#the way she acts until he realizes the doctor doesn't know her yet is so bittersweet on rewatch

[ravenluckarts]

Doodle of River from my favourite episode

[immediatebreakfast]

I love how Renfield is the oldest (59) and Mina is very likely the living youngest, and yet they bond so well. (It reminds me how well Mina befriended the 99 year old Mr Swales that he sought her company and felt care for her.) It probably contributed that Jack may have experience with interacting with "madmen" and studying, Mina had lived with and loved a "madman".

It's truly incredible how a simple conversation between an old man in physical cell, and a young woman in a mental cell put such a dent in the Count's plans that he had to flee to Transylvania once it was clear that nothing would stop the crew.

Even if the repercutions were huge in the narrative, in between the horror and the action it was just a visit (probably the first visit that Renfield had in a long time) to talk.

Reading again the entry I noticed how hostile Renfield is towards Mina at first,

"You're not the girl the doctor wanted to marry, are you? You can't be, you know, for she's dead." - R.M. Renfield, september 30.

and even with everything one can say about sexism, and the building infantilization of Mina, let's remember that this is the first time Renfield meets someone that is specifically associated with Jack. Renfield's remarked abuser in both authority, and personhood in general. Also by probably being informed by Dracula himself that both Mina and Jonathan are the key players in this continuous attacks against his plans in England, on top of just almost correctly assuming that Mina must share the same opinion towards the mentally ill that society has.

Three strikes against Mina that she switfly defeats by treating Renfield like the person he is, and talking to him in a normal manner. After taking care of her beloved Jonathan, and being at Lucy's side most of her life Mina is aware of how the Other is viewed. Maybe as she saw Renfield, Mina thought of a worse reality where the man on the bed was her Jonathan in Budapest, maybe she saw how Seward reacted to Renfield's words, and realized what was actually layed out in the room. Or maybe Mina just saw an old man in need of an ear, and she just listened.

This is the first time that Renfield puts a face on a victim of the Count's games, he puts a voice on the young victim whose life is going to violently end in what he thought was supposed to be eternal bliss. Lucy is a distant dream for Renfield, the revenge against these people who dared to put up a fight against this old ancient evil that goes beyond all of their years combined.

Renfield never knew Lucy, but he knows Mina now.

Renfield sees the young Mina Harker, entering life with her equal young husband in hand, and trying to solve the murder of what he knows now was her best friend, and he reflects. He reflects on everything he has done, on what has passed, and what he can do tomorrow.

Mr. Renfield asked if he might see me. Poor man, he was very gentle, and when I came away he kissed my hand and bade God bless me. Some way it affected me much; I am crying when I think of him. This is a new weakness, of which I must be careful. Jonathan would be miserable if he knew I had been crying. - Mina Harker, october 2.

And the man is devastated to see how he is helping orchestrate the murder of another young lady to please the Count. He becomes desperate to leave (a request that is denied by both Seward, and Van Helsing), so the Count can't have access to the inside of the asylum. It doesn't matter if he looks like a coward by the time's literary standards because if the only way to at least save that young lady is by acting like one? Then Renfield might as well do it, he has nothing to lose sans his life.

I think that the key difference between Mina, and Jack when it comes to Renfield is empathy, and the ability to simply treat the other person with the same humanity you should be treated.

Jack may have studied, and climbed until he got to be the head of an asylum, but his own biases, mental problems, and ableism blurred the lines between patient and doctor so hard that he made Renfield's life a boring hell. From when their dynamic was introduced, to Renfield's death, the narrative dictated how Seward was putting both into a deep spiral in which, not even with Renfield's manipulations, none of them were going to come out in victory.

In contrast, Mina has cared for Jonathan without any restrain, and has lived in service of what the situation demands of her at all times. She knows, as a young victorian lady, how to balance herself without trying to compete, or win the other person in the room with her. Mina only needed to genuinely talk to Renfield to break his heart because she gave him the respect, and honestly she expects for herself when talking.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Taichi Yagami | Yamato Ishida | Sora Takenouchi | Koushirou Izumi | Mimi Tachikawa | Jyou Kidou | Takeru Takaishi | Hikari Yagami | Daisuke Motomiya | Miyako Inoue | Iori Hida | Ken Ichijouji

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

If there is one thing fandom - usually - unanimously agrees on, it's that Sora and Jyou are the mom and the dad of the squad. The responsible ones, the voices of reason to keep all the bickering, danger-seeking kids on their toes while having a piece of advice for all of them... Unfortunately, while they are naturally responsible, caring and kind people, their urge to take care of others used to be fueled by familial trauma and the idea that they simply HAVE to act out of obligation. It's a theme for both of them that gets handled in different yet similar ways - but I'm already getting ahead of myself.

Despite their parental status, Jyou and Sora unfortunately do not share a lot of screen time together. When thinking of them, there are usually three to four key moments that come to mind; most famously, there is their Bakemon adventure in which Sora tries to encourage Jyou to be the leader he thinks he has to be after being asked to do so by Gomamon - it's one of their first key scenes, because Jyou's persistence is what gets them out of a pinch eventually. And even though Sora was a little bit wary of Jyou's capabilities at first, her kindness, her belief in him get them that far in the first place. It's all mostly played for comic relief reasons - and so do a lot of their interactions in Adventure, oftentimes joined by Mimi, as the girls simply love to come together to tease Jyou at various points in the series.

So what we can tell - despite their presumably "adult" status in the group, they have a rather light-hearted bond that also allows them to be a little silly at times. On the other hand, we also learn that their sense of obligation is what drives them both towards their darkest moments... Jyou struggles with his sense of leadership and doesn't know his place at first, living to study to become a doctor to please his father - as opposed to Sora, who tries to rebel against her mother, not wanting to be reduced to become an iemoto, thinking that she's not even as kind as everyone assumes her to be. She feels responsible to save the world and is afraid of failure - just like Jyou is until he realizes that there are things only he can do. Even if he may not be the leader he thought he should be, even if becoming a doctor seems like a struggle, he understands that he has a choice to support in the best way he can - and it's this realization that helps him to become the senpai that Sora needed and, alongside Yamato, to pull Sora out of her own darkness. At least temporarily.

Because while Jyou does have his setbacks, he keeps pursuing to become a doctor, finding his own path alongside being a Chosen Child and senpai for everyone - despite having the reputation of always being busy. Meanwhile, Sora has various ups and downs on her way to figure herself out and struggles A LOT HARDER to juggle everything: her sense of femininity, whether she wants to maintain her group-mom status or pull herself back from everyone, whether she needs to abandon her self as a Chosen Child completely, whom she really loves, while also figuring out whether eventually becoming an iemoto was the right choice after all...

One cannot help but wonder: Maybe it would have helped Sora to stay in touch with Jyou more after all. In Tri, we still saw Jyou - as depicted above - being rather (physically) protective of Sora (once again, alongside Mimi), whereas Sora was the one texting Jyou about Gomamon while he was not around, thus still displaying the mutual care. But, at the point of Kizuna/The Beginning, we don't even know when they talked the last time...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

I actually believe Jyou is among the most plausible partners for Sora - potentially at least. I really do believe that their personalities would match incredibly well once they've settled down a little - meaning, once Jyou has settled into his work-life for a while and Sora is at least a little bit closer to figuring out that she likes designing clothes more than arranging flowers. In sum - once they started to CHILL OUT a little bit more into adulthood, I feel like their mutually caring attitudes could result in a very loving, understanding relationship. Yes, they can both be stingy and pedantic and one might argue that they're actually too similar in this regard to really play off of each other romantically, to keep things exciting - but I still think that they need a lot of stability and assurance in their lives. Knowing that there is someone they can always rely on. Plus, they both tend to just naturally give advice and may be capable of, subconsciously, telling the other exactly what they need to hear in order to snap out of more negative tendencies.

Jyou in particular develops more healthy approaches towards his own limitations, he DOES become more relaxed and calm - and Sora seems to need a lot more validation than she was ever capable of admitting. And... Admittedly, even if they may only date for a while, I feel like that period alone could be incredibly assuring for both of them, feeling that mutual love and appreciation, still being wanted and needed. And even if they broke up at some point - I cannot ever see bad blood remaining between them. They would always, ALWAYS remain on friendly terms, because in my opinion, their natural kindness towards each other was NEVER out of obligation.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

Generally, I'm thinking very fondly of Jyoura, they give a somewhat fuzzy, comfy feeling, even if their lack of interaction really bothers me. Initially, Sora used to be a character who had a bond with nearly EVERY Chosen Child, and her being slowly but steadily removed from the team really makes it hard to estimate her level of closeness to everyone. I do believe that they can be incredibly good for each other and I like to joke about them being in a little poly bond with Mimi, because at this point, I feel like Mimi is the connective element between them that could make a lot of things right. She is the extroverted force to their introverted tendencies and since they all adore each other a lot... Why shouldn't that work? That aside, I simply appreciate Jyoura as a dynamic, even though I don't actively ship them, I will always support anyone who does depict them, because it's usually in very loving, mutually supportive ways.

[twelvemonkeyswere]

Love, Loss, and Doctor Who

I know there are about 15 years of experiences for Russel T Davies that have probably influenced the approach with which he's written 14th and Donna's storyline, but I also think there's something to say about the Doctor's growth as a character since 9.

Doctor Who has never been terribly consistent about many things, but something every NuWho Doctor has had in common is how the love for his/her companions influences the story's themes around loss. 9 came out of a war, furious and hurt, and didn't want anyone at his side. Then he met Rose. He allowed himself to become her friend, and he died saving her, in an act full of quiet bravery and determination. Along came 10, who fell in love with her, but he never told her directly, wasn't brave enough. Her loss made him show his cruel streak, as he mistreated and ignored Martha, and Martha calling him out on it made him more aware of how he approached Donna. He was more honest with her about who he was and what he wanted, and then she became his best friend, and she saved the universe, and he had to effectively erase all of their time together, all of her adventures and their friendship, in order to save her. He lost her anyway, in one of the worst ways possible, and that broke him enough he almost became his worst possible self. When she couldn't be there, her grandfather was, holding her place. 10 went as far to sort of voice he saw Wilf as a father figure, in spite of the overwhelming age difference, but nothing more. He died, like 9, for love, saving Wilf even though he very much was not ready to die. 10 wasn't ready for many things.

After that, 11 had a teenage-like approach to most of his relationships (I feel like this is Moffat's writing choices more than anything else), and the result was that he kept most people at bay and it never allowed him true closeness to most of them, even though he had River Song during this time and a lot of love for Amy and Clara. Yet there's always a gap. The madman with a box, the impossible man, always something grandiloquent. He ages for thousands of years, and is very tired by the end and very lonely. But then 12 came along, and that's when things actually turn beautiful.

12 is famously grumpy, but that's because he deeply cares (you can't care about others or the world without constantly getting angry, I think). He creates with Clara what he couldn't have with her while he was 11 - he asks her to see him for who he is, for what he is. 12 offers earnestness. Kindness, not niceness. They become inseparable. His loyalty and fierceness reach glorious highs. He realizes his face is a reminder of something he learned from Donna - that even when the worst happens, you have a choice regarding the good you can do, even if it's small. He holds himself to it, to the last consequences. He still avoids traditional expressions of affection (it's so hard for him to accept hugs at the beginning), but he shows it at every turn. In what he does and *doesn't* do. He spends literal billions and billions of years trying to get out of a timelocked prison because he needs to save Clara. He goes right to the end of the universe to preserve her. He ends up wiping up his *own* memory, this time in a consensual understanding with his companion, because one has to go for both of them to survive, for the universe to survive. They force themselves apart, and 12 keeps to himself for decades after that, until Bill shows up. And it reminds him how beautiful friends are, and the thrills of finding someone with a perspicacity that rivals yours and a curiosity that moves their very life. 12 says he shouldn't make her his friend, but they become friends anyhow, mentor and mentee. 12 constantly said you had to act as if you had already won, and when he is shot, he refuses to die. He has lost too much and too many by this point and the injustice makes him angry, so he doesn't want to lose anything else. It takes him a while to make peace with his departure, but meeting his past self allows him to understand what letting go means for him. He upholds his promises till the very end, best he can. When he regenerates, he has closed down his story with River Song, with Clara and Bill and his own self. He allowed himself to belong to someone again and it HURT him and it could have potentially hurt many more, but he lets go of who he had been, ready to embrace new frontiers.

And when 13 shows up, she immediately pack-bonds with others, showing pure admiration and love for the magnificent world around her. She makes friends with Yaz, Ryan, and Graham and she quickly gets close to them. Her newly found openness gets her to the point she begins to fall in love with Yaz as well. But this time, she's learned from what her past self did to Rose and to Martha, from what 12 achieved and lost. And 13 is cautious and kind, too. She is very aware of the differences between her and Yaz, and where they are the same, and what they could never have, and what they're risking to lose. She isn't quite getting the hang of it yet, and when she returns to old habits and begins pulling back, her friends call her out. But she listens this time, because she's learned she needs to listen. It's cruel and disrespectful to decide for your friends what they can and cannot take. Her relationship with the master deepens, too, in a way neither of them likes, but the Doctor discovers while being 13 that her very past was taken away from her, all those lives she had lived and had been forcibly removed from, she had lost more than she had ever known. So when Dan comes along to remind her to be honest about her feelings, 13 does what 10 couldn't, and admits to Yaz that, were circumstances different, she'd like to make what they have official. But she won't put Yaz in that position, which would only hurt Yaz. They talk about their feelings sitting on a beach, watching the ocean. 13 says if she could she'd make it every day like this, just keeping each other's company, in a clear contrast to the adventure-laden lives she had lived before. She's learned to appreciate the quiet moments again, she's not trying to drown the sorrow with loud noises. And when it's 13's turn to regenerate, she says goodbye quietly too, watching the earth with Yaz one last time. She sends Yaz to her friends. The Doctor's companions find friendship and support in each other while, simultaneously, 13 goes to a cliff to watch the sunrise. She's alone, as she knew she'd be, but her last act is to express gratefulness. She's sad and scared, but looking back with appreciation for all she found and all she had, and looking ahead to whatever life may bring.

And then 14 takes over, and he doesn't know why he has 10's face. But he's here admitting that he deeply loves Donna, that he loved Wilf, that he would like just sitting down for a cup of coffee with Donna, just to spend time with her, that that's an option they could have. They both still love their adventures, of course, but this is a stark change from the fast-paced life they used to have. Now he's here cradling her with a loving gaze as she fades out, no pity or shame, just devotion. He comes after a long line of other faces putting effort into relearning over and over how to love someone who goes away far too quickly, and how to express it. He seems to have a better understanding that the ephemeral nature of both ourselves and our relationships with others is not something to avoid or fear, but rather what challenges us - demands of us - to give our full attention to the present and what we have. The very fact he gets to see Donna again and they get to be themselves with each other after so many years is a miracle on itself. Donna suggests 14 came to say goodbye, I believe that too. But I feel like the power of hindsight is an invaluable gift, and second chances even more, so I can't wait to see what 14 and Donna make of it.

[duckapus]

Koopa Concert Reunion Tour: Part 2

After everyone's mostly managed to recover from the shock of seeing what converted Sage is like, Kamek explains why they're here, prompting Junior to bring him, SMG4, Mario, Lil Coding (because there's no fucking way he's getting separated from his dad if he doesn't have to be) and Meggy (because she and Mario are still reeling from losing Luigi and each need to Know that their other sibling is still there) up to a place where they can comfortably talk to Bowser in his current state, while Sage gives the others a tour of the castle.

Junior leads his group up to what seems to be the top of the castle's tallest tower, only stopping when they reach a large set of black-and-silver metal double doors, with spiked studs lining the edges and a massive Bowser Emblem etched across both, "Here we are! Fair warning, Papa's Wonder Form can be pretty overwhelming up close. Now, if you guys are okay on your own from here, I'm gonna go take over the tour so Sage can have some time with her dad."

"We'll be fine, young prince. Thank you for your help," Kamek smiles and ruffles Junior's fire...hair...stuff, with the kid predictably growling in (mostly) feigned annoyance and waving him off.

"Kamek, I'm supposed to be cool around here!" he huffs and rolls his eyes, "Anyway, see you guys later." He starts to run back down the stairs, then stops and turns back to where SMG4 and Lil Coding are, "An' don't worry, 3 and Lily are tough! I bet they're doing just fine in that dumb puddle!" And off he goes.

With a fondly exasperated headshake, Kamek turns to face the doors, "Well, everyone ready?" there's generally affirmative answers all around, and he opens the door, revealing a balcony that puts them directly at eye level with Castle Bowser.

As expected, the group looks upon his absolutely massive form in awe...and then Mario busts a gut laughing, prompting everyone, including Bowser, to deadpan at him as he rolls all over the balcony in hysterics for far too long.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile with the Tour group, a poster catches Tari's eye, "Hm? Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem playing their new album live in collaboration with...SAIKO BICHITARU!?"

She checks where and when they're playing, then frantically turns towards their current guide, "Sage! Do you know how to get to 23-G from here?"

"Uh, I'm plugged into the kingdom's systems, so I can look it up?" she's initially confused about why Tari sounds so urgent, until she finds out who's playing and gasps, OH SH- okay, I'm sending a map with the shortest route from here to there and there to the ship to your arm now."

"Oh, thank you thank you!" she wraps the little AI in a short hug before letting go and running off.

Everyone else is shocked and a little confused by this, before Root remembers something and chases after her, "Wait, we're not supposed to go off on our own!"

Toadsworth of all people is the next to run (at least as much as a guy who needs a cane and has no legs can run), realizing that there should probably be at least one rational adult in that particular group, "Hold on there, lasses! *huff, huff* Oh stars, what a day."

"...Well that happened."

Tari eventually makes it to the concert, just in time to catch the end of the opening act. Even from back at the entrance, she can see that despite absolutely fitting this Zone's theme, somehow none of the Muppets that make up Electric Mayhem are converted yet, "Please be okay please be okay please be okay..."

As the song draws to a close and Dr. Teeth starts talking to the audience, Root and Toadsworth finally catch up, both needing to catch their breath, "how...are you...so fast?"

Toadsworth's exhaustion is bad enough he has to sit down against the wall, "Ohhh, these old bones aren't what they used to be..."

Tari keeps her eyes locked on the stage, seemingly not even noticing them, and Root walks over right next to her looks up at her with clear worry, "Tari?"

That seems to almost snap her out of the trance she's in, until she hears Dr. Teeth say, "And now, without further ado, I am absolutely jazzed to present our very special guest; the one, the only, SAIKO!!!"

The crowd goes wild as out of an artificial fog bank steps Saiko, in all her...neon green haired...purple eyed...spiked-leather-covered...glory. Holding a...Bowser Emblem-shaped guitar...

Oh...

Root winces, "Wow, those are really not her colors, huh Tari?" when she doesn't get an answer she looks up again, and is shocked by just how devastated Tari looks, "Are...are you alright?"

Tari shakes herself off and tries to smile down at her, "Yeah, I just-I hoped- I thought maybe...well. At least she's somewhere safe, a-and doing what she loves, right?"

Root and Toadsworth share a concerned glance, then look back up to see that Tari's watching the concert again, tears in her eyes, "Do you...want to go talk to her?"

"..." She finally manages to tear herself away, "Nah, the concert runs to long for that. Besides, it's not like we cAn- like we can take her with us anyway."

She slowly starts to walk away, checking the map on her arm, "I... I think I just want to wait in the ship."

And so, the three of them head back to the ship in silence, leaving Converted Saiko and her screaming fans in their wake.

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Back with Kamek's group, Mario's still laughing at Bowser, "L-look at the size of his head!"

After a few more seconds, it finally starts to die down, and Bowser gives him a Look, "You finally get all that out of your system?"

He gets back up, shaking off the remaining giggles and catching his breath, "Y-yeah. Sorry, I just, I really needed that. It's... It's been a Day."

"Eh, I've had worse reactions. Now, what're you all up here for?"

Kamek takes the floor, "Well you see Lord Bowser, we believe we've discovered a way to fix all this chaos."

"Go on..."

And so Kamek tells Bowser of what they know so far about the situation, and their quest to obtain the seven Wonder Seeds.

"Hmm...welp, it's not much of a plan, but we've worked with less. Here." He sends down one of his Cloud Piranhas, which deposits the green Wonder Seed on the balcony.

Kamek picks the seed up and stores it away in his robes, "Thank you, my lord. We won't let this go to waste."

"I'm holding you to that. Also, before you head out get Egghead to set up a comms channel with Sage. I want updates on your progress so we're prepared over here when the barriers go down."

"Of course. Now, with your permission, we'll take our leave. The sooner we go, the sooner this will all be over...aaaand the less likely it is that we end up as more of your ravers."

"Yeah, yeah, don't let the doors hit ya on the way out." as the group is leaving, he calls out again, "And hey! I'm glad to see you're all right, old timer."

Kamek smiles back at him, "Likewise, son."

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As everyone's getting back on the ship, Eggman, Sage and Cubot are putting the finishing touches on the communications channel, which was moderately tricky to set up since they're currently disconnected from the Eggnet.

"And...that should do it! We're fully linked."

"Sweet! Now you guys can tell me all about whatever cool adventures you get caught up in."

"I'll be sure to include every detail!" he grins his usual Eggmany grin and ruffles her already-messy hair, "I wish we could take you with us, but hopefully this should tide you over."

"Oh, that reminds me," she shifts her attention to Cubot, "Since I'm out of commission, it's your job to make sure dad takes care of himself, alright?"

"Hey!"

"Don't worry little sis, I'll do my best to keep the boss's all-nighters to a minimum."

" I can't believe this..."

The two eggbots can't help but snicker at their creator's frustration, "And uh, If you get the chance, give Metal a smack from me for being a moron and grabbing a foreign power source without safety checking, alright?"

"Um...I'll try, I guess."

He floats up onto the deck after that, and then there were two.

"Well...I suppose this is goodbye for now."

"Yeah..." seemingly out of nowhere, she starts fiddling with her shirt, unable to maintain eye contact, face full of guilt.

"Is something wrong?"

"I...I'm sorry. I know I'm not the version of myself you were hoping to find...like, at all."

"Oh, Sage," He pulls her in closer, then cups her cheek in his hand and lifts her face so she sees his face, "I'll admit, this isn't what I would have expected from you, but I promise that you did not disappoint me. So you're acting a bit strange, so what? You're safe, you're happy, and you're in the care of someone I trust. That's as much as I'd ever really ask for on a good day, let alone under these circumstances."

Thankfully his reassurances seem to work, and while she's still more emotional than usual she's at least no longer guilty. She closes the remaining gap between them and wraps her arms around his neck (such as it us), and he of course immediately returns the hug, "I love you Dad."

"And I love you, dear daughter."

After a few moments, they pull apart, knowing he still has to go, "Now, you be good. Don't you and Junior go causing too much trouble for Bowser."

She gives him a toothy, lopsided grin, "No promises."

"Oh ho ho, that's my girl!" and then he's up the gangplank and the Airship's on its way to Lily's Zone.

[fumikomiyasaki]

Reunion

Tw. Dark themes, Parental death, Experimentation

And here is the overdue backstory of Seraphim and Zariyah... where I just drifted far away from their FF7 inspos a little.

Seraphim at first grew up in a small village with only his mother, she put a pink band in his hair often to make him a ponytail for his long black hair and he worked hard to one day be one of the best sword masters of the village.However one day he went into the woods alone, got attacked by an unknown monster and in turn as he killed it absorbed his cells... the village took him to the towns doctor who however discovered these cells and in secret send him to a research facility instead. Years of experiment made his hair white, his eyes green and him forgot about how old he is right now... it didn't help that the village he grew up had an unknown Language to many and he couldn't speak anything else, so he couldn't even tell the researchers to let him go. They wanted him to become the perfect weapon, the super soldier.

Yet eventually one Researcher proposed another idea as they took care of another female research speciment too... given her cells were unique as well if they are combined with Seraphims if an even more powerfull being would envolve from the too. Even if many researches called that specimen 345-73, Seraphim called her while spending time with her Rory, as she called him Seraphim... even if they were only put together to reproduce their bond was friendly... but in turn... Zariyah was born yet Rory died after giving birth to her.

Seraphim didn't want Zariyah to grow up like he experienced in this facility... and so in one fell swoop overnight.... he broke out and burned down the whole research facility. After he was finished however he found and unknown portal to another world and passed through it by accident... and so from Planet Goaret he went to the world of Twisted wonderland, landing right before Night Raven colleges footsteps. Even if Crowley didn't understand his language, he could guess what Seraphim went through and so slowly the school got Seraphim a place to stay and take care of Zariyah, untill he could finally learn the language enough and propose the idea to let Zariyah instead grow up with a more normal family... to at least ensure her happiness.

Eventually they found a family to adopt her and Seraphim trained hard, studying each day to find his own passion in being a teacher and get recommended by Crowley to go to HSA.

Years passed, the Crystaleon dormitory got formed and Seraphim eventually met a small black haired girl who wanted to train under him... feeling a bit of headache while meeting her... he couldn't connect the dots yet... however after a month and getting a call from the family he brought Zariyah too, he looked at the last name and put two and two together that she was his daughter, the same person he gave away.

The shock of learning this caused trouble in a fighting lesson he was supposed to give, his UM creating Hallucinations went haywire. Osyron and Lydia saw a vision of them killing each other, seeing this as a mocking of Seraphim but as well as a message that made them realize things about their marriage, Zariyah saw images of how horrible Seraphim and people in the lab got treated and had a sudden mental breakdown, Iris started crying about seeing a nightmare... and Ciel grew mad at Seraphim for hurting them like this. This led to Crystaleons transfer to RSA as well as Seraphim returning to NRC to consult Crowley and working on finding a way for him to control his UM more...

And so he decided in the present to play the Villain... he knows Ciel hates him, he knows many of Crystaleon dislike him... yet subtly he would love to get along with Zariyah as his daughter... telling her that however would again open up these old wounds... and that is something he doesn't want to risk. And so he keeps his distance when he can and acts antagonizing from afar.

Hence I drew this picture... to symbolize how at least he tries to reach out to her. And this is also the explanation why Zariyah is that strong... why she has those powers of Seraphim as well. Its cause indeed they are related... she just doesn't know.

Ciel belongs to @terrovaniadorm

Iris belongs to @cutiecrpze

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: Two wolf shifters agree to be fake mates but unexpectedly find something real in this steamy paranormal romantic comedy by Lana Ferguson.   Mackenzie Carter has had some very bad dates lately. Model train experts, mansplainers, guys weirdly obsessed with her tail—she hasn’t had a successful date in months. Only a year out of residency, her grandmother’s obsession with Mackenzie finding the perfect mate to settle down with threatens to drive Mackenzie barking mad. Out of options, it feels like a small thing to tell her grandmother that she’s met someone. That is, until she blurts out the name of the first man she sees and the last man she would ever date: Noah Taylor, the big bad wolf of Denver General.   Noah Taylor, interventional cardiologist and all around grump, has spent his entire life hiding what he is. With outdated stigmas surrounding unmated alphas that have people wondering if they still howl at the moon, Noah has been careful to keep his designation under wraps. It’s worked for years, until an anonymous tip has everything coming to light. Noah is left with two options: come clean to the board and risk his career—or find himself a mate. The chatty, overly friendly ER doctor asking him to be her fake boyfriend on the same day he’s called to meet the board has to be kismet, right?   Mackenzie will keep her grandmother off her back, and Noah will get a chance to prove he can continue to work without a real mate—a mutually beneficial business transaction, they both rationalize. But when the fake-mate act turns into a very real friends-with-benefits arrangement, lines start to blur, and they quickly realize love is a whole different kind of animal.

Review:

Two wolf shifters agree to be fake mates but what started off as a way to get people off their backs begins to feel very much like falling in love. Mackenzie Carter has been going on bad dates and she's tired of her Grandmother obsessing over her settling down. Mackenzie just wants to focus on her career in the hospital and avoid dating as much as possible, so when she lies to her grandmother and says she has a boyfriend... she accidentally uses the name of the one doctor that she'll have the worst time convincing to be her fake boyfriend, Noah Taylor. Noah Taylor is the interventional cardiologist and a bit of a misanthrope, he's known as the biggest grump in the hospital and people avoid him as much as possible, yet he's a genius and a wonderful doctor.... but he's hiding his own secret. Noah is an unmated Alpha, and someone snitched on him to the board of directors at the hospital and his job is on the line if he can't convince them he has a mate and doesn't have any legendary alpha rage issues. So when Mackenzie's proposal literally lands in his lap, he offers her a counter deal, she pretends to be his mate while he gets the board off his back and in return he'll help keep guys away from her and pretend to be her boyfriend for her grandma. Noah and Mack are complete opposites, she's fun and sunshiny while he's grumpy and a bit of a bore, yet the more time they spend pretending to be a couple the more they are actually beginning to fall for one another... and you know that once you try being friends with benefits... things are only going to get more complicated. Can Mack and Noah figure out who tried to get Noah fired while also figuring out their fake/real relationship situation? This was such a fun and cute read, Noah and Mack were a cute fake dating couple and I had so much fun with the grumpy x sunshine and fake dating tropes in this one. It's a fun paranormal romance and I would definitely recommend it.

*Thanks Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group, Berkley for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[moonlightknightess]

hello , first I would like to say that I missed you very much 😭 honestly , second so in Eremika open relationship au( they're married anf have a kid toggether) what If sasha got pregnant from Eren ofc by accident , how would sasha react ( I think she would have a mental breakdown and panic cause she'll feel like homewrecker and thinks Eremika will resent her and the child , and the child will never feel like his half siblings, then she'll start thinking about (TW!!!) Abortion or giving the child up for adoption) and how would eremik react and how would they know ?

TW: Mentions of abortion

Hiii 🥰 Before I start I have to say I really appreciate your words, seriously! I didn't really expect anyone missing my pressence here so knowing that there is people who really like the things I write makes me both happy and sad a the same time 😭 (I don't mean to dissapear like that I swear!) So thank you 🥲

Now this is prime angst material!!! I try to imagine the whole thing and it ends poorly everytime I do 🥲 like, she would seriously be terrified when she finds out that she sees the two lines on the pregnancy test and that there is no other person she does it with other than Eren fucking Yeager, her bf's husband who somehow managed to sweep her off her feet, so there is no doubts it's his

I imagine that she would struggle a lot with coming into terms with not only becomig a mother, but also knowing that it's her bestfriends husband who is the father, the very same guy who is expecting his own child with the woman he truly loves, making her lose her mind little by little, like going into all the 5 stages of grief until she goes to the doctor and he congratulates her for the baby, dooming her life forever 🥲

Yes she would feel like a homewreaker! This was not supposed to happen ever, they all agreed on it but certainly didn't plan on how to act if by any chances it happened, and the fact that Mikasa was already expecting her own bundle of happiness just makes everything worse since she doesn't want to ruin her moment, so she doesn't say a thing about it, secretly plotting on an abortion or leaving the kid up for adoption once she gives birth to them, which breaks her heart just at the mention of it since its not something she wants to do at all! She always wanted kids on her own so doing such a thing makes her sick in the stomach! But at the same time tries to understand she can't in anyway take charge of a kid, she is simply not ready yet

From now on this could go in two ways, a short one and a long one, the short one being that Sasha eventually tells them about the pregnancy and EreMika somehow convinces her to take an abortion, the whole experience so heart breaking for Sasha and EreMika doing their best to help her through all of it, giving it a somehow tragic and hopeful ending at the same time (? Idk lol

The long one would be something like those stories in which there is a happily married family that somehow find out that the husband got a bastard child, especifially by running into Sasha after some time since she seemed to dissapear from Eren and Mikasa's life, just to find her with a baby in her arms that got Eren's green eyes and Sasha's redhair, the both of them placing the pieces together once they realize why did she seemed to distant from them

Confessions are made and before she can blame herself for anything and swear to never bother them it's Eren who suggest to at least try to form a family of three, to help her with the burden of raising a child alone and to let him take resposability of his actions, maybe seek redemption for all the time he has missed, even if it wasn't technically his fault, Mikasa also agreeing to it as a way to help her friend and because she could never live with the fact that all this open relationship issue stressed Sasha so much and she never did anything to help her

They would try for some time, maybe spend some quality time as a big weird family, and for time it seems to work, Eren and Sasha seems to get along pretty fine whenever they have to take care of their child and Mikasa loves the idea of her little girl getting a half-sibling to play with, ultil she herself addresses the elefant in the room by saying that it didn't felt genuine, that everything in between them in the romantic aspects felt forced

And it would be true honestly, there was nothing in between Eren and Sasha nor Mikasa and Sasha outside physical attraction, they only seeked each other only for pleasure reasons so even if they tried, they couldn't make everything in between them work, it would be a good old "lovers who felt out of love" only difference being that they never fell in love, it was mostly lust that lead them to this situation

And yet, they still care for each other, and since the experience at least helped to create a bond in between the kids they would at least want to be around each other, Eren because he still wants to be a present father, Mikasa because she still sees Sasha's kid as and extension of Eren and because she stills holds Sasha dear to her heart plus the time they spent together made her feel like a mother to her friends kid too, and Sasha because she just always wanted her child and herself to be a part of their lives, all of them understandig that there are not romantic feelings in between them but still wanting to form a family, giving a more happier ending in which Eren and Mikasa still stay together and Sasha eventually finds someone else, preferably someone that doesn't mind the closeness their partner share with her kid's father and his wife... and that doesn't mind her messing around with them from time to time either 🤣

I really think I went overboard with this 🤭 I'm just weird like this sometimes i'm sorry 😭 this one has to be the craziest thing I ever headcannoned

The worst part is that I just know that if it wasn't settled in the eremika open rs au I would make this three have their big weird family have a disney-like ending omg 😂 someone help me (?

[goldom]

AFoLiS author commentary Part 4-2

Alright let's plow through the rest of this. P.S. I am also doing one for Part 5 even though it shouldn't (hopefully) need any changes yet.

So what would a doctor be called who specializes in diseases related to quantum mechanics? Uhhh quantologist. Sure. I went with that. ELS is in a weird place in the game where half the time it acts like it's specifically an Iron Cavalry thing, but other times like it's also something people can just be born with. Firefly asks if you've heard of it before you're supposed to know who she is. For my story I decided other people do have it, but that the natural form doesn't have all the same symptoms (like not dreaming, as she says later, was added intentionally). And if other people have it, that means Sam isn't strictly necessary for treatment, just a way she can get treatment without living in the hospital 24/7. That's what I decided anyway. Post-cure, however, she's able to stay out way more, only needing to go in once a week.

And as for it not really being a cure... maybe that's again just because I felt like it'd be too easy, especially when Stelle wasn't even trying to cure it, just to wake her. It's cured 'enough for now,' but still leaves open the possibility of it getting worse (or better!)

In case it wasn't clear – because the cause and effect were an entire story apart – the reason Stelle is so confident that she's about to be engaged is because back in Part 3, Firefly revealed she'd already bought a ring but wouldn't give it until Stelle reconciled with her own past. Since she did that, she knows it's coming. It's clearer when you don't have to read the two weeks apart.

I felt a little bad being like "this is the real hard part, the recovery," and then just time skipping over most of it... but like... does anyone want to read five chapters of going to P.T.? I sure didn't want to write it. I had to go to my own P.T. lol

Canon-March's bow is not, in fact, made of modern materials, it's all just ice. But... then that whole scene wouldn't have worked, so that's how it's got to stay. This may be obvious, but I've never said it: my thinking is that Abundance Stelle's "skill" is her breath and her "ultimate" is whatever she's trying to learn to do with the bow in this scene. And her basic attack is like 5 damage shoot you with a wooden arrow and is useless. And... now that I write this, I realize I never gave her a talent. Hm. What if it's like, normally she can only heal (breathe) on the party member directly next to her, but after using an ultimate she gets charges of long-distance breathing (blowing a kiss?) lmao I don't know.

As you lie watching her sleep, you wonder. If I changed my wish, why did I get the old one too? Could it be… Elio is actually a nice guy? Or is this also part of some scheme? No point second-guessing it, I’ll go mad trying to understand how he thinks.

Now, I was only thinking about it recently, but this is actually still up in the air. We don't know the exact wording of Stelle's wishes, but Elio's never acted like a genie, he's not trying to use semantics to give out dud wishes. I think you could very reasonably argue that Stelle hasn't gotten either of her wishes granted yet. She's not truly immortal and Firefly isn't cured. They've both gotten more years, but that's it... I'm not foreshadowing anything right now, I honestly haven't written anything based on this thought yet.

Suddenly able to live in normalcy and peace for a little while, Stelle is instantly restless, having to sit with her thoughts. But as soon as she's back out there, she's wishing for a peaceful life again. Grass is always greener, I guess.

Every time I have Firefly say something about not following destiny/fate I feel like I owe an explanation, so here it finally is. Yes, canon-Firefly says repeatedly there is only one destiny, her end is already fated, on and on. But what does she really mean by that? Far as I can tell, just that she will someday die. She also says that until then, she has the right to choose how she lives. That sounds 99% of the way to saying, as I have her do, "Fuck fate." So it's breaking canon a bit, but really not that much. After all, her preordained fate was, unquestionably, to die in war, and she didn't. She already broke out of her destiny once.

OH FUCK ME she does say "You're still my Star" aloud right here. I SEARCHED! I made sure she hadn't ever said it to Stelle! How did I miss this one?! WELP GUESS WHAT, EDIT TIME, NO SHE DIDN'T.

Ok here's another thing I knew I'd need to change. Old line about inviting the SH:

“No,” she finally decides. “That’s my past now. I’m sure we’ll work with them again, but… no. You have anyone?”

Replacement:

“No,” she finally decides. “I want to focus on our future. I know I’ll see them again, and they’ll probably be mad I didn’t, but… no. Not now. You have anyone?”

I already had a huge AN at this point about continuing to keep 'Firefly as trans allegory' alive so I won't repeat it all here. I will say, embarrassingly, I never even thought of it until I heard other people talking about it. I also said I'm never gonna say outright whether my Firefly literally is one way or the other, but some upcoming content is going to, unavoidably, strongly suggest she's not. It's not something I wanted to state, but when we get there, you'll see why it can't be helped. But that's okay – it's still a meaningful allegory, and it's still totally fine for readers to see my version of her as literally trans if they want to.

“Oh God, you haven’t turned into a morning person, have you?”

yeah so this was before Firefly came out as a before dawn person. There's... really no way to keep this line. Replacement:

“Ugh, are you back to being a morning person already?”

Part 4 Chapter 21, Stelle says:

You… are why I’m here.

Part 5 Chapter 25, Firefly mirrors:

Then what am I waiting for? I know why I’m here.

I am so glad I managed to think of "Phoenix." It really is perfect. Like, so perfect for her that I am convinced they're going to use it officially at some point. You know, when she gets her new Abundance path, and they rename her to Phoenix. It's totally gonna happen, I swear... But if it really does... I am never going to stop screaming about how I called it. Like, c'mon, they went with BIREFLY for her bird instead of FIREBIRD. What possible reason would they be THAT blind except to not spoil what they know is coming? Let me have this one, Mihoyo.

...and then she somehow ruins her dress in Phoenix. That's going to need a new explanation.

Original line:

You pull your eyes away from Firefly’s radiant face and realize that her wedding gown is smudged with grease and oil, and the train has partially torn off. “Ah… Oops,” Firefly says. “I guess it was still a little dirty in there from the work you guys did. Well, not like I need it anymore, right?”

Replacement:

You pull your eyes away from Firefly’s radiant face and realize that her wedding gown is tattered and the train has partially torn off. “Ah… Oops,” Firefly says. “I guess all that material didn’t quite fit inside. Well, not like I need it anymore, right?”

Another one that won't work with knowing the SH love her:

On your way back to the passenger car, Firefly clings to your arm, “This is so incredible. I can’t believe… I never thought I would fit in with anyone again. Not since I lost my people.”

Replacement:

On your way back to the passenger car, Firefly clings to your arm, “This is so incredible. I never thought I’d feel this welcomed here. I can’t thank them all enough.”

Another symmetry, in Part 4 Chapter 2, for Stelle:

They gave you this power. They forced this power on you, each for their own ends. But now it is yours.

and in Part 4 Chapter 22, Firefly:

They gave me that power to use me. Now they’re gone and it’s mine.

“War… dance?” you say, face going numb. “It’s a ceremony,” Dan Heng explains. “And a tournament, meant to honor the soldiers of the Hunt and pray for victory over their… enemies…” All eyes turn to stare at you. “Ah… heh… yay,” you cheer limply.

I wrote this so long ago and I'm still suffering about it ;_; I hate being here.

But… there are moments when it almost seems like this feeling of love is enough to make a light in the darkness of space. Maybe that's just silly romanticism.

Oh, that's where the line is that I was thinking of. Still, exact same idea as the one in Part 2.

Okay, Part 4 done! I guess I'll throw in just a couple notes on 4.5 too, but I don't wanna talk about it too much 'cause that's embarrassing.

Really just a couple things. First is that this line

You were never meant to be loved. You’d been so scared the first time: What if they’d edited the ability to feel physical pleasure out of your genome entirely? What if you could never share that with her? What if you were, as usual, defective?

was an idea I considered actually going with (and I'd have Stelle figure out something that did work), but I thought, you know what, maybe I don't need to make Firefly suffer even more. So I didn't.

The other thing is that I really didn't mean to make Stelle so ace-coded, but like, I am, probably more so than her. I guess I couldn't help it, so here we are with lines like

Sex is overrated. This right here is as good as you can possibly feel.

And that's also why all of it is so heavily focused on feelings rather than specific actions. It's the only way I can write it.

Alright. Tomorrow onto reviewing the newest part.

[inactive-luv]

The Absence of Rain

The Absence of Rain

"the absence of rain is when good things are most present."

the absence of rain

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N meets a stranger in the rain

Pairing: (Spencer Reid x Autistic!Fem!Reader)

Details: I hope I did my best to convey proper Autistic traits; my ASD is not the same as the readers' character, the same way no one's ASD or Autism is the same.

Category: fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Autism

A/N: I decided to make the reader Autistic. This was originally just a short story I made in English lit class my senior year, but upon rereading it, I decided to use the same prompt to write this fic

...

It's two in the morning. The Virginian rain drizzles as it has for the past two days without stop. She loved the rain, even if it was a sign of sadness or sorrow. She misunderstood it when people said the absence of rain was when good things happened. Until tonight when the theory was proven very, very true.

...

She walked from her job down to the bus stop at two in the morning when it started to rain harder than the usual drizzle from earlier in the evening. She spent time analyzing the splashing of droplets, echoing in her head after a long day. Her head raised to watch the water slap against the glass roof above her.

She stayed like that for a while, soothed after a stressful day by the calming aspects of the rain. She was watching and waiting, sitting in her bus stop seat. Her hands folded in each other to scratch lightly at her fingers, bundles of nerves across her skin aching to be touched.

She wants to stay here forever and quietly wishes for a late bus before her peace is interrupted when she sees a dark figure move across the station bridge. Her face turns puzzled, trying to analyze the new person in her space.

He looks tall from a distance. That's the first thing she notices about his body before she investigates further. She thinks about his satchel bag and his converse shoes, how he holds his umbrella in his right hand, and a book in his left. She can't make out the cover, but it must be pretty slim from how fast he blows through it.

She thinks about what would happen if he would walk over to her. She's seen him only a few seconds, yet she feels drawn or compelled to wonder further. He steps to his side, adjusting his stance, and his face falls under the light of the bus station for a second.

His jawline, eyes, lips, and everything about him leaps out immediately, catching even more of her attention. He must have felt her gaze over him, like an ocean wave crashing over a beach. A certain persistence to discover makes her eyes stay glued to the dark figure.

He swallows his lips before turning to see if she was maybe looking at someone else. He expected it. He expected not to be expected of. So when her eyes stayed fixated on him, he was a little curious. And during this time, all she can think about is if he came closer. Suppose he could turn to her so she could find the thing. The thing about him that made him so compelling.

And he does it. He starts to walk over with his book in one hand and the other in his pocket. The sounds she once found comfort in faded as he walked up to her, and everything turned to silence. The soft patter of the rain, once saturated and abstract ringing through her head, turned pale and hushed.

He watches how her eyes still stay attached to him, almost obsessively. A silence fills the space between the two before he breaks it so haphazardly, she can't help but shudder a little.

"Excuse me?" So she turns her head and is met looking up to the dark figure. He's much taller now that he's closer to her, and his hair is long. Long hair so obviously stretched under the rain, with soft curls ever so innocently framing his face.

He doesn't know what to say after that. He couldn't make out exactly who she was or who he was even expecting but, she was beautiful. He finally took notice of the more calming features about her rather than the creepy stare. He saw how her skin glowed, and her lips parted slightly as if in deep thought.

During this time, he notices the silence forming again, and he breaks it once more before he can hear her voice. "Uhm, can I sit?" He murmurs as an excuse he perhaps too eagerly came up with, taking notice of her puzzled expression. "Yeah, here, let me move my bag." Her voice dribbles out of her mouth, laced with an extensive kindness that intrigued him incredibly.

He mumbles a small 'thank you' back while he undoes his umbrella and takes a seat next to her. His head is facing the street now, but he still feels her eyes on him. It takes him a minute to swallow the lump in his throat before he turns to her again, craning his neck to meet her eye-line looking up at him.

His eyes meeting hers makes her pause for a moment before hastily averting her attention from him to anything in her way. The grass peeking through the concrete or the way the rain filled the puddles on the sidewalk.

And just like that, the silence, as well as it faded out, fades back in. The soft sounds of rain climb back through her ears to fill her brain again. Easily and slowly, she listens to the buckling of the stranger's bag, as if he was trying to make an as little sound as possible not to annoy her. But the sound doesn't upset her. It calms her.

It intertwines with the rain in a calming way. Everything blends smoother than she expected. She expected sounds to scare her as much as they usually do meeting a stranger, but the sound of his skin against the leather, and the pitter-patter of the rain, calm her.

So she's at peace when he breaks the silence once more. Although now, his words don't break the silence as much as they seep into the silent sounds, merging to form a tranquil melody. She realizes she could get used to his voice.

"Where are you coming from at," He looks down at his watch, over his sleeve for convenience, a trick she notices because she does the same thing, "two in the morning?" His tone acts as if he made most of his living in the night; the calmness, even in such an abundant presence of darkness, leads her to believe he'd done this a million times.

"I lost track of time in the library." He smiles again, "I thought only I did that." She smiles back at him and feels her cheeks start to swell and pink. He listens to her words; there weren't any libraries open this late at night he of all people should have known that.

He contemplates asking; further, he really wants to. He wants to listen to her voice again and again over and over because, unlike anyone else's, he thinks he'll never get tired of it. But he doesn't pester; he waits, hoping she'd further the conversation herself.

Little does he know she's thinking the same thing. She was thinking about every question he's asked and every question she wants to ask him. But he was a stranger even if she hoped he wasn't for much longer.

It takes a lot of strength for her to continue the conversation but noticing his peaked interest, her tone of voice heightens, "I was working at the university, that's why I was out so late." His questions are answered and followed by more, "Really? What do you do?" he wanted to know everything about the mysterious girl at the bus stop, and she was willing to answer every one of his asks.

"I help my friend who's a professor there, but I'm a medical examiner." His eyes light up, "Really? That's cool." He tries to keep his voice calm, but it trickles out so quickly, and this time she can catch his investment, and it gets easier to talk to him as if she'd known him a hundred years.

"I look at dead bodies all day. You think that's cool?"

"Well, to be fair, so do I,"

"Oh! Are you a serial killer?" Her best shot at sarcasm was successful, he laughed.

Like a modern orchestra erupting into its triumphant climax, the rain, the air, his laugh soothes her ears until she's blessing the world for her ability to hear. It's a kind of sound that reverberates in her mind and stores itself to her happiest emotion.

A type of sound she wants to hear for the rest of her life, but sadly, all of this excitement at once becomes too much too quickly, and her smile slightly fades while his head is turned.

She didn't have too much trouble with sound, so her anxiety heightened slightly when she became overwhelmed. A type of overwhelmed he could sense before he tried to lighten her mood. "No, I just catch them," He turns to reach into his bag, swiftly pulling his federal badge out and showing it to her.

She reads his badge quietly, "Doctor Spencer Reid." That's the first time she learns his name. A doctor working with the FBI. She reciprocates his actions and reaches into her pocket to pull out a card. On it, her name and medical license. "Doctor Y/N Y/L/N." A doctor working in a hospital.

"I'm in medicine. What about you?" Spencer clears his throat and holds up three fingers in one hand, clutching the card tightly in his other. "Chemistry, mathematics, and engineering." Her eyes widen, and her mouth forms a small 'o'; he just twists his face as if he was used to that answer.

And then, abnormally sudden, the rain started to let up, proving good things do happen in the absence of rain.

...

[sticksbatnix]

That Good Ol’ Toxin

It started with small groups of people.

Inconvenient people, even.

Criminals fell to the ground, running out in random directions, and they wouldn't stop screaming.

Barbara wouldn't lie, a sense of familiarity came over her as she watched a man scream out in fear over the smallest of things.

It was even harder to realize it came from a man that Barbara least expected to act like.

“Ira Billings aka The Spellbinder, we found him when he threw himself into traffic. When my men caught him, all he could do was scream to be forgiven until he passed out. His hands were broken, self-inflicted, it's a miracle the hospital managed to put them back in place.”

The older woman stepped forward, and through the see-through glass, she saw the restrained man struggle within the room. The criminal was on the bed, turning side to side furiously as he cried in any direction he looked at. His voice was raw through his excessive screaming so all he could do was groan.

Sedatives could only do so much.

From the darkness, a figure appeared yet Barbara didn't flinch at all. She gave a knowing look through the reflection before looking right back at the man.

“Has he said anything, “the vigilante asked.

“Not that we could make out of. One moment he would cry for forgiveness and the other he would just burst out in tears. You can go ahead and try to see why he's the way he is, but I’ve figured out a reason why.”

“Old man does as well.”

Judging by the look the teen showed, the commissioner knew who else was listening.

“You think for fifty years, I wouldn't have to hear that name all over again?”

“You don't think that it's a copycat?”

“No, I know a copycat when I see one. This isn't a copycat, it’s too...familiar to be one. Copycats usually have their style, this one doesn't, they just strike against a specific group of people.”

She noticed the man take a moment of rest, starting mindlessly into space with no expression at all.

“People who instill fear into others.”

The vigilante looked over as well, watching the man resort to the sudden phase he was in.

The shock he guessed.

“The fear toxin was administered right at his jugular. It's unknown when he was attacked but knowing how long he's been like this I’d say a couple of days ago.”

“That long?”

“It’s stronger now, at least, whoever made it that way.”

“Any reports on who could have done it?”

“Unless you want to fight giants, rabid dogs, and vampires all on your own, be my guest.”

A chuckle, an honest one only stopped by the cruel silence afterward. The teen coughed, staying on his serious persona for more than one person to listen to him.

“You don’t think that anyone related to these events would resurface? Maybe one last try to spread The Scarecrow’s teachings?”

A troubled look overcame Barbara’s face, one of regret and anger. She took a deep breath in and out, finally turning over to look at the bat face-to-face.

“There is someone you can see, but I'm not so sure they’d be willing to talk.”

“Where are they?”

“They used to be held in Arkham before it closed down, they moved over to another facility before being rehabilitated. I haven't seen them in decades, but I know they live somewhere in the suburbs with their son.”

“What’s their name?”

From the outskirts of Neo-Gotham, an old man sat perched on his chair, looking over a case file from beneath his luscious home. He showed no emotion as he typed in on his computer before watching a familiar figure appear on the big screen.

From the outskirts of his cave, a plague doctor’s mask sat idly by a dark cape and hat behind a glass tomb.

“Corvus.”

[dspd]

ypu can thank @sokka-with-his-hair-down for the following word vomit with a lil jinzula content

just saw a jinzula reference and now I'm thinking about Azula being released from Fire Nation's version of a psych ward and going to get rehabilitated with Iroh in Ba Sing Se and Jin just being a cutie and helping the heck outta her until Azula is like...oh no I have feelings for a pleb what do I dooooo????

-----

okay so like...after the comet Azula's held in luxury as doctors try to help her. Zuko visits every day, staying as long as a young ruler can, only leaving on the bad days when she's starts to lose control, her guards handlers hurrying away when items go flying or her face twists in rage, screaming familiar insults fed by fear and the ghost of Ozai's upbringing. Eventually she regains some balance, Zuko's unwavering support and the calming repetition of her now hobby, tea making, the rocks that she clings to when she feels herself slipping. She quickly learns the palace holds too many triggers as she's allowed to venture beyond her suite, two guards following too close behind as she wanders the halls. She feels lost, more like an intruder in this remodeled building that somehow stills rakes her over and leaves her soul bleeding.

She walks past the pond Zuko and Mother loved and tears up when she sees the turtle ducks have returned. It's a tiny feeling but she can't control herself and turns away.

She wanders down a servant's corridor and remembers the one time she sat on Zuko, snapping sparks into his face and mocking him, repeating words Ozai had said to her, a raw, primal delightful power coursing through her, then a nugget of guilt growing when he begins to cry only to be crushed under defensiveness when Mother gathers him up, wiping his tears away...and ignores her again. She trembles and walks past quickly with a stiff legged gait, unwilling to run away yet unable to stay.

She tries not to think about whether the guards saw the tremor or whether she could look back and see contempt in their eyes.

She reaches the main doors to the Royal Hall and gasps when she remembers Mother's disappearance, Zuko's absence as he healed, then his banishment, all while Ozai tryna that gaze on her and built her up again, giving her more and more responsibility. She isn't sure if it's the remembered pride or the following memories of hiding in her bed and fear of failure that starts it but all of a sudden she's can't breathe and she's gasping, hanging onto the wall, trying to push it back, pull it inside and lock it away again and Zuko's pulling the door open, drawn by the shouting in that stupid, idiotic way of his instead of letting the guards handle it and he's pulling her in to a soft embrace that burns.

She's shuddering and sobbing and she knows it's bad because she can feel the rough fabric of Zuko's royal robes against her fingers as she clutches him, face pressed into his chest as she tries to cram her stupid, idiotic weakness into a tiny corner in the back of her head like Ozai taught her befits a royal. It doesn't work and she's overcome with the new crashing wave of frustration over her lack of control.

It's only when she feels the cool spread of that stupid bitch Katara's healing along her shoulders and neck that she manages to claw back into a semblance of who she needs to be. Those stupid hands with their stupid water bending pull her into the darkness of deep water, the overwhelming feelings floating on the surface she's sinking away from.

She's not deep enough, not numb enough, to miss the repulsive feeling when she finally looks at the guards and sees nothing but pity in the guards eyes.

So when Zuko, in that stupid, weak way of his, gently suggests she move away she's nauseatingly glad and shamefully hurt, little internal dragons that swoop and chase each other, nipping away until she's not sure of anything. She can hear him talking but it's a distant thing. She's too busy fighting the little voice in her head saying she's being abandoned again.

She wants to say it sounds like Father so she can dismiss it like she's been practicing, but it sounds too much like Mother.

Mother never lied so it must be true.

The move happens so fast that it feels like she blinks and she's standing at the entrance of Iroh's new home in the stupid city of lemming, Ba Sing Se. It’s cooler, She's kind of afraid in a new way. Mostly, she's tired.

So, so tired of being like this.

She's angry with herself next when Iroh gives her a critical glance and a tentative smile before taking her hands and welcoming her. She can't stop feeling things and even his words about starting over and reassures her that he's here for her and that he's sorry, that he feels like he abandoned her and he wants her to know that he never chose Zuko over her and he loves her very much...

That little voice changes into Zuko and Father and Ty Lee and Mai whispers to her and twists the meaning and she knows it's wrong but she's so tired of fighting it.

So she sighs and tries to smile and accepts his tea and hand holding and changes the subject.

When she finds out she'll be helping at his tea shop, she doesn't have the energy to be outraged that she, the stupid heir apparent of the Fire Nation, will be taking orders and delivering stupid, poorly brewed tea.

It's full and aggravating but she practices holding all that in. The nightmares slow, Zuko's letters reassure her, and she learns how to handle minor annoyances. She's mature enough to acknowledge she never learned how to handle them correctly the first time, something that makes her grin to herself in a moment of wry happiness. It's a bittersweet feeling and she's tired of feeling but still...it's new and exhilarating and she feels a bubble of hope in her chest.

In Ba Sing Se, she's nobody. It's oddly freeing to be Mr. Mushi's niece and her new name is nice in an unfamiliar way. She won't admit it but she likes the way the repeat customers act with her. They aren't afraid to joke with her or share a concern. A couple younger ones flirt with her and, as she peeks out from the bangs she's growing out, she's pleased it's friendly and without the teeth she came to expect from Father's generals who disagreed with her expanding military duties.

°°°

Early on, after moving in with Iroh, Azula was still prickly and unbalanced and bored out of her mind at the dull, repetitive lifestyle.

There's a quiet girl that comes in sometimes. She's soft-spoken, with a kind smile, but full of life at the same time. Azula remembers the first time she came in, greeting Iroh with a wide smile and talking to him like she's his niece, not Azula. Azula dismisses her with a sniff, turning to help another table but when Iroh sits down and shares a it with the girl, Azula can't help but sidle closer, ears straining to overhear. The girl - Jin, she later learns - had been a customer before when Iroh and Zuko had come to Ba Sing Se as refugees. No one can be so interested in her failure of an uncle so she grabs a broom and sweeps closer. When Jin asks after someone named Lee, Azula loses interest.

The girl is just another stupid commoner, obsessed with boys or whatever. Nothing interesting.

By Agni, she's so bored.

A few days later the girl returns, carrying a box filled with the local excuse of food and Azula buries her sneer of displeasure when Iroh pulls his apron off in a hurry, sliding into the booth, bald spot almost outshining like the girl's eyes.

Azula realizes she's been staring into the stupid girl's eyes and looks away. Her scowl grows as a stupid grandpa comes in with muddy shoes, ruining the floor she just finished cleaning. She stares at the tracks, hopelessness trapping her in place. The stupid grandpa doesn't even notice as he finds a seat and the hopelessness sours into bitterness.

Of course.

She's a failure, too.

A prickle between her shoulder blades warns he and she looks up. Right into Failure Iroh's stupid commoner girlfriend's gaze. They lock eyes and Azula struggles to hold it. Even if she can't be what Father raised her to be, she won't lose to this stupid smiley girl.

She can't stand it, that peculiar sensation of being watched, so she looks away. Failure Azula. Just like Iroh and Zuko and Mother. She glances back, bracing herself for the inevitable stupid judgemental look but the girl is smiling shyly at her and walking up, introducing herself and so friendly and stupidly nice. Azula's anger is simmering but she's confused and why would this girl be so nice to a stranger????

So, like her failures for family members, Azula flees.

It's not exactly an auspicious start, and Azula knows she's spiralling when she spends twenty minutes interrogating Iroh that night. What did her tell the stupid commoner? Did he ask her to approach? What does she want?

Iroh's calm at first but as Azula's voice rises and she pulls at her hair to feel something other than panic and keeps asking again and again his stupid face changes. She realizes with a start that he's seeing her for real. The rotten core of her that she's managed to hide away from even Zuko. The part of her that drove Mother away. It's written all over his stupid face.

Azula can't sit still anymore. She jumps up and is out the window in moments, shimmying down the wall and disappearing. She runs quietly, keeping to shadowy streets and inky black alleys. She's lost by the time the frenetic energy seeps out of her body, a stitch in her side forcing her to pause at a fountain for a stretch and drink.

Azula stretches out on the lip of the fountain, staring up at the stars. She used to hate the night sky. It's a visible, inevitable reminder of the Fire Nation's weakness. Her weakness. Every day, as the sun sinks below the horizon, Azula feels the fizzle of her bending wane, that hot space below and to the left of her heart cooling from hot, blue flames to red-orange fingers. It's barely more than embers in the Earth Kingdom as the days grow cooler and Azula's not sure how to feel about it.

There's a step across the courtyard and Azula's slipping down into the shadows again as two stupid lemmings approach. One is holding a torch while the other swings empty buckets. Azula frowns. Somehow the cheerfulness isn't as grading as usual. Their voices are soft in the quiet.

Azula closes her eyes and wonders if she'll ever feel half as content and comfortable as the air these two exude. There's the sound of splashes on the other side of the fountain.

One of the girls sighs. "I wish we could look at the lanterns tonight."

Only years of training lock Azula in place. It's Iroh's stupid commoner girlfriend.

The other girl laughs. "You know they're only lot for festivals, Jin."

"Except that one time," Iroh's stu- Jin replies, "I still can't believe Lee lit them."

Azula can almost smell the stupid happiness from the memory.

"Yeah, yeah. You have wierd luck with dates, I get it. Hurry up.and grab the other bucket! We still have to come back for more."

Based on the sounds, Azula can picture them struggling back the way they came.

Something makes her pause at the edge of the courtyard before leaving. She hesitates. But then she can hear the duo approaching again and she makes up her mind.

She pretends she doesn't stay long enough to hear the gasps of surprise before she hightails it out of there.

The feeling of elation that fills her chest and slides down her arms reminds her of the day she stood on the deck of a war balloon for the first time.

---

so...yeah...I wasn't planning any of this so idk where it goes but in the end Azula eventually has it bad and idk maybe Mai and Ty Lee come to visit, tentatively open to trying to be friends for real this time and, after seeing Azula's interest, Ty Lee wheedles Jin's story out of Iroh near the end of their visit. Mai's holding her face with an I can't believe this is happening expression, Iroh is concentrating too hard on his tea pot, and Azula's face is red as Ty Lee chokes out that of course Azula and Zuko would have the same taste in women.

And maybe the next day, when Jin slips her hand into Azula's while they wave goodbye, Azula looks at Jin who catches the look and smiles that smile she hated so much at first and Azula has the revelation of her life

[nin-deer]

ahhh true true thats fair

a;ldkfjasl;dkj sorry it got a little too long and i dont want ppl to scroll too much so putting it under the cut

i said that last point in an ideal world where aqua separates his past life with this one. Because we know the context of the story, we know that they're not just aqua and ruby, but also gorou and sarina. to others, tho, they're just aqua and ruby. that's the perspective i'm trying to use.

when i said that aqua shouldn't go along with ruby's fantasies, i meant that he should have realized that he's not in a situation where he can treat her like sarina anymore. a doctor-patient relationship is very much different from a sibling relationship, especially if the patient was terminally-ill. this whole situation stems from them not realizing that they're family now, since the whole Ai and revenge thing took the forefront. true, what he would do would hurt sarina, but ruby needs to know that what she's doing is not okay. no one told her because people just thinks they're both weirdly obsessed with each other, like bro/sis-cons, which tends to get heavily exaggerated in media. (what ruby and aqua are doing, from an outsider's perspective, is an example of what they would see in a story, so it doesn't really cross their mind that something else is going on. or maybe they're not really taking it seriously for plot reasons, idk) only aqua knows the truth of the situation, so he has to be the one to break it to her. if anything, aqua is the perfect person to to do so because it's going to hurt her. she might not believe it if it was being told from anyone else. but from her dear doctor?

yeah, it's gonna hurt. there's nothing really to do about it. but if they want to keep living as ruby and aqua, aqua has to be the "adult" and speak up about it. the aqua and ruby we see now are just personas being acted by gorou and sarina, living their "perfect" life as the children of their favorite idol. (perfect in quotes because, well, their mom is kinda dead. so not quite as perfect, but they're working on that through their revenge plots.)

the thing about the murder-suicide plan is a good point though. it showcases that aqua knows what he's doing and knows its going to affect the people around them. the "gorou" part of his brain is making him feel guilty, and we also see that when he lets ruby act how she wants. (the actual kiss scene in the documentary is iffy because its for the revenge; would he have said something about it? or would he let it go for the sake of his plan?) ruby? she doesn't really feel any remorse. this second chance of life she has is letting her do whatever she wants, so of course she's going to do just that. she didn't have any good role models either, especially since she looked up to ai. (as much as I love ai, her behavior wasn't the healthiest. she couldn't even tell her kids she loved them until she died because of how the idol industry changed her personality. all the lies kept building up, and it was hard for her to distinguish between them and the truth) ruby always wants to be like her mom, and when she broke, her revenge utilized these lies in a harmful way, which we can see with how she manipulated the manager guy back when she first found out.

it's all about maturity, in my eyes. while aqua is mature enough to realize what he's doing is wrong and harmful, i don't think ruby quite gets that yet. because of this, she does things that people normally wouldn't do, like *glances at the chapter* you know. telling your brother you love him in a not so platonic way and then kissing him.

she sees aqua as gorou and not aqua, and no one is telling her otherwise because no one knows. for this to not get worse, aqua needs to step up and say something, even if it will hurt her. he has to talk to her as aqua and ruby, not gorou and sarina. aqua keeps thinking "he" will be socially dead, not really realizing that ruby is going to be as well. both of them are going to be socially dead if this keeps going on, and i don't think ruby's going to take that first step in addressing the situation.

Ch 143

i mean i think we all knew deep down the kiss was gonna happen based on the flow of the story but i think this chap reveals a lot about gorou and sarina

(uh warning this got a little out of hand so its pretty long lmao)

so.

i dont think anyone's completely in the wrong, but i definitely don't think they're in the right either. (not that i condone incest; its just that their motivations led them to this specific point. would the story have been fine without it? hell yeah. please i actually prefer it that way. but this is the direction the author decided to take it, so we have to take it as it is as a point of learning more about the character's motivations)

Let's first analyze sarina and gorou's relationship pre-reincarnation. I think I covered this in my last post where I rambled about onk, but gorou is doing a doctor thing where he "accepts" sarina's proposal just to make her happy. We learn in this new chapter that he basically catered to her every request, and that's what started that infatuation. we know from previous chapters that her bio family's shitty, so the only place she would get this love is from gorou. we also learn in this chapter that it's not actually a romantic love but a fanatic love, for lack of better terms. she sees him as her idol. does sarina even know what it feels to be romantically in love with someone? she spent her whole first life in a hospital, isolated from others her age. she spent her second life very curated and protected because of her mom and her future career; she couldn't really live a normal life. (we'll get back to this point later) all she knows about love is through her idols, so she's channeling it into (what she thinks is) romantic love for gorou.

gorou, on the other side of this, is an actual adult who had an actual life before all this, so he knows what a normal life is like. assuming sarina is one of his first patients, its obvious to see that he got attached, which is a very risky situation for scenarios like this. we see this attachment made her death worse, as he threw himself into following Ai to cope for her death. not gonna go too in depth about this here because, again, i made another post for this that i'll probably link at the end bc im referencing it more than i thought... continuing! he knows sarina doesnt have long left so he wants to do what he can for her, thus creating that "idol" persona sarina has for him.

we see in his regret in this new chap that he actually knows what he's doing and is aware of the consequences of his actions. ruby doesn't. she doesn't regret anything. as someone who reads a lot of isekai/reincarnation stories, its easy to joke that ruby and aqua are their old age + their new age, but that isn't necessarily true for ruby. sure, aqua is old and this could apply to him. but ruby? she didn't make it past 18 before she died. she's like,,, 13 times 2. double 13. she never fully developed in her first life, and she's developing in this current life. it's like a continue from where she left off. aqua actually was an adult, so he has all the knowledge and wisdom of an adult. why does this matter? shift your attention back to the concept of love for a bit. aqua knows what she's doing is bad and is trying to stop her, but the knowledge that she's sarina is making him automatically succumb to her wishes. a part of his brain, because of the trauma, still sees ruby as the sickly sarina he was caring for.

ruby is naïve. she doesnt know what love is. all the love she's ever been exposed to is whatever she saw online: idols. i dont even think she fully knows what the concept of family is. aqua is her brother? nope. aqua is the doctor she proposed to and now she has a chance to follow through like all the shows she's seen. she's closer than ever to him, so why give up the chance? even as ruby, she wasn't exposed to a lot of normalcy because of idol culture. she isn't able to learn about the difference between platonic love and fanatic love. we even see this with ai, who she sees more as an idol than her mom. the joy is in her idol being her mom, someone who's supposed to care for her. it's like shes living a fantasy made just for her. because aqua was so obsessed w revenge, he didn't have the chance to teach her anything, and it's not like he needed to learn bc he already knows. ruby doesn't.

aqua, as the one who understands these nuances, should have sat her down and explained things, but he didn't because of the trauma of sarina. ruby is ignorant and is treating things like a tv drama, now that her dreams as sarina can finally become true. aqua doesn't realize how serious ruby is about this because in his mind this is just a child playing house. ruby is like,,,, imagine you die and you wake up actually being sold to one direction. or whatever happens to you in your fav self-insert scenario/fanfic. idk a better analogy lmao but its like finally being able to play out your fantasies irl. she doesn't realize the real world impacts of her actions because, frankly, she doesn't care. she gets to live out her life as she wants. aqua was shocked after the first kiss with ruby because he realized then she was being serious, but he didn't speak out about it because, again, the trauma™. (we see him again uncomfy with the whole situation in the next page, but his lack of objection could be bc it's a scene in the documentary and he finds it more important to get revenge rn) ruby kissed him then because she purposefully created the mood like that so it would fit in the story she was writing in her mind.

so what does this mean? because of their shared pasts, aqua and ruby are put in this situation where ruby can do what she wants and aqua goes along with it. even if he knows its morally wrong, he can't bring himself to break ruby's immersion in all of this. BUT. big but. aqua shouldn't act like this. they're both capable of living out their lives as normal (barring the revenge and the whole idol stuff). he doesn't need to act like this anymore; ruby's not terminally ill. he's not a doctor. what he should have done was firmly deny her stuff he knows is wrong because then he can educate her about the reason why. as much as their personalities are inspired by their past lives, sarina and gorou are dead. they need to move on and live a aqua and ruby. (Harsh, I know, but because of this scenes like *gestures vaguely to the newest two chapters* happens. if aqua stood his ground and taught ruby about familial love and that what she's feeling is probably not romantic, i think this could have been avoided. but alas, we need it for the ~drama~)

-

sorry that went on way longer than i thought lmao. i think i covered everything i wanted to say but im too lazy to read back so fingers crossed

if you made it this far and are curious about the other post i mentioned in the beginning, its here. i just think its some context to my thought process but not necessary to understand this post

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #11

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

[AO3]

*edited so the images are better

"... At least until we can get you to your room. You need to wake up before they ring the bell."

'What's goin' on..?' Why was my shoulder shaking?

"Is Mori okay?”

The sound of my nickname snapped me into consciousness. I pushed myself up and hummed in question. When I opened my eyes it took me a moment to adjust to the bright light. Everyone was standing in front of a gate.

"Did you sleep well?"

Why did this world have three suns? Wait. Two were Sinbad's eyes. That checks out.

I nodded with another hum. I wasn't able to form words yet, and even if I could I would have lost access from waking up to such a beautiful sight.

I missed his response since I was still half asleep, but I did hear Ja'far repeating his words from earlier.

"Please, try to stay awake for a little while. When we step through, they will ring the bell to announce Sin's arrival home. We didn't want you waking up from the shock."

I had to repeat his words in my mind to hold onto them.

"Oh. Thank you for waking me."

Even with their best efforts I didn't have enough time to get clear headed before the bell was rang to announce the return of the King. I ended up jolting anyway.

I was glad to still be on Aladdin's flying turban. I couldn't focus if my life depended on it. I had some energy since I had just been resting and I was still mostly numb from sleep so my aches and pains weren't affecting me yet. After being sick for so long, I was in serious need of serotonin, so I couldn't shake the waves of excitement building in me as I realized I really was in Sinbad's Palace. It's one thing to read about something and another to actually experience it. I knew I had said I would see a doctor as soon as I arrived, but I couldn't stop myself from going into full geek mode and just wanting to look around.

In other words, I was a weak, energetic, space cadet without a filter -prime condition to make an idiot and/or nuisance of myself- if I couldn't find something to force me to "sober" up and start masking.

---

~POV Sin~

Horns announced the King's return to his Palace as the group walked through its gate. Many of the guards and civil servants present gave their welcome. The looks of awe on his guests' faces as they walked through the entrance to the court yard boosted Sinbad's already large ego.

Alibaba's and Aladdin's excitement had started to wane after walking so long, but Mori had the same look she wore when she first got on the ship. Now that Sinbad had seen her like that before, he knew better than to try to engage her in something she wasn't already thinking about. It was a lot like dealing with Yamuraiha after the magicians made a breakthrough. But that didn't mean he wouldn't still try to tease her if he had the opportunity; he'd just have to try a different method.

It was a bit of a relief to see Mori so energetic after the previous night. He would still have the doctors sent to her asap though.

Given how important his guests were, Sinbad decided to escort them, himself, to the Green Sagittarius Tower. Placing the 3 kids in the guest tower was a given since they hadn't agreed to any partnerships yet. The Purple Leo Tower was where Sinbad and his most trusted lived; as much as he wanted to move Mori in there with them immediately, Sinbad knew it would be better to wait until the others learned to trust her, so his Prophet was going to have to stay in the Green Sagittarius Tower for now. This would also give them more time to prepare her permanent room.

Ja'far raised his voice slightly to get all of the guests' attention as he explained a little about the Tower. Masrur took his cue to leave. The Fanalis raised his hand in a half hearted wave as he turned away from the group and started to walk away. The King watched one General leave as he heard the other lead his guests into the Tower.

It was his time to head off too. The rest of his Generals that had been left at home would be showing up to greet him -there was a lot to catch up on. As Sinbad had started to leave, the waves encouraged him to look back at the guest tower. Mori was standing watching him instead of following Ja'far. She had her bag in her arms instead of on her back.

"Is something wrong?"

"I know I should go rest and wait for a doctor, but," she looked at him with an odd expression -like she was seeing through him, "the waves keep pointing me that way." She pointed at the direction he was going.

She was right. The waves would have her follow him

instead of Ja'far.

"It's Drakon!" Mori gasped and her eyes grew. She gave a small laugh to herself. "The first Household Member is the first to show up."

Sure enough, the only member of Sinbad's Household that had fully assimilated with his Djinn's power had entered the court yard.

If she had this much energy and the waves wanted her out here then it should be fine. "Would you like to meet him now?"

Mori looked up at him shocked and expectant. "Is that okay???” It was like he was the center of her world in that moment.

"As long as you feel up to it." This was a good feeling.

She squeezed her bag in her arms. Mori seemed to become like a clingy child when she was unwell. If he had told her to go rest would she have begged him to stay and clung to him like she had before?

Her eyes grew determined. "I will have energy for about an hour. I'll go rest when I start to wear out, and I will ask for help if I need it -you don't have to remind me." Was she this direct because she was sick?

Drakon's deep voice came from behind Sinbad. "Welcome home, my friend."

The King turned to face his General. "It's good to be back."

"How did things end in Balbadd? When we heard about you loosing your metal vessels we got a little worried but it looks like you got them back." He laughed at the end. Drakon knew better than most that his King always manages to come out on top no matter what happens to him. He stiffened slightly. "Hmm? Who's this?” The General noticed Mori before Sinbad had a chance to answer his other questions.

Time for introductions then. "Drakon, this is Mori. She's the prophet I told Yam about." The King gestured towards her.

Mori put her bag down and when she stood up she had full composure. She offered a hand to the General. "It's an honor to meet you, Drakon. I read all about you when I read Fate." If Sinbad didn't know any better he would have no idea Mori had nearly died of fever only a few hours ago -she only looked tired. She was much better at acting than he expected. How long could she hide it though?

Drakon looked more dragon than man now making most uneasy around him, yet Mori didn't seem scared of him at all. Was it because she was hiding it or because she had read Fate? Actually, there was a strange glint in her eyes he couldn't place.

"Oh?” Drakon took her up on the handshake she offered. It was rare for someone not to flinch upon seeing him for the first time; Mori was definitely making a good first impression. "I must admit that I'm curious about this ability of yours."

The glint in Mori's eye grew into a full sparkle.

Their handshake didn't sit right with King Sinbad.

When their hands released, Mori put her hands in her pockets like she often did.

"Would you like an example?" Her smile didn't give anything away. "Before you were shipped out to Baal's Dungeon you tried to be noble and charming to Serendine but she responded by talking about how you followed her around 'like a baby duck' when you were little. Then she made you promise not to die." The waves were building around Mori again.

Serendine must have really said that. Drakon might not look human anymore, but Sinbad could still read his friend's expressions plain as day. Drakon was shocked by the first thing she said, and she was only just starting. Mori really was amazing.

"I know! Let me show you what I've got copied down so far" Mori squat down to her bag. She pulled out and opened a scroll, "Yeah. This one." She stood up with the scroll in hand and swayed a bit on the way up -she couldn't hide her condition fully.

Mori stepped between the King and his General, and turned so they were all facing the same direction. She raised the scroll so it would be easier to see. "Honestly, I had some other things to write down before I could start copying down Fate. I didn't start this until getting onto the ship, so please excuse the sloppiness."

Mori's handwriting looked rushed, like she couldn't get all of this out fast enough. Sinbad had barely gotten to start reading before she continued unrolling to reveal a detailed illustration of a family of three.

"That's-!" It was Sinbad and his parents when he was little.

Drakon glanced at his King, "Sin, are those people your parents?"

"Yup." Mori responded without looking up. "He looks a lot like Badrr, doesn't he?"

Back in Balbadd, Mori had said that she had read his life from his birth to his death, but it was different seeing undeniable proof.

She scrolled past more text and past another illustration and didn't stop until she got to a drawing of child Drakon following Serendine just like she had described. Mori continued scrolling through her work, and each image brought on more comments. There was an illustration of Sinbad meeting Yunan which she gratefully skipped past, a few of inside Baal and one from when Sinbad killed the Abare Narwhal in place of-

"Is this one of me? I look so young!!" The Imuchakk towered over all of them.

Mori whipped her head up. "Hinahoho?!" She wobbled from her quick movement. Sinbad placed a hand at her back to steady her; Mori didn't even react to his hand, instead she put all of her weight on it so she could stare up at the man behind them for a moment. That excited smile spread across her face. "Hello! It's nice to meet you. Please call me Mori."

Sinbad had purposefully gestured for Hina to stay quiet when he came up behind them so as not to distract Mori, but this was fine too.

"So this is where you went!" Ja'far came back from getting the three kids settled into their room.

Mori's smile was unwavering as she stood back on her own, unrolled the scroll to the next image and flipped it around for Ja'far to see. "We just got to your entrance. Care to join us?"

"Lady Prophet, I know you slept on your way here, but you were barely able to get off the ship before you had to lay down. Did you forget you're sick??"

Both Generals that had been looking at the scroll murmured questions about Mori's condition while the Prophet said nothing. At least Ja'far's words would have explained who Mori was for Hinahoho.

Ja'far's eyes wandered to the scroll in Mori's hands; his shoulders jolted when he realized what he was looking at. "Is that me??” He stepped closer to get a better look. After studying the image he looked up at the person holding it. "Did you make this?"

"Yes and yes."

The Prophet and the youngest General present watched each other for an opening.

Mori broke their silence. "I will go rest when I finish showing this scroll. We are almost done anyway."

Ja'far sighed. "Fine." He walked up next to Sinbad to join the group. Even if he tried to deny it, he couldn't fully hide his interest. "What is this scroll you've made?"

Mori turned

the scroll back around so the rest were able to see an image of when Ja'far attacked Sinbad in his sleep back when he was still an assassin. "Since I'm Sindria's Prophet now, I am copying down Fate so it will be easier to keep in order than thinking about it. This is just a draft though. After I have everything written down I'll go back and make it better."

That explanation was perfectly timed as two more Generals had join the group from behind -not that Mori seemed to notice.

Next was an image of Hina in a cave being surrounded by insects.

"Hold on. I never told anyone about that."

Mori stopped scrolling at Hinahoho's comment.

"What is this?" Sinbad asked his General.

But it was Mori who answered. "When Hinahoho first entered Valefor's Dungeon he was swarmed by Blooderflies."

"'Blooderflies?'" All six repeated back at her.

"Butterflies that drink blood," she explained confidently. When none of them responded she tensed. Sinbad could see her turn a little pink as she said to herself, "I thought it was a clever name."

"I think it's hilarious!" Pisiti said before breaking into giggles.

Mori jolted, "It's Pisti this time!" and started to look around for the source of the voice. She spotted the Artemyran that was shorter than herself and the man standing behind her. "And Sharkkan!”

Sinbad could see Yamuraiha and Spartos in the distance. As soon as they were all introduced he'd have Mori head to bed -end of the scroll or not; the waves from earlier would be reaching their peak soon and she had almost fell over twice already. Of course, he wouldn't mind catching her again, but he didn't want her pushing herself in her current condition.

The cocky prince had his hands on his hips. "Are you really a Prophet or our biggest fan?"

"Maybe I'm both," Mori answered with a smile. Her face was a little red.

Was she flirting with Sharkkan??

"That so?" Sharkkan smirked and leaned between Drakon and Hinahoho to get a closer look at her. "When they said there was a real prophet I was expecting some old hag, not a cutie like you."

Mori's eyes dilated and she gave a small gasp. Seeing Mori get embarrassed from compliments was something that Sinbad normally enjoyed, but this time it put a bad taste in his mouth. And did Sharkkan have to get so close to her?

Mori clearly agreed since she attempted to step away from the flirtiest of the Eight Generals. She must have forgotten about her own bag though, as she tripped over it and fell backwards right into Sinbad's arms.

Mori didn't try to stand back up at all. She looked up at the King and after a moment she hid her face behind the scroll she was holding. ”I-I am not a klutz!”

"Oh?" Sinbad smiled down at her. This was much better. "Then did you intentionally fall-”

Mori clapped a hand over his mouth. "No! Shut up! I blame you for this!” She pulled the scroll into her chest, but it unrolled anyway. She was doing a poor job of hiding her enjoyment of his teasing.

He laughed into her hand and she went quiet. Her blush started traveling down her neck since her face couldn't contain it all. This was a much stronger reaction than he normally got from her. He was clearly the only one that could pull such cute expressions out of Mori. Sinbad kissed the palm hiding his lips, and when she pulled it back to herself with an "Ah!" he knew he had to tease her more.

"Are you saying you're really swooning for me then, my Beautiful Prophet?"

"I-!" Mori couldn't bring herself to deny it and pulled the scroll back up to her face. She still wasn't trying to stand on her own or leave his arms.

"That's a good atmosphere."

*Whistles*

"You don't think ...?"

"OH MY-!"

See? No one could seduce a woman better than he could.

Mori finally found her rebuttal. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be surrounded by your waves near constantly??"

He hadn't thought about that. Mori's waves were constantly opening new paths for Fate to flow. They have felt advantageous and that they would help him reach his goals. He wanted to keep her close to see what other changes she would make. And of course he had felt that she was going to live out the rest of her life in Sindria. But what did his waves feel like to her?

She looked up at him as angry as she was embarrassed. "I only slipped on the ramp and just now, and-and fell off of the bowsprit last night, because your waves crashed into me!”

That caught him off guard. "You knew it was me last night?"

"YES!" Mori's voice cracked at the end; she was still recovering so all this talking must have been wearing her out. "You're the only one who's waves feel like this." She broke eye as she got to the end.

Mori could identify him from his waves? There were certain people who's waves stood out to him as well -like hers-, but Sinbad was still not used to anyone else being able to feel the waves. This meant that he had kept quiet for nothing. It also meant that Mori had clung to him knowing who he was -maybe she wouldn't have accepted comfort from just anyone.

Her voice was almost inaudible. "When I realized it was you I was relieved. I've gotten hurt in the past when I was sick because I was alone so, ... thank you for taking care of me."

Just like when he had first learned that Mori could feels the waves, he was happy he was already holding her. He wanted to pull her closer like he had last time as well.

Yam let out a gasp while landing.

"WAIT!" Ja'far had been about to cut in to stop their antics anyway, but this was a completely different issue. "Mori, can you feel the waves of Fate like Sin??"

The King and the Prophet both stared at Ja'far for a few moments before answering in unison, "Yes."

((Hey everybody. Pretty sure you can guess why this chapter took so long. I just really wanted to draw so much of this chapter in comic form UwU Also, a bunch of life things got in the way. Now that everything is opening back up I can't work from home anymore. I'm very sensitive to the heat so I have to rest and cool down after each drive which really cuts into the time I have each day. -_-

Ja'far stared in disbelief at his King. "Sin, you knew?? Are you sure?"

With the mood completely ruined Sinbad helped Mori stand up properly. She grabbed his sleeve to keep herself steady and he left his arm around her waist just in case.

All of Sinbad's Generals -sans Masrur who had already left- were watching him. Mori had many abilities that made her extremely valuable, but they also made her a prime target to any of their enemies. The more her value is known the bigger the target on her will be, and Mori wasn't a fighter. Sinbad had already told all of them that Mori was a Prophet since she had already made that skill known to others, and it was something he wanted to use -there was no way he could hide it. His Generals had kept the fact that he could feel the waves a secret this whole time, so they would be able to keep her secret as well.

"Mori can definitely feel the waves of Fate. But you should know it is different from her ability as a prophet." He figured he should clear that up before they asked. Sinbad didn't know how they were different, but he had enough information to know they were.

Mori's voice was a little horse and on the weak side. "Since King Sinbad and Ja'far eavesdropped on my conversation with Aladdin there's no reason to hide it."

The King and his partner in crime froze. SHE KNEW HE HAD SPIED ON HER. Did his waves give him away?

Mori continued, "I can only read the Fates of realities that I am not currently in. It's not the same as different planets; It's a different universe with different rules." She rolled up the scroll while explaining. "The one I came from doesn't have Rukh, magoi, magic, or Djinn, but we did have 1500 to 2000 more years of scientific development compared to this world-" She was cut off by a short coughing fit.

Sinbad looked down at Mori. She was getting worse by the second. It was most likely fever and not embarrassment making her cheeks red in this moment. "It seems I've pushed you too hard while you are still recovering. My apologies." It was time to send the prophet to bed. He pulled at her waist lightly. "Let's get you to your room so you can rest."

Mori shook her head. "I have one more thing I want to say first."

"Fine." If it wasn't for the look in her eyes he would have refused her.

Mori's voice was getting worse so she had to take breaks in her speech. "I don't know what caused me to slip from my reality into this one, but I'm here now ... I fully intend to use my knowledge to help this world... But since I can't read this world's Fates anymore, I don't know how my changes will affect things..." She gripped the scroll like a life line. "As much as I'd like to answer the questions you all must have now... my voice is really starting to hurt, so I'd like to go rest."

Sinbad sighed. "Of course." It was a tough note to leave on, but her health came first. They'd have plenty of time to talk once she was better.

On a side note, I will be drawing Storpas (lol) in the next chapter. Don't worry, I didn't forget him.

It will probably be another 2 weeks or so before I finish the next chapter since I have less time to work on it now.))

[alj4890]

Delicate

(Ethan Ramsey x Olivia Nevarkis) (Olivia Nevarkis x Drake Walker) in a Choices The Royal Romance/Open Heart Crackship Series

A/N Picking up directly after Drake's visit and fallout. This will lead into the Christmas season, with Ethan inviting Olivia to spend the holidays with him and his father.

@jooous ​ ​ @krsnlove ​ @nomadics-stuff ​   @twinkleallnight ​ @motorcitymademadame ​

Masterlist

Part 5

Ethan knew something was wrong. Even without his highly attuned ability to detect the slightest tics and movements people made when dealing with pain, he still would have known that Olivia was upset.

What bothered him was that she felt the need to keep it hidden.

He thought they were well past the stage of not being completely honest. It had been one of the most difficult yet rewarding part of their ever developing relationship. It was terrifying and freeing to be able to tell her anything.

Ethan knew he needed her. He had made it a point to never allow himself to need anyone. He once believed that it was a weakness, something that any sane person should be able to do without. One should be able to stand and face whatever life threw at them without having someone there to help you through it.

Or so he thought until Naveen nearly died.

Then seeing Bryce's reaction when Casey was poisoned.

Those two situations had opened his eyes and made him come to some uncomfortable conclusions about himself.

He was human. And what did all humans share? The ability and need to love...to have someone all their own to be there during life's brightest and darkest moments.

As he finished prepping the turkey breast for tomorrow's dinner, his eyes drifted over to the one he believed was his someone.

He hoped that he had become Olivia's.

"How was your day?"

Olivia shrugged. "Fine for the most part."

Ethan washed his hands then reached for a bottle of wine. Setting two glasses out, he filled them while studying her.

Olivia muttered her thanks when he handed hers to her. She absentmindedly swirled her wine while a slight frown formed.

Ethan reached out and caressed her cheek. When her eyes met his, he allowed her to see his concern.

"Drake came to my apartment earlier." She blurted out.

"He did?" Ethan gestured for them to move into his living room. After settling comfortably on his sofa, he patiently waited for her to continue.

"Yes." She bit out. "He supposedly came on his way to his family's ranch to show me pictures of the progress on the hospital. Her frown eased at that memory. "I can't wait until you see it. It is turning out just like we hoped."

A hint of a smile formed on his lips over this shared dream of theirs coming about. "I can't wait either."

Hearing Ethan say that caused the gnawing worry to grow even more. Was it the beginning of the end for them? Drake's parting words kept repeating over and over her mind. Somehow they seemed more prophetic than insulting the longer she dwelled on them.

"You really think this Ramsey is what you need?" Drake taunted. "One day you'll leave here and he will see the real you in Cordonia. This Boston bubble you're living under is going to pop. What will he do when he sees you as a duchess, mingling amongst the court?"

"You think he'll adore you then? Just wait until he hears all the tales of your years of temper tantrums and cruelty."

"Liv?" Ethan pulled her into his arms. "What happened?"

She didn't want to tell him. She hated this fear Drake had caused in the one area she had come to love. The simple happiness she had found in Boston was now tainted with doubt. He had made her once again hate herself.

Was her act of redemption going to never end? Was she to pay for every word and action she had done for the rest of her life?

Does nothing I do matter?

She closed her eyes tight when Ethan brushed a tender kiss to her furrowed forehead.

I don't deserve someone like him.

His hand rubbed her back in soothing circles while he waited.

Olivia felt tears prick her eyes. He was the only person she had ever known to give her physical comfort. The way he held her as if she was precious to him without trying to turn it into something sexual made her want cry.

She couldn't lose this. Lose him.

But she also couldn't deceive him.

"Ethan," her voice trembled making her hate herself even more for needing him, "You know about my past with Drake."

She felt him tense yet he continued to try and soothe her.

"I do."

She looked up at him and saw his own face etched in worry.

"He...we got into an argument about that and..." It was too hard. She couldn't stand the thought of destroying the way Ethan looked at her. The way he cared for her...

"Olivia," he tried not to let his fear take over of losing her to her former lover, "are you trying to tell me that you..." He couldn't get the words out. He couldn't stand the thought of going back to how his life was before she became a central part of it.

His mind stuttered at that. Medicine had once been his central part. Everything in his adult life had revolved around it. And while it still was a big part of who he was, Olivia had somehow created a niche all her own in that center. Somewhat entwined in it, yet on a personal level, he found that every decision he had made from the moment they met were made about her. From choosing a restaurant she might like to moving to her country to work at her proposed hospital, she had become his life.

Had Drake unknowingly destroyed his life in one brief visit?

"That I what?" She asked.

His blue eyes held her green. "That you want to get back together with Drake?"

Her eyes widened. "Good Lord, no." Her nose wrinkled. "That is the last thing I want."

She felt his arms relax as they cuddled her closer. His forehead dropped against hers as he dealt with the heady relief that her admittance brought.

Realizing he had been scared she was ending things caused a need to reassure him. Her lips met his in a tender kiss. She could feel the deep longing he had for her in his response. He still held her gently as their kiss came to an end.

"What did he say?" Ethan asked.

"He was angry that I don't see the need to keep discussing why our barely a relationship had to end." She bit her lip. "Then he brought up you."

Ethan arched an eyebrow. He had not been around the man enough to form an unbiased opinion. He knew the flare of jealousy was from what he assumed was going to be an attack on his own character in the hopes of stealing Olivia from him.

"What about me?" He didn't bother to hide the annoyance tempering his tone.

"How you'll be when you see me in Cordonia." Olivia averted her eyes. "And how what we have here will be completely destroyed."

His eyes narrowed at such a choice of words. "Why would it be destroyed?"

"Ethan, you," she lowered her head into her hands for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she forced the words out. "You know some of my past already. You've witnessed my temper. But I...I used to be cruel. I've changed these last few years, and it has helped heal relationships I have with some members of the court." She looked up at him to see how he was reacting. "But Drake believes once you hear their stories and see me as the prideful duchess that you will not want to be with me."

"First off," Ethan snapped, "he doesn't know a damn thing about me or how I feel about you. From what I know of you, you deserve to walk into every ballroom with your head held high." He snorted in irritation. "They should be begging for your attention."

Olivia briefly smiled at that. Only he could turn one of her faults into a compliment.

"Secondly, I haven't been known to be the kindest doctor to work with."

"Your patients would disagree."

He huffed. "That's because I work to help them." He pulled her closer within his arms. "Jerk might be the nicest word interns and other medical staff have referred to me." Ethan pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "And my quick temper might give yours a run for its money ." He grinned when he heard her muffled laugh. "And I've never been known for being a forgiving man."

She wrapped her arms around him as she settled her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder. "If anyone tells you about me, then--"

"I know who you are, Olivia." Ethan stressed. "I will never hold your past up as a standard to measure your actions by."

Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Don't thank me." He grumbled. "And don't believe what Drake said." He grimaced as a thought struck. "Though I can imagine why he acted like he did."

She swiped at her stray tears. "You can?"

He nodded before resting his cheek against her head. "Who knows how I would react if this was reversed? I might have lashed out at you in frustration if you refused to give me a second chance."

She lifted her head to see his face.

He met her gaze and softly smiled again. "Especially since I am in love with you."

"You--" her lips parted in surprise, "You are in love with me?

"I am."

Olivia knew in that moment what was truly in her heart. All the questions she had asked herself that morning finally had an answer. And all because Ethan had done the one thing that no man had ever done before.

He did not judge her for her past, her name, anything. He accepted her, faults and all, and loved her for every single part.

"I love you too." She smiled against his lips. "I have never loved anyone like I do you."

Their kiss held a new edge to the usual passion. Having expressed their feelings, the need to show just how much they loved one another took over.

While clothes were beginning to be hastily tossed around the living room, Olivia's phone vibrated softly in her purse.

***************

Hearing the beep, Drake cleared his throat. "I know I am probably the last person you want to talk to but I need to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said. I wish..."

He took a deep breath. "I wish you would give me a second chance to show you that I do care the way you wanted me to. I know you're with Ramsey now, but I want to try what you asked me all those months ago. I want to be with you, out in the open."

He lifted his eyes to the ceiling of his hotel room in Kentucky. "I won't keep bothering you. I'll give you time to think it over and wait until the New Year's Eve Ball to hear your answer." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Hana said you told her you'd be back by then. I hope I didn't...didn't ruin what chance I could have."

Pausing once more, he dropped his head in his hand.

"Take care, Libby." He said softly before ending the call.

******************

That night, Oliva felt once more at peace. In the darkness of Ethan's bedroom, she smiled at how he was spooned around her. His slow deep breaths of sleep lulled her even more into the addictive security his presence gave her.

She kept replaying his words of love in her mind. In many ways it surprised her, and yet deep down she thought she must have already known. Every action, every kind word, every kiss had revealed that he had given her his heart. And she in turn had given him hers without even realizing it.

As hard as it was to find some type of silver lining to Drake's hurtful words, she supposed she should be grateful for them. Her sharing it had possibly prompted Ethan to tell her how he felt about her.

She yawned while snuggling back against her doctor. His arms pulled her even closer as he slept.

She felt both exhausted and wired. The day had been filled with one extreme emotion after another. And yet, the words both men had said kept her awake.

Olivia didn't know if she had it in her to forgive Drake. To have someone that you actually trust bring up the worst pieces of yourself as a threat to ruin the one good thing you have...how could he do that to her? She had been hurt when he didn't return her feelings, but this fight today had damaged them to the point that she wasn't sure if she even wanted him as a friend.

I would never say something like that to him if he managed to find happiness with someone else, she thought to herself.

Ethan had been much more understanding of Drake's actions than she could ever be.

She knew it wasn't necessarily a good thing that she never gave people second chances. Why would she after all the betrayals she had suffered in life? She barely needed both hands to count the number of people she had over the years that had never betrayed her.

Had Drake entered into the category she kept for her parents, Lucretia, Constantine, and numerous nobles at court?"

I don't know, she thought. I don't know how I feel over what he did.

She thought about his voicemail. It didn't matter how sincere Drake sounded or that he now wanted to try. His apology seemed hollow. Perhaps it was because he truly didn't know her now. These months in Boston had changed her, possibly even more than she realized.

She wasn't the same proud duchess that had once sworn vengeance to anyone who opposed her. She had learned the difficult art of give and take. She made herself listen and think through everything before losing her temper or forming a hard decision. It had been an ongoing battle, but she felt that she had a somewhat better control than she once had. Today's fight with Drake had proved that she wasn't the same quick tempered, plan to skewer a person on the edge of her dagger she had once been. She had stepped out of her comfort zone and lived for the most part as a normal person, proving to herself that she truly could survive on her own in any situation.

This venture had shown her that she was more than what her ancestors had stressed a Nevarkis should be. The people in Cordonia would most likely still see her as her old self, but she knew and it seemed that Ethan did also who she truly was. Her strength, her refusal to back down from a fight, her very heart had been used for good.

Drake didn't see it. He never saw the potential she had to do something meaningful and right. Maybe it was because she hadn't allowed him to do so. Maybe they really never had a chance to see the best in one another.

Could we have found a way to happiness if we had not spent years torturing each other with our spiteful words?

Deciding that that was a thought that would probably never be answered, she closed her eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep.

********************

Weeks went by too quickly for some and not nearly fast enough for others. Edenbrook had closed its doors leaving many with bittersweet emotions. Ethan, Naveen, and Olivia had spent what free time they had packing and shipping their personal belongings to Cordonia. Decisions were made for the two doctors to stay with her in Lythikos while they searched for homes of their own.

While rushing about, Amanda and Thomas came to help a week before Christmas.

On their second night together, the ladies sent Ethan and Thomas to get dinner, giving them a moment to talk alone.

"Did you come for me or for the snow?" Olivia teased when Amanda insisted the two of them take a break from packing and go for a walk.

"Since you have always had the best snow," Amanda replied with a twinkle of mischief, "I always come for you."

She laughed when Olivia snorted.

"Are you excited?" She prodded as their boots crunched in the snow.

"About finally seeing the new hospital?" Olivia linked her arm through Amanda's when they entered a nearby park. "Of course."

"I am too." Amanda took a deep breath and cut her eyes toward her friend. "And I am very excited to see you and a certain doctor together at the New Year Eve's ball."

Olivia didn't bother to mask how happy she was. "I have something to tell you."

"Oh?"

"Ethan, he...on Thanksgiving, he admitted he is in love with me."

"About time." Amanda grumbled playfully. "Each time I visit, I see just how much he does love you."

Olivia stopped their progress through a path of lighted trees. "You knew all this time? Why didn't you tell me?"

Amanda's laughter at the death glint in Olivia's eyes echoed across the park. "Because you would have dismissed it like you always have whenever I brought up heartfelt emotions."

She placed a hand on her hip and somehow did a convincing impression of Olivia. "Please. No man can truly capture a Nevarkis heart, much less make me willing to be his," Amanda managed to twist her lips in disgust like Olivia's as she flicked her hand in a very recognizable gesture, "love slave."

Olivia rolled her eyes while struggling with her laughter. "I don't sound like that."

"Not now that you're in looovvve." Amanda responded playfully.

"Why do I share things with you?" Olivia muttered.

"Because you love me." Amanda wrapped her arm around her. "Not as much as you love Ethan, but I can live with that."

Olivia snorted again as she tried to brush it off. As hard as she tried, a soft smile formed on her lips. "You're right."

"I am happy you both know how you feel about one another." Amanda's teasing turned serious. "It would have driven you crazy with trying to guess."

"I suppose it would have irritated me." Olivia admitted. 

“I know it would have driven me insane watching you both tiptoe around the issue.” Amanda grumbled.

“It surprised me.” Olivia admitted. 

“It did? Why?”

“I--I suppose I didn’t expect it to happen.” She felt embarrassed just saying it. “I don’t think I ever thought I would meet someone to feel like that... I never thought of any of it happening to me.”

Amanda's heart ached at realizing just how damaged Olivia still was over her parents. Nothing hurt her more than seeing her friend still believe that she was unworthy of love. To be this surprised over a man falling in love with her proved how much she doubted herself. Perhaps it was why Olivia continuously pushed herself to serve Cordonia in any way possible. It might be why she never backed away from danger.

Compliments and recognition had been the closest she had to receiving love in her life

Amanda felt herself adoring Ethan even more for showing Olivia that she herself was loveable. She wasn't the prickly cactus that she had given Liam at his coronation. She had a tender heart, one that any person would be lucky to earn.

"I love him." Olivia broke into Amanda's musings. "It's different from what I once felt for Liam."

Amanda squeezed her in a side hug. "One sided love usually is different. Having someone give their heart to you and work in the hopes of you giving them theirs, I can't think of a greater gift than that."

Olivia nodded. "Ethan does that. I thought that maybe after we admitted our feelings that he would slack off trying to," her brow furrowed at trying to find the words.

"Sweep you off your feet?"

"Yes." Olivia's nose wrinkled out of habit over something so sappy. "He now seems to work even harder to not only keep my love but to make me love him even more."

"Good." Amanda linked her arm through hers again. "He better or he will have me to deal with."

Olivia burst into laughter. "And what will you do if he doesn't?"

Amanda's smile grew. "Don't worry. I've been trained by the best on how to torture a man." She winked at her friend. "You always did give the most interesting lessons."

*****************

Christmas was approaching and with it, Ethan invited Olivia to drive to Providence to spend Christmas with him and his father.

She was both excited and extremely nervous to meet his one family member he had a relationship with.

She was completely out of her depth in this situation. She had never had a man invite her to, "meet the parents,". She knew though how big this was for Ethan to include her in his family's Christmas tradition.

He seemed so happy, so proud, to introduce her to his father.

The drive over had been filled with his sharing some of his childhood memories. Her hand had remained in his as she watched the play of emotions on his face. He was opening up to her again, showing how much he trusted her with these bits of himself.

The modest, in need of a new coat of paint home had surprised her. She didn't know why she expected Ethan to have had a childhood a tad more luxurious than this. He seemed so cultured at times, that it impressed her even more that he had learned all of it on his own.

Ethan's father, Alan, had come outside to welcome her while helping with their luggage.

The genuine delight in the elder's face at meeting the woman his son had brought home made her feel slightly giddy. He teased Ethan with saying he had not done nearly enough in describing how pretty she was.

"I did." Ethan teased back. "You just didn't pay attention."

The three shared a meal with Olivia watching in fascination at their closeness. So many of her friends either had parents dead or were not close to them at all. This was something entirely new.

Alan had charmed her into sharing a little about herself. His understanding smile and deep laugh had made her relax. After dinner he pulled her away from the table while ordering Ethan to do the dishes.

"You're taking her to the mantle aren't you?" Ethan grumbled while fighting a smile.

"Don't worry what we're doing." Alan reciprocated. "Just make sure to soak that pan before putting it in the dishwasher."

Olivia allowed herself to be ushered into the small den. A Christmas tree stood with slightly old ornaments next to a warm crackling fire. Her gaze lifted to the different sized picture frames on the mantle.

Picking up one that seemed to be the oldest, Alan handed it to her. "This was a few weeks after Ethan was born."

Olivia's lips curved at seeing what looked like any other baby. She studied each picture he handed her, giving her glimpses into Ethan's life. Her smile grew at a photo of a ten year old Ethan smiling while puppies crawled all over him.

She then noticed the woman in the background.

"That's his mom." Alan's joy seemed to dim some. "She had been the one to decide we go to a nearby farm to let Ethan choose a puppy for his birthday."

Olivia studied the image of the woman who had so easily left her husband and son.

How could she do that to him?

The sound of Ethan returning caused Alan to quickly switch the picture for another one.

"Here he is with his first car."

"Dad." Ethan grumbled good naturedly. "I'm sure Olivia doesn't want to go down through every mundane event in my life."

"I do." Olivia blurted out. Heat flooded her cheeks. "I like seeing your childhood."

Alan beamed at her. "Here's one of my favorites. He was around five years old and had opened a clinic for stuffed animals."

"Did he?" Olivia cocked an eyebrow at Ethan.

"I'll have you know that I save many from losing their limbs." Ethan smiled at her laughter. "I had to since most of the injuries my toys suffered were from my rigorous playing."

The three sat down and began to talk about Ethan moving to Cordonia.

"You will have to visit." Olivia insisted. "You will always be welcome in Lythikos."

"I plan to." Alan stood and stretched. "I think I'll leave you two to get some sleep." He patted Ethan's shoulder then squeezed Olivia's hand. "I'm so happy you're both here."

Ethan settled his arm again around Olivia once they were left alone in companionship silence.

"Your father is very kind."

He chuckled. "Yes, I know. Nothing like me."

She smirked at him. "Don't sell yourself short. You have your moments."

"I do, huh?"

"I think so." She snuggled closer within his arms.

Smiling to himself, Ethan reached into his pocket.

"Olivia?"

"Hmm?"

He held a box out to her.

She sat up with a start when her eyes fell upon the little velvet box.

"I think you know what I'm about to ask." Ethan said softly as he opened it for her.

Carefully lifting the diamond ring that sparkled in the firelight, he paused right at the tip of her finger.

"You know how much I love you." His vulnerability was once more on display. "You make my life better than I thought possible. I need you, your passion, your heart." He glanced down at her hand trembling in his grasp. “I can’t imagine a life without you by my side.”

His bright blue eyes lifted once more to her green ones shimmering with unshed tears.

"Olivia, will you marry me?"