#the way she haunts the narrative fascinates me

[qwuilty]

Do you ever think about Scott's feelings of being worthless and afraid without Carlie still lingering so many years after her death and how she has become this symbol and idea to the people she loved who did what they believed and claim she wanted

I do

[cloudbends]

new pokemon episode!!!

[anotherlongstoryshort]

Things about the Wisdom Saga that have plagued me all damn day

Legendary

Whether intentional or not, Miguel's Telemachus really sounds like a younger version of Jorge's Odysseus. And that hurts.

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" The layers. Could he go out and hunt for his father? Could he find his 'legendary' strength within himself? Or will Odysseus be the 'monster' he finds?

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength" And his call is answered T_T

20 years.

Antinous fully interrupts this bop. Rude.

Ayron sounds legitimately scary and Telemachus taking a stand is so O.O

Little Wolf

I wanna fight this guy. Love that Athena agrees. (The beat of the song and sharp bursts of vocals really emulate blows.)

The quaver on "I don't know how".

Athena is immediately charmed by Telemachus' enthusiasm. She sounds so fond.

The fact she sees heart in him as an advantage when it was Odysseus choosing heart over mind that drove them apart. Guh.

Did she tell him to bite Antinous? XD

"Oh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard." The change in her perspective is already so apparent - she wouldn't have admitted a mistake or miscalculation to Odysseus.

We'll Be Fine

"I had a friend before..." A FRIEND? FRIEND?!?!

An admission that she didn't fully appreciate what Odysseus was going through, that she feels guilty for having "missed it all".

It's unclear to begin with if she's come to Telemachus for Odysseus, or to try and replace him. Both are equally heart-breaking.

"I don't know who your friend is, I don't know what he's like" UNKNOWINGLY ECHOING HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN 'LEGENDARY'. NO IT'S FINE I'M FINE.

"The best day of my life because I got in a fight and I didn't die! :D" Telemachus, child, please.

"We'll be fine" using the same run as "this is my goodbye" T_T

Him immediately offering up friendship to Athena, like Odysseus once did, must hit her so hard. "You're a good kid." Yes he is - because he's more like his dad than he knows.

Love in Paradise

"Old friend..." FRRRRRIIIIEEEENNNNNDDDDD!!!!!

10 years.

The memory fragments sounding so fraught and chaotic together, hitting harder because they're hitting Athena all at once. She missed a lot.

"She's my wife." "Anyways..." Calypso, girl, please.

Love that they're singing completely different melodies through the first half of this song for two reasons: because Odysseus is revisiting previous motifs, once more trying to hold onto the man he was, and also because it shows Calypso is not willing to compromise on what she wants.

"Last I checked goddesses can't die." We'll come back to this later.

Then Odysseus realises he is truly trapped and he sings along to Calypso's melody in muted horror.

POLITIES OUT HERE STILL HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.

Just the words "open arms" are enough to confront Odysseus (again) with all he's lost. All he hears are screams.

And the one he screams out for is Athena.

"He needs my help." NO KIDDING GO GET YOUR BOY.

God Games

"Father, God, King..." There's a lot to unpack in that fun family dynamic.

"To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?" Zeus is like, nobody likes that guy, why do you care?

The gods being called out like X Factor finalists is everything.

So there's a great contrast against the previous song - unlike Calypso, Athena is matching each of her singing partners with their tone and beat as she convinces them. She isn't winning by 'imposing her will', she's meeting them where they are.

Rational arguments work until Aphrodite, where Athena says "please" for the first time. She softens to appeal to Aphrodite, which is why Ares has to step in.

The way she says his name XD

Ares' lines sound like as much of a fighting chant as 'Little Wolf' did, which makes it all the better that the mention of Telemachus is what gets her to 'fight back'.

"His son's my friend!" YES HE IS. And Athena of all people declaring "a broken heart can mend" is fascinating. Can't help but wonder if she's talking about herself coming around to forgiving Odysseus.

"Never once has he cheated on his wife." Handwaving the source material is worth it for this line ALONE.

Zeus is so pressed by everyone openly knowing he cheats on Hera. Stop doing it then my dude.

Ares sounding genuinely concerned for Athena is doing things to me. Goddesses can't die, huh?

Her time motif flitting in and out like a weak heartbeat.

The soft piano of 'Warrior of the Mind', touching on a whisper of 'Legendary', then rising to a triumphant crescendo as Athena regains herself. I will be forever haunted by visions of Odysseus and Telemachus helping her to her feet.

And then, finally, she faces her own father and begs. Because Odysseus and Telemachus deserve a chance to be father and child.

The parallel, by the way, of Athena entering this saga to help an outnumbered Telemachus, and now closing it with him/Odysseus unknowingly helping her win her own battle too. JORGE HOW DARE YOU T_T

[2hoothoots]

saw this post in the tag earlier talking about how we never really get a detailed look inside Maligula’s mind, and it got me thinking about the themes of the game again so I’m gonna use it as a jumping-off point. because i agree, it’s very significant that we never get to really see Maligula/Lucrecia as she used to be! but i think that fact actually makes the game much stronger, especially on a thematic level.

Lucrecia’s presence haunts the narrative throughout Psychonauts 2. at first, we can only make her out through her absence. she’s the seventh stump around the campfire, the missing center of a torn photo. we see glimpses of her in the ruined fragments of Ford’s mind. in Helmut’s mind, she’s a looming specter, a shadow of the friend he once knew. in Gristol’s mind, she’s a celebrated war hero. and as the game goes on, we learn that everything in Psychonauts 1 – the Aquatos leaving Grulovia, the family ‘curse’, Raz running away to camp – all of that was set in motion because of her. she’s at the very center of the tragedy that PN2 revolves around.

and she does haunt the narrative, even if Nona is still alive. because the old Lucrecia – the real Lucrecia – we never get to meet her. she’s long gone.

the closest we come to actually interacting with Lucrecia, as she used to be, is in Cassie’s mind. while the rest of the Psychic 7 only have a few lines to share, paper Lucrecia has a full dialogue tree. this is probably one of my favourite moments in the whole game. there’s an awe in Raz’s face, getting to meet her, but also this palpable tension throughout the conversation.

(screenshots taken from here! if you don’t remember this conversation, or just want a refresher, i’d highly recommend going back to watch it.)

this dialogue tree is great. it’s funny, and subtle, and surprisingly moving. Raz is full of questions for Lucrecia, and Lucrecia isn’t giving much away, but we get glimpses of her story here that are so tantalising. it’s a fascinating window into the person she used to be: coy, and playful, and a little aloof.

but – this is also very clearly not Lucy. we hear Cassie’s own thoughts coming out of her mouth (“Cassie told us [hydraulic mining] was very bad for the environment, but nobody listened to her, as usual”), but her dialogue is also steeped in Cassie’s confusion, her struggle to understand what happened (“I don’t really know [why I murdered all those people]. I was the nicest person during my time at Green Needle Gulch”). this is the closest we ever get to seeing Lucrecia, face-to-face, but she’s still heavily filtered through someone else’s perception.

how much of this is the real Lucrecia, and how much of it is just how Cassie sees her? we’ll never know.

i think a crucial part of PN2’s themes is that perception – how you can be someone completely different to different people around you. everyone has their own version of the story to tell. the most obviously propagandistic is Gristol’s retelling, which comes as a shock twist at a climactic moment that throws the whole game on its head. here, we get to see the other side of the story, from someone who only ever knew Lucrecia as a protector, a general, a murderer – and thought she should stay that way.

(screenshots from here)

but as entrenched as he is in his narrative, Gristol doesn’t have all the answers, either. and Ford’s version of events, while probably more factually correct, is still steeped in his own biases. Ford was so dedicated to the memory of the woman he loved that he did terrible things for her; and when he tried to bury that memory, it was so deeply entrenched in his mind that it broke him.

(screenshot from here)

but note the wording, when he talks about using the Astralathe to “neutralise” the “problematic” parts of her mind. My Lucy.

something else that PN2 touches on is how experiences change you. after the battle against Maligula, the remaining members of the Psychic 7 become very different individuals. Cassie withdraws from the world, unable to return to normality after everything that happened; Compton becomes an anxious wreck without his support network. Bob is broken with grief after the loss of his husband, and Ford willingly shattered his mind because it was what he thought he had to do to keep Lucrecia safe. and throughout the game, Raz helps all of them – but he doesn’t fix them. he doesn’t undo everything they went through, because how could he? the things that happened will stay with each of them forever.

and it’s the same with Lucrecia. even after she lets go of the rage and grief and violence that Maligula carried with her, symbolically severing the threads that bind her to her past – she doesn’t just go back to her old self. because she’s someone different now, too. she’s a mother, and a grandmother, and she loves her family so truly and so deeply. she’s patched together a new life for herself. and that’s what she affirms to Raz, in the moments before the final fight.

and he loves her right back. even after everything he’s learned, she’s still his Nona.

i think sometimes a story is more satisfying for not giving you the easy answers. Psychonauts 2 leaves a lot of things unsaid. it gives you pieces of the puzzle, glimpses of Lucrecia’s story through other people’s eyes, and asks you to draw your own conclusions from that. and then it says: this is who she is now. this is what matters. and personally, i think it’s stronger for that.

[anistarrose]

This isn't something I would describe as a prominent or even intentional theme, but there's something fascinating to me about how TAZ Balance characters associated with composing and performing music are almost entirely correlated with either being forgotten, or having an incredibly warranted fear of being forgotten.

Johann is obviously the latter. I have an ongoing fic about his parallels with Barry — who plays piano, and who is the character we see spend the most time knowing he has been forgotten by people dear to him, and grappling with it. And I've seen the Johann and Lup dynamic get well-deserved attention in AUs where she lives, and they get to relate to each other as violinists — yet the parallels are at their strongest in canon, where Lup is the "most" dead of all the undead characters, the "most" forgotten, the most reduced to a near-invisible specter haunting the narrative, and the most like Johann's worst nightmare.

There's even a parallel with Davenport, who is a beautiful singer, and whose life story and dreams and achievements are all completely erased. So that's three different characters whose forgotten stories — which Johann obviously does not know — still serve to silently justify Johann's fear of the same fate, emphasizing just how likely it is that it could come to pass. How yes, it would be that horrifying.

And as a non-musician, but an artist of a kind myself... it all resonates. The fear of one's legacy being forgotten is a common fear in general, but it has a particular type of teeth to it for us creatives, who shudder in terror at the thought of a masterwork — that feels like a piece of one's soul — being forgotten, let alone cut short by untimely tragedy.

But that's why I treasure, so dearly, that all of these musically inclined characters — Barry, Lup, Davenport, Johann — are not forgotten permanently, but instead immortalized by the Story and Song, no matter the varying degrees of alive and dead that they wind up in the end. I treasure the parallels between these characters that say being forgotten is a grounded, reasonable thing to fear; that it is scary — but that no matter what, memory will still find a way.

[my-fancy-hat]

This is me rambling about some thoughts I have about Makima and why part of the reason I like her character so much, now that I realized I tend to draw her like this. An ominous entity rather than a person, a shadow, silloute or a faceless woman, like a faded memory, she can be anything everywhere, always present. A face provides of identity and individuality but she's above it all, just as how she still haunts the narrative years after her death. Sometimes I think about her body as a vessel that it wasn't mean to broke, because now the control she contained is everywhere, the entire system, that so obscenely inflict on p2 characters (take for example Miri with the church or Yoshida with PS, or Yuko with her bullies). That's why Asa is such a fascinating character to me as well, she embodies her motives, birds and cats so well. Every decision she has made is by her own volition, all his falls and pain, she's the owner of it all. Famine and PS couldn't subjugate her because she's the owner of her own life, in a way, she's the antithesis of Makima, the antidote to p2 conflicts. Anyways, I ended up talking about Asa too lol. Seems like I like to play with these concept on my art, they're so cool.

[stoneantler]

Fascinated by the way Marty's father's death haunts the narrative by being barely present. He brings up his father's death only in episode 4, when he's trying to give Maggie a good excuse for his bad behavior and she (rightfully) snaps back at him that his father died a year ago.

Now the way time moves in True Detective is slippery at the best of times so we don't know exactly how long Rust and Marty have been partners for in episode 4, but it's possible that when they partnered up the death of his father was still very fresh for Marty. And I think it's clear from the way Marty talks about his dad, in the past and the present, that Marty never unpacked the larger than life figure his father made in his life. He even says to Gilbough and Papania that he thinks his dad could take him even at the end. So I think it's safe to say that he probably did have some really big and complicated feelings about his dad's death that he wasn't handling well at the time.

And it's so interesting to me that maybe Marty's being honest in the confrontation with Maggie in episode 4. Maybe he does trace his ongoing breakdown to his father's death over a year ago. If we follow this line of thought then we also have to compare him to Rust and the way Rust handles his own grief. For all that Rust projects an inscrutable air, he's actually surprisingly open about his grief and pain. He tells Marty and Maggie very earlier on in their respective relationships about the death of his daughter. And whether he likes it or not, so many of his actions are shaped by the death of his daughter in ways that are very easy to see. We all know that when he carries the dead child out of Ledoux's complex, he's doing it because he knows what it's like to lose a child and he wants to spare Marty from knowing what it feels like to carry a dead child. But at no point do we see Marty make the same vulnerable confession about the effect his father's death had on him. At no point is there an easy way to tie the death of his father to his current actions, and yet maybe somewhere under all that repression, his father is actually still influencing him.

If this is true, then there is a genealogy of abusive fathers looming over this story, touching all parts of it, pulling strings even beyond the grave. Rust's father, Marty, Marty's father, Childress's father, the Tuttles and their father. The lineage of abusive fathers continues backwards throughout time.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

[medusas-daughter]

Can Nicky actually forgive Agatha in the afterlife ?

Billy is a bit of a proxy for him in the last scene and his answer is yes. But also Billy doesn't seem to want to forgive Wanda at the moment so if we are following the parallels between the two boys, the answer for Nicky is probably a little bit more nuanced.

Sidenote: the parallels in this show are so fun ! Because you can absolutely parallel Wanda and Agatha and Billy and Nicky but also Billy and Agatha are similar as well and both Wanda and Nicky are the ghosts over their shoulders.

This show is just so good.

ooh thank you anon that is a fascinating question!

Wanda and Nicky are definitely both ghosts haunting the entire narrative of Agatha All Along, and Billy and Agatha parallel each other in that both are trying very hard to ignore/avoid their ghosts.

I want to say that Nicky doesn't have anything to forgive Agatha for but that would be too optimistic of me. I think a six year old Nicky doesn't resent Agatha, he loved her very much, and she loved him very much, and then he got too sick and tired of fighting for his life, and then he joined his other mother peacefully, end of story. Agatha didn't wrong him in any way, she tried her best to keep him alive but it was not in her hands. But a Nicky who has been on the other side for centuries, who has watched Agatha use his song, their song, their wholesome little game, to continue killing witches for her own gain, the one thing he didn't want to do anymore on his very last day with her? Who has watched Agatha avoid Rio at all cost? Who is watching Agatha avoid him at all costs? I think there might need to be more nuance there. But I still don't believe he needs to "forgive" her necessarily. I think he would just need to adjust to a full vision of his mother, the way all children must at some point in their lives adjust and acknowledge that their parents are flawed human beings and not these heroes we want them to be. But Agatha needs to forgive herself first, for being human and not being able to keep adeath away from her child forever. Only when she forgives herself can she face him again, and only then will she know just what kind of relationship she can have with Nicky and how he truly feels about her.

Billy was picking up on Agatha's guilt and went out on a limb when he said Nicky would forgive her. But I also think he's projecting his own resentment of Wanda. He's hearing about all these different versions of her, the Avenger who helped save the world, the wicked witch who ruined the lives of an entire town, the broken woman who created a family out of grief and then chose to sacrifice said family for the sake of the people she hurt, and he doesn't see where he fits in all these versions, he doesn't see what he thinks a mother should be, this perfect human with infinite love and wisdom, and he resents her even if he doesn't consciously realize that resentment yet. And his relationship with Agatha here is so important. That line "neither are you" that he tells Agatha has so many layers. It's him accepting that he's not bad himself, that mistakes don't define him as a person. It's also him accepting deep down that Wanda isn't bad she's just human. And maybe that puts him on the path of eventually forgiving her as well just how he believes Nicky would forgive Agatha.

This answer turned out more confusing than anything and that's because I don't have a definitive answer I'm treatign it more as an interesting thought experiment than anything else. Agatha and Nicky and Wanda and Billy are like this messy complicated rectangle of grief and love and they're each haunting each other and projecting shit on each other and leaning on each other in the most beautiful if sometimes unexpected ways and I hope we get to see more of them in the future 💜

[lavellenchanted]

having watched the final episode and thinking about the season as a whole, overall I still have very mixed feelings - it's still very enjoyable to watch, the animation is beautifully done and the acting is fantastic, but I think this season is definitely weaker than the previous two and I have a lot more criticisms than I had of them

I think that's for a mix of reasons: there's the inevitable issues with compressing an improvised campaign of hundreds of hours into seasons of 12 half-hour episodes, and I think this season shows that the chroma conclave arc could easily have stretched to another season (though I can understand why they wouldn't want to push that when they didn't know if they were getting a season four), but while I never expected the show to be a 1:1 of the campaign and certain changes were always going to be necessary, I do think some of the more significant departures they've made this season don't actually help the greater narrative and in some cases have actually been harmful to characterisation and the emotional beats of the story

I also think we're seeing the butterfly effect of choosing to start s1 with vox machina building their reputation in emon and then skipping ahead in the narrative rather than introducing them as an already established and competent group - they're just not in the same place they were for these story beats in the campaign, and that has an overall impact

as said I still enjoy watching the show, it is overall a positive experience and it's nice to spend any time back with these characters I love, and I hope s4 will be tighter because it's not as sprawling as the chroma arc, but we'll see

more specific thoughts under the cut - spoilers ahead, ye be warned:

starting with positives:

loved seeing keyleth's earth trial, I think the way they've folded her class features into the story and her arc is great

raishan managing to achieve her goal with thordak's body was fascinating, I really enjoyed getting the sense of what a genuine threat she really was

same with thordak, you could really feel his menace and what a genuinely terrifying enemy he was

the songs were great this season and kaylie's song was beautiful

I actually really liked the change of scanlan being in a coma rather than dead and how kaylie brought him round, as well as her encouraging him to go and join the fight against raishan

lots of nice little references - grog "blacking out" to be smart because travis just couldn't hold back that one time, anna's men playing uko'toa, keyfish reference, "do you spice?"

laura broke my heart with vex's confession during percy's resurrection

and while I wasn't a fan of different order things happened in, every perc'ahlia scene was still a delight to watch

seeing inside orthax's realm was very cool

dis was rightfully horrifying and will haunt my nightmares

I did also love them folding in some of the wider exu lore through zerxus

the fight choreography was always fantastic

as was the cinematography

and now on to negatives

my biggest disappointment this season is the complete failure to really showcase any of the group dynamics outside the romantic pairings (and occasionally the twins and pike & grog, and even they suffer), to the point that vex seemed to be the only character grieving for percy or even wanting to avenge him, when ripley's death was one of the rawest, most emotional moments on stream because it was the entire team coming together. would anyone watching the show only even know that keyleth was percy's best friend? or that one of her biggest struggles with her aramente was knowing she was going to outlive them all, not just vax?

don't get me wrong, the boat fight in ep11 was very well done and enjoyable and I loved getting some 1 on 1 moments with the twins, and vex using percy's arrow was still an emotional moment but taken in context overall it felt very anti-climatic - especially when the only comment anyone had about it was keyleth saying "I saw".

just at this point I don't know that I really buy that the show versions of vox machina really do consider themselves to be family, so the "break up" at the end wasn't as impactful as it could have been, nor was keyleth's anger at the group when raishan took thordak's body

and honestly I think you could keep most of the changes and still show those dynamics with just a few tweaks like,

have percy be the one keyleth really butts heads with over raishan - his cold practical logic vs her morals and emotions, remind us of their friendship (which was shown so well in s1) and have her regretting their fighting when he dies

keep grog and keyleth's conversation about anger; it's a beautiful character moment for both of them, and grog's assurance that they will stand with keyleth against raishan if need be would make her anger at the team and running away from them instead of relying on them echo better later

especially if that's following up with keyleth holding herself back because of her fears of outliving everyone and letting herself rely on all her friends, especially when her best friend just died, instead of making it all about committing to vax (even though he was the one with the aging fears this time)

let pike and vax talk about religion - vax suddenly finding himself the champion of a god when he's never been religious turning to the group's cleric, who can be honest with her own struggles. let pike threaten the raven queen! let it be clear why vax tells her at the end, "you showed me the way"

have scanlan talk to vex and vax about kaylie, because they grew up with a shitty father and can offer some perspective on how kaylie might be feeling (and depending on the conversation that could either play into the bard's lament or help play into the softer ending they went with)

if they were really set on not having the "how do you, vox machina, want to do this?" moment then at least let the others express gladness that ripley's dead and disappointment that they couldn't be there for it

if they're also set on having percy stay dead (which I hated purely because it means he was left out of the two major endgame fights) have pike try to resurrect percy and fail because she can't find his soul, let her feel like she failed him and have that play into her questioning storyline

although I have to say on that note I am also overall disappointed in how they've handled pike this season - which obviously to some extent is because she was in and out of the campaign so much, but even so it really didn't feel like she had a complete arc this season and I'm hoping they do properly follow up next season

because it is very unclear how she actually feels faith-wise at the moment. I'm interested to see where they take this bloodline personally I'm not a fan of giving her another crisis of faith storyline when she had that in s1 - I would have preferred to see her faith in herself growing as a reflection of the strength of her faith in her everlight, understanding that the everlight chose her because of who she is - and as it is I'm not sure if she's doubting the everlight, or just doubting whether a life of faith is for her, or if that's going to have any knock on impact on her magic

and part of that is because apart from one or two very cool set battles like using the plate of the dawn martyr against thordak . . . pike's powers have very much been nerfed. to the point that she can't even handle percy's resurrection on her own. even though in stream she's performed multiple resurrections and got a goddess to punch a fucking dragon for the team (no I'm still not over that being cut, I never will be)

she's not the only one. I feel like vex's powers have been downplayed a lot (like has she cast a single spell ever?), and so have scanlan's.

other things that I wasn't thrilled with:

really don't like where they seem to be going with vax saving percy being the reason he ends up a revenant, not least since it implies that percy's soul being taken by orthax was his pre-ordained "fate" not actually a complete perversion of the natural order

also very sad we lost all the aftermath of percy's resurrection, especially percy and vex's forest walk and long talk about forgiveness and that he heard her, and percy and cass's reunion

grog seemed to just be there for comic relief and to punch things this season, I'd really like to see him given more moments to show his deeper characters

sad we didn't get j'mon sa ord joining the fight against thordak

I do feel like gilmore's relationship with the whole team but especially vax is shortchanged a lot in the series, and I'd love them to give us a bit more of his character the way they did kima and allura

very 'mmmm' on them including vex's line about not getting married which is contextually very different than it was on the stream - mostly I'm worried that between that and her then eloping with percy, plus vax's doom being because he saved percy for vex, that there's going to be a lot of fandom blowback on vex (it was bad enough just on stream when vax hadn't yet died)

still absolutely furious that they killed kash

name checking cabal's ruin but not getting it? like, what was the point

things I'd like to see in s4:

taryon darrington. they cannot rob me of him.

kynan appearing as a whitestone guard or cass's personal guard (if jarret can be a guard in emon then why not)

more spotlight on the platonic dynamics beween the group

following up on percy looking at the dragon scales by having him make vex's armour

some unambiguously positive depictions of the gods, especially the everlight

kash being resurrected. or just like ... turning up somewhere like, "yeah I got better, it's cool".

[hannahp0calypse]

Falin?

something i really like about falin is her existence for the majority of the story being entirely via what other people tell us about her. i'm pretty sure that's classic well-written "haunting the narrative" type stuff, but it still really appeals to me. it's fascinating seeing the various facets of a character represented almost entirely by how other people remember them - with the character themselves having little to no input on the way they're remembered and talked about.

an obvious point of comparison, to me, is rose quartz stevenuniverse - a character whose death and absence defines the narrative, presented as almost ridiculously perfect initially, and is slowly revealed over time to not be the simple, perfect "loving damsel" deal. obvs falin's deal isn't about slowly being revealed to be a very harmful person and the cause of almost all of the pain in the setting, but you see the comparison.

one part of falin's flavour of "haunting" that stands out to me is the way that the two characters who know her best - laios and marcille - both knew completely different parts of her life. this is part of why i bring up rose quartz - in SU, we learn about her the same way steven does. everyone else has mostly complete information about her, though obvs not 100%, and it's almost entirely about steven's discoveries. meanwhile, laios and marcille both have very incomplete pictures of falin because they both knew her at completely different stages of her life. they learn more about one of the most important people in their lives from each other, and grow closer to each other (and her!) as a result. it's really cool.

there's another element to it, but it touches a bit on endgame dungeon meshi spoilers, so

particularly interesting to me is how falin has an entire character arc while spending the majority of the story being dead (literally or spiritually). and that arc ties into the entire idea of her being this dead character, absent from the narrative and from her own agency.

falin's arc is about learning to take up space, to want and to need, to be open about her desires. it's kind of similar to how the inciting incident of the story allows laios to be open about his desires and interests in a way he hasn't been before, but stretched over the story's timeframe. part of why the characters learn about falin from each other is because she lived her life closing herself off from people to make herself more palatable. it's why the inciting incident is her own self-sacrifice for the people she loves!

but so much of dungeon meshi is about learning to open up to others, to share parts of yourself, and to share in parts of others. it's about eating, and choosing to eat, and how eating is living, and choosing to eat is choosing to live, and choosing to be eaten is choosing to die so something else can live.

it's why at the end of it all, falin revives because she chooses to eat, and chooses to live. chooses to take up space, and to make herself a presence in the world. just think about how she dresses and carries herself at the start of the story, vs how she does so at the end/in post-story materials.

i like falin :>

[sailforvalinor]

As I've finally finished Ten's run...my thoughts on all of Ten's companions (in an order that makes sense to no one but me)

Martha:

I have...complicated feelings about Martha. I'm going to be honest, for her first few episodes, I did not like her all that much. Of course, the thing is, you're almost not supposed to like her at first. One of my favorite things about series 3 and 4 is that Rose very much haunts the narrative--you can feel her presence in Ten's thoughts, how her absence informs his decisions, almost as if she never left. Martha's role, at least in those first few episodes, is to make us miss Rose. She's a plot device. I don't think this is the case for the rest of the season, she has a lot of compelling things going for her character--her complicated relationship with her family and her desire to travel with Ten partially being due to her wanting to escape their chaos were really interesting. Also, her studying to be a doctor while traveling with the Doctor could have been a fascinating plot point if it had been utilized more often--but unfortunately, I think everything her character had going for it was too often muddied up by the "one-sided pining for Ten" plotline. I'm by no means opposed to the plotline in and of itself, I actually quite like it, but halfway through the season it started to get annoying to me. Like, I get it, him kissing her in episode 1 and then asking her to travel with him is really confusing, that's totally understandable, but after that long of traveling with the guy and him making it extremely clear that he doesn't like her like that...like, girl. Give it a rest.

(Not that Ten is entirely blameless in this situation--this man has never heard of a healthy coping mechanism. He just wanted Martha to travel with him because he was lonely, nothing else, but didn't make that clear at all. His refusal to even acknowledge her feelings, which he was perfectly aware of, and have a healthy conversation about it wasn't helping matters.)

I loved how they handled her exit in Series 3, however--I loved how Martha acknowledged that their relationship wasn't healthy for either of them, and that she needed to get out. (Ten staring as his shoes in that scene...gosh...)

And, with the one-sided pining plotline out of the way, I loved her appearances in Series 4! I loved how she actually got to be a doctor and do cool stuff! Also, I know her ending up with Mickey in the end is a very blatant Pair the Spares move, but have you considered: I do not care. I love them. They are so cute. (Didn't Martha have a fiancé in Series 4 though? What happened to him? Did he die or something and I missed it?)

Also, Martha is the most obvious example of what the Dalek's argue in the Series 4 finale--that the Doctor cannot help but make his companions into soldiers.

Donna:

Donna!!! I'll admit, I was pretty neutral about her in her first appearance--but I was so excited to have her back in Series 4. It was a breath of fresh air to have a companion who was very clearly a friend rather than another love interest, and her dynamic with Ten was so different than with any other companion. Their banter was so entertaining, and her lack of tact, though it got her into trouble sometimes, enabled her to say important things to Ten that Rose avoided saying for fear of jeopardizing their relationship, and Martha would have regulated to passive-aggressive muttering under her breath. (Thinking of "you talk all the time, but you never say anything" -esque conversations.) She cuts through Ten's bluster with relative ease, and it's fascinating to watch.

I also love that her traveling with the Doctor helps her grow as a person, flying in the face of Ten's belief that he destroys everything he touches--until the memory wipe, of course. Still, the Doctor Donna is still in there. (Also, was I supposed to think that the woman in white in The End of Time was Donna? That's what I assumed, but I'm not sure if I'm right.)

Rose:

Believe it or not, when I was thirteen years old and tried to watch Doctor Who for the first time, I did not like Rose Tyler. I thought that Rose was annoying, and that Nine was too angry and scary. (Thirteen year old me only got as far as The Doctor Dances, forgive her.)

I liked her much better the second go-round--I think the moment I was really sold on her character was her whole Bad Wolf moment, which makes sense. Her character growth throughout the series is by far my favorite, though I'm not sure I could tell you why. I'm going to try, though!

I think one thing that's pretty easy to forget about Rose is that she begins as quite a similar character to Donna, in that she doesn't have all that much going for her in her day-to-day life--she didn't do all that well in school, didn't go to university, is working at a department store (a job which she loses in the first episode), is living with her caring but rather foolish mother, and is dating a well-intentioned but pretty immature guy. It's a little startling at first glance how quickly she's totally on-board with traveling with the Doctor and being in so much danger all the time (even before she's in love with him), but it makes sense when you consider how little there is left for her at home. There's her mother, there's Mickey. That's it. And once she's seen the beauty of the universe, despite how dangerous it is, she just can't go back.

Just how sold-out she is for Ten (and vice-versa) is one of my favorite things, but also, one of her greatest strengths is her empathy. She's not brilliant like Martha, or a soldier like Jack, or a Time Lord-to be like Donna. What she has is a compassion that allows her to connect with all kinds of people--with a dying Dalek, with a terror-inducing little boy who is really just looking for his mother, with a housewife who is terrified of her abusive husband, even with a time-traveling man responsible for a war-ending genocide of millions.

I'm not going to go too much into Tenrose here (because I talk about it enough on this blog), but I find it so interesting that Rose represents healing to both Nine and Ten. Ten makes it very clear in the Series 4 finale that Rose saved him from himself--and not even intentionally, just by being who she is. Her influence on him is just that strong. (Please excuse me while I weep.)

As I mentioned earlier, I love how in Series 3 and 4, Rose is not physically present, but you can feel her haunting the narrative. You can almost tell when Ten is thinking of her, when her absence or influence on him causes him to make certain decisions, even though he talks about her pretty rarely. And how rarely he talks about her makes her into a sort of mythic figure for both Martha and Donna, making her return all the more incredible.

I also love that it is Donna who keeps seeing Rose everywhere and is so involved with her return. I sort of see Donna as someone Rose could have very easily become if she had never met the Doctor. They both also understand him in a similar way, though their relationships with him are fundamentally different. If the universe had allowed it, they would have been best friends.

Also, while it's sad for Ten, I loved the Tentoorose ending. I honestly couldn't see ending it any other way and keeping the integrity of Doctor Who's themes.

Finally, it has to be said—Ten and Rose are just so much fun to watch. They’re so happy together. They grin at each other like idiots. Ten does not smile like that with that amount of frequency for anyone else in the series, and I’m so unhinged about it.

A few random thoughts on some other assorted companions:

Mickey: Mickey my beloved!!! One of the things I love about the writing of these four seasons is that they are very aware of their own writing--they know that they're making Mickey into the third wheel, but they're also very aware of that fact. Seeing an arc like this handled with such self-awareness was so cool to see. I liked how Rose didn't immediately leave Mickey for the Doctor, she tried to make their relationship work, but they both eventually came to see that their relationship was immature. I also loved how he had his own arcs independent of Rose, and his character growth in those arcs were just incredible. I also think he has some of the most underrated performances in the show--the scene in Pete's World where he finds his grandmother makes me want to weep. And, of course, I love him and Martha together.

Astrid: Liked her quite a lot, I just don't get why we need to be throwing love interests at Ten all the time. Give him a break.

Jackson and Rosita: I mean, I get it, but also...huh??

Christina: Why. Why. Why.

Wilfred: 10/10. No notes.

[dalesramblingsblog]

In honour of an episode that seems consciously about the construction of narratives around fundamentally meaningless aspects of the universe, a Twitter conversation with one of my last remaining mutuals to survive the Muskening, lightly repurposed to serve as a singular, narrativised Tumblr post in a way it was never designed for.

Who says art is dead?

73 Yards was strange and haunting and not entirely comprehensible in a way that Doctor Who seldom manages.

I suspect it's one where personal tolerance for that sort of thing will make or break the episode, but I certainly think that, knowing this was Gibson's first filmed episode, she did a phenomenal job.

It was also, for me at least, a more generally successful invocation of the kind of eldritch horror implied by the Toymaker or the Maestro, largely by virtue of it giving itself room to be ambiguous.

I've seen the complaints about stuff like the PM being a blank slate, but I do rather feel like that might be the point. It's an episode all about perception and projection and narrativisation of a universe that can be cold and hostile and incomprehensible.

(And frankly, I'm starting to suspect that the whole of RTD2 might be about that on some level. "We see something incomprehensible and invent the rules to make it work" and all that. It's audacious and bold in a way that Doctor Who hasn't been in half a decade.)

And as someone for whom those themes really hit home a lot of the time, yeah, I loved it. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I am genuinely just having a blast with this latest series.

The worst thing Doctor Who can ever feel like for me is an obligation that I only keep up with out of a need to stay relatively current in writing about it, and that was what the Chibnall Era often boiled down to for me.

Part of the reason, in hindsight, I poured so much of myself into my book reviews was that the show itself was simply failing to excite me with the level of regularity necessary to keep me engaged.

Knowing that I can put on Doctor Who on a Saturday night and be reasonably well-entertained and intrigued is, frankly, enough for me, but I do think there are enough aspects of genuine quality that I'm not just blindly worshipping at the altar of a false idol or w/e.

I dunno, I think at the end of the day I'm just a big sucker for TV that makes sense to me on an emotional rather than logical level. It's why I'm a big fan of Twin Peaks, or the second season of Millennium, or hell even Masks over on TNG.

The episode had the general feel of one that will be quite important to the overall themes of the season, so I can't imagine it will linger in *complete* ambiguity forever (though honestly if it did I would kind of love that).

Like I wouldn't be surprised if we're building up to a similar time loop reveal wrt Ruby's general existence. The fact that we've now got at least three instances of her timeline being haunted by mysterious old women cannot possibly be coincidence.

(Well, it can be, but that way lies goblins, as we know.)

IDK, there's a strangeness to Davies' acknowledgments of mediality here that goes even beyond Moffat's usual tricks. Casting a recurring actress by the name of Susan Twist while conspicuously mentioning Susan for the first time in forever feels so on the nose that while I initially suspected we might be building to the return of Susan, I now feel like we're instead headed for something much weirder.

There is so much going on and so much to unpack and frankly I don't have any idea how it could possibly tie together but I'm fascinated.

And again, the fact that this episode was almost explicitly about the process of fans theorising as to what the hell is going on with the season makes me further suspect a rebuttal of theory-focused cult fandom is in the offing.

When I first watched Once, Upon Time in 2021, I commented that it felt like Chris Chibnall's attempt to do a big, bold, incomprehensible piece of television, something almost in the vein of Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 8 but for Doctor Who.

But it's revealing that the only thing he could really think to do was dump a bunch of Doctor Who lore and simply edit things out. He's a mystery writer in the most tediously literal sense of the phrase, creating gaps that feel like they were made with a hacksaw rather than feeling like any sort of deliberate lacuna.

And I'm sorry Chibnall fans, there are some Thirteen episodes that I do like, but when I look at an episode like 73 Yards... whatever its faults may be, and I'm pretty confident I don't actually believe it to be perfect, it is bolder and weirder than anything Chibnall ever wrote. This is the kind of television I want to watch, and I make no apologies for that.

It's a rare piece of Doctor Who which comes close to capturing that sheer, terrible splendour I felt watching a slow zoom into an atom bomb explosion while being serenaded by the Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima. And sure, it's still very far out from being quite that strange, but it retains a curious power nevertheless.

What a show.

[kxmpfflieger]

Hey, you made me feel sad for your dies-in-every-timeline-TF OC and I would love some more thoughts and lore about her plz. I will fill a cup with my tears if it pleases you

NO THATS NO NEED --

Dumping all my thoughts under the cut cause this might get long! Sorry if the writings feel scattered.

Her name is Wraith, a Decepticon with a motorcycle as an alt mode. She favours stealth above all, so she prefers to fight with swords rather than blasters.

I havent finished all the IDW comics so I can confidently only speak on her Prime lore -- She's on board the Nemesis practically from day one. Wraith gets pushed around a lot (mostly by Starscream) because she hates practically every word that comes out of his mouth. She's very much like a stubborn teenager so anyone trying to command authority over her just gets on her bad side. Despite Megatron, who has managed to earn her respect (also cause yk. hes scary)

Other bits of lore include

shes besties with Knockout and Breakdown, mainly beacuse they're also land vehicles like her (shes incredibly emotionally avoidant so even this bit of friendship is an achivement).

She's close to Soundwave mostly by proxy of my other oc Pulseblade fussing over her like a mother (I ship Pulse and SW so thats how he ends up being tied to Wraith)

Airachnid freaks her the fuck out. I think TFP Starscream is very "bark and no bite", whereas Airachnid really isnt that, so where threats from Screamer dont really do anything to Wraith, when they come from Airachnid she's more likely to take them seriously.

Wraith has a bad history with being abused and mistreated from the war back on Cybertron, which has caused all kinds of problems w emotional attachments (and behavioural issues)

Starscream ends up killing her at some point in the series. He makes it seem like an accident and blames it on the Autobots. Pulseblade takes it the worst out of everyone, even if she's comforted by Knockout on the matter (this is sometime after Breakdown is also killed). I think this will lead Pulseblade to defect, essentially giving up on the war. In my head she somehow finds out Wraith was assassinated by Starscream (maybe by Rachet, since they used to be coworkers at some point so she'd be more inclined to believe him) which will then lead her to become an Autobot.

Because Wraith dies in Prime she'd also not show up in RiD, although Pulse does make a return. I think it'd be fun for Wraith to haunt the narative in some way. Wraith is also dead in Earthspark, and Shattered Glass. ES Megatron and Bee remember her fondly so maybe her memory gets to inspire the Terrans or something.

I REALLY LOVE THE TERRANS every bit of me wants Wraith to be around for Earthspark for the character interactions but ooouhghghh omg i love angst :(( idunnoo

i just generally am fascinated by the post-war cybertron narrative, which is why im debating her place in earthspark and i want her alive in the idw continuity

[miametropolis]

My condolences for the containment breach I get how having thousands of ppl say the same joke over and over in the notes of your genuine analysis post can get annoying 😭 😭😭😭 I’m extremely down to hear more about the differences between the ninth and tenth doctors if you have any other insights you want to share though!!! I’ve been turning your post over and over in my brain like a rotisserie chicken ever since I read it it’s so good

omg thank you for your condolences...it really is the containment breach of all time...let me think!! I have a MAJOR tenth doctor video essay I may or may not make so here are the cliff notes:

-To begin. Anne Carson wrote that to live beyond the end of your myth is a perilous thing.

-in many ways, the 10th Doctor is cursed from his inception b/c he is born at the end of the Doctor and Rose's romantic arc (from a certain point of view) AND YET he is born sheerly out of love for her / to love her

-(we all know the fanon--or is it canon?--idea that Ten's face was subconciously selected to be one that Rose would like, and he's gone for her from the beginning...hello, The Christmas Invasion.)

-all that said, by the time The Parting of the Ways occurs, Rose and Nine have completed a full narrative arc:

-Nine whisked Rose away from the life of boredom and sheltered drudgery she experienced on the estate; she brought life back into the eyes of a hardened war veteran/The Last of the Time Lords

-more importantly, they complete a kind of mutualistic ultimate sacrifice (in a Shakesperian sense?) wherein Rose 'becomes' the Doctor by absorbing the literal heart of the TARDIS (we don't have time to get into that) and erasing the Daleks into dust, finishing the last of the Time War AND saving the Doctor's life

-he immediately returns the favor, absorbing the energy that's destroying her with a kiss (let it be known--the ONLY kiss between the Doctor and Rose Tyler proper--neither Tentoo or Cassandra really count imo), returning her to humanity, life, and safety

-all that said, Nine dies both saving AND being saved by Rose in a kind of unrivaled (?) parity between Doctor and companion. it's perfect synthesis.

-THEN 10 is born. uh-oh.

It is here that I would like to quote Michael Kinnucan's fabulous essay 'The Gods Show Up' on Greek tragedies:

The tragic hero is complete. You can call him unhappy (miserable, utterly broken) even before he is dead. For an instant he is something like divine. And then he dies, because there’s nothing left to do. The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking, someone whose face is a mask.

I think one of the most fascinating 10 v. 9 moments is that one scene that got cut where Rose says "I miss him." and the Doctor replies "Me too."

As many people in the notes of that original post point out (god help me) 10 is ALSO born IMMEDIATELY into heartbreak--whatever vestigal version of Nine lives inside him died with the despair of losing Rose

-TEN is the man that went sauntering away. perhaps that's part of why Ten is so terrified of/resentful towards regeneration. I think he's lived precisely the worst cost of it.

-The notion of 'talking after death' and 'wearing a face that's a mask' is a existentialist take on regeneration itself--ten EPITOMIZES this tragic hero archetype, esp. after Doomsday (literally! Doomsday!!)

-during his life, I wonder if Nine already considers himself lost in a sense? He's lived past the Time War, past the destruction of everything, and he's also the first NuWho Doctor. HIS ability to indulge in love (even in mortality, given his short lifespan) is different.

-TEN on the other hand has that INCREDIBLY frightening (for him) confrontation with Sarah Jane in School Reunion--knitting him back into canon continuum of Doctor Who, stitching him to the myth of The Doctor that has to live on and on and on in perpetuity--and seems VERY haunted by (im)mortality

-How much time does Ten spend running from Jack? A human being who CAN follow him to the end of time? Ten can't decide if he wants to be mortal or immortal, human or Time Lord. Think of the way he acts with Martha, with Wilf, with Donna. He is totally frozen inside of the space of his seasons. He has time paralysis (fatal, for a Time Lord)

-he is the first doctor that we see reallllly try to stave off regeneration

-That's why there's a certain frantic escapism to his adventures with Rose in S2--he knows, more than she does, that they are hurtling toward's disaster.

-he can't love Rose in a consumate way, even if he wanted to (he wants to) b/c he's trapped inside of his myth. he's like sisyphus. or that guy getting his liver ripped out by the eagle. Nine and Rose are lines that can cross. Ten and Rose are parallel lines. if they touch, the universe dissolves. hence why the narrative/God/Russel T. Davies had to lock her away in another universe

anways!

Ten once canonically carved a statue of Rose by hand with every inch of her body absolutely perfect, from memory, and I think that's crazy

[londonhalcyon]

Sevika????? The old enforcers general??? I can't think of any other fem character that isn't considered a main one??? Unless Babette?

Ohhh, you might be disappointed to learn just how vanilla I am.

To be fair, I do like several different types of characters; this just happens to be one of the most prominent ones.

Arcane Season 2, Act 1 spoilers below the cut—plus a body horror jumpscare and a loooong essay on the inner workings of my mind.

It’s Elora! Who kinda might be already very dead by the start of the next act.

If you’ve seen how I write Kathy in The Mad Witch or Ellie in my Fallout 4 fics—or even just how I adore characters like Effie Perine from The Maltese Falcon—you might be able to guess how much I love the “keen-eyed assistant with a witty sense of humor” kind of character. The ones who are present for major events but stand off to the side, not directly involved but certainly observing.

I liked Elora well enough in Season 1. We aren’t given too much about her, but Arcane is brilliant at sneaking in small details—enough to make me go, “Huh! What’s going on with you?” From context, we’re able to tell:

While Elora is Mel’s assistant, they have a really friendly relationship that appears grounded in loyalty and trust, which is fascinating considering the whole political chess game always going on.

It’s highly likely Elora followed Mel into exile from Noxus, which raises a whole host of questions about any life she may have left behind.

It’s possible Elora may be required to report on Mel to Ambessa. She definitely handles communications with her. Though, if this is the case, she seems loyal to Mel first.

So Season 1 got me idly asking questions, but my general reaction was still, “Cool! Fun background character!”

Now we have Act 1 of Season 2. Y’all…the show can’t do this to me. It’s not fair.

In like two minutes of screen time we get confirmation that Elora does serve as a sort of spymaster for Mel—and the girl is stressed. She seems almost distraught that Mel had to seek information from another source, that she can’t work out what Ambessa is planning. And that reaction caught me off guard? Like, hold on, now I really want to know what’s going on with you.

Only then they’re immediately attacked by the Black Rose and as I’m internally screaming, “Nononono, don’t you dare, don’t you dare,” Elora is doing a horror movie turn towards the camera in tears as roses grow out of her face and you can’t do this to me—you can’t get me asking questions about a character and then threaten to kill that character off a minute later.

So, I foresee one of three things happening next:

The roses killed her, meaning she’ll be dead at the start of the next act,

She survives, at least for a minute, or

She’s actually a double agent and her anxiety was either a deception or because she knew what was about to happen.

But I do trust Arcane’s writers. Even minor character deaths have a tendency to haunt the narrative, so I’m very curious what effect there will be if she does die. Depending on what happens, though, I might have to write something just to give myself closure, because I have already spent way too much time thinking about a character who stands in the background for most of the show.