#the way I've been craving them
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#pokemon xy#pokemon x and y#pokemon fanart#pokemon#az's floette#az#pokemon az#az pokemon#lumiose city#kalos#they go and explore the region trying out new things including battling and having good time in life in general#And maybe some planting flowers along the way too#Been thinking about the times I've went to this restaurant called Le Figaro. Had really good croissants and crêpes.#craving for them now#pokemon z
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honestly? I think there should just in general be more appreciation for Bond's physique lmao. Like. Why do we never get Q waxing poetic about Bond's muscular thighs for example, or the mesmerizing interplay of muscles under skin as he does basically anything. I get we got that stuff w Bond and honeypots & objectification, but like surely we can work some honest appreciation (and also to be honest, horny lust) in there.
#I feel like ever other fandom Im in has some kind of wax poetic about physique thing#but I feel like I've been missing/craving that in 00q#it seems like if anyone's physique is mentioned it's Bond re Q but like w the author giving Q the waif treatment#(the man would NOT have alabaster skin or whatever he has like an olive undertoneee. even pale he wouldn't be like Bella Swan pale)#I'm sure there are some Q lusts over Bond's physique out there but it's like... we can have him admire the physique without it being#an objectify the body thing!! there are nuances here!!!#anyway if anyone has fic recs with this pls point them my way#I may be suffering from representational bias here and etc
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Thinking about the portrayal of ancestry in Horizons.
#something about depicting adult characters as full people with their own motivations and lives as opposed to just making them flat#or not going deeper than a dichotomy between bad and good. it's refreshing to see stuff that feels real and poignant#i've been rotating rystal gibeon crave quite a lot in my mind lately. love the implications here and there about rystal and leyla#not telling you everything but leaving enough implications to imagine stuff.. i can think of a whole life for rystal and it's neat.#also i like that.. every family member feels like their own person. that thing about everyone having their own life and feelings.#liko is different from lucca and diana. but there are still moments which feel affectionate where you can think she takes after them#refreshing take on ancestry tbh. it strikes delicate balance between knowing your roots and past and finding yourself#learning about past tragedies to give them proper closure because you can't do that if you don't know what happened#even with gibeon.. very pleased and impressed that they are putting care in his character's depiction#specifically showing him as a young man and giving depth and perspective to him. allowing him to be a full character.#instead of just saying he is terrible and ending it at that. he gets to be someone with dreams and motivations and relationships#we've seen little of crave but the implications are there to pick apart and they are interesting#it genuinely enriches amethio's character and his side of the story. to make his relatives distinct people with their own perspectives#like.. instead of just saying his relatives are the worst evil!! they are putting care in the depiction and make them nuanced#characters who feel real.. strained and messy relationships with room for growth and development#definitely gives me more appreciation for the narrative in general. it's a kind of story that i find appealing#actually pleased that ame's side of the story is like that.. it could have been flat but thankfully it isn't.#stories with multiple layers and perspectives to them. my beloved.#anyway the portrayal of ancestry and adult characters in horizons is neat. and interesting.#the way they are tackling that kind of narrative to add to characters like liko and amethio. it's cool#hopefully. we get more on gibeon soon. he specifically has me intrigued.. him and crave too.#the writers definitely have specific themes they like and it shows through the story.. it's neat.#character notes
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Whenever my sister in law comes around and I see her and my brother and we talk about how she plans to decorate the new place once they have the keys and how she's buying stuff for it already and I just think to myself of how bad I wanna be doing that with someone I love who also loves me. And how it must seem so desperate of me to want to be loved this bad but I just do.
#and I'm like only getting older. and i think constantly about how like#imagine i just never get it?#and i know i have my friends. i know i have my family and stuff but jt doesn't replace anything. i can still want them.#i can still have those things and want to be loved in that way#and it's crazy y'know. in my time. 4 people I've known have been in love w me qnd it's never worked out. and yet I've only been in love once#(which is now)#so it's hard not to think it's me. anf that I'm just not destined to experience that kinda reciprocated love.#and that's so sad to think about.#because i do wanna be loved#and i do wanna be accepted#like ran anon said (🙄) i crave love and acceptance a lot. and it's so easy to tell.#and pretending I don't doesn't make it fo away.#i love love and i worry I'm destined to never experience it.#and god does that break my heart.
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you see, the problem with writing my oc backstories while listening to epic the musical is that i start instinctively changing details to match the lyrics of the current song playing.
and then i have to examine whatever "brilliant new backstory detail" i just thought of, and go:
(in the voice of someone trying to see what's in their dog's mouth) is that your oc's backstory? is it? yeah, um- no. no, it's not. that's odysseus of ithaca. put him back. no, i don't care if "ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves", your oc is ten years old and she does not have the ability nor the time to somehow get a crew of soldiers killed. move her along to the assassin plotline and put the sad greek man back where he came from.
#epic the musical#oc creation#oc writing#this happens every time i listen to a narrative song while writing.#same issue with lydia the bard's villain songs; i listen to them while writing and suddenly i'm writing ooc villain AUs for my ocs.#and then i have to go:#''are you writing a compelling alternate version of your oc as a villain?#or are you literally just stealing lydia the bard's villain AU version of anna from frozen?''#and the answer is usually. the latter. so i have to start over.#''but why not just listen to other music'' because i must satisfy the brain's craving for Story Music. <3#(and also i've been hyperfixated on epic for months and looping the songs is the only way i'm able to do anything else)
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#it always upsets me when people belittle or mock children for not being rational when they're experiencing emotion#for so many reasons but mostly because. we all feel the same#whether we are 7 or 20 or 56 or wherever we may be#i still feel small out of nowhere for things i didn't realize i was feeling until a certain point#sometimes it's for the same reasons and sometimes it's not#but i had a moment like “i had a nice day? i feel like i've been going and going along just fine”#but i live under subtle pressure constantly and forget it's there sometimes. but usually i like to pretend like it isn't there#i have been confined to boxes my whole life in so many different ways and i'm aching to break from them#i'm being patient and understanding but. christ shdkghgk#i need to disappear for a while#float in a lake. hide in the mountains. lay in a field. idk idk#liminal cravings#sap says
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Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...
Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved
Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.
I know who you are...
But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.
... and I know you are loved.
But God, they wish they didn't have to.
#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell...#Listen okay ever since the movie introduced the idea of *Roxanne actually writing back* I have been even less normal about these idiots.#The imagery is so fucking delicious either way because you get to imagine either the two of them sitting close enough together#that they can both read either together or over the other's shoulder and just... occupying that space together the two nearly becoming one#and I get to lose my mind over the proximity and the warmth between them forged in the fire of their love for Roxanne.#OR *or or*... the two of them taking turns reading and just *watching* the other's face as they read trying to glean from their expressions#what she might have said and the intensity of that study becoming its own terrible intimacy that right now they can only show through proxy#and I *also* get to lose my mind over Cyrano watching Christian and musing that even if his partner might look like a marble statue#he's never seen a marble statue make that face before but he's *definitely* seen it from Roxanne and it's just as coronary-inducing on both#and Christian watching Cyrano and musing that this might be the closest he'll ever come to seeing the pride of the cadets#and the mythic figure he's built around himself completely *shatter* if only for a moment... he's *human* and he's *exquisite.*#CANNOT be normal about it... it's 'So--here's my heart under your velvet now'--#it's 'I've loved but one (man) in my life and now I must lose him twice'--#it's the darkness of the balcony and the endless sunshine metaphors regarding Roxanne herself--#it's the goddamn Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and how much Roxanne *craves* it from two men terrified to submit to it...#God these three make me sick I love them so much.#cyrano de bergerac
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clocking in at midnight to say, do y'all ever think about how......there is some dark star at the heart of constantine that really, truly enjoys taking a fucking piece out of someone that wrongs him. that genuinely craves having power over people who are used to having that power themselves.
like, there's a reason that his principal driving forces are empathy and guilt: he cares a lot about people being wronged, and he gets absolutely fucking furious at the people who wrong them. what's more, he's clever enough to lash out in ways that ensure maximum damage without necessarily involving him directly. (instructing chas to pay people to break the legs of a guy that hurt one of his exes, involving ellie in a scheme to drop the archangel gabriel from grace) now, he always feels awful afterwards about taking such drastic steps, and the people he goes after are genuinely reprehensible fucks who deserved far worse, but the shit that he sets people up for in a fit of anger gets intense, man.
tbh i think he attributes that part of himself to his father. and it's part of why he struggles to look at himself in mirrors some days. i don't think he'll ever feel like he's left his father behind him, or broken the cycle, or outgrown the nasty bits of himself that made mistakes like newcastle, because he's never fully learned how to get that rage to go away before acting on it impulsively.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#this doesn't have to make sense tbh i'm rambling#but like him going all in for the tate club In Person? that was a BIG step in a new direction for him#and imo if he hadn't been able to reconcile with chas and gemma later? we could have seen a MUCH worse john constantine#someone who took his pound of flesh In Person and Enjoyed it. someone who never fully stopped grieving.#i think in a lot of ways the versions of him that show up in crap like neo-gothic and jld are truly his nightmare#bc those people are vindictive and nasty and wholly selfish. the way he was after cheryl died#except they never Stop being that way. he Did. they were built that way; he Wasn't#ANYWAY i talk a lot about how he doesn't like violence but imo that's in part bc he Craves it sometimes#and that's part of why one primary method of self-destruction is just finding someone to beat the shit out of him#bc then he can feel like a victim (which he knows how to be) and not like a potential aggressor (which he can't handle being)#idk if any of these phrases sound the way i want them to but we're just gonna chuck that all into the void and workshop tomorrow#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.
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It is taking every fiber of my being not to doordash five guys rn...
#luka.txt#I'm a simple american I crave burger#it's also only 10am 😭#I've been ordering delivery a lot recently though#and I don't rlly have any money to spare atm w/o dipping into savings#and I'm trying to be disciplined abt it#but oh it is so hard#I need to keep saving so I can go back to school again 🥲#but my paychecks have just been piss recently#I really need to get back to making social media content for the place's Facebook and Instagram that was an extra 5 hours a week 🥲#I think that's where my biggest hit is tbh#it's just so hard to make stuff I actually feel has good quality and is engaging#but then my boss will repost a meme that's made out of 2 pixels and that'll get significantly more attention 🥲#so it's very demotivating like why do I try#my boss did give me some video game trivia cards to use for inspiration#but like it's difficult to make a unique post with them#I may just start copy and pasting I need the money#it feels shameless though like I'll put in effort to make it look nice visually#but the actual content itself just being taken from smth else rubs me the wrong way I don't like it#like I kinda copy and paste for stuff sometimes but it's in a lot higher effort content and in smaller blurbs#like a trivia question I came up with myself and then the answer has an extra fact about it I copied#I was doing rlly good with videos specifically for a bit I was finding old arcade commercials and finding some rlly interesting facts#but like it was so much effort for such little reward#(the pay is a good reward but I mean like actual engagement)#like why bother with all of that when I can do smth a lot easier and faster for the same pay#but simultaneously it feels scummy to do so#gah#I may work on that today idk I rlly need the money
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#tag talk#idk. I'm thinking about therapy now. it's really based on the self report model which means that it's weakness is#is a patient who cannot accurately self report their own internal world. emotions. and thoughts.#which. when you have a pervasive need to lie about yourself. to mask. to retell the truth to fit your own narrative. that's kind of an issu#my second (and by far least favorite therapist) refused to ever actually engage in dialogue with me. she simply sat back and watched/listen#which left me simply spinning in place. running through every stupid social trick I knew just to find a direction to take things.#I'm gonna break away from that thought because there's a more pressing thing in my head right now.#are you familiar with the fear that comes with being seen and recognized? the realization that you're no longer cloaked by anonymity?#I'm feeling that a little here with these tag talks. I used to be confidently ignored and left alone to ramble on my own#and that's changed a little bit. not immensely. y'all are still politely ignoring these generally. but.. idk#I crave intimacy and dialogue and social interaction but simultaneously it's terrifying.#I so deeply want connection but the pressure and expectation that comes with it is genuinely frightening to me.#I really don't know how people do it. the only solid relationships in my life are with people who are fundamentally detached from me.#ugh I want to finish this thought but letting it dwell in my head really hurts. do I push through it or do I leave off here?#fuck it I'm gonna force my way through. I'm not giving up here.#I'm scared. that's it. I'm scared. scared people are going to see me. scared people will talk to me. but I want that!#I want to be seen. to be known. to be recognized. it's that deep seated human social drive that I can't escape. it's so fucking stupid.#idk. I've decided that if I ever top 100 followers I'm gonna just up and move blogs. start fresh and start over.#I'm not Super close to that but I'm reasonably close (not giving you a percentage because that's just.. my actual follower count)#it feels like tumblr etiquette to not publicly state your follower count. and idk. I actively don't want followers.#I want my isolated conclave with comfortable faces and familiar blogs. people are scary so I necessarily don't want too many around#damn I got way off topic. what the fuck was I talking about? I was onto something heavy before I lost track#ugh maybe I need to take a break from tumblr for a while. my queue has been running at full for a while and it's stressing me out.#I'm on here too much spinning and spinning and spinning with no traction.#I need to take these new thoughts and feelings and really just get out and experiment with them. stop just running on my hamster wheel#I think if I can get dms dealt with in the next few days I can just delete tumblr off my phone and take a sabbatical#it's been a while since I took a real break from here. it would be nice I think.#I just.. I don't like feeling like I'm talking to a person. I don't like feeling like these are going to be seen#and that's not your fault! I'm literally hitting the “Post” button. that's my choice to put these out semi-publicly#I don't want to ever put that responsibility on someone else when it's my own choice to make myself visible.
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Stuck on the idea of vampires as a kind of reverse fae, or like someone's twisted, perverse attempt at moulding humans into fae.
They're repelled by liminal spaces.
A vampire could never enter fairyland, not just because they'd never be welcomed, but because most of the usual entry-ways are naturally barred to them.
They can't cross running water. They can't be seen in mirrors. They will wait forever at a crossroads, unable to pick a direction to go in. They can't even step over a thresh-hold unless there is absolutely no ambiguity about whether they are welcome inside.
They crave human blood, iron and salt, but are repelled by herbs and plants. They are supernaturally prevented from harming you unless the rules of hospitality have been invoked.
A fairy may replace your newborn child with something unnatural and ever-hungry. A vampire will do the same, but with your grandmother's corpse.
The fae are typically associated, even in stories where they're the bad guys, with flourishing and purity. Vampires, even in stories where they're the good guys, are typically associated with decay and corruption.
The fae turn ancient human burial mounds into fancy halls for their courts. Vampires take ancient human castles and let them grow mildewed and cobwebbed, exchanging the beds for coffins, turning them into burial places.
Fae don't tend to live among humans, but can generally pass for them with relative ease if they so choose. Vampires nearly always live among humans, but tend to find not revealing themselves a huge struggle.
I can't think of many stories I've read where fae and vampires even exist in the same universe, let alone ones where they actively interact. I feel like their enmity is almost more inevitable than that between vampires and werewolves, however.
The rivalry between vampires and werewolves is, essentially, the rivalry between two apex predator species who share a territory. (Even in stories where the werewolves aren't actually hunting humans.)
The vampires hate the werewolves because the werewolves interfere with their access to prey. The werewolves hate the vampires either because they consider themselves aligned with humans (the prey species), or because they are also predators and the vampires are competing with them.
By comparison, I think there's some story potential in the fae finding something genuinely creepy and uncanny valley about vampires.
They're immortal, like them, but also dead. They can be beautiful, like them, but that beauty is something they actively require humans to sustain. They like to inhabit beautiful and ancient ex-human dwellings, like them, but they actively work to make those places dark, damp and empty.
Fairies who are unflappable in the face of all sorts of Otherworldly monsters, can look an eldritch horror in the eye(s) without blinking, and have never been phased yet by any human, but will recoil from even the weakest vampire.
Vampires who hate fairies just as much, but in a more envious way. The way that the creature for whom immortality is a curse is bound to hate the creatures for whom immortality is an eternity of sunlight and laughter.
Maybe their touches burn each other. Maybe vampires can't stand physical contact with anything so alive and vital. Maybe immortal fairies become ill from too much exposure to the undead.
Maybe they fight over the human population when their territories overlap. The fairy need for servants and people to make deals with, competing with the vampire need for thralls and blood to drink.
Just… fairies and vampires. We need more stories about them interacting.
#vampires#fae#fairies#fantasy#fantasy headcanons#urban fantasy#now imagine all this in the context of an enemies to lovers story
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I get paid in a week and by then I will be over with my medications and hopefully I'll be restored back to full health I can't wait omg ...

#no plans of course but you wait and see. I'll come up with some delicious way to celebrate#also I've been craving a cigarette so bad but have abstained just in case for my throat but once I'm clear I'm looking forward to it so bad#wanna buy tobacco leaves and learn to roll them myself ohhh yes!#txt.me
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Secrets I have held in my heart (are harder to hide than I thought)E.M.



⭐︎ Warnings: 18+, mdni! idiots to lovers, best friends to lovers, smut smut smut, lots of pining, mentions of unrequited feelings (they're not), slight angst, unprotected sex, breeding kink? kinda. alcohol and weed consumption. high sex?
⭐︎ Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
⭐︎ Word count: 20.4k
⭐︎ Summary: A weekend alone with Eddie at Steve's cabin reveals all yours and his deepest desires, feelings you were too afraid to act upon bubbling to the surface, leading to a steamy night that might change you and your best friend forever.
⭐︎ Author's note: I've been meaning to write a best friends to lovers with Eddie for a while now (especially after writing ikyllatk, if you know you know. this is Cheer and Eddie to me in a different universe hehe). @hellfire--cult and I went feral over this idea and we've been talking about this since foreverrrrr and here we are finally! thank you for inspiring me, love ♡
⭐︎ the library
divider made by @cafekitsune
The sun is beating down on your skin, kissing it with warmth as the cold water from the lake is still clinging to your body, making goosebumps appear as you shiver the slightest bit. Your eyes are closed, a content smile rests on your face, despite the way your blue lips tremble. Birds are chirping all around you, the trees rustle whenever the wind blows, the water splashes when your best friend makes his way out of the lake, cursing a few times when he steps over the sharp rocks on the ground.
You don’t open your eyes just yet but you listen to him moving closer and closer to where you’re laying on the pink towel you threw on the grass earlier. You don’t have to take a look to know that he is staring at you, he always is. Like a weight on your body, his stare always feels like a warm blanket, heating up your insides and making you feel something you shouldn’t.
Eddie’s eyes are roaming your body, your glistening bare skin, the skimpy bikini bottoms that are only held together by the strings on the sides, the little bow coming undone slowly. He kneels down before you, making a gasp fall from your lips when the water from his hair drips on your belly and his cold hands touch your hip, fingers reaching for the strings so he can fix the little bow.
You open your eyes to find him looking down with a smug smile as he plays with the strings on your bottoms, re-tying it for you. Your breath hitches in your throat from the touch of his hand and the closeness of him, if you were to sit up, your noses would bump together but you stay in place, only pushing yourself up on your elbows.
“I’m sorry, sweets,” he chuckles softly, taking his sweet time as his fingertips graze your bare hip, “didn’t mean to get you wet,” he smirks, a look of mischief flashes in his eyes as water continues to drip from his body onto yours.
“Are you sure?” You challenge him the way you always do, blinking at him innocently as you bring your knees up higher and bite your lip, making him gulp and blush instantly.
You always know how to break him.
Eddie is oh so confident and flirty, throwing looks and comments your way that are a little too suggestive for someone who is considered a best friend, but the moment you join in on his game, even if only subtly, he turns into a blushing mess, no longer the confident, cocky guy he wishes to be.
But even when he turns into this, blushing and nervous, you can still feel that one certain energy radiating off him and it makes you squirm, it fills you with curiosity and the urge to cross that invisible line, your deepest desires, the ones that are locked away begging to be released. You never let them, you never even looked or paid attention to what you really wanted or craved. You played his game, you flirted back, you teased him but you never admitted to yourself that there was… something.
“Hm, no,” Eddie murmurs, suggestively. He ties the knot, strongly and then, he hooks his finger around the strap, he pulls it back and lets it snap against your skin, making you jolt in your place, a tiny gasp falling from your lips once more as a bigger smirk appears on his face. His eyes roam your body, he takes you in fully before he leans back and plops down on his own towel, laying down, he places his arm behind his head, closing his eyes to the sun, he lets out a sigh of contentment, acting as though he didn’t just touch you the way best friends normally don’t do. Asshole.
“This is nice, I’m glad we came out here.”
You hum in agreement, taking advantage of the fact that his eyes are closed, you allow yourself to take a closer, better look at the man who had become your best and closest friend. He is attractive, very handsome, you aren’t blind, you never have been but he is your friend, you never allowed yourself to look at him a certain way but lately it’s become harder to stay so… blind, to not let his lingering touches make you weak in the knees, to not let his comments fill you with giddiness, to not feel something when he holds you in his arms, when he plays with your hair or places his hand on your thigh when you’re in his passenger seat.
You don’t know where this sudden change has come from, it’s always been that way with him, from the very beginning, he’s been touchy and affectionate with you but it didn’t always make you so excited, it’s been a recent development, something that Nancy and Robin teased you about, they saw your reactions whenever he kissed your cheek and called you pet names, whenever he walked into a room only smiling the moment his eyes would meet yours.
You never noticed it before, the feelings he left you with after all his sweet gestures and touches, only when your friends had brought it up to you, leaving you a blushing and a confused mess, did you start to open your eyes… a little, and suddenly things started to change, your reactions to his comments, no matter if they are flirty or sweet, your reactions to his lingering touches, the way his fingers would play with yours, the way they would drum against your skin, so very close to the hem of your skirt or your shirt, the way he would tuck your hair behind your ear or wipe the foam off your upper lip after taking the first sip of your morning latte before taking his thumb into his mouth and licking it off, moaning while doing so – what was normal before, suddenly wasn’t anymore, everything he did, everything he does now drives you crazy and leaves you yearning for more but you never dared to be the one to take another step forward, to cross that daring line, to make the first real move.
He is still Eddie, your best friend, your soulmate, the person you don’t want to lose, especially over something like this, over reading into something that might not be there, over losing control of your own feelings. After all, this could all just be a part of… him. Maybe it’s just who he is, affectionate, teasing, flirty, daring. Maybe he is like that with everybody, not just you.
But maybe not, maybe you are the only one and maybe, just maybe he is waiting for you to be the one to make another move, to take another step, maybe he has been waiting, maybe he has been waiting for a while now.
You bite your lips so hard, you almost rip the skin open, your eyes are glued to his form, to the way his chest rises up and down, his wet hair a mess around him, lashes fluttering as his eyes are squeezed shut, your fingers itch to touch the ink on his pale skin, you lick your lips as your eyes follow his happy trail, mouth watering at the way his swim trunks are so low on his hips, his bulge so… god, you need to stop – but how can you? Your best friend is just so pretty. And his hands are so big, fingers so long and you have felt them on your skin before but you would be a goddamn liar if you said you didn’t think about them in other places.
Your cheeks heat up at your own thoughts, though it doesn’t stop you from daydreaming some more and the longer you do, the more you start to lose yourself in them, wondering about all the different what if’s, wondering what would happen if you just made the move your friends have begged you to make, to be more daring, to be more teasing, to break him enough for him to do something you both clearly want.
A bravery you don’t usually have, surges through your body, taking over completely. The urge to tease him back the way he teases you is so strong, so before you chicken out, before you think too much and too long, you reach behind you, undoing the bow he tied on your bikini top, you turn away from him and take the skimpy black thing off, throwing it down next to you, the cool breeze kisses your skin and if Eddie opened his eyes right now, he’d be met with the sight of your bare chest.
You press your lips together and turn around, flipping your hair over your shoulder, you lay down on your stomach, stretching your arms out and letting out a sigh of contentment. You turn your head into his direction but close your eyes, even though you’re dying to see his reaction to you being topless but you are trying to play it cool, like it’s nothing.
Eddie peeks one eye open after listening to all your movement and he almost chokes on his spit when he does, jaw falling slack, both eyes shoot open as he takes in the sight of you, of the skin that wasn’t bare only seconds ago – how, when, what?
He blinks, eyebrows furrowed, lips parted as he is gawking at you, at the way your boobs are pressed against the towel beneath you, at the softness of your skin, at the single drops of water still clinging to your body that he wants to touch oh so badly, your hair looks so shiny and soft, your face so content as you lay half naked next to him.
Eddie’s cheeks heat up when he realizes that he would have seen you bare if only he opened his eyes a few seconds sooner. He licks his lips, nearly drooling over the sight of you. Suddenly, his trunks feel tighter than before when his mind takes him to places he only reserves for late nights when he is all alone and not afraid to risk to pop a boner.
He tries to look away, he really does but he can’t, not when you look this hot. He allows his eyes to roam again and it only makes his case worse, his breathing quickens, his skin heats up, his hands itch to touch your soft skin, his lips long to trail kisses down your body, to have a little taste of you.
If you were his, he would, he would start on your neck and he would kiss down to your shoulder and then your back, and he’d take it lower and lower until his lips would reach those skimpy panties, he’d take them off and taste you the way he always dreamed of, he’d lick a stripe up your pussy, suck on your clit, eat you out like the starved man that he is and he would get lost in your moans and your whines, in the pleasure that only he could make you feel.
Eddie clears his throat, he nearly curses when he feels his dick twitching in need of you. He clenches his jaw, even more so when he sees your lips twitching into a smirk. Oh… Oh.
He raises his eyebrows in surprise, his breath halting for a moment when he realizes what you did, you did this on purpose, you aimed to tease him.
It’s not exactly something new, you being a tease but you have never taken things this far, you have never stepped up to his level.
But now that you did… he can take things further as well, right?
If you decide to tease him like this, then he will tease right back.
He pushes himself up, adjusting his trunks, he nearly lets out a groan when you wiggle your butt a little, pretending to get more comfortable.
He bites his lip as he looks around in search for the sunscreen you have brought with you, he finds the bottle peeking out of your bag. He presses his palm on the grass beneath him, leaning over your body to reach for the yellow bottle.
“What’re you doing, Eds?” You murmur, rather seductively
A smirk tugs at Eddie’s lips, the tone in your voice tells him that you believe you are in charge here and… maybe you are, right now, but he won’t let you win so easily.
He chuckles lowly when a gasp tears from your pretty lips after he squirts the cold cream on your back.
“Don’t want you to get burned, sweetheart,” he whispers, closing the cap of the bottle, he throws it on the ground before he lays his palms flat against your hot skin, spreading the white cream all over your back.
You grow flustered and you start blushing, your breathing gets heavier and you visibly gulp when he starts massaging the sunscreen into your skin. You suck in a sharp breath when his hands move up to your shoulders, gripping you there for a moment before he moves back down, the coldness of his rings making you shudder a little.
Eddie can’t even hide the smug look on his face after feeling your reaction, pride swelling in his chest when you sigh so beautifully because of his touch.
You easily get lost in this, eyelashes fluttering, soft breaths and sighs falling from your lips as his strong hands move up and down your skin, touching you in ways that make you squirm beneath him.
“Feels good,” you whisper as you arch your back a little, not knowing that just a small movement like this is enough to drive him insane, once again.
“Fuck,” he curses softly under his breath, he swallows harshly.
“What was that?” You ask, not hiding the smugness in your voice, very well.
“Nothing,” he lies, “nothing, sweets.”
“You sure?”
He hums, shaking his head at your teasing, at the way you think that you will win the game that he started.
Eddie moves his hands down to your sides, making sure to get the cream everywhere, so you won’t get burned, of course. His fingers dip dangerously low to the side of your boobs, and while it was only meant to tease you, to get a reaction out of you, he realizes that it was a mistake, only a little too late – it only makes his case worse when he feels just how soft and smooth your skin is that is usually hidden under all your clothes, when he feels himself craving to touch a little lower, to feel more of you, to make you feel–
“Mmmh.”
Eddie freezes, hands halting at your sides, his big brown eyes widen and his lips part once again, he stares at the back of your head, stunned.
You moaned at his touch, whimpered even, making those butterflies in his stomach feel stronger than ever.
“Why’d you stop?” You mumble, wiggling your butt as though to tell him to keep going.
Do you even know the power you hold over him?
Do you even understand what you do to him?
Eddie bites his lip, he bites hard, hard enough to taste iron. He sucks in a sharp breath, biting back the growl that threatens to fall from his mouth when he adjusts behind you, the rough material of his swim trunks rubbing against his dick. He is fucking rock hard and if you only turned around to take a look at him, you would see it.
“I’m sorry, got a little distracted,” he says lowly, voice getting a little shaky.
He feels so hot, and it’s not the sun that is making him sweat, it’s all you.
He can see the way your lip twitches, the way your dimple shows when you smirk at his words.
“Oh? By what, the birds?” You giggle.
He chuckles, shaking his head at your question even though your eyes are still closed. He takes a moment to look at your surroundings, at the beautiful scenery, the trees and the big lake in front of Steve’s cabin – well, his parents cabin.
God, he wonders where this weekend will take him, you and him.
A weekend you were both supposed to spend with your friends, turned into this. Just you and him, and no one else.
It’s only day one, and you are already close to making him cum in his swim trunks, like some pathetic teenage boy who couldn’t handle his crush’s teasing or touching.
This will either be the best weekend of his life, or this might kill him – if you are only teasing, then this will surely kill him but if you are not, then he owes your friends a lot, for pretending to be sick or busy. He knows that they were lying when Robin fake coughed on the phone after telling him that she couldn’t make it, that she and Steve couldn’t make it, cause he got sick too… apparently.
And Nancy forgot that she promised to help her mom with something, and if Nancy couldn’t come, then Jonathan couldn’t either of course – which led to Argyle staying back as well, cause where would he ever go without his best buddy?
Eddie looks back down at you, at his best friend, who is laying half naked before him so comfortably, teasing him so freely. Another sigh escapes your lips and you squirm beneath him once again.
Yeah, no matter how this will end, you will be the death of him.
“Yeah, the birds,” he mumbles, snorting at his own words.
He leans down closer to you, squeezing your sides which makes you jolt a little, a giggle falling from your lips.
“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, eyes lighting up at the sweet sound, “I forgot how ticklish you are,” he teases, as if.
“Mhmm sure you did, Eddie.”
With a mischievous smile, he decides to take his teasing further, playfully digging his fingers into your waist, he begins to tickle you, making you yelp and jolt in surprise as you start squirming beneath his touch, giggles now falling freely from your mouth as his name rolls off your tongue so effortlessly, awakening those butterflies in his stomach. God, he wishes he could make you call out his name in different ways.
You jump up, with your arms covering your front, one hand pressing against your boobs, hiding only just a little as you turn to face your best friend. You watch the way his eyes widen as they instantly fall to your chest, lust flashing in them, jaw dropping as his cheeks redden right this second, his expression makes you giggle even harder, even more so when you push him back and he falls onto the grass, flat on his butt, wet curls hanging in front of his hair.
Eddie is so stunned by you, he can barely move as he stares at you, at your half naked form. God, you are so beautiful it hurts.
The afternoon sun begins to turn golden, kissing your glowy skin and all your curves, your hair cascades down your shoulders, your hand that barely hides anything pressing against your boobs, he wishes it was his own. Licking his lips, he pushes himself up on his elbows, letting his eyes roam your body, shamelessly, dreaming about the way he would love to get between those delicious looking thighs of yours, the way he’d kiss every inch of your body, leaving no trace unmarked, the way he would nuzzle his nose into your neck and inhale your sweet scent, not playfully the way he usually does, but with a trail of kisses that he would leave behind.
He would worship you in ways he can’t even begin to describe. Oh, how often Eddie finds himself up at night, working on yet another song about you, thinking of words that haven’t been created yet, strong enough to describe you.
He feels uncomfortable in his swim trunks that are getting a little too tight, his skin feels on fire, not from the sun but from you. He lusts after you, yes, but there is also more than that, so much more. It isn’t just the lust that makes these feelings so intense, it’s all his deepest feelings for you, feelings that only his notebook filled with song texts know about… and maybe your friends, who aren’t as oblivious as you are.
“I’m gonna take a shower, and you should too,” your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
Eddie clears his throat, watching you get up, not bothering to pick up your top or your dress that you wore earlier, you simply keep your chest hidden by your right arm.
“You’re helping me cook dinner,” you give him a pointed look before you turn around and begin to walk back to the house.
Eddie smiles cheekily as he pushes himself up further, eyes glued to your butt now.
“Are you telling me to get into the shower with you?” He calls after you, unaware of the butterflies that he caused in your stomach now.
You don’t turn around, you keep walking, hiding the flustered expression on your face from him. You flip him off without looking back, biting back your smile when he laughs loudly.
Eddie watches, craning his neck to see more of you, the way your butt jiggles as you skip up the stairs. He bites his lip, groaning at the sight of it.
“Goddamn.”
You will be the death of him.
-
It’s dark outside by the time Eddie comes out of the steamy bathroom, the cabin is mostly dark too, candles illuminate the living room and the sound of music fills the space. A smile lingers on his face as he makes his way down the hallway, his wet curls bouncing with each step that he takes, he throws on a clean shirt, his gray sweatpants hang low on his hips.
A groan almost falls from his lips when he walks into the kitchen to you standing there in nothing but one of his shirts, now that sight is nothing new to him but it never fails to take his breath away, though usually you have on more than just the shirt. Your bare legs are glowy beneath the dim lights, from hours in the sun and that delicious smelling cream you always put on your skin after showering, you sway your hips to the music, shirt riding up in the process. Eddie can’t help but wonder if you are wearing any panties at all beneath his shirt. Fuck. He shouldn’t let his mind go there, you have done enough teasing for the day, he almost jerked off in the shower and maybe he should have, maybe that would have released some of the tension in him but he wouldn’t have been able to stay quiet, he never is.
God, this really will be a long weekend filled with torture and teasing. He knows he should probably stop playing this dangerous game but he just can’t help but play into it.
He slowly makes his way to you, you’re humming to the music, knife held in your hand as you cut up vegetables, an opened bottle of beer on the counter before you, your damp hair is braided loosely, falling down your back. He can smell your body wash from here, the sweetness of it – of you is so intoxicating to him, he wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around your waist, pull you into him and bury his face in the crook of your neck, inhale your scent and kissing your soft skin, he craves it so very badly, even more so, he craves for it to be something normal.
Eddie wants you to be more than just his best friend.
Everybody knows it, everybody but you.
And maybe it’s better this way, maybe he would lose you if you did find out.
You might be a tease, you might let him touch you in ways no one else is allowed to, you might give him hope sometimes, the hope that you could feel more than just something platonic for him but at the end of the day you are still best friends and he can’t lose that, especially not because he can’t control his feelings.
Because what happens when you do find out and you don’t feel the same?
What happens then?
What happens if it drives you away?
What happens if he loses you?
And he can’t allow that to happen, he can’t lose you, not you, anyone but you.
Eddie knows he should do himself a favor and stop being so touchy and affectionate with you, it does him no good, if anything, it makes him want you even more but he can’t help it, he has to take what he can get… right?
He comes up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist, he breathes in your sweetness, chuckling when you tense up for a second before a cute giggle falls from your lips.
“You scared me,” you whisper, tilting your head back, you look up at him as you ease into his touch.
“Sorry sweets, didn’t mean to,” he murmurs, teasing you with that pretty smile of his as he snatches a piece of the cucumber you’ve been cutting and bites into it, winking at you as he steps away again and takes a look into the large pot on the stove.
“Pasta?”
“Pasta Arrabiata,” you say, imitating the Italian accent that Steve always makes whenever he is cooking.
Eddie chuckles, “wow that was horrible.”
“Shut up,” you giggle, scrunching your nose at him.
If you knew how his heart flutters at your laughter and at your cute nose scrunches.
“Since when do we put cucumber in pasta?”
The disgusted look on your face makes him laugh again, he leans against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyes you up and down.
“I’m also making a salad, it’s for you, you need to eat more veggies.”
His lips curl into yet another smile, warmth blooms in his chest.
You take care of him, you always do. From making sure that he eats enough when he gets a little too lost in writing songs or working on campaigns to making sure that he wears a hat and a scarf when it’s cold outside, whether it’s something small or big, you are always there to look after him, you’ve always been there.
“Alright, I’m eating the greens just for you, sweets.”
He licks his lips as he eyes every inch of your exposed skin, tracing your soft features with the longing look in his brown eyes. The way his shirt looks on your body, the way your hair falls in front of your eyes despite you tucking it behind your ear just moments ago, the way you bite your lower up as you give him a disapproving look.
“No,” you shake your head, pointing your knife at him, “you gotta eat them for yourself.”
“Are you threatening me?” He smirks, closing the gap between you both again, you instantly lower the knife and place it on the counter.
You shrug, teasing him with a sweet smile, “what if I am?”
Eddie licks his lips, inching closer and closer to you, a smile tugs at his mouth, he hums as he raises his hand up to your face, combing his fingers through your wet hair before he tucks the fallen pieces behind your ear again.
He is unaware of the effect he has on you, of the fluttering in your chest, of the burning in your skin, of the shaky breaths you suck in.
“Then I think that’s really hot,” he winks at you as he moves his hand down your neck and then your shoulder, sliding it down along your spine, lower and lower until he’s holding your hip and pressing himself against you as he moves onto your other side, slower than necessary.
Your lips part in surprise, every trace that he has touched starts to burn, your knees grow weak and your heart starts beating faster – how much longer can you deny the emotions he causes inside you?
“So, how can I help?”
He is teasing you, you can hear it in his voice, and you don’t have to turn around to face him to know that there is a smirk on his face.
“Set the table, pick a movie to watch later, dinner is almost ready.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he murmurs into your ear before he walks away without another word, giving you a moment to take a few deep breaths.
You take a sip of your cold beer, closing your eyes for a moment, you listen to your beating heart, you feel the goosebumps on your skin, you feel the rush of blood to your cheeks, the weakness you feel for your best friend.
How much longer can you deny what is really inside of you, that it’s not just physical attraction?
Your heart flutters when his deep voice sounds through the dining room as he sings along to the music, your lips curl into an adoring smile. You can hear him rummaging through the drawers, trying to find the table cloth you assume.
Picking up the knife again, you continue chopping your vegetables, finishing up on your salad, though you quickly get lost in this… domestic energy you both have created. It feels so warm, so safe, so familiar. A feeling you can’t imagine sharing with anyone other than your Eddie.
He comes back into the kitchen, humming, he grabs two plates and cutlery and places them on the counter before he passes by you, without a teasing smile or comment, he places his hand on your lower back, he reaches over your shoulder to retrieve two wine glasses from the shelf and steps away again, leaving the kitchen once more.
It all feels so natural, so normal and yet, it makes you struggle to breathe because the butterflies in your stomach go wild – just the way they always do, but now it becomes harder and harder to not pay attention to them.
You take another deep breath, willing yourself to calm down, to push aside your feelings, to keep doing what you did before… be unaware of what is buried deep within your heart. So, you move along and distract yourself with finishing cooking dinner, not allowing your mind to take you further into this pit of hell as you call it, because that’s what love and feelings are, hell.
There is no good in love, there is no peace in having feelings.
It’s a rollercoaster ride that ends no matter how long it lasts, pleasant or not, it ends.
And you refuse to let feelings get in the way of yours and Eddie’s friendship, he means too much to you to risk taking a step further into something that your stupid heart desires, you love him too much to let your lingering feelings ruin what you both have, besides… who is to say that he could feel something for you?
You are his best friend and he is yours, that’s all you’ve ever been and it’s all you’ll ever be, best friends, nothing more or less, best friends who are affectionate with one another, who tease each other, who sleep in each other’s arms and do things that other best friend’s might not do… Though when you step into the dining room with the heavy pot in your hands, you halt in your tracks, freezing at the sight before you.
The table is set but not like usual, it makes you struggle to keep pushing away those feelings that have been sneaking their way to the surface because why did he place the plates so close to each other when the table is so big? And why did he place candles on the table and light them up instead of keeping the lights on? And why did he change the channel on the radio? Why is slow music playing instead of the rock channel he usually settles for when there is no better option for him?
You can handle his teasing, you can handle his touching, his flirting, his suggestive comments and looks he gives you so often.
But this is something else, this is something that would have normally made you run, a table set up so romantically, a dinner that seems to become something intimate. Yeah, if someone else had set this up, you would’ve definitely ran, you would’ve felt anxious, suffocated.
Those feelings don’t exist with him though, it’s quite the opposite, even with the lingering fear inside of you for what you feel for him. You feel giddy.
“Picked the movie, sweets,” Eddie calls from the living room, snapping you out of your troubled thoughts. He enters the room with a grin on his face.
You clear your throat and finally take the final steps to the table, putting down the pot in the middle, you glance at your best friend.
“Yeah? What’d you pick?”
“Something neither of us have seen yet,” he winks at you, moving closer and closer until he is right in front of you again. He grabs the chair and pulls it back, gazing down at you with his dark eyes, “sit.”
“I gotta get the rest of the food–”
“I’ll get it, now sit down, princess,” he murmurs.
Whenever his voice gets so low, your knees feel like they’ll buckle at any moment, shivers run down your spine and your cheeks grow hot.
“Alright,” you chuckle, plopping down on the wooden chair, you gaze up at your best friend, batting your eyelashes at him.
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, there is not much you have to do to drive him crazy.
“Smells really good in here,” he comments, the mouth watering smell of pasta sauce and garlic bread makes his stomach growl.
“Thanks Eds, now get the rest of the food before it gets cold.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he winks at you, squeezing your shoulder before he turns around and makes his way out of the room and into the kitchen.
You take a deep breath when he’s gone, rolling your shoulders and trying to calm your nerves, your heart is racing and it makes you feel ridiculous. You are here with Eddie, your best friend, Eddie. You got nothing to feel nervous about, you’ve been here plenty of times before, at dinner alone with him… though, it was never like this, you never had candle light dinners with slow music playing in the back. And his touches, his smiles, his voice never drove you this crazy before, he never made your heart flutter, his hands never made your skin feel hot, he never made you feel like you’d fall to the ground because your knees felt like jelly, he never made you feel those things before until recently… or did he?
“I’m starving,” Eddie says dramatically as he places the salad bowl and the garlic bread on the table. Before he takes a seat, he opens the wine bottle and reaches for your glass, he glances at you as he starts pouring it in your glass, he notices your flushed cheeks and how fidgety you are in your seat as you eye him up and down, it makes his heart flutter.
“We can’t have that,” you chuckle, reaching for his plate, you start filling it with salad first to which he protests, claiming that it will only make him starve even more. “You need some healthy food!”
“Not too much of it though,” he shakes his head as he lifts the lid of the pot, inhaling with a smile on his face, “I need that.”
Your giggle makes his smile widen.
“Alright.”
“You know I love your pasta,” he grins as he watches you fill the plate.
“That’s Steve’s pasta,” you chuckle.
“Nah, that’s his recipe, you cooked it,” he retorts, tilting his head to the side, “besides, you do it better.”
Warmth fills your chest and your cheeks, your smile gets even bigger now.
“Don’t tell him that! He’ll be distraught!”
“Don’t worry, it’s our secret,” he mumbles with a grin on his face as he finally takes the seat across from you, taking the plate from your hands when you hand it to him with a soft ‘thank you’.
He waits for you to fill your own plate before he picks up the fork or even takes a sip of the wine you picked when you went grocery shopping together this morning. He leans back and takes a look around, your surroundings are so different than usual, so unlike the small apartment he recently moved into where you eat your dinners at his tiny kitchen table. He appreciates the home cooked meals you always bless him with and the way you always want to take care of him, it makes him feel warm, it makes him feel safe.
Eddie wants to do the same for you, he wants to make you feel the way you make him feel but he believes that he can’t measure up, that he can’t give you what you give him, that he can’t provide you the same feeling of safety or warmth and maybe that is the sole reason why he hasn’t made a move on you yet, not because he is scared of ruining your friendship – god, he wants to ruin it so bad. But because you deserve more than he can give you, you deserve this, a big house with a stupid fireplace, a big garden, stability, someone who can take care of you, someone who can give you more than a small, shitty apartment, someone who can give you more than just the flowers he gives you or the pastries he brings you when you’re taking your lunch breaks at work.
Yeah, your friendship is very precious to him, he is scared of losing you, every goddamn day he wonders if this will be the day where you don’t show up for him but it isn’t the reason for his lack of effort in fighting for what he actually wants, it’s the fact that he believes that you deserve better than him, someone less like him, someone more like… Steve.
So he settles for loving you from afar, he tries to spoil you, he tries as best as he can. He teases you whenever he gets the chance to, he becomes giddy when you react to it, when you blush and giggle or even tease him back the way you did today, it sparks something in him, maybe it’s confidence or maybe just an illusion that you could feel the same, whatever it is, he basks in the feeling in those moments.
His eyes soften and the beating of his heart becomes stronger as he watches you, the way you dig your teeth into your bottom lip, the way your beautiful eyes shine in the dim light, the light flush in your cheeks making you look so damn cute, the way your smile only widens when you glance at him, a small huff falling from your mouth.
“What are you looking at?” You tease, putting down your plate before you.
You.
He always looks at you.
Eddie knows he won’t have this forever, someday you will meet someone who will give you everything that he wishes he could, someday he won’t be the one sitting across from you enjoying your dinner, someday he won’t be the one in your life.
“At your shirt, is it new… or?” He teases, acting like he didn’t just get lost in his head, thinking of your future that he might not be a part of.
You look down at his shirt, smiling proudly, you stole it from him the last time you stayed over, “mhm got it from this store called the drawer.”
Eddie snorts, though he adores the look on your face, “you’re so lame, the drawer? Really?”
“Mhmm,” you nod, picking up the fork you start eating happily.
“Who sold it to you?” Eddie asks, squinting his eyes at you.
“Oh, this uh… really handsome guy, said he’s in a band, corroded coffin?” You raise your brow, pretending to think. “Yeah, that’s what it was.”
Eddie’s stomach flips in excitement at the compliment. You’ve called him handsome plenty of times before, but it never fails to make him blush.
“Damn, he sounds really cool,” Eddie says, laughing.
You nod, a serious and adoring look now flashing in your features, no hint of amusement behind those eyes, no teasing, just pure adoration for him, “he is, he is the coolest actually.”
He gets flustered easily when he’s with you but when you look at him like this, with that sweet smile and those soft eyes, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, he doesn’t know what to say or how to act, so he hides his face by looking down at the delicious food in front of him, a sheepish smile resting on his face, one that makes your own even bigger. He finally takes a bite of the pasta and his eyes instantly close as he moans at the taste of it, making you giggle yet again.
“Fuck me, yeah I’m sorry sweets, but I ain’t letting you get married, you’re stuck with me,” he jokes as he takes another bite, completely forgetting about all the anxious thoughts that swirled in his mind just moments ago.
“Oh, you mean I’m stuck being your private chef?”
“I wouldn’t call it that.”
You raise your eyebrows at him, chewing on the garlic bread slowly, you try to ignore the heat building up in your stomach as you look into his chocolate eyes, waiting for him to say that word.
“Oh, then what would you call it?”
Eddie looks at you through hooded eyes, a teasing smirk tugging at his plump lips.
“Housewife.”
A surprised giggle falls from your lips, though your cheeks start burning, especially under his gaze. Something tugs at your chest, something strong, something warm. Housewife. You never craved to be that, you never had such desires. Sure, you always dreamed of finding the one, finding true love, finding someone who will love you the way you can love, the way you always wished to love but that’s it, you never imagined yourself past the dating stage, you never daydreamed of weddings and a husband, you never thought of becoming a wife, a housewife at that but… when you think of yourself as that with Eddie by your side, with your best friend, with the one who had always been by your side through thick and thin, something in you beats a little stronger.
You clear your throat, lowering your gaze to his ringed fingers, you can’t help but let your mind take you to sacred places.
Eddie watches you intensely, eyes lighting up at the flustered state you are suddenly in, a state he only ever sees you in when he teases you with touches, with pick up lines, with his flirtations but never this. There is a little spark in him now, the sparkle of hope.
“Well that would make you my husband.” Your voice is shaky, filled with nerves and something else that he can’t decipher at this moment.
Oh, Eddie would put a ring on your fingers right this second.
He never really planned his future, he never really saw one, especially not one in which he would be happy with a wife and kids by his side but he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t want these things with you. You make him crave things that were never even a thought of his before he met you, you make him want to be that for you, a husband.
He doesn’t believe that he can give you what you want, what you need, what you deserve but he knows one thing for sure, if he was given the chance, he would make you so damn happy.
“Would that be so bad?”
You look up again and into his eyes, something in them is different now, something in the way he looks at you is so… intense and raw, there is a softness in them, one stronger than usual.
Would that be bad?
You shake your head before you can even come up with the right words to say, or with words you should say. Something has changed, perhaps a long time ago or just now, but you know one thing for sure, your heart never beat this strongly before and your hands never itched to touch his so badly.
You know the truth is hidden behind the walls you have put up, but that wall started crumbling a long time ago, long before you had the chance to even notice.
The energy in the room has shifted into something more… intimate and it’s not the candles or the music, it adds to it, but those aren’t the main reasons, it’s the energy you both have created, it’s the lingering touches, it’s his foot touching yours under the table, not playfully like usual, it’s different, it’s all so different but it’s good. A comfortable silence takes over the room as you continue eating and as the seconds and the minutes pass, and you both sip on your wines, pouring a second glass, you both get a little bolder when the alcohol hits you.
Your hands inch closer and closer to each other, your eye contact becomes a little more intense, making your breathing stutter and your heart skip several beats.
And when he is done with his food, he pushes his plate aside and leans his elbows on the table, he clears his throat and takes a deep breath and then, he brushes his fingertips against your own before he envelopes your hand fully, taking it into his large one.
You can’t describe the feelings rushing through you, he held your hand plenty of times before but until now, you never let yourself feel the rush of it, you never allowed yourself to pay attention to the electric feeling cursing through your veins but you allow it now, slowly… you allow it.
“They’re really missing out, aren’t they?” You speak the first words that come to your mind as you stare into your best friend's beautiful eyes.
Eddie looks around the dining room, shrugging when he looks back at you, his eyes roaming your face, his lips curl into a smile.
“I don’t know, I kinda like it just being the two of us, we never really get the chance to be alone like this.”
You nod in agreement, “that’s true, I like it too,” you murmur before you reach for your glass and take a big sip of wine.
“More wine and weed for us,” Eddie jokes, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes playfully, setting the glass back down, you tilt your head to the side, “speaking of weed, wanna roll us a joint?”
Eddie doesn’t want to let go of your hand just yet but he nods, he could use that relaxation anyways, maybe it will calm his nerves around you before he does something that he might end up regretting later on.
“Yeah, I’m gonna clean this up first.”
You shake your head, “no, I can do it–”
“Sweetheart,” Eddie says sternly, glaring at you, “I know I said housewife, I hope you know that doesn’t mean slave.”
You can’t help but giggle at the seriousness on his face or in his voice, “Eddie, I hope you know that that’s exactly what most men think of when they want a housewife.”
He frowns in disgust, scoffing at that, he begrudgingly lets go of your hand and pushes his chair back.
“Well, most men are pigs who don’t even deserve a wife in the first place,” he says, getting up, he glares at you and points at you to stay seated. “You don’t have to do all the work, you cook, I clean up, it’s simple.”
A smile graces your features, you tap the table before you reach for the wine bottle, pouring yourself a third glass, “well then, whatever you say, husband,” you giggle and get up as well, holding your hands up in surrender when he gives you a warning glance, “don’t worry, I won’t lift a finger, I’m gonna grab my wine and wait for you in the living room.”
“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs as he gathers the dirty plates, “sit your pretty ass down.”
You definitely feel the wine in your system now, that fuzzy feeling and the slight dizziness feels so welcoming though.
“Yes, sir.”
Before Eddie can stop his mouth from running, those words tumble out of his mouth just like that.
“Good girl.”
You nearly choke on your spit and trip over nothing, his words rush right to your core, your cheeks start burning hotter than before.
Good girl.
He called you a good girl, with that raspy, deep voice of his that never fails to make your insides crawl with need, that never fails to ring through your head when you’re in your bed with your hand between your thighs, imagining him and his voice calling you just that.
You don’t know how you manage to keep your composure but you do, only allowing a soft giggle to leave your lips as you continue your way out of the dining room and into the living room, you round the corner and rush to the big couch where he luckily can’t see you, your knees almost buckle before you can even take a seat.
You close your eyes and sigh out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Pressing a hand to your chest, you nearly gasp at the beating of your heart.
“Oh my god,” you whisper to yourself.
Eddie will be the death of you, you are sure of it, if not tonight then tomorrow, and if not then, then on the last day of your trip.
The veil that was hiding all your truths was already being lifted when you were still in Hawkins, slowly everything was coming out, all the feelings you were denying, all the things you were so afraid of admitting, you lost control and power a long time ago. The moment Robin opened her eyes to what was there this whole time, the moment she confronted you about your feelings for him was the moment you could no longer hide. The veil is no longer there, it’s long gone and lost with the wind.
You run your fingers through your hair and lean back into the soft cushions, taking a big gulp of the red wine that will surely give you a headache tomorrow morning, you keep your eyes closed for a moment, you begin to curse her out in your head because all your reactions to his words and touches just now only confirmed all her beliefs.
Fuck Robin for saying all that shit to you that changed your feelings and opened your eyes completely, a month ago. Fuck her for telling you that you indeed have feelings for Eddie, for your best friend. Fuck her for making you start realizing it and be self conscious for it. Fuck her for making you feel scared of losing Eddie because of it.
“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself, you open your eyes and look around the lightly dimmed room, you take in the sound of Eddie’s voice, of his humming to the music, of the way your heart flutters more and more.
You are so fucked.
You will ruin the friendship, you are sure of it.
If only you knew that this is exactly what he wants.
You keep yourself busy with your wine glass, staring into blank space as you continue letting your thoughts eat at you, letting the insecurities and the doubts creep in, when all you want to do is get lost in the feeling of what he gave to you at the dinner table, just moments ago.
You are so lost in your head, you don’t even notice the music being turned off, you don’t even hear his footsteps or his voice until he is standing right before you after throwing a bunch of different snacks on the coffee table.
“I know the munchies are gonna hit you,” your best friend chuckles as he finally sits down beside you, joint already between his fingers, lighter on the coffee table. He turns to you, wiggling his eyebrows at you as he offers you the joint.
Yeah, maybe this will help, maybe this will relax you enough to get a grip on yourself again, maybe this will stop you from doing something that will make you regret.
Your heart, your body, everything in you seems to be sick of living in denial though because before your mind can kill this moment, you are already moving forward, looking into his eyes, you lean down, closer and closer, you wrap your lips around the joint that is still snug between his fingers.
The widening of his eyes, the parting of his lips, snaps you out of whatever had possessed you, though not enough, not even in the slightest.
You raise your brows at him expectedly, waiting for him to light up the joint for you.
The flush in his cheeks, the rosy color taking over his face, his squirming makes satisfaction rush you.
You were teasing him all morning, all afternoon and every time you added one more, you wanted to risk more, but now things just have gotten out of hand, you got lost in your own little game and you let your feelings, your desires take full control of you.
Poor Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself as he looks down at you, if it wasn’t for the alcohol in his system, he would lose all composure and stutter like a little kid around his crush. He manages to reach for the lighter and he never looks away from your pretty eyes or your lips, or the shirt that keeps riding up on your thighs, a little more and more.
He lights the joint and he is surprised when you don’t look away, when your eyes stay locked with his and a satisfied moan escapes you – only worsening his case. You inhale deeply and furrow your eyebrows in concentration, a lazy smile spreads on your kissable lips and you lean back further after blowing out the smoke. You bring your knees up to your chest and hand him the joint. “That’s nice,” you sigh out in pleasure, “I needed that.”
“You’re starting to sound like an addict,” Eddie smirks, hiding his blushing cheeks behind his curls as he takes the joint from your fingers and places it between his lips, unaware of the way you follow his every movement as he gets comfortable beside you, resting his feet on the table, he stretches his arm out and wraps it around the headrest behind you.
“What… movie did you pick out?” You ask him and he doesn’t even notice your stuttering or the way your eyes are glued to his exposed skin as his shirt rides up, exposing his happy trail.
Eddie shrugs, reaching for the remote, he glances at you, “I dunno, one of the movies Steve recommended we should watch.”
“Oh?”
“Mhmm,” He nods and presses play before he throws the remote on the coffee table, “let’s see how good his taste is.”
“You already know he loves the cheesy shit,” you laugh and scoot closer to him with your wine glass still in your hand, you’re searching for his warmth.
“Yeah, he does,” Eddie chuckles.
He lowers his gaze to your thighs, noticing the goosebumps on your skin, he puts the joint into the ashtray and he reaches for the knitted blanket thrown over the couch, he spreads it open and covers your legs with it, “don’t want you freezing, sweets,” he murmurs.
Your eyes soften for him, a smile spreading on your lips. You lean forward and place your wine glass on the coffee table and then you scoot closer to him and throw the blanket over his lap as well before you place your head on his chest, snuggling up against him with a content look on your face… beside the blushing on your cheeks.
Eddie wraps his arm around you without a second thought – this is nothing unusual for you, neither is the hand holding, or the sharing of clothes or the intimate touches but everything you do today, that you usually do as well, feels so different, it makes him nervous, it makes you nervous, it feels like the first time.
And when you place your hand above his heart, he grows anxious that you might feel just how strongly it’s beating for you, he is scared that you will figure out his feelings and that that will make you run, run from him.
“Your heart is racing,” you whisper softly, causing him to tense up a little but when you press your chin against his chest and you gaze up into his eyes, he feels a sense of calmness bleed through him, safety.
Eddie blinks, not knowing what to say without giving away the truth, without giving away just how much he wants to kiss you right now, how much he wants to make you his, how badly he wants to confess and get it off his chest.
“Is everything okay?” Your angelic voice makes him feel weak, the candle light makes you look so soft, your scent makes him feel drunk, his lips yearn to touch yours, his heart screams for you.
God, he really wants to kiss you so bad.
And he wants to kiss you even more when he sees the way your own eyes flicker between his lips, his neck and his eyes. He tightens his hold on you, prompting you to scoot even closer as you lean your warm body into his as your hand slips down to his stomach, your nails grazing the sliver of exposed skin on his stomach, he nearly whimpers at the feeling. You truly know how to drive him crazy.
“Yeah,” he whispers, lips curling into a smile, “everything is perfect.”
Almost perfect.
It would be perfect if he could just grab your face and smash his lips against yours, kissing you breathless.
You bite your lower lip as you keep staring up at him, you look as though you want to say something, your eyebrows pull together whenever you hold something back, whenever you desire to speak up about something – he doesn’t pressure you to talk though, he never does, he gives you time, as always.
His eyelashes flutter, his lips part in surprise when he watches you move closer to him, closer and closer until your lips are pressed against his jaw, you peck him once before you shyly pull away and bury your face in his chest, turning your attention back to the TV right as the movie begins to play and he is glad that you do, because his eyes widen the way they probably never did before and blood rushes to his cheeks, no doubt making him look like a tomato right now, his heart feels as though it will beat out of his chest at any moment.
You were teasing him this morning, you were very clear about that, the smirk and the smugness on your face gave it away every time but you are no longer teasing now, this is different, this is something else, this is something new.
Eddie swallows the lump in his throat and he takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly and shakily.
He wonders if you know the effect you have on him, he wonders if you know how he feels for you, he wonders if you know just what he would do for you.
“Pass me the joint?” He whispers, not recognizing his own voice due to how shaky it is.
You do as he asks, pulling away for just a second, you reach for the joint and hand it to him before you settle back comfortably against his chest, pressing your cheek tightly against it.
Despite the nervousness in him, he keeps his arm wrapped around you tightly, and he even takes it a little further, becoming a little bolder, he sneaks his hand under your shirt and lays his plat flatly against your warm back.
You sigh in contentment and curl further into him, welcoming the touch of his hand, especially when he starts rubbing up and down.
“That feels so nice,” you murmur, moaning softly, “don’t stop, Eddie.”
Of course it wasn’t the greatest move to make, of course it would backfire, of course he would be the one with the problem. It’s already not helping that you’re almost fully on top of him, hand underneath his shirt as your nails scratch against his skin and now you are moaning because of him.
He places the joint between his lips and takes a long drag, needing it desperately.
“Your hands always feel so nice, Eds.” The words tumble fall from your lips just like that, like you no longer find yourself caring about the consequences of your words or your actions, maybe it’s the alcohol and the weed in your system that makes you so careless and bold, or maybe it’s the reassuring touch of your best friend that gives you the confidence to let you say what’s on your mind.
Eddie freezes, shocked he stares at the movie playing on the screen, his hand stops moving as well for a moment, he wonders if he really heard you right. You press against his hand again, wanting more.
“And you don’t know what they can do, sweets,” he rasps into your ear, confidently and like he isn’t losing his mind over you.
A whimper sounds through the room, your whimper. You try to conceal it by coughing into your hand but he heard it, and he felt how you tensed up at his words.
He swallows harshly, squirming beneath you, he tries his hardest to hold back that growl. His hand slips from under your shirt and down to your thigh when you lean forward to reach for the joint in the ashtray.
“Rolling good joints?” You murmur, trying to hide your nervousness and how flustered you really are.
Eddie can’t help but snort, mumbling a soft ‘sure’ to your question.
Despite the tension in the room and your unwanted awkwardness, time keeps passing and the night goes on, the movie continues playing, moving into a direction that neither of you expected at the start of it – what begins with an innocent scene of the beautiful lead getting ready for her date with the guy she is keeping a secret, develops into something different, something more, something that should not have the effect on you that it does right now but when they start kissing in his car, slowly and sensually at first, her fingers buried in his long hair as his slip under her shirt, you can’t help but bite your lip. Your skin grows hot, your thighs clench together, your grip on his shirt tightens as your mind flips this scene into you kissing Eddie in his car.
The wine was supposed to help, the weed too, but neither of them did, neither of them managed to give you the calming effect that you were hoping for, if anything both only heightened your senses and intensified absolutely everything in you, because suddenly, his body feels so much closer, his cologne so much more intoxicating than usual, his touch heating your skin on fire, his breath on your skin tickles you and those evil thoughts in your head make you wonder what it would feel like to feel his breath elsewhere, to feel his lips on your skin and his hands holding you tightly, keeping you in place as his lips touch parts of you only your hands did before.
Your heart starts beating faster and you begin to lose composure, the rational voice in your head is gone for good, desire and need taking over now, a confidence you didn’t know you had rushing through you as you move your leg, pressing the heel of your foot against his shin.
And while you are getting bolder, Eddie is trying his best to stay calm, to not act upon his feelings and ruin the one good thing in his life, despite the clear signs you are currently giving, he makes no move, even when he wants nothing more but to bury his face in your neck and suck on your skin until you are marked up by him. The smell of your perfume drives him insane, the feeling of your skin pressed against his makes his stomach flutter with no end near in sight, his heart hasn’t stopped racing yet.
The blanket slips from your lower half, his shirt has ridden up on your body, revealing the panties you are wearing, the black lace resting so perfectly on your soft skin. He clenches his jaw at the sight of it, biting back the moan that wants to fall off his lips so badly.
Something else flutters now, not just his heart or those butterflies in his stomach and it makes him so uncomfortable because he won’t be able to hide it, not right now.
Soft moans fill the living room, along with the sounds of lips smacking together. You bite your lip even harder, hold onto him even tighter as your eyes stay glued to the screen, watching intently as the couple undresses each other slowly, their hands becoming more and more desperate on each other, whimpers getting louder.
You are so lost in it, you let your body move on its own, your foot continues to slide up his shin and his knee, hip angling as you twist your body further into him. As the scene gets more and more intense, the thoughts in your head do too.
The coil in your stomach grows, burning hotly, you are throbbing between your legs, growing wetter and wetter each passing second as you imagine yourself moaning like the girl on the TV – moaning for him, with him.
Eddie is frozen in place, stunned at everything that is happening this very moment, not only is the scene very erotic but the moves you are pulling now are just about enough for him to get hard – and he can’t exactly conceal anything, not when he is wearing grey sweatpants and you are tightly pressed against him.
Do you even know what you are doing to him?
When Eddie shifts beneath you and his fingers dig deeper into your skin, you lower your head and tear your eyes from the screen to his lap and your mouth waters in an instant, eyes growing wide and the burning in your stomach only worsens.
“Got a problem there, Eds?” You blurt out as you stare at the very prominent bulge.
He wants to crawl under the blanket and hide his flustered face but instead he rolls his eyes, trying to act cool, averting his gaze from you and back to the screen, pretending that it’s the girl in the movie that caused this.
“I am just a man, leave me alone…”
A giggle escapes you, and you look up at your best friend to find him blushing furiously. His long lashes kissing his skin every time he blinks, his dark eyes shine so prettily, his lips are just so… so kissable. His neck is so perfect to be marked up by you. His dark hair cascading down to his shoulders so perfectly, but you want to make a mess of him.
“Aw, poor man,” you tease him before you finally let go of any doubts, of any fears or anxious thoughts, you grab the joint from between his fingers and put it back on the ashtray and then, you lean back to him and do something that you always craved to do, you press your lips against his jaw, kissing him.
His lips part in surprise, heart stopping for a moment, he stares into blank space now as you repeat the motion, pressing your lips against his skin again and again, humming in contentment.
His legs feel like jelly and if he wasn’t sitting down already, he surely would’ve felt his knees buckle at this electric touch. Words can’t describe the feeling of this, of you. He imagined this so many times, your lips on his skin, just the imagination of it had him feeling giddy but this, he can’t even function.
You move closer and closer, your hand finding the chain around his neck, your breath kissing his skin, you gaze up at him with those pretty eyes that could make him do anything you would ask for.
“Sweetheart, what are you doing…?” He finds his voice again.
You shrug, looking at him innocently, “I don’t know, I just want to kiss your face, is that so bad?” You ask before you lean in again, not waiting for an answer from him, you press your lips back against his jaw, finger hooked around his chain and your other hand moving from his chest and up to his hair, giving it a slight pull.
Eddie’s eyes flutter closed, the soft smile that rested on his features before slowly falling now. He clenches his jaw when you kiss it again and again, his heart races like crazy now, the feelings in him, the love he feels for you bursting in him as he finally gets a taste of what things could be like if you were his girl.
You light up a fire in him, but make him weak at the same time, you make him feel safe but he also burns for you, he desires you in ways he wasn’t even aware existed, only a taste of this, of you, could kill him because if he can’t have you again after having you once, he surely will die slowly and torturously as he forever will be reminded of this, of what could be.
He breathes in shakily as his hands fall to your waist, gripping you tighter than ever before, it takes everything in him not to grab your face and kiss you senseless but it takes even more to stop you.
He wants this, he wants you so bad, he wants to keep feeling your lips, your touch, you.
But what is this to you?
His hand moves up to the back of your neck, he wraps his fingers around it, pulling you away softly with a deep inhale.
“Don’t do this to me now, darling,” he whispers weakly, not caring about how vulnerable he sounds, how vulnerable he must look right now.
You ignore his pleading, and you move closer again, straddling his thigh as you wrap your arms around his neck, you look into his eyes as you inch closer and closer to him, no longer caring about anything. You kiss his cheek softly and then the other, noting the soft sigh falling from his lips, the grip of his hand on you becoming tighter and stronger.
Eddie is breathing heavily now, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself as your lips are so close to his own.
“You’re killing me here, sweetheart,” he whispers.
You pull back to look at him, taking in the intense emotions flashing in his eyes as he stares at you with nothing but hunger, his eyes flicking back and forth between your lips and your neck.
“Why?” You whisper innocently as you lean in again and without thinking, you press your lips to the corner of his mouth.
Eddie’s eyes flutter closed for a moment, a curse word falls from his lips as he clenches his jaw again.
“Because I’m trying to hold back.”
“Who says I want you to?” You ask softly and he opens his eyes again, tilting his head to the side, he furrows his brows at you.
“Don’t do this to me, baby, you know how bad I–”
The brush of your knee against his bulge as you throw your leg over his thigh completely leaves the words stuck in his throat, you straddle him the way you only ever did in his dreams.
“How bad you what?” You whisper as you slowly lean your forehead against his, letting your lips brush against his own as you gaze into his eyes.
You can see the way he is holding back from doing what he wants, what you both want, so you give him a little push. You nuzzle your nose against his, giving him that soft look that gets you anything you want, that makes him weak.
If only you knew just the feelings you cause inside of him.
Eddie takes a deep breath, he shuts down all the racing thoughts in his head and finally, he cups your cheeks, holding your face gently.
“Oh, fuck me,” he whispers and smashes his lips against yours, kissing you finally. He pushes all his fears and his insecurities aside, not wanting to dwell on them any longer, not wanting to think of them now when he gets the chance to do this and your whimper, that needy little sound that comes from you when you kiss him back only fuels his need to kiss you harder and deeper.
You press yourself against him, wrapping your arms around him tightly, you bury your fingers into his curls, taking a fistful of his hair as you move your lips against his, slowly at first. You get so lost in it, loving the way it feels to kiss his lips, to kiss your best friend. It’s everything and more than you imagined it to feel like, it feels so perfect, so right, so safe. You let yourself fall into him, melting into his embrace as his hands move down to your waist, holding you tightly the way you do to him.
The sound of your sighs and moans, lips smacking and the movie still playing in the back, whimpers coming from the girl on the TV makes it all a little more intense, because the burning in your thighs becomes unbearable, the feeling of his tongue brushing against your lower lip as he pushes you down against his bulge has you aching and yearning.
To Eddie this feels like a dream, like it’s something not real, not even close to being real because this is something that only ever lived in his mind, whether he was just thinking about you at work, while writing songs, while sitting next to you or while getting off in the middle of the night, this was only ever a dream but now it isn’t. The kiss is real, your moans are real, your body is truly pressed against his, you are sitting right on top of him, slowly dragging your hips along his aching dick and it feels so fucking good, better than he could ever even dream of.
Everything in him burns for you, his heart, his soul, every cell, every organ, you are like a drug to him that he was already addicted to before he even tried it, but now? He is gone forever. A kiss that could lead to nothing, that could only stay this, a kiss, perhaps a mistake for you that you will regret come morning, enough to break him.
What is it gonna be? The kiss that will lead to the start of something his heart screamed for since the very beginning? Or will this be his kiss of death?
He has to be sure, he needs to be sure so he pulls away, begrudgingly so, he pulls away from the kiss that he never wants to stop, breathlessly, he opens his eyes to look at you for the first time after this change between you both but you are not having it, leaning in with a whine, you peck his lips again, making his heart flutter.
“Baby–” You cut him off by kissing him again, desperately and he once again has to pull away reluctantly.
“Baby, hear me out first, fuck–” he groans when you peck his lips again, whining at him in a way that has him clenching his jaw but this time, he cups your cheeks and pulls you away from him and you finally open your eyes and look at him, pouting at him with a needy look on your face. Fuck. “Fucking hell, wait– you need to tell me if you really want this or if its the alcohol and the weed talking.”
You shake your head wildly, grabbing his wrists as you lean closer again, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his chin and finally his lips again, the way you always desired to, the way you always dreamed of, the way you always denied yourself of it when it’s all you ever wanted.
“Is it the alcohol and the weed talking for you?” You murmur against his lips, looking at him through hooded eyes.
With a frown he shakes his head, “fuck no, I’ve wanted this for so long, sweetheart, you have no idea for how long.” He admits openly, not caring about being vulnerable right now, about admitting his feelings for you – the friendship is ruined now.
Your lips twitch, eyes shining with nothing but love for him, for your best friend, your heart bursts in your chest, everything in you calms down yet screams in joy. You can see the anxiety in his eyes, the fear that lingers within him, you want to take it.
“Good, then we’re on the same page,” you whisper happily, nuzzling your nose against his.
Eddie blinks, staring at you, stunned. A shaky breath falls from his lips, his heart has stopped beating for a moment, the world has stopped moving, time has stopped. He had dreamed of this for so long, fantasized about what it would feel like to kiss you, to touch you, to hold you, to love on you but he had never thought of this, simply because he never thought it would happen, that it would be a possibility, you feeling the same. He thought he was doomed, cursed to spend his life loving you from afar and watching you slip through his fingers as the years would pass, he would love you while you would love someone else, while you would build a life with someone else, he would stay your best friend, the obsessed, lovesick best friend who would never move on, the best friend who would choose you over and over again even if he was given the chance to be loved by someone else, he would never love anyone the way he loves you, his heart belongs to you, fully. He is yours, he had always been yours but he never thought that you could be his, no matter how many nights he spent wishing for it. Life had never been kind to him so why would it grant him the highest wish he has? And yet, here you are, looking at him as though he hung the stars and the moon, as though he is the best thing that was ever created, like he is something pure, something beautiful, something worth loving. Have you always looked at him this way?
His eyes start burning as his heart starts beating again, the warmth he felt because of you, turning into burning desire, the desire to claim you like he had always wanted to, to rip his heart from his chest and give it to you.
You whisper his name sweetly, grabbing his hand softly, you move it down your shoulder, your chest and finally placing it above your beating heart.
“All for you, baby.”
His breath hitches in his throat, his eyes flicker between your face and his hand, feeling the racing of your heart that matches the beat of his own. His eyes soften, love taking over the lust that was flashing in them just moments ago. He doesn’t know what to say, the words are stuck in his throat, he is speechless.
You can see it, you can see the shock in his eyes, he stares at you like he wonders if this is real or not. He is breathing heavily, blinking slowly, his lips part, cheeks flushing.
“Eddie–”
Suddenly, he moves forward and grabs your cheeks again, slamming his lips against yours roughly, desperately. He kisses you hotly, strongly, more intensely than he did before, like he is scared that you might slip away if he doesn’t do it this way.
You throw your arms around his neck again, whining needily into the kiss, you part his lips with your tongue and slip it into his mouth, deepening the kiss further as you grind your hips against him, making him moan against your lips as he holds you stronger, gripping you tightly as though he is scared that you will slip away if he doesn’t.
This kiss is much hungrier than the first, so much deeper and intense, it’s filled with a desperation that was pent up for a long, long time – not weeks or even months, but years. He waited for years for this, you can feel it and your heart races wildly for him. The need to show him just how much you want him too, how you reciprocate his love burns so deeply within you.
You grind your hips against his, feeling just how hard he is for you, the ache between your legs becomes worse, unbearable, and he can tell, he can feel by the way you move your hips, by the sounds of your needy whines.
Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself, never had he felt such desperation before, such an overwhelming amount of love. He feels stuck between wanting to cry out of pure happiness while making love to you and devouring you vigorously as he shows you just how much he needs, wants you.
His ringed fingers dig into your waist and he begins to push you off of him, guiding you down against the soft cushions without breaking the kiss, he groans against your lips when you spread your legs for him, tugging him on top of you before he can even do it himself. God, you truly want him just as much.
Eddie slides his hand up your body, cupping your cheek once more, he continues kissing you, clashing his tongue against yours, making you mewl as he takes control and grinds against you, a movement that tears out a different kind of sound in you, a whine so needy that it sends shockwaves through his body.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he breathes against your lips heavily as he pulls away from the kiss and opens his eyes to reveal just how dark they are now.
You wrap your legs around his waist, causing your shirt to ride up in the process, your panties exposed to him now.
He clenches his jaw, trying to control himself but it’s becoming so hard when you are under him like this, looking up at him with those needy eyes as you grab each side of his neck, leaning up to kiss him, again and again, pecking his cheeks and his lips before you trail the kisses down to his jawline.
“I need you so bad, Eds,” you whisper into his skin, moving your hand down his shoulder and his arm, fingernails grazing his goosebump covered skin, you take his hand in yours and bring it back down to your body, placing it on your chest, “please?” You ask in desperation.
He takes a deep breath, making his heart flutter and his body burn when he grabs at your boobs for the very first time.
“Please what?” He murmurs as he presses you down again so he can latch his lips onto your jawline. “Tell me what you need, sweet girl. My fingers, my tongue… or my cock?” He surprises himself when those words fall off his lips when he doesn’t even know how to function at this moment.
You shut your eyes and bite your lip when he kisses down your neck, finding your sweet spot with no struggle, he starts sucking.
“Mmm, y-your fingers,” you whimper as you take his other free hand and guide it down your stomach slowly, “want your fingers, Eddie and then your cock.”
He could cum right here and there, he had dreamed of this too many times.
“Yeah?” He rasps against you, still kissing your neck, “you want me to fuck you with my fingers first?”
You nod wildly, bringing his hand down to your laced panties, you spread your legs further, grinding against him needily. You are so wet, having soaked through your panties already.
“I-I always think about you when I touch myself, I imagine it’s your fingers instead of mine,” you admit with burning cheeks.
Eddie opens his eyes widely, leaning back from your neck after marking it up, he looks at your blushing face.
“R-Really?” He stutters, though with a satisfied look on his face.
Through hooded eyes, you look at your best friend as you nod shyly, humming.
“Guess we got something in common then,” Eddie smirks as he leans down, pressing his forehead against yours, he pecks your lips as he slips his fingers down between your legs, finally, cupping your pussy, he presses against your wetness, growling at the feeling.
“Fuck baby, you’re soaked.”
“I always am for you!” You whine, desperately grinding against the heel of his hand.
His cock twitches at your words, stomach tensing up.
The thought that you might’ve been sitting next to him during movie nights, squirming because of him, waiting to go home so you could touch yourself while thinking of him drives him insane. If he had known… he could’ve done this way sooner.
Eddie pushes your panties aside, dipping his fingers through your folds, he makes both you and himself moan.
“Don’t tease,” you whimper, bucking your hips and pressing yourself against him as he teases your entrance.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Eddie says as he brings his digits up to your clit, “can’t believe you’re letting me do this.”
While the shocked look on his face and the disbelief is cute, you can tell what is going on – what went on in his head all this time that he thought that his feelings would never be reciprocated.
You grab his face and smash your lips against his again, kissing him just as roughly as he kissed you the second time, you try to show him, to make him feel what had been there all this time, and he welcomes it so happily, kissing you back right away while his fingers continue to move against your clit, teasingly at first, intensifying the aching inside of you. He licks into your mouth, sliding his tongue against yours as he moans needily, getting lost in the feeling he had craved for so long.
His stomach flutters when you wrap one leg around his waist while rolling your hips, wanting and needing more, he can feel you getting wetter and wetter, moans getting louder, lips moving sloppier. He slips his fingers lower, dipping his middle finger into you slowly, inching it inside of you, pulling the neediest sounds out of you as you clench around him already.
“Fuck,” he mumbles against your mouth, “you’re so tight.”
“More!” You demand with a whine, making him chuckle.
“More huh? One finger not enough for you, sweets?” He asks to which you shake your head, furrowing your brows when he adds a second finger, scissoring them inside of you as he opens you up.
“No, I-I want more,” you whimper at the feeling of him splitting you open, preparing you for his dick, just the thought of it has you drooling already. “I need–” the words die on your tongue and you quickly forget what you even wanted to say when he starts fucking you in slow but deep movements.
“You need what, hmm?” He taunts you, unable to hide the satisfied smirk on his face as he watches you fall apart beneath him, losing your mind over just his fingers as your jaw falls slack and those sweet sounds begin to fill the room along with the squelching of your pussy. “God… You’re so fucking wet.” Eddie doesn’t even know what to do with himself, his heart is beating like crazy, his cock is aching in his grey sweats that feel way too tight by now, pre cum already leaking through the thick material, something he should feel embarrassed about, but he can’t, not when you look him up and down like you’re some hungry and feral animal in heat.
“All because of you, I’ve been wet all day!” You whine as you grab at his hair when he buries his face in your neck, breathing heavily against your skin as he covers you in love bites. He growls against you, loving those words a little too much.
His wrist starts moving faster, fingers splitting you open, he fucks them in and out of you.
“Do you fuck your tight little pussy like this too?”
Your brows are scrunched together so tightly, eyes rolling back when he curls them inside of you, hitting just the right spot to make you cry out.
“N-No! Not t-this good!”
You roll your hips against his hand, craving to feel him deeper. Your hands are all over him, his hair, his shoulders, his back, gripping at his shirt as you hold on for dear life while he sucks on your neck and fingerfucks your sopping pussy. The room is filled with such dirty sounds, something that should leave you a blushing mess, something that should leave your cheeks burning in embarrassment but you cannot bother to care, it just feels so good and Eddie fucking loves it.
He pulls back to look at you, to admire your face and those marks he left on you, proudly he looks down at you, a look of love, a look of lust flashing in his eyes. He watches the way you bite your lip, eyes open widely again, you admire him too. And then, you push yourself up on your elbow, pecking his lips before you look down at his hand, wanting to see, wanting to watch his fingers moving in and out of you.
“You like that, huh?” He mumbles as he presses his forehead against yours, “you like being fucked by your best friend like this?”
You whimper again, louder this time as you nod, clenching around his fingers so tightly that he can’t help but growl – how is he going to last? How will he be able to control himself not to cum the second he enters you?
Everything becomes so much hotter, the air around you, the energy in this room, his body against yours, his fingers inside of you, the coil in your stomach, everything starts burning and somehow, it only fuels the need in you.
You grab at the hem of your shirt and push it up to your collarbones, exposing your chest to him, your boobs bounce as you throw your head back against the pillow to see him better and his reaction does not disappoint, if you weren’t so lost in pleasure you would have giggled at the awestruck look on his face, at the wide eyes and the parted lips.
“Baby,” he whispers as he presses his large hand to your now bare waist, slipping it upwards slowly, “you’re unreal, fuck… you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs as though in disbelief, staring down at you as though you are something that came straight out of his imagination. He grabs your boob roughly, pinching your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, he leans down and wraps his lips against the other, wasting no time to suck on it, making you arch your back against him as you throw your hand into his curls, fingers grazing his scalp as you give it a harsh tug, something that he fucking loves.
“I-I… oh my god!” You whimper as tears begin to pull in your eyes when he presses his thumb to your clit, teasing you. “D-Don’t stop! Don’t stop, Eddie! That feels so good!” You nearly scream as he starts moving his fingers faster than before, fucking them in and out of you roughly. You are clenching around him, digging your heel into his ass as you move along to his thrusts.
He looks up at you, loving the sight of you coming undone before him, it’s the prettiest sight to him. He can’t wait to watch you fall apart beneath him when he actually fucks you. He licks around your nipple, adding more pleasure to your body.
“Eddie!” You writhe beneath him, blinking the tears away as you look down at him. Your stomach tenses up, burning as the pleasure builds up more and more, almost becoming unbearable, everything inside of you is lit on fire, absolutely every part of you. Your toes curl, your knuckles turn white from how rough you are grabbing at his curls, the sounds that fall from your mouth are almost not recognizable, sounding too pornographic but you have never felt anything like this before, especially not from just being finger fucked.
Eddie pushes himself back up, straightening his back, he slides his hand further up your chest, passing your collarbones and settling around your throat, he tests the waters at first, needing you to be okay with this – he watches the way your eyes darken at this, lips parting as you push yourself up on your elbows, you bring your hand up to his wrist, wrapping your fingers tightly around it, you press it harder against your throat, asking him to choke you.
Eddie laughs darkly, lips curling into a satisfied grin, he shakes his head at you, “of course you’re into that shit. You’re a naughty girl aren’t you?”
It takes you a moment to answer his question because the view before you is just a little too distracting. Eddie hovers over you with one hand between your thighs, knuckle deep buried inside of you while his other hand is now wrapped around your throat, rings on, veins popping out of his tattooed forearm, dark curls falling in front of his face as he looks down at you like he wants to devour you but make love to you at the same time.
God, he is beautiful.
Your eyes move down his body, the wet patch on his sweatpants, the bulge making you drool, making you want to drop to your knees for him, worship him, choke on him, suck the soul out of him. You can’t help yourself, moving your hand down his stomach, you grab his dick, wiping the smirk off his face completely as he moans loudly.
“F-Fuck, sweetheart.”
You palm him through his sweats, teasing him the way he teased you, though Eddie is less patient than you are. His hips stutter, a whimper falls off his lips so prettily and you almost tease him for it but he curls his fingers so deeply inside of you, presses his thumb against your clit so strongly that your vision blurs for a second.
“Eddie… Eddie!” You say his name twice, pressing your hand stronger against him, you hook your fingers around the band of his pants.
“D-Don’t tease me or else I’ll cum right this second,” he growls as his cheeks start burning at his words.
“Don’t do that,” you warn as you push his pants down just enough, his dick slaps against his stomach, precum leaking out and rolling down his length, his tip an angry red, thick veins so prominent. Your eyes widen and your mouth waters at the sight of him, of his size, his length.
Eddie looks down at you with burning cheeks and begging eyes, he feels the way you clench around his fingers, feels how you soak his digits.
You look at him intensely, watching him fall apart at nothing but the touch of your hand, his eyelashes flutter, a content sigh falling from his lips when you wrap your fingers around his length, “your cock is so pretty, Eds,” you purr, jerking him off slowly, you tease him a little, “I want to choke on it.”
His hips stutter, cock twitching in your hand as he whimpers at your words, “fuck… you can’t just say that to me.”
You pull your hand away from him, holding it up to him, “spit.”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, eyes darkening further but he complies, right away, he spits into your hand and watches the way you bring it back down to his dick, wrapping your fingers around him again, you grip him just perfectly, jerking him off in a way that he only ever dreamed off.
“You’re gonna kill me,” he moans, clenching his jaw in concentration, his eyes moving back and forth between your glistening pussy and your hand getting him off. “I-I won’t last long,” he warns you, wanting to get lost in the pleasure, but even more so, he wants to feel you wrapped around him.
With your free hand, you tug at his wrist, needing to feel his lips on yours again and without wasting a second, he slams his mouth against yours, kissing you roughly as he takes full control, parting your lips with his tongue, he moans into your mouth when you clench around his fingers again.
The room is now filled with heavy moans, no longer coming from the TV but from you and him, desperation so clear in both your voices, lips smacking against one another so needily and the alcohol, the weed in your systems only makes it all a tad bit more intense.
As much as Eddie is enjoying the feeling of your hand wrapped around him, he has to stop you or else he will cum before getting what he actually wants.
“Sweetheart,” he murmurs against you, lips twitching when you already whine in protest, “baby, I-I fuck… I need you stop or else I’ll cum too fucking soon.”
You pull away begrudgingly, wanting to pout at him but he quickly distracts you by speeding up his fingers inside of you. Letting go of your throat, he brings his now free hand down to your clit, wasting no second to play with your sensitive nub while he curls and slams his fingers in and out of you.
A gasp falls from your lips as he repeatedly brushes your sweet spot, the one that allows you to see stars. A single tear slips down your cheek, one that he instantly kisses away. You want to look at him, you want to watch your best friend but the pleasure becomes too much and you can’t help but shut your eyes tightly. Your stomach burns in a way that has you whimpering and when you try to close your legs to relieve that pleasurable pain, he grabs your knee and stops you.
“I can feel you clenching around my fingers, baby,” he murmurs hotly against your lips, “I know you want to cum, so let go for me,” he whispers, “let go.” One more swipe against your clit, one last thrust, one more kiss to your neck and you come undone for your Eddie, leaking around his fingers as your body trembles beneath his.
“Oh my god,” you whisper.
He slows down his movements, looking down at your legs to see them shaking, just from this. He lets you ride out your orgasm, giving you a moment to catch your breath. He kisses your face, your cheeks, your forehead, your jawline and your lips. And then, he pulls his fingers out of you, his mouth waters at the sight of your slick, wasting no time to bring his digits up to his lips, he dips them on his tongue, closing his eyes at your taste, he moans loudly.
You open your eyes at the sound, stunned, you stare at him in hunger and lust, watching the way he laps at his fingers that were inside of you just seconds ago. His eyes are closed and he looks content. If you hadn’t been so feral already, you definitely would have been by now.
“You’re even sweeter than I thought,” he mewls after releasing his fingers with a pop, opening his eyes to look down at you with a smirk. “I can’t wait to take my time and eat your pussy.”
You grab him by the chain around his neck, tugging at it harshly, you’re surprised it doesn’t break by the force, you pull him back down against you and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue.
Eddie smiles against your lips, loving the way you moan at your own taste. He feels your hands sliding down his back, tugging at his shirt, demanding him to take it off and he does so instantly, only breaking the kiss for a second so he can tear it off his skin before his lips are back on yours, his pants are next to go as you push them down further, with your help he kicks them off, not caring where they land.
He hooks his finger around your ruined panties, he begins to tug at them and you push your hips up so he can take them off, dragging them down your legs, he throws them to the ground beside his clothes before you both pull away from the kiss to take off the shirt that is still bunched up over your chest.
“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs, looking at you in awe and then, his lips return to you and he places his elbows on either side of your head, pressing his chest against yours as you wrap your legs around his waist, tugging him closer and closer until nothing separates you any longer, until he feels your heat against his aching dick and he is so close, so close to getting what he wanted, until he remembers.
“Fuck,” he curses in annoyance, clenching his jaw already as he breaks the kiss, “wait…” But you don’t listen, cupping his cheeks, you make it even harder for him when you keep kissing him, pleading for more.
Frustration bubbles up inside of him and he almost wants to cry.
“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, shakily. “Wait, wait, wait…”
Finally, you pull away, eyes filled with curiosity, “what?”
“I don’t–” he cuts himself off, rolling his eyes as he clenches his fists and closes his eyes for a moment, “I don’t have a condom,” he says through gritted teeth, feeling dejected but then he feels you pull him closer again, cupping the back of his neck, you press your lips back against his.
“It’s okay, I’m on birth control and I’m clean,” you whisper, pressing your heel against his bum, “I waited too long for this, so don’t stop… please, Eddie.”
A growl threatens to spill from his lips, the feeling of frustration is suddenly replaced by something else, not only the need he had felt for so long but something else, something much stronger, something that has him fighting his inner demons.
He opens his eyes, staring at you as though you had gone crazy.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me, sweets?”
You giggle so cutely at that, in a way that makes him want to pound you into this couch until you are nothing but a screaming mess.
“I have an idea,” you admit smugly, batting your eyelashes at him as your eyes flicker back and forth between his tattoos and his lips, hand already moving down his stomach, fingers reaching for him, you bite your lip as you look into his eyes, he is staring at you so intensely that it makes you blush. You wrap your fingers around his length again, mewling when you guide him through your wet folds, teasing both you and himself.
Eddie grips the pillow beneath your head, cursing at the feeling. You can tell that he is trying to control himself, trying to keep his composure but he is losing it quickly when he feels your heat, your wetness.
With your free hand, you hold onto his bicep, looking up at him with begging eyes, “please, fuck me, Eddie,” you whisper as you tilt your head up to kiss his lips, “show me how bad you want me, don’t hold back… please–”
With a growl, he lets your words die on your tongue, replacing your hand with his own, he guides himself to your entrance, nudging it with the leaking tip of his cock, he presses his forehead and his lips to yours as he thrusts inside of you, torturously, splitting you open around his length.
His heart could burst for feeling you so close, so intimately, his love for you burning stronger than ever, the immortal flame getting bigger and bigger, his body feels on fire, his soul feels at home and now he knows you feel the same, when you hold him close and you kiss him so passionately, tightening your legs around his waist in order to feel him closer, whimpering into him in such a needy way while you keep grabbing at him like he isn’t close enough despite being pressed against you, he knows you feel the same, in every way.
He pushes into you deeper and deeper, scrunching his eyebrows in concentration as he feels you fully, working you open with nothing between you. He feels your warmth, feels your heat around him, your wetness dripping down onto the couch beneath you as fills you up completely. He never felt anything like this before, he never thought he would but god, he is already addicted, he had always been to you but now even worse, he will never be the same again, he will come back to Hawkins a changed man.
“Fucking hell, darling,” he growls against your lips as he stills inside of you, giving you a moment to adjust to his size and himself a moment to concentrate so he doesn’t ruin this by coming too soon, though the thought of filling you up with his seed drives everything in him crazy, he wants it, craves it so bad. “You feel so… so perfect.”
You’re wailing, squirming beneath him, already looking down, wanting to see your bodies connected as sensitive whimpers escape your mouth.
“Y-You’re so big, Eddie,” you say, eyes blurred with tears, words leaving your mouth breathlessly, “hurts so good.”
Your words don’t exactly do him a favor, especially when he opens his eyes and he looks down at you, watching the way your chest rises up and down heavily, the way you look down between your legs in desperation before your big eyes look up at him, glassy. Your lips are so puffy from all the kissing, your forehead glistening with sweat, your cheeks flushed.
Your walls flutter around him, making it harder and harder for him.
Eddie grabs your chin, “you’re so fucking gorgeous, baby, so fucking sweet and good for me but you’re driving me crazy, right now.”
“Fuck me,” you whimper, pouting at him as you hold his bicep harder, “please, fuck me, Eddie. I need it, I need you so bad– ah!” You scream out when he pulls out and slams back inside of you again.
“Shh, I got you, I got you, baby,” he shushes your words, “can’t believe you are so desperate for my cock.”
Your nails dig into his skin, your free hand gets lost in his hair, tugging at his curls as you roll your hips against his, going crazy at the feeling of him inside of you.
“Please, please, please!”
Eddie groans at your pleading, at the obvious desperation, at the need that you feel for him, and only him. His left knee digs into the soft cushions on the couch and he places his right foot against the floor, watching your face intently as he starts rolling his hips, making you gasp out loudly.
“Oh my–” He pants, eyes rolling back as your name falls from his lips.
“You… I…” You stutter, unable to find the right words, to even come up with anything as you lose yourself in this feeling. Your mouth waters and so do your eyes, his chain dangles before your face as he thrusts into you, faster and faster, deeper and rougher. You can’t help but clench around him, he fills you up so perfectly, his tip brushes against that one spot so rightly.
You throw your arms around him as he cups the top of your head, holding eye contact with you as he rolls his hips harder.
“I’m so fucking obsessed with you, do you even know that?” He kisses your lips, smacking them loudly against yours.
“Mmm, I’m obsessed with you too, baby,” you whimper as you meet his thrusts, rolling your hips as well.
“I never thought I’d get to have this, to have you.”
You only hold onto him tighter in response, leaning into his neck, you brush your nose against it and latch your lips onto his neck, pecking along until you find that one spot that makes him whine, you start sucking, marking him up the way he did to you, not knowing just how feral that makes him.
To wear your marks on his skin, to be claimed as yours makes his heart burst but it awakens something in him, because suddenly, he feels the need to pound you into this couch and he does so, he snaps his hips into yours, thrusting roughly.
“Eddie!” You scream out in a choked sob, digging your nails into his skin as you cling to his body.
“You feel so fucking good,” he moans loudly, not bothering to hide just how desperate you make him feel. He cups the back of your neck and pulls you back down, wanting and needing to see your face, he wastes no second before his lips are back on yours and his hips strike roughly into you, cock slamming in and out of you, the squelching sounds of your pussy filling the room, along with your moans and the slapping sounds as he fucks you.
Neither of you want to pull away from the kiss, no matter how sloppy it gets, you don’t want to break the kiss and neither does he, not even when you grow breathless. You cling to each like you never did before, welcoming the pleasure that becomes almost too much. There is soreness in your thighs, burning in your lower back and an overwhelming sensation inside of you, an itch that only he can mend.
And Eddie, he feels as though he is losing his mind, getting to feel this, to feel you, to kiss you and swallow your moans as your dripping walls cling to his cock, twitching around him and begging to be filled. Your arms and legs are so tight around him, you beneath him like he had only seen you in his dreams and in his imagination, you’re shaking, whining and trembling and you are close, he can feel it by the way you are getting tighter and tighter after each of his thrusts.
Reaching down, he hooks his forearm around the back of your knee and he brings it up, pushing it higher until he can thrust into you from a different angle, one that makes you scream out with a high pitched moan and the neediest look he had ever seen on your face.
“Fuck… just like that, baby, scream for me,” he rasps out.
“Y-You’re so good, fuck me… Eds! Your cock feels so nice, please don’t stop, don’t ever stop!” You sputter, not knowing just how those words make him feel.
You don’t know where to look, his pretty face, how he looks as he fucks you like you only ever dreamed of, how pretty his face is when he moans your name so sexily or how his glistening cock pounds in and out of you.
And Eddie struggles just the same, though he settles on watching your beautiful face, wanting to see you fall apart more and more.
And though you don’t want this moment to end, and neither does he, you both drag it out for as long as you can, not caring about anything anymore, not caring about the mess you are making on the couch. You are both sweaty, you are leaking down onto the cushions and Eddie is sure that he ripped a hole into the pillow beneath you earlier from how roughly he held it.
A strangled whine leaves your lips and he knows you can’t hold on any longer, so he brings his hand down your stomach, pressing his fingers against your clit, causing you to jerk and whimper against him.
“You’re close, baby, I can feel it,” he whispers against your neck, not slowing down his movements in the slightest, if anything, he starts fucking you even deeper, making you scream louder now as your fingernails rip through his skin from how hard you’re grabbing him and he welcome that pleasuring burn, “cum around my cock, do it for me, sweetheart. I know you want to be my good girl.”
With another loud whine, you finally let go of him, arching your back and shutting your eyes tightly, you cum around your best friend's cock, for the first but definitely not the last time. You tighten around him so strongly that his hips stutter and his knees almost buckle, heat spreads through his skin and his stomach tightens as his own body screams for release.
He can’t wait any longer either and panic ripples through him when you hold him tighter than before, locking him in as you refuse to let go. It makes his heart flutter and it does make him want to release but–
“I need to pull out, sweetheart,” he says shakily, knowing all too well that he doesn’t actually want it and apparently, you don’t either because you start shaking your head at him, opening your needy eyes.
“No, no, don’t make a mess– cum inside of me, please!”
His hips stutter once more, his dick twitches achingly inside of you, “you can’t just fucking say that–” he whimpers, unable to finish the sentence, one more thrust and he spills inside of you, coating your walls with his seed as your name falls from his lips before he smashes his lips to yours for the hundredth time tonight, swallowing your cry.
Tears of pleasure run down your cheeks, your leg starts slipping from his waist and his thrusts slow down, though his grip doesn’t loosen on you, he continues to hold you close, the way you do as well as you grab his shoulder and his bicep, squeezing him tightly while your tongue clashes against his.
Your walls spasm and contract around his length, sending shockwaves and an unbearable amount of pleasure through his sensitive body.
Slowly, he removes his hand from between your legs, sliding it up your hot body until he is cupping your cheek again, he makes you both whimper when he pulls his softening cock out of you.
Your name rolls off his tongue when you both pull away from the kiss, he says it like it’s a blessing, like a prayer. Your eyes make contact again and you stare at each other for a moment, lovingly, adoringly, and then, you both smile and giggle and press your lips back against each other, pecking one another again and again.
“My Eddie,” you whisper as you admire the marks you left on him.
“Fuck,” he whispers when he realizes that this isn’t just a moment, that this isn’t just for now, for tonight, that you waited for it just like he has. He looks down at you, brushing away and tucking your hair behind your ear as he caresses your cheek, his heart soaring in his chest. “I can’t believe this happened.”
You giggle at him, “I’m glad it happened.”
“Yeah?” He grins lazily, eyes dropping to your chest as he leans down and presses his lips to your jaw, “I’m fucking on top of the world right now.”
You brush your fingers through his curls, giggling yet again.
“You’re a dork.”
“Yeah, but I’m your dork, right?” He asks with a hopeful glint in his eyes, one that questions more than just this. He wants to be yours, he wants it so badly.
You nod happily, eyes flashing with happiness.
“Mhmm, you’re mine, all mine.”
“Fuck,” he whispers as he feels his sensitive dick twitching at your words, heart bursting inside of him, “I’m yours, all yours.”
You tug him closer and closer, breathing against his lips as you eye him hungrily again, you feel him leaking out of you and it only makes your thighs burn again, “and I’m yours.”
“Yeah, you are,” he rasps as his fingers dip inside of you, he groans at the feeling of his cum leaking out of you, he pushes it back into you with a moan, “you’re mine, sweetheart.”
“Mmm, Eddie,” you mewl, pushing your hips up and chasing for more already.
“You want more?”
You nod, “yes… more, please!”
Not needing to be told twice, he slowly pushes his fingers and his cum back into you, making you both moan at that.
“You know what, I'm glad we did this today,” Eddie mumbles against your lips.
“Yeah?” You moan, arching your back in pleasure when he curls his fingers inside of you.
“Mhmm, that means I get to fuck you over and over and over for the whole weekend,” he smirks before he slams his lips against yours again, kissing you passionately and sensually while his fingers move and in out of you, creating a mess with his cum leaking out of you and your own wetness sticking to your thighs and his.
You both fill the room with filthy noises, needy and desperately you touch each other, grabbing and pulling at each others hair as the night goes on, continuing to mark each other up, to taste one another, to fuck like animals in heat, the movie long forgotten as his tongue laps at your pussy when he is kneeled on the ground with your legs dangling of his shoulders and your fingers pull at his hair roughly.
This night never ends, the pleasure continuing until the early morning hours, until you can no longer take it, until you both get too sensitive, until you’re both nothing but a panting, sweaty mess and even then, you still kiss and cling to one another.
The night was filled with desperation, with pent up emotions, with filthiness yet with love and adoration, and this night has changed you both forever, for good.
-
“So… What you’re telling me is–…” Steve begins, arms crossed over his chest, jaw clenched as he stands before you and Eddie with a stern look on his face. You are both on his couch, looking up at him like scolded children. “You need to buy me a new… bed?”
You are blushing furiously, embarrassment written all over your face. You glare at Robin who is standing in the corner, sipping on her soda with an amused look on her face.
“Uh… yeah.”
You know how badly Eddie wants to laugh, he is smug, you can see it on his face but he stays quiet, for a second at least.
“And a new arm chair?” Steve mumbles, looking between you both.
“Yeah.” Eddie snorts to which you elbow him, shushing him.
“Don’t forget the flower vase,” Robin snickers.
Steve throws his hands up, “and a fucking flower vase, thanks Robin!”
You put your finger up and straighten your back, “actually, the flower vase fell by itself–”
“Because you were fucking on top of the table!” Steve retorts to which your boyfriend chuckles in satisfaction, not being embarrassed by anything in the slightest.
You turn to look at him, he only smirks at you and shrugs, holding your thigh tighter than before.
“I’d buy a new couch too–”
“Eddie!”
Robin moves closer and eyes you both, eyeing the matching marks on your necks.
“I hope you used protection, at least.”
Steve raises his eyebrows, looking at you both expectedly, your flustered face gives you away completely as you sink deeper into the couch, wanting nothing more than to bury your face in Eddie’s neck.
“Great, now I might be a fucking uncle.”
“Godfather,” Eddie corrects him, making you giggle.
“Go to hell,” Steve shakes his head, though he can’t hide the look on his face and how delighted he is to hear that he would be considered a godfather if it were to happen. And despite the clear distaste on his face after hearing what you did at his cabin, he can’t help but feel happy for you both.
Robin looks down with a smile on her face when Eddie wraps his arm around you and kisses your cheek softly and Steve’s eyes soften as well.
He sighs and rolls his eyes as he finally takes a seat, he reaches for his beer and takes a sip.
“I’m happy my plan worked but you both will go back, replace the furniture and clean everything up before I lose my shit and I kill you before my parents kill me.”
You nod at him with wide eyes, while Eddie furrows his eyebrows, “clean up? Oh, we did clean up and besides, we didn’t waste a single drop.”
“Eddie,” you whine as you bury your face in your hands while Robin groans in disgust.
Steve only sighs but his lips twitch slightly, curling into a smirk as he nods at Eddie.
“At least I know your children aren’t running around my cabin.”
You give Eddie a warning glance but he is already smirking at you, gripping your thigh harder, slipping under your skirt.
“They’re somewhere else.”
“Oh, gross!” Robin coughs and turns away with a frown on her face.
“Eddie!” You whine and slap his chest to which he pulls you closer and kisses your cheek, chuckling in amusement.
Steve shakes his head, sighing.
“I’m never inviting you both to that summer house ever again.”
#my writing ♡#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson smut#stranger things angst#stranger things smut
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ceo!sukuna x bubbly!barista!reader, i fear it's my new obsession. banner credits to @/uzmacchiato. both inspired by, and dedicated to @salsakiyoomi! hope you like it, pretty <33
ceo!sukuna, a man whose resting face could curdle milk, hates physical touch. like, he'd rather wrestle a rabid badger than endure a friendly pat on the back.
his employees? mere rodents scurrying around his corporate cheese grater, their sole purpose to make his existence slightly less agonizing.
of course, they mostly failed at that. they were less "competent assistants" and more "walking disasters with access to staplers." his day was basically a high-stakes game of "clean up the employee-induced apocalypse," and he was running out of patience, and more importantly, employees.
ex-employees, he'd mentally correct, adding them to his ever-growing blacklist. he'd personally ensure they'd be lucky to get a job at a clown college.
and yet, despite this raging misanthropy and deep-seated aversion to human contact, he ends up craving your arms. the irony was thicker than his expense reports.
"'kuna?" you ask, peering up from your couch fort. "how was your day?"
a grumble is his reply. you've deciphered his grumbles into a complex language, and this one translates to "hell on earth."
you open your arms, and he promptly transforms into a sentient, grumpy weighted blanket, flopping onto you with the grace of a falling grand piano.
you wheeze, but you're used to it. he’s basically a cat, except instead of knocking things off tables, he knocks the air out of your lungs.
"don't even get me started," he mutters, his voice muffled by your chest. he sounds like a toddler who just lost his favorite pacifier. "do you know how many people i had to terminate today?"
"fired, you mean? sukuna, you mean fired, right?" you’re picturing a corporate bloodbath, and it’s not a pretty image. he waves a dismissive hand, which, due to his position on top of you, almost knocks your phone out of your hand.
"yeah, yeah. whatever. they were basically performance art pieces of incompetence."
"okay, but, like, how many?"
"enough." he then changes the subject. "what about you, flower? how was the café?"
your mood instantly does a 180. "oh! it was great! nice and slow. but this one guy came in, all grumpy about his coffee. said he could make it better."
"he did?" sukuna raises an eyebrow, a feat considering he's basically face-planting into your chest. "what happened?"
"told him to go do it, then," you say, grinning. "and then kicked him out."
"that's my girl," he says, a rare flicker of approval in his eyes. "did you throw his coffee at him first?"
"i considered it, but i didn't want to waste good coffee."
he's impressed, that much he'll admit. he shifts, crushing you further. "sukuna!"
"i've been away from my girl all day," he grumbles, nuzzling into your neck. "let me have this."
for a man who supposedly treated physical contact like it was kryptonite, he sure seemed to enjoy clinging to you. maybe he just needed a you-shaped stress ball, you think. and maybe, just maybe, he was secretly a giant softie, hidden under layers of corporate armor and general grumpiness.
or maybe he just liked your couch. either way, you were trapped, and honestly, you weren't complaining. too much.
general taglist: @jeonwiixard. (i didn't forget this time 👩❤️👩)
#i know fam#its a wittle cheesy#BUT I NEED CHEESY#i need mind numbingly#tooth rottingly#ulcer inducing#fluff#jjk#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryomen x y/n#ryomen x reader#ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x reader
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I’m not sensitive!
Pairings include: Xavier x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Sylus x Reader | Caleb x Reader
Warning, this post includes: breast play, nipple play, breast kissing, nipple kissing / licking / and biting
A/N: as a girlie that was convinced her boobs we’re not sensitive, I present you this lmao. Of course, it is totally normal for your breasts to not be sensitive and for you to not be into breast play!!!! I am just writing based on my own experiences, and even then, it can be a 50/50 for me lol. Bigger chest = less sensitivity from what I've heard, but it's different for everyone! Much love!!
Moving Banners from @cafekitsune | LaDs men banner by me!

Xavier
A lazy weekend afternoon, comfy clothes, lots of snacks, and some cheesy horror movies playing on Xavier's TV screen. You were more engulfed in each other than anything else, the conversation flowing naturally as you lounged against the armrest of his couch.
"I'm serious, they're not sensitive." Your feet rest on his lap, his long fingers gently stroking up and down the skin of your calf. "I highly doubt it." Xavier countered with ease, blue eyes sparkling as a smirk curled his lips. "I just think you haven't met the right person."
Some way, somehow, the conversation had turned towards intimacy. What parts of you were sensitive, what parts weren't, the whole nine. Tension had been growing, but neither of you were willing to bite just yet. Even as you fought the urge to squeeze your thighs.
"The right person, huh? You're saying you can prove me wrong?"
You boldly proclaimed your breasts were not sensitive, your nipples not all that appealing to yourself when you had time alone. You didn't really touch them, like ever, even when masturbating.
"I believe I can give it my best shot..." Xavier started, using one finger to trail up towards your knee. "... that way, we can be positive that it's not... user error." He grins, something boyish and full of mischief and dammit you're a goner. "Well, you have my permission, Xavi."
Just like that, he's tugging your legs as he lunges. Crushing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. The hand that had been playing with your ankles and calves now splayed over your exposed thigh. Sneaking under your lounge shorts and reaching up towards your underwear.
His other hand snuck under your hoodie - one you had stolen from him - and didn't stop until he cupped one bare breast. "No bra?" a murmur against your lips, he didn't give you a chance to answer before his tongue was slipping into your mouth.
You arched into his touch, the warmth of his hand against your skin making your lips tremble as you tried to keep up with Xavier's needy kisses. He squeezes, not hard enough to hurt but enough to elicit a gasp, a triumphant smirk already curling his lips.
"See... you needed the right person." Saliva keeps you connected as he pulls away, blue irises nearly devoured by his dilated pupils. "The right person with the best touch..." His thumb and pointer finger find your nipple, squeezing it a few times experimentally.
A gasp flees you, body jerking away from the shock of pleasure that zapped up your spine. You'd tried this before, when you had been so convinced that playing with a woman's chest was a key part of her arousal, and you had been so disappointed when nothing really... happened.
Now, Xavier was doing all the things you had tried and quickly given up on, and he was getting the reactions you craved. "Xavier h-how... oh!" You're panting as he rolls the bud between his fingers, adding more stimulation by sucking along your jaw. "You just needed the right person to prove you wrong." it's muffled against your skin, a sigh of annoyance leaving him a second later.
"Take this off." All at once, he leaves you. Just long enough to yank the hoodie up and over your head.
“Let’s try this…” Xavier wasted no time, not bothering to tease you by lingering his kisses. The cool air of his apartment caused your nipples to harden, and Xavier was quick to pull one of the buds into his awaiting mouth.
Your head fell back, hands shooting to grab his head as a feeble cry of his name fled your lips. Heat pooled deep in your belly, leaking slowly and ruining your underwear. You didn’t think it was possible for your breasts to feel this way, never mind for it to cause such a reaction to the rest of you.
“X-Xavier, fuck me, please.”
“Someone’s eager.” He lets go of your nipple with a slick pop, a cocky grin now sneaking up his lips. “I’ve barely got to have my fun, you need to be patient Ms. I’m not sensitive.” You want to punch him and kiss him all at once.

Rafayel
A study of anatomy, sketching various bodies in various shapes, colors, and sizes. You couldn't even pinpoint how or when the conversation switched to personal weak spots, but... "What about your chest? Most people list their chest as a sensitive spot."
"Not me." You pout a bit, hands coming up to cup your chest before meeting Rafayel's eyes. "Maybe I'm just broken."
Your chest had never been all that sensitive from what you could tell. You'd tried a handful of times to make it feel as good as it looks, books, movies, and even porn videos put so much focus on stimulating a woman's breast that you assumed it had to feel good.
And when it fell flat? You had concluded your breasts were simply less sensitive than others. "You're certainly not broken." Rafayel sets his sketchpad down, pushing up from his seat on the floor to stalk towards where you had been lounging on his bed.
"Your body is way more responsive to someone else's touch opposed to your own." You feel your eyebrows raise, glancing between where he towered above you and where his hand was heading. "Can I show you? Or perhaps, prove my theory?" Your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip, nodding a little to fast for your liking.
Rafayel sits himself down on the edge of his bed, a hand sliding over the thin material of your tank top. "You get too lost in your own head, of course, you won't be able to focus on how good it can feel." And your breathing stutters as his hand gingerly cups your right breast.
"Just relax, I've got you." As Rafayel speaks, he gently kneads the pliant flesh, silently noting that your nipples harden under his touch. "I-I just see these girls that can't go braless because their nipples are so sensitive and it just doesn't ma-oh!" Rafayel cuts you off by using his pointer and middle finger to squish the prominent bud.
"Ah-ah, what did I say about relaxing? Just enjoy..." Heat is starting to seep into your cheeks, your hand coming up instinctively to clutch Rafayel's wrist as he toys with your breast.
"They're so pretty, can I lift this up?" he's using his free hand to tug at the elastic material of your tank top, smirking when you nod your approval. "Atta girl, let me see these beauties...shit." His cheeks are turning pink, pupils dilating wide as he uses his other hand to cup your neglected left breast. "Fuck, they're so perfect."
You want to open your mouth and retaliate, but you think they are far from perfect. But you swallow it, knowing better than to dare contradict him when it comes to statements about your beauty. "And so responsive, see what happens when you listen to me?"
He seals the deal with a pinch, tugging both of your perked nipples between his thumb and pointer fingers before leaning down to kiss your sternum. "So damn beautiful." Another kiss, one closer to your right breast. "And so not broken, don't ever say that again."
This time, the kiss lands on your nipple, and you're mewling, cheeks burning hot as you clutch his wrist just a little tighter. Rafayel doesn't pull away this time, instead he removes his hand completely so he can suck the now-sensitive bud between his lips.
You're not sure how long he stays on you like that, but you know your panties are drenched and your nipple is swollen by the time Rafayel finally eases up. "Can I?" he swallows, chest heaving as he looks at your chest. He needs to mark them first and then sketch them.
"Can I fuck these after I show you how sensitive they can be?"

Zayne
You loved watching him type his reports, finding his meticulous typing to be both adorable and hot. Maybe it was just because you were so deeply in love with him, but dammit you could watch Zayne work all day. So, when he dragged over a human anatomy chart while typing on a patient file, you felt the need to pop the question.
"Zayne?" You sounded hesitant uttering it, so naturally, Zayne's attention was immediately focused on you. "Is something wrong?" Immediately, you wanted to swallow your words. "I-Uh, no, but I just kinda... had a question." You feel like you're going to die.
"Go on." He relaxed a bit, a telling sign that he could see your anxiety and wanted you to feel comfortable. "Ah, well." You look away, swallowing the lump in your throat before trying again. "I was just wondering if it was normal for... for breasts to not be sensitive."
The surgeon's eyebrow twitches upwards at that, and now you really want to melt into the chair you had been lounging in.
"Well, medically speaking, yes. It depends on the person. Sometimes chest size factors into sensitivity; sometimes it really doesn't. But, overall, it's pretty normal and fairly common...why?" Concluding his answer, Zayne seemed to really process what you were asking.
You felt a tad relieved upon hearing that it wasn't a one-in-a-million chance that you deemed your chest to be lacking sensitivity. "Oh, well, my breasts aren't all that sensitive, I kind of worried it wasn't normal, you know?" Zayne nodded, ears turning a shade of red. "Many forms of media have set unrealistic expectations."
"Tell me about it. I really felt self-conscious." You were ready to resume your lounging, but Zayne was still eyeing you.
"Would you like me to perform an exam?"
You swallow, eyes widening in surprise, but your head is moving faster. A nod escapes you before you can stop it, clearing your throat, you add, "That would be great, actually. I'd appreciate it."
Somehow, you're shirtless and braless on Zayne's exam table. The cool air of his office makes your nipples pebble. "They look perfect." He states it plainly, leaving no room for debate, even as your cheeks begin to burn. With skilled hands, the surgeon cups both of your bare breasts in his hands, kneading and squeezing meticulously.
The sensation sends a shrill of arousal straight to your tummy, and you find yourself gripping the edge of the exam table. "It's also quite common for your brain to pick a side. If you squeeze your own breast, your brain may focus more on what your hand is feeling rather than your chest." He squeezes them both to send the point home.
"And..." Zayne's head lowers, a gentle kiss placed on the top of each breast before he squeezes your nipples. "... different forms of stimulation can really shake things up."
In the blink of an eye, your back is against the cool leather of his exam table. The same table is now creaking as Zayne climbs up on it with you. "Z-zayne, what are you-" But his mouth descends on your breasts again, and suddenly all words die on your tongue.
His nose drags along your skin, inhaling your scent before suckling on one of your nipples. His hand comes up to toy with your other breast, determined to not let it go neglected during his exam.
"Some women find breast stimulation to be more effective when..." he swallows, angling himself so his free hand can slide down your stomach and towards the waistband of your pants. "...vaginal stimulation is provided at the same time."

Sylus
"Your chest is pretty sensitive, huh, Sy?" Your fingers dance lazily across his pecs, watching his expression for any signs. Sure enough, his brows pinch together briefly before relaxing again. "I guess you could say that." A gentle murmur, one that is full of exhaustion despite his eyes scanning over the pages of a book.
You were both supposed to be sleeping, but some days this was the only time you two could really spend time together. Snuggled into the crook of his arm, you found your brain wandering.
"Why are you asking, anyway?" his finger marks the spot he left off on, carmine eyes sliding to look down at where you peered up at him. "I just wish my chest was as sensitive as yours." You said it almost dreamily, as if you didn't realize what that statement did to him.
"Your breasts aren't sensitive?" Sylus countered, the book in his hand being tossed onto the nightstand so he could focus everything on you. "No, not really. I've tried but... nothing really works. I don't get how girls get so worked up when their breasts are touched."
He seemed to think it over for a moment, a small smirk curling his lips. "Do you care if I try something before you come to such a conclusion?" He turns towards you, his free hand resting on your shoulder and pushing you to your back. “You know what? Sure, go ahead. I doubt the outcome will change what I said.”
A little bit of defiance, sure. But Sylus caught the hint of sadness too. Now, he was even more determined.
"Don't be so quick..." His hand cups your breast through the silk of your nightgown, eliciting a small gasp. "...to doubt me, kitten." He's warm, hands that are honed to kill are now gentle as they massage your breast tenderly. "Just relax, let me take care of you."
Your lips are wobbling as he tugs the silky material down, letting both of your breasts spill out for his viewing pleasure. "If it doesn't work, if this doesn't feel good..." he pushed upwards, hovering above you slightly so he could lower his head and begin kissing your chest. "...I'll make it up to you in a way I know you love."
He tugs a nipple into his mouth, and you're arching off the mattress, the sudden sensation making your eyes water. The idea of not being sensitive has simply given Sylus the green light to be rougher.
"Sylus!" Your fingers curl into his hair, tugging as he bites down on the pebbled bud. His tongue lathers your nipple a moment later, soothing any pain from his bite. He lets go a second later, saliva connecting him to your breast even with the new distance.
"Let me..." he's tugging at your nightgown again, instead of your neckline, he's shoving the bottom hem up towards your stomach. "...fuck you while I do this. Nothing but the best, right?" Fuck, your head was spinning, legs parting as you welcomed his offer.
"I'll make you feel so good, promise." Sylus' lips are back on your breasts, kneading and sucking as he fishes his cock out with his free hand. "Sylus, I need you, now." dammit, maybe he was right. Your mind was going fuzzy from the attention he was giving you.
"I know, and you have me. Just..." he's nudging your entrance, sending you into a spiral as he bites down on your nipple and pushes himself inside. A shrill cry leaves your lips, hands gripping his biceps in a feeble attempt to remain grounded.
"Stick with me, Kitten. We've got a long night ahead, I need to be thorough with my research."

Caleb
You were lying on Caleb's bed, phone held high as you scrolled mindlessly. Caleb lies beside you, reading through some pilot magazine you had picked up at the convenience store earlier. A video on your feed has your mind going, chewing on on your inner cheek as you ponder your question out loud.
"I wonder what it's like to have a sensitive chest?"
"You uh... You asking me that, pip?" Caleb was caught off guard, one eyebrow twitching upwards as he turned his head just enough to look at you. Realizing your mistake, you can't help but laugh out of embarrassment. "More so talking to myself."
"Your chest isn't... sensitive?" Caleb jumps right to the point, suddenly more intrigued with your answer now that the initial surprise has worn off. "No, not really. I mean, I've tried like everything and it just doesn't... do all that much."
"Like doesn't feel good at all? Or just not what you expected?" The magazine is long forgotten, Caleb is rolling onto his side to really study you. "I guess... not as good as I hoped? I just feel like they're not as sensitive as they could be." You attempt to shrug it off, but Caleb doesn't seem to want to let it go.
"Can I... give it a shot, pip?" And suddenly it all clicked into place. You click your phone off, tossing it to the side and sighing. "By all means, Caleb. Have your fun." Like a dog who just got praised, Caleb is quick to get to work. Not bothering with touching you over your shirt. In one motion, he has tugged the clothing up and over your bare chest.
"Let's see..." calloused fingers are running up your stomach, his eyes focused on the way your nipples harden due to the exposed air. "...it's not odd for breasts to lack sensitivity." Even as he speaks, goosebumps erupt over your skin. "But sometimes, you just need the right touch to prove you wrong."
Gingerly, your right breast is cupped in his warm embrace, earning a sharp inhale as you flicker between his hand and face. "And hands aren't always what is needed." His head is descending on your chest before you can process it, a shrill cry of his name leaving your lips as he nips at the fat of your chest.
"Different sensations invoke different responses." A lick to soothe the bruise he had made. His tongue is wet and warm as it trails up to your nipple. "Some prefer ice..." a lick "...some prefer heat or wax" a kiss directly on top of the pebbling bud. "Others like tickling." His nose nuzzles it before pulling back. "And others like pain."
Caleb's teeth sink into your nipple, and your back arches off the mattress. "It's all up to you, whatever you deem best." You're seeing stars, a whimper leaving your lips as you guide his hand over to your neglected breast. "Just make me feel good, please."
"At your service, pip."

#🍒 soul’s rambles 🍒#love and deepspace#l&d#lads smut#love and deepspace headcanons#l&d headcanons#l&d smut#lads#sylus#sylus smut#sylus x reader#caleb#caleb smut#caleb x reader#zayne#zayne smut#zayne x reader#rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel smut#xavier#xavier smut#xavier x reader#sylus headcanons#zayne headcanons#xavier headcanons#rafayel headcanons#caleb headcanons#love and deepspace smut
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How do the LADS men react when they catch you reading smut. 🫣
Hope you like it!! Vote at the end of the chapter for the next LI.
TW: Smut
Part 2 (Caleb)
Part 3 (Sylus)
Part 4 (Zayne)
Part 5 ( Rafayel)

As the train rumbles along the tracks, you sit curled up in your seat, engrossed in the book Tara had lent you. The romance novel started off innocently enough, with witty banter and a slow-burning connection between the leads. But now, as the train was getting closer to the station near your apartment building you found yourself blushing furiously at the explicit scene unfolding on the page.
Tara forgot to mention that one particularly steamy chapter was tucked away amidst the otherwise tame love story. You squirm slightly in your seat, feeling a warmth pool low in your belly as you read the detailed descriptions of the couple's passionate encounter.
You quickly flip the page, trying to cool the sudden flush of heat that crept up your neck as you read on. The words on the page were so graphic, so vulgar compared to the usual romance you enjoyed. But there was something undeniably thrilling about the raw passion described in such vivid detail.
The male lead gripping the female lead hips, pounding into her with deep, powerful thrusts that left her breathless and aching for more. His groans filling the room as he chased his release, determined to fill her to the brim with his seed.
You feel your heart race as you read on, the scene playing out like a dirty movie in your mind. You know you should look away, but you can't. Can't stop reading about the way he uses her body for his pleasure, fucking her raw and hard until he finds his explosive finish.
It was filthy, it was wrong, but a part of you almost wanted to experience it for yourself. To be wanted, needed, craved with such desperate hunger. You squirm in your seat again, thighs clenching together as you feel the telltale ache begining to build between them.
You put the book down and close your eyes taking a deep breath.
"You are a pretty fast reader Y/N, I wasn't able to read the whole page"
You nearly leap out of your skin at the sound of the deep, all-too-familiar voice murmuring so close to your ear. Your heart hammers against your ribs as you turn your head to see Xavier, in your flustered state, you hadn't even registered Xavier's presence beside your seat. Now here he was, looming over you with a knowing smirk playing on his lips.
"I... I was just..." You stutter, feeling the heat in your cheeks deepen at being caught red-handed. The book is face down on your lap, the incriminating page still open beneath your fingertips. You quickly flip it shut, as if that could somehow hide the dirty thoughts still swirling in your head.
"I didn't hear you come in, I thought you were working late today" you say lamely, hoping to change the subject. You take in his appearance, from his disheveled silver hair to the way his dress shirt clings to his broad shoulders. Part of you wonders if he always looked this good after a long day, or if the sight was amplified by the naughty images still seared into your mind.
The train stops, the announcement overhead crackling to life with the familiar stop near your apartment building. Around you, passengers begin to gather their belongings, the sound of chatter and shuffling feet fill the air. You gather your things, shoving the book deep into your bag. You could feel the heat of Xavier's gaze on you as you fumble with the zipper, your cheeks still flushed a telling shade of pink.
"You know..." Xavier murmurs, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. His fingertips linger, grazing the sensitive skin of your jawline making you shiver. "I don't think I've ever seen you read a book quite so...intensely before."
Your eyes widen at his bold words, a fresh wave of embarrassment crashing over you. Did he really know what you'd been reading?
Xavier straightens up, offering his hand to help you out of your seat. As you place your palm in his, he gives it a gentle squeeze, his thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles. "Come on, let's head home"
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
As you step into your apartment, you let out a sigh of relief, feeling the tension in your shoulders begin to ease. Xavier follows close behind, shutting the door and setting down his bag before shrugging off his jacket and tossing it carelessly over the back of a chair.
You busied yourself in the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for dinner and trying to act as natural as possible. You can feel Xavier's eyes on you as you chop vegetables, the sizzle of the pan and the scent of garlic and herbs filling the small apartment.
So, how was your day?" Xavier asks, loosening his tie as he leans against the counter, watching you work. "Anything interesting happen at the office?"
You shrug, focusing on the task at hand. "Not really. Just the usual paperwork and meetings. Nothing out of the ordinary." You glance up at him, taking in the way his shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, the muscles of his forearms flexing slightly as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"What about you?" You ask, hoping to steer the conversation away from your own agitated state.
Xavier's lips quirk into a small smirk. "It was a long day, but worth it in the end." He steps closer to you, reaching around to grab a carrot stick from the cutting board. "Why? Did you miss me today?"
You roll your eyes, but can't help the small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "Don't get cocky," you say, batting his hand away playfully. "I just know how much you love your job, that's all."
You turn back to the stove, stirring the contents of the pan with more vigor than necessary. As you do, you can't shake the memory of the book from your mind, the way the male lead had taken the female so roughly, so passionately... Your stomach flips at the thought, a sudden wave of heat spreading all over your body.
Lost in your naughty thoughts, you don't realize that Xavier moved closer until he was right behind you, his chest pressed to your back, his breath hot against the side of your neck.
"What's on your mind, Y/N?"
You tense at the sudden closeness, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your shirt. You grip the spoon tighter, using the task of stirring the sauce as an excuse to put some distance between you.
"I'm just tired," you lie, hoping your voice sounded more convincing than you feel. "It's been a long day, that's all."
But even as you say it, you know that your racing thoughts have nothing to do with fatigue. The ache between your legs, the flush on your cheeks, the way your heart hammers in your chest at his proximity, it was all thanks to that damn book and the dirty images it had seared into your mind.
You can feel Xavier's eyes on you, studying your profile intently. He is quiet for a moment, his gaze lingering on the delicate curve of your cheek, the way your lower lip caught between your teeth.
Slowly, he reaches around you to grab the wooden spoon, his arm brushing against yours as he does. Your breath hitched in your throat at the contact, your body betraying your true state of mind. You know he can feel the heat radiating off your skin, the way your pulse jumps beneath his touch.
I didn't forget y/n" he whispers "how could I possibly forget the way your cheeks flushed so prettily while you read, the way you squirmed in your seat as if you couldn't wait for me to bend you over it?"
You gasp as the spoon clatters into the pan, the sudden noise jarring you from your daze. Before you can react, Xavier's hands are on your waist, spinning you around to face him. His grip is firm, unyielding, as he pulls you against his chest.
"I think we both know you're not tired," he teases "Not really." His hand slides up your spine, fingers splaying across the back of your neck, tilting your head back to expose the column of your throat. "I think you're wound up tighter than a bowstring, and I think I know exactly why."
"Did you like reading about that? About being fucked raw? About her being filled with his seed until it leaked out of her? Is that what you want from me?"
You cant help but whimper at his words, a fresh flood of arousal crashing over you. You can feel the evidence of his own desire pressing insistently against you, and it makes you ache to feel him inside you, stretching you, claiming you as his own.
"I...I don't know..." you say, even as your body screams yes, please, more. You can feel yourself getting lost in the haze of lust, drowning in the scent and feel and taste of him.
But some small part of you still clings to sanity, still remembers the way he'd caught you reading such a vulgar thing. The shame of it burns hot and bright, even as your body craves his touch like a drug.
"Xavier, we shouldn't..." you protest weakly.
Xavier shuts you up with a kiss, his lips claiming yours in a bruising, demanding press. His tongue delving deep to stroke along yours, swallowing any further protests you might have. You can only cling to him, fingers scrabbling at the fabric of his shirt as he kisses you until you are breathless and dizzy, until the world spins and narrows down to the feel of his lips on yours.
When he finally pulls back, you are panting, your chest heaving against his. Xavier's eyes are dark, nearly black with desire as he drinks in the sight of your flushed cheeks and swollen lips.
"Shouldn't what?" he challenges, smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Shouldn't I want to fuck you until you can't walk straight? He punctuated his words with a roll of his hips, grinding his hard cock against your core. You cry out at the sudden burst of sensation, your head falling back as you arch into him. "Shouldn't I want to make all those filthy fantasies a reality? To bend you over every surface in this apartment and take you until you're sobbing my name?
You let out a soft yelp as you feel Xavier lift you easily, his strong arms supporting your backside as he sets you down on the cool marble countertop. The sudden height difference puts you at eye level, and you find yourself staring into Xavier's intense gaze as he steps between your splayed thighs.
He grips your hips, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he tugs you closer to the edge of the counter. His hands slide up your sides, pushing your shirt up and over your head and tossing it carelessly to the floor. You sit before him in your lacy bra, your chest heaving and your nipples straining against the delicate material. Xavier's gaze drops to your chest, his eyes hungry and appreciative as he drinks in the sight of you.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he murmurs, reaching out to cup the soft swells in his palms. His thumbs brush over your nipples, teasing the sensitive peaks until they pebble even further. You gasp, arching into his touch as jolts of pleasure shoot through you.
"That's it, baby, don't fight it. Let yourself feel good."
One of his hands slides around to unhook your bra, freeing your breasts. Your cheeks flush hotly as you sit bare before him, but the way Xavier looks at you makes you feel powerful, desirable, wanted in a way you'd never been wanted before.
He leans down to capture one nipple in his mouth, suckling and flicking the sensitive bud with his tongue, your fingers tangle in his silver hair. You can feel the heat building between your legs, the ache growing more insistent with each pass of his tongue over your flesh.
"Xavier," you gasp, tugging at his hair. "Please..."
His teeth close around your nipple, biting down just hard enough to make you cry out. The sharp sting of pain melded with the pleasure coursing through you send a bolt of electricity straight to your core. He soothes the ache with his tongue, swirling around the sensitive peak before releasing it with a pop.
Looking up at you through hooded eyes, Xavier's gaze is intense, almost feral in its hunger. "Is this what you want?" he asks "Do you want me to fuck you raw, right here on this kitchen counter? Want me to spread your legs wide and plunge into your tight little cunt until you scream?"
You stare into Xavier's darkened gaze. "Yes," you breathe, the word tumbling from your lips before you can stop it. "Gods, yes Xavier, please..."
Spurred on by your desperate plea, Xavier, wasting no time unzips his fly, freeing his hard aching cock from the confines of his pants, his shirt follows soon after. You lift your hips, shimmying out of your skirt and kicking off your panties in record time, you bare yourself completely to his hungry gaze.
Before you can take your next breath, Xavier grabs your thighs, gripping them tightly as he pushes your legs wider, opening you fully to him. Then, with one powerful thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, filling and stretching you in one swift, hard stroke.
You scream, head falling back as he stretches you impossibly wide, filling you so deeply you swear you can feel him in your throat. He doesnt give you time to adjust, just starts pounding into you with deep, brutal strokes .
"Yes, fuck!" Xavier moans, one hand gripping the edge of the counter while the other digs into the soft flesh of your hip, holding you in place as he fucks you.
You can only cling to him, fingernails scoring down his back as you meet each of his thrusts with the roll of your own hips. Its fast and hard, just like in the book, just like you both crave. Xavier's cock drags deliciously against your walls with each thrust, stoking the pleasure building low in your belly.
"Harder," you gasp, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Fuck me harder, Xavier!
You feel his control snap and with a surge of strength, he lifts you off the counter, only to slam you back down, impaling you fully on his throbbing cock.
You scream, the sudden force of his thrust making you see stars. He starts to move then, really move, fucking into you with deep, powerful thrusts that make your breasts bounce with each impact. The new angle allows him to hit that spot deep inside you, sending shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body.
"Yes, fuck, just like that!" You cry out, fingers digging into the hard muscles of his back.
"Play with your clit, bunny. I want to feel you squeeze my cock" At his command, you reach down between your thighs, finding your aching clit swollen and throbbing. You circle the sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing tight, quick circles. The combination of his deep, powerful thrusts and your fingers on your clit push you rapidly towards a massive peak.
"Please, please..." You beg, too far gone to be embarrassed by your desperate pleas. "I want to feel you come inside me, Xavier."
With a scream of his name you come undone, your body convulsing as your orgasm crashes over you, cunt clenching around Xavier's cock, squeezing him as wave after wave of pleasure washes through you.
Xavier lets out a groan, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips even harder as he slams into you one, two, three more times before burying himself to the hilt. With a last, shuddering moan, he comes deep inside you, his hot seed spurting against your cervix as he fills you up just like you begged him to.
He holds your trembling body close as he carries you to your bedroom, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He can feel your mixed pleasure dripping down his thighs.
Laying you down gently on the bed, he follows you down, hovering over you as he slowly pulls out of your tender cunt. You whimper at the loss, feeling empty and aching already. But before you can voice your protest, Xavier reaches down, gathering your combined essence on his fingers. He brings them to your entrance, pushing the sticky, pearlescent liquid back inside you.
"There, now you'll keep my cum nice and deep inside you," he smiles "I want you to feel me there for the rest of the night.
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