts, but can you really blame her?

TORMUND, slapping Jon on the back: What kind of person climbs on a dragon? A madman, or a fucking KING!

DAENERYS: [*angry Tracy Flick music plays in background*]

HBO

Maybe that’s the thing about absolute power. Maybe it only corrupts absolutely because the more power you have, the more dumb bullshit you have to deal with from idiots who drive you crazy. Oh, did you like it when the man rode the dragon? Did you not like it when I was doing it two seasons ago while freeing the slaves, you ungrateful proles!

VARYS: “Hmm, I don’t if we can trust her, she seems a bit nuts.”

Down: Ser Jorah

Helen Sloan for HBO

Dry ol’ Mormont, not even dying for his lady could get him a kiss on the lips. You hate to see it.

Down: Tormund Giant’s Bane

HBO

Poor Tormund, everyone’s favorite party animal, cockblocked by Jamie Lannister, the greatest fuckboi in all of Westeros. “Pardon me, m’lady, it seems I’m having trouble taking my shirt off.”

You hate to see it. Why don’t women ever go for nice guys instead of rich phonies? Then again, maybe Tormund saying “find the coward who shit in my pants” isn’t the greatest pick-up line.

“Women don’t like me here.” Yeah, well virgins don’t either. Know your audience, man.

Up: Euron Greyjoy

HBO

Euron’s collection of flowing scarves and devastating sneers are really helping tide me over while I wait for Young Pope to come back on. It looks like he’s really lucked into a good thing here thanks to Qyburn’s crossbows. And good on him for not snickering when Cersei brought up having a child. “Babe, babe, you’re an aging ex-dowager who’s had three children by her own brother and failed utterly at keeping any of them alive, and I’m considered a Tomcat even by the standards of the race of grumbly, bickering pirates who steal everything they own from which I come. But for sure, yeah, I think we’ll make great parents.”

My man looks like Pacey from Dawson’s Creek.

Way Up: Qyburn

Qyburn is quickly turning out to be the MVP of this whole conflict. You really have to give the guy credit for developing a giant crossbow thingy that can:

-fire massive, dragon-killing bolts thousands of yards. -be mounted on ships and fired at sea -reload almost instantly, despite the fact that the hand-held version are notoriously slow -snipe an animal no one has ever seen before out of the sky with deadly accuracy

…and are apparently light and portable enough to be carried up to the top of a castle’s walls via man and horsepower. Those things are a real game changer. Who knew a necromancer would be so damned good at engineering and organization? The Citadel really has egg on their face for kicking Qyburn out.

Down: Dorn

Hey, where the fuck are you guys? There are only a few episodes left, are you ever going to originate a substantive plot in this show? So far your most valuable contribution is as a place in a song where someone “slept with the Dornishman’s wife.” Cucked province.

Up: Cersei

HBO

I admit, I questioned the wisdom of shacking up with a weaselly, iron-born rebel, but between Euron and Qyburn, Cersei is fast beginning to seem like she has a real gift for staffing. Still, I have to question some of her choices.

For instance: When you take out your enemy’s fleet with giant crossbows and they wash up on the beach, you just let them run off home? Or did they just respawn back in their own lair like a video game? Either way, that seemed like an ideal time for host-crushing. Instead you… took a bed slave hostage? Interesting.

Also: if you dispatch a professional assassin to kill your dwarf brother because said brother is allegedly such a valuable asset to your enemy, and said brother just waddles right into arrow range unarmed, why wouldn’t you just kill said brother? Was it not elaborate enough? I feel like Cersei can’t stand to see her enemies die unless it involves wildfire, necromancy, superweapons, or elaborate schemes. Foolish Tyrion, invoking Cersei’s children. Clearly, it’s the drama that she loves.

Up: Bronn

HBO

Speaking of, how the hell did Bronn just show up alone in a room with the hand of the king and Jamie Lannister in the middle of their entire army? And shhh, quiet, I don’t want the explanation from you. That just seems like something it would’ve been cool to see, and/or have someone on the show question in any way. Instead, they were like “Oh cool, Bronn’s here! That makes sense, he’s definitely a character in this show.”

[*Tommy Wiseau voice*] Oh, hi, Bronn.

Up/Down: Tyrion and Varys

HBO

Thank God for these two, they’re the only ones keeping this show from going completely off the rails (or at least, the ones keeping it semi-watchable even as it leaves the rails far, far behind). It’s nice to watch them discover that perhaps the best person to lead Westeros is the person who’s least interested in leading Westeros. The same rules apply to taking kids on a camping trip.

Still, I have to question Tyrion’s strategy of appealing to Cersei’s better nature. And walking right into crossbow range. And assuming Bronn wouldn’t slap him around just because they had history. Honestly, for a clever character, Tyrion is starting to become a real dumbass.

HBO

Down: Jon Snow

Wow, man. Are you seriously going to pull a Lena Dunham on the dog who just lost an ear protecting you from the undead? Not even one last nuzzle and “who’s a good boy?” Also, way to just let your dragon die, you dumb asshole. Jon’s leadership favorability really starts to take a hit once you factor in pet ownership.

Up: Brienne Of Tarth

HBO

The former Maiden of Tarth got to have two men fight over her, finally got it in, and in the end learned a valuable lesson about thinking you can change the handsome charming rich guy who kills people and fucks his sister. You hate to see it. In any case, it seems like she’s better off. And there’s still time to run through the proverbial airport after Tormund.

Up: Starbucks

Excellent product placement, so subtle I barely noticed.

Still, my favorite Game of Thrones coffee tie-in has to be this one.

Even: Arya Stark

Between “I’m not a lady” and “I respect that,” Arya is getting the most consistently fan-fiction-y dialogue in this show. Still, she managed to make a full recovery from getting stabbed by the Night King in less than a day and made Gendry Baratheon fall in love with her after just one roll in the hay. What tricks did she learn from the Faceless Men? Or maybe Gendry was just smitten ever since he thought she was a young boy named ‘arry. Either way, it was probably smart not to husband that one.

What Will Next Week Bring?

Some Cleghane-on-Clegane action? Qyburn getting a taste of his own dark magic? Greyworm going John Wick on some fools? Dorn… well, Dorn factoring into this story in any way? Daenerys letting those Aerys genes shine through? Necromancy spells (Jon, The Mountain) beginning to wear off? Whatever happens, I just want Davos to be okay.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

Source: https://uproxx.com/tv/game-of-thrones-power-rankings-the-last-of-the-starks/

[lhnicolelegendary]

  2017 was a fun year for great movies and tv shows. But more than that it was a great year for movies and TV with powerful and inspirational female characters and their stories!

There are some true standouts that are getting a LOT of well deserved attention but some of the ones that I personally connected with the most have not gotten a whole lot of recognition. I want to take a few minuets to really talk about the ones I really love!

I am picking my top 4 Female Power fav’s from 2017 to showcase.

Before we dive in don’t forget that all this month I am running a very special giveaway for Legendary’s coming birthday! I’m giving away two big prize baskets, one that even included the elusive and wildly popular Rose Gold Minnie Mouse ears from Disney! Don’t miss your chance to enter below in the rafflecopter! So many ways to win 🙂

#1 WONDER WOMAN

This one should come as no surprise! I was going crazy when this came out in theaters, and even back in 2016 when the media campaign really kicked it up. Wonder Woman has been a source of fascination, amazement and inspiration to me since I was nine! I loved to watch the Justice League cartoon shows (and its many forms over the years) and read the comics when I could get my hands on them.

I truly do not think they could have chosen a better actress than Gal Gadot to play Diana Prince, Princess of the Amazons of Themyscira. Gal captured the innocence, the strength, the iron will wrapped in the finest silk, and the open, honest heart that is rooted in doing what is right, no matte the cost.

The genius women behind this movie broke the mold of female characters with the visuals they used. Showing all the Amazons training and fighting in ways that were not meant to entice or capitalize on sexy female body images like Marvel does so damn often. They showed these women working hard to have the skills they do and the steel bonds that weave them together. They supported each other and empowered each other to be better, and they were there for when the other fell to help them back up. That is what gave Diana such a strong moral compass, even when she had to defy her mother, and leave her home forever to do what she believed to be right.

Diana charged across the WWI battle field when no men were even brave enough to dream of doing such a thing. For me this was the most powerful part of the movie because she had no fear of facing such danger alone and she couldn’t bare the thought of just walking away from people who needed help. She stood up for those who could not stand up for themselves and that is a truly rare and inspiring act of heroism.

I loved reading all the cool tweets and articles that came out in the weeks after. One that really sticks out for me was an article with a bunch of young children’s reactions that I read on Cosmo’s site.

Seven girls playing together during recess on Tuesday, saying that since they all wanted to  be Wonder Woman they had agreed to be Amazons and not fight but work together to defeat evil.

A boy threw his candy wrapping in the floor and a 5-year-old girl screamed ‘DON’T POLLUTE YOU IDIOT, THAT IS WHY THERE ARE NO MEN IN THEMYSCIRA’

#2 SUPERGIRL

There are so many great things this show has done on 3 seasons. I loved the light-hearted quirkiness of season one with the added layers of Cat Grant snarky inspiration and powerful sisterly devotion. Then the slightly more mature, more dynamic second season where Kara learns how to love an enemy of her planet and also how much she’s willing to sacrifice to do what’s right. And now we have season three which has gone darker than both previous seasons, but I can understand why because of what Kara is dealing with, and the underlying layers of danger that are shaping her world.

I am only going to focus on the things that happened in 2017 that really got to me about this show. The biggest moment is two-fold. To save her city, Supergirl took on her revered and god-like cousin in a battle Royale that would put Superman and General Zod’s battle to shame. Clark was at his full-strength, and fighting enraged because of the effect of silver kryptonite which made him see his worst fear (General Zod, pun fully intended above). Despite the odds being so far skewed against her, and everyone in the world thinking that no one could beat Superman, Kara-Supergirl-did. And she did it on her own, with no help or interference; my mind was blown! Part two is the even bigger fold of this scenario because of what Kara had to end up sacrificing to save the innocents of National City and the world.

Mon’el and Kara had a very intense and passionate build and burn to their relationship. I have to admit I was not happy that James got thrown to the side, but I really started to like Mon’el about half way through the 2nd season. After the truth about who he was on his planet came out, that was when I fully committed to team KaraxMon’el. She loved him, truly loved him despite the stupid things he did. Then she had to do the one thing that would rip him from her life permanently. To stop his Psycho Daxamite mother from taking over she set off a bomb created by Lena Luthor that saturated the atmosphere with lead, the one thing Daxamite’s are deathly affected by. Kara knew that doing that would mean that Mon’el would die too, and it would break her heart, but she still did it.

She was able to save Mon’el but only because she put him the pod he came to earth in and sent him into space where he was sucked into a black hole that we found out in season 3 dropped him several hundred years in the future.

At the end of season 2 in ’17 even Clark came to Kara and affirmed to her that she was the superior kryptonion, and not just because she beat him, but because she made a decision that forced her to give up her heart, and Clark admitted that he would not have had the strength to do it.

There are many more reasons to love this show and the fantastic female power that it delivers every week, and that is because of the amazing cast of strong, independent and capable female characters that don’t need men to save them. Lena Luthor, Cat Grant, Alex Danvers and Meghan–in addition of course to Kara Zor-el ;D They even threw in the most popular and well-known actress who donned the Wonder Woman gauntlets and lasso, Lynda Carter, as the president of the good old US of A. It doesn’t get much more powerful than that.

#3 PITCH PERFECT

“Say your prayers because Fat Amy is coming for you.”

I had NEVER expected to see the action sequence that kicks off the whole movie and set up for an aca-spectacular finale to a franchise I love so much! (Yes, that is largely in part because of the amazing songs and musical sequences.)

The two parts of all this that got me the most focused around my fav Bella: Beca. Yes the premise of the movie, all the girls abandoning their lives to tour with the USO to perform on military bases hoping to get picked by some crazy big shot DJ to be signed by his label is very far out there, but this is not the typical Bella competition.

Beca of course immediately catches the attention of the producer, and you can totally tell he’s fascinated by her, and she in turn is strongly drawn to him, thought she seems to not realize it. Said hot producer and DJ Khaled eventually offered a contract for JUST HER but she turned it down because she is a Bella and she was not going to stab her girls in the back like that. The best part was in the end when she told the girls about it they told her she was crazy for not taking the deal! They all go on to tell her that they realize now that they don’t want to keep singing and that real friends, real sisters always support each other and don’t hold any one back from getting their dream!

The second part about this I loved so much, and something that is so NOT a normal thing in dramedies is the fact that despite the attraction, Beca didn’t fall into the arms of the hot producer, Theo, that clearly had a thing for her. Instead she held him off and made a crack about how he now worked for her and she was going to drive him crazy.

I also loved that we got to meet Fat Amy’s estranged father and the aca-crazy he brings to the already guaranteed to be a disaster shenanigans of the Bella’s. Despite Pitch Perfect’s plot having several holes, the expected final of sisterhood and female empowerment felt natural and impactful without being over done.

#4 The Bold Type

                  I am the first to say I’m not much of a contemporary books or shows that don’t have some kind of action element to it, but this gem snagged my attention right from its first seconds! I love the dynamic chemistry between all the stars of this show, but especially between the characters of Sutton, Jane and Kat. I love seeing three girls who are so inseparable. I love that when one of them does something bitchy or stupid or hurts the feelings of one of the others, instead of losing their shit, they come together, apologize and support each other.

This show broke a lot of molds like the other shows and movies I’ve listed here and they took on a hell of a line up of real issues facing women today. They took on everything from sexism and racial issue to online bullying and rape survival in a powerful season finale that had tears in the eyes of every person that has a heart.

When the series starts we find that Sutton is in a relationship with a man in a powerful position in the company. They highlighted the age-old assumption most people would have made accusing Sutton of sleeping her way up. Instead the relationship was NOT at all about that, they truly cared for each other; but they also showed the strain it put on the relationship to have to hide their love from everyone they know. Sutton is my favorite of the three girls because her personality is so close to mine, plus I loved seeing her gain her confidence to go for her dream of working in the fashion department of the magazine and finding her courage to show what a kick ass talent she is and how she refused to give up despite making many mistakes.

Little Jane is my second favorite. I like that her story focused on her admitting that she was not what her image portrayed and her journey to discovering who she is and what she really wants in her life and career. Jane had several major story lines from having to write an article admitting she had never had a Big “O”, getting into a relationship with a notorious player,  finding ways to break past the assumptions others made of her because of her look and where she worked, and having to face the fact she was positive for a gene that can cause breast cancer in women–the same cancer that killer her mother. At the end of the season they had Jane making a huge decision that put her out on her own, but I love that they showed how supportive her tough as nails boss was of it and how she knew that no matter where she was her friends would stand beside her.

Kat is a wonderfully complex character. She had some of the more crazy but impactful story lines. She dealt with falling in love with a truly beautiful and strong feminist Muslim photographer and realizing that her sexuality was NOTHING like what she had believed all her life. Her relationship with Adina was riddled with everything from cheating to getting arrested (and dealing with the ignorant hate that people have for those who look or talk differently, especially an Arab woman.) She also had to learn how to step up into being a boss and managing the people working for her. And most importantly she learned that she needed to step away from all the things that held her back from growing into the woman she wanted to become.

There are so many shows that could be included in this list but for me these are the ones that I loved the most and I hope that if you haven’t checked out any of these movies or shows, you will and see if maybe you can’t find something of yourself in all of them. I know I sure did!

❤ always LH

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'17 Screen Favs, Disney #RoseGoldEars & more on the blog #Legendary @PitchPerfect @WonderWomanFilm #Supergirl @TheBoldTypeTV #femalepower 2017 was a fun year for great movies and tv shows. But more than that it was a great year for movies and TV with powerful and inspirational female characters and their stories!