#the weight of this is crushing me
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who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me
#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10#not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching#need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh#the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read
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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)
#high of victory drops to an overwhelming crushing feeling of what comes next now that youre done#if it wasnt clear v2 is trying very hard to put v1 back together after it kills them. very very poorly. weight of your actions hits#v2#v1#ultrakill#v4v#heavy implied at the very least. see as you will#i realize now that the writing is very disconnected and so are the drawings but bear with me here. do you see my vision#theres something going on between these two that is beautiful but also extremely codependent#at least on v2s end#tried to do those two descriptive pages in a way where it went like. 2 - 3 small details about v1. and then something very specific. some-#-thing theyd only know if they paid close attention to how the other acted or looked#took me a few days to put together and im pretty happy with it i think#feel free to dub or do whatever as long as you gimme credit where credits due#there are many ways to interpret v2 and this is one of them#gen art
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Something i think abt often is sukuna placing almost all of his entire body weight on you, pretending to faint just for the shits and giggles, even tho it makes you fight for your LIFE
Sukuna: oh my, what's this...? Im feelin' so lightheaded all of a sudden-
You: [SCREAMING]
#sukuna x reader#sukuna#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#jokes on yall i would be happy about it like yes put your entire crushing weight on me please 🙏#i cant breathe but its alright bc its sukuna
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im honestly this close to just blocking people who tag my art as ship art
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I'm actually unbelievably unwell about Etoiles character you don't understand. He's always been a sword, protecting by attacking first, by fighting back, offense as the best defense. He jokes a lot about dying for the island, dramatic and half sarcastic, but there's truth in his jests. He would kill, and he would die, for his daughter, for the rest of the eggs, for the safety of everyone on the island. He does not hesitate, for what good would that do him?
Then he gets the shield, and it changes the entire game. And while he can still kill to protect the island, he can no longer truly die for them.
His role is functionally the same - he draws attention to himself, he's just as ready for a fight as he's always been, he fights the codes to protect the island - but its the difference between a sword and a shield, because of his literal shield.
He's the only solid defense between the codes and the island, and all the eggs. The only one who can tank the hits and negate the effects of their crazy powerful swords.
A sword cannot hesitate, but a shield must consider it - he cannot take risks when he’s fighting in the Colosseum, because if he dies he’d lose the shield. He cannot risk attacking the fake Pomme without hesitation, not until he’s sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s not his real daughter.
A shield must be sturdy. It must hold up under pressure. It must stay strong and reliable, no matter the circumstance - as the eggs go missing and everyone else crumbles, Etoiles cannot follow suit. He will play his part and defend the island, shouldering what the others cannot, because who else will do what he does?
To lose the shield would not only mean to lose himself, but to lose his family. He cannot fall without failing the entire island, his loss would mean disaster, for who is he if he’s not standing between the ones he loves and the monsters that threaten them?
He's as much a shield as the one he carries.
#he’s a thrill seeker a fight chaser and he paints a target on his back because he can tank the hits and better him than the eggs#he’s a shield in steady hands he’s the protector of the island - an apt comparison yknow#if he loses his shield they’re fucked because it’s their only defense. HE is their only defense. Ugggh#he’s so. like. atlas coded yknow. weight of the world and whatnot. because who else can shoulder the weight of the sky and keep it#from crushing the earth???#I dunno man. the fact that he’s gotta be the level headed steady reassuring one now too. it’s just fucking with me#my fave my bestie his lore makes me want to rip things with my teeth#mcyt#qsmp#etoiles#q!etoiles#qsmp meta#z speaks
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Oh no it would be such a shame if I was being pinned down and straddled by a gorgeous girl rn.
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Love that stupid hairbrushing scene where Padme pretends to brush her curly hair. It's so doll-like, but the doll she's playing with is herself. Putting on a performance for her husband, but really acting out a fantasy for herself.
#And then she puts on her lip gloss before going to bed. Just a perfect pretty little wife with no problems#just love and domestic bliss.#it reminds me a tiny bit of that one scene in the marverlous mrs maisel#where midge waits for husband to fall asleep before taking off her make-up and putting her rollers in and then wakes and puts it all back o#before his alarm goes off and she pretends to wake up. all to preserve the illusion. the fantasy.#with padme the vibe is slightly different#because she's not really expected to perform this kind of tradwife shit#but this is her escape from the crushing weight of everything else she cares about going under#padme amidala#alternatively: she sent all her servants home so she could host her secret husband#but has no actual idea what her hair-care routine is#so she's just doing whatever#but i kinda don't entirely vibe with because of the whole handmaid body-double thing#surely she had to be able to act the part
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Patreon Request: Spock [Patreon | Ko-fi]
#I've been occassionally watching/listening to episodes of TOS while I draw#and let me tell you - Kirk is FAR less joyful than you all would have had me believe#everyone on that shows talks like they're trying not to wake someone in the next room [not a positive or negative thing]#I do like the slightly surreal-feeling setting of the ship and I do wish adaptations of that time period worked to make it look#more like 60's poor budget technicolor surrealism retrofuture (with a budget this time) rather than .... minimalist modern white.#Spock#TOS#star trek#bea art tag#note: you all = general interpretation of Kirk I've seen in fandom and from reboots etc.#Kirk in adaptations is like a wisecracking cool guy who loves having fun#Kirk in TOS (so far) seems like he's about to be crushed under the weight of it all at any moment & also like he's vaguely irritated#at all times [again not positive or negative I just didn't expect it - he's so serious!]
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I could definitely see Till getting angry at Ivan for what happened during Round 6 and choking him as some sort of payback.
Only for Till to be horrified by the realization that Ivan would just let him do it…
#till: ‘‘i’m so angry i want to kill you’’#ivan: ‘‘that’s fine with me as long as it’s you’’#till: wtf???#the power dynamic would be fascinating to see#till has had power/control over very little in his life#what would he think after learning how much influence he has over ivan? how would he act?#would he be disgusted (because he’d be no better than the alien owners)?#would he be honored (that someone cares and trusts him that much)?#would he be scared (a life is such a heavy responsibility)?#at the same time ivan is not without his own power#he knows till better than anyone#he knows how to push his buttons and get under his skin and get the reactions he wants#he knows that till is emotional and that the weight of ivan’s feelings might crush him if he confesses#oughhgh#i’ve once again failed to be normal about these two#ivan is still alive btw#this is not up for debate#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alnst till#alien stage round 6#alnst round 6#alien stage ivantill#alnst ivantill#ivantill#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron looking at Alicent after she washes her hands of a war, that she (and Otto) dragged them into, and the throne, that she (and Otto) forced them to grasp/fight over even though they obviously didn't want it, and goes off to live her best life while they are all still stuck in a cycle forced on to them without their input (obviously this is about the s2 final):
#anti hotd#like....what were they doing with alicent in s2? like-#in s1 they had great foundation for pushing her character and her belief as to why her children would be under threat from just existing#(even if u like rhae- understandable- it's not hard to take a step back & understand some of ali's pov#especially when daemon comes into the picture)#there's buildup for why she's forcing this on to her kids (murky but still) & still shows that she loves them in a complex way#heck there was even room to show her after all this also wanting to be close to the throne trailing into s2 whatever#but then s2 shits on that by making everything that happened in s1 hold no weight & ali (& otto) basically ruin their kids lives#like i like alicent but s2 makes no sense characterwise & makes her just...a bad character overall#like ive always felt bad for her kids bc ali was wrong a lot of times but u understand it bc toxic/complex family relationships where the#love is still there but it's complicated#but now post s2? i feel sorry bc their mother pushed them down a path and then left them to live her life?#HUH!?#fanfic writers save me!#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#daeron targaryen#alicent hightower#kind of...anti alicent hightower too?#hotd showrunners really ruined this family & it frustrates me so bad#dni if you can't have a collected conversation about this#like “sorry sweeties mommy wants to makes amends with her childhood crush so rip!”#(& this is from someone who ships rhaenicent)
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my actual sleep paralysis demon
#i wake up to a crushing weight and it’s him sitting/loafing on me at 2am#althea talks#socks#🧦#but he is my babey#cat#meme#reaction pic#cursed#mine#photo post#image
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Hey, I've seen your drawings from Neves. They are brilliant. I like her a lot, and are you writing fanfic about her?
Ahh thank you!!! That's really flattering fkljgfjf....It's always a pleasant surprise that people like Neves :'-) (and I love when I get an excuse to post my doodles of her and the Lamb lol)
I am in the works of trying to write a cotl fanfic abt this specific au (I call it The Apostate & The Martyr in my head lol), but writing doesn't come as easily as drawing to me SIGH. I've actually written quite a bit, but the problem is putting all these random excerpts together to make something coherent LOL. But yes, the fic is intended to be the story of The Lamb and Neves' friendship amidst the brutality and terror of the Lands of the Old Faith, how to deal with the consequences of their choices, and the mutual alienation they experience in their positions....as silly as that sounds lol. It's very self-indulgent! I just liked the concept of the "Outsider" POV, so to speak, being subjected to the sort of normalized violence that exists in cotl. Though, I might end up just making comics if I can't pan out this fanfic well enough!
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl lamb#cotl oc#cotl au#my art#literally one person knows whats actually going on with these two outside of me LOL HGDLGDJK#but i eventually hope to actually progress with fic / comics about them and their dynamic#theyre like the madonna and child to me. if the madonna and child were a depressive + reckless human and a Lamb crushed under the weight of#their megalomania and desire to gain freedom by any means necessary#Neves is just like i love you little lamb youre soooo cute youre my calling my duty and i have to keep you safe from the Wrath of Nature#and the Lamb is like aww thats so sweet ! i AM the wrath of nature ! i love you too thanks for giving me an unattainable goal !!#the lamb also just likes to sit in fresh laundry. as a treat#alright now i'm off to deal with requests and messages and asks and such!! sorry i am so busy sob
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buck and eddie's conversation on the fountain in merry ex-mas gets infinitely funnier to me every time it's like: your estranged wife who you're sleeping with on the DL comes to your place of work and announces to your nosiest co-worker and best friend that you can't talk without fucking, your platonic male bestie ✨ is absurdly quiet about the whole situation which is very uncharacteristic of him so you invite him to bring your son to a mall santa whilst wondering if you can ever trust your wife with your son again, once said child is out of hearing distance you bring up your bestie's silence, bestie replies that it's none of his business and you agree in a way that sounds like you're begging him to question every life decision you've ever made before immediately launching into a full explanation of the situation despite no homo bro sitting there awkwardly listening after doing the absolute Most to avoid this conversation because he's been talking about the situation with his future brother-in-law whilst christmas tree shopping, then he commiserates with you about the never-ending complications of sex with women, both of you are exactly three seconds away from wondering aloud whether sex with men is simpler, but then your son returns from santa's village with an elf who will tell your work husband that the two of you have an adorable son and he will skip away without denying this. just normal best friend things <3
#sami rambles#sorry but eddie amuses me so much in that scene#aloof secretive resigned eddie diaz just straight (ironic) up begging buck to call him out on his possibly dumb decisions#the conversation is insane#eddie: not gonna say anything??#buck: its none of my business 🤐#eddie: you're right its not#buck: i know#eddie: idk why you brought it up#buck: You brought it up#eddie: im not gonna tell u anything buck its none of ur business#buck: that's what i'm saying!!!#eddie: good 😤 so anyway lmfao get this-#LIKE ???#they're both so deeply pathetic in s2#why do they swap personalities for a scene and act like their about to die under the weight of their big man crushes#911 show#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#buck x eddie
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
#does your soul ever leave your body when your mom says something and youre like a) Ah. thats where this specific pain comes from#and b) not for anything would i perpetuate this to my own daughter should God bless me with one#anyway mother casually dropped mid conv that i ought to weigh myself once a week just to make sure i was eating right#and by Right she means not too much and not too much of what she considers Junk#also my soul left my BODY when i told her what i was wearing to the date tmr#(red pinafore mini dress with tights and a cute little cardigan situation that i actually feel GOOD in)#and she was like is your stomach bloated right now? if it is dont wear it#(the word she used can be bloated swollen or big in chinese)#MA'AM??????????#anyway im glad theres been fortifying work done in my heart bc this wouldve devastated me last year. absolutely CRUSHED me.#but im like okay........ well i look cute and im at a healthy weight. and im starting to eat better. and i only feel nauseous#thinking abt food occasionally. and i dont weigh and measure myself daily anymore. so thats progress.#also i personally think i look cute in that outfit so i think i SHALL wear it tmr.#anyway. thoughts!!!!!
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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Ashtray . 2023
(Yeah no don't worry she's a 120kg cyborg that can crush his skull with a squeeze of her hands if she wants)
PopArt Colorful Alt Versions on my Patreon:
#so like yeah im a bit insane#you know that already#this just came to me in a fever dream because i bought a weighted blanket today#and experience for the first time the magic of being gently crushed while napping#twas glorious#turns out to be a bit noir vibe#was different at first but im not complaining#can you spot all the “weird” things going on in here?#i think much for this piece so please look at it long and carefully#art#drawing#digital painting#watercolor painting#watercolour painting#illustration#artwork#original art#character art#ink drawing#vietnamese artist#vietnamese art#couple#noir#romance#transgender#nonbinary
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