#the whole dream was kinda weird n off but it was completely unexpected. i was so scared like tht was such a primal fear

[junkiee]

i just had one of th most terrifying and fucked up nightmares I’ve ever had in my entire life where at the end a couple of my family members injected me in the neck with something and as i was realizing i couldn’t run or scream and my vision was fading out they were smiling n said “get infected. Fucking bitch” n i woke up. so we r off to a great start this morning

[nocturnesmoon]

I had a dream about this and thought you'd like it 😭 It basically boils down into your current vampire!reader fics but instead of a vampire, reader was like. this spider hybrid thing?? I was v confused 🫡

-😎

Eight legged dreams

Monster AU Masterlist: TF141 x Spider-Hybrid!GN!Reader A/N: I really wanna know what kinda weird dreams you be having 😭 I don't know what the spider hybrid looked like in your dream, but I think I'd be terrified, anyways this is a bit short but enjoy.

-The 141 gets a new, unexpected addition to the team-

Nobody is really surprised to find that people would end up experimenting with the concept of monsters. Ever since they recruited a few in the military, leash on tight, it was only a matter of time before some twisted minds picked up on the idea of creating monsters on their own.

The existence of mythical creatures has long been proven, though a lot are concealed and extinct, what if it would be possible to resurrect them, or create entirely new ones? The thought was quickly experimented with, the study of how monsters formed, made way for the ideas of monster hybrids that didn't exist naturally.

When the 141 was first assigned such a hybrid, they were sceptical. Promptly they thought they didn't need one, they did excellent work without the external help, but it quickly became a matter of not having a choice.

It didn't matter to the higher ups whether they used this hybrid on missions or not, the 141 was to record the movements of this hybrid, and at the end of the experiment they would each give an individual report of the experience.

If the hybrid became violent or disobedient, each one of them had full authority to eliminate them.

Simple right?

That's what they had all thought before they found out what a menace it could be. They had expected something simple, a wolf hybrid, or a reptile hybrid like they had heard about, but no what they got was arguably worse.

From the moment you stepped off the truck that brought you to them, they knew something was off. Sure, they hadn't been told what kind of hybrid you were, but this was unexpected even with that in mind.

Your entire physique didn't carry the same as a human would, fat, skin and muscle distribution was completely wrong compared to that of a normal human. You were adorned by another set of eyes right under your natural ones, just as well you had 2 extra sets of arms. It looked wrong on you, like you came from some eldritch abomination. They even wondered if it might hurt to have a form like that, but you seemed relaxed as can be.

Your form started to make a lot more sense when Price finally got his hands on your files, and care instructions. He wanted to chew your handlers out for not giving him the instructions sooner, but they left in a hurry like state, all too eager to get rid of you.

Apparently, you were a type of spider hybrid. It wasn't totally certain what your abilities were, there wasn't a whole lot of guidance from your previous handlers, and it only left Price all the more nervous.

Despite their apprehension about you, you were nice and accommodative. You listened to their orders and request and at first glance you seemed normal, not taking into account of how different you looked.

It didn't take long before they started finding out about your various quirks, showing more and more of yourself very quickly. You seemed to get attached to them a lot faster than they got warmed up to you.

Gaz was the first one to figure out that you had the ability to climb any surface and stick to it. It didn't really come as a surprise once he really thought about it, but the jump scare he got from it is one he isn't likely to forget.

He was just about to go to bed, changed into pyjamas and everything, lights turned off. Just as he was about to get under the covers he sees a glint in the corner of his bedroom ceiling, he slowly goes closer, finding it hard to see when his eyes aren't adjusted to the darkness. The second you get into view, his eyes widen a fraction, the real jump scare coming when you with a very menacing voice say, "Hello Kyle," he screams for you to get out, which you do with a pout. Days later he still doesn't know how you learned his real name, seemingly no one told you, you just found out.

Another thing they figured out quickly was your eating habits, they found you to be very picky about what you ingested. Most of the time you only ate meat in small quantities, and you always seemed to hoard it in your room, wrapped up in tiny cocoons for safe keeping. Seemingly you refused to eat anything other than meat, but despite being picky you were open to try a lot of things, normally ending up hating it, but you tried it.

It started to result in you biting everything, no matter what it would be. Sometimes it seemed like you didn't fully understand what was edible and what was not. Their biggest shock came from you starting to nibble on them. It became a fixation of yours, and despite them always swatting you away, you kept going at it. Price has too many bite marks shaped perfectly from your teeth.

Soap was sceptic about your appearance first, intrigued but sceptic. He quickly warmed up to it, however, when he realized how useful it could be to have 6 arms, or useful to him that you had them. He started using you as a sort of coat rack, getting you to hold things for him while he's working. If he was practising his skills at disarming a bomb, he'd get you to hold his tools, if he was writing reports, he'd get you to hold the next ones ready, so it all went smoother. He even got you to hold his art supplies for him whenever he wanted to draw in his downtime.

You didn't really mind it, wanting to follow him around anyway, and this way you would be useful to him. You even learnt a few things watching him work, and watching him paint was oddly relaxing. He didn't even mind when you asked him to explain what he was doing, he could get very passionate once you got him started.

Price and Ghost were more interested in your abilities in the field. You were fast, agile, and dexterous, with a patience that's unmatched. You even beat Ghost when it came to sitting still, he held the record to be the best sniper on the team, having the patience of a mountain, yet when it was put to the test, you managed to beat his time by a lot.

Price always keeps a close eye on you, not wanting to admit that he's slightly afraid of you. Even though over time they've got it documented what your abilities included, you keep surprising them. He once saw you playing with a cat, seemingly having a lot of fun, until the cat got annoyed and bit you. The cat managed to draw blood...it died from poison 10 minutes later. He's always been extra wary of you after that, making sure not to touch your wounds directly if you got injured in battle.

Once you start integrating yourself into their group, their acceptance of you becoming easier and easier to get, you also start some gift giving adventures. It was mostly Ghost at first, but occasionally you'd bring the rest things as well. The problem was that the things you brought him were...dead insects...dead animals...things that in your mind were excellent gifts because you were helping with keeping him fed, right?

He did really not view it like that, and when he found a dead rabbit, wrapped up nice and tight in a cocoon, placed neatly on his desk, he snapped at you. In the middle of his yelling you ran, to where they never found out, you became like a ghost, though the subtle hints that you were still around were there.

You kept out of sight for a few days, despite how much they tried to call you forth. Ghost always had this eerie feeling that when he turns you would be sitting creepily on the ceiling in the corner, but you're never in view. He even started feeling a little guilty for snapping at you, but he really did not like to dispose of dead animals every other day.

When you finally came back, it wasn't without a peace offering, and when you stood in front of him, holding out a little cocoon for him, he could only sigh. He accepted it reluctantly but found that there were no dead animals inside it, instead there were little trinkets that you had found. Mostly things he couldn't use, but there was one thing that stood out to him, a mask of his that he could've sworn he lost, yet you had somehow found it.

When he seemed a lot happier with this kind of gift, then you did too, your mood drastically improved, and you kept bringing him more. Though he still could find it to be an annoyance when it was a bunch of junk, it was better than dead insects, and when you looked so happy afterwards, who was he to complain.

Even if you were different, nearing the end of the experiment, none of them could deny that they had come to love your little quirks. Your presence had come to be expected around base, your helpful manner, your mischievous behaviour, adding something to their work life that they've come to quite enjoy.

And when you came running, half in tears, begging them to not send you back to your old handlers...well...it only took one glance between each other to have the quiet collective agreement, that they were going to do anything, to keep you right here with them.

[cashmeremars]

dating seulgi || k.sg

pairing: seulgi x fem!reader

summary: seulgi is your girlfriend, here’s how it goes....

genre: fluff, angst, domestic!au, idol x non-idol reader

word count: 3.1k (whoops)

a/n: basically my dream life

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

how you met:

you’ve always been very art-inclined but never did much with it but sketch and paint in your apartment, so your friends thought it would be a good idea to enrol you in an art class (without your knowledge)

At first you weren’t very fond of the idea because you never really shared your art with anyone, and going to an art class meant that you would have to share your art with a bunch of random strangers and a professional art teacher (which is super nerve-wracking)

your friends manage to convince you, but not without your constant protests

the day of the first art class comes and you decide that if you’re gonna be surrounded by strangers for the first time, you might as well look nice, especially if your art is gonna suck

you had approximately 5 minutes to gather your art supplies and get in your car before you were gonna be late (because you spent too much time on your appearance)

you manage to arrive to the art studio in time and find a seat next to a girl that looked all too familiar to you

as soon as you sit down you can feel her looking at you, when you look up, she whips her head back towards her canvas

The teacher walks in and starts teaching. your first assignment was to draw a fruit bowl but in the most abstract way possible

as everyone starts to unpack their supplies to draw, you realize that you left your sketching pencil at home (typical) 

you panic for a little bit before you turn to the girl next to you

As you look at her, you realize just how pretty she is; her dark hair and bangs frame her pale face beautifully as her cheeks are dusted with faint strokes of pink that match her lips

She turns to glance at you and you realize that you’ve been staring at her for too long. She raises an eyebrow at you before you speak

“Hey, um, i was being really stupid this morning and forgot my pencil. Can i borrow one of yours?” you stammer as you look at her with wide eyes

she giggles softly to herself as her eyes crinkle into little crescent moons, she hands you one of her pencils and then extends her hand out to you

“I’m Seulgi, you must be new to this class?” she asks with a smile

You introduce yourself before answering her question ���yeah, my friends kind of forced me to do this, i’m not sure if it’ll be fun or not”

“Well if you’re not having fun then you can just talk to me. I like keeping people company”

You smile at her softly before turning your head back to your canvas. For the rest of the class you and seulgi find each other speaking to each other, or stealing shy glances at one another

After an hour, everyone’s sketches were complete. You hear a gasp next to you and quickly turn your head towards Seulgi

“Oh my god, that’s amazing” Seulgi says as she gapes directly at your artwork

Your first instinct is to cover up your canvas, but seulgi’s gasp attracts the attention of your classmates as they all move towards you to look at your art

As you get showered with compliments you can’t help but blush since everyone's reactions were so unexpected

The commotion near your canvas calms down as everyone goes around admiring each other’s artwork

“You’re so cute when you’re shy” seulgi says quietly beside you

“What? O-oh thank you. You’re pretty too” you stutter

Everyone begins to pack their bags to leave. When you turn to hand seulgi her pencil, you realize that she’s gone

You being to pack your things more frantically so you can try to see if she’s still hanging around the building

As you rush out of the room you bump directly into seulgi with a huff, she turns around startled before she realizes that it’s just you

“Um, I just wanted to return your pencil. I didn’t know if you had left the building already” you say as you hand her the pencil

She reaches to grab it and your fingers caress each other gently before she looks up at you with a sweet smile

“Thank you, you art is amazing by the way. I wish I could draw like that” she says as she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear

“What? Seulgi, your art is quite literally the best I’ve seen in awhile. If anything, I should be jealous of you” you exclaim with wide eyes. It was ridiculous to think that Seulgi’s art was anything less than astonishing. 

“Oh thank you. Hey, did you enjoy the class? I really hope you can come back” Seulgi says as she lightly taps your forearm

“Honestly, it was actually pretty enjoyable. I really loved being in an environment where everyone has the same goals. Especially with classmates as supportive as you” you reply

“Good, hopefully you’ll remember your pencil or anything. Not that I mind if you don’t” she jokes

“Please, I’ll definitely remember it next time” you reply with a chuckle

After a while of speaking, you and seulgi exchange numbers as you head towards your car

“Hey, have I seen you somewhere? You seem really familiar, but I don’t know how” you ask as you reach your car

Seulgi visibly hesitates for a bit before she replies “I’m an idol. Seulgi from Red Velvet” she replies with awkward jazz hands

Then it all hits you. You’d often see red velvet on TV and Seulgi was always the one that stood out to you the most

“Oh. Well I think that Seulgi from art class rolls off the tongue better” you reply with a wink. 

She laughs before a car pulls up and honks at her

“Oh, my managers here. I’ll text you, if you want me to” she replies with shy eyes

“Of course I’d want you to text me. I’ll see you later Seulgi” you say before opening your car door. She waves at you before walking away and into the car. She rolls down the window before shouting out another goodbye with a wide smile and both of her hands waving

You roll your eyes at her playfully before waving again and heading into your car. You drive home with a smile stuck on your face as you remember her smile. 

When your friends asked you about how the art class went, you told them everything that happened. They teased you for a bit but were also happy that you made a new friend that shares the same hobbies as you, although they insisted that you wanted her to be more than your friend

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

dates:

You and seulgi had been hanging out for the past 3 months (usually after your art classes) and she’d quickly become one of your closest friends over the course of those 3 months

You and seulgi were having an art-picnic at the park. You’d both decided it would be fun if you drew sketches of each other to your best abilities. 

Obviously you tried really hard on your sketch of seulgi (which wasn’t all that hard considering how many times you’ve mindlessly doodled her, you’d basically memorized her facial features)

The wind was blowing your hair in your face but that didn’t stop you from completing your sketch of her 

You look up at Seulgi to catch any more details that you might’ve missed and you notice that she’s smiling shyly as her face starts to blush while she draws you. You raise your eyebrow at her but she doesn’t notice.

A little while later she flicks her wrist upwards while semi-yelling “Done!” with a bright smile

You finish yours soon after with a smile. The drawing looks exactly like her; from the stray hair of her bangs to the tiny little freckles on her cheeks. 

You both stare at each other for a bit before she motions towards your sketchbook, waiting for you to share yours first.

You hesitate before turning your sketchbook towards her. You close your eyes and wait for her reaction. You hear a gasp as she quickly takes the sketchbook out of your hands and examines it. 

You open your eyes and look at her as she gapes at your drawing. 

She looks up at you with bright eyes as she starts to gush at your drawing “this looks exactly like me” she says with a smile. “Do you mind if i keep it?” she asks quietly

“Uh. yeah, of course. I mean I drew it for you anyways” you say with a nervous chuckle

There’s a bit of silence as you watch her admire your drawing. Her eyes glimmer like the sun reflecting the ocean in a way that looks like she’s about to tear up

She suddenly looks up at you before she takes a deep breath. She puts your sketch down and holds hers up towards you. She smiles nervously at you before she turns her sketchbook towards you

There’s a nearly perfect portrait of you sketched onto the paper. She even managed to perfect your hair flying in the wind.

You grab the sketch from her in awe and begin to inspect it closely. Seulgi’s attention to detail never fails to surprise you

As you look even closer at the portrait, you notice a bit of handwriting at the bottom. You slightly squint your eyes at it before your jaw slowly starts to hang open

“I know this might seem a bit awkward but I really feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Please don’t hate me, but do you maybe kinda wanna go on a date sometime?” it says in scribbled handwriting

You dropped the sketch and engulfed her in a long loNG hug (and she started crying aw)

The rest of your picnic was just you guys staring at each other and giggling

Your first date lasted around 48 hours because Seulgi insisted that she takes you on a roadtrip to her favourite places (but you wouldn’t have asked for anything more)

You and seulgi will go on dates anywhere

You’ve gone bowling, arcading, canoeing, hiking, karaoke, and tree climbing (which was kind of weird but you guys had fun)

On your 100 day anniversary, seulgi takes you out on a date to the lake where you ride those cute swan boats

You then shared a red velvet cake (wink wink) before heading over to your apartment to binge movies

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

kisses:

Even though she’s your girlfriend, seulgi is still pretty shy about kissing you (which also makes you shy)

Your first kiss was actually on your first date

You were both sitting in the swan boats, pedaling lightly as you laughed along with each other. At one point you both fell into a comfortable silence

She was brushed a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning in slowly and capturing her soft lips with yours

It was a very wholesome kiss that left her blushing aggressively when you pulled away

You leaned back in for another kiss (which she obviously granted) and that was your first kiss !!!

Seulgi’s kisses depend on the situation, for example;

Good luck kisses - these are usually the kisses that you give seulgi before she has to go to rehearsal or days of the group’s comebacks. These kisses are always very sweet and long and filled with encouraging words between each one. You grab her face with both hands and plant a big kiss before whispering good luck and patting her cheek. 

Goodnight kisses - these kisses usually happen at the end of each date when seulgi has to head back to the dorms. you guys usually spend at least 10 minutes saying goodbye to each other before one of you actually ends up leaving. These kisses are usually very soft and linger for much longer than they should, as they’re accompanied with soft whispers of how much you enjoyed the day. 

Greeting kisses - these happen when you meet up before a date, before art class, or literally just anytime you see her. When you see each other, she usually engulfs you in a warm bear hug. They’re usually just soft little pecks, maybe three in a row and then you guys are off catching up on each other’s lives

Adoration kisses - these ones usually come out of nowhere. These happen on your dates when one of you gets so caught up in admiring the other that you kind of slip into your own world, where they’re the only other person that exists. You can’t think of anything but them. So you lean in and kiss her, again, again, and again, until you get lost in the moment.

Morning kisses -  these happen at the crack of dawn. you're both still half asleep, but not enough to not acknowledge the others’ presence. Seulgi will usually wrap her arm across your chest without even realizing it, and you instinctively lean in closer. You both squint at each other, seulgi’s hair is all over her face and the sight always makes you laugh. Seulgi groans quietly as she stretches, her leg falls over yours and she nuzzles her head into your side. She lazily lands a kiss on your cheek and neck before slowly falling back asleep

Comforting kisses - the most heartbreaking kisses that you and seulgi share. Sometimes you’ll visit the dorm to hang out with seulgi and find her laying on her bed unmoving, and with shaky breaths. You quietly whisper her name and your heart breaks as she turns to look at you with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. You’d always heard about how tough it was being an idol, but seulgi never opened up to you about it because she wanted to be herself around you, not “Red Velvet’s Seulgi”, so seeing the effects of it firsthand was nothing less than shocking for you. You rush to hold her in your arms as she cries into your shoulder. You whisper that you’ll be there for her and that you’ll listen when she’s ready. Quietly rubbing her back, you plant soft kisses on her forehead and cheeks between your whispers as she slowly calms down.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

arguments:

You and seulgi rarely argue because you’re both mature adults that value communication

But when you do argue it can get pretty bad

You never really argue about petty things, so that’s why things can get pretty tense when you argue about serious things

The tension in the room when you guys argue is scary for anyone that happens to be in the room

You can quite literally feel how angry the two of you are

Your voices are always very tight and low when you guys are arguing and it would give anyone goosebumps

It gets to the point where you both just decide that you’re tired of talking in circles so someone usually storms out and goes home

You won’t speak to each other for a couple of days (like absolutely no contact at all)

Then one of you will text the other asking to come over and then y’all manage to sort it out, apologize, and go back to how things were before

Your relationship is ultimately very healthy so arguments aren’t exactly a huge problem for you

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

her love languages:

Words of affirmation - seulgi loves when you give her words of affirmation randomly throughout the day. Little compliments and random praise really makes her day. It could be about a new decoration she put up in her room, a dish she made, or even a hairstyle she tried out. The blush that graces her face is the most adorable part of it all, which only encourages you to compliment her more. Seulgi also loves to give you words of affirmation, but they always make her shy and flustered. It’s the cutest sight to see.

Quality time - you and seulgi are basically inseparable. You both always have so much to talk about and so much to do, that you never actually get bored of each other. However, both of you are extremely busy (seulgi more than you), so when you do get free time, you are ALWAYS together. Seeing her face after such a long time apart makes you never want to leave her again. You both spend an hour catching up on each other’s lives, and then you do some fun stuff together. This can include watching movies, learning dances together, biking, drawing, baking, etc. There’s nothing you two haven’t done. 

Gifts - seulgi believes that the best gift you can give someone comes directly from the heart, so she’s a huge fan of home-made gifts. This can go from drawings/paintings she’s made of you, cute little bracelets with your nick-names or initials on them, little sweaters and hats she’s knitted for you. Whenever seulgi has to travel for promotions or tours, she’ll bring back cute little trinkets that she said reminded her of you. You have a whole collection of keychains, stuffed animals, and little postcards that seulgi has sent you while she was abroad. Seulgi’s favourite gifts from you are the ones that you’ve put a lot of thought into. For example, a handwritten love letter, tickets to a movie she’s been talking about, homemade little videos edits that you’ve collected of her, posters of her favourite art pieces, etc. In your relationship, thoughtful gifts mean more than expensive gifts.

Acts of service - your friendship and relationship literally started off with an act of service when she lent you her pencil. You two are constantly doing things for the other. Oh, you were planning to throw out the garbage? I did that an hour ago. You’re hungry? Great, I just finished making you a three course meal just for fun. There’s just something about surprising one another with finishing little tasks for each other each day that’s especially heartwarming. It’s not anything special, but it shows that you care about each other, and it also makes things less stressful for one another.

Physical touch - i feel like i’ve already established that seulgi lOVES physical affection. She would cuddle you for the rest of her life if she could. Although the two of you aren’t into PDA, when you’re alone you’re basically stuck to each other. You’re always holding hands, giving each other pecks, playing with each other’s hands, brushing each other’s hair, squeezing each other’s cheeks. You simply can’t get enough of each other and it’s adorable.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

masterlist

read before requesting

to do list

[unmanageable-day]

Come to me

PART 26.75 - next

masterlist / previous chapter: 26.5

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

TAGLIST.  @samemagicpoint @unravellyn @nonuuu @seventeeneration @skylions-den @wooziverse @infinitemoods @haoraecane @sunflowergyeomie @flower0930 @riashushu — [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! 🖤 ]

a/n: pls bear with me i'm on mobile apps when i post this. i cant think of more words for this chapter, and i'm actually not very satisfied with this but anyways :")

Joshua had been preparing himself if in the end, it was you and Seungcheol that were meant to be. But still, he still wished that he could earn a chance from you, now that you were willing to hear him out.

"Y/N, do you like Seungcheol?"

"Honestly it's hard to not to.." you said.

Joshua acknowledged that. He wouldn't argue about it. "But do you like him that way?"

You inhaled deeply. "I'm not very sure right now. Yeah, he's nice and all. But something feels.. I don't know, not in the right place?"

"I'm not going to ask you to choose between me or Seungcheol right now. I just.. I don't think it's fair, at least to me, that you rejecting me because of only my image. We barely know each other, Y/N. I don't know about you, but if you notice I have been trying to get to know you better each day. Meanwhile you always look uncomfortable with me, yet you never tell me. I really have no idea as I keep trying to figure out what I could have probably done and when and how things start going wrong. I must admit that I really like the days during our internship and you started to open up. I had my hopes high, you know.."

"You have good points there." You smiled at him. "Uh, how do I put it, about Seungcheol.. I just thought it would be much easier if it's him."

"Y/N, you know what? Seungcheol won't back off."

Obviously, you said internally. Otherwise he won't keep calling me, or asking me to go eating out or something. Two hours had passed since he called when Joshua just literally sat down and breathed for a minute in your living room. And your phone was bombarded by not only texts from Seungcheol but also from Mingyu, so you had to set your phone in utter silent mode.

A small oh slipped your mouth, not sure what to say again.

"I always feel like there's a big wall, with layers of doors between us, Y/N. It feels like, as I'm trying to walk around the wall looking for the entrance and trying to unlock the door, Seungcheol already has the access card to go through every door to your heart."

Your expression softened as he went on.

"Even so, Y/N, I said to you before too, right? I won't give up yet. I won't back off either. Unless the real issue is my personality, my traits or anything about the real Joshua Hong that you can't tolerate."

You stared at him, completely forgetting the melting ice cream in your cup.

"So please use this opportunity to see me as myself, and don't let what people say about me define me. I'm nothing like that. You are allowed to ask me anything you want to know, including my secrets. Then you can decide to genuinely hate me or to continue what we may have."

You took a deep breath. Never had you thought to actually share your stories and your past to one man who you had been trying to avoid. "Jisoo, when I look at you, all bad memories in my life come back."

That was something very unexpected coming out of your mouth. Joshua was speechless.

"I just made it weird, didn't I? Especially when you have nothing to do with me before college. It's like I'm an antagonist who hates the protagonist for no reason."

Joshua calmly shook his head. He was caught off guard. "Go on."

"I know it sounds bad, but that's really how I feel. At the same time, there were something about you that intrigued me."

"May I ask what kind of bad memories that you have?"

"You and your gentleman image. Kind, well-mannered, always smiling. Don't get me wrong, it is good that you have all that traits. But you are too perfect. You remind me of my dad—or ex-dad if I could call him like that. He was a man like you, a sweet gentleman. Any women would fall for him, of course including mom. But it turned out he wasn't any of that. He was a low person who two-timed my mom, and left the family with another woman. Or women maybe. Women who actually fell into that smooth trick because of his image." You cleared your throat. "Basically I already experienced the same thing with my exes. So.."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Joshua paused for a while, seemingly trying to find the right words. "Until this moment, I just want to be someone who you can lean on. I want you to know you can come to me anytime, especially when you have a hard time. I didn't know that I was the one who gave you hard time this whole time."

"Jisoo, it's not your fault. My mom and I, we just don't want the same thing happens again. She always told me to be extra cautious when it comes to boys. I don't want to experience those times again when I fully trusted one, and at the end of the day the genuine feelings were never there. I don't want to keep having that thoughts, that I'm afraid I will be left again. I'm not lucky with boys too. I only have a short list of ex-boyfriends but they were all the same—that typical sweet and gentle and everything but only on the outside."

Your eyes were fixated on the pitch black TV screen. Your hands were fidgeting and playing with the spoon, stirring the melting ice cream in your cup. "You see, there are some times when guys like Seungcheol being playful and flirty does look more trust worthy to me," you continued.

"I know. I heard you and him talking over the bonfire when we went camping. What he told you, his dream, his goals, and his insecurities, he doesn't tell it just to anyone. Because it's like standing naked and people can see all of you, your flaws, your imperfection, according to him. He must have trusted you. If I were you, I would trust him too. So, if your heart chooses him, I will respect your decision and I hope we can be good friends. I'm sure you will be happy with him. I know he will always stay by your side."

He knew he just said it with his own mouth, yet his own words wounded him. Clearing his throat, he faked a chuckle. "Look at the time, it's almost 9. I'm really glad we talk about this, Y/N, so why don't we wrap it up?"

You were flustered that you went speechless knowing he would let you choose Seungcheol. At this rate, when you knew you were not sure of yourself, the last thing you would want to happen is you making a decision without thinking further. Just one more push, you could end up choosing that other guy for real. But, would that be a right thing to do?

Joshua got up and you followed. He began to clean up the remaining food and put the ice cream pint back in to the fridge. In no time, he put on his shoes and was about to bid you a good bye.

"Hey, Jisoo, you know what? I, too, enjoyed the first weeks of our interns days," told you as he finished tying up his shoe laces. He stood up and smiled at you. "It felt surreal even for me to finally get used to be with you. When I thought I could trust you, then it happened. The sushi bar, and the rumor between you and Siyeon.."

"Oh my God, I know, I'm terribly sorry about that. I can promise you it won't happen again, and I swear there is nothing going on between me and Siyeon. I.. if I have to I will go down on my knees and apologize, Y/N. I—"

"Geez.. no, no. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up again. That's already in the past. I'm at fault too for holding on to what happened in the past for too long. You see, I'm kinda that holding grudge type."

You crossed your arms, your eyes were looking everywhere. The mood hanging in the air was suddenly awkward again. Your guest was supposed to leave but why did you even bring up another topic again?

"I really wish we can start again, Y/N," Joshua broke the silence.

"Yeah, me too."

Joshua nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Also, I owe you an apology for trying to kiss you that night, and one more for not showing up at the sushi bar."

"Accepted." A warm smile curved on your lips as you looked at him softly. "I think you owe me another apology."

"What is it?"

"That horror movie. Let's never watch one again."

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 43 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Click here for previous chapters here on AQ or here if you’d rather read on AO3. xoxo!

And thank you again to our wonderful betas: @saiphl, @sillylittlecandycane

Chapter Summary: It’s finally the night of senior prom!! It starts out great...but will it end in disaster? (Spoiler alert: yes)

Chapter 43: I Just Wanna Dance

There were a million things Courtney loved about being in the The Scarlet Pimpernel--finally getting a chance to play a lead role in a musical, the songs themselves, the beautiful costumes they’d borrowed from a nearby university’s theatre company, the warm encouragement from Mrs. Maguire, watching her friends and castmates shine, when her dad surprised her by showing up for one of the weekend shows with a bouquet of pink roses…

But her favorite thing of all was being onstage with Adore. It was the first time they’d had multiple scenes together since playing Annie and Miss Hannigan in 5th grade, and for Courtney, it made the experience a million times better.

Closing night was bittersweet. In some ways, Courtney wished that it would never end. But she was excited for prom and graduation, their Mexico road trip and their first apartment. So even though it was a little bit sad, she didn’t cling to it. Instead, she focused on the excitement she felt about everything to come, and really tried to live in the moment, committing every single second to memory.

In the garden scene with Adore, she noticed the little wisps of hair around her face that were lit up by the bright stage lights, the way her hazel eyes gleamed, and when she leaned toward her, it was the closest they’d ever come to actually kissing in this scene. All Courtney wanted was to surrender, to just close her eyes, let their lips touch, but she fought it, finally pushing Adore away like she was supposed to at the last possible second, heart pounding, feeling a bit light-headed while she watched her sing. Really listening to the lyrics for what felt like the first time.

“Marguerite, don't forget I know who you are. We were cut from the same surly star, like two jewels in the sky, sharing fire. Where's the girl, so alive and still aching for more? We had dreams that were worth dying for. We were caught in the eye of a storm! Come again!”

Adore grabbed her hands, spinning her in a circle, and a lump formed in Courtney’s throat.

“Let the girl in your heart tumble free. Bring your renegade heart home to me. In the dark of the morning, I'll warm you, I'll rouse you . . .”

As they slowly stopped turning in a circle, Courtney swallowed hard, the dizziness getting to her, stomach in knots, and it was if Adore could sense it. She pulled her in by the waist, singing the last verse softly, directly to her. And something happened for the first time that Courtney couldn’t explain--a single tear began to slip down her cheek.

“Where's the girl? Is she gazing at me with surprise? Do I still see that blaze in her eyes? Am I dreaming or is she beside me . . . now . . .?”

The music slowly faded out, and Courtney knew that Adore was waiting for her next line, her eyes soft and expectant. She knew that she had to get it out; this was the script, and she couldn’t change it no matter how much she wanted to. So she mustered up all of her strength, squaring her shoulders and speaking, firmly and hoarsely.

“No. Get out.”

Adore’s eyes went cold as she turned and left the stage, and for a second Courtney really did think that she was going to fall, to faint or throw up or something else entirely unexpected. She knew she only had about three seconds before Willam and Gia entered, so she quickly swiped the tear from her cheek and took a deep breath, pushing down the terrible feeling that something had broken inside of her, something she wouldn’t ever be able to fix.

-

“Hey…”

Courtney whirled around as Adore touched her shoulder, a startled look on her face that softened when she saw Adore.

“Oh, hi.”

“Are you alright?” Adore asked. She’d noticed the tears while they were onstage, and had a feeling that it was more than just acting.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s...I guess just that this is the last time we’re gonna be doing the show. Kinda silly.” She wiped her eyes, looking a bit embarrassed.

Adore smiled softly, pulling her in for a hug. “Nah, I know how you feel.”

Courtney squeezed her back tightly. “Thanks, Dory. I love you.”

“Me too, babe.”

-

“You girls are just so gorgeous and grown-up,” Bonnie said, sniffling a little as she snapped photo after photo.

It was finally the night of their senior prom, and as a treat, Bonnie and Karen had gotten together and treated the girls to a little spa day: mani pedis - the fancy kind with paraffin wax and massages and rhinestone embellishments, lunch at their favorite café, and professional hair styling. Courtney had gone for a glamorous updo studded with tiny red roses, Adore for a half-up style with criss-crossing fishtail braids, and Tati for smooth finger-waves that made her look like an old-time movie star. Afterwards, they’d all headed back to Adore’s house to do their makeup and get dressed.

To Adore’s relief, Courtney hadn’t brought up her weird objections to Tati being her date, and she was friendly as can be to Tati just like usual, gossiping about their classmates, giggling, having a grand old time.

Adore was very pleased with the outfit she’d ended up with: an amazing thrift store find, a short, square-necked black lace dress, very bruja, and she’d paired it with studded black boots, fishnets, and the leather choker that Courtney’d gotten her for her birthday last year. Tati looked amazing as always, her skin-tight hot pink minidress really pushing the dress code limits, but the color so fun that she’d probably be fine.

And then there was Courtney. Adore was surprised when she’d chosen it, the sleek white two-piece so unlike her: no sparkly embellishments or flouncy girliness--just a simple, spaghetti-strapped, open-backed top and long slitted skirt that made her early summer tan glow. When she first put it on, Adore had to look away for a moment, so as not to get choked up about how beautiful she was. Then of course, she completed the look with sparkly silver star accessories, red stones in her necklace matching the roses in her hair. Before they’d headed downstairs for photos, Adore gestured to her charm bracelet, the rose-gold obviously not fitting the color theme of her ensemble.

“That doesn’t really match,” she noted, and Courtney bit her lip, meeting Adore’s eyes with a look that made her insides twist.

“I don’t care.”

Now, in Courtney’s backyard, they posed for the dozens of pictures that Karen and Bonnie insisted on. First all the girls separately, then together, then Adore and Tati, who were still posing when Roy finally rounded the corner in his white tux. The second Adore caught sight of his red pocket square she burst out laughing, unable to help herself.

“Thanks, Delano, exactly the reaction I was hoping for,” he said.

“No, it’s cause your pocket square is...Courtney, I fucking knew that you’d do that shit again!” Adore laughed, and Courtney just shrugged, accepting first a kiss on the cheek and then the wrist corsage with the requested red roses.

“I never denied it!” Courtney said. She reached out and adjusted Roy’s lapels, grinning. “I think he looks perfect.”

“Thank you, babe, and you’re beautiful,” Roy said, before ruining the moment by turning and blowing a raspberry in Adore’s direction.

“That’s mature.”

“Adore, please pull it together for two more shots!” Bonnie interrupted, and Adore put her arm back around Tati’s waist.

Courtney and Roy were next, followed by group shots, and then Karen insisted on a couple with Courtney and Adore.

Adore swallowed, letting Courtney take her hand and lean a head on her shoulder, feeling slightly awkward.

“It’s kind of funny, don’t you think?” Courtney asked, between shots.

“What?”

Courtney gestured to their outfits. “Black and white.”

“Oh yeah. Very fitting, huh?” Adore said.

Courtney gazed up at her, a starry-eyed smile on her face, and Adore could feel herself melting right back to the place she’d insisted she’d never go again as the camera flashed.

“Mom! I wasn’t ready!”

“It was cute!” Karen defended herself.

“Do you think we should call Pearl and ask when-”

“Limo has arrived, bitcheeeeeees!” screeched a voice, and everyone turned to see Willam at the gate, along with Trinity, Pearl, Fame and Violet, who all came bounding in, dressed to the nines.

Courtney squealed happily, clapping her hands. After about ten or twenty more pictures of the whole group, Bonnie and Karen finally dismissed them, letting them pile into the limo, laughing and screaming happily, music blasting.

Adore was the last one to go, turning to give her mother one last little wave, pretending not to notice the tears shining in her eyes as she called, “Bye Ma! Don’t wait up!”

-

The hotel ballroom where their prom was held was the fanciest place Adore had ever been. After looking up at the huge crystal chandelier over the dance floor, Adore turned to Tati with a look of confusion and asked, “Oh my god...is our school bougie?”

Tati laughed, pulling her onto the dance floor with the rest of their group. The DJ was surprisingly good, and they twirled and laughed, dancing for hours before Tati finally admitted that her feet were killing her and she needed a break.

“Ugh, same,” said Pearl.

“This is why you wusses should have worn more comfortable shoes,” Adore proclaimed, modeling her combat boots as they trooped over to grab some punch and sit down.

“Not everyone can pull that off, dear,” Tati told her.

“Or you can just do what Trinity did,” Pearl said, gesturing to her prom date, platform sandals kicked off to the side of the dance floor, her bright yellow dress hiked up with her hands as she, Courtney and Willam shook it to Shakira’s ‘Hips Don’t Lie,’ Roy awkwardly joining in with decidedly less enthusiasm than the others.

“Still think my solution’s better,” said Adore, settling down at the table with a glass of sugary punch.

They relaxed for a few minutes, chatting and giggling, before they were joined by first Violet, then Fame, then Bob, who came bounding over with April to hype up the afterparty.

“You guys are going, right? It’s gonna be amazing!” he exclaimed, and Violet shook her head in disbelief.

“You really think a school-sanctioned afterparty will be that much fun?” she asked.

“I’m telling you! Everyone says it’s the best part of the night.”

“Really? I would think the best part of the night is how sexy your girlfriend looks,” said Pearl, sending a wink in April’s direction, making her giggle and preen.

“Okay, yes, she does, but also...after the afterparty, there’s a pancake breakfast. So, come on...”

“Robert! Hello young man! Lookin’ slick!” Roy called, walking over to give Bob a hug and slap on the back. He looked a bit sweaty and disheveled, and it made Adore chuckle.

“Courtney’s giving you a real workout, huh?” she teased.

“That girl wouldn’t leave a dance floor if you paid her,” Roy answered with a sigh, dragging a chair over from a nearby table to sit heavily. “Luckily, Willam and Trinity have much higher endurance than me, so-”

“Guess again!” Trinity exclaimed, as she flopped into Pearl’s lap. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

“Aww, you guys all abandoned the blue-eyed devils,” Bob said, gesturing to Courtney and Willam on the dance floor, making April crack up.

“They’re fine,” Roy said, leaning back in the chair, eyes closing.

Adore looked over at the dance floor, watching them while everyone chatted. When the song ended, to her surprise, Courtney made her way over to the group too.

“Whoa, maybe she’s actually tired! Did someone slip you some Benadryl, Court?”

Turned out, she was only there to ask Adore to come back onto the dance floor.

“Will you come dance with me?” she cajoled, reaching out her hand, a soft and hopeful look in her eyes.

“Uh…” Adore knew this was a bad idea. As much as she tried not to, told herself not to, she’d already spent too much of the evening with one eye on Courtney with Roy, fixated on the way they laughed and flirted and touched each other--it was like regressing two years, and she just wasn’t in the right headspace to confront her feelings.

“Please?” Courtney touched Adore’s lace-covered wrist, adding with a twinkle, “I’ll be your best friend...”

Adore had to chuckle at that, standing up with a resigned sigh. “Good one, bitch.”

Courtney beamed at her, leading her to the dance floor. Of course, it was some slow, schmaltzy pop ballad. And of course, Courtney’s arms immediately went around her neck, pulling her close. Head resting on her shoulder.

Adore didn’t know where to put her hands. Courtney’s skimpy top left so much of her back exposed, she could feel herself panicking before finally letting them settle on her hips. Even then, it was impossible to avoid her waist, her thumbs grazing the soft bare skin a few times before she tried tucking them into her palms.

“I love you, Dory,” Courtney murmured, and Adore gulped.

“Love you too.”

Adore tried to get her heart to settle, tried to stop the churning in her stomach, the song dragging on for what felt like an eternity while she sweated and held back her tears. When it finally ended, she broke away immediately, mumbling about how she needed a cigarette, and bolted from the dance floor.

-

Courtney watched Adore go, misty-eyed, wondering why she always ran away just when it felt like they were getting closer, and couldn’t help the dejected feeling inside, stomach twisting with regret.

“Punch?”

Courtney turned around to see Roy, holding out a cup of red punch for her. Of course he was. He was always there: dependent, steadfast, the one person in her life that she could always count on. The guilt Courtney felt would be crushing if she didn’t love him so much.

She slid her arms around his waist, pulling him close, asking, “How did I end up with the best boyfriend in the world?”

Roy sighed, setting the cup on a nearby table and wrapping her into a hug, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Just lucky, I guess.” After a few moments, he ventured softly, “Do you wanna dance some more?”

“Yes,” Courtney said, arms tightening around him even more. “Yes, I really fucking do.”

-

“There you are…” Tati said, when she finally found Adore in the hotel courtyard, sitting against a stucco wall, smoking a cigarette. “You alright?”

She settled in beside her, maneuvering the best she could so as not to let her dress ride up around her hips. This didn’t feel like a conversation where it would be productive to have her underwear showing.

“Just fucking peachy.” Adore took a long drag.

“Yeah. Listen, I-”

“I really don’t want any advice right now,” Adore said, and Tati immediately closed her mouth.

“Ooookay,” she breathed, realizing that now wasn’t the right time to say what she had to say.

“Sorry. It’s just, my head is all-”

“Nah, I get it.” Tati patted her fishnet-covered thigh.

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Adore’s head leaning back on the wall, Tati watching the smoke curling up into the midnight sky.

“Can I ask you a question, though?”

“I guess.” Adore’s voice was tired and hoarse, so Tati tried to phrase it as gently and tactfully as possible.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen? If you, like, told her?”

Adore took a long drag of her cigarette, pondering the answer before saying, “I could die. I could literally die.”

“Alright.” Tati said, stretching her legs out in front of her. She wasn’t inclined to push it, adding a simple, “Just seems like something to think about.”

After a few more moments of tense silence, Adore sniffled, and Tati realized that she was crying.

“I should get out of here,” she said, stabbing the cigarette out on the pavement, using her lacy sleeve to wipe her eyes.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No. It’s prom. Stay and have fun,” Adore said, and Tati was overcome with sympathy, wished there was something she could do to make her feel better--or at least, enough better to have a carefree and fun night like they all deserved. It had started out so well, and Tati still wasn’t sure where it’d gone wrong.

“Adore, come on, you can-”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Tati said, staying on the ground while Adore got up, resigned to just let her have her feelings, realizing that there really was nothing she could do in that moment.

-

“Yeah, I know! There’s just something off about his face!” Violet laughed, following Trinity out of the bathroom, still talking about an idiot jock who’d tried to feel her up on the dance floor.

“I think it would be an okay face if he wasn't such a jerk,” Trinity said.

“Okay face is probably the best he can hope for,” Violet agreed. “But don’t you think he-”

Violet stopped short, abdomen twisting when she spotted Fame, in the same location they’d left her outside the restrooms, looking beautiful as ever in her full, floor-length gown covered in a large-scale blue flower print. Only she wasn’t alone. There was a blonde girl chatting with her...a blonde girl in a short, sparkly pink dress who was acting awfully familiar, a hand on Fame’s bare upper arm, flashing a bright white smile.

“Who the hell are you?” Violet asked, and the girl turned to her, blinking her brown eyes slowly.

“Excuse me?”

“I said-” Violet began, but Fame jumped in.

“You know what? We should talk later,” she told the girl, mouthing ‘sorry’ in an annoyingly obvious way, clearly not caring that Violet could see her. Or maybe doing it specifically for Violet’s benefit. Violet’s nails dug into her palms at the thought.

“Alright. Later then. Can’t wait to hang out again,” the girl said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Fame’s cheek before sauntering away with a victorious smirk.

“Who the fuck was that?” Violet asked, and Fame turned to her with crossed arms and a crosser expression.

“Hey, I think I hear...something...uh…” Trinity stammered out, backing away so as not to get caught up in the drama, calling out to an imaginary person, “What? Oh, you need-okay, coming!”

She turned and ran back towards the ballroom, leaving Fame and Violet alone.

“Well?” Violet asked, her tone still hostile, but how else was she supposed to be right now?

Fame let out a long sigh, asking, “Why are you so difficult?” She began to walk away, but Violet reached for her, fingers closing around her wrist and tugging her back.

“Fame. Who was that?”

“She’s just a girl I know from working at the bakery,” Fame said, eyes closing as if the conversation was too exhausting for words. “She graduated last year, but I guess she’s here with a friend, so-”

“No. I mean, why were you flirting with her? I thought tonight was about us.”

“Vi…” Fame finally looked into her eyes, blue eyes a bit sad, shaking her head. “Why do you always have to do this?”

“Do what?” Violet could feel herself growing more and more agitated, more and more uneasy, the ground shifting beneath her.

“Talk about us, like that. You’re my best friend. You know how much I love you. But not...not like that.”

Violet didn’t like where this conversation was going, not one bit. She bit back her anger, her impatience, her jealousy, and made her voice as soft and calm as possible.

“But you agreed to be my date. You came here with me-”

“As friends.”

“I don’t get it!” Violet exploded. “You finally broke up with Patrick, officially, and-”

“This is not about Patrick!” Fame exclaimed, exasperation all over her face. “It never was. I guess it was easy to use him as an excuse, but...I just don’t think of you that way.”

Bitterness swirled in Violet’s chest, and before she could stop herself, she spit out, “But you think of that random slut that way?” She gestured angrly in the direction of the blonde, the girl who it seemed had single-handedly managed to ruin her night. “And what did she mean by ‘again’?”

“I...we kind of...hooked up last year,” Fame admitted. “When Patrick and I were on a break, after-”

“You hooked up with a girl and you didn’t tell me? What the fuck?” Violet said, anger and confusion combining, the whole thing like hands wrapped around her throat, making her eyes water and her chest constrict.

“Well, I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I guess I was wrong, since you’re being so understanding.”

“Fuck you,” Violet spat out, turning and walking away.

“Violet, wait!”

Violet stopped walking, but she didn’t turn. She couldn’t bear to look at Fame’s face right now, not when tears were burning in her eyes, threatening to spill over any second.

“Look, I’m sorry! Okay? I guess I just...I didn’t want to say anything that would risk hurting you. Because I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I do love you-”

At that, Violet whirled back around, those angry tears streaking hotly down her cheeks.

“No you don’t,” she said. “You never have. God, I’m so stupid.”

“Vi-”

“Enjoy your prom,” she choked out, before breaking away and rushing towards the lobby. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew that she couldn’t go back into that ballroom, with those people. Not like this.

-

Adore trudged slowly through the parking lot, wondering where she should even go. This part of town was mostly new--lots of pointless high-end stores, yuppie restaurants, hipster bars.

“Hey! Where the fuck are you going?” demanded a voice, and Adore smiled to herself, turning around to find Violet, face streaked in tears, stomping from the hotel angrily.

Adore chuckled sadly. “You look like I feel.”

“Well you look like shit,” Violet countered.

“Okay, so I guess I look like I feel too.”

“God fucking damn it, why can’t we just have one night where we’re like, normal teenagers?” Violet exclaimed, face turned upwards, and Adore shook her head.

“I dunno.”

“Where were you going, anyway?”

“I honestly don’t know. Just...anywhere but here.”

“Same.” Violet took her hand. “I think there’s a diner a few blocks away that’ll be open. Come on.”

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Thinking of You

Summary: A tipsy text leads to an unexpected confession from Bucky.  Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 1705 Warnings: Smut, drinking.  Request: Hey, I have a Saturday night request: Bucky and/or Steve x Reader. Reader sends a tipsy text message stating her true feelings towards the guys. when she gets home they confront her on it. Smutty fluffy etc it’s up to you! Thanks so much! - @shield-agent78​ Square Filled: @buckybarnesbingo​ C3; Free Space. [Rating: M] A/N: First of all, I apologize I didn’t get to this last night, but I hope the full-length one-shot made it worth the wait! Smut hasn’t ever been my strong suit, so I hope I didn’t muck this up too terribly much. 

A night out with the girls. You had waited too long for this, and now that the outing had happened, you had celebrated with one too many drinks. You made it home, locked the front door behind you, then dragged your tipsy as through your nighttime routine. 

Once you were in PJ’s with a freshly cleaned face and your teeth brushed, you settled into bed and picked up your phone to check for messages from your girlfriends that they had all made it home safe. You set your alarm and then, without thinking much of it, you opened up a text message to your friend Bucky. 

Just got home for the night. Thinking of you. I think of you a lot. A lot more than I should. 

The liquor had lowered your inhibitions, and you didn’t even give the test a second thought as you pressed send and then settled in to sleep. 

The next day, you got up, had breakfast, worked out, and took a shower. Before you got to work on hair and makeup, you noticed you had a new text, from Bucky, asking if you wanted to come over for takeout and a movie later. 

Absolutely. I’ll pick up the food. You better pick out a good movie. 

Define good. ;) See you later. 

You chuckled and went on about your day. You have several errands to run, the last of your hangover to ward off, and a nap would probably be a good idea before you hung out with Bucky later. It took a few hours to get through your to-do list, but once you did, you took some over the counter meds and crashed for a late afternoon, two-hour nap. When you woke up, you washed your face, piled your hair into a messy bun, and donned a pair of comfortable shorts and a t-shirt. 

Bucky answered his door when you arrived with a big smile. “Hey there, beautiful. C’mon in.”

“I hope you’re in the mood for tacos,” you told him in a sing-song voice as you floated into his apartment and set the bag of tacos on the coffee table. “Is there beer in the fridge?”

“Of course. How about Back to the Future?” he asked, turning on the TV. 

Popping open two beers in the kitchen, you called that that would be fine. “Didn’t we watch that not too long ago?” 

“What can I say, I can kinda relate to it, in a reverse, weird kind of way.” 

You smiled as you kicked off your flip flops and took a seat on the couch. Bucky sat next to you, diving into the tacos. He handed you one first, then helped himself. 

For the first thirty minutes of the movie, as you two worked through the tacos, that was about how things went. When they were gone and your beers were empty, you helped Bucky gather up the trash and dispose of it, then went into the fridge for a couple more beers. 

When you turned around, Bucky was standing closer to you than he had ever been. You jumped back a little, startled, then chuckled. 

“You scared me.”

“Sorry,” Bucky apologized sheepishly. He closed the refrigerator door behind you and took the beers from your hands, setting them on the counter. “Are we gonna talk about it, Y/N, or not?”

You frowned. “Talk about what?”

“The text message.”

“What text message?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “C’mon. The one you sent me last night.”

You shook your head. “Buck, are you sure you’re not confusing me with another girl?” The look he gave you told you expressly that he was certain he wasn’t confused. “Okay, listen, I was three sheets to the wind, so if I texted you, you’re going to have to remind me what it said.”

With a frustrated sigh, Bucky stepped back and took his phone from his pocket. He cued up the text thread with you and handed you the device. You scrolled back from the texts you had exchanged about hanging out today and confirming the details - and then you saw it. 

“Oh my … Bucky, I’m so sorry. Like I said, I was drunk, and I clearly wasn’t thinking. I can explain.”

He nodded. “I’d like you to explain, actually. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You bit your lip. Trying to play dumb was obviously out of the question. Scooting back so you could grip the edge of the counter, you looked anywhere at Bucky. You explained that you had always found him attractive, but as you got to know him, you had really fallen for him. He was fun to hang out with, wasn’t a complete dick like most guys you knew, and, most importantly, he made you smile even when you didn’t want to smile. 

“But your work keeps you busy and is something you need to focus on, and then there’s the whole past thing and —”

He cut you off with his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet and soft, just as you knew Bucky to be. His hand came up, a vibranium finger hooking under your chin. He pulled back, only a little, giving you a little smirk. 

“You should have told me sooner, sweetheart.”

He kissed you again, grabbing your hips and lifting you to sit on the counter. His tongue pushed into your mouth, but you weren’t complaining. You’d hoped for this, dreamed about it, for months. 

You grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off of him before tossing it to the side. Bucky’s hands gripped the underside of your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the counter and pressing into you. 

“We can take this slower, if you want,” Bucky offered, “I’m not trying to push anything, but you’ve been on my mind forever, it seems.”

You pretended to think about it. “I think taking it slow is the last thing on either of our minds.”

“I think you’re right,” Bucky answered as you pushed your hips forward to grind against him. Bucky groaned, nearly growled, and pulled your legs around him before carrying you to his bedroom. 

He set you gently on the bed where you discarded your shirt and unhooked your bra. Bucky grinned and leaned forward to kiss you as he slowly moved the strap down your arms before ridding you of the garment and coming back to cup your breast. He leaned you back on the bed, kissing down your neck, over your collarbone, and sucked a spot dead in the middle of the valley between your breasts. You let out a slow breath; you appreciated his attempt to make this worth your while, but you had been so pent up over him, you needed to get this first time with him going — the faster the better. 

“Bucky,” you started, moaning as he slid a hand into your shorts and teased your wet folds for a few strokes before pushing to thick fingers into you. 

He nibbled on your ear. “Yeah?”

“I don’t wanna rush things, either but I … I …”

Bucky looked into your eyes; his pupils were as lust-blown as you imagined yours had to be. He must have seen it because he smirked, and you didn’t have to finish the sentence. He pumped his fingers into you only a few more times before standing and pushing away his pants and boxers. By the time he had found a condom and rolled it onto himself, you had pushed your shorts and panties down your legs. He put a hand under each of your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of you. 

“I won’t be long,” Bucky promised, “but I wanna taste you before we do this.”

You weren’t worried at all about Bucky taking his time with his mouth between your legs, but after a couple minutes of ecstasy, you pulled him up from the floor, wrapped your fingers around his dick, and guided him directly to your entrance. Bucky wasted no time in seating himself fully inside of you, the pace of his deep thrusts was slightly rough; you weren’t complaining. 

“Shit, this has really been building up for both of us,” you commented, your fingers digging into Bucky’s back. 

He pressed his mouth to yours. “I wanted our first time to be different, but damn it, Y/N. You turn me on more than I have ever imagined.”

You sat up and pushed him so that you were on top of him. Bucky gripped your hips so hard, you knew it would likely leave bruises, but you didn’t care. You smirked down at him as you rolled your hips over him.

“So you’ve thought of this before?” 

Bucky chuckled briefly. “Shut up and fuck me, Y/N.”

And you did, riding him like you had thought you’d only ever dream of doing. As the both of you neared the edge, Bucky flipped you back over, holding you close and speeding up his thrusts. The harder he pounded into you, the closer you got. Finally, you called out his name as you rode out the wave of pleasure that washed over you. Bucky’s orgasm was right on the heels of yours; your name left his lips close to your ear as he came. 

He fell to your side but stayed close, kissing your temple and cupping the back of your head to kiss you sweetly again. He apologized again that the two of you had rushed into physical intimacy, and that it hadn’t been the sweet, special thing he would have wanted for the two of you. 

“I don’t see you as just a piece of ass, I swear.”

He looked so nervous, and a little guilty, you found it adorable. “Bucky, I swear, I’m all right. The sweet and special will come. We got past the difficult part — we admitted to having feelings for each other.”

“That is true,” he ceded. “Will you at least stay with me tonight? I’ll play with your hair till you fall asleep.”

You smiled; there it was. The sweet and the special that you had known would come in a dating relationship with Bucky. 

[singingunderthecurtain]

God, Is That You? | 20190322

Author: @julietsoddeye​ Genre: Angst | Fluff | Fantasy AU Pairing: Xiumin x Female Reader (ft. Taeyong) Warning: Language | Mention of bleeding/blood in this update

Plot: Dear Diary, hopefully this is just a dream because this is not how he said it should be!

A/N: sorry this took a while D:

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~Walking along through the mud, you feel very depleted yet your feet are not stopping for anything. 

You don't have the slightest idea why you're strolling through this filthy way, or for how long you've been doing it. Your feet are exceptionally dingy from strolling alongside this wet soil beneath your feet.

Why are you even bare feet? 

Your beautifully-fit amaranth dress has splatters of blacks and greys and browns of different shades because of the muddy earth.

“Didn’t I tell you to be careful of men?” 

You heard the familiar voice of the ethereal pink gentleman. 

The sound of it kind of disappointed, not angry, but just a bit let down.

“God–uhhh, Angel... Guy, dude?” you call out, your feet still not stopping from marching on. 

He's not anywhere in sight, everything you can only see is a ceaseless expanse of sloppy earth and dim skies.

“Come, my gummy bear, just a little more. Come to me.” 

His voice sounded bright and encouraging now.

"Where are you?" you call for him once more, you can feel tears welling from your eyes now, somewhat terrified and beaten since you can't see him.

The unexpected yearning to see his divine features is hurting you profoundly. Your heart consumes for his essence. You need to see his face, you need to feel his touch, you need him. You unexpectedly need him like your skin is arid land and he is the water that can just extinguish your desperate insatiability, your extreme yearning.

"Simply follow my voice," he trains and afterward began to sing a melody,

“Will you come a little closer? I want to stay next to you like this. It’s alright, even if you don’t say anything. When I look into your eyes, I know, I feel everything. Will you look at me? You shine in me. Can’t get any more beautiful. You’re the reason that I keep walking”

The timbre of his singing voice was similarly just about as delightful as you recollect his beauty was. 

The exhaustion and stress you felt are gradually dissipating and the more he sings the quite-familiar-but-not-really ballad with his lovely voice, the easier it was to walk, and slowly, slowly you can really, truly feel yourself float… 

Drifting away from the earth, the wreck of the wet earth you were formerly strolling on.

You close your eyes as you sail gently on the air,  traveling somewhere and nowhere at the same time. The cool wind blowing gently on your face, your hair, your whole being.

And suddenly you felt it—you felt warmth, kindness, serenity, love—you felt him… Finally.

You opened your eyes and he was there. The benevolent, sincere, and enchanting beauty that is this… Man. 

He was holding you inside of his embrace. Both arms are covering, sheltering you from all harm. No more mud, no more strained feet, no more suffering. Just peace, harmony, and happiness.

All is well. Not a damn thing can hurt you now.

"You're safe now, gummy bear," he murmurs, the gleam in his expression is particularly lovely as he says the pet name to you.

“Gummy bear,” you repeat in a whisper.

And he gave you a smile so white and radiant, you know it can light up the whole place if not the sky is already so bright. For a moment your eyes are focused on his lips and when you look back up into his eyes, he makes a small shift of acknowledgment with them, a squint, letting you know that he’s got you and you’re okay and you’re cherished and snug inside his arms.

His face gradually inching to yours, eyes slowly shutting, you can feel the warmth of his breath hushing your own eyes shut. What's more, when his lips touch yours, you both burst into a million flying butterflies.~

You open your eyes, “just another dream,” exits your lips.

But you’re smiling. 

It was a beautiful dream and you can’t help but linger on it.

You enter your bathroom with a tiny dance.

You do your hair and makeup while humming a melody.

You watered and sprayed your plants with sway and swing to your feet.

You greeted the bus driver, the barista, and the office building guard with a bigger smile.

You can feel today is going to be a good day.

Of course, you’re early for work, no one’s around yet. So you place the coffee you bought for Taeyong right in the middle of his table and go sit at your desk. You check your messages and sure enough, there’s a bajillion messages from XiuMin. Something about what you were talking about last night until you fell asleep on him again. And, of course, you reply one by one of each opinion and take about the topic he sent.

You were smiling from ear to ear and you didn’t notice Taeyong arriving.

“Someone is happy this morning,” Taeyong suddenly chuckled as he dropped his bag on his chair with a silent thud.

You were slightly jolted with his hasty entrance, but you got over it pretty quickly and toggle your phone asleep and lay it screen down.

“Just woke up to the right side of the bed today,” you grin enthusiastically and take a sip of your already lukewarm coffee.

The first half of the day went on as normal. Although Taeyong was called by Mr. Lee fifteen minutes before lunch, so Taeyong told you to take your lunch without him. Probably one of those lunch-out things they do once a month to meet clients. 

You’ve been working for the company longer than Taeyong, heck a lot of your coworkers have been working there longer than you both combined, but Mr. Lee has a weird ‘favoritism’ over Taeyong. Sometimes, you can’t help but feel a little bad, especially on projects you know you’re gonna excel at. But you know Taeyong can’t control it, that the Team Leader favors him over anyone. He’s doing so great at his job so far.

So you take lunch alone again, this happens monthly. At least it only happens once, or twice when Taeyong goes to a different project team that month. And you notice people are still whispering around you. You have to get used to this, this isn’t going to be the first and last time until you find another job that is. But knowing how good this one pays, that option is not available for now.

“Hey, girl. Can I sit with you?” 

Your inner thoughts were abruptly broken off by Jimin’s appearance.

Oh, Jimin, the office “fairy”, the pretty girl Jimin. Mr. Lee’s ex-secretary, who was ‘demoted’ to office staff because she was lazy and couldn’t keep up with his tight schedule and demands. The department couldn’t let her go though, because some clients always ask for her. She’s not only an “asset” to the company, she was also Taeyong’s ex-girlfriend. They briefly dated last year, but Taeyong couldn’t stand her. She’s beautiful outside, but kinda rotten on the inside. Loves to insult people behind her back and Taeyong couldn’t stay with that.

“Uuuh, sure,” you scoot a little bit aside to make room for her, even though you’re alone in a six-people table and she has plenty more space. And of course, true to Jimin fashion, she sat right snug beside you, almost sitting on half of your thigh, almost ugh.

“Your best friend out on a lunch date with Mr. Lee again?” Jimin jokes condescendingly. Her smug and snooty face, you just wanna smash on the plate of the vegan meal in front of her.

But before you can even react to her statement, she has managed to interrupt you again.

“Anywho… There’s a rumor circulating about you in the office, did you know?” Jimin whispers the last part, as if there are too many people around you when in fact there’s only you and her inside the pantry.

“Oh? I didn’t know,” You answer blandly and took a bite of your burger. Your lukewarm response doesn't seem to bother Jimin, it’s like it just flew over her head.

She took two big bites of her salad, with a little sway to her shoulders as she squints her eyes at you with intent before answering.

“Mmm, I don’t wanna tell you,” Jimin teases with a giggle.

“Okay,” you copied her expression with fake enthusiasm.

“Okay, I’m gonna tell you!” she squeals like a pig, “wait–” she gestures her pointer finger and pauses to gulp some water from her pink as hell hydro flask.

After she was done drinking, Jimin puts the lid back on her metal water bottle and pushes her unfinished food to lean her elbow on the table, and rests her chin on her palm, looking at you with an unpleasant and obnoxious smile on her lips.

“I just heard this from everyone, don’t get mad…” she starts, “apparently, you sleep around with our managers, yes multiple of them, that’s why they called you back after just two days.”

The abrasiveness on her tone sounded so odious and horrible that it made you make a sour expression on your face. You dropped the half-eaten burger on the paper wrapping and made you lose your appetite completely. 

Jimin’s face lit up when she successfully agitated you.

“That is not true!” you bellowed, hitting the table with your fist. Her face shook in surprise and then she tried to hide her laughter with a purse on her lips.

“Oh, of course. It’s not,” she gave you a wink and then leaves you there frozen, utterly stunned, dazed, confused… FLABBERGASTED!

You are shaking!

You are shaking with anger and rage, your skin is buzzing with disgust that someone would make up some bullshit like that. Not, in any event, taking into account that those things they were making up would destroy reputations as well as might ruin lives.

And then your shoulders fell. They just fell on your body because you know you can’t do anything about that malicious gossip. Because the more you deny something, the more they will believe the opposite. So you inhaled deeply and then exhaled as loud as your shivering voice could let you, gathering all the unfinished food and even Jimin’s, because ~CL.A.Y.GO~, put everything in the bin and then washed your hands.

You are not going to cry! You are not going to break-down over dumb office gossip that isn't real. Yes, that’s what it is, just foolish and stupid dumbfuckery from a mornic as hell blabbermouth! 

Whoever made up that fucked up story, you hope they develop warts in and around their mouth and on their tongue because they deserve that for having such a foul, baseless account about you. 

As you were about to pull up your chair that was neatly tucked under your desk, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You look behind and it was Taeyong. So you smiled to hide your previous stress. You are sure he already heard these rumors, you don’t need to let him know you’re affected by the ugly tattles around the office.

“Hey, dude,” Taeyong greets with a smile, holding a mountain of folder files.

“Hey, dude,” you grin up at Taeyong as you look between him and the folders on his arms.

“Mr. Lee asked me to tell you to sign these documents?” He dropped everything on your table with a loud thump.

“Oh, sure. What are these about?” you grab one to open and you read the first line with “Project Approval”.

“Oh, you know, Approvals for the upcoming project. Meeting times, team groupings, distributions of topics, you know, the yoosh,” Taeyong chuckles a bit while scratching the back of his head. A sign of nervousness, you notice. Maybe he’s just stressed from all the shit Mr. Lee is making him do.

“Oh yeah, of course!” You gave him a soothing smile, assuring him you’re going to sign all of it. So you grab your dojang stamp to start. You and Taeyong are always picked by the managers to lead the groups with every project so you always sign documents like these monthly.

As you were busying yourself with stamping your name seal on each approval, the loud voice of your boss suddenly reverberated around the office. You look towards them and holy fuc—

“Everyone, I need your attention. I know you just had your lunch, feeling a little dozy and all, but we have visitors!”

Everyone who was lounging around, some sloppily and sleepily sat on their chairs all stood, including Taeyong who previously sat on your desk as he watched you stamp your seal on the documents.

In the middle of a big entourage, there stands an older man who you recognize as your current CEO, President Kim, and… THE MAN IN YOUR DREAM???!!!

“Ooof, Mr. Lee is not here for this ambush visit,” Taeyong whispered while sucking air through his gritted teeth.

“Sir?” your boss beckons with his hand for the CEO to speak. President Kim then taps and squeezes your supervisor’s forearm in acknowledgment.

The affability in the elderly person's face gets highlighted by the manner in which he grinned before speaking to everyone around him.

"I trust all of you had an incredible lunch, the food at the cafeteria is exceptional today," the old Kim trills happily and he got a chorus of similarly energetic reactions from everybody. 

Yet not from you since you are simply stunned that the man alongside him, his son, is unusually, madly, grimly like the person in your dream. Were you dreaming again, or is this a nightmare? You tried digging your fingernails on the skin of your left pointer finger and slowly felt your claws breaking your skin a bit.

His eyes are filtering the little group in front of him and he did a second take before landing his gaze at you. His eyes had a little jolt to them that you never saw since you are so out of it. 

You need to quit gouging your nails, you've got to stop or you'll bleed. And He smiled, oh GOD he smiled at you. And just like that, he’s not looking anymore. Why is he suddenly not looking?

You need to know why he smiled like that and on the off chance that he truly was the man in your dream, is this real and why can’t you stop poking yourself with your nails?

And there it was, the initial sting. You at long last halted because you finally bled. You turn your palms up and there it was four ruby crescents within your pointer finger. Fuck, that's gotta hurt later when you clean it. 

"...Anyway, I am welcoming everybody to come and go along with us tomorrow evening for supper so I can formally introduce my son, your soon-to-be new President, Minseok." 

After a couple of more words and trades of customs, they at long last left. 

You ran for the bathroom once more, putting your finger under the faucet, and immediately water spouted out after the sensor detected movement. 

The water was cold, fortunately so it wasn't that terrible when you washed off the cuts your fingernails left on your skin. 

The remainder of the day was a haze, truly. Except for that hot couple of moments when Taeyong was torturing you on through the company instant messaging app about your little exchange of looks with dear Mr. Kim Minseok. He saw everything, even saw how your hand was shaking as you squeeze yourself yet he never realized you made yourself actually bleed. He was asking you when was the wedding day and the number of kids the both of you  will produce, sending you relentless prodding emojis. 

God, he's nice, yet he can be irritating when he needs to!

You mull over whether to tell Taeyong regarding your weird dreams, yet considering his teasing, nah. Not a freaking possibility!

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FRIDAY | 20190322 — Did I just... Dream of our new CEO before meeting Him IRL?

STREAM XIUMIN's MV 이유 (You)  and 이유 (You) @XIUMIN’s Let It XIUnow 

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (5)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 {reading now}

-

You woke up to an empty bed and cold covers. With a sigh you sat up, wondering where Storm and Z had gone. Grabbing your phone, you shook your head as you read the messages on your home screen.

Babygirl Z <3: Yoooo so we dipped cuz Angus's weird-ass kinda threatened us to gtfo out cuz he wanted to spend time w you but don't tell him I told you that, I don't wanna deal w him

Lil storm!: i think the hood boy in love with you or sum- it's weird.

Angus ☁️: you free today? i got some plans for us so if you ain't you free now

Angus ☁️: i'm playin btw like if you ain't free i can change shit around

You giggled as you heard your nails click against the phone's screen as you sent responses.

-mhm i'll act like i never saw this...have a good day of filming gorgeous <3

-see storm, i highly disagree

-i'm free :) is this a date mr cloud? don’t forget we have filming today

You got up brushing your teeth and washing your face. You waited for Angus's response before picking an outfit for the day, and instead decided on making breakfast for now.

Babygirl Z <3: thanks lovely same to you!!!

Lil storm! laughed at your message

Angus ☁️: shittttt ion know maybe- n yeah ik

-i'm making breakfast, come over if you want

Angus ☁️: food?? i'm already on the way

-my trailer door is unlocked so just come in

A few minutes later you heard the heavy trailer door creak open. You flipped a pancake before turning around and facing the taller man in front of you. "Gooooood morning- you look so tired?"

"Damn, thanks Y/N you look great too!" Angus said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"Boy, I'm kidding." You grinned wrapping your arms around his waist "How'd you sleep?"

"I slept ight, you? Any dream-"

"SHUTUP!"

"I was just checking damn, just checking!"

You let off the hug and walked back over to the stove turning off the burners. "Okay, done! Pancakes and eggs- and fruit! Can't beat that." You made both you and Angus a plate and sat them down on the small table.

You both ate with smiles on your faces, talking the whole time. You learned some more about Angus and his past, and he learned more about you and what you want your future to be like. You couldn't help but laugh when he spotted a carton of store-bought sugar cookies on your counter and insisted he eat at least five. You didn't deny his request, so he polished them off with the rest of his pancakes.

As soon as the breakfast came to a close, both of your phones dinged at the exact same time.

"That's strange," You said picking up the electrical device. You quickly unlocked it as your eyes scanned the screen, and when you finished you immediately looked up at Angus. From the look on his face, you could tell that he clearly had finished reading the message as well.

"So…" he said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Yep."

The text message wasn't too big of a deal, just a simple message from Mary of a suddenly new shooting schedule. You weren't worried until you reached the paragraph that made very clear that instead of shooting you and Angus's sex scenes next week, or possibly two weeks away, they would be shot tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

Shooting the scenes wasn't exactly the problem, it was the caliber of the scenes that you two would be shooting that was the problem. Also the fact- that though there isn't much talking during the sex scenes- you would have to memorize the lines of the new episode. Even though you and Angus were more comfortable with each other, sex scenes were not anything that you two were ready for, you guys hadn't even kissed yet, whether that was a real kiss, or a kiss practicing for the scene.

"I think we need practice."

"I agree."

"So uh..." He turned red as he picked at his nails.

You let out a sigh. "Okay so look. Basically, the scene just consists of me being naked, you being naked as well, but they're going to jimmy rig something so that obviously we aren't actually doing it. Mary told me in my message that I would have some type of pad over my you know what, and you would have some type of cup on."

"But-"

"I'm not done, wait. There are covers over us; so even though I have to give the effect of riding you, I'll just kind of be awkwardly rubbing my padded- you- know- what up against the cup."

"Okay, don't we make out before?"

"Yeah, we do." You stood up and rinsed off the plates. After placing them in the dishwasher, you turned back to your male co-star. "Okay, so it's about 11 AM right now. If we practice our lines, make out some, and I awkwardly ride you clothed in my bed, I think we should be fine..what about your plans?" You asked softly.

"It’s ight, they can wait. But there's another scene- where I smash you from the back. That's the part where I gotta show my cheeks man, damn I don't wanna show my cheeks!"

You laughed a bit "You'll be fine... tomorrow we'll be shooting probably just making out, then the next day the riding scene, and then the day after that more. And I know this seems kind of shitty, but if you read over other peoples paragraphs besides just ours, a lot of their sex scenes were moved up too, and some of the pairings are a bit weird and unexpected."

"Okay let's stop talking about it and just do it."

You nodded and silently walked into your small bedroom, sitting on the messy bed. You hadn't made it because, well you didn't exactly expect to have Angus in your bedroom, let alone to do this.

"So..."

You turned to look at him with a raised brow, "What?"

"So imma kiss you."

Why did that one sentence make your heart. Skip. So. Many. Fucking. Beats.

"Yeah well, that's what the script says right?"

He nodded and licked his lips. "Come get on my lap."

"Why? That's not in the-"

"It'll be more comfortable, especially if we doing this for a minute."

You took in a breath as you went over and straddled his lap, your legs around his waist, and your arms resting comfortably on his shoulders, wrapping around his neck.

You looked into his eyes, and god they were just gorgeous. "Angus.." You said softly.

"Yeah?"

And for .2 seconds you actually debated telling him- telling him that when you kissed him, you didn't want it just to be practice for the show. Telling him that you felt like you lived for the nights that he would facetime you and tell you dumbest shit that would just have you dead tired the next day. Telling him how much he made you laugh, and how it made you so unbearably happy every time you saw his name and knew it was the cause of your phone screen lighting up. Making sure he knew that the past 2 months of your life had gotten so much brighter just because of him.

You didn't though.

But if you had? He would've told you how he felt the exact same way. He would tell you how he loved how your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, how he loved how your nose scrunched up when you laughed. About how you were the only person who would listen to his dumb Mandela effects, even though he knew you didn't believe in all of them. And how it made him blush every time you sent him a mirror selfie on Snapchat for your streak- which he always lost.

But neither of you said anything.

Instead, you made out for a full 32 minutes with absolutely no passion, no lust, no nothing. Too scared to open up to the other due to the fear of rejection.

Until he got hard.

Again.

And that was your little 'ding!' to let you know yet again, 'he wants you.'

So your hips began to move {finally, after 32 minutes of dead nothingness} and you and Angus's lips began to fight for dominance. His hands moved from being awkwardly placed on your sides to under your shirt on your waist. Feeling his hands on your bare skin, you let out a soft moan into his mouth- which you could tell completely caught him off guard.

"Fuck you moaning for?" He teased, still not letting off of the kiss.

"For you."

He bit your lip causing you to moan yet again, your hips still bucking against his hard-on- holy fuck that felt a lot better than it should've. You grinned a bit as you felt his beard brush against your face.

"God. you're so hot."

'Oh my god' you thought, 'It's happening.'

"Baby, I have nothing on you." You replied seductively, sliding your hand down from his shoulder to his crotch.

"Fuck Jess..."

You grinned as he- wait what?

Jess- right, your characters name. Reel it in, you told yourself. This is just acting, nothing more. Just acting. Though you stayed into it, something about him calling you Jess turned you off a bit. After 10 more minutes or so you stopped, getting off of his lap and sitting on the side of him.

“Wel-”

“Yeah, that was good!” You quickly cut him off. “I definitely think our awkwardness has melted away a bit.”

“But don’t you wanna talk-” 

“We have some scenes to film at 1, its 12:30 right now so we should head to wardrobe.”

Angus looked at you with a confused expression on his face, but just nodded slowly and stood up following you out.

All you two had to film was the scene of you coming back, so it was a calm and chill collection of scenes to go through. Everything ran smoothly, and by the time you two were done around 9PM, you were as tired as could be.

“You're such a good fucking actress Y/N.” Angus complimented you as you two walked back to his trailer. He offered you to stay over for the night- just to sleep of course- and you couldn't reject the offer even if you wanted to- which you didn't want to. “Thank you,” you replied softly. “You’re quite talented as well.”

“Nah girl, I'm just being me.”

You two went into his warm trailer talking of filming the scenes, and how tired you both were. You both tried to avoid the topic of the scenes you had to film tomorrow and for the rest of the week; though you were supposedly ready, it was a strangely sore topic.

Soon showers were taken, clothes were changed, and all that was left to do was cuddle.

Angus flipped off the lights and then crawled into the bed with you. You moved closer to him, listening to his rapid heartbeat as you traced hearts on his chest. “Night Redhead.” you said softly, placing a kiss against his cheek.

“Goodnight Mamas.”

And as you lay next to him listening to his light snores, you thought about something. You thought about how though today had been so amazing, and finally, you felt as though the awkwardness had melted away… it was all acting.

Angus didn't like you; that's what you told yourself. Any man would get hard if an attractive woman was sitting on his lap, so that was self-explanatory. Any man would call you baby during a heated moment, any man would talk dirty to you in a heated moment. And a good man like Angus would always make you feel comfortable when you practiced for a scene- that's all he was doing, he wanted you to feel comfortable.

You couldn't be hurt about the situation, the whole point of doing any of that was just practicing for the scenes. And after all, Angus called you Jess, not Y/N.

But at the same time, a little part of you wouldn't stop screaming that you really really really wished he had said your name instead. A little part of you-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the soft glow of your phone lighting up along with a light vibration. A smile appeared on your face as you saw who the message was from.

Babygirl Z <3: GIRL

Babygirl Z <3: BABES ARE YOU UP??!

-yeah you okay? what's wrong?

Babygirl Z <3: shit I'm sorry but i have to tell you this

-what's wrong????? are you okay?

Babygirl Z <3: I'm fine but

-?????

Babygirl Z <3: fuck don't hate me ily okay this is for the best just remember that

-Z get to the point...

Babygirl Z <3: okay so...storm and i just did some digging and

-and?

Babygirl Z <3: and we think Angus got a girl back @ home

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins @patientplum @babygurlbarnes

[wildandsexyjacks]

Your Smile and You - Pt.3

Pairing: Han Seungwoo + Reader

Genre: Fluff + Friends to Lovers AU

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: Slightly suggestive

Notes:  Wooseungdan nation how are we holding up? I had planned on going angsty this time but since we haven’t really been met with good news lately I thought we could all use some soft and cuddly captain, right? Enjoy!

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The clock strikes 3 in the morning. You have your eyes closed as Seungwoo’s feather-like touch traces geometric patterns on your bare skin, drawing imaginary lines to connect the moles on your back. It’s barely there, a dream touch, and you’re almost dozing off when he moves closer and presses his face against your back, replacing his hand with his lips to plant a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. 

“Y/N. Are you sleeping?” he whispers and you shake your head, not bothering to open your eyes “So I was thinking… Do you think it’s weird? Us, like this. Does it feel weird to you?”

“Not really.” You reach for his hand on your hip and pull him closer, demanding cuddles “I mean maybe a little, but it’s nice, isn’t it? I think it’s nice. How do you feel?”

Seungwoo tightens his arms around you, nuzzling your neck “It’s weird but in a good way. Kinda like finding old songs from your favorite band and listening to them for the first time.” He sighs, hot breath fanning on your skin where his lips had just been “It is nice, isn’t it?”

You chuckle.

“Quit beating around the bush, darling. Is there something you wanna say?”

He sighs again, but his tone is different now.

“Am I gonna see you again?”

His sudden question prompts you to wake up for real. You turn around and look into his lovely sleepy eyes.

“Well… Do you want to?”

“Yes,” he answers not even a beat later.

The way he states it, so quick and certain of himself while still wondering if you want the same, get your blood racing.

“Great, because I’d like that too.”

Seungwoo lets out a shy giggle, it’s an adorable sound. He leans in to peck your lips then moves back and pulls you closer to rest your head on his chest, wrapping his arms around you under the covers. You perk your head up to study his features. He seems relaxed, eyes closed and a small smile giving away just how happy he is. Before you even notice what you’re doing, you raise your hand to his face, pushing his hair away from his closed eyes, and his smile grows larger. Amazed by how good he looks, you keep going, now tracing the shape of his nose, lips, down his neck and over the black ink of the tattoo on his shoulder. 

“I remember you nerds would spend the whole weekend down in our living room playing FIFA when we were young but you’re such a cool guy now… handsome, hot, tattooed….” he opens one of his eyes to glance at you and his hands run slowly down your back, lower and lower… until your curious fingers find the writing on his chest “The Roman numerals are basically self-explanatory…. What is this one?”

His hands come to a halt, then he groans and laughs at the same time, covering his face.

“Oh, God, it’s a mistake.” He sighs and lifts his hands to look at you “I’m gonna tell you but you have to promise you won’t laugh.”

As soon as he says the words, you can't help but do exactly what he told you not to. Seungwoo fakes an angry expression and starts poking at your ribs, making your giggles turn into loud laughter as he keeps tickling you and telling you to not laugh at him. You attempt to wriggle your way out of his attack and end up accidentally elbowing him.

“Ouch!”

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” You bend over him and he nods, still rubbing under his chin where you hit him. “I’m sorry.” removing his hand to press a quick kiss to his face, you bite your lower lip “I promise I’ll try not to laugh, is that enough for you?”

Seungwoo rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.” you prop your chin on his chest and stare at him while he threads his fingers through your hair “It was right after graduation. Do you remember Hanse, from high school?”

You smile.

“Oh, how could I forget, you losers were always in my house being loud and annoying.”

He chuckles, nodding his head.

“Yes, that's him, loud and annoying loser number five. He’s a tattoo artist now, has been since senior year. After graduation, we were all in his room, completely shitfaced, and we thought it’d be a good idea to let him practice on us…”

“Oh my God…” you cover your mouth, trying real hard not to laugh “maybe it’s because I’m sober, but that does not seem like a good idea to me.”

“Tell me about it.” He sighs “It could be worse, though. He just got one word wrong. It was supposed to read don’t lock me up.”

Seungwoo proceeds to explain the actual meaning to you, a very important reminder to not trap his feelings inside him and be more communicative about what goes on in his head, to not carry any burdens alone. 

“It’s beautiful.” You reply, brushing your lips against the misspelled word marked on his chest “But perhaps none of you should drink and get tattooed ever again.”

You manage not to laugh too much though and it earns you a sweet peck on the tip of your nose.

“Yeah, you think it’s funny, don’t you? Once you see what Seungsik and Chan got, you’ll love mine.”

“Speaking of which….” you avert his gaze, all too casual, turning around to check the time on your phone “Have you told anyone… the guys or my brother…. especially my brother… about us, you know, hanging out lately?”

You try to be as nonchalant as possible, but he catches the meaning behind your words and frowns: you hope the answer is no. 

He clears his throat.

“Um... Right after we met at the restaurant that first time, maybe one or two days later Seungsik told me you were back and I said I already knew because we ran into each other by chance, but that’s all… Why? Are we keeping this” he motions between you and him “a secret?”

It’s not that you don’t want people to know you’re dating Seungwoo - are you even dating? You kissed for the first time only a few hours ago -, you just want to be in control of how and when this piece of information finds your family and friends. Everything’s been happening so fast since you moved back, you didn’t really have time to give this situation the attention it needs. You don’t even understand your feelings yet and you both need to be careful about your next steps. After all, your families have been close for years and this shift in dynamics is, in fact, unexpected, no matter how good it makes you feel. 

“Not exactly.” You reply, moving back to drape an arm around his waist “I just want to be the one to break the news to Seungsik, at the right moment, if it’s ok with you.” snuggling closer, you pout “Please?”

He covers his eyes, groaning.

“Don’t be all cute on me now, you know I’m weak and it’s not fair.” realizing it’ll work, you pucker your lips even more, blinking several times until Seungwoo finally gives in “Jesus! Okay, fine, have it your way.”

You squeal a little bit, delighted, and give him a hug.

“You’re the best.” 

“And you’re trouble.” he laughs softly, shaking his head “How much time we still got?”

You stick your neck out to check the time again.

“Nearly two hours.” you turn back and smile at him “What do you wanna do?”

Pressing his lips together, Seungwoo stares at the ceiling for a second.

“I don’t know. Aren’t you sleepy?” he asks, after a moment of consideration. You shake your head no, and he lifts one eyebrow, grinning. Before you can even ask what’s on his mind, Seungwoo rolls you onto your back and scoots closer, climbing on top of you. “In this case,” he props himself on his elbows as to not crush you with his weight, his body warm against yours and a mischievous glint in his eyes. With your own firmly closed, you hold your breath when he leans in to press his lips against your neck and then your collarbone, planting open-mouthed kisses down your body and leaving a trail of fire in their wake “I have a great idea.”

-

tattoo artist!hanse is what i’m here for, fellow alices pls feel free to tag me in every single fic you find ;;

[inahazzze]

It’s None Of Your Business

You’re passionately singing along to Harry’s album in your car while stuck in dead-stop traffic on the way home from work. You don’t know, but Harry is watching from the car next to you (1.6k).

***A/N - This is my first time ever posting fic so please give me some feedback!!! I’m in the process of writing a longer fic but I wanted to bite the bullet and post something short. A big thanks to @yes-daddy-i-will for coming up with the perfect last line!!***

On most days, you’re really bothered by heavy traffic. On any day but today, you’d be muttering obscenities under your breath at every stop and start of the cars in front of you. You might even let out a bit of road rage that you sometimes let slip when particularly frustrated. But it’s been a great day, and you don’t even care that it might take you an extra half hour to get home. Today you were praised by your boss, received a bonus that will pay for your upcoming car insurance, and there’s now a long weekend to look forward to. It’ll be the first real break you’ve had in months since starting as a full timer at work, and you’re looking forward to properly resting and seeing a few neglected friends. A year ago you would have thought that four days off in a row is nothing, but now you’re jumping for joy at the mere thought of what you could do with the time. You usually spend your weekends catching up on sleep and relaxing just enough to not feel like a trainwreck by Monday, and now you have two whole extra days to do anything that you want.

You’ve only been driving for ten minutes when the cars in front and around you all come to a complete stop on the highway. You can’t see anything but you assume that there’s been an accident or something of the sort. You can hear some distant honking and yelling but you are determined not to let anything ruin your mood, so you turn up your music to drown out the commotion. You’re listening to your favourite artist, Harry Styles. It’s been quite a while since his album came out but you’re still obsessed and listen to it on repeat. A car somewhere to your left is honking relentlessly, so you switch the song to Kiwi and turn it up even more to drown out the noise. It’s blasting through your speakers and other drivers can probably hear it but you’re in too good of a mood to care.

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes

Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

And all the boys they were saying they were into it

Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck

She’s driving me crazy!

You’re so fully immersed in the song that it’s probably a good thing that the traffic isn’t letting you go anywhere. The lane to your right shifts forward slightly and a black Range Rover pulls up completely parallel to yours, windows aligned with your small vehicle. Its tinted windows don’t allow you to see into the car and you’re momentarily insecure about the fact that people can see you but you can’t see them. You glance at the cars to your left and the two in your line of sight are also expensive cars with tinted windows. This is what I get for working in a rich area of L.A., you think to yourself.

If it was any other day you’d probably be too embarrassed in stock-still traffic to sing your heart out. Usually you wait until you’re flying down the highway to roll your windows down and let your voice ring out in the rough breeze. Since you live in an apartment complex where there’s always someone around, singing in your car is your only chance to really let yourself go. It’s always been an outlet for you and you’re happiest when you’re singing to your favourite music. You don’t have to worry about anyone hearing, or complaining about the noise, or judging your voice. Singing in the car makes you feel free and happy, which is why you decide fuck it and sing as loud as you want while surrounded by other drivers who can clearly see and hear you.  

But I’m into it, but I’m into it

I’m kinda into it

It’s getting crazy

I think I’m losing it, I think I’m losing it

And are you losing it. The lyrics fly out of you as you sing along in a trance and bob your body to the beat as much as you can with the restrictive seatbelt.

I’m having your baby!

It’s none of your business!

You’re almost putting on a show of your own once the chorus hits, gesturing wildly in front of you and drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of the song. You glance into the rear view mirror and notice that you’re smiling widely, enjoying the moment. You’re doing all that you can do while stuck on the highway, and trying not to be annoyed by what is out of your control. If there was an accident, you just hope that everyone is okay. People in the cars around you are becoming more and more impatient, honking more frequently and leaning out their window to see what’s going on. There’s a man a few cars in front of you that has turned off his car and gotten out, walking forwards a bit and peering over cars to see the source of the hold up. There isn’t anything you can really do about the traffic, so you just try to drown it all out. You finish the chorus thrashing about in your seat and take a swig from your water bottle before the next verse.

It’s New York baby always jacked up,

Holland tunnel for a nose that’s always backed up

When she’s alone she goes home to a cactus

In a black dress, she’s such an actress

Driving me crazy!

It’s a little embarrassing that you have this part a little bit choreographed, because you’ve listened to the song so many times and it just sort of happened after a while. You’ve been told that you’re extremely dramatic, but right now you don’t have a care in the world about how ridiculous you probably look.

Before the second chorus, you’re thrown back into reality as the car in front of you moves forward a few yards, and you lift your foot off of the break for a moment before you come to another dead stop. The car to your right is still parallel to you, which is unexpected as there’s enough room for the car to move forward quite a bit more.

You’re at a standstill again, and fall straight back into the song. You’ve never been able to actually scream like Harry does in the song, so you just mouth along and punch the air to the beat of the drums.

She sits beside me like a silhouette

Hard candy drippin’ on me til my feet are wet

And now she’s all over me

It’s like I paid for it, it’s like I paid for it,

I’m gonna pay for this.

Your head is shaking back and forth by this point and your shoulders are bobbing one at a time. It’s an awkward and uncoordinated spontaneous dance that shows just how much fun you’re having letting it all go. You play around and improvise a harmony to sing along with Harry for the last chorus, even though it’s a bit of an odd song to create a harmony for. You’re having such a good time that you’re feeling a bit out of breath even though you’re sitting down.

As the song comes to a close, you notice some movement in your peripheral vision. The car to your right is rolling down the window closest to you, so that you can see into the interior for the first time. You barely even register that the passenger seat is empty, because you can’t see past the driver who is staring straight at you. It’s like your brain does a double take, even though you can’t move a muscle.

It’s the face you’ve only dreamed about seeing so close, and it’s weird seeing him anywhere other than on a screen. The first thing you notice is the hair clip sitting atop his head, holding his messy locks together haphazardly. It’s clear that he hasn’t shaved in a few days and he’s wearing a ratty t-shirt as if he’s just come from the gym. His eyes are covered by a pair of plain black sunglasses, but you don’t question for a moment that it’s Harry. If there was ever any doubt, it would have been immediately quelled when you glance down at his arm tattoos peeking out from under his t-shirt. Your eye is drawn to the rose on his elbow, which is resting against the window frame in a relaxed manner. Your whole body starts to feel like it’s on fire at the knowledge that it’s actually him. The boy you’ve been in love with for years from afar. The boy who wrote music that you cried to, sang to, and danced to. The boy who you assumed would never look you in the eyes like he’s doing now.

You don’t know how much time you’re staring at each other, whether it’s a few seconds or a few minutes, but eventually he begins to smirk. It’s such an intimate moment that you’re afraid to even blink. A voice in the back of your head tells you that Ever Since New York is now blaring through your speakers, but your focus on Harry has dulled everything else around you in a haze. You think he might say something so your hand reaches for the dial to turn down the music, seemingly of its own accord. You don’t break eye contact with him once.

“If you’re having my baby, love, don’t y’think it’s my business?”

[mercurysnitch]

You Make My Dreams Come True (One Magnificent Year)

Summary: The year Joe and Reader got married turned out to be a very big one for their family.

A/N: It’s finally here! The “bonus chapter” is finally done, and it only took three and a half months 😆 (life got in the way for a while there, it wasn’t supposed to take quite this long). I am so so pleased to finally be sharing it with you (I hope it lives up to all the anticipation). Now that you can see how long this is you’ll understand why I thought including these events would have dragged out the main story too much 🤣. For reference, this starts soon after the climax of part 6 (Reader and Joe getting engaged) and goes on from there.

Some disclaimers: I should have mentioned in Part 6 that I’ve never been to the USA so all parts in New York are based on what I’ve picked up from watching many many movies and TV shows set there. Sorry if anything’s horribly inaccurate, I tried to be at least somewhat realistic. This story features an overseas wedding being planned in only three months, which seemed feasible to me, but I’ve never planned a wedding so I might have been a bit optimistic there. I’ve never been pregnant or had children so all of that stuff is based on research. I think it’s mostly realistic, but some of it might not be completely accurate for twins/preemies, so sorry in advance. Also I think I might have outed myself as an old school music fan with some of the songs mentioned in here.

Because this is the story of a single year, it’s broken into months with little timeskips between sections. The months are all different lengths, so hopefully it’s not too choppy. I feel like it rambles a bit towards the end, but I think overall it works.

As always, please forgive any typos I may have missed.

Italics indicate reader’s inner thoughts.

Warnings: pregnancy, vomiting, children, babies, non-graphic birth, premature birth, some angst, allusions to sex, mild illness

Word count: 20.6k (grab a cup of tea and settle in, it’s a long one)

*******************************************************************************************

New Year's Eve in New York City. Just like last year, and yet at the same time, so very different. This year, Joe’s traditional New Year’s Eve party was going to be a celebration of so much more. Lucy and Rami insisted on coming to celebrate your engagement as much as the new year. Joe had of course sent an announcement to the ‘band’ group chat almost the moment you got home, and you’d spent the next three days in a whirlwind of calls, texts and video chats. Joe wanted to post something on Instagram almost immediately, but you persuaded him to hold off until you could tell his extended family in person at Christmas. He was annoyed until he saw their reactions to your announcement. Needless to say, it went down very well.

And then he finally made his Instagram post on Boxing Day, which lifted his mood enormously. He chose a sweet selfie he’d taken of the two of you hugging Tallulah, whose face was hidden, with the hand bearing your ring held close to the camera. He captioned it ‘Well we had a great Christmas celebrating this… Two weeks ago she said yes. Still can’t believe I get these two for the rest of my life now.’ The reaction was practically immediate and overwhelmingly positive. Even Brian left a comment: ‘Congratulations to a lovely couple! Wishing you endless happiness. Bri.’ You couldn’t help smiling at all the positivity. “They’re all so happy for us, Joe” you commented. He was confused. “Well, yeah, it’s happy news, right?” “It is,” you agreed, “but I thought people might be put off by the whole stepkid thing.” “Most people actually think it’s really sweet” Joe assured you.

All in all, you were a very happy family when New Year’s Eve rolled around. Joe’s various friends were keen to celebrate with you, Tallulah was eagerly counting down the last few days before Roger’s arrival, and you felt a general sense that all was right with the world. Ben’s unexpected arrival at the party was a nice treat too. Even Tallulah was pleased to see one of her favourite people in the world. Sitting with Joe after your midnight kiss, you felt incredibly content. “This year’s going to be a good one, isn’t it?” You mused. “Definitely” Joe agreed, kissing you gently. “It’s going to be great.”

January

You weren’t expecting to get into wedding planning after being engaged for less than three weeks, but Joe was keen to set a date as soon as possible. “I’m an actor, I need to know when I’m not going to be available” he explained one night, when you questioned his urgency to make plans. There was just one decision you needed to make before making any firm plans: would you have the wedding in New York or back home in the UK? You fretted for nearly a week after Joe first raised the question, not wanting to inconvenience any of your potential guests. "Babe, wherever we have the wedding someone's going to have to travel to get to it" Joe reminded you, after you told him about your severe indecision on the matter. "We might as well just pick the location we want, and leave it to the guests to decide if it’s too far for them." You considered this for a moment. "I suppose you're right" you agreed finally. "I usually am" Joe quipped. "Seriously though, where do you actually want to do it?" "I think… I'd rather get married in Britain" you replied, hesitantly. Joe smiled. "Britain it is then."

He paused. "Actually I was kinda hoping you'd say that, I'd love for Roger and Brian to be there." "Why?" you asked, surprised. "Well, we wouldn't be here without them. Especially Roger" Joe explained. "Don't you think it'd be a little strange for Roger to be there?" you questioned. "He is sort of my ex, you know." "He's also the one who introduced us" Joe pointed out. "Still a bit weird, but I suppose you're right" you conceded. Why is my life so bloody weird? It'd be nice for Roger to be there, spend some time with Loolah, see my family… oh God. You must have groaned out loud, because Joe suddenly looked concerned. "You ok babe?" he asked. "Yeah, I just realised that if Roger comes to our wedding he'll have to meet my parents" you explained. "Is… is that a problem?" Joe was confused. "Well, considering my father is under the impression he got me pregnant and then basically abandoned me to raise the child alone for five years, let's just say Roger's not exactly my dad's favourite person" you clarified. "I'm sure they'll be fine" Joe reassured you, "Roger's, like, ridiculously charming and friendly when he wants to be." "I know" you replied gently. "So, you still want to get married in England?" Joe asked jokingly. You smiled. "Yes." "Well then," he replied, smiling contentedly, "looks like we've got a location, so let's set a date."

Setting a date, however, proved to be easier said than done. You quickly realised that getting married in England would be an excellent excuse for a holiday, so you decided to make it a two-week trip, with the wedding in the middle followed by a week's honeymoon, during which Tallulah could spend some time with her dad. This meant you needed to find a convenient time of year for you and Joe to have a holiday, that would also be ok for Roger. And then you'd need a venue that was available at the right time.

Finding a venue in England, while more or less stuck in New York was something of a challenge. Google was of course immensely helpful, but it soon became clear you would need someone on the ground there too. You were wondering who to ask when you realised most of your bridal party still lived in the UK. Destiny was your maid of honour, and she was more than happy to help. "Anything you need, lovie, just give me a call" she assured you. You soon found yourself asking her to look at a venue for you, an old stately home in a country village barely an hour outside London.

The house looked beautiful on the website, and best of all, you, Joe, Tallulah and some of your guests would be able to stay there ahead of the ceremony. Destiny went to look at it as soon as she could find the time, and her report was very positive. “It’s gorgeous” she gushed to you down the phone. “You’d love it. The grounds are lovely too, I think Loolah’d have fun exploring them.” When Joe saw the photos Destiny sent you he agreed it looked practically perfect for your wedding. All that was left was to find a date the venue would be available.

You had a stroke of luck on the date front a few days after you and Joe put yourselves on the waiting list for a booking. A sudden cancellation had left the stately home with a week free in April, just after Easter. The timing couldn’t be better. “Work’ll be quiet, it’ll be a good time for me to have off” you explained to Joe. “And it’d overlap with Loolah’s school holidays too.” Joe was thoughtful for a moment. “I think I’m pretty free in April, actually” he said eventually. “So you wanna take the booking?” “Yeah, let’s do it” he enthused. A couple of days and several emails later the venue. “We’re getting married in April” you marvelled to Joe, after receiving the final confirmation. “Yeah” he replied contentedly. “Three months to plan a whole wedding. Are we nuts?” You really hoped not.

February

February brought cold season to your little family. First Tallulah came home with a sore throat and a fever which kept her away from school for three days, during which time Joe was luckily free to stay home with her. Then you caught her cold, though you managed to escape the worst of it, developing nothing worse than a sniffle. Finally, a week later you woke to find Joe pale and feverish beside you. He didn't wake until you were getting dressed for work. "Darling, are you alright?" you asked him, concerned. "No," he groaned. "My head hurts, my throat is killing me and I've got chills, I think." "Sounds like you've caught our cold then" you commented. "Can you stay home with me babe? Please?" Joe begged. You smiled sadly. "You know I can't, dear. Besides, you have a cold, you're not dying. You’re a grownup, you can survive eight hours on your own." "But baaabe!" he protested. "You sound like Loolah, you know” you grumbled, smiling fondly at Joe despite your exasperation. "But I'll come home as early as I can." "Thanks babe" he mumbled, peering blearily up at you from his spot under the covers. You returned to your morning routine, and Joe was asleep again within minutes.

Joe stayed home for a week. He never got any worse than Tallulah had, but sometimes it seemed that way because he was such a drama queen when he was sick. After two nights of listening to him sniff and cough miserably next to you, you banished yourself to the couch in the hope of finally getting some sleep. It barely worked, and you made sure to tell Joe the next day. "That couch is terrible! If only we had an extra bedroom…" "What, don't you like my apartment?" he grumped. "No, I do, Joe," you reassured him, "it's just… it feels so small sometimes. Like we're all on top of each other all the time, you know?" Joe looked thoughtful. "I actually saw a really nice house for sale the other day. Not too big, little bit of yard at the back… don't know if we can afford it though" he told you. "Well, it can't hurt to take a look" you grinned. Joe smiled back. "Let's go then."

The house turned out to be a nice little townhouse, with four bedrooms, but surprisingly right in your price range. Best of all, it was still on the market, but not for long. One very tense week later it was yours. There was just one small catch. "So, we close on the house in a month" Joe told you, following a phonecall from the real estate agent. "Which means we can't move in until April." "We're getting married in April though, we're going to be super busy and then away for a fortnight" you pointed out. "Yeah, the timing's not the best, is it?" Joe laughed. "I suppose we could move the week before we go…" you suggested. "Yeah, we- oh no, wait, we can't, I'm going to Vegas for my bachelor party that week" Joe told you. "And that means we can't move because…?" you asked. "I'm not leaving you to deal with moving by yourself" Joe replied stoutly. You looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "As much as I want to go all 'independent woman' on you, I actually think you're right. I'll have enough to do that week as it is." "So we'll move after the wedding?" Joe suggested. "Yeah. As soon as we can." Gee, we’re doing a lot this year.

March

Most of your free time in March was taken up with planning of one sort or another. When you weren’t sorting out last minute wedding details, you were busy attempting to organise the move into your new house. On top of finding a removal company you were planning to have some of your stored furniture shipped from England to fill the extra space. But you weren’t convinced it would be enough. “Why did we buy a four-bedroom house?” you questioned Joe, after yet another attempt to work out what you would still need once your things arrived. “We only needed two, and now we’ve got so many rooms and not enough furniture…” “Well I thought we might want to fill those extra bedrooms soon…” Joe said suggestively. “What do you mean, Joe?” you asked, confused. “I mean,” Joe sighed, exasperated at your obliviousness, “I hoped we could try to grow our family?” You thought you knew what he was getting at now, but you wanted to check. “D’you mean… try to have a baby?” “Yes” Joe replied, smiling. His face fell slightly at the sight of your expression. “Do you not want to? Cause we don’t have to, I just thought…hoped-” “Of course I want to have a baby with you Joe,” you reassured him, “just… can we maybe wait til after the wedding? We’ve got enough going on right now as it is.” Joe nodded in agreement. “You know, the honeymoon is after the wedding…” he pointed out suggestively. “It is.” “So, extra fun honeymoon then?” Joe suggested. “Sounds like a plan” you agreed. At that Joe kissed you much more lustily than you were expecting. Should be a very enjoyable honeymoon if he’s going to be like that.  

As the weeks rolled by your focus increasingly shifted to the various parts of the wedding you and Joe still needed to plan. Of course, one of the most important components, at least to you and Joe, turned out to be the first dance. The first challenge was agreeing on the music. You both thought a Queen song seemed appropriate, but which one? "Love Of My Life?" Joe suggested. You looked at him incredulously. "What, it's a classic!" he insisted. "You do realise it's not actually a love song, right?" you asked. He was confused. "What?" "'Love of my life, don't leave me'?" you quoted. "It's a break-up song, Joe. I'm not doing the first dance to a break-up song!" Joe threw his hands up in surrender. "Ok, fine. Do you have any ideas?" You thought about it for a moment. "Um… Queen love songs. They didn't actually write all that many, did they?" Joe looked thoughtful. "Not straightforward happy ones, no" he agreed.

Suddenly his face was alight with inspiration. "We could do it to '39!" he suggested. "I know we both like that song." You were hesitant. "Um, I do like that song, but…" "But what?" He asked indignantly. "That song… it's kind of about me and Roger. Partly at least." you told him. "I just think it would be weird to have that for our first dance." Joe was very confused. "I thought Brian wrote '39?" "He did" you confirmed. "Roger told him about… us… once when they were both drunk, and Brian thinks that might have inspired the chorus. And the whole 'year of 39' bit." Your fiance looked at you blankly. "Roger and I were living 39 years apart at that point" you explained. "Oh." Joe sighed. "I guess that song would be kind of weird then" he conceded. “Actually, maybe a Queen song for the first dance was a bad idea” he pondered.  “Yeah” you agreed. “Maybe we should just stick with one of the classics.” “The classics?” Joe questioned. “Yeah, you know, Frank Sinatra or At Last or something.” “Or ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’?” Joe suggested. “Slow dance and fast bits, we could have some fun with it.” “That’s perfect!” You agreed. So much for Queen for the first dance.

April

The arrival of April Fool’s Day signalled your wedding day was almost upon you. Everything important was booked or ordered, which meant you were now faced with sorting out all the little things you’d put off organising initially, knowing they could be dealt with at the last minute. Number one on the list was sorting out who would be looking after Tallulah when she wasn’t fulfilling her flower girl duties. “Isn’t Roger looking after her after the ceremony’s over?” Joe asked, when you tried to explain your dilemma. “He’s going to be at the reception, Joe” you pointed out. “Along with basically my whole family. And I can’t ask Destiny because she’s maid of honour, and Carla’s her date, so she’ll be there too.” Suddenly Joe understood. “Well I guess she could just come to the reception. Roger could keep an eye on her there. And your parents.” “I suppose…” you sighed. “Actually, Lucy and the other bridesmaids could probably look after her during the day, until Roger can take over at the reception. But then we’re going away at the end, and what if she wants to leave early?” “So what if she does? Roger can take her to his room, right?” Joe reassured you. “You’re right,” you agreed, “he’s her dad, he can deal with it.”

Your other major concern was the potential for the combination of your very ordinary family and several famous people to end very badly. “They were fine meeting me, they’ll be fine at the wedding too” Joe tried to reassure you. “You’re just one person though,” you pointed out, “they’re going to have several people to embarrass themselves in front of this time.” Joe was still unconcerned. “I’m sure they won’t be that bad, babe” “You don’t know my Auntie Marie… ah shit” you trailed off, hit with a sudden realisation. “What about her?” “She’s a mad Eastenders fan, has been for years. Got my cousins into it too, and Steph… Peter Beale was always her favourite” you explained. “I think she might still have a bit of a celebrity crush on Ben.” Joe nearly laughed. “You know he won’t be that bothered” he reassured you. “Even if she spends the whole day practically hanging off him?” “Not if she’s cute” Joe quipped. He rapidly backpedalled at the sight of your expression. “She won’t be able to stick to him all day, he’ll be busy being best man for some of it.” “Thank god for that” you quipped. In the end Joe managed to reassure you Ben was perfectly capable of handling himself around overexcited fans. Even so, you still resolved to ask your mum to remind a few of your relatives to behave themselves before the wedding.

You felt as though you’d hardly blinked before Tallulah’s Easter holidays had arrived, and the three of you were on a plane to London. The plan was to spend a few days there catching up with friends and sorting out the final last-minute details before heading to the wedding venue on Thursday. You had a big dinner party for all your wedding guests planned for Friday night, ahead of the main event on Saturday. On Sunday you were off to Italy with Joe to unwind for a few days before you had to go home. Tallulah was going to spend that time with Roger, and she was very excited.

You tried to get some sleep on the plane, but it was difficult to relax with so many last-minute worries buzzing through your mind. You kept dozing off only to wake up in a panic about something. “The bridesmaids! What if their dresses look bad with mine?” “Babe, it’ll be fine. Lucy picked them, and she’s an expert” Joe soothed drowsily. Lucy had become one of your closest friends since you’d started seeing Joe. She’d adopted you more or less instantly, along with the rest of the Bo Rhap crew, and been your guide in the strange new world in which you’d found yourself as an actor’s girlfriend. But she was also an extremely supportive friend while you wrestled with the realities of a long-distance relationship. She empathised deeply with your struggles, being in a very similar situation with Rami, and had all sorts of advice on how to deal with them. She continued to sympathise as you adjusted to life in a new city, having had similar experiences when moving around for different projects. 

Including Lucy in your bridal party was therefore a no-brainer in your view. Her experience with fashion had proved very useful when you’d enlisted her to help you select bridesmaids’ dresses. The only small issue was that you had never seen the dresses in person, as your entire bridal party lived in the UK. As well as Lucy, and of course Destiny, there was your sister Eliza and Annabelle, an old uni friend who was one of the few people who’d actually stuck around after Tallulah was born. Quite a lot of your friends had made all the right noises while you were pregnant, only to disappear when confronted with the reality of your new situation. In any case, you were now very much looking forward to seeing all your bridesmaids again.

Despite your restlessness the flight passed quickly enough, and before you knew it you were settling into your temporary holiday flat in central London. Your parents insisted on coming to meet you as soon as possible, having not seen you in months, so most of the afternoon was spent lounging around the flat and catching up with them. Your sister had been keeping your mum in the loop about the wedding preparations, so she was full of useful last-minute advice and reassurance. “I’ve seen your sister’s dress, I’m sure all the bridesmaids will look wonderful” she told you, after you’d voiced to her your concerns about the dresses you hadn’t seen in person. “They’ll work beautifully with your dress too, I’m sure.” You weren’t entirely soothed, but you didn’t have the energy to argue by then.

Your worries were proved unfounded at the final fitting the next day. Lucy’s taste was clearly excellent, and everyone looked absolutely beautiful in their light aquamarine gowns. You spent a very enjoyable day getting fitted and hanging out with your bridesmaids, who got on well despite barely knowing each other. Well, they do all get on with me, they must have something in common. Tallulah had fun too, sitting in the fancy bridal shop with some of her favourite adults, and then getting to wear a very pretty dress. “You look so pretty, lovie!” Lucy gushed, when she finally got to see Tallulah in her flowergirl outfit. “Of course she looks pretty Luce,” you smiled, “you chose the dress.” All in all it was a productive day, and you felt much calmer about your imminent wedding at the end of it. 

The days passed in a whirlwind of lunches, coffee dates, and frantic final preparations. You even squeezed in a surprise hen night with your bridal party. But then, quick as a flash, Thursday had arrived and you found yourself on the road to the stately home where the wedding was being held. Joe had insisted on driving, but he wasn’t coping very well with having to drive on the opposite side of the road. “God, this feels so wrong even though I know it’s not.” “Just concentrate” you urged him. “And I’m driving next time, it’ll be a lot less stressful.” Fortunately you made it to the wedding venue without incident, despite a couple of near-misses.

Thursday night was spent having dinner with the entire bridal party, who had never been together before. They would all be staying in the actual stately home with you and Joe for the duration. Joe had picked Ben as his best man, after much agonising. Rami and Gwilym were of course groomsmen too, alongside Joe’s brother. To your immense relief everyone got on well without much effort, and the evening passed surprisingly quickly. You went to bed with the feeling that the countdown was now on, and you were very excited. 

Most of Friday was spent preparing the venue for the events of the next day, setting up a location in the grpunds for the ceremony and arranging flowers and decorations. The evening, though, was set aside for a relaxed pre-wedding party, to give the guests an opportunity to meet each other and see you and Joe before you were swept up in the wedding tomorrow. The guests themselves arrived in dribs and drabs as the day went on. The bridal party were already there, of course, and their various partners had all arrived by lunchtime. Your parents appeared in the early afternoon, and Joe’s mum followed soon after. The day was full of enjoyable reunions, and the night promised even more. 

The party started in the early evening with light finger food and cocktails. There was no formal sit-down meal, because people were coming from all over and would be arriving at various times throughout the night. You and Joe tried to remain in a central position so you could easily greet people as they arrived. Later in the night there were a couple of quick speeches from Joe and Ben, welcoming everyone to your wedding. After the speeches you and Joe took the opportunity to mingle with some of the late arrivals. Among them was Brian, who swept over to introduce you to Anita, who was just as warm and lovely as he was. "I told her the truth about you. And Tallulah. Hope you don't mind" he told you in an undertone. You smiled reassuringly. "Of course not.” Not long after he trotted off to catch up with the rest of the Bo Rhap contingent, currently hanging out in a quiet corner, your parents came up to you, bringing Tallulah with them. "She was asking for you" your mother explained. At almost the same moment Roger came over with Sarina to say hello. Oh lord, here we go.

"Hello, love! Good to see you back on home soil" Roger greeted you, cheerful as ever. "Hi Roger. Sarina, lovely to see you again." Your mother leaned over while Joe greeted them both. "Wait, how do you know him?" she asked. Before you could reply Roger was looking at you curiously. "Roger, these are my parents" you explained, in response to his unspoken question. "Roger Taylor. How do you do?" He smiled cheerfully as he reached over to shake their hands. Something about his expression seemed to catch your mother’s interest, and you could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. "Hold on, are you-?" "Daddy!" Tallulah cried, rushing over to embrace him. "Hello darling" Roger murmured, bobbing down to hug her back. "'Daddy?'" your father repeated incredulously. "Yes," you confirmed, "this is Tallulah's dad. And his wife Sarina" "Wife?" your father echoed. "Yes" Roger replied, straightening up. "You never said he was married" your father muttered darkly. You tensed up at your father’s tone. “He never told me.” "He was- you were married then?" your father spluttered at Roger, clearly angry. He didn't even need to explain what 'then' meant. "Dear, please, don't make a scene" your mother urged quietly. Roger, surprisingly, was unfazed. I suppose it's easy to ignore accusations when you know they're not actually true. "Yes, I was. And yes, I did some things I'm not proud of back then, but becoming Tallulah's father sure as hell isn't one of them" he declared stoutly. Your father seemed to accept this, but was still unwilling to back down. "Still can't believe you had the nerve to show your face here" he said unpleasantly. Joe had been hanging back, unwilling to get involved, but at this he felt he had to intervene. "If you must know," he explained tensely, "I insisted we invite Roger. Your daughter and I wouldn't be here without him, and besides, he's a friend." Your parents gawped at him but said nothing. "I know it's an unusual situation" Joe pressed on, "but we've all managed to get along despite the circumstances, so the least you can do is respect that. And respect Roger too, he's a good man." Your father was evidently flabbergasted at Joe's outburst, to the point that he was apparently unable to form a response. Your mother seized the opportunity to steer him away from you towards some nearby relatives, having apparently decided the conversation had gone far enough. 

"Was that too much?" Joe whispered when they were safely out of earshot. "No," you reassured him, "he just needs some time to cool off. He'll be okay." You were suddenly acutely aware of Roger looking at you with concern, while chatting with Tallulah. "You alright?" you asked casually. He grinned. "Yeah. 'S not the first time I've had to deal with an angry dad. Been a few years though…" There was a thoughtful pause. "What exactly is his problem, by the way?" Roger asked lightly. "He thought I ruined my life when I got pregnant by someone who didn't stick around" you explained. Roger looked downcast. "Oh. I see" he muttered. "You know, it kills me a bit that you had to raise her alone for so long" he said suddenly, quietly enough that no-one would overhear. "I wasn't alone, Rog" you reassured him. He still looked downcast. “I know, but still…” “It wasn’t your fault you weren’t there, I don’t blame you for it, so stop beating yourself up about it” you told him. “I made my choice expecting I’d never see you again, I knew what I was signing up for.” Roger stared at you curiously. “Well, I thought I did, anyway” you clarified. Roger grinned at that, but it disappeared quickly. “D’you ever wish-” he started to ask, but you cut him off. “Things had been different? Of course. I’m pretty happy with how they’ve turned out, though. Thanks to you.” Roger was confused. “Thanks to me?” “Technically, you introduced me to Joe” you pointed out. He grinned broadly at that.

Suddenly you realised Joe had disappeared. Before you could do anything, though, Ben appeared at your shoulder. "Y/N" he said quietly, making you jump. “Ben! What’s up?” The blond looked uncharacteristically serious. “It’s Joe,” he told you, “he’s… he needs you, I think.” “Well where is he?” You asked, suddenly concerned. “Come with me” Ben murmured, leading you away from the party. He took you down a corridor to a quiet storeroom, away from the noise and movement. “What’s he doing in here?” You asked, whispering urgently. “He’s… upset, I guess” Ben replied. “But he’ll be able to explain it better. Just go in, please.” A worrying thought struck you. “We’re the guests of honour, won’t people notice we’ve both gone?” Ben shrugged. “Even if they do they’ll just think you’re shagging or something.” “Ben!” you chided him, scandalised. “Relax, I’ll cover for you if anyone does notice” he reassured you. “Thanks” you muttered, turning away to face the storeroom properly.

You cautiously pushed the door open. “Joe? Are you alright?” Your soon-to-be husband looked up, startled. His eyes were red-rimmed and full of tears. “How did you-?” “Ben told me” you explained, cutting off his question. “But darling, what’s wrong?” You asked him tenderly, sitting down next to him. “After I saw you with your dad, before, it just… it suddenly hit me, really hard.” “What hit you?” You prompted, wrapping your arms around him. “My dad’s not here. I’m getting married and he won’t be there. He should be here, meeting your parents, defending you to your own father like I did, but he’s not” Joe explained sadly. “And I feel like I should be super happy right now, and I am, but I’m really sad too.” “Oh, darling, you’re allowed to feel however you want” you comforted him. You held him quietly for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me you were upset?” You asked quietly. “It came on really suddenly, like out of nowhere… and you looked so happy back there, I didn’t want to bring you down” Joe admitted. “Joe, darling, I don’t mind. We’re nearly married, that means it’s my job to help you when you feel like this” you reassured him. “Thanks wifey” he said, looking slightly happier. You kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Any time, babe.” You paused, sitting in silence for a while. “Are you ok now, or do you still need a minute?” You eventually asked, sensing your husband-to-be was starting to feel better. Joe looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’ll need a little bit longer, I think.” You sat together in silence for a moment. Suddenly Joe turned his head and kissed you. “I love you so much” he murmured as you broke apart. “Love you too” you replied automatically. “You can go now, if you want” Joe announced. “I’ll be out soon.” But as you reached the door he stopped you. “Actually, can you get Ben to come in here?” He asked calmly. “Ben?” You questioned, surprised. “Just…please?” Joe’s expression spoke such volumes you suddenly didn’t need to know any more. “Of course, dear.” You paused just before you left the room. “I’m sending Ben into a private space with you, should I be worried?” you quipped. Joe laughed at that, and you finally relaxed, knowing for sure he would be ok now. 

The rest of the party rolled on without incident, and you went to bed that night with an odd mixture of contentment and nerves bubbling in your head. The next morning you woke relaxed and refreshed, and most unusually, alone. Joe was rather fond of certain wedding traditions, and had insisted on sharing Ben’s room for the night. You thought it was probably for the best, you’d have to get ready separately anyway. Lucy had suggested Tallulah have a sleepover with her and Rami as well, so you could have a break and she could look after your daughter in the morning while you had a bit of a lie in. 

As you got out of bed and started on your morning routine you were hit with a sudden wave of pre-wedding jitters. What if it rained? What if something went wrong? Were you doing this too soon? You’d only been living together for nine months, after all. Your stressful thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door. “Y/N? You up?” It was Destiny, fulfilling her first job of the day. “Yeah, come in” you called. She took one look at you and rushed over, enveloping you in her arms. “What’s up love?” “I just… I don’t know” you gulped. “I’m having all these doubts all of a sudden. What if this is too soon?” Destiny smiled reassuringly. “You’ve been together for years, this is hardly a whirlwind romance.” “I know, but-” She turned to look you straight in the face. “You love him, don’t you?” You were bewildered at the question. “Of course I do, but-” “And Joe loves you, right?” Destiny pressed on. “Well, yeah, I think s-” You were interrupted by Lucy entering your room, Tallulah in tow. She immediately sent Tallulah off to the bathroom so she could talk to you alone. “What’s going on?” Lucy asked. “Pre-wedding jitters” Destiny explained. “Anyway, you love Joe and he loves you, doesn’t he?” You were oddly uncertain. “I think s-” “He does” Lucy chimed in. “He adores you, Y/N, everyone can see it.” “You see?” Destiny went on. “You love each other, you want to be with each other, and at the end of the day that’s what really matters here.” You sighed. “I know Dess, I just… this’s all happened so quickly, how do I know we’re not moving too fast?” Lucy stepped forward, and Destiny wordlessly let you go so the younger woman could take over. Lucy put her hands on your shoulders and looked into your eyes. “Y/N,” she began firmly, “Joe loves you, he really does. Everyone can see how you make each other happy.” “I know that, but-” “So what if you’ve moved quickly?” She cut you off. “When you know, you know. Joe knows, even if you don’t.” You were confused. “How do you know that?” “Rami” Lucy said simply. “He’s never seen Joe look at anyone the way he looks at you, and you know as well as I do how long they’ve known each other.” You were taken aback. How could you have doubted what you and Joe had? “I suppose when I think about it this does feel right, even if it is a bit quick” you declared. Lucy smiled. “Of course it is lovie. Now come on, let’s get you married.”

In the end, the ceremony went off without a hitch. You looked beautiful, Joe only got slightly teary when he saw you at the end of the aisle, and all the guests agreed it was lovely. Even the previous night’s tension with your father was forgotten as soon as he saw you in your full regalia for the first time. The expression on Joe’s face when he first caught sight of you was so adoring, and so happy, all your doubts vanished instantly when you saw it. By the end of the ceremony you were fairly sure you were both wearing identical joyful smiles. You really were glad to be marrying him. 

The reception went well too. The first dance, which you and Joe had positively slaved over, was performed flawlessly, and earned rapturous applause from your guests. The speeches were all excellent as well. Ben's was probably the most polished, but then, he was an actor. You wanted to thank him during the dancing afterwards, but he seemed to have vanished. Joe was strangely unconcerned by this. "He's probably just gone for a smoke, wifey.” He seemed to have been gone a long time, but before you could consider this further you were distracted by Rami and Lucy coming to congratulate you, accompanied by Tallulah. Somehow, in the midst of all the hugs Joe disappeared off somewhere. You couldn't work out where until Lucy led you to a chair near the front table, closest to the little stage area where the sound system was, and urged you to sit there with Tallulah. You were surprised to see there were microphones and amps and even a drum set up, even though you hadn't booked a band.

Your confusion lasted only until Joe and Ben stepped up to two of the mikes. "What are they doing?" you muttered to Lucy. "Just watch" she told you, grinning. Suddenly you noticed a familiar lanky figure wandering over to the third mike. Joe, in the middle, cleared his throat. "Uh, hi everyone, if I could have your attention for a minute? Relax, I'm not doing another speech. So you might know we three have a bit of a side interest in music, even though we don’t get to play together very much. So I just wanted to take the opportunity tonight to do something special for the two very special ladies in my life. To the extremely talented musicians in the audience, please bear with us. Everyone else, enjoy." With that, he picked up a bass, Ben picked up a tambourine, and Gwilym, down the other end, sat on a bar stool at his mike, acoustic guitar in hand. Ben counted them in, and suddenly Gwilym started picking out the very familiar chords of '39, with Joe on bass and Ben on bass drum and tambourine. Then Joe began to sing directly to you and Tallulah, and you thought you might cry, though Tallulah immediately started to sing along. Gwilym and Ben harmonised nicely on backing vocals too. When the end of the song brought rapturous applause, your new husband and his friend beamed, while Gwilym just smiled modestly. When things died down, Joe spoke up again. "Ladies and gentlemen, Gwilym Lee!" he introduced. "And on drums, Ben Hardy!" After a brief round of applause he grinned cheekily. "You liked that?" he asked the crowd. "Lucky for you, we have one more. It's a bit of an oldie, but a goodie" he explained. Another count in from Ben led to the intro to "Hello Mary Lou." Joe looked distinctly nervous as he started to sing again, but you beamed at him as he sang straight to you. The song finished, your guests applauded, and with a wink and a "That's all folks!" the musicians left the stage, taking their instruments with them.

Moments later the three of them appeared in front of you. You promptly threw your arms around them all. "That was amazing! You're so talented, all of you." Ben blushed. "Oh, well, I'm no Roger…" he faltered. "We had excellent teachers” Gwilym added, looking slightly uncomfortable at the praise. "You what?" you asked, surprised. "Brian and Roger taught us Hello Mary Lou" Joe explained. “We already knew ’39 from the movie, just had to refresh our memories a bit.” "Well you all did wonderfully" you mused. "Anyway, 'Hello Mary Lou'?" "I know how much you like it, and it seemed… appropriate for us" Joe shrugged. "I suppose. You really love ’39 though, don't you?" you commented. "Well it always reminds me of us a bit, you know, lovers separated, longing to be together again, it's kind of the story of our relationship, y'know?" Joe explained. "It kind of is" you agreed.

Suddenly Brian and Roger descended on the trio of groomsmen to congratulate them on the performance. You took advantage of their celebration’s rapid turn into an in-depth conversation about drumming between Ben and Roger and embraced Brian. "Thank you for teaching them" you murmured. "That was wonderful." He smiled. "You're very welcome" he said warmly. "You know, it was a bit strange watching them all up there. Joe looks so much like Deaky when he plays, it’s almost alarming." “You should tell Joe that” you commented. “Oh, he knows” Brian replied airily. You were glad, but you thought Joe was extremely talented in his own right too. 

The laughter and dancing seemed to go on forever, but soon enough, the festivities were over and you and Joe were retreating to the bridal bedroom. Even though it was your wedding night both of you were too tired to do much more than undress each other and cuddle. “I love you, wifey” Joe murmured, as you dozed off wrapped in each other’s arms. “I love you, hubs” you murmured back. You weren’t sure you’d ever been happier in your life.

You spent the following week in something of a post-wedding haze. You spent several happy days honeymooning in Rome, enjoying spring sunshine and Italian food. You revelled in the feeling of being married, and in being responsible only for yourselves for a change. It was an odd sensation after so many years of single parenthood. But all too soon the honeymoon was over, and you had to go home to New York. Back to work, school and responsibilities. But also to your new future, which was looking brighter than ever.

May

You returned home still floating in a blissful honeymoon fog. Joe could only stay home for a week before he would be needed in LA again, but you made the most of it by moving house two days after you got back from England. Your wedding gifts had been shipped to the new house ahead of you, bringing with them a few pleasant surprises. In addition to the gifts left by your guests there were a number of cards sent by people who hadn't been able to attend the wedding. You and Joe made sure to read them all together, occasionally asking each other who the senders were. However, there was one card that mystified you both.

One afternoon you wandered into the kitchen to find Joe at the table bent over a stack of cards. "Babe, do you know a John and Veronica?" he asked as you passed him on your way to the pantry. "No, why?" you replied casually. "There's a card here from 'John and Veronica' and I don't know who they are so I figured they must be people you know…" "Maybe I do" you mused. “Show me.” Joe passed the card over, and you started to read. “Joe and Y/N”, it said, ‘Congratulations on your wedding. May your marriage bring you a lifetime of happiness.’ It was signed ‘John and Veronica,’ but you didn’t recognise the handwriting. “Weird,” you murmured, "'John and Veronica' sounds sort of familiar somehow…" Joe looked at you thoughtfully. "It sounds kinda familiar to me too" he said wonderingly. Suddenly he gasped. "John Deacon… John Deacon's wife's called Veronica… you don't think?" Joe babbled frantically. "Could be" you replied evenly. "But how would he have known we were getting married?" "Luke" Joe responded instantly. "Luke Deacon DM'ed me after I did the engagement post on Instagram, just to say congrats, y'know." "Nice bloke" you commented. "Very nice" Joe agreed. "He must've told his dad, I guess. But then how did he-" "Know where to send the card?" you completed. "Sent it to Roger and Brian, probably."

A quick phonecall to Roger confirmed your suspicions, and lead to some interesting revelations. "He knows the real story about you and Loolah now" Roger confessed. "He recognised you in the engagement photo. And her. At least, he knew immediately she was mine" he explained. "I suppose he would" you mused. "And he wanted… he wishes Joe well, he really does. He just wants to stay as far away from the business as possible, you know" Roger added. "I get that now, so much" you laughed. Joe, listening in, looked as though he might cry. He understood exactly what Roger meant, and it made him so very glad to hear it.

All too soon, Joe had to go back to work in LA, again. He was gone for three weeks, until mid-May. By the time he came home a hint of summer was starting to creep into the city air. Annoyingly, though, you were unable to make the most of Joe's eventual return. Lately, you had been so tired all you wanted to do was sleep, even on your days off. You'd been feeling like this for a week by the time Joe came home. The next morning you woke up feeling extremely nauseous. You tried to get up without waking Joe, but the movement made things so much worse you had to jump up and sprint for the toilet. Thank god we have an en-suite now. "Babe?" Joe groaned from the bed. "What's up?" You didn't want to open your mouth to respond. While you were curled over the bowl you heard footsteps. You were suddenly aware of Joe standing behind you. "Oh, honey" he murmured sympathetically, leaning down to rub your back in soothing circles. 

When you finally stopped heaving you looked up to see Joe studying you with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Are you sick, babe? You seemed fine last night…" "I was" you told him crossly. "Or at least, I wasn't feeling like this. I have been really tired though" you explained, thoughtfully. "Maybe you've caught something from Loolah?" Joe suggested. She was always passing things on from school. "Maybe" you echoed, unsure. "She hasn't been sick lately though." You hauled yourself upright and went to brush your teeth. "I've probably just eaten something dodgy" you assured your husband. "If you say so" he replied, sounding unconvinced. "You don't believe me?" you asked him. Joe stood behind you at the sink while you brushed, looking uncertain. "I do, it's just… well… we were, ah, trying all honeymoon, maybe it worked?" he said, rather suggestively. "I doubt it" you told him, "It’s only the first month. Besides, I'm about to get m-" Wait, what's the date? You were abruptly silenced by a sudden realisation. "What?" he asked frantically. "My period. It's two weeks late. How did I not notice that?" He smiled. "So you think-?" You nodded. "I really could be. I think I'd better go to the pharmacy today..."

Joe had to go to work that day, but by some weird stroke of luck, you had a day off. You ran out to the pharmacy that very morning and bought two tests, rushing home to do them as soon as you could. The results were clear as day. Positive. Both of them. Oh my god, it actually worked. I’m really pregnant. I have to do something cute to tell Joe. You immediately started to develop a plan for your very special announcement. I’m so happy. God, he’s going to be so excited. He’s going to be the best dad too.

Joe arrived home that afternoon to the usual enthusiastic welcome from Tallulah. When you finally managed to persuade Tallulah to let him go, you sent her off to watch cartoons while you took Joe upstairs to freshen up. "So did you get to the drugstore today?" he asked quietly. "I did" you replied, trying to sound casual. "And?" he questioned, as you reached your shared bedroom.  “I, um, I also got you a present today” you told him, pointing at a white box sitting on your shared bed. “Ookay?” Joe looked at you, confused, as he sat down and opened the box. He pulled out the tiniest Yankees shirt you’d been able to find. “This is so cute!” Joe exclaimed. “But why'd y-? Wait." He stared at the shirt intently. Suddenly he looked at you, thunderstruck. "No. Way" he breathed. "Holy shit. The honeymoon worked?" he asked excitedly, breaking into a huge grin. You nodded, wordlessly showing him the tests you'd hidden in the bedside drawer. Joe’s face lit up, as he broke into happy tears. "Oh my god. You’re actually pregnant?” he asked wonderingly. "Yes, Joe, I’m really pregnant” you echoed, tearing up yourself despite your joyful smile. “We're going to have a baby, darling.” “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m gonna be a dad!” he exclaimed, pulling you in for a bear hug and kissing you deeply through the tears.

“I’m so excited babe, I want to tell everyone” he gushed as he held you. You pulled back to look at him. “Joe, darling, I literally just peed on the sticks this morning, I haven’t even been to the doctor yet. We can’t tell anyone for now, ok?” Joe looked at your serious face and nodded, disappointed. “Ok” he agreed. You paused. “Actually, we’ll need to be careful when we go back down, even Loolah doesn’t know.” “Crap” Joe cursed. “I even have to keep this from your child who lives with us? I know I’m not the expert, but that seems like a bad idea even to me” he said. “It’s only for a few weeks” you reassured him. He sighed. “I know babe, it’s just, I’m so excited, I don’t know if I can keep it in for that long.” “Well you’ll just have to try” you replied quietly. You held each other wordlessly for a moment. “I love you, did I tell you that?” Joe murmured, finally breaking the silence. “Both of you” he added, smiling broadly. “We love you too” you replied dreamily. You didn’t think you’d ever been happier than you were at that moment.

June

By the time you managed to find a doctor and get an appointment a few weeks had passed, and you were already 9 weeks along. In the meantime you had at least managed to get your pregnancy officially confirmed by a blood test at a walk-in clinic. You were still holding off on telling people about it, but it was getting difficult to hide the fact that something was happening to you. You were constantly nauseous, and it was a battle to get through a whole day of work without a spontaneous nap. I swear it wasn’t this bad last time. I suppose I was a lot younger then. This time seems so different though. Joe had managed to keep his promise so far, even with Tallulah, but you weren’t convinced he could go much longer without exploding. In any case, he was very excited about your first appointment. He made sure he was free to go with you on your afternoon off, while Tallulah was at school.

Doctor Baker was a slightly older woman with a calm, pleasant manner and a sterling reputation. You sat quietly in front of her as she checked over your paperwork. “Ok, well, that all looks good. So, just to confirm, is this your first child?” She asked pleasantly. You and Joe looked at each other. “Uh…” he muttered.“It’s my second, but it’s his first” you explained, pointing to him. “Ok, and how old’s your first?” The doctor inquired. “She’s seven” you and Joe replied simultaneously. Doctor Baker smiled kindly. “Well, as it’s been a few years you might find things are a bit different this time around, but that’s totally normal” she told you. “Now, let’s have a look at what’s going on in there.”

You moved over to the bed in her office while she bustled around preparing the ultrasound machine. Joe sat next to you, nervously holding your hand while the doctor put the gel on your stomach and turned the machine on. “Ok, let’s see” the doctor murmured, moving the ultrasound wand around experimentally. “Ah! Here we go” she said suddenly, as the room was filled with the familiar sound of a tiny heart beating. But that doesn’t sound like I remember. “You hear that?” You nodded quietly. “That’s two heartbeats. Two strong heartbeats” the doctor informed you. What?! "There's… what?! Joe cried, his mouth opening in shock. “Two? There’s two of them?” You asked Doctor Baker, equally stunned. “Yes,” she smiled, “two healthy babies. Congratulations.” You and Joe turned to look at each other simultaneously. “Twins!” You both exclaimed. “Oh my god, twins!” Joe gushed, overjoyed. You were both tearing up at the news. “Here, have a look” Doctor Baker said quietly, moving the wand so you could see both babies. “Wow” Joe breathed. “Yeah” you agreed. You made sure to get printouts of a few images from the ultrasound. You wanted to remember this moment forever.

Joe was bursting with excitement when you left the doctor’s office. “Oh my god, babe, we’re having twins!” “I know Joe, I was there” you quipped, exasperated. “I know babe, it’s just, I can’t believe this is actually happening” he explained. “Oh, it’s really happening” you quipped, smiling. Getting home brought another challenge. “Look, I know we’re not telling people yet, but I swear to God if I don’t tell someone soon I’m going to explode” Joe told you later that day. You were still reluctant to tell anybody until you were further along, but you decided to compromise. “We could tell my parents later if you want” you suggested. Joe enthusiastically agreed, so later that afternoon you FaceTimed them while holding one of your ultrasound photos. Your mum gasped when she saw what it was, and you were pretty sure she squealed when you told her you were actually having twins. Your dad was pretty happy too, the semi-argument before your wedding now long forgotten. Joe was very pleased it wasn’t a complete secret any more, and to your immense relief he managed to keep calm once Tallulah got home. You were very excited too, but you knew it was best to wait just a bit longer before telling her. Just a few weeks, and then we can tell everybody.              

July

The arrival of July heralded the beginning of Tallulah's summer holidays. This also meant a visit from Roger, who was taking her to his house in LA for a few weeks, although he was going to enjoy a couple of days with her in New York first. The final day before their departure, which Roger spent showing Tallulah around some of the New York sights, very conveniently coincided with your next visit to Doctor Baker. It was a glorious summer’s day, and you took a minute to enjoy the weather with Joe after your appointment. Both babies had received a clean bill of health, so you were in a buoyant mood as you lounged on a park bench together, basking in the sunshine. “Please tell me we can tell Tallulah now,” Joe pleaded, “keeping this secret is absolutely killing me.” “We’ll tell her tonight” you reassured him. “Oh, wait, Roger’s coming for dinner” you realised, thinking out loud. “So?” Joe responded. “We’re gonna have to tell him at some point, might as well get it over with.” “True” you murmured. “So, we’ll tell them tonight?” he asked. “Yeah.” “And then we can tell the world” Joe added. “And then the world” you echoed, smiling contentedly. It was going to be a good summer.

That night, before dinner, you presented Tallulah with a t-shirt that said ‘World’s Best Big Sister’ on the front. Roger saw it and immediately glanced at you with a knowing smile, but said nothing. Tallulah stared at the shirt in confusion, until suddenly her face lit up when she realised what it meant. “I’m gonna be a big sister?!” She cried, beaming with excitement. You smiled at her obvious joy. “Yes, darling.” “So does that mean… there’s a baby in your tummy, Mummy?” She asked, a little uncertainly. “Actually, Loolah,” Joe cut in, sitting down beside her at the dining table, “there’s two babies in Mommy’s tummy.” “Twins?” Tallulah squealed happily. “Yeah, twins” Joe confirmed, pulling some ultrasound pictures out of his pocket. “Have a look, sweetie.”

Tallulah chattered excitedly all through dinner, clearly delighted at the prospect of two younger siblings. It sounded like she’d had a nice day out with Roger too. Finally dinner was finished, Joe was cleaning up and Roger was putting Tallulah to bed, giving you a rare moment to sink onto the couch and enjoy some peace and quiet. Joe soon returned from the kitchen to sit next to you, holding you close. "You feeling ok?" he asked softly. "Just tired" you reassured him. You cuddled quietly together, chatting lazily about nothing in particular, until Roger reappeared. "Loolah's finally asleep" he told you, settling himself into an armchair next to the couch. "She seems happy, she had lots of questions." "Which you'll have to answer for the next three weeks" you quipped, grinning evilly. "True" Roger commented thoughtfully. "Now, as I haven't said it yet, congratulations, both of you" he added, smiling warmly. "Thanks, man" Joe replied, looking pleased at Roger's obvious joy. "Twins!" Roger mused. "That's… really great, actually. I'm so pleased things have worked out for you two." You and Joe both smiled at that.

“So when are you due?” Roger asked pleasantly. “January” you replied. “Which I guess means I’ll be too pregnant to take Loolah home for Christmas like I was planning.” Joe looked surprised. “You’re already planning Christmas in July?” he asked incredulously. “Not really,” you explained, “I just remembered I’d said to Mum that we’d go back to them this year.” “Well maybe your parents’ll just have to come over here instead” Roger suggested. “Perhaps” you mused. “I could come for New Year’s, have a late Christmas with Loolah” he added, thinking out loud. “That could be fun” Joe commented. You suddenly realised your next New Year’s Eve would be very different to previous celebrations. I’m definitely looking forward to it though.

You and Joe waved Tallulah and Roger off the next morning in an extremely good mood. You were determined to make the most of Tallulah’s holiday in LA, given it was likely to be the last time you were kid-free for quite a while. First on the agenda was a long-awaited band reunion. Unusually, Ben and Gwilym were both going to be working in New York at the same time, so it had been decided that a band dinner simply had to be arranged. You and Joe had decided to make an announcement at this dinner, but your plans went slightly awry when Ben dropped in that afternoon. You didn’t want to tell him early, but he saw you dashing for the bathroom at one point and was immediately concerned. “Are you ok Y/N?” he asked you when you came back. “You look a little pale…” “I’m fine, Ben” you assured him. “What’s up?” Joe asked, wandering over to his friend. “I had to run for the loo again” you explained. “Aw, you’re still sick? I thought it was getting better” Joe sympathised. “You’re sick?” Ben asked. “Um, kind of…” you muttered sheepishly. “Kind of? Guys, what’s going on?” Ben demanded, clearly confused. Joe glanced at you, and you nodded slightly, giving him wordless permission. “It's fine, Ben, it’s just morning sickness” he explained. "Oh. Right" Ben replied automatically. Then he processed Joe's comment properly. “Wait, morning sickness? Does that mean you're-?" He looked expectantly at Joe, who nodded silently. Ben beamed in response "Oh my god, that’s so great! Congratulations!” he gushed, pulling you both into a warm bear hug.

Telling the rest of the band was easy. They knew something was up as soon as you turned down the wine they were sharing. You noticed Ben smirking slightly at their confusion as to why before Joe spoke up. “Yeah, Y/N can’t drink for the next six months… cause I knocked her up.” There were a few giggles, which were followed by a shocked silence as everyone realised Joe was serious. “Yeah, and he did a great job” you added. “I’m having twins.” This revelation triggered an explosion of happy noise around the table. “You sneaky buggers, you didn’t tell me it was twins!” Ben cried, grinning at you regardless. Lucy just squealed with happiness. Dinner was interrupted while everyone stood to embrace you and Joe and murmur their congratulations. Rami looked positively overjoyed for his old friend. "Twins. Wow" he muttered to you. "Yeah, we might need your expert advice some time" you commented. "Oh, of course. Anything you need, just let us know" he assured you.

Later on Gwilym wandered over, beaming at you. “Congratulations love, it’s wonderful news.” “Aw, thank you” you replied, smiling. “They’re not going to play baseball are they?” he asked, half-seriously. “I don’t think they’ll get much choice” you sighed, grinning. “But I’m definitely teaching them cricket too, they’re British after all. I suppose we’ll just have to let them choose when they get older.” Gwilym smiled. “How modern of you.” You grinned wolfishly. “They’re both going to be cricket fans though. No children of mine are allowed to leave me to suffer through a whole Test series alone.” Gwilym laughed at that, and you could feel his happiness for you and Joe. You really were amazed at just how happy everyone was for you.

August

August should have been blissful. Tallulah was back from LA and Joe had arranged his schedule so he'd be working in New York until she went back to school. Even then, he didn't have much on, just a bit of press for his new movie and a few meetings. You were planning to enjoy some time as a family of three, a relaxed interlude before school returned and your family grew. But you spent only a week back together before getting a sharp reminder of some of the less-welcome aspects of life as an actor's wife.

It was Sunday morning, which meant Tallulah was watching cartoons while you and Joe unwound in the kitchen with cups of tea. The peace was suddenly shattered by the jangle of Joe’s phone. Joe glanced at the screen and then at you. “Text from Lucy” he told you. “Apparently we’re on TMZ again.” You’d been attracting a bit of paparazzi attention since appearing at the premiere of Joe’s new movie a few weeks ago, and you were starting to wonder whether they suspected something. “What are they saying?” you asked casually. “I don’t know, I haven’t found it yet” Joe grumbled, scrolling rapidly on the ipad resting on the kitchen bench. “Here we go.” He turned the screen around so you could read it.

At the top was the headline ‘Bo Rhap baby on board?’ over a picture of you and Joe walking down the street, in which your bump was clearly visible under your sundress. “Bloody hell, I knew that dress wasn’t covering anything” you cursed. “Does it matter? Everybody knows anyway” Joe pointed out. “Instagram doesn’t.” “I forgot about that” Joe commented. “Maybe it’s time they did?” he suggested. You had been hoping to hold off on a public announcement a little bit longer, but now it seemed like you didn’t have much choice. “I think it is” you agreed. You spent a lot of that Sunday planning out the perfect announcement, and you found yourself surprisingly excited at the prospect of sharing your news with the world.

The next day you had a doctor’s appointment, and you made a point of getting printouts of your latest ultrasound. You all got a clean bill of health too. When you got home Joe took some very nice pictures of you holding the printouts against your now very obvious bump, as well as some of you just cradling the bump. In the end he picked one of the latter shots to post, along with a close-up of the ultrasound photos against your stomach. Underneath them he wrote: ‘Just when I thought this year couldn’t get any bigger, this happened. Our little trio will be a family of five in January. Yep, double trouble is coming for the Mazzello-Y/L/N household next year (swipe for visual evidence). I almost can’t believe how much I love our little aliens already.’ You couldn’t help smiling when you saw the post. “Good?” Joe asked. “Very” you confirmed. “You’re so cute sometimes, you’re such a softie.”

Joe’s post was instantly deluged with happy comments from all and sundry. Even Brian left a nice message: ‘So pleased for you both. These kids will have wonderful parents, and be loved by so many others too. All the best for January! Bri’. “He’s so lovely” Joe commented. “He is” you agreed. “He’s right though.” “What, that everyone’s going to love our kids?” Joe joked. You smiled. “No, silly, the other thing.” This statement seemed to surprise your husband. “You really think I’m going to be a good dad?” “Joe, you already are” you said softly. Joe was confused. “Huh?” “You’re absolutely Tallulah’s parent at this point” you explained. “Not biologically of course, but that’s not what makes a good parent anyway.” “You think I’m a good parent?” Joe questioned, blown away by your statement. “Of course darling, do you think I would have moved across the pond for you if I didn’t?” You were joking, but only partly. Joe smiled anyway.

Joe ended up needing to fly to LA in the last week of Tallulah’s summer holidays. He was extremely put out that all his careful planning had still lead to him being away over the summer, but you assured him you could survive the last few days before school on your own. Tallulah spent two of them on a sleepover, and you took the last Friday off so you could have a long weekend with her as an end-of-summer treat. You spent most of the day doing back-to-school shopping, even though you wanted nothing more than to lounge on the couch all day. You were able to do that on Saturday, while Joe was helping Tallulah pick out her first day of school outfit via FaceTime. Joe insisted on taking on that particular parent duty, even while he was on the other side of the country. “You wouldn’t understand the importance of this,” he told you. “You always wore a uniform.” You just shrugged; you didn’t have the energy to argue. You weren’t that bothered, truth be told. You were glad to see Joe making the effort to spend some one-on-one time with Tallulah while he still could, even if it was over FaceTime. Oddly, watching them made you miss Joe more, but you knew he’d be home soon enough.

September

Joe had to stay in LA until mid-September. He was quite disappointed about missing Tallulah’s first day back at school, though she didn’t seem to mind much. She was too busy reuniting with all her friends and getting to know her new class. You were glad she was happy to be back at school, and there were a few parents you were pleased to see again too. Many of them had already heard about your impending new arrivals, and those that hadn’t were made aware by your now very obvious bump. In any case they all seemed quite happy for you, which made for a very positive first day of school on all fronts.

You went to a doctor’s appointment by yourself while Joe was away. You didn’t mind particularly, but it felt a bit odd given he’d been so involved up to that point. Doctor Baker seemed surprised to see you alone. “No Joe?” she asked casually. “He’s away” you explained. “Working in LA.” The doctor nodded in understanding. “Of course.” There was a pause while you prepared yourself for the examination. “When you’re ready we’re going to do an ultrasound” Doctor Baker explained. “We should be able to find out the genders today, if you want.” I totally forgot I was getting to that point. Do I want to know though? You hesitated to respond. Wait, does Joe want to know? He should be here when we find out. If we find out. “I think I’d prefer not to know for now” you finally told her. “We can always find out later if we decide we want to know, right?” The doctor nodded. “Absolutely. You’ll have plenty more ultrasounds after this one.” Something to look forward to, then.

Joe was pleased when you told him you hadn’t found out yet. “I definitely want to be there when we find out what we’re having” he told you, when you were FaceTiming that night. “So you want to know, then?” “Yeah” he confirmed. “Don’t you?” You shrugged. “I’m not fussed. I never found out with Loolah, and-” “You weren’t desperate to know?” Joe was shocked. “I didn’t really care what I had, it made no difference to me” you explained. “Plus I didn’t want to freak Roger out, finding out before the birth wasn’t an option in his day.” Joe grinned. “Well it is now, and I don’t want to wait four more months to find out.” You smiled contentedly. “We’ll find out when you get back then.”

Finally the day of Joe’s temporary homecoming arrived. He would have to leave again in only a fortnight, but you were very glad to be getting him back in the meantime. Joe's eyes bugged out when he saw how much you'd grown since he'd been away. "Has it really only been three weeks?!" "Growth spurt" you shrugged. "Or maybe you just didn’t notice how big I was when you left. Anyway, welcome home." You smiled, leaning in for a quick, chaste kiss before Tallulah came barrelling down the hallway to greet Joe. You decided to leave them to it, and shuffled off back to the couch. You could hear Joe clumping around for a while, chatting with Tallulah and putting his things away. Suddenly it went quiet, and then you saw your husband flop down next to you. "Hi honey. I missed you" he told you, leaning over and giving you a deep, hungry kiss. "I missed you too" you murmured, as you broke apart. Joe put his hands on your bump, leaning down to kiss it. "And I missed- what was that?" he asked frantically, eyes wide with shock at what he'd just felt. "I think that was a kick" you told him, smiling. "Keep talking." "What?" Joe asked, confused. "They seem to like your voice" you explained. "Oh. Ok. Well, um, this job kinda sucks and I don't like the director at all. I mean-" Joe stopped abruptly, staring at you with a mixture of joy and shock. "They both kicked" he murmured, looking slightly teary. "Suddenly this all feels a lot more real." "Oh it's plenty real, darling" you told him, smiling broadly. “Yeah but… they’re really real. I have actual living kids in there” Joe marvelled. “I’m actually going to be a dad.” He was practically crying at that. “It’s going to be great Joe. You’re going to be great” you assured him.

Joe’s hands barely left your bump for days. He was determined not to miss anything while he was home, no matter how small. He was particularly excited about attending your next appointment now that you were going to find out the genders of your babies. Your twins weren’t identical, so both babies would need to be checked. You and Joe were both rather antsy as the ultrasound got underway. “Ok, we’re almost there” Doctor Baker told you, smiling at your obvious excitement. She peered at the screen for a minute. “So this one is Baby A, and it’s a boy.” You turned to Joe. “A boy!” he beamed, slightly glossy eyed. Your moment was broken by Doctor Baker clearing her throat. You turned your attention back to her. “I’ve found Baby B now, and it looks like…” You felt a flutter in your belly as you saw the baby turn away from you on the screen. “Well they’re not cooperating now,” the doctor went on, “but from what I saw before it looked like a boy too.” You and Joe were quiet as you digested the news. Two boys. Bloody hell. Your reverie was broken by Doctor Baker’s voice. “I feel I should warn you, with the ultrasound we can’t guarantee what we tell you is right, but I’m pretty confident about Baby A being a boy.” “You’re not confident about Baby B?” Joe asked her. “Not entirely, I didn’t get a very good look before they decided to hide.” “It’s fine” you assured her, wanting to get on with the appointment before Joe got worked up. Whatever happened, you’d deal with it when the time came.    

October

Joe spent quite a lot of October flying back and forth between work in LA and your home in New York. His shooting schedule turned out to involve a lot of three day breaks, just long enough for a quick visit home. You would have quite liked to spend most of them relaxing together, but Joe was determined to do as much baby preparation as possible while he was home, to save you the effort. He was thrilled to be having twin boys, and had dived into nursery set-up with gusto. He was determined to get the big things like the cribs sorted out nice and early, just in case. “You’re having twins, they’re likely to come early” he reminded you after you told him for the umpteenth time to relax. “They’re not due for months, Joe. Besides, the doctor said everything’s on track for January.” Your husband wouldn’t be persuaded. “Things can change very quickly. You never know when something might happen.” You stopped arguing the point when you realised he was never going to change his mind, and eventually Joe admitted he was doing it because he felt guilty about leaving you alone at home so much.

You weren’t actually alone very often though. There was Tallulah, of course, and plenty of your friends and family were dropping in regularly to check up on you (you suspected Joe might have told them how he worried about you). Joe’s mother was a frequent visitor, spurred by the desire to both help you and reassure her son. One afternoon you were sat with her drinking tea, not long after Joe had FaceTimed you. “So how was the daddy-to-be?” she asked. You smiled. “Same as usual. Annoyed he’s not here, missing us desperately.” Joe’s mother smiled affectionately. “Didn’t want to talk about work then.” “He never does” you told her. Suddenly Tallulah trotted up to the couch. “Did you say Daddy?” she asked eagerly. “We were talking about Joe, darling” you explained. Tallulah was confused. “But he’s not Daddy.” “He’s not” you agreed. “But he’s their daddy.” You patted your swollen belly, indicated Tallulah’s unborn siblings. “Oh.” Tallulah looked thoughtful; you wondered whether she understood. “Does that mean I have to call Joe Daddy when the babies come?” she finally asked. You smiled reassuringly. “Not if you don’t want to. But other people might” you explained. “Oh. Ok.” Tallulah looked unhappy at this development. “Could I make a suggestion?” Joe’s mum asked gently. “Loolah, do you remember how I told you Joe’s half-Italian?” Tallulah nodded. “Well the Italian word for daddy is ‘papa’. Maybe you could call him that instead?” “Papa…” Tallulah pronounced the word experimentally, testing how it sounded. Suddenly she smiled. “I like it!” She wasn’t the only one. Joe beamed when he heard her greet him with a happy “Hi Papa!” on FaceTime. We’re really a family now, aren’t we.

November

Joe had hoped his work schedule would continue to allow him frequent trips to see you, but it was not to be. He had one break before Thanksgiving, for a single day, which he spent alone in LA, desperately wishing he was home. As the weeks rolled on he was increasingly worried about how you were managing on your own. “I’m not on my own, Joe” you assured him down the phone. “Your mum visits twice a week, and Lucy texts me five times a day to check on me.” Lucy was coming to New York to spend Thanksgiving with Rami, and you were already making extensive plans to get together while she was in town. “I know she is, Rami told me” Joe grumbled. “I’m just worried that you’ll be alone with Tallulah and something’ll happen and I won’t be there to help.” His concern for you was evident in the tone of his voice. “Tallulah’s seven, babe, she’s perfectly capable of calling someone if we need help” you pointed out. “I suppose…” Joe sighed. “But what if they come early and I’m not there?” “You’re going to be back a month before they’re due, and even the doctor thinks they’re unlikely to come before Christmas.” Or so you thought.

Joe finally came home for Thanksgiving weekend, and the day after the holiday you had yet another appointment with Doctor Baker. Carrying twins meant you needed frequent checkups to make sure things continued to progress smoothly. This time you got some unexpected, and not entirely welcome, news. “So are you all ready for these guys to arrive?” the doctor asked pleasantly, while you were tidying yourself up after your examination. “Uh, kind of” you and Joe both stuttered. Doctor Baker looked slightly worried. “Well, I don’t want to alarm you, but I think you should be aware that realistically you could go into labour really any time from now on.” You were both shocked. “But isn’t it still too early?” you asked, suddenly scared. “I mean. I’m not due for another seven weeks.” Doctor Baker hurried to reassure you. “That’s true, and at this point it’s early enough that our first move would be to try and stop the labour, but that doesn’t always work.” You and Joe looked at each other with concern, not particularly reassured. “Look, I don’t think you’re going to go into labour tomorrow, and even if you did I would expect your babies to be absolutely fine” the doctor told you calmly. “But I would be prepared for them to arrive some time before Christmas.” “But that’s still three weeks early at least!” you spluttered. “Three weeks early is nearly full term” Doctor Baker said calmly. “And twins are very often born early. Not always, but it’s very common. In any case, I’m only telling you this because I think it would be a good idea if you started to make a plan now for what you want to happen when your babies do come. Just in case, you know. It never hurts to be prepared.” “Of course Doctor. Thanks for the advice” Joe replied, sounding calmer than he looked as you left the doctor’s office.

On your drive home Joe let the façade drop. “They can’t come yet, I’m about to be away for two weeks” he said, seemingly on the verge of panic. “And it’s still so early, what if one of them’s sick?” “They won’t be, Joe, we’re in good hands” you told him, not entirely believing it yourself. “Anyway, we definitely need to make a plan. I don’t want them to come while you’re not here either, but I’d much rather be at least somewhat prepared if they do.” “You’re right” Joe sighed. “When we get home we’ll work something out.”

In the end the plan you came up with mostly involved going to the hospital and ringing Joe as soon as possible so he could get on the next plane home. “What if I don’t get there in time though?” He fretted. “I’ll make sure to record it for you” you reassured him. “But they’re my first kids, I want to be there. I’m supposed to go through it with you!” You wrapped your arms around him in an attempt to comfort him. “I know, darling, I want you with me too. But sometimes life doesn’t give you what you want, and that’s ok.” Joe shook his head. “No it’s not. I don’t want to be that dad who wasn’t even there when his kids were born.” “You could never be that dad, Joe” you reassured him, pulling him close. “If you do end up missing it, it won’t be your fault at all.” Your husband suddenly peered intently at you. “How are you so calm about this?” “Last time I had a baby I had absolutely no way of knowing if the father would be there, and neither did he” you pointed out. “As much as he wanted to be there, neither of us had any control over it. This time we do, and I know you’ll move heaven and earth to get here in time if it comes down to it.” Joe still wasn’t entirely soothed, but he at least had faith you would be alright, whatever happened.

The knowledge that the babies could come at any time made Joe more worried than ever about leaving you alone while he was on the other side of the country. Fortunately, your wonderful friends were more than happy to step in when they were informed of the situation. Lucy was staying in New York until New Year’s, so she organised to visit you every day she could while Joe was away, and she promised to send Rami on the days she couldn’t. She even volunteered to be your hospital buddy if necessary. Ben also happily offered support, though of a slightly different kind.

“Uh, babe, would you be okay with a houseguest while I’m away?” Joe asked you at dinner, the night before he was due to fly back to LA. “Depends who it is” you said casually. “Why?” “Ben’s in town for press next week, and we thought maybe he could stay here, help you with Loolah til I get back.” That would be helpful. “How long’s he here for?” you inquired. “Two weeks, we’re gonna hang out for a couple days when he’s done working” Joe explained. “When’s he get here?” “Monday week” Joe told you. I’d only have to spend a week alone while Joe’s not here. You smiled. “Okay then.” Relief swept over Joe’s face. “Oh good. I feel a lot better about leaving you now I know you won’t be alone” he told you. “In the meantime I’m telling them they’re to stay put until you’re home again” you said firmly.        

December

True to her word, Lucy had visited you nearly every day after Joe returned to LA. The first day after Joe left turned out to be the one day she wasn’t free, so Rami dropped in to check on you instead. He insisted it was no trouble, despite his busy schedule. “I had a day off today, I wasn’t busy” he told you, after you thanked him for making time to see you. “Anyway, I’m always here for you and Joe. Me and Lucy. If you need anything, honestly, just call us, anytime. Even the middle of the night, we won’t mind. Seriously, we’re here to help however we can.” “Thanks, Rami” you murmured, hearing the sincerity in his words.

The first week without Joe passed surprisingly quickly, and before you knew it the day of Ben’s arrival was upon you. You were looking forward to having some adult company, but you were slightly nervous too. You’d never spent any substantial time alone with Ben, and now he was going to be sharing your house for a fortnight. Tallulah, on the other hand, was extremely excited about one of her favourite people coming to stay. So excited, in fact, that she tried to stay home from school to be there when he arrived. You eventually won the battle, but the whole process of getting her to school tired you out so much that you spent a lot of the morning napping on your couch. You awoke to the telltale sound of a car in the driveway, and waddled as fast as you could to the front door, opening it just in time to see a cab disgorge Ben, a large suitcase and two other bags.

Ben smiled when he saw you in the doorway. “Y/N!” he called out happily. “Don’t come out, I can sort myself. Go and sit down, I won’t be long.” You made agreeing noises, realising you wouldn’t be much help with anything in your present state. Besides, you were officially banned from heavy lifting, you wouldn’t even be able to help carry something. Several minutes of shuffling and yelling directions up and down your stairs later, Ben was settled into your guest room. When he came downstairs again he was smiling warmly. “It really is good to see you again, love.” “You too” you agreed. Ben’s eyes went wide when he finally got a good look at you, and your enormous bump. “God, you’re…” He trailed off, looking apologetic. “Go on, say it. It’s fine” you assured him. “Well then, you’re kind of huge. Joe’s told me about the bump, hell he’s even shown me pictures, but seeing the real thing… how do you even get that big and not, like, break?” “With great difficulty” you quipped. You weren’t offended by Ben’s honest reaction, you knew he was just a bit shocked.

Five minutes later you were sat on the couch nursing a cup of tea while Ben made himself a coffee. You were quite grateful to be sitting down as the monsters were suddenly restless. “I’m done here, do you want anything else?” Ben called from the kitchen. “I’m good” you called back. Ben returned to the couch to see you holding your tea rather gingerly while looking uncomfortable. “Are you alr- … what is that?” His eyes widened when he glanced at your bump and realised it was moving. You smiled reassuringly. “They’re just kicking. D’you wanna feel?” Ben grinned eagerly. “Yeah! If that’s ok with you?” “Of course it is. C’mere.” He’s so lovely. Half the planet doesn’t even bother asking before touching the bump. You placed his hand over the spot the babies were kicking at. His jaw dropped at the feeling. “That’s so weird! It must be weirder for you though, feeling that from inside.” You grinned. “It is a bit, but it’s sort of reassuring too, getting to feel that they’re still there, still ok.” Ben smiled. “Well it seems pretty cool to me.” You grinned back. “Oh, it’s very cool.” 

Tallulah was very excited to come home and find Ben waiting for her. “Benny!” She yelled, running over to embrace him. “Loolah!” He cried back. “You’ve grown so much since I saw you, you’re getting so big!” He gushed. “I heard you’re going to be a big sister soon too.” She nodded seriously. “Mommy’s having two babies. That’s why she’s so big.” Ben smiled. “I heard. Now come into the lounge room, I’ve got a present for you.” He smiled at you on the way past. “I’ve got a present for Mummy too.”

Ben had brought your daughter a kid’s cricket set, complete with plastic wickets. “She’s English, she shouldn’t be playing bloody softball” he quipped. “Also Gwilym may have told me I have to save her before she goes native.” You just laughed. For you, Ben had brought over a big jar of marmite and two large packs of Jaffa Cakes. “Joe told me you’d been craving them” he explained. You were surprised. “Joe talks to you guys about pregnancy stuff?” Ben smiled exasperatedly. “Mate, he hardly shuts up about it.” You smiled affectionately. “Not that it’s not cute how excited he is,” Ben said hurriedly, “but he’s barely talked about anything else for months.” Okay, I can see how that could get annoying. Still adorable though. 

Ben slotted surprisingly easily into the routines of your household. He was out working or socialising at various times of the day or night, but when he was home he was an excellent guest. He took Tallulah to and from school as often as possible, knowing leaving the house was fast becoming a big effort for you. He also insisted on doing as much housework as he could, helping you with washing, cooking and cleaning whenever he had time. “Joe’d have my head if he thought I’d left you to do everything in your condition” Ben joked one day, after you’d told him for the umpteenth time you were fine to do light chores. You didn’t particularly mind, if you were really honest, you actually quite liked having an extra adult around.

Joe finally came home in the second week of December. You shared a very long hug in the doorway when he finally made it home. He nearly cried with relief when he saw you. Of course he’d already known that you were ok before he left LA, but he’d spent two weeks worrying about what ifs, not to mention the several interminable hours he spent unable to talk to you on the plane. “If we ever have another I’m staying home the whole time, I never want to deal with that much worry again” he declared later. That night Ben had dinner at home with the three of you. Joe had wanted to go out, but he took one look at your expression when he suggested it and immediately changed his mind. During the meal he took a picture with Ben, which he posted to Instagram with the caption ‘Finally reunited.’ Naturally, his comments exploded in minutes, but he was too focused on catching up with both of you to care. 

You were so looking forward to spending a few days just relaxing with Joe now that he was finally home. But apparently your children had other plans. The very next morning you lurched awake at 5am with a sharp pain in your belly. You didn't think much of it initially, you'd been having all sorts of pains on and off for weeks. Then you realised you were lying in a wet patch. Well shit. "Joe." You tried to shake your husband awake gently. "Joe, wake up." "What?" he groaned, still mostly asleep. "I think my waters broke" you said urgently. He lurched upright. "It's go time? Even though it’s still five weeks early?" he asked, suddenly awake. "Looks like it" you said dryly. Joe leapt out of bed, looking frantic. "Shit. Ok. We need to get the bag, and get dressed, and-" "Joe, calm down. There's no need to rush, we've got plenty of time" you reassured your frantic husband. He immediately stopped babbling. "Well, you're the expert." You smiled. "Help me get dressed?" you requested. "Of course babe." Joe's eyes were soft and loving as he spoke. It took only a few minutes for you both to be ready to leave the house. But you had a couple more things to attend to before you could head to the hospital.

First Joe helped you across the landing to the guest bedroom currently occupied by Ben. He entered quietly with you waddling behind him. "Ben" he whispered urgently, nudging his friend, "Ben, come on." It didn't work, so Joe reached across to hit him gently with a spare pillow. "Ben!" Ben rolled over, groaning, only to snap awake at the sight of the two of you leaning over his bed. "What, what's going on?" he asked, concerned. "The babies are coming" Joe explained. "We have to go to the hospital." "Perfect timing" Ben quipped. "Yeah, if this had happened this time yesterday you’d have been driving me" you joked. "Look, I’m pretty glad this guys held off until now" Joe cut in. "But anyway, I know you're here for work but can you do us a huge favour and watch Tallulah today?" he added, pleading a little with his eyes. Ben smiled. "Of course I can. I think I'm actually free today anyway" the blond man told you both. "Great!" you smiled. "Now brace yourself, she's probably going to come and jump on you after we wake her." "So make sure you're decent under there" Joe added, as he helped you out of the room. Ben just groaned. It was too early in the day for humour. 

You had one more stop before leaving. Tallulah's room. "Loolie?" you said quietly, reaching over from the chair next to her bed. "Mommy?" she replied in surprise, peering at you sleepily. "It's ok darling, I just wanted to tell you the babies are coming today" you reassured her. "Today?" Tallulah echoed. "Yes, darling. Joe's taking me to the hospital in a minute" you told her gently. "Ben's going to stay and look after you, so be good for him, okay?" you instructed. "Yes Mommy" she murmured back. "Ok, big sister, I'll see you later" you said happily, leaning over to hug your daughter. "I love you" you whispered into her wavy blonde hair. "Love you Mommy" she whispered back. You felt oddly emotional as you kissed her goodbye and left the room. Next time I see her she'll be a big sister.  

You managed to stay calm while Joe helped you into the car. But almost as soon as you started moving you burst into tears. "You ok?" Joe asked casually. Your weird moods were nothing exceptional any more. "Mostly" you told him. "It's just hit me as we were leaving that Tallulah's not going to be my only child after today" you explained. "That's a good thing, though, isn't it?" he replied, concerned. "Of course it is" you assured him. "It's just that, it was just me and her for so long, and even after you came along we were so close, and now it's not going to be like that any more" you explained, rather sadly. "Babe, you're not going to lose your bond with Loolah just because you've got other kids to raise" Joe reassured you. "I mean, it's going to be different now, but a good different, right?" "Yeah, good different" you agreed. "Plus, she's so pumped to be a big sister, it's gonna be so cute" he told you, smiling. 

It was fairly quick, in the end. You had wondered whether Doctor Baker would attempt to stop the labour, but she told you the best option at this point was to let it happen. “You’re far enough along that your babies are more or less fully developed, even though they’re not quite full term” she assured you. “They’re very healthy, they’ll be perfectly fine.” She also gave you an injection soon after you arrived at the hospital to help the babies’ lungs develop. I don’t think it’ll have much time to work, but I suppose even a little bit helps.

Joe stayed at your side for almost the entire labour, holding your hand, rubbing your back and doing anything and everything you needed him to. Finally, just before noon, the first baby arrived. "Here he is!" Doctor Baker called out, as his piercing cries filled the room. You were flooded with relief when you heard it. His lungs must be ok then. Joe sniffled as he cut the cord, and then there was a sudden flurry of activity on the other side of the room as various people descended to check the baby over, concerned about the potential consequences of his early birth. The doctor had told you earlier that a team from the NICU would be present to check both babies immediately after delivery, but you couldn’t help worrying at the sight of the crowd around your tiny son. He was only five weeks early, but what if something was wrong? Fortunately, nobody in the room seemed overly concerned so far.

Moments later, calm descended, and a nurse came over to you, carrying your son in a loose blanket. "He’s a bit small, but he’s totally healthy” she told you, smiling. “You want to help keep him warm while we wait for the other baby?" she asked. You shook your head. "Dad gets first go" you told her, smiling. Joe was wide-eyed with wonder as she placed his baby on his exposed chest for skin-to-skin bonding, showing him how to support his son's body correctly. "Hey buddy" he murmured, in a sing-song voice. His overjoyed face when he looked over to you, barely holding back happy tears, was a memory you would treasure forever. "We have a son babe" he marvelled. "I have a son."

You smiled, then suddenly groaned. "I think we're about to have another o-aaargghhh!" "Alright Y/N, time to push again" Doctor Baker said brightly. Well duh. You could have slapped her if she'd been in reach. But then you looked back at Joe, happily cradling your son on his chest, while trying to hold your hand at the same time and looking desperately conflicted, and you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of calm wash over you. It was strangely grounding as you gathered your remaining strength. Doctor Baker started gently talking you through the process, but your energy was rapidly running out. "Almost there Y/N, one more push now" she instructed you. "I can't do it any more," you cried, "I'm too tired." "You're so close now, just one more push" the doctor encouraged. "I can't" you cried again, shaking your head. Suddenly Joe squeezed your hand. "Babe, look at me" he said, voice low and soft. You turned to see him wearing an expression that was somehow adoring and determined at the same time. "I know you're tired, but you're so so close to the finish line. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, I know you can do this" he told you encouragingly. "Ok" you replied in a small voice. Joe smiled at you adoringly. "Now let's go. I'm right here with you." You gripped his hand tightly as you summoned one final effort. Moments later crying rang out through the room once again.

"Well done Y/N, you did it… oh, and it's a girl!" Doctor Baker announced. "What?!" you and Joe yelled simultaneously. "You said they were boys!" he spluttered, utterly shocked as he leant over to cut the cord again. You were rapidly becoming too exhausted to care much. The doctor was unfazed. "Well, I was wrong" she responded calmly. "Ultrasounds can be tricky to read sometimes, especially with twins. But I made a mistake, and I'm sorry about that." "It's ok" you replied. Joe still looked indignant, but at that moment a nurse came and placed your tiny daughter on your chest. His expression softened immediately, and he quickly broke into happy tears. "One of each" he sniffled, gazing between his newborn children. "We've got one of each now." You just smiled contentedly. "Yeah we do." Joe leaned over to kiss you gently. “You’re amazing honey, you really are. I love you so much.” You smiled contentedly at him “I love you too dear.”

You could have stayed there forever, you thought, just gazing at the two little beings you’d created. They would need to go to NICU soon, but they were breathing well and doing everything they were supposed to, so you were given some time to bond first. You spent the first half hour enjoying first cuddles and skin-to-skin time. You were actually encouraged to go skin-to-skin as much as possible to help the babies regulate their body temperatures. You were hardly complaining though. Joe eventually got out his phone to take some photos of you and the twins. You were very pleased you managed to capture some of him too, especially the heartwarming expression on his face when he did skin-to-skin with both babies at once for the first time. Soon after he took a similar picture of you, which he promptly sent to Ben to announce the birth. “Couldn’t resist, sorry. You just look so happy.” “So do you” you told Joe, grinning. He smiled. “I feel ridiculously happy right now.” Thirty seconds later Joe’s phone buzzed. “Ben says congratulations” he told you. “Oh, and he’s told Tallulah. He wants to know if he can bring her in to meet them yet.” Joe looked at you with concern. “Should we let him? Will they be ok?” he asked nervously. “Joe, they’re basically fine” you reassured him. “I’m sure the doctor would have told us if visitors weren’t allowed.” You smiled. “Tell him to head in. It’ll be nicer for Loolie to see them now anyway, before they go in the incubators.” Three minutes later Ben texted again saying they were on their way, and you and Joe spent a few minutes making yourselves presentable before settling in to wait.

Suddenly a pair of blond heads poked through the door. "Are you ready for a visitor?" Ben asked, smiling gently. "Definitely" Joe smiled. Ben stepped aside to reveal Tallulah, who rushed into the room with a happy cry. Joe stopped her just inside the door. "We need to be quiet and gentle, okay? The babies are delicate, we don't want to hurt them by accident" he explained. "Ok" Tallulah nodded gravely. Joe led her to your bed, where the babies were resting against your chest. "Hello Mommy" she said quietly. "Hi Loolie" you replied. "You're a big sister darling!" you told her happily. "Come and sit next to me so you can see them." "Ok" Tallulah beamed. There was a bit of awkward shuffling while Joe arranged a chair for her. During this interlude you glanced up to see Ben lurking at the door to your room. "You're allowed to come in, you know" you commented. "Oh, I don't want to intrude…" he muttered, slightly embarrassed. "You could never" Joe reassured his friend. Ben smiled at that. "Well, if you're sure…" "Yes" you and Joe insisted simultaneously. "Come on, I'll grab you a seat" Joe added, trotting off immediately.

You turned your attention back to Tallulah, now sat near your head. "Darling, this is your brother Joey" you told her, pointing to the baby on the right. "And this" you added, indicating the other baby, "is your sister. She doesn't have a name yet." Tallulah's face lit up at this news. "I have a brother and a sister? Cool!" You had to smile at how pleased she was. "Wait, she's a girl? I thought they were both boys" Ben chimed in, from his spot facing Tallulah's chair. "Yeah, so did we" Joe quipped. "It was a nice surprise though" he added, voice softening enormously. You smiled quietly to yourself for a brief moment, before Tallulah's voice broke through your reverie. "Can I hold them Mommy?" "Of course" you smiled. "Who do you want to hold first?" 

You had expected Tallulah might be extra pleased to have a sister, but she was equally entranced by both babies, evidently thrilled just to have siblings of her own. She seemed very comfortable holding them too, despite Joe’s nervous hovering and many reminders to “be gentle, they’re delicate.” Clearly she was a natural big sister. Ben, too, looked like a natural with a newborn in his arms, even if he was a little freaked out by just how small your babies were. "He's so little" he cooed, after being handed Joey by Tallulah, who was now gently cuddling her new sister. "Seriously, I don't think I've seen a baby this tiny before, and I've definitely never held one." "You're not nervous are you?" you asked half-seriously. "Little bit" Ben admitted. "I'm worried I'll accidentally hurt him cos he seems so fragile." Joe smiled reassuringly. "You're doing great, man" he told his friend. "They actually are kinda small though, even for newborns. But you’ll be fine, don’t worry about it." You thought both babies did look particularly tiny against Ben's muscly frame, but you said nothing. Joe, though, snapped a very sweet picture of Ben holding your daughter on his phone. “I have to preserve this image for posterity” he told you. Ben took some pictures too, after he handed the babies back to you and Joe. Your favourite was the shot he got of your whole family, gazing adoringly at its newest members. "You look so happy, guys" he commented, showing you the picture afterwards. You and Joe smiled contentedly at him. "We are" you replied. And you were.

You were well enough to be released after three nights in hospital. The twins, however, were required to stay in NICU for a few more days. “It’s mainly for observation” their doctor told you. “They’re doing very well, we just want to be sure there’s no issues before we let them go home.” You were reassured there were no concerns about your babies’ health, but it didn’t make it any easier to be forcibly separated from them, even if it was only when you went home at night.

The many hours spent watching over the twins in NICU proved somewhat useful, as you and Joe were now faced with the unexpected dilemma of choosing a name for your newborn daughter. You’d agreed long ago that your first son would be officially named after Joe, though you’d decided to nickname him Joey to avoid confusion. But discussions about girls’ names hadn’t gone very far before you’d been given the impression you were having twin boys. Since that impression had turned out to be incorrect, you were now facing an uphill battle to agree on a name for your little girl.

"Madison?" Joe suggested. "No. Too American" you responded instantly. “You do realise she is American?” Joe pointed out. You didn’t particularly care. “Only half. Anyway I don’t like the name. Any other ideas?” "Fine” Joe huffed. “Uh, Amy?” You considered it for a moment. “Amy Mazzello. Mhmm, maybe.” “Maybe?” Joe spluttered. “Well what’ve you got then?” “Matilda?” You offered. “I don’t like it” Joe replied. “Way too English. And, Matilda Mazzello?” “Yeah, that doesn’t sound great” you conceded. “Ooh I know! Poet” Joe suggested. You didn’t like it. “God no. We’re not Hollywood hippies, Joe” “You totally are a hippy” he snorted. You quirked your eyebrows. “What makes you say that?” “Uh, you called your first kid Tallulah Rainbow?” he pointed out. “Tallulah is a perfectly respectable name!” You protested. “Besides, the Rainbow part came from her father, not me.” “That… kind of makes sense” Joe conceded. “Still a bit hippy though.” “It’s really not” you grumbled, explaining the significance of the Rainbow Theatre in Tallulah’s life story. “Actually, that’s quite sweet” Joe admitted. Nevertheless, you and Joe were still struggling to find any names you both liked.

In the end, the solution arrived from a rather unexpected source: miss Tallulah Rainbow herself. “Amber” she suggested, when you asked if she had any name ideas to offer her sister. “Amber…” you and Joe considered. “Amber Mazzello…” “I like that” Joe told you. “So do I” you agreed. Joe feigned shock. “We both like it? I don’t believe it!” “Oh shut up” you grumped. “Anyway, do we want to try and find a middle name we can agree on, or just give her one name and be done with it?” “Actually, I was hoping we could slot in a Queen reference somewhere” Joe admitted. “I was thinking maybe her middle name could be Mercury?” “That’s such a cool name” Ben interjected. “It is” you agreed. “So, Amber Mercury Mazzello?” Joe suggested, carefully sounding out the full name for the first time. “Amber Mercury Mazzello” you repeated. “I love it.” 

You felt bad for messing up Ben's plans, but you could also see that having him around was an utter godsend while the twins were still in hospital. Despite supposedly being in town for work, he spent a lot of that week looking after Tallulah and generally being helpful around the house. This had the dual benefit of freeing you and Joe to spend most of your time with the twins, and ensuring Tallulah didn’t feel too left out in all the chaos. Ben did end up having to cancel a couple of interviews, but he didn’t mind too much. “They were group interviews, the rest of the cast still went, it’s fine” he assured you over dinner one night. "Besides, one of them was with Screenstuff, so I’m quite happy to have missed that." “With Marcie?” Joe asked, in a very sympathetic tone. “Yep” Ben replied. “Uhh, Screenstuff?” You asked. “Entertainment website. Marcie’s their main movie reporter and she’s… not the brightest” Joe explained. “Has a really obvious thing for Ben too.” You were confused. “Is… is that a bad thing?” “It is when I’m trying to promote a project and my body is all they ask about” Ben clarified. “Apparently she got all miffed when I didn’t turn up today, said half her questions were for me” he told Joe. Joe whistled. “Bet that went down well.” A sudden thought occurred to you. “You didn’t tell them where you were, did you?” you asked frantically. “Only the other cast members, and they didn’t tell anyone” he assured you. “They just told the reporters I was sick, no one’s going to work it out, don’t worry.” You were very relieved, seeing as no-one outside your immediate circle knew the babies had arrived yet, and you wanted to keep it that way at least until they were out of hospital. 

Finally, the big day arrived. The twins were finally released from hospital after six days in NICU. Joe was a bundle of nervous excitement as he very carefully placed them in their carseats and drove you all home. The excitement seemed to win out for most of the day, until you put both babies down for an afternoon nap. As you sank gratefully onto the couch, you noticed Joe staring into space with a rather stricken expression. “What’s up, love?” “It just hit me a minute ago…” he mumbled. “What just hit you?” You had a hunch about what was bothering him, but you wanted to hear him say it. “I just realised I’m now responsible for two whole human beings for the rest of my life, and I’m freaked out” he told you. “Like, I’m super happy that they’re here and they’re healthy and they’re ours, but…” You smiled gently. “I know you are, dear, I am too.” Joe suddenly looked at you with confusion. “Wait, why aren’t you freaking out right now?” “Been here before,” you said airily, “I’m still a little freaked out, I just knew it was coming.” You paused. “Plus, it’s less scary this time” you added. “It’s not so new and different, and I’ve got you.” Joe smiled at that. “Indeed you do. You’re not slightly terrified by having two though?” You waved a hand. “We’ll manage. There’s two of them, but there’s two of us too.”

Joe was slightly startled the following afternoon when he picked up his phone and realised he hadn’t even looked at Instagram in nearly a week. “It’s so weird” he muttered, scrolling through everything he’d missed. You wondered what he’d seen. “What’s weird?” “It feels like my whole world’s… shifted since I got home, but on Instagram everything seems exactly the same” he explained. “Even my Insta looks like I’ve just been hanging out with Ben all week, but I’ve barely seen him.” “Everyone knows Insta’s mostly not real life” you reassured him. “Yeah,” Joe agreed, “but this is such a huge thing in my life and it’s not there at all.” “Well, if you wanna announce it, feel free. We’ve told all our friends and families now anyway” you pointed out. Joe grinned excitedly. “You’re ready to tell the world about them?” “Absolutely.”

Joe agonised over his baby announcement post. In the end he picked a picture you’d taken of him with the twins dozing on his chest. He posted it with a lengthy caption: ‘So this week I was supposed to be relaxing with Ben… Instead I spent most of it at the hospital since these guys decided to make their entrance last Saturday, five weeks early. Everyone’s healthy, they just needed a bit of time to adjust to life earthside. Anyway, meet my new favourite people: Joseph Francis IV (but we’re calling him Joey) and Amber Mercury (she’s in the dino onesie) Mazzello. Also my wife is amazing and I love her so much more than I can ever express.’ Gwilym very quickly commented ‘So incredibly happy for all of you. Can’t wait to get over and meet these cuties!’ Lucy just posted a line of heart eyes emojis. Later on Brian left a lengthy note. ‘Delighted to hear these two arrived safe and healthy, if a bit ahead of schedule. Hopefully everyone’s adjusting well to their new roles. Huge congratulations and warmest wishes to you all. Bri’. Even Ben eventually chimed in: ‘They’ve stolen my man but they’re so cute I’m not even mad.’    

The next day you got a rude shock, when you realised that despite the lavishly decorated tree in your lounge room you and Joe had entirely forgotten Christmas was nearly upon you. By the time you remembered it was only a week away. “There’s so much to do” you fretted to Joe. “We’ve got to wrap everything and do cards and… shit, two of our kids don’t even have any presents yet.” “They’re a week old, I don’t think they’re gonna care” your husband tried to reassure you. It didn’t help. “But it’s their first Christmas, they’ve got to have something” you insisted. Joe smiled reassuringly. “Well in that case, I’d better go shopping tomorrow” he declared, kissing you gently.

Joe went out alone the next day. But he had a surprise for you. “You were worried about getting everything sorted in time, so I’ve called in reinforcements” he told you as he was leaving. You quirked an eyebrow. “Reinforcements?” “Lucy’s coming over later to help you out” he explained. It wasn’t the solution you’d been expecting, but it turned out to be a good one. With Lucy’s help you made surprisingly quick work of your to-do list, and by the time Joe got home the house was tastefully decorated and there was a small pile neatly wrapped presents under the tree. She even helped Tallulah bake and ice some Christmas biscuits for you all. Her reward was some time spent cooing over your sleepy newborns. “They’re beautiful, lovie!” All in all, everyone ended the day satisfied. 

Christmas Day was fairly peaceful in the end. You enjoyed a relaxing morning opening gifts at home ahead of Christmas dinner with Joe’s family. You and Joe had agreed not to go overboard on presents this year, knowing you’d have a lot of other things going on at Christmastime. But Joe did manage to sneak in a small surprise for you. “From Joey and Amber” he said, handing over one last parcel with a soft smile. You delicately undid the wrapping to uncover a framed copy of the picture Ben had taken of the five of you in hospital the day the twins were born. “Oh, it’s lovely!” you gushed, leaning over to hug Joe. “Thank you.” “Don’t thank me, they got it for you” he replied, grinning. You smiled. “You must have helped though.” “That I did” Joe agreed. “Well thank you for helping them” you told him, leaning in for a chaste kiss. “You’re the best.”

Joe’s family were very excited about meeting the twins, of course, but Tallulah had a lot of fun too, playing with her cousins and generally enjoying all the little treats of the day. You were glad to see her having fun; you’d been worried she might end up feeling a bit left out in all the fuss over her new siblings. She was very disappointed when you had to leave soon after the meal to get the babies home before their bedtime but she seemed happy enough to spend the rest of the evening watching movies and enjoying her presents.

Your family spent Boxing Day largely doing as little as possible. As always everyone was a bit flat after the excitement of Christmas Day. Except for Tallulah, who was very much looking forward to seeing Roger the next day. He arrived in the afternoon, and came to your house almost immediately to take Tallulah out for afternoon tea. You could tell by the way she was beaming when they returned that she had enjoyed the individual attention. Her expression seemed to highlight her resemblance to her father. Roger was slightly startled when he noticed. “Gosh, I’d never realised how much she takes after me.” “She looks more like you every day lately” you told him. “She’s grown up so much since I saw her last” Roger mused. “Well she is a big sister now” you pointed out. He smiled. “Ah yes. How’s she going with that, by the way?” “Very well, actually” you replied. “I was expecting her to be a bit jealous, but so far she just adores the twins. She loves holding them. Even got them Christmas presents.” Roger smiled with pride. “Well that’s good to hear. Hopefully the adoration continues.” You weren’t convinced it would but you still smiled. “Yeah, hopefully.” 

Roger had booked into a hotel, but he still stayed at your house until well past dinnertime every day of his visit. Tallulah was clearly very appreciative of the time with her father, even if she didn’t say it out loud. The days of Roger’s trip sped by, and suddenly it was New Year’s Eve, again. The day held many happy memories for you, but this year was going to be very different. Joe had called off his traditional party, knowing none of you had the energy for a late night. Instead, you were having a sort of open house afternoon to give all your friends an opportunity to meet Joey and Amber at a time that was easy for your family. Adjusting to looking after twin newborns was exhausting enough without trying to find the energy to organise visits every other day. Of course a few of your close friends had dropped in already, but they were a select group amongst your wider acquaintance.

You were amazed at just how many people showed up to meet the twins and have some lunch with you. Even Gwilym made an appearance. “Surprise!” he declared, grinning widely. “I had some time off, and I’ve been dying to see you all, so here I am.” He was amazed when he got his first glimpse of the twins. “Christ, I thought Ben was exaggerating when he told me how tiny they were.” “Would you believe they’ve already grown since Ben saw them?” Joe asked, beaming with pride. To be fair, they did still look ridiculously small in Gwilym’s arms. “They’re not that tiny now, are they?” Joe asked you in an undertone, as you both watched Gwilym enjoying his first cuddles. You smiled reassuringly. “They’re still a bit on the small side. But Gwil is also a bloody tree of a man, he’s making them look even smaller.” Joe laughed at that. 

Gwilym stayed all afternoon, helping here and there and generally enjoying some rare time with Joe. His relaxed mood seemed to have spread throughout your house that day, though the energy lifted considerably when Rami and Lucy finally arrived. Naturally Gwilym was thrilled to see them both, and they spent a long time lounging on your couches catching up. People gradually started to leave as the afternoon wore on, and eventually they were the only guests left other than Roger. Lucy smiled when she noticed this.

“Now that we’re alone, lovies, we’ve got something for you” she declared. Rami gently handed over a bulging gift bag. “Christmas presents. From all of us” he said softly. You started to protest but he waved it away. “Just open them. There’s something for all of you in there.” Indeed there was. The bag held a number of packages, each containing part of a matching set of red baseball shirts, made to look like the D-backs uniform from Undrafted. Yours and Tallulah’s had your surname on the back; the others were labelled Mazzello. Two of these were very small, although closer to toddler than newborn size. Rami looked apologetic. “That was the smallest we could get.” “Rami, they’re perfect” you reassured him. “They really are” Joe chimed in, sounding rather emotional. “Thanks man.” Lucy smiled. “I told him the important thing was that they matched.” You glanced at Joe, wondering why he was so incredibly touched by the gift. “You’re all on my team” he explained, before you could even open your mouth to speak. “You’re my family, even if you don’t all have my name, you’re all mine.” You smiled. “Honey, of course we’re yours. We’re your team.”    

You were still cuddling Joe when Roger suddenly appeared next to you carrying a couple of parcels. “I brought you a little something too” he said sheepishly. “The top one’s from Brian, by the way.” Joe looked surprised. “Brian sent us a baby gift?” Roger smiled. “Of course. That’s what friends do, you know.” Brian had given the twins a stuffed badger and a fluffy hedgehog. “Just a little reminder of their roots” the card said. You and Joe both laughed. “Brian and his hedgehogs. Typical.” Roger’s parcel contained a pair of onesies. One had a photo of John Deacon printed on the front, while the other featured Freddie Mercury. “I heard her middle name and I just couldn’t resist” he said, grinning mischievously. Joe grinned back. “Thanks Roger, they’re perfect.”

Midnight on New Year’s Eve. In years past you’d enjoyed the ritual of sitting up to watch the fireworks, or going out somewhere in search of a New Year’s kiss. This year, though, all you really wanted was to get some sleep. But of course the twins had other ideas. In the end, midnight found you and Joe sat together on the rocking chair, each soothing a baby back to sleep. Joe’s loving gaze suddenly shifted from his children to you. "Thank you" he said softly. "For what?" you asked. "I always wanted a wife, and kids, but before I met you I was starting to wonder if it would ever happen for me" he explained. "And now you've given me both in a single year." "I suppose I have" you mused. "So, thank you. For giving me everything I've dreamed of" Joe said, kissing you gently. "I love you so, so much." You smiled back. "I love you too, babe." You were both quiet as you tenderly set the twins back in their cribs. “It’s been a good year, hasn’t it?” you mused, as you and Joe returned to your bedroom. “It’s gonna be a hard one to top” Joe agreed. “It’s been magnificent.” And the best part was, it was only the beginning.

*******************************************************************************************

A/N 2: This is really the end for these guys now, and I’m a little bit sad about that. I’ve got one Tallulah oneshot I want to finish (there’s lots of Freddie in it, it’s a lot of fun) and then I’m going to take a break from this universe (for now anyway) and work on my ‘possible Freddie Mercury descendant’ story. At this point I’m planning on keeping it as a oneshot, but I’ll see how I go. Hopefully it doesn’t take as long as this one did!

Taglist: (send me an ask or dm if you want to be taken off) 

@wandering-at-midnight @fruityfreddie @trumanjo @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @itsametaphorbriansblog @theedwardscollection @bookish-oreo @simplyvictoria-93 @kotoamor @j1224 @closertothesunwhenimwithyou @florenceivy @jennyggggrrr 

(line through means the tag didn’t work)

[natasha-cole]

Perfectly Imperfect Part 4

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Chapter Summary: Even though things aren’t happening as they should, Reader learns the hard way that even defective soulmates are still soulmates.

Warnings: slight angst, some fluff?

Word Count: 2200

Square filled: Soulmate AU

Notes: Written for @spnfluffbingo

It’s been a long time, friends. Here you go. Please accept this chapter as an apology for not writing as often as I used to.

Also, I am basically taking every single soulmate AU trope and writing it into this series. Enjoy the corny fluff!

Catch Up: Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Reader’s POV

“Where are my manners?” Rich asked after Kim had left. “All this serious talk and I still don’t even know your name.”

“Oh, I’m Y/N,” you replied. You held your hand out to him, expecting him to shake it so that you could formally meet.

He made the movement to take your hand, but stopped short and turned his face up in confusion.

“You sure that’s a good idea? I wouldn’t want to accidentally connect with you,” he said jokingly.

You chuckled at his comment, aware that the situation was weird enough to warrant a joke. Rob on the other hand, didn’t seem amused. While you were busy accepting the joke, Rob had stepped quickly in between you and Rich, face turning red as he seemed to be suddenly upset by Rich’s comment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rob said through gritted teeth.

“It was just a joke,” Rich replied, holding his hands up as if he meant to protect himself from his friend. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

In an instant, Rob stepped back, visibly trying to calm himself.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I don’t know why I got so possessive.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you replied. “That’s a good thing.”

“Yeah,” Rich added. “That’s a normal reaction considering you just found your person. That protective, possessive feeling is going to be really strong for a while. Well, maybe. I guess we really don’t know with you two.”

“That makes me feel a lot better, to be honest,” Rob said with a small smile. It was then that he reached over to take your hand in his. The small movement made your heart rate pick up and you definitely felt butterflies just by having him touch you. At this point though, you didn’t know if those feelings had anything to do with the connection or if it was just nerves.

“Yeah, me too,” you replied.

You and Rob shared a brief moment, looking at each other until it all began to feel awkward again. There was definitely something there between you, and you desperately wanted it to just be perfect; but, all you could do at this point was wait to see if Kim could come up with anything else on the topic.

“Well, let’s see about finding someone to get you back to the hotel,” Rich said, forcing you and Rob from your moment together.

“Why?” Rob asked. “I’ve still got work to do today.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve just found your soulmate, so you get a pass on the rest of the weekend.”

“I can’t do that. I’ve got panels, photo ops… the concert.”

“I get it, but maybe you don’t understand how serious this is. Finding her… Rob, this is an important day. You’ve got to take some time for the two of you to just be together.”

“I mean, she’s here at the con anyway. We’ll still be together even if I’m working.”

Rich looked at his friend in confusion.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Fine.”

“Do you really not suddenly feel the need to just be with her? Like, there’s not a part of you that just knows you should take some time for you to be alone with her?”

“Well, uh… no?” He replied, looking unsure as to whether that was the right answer. “I want her around, sure. But, come on, I barely know her.”

“This is a lot more serious than I thought,” Rich muttered. He ran a hand across his beard, looking concerned as he studied both of you.

“What?” Rob asked.

“The rest of the process,” you said softly. “We’re supposed to…”

“I know,” Rob cut you off. “I know what the process it.”

“There’s just… a certain way things are supposed to happen,” Rich explained.

“Believe me, I know,” Rob said in frustration. “All my life I’ve heard about how this was supposed to happen. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen that way. Not for us. So, please forgive me if I don’t feel the sudden urge to jump into bed with a woman I hardly know.”

You stared at the floor as Rob spoke, feeling just as frustrated by the whole thing as he did.

Your entire life you had dreamed about this moment. Finding your soulmate was supposed to be perfect. You were supposed to fall in love immediately, you were supposed to just know that your person was the one that you would be with forever. Right now though, you knew that it wasn’t going to be that easy for you.

You felt the same way that he did. You were drawn to him. But, you also felt uncomfortable by the entire thing. You didn’t know him. You didn’t have that feeling that was supposed to be there. You were just grateful that he was able to say these things out loud that you had been thinking all along.

“Look, I just worry that, by not following the usual protocol, this whole thing could get worse,” Rich said.

“How could it get worse?” You cut in.

“I don’t know,” Rich breathed out. “We just don’t know anything about this. What if this connection breaks completely because neither of you are even trying to make it happen?”

“Rich, I stand firmly on what I said. Look at her,” Rob said, gesturing toward you. “She’s already nervous, as am I. I want this to happen. I’ve always wanted this. It just… didn’t happen the way it should have. So, I’m not going to force either of us into anything.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Please stop,” Rob sighed. “Y/N and I will figure this out. But for now, I think we just need to work on getting to know each other first.”

“You should already know each other,” Rich replied. “That’s the whole point of soulmates. Fate does the work for you.”

“Yeah well, fate kinda failed us, didn’t it?” Rob asked bitterly.

Rich nodded, turning his lips up into a forced smile.

“You’re right. You two sort of got screwed here.”

“I’m not denying that there’s something here,” Rob continued. He turned to glance at you, making eye contact with you briefly. “I feel it, I do. But, I also get the feeling that we’re going to have to take things a bit slower.”

You smiled at him, still thankful that he was saying exactly what you were thinking. Maybe the connection between the two of you wasn’t as weak as you had thought. You both seemed to be on the same page about how to handle this at least.

“Okay,” Rich said finally. “I can’t say that I know anything about what this is. Hell, I don’t think anyone knows what this is. But, I trust that the two of you are well on your way to figuring it out.”

“We are,” you said. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”

“I’m gonna finish the weekend,” Rob explained to you. “It’s probably best if you stay around. Obviously you’re welcome to hang out here.”

You nodded your understanding, knowing that there was no way you were going back to being just another fan enjoying the con. Not only had all those people seen what had happened between you and Rob, but you had a basic understanding of how the rest of the connection was supposed to go. Even if you knew that this particular situation was anything but normal, you still wanted to try to treat it as if it were.

“Dude, you can't-" Rich started, almost trying to stop Rob from walking away from you.

“What?”

“You know what? Never mind.”

“No. Say what you were gonna say.”

“Nope. I just realized that this could be good for my notes.”

“Really? You're actually going to take notes?”

“For science,” he grinned.

You hadn’t been in the green room for more than ten minutes when the sudden wave of sickness washed over you. It was unexpected in a way, and immediately overwhelming.

You tried to breathe through the dizziness and twisting of your stomach, sort of panicked that this had come on so suddenly and you had no idea why. You found that steadying your breathing helped a bit, or at least made the feelings tolerable briefly.

You weren’t sure why, but all you wanted was Rob right now. You assumed that feeling had a lot to do with the connection, and you felt a bit better knowing that you at least missed him even if you were somewhat indifferent toward him.

Others came and went as you sat there. Some introduced themselves to you, others mostly stared at you as if you were an oddity. You understood of course. Everyone knew by now what had happened, and the fact that you and Rob weren’t away and going through the expected steps of this entire thing was concerning for everyone.

Just as you had closed your eyes to focus on getting through a wave of nausea, you felt the couch shift beneath you as someone sat next to you. You opened your eyes and glanced toward the person, recognizing her as Briana.

She smiled sweetly at you and you forced a smile back.

“You don’t look so good,” Briana said.

“I don’t feel so good,” you admitted.

“You know why, right?”

You shook your head, too tired to even talk at this point. Your careful breathing didn’t seem to be working anymore in holding back the sickness, and now you just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

“Look, I get that you and Rob have each been alone for a really long time,” she began. “This whole soulmate thing doesn’t normally happen this late in life. But, do you really not have a basic understanding of what this whole thing entails?”

“After a while of not finding your person, you sort of forget,” you said quietly.

“Okay,” she chuckled, “I’ll get to the point. You’re not supposed to be away from your soulmate so soon after finding them. Separation this early causes all sorts of problems.”

“Yeah, I knew that. I just figured that since this is all a little unconventional, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Well, this is a good thing,” she said with a smile as she sat next to you. “I heard about the uh, uniqueness of the situation. So, it’s really good that you’re feeling this way while he’s working.”

“I just- assumed we wouldn’t have to worry about these things.”

“Even though this is… unique, I might suggest that the two of you just treat it normally. And maybe it’s a good idea to go find him. Might make you feel better.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “But, I can wait. I don’t want to bother him while he’s working.”

“I wonder how he’s feeling,” she mused.

“Hopefully not as bad as I feel. I couldn’t imagine having to work while feeling like this.”

As the thought left your lips, you heard a door open. You looked up to see Rob enter the room, Rich right behind him.

“Well,” Briana began. “I think it’s safe to say you’re both feeling the effects.”

You understood what she meant. As Rob approached you, you noted that he looked awful. The color had drained from his face, dark circles had appeared suddenly around his eyes, and he trudged toward you as if he had no strength left in his body.

You wondered if you looked that bad.

“Are you okay?” You asked, when he finally reached you.

“No,” he replied. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head in response.

“How are we both sick?” He asked. “And all of the sudden?”

He plopped down next to you on the couch, looking miserable.

“Are you both stupid on purpose?” Rich cut in.

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t be away from each other the day you literally found each other. That’s why you’re sick, you idiots.”

“I thought that was a myth,” Rob replied.

“It’s not a myth. It’s fact. It’s probably even worse for you two considering that your connection isn’t exactly normal to begin with.”

“I know,” you groaned. “I knew this could happen, I just didn’t think it would happen to us.”

“Even now, you’re still not feeling well?” Rich asked as he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“I feel terrible,” you mumbled.

In an attempt to comfort you, Rob reached out to you finally. He cautiously wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to his body.

You immediately relaxed. The moment that he made contact with you, the sickness seemed to wash away. You glanced over to him, noting that he also seemed to be feeling better. The color had returned to his skin and he gave you a smile as you both felt the miserable feeling leave your bodies.

“Is everything okay?”

You heard Rich’s voice after a while. It broke you from your daze, and you realized that you and Rob had been sitting there for some time, just staring into each other’s eyes. He hadn’t let go of you, and you breathed a sigh of relief that at least this had happened normally.

“Yeah,” Rob answered him, not even breaking eye contact with you as he spoke. “We’re good. We’re really good.”

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[ayearofpike]

The Grave

Pocket Books, 1999 194 pages, 16 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-55077-2 LOC: CPB Box no. 1856 vol. 22 OCLC: 42262026 Released September 1, 1999 (per B&N)

Keri Weir has a rough life: her boyfriend bores her, her sister is dead of cancer, her dad has abandoned her to start a new family, her mom is addicted to cocaine and is slowly selling everything they own to get a new fix. That doesn’t mean, though, that she wants it to end. But when she meets a mysterious man at her workplace, and feels inexplicably drawn to him, that’s what happens. But the end itself is a new beginning, one that threatens to never end.

And so we come to the end of Christopher Pike’s output under the imprint of Archway Paperbacks, a solid 11-year run whose end was inevitable thanks to the increasing stature and importance of teen and YA literature. If you weren’t there, it’s really hard to understand what the climate was like, how books for young people were seen as less — less important, less prestigious, less work to read and write. Likewise, it’s kind of hard to overstate the importance of Harry Potter, what it did for not just the readers it aimed at but the whole genre of juvenile literature. Prisoner of Azkaban came out one week after this book in the US, which I remember as being the flash point for interest in the boy wizard over here. After that, nobody was going to underestimate the selling power of a kid’s book, and nobody was going to accept an underdeveloped story that stood alone and didn’t (or couldn’t) promise resolution over a series.

It seems like Pike saw the writing on the wall here. He’s talked a little bit about the market changing around him and not being able to catch it. We saw a lot of the crap we were pushed fall off around the same time; a whole bunch of the series I’d mentioned before became too fluffy or lightweight for the new generation of teen book-purchasers. Longer stories became de rigueur, as publishers saw the willingness of kids to push through four hundred pages of the third story out of seven in order to find out how that poor kid with the lightning scar was going to figure himself out and avenge his parents.

It’s not like Pike didn’t have the chops to write a longer book; his four adult novels illustrate how he can dive in more depth into a concept and really flesh it out. (OK, two of them do.) And it’s not like he didn’t have material to expand upon and really explain — if anything, I feel like I’ve been complaining that he doesn’t unpack ENOUGH here at the end. And maybe that’s the real problem. Christopher Pike rose to fame in a climate where it was OK and expected to not give up all your information and secrets, to not explore a thread that didn’t speak to a highly-focused theme, and above all else to keep your page count down. Adapting to the new model of kidlit would take him some time.

This book is no exception. It starts with a strong and promising presence, reaches a conflict point that explains and engages, and then ... just sorta falls off with no real resolution, or at least not a satisfying one, maybe with a mandate to get out of the book before page 200. It opens another door right at the end, one that would have been OK to leave hanging ten years before maybe, but which now is unsatisfying and frustrating to readers who are expecting to know where that door leads. And maybe there are some other problems with construction, but let’s get into the recap before we talk too much about that.

We start not with Keri, but with Ted Lovett, a college freshman who has fallen for a young woman at HIS work site. She is mysteriously charming and bewitching, and when Ted asks to see her again she promises to call. And she does, holy crap. But her calls are scattered and sporadic, and even though Ted isn’t sure whether he wants this kind of a relationship he finds he can’t stay away. The last call leads to a hike into the forest, where suddenly he is beset on all sides by monstrously strong humans and buried alive in what appears to be a Satanic ritual. He feels a prick in the back, pleads with a morose but determined beauty, and then smothers in a shallow grave.

Keri doesn’t know any of this. She doesn’t know Ted, even. All she knows is she’s stuck in a dead-end with no way to turn around or back out of it. That is, until she meets Oscar, a sensitive and quiet man who has some undefinable quality that draws her to him. He’s certainly a lot more interesting than her doofy boyfriend, who comes across as the worst kind of clingy shithead. We understand this through his behavior as much as we do because Keri wants to shake free of him. It helps that the next night after work she sees Oscar again and asks to go to his apartment to see his paintings. Like, leading up to much? Of course they have sex, and of course Keri’s boyfriend is waiting outside her apartment when she gets home, and of course he’s all whiny and shitty about it.

But then they find Keri’s mom inside, barely breathing after an overdose, and they rush her to the hospital. Once in the waiting room, Keri passes out from the exhaustion of not only having to take care of her addict mother but also from doin’ it all night. She has a dream about a beautiful garden full of happy people, and of journeying from it to a cave full of smoke, where a figure shrouded in shadow asks if he should come. This part was super confusing, because it’s literally a page of one-sentence back-and-forth unattributed quotes, and you almost have to mark it with a pencil to keep track of who’s saying what. But ultimately Keri says yes, and then immediately wakes from her dream to learn that her mother is stable and her relationship is over. Well, OK, she and the now-ex talk about it and agree that they need to be done. Which she should have said before, considering how long she’s felt that way, but I get it. (I’ve had my own relationships that dragged on longer than they should have out of obligation, on both our parts.)

So obviously Keri isn’t going to work today, but she does arrange to meet Oscar for a late dinner and maybe some more shpdoinkling. On her way to the car, though, she’s suddenly waylaid by a strong person who chloroforms her and drags her off. She’s aware enough to realize when she gets shot with a syringe in the butt, and fully awake by the time she’s carried from the vehicle she’s in and deposited in a grocery store freezer. She manages to break her bonds, but there’s no fail-safe to escape the freezer — even Pike’s favorite emergency ax has been removed from its hooks. So she feels her body freeze, go numb, and then inexplicably feel warmer as she blacks out for the last time.

And now she’s in her sister’s bedroom, back in the before times, when Sis was alive and Dad was around and Mom was coherent. This part is one of the times when I wish we’d gotten more. We learn that Keri has more or less completely blocked out any memory of her sister’s death, and won’t talk about it to anyone. Her sister tells her that she needs to come to grips with reality, that her death has led to so many of the problems and if Keri will just understand and accept this tragic end it could help her. Only maybe not now, because she’s in a weird place where she’s neither dead nor alive and is going to have to face the coming of the shadowed person. And then Keri wakes up, and we almost never talk about her sister again. Like, what was the purpose of this dream sequence? We just needed someone dead who could explain it to her? Shouldn’t the sister play a bigger part in post-death? I was dissatisfied, much like with the mom, who we’ll get back to.

But yeah, Keri wakes up, and she knows it’s cold but it doesn’t bother her, and she knows it’s dark but she can still see quite well (except suddenly without color), and she knows she’s locked in a freezer but a couple of stiff kicks get her out the door. She also knows she’s hungry, and she eats more food than she would have even been able to look at before she went in the freezer. What’s most disconcerting to her, maybe, is the fact that she doesn’t really FEEL anything about these changes. She accepts that she’s changed, that she should have died and didn’t and is now insatiable and powerful, but she’s not bothered by that — which is the thing that bothers her most.

She leaves the market and, after a run-in with a gang where she totally ruins the leader by kneeing him in the crotch up to his sternum, starts to go to Oscar’s house. Only, wait: Oscar was the only person who could have known she was leaving her place when she did, and he exhibits some of the same things she’s feeling now (colorblind, need to eat, unexpected strength). So maybe don’t seek out the person who made some weird manipulation that cheated your death, but then tried to kill you. Instead she goes home and calls her ex and talks about her concerns about Oscar, staying vague but still ominous and foreboding. She can’t sleep anymore either, so she basically eats all night and into the morning before she goes to see her mom. Mom notices a frightened, frail stance that Keri is taking (trust an addict, I guess), but she also wants to talk about a dream she had where they were all watching Sis pack for some kind of a trip. Keri apologizes for her distance, but then she leaves again right away, after determining that Mom can get home safely after being discharged. And this is the last time we see Mom too. Which I’m kinda OK with, because at least we get a picture of her being on the road to recovery, which allows us to imagine she turns out all right ... but wasn’t it the death of her first daughter that made her spiral to begin with? What’s going to happen now that she never sees her second one again? 

But Keri has suddenly realized why Oscar looks so familiar, never mind that this was not foreshadowed or alluded to ANYWHERE in this novel. He’s a dead kid who disappeared last year, who had his picture in the paper next to a tragic article. A dead kid named Ted Lovett. And like, you saw this coming; we had enough foreshadowing that Ted was dead but back somehow. I’m OK with that. What I’m not sold on is Keri going to talk to Ted’s mom. Like, why? She doesn’t know he’s alive; if she did, wouldn’t that have also made news? But she does it, because I guess Pike just can’t leave the parents of dead kids alone, and then she goes to Oscar’s place because what the fuck else is there to do when you’re colorblind and hungry and strong and out of options?

Oscar’s not alone. There’s a scientist there, who explains that Keri’s condition is a clever manipulation of her DNA to prevent the body from being able to die unless it is completely destroyed. He created the compound to try to save his daughter, who was succumbing to leukemia ... only she went bad. In fact, she swiped the formula and turned a whole bunch of others, including her brother. The secret, it seemed, was to enhance the dying person’s fear, which would then manifest in cold brutality once they awakened from death. It didn’t work on Ted Oscar, for reasons not sufficiently explained, and now he and the scientist are trying to figure out how to stop the monstrosity that is these other monsters. They have help: an inexplicable vision of a shadowed man, who has indicated that they should impregnate a virile young woman and then turn her so that she brings him into the world.

That’s right: Keri is vampire-zombie-monster pregnant. And the baby she carries will determine the fate of the world.

The bad guys want the baby too, of course. All of a sudden they’re at the door, holding Keri’s ex hostage. Seems they followed her from Ted’s mom’s house. No one has to get hurt, the bewitching beauty daughter says, if they willingly go downstairs and get in the van. Obviously Oscar and the scientist aren’t gonna willingly anything, and Keri wants to get her ex out of harm’s way. Too late she dives after BBD, who calmly and effortlessly rips her ex’s arm off. There’s a monster of a shootout, and our good guys manage to escape (not the ex, who bleeds to death in seconds), only to find once they’re out on the ocean in Oscar’s boat that the bad guys have a helicopter and a flamethrower. So they have to bail as the boat goes up, and sure they have super strength and stamina but Keri can’t outswim a power boat, which is what BBD pulls up in, informing her that she has no choice but to be a prisoner.

They caught Oscar too, and drive the both of them to an abandoned military facility in a mountain somewhere. Their cell is a nice one, as far as cells go, but unescapable: the bars are too strong to break, and the back is raw rock that goes deeper into the mountain. They won’t be able to dig their way out before the baby comes, which thanks to Keri’s enhanced biology should take about a week. After that, the bad guys figure, they’ll just undo Mom and Dad and be able to use this baby for their own nefarious ends.

Of course it’s more complicated than that. BBD still has feelings for Oscar ... it seems that something about the undeath process might make us more susceptible to finding a soulmate or falling in love with a person. At least that’s what I feel like we’re supposed to understand, given Keri’s inexplicable and instantaneous affinity for Oscar; this is one more thing Pike doesn’t go into. Just like the brother, who is a total cocknugget but only really shows up at the birth, so he can menace the couple and torment the doctor before killing him. Seriously: we constantly hear about this dude and what an evil monster he is, but he’s only actually in the book for seven pages. Still, he acknowledges that our other prisoner needs to live, too, as the mother will be critical to feeding the baby while he matures.

And he also does this fast. In twenty days he gains twenty years, reads the entire Internet, and gets crops to grow in their underground cell. Shades of Last Vampire 4, a little bit. BBD tries to get him to explain his goals and doings to her, but he flat-out refuses. In fact, the only person he’ll try to explain anything to is his mom. She asks if he will draw a picture of how he might represent himself before he was born, and it’s ... caprine. Horns, a tail, cloven hooves. And now Keri is all, oh shit, I invited the actual DEVIL into my uterus. But the boy advises her: don’t panic.

So now they’ve been in this facility a month, and all of a sudden there’s sounds of scuffle. It seems that the scientist managed to get away clean, and has given up just enough info to the government that they managed to track these monster fighters to this facility and are now cleaning it out with firebombs. Luckily for our heroes, Oscar has dug up to a boulder that he’s pretty sure is the last blockade between their cell and an underground river. They can’t move it, though, before everyone comes pouring into the holding facility: BBD and Cocknugget with guns, Scientist with an obvious bomb, and then the military. But what if we ask the devil? So he moves the rock without any problem, just behind an explosion and expansion of fire, creating a swirl of water and a gush of ashes and a battering of rocks that leaves Keri unconscious.

She comes to in a beautiful garden, like the one in her dream. Oscar and their son are there too, so obviously they’re dead and in heaven, right? No, idiot, they can’t die, remember? And the son has decided he’s going to say in this nowhere and be one with nature, and that his parents have to go on without him. Keri doesn’t want to, but Oscar thinks they have to, and he has a rationale: he’s pretty sure that their son is not Satan, but instead is Pan, the ancient god of the wild. They both have goat legs and horns, after all, and look at how good this kid has been at making plants grow no matter the lack of water or sunlight. This doesn’t go any farther either, and I need more, specifically: how the shit does tampering with human genes equal giving birth to another fuckin’ Percy Jackson character? We never get to find out. Keri and Oscar leave, they run into BBD (who also somehow made it out alive), they tell her to fuck off, and then they keep walking, and the book ends.

So if you’re keeping count, that’s at least five people whose stories have not been satisfactorily explored in this novel, which pulls up well short of half of the page count that Harry Potter would get to lose a rat. If we’re looking for an inability or unwillingness to expand and explore both the narrative and the changing state of YA, this is it right here. Just like Pike’s career, it fizzles out unresolved and without warning. Couldn’t he have spent just a little more time on some backstory or character building, to explain just why these douche-monsters were so horrible but Oscar was good? Was there no chance at all of explaining the connection between technology and nature that would explore just how and why Pan reincarnated in the womb of a half-dead high school senior? What happened to Keri’s family that it fell apart so hard and was predisposed to forget about a dead sister through running from her? Is it any wonder that The Grave was his last book for four years?

[coolbeansmarvel-blog]

Smartass

Summary: You’re a pretty calculated person, that is until you meet the infamous Winter Soldier, who makes you lose your cool each time you see him. 

Word Count: 2271

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: language, because I have a potty mouth.

A/N: So this is my first time posting any of my crap here, which is why I’m a lil bit scared! I wrote this months ago, it’s one of my first pieces, so please excuse any typos/ grammar mistakes/ mistakes in general (English is not my first language). Feedback is very welcomed! I hope you enjoy! 

(gif is not mine)

Landing a job at Stark Labs was a dream come true. You had never even hoped for it to happen, but here you were, Chef of Engineering Section, with your own lab, a place to live in the Avengers Compound and most importantly, a space and tools to grow as an scientist.

You loved your job. Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Astronomy and Engineering- all of your favourite aspects of science combined into one position in one of the best labs in the world. It was like buying a mystery Mentos pack filled with all of your favourite flavors in it. You could swore that life was literally treating you all too well, which meant that soon enough it should all go to hell. Oh, how right you were.

The day you met the one and only, the infamous James Buchanan Barnes was the day when everything started to go to shit. And that was a very mild description of what was happening. You didn’t even know how you, a very calculated person, started turning into a hot mess every time this big bulk of muscles in a shape and form of Bucky Barnes was around you. But it was happening way too often and it had to stop.

“God dammit, god fucking dammit!” you muttered under your breath when you tried for the billionth of time to modify Tony’s suit. “You fucking piece of shit, little ball of fucking wires that are too fucking dumb to fucking work with me for fuck’s sake!”

“Language” Steve chuckled as he entered your lab.

“Don’t you fucking… Jesus, Captain, I’m so sorry…” you stood up, immediately starting to apologize for your dirty mouth. If you could point out one thing that you would love to change about yourself it would most definitely be your vocabulary. Keeping your cursing at bay when you were mad wasn’t exactly your forte.

“It’s Steve, Y/N, you should know that by now” he told you with a smile. “So I guess you have problems with fixing something?”

“Kinda. It’s just that Tony asked me to modify his suit, but this dumbass forgot to get me the right wires to increase durability of the system, so I have to work with what I got which is, well, nothing, so I’m pissed as hell, I mean, I’m just angry, because how am I supposed to work if I can’t?” you ranted, looking around for your screwdriver.

“So I guess it’s a wrong time to ask you for a favor?”

“Depends. What’s the deal? Something’s wrong with the shield?” you looked at him concerned. You fixed it 2 days before, what could possibly be damaged again?

“No, everything’s fine with me, but I think Bucky needs a checkup. His arm’s been weird lately, you know? I think he messed something up right after you fixed it after the mission and he doesn’t want to admit it.”

That stopped you in your tracks. Every checkup you had to do on Bucky was a dreadful experience for you in general, mostly because you had to remain professional while your brain was all over the place. Any additional meeting with the soldier was an unnecessary show of your clumsiness and very bad acting as you tried to hide your affection for the man. Steve couldn’t be serious.

“Oh” was all you managed to say.

“Yeah, I know, you’re overworked anyway, but it’s probably nothing and it won’t take long, I promise. Please, Y/N?” Rogers looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Y-yeah, sure, bring him in” you stuttered as you turned around from him pretending to be searching for something, while actually trying to hide the redness of your cheeks.

“Great, you’re seriously the best!” he exclaimed happily. “I’ll tell him, you were the one to ask for the checkup, so he won’t feel bad about it, okay?”

“Uh, um, I guess?”

“Fantastic! He’ll be here in a few, I hope” he winked at you and left you all alone again.

“The lord is testing me” you muttered as you fell onto your chair and started fixing the suit again.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ARE YOU EVEN UP THERE?!” you yelled as once again your attempt at modifying Tony’s suit turned into a failure. You’ve had enough; another try at it proved that you can’t make something so specific out of nothing.

Bucky chuckled at himself as he stood by the door frame, watching you. You were quite adorable when you were mad.

“You alright there?” he asked you with a smug smile, which made you froze. “I don’t want to interrupt your rant, but Steve told me you wanted to see me.”

“He did?” you felt your cheeks redden with embarrassment, Bucky’s presence making you forget all about your previous conversation with Rogers.

“For a checkup” Barnes clarified.

“Oh, alright” you let out a huge sigh. “Um, have a seat.”

You gathered all of your stuff in silence, trying to make yourself look like you knew what you were doing. Bucky silently looked around your messy lab, focusing on anything apart from you. To say that you made his heart race was an understatement. He was head over heels in love with you, yet you seem to never be interested in even talking to him. Each time he would come for a checkup, he felt like you never wanted him around you, which made his little heart ache every time.

“You don’t clean here much often, do you?” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I didn’t have the time, sorry” you sheepishly apologized, hiding your yet again blossoming blush.

“It was a joke, Y/N. It’s your lab. Why would I care how it looks like?”

“Right” you face palmed yourself in your thoughts. “Shall we get started?”

“Go for it.”

You took a seat on a small stool that you always sat on when you did the checkup and carefully removed pieces of metal covering main electronics of Bucky’s arm. In a complete silence, you started testing the wires and checking the whole system until you found an error that Steve was concerned about.

“There you are” you said to yourself as you detected the damage and started fixing it by replacing a small metal strip.

After few finishing touches, you were done with the arm. You hadn’t even noticed that the whole time you had worked in silence, with furrowed brows and droplets of sweat covering your forehead, Bucky couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. What a beautiful and smart creature, he sighed in his thoughts, taking your presence in.

“Done. Should be as good as new” you told him as you started to put all the equipment back into the box.

“Thanks Y/N, you’re the best” he said with a smile and looked at you. “You have an eyelash on your…” he tried to reach for your cheek to wipe the small piece of hair off of your face, but his touch was so unexpected, that it made you fall off of your stool in the most ungracious way possible. Within seconds, you were lying flat on your ass in front of your crush. So much for keeping it cool.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” he immediately squatted to you, trying to help you get up.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing” you told him with a full on tomato red splashed on your face. How could you be such a clumsy idiot?!

“Did you hit your head? Should I call for help?” he asked looking more concerned each second.

“No, just go Bucky, just… leave me alone” you said getting up and turning away from him. You didn’t even notice that it hurt him a little, but he did as you asked, not wanting to upset you even more.

You huffed in pain as you was left alone. God, you were such an idiot. No way, he was ever going to feel the same way you felt about him.

“Maybe you should just ask her out” Steve told Bucky for what he felt like a hundredth of time since Bucky had confessed his crush on you to him.

“No way, don’t you see? She hates me!” he exclaimed, hitting the punch bag hard.

Steve rolled his eyes at his friend. He was getting tired of all of this.

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“Yeah right, like you would know!”

“Then at least talk to her at the party tonight. It won’t hurt, right? If she won’t want to, then will figure it out” he told Barnes.

“Alright, but if she hates me even more after this, then you’re screwed” Bucky threatened him.  

“I know, I know” he sighed and the men continued to train.

“Hey kid” Natasha greeted you few hours after that fatal incident with Bucky. You were now in your room, watching Netflix while being wrapped like a burrito in multiple blankets.

“Hey mom” you replied, causing the redhead to roll her eyes.

“So” she started, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Are you going to a party tonight?”

In that moment you noticed she was all glammed up. “What party?”

“Have you ever left this cage or lab at all?” she asked you irritated.

“No” you simply replied.

“Tony is hosting a party tonight, in the tower. So wear something nice and go downstairs” she ordered.

“I don’t want to” you whined.

“Why?”

“I’m planning on not seeing Bucky for few months after my spectacular fail.”

“Y/N please, stop acting like a baby” she rolled her eyes.

“Why do you care?”

“Because” she looked at you irritated.

“That’s not an answer” you fixed your eyes on the screen.

“What happened between you and Barnes?” she changed the subject.

“I fell on the floor…”

“That’s not that bad” she said, shrugging.

“…because he tried to touch me” you finished, your face flushing once again.

“Where?!” her eyes widened at the vision of him trying to get into your panties.

“Not there!” you hit her with a pillow. “He tried to remove an eyelash from my cheek.”

“That’s adorable” she smiled.

“That’s fucking humiliating!” you huffed, rolling your eyes.

“Then get wasted trying to forget about it and your crush on him” she stood up. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“God I hate you” you muttered as you stood up and changed to go to the party in a decent state.

“I just think it’s kinda impossible, ya know? Like Asgard must be so much better than all of this lame ass shit on Earth” you slurred to Thor. After your non-stopping pleas, he put a little drop of his drink into your own and without a doubt, you had never been more wasted in your life.

“I’ll take you there one day, Lady Y/N” he smiled at your drunken state. “You’d love our astronomy tower.”

“Oh my God, you would show me it?! This is the best night of my life!” you exclaimed a little too loud with a little bit too much of hand gestures as you spilled your drink on your Star Wars shirt.

Bucky watched you from the distance, chuckling. You were too adorable. And beautiful. And perfect. And you really have to stop being so cringy, he ordered himself. He did find a bit of jealousy in him as Thor made you laugh more than he ever did. A race of thoughts ran through his head; did you like Thor? Was it because of his muscles? Or maybe you thought he was smarter than Bucky? Maybe he should dye his hair blond and try to braid it, maybe then you would like him?

“Y/N is so wasted” Nat interrupted his internal monologue when she and Steve approached Buck.

“She is” he replied, eyes glued to you.

“Go and talk to her” Steve ordered him, seeing his miserable state.            

“She is talking with Thor now.”

“Hey Thor, come here buddy!” Rogers yelled at the god and he left you alone, before saying his apologies.

“Not anymore, so move your ass over there” Nat gave a firm squeeze to his flesh arm.

“God, you annoy me both” he muttered and made his way to you, nervousness overtaking his body. “Hey Y/N, how are you?”

“Oh man, you look hella fine tonight!” you slurred, not realizing what exactly you were saying or more specifically, to who.

“Thanks” Bucky blushed a little. Was she serious?

“I mean, like damn, your ass looks great in those pants!” you winked at him. “Hey, do you have a girlfriend?”

“No, no I have not” he told you, being more and more curious. There is a chance!

“Well, I have a candidate” you exclaimed with a grin plastered across your face.

“Really?” he was hoping it was a little joke you planed and that maybe, maybe, you would tell him that you liked him too.

“Yeah, wanna know who I have on my brilliant mind, soldier?” you whispered.

“I do” he smiled at you.

“Natasha” you told him in the most conspiratorial tone.

His face fell at the sound of your words.

“Seriously, she told me. I mean, she didn’t but who wouldn’t want to be your girlfriend, right? You would be great together…” 

“Jesus Y/N, could you shut your goddamn mouth for one minute?” he told you before cupping your face and kissing you fiercely. At first you couldn’t react but after few seconds you started to reciprocate the kiss.

“I also have a candidate” he said as he pulled back, a new wave of confidence flowing through his body.

“Yeah? Who?” you mumbled, still in shock.

“You, you little smartass” he smiled before kissing you again.

[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you used a pair of ear/headphones? Last night.

Have you ever tried to count to infinity? I remember as a kid I’d try to see how high I could count, but I got bored quickly lol.

Do you like making mixed cds? I used to, yeah. With things like Spotify; though, there’s no need anymore.

Would you want to live forever if it meant being a tree? No?

What is the strangest thing you’ve put chocolate on? I don’t think it’s weird, but chocolate covered potato chips are delicious.

Could you earn a good living selling weed? I wouldn’t know.

How would you use a photographic memory? It would have been useful when I was in school.

What would you do tomorrow if you had $500? I’d put it towards my new laptop fund.

What body hair gets the most attention? The hair on my head.

What’s your favorite commercial? I don’t care for commercials.

Do you like pie? I like cookies and cream pie and banana creme. I don’t like fruit pies.

Do you appreciate dishwashers? Yeah.

If you could change someone else’s past, what would you change? Yikes, I wouldn’t. I’m playing this game called Life is Strange, and the main character has the ability to do that, but it’s the whole butterfly effect thing cause you can’t change something without changing everything else. The changes could be good or bad.

What’s the worst experience you don’t remember? The incident that paralyzed me. I was only 7 months old, so I have no memory of it.

Are your dreams usually cheerful? They’re just super random.

What’s your favorite color of eyeliner? Black.

How’s the weather where you are at? It’s finally starting to feel like fall.

Anything bad happen today? Nah.

Can you solve a Rubik’s Cube? I’ve never really tried. I give up fast.

What was the last thing that you microwaved? A microwave tv dinner thingy.

Did you have an easy-bake oven when you were little? Yes.

Have you ever seen a donkey? Yes.

Do you like sheep? Sure.

Do you like dogs? I love dogs.

Do you have one? I do.

Do you ever want to be married? Meh.

Do you take a lot of pictures? Of my puppy, haha.

Where is the boy you want most? Off somewhere not knowing I exist, ha.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? Here.

What is your current mood? Hungry and tired.

Where are you going tomorrow? I have a doctor appointment.

Who was the last person you yelled at? *shrug*

Do you think you’ll be a good Mother/Father? I don’t even know if I want kids.

The last thing you drank? Coke.

What’s in your pocket? Nothing.

What colour are your fingernails? Natural color.

Have you ever left school just because you didn’t want to be there? No.

Did anything cute happen today? My puppy is cute.

What are you currently hearing? The TV.

Are you afraid of the dark? Yes.

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings? Very rarely.

Do you have a common first name? I knew a few Stephanie’s growing up, but it seems less common now.

Do you like your middle name or your first name more? My first name.

What year would/did you turn 21? 2010.

What was popular when you were a kid? Barbies.

Do you wear more rings or necklaces? Neither.

Have you ever been engaged? Nope.

Can you see your veins through your skin? Yeah.

Do you worry about having good grammar online? Yes.

Do you know anyone with a lazy eye? No.

Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yep.

Would you rather live in an apartment or a duplex? I live in a duplex.

Do you like spicy chips? I loved spicy chips and spicy everything, but I can’t eat that stuff anymore due to health reasons. :/

Do you have any ‘different’ keychains on your keys/purse? Yeah.

Do you collect pins? No.

What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Nirvana.

Do you wear more pink or yellow? Neither.

Have you ever been out of the state you were born in? Yes.

Do you have any tattoos on your arms? I don’t have any tattoos at all.

Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? No.

When was the last time you felt jealous? I don’t know.

What’s the last thing you bought besides food/drink? Sweaters.

What album is the last song you listened to from? I forget what the last song I listened to was.

Who scheduled your last doctor visit? My mom still does that for me.

What’s the last video game you played? Life is Strange.

Do you have anything on your wrists right now? Nope.

Do you have any holiday theme’d socks? Yes.

What kind of accent do you have? Californian, I guess?

What’s the last funny movie you watched? Hmmm.

Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Yes, of course.

Is there anyone who you just absolutely cannot STAND being around? No.

What is the design on your shirt? It’s an old school Star Wars shirt.

Do you know anyone who just flat-out fails at life? Me?

Are you a Ghoulscout? No.

Do you know someone who’s just always wrong about everything? Kinda.

Do you make fun of people often? No.

Do you read your friend’s surveys? I read the answers to a few people on here that I follow.

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? I’ve been wanting to get free bird tattooed on my inner wrist, but I’m a wuss.

How do you feel about band tattoos? I don’t feel any kind of way about them.

How much are you willing to pay for a pair of sunglasses? I don’t wear sunglasses cause I wear glasses.

What is the origin of your last name? Irish.

Do you ever use the n-word? No.

What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Not into piercings anymore, but I used to like snakebites.

What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? I get my hair done at the salon.

What country do you live in? USA.

Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? I had to take the bus sometimes while in college.

Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken.

Are you any good at applying make up? I suck. I just keep it simple with eyeliner and mascara.

Do you misuse commas? I don’t believe so.

Have you ever bitten your dentist? No.

Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? I’m great at making everything difficult.

Who makes you laugh the most? My lil bro.

Do you have any plans for this weekend? Nope.

Do you crack your knuckles? Sometimes.

Coffee or Tea? Coffee.

Do you know anyone named Matt? Nope.

Wearing any bracelets? No.

When were you last outside? Uhhh.

Do you need someone to cheer you up right now? Meh.

Are your nails painted? Nope.

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? No.

Do you think you’d make a good parent? If I decide to be a parent someday I would like to think so, but as of now I don’t see myself having kids.

You start crying. Who do you want by your side? No one.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Yeah.

Did someone screw you over lately? No.

Would you ever get your hips pierced? No.

If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go? Um, YES.

Who was the first person you talked to today? My dad.

What’s your favorite musical? I have a few I like, but I don’t have a particular favorite.

How do you get to sleep? I get so tired that I pass out. ha.

What happened at the last party you went to? I hung out with some people. That’s about it.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? A mess.

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? Lying down.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? *shrug*

Are you an untidy person? No.

Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? Yep.

Do you watch a lot of television? It’s mostly on as background noise, but I do have my shows I watch.

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? No.

Do you like to flex your muscles? What muscles?

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery? No.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? Yeah. It happens.

Favorite kind of cake: Funfetti or white cake. Always with buttercream frosting.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last? Boy.

Name something you are doing tomorrow? I have a doctor appointment.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No.

Where are you going to be at 4:00 p.m. tomorrow? Probably still at my appointment because they take forever.

Are you missing someone? Yes.

Do you like horror or comedy? Comedy.

Who did you last share a taxi with? My friend.

Dogs or cats? Dogs.

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon? Sleeping.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? No.

What’s your favorite season? Why? Fall and winter.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? I don’t know.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? Yeah.

Who was the last person you hugged? My mom.

Do you think you would be a good parent? wtf lol i swear this survey has asked this three times? <<< Okay it’s not just me I was like wtf?? Enough with this.

When was the last time you cried? The other day.

Who was driving the last time you were in a car? My mom.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? Yes.

Do you like your bed? Yes.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? Just a bit ago.

How much cash do you have on you? I don’t have any on me.

Are you tanned? No.

Did you get any compliments today? I haven’t gone anywhere. Not that I would because I look like a mess.

Have you ever gone to court? No.

Do you get jealous easily? No.

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Nooooo.

What are you doing Saturday? Nothing. I should get my hair done, though.

What is in your back pocket? Nothing.

What were you doing at 3:00 a.m. this morning? Playing Life is Strange, current obsession.

What do you usually do first in the morning? Check the time.

Are you any good at math? Nope.

Any plans for Friday night? No.

Do you have a little crush on someone? Yes.

When’s the last time you ran?
 Uhhh.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? No.

What are you dreading right now? My appointment tomorrow.

Do you celebrate 420? No.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Yeah.

If anyone came to your house on your “lazy days” what would ya’ll do? Ha, everyday is my “lazy” day. I don’t like unexpected visits.

Who last grabbed your ass? Probably Joseph.

Have you ever been on your school’s track team? No.

Do you own a pair of Converse? Yep, a couple.

Did you copy and paste this survey? Well, yeah?

Do you eat raw cookie dough? I used to as a kid when I didn’t know about salmonella.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No.

Don’t you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? I don’t listen to the radio anymore, but yeah that was annoying.

Do you watch Trading Spaces? Nope.

How do you eat oreos? I twist ‘em and only eat the part with the creme and I dip it in coffee.

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? Yeah.

Are you cocky? No.

Could you live without a computer? I’d really rather not.

Do you wear your shoes in the house? No.

Who or what sleeps with you? I have stuffed animals on my bed.

At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I think about 8.

What do you do when you’re sad? I’m always sad, so I just go about my day and do what I do.

Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My mom.

Last time you saw your best friend? Last night. I slept in super late today and she already had left for work when I got up.

Are you in high school? Ha, no.

What jewelry are you wearing? None.

Is anyone on your bad side now? No.

What’s the first thing you do when you get online? Tumblr.

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? No.

Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? Sure.

Where do you work? I don’t.

What are you doing tomorrow? I’m answered this so many times.

Do you return your cart? My mom does.

Do you have a dishwasher? Yes.

What noise do you hear? The fan and my brother cooking.

Would you survive in prison? No.

Who is the youngest in your family? In my immediate family it’s my younger brother. In my extended it’s one of my 2nd cousins.

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely overpack? Me.

What’s the last thing you purchased? Food.

Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Yes.

What brand are your pants right now? *shrug*

Ever been to Georgia (the state)? I have, actually.

What irritates you most on the internet? Just some posts I see and comments made about certain things.

What brand is your digital camera? I use my phone for my camera.

Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? No.

Are you taking college classes right now? Nope.

Do you like sushi? No.

Do you get your hair cut every month? No. I haven’t had a haircut in like 2 years.

Do you go online everyday? Yep.

What makes someone a best friend? You just have a special connection.

[misssparklyprincess]

//Shy Shy Shy//

Word Count: 1581

Group: NCT 127/Dream

Member: Mark

Warnings: none

I haven't slept because off this so i really hope you guys like it. Requests are open and i’ll post an masterlist soon ( ＾▽＾)

“Yah Yah! Hyung!” Haechan kept pestering Mark during class.   “What is it?” Mark said looking up from his work. Haechan had a sly smirk on his face.   Just before Haechan wanted to speak, Y/N came walking in. The class turned their attention to the unexpected company. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but can I speak to you sir for a second?” The teacher nodded his head yes and gestured Y/N to wait outside. “Class I’ll be back In a moment, continue your work” the taecher walked away. “As I was saying” Haechan spoke again, but mark didn’t listen.   “How can she be so beautiful?” Mark mumbled, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. 

“Who? Y/N?” Haechan stared laughing really hard. He playfully hit Mark’s arm as he regained his breath.   “oh my god you’re so funny” wiping his fake tears away. “Whats so funny?” Mark asked confused, tapping the back of his friend that sat in front of him. Jeno turned around only to be greeted by a pouting Mark and a half dying Haechan.   “What’s up Hyung?” Jeno fully gave his attention to his hyung. “Is it weird that I have a crush on Y/N?” Mark said chewing on his bottom lip. Jeno gave him a confused look. Before he could say anything to reassure his hyung, Haechan had to interrupt. “Well yes, she is fat, she has a very strange laugh AND you’re way to shy to ask her out. So why like her?” Haechan said spinning his pencil but failing so hard. “Those are onacceptable reasons to ‘not’ like her, you didn’t even talk to her in the first place, maybe she is very nice person” Jeno said glaring at Haechan for crushing Mark’s heart. Even though he didn’t crush Mark’s heart, he was still hurt that his friend didn’t approve in having a liking towards you.

“CLASS IS DISMISSED” The teacher came back in yelling at the whole class, he gathered his things and walked off.  

“WE’RE BACK!!” Haechan yelled, walking into NCT’s shared dorm. Jaehyun appeard from the living room. “Hey ,I prepared some snacks for you guys” he said walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Oh and Unit 127 practice starts at 8 pm, so Mark & Haechan pleas get on time.” He said walking away. The Dream unit, quickly ate their snacks and started running towards their shared rooms. Mark was quick to leave, together with Jeno, Jisung and Chenle. Haechan and Renjun would most likely get late as usual.  

“Hey isn’t that Y/N?” Jeno said poking Mark’s side. Mark’s shot up as he saw you standing at the convenience store with your best friend. Mark loved how you could just stuff your face with food and not care what others thought of you. He loved it how your dimples showed up when you were laughing. He just loved all the little things about you.   “She’s coming our way” Jeno whispered, catching Mark off guard. He started to sweat and got very hot, 'I haven’t even started practicing and I’m already sweaty’

The pace of his heart picked up as you came closer and closer. You smiled sweetly at him, saying 'hi’ and continued your walk home. He smiled back at you, feeling to shy to say something back at you. Mark was beet red by just a simple 'hi’, how could a girl make him feel that way, he questioned.   “Woah Hyung! You’re glowing!” Chenle snickered, making you turn around only to see mark hitting Chenle’s arm, hiding his face in is hoodie and running off. You thought he was cute, feeling so embarrassed.

Mark couldn’t be any happier when they finally reached the SM building.

Mark was busy warming up when Haechan came running in together with Renjun. “YAH! WHY ARE YOU LATE HUH!! CARE TO EXPLAIN?!” Their manager never got this mad unless their was something bothering him or they couldn’t get the choreography right. They apologized quickly, and run off to get changed. Haechan walked up to mark “Y/N gave me this” he fished something out of his pocket, “Ta-dah” Haechan put his middle finger up at his hyung. “Very mature” Mark pushed him out of the way and got in his position.

“5,6,7,8” the music stared playing, The Dream unit being very energetic, getting everything right to make their Manager proud. Dance practice finished earlier then Mark expected. Now he had some time to eat and practice his rapping and maybe some vocals. Time passed by as Mark was very busy not minding all the people around him. “Oh, Mark you’re early for the first time” Doyoung joked, walking in with the rest of NCT 127 Mark smiled and greeted all of his hyungs.

“Yah Mark, you seem off. You did a great job with NCT Dream and now you’re doing nothing but bumping into your members. Care to explain” His manager stood infront of him. Mark didn’t say anything, hoping his manager would let it slide for this once. Lucky for him, the manager had an appointment with some CEO of SM, “You better have your shit together by tomorrow” his manager said slamming the door shut. “Wauw, Mark what has gotten into you, you always show your best side.” Taeyong said, swinging his arm around Mark’s shoulder. “Maybe it’s because Mark hyung is in love with a girl from our school” Haechan accidently spat out, quickly covering his mouth with his hands, looking at the floor out of quilt. Mark shot him a angry look.   “Oh my god Mark is growing up” Jaehyun fake cried on Johnny’s shoulder.

“So is she cute? What’s her name? How old is she?” Mark got overwhelmed by all the questions his hyungs gave him. 

“SHE’S NOT CUTE! She’s fat!!” Haechan yelled in the back. "And you’re not with your one pack" Yuta shot back at him. Haechan couldn’t say anything as all the attention went back to Mark. 

“Her name is Y/N, she’s very cute and she is NOT fat, she just has curves.” Mark answered all the questions at once. “Well go ask her out” WinWin said. “I don’t know how to” Mark scratched the back of his neck getting slightly red “I never asked a girl out before” looking at the floor, all of NCT started cheering. “Mark is SHY SHY SHY!!” Haechan yelled across before running off, thinking he could get killed by all the angry glares his Hyungs shot him “Well fuck practice, we’re going to help you ask out that girl Y/N” Taeyong said gathering his stuff.

Mark haven’t slept all night, thinking how everything will go.   'What is she says no?’ What if she finds me disgusting’ Mark panicked, wanted to run away from school.

You finally arrived at school, regaining your breath from all the running you just did. You saw Mark with his friends waiting at the school gates. You heart pace picked up as you neared the gates. You liked Mark since the first day you saw him. He was just so shy and adorable, how he gets red so easily. But when it came to rapping he was like a god, not shy, very bad boy kinda like. Not caring what others thought. 

You admired that about him, You saw his friends point at you and poking marks sides. Mark pushed them away as you came very close. 

Marks friends were already gone when you arrived. “Hey Mark” you smiled as you entered the school. “Wait Y/N” Mark stood in front off you. “Mark we’re going to get late” You said trying to push him away, being the good student you are. “No pleas let me tell you something” He took a deep breath, “I Couldn’t sleep at all last night so you need to listen” You stood there frozen, waiting for what Mark had to say to you. “Okay Y/N I really really like you. The first day of school I had a liking towards you. My feelings grew more day by day and I just can’t handle it anymore.” Mark was completely shaking from head to toe.  

You giggled at his cuteness. “What’s so funny?” He asked confused. “You’re so cute when you’re nervous.” He smiled down at you.   “I like you too Mark lee” you held his hand. “So does that mean we’re a thing now?” He said intertwining your fingers. “Yes” you kissed his cheek. Both trying to hide your red faces.   You heard lots off screams and cheers coming from the school gate. You turned around to see all off his Hyung’s yelling like crazy and jumping up and down. “They’re crazy” Mark said grabbing your hand and started walking to class. Who cares you’re late, you just had the best time of your life.  

This is the start from a new adorable relationship.