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dbtskills · 5 years

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Psychiatric Hospitalization 101

So you’re about to save your own life by going to the hospital- here’s what you need to know:

~disclaimer: I am not a healthcare professional nor have I worked in a hospital. I am simply someone who has been hospitalized multiple times. This is about acute, short-term psych hospitalization. My word is not law~

The Truth

First off, let me tell you the truth. The truth is that being hospitalized is one of the bravest things you can do. You have chosen (or perhaps you haven’t) to save your own life. Not to beat the physical vs mental illness comparison to death, but conceptually this is like going to the hospital with a broken leg to get a cast. You’re treating an acute wound, going to get a tune up, going to a safe place to heal. Unfortunately there is a stigma involved. It’s been decreasing recently and I think you’ll find psych hospitalization is a lot more common than you imagine. But it still exists. You can be proud of taking this step. It will be hard, but you’ve made the right choice.

When to consider hospitalization

Being suicidal is one of the most common reasons for hospitalization. Psychosis, panic attacks, and substance abuse are others. The main factor for choosing to hospitalize is whether you think you can survive the episode you’re having. If you’re even questioning it, hospitalization is probably a good idea. If you’re choosing between your life and the hospital, the hospital is always the right answer even if it doesn’t seem that way at the time.

The process

There are two ways to be hospitalized: through the ER and straight to the unit. The ER is the most common way. Occasionally your therapist or psychiatrist or other healthcare provider will be able to bypass the ER for you and get you straight into a bed on a unit. If you have this opportunity, definitely take it.

If you go the ER route, you arrive and explain why you’re there. You’ll then be taken back into a room- sometimes a private room, sometimes a communal psych room. Sometimes your phone will be taken. A guard will be stationed near you to ensure you do not hurt yourself or try to run away. You may wait for hours. You’ll see a psychiatrist who will determine whether to commit you to the psych unit or send you home. If they decide to commit you, you’ll be wheeled to the unit.

For me, the worst part of the process is the ER. You’re often helped by healthcare professionals who are judgmental of mental illness or are too busy to enact kindness. It can be a very dehumanizing experience. You may regret coming to the hospital, but you did the right thing. Saving your life is always the right thing. It’s okay to regret it for a bit as long as you follow through.

What to pack

Your belongings will be confiscated upon your arrival but if you have a chance to pack or if you have someone to bring you stuff, consider these:

A warm comfy outfit like sweats (but without a string at the waist!!!!!! take it out or they won’t let you have them!), SOCKS, pjs. Loungewear basically. The hospital provides basic toiletries, socks, and gowns/scrubs/paper pants. They can provide underwear and pads as necessary. Pack a hair brush if you’ve got tangly hair bc whatever they give you will NOT suffice.

You may want to bring your medications just in case the hospital doesn’t have them in their pharmacy but you will not have access to them, all your meds will come from the hospital itself.

Books! Some hospitals have a small library but you can bring your own if they’re deemed appropriate by the staff. They provide stuff like coloring pages, puzzles, games, etc but it can get p boring.

BRING A WRITTEN LIST OF IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS. YOUR PHONE WILL BE TAKEN.

You will have to ask to have items you arrived with brought to you from your belongings bag. Occasionally they will be reluctant, but you can self-advocate your way through it.

On the unit

If you came to the hospital in the evening you may get little sleep that first night. You have to do the intake where they ask you all the questions and you sign a bunch of forms. You must be up for breakfast the next day. That first day you won’t get to choose your own meals but you will fill out a meal card for the next day.

Most of your day will consist of shuffling between different mental health groups. Mental Health Professionals (often social work masters students) run groups on addiction, coping skills, community resources, gratitude etc etc in addition to your stereotypical group therapy. There are 3 meals a day, snacks available, and lots of downtime. There’s also activity hour where you do crafts or play games. During activity hour in my last hospitalization I painted a cackling coffin (it was October). 10/10.

You will have a roommate. My experience is that you both mind your own business while being kind and it’s generally okay.

They will take your blood pressure and vitals at least once a day. It’s annoying but necessary. They may do labs and draw your blood depending on your circumstances. If you have a physical illness as well, it may be a battle to make sure you are seen and treated for that too. All I can say is be your best advocate.

You will not have your cell phone. This will be stressful at first but hopefully nice after a bit. You can call whomever you want using the hospital phones that are on during downtime. You may have to ask the staff to dial if it’s out of the hospital area code. People can also call you if they know where you are. Do what you need to do but also don’t be the Phone Hogger bc we all want to use it too.

Visitors are allowed during certain hours. It’s not like a regular hospital visiting situation where they can just sit by your bed for hours. It’s like once a day for an hour you can get a visitor, no more than two at a time or whatever the rules are. No one can visit or call you without your permission. Visits by loved ones are so so nice and make you feel human again. I would encourage finding someone you trust who can visit you. It can make a world of difference.

"How can I get out faster?”

This is a hack question tbh. I know everything sucks but you are there to heal first and foremost. Generally they release you when the psychiatrist thinks you’re ready to go. The average stay for something like an acute suicidal episode is 3-5 days. That’s enough time in the dr’s eyes for you to stabilize and receive any medication changes. If you are on the unit voluntarily, you can technically leave at any time. I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone insist on it though. Ask your doctors when they are considering releasing you so you can plan. They may change their answer so casually check in now and then.

Go to groups and participate in them. If you're hiding in your room all day the nurses will notice and they do write that down. There may be many people on the unit, but the nurses are keeping track and taking roll. If you can, be open, honest and compliant with your treatment team. Now there’s a part of me that goes “Fuck The System!!!! Fuck being compliant! I am my own woman and my illness is Me and not something to be stigmatized or hidden. Take me to Bitch Planet, bitch!!!” This is totally valid. You just have to decide what is more important to you- being noncompliant in the face of a judgmental system or getting back to the world. As much I want to rebel, my perfectionism and people pleasing tend to kick in by the second day on the unit.

The aftermath & “what do I tell people?”

When you are being prepped for release, you must have appointments with your outpatient treatment team set up. If you don’t already, the hospital will schedule them for you. If there’s someone who can pick you up, utilize that. Otherwise they may set you up with a cab or something depending on the location. You will be given the bag containing your phone and other belongings upon release.

It is up to you to decide what to tell people about your stay on the unit. You can be honest with whomever you choose, but you don’t have to be. You can say you were out of town or had a family emergency or whatever you want. It is not your responsibility to break the stigma. If you can and want to, go for it! We will all appreciate it. But you don’t have to advocate if you don’t feel comfortable. I tell many of my friends and family the full truth and then tell others that I was “in the hospital.” If they ask questions I say I don’t want to talk about it. This works better than you might think. (It surprised me how respectful people are when you say you don’t want to talk about something.) Most people won't even ask, tbh.

It's not all garbage

It’s not all drugged up zombies and Dissociation Time: my last experience was pretty lit. We had morning “stretches” to ‘80s bops. We played Wii bowling. We discussed aliens and conspiracy theories. In a place with such a heavy stigma on it, it was a surprisingly Shame-Free environment. It was comforting to be in a place where everyone Got It. At night we would get our meds and then drift off to bed one by one as the meds hit to goodnights of “ope, the Seroquel’s kicking in.” The variety of people on the unit proves that mental illness affects everyone, from the college student to the 75-year-old retired man to the soccer mom with 3 kids. And they each have different ways of coping, different perspectives on their situation. These other perspectives can be inspiring, even helpful and you may pick up as many tips from your peers as the actual professionals. Respect your peers, don’t be that person who’s like “why am I, Normal Person, locked up with all these Crazy People?” If you’re in there, you’re all in the same boat. Crazy is a slur and no one there is crazy unless they choose to reclaim the term.

The staff can be quite kind as well. I once had a nurse go down to the gift shop to get me a tiny hair brush for my waist-length tangled hair. He didn’t have to put in that effort but he did. This past time I had an MHP sit with me after a session and develop personalized affirmations that she wrote in my journal with her gorgeous, swooping handwriting. It’s small things like these that end up mattering most in an environment that can feel harsh. There can be great kindness there, under all the rules and regulations, you just have to be open to it.

I’ve made a wide range of friends in hospitals. Ones I’d never have even encountered in real life. Even though we haven’t kept in touch, I think of them often. My roommate with terminal kidney failure who got ECT twice a week but took the time to ask how I was. A recent immigrant from Nepal who didn’t speak any English but with whom I communicated anyway. Sandy, my homeless roommate who gave me all of her toiletries instead of taking them with her. Trevor, a young heroin addict who guarded my chocolate cake when I had a phone call. Curtis, a retired professor deep in psychosis whom we taught to Wii bowl. There are so many different lives that tangle with each other on the unit. In this way I consider it a gift, to have a window into all these different worlds that are connected by this one string. I’ll never see these people again, but I’ll never forget them either. I hope they’re all still out there, getting by.

Getting hospitalized can be one of the scariest and hardest experiences but it is also one of the bravest. You saved your own life. Even if you didn’t bring yourself in, your participation saved it. It is a chance to reorient yourself to life, to recovery. It is a second, a third, a 15th chance. It’s like a terrible mini vacation. Responsibilities are lifted so you can focus on yourself. Utilize it if you can.

Again, my word is not law, it is based on my own experiences on the inside and outside of psych units. Please please reply or send asks with your own information. I know I’m not the only one on here who’s been hospitalized. We are legion. We survived. We survive.

**Note from Kat: I am trying to learn graphic design (is my passion™) but the struggle is real and it does NOT come naturally so if anyone wants to help hmu!!!!! Can’t pay obvi but can link!**

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boxoffood · 4 years

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Basics of Food Management

Food is such a fundamental aspect of our reality. Our lives spin around it from our waking second onwards. Food and devouring go inseparably and even festivals everywhere on the world and over all societies are focused on food (box2food). Our old Indian sacred writings separate food into three classes, for example,

Satvic or unadulterated nourishments: These are food sources that mend, comfort, succulent, smooth and increment life span, knowledge and quality and are processed well by our framework.

Rajasik or the elegant nourishments: These are pungent, zesty, harsh, pungent and can offer ascent to weakness, pain or distress.

Tamasik or the polluted nourishments: These incorporate old, chilly, left over nourishments, unclean and half cooked making incredible mischief the brain and the body.

Food is one part of our life that we underestimate. We are less aware of the food that we expend. We leave our body to manage the consistent maltreatment from our everyday lives and ways of life. We, people, without underestimating our body, need to make wellbeing creating frameworks and manufacture a unity with food, beneficial activities, yoga, restorative breathing and contemplation, rest and rest and be profoundly mindful and cognizant. These means convert into better endurance, quality, tone and energy with accentuation overall body as an element, one that emphasizes health and prosperity.

The food we eat establishes the framework for each cell and tissue in our body. The reason for food is to sustain us, manufacture quality and to give essential energy. Stomach related agreement is the key for arrival of this crucial energy required for solid living. The study of Ayurveda - the innovative and helpful life science - says that all aspects of our psyche and body is represented by the DOSHAS - the bio-lively power or components that support life. Refined, prepared and protected nourishments are largely absolutely without this sustenance and imperativeness. Healthy, crude and characteristic nourishments that have consumed the inestimable energy, and are too accused of adequate precipitation and daylight must be used to the fullest for wellbeing and health.

The dad of medication, Hippocrates said "thy food is thy medication. The type of food you eat will affect you general health and what you eat you become".

To a large portion of us eating great food is simply one more errand and an inconsequential activity. The number of us are truly aware of the way that great food performs marvels inside our cells and tissues and is answerable for 80% of our change. Food subtly affects our psyches too. Food assumes an essential function in affecting our cerebrum conduct, our states of mind, and points of view and in taking care of pressure. It is these healthy, characteristic nourishments that give wellbeing and energy freeing and shielding us from us from diseases. Studies have indicated that there are two dietary cycles in the human body-feeding and purging that should be managed with acceptable and reasonable dietary propensities. Whenever disregarded, it can prompt a development of poisons which are the reason for generally mental and physical degeneration.

Wellbeing isn't only an extraordinary body or a zero size figure however covers physical wellness, mind science and otherworldly development and our endeavors ought to be an incorporated methodology towards health. To accomplish this eat suitable nourishments that don't disintegrate our stomach related framework. Truly, I mean, go genuine simple on every one of those low quality nourishments, soda pops, old, cold food sources and exorbitant meat eating and liquor. Rather, start to cherish organic products, veggies, nuts and nourishments in their characteristic healthy structure. It is essential to 'oblige your craving and not spoil your hunger.' I am asking you to follow this and not consider it a 'diet'. It isn't proposed for weight reduction alone. In actuality, it is a significant aspect of a solid way of life.

Thus, let us praise great wellbeing.

How frequently have you gone over the words 'solid' and 'food' in a similar sentence, yet decided to disregard it? Notwithstanding monitoring the numerous advantages of eating healthy, I see endless individuals around me underestimating their wellbeing. Our body is what we think about it. So why fill it with undesirable food and wind up enduring its worst part.

Eating well has endless favorable circumstances, some of them being:

1. Forestalls and control medical conditions like heart maladies, hypertension, type 2 diabetes.

2. With great sustenance your body turns out to be better outfitted to manage pressure.

3. Great food invigorates the body to make more executioner cells to avert contaminations accordingly advancing resistance.

4. Food gives us sickness battling cancer prevention agents and can slow the characteristic cycle of maturing.

Indian eating regimens, with care and arranging are characteristic and natural involving grains, heartbeats and dals, leafy foods, nuts and oilseeds; all in satisfactory adds up to look after wellbeing. Diet and Nutrition are answerable for 70 to 80% of your whole change. Food likewise impacts your point of view, disposition and conduct. There are nourishments which can cause you to feel high, there are food sources which can make you touchy and unstable, there are food sources which can energize you, and there are food sources which can loosen up you.

Indian eating regimens suit Indian populace the best contingent on our way of life, climatic conditions, air, contamination and so on When some time appreciating different cooking styles is extraordinary, yet would you actually need to exclusively rely upon pastas and burgers over and over again and face the dangers joined to devouring such undesirable, non stringy nourishments?

As referenced over the wellbeing hazards are bounty! Our eating regimens incorporate complex starches from jowar, bajra, ragi, entire wheat and so forth instead of the refined sugars. Our eating regimens are intended to ensure our hearts with low degrees of oils, fats, sugars. Truth be told our eating regimens find some kind of harmony of all nutrition types, nothing to an extreme and nothing excessively little. High sugar admission is proportionate to diabetes, high fat levels can prompt hypercholesterolemia, hypertension, heart sicknesses, strokes and so forth

My brilliant standards for better wellbeing:

Keep in mind, our bodies are custom-made to devour what we have been since youth and what our dads, front dads have been expending. Our weight control plans of rotis, dals/beats, veggies, sprouts, servings of mixed greens and so forth consistently will guarantee total wellbeing rather than steady utilization of lousy nourishments/burgers/pizzas/abundance measures of cheddar, cream and so on Relish on all that you love, yet recall that, anything excessively little or a lot of is similarly harming...

Rules for smart dieting and weight the board

Adhere to these brilliant standards/steps of smart dieting for accomplishing a solid weight reduction and to expand your wellbeing and life span:

1. Regular little helpings of food are suggested. Eat gradually. Eating often forestalls cravings for food, gives steady energy and keeps up digestion productively.

2. Select nourishments dependent on your inclination and don't stress as a lot over the quantity of calories you expend however focus on joining the correct nourishments and on the segment sizes. Try not to deny yourselves. This is probably going to make you eat more the following day.

3. Change it up of nourishments to your day by day diet. Incorporate healthy nourishments like vegetables, natural products, nuts, seeds, fledglings, and entire grains. These nourishments give all the basic supplements and fiber which are essential for development, great wellbeing and insusceptibility.

4. Drink every day 8 to 10 glasses of fluids like water, and natural teas. These beverages are fillers are hunger directors.

5. Incorporate new natural products, new unstrained vegetable juices, vegetable, sprouts, entire grains, nuts and low fat milk/yogurt.

6. Drink a glass of ginger/green tea after a weighty dinner. This hurries absorption and improves digestion.

7. Expend sound bites like plates of mixed greens, wafers, natural products, unsweetened and low fat yogurt, wholegrain bread rolls and biscuits.

8. Peruse marks well and pick nourishments that don't contain synthetics like additives and added substances. Naturally developed nourishments are a more advantageous choice.

9. Keep away from terrible fats like margarine, cream full-cream milk and rich plate of mixed greens dressings and sauces. Take care not to kill wellsprings of good fats like nuts, seeds and olive oils which contain unsaturated fats. Utilize these nourishments with some restraint.

10. Take out white flour items like breads and rolls, pastas, white rice, handled nourishments and sweet breakfast oats. They need fiber. They additionally cause a spike in our insulin level prompting fat stockpiling.

11. Exercise consistently. Extending, yoga, workout, strolling and other gentle types of vigorous exercises are suggested. These activities should be possible at home or in a rec center with direction. Stress can be diminished through yoga,meditation, great rest and sound rest.

12. Stay away from soda pops, and squeezes. Additionally evade desserts, pastries and seared bites. Rather, eat an assortment of supplement thick nourishments. Breaking point the utilization of handled nourishments, seared nourishments and quick nourishments. In the event that you should have them, make sure to practice balance. Balance is the key when you eat what you need without feeling denied. (https://box2food.com)

13. Use cooking strategies like stewing, steaming, flame broiling and simmering as opposed to singing.

Great wellbeing is the consequence of cognizant duty that includes numerous variables like the food we eat, works out, mental prosperity, rest and rest. Consistency is the most significant factor with regards to great nourishment. At the point when you are regularly on the run, you need an arrangement that you can without much of a stretch receive and one that includes an establishment of sound food. Eating continuous even suppers is fundamental for any individual who needs to lose or look after weight, have energy and endurance for the duration of the day, supported insusceptibility, to improve center and fixation or more for Mickeymizing your health remainder!

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buymicrodose-blog · 5 years

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Nothing is exempt from the forces of gravity

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Rather than concealing sorrow and uneasiness with drug and enduring the symptoms, or utilizing magic mushrooms and taking a chance with the conceivable reactions, what about distinguishing and managing the wellspring of the issue?

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hornyliverpudlianputz · 6 years

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What are some TV shows that you highly recommend? (I love The Monkees, but they don't have to be similar to it) Thanks!

Hhhoooo boyyyyyy. Ok I’m going in completely blind here so I will take the shotgun approach. (Bless you anon, I love recommending things.)

Classic comedies -

The Dick Van Dyke Show: an absolute comedy classic, and Rose Marie and Mary Tyler Moore are main characters! Is great! Can get a little sexist at times but honestly not as bad as it could have been. It’s in black and white and, as a product of the time, Van Dyke will frequently kiss his young son on the mouth in greeting. It is NOT sexual AT ALL but if that makes you uncomfortable, be warned.

I Love Lucy: duh. I mean do I even have to describe this one? Watch it, it’s great!

The Carol Burnett Show: another very funny lady. Their sketch parody of “Gone With The Wind” had me laughing so hard I was not physically producing sound any more.

Get Smart: a spy comedy from the 60s, The Monkees reference it a few times. Has some ridiculously funny catchphrases.

Hogan’s Heroes: set in a WWII POW camp in Germany, is basically a funny version of the howling commandos from Captain America. Again, sexist as a product of their time, but funny none the less. One of the first major sitcoms to have a main black character, and has a lot of behind-the-scenes epicness. Obviously, because of the setting, the main antagonists are Nazis, but I feel it’s important to point out that they are made to look incompetent at ever turn. (A lot of the main/reoccurring cast are either Jewish or come from Jewish families, and the actor who plays LeBeau is actually a Holocaust survivor. Trust me when I say the Nazis never win.)

MASH: you probably see me post about this a lot here besides The Monkees, I love this show. It’s very long, 11 seasons, and transforms over the course of it’s run from a slapstick comedy to a short drama with witty jokes. It’s set in a mobile medical unit during the Korean War so it can get pretty bloody and does not shy away from gallows humor. Is sexist at the beginning but it gets better, same with period typical racism towards Asians. (The guy who plays BJ, a main character, was a guest on The Monkees and I LOST MY SHIT.)

Monty Python’s Flying Circus: a British sketch comedy show from the 70s. These are the same people who do “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” and “Life of Brian” so they are very funny. Unfortunately a lot of it was political satire at the time so it has the tendency to go completely over our heads now, but still great. Other British sketch comedies I love include A Bit of Fry and Laurie with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie and Not The Nine O’Clock News that has Rowen Atkinson.

Classic dramas -

Dragnet: I haven’t had a huge opportunity to watch a lot of this, but it’s an old police procedural that actually started as a radio drama. It’s a bit stiff, but it’s NOT as bad as Ben Casey so I’d give it a try.

Star Trek: classic 60s, you had to have seen this coming. Horrifically cheesy special effects, costumes, acting, and music, but man has it got heart. Please do also check out all of the other Star Treks.

Columbo: this is an epic police procedural that turns the typical formula on it’s head; the audience follows the murderer rather than the detective. Basically we watch the lead-up to the crime, usually the crime itself, and then we watch Detective Columbo come in and destroy the criminal piece by piece. It’s great and Peter Falk is a national treasure. Suffers from “black people don’t exists” 70s syndrome, but is basically about rich white people killing each other because they have too much time on their hands so like. Yeah.

More recent shows that are no longer running -

The West Wing: listen. This show is one of the only dramas to effectively work really good comedy writing into itself. It will also teach you about American politics and you won’t mind. I sat down to start this show thinking I would watch one episode to give it a try and then go to bed. I watched 3 in a row. Also Martin Sheen I mean come on.

Psych: very funny crime show about an adult child with daddy issues and his fiscally responsible best friend solving crimes by pretending to be psychic because the police wouldn’t believe he has hyperobservational skills. Has great character development and does not take itself seriously at all. Great show.

Leverage: do you like heists? Well this show does a heist an episode. Basically it’s a team of specialized criminals that work together to Robin Hood it up as they learn to love each other as family. What’s not to love.

Due South: again, I have had little opportunity to actually watch this, but it’s about a Canadian Mountie working with the Chicago PD. Hijinks ensue. Also apparently ghosts get involved later? Can’t wait.

Teen Wolf: ok so like. This is closer to brain candy than Really Great Writing but. The main cast is solid and it’s a fun supernatural drama. I did a rant post at one point about the super good background queer rep so you know. Also Dylan O’Brien.

Black Sails: a show combining fictional pirate characters from “Treasure Island” with real historical pirates while events that set up “Treasure Island” occur. It is extremely full on, expect nudity, violence, rape, flashbacks, and swearing. However it handles these issues well, and gets aggressively more queer as the show goes on. Also the ladies kick ass.

Scrubs: it didn’t age super well, and we don’t talk about the last season, but this is a very funny medical comedy that is sort of the inverse of The West Wing in terms of writing; this is a comedy that does dramatic writing really well. It’s in a hospital though so like, gross and sad things happen sometimes.

Shows that are currently airing -

Letterkenny: I post about this occasionally here, it’s a very funny Canadian comedy about a small rural town. The dialogue can be difficult to follow because it uses a lot of Canadian slang and is very quick fire, but it’s hilarious. Has the benefit of not only including Native characters, but actually casting Native actors in those roles. Has the most creative swearing I have ever witnessed and it is glorious to behold. Is getting progressively more queer. Also, while sexy fun times are talked about, thus far there is absolutely no PDA, not even kissing, on screen which, as an aroace, is nice.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: a cop comedy. Racially and sexually diverse, is still holding up after 5 seasons. Has the distinction of not going down hill after acting on romantic tension between main characters. Brilliantly satirical writing and will call absolutely anyone out.

BoJack Horseman: extremely dark Netflix animated comedy. It covers a lot of intense subjects like depression, substance abuse, emotional abuse, and self-loathing, but it explores them in a really well-written way. Has the distinction of making one of the main characters (Todd) realize he is ace over the course of the series, and it is the best damn ace rep I have ever seen. Suffers from a fanbase of dudebros who try to use the main character to excuse their actions, but literally called itself out for this in the latest season. Epic.

Archer: an animated comedy about a spy organization that is made up of people who cannot work together because they are awful and selfish. Is hysterically funny but quite raunchy and hints at larger issues, like alcoholism and emotional abuse. But again, dark comedy.

That’s all I’ve got anon, and if anyone has recommendations for me hmu!

#ask and ye shall recieve #holocaust mention #rape mention #abuse mention #substance abuse mention #racism mention #sexism mention #personal #man i watch too much tv

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ignot0 · 5 years

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Frightful Witches and Kissable Toads: How Folktales Nourish the Soul

One day Baba Yaga's two believed frogs stated,

"You are really frightening!"

"Great!" said Baba Yaga, "in light of the fact that that is what I'm here for."

from The Wise Doll by Hiawyn Oram.

As an expert storyteller, I need to admit my biases. I am absolutely and enthusiastically infatuated with the class of folktales. Indeed, there are folktales that are exhausting or excessively rough or model awful qualities. These are the frog stories and indeed, at times one needs to kiss a couple of amphibians before finding the rulers and princesses of story. Additionally, if your primary introduction to the exemplary fantasies has been Walt Disney movies or books, you might be uninformed of the prior, earthier and all the more fulfilling variants. As my companion and ace storyteller Brian Hungerford frequently wryly asides, 'There is a unique spot in damnation for Walt Disney.' (1) Many grown-ups appear to be additionally to have lost the capacity to decipher the allegories in folktales. This leads them to confound sovereign and princess stories with frogs and miss the potential in folktales to recuperate, alleviate and model methods for being for their youngsters and themselves, in an engaging and grasping way. In this way I need to write in protection and in recognition of my old buddies and darlings.

Image source Folktales are frequently dismissed for their savagery, their 'sappy vision' and upbeat ever-after endings and for being about rulers and sovereigns. For me, those things didn't stress me, yet the sexual orientation generalizations did. So I abstained from telling the exemplary Grimm's stories and decided to tell progressively bizarre folktales with dynamic champions. However, two encounters switched that dismissal. The first was my child's conspicuous get a kick out of Little Red Cap (Red Riding Hood), Rapunzel, Goldilocks, Rumplestiltskin and Jack and the Bean Stalk. (2) He was then two years of age. The second was perusing a book called The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim. Right off the bat, for what reason are there such huge numbers of lords and sovereigns in folktales? Maybe you partner the government with tyrannical force, inbreeding and money related disparity. However emblematically, the lord and sovereign speak to our entire, develop and advanced selves. Lords and sovereigns in an original sense, have high confidence and the insight to settle on significant choices. They show steadfast supporters, can withstand resistance and live in a condition of wealth.

Additionally, Bettelheim says,

'Each kid sooner or later wishes that he were a ruler or princess - and on occasion, in his oblivious, the youngster accepts he is one, just briefly corrupted by conditions. There are such huge numbers of rulers and sovereigns in fantasies in light of the fact that their rank implies outright force, for example, the parent appears to hold over the kid. So the fantasy sovereignty speak to projections of the kid's creative mind'

Brutality in Folktales

Presently, how about we address viciousness in folktales. There are two things I'd prefer to consider here. The first is age propriety. The second is sifting through positive stories from dangerous stories.

I have recorded a CD of stories (3) and the primary track, Molly Whuppie, is a customary Scottish folktale wherein Molly outmaneuvers and surpasses a mammoth who needs to eat her and her sisters. My child's companion, a manly kid who is four and a half, fears the story Molly Whuppie, while his more youthful sister and my child have adored it since they were two. So it's not simply age you have to consider, and absolutely not sexual orientation, yet singular demeanor. My multi year old reveres terrifying stories and asks for them continually. I ask 'Are you certain this isn't unreasonably frightening for you?' He shakes his head determinedly 'No' and asks for a tale about a witch who eats youngsters. Indeed, for my child, his bad dreams facilitated, at that point stopped, when we started recounting stories like Red Cap (the more seasoned form of Little Red Riding Hood), Jack and The Beanstalk and Baba Yaga. I perceive that the inverse could be valid for certain youngsters whenever given an inappropriate story excessively youthful. They are acceptable medication, however you need to get the measurement right. (4)

Giving a chronicled setting on our mentalities towards folktale, Joseph Campbell, a world expert on folklore and folktales stated, 'The "colossal, silly and unnatural" themes of folktale and fantasy are gotten from the stores of dream and vision. On the fantasy level, such pictures speak to the all out condition of the individual dreaming psyche...but explained of individual bends and profounded - by artists, prophets, visionaries-, they become emblematic of the otherworldly standard for Man the Microcosom. They are hence states from a picture language, expressive of magical, mental and sociological truth. What's more, in the crude, oriental, age-old and medieval social orders this jargon was contemplated and pretty much comprehended. Just in the wake of the Enlightenment has it out of nowhere lost its significance and been articulated crazy.' (5)

Youngsters instinctually react genuinely and unknowingly to the similitudes installed in stories, on the off chance that they are permitted to. Unknowingly and sincerely they perceive the witch, the monster and the wolf as the terrifying part of grown-ups as well as themselves. At the point when I am fatigued and depleted and the infant is crying and my multi year old energetically hits me one too often in the wake of being asked not to, I can transform into something much the same as a wolf, a witch as well as a mammoth. This is completely dazing to a youngster. Where did that pleasant mummy go who is lively and cherishing and on my side? It tends to be simpler to envision that mummy or daddy or grandmother or educator or whoever, has been briefly taken over by an abhorrent beast, than to think about that they are equipped for being so startling. Consequently, grandmother is overwhelmed by the poser Riding Hood.

Goliaths as a rule symbolize that side of our temperament that is cantankerous, childish, uncaring, silly and mean. In any case, to youngsters, the approaching stature and extreme control over them that grown-ups have, implies unwittingly grown-ups are their mammoths. This is enhanced when we are irritable, however in any event, when we are sensible, we can in any case appear to be frustratingly ground-breaking. Regardless of on the off chance that you are the most reasonable and quiet parent on the planet, your youngster will in any case appreciate fantasizing that they can be the chief and even annihilation you. As a general rule, they need your insurance, direction and limits to have a sense of security, and obviously they would prefer truly not to see you come to hurt. You are their darling and the focal point of their reality. In any case, in a story, they can unwittingly have those darker wants satisfied with no genuine mischief coming to you.

Moreover, says Bettleheim,"...whatever the substance of a fantasy - which may run corresponding to a youngster's private dreams whether they be oedipal, wrathfully vicious, or deprecating of a parent - it very well may be transparently discussed, in light of the fact that the kid doesn't have to keep mystery his sentiments about what goes on in the fantasy, or feel regretful about getting a charge out of such contemplations."

So folktales can give youngsters access to methods for managing their characteristic feelings of trepidation, wraths and disappointments. Folktales - even numerous with vicious pictures, can give kids significant approaches to manage these befuddling emotions. A few stories may display a sort of conduct that is improper. In Molly Whuppie I have ventured to change a huge piece of the story, on the grounds that the goliath's significant other - who had really been useful to Molly - was thumped and this was set as clever. This most likely originated from a period in history when spouse beating was viewed as adequate and the standard. Be that as it may, the stunt is in separating a story that is in itself debilitated, from a solid one with a wiped out piece. We don't have to discard the good along with the bad. A tad of medical procedure made the story adequate to me.

In 2003, I had an extremely clear close to home understanding of the recuperating and engaging characteristics of people stories. I was expected to go on visit to Sydney for fourteen day's work narrating, however I was feeling truly terrified.

My work on visit includes conveying twelve to fifteen performance shows seven days. Each show comprises of 120 to 150 offspring of blended ages. I need to drive and explore through pinnacle hour traffic to two city areas daily. This time, I was taking my then three yr old Tamlyn and my bosom bolstered child Layla, who was four months, and would need to come to appears with me, while Tamlyn would be best off left in one spot. This implied I required a carer for every youngster, except nobody could do basically everything. I was altogether restless, Layla was crying seriously in short vehicle excursions and I believed I was confronting an incomprehensible undertaking. Anyway I was likewise resolved to do it, so I needed to discover the fearlessness.

Simultaneously, I was learning The Wise Doll, a variant of a customary story about Baba Yaga, the witch of Slavic and Russian convention, by Haiwyn Oram. Baba Yaga's home is encompassed by a fence made of bones: little bones, since she jumps at the chance to have little kids for supper. It's a really realistic and brutal picture. Her home stands on chicken legs and when she needs to travel she basically directions: "Rise chicken legs, rise and RUN!" and the chicken legs ascend, and the house ascends and the chicken legs convey the entire house forward with the fence of bones encompassing it. The "Too Nice Girl" is sent to Baba Yaga's home in the woodland, in the night to visit Baba Yaga and bring back a blessing. With the assistance of her Wise Doll, given to her by her mom before she kicked the bucket, the scared young lady breezes through three assessments, gains the blessing and her mental fortitude too. In reality the blessing speaks to her fortitude.

The more I practiced it, the more I felt fearlessness ascending in me - for if a youthful frightened young lady could go to the place of a youngster eating witch, alone in the center of the night, what was two weeks acting in Sydney with two little kids?

This is one reason why the unnerving characters in society stories should be so distinctive. In the event that, by relating to a saint or courageous woman in a folktale, you can vicariously encounter confronting and triumphing over an overwhelmingly alarming adversary, at that point confronting your own genuine difficulties appears to be much simpler and do-capable. It is a mentally enabling exper

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topcbdoilhub · 5 years

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psychotherapyconsultants · 5 years

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Podcast: From Homeless to Prisoner to Olympian

In his teens, Tony Hoffman was a BMX Amateur being featured on magazine covers. But soon after, he was a drug addict living in the streets and ultimately ending in prison. After his parole, a now clean Tony returned to the BMX world in a big way: by taking the silver medal in the 2016 Olympics. Since then, Tony has dedicated his life to helping others with addiction issues with his motivational speaking and special projects.

Subscribe to Our Show! And Remember to Review Us!

About Our Guest

After paroling prison on December 13, 2008, Tony Hoffman started living out his dream, with his addiction behind him. Tony is a Former BMX Elite Pro and placed 2nd at the 2016 World Championships in Medellin Colombia in the Masters Pro class. He is a 2016 Rio Olympic Games Coach, with Women’s BMX PRO, Brooke Crain, in his lineup. His story is full of redemption as he has seen some of the highest highs, and the lowest lows. Tony is the Founder and Director of The Freewheel Project, a non-profit organization that mentors thousands of youth through action sports: BMX, skateboarding and after-school programs. The Freewheel Project focuses on teaching kids leadership skills, and making healthy life choices, including substance abuse prevention, each year.

Find Tony on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

TONY HOFFMAN SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator 1: Welcome to the Psych Central show, where each episode presents an in-depth look at issues from the field of psychology and mental health – with host Gabe Howard and co-host Vincent M. Wales.

Gabe Howard: Welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Show podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I’m here with my fellow host, Vincent M. Wales. And today, Vincent and I will be talking to Tony Hoffman, who is a former BMX elite pro and placed second at the 2016 World Championship in the Masters Pro class. Tony, welcome to the show.

Tony Hoffman: hanks for having me, guys.

Vincent M. Wales: Glad you could make it with us here. You know, Tony, what you’ve accomplished is pretty incredible. I mean, I think anybody would be very proud to have achieved the things that you have. What makes your accomplishments so fascinating, especially for our show, is what your life was like prior to that. Can you tell us about it?

Tony Hoffman: Yeah. The foundation of me being a speaker is obviously my past life. You know, I was on the cover of a magazine at 18 years old. I was endorsed by gigantic action sports corporations like Fox Racing, AirWalk shoes, Spy sunglasses. I was ranked number one in the country that my senior year going into the final race. And a lot of people at that time would have said or assumed that I was going to be an extremely successful person and racing BMX. And that’s not quite what ended up happening. About that same time, 18 years old, I started smoking weed and drinking alcohol, much like many other people that I was going to school with. What I didn’t know at that time when I started smoking weed and drinking was that I was going to be one of many addicts in my group of friends that would not be able to control their drug use and it would escalate from marijuana and drinking to use of cocaine. And then finally, the one that became, you know, kind of my doomsday drug was the introduction of prescription painkillers, specifically OxyContin started at 18 years old. By the time I was 21 years old, I committed a home invasion, armed robbery and robbed a family friend. I robbed his parents in their home for their OxyContin prescription that they had.

Tony Hoffman: And I was basically what I call people a pharmaceutical junkie. I had no idea that the stuff that came out of the orange bottle was the same stuff that came from the cartel. It was just packaged different. And because of this pack is different. You know, I automatically assume that it was OK. But, you know, I didn’t go to prison after that robbery. My parents spent a bunch of money on an attorney after I was finally apprehended for that crime. And it kept me out of prison. I wasn’t aware of all the things I was going to need to do to actually get clean and sober, stay clean and sober. And within two years of that moment, I was completely homeless. And when I say homeless, I don’t mean that I was couch surfing. If I got a couch, I was lucky. I slept in dirt fields, slept behind dumpsters, pushing shopping carts. And on January 21st, 2007, I had a spiritual experience that changed the course of my life. On January 22nd, I was arrested and I was sentenced to four and a half years in prison, 30 days later. And that’s where I chose to rebuild my life, to set myself on a path to accomplish the things that I’ve accomplished today.

Vincent M. Wales: Wow.

Gabe Howard: Wow. That’s a lot. There’s several questions that spring to mind. So we’ll just kind of take them in order. But the first one is, is do you think that all of the pressure that you were under at such a young age contributed to this? And I know you’re not looking for excuses, but I’ve often thought, you know, you’ve got a 17, 18, 19 year old on the cover of national magazines. And what does this do to development? I mean, I just I can’t imagine how I at 40 would react if all of the sudden I had nationwide fame. And, you know, I’m fully baked.

Tony Hoffman: Well, I think there’s some things that need to be stated, and one is a BMX is a niche sport. I was on the cover of the largest BMX magazine in the world, but that’s nothing compared to being on an NBA type cover magazine or some of these other sports that get massive recognition. But I do believe that there was a lot of pressure starting from when I was a young kid with coaches, because they recognized that my potential as an athlete, because I wasn’t just a BMX racer. What I’d tell people was I was a gift. I could play basketball, baseball, soccer, rollerblades, skateboards, BMX, bikes, volleyball, tennis, whatever the sport was. I was always the best. And there was a lot of pressure that came from coaches. But I don’t know that they contributed to the stuff that I went through. But I do know that I didn’t know how to deal with the pressure that was put on me because I didn’t know how to be disciplined. I only wanted to work hard on my own terms. I kind of had the “addict isms” long before I ever tried using drugs. And so I was very selfish and self-centered. I was unwilling to work on somebody else’s terms. I was an un-coachable athlete and I think that those things actually played a bigger role and my substance use issues than, say, the pressure did.

Vincent M. Wales: I think those statements there, Tony, are very insightful and I’m wondering, how did you come to that conclusion?

Tony Hoffman: This is the hardest part of an addict’s journey or somebody who suffers with substance use. And that is there has to be a portion of time in which the individual separates themselves from all distractions. I don’t care if you have to cut the TV out, cut the Internet out, cut the phones out, cut all of that out and cut the busyness out of your life. This is why treatment is so important. This is why we’re not even close when it comes to what real, authentic treatment looks like for an individual, because insurance companies typically give us 30 to 45 days to do this. But when a person can separate themselves from all distractions, they begin to then listen to themselves or hear of themselves and they get time, which is what I did was take this time to relive all of these situations that I went through in my life. When I tell my life story and with youth audiences, I tell these stories that somebody might ask, why did you tell this story? The reason I tell these stories is because in my meditation work in myself, inventory work, these moments that I speak about had a very significant role and where my life went as a result of my attitude and my choices. And so separating myself, spending time meditating and self inventory, allow me to relive situations and take my responsibility and hold myself accountable for the outcomes that had taken place back to when I was in third grade. That was so important to me to understand how just even in third grade I was making decisions, thinking certain ways and having these isms that were producing the product that put me in prison.

Gabe Howard: We’ll be right back after these words.

Narrator 2: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com, secure, convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Vincent M. Wales: Welcome back, everyone. We’re here talking about addiction with BMX pro Tony Hoffman.

Gabe Howard: One of the things I want to say is I really like what you said about how insurance companies and the medical establishment is like, okay, you’re sick. As long as you’re better in 30 to 45 days, we’ll call it a win. But if you’re not, it’s probably your fault and we’ve got no more resources for you. This is not the way that we treat cancer and other physical illnesses. And I think it really leaves a lot of people desperate. One of the other things that you said is that, you know, going to prison kind of helped save your life. And I don’t want anybody to hear this and think, oh, so all the addicts need to go to prison and they’ll all end up being like, Tony, because I know that’s not what you’re saying.

Tony Hoffman: No, it’s not what I’m saying. I went to prison and my neighbors in front of me, behind me, and left of me, and right of me all shot heroin, every single one of them. It was a shooting gallery. There’s more heroin in prison than there is on the street. The guards are not there to help you. The vocational programs in California institutions, they may have been reinstated. I know they’re at least trying to reinstate them. But when I was there, there was nothing in there to facilitate recovery. I’m not the rule. And I tried to tell my probation department and judicial factions all over the country, don’t put me on a pedestal. My job is not to run around and say, look at me, look what I did. Everybody else should be able to do it, too, because that’s not the case. I’m a very, very, very small, small percentage of an exception. The rule is most people need long term treatment. The rule is most people need social programs or exit programs that are long term mentorships to help these individuals who go into gang ridden neighborhoods, who’ve been through foster care their entire life, who have not had a mom and dad who’ve been married 43 years and an upper middle class financial status. That’s what I had. I had all of the things that I needed. What I didn’t have was the attitude, choices and an addiction that I didn’t get to choose whether or not I was going to have in my life. And so the answer is not institutions in terms of jailing. The answer is social programs, treatment and mentoring programs that can help individuals overcome whatever specific hurdle they have in their life. And there’s many, many that need to be addressed individually.

Gabe Howard: You know, it’s a very powerful thing that you said there, that one of the ways that you were able to get well is because, you know, you had a good family, a good support system. You were upper middle class. Your parents were married to each other. And they loved you very much and they tried very hard. But you’ve got to put that against the fact that even though you had all of those things, addictions still played a huge role in your life. So even with all of those things, you couldn’t avoid it, but you needed all of those things to help get through it. And then you can really start to see the breadth of the addiction issue in America. It’s not as simple as, oh, well, they come from bad homes or well, if your parents weren’t divorced or well, if you had money or tried harder, there’s all these little corners that everybody tries to shove this problem in. And I think that your story illustrates very well that whatever corner you have, it doesn’t matter. It’s addiction has no reason. And it can really hit anybody.

Tony Hoffman: It can hit anybody. And I will tell you right now that I’ve been sober for almost 12 years. And the hardest person to get to listen to you as an addict is the person with money. They cannot let go of the belief system that their money will fix things. Their money has made them better than people. Their money has deluded them. All of these opportunities and that they’re not like those other people. And we’ve communicated this to the baby boomers, Gen X and the early millennials through the D.A.R.E. program that said stay away from PCP, cocaine, crack, methamphetamine, heroin, LSD, those drugs. We knew that those drugs were only found on the other side of town. The other side of town was lower socioeconomic. They were different color skin. They had all of the gangs. They didn’t say anything about the orange bottle because the orange bottle was people who had insurance and went to doctors and the doctors prescribe them the medications that they would become addicted to. And so we separated ourselves because our money put us in a different region of how drugs would be administered to us. And so letting go of those belief systems when you have financial status is extremely difficult.

Gabe Howard: You know, you make a good point about like the D.A.R.E. program and things like that. I went through the D.A.R.E. program and you’re right, it always showed a well-dressed 15 year old. And then somebody would come up dressed like, who knows what? But clearly somebody that didn’t belong in the neighborhood and they would offer to sell you drugs. And they taught you how to say no. You were never offered drugs by your peer group. You were never offered drugs by somebody dressed like you. You were always offered drugs by somebody who stumbled upon your schoolyard, no doubt, to victimize you.

Tony Hoffman: I’m so glad you brought that up, because in my speeches, at times I will tell kids when I was a young kid, I remember this commercial. There were in the end of a hallway where the lockers are in and this little weak, measly looking kid goes into his locker. And then this big bully looking guy comes up and he says, “Hey, Johnny, want to smoke a joint?” And it’s like, just say no. And then slams a locker. That’s what they told us peer pressure was when I was a kid. They didn’t tell us that peer pressure actually looked like this. You’re going to have a group of friends that you went to elementary school with, intermediate school with, slumber parties, ski trips, family vacations. And one day three of your friends are gonna decide that they’re going to start smoking weed and that there is a component in you that does not want to experience what it’s like to lose your friends and be lonely. And so you have a choice. You either have what it takes inside of you to decide that this is not who I am. I can be alone and make new friends, or you are going to be overcome by the fear of losing friends and being alone, and you will end up doing the same thing that they do. That’s what peer pressure looks like. It’s not the bad guy coming up to you. Nobody ever offered me drugs that didn’t like me. It was always my best friends.

Gabe Howard: That’s a very good point.

Vincent M. Wales: Wow. I was just going to say we need to do a show on peer pressure. But I think we just did it.

Gabe Howard: Yeah. And you’re right. All the peer…

Vincent M. Wales: Tony, that was great.

Gabe Howard: Tony, you’re absolutely right. That’s what peer pressure looked like for me. It was never my enemies that wanted to hang out with me and do anything. It was always my friends that wanted to hang out with me and do something that got us in trouble.

Tony Hoffman: And you’ve got to strip it down to an emotional level, like we’re talking about emotional awareness right now. When you look at peer pressure, somebody might say, well, I never experienced peer pressure that way. You did. If you can stop, remove yourself and you can examine all of the emotions that are at play in those situations. One hundred percent. That’s exactly what it looks like. We’re talking emotional awareness of what people are experiencing in those moments and what drives us to make the decisions that we make, because that’s what it is. There’s layers beneath the cognitive level that we can understand and see that are actually driving us as human beings, assisting us in the choices that we make, they’re survival instincts, whether we know it or not.

Vincent M. Wales: That’s also very insightful. Thank you. I want to go back to something you said a little earlier, which was that addiction isn’t a choice. You didn’t choose to become addicted to anything.

Tony Hoffman: Mm hmm.

Vincent M. Wales: A lot of people out there will say, OK, sure, nobody chooses to become an addict, but they do choose to start using those drugs in the first place.

Tony Hoffman: I say to those folks, what is the statistic of people that have never drank one time in their lives, or smoked weed or a cigarette? I am telling you right now, that number is far less than it is people that tried it. And so my thing is, if most of us have tried a substance at one time in our lives and you didn’t become addicted to it, what you’re choosing to do in that moment is take the reality that was your life and say it didn’t happen to me, shouldn’t happen to them. But not everybody is alike. If it was, we’d all die from cancer or we’d all die from heart failure because we’re all robots. We don’t live the same realities. We don’t have the same bodies. If it was my choice tonight, I’d be able to sit down with my family and I’d have a glass of wine. But I can’t because that glass of wine will kill me. That wasn’t my choice. When I started smoking weed, I said, I’m just going to smoke weed one time. I just want to try it and see what it’s like. What I didn’t understand was I had a lot of emotional issues anxiety, depression, these mental health issues. And so I didn’t have good self-esteem that were looming me into these regions that would allow me to make a decision to smoke weed so I could fit in. But then when I started smoking weed, what would happen after that? That wasn’t my choice. So you can’t blame me for making a choice that 95 percent of other people are doing. It’s what happened. It’s what happened after I make that choice. It’s not a lack of willpower. That’s one of the biggest reasons why I picked up the microphone. I went from a prison cell to the Olympics. When it comes to willpower, most people will tell you I have an abundance of it. But as soon as I put a drink in my body, I put a drug in my body. I have none. I can’t stop it. That’s what I didn’t get to choose. And that’s what I wish didn’t happen to me because like I said, I’d love to be able to sit down with a friend or go to a function, have a glass of wine, have a beer, or get injured and take a pain killer the way it’s prescribed and then stop and not have a problem. But that’s not me. That wasn’t the card that I was dealt, unfortunately.

Gabe Howard: I think it’s incredibly profound. The way that you said is we’re not all the same. So I can do something and have a different outcome than when you do the exact same thing, because we’re not all robots, because I think that we understand that when it comes to achievement. For example, if I tried to ride a BMX bike and I worked as hard as I could, I would never be as good as you. I have a different body type. I’m you know, maybe I don’t have the same muscle mass. Maybe my shoulders are too broad. I’m too tall. Who knows? But the point is, is that hard work.

Tony Hoffman: Right.

Gabe Howard: Didn’t get all of those other people that tried to beat you in the Olympics up to your level. You were, what, the second best in the world?

Tony Hoffman: Second best in the world in 2016. That’s after I’d stopped racing for three years. My athletes challenged me to come back and try and win the world championships three years out after I put a bike away and I showed up at the world championships and took a second place.

Gabe Howard: But you gotta figure that the third place person worked just as hard as you and wanted it just as bad.

Tony Hoffman: Yeah. One hundred percent.

Gabe Howard: That’s the point, though. You both wanted the exact same thing and got different outcomes. And people understand that. We understand that when it comes to sports competition and everything else. But for some reason we talk about, you know, more negative things like things like drug addiction. It’s like, well, I smoked pot and didn’t become an addict and you smoked pot and did so therefore your lazy defective and didn’t want it as bad. You chose this. It’s all your fault. And that’s really just kind of what I wanted to put out there. Just nobody would think that when it comes to anything else. We don’t think that the losing team just didn’t want to win.

Tony Hoffman: Right. Right. And this is where we go back to the surgical board. We started dissecting thought processes and belief systems and personal biases. And when a person is unwilling to use sound logic like you just presented, it’s all being blocked by personal biases and belief systems that were created when they were young individuals. They’re not aware of those belief systems at play and how they’re an improper use of survival instinct and how they push their reality onto other people is they’re unwilling to accept that somebody else could make the same choices as them and it affect them completely different because maybe they want to believe that all drug addicts come from bad areas. Drug addicts are bad people. Drug addicts are a result of bad parenting. All of these belief systems or personal biases that they’ve created from somewhere in their life growing up, they’re not aware of them, but they’re willing to push them on to other people.

Vincent M. Wales: Tony, this has been a fantastic talk

Gabe Howard: Excellent.

Vincent M. Wales: We’ve covered so many different aspects of human life in this past 20 minutes. And I thank you for that. What message would you give to our listeners that you want them to walk away with?

Tony Hoffman: I tell people this. When I was homeless, the worst thing about me being homeless was not not having a house or a place to stay. It was this stuff that people threw at me. It was the jokes that people made when they saw me in a liquor store asking for money or change because I was hungry or thirsty. It was the looks that the nurses gave me or the doctors gave me when I ended up in an E.R. And those things contributed to my shame and my guilt. I was never asked by any individual, “What’s your story? Are you OK? Do you need help? Is there anything I can do for you?” One of those conversations could have changed my life. And when we see people that are struggling on the street, especially homeless, we have a big homeless problem right now across our country. Every time I see one of those individuals, I ask myself, I wonder what his or her story is. I wonder where it all started. Were they in foster care? Were they sexually abused? Do they have a mom and dad? What was the social construction of their life and where did it go wrong? This is where their story has taken them. How do we help that individual? How do we understand that individual? Those are the things that we should be asking ourselves as human beings. We should be trying to understand somebody’s situation instead of pushing our reality onto other people and judging their situation without ever knowing it. We’re never going to cross any kind of lines and get people to help that they need in all kinds of arenas. If we don’t start trying to understand individuals more, because even though I was on the cover of the magazine, came from a family that was married for 43 years, upper middle class, I still experienced some of these situations in which people would say that person is a piece of, you know what. That person will never provide to our country. Why am I paying taxes for that person? Nobody ever stopped and asked me. I didn’t want to be that way. I’m blessed and so fortunate that my life is the way it is. That’s why I picked up a microphone. That’s why I do podcasts like this. That’s why I try to get people to understand. We need to start asking and trying to understand people and their situations so we can actually get people to help that they need.

Vincent M. Wales: Thank you, Tony. I wish more people thought like you do.

Gabe Howard: Amen. Amen.

Tony Hoffman: I’m doing my part. Guys, I’m really trying.

Gabe Howard: You’re doing great work. Where can our listeners find you if they want to connect with you after the show?

Tony Hoffman: Absolutely. Instagram – TonyMHoffman, Facebook – TonyHoffmanSpeaking. You can find my web tonyhoffmanspeaking.com. If you’re interested in any kind of my presentations. And I do health care presentations, colleges, Division I sports programs, high schools, middle schools, communities. You can find my website, tonyhoffmanspeaking.com. Also, I have my own personal podcast called One Choice. It’s found on iTunes, Spotify and Google Play, our Google podcast app, Just search for “Tony Hoffman one choice.” You’ll find the podcast. I talk a lot about the mechanics that have made me successful. I have a trading war stories that’s kind of entertainment. But we also talk a lot about recovery. Try and push the conversation forward and moving, removing stigmas and so forth. So find me on any of those outlets, I’d love to have you guys be a part of my journey.

Vincent M. Wales: Great. Thank you.

Gabe Howard: Thank you so much, Tony, for being here. We appreciate it. And thank you, everyone else for tuning in. And remember, you can get a week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counselling anytime, anywhere by visiting BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We will see everyone next week.

Narrator 1: Thank you for listening to the Psych Central Show. Please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes or wherever you found this podcast. We encourage you to share our show on social media and with friends and family. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/show. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website. Psych Central is overseen by Dr. John Grohol, a mental health expert and one of the pioneering leaders in online mental health. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who travels nationally. You can find more information on Gabe at GabeHoward.com. Our co-host, Vincent M. Wales, is a trained suicide prevention crisis counselor and author of several award-winning speculative fiction novels. You can learn more about Vincent at VincentMWales.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email [email protected].

About The Psych Central Show Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He is also one of the co-hosts of the popular show, A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. As a speaker, he travels nationally and is available to make your event stand out. To work with Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Vincent M. Wales is a former suicide prevention counselor who lives with persistent depressive disorder. He is also the author of several award-winning novels and creator of the costumed hero, Dynamistress. Visit his websites at www.vincentmwales.com and www.dynamistress.com.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-from-homeless-to-prisoner-to-olympian/

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erraticfairy · 5 years

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Podcast: From Homeless to Prisoner to Olympian

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TONY HOFFMAN SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Tony Hoffman: hanks for having me, guys.

Vincent M. Wales: Wow.

Vincent M. Wales: I think those statements there, Tony, are very insightful and I’m wondering, how did you come to that conclusion?

Gabe Howard: We’ll be right back after these words.

Vincent M. Wales: Welcome back, everyone. We’re here talking about addiction with BMX pro Tony Hoffman.

Gabe Howard: That’s a very good point.

Vincent M. Wales: Wow. I was just going to say we need to do a show on peer pressure. But I think we just did it.

Gabe Howard: Yeah. And you’re right. All the peer…

Vincent M. Wales: Tony, that was great.

Tony Hoffman: Mm hmm.

Vincent M. Wales: A lot of people out there will say, OK, sure, nobody chooses to become an addict, but they do choose to start using those drugs in the first place.

Tony Hoffman: Right.

Gabe Howard: Didn’t get all of those other people that tried to beat you in the Olympics up to your level. You were, what, the second best in the world?

Gabe Howard: But you gotta figure that the third place person worked just as hard as you and wanted it just as bad.

Tony Hoffman: Yeah. One hundred percent.

Vincent M. Wales: Tony, this has been a fantastic talk

Gabe Howard: Excellent.

Vincent M. Wales: Thank you, Tony. I wish more people thought like you do.

Gabe Howard: Amen. Amen.

Tony Hoffman: I’m doing my part. Guys, I’m really trying.

Gabe Howard: You’re doing great work. Where can our listeners find you if they want to connect with you after the show?

Vincent M. Wales: Great. Thank you.

About The Psych Central Show Podcast Hosts

from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2FIPw2M via theshiningmind.com

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