#the way my reply is long bc I got excited responding LMAO

[ventismacchiato]

Same anon who sent that ask that triggered that avalanche of trolling.

I just wanna say, I'm sorry for being hypocritical when I said you were rude, but I did not mean you were rude by setting boundaries (even tho that was never a topic of debate for us, I'd always respected your boundaries)

I meant rude as in, you used to be very...dry? You could say? when I sent asks but then you'd be super nice to other people who sent asks so I felt like you just had something against me.

My reason for staying anonymous isn't because I'm afraid of confronting you face-to-face, it's because I know that if I were to try and talk to you ab this personally, I'd just get the same response, and if I were to send the ask without being anonymous, the asks clowning on me would be sitting in my inbox rn.

And I get WHY people r clowning on me. I sent an ask on a topic sensitive to me thru anon and my choice of words r similar to that of an emo 14 yr old boy on reddit.

But in my defense, if Kai hasn't been rude to you personally, doesn't mean they might not have been rude to me. And I use rude due to a lack of better words.

Bottom line is: I was hurt by Kai's difference in personality when it came to my asks (which never pressured them about updates btw bc I never rlly followed their smaus much) and I took to anon to try and tell it to them, albeit in a v poor worded manner.

I'm sorry that so many of your fans seemed personally attacked by me expressing my opinion but I'm more sorry that I couldn't just talk to you about this directly.

(also b4 anyone repeats the old insult of "get a job"... I'm already training to become a CA. I have a life outside of Tumblr and I log in very rarely. It may not seem that way because of my previous ask, but Kai isn't on my mind 24/7. I just logged back in after a month and their ask were on my 'following' page and in the spur of the moment, I typed out the ask.

I assure yall I'm very content in life and (in response to one of the asks telling me to shower💀) take very good care of my hygiene (lmao???). Some of the responses I got were VERY hilarious, I'll agree, even I laughed at a few of them.

I know my previous ask gave a lot of people second-hand embarrassment (this one will too probably lmfao I can't win) and this is getting too long so I'll just say: not the intention, just wanted my feelings acknowledged.

Thank you and Goodbye.

This seems like a script to a YouTube apology video lmao.

oh my god…

DRY ≠ RUDE

so are you just upset i didn’t treat you like a friend or?? genuinely don’t understand how me ever being dry is considered rude to you, have you ever considered the asks you sent didnt give me room to respond with more excitement? i receive a lot of asks in a day so i cant always be all !!! to every single one. it’s a little over the top to accuse me of being rude when all i supposedly did was not match the same energy. you said so yourself you weren’t active and i tended to be more excited talking to my regular anons.

i didnt have anything against you, maybe a little now because this is ridiculous, but if someone online replying to you dry causes you that much hurt then maybe this app isn’t for you. we don’t need to talk about this directly because there isn’t anything to talk about.

goodbye!

[choiraugur]

So you've mentioned that you like all the Soulsborne games, not just Bloodborne, but which Soulsborne was your first exposure to the series? What made you want to check them all out, and what is your favorite thing about them (each individually or in general as they also have reoccurring themes? nobody trolls people in power like they do xd) .

Also I can't forget you asking me about Creighton so I assume you like DS2 as well (rare but huge W in these trying times vvhjgjjg). Who are your DS2 favs? 🌛

I need you to know that I had to pause for like one hour after getting this ask because I got so excited to respond to it that I couldn’t think straight enough to properly manage a reply with actual words. in fact what I’ve written down here isn’t as eloquent or articulate as id want it to be but. autism works in funny ways so the best I can do rn is say words and giggle to myself with glee

im putting the reply under a cut bc it’s long af also lmao

the first dark souls was my initial exposure to the series as a whole! I got into it some years ago but I don’t think I was as invested in it then as I am now. I’ve always loved the themes of the series and the gameplay was, despite all the frustration, very fun and engaging so I wanted to check out more souls games after it. Dsi remains my favourite game of all time along with bloodborne btw! I would blame it on nostalgia but honestly the game really does have so much to offer. dark souls i meatriding is very cliche but there’s a good reason for that yk. Nothing teaches you patience like dark souls. (this game also has one of my two favourite characters of all time, gwyndolin! they managed to create a transgender allegory that speaks so closely to me- from familial expectations to the desire to be seen and recognised by the family that constantly neglects you and shames you for your very existence to the point where your identity ceases to exist because you are trying so desperately to belong. you try to forge yourself into the perfect shape but the core of the problem lies not in the shape of your identity, but your very existence. the unending cultist devotion to the people who made your life hell because this is all you have. I love gwyndolin so much)

I moved to dark souls ii after and honestly loved it (and still love it) very much. I feel like people give it too much shit and criticise it too quickly because of its reputation, which is a shame because it has so much to offer. The lore is so rich and the gameplay can get so fun if you just give it a chance. I agree that the start is difficult, but isn’t this true with every new fromsoft game you play? The thing I really love about soulsborne games is that there is a learning curve. Absolutely anybody can finish these games even if they are a terrible gamer because of the fact there is a learning curve. And sure it’s a frustrating one a lot of the time, but when you get comfortable enough with the mechanics and become more confident in playing, the experience becomes so so fun and rewarding. The estus problems people always complain about at the beginning of the game honestly stop being a noticeable issue after you discover items that help you replace this bother. I can 100% see why somebody would dislike dsii because it unfortunately went through developement hell, but I do believe that 98% of the time people judge this game too quickly and too harshly just because of the negative reputation it has. It sucks that they don’t give it a chance. I’ve seen so many people have an opinion on it (always a bleak one) without even playing it themselves also which is so dumb. At least play it man. Idk. It gets the second-installation-in-a-series curse I guess. dsii fans need to stick together and call it the best game oat to piss everyone else off

i got into bloodborne after dsi and dsii, i think I started playing bloodborne in mid 2021? Not that long ago but it has been my absolute favourite thing in the world ever since. SO much about it has kept me around because it manages to cater to so many of my general special interests lol. I’ve always loved cosmic horror and the victorian era of medicine. religion (and how those in power can use religion to control the masses) is another thing i always end up getting fixated on, so bloodborne was just the perfect thing for me. I love the themes! And characters! And designs! And gameplay mechanics! The world building! Everything is so so good. The thing that has mainly kept me around so intensely is how important exploration and personal interpretation is with this game. this is honestly my favourite thing about all spulsborne games actually- fromsoft never gives you any direct answers, and we are still finding new things about bloodborne several years after its release which is insane. It has just an endless amount of things to offer, I can’t say ENOUGH about it. I could write pages upon pages on why I love bloodborne so much, it’s difficult to keep my answer here concise. All I can say is it consumes my every thought every second of the day. Very good.

Dsiii was the last soulsborne game i got into (not fromsoft tho, that was elden ring, which i somehow only got into on august of 2023) i love dsiii because i love the dark souls series so so much in general, but for some reason it’s my least favourite out of all spulsborne games. The story and bosses are all super cool and i loved the conclusion it provided for the series, but it’s the one i find the least entertaining? or not the least entertaining, but it’s the one I think about the least. maybe it’s because i still kind of experience it as a. second version of bloodborne since i played bloodborne before ds3 lol. which is an unfair judgement but I can’t let go of that feeling it gives me for some reason. great game but I end up fixating more on the others fsr

navlaan is my favourite character in ds2 also! i love a little fucked up sorcerer. I need more grey thinking. good and bad mean nothing in the name of acquiring knowledge. nuance is required to understand navlaan and its why I often avoid reading stuff about him lol.

I’m realising my response to your ask focuses more on just my personal experience with the games rather than what it is within them that I love, I didn’t really get into detail about that at all lol but. I already said so much 💀

[1d1195]

Hi bestie boo!! Long time no chat I’m so sorry😭 I hope you’ve been doing well and class is too (if that has started)!

Hopped on here and immediately checked your page (as I do), and I lol’d at the forgetting-her-birthday trope you mentioned, because 3/4 of my bsfs forgot my birthday 🤣 and the one that did remember is one of those extremely unaffectionate ppl, so at midnight he hit me with a “ugh it’s your birthday so happy birthday I guess”😂 the others didn’t even text me until two days later when I made an fb post saying thanks for the birthday wishes. I do it like that bc it stresses me out replying to all the posts, so I just ♥️or🥰 all of them and make one post after. There’s only so many ways to type thank you 😂 but I literally teared up when I saw your post for me bc oh my god you’re the best 😭

Side note: I got the new lab job! I have a meeting with them on Monday, so tbd on what’s going to happen at that. But I’m excited! Especially since so much shit has been going down at my current lab 💀 not too excited for fall term to start lmao

-👩🏻‍🔬

Hi! I've missed you!

Classes have start. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by AP Calc. Can't remember some stuff. It comes back pretty easily but there's weird little nuances that I don't remember. Also have 0% recollection of how the exam works.

MEN ARE TRASH. Sorry. That's aggressive. I love my bf but that's so shitty about your bday. I know so many people who don't give a shit about their birthday and I swear it's because people don't hype them up enough. It's why I LOVE birthdays. I get what you mean about saying thank you on Facebook posts. I stopped wishing other people happy birthday on Facebook and now I get less posts I have to respond to. I try to text my closest friends when I want to wish them a happy birthday. I love celebrating bdays though. I love giving gifts. Probs more than receiving them. I love personalizing and thinking about how much I love the people in my life and getting something I think they would love. You're so sweet! I hope you had a great bday! 💕

LOVE THAT FOR YOU! Congrats!!! 🎉 I knew you were going to get it! What great timing if your current lab is having issues. What's on your schedule for this fall term? I'm sure you'll crush it!

Thanks for checking in! 💕

xoxo

[stayxlix]

hi hi alex🩵🩵 I am back once again! I'm still recovering from the fact that you actually ARE weaving some of the trope into otde.. LIKE HOLY SHIT AHAHWJWKWKEJSJ AND ANGRY PASSI0N YES I love that you think the same as i do bc everything u said is so true i can't😭

and you are so right, enemies to lovers on top! I also like a good portion of angst and tension ( angry love confessions are literally why i live and i would gladly die for them) but it has to have a happy ending tho.. like make me cry seventy times and go from wanting to jump off a bridge to cursing the characters BuT!!! gIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!

also, I've gotten settled in my new apartment almost completely, and i also moved to another town so i've also been taking care of that but so far it's amazing here!

And of course I love the way you write the tension between lix and mc! no seriously it's so fun to read and really engulf myself in the story (fantasising about otde may have or may have not became my fav way to relax/ get rid of some excessive stress) and it makes me even happier that the author of such a masterpiece finds time in her day to reply to my long ass rants and actually read through them!💗 Literally whenever I read your replies I always blush and squeal andbjqkqkqjwje (also thank u for the forehead kiss!🩵🩵🫶 sending one back ur way deatest)

ANDDDD I HAVE A SURPRISE!!! THE MOODBOARD IS HERE !!!!!

https://pin.it/261Fohe (if the link doesn't work lmk💗) IT HAS 52 PINS SO NOT TOO LONG AND I TRIED MIXING SOME DIFFERENT SHADES OF GREEN SO HOPEFULLY YOU'LL LIKE IT 🩵

Aand I'm so glad that you agree with me on Lix being dark red!! also i've been thinking and i feel like mc is the kind of green that kinda leans into blue? I'll try to find the shade and then share it with u!🫶 (bc of course I'm gonna share it with u I love talking to u like this sm omfg) i've already started on the red moodboard bc I got this surge of motivation yesterday at like four in the morning☠️

I'm honestly so so so so so excited not only for the next otde chap, but also for your response and to hear what you think about the moodboard! I tried to really show how I feel like when reading the story, though it's not exactly the way I see it since I couldn't find some specific pics on pinterest but I tried my best anyway! 💗 (also the Vans thing has been creeping up my mind lately and I have absolutely no idea why help - maybe it's bc I myself wear Vans and feel like the mc would wear them too😭)

You are making me blush so hard rn with the last paragraph omfg I love u sm😭😭 I am in all honesty so glad I've descovered you and your blog bc it's been seriously brightening my days by a LOT lately, so of course i'm gonna spend my time on it! I love making things related to otde and you!! Even more so if it makes you happy!🩵 you definitely deserve all the love in this world and i really hope you're having the best time of your life! Honestly, the longer your responses are, the better bc I love LOVE LOVE reading them and finding out your thoughts! I appreciate you so so much and, seriously, thank you for taking the time of your precious day and responding to me, love🩵💗

As always, stay safe and take care! 🩵 wish you the best week possible 🩵 (and did I ever mention that the way you write Felix makes him somehow just as attractive as irl and I have a fat crush on him...??)

hiiii my🩵 its so good to hear from youuu :) i know it can be scary moving to another town (i think i moved like four times by myself, including to two completely new cities before finding the place i am now) so im really glad you’re settling in and liking your new apartment🩵🩵🩵

i promise i plan to do my very best to weave our new favorite trope into the coming chapters🤭🩵 “angry love confessions are literally why i live” LMAO me with any form of media ever that includes romance😂😂 “cry seventy times” this made me laugh even harder, but im totally with you, i MUST have a happy ending to feel completely satisfied after reading/watching something. imo its what makes all of the angst and tension worth it in the end :)

“fantasising about otde may have or may have not became my fav way to relax/ get rid of some excessive stress”

noOoOoo babe this makes me SO happy to hear😭😭 you saying that my little story is a source of relaxation and stress relief for you is like the ultimate compliment, and i’m sure anyone who’s ever written anything for an audience before would agree🥹 it makes me even more happy to hear this because its YOU saying it and you have no idea how much i value your opinion😭 i swear after i read one of your asks it makes me feel so genuinely happy and full of energy that im pretty sure i could go out and run a marathon😂😂 it’s the best feeling ever, and you should know that i always find myself getting all flustered when i read your messages too, its like a big warm hug and i love it so very much💕💕

THE. MOODBOARD.

NO BECAUSE THIS DESERVES AN ENTIRE RANT OF ITS OWN I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN SEE HOW MUCH THOUGHT YOU PUT INTO IT BECAUSE EVERY PICTURE FITS THE STORY SO WELL😭😭😭 YOU WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS😭 i wish you could have seen my reaction when i first opened the link, it is the PERFECT visual journey to accompany the story and i could actually CRY i can’t-😭😭😭 the shades of green you picked are gorgeous and the whole feel is a little bit ominous?? (maybe haunting??) idk the right word for it but it is the EXACT vibe i associate with the story while i'm writing, so you absolutely nailed it yet again. i wish we could go through and discuss every single picture and your thought process behind each (i’m serious, my dms are always open😂) and its hilarious that you started on the red moodboard at 4am but hey, inspiration strikes when it wants to, right?😂😂 dare i say i am even more excited to see how this one turns out?? (oh and i was thinking that our mc might wear red vans?? bc idk they remind her of felix???🤭)

i'm so thrilled to hear that you’re excited for the next chapter, ill let you in on a little secret..its coming along nicely, but the problem is that i’ve got waaayyyy too many words so far (help) and its not quite finished yet so i definitely need to condense lol but i’m realllllllyyyyy really hoping to have it out some time later next week (if all goes to plan🥹) and im just as excited to share it with you, so stay tuned🤭

thank you for being so wonderful 🩵🩵 your support and enthusiasm for this story and our conversations mean the world to me🥹 and i know i’ve said it before but you and the amazing content you have created and chosen to share with me is SUCH a source of motivation (i now find myself thinking about you when im writing and wondering if you'll like where the story is going or certain parts etc. etc.) because that is how much you and your interactions mean to me. you make all of the time spent on writing worth it and i am so very thankful to have you not only as a reader but also a friend<333

....OH and to hear that you have a crush on otde felix makes me SO giddy🤭🤭🤭 to be honest...for similar reasons..sometimes I need to take a break when im writing and remind myself that none of this is real (including our favorite angsty rebel boy🥹)

okay okay i think this officially takes the record for the longest rant ever written on this website, so i'll end things here lol. stay safe and take care of yourself out there🩵🩵let's finish out the week strong, okay?? sending the biggest hug your way🤗 ilysm💕💕

[meltwonu]

| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 |     [Chapter 1] 

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader

this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, dom!wonwoo, dirty talk, masturbation, sex toys, mentions of sexting/sending photos/videos, baby this has hella plot lmao dkhf 🥴💕 WELCOME TO UNTIL I MET YOU!! THE MINI-SEQUEL TO CAFFEINE! A bit of a shorter chapter but I didn’t want to overload with too much everything in the first chapter, ykwim? 😎 Thank you so much for your patience with this sequel, I know there were a ton of people asking for a sequel for months after I said I would 💕😭😭 As always, inbox roundup tomorrow! And don’t forget, next chapter for UIMY goes up on Feb 26th! T|H ch 1 next Friday! 🥰💕 Enjoy ch 1, have a great weekend and I love you! 💕

chapters; 1 - x - x - x - x

“Mmh… Wonwoo…”

His hands roam all over your naked body; warmth spreading all over when he digs his blunt fingernails into the skin of your waist.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Did you miss me, sweetheart?” His voice is soft, gentle, yet teasing; barely above a whisper as your back bows off of the bed to lean into his simple touches. “I missed you, sweetheart. Missed your ‘lil cunt too.”

A choked sob falls from your lips, followed quickly by rushed, hurried cries for Wonwoo to move faster.

“Don’t you want me to take my time? We haven’t seen each other in months.” 

There’s a smirk on his lips, eyes twinkling with mischief when you reply back with a shaky whine. “Don’t you want me to slide my cock into your pretty ‘lil pussy nice ‘n slow? Let you feel every inch of me filling you up, just like it’s the first time all over again.” He stares at you dreamily; fixated on the way your body chases his hands when he drags them down to your thighs. “Or would you prefer it if I fucked you hard and fast? Your cute body squirming and trembling from how good I give it to you and my cock slamming into your tight ‘lil cunt.”

Wonwoo’s fingertips spread your folds as he licks his lips; appreciating how wet you already were for him.

“Bet your toys don’t feel as good as the real thing, huh?”

You shake your head ‘no’ furiously, “N-no, god, no! Wonwoo, p-please!” The male grins down at you, pouting mockingly at your desperate, pleading eyes. 

The wetness between your legs is unbearable and the sobs are caught in your throat when Wonwoo leans over you, lips ghosting across your own.

“Okay. Just say--”

You’re shocked awake by your alarm clock; chest heaving in deep breaths as you sit up in your crumpled sheets. “Oh, fuck...” Groaning, your clammy palms reach for the ringing device as you shut it off and sigh.

The clock reads 10:02AM; tired eyes trying to blink away the sleep that threatens to take you back to the dreamland you much preferred. Although, dreaming about Wonwoo was becoming a little bit too common these last few days.

Sighing once more, you move to get out of bed; already finding your panties soaking wet and sticking to you like a second skin when you stand.

“Ugh... Damn it.”

You press the vibrator harder onto your clit; teeth chattering with the pleasure that pours over your body.

“Oh, god, please, p-please…”

Images of Wonwoo dance behind your eyelids; sultry smirks and teasing glances bringing you closer and closer to the edge of an orgasm.

If there was anything that the last few months without Wonwoo taught you, it was that you couldn’t afford to lose him - in more ways than one. And despite his lack of calls or even text messages, you held out in hopes he still felt the same way that you did despite the distance.

You sent him pictures and videos of yourself often; teasing images half naked, toys in hand, and videos crying out his name while you came. And while he took the time to reply to those with praise and adoration, he almost never sent anything back. 

When he did, it was always short, clipped replies of how exhausted he was and how he didn’t have much time.

“Ngh, h-harder…” Your toes curl against the bedsheet; phantom feelings of his cock fucking you hard and deep making you cry out in desperation to be filled by his cock.

Your phone rings on the nightstand next to you as you cum - vibrator pressed so hard against your clit that your back bows off of the sheets while your thighs shake uncontrollably. 

And for the first time in a long time, it’s an orgasm that feels like it’s worth something.

‘Gyu: hey did wonwoo text u?

‘Gyu: he’s back next monday he said

‘Gyu: idk abt classes tho, might be out of commission for a while bc jetlag

‘Gyu: thinking abt throwing him a party on friday after he comes back...

‘Gyu: u wanna plan with us orrrrr? U got a private party or sth 🥴😏

‘Gyu: lmk

You’re nervous. Shy, even.

After you’d come down from your orgasm and checked your phone, your mind momentarily went blank from shock and the first thing you’d done was text Wonwoo to ask if he was really coming back that soon.

‘Ah, yeah, I was just about to text you. Prof said we can go home early if we wanted since we finished up classes. I’ll see you sometime next week? Jetlag and stuff.’, was all he had said and in your excited state, the only thing you had responded with was an, ‘Okay, great!’, without asking when, where, or what time.

You figured you’d give him some time to readjust instead of bombarding him as soon as he got in. But each second that you knew Wonwoo was home, you found yourself itching to just be in his presence.

You just had to be a little more patient.

Wednesday morning comes and you find yourself skipping your morning class to go to the library.

For studying, you tell yourself.

The male at the receptionist table shoots you a small smile to which you awkwardly smile back before ducking into an empty aisle. All you knew was that it seemed like Wonwoo wasn’t here.

Maybe he’s still at the frat house, you wonder.

Sighing slightly under your breath, you decide that maybe getting some work done would actually help distract you from looking for the male.

You find an empty table, setting your things down before pulling out your phone. 

In all honesty, you weren’t even sure why you were being so shy and nervous about contacting Wonwoo, especially when you so unabashedly sent him nudes every few days when he was away. 

Although, with how things had been before he left and the prospect of actually dating once he came back from his semester abroad - the butterflies in your stomach had been nonstop with the different scenarios that played out in your head. You’d even gone so far as to plan what happened if Wonwoo had decided he didn’t want to make an attempt at dating you.

“Sweetheart?”

The grip you have on your phone only tightens as you whip your head around to find Wonwoo standing behind your chair and you swear your heart stops beating the same time your breath gets caught in your throat. “H-huh?”

He smiles gently down at you and you can’t help but wonder how long you were spaced out to not notice him there. 

“Is this a dream too?” You wonder aloud - Wonwoo chuckling in response as he moves to collect your things for you.

“Have you been dreaming about me that much, sweetheart?” You stutter and stumble over your words; embarrassment eating at you every second that Wonwoo has a knowing smile plastered on his lips.

“C’mon, let’s go get something to eat since we both know you’re not really here to study.”

The version of Wonwoo that sits across the cafe table is… different.

Not bad, just different.

His arms are much tanner and definitely more muscular and the glasses missing from his face lets you appreciate his eyes even more when they’re not hidden behind the thick frames. He had even opted to wear a sleeveless shirt; something that you weren’t used to when he usually was around campus in long sleeves and sweater vests.

Although, you can’t and won’t deny the way your body reacts to this Wonwoo.

“Hey, I’m talking to you and you’re just spacing out.” Muttering, he leans over the small cafe table until his face is only inches away from yours and the smirk on his lips already lets you know that you’ve been caught staring.

“Listen, I know I’ve been gone for three months but you’re lookin’ at me like you haven’t had a fix in all that time.” Your lips press into an embarrassed firm line, avoiding his stare as he raises a brow at you.

“Wait, you didn’t fuck anyone in the three months I was gone?”

“No… did you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper; a little afraid that his answer will be ‘yes’ when he takes a second longer to respond.

“Nah,” He settles back into his seat, “I told you, didn’t I? I was willing to try the whole… dating, relationship thing with you when I got back. Although, I’m somewhat surprised one of the others didn’t try to seduce you while I was gone.”

You laugh slightly, cheeks warm as Wonwoo teases. “I wouldn’t have given them the time of day anyway.”

Your entire body burns hot, palms clammy in your lap from how giddy you were to be with Wonwoo and it made your heart do backflips knowing that he’d still been willing to try with you.

“Ah, how was it abroad anyway? You… didn’t really say much over the past few months so I feel like I don’t know how you were. Just some messages about how tired you were...” He takes a sip of his coffee; unintentionally making you internally scream when his lips form a pout while he thinks.

“Honestly? Other than the days we were excavating ‘n stuff, it was pretty boring. Really hectic though, and a lot of documenting which meant a lot of paperwork. I swear, I closed my eyes and I saw the inside of my textbooks.” He chuckles lightly, eyes focused on the cup of coffee in front of him.

“I just want to say sorry for my lack of communication. I really didn’t expect to be so busy that I couldn’t even pick up a call.” There’s a genuine apologetic look on Wonwoo’s face when he looks back at you. “And the time difference was really rough too. I didn’t want to take it out on you over the phone if I was stressed about not sleeping or the workload. I know we can get a little rough when we ‘play’ but this wasn’t that and it wouldn’t have been fair.”

Oh.

“T-that’s okay, I understand!” Your heart does somersaults in your chest, “I--thank you for thinking about me too.”

The feelings you have bubbling up inside of you make you feel like you’re falling in love for the first time, all over again. “Um… Sorry I sent so many pictures ‘n stuff.”

Wonwoo laughs, this time throwing his head back slightly before he tries to hide his wide grin. “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t apologize.” Your eyes meet his and for a split second, you see the familiar dominating look in his eyes before he leans over the small cafe table again.

“I might’ve not had all the time to entertain you those times but I thought about you alllll the time. I missed everything about you.” His voice is barely above a whisper - careful to not let anyone else in the cafe hear the topic of conversation. “Which, by the way…You piqued my interest earlier with your question. You never really answered my question about having dreams about me.”

You shift in your seat as you avert your eyes from his; eyes flitting down his toned body instead as you mentally curse yourself.

“I… kinda? I m-mean… not normally but just--just these last few days. It’s almost been every night… I wake up and--and it’s just… I’m...” You trail off; somewhat shy to say the rest of what you were going to say even though you’re almost certain Wonwoo already knows.

“Odd. Me too. I kept dreaming about you, which is, honestly, kind of why I thought to come back earlier.”

“Oh?”

“Mm, we still had 2 weeks left, technically. A bit of a spillover since my professor wanted us to explore the city once finals were over. But I just wanted to come home.” He finishes with a chuckle - a soft look in his eyes.

You pout back at him, “You didn’t come home early just for ‘lil ‘ol me, did you?” You say it jokingly, but deep down you do wonder.

“Would that be so bad?” Grinning, Wonwoo sets a couple of bills down onto the table to cover the meals you both barely have touched.

“Like I said, I missed everything about you, sweetheart.”

Wonwoo walks you back to your place afterwards; laughing and joking with you as if he hadn’t been gone for the last 3 months. 

There’s a certain playfulness about him that makes your heart bloom and part of you wonders if he’s opening up to you more now that there’d been some time apart.

“Are you gonna be working at the library again? Or is that done forever now?” “Mm.. I mean, it’d be kind of weird if I stopped, don’t you think?”

The grin of his face is telling and you have to mentally stop yourself from letting your mind wander in the middle of the sidewalk. “Y-yeah... Studying in my apartment isn’t really the same, y’know…”

Laughing, Wonwoo takes the opportunity to swing an arm around your shoulder as he tucks you under his arm. “I was actually at the library earlier to ask about my position back. I start tomorrow.” Goosebumps rise on your skin and the close proximity is enough to make you whimper.

“I’m only taking two classes this semester to give myself a bit of a break so I’ll be in the library more often to fill up the time. You can always call me if you need to know where I am. I promise I’ll respond this time, sweetheart.”

Before you know it, the two of you are already standing outside of your complex as Wonwoo takes his arm off of you.

“Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” There’s a hopeful lilt to his voice that has you nodding feverishly in return.

“I have a morning class but I’ll come by in the afternoon? I can text you to let you know, just in case.” You offer back.

Wonwoo licks his lips, tilting his head before leaning down and kissing you on the forehead.

The soft gesture momentarily throws you off as you freeze but the smoldering look in Wonwoo’s eyes when he pulls away lets you know that he’s already scheming.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

[homoose]

Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part IV

Summary: The Halloween parade. Will and JJ are adorable. Anita suggests that Spencer become a classroom volunteer. Reader has a rough week.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, a smidge of angst

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 4.4k

a/n: I wish we’d seen more of Will and JJ as parents because I imagine it would be adorable and hilarious. Let’s see if you can guess all of their costumes before the reveal lmao. Your only clue is that Spencer loves keeping with a theme and the brown vest (I literally learned how to make my own shitty gif bc I couldn’t find the right one in the search and I do not understand embedding lmao) makes an appearance.

Series Masterlist

———

“Did you grab the bags?” JJ swept the pleated, platinum braid out of her face as she bent over to zip up her boots.

“No, I thought you did,” Will called, bouncing down the stairs.

“I put them in the car already,” Spencer informed them, popping his head back in the front door. “There was just the one box, right?”

“Yeah, that was it,” Will confirmed. “Shit— where’s Michael’s sword?”

“Should be on the counter,” JJ huffed, standing up and adjusting the bodice of the blue dress.

“Got it.” Will came around the corner of the kitchen, patting his hips where his pockets would be— if he weren’t wearing an adult-sized onesie. “Keys?” Spencer held them up. “All right then, let’s get this show on the road.”

The trio headed to the waiting SUV, Spencer climbing into the backseat as Will and JJ got into the front. Will and JJ chattered on about dinner plans and schedules for the following week, and Spencer smoothed down the brown wool vest layered over his white linen shirt. He’d spent entirely too long putting together the costume over the last week (with a little help from Penelope). He’d scrapped the Spock getup he’d been working on since September— he could always wear that next year. But he’d only get one chance to attend the Room 105 Halloween parade, and once the idea had wormed its way into his brain, he had to make it happen.

“Spence?” JJ’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Would you be able to pick Michael up on Monday?”

He ran his hands down his thighs over the mint green cropped trousers. “Sure, as long as we don’t have a case.”

Will smirked at him in the rear view mirror. “How’s Ms. Y/L/N?”

“You’re about to see her yourself, so you can ask,” Spencer replied.

Will laughed, and JJ turned in her seat. “Whoa, coming in hot with the snark. You really do like her.”

Spencer fought and failed to keep the blush from rising, irritation at being teased blooming sharp inside his chest. He tried to shrug as nonchalantly as possible. “She’s a great teacher.”

“That’s not a no,” JJ noted, eyebrows raised.

“She’s Michael’s teacher,” Spencer said, like it meant something.

“Yeah, so?” Will shrugged his shoulders. “You’re his godfather. Technically, you’re not related, so it wouldn’t be breakin’ any rules.”

“Well, it’s not like that, so it doesn’t really matter,” Spencer insisted.

Will hummed and JJ turned back around in her seat. Spencer drummed his fingers on his knees and watched DC roll past through the SUV window. It really wasn’t like that. Y/N was just… very nice. A nice, beautiful, sweet, silly kindergarten teacher that he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how many books he read or coffees he drank or chess games he played.

Monday was the last day of his sabbatical, and he was even more relieved to be headed back than usual— grateful that he’d have something to occupy his mind other than her. Because his mind was, indeed, occupied. The way her smile beamed like the spotlight on a stage, illuminating whoever happened to be on the receiving end. The way her hands moved in unbound, buoyant illustrations of her thoughts. The way her laugh felt like the first warm sip of tea or the wrap of his favorite scarf. It was getting out of hand, to say the least.

Will pulled into the parking lot, and instantly Spencer’s palms began to sweat. He glanced at the headband on the seat beside him and felt the mortification clawing at his insides. The costume was ridiculous; he was ridiculous. He should have just worn the Spock outfit.

Maybe he could just wait in the car and pretend like he hadn’t been able to make it. Or he could just leave the headband in the car. But then he’d just be in mint green capris with a sweater vest and platform sandals, and she’d have absolutely no idea who he was supposed to be. Then he’d have to explain it, and it would be even worse.

Will parked the car, and he and JJ immediately stepped out. Spencer watched them near the hood of the SUV, enjoying a rare moment of co-parenting without work hovering right out of frame. Will pulled the hood of the onesie up and JJ laughed, brushing her hand over the brown fabric twigs sticking out of the top. He supposed that if Will Lamontagne, Jr. could strut his stuff in adult footie pajamas, his handmade costume was probably all right.

With one last resigned sigh, Spencer slid the headband on. He grabbed the box of Halloween treats, opened the door, and hauled himself out of the vehicle. He pushed the door closed and looked in the reflection of the window, adjusting the headband around his curls and blowing out a breath.

“Ready?” JJ called, peering around the side of the SUV.

“Yeah—yeah,” Spencer agreed. He moved around the vehicle to join them, the three of them walking to find a spot in the crowd of parents standing around the carpool loop.

When they found a suitable spot, Will looked up at him and shook his head. The sandals added three extra inches to Spencer’s height, putting him a good six inches taller than Will. “Those shoes make you look like an actual giant,” Will chuckled. “I know that’s the point, but I feel like even more of a shrimp next to ya now.”

Spencer set the box of candy bags on the ground and would have shoved his hands into his pockets if the linen trousers had any. Before he could respond, JJ pointed to the door of the school, cooing, “Oh my god, look. Remember when the boys were that small?”

The PreK classes came out first, and Spencer could acknowledge that they were very cute, barely out of the toddler stage and holding hands with a line buddy. But he was waiting on a very specific cutie.

He’d barely had the thought when the kindergarten classes started to emerge from the door. He almost didn’t recognize her at first— just an orange blob and green shrubbery. But the converse gave her away.

“How is she so cute?” JJ threaded her arm through Will’s. “Even when she’s dressed as a giant orange blob.”

“It’s a gift,” Will agreed. He glanced up at Spencer. “Right, doc?”

Spencer nodded but didn’t take his eyes off Y/N. “I think so, yeah.” Will grinned and bumped JJ’s shoulder, but Spencer barely even registered his own response.

Thankfully they’d picked a spot near the very end of the loop, so he had plenty of time to get himself together before she was in front of him. While Will and JJ waved at all the tiny superheroes and princesses, he watched Y/N. She was all orange fabric from her shoulders to her knees, with bright orange Chucks to match. On her head was a strange variation on a party hat, bright green ferns sprouting from the tip of the cone and falling into her face. She looked absolutely ridiculous and entirely adorable, and he was in so much trouble.

When the class finally approached the final curve of the loop, Will nudged Spencer and gestured to the box of goodie bags. Spencer crouched down and lifted the box, standing back up to see Y/N laughing at Will and JJ. “Very cute, Lamontagne Family.”

Her gaze traveled across, then up, and then her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. Spencer wondered if maybe the earth could just open up and swallow him whole.

“Oh my god, are you—?” She stepped forward and ran her hand lightly over the vest, and he didn’t dare breathe. “Are you the BFG?!” Her hand dropped from his torso, and he didn’t have time to be disappointed before her face split into quite possibly the biggest smile he’d seen from her yet.

A tiny Superman shouted, “Ms. Y/L/N, we’re making a gap!”

Y/N came back to herself, gesturing to all three of them. “Don’t go anywhere.” She accepted the offered box of treats from Spencer and then turned to help her class catch up.

Will gave him a look. “It’s not like that, huh?”

“Oh my god, she likes you.” JJ clapped her hands together. “This is amazing.”

“I’m takin’ credit for this,” Will bragged. “I’m a regular ol’ matchmaker.”

Spencer couldn’t even be bothered to attempt a denial. He was still thinking about the feel of her palm on his chest, how it might feel to hold her hand, the way her eyes practically sparkled when she saw his ridiculous headband. He was in so much trouble.

Fifteen minutes later, the classes filed back out into the parking lot for dismissal. Y/N led the class down the sidewalk, grinning at the excitement coursing through her line. As they approached the end of the loop, Y/N caught sight of them and waved. The kids lined up in their normal spot, chatting excitedly about their costumes and candy bags.

“Lord, Ms. Y/L/N, you’re something else,” Will laughed.

“Is it not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen?” She laughed and tapped the green shrubbery hanging in her face. “I have the kids do a little persuasive writing thing every year. They draw a picture and write a sentence about what they think Ms. Y/L/N should be for Halloween, and then we take a vote.”

She waved her hands in that way Spencer loved, the way that was so similar to his own. “Usually the options are pretty tame, you know—ghost, witch, bumblebee. This year was a near tie between runner-up Jojo Siwa and well,” she gestured at herself, “carrot.” Y/N cackled, and the leaves on top of her head shook with the action.

They all laughed along with her, and then JJ added, “The details are truly incredible. Is this an actual plant on your head?”

“I really thought about it,” Y/N laughed, “but no, it’s just fake ferns stuffed into a cardstock funnel.” She gestured at Will and JJ. “But also, excuse me— this family costume is ridiculously cute. Mr. Lamontagne, loving this onesie. Mrs. Jareau, I didn’t even know it was possible to look prettier than you usually do, but here you are. And Michael’s Anna costume?” She held her hands up. “Incredible. Show stopping. I wish I had an aunt Penelope to enlist the help of, because that cape is the actual height of fashion.”

“She helped Spence, too,” JJ prompted, stealing a glance in his direction.

“Oh yeah?” Y/N asked, turning to smile at Spencer.

“We um, 3D printed the ears,” he clarified.

“No way!” She took a step closer to him, peering up at the detail on the headband. He leaned down a little for her to get a closer look. “That is so cool. I’ve never actually seen anything 3D printed up close before— did you design them yourself?”

She met his eyes briefly, and he realized how close they were— close enough that he caught the faintest whiff of sandalwood and cardamom. Of course she even smelled like warmth and home. “Well. I, um— I drew a sort of sketch, I guess. And then Penelope did the software coding. I— I’m not very good with technology, honestly.”

She ran her fingers lightly over the plastic, and he decided she was really trying to kill him. “Yeah, I’m not sure I really understand how it works.”

“Well, first you create a blueprint file of the design you want to print, which you can do through modeling software or three-dimensional scanning. Then you convert the file into an STL file— named for Stereolithography which was the first ever 3D printing process. The STL file is made up of triangular mesh polygons, which is the data that describes the surface of a three-dimensional object. After that, you use a software program to complete the process of slicing— essentially dividing or chopping the 3D model into hundreds or thousands of horizontal layers that the printer can print one at a time to create the 3D object. And then the printer prints each layer until you have your finished product.”

Y/N was quiet, and he pulled back to see her grinning at him. “I thought you said you weren’t very good with technology?”

“I’m not good with using technology,” he clarified.

She nodded. “Gotcha. So you just know everything about it.”

Her joking tone had a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I read a lot.”

“How much is a lot?”

“I can read at a rate of 20,000 words per minute, so… a lot.”

Her eyebrows shot up into the tangle of ferns on her head, and he was just so overwhelmed by how adorable she was. “Well, if I ever have a question about anything, I know who I’m coming to.”

He was sure he was blushing, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. “I’m happy to answer any and all of your questions.”

She let her gaze travel over the rest of the costume. “Oh my god, the sandals! Man, you really nailed it. I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I thought about being Trunchbull, but I couldn’t find the sweatshirt,” he joked.

She laughed, and he wanted to bottle it up to keep forever. “As much as I would have loved to see your hair in a bun… you’re much too sweet to have been able to pull that off.” She smiled softly at him. “Much more suited to our friend the BFG.”

He rubbed a hand down the back of his neck, and it was only then that he realized Will and JJ had gone to the car. He looked back to Y/N, opening his mouth but unsure of what he was going to say.

“Y/L/N!” He turned his head to see Anita jogging toward them. “Did you—” The giant cardboard box she was wearing knocked into one of the few kindergarteners left in Y/N’s line, nearly sending them to the ground. “Oh my gosh, sorry sweetheart!” She righted the startled child, and Spencer gave her a once over, completely at a loss as to what her costume could be.

“What in the world are you supposed to be?” Y/N asked, choking out a laugh.

Anita looked at her deadpan. “A monopoly piece. Remind me that I’m never participating in team costumes ever again.” She rolled her eyes and gestured at Y/N. “Next year I’m gonna wear an orange t-shirt, call myself a carrot, and be much more comfortable.”

“I’ll have you know this costume was a lot of work,” Y/N remarked, crossing her arms.

“I’m sure it was. You could have put on an orange dress, stuck a green pipe cleaner in your hair, and called it a day, but that’s not the Y/L/N way.” Anita’s eyes slid across to where Spencer stood. “Well, hello, doctor. I have absolutely no idea what you’re supposed to be, but I love everything about it.”

“Spencer’s the BFG,” Y/N said, and Spencer could have sworn she sounded almost proud.

“Ah, Roald Dahl, of course.” Anita smirked. “I see you, Spencer. I see you.” She put her hands on her hips— or rather where her hips would have been if they weren’t covered by a ridiculously large box. “So, when are you going to volunteer?”

“Sorry?” he asked.

“Like, when are you going to volunteer in Y/L/N’s classroom?” She held up her hand, palm down, and made a circular motion between the two of them. “You know, hang out, but professionally.”

“Oh my god, did you need something?” Y/N’s squeaked, eyes wide.

Anita ignored her. “You just have to do a background check, but I’m sure you’ll pass it.”

“Lopez,” Y/N said, staring her down. “Do you need something?”

“Oh, I was just going to ask if you got the email about the PD after school on Tuesday. But this was much more fun.” She winked at Spencer. “Bye, Spencer.”

They both stared after her as she nearly skipped across the grass to the building. Y/N turned to him. “I’m— so sorry.”

He met her eyes and took the leap. “Volunteering could be fun.”

He watched her press her lips together to contain her smile. “It could be.”

He didn’t bother containing his own. “I’ll um— I’ll shoot you an email.”

“I’ll respond to your email.”

…

When he walked in the door, Spencer made a beeline for his desk. He opened his laptop and pulled up his email account, writing as fast as his one-finger typing would allow.

Spencer Reid Re: Volunteering

Hi!

I’m just following up about volunteering. Anita mentioned a form that I needed to fill out? Now that I’ll be back to work, I’ll just need to plan around the BAU schedule. Could you give me a list of days that would work for you?

Really looking forward to seeing you in action.

Spencer

He checked his two other email messages, and then left the browser up while he thumbed through his most recent reading material.

He sat at his desk for the remainder of the afternoon, distractedly perusing his book and glancing at his empty inbox every minute or so. His gaze flew up to the screen at the ding of a new message at 6:30, only to find a promotional email from one of his favorite indie bookstores.

He closed his laptop with a sigh. It was a Friday night. Y/N probably just didn’t check her email on the weekend. He could wait until Monday. He’d see her on Monday.

He limited himself to checking his laptop twice a day on Saturday and Sunday. When Monday rolled around, he checked it in the morning. He leaned back against the leather of his chair, staring at the empty inbox. He had some errands to run, and for the first time in his life, he wished he had a phone that had email on it.

He ran his last-day-of-sabbatical errands and stopped in at his favorite coffee shop for most likely the last midday, sit-down coffee he’d have for a while. Before he realized, it was 2:30. He brought his empty mug to the counter and waved to the barista. Then he walked to the car and prepped his conversation starters.

“Did you get my email? I sent you an email, just wondering if you saw it? Hey— Hello— Hi, I wasn’t sure if you got my email.” He blew out a breath. “Hi. How are you?” He waved his hand. “I’m great. Did you get my email?” He laughed into the empty car. “Ridiculous, Spencer. You’re ridiculous.”

When he pulled into the parking lot, his heart was racing and his palms were slipping against the steering wheel. He pulled around the loop, looking with a furrowed brow at the area where Y/N should be. In her place was a short woman with cropped grey hair. She held a clipboard and looked generally overwhelmed.

Michael sprinted to the car as soon as he saw it. He pulled open the door and let out a world weary sigh. Spencer turned in his seat. “Everything all right?”

“No, everything is terrible,” he huffed dramatically. “Ms. Y/L/N was sick today. Mrs. Franklin was our substitute, and she smells weird.”

Spencer looked through the window at Mrs. Franklin, struggling to keep a few rowdy boys in the line. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m sure Ms. Y/L/N will be back soon.” He was secretly relieved that he had a potential explanation for the unanswered email.

“I can’t take another day of Mrs. Franklin,” Michael sighed, buckling his seatbelt. “I hope Ms. Y/L/N’s back tomorrow.”

Spencer let out a breath and pulled away from the curb. “Me, too.”

…

JJ huffed out a breath, glaring at the stack of paperwork in front of her. Spencer was nose deep in a book, but he glanced up at the sound. “I can take a few of those if you want,” he offered.

“No, it’s fine,” she sighed. “I’ve really only got six left.”

He looked at his watch. “Each report takes you approximately 37 minutes. With eight minute breaks in between, you’re not going to be out of here until almost 6:00.”

JJ laughed. “I can’t believe I missed out on these scathing performance reviews for thirty days.”

“Suit yourself.” Spencer dropped his gaze back to his reading.

His first week back from sabbatical had been uneventful to say the least. The team had just wrapped a local case, and they’d spent the better part of the week going over consultations and potentials. It was finally Friday, and Spencer was finished with his stack of backlogged reports.

He was finishing the last chapter of the book when JJ dropped a string of quiet curses. He continued reading, waiting for her to ask. She was quiet for another minute.

“I forgot I’m on duty to pick Michael up today.” Spencer looked up at her, slight panic coming over him.

“I really don’t mind finishing your reports,” he offered.

JJ raised her eyebrows. “What, no offering to visit Ms. Y/L/N?”

Spencer closed his book. “I, um. I sent her an email a week ago, and she hasn’t responded.”

“So?”

“So…” Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “That’s weird, right?”

JJ laughed. “You don’t really use email, so I’d imagine your inbox is pretty orderly. But if you use it a lot, it can be easy for messages to get lost.” She looked at him pointedly. “I can almost guarantee that she’s not ignoring you, Spence.”

He sighed. “I guess there’s a quick way to find out.”

...

Spencer drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching the door of the school. He glanced at the clock, noting the class was later than they’d ever been. Without really understanding why, he pulled out of the loop and swung back around to park in the lot. He exited the car, and as he rounded the hood, he spotted them.

Y/N was at the front of the line, hands stuffed in the pockets of her jacket and mouth pressed into a thin line. The line behind her was unlike he’d ever seen it. No waving arms, no smiles, no giggles. Twenty small bodies followed behind her with absolute and total solemnity, and he felt uncomfortable just watching them. It would have almost been funny if it wasn’t so dramatically out of character.

The line weaved around the more rambunctious classes, maintaining their grave expressions and quiet pace. They reached their spot on the sidewalk, and Y/N didn’t even have to say anything. Spencer watched as the line took their spots behind her. She held one hand up to acknowledge parents as they pulled up, murmuring stoic goodbyes to students as they headed to their vehicles.

He hung back at the hood of the car until the majority of the class was gone, slowly making his way across the parking lot. Y/N’s line of sight was pointed in his direction, but her eyes were unfocused in the afternoon sun. He could see the moment that she registered his presence, her eyes widening slightly and bottom lip releasing from the place she’d been absentmindedly chewing. She shifted her weight as he closed the final few feet between them.

“Hi.” She held a silent hand up in greeting. He clenched and unclenched his fingers. “Rough day?”

“It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, despite what everyone thinks,” she snapped. She blew out a breath and rolled her eyes up to the perfectly blue sky, mocking her mood. “I’m sorry. Yes, it was a rough day.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“You don’t deserve my wrath.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the students. “They didn’t either, but— too late for that.”

He watched as she lowered her head back down, rubbing a hand over her face. He desperately wanted to slay whatever dragons had given her normally brilliant eyes such a grey cast. “You have strong relationships with them, and kids are resilient. I’m sure they know you—”

“Please— don’t.” Her voice was thick, and she looked at him with desperate eyes. “I— I appreciate the thought, but I’m— I’m a frustrated crier.” Her shining irises proved her point. “And I’m just— I’m really just trying to keep it together for the last four minutes of my contract time.” Her words were practically a whisper, and she swallowed thickly and glanced down the line, just Michael and one classmate left, eyes downcast.

“I understand.” Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from reaching out and touching her. “I’m sorry. I— I hope your weekend is better than today.”

Michael slowly left the line, murmuring a quiet goodbye to Y/N. Spencer put a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward the car, stealing one last glance at a crushed Y/N.

...

Y/N Y/L/N

Re: Re: Volunteering

Hi,

I meant to respond to this email, and then a bunch of things happened, and then I was out all week.

I don’t know if you even still want to volunteer after this afternoon, but it felt rude to not respond at all.

I’ve attached the background check form to this email in case you’re still interested.

Y/N

1 Attachment: Background Check

—

Hi,

I meant what I said this afternoon. Your students love you, and they know you love them. If my conversation with Michael in the car was any indication, they’re feeling rightfully embarrassed and guilty about their behavior while you were out.

Regardless of what happened today, your relationships with your students are strong enough that they will come to school tomorrow knowing that you still care about them. Children don’t hold onto things nearly as much as adults.

It would be a privilege to volunteer in your classroom, even on the worst day.

Spencer

1 Attachment: Background Check - Spencer Reid

—

If I wasn’t already crying, I would be now.

Thanks for that.

No sarcasm intended. Really. Thank you.

—

This might be inappropriate, and if it is, please just pretend like this email doesn’t exist.

I have a favorite cafe in the DuPont circle area, Soho Tea & Coffee. They have an excellent tea drink made with honey and milk that I like to order whenever I’ve had a particularly difficult day.

If you’re up for it, it’s on me.

———

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[hstyleshoney]

hey! could u maybe write something where h notices Y/N is distant after he comes back from tour? like she doesn’t feel stable in the relationship anymore bc he’s always away or something like that but he doesn’t want to break up. lmao this is weirdly specific but I really hope u get over your writers block <3

This has been in my drafts for a couple months now. Finally had time to finish it. Sorry it took so long. Hope you like It! <3 

WC: 5.3K // angst, fluff 

April.

Harry is tired.

He’s only been back in London for two days but he is completely drained. Mentally and physically. All he wants to do is snuggle down on the sofa with his girl and relax. He wants to hold her as close to him as humanly possible; feel her warmth and her smooth skin against his. He wants to spend all night just giggling away at nothing in particular with her because they’re both just so happy to be around one another again and whisper sweet nothings to her all night to let her know how much he missed her and loves her.

He has 21 days home before the next part of his tour kicks off - in Australia. He wants to make the most out of their time together before he has to leave again.

But something is wrong.

She is distant. She’s not letting him hold her, she hardly smiles when she sees him and she’s being off. It’s weird. Harry doesn’t like it.

He noticed it the second he arrived at her flat Monday night. She didn’t come running when he walked through the door. She didn’t talk non-stop for hours like she usually did when they had spent an excessive amount of time apart. She didn’t dig through his suitcase to get a look at all his latest purchases of clothes just because she loved fashion and got excited about all the designer items he owned. It was odd.

They didn’t even have sex.

Harry told himself it was probably just because it was late when he arrived and she was probably just tired. She’d be fine in the morning.

But she is still being as off with him as she was on Monday night, despite the fact that he has been back home in London for a couple days now. Harry doesn’t know what to do. Usually being back home with her brings him comfort and lets him relax after weeks on the road. Now it only has the opposite effect. It’s disheartening. He doesn’t understand it.

On Friday night they go out for dinner with a couple of friends of his. Harry hopes it will lift her spirits but she stays quiet for most of the evening. She is gloomy, not her usual self, and the twinkle in her eyes is missing. It’s awkward and when James shoots him a questioning look from across the table Harry knows that everyone has noticed that something is wrong.

Harry feels sick.

He is worried. Stressed. Anxious. Maybe even a tiny bit angry.

And he is afraid to ask her about it because he has a bad feeling about the whole thing. His gut is telling him that her lack of affection is because of him. He knows he has to ask her about it, but he is holding off for as long as he possibly can. Because asking her about why she is being distant makes it real and he is not ready for her to confirm his suspicions. He is still holding onto the small hope that her mood is because of something that happened at work or with her friends.

But she usually tells him everything and now she hasn’t said anything.

So the only explanation Harry can think of is that he is the reason for her low mood.

And he is not ready to hear it.

He knows her though. He knows she hates upsetting or disappointing others and will avoid it at all costs, even if it means neglecting her own thoughts and feelings until she’s too overwhelmed by it all. She has the kindest heart he has ever met; she is perhaps too kind for her own good.

Which is why he knows he has to ask her and get her to open up about whatever is going on in her head. For her sake but also for his own.  

The car ride back to his house after their dinner is, unsurprisingly, quiet and somewhat tense. Harry wants to ask her right there and then why she is being so off, but he also knows he won’t be able to focus on the road if he does. He can hardly focus enough as it is. So he stays quiet and glances over at her whenever he gets the chance, and his heart sinks from how sad she looks.

She doesn’t look at him once though and only rests her head against the window as she watches the other cars around them, picking at the skin around her nails; a sign Harry has learned means that she is either stressed or upset... or both.

Once they make it to his house reality kind of hits him like a ton of bricks and he is one hundred percent sure her mood is because of him now and he is anxious to find out the reason why that is and fearful of where the conversation might lead. What if he loses her? He is not sure his heart can take it.

But she lets him put a hand on her back as they walk into the house and it’s nice to have her close again, she smells so good, and he has to stop himself from falling into her. He wants to wrap his arms around her and never let go.

“I’m gonna go get ready for bed,” she tells him quietly when they get inside, avoiding eye contact, and swiftly disappears up the stairs before he gets the chance to ask her about anything. Harry almost calls her name to stop her but decides to give her a couple of minutes before he approaches her about the elephant in the room.

Also, he needs some time to get his own head together and prepare for whatever might be thrown his way. As scared as he might be there is also a frustration building up inside him from her shutting him out. He had been gone for almost three months and they hadn’t been able to see each other as much as they would’ve liked to. He had been looking forward to just coming home to her and getting a couple of weeks with her before continuing his tour.

There is a lump in his throat as he makes his way up the stairs. His palms are sweaty. His head is spinning. And he realises, for the first time in his life, that he is absolutely terrified about the possibility of losing someone. Her. He has been in love before. He has gone through break-ups. But none of them have made him feel like this. It’s like someone is suffocating him.

And the break-up hasn’t even happened yet. He doesn’t even know if it will happen. He just knows that the girl who has his whole heart in his hands is being distant and won’t talk to him after weeks apart. It’s not a good sign.

She is still in the bathroom when he comes upstairs. The door is open and he takes a few seconds to just watch her, leaning against the doorframe with a fond look on his face. He can’t take his eyes off her. Her hair is pushed back by her pink fuzzy headband and her face is free from all the makeup she had previously worn. She is beautiful, he thinks and closes his eyes for a second to savor the small moment.

It’s just so familiar. He has seen her get ready for bed a hundred times before and he never gets tired of it. It’s the simplest thing but it makes him feel home.

She feels like home.

And then she spots him by the door and a small squeal escapes her lips which brings him back. “Bloody hell Harry” she breathes out and puts a hand over her chest. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he replies and shoots her a weak smile.

“I’m almost done, just give me a couple minutes and then the bathroom is all yours” she says and picks up one of her many skin care products to continue her routine. She speaks fast and avoids his gaze. Harry clears his throat awkwardly.

“Actually,” he starts. “I was wondering if we could talk?”  

She freezes for a brief moment and Harry almost feels bad. Silence falls over them again and it’s all the confirmation he needs to know that whatever is going on has something to do with him. Harry is almost certain she’s going to tell him she’s too tired to talk or come up with another excuse, but eventually she nods.

“Yes,” she murmurs. “Of course.”

“Thank you,” he nods as well and tries to give her another small smile to ease the tension between them but it’s useless. The knot in his stomach weighs him down too much. “I’ll let you finish and you can just come find me, yeah?”

Harry waits for her in the bedroom. He sits down on the bed before standing up almost just as fast. Then he sits back down again. His throat feels dry and his heart is beating so hard inside his chest it feels like it might burst. He’s trying to come up with what to say to her but as soon as she walks in his mind goes completely blank. He wants to believe that he is wrong, that it’s just a big misunderstanding, but her sad eyes make it hard.

She looks so soft and small as she takes a seat next to him and Harry has to fight the urge to just pull her into his arms. It’s strange and he doesn’t understand why she is being so distant. Everything was fine between them before he left for his tour and as far as he knows nothing happened while he was away.

“Have I done something wrong?” he begins.

She sighs and looks down at her hands, still doing her best to avoid eye contact.

“I’m sorry H,” she says and her voice cracks a little at the end. Harry feels sick again. “I know I've been acting weird. Distant. I’m sorry.”

“Will you please look at me?” he begs because he can’t stand her shutting him out like she is. It’s never happened before. So when she looks up at him with tears in her eyes both relief and pangs of agony washes over him. It kills him; fills him with worry. Harry doesn’t know how he is going to get through this. This wasn’t how he had planned his return home. Far from. “What’s going on?”

“I love you,” she tells him and swallows thickly.

Harry nods and tries to stop his head from spinning so much.

“And I love you.”

“I... I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

There it is. He knew it was coming but hearing the words come out of her mouth is a punch to the face. He doesn’t know how to respond to it. Silence falls between them just as heavy raindrops start to fall against the windowsill outside.

“Okay,” is all he can say.

“I just - I hate missing my best friend every single day.” A tear rolls down her cheek and she’s quick to wipe it away, taking a shaky breath. “I feel very alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Harry says and reaches out to take her soft hands into his, holding them tight. She gives him a sad smile and laces her fingers with his. He never wants to let go.

“I know,” she replies softly. “But it feels like I am. I come home to an empty flat, have dinner on my own and watch some stupid reality show to kill time. I can’t even call you whenever I want to because you’re on stage or busy with something else. I feel like I’m just constantly waiting for you. It feels impossible for us to build a life together.”

Harry wants to tell her it’ll change. That it’ll get better. That he’ll be better. But it’s a promise he can’t make because he’s leaving again, soon. He still has shows to do in Australia, North- and South America. He still has a tour to do - and hopefully more tours in the future as well.

And he loves his job. It’s his dream. He is so grateful for everything he gets to do.

But he has never hated his job as much as he does in that moment right there, and he hates himself for that too.

“I’m here now,” he says weakly and tightens his fingers around hers.

“Yeah, I know,” she croaks and when she cups his cheek in the hand he’s not holding Harry can’t stop himself from leaning into her touch. “But you’re leaving again, what happens then? We’ve been in the same time zone and country now for three months and barely had the chance to talk - what happens when you’re on the other side of the world?”

“I’ll make time for you. I promise,” Harry tells her and blinks away his own tears that are threatening to fall.

“But you won’t be here,” she replies sadly and pulls away from him. Harry feels cold as soon as her hands leave his. He wants to scream but there is no air in his lungs. He’s losing her and he doesn't know what to do or say to stop it. He’s helpless.

And when a strangled sob escapes her he thinks his heart might shatter into a million pieces. It’s the worst sound he has ever heard and it kills him knowing it’s because of him. “I hate this,” she cries. “I’m so sorry Harry. I’m being so fucking selfish.”

“Stop,” he huffs and angles his body so he can move himself closer to her. Desperate to fix whatever is happening between them before it’s too late.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffles and bows her head, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t want to make you feel bad because I know how much you love what you do and I would never ask you to stop. I love watching you on stage, it’s my favorite thing in the world... but I just- I just don’t know if I’m happy like this. I don’t like the person I become when you’re away.”  

“What can I do?” Harry begs even though he knows there’s not a lot he can do right now. “I’m not losing you.” He takes her hands into his again, running his thumb over her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you too Harry, so much.” Her voice trembles as she speaks and Harry feels his whole stomach drop as the next few words fall from her lips. He’s sure he is going to pass out. “Sometimes love isn’t enough though, is it?”

“What are you saying?” he whispers as he tightens his hold on her hands. She looks up at him, her glossy eyes meeting his green ones, and Harry can no longer hold back his own tears.

“I don’t know yet,” she admits, her voice low and thick. Harry tries to think of something to say that will change her mind but his head is swirling with a million different things all at once. He can’t think straight. He only knows he refuses to lose her. He won’t lose her. So he tells her that again.

“I’m not losing you.”

That night they fall asleep on different sides of the bed with their backs facing each other and Harry might just break.

.

May 19th.

Harry Styles ❤️ 11:34 AM We just landed in Australia. I wish you were here. I love you. xxx

.

May 31st.

Harry Styles ❤️ 5:47 PM Last show is done. I’ll be home on Tuesday. Let’s talk then. xxx

.

June.  

She is tired.

The last three weeks have been brutal. Or, actually, the whole month has been brutal. Ever since she told Harry about her insecurities regarding their relationship she felt like her whole life had just fallen apart. She couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Nothing.

She went to work and when the day was over she went straight home and watched every episode she could find of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to numb her mind. Her co-workers express their worry when they see her come to work with the same outfit for the fourth day in a row, greasy hair and big dark circles under her eyes. They tell her to take a few days off.

But she doesn’t.

Because she needs work as a distraction. She can’t just sit at home and think about everything that happened between her and Harry before he left for Australia. The morning after their talk they hardly said a word to each other and she could see that he was hurt. It killed her knowing it was because of her.

It was just that the European tour had been harder on her than she ever could've imagined. Other than the London shows she had only been able to go to the one in Manchester and the one in Paris, but that was it. She couldn’t get more time off to go see him and whenever she finished work at the end of a long day and had time to call him he was already on stage or about to be.

They hardly spoke and it made her sad. The reality of how different their lives were slapped her hard in the face that first leg of his tour. So hard she couldn’t bring herself to be happy when he came back home to London, because she knew he was leaving again.

She figured that maybe she just needed some time to get used to having him around again and that things would go back to how they usually were after a day or so. They didn’t. Instead all she could think about was the fact that he was leaving again and how every hour that passed was an hour of their time together that was gone.

She had been stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

When he asked her to talk she knew that she would no longer be able to keep things to herself. It all just came crashing down.

She hasn’t seen Harry in almost a month now and her whole body is aching for his touch again. At the same time, she knows she has no one but herself to blame for her heartache.

She loves him. She loves him so fucking much.

She just doesn’t know if she can handle the distance. She doesn’t know if she can handle only speaking to him through text messages because of the time difference and/or because their schedules don't add up. She doesn’t know if she can handle all the rumors circulating on social media whenever he has been seen with someone she doesn’t recognize. She’s become jealous and she doesn’t like it.  

But she loves him.

She knows in her heart that he is The one.

And maybe that’s why she is so fucking terrified of him leaving, because what if he never comes back to her?

She’s not sure she’s going to be able to handle it.

So when she told him she wasn’t sure if she could be with him anymore she did it so she could leave first, but then he looked at her like she had just crushed his entire soul. After spending every night for the last couple weeks replaying the moment over and over again in her head she realises she won’t ever be able to leave him. She doesn’t want to.

And now he is coming back again, after spending two weeks back home in Holmes Chapel with his family to clear his head and two weeks down under in Australia doing what he loves most, and she is still terrified.  Because he might show up and tell her he’s had enough of her games and leave with her heart.

She takes that Tuesday off from work and cleans her entire flat, anxiously waiting for Harry to show up. He texted her earlier to let her know he would arrive in London by noon and would be coming over, to which she only replied an ‘okay’ because she was overthinking and didn’t know what else to say.

They never officially said the words “we are over” so she has no idea if they were still together or broken up, and she didn’t want to say something that could be misinterpreted in any way.

Then she gets another text from him asking her if she could come over to him instead because he is too jet lagged and wants to just go home and have a shower. And she convinces herself it’s only an excuse from him. An excuse to get her to come over and get all her stuff she has left laying around his house the last year, so he can remove any traces of her ever being in his life.

She still tells him she’ll be there in an hour.

That hour ends up being one of the worst hours of her life. She’s an anxious mess as she tries to get ready and ends up spilling her coffee all over her shirt and the freshly mopped floor. Her favorite cup with a small dachshund painted on it, the one Harry got her after their first date when she told she was obsessed with dachshunds, falls to the floor and breaks in half. She has a mini breakdown over it all.

She’s also about two seconds away from running over an old lady by the crossroads leading up to Harry’s house.

Then when she arrives at Harry’s house she has forgotten the code to get through his gate. She has another breakdown thinking he has changed it because he doesn’t want her to know what it is anymore.

Turns out she only missed a number.

Before she knows she is knocking on his door and just stands there waiting for him to come let her in. Normally she wouldn’t knock and just waltz right in but it didn’t feel right this time. She isn’t sure if she is even allowed to anymore.

So she waits.

When Harry finally opens the door and she is face to face with him again she feels like she might actually collapse. He looks tired, eyes puffy and cheeks rosy, but he still smiles when he sees her. And even though he has his grey hoodie up she can still see the little hair clip on top of his head that’s holding back his damp curls from falling in his face.

“Hi,” she breathes out and clasps her hands together in front of her because she doesn’t know what else to do. Her heart is beating painfully hard inside her chest.

“Hi,” Harry says and takes a step forward as if he is about to pull her into a hug, but he stops himself and takes a step back again. They stand in silence for what feels like an eternity, just taking each other in, before Harry clears his throat and opens the door a little wider for her.  “Come in.”

As she passes him she catches a whiff of his perfume and it’s so familiar and calming that she forgets for  a moment that they’ve been in a downward spiral for the last month.

But she is quickly reminded of the situation when Harry awkwardly leads her to the lounge and they sit down on opposite ends of the sofa. Her fingers tremble a little as she pushes a couple strands of hair behind her ear. The room is quiet and cold. The whole house smells like detergent and soap, it always did when he hadn’t been home for a while, and she hates it.

“So, um, how was Australia?” she asks, keeping her eyes on the bright colorful painting that hangs on the wall above Harry’s head and avoiding his green ones that are staring her down. She’s positive he can hear how fast her heart is beating.

“It was alright,” Harry answers and tilts his head forward a little, brows drawn together, as he tries to get her to focus on him rather than the painting behind him.

“Good,” she mumbles and takes a shaky breath, still avoiding his eyes. Harry sighs deeply and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. This isn’t like them. Far from. She wants to crawl into his arms; wants to feel the comfort and safety he always brings her when he holds her. Her whole body is screaming for his touch again, but her head stops her - what if he didn’t want to hold her anymore?

“We can’t go on like this,” he tells her then and her blood instantly runs cold.

This is it.

Harry is going to tell her he can’t be with her anymore and it’s her own fault. She pushed him away.

“Okay,” she whispers. Tears are already welling up in her eyes and she is quick to blink them away before they fall. But her vision is still blurry. Her throat feels tight and dry. The room is closing on her and she has to wipe her clammy hands on her pants to make sure she’s still in her own body. A huge part of her wants to run, although she is not too sure her legs will carry her. This is what she gets for pushing him away though she supposes.

“I need to know if you’re leaving or not.”

She snaps her head in his direction as soon as the words come out of his mouth.

“What?”

She’s not sure she’s heard him right.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Harry continues and a small curl falls out of his little hair clip as he shakes his head. “I need answers from you. These past few weeks - I can’t...  I need to know where we stand. I need to know if I’ve lost you.”

She blinks.

“Harry, I-“ She can't find her words. She had been so sure that he was going to tell her he was leaving her, that he was tired of her selfishness and wanted nothing more to do with her. Now her whole body is frozen as her mind tries to catch up with what Harry just told her. He looks worn out, sad, and she feels so incredibly stupid. Guilty. This mess is all her fault. “No.”

Harry inhales sharply through his nose and gives her a short nod.

“Alright.” His lips are pressed together, jaw tense, as he averts his gaze to something other than her face, refusing to look at her any longer.

“No Harry, I mean, you haven’t,” she is quick to say when she realises he had misunderstood her words. Her head is spinning. There is so much she needs to say but she doesn’t even know where to start. “You haven’t lost me. I didn’t think- I thought you were leaving me.”

“What?”

And just like that it’s all just too much. The last couple weeks washes over her as soon Harry looks at her again and she notices how glossy his eyes are. She’s overwhelmed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry H,” she cries and hides her face in her hands, finally letting her tears spill over and run hot down her cheeks. “I’ve been so fucking stupid.”

She lets a sob rip from her throat and buries her face deeper into her hands, wishing she could just disappear. Guilt is eating away at her conscience knowing that Harry had walked around thinking she was leaving him while having to go out on stage and put on a good show for thousands of fans. She should’ve talked to him before he left. She should’ve replied to his texts. She feels like the worst fucking person in the entire world.

“Heey, noo, don’t cry.” Harry moves over to crouch down in front of her. His touch burns through the thick denim of her jeans when he puts his arms down on either side of her on the sofa, his thumbs rubbing small circles on her thighs. “Talk to me, Love.”

“I’m so stupid,” she repeats.

“You’re not,” Harry says softly and gently pushes some of her hair away from her face, tapping her fingers lightly to get her to get her to remove her hands from her face and look at him again. When she peeks at him through her fingers she’s met by his small dimple. He takes the opportunity to carefully pry her hands away completely and holds them in his own. “There we go,” he murmurs. “S’just me. You can talk to me.”

“I’m scared,” she admits and runs her fingers over his rings. Harry frowns but doesn’t say anything, just lets her take her time to gather her scattered mind. It’s hard though when he is finally so close again and all she can think about is how good he smells and how familiar and soothing it is to have his hand in hers again. “I don’t know - I guess I just worry that you’ll get tired of me or feel like I’m just holding you back or that you’ll meet someone much more exciting than me while you’re away. I’m terrified that you’re going to wake up one day and realise I’m just some loser who lives a boring life that you actually have no interest of being a part of...  And I don’t think my heart could take it.” Her voice cracks with the last part.

Harry holds her hand a little tighter in his.

“I don’t think my heart could take it either,” he tells her.

And even though he is right in front of her, holding her hands in his, she can’t stop the feeling of hopelessness coming over her again. She doesn’t want to lose him. Refuses to be the one who leaves.

But he is going away again soon and she doesn’t know what she is supposed to do when he does. The issues of her feeling alone and insecure are still going to be there, and what happens then? Is she going to put them both through another tortures couple weeks again, where neither of them know where they stand? She can’t do that to him.

“Do you think we can make it work?” she asks him and presses her lips together to stop herself from letting another sob escape her.

“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully and swallows hard. “But isn’t that part of it? Not knowing. Life is far too short to worry about what might happen in the future. There is alway going to be some bad and some good. The only thing I know for certain right here, right now, is that I love you and that I want to be with you. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Neither do I.”

Harry smiles.

“Okay then,” he says softly and moves himself a little closer to her. “Maybe we can just leave it like that then? And we’ll just figure it out as we go.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

There's a moment of silence and she wants to stay in that moment forever. Just the two of them. It’s all she wants. Always. To just be with him.

And when Harry stands up and simultaneously pulls her with him she falls into his arms. His body is so warm against hers and as he grabs her chin and tilts her head back so he can press his soft lips to hers she knows that things will work out between them. 

She loves him too much to not at least fight for it.

It will by no means be easy and she knows that when he leaves again in a couple weeks that he is going to take a piece of her heart with him.

But she also knows that she has a piece of his heart with her at all times, and that knowledge fills the small void inside her chest for many years to come.

.

Let me know what you think! <3 

[lesbianlotties]

I was tagged by @lilolilyr thank you so much!!! i loved your answers omg you've written a lot! <33

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 49 words posted!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

612122!

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. five times Deena and Sam met in secret (and one time they didn’t) aka my pride and joy, love u fear street fandom. 2. Being with you (Makes the flame burn good) i'm very proud of this one, my first fic for the old guard. 3. Extremely Uneventful Subject although i genuinely love it it only got this many kudos bc i included men lmao 4. one day at a time one of my favorites!! why didn't i write more for bly manor?? 5. Andy and Quynh One Shots 101 one shots and i'm extremely proud of that lol

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I reply most of the time. In fact, I should go reply to some today

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Chapter 40: the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them. or mortal Andy is losing her memory and i cry the entire time.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

probably Extremely Uneventful Subject because, spoilers alert, it's all about andy regaining her immortality and being happy ever after with her wife, as it should be!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve

written?

I've only written one! (Red) Room For 8. I do think it classifies as crazy, maybe? What do ocean's 8 and the haunting of hill house have in common? this fic!! i actually really liked it and i should probably finish it oops! plus, we get lou and theo being friendly exes so that's... something

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, i don't think so?

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Hmm a little. so not really. just when the fic really calls for it. for example Don't You Know? (That I'm A Moon In Daylight) helena/dinah vampire au, for reasons. and the only touchstone of truth the marla/fran backstory!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Uhh not that i know of! hopefully not!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Which i think is the coolest thing! 【翻译】Being with you (Makes the flame burn good) in Chinese!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm on it 👀

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh the most difficult question ever!! listen, i have to say at least four! Andromaquynh or Andy/Quynh, is so especial because oh my god they're immortal that's endless potential! and i don't think i'll ever write 101 one shots for another ship! Damie or Dani/Jamie, because maybe I only have two stories written for them but the love i feel for them is way too much, they are perfect, favorite characters too. Heistwives or Debbie/Lou, objectively i also wrote a lot for ocean's 8, they are the reason i started writing fanfiction! and they've lasted me a long time. plus there's also the ot3 i love. and a bonus mention for my current favorite Sameena! of Sam/Deena, because they are the only thing in my mind at the moment, except maybe for Sarah/Hannah

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so I genuinely started to write a The Old Guard x Hill House AU, like I had a full chapter ready I think and I was so excited about it, spooky, angsty, emotional. but then Fear Street took over my entire life. but! I love the idea and I have a full outline so I'm sure I'll write it at some point!! hopefully before the sequel comes out lol as soon as i can look past the problematic fandom again. but! one that i really don't think i'll finish, would be a tog x ocean's 8 AU, because i didn't feel as strongly about that one, didn't have an outline, technically didn't even start to write it, probably not going to happen

15. What are your writing strengths?

i genuinely have no idea what to answer, i swear

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

uhhh i don't know? if this counts, which i think it does because it definitely affects my writing, is that i have zero discipline. and i rather die than thoroughly proofread and edit everything i write...

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I was going to say I don't love it but then I remembered I've done it a couple of times! I think it's nice, but when it's not overdone, just a little thing here and there. in my case, i did short sentences on one shots, which meaning can be guessed or wasn't very important to the story, so that the reader doesn't have to stop reading to look up a translation, and then at the end include the translation. it's mostly about the feeling of it, to me

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Ocean's 8! and it was a 30k ot3 story because apparently i'm ambitious like that. and shortly after i started writing for the haunting of hill house!

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Gunpowder Milkshake! I have an entire one shot already planned out but I haven't had the time :((( (fear street please let me live) and i have written for these fandoms/ships but not nearly enough!! so i'm also going to mention Dani/Jamie from bly manor and Dani/Grace from terminator dark fate. let's not overthink why i love so many ships that include a character named dani jgkhghk

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I have many favorites but I'm going to be completely honest here and say that it's my heart (is like a haunted house) my Andromaquynh Ghost AU!

Tagging: (if u guys want to do it/haven't done it yet) @villanelleskiss, @salzundhonig, @rupzydaisy, @moonlightandromache, @cryhardanddanceharder, @knoepfchen,

[stargaze-issei]

"write for me" (t. kei x fem!reader)

summary; after years of crushing on you, the introverted writer from class, tsukishima finds a way to let all his feelings out. if he couldn't talk to you, then he would write to you.

genre; fluff.

warnings; none.

word count; 1.3k

autor's note; i'm sorry but i thought once about tsukki being a writer and here i am now lmao. i could totally see him using writing as a coping mechanism bc he can't express his feelings. is this self inserted? yes very much. anyways, enjoy.

everyone knew tsukishima was smart, he liked to read and was and extreme geek. he could tell you trivias from every marvel movie if you asked. maybe that's what drawn him to you. imagine how hard his jaw dropped when he saw his middle school crush in his same classroom, there, in karasuno. to yamaguchi, it was hilarious. your figure hadn't change so much during holidays, if anything, you were even prettier. of course, tsukishima would never say that out loud. he had made sure to get a seat from behind you, in order to make his staring less obvious, but never escaping from yamaguchi's comments on how he should at least talk to you.

the first time he noticed you, was during a break in your old school. you were sitting in the floor with a notebook supported on your thighs, writing something with a weird speed. even between all those noisy kids, balls flying around, you seemed so focused on your writing that it almost looked out of place. kei's head was filled with questions on what got you so excited to write, because being a writer himself, he knew that inspiration was a hard thing to get. since that moment, his eyes always found a way back to you. sometimes, you just stared at a blank paper, or write your brainstorm down. it would be a lie if he said he never wondered what was on that paper, on those notebooks. more than once he stayed up all night thinking about it.

"there are tons of others schools! it has to be a sign, tsukki!" yamaguchi had tried to convince him to talk to you for ages, but an uncommon shyness struck the blonde whenever it came to you.

"shut up, yamaguchi" he always shut him down, but his friend understood, and seeing tsukishima get flustered was always a pleasure to sight.

in the whole time he knew you, you never seemed sad. yes, you were usually by yourself, but he catch on those small smiles whenever you were satisfied by what you wrote, or when you laughed at yourself for any reason. he was sure that, at least throughout middle school, you were happy. someway along the way, it changed. you were making new friends, and to anyone who didn't pay attention, you were happy as always, but he knew you weren't. tsukishima desperately wanted to talk to you, he hated seeing those bags under your eyes, that fake smile. he wanted you to be happy and didn't know how to help you.

"hey y/n.

you looked sad today, i wanted to talk to you but i couldn't. is it because you stopped writing? if it is, please don't, i look forward to read something from you.

ps. please don't get scared, i'm not a stalker. i just like you, a lot"

he folded the little note in two, he would deliver it after practice in your locker. if he said he wasn't nervous, he would be the biggest liar ever. his hands were shaking while writing, in practice, he couldn't block a single hit because he was too busy thinking about your reaction. of course you would get scared, who wouldn't? he basically said that he watched you enough to know when you are sad and asked you to keep doing something as private as writing. but he did worry about you. the only other option was to actually talk to you, but that was not happening. first, because he had a reputation to keep. tsukishima kei, the sarcasm in human form, showing feelings over a crush? nope, not in this lifetime. second, at least this way he had the benefit of the doubt. if you thought he was some cute, sweet boy, maybe you wouldn't run away, but if you knew it was him, it was over. most people were scared of him.

he decided to do it, against all his better judgement. 

the next day, he made yamaguchi pretend to talk to him near you locker only to see your reaction. every minute seemed eternal, until you finally arrived. he couldn't avoid thinking how pretty you looked in your uniform. both him and yamaguchi, who he had updated of his doings, stared at you while the piece of paper fell to your feet. thank god the halls were full enough for you to not feel their piercing gaze, because they weren't even blinking. as you read, tsukishima could swore his heart stopped beating. but when he saw your lips curve in a smile? he was done. he had made you smile. you were smiling at his handwriting, at something he wrote, damn, it felt like a whole world had been presented before him. he didn't had butterflies in his belly, he had a complete fleet of birds.

it became a routine to leave you little notes, saying how cute he thought you were, or him asking things, even if you couldn't respond, he just wanted you to know he cared. 

"hey y/n. 

i thought you presentation in japanese history was amazing. and don't even think i'm biased, because of course i am, but that's not the point. how you smiled at the end made it ten times better.

ps. that hair pin looked really pretty"

as usual, he waited until the end of practice to leave it. a paper folded was stuck with tape outside your locker that time, blocking the entrance. his heart started to beat faster, had you left him a reply that time?

"hi, you.

it's been a month since you started leaving me notes, it would be rude of me to not answer. you make me feel really good, you know? i was surprised at first, nobody else notice how sad i was but you. i'm not anymore, mostly thanks to your words. i can't get you out my mind, it bothered me to not have a face to place in my thoughts. i wanted, no, i want to meet you so bad. do you really like me? i like to think you wouldn't lie to me, so i won't lie to you. i'm pretty sure i like you too. i can even hear you thinking, how could i like you if i don't know who you are?, well, think again, tsukishima kei." 

the first thing he felt was fear. god, he was so scared. he re-read it, it said you liked him back. did you though? he was so... unlikeable. someone as nice as you just couldn't be into him. but he wasn't anyone to say who you could or could not like, so–

"hey, tsukishima" that voice. he had heard it so many time, but for the first time was actually to him. his name between your lips sounded like a completely different thing, something amazing tsukki could hear for hours non stop. slowly, he turned around to face you. you were still in your uniform, meaning you had stayed there for three hours just waiting for him. "aren't you gonna ask me how i figured it out?"

a soft how left his throat. you were kind of entertained by his reaction, you understood the shocked, you had felt it when you realized it was him sending you those cute notes four days ago.

"when the guy you like since middle school starts acting strange, you can tell. and the way you wrote, like you knew me from a long time. i was between you and yamaguchi, so i took my chances on you" both of you were to afraid to move, scared that the other was going to disappear "would it be okay if i ask you on a date?" all your confidence had left your body before asking that question.

"that's all i want, dumbass" he answered, going back to be his usual self. you laughed, making his heart skip a beat. "c-can i... get closer?" that was everything you needed to walk towards him, your moves seemed to synchronize perfectly with his. 

kei's arms wrapped around your neck, him being to tall to reach your waist, and your arms were around his torso. he felt so warm, like the hug you were expecting your whole life.

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[livelongdolan]

Teacher’s Pet (G.D. & A.D.)

Summary: When you encounter a new teacher your freshman year of college, Grayson gets a bit jealous but there’s another feeling brewing inside of you. *This is a fanfic including Grayson Dolan and Adam Driver*

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: threesome smut, spanking, choking, just everything honestly lmao

A/N: i sent morgan an ask and i could NOT get it out of my head so this is what happened (btw this is dedicated to her bc she’s my fellow adam driver lover @vinylhazza hehe ily, also to my best friend Joie bc she helped me with the storyline uwu ily)

Tags: @vinylhazza (idek anyone else who would like this but lmk if u wanna be tagged!)

     You had always had friends that were older than you, so when you got into college you already knew about one of the professors you’d end up having freshman year. You were majoring in anthropology and the one in charge of the class for the first year was Professor Driver. Your friends had snuck pictures of him in class, talking about how attractive he was constantly but also how incredibly strict he was. You never really understood their infatuation until you walked into his class for the first time. The way that his nose curved, along with his jet black hair and hazel eyes had you hooked, not to mention how broad his shoulders and torso were. Friends of yours knew that you had changed your mind about him but what you didn’t know was that your best friend and soon to be boyfriend Grayson had noticed too. He sat next to you in the same class and watched the way you practically drooled over the tall man dressed nicely in a casual suit. But it also didn’t help that you constantly talked with him after class about how handsome the older man was. 

     “Gray I’m serious I think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” The two of you are walking side by side after leaving the class and you can’t get your mind off Professor Driver. 

     “Really? You see me every day Y/N” He smiles, half joking. You playfully hit his shoulder and just laugh at his comment. 

     “Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on his body. His shoulders? Crafted by the gods Grayson I’m not even kidding. He’s just so…” you pause for a moment, trying to think of the perfect word to describe him “...big. Like massive. He could throw me around like a rag doll.”     At your comments Grayson pretends to throw up, slight jealousy brewing in his stomach but he’s not letting it show just yet. 

    “Y/N he’s our professor, you're gross.” He laughs but there’s slight meaning behind his words. You decide to ignore it and the conversation topic changes after a few more laughs from you. 

                                                               ~

   The next day the two of you walk into class, going through the classwork as you steal glances at the man at the front of the class. You make eye contact a couple times but look away quickly at each occurrence. After receiving your essay tests back from the week before you noticed that you had many more comments on yours than anyone else had, scrawled in purple ink. You showed your paper to Grayson and he gave you a look of surprise. 

     “Maybe he has a crush on you.” Grayson jokes. You shove his arm away and laugh, not realizing how loud you’re being.  

     “Miss Y/L/N. Care to share what you’re laughing about with the class?” Professor Driver’s voice carries loud across the classroom, booming off the walls into your ears. You instantly feel your face heat up at his comment. 

     “No Professor Driver sorry.” You mumble just loud enough for him to hear. 

     “Then I suggest you don’t laugh in my classroom. Keep it outside.” He speaks in a stern voice, sparking slight excitement mixed with fear inside of you.

     You simply nod in reply and smile at Grayson, making sure to stay quiet the rest of the class so as to not get in trouble again. After the lecture is over, you let Grayson know that you are going to stay behind to talk to Professor Driver. Although it isn’t his official office hours, you know he has time before the next class ends so he stays in the same room. You decide to take this opportunity to apologize sincerely for being loud in class as well as ask him about the notes left on presumably only your test. Walking towards his desk, you grip your essay in your hand and approach his desk where he is sat grading. 

“Professor Driver?” You ask, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N?” He responds, still keeping his eyes focused on the grading at hand. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry for what happened in class today. I’m just good friends with Grayson and we got carried away and I laughed too loud I promise it’ll never happen again I just-” 

“Stop. It’s okay. Just as long as you don’t do it again we won’t have any problems.” He interrupts. “Now is that all?” 

“Um no,” you pause for a moment, gathering your thoughts, “I actually wanted to also ask about my essay.” 

Before you can get any further he interrupts you again. 

“You know the rules. Talking about assignments is for office hours, not for time when I am working on your other assignments. You know where the clipboard is so sign up for a time and I’ll get to you.” The entire time he is still focused on the papers in front of him where you notice that there are no comments on anyone’s assignments, furthering your confusion. 

“But-” You try to speak before you are interrupted for the third time. 

“Y/N.” He says your name in such an intense manner that butterflies start up in your stomach. “I told you what to do. Follow the rules.” 

Feeling intimidated, you simply nod your head and make your way out of the classroom. 

                                                           ~

     About a week passes by before there is an opening in office hours. Since the professor is so strict about everything and grades so harshly, everyone is trying to salvage their grades. A couple days before you are supposed to meet, Grayson tells you that he needs to talk to you after school and that it’s very important. You meet him outside the library, where you usually meet, and start walking around campus before stopping in front of a small group of benches where people typically eat their lunch or study. 

     “Listen, Y/N, I need to tell you something. It’s been weighing on my chest for a while and even if it doesn’t turn out to be good I just need to get it all out.” He explains. You simply nod your head in response, allowing him to continue. 

     “I like you. More than a friend. I like you and I want us to be together if you feel the same way.” The words spill from his mouth quickly as if he’s scared of saying them. 

     “You like me?” You say in disbelief, not fully believing it since you’ve never seen him in that way before. He simply nods, shying away from saying anything more. “Why me? Like we’ve been best friends forever what changed your mind?” 

     “Well to be honest with you, when I heard you talking about our professor I got this really jealous feeling in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away so I just went home and thought about it for a bit and realized that I like you I guess.” He lets out a slightly awkward laugh. “And why shouldn’t someone like you? You’re beautiful, smart, and I don’t know I guess I just found something in you that I never noticed before when you talked about him. Sooo…”

     “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about you Gray, but I wanna explore this. I think it could work if I just figure out my emotions. So how about we just spend some time talking and stuff before becoming official?” You question, hoping he says yes because you honestly felt guilty about being so attracted to your shared professor still. 

     “Yes of course Y/N. No rush at all.” His smile is as bright as the sun at the news and the two of you continue your walk, the casual banter usually shared between the two of you having a new feel to it after his confession. 

                                                           ~

     The next couple days before your meeting with Professor Driver, you and Grayson spend almost all of your time together and you are definitely getting feelings for him. With each brush of your hands together or an accidental bump into the other, you feel your attraction growing to be as strong as his yet still not enough to be official yet. You had never noticed how attractive he was before all of this had happened though. Of course you had always known he was a handsome guy simply because his features were nicely arranged but you found yourself just wanting to look at him a lot of the time. A couple times he caught you, laughing and grabbing your hand to intertwine it with his as you continued whatever you had been doing. You were definitely in it now. But what about Professor Driver?

                                                           ~

    It was finally the day of your meeting with Professor Driver and you regretted wearing the skirt that Grayson had wanted you to wear for him, simply because you knew how clumsy you were and didn’t want to accidentally flash your teacher. Although in your mind deep down you knew it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

     After classes were over for the day, you instructed Grayson to wait at the bench right outside of the building so that you could get in and get out fast, returning directly to him. You made your way into the lobby, continuing down into the familiar classroom. Professor Driver was sitting at his desk on his computer, presumably putting in grades or something else having to do with all the grading he’s been doing lately. 

You knock slightly on the door and he motions to come in. You walk in and sit across from him in a plush chair with wooden arms, immediately putting your essay on the desk in front of you. 

“So I was just wondering about my essay test because I noticed that, at least from those around me, I am the only one with extra comments added. I got a good grade and the comments are positive so I was just wondering why mine has comments and others who did just as good do not.” You speak concisely as to make sure things are fast, not wanting to spend any more time around the temptation that is your professor longer than you have to. 

“Well, I saw that you have potential. The students I believe have potential, I actually put extra work into and make sure I add what they have done right and wrong to improve them as students and people. You just happen to be the only one with potential in this class therefore you are the only one with extra comments. Your essay was the only one to fully address each thing I instructed you all to address and with the work you do in class I see that although you do spend some time messing around with Mr. Dolan, you get your work done and you always hit the nail on the head.” As he speaks he almost unnoticeably glances down at your chest, where your cleavage was showing due to the low v-neck of your shirt. You take notice but leave the looks to your imagination, a red blush covering your face and moving down your neck at his compliments. 

“Thank you so much Professor Driver. I really appreciate your kind words.” You smile sweetly at him. 

“It’s no problem Y/N” he uses your first name once again making butterflies arise in your stomach. “Good girls deserve praise.” He is barely speaking above a whisper but you still hear him, the words instantly affecting you. You clench your thighs slightly to keep your arousal at bay. 

“What was that Professor?” You pretend as if you didn’t hear him, hoping it was just your mind playing tricks on you. 

He looks you up and down before gazing directly into your eyes. 

“I think you know what I said. I can tell by the way you’re clenching your thighs together Y/N.” It hadn’t registered that he was tall enough to see clearly over the desk. You immediately move your legs apart quickly, accidentally giving him a peek of the pink lace panties you were wearing.

“I-i’m sorry Professor I didn’t mean anything by it I’m kind of seeing someone I just-” Before you can finish your sentence, Grayson is walking up to you. You hadn’t realized that he’d come inside to check on you and heard what just happened. 

“Yeah you’re damn right you’re seeing someone. Me. So why are you” He looks pointedly at the large man sitting in the chair across from you “saying things like that to her? Doesn’t seem very professional of you to say, does it?” 

The professor is taken aback by Grayson’s words but simply looks up from his sitting position. 

“You’re simply too young to know what she wants. You can’t pleasure a woman without experience.” The words fall freely from his mouth as if he hasn’t a care in the world and he returns to grading the papers in front of him. 

Grayson’s mouth opens quickly in shock before he closes it again, responding angrily. 

“And what the fuck would you know about pleasing a woman? Don’t think you’re all big and bad just because you’re an old man. And not that you need to know, but I have plenty of experience thank you very much.” Grayson moves closer to you as he says this almost as if he’s protecting you. 

Professor Driver places his pen down before pushing his chair out from his desk and standing to his full height. Your breath is caught in your throat as you see how much taller the man truly is compared to Grayson. It’s not a lot but considering the circumstances it’s enough to make a difference. Grayson’s head tips back a bit as to make eye contact. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about so I’d be quiet if I were you.” The professor warns. “You probably haven’t even made her wet yet,have you? But I had her clenching her thighs together with four simple words. So tell me now, Mr. Dolan, exactly why you think you have experience?”  

Grayson is almost at a loss for words but an idea springs to his head. He reaches over to you, wrapping your hair around his fist and pulling you towards him causing you to let out a small whine at the pressure on your roots.  

“She’s mine. It doesn’t matter what the fuck you say.” Grayson’s eyes are red with anger. The bigger man steps forward so that you are now stuck between the two of them, tension so thick you couldn’t even cut it with the sharpest of knives. The two large men sandwiched you between them as angry glares are shared, the amount of testosterone elevating due to the threat of the other male. You looked between the two, having to tilt your head back to see both of their faces before you realized the expanse of their chests on either side of you. The way that they had you, you felt more like a prize to be won than an actual person. You weren’t complaining. 

“How about we let Miss Y/L/N decide? We can both fuck her and she’ll chose who she likes better. Although I think it would be a waste of time since we all know it’s me.” Professor Driver proclaims. Grayson reluctantly agrees as he turns you towards him. 

“Mr. Dolan. Go lock the door and pull down the curtain.” The professor’s eyes are trained on you as he says this, large hands moving down to your waist and pulling you towards him. “Gonna be a good little girl for me, huh?” He whispers in your ear, sending chills down your spine as you nod your head. 

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ do what you say.” Grayson argues, observing already what a grasp the older man has on you. The same man’s movements stop and he holds on to you. You look at Grayson with pleading eyes. 

“P-please Gray. Lock it and close the c-curtain. I need you.” Your words are filled with a deep whimpering hunger that you can no longer control. Grayson gives in since you said it and does as he is told. As he is walking away, the professor leans close into your ear. 

“You are allowed to call me anything you want. My name is Adam if you’d like to call me that but I prefer something a little more fun.” His lips are ghosting across your ear as he speaks, your knees going weak at just his words. Grayson returns quickly, grabbing your forearm and pulling you into his chest, before kissing you passionately. His lips are rough against yours and you can feel the anger in each movement he makes. Before you know it, Adam is behind you placing his hands up your skirt to take down the lace beneath. He rids of the small piece of fabric and lifts your skirt, large hands canvassing your ass before placing a harsh smack across it. You moan into your kiss with Grayson, letting him know the amount of pleasure you’re receiving from the admittedly more experienced man. 

Grayson moves away from you and pulls your shirt over your head, throwing it behind him along with your bra before kissing all the way from your neck down to your nipples. He takes one into his mouth, kneading and pinching the other with his other hand. While all of this is happening, Adam is removing your skirt and reaching his hand between your legs from the back to rub at your sensitive core which caused his hands to practically drip with your arousal. Before Grayson is done the professor pulls you towards him by your hips and turns you around by your hips, lifting you up. You wrap your legs around him, your core rubbing against the material of his button up, neither one of the men having gotten undressed yet. 

“S-sir please. Need more” You whine, burying your face into Adam’s neck and biting on the skin there. He lets out a grunt at your teeth against his skin. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” He reassures you, sweeping everything off of his desk and placing you on top. Grayson moves towards the two of you to keep himself included but he has no idea how to get access to you in the position that the older man has put you in. As Adam is unbuttoning his pants to be able to slide into you, Grayson takes his chance and moves towards you, crouching down after pushing the professor away and licking up the juices dripping from your core. Adam steps back, slightly impressed by Grayson’s willpower but still wanting to win you over. He lets Grayson continue, walking around to the side of you and moving your chin to face him. You come face to face with his huge cock and almost gasp in amazement of how big it is. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever seen.

“Open your mouth princess, take me in.” He demands softly, using his thumb to open your mouth for you before sliding himself in. The combination of him in your mouth and Grayson’s mouth fixed on you has you moaning around your professor so much to the point that after a bit he almost comes. He pulls out of your mouth and moves back around to where Grayson is. 

“Move.” He demands, feet planted firmly as to assert his dominance over the younger man as he unbuttons and takes off his button up shirt. Grayson heeds what he says and moves to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. 

“Do you want my cock in you, dirty little girl? You want me to fill you up, huh?” Adam asks, rubbing his tip up and down your folds to tease you before you answer. You pull away from Grayson’s kiss as he moves down your neck, gripping your hair tightly before moving his other hand to grip your neck. 

“Y-yes please sir. Please.” You are almost crying at how desperate you are to be filled, pleading eyes looking directly into Adam’s. He smiles at your begging and plunges all the way into you, making you shout out in a mix of pleasure and pain. Grayson comforts you, leaving soft caresses all down your body. He even tries to rub your clit when your hips buck up but Adam smacks his hand away, instead pressing his forearm against your hips to force them to stay down. 

“You say you’re experienced but don’t even know not to let her be such a greedy little bitch? Yeah okay.” Adam snarks, Grayson simply ignoring him and standing up so you could suck him off like you had done to Adam earlier. You open your mouth and take Grayson in as Adam pounds away into you in a way so good you can’t even begin to explain. Your legs are shaking with each pump he takes in and out before you finally are about to release around him. 

“You need to ask my permission to cum, baby. If you want it you need to beg it’s not just gonna be that easy.” Adam’s previously stern voice turned a bit sweeter at these orders, knowing it would be difficult for you to keep everything in considering how hard and fast he was going. You pull away from Grayson and he continues to stroke himself next to you.  

“Please Adam please let me come. Please I’ll do anything. Anything.” The last word comes out as nothing but a whine as you clench around him. 

“C’mon kitten. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He only goes harder and faster as he says it, both men now being close to finishing. Grayson soon finishes, his liquids landing across your chest and seeing him is what sets you off. You cum around Adam, your walls clamping down around him so hard that he cums as well. He pushes all the way into you to keep all the juices, both yours and his, all inside of you before pulling out slowly so as to not let anything fall to the floor. Grayson steps to the side, taking off his shirt and using it to wipe his cum from your chest before Adam moves to your face, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. He pinches your cheeks so that your mouth opens and spits straight into it, showing Grayson who really has control. You swallow what he just gave you and moan, legs shaking from how hard you came. Grayson takes a look at the older man and just laughs, observing the destruction they both did to you. Adam smiles in return before grabbing you and making you sit up straight. 

“So, who’s it gonna be? Who’s the better fuck, princess?” The professor asks. 

You pause for a moment. 

“Can’t I just have both?”

[oliviaischillin1204]

roman’s experiment

Pairings: Platonic Royality, Platonic Logince, Platonic Prinxiety (none of them interact w each other except roman but everything can be LAMP if u believe)

Word Count: 3,498

inspired by (and directly stolen from) (jk jk i love you) this post by @ssm0lb34n which. is VERY good y’all. i was just going to comment on their post but then this hit 1.5K and i said “hm maybe not”. anyways that’s it love u mwah

also i didn’t realize til i was almost done that, thematically and storywise, tis very similar to ‘music to my ears’, but. it’s a good formula lmao (although i got hella carried away again lmao. idk if it’s bc it was the last pairing or bc i am prinxiety trash, but anything prinxiety is just gonna end up being twice as long as the others and i’m just gonna have to be ok with that)

Roman glanced curiously as his hands. He had been playing around with his appearance in the Imagination, and had somehow accidentally given himself long nails. He flexed his fingers, wiggling them back and forth. It felt kinda weird, but he decided they weren’t that bad. Especially, he realized suddenly, because of how useful they could be in certain... situations.

He paused, smirking to himself. Oh, this could be fun.

~

“Hey, Padre!”

Patton looked over his shoulder to see Roman standing behind the couch.

“Hey, Ro!” He responded with a smile. “What’re you doing back there?”

“I had an idea,” Roman replied. “Would you care to be my guinea pig?”

Patton’s grin brightened. “Of course! What do I do?”

“Right now, nothing. Just sit there and stay still. Okay? No moving.”

Patton quirked his head a little, but he nodded. “Alright, here I go!”

He turned and faced forward, scrunching his face in concentration. Roman was silent for a few seconds, and the longer he waited, the more Patton wanted to squirm.

Finally Patton had to speak up. “Am I doing it right, Ro-oman!”

Patton cut himself off with a gasp at the feeling of… something drawing slow circles on his upper back. He tensed, grabbing his legs as a couple giggles escaped his mouth.

“Ro-Roman, what is thahahat?”

Roman didn’t answer, just hummed playfully. Patton was about to ask again when the senstions moved from the top of his back to lightly scraping over his shoulderblades, reaching the back of his ribs and scratching up and down relentlessly.

Patton laughed outright, jerking forward in an attempt to escape the tickly feeling, but the tickles just followed him, ruthlessly not deviating from that one little spot where his waistline met his back. He brought his arms up against his chest, uselessly clenching and unclenching his fists.

“Better keep still, Patton,” Roman sang. “Otherwise I’ll have to start my experiment all over again!”

But Patton couldn’t stop squirming now if he tried, throwing his body left and right as his laughter increased in volume.

“Ah! Rohoman, no!” Patton squealed. “That’s not fahahair!”

The tickly feelings left the back of his sides (thank GOD) before returning to his shoulder blades (oh, come ON!). Patton felt several different pokey things begin to dig in all around those sensitive bones, spidering over his left shoulder blade while clawing in circles around his right.

Patton couldn’t help the shocked laughter that burst from his lips. “ROMAN! NO! NO-O, NO, NO NO NO!”

He threw himself backwards, slamming his back against the couch cushions, but all that did was pin Roman’s evil hands behind him. The tickles seemed to intensify even more, which he didn’t even think was possible.

Patton barely heard Roman chuckle over his own laughter. “You gotta free my hands, Pops! If they can’t escape, they’ll just keep tickling and tickling and tickling…”

Patton screamed, throwing himself forward yet again, this time rolling all the way to the floor to escape the sensations at last. He laid there, taking greedy breaths as he tried to make his back stop tingling.

“Whahahat was that, Ro?” He asked through his lingering giggles, catching the creative side’s eye over the back of the couch.

Roman just smiled and held up his hands, showing off his unusually long nails. Patton’s eyes widened.

“That’s all it was? Just your nails?”

Roman nodded, coming around the couch to help the paternal side of the ground. “How did it feel?”

“Oh, my gosh, Ro,” Patton replied, still a little breathless, “that tickled like crazy! I thought I was gonna lose my mind!”

Roman quirked an eyebrow. “And imagine what could’ve happened if I had gone for your neck, or your ears, or-”

“No!” Patton exclaimed, covering his ears and scrunching his neck defensively. Roman burst out laughing.

“Don’t worry, Padre, I’m done with you. For now,” he added sweetly, causing Patton to giggle lightly in nervous anticipation.

“I’m off to find my next guinea pig.”

~

He didn’t have to look very far.

Roman passed Patton’s bedroom open bedroom door, coming to the next closed door in the hallway: Logan’s room.

He rapped his knuckles on the door and promptly hid his hands behind his back. “Logan!”

No answer. Roman bounced on his heels.

“Yo, Teach! Open up!”

Still nothing.

“Logan! I need your help with an experiment!“

Immediately the door swung open. “Hello, Roman. How may I help you?”

Roman grinned. “I’ll tell you how you can help me.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back, wiggling his clawed fingers menancingly.

“You can start laughing!”

Roman waited for Logan to react with fear, or excitement, or… well. Any reaction, really.

Instead, Logan raised a single eyebrow. “Why would I be laughing?”

Roman paused. “Because I’m going to tickle you.”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “Ah. I see. No, thank you.”

He went to shut the door in Roman’s face, but the creative side held it open.

“Come on, Specs! It’ll be fun.”

“I do not see how forcefully stimulating my nerve endings would be fun,” Logan replied, returning to where he had been reclining on his bed. “I was having a perfectly satisfactory afternoon, and I wish to continue it now.”

Roman moved to stand the foot of Logan’s bed. “Logan,” he whined. “I wanna try tickling you with my new nails! Please?”

Logan sighed, crossing one leg over another as he picked up the book on his bedside table. “Do whatever you want, but please don’t bother me.”

He opened his book to the bookmarked page without another word.

The creative side pouted. It wouldn’t be any fun if Logan wasn’t going to play along. He let his gaze drift around, until he caught sight of Logan’s socked feet near the end of his bed.

Roman felt himself begin to smile as the gears turned in his head. He knew how to make it fun.

He quietly knelt down, leaning his elbows on the end of Logan’s mattress. The logical side did not react, although whether he was absorbed in his book or simply ignoring Roman, he couldn’t be sure.

He stayed there for a few seconds, not doing anything, before lifting one finger and dragging the sharpened nail slowly down Logan’s foot.

He watched the serious side for any indication that he should stop. He didn’t want Logan to actually get mad at him, after all. But Roman was surprised to find that there was pretty much no reaction, except-

Except his fingers tightened slightly where they held the book. Roman grinned widely. Bingo.

He repeated the motion, this time with one nail on each foot, pressing not hard enough to hurt, but certainly hard enough to send tickly sensations through Logan’s socks.

He heard the other side inhale just a little to quickly, exhale a little too forcefully for it to be natural. But he still didn’t say anything.

Roman repeated these little motions for a while longer before he sighed. “I guess this isn’t working, because you’re clearly not ticklish,” he admitted with a fake frown. Logan cleared his throat.

“Clearly,” he replied, although there was a tremor in his voice.

“Well, since you’re not ticklish… and since you haven’t asked me to stop…” Roman said, relishing in the way Logan’s eyes widened when he realized his mistake, “You wouldn’t mind if I continued? You know, for my experiment?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but immediately slammed it shut again when Roman began focusing all of his attention on the balls of his feet, scratching his nails roughly to really make the tickles unbearable.

Roman leaned back with a smug look on his face. Oh, this was delightful. Logan was blushing, a rare sight on the normally stoic side. He was biting his bottom lip fiercely, clearly doing everything in his power not to laugh, but there was no hiding that wobbly smile on his face.

“You, okay, Logan?” Roman asked, lacing his voice with faux-concern. “You look a little funny.”

“I am fi- mmph!” Logan clamped his lips shut again, his smile fully dominating his face. Maybe it had something to do with the way Roman had just dug his fingers right underneath his toes.

“Are you sure?” Roman asked. “You seem to be having trouble talking- not that I’m complaining.” He smirked up at Logan from his position by his feet. The logical side refused to look at him, keeping his gaze solely on the book that Roman was sure he hasn’t read a word of in the past five minutes.

“Is this the way to shut you up, Lo?” He teased, watching in glee as the blush on Logan’s face deepened. “Just some itty bitty scratchies right under the teacher’s ticklish toesies? Aw, but it surely can’t tickle, because you’re not ticklish, right?”

The baby talk pushed him over: Logan finally broke into desperate giggles. He tried to pull his feet away, but Roman was too quick, pinning both ankles with one hand while he used the other to rake his fingers down both of Logan’s soles at the same time.

“Ro-man!” The word barely escaped Logan’s mouth before he succumbed to full belly laughter, fruitlessly jerking his legs in Roman’s grasp.

The creative side merely laughed. “I wonder what these nails would feel like on your bare feet-”

“NO!” Logan screamed, the word ripping through his throat as he finally yanked his feet out of Roman’s clutches.

Roman couldn’t stop the laughter that exploded from him even if he wanted to. Logan’s face, flustered and embarrassed and slightly murderous, was just too funny.

When he finally regained his breath, he smiled cheekily at Logan. “Wasn’t that so much fun, Logi Bear?”

Logan scowled at the childish nickname, but his lips still threatened to curl up at the edges.

“You are atrocious,” he muttered. Roman raised an eyebrow and reached for his feet.

“I could keep going-”

Logan pulled his knees up to his chest. “Please don’t.”

Roman smiled at the panic in Logan’s voice. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you alone.”

As he left Logan’s room, shutting the door behind him, he grinned. These nails were a better idea than he’d ever expected.

~

Roman retreated to his room after what he considered a very successful day. His experiences with Patton and Logan definitely proved to him how strategic long nails could be. The one thing that somewhat dimmed his excitement at his discovery was the fact that there was one side in particular that he hadn’t gotten a chance to use them on: Virgil.

He had tried to look for the anxious side after he was done with Logan, but he was nowhere to be found. In fact, they didn’t see him at all for the rest of the evening. Patton had been a little concerned (Roman was as well, but he’d never admit it), but Logan assured them that it was perfectly normal behavior for Virgil to spend a prolonged amount of time by himself, and that there was nothing to worry about.

Roman was comforted by Logan’s assurance that everything would be okay (although, again, he’d never admit it), but he was a little disappointed the grumpy side hadn’t gotten to be a part of Roman’s experiment. However, Roman knew it wasn’t the end of the world. Virgil didn’t always want to play in the same way Roman played with the others, and that was totally fine.

Besides, Roman thought as he examined his nails, they weren’t just good for tickling, and in fact they looked rather good on him anyway. As he reclined in his bed, Roman pulled out a nail file, making sure to maintain his nails to their ideal shape and length.

He hadn’t been filing his nails for very long before his door was opened rather forcefully. He looked up in surprise to find Virgil standing in the doorway.

“Um, knock much?” He asked, frowning at the intrusion.

“Nah,” Virgil replied, uncharacteristically flippant. He walked over to Roman’s bed and flopped next to the creative side, jostling him quite badly.

Roman watched him with a confused look on his face. “Can I help you?”

“Nah,” Virgil repeated. Roman’s eyes narrowed.

“Did you come in here just to be a nuisance?”

“Yup.”

Roman sighed, bringing his attention back to his nails. “Well, keep still. I’m trying to work on something here.”

There was no snarky response from the other side, which was suspicious. Roman shot another glance at Virgil, only to realize that his focus was solely on Roman’s hands.

He glanced down at his nails, smiling a little as he wiggled them. “You like ‘em? I’ve had ‘em like this all day.”

Virgil snapped out of his little trance, shooting an irritated look at Roman. “Does that have anything to do with why Patton and Logan were screaming so loudly earlier?” 

Roman smirked, fondly remembering the shenanigans from that afternoon. “Afraid so. I hope we didn’t bother you.”

“You did,” Virgil replied bluntly. “You interrupted my naps. I couldn’t sleep all day.”

If Logan were here, he’d probably lecture Virgil about the importance of a regular sleep cycle and how detrimental mid-day naps can be, but Roman was not Logan. Instead, he tried to summon his inner Patton.

“I’m sorry, Virgil,” he said genuinely, “I didn’t realize we were being so loud-”

“It’s fine,” Virgil interjected. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep in here.”

With that, he crawled right over Roman’s legs, attempting to... lay on top of him, for some reason?

“What the-? Get off!” Roman insisted, grabbing the emo side. The two wrestled for a few moments before Virgil ended up lying on his back in Roman’s lap.

“Virgil!” Roman wasn’t really angry, just highly confused. “What are you doing? Go sleep in your own bed!”

“Shh,” Virgil insisted, closing his eyes and folding his arms across his chest. “Let me sleep.”

Roman was almost at a loss for words. Virgil was normally so closed off, reserved, and totally aversive to unnecessary or intimate touch. Yet here he was, laying right across Roman’s lap for absolutely no reason. He and Roman bickered often, but Virgil was never this outwardly and intentionally annoying.

... Well. There was one reason that would make Virgil act like this.

Roman’s eyes flicked to the file in his hand, then to Virgil’s stomach, and back again. His eyes widened, and he smirked. Oh, he knew what Virgil was doing. But if he thought it was gonna be that easy, he had another thing coming.

“Okay, then,” Roman replied, and went back to filing his nails.

It was quiet for a bit, just the light shuffling sound of Roman’s file. Out of his peripheral, he saw Virgil frown at the lack of attention.

Suddenly he heaved a great sigh, wiggling around in Roman’s lap and jostling his hands yet again. A little bit of his hoodie and t-shirt pulled up, revealing a small stretch of tummy.

“Virgil, can you stop moving? I’m busy.”

Roman made sure to keep his face neutral at Virgil’s petulant look, but the emo side said nothing as Roman returned to the task at hand (pun intended).

This continued for several minutes, Virgil shifting around in increasingly obvious ways, while Roman ignored him in favor of meticulously perfecting his nails, giving the task much more attention than he normally would.

By the time he finished, almost Virgil’s entire tummy was exposed, but Roman had not done a single thing about it. Instead, he let the anxious side become more and more desperate, knowing that the anticipation was making him even more sensitive than he already was.

As Roman set aside the nail file, he noticed that there was a bit of nail dust left on his fingers. He grinned to himself, returning his hands to their place over Virgil’s torso before taking a deep breath and blowing the dust away, making sure that the stream of breath hit Virgil’s tummy.

The emo side jerked under him, his sensitivity through the roof after waiting so long for Roman to tickle him. He looked at Roman with wide eyes, but the creative side just smiled sweetly.

“Oh, sorry, Virgil. I didn’t mean to bother you, I know you’re trying to sleep. In fact, let me get out of your way, I don’t want to be a distraction-” He began to manuever himself out from underneath Virgil, but the emo side grabbed his sleeve rather forcefully.

“Roman...” Virgil pleaded, his voice low and slightly strained. Roman stopped, giving him an innocent smile.

“Yes, Virgil?”

The emo side didn’t respond, just folded his arms across his face and groaned.

“Sorry, Virgil, what was that?” Roman asked, sitting back fully.

Virgil muttered something unintelligible, his voice muffled by his hoodie.

Roman tsked. “Virge, you know you gotta speak loud and clear for me. Otherwise there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

Knowing that Virgil wasn’t looking at him, Roman hovered both of his freshly manicured hands over Virgil’s tummy.

“So I’m gonna ask you one more time: what do you want, Virgil?”

Virgil groaned even louder, slamming his arms down. “I want you to tickle me!”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Virgil’s gaze flicked from Roman’s face to his hands, now mere inches away from his vulnerable tummy. He gasped, sucking in his gut, but Roman only laughed.

“Oh? That’s it?” He responded, wiggling his fingers as he slowly edged them toward Virgil’s tummy. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Wait wait wait wahahait,” Virgil begged, giggles already coming out of his mouth.

Roman hummed in consideration. “No, I think you’ve waited long enough.”

With that, he touched down on Virgil’s skin, drawing delicate designs with his newly-filed fingernails.

There was no hiding his laughter this time; Virgil was already way too keyed up to even try that. Instead he broke into nervous giggles immediately, a steady stream of laughter that increased in volume whenever Roman moved too close to certain spots- like his bottom rib, for instance. Or just above his naval. Or the dip of his hipbone. Or halfway down his side. Or- well. Let’s just say there were a lot of ticklish little spots for Roman to work with.

“Aw, Virgil,” Roman cooed as the usually grumpy side laughed his head off, half-curled up in Roman’s lap, “I had no idea you’d like my nails so much! I wish I’d known sooner- we could’ve played together like this all day long.” He made sure to lace his words with as much sugar as he could muster, knowing that the one thing that made Virgil more ticklish, was talking about his ticklishness.

Well, Roman thought as he remembered how desperate the emo side had been for some tummy tickles, who was he to deny his good friend Virgil what he so obviously desired?

“Now Virgil, this is an experiment, you know,” he continued as if Virgil wasn’t giggling uncontrollably. “So I need to know, what tickles more? When I do this-” 

He spidered his nails on either side of Virgil’s belly button, causing him to squeal.

“-Or this?” He finished, slowly raking his nails down Virgil’s ribs. Virgil’s laughter turned into gasps as he struggled not to pull Roman’s hands away from his belly, instead waving his arms rather uselessly around him.

“N- no- Ro- I cahahahan’t!” He cried, his wide smile lighting up the room.

Roman laughed. “Didn’t you ask for this, stormcloud? Isn’t this what you wanted?” Virgil couldn’t answer through his laughter, but the blush across his cheeks told Roman that he was right. He redirected his hands yet again, one hand raking his nails across where Virgil’s side met his tummy, and the other dipping it pointer finger inside Virgil’s bellybutton.

“Ahahahahaha- Roman!” Virgil shrieked, kicking his legs as his peals of laughter left him.

Roman hummed. “If it’s such a problem, then move away.” He did slow his tickle attack, just in case Virgil really wanted to stop, but the other side made no move to escape.

“Sh- shuhuhut up!” He spit through his giggles, which grew back into loud laughter as Roman resumed his fierce tickles.

“No one tells me to shut up!” Roman declared, not holding back as he scratched and skittered his nails all over Virgil’s tummy, sides, and hips. “Prepare for death!”

Death was right; by the time Virgil batted Roman’s arm, giving the signal to stop, he was nearly out of breath altogether. Roman rubbed away the tingles with the palm of his hand, making sure to keep his nails from accidentally grazing Virgil’s skin.

“So? What do you think?” He asked Virgil once he caught his breath.

He shrugged, looking up at Roman with a content expression. “It was your experiment. What do you think?”

Roman stopped and pondered, before smiling. “I think these nails will definitely come in handy around here.”

[selfcareparker]

LMAO YOU ACTUALLY PUT THE TW VIOLENCE HAHAGDSHS

so the better university is in germany.. you already live in germany.. but germans aren't good as good at english lol and lemme get this straight- UNIVERSITY IN GERMANY IS- wait shit Imaooo i read that wrong, I THOUGHT IT WAS 75¢ HDJSHS like 3 quarters😭 but that's still less expensive compared to the US, 75€ is about 90$ here... i just googled it and (apparently) college is typically around $27,000 in my state (22,588€ i think lol) but wowee gee whiz. i think waiting till you’re physically there is the best decision though, just really seeing how it is, how you like it and stuff. BUT WAIT Imao i'm rereading what you said as i'm responding, but the university sounds good!! hopefully your professor isn't the one writing the english on the website Imaoo. your english is fine hdhsjsh & why are you up at 3am😭

i'm literally jumping around udhsj but no that did absolutely make sense hahah i just really enjoy talking to you & wanted to tell you what's up lol but yay we're around the same age hdhagajs

+ yes i have !!! thank you LMAO I BET YOURE NOT THAT BAD JHDJS that whole paragraph actually made me laugh. dude i could neverrr write a script where people have to act it out? lmao it would not be pretty (though i need to work on that) well if you’re not good at acting, you’re hella good at writing (I FINISHED THE ENTIRETY OF UR PETER MASTERLIST AND I AM EMPTY & I AM SCREAMING- i’ll send in another ask on my favorites and all my replies bc WAH they had such an affect on me.......... it’s not ok. like affectttt)

HAHHAA “trash garbage” yea... she was helpful in helping me get my first lead on stage but yea that school as a whole was pretty 💩 but honestly thank youuu <3 my new favorite thing? “thump them in the eye with a sharp metal rod” i think i have one in the basement LMAO

that was a joke...... i think this will also need a tw..... but all my asks are messy lmaoo- not me missing the heritage thing in the tags: that’s so cool!! i’m guessing you’ve been the england since your mom is british? knowing two languages sounds so cool😔 and you speak really good english btw (is that rude-) OOHH so you’re german bc you were born in germany but none of your blood family is german & ur mom is british? bRO that’s so cool like literally 😎 i wanna travel so bad and the UK is first on the list (probably in two years.. i do really wanna study abroad or be a foreign exchange student or something) then Jamaica (bc that’s where my mom is from and i’ve never been) and then all the pretty countries lol

have a good day/night idk lol it took me really long to write this + idk why jdhsjshsj

- lovely anon 🥰

OKAY HI OMG (I was about to say giiirrrl but i never asked for your pronouns or anything so let me know if it’s okay if i say giiiiirl in the future lol)

I saw this at 3 am and got so excited lol but my sleeping schedule has been so awful lately that I forced myself to sleep instead of replying to this 😔

Okay so... if you put it like THAT then yes, the university in germany sounds a lot better lol. But yeah like you said I won’t fully decide until I’ve actually been to university (well, it’s online but ykwim) and that starts in april and honestly i can’t wait sksjshh but yeah i’m like 90% sure that i’ll be staying here already. And yes let’s pray that it’s not one of my professors who writes the shit on the website sishshg😭

also what you said about wanting to be a foreign exchange student or studying abroad... i felt that. but even if i end up studying in germany, with my degree, you have to either do an 8week programme (program? idk) where you go to an english speaking country,,, or you do a whole semester studying abroad so i’ll probably go to england one way or another lol and i can always do my masters in the uk (if i do a masters degree i haven’t even figured out what i’m doing this year let alone in three years loll)

Also I really have to stop saying lol so often lol

Also I have to stop saying also at the beginning of every sentence lol

Also (😔) i enjoy talking to you too 👉🏼👈🏼 you don’t know how happy i get whenever i see that you sent me an askd sjsjhshshs

And yupp i used to go to england like three times a year but because of cov*d i haven’t seen any of my english relatives since 2019🥺🥲 BUT the uk is so so so nice i love London but I also love the country side and esp the north of england 🥰🥰🥰 (that’s where most of my relatives are) and yes you deffffff need to visit one day!!!!!!!

Also (also is such a good word tho sksjsh) likeee i definitely don’t think it’s rude when people say my english is good dkdhsg so thank you 😌 but if you heard me speak english irl, i don’t have a german accent or anything and i’m 100% fluent but writing like this is different because it’s like... it’s not an essay so obviously not every sentence has to be 100% grammatically correct but i always worry that, because people know english isn’t my first language (only because i’ve told them), people think my english is bad and that i’m making mistakes when really it’s normal to just.. not use 100% grammatically correct word constructions all the time if that makes sense...? (I don’t think it does 👁👄👁 this was the worst paragraph i’ve written in my life i’m SORRY ksjshs, usually i’d delete this but i feel comfortable talking to you so even if it doesn’t make sense i’m not deleting my rantssjshsh)

And yup, speaking multiple languages is (in my opinion) one of the coolest things ever, i’m fluent in english and german, i had latin from year 7-12 so even though it’s not a language that people speak anymore, learning latin was one of the coolest experiences of my life (which sounds so lame dkshshs) because obviously in all the roman languages soo many words come from latin, so sometimes when i hear/read words in languages that i don’t even speak i can tell what it means thanks to latin. I can also kindaaaaaaaa speak/understand italian (where like 90% of words are the same as in latin or even some english and german words so i never had to study the vocabulary in school skshsh) and a liiiiiiittle tiny bit of french and serbian. I know quite a few people who speak 3+ languages because a lot of my friends are the same as me and have parents who aren’t german so they speak their dad’s language, their mum’s language AND german and it’s like the most fascinating thing in the world for me

I HAVE TO STOP TALKING NOW I’M SO SORRY WHATDKSKSJSNSMHDS

And ooohhhh my mum’s best friend is from Jamaica and my mum has allllll these beautiful pictures from when they went to jamaica together when they were younger (goals)🥺🥺🥺 so i really hope you can visit one day✨✨✨ (i wanna go to jamaica too one day sksjs but i think it’s even cooler if you’re like actually jamaican obviously and it’s linked to your heritage)

OKAY THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS I AM SO SO SO SORRY SKSHSBAKSKSHSJAHAHABA but i enjoy talking to you so i shouldn’t really apologise but still like what was the point of all my rambling? Nothing basically dksjsh also I feel like i keep talking about myself but idk what to say and likeee i don’t even know, so how has your life been since covid? (That’s My attempt to ask about YOU lmao tell me whatever you want about yourself sksjsh)

Okay byeee 💖💖💖💖💖

Edit: i realised i haven’t said anything about you finishing/reading everything on my peter masterlist AHSJSKKSBSBSSBSB thank you thank you thank you, sooo i can’t promise anything but i will most likely post a new fic this weekend... but idk if it’s going to be good? I randomly started writing it last night and i definitely like the plot but i’m always so insecure about my actual writing and wording but yeah... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[aqvarius]

HLITF: This is not the story of your first night: Soma - otona love - chapter 4 summary/translation

anyway i guess you didn’t have to wait that long for chapter 4 but only because i couldn’t wait and had to keep reading. you can find the previous chapter here, or check my new translations page to read from the beginning. my translations masterpost is not rebloggable or mobile-friendly yet but i will update when i make one! otherwise, you can always just search the tag “summary” or “translation” on my blog or follow the links in my previous chapter posts to find the previous posts. 

previously, soma had just said that what he was refraining [re: verbal attacking] from was... 

naturally, he finishes his sentence outrageously:

soma: “i’m only refraining ..... in bed”

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) <-- btw, the mc reacts the same way

he whispers this to you so closely that his lips are basically touching your ears again. 

soma: “are you displeased?”

keep reading for irritated momose, soma being the best boyfriend ever, and him asking something of you that is so predictable of him...

side note: i know you are probably all sick of me gloating about how well i understand soma that i can predict his behaviour/know what to expect but i’m just so pleased to see all this teasing and manipulation in canon. anyway how dare he ask that with such a sweet smile on his face. he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

soma: “or is it better to refrain in the workplace after all?”

you say that you’d prefer that he doesn’t [use verbal attacks] in the workplace as well, but you’ll leave that up to his judgement. deliberately letting his breath fall on your ears, soma drew back with an innocent face. you lament that you really can’t win against soma. 

“by the way, shouldn’t you get going soon?” soma asks.

soma: “tsugaru-san’s loyal dog-kun is about to bare his fangs” (lmaooooo)

you panic that if you wait around any longer, you’ll get bitten. so you “ittekimasu” and soma replies “itterasshai” and you run off after momose. 

this is a new background!! 

you apologise for the wait and momose flashes you one of these:

momose hops into the waiting car and glares silently at you. you can’t see his fangs but it really seems like he’s gonna bite you! 

momose throws the case documents from tsugaru at you and tells you to hammer it into your head before you arrive at the site. you try to ask “site-?” but momose just tells you to read it to understand and then he steps on the accelerator. meanwhile i’m here lamenting the fact that we don’t have a momose driving sprite. i guess they are only reserved for real love interests ;~~;

you exclaim “isn’t it dangerous to start [the car] like that?” and momose says that they are late because of you. you apologise but plead with him to drive safely lmaooo this is so on brand. 

while in the car, you start reading the case files on the target. there’s a group that has been showing suspicious movement right as a summit in tokyo is approaching and one of the members is the target this time. you’re going to the apartment that’s supposed to be their hangout. 

momose doesn’t respond but no response means “yes”... 

you note that there are more than 10 [more than a dozen] targets coming in and out and then momose randomly says “today is friday”. it takes a moment but you suddenly see something in the wording of the case document. turns out that every friday there’s a chance of contact with the terrorist mastermind.

“in other words, today,” says momose. 

“we’ve got to hurry!” you exclaim and momose gives you that silent look again lol. you apologise, saying “who’s the one who’s been saying that...” since you were the one who kept him waiting.  

“but those eyes... they’re too scary...!”

in order to escape from his accusatory glare, you turn your eyes back to the case material. 

“momose-san doesn’t say a lot, so the pressure of his gaze is intense”

“in other words... a shisenzeme [”glare attack”] type?” 

you inadvertently returned your gaze [at momose] that had turned away. he asks “what” and you’re like “nothing!!” you scold yourself a little because you have a job to do today and you need to concentrate on your work. 

i’m just adding these backgrounds here bc i’ve never seen some of them before lol.

it’s late and you couldn’t get any results from today’s work so you return to headquarters at night. you leave the division at 9pm after doing paperwork. 

“i promised i would go to soma-san’s house tonight...!” (😏😏😏)

i’m gleeful about what’s to come but also worried bc it takes me like 5 mins per slide to translate all the euphemistic sex scenes. you send him a text saying “i’m leaving [work] now!” and rush out and - 

your phone chimes with a reply:

“thanks for your hard work*. i’m making paella and waiting for you.”

*otsukaresama = good job/thanks for your hard work/you’ve worked hard

i hope you’ve all realised by now that soma is the greatest boyfriend of all time i love him so much 🥰🥰🥰

clearly hlitf mc thinks the same thing:

“paella! i’m so happy!!”

soma’s immediate reply makes you smile. (same girl, same ;~~;) since soma’s paella is full of seafood, you decide to buy some delicious white wine. 

“you’re arrived so late,” soma says when you arrive at his. he opens the door, looking a little displeased. you apologise and say you bought wine. 

soma: “taking such a detour...”

you show him the wine but his expression doesn’t change. you wonder if he’s angry... you were working late and you wish you had come straight to his. he asks you if it’s a white [wine] from spain, and you say you think it would compliment his paella. he says it should. 

soma: “a wonderful selection” 

i’m so happy to be praised by him lol. you’re like “yokatta...!” (i’m glad). soma says it was worth the wait. it’s a little disagreeable when you arrived (not really sure if i translated this bit correctly) but he’s not criticising/reproaching you. 

“let’s go eat,” soma says, and you say yes!!

“mm~ soma-san’s paella is the most delicious after all”

soma: “i’m honoured to receive your compliment”

he jokingly bows his head, and you enjoy a late dinner together. he says that the wine you chose is also delicious. you agree, but you apologise for keeping him waiting. he asks you if things went well [at work] and you’re like “um...” and then he apologises for asking about things related to another team’s investigation. 

soma: “excuse me. i shouldn’t say anything about the contents of another team’s investigation.”

you think that you can’t talk about it even to soma, even though you got no results today. 

“but [seeing you] in that state...”

“no, it’s nothing.”

you think that just now, he definitely saw through you [that you got no results]. “is that so...” you say, and soma just continues to eat while smiling as if nothing happened. you’re glad he left it there today. usually he’ll push you a little more or tease you. soma-san is good at listening to team tsugaru’s movements/happenings.

soma: “if you [eat] too slowly, it’ll be too late to take a bath”

i had to include a screenshot here bc it’s my policy whenever soma talks about baths. i bet he’s gonna ask to go in together too lmao. 

you realise that’s why he didn’t ask you about this and that. you apologise that things are rushed just because you were late. 

soma: “ahh, sorry... i don’t mean to blame you”

you say that ah no, you don’t feel like he was blaming/criticising you! and he says “that’s good then”. 

soma: “it’s getting late, so it’ll be quicker if we go in together”

I KNEW IT I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THIS!!!!! i’m ALSKJFSLDSDS?!!!!J LKSJFLDK!??!???! fLSKDJLKJF!!!!! 

“soma-san grins flirtily while swirling his glass of white wine”

soma: “i got new bath salts, shall we enjoy it together?”

YESYE SLYEEYESYEYYEYESY

“could it be... i was skillfully manipulated!?”**

**it says “guided”, basically meaning he like led her into this. remember when i said mc’s entire relationship with soma was one big trap? this is what i mean lol!!

--

anyway, that’s the end of chapter 4! i can’t believe how quickly it went by (maybe my language skills are getting just a little better lol... or maybe i just don’t have to spend ages trying to figure out what parts of whose body are being touched in what manner in these everyday scenes lmao). i can’t BELIEVE WE GET SOMA WANTING TO BATHE TOGETHER AGAIN. i mean i can believe he because he wants to do it constantly but i’m like giddy with excitement seeing it again lmao. i love seeing overly legalistic hlitf mc as well (the fact that she was late but still nagged momose to not start the car so abruptly... sis........) and also how cute that soma made paella and waited for her a;lsjfdlsk supportive boyfriends are the best. 

i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you’re as excited as i am for the next chapter and hopefully the inevitable bathing together scene...   

i’m sure i could probably draw more traffic by updating that scandalous kazuomi story but i am selfish and i want to finish this story first bc i just can’t get enough of soma.

i’ve also set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

[mieczyhale]

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

so

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do. 

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NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone) 

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise)  my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough. 

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol) 

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so. 

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

SO

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie) 

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

[kuroowo]

spray on deodorant is bad for the environment and its painful to use so why does it exist I dont understand AND U FOLLOWRD MR ENDKFJN DOES THIS MEAN WE R MOOTS I DONT JSDKDAAAAA

omg ur an og haikyuu fan that's so cool I only got into it march 2020, so quarantine style 😭😭 in fact I properly got into anime only last year and now I call my dog a sussy baka 💀💀💀 like I know its cringe but its so hard to stop cjnksjdcnksjc so you've been writing for ages then, that's awesome!! I actually read the manga after I finished season 4 because I needed new content sskskssks and I already loved osamu so much after season 4 but the time skip cemented it 😹😹 and im so happy u write for him because ur writing is so lovely and your characterisation of him is 😻😻😻

so I was and still am on haikyuu tiktok (the good funny chaotic tiktok side of the haikyuu fandom I mean 💀) basically cursed meme anime tiktok is the best, and in one of the comments sections someone was like download Tumblr because there are so many good headcanons and pics for haikyuu on there. I didn't download Tumblr at first, I just went on safari and made sure it was actually good first 💀💀 and then I made just a blank blog just to read stuff, like I didn't even follow anyone. the first account I followed was ains' actually because it was just top tier and then I came across YOU LOVELY PERSON from her blog. I only really started properly interacting with people like a few months ago?? because, although there's loads of toxicity on here and people I don't vibe with, there are ppl like ains and u who are really sweet and wholesome and who I wanna be friends withhhhhh

omg this was so long im so sorry 💀💀💀

Anyone who uses spray on deodorant... let us know LMAO & YES IT IS 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🤲🏼🤲🏼🤲🏼💘💘💘 HELLO FRIEND 👀💕 AND DONT APOLOGISE!! I don’t mind reading anything u wanna tell me💘

NOT THE SUSSY BAKA DJOWMSKXKWKSKKSKSKSKSKSK omg but I get it tho, I used to say y’all ironically and now it’s in my daily vocab bc I couldn’t stop 💀💀💀 and omg what kinda dog do u have? 👀 AAAAA the manga timeskip Samu really made me into such a mega Samu stan omg 😩 so I SO get wym when u say the time skip cemented it 😩💘 and PLSJCOWKSKXISK u making me BLUSH rn I’m actually gonna screenshot that and frame it up 😭 thank u for liking how I write him🧎🏻‍♀️💘 sometimes I feel so off about how I write him but then like uGH soft Samu is just so 😩😩💗💗💗💗 LMAO

I KNOW WYMKSJXOQKSK before I downloaded tumblr I was reading on Google to check it out beforehand 😂😂😂😂 and yo omg Ains is such a chaotic sweetheart and her fics are just 😩😩💕💕 like I’m so glad I met her, I actually FR think we’re soulmates bc the similarities are UNCANNY LMAOOOO and yk... our dms are open if u ever wanna take the next step 👀 but I gotta warn ya... we’re louder and more gossipy and more off the walls when u get to know us LOL