#the way i was thinking haha funny until i read it and then it HIT ME !!!!! uquiz taking me out with these answers AGAIN!!!!!!

[thedeadthree]

-`. WHAT FORM OF LOVE IS YOUR OC?

TAGGED BY @corvosattano, @chuckhansen, @jillvalentinesday, @leviiackrman, @jackiesarch, @marivenah and @nightbloodbix to take this quiz!!! thank you !!!! ❦

TAGGING: @flymm, @bloodofvalyria, @griffin-wood, @dekarios, @lavinet, @gortash, @fragilestorm, @dameayliins, @risingsh0t, @moonmothers, @cptcassian, @marivenah, @faerune, @mrdekarios, @queennymeria, @unholymilf, @florbelles, @jendoe, @jackiesarch, @adelaidedrubman, @theviridianbunny, @yennefre, @vanoefucks, @katsigian, @yennas, @fenharel, @full---ofstarlight, @baldursgate2, @druidgroves, @anoras, @lavampira, @bg3, @grapecaseschoices, @sstewyhosseini, @gwynbleidd, @shadowglens, @quickhacked, @malefiicarum, @minaharkers, @envergothash, @feypacts, @themalkavian and you!

-`. LOVE THAT HEALS.

your love is healing. it burns you with every bit of your soul, but you choose to heal, nevertheless. you are so, so so strong and i hope you know that. i send you peace. i send you calm. i hope things will become better for you in time, just as you have made others better in time as well.

-`. LOVE THAT LASTS.

love unconditional, love unfailing. you love no matter what happens because you believe in the best – of you, and them. it will hurt and it will fail you, but this love tastes so sweet – you can never believe that it bitters sometimes. the way you choose to love unconditionally is incredible.

-`. LOVE THAT PROTECTS.

you love so fiercely, with every fibre of your being. maybe you were wounded by love in the past ; such that you choose to love and love and love so wonderfully that the next person who comes into your life never doubts that they are loved by you.

-`. LOVE THAT STRENGTHENS.

you make sure that people know that they are loved, and you give them strength when they need it the most. this is an ability that is rare; the love that you hold speaks wonders of yourself. i hope you're doing alright. isn't it exhausting always being the bigger person?

-`. LOVE THAT CALMS.

this is sweet. i hope you know that you make others feel at ease around you. you're a gem, a blessing, a treasure – and you should know it. it's comfortable loving you. it's a privilege to be around you and to be let into your world.

[clawsdevour]

homemade film

wc: 1.3k content warning: post-timeskip, public, fingering, smut, kuroo x reader, not proof read

note: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 200 FOLLOWERS IN SUCH A SHORT TIME SPAN!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING MY RANDOM DRABBLES AND ONE SHOTS AND HCS THANK YOU <3

⋆·˚ ༘ ,

The smell of warm buttery popcorn hits your nose the moment your boyfriend, Kuroo, flings open the door for you. Heading in, both of you were so excited to watch this new movie that you see everyone talk highly about.

“Thank you.” Kuroo receives the two slips of tiny paper that tells you your seating, giving you yours to see what seat you’re sitting in.

Glancing down at your tickets, your seat was A19. Which means he’s either gonna be sitting next to you on A20 or A18. A? Is that the front or back row of the theater? Pondering, you’re really hoping it’s not the front.

“Kuroo, are we sitting in the front or back of the room?” Kuroo’s looking at you with a happy expression. You’re staring at him for an answer as he lets out a low nervous chuckle.

“So.. you know the movie’s pretty popular. Somehow I got us the last seats they had left. This might sound funny but, we’re sitting all the way in the back. And well.. in the corner too, haha..” you didn’t mind at all where you were gonna sit, you were just a bit curious about all the seats that would be sold out. You giggled out an It’s okay while you wrap your arm around his bicep.

“Let’s get some popcorn and a drink to share, then find our seats, yeah?” Kuroo nods while walking you over to the concession stands. You order a medium popcorn with extra butter and a soda before strolling down to your assigned theater.

It was pretty easy to find your seats. Like Kuroo said, back corner. Your seating location made it kinda difficult to see the screen. But you’re still able to watch the movie of the century with your boyfriend Kuroo, which was all that mattered to you. You feel his eyes on you as your head is turned to the screen with eyes glued on the advertisement.

“Can you see from here babe?” Kuroo asked while popping a few pieces in his mouth. Nodding your head, grabbing the drink from the cup holder. You brush your hands against his warm knuckles, averting your vision to look back at him as the lights slowly dim.

“I hope this movie is as good as they say…” you leaned in, whispering seductively to toy with him before you returned to your seat. He’s looking at you with his mouth slightly parted open, processing your advances. You see him shift the way he sits to get comfortable, slouching down in his seat. Possibly hiding his slightly growing erection as the movie started.

Halfway into the movie, he’s munching loudly on popcorn acting like the movie’s gonna end already. The look in his expression already tells you that he’s not getting the film whatsoever. Three quarters through, you started to understand why. The movie is such a bore. Did people actually sit through and watch this whole thing.. or are they lying in the reviews?? Random thoughts about the movie raced through your mind as you tried to understand this strange plot.

At some point in the movie it’s literally just the main character’s flashbacks replaying from the beginning of the movie. The light casted onto you from the screen, and onto your smooth thighs that spilled on the seat. Kuroo’s eyes couldn’t keep his gaze away, you felt his piercing pupils stare at you but you didn’t know where they lingered. That was until the brightness dimmed and you felt a warm big hand gently place itself on your leg.

Kuroo’s hand slowly stroked and carressed your thigh as he continued to have his attention on the screen. He knows what he’s doing. Your legs stiffened and pressed against each other. When you turned your head to look at him, his eyes watched the movie with a slight smirk that appeared on his face when he started to trace patterns onto your skin.

You can’t help but think This may be risky, but it does make things fun.. way more exciting than the movie itself. Biting down your lower lip before glancing to your right. People’s eyes are all focused on the boring film in front of them. You reach down, placing your hand on top of his to slide him down to your warm and slightly damp panties. Looking up at him through your lashes, he’s also taking a peek at you, understanding your motives.

“This movie’s boring, hmm?” Kuroo’s husky voice cooed in your ear, words only you’re able to hear through the whole room with his hand between your legs. Quietly you agree with him before rubbing them together when his fingers find and press against your clothed clit.

“You look so pretty today, getting all dolled up for our date.. even though the movie isn't that good as people said…” his lips placed a kiss on your cheek as he continued to murmur into your ear, his hot breath tickling your face.

“Can I make you feel good by slipping a finger or two in, baby?” Awaiting your permission, he doesn’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do. However, you grant access to his request. The thrill was exciting, you’ve never felt the adrenaline rush through you like this before.

Covering your silent gasp with your hands when his fingers reach into your underwear. Brushing against your clit, feeling all the collected slick that you produced down there from all the excitement. His middle finger fiddles around, making sure he gets it all wet before sticking it into you. You can’t help but squirm a bit in your seat when he makes contact with your bundle of nerves. Feeling his finger prob down there, your hand travels onto his forearm, impatiently signaling him to enter your hole. To which he obliges, holding back a sigh of relief while you feel his long thick finger enter you.

He feels you clench around him, driving him crazy. “Shit..” Kuroo’s mumbling to himself while you scanned the theater trying to cover his movements. He’s gradually taunting you down there, curling his finger around your tight walls, watching your silent reactions with a small grin plastered across his lips.

Feeling the knot start to build up in your stomach, ready to be released soon. Breathing heavily as he starts to speed up, he adds in another finger which makes you tilt your head back. Kuroo… this man..! When we get home I’m gonna suck you bone dry, just you wait. The juices coming out started to soak your panties, and eventually dripped down onto the cushions of the seat you’re sitting on.

Increasing your grip on his arm to let him know you’re close. He’s adding more speed and power with each thrust his fingers launch into you. Your legs started to shake as you tried to keep them apart for him so he could finish you off. Your nails dug deep into his arm, creating crescent marks on his skin. Knowing how that knot was about to be cut, he places his thumb on your clit. Kuroo’s thumb moved in circles to stimulate you further.

Shuffling around with your head pushed back on your seat with all your might, taking in his long and thick fingers that created stimulating waves of pleasure. Your vision turned white. It wasn’t the end credits of the movie, you just came on his fingers. That built up knot that was just cut, sent you into great relief as euphoria washes over you. Your grip on his arm dropped to a zero while you sat in your seat trying to get your breathing back to its original state.

Pulling his fingers out of your sopping wet pussy, he’s also looking around to see if anyone noticed. Slipping his digits away from your body, Kuroo’s eyes were filled with lust while he showed you his devious smirk.

“How ‘bout we make our own movie when we get home?” Kuroo whispers while he licks your warm release off his glossy fingers.

masterlist here

[eightstarr]

what's mine — ellie williams.

summary: the day you left for this assignment, ellie remembers thinking it would be okay— or maybe it was you who said it, your hands over her tense shoulders, her fingers tugging at your shirt, “you’ll be okay.” she goes home and knows it to be true, like words from a god. she’ll be okay and you’ll be back. what’s left to do but count the hours?

warnings: descriptions of violence (not very detailed), suggestive content near the end!

notes: uhhh i love being dramatic and i think it shows here. all i think about is the action of coming home to someone who loves you and how it is as meaningful now as it was a thousand years ago and as it will be in a hundred years but whatever haha sorry about that guys. if you read this i love you btw

don't support zionist neil druckmann.

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・。.・゜✧・. ────

Being without Ellie is disorienting. The first week feels like walking alone in a dark room, feeling the walls for a light switch, running into sharp corners that stab your sides. You miss her like it's a sickness, less a longing and more a threat to whatever you’re made of.

There's a small community way outside of Jackson offering a trade. Maria makes it sound simple, like everything else. “They know us, it’ll be quick. You pick up the supplies, drop off our part of the deal, and come back.”

It takes 26 days. The exchange is simple but the journey less so, you and three others have to carry home the much needed medical supplies through herds of infected and a heavy storm that slows you down and cuts off your communication for three terrifying nights.

Ellie wanders the house and feels like a stranger, sickly, a sleepless corpse searching for living blood. The light coming through the windows feels too bright and her skin abnormally cold. She knows, or thinks, that if she’s not careful she could get lost in it— merge every wall together until there’s nothing left to see but a stark flatness, an unfamiliar box. The space is not huge. It's not a tall castle or a manor in the countryside or anything fitting to the theatricality of loneliness, but it’s your home. So much of you is in it. Ellie finds herself focusing on a different thing each passing day, clinging to them with a nauseating desperation, a hundred random pieces of you scattered like breadcrumbs to keep her sane. A book with a folded corner somewhere along the first half of the story, your favorite mug next to the sink, an old pair of jeans ripped at the knee on your side of the drawer. Too many things for you not to come back.

“Do you think I'm losing my mind?” she asks, a soft wrinkle between her furrowed brows, her eyes focused on a random spot ahead. “I mean, it’s been two weeks,” she’s trying to sound like it's not as bad as it looks, like she finds any of it funny or interesting instead of plainly horrifying. The sole of her shoes hits the floor in an anxious rhythm, mocking her— tap, tap, tap, tap. “Isn’t that fucked up?”

Dina curses at the lighter until it flickers back to life with a weak orange flame, holding it near the end of the half finished blunt. She inhales and passes it over, breathing out, “You’re not crazy.”

A pause. Ellie lets the comment comfort her for a single second before it flies right through her head, sounding more quiet than usual when she admits, “...I have this feeling like someone took something from me.”

Dina raises her eyebrows, her chuckle cut off by a short cough, smoke itching her throat. “You mean, like… what’s her name?” she squints her eyes and tries to remember. 

The name worms around Ellie’s head like it has been for days, bold letters, clear as day. She makes no attempt to let it pass through her lips, self aware and unrelenting at the same time, maybe finding some indefensible satisfaction in the fact that it can be forgotten. Cruel, you'd tease, and Ellie would smirk a lot like she tries not to now.

Dina gives up a second later, “Whatever— the girl that volunteered to go with them before you could. You're blaming her?”

“I guess.”

“Hm. That’s a little…”

“Don’t say crazy—”

“Crazy.”

“Fuck you,” she rolls her eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“So you’re not jealous?”

Ellie scoffs, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. Dina argues unlike anyone else. She’s confident, her goal clear and her strategy already lined up before you get a word in, loaded like a gun. But her strongest contender, perhaps the only one, might be Ellie’s simple stubbornness. “I’m concerned. She got picked over me even though I've studied that route a hundred fucking times. I could've done a better job,” she says, steady and tireless like bulletproof glass.

“At getting the supplies or at taking care of your girlfriend?”

“You’re starting to sound like Maria.”

Dina pauses for a short moment before she shrugs. “Maria makes good points.”

Ellie takes one last hit of the blunt and flicks it across the room to die out somewhere on the permanently damp floor. She tries to believe it. No one took you, she thinks, you left dutifully like anyone else in Jackson would've, like Ellie would've. It’s a dangerous trip but a job like any other, the same risk of deadly infection that comes with any of them. She should be used to it by now. Does it not also exist every other day of the year?

Still, she can't remember the last time she didn't see your face for this long. You’ve been dating for a little over three years, living together for half of that— it's a terrifyingly meaningful chunk of your young lives, months and months of seeing you everyday, of falling asleep with her face on the crook of your neck and waking up with your fingers pressing into her waist. You've built a world where things like this don’t happen, where all Ellie can think about as she leaves home is the way you hum in the mornings, soft and sleepy and so fucking cute, when you wake up to her back against your chest and her hair on your face. She thinks about her own laugh, how shy it sounds, how your lips press to her head before she turns around to claim a proper kiss.

But now you’re not here, and she’s too terrified to even utter the words out loud, and there's a hole in her chest where you should be that makes her feel insane everywhere she goes. It's an open wound leaving a hazardous trail of shame and memories, humming in her ears like a boiling kettle, who took what's mine?

Ellie has never considered herself to be the jealous type, but she never was the type to sleep with her back turned to someone this comfortably, either. It’s different with you. It's theatricality, it’s the coldness of that bed at night, it’s your legs tangled with hers like growing roots now disjointed. It’s a thing, breathing and alive, screaming at nothing— I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

Is that girl you went with hanging from your every word in that way she always does? Is that a shameful thought to have? Ellie wipes it clean in a second and finds it immediately there again, at the front of her mind like a message on a cloudy mirror. She can't think about anything else. Is the storm keeping the two of you awake? Does a part of you find the girl brave for volunteering? Is she turning to look at you and asking, just loud enough, are you asleep? That fall earlier was rough, how are you feeling? Is she looking at your wounds like they matter more than doing a good job? Is your blood, warm and red and yours, on her hands now?

The last of the smoke spills past her lips in a sigh. Ellie pulls her knees closer to her chest and tugs at the loose thread on your ripped jeans.

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

There’s a comfortable weight that keeps you under, the loving press of her arm resting over your chest, her thumb brushing your chin. The sun feels warm where it’s draped across Ellie’s back, white tank top wrinkled slightly up her waist.

She watches you until you let out a little sigh, squint one eye open and then slowly the next, a smile stretching your lips as soon as your sight focuses on her. She looks beautiful. She looks just like she did before you left, your girl.

It’s weird— you’ve showered, scrubbed your hands clean and raw, changed clothes. And still you feel like you’ve brought in something dirty, like it’ll be stuck on you for a while, the grime, the guns, the storm. Your muddy shoes must still be sitting by the front door. Something in your head screams that you should get rid of them, burn them like an evidence of guilt. Do you look anything like you did before you left? You feel like a worn version of yourself, sticky and darkened. It’s a ridiculous worry to have, but the thought comes hand in hand with embarrassment and you can feel it crawling up your neck. You cover your face with your hands and groan tiredly, shy.

Ellie laughs, warm like musk, salve on a wound.

"Are you watching me sleep?" you mutter, voice ridden with exhaustion and joy all at once. The thing, love, obsession, both— breathes along with you. "Freak."

"Yeah, I was,” she shifts to sit on your lap, one knee on either side of you, spilling her confession easily. Ellie leans over to push your hands away from your face and press her lips to yours, passionate but short lived, still softly brushing against each other when she says, "I missed this face."

You chuckle, eyes tracing over her freckled cheeks, hands squeezing her thighs, feeling strangely like you’re being washed clean. “I missed you.”

Ellie closes her eyes and rests her forehead against yours, her fingers caressing your cheeks, looking at you again when her thumb brushes against the ridge of a scar. It’s a warped line that almost follows the shape of your cheekbone, from your hairline to somewhere near the corner of your lips. She'd seen it last night, nauseous with worry and relief to have you back, her vision clouded. The morning reveals it in a different, heartbreaking light. It’s okay, you’d said during the night, your hands on either side of her face much like hers are on you now, didn't even need stitches. Ellie tries to let that sink in, make the guilt feel any better. But it can't. Maybe you’d been saved the prick of a needle, but she knows it still hurt, she knows it bled and stung. It feels like a betrayal. If I can't save you the pain, she thinks, I owe you the witnessing, the chance to clean its wry edges, pat it dry. "How'd you get this one?" she asks, as softly as she can.

You’d been prepared for the question but not the devastation in her eyes. It falls over you like a ton of bricks, her love making your chest ache and sinking you back into the memory.

There was an empty house, or what looked like one. Pieces of broken glass scattered over the rotting wood of an old, wobbly table. A man's hand placed forcefully on your head. The side of your face rammed into the table with a thud when he pushed you down, the faint pain of something slicing into your cheek made worse by your struggle to get free. A kick and he stumbled back. A slice of your knife and he fell dead. You don't think the fact will do much to comfort Ellie. So, in hopes of sparing her, you hum and shake your head. "Come here," you say, or beg, a hand on the back of her neck like fond guidance. "Let me kiss your pretty face."

She feels soft like satin on your lips, tastes like honey and black tea. Ellie kisses like she argues, experienced and unruly all at once, with a point to make— I need you and I want you to know it. Her tongue slips past your parted lips and brings a muffled sound from your throat that almost makes her pull slightly away, if it weren't for the feeling of your fingers tightening on her neck to have her closer. A faint thought crosses Ellie’s mind, a feeling like pity for the person she was before you, whoever that was, an old self who couldn't know what it's like to be devoured so caringly.

She brushes her nose against yours and you let out a sigh that sounds painfully like a prayer, her short hair a dark veil over your eyes when she turns her head to press kisses on your cheek. "You can't leave me like that again," she breathes out.

You swallow her words, a confused wrinkle between your eyebrows. “Ellie—”

A kiss cuts you off. You slide your hands up her thighs to her waist, a surprised hum vibrating against her lips when she wraps her fingers around your wrists and squeezes, as if to keep them there. She leans back and stares into you, and for the first time since you’ve known Ellie, you can't tell if she's commanding you or begging. “I won’t let you.”

It’s a gesture. It goes beyond the reality of your lives, the fact that any day either one of you could be made to leave again, that any day either one of you could die. It means I missed you. It means I need it to be me who looks after you. It means I love you.

Your stomach flutters, hungry with an urgent craving. And like you have every day since you’ve known Ellie, you find yourself unable to deny her love or the indulging promise of a different world— but maybe those mean the same thing. "I'm not leaving you," you say, breathless, and it might as well be true.

Ellie makes a sound in response that feels painfully close to a moan, a soft mmhm that clouds your head of anything that may or may not exist outside of this room. The tip of her nose brushes against your neck and then continues its way down, her fingers sneaking inside your shirt, pulling up the fabric and pressing kisses over the skin that’s revealed. "I love you," she says, almost near the band of your underwear, her blushed lips parted. You feel her breath against the burning fire in your lower stomach, reaching out to cradle her cheek against your hand. She feels hot, flushed pink under her freckles, and you’re not sure if she hears you say I love you, Ellie as much as she watches you mouth the words. She presses her face further into your hand, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, begging as if she’d ever have to, “Baby, I need— please.”

You don't hear yourself say yes, but the look in her eyes says you must have.

[simplyreveries]

Hiii!! Can I request headcanons for how the overblot crew holds you?? Btw i really loved reading your posts! You're such a good writer

holding you; overblot boys

TY LOVELY<3

riddle rosehearts

as mentioned before, riddle is usually the one held- he is a shameless little spoon haha. he prefers to be against your heart as he holds you tightly and lets out the longest sigh as if to let go of his stress and tenseness melt away just by being with you like this.

he doesn't necessarily ask to cuddle or anything, but you can tell when he's craving some of them from you. he just hadn't realized (and frankly still hasn't) how touch starved he is so once he's comfortable, he's hooked.

riddle can’t help but lean against you sometimes, usually when he’s having a hard time during the day as dorm leader and responsibilities, he tries ever so hard to keep up with. if you’re just sitting next to him talking to him or showing him something on your phone, you’ll notice him inching closer and closer to you until your arms are pressed together and leaning face his real close to yours. if you happen to point that out, he'll quickly move away all flustered.

leona kingscholar

he holds onto you all the time because you’ve become his own pillow when he’s wanting to take a nap. you’ll find yourself just deciding to spend the night at his dorm when too much time passes— not like you really can go anyway when he only holds you tighter whenever you shift.

leona is a perfect person for you if you’re naturally cold because he is a heater… he is always so warm when against you. I guess it’s good because his dorm can get chilly with the outside open to it, so you’ll only find yourself curling more against him anyway.

seriously though he like refuses to let you go unless you complain that you absolutely need to go or something. even then he's such a grump when you have to leave. especially when he's laying on your lap like the audacity?? agdjsjdk

if you’re shorter than him he’d do the thing where head yours your head or shoulders as an armrest because he’s such a jerk like that. he does it so nonchalantly too.

azul ashengrotto

undeniably clingy with you whether he wants to admit it or not. he is constantly drawn to you and your presence whenever he's around you. "i've missed you all day, pearl" he'll dramatically sigh and tell you woefully how tired and overworked he is as he puts his arms around your waist and lay his head against your shoulder burying his face into your neck.

azul prefers to be face to face when cuddling,, he likes to look at you. he loves it when you have easy access to cover his face with kisses and he can grab your hands and press his lips gently to them.

you’ll find him often putting his gloved hand around your waist and keep it on your side, he does it really without thinking. he’ll just be beside you and talking to you about something and find a way to keep a hand on you.

jamil viper

have you seen scarabia?? his room?? he's got a bunch of pillows and they're always so soft and so comfortable when he's holding you... though there are sometimes when you playfully hit him with them and he has no choice but to get you back as well. that probably was the first time you've seen him so lively.

he has a habit of holding you from behind when sleeping. like leona, he is naturally a warm person as well. he has your back to his chest and his head in your hair.. jamil is really shameless about it. he feels content in your presence and scent.

jamil falls asleep rather easily around you, its a bit funny if you're more so a night owl because he does try to stay awake around you as you talk and do whatever. as you sit up on the bed, he'll be lying beside you with his arms around you. but he can't help but feel his eyelids grow heavy and drifts to sleep.

vil schoenheit

vil is very gentle... idc what anyone says. whenever he's holding you close and cuddling, he loves to have his hand anywhere on your skin as he'd stroke your back, your arm, waist... wherever he feels like in the moment. it feels light and feathery, i just know his hands are incredibly soft too. he can't help but softly laugh whenever he sees you start to feel ticklish from it.

if you ask him to, he will hum songs for you, you get to hear his pretty voice. It’s definitely a special privilege you get by being his. you’ll get to hear your most favorite songs too; he’ll sigh and teasingly tell you you’re quite the demanding one when begging him to him your favorite songs and melodies.

he loves when he can smell the perfume/cologne just any fragrances on you. especially knowing its ones he's given and gifted to you. he enjoys the idea of you wearing something of his own like that.

idia shroud

he was so nervous to do anything even as simple and cute look that at first, even though he desperately wanted to. you’d have to initiate it first then he’d follow along and wrap his arms around you. Idia would shove his face and hide it somewhere on you, though you can feel his lips curve into a smile when it’s against your neck hehe.

idia usually always has some sort of show or movie on though, it makes it a lot less nerve wracking for him when you’ve got something like distracting. but also he totally loves just lazing around playing video games with you laying against him.

okay but once he is more comfortable be prepared for him because he definitely is pretty clingy and wants his hands on you a lot… he’ll be drained after some dorm leader meeting he was forced into participating in and he collapses onto the bed just wanting to be with you. you'll feel his cold hands snake around you and he'll snicker when you get so surprised.

malleus draconia

malleus is such a big sucker for affection from you. he doesn't even seem to care where he is or who's around him, he just sees you. he loves putting his arms around you from behind your back and hugging you. sometimes he'll slowly shift side to side in a sweet manner.

pleaseee he loves it when you absentmindedly play with his long hair. he’ll let you do whatever you want to it, he thinks it’s funny however you choose to do it. but adores it most when you're just combing your fingers through his hair. he'll close his eyes and have the most content smile on his face.

when malleus is holding you, most likely deeply asleep curled on him, his favorite thing to do is look at you... oh, so blissfully and trace your features on your face with his fingertips, lingering right on your lips. malleus has this energy around him where he'll end up feeling like the safest place you can be, ironic enough with the stigma other students hold around him. this man treats you like glass.

[forestdeath1]

People say that Sirius never realised how offensive his words were until James or Remus said it to him.

I personally disagree with this take. I think, Sirius was very aware of how offensive his words and actions were. James didn't realise, but Sirius did.

Sirius finds people's sore spots and deliberately hits them. This is not James's "morally orientated" and rather impersonal bullying, this is a deliberate way of humiliating people Sirius doesn't particularly respect. People want to believe Sirius "didn't realise" what he was doing because it's easier to love Sirius and justify their Wolfstar that way, but Sirius always understood what he was doing, unlike James. Sirius probably rarely crossed the line beyond psychological bullying, but didn't stop James from physical bullying – he found it fun. But he himself hardly participated in physical aggression, although he obviously could have, being magically and physically gifted. It seems Sirius had drawn the line for himself.

Sirius wasn’t a little stupid boy, he matured very early, he had a very good understanding of boundaries and was always very aware of where he and James were crossing those boundaries.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly.

Sirius knew about James's crush on Lily and found it even funny that she rejected him. Because Sirius understood that James often crossed the line, and Lily’s reaction was quite fair.

‘What is it with her?’ said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. 

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

While James played the splendid knight in shining armor, Sirius found it all amusing. Because it was fun for him. And no one told him he was doing anything wrong, he already knew it. Remus mostly stayed quiet, sometimes making them “feel ashamed", haha. He's just much more socially anxious than Sirius, he doesn't like being "unliked." Sirius has zero social anxiety, he didn't care whether people loved him or not (besides, James loved him, what else did he need? Right, nothing).

And I think Sirius truly only respected James. Someone who Sirius truly respects, he never hurt. The moment when Sirius "hurts" Harry in book five is a pretty harsh moment, because Sirius loses respect for Harry for a brief moment because Harry turns out to be different from James. But then Sirius shows a new and even stronger respect for Harry. It's a good moment. This moment allowed Sirius to grow in his relationship with Harry.

And it's obvious Sirius respected Lily by fifth year. And after Azkaban, he "learned" to respect others (he reacted pretty gently in his argument with Molly), but his arrogance still showed sometimes (ie, he rudely cut off Hermione, not letting her finish her thought).

Anyway, what had changed with age wasn't that Sirius had realised that his words and actions were offensive. He always knew that. And he had shown even after Azkaban how cruel he could be to those he didn't respect. The only thing that changed was that Sirius started respecting random people more, instead of sitting around like a shiny royal arse.

But there is a NUANCE here. Sirius most likely always treated girls with respect by default. Idk why I just feel it :D With Hermione, they just didn't see eye to eye.

[rwrbficrecs]

Thanks for all the love on the recent Readers' Choice list ✨ The May faves are a little late but hope you all enjoy these recs 💕

you turned a moment (into forever) by viciouslyqueer (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Think of the fluffiest bedsharing fic you've ever read and combine it with a college roommates AU, and you have this fic! I can't stress enough just how soft this fic is, this is the perfect fic for if you need a quick pick-me-up!

running through my mind all day by allthelovesaved (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Henry rarely, if ever, jogs. It's not something that interests him. That is until he stumbles upon Alex's TikTok profile (thanks, Pez!!). Alex, a passionate runner, shares his knowledge in a captivating way. Coincidentally, he's also the brother of Henry's colleague June, who convinces him to join their "group running thing"... This sweet, sweet story is fluffy and funny, very soft and a little silly (says the author), and it just made me very, very happy.

Wit and Wisdom by @pridepages (book-verse)

@heysweetheart-writes: A window into the future of "Little Matters" my absolute favorite story. Im so in love with this family and happy to see the woman Cat has become and how much of Alex she carries with her. I cried and laughed and EJ left me wanting more of them as usual. If you haven't read Little Matters yet, what are you doing with your life?? Haha

hymns down your sides by @smc-27 (book-verse)

@na-dineee: One of my favourite authors delivers yet again! Henry, a refined boyband veteran in his mid-30s, meets wild, lately kind of self-destructive boyband star Alex. Henry can't probably save him, but maybe he can give him a push in the right direction? This story put me through the emotional wringer. So many feelings, so much hurt, and the chemistry - absolutely gripping!

the poem you make of me by @omgcmere (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The riches found within this fic know no bounds! It's a writer Henry AU that maintains a lot of the same themes as the book (which it coveys just as well), but it adds another layer of heart with the fact that in this verse, Henry is not just a writer, but a poet.

Savasana by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Lawyer Alex has hit a low point in his career. The situation is absolutely not pretty, and understandably, Alex is skeptical about whether yoga can fix it, as June suggests. Can yoga instructor Henry straighten things out for Alex? - Alex pulls one Alex after another - it gave me whiplash in the best possible way! The story is very touching and sweet, also absolutely hilarious at the same time !! So fun to read !!

Henry Fox, All-American Hero by @tintagel-or-cockleshells (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is an AU of a book I loved in middle school, so not only did it give me so much nostalgia, but it has all the quirkiness of RWRB too! Alex in this is so mischievous and sweet, and I love it!

A Wretched Beginning by @royalasstronaut (book-verse)

@dot524: This was a fun romp — forbidden relationship, college/academic AU, tension and angst, and loads of longing. Henry is Alex’s TA and um… things happen. Oh, and they may also be connected in other mysterious ways.

Pleasant Melody by @clottedcreamfudge (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Love at first sight that feels magical in otherworldly way is one of my favourite kinds of love stories. And this fic is a spectacular example! Henry is a pirate, Alex is a very special siren, they shouldn't make sense but they do. The longing is excellent and I would gladly read ten more fics based on the same concept.

Meant to Be Yours by @affectionatelyrs & @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Definitely one of the most unhinged fics I've read in this fandom. (Warning: proceed with caution!) Alex loves Henry, Henry doesn't know Alex exists. Alex's dream is of course to meet Henry and his attempts to do so are... worrying. Second-hand embarrassment hits hard, highly recommend!

check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️

[pvlvsdog]

Uh hi!! I have never requested for LC so if it's.weirs sounding. Sorry.

Anyways Reader teasing the sinners? (Hc or smth. Whatever works best for you! :D)

No worries! Oh, if you’ve only seen the stuff my irl group left in my inbox /lh /nm /aff this isn’t weird at all! I try to work with hcs when I can, but not specifying that is on me, so until I get around to editing my bio, I suppose I do drabbles n stuff too. Or try haha

UNEDITED

Ryoshu lets out a ‘hmpf’ sound in a what that you can’t really tell if she’s annoyed or amused. She’s considered pretty intimidating by most so it is a bit funny to her to see you acting so bold. Especially when others look at you with disbelief. A few times you could swear the corners of her lips moved upwards. After all, she does enjoy a good quip or any other display of sharp wit. Which then leads to her teasing you right back, though her timing is always unexpected. It’s almost like a little game you two play, seeing where you can push the other one (within reason). And if asked, Ryoshu will shamelessly admit that she enjoys that part of your shared routine

With Rodya it’s a bit hit or miss. It really depends on what you say and it’s hard to read what will get a pass. I mean, to someone who doesn’t pay much mind to her, everything gets a pass. But there are times where you unknowingly will hit a sore spot and her joking demeanour will become a lot more rehearsed. Her main way of avoiding her self conscious thoughts is by making little jabs at others, so don’t be surprised if her ‘silly payback’ stings a bit. Sometimes it’s fine. But it’s not easy to tell if your teasing will make her blush or if it will ruin her day. Her ego, despite the front she puts up, is incredibly fragile and even when you’re innocently teasing her, she might assume you’re looking down on her. Even if she won’t outright say it, you will feel her discomfort shortly after

It’s only a little less unlikely for Don to misconstrue your words. Her love language is very earnest and genuine, so sometimes she just doesn’t get the purpose of your teasing. However, she’s less likely to assume anything bad by it and mostly it gets the desired reaction out of her. Doesn’t really tease you back though, it’s just not her style of affection, I think

You’d think Hong Lu falls somewhere in the similar category but he’s way more witty than he gets credit for and he goes along with your teasing. He sees it as the playful banter it is and when you least expect it he’ll innocently say something to get you just as worked up as you wanted to make him. Always a bit of a (pleasant) “jumpscare” when he does that. Hard to out-tease the lad, but it’s always a good time for both parties when you try :3

Ishmael gives you the most typical reaction. She’s way more used to being the one that does the teasing so when you start with your sillies, she tries to “fight back”. No luck though, you usually get her to flush and there’s no doubt your words affect her. She huffs something out for you to shut up but she’s not very convincing whenever she does so

But if you think Ish reacts strongly, you need to look at Heathcliff. Most times he’ll get absolutely awkward about it. Sure, sometimes he’s a bit oblivious. A bit like when he got offended that Dante thought he frequented clubs. When he was informed that it was a positive kind of comment, he got all awkward and didn’t really know what to do with himself, since that was not the kind of comment he expected to be directed at him. So if you want him worked up and temporarily not-functional, I absolutely recommend teasing the bloke

On a surface level, Faust is not only not affected but not very receptive to your teasing. She responds very matter-of-factly and with the same seriousness in her vacant eyes as if she was announcing the end of your work day. But don’t be fooled. There are occasions where she’ll pull an uno reverse card on you. Responding calmly she’ll inquire about the meaning behind your playful comment until you verbally run into a corner to the point where you’re admitting to the affectionate undertones of your teasing. You don’t even know how she does it. One second you’re being all silly and flirty and the next you’re all surrendered telling her how you like her, getting flustered by her painfully practical approach

The main difference with Outis is that she might genuinely not get it. Her guard’s always up and she’s been restless for so long, without a safe place to call her own, that playful banter almost seems like a luxury she can’t afford. She’s still in the mindset of surviving day to day (I mean… her job doesn’t exactly make it easy to let go of that notion) and you’re so casual with her. It makes her feel like a version of herself she had to bury a long time ago. But because of that contrast, she sometimes needs time to catch your teasing tone. She never assumes you mean anything bad by your comments, she likes you enough to grant you her patience and understanding way more than the others, but it takes up to 3 tries for her to catch the intent of your words. She’s not very good at reading back, but if you want to try flustering her, this is a good start

Then we have Meursault. He just really doesn’t get it. Each comment you make gets a painfully serious response out of him and you can’t really tell if he’s messing with you or if he really doesn’t get it. Knowing him, it might be the latter. Though if your teasing is more of the physical kind, you might affect him a bit. On the inside though, sorry, but he won’t let that kind of feeling you give him affect his “professional approach”

And we’re back to characters you would make an absolute mess out of. This time, the title goes to Dante. They are so used to being a tool and not having people pay much close attention to them (other than examining their changed body) that your teasing takes them by surprise. Add to that the fact that they can be rather awkward at times and you get the picture of your manager being delightfully graceless in their attempts to give any proper reaction or response. A few times your coworkers joked that you broke them. That did not help to make Dante more coherent

Before opening himself up, Yi Sang would be rather defeatist, not engaging much in your silliness. But that changes after he gets some time to grow and heal when the bus leads him to revisit his past. It’s much more easy to get a blush or a faint smile out of him and he might even surprise you with some (quite wordy) responses of his own

The only word to describe Gregor’s reaction is ‘exasperated’. He’s not like, outright mad or anything. Yeah, I mean, you do kind of have to watch not to hit a painful spot, but it’s easier to avoid with him (just no bug stuff and you’re pretty much in the clear) plus, as awful as I feel for saying this, he’s way too defeatist to counter most painful comments too. His main thing though is that he can’t believe how bold and blatant you are. Especially teasing him in this way. Him, out of everyone in the bus. I mean, he can’t call himself a catch and the way he sees it, there are much more attractive, put together and younger people you could be going after. Publically at that. Besides, some things you say are just way bolder than anything he could even say when drunk (or so he tells himself, tipsy Gregor is not as subtle as sober Greg would like to believe). If you knew him less, you could think that the way he sighs and shakes his head is a sign of total rejection, but that’s not the case. To be fair, if he tried to respond properly he would probably be more awkward. Romance is foreign to him and it stresses him out that he can’t really guess what people say in situations like this. The way you know you did good is when he completely goes blank. Honestly, he looks a bit staggered. The one time he did try to make a sound, he sounded like that too-

Lastly, Sinclair is a tough one. Because I don’t think it’s just so cut and dry that I can just say he gets cute and blushy. He’s… eager at heart (he wants to have someone, so having you show interest is definitely big for him) but so inexperienced and anxious, it doesn’t help his case. But he’s also one of the sinners that is used to being seen less-than and his insecurity makes him fear that your teasing might have different implications. He’s been called useless and naive, amongst other things, so many times. And he doesn’t want to be seen as some weak willed pushover. Especially not by you. You don’t think that, do you? He prays you don’t. His work is tough on him as is, it would be a lie to say you aren’t a beacon of light amongst his gore and guilt filled world. You’ve seen how easy it was to get him down when his coworkers made comments about his appearance. So it’s 50/50 with him. He might try to object. Sometimes he might actually come off too strongly. Other times he just fumbles with his words. And sometimes, when he is sure that your comment is definitely a good natured one, he just fumbles in general. Honestly, this is a half joke but I can almost see him blurt out ‘I want you’ in response like one time and then scurry off terrified wishing to never be resurrected again

[anyaeras]

Fucked up day || Wandnat

Paring Wanda x Natasha x Reader

Summary || Wanda and Natasha got a little carried away this Friday the 13th, but they did it in the name of love hmm?

Warnings || smut ,, AFAB!reader (They/them pronouns) ,, dom!wanda ,, dom!GP!Natasha ,, sub!reader ,, cunnalingus ,, d!v sex ,, light bondage ,, murder mentions ,, dark!plot ideas ,, slight mommy!kink ,, (a little degrading, if you squint) ,, manipulation concepts

Twitter Masterlist

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Friday the 13th Was all a joke to you, a stupid day that everybody wanted to act absurd, especially this Friday the 13th as it was in October approaching Halloween, you on the other hand had decided to have a quiet evening, until the news came on.

Reporting that multiple suspicious murders have taken place in your nearby city, no idea who the suspected killer is and it seems that they were still loose.

Clearly that's a little unsettling as a serial killer on the loose nearby isn't the most comforting feeling, yet it must be a whole Nother Friday the 13th prank that has gone way too far.

Now around 8:30 at night long after the sun had set, the cold brisk of the fall evening had settled, in the kitchen y/n was preparing a late dinner, simple really cutting up a few vegetables for the dish just than their phone with off.

'Unknown caller ID' the name read thinking nothing of it y/n let it go to voice mail, yet moments after the number called again.

Curiosity, overpowered ignorance, with that y/n picked up their cell.

"Do you like scary movies?" A strange male sounding voice asked over the line, leaving y/n with a shiver.

"Umm not really, I don't watch them a lot" y/n replied not thinking to much about it as none of this seemed familiar.

"What a shame, I wanted to know what's your favorite scary movie?" The raspy voice asked and that's when it hit her, the movies with the stabbing, that's what the line was from.

"Haha very funny, trying to prank me with a line from a movie" y/n said clearly not impressed before hanging up, a huge horror movie mistake.

Then again it was just a joke, going on continuing, making their meal, the sound of the front door opening, caught them off guard.

"Hello? Can I help you?" Y/n voice shouted threw the house.

"Yes sure you can y/n." The same raspy voice from over the phone now was heard throughout their house.

"This isn't funny what is this a sick joke to you?!" Y/n shouted now finally a bit uneasy with the whole situation, especially because I had no idea who would come into their house.

Y/n felt something or should they say someone quickly grab them pulling them backwards, kicking and screaming to get loose yet someone in a ghost face mask also now stood in front of them.

"every good screen movie always has two killers" the ghost face in front said.

Y/n was manhandled into a chair tied down in merely seconds.

"See y/n all these killing tonight were for you, we did it for you." The ghostface behind y/n explained

"What do you mean you did this for me? You killed innocent people?!" Y/n shouted out now confused and disgusted.

A phone was pulled from the front ghostfaces pocket, showing y/n each person who was killed, each one in someway had a relationship to y/n and they knew it.

"Y-you kill my friends? W-why?" Managing to stutter out words, almost frozen in a form of shock.

"They weren't your friends, especially not him!" the first ghost face was clearly becoming impatient as they should the photo of y/n's boyfriends slashed body, causing y/n to gasp, a few tears falling down their face.

"You're sick!"

"We aren't sick, we are protecting you, he would've just hurt you honey, we will protect you" at that point the slasher in front took off their mask, revealing themself

"Natasha?" Y/n gasped seeing the fiery redhead under the mask

"W-who's that-" now asking referring to the other masked murderer confused if one of them was Natasha, then who could the other one be?

Removing the mask, a shimmering Burnett was revealed

"Wanda? Why? Why me? Are you both going to kill me now?" They asked the two once masked murders who giggled in response to said question.

"Of course not silly, we did it all to save you, we wouldn't want to hurt you dear" Wanda spoke softly her knife touching y/n face gently.

"S-so what exactly do you want with me" clearly y/n was still confused on why their friends caused all these killings when the only reasoning they gave y/n was they killed them was to 'save you'

Natasha took her turn moving closer so that she could grab y/n's jaw forcing them to look up at her.

"Y/n, Wanda and I want all of you детка. You are ours" Natasha spoke soft words in a harsh tone

"SO YOU KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, ARE YOU GUYS DUMB WHAT IF YOU GET CAUGHT?" Y/n shouted finding the whole situation absolutely absurd.

"Are you going to turn us in?" Natasha's face held the same signature smirk, each word was taunting to the person tied in the chair.

"No they wouldn't turn us in, they don't wanna lose us" Wanda joined in on the teasing, giving y/n a quick kiss

Y/n couldn't help but enjoy the kiss, as much as they didn't want to due to the circumstances, y/n did have a tiny crush on the two women.

"That's pathetic y/n, you didn't even pull away" Wanda laughed clearly y/n wanted them even after they killed, and tied them up, and both older women knew that would be the outcome, that's why they did it.

"Guys I- umm" y/n being flustered made Natasha laugh, now taking a kiss herself from the tied up y/n.

"It's okay to want us детка" Wanda spoke softly brushing some of y/n's loose hair out of their face.

"But I shouldn't-" quickly y/n's words were hushed by the two other women who wanted to ruin the innocent one who was tied to a chair.

Natasha was getting fed up with y/n going back and forth and finally took things into her own hands. Swiftly moving to kiss now down y/n's neck, making them gasp at the feeling.

"T-Tasha" y/n's words were breathy as the redhead kept kissing on them

"Darling it seems you're a little trapped, would you like us to stop?" Wanda asked softly yet she was serious, for being a bit crazy, she was still caring and didn't want to do anything to harm y/n. Natasha also pulled away for a moment looking up at y/n for their consent yet when y/n whined for them to keep going the knew it was free game.

Natasha moved back into sucking non y/n's neck while Wanda dropped to her knees between y/n's legs.

"Can mommy taste you honey?" The name caught y/n off guard yet they still nodded giving Wanda the go, now as the witch moved y/n's pants to the floor, along with their panties she almost went feral just at the site.

"Fuck" the one tied to the chair huffed out biting their lip as Wanda got to work, having fun working y/n up

"Look at you, all tied up for us" Natasha teased as Wanda was a bit busy.

Natasha moved to grope y/n's body even more, slowly bringing them over the edge.

"Let go for us моя ангел" the redhead coaxed them over the edge, forcing y/n into their first orgasm.

Wanda lifted her head to forcefully kiss y/n, making them taste themself on her cherry colored lips. As Wanda held the kids her hands moved behind the chair, untying y/n's arms, so that the Burnett could reposition the once tied up y/n, now pushing them onto all fours, Natasha stood behind, while Wanda moved to stand in front.

"Can we use you pretty one?" Wanda bent down asking softly, yet her words were far from innocent, yet with y/n's brain already being fuzzy they were quick to nod along.

Natasha undid her jeans, pulling out her dick, finding a way to line up with y/n's cunt, slowly sliding into them making y/n moan out loudly, which Wanda countered by forcing y/n's mouth onto her cunt, giving the Burnett pleasure each time y/n moaned, Tasha on the other hand was railing y/n from behind as her dick was covered now in y/n's slick juices, making it easier for her to move in and out, which was causing y/n to scream moving closer to their second climax's.

"F-fuck I-I'm close" y/n groaned out, making Natasha thrust harder, as she herself was rather close.

"Make mommy cum and you can cum y/n" Wanda ordered making y/n work even harder at eating out Wanda, focusing on her clit more than before until the women's legs were shaking as she let go her orgasm left, prominent on y/n's face.

"Go on дорогой let go" Wanda whispered as Natasha also let her seed fill y/n, which was the finally push, making y/n shake as she orgasmed loudly.

"You did so good baby" Natasha whispered pulling out slowly, still using her arms to help support y/n, as it was clear they couldn't stand on their own.

"So so good for us, but детка, we have got to get out of here" Wanda explained now lifting y/n, supporting their weight, as Natasha grabbed keys, they were ready to skip town due to the early nights activities but as well as taking y/n far far away from this fucked up town, on the fucked up day....

[pablitogavii]

I have a slightly strange idea, since in Spain it is hot in the summer it has occurred to me that Gavi is with his partner and that if the girl refuses to give him a hug because of the heat and the next day Pablo put the air conditioner on full (so it would be cold) for the girl to hug him. I don't know if you could do something with this

No more excuses!

"Joder! Es demasiado caliente!" you said while you were sitting on the balcony of your and Pablo's shared apartment drinking some cold lemonade trying to answer you emails.

You just had to come back inside but after collecting so much heat from the outside, you were still sweating despite the AC being turned on.

"I'm home amor!" Pablo walked in with Ale returning from the daily run. You were still confused how he could run during weather like this! That's an athlete for you haha!

He reached to hug you but you pulled back asking him to shower and he groaned giving his friend his car keys and he left before Pablo went to the bathroom to shower.

You really could care less if he was sweaty and smelly but you were just way too hot to hug anybody right now! You just needed to cool down for a few minutes.

You were sitting on the couch reading emails when he came back wanting to pull you to cuddle but you pulled back again.

"Are you mad at me or something amor?" he asked and you shook your head groaning that you were still too hot to even think straight.

"No cariño..I'm just hot!" you say closing the lap top and leaving to take a cold shower yourself hoping that would help. Pablo was left there pouting and watching some random game wishing you would just let him hug you anyways!

Even during the night, you refused to get too close sleeping in your panties and his old shirt still feeling so freaking hot. This summer was really a killer in Barcelona!

Since you knew you both needed physical contact to fall asleep you still held his hand but that's all the contact Pablo got and that wasn't what he wanted!

When he woke up the next morning, he rushed to lower the temperature so much so that you were woken up with a goosebumps all over your skin.

"Joder!" he heard rushing into the bedroom with a smug on his face while you were freaking out looking yourself fin the mirror.

"What's wrong mi amor??" he asked and you turned around with a worried face making him furrow his eyebrows.

"I think I am entering menopause amor! I was so hot yesterday and I'm too cold right now..and what if I can't have kids anymore!?" you were mumbling until Pablo bursted out in laughter.

"That's not funny cabrón! I wanted to be a mom!" you hit his shoulder quite hard but of course it didn't hurt at all and he grabbed your body pulling you close.

"And you will be in the future princesa.." he smirked and you rolled your eyes not thinking this was the time for him to be dirty.

"You're barely 20 years old amorcito, you're not entering menopause..I lowered the temperature in the apartment" he explained and you quickly calmed down now laughing at yourself realizing how absurd your conclusion was.

"Shut up! I was so scared! Cabrón! Why did you lower the temperature so much!?" you say and he chuckled kissing your head and pulling you even closer so that your hands were resting on his strong chest.

"So that you can hug me finally! And cuddle me! And sleep in my arms! I miss you amor!" he pouts and you giggle leaning in and kissing his lips lovingly giving him the biggest hug possible.

"Awe cariño..tu eres tan precioso!" you coo and he blushes while still hugging you refusing to let go.

"Menopause? Really amor!?" he teases and you both burst out in laugher while being in each other's embrace.

[marymary-diva17]

I read some of mo'at story's and it had me thinking of something i had in mind. So i don't know if you wanna make it into a mini series or not, it's still ok with me. My request is yn is jack sully sister but when they met Neytiri she could of sworn his sister remind her of her older sister. When it came to mo'at she heard but knew that eywa gave her a sign that her older daughter have return to her and can protect her that she couldn't long ago. But knew she will be in danger if they take her from mo'at, but as who she is she must help her people first. Only eywa know when she can see her again.

The navi believed that everyone had been born twice in their lives, once when they came into this world and the second time when they reach adulthood. So what happens when they think soon has been born a third time, someone that they have love that no longer about of this world has come back to them. Well that all seem to come true when dream walker had come to the forest once again, and one of them bring memoirs of the past for those who had been through alot of tragedy in their lives.

y/n " wow this place is beautiful" you are walking around the forest of pandora, you had come here to work on grace avatar team but you didn't come alone. You had come with your older brother Jake who was place on grace team, now the team was out doing some research.

Jake " you seem to be liking this place"

y/n " can't you see Jake this place is magical" Jake soon scoff and shake his head at you as you were looking at all the flowers.

grace " it seems like one of you has some intelligents in them"

Jake " haha very funny I forgot how to laugh" you laugh an shake your head at grace and Jake little fight going on, you soon started looking at the creatures roaming the forest.

y/n " .........."

grace " you okay there y/n"

y/n " yes I'm fine I have always wanted to come see pandora and now that, I'm here I wish not to leave" you had soon looked at grace giving her a smile, that made her stop dead in track.

y/n " umm grace are you okay"

grace " yes I'm good ... yes this place is amazing anyone can fall in love with this place" you soon nodded your head at grace and smiled brightly, when grace looked at you she was remind of someone from the past. You were soon with Jake watching him act like a child and finally warming up to pandora like you had done already. Everything was going well until it wasn't and soon enough trouble came in sign of Thanator. The sully siblings had ran away from the Thanator together.

Jake " are you okay"

y/n " yes I'm good what about you"

Jake " good as I can be come on we should get back to the others or base" Jake soon help you back onto your feet and once you two had finally collect your thoughts the sibling duo, soon head off together to find their way home. It seems like luck was no one their side as they ended up lost and finding trouble in pack of viper wolves. That soon lead them to meet neytiri.

y/n " we are sorry for the trouble that has come along with death, but thank you for helping my brother" neytiri soon looked at you as you had spoke navi well.

neytiri " y...you are welcome my your friend is a fool"

y/n " yes he is but he was just doing his best to keep us alive. but that didn't go to plan" neytiri was looking at you and gave you a soft smile.

Jake " so what do you do now"

neytiri " you two need to leave it not safe here and you two are not allowed here" neytiri had taken off after pointing the way home, but Jake being Jake didn't listen. He soon ran after her and you had ran after him. The tiro were running as you were watching your brother baldy flirt with neytiri and get hit and yelled at by her.

Jake " look I wish to thank you for saving us that all"

neytiri " you are a baby but she is smart" Jake sighed as the sibling soon followed after neytiri, which lead them to finding the clans scouts. it seems like they were looking at you like they saw a ghost, which made you feel confused. There was no time for questions when sully siblings had been dragged to home tree, and got to meet the rest pf the clan.

mo'at " what are your names"

Jake " I'm Jake sully a warrior from the jarhead clan" you look at your brother giving him the look, if he did something else dumb you were going to fight him.

mo'at " what of you ...." mo'at soon had looked at you and stopped speaking.

Y/n " I'm y/n ...." mo'at soon stood closer to you and was now examining you more then she had done your brother.

mo'at " she looks like her in her eyes"

neytiri " that what I thought mother she just like her but different"

eyuthan " that can't be true it has been so long this dreamwlaker cant be her and one of us"

y/n " with all respect but who are you all talking about and have I done something, to insult you all"

eyuthan " she speak our tongue so well"

neytiri " yes she does and I think she a healer like grace by her clothing, and how she cares herself"

Jake " what going on here"

mo'at " it seems like the great mother has send us a sign with these two, you say you saw the wood spirts land on this man and follow her"

neytiri " yes mother"

Jake " so what are they saying"

y/n " they are debating on lets us stay or send us away brother"

Jake " oh"

eyuthan " we will allow these dreamwalker to stay with us and learn from us, and maybe we can learn from them as well the warrior and healer" the people seem to agree with their olo'eythan statement, so it seems lie you and Jake had been given permission to stay. You had been assigned to work with mo'at while your brother was with neytiri and the other warriors.

weeks later

mo'at " you are doing well y/n"

y/n " thank you"

mo'at " your brother seems to be doing good as well"

y/n " thank you so much for allowed us to stay here"

mo'at " you are welcome ...."

y/n " mo'at if I may ask why do the people and even you look at me like you are all seeing a ghost" mo'at soon sighed she knew there keep me on more dodgy this question, as the people and her family were looking at you weird.

mo'at " you remind us of my elders daughter slywainn for some reason you just remind us of here .... we lost her at such a young age it seems like you and here are the same"

y/n " I'm sorry for you family lost and your clan lost ... I know how it feels like to grieve for a family member.... I and Jake lost our brother right before we came here and nothing has been the same"

mo'at " it seems like there is something we can bond over the grief of losing someone you love"

y/n " yes"

mo'at " I know you are not my daughter but you so much remind me of her I'm sorry for the ways I been looking at you"

y/n " you have nothing to be sorry about mo'at you are a mother who lost a child you have nothing to apologize for"

mo'at " thank you y/n sully but I hope I get to know you for yourself while you are here and maybe you and your brother can teach us something"

y/n " I will love to and I hope I can learn something from you all as well" It seems like everything was going well now as there was no tension, yes there was still going to be pain and grief for all the lives that had been lost and remembering the old memories. Now it was time to see what life had to offer everyone with making new memories, and see what else pandora had to offer everyone.

[lipglossanon]

okay look I know we do dark content here and it’s tasty and all.

but the least we can do is genuinely try to be respectful of others and that includes if they don’t like a certain ship (especially if it’s incest / pedophilic in nature). everyone reserves the right to be uncomfortable and state that because it might actually matter to them, but it might not matter to you. point is, this whole pro dark content shit just always veers into the end of “fuck you if you don’t like it haha” and I genuinely don’t appreciate your attitude of mocking people who dislike certain contents. Boundaries and nuance are a thing and you lack both. I’m just gonna ask you to practice kindness because I like the stuff you do and appreciate how you tag it so we don’t like we don’t read. But this goes to ALL people consuming dark content; try to use your brain and be a little more nuanced. Much love. See you.

Hello anon! This is kinda long so heads up lmao

I was gonna wait until I was in a better mindset to reply because I’m having a rough morning, but fuck it

Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one. If you don’t like my opinions, that’s cool. You don’t have to hang around. Promise I don’t mind.

If I find something funny, I’m gonna share it. Presuming this ask is in regards to the post I shared just a few minutes ago.

You’re right, people can dislike ships or themes or what have you. But I can also dislike how some of these people go about it.

It’s also my blog so I can post whatever the hell I want.

You wanna know why it usually veers off into ‘fuck you if you don’t like it’ because of people making blogs to stalk and harass dark content creators; dark content writers (one in particular I can think of very specifically) getting racist asks and death threats. People going out of their way to go into dark content spaces and then bitch about what they find.

Most of us are chill as hell and then when we fight back or voice our anger, we get hit with shit like this.

I’m going to be a little vain and say I’m one of the nicest people on this app; so for you to anonymously tell me to practice kindness when I’m still suffering repercussions from some asshole who fucking lied about my blog last year because I started writing dead dove?

You can GTFO pal.

[mamawasatesttube]

Hiii (sorry I know I've been sending a lot of asks lately please tell me to stop) I've reading your fanfics (? I don't know if that's the word) and I have to say I'm in love with how you write queer characters! (As a queer myself)

So I wanted to ask where does your headcanon of trans Tim come, because I've seen it a lot around the fandom but I've never found the reason

Anyway have a great day and have lots of kids!(it's supposed to be a way to send good luck? Ive never understood it, so don't take it seriously)

absolutely no need to apologize, i love asks and i love to talk ksjdhf!!! sometimes i take a bit to reply but thats just me being sleepytired all the time + wanting to actually ponder my response.

so to me trans tim comes from two main places: a) im queer so i just hit all of my favs with the queer stick like oprah giving out cars, but also more importantly b) i think tim's relationship with his dad and with masculinity as a role, as influenced by his relationship with his dad, are fascinating spaces to play in. some of my friends take this and run with it in the transfem tim direction and i totally see that and love it too!! while i'm a transmasc tim truther by default i think either way, the thing is just like . haha hey this guy overthinks about masculinity and the role he needs to play about it. He's Not Cis.

the funny part of that is chuck dixon definitely didn't mean for it to come off that way, but looking at things like tim getting antsy about guys at school not thinking he's a man's man enough because he "didn't have a car" and ari owned up to that, or tim faking not knowing how to fight in front of ari that time at the theater and hating that "his girl" had to watch him get beaten up, etc... he worries a lot about being masculine enough. this is probably some kind of insight into just one facet of the many things wrong with chuck dixon as a human being, but i like to take it as a far more fun and spicy insight into tim viewing gender as a role he has to play. to me it reads like he thinks being a boy/man means ticking a set of boxes correctly. and he does get some - he likes going to ball games, he's athletic and active, he's got guy friends like ives, girls like him - but others are things he has to try at. does he actually like going on fishing trips with his dad? does it actually matter if alfred wants him to dress as a woman? who is it actually affecting if ari says he doesn't have a car? is his prickliness around some of these things, perhaps, indicative of something going on in his weird little freak head?

this is why i love to write him as transmasc but genderfluid. its just that he does not realize the genderfluidity until he's an adult because he keeps telling himself "well i'm a guy and that means i tick THESE boxes and i do NOT tick THOSE ones" and ignoring any discomfort that causes him. it's all tied up in his mental picture of masculinity, which is all tied up with his feelings about his father. which are all tied up in his grief and guilt over jack's death. so he will not be unpacking this for a WHILE. but boy howdy is it fun to dissect!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 17 thoughts

this episode took a few days to work... and it built up the suspense! i tried to watch it on thursday- i was ready for my scullynmulder time- but it wouldn't play. and then i finally had time to try again yesterday, and it STILL wouldn't work.

(i had to go on reddit and learned that i needed to change a single number in a random string of code, because apparently a new firefox update just killed any ability to use hulu? the hoops i jump through for these two...)

but, i really enjoyed this episode! it had cute lil moments and then also some soul-crushing angst, which is the way i like it. so allow me to begin, and all of my note taking shall begin below!

YAYYYYY it’s scullynmulder time… my heart is so happy

so we open in a grocery store in virginia. it’s a nice looking grocery store. would browse there.

a guy is buying like a billion cans of stuff that has a muscle on it. and then a magazine with the freaky worm baby from s2 on it! haha a nice callback! again. shoutout to the props team <3

but then, the scene of tranquil grocery shopping was interrupted, as the guy with all the cans grabs the jacket of the guy in front of him- and it turns out the whole thing was a sting operation!!! guy who wanted his cans is referred to as “pusher”. the FBI has a TON of guys dealing with him. 5 cars full. wow! he must be very scary.

he’s in the back of the last car. and going on about this officer’s uniform color. 

he keeps saying cerulean over and over until somehow the guy driving the car stops seeing the big tractor trailer coming his way. and so when he drives straight ahead, he is immediately hit!!! is this some sort of hypnosis?

the intro was different again!! who do they think they are fooling by changing this?? not me!

mulder's office time. side note: it really is THEIR office as a collective. because we never see her at her desk. but anyway.

the police car’s driver died after hitting the tractor trailer that was magically invisible to him, but not before he unlocked the prisoner, pusher. pusher had confessed to contracted killings over two years that had been staged to look not like murders, if you catch my drift.

why would this otherwise great agent unlock this prisoner and also drive straight into a tractor trailer? a great question! one we can hopefully answer.

pusher had kept mumbling about cerulean until the driver ran into a truck for a business called cerulean. then he had written a clue at the scene of the crime! it says “nin or” which mulder flips backwards to read… ronin. ronin! i know that word!

mulder points out that this means a samurai without a master (nerd), and that this is the name of a… self defense magazine? so off to go read some magazines!

a young woman who we later learned is named holly brings them a big stack of the aforementioned magazines- maybe she's an archivist! maybe that should be my job!

she has a giant bruise on her face from getting mugged. mulder asks if they got whoever did this to her, and she says “do they ever? ….no offense” awww, holly, you're gonna make him sad. but seriously, poor girl, that is awful :(

she heads out, and scully is like, how did pusher do all of these killings? mulder says that he was probably utilizing the power of suggestion 

so they find an advertisement for someone “who solves problems” in all of the ronin magazines since 1994- which was when the murders started! a clue! with a phone number to go with it!

and in the ad were the letters OSU, which they thought meant ohio state but no! it’s a japanese word that means “to push”! gasp! it's definitely their guy!

(there was very conveniently a japanese to english dictionary on the shelf of the room where they were reading the magazines. i guess it's important to keep your language learning tools around in the FBI, but it was funny because all the other books looked like boring legal stuff)

they call the number, and it goes to a phone in virginia. mulder is in a car nearby and scully is there too, but she is sleeping. ON HIS SHOULDER!!!!

he lightly taps her face to wake her up and says “i think you drooled on me” and she quickly apologizes... NOOO DON’T BE MEAN TO HER!!! SHE’S SLEEPY 😭😭😭 awwwwww oh my HEART <3

(i need to scream real quick, because that was so precious. AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhHHHH)

((nah i'm never gonna move on from this actually. never never. the way he tapped her face.......... how she seemed so embarrassed.... the intimacy of falling asleep on someone's shoulder, how long he must have sat there trying not to make any sudden movements while still keeping his attention on the case........... i need to collect myself))

but then the phone rings back!!! they sprint sprint sprint and they pick it up… to someone asking if they are just going to sit there all night!!!! the pusher!!!

oh he’s creepy… he comments on how mulder “and his pretty partner seem awfully close”. now, is he invested in whatever the hell it is they have going on like i am (which is valid), or is he just a creep (less valid)? 

pusher seems to be a freak at least in some regards, saying that "they have to follow his breadcrumbs", and that the next one is right in front of mulder, who he keeps calling “g man”. he also says to let his fingers do the walking, which makes slim to no sense to me. 

but they figure that it means to call the last number on the pay phone, and it reaches a golf course! they hold the phone up so they both can hear the message and it’s so CUTE AWWW

mulder calls her “g-woman” as they leave <- STOP I’M GONNA SCREAM!!!

off to the golf course. where pusher is golfing with a very beat up face from the accident. he spots snipers hiding in the grass, mumbles that it is “about time”, and tries to get out. 

they have him cornered!!! but when he tells the dude with the gun on him to relax, he really does. and when pusher tells him to show him his face, he does. he knows the guy by name?!?

pusher tells this collins fellow to pour a ton of gasoline, which he does while crying. collins screams at the agents to stop him as he flicks on a lighter, but scully is fast and grabs a fire extinguisher, and mulder uses his jacket to induce a sort of stop drop and roll maneuver. huh, they really do work so well together!

a car horn is blaring, so mulder goes to see what is going on and it’s… a dude with his head on the horn. he says “bet you five bucks i get off”… it’s pusher! he was mumbling as if he was remotely controlling the dude who lit the flame... okay, weird.

mulder at da court. he is fidgeting as they question him about this pusher fellow and his 14 murders. mulder explains that he thinks pusher can talk his way into his victims hurting themselves, which is by far not the most outlandish thing we’ve heard on this television program, but the people in the court act like this is akin to spotting a unicorn, and scoff at mulder for proposing such a bizarre idea.

(usually i agree that mulder's ideas are bizarre, but this one seems entirely possible to me, with or without mind control. people can be talked into doing all sorts of things. mulder i am on your side and would not laugh at you like these fakes)

AND pusher had called and confessed to 14 murders, but his defense tries to write it off as a drunk prank call. while this is the most absurd thing we (both the viewer and the characters in court) have ever heard, and surely no one would ever believe it, pusher uses his mind power skills to get into the judge’s brain and make him be declared innocent.

pusher walks up to mulder and says he owes him five dollars. this dude majorly sucks.

cutscene to mulder practicing his aim. it’s pretty good!! he must be really unsettled by this whole situation to work on his marksmanship.

scully comes in (with the ear protection things on so mulder's firing doesn't blast her ears <3 queen of precautions) with more information on this pusher fellow. mulder starts reciting all the things he can guess about the pusher’s life, from his college to his military service to which branch and i'm thinking man, did he study up on this? is he that unsettled by this case? but ohhh yeah, mulder does profiling, seemingly very successfully.

but he didn’t know that the pusher applied to the FBI!!! and had flopped at the psych evaluation, where he had been ego-centric and lied and claimed to be trained by ninjas. mulder seems to think this could be true, but i don’t know if he knows the ninja lore and that they were not as historically common as media would make you think 💔

luckily, scully doesn't break this terrible news to him. man, this reminds me i need to get a good translation of the kojiki and the nihon shoki

(at this point i did a bit of a wikipedia rabbit hole into japanese medieval literature before remembering the plot at hand. focus!)

mulder says that they should have had enough evidence to at least get him in custody, and that the pusher “put the whammy” on the judge. to which scully deadpans “please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy” <- HDHEJSNWJSKDMND i love her sooooo terribly. 

mulder is still thinking this guy was a ninja, but scully points out that if he could control people’s minds, why wouldn’t he be an FBI agent like he wanted? a very good point! well, maybe it’s a new skill, mulder posits.

he seems very frustrated that scully isn’t buying his mind control theory, but she makes it very clear she believes he is guilty of murder!!! they just need to figure out what went down. queen of communicating her logic. she won’t communicate her feelings though, but that's okay we can work on that in the future.

pusher at da FBI. writes himself a note that says “pass” and sticks it in his lapel, goes in and asks for computer records. the guard immediately gives it to him. and he waltzes in! 

no!! the poor girl with the bruised face from before, holly!!! he starts talking to her, and she gives him the keyboard to her super secret FBI computer. he asks for printouts and says he wants to hurt whoever did that to her face. hmm. well, maybe a little revenge on her behalf wouldn’t hurt...

but skinner is here! he heard an unfamiliar voice and walks in, asking if he can help this strange fellow. skinner realizes that he is up to no good, and grabs him, but the pusher convinces holly that skinner is the guy who mugged her!!! so she busts out her mace the minute that skinner manages to call for security and starts KICKING HIM??

things escalated very quickly there.

holly is in his office, apologizing profusely to skinner and whole bunch of other people for kicking the hell out of his face. scully is there too. okayyyyy, she’s moving up in the world, helping out when skinner gets attacked!!!! she is very calm about the whole thing though, which makes her a great choice, so she deserves it.

holly says that it was like the pusher was in her head, and she was watching herself do the things she did. creepy...

she’s crying, and skinner doesn’t honestly seem too mad about the whole thing. i would be very mad if one of my employees let a random guy have access to secret files and then pepper sprayed and kicked me, but clearly he understands something was afoot.

OH! scully agrees that it is the pusher’s persuasive powers that made holly attack him, even if she can’t explain why it is he can do that! wow! the evidence is undeniable, even if it is inexplicable!

the pusher left with mulder’s file… so now he knows where he lives. so they should have a sleepover at her place!!! and watch movies!!! <3 before they catch him ofc, because now that he was trespassing, they have him on hook for a crime

(sadly, i must report that no sleepover took place. but it would be nice to imagine that it did)

they go to the pusher's apartment to try and find him, and scully announces before she turns the lights on. okayyyy! giving everyone a warning.

something about her with a trench coat and a gun in investigation mode makes my stomach do flips. we don't have to unpack that right now. i just was very aware that it happened.

he left a movie on the tv, that scully immediately identified as svengali. hold on let me google something. okay, that is a book/movie about guy that uses mind control. fitting. a clue, perhaps…

and is she watching horror films on the regular to be able to identify the film after seeing like three frames….? love that for her <3

(wait, she did say before that the exorcist was one of her favorite movies! so this further proves that she is going to be seated for a spooky film <3)

mulder opens his fridge to find a million and a half of those protein cans from before. you think those are giving him psychic powers? hmm…

oh!!! scully found something in his cabinet: epilepsy medication!!! a clue, perhaps? i’m just gonna keep saying that about anything they find. so that means they know more about him, and that he will need medication, which could be a way to try and find him, because he’ll need to get more at some point probably… AND HE STARTED TAKING THE PILLS AT THE SAME TIME THE MURDERS STARTED!

mulder asks what can cause epilepsy late in life. her answers: head injury, neurological disease, a tumor…

mulder perks up because he thinks a tumor might give you psychic powers. which would be a bright side to an otherwise very dismal situation, i’m sure. 

she says that if he had a brain tumor, he would not be well enough to do all of these shenanigans- a very valid point. mulder responds with: maybe he isn’t well at all!! he was too tired to escape at the driving range, after all, and he had confessed to murders he had gotten away with… maybe he wants to go out in a blaze of glory!

huh. bold theory.

phone rings as this theory is proposed. and the pusher is in fact on the phone. he asks for mulder and scully, who are sitting next to each other on a bed with their heads close, listening in. it’s endearing. 

anyway, the pusher is going on and on with the dude on the phone named frank, saying he looks super unhealthy, and i get that they are trying to trace the call, but they also should know by now to not listen to a damn thing he says because of the mind control. but again, he could be offering a clue, so someone has to listen. agh! such a conundrum.

mulder says to hang up the phone, right as the pusher talks frank into having some sort of medical condition where his blood thickens (gag. gag gag gag bleurghhhh). mulder and scully are trying to get him to hang up the phone but he won’t, he keeps listening so they can get a trace on the call!! and then frank is dead.

scully’s trying to save his life, but mulder picks up the phone. the pusher says that he wants a real adversary, and he’s read up on mulder, who he deems worthy. okay just ignore scully at your own peril i guess...

scully realizes she can’t save frank :( and mulder is mad because he killed this dude for nothing!! but he says no no, all these people die by themselves. 

they trace him to near a hospital, where he must be getting regular treatment for his condition. they find his car outside. and he’s scheduled for an MRI.

mulder says he should go in by himself, so that no one else gets hurt. a bold choice...

he gets all suited up with a camera and some fancy equipment to go in, then he gives scully his gun, so he won’t shoot anyone even if the pusher uses his mind games on him. and then they hold hands for a second. and look into each other’s eyes. and i will sob like a baby. 

mulder is going into the hospital. scully is watching all of this from his fancy camera. the og live stream. 

we hear two shots fired; the pusher made the guard shoot the technician and then himself. scully sees the monitor and asks mulder to get closer. and he does indeed have a tumor…. and is dying, so he has nothing to lose. which makes him even scarier!

scully is begging him to get out of there. but he turns and scully sees from the camera the pusher holding him at gun point!!! she yells “god!” and then runs into action. oh you know it’s serious when the catholic is yelling the name of the lord as an exclamation….

scully putting on a bullet proof vest to go in there and save him😳oh wow… i am learning so much about myself

she goes in, tells the SWAT team to wait for a signal. everything is very very very tense as she makes her way into the hospital. so slowly. she finally comes to the right door, and pushes it open.

mulder is seated with the pusher in the room of a patient, while the two stare at each other. they’re both very sweaty, and pusher has a gun in his hand. the pusher is going on about martial arts and a fight to the death and stuff. he gives mulder the gun and says to pull the trigger, one pull with a one in six chance to kill him.

scully is suspicious because they are, again, in a hospital, which has pure oxygen, and who knows what could happen if he pulls the trigger? but despite her very logical warning, he does pull the trigger, right away, and nothing happens. 

but the pusher talks mulder into putting the gun against his own head. she is begging him not to do it, to listen to her, to get out of there together, and everything will be okay.

and despite scully’s best efforts, he DOES pull the trigger. no bullet this time, but she is FREAKING OUT that he did that. she yells, and that yell will probably haunt me forever, how furious and terrified she sounded to watch him do such a horrific thing.

and then he turns the gun on HER, she’s crying, telling him to fight this. terrified she's about to die at his hands.

(oh my gosh, i really hope he’s faking the mind control working on him, so he can turn the gun on the pusher at the last minute)

the pusher mentions that SHE SHOT HIM, he read it in his files, “PAYBACK TIME, SHOOT THE LITTLE SPY” <- OMFG???? this escalated SOSOSOSOSO fast????

he tells scully to RUN while he still has the gun pointed at her, but then once she gets out and pulls the fire alarm, mulder shoots him!!!!! he keeps clicking the gun over and over at him despite it being empty. and he looks so tired, handing the gun over to scully, holding his head in his hands. 

man, he must have been horrified, to have someone in his mind, making him try to hurt himself and hurt scully, watching her scream at him after he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, watching her cry as the gun was pointed at her, fighting for access to his own mind... and after he had left his gun with her, just to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone, he found himself in this situation...... how he kept firing even after the single bullet had been shot, just to ensure that no one else would be hurt..... woah. there is a lot to unpack here about the lack of agency and losing loved ones and mulder's deepest fears.... i will be gnawing on this in my head for a while...

so, the pusher is on a ventilation system, and mulder is watching. scully enters and says he will never regain consciousness. apparently, he had been refusing treatment, refused to have the tumor removed even though it was possible. mulder says that it’s like she had proposed, he was a little man, and this finally made him feel big.

they linger long enough for me to wonder if they’re actually going to kiss, right in front of this comatose murderer, but she does something just as intimate: grabs his hand and says to not let this dude take up another minute of their time. we end with mulder taking one last look and leaving the room.

oh, this episode was GOOD. REALLY GOOD. the suspense was killer, the mind games were trippy, and these two. these two.

scully falling asleep on his shoulder? the fluff of an indulgent fanfic writer. but it REALLY HAPPENED. them holding their heads close multiple times to listen to the phone... the hand grab at the end. listening and trusting each other's wild theories.

this episode showed how well they work as a team, and it made me so happy. it felt in very sharp contrast to a few episodes before where they were not working together at all. and i get that was cosmic opposite day, but still, this episode and their dynamic felt so right.

and then at the end, the level of angst was unexpected. and honestly, they go through a LOT on this show, but scully seeing him held at gunpoint and then watching him pull the trigger on his own head made me lose my MIND. how she begged him to stop, pleaded and yelled, how she cried as he pointed the gun on her, him using every ounce of energy he had to try and resist mind control to keep her safe. and the minute she is away, he unloads the gun into the pusher, again and again and again despite knowing it was empty, just to be sure no other bullets could hurt anyone else. how exhausted he was when he sat down at the end, his head in his hands; how he watched him in his comatose state until scully told him they should leave.

(insert prolonged muffled screaming as a way to comprehend the feelings i am experiencing)

and a massive shoutout to skinner for showing up for 5 minutes, realizing there was a problem, addressing the problem, and not being too mad when the girl in the computer department beat his ass because he was sympathetic to her mind control quandary. really a solid fellow. skinner, you and i have had our disagreements in the past, but i have come to see you as a friend. now, do i trust him fully? no. but can he come to a birthday party? yeah <3

wow. just wow. a really great episode. definitely making it onto the best episodes list! i'm trying to make a mental list of all the ones that stick out as the most enjoyable, especially the ones that are single episodes rather than the larger two or three part ones, and this is a contender surely.

"please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy"... how could you not love her?

[veggiesforpresident]

What would jally do in the long-term considering it’s the 60s? (If they lived ofcofc)

jeanie you are feeding my soul with these questions <3

So! I think the answer to this changes slightly depending on how they lived. also, I had fun doing some historical research for this ask, haha, so the sources will be linked as they come up.

1. Its a "The Outsiders didn't happen and everything continued as normal" AU

- They either are already together or get together soon

- They'd take coupley photos in a photobooth since it was one of the only ways they could be coupley in public

- Since they're both poor and basically homeless, I think it would make sense for them to move into a shitty apartment together once they either finish high school or drop out. No one would really question this when they're young either.

Also, greasers, the Curtis gang especially, are generally more affectionate with each other than the stereotypical macho man of that time. especially with how queer cowboys were historically, and how much the greasers love (the idea of) cowboys, I think johnny and dally would be able to sit together or have an arm over a shoulder at the drive-in and people wouldn't really bat an eye.

- However, I think there's value to put on like... Being closeted intentionally. I know Dally hates cheating and loyalty is a big thing for him, but that also includes bending the rules for the people he's most loyal too. I think he'd still hit on girls or kiss them/have brief flings, but not commit to them because, of course, he's going home to Johnny. He would "give up on women" in his mid-20s, although like... just look at him, a guy with a criminal record as long as his arm, who has a bad misogynist streak and prison tats? Yeah, people aren't really surprised he never gets (legally) married.

Johnny though... A sensitive, thoughtful guy who's never really angry at anyone? But still rough enough to be considered a bit of a "bad boy"? Oh the girls would be swarming him in their 20s and 30s, especially if he goes to visit Ponyboy at college ever. Johnny would be a heartbreaker.

- on that note, johnny is someone who, to me, reads as Gay, unlike dally who can fly under the radar, and this makes him a bit of a target. Tim or maybe Bryon has probably heckled him over it a few times. Johnny has a mouth on him when he needs to, and he is a greaser after all so it's never too bad. but there are definitely some incidents where he gets questioned or beat up over it (though it's not really any worse than a typical Soc beating, so...). but this provides another argument for them being closeted.

- I don't think Tulsa had much of a gay community, no gay bars, just individual people more or less. But they'd still be close with the gang so it wouldn't matter as much.

- Speaking of the gang, their relationship would eventually become something of an open secret. I think Two would figure something out, probably around when Dally "gives up on women" and maybe he talk to Darry about it ('cause god knows Darry needed someone to talk to about Ponyboy and his... softness, whether Pony winds up gay or not.). I think it would be funny if Soda remained an oblivious straight guy about it until Darry has to pull him aside to say something.

- They wouldn't really be affected by AIDS in the 80s. Like, they'd hear about it and it'd be upsetting to them, but not personally affected - they're not hooking up with anyone else by that point, they don't know many other gay people... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

2. Its a "The Outsiders still happened they just didn't die at the end" AU

- a lot of similarities, but Johnny is paralyzed and a wheelchair user by the end. This would change their dynamic a bit, maybe delay them getting together for real because Johnny now has to deal with this enormous change and it's emotional repercussions first.

- that said, i actually think this would make their relationship stronger because they'd have to navigate this change together and dally would have to learn how to be patient with johnny to a degree he never was before, which would make or break any relationship. (in thsi case, makes it.)

- also, people would question their relationship less because of course poor "wheelchair bound" johnny would need a caretaker (heavy sarcasm here is intended). that said "caretaker" the toughest hood on the block is well... he's like johnny's guard dog, right?

- dally would have the same kinda job regardless of the timeline - janitor, line cook, autoshop, that sort of thing. but in the disabled!au timeline i think he'd have chronic pain from getting shot but not dying. since hes now unable to run from the cops, he'd have to find something else to do with his time, ie finishing high school and/or getting a job. they gotta make rent somehow! especially if johnny struggles to find work or go to school.

- finally, i think nondisabled!johnny would be an EMT or firefighter or something else emergency-related, but that's not an option for disabled!johnny so he'd be a teacher or guidance counselor or therapist. (he'd work a lot with war vets i think and be able to connect with them on a way other (female) therapists couldnt). in the meantime if he can get a job he'd work odd jobs as a cashier, cleaner, retail.

anyway! hahah there's your essay and history lesson for the day! thank you again for the ask!!

[les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thanks for the tag, @wheel-of-fish ! I’ll do my best not to sound silly here, but I am trying to get back in the saddle of writing again and this felt nice to do as encouragement.

How many works do you have on AO3?

A mere seven stories! I am absolutely pretending the FFN account I had twenty years ago does not exist anymore. (It does.)

What's your total AO3 word count?

161, 882

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

The Fly Agaric

Between the Lines

All Imaginable Pangs

Le Phénomène

All That is Solid Melts Into Air (this fic will haunt me until I die.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try as much as I can to; I’ve honestly fallen behind this year, since I’ve been on hiatus for medical/mental health issues, but if you see me replying to your comment from a while back in the near future… I am so so sorry, but please know that I am SO deeply appreciative of every single comment that gets left on my stories.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Between the Lines! This one is a Leroux-canon insert that happens during the two weeks Christine is trapped in Erik’s house, and within the context of the fic, it ends badly, and within the greater context of the book… well! You know how it ends. It’s funny, because that was the first fan fic I wrote as an adult trying to get back into fandom after 15+ years of pretending I had moved on from it (spoiler: i did not.) and now I cannot bring myself to write dark endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Most likely Le Phénomène. This was written for fluff week and was a massive excuse to have Leroux E/C have sex during a rainstorm without having to worry too much about the plot lol. What can more i say.

Do you write crossovers?

I have! It’s The Follies! And I’m quite proud of it, but it gets zero hits haha, because it’s a Venn diagram of an already small fandom (Phantom) and an incredibly niche one (my favorite musical, Sunday in the Park with George, which is also set in early 1880s Paris and about a troubled artist/muse affair—which, if you’ve never seen it, GO NOW! The proshot is widely available and it’s life changing.). If you’ve ever wanted to see Erik get drunk with Bernadette Peters, then have I got a story for you.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

For the most part, no. I have had a couple of random people who don’t like what I’ll call “hate sex” blast me for writing Erik and Christine having it because, idk their love is pure or something, but that’s mostly it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I don’t know if I write smut for the sake of smut (save for the one fluff piece), but I love writing emotional, atmospheric sex into my stories—sex that deepens how characters relate to each other and who they are as a person; people are allowed to have their own interpretations, but for me, sex is such a massive underpinning of most versions of the story and also a big part of my own life’s journey, and I just find it fascinating to write. I don’t know if people find my writing hot though, because things tend to inevitably get a little weird.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not since high school, and most of it was written to troll lol. I think now I’m just too picky and slow and set in my ways for anyone to want to collaborate with me, hahah.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Erik and Christine forever. It just is what it is, folks. Their dynamic is so specific and strange and fascinating and I will never get tired of exploring it/reading it/drawing it/writing it etc. Every other ship I love is basically just another iteration of them.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

There’s this Kay!verse horror story (with a happy ending because I’m me) that I started writing; it’s inspired by the myth of La Llorona and takes place during the weekend adult Erik returns to Boscherville to burn his mother’s house down. I really WANT to write it, but I have a story I need to finish first. I also seldom write horror and had to put it on pause because the particular subject matter of this one did not help my mental state lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel so silly writing this out about myself, hahah. If I have to say, I am particularly proud of my characterizations, my prose, and the thematic arcs I try to put into every story I write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Oh, god. Plot. Like anything that isn’t angsting, fucking, or fighting is SO hard for me to write. (Hint: call everything a “character piece” and you never have to explain why nothing happens in your writing lmao). Looooong ass sentences. I’m incredibly slow at writing, terrible at outlining, and I second guess myself with every sentence. Someone once told me to my face that my fic writing was purple prose and I guess that still haunts me a bit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For the most part, I think it’s a bad idea. Unless you have a genuine handle on the other language, I think you’re better off implying that said language is being spoken through other means. It otherwise usually just reads as really cringey to me, like “Woohoo I ran this through google translate”—especially in smut. A couple of words here and there are fine, especially if there is a word that doesn’t have a 1:1 in the primary language, but something about a bunch of Google translate sentences being pasted into the middle of a story takes me out entirely. Just my preference though, especially when it comes to my own writing; I’m not Tolstoy. I’m not Nabokov. I’m not gonna try. Anyway, end tangent.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I’d say Pharoga, but my current WIP leans into that ship on and off. I really, really want to writeErik and Meg. One day. Or Raoul/Madame Giry

What's your favorite fic you've written?

It’s really hard to say tbh—the process of writing every one of my stories (including Tubeman Rik) has taught me so much about myself as a writer and person. But it’s a split between The Fly Agaric and All Imaginable Pangs. The former was basically the fic I’d been wanting to read and struggling to write for twenty years, and I put so much of myself and my own life experiences into it that it feels incredible to have finally laid it all out and gotten it on paper, even if I worry that I now have nothing else to say about Christine and Erik, haha. But there is something about All Imaginable Pangs that made it so fun to write—I love the challenge of crafting an OC who makes sense in Erik’s past, I LOOOOOVE thinking about the period of Erik’s life where he was trying to live as normal person, before he was jaded enough to become a mole person, and I love that period of time in art and history. It’s been so fun to sit in that world. I expected no one to read it, because I realize that OCs are a very hard sell in this fandom, but I just wanted to create a POV character who was closer in age to me, who’d been dealt a lot of luxury and a lot of shit thrown her way, who also has gray hair and soft thighs lol. That it has gotten any comments, let alone some of the seriously incredible feedback I’ve received across platforms, surprises and delights me. I can’t say whether or not Augustine is a success in terms of a believable original love interest, let alone person, but I like her enough that I’m (slowly) re-writing the whole story from Erik’s point of view.

Well. That was a lot of chatter. I apologize if any of this comes off as pretentious, but I’ve taken such a long hiatus from writing fic and this was a nice little jab in the arm to finish. I’ve had to take a lot of time away from fandom for health reasons, but I’m doing so much better and (i think) finally getting back in the swing of things. If you’ve ever so much as read one of my fics, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Tagging @box5intern @ladystormcrow @flora-gray @muirin007 @antiquarianne . My apologies if you’ve already been tagged.

[arliedraws]

Rewatching the PoA movie as I do chores, and I gotta pause while I’m thinking about this.

People who know me even slightly understand that this is my least favorite HP movie. In my opinion, it totally misses the point of the book and tries to simply hit plot points without understand what ties them all together.

If this is YOUR movie and you LOVE IT, this post is NOT for you! Save yourself some grief and don’t click the ‘read more’ below.

Here’s what the film does right:

- Wise/playful Sirius. We get a wink and nice touchy moment with Harry, and I see a glimpse of the Sirius I love here. This is good! The quiet moments with Gary Oldman is Sirius are VERY good. As time goes on, I am much more confident that Oldman would’ve made a very good Sirius given the opportunity. That intimate scene with Harry and Sirius at the end is a good cinematic interpretation of the internal longing Harry expresses to the reader.

Okay, that’s it. That’s all I like.

Nitpicky bits:

- The editing is just. Weird. We see ONE dinner scene with Marge and it seems like Harry just blows up one night (or blows her up lol) as if he’s just got a short fuse. Harry is a quiet person. He watches, he listens, he puts up with shit until he breaks. This scene needed to be longer, it needed to have more tension. We needed to understand the deal between Uncle Vernon and Harry + signing the permission form for Hogsmeade. One way this could have been shot with Harry at the table with everyone and slooooooow down the conversation. Build the tension. Close-ups, shots of Harry trying to pretend he doesn’t hear her. The book scene is very tense because Harry is quiet as they are talking about him as if he’s not there. THEN, he quietly speaks, drawing their attention.

- Don’t get me started on the Firebolt scene.

- Sirius saying when Remus is transforming “OH NO HE DIDN’T TAKE HIS POTION” as if Remus regularly took Wolfsbane back in the day? And then Sirius pleading with Remus not to transform??? Like Sirius, I think you know werewolves don’t work like that.

- I hate the werewolf design. It doesn’t HAVE to look like the wolf in canon (which is nearly indistinguishable from a regular wolf), but damn, it just didn’t do it for me.

- When Harry sees Peter on the Map??? Dude that was so dumb.

- The scene with the animal noises? Why? I don’t care about the other boys in Gryffindor. Show me why the trio are close other than out of loyalty (something that the books honestly miss out on)

- Remus being so upfront with Harry that he knew his parents and then focussing on LILY??? And also, part of what we learn over time in the book is that Remus knew James but refuses to indulge Harry. He keeps all of that secret—the mystery of Remus is completely wasted in this movie. I would have personally played this up in the film. Build him up as the “cool” professor who holds back emotionally. The payoff when he shows up at the end at the Shrieking Shack would be like, “Oh shit! I knew there was something off about him!” when it seems like he’s helping Sirius. Then, he would have to earn back the audience’s trust just like he does with the trio.

- The Aesthetic: this movie relies on aesthetic so much more than “what makes sense narratively.” There is so much winking at the audience by the filmmakers it drives me bonkers. Anytime something weird happens, they’re like, “Haha this weird thing is NORMAL in the wizarding world! Look at how weird it is! But for them! It’s normal!” Like jfc we get it. I know the first two movies are like, “look at how beautiful magic and cool is” but GOD. This is the film where we need magic to be “normalized.” We get it. We’re three films in. This is a magical world. These cheesy, winking-at-the-camera moments aren’t even like…cute or fun. They’re boring and uncreative. “Oh, how about a maid opens a door and a monster screams at her and she’s bland about it.” Like. Is it supposed to be funny? Because…it’s boring.

When you’re focused on Vibes rather than Character, everyone turns into a cheap, bland caricature. The filmmakers do NOT understand who the characters are. Even in Sorcerer’s Stone, Ron is the comic relief but we understand that he is fiercely loyal. In PoA, he is pure comic relief. They don’t even understand Harry. Both his and Ron’s lines are given to Hermione in the Shack scene which is like…why????

But this is the problem. At the heart of every scene, it was as if the filmmakers didn’t understand why the scene was there. In the film, Harry is an angsty teenager and things happen TO him. Oh sure, they want to show that Harry feels something but…we don’t really, as an audience, FEEL it. They TRY to force that emotional tension by rushing events along and then showing Harry crying sometimes and yelling his feelings. yawn, honestly.

- There is SO MUCH SHOUTING in this film. Harry screams about killing Sirius when he hears the Minister/McGonagall/Rosmerta talking about the betrayal. This was so…poorly done. This boy needs to close himself off from his friends and stew in his hatred, not scream about it. We need to be angry with him, not feel sad for him. We need to want to kill Sirius too.

HOW THEY SHOULD’VE DONE THE BETRAYAL EXPLANATION SCENE:

Look, it would’ve been a boring movie scene if they’d done it like the book. This is not an adaptation-friendly book, and I’ll be the first to admit it. BUT. What they could have done was this: use flashbacks and montages. They do it in Sorcerer’s Stone when Hagrid explains how the Potters died and it’s effective—you see Lily panicking, dying, and then you see cute little Harry with a wand in his face. That’s emotional!

This scene in The Three Broomsticks should have been a flashback with voiceover from Fudge/McGonagall/Rosmerta/Hagrid. It should have shown us Sirius and James being best friends at Hogwarts. With them, we could see Peter and Remus (who we wouldn’t know was Lupin). Then, we should have seen Hagrid arguing with Sirius about who gets Harry (the little devil in me wants to hear Sirius’s voice break, but also, we should feel like Sirius is going to harm the baby Harry). Thennnnnnn we should have seen what the Muggle witnesses saw — Peter crying that Sirius betrayed Lily and James, a misleading explosion, and then Sirius laughing. Thennnnn a close-up of Peter’s finger. Back to present.

Why is this effective and why would it build tension? As the audience, we need to be presented with proof that Sirius is a bad guy. We need to understand why this guy’s gotta be caught!

Also, show us how scary Sirius is by reeeaaaallly playing it up with a scene with the Minister in Azkaban—quiet, sinister Sirius please. Again, give us the tension! (Sirius acting all crazy in the wanted posters instead of the book’s slow blinking, empty-eyed prisoner totally misses the mark for me.) Then, show us him sleeping and talking in his sleep.

This would have been effective becaaaaaaause you could have brought back this flashback in the Shrieking Shack scene.

Which brings me to: The Shrieking Shack scene.

The most disappointing part of the film, in my opinion.

This is supposed to be it—the built-up tension (which never actually happens) finally explodes here. But the movie holds no tension so this scene is reduced to a lot of yelling in the movie. And of course Hermione taking everyone’s lines for some reason.

As as audience, we can’t just be scared. We should be angry. Sirius needs to be quiet, softer. He’s lured Harry away from safety by kidnapping his friend. He needs to be grinning, taunting Harry (I mean, he’s not, but it sounds like it). We need to feel like Sirius is just fucking AWFUL. Sirius MUST compare Harry and Ron to James and himself. Stretch this out like a rubber band until it snaps—until Harry snaps. GOD THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A JUICY SCENE.

The explanation should have been all voiceover—Remus explaining what happened over shots of the Marauders’ time at Hogwarts. Otherwise, it’s weird that we don’t have an explanation of the Marauders…at all??

When Sirius explains what really happened November 1st, we would see shots that the original flashback didn’t show (Peter looking miffed/jealous/“suspicious” behind everyone’s backs, Peter becoming Secret Keeper, a shady glimpse Peter kneeling before a faceless Voldemort or some shit, and then finally—the missing shots from the explosion in the flashback from earlier in the film.) Then, let’s see Sirius wasting away in Azkaban, growing older and older. Give us the EMOTIONAL WEIGHT. Then, Sirius’s voice breaks and we cut back to the present. We see the trio fighting with their own interpretations with close-ups.

(I also wanna see Sirius seeing the photograph of Pettigrew when he’s explaining how he knew Peter was alive.)

Also, also. Peter needs to be the Gollum of this film. Gives us watery eyes, precious. There has to be a reason he isn’t dead, and it’s because he’s so pathetic, no one can kill him. As an audience, we need to be like, “GOD, he is SO PATHETIC and defenseless!” The idea of killing Peter should be like killing a really ugly puppy. Like…ughhhh, I just can’t do it! Show us why Harry saves him. We need to see gross begging, manipulative sobbing, and completely emotionless Sirius and Remus, watching and getting ready to kill him.

Why does the film miss the mark? Because it’s about friendship, and the filmmakers had no idea.

The subplot of the book is seemingly Hermione and Ron being on the outs because of Crookshanks and Scabbers, but like Peter does with the Marauders during the war, Scabbers drives a wedge between the trio. He seems so innocent and we think CROOKSHANKS is the problem, but it’s the quiet spy. (Sure, Hermione was a dick about her cat and if Scabbers hadn’t been Peter, it would’ve been different—I get that. Not excusing Hermione. But stick with me). Up until now, the trio’s friendship hasn’t been tested by personal problems, and now, we see how Harry and Ron respond to a challenging situation with a friend.

Which. I don’t think that’s the subplot. I think this is the crux of this book.

Harry and Ron fail very hard at friendship in this story. They fail Hermione who, while extremely flawed and misguided, has good intentions. Harry treats her with indifference and then ignores her; Ron treats her with outright antagonism. They fail Hagrid miserably when it comes to Buckbeak, and we find out that Hermione has been doing her best to help Hagrid despite being rejected by Harry and Ron. And this is important to the overall situation with Sirius Black because before we find out the truth, we think Sirius was a bad friend.

Okay, let me talk about the Firebolt now because the Firebolt was never really about Sirius.

The Firebolt plot was so crucial to the story that it’s outrageous they cut this out of the movie. (But the filmmakers had no idea PoA was about friendship so I guess whatever.) When Harry loses his Nimbus to the Whomping Willow, he expresses that it “felt like he had lost a friend” so when he gets a new broom that he really wants, he’s willing to sacrifice his true, human friend for it. He rejects Hermione because she told on him to McGonagall to keep him safe—not her best move but honestly, if Sirius had really wanted to kill Harry, it would have been very easy for him.

When you are making an adaptation of a book, you must ask essential questions. What is the POINT of this film? What is the lesson we are showing? Every part of that film should be building up to demonstrate that point. Trying to hit every plot point without knowing why is so lazy. “I want to make a Harry Potter film—but the tone has changed. It’s DARK now. You gotta know—he’s an ANGSTY TEEN!” Yeah, that does nothing for me, dude.

Harry’s willingness to sacrifice himself for his friends in the Shack is supposed to show that he is capable of growth and that friendship/love should come before all else. You need to be able to forgive (Snape subplot/Hermione subplot), and you should be willing to set aside petty quarrels/greed for your friends (Firebolt subplot/Peter subplot). Sure, the plot is that “a murderer breaks out of prison and wants to kill Harry Potter” but it’s not what the film is ABOUT.

If Sorcerer’s Stone is about making friends and building a friendship, Prisoner of Azkaban asks the question, “What happens when the honeymoon is over? What happens when my friends reveal glaring flaws? What happens when those flaws affect ME?”

Anyway, I really tried to give this movie another chance (I’ve seen it about 6-7 times since it came out), and it STILL does not do it for me. I’ve come around to Gary Oldman as Sirius (but not when he’s yelling or hysterical—does he EVER yell in the books?), but that’s it.