#the way tommy's voice gives out because she's feeling so much... OOF

[howtosingit]

TK’s Caress + Tommy’s Voice Breaking + Carlos’s Smile 4x18

[lonely-lost-soul]

“I’m Not Soft.”

Request 5: Techno and the voices simping for the reader, maybe after reader gets in (and wins) a fight or something more domestic like farming or playing with Steve

Requested By: Anonymous 

(Technoblade X Female Reader)

~Added a little bit of spice~

Technoblade kicked the snow off his boots sending little flurries all inside the doorway of his cabin. He had just arrived home, he was coming home much later than he anticipated getting held up at a long-running syndicate meeting. He was greeted by the savory smell of baked potatoes and steak, it had him practically drooling. Techno wandered into the kitchen after hanging up his cloak by the door, his plate was sitting in the furnace. He peeked inside and saw it was set on low heat just to keep his food warm, he smiled softly. 

‘She’s so thoughtful. Keeping it warm for us. We should give her a kiss! Where even is she? Find her before you eat. You can sit together!’ 

Technoblade let out a soft hum of acknowledgment listening to the advice of the voices and searching for his lady love. He stepped into the living room and noticed the fire was roaring away in the fireplace, you were still here then, very early on he made sure you knew to put the fireplace out when you were finished in the room. He had a close call with Tommy when he was living here, and since then he made sure to remind you constantly about the fireplace. He spotted you and Steve curled up next to one another by the said fireplace, you were buried in his white fur and he was snoring away loudly beside you. A book was in your lap and you were wearing one of his shirts as a pajama top, socks with little bears on them adorned your feet. 

‘Oh my god, they’re so cute together. Take a picture! Take a picture! She looks so peaceful…’

Technoblade smiled gently making sure he did end up snapping a picture, just so he could tease you about it later. Plus you were adorable and you snuggling with Steve really melted his frozen heart, 

‘SIMP!’ 

     “You guys are doing the same thing shut up.” He growled under his breath finally walking over to you, Steve cracked his eyes open and let out a low snarl before comprehending who stood in front of him. Once he recognized The Blade he let out a disgruntled huff before falling back asleep, his movement caused you to stir. Technoblade watched as you rub the sleep from your eyes, before running your hands through your messy hair. “Morning Princess,” He cooed squatting down beside you. You blinked blearily at him for a moment before a smile lit up your face, you moved quickly wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He couldn’t help but smile in response to the hug, his hands were placed on his lower back as he squeezed.

‘So small and cute. Just like a little kitten.~ Can you give her a kiss now? I’m tired of asking for a kiss just do it. Stop making him sound like a simp. Wait look she’s pulling away-’

You pressed a kiss to his lips murmuring a weak, ‘welcome home Protesilaus.’ He shivered a little at the use of his Greek title and gave you a kiss back. 

     “Did you make me dinner?” You hummed nodded your head sleepily, “You spoil me, Princess.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and you nuzzled into it, you looked blissful. 

     “Only cause you deserve it, big guy. Want me to sit with you while you eat.” 

     “If you’re up for it.” Another kiss was pressed against the side of his lips and he purred fondly. You giggled a little and he flushed darkly, “Don’t laugh at me that’s cringe.”

     “Not laughing at you, I just love it when you purr. You’re like a big lion, who’s only soft for me.” He scoffed with an eye roll, 

     “I’m soft to no one.” 

     “Sure you’re not Tech.” You gently pat his cheek before standing up and cracking your back, Technoblade stood up beside you. The both of you walked into the kitchen, you sat at the table while he grabbed his meal. He dug in and his eyes fluttered, 

     “This is so good, god I’m so glad you’re my girlfriend.” 

     “Just for the cooking?” You teased fluttering your eyes at him and he looked thoughtful for a moment, 

     “Well, that and the great se-” You let out an indignant sound interrupting his sentence you went so red it even spread to your ears. Technoblade laughed loudly, “You’re so adorable when you’re flustered,” a smirk spread across his lips. 

‘We got her. Oh my god, she’s so cute. Awwww she’s embarrassed what a sweetheart. You should pinch her cheeks. Show her what we mean- DON’T BE GROSS. He was gross first though!’

     “You’re a terror,” You scoffed fanning your hot face with your hand trying to cool yourself down. 

     “Exactly and don’t you forget it, Princess.” He had a soft pink flush across his cheeks as you flipped him off, “Maybe later.”

     “Techno!” You squawked as he roared with laugher, “What is with you tonight!?”

     “I just missed you. I’ve been away from you all day can you blame me?”

     “I suppose not…” You trailed off smiling softly over at him and he smiled right back at you. “I’m going to head to bed, you coming or what?”

     “I’m right behind you.” He hummed placing his plate in the sink before following you up the stairs. 

The next morning was dedicated solely to you, not only because Technoblade wanted to but also because the voices just wanted to stay close to you. Your head was tightly tucked underneath his chin as he watched you sleep. The rise and fall of your chest was hypnotic and he placed his hand on your chest feeling your heartbeat flutter against his hand. He smiled watching you wake up for a second time with a sweet yawn, he kissed your nose as you regained consciousness. You snickered softly giving him a kiss right back, “Morning Techno.” 

     “Morning Princess,” He greeted, “I was wondering if you wanted to walk Steve with me today.”  

     “I’d love nothing more,” you smiled warmly “on one condition.”

     “And that would be?” Technoblade raised an eyebrow, his hand gently stroking your hip. 

      “I get to wear your cape.” His face scrunched up with disgust, 

      “My cape is sacred, you know this.”

      “I promise I’ll take really good care of it. Please for your wonderful and stunning girlfriend.” 

      “Eh?” He muttered as you batted your eyelashes at him, and despite his original distaste the voices melted seeing your face. 

‘She’s so cute. Adorable, look at those big ole eyes. Tell her she’s cute! Love of our life truly. She’s a teasing little shit ain’t she? Let her wear the cape, what's the harm?’

       “Cringe,” Technoblade said instead and the voices groaned loudly in his ears, he watched your face settle into a pout. He clicked his tongue annoyed at your pout, “come or don’t either way I gotta walk Steve- oof-“ Technoblade grunted as you sat down on his hips glaring at him. 

      “Give me the cape now.” You glared into his eyes, hands gripping onto his shoulders, his eyes lit up with amusement. 

     “Oh, you taking charge here Princess? I don’t mind if you think you can handle me.” The voices and he relished in the way your entire face turned red and you rested your forehead on his neck. 

    “You’re impossible but I’m still taking your fucking cape cringe-lord.”

     “Nerd.” He mused with a fond kiss to your lips, “but fine. I suppose you can borrow it.” Technoblade relented with a small smile, as your entire face lit up like the sun. 

‘Worth it. That smile! Be still my heart! She’s going to look so adorable. Trust us Techno you made the correct choice.’

He rolled his eyes and watched you tilt your head to the side, “The voices?” Technoblade gave a little nod. 

      “They’re being stupid.”

‘STUPID! FUCK OFF! WE’RE HELPING YOU SCORE!’

      “What’re they saying?” 

Sweat gathered on Technoblade’s brow, well now he couldn’t say they were complimenting you. He’d look like such an asshole. 

        “Nothing important.” He tried to cover himself up quickly and you gave a little smirk of your own. “Shut up don’t-“

       “Aw, do they like me?~” You cooed pinching the man’s cheek. “I love them too, they’re a part of you after all.” Now it was Technoblade’s turn to flush red all over if the voices weren’t gushing before they were now. 

‘Kiss her oh my god kiss her. We love her too! Tell her that right now! She needs to know! Bark bark bark bark! Everyone here is a simp. I’m the only one with a brain cell. Technooooooo tell her pleaaaaaseeeee.’

      “They Ugh...they want me to tell you they love you too.” He watched you smile again, “they also want me to give you a kiss.”

       “Well tell them I accept their kiss.”

       “Oh, they know sweetheart believe me.” He leaned forward to capture your lips, he felt you sigh pleasantly against them. His hands moved down to rest on your hips, rubbing gentle circles on them. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss but you pulled away from him, he let out a growl of disagreement. 

        “Oh hush up you grump. We have to feed the bears and dogs, plus if we’re walking Steve we need to get going.” 

       “Tease.” He grunted as you whacked him on the chest, before hopping off his lap to get dressed. He followed you out of bed, as the both of you got ready for the day ahead. You finished before Techno and slid down the ladders to whip up a quick breakfast and feed Steve. By the time Technoblade came downstairs, Steve was happily chowing away and you handed Technoblade two slices of bread. He gave you a quick kiss on the side of his head before shoveling the food into his mouth, he heard you giggle and he raised an eyebrow. “What’re you laughing at exactly?”

     “You’re eating like Steve,” Technoblade made an indignant sound of protest which only caused you to laugh harder. Sometimes he genuinely wondered how he put up with you but then he remembered he loved you and wouldn’t trade you for the world. He only rolled his eyes at you before grabbing Steve’s designated leash and hooking him up to it, the bear let out a huff and his little stub of a tail began to wiggle. “Someone’s excited,” You cooed at the bear scratching under his chin, “My big ole sweetheart.”

     “(Y/n) he’s supposed to be a killing machine please don’t coddle him.”

     “Oh fuck off Techno. Look at his face!” You squished the bear’s cheeks between your hands, “he wouldn’t hurt a fly!” The bear rumbled loudly in his throat but it was more of a pleasant sound than a threatening one. Technoblade raised an eyebrow at the antics before him, 

     “Leave our guard bear alone and go put on your boots.” You huffed but ultimately decided not to be a brat and listen to your boyfriend for once, you stood beside the door as Steve and he wandered up towards you. An eyebrow was raised and he looked you up and down, 

     “What?”

     “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

He watched you slowly blink before patting the sides of your winter jacket, and he chuckled deeply. He took off his cape and draped it across your shoulders, your face lit up and you snuggled into the fluff. It flowed behind you much more than it did when Technoblade wore it, it was swallowing you up. 

‘She’s so precious! We were correct, good job Techno. Such a good, sweet girl. We’re protecting her from the harsh elements! True! You don’t want her to get sick do you?’

Technoblade snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a soft kiss against the side of his cheek, “Thank you Tech, you made my morning.”

     “Anything for you.”

‘We’d kill for her you know. If anyone even looks at her wrong we’ll tear them apart. Guys, could you lighten up a little? Sheesh. Never she’s our stability.’

     “Shall we?” He held out his arm and you wrapped your hand around it snuggling against his side, he really was down bad for you. The both of you stepped out it was a beautiful sunny day the wind only a gentle chill, Techno grunted as Steve eagerly pulled him forward. He heard you laugh as he stumbled down the steps, he shot you a glare over his shoulder and you flipped him off. 

‘Hot.’ 

Technoblade’s face scrunched up in disbelief, “what the hell chat…” he muttered but the heat he felt in his cheeks showed he agreed with the voices. Once again at his side the two of you walked in the direction of Snow Chester, once you both came to the shoreline Technoblade turned towards you. “Would you like to visit L’manhole someday day soon?”

     “Like you even have to ask me that. I’d love to see the damage you caused.”

‘Our little anarchist in training.~ I for one, Can’t wait for her to join the Syndicate. We don’t want her to remember, we want to protect her. Exactly, her joining could put her at risk.’

     “Then we’ll go soon I promise.” 

     “I look forward to it big guy,” You cooed, pressing a feather-light kiss to his lips that sent electricity down to the tips of his toes. He tilted his head deepening the kiss slightly, his hand cupping your cheek, it was so small in his hand. He loved hearing the soft whimper you made against his lips as his tongue slipped into your mouth but the moment was shattered as he heard Steve let out a low warning growl. He rapidly pulled away and shoved you behind his back, he came face to face with BadBoyHalo, the egg cult leader himself. “Is that BBH?” 

     “Looks like it,” Techno muttered as you slipped out from behind him, the demon was in his smaller form and he waved enthusiastically. “Careful Princess,” Techno murmured hesitantly, watching him skip over, “remember the egg.” 

     “I got this Tech, no worries. I’ll be back in a moment alright.” You met Bad halfway and Technoblade shuffled uncomfortably. 

‘Don’t let her go. He’s gonna hurt her. Keep a steady eye. She’s not fragile but eavesdrop just in case. Be careful, and keep alert. Blood for the Blood God. Not yet shut up.’ 

Technoblade clicked his tongue but did eavesdrop on their conversation allowing Steve to sniff at the ground nearby for bugs.

     “(Y/n) my little muffin! How’re you doing?” 

     “I’m doing good Bad! I haven’t seen you in a while, how're you doing? Still doing egg stuff?”

     “Of course silly! That’s why I wanted to visit you.” He grabbed your hands, “I need your help.” He grazed his claws across the back of your hands, Techno watched you raise a suspicious eyebrow. 

‘That’s my girl. Always being suspicious and alert.’ He mentally praised, and the voice agreed with his though,

     “And that help would be what exactly?”

     “You need to convince Techno to give the egg a second chance!” You stared at him blankly and Technoblade tried not to laugh. 

     “Bad, you’re one of my good friends but I fucking hate the egg too.” His smile faltered a little bit and Technoblade’s hand went to the sword on his hip. Bad’s smile quickly returned and cupped your cheeks,

     “Language dear.” He scolded his smile turning strained, “this just means I need to introduce you to the egg silly! It’s going to love you,” 

     “Bad No.” He began to squeeze your face, nails digging into the flesh of your cheeks. Your eyes flashed with fear and Technoblade was about to step forward and intervene but skidded to a halt as he watched you knee Bad in the stomach. Technoblade’s jaw fell open, as you grabbed Bad’s arm as he bent over in pain and flipped him over your shoulder slamming his back into the snow and dirt. Bad let out a pained sound, but all Technoblade could focus on was the way his cape flew to the side with a flourish as you recovered. Your hair stuck to your cheeks as you glowered at the demon, “Don’t touch me.” You stood up, looking more regal than Techno’s ever seen you look, “Go home Bad, and don’t come back till you’ve sorted yourself out. This egg thing has really fucked with your head.” You walked back over towards Techno and smirked at him the fire in your eyes still burning bright. You brought a hand towards his face and you closed Technoblade’s jaw with your finger, “You’re going to catch flies babe.” His jaw snapped shut as you winked at him, you took Steve from his hand and began to walk away. 

‘Damn the cape’s covering her ass. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE FOCUSING ON?! SHE JUST FLIPPED BADBOYHALO LIKE HE WAS A SACK OF POTATOES! NO FUCKS GIVEN! Stop screaming you’re too loud. Get me a woman who can flip me like that. God, I love strong women. Techno go make out with her right now don’t let her get away with that! We made the right choice with her, maybe she should join the Syndicate. Yeah but then seeing this side wouldn’t be as special-’

     “Tech you coming?” You called over your shoulder, 

‘Yes ma’am. Anything for you. Such a tease.’

He said nothing but followed in your footsteps, hands twitching at his sides, desperately trying to ignore the way the voices purred and begged for him to make out with you right here in the snow. 

As soon as you removed the collar from around Steve’s neck, and hung it back in it’s place by the door Technoblade pushed you up against the wall. You gave a squeak in surprise that he absolutely relished in, maybe he was a little bit of a sadist. His cape fell from your shoulders with a soft clatter as he roughly pressed his lips to yours, he watched your eyes droop closed before closing his eyes as well. “That was the hottest thing we’ve ever fucking seen,” He growled against your lips hoisting you up so that your legs wrapped around his waist. 

     “We?” You said breathlessly as his kisses moved from your lips and down to your neck, 

     “The voices.” He nipped at the skin between your shoulder and neck, enjoying the way your breath hitched in your throat. 

     “Oh,” was all you managed to get out letting your head fall back against the wall with a soft thump. Techno snickered against the burning skin on your neck, you whined a little before meekly murmuring, “Don’t stop. Please Technoblade.” 

‘Well, you heard the little lady. Don’t stop Technoblade. Make her beg some more first. Agreed, that’s what she gets for teasing us after all. Give the girl what she wants already. Who are we to deny her when she looks like that? We live to please one person and that’s her.’

Technoblade panted softly, throughout his life he was never one to deny giving the voices what they wanted. Especially when that something was you.  

[thomasshelbydrabbles]

The Messenger (5/22)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Adeline Taylor (OC)

Warnings: period typical sexism, series typical violence, period typical views of PTSD, period typical racism, blood and gore, depictions of war, mentions of suicidal ideation, angst

Summary: In France, Alfie uses unorthodox methods to teach Adeline to defend herself. In Birmingham, Adeline visits the boxing ring at the insistence of Finn and Isaiah. 

**This is a series, so you should read The School Teacher first if you want to understand everything.**

Note: As the show does, I am loosely using actual events and people from WW1 and other time periods represented in the show. These are fictionalized versions of both events and the people.

Word Count: 5,575

A/N: This one is kinda heavy; lots of violence. Thanks so much for all the love you’re giving this story. Enjoy. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

France, 1914

“Are you even trying to hit me, pet?” Alfie taunted, smirk on his lips. 

Adeline stood, sweat covering her face, hands on her hips, glaring up at him. They’d been sparring in an open field for hours, Alfie determined to help her learn to use her body as a weapon. She spent most of that time dreaming about a warm bath and a soft bed. 

“Get out of your head, girl, or you’ll be dead and I’ll feel guilty for a while before I realize it’s your own fault, yeah, your own fucking fault for not taking this seriously. We’re in a war, pet, a bloody war with death and mean men intent to do harm to each other.” 

“A war?” Adeline asked, voice scornful. “Is that what we’re bloody doing here?” 

“That’s it. Show me some of that fire, pet, but fucking try to hit me, yeah? Right in me bloody face because if you don’t, I’m going to hit you and we both know you’re the pretty one.” 

Adeline’s jaw clenched, her teeth grinding together as she glared at him. At her sides, her hands curled into fists. She dug the heels of her feet into the ground, widening her stance, squaring her shoulders. 

“Ah, see you’re finally going to give an actual fucking effort, then, are you, pet?” Alfie goaded. “Not sure what use it is, probably just wasting me time, right, wasting me bloody time on you. Maybe you’re content to just die out here? Think accidentally stabbing a man, getting fucking lucky one time, right, lucky means you don’t need to learn more? Maybe next time you’ll get lucky again?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him, felt the surge of emotions rise up in her chest. Too many of them to separate out and identify, but they made her feel powerful, caused the blood to pump fiercely through her veins. Alfie moved towards her in measured strides, she tracked his movements, watched the play of muscles as he walked, the way his arms swayed, the tightening of his fists. As he moved within striking range, she intentionally loosened her limbs, relaxed her shoulders, breathed deeply. 

His first swing missed as she ducked to the side, but the second caught her in the stomach. Air wooshed from her lungs as she fought to keep on her feet, but she dug her heels in, refused to give ground. Giving ground meant death. Before he could move back, she brought her knee up, caught his torso. 

“Good, pet,” Alfie grunted. “Keep moving, keep striking. Don’t let up your attack, yeah? Not until they’ve quit breathing. Only give up a fight when they’re dead or you are, yeah? Death decides victory.” 

Even as he coached her, she brought her knee up, hitting him repeatedly in the toroso wanting to make him shut up. When she brought her knee up yet another time, he caught it, threw her over his shoulder. Pain radiated up her spine as she landed on the ground with an oof. 

“Weak spots, fucking weak spots are your strength, pet. Not going to take me down by tickling me with your knee like that, right, not enough power in your tiny little body. Such a tiny fucking thing you are, weak, helpless, laying there on the ground like a slug.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Alfie,” Adeline spat.

He threw his head back as he laughed, deep from his chest. “Kill me? Aw, pet, you can’t even punch me in the fucking face. Like a mouse you are, yeah, a little squeaky, scurrying little thing down there on the ground, right, on the fucking ground because you can’t fucking remember to go for the soft bits, yeah? The fucking soft bits are what will save you, remember?” 

With a growl, she launched herself from the ground, targeting Alfie’s knees, knowing while he was mostly healed, he still favored the left side. She managed to take him to the ground, but she knew because he was built like a fucking bear that she’d not be able to keep him pinned like that for long, his surprise would wear off too quickly for that, so before he could lock his arms around her, she rolled to the side, throwing her arm out to catch him across the throat, another week spot. 

He coughed as she rolled fully away, crouching down, waiting to see his next move. 

“Good, much better,” Alfie complimented as he rolled onto his side. “Still not enough follow through though, right, not enough. Your mercy is your weakness.” 

“Pardon me for not actually killing you,” Adeline spat, tired of this continued argument. 

“Bloody hell, pet. Not worried about you actually killing me, not yet at least. Get you trained up enough, right, get you properly motivated, and yeah, then we’ll talk about restraint during sparring, but now you're just a little thing.” 

Rolling onto her back, Adeline blinked up at the sky. The blue mocked her because it should mean warm air, spring flowers, maybe even sunshine, but it was cold, smelled of shit and she hadn’t seen flowers in so long she might not recognize them again if she did. Fucking France. Her mother spoke about France when she was younger, about the honeymoon her father had taken her on. The sights of Paris, eating the rich food, enjoying the beauty of the art galleries and museums. Part of her began to hate France the moment she first heard the joy in her mother's voice, a tone never used to speak about people, about her daughter, but saved for stories about a city, the lights, the food, the art. Fucking France. 

The next day, Adeline startled when Alfie came back to the clearing dragging a body behind him. The man was bound and gagged, but his eyes held murder in them. She glanced up at Alfie; he hadn’t spoken to her since their training yesterday, and it had her a bit worried because Alfie liked to talk, always saying something to her. While he’d still held her close while they’d slept, keeping her warm against the night chill, he hadn’t whispered his usual goodnight, hadn’t sung her a lullaby, just pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head and fallen asleep. 

“What's this?” 

“Well it’s a fucking man, isn’t it?”

Adeline rolled her eyes, but at least he was speaking to her again. 

“I can see that. Why is he here?” 

Alfie stroked his beard. “Ah, there’s a good fucking question, pet, a good question.” He glanced down at the prisoner. “She’s clever when she thinks about things, right, intelligent when she wants to be. The rest of the time, right, the rest of the time she’s a bloody idiot. Always gotta ask the right questions, don’t waste time with stupid ones, no. This man is here to train you.” 

Adeline blinked stupidly. 

“Tell me the weak points.” 

Adeline locked eyes with Alfie. He was serious. “Eyes, neck, ears, groin, knees, ankles, fingers, toes, solar plexus, ribs.” 

Alfie nodded, stroked his beard. “Remember, pet, death is a mercy. In a fight, it is the only mercy because death is the only time you fucking stop fighting. Theirs or yours. The only question, right, only question in a fight that fucking matters is who wants to live more, you or your opponent?” 

Alfie walked around the bound man, pulled a blade from the back of his belt, crouched down behind him. His eyes flicked up to Adeline, something almost cruel staring back at her. She shivered, but understood. 

“I told him that if he managed to kill you, I’d let him go, right, I’ll let him fucking go back to the war to kill more people.” 

Adeline hissed a breath through her teeth. With a swift move, Alfie cut the bindings. The German soldier sprang up, muttering various, but uninteresting, curses at her as he lunged forward. She sidestepped, almost automatically. Perhaps the constant practice, the repetition of the same moves over and over and over and over paid off. It wasn’t until his fist connected with her face that she felt the implications of the situation Alfie had placed her in. This man wouldn’t stop because she felt tired. Wouldn’t hesitate because he cared. This man would kill her because it meant he would live. 

Licking the blood from the corner of her mouth, Adeline cocked her head to the side. The soldier had at least four inches in height on her, but he was trim, smaller in the torso than Alfie. He came at her again, his leg poised to stomp on her. Before he could, she shot her far leg out, catching him off balance and taking him down at the ankle. Weak point. Rolling to her feet, she stumbled back. When he dove at her, tackling her to the ground again, she realized her mistake. Never stop attacking. Don’t give ground.

His hand came up, wrapped around her neck, squeezed. Her hands scrambled against his, dug into his flesh, but he just squeezed tighter. As it became more difficult to breathe, she heard footsteps moving closer, recognizing Alfie’s gait. She refused to die, but equally refused to be saved by Alfie fucking Solomons. Pulling her hands away from his she worked to get them between their bodies, positioning her thumbs over his eyes, but she struggled to suck air into her lungs, to see around the blurred edges of her vision. She managed to poke his eyes enough for him to release her neck. As she gulped much needed air back into her lungs, she pulled her elbow back and thrust it against his neck, making him move from her again. This time, she followed, aiming her blows at any soft spot she could identify through the tears in her eyes, tears of pain, of frustration, of anger. Kidney. Rib. Finally managed a solid kick to his ankle that made him howl in pain and flop onto his back. She straddled him, rained blows down against his body. 

“Mercy, pet. He’s been through enough, right, now you show him mercy.” 

She glared up at Alfie who stood above her, midday sun at his back making him almost glow. Again, her hesitation, her pause, cost her the advantage. The man punched her hard on the side of the head, knocking her to the ground. She worked to clear the dots from her vision. When he lunged at her, she kicked up with her feet, catching him in the torso and sending him flying over her head. Moving quickly, she once more straddled him, grabbed his face between her hands, she smashed his head back against the unforgiving ground beneath them. 

“Why won’t you just fucking die?” she screamed as she continued to bash his head back, feeling the blood coat her fingers, seep between her fingernails. His skull fractured in her hands, but she couldn’t stop. 

Spent of energy, she released what remained of his head. The sight of his mangled skull, failed to bother her as it should have, as it would have a few weeks earlier. Glancing over her shoulder she took in the way Alfie stood there, pensive look on his face as he stroked his beard. 

“Why?”

She hated how small her voice sounded, how fragile it felt to voice the question aloud. 

“I won’t always be around to protect you, pet. Not here in this fucking war. I saw your face, right, saw how you looked when you came back from the meeting with George. Never seen you so scared, pet. Not when you held my hand the first day we met, not when you drug me to the trenches, not when the bombs were landing around our heads, right? Whatever he told you made you afraid. So I’m teaching you to find the soft spots, pet. Everyone has them, right, fucking everyone, even George. So you find them, and you push them, and push them, and fucking push until they give.” 

Adeline moved from the body of the man she’d killed and sat on the ground next to it, knees tucked up to her chest, arms curled around them as though holding herself together. Maybe she was.  

“Have you found my weak spot, Alfie?” 

“I have,” Alfie replied with a solemn nod. 

She nodded. He didn’t elaborate. She didn’t ask. He held a hand out to her, and even after all of this, all of the blood and the pain and the emotional toll he’d put her through, she placed her hand in his because she trusted him, even if sometimes she wondered if she shouldn’t. 

 Birmingham, 1921

Adeline stood to the side of the boxing ring, watching Isaiah teach Finn how to throw a punch. King Maine stood outside the ring, watching, jeering as Isaiah continually landed blows to Finn’s body, while Finn struggled to get a solid hit in. When she’d first entered the boxing arena, King Maine gave her a long, hard look. Of course, the only place worse to find an unescorted female than a pub was perhaps exactly where she stood, in a boxing ring. Men in just their shorts beating the piss out of each other. She scoffed. With few exceptions, she could take each of these so-called fighters to the floor with one hand behind her back. Given how Alfie'd trained her all those years ago, she’d likely kill more than one of them in the process.    

“Come on, Finn, act like a fucking Shelby, quit taking it on the chin, lad,” King Maine told him, frustration lacing his voice. 

The boys had asked her to come watch them. Finn wanted to prove himself, to be like his brothers, but he was still so young. She feared the gap between Isaiah and Finn would become a problem for the boys as Isaiah stepped into adulthood. Soon to age out of school, she could see the makings of a Blinder in him already, and knew the boys, especially John, had started pulling him in deeper, giving him more dangerous things to do. Finn though, Finn remained on the sidelines, still running errands, at most acting as a lookout. 

When Isaiah managed to knock Finn into the wall, she’d had enough. Some boxing instructor King Maine was. Tosser. She whistled, drawing the boy’s attention. They both blinked at her, chests heaving as they caught their breath. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Finn? The point of all this is to learn how to keep yourself alive, and if Isaiah here with his terrible footing and weak right hook, can get at your face, then so can anyone.” 

She watched the offense spring up on both their faces. She’d insulted their manliness, attacked their pride. Good. Maybe they’d fucking learn then. 

“What you on about, Adeline,” Finn argued, the adrenaline coursing through his veins making him brave and stupid in equal measure. “What would a girl know about fighting anyway? Just cause Tom let’s you get a shot in because he’s bloody in love with you don’t mean the rest of us will.” 

She watched the horror draw on Isaiah’s face, saw him back away as though he could distance himself from his friend’s idiotic ramblings. 

“Is that right, Finn Shelby? Think your brother let’s me get a hit in, hm? Thomas fucking Shelby allows me to strike his face just because he loves me,” Adeline asked, laughter in her voice. 

“I’m sure he didn't mean no ‘arm, Miss Taylor,” Isaiah interjected. 

“Oh, I’m sure he did. Shelby’s don’t say things they don’t mean. Isn’t that right, Finn?”

She watched him gulp, saw him process what he’d said. Still, he squared his shoulders, doubled down. 

“Alright,” Adeline motioned to Isaiah, “Get the fuck out of the ring. Learn a thing or two.” 

Knowing better than to argue, Isaiah did as he was told. As she climbed into the ring, she saw King Maine’s eyes grow wide, watched sweat bead out across his brow. 

“I hope you bloody well know what the fuck your doing, miss,” he said. 

She scoffed. “Finn won’t land any punch I don’t allow.” 

Finn glanced up at her, put his arms up in a traditional boxing position. But, she could read the fear on his face, practically smell it in the air. 

“If you piss yourself, Finn, I’ll make sure John’s the first to know about it.” 

With an angry noise, Finn shot out a blind jab. Adeline caught his fist in her hand, watched Finn startle before she released it. 

“Control your punches. You arms are smaller than mine; I could snap them like a toothpick. Plant your feet, use your torso and roll into the punch. Use your whole body with it. Again.” 

Finn glared at her, but she watched him reassess his body. He threw another jab, this one with more heat behind it; she felt it this time when she captured his fist in her hand. 

“Better. Tell me, where does the power of your punch come from, hm? Think it’s in your hand, or your arm, so you focus all of your energy there. Wrong. It comes from your body, from the movement of your hips.” 

“If you know so much you throw a bloody punch!” 

Adeline tsked. “I’ll not throw a punch at you, Finn. I’d break your poor little face.” 

She glanced up at King Maine. “Got any lads ‘round here that would stand here, let me punch their face?” 

He smirked at her. “I’m sure they’d all bloody volunteer if you were anyone other than Tommy Shelby’s woman.” 

She nodded. “Twenty pounds to the man who can stand here and land a blow.” 

A young man, older than Isaiah, but younger than John sauntered up to the ring. “Don’t care whose cock she sucks, no woman’s going to land a punch on me.” 

Adeline smiled as Finn and Isaiah exchanged angry glances. “Excellent. You’ll do nicely. Finn, Isaiah, pay attention.” She glanced up at the young man. “Name?” 

“Seamus.” 

“Alright, nice to meet you. Step on in, if you please.” 

They’d drawn quite an audience by now, she could see money exchanging hands. She glanced at Isaiah, gave him a look. As he followed her gaze he gave her a nod. No reason for the Blinders not to make a profit off of the entertainment she was providing today. Besides, no bets happened in Small Heath without the Blinders’ getting their cut. 

Seamus squared up to her as Finn and Isaiah moved out of the ring. They took spots next to King Maine who looked as though he might pass out. Poor man. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Seamus asked. 

“Aye. I’m sure, and I promise I won’t hit you too hard.” 

Seamus laughed. Before Adeline could set her own stance, Seamus threw a punch. It was wide, and sloppy, but it had nearly caught the edge of her cheek. Alfie would have hit her with his cane for her distraction. She rolled her shoulders as she turned, skirting the corner of the ring. He shuffled his feet forward, threw a jab she easily blocked. 

“Did you watch his arm, boys?” Adeline called, keeping her eyes trained on her opponent. “Did you see the way his body moved with the punch, how he rolled into it? Not bad form.” 

Seamus’ face drew into a frown. He moved in again, this time with a right cross that Adeline blocked with her arm.

“Good,” Adeline complimented, a bright smile on her face. “I can tell you’ve practiced that. Now Finn, watch how my feet move, notice that I haven’t stopped moving since he squared up.” 

She moved her feet a bit to the left, watched his eyes flicker over to the side, exchanging looks with his buddies. She lunged forward, landed a jab to his right eye. Seamus pulled back, hand moving up to cover his eye. 

“Always keep your arm up. No reason he couldn’t have blocked that punch had he wanted to. Now, Seamus here is a big, strapping lad, isn’t he? There’s no way I can beat him with just my arms, so I won’t try. What I will do, Finn, is plant my left foot and move my right foot back a bit, see?”

Seamus moved forward. 

“And I draw him in, then step forward with my right foot, pulling my whole body around and - ”

Adeline did as she described, landing a right hook across the side of Seamus’ face. He teetered for a moment before falling to the ground. Adeline stepped out of the ring, brushed her hair back from her face, smoothed down her skirt, and looked up at the boys. They both had their mouths open, a bit like fish caught on a line. 

“Now, you boys get back in there and use your fucking feet.” 

They both nodded and muttered, “Yes, Miss Taylor.” 

She glanced over at King Maine. “You can start breathing again. No one’s coming for your eyes. I’m fine, as I told you I’d be.” 

He just nodded at her, eyes comically wide as he stared at her. Before either could say anything, the sound of Arthur screaming cut through the air. Adeline dashed across to his ring, saw the bloody mess of the body beneath him and without thinking, shoved her way forward. Grabbing Arthur around the waist, she threw her body, tumbling them both to the ground. 

“Get the boy out of here!” 

Just as she got the words out, Arthur sprung loose. She looked at his eyes, noted the vacancy in them, the anger, the pain. He wasn’t thinking, wasn’t there. Clamoring to her feet, Adeline hugged the outside of the ring, moving slowly, keeping her eyes on Arthur. With his attention on her, the lads were able to move the poor kid from the ring. She thought she saw his chest moving, so maybe he’d live. Now though, she needed to focus on Arthur, get him back to himself, back in his own head. 

With a roar, he lunged for her. Adeline sidestepped, watched Arthur crash himself into the wall, unable to change or stop the momentum he’d built with his attack. Of course this only fueled the anger she could practically see coursing through his veins. He threw a wild punch that Adeline could swear she heard move past her ear. This was no untrained boy, or sloppy, wannabe boxer. This was Arthur Fucking Shelby. 

She caught him in the kidney with a low jab as she moved around, slipping under his arm. Making him chase her should help tire him out, make his movements sloppier. Someone wrapped their arms around Arthur from behind, trying to pull him back. He threw an elbow, and whoever it was cried out. 

“Don’t!” Adeline called. “Leave him to me. Go get John.” 

Arthur shook his head as though trying to dislodge something. But he kept throwing punches, and each one got just a bit closer to her. His fists were covered in blood, sweat dripped down his face as he panted like a horse that had just been put through the gallops. Yet he showed no indication of slowing, of tiring. She lost track of time as she danced around the ring, dodging blows, but she could feel herself begin to tire. Arthur left his right side open and Adeline landed a strong jab to the right side of his face, knocking his head back. Blood poured from his nose as his gaze darted back to her, snarl on his lips. 

She saw the arm pull back, knew the blow would come for the side of her face. This time, she was a half-second too late. Bright, exquisite pain bloomed on her cheek as her head snapped to the side, taking her down to the ground in a rush of pain and dust and blood. 

“Adeline!” 

Over the sound of the blood pounding in her ears, she heard John’s voice, his footsteps. 

As though he heard the name, recognized it, Arthur paused, body rigid as he hovered over Adeline, right arm pulled back, ready to strike again. 

“Oh fuck.” 

The words barely passed his lips before John tackled him to the ground, rolling them both away from Adeline. She laid there, panting, eyes closed as she realized how close she’d come to a serious beating. Sure she’d hit him a couple of times, but it was like anytime she had sparred with Alfie, she couldn't make herself engage that part of her brain. Alfie said he’d taught her too well, made her too unstoppable. Created a part of herself, a part she deluded herself into thinking was all Arke, that she feared. Like recognized like, and she saw her own anger, her own aggression reflected in the way Arthur moved in the ring, the way he threw himself into the punch - not just his body, but his soul. 

“Addie!” John’s voice was frantic as he knelt next to her, wiping the blood from her face. “Fuck, are you hurt anywhere else?” 

She shook her head. “I’m fine, John. Just a little bruise.” 

“A little bruise?” John’s voice was scathing. “He could have fucking killed you. What the fuck were you thinking getting in the ring with him?”

“How’s the boy?” Adeline asked, ignoring John’s questions.

“The boy?”

Adeline nodded again. “The boy Arthur was killing before I distracted him.” 

“He’s not dead,” Finn said from somewhere outside the ring. 

“Good.” 

“Oh god, angel,” Arthur’s voice sounded utterly wrecked. She looked over John’s shoulder, saw him stumbling his way towards them. 

Before he could get close, John jumped up and punched him in the face. “Get the fuck away from her.” 

“John!”

Adeline stood to her feet, walked to where John and Arthur stood, glaring at each other.

John glanced at her. “Do you see what you fucking did?” 

“John!” Adeline snapped. “Family business. Get him home, cleaned up.”

“Add - ”

“I know, John. This isn’t done, but not here. Family fucking business. Get him home. I’ll see to the boy and be on my way right after.” 

John wanted to argue, she knew he did, but he also knew she was right. This was family business. He grabbed Arthur by the arm and drug him from the ring. When they were gone, Adeline walked over to King Maine. 

“The boy?”

“Over here.” 

Adeline followed to where they had the boy. He was breathing, but that was about all the good news she had for him. 

“Get him to the hospital. Send the bills to the Peaky Blinders on my orders.” 

King Main nodded. “Yes, Miss Taylor.”

“What’s the boy’s name?”

“Eduard Ross.” 

Adeline nodded. She left the men to deal with the boy. Her own boys waited for her at home, and there would be so much work to do. As she walked, she moved her jaw, noting the soreness, feeling the dried blood crack as she moved her face. Nothing broken, then. Good.

“Holy Christ,” Polly said as she walked into the house. “Tommy’s going to lose his bloody mind when he sees you.” 

Adeline nodded. “I know.” 

Polly herded her into the living room and sat her on the couch. She felt the warm rag against her face, clearing away the blood. 

“Where are the boys?”

“Out back. John is tending to Arthur.” 

“Tending?”

“Throwing buckets of cold water on him until he gets his fucking head straight.” 

Adeline nodded. 

“That was a foolish thing you did, my dear.” 

“No, it wasn’t. I couldn’t let him kill that boy, Pol. He’s got enough death on his conscience.” 

“And you think it’s better for him to know he’s hit you instead?”

Adeline nodded. “Aye. I do. Much better. Can’t snap him out of it any other way.” 

Polly’s eyes narrowed as she turned Adeline to face her. “Did you let him hit you?” 

Adeline shrugged. “Not exactly.” 

The back door opened and John walked in first, noting Adeline’s presence with a nod. “Arthur’s putting his clothes on, then he’ll be in.” 

“Good. Now, you two leave. Me and Arthur have to talk.”

“I’m not bloody well leaving you here with him after what he’s done to you.” 

“I’m not asking, John. I’m telling you to fuck off.” 

John crossed his arms, glared at her. She sighed and rolled her eyes. Glazing over at Polly she saw a similar stubborn look on her face. 

“Polly, please. What I have to say to Arthur needs to be said in private. He won’t harm me.”

“He already has,” John argued. “Bloody well could have killed you.” 

“John,” Polly said. “Let’s do as she says.”

Knowing he was outnumbered, John nodded his head. “If he touches you again, I’ll kill him.”

Adeline nodded. “Aye. I know you will.” 

They left the house just as Arthur came in from the back. He looked absolutely destroyed. 

“Come sit down, Arthur.” 

Silently, he shuffled into the living room and sat heavily on the couch. Head held in his hands, he refused to look up at Adeline. She moved from the chair and lit a cigarette before standing in what she’d quickly come to consider Polly’s favorite spot by the fireplace and leaned her elbow against it. 

“It’s funny,” Adeline began. “Everyone ‘round here talks about how similar me and Tommy are, and we have a similar stubborn streak, but we’re quite different from each other. Good thing, too. What’s curious though is no one speaks about how similar you and I are, Arthur.” 

His head snapped up at that, disbelief on his face. 

“Aye. I know what you see when you look in a mirror,” Adeline told him gently. “I know because it’s the same thing I see when I look in a mirror. You always call me angel, and I let you because it makes you happy, but I’m a monster, Arthur. That’s what I see when I look in a mirror. She’s just there, hovering in the corner of my eye. I let myself think it’s Arke or it’s what France did to me, but I’m a terrible liar, even to myself.”

“Angel - ”

“You’ll sit there and listen to what I have to tell you, Arthur Shelby,” Adeline scolded. She took a long inhale of tobacco-laced smoke into her lungs. 

“Alright.” 

Adeline nodded. “Tommy would tell you to lock it away. To shut the door on the war, on the voices in your head because that’s what he did. Good for him, but for us, for you? For me? There’s no door to shut because it’s not separate, that raging, clawing thing inside. No door to hold it back. You saw me beat a man nearly to death with my own hands. What you don’t know is knowing he’s alive, knowing that I didn’t kill him is what keeps me up at night because it feels like a fucking failure. Good people don’t have those thoughts, Arthur. Good people think about how nice it is that they didn’t kill someone.”

She took another long drag from the cigarette. “I don’t often get nightmares anymore. I think I’m too broken inside for them, but when I do, it’s always the same one. And it’s a memory, like Tommy has of the tunnels, but mine is a day in Belgium. My hands are drenched in blood, so much that you can’t see a single speck of skin through it. Below me are dead bodies, one small, one large. The man I was after used a boy from the village as a human shield. Thought because I was a woman I wouldn’t continue. I tore my way through the child as though he were a piece of paper. Didn’t realize at first, what I’d done, whose blood I had on my hands. When I did? I killed another dozen German soldiers to make myself feel better.”

“Did it work?”

“Aye,” Adeline admitted with a slow nod. “God help me, it did. I still see the boy, his lifeless body, his blood, his eyes open, staring up at me with terror, but the weight of his death is less than it should be because after a point, I just stopped counting the bodies, stopped measuring the blood because it would drown me if I didn’t. I came to Birmingham to start over, to reinvent myself, to do something good.”

She smirked at herself. “Foolish, but I tried. You can’t numb it. You can’t close the door on it.”

“I know I’m broken, can’t fix me bloody head, so what the fuck do you do with it?”

“Use it.” 

Arthur blinked up at her. 

“Not on idiot children in the boxing ring. And,” Adeline paused, pointed at Arthur with her cigarette, “I’m banning you from the boxing ring. If I ever catch you fighting civilians again, I’ll kill you myself. Do you hear me, Arthur?” 

He nodded. “I hear you, angel. I hear you.” 

“Good. Because I’m sending you to London with the rest of the muscle for Alfie.” 

“Banishing me?”

Adeline smirked. “If it helps you to think of it that way. But, and I know you won’t believe me because it’s a ridiculous thing to say, but Alfie will be good for you.”

“Tommy won’t like it.” 

“Don’t give a fuck. This isn’t Tommy’s decision. It’s mine. You’ll leave for London in the morning.”

Part 6

Master List

Tag List: @stevie75 @mootiemoose​​ @ohshititsfenharel​​ @fairy-witch-bitch @portents​​ @alreadybroken-ts​​ @books-livre @missymurphy1985 @lovemissyhoneybee​ @theshelbyclan​ @highgardenrosexx @dolllol2405

[chicgeekgirl89]

Skateboards and Stickers and Stubborn Paramedics

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes, Nancy Gillian, Tommy Vega

Summary: When T.K. takes a spill at a skate park he's sure he's fine. Completely. Nothing broken at all. He's a paramedic. He checked. It turns out paramedics make pretty bad patients.

CW: Slight mentions of drug use and relapsing

A/N: This was supposed to just be a whumpy little fic and it...quickly got out of control. A thousand bazillion thanks to @bluenet13​ who beta'ed the crap out of it for me more times than she should have and put up with my incessant complaining about it. Without her, this fic would not have happened.

Written for the @badthingshappenbingo​ prompt “Broken Ribs.” 

AO3

                                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Oof.”

It was a small noise, the only one that could escape T.K.’s lips as he flew through the air and crashed unceremoniously into the ground. Hard.

It should have been painful, but instead everything went immediately numb as the breath left his lungs and he lay there, completely stunned on the concrete. “Watch your back bro!” an unfamiliar voice called as the sound of wheels skated dangerously close to his head.

T.K. would have responded, but all that came out was a strained wheeze as his lungs tried to remember how to function. “Holy shit! T.K.! Hey are you okay?” 

Nancy came directly into his line of vision, eyes clouded with worry. “Uggghhh,” was all T.K. could manage, still trying desperately for breath, a hand going to his chest as if that would somehow help.

Nancy turned away, fire in her eyes as she yelled at someone nearby. “Dude what the hell? Didn’t you see him standing there?”

“Oh god,” T.K. croaked out, finally able to draw some air into his lungs. 

“Don’t move,” Nancy said, switching immediately from irate friend to paramedic. “That kid took you down hard. You must have flown eight feet.”

They’d taken a call at a skate park for a kid, Evan, with a knee injury. He was about fourteen and the injury wasn’t great, but it wasn’t critical either. T.K. had been packing things up to take back to the ambulance when someone had slammed into him from the side and sent him flying.

“I’m okay,” he grunted, trying to ease himself into a sitting position. He hissed as lightning shot through his ribs and seriously considered lying back down and staying there forever.

“Cap!” Nancy yelled, waving to get her attention before she turned back to T.K. “What hurts?”

“I’m fine,” T.K. said, even as his ribs and hip began to throb. He was going to have some spectacular bruises within the hour.

“Did you hit your head?”

“No,” T.K. exhaled slowly, trying to control the shockwaves of pain now radiating through his body. “I landed on my side. My skull is fully intact so you can skip the jokes about brain damage.”

“What happened?” Tommy asked, kneeling beside them.

“Some kid nearly killed T.K.,” Nancy said indignantly as she reached for T.K.’s wrist and began to take his pulse.

“It was an accident,” T.K. said, still trying to assess the damage and decide how badly he was hurt.

“Can you move your arms and legs?” Tommy asked.

T.K. did some sarcastic jazz hands. “Happy? Can we go now?”

“Just take a second to catch your breath and then we’ll get you up and check you out,” Tommy said, eyeing him critically. “You might not be feeling it yet, but I think you’re going to in about five minutes.”

“And while we’re waiting, I’m going to go murder that punk teenager,” Nancy announced, getting to her feet.

“Nancy,” Tommy said, a tone of exasperated warning in her voice.

“Cap he needs to at least apologize!”

“Just let him go,” T.K. said. “He’s a kid. It’s not a big deal.”

“You can barely even sit up right now. How is that not a big deal?”

“Nancy, why don’t you go wait with Evan in the rig?” Tommy suggested.

Nancy grumbled but did as she was told. T.K. sucked in another shallow breath and tried to gauge his pain. His ribs and hip throbbed and his elbow stung, but if he was completely still it was manageable. He had a feeling moving was going to hurt like a bitch though.

“Talk to me T.K.,” Tommy said.

“I’m good,” he lied immediately. “Just knocked the wind out of me, the rest is bumps and bruises.”

“Are you sure?” Tommy asked.

T.K. nodded. “Help me up?”

She took his elbow and helped him to his feet. The world went a little grey as pain stabbed at him, making him feel like he’d lost his breath all over again.

“You all right?” Tommy asked.

T.K. nodded, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to push through it. “Yeah, I’ll be okay. Ego’s bruised, that’s all.”

She gave him a knowing smile. “I think it might be a little more than that. Come on. They can check you out at the ER when we drop Evan off.”

T.K. nodded and slowly moved toward the ambulance. God, he was really going to feel this in the morning. “I’ll drive,” Tommy said, when she saw the direction he was heading.

“I’m fine,” he told her.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Get in the passenger side T.K. Relax for a minute.”

By the time they arrived at the hospital he had things under control. It was just pain, probably bruised ribs. He could manage pain. He did it all the time. There was no reason to worry Tommy, Nancy, or anybody else at the station. He was a paramedic after all; he was perfectly capable of assessing his own medical needs.

“Hey, Trina, can you take a look at T.K. here?” Tommy caught the eye of a passing nurse after they finished dropping Evan off. “He took a little tumble at the skate park.”

“Cap, I’m good,” T.K. insisted.

“You’re bleeding,” Nancy said around a mouthful of lollipop that she’d snagged from the nurse’s stand. 

T.K. twisted his elbow around to find that blood had dripped halfway down his arm. He hadn’t even noticed with all the other pain radiating through his body. “It’s not that bad.”

“If you’re good maybe they’ll give you a sticker,” Nancy teased, a sparkle in her eyes.

If they were at the firehouse T.K. would have given her the finger but instead he stuck his tongue out as Trina led him to a curtained off bed.

“I don’t need an exam,” T.K. told her. “Just throw me a bandaid and I’ll be good to go.”

“You’re already here,” Trina told him with as she reached for some antiseptic. “You may as well let me clean it out.”

T.K. rolled his eyes but let her flush out the relatively minor wound and cover it up with gauze and tape. “Anything else hurting?” she asked.

“I’m sore, but I’ll live,” T.K. told her, even as his ribs continued to burn like hell. It didn’t matter whether they were broken or not anyway, he told himself. The only thing that would heal them was time, and either way it wasn’t like he was going to take any narcotics.

Trina eyed him warily. “You’re sure? I don’t want Tommy coming for my head because I let one of her people go home hurt.”

T.K. flashed her a charming smile. “I promise. I’ll grab some ice at the firehouse and be good to go.”

“Okay, well, feel better,” she said as she started cleaning up.

“What’s the report?” Tommy asked when he reappeared.

“Everything’s intact,” T.K. said. He was pretty sure anyway. He wouldn’t be fully sure until he got back to the firehouse and took a look for himself, but really, he’d fallen over, not been pushed off a twelve story building. How much damage could one rowdy teenager really do?

“Are you sure?” Nancy asked, eyeing him critically. “You’re not twenty-one anymore dude, people your age don’t just bounce back from that kind of accident.”

“Nancy, you are two years older than me,” T.K. said, giving her a withering look.

“Mmmm true, which is why I had the wisdom not to let a punk ass kid at the skate park run my ass over,” she pointed out. 

“All right children,” Tommy said with a smile. “If we’re all set here, let’s get back into service. Lot of lives out there that need saving.”

By the time they rolled back up the firehouse, T.K. was really looking forward to an icepack. His ribs throbbed in time with his heartbeat and all he wanted was to lie down and relax. 

“Y’all were gone a while,” Paul said as they entered the kitchen.

“T.K. got creamed by a kid on a skateboard,” Nancy said immediately.

“Nance, seriously?” T.K. asked, reaching for a bag of frozen peas in the freezer.

She shrugged. “What? They were going to find out anyway. It’ll probably end up on Youtube.”

“A kid on a skateboard? Are you okay?” Marjan asked.

“Yes, I’m fine,” T.K. said. “Glad somebody cares,” he shot a pointed look at Nancy who pretended not to see.

“He flew like twelve feet,” she told the group.

“Earlier you said it was eight,” T.K. reminded her.

“Damn,” Mateo said. “That’ll probably go viral. You’re gonna have competition Marj.”

“Thank you all so much for your concern,” T.K. said, giving them a mock salute with the peas. “If anybody needs me I’ll be on the couch.”

He took a brief detour into the bathroom, checking to make sure it was empty before he locked the door for privacy. He set his jaw and untucked his shirt from his pants quickly undoing his uniform buttons and then pulling up the t-shirt underneath. He grimaced as he took in the bruising already trailing down his side. Biting his lip and steeling himself he slowly and painfully pressed his fingers against his rib cage, letting out a pained moan even as he forced himself to continue his examination. 

By the time he was done his hands were shaking, but he hadn’t felt anything grating or moving, so it was likely this was just terrible bruising, not broken ribs. Not that it mattered either way, they still sent stabbing pains through him with every breath. 

It was an incredible relief to finally collapse into the couch and press the cold vegetables against his torso, but it didn’t last long. Within half an hour they were back out, the entire 126 this time, to respond to a motor vehicle accident. 

Things were going fine until they went to lift the gurney into the rig. “On three,” T.K. told Nancy. “One, two, three.”

T.K. lifted, but the gurney didn’t budge. Normally that would have been a minor annoyance. But today it was enough to almost send him to his knees as his ribs angrily protested the unexpected movement with a crescendo of pain. He made a half choked sound, just barely stopping himself from swearing or dropping the gurney completely.

“Whoa, hey!” their patient, Mr. Randall, protested, grabbing the sides as Nancy’s end went up, while T.K.’s stayed down.

“Sorry,” T.K. panted an apology, trying not to whimper or cry as pain continued to tear through him.

“You okay Strand?” Nancy asked lowering her end of the gurney so their victim wasn’t completely reclined.

“Yeah. Gurney’s stuck again.” T.K. ground his teeth together, sweat beading on his forehead as he inhaled slowly through his nose, trying not to breathe too deeply and cause himself further pain.

“I thought they fixed it after last shift,” Nancy said.

It had been sticky for the last few weeks and they’d finally gotten a tech out during B shift. “Apparently not,” he said. 

“Here switch with me and I’ll try it,” Nancy told him. “It likes me better anyway. I have a delicate touch,” she told their victim with a wink.

“Can you just get me in?” Mr. Randall asked, holding a bloody piece of gauze to his forehead and clearly not amused by the situation at all. 

“Not a problem,” Nancy said, switching spots with T.K. “On my count this time.”

Their second attempt went much more smoothly and they got Mr. Randall in without further issue. “Hey,” Nancy caught T.K.’s arm as he moved to head for the driver’s seat. “You sure you’re all right? You look really pale all of a sudden.”

“I’m good.

She did not look convinced. “You’re breathing weird and moving like you’re eighty.”

“Again with the age stuff?”

“T.K. I’m serious, are you okay? That was a hard hit this morning, if you need the rest of shift off, you know Cap’ll—“

“Nancy, I swear to you I’m fine,” he said, throwing on a well practiced, convincing smile. “Probably pulled something this morning, but I’ll live.”

She shook her head and climbed into the ambulance. “I told you Strand. You’re not a young man anymore.”

“Haha,” T.K. groused as he moved to the driver’s side. 

“You want me to mix up your Metamucil when we get back to the firehouse?”

T.K. ignored her and slowly put on his seatbelt, grimacing as the tight band pressed against his ribcage. What had been tolerably painful before had now ratcheted up to the point that he thought he might actually throw up. He leaned his head against the seat back and exhaled slowly, trying to relieve some of the agonizing pressure in his chest.

The side door opened and Tommy hopped in. “Ready to roll?” she asked.

“You sure you want Grandpa to drive Cap?” Nancy called loudly. “He might not get us there very fast!”

“Two years Nancy!” T.K. snapped back as he started the engine.

By the time the shift ended his entire body ached and his ribs were screaming at him. Arriving home all he could think about was falling into bed and sleeping some of it off. Carlos wouldn’t be back until late and typically T.K. would have waited up, but tonight he only managed to eat a few bites of leftovers, shower, and then essentially crawl, pathetically and painfully, into bed.

He was woken two hours later by a soft kiss on his lips. “Hey,” Carlos said quietly, caressing his face. He was still in his uniform, the fabric brushing against T.K.’s arm as he leaned in closer.

“Hi,” T.K. mumbled, body still heavy with sleep. 

“Hey,” Carlos whispered again, voice low in his ear, kisses trailing down his neck, nuzzling his nose against T.K.’s collarbone. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you too,” T.K. said, brain trying to remember why he’d been asleep and why everything ached so badly.

“How much?” Carlos asked, a sexy smile spreading across his face, and even in his hazy, pained state, T.K. wanted him. So when his mouth captured T.K.’s in a deep, needy kiss, T.K. kissed him right back.

Until Carlos’ hands slid under his t-shirt. T.K. pulled away with a ragged gasp, curling in on himself, a half strangled moan escaping his lips. Right. Ribs. 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Carlos asked, hovering over him, frozen in concern, clearly horrified that he’d somehow broken his boyfriend. 

“It’s fine,” T.K. managed. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not,” Carlos said, reaching over and turning on the lamp. “Did I hurt you? I barely touched you.”

“Ah, there was a little accident at work today,” T.K. said, his voice strained.

“An accident?” Carlos cocked his head questioningly. “What kind of accident?”

“Some kid knocked me over at the skate park,” T.K. said, still trying to breathe normally, even as tears pricked at his eyes. “It’s no big deal.”

“If you’re in pain it’s a big deal,” Carlos told him. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did anyone look at you?”

“Carlos,” T.K. caught his face in both hands and forced a smile. “I’m telling you, it’s fine. I’m just sore. You don’t need to freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Carlos said calmly. “I’m trying to decide if you’re downplaying this because you don’t like to be coddled when you’re hurt.”

“Oh that’s—“

“The exact truth and you know it. You got shot and a week later you were pulling people out of a burning bus. And after the head injury you tried to go back to work two days later and almost passed out in the bathroom,” Carlos reminded him. “Let me see.”

T.K. let go of Carlos’ face and dropped his hands to the bed with an overdramatic thump. “For the record this is very not sexy,” he said as Carlos reached for the hem of his t-shirt.

Carlos paused and fixed him with a look. “What’s not sexy is you being hurt and not saying anything.”

“Well it’s not like you really gave me a chance, just barging in here and having your way with me.”

“Texting exists for a reason. You could have told me hours ago and I wouldn’t have come in here like that.” Carlos said. He pulled T.K.’s t-shirt gently up over his ribs, eyes widening. “Oh my god.” 

Purple bruising covered his entire side, extending down his hip below the line of his boxers. T.K. raised his head a bit and squinted at his torso. “It’s just some bruised ribs.”

“T.K. there is no way these are just bruised,” Carlos said, face gravely concerned.

“Hey, who’s the paramedic here?”

“I have had bruised ribs, this looks…really bad. Nobody looked at this?”

“I examined myself.”

“God, T.K.” Carlos sat back with a sigh. “Sometimes I swear…”

He slipped off the bed and walked toward the door. “Where are you going?” T.K. asked.

“To get you ice.”

“I don’t need—“

“Uh uh, don’t even talk to me right now. You’re lucky all I’m doing is getting you ice and not dragging you to the emergency room.”

“Okay, but then we’ll finish what you started?” T.K. asked hopefully

Carlos turned around and glared at him. “Are you out of your mind? You really think you can have sex like this? Absolutely not T.K., I’m sleeping on the couch so I don’t accidentally hurt you in the night.”

“What? No, Carlos come on!” T.K. tried to sit up, but pain shot through him at the sudden movement and he let out a grunt, a hand going instinctively to his side.

“Stop moving before you puncture a lung or something,” Carlos ordered in exasperation, but instead of leaving he returned to the bed, worry all over his face. “Hey look at me, I need you to be honest, do we need to go to the hospital?” 

T.K. shook his head. “It’s not that bad.”

“You sound like you can’t breathe.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because it hurts, not because I’m incapable,” T.K. huffed. “This not life threatening, I promise.”

“T.K. why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Carlos asked. “You were in a firehouse full of people perfectly capable of helping you.”

T.K. would have squirmed under the intensity of his gaze if he’d been able to move without agony. “I didn’t think it was that bad. And I didn’t want anyone to worry.”

Carlos shook his head, but let the matter drop; although T.K. had a feeling they would be finishing this conversation at a later date. “What do you need? Did you take anything?” he asked.

T.K. shook his head. “Just some ice.”

Carlos hesitated. “I think you should take some Advil.”

T.K. shook his head automatically. “You know I—“

“I know you don’t like to. And I get it. But you look like a mess and Advil will help with the swelling. You’ve done it before and been all right. And I know,” Carlos said quickly, “that that doesn’t guarantee anything. I’m not going to force you. But you don’t deserve to be in pain like this. And we need to do something to help that inflammation.”

He was right, and T.K. knew it, he just didn’t like it. He’d taken OTC pain meds plenty of times with no issues, but that didn’t stop the whispers of anxiety that told him any pills at all were a very slippery slope downward to a life he no longer wanted. 

Carlos kissed his forehead. “Think about it while I’m downstairs.”

His boyfriend returned quickly, ice in hand along with a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water. T.K. winced and closed his eyes as Carlos gently pressed the ice to his ribs. “Okay?” Carlos asked.

T.K. nodded. 

“Did you think about the Advil?” 

“I don’t want it,” he said stubbornly. He’d made it through a significant head injury without, some ribs were definitely not worth the minor risk.

Carlos reached for his hand. “Do you trust me?”

T.K. opened his eyes and frowned. “Yes, of course I trust you.”

“Do you trust that if I’m asking you to do this, it’s because I think it’s the best choice? That I think it’s medically necessary and appropriate?”

“I trust you,” he said honestly. “I just don’t know if I can trust me.”

Because that was the crux of it. Carlos was too good of a human to leave him if he should relapse, and T.K. was bad enough to ask him to stay. He was clean now and had no plans of changing that, but he’d seen others backslide faster than he could have imagined, people far stronger than him. And he was scared that if he did, he wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away from Carlos and save them both the heartache. Moments like this thrust the razor’s edge he walked into sharper clarity than he liked. And that was a big part of why he preferred to deal with his pain on his own. Because then the only person he could hurt was himself.

Carlos cupped his face in his free hand. “Well I trust you. And I won’t push you.” His eyes grew firm. “But I can’t sit here all night worrying about you. So if you don’t want them, then we’re going to the hospital.”

Wow, things really weren’t going his way tonight. “I don’t need a hospital!”

“I know you don’t think you do. But those are the options that I can live with. Ibuprofen or hospital.”

T.K. huffed in annoyance. “I’ll take them if you stay with me tonight.”

Carlos raised his eyebrows. “You’re resorting to extortion?”

“That’s what you’re doing!”

“No,” Carlos shook his head. “I’m intervening in a serious health matter. You can’t be trusted with your own safety. It’s totally different.”

“It doesn’t feel different,” T.K. grumbled, cranky from the pain and anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

Carlos held up the bottle. “If you’re going to take these I want it to be because you feel okay doing it. You don’t need to bribe me. That may have been how your relationships worked before, but not us. I’ll stay because you asked.” He ran a thumb over T.K.’s cheek. “I’ll do anything you ask.”

He’d carried so much of his pain on his own for so much of his life, he’d forgotten what it was like to share it with someone else. Actually, he wasn’t sure he’d ever really shared it with anyone else. His dad was too fragile despite his firefighter bravado, his mom too busy, and previous boyfriends had never been…well they had never been like Carlos. 

He knew he could trust his mental and physical safety to Carlos. His boyfriend had proven time and time again that he was a good person, a person who loved him and only wanted the best for him. Trusting Carlos was easy. It was feeling worthy of Carlos’ trust in him that was the problem.

“Talk to me T.K.,” Carlos said softly.

“I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt you,” T.K. said. “And I know that these pills are not a big deal. I took stronger stuff when I was shot and came out of it all right. My therapist and I have talked about it a lot. It’s just…they’re a reminder of what I could lose if I—if I mess up.”

“You are not going to lose me,” Carlos told him. “You won’t.”

“Carlos you don’t know what it’s like—”

“My love for you is not contingent on whether or not you stay clean,” Carlos said firmly. “My love for you just…is. It’s there. You have it. Forever.”

Tears pricked at T.K.’s eyes. “God you are…such a hopeless romantic.”

Carlos smiled. “You knew that already.”

T.K. bit his lip. “I didn’t mean to make this into such a big deal.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos said, cracking a smile. “I know you’re a little bit of a drama queen.”

T.K. shot him a look. “I am not.”

Carlos wrinkled his nose and held up his thumb and first finger about half an inch apart from each other.

“Fine,” T.K. sighed. “A little bit.” He hesitated for a second and then took the pill bottle from Carlos, shaking two into his palm. “I really don’t want to go to the hospital. And I really don’t want you to sleep on the couch.”

Carlos shifted in the bed so he was lying next to T.K., propping himself up on his elbow. “Then I’ll stay.”

It helped to have Carlos sitting beside him, telling him about a call they’d gone on so that he barely even noticed when he swallowed the pills. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of Carlos’ voice, his fingers stroking gently through T.K.’s hair.

If he’d hoped to feel better in the morning he was sorely disappointed. He could barely get out of bed without help, let alone take a shower, or get dressed by himself. With a little bit of sweet talk Carlos managed to get him a doctor’s appointment before noon, despite T.K.’s continued insistence that it wasn’t necessary. “It doesn’t matter,” T.K. was still protesting as they pulled into the parking lot. “Either way, the treatment will be the same.”

“It absolutely does matter because if they’re bruised you can go back to work and if they’re broken I’m not letting you out of the house again for the rest of your life,” Carlos told him.

It turned out x-rays were much more revealing than a self exam in the firehouse bathroom. He had two hairline fractures, one in his sixth and one in his seventh rib. Not life threatening, but enough to cause a crapload of pain. He was sent home with a prescription for the strongest, non-narcotic pain reliever they could prescribe and a cautionary tale about deep breaths and pneumonia. 

“You can’t be mad at me, this wasn’t my fault!” T.K. said as he sank blissfully into the couch on their arrival home. Being poked and prodded had aggravated his injuries and he was so sore that all he wanted was to lie on the couch in complete stillness.

“I’m not mad, just concerned,” Carlos said calmly as he retrieved several ice packs from the freezer.

“Well your mad face and your concerned face look really similar. It’s confusing.”

Carlos handed him the ice packs and then bent over to kiss his forehead. “I’m not mad. I promise. I just wish you’d be a little more concerned about your own health and safety.”

“Again, not my fault. I did not ask a Zoomer to run me over. What are you doing?” he asked as Carlos reached for his phone.

“Texting your dad to ask him about natural methods of pain relief because I know you’re not going to let me fill that prescription.”

T.K. shifted on the couch. “You’re telling on me to my dad?”

“He’s going to find out anyway because you’re on light duty for the foreseeable future. Besides, Nancy already knows.”

“What? How?”

“She started texting me this morning to make sure you were okay. She said, ‘He said he was all right but I’m pretty sure he was lying his ass off so make sure he’s not bleeding out or something.’ I told her I was taking you to get checked out.”

T.K. let his head fall back against the couch. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“She also said that she’s giving you a full exam the next time you get so much as a paper cut. And something about taking your sticker back for lying?” Carlos looked puzzled. “I don’t know what that part means.”

“It’s just Nancy being Nancy,” T.K. said with a roll of his eyes. 

Carlos seemed to sense T.K.’s unhappiness. “Nancy and Tommy will be fine without you for a few days. And it’s not like you can’t go to work at all. I’m sure Tommy has plenty of paperwork for you to catch up on.”

“I hate paperwork,” T.K. grumbled.

“There’s an easy solution to that,” Carlos said, settling next to him on the couch, careful not to jostle his aching body. He pressed a kiss to T.K.’s temple. “Stop getting hurt.”

[votederpycausemufins]

*arrives with a cup of hot cocoa instead of coffee* oh hey, you know you guys have been waiting long enough. Here’s the captain. Just ignore the Mumbo in the background having a crisis

@petrichormeraki

Grian regretted going through the portal almost immediately as a wave of nausea hit him. “Are you okay mister grain?” he gave a weak laugh at Crumb already figuring out that nickname.

“Yeah, just didn’t expect this place to be so charged with Vault God energy. Oof, no wonder I can’t remember anything. Can you try sending a message to Tommy?”

“Ye ye ye!” Crumb replied before tapping away at her own communicator. She stopped, jumping as someone wearing a white mask with a black symbol on it landed in front of them.

“Heyyyy!” Grian pointed finger guns at the Watcher that landed in front of him.

“Xelqua. What are you doing here?”

Grian frowned, recognizing the voice. “Ugh, Lynn… Look, I’m just here for my family and a friend of Tommy’s. I didn’t know it was going to be this bad.” He fumbled as Lynn threw an identical mask to the one she was wearing to him. He put it on and felt relief as it helped stabilize him a bit, though he could feel it activating his Watcher powers further. “If you know where they are, I can be on my way.”

“Fine, try not to take too long.” She gave Grian some directions before leaving.

Grian went to pick up Crumb, but found her looking a little scared. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Well, when me and Tubbox was getting flown away by the big bird, it made a portal dat looks like dat.” She pointed at Grian’s mask.

“Oh, yeah that bird was probably me. It was very much on accident though as you can see that is not happening this time.”

Crumb stared at him, half surprised, half skeptical, but mostly confused. “Are you a shape shifter like me den?”

Grian chuckled. “Nope, just an avian. Okay maybe not just. I was born an avian and then made into a Watcher, and to show off power they get wicked cool forms that sort of reflect who they are. Since a good number of Watchers are human based in origin, they basically turn into what people think of as angels. That’s… actually probably where those came from.” Grian shrugged. “Eh, who knows, it was who knows how long ago. Let’s just go find your friends.”

When Grian walked into the building Tommy was hiding out in, he got stabbed. He knew that it made sense, but he couldn’t help but look down at the sword. “Ugh, not again.”

His voice seemed to help the others figure out who he was. “Grian?”

“Hi Tommy! Sorry if I scared you. It’s just I kinda need to wear this mask or else I’ll feel sick and drunk at the same time or something.”

“Tommy an’ Tubbox!” Crumb jumped at the pair when she saw them, shifting to a hybrid form midair and then hugging them.

“Crumb!” Tubbo hugged her first. “Are you doing okay?”

“Ye ye ye!”

“Everything should be okay here soon guys. I’ve got some friends who are definitely going to take care of Dream for you guys once and for all. At the same time, I talked and we’re really going to make a permanent connection between here and Hermitcraft so you can visit all the time. Admin duties will be shared between the servers, but X said he won’t step on any toes, it’s just as a precaution.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “And what are you doing about your boyfriend?”

Grian hesitated at the lack of Tommy using Mumbo’s name. “You mean Mumbo? I mean, he’s a disgusting mess after barely sleeping and eating taking care of me, but I’m sure he’ll get better. Unless you’re concerned about how he was after being here, because again, bit of a mess but he’ll be fine.”

“Not going to get upset at me coming back?”

That really made Grian pause. What was Tommy talking about? “What do you mean Tommy?”

Tommy didn’t respond, just getting so angry he could barely say anything, so Tubbo answered for him. “Just before Mumbo left with you, he yelled at Tommy. He sort of said he wished Tommy never showed up in your world.”

Grian frowned. “Well, you’re fine to come back. I’ll make sure he has a stern talking to. Come on, let’s go back to the portal.” Grian then looked over where Techno and Philza were playing a game of… well Grian wasn’t sure, but it looked like some kind of board game. “You can come too if you want.”

Philza shook his head. “No. Whatever Dream did turned Wilbur back into a ghost, so someone showed up and took him away to fix that. We’re going to wait here until he’s back to normal.”

“Oh, alright then. Well, don’t be a stranger or anything. C’mon kids!”

“Hey! I’m not a kid!” Tommy complained, just making Grian ruffle his hair.

“Were it not for the laws of this land, that being you’re literally my brother, I might have adopted you. Also if we maybe had a few more years between us.”

Grian dropped off the trio at Tommy’s tower before flying to Mumbo’s base. He set his mask down on a table and then walked to where Mumbo’s bedroom was, surprised to hear the shower still running as he passed the bathroom. Grian paused and knocked on the door. “Mumbo, when you’re done in there, we need to have a chat. I’ll be waiting by the counter.”

Grian sat down on the ledge in front of the life counter of Mumbo’s base after feeding it an apple. He stared out at the jungle, waiting for Mumbo to arrive. He finally heard the redstone walk up behind him and then started to address him. “Mumbo, look. Tommy told me you-” He turned to look at Mumbo who was dripping wet. It was like someone pushed him into a pool while he was wearing his suit. “Mumbo why are you all wet?”

“You said to take a shower.” Mumbo said like how he currently looked was the most normal thing in the world.

“I didn’t mean in your clothes! Oh my god, go get changed!”

“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“We can do that after you’re dry!”

Mumbo was quiet before speaking again. “You know I don’t really have another suit.”

“You have your bamboo one!”

Again, he was quiet for a worryingly long time before he just sat down next to Grian. “Can we just talk and get this over with?”

Grian was reluctant and nodded. “Tommy said you yelled at him.”

“I know… I was upset. A lot of things had just happened and with everyone with amnesia, I was really the only one who was able to do much. And Dream had messed with you so I was angry. I barely got to sleep, and we had just had a war with that guy and we were all over the place and I just sort of… lost it.” Mumbo started to lean on Grian’s shoulder, but quickly stopped himself. “Through all this, you’ve been focused a lot on Tommy and your family, and everything else, but you weren’t really…”

“Oh Mumbo. Why didn’t you say anything?” Grian realized what Mumbo meant.

“Well, I sort of knew Tommy was sort of the priority. Plus you had a lot on your plate. I didn’t want to put more on there.”

Grian nuzzled against Mumbo’s chest, not noticing how he stiffened up. “Mumbo, I’m not going to stop loving you. I’m just going to have love for my family too. You know how we hermits need to be there for each other, and Tommy is a hermit too.”

“Yeah…”

When their comms buzzed, Mumbo gave a small sigh as Grian sat up to look at the message. He saw there were actually a few he had missed and laughed a little at them. “Looks like Crumb’s dad is looking for her but he was told he’s at my mansion. I’m going to fly over there and take him to Tommy’s tower since that’s where I left them. If you want we can talk more later.”

“Go deal with them first. And can you tell Tommy what I said?”

Grian nodded and then flew off to his mansion. He quickly arrived since it wasn’t too far even on foot. “Hellooo? Crumb’s dad? You in here?” He called out before spotting an unfamiliar man. “Oh, hey there. Sorry that Crumb’s not here. She’s actually at Tommy’s tower. I can take you there if you want.” Grian stood there as the man in front of him stayed quiet with his back turned to the avian. “Uh, hello?” He then put a hand on the man’s shoulder.

Sparklez jumped slightly, shocked out of his train of thought before he whirled around and saw Grian.

“Hi! Sorry if I scared you. Crumb’s not here, but I can take you to her.”

“Is… Do you live here?”

Grian nodded. He must not have seen many of the other bases. “Yup! Built the mansion myself. Why?”

Grian’s eyes widened as the man held up a lost child poster. “Where did you get this?”

“Uh, that’s from my old world. The kid’s not mine though. Just sort of-”

Grian was cut off by Sparklez. “I know he’s not your kid. He’s mine!”

“Oh my god you’re the captain.”

“Yeah, I am. People don’t normally call me that.”

Grian just grabbed Jordan’s arm. “No, argh! I mean… Tubbo’s here! Your kid is here! They’re with Crumb and Tommy right now.”

“You mean… that kid… with the green shirt, red bandana. That’s him? The whole time that was him?”

“Oh great, looks like you’ve seen him already. That should make things less awkward. Even more of a reason to go over to the tower. Let’s go!” Grian grabbed Sparklez and pulled him over to an ender chest to hand him some spare elytra and rockets. After he had put the wings on, they both got into the air and then flew to the tower.

When they landed, Grian had to hold Jordan back because he looked like he was about to tear the tower apart. “Hey Tommy!” Grian shouted up to the tower. “Are you guys still there?” When the blond called back in affirmation, Grian shouted again. “Can you three come down here? It’s important!”

“Give me a second! I need to grab some more elytra. Hey can you remind me to change the floor 2 elevator to a down tomorrow?”

“We’ll see. Might be busy for us then.”

In a few moments, Tommy was gliding down with Tubbo, Crumb in Tommy’s arms. Crumb was the first to see Sparklez and frowned. “Aw myan… do I have to leave?”

Her dad didn’t answer as he half stumbled towards them and then held Tubbo in a bone crushing hug.

“Ah! What’s going on?” Tubbo, having no context was confused.

Sheepishly, Grian gave the answer. “So remember how you said you went missing when you were little and couldn’t find your dad? I found a missing person’s poster? Well, Crumb’s dad is the one who made that poster… making him your dad too.”

Everything was silent as everyone comprehended the news, Sparklez just holding Tubbo close and not wanting to let go, but finally Tubbo half screamed from being so surprised. “He’s whAT?!”

Mumbo sat in his room, still dripping wet. He knew he could just go sit in front of some lava or stand in the nether for a while if he felt daring, but instead he was just sitting in his room leaving a puddle behind. He wasn’t sure why he set up an ice mirror, but there it was, waiting for him to take his shirt off.

He just stared at himself, trying to will himself to move, but it just wasn’t working. So he tried talking to his mirror self. “Alright Mumbo. Stop acting like a spoon and just look. It’s going to be there. He was lying and Grian seemed fine when he left. They’re supposed to stay forever. A few years won’t do anything to it.”

Still, Mumbo didn’t move, he just kept staring. “Fine, if that’s how we’re going to do it, I’ll just go ahead!” He closed his eyes and took his tie and jacket off. His hands trembled as he got to the buttons of his dress shirt, but then he steeled himself and undid two of them, pulling his left arm out of the sleeve. There was no hiding it now. He would open his eyes and right there, on the skin just under his clavicle, Mumbo would see it.

The redstoner took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking into the mirror. He was staring at his face and now where he should, but it was hard to look away. No, he told himself. He had to look and put this all past him. He shifted his gaze and his heart dropped. It was gone, like it had never been there at all.

[365days365movies]

March 7, 2021: Wolfwalkers (Review)

Well, it’s not a 98%. Close enough, though...

Because this film is...fantastic. It’s amazing! Come on, it’s such a good movie, what else were you expecting? This one was a corker, it was just a good time. And I’m definitely watching this one again, I promise you that.

But here’s the real question: is it my favorite Cartoon Saloon film? Well...

Yeah, sorry, Song of the Sea still takes that role for me. And to be honest, The Breadwinner gives it a run for its money, too. Definitely better than The Secret of Kells, although...not that much better. I’ll elaborate, I promise. But this is still a great movie! ALL of Cartoon Saloon’s films are great movies, come on!

But, since it’s not a straight-up 100%, I’ll break it down, as well as my very unimportant issues with it. So, let’s get into it. Check out Part One and Part Two of the Recap for more, if you’d like!

Review

Cast and Acting: 10/10

Yeah, if this movie has one thing over the Ghibli films, it’s the voice acting. And yeah, I realize that I’m judging this English-language film vs. the dubbed Ghibli films, and that’s unfair. But even without the Ghibli films factored in...this movie’s got some fantastic voice acting. I can say quite honestly that there isn’t a weak performance in the bunch. Worst ones are probably the two farmers, and they’re completely fine. Climbing on up, we’ve first got Tommy Tiernan (as Sean, and he’s pretty great) and Simon McBurney (as Oliver Cromwell, and he does a fantastic job). Then, Sean Bean and Maria Doyle Kennedy as the concerned parents, and hot damn, they’re great. Kennedy barely gets time to shine, but is great when she does. And Bean? Holy shit, Sean Bean is fucking AMAZING in here!

But no...no, they’re all outright bad compared to the stars of the film, and some of the best young voice actors I’ve ever heard. Don’t know what it is about Cartoon Saloon, but they always get great kids for their films, and Honor Kneafsey and Eva Whittaker might be their best! These two are powerhouses of the film, and their voices inhabited those characters perfectly. I mean it when I say that these two were perfect. Bravo!

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Here’s where the film is a touch weaker than the other Cartoon Saloon films for me, because while this was a good story by Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, with great writing by Will Collins, it wasn’t their most impactful for me. It’s also, to be honest, quite predictable. Which, no, isn’t a bad thing for a kids’ movie, but it was noticeable. Here’s the thing: Song of the Sea wasn’t super predictable. I was touched and surprised by the ending, and it’s still my favorite of the Saloon films. The Breadwinner...oof, yeah, I had no idea how that one would end. And Kells wasn’t as unpredictable, but it also had some major surprises in store that kept me on my toes. But Wolfwalkers? Didn’t feel it. Knew that Moll would be OK at the end, and that was the main crux of the tension of the story. Now, that said...there were still definitely things that surprised me, like Bill getting bitten, and the two retaining their status as Wolfwalkers in the end. That did surprise me, and it definitely isn’t like the story was bad, even a little bit. Just was basically what I expected.

...Except for Cromwell dying. WHAT THE FUCK. The Cartoon Saloon universe has a REALLY interesting alternate history, I tell you what! Goddamn, I hope they do one that takes place in the USA with some of our folklore and mythology. Like...OOH, I GOT ONE. Paul Bunyan story! Do something with Bunyan and the Ox. Or OOH, EVEN BETTER, Pecos Bill! Actually, maybe not Pecos Bill. John Henry? Eeeeeh, that might be complicated. I dunno, but there’s something there, Cartoon Saloon! There is something there.

Directing and Cinematography: 10/10

I mean...it’s Cartoon Saloon. It’s amazing. Tomm Moore is great again, joined this time by writing partner Ross Stewart. Looks like Nora Twomey is working on another film called My Father’s Dragon, and I am READY for that shit. But yeah, I mean...come on. It’s funny, because this movie’s production and release were heavily affected by COVID-19, and it doesn’t show. There is a single criticism that I can give to it, but it doesn’t belong in this section. Because the directing and cinematography are typically amazing. Goddamn beautiful. As for the one potential flaw...

Production and Art Design: 9/10

Understand: this is a nitpick. Bu if I had to pick on anything here, it’s simply the animation cells showing the sketches lying underneath. Now, Disney ended up doing this with an era of films in the 1960s and ‘70s (The Many Adventures of Winne-the-Pooh, Robin Hood, The Jungle Book, the Aristocats all did this), but it’s still a little distracting here. And that’s it. Character design is goddamn amazing, and actually made me want to start drawing a bit. The artistry of the backgrounds and set-pieces is stellar, and the stylized designs of Cartoon Saloon somehow never get old to me! It’s just...amazing. Like I said: the underlying sketch thing really is a nitpick, and I don’t even mind it, personally. It’s honestly good to see the work behind a 2-D animated movie, you know? So, yeah, just the one point.

Music and Editing: 10/10

Bruno Coulais and Kila knock this music out of the park all-around, and I have nothing negative to say about it. I’m not sure which track is going in my playlist, but one of them is. Maybe “Running with the Wolves”, and I’m only a little ashamed to admit that. OK, what about the editing by Richie Cody, Darren Holmes, and Darragh Byrne? I mean...yeah, it’s amazing, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? Animated films rarely have poor visual editing (unless they’re REALLY bad), and the sound editing usually takes the hit. However, no such problem here. Again, sound editing is fantastic in this movie, from voice mixing to sound effects to overall balance. It’s all pretty goddamn great. No complaints here.

Yeah, 94%. I mean, of course, right?

Sure, it’s not Ghibli-levels of profound, but it is fantastic all the same. Who cares about profundity, anyway? It’s just a good goddamn movie! And like I said in the beginning, I’ll be watching this again very soon. Beautiful.

But I think it’s time to start wrapping up the animated portion of this month with something closer to home. Now, I’d love to do Disney, and I was actually going to see Raya and the Last Dragon in theaters this week (yeah, really, not kidding), but other stuff got in the way. And I’ve seen all Disney films other than that. So, what’s another fully American studio who’s produced a movie that I somehow haven’t seen? And, that movie has to be fantasy? Well...

March 7, 2021: Onward (2020)

[elias-code]

My OC's relationships on the Dream SMP

These are all characters, not the actual streamers! <3 It's also not all of them since I don't watch a few of them :) I harbour no hate towards the people behind the characters that I have issues with lmao

Awesamdude - Negative relationship - basically, he let Quackity get away with putting Techno away, let Tommy die and get revived by Dream and then never apologised, and then let ghostbur die and... wtf - Yeah we aren't friends. In another universe, if he weren't the warden, we might get along.

BadBoyHalo - He kinda gives me bad vibes - After the egg stuff I just don't really like to be around him... he killed Foolish and tried to kill everyone at the banquet which I just don't vibe with - I kinda understand why he joined the egg. I mean he was there for Skeppy which I think is ok, but he really went off the deep end. If he redeems himself, I'll be the first to befriend him (cautiously)

Callahan - Alright I taught him some American Sign Language for basic communication - I go and hang out with him whenever I feel like there's too much angst on the server, he's so neutral it's honestly relaxing.

Captain Puffy - We don't know each other very well - I mean I agree with her when it comes to the egg and she seems nice but it's hard to be friends with her when her son is Dream... poor Foolish, though.

Connor - I don't know how to feel about him - I don't have anything against him but... he just seems like someone I wouldn't get along with so I don't hang out with him. He is kinda funny tho

Dream - Ok, ok, he's just an ass - I'm not even gonna list why, you know why... I'm just saying. - I do feel bad for him since Quackity just beats the living shit out of him and he's already in prison so why...?

Dream XD - I fear no man... but that thing... it scares me. - Why his voice do that?? - I avoid him but if he approached me, I would be ok with being his friend, I mean he's a god. If I don't then I might die. Might as well use it to the fullest extent I can.

Eret - I don't really understand why he joined the opposing side during the L'Manburg war - I mean she's cool! I like their outfits and it's nice to have another queer person on the DSMP - I think we'd be good friends in another life, but our friend groups don't overlap very much, so it's hard to hang with them.

Foolish - Little bit scary ngl - Lightning go brrrrrr - I feel really bad for him since he's gotta be related to Dream and he died during the egg shit. That's just cruel. - also I don't really vibe with his personality but I do like to talk to him about his building ventures since I also love to build

Fundy - I feel sooooo bad for him - He's super cute, super sweet, and he just deserves more love - I plant sweet berries around his house to brighten his day whenever I can and I also feed his fox - I love to talk to him and he teaches me dutch sometimes because it's an interesting language. Also, he just deserves a good role model in his life... Like Will kinda sucked as his dad, Schlatt was not a good role model, and his friends don't really care about him. :( - Um also (IRL) he's the reason I started watching the DSMP, I love coding and Dutch so it was a very good mix for me

George - I sleep the opposite amount that he does. - I love his mushroom aesthetic but I stay away from him in fear of Dream XD. - I don't have a lot to say about him since he's not on the dsmp much

Jack Manifold - Yo he's lowkey annoying??? - Give Tommy his hotel back??? He died??? - If he were nicer to Tommy I'd be his friend but he's gotta get his shit together lmao

Jschlatt - Fuck that guy - bruh, he ruined L'Manburg?? - He drinks too much, not surprised he had a heart attack oof

Glatt - Ghost Schlatt gives me such chaotic evil vibes - I enjoy his presence much more than I enjoy his living presence. - I like the fact that he's kinda useless and can't do anything. It's like going to a zoo to see a creature you wouldn't want to see in the wild

Karl Jacobs - I feel bad that he's losing his memory, he's such a fun character. - I like to hang out with him but he makes me sad and also our friend groups do not vibe with each other oof

Niki Nihachu - She's super sweet and absolutely terrifying. - I love to help her bake and its super fun to try out new recipes with her - People really underestimate her and in return for her help with the baking, I help her train her fighting skills.

Philza - DADZA - I get in trouble with him a lot oof, I like to troll people so it happens quite a bit. Also, I take the blame for a lot of the stuff Techno and I get up to as well as with the bench trio. - He taught me how to sew and crochet so I can make my own clothes. I also build with him whenever he asks for help

Quackity - Scared. - He's rude and evil and I dislike him... gambling bad - I like Charlie and I think he's a good influence on Quackity but tbh I feel the same as Techno in this scenario. I am not a Quackity apologist!

Ranboo - I have the same vibe as him. We are one and the same. - I keep an eye on him during his enderwalks, he worries me sometimes. - Out of everyone in the bench trio, we get along the best. I take care of Michael sometimes when he's out doing Snowchester stuff with Tubbo.

Sapnap - I mean I dislike him a little, he throws off my vibe. - He's on the wrong side of everything imo, just stop being weird, big man... - Also I mean I don't understand why he threatened Dream with torture if he ever escaped. Like you don't have to tell him that, just do it? - We have very similar voices (IRL oh no) and so I'll mess with people by doing my best impression of him

Skeppy - One of the many victims of my trolling (with techno usually) - He's fun to hang out with for a while but I can't handle being around him for too long, he gives me a headache - Sometimes I wonder if he's actually made out of diamonds... should I kill him and see what happens?

Charlie (Slimecicle) - BEST BOY I LOVE HIM - HE'S SO CUTE DAP ME UP - Honestly, we get along soooo well, he reminds me of a slime for some reason, hmmmmmmmm - I try to teach him human-ness because if he doesn't want to look like a slime then there's no reason for me to say no

Technoblade - Ah yes the best one on the SMP - He did not like me at first, I can be a bit annoying oh no - Eventually, he got a soft spot for me since we have the same sense of humour and I love to mess with people - I sympathise with him, he deserves so much more than he's getting. - I wish he didn't express his emotions as anger all the time since it really affects everyone. He's got some anger issues and I try to deal with them with him.

TommyInnit - Omg I still find him annoying but I love to hang out with him like Wilbur does. - He needs to learn some boundaries but he is still a kid, so it doesn't really matter. I think people have to stop being little shits to him since his brain hasn't fully formed, like all adolescents. - He's very sweet sometimes and I appreciate his assistance in a lot of random tasks

Tubbo - I am allergic to bees so we can't hang too much - I like to chill with him and Ranboo and sometimes him and Tommy, but I'm always telling Tommy off for being a little shit to Tubbo. - I do not approve of his governmental ways, but his heart is in the right place. Also, why do you have nukes?

Wilbur Soot - Too much government, I do not approve - not a good father - Eventually, he stopped governmenting so whatever, no more animosity from me, eh?

Ghostbur - Awww he gave me blue - how dare he die twice - I love friend, I walked him sometimes. So glad he has infinite canon lives - I wish he had more time on the SMP, he's super sweet and his vibe is amazing

Revivebur - Alright he's kinda cool, I like his hair. - He doesn't have any governmental plans thank god - He's a bit worrying but he hasn't done anything yet. I'll just keep my eyes on him.

That's it, just doing this for fun! I have a lot of things in the works, don't worry! If you're curious as to what I'm working on, take a look at my masterlist (it's on my page at the top where my asks are) If you do have any asks please give 'em to me, I love to write for you guys :)

THANK YOU FOR 80 FOLLOWERS!

[bi-writes]

Od you're accepting angsty requests... would you please be able to write a mob!tom x reader where she finds out that he's the boss of a mob but she freaks and scared of him, mainly because she finds him holding a weapon?

oof. this is a concept.

There was a lot you didn’t know about Tom. But that didn’t bother you. In the past, you had dove in too far at the start of relationships. Meeting the family, getting intimate, going head first into relationships that you weren’t ready for.

But Tom was serious about you, and you were serious about him. So you wanted to take it slow. So slow, actually. You hadn’t gone home with him once yet. You let him take you on dates, but the worst you had done was kiss in the backseat of his car, over the leather seats.

You hadn’t even met his friends yet, and he hadn’t met yours. You still felt a little like strangers, but somehow, it made the relationship all the more exciting. You felt like everyday you were discovering more and more about him, about his quirks, about what he liked. It made everyday feel like new with him. You could tell already that you were head over heels for him, and you hoped he fell the same for you.

It was Friday night when you got that hunch. He took you out for dinner, and you were eating chocolate cake in the back of the one of the most luxurious restaurants you had ever been inside. Chandeliers, a view of the city, and a menu that didn’t even list prices. 

“You spoil me, Tom,” you said softly, meeting his eyes as he took a spoon full of chocolate cake and held it up for you. He grins, a bit darkly, but you liked that. You liked that Tom was mysterious, that he was hard to figure out. It made every discovery about him so satisfying. 

“No, darling,” he murmured. “It’s what you deserve.” 

He brought the spoon to your mouth, and you took it into your mouth, sighing. It was delectable. He brushed a few strands of your hair out of your face, scanning over it before staring at your lips.

“Come back with me, love,” he said lowly. “Don’t end this night so soon.”

You let out a breath. You had gone on numerous dates with Tom, for weeks now. But you wanted it to be special. You wanted this to last, and you didn’t want to rush anything. 

You bit your lip, “Tom…” He sucked in a breath at your hesitation. He wasn’t used to hearing no. He wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted. “I…I just don’t want to rush this thing. To rush…this.” You reached over and touched the lapel of his suit jacket. “I…I really like you,” you whispered, a blush coming over your cheeks.

He licked his lips, bringing you closer by a grip on your waist. He couldn’t stand the tension anymore. He needed you.

“Darling, I adore you,” he muttered in your ear. “Come back with me.”

You close your eyes, tasting chocolate still as he runs his fingers down your bare back, exposed by the openness of your dress. You sighed deeply at his touch.

“Don’t expect anything,” you whispered. “It’s just…for a night cap.”

He held back a triumphant grin, kissing your bare shoulder. 

“Mmm…of course.”

He kept a hand on your lower back as he guided you outside, back into his car. He put his hand on your exposed thigh as he drove home, squeezing the skin lovingly. He wanted to impress you, intoxicate you, spoil you. He wanted to show you all the good in him before he knew he would have to tell you about the evil. The bad. The terrible. He didn’t want you to run as soon as you discovered what he hid from you in plain sight. 

“Jesus,” you breathed when he pulled up into his driveway. His house was beautiful, tucked into a large brownstone. He smirked. If only you saw his country house, the one he kept tucked away outside of the city. This one was…cute to him. But he wouldn’t tell you that yet.

He helped you out of the car, going into the house with his arm around your waist. When you both got inside, however, Tom had unexpected guests.

His brothers were sitting in the living room, discussing in hushed voices as they drank dark liquor in crystal glasses. You froze. You had never met any of them before, but they were all quite handsome and well dressed. Tom told you that they all worked together, but you didn’t think they worked together this closely, surely not.

Tom kept you behind him, his jaw clenching as he saw the group sitting there. They grew silent when they noticed the both of you in the foyer.

“Tom,” Harrison stood up from the couch, and he held up a hand.

“In my office, lads,” he said lowly, simply. It was quite a terrifying voice, and they all went without protesting. They all glanced at you briefly before you both heard his office door close. He turned to you, letting out a harsh breath through his nose. “y/n, love…I apologize. They weren’t supposed to be here.”

“It…seems serious,” you said with a blush, scratching your arm awkwardly. “Maybe I should go.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I don’t want that. Let me take care of it, and we’ll continue.”

He ran a few knuckles down your cheek before taking your chin between his fingers, leaning down and giving you a chaste, soft kiss. 

“Just wait here for me.”

You nodded in reply, licking the sweetness of his kiss off your lips. He helped you to sit, as you were still wearing your heels, and he walked down the hallway, into his office.

It was a few minutes when you started to hear yelling. You had poured yourself a drink and were taking a few sips when you heard it. You moved away from the pictures you were observing, slowing making your way down the hallway. You don’t know what was drawing you in. But yelling between family was bad, especially this late at night, and you thought maybe by innocently asking where the bathroom was, you could break up whatever tension was growing in the dark corners of his home.

The office door was open a crack, and it was Tom that was yelling. 

“You’re a bunch of incompetent fuckers,” Tom snapped, pacing in front of the group of boys. “All of you are fucking idiots. How could you be so stupid?! How could you lose so much fucking product?! I should kill you!”

That’s when you saw it. Tom reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun, hidden in the waistband of his pants. You screamed as soon as you saw it, and everyone looked towards the door. You ducked out of the way, hurrying down the hall. You grabbed your jacket, ditching the drink as you grabbed your purse.

“y/n! y/n! Don’t—fuck!” Tom called after you. 

You made it out the door, but not far. Your heels made you slower, and he caught up to you quickly, grabbing your wrist as gently as he could.

“No! No!” You cried. “Please!”

Your voice shook violently. You were pale and scared, and you wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Your heart was going a million miles a minute, and your whole body was cold, sweat along your hairline. 

“y/n! Please! God—please just let me explain!” He begged. He grabbed onto your shoulders, turning you to face him.

“Tom, please—” You gasped. “Please, I swear I won’t say a single thing! I-I swear! I won’t say anything! Just let me go—”

“y/n, fuck—just—I’m not going to hurt you!” He assured you. “Fuck, just look at me!”

Still panting, you turned to meet his eyes, which were hurt and genuine and dark. Nothing like the man that was present in the room a few minutes ago. 

“y/n, I…I don’t know what to say.”

You looked up at him with big eyes, still afraid, but his touch was kind.

“I don’t understand,” you said gently. “Why…why do you have a gun, Tom?”

“I…” He shook his head. “y/n, I wanted to tell you. I swear I did. But I…things were going so well. They are going well. And I didn’t…I didn’t want you to freak out, not like…not like this.”

You swallowed hard. Your eyes were still on his when he leaned down and pulled you into his arms, into his chest, hugging you tightly to him.

“y/n, I would never hurt you. Please know that,” he whispered in your ear. “I love you.”

Your eyes widened at that, and you unsurely put your arms around his neck.

“Really?” You whispered, and he nodded. “You love me?”

“Fuck, y/n, I’m mad about you. Bloody mad.”

You closed your eyes, sniffling.

“Please, y/n…please, don’t go,” he begged lowly in your ear.

You held him even closer, still unsure, but you could feel him opening up. This was discovery unlike anything else. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Tommy,” you said softly. “I love you, too.”

[nineteenninety-six]

Knight In Shining Armour

I don’t like this but eh whatever.

I’m p sure my inbox is open so send a request if you want :)

Also none of my stuff show in the tommy x reader tag which is a bit peak

Word Count: 1121

Warnings: almost drowning i guess

“ ‘ello luv” 

(Y/N) let out a sigh at the sound of his voice. She had literally just stepped out of English class and sure enough, Tommy Shelby was stood outside slouched against the wall. Greeting him back, (Y/N) made her way out of the school, Tommy hot on her heels. Her English class had been her last of the day and she couldn’t have been more grateful.

Ever since he had first met her on the first day of year seven in secondary school, Tommy had deemed them soulmates and that she was the love of his life and now six years later at seventeen years old, nothing had changed.

 Even though he had stopped properly going to classes years ago, he made an effort to come into school and see her everyday, and after he continuously ignored her pleas for him to stop, she tried to strike a deal with him; she’d go on a date with him, if he actually went to classes and tried. She knew he was naturally smart and hated the thought of it going to waste but he rejected the deal and said ‘when I finally get you to come on a date with me, it won’t be because of some deal, it’ll be because of my charm’, something that drew a loud snort from her when he first said it. Her frustration with him had dwindled over the years, settling into something akin to friendship. She had to admit, though not to him, that he wasn’t bad company and was actually quite funny.

They made their way out of the building and towards the primary school around the corner that held (Y/N)’s younger sibling to go pick him up. 

“How was school today?” Tommy asked after a few minutes of walking in silence.

“It was alright. You’d know if you actually came to class” (Y/N) threw him a grin to show that she was only joking, making him laugh.

“Nah, I’ll stick to the horses me.” Tommy brushed the back of his hand against hers, “But you’ll go off to university and become something big, doing the Shelby name proud”

“The Shelby name?” (Y/N) asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yea, (Y/N) Shelby.” Tommy had a large grin on his face.

(Y/N) laughed, pushing past him to step into the playground of the primary school, a tiny voice screaming out her name as soon as she did and moments later, (Y/N)’s hands were full of the five year old that leaped into them. 

“Oof! Hello to you too Ben.” (Y/N) stumbled back a few paces, Tommy hands immediately coming up to her waist to balance her. 

Ben simply smiled and wrapped his small arms her neck, pulling her into a tight hug, one that (Y/N) returned with just as much love before she put him down. 

“Tommy!” Ben sped over to the Tommy, a large smile on his face. Ben adored Tommy, seeing him as a cool older brother and since the only sibling he had was (Y/N), it meant that he found Tommy to be the coolest person ever. After the pair exchanged a high five, the three of the made their way to where (Y/N) and Ben lived, Tommy as always, dropping them off home before he went home himself. 

They had gone the long route home, Ben a few steps ahead of Tommy and (Y/N) as they walked past the cut when one of the dock workers roughly pushed pass Ben, causing the young boy to stumble and fall into the cut with a loud splash.

“Ben!” (Y/N) screamed as she rushed forward to where he fell, letting out a sob when she couldn’t see him. As she stood up to remove her coat, a hand on her arm stopped her,

“Don’t. I’ll get him.” Tommy pulled off his jacket and slipped off his shoes before diving in and (Y/N) watched from the side with her heart racing and tears rapidly falling down her face. It didn’t take long for Tommy to resurface and when he did, he had Ben in his arms, held tightly as he swam to where she was standing. Tommy lifted Ben up into her waiting arms before he pulled himself up on to the side, watching as (Y/N) roughly patted Ben on the back to make sure he had coughed up all the water before wrapping him up in her coat and pulling him tight to her, kissing him on the forehead as she whispered comforting words. 

(Y/N) turned towards Tommy with tears in her eyes and whimpered out her thanks and Tommy nodded before he stood up, collecting his shoes and coat and offering his hand to (Y/N),

“C’mon, let’s get him home before he gets ill.”

(Y/N) took his hand and then the three of them silently walked to the home of (Y/N) and Ben, the little boy held tightly in the grip of his older sister. 

“Thank you, Tommy.” (Y/N) grabbed his hand before he could leave after dropping them off. 

“It’s fine. Tell me how he goes yeah?” Tommy briefly squeezed her hand back before he left.

A week later, a knock at the door pulled Tommy away from the very amusing fight between John and Ada that he was watching. Opening the door, he was met with the bright smiles of both (Y/N) and Ben, the young boy hopping into his arms with an exclamation of his name,

“Tommy!”

“Hey, bud! How you feeling?” Tommy lifted Ben so he was comfortably sat on his hip.

“Good! I got the whole week off school!” Ben grinned at Tommy who smiled back.

“Here” Tommy looked towards (Y/N) who was holding out a picnic basket, “Mum told us to give it to as a thanks. It’s mostly just biscuits and cakes and she says we still owe you but don’t take the piss.” (Y/N) laughed 

Tommy paused before he spoke his next words, “You know what else I’d like?”

(Y/N) shrugged.

“A date. You and me.”

“A date?” (Y/N) should of honesty expected this.

“Yea, a date.”

“A date!” Ben chimed in, clearly having no idea about what they were talking about but wanting to get involved in the conversation.

“Okay…a date.” (Y/N) smiled at Tommy who smiled back.

Tommy let Ben down who rushed back to (Y/N)’s side and held her hand. 

“I’ll pick you up after school on Thursday.” 

Tommy watched as (Y/N) nodded her agreement and left with Ben, not going back indoors until they left his line of sight. 

[jammatown919]

Another Love (Lauryssa)

Note: A complete shot in the dark as to where this is in the timeline) Content: In which Nyssa steals a kiss and Laurel doesn't know what to do about it.

Over the past year, training with Nyssa had easily become one of the Laurel's favorite pass times. At first, it had been because these moments had always made her feel like some small piece of Sara was still with her, but things were different now. Sara was back, and Nyssa had become so much more to Laurel than just a reminder of her sister. They were friends, best friends, and Laurel would be lying if she said she didn't think about this woman all the time.

She looked forward to the training sessions they held in the disused warehouse they'd claimed as their own, not because she particularly enjoyed sparring, but because she loved spending time with Nyssa. She loved the way Nyssa gently corrected her, loved the way she fought, loved the playful banter they kept as they trained, loved taking her to their favorite diner afterward.

Of course, their closeness didn't mean that Nyssa would ever considering going easy on Laurel, as she knew all too well from being knocked flat on her back for the third time that evening.

"Dead." Nyssa declared. She lightly jabbed her training staff into Laurel's gut, eliciting a small "oof!" from her opponent. "Your stance needs to be wider, or else you'll be easily unbalanced."

She extended her hand, and Laurel pretended to reach for it. As Nyssa relaxed, clearly under the impression that they were done for the moment, Laurel took the opportunity to kick out at her legs. Nyssa's eyes widened slightly with the impact, but she hardly moved. Laurel sighed, accepting defeat, and took Nyssa's hand to hoist herself up.

"Nice try," Nyssa offered, a hint of playful smugness in her voice. "But without proper form, that move won't do you much good against someone who know what they're doing."

"It's worked on Ollie, though." Laurel pointed out.

"Like I said." Nyssa replied smoothly, prompting Laurel to let out a loud bark of a laugh.

"That's cold."

"Hardly." Nyssa rolled her eyes, the smallest of grins on her face. Laurel let her gaze linger on it. She'd never known Nyssa to smile much, which was a shame, because her smile really was a sight to behold. "What are you staring at?" Nyssa gave her a look, and Laurel quickly averted her eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." She said hastily, slowly looking back at Nyssa. "You just have a nice smile."

Nyssa said nothing for a few moments, during which Laurel could almost swear that her face had flushed.

"Well, if you're finished," Nyssa began, and any remnant of a blush disappeared. "How about one more go tonight?"

Laurel almost said no, that she was too tired to get her ass handed to her a fourth time, but there was something in the way Nyssa was looking at her that made her want to stay. She could handle a few more minutes of training.

"Yeah," She agreed. What was the harm in one last round? "One more."

Laurel quickly scooped up the training staff she'd dropped during her fall and assumed a defensive position, waiting for Nyssa to make the first move. Nyssa came at her smoothly, their staffs clashing together once, then twice, and as Laurel moved to strike a third time, Nyssa's leg swept out and her foot crashed into Laurel's ankle.

Startled, Laurel let out a yelp and instinctively grabbed onto her friend's sleeve in an attempt to right herself. Her weight brought them both to the floor, Nyssa on top of Laurel.

"I thought you said that move didn't work." Laurel grumbled as she watched their dropped staffs roll off to the side of the little training area they'd set up.

"I'm not going to make the same joke twice." Nyssa replied, smirking down at Laurel. Her eyes shone with mischief, something that Laurel had seldom ever seen in her.

"Ha ha," Laurel said dryly, attempting to push Nyssa off of her. Predictably, Nyssa didn't budge; even after a year of training, Nyssa was still flatly stronger than her. She'd only be getting up when Nyssa let her. "One of these day it'll be you who's pinned."

"Is that so?" Nyssa asked teasingly, her face so close that her dangling hair brushed Laurel's nose. Is this the part where we kiss? Laurel asked herself jokingly, but before she could say it out loud, Nyssa actually began leaning in.

Their lips pressed softly together, and Laurel had absolutely no idea how to react. On one hand, there was a beautiful, amazing woman whose smile she could never look away from on top of her and kissing her. That thought alone was enough to make her want to melt into the kiss, but on the other hand, this woman was her best friend and her sister's ex girlfriend. They couldn't do this.

Nyssa pulled away after about five seconds, but Laurel felt like they'd been there on the mat for hours.

"Nyssa, what the hell?" She asked breathlessly. Nyssa's eyes widened as she scrambled off of Laurel.

"I thought-" For the first time since Laurel had known her, she actually looked quite spooked. "I- Have I... made things awkward?"

"I mean, yeah, kind of." Laurel said as she got to her feet. "You're my sister's ex!"

"Sara has moved on." Nyssa protested, looking thoroughly embarrassed. "I thought it was time I did the same."

"With her sister?" Laurel asked incredulously.

"With another woman with whom I enjoy spending my time." Nyssa corrected. "But, I am sorry. I never intended to make you uncomfortable."

"It's not that I didn't like that, I just-" Laurel struggled the find the words. The kiss had actually be quite nice. It was her first since Tommy, and she hadn't quite realized until now how much she'd missed that type of affection. "We can't."

"Because of Sara?" Nyssa inquired. "I highly doubt she would mind. And even if she did, why does she get a say? This is entirely up to you and me."

"It's not just Sara," Laurel sighed heavily. "It's everyone. What would my father think of me dating someone who kidnapped my mother? And what about the team?"

"You're making excuses." Nyssa said flatly.

"Excuse me?"

"Laurel, I have feelings for you, and that is the truth." Nyssa told her firmly. "If you don't return them, you can just say it. I won't be hurt. What does hurt me is that you're making excuses, telling me we can't instead of telling me why you won't. Just look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same way and we can move on. We can go back to normal as soon as you say it."

"I-" Laurel froze for a moment. Could she say it? Could she look this woman in the eye and honestly say that she didn't think about her all the time? That her smile didn't light up a room? That she didn't love her?

"Say it, Laurel."

"I can't." Laurel admitted softly. She looked away, suddenly unable to meet Nyssa's gaze.

"And why not?" Nyssa demanded.

"Because it's not true." Laurel hugged her chest, staring pointedly at the floor. "I can't say that I don't love you because that's a lie, but I can't say that I do because it would just complicate everything. I've never even dated a woman before, much less a former assassin. And I know you think I'm making excuses, but you can't honestly tell me that people wouldn't talk." She spoke quickly, urgently, as if something terrible would happen if she didn't get this all out right then.  "Maybe Sara would be fine, but I really don't think my father would approve. He still thinks I'm straight, how am I going to come out and tell him I'm dating my sister's ex who kidnapped my mother all in the same breath?"

She drew in a shaky breath, slightly embarrassed by her outburst.

"Are you finished?" Nyssa said as soon as she could got a word in through Laurel's rambling. Laurel gave her a small nod. "Good. Now look at me." Slowly, Laurel brought her eyes back up to Nyssa's face. "It doesn't matter to me what other people are going think, and I don't know why it matters to you. This isn't their decision. It's yours. I don't care what they want, I'm asking what you want. What do you want?"

Laurel barely had to think about that; she knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted to be wrapped up in Nyssa's arms, and to feel Nyssa's lips on hers without worrying about consequences. It was asking for it that Laurel found difficult. Still, Nyssa was right. This wasn't up to anybody else. She could be with Nyssa, she could love and be loved in a way she hadn't since Tommy's death; all she had to do was say she wanted to.

"I want to kiss you again." Her voice was quiet, like she was telling a secret.

"Is that all?" Nyssa prompted patiently.

"I want to be with you," Laurel confessed. "But I don't know how."

"Did you know how to be a lawyer before you went to law school?" Nyssa asked, giving Laurel pause. What was she getting at? "Did you know how to be a vigilante before becoming the Black Canary? No. You learned how to do those things. If you really want this, you'll learn."

"Okay," Laurel practically whispered. "Where do we start?"

"We start here." Nyssa slowly closed the distance between the two of them and brought one hand up to cup Laurel's cheek. Carefully, Laurel leaned forward until their lips met, her chest fluttering as they pressed against one another. It was short and sweet, and when Nyssa pulled away, Laurel found herself wishing it had been longer.

After separating from Laurel, Nyssa went to collect their staffs, which had conveniently stopped rolling at the bottom of the rack in which they were stored.

"If it's alright with you, I think that's enough training for tonight." She said as she placed the staffs on the rack. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," Laurel smiled as Nyssa turned around to face her, and Nyssa smiled right back. "Our diner's still open. It can be our first date."

Nyssa walked back over to Laurel and held out her hand. Laurel hesitantly took it in her own, running her thumb over the back of it. She couldn't believe they were actually going out. If this went well, she'd have a girlfriend.

"Alright, then," Nyssa replied, turning toward the warehouse's exit. "It's a date."

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Promises Not Kept Part 3

Summary: Tommy Shelby made a promise to Jonah Ward while in the war. A promise he didn't keep. But it comes to haunt him when he tries to drown out his sorrows with a young woman.

Part 3: Tommy and Leah leave Midland and face uncertainty. 

Leah trembled as she walked into the room. Five of the girls were there including Bea. Tommy stood outside by the door, his back to the wall to let them have their privacy.

           Bea stood when she saw the conflicted look on her face. “What’s going on?” She demanded.

           Leah was still in tears. She was perched on the precipice of her life. She could stay there as a prostitute with a questionable future or see if she could find what Jonah hoped for her.

           “I’m leaving.” Her voice was thick as she stooped down to retrieve her coat and bag.

           Bea’s eyes flicked to the door. Tommy’s shoulder was visible, the hallway hazy from his cigarette. A flash of anger crossed her features and she stormed out to confront the man. “Who the hell do you think you are?” The woman snapped and jabbed at his chest with two fingers.

           Tommy could tell she was protective over Leah. And he recalled sleeping with her months earlier, but was probably drunk and remembered very little. “She’s free to make her own choices.” He replied calmly. He was accustomed to being on the receiving end of anger and hysteria.

           Bea’s eyes narrowed. “You fuckin’ Shelbys are demons.” She spat.

           Leah rushed out to diffuse yet another argument. She tugged at her friend’s arm. “He isn’t making me do anything, I’ve made up my own mind.”

           But Bea wasn’t having it. “You’re just movin’ onto the next, huh?” She shoved him. The man sighed and took the abuse. “Your wife was murdered ‘cause of you and now you want another victim to have on your arm? You just don’t fuckin’ care, do you? As long as they’re pretty, eh? Fuckin’ monster, you and your kin.”

           “Stop, please!” Leah begged. She didn’t want Bea suddenly having to deal with the Peaky Blinders. “Jonah didn’t want me doing this.” She tried to draw her attention away from Tommy. “He wanted something better for me.”

           She turned to her, green eyes filled with anxiety. “You don’t think I better for you and all the other girls?” Muffled sounds of sex could be heard down the hallway from them. “I want to see you thrive, Leah. But that man right there will get you killed.” Anger slipped back into her voice. “And as soon as you’re dead and buried, he’ll move onto the next.”

           Leah looked at Tommy. His face was hard to read and he didn’t interject to defend himself. But he wasn’t a monster, she couldn’t see that in him. He was simply damaged like her. “It’ll be okay.” She smiled weakly and touched her friend’s shoulder. “I’ll ring you tomorrow.”

           “Lee…”

           She gave her friend a hug and drew away. Tommy offered an arm to her and Leah turned away from the other girls. There was a sense of guilt knowing she was leaving them behind in the same situation she was escaping from. But she couldn’t take them with her as much as she wanted to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           The car was waiting in front of the hotel still, but the rain had let up. Damp darkness hung over the city. Tommy opened the door for her and held a hand out as she stepped inside. The Bentley’s luxurious interior only reminded Leah of whom she was really dealing with.

           Tommy slid into the backseat beside her and told the driver the destination. They were both quiet as the car traveled down the lamp-lined roads of London. Eventually, they arrived in a nicer area of London. The streets were quieter and the houses appeared well maintained.

           “Where are we?” Leah asked quietly, not familiar with the location.

           “My sister Ada’s,” Tommy answered. “You can stay here for the night. I’ll back ‘round tomorrow to talk. I want to give you the night to think about whatever you need sorted.” He got out of the car, helping Leah down. “Whatever I can do to help get you settled again.” He knew they had both been unsettled for a very long time. Tommy was aware that he only moved further from comfort every day. He set himself up for a chaotic life. But if he could help Leah along, it might give him a reason to get some sleep.

           Ada was accommodating, despite the late hour. She set up Leah in the spare room before giving her privacy. Then she returned downstairs to where Tommy lingered by the front door.

           “How can you trust her?” Ada wasn’t scared of Leah. The Shelby woman could certainly handle her if necessary. Her small handgun was always within arm’s reach. But Ada was concerned about her brother’s fragile state and what a prostitute might do to further shatter him.

           “She’s harmless,” Tommy replied. “And she’s well aware of what we do. She wouldn't test that.”

           “What you do.” She corrected him fiercely and crossed her arms over her chest.

           “Whatever you say, Ada.” Tommy shrugged and opened the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           The next day, Leah was quiet. She made polite conversation with Ada and fussed over Karl, but she was deep in thought. So much so that while playing football outside in the street with Karl, she nearly got hit in the head with the ball.

           Now, noon had rolled around and she sat in the parlor. She was overwhelmed with uncertainty. The night hadn’t done much good and she still hadn’t cleared everything up and made up her mind. Jonah’s face had kept crossing her mind. Those lovely brown eyes that held so much warmth and adoration. His strong hands and his dazzling smile. There was still something deep in Leah that hadn’t accepted he was gone. But she knew that if he were alive out there, somewhere, he would be doing everything within his power to return to her. With every year that passed, another piece of Leah resigned herself to the loss.

           Now she had to deal with the fact that he wanted the Shelbys to take care of her after he passed. Both Tommy and Leah had delayed it, intentionally or not. She wanted to continue dragging her heels more but she wasn’t exactly sure what she was afraid of.

           Maybe because it was Tommy Shelby.

           Maybe his influence and power.

           Maybe it was the way he made her feel.

           The front door opened and from where she was sitting, Leah could see Tommy enter.

           “Uncle Tommy!” Karl cried with joy as he catapulted off the stairs and into the man’s arms.

           “Oof!” Tommy grinned and staggered back a few steps from the impact. “You’re getting big, eh? Sprouting like a weed, ‘fore you know it, you’ll be bigger than me and your mum.”

           “Gonna be taller than Big Ben!” Karl beamed. “I played football with Lee, gotta scratch!” He proudly showed his uncle the scrape on his forearm.

           “Look at that. Getting scuffed up on the streets of London already. Don’t tell your mum, yeah?” Tommy chuckled.

           Seeing the tenderness between him and his nephew was striking. Gangsters weren’t thought to have souls let alone be able to love.

           Tommy noticed Leah watching him from the parlor so he set Karl down. “Why don’t you go find your mum, eh?” The little boy hurried off with a clatter of footsteps after being shooed away.

           Leah averted her eyes as Tommy walked into the parlor. “It’s nice to see a man who’s good with kids.” She admitted shyly. She could remember how the neighborhood kids would flock to Jonah because they wanted to see his army uniform and he’d play along when they pretended to be out on the battlefield, holding up sticks as guns.

           Tommy opened the front button of his coat before sitting across from her. “I have a son, Charlie, who’ll be three soon.” He informed her. “Like you said before, Miss Ward, there are things you don’t know about me.”

           She nodded but couldn’t help be shocked by the news. It was one thing seeing him with a nephew; it was another thing knowing he was raising a child. All the while, the world painted him as a devil. “There are things you don’t know about me too.”

           “Would you like to get to know each other better?” The question was an outreach but his face was like stone. It was as if an internal conflict was yearning outwards.

           Leah’s palms began to sweat. His blue eyes sent chills down her spine because she could still see the way he looked at her those fateful nights. “I’m afraid I’m not very interesting, Tommy. I suppose my story is just a little sad. But I don’t need sympathy.”

           He made a low noise of understanding and nodded. “I’m not very interesting either.”

           Leah laughed and shook her head. “I find that very hard to believe. Nearly half the country knows your name. Maybe even more than that.”

           A faint smile formed on his face. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing her laugh. “Do you like kids?” He asked.

           “Oh, ‘course.” She nodded. “I always wanted to be a nurse. My mother was before she and my father opened the chemist shop. I wanted to be a midwife.” She told him.

           Tommy saw a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. He wondered how long it had been since anyone saw it.

           “I was meant to go off to school after Jonah came home but…” The light faded quickly at the mention of her husband’s death.

           “Would you like to go now?” Tommy offered. “I know people in the field.” He knew many people in many fields but decided he’d had enough grave injuries to rack up a repertoire with some doctors.

           Leah picked at her fingernails, her eyes downcast with shame. “That’s kind of you, but I think it’s too late for me now.”

           He could’ve argued that it wasn’t too late but decided not to be too aggressive about it. “I could offer you a job at my home in Warwickshire. You could look after my son. His nanny is ‘bout to have a baby and will be on leave soon.”

           She swallowed. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful,” She prefaced anxiously. “But I just don’t think I’m qualified. I have nothing to offer you; I’m just a-” Her voice faltered. Just a whore. That’s all she’d known for several years.

           “I don’t need you to offer me anything in return.” He replied and leaned forward to try and catch her eye.

           It was hard to resist those baby-blues. “It’s not just that.”

           “What is it then?” He rested his arms on his knees, his gaze steady on hers. His presence was strangely comforting. Leah never had intimate feelings for a client. Sometimes she had men blindly profess their love to her but she never even felt infatuation for any of the men. But when she was with Tommy, she felt like she was floating from euphoria. Now she wanted a man she had slept with twice, yet she barely scratched the surface of who he was. “You’re confused about our relationship.” Tommy surmised as she bit her lip and gave him a shy but longing look.

           She nodded meekly. “I know it meant nothing to you because-”

           “Who said it meant nothing?”

           The two stared at each other for a bit. It was clear neither of them was willing to be the first to admit the truth. Both of them were severely deprived of affection and had clear physical chemistry, but it had been some time since they found love. They were rusty on the ins and outs of actual relationships and not just flimsy companionships.

          Leah decided it wasn’t the time or the place to take that chance with him. “Ada said there was a dress shop in Birmingham. I thought I’d inquire there about a job. You won’t have to worry about me after that. You’ve already done enough, Tommy.”

           He frowned. “Would you want that?”

           She nodded and smoothed her skirt. “I just need to get my things from my room and find a flat in Birmingham. It would be nice to get away from London.”

           “Most people don’t want to go to Birmingham.”

           “I do.”

           Tommy sighed slightly. He couldn’t picture the beautiful woman in Small Heath. He thought she belonged somewhere like Warwickshire much more. He could see her all done up in the trappings of a wealthy woman. Just like Grace had embraced it.

           That’s what he wanted. He wanted someone to fill Grace’s shoes. To be on his arm. To be a mother to Charlie. To kiss the top of his head at night and whisper small comforts to him. The realization made Tommy feel like he was drowning in a sea of helpless misery because he couldn’t replace her. But he couldn’t be without her.

           “Right, I’ll find you a flat. I’ll pay rent for you. Anything else you need, you can always come to me.” He offered.

           “I have money saved. I can pay rent.”

           He raised an eyebrow and reached for a cigarette. The day was hardly half over and he already wanted it to end. “The first year, I’ll pay.”

           “First month.” She replied. “Honestly, I’ll be just fine on my own.”

           “First six.”

           “First two.”

           He couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Alright. Fair enough.” He stood up and shook her hand. He wanted to add a clause in the verbal contract; he’d get to see her every so often just to ease his sorrow. But he kept that to himself. If luck were on her side she'd find her balance in Birmingham, find her way, and escape. No one in their right mind wanted to be stuck in Birmingham. No one in their right mind wanted to be stuck with him either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Leah didn’t dislike Birmingham as much as others seemed to. She liked the change of scenery because it reminded what she was leaving behind. She began work at the dress shop. An older man owned the place, but his youngest daughter ran it. Beth was a little younger than Leah but the two got along well. Leah got to know her neighbors and became familiar with her surroundings.

         Then, she started to notice men in flat caps lingering around the front of the shop. At first, she thought it was a coincidence, then she realized it was Tommy’s men. They all sported similar shaved haircuts and the signature caps. It was far too often to be a coincidence after the first week.

           “That’s Isaiah.” One morning, Beth pointed out the young man who was taking a smoke across the street. “Isn’t he just as handsome as can be?” She sighed and leaned against the counter, cheek resting on her hand. Her eyes fixed on the young man jostling another boy about. The two were laughing and giving some well-aimed jabs, just acting as boys will.

           “Who’s that with him?” Leah asked as she swept up around the shop. She looked out the window to see they were somewhat familiar to her. They'd been around the shop a few times in the past week. They were smartly dressed compared to the rest of the city and had the flat caps to prove where they'd gotten the money from.

           “Finn, he’s Tommy Shelby’s younger brother.” She answered. “They’re all Blinders. But who doesn't like a little danger? Leaves ya breathless, doesn't it?” Beth gave her new friend a coy smile.

           So he was keeping an eye on her. Leah sighed and shook her head. “I dunno anymore." She mumbled under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Two days later, Tommy finally made an appearance. He walked into the shop, slipping off his cap. He nodded to Beth whose eyes went wide at the sight of him. The pristinely dressed Blinder stood there, exuding intimidation that came naturally from his reputation and icy blue eyes. “Is Leah in?” He asked while he approached the front counter.

           In the backroom, Leah could hear his deep voice. She came out before Beth could answer him. “Tommy.” She greeted with quiet shock.

           There was no mistaking the look of relief on his face. Their eyes met and for a few beats, they didn’t speak. Neither of them noticed until Beth cleared her throat to disrupt the tense moment.

           “Oh, sorry.” Leah’s cheeks went red. “Tommy, this is Beth, the owner’s daughter.”

           He gave her a polite nod. “Nice to meet you.” Of course, she knew who he was just like everyone else in Birmingham, so there was no need to introduce himself.

           Beth looked a little squeamish that the head of the Peaky Blinders was standing so close. Most Brummies kept their distance if they knew what was good for them. “Likewise.” She said quietly.

           Leah could sense her discomfort. “Maybe we could talk outside. Beth, is it alright if I step out for a mo’? Won't be long.”

           “No, that’s fine.” She wasn’t about to interfere with Tommy there.

           The two went out to stand by the shop. Tommy lighting a cigarette once outside. He paced a few steps as he took two drags. “Sorry to interrupt while you’re working.”

           “That’s okay.” Leah could feel her heart beating faster. She had managed to keep herself busy the two weeks she spent apart from him. But now that he was nearby again, she felt the yearning for his touch. “I just thought you’d come around sooner.” She admitted sheepishly. “I know you’ve had your men watching the place from time to time.” She told him honestly. "Beth recognized some of them, your brother was around I guess. I dunno if you knew or..." She bit her lip.

           “Well…” He shrugged but knew he was caught. Of course, he'd had some men check the shop every so often. He wanted to be sure Leah was safe in his city. It was overbearing, he knew that, but he was away and felt uneasy. “I was in London for a bit. Just wanted to make sure everything was coming along for you. Wanted to make sure you weren’t having any problems either.” He gestured with his cigarette to make it seem like it was nothing but a casual drop by. He cleared his throat and glanced down at his expensive shoes. For a moment he debated whether he had the courage to really go through with what he was planning. His eyes returned to her and the words tumbled out. “Do you want to get a drink with me? Tonight?”

           Leah was surprised but not unpleasantly so. “I suppose that’ll be alright.” She nodded and felt a twinge of thrill and anxiety in her stomach. There was no telling what would happen between them both. They hadn't talked candidly about their complex and confusing relationship. She was afraid that they were on completely separate pages and she would make a fool out of herself.

           He didn’t speak for a bit, just eyeing her. He was definitely a hard man to read by face value but after spending a lot of time with men at their most vulnerable, Leah thought she could pick out male emotions.

           “Are you lonely, Tommy?”

           His lips parted and a bit of smoke escaped as he let out a huff of bitter amusement. “Do lonely men go to pay for companionship?” It was his natural defensive mechanism, answering a question with another question.

           She nodded with a wrinkled brow and a frown. There was no telling what he was getting at so she indulged his question. “Sometimes, yes.”

           “But you’re not a whore.” He pointed to the door beside her. “You’re a shop girl.”

           Leah couldn’t help but smile. It was refreshing to hear him reinforce the new chapter of her life. “You can still be lonely and want to take out a shop girl. Not all men go to whores when they're lonely.”

           He let a smile tug at his lips but didn't reply. “I’ll see you at the Garrison at nine then?” He pulled his gold pocket watch from his waistcoat to check the time. His little detour was going to make him late to a family meeting but he couldn’t have cared less.

           She knew he was avoiding the root of probably many of his issues. Losing Jonah was definitely the root of her issues. For years she coped on her own without the comfort of anyone else. She could only imagine Tommy was doing the exact same thing. “Okay.”

           He pulled on his cap and went to leave before she stopped him with a touch to the arm.

           “Sorry, I just-” She reached up and carefully brushed a fallen eyelash from his cheekbone.

           Tommy froze when he felt her gentle touch on his skin again. Even a fleeting graze of her finger was enough to make him long for her. It took everything in his power to not bring her back to Watery Lane and resume where they’d left off all those weeks ago. There had been a hunger gnawing at him those two weeks they were apart. Perhaps he had become addicted to her and was coping with the withdrawals.

           Leah’s eyes fell to a glint of metal poking out from the brim of his flat cap. It was chilling to think that all the men who had been lingering around the shop were probably sporting the same weapon. What was stranger was how Tommy reacted under her touch. Birmingham’s most powerful men looked ready to fall to his knees for her. “Just an eyelash.” She explained, a quiver in her voice. She took a step back to break the spell and let the stray eyelash fall from her pointer finger. “Anyway, I should get back to work.”

           Tommy realized his hand was shaking. “Oh, right.” He nodded stiffly but wasn’t really comprehending her words or his own. God only knew how he was going to get through the rest of the afternoon.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​ @kimmietea​

Masterpost

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[cottontail20]

Love Will Thaw, Chapter 4: A Beautiful Day

Summary: Wanda and Vision face an unexpected event after their marriage.

Ao3 link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/22584529/chapters/54490264

Wanda and Vision arranged their Wedding for late Spring, the weather warm, bordering on hot as they headed towards Summer. They kept the event quite small, just the Avengers, really, and they held it at the Barton Farm, which had so far still remained undiscovered by the paparazzi. This was good. It meant that their day was just for them.

There, in front of those who were most important to them, Wanda and Vision made their vows, and became Husband and Wife.

The Sun had shone, birds were singing. A perfect day. --

It wasn't until a little over a month after the couple had returned from her Honeymoon that Wanda began to realise they may have brought back an unintended souvenir. She hadn't made the connection between all the little signs, because.. Well, mostly because it just wasn't possible, was it?

Nausea that seemed to mysteriously disappear in the afternoon? She must have caught a stomach bug.

Tender breasts? Well, she had been meaning to get a properly fitted bra.

And uh, maybe a certain monthly friend had failed to arrive because she was stressed after months of Wedding Planning.

Except that Wanda wasn't stressed. Living with Vision, being his wife, made her so happy, happier than she had ever been. The only source of stress in Wanda's life was her current set of symptoms that only lead to one, impossible conclusion..

That she was pregnant. For a moment, Wanda had let herself imagine a tiny bundle, half her, and half him. A little miracle.. Then the moment had shattered.

Because she couldn't be pregnant. Vision couldn't get her pregnant.. Could he?

Getting Vision back had been her miracle, and Wanda wasn't sure she deserved another, even after all she had suffered.

Wanda knew Vision was worried about her morning illnesses. How would she explain this to him? What if he thought she'd cheated?

She had to know for sure before she said anything. --

Wanda had Natasha bring her a test, trusting her to be discreet. Told Vision they would be engaging in a bit of girl talk to keep him out of the way for a bit, not that they needed to. He was perfectly happy to stay out working in their garden. He loved helping things grow. Gardening was a pastime that Wanda also usually enjoyed at the moment, mostly because, though Vision could regulate his body temperature, he usually dressed for the weather anyway, meaning he often went without a shirt in the garden.

With Vision happily occupied, Wanda hurried upstairs with Natasha to take the test. Paced nervously as she waited for the results.

Wanda stared at the two little lines with a lump in her throat, not sure whether to smile or cry.

"What am I going to do?" She'd panicked. "This isn't possible. Vision can't.."

"Clearly it is, and he can" said Nat. When Wanda still looked distressed, the Widow's gaze softened. "I understand that this is a bit unexpected, but It's not as bad as you think. Vision loves you. Just tell him. He'll probably be shocked, but.. He'll understand.."

"I hope so.." Wanda sighed. --

When Vision had come in from the garden later, wiping soil from his hands, he was surprised to find Wanda alone.

"Did Natasha leave?" He frowned. "She didn't say goodbye.."

"I think she wanted to give us some time.." said Wanda nervously. One hand rested on her stomach, already protective of the life growing within, despite her stress. "Come sit down, Vizh. I need to tell you something.."

"Is something wrong?" He hurried to sit beside her.

"No. Well, I don't know.. I took a test, and.."

"Are you sick?" Vision immediately panicked, grasping her hand. "You've been so ill in the mornings.."

"No, I'm not sick.." Wanda took a shaky breath. "I.. I'm.."

"Wanda" Vision squeezed her hand. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I.. I'm Pregnant."

"Oh.." Vision froze, silent for a long moment.

"Vision.." the lump in Wanda's throat returned. "P-Please say something.. I'm sorry, I didn't think this could happen, I.. Mmm.."

Suddenly he was kissing her, silencing her in the same way she had for him on the day he had proposed.

"No. You never say sorry for this."

"I.. I don't?" Wanda's breath caught, because Vision was looking at her the same way he always had, like she was the most wonderful thing in the universe.

"No" said Vision seriously. "You are my miracle, Wanda, you always have been.. This is just another one. I was.. I was just wondering what I'd done to deserve it."

A small smile crossed his face, and Wanda felt herself returning it. She could let herself be happy about this, if he was happy too.

"I've been wondering the same thing.."

"Can I.." Vision whispered, almost shyly reaching for Wanda's stomach.

"Of course" Wanda took Vision's hand, laying it beside her own.

Vision's entire face lit up with the most wonderful, dazzling smile, and he laughed joyously, because even though it was too soon to really feel anything, he still thought he could. Warmth, love, and happiness, flowing from the tiny new life. And Wanda laughed with them, because she could feel it too, and maybe the universe had decided it owed them one more miracle after all. --

And a miracle it remained, because no-one could work out exactly how it happened. The most anyone could guess was that it had something to do with Wanda's role in reviving Vision. She viewed him as more man than machine, so that is what he had become.

As always, Vision was a perfect, if slightly overprotective partner during Wanda's pregnancy. He attended every appointment, including the one where they discovered they were expecting twins, and later when they learned that both babies were boys. Helped decide their names: Thomas and William, aka Tommy and Billy.

Vision tended to Wanda's every need, giving her back and foot rubs, and rushing to the shops at odd hours. This was fine until Winter arrived during Wanda's third trimester. She had not forgotten that bad things happened to them when it was cold.

She would wait anxiously by the door, but thankfully, Vision always returned to her safely. --

It was near freezing the morning Wanda went into labour. The first snow of Winter was forecast for that day, but it hadn't yet arrived by the time Vision rushed her to the hospital. A lot of that time was a blur.

She remembered screaming at Vision, that this was his fault, that she hated him, that he was never touching her again.. None of which she actually meant, and all of which she'd apologised for later, but at the time, Vision had taken her verbal abuse with the same grace with which he handled most situations, simply holding her hand and offering gentle encouragement through the pain.

It felt like she was pushing forever, and then, quite suddenly, a tiny, dark-haired little boy was placed on Wanda's chest, screaming his displeasure at leaving the warmth and safety of his Mother's womb, followed quickly by his brother, whining, a quieter little soul, his tiny hand already grasping the front of Wanda's hospital gown.

"Oh.." Vision whispered, a slight tremble in his voice, "Wanda, they're perfect.."

And they were. Her sons were the most beautiful things she had ever seen. --

Vision followed Tommy and Billy as they were taken for their first bath, and a few tests, allowing Wanda, exhausted from her efforts at bringing their sons into the world, to shower and rest.

When she woke a little while later, Wanda found her Husband staring into the two little cots holding their sleeping twins, seeming rather awestruck. She felt her heart swell, a fond smile spreading over her face, because all three of them were hers. Her boys, her family.

"Hey, Vizh.."

"Hello" His eyes lit up when he saw her awake. "How are you feeling?"

"A little bit sore" Wanda winced slightly as she sat up, "But that will pass. How are our baieti mici?"

"They are sleeping. But a nurse warned me that they will probably wake hungry soon.." Vision glanced back to the tiny sleeping bundles in the cots, his eyes sparkling, clearly still in awe. "They look like me. I can see myself in their faces.."

"Of course they look like you, Vizh. You're their Father."

"I know. I just.. assumed they would look more like you. You are.."

"I'm what?" Wanda frowned.

"You are real, Wanda.." said Vision, "And I.. Well, I've never really been sure whether I was or not. But I must be, I suppose, If I helped make them.."

"Of course you're real" Wanda, ignoring the objection from her exhausted muscles, got out of bed, moving to kiss him. "You're real, and you are mine. A mea. Mine. Okay?"

"Sunt a ta" Vision replied in Wanda's own language, returning her kiss. "I am yours."

"Good" Wanda smiled. Tommy woke then, wailing, demanding to be fed. Wanda scooped him up, and Vision quickly moved to let her have the chair. "Thanks, Vizh.. Okay, om mic, let's see if Mama can work this out.. Whoa, you were hungry, weren't you?"

Billy whined, also hungry, but much less demanding about it. Vision lifted him gently from his cot, holding him close.

"It's alright, it will be your turn soon.." He looked towards the window of their room. The first snowflakes were starting to fall, tiny, perfect, delicate things. He knew it was still cold outside, but that didn't bother him any more. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yes.." Wanda smiled softly, "it is." --

Nearly two years later, Wanda was snuggled asleep in bed Vision holding her, when a tiny hurricane sped into their room, pouncing on them both.

"Mama, Daddy!"

"Oof" Wanda woke with a grunt. "Mmm.. Morning, Tommy.."

"You need to be more careful of Mama, Thomas.." Vision gently scolded the almost two year old.

"Tommy, wait!" Billy pouted, stomping in after his twin and clambering awkwardly onto the bed. "We tell 'gether!"

"Billy slow!" Tommy huffed.

"Be nice to your brother" Wanda told him, smoothing the hair constantly driven wild by his speeding, while Vision helped Billy the rest of the way up. "Uncle Pietro was fast like you, and he was always nice to me."

"'Kay, Mama. I be nice."

"Good" Wanda smiled proudly.

"Now what did you boys want to tell us?" Vision asked.

"Snow ou'side!" said Billy excitedly.

"I see.." Wanda smirked, glancing at Vision. This was the first year their boys would be old enough to understand and appreciate snow, and they'd been telling them all about it.

"We play?" Tommy asked hopefully.

"You'll have to have breakfast first" said Vision.

"And dress up warm" Wanda added. "But yes, then you can play."

"Yay!" Both boys hurried out of the room.

Laughing, Wanda got out of bed, Vision close behind her. She leaned into Vision's side as they followed the twins to the kitchen, smiling when he kissed the top of her head.

Neither one of them had to be afraid anymore.

The cold could be something beautiful, if you had the right person to keep you warm.

Notes:

Translation:

baieti mici: little boys

om mic: little man

[inagetawaycarxo]

Blood Lust| Vampire!Tom Holland

Requested By @cosmicstarbabe

— Hi Hun! I've been reading a few things and your writing is so good! I wanted to know if requests are still open? If so, I wanted to request a vampire au with Tom! Where he ends up meeting the reader on a casual night out~ thank you sunshine! Have a nice day or night where you are and stay hydrated!

✧ Pairing: Vampire!Tom Holland x Reader

✧ Featuring: Vampire!Harrison Osterfield, F/n, Zendaya, bartender, patrons.

✧ Summary: you meet Tom in a pub, but he is lusting for your blood rather than you, or both.

✧ WARNINGS: ignore the summary, angsty? alcohol, pubs, blood, vampirism, supernatural themes, injured! Reader, comforting friends (well one of them is comforting).

✧Word Count:1640

✧ A/n: f/n = friends name, requests are open!!!

Your fingers tapped lightly on the surface of the countertop, leaning slightly on it as you waited for the bartender to fill the three glasses up with liquor.

You turned your head to the left, looking at the table were your friends sat.

Zendaya looked uninterested in whatever f/n was telling her, probably the latest crush she had.

Zendaya rolled her eyes, her gaze drifting over to you as she gave you a pleading look, to come over and rescue her from f/n’s rambling. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. You turned back around quickly as you heard glass clinking against the wood counter in front of you.

"Thank you." You spoke, as the bartender smiled at you, then walked away from you to serve another customer, you quickly grabbed some napkins from the napkin dispenser, before huddling the three glass cups together, before carefully picking them up, your tongue poking out just a bit as you concentrated on trying not to drop them, just as you turned around you bumped straight into someone, making you let out a yelp, dropping all the three glasses onto the floor, making the glasses shatter into pieces while liquid spilled onto the floor. 

"Shit." You cursed, pushing the fallen strands of your hair that fell in front of your face behind your ear hastily.

"I am so sorry, I should have been paying more attention to where I was walking." You apologized, kneeling so you could clean up the mess, the guy followed suit, as you used the napkins to pick up the broken glass, putting it into a not so broken glass cup.

"It's fine, I'm just as much to blame as you are, I wasn't really paying attention." Tom spoke, as he started to pick up the broken glass. His friend Harrison leaned against the counter as he watched the whole interaction, smirking at his friend. Tom snapped his head up to look at you, staring at you intently, his eyes quickly scanned your body up and down, biting his lip, as his eyes darkening with lust.

"I'm such a clutz." You mumbled to yourself, though Tom could hear you. Tom has about to say something when he heard you let out a swear word, then he smelt the sweet metallic scent of blood, his heart quickened, as he gulped trying to ignore his animalistic side that was coming out, god how he wanted to sink his teeth into your neck and suck you dry.

You grabbed one of the unused napkins wrapping it around the cut on your finger. While Tom looked away from you, gulping again, as he tried to compose himself, the sclera of his eyes turned blood-red, as dark veins appeared under his eyes as the blood pumped through them, his canine teeth extend into razor-sharp fangs, poking against his bottom lip.

Toms eyes snapped closed, then snapped open again, as the desire to drink your blood only grew stronger, he had to get out of this pub before he sinks his fangs into your neck. His eyes snapped open again, as he clenched his fist to his side. The piece of broken glass he was holding pierced into the palm of his skin, but he didn’t care, it would heal.

You were just about to say something to the guy when he quickly stood up abruptly, making you flinch, your head snapped up to look at him, noticing he looked pale, also looked like he was in pain.

"I have to go." the guy spat out, turning around and walking away from you and out of the pub, while you just looked at him in shock, his friend who was watching him had wide eyes, he quickly followed after him, turning back to look at you and giving you an apologetic look.

You stared at them in shock. What the hell, just happened? Did I do something wrong? You thought.

You were too deep in thought that you didn’t notice that f/n and Zendaya come over to you. Until you felt a hand gently touch your shoulder. Zendaya kneeled beside you, concern clouding her eyes as she looked at you.

“You okay?” she asked, as she started to pick up the rest of the glass.

“Yeah, I think.” you squeaked out.

“He was so hot, you should have gotten his number or at least his friends’ number, he was hot too.” f/n spoke, making you and Zendaya look up at her as she stood in front of you’s. You gave her a confused look while Zendaya gave her an annoyed look.

F/n turned her gaze towards Zendaya, f/n shrugged her shoulders before speaking.

“What, I just want my friend to date, to finally be happy.” F/n she exclaimed, making Zendaya roll her eyes, while you just gave f/n a smile.

“Y/n, doesn’t have to date to be happy.” Zendaya scoffed, clearly annoyed by f/n antics in trying to get you a boyfriend.

“But she deserves a boyfriend.” f/n huffed.

“And she will find one, stop pressuring her too much.” Zendaya sighed.

“I wasn’t, he is hot she is hot, what a perfect combination.” f/n explained.

Zendaya let out a scoff, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Just because they look hot, doesn’t mean there is any deep emotional attachment, a relationship isn’t about looks f/n.” Zendaya snapped.

F/n was about to argue back, but Zendaya interrupted her again.

“Here take these to the bartender, y/n and I will wait for you outside, we are going to the club.” Zendaya ordered her, as she held up the two half-broken glass cups filled with broken glass towards f/n.

F/n let out a huff, grabbing them and giving Zendaya a bitchy glare, Zendaya returned the look.

“Fine.” She huffed, turning on her heel and walking to the counter.

“Bit harsh.” You spoke, making Zendaya look at you, she just shrugged.

“She will live.” Zendaya grumbled, helping you up, as you and she made your way out of the pub, leaning against the wall, as you two waited for f/n to come out.

“You know she isn’t that bad, she’s just showing her love” you spoke, making Zendaya snort.

“Love, she is obsessed with your love life and mine, even her own, I don’t even know why we are still friends with her?” Zendaya grumbled as she unlocked her phone, opening the Instagram app, and scrolling through it.

You let out a snicker, your eyes wandered down to the napkin wrapped around your finger, you let out a sigh, just as your thoughts were about to consume you, Zendaya spoke.

“Stop.” She warned, making you look at her.

“What?” you replied.

“Stop thinking about that asshole.” She responded.

“Maybe he hates blood?” you mumbled, looking back at the napkin that was wrapped around your finger.

“He is an asshole, it’s not your fault you cut your finger on a piece of broken glass and he couldn’t handle it.” Zendaya replied.

“I just, he as kinda cute, and I thought maybe I could, you know, ask for his number, maybe go on a date, I don’t know.” You confessed, Zendaya gave you a sad smile before speaking.

“And you will meet more kinda cute guys who won’t run away at the sight of blood.” Zendaya responded.

You were about to say something, but f/n voice cut you off, making you and Zendaya snap your head towards her direction.

“Let’s go bitches.” She shouted, grabbing yours and Zendaya’s hand, pulling you two with her towards the direction of the club.

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 MEANWHILE

Tom leaned against the wall, trying to control his breathing. It was working, his eyes were back to normal and his fangs were gone. His face was pressed up against the club sign, the cold metal, cooling his skin. Tom felt a gush of wind by his side.

“Are you okay?” Harrison asked, walking over towards Tom. He rested his hand on Tom’s shoulder, his eyes clouded with concern as he looked at his friend, waiting for his reply.

“Yeah, I just, I lost control and I had to get out of there before I sucked her dry or worse ripped her throat out.” Tom replied. Turning his head to the side to look at Harrison.

Harrison’s eyebrows were raised as he smirked at Tom.

“What?” Tom asked, giving Harrison a questionable look.

“Oh, just that I could see you giving her the bedroom eyes.” Harrison smirked, making Tom roll his eyes.

“Admit it, you started to develop feelings for this chick, even though you just meet her.” Harrison spoke.

“Maybe... it’s not like I can do anything about it, besides I don’t want her to be dragged into my chaotic life, I don’t want the reason for her death to be my doing, or the reason she turned to be my doing.” Tom sighed.

“You are such a hopeless romantic Tommy, but you will probably end up stalking her.” Harrison chuckled.

“Will not.” Tom huffed, smacking Harrison in the chest hard, which made Harrison let out an oof noise.

“Sure, you won’t, now let’s go find some girls to compel, I’m starving.” Harrison spoke, jumping down from the building and landing on the ground on his feet perfectly, Harrison composed himself, before looking up at Tom, giving him a questionable look.

Tom stared at Harrison on the ground, his mind wandering to you, maybe another girl would be the perfect distraction to get you off his mind. Tom landed on the ground beside Harrison, standing up straight, and fixing his outfit, turning to look at Harrison who was smirking at him.

“After you.” Tom smirked, as they walked into the club…

[vsullivan]

Lucky 7 | Steve Harrington x Reader - pt. 2

WARNING I haven’t finished season 3 yet, I’m on chapter 7 and am savoring the episodes so I’m trying not to binge them. But I’ll be writing more don’t worry! Sorry if I make plot errors. Also, I want to make it a point not to really describe Seven’s physical appearance (other than clothes, and I’ll probably make references of her having hair but not really describing the haircut), I feel like leaving it ambiguous really helps readers envision how they want Seven to look and I want everyone to feel included :^)

  Father had made it very clear to her that these memories she’s seen are not her own. They are not hers to act on, nor hers to replicate. She is simply recounting these scenes and relaying them back to the men in white coats. And for a long, long time, she complied to these rules.

 Chapter 2: Mall Trip

 Father had made it very clear to her that these memories she’s seen are not her own. They are not hers to act on, nor hers to replicate. She is simply recounting these scenes and relaying them back to the men in white coats. And for a long, long time, she complied to these rules.

 Another power of hers that Father discovered was the ability to force others to perform actions against their will or knowledge – just from a simple gaze. As she does to view memories, she can grasp that tendril and give the individual tasks that they will execute without question. She had not realized this discovery caused others to become wearier around her, for Father was an expert of concealing the truth. However, she did notice that she was forced to wear her eye mask more often, and the men in white coats began to wear sunglasses during experiments. When she asked the reason why, Father simply stated “For your safety.” She didn’t question it.

After her first successful attempt of controlling someone’s actions, similar experiments were thrown in amongst the usual memory exploration. She’d been told to make someone tie their shoes when they were wearing sandals; to make a bald man to brush the hair he did not have – simple tasks that would be unusual for the individual to do of their own will. Eventually, she grew bored of these experiments, and when she expressed this she was scolded and harshly dragged to her room.

When she was alone, she sometimes dreams of having a family who hug and smile at her without that layer of fabric that prevents her from seeing those eyes full of love and arms that stretch out to embrace her. She would use the faces of mothers and fathers she’d seen in others’ memories, of siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles, all to dream of her having the same simple life. She began to envy family life of individuals’ whose minds she explored.

And when she grew older, she began to envy their freedom.

-         

Seven already accomplished her first task of begging Hops to borrow his ride to the mall. It was a struggle each time, because despite him having taught her to drive a vehicle, the thought of her, without a license or any real identification whatso-damn-ever, scares the pure hell out of him. However, those puppy eyes get him every time, and he always winds up tossing her the keys, a frown on his face as he warns her to “Don’t kill yourself, my car, or others. In that order.” That makes her smile every time too.

 Once, Seven met Steve and Nancy’s ex friends from highschool. The girl, who had a pretty face but a nasty mouth, commented on how ‘good will’ Seven’s outfit was. At first, she didn’t know what that meant. Her response was to smile and utter a thanks, while the ex-friend’s face contorted into a look of confusion. The male who accompanied her snickered, eyeing Seven up before stating “Cute, but yeah, you look piss poor.” At that, Seven’s smile fell and she noted how Nancy’s gaze turned heated as she stared at the two degrading her new friend.

 “Let’s go.” Nancy said as she took ahold of Seven’s wrist, guiding her away from the mocking that ensued as she was pulled away. “Have fun with Nancy The Slut Wheeler, hobo.” The male shouted after them, and Seven’s couldn’t stop herself from turning back to meet the boy’s gaze. She grasped ahold of that tendril, and next thing you know he poured the slushy he’d been holding over his head and slinging the remnants on his companion who squealed in response.

 “What the fuck, Tommy!?” Once Seven looked away the boy snapped back to his senses. He made an “Oof” sound as he was smacked in the gut. “I-I don’t know, what just happened?” He stumbled over his words, the girl beside him began to berate him as he fumbled over how to explain what the hell just happened.

 Wiping the blood dripping from her nose, Seven smiled as she listened to the two’s heated discourse, knowing full well Nancy had the same little smirk as she continued to drag Seven away from the scene.

 From that day on, she never thought to change her wardrobe. Not only did she not have any money aside from the spare change Hops would give her to treat El to some snacks and pizza, but she really liked her oversized sweaters and faded denim jeans, thank you. Sometimes she did wonder if Steve also thought she looked like she’d come ‘straight outta good will,’ but he’s never given any indication that he did. In fact, he once complimented her on one of her father’s old leather jackets she’d worn to one of the group’s monster hunting meetings. She would never not appreciate Hops’ hand-me-downs, even if they were way too damn big. She made downsizing her clothes a hobby anyways.

              With that notion, she didn’t bother to change her outfit before hopping into the car and starting her drive to the mall. As always, she drove five miles under the speed limit – something Hops trained her to do. However, she always wondered why the cars behind her honked sporadically and drove only a centimeter distance between their vehicle and her own. When she asked her dad he said, “Don’t worry about it, they’re the ones that wind up in the ditch.” And because she didn’t want to wind up in a ditch, she sometimes drove another five miles below when the road was crowded. For some reason, this made even more honks sound in the distance.

She parked as far away from the building as possible, fearing someone might scratch the car up – or something that would undoubtedly get Hops’ panties in a twist. Turning off the engine, Seven sighed, anxiety had been building the whole ride there – and not solely because of the stream of honks that followed her during the drive. She threw her head back against the seat, her heart pounding as she envisioned the same chipper grin he’d given her the beginning of the summer, despite the red of his cheeks that she later discovered was a result of embarrassment. The kids told her that he was embarrassed of his uniform, but she herself thought it was adorable – she’d never seen that kind of outfit before, and really didn’t know what a sailor was until someone explained. When he first shouted “Ahoy, young lady.” Her eyebrows furrowed and struggled finding the words to respond with. When Steve’s face flushed an even brighter red, the kids she’d came with snickered.

She closed her eyes and spoke a silent promise to herself; I will not embarrass myself. I will not embarrass Steve. I will not be the cause of Robin calling him a dingus. As a matter of fact, I will not go in the store. Her eyelids then fluttered open, finally grabbing onto the handle of the car door and getting out the mini sauna it quickly became under the summer sun.

Marching to the automated glass door of the building, something that still fascinated her to this day (although this time she did not feel compelled to step in and out of the building to entertain herself for thirty minutes before Hops found and asked her what the hell she was doing). Her pace quickened as she strode across the brightly lit store fronts, her eyes staring straight ahead. Her mission was Scoop’s Ahoy, and it wasn’t long before she neared the neon ice cream signs and slowed her pace.

Wanting to relish her drive-by, she slowly carried herself across the space, side eying the interior of the store. A frown found its way to her lips when she didn’t see that beautiful big head she’d come all the way here to see. Actually, no one was at the counter. Disappointment settled in the pit of her stomach as she passed the storefront all together. Sighing, her pace slowed even more as her gaze drifted to the floor. That is, before she her name being called.

“Hey, Sev!” She recognized that voice as Robin’s. Looking up, said girl strode to her, a big grin on full display. “Come to see your favorite dingus?” She winked, causing Seven’s face to heat up. “N-No, I-“ She stammered, “I-I was just passing by.” Robin hummed as an eyebrow of hers perked up. “Oh really, where were you heading exactly?” It took more seconds than it should have for Seven to come up with an excuse, for she really didn’t know any of the names of the other stores in the mall – she hadn’t even been in any aside from Scoop’s.

Robin giggled at Seven’s struggle, a knowing look present in her gaze. Seven didn’t even need to grasp a tendril to know what the girl was thinking. “Right-“ She cooed, the playfulness in her tone rising drastically. “Well, I had just gone off the girl’s room, but now I gotta get back to work.” She then stepped forward and turned her head back to Seven. “You know, the dingus is here too. Why don’t you come say hi?” She winked once more before scurrying back into the store, likely a tad late after her extended break.

Seven’s stomach flipped repeatedly, knowing Robin would undoubtedly declare her presence to Steve. The mischievous teen would likely tell him that Seven seemed to want to come to Scoop’s Ahoy specifically, and she worried if she didn’t show then he’d wonder if she didn’t want to see him – which she did, very much so, but also didn’t want him to think she wanted to very much so. Oof, she really needs to work on how to counter Robin’s tricks.

Taking a breath, Seven exhaled as she leaned her shoulder against the nearest wall. She might as well get it over with. Then, she lifted herself and took her time walking towards the neon signs once more. Her heart was racing as she turned her head to peek in, and she was instantly greeted with the big grin on Robin’s face and a head of hair with a white little sailor’s cap on top sticking out from behind an ice cream display shelf.

She watched as her friend said something Seven couldn’t hear over to the same sailor hat wearing figure looming next to her. Next thing you know, Steve’s pretty face came into view, a grin of his own tugging at his lips as he spotted Seven still peeping inside. Her stomach was doing summersaults as she dared to step into the store, but his smile still coaxed her in. Once she was near the counter, he rejoiced, “Ahoy there, pretty lady.” He spoke, her face flushing at the compliment and her heart racing from just being within the same room as him. “You too.” She said too quickly, immediately regretting her choice of words as her blush spread.

However, it seems as if he’s gotten better used to her anxiousness. “Why thank you,” His eye contact never faltering. “My bad day just got better.” She smiled and added, “Why’s that?” Robin snickered then, shaking her head as she began looking over the register. Steve threw his coworker a quick scowl before turning back to Seven, the smile back on his handsome face. “Well, seeing a pretty girl like you always gets me back into the swing of things.” Seven’s smile grew wider, and he noted to himself that he needed to compliment her directly, otherwise it goes right over her pretty little head.

“You made my day better too.” She added, now picking at the buttons of her shirt to try and relieve some of that nervous energy. “Oh really,” He quirked a brow, “You know how this day could get even better?” She picked her head up from where they were focused on her anxious fingers to that endearing set of brown eyes that looked back at her. “What?” She asked sweetly. “If you would be so kind as to accompany me to a movie at-“ Suddenly, the shout of his name caused Steve to look past her, Seven turning to see too.

A set of pearly white teeth, curly brown hair, and what seemed to be a boy scout uniform greeted them as the boy waltzed his way right up to the counter next to Seven. It took Steve a moment to double back to reality, slightly annoyed by the interruption, but he couldn’t stop the grin from forming as he shouted “Henderson! I missed you buddy.” Seven smiled as she watched the two reunite. Hugs ensued before Dustin turned to give Seven a hug of her own. “Missed you too, Sev.” He said, and she smiled. “Same her.” She stated, not noticing the way Steve looked at her and younger boy – a mix of contentment and slight, and I mean very slight, jealousy written on his features. He’ll have to get back at the little shithead for interrupting him asking out the girl he’s been trying to score a date with for nearly a year.

Sensing that she should probably leave to let the boys catch up, she backed away and cleared her voice. “I’m really happy to see you again, Dustin.” The boy grinned at her before she turned to look at both Steve and Robin. “And you two, but I guess I should get going.” Steve nearly sputtered as she turned to walk away, Dustin throwing him a bamboozled look as the older boy nearly toppled over the counter to reach out to her.

“Oh, wait uh, hey!” He called out, causing Seven to stop in her tracks. Steve swallowed nervously as he watched her look at him in surprise. “Do you, do you-“ It took him a moment to think, “Uh, want to go with the movies with me tonight?” He said, a nervous smile gracing his lips. “It’s a comedy!” He added, and she smiled back at him, and he braced himself for another round of anxious rejection she always served him.

However, this time nothing stopped her from saying what she always wanted to. “Of course,” She stated simply, “What time?” Don’t be fooled, her heart is about to burst from how fast its beating and she even surprised herself with how she so easily accepted his proposal. His eyes widened, bewilderment adorned his face from the surprise acceptance as his brain scrambled to answer back.

“Hm, how about 7?” He grinned, mentally patting himself on the back at his smooth recovery. She nodded quickly, this time she knew better than to answer back as if he was saying her name instead of a time. “That’d be great!” Hearing that, he had to resist the ‘hell yeah’ that resounded in the back of his mind as he said, “I’ll pick you up around 6:40 then.” She nodded once more, sealing the deal and neither of them could be happier.

“Wow, so you finally got that date, huh?” Dustin sounded once Seven had left the store, his arms crossed as he watched Steve continue to stare in the direction in which she left even after she’d already disappeared. “Uh, um, yeah.” He snapped out of his thoughts and turned to his good friend who seemed annoyed, yet happy for him at the same time. “I’m impressed,” Robin suddenly stepped in, apparently Steven hadn’t notice her go in the back and get the white marker board that presented “You Suck, and You Rule” on either side.

There were at least 10 tally marks on the side of “You Suck,” all of which indicated how many times he’s tried and failed to get Seven to go out with him. But now, finally, he watched as Robin slowly opened a marker and mark that first tally under “You Rule.” She smirked as she put the cap back on.

“Now let’s see how many more you can get, if any.”

              Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Tag list: 

@a-girl-who-loves-disney <33 

idk what happened i tried to edit the post and then everything was gone rip. 

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

(ao3 story link)

A/N: HERE WE ARE. The story began with Jamie getting ready for a Reagan Family Sunday dinner and 40-some chapters later, it wraps up at another one. This is the last chapter of A Made Man, the third installment of The Penthouse series. What a damn ride this has been. Oof. Thanks for being here for it all.

Chapter 47.

“Uncle Jamie, that’s a pretty sick watch.”

I barely hear the observation from my nephew Jack across the dining room table. My gaze is fixed on the mountain of macaroni and cheese on my plate in front of me, the sight alone making my stomach turn.

“Hey Uncle Jamie—” Danny’s voice cuts through as he settles into his seat. “Jack likes your watch.”

“What?” I utter, glancing up. “Oh. Thanks.”

“That new?” My brother questions with a nod.

I twist my wrist to look at the watch Noble gave me, then clear my throat. “Uh, yeah.”

“Let’s be a little less focused on sick watches just before we say grace, huh?” My grandpa announces and I see Jack snicker with a look to Nicky at Pop’s choice of words. “Since you’re the birthday boy, how about you lead off?”

Suppressing a groan, I scoot closer to the table and rest my elbows on either side of my plate. “Since it is my birthday, I reserve the right to pass,” I decide. “Someone else.”

���Oh, boo!” Danny jeers. “You don’t get a pass.”

“You pass all the time,” I argue.

“Alright, I’ll start.” Erin announces.

My dad pipes up, “Somebody please.”

My sister clears her throat. “Bless us, O Lord—”

Clasping my hands, I tip my forehead down and rest it there, just praying to make it through dinner. 

After grace, as everyone’s passing dishes, I’m relieved, and a little hopeful I can tune out, when Nicky takes over the conversation.

“Was anyone else really moved by that sermon?” She announces, passing the requested salt and pepper over to my dad. “I thought it was so romantic.”

“Romantic?” Sean protests. “Gross, it’s church.”

“Not gross,” she contends.

“I thought it was very beautiful,” Linda indulges her.

“I went and looked up that quote Father Quinn used when he talked about loss and love,” Nicky tells the table, adjusting to pull a folded piece of paper from one of her pockets. “It’s not from scripture; it’s from a book by C.S. Lewis.” As she unfolds the note, she glances up at my father. “Is it okay if I read it, Grandpa?”

My dad inhales deeply through his nose and then offers her one of his tight-lipped smiles to humor her. “Have at it.” 

Nicky grins, straightening her shoulders. “In love,” she recites, “there is no safe investment. If you want to make sure of keeping your heart intact, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness--”

I scoff this unintended loud breath and hunch over my plate, as if I could somehow escape this. 

Slowly, she turns her gaze my way. “I’m not finished.”

“Your niece is trying to appreciate literature,” Danny taunts. “Do you mind?”

Acquiescing, I merely gesture to her to carry on.

“But in that casket,” she resumes. “It will change. It will not break, but instead your heart will become impenetrable. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is hell--”

“Alright--” Erin speaks up while the end of Nicky’s reading prompts looks from Danny’s kids.

My brother chuckles. “It’s a little deep for fried chicken night. That’s all.”

“Give me a break,” I mutter, reaching for my water. “Who gave the homily? Doctor Phil? Glad I missed it.”

“I really enjoyed it.” Nicky shrugs. “I think it’s so true. To love is to be vulnerable--”

“What are you talking about?” I hear the way my voice cuts harshly into her easy tone, but I’m too tired to come off any other way. “You’re too young to even know what that means, Nicky.”

“Well wait a minute--” she disputes. 

I lean in to look past her at my sister. “You gonna let her spout off about the dangers of love? I didn’t think that was a concept you would endorse.”

Erin just meets my gaze, pausing to draw in a thoughtful breath.

“It wasn’t meant to start an argument,” Nicky insists. “I was going to relate it to the job of being a police officer--”

“Yes, that sounds good,” my dad speaks up. “Let’s relate it to the job.”

“No, let’s relate it to Jamie,” Danny cuts in. “Since that got him all torqued up. What happened, kid? You forget to lock up your heart in the casket of selfishness?”

Nicky giggles at the jab.

I drop my fork and it clatters against the plate as I push back and get to my feet. Turning away from the table, I stalk off out of the dining room.

“Hey. Hey!” I hear my brother holler after me along with Erin who calls my name.

But I can’t listen to this shit. I’d rather sit and have to deal with with my grandpa gripe about those homosexuals appropriating the word gay. It used to mean happy!

I’m not sure where I intend to end up so I just make my way to the bathroom and shut the door.

Already I regret the dramatic storm-off because now I’ll be expected to provide an explanation. Plus that was shitty to do to Nicky.

But of all days, this has to be the one where someone initiates some damn discussion about heartbreak like a cruel joke they’re all in on. 

I pinch right between my eyes and take a deep breath. Fuck, I’m gonna throw up. 

My core seizes and it's only a moment later that I do.

***

After a few minutes, splashing water on my face, attempting something that comes off as normal breathing, I make my way back to the dining room.

“Jamie are you okay?” Nicky speaks up. “I’m sorry if—”

“No, I’m sorry, Nicky.” I sigh, holding onto the back of my chair where I stand. “I’m uh— I’m not feeling well. I think I need to—”

“Did you puke?” Sean wonders, prompting a look of disgust from my grandfather as he chews.

“Sean.”

“It’s your favorite dinner,” Jack adds. “Mac and cheese for your birthday.”

“Boys—” Linda leans in. “Uncle Jamie doesn’t feel well.”

I acknowledge my nephews. “I know. And I appreciate it.”

“Mom made a cake.”

“You don’t look so hot,” Linda notices. “Maybe you should go lie down.”

Deciding not to argue with Danny’s wife, I simply nod. “Yeah. Maybe that’ll help.” Then I turn and head for the staircase. I could try to make it home, but it’s highly likely I’ll throw up again or have some kind of panic attack behind the wheel. So I settle on hiding in my old room upstairs instead.

I never come up here. My childhood bedroom is now this half-transitioned guest room, but a few remnants — a Harvard pennant, along with framed prints of pictures I took at Joshua Tree, a camping trip I made the summer between undergrad and law school — still hang on the wall near my bed. The old Parking For Jets Fans Only metal sign has been hung up by the door for as long as I can remember. It’s weird how these things take you back in time. 

The tall bookcase in the corner displays a few diecast model cars Joe and I used to collect, books I loved in high school, and a stack of CDs next to my stereo. 

I sniff a soft laugh when I peruse the album titles, so distinctly an era that seems a lifetime ago. Sliding out the case for U2’s Rattle and Hum, I pry it open and fit the disc in the CD player. I set it to shuffle the songs and then turn to fall across the bed. 

I don’t know how I got here. It’s like I screwed up so many steps ago, I can’t pinpoint where. I could go farther back than the night I met Noble. 

I think about when I proposed to Sydney. I was twenty-six, deliriously self-righteous after three years in the bubble of ivy league law school, acing the bar exam and convincing myself I’d never wear the NYPD uniform. 

I don’t know what life I pictured for us. But it was an easy enough fit. 

And then my brother was killed. 

The devastation was so consuming I thought I’d never be capable of caring about anything after the loss of Joe. Since, I’ve had to find life with some other purpose. With that engagement in a sort of permanent limbo, I enrolled in the Police Academy. Because it was inevitable? Because I had something to prove? A calling to step up for Joe? Probably all of it. 

And if I never had — If I’d stayed in private practice, married Sydney — would I feel like this much of a fuck up? I’ve never second guessed leaving that path behind until now. 

All I know is that I wish I’d never met Noble Sanfino.

A light tap on the door draws my attention across the room. It eases open and I see Erin, lingering there with some hesitation. 

I simply turn my gaze back up to the ceiling. “What now?” I murmur.

“Jamie, what happened?”

Exhaling a pained, breathy laugh, I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

She steps in the room enough to close the door. “I take it you had a talk with Nick.”

“We’re done, Erin,” I tell her. “It’s over. So— Nice work.”

“Jamie.” She says my name again with this concerned shock and it’s such a fucking joke to me.

My head throbs and I just want this all to be something I never think about. 

“What do you mean it’s over?”

“I questioned him about whether he knew Tommy Messina. He doesn’t. But the reality is he can never be safe in New York so what’s the point? He ended it and he’s staying in Florida. There isn’t much else to explain.”

She comes closer, arms crossed over her chest and glances around the room. “That can’t be the only solution.”

“Well that was his solution so—”

“I’m so sorry. That wasn’t my intent.”

Fuck off, I want to say. I sit up and put my feet on the floor. “Erin.”

“I like Nick a lot.”

I just shake my head and cough out this unamused laugh. “What does that matter now?”

“If I hadn’t called you with that information, would this have happened?”

I shrug. “It would have come to this point sooner or later. I guess we just didn’t want to face it until we had to.”

“So now what?”

I look at her like what the hell do you think. “I guess you can sleep at night without the threat of your car being set on fire. What do you mean now what?”

“You love him, though.” She says it quietly because this is a bizarre conversation we’ve never really had. 

If anything, her input on my relationships has only ever been her chiming in with smug, big sister commentary that I never asked for. 

“I’ll get over it,” I mutter.

She sits there a minute as if she’s contemplating her role in this. It doesn’t matter, though. What’s done is done.

Eventually, she softly attempts her next question. “Do you plan on coming out to Dad at some point?”

I glance at her, my brow furrowed. “Come out about what? No.”

She sighs when she figures that’s a dead end path and tries another way.  “There are options, Jamie. I mean you guys could live in Connecticut, that’d probably be a safer situation, and you could commute—”

Confused, I just shake my head. Don’t do this, don’t fucking problem-solve after that bullshit phone call this morning that prompted this whole fallout. As if I’m anywhere near the right frame of mind to look at the situation with some kind of reason.

Blankly, I merely offer, “I know.” And that nauseated feeling starts to spin in my head once more, but I go on. “That wasn’t the conversation though. We weren’t at a place where we’re like, ready to live together. I don’t know. It’s like, all of a sudden—”

Exhaling hard, the muscles in my chest seize. I try to tip my head back and breathe up at the ceiling but the air is trapped. So I lean forward at the waist where I sit on the edge of the bed and hang my head between my knees. 

I feel Erin’s palm up the center of my back. “Hey, hey, hey— It’s okay. Jamie, it’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t have even considered—”

“Shh.” She cuts me off. “You need to breathe.”

There’s a tightness in my throat and I feel like I’m choking, Like my inhale doesn’t go anywhere. I can tell myself I’m sinking into an anxiety attack but my body doesn’t listen to the rationale. It’s terrifying that I know what it is and I can’t stop it. Telling myself I’m okay doesn’t make it relent. 

“Jamie,” Erin whispers. Then I feel pressure on my back like she’s resting her forehead there as she sits beside me, the weight steadying me. 

She’s had to do this before. But it hasn’t been since mom was really sick, there near the end, that I’ve felt the grip of panic on me this tight. Usually, I’m able to anticipate it, unwind it before I’m held captive, but not this time. 

“Try to breathe in for four seconds,” she says. “With me. Okay?”

Closing my eyes, I attempt to draw in a deep breath but I just cough out air almost like a sad laugh. “I can’t.”

“Okay two seconds,” she bargains.

I make myself sit upright and press my hands on the edge of the bed. “Goddammit,” I mutter in frustration.

“Try again. Let it be all you think about.”

Hanging my head, I inhale deeply, channel my energy into a steady breath that expands my back.

“Let it out just as slow.”

I do. But there’s still this hard squeeze like someone’s pressing just beneath my ribcage.

"See that was four seconds,” she murmurs. “Show-off."

"Don't patronize me," I manage.

Erin laughs softly and continues the steady back and forth path of her hand on my back. "Fine then as far as breathing goes, I've seen better."

Finally I exhale in amusement and just shake my head. I work on another breath.

I keep on like that for a few more, determined to follow the pattern — in for four and out for four, the sounds of it loud between my ears. It’ll pass. I can’t fight it, I have to just know I’ll get to the other side. But fuck, I don’t even want to. This will be over and Noble will still be gone.

After a few steady moments, Erin squeezes my shoulder.  "This song," she muses, letting the slow-building track of All I Want Is You set a soothing rhythm to the air I take in. "Remember when Joe and I took you to that U2 concert? You were what, you’d just graduated high school?"

Another gradual breath while I think about that night out in the city. "Yeah," I answer. "Danny was on modified assignment working The Garden."

Erin chuckles. "I need to remind him of that cushy little gig next time he tries to say the bosses are too soft on you."

I sit there and let the music sink through me. This song is so goddamn sad it hurts. First Nicky’s absurd to love is to be vulnerable speech. And now the lull of Bono’s haunting voice musing that all the promises we break, from the cradle to the grave, when all I want is you — everything is a joke. 

I focus on the memory of that night, years ago with Erin and Joe. When simple shit like going to concerts and walking around New York, our ears ringing and our voices hoarse, was enough of a thrill and not a lot else mattered. “We had nosebleed seats,” I recall.  “And Danny managed to get us down front."

"That was a pretty awesome night."

I breathe again and the sick feeling starts to dissipate. "Between that, and this room, it's like… I'm remembering another life." 

She glances up and around, seeming to consider the memories held in time here. "It sort of was."

I swallow hard and close my eyes. "Somewhere I went wrong, Erin."

She just turns her gaze to me and offers a quiet "Shh" worried I'll get worked up again.

"How is this where I'm at?"

"Jamie, don't look for answers now."

"I have to look for answers or I'm gonna start missing him like hell."

"So let yourself miss him."

I take another slow, deep breath as the heat beneath my skin begins to taper off. At this point, it’s like missing Noble is all I have the energy for. It’s all I can do to tip back across the bed once more and close my eyes. 

My empty heart dwindles its beat down to something that almost feels normal, leaving the slightest flicker of clarity, reminding me that my only control is over what I do next.

[tiredfandomtrash]

Something a little bit different for today, since it’s the lover’s days and all, me and @paraisles I can’t at them tumblr please did a writing collab for a nice and sweet Valentine’s story  Haha posting my writing for the first time here, oof  Anyyways, without further ado, enjoy! (I wrote the beginning, Jackie and Marvin’s parts)  ---------- Valentine’s day. Such a special day for some. It’s all about the love, hugs, little kisses and sweet gifts.. Right? Well.. Not for everyone. Chase woke up, opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for good 10 minutes before even considering getting up. It’s not that he even knew what day it was. He lost track of time a long time ago. And maybe it would’ve been for the best if it stayed this way. But it seemed his friends had a different plan. After eventually dragging himself out of bed, the man did his morning routine, went downstairs and to his surprise, there was a knock on his front door. With slight confusion, since he doesn’t get visitors often, he opened the door. It was the postman. “Mr. Brody?” “Um.. Y-yeah.” “A letter for you. With a special message from the person. Since she gave it to me herself.” The man cleared his throat, then started reciting said message. “My love for you is bigger than the whole universe and you’re the best dad ever, mommy said we can see you on the weekend but we wanted to give you this card earlier so you can remember how much we love you.” Chase was listening in some sort of disbelief. But a soft smile curled up his lips. “Did she really tell you all of that?” “Word to word, sir. She really insisted that I tell you that. Sweet girl.” He handed Chase the letter. “Yeah. Yeah she is. Thank you.” He said with a nod. “Have a good day, sir!” “Yeah.. You too, man.” He turned around, closing the door with a small kick, since he was too focused on looking at the letter. He went to the living room, flopping down on the couch. After opening the letter his heart skipped a beat. He forgot it’s the day. The one that reminds him of good memories, that hurt more than anything right now. He bit his lip, staring at his daughter’s handwriting. They just wanted to make the day better for him. Inside was a nice, very glittery drawing of Chase, Lily and Tommy. His two little angels. He chuckled, smiling sadly at it. With a small sigh, he got up and hung it up on the fridge. Besides the drawing, a small sweet letter was inside. He read it and couldn’t help but tear up. He misses his kids so, so much. But knowing that they still love him so much makes it hurt a bit less. Since he wasn’t sure what to do, now that he knew what day it was, he sort of sat on the couch, thinking back to everything. When did he start crying? He’s not sure. Thankfully, another knock to the door helped him snap out of it. He quickly wiped his tears away then went to open the door. Who is it this time?? “Morning, Chaser!” A familiar voice greeted him, beaming with positivity as always. “Hey, Jackie..” The father responded, with obviously not as much enthusiasm. He let the hero inside, closing the door behind him. “You’re looking a lil gloom. Bad thoughts?” He questioned, worry growing inside of him. Chase waved his hand, shaking his head. “Don’t worry.” He murmured, looking up at him. “Whaddya want?” “Well, first of all, I always worry about you. And second, I just thought I’d drop by before going to work to check up on you and all that.” He shrugged a little, smiling. “And also might’ve brought you a gift-” “Jackie-” “I know, I know, you don’t like when we spend money on you. Listen, I don’t care and I'll say it as many times as I have to for you to understand.” He reached to his hood, and pulled a small teddy bear that was holding a heart out. He grinned and handed it to the other. “Happy Valentine’s day, bro.” “….You kept it in your hoodie-” He took the bear from him, squeezing it a little. “Listen I ain’t gonna carry a cute red bag with hearts or something around when I'm in my suit, that’d just. Look odd-” The hero explained, a little pink spreading on his cheeks. “So you kept it in your hoodie.” “Yes.” Chase let out a small laugh then hugged the other. “You’re such a dumbass sometimes, but I still love you.” He muttered against his chest. Jackie happily hugged back, ruffling the younger's hair. “Love ya too, Chaser.” They stayed like that for a moment. He knew that Chase needs the comfort. But he has to go whether he likes it or not. “Alright buddy, I'll catch ya later, alright?” He said, pulling away. He put his hands on the other's shoulders, squeezing them gently. “It’ll be alright, Chase. Don’t think of it too much.” “I'll try.. Thanks, Jackie. I owe you one.” “You don’t owe me anything, bro. Just try having a good day, kay? I love ya.” He gave his friend one more smile before exiting through the window. Extra as always. He shot his grapple hook up and was gone in a flash. Chase sighed, squishing the plushie tightly. As much as he appreciated that small gesture, his thoughts were eating him up too much. He set the bear aside, noting to take it back to his bedroom later, then decided that if he wants to clear his head, he’d have to go for a walk. But first, he opened the fridge. He didn’t feel hungry. Even thought he probably should eat something. With another louder sigh, Chase grabbed a bottle of beer, closed the door, then went to the cupboards. He took out a protein bar. “Better than nothing.” And so he left his apartment, trying his best to not think about all the things that this day always brings back. Some time later, he sat at a bench in a nearby park, using his remaining motivation to take a sip from his bottle of alcohol. This day wasn’t looking too well so far, and he wasn’t very excited about it since he was alone again. In a few minutes, a young fellow started to approach him, wanting to lift the depressed male’s spirits. “JJ? How are you here?” He spoke in a low, sluggish tone to the cheerful fellow. “Marvin told me that he sensed your sadness, and he sent me to go cheer you up. Now, I’m here! What’s wrong?” JJ signed, showing a smile in return. “I’m okay, bud. Don’t worry.” The male lied, trying to cover up the alcohol that was clearly being able to control his voice’s tone. “Don’t give me that excuse. I know something’s wrong!” JJ’s facial expression became worrisome, and he started to worry. Chase knew that he couldn’t get past the ol’ chap, no matter how hard he tried. He set down his bottle and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Alright, you caught me. Something is wrong. In fact, everything’s wrong. Stacy left me and took my kids. They don’t have a father to teach them what they need for survival in this world. I recently got evicted from my home, so now I had to get a new place to stay at. That’s what’s wrong.” Chase let out a heavy sigh once again, noticing tears stain his gray shirt, but he attempted to hide them under his hat. “Come with me, please.” JJ signed once more before he helped Chase up and walked with a hand on the capped male’s shoulder with a big ol’ smile. “Where are we going?” Chase questioned the ol’ chap, and JJ stopped walking. “Somewhere where you’ll be happy.” That was JJ’s final sign to his fellow friend before they continued walking on the bright street. After the long walk he and JJ took, the dapper man had to leave. As a goodbye, Chase gave him a long hug and some "Thank you's" then they were on their own way. The father stood there for a while. "Look at you two. So cute." A familiar, soothing voice called. Chase jumped where he stood, whipping around to look at the magician he knew far too well. His expression went from surprised, to angry, to just a little shocked. "You're going to give me a heart attack one day." Marvin chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Sorry, sorry. I know I shouldn't just teleport behind people randomly." Chase rolled his eyes and sighed. "Don't give me that look, hon, you know that I only ever want the best for you." "You're not wrong there. What is it this time, though?" He questioned, tilting his head. "Well." The magician put his hand on the other's shoulder. "It's my turn to put a smile on your face, hm?" Without further questioning, he hooked their arms together and started walking. "I'm taking you out to lunch, so there's something other than alcohol in your body." "you're acting like my mom, Marv-" "Well someone has to!" The magician objected, putting his other hand in his pocket. "And if it means I'm going to mother you, then so be it." He hummed, nudging Chase's side lightly. The other chuckled softly, looking up at him. "We're gonna have some nice hours, okay? No sad thoughts, no overthinking things. Just you, me and some nice food." "That does sound appealing.. I'll give it a shot, ha." Chase always knew that Marvin was really caring. Deep down, he was the softest and kindest soul out there. He just puts on a tough face, because he knows how unkind the world is. But in all honesty, he always felt like he and the magician had a special connection. He just seemed to always know what he needed most at a certain time. And he always appreciated it more than anything. After maybe 10 minutes of walking, they got to the place Marvin wanted to take him to. "Looks cozy." "Just like you like it. Simple but cozy." He led him to one of the tables. Seems like it was reserved for them. "So, sweetheart, got any upcoming plans?" He questioned, smiling at his friend warmly. "Oh.. Um.. N-not really? At least none that I can remember." He shrugged, responding with a smile as well. "I guess I'm just kind of.. Going with the wind, y'know? Whatever comes my way, I'll take it on." He rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. "But things aren't that bad. So.. I guess that's a nice change." Chase didn't go out all that much, so it felt a bit weird.. Being surrounded by other people. People that minded their business and didn't care about him. They didn't even see him, nor did he see them. All that really mattered right then and there was talking with Marvin. And.. It helped. It really did. He talked about surprisingly a lot. And the magician listened, gave him some advice and reassuring words. It was nice. He really did feel.. Happy. Yeah. Yeah, he felt happy. For the first time in a long time, he just let loose, forgetting about his worries. Cracking jokes every now and then, smiling, laughing. He even ate something. It was the nicest feeling of all. Carelessness, but the good type. You stop worrying just for a moment, not bothering to think of the things troubling you. Because you should live in the moment, right? And god, did he miss that. It felt like taking a breath for the first time in a long time. And that's something Chase needed. He's more than happy that he has the others in his life. He'd be so lost without them. And once they were done with their food, and talking for now, it was time to go. "You know, I really enjoyed all this." He said, smiling at the magician. “And.. Just, thanks, Marv. For helping." Before he could even say more the other crushed him in a hug. A nice, warm hug. He wrapped his arms around Marvin and hid his face in his shoulder. "Thanks for all this. Really.." "You know that it's no problem for me, sweetheart." He responded, rocking them to the sides lightly. "I love you, Chase. Don't forget about that, okay?" "How could I? You remind me about that at least twice a day." He joked, looking up at him. Marvin chuckled, kissed his forehead, then smiled. And Chase smiled back. "I love ya too. I really do." "I'll see you later, hm? Just like every other week?" "I don't have lots of plans so you know it." One more squeeze and they pulled away. "Cya around, Marv." "Have a lovely rest of the day. You deserve it." "You too, buddy. You too." And so, they both went their own way. And once Chase was back home, he didn't get lost in thought as usual. Actually, he was just thinking to all the things that happened today and how much they lifted his spirit. How nice it was to feel alive again. Henrik knew very well what this day was. It was Valentine’s Day, and he was battling some things of his own, but he shoved them all aside just for this day. A certain someone needed a check-up. “Time to visit one of my recent patients...to check on how he’s doing.” Henrik seemed a little sluggish, but that was a normal trait for him. After all, he was the best doctor in all of town. “Geez…” A thick German accent came out of his mouth, yet he walked casually down Chase’s street and quietly knocked on the door. Henrik didn’t want to disrupt his patient, so he would always be patient and knock quietly. “Henrik, what brings you here? Sure, I visit you weekly, but that doesn’t really require you to visit my house, ya know.” The capped male smiled sadly with a pity laugh. Henrik didn’t say much, but he returned the smile out of pity and entered the home. “I have come in favor of myself to ask you one thing. How are you doing? I know things have been hard with your wife and kids, but I promise that things will be better. We’re here for you. I’ve been informed that JJ, Jackie, and Marvin all cheered you up a good bit.” Henrik chuckled while sitting on the sofa with his patient beside him. “I’ve been doing fine, Henrik. they helped me with the pain a lot, actually. Their time with me helped me forget it for a while. I’m glad you visited, actually. I know that Jack’s anniversary for the channel is coming up, so if possible, could you extend the waiting hours for longer? I was wanting to visit him by myself.” Chase asked, hoping and praying that Henrik would approve of the request. “I’ll see what I can do, Chase. I promise that you’ll be able to visit him.” Henrik smiled and was given a genuine hug by Chase and returned it before he left. Chase let out a heavy sigh as he entered his littered car with one thought in mind. He only wanted to visit an old friend of his. He was able to get Henrik to extend the visiting hours for everyone, so he was able to stay longer than usual. Once he entered the hospital, he tried his best to keep his heart rate down while he asked for Jack’s real name, and arrived at the room. “Hey, buddy.” He spoke in a quiet tone with a sad smile, but all Chase wanted was for Jack to wake up. He just wanted him back, but he knew that would be a rarity of events. “Listen, if you hear me right now, just know that we’re here for you. We’ll be here for you when you wake up.” Next thing Chase knew, his hand inched over to grab Jack’s. “You know, I remember the first Valentines after Stace left. And how you spent the whole day with me and wouldn't let me even think about her for a second. I miss you buddy. I really do.. But I would lie if I said that things aren't a bit better now." Chase smiled with a sad look on his face. He missed his best friend. If anything, the others missed their best friend as well. “I’ll be back to visit you later, alright? Please...don’t forget about us and everything you’ve created. We love you and always will.” Chase placed a kiss on the limp hand before quietly leaving his seat and the dark room. He only wanted Jack to get better.