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larothoughts · 3 months

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fem!jiggy thoughts (part 1: qinghe nie)

this is part of a larger mdzs au i definitely do NOT have time to write completely. but i've been turning it over in my head for days at this point and it needs to be written down else i forget everything.

basically, how drastically things would have changed with a genderbent meng yao.

(the following timeline is a mix between canons; basically it's the drama timeline without the yin-iron/puppets. but i'm even less familiar with the mdzs timeline as i am with svsss so forgive me for any errors;;;)

the brothel

now i fully believe meng shi, smart as she was and living in a brothel, would've done all she could to hide meng yao's true gender from the madam and her coworkers. this was her son, only meng shi is allowed to bathe him, his father will come back to retrieve him one day. secretly, she still taught meng yao that her father was a great man; that one day she wouldn't need to hide as he will surely take her in.

sisi, the only other person aware of meng yao's true gender, would've seen a young and already-pretty meng yao and been emboldened to pull her aside: 'do not go to lanling jin once your mother dies. not even being his daughter will protect you from jin guangshan.'

because jgs has a reputation amongst brothel workers, the working women of lanling, everyone except for the women he bedded and charmed. if meng yao had been a boy, then maybe sisi would've been assured that the worst jgs could do was throw him down koi tower. but as a girl, when meng yao was as pretty as her mother? no. absolutely not.

so when meng shi dies, sisi sneaks out a still cross-dressing meng yao and urges her to run as far away from the madam's reach as she could. she was still passably androgynous in her youth, but the minute the madam realized she was a girl, she'd force her to take on her mother's debt in her place. so meng yao runs.

qinghe nie

now sisi may have stressed the importance of not going to lanling jin as a no-name girl with a pretty face, but meng yao is tenacious. if she could build a reputation as a cultivator, then surely her father would at least be willing to hear her story out. to acknowledge her as a member of his family. (because meng shi was right too; if meng yao was legitimized as a jin, being a woman would no longer be as dangerous as it was for her now. she would have the power to finally dress and act the way she wants.) the yunmeng jiang sect is a bit too close to home for her comfort, so she goes to the next best sect accepting civilian members: qinghe nie.

one would think NOT being known as a bastard son of a whore would make her experience here much better. it doesn't. sure, the og!qinghe nie bullies liked to use his status to torment meng yao, but in the meritocratic no-bullshit environment chifeng-zun has established, it's strength that ultimately matters. and in both the og universe and in this one, meng yao just isn't as strong as the other recruits. being weak, effeminate and too-differential are all frowned upon traits for a man to be in qinghe nie; but in this au, meng yao would rather be bullied for weakness than be forced to give up cultivating altogether. it's not like female cultivators aren't allowed, just that female cultivators in qinghe nie are held at a higher physical standard. if anyone found out she was actually a girl, they'd take one look at her soft and petite frame and remove her from the ranks entirely. so meng yao grits her teeth and tries to make herself useful no matter how humiliating it is when her fellow disciples treat her more like a servant than a comrade.

then, nie mingjue comes across her half-dressed. she's mortified. the one person who should never know her real gender just walks up behind her, all because the other disciples had set her camp up across the pond as more bullying and she figured she'd use the privacy to her advantage. rather than demand answers or react with violence, however, chifeng-zun just frowns.

"I wasn't aware there were women in this squadron." "There... aren't," Meng Yao answers. She flushes slightly when Nie Mingjue's gaze flickers down to the still-visible swell of her breast, barely hidden beneath the robe she'd yanked over herself in panic. There is an awkward silence, one that fills her with skin-crawling dread. She has half a mind to throw her dignity away entirely and beg for mercy on her knees, but the man surprises her by turning his gaze away from her body out of... out of respect? The idea of a man not ogling her the way all men ogled women is strangely endearing. "Your name?" the sect leader finally says. It briefly crosses her mind to lie. It'll be a difficult but not impossible task to slip away from this squad and pretend to be recruited into another under a different alias. She's an expert disguise-artist when given enough time and determination; her work helping the brothel sisters prepare for the night beforehand was testament to that. Meng Yao wants to lie, because that's always been her first instinct in the face of danger. But from the way everyone spoke about Chifeng-zun, the righteous Nie Mingjue, Meng Yao suspects lying of any kind here may be her actual undoing. "Meng Yao," she answers him, decisive. "My name is Meng Yao."

the inner circle

no one is more shocked than meng yao when, only a few days later, chifeng-zun reassigns her to his personal squadron. he sees her contributions, recognizes her worth, and promotes her into the ranks as an inner disciple. and the cost of this promotion--and therefore unrestricted access to the nie library, where meng yao could finally, finally get her hands on a cultivation manual better suited to her than the dumb one handed out to new recruits--is the added job all members of chifeng-zun's squad must partake in sooner or later: babysitting nie huaisang.

in fact, this is her main job. meng yao is briefly offended that chifeng-zun assumes her gender makes her the perfect babysitter. she's only mollified at the promise of (1) aforementioned access to the nie library as an inner disciple, (2) the sect leader's promise to keep her true gender a secret from everyone but huaisang and (3) her job is less babysitter and more last-line-of-defense, the same as all his other squad members. the difference is, nie huaisang hates having to put up with the usual burly, no-nonsense nie cultivators silently judging his foppish pursuits. they ruin his aesthetic!

meng yao is still annoyed that mingjue assumes her being female means nie huaisang will better allow himself to be guarded (because feminine pursuits means he would prefer a female guard??) but... the man is trying. and having unrestrained access to both the young master and the sect leader is an advantage she'd be insane not to secure. even if her sudden promotion makes her relationship with the lower-ranked nie disciples even worse.

almost perfect

these years are, in hindsight, some of the best of meng yao's life. she dotes on huaisang as if he's her own little brother, finally manages to cultivate her golden core, and finds pride in clearing away qinghe nie's hidden enemies. she has mingjue's admiration and trust, and holds enough sway with the non-disciples to see her plans put into action. things are almost perfect, but for a few things: the lower-ranked disciples still view meng yao as a snake that slept 'his' way to the top of the hierarchy; and nie mingjue refuses to take her as his wife.

well, refuse is a strong word. more like 'will not offer,' a predicament huaisang laments alongside meng yao because just look at her! she'd be a perfect nie-furen! also i know you're sleeping together da-ge, yao-jie is discreet but you certainly aren't! no one even entertains the idea of meng yao being taken in as a concubine; the moment one of the mostly powerless nie elders tries to bring it up (a civilian, mingjue? a man??) the nie brothers shut it down.

the lack of proposal is not out of disrespect. it's because nie mingjue knows he's going to die young. marrying meng yao would require her to reveal her true gender to calm down the nie elders, and once known that information can't be taken back. leaving behind a widow and a non-combatant brother is a far more dangerous situation than leaving behind a non-combatant brother and his trusted attendant. leaving behind a widow related to jin guangshan is even worse. that power-hungry bastard would use any opportunity to gain ground, and his grieving daughter in qinghe nie would put the entire sect in jeopardy.

(mingjue would like to think meng yao would have more loyalty to qinghe than that, but even through rose-tinted glasses he knows meng yao is a practical woman. if it ensured her own safety and possibly huaisang's, she'd open the gates of qinghe nie herself. that was the entire point of meng yao telling him her background, a warning disguised as her detailing how useful she could be. it makes mingjue uneasy, the idea of what meng yao would do if backed into a corner. so he spends as much energy as possible to keep that from happening.)

the fall

meng yao takes nie huaisang to the gusu lan lectures again and again. tensions with the wen sect keep rising. xue yang is captured and taken into the qinghe nie dungeons, only to be broken out by wen cultivators less than a day later. in the ensuing battle, mingjue catches meng yao murdering the same former squad mate that used to steal credit for her victories. he sees her smile, her purposeful use of a wen-style attack, and how easy it is for her to switch from confident to 'terrified' once she realizes he sees her. the shift shakes something fundamental in him, the realization that this woman he loves is so capable of putting on a mask. that she put a mask on in front of him, when she'd once vowed never to do so unless it was for the good of the sect.

murdering the captain of her former squadron was not for the good of the sect.

before he can confront her, xue yang cuts his way through the last of the nie defenses and leaves one last parting gift via declaration: that wen rouhan was quite interested in the beautiful woman who'd stolen nie minjue's heart. that she could do so much better in nightless city, if she ever found herself wanting.

the aftermath of the escape is devastating. meng yao eschews dignity and does what she thought of doing the first time her gender was revealed: she gets down on her knees and begs for mingjue to let her stay as a nie disciple. already word has spread throughout qinghe nie and the wider gentry that meng yao is not just a woman, but a devious and power-grabbing one. that she hid her gender to get close to the sect leader, then engineered a perfect reveal to catch his attention. that she could have easily seized control of the entire sect before anyone had any idea of the threat she was.

mingjue, meanwhile, doesn't know what is and isn't true. he's questioning everything about meng yao, even their first meeting as insinuated by the rumors. it hurts him deeply that he can no longer trust her word; and it hurts her to lose his regard so absolutely.

in a world that favors men, mingjue wouldn't hesitate to kick male!meng yao out within the day. in this one, fem!meng yao is instead locked in her rooms until mingjue can come up with a solution that won't end in her certain death. because despite huaisang's begging, he is firm in the fact that meng yao cannot stay. not even taking into account mingjue and huaisang's feelings, the outrage amongst the nie disciples is enough they'd likely rebel if she remained. mingjue does not want to see meng yao slain by a disciple of his own sect. he doesn't, against his better judgment, want to see meng yao slain at all.

lanling jin

in a great twist of fate, huaisang points out the best solution is the plan meng yao gave up on so many years ago. for better or for worse, meng yao's name is now known across the gentry. she'd been a high-ranking member of qinghe nie for many years, is valued by both brothers and is still respected for her intelligence. mingjue keeps silent on the matter of their broken trust, their long-lasting affair, and any rumors other than the fact that meng yao is a woman. instead, he sends meng yao to lanling jin with a retinue of disciples from his personal squadron, as well as an apology gift for besmirching the honor of jin guangshan's daughter.

he sends her to koi tower with a glowing letter of recommendation and an earnest request for jin guangshan to take care of someone both nie brothers care about greatly. jin guangshan reads the two letters through gritted teeth, sat in front of the stoic nie retainers bracketing meng yao on either side. with meng yao's name and accomplishments on everyone's minds, with the thinly-veiled threat of nie retribution in those damn letters-- jin guangshan cannot hide her away as he would his other bastards.

he has no choice but to accept meng yao into lanling jin as his daughter, even with his wife glaring daggers at him all the while.

it is the last gift mingjue is willing to give meng yao. if not his hand, fulfilling her dream is the next best thing he can offer. unfortunately, as with most things in meng yao's life, it is simply not enough.

a few weeks later, the cloud recesses burn.

#i'll write part two later #covering xiyao and the sunshot campaign #mingjue did ask meng yao if she was trans but she said no #mingjue is openly bi so the idea of male!yao sleeping his way to the top doesn't come out of nowhere #nie mingjue #meng yao #jin guangyao #fic writing ideas #mdzs #general 3zun feels #femyao verse #nieyao

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thatswhatsushesaid · 10 months

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I have also only seen so much of Love Between Fairy and Devil, but I’ve definitely gotten there being lots of body swapping from the gif posts on here. With that in mind, I give you: xiyao body swapping AU, complete with having to kiss to switch back and forth.

How long can they get away with it? How long before LXC is gunning for JGS on principle? How much of this can LWJ take before he becomes a wandering cultivator to avoid knowing what his big brother is up to all the time? So many questions.

anon i don't have any specific thoughts about this scenario--yet. but i just wanted to let you know that i love the idea of this AU and would actually die if someone took this premise and ran with it. 👀

questions: what would prompt something like this in the mdzs universe? a cursed artifact, a statue, a spell of some kind gone awry? and of course the timing of the AU could raise the stakes dramatically, especially if it takes place during the sunshot campaign. would lxc be able to maintain meng yao's cover? i'm actually less worried about meng yao being able to fool people into believing he's lxc, because i think he could do it. ...well. i think he could fool everyone but lwj, anyway.

#asks answered #xiyao #just kidding it looks like i had some thoughts after all

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cqlfic · 3 years

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love, in fire and blood

link to AO3 AUTHOR: cicer (@cicerfics) E, 360042 words, 32/32

RELATIONSHIPS: Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian BLURB: immortal!wwx marries lwj in exchange with winning sunshot

SUMMARY:

"You want Wen Ruohan dead," the Patriarch continued idly. "You want his corpse puppets eliminated. You want his halls burned to the ground and his soldiers disemboweled and begging for mercy. Have I about covered it?"

He gave another knife-edged smile.

"But what will you give me in return?"

"We would be willing to offer quite a bit in return for Wen Ruohan's defeat," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I'm afraid we don't know what an immortal such as yourself desires. Please advise us."

The Patriarch waved at hand at the front of the tent. "I want Second Young Master Lan."

(In which the Sunshot Campaign ends through an arranged marriage to the Yiling Patriarch, and Lan Wangji suffers the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband.)

graphic depictions of violence, alternate universe - canon divergence, yiling laozu wei ying | wei wuxian, arranged marriage, political scheming, gratuitous domesticity, mutual pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom lwj in chapter 20 and 27, background xiyao - freeform, background nieyao, background nielan - freeform, endgame nielan, do not repost to another site

[link to all bookmarks]

#fic recs #the untamed #r:lwj/wwx #a:cicer #a:cicerfics #ao3 #a regular re-read #this is one of the 4 fics i have permanently open on my phone #i have the title memorized no blurb needed #i have specific phrases and chapters memorized so i can ctrl-F my way to the exact scenes i want to re-read #(and it usually turns into me just continuing and re-reading the whole thing starting from where i ctrl-F'ed)#this is all to say:#this fic is one of my favorite things in the world and i could honestly ramble on ENDLESSLY but (1) that'd give spoilers and (2) the tags #are already too long! i ran out of character space in the previous tag but this fic deserves all the words and tags and love #do NOT get me started bc i WILL go on forever. a threat and a promise

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isabilightwood · 3 years

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Fanfic Masterpost

CQL/MDZS

In this world without a compass - the Fierce Corpse Wen Qing AU, where Wen Qing gives Wei Wuxian the push he needs to confess and learns to live for herself.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Lan Sizhui/A-Qing (minor, came out of nowhere) (Complete, E, 101k)

Built by the fires of volcanoes - The end of the world was not Wei Wuxian’s fault. In fact, he’d slept through the event that doomed them.

After the Sunshot Campaign, 3zun threw the Yin Iron into the volcano at Nightless City. This was a bad idea. Twenty years later, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji travel back in time to prevent a hybrid volcanic eruption-zombie apocalypse. But their plan is going well, so there's plenty of time to relive their youths, convince the Dafan Wen to let them adopt their son, and matchmake friends and sisters.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Wen Qing/Mianmian, Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, background 3zun and Nie Huaisang/Wen Ning (Complete, T, 26k)

The problem with authority - When Qin Su learns the truth about Jin Guangyao after the death of her son, she sacrifice summons Jiang Yanli. It goes slightly sideways.

Jiang Yanli isn’t exactly one for revenge. But she does want her brother back, and the cultivation world could do with a bit of fixing. A resurrected Wei Wuxian is all too happy to help. But taking down Jin Guangyao would be easier if Lan Wangji stopped accidentally getting in the way.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli/Wen Qing, background (unhealthy) Xiyao (Complete, M, 143k)

Winged cupid painted blind - Lan Zhan walks in on his best friends hooking up and accidentally proposes a threesome. It all works out in the end.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Friends with Benefits Wei Wuxian/Mianmian, background Qingmian (Complete, E, 6k)

Points for style - Wei Wuxian thinks he's getting together with the love of his life. LWJ thinks he's hooking up with a hot guy dressed like the cover of a romance novel. Turns out masquerades are a great place for anonymous hook ups, and a terrible place for confessions

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, very background Xuanli, Qingmian, and Xiyao (Complete, E, 12k)

Through all the in-betweens - Arranged Marriage Fix-it where Lan Wangji deals with pre-wedding nerves poorly, a certain Jin patriarch is overinvested in wedding consummations, and Lan Xichen channels Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji (Complete, E, 13k)

So hot you're hurting my feelings - Lan Zhan meets a cute boy, misinterprets Wei Ying's attempt to ask him out, and spends months pining for his own boyfriend.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Wen Qing/Jiang Yanli (Complete, E, 40k)

Sweet beneath sharp edges - Lan Wangji arrives at Nevernight Manor expecting a quick exorcism, but his host is startlingly uncooperative. There's seemingly no ghost or monster to be found -- whatever Wen Ruohan's elderly stepmother says -- but he's subjected to nightly parties and jazz music. Worse, the irreverent gardener, Wei Wuxian, is far too handsome for Lan Wangji's good, but he can't stay away, even as he becomes increasingly convinced that the glittering façade is not what it seems. And something isn't quite right with Wei Wuxian himself.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Qingmian (Complete, E, 31k)

Inevitable everything - The Yiling Laozu demands Lan Wangji's hand in marriage in exchange for his aid in the failing Sunshot Campaign. Or so it seems.

Three months earlier, Lan Wangji is rescued from the Xuanwu of Slaughter's cave by a handsome man with a brilliant smile who wields a power he always believed corrupting and uncontrollable as easily as breathing.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Wen Qing/Mianmian, Jin Zixuan/Jiang Yanli (Complete, E, 193k)

red strings and eager hands - Wei Wuxian is not invited to Jin Ling's one month celebration. Jin Zixun attacks him anyway. When Lan Wangji attempts to intervene, Wei Wuxian thinks he's betrayed him. The best way to prove him wrong? Putting himself at the Yiling Laozu's mercy. Lan Wangji has no regrets.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji (Complete, E, 10k)

doing the wrong thing wholeheartedly - Long-time rivals Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are sent to rid a seaside town of a sea monster, but thanks to monster chasing tourists, there's one room left at the only hotel in town -- the honeymoon suite.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Wen Qing/Mianmian (Complete, E, 19k)

save the party until it's time to bake - After another successful assassination, Wei Ying is summoned back home and given a new assignment: kill Wen Chao, the Second Prince of the Qishan Empire while he's visiting their small independent system. Arrogant, careless Wen Chao should be an easy target, but for some reason, Lan Zhan, Wei Ying's old best friend and new roommate, seems determined to thwart him.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Jiang Yanli/Wen Qing/Mianmian/Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang/Mo Xuanyu (Complete, E, 24k)

something wicked - Wei Ying runs a magical coffee shop where he helps the living work out their problems and makes coffee for ghosts. So when his best friend is turned into a bunny with a curse that can only be broken by True Love's Kiss, he tries to help Lan Zhan find The One. This would be so much easier if Wei Ying wasn't in love with him.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Jiang Yanli/Wen Qing/Jin Zixuan (Complete, T, 14k)

practicing our mistakes - When his father pushes him to join a competition for Crown Princess Jiang Yanli's hand, Lan Wangji blurts out that he’s already courting Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian agrees, in exchange for his help convincing Wen Qing to join the competition and win. Unfortunately for their plans, the Emperor of Lanling’s nephew is cheating his way through the competition, and if he wins, the entire Kingdom of Yunmeng will fall into a deep sleep that could last centuries.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji must keep up the courting act in front of their parents and prevent the curse from taking effect, all while ignoring their very real feelings.

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Jiang Yanli/Wen Qing (Complete, E, 50k)

lovely thorns and singing crows - On the day of his father's funeral, Lan Zhan receives a box of letters from his long-missing mother. His quest to find her leads him to a spooky, kooky, and loving family who just might want him to stay forever. (And of course, to the man of his dreams).

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, background Qin Su/Wen Qing (Complete,

Gen V

none is left to protest - When Marie's mysterious benefactor intervenes to prevent her expulsion and secure her place in the School of Crimefighting, Jordan sees her as a threat, albeit a distractingly beautiful one. They're not sure how they go from seeing her as the competition to irrevocably head over heels, but it probably has something to do with her smile.

Or, Luke doesn't kill Brink (yet), and Jordan and Marie have time to fall in love.

Star Wars

Series: There are no endings, only new beginnings:

Ahsoka runs through a portal in the Lothal Jedi Temple, and finds herself seventeen years in the past. Only to find everything is slightly different - her seventeen-year-old past self was just executed, Obi-wan is missing, and Anakin fell eight months early, prompting Order 66 just after her arrival. With only her questionably useful knowledge of the Empire as a guide, Ahsoka finds herself helping to build a rebellion from scratch. Again. But this time, with a few more Jedi left in the galaxy.

Part 1: One door closes, another opens - Ahsoka time travels, Obi-wan saves Satine, Padmé lives (Complete, 41k)

Part 2: The road to hell - Ventress lives ft. Vader (Dark Disciple AU)(Complete, 11k)

Part 3: Paved with good intentions - Ahsoka tries to convince an 18 year old version of her ex-girlfriend to trust her, Kanan is an angsty teenager and tired of babysitting, Satine struggles to find her place in a galaxy where pacifism can't win, Obi-wan searches for equilibrium. None of these problems can be solved with sarcasm, but they'll certainly try (Complete, 37k)

Part 4: Time to Toss the Dice - Series of interconnected one shots as the twins grow up, because the Empire won't fall in a day, or even a year. (on hiatus, 70k)

What to do when the Empire Kidnaps Your Husband (Lyra Erso)

The Domestic Adventures of Kit Fisto, Single Father of Thirty

Bo-Katan Kryze's Guide to Acing this Duchess Thing

It Takes a Village to Raise a Skywalker (multi POV)

Fives

Kix's Ten Step Program for Beating Brainwashing

Kanan vs. His On Pre-Frontal Cortex

Padmé vs The Essence of Tyranny (aka Propaganda)

Next: Twenty-Five Years and Counting (Obitine)

That one FDTD character study from ages ago

all the good she did not do - a short season 3 Kate Fuller character study (Complete, 1.6k)

#my fic #for reference #apologies if this shows up in the tags #seemed like 8 fics on AO3 was the right time to make a masterpost

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gingersnapwolves · 4 years

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Follow up fic-related post to my Untamed primer, for those who specifically read this whole thing in order to be able to read my fanfiction! Firstly, I’m flattered. Y’all are amazing. Secondly, here’s a handy dandy list of my fics that might help you get started. (There’s tons and tons of great fanfics in this fandom, though, so you should explore if you feel so inclined!)

First of all, um, I feel compelled to write a disclaimer about all my Xiyao fic lmao. Writing the last two sections of this I was like ‘ugh, Jin Guangyao is the worst’ but like ... he wasn’t always? It feels weird to say, but I ship Lan Xichen with Meng Yao but not Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Meng Yao was genuinely treated very poorly all his life and had legitimate reasons to be bitter and resentful, but he didn’t turn into a monster until after his father got a hold of him. I know that not everybody will agree with that! But I just want to say, after writing those last two chunks I wanted to clarify, yes, I write a ton of Xiyao, but it is all based around the idea that although Meng Yao is morally ambiguous and can absolutely be ruthless when necessary, with actual love and support he wouldn’t end up being so terrible, and I love the idea of turning all that conniving cleverness for good instead of evil.

Anyway, moving on!

I’ve written two fanfics that are complete AU, fusions with other media. These might help you get used to reading in the fandom without worrying about all the plot nuances and politics and such.

Like a House on Fire – loose fusion with 9-1-1, characters as first responders, Wangxian and Xiyao

The Weight of the World – fusion with Pacific Rim, Wangxian and Xiyao

Here are the others, by canon divergence point. Worth pointing out, I have actually only written one fic that take place in the latter half of the show (in fact, it’s post canon). Although some of my fics have young Wen Yuan or Jin Ling in them, I don’t generally deal with the 16 year gap because it’s just too damn depressing for me. So sadly, I don’t really write about the juniors. The juniors are great! And I’m sure there are great fics about them! But I’m invested in fix-it fic, which means making sure that 16-year-gap doesn’t happen.

Also probably worth pointing out: the older the fics are, the more likely I was to make factual errors in them. Like in my first fic, I didn’t realize Meng Yao’s mother was dead, because it’s never explicitly mentioned, and in several of my earlier fics I got the pieces of yin iron confused all to hell and back lol. Be kind. XD

Canon diverges prior to or right at the beginning of the timeline:

An Atypical Courtship – Meng Yao becomes a prostitute after his mother dies. Additional bonus AU because Wen Ruohan isn’t evil and there’s no war because I didn’t feel like dealing with it. Mainly Xiyao, background Wangxian.

The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen – Wei Wuxian is adopted by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s family, instead of the Jiang sect. This might actually be a good one to start with as it covers almost the entire canon (pre-death canon) but just slightly to the left. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing.

somewhere to belong (WIP!) – Meng Yao stays in Cloud Recesses for the lecture and makes friends. 3zun (the pairing name for Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen/Meng Yao) and background Wangxian.

Canon diverges prior to the Sunshot Campaign:

hope dangling by a string – Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up psychically connected and it prevents a whole host of misunderstandings. Also covers a lot of canon but slightly to the left. Wangxian and Chengqing.

Canon diverges after the Sunshot Campaign:

No More Masks – Meng Yao isn’t legitimized and goes to live at Cloud Recesses after the war. If you want to know why I’m obsessed with Xiyao, this is the fic to read as it’s the one I wrote to specifically indulge. Mainly Xiyao, some Meng Yao/Xue Yang, background Wangxian.

Aftermath – Jiang Yanli kills Jin Guangshan in self defense when he tries to assault her. Without him around after the Sunshot Campaign, everything goes much better. Mostly focuses on the sibling relationships, but also has Xuanli, Wangxian, and a little light Xiyao and Chengqing.

The Lost Cause – Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao team up to murder Jin Guangshan. It’s more fun than it should be. Mainly gen, background Wangxian.

the cycle of regret – Lan Wangji gets stuck in a groundhog day loop of trying to save Wei Wuxian just before his death. Wangxian only.

Canon diverges after Wei Wuxian’s death:

picking up the pieces (WIP!) – Jiang Cheng is killed at the massacre of Nightless City instead of Jiang Yanli. She then convinces Lan Wangji to come live with her at Lotus Pier and raise their kids together. Actually fairly gen, Wangxian later.

The Way it Wasn’t – Jiang Cheng wishes that Wei Wuxian had never existed, only to find out that without him, they lost the war. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing hints.

where do we begin (the rubble or our sins) – Wei Wuxian survives falling off the cliff, resurrects Jiang Yanli, and ends up with amnesia. Wangxian only.

Post canon:

the hardest part of ending (is starting again) – Wen Ning and Lan Xichen comfort each other after going through hell. Mainly gen, hints at future Ningchen, background Wangxian.

again, if you have any questions, either while reading the summaries or while reading any of my fics, feel free to ask me! <3

#the untamed #fic stuff

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lady-of-the-lotus · 4 years

Text

Fractured Ice - Ch. 3/7

Xue Yang whisks a solipsistic Lan Xichen off on a murder roadtrip to raise Xiao Xingchen and Meng Yao from the grave. Because that will solve all of their problems, right?

Your hand,” he says. He can’t think straight, but that much he knows to say. “Show me your hand, and I’ll tell you what he said.”

There’s no hesitation in the imposter’s movements. He unwinds the bandages, drops them to the floor, and eyes the naked clan leader evenly.

A black glove. The glove is distinctively fingerless save for the cloth-covered little finger, which sticks up stiffly.

“...Xue Yang.”

XueXiao & XiYao - Rated M

Read on AO3! Tumblr: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 4

Ch. 3: shadows and monsters

Lan Xichen doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, staring at the guqin, before Xiao Xingchen—

No. Not Xiao Xingchen.

—before the liar—the fraud—the imposter speaks.

“Well?” The imposter’s face is white, voice strained, eyes hot, but he’s sitting very, very still. “What did he say?”

That’s the last thing Lan Xichen is certain of for a while. Those words: What did he say? ringing in his ears, the desperation in the imposter’s eyes, and then, abruptly, icy-cold water on his skin, frigid water flowing around him, as he kneels naked in the stream outside.

The crane is nowhere to be seen, but Xiao—the imposter is on the bank. Sitting on a rock, as if he’s been there for a long time.

“Come on out, Zewu-jun,” he says coaxingly, as if he’s trying to lure a cat off a roof. Lan Xichen’s clothes are draped over his arm and there’s a blanket on his lap. “Let’s talk.”

Lan Xichen doesn’t remember crawling out of the stream any more than he remembers entering it, but he must have, because suddenly he’s being wrapped in the blanket and bundled back into the house.

The imposter sets the clothes down on a chair in Lan Xichen’s old bedroom and stands beside the bed.

“What did he say?” he asks. “He’s in there, isn’t he? I knew he was! I knew he wasn’t gone—”

Lan Xichen barely hears him. He’s almost completely numb, either from the icy stream or shock, but he’s almost certain he’s floating above the bed.

He tilts his head towards the imposter.

“Your hand,” he says. He can’t think straight, but that much he knows to say. “Show me your hand, and I’ll tell you what he said.”

There’s no hesitation in the imposter’s movements. He unwinds the bandages, drops them to the floor, and eyes the naked clan leader evenly.

A black glove. The glove is distinctively fingerless save for the cloth-covered little finger, which sticks up stiffly.

“...Xue Yang.”

The words hang in the air between them, blazing with the full heat of the betrayal, but Xue Yang doesn’t so much as blink.

Instead he claps slowly, grinning as if he’s enjoying himself. “Excellent detective work, Zewu-jun. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, tell me, what did he say?”

“Xue Yang,” Lan Xichen repeats. He’s not sure what he expected, but it was not this. He struggles to put names and events together, find some explanation, but his mind is a throbbing blank. “Xue Yang.”

There’s a knife in Xue Yang’s hand. He’s still grinning, but it’s a grin full of fangs. “Tell me what he said,” he says, “and I won’t slice your face off.”

Lan Xichen hears someone laughing, realizes it’s him, but he can’t stop. He’s overwhelmed with it, suffused with it, completely awash with amusement, laughter gushing through him and clawing its way out through his throat.

And then Xue Yang is laughing too, his knife back wherever it came from, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

It’s a long time before either of them get themselves under control. Lan Xichen feels warm despite the wet hair sticking to his bare shoulders. That old swelling, growing feeling is back in his chest, and he could swear that he’s glowing in the dimness.

“Nothing matters,” he informs Xue Yang. The monster has brought the chair over beside the bed and is sitting on Lan Xichen’s robes, feet up on the bed. “Nothing at all.”

“I guess not,” says Xue Yang. He tilts his head at Lan Xichen. “And, as that’s the case, maybe you can tell me what he said?”

“ ‘Xiao Xingchen.’ ”

Xue Yang closes his eyes in a kind of ecstasy. “He said that?”

“His name would be impossible to confuse with any other words.”

A shudder passes through Xue Yang. “I knew he was still in there,” he says. “I knew it—” He opens his eyes. “I did it,” he says. “ I brought him back, I nursed his spirit—”

Lan Xichen wants to ask him about how Xiao Xingchen ended up in the bag. Not for any real reason. Just base curiosity. It doesn’t matter, after all. He had been right, after all, no matter what Lan Qiren had tried to convince him of. The world is all shadows, all shades, all layers upon layers of curtains and veils.

It can wait.

“My brother didn’t recognize you,” he says.

Xue Yang points to his face. His voice is steady, but his hand trembles slightly. “Face-mirroring talisman. Itchy, but it comes in handy. I didn’t stick around long, though.”

Another layer, another curtain. Lan Xichen is glad of it. More proof that nothing is real, that nothing matters, that he can finally let go.

“Let me see your true face.”

He expects an argument, but Xue Yang just sighs and grips the side of his face. Tugs, peels off his skin. Drops the mask into the pitcher of water he’s set beside the bed and turns to Lan Xichen.

“A bit of a downgrade,” he says, rubbing at the skin around his jaw and temples, “but I haven’t gotten many complaints.”

He’s quite good-looking, actually, in a jarringly youthful, innocent way. Far different from the elegant beauty of the mask. Softer, with no sharp angles anywhere on him, and a well-formed nose. A surprise. Lan Xichen had never actually met him despite Xue Yang’s years as a Jin Clan guest disciple, but the idea of him as a grotesque monster has been fixed in his mind since his slaughter ( supposed slaughter, reminds himself) of the Chang Clan. His voice is lighter than before, almost flippant, with nothing of the genteel tones he’d used to impersonate Xiao Xingchen.

“And underneath?” Lan Xichen asks.

Xue Yang raises an eyebrow. “Underneath?”

Lan Xichen leaves it alone. He’ll peel off the next layer when he’s ready, shed his skin, reveal another level of reality.

“Xue Yang was always described to me as a madman,” Lan Xichen says. “But you…”

“By a group of self-righteous fucks who met me for five minutes as an adolescent?” Xue Yang grins. The half-feral grin feels more natural when coupled with this face, deceivingly innocent as it is, as does the intensity of his eyes and foul language. “Perhaps they were right. Perhaps they were wrong. Does that really matter to Zewu-jun?”

Lan Xichen doesn’t respond. It’s true, Wangji and Wei Wuxian had only met Xue Yang for the few days it took to travel to the Unclean Realm, and Nie Mingjue had only interrogated Xue Yang once.

All three had been unanimous in their verdict that Xue Yang was not right in the head. A sadistic monster with no true emotion, an animal who killed for pleasure instead of necessity.

A-Yao, though…

Jin Guangshan had pushed A-Yao to take a special interest in the young man after all the hoopla over the Chang Clan massacre, and A-Yao had dropped a few words to him about Xue Yang over the years, mostly in response to Nie Mingjue’s tantrums over Xue Yang’s death sentence having been commuted to life imprisonment.

He can hear A-Yao’s voice in his head as if it were yesterday.

“Xue Yang is not a madman,” he had told Lan Xichen during one of their late-night talks. A-Yao had been lounging in his most casual robes, the collar open, belt loosely tied. “He has violent tendencies, yes, and I can see why the false rumors were spread about him. He is often quite rude—” being rude, going by A-Yao’s tone, was a worse trait than any potential for sociopathy “—but he is deceptively clever, hard-working, and brimming with raw talent. The Jin Clan needs more disciples like him.”

And a different time: “If only he had been instructed from childhood, he would have been one of the greats by now.” And then, as if rethinking that, “Or perhaps not. He sits outside of everything. Sometimes I think that is his greatest strength.”

There had been a sense of envy in the way A-Yao spoke the words “outside of everything.” A-Yao, who had spent his entire life doing everything in his power to get on the inside, to climb to the top of the pyramid.

Lan Xichen hadn’t understood it then.

He did now.

He looks at Xue Yang. The delinquent cultivator is sitting with one arm dangling indolently over the side of his chair, his feet still up on the bed frame, not even trying to hide his smile. He’s staring at the ceiling as if counting something invisible up there, twirling his hair with his good hand.

Rule 8: Do not sit with a disgraceful pose.

Xue Yang gives a cheery little wave when he notices Lan Xichen’s attention. Despite everything, the young man looks so—so innocent —

A-Yao had been certain that Xue Yang had not been responsible for the Chang Clan massacre.

Perhaps he had been right, despite what Nie Mingjue had very emphatically believed.

Lan Xichen should ask Xue Yang about it.

He knows he should.

Demand a full account of the slaughter—

But, “Were you flirting with me before?” he hears himself asking instead. He doesn’t think he’s ever spoken that ridiculous, adolescent word out loud, but it’s the only one he can think of that fits.

Xue Yang starts. “What?”

Lan Xichen is thinking of A-Yao’s half-open robes. A-Yao had never so much as made a move—chaste as his marriage was, he’d valued his vows and Qin Su too much to betray them like that—but during their time living together in cramped inns before the Sunshot Campaign, there had been little privacy, and he had not been above an occasional open robe, the occasional outfit change in front of Lan Xichen out of necessity, the occasional soft look when he thought Lan Xichen wasn’t looking, and after his marriage he hadn’t bothered breaking himself of those habits during their late-night talks.

Things Lan Xichen had always dismissed. A-Yao, he knew, had an almost obsessive dread of anyone associating him with his mother’s profession in any way. Had never said anything that could be taken the wrong way, be it to a man or a woman. Dressed neatly and simply. Never indulged in off-color jokes or humor, avoided so much as traveling through the low parts of town, had always been uncomfortable when certain topics came up.

But if he’s right about Xue Yang, perhaps his judgment isn’t so far off after all, and if so, that might mean that A-Yao—

“Before,” he explains. “Because I can’t always tell.”

Xue Yang laughs. His knife is back in his hand, but there’s no threat there anymore. He seems to like fidgeting with things—the knife, his hair, that leaf. He tosses the blade idly into the air, catching it deftly.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d say no to a pretty young man,” he admits.

“You were trying to…” Lan Xichen forces his tongue to form the words, uncomfortable as they feel in his mouth “… seduce me into helping you?”

Xue Yang shrugs. “I’ve done far worse trying to get him back than fuck another man.”

So Lan Xichen’s paranoia was justified, for once, but instead of this knowledge grounding him, it all strikes him as the funniest thing he’s ever heard. That Xue Yang should think infidelity is the issue here. That Xue Yang should have zero shame about it when all Lan Xichen has ever felt about anything that deviated slightly from the straight and narrow has been shame.

It’s all just so—so funny .

He shakes with silent laughter beneath his damp blanket, laughs until tears drip from his chin, till his ribs ache and throat is sore.

“What now?” he asks when the fit has subsided. Xue Yang is still tossing the knife up and down, patiently waiting for him to come back to himself. “What was your plan, exactly?”

Xue Yang straightens up. “You’re going to help me?”

“Of course not. But I’m curious.” Saying this out loud feels indescribably…luxurious is the wrong word, but it’s the one that comes to mind. Curiosity for curiosity’s sake has always been frowned upon in the Cloud Recesses. There is no single rule against it, but it violates a cross-section of rules ranging from admonishments to mind one’s own business to rules forbidding idle speculation.

Xue Yang is staring at his bandaged hand. “I was going to tell you that I know for a fact that there’s a ritual for bringing someone back to life in that forbidden library of yours, and, in exchange for you helping me bring back Xiao Xingchen, I would do everything in my power to help you bring back Jin Guangyao despite the fact that the little weasel did his best to murder me.”

“Execute you.”

Xue Yang shrugs. “Murder, execute, same thing.”

“What could you do?”

Xue Yang looks up from his hand. “Everything you aren’t willing to.”

“Get out.”

“But—”

“Get the hell out.”

Xue Yang reaches into his qiankun sleeve, pulls out a second spirit-trapping pouch, and sets it on the table.

“For your friend,” he says, and leaves.

* * * * *

Lan Xichen stares at the small brown pouch for a long time after Xue Yang leaves.

It stares back at him.

He gets out of bed, blanket pulled tightly around his naked body, and begins to pace the room, pouch in hand, rubbing his cheek on the soft material.

He feels—feels—feels surprisingly good , actually.

Nothing is real. Nothing matters.

And if nothing matters, if nothing is real, then A-Yao’s crimes don’t matter, his crimes aren’t real. All that’s real is the fact that A-Yao is trapped forever in a coffin with a vindictive spirit, stranded in limbo, never to ascend to the afterlife.

A-Yao. His A-Yao.

Nothing’s real, nothing matters.

Nothing but the fact that he wants him back.

Nothing’s real, nothing matters.

Nothing but the fact that the thought of A-Yao makes him happy. That emotion is real. Nothing around him is real, but the feelings inside him are, and right now the thought of A-Yao standing before him again makes his chest swell with warmth, makes him feel like he can jump swordless off the roof and soar, swoop through the air, glide over the treetops and fill his lungs with starlight.

Perhaps he has spent the night flying, soaring above it all. It’s almost morning when he returns fully to himself, standing naked in his mother’s courtyard, inhaling the moonlight, A-Yao’s spirit-trapping pouch still in his hand.

He throws his clothes on and hurries to Xue Yang’s room, yanking the door open so hard he rips the lock off.

Shocked awake, Xue Yang shoots upright, snatching the ornate knife resting on the bed frame. Shuanghua’s frosted white hilt peeks up from under the covers.

“Oh, it’s just you,” he says, breathing hard. He’s still gripping the knife, as if trying to ground himself with the feel of the cold metal on his skin and reassuring weight in his hand. “I almost bit my tongue off!”

“The library,” Lan Xichen says. “Now.”

Xue Yang bites his lip so hard he draws blood.

* * * * *

They spend all morning in the library. All day. All night.

All week.

“You said you knew for a fact that there’s a way to bring them back,” Lan Xichen says on the eighth day. “How do you know this?”

They’re sitting in the main library, eating a very late supper. Eating is forbidden in the library, but nobody dared refuse the Clan Leader’s orders.

Daily Tally:

Rule 40: Speaking during mealtimes is forbidden

Rule 43: Eating is prohibited inside the library

Rule 44: Eating is forbidden outside mealtimes

Rule 528: Do not conceal your intentions

Rule 2,007: Abuse not your authority

Rule 1,959: Reject the crooked road

And, of course, Rule 52: Do not befriend the evil , and the fifty-odd rules relating to demonic cultivation.

Xue Yang looks up from the honey-fried dumplings Lan Xichen specially ordered for him. Nobody has ever looked less evil. His mask is off, resting in a bowl of water beside him, and he looks like a sixteen-year-old who had led a particularly blameless life, albeit a particularly blameless life that’s kept him from getting enough sleep. “Did I say that?”

“Clearly.”

Xue Yang eats a few dumplings before answering. His table manners were better when he was pretending to be Xiao Xingchen. Lan Xichen wonders if he’s intentionally trying to provoke him by keeping his elbows on the table. If so, he’s failed. If anything, Lan Xichen finds the delinquent cultivator—the madman—the monster—fascinating. He’s so utterly different from anyone Lan Xichen has ever known.

He wonders how A-Yao got on with Xue Yang, his mirror opposite. Much as he’s always tried to suppress it, Lan Xichen has always had a taste for the absurd, and he regrets that he never got to witness them interacting.

Well, if all goes well, he’ll have that opportunity soon enough.

“I must have been talking about that thing I saw once,” Xue Yang shrugs finally, licking honey from his lips.

Lan Xichen resists the urge to remind him of Rule 23, Speak clearly . It’s hard to shake decades of being trained to think a certain way, to see rule infractions in every innocuous interaction. “What ‘thing’?”

“A page from a book originating here in this library. It discussed a ritual, but didn’t have all of the details.”

“Do you have the page?”

“It was destroyed in a fire, my luck.”

“What book was it from?”

“I don’t know. It was torn out. I’ve been looking for a book with a torn page.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me sooner?”

Xue Yang shrugs again. “Then you’d only be looking for a torn book instead of looking for potential alternatives. For example, at first I thought we could find the location of Baoshan Sanren’s mountain somewhere in the books, though it’s become clear that that’s impossible. No sense in closing off other potential avenues.”

Lan Xichen rises with a sigh. “Put your face back on. We’re leaving.”

Wrinkling his nose, Xue Yang replaces his face and follows Lan Xichen from the library to his chambers.

“Is this what you’re looking for?” Lan Xichen pulls an elegantly-carved blue chest from under his bed. Inside are bundles of books, scrolls, and wooden slips. Each has a portion missing, a page torn out, a section mysteriously shortened.

“Intellectual mice?”

Lan Xichen doesn’t respond. Xue Yang doesn’t need to know that he spent days going through the forbidden pavilion after Guanyin Temple, removing everything A-Yao had gotten to.

He seats himself at his table while Xue Yang goes through the chest. Touching the same books that A-Yao touched is too much right now.

He’s glad he hadn’t put A-Yao’s hat in the same box.

Xue Yang talks non-stop as he rifles through the chest. “…Not many cookbooks vandalized, I’ll guess. The food at Koi Tower was always good. Too oily though. Hell on your stomach, but no need to steal recipes from the Lan, of all people—Ah. Here it is.” Grinning, he holds up an ancient-looking book with unraveling binding and no title. “Let’s take a look, shall we?” He sets it on the low table and kneels across from Lan Xichen.

But Lan Xichen rises, still unwilling to touch the book. “You read it,” he says, crossing the room standing in the door, looking out over the silent Family Courtyard. The shadows are deep, the moon hidden behind mist, the world utterly still.

He wonders if the crane is back in the stream.

Humming to himself, Xue Yang reviews the book, pulls a few others out from the chest, starts copying sections out using Lan Xichen’s calligraphy set.

Eventually Lan Xichen takes out Liebing and begins to play. The music soothes his nerves, quiets the anxious thoughts starting to buzz though his brain: the fear of being so close to bringing A-Yao back, of not being close of enough, of what if this is all a farce, what if what Xue Yang found is nothing, after all—

“Here.” Xue Yang is beside him, papers in hand. “Want to take a look?”

Lan Xichen puts his flute away. “No. Just tell me what my role in all this is.”

Xue Yang grins, tucking the pages away in his qiankun sleeve. “Traveling expenses, mostly. Unless we fly—”

“No flying unless necessary.” Lan Xichen is relieved Xue Yang agrees on this point. He doesn’t want his dreams bleeding into whatever this all is. Not exactly reality, but not exactly not reality. “I’ll make the preparations. Where are we going?”

“The Unclean Realm. We need to extract his spirit from the sarcophagus before we can do anything else. Yes, we’re starting with that dimpled little freak. I figure he’s smart, he can help us with my half—”

Lan Xichen barely hears him. “I’m not going to Qinghe.”

“Clan Leader Nie has the coffin.”

“I refuse to so much as speak to that—that—” Words fail him. It’s not like he doesn’t know any appropriate curse words, but none come close to expressing the hatred he feels at the mere thought of Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang, lying to his face. Nie Huaisang, picking up A-Yao’s hat without a trace of emotion. Brushing the dust off. Looking at the blood on his hand.

A-Yao’s blood.

“That twat-nosed little fucker,” Xue Yang suggests, though he can’t possibly understand why Lan Xichen feels the way he does.

“That—” Fucker .

“Fucker,” Xue Yang says encouragingly.

Lan Xichen shakes his head.

Xue Yang pats his arm, far too familiarly. “I’ll do all the talking to that half-witted little fucktoad, my friend. You just try not to trip and accidentally-on-purpose impale anyone on your hairpiece.”

Lan Xichen’s jaw tightens. “The mere idea of being in the same room as him makes me want to peel my own skin off.”

“Like this?” Heedless of the fact that he’s in full view of anyone strolling through the courtyard, Xue Yang tugs off his mask, laughing.

Lan Xichen slides the door shut. “Put your face back on, please, and please leave.”

Instead Xue Yang clicks his tongue and follows him back to the table. He sits on the corner, tapping his knee with his knife as Lan Xichen sets the table right, straightening the papers and brush set and wiping up the ink splatters. The table is lacquered to prevent permanent stains, and he ought to just wait until a servant comes to clean in the morning, but he can’t abide messes.

“What were you planning for the journey?” Xue Yang asks Lan Xichen as he tidies. “Full procession, servants, half-dozen outfit changes, increasingly ridiculous hairpieces, inns fit for an emperor—”

He doesn’t typically travel with a full procession, but the rest of it is fair. “What other way is there?”

Xue Yang smiles. “Leave it to me.”

***

Up Next: Lan Xichen + Xue Yang road trip.

Or: An innkeeper may or may not meet an untimely end, depending on your interpretation of, “Of course I didn’t kill him. Not even a little.”

Chapter 4

#Lan Xichen decides that solipsism and nihilism make an excellent combination #Or: The joys of library research are many and varied #Fractured Ice #fanfic #xue yang #lan xichen #xiyao #xuexiao

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spockandawe · 4 years

Text

So! I got that question last night about whether my xiyao fic took place before or after Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue and his father, and like I said, part of my immediate reaction was ‘I don’t know, does it even matter?’ but I wanted to shake that idea a little and see what else shook out, because I wrote that fic from Lan Xichen’s point of view on purpose, and there are all kinds of things he’s not aware of. I’m long-winded, have a cut.

From a practical pov perspective, it genuinely does not matter whether or not Jin Guangyao has done those particular murders yet, because Lan Xichen isn’t going to find out about it until after Wei Wuxian’s resurrection. With me writing from his point of view, he’s going to be a bit sadder after Nie Mingjue dies, but that’s not necessarily something that will noticeably impact this relationship, other than maybe cherishing his surviving sworn brother a little bit more. And maybe he’ll be a little more at ease after Jin Guangshan dies and someone he, trusts on a personal level is leading the Jin Sect, but that’s just an extra degree of complication to whether or not they could do a relationship period, and there was already plenty of complication to go around.

And on the level of a wider perspective, like..... does it matter if Jin Guangyao has done these two extra murders? Both of them went through the sunshot campaign and are very acquainted with all kinds of ugliness and death by now. Jin Guangyao was a double agent under Wen Ruohan, and in just the little piece of that we’re shown, we see him very casually killing some Nie Sect people to maintain his cover (or in case he needs to side with the winning team, whatever). And after the war is over and his father gives him his very conditional recognition, he gets pressed into service as his father’s torturer. He’s already up to his elbows in blood, and Lan Xichen knows that, and still canonically cares deeply for him and trusts him anyways, whether that care is platonic or not.

Also, as a side note, I have seen people who do give attention to those atrocities instead of just picking out two deaths from a whole cheese platter of them, and I find it really interesting how much less grace is given to Jin Guangyao than is given to characters like Wei Wuxian. Some of that is down to natural sympathy with a likeable pov character, but like... Lan Wangji witnessed the end of Wei Wuxian’s brutal torture campaign with Wen Chao, for example, but people don’t expect them to sit down and have a conversation about it, never mind have a moralizing conversation about how ‘wei ying, you know that was very naughty of you, and you’d better realize it was wrong and bad and never do it again.’ All of the characters except the youngest generation have lived through a lot of awful things, and that’s... numbing. I would be shocked to see any of them sit down and discuss it openly, never mind expect it from them before they’re permitted to be loved.

Now, back to JIn Guangyao’s murders. Would Lan Xichen knowing about those two particular extra deaths matter? Yeah, definitely. Lan Xichen also cared very deeply for Nie Mingjue, and having your father raped to death is all kinds of fucked up, plus there are the cultural taboos about killing your dad, etc. But I would also argue that in the story, Jin Guangyao tries shields Lan Xichen from the ugliest parts of himself. It gets a little complicated to provide textual explanations for this, because they both spend most of their time off screen, and I’m not going to get pulled into an long side tangent, but bear with me.

But just from a character perspective, it only makes sense. At a bare minimum, it’s protecting himself. He’s terrified of everyone and everything, he says. Nobody is more aware than he is of how precarious his social position is, and his father did nothing to help him with that. Lan Xichen likes him and trusts him, even though he knows some of the terrible things he’s done. So why wouldn’t Jin Guangyao shield him from the things that might turn Lan Xichen against him? And if self-preservation also aligns with not hurting Lan Xichen as well... Why wouldn’t he avoid hurting Lan Xichen? We see him handling him gently at other times, even after he was in a position where he could have used force. I do wish very much that we could have gotten in his head in canon, but reading into the motivations behind his actions is half the fun, so what do I know, haha.

I’m not going to convince anyone who’s like ‘bluh bluh jin guangyao never cared for a single person in the world beside himself’, but I honestly think that makes the character profoundly boring and also doesn’t make much sense. Even if he only ever cared for one (1) person beside himself (still think that’s a boring read, but hey), then that person would have been Lan Xichen. It isn’t a one-way street, where Jin Guangyao just takes and takes. He helped Lan Xichen rebuild he cloud recesses. Even if that got him a closer ally and stronger political alliance, it wasn’t a necessary gesture to make. Nobody would have criticized him for just standing by and not spending piles of money on the rebuilding. He didn’t help Lanling Jin the same way, after all. I’m getting lost down this rabbit hole, but my point is that while it’s not that hard to read mercenary motivations into any one single thing he does, there is a pattern of behavior in his treatment of Lan Xichen particularly, and that pattern makes the most sense if care and compassion are involved. Jin Guangyao’s motivations when it comes to Lan Xichen make the most sense when they’re at the intersection of self-preservation and affection, and other reads on him just are not nearly as compelling to me.

Anyways! Back on topic. If there’s a xiyao relationship while JIn Guangyao is Jin Guangyao, even if he hasn’t killed Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangshan yet, he’s... probably at least thinking about it. He’s maybe working on it a lil bit in the background. And one, he’s already an experienced torturer tho, and two, Lan Xichen already cares about him even though he’s a torturer. I think it’s actually much more interesting to try to determine where the story falls in terms of where Jin Guangyao stands in regards to Xue Yang. Is he actively collaborating with him yet? Is he actively providing him with materials? Even if Lan Xichen would have a hard time forgiving Jin Guangyao for what he did to Nie Mingjue, I also think he’s capable of understanding why Jin Guangyao was so terrified when it came to Nie Mingjue. Even if he didn’t agree with him in the end, I think he would be able to listen and understand. He would just go into a horrible conflicted deadlock of grief and emotions and withdraw to seclusion for the foreseeable future. I think it would be much, much more damaging to Lan Xichen to know that Jin Guangyao was feeding a supply of innocent people to Xue Yang for experimenting.

In the end, it’s rarely an interesting question to me of how many bad things a given character has done at any given point in a shippy story like the one where I got this question, because like... This fictional mass murderer from ancient fantasy china is still capable of love, so. Now, am I talking about JIn Guangyao? Or am I talking about Xue Yang? Wei Wuxian? Jiang Cheng tortured and killed a bunch of demonic cultivators, but like.... still want him to reconcile with his brother tho. What kind of boring reading would I be doing if nobody involved was allowed to make a bad decision ever? A chronic series of bad decisions? Xuexiao is so compelling to me because of the sheer amount of terrible decisions Xue Yang has made before he starts wanting to be loved. Wei Wuxian comes back from the dead exhausted and wrung out and dragged down by the weight of his first life. He’s confronted by people who are like ‘it’s your fault I lost my leg!’ or whatever, and Lan Wangji doesn’t pull away to be like ‘wow, that man is right, that is really terrible of you, let’s have a conversation until you tearfully self-flagellate enough to earn my love again.’

So the question about my fic doesn’t really have an answer. Has Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue or his father yet? Idk! Haha, probably! Or he’s at least working on it, he’s a busy little bee. And none of that has any bearing at all on his ability to love Lan Xichen (except now that i think about it, their deaths would probably make it easier for him to have that conversation, because there are fewer external threats to his safety, and he has more space to consider voluntarily allowing more vulnerability into his life). Would knowledge of those deaths impact Lan Xichen’s ability to love him? They would make it a lot more hecking complicated, that’s for sure, but that is also the canonical seasoning of this relationship, platonic or romantic. And, incidentally, it’s the exact spice I crave. I would have no interest in this relationship if they were two perfect angels, I am here because Lan Xichen is an absolute doll, and Jin Guangyao both cherishes him above everything else and has deliberately done terrible things that wounded him deeply. That’s the appeal.

#the untamed #xiyao #mdzs #jin guangyao #jin guangyao x lan xichen #lan xichen x jjin guangyao #lan xichen #rape mention/#torture/

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