#the way he treated meng yao...

[borealing]

part of the reason i love meng yao so much is that he was never given an easy decision in his entire life and no matter what he chose to do it always ended up being the wrong one in the long term.

[khattikeri]

drives me nuts when people treat jin guangyao or wei wuxian like they're socialist revolutionaries like no! they're not!! in fact their respective roles in society and complacency regarding its hierarchies is why ANY of the story even happens to begin with!!!

jin guangyao doesn't hold bitterness just because he was born lower class. he is bitter because others deride him and his prostitute mother in spite of both their intelligence, skills, and efforts to climb the ladder.

why do you think we were shown scenes of other prostitutes in the brothel deriding meng shi for being literate, for "trying" so hard? why do you think we were shown scenes of anxin taunting meng yao and throwing shit at him because he was trying to learn cultivation at his mother's behest?

why do you think jin guangyao arranged for the arson of that brothel, burned to the ground with everyone except sisi inside? that's not the behavior of someone who believes in true equality and the inherent worth of sex workers as human beings!

that's the behavior of someone who thinks he's better than them. the behavior of a man who already came up on top through political games and war crimes, backstabbing and spying for the sake of the "greater good".

i won't rehash his argument to nie mingjue that he didn't have a choice-- he had some choice, but no matter what he does his class will come up and people will always assume the worst and try to hurt him for it, which forces his hand to do whatever will protect him best (hence 'no choice').

jin guangyao did everything he could to secure his own safety and a place among those already higher up. and by that point, he'd won it.

the fact that the temple rebuilt on the brothel site is to guanyin, the goddess of mercy, is even more ironic! the fact that jin guangyao has the goddess's statue carved to look like his own mother is proof that he viewed both her and himself as higher than them. more worthy than them.

of course he cared about the general welfare of others (read: the watchtowers). but consider also that there is no watchtower near yi city, which ended up being one of xue yang's playgrounds. jin guangyao can and will turn a blind eye to certain sufferings if it is convenient to him.

sure, jin guangyao made undeniable contributions to cultivation society and accessibility, but he is not at any point trying to topple existing class structures. his adherence to them is in fact integral to his own downfall in the end.

it brings with it the inevitability of society conveniently ignoring his triumphs and genuine moments of humanity to deride him once more as an evil, disgusting son of a whore once his crimes come to light.

now for wei wuxian. he's the righteous protagonist of the story and he doesn't give a fuck what society thinks, yes, but he wasn't out there trying to cause an uprising so that all the poor servant classes and lower could become cultivators. he wasn't trying to redistribute wealth or insinuate that those who are lower deserve to be viewed as equal to the gentry.

the most critical and non-explicitly stated fact of mo dao zu shi is that wei wuxian has always been resigned to his position in the social hierarchy.

his unreliable narration, especially regarding his own past and thoughts, is so damn important. he doesn't EVER tell the reader directly that people treated him any which way at their leisure because of his parents' differing social classes.

no. instead we are shown how much prestige he is afforded as cangse-sanren's son-- reputation as a talented and charming young cultivator, made head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang-- and how little respect he is given in the same breath, as the son of servant wei changze.

the way he is treated by others is as fickle as the wind. if he obeys and does as told, there is no reward. of course he did that, that was the expectation to start with! if he does anything even slightly inconvenient, there is a punishment. of course he has no manners, what else would you expect from an ungrateful son of a servant?

wei wuxian's righteousness is not a matter of adhering to principles he was explicitly taught, the way nie mingjue values honor or the way jiang cheng always tries to prove himself. wei wuxian does the right thing regardless of what the consequences are to him because his good deeds are always downplayed and his bad deeds are always singled out, no matter who or how many people were doing it with him.

he has faced this double standard since childhood. there are points in the novel where it's clear that this sticks out to wei wuxian, but does he ever fight back against that view of himself? does he EVER, at any point in the story, explain his actions and choices to jianghu society and try to debate or appeal to their sense of reason?

no. because he knows, at his very core, that any explicit deviation from their interests whatsoever will be punished.

slaughtering thousands of people is fine when they want him to do it, and when the alternative is unjust torture, re-education camps, and encroachment upon other sects' lands.

slaughtering thousands of people who are trying to paint him as evil for not going along with their genocidal plans, however, is punished.

wei wuxian knows his acceptance among the higher classes is superficial and unsteady. from the age of 10, when jiang fengmian took him in, he knew subconsciously that he could be kicked out at any time.

he knows that cultivation society doesn't care about war crimes and concentration camps and mistreatment of the remaining wen survivors of the sunshot campaign. but the right thing to do now that they aren't at wartime is to help them, plus they'd punish him either way for it, so he will.

in this regard wei wuxian is more self-aware of his position than jin guangyao. he does care about common people and he does try his best to help them as an individual. even if that ends up with him disabled, arrested, targeted in sieges, or dead.

but is he revolutionary? in the full equality, fight the establishment, rewrite laws, change social structures and people's perceptions of class sense?

no. no. he isn't.

now my knowledge of chinese society and history is fairly limited to my hindu diaspora upbringing and our shared cultural similarities ... but speaking to what i absolutely know us true, adherence to one's social class is expected.

this is rigid. efforts and merits might bring you some level of mobility, but in the end, the circumstances of your birth will always be scrutinized first, and your behavior compared to the stereotypes of where and how you originate.

mdzs is not about revolution, and none of its characters are able to truly change its society. there is no grand "maybe cutsleeves aren't inherently bad" or "i'm sorry for persecuting you and believing hearsay, you were truly a good person all along!" at the finale.

people ignore history and repeat it again with the next batch of ugly gossip and rumors.

wei wuxian, lan wangji, and luo qingyang find peace only by distancing themselves from cultivation society and its opinions.

jin guangyao and wei wuxian both cannot ever escape from others' perception of their origins and actions. regardless of their personal beliefs, they are not revolutionaries.

[greenandhazy]

The thing about NieYao for me is that even when they know the worst of each other, they don’t pull away.

After Nie Mingjue witnesses Meng Yao commit murder, after the confrontation at Nightless City—Nie Mingjue still agrees to swear brotherhood with him. And sure, some if it (even most of it) may be Lan Xichen’s persuasion, but not all of it. He still says he wants to keep Jin Guangyao on the right path. He still swears an oath that is mutually binding for both of them.

After Nie Mingjue’s suspicious nature and violent tendencies get worse, after he kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs and calls him a son of a whore—okay, maybe before, depending on the adaptation—Jin Guangyao chooses to kill him, but he still does it in this very gentle, intimate way that involves him repeatedly going into Nie Mingjue’s home or welcoming Nie Mingjue into his, and after the death he maintains a good relationship with Nie Huaisang (from his POV) and remains enmeshed in Qinghe Nie, keeps Nie Mingjue’s head in his treasure room and feels bound to it, chooses Nie Mingjue as the tool of his ultimate destruction (even as he pushes Lan Xichen away).

It’s the mutual obsession. And I wouldn’t necessarily say that someone seeing the worst in you is the Most Honest way to read someone, but I think for me the reason why NieYao is and will always be the side of 3zun that most fascinates me is the fact that, imo, the worst parts they see in each other are also the parts they most fear.

Meng Yao sees NMJ as rigid, unyielding, incapable of empathizing with others or seeing things from other points of view, unable to be controlled or to control himself—all things that are exploited by and exaggerated by the saber curse, the things that were already driving NMJ to an early grave. Also worth noting that the two main victims we see of his increasing instability are Jin Guangyao and Huaisang, his brother and his heir whom he loves. At times Jin Guangyao is even the one defending Huaisang (the symbol of Qinghe Nie’s future) from NMJ, which I can only imagine he hates more than anything.

As for Meng Yao, there’s a common characterization I see of him that always strikes me as somewhat off, which is one in which he has, basically, low self-esteem and is shocked at being treated well and almost tries to walk it back on behalf of the person being nice to him. I don’t think that’s true. I think Meng Yao does believe that he deserves the position and respect his mother told him was his birthright, and he resents other people for failing to give it to him, because he loves his mother! He thinks SHE is worthy of respect and adoration, and therefore his status as her son shouldn’t be shameful. Appropriately enough, I think that’s what draws him to Nie Mingjue in the first place—the fact that NMJ is the first/among the first people to elevate him based on merit, which SHOULD BE how the world works!

But there is this insidious catch-22, which is that in order to be worthy of the position of respected sect leader’s son, he needs to act like and uphold the values of a respected sect leader’s son… and if he does that, no one will ever raise him to the position. He needs to be a bastard in order to get the job done, which is what Nie Mingjue criticizes him for. He needs to kill, to be sly, to eliminate his enemies, to do his father’s dirty work. And I do think that, over time, his sense of self-respect begins to falter a little, to become intertwined and tainted with disgust at what he’s done, especially when it comes to the people who are closer to him—killing Nie Mingjue, marrying Qin Su and keeping the secret from her, Whatever Happened With Jin Rusong.

So Nie Mingjue’s attitude towards him represents this growing fear: it’s not that Jin Guangyao is unworthy because of his mother, but because of himself. Because his own actions are undeserving of the lofty place his mother imagined for him, the place that she prepared him for and he failed to achieve.

And both of them feel powerless to get off those destructive paths. Nie Mingjue is going to keep cultivating with the saber, because that’s what his family does. Jin Guangyao is going to keep doing whatever he can to get his father’s approval, because that’s what his mother wanted for him. They can see each other’s downfalls so clearly but they’re trapped, and eventually they end up trapped in that coffin together, hand in unlovable fucking hand.

[textualviolence]

Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao's Lovers Fuckability ranking

Level minus zero: Lan Xichen. Does not have even a shred of a fatherly relationship to JGY. Treats him like an equal. Is kind to him. Respects him as a person and genuinely likes who he is. Probably inspires JGY to become celibate so they can be chaste together. Some erotic tension if they don't fuck, brushes of hands, purity and chastity causing a rising of tension etc. But there's no way they can have actual sex outside of maybe the hiding from the Wen context. I bet they write poems to each other though. That's very nice. 2/10

Level 1: Nie Mingjue pre-Meng Yao's dismissal. Is technically probably Meng Yao's first dubious fatherbosslover figure. I do imagine he had a certain degree of guilt about it which isn't hot for anyone being victimized by an older authority figure. Definitely probably a lot of the sex they had and especially the kind they didn't have hinged on the fact that Meng Yao looks exactly like Nie Huaisang. I think if NMJ had been willing to cross that line and actually made Meng Yao kinda sorta pretend to be his little brother he would be further up the ranking, alas. The most morally dubious it gets is that Meng Yao is his servant and social inferior and probably aged around 15. However the incredibly high amount of approval he probably dished out regularly and easily alongside sex and orders did prepare the grounds for Meng Yao to then crave that kind of validation all the time and go to ridiculous lengths for it. 4/10

Level 2: Wen Ruohan. Will groom Meng Yao without subjecting him to his weird morality complex. WRH is just a bad guy and doesn't care. Also will favor Meng Yao over his actual blood children, partly as a manipulation tactic and also because his children kind of suck. Definitely loves to play people against each other and will use the trading of sexual favors as a political tool. Actually old enough to be his dad and is also in the same social position as his dad, currently beating his dad in a war, and acting as his dad dangling promises of legitimization in between throne room handjobs and prisoner torture sessions. Can humiliate both NMJ and JGS. Honestly the ideal situation. Too ideal? It's just too straightforward. Give yourself over to me body and soul and do my evil bidding and in exchange i'll give you all the validation you crave. That's so reliable that its suspicious and kind of a turn off. Where's the excitement and rollercoaster of unpredictable reward/punishment? 6/10

Level 5: Nie Mingjue post-Meng Yao's dismissal: No more little brother issue now it's all about how NMJ just wants to kill him at all cost and will risk political disaster in order to do so. NMJ who used to shower him with affection and validation, telling him all the time that he was proud of him and what a good job he was doing as a deputy, now wants him dead. The dick must be incredible. They probably don't have sex often & its never not violent & dangerous, but the high of it lasts for days. It doesn't lessen the rage in the long term but it evacuates it in the short term & where before the sex was coexisting with the validation now the sex IS the validation. Which makes it hot no matter how unvalidating its actually meant to be. Half those bruises he's hiding under his sleeves aren't from Madam Jin let me tell you. Plus he's writing poems to Lan Xichen and strongly considering the benefits of a chaste existence in between. The guilt and hypocrisy and having to lie to Lan Xichen's concerned and loving face when he sees the bruises is only making it more intense. 9/10

Level 7: Mo Xuanyu: He gets to become his dad(s) and take advantage of the willingness and admiration of a beautiful youth who would do anything for him. On top of that they're related. It's 100% reenactment power reversal fantasy combined with the horror of his marriage to Qin Su finding a concrete twisted sexual outlet. This time he fucked a half-sibling on purpose!!! And then he can dismiss him for sexual impropriety the second he comes to his senses and be rid of the sin forever which was half of the need. And then he can feel even more like his dad. 8/10

Level 10: Jin Guangshan: What more can I say. He slaps with one hand and caresses with another. Literally makes Jin Guangyao do the most secret taboo vile political tasks he can't offload onto anyone else and then refuses to touch him because of it until Meng Yao performs some kind of cleansing action, for which he is briefly rewarded with mild approval and even certain shows of affection, but never outside of the bedroom. Keeps a large retinue of whores and plays them off against each other, includes Meng Yao in the games to make sure he feels like one of them. No way to ever feel too comfortable in the certainty he has his father's anything because any shred of positive interaction is extremely hard-earned, unless he shows sign of wanting to leave or waver in his loyalties, in which case his father WILL pull him back with more love and care than he's ever shown which will feel like a drug. I bet he had more than one fight with NMJ over the issue of which groomer his son was to listen to and he won everytime. One show of possessiveness equivalent to 10'000 hours of basic respect in Meng Yao's heart. 10/10

[shanastoryteller]

happy valentine's day, shana!! your writing is so wonderful and reading your prompt fills always brings me so much joy!! 💕💕 (the newsletter too!! ghost bride mulan SLAPS and i adore every update). could I get some more of sect heir jiang yanli or servant wei wuxian?

a continuation of 1

Jiang Cheng thinks that a general and an immortal's disciple masquerading as servants is a stupid idea.

Meng Yao had pointed out that technically, he and Wei Wuxian are servants. Especially as far as anyone outside their clans is concerned.

"If their prejudice can't be changed, it might as well be used to our advantage," he says, eyes gleaming.

Meng Yao and Nie Huaisang are alike in all the worst ways. No wonder they get along so well.

"You can't be okay with this," he says to Wei Wuxian. The only ones that know what Wei Wuxian usually does with his summers are him and A-jie, and obviously Wei Changze, but Wei Wuxian has been treated as much as a servant as his father has - which means, not really at all.

He and his father carry swords, for fuck's sake. Although Wei Wuxian will have to seal his away if he's going to play servant at Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian shrugs. "If the Wens are going, it's not like Nie Mingjue and your dad are wrong to be concerned. Meng Yao and I are probably the only ones who can get away with pretending to be servants and not set off a thousand alarm bells."

"You'll have to suppress your golden core," Meng Yao says. "All it will take is one person grabbing your wrist and then technicalities won't mean much."

Wei Wuxian makes a face, but shrugs.

He turns to A-jie. "What about you?"

She purses her lips, but says, "I think our father is overreacting. But I'd rather A-Xian is with us, no matter the circumstances."

Great. Now he can't continue arguing about this without looking like an asshole.

[adhdo5]

I do think Jin Guangyao genuinely liked Nie Huaisang. Like he did in fact help NHS for all those years, in Guanyin temple he specifically comments with concern for his wellbeing/comfort in a way he doesn't do explicitly for anyone else other than LXC! He liked that guy!

And like . JGY considers NHS deeply annoying yes but in many ways he's so much less of a liability than his brother had been and certainly less of a danger. He does still resent NHS for all he's been given, that all including himself, but he's always been a little endeared to NHS's antics as much as how spoiled NHS is grates at him sometimes, and the fact that NHS treats LXC the same makes it– it's nice, even, to be held in high regards like that? When he had been Meng Yao he hadn't been able to shake the implication that it was the affection NHS would show to a bird or a toy but seeing it now, and seeing it when NHS genuinely needs their help, and seeing it directed at LXC in equal measure, it's clear it's just the love NHS is used to receiving, and it even dulls the bitterness of the entitlement of that past relationship in retrospect

And NHS is scatterbrained and unmotivated and airheaded and lazy - sometimes JGY thinks he's intentionally slacking off or feeding nonsense rumors because he doesn't understand the gravity of his position, and sometimes the unbecoming jealousy of all NHS has always had for granted including him rears its head – but over the years he makes some progress. Like how he eventually did form his core (barely), like he eventually did pass summer camp (barely), he's slowly coming into his meager own as a sect leader. JGY knows NHS has enough charisma and smarts to pull it off if he applies himself, and he'll eventually be a good trade for how much influence in Qinghe this gives JGY and LXC, and they've enough goodwill between them to tide it over for now

They've known each other for years, after all, and they have a rapport, and LXC loves him, and the companionship is nice. JGY is glad he gets to stay friendly with him, is glad he gets to keep this from Qinghe, is a little viciously smug about having taken Nie Mingjue's idiot baby brother for his own too. He's glad NHS is too careless to have ever even started to notice or suspect – NHS has never been wrathful, but he did love his da-ge, and it would certainly lose JGY that regard, and that would be a shame even though he doubts NHS would really manage any retribution that who Jin Guangyao is now can't mitigate

And especially the fact that their relationship is mostly the same despite their social positions changing so and the fact that NHS has always been one of the people who had also touched him willingly with some regularity and the fact that NHS has little love for such things as propriety – in some ways it feels like this too is and always has been one of his rare relationships that didn't let itself be defined by JGY's status. And as much as stuff like Su Minshan's glowing regard for Lianfang-zun is nice, having relationships like this – with LXC, with QS, with NHS – it's nice in a different way. Even if he has to keep secrets to keep this, he has this love, he's deserved it, he's always deserved it. The class disparity was overcome... he won... his mother was right...

[hard cut to NHS smacking a mosquito with his fan]

[whumpbby]

Idk if there's a right way to say this but Jiang Cheng's biggest crime in and out canon is being not that pleasant to be around and i rlly wish people would acknowledge that instead of trying to paint him as The Worst in order to justify their weirdly intense hatred towards him

I'm going to ramble,sorry, that how I put thoughts in order:)

I think that's the perfect way to say it actually. And 100% fact imho. His biggest flaw is that he has no patience with other people's shit and no filter on how little patience he has. He lets people know he's unhappy with them. All his care and dedication is in his actions.

The way he cares about Wei Wuxian and then Jin Ling - even his scolding is an expression of care, always concerned about the way their behaviour can bring harm to them or to their sects. The way he sacrificed his life for Wei Wuxian without a moment's doubt and neve mentioned it. The way he was fighting a war and rebuilding the sect at the same time. The way his sect became absolutely notfuckwithable. The way he kept throwing himself in the way of danger for his loved ones in the Temple.

This is not some villain who only cares about himself - the way he's being painted by the antis.

There was this post somewhere saying that the biggest flaw in a fictional character is being boring - they can be a war criminal, as long as they're not boring.

I think for some people who are looking for pure escapism and feel-good simplicity (and nothing wrong with that, everyone does that) the "boring" gets replaced with "ugly". The depiction of trauma survivors that didn't "go through all that and ended up kinder". That didn't get over the tragedy in their lives to an appropriate standard. That are functional, but not happy. That bring back the bad stuff that happened because it still influences their lives and behaviours and reactions.

They want all the tragic trauma of the past, but without long-lasting consequences that aren't leading directly to cock-healing or fawning.

Like, if you think about it, no one went through the war in that book and came out "better". Absolutely no one. Lan Zhan drowned himself in guilt and directed all his anger towards Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian didn't stop running for even a moment and he became an intensely careless, emotionally dishonest person. Lan Xichen settled into not really doing much, coasting on his sects' position and JGY's help. Nie Mingjue became a bona-fide warlord who basically said "fuck these people, hunt them for sport for all I care". Meng Yao learned that you can stab your problems away. Everyone around them became incredibly trigger-happy for a long while.

And yet JC is the only one singled out as the Evil Walking The Land, because his trauma response isn't pretty and stoic and is specifically, understandably, targeting the Innocent Cinnamon Roll Protagonist and isn't fixed by the end of the book. He could have saved the world, but as long as he's not polite while he's at it then fuck him.

This is, like, primary school level morality were facing here xD

I cannot tell you how surprised I was when entering the world of The Untamed - prepared by Tumblr to see jC as this demon of a man and instead found this guy who, by all accounts, is in the right 99% of the time. Then I read the book and was staggered by the final reveal. And the absolute bullshit I was fed by people that wanted to sour me on the character before I could make my own mind.

Not even gonna get into how these people treat Wen Ning - whose whole existence is a horrific chain of horrific events ending in his absolutely awful existence of an actual slave... But he's such a cute puppy, eh?

Tldr: people who keep making excuses for hating JC do it to somehow justify the fact they can only accept Trauma Light in their fiction.

[yoyowrites]

as i read mdzs, i had a hard time wrapping my head around lan xichen. he was so kind but for whatever reason i didn't trust him. honestly, until it was explicitly said that he was being held captive and forced to seal up his cultivation that i trusted he wasn't a part of meng yao's scheme. then, it hit me.

lan xichen parallels yue qingyuan. they are both outwardly kind, of high status, and powerful. they both have a soft spot for questionable men and that soft spot leads them to ignoring the men's unsavory sides.

the same way yqy definitely knew that something was up with how shen jiu treated lou binghe, lxc had to have had SOME idea that meng yao was untrustworthy. not just meng yao, listen i love nie mingjue but the reason meng yaoi's plan was so perfect is because nmj had already been seen as so volatile. nmj was respected, yes, but he was also feared. he had a huge temper. lxc was used to looking away when poor behavior occured in favor of having a more positive view of the person

[yunmeng-jiang]

ok it's time for my Official Jiang Cheng Ship Opinions Post. buckle in this is gonna take a bit

Xicheng: I like it in 1 extremely specific circumstance (bonding over very similar experiences post-canon) but I've only seen that done well like. twice. NEEDS to have good characterization (also rare unfortunately) and take into account what they can and can't do as their own sect leaders with regards to courtship/marriage.

Chengqing: perfect in every way. that's it that's all I need to say.

Sangcheng: ehhhhh? Cute in Cloud Recesses summer camp era, not feasible post-canon due to irreconcilable differences in worldview and how much danger it's acceptable to put Jin Ling in.

Zhancheng: honestly I prefer this to be platonic. Hatefucking is not my jam and LWJ is Wei-Ying-sexual in canon anyway. Give Jiang Cheng a friend who is as weirdly obsessed with Wei Wuxian as he is but in a slightly different way. I want to see them coming to terms with that.

Ningcheng: again, someone just as weirdly obsessed with Wei Wuxian, but a little to the left. I don't think either one of them is ever going to look at the other and not see "the guy WWX likes better than me." Maybe someday they'll form a relationship that isn't based entirely around Wei Wuxian, but it seems kind of unlikely.

Chengyao: I'm actually coming around to this a bit recently? Again, it really needs to keep good characterization at the forefront and consider their positions as individual sect leaders, and remember that their "divorced couple energy" is part of the Guanyin Temple shitshow and not the way they would usually behave, especially for Jin Ling's sake. I want to see more fics where Meng Yao grows up with the Jiang sect so that Jiang Cheng is attached to him from the very beginning.

Mingcheng: meh. I don't really think about this ship that much because it honestly doesn't compel me at all. sorry to the mingcheng enjoyers it there I simply do not get it

Chengxuan: same as above, I don't really get this one. Their dynamic is just not that interesting to me.

Chengyi: that is a child. hard no on this one.

Miancheng: kinda cute? I like it when Jiang Cheng recruits her into the Jiang after she gives up on the Jin, it's a fun idea, but I think I like them better as friends.

Ruocheng: no. just no.

Zhucheng (chengliu? Wen Zhuliu and JC): also no.

Chengsu: I could get behind the idea of JGY desperately contacting Jiang Cheng and being like "help I just found out my fiancee is my sister can you please pretend you've been in love with her all this time and get married to her instead??? I'll negotiate to get you more Jin Ling rights if you do." she fits JC's list of desirable qualities in a wife. unfortunately she gets like 6 seconds of screen time and then dies so we really don't know very much about her, which makes it a bit hard to form a strong opinion on the ship

Other Chengsu? Sucheng/Mincheng/Chengshan/whatever this is: I actually think it's interesting that Su She and Jiang Cheng share the trait of "treat them nicely within this narrow window of time in their life in order to get them to become loyal to you forever, otherwise fuck you." It's possible that if Su She had grown up with the Jiang the two of them would have found some common ground and maybe become friends. I'm more interested in non-romantic interactions here

Cheng...yang? what do you call the Xue Yang/Jiang Cheng ship? Xuecheng? idk. again, not really my jam.

Chengjiao. Lingcheng? Jiang Cheng/Wang Lingjiao. Do people even ship this? I could see it as character development for her I guess. At this point I'm just fishing for possible pairings.

and finally, saved for last...

Xiancheng: this isn't romantic or sexual or platonic, it's all three and also a secret fourth thing that's more intense than all of them put together. As a ship, I don't prefer it, because it's too easy to flatten it out into either a boring cutesy fluffy cliche or a boring jealous/possessive boyfriend type thing. I need to see them being weird about each other in a way that no one can possibly identify, especially themselves. They'll die for each other. They'll live for each other. They'll destroy themselves and be happy about it as long as they believe that the other is going to be okay. You really can't make it as simple as "yeah these two want to fuck."

[thatswhatsushesaid]

Honestly the empathy sequence makes NMJ kinda strike me as an entitled/abusive parental figure. Maybe I'm just drawing paralels that aren't there, but:

Feeling entitled to JGY's time and attention? He interrupts his conversations with LXC (twice, I think), one of said times because he was eavesdropping on them AND got angry about JGY expressing fear to LXC IN PRIVATE

Not letting JGY explain himself/ not listening when he tries. At the point of the staircase scene NMJ has been poisoned to hell and back by baxia, but I do believe it's not just that. He sees his moral code as absolute certainty and his inflexible nature makes it that he doesn't take well to deviance from that. Aka has to get his way or gets Angry

I think NMJ was an absolute idiot to let JGY ppay clarity for hin after the staircase thing! That draws more into the paralel because abusive people often hurt others and then act like nothing happened, as if their target doesn't have the right to be upset (see again: qi deviating over JGY expressing fear to LXC). NMJ does this to a degree that paints him as almost oblivious imo

I actually do quite like NMJ but he's. So many shades of fucked up, Christ alive

i am going to proceed cautiously here for several reasons, but primarily because:

i have been drawn into the "is nmj an evil abuser" discourse once before on discord (in defence of da-ge, believe it or not) and i Did Not Enjoy It At All, Actually, and

while i think the behaviour described above absolutely qualifies as abusive, nmj's intentions also matter, and i don't think what nmj is trying to do can be boiled down to simply exerting coercive control over jgy. initially on the hejian front when he eavesdrops on meng yao and lan xichen, he wants to help him; the second time he eavesdrops, it's because he straight up views jgy as a threat, and decides to kill him because of it.

imo their dynamic is dysfunctional and toxic and is a powder keg set to explode essentially from the moment nmj sees meng yao killing the jin commander on the langya front, but i think calling it abusive is an over-simplification of what is going on between them.

that said, i do think there is a character in the novel canon who nmj repeatedly tries to exert coercive control over, who is fully and unquestionably under his authority and influence, and who he treats with wildly vacillating levels of either patience or explosive anger depending on the canon point, and that character is nie huaisang.

---

this post has been added to my dreamwidth meta archive here: https://thatswhatsushewrote.dreamwidth.org/7080.html

[larothoughts]

fem!jiggy thoughts (part 1: qinghe nie)

this is part of a larger mdzs au i definitely do NOT have time to write completely. but i've been turning it over in my head for days at this point and it needs to be written down else i forget everything.

basically, how drastically things would have changed with a genderbent meng yao.

(the following timeline is a mix between canons; basically it's the drama timeline without the yin-iron/puppets. but i'm even less familiar with the mdzs timeline as i am with svsss so forgive me for any errors;;;)

the brothel

now i fully believe meng shi, smart as she was and living in a brothel, would've done all she could to hide meng yao's true gender from the madam and her coworkers. this was her son, only meng shi is allowed to bathe him, his father will come back to retrieve him one day. secretly, she still taught meng yao that her father was a great man; that one day she wouldn't need to hide as he will surely take her in.

sisi, the only other person aware of meng yao's true gender, would've seen a young and already-pretty meng yao and been emboldened to pull her aside: 'do not go to lanling jin once your mother dies. not even being his daughter will protect you from jin guangshan.'

because jgs has a reputation amongst brothel workers, the working women of lanling, everyone except for the women he bedded and charmed. if meng yao had been a boy, then maybe sisi would've been assured that the worst jgs could do was throw him down koi tower. but as a girl, when meng yao was as pretty as her mother? no. absolutely not.

so when meng shi dies, sisi sneaks out a still cross-dressing meng yao and urges her to run as far away from the madam's reach as she could. she was still passably androgynous in her youth, but the minute the madam realized she was a girl, she'd force her to take on her mother's debt in her place. so meng yao runs.

qinghe nie

now sisi may have stressed the importance of not going to lanling jin as a no-name girl with a pretty face, but meng yao is tenacious. if she could build a reputation as a cultivator, then surely her father would at least be willing to hear her story out. to acknowledge her as a member of his family. (because meng shi was right too; if meng yao was legitimized as a jin, being a woman would no longer be as dangerous as it was for her now. she would have the power to finally dress and act the way she wants.) the yunmeng jiang sect is a bit too close to home for her comfort, so she goes to the next best sect accepting civilian members: qinghe nie.

one would think NOT being known as a bastard son of a whore would make her experience here much better. it doesn't. sure, the og!qinghe nie bullies liked to use his status to torment meng yao, but in the meritocratic no-bullshit environment chifeng-zun has established, it's strength that ultimately matters. and in both the og universe and in this one, meng yao just isn't as strong as the other recruits. being weak, effeminate and too-differential are all frowned upon traits for a man to be in qinghe nie; but in this au, meng yao would rather be bullied for weakness than be forced to give up cultivating altogether. it's not like female cultivators aren't allowed, just that female cultivators in qinghe nie are held at a higher physical standard. if anyone found out she was actually a girl, they'd take one look at her soft and petite frame and remove her from the ranks entirely. so meng yao grits her teeth and tries to make herself useful no matter how humiliating it is when her fellow disciples treat her more like a servant than a comrade.

then, nie mingjue comes across her half-dressed. she's mortified. the one person who should never know her real gender just walks up behind her, all because the other disciples had set her camp up across the pond as more bullying and she figured she'd use the privacy to her advantage. rather than demand answers or react with violence, however, chifeng-zun just frowns.

"I wasn't aware there were women in this squadron." "There... aren't," Meng Yao answers. She flushes slightly when Nie Mingjue's gaze flickers down to the still-visible swell of her breast, barely hidden beneath the robe she'd yanked over herself in panic. There is an awkward silence, one that fills her with skin-crawling dread. She has half a mind to throw her dignity away entirely and beg for mercy on her knees, but the man surprises her by turning his gaze away from her body out of... out of respect? The idea of a man not ogling her the way all men ogled women is strangely endearing. "Your name?" the sect leader finally says. It briefly crosses her mind to lie. It'll be a difficult but not impossible task to slip away from this squad and pretend to be recruited into another under a different alias. She's an expert disguise-artist when given enough time and determination; her work helping the brothel sisters prepare for the night beforehand was testament to that. Meng Yao wants to lie, because that's always been her first instinct in the face of danger. But from the way everyone spoke about Chifeng-zun, the righteous Nie Mingjue, Meng Yao suspects lying of any kind here may be her actual undoing. "Meng Yao," she answers him, decisive. "My name is Meng Yao."

the inner circle

no one is more shocked than meng yao when, only a few days later, chifeng-zun reassigns her to his personal squadron. he sees her contributions, recognizes her worth, and promotes her into the ranks as an inner disciple. and the cost of this promotion--and therefore unrestricted access to the nie library, where meng yao could finally, finally get her hands on a cultivation manual better suited to her than the dumb one handed out to new recruits--is the added job all members of chifeng-zun's squad must partake in sooner or later: babysitting nie huaisang.

in fact, this is her main job. meng yao is briefly offended that chifeng-zun assumes her gender makes her the perfect babysitter. she's only mollified at the promise of (1) aforementioned access to the nie library as an inner disciple, (2) the sect leader's promise to keep her true gender a secret from everyone but huaisang and (3) her job is less babysitter and more last-line-of-defense, the same as all his other squad members. the difference is, nie huaisang hates having to put up with the usual burly, no-nonsense nie cultivators silently judging his foppish pursuits. they ruin his aesthetic!

meng yao is still annoyed that mingjue assumes her being female means nie huaisang will better allow himself to be guarded (because feminine pursuits means he would prefer a female guard??) but... the man is trying. and having unrestrained access to both the young master and the sect leader is an advantage she'd be insane not to secure. even if her sudden promotion makes her relationship with the lower-ranked nie disciples even worse.

almost perfect

these years are, in hindsight, some of the best of meng yao's life. she dotes on huaisang as if he's her own little brother, finally manages to cultivate her golden core, and finds pride in clearing away qinghe nie's hidden enemies. she has mingjue's admiration and trust, and holds enough sway with the non-disciples to see her plans put into action. things are almost perfect, but for a few things: the lower-ranked disciples still view meng yao as a snake that slept 'his' way to the top of the hierarchy; and nie mingjue refuses to take her as his wife.

well, refuse is a strong word. more like 'will not offer,' a predicament huaisang laments alongside meng yao because just look at her! she'd be a perfect nie-furen! also i know you're sleeping together da-ge, yao-jie is discreet but you certainly aren't! no one even entertains the idea of meng yao being taken in as a concubine; the moment one of the mostly powerless nie elders tries to bring it up (a civilian, mingjue? a man??) the nie brothers shut it down.

the lack of proposal is not out of disrespect. it's because nie mingjue knows he's going to die young. marrying meng yao would require her to reveal her true gender to calm down the nie elders, and once known that information can't be taken back. leaving behind a widow and a non-combatant brother is a far more dangerous situation than leaving behind a non-combatant brother and his trusted attendant. leaving behind a widow related to jin guangshan is even worse. that power-hungry bastard would use any opportunity to gain ground, and his grieving daughter in qinghe nie would put the entire sect in jeopardy.

(mingjue would like to think meng yao would have more loyalty to qinghe than that, but even through rose-tinted glasses he knows meng yao is a practical woman. if it ensured her own safety and possibly huaisang's, she'd open the gates of qinghe nie herself. that was the entire point of meng yao telling him her background, a warning disguised as her detailing how useful she could be. it makes mingjue uneasy, the idea of what meng yao would do if backed into a corner. so he spends as much energy as possible to keep that from happening.)

the fall

meng yao takes nie huaisang to the gusu lan lectures again and again. tensions with the wen sect keep rising. xue yang is captured and taken into the qinghe nie dungeons, only to be broken out by wen cultivators less than a day later. in the ensuing battle, mingjue catches meng yao murdering the same former squad mate that used to steal credit for her victories. he sees her smile, her purposeful use of a wen-style attack, and how easy it is for her to switch from confident to 'terrified' once she realizes he sees her. the shift shakes something fundamental in him, the realization that this woman he loves is so capable of putting on a mask. that she put a mask on in front of him, when she'd once vowed never to do so unless it was for the good of the sect.

murdering the captain of her former squadron was not for the good of the sect.

before he can confront her, xue yang cuts his way through the last of the nie defenses and leaves one last parting gift via declaration: that wen rouhan was quite interested in the beautiful woman who'd stolen nie minjue's heart. that she could do so much better in nightless city, if she ever found herself wanting.

the aftermath of the escape is devastating. meng yao eschews dignity and does what she thought of doing the first time her gender was revealed: she gets down on her knees and begs for mingjue to let her stay as a nie disciple. already word has spread throughout qinghe nie and the wider gentry that meng yao is not just a woman, but a devious and power-grabbing one. that she hid her gender to get close to the sect leader, then engineered a perfect reveal to catch his attention. that she could have easily seized control of the entire sect before anyone had any idea of the threat she was.

mingjue, meanwhile, doesn't know what is and isn't true. he's questioning everything about meng yao, even their first meeting as insinuated by the rumors. it hurts him deeply that he can no longer trust her word; and it hurts her to lose his regard so absolutely.

in a world that favors men, mingjue wouldn't hesitate to kick male!meng yao out within the day. in this one, fem!meng yao is instead locked in her rooms until mingjue can come up with a solution that won't end in her certain death. because despite huaisang's begging, he is firm in the fact that meng yao cannot stay. not even taking into account mingjue and huaisang's feelings, the outrage amongst the nie disciples is enough they'd likely rebel if she remained. mingjue does not want to see meng yao slain by a disciple of his own sect. he doesn't, against his better judgment, want to see meng yao slain at all.

lanling jin

in a great twist of fate, huaisang points out the best solution is the plan meng yao gave up on so many years ago. for better or for worse, meng yao's name is now known across the gentry. she'd been a high-ranking member of qinghe nie for many years, is valued by both brothers and is still respected for her intelligence. mingjue keeps silent on the matter of their broken trust, their long-lasting affair, and any rumors other than the fact that meng yao is a woman. instead, he sends meng yao to lanling jin with a retinue of disciples from his personal squadron, as well as an apology gift for besmirching the honor of jin guangshan's daughter.

he sends her to koi tower with a glowing letter of recommendation and an earnest request for jin guangshan to take care of someone both nie brothers care about greatly. jin guangshan reads the two letters through gritted teeth, sat in front of the stoic nie retainers bracketing meng yao on either side. with meng yao's name and accomplishments on everyone's minds, with the thinly-veiled threat of nie retribution in those damn letters-- jin guangshan cannot hide her away as he would his other bastards.

he has no choice but to accept meng yao into lanling jin as his daughter, even with his wife glaring daggers at him all the while.

it is the last gift mingjue is willing to give meng yao. if not his hand, fulfilling her dream is the next best thing he can offer. unfortunately, as with most things in meng yao's life, it is simply not enough.

a few weeks later, the cloud recesses burn.

[anbessette]

WIP Word Games

Rules: you'll be given a word. post a sentence/excerpt from your wips beginning with each letter of the word.

@jaimebluesq tagged anyone who wants to participate, and that's me!

My word is FAINTED

F “Fascinating,” breathed Wen Qing. “The musculature must be...”

A “All anyone will remember about Wen Ruohan's death is that a girl in disguise did it!”

I Indeed, sometimes he thought that he’d only dared to love Nie Mingjue because there was no prospect of marriage. The future Sect Leader Nie could never be locked up in a house with gentians; they could pledge their hearts to each other and yet always remain free.

N Nie Mingjue frowned. “Are you drunk?” (It was an honest question. He hadn’t thought Meng Yao was capable of getting lost. He’d assumed the impeccable sense of direction was tied to the perfect memory.)

T There was a kind of grim gentleness in the way he asked the question, as though he hoped he was wrong but was sure he was not, and he pitied Meng Yao already.

E “Even if Chifeng-zun didn’t famously hate everyone bearing the name Wen, even if Lianfang-zun wasn’t part of the family that held these people in prison camps where they were treated worse than animals – do you seriously expect me to leave an unmarried young lady alone behind closed doors with three armed men? I’d never do such a thing to my shijie and I won’t do it to Wen Qing. She's under my protection here.”

D “Do you mean to tell me he didn’t know? You didn’t tell him? How could you be so irresponsible?”

That was fun! I tag @lgbtlunaverse @westiec @greenandhazy and anyone else who sees this and wants to play. Your word is: WONDERS

[nillegible]

(Part 7 of Stay, the MY time travel fic. Well, Chronologically follows Part 3, But you can read them any which way! Read the others using: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7)

“I can take a hint, you know,” says Qin Su a few days later. “I’m not going to keep chasing you if you’re not interested, you didn’t have to tell my father to interfere.”

“I. I did not do such a thing, Qin-guniang,” says Meng Yao.

She glares at him as if to divine how truthful he was being. An interesting precaution but ultimately futile. She wouldn’t ever be able to see through him if he chose to deceive her. “I suppose I’ll believe you,” she says. “Meng-shidi should know that I had the most uncomfortable discussion with my father today. Since it’s your fault – regardless of what you told anyone – you owe me!”

“This Meng Yao has little to offer, but is yours to command regardless,” he says, sweetly.

“Then call me Su-shjie. If you’re part of my sect, you should act like it.”

“Alright, shijie,” says Meng Yao with a smile, hoping that she’ll accept it.

“Better,” she says approvingly. Then, lighter, “It is hard to stay angry, Meng-shidi’spractically weaponized those dimples.” It startles a genuine laugh out of him. She really was the loveliest person; proof that Jin Guangshan’s seed was not all rotten.

“This Meng Yao will find Su-shijie to continue our conversation later? I’m to help demonstrate muffling talismans for the junior disciples today.”

“Of course, go on! I’ll see you later!” The last is a promise, she obviously intends to see it through.

It hurts a little less when he nods and agrees, before hurrying to the class he was meant to help with. They could be friends, this time.

This time, Meng Yao wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

(This time, he wouldn’t hurt her.)

---

If everyone else is also strangely kind to him for a few weeks after, then Meng Yao doesn’t really notice, nor make the connection, until he’s following Su-shijie and two of her friends on a trip to the market. He’s being used mostly to hold packages; the girls had picked up quite a lot of novels; more than fit into the few qiankun bags they had brought with them.

“Apologies to Meng-shidi, we didn’t think we’d be stopping here,” they’d said, or something along those lines, at four different places already.

Aside from the packages, he was only occasionally consulted over the appearance or worth of some small trinkets – one of the youngest disciples had recently received a sword, and they wished to give her gifts for the occasion – but as Meng Yao’s being treated to snacks as an apology for every hour the trip extends, he barely minds. He is free for the day and it’s almost fun.

Li Feilong finds a green ribbon, almost exactly of a shade to match with official Nie robes. Huaisang would like that, he thinks, just as she says, “Oh, doesn’t this look lovely?” holding it out. She wraps it around her wrist to observe the colour.

“Feilong-shimei’s partiality is showing again,” ribs Qin Su, eyeing the other wares, and picking a midnight-blue one for herself.

“Shijie,” Li Feilong huffs, before releasing the ribbon, saying under her breath, “But he is handsome, I don’t know how he’s only ranked seventh on that blasted list.”

“We’ve all heard it before, Feilong-shijie,” laughs Lin Biao. “Well, I suppose Meng-shidi hasn’t.”

“Meng-shidi!” says, Li Feilong suddenly, whirling towards him. “You used to be Sect Leader Nie’s deputy, were you not? Come, tell me if this colour truly matches his robes,” she says, and Meng Yao steps closer even though he’s sure it is close enough.

“It would be hard to tell them apart,” he says. “Though such a light silk would be more Nie-gongzi’s style than Nie-zongzhu’s. He doesn’t know if it’s because Nie Mingjue’s cultivation was so advanced that he could not tell the weight of his robes, but his silks were heavy.

“That doesn’t matter, thanks, shidi! Auntie, may I have three lengths of this, please?”

“Three lengths, Shimei?”

“Hush, Shijie. I’ll wear it to the hunt on Phoenix mountain, next season! I can edge my cuffs with it, to match.”

The three women pick out other ribbons as well, a pretty pale periwinkle, a few yellows and roses, and some Qin-sect blues. Meng Yao finds his eyes being drawn to the green ribbon again and again. He can’t really believe that he thought that, so what if Huaisang would like it? There was no shortage of green silk in Qinghe, and Meng Yao is no longer... no longer beholden to him.

Some habits were clearly hard to break, that is all, and ‘Huaisang would like that,’ is a decade long habit, that led to him buying multiple pretty things for him. Fans yes, for birthdays, but he’d spoiled him with other things, too.

Meng Yao had always treated him like a child, and somehow missed what was right in front of his face.

It doesn’t stop Meng Yao from buying a length of it before they leave, as well as some colours of thread to go with it. He slips it all into his sleeve, and pretends not to notice the curious looks that he gets form his three companions.

“Shall we return then?” he asks.

“Just a few boxes of tanghulu for mother, and then we can go,” Qin Su decides, and they nod, trailing after her.

On the way back, Qin Su asks, voice mild enough that he’s instantly on guard, “Will Yao-shidi be wearing a green ribbon to the hunt as well?”

Wait, what? When on earth had he given her that impression?

“This shidi will of course be in Sect colours,” he says, while he frantically tries to pick out how this misunderstanding had come about. “The ribbon is for a gift.”

“Oh, of course,” says Qin Su.

“At least agree with me that Nie-zongzhu should be ranked higher, Meng-shidi,” says Li Feilong, from behind them. Meng Yao had assumed they were not listening, and when he quickly glances behind them, Lin Biao is elbowing her, trying to shut her up.

Oh?

Too startled by the byplay and its potential implications, he demurs politely, “I have no opinion on the matter, Feilong-shijie.” Then he smirks, “But I do know why the ranking is in the order that it is!”

Lin Biao gasps, and bounds closer. “You know who makes the rankings?” Conversation neatly diverted, Meng Yao spends the rest of the walk back coyly refusing to reveal his source – not that a drunk Huaisang in the future, confessing to ranking Jin Zixuan above Wei Wuxian just to see Wei Wuxian’s face, and putting his brother seventh because he had to be somewhere is much of a source – and the three ladies graciously allow for the change in topic.

If he returns to his room and skips dinner that night, well, he had been treated to a lot of snacks that afternoon. And it gives him time to try to figure out how exactly he’d convinced Sect Leader Qin that he was a cutsleeve. (He pretends that this is pressing enough that he doesn’t need to think about the green ribbon he’d bought so impulsively, and shoves it beneath his simple sewing kit.)

---

Meng Yao very very cautiously observes his disciple-siblings over the course of the next few weeks, but except for two offhand comments – quickly shushed – no one comments on his supposed inclination for cutting his sleeve. He’s a little bemused but after some thought and delicate probing, he works out the evidence for their “deduction”. In addition to his unexpected rejection of Qin Su, there was the matter of his apparent fear of Jin Guangshan; who was well known for his intolerance for such “deviancy” within his sect.

It's so absurdly sensible a conclusion to draw from the limited evidence available that Meng Yao has no defence to offer. Surely it made more sense than Meng Yao having returned from the future.

And most importantly: no one cared. They were trying to be kind.

If he didn't know better he would think he had developed a second golden core; so warm is the feeling that fills him up and settles in.

[3cosmicfrogs]

for the ask game: naybe an AU where LXC is not on the stairs at thaf JGY/NMJ confrontatiom but baxia Got Attached so she refuses to be like. Slammed down?? And nieyao js now awkwarsly staring at each other, because whay is happening

hmmmmm you propose an interesting scenario.... i guess this could fit into the More Sentient Baxia AU that Woob and i have fever-dreamed up? in that case, five headcanons of what would happen if baxia got Attached:

baxia does not want to kill the Searching-Wanting-Waiting-Watching Human. she likes him, he gives nice skritches. and he always surrounds himself with a delicious aura of almost-evil that she just itches to sink her teeth into and rip away from him... Plus, her master clearly likes him too, he just needs her to show him!

baxia has seen into her human's heart and decided that he needs to get laid, immediately. She will take the necessary steps to make this happen, because she is a Good Sabre! now that she's saved the Searching-Wanting-Waiting-Watching Human, she only needs to find a way to make her intentions clear to the Floating-Calming-Softly-Quietly Human... her best course of action is clearly to start hovering in his peripheral vision from what she is sure is her most seductive angle.

Misunderstandings! Misunderstandings everywhere! naturally, because they are grown adults, mingjue and meng yao cannot possibly have a conversation about this. they will continue to Agonise separately and entirely unproductively while Xichen looks on and sighs. All the while everyone is being terrorised by baxia. Eventually someone breaks (my bet is on xichen) and demands to know exactly what is going on?! and if you think the resulting argument anything is but a sarcastic word-duel you'd be wrong! again, because nieyao are mature, grown-ass adults about this who can totally handle their feelings.

"are you upset you couldn't follow through, da-ge?" "I swear this has never happened before! I usually perform just fine!" "that's alright, mingjue-xiong, maybe you were just stressed?" "yes, there's no reason to be embarassed, da-ge." "a-yao is right, i'm sure this sort of thing happens all the time...?" "well did it ever happen to either of you?!" "...no." "whatever! let's try again then, i'm sure i'll manage this time!" <- this conversation will be overheard by an outside character of your choosing (nhs perhaps?) to Maximum Comedic Effect.

When the Issues Are Being Resolved, mingjue is faced with the absolutely mortifying ordeal of explaining to his increasingly incredulous sworn brothers that yes, nie sabres do in fact sometimes talk to their masters, of course this is normal what are you talking about, and also his magical bloodthirsty weapon has decided that he really really needs a romantic relationship and picked xichen and meng yao. yes she's been tormenting him. they can try a relationship he supposes, just to satisfy the Magical Bloodthirsty Weapon of course, no feelings will arise surely, and if nothing comes of it she will back off. this is entirely unaided by huaisang, who keeps orchestrating bed shortages and feeding the three of them aphrodisiacs because he is convinced that his brother is suffering from erectile dysfunction.

I'm not very good at making coherent plots or headcanons as you can see, but i thrive in crack treated seriously, and so this is what this will be.

[rosethornewrites]

T & G reading since 7/25

Finished

Teen:

Fact Check (出面辟谣, 以正视听), by dragongirlG (🔒)

出面辟谣, 以正视听: to come forth and refute rumors so that the truth may be revealed

In an effort to preserve Wei Wuxian's reputation, Lan Wangji writes pointed reviews of shoddy cultivation tools which use the Yiling Laozu's name for marketing.

Written for Bearer of Light: a Lan Wangji fanzine.

A tapestry of us, by jalpari

Lan Wangji and Sizhui, through different eyes over the years.

Good Fortune Lies Within Bad, by ereshai

Whatever had happened must have been recent - the child, who they had discovered crying all alone outside the house, was scared and probably hungry, but otherwise unhurt.

Crimson leaves, by barisan (3 chapters)

There is a world where Wei Wuxian could not take another word of slander towards a mother whose smile he couldn’t even remember, a father whose embrace he couldn’t recall the warmth of.

A world where he could not take another beating, another misplaced punishment, another thoughtless insult.

Perhaps he grows tired of fooling himself into thinking that he has a place in Lotus Pier.

That he belongs.

That he is wanted.

Loved.

A Better Lie, by nirejseki

Wait.

This wasn't the Lan sect, with all its strict rules and stricter morality.

This was the Nie.

(Meng Yao identifies an opportunity.)

Descent, by nirejseki

Lan Qiren was old. Lan Qiren was tired.

General:

tiny gentians, by humancorn

Lan Wangji scolds five year old Wei Wuxian and deals with the consequences.

Taking Responsibility, by bavariansugarcookie

Lan Zhan is doing his best to ignore Wei Ying while he's supervising Wei Ying's punishment in the library - but even Lan Zhan's patience isn't infinite.

Or what would happen if Lan Zhan kissed Wei Ying in the Gusu Lan library.

Unfinished

Teen:

A Fire in Your Heart, by Whichie

Cangse Sanren was wild and untamable, playfull and carefree, a kitsune down to her very core. Her son was no different.

Wei Wuxian was not meant to be caged, but when Madam Yu locked his kitsune nature inside himself, he found out quickly that the world will never want someone like him. Better to hide away. Better to pretend to be a normal human than face the consequences of being a fox spirit among cultivators trained to take you out.

That is, until he goes to Gusulan for the lectures, and finds someone who sees past every twisted chain.

A Songbird at Dawn, by mondengel (🔒)

At a discussion conference, Wen Ruohan discovers something he hadn't known he'd lost. As it happens, being a grandfather suits him rather well.

General:

but I figured it out, then made my way back, by MichelleFeather

It was an extreme, a desperate decision fueled by anger towards the entire cultivation world, a grief deeper than the deepest trenches in the ocean. The realization that Lan Wangji would now have to continue on living a second time without his beloved, where Wei Wuxian had died once again. Where, once more, his love had been taken from him by cruel, unrighteous men who thought they knew better, that they were doing the world a justice.

Lan Qiren had seen the state that his nephew had been in after Wei Wuxian’s first death, what Lan Wangji had done in his grief then, and he feared what Lan Wangji would do to himself if he was left alone with this repeated grief.

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me, by xxxMiaHikarixxx

Lan Wangji is bedridden after receiving the thirty-three strikes as his punishment. He has just been informed of Wei Ying's death. He is convinced he'll never see his beloved again and his soul mourns the loss of him. But something happens in the Jingshi that forces Lan Wangji back to the past, almost three years before Wei Ying visits Cloud Recesses. Lan Wangji is determined to change the past and make sure his beloved is safe and treated with the respect he deserves this time.

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Outta Time

So @littlesmartart and I discovered that we both love Orville Peck, and I decided it might be nice to write Western Cowboy shit that isn't the Brokeback Mountain AU so here's this 😂 Inspired by Orville Peck's song 'Outta Time' from the album Bronco (Jess came up with the plot, I wrote it, and she's drawn art to go along with it for the visual that's directly inspired by the song [and that was all I had in mind for this before she came up with the plot lol]!)

--//--

It was, perhaps, foolishness on Meng Yao’s part to think that Huaisang was telling him nothing but the unvarnished truth when he’d invited him to head out West with him for a luxury vacation, set to last the entirety of their summer break.

“It’ll be like one of those fancy retreats silly rich people go on!” he’d insisted (as if he isn’t mind-bogglingly ridiculous and wealthier than Meng Yao could ever hope of being [considering he’s only just recently been forced to accept he’ll never see a single iota of his father’s support, emotionally or financially]). “Trust me!”

Mistake number 1 had been saying, “Alright A-Sang, I trust you.”

Mistake number 2 : being a man of his word.

Within a month of receiving Huaisang’s invitation, summer arrives with rolling peals of thunder heralding oppressive humidity and swarms of mosquitos. Meng Yao, a man of his word as stated, dutifully packs most of his belongings into a suitcase that weighs far less than the upper limit of the airline’s luggage weight restriction and navigates the pair of them through the airport with minimal stress, mainly thanks to not allowing Huaisang to be in charge of anything at all.

He chats with Huaisang on and off throughout their flight to keep himself distracted from the fact that he’s leaving behind everything he’s ever known to spend three months in the middle of bumfuck nowhere at his only friend’s brother's ranch, which Huaisang had only told him the full truth about yesterday, after it was already far too late to gracefully back out. Meng Yao’s promised luxury vacation destination is apparently in actuality a cattle ranch that Huaisang’s brother apparently runs mostly to keep himself in shape and avoid the stress of city life that had given him a heart attack at the ripe old age of 27 a few years back. (It is, by far, the weirdest ‘so I have this older brother’ story that Meng Yao has ever heard.)

“So this brother of yours –” Meng Yao finally caves and asks about an hour before final descent.

“Uh-huh?”

“He just…up and left New York. For Montana?”

“Yep,” Huaisang pops the ‘p’ and flicks to the next page in his magazine, unbothered, “After his heart attack he said he wanted to see some mountains and get some actual fresh air if he was just going to die soon anyway, it really dramatic and maudlin, which he never is, I was so proud. Only it turns out it was exactly what he needed to not die, so after a while he decided he would just stay out there for good. He bought the house and the land and some horses to give himself something to do besides stare at the sky all day, and then he was still kind of bored so he bought some cattle.”

Naturally. As one does.

“And now he’s…a cattle rancher. From New York City.”

Huaisang laughs and finally looks up from his magazine to smile at Meng Yao like ‘oh you sweet little thing’ in the way Meng Yao kind of hates, but Huaisang does it to everyone so he can’t really take too much offense.

“Yes, Yaoyao, you’ll understand when you meet him! Da-ge’s never really been a city guy, not like us. It suits him much better to be out here, especially since his best friend moved out here to help him out. Xichen-ge treats it like a meditation retreat but with a lot more mucking out stalls. He says even that part’s therapeutic, but I’m just going to take his word on that one, ‘cause ew.”

“Uh-huh.”

Huaisang leaves him to consider just what the hell he’s gotten himself into for the rest of the flight, and then they’re navigating their way (ridiculously easily) through the rinky-dink airport hardly bigger than a parking garage, the sky beyond the terminal windows blue blue blue where it stretches on forever in every direction.

“Da-ge!”

Meng Yao barely manages to snag Huaisang’s duffel when his friend flings it off his shoulder to go sprinting across the 3-carousel baggage claim, the fastest Meng Yao has ever seen him move. It’s a distinct relief that Meng Yao can use juggling their bags as an excuse to approach at a much more respectable pace; he needs the extra time to truly digest what he’s seeing.

Huaisang, as a former-model-turned-fasion-designer who happily calls himself a fruit at every opportunity, is one of the daintiest men Meng Yao has ever met. He’d even go so far as to call him a dandy, if pressed, and fully supports his friend’s decision to call himself every ‘emasculating’ label under the sun with obvious relish. He can’t deny that at least some of his confusion as to his best friend’s mysterious older brother’s chosen lifestyle stemmed from picturing someone like Huaisang, if perhaps a little taller.

He’s not confused anymore.

The man who catches Huaisang midair and swings him in a circle before setting him back on his feet would never be asked to grace the runways of New York — not because he isn’t beautiful enough to make Meng Yao’s fingers twitch for his camera to capture the way the sun cuts across his weather-tanned face, but because no one has ever heard of a fashion model who was roughly 6’7” and perhaps 300 pounds of solid, clearly functional muscle.

Huaisang’s brother towers over everyone else in the building that Meng Yao can see (and he can see most of them, re: rinky-dink airport in the middle of bumfuck Montana), and when he looks over the heads of the few people between Meng Yao and the exit their eyes lock instantly.

“A-Sang, be nicer to your friend,” Meng Yao can hear from here, a bass rumble that Does Things to his chest. “Go get your bag, don’t make your guest carry your shit or he’ll think I never taught you decent manners. Go on.”

Huaisang flutters back over and takes his bag with an unapologetic grin. Meng Yao finishes taking the ten-odd steps necessary for the brother to stick his hand out with a wry little smirk and say, “Hey, I’m Mingjue.”

“Meng Yao,” he replies and slides his hand into Mingjue’s dry, work-calloused palm.

“Welcome to big sky country, A-Yao,” Mingjue replies with a widening smile, a flash of straight white teeth and a dimple hiding under his mustache, and Meng Yao regrets to say that he’s thoroughly fucked.

–//–

The land unfolds around them as they drive down straight roads at an almost leisurely pace through miles and miles of…nothing.

Not nothing, Meng Yao supposes, but long gone are the corridors of towering skyscrapers, the lingering miasma of so many people living together in tight quarters, everyone building up up up to stack ever-more people into the same few square miles. Meng Yao understands, suddenly, why Mingjue had come here and stayed. He doesn’t think he has it in him to eschew all the conveniences of New York City for the open country, but someone like Mingjue seems like the type to appreciate having the space to…expand. To be bigger than life and have the room to do it in. He certainly feels larger than life at the moment as he details for Huaisang all the comings and goings on the ranch since he’d last visited, as he talks about the horses and his cattle and the monsoon rains they’d apparently only just missed that had finally turned everything summer-green.

Meng Yao sits on the bench seat of Mingjue’s beat up old pickup truck and watches the sparse scattering of fluffy white clouds drift over more sky than he’s ever seen in his life and he gets it.

He hasn’t gotten nearly enough of his fill of marveling (subtly) over the view by the time they pull off the road onto a dirt road that Huaisang tells him is actually Mingjue’s driveway, but he contents himself with the knowledge that they’re here for three months, he’ll have plenty of time to appreciate the view later. They rattle over a few metal grates Mingjue explains are cattle guards to keep the animals from escaping the ranch should they manage to break out of their pastures, and Meng Yao isn’t a child so he doesn’t exclaim about how fucking huge the cattle are some distance away from the road where they’re grazing (but he certainly rethinks his half-baked desire to see them up close anytime soon).

“Home sweet home,” Mingjue announces when they reach the end of the lane after another mile or two and opens his door with a creak. Meng Yao leans forward to look up at the house through his lashes and must not be able to control his expression as much as he’d prefer as Huaisang chuckles at him a little, nudging him in the side with his pointy little elbow.

“Told you it was nice,” he chirps and slides across the seat to get out on the driver’s side. “Da-ge be careful!” he trills, his nervous fretting muffled as he scurries around to the bed of the truck. Meng Yao doesn’t pay attention to their bickering or the scuffle of hard-soled boots on dirt, though his attention is snagged at least a bit by the sound of Mingjue laughing at whatever he’s just done to make Huaisang whine at him.

The house is beautiful, is the thing. Somehow he hadn’t thought that it would be, perhaps owing to how many times he’s listened to Huaisang complain about his brother’s lack of taste for anything even remotely fashionable. He should really stop assuming things about Mingjue, he supposes, considering he’s currently scored 0 for 2, and he hates to lose.

He gets out of the car, finally, to better appreciate white-washed wood paneling just beginning to show hints of weathering, blue shutters clearly freshly painted the same shade of the sky overhead with the front door painted to match. There are rocking chairs on the wraparound porch, clearly well-loved if the flattened, sun-faded cushions on them are anything to judge by, positioned to face west. He has a sudden mental image of Mingjue sitting out here in the evenings to watch the sunset over the mountains looming in the distance and has to shake himself all over once (discreetly) to keep from sticking himself in the chair next to him in this little pastoral fantasy. That’s just making it weird.

“You want the grand tour or you wanna settle in?” Mingjue asks; Meng Yao doesn’t jump to find himself standing next to his host he hadn’t heard approaching, but he does feel suddenly…shy in a way he’s definitely not used to. He tilts his head enough to squint up at Mingjue, the sun too bright in his eyes, and finds to his dismay that he’s still just as handsome as he’d been an hour ago.

“I want you to give him the tour!” Huaisang calls from where he’s petting a horse (an actual horse, but are they supposed to be that tall??) that’s come up to the fence at the other end of the front yard, such as it is, to duck down and nose at Huaisang like an old friend.

“I don’t care what you want, you little brat,” Mingjue calls back. “And don’t you dare give that beast whatever candy you’ve got in your pockets, do you know how long it took to train him out of biting people who didn’t give him any after you left?!”

Meng Yao hides a smile behind his hand and finds himself mostly glad that there’s someone else around now to be the recipient of Huaisang’s incessant whining when he’s really putting on a performance. He clears his throat a little and schools his expression back towards pleasant neutrality when Mingjue looks down at him again, clearly unwilling to entertain his brother’s antics a moment longer than necessary.

“I think I’d like to settle in first,” he allows himself to say, and is perhaps mildly startled when Mingjue doesn’t question it, when he simply nods and lets Meng Yao be that tiny bit selfish.

“Come on in then, your room’s upstairs.”

Meng Yao follows Mingjue inside out of the sun and finds himself surrounded by an eclectic mix of antiques and modern minimalism; framed photos and bric-a-brac piled up in out-of-the-way corners of sleek monochrome shelves hemmed in on every side by enormous, dense furniture of the sort that reminds him of a time at least half a century ago, if not longer. The result is antiquated in a charming way with enough touches of modernity that he doesn’t think Mingjue is necessarily out of touch, just pragmatic about his home. If something old will still do, why replace it? It’s a mentality Meng Yao can appreciate, and he finds himself smiling a little again as he trails behind Mingjue up the stairs and down the short hallway to the room in the back corner.

“Here you go,” Mingjue says and slings both Meng Yao’s and Huaisang’s bags off his shoulder, which is precisely when Meng Yao realizes he’d been carrying their luggage in one hand like it weighs nothing. He notices it, allows himself two seconds to admire it, and promptly tucks that little tidbit away for future consideration. Later.

“I’ll be around, just holler if you need anything. I’m sure A-Sang will be in to bother you once he’s finished saying hi to the herd, I’ll let you enjoy the quiet while you’ve got it.”

“Thanks, Mingjue,” Meng Yao says with a smile, and it might be a moment of wishful thinking, or just his imagination, but he swears he sees Mingjue’s gaze drop to his mouth for a beat too long before the man nods and retreats. Meng Yao has no way to know if the flush on the back of Mingjue’s neck is from the sun or, maybe, something else.

–//–

Huaisang does come inside eventually, and though he has his own unpacking to do Meng Yao isn’t surprised at all when his friend comes to his room first to flop onto his bed and promptly make himself at home to start bugging him.

(He wouldn’t want or expect anything different.)

As Meng Yao hangs up shirts and trousers with far more care than they probably need, Huaisang regales him with stories from other trips to the ranch and a quick run-down of the personalities of the horses Mingjue keeps, both his own and some he boards for others who can’t keep their own animals for whatever reason. Meng Yao makes enough leading, noncommittal noises to keep his friend chattering as he settles in, though the chatter becomes decidedly less pleasant as far as background noise goes when Huaisang starts talking about getting Meng Yao to socialize.

Within moments it’s clear he already has a plan on how to do so, because of course he does, and of course it’s some stranger’s houseparty where Meng Yao will know absolutely no one at all.

“Absolutely not, Huaisang,” he says tartly, but of course Huaisang only takes that as an invitation to persuade him.

“This isn’t like parties back home, A-Yao, I promise!” he wheedles. Meng Yao just goes on unpacking his meager belongings into the antique dresser in the corner of his room that holds a window overlooking the equipment-littered space between the back porch and the horse barn, and he very pointedly does not rise to Huaisang’s bait. He’s still not immune to his best friend’s cajoling and they both know it, but he feels the need to deny him a little longer for the sake of his pride, if nothing else.

“Nothing here is like home, Huaisang, your argument is invalid,” he replies blithely and debates the merit of hanging his undershirts in the too-big closet with the rest of his clothes, rather than folding them up into a too-big drawer where they’ll just look sad on their own.

“Okay point taken, but seriously! You’ll have a nice time, it’ll be chill, I swear. Xichen-ge is coming, and he never goes anywhere things will get out of hand!”

A party tempting enough to interest Huaisang is typically guaranteed to be anything but ‘chill’, he doesn’t point out, but…well. Meng Yao had just said it himself — nothing here so far is like what they’ve come from, maybe Huaisang’s different here too. Maybe a party’s really not such a bad idea. And if it is, Mingjue, having already overheard Huaisang mentioning the party on his way past Meng Yao’s room with a load of clean laundry in his arms, has already made it very clear that he’s happy to either loan them his truck for the night or else drive them himself. Considering Meng Yao has no interest in drinking so much he wouldn’t be able to drive (because he, unlike his best friend, is a very functional city gay who can drive, thank you very much) it’s a guaranteed exit strategy, should he feel the need to escape.

Meng Yao ignores Huaisang’s pleading eyes for a few moments longer simply for the fun of it as he slides his undershirts onto clattering plastic hangers, and only smiles once his back is turned as Huaisang shouts his delight when Meng Yao sighs, “Well…I guess I’ve got nowhere better to go.”

–//–

This time, Huaisang did tell him the unvarnished truth.

It’s clear from the moment they pull up in the warm violet twilight that this party is nothing like the ones they frequent back home. It’s in someone’s actual house, for one, which he supposes isn’t too strange when not being hosted in a city made entirely of apartments and highrises, but the house itself is in the middle of a giant patch of…nothing. It’s just a house on a dirt lot full of pickup trucks in various stages of rusting, with lights strung everywhere possible on the wraparound porch (except that it’s not really a porch so much as it is a prefabricated metal roof over part of the patch of dirt and sparse grass ‘yard’). He’s pretty sure he even sees a barn lit up the same way some few hundred feet behind the house, but he can’t get a good look at it from here and decides to put it out of his mind.

“Let me know if you end up needing the truck,” Mingjue says over the sound of twanging guitar coming from someone’s massive speakers as they hop down (well he steps down out of the truck like he’s just crossing a threshold; Meng Yao and Huaisang are too vertically challenged to get down out of the thing without at least a little hop). “I’m gonna head in to grab a beer, you two want anything?”

“We’re good, da-ge!” Huaisang chirps, already eyeing up a cluster of guys all dressed nearly identically in tight jeans and threadbare flannels with the sleeves cut off and the resulting gaping holes fraying artlessly, with the main differentiating factor between them being if they’re wearing cowboy hats or baseball caps. Meng Yao glances between his options — Huaisang’s all-too-familiar thirsting over extremely lackluster men who don’t deserve him and Mingjue’s retreating figure carving a path through the crowd — and decides to take his chances with the latter, though he hangs back a little to give Mingjue space.

The house, when he steps inside, at least smells pretty much like what he’s used to at parties. Too many competing colognes and perfumes, the sticky sweetness of alcohol, and the haze of cigarette smoke are almost comforting like this, even as he promptly gets lost amongst the sprawling, dimly-lit rooms crowded with strangers nursing beers or chatting (read: feeling) each other up in dim corners. He finds a staircase in the middle of the house and uses it to orient himself as he wanders in several clockwise circles until he’s mapped out the living room, the den, the kitchen where he snags a beer from the 6’5” cowboy (he’s assuming he’s a cowboy based on the hat and the whole ‘house party on a farm in Montana’ thing) standing at the keg, the door to the back ‘porch’ that’s about as porch-like as the one out front, and an overcrowded room that seems to serve no purpose but to be a place to play beer pong.

He’s just circled his way back to the front door near the stairs once again when he finds his path blocked by someone turned away from him; someone broad and tall and wearing pale blue, which just seems like a mistake when any moment could end in spilled beer and flustered mopping up with a crumpled handful of napkins, perhaps even the removal of said shirt to get it in the upstairs bathroom sink to soak out the stain before it sets —

Alright so it’s been a while and a man has needs, especially when surrounded by ridiculously tall beefcakes on every side. Sue him.

Rather than spilling his shitty beer on this guy to see if he can get him to take his shirt off, Meng Yao clears his throat and taps the guy on his waist once, just the lightest touch of two fingers to body-warmed cotton, and the guy turns smoothly, an apology already on his lips.

“Oh, excuse me,” he says, hardly audible over the music jangling from the beer pong room. Meng Yao tilts his head back a bit — and then a bit more — to meet the guy’s gaze and he’s startled to find he’s also Asian. It takes him roughly three seconds to put two-and-two together when the guy smiles at him like he knows him and ducks down to talk a little closer. Meng Yao makes a conscious decision to stay very still to let him do it.

“Might you be Meng Yao?” he asks and Meng Yao can only nod dumbly. “Mingjue sent me to find you, would you like to come sit with us? Da-ge’s great for commandeering the couch at these things.”

Sitting down sounds great, Meng Yao thinks, especially when the crowd shifts enough for him to catch sight of the ratty old sofa in the living room to find Mingjue currently occupying it alone, manspread more than far enough to make it clear that no one else is sitting on that couch unless he invites them (and he doesn’t look like he’s in a particularly inviting mood).

“Are you sure?” Meng Yao asks, wary, but the man (who must be Mingjue’s best friend, Xichen) just smiles at him again and tips his head in that direction, gesturing vaguely with one of his bottles of beer as if for emphasis.

“Of course! Come on, you’ve had a long day of traveling and I wanted to apologize for not being able to meet you at the house this afternoon. Just sit with us for a while, we’ll introduce you around later if you want us to.”

Meng Yao finds it a pretty tough proposition to say no to so he just nods again and gestures with his own beer (in a stereotypical red Solo cup he’d been amused to receive) for Xichen to lead the way. It isn’t so far that Meng Yao worries about losing him in the crowd, really, but he doesn’t let that stop him from hooking an index finger through the center back belt loop on Xichen’s skin-tight jeans, ‘just in case’.  Xichen simply smiles at him over his shoulder as they pass through the nearly-black front hallway and into the scarcely-brighter living room, red Christmas lights around the ceiling and the overhead bulb in the kitchen through the other doorway the only lighting for the entire room.

“Hey, there you are,” Mingjue says as they approach, and though he swings one knee closer to straight in front of himself to manspread a little less he leaves his arm slung casually along the top of the back cushions, reaching up with his free hand to snag the beer Xichen had brought for him and taking a swig of it as Xichen joins him.

On the opposite end of the couch.

Meng Yao hides behind a sip of his own flat beer quickly warming to room temperature as he contemplates the small (small) space between them and, between one disappointing sip and the next, decides he’s feeling reckless enough after a long day of new things and the freedom of traveling so many miles from home that he’s just going to go for it, and fuck the consequences.

Xichen slings his arm over the rest of the back of the couch, fingertips brushing lightly against Mingjue’s elbow where they overlap. Meng Yao sits down right in between them, settles in, and pointedly ignores the way the tired old couch springs squeak in protest of their combined weight and how he seems to pull the other two in like a magnet. It’s like gravity, centers of balance shifting and leaning inwards into his orbit, the pair of them bracketing him on either side, parentheses made of denim and muscle and smiling mouths that he pretends not to notice creeping closer as they keep finding excuses to lean in closer over the course of the next few minutes, not at all subtle. They drift in, in, in to talk to him over the music until they’re both practically kissing him on the cheeks just to be heard as they chat about nothing much at all.

Meng Yao finishes his beer and lets Xichen take the empty cup from him to set aside, and when he leans back in even closer than a moment before, Meng Yao offers him a coy little smile of the sort that’s weakened tougher men than Xichen seems to be and drops his newly-freed hand on his knee, mirroring the caress on Mingjue’s knee with his free hand on the other side.

It would be more than accurate to say that Xichen melts like butter — melts so obviously, in fact, that Mingjue laughs at him, hides it in Meng Yao’s shoulder, and seems to need no further excuse to just set up camp there so he can start nuzzling the tip of his nose into the crook of Meng Yao’s neck until he’s shivering pleasantly and feeling very much like the cat that got the cream.

Huaisang was right — this has never happened to him in New York, but he’s perfectly happy that it’s happening to him now.

–//–

Nie Huaisang isn’t the type to say ‘I told you so’ in so many words, mostly because he doesn’t actually say what he’s really thinking in the first place.

But if he were the type, he’d be saying it right now to anyone who would listen as he sips at a beer some jumped-up bull rider pressed into his hand with enough flustered used-to-be-definitely-absolutely-straight-but-now-he’s-confused flirting that Huaisang had given him an extra kiss or three to apologize for giving him a little sexuality crisis.

Maybe it’s weird for him to be so pleased to see his brother and his brother’s live-in-something tag teaming Huaisang’s own best friend, but, well. Meng Yao works way too hard for very little in return, and Huaisang thinks he deserves nice things. He’s certainly not immune to the ample charms of his brother’s farmer/rancher neighbors at least for a hazy summer, and he’d known that Meng Yao wouldn’t be able to resist either no matter how many fuck-off-I’m-totally-independent vibes he gives off when they’re back home.

Naturally if Meng Yao weren’t interested in sex Huaisang would leave him alone about it, but since he’s not he’d known perfectly well that there would be no resisting not one but two handsome men who could throw him over their shoulders as easily as they do bales of hay or sheep that need shearing. So, to that effect — the scene in front of him. Huaisang watches just long enough to see Xichen turn Meng Yao’s face to his with a gentle finger under his chin to coax him in for a kiss where they’re snuggled up all three together on the couch and then makes his escape to find his own fun for the night.

It’s already looking like it’s going to be quite the summer, and Huaisang basks in the pleasure of a plan well-executed with no one the wiser.