#the way you wrote them was amazing
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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Some of my favourite out of context sfth ao3 tags because these are so funny (also all of these are from different fics)
Disclaimer that these aren’t mine :)
#if you’re not in the sfth fandom and you see this just… dont worry about the nazi tags okay 😭#Actually just don’t worry about any of them lol 😭#It’s all a long story#sfthposting#shoot from the hip#I know at least one of my sfth moots wrote one of these (hi you’re hilarious) but I’d bet there’s more#If this is weird (weird in a socially rude way to post someone else’s tags) then let me know because idk how to people and I’m sorry#I hope this is okay#i just find these funny lol#The funny things I find while combing through the tag double checking if my list is complete (it is! and being updated all the time!)#Thank you fanfic authors you’re both amazing for the fanfiction and hilarious for the tags#Even just regularly tagging things for sfth fics is funny cause it’s so chaotic#I haven’t read every sfth fanfic (yet) but I still appreciate them immensely
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my amazing digital circus hot take is that i think it genuinely deserves an award of some kind for writing pomni as a character while also having her be a girl because holy shit she is the most well written animated female character ive seen in a long time
#the way shes written you would expect her character to be a guy but no shes not and thats so awesome#if another show wrote her they wouldve oversimplified her and made her whiny and hysterical#or made her overly friendly and emotional disney princess style#but shes written like an actual human being who is going through It and i applaud them for it#my art#tadc#the amazing digital circus#pomni#tadc pomni
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i'll be like "i'm a god of writing" and then an hour passes after i post or submit something and i'll be like "i'm so dumb there's so much i could've done better if only i'd waited a bit and looked at it with fresh eyes i would've noticed how much it sucks & what i could've improved that looks so much like first draft material there's so many revisions i could make why i am i so impulsive and overconfident" and then i'll start writing something else and be like "i'm a god of writing" again
#the woes of having both a superiority and inferiority complex#also i think this might be similar to how i only get performance anxiety AFTER the performance is done. i'm always like this#i'll be super chill before a play & during it but then the play ends and i'm like “fuck they must've hated my acting” or whatever#or i'll be super chill while singing but then it ends and i go “man i sung way too quietly & i think i was out of pitch i suck”#and once again as soon as i go back to doing it again i go “wow im super great at this im amazing”#on related news i applied to a zine with 2 out of 3 snippets being ones i started writing as soon as i decided i was actually gonna apply#& i decided i wanted to apply 5hrs before i sent the application#so uh. i wrote ~2.7k words within 5 hrs & didnt give myself time to edit it bc im a dumbass w/ no concept of time#(“the applications close jan 2nd so i need to get this done asap” dude there's like a week til then why the rush- oh youve already sent it)#tbf they're more like 2nd drafts? one is a scene i'd kind of written b4 but w/ the intent of no one seeing it so i completely rewrote it#& the other is a very VERY loose eng translation of like the first quarter of one of my one-shots. when u compare its more of a rewrite rly#but still i'm looking at them now & im getting 2nd thoughts i shouldve waited eughhh#if you're a mod of that zine pls look away hahahaha.....#unless you liked those last 2 snippets & r impressed with the fact they were rushed. if so then yea im a god of writing ik ik#but to be fr tho i actually think snippet 2 is pretty strong but i think the 3rd one is... very weak. there's not much cohesion#like i def could've added more connective tissue. i was just a bit over half the wc limit so that was def smth i couldve done. ugh
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what's wrong with the existing ship names why do we need new ones
#lohst.txt#answer: most of them are impossible to figure out#do you know how long it took me to figure out why expensive headphones was called expensive headphones#hi hey hello I'm just talking shit again#if i dont like the ship name then i wont use the ship name. simple solution#the new ship names are following the same 'rules' i guess as the pre existing ones#theres. like. very few ship names that are portmanteaus#like. richjake. meremine. meremy hell. bich. deere. dillinjer. a certain ship that i dont want to name#but. yknow. a lot dont make sense#pins and patches came from. i think. a headcanon#i could jave sworn boardwalk boys came from a boy band au#*have#ive always called dirty blondes flower kids. only because the one person who wrote flower kids fics called them that#and that makes less sense than dirty blondes#look. half of them dont make sense and i dont know why theres new ones popping up#but im attached to them and some of them are good#royal pains?? i love it. stagedorks? classic. pinkberry?? amazing#also theres. like. no nice way to blend brooke and chloe#i dont think. or nothing i like the sound of#and i started calling the popular kids polycule 'high school royalty' because. well. they are#anyway i have thoughts about ship names#but im currently only capable of just saying things with no substance. just expressing dislike#so. this is another post of lara just talking shit on a non rebloggable post#it is almost 2am. that is all. goodnight
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5sos: puts HBG on the dice
5sos: has to play HBG
5sos: surprised pikachu face
No because those men took a glorified beach ball the size of Luke, slapped a song they actively hate and they think we like because of the chanting (hbg), 2 songs a lot of people talk about in social media and we do actively like (wayf and iydk), a song they never played before that is somewhat popular on 5sostok for conspiracy theories about who it is about (ela) and 2 songs I have no idea how even ended up on the mix (voodoo doll and heartache) and decided that literally throwing that in the audience would be a great idea. A tour doesn't need a surprise song, they made a conscious decision of making the dice, then they pick the songs on said dice and go all when it lands on half of them.
Like dudes what the hell did you think was gonna happen? That you could cheat your way into not playing it the whole tour? If you don't want to play the song don't make it an option, is not like y'all are not pretending half your discography doesn't exist, put hbg in that box and tell the people chanting for it to get over themselves. It's your show, you make the rules. If you hate a song don't fucking make it an option.
#legit the hbg debacle is making me actively hate the song#my conspiracy theory is that the dice exists because they wanted to make it through all the talking breaks without the clueless people that#keep changing hbg interrupting them#and im not sorry if you think the chanting was funny last year after the amount of times they asked people to stop youre an asshole#it wasn't funny then and it's not funny for me now personally the way they hate the song kills the vibe#the videos all have the weirdest energy#and thats a whole 5 minutes of the show we could be getting literally any other song#tmh couldve still be there maybe something more high energy from 5sos5 like haze or something#its a whole 5 minutes of the show that exists to appease a bunch of people they shouldn't bend to in the first place#if youre actively mad if you go to a 5sos concert and they didn't play hbg (before the dice okay) youre 13 or not a 5sos fan#they're playing 27 songs with a whole production#last year it was also 27 with this amazing light show to go with it#like move on let them move on no one wants to be remembered by shit they wrote when the were 16 when they're 27#sorry this is not what you asked I'm just pressed about the issue#i was asked#anon 😌
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wishing I was confident enough to post my thoughts on things without the need for a visual or cut off
Anyways I need to say the entire main party of ISAT is the rep I really needed to see… I hold ALL of them so incredibly close to my heart…
I’m going to talk more in the tags but please play this game, it’s worth it, im only on act 3 so surely it’ll get better :^)
(I reached max tag limit LMAO???)
#dramble#isat spoilers#please play this game it’s amazing the characters are so good and worth it please trust me#im about to spoiling a few things in the tags#so DO NOT look in here if you’re planning to play the game#prommy? okay ty#ISABEAU??? YOU! WHY ARE YOU ME??#no because before I knew about the game I had a whole thing last month where I made an obituary for MY YOUNGER SELF#I wrote about killing them myself#with my bare hands#while I don’t doubt my experience is shared that is such a specific thing that it hit me like 5 trucks#when he was talking about being shy and nerdy with big glasses and clean braids#when he spoke about his shyness and inability to ask a classmate for a PEN#to thinking he was content with living his life that way but then realizing that NO he did not want that#to growing and changing into the person he wish he knew at a young age#it’s. I think about that a lot and seeing someone in media share that very same experience is just. wow.#NOW MIRABELLE!!!!#AMAZING AROACE REP#SHE IS SO AROACE YALL#GOD SHE IS SO GOOD!!!!!#adorable sweet girl!! she loves the idea of romance!! but she doesn’t want it for herself!!!#there are people like her!!! and I love them!!#you can be nice to people sweet to people love them care about them#but still be unable to reciprocate any more than platonic love to them and that’s OKAY#ITS VALID!!!#also siffrin being ace as well!!!!#god I am so seen in such a good way#im going to cut myself off now but my shorter thoughts on the others are:#Bonnie is such a well written child character#ODILE MIXED RACE YAAAAAA
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Gushing about Gojo and Megumi and how they are or could have been everything to me I forgot to mention that I really really really love Yuuji. Like, a lot
#His attempt at reaching out to Sukuna‚ saving him and living with him#and how we see can see here and there moments in which he tries to reason with him from the very beginning#is one of my favorite things in JJK#It moves me a lot. It fits Yuuji a lot#But it fits the constant theme in JJK about how curses and people are not that different so much as well#Yuuji in the conditions of his existence looks at himself and then regards Sukuna#and the difference he sees is a faint line between them drawn out of merely being... lucky. Lucky enough to have someone supporting you#So he asks. Over and over. Let's try. Let's try again. This time it can be right. I know you could love flowers and haiku and company#I know you fear death. I will keep you company in life. Let's try again#But Sukuna owns it like Tirso de Molina's Don Juan does#I don't know. I love Itadori a lot#Their dynamic is truly something else. I wish it could be better#Damn I guess I just don't like shonen. The potential is amazing but damn why is it so unsatisfactory#Talking about best potential ever but unsatisfactory sorry to gush over Megumi and Gojo again#but the apparent parallel between them is arriving me off the wall#Megumi's mention to how it's the three of them reminded me of Gojo's similar comment to Ijichi and Shoko when he learnt Nanami had died#I live for these things. I wish there was enough to actually sustain me#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Also Gojo found her mother. She said she didn't care but he did. Just in case I suppose?#Perhaps to give her the chance if she did care after all. And I don't know. I don't know. I guess... This is it. This is why I love him#Despite everything he does care. And does take care of things. In his way. Uncouth. Weird. Irresponsibly. But he does#And Megumi laughs#Despite how his world crumbled he laughs. Because of something he wrote. Because of Gojo keeping his promise#In the worst most absurd Gojo way possible. But there he is. Taking care of it as he said he would. Telling him about it#And Megumi laughs. Because that's just so Gojo. Megumi laughs. And it's a sight to behold#And this is it. This is what Gojo could have been. What he was. But the glimpse of what could have been sooo deep when it comes to Megumi#And this is why I love him and them so much. And why the undeveloped potential breaks my ribs so severely#They could have been everything to me! They could have been everything at all! One of the dynamics ever!#Even if it had been nothing! Even in the nothingness! For the nothingness itself. Like the nothingness of this letter! Perfect example
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the turning point in atsv where peter b tries to "reason" with miles and miles tells him to stop calling him a kid, which gets miles hobie's praise. but jessica tells hobie that he isn't helping and hobie only responds with "good" and then miles looks at him with this troubled expression, like he finally understands what hobie was trying to tell him from the get go. miles understands that he can fight for more than what gwen and peter b have accepted as the cost for their place in spider society, miles understands he doesn't need this illusion of power they have to be spiderman. he already IS spiderman. then when miguel ensnares miles in the trap, while everyone else pointlessly tries to reason with miguel (the man, the authority), hobie goes directly to miles and reminds him he has the power to free himself. which results in miles breaking free and dismantling the fragile semblance of order and composure that the spider society and miguel both had. then when miles is trying to go home, it's spiderbyte's choice to defy miguel directly, as peter b and gwen have repeatedly failed to do so because all they do is talk, and stand in solidarity with miles that saves him from miguel's wrath. and when miles is gone and miguel has no one to turn on but HER, that's when gwen finally realises that her place in the spider society never meant anything. that the second that she would have truly questioned miguel and his power, she was always going get the same treatment as miles. she doesn't get to talk anymore, she's given no choice in going after miles or going home. then it's HOBIE who gives her the means to rectify her mistake and to stand by miles' side, as she should have from the very beginning. THAT'S CINEMA BABYYY!!
#spiderverse#thoughts about media#this movie is a fucking MASTERPIECE#it never gets any less amazing to watch.#and I LOVE hobie so much. he is such an INCREDIBLE character.#the way he looks out for and encourages the young spiders to stand up for themselves without PUSHING them into anything???#they wrote him so beautifully.#and do Not take this post as miguel hate if you see this. I love miguel and I want him.#but A LOT of men (fictional) I want are NOT nice people. miguel is honestly better than most of them. but he is still an asshole.
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#last month i wrote some tags about how i needed to leave my nails alone because i was getting extensions#in the hopes that i would finally stop biting my nails after doing it almost my whole life#well it FUCKING WORKED#i got gel x tips and i loved them sooooo much#but they kept coming off because i have to do so much with my hands especially in water lol#and i have tiny fingers too so the sizes she had weren't quite right#she redid the ones that came off for free for the whole three weeks i wore them!#so i bought her some new tips in tiny person sizes as a thank you lol#for her to use on other clients tho because she recommended this gel overlay system she likes#I've been wearing it for like a week and a half and they are still FLAWLESS#so I'm never going back to anything else lol i'm going to keep getting these pretty much forevwr#but anyway the important part is. that i no longer put my fingers in my mouth to destroy my nails and cuticles#i have real grownup hands now and it's AMAZING#my nail plate is reattaching to my nail bed!!!! like the bed is getting longer#they'll eventually reach the actual tips of my fingers the way theyre supposed to 😍#and the gel keeps the nails hard and almost fucking unbreakable#i had to replace my compulsion to bite/chew with the compulsion to apply cuticle oil lol but it's SO WORTH IT#i look at pictures of how my hands used to look just two months ago and i cant fucking believe i lived that way for DECADES#and i guess this is especially significant for me because my hands have always been a source of shame#not just because my nails were fucking gross and fucked up. but because i have TINY HANDS#like really small hands. not proportionate to my body. AT ALL#especially when i put my hands near my head because i have a slightly larger than average head lmaooo#and my fingers are very thin and just. i have small hands. very weak.#i cant even snap my fingers and make a sound#(do NOT instruct me. i know how to do it. i have been trying my whole life. its not physically possible for my fingers to make that sound)#so having nice nails really fucking helps me 🥹#like i can be proud of my hands even if theyre small#and i dont feel the need to hide them anymore
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I've had one of the worst lessons I've ever done today
#so i teach english btw#and i had a lesson with 8 kids aged 8-10#and three of them were absolutely amazing#one was a little bit naughty but he was very active so i could let it slide i guess#but the other four were the absolute nightmare#they were so fucking loud despite my trying to calm them down... but that was not the worst thing#the worst thing was when i gave them a task to make their own list of rules that can be used in a classroom#and one kid who by the way is 10 wrote “you can rape the teacher”. What the FUCK.#what the absolute hell is wrong with those kids
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The vessels cross nightmare country
Beyond all hope, Vessel’s feet carried him through the desert of bone. Reminiscing on what felt like the last few days – it was hard to tell in Nightmare –, he remembered first hearing the call in that space between Dreaming and Awake. Come to me, it said, venture into my Realm. Journey to find me, child of Sleep.
They all heard the not quite voice calling to them. Upon first crossing the door from Dream into Nightmare, he looked his friends in the eye. Ghoulish faces stared back at him. A muzzle cast in gold. Thick tar dripping from a horrifying grin. Lips sewn shut by Sleep’s markings. He was taken aback for a moment, but of course he wouldn’t be the only one changed by his worship. Turning his gaze upwards, he was met with the oppressive deep void of the starless sky, the color – or lack thereof – reflected on his own skin.
Where do we go now?, they asked.
Forward. Into the dark.
And so, driven by devotion, they walked. When exhaustion overcame the vessels, they huddled together in an embrace in the cold darkness. A thousand pairs of eyes shining between branches of trees, staring hungrily at them. The sound of dry leaves being crushed by feet circling around the group getting closer and closer. Restless slumber came eventually, after IV’s desperate aggressive growls scared the nightmare beasts away. But sleep doesn’t come to Vessel, not anymore. He took it upon himself to carry out his holy duty and watched over his friends until they regained some of their energy.
After what seemed like forever, the landscape slowly started changing. Dense woods gave way to a humid environment, their next steps sank in the mud and, eventually, in water. They could see shadows wandering the bog, but they disappeared when looked at directly. Distant globes of silver light seemed to beckon them, a reprieve from the dull darkness surrounding the group. Distant wailing kept the vessels from wandering off their dreadful path.
The sweet smell of rot was a gentle reminder that Vessel’s body was withering away in the Real World, stuck in this dreaming state until the journey was complete. They were all dying, came the realization. But the old god hungers and requires sacrifice.
He asks too much, was a thought Vessel smothered swiftly with a look, a hand on a shoulder, a kiss. Who were they to judge the ways of gods? But their doubts grew heavy on their shoulders, weighed on their knees until every step became harder and harder to take. Vessel led them from that horrid swamp. Be strong, he said, even when he felt all strength drained from his very soul. The desire to curl in on himself and let the waters take him sounded more tempting as time went on.
Allow me to spare them from the danger of these thoughts, was the silent prayer Vessel sent to the void. They persevered.
And now that sterile desert. Bones of a myriad of different creatures made up the ground they had to traverse. They stumbled on the dangerous terrain and braced themselves on bloody hands when they fell. The unchanging sky never denounced the passage of time and nothing disturbed the morbid silence in that dead place.
Suddenly, a piercing scream made itself heard and, looking around for the source, they could pinpoint a body falling from the sky, flailing limbs trying to somehow stop their trajectory midair. It disappeared right before it hit the ground. Guess the lucky bastard got to wake up, said III in an attempt to lighten the mood. Only in moments of purest fear can mortals reach this place without aid, that much was known to them. Silence prevailed again and they journeyed forward.
In the distance, impossibly tall peaks rose to the heavens. That is where we must go, II spoke at last. The others were startled to hear it, it was their friend’s voice, but it sounded as if it came from the depths of the world. He wasn’t using his mouth, they realized. So they walked, renewed by finally seeing the end of their ordeal approaching.
Finally reaching the roots of the mountains, they found themselves in front of a cave. A cold breeze from within left goosebumps on their skin and made a chill run through their spines. We’ll go with you, his friends promised. Vessel saw the truth in those words, but the end of the journey was his to bear. The gaping mouth of the cave seemed to look back at him. He stepped inside.
And now began his descent into the dark place where Sleep dwells. He squeezed his body through tight spaces, scraping his skin on sharp rock. Down and down Vessel went until he reached an ample chamber adorned with ancient stalactites, the sound of dripping water filling his ears. The belly of the beast, it felt like.
The entity made itself known. Cold tentacles guided Vessel further into the earth until darkness enveloped him completely. The embrace felt blissful at first, comforting even, a respite from the hardships of the journey. But eventually, he started suffocating. With eyelids shut tight, he could see Sleep with his mind’s eye. Vessel felt torn between staring in worship forever and ripping his eyes out. The old god was horror and beauty wrapped in one being, too much in his true form.
Your dedication is appreciated, child. Such resilience must be commended, the words rang in his head like thunder almost making him flinch. It hurt to hear them, blood trickled from his ears.
The pain reached his very bones. Anger gnawed at his guts urging him to bite back against the aggression, but he couldn’t move a single muscle. Why?, the word tumbled from him unexpectedly. There was a pregnant pause, gods aren’t meant to be questioned.
I could feel your faith faltering, my vessel. I’m with you always and I see all.
Clarity flooded him. A test. A way for Sleep to wrap his tentacles tighter around them. Out of their own volition, they had walked into Nightmare, the place where the god held the most power. Yes, the word sounded like the loud buzzing of a thousand wasps. Already you feel my influence, all of you.
And now a boon for my favorite mortals.
With dread filling him to the brim and threatening to spill, Vessel opened his eyes. Waking up felt like emerging from a deep dark sea, but the air in the Waking World felt just as suffocating as water.
....................................
listen they’re all in a toxic relationship with an eldritch god ajsgajksg
i don’t even know what this is, only that it came to me when i was trying to sleep and it wouldn’t leave me alone. it’s heavily inspired by sandman, with a dash of robert jordan’s concept of tel'aran'rhiod from the wheel of time (the body falling from the sky and all). and “beyond all hope”? that’s straight from my boy jrr tolkien. that was fun, hope you guys enjoy this nightmarish journey.
#it's been so many years since i wrote ANYTHING#i'd like to thank this band for inspiring me#also the amazing things you all write about them#i'm not super familiar with the band's lore#and i apologize in advance if i butchered the english language in any way :))))#sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#m speaks
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Ayaka x Lumine (AU)
Just a drawing of Ayaka and Lumine being in love and kissing that I drew last summer, except their designs are different because I drew this as part of an au idea I came up with. and also because I enjoy changing up character designs in my fanart sometimes for no real reason.
(Note: This has been in my drafts for over two months and I wish to set it free, hope you enjoy my ramblings)
(EDIT: If you're interested in this idea, please tell me! I'm busy dying to college homework right now but if people are interested I'll probably make more art for it, and maybe even write something when I have time)
The concept for the AU:
When Ayaka told Lumine that Thoma had been taken by the Tenryou commission, Lumine said she'd bring him back safe and Ayaka should avoid getting involved. But in this story, Ayaka doesn't. When the Shogun raises her blade to strike down the traveler, it is Ayaka who saves her.
After this, Ayaka travels with Lumine and Paimon to aid the rebellion. Ayaka is left without her duty to her clan, and uncertain if she'll have a future within it after the war has ended.
But as her world seems to crumble around her, Lumine is right by her side, helping her through it. Holding her hand. Making her laugh in spite of everything.
And at watatsumi island, Ayaka has a chance to live more freely. She's not holding the reputation of her clan upon her shoulders anymore, and many of the people there have never seen her as the Shirasagi Himegimi.
I also like the idea of Ayaka making friends with Kokomi, they've both had to make compromises in their life out of a sense of responsibility to the role they found themselves in and the people depending on them.
Some concept art:
If I remember correctly, I first came up with the idea for the AU while drawing Ayaka with short hair just for fun. I don't know how it went from "I think Ayaka could look very cute with short hair" to "what if Ayaka got exiled from the Kamisato clan what clothes would she wear" but here we are???
Here's some sketches I did to get their designs down for the AU! I chose the upper right one for Ayaka's outfit, but I'm still figuring out some details for it so it'll probably change some more in the future. Or I might end up going for something closer to her original outfit, idk. Feel free to offer your thoughts!
I didn't really need to make any changes for Lumine to fit the story better or anything, but I decided I wanted to try out some alternate designs for her clothes anyways. I chose the bottom right dress design for the illustration at the top of this post.
I've talked a lot about my ideas for Ayaka already, so here's my thoughts for Lumine:
I think that if Lumine hasn't already fallen for Ayaka before the divergence from canon, she would while the two of them fight for the resistance. And then once she realizes she's has these feelings for Ayaka, it becomes a thing where she doesn't want to confess them while Ayaka has so much else going on in her life.
#thinking about this au gives me happy feels#i can have these two fall in love in so many ways the power it's amazing#also wow this sure is a lot of words i wrote and if you read most of them then pls tell me what you thought#genshin impact#genshin au#genshin impact au#ayalumi#ayaka x lumine#kamisato ayaka#genshin impact lumine
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people who leave 5 star reviews without saying anything are so interesting to me
#banana speaks 🍌#I also do this when i can't think of anything but#this is specifically ab that book i published on amazon way back when#got curious and looked it up and??? it has a 5 star rating from 2 reviews but none of the reviews SAID anything#and its funny to me bc um#exactly 3 people got it hahsgdgs#i want to pick those peoples brains to know what they thought#which story was their favourite? one of the ones i wrote? or my sisters? or my dads?#this book was an assignment for my publishing as an industry class at uni and i remember asking them to contribute to it#and then using a story i wrote for a previous assignment for my first one#panicking bc i gave my sister a word count & then said she could go over & id edit it down when she asked bc i didnt think she'd go too far#AND THEN SHE WROTE 9K WHEN I ASKED FOR 2.5#so it took me DAYS to cut it down so it wasnt noticeably longer than the other stories#and then i wrote my second story in the collection 12 hrs before the deadline at midnight and continued editing it on my train to uni lmaoo#which is doubly funny bc i think that story is both amazing and terrible#(you can tell i was uh. 21 when i wrote it is all ill say)#but also i sometimes remember the opening of that story and giggle so
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where do i even start. two people in love, but that are hurting. two people who meet each other and are in need of love and happiness, (“do you think you weren’t loved enough?” “somewhere between ‘not enough’ and ‘not at all’. i was always hungry for love. just once, i wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it… just once. but they never gave that to me. never, not once.”). they’re in need of love; the kind of love that reassures them that they are a person. they are a living, breathing human worthy of love. that nothing of their past defines them, there is always the chance to grow. the kind of love that reassures them they are not hated by the world, but that they are loved. and they find that in each other (“i want to hold this moment. i want to believe it. i want his love to have enough salt in it to float me. i don’t want to be swimming for my life.” -frankissstein) they are two people who have been drowning in silence for so long, but then they find each other. and they keep each other afloat. with promises to keep on living and promises that they will always be there for the other. that they will never leave. that they are there to stay. and sometimes one person is all that you need. iwa and y/n have the type of relationship where they cover the other’s ears when it gets too loud, the kind of relationship where they run into the others arms every moment they get. they know each other like the back of their hands, they know what sets the other off and they always know what the other needs. and when they finally retire to bed after a long night of living, and they let down their walls and they finally say it, “i’m so tired.” the other is there to hold them, saying “i know, love. but it’s going to be okay.” and it will be, because they have each other.
ways to live: h. iwaizumi
he’s depressed. she’s depressed. it’s all they ever talk about. she’s willing to try anything to feel better. he’s less optimistic
pairings: iwaizumi x f!reader
status: completed, uploading all the chapters today & then disappearing again
tags/warnings: online friends to lovers, blended smau (every chapter has written parts), university au, mini-series, happy ending, hurt/comfort, lots and lots of frank discussions on mental health, depression tweets, casual discussions of suicidal ideation (no death or sh), disordered behaviors, recovery
taglist: i’m not doing one please do not ask to be added
prologue: the list
chapter one: exercise
chapter two: nurture yourself with good nutrition
chapter three: connect with a support system
chapter four: help yourself by helping others
chapter five: demonstrate gratitude
#bless the world for reminding me of a tag game we both did forever ago that asked what ur favorite color was#i wanted to do ur favorite color as the other color for this reblog#AND IT WAS GREEN#so i did a lighter shade of iwa's eye color <3#sorry i yapped SO MUCH#and also i literally had so many feelings about this smau#i don't think my moodboard does it justice at all#THERE IS SO MUCH I COULD'VE SAID#but i just really don't want to get overspecific or accidentally vent or get super depression-y or anything#so i'm so sorry if anything is inaccurate#just know i felt so much more than what i wrote in that desc#also it's the way for me that you just write iwa so consistently#i kept wanting to write things and then i'd be like “wait hold on i've already said that somewhere”#and it's because i have because you just always write him so well and perfectly#you characterize him perfectly like i'm always reading about the same iwa if that makes sense#idk how to explain it#ily eggy#i was feeling slightly lazy but i sent back and re emailed myself the inked pictures so i could resize them so they'd all be nice and 1:1#so that if you decide to use any of my moodboards they look uniform <3#and you are worth all of that#i would re email all of these images and write everything from scratch again for you and your works#i think you're amazing <3#also i'm sorry!!! aa i was supposed to do songs that reminded me or each smau as i went but i totally forgot </3#i think i'll put it in the tags for each one!!#i'm feeling two songs#this feeling will pass by take care#not bc of the lyrics exactly but bc of the title and pacing of the song <333#and gb eating gb whilst listening to gb by crywank ooooof what a song it may not be your vibe i'm sorry </3
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AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?
There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.
When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.
The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.
And then she never posted again.
Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.
Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:
TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.
She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--
I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.
And that was when she got the fuck out.
I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.
I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.
ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.
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