#the way is to be angry with real people in real life
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Alright round two!! Kyle playing darts and doing absolute ass, to humor the pretty little bird. And asking if he makes the next one he would buy you a drink, next thing you know he's planted the next three darts bang on. "Guess we got some drinks to grab, ey dove?"
(Not quite what you asked for, but once the concept was in my brain, I was stuck on it. Sorry!)
-
“Can I tell you something?” Kyle says, leaning both elbows on the table. Your drinks sit between you, sweating from being ignored while the two of you were lost in conversation.
You lean in to match him. “A secret, I hope.”
“A terrible one,” he says with a sly grin, adjusting the ball cap on his head. He bites at his lip, a gesture you weren’t sure people even made in real life. It only emphasizes how soft his mouth looks, so kissable. The nearly hour-long game of darts the two of you had played before you finally won would be worth it if you managed to get that kiss before the end of the night. “I threw that game of darts. I just really wanted to buy you a drink.”
Your mouth twitches. You fiddle with the rim of your glass, fingertips drawing shapes in condensation as you carefully ask, “You want to know my secret?”
His face drops. “No. No actually, I think I can see where—“
“I was trying to throw that darts game so you wouldn’t get angry and kill me.”
“I—“ he blinks. “Are you serious right now?”
“Some guys don’t like losing to a woman,” you say defensively. You flick water at him off your fingertips. “No wonder the game took so long. I thought you were just really bad at darts.”
“I’m really good at darts,” he confides lowly. Your foreheads are a handful of inches apart. “I also don’t kill women.”
“I’m really good at darts,” you whisper slyly.
“Notice you didn’t say anything about killing men.”
“Scared, Kyle?”
His chair screeches against the hardwood as he pushes back from the table, eyes already scanning for a free dartboard. “Only one way to settle this. Loser buys the next round?”
“Can you afford it?” you ask benignly.
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Hey Boo,
I've been seeing Joelkemons making the rounds being the best kind of dude to have around when you're crying.
Is Stepdad is having very strong feelings about all of this too? I imagine of Raider (LOML) and NW are being so soft with us, something in stepdad might respond to our hopelessly impotent rage.
I'd love to see how he reacts.
Boy howdy, tho, if I could slip into the brothel and have a big ol' Joel-pile, that shit would fix me all the way.
Thank you so much for everything you do and are.
I hope you're taking care of yourself too.
-- Cupquake <3
black tuesday
JOEL x f!READER | 1000 words
WARNINGS: 18+. Election Night. ANGST. Tears. Fears. This is intended to be a cathartic fic with some comfort but please don't read if it could be traumatic. Allusions to reproductive rights, etc. Reader is angry, esp. at men, takes it out on joel a little. Joel is supportive. Reader dacryphilia, brief smut. STEPDAD AU but you don't need to know it, and the stepcest doesn't come up.
NOTES: Sweet Cupquake, you're welcome and thank you for always being so supportive. Poor stepdad, he's normally the one needing comforting, isn't he? Yes, he has strong feelings about all this. This doesn't fit neatly in the AU timeline just roll with it. My brief post on the election is here. This will most likely be my only fic that overtly acknowledges the u.s. election. DO NOT INTERACT: TRUMP VOTERS, ANTI-CHOICE PEOPLE, MINORS.
You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment watching the news while Joel makes dinner and a huge mess in the kitchen. When the early votes are counted, we’ll see a lot more blue, they said. No, actually. Not really. You turn the volume way down so you can barely hear it.
“Pasta’s ready,” Joel announces in a weak, sing-song voice.
You remain on the floor. Your breathing is shallow, and it doesn’t feel real.
Joel comes into the living room but doesn’t sit down. He stands with his arms crossed. His neck veins are bulging, his biceps are tense, his jaw clenches as he watches the screen. He’s pissed, he’s so angry watching this happen. He’s embarrassed to be a Texan. He thinks about all the women he knows. Embarrassed to be a man.
He looks back and forth between the tv and you, and he sees your eyes are watery. He brings your glass of water from the kitchen, but you refuse it. He puts it down on the coffee table. Then, he picks up the remote control and turns off the tv.
“Why’d you do that?” you snap.
“It’s only makin’ ya sad,” Joel replies. “It’s still early, there’s time.”
“Sad?? You think I’m sad?” Heat rises to your face. Your chest tightens.
“Okay,” Joel acknowledges softly. “I can see you’re not just sad.”
He sits down and tries to put his arm around you but you scoot over to face him.
“All you men just go around blowing your loads everywhere and we’re the ones who have to deal with it, and you have the nerve to tell us how.”
“I’d never tell you how to--you know that.”
“--I am so fucking tired of men talking.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles, and sits quietly next to you for a minute. It’s hard knowing there’s nothing he can do or say, but he’s not going to leave you unless you tell him to.
He clears his throat and asks softly, “Would anything make ya feel better?”
“Only waking up from this nightmare.”
“Yeah,” he acknowledges.
“I don’t wanna feel better,” you begin to cry. “I want it to not happen….Like, is this real life?”
None of it feels real. Months ago, people in stupid red hats were carrying around actual sperm cups. The highest-profile rapist in the country called himself the father of fertility, and crowds of people cheered. He said “mass deportation” and people cheered more. And then half the country voted for these sick, twisted buffoons.
“You want some space?” Joel asks.
“No,” you protest tearfully.
He hesitantly brushes the back of your neck with his thumb. This time, you let him put his arm around you.
You whisper, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Sweetheart, it ain’t over. We got time.”
You shake your head no, ‘cause you can feel it in your gut.
Joel sits in silence for a moment, and you can’t see it, but he’s tearing up because he can feel you burning and he’s powerless.
He holds you and strokes your back while you bury your face in his chest. He discreetly checks his new york times app and tries not to react out loud- it’s only getting worse.
After a few minutes of silence, he whispers your name, and you respond, “mm?”
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out.
You look up to see his cheeks wet, his hair messy. Your heart swells with affection. Affection and… gratitude? God, the bar is in hell. But to be fair, you really love him. You’re grateful for the man he is, not the one he isn’t.
Desire begins to stir in your chest.
Joel presses a kiss onto your forehead, then lifts your chin, and you look at each other. He brushes away a tear from your cheek. With his own cheeks still wet, he swallows, and the emotional bob of his Adam’s apple sends a rush of arousal to your core. You put your hand on the back of his neck and pull him toward you for a kiss.
Affection and relief floods your body. It’s temporary, of course, but you let yourself have this. You let the nightmare fade into a spicy dream.
You straddle him and he pulls you close and moans into your mouth. You kiss him desperately and feel him harden under you. He hesitates and mutters, “sorry,” trying to read the room. He pushes your thighs back, trying to put some distance between you and his hard-on.
“Stop,” you reply, then latch onto his mouth again. He breaks away and says, “Just don’t want ya to feel like I–”
“Shut up,” you tell him, then scoot yourself closer, your crotch firmly planted on the warm, stiffening shape in his sweatpants. You grind your hips into him. He kisses you back with increased fervor, and moans into your mouth. Kissing passionately, your loins throb warmly together and your hips move in rhythm.
You reach between the two of you and slide your hand down his sweatpants. You palm his leaking manhood. Pressing it against his tummy, you gently move the skin on his shaft, and He groans.
“Fuck,” he breathes, and thrusts against your hand.
You stand up to urgently take off your pj pants.
His man-guilt is still eating at him. Squeezing his aching hard shaft, he lets out a moan, then weakly offers, “Are you sure you wanna…”
In response, you straddle him, hot and dripping against his bare arousal. You slide against him, throbbing and ready. Then, as you slide his tip to your entrance, you warn him, “Get it while it’s on the table.” You sink down on him and he shudders. Then he thrusts upward and moans as he bottoms out.
“My legs’ll be closed for business soon,” you explain.
He closes his eyes and breathes deep as your body accommodates his. “Fair enough,” he answers thoughtfully, then opens his eyes. “Wait. Even if my face is the customer?”
------
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NOTES: I actually wrote three Stepdad things, and chronologically, this is no. 2 of 3. The others aren't posted yet. The first one is a standalone pregnancy scare, nothing about the election (would've been before it). And the second one is a post-election talk about contraception.
My brief post on the election is here.
Thank you for reading. Please remember to take care of yourselves <33
#stepdad!joel#joel miller angst#joel miller smut#election angst#cw stepcest#cw trump#cw politics#cw anxiety#cw election#toxicanonymity ☠️
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neighbours w/ eddie brock & venom rules | m.list
note. yes i saw the last Venom movie and no i'm not okay, but let's act like everything's fine okay? <3 feel free to request!
You had been living in the apartment for a while now, and as you weren’t really the type to sympathise with people, you had no idea who your own neighbours were. Until one of them became way too loud for you to ignore.
It wasn’t like you were doing a really difficult job, even if it was still debatable. Being a writer was making you stay up all night long to keep writing your book with the hope of finally being able to finish it and, one day, find an editor. But the guy living next to you? He was making things impossible for you.
You had decided to let it pass, hoping that it would simply stop by itself ; but it didn’t. Actually, you could swear it had become worse by the time. So one night, you decided that it was already more than enough, and you left your place to come knock at his door.
You heard sounds of stuff breaking, a guy talking by himself, until he finally opened the door. He was all alone, and he seemed to be anything but okay. The guy was sweating in his grey hoodie, and he looked completely exhausted. You frowned slightly when he offered you an awkward smile.
“Hi, I’m sorry about the noise.” He started, and you could only sighed at his words. How could you be angry at a poor guy who seemed to be just as in a bad state as you right now? You slowly shook your hand. “It’s fine, just try to be careful. I’m not sleeping much, but it’s hard to focus with all the noise you’re making.”
You met his gaze when you heard him murmuring something. What was his problem? You were trying to be nice, there was no way he was really speaking under his breath. “Excuse me?” You asked with an eyebrow raised, and the guy quickly looked back at you. “No, nothing! Sorry again.” And with that, the conversation was over.
After the ‘incident’, it was always like fate wanted you to meet your neighbour more often than it was the case before. In the elevator, when you were going out of your apartment to put the trash out ; anything. By the time, you learnt that your neighbour’s name was Eddie, and that he was a journalist. Both of you weren’t doing the same job, but you had the same troubles so it felt easy to talk with him, even though Eddie was a bit… strange.
It was almost like he was never fully comfortable, something being awkward with him all the time. You might have sounded crazy, but you could swear it was like he was never alone in his own mind. Eddie was the type to talk to himself, in a whisper or louder than expected sometimes. You learnt to deal with it, but you couldn’t get out of your head this silly idea that Eddie was hiding something from you.
One night, after some friends almost forced you to go out with them at the bar, you were walking alone in the street to go back to your apartment. You weren’t even tipsy, as drinking wasn’t much your thing, so you were sure that the noises you heard behind you were more than real. You tried to walk faster, but it was obviously not enough. Soon, your wrist was held by a complete stranger trying to get you to come with him.
You didn’t have much time to fight him back, because he flew away suddenly. You opened your eyes wide, following his figure crashing in the wall, not understanding what had just happened before your eyes. It didn’t make much more sense when you looked back at where he was before and saw a large dark figure standing in front of you.
Large white eyes, and even larger teeth going out of a stupidly wide mouth ; you were sure you were about to die here and now. The monster tilted his head to the side, examining your figure before it kind of smiled, making it even creepier than before. “The little human shouldn’t walk alone so late.” His voice was deep, deeper than anything you ever heard in your life before.
“We’ll walk you back,” it said, and you weren’t sure if you really had the choice to refuse the offer. At least, he didn’t want to eat you alive, it was a good start. “Eddie says you’re nice, and we agree with him.”
Wait… Eddie? You looked back at the creature with a frown, and you could swear you heard someone yell at the monster under all of those muscles. “Eddie says we can’t tell you he’s here, but he’s hidden,” said the black monster. The more he spoke, and the less you understood what was going on. Until it revealed you the truth hidden for so long.
The dark figure disappeared, only to leave you in front of your neighbour, Eddie Brock, a black head with sort of tentacles going out of his shoulder. You blinked a few times, completely at loss of words. Eddie had this awkward smile on his lips, trying to find the right words. The silence felt like an eternity, so many thoughts flooding in your mind.
“That’s Venom. You weren’t supposed to meet him, or to know he was… well, me? Kinda.” You frowned, your eyes now locked on Eddie’s face who wasn’t helping you at all to understand everything. “Venom? You have an alien inside of you?” You almost snapped at him, the confusion too strong to think straight. “
“A symbiote, but yeah, technically an alien,” he said, and a sigh escaped your lips. You had so many questions ; and now that you knew, you weren’t going to give Eddie the choice to explain everything or not. You needed to know what was really happening, and how it was even possible.
This is how you ended up staying almost the whole night at Eddie’s place, with him and the symbiote explaining to you the situation. You quickly understood that it wasn’t a simple possession ; Eddie was a host and they both had this kind of situationship a bit weird that was going on. Venom was way less terrifying now that you saw him bickering with your neighbour. You could almost think he was fun, but it was too early for this.
But after this, you started to spend even more time with your neighbour. Him and his symbiote, of course. Sometimes, when they were fighting too much, Venom would leave his host to come hide with you for some time. Not too long, because hurting you was the last thing he wanted, but enough to run away from Eddie. The man was never too worried, because he knew exactly where his stupid symbiote was.
It was a weird dynamic between the three of you, but it was something which was working pretty well. You were spending hours and hours at Eddie’s place to write while he was working on his articles, and Venom would alway complain about how boring it was to have you both working at the same time while he had nothing to do. The symbiote was an attention seeker, you learnt that quickly.
And when things began to evolve between you and Eddie, you knew Venom would always be implicated too. You didn’t expect to be in a relationship so soon, but even less in a polyamorous thing with a man and an alien. But nothing could go wrong, right? There was absolutely no reason to be worried, or at least it was what you were trying to say to yourself.
But you were right. It was, actually, even better than what you had imagined. Eddie was the sweetest man you ever met, always taking care of everything for you and making sure you were doing good. It was probably the most safe and sane relationship you ever had, and it was strange to say that. Because Venom was the same, in his way.
He was a bit clumsy, most of the time, but he was always trying his best. You never felt uncomfortable, even if he could be pretty bold or franc sometimes. It was part of his charm, you had to say. When he started to share his chocolate with you, you knew he was doing the biggest step to someone in his whole life.
After all, it wasn’t so bad to be living in this shitty apartment.
thank you for reading!
#eddie brock#eddie brock x reader#venom#venom symbiote#venom x reader#venom movie#venom headcanons#venom x eddie
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i think it's interesting to say that we don't see dean vulnerable often because, especially in the early seasons but continuing to the end of the show, i feel like we see him vulnerable all the time-- we're granted the gift of being the camera all those times he's close to tears, a stand-out example being in what is and what should never be when we see him on his knees crying over fake!john's grave, but there are many many other examples of him being very vulnerable/cracked-open to the audience that i feel people do a real disservice to by forgetting.
right off the bat we see him vulnerable in the pilot when he talks about pursuing john and sam reminds him he's going back to school:
where he has to take a second and remind himself that he doesn't get sam back, because sam has a life, and dean collects himself but won't even look at sam beyond a derisive glance when he says "i'll take you home."
what is this moment if not planting the seeds for when dean later says, in shadow, that what he really wants is sam with him and his family back together?
SAM: I mean, what are you gonna do when it’s all over? DEAN: It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be somethin’ to hunt. SAM: But there’s got to be somethin’ that you want for yourself— DEAN: Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam. SAM: Dude, what’s your problem? DEAN: Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place? SAM: ‘Cause Dad was in trouble. ‘Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom. DEAN: Yes, that, but it’s more than that, man. You and me and Dad—I mean, I want us… I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again. SAM: Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before. DEAN: (sadly) Could be. SAM: I don’t want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way.
and what is THIS moment if not dean being vulnerable? when he's reminded that the "something he wants for himself" is completely impossible because sam doesn't want it and dad left without a word by choice?
my best guess is that people don't read these moments as dean being vulnerable because he's turned away from sam-- in the pilot, he looks out the window and purses his lips and takes sam back to school. in shadow, he physically turns away from sam and grabs at the dresser and his expression shuts down when sam says no.
that doesn't mean that dean is necessarily angry or feeling possessive over sam, it's because dean can't show his vulnerability to sam (at this point in the show), because he has to be strong and he has to keep a lid on his problems or people die. deep down dean feels like wanting anything for himself is selfish and impossible. going back to what is and what should never be, that is the thesis of the entire episode: dean gets his deepest wish, and hundreds of people die. and he is broken over it.
DEAN All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They're all dead. (...) It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but… "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? (pause) It's… (Dean's lips tremble. Silence. We hear the sky rumbling. Tears begin to falls on DEAN's cheek.) Yeah…
but where my sam-as-POV theory about why people keep saying dean isn't vulnerable dies is that we see these moments, so how do other people interpret them? is it just a case of not remembering? do some people think i'm totally off-base with this?
#spn20rewatch has gotten me all kinds of crazy again lol#i don't even know#goodnight#dean#meta#dean and responsibility
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Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) 2 🤨❤️🤔
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.
I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.
This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.
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The 1st House 🙋♂️
The 1H in synastry is a tricky one, because the first house itself is related to our individual identity. It is the house of self. So, when it comes to having a love planet here, things can get really murky. You'll often hear that it indicates instant attraction, but also only surface-level. While that is not entirely wrong, it would be a disservice to reduce it to just that. Yes, first house ties back to your physical appearance and external impact. But what does that mean for someone else being impacted and impacting that? Does it even apply in synastry? The answer is: YES. And it goes much deeper than you'd think. It will talk about an immediate recognition. It talks of being mesmerized by someone's look and demeanor, but that comes accompanied with an obsessive need to know more about you, to be around you, to soak up as much of you as possible, as if to aggressively learn you. And that's because you will tickle all the boxes the person had been holding inside (and vice-versa).
(e.g.: having someone's planet(s) fall into your 1st house doesn't just mean they will be attracted to you, if it's romantic. It also means the person feels like you two share a vibe, share interests, ideas. It means they feel like you move according to their speed, and therefore, that could lead to a lot of trust and comfort on their part, because you feel like a safe place. Not in the same sense as the 4H, but in a more "this person will have my back, cause we're the same!" kind of way. It makes the person feel like you are enough, because you fit them. So even if everyone else disagrees with them or doesn't understand them, they'll sort of look over at you, and if you validate them, that will be enough for them. They'd rather have your approval – since you are someone who gets them – than to have the approval of a bunch of people who don't understand where they are coming from.)
It truly is a beautiful thing, but even positive planets with positive aspects can lead to unwanted side-effects. The house person could come to resent the planet person because of how much they like them. Depending on who the house person is – if they have a dominant or prideful personality, for example – they may come to resent and even become angry with the planet person at times, because they'll feel so strongly for the planet person that they could start acting out of character for them, and that can make them feel like they're losing control of themselves. And as human beings, what do we do when we feel out of control? Shift blame and start looking for culprits. This DOES tend to wear off, though, exactly because of how intensely the house person feels for the planet person, but it can burn hot for a minute or two, specially if they end up getting into an ugly fight and the 1H person tries to forget the planet person, but they can't bring themselves to hate them. They'll get angry at the fact that no matter how hard they try to hate the person, they still feel enchanted by them.
(this could also create an unwanted feeling of "nobody else is like them", so the 1H could panic a bit at the thought of losing the planet person because 1H synastry creates the immediate feeling of the "perfect person for me", so imagine thinking you found the perfect person for you... it can make you feel like if you lose them you'll never recover, because no one else will be like them or able to replace them as perfectly)
All in all, though, first house Synastry tends to usually show up good results, depending on the planets and aspects involved. Another aspect of this synastry that doesn't get talked about for some reason is the fact that they tend to obsess over and notice the tiny details in each other. So it creates this effect of falling for them over and over and over again, cause they'll keep finding little things about the other person that they find enchanting, and THAT'S what creates the physical attraction. It's not that the planet or house person are conventionally attractive to everyone – they might not even fit the beauty standards –, but to the house person, those little details will sort of build up the planet person's beauty step by step, and by the time they catch on, they'll be enamored with every part of them, so, to the house person, the planet person truly is the most beautiful thing ever.
(1H house synastry also brings a 1st house energy to the attraction. NO - NOT ARIES. First house. But it will sound like arian qualities because Aries does rule the first house, after all. What this means is that a big part of the attraction for the 1H person is feeling like the planet person is independent, self-sufficient, confident, self-assured and capable. Because it's taping into their 1st house of self, the house person can sort of see the best of themselves reflected on the planet person, which means they feel like all the things they are insecure to show the world, the planet person has and is not afraid to show them. So they feel like planet person not only embodies their attraction ideal, but also the ideal personality they wish they had themselves. Which they do, but they don't realize it until planet person comes along and brings it out of them.)
First house Synastry is a complex kind of Synastry that is much more psychological than it's given credit for. People often focus on superficial physical attraction and gloss over the fact that it's like somebody is literally stepping into your mind and making your inner fantasies come out. It can feel very vulnerable and intense.
The 7th House 💍
Oh, isn't this one a gem?! Perhaps one of the most sought after in synastry. But the idea here is to provide an alternative perspective, so here goes: if it's badly aspected, or there's other challenging factors involved (the person falling into your 7H is problematic themselves), you're gonna run into the issues people often attribute to 1st house synastry, such as superficiality and a "false love" because 7H Synastry, regardless if it's good or bad, creates somebody who's "perfect on paper". They say the right things, they do the right things, they seem to fit into your whole ideals. But that does not guarantee that that's who they truly are. That's just who you think they are. Remember – the 7H is the house of "other". So it's not about you. It's about the other. But it's rather how you act around said other, and also how you perceive them.
(It's tough to say this, but you gotta be real to help some people out there who might have had 7H Synastry and didn't understand why the relationship failed, since everyone online claims it's a guaranteed soulmate. It's because Synastry goes both ways. And all houses have good and bad. There is no such thing as the perfect Synastry. But in the case of the 7H, I'd say it's the real life case of "if it's good, then it will be amazing. Truly a soulmate. But if it's bad... it will be awful. Just not immediately.)
Going off of the previous comment, another grim way this Synastry can turn out is in its binding effect. And I don't mean anything spiritual or abstract here. I mean literally binding. Imagine a relationship going sideways like that AND you are also now married or share a business together. MESS! This is the house of contracts and long-term. Remember Saturn exalts in Libra, because Libra likes things that last, and Saturn is the planet of long-term, so the house of Libra will sprinkle that lasting effect over whatever it touches. And if you're in a 7H relationship, that relationship will last with you, whether good or bad. It will take A WHILE to break off from it, either mentally, emotionally, psychologically, legally or financially.
(e.g. somebody has their moon in your 7H, but it's a moon at fall, in Scorpio, and it's afflicted in their natal chart. Now, at the beginning they will seem like a gift from God directly to you, so much so that you decide to make it official... And then, one or two years in, living together, each day it gets more toxic and draining and the dark sides just oozes out of your relationship. But now you are legally married, and divorcing will take time, bureaucracy, money and emotional energy, not to mention you'll have to uproot your entire life, explain it to your social circles and families... And what seemed like your dream come true was in fact a bitter lesson to learn).
To veer away from the dark twists of the last ones, let's dissect the correlations people make with the 7th house, like "oh, your spouse will be interested in art, and beauty, and music, and sophisticated things!" Why? Are you marrying a Libra? A Libra rising? Somebody with a Libra Venus? No? Then that has nothing to do with 7H Synastry. Houses are not signs, signs are not houses. Libra is one thing, the 7H is another. Venus rules Libra, which resides in the 7H, but Venus doesn't rule the 7H. It merely influences the 7H. It would be a better guess to say you might have met your person while they (or you) were already in a relationship than it is to say you met because of beauty-related things, or art, or music, since the 7H doesn't talk of any of those things, but it DOES talk of committed relationships.
(e.g. you might have met the person right after they (or you) got divorced. They might be connected to an ex of yours. Or another possibility that isn't talked about is how the person you eventually end up with is someone you have liked for a long time, but never got the chance to be with until now. Since this is the house of long-term relationships, having placements here could indicate that the person you ultimately stay with long-term is someone you already knew prior to getting together, but you needed to experience other relationships before you united with them.)
Another final aspect of placements in this house is the fact that it doesn't just deal with your love relationships, but also the way you consciously present yourself with others. How you behave socially. But also the mirror effect of this house, speaking directly about love. This is, after all, the house directly opposing the 1st house of self. In that regard, this is similar to 1H synastry, with the exception that in this one, instead of you coming out of your shell subconsciously, you make a conscious effort to become your best for your person here. You want to live up to all of your potential.
The 2nd House 💆♂️
This one is a bit tricky for me, because I'm not materialistic AT ALL. I have a Taurus Lilith in the 2nd house, so, I express it on the other end of the spectrum. When you have that placement, you either put too much value on money and material things, or you are completely unattached from it, and that's me. So the whole "money this, money that!" vibe is not my scene. I don't see a price in life, I see value. With that said, let's get this going.
Yes, this is the house of money and material things. Yes, it will deal with your personal finances. But no, unless other parts of your chart/Synastry agree with it, somebody's placements falling here should not have a lasting effect. It might merely indicate you overspending on dates and gifts. The 2H is the house of YOUR money, which means that the whole "oh, they're gonna shower you in gifts!", "And this is a sugar baby aspect!", "Your person will want to spend all their money on you and buy you expensive things!" is probably not gonna happen, sorry. If it does, it will be you spending your money.
(And if you do spend your money, the whole "gifts" thing is also not that common, because normal people don't just go around buying gifts for others every other day of the week, unless they have some sort of imbalance. Such a consumerist mindset! Not everything is about paying for things or buying things. That's a VERY American culture of dating, specially for women. This nasty idea that a man has to buy you or he's not good. Which is what encourages habits like thinking the man always has to be covering your finances (how old are you, 5? Get a job and pay for your own damn self! You are an adult woman), paying for your food, buying you a house, giving you gifts all the time and affording expensive dates. You are not a product. If your biggest incentive to be with a man is because of how much he pays for you, then that's the world's oldest profession, not a relationship of love. So this should play out more like them helping you manage your own finances. Don't go around thinking a 2H love placement is gonna turn you into Cinderella.)
If you do happen to be a stay-at-home person in your relationship, which is valid, as long as it's not all about money, 2H love placements and synastry will talk more about other material aspects of things. It will talk of stability, sustainability, longevity and security.
(e.g.: it could mean that you allocate your resources towards creating a safe, stable environment for your life together to flourish, such as buying things for your home together, revising your finances to make life goals and plans together more viable, setting budgets to achieve milestones together... as well as the literal physical aspects of valuables, so using your resources towards nourishment (food, shelter, clothing and health). Things that will ensure your relationship lasts and endures through hardships and tribulations. In the 2H of values, Synastry could indicate the relationship itself becoming your prized possession that you take care of. All the Earth houses are about caring for things, just in different ways.)
Another poorly explored aspect of the 2H is values in the moral, spiritual and emotional sense. It's WORTH. Both the causes you find worthy as well as your self-worth. A 2H love placement or Synastry can and will directly affect that. Even if you do happen to be dealing with financial/material things too, that can affect your self-worth directly.
(e.g.: say you are married to someone who is constantly in debt, or say your spouse is the breadwinner of the household and you depend on them financially. That can really take a toll on your self-worth. It can bring feelings of poor self-esteem, can you make you feel undervalued, inadequate, make you feel like a burden, or make you feel incapable of caring for yourself. It can strike your self-confidence and make you VALUE yourself less. Or the opposite. Your spouse may open you up to new possibilities of making money, which in turn gets you into a new passion project that you succeed in and that can make you feel like a worthy person, make you believe in yourself, make you feel important and valuable.)
I would argue that most often, it's the 8H Synastry that will really have your partner's materials affecting you, because the 2H is the house of your PERSONAL gains, while the 8H is the house of OTHERS' gains and possessions. Most often, the biggest impact I'd say 2H love placements have will be dealing with self-worth, self-confidence, shared values and morals, feelings of belonging and acceptance.
General Things ✨
What I see most often is that positive and negative outcomes tend to happen simultaneously. It's not all doom and gloom, but it's also not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not so great, and those ups and downs come and go. That's just life. Both are there to be worked with, worked for, or worked through. At the end of the day, astrology will not mandate your life events, and you have to always be learning from your life, and working on yourself and the things that matter to you. Astrology is just a guiding light to identify possible themes to be mindful of.
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That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far! I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.
My whole goal is to try to discuss astrology in as realistically as possible, but while making it clear that any possible outcome is plausible. If most times all you hear are fantastic stereotypical descriptions of placements, such as 7H, the not so great ways in which it can play out will be explored here to help people navigate them. If all you hear are bad things about a house, then I'll try to show the positive ways in which it can come out.
The whole point is to try to bring a wide range of notions to these descriptions, together with the information that is already out there and available by many other creators.
At the end of the day, remember this is all POSSIBILITIES. Your personal life has to be analysed to know what's gonna ensue. And don't be discouraged, because the truth is that positive and negative effects tend to happen together for your best.
Hope you have a good day when you find this!
MASTERLIST
#astro notes#astro observations#astrology observations#astrology#natal chart#astrology notes#synastry observations#synastry#zodiac#composite chart
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but you should write about levi's strength
!!! Bless you for letting me talk about Leviathan with reason.
Let me do it in a list format so it doesn't feel like I'm rambling.
-Let's get the facts everyone knows out of the way first -As we all know the order of the brothers are also a determination of their strength. So Levi being the third brother indicates he is the third strongest demon amongst them. -Although he is one of the physically weaker ones, which makes him being ranked third even more impressive. -Which , I still believe it is justified. -To start off with, he is the Admiral of the navy. You definitely need to have a considerably impressive strength if you want to be an admiral and have a whole army under you. -His love (and talent) for games also suggest high levels of focus and strategic skills which plays into him being a good admiral. -This also plays into him having political strength, as he is able to maintain that position and control while being an absolute homebody. -He is also able to summon Lotan, which in itself says a lot about his overall abilities. -I mean you probably got to be real strong to have an ancient sea serpent as a familiar/summon. -It is a canon fact that each demon can overpower the demon(s) below them, so even though he is physically weak, this implies that he can easily bring down his brothers save for Luci and Mammon. -He is also someone that the other brothers have mentioned avoiding winding up, vaguely mentioning how disastrous things can be if he loses control (this was brought up in one of their devilgram posts, I'm sorry idr which one anymore) -Also it is basically canon that the ranking is based off magical power so let's talk about that a little too. -When it comes to abilities via magical powers I think Levi's abilities are one of the most talked about. -It's mostly to do with water (a.k.a controlling a whole element) -He can summon giant floods, breathe underwater (or hold his breath for a scarily long time I've forgotten), and can even communicate with sea life. -Sailor man you really turn me on- -Lastly, and what I believe is a valid theory; their assigned sin/emotion is a huge source of their magic power -The first three, Pride (Lucifer), Greed (Mammon), Envy (Leviathan), are pretty consistent emotions. They're feelings that more or less stays with you. A prideful person is always prideful, a greedy person is always greedy, etc. -The rest of the brothers, their sins are more commonly a feeling that comes and goes. A person will become angry and calm again, a person will become sleepy and will stop once they've slept (yk what I'm trying to say, sorry I'm doing my best to word this in English) -Which is why, I think Lucifer, Mammon and Levi are the stronger demons. -Similarly it may also be based on how their sins affect the world but that's harder to judge/rank.
Bonus: -I do think Levi's insecurities play a big part in locking up his potential strength. -He's never really interested in talking about or showing off his strength (he's more proud of his gaming prowess) -Overall he may be the most peaceful demon amongst his brothers, which makes him come across as weaker than he truly is. -But we should know by now, peacefulness is not the absence of strength.
So yeah, obviously Levi is not the strongest. And I'm sure he has a lot of people telling him he doesn't deserve to be higher than his other brothers. But I beg to differ.
Leviathan deserves his position as the third brother. And y'all should be glad God didn't give him an ego bc if he did you'd all be screwed.
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me!#obey me leviathan#obey me nightbringer#leviathan best boy#leviathan
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i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)
i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-
and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)
by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)
its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )
i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that
what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode
#ganondoodles talks#personal#and then i play video game bc its easier than fighting my mind#and feel guilty like the worlds gonna crush me for wasting hundreds of hours on that#bc what could i have done in all that time instead (if my focus was there .. if i was able to keep up with my mind)#its probably either just whining#or ............... incredibly common among non neurotypicals#and here i am complaining#i just want to do so many things but CANT I CANT AND CANT BUT I WANT AND CANT ARGH
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That take for tf1 annoys me because the movie explicitly presents his descent. Yes it was rushed in some places but the run time required it and I’m hoping it’ll be fleshed out if we get a sequel.
For one D-16 was not a rebel from the beginning, that was Orion. D-16 was okay with the system and was a prime fanatic (which made sense given sentinels propaganda and stuff). But Orion was the one who believed they could be more, who wanted to prove to the transformers that they were wrong about cogless bots. The way some people talk about him in the movie you’d think he went to get the matrix just because he randomly wanted to and not because he wanted D-16 and him to prove themselves to sentinels as more than miners so they could live a better life and fix the energon shortage. I mean after he found out the truth D-16 literally blamed Orion for the entire thing because he broke protocol, which included saving jazz’s life. He was incredibly emotional in this scene which explains why he reacted like that but it still shows that he has the mindset of ‘if you don’t break the rules nothing bad will happen’; he didn’t want to challenge the established system.
D-16 wanted revenge which is fair given what sentinel did to him. It was a reasonable reaction but where it devolves is when the desire for revenge become more selfish and entwined with the strong over the weak mentality the high guard introduced which clouds his judgement later on.
He did not care about the consequences of killing sentinel in an extremely public and flashy execution and how that would impact iacon moving forward. His actions were fuelled by his desire for revenge. It gets to the point where this desire outweighs his care for others. He wants to kill sentinels supporters almost immediately after. He destroys any sentinel iconography and doesn’t care to get people out of the way first or that it was putting them at risk of death from the debris. His revenge was not sated and he just kept escalating.
He proclaims himself as a leader, taking megatronus’ cog and promising no one will be deceived again. This focus on deception throughout the movie is especially interesting because the way they frame it it’s almost as if he isn’t angry about the system itself he’s angry that it was built on lies. Sentinel killed the primes, mutilated D-16 and used his labour to pay off sentinel’s own debt. There’s no real mention on cogless mechs being treated like nothing or anything like that (correct me if I’m wrong I have a shit memory). He is not motivated by a desire to change the system but revenge for how the system he suffered in was built on lies and the betrayal that came from that. My friend described it as ‘megatron is fuelled by personal anger and Optimus by societal anger’. He was called Optimus because he was optimistic, he had hope things could be better for the cogless bots without burning everything including them to the ground. It’s shown through the symbolism too, Orion kneels at the miners’ height to talk to them but megatron towers over the high guard in his speech. Also as prev mentioned, he was continuing the cycle of violence. The way megatron gained power mirrored the way sentinel did and ofc the intentions and motivations were completely different but this was the way the movie was communicating this is not the way to do it.
Do I think that Orion was sympathising with sentinel for trying to stop megatron? No but I think he definitely could’ve handled it better, especially when he compared megatron to sentinel which was the WORST possible thing to say in that moment. I do think his desperation to stop D-16 was because he could see the consequences of killing sentinel like this, both on iacon and on D-16. Also one of Optimus’ flaws is that he wants to solve things non-violently or at least non-fatally when he really should sometimes, so it wasn’t completely selfless reasoning either. I was very happy when sentinel was finally killed but I could see why Orion wanted to stop D-16.
I’d say neither of them were completely in the right or wrong when it comes to sentinels death and the aftermath. Orion had much better intentions and awareness of the consequences, but his reasoning was at least a bit connected to his own ideology and he really could’ve communicated Why It Was Bad better. And megatron was the one in the wrong by the end through his actions and especially intentions. In tf1 he’s right in some places and wrong in most but this was an origin; an oppressed persons reaction to their worldview crumbling around them and realising that they were owed more. It’s why it impacted him harder than Orion because he already knew that much. D-16 was betrayed and lied to and had no idea what to do after that other than kill the person responsible. When he let go of orion he disregarded his connection to his past, the last person he could truly trust, letting his anger consume him past of the point of no return. D-16 was my favourite character in the movie but it’s important to recognise that he was not in the right. We know what he will do in the future; the atrocities he will commit, this is just introducing how he may have escalated to such extreme actions.
Pls let me know if I get anything wrong I typed this at like 3am lol and sorry OP for the long addition!
"Maturing is realising Megatron was right." Have you even watched a single second of Transformers.
#prev tags#transformers#in other continuities ofc this is different since they like to make#optimus a cop (why) and megatron the freedom fighter (which I like when done well#and doesn’t just descend into killing oppressors bad no matter what)#so this is tf1 specific I’m talking about#transformers one#tf one#optimus prime#megatron#orian pax#d-16#maccadam
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Hi, I need to get something of my chest if I may. If not, feel free to ignore this message. ❤️ I've been so livid and angry about some peoples rasist, sexist and dare I say queerphobic behaviour all because of a fucking FICTIONAL character!! It's been going on for months but this is really the tip of the iceberg, like fuck those hypocritical asslickers and lfj for instigating it, for everything they said. Wanting for Ryan to get deported? Like where to? Texas?? All of a sudden he's not white enough lmao. And everything else they are saying about him and Oliver and Angela Bassett??? I'm not saying lfj didn't get hate but lmao he knew for like two months that he was leaving... Them claiming he's a victim and that he was bullied of the show when he was only a guest star and sorry to say not that great of an actor... I have no sympathy for him and based on all the problematic shit he said, I'm glad we are rid of him and his minions. Good riddance I say, no one is going to miss them! And with the shitstorm they are causing, why would the show want lfj back or any show for that matter??? I wasn't around prior to S7, but I understand what Tim meant about the fandom being worse than ever. I've been in some fandoms where things were tense but nothing like this. Sorry for the rant, it's just so infuriating to see how they behave toward real life people over a bland fictional character. They can like who they want for whatever reason, but imo there here are tons of better gay characters out there and claiming he was some revolutionary representation or whatever tells me all I need to know about them. Sorry again for the rant idk who to talk to about this. Hope you have a nice day! ❤️🙏
Oh Nonny, it's clear you needed to get this off your chest. It's okay. I get it.
You only came in during season 7? You missed such a great period before that. I'm not saying everything was alway perfect and there definitely was fandom discourse. That's unavoidable. But it was discourse on another level. Nowhere near the level we reached over the last couple of months.
But as soon as the Tommies appeared things changed considerably. We were all harassed, accused of terrible things and called 'delusional' for shipping Buddie, a ship that had been around since season 2.
We went from a relative peaceful fandom to a toxic fandom in one single episode. I got called homophobic for not really vibing with Tommy two days after the episode had aired. It was the beginning of a long and very exhausting journey for all of us.
Tommy/Lou and his unhinged fans are the worst thing that has ever happened to the 911 fandom.
But what is done is done. We can't go back. We can only move forward from here. And the future seems so much brighter. No more Tommy and after the way Lou egged his fans on to attack the show and Oliver? Well, we won't ever see him back at ABC. 😏
So let it all out Nonny and then move on. We're in the thick of things right now, but it will all soon pass. As soon as the fandom moves on to the new episode, the Tommies will scatter and probably follow Lou to SWAT. Some hardcore Tommies will stick around, but if we all collectively ignore them, they'll eventually go away as well.
I hope you have a lovely day Nonny!
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I know I said I wouldn’t give anymore energy to BuckTommy, but I’m grieving.
I had a chance to see a woman who looked like me become President, and she fucking lost to a convicted felon.
I’m not just hurt, I’m devastated and heartbroken. It was just a reminder that black women could be 5x better than their opponent and still lose. It reminded me that I will never be good enough. Something I already struggle with.
I was so ready and looking forward to watching the new 911 episode for a crumb of happiness, and instead I got emotionally bitch slapped by the spoilers.
Why, Tim Minear, why? Was it funny to you? Did you get a good laugh at breaking up a happy queer people for no reason? What was it? You were too lazy to continue their storyline? Or were you obsessed with pulling a “gotcha” on the audience?
Please tell me why you thought biphobia was the best thing to write about the same week queer people desperately needed a happy escape?
I want to know the reason. Why? Why did you hurt us like this?
My entire life I have struggled with seeing good representation for all the marginalized communities I’m part of.
I’m angry, sad, depressed, and so many other things. At least I can understand that Kamala Harris lost due to misogynoir, but the reason for breaking up BuckTommy evades me.
What was the reason? Cheap drama trick? Do you seriously lack creativity that badly? You couldn’t have at least chosen a better reason for the breakup or sprinkled crumbs in so that it would make sense?
You chose to rehash something they already discussed prior to starting a relationship.
So why did you go that route? Do you get off on torturing the audience or something?
WHAT WAS THE FUCKING REASON YOU FUCKING MISERABLE STUPID ASS BASTARD?!
TELL ME WHY HURTING QUEER PEOPLE WAS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?!!
Why? So many things in life hurt, and you decided to add to it.
I don’t even know why this keeps happening to shows I become invested in. I can never happy an OTP with a happy ending. Why? Because real life doesn’t have happy endings for people like me.
All I can do now is move on and try to focus on other things. BuckTommy changed the way I viewed crafting fictional relationships, and you fucked it up over some cheap thrills.
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I think this is a lovely addition and I am so glad you feel that way. I hoped some people would! I knew not everybody would.
Under a cut to spare your dash, friends, some thoughts about villainy…
I don’t know that we differ in substance, though perhaps in style. I’d say that I agree with you… but it’s complicated.
Long Live Evil poses many questions about the nature of villainy, who is assigned villainy and who gets the sympathy and understanding. It’s about the experience of being assigned villainy, but also understanding the assignment.
Rae is absolutely going through something so awful. She is very understandably angry about it. Indeed, most of the main characters of Long Live Evil have been THROUGH it. That’s part of why they’re seen as villains - though this perception also exists on an axis of gender, class, race, sexuality, disability. These things affect how they’re perceived and how they’re treated and how they act, and there is almost no way to disentangle cause and effect.
‘Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.’ - Robert Anton Wilson
This world hurts people. And then it can be very harsh to hurt people. We’re blamed for our wounds.
I agree Rae is a more interesting protagonist to me. That’s why I picked her. But there are very, very popular protagonists in fiction I find absolutely dull as ditchwater. (Not saying I find Alice dull. I love Alice.) I’m still interested in why audiences like them, and as I would like to have many readers too, I think about why things are popular a lot. I learn rules… sometimes simply that I may break them.
You might think Rae’s plight would engender sympathy: and for some it does. For many it doesn’t. And I knew that would be the case. I’ve seen it happen in real life many times.
—Someone in my close circle of friends publicly made fun of me for my ‘terrible anger issues’ at a time I was literally too sick to walk and barely able to breathe. I know that person thinks she’s a good person who was good to me.
—this is a very common thing to happen to chronically ill people. Most of my mentees, especially my younger mentees, have been abandoned by many friends who would all confidently state that this is the patient’s fault for being a bad person.
—one woman I know had her ex accurately recount all her behaviour to his new girlfriend without adding the reason why she ceased intimacy, got irritable and didn’t help around the house.
Sick people are legitimately hard to be around sometimes, and they get blamed for being so because it’s easier to blame a person than a disease. Other people don’t want to be the villain, so they make you the villain.
And the making of a villain is an interesting thing to me.
Rae being sick and Rae being perceived as evil and embracing that perception are inextricable. As a society, we are not truly sympathetic to victims. I knew it would be this way, but I still found myself shocked by the way some readers responded to her - she’s so evil that bitch got Key killed, she’s not even evil enough so she’s something pathetic that can be dismissed, she’s cringe because she uses humour as a coping mechanism, everything is her fault, it’s disgusting how much this formerly emaciated by illness woman talks about her boobs. But then, did Katniss in the Hunger Games get as much sympathy for literally starving as Peeta did for having his feelings hurt? (Note: Peeta also had many legitimate problems and I really like both characters.) And then again, isn’t feeling any kind of way about a character a compliment?
This is one of the reasons Rae is a woman. Society is set up to dismiss women’s pain, and discourage empathy with them. (And yet at the same time, we can’t demand anybody likes any specific character, regardless of gender. We can only observe patterns.)
And listen, I am not equating being a gorgeous talented famous artist with being chronically ill, but there is a phenomenon my friend who’s a psychologist has observed, which is that audiences get tired of famous women after a certain number of years (seven at most) and begin to criticise their looks or say they’re annoying or problematic.
Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence, both relatively inoffensive women, just had to basically go away for a while, until audiences were ready to go ‘wait, is Anne Hathaway talented and beautiful?’ (Yes she has been the whole time.)
The only woman who I’ve seen not have to slink into oblivion for several years when the tide of public opinion turned is, actually, Taylor Swift - there’s a piece online called ‘Darling, Villain, Victor’ which covers this very well. I like Taylor’s songs because a lot of them are narratives. And it was interesting to me to see the way she engaged with the narrative - going ‘okay yes I eat men for breakfast but also they flee from me, I’m drowning in diamonds, I’m covered in snakes, I’m wearing the evil makeup but also the eyeliner is running down my face because I am HYSTERICAL’ - and people looked stupid for saying the thing she’d already said about herself, outsized. Someone who also does this is Dolly Parton. ‘Yes I am everything you say about me. Now what?’
I did find that inspiring. I did want to claim, for my vipers and myself, the beauty and freedom of that ‘Now what?’ Anger is how we survive. We will be blamed for anger and for survival. Okay. Now what?
Another inspiration is the Interview with the Vampire quote ‘evil is a point of view.’ Not one of the Time of Iron characters think of themselves as people who enjoy cruelty for cruelty’s sake. Sure, some glory in justified vengeance, but that’s okay, right…?
To be able to see yourself as the villain in someone else’s story is, in some ways, an act of radical empathy. It’s an early thing Key says that makes him fun to me - that he’s like oh yes, I am evil. He’s very clear-eyed about the fact that, say, many of the people at the glass blowers’ guild (relatively innocent pleasant individuals) were from their point of view flat out murdered by a homicidal maniac for no reason whatsoever. Still when he tells his story, Rae is sympathetic - and it is also the tale of an abused child and a pitilessly corrupt society.
Key isn’t human. And he’s not a sociopath. Key is a god. And actually, it’s considered morally acceptable for gods to raze cities or worlds for sinning, and even to kill their children. But if a god thought he was human and evil, then what? (Was Athena traumatised by her birth?)
Yet another inspiration for me is Congreve. ‘I love her with her faults. Nay, I love her for her faults.’ I did want the vipers to not just be misunderstood darlings but to commit crimes and have serious personality problems.
Does Rae deserve more sympathy than she gets? Sure. At the same time, I really wanted her to have hubris. I refer to Greek plays a lot - where the deus ex machina was invented, art designed for the audience to be rocked and purged by emotion - and it’s this classic failing, to be arrogant and think you can avoid destiny and get this outsize punishment for it. (And people haaate women to be arrogant, and I knew they would find that annoying about her.) Rae doesn’t want Key or Emer to be hurt, but they are both people of a lower class in her employ, whose lives she knows are only saved in the original narrative by another aristocratic woman - and she deliberately sets out to use them and that does put them in harm’s way. Emer is whipped. Key is whipped twice and killed. Rae is not corporally punished in the same way servants are. But then again, when death looms, what choice does she have? Is she the one ultimately responsible for hurting them? No. But does that mean she bears no responsibility at all, when she made a bargain with them? Do we get to hurt others just because we’re hurt? When is lashing out because of trauma okay, never or always? Well…
It’s tricky to discuss personality flaws, because some characters get more sympathy while others’ faults get magnified. I’ve seen Rae discussed as more privileged than Marius - Lord Marius Valerius, second-most powerful man in the kingdom, in possession of literal superpowers, and uh - very arrogant at times himself. (And I love Marius and he has many very legitimate problems!) They are both flawed people. Very few feel villainous to themselves. Very little of what the people we love do to others feels villainous to us. I will miss Octavian so much as an antagonist, because he was such a great one - never for a moment did he consider he was being anything but heroic, and I do think at bottom he was a very ordinary guy, with an absolutely normal capacity for empathy. Yet all that power and privilege and the empty assurance of others and fame ate him right up. He didn’t ever have to look through anyone else’s eyes, and see himself the villain.
But also, can you look at the abyss, and not be changed? Rae at the start of the story would not be capable of tossing a man off the battlements of a tower into a yawning ravine full of flame with a wild, mocking laugh. But she IS that person by the end - and some of us are with her! It’s a villain origin story, emphasis on origin.
So yes it’s wish fulfilment, and yes it’s about villainy, and about having different perceptions of villainy, and which sins and flaws are forgivable in which people... We all have different perceptions. I am posing the questions, but you may have a different answer than I - if either of us find any answers at all.
Still the questions are worth asking. I do believe that.
Truly, thank you for having sympathy with my viper queen.
I remember reading in one of your blog entries (years ago??) that in the new book you were writing, the main character's *sister* had cancer. Does that mean that Alice was originally the main character of Long Live Evil? Was she going to go into the book to save Rae, instead of Rae going in to save herself?
How extremely kind of you to remember!
No, that was actually a YA murder mystery that I wrote while ill, revised while recovering, and sent out into the world where it died on submission. (Which means we sent it out to about 12 editors and the editor either said no, or said yes and took it to acquisitions - a group of people at the publisher including sales and marketing - and acquisitions said no.)
One editor told me she really wanted and really tried to buy it. Another person who worked in publishing (and has since changed jobs, or I wouldn’t share this) said the response at her acquisitions was - if you like this writer, find the next her (implications about health and youth were made).
I was terrified my agent was going to ditch me too, but she said ‘We’ll sell that one day, for now let’s write the next thing.’
I remember another writer telling me she missed my work that wasn’t a tie-in, and I felt ashamed to tell her it wasn’t that I wasn’t writing other things - it was that I couldn’t publish them.
The tie-ins meanwhile were paying the bills (they still are tbh!) and I was and remain so grateful for them. But I also really loved writing them - especially my Sabrina tie-ins, you don’t forget the first, and it reminded me I want to write horror and poly one day - and how they got me to love and sympathise with so many fandoms.
I see the burnout of caregivers all around me, and I wanted to write the story of one. But maybe I also wanted to take a step back from cancer. I didn’t think I did, at the time. I had a whole lot of things I tried writing before Long Live Evil, and I think some of them were really good. One of my critique partners gave me a lipstick with the same name as someone in the murder mystery. There was a romance novel another critique partner said was her favourite thing I’d ever written. But none had someone with cancer at the heart of the story.
And even though Rae isn’t much like me, maybe I had to start there. You can’t make real magic using someone else’s liver. Maybe I had to wait to be brave enough to use my own liver.
I do get requests for advice on how to cope with rejection of your writing, and I always worried I didn’t have anything else to say, but I suppose my example says - if you can, (and I know it’s hard, you feel so terrible at writing and so useless) (and you love the work you’ve done so much and you don’t see a way forward to loving the next thing) (but still, if you possibly can) write the next thing.
Even if the first thing sells, you’ll want the next thing one day. Writing the next thing is more writing practise, so it’ll make you better. Write the next thing.
Ultimately I’m really glad Long Live Evil was my comeback book. I think it needed to be. It took the time it took.
But maybe it was a shade of that past book (where the heroine’s sister with cancer was six, so not much like any of the Time of Iron characters) that made me think of the YA version of this book, which I always had in my mind as something I was intentionally hewing away from - a more straightforward book, a book that might have sold better - in which shy reader Alice was the hero. She’s the one with the suggestive hero name - Alice through the looking glass - the heroine looks, and the more projectable-upon personality. She’d get called annoying less often (though still some, because she’s a girl), partly because she is (with love, Rae knows I’m right) a genuinely less annoying person. Much kinder, much sweeter, and much better at in-depth reading! Her sister being in trouble would’ve been a backstory, a catalyst point, and - you’re totally right - a great motivation for her to get the Flower. Saving a family member is a much more sympathetic and heroic motivation than saving yourself and one I do love (the Hunger Games, Labyrinth, Mahy’s the Changeover, and I write it a lot!). I think Snarky While Tragically Dying Rae would’ve been a pretty popular side character, too. I think it would’ve been a good book! Just not mine.
I love your question because I love thinking about POV, and all the decisions that are the building blocks of a story. To me, the Alice centric Time of Iron is a version that exists. As are several versions of the Lia centric Time of Iron. And versions centring other characters exist to me, too. (Eric, absolutely.)
Speaking of POV musing, I think Rahela the wicked stepsister featured more in the musical than the book. If the Time of Iron series ever became a TV show (and at this point in time I think I’d rather a movie because it wouldn’t… get cancelled…) and I got to write it (don’t know why I would…) I would start with the beginnings for three characters about to go on a journey to somewhere strange to them: Key in the Cauldron, Rae in the hospital, and Vasilisa in the icelands. There are so many possibilities! And I really wanted the sense that there were so many possibilities, too.
But I wanted the chronically ill one to be the centre of the story, and for it to be her villain origin story, and to ask a lot of questions (hence a lot of villains!) about who gets villainised and why. And I thought hers, to my mind, would be the most fun of all the possible stories.
So that’s the one I made. But Long Live Evil has a lot of origins. Thank you for remembering one of them! I don’t think I would’ve dared tell the story, if things hadn’t worked out for me (so far, fingers crossed).
And I also tell it to be clear my publisher was taking a RISK with me and Long Live Evil, and I really appreciate that, and I’m so happy it’s worked out for them (again so far, early days, fingers crossed, etc).
I hope some writers - whether in the process of submission, rejection or making the choices that are the building blocks of story - find this helpful, and some readers find it interesting.
Let this be one of the universes in which your story is told.
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One thing I hope doesn't happen in S3 is the real-life formation of a Christian-offshoot cult worshipping fictional White Savior Ted Lasso.
Because, buddy, we are very close.
#ted lasso#that's an article from a christian publication#that praises ted as this pristine supernaturally selfless hero#and compares nathan to a servant from a parable#whom ted saved and uplifted beyond all what nathan deserved#and also metaphorically prevented nathan's family from being sold into slavery?#please do not form a racist ted lasso cult#cut the white savior ted is flawless shit out#let the fictional man be flawed#and more importantly don't form a cult#i am serious#i live in a place with many cults and they are not a good time#for your safety please monitor where your moral and spiritual loyalty tilt#i know most of you are very angry at nathan#but this is not the way#the way is to be angry with real people in real life#and to deal with that#and to not create a cult around a majestic moustache man#just fucking watch the show don't base your morality around it#no cults!
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every time someone does “valyrian culture was more egalitarian than andal culture” discourse i point to the fact that jaehaerys invented the doctrine of exceptionalism and was an evil misogynistic menace to every woman he knew, how visenya was not the ruler of their house despite being older, and how the vale which is STEEPED in andal culture & chivalry & the seven regularly has their houses ruled by women in a way that almost no other region outside of dorne has ntm having the ONLY ruling lady of a paramount house INCLUDING VALYRIAN AND FIRST MEN HOUSES and also i start shrieking
#‘the incest isn’t inherently abusive’ i’m begging you to read a single goddamn thing about real life incest. just one.#like sorry u cannot make the argument that valyria was better than the andals when a valyrian house has never been ruled by a woman pre or#post dance and cregan’s sons clearly usurped their own nieces in a parallel to alys.#these people are all misogynistic evil freaks but just in slightly different ways.#the ONLY and i mean O N L Y and i say this as a first men apologist here culture that has even *marginal* respect for women is DORNISH#which is IN FACT a mix of both rhoynish and A N D A L culture. they LITERALLY worship the seven in most of dorne. be serious here.#this is not me discoursing i’m not actually angry the way i am about the butch femme nyra discourse aksjdjd#i find it hilarious avtually that people say the dance is about valyrian women losing power & assimilating into andal culture.#buddy they didn’t have power before the dance either! and the dance doesn’t just fuck over valyrian women it fucks over LITERALLY ALL WOMEN#EVERY SINGLE WOMAN SUFFERS MORE BECAUSE OF THE DANCE. THAT INCLUDES ANDAL AND FIRST MEN DESCENT.#getting on my soap box#gender politics in asoiaf
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Like obviously the whole "they're just doing [x] for attention!" is completely asinine because humans are social creatures who need attention to some capacity, but also... in your narrative, does everybody do things specifically for your attention? When somebody does something drastic or shocking, is it not because they're desperate for help but just because they crave your attention specifically? Does the sun rise and set at your command as well?
#mental health#i get why people say that but it does come across like you're taking somebody's real struggles and almost whining about how...#...they're trying to steal your attention and cheat their way into your heart#and that the act of wanting attention would be a heinous act that you must insert yourself in to fix#like i see this behaviour as genuinely selfish most of the time - taking somebody's cries for help and making it about you essentially#i was listening to my dad tell a story about how somebody's *daughter* had made an attempt and everybody was talking about how...#...she had done it for attention. how fucking cruel. how fucking selfish...#...i couldn't imagine hearing people be that impertinent over my *daughter's* life#honestly that boils my blood as an *outsider* and i truly hope the family is healing#suicide tw#self harm tw#sh tw#(just for implication in the post)#ask to tag (genuine)#just hate the culture of '[they're] doing it for attention lulz' that is still popularized#which is part of the reason the tone is snappy/snarky. i think i've earned the right to be angry at how people interact with...#...this stuff and how it's doing nothing good for anybody
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I forgot this was a draft I wrote at like 4am when I was trying to sleep but got possessed by this thought. Not even gonna fix up the writing, I'm just gonna post this as-is kdhgksdh Radar once attended one of the New Order's meetings and eventually, somehow, he brought up the shipping stuff on the internet. This shifted into a rabbit hole of how - much like irl - people have made fanart and fanfics and had shipping wars over them. The entire room slowly went more and more ballistic as they heard about the shit people say abt them.
I refuse to believe this didn't happen. It's canon to me for reasons that are 95% for the sillies.
#i feel like petra and axel would especially go feral over it#not in an angry way but in a 'oh my god this is the funniest thing all week' way#lukas would probs be intrigued by fanfics#want to see how well people write and all#but then he'd stumble across something real bad and be scarred for life shgksdg#I feel like olivia would be the most bugged by it tbh#jesse would probably know and they have simply accepted their fate#nonbinary / genderfluid jesse btw :D#smeowchi#mcsm#minecraft story mode#minecraft#mcsm lukas#writing stuff ig#mcsm jesse#petra mcsm#mcsm petra#mcsm radar#radar mcsm#axel mcsm#olivia mcsm
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not going to give the blog any attention or time of day but this is your reminder that the leverage crew would never be zionists or support israel whatsoever
I wasn't going to engage with it because I value my mental health but yeah. absolutely fucking NOT
y'all really think that this group of people that actively go out of their way to go against the rich and powerful, who make it their goal to help people that are oppressed, devalued by society and taken advantage by those more powerful would at all EVER align themselves with israel? bffrrn
I'm going to go off for a few paragraphs about why this is such a horrendously ridiculous and delusional idea, but I'm not going to clog up your dash so it's going under the cut. I want to respect people who already participate in activism and need fandom space for lighter things
tw for discussion of the atrocities and war crimes happening in palestine
over 25 THOUSAND innocent people have died as a result of israeli terror the last few months alone. over 10 thousand children. entire family lines have been erased from the world forever- grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren all martyred, often together as they are sheltering from bombs and bullets until they are murdered by soldiers that laugh as they shoot and detonate bombs.
you really think that eliot 'I adopt every child I see' spencer would support a regime that let a child stay trapped in a car where her family members were martyred, not let paramedics in for days and then when they finally let the paramedics approach they kill both her AND the EMS? you think he would stand with the government that arrests children as young as 6 years old for *checks hand* being terrorists (because what fucking 6 year old is a terrorist let alone any kind of national threat. they're fucking SIX). that snipes children for throwing rocks at tanks and their apartheid walls
he and all of them would weep at the picture released the other day of the little girl handing from rubble with her legs blown off.
all of them would be horrified of the bombardment that has murdered tens of thousands of innocent civilians, women, children, men, elderly alike with no fucking care. that shoots people with their hands up waving white flags. that bulldozes graveyards and digs up bodies and probably steals organs from they dying and deceased. that bombs hospitals, governmental and archival buildings, mosques, churches, holy sites, schools and universities. whose soldiers have a trend where they go through women's underwear drawers and make lewd comments about their lingerie and how kinky they must be. who make tiktoks of them playing in decimated playgrounds and signing their children's names on bombs. who force parents to collect pieces of their children in plastic bags because they have been blown apart by relentless bombing. who shoot a grandmother holding a child's hand. who murdered a woman that dared say that she was older than the 'state' of israel.
the fact that you're posting this as israel relentlessly bombs rafa, the place they were told would be the only safe place to be, where 1.6 million people are living in tents living off animal feed because no sufficient humanitarian aid (if any) has been let through
these people that advocate for comeuppance and exposing wrongs would not support a regime that actively targets and murders journalists and their entire families.
you really think any of them would actively support a genocidal sociopathic government? fucking delusional
to a certain extent, I know that people want to keep fandom and advocacy spaces separate and I acknowledge and relate to that- when we are logged on every moment of the day we sometimes need to take breaks and engage with something else for our mental health. I need that too. and there is a very thin line when you try to apply fandom to current events because in all honesty, making headcanons about how your faves would react to X horrendous event can come off as extremely tone-deaf. I get you love your blorbos (I do too!), but actual people are suffering and it can come off as disingenuous to a lot of folks when you try to talk about your characters instead of the very real harm that is going on. HOWEVER, the other account posted in the leverage tag that the crew would be zionists and started that discourse and since it was already out there in our space I wanted to make sure that people know that this blog does not support that whatsoever.
and before this gets misconstrued: antizionism is not antisemitism. I have a lot of love for my jewish friends and followers, but saying that we can't be critical of war crimes and incessant aggression because it is a jewish state is fucking ridiculous. we should be able to hold any and all governments accountable when they do bad things (this absolutely also means I think we should hold the US accountable for enabling them and I live here. every country that is complicit needs to face consequences). saying that israel is exempt from criticism because jewish people deserve a right to a homeland isn't a great take. I completely understand fear of antisemitism and discrimination, but at some point we have to think critically and acknowledge that people are dying by the thousands and standing up for that and calling out atrocities takes precedence. jewish voices for peace has some really good content about this topic
anyways there's a random blog out there posting about how your faves are zionists splattering their rancid sponge and I want to make sure my stance on this subject is very clear: fuck israel, free palestine, and no one is free until everyone is free
#i got really fucking angry and this was kind of cathartic but honestly i'm just really fucking tired of this shit#thank u digitaldiscipline for talking me out of reblogging it with a response because that would just give the blog more undeserved attenti#free palestine#palestine#gaza#anti zionisim#fuck israel#fuck isntreal#leverage#leverage redemption#your fave is NOT a zionist#tw war crimes#also raf 'splattering their rancid sponge' is such an iconic phrase thank u for sharing that w me#I'm not going to talk about my real-life activism for privacy and security reasons but I regularly interact with people from jvp#and they are super awesome and lovely and courageous people#i really respect them. they are treated so awful in my area when we have protests at city hall from local rabbis. it takes a LOT of courage#ALSO there is a lot to be said about eliot as a character and how he isn't the best person but for the sake of him loving children i wrote#it that way. also hardison would be disappointed in you for supporting israel#mine
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