#the way I still talk sometimes about the issues men face

[alyanas-little-hideout]

sometimes it feels like growing up with the privilege to always be heard and acknowledged can make it hard to recognize what is actually being silenced or ignored and what is simply not being afforded those privileges that one has grown to take as their right.

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[adelliet]

Wolverine x f!reader

CAR INCIDENT

Summary: After you got to the mysterious place, you met two men who wanted you in their team, but you refused. In the end, you joined them anyway, but it was for a completely different reason.

Warnings: MDNI 18+, strong language, brutal fight, blood, cruel insults (I don't want to offend anyone), oral sex (f!receiving), pitiless unprotected sex (piv), sex through clothes

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,,Oh you motherfucker! I am going to kill-" you angrily pointed at Paradox and run after him, but before you could barely scratch him he pointed some kind of pole at you and you were suddenly falling who knows where. You scream your way down and after you hit the ground you stayed there for a while and fainted.

After a while you heard two male voices, one sounded deep and masculine, the other not so much and when you felt the presence of strangers around you, it forced you to open your eyes and finally wake up.

"Aw there you are sleeping beauty" when you finally focus your vision, there were two men in suits standing over you. One looked like spiderman from wish, the other was wearing a peeled banana costume and even his stern disgusted face looked like that too.

"Where am I? Who the fuck are you?" furiously but still a bit confused you started asking questions as you get on your elbows. ,,Easy there sugarbear, I'll help you" the Red Riding Hood offered you a hand but you pushed it away and stand up on your own.

"Okay, independent, got it” the coca~cola mascot kept talking shits and you started getting furious. You liked the yellow lemon more, all he did was keep his mouth shut and stare at you with a murderous look, just your type.

"Can you tell me where the fuck am I?" you threw your hands in the air and really got your tone serious. "I wish we knew darling" "Call me darling again, and I'll cut you nuts, shove them right into your nostrils and push them forward until your head explodes!" You warned the red bastard and he put his hands up in surrender. The moron in yellow right next to him started laughing, immediately caught your attention.

“And what the fuck are you laughing at, wanna be minion?” after your very personal insult, the banana guy stopped laughing, his face taking on a really pissed expression instead.

"Look, we don't know much more than you. All of a sudden we found ourselves here and we have nothing but ourselves" the red guy went to give the angry man an exemplary hug, but he dodged his shoulder so roughly, that he almost hit the wanna be spiderman in the face.

You just rolled your eyes and looked around, but it was a complete desert. Literally, it was a desert with nothing and no one, just fucking sand and some rock here and there.

"You know it's not that bad in here, no loud crying babies, no honking cars..." you closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm down a little, but it was really impossible over the voice of that jerk who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Well, unfortunately, even breathing exercise didn't calm you down and you lose it.

,,Fuck! Son of a bitch! Fucking cunt! Eat my goddamn asshole!” you awkwardly waved your arms around, kicking the ground and screaming at the top of your voice while the two dorks just watched you silently with a blank face.

They let you really express yourself and it was a true spectacle for them. Wade was smiling and giggling under his mask while Logan was incredibly visibly judging you, even though he has anger issues himself.

When you finally get yourself over it, you turned back to face the two bubs, who never took their eyes off you for a single second. "Sorry about that I just..." you raised your hand as an apologetic act but you didn't know how to continue in your speech, so you just shut your mouth and calmly looked at the ground accompanied by a loud disappointed exhalation.

,,It's okay honeybun, Wolvie loose himself too sometimes" you raised an eyebrow and look at the banana coded man, who snarled so terrifyingly that it gave you goosebumps all over your body. But you couldn't tell if it turned you on or it drove you fear.

"But, we need to find a way out of this dump and save my world-" "And fix my past" the ‘Wolvie’ man finished the sentence and you frowned offensively at both of them. "Woah woah woah, hold on a second" you throw your hands again until you showed a raised index finger. "We?"

"Um yes? Weeee" that red period-ad jerk started twirling his finger around, showing that by 'we' he meant everyone including you. But instead of a normal reaction, you burst out laughing so hard that your eyes watered. After a while, the really chatty brute joined in, but the minion man didn't even move a muscle on his face.

"Are you done or-" he asks firmly and watched you as if you were some kind of idiots, but at that moment you were idiots. "What makes you think, I would want to join your little pervert club huh?" when you finally reassured, you insulted both of them at once efforesly, again.

The Little Red Riding Hood finally stopped laughing and the bitter lemon was still looking at you the same way, murderous look of a killer. Even though his expression was truly terrifying, you weren't afraid.

"Well, I mean I thought it was obvious!" you returned your attention back on the spiderman and stared at him in disbelief, as you started shaking your head. "Oh my god-" you firmly stuck two fingers on the radix of your nose and squeezed very hard.

You really hoped that it would make you dizzy and you'd pass out again and then wake up at home under the covers with hot cocoa in your hand, unfortunately that didn't happen.

You admired the banana minion a lot, that he could stand that jerk, but you suspected that he was also losing his nerve with him, just during this conversation. Still, you were quite surprised that he hadn't killed him long ago.

“You know what, I'll find the exit by myself, bye losers!” You very graciously said goodbye to them and walked to the other side than the two of them were standing together.

"Wait, you don't even know us!" "And I don't even want to!" you turned your head towards them and then back where you were heading. There was a sweet silence for a while until the yellowjacket spoke up this time. "Uh, you probably shouldn't go there" you sighed in annoyance and turn your head at them again. "Oh really? Well you can suck my di-" BOOM, something really heavy crashed into your head and you were K.O. just in a snap.

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Your eyelids were really heavy but you finally managed to open your eyes. Your vision was blurry and your head was pounding, like you'd been drinking for three days straight and had the most painful hangover.

You automatically held your head in your hands and tried to get a little idea of ​​where you were. You were in a car, new car, but something wasn't right. You were sitting in the passenger seat, so logically, someone had to drive the car.

You carefully turned your head to the left and there was none other than lemon guy with a really cute hairstyle, styled into cat ears, that you only noticed it now.

"Where am I?" your drunk tone brightened up the quiet atmosphere and you let it be known that you were finally awake. He didn't even have the balls to look at you when he answered. "Isn't it obvious?" he pretty much wiped you out with that and you acknowledged it by nodding your head to the side. But you were still disoriented and mostly had no idea how you got here.

"Wha-what happened?" you drop your hand down to your thighs, when the headache subsided. You tried really hard to remember, but all you remember is how you turned around to the two bastards and then, all you could see was black.

“Well, after you told me to suck your dick, you got hit by some freak called Juggernaut" he was still paying 100% of his attention to the road, but at the end of the sentence he finally looked at you to check if you're not bleeding. He knew that you probably had some superpowers, because a mere human wouldn't survive such an impact, but he didn't know that you also had a healing factor, so even if you bled, it would be just for a while.

"Juggernaut..." you repeated his name quietly. "Who the fuck is that?" your tone sounds way more better and it was finally possible to recognize that it is a female voice too.

"I don't know, after his fucking boring speech about world domination, he took Deadpool..." the yellow guy finally told you where you were actually going, but you didn't pay attention to it at first, because the redhead's name took you by surprise.

"Deadpool? That's the name of the moron who won't shut the fuck up?" he nodded before correcting you. "Well, his superhero name" you silently repeated the last two words and did not take your eyes off the driver. "And your is Wolvie?-" "Wolverine" he growled quite angrily and insulted. Goosebumps jumped all over your body and your body hair stood up immidiately.

"And your full name is?" you asked mainly for a reason, because even though you enjoyed calling him a rotten banana, you have your limits. "Why should I tell you mine when I know shit about you" fair point. ,,You're right...I am Y/N Y/L/N. I don't have a superhero name cuz I don't need to be special" you needed to mock them with that addition, but he ignored it.

"Logan Howlett" when you heard his full name you couldn't help but start giggling all over the car. Logan gave you a judgmental yet annoyed look but you continued on. "The fuck you laughin' at?" he asked, getting really sick of you already. You wped your tears carefully as you calmed yourself down.

"Logan? What stupid name is that? Your parents must hate you for giving you that name!” you started laughing again but stopped, when he turned the car around and aggressively stepped on the brake. "Listen to me, kitten, you're going to behave yourself and keep your mouth shut, is that clear to you?! " he looked really pissed off, you probably hit his sensitive spot, but couldn't care less.

"And why should I do that?" "Because we fucking saved your life! Some gratitude wouldn't kill you..." he grabbed the steering wheel and looked like he was going to starts the car, but you wouldn't let him.

,,Gratitude?! I'd save myself and besides, I said I don't want to be in your pervert little club, so goodbye!" you reached for the handle of the car door, but it couldn't be opened. The moron locked it. You turn your head slowly to Logan and hissed. "Open. The. Fucking. Door." but he didn't do that and just shook his head.

"Open the fucking door or I'll smash your head!" you started threatening and really thought you were even foaming at the mouth from how much you raged, but Logan just chuckle at your silly words and looked you deep into your eyes, hypnotizing you by his murderous gaze.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to kick you out of this fucking car and run you over until you're nothing but crunchy bones?" he growled at you really pissed off and you just listened in silence to see where his words would go. ,,But alas, I'm doing it for Wade" he turned his face back to front and gripped the steering wheel really hard, as if it was eating away from the inside, that he was doing something nice for his co-worker.

From his speech, you obviously understood that Deadpool's name is Wade and that he wants you on his team, but you'd rather blow a homeless man than join these wretches. "Yeah well, I don't give a single fuck what that cunt wants, I said I'm not joining you, so open the fucking door, you son of a bitch!"

The atmosphere in the car could be cut as the two of you argued and cursed each other. You have never said so many dirty words in your entire life. "You ungrateful little bitch! We saved your life and now you're going to save that jerk with me!" he punched into the steering wheel and you were really surprised it didn't break into pieces already.

"Are you fucking deaf grandpa?! I'm not going with you so open the door!" it was endless, you kept arguing about practically the same thing just exchanging words until Logan really lost his temper with you and you got to experience what he's really like.

"You little dirty bitch I'll tell you something. I've never seen someone as pathetic and moronic as you! You must have grown up without a dad and now you just fucking old men so you could know what a man's love feels like, but you will never experience it! And the worst part is that it was god's best joke, you didn't die when Juggernaut landed on you!"

You just stared at him silently in disbelief. You really didn't expect this, all these insults hit you hard and you felt several mixed emotions at once. Your blood was boiling inside you, but your face was still blank, watching Logan without blinking once. You knew he was a dick, but you really had no idea he could say all these things.

You were still staring at him, not a single movement of your facial muscles, not a single twitch of your body, you were frozen and had no idea what to say or do next.

,,Oh you have nothing to say now, mouth?!” But Logan still got no answer. You stared at him silently and adrenaline was starting to accumulate in your body at the speed of light. Eventually you wete finally being able to say something.

,,I'm gonna fight you now" you said in the most stern tone with no emotions at all. Logan just started laughing at you. ,,Oh are you?” As soon as he said that, Logan got punched right in the nose, which immediately started bleeding and he suddenly stopped laughing so much.

He looked really peeved and so was he. With an angry growl he punched you twice as hard until he took your head and started banging it against the radio, that changed the song whenever your forehead was crushed.

After the third smash when You're The One That I Want started playing on the radio, he finally let your head go and you immediately wanted to take the opportunity and reached for your knife, but you didn't make it because you got another hard hit into the bleeding face.

He knock you down for a tiny moment and Logan immediately tied you up by safety belt and rammed his knives sticking out of his knuckles right into your stomach. You painfully moan as you throw your head back, as Logan tells you, “You're not talking at all, are ya?" while twirling his knives into you, making you even more wail in pain.

He then pulled his knives out and prepared to drive them right into your head, but you reached for a lever that decomposes the seat into a bad-mode and just narrowly dodged Logan. But he already pierce his knives through the car.

He immediately wanted to attack you until you started using your legs. You kicked him in the head, then wrapped his body around with your seriously strong thighs and started slamming him against the side of the car. He grumpled every time he got slammed, but he didn't let you like it for long because he then stabbed you right in the ribs.

“Ah you dirty bitch!” you groaned and kicked Logan so hard that he broke the front window and flew out of it. This gave you a few seconds to prepare for him, so you pulled your knives out of your pants pockets, but before you could do anything more, Logan flew at you through the empty space and stabbed you right in the ribs again.

You let out a loud moan and scrunched your face in pain as you threw your head back and lifted your lap, resting it right on Logan's cock. His knives still stuck deep inside you, while you were hissing and whining, your eyes tightly shut and your pan was still rubbing against Logan's private part.

Normally, he would already punching your head, or stabbed you anywhere else on your body, but he stopped. That view at you writhing in pain, covered in blood and plus that preassure you were giving him without realizing, fuck it was turning him on.

His irascible expression softened, as he tucked back in his knives, making you howl in pain, but it didn't hurt for long, as your wounds healed almost immediately. You were already preparing for another hard hit, but nothing happened.

Your lower part was still up, literally provoking Logan, but still nothing. You finally opened your eyes and put your bum back on the seat, when you saw Logan above you, not so angry and feral anymore. You were confused and wanted to ask him what the fuck he was doing, but his hands were faster than your words.

He grabbed your side and forced you again lifting your waist and rubbing it against Logan's lap. He hummed softly as he closed his eyes and dropped his head, and you immediately knew what is going on. But the worst part of it all was, that you wanted it just as much as he did.

The whole fight excited you so much that you had so much happiness hormone and adrenaline in you, that completely destroyed all the intelligent cells. They would forbid you to do this or even think about it at all but since you didn't have one left, you had no choice.

You started to help Logan and moved back and forth, creating more friction, that made Logan go feral again. "Ah fuck" he growled under his breath as you pushed more into his rising erection, screaming for freeing him from that tight yellow suit. God, the sight of Logan and the feel of his cock, which didn't seem small at all, made a waterfall between your legs.

To top it all off, as if everyone was wishing you this, the song on the radio changed and I Feel Like I'm Drowning started playing, adding to the whole atmosphere the right vibe. After a few seductive movements, you parted your lips and began to sigh softly, which was sweetening to Logan's ears.

He opened his eyes and looked at you, how seductive you were, how desperate you looked. Oh he's gonna fuck your brain out.

You couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his neck, pulling him closer and pressed your lips to his. He didn't hesitate for a second and cooperated, bitting your lower lip to have better penetration for his tongue.

He didn't stop at fucking you through your clothes as he desperately begged for more friction in the delivery of his growls.

You didn't expect Logan to be such a good kisser. Like sure, he's old enough to have experience, but like this? It was like kissing sweet meringue freshly made from a pastry shop, like touching strawberry cotton candy with your lips, like tasting the sweetest cherry for the first time.

The combination of sweet kissing at the top but hard fucking at the bottom made your heart beat much faster, you though that you will have a heart attack every second.

Logan's pace picked up, a lot. Both of your bodies shake real fast, as he was trying to catch up to his climax. However, he didn't stop kissing you during that, but his frenzy began to show, when the slow kissing turned into biting and squealing during it.

"Logan I-" you whined his name between the wild kisses, as you felt you are on the edge. Logan knew it, your body began to shake with impatience and your first smooth steady moans were now more like choppy, startled grunts.

"I know bub, I know" he groans as he himself felt he couldn't take it anymore. He really wanted to rip the suits off of both of you and cum into you, but he didn't have time or patience for that.

His movements were now merciless and he even had to stop kissing you, because he started feeling dizzy. Your nails dug deep into Logan's neck, blood dripping onto your suit but it was barely a pinch to Logan. Mostly, he couldn't feel anything other than how close he was to his orgasm.

Your warm feeling in your lower abdomen was getting hotter and hotter, the tension of your whole body was completely at its limit and you only needed a few more thrusts to finally feel the release. That's exactly what Logan gave you, and you both cum at the same time, moan and growl over each other, when you were shaking with shock.

Naturally, you were still moving your hips to ride off the orgasm while Logan was trying to desperately catch his breath. Well, both of you destroyed your suits, disabled yourselfs and thus lost all respect and Wade is probably dead by now, but it was worth it.

Logan was still holding you in the air but you were so exhausted that you gave him all your weight. It was nothing to him, like you barely even weigh anything.

When Logan's breathing finally settled, he let go of your waist and jumped on you like a beast. You were still breathing heavily but he didn't care, he filled your mouth with his nimble tongue while his naughty hands tried to get your suit off as fast as possible.

You became quite suspicious after a while as you still felt his big fingers on your waist but the suit was still stuck on you like a tick. Logan took a deep angry breath between the kisses, before he pulled away and let out a furious shout. "Fuck!" this time he focused only on your suit.

You chuckle at the sigh of him trying so desperately to see you naked. He looked like an angry child who didn't get a sweet treat. Your laugh infuriates him even more, but when he felt your hand on his, he looked at you and stopped all his movements.

"Let me help you" you gave him a warm smile and with a bit of a struggle started unzipping the zipper on your back that ended just above your ass. Logan watched you breathlessly and waited. You tried to keep eye contact the whole time as you slowly stripped out of your suit and like a snap of your fingers, you were completely naked and the suit was god knows where.

He admired your body for a moment, his eyes scanning you thoroughly until they landed on your face again. Leaning your elbows on the seat, you waited to see what he is gonna do, he was so unpredictable.

He gave you a devilish smirk, before he got on his knees and his face disappeared between your legs. Your breath started shaking as you leaned against your palms to have a better view of Logan. Without any warning, he slammed his lips, still wet from your saliva, on your folds.

You immediately throw your head back as you sink your fingers inside the seat, while trying to keep your voice down. He was just giving you a sweet little kisses at first, starting from your clit down to your pulsating core. He repeated this few times, before he penetrated his tongue inside you. You bite your lips really hard, as you desperately tried to be as quiet as possible.

You were starting to closing your legs from that unimaginable pleasure, but Logan had his strong hands on your thighs, keeping them from crushing his head. He was looking at you, how you were shaking from excitement, how his swirling tongue inside you makes your jaw dropped and eyes wide open.

He loved every second of it. You tasted amazing, he couldn't get enough of your juice and he needed more, he was voracious. That was why he buried his face even deeper into your core, making you arch your back and grab Logan's hair really hard, that you almost pulled some out.

The way his nose was accidentally bumping into your clit, and his nimble tongue inside you, trying to suck up everything he could, was sending you to the edge faster and faster. Your efforts to be quiet failed and you moaned his name as loud as your vocal cords would allow.

The way you pulled Logan's hair and ground your waist even deeper into his face made him growl into you, the vibration from his voice sending shivers down your spine. He was messaging your thighs violently, definitely leaving bruises there. But you didn't mind, at least it was a reminder of this unforgettable moment.

After a few more twirls of his tongue inside you, you started tightening around him. Your stomach lurched and you threw your head back so briskly that your neck nearly snapped. The hot feeling started being overwhelming and just when your legs started shaking and you lost complete control of your lower body, you released yourself accompanied by a loud wail.

Logan groaned as he felt your salty juice on his tongue in large quantities and swallowed it all, not leaving a single drop. He also cleaned your folders, making your body trembled from the slight overstimulation.

Logan got up from his knees and watched you for a moment as you struggled to catch your breath again. Eyes closed, sweat dripping from your forehead and mouth hang open, this is how you looked and all of this is just Logan's clever work.

After a while of observation, he leaned closer to you, forcing you to lie on your back. You opened your eyes, still exhausted with no energy, while Logan on the other hand looked as alert as fish. "That...was..." you tried to form some kind of meaningful sentence, but your mouth failed you. Logan just laughed at you.

,,Ah we're just gettin started, bub” he lunged straight for your neck where he mercilessly bit and seared your skin so hard, that for a moment you thought he really wanted to tear it from your body. You whined as you grabbed his huge back and your fingernails almost cut through his banana suit.

You didn't even notice when Logan managed to take his suit off but out of nowhere he was completely naked just like you. It was a must, urge, a need for you to touch his abs and boobs, feel his hairy body and take advantage of an opportunity that not everyone has. The best part was, that the sweat reflected the light beautifully on him and he literally blinded you with his body.

He stopped harrasing your neck for a moment and kept his head really close over yours, your noses almost touching. "You like that?" he asked with a cocky smile, while you were appreciating him and sliding your fingers around the depth. That was enough for Logan, he chuckled dutifully until he jumped back onto your red-purple neck, trying to find more parts he hadn't tasted yet.

You felt his hard erection poking your inner thigh and from time to time even touching your wet folds. Even though your neck was sore as hell, you regained the energy and urge to have something inside you, to have Logan inside you.

Your hips started eagerly moving, desperately wanting to feel more than just a tip. Logan noticed what you were trying to do and finally let go of your neck. You were so glad for your healing factor right now.

That stupid cocky smile didn't leave his face once, as he put his forehead against yours. His eyes open, watching you struggle with yours. They kept glitching, closing and opening, not being able to hold still.

When you finally managed to keep them open, you look deep into Logan's wolf eyes with hope. You were hoping he would help you release the anger and pain you were holding inside you, you were hoping he would help you release and relax just as he did a moment ago, and that was exactly his intention.

You didn't have to say anything for Logan to know how much you wanted to be full of his dick and he didn't have to say how much he wanted to fuck you either. No words, just intimate eye contact before Logan began to penetrate you.

He was slow at first, even though he wanted to rip out your guts and strangle you a few minutes ago, he didn't really want to hurt you. It was painful at first, but just for a moment, because Logan literally stretched you out with his tongue before, so you were kinda prepared for him. His head was inside and you could already tell that he is massive.

He growls as he kept moving forward and you were literally killing him by how tight and wet you were. You were made for him, as soon as he was balls deep inside you, there was no room for anything else anymore. The feeling of being full makes you insane.

Logan didn't hesitate for a second and began to move his hips, just for a warm up. He didn't even pull out completely, just a gentle thrusts, that made you whine whenever he pushed in.

He adored your soft whimper but he wanted to hear you moan his name, he needed to hear it. That's why he started to accelerate the pace and magnify the strength of his thrusts. The wet juicy sound of Logan's cock inside you surrounded the whole car. After a little while, you could immediately smell sex and lust in there.

Before long, Logan's sweet movements fade into lustful rough thrusts, that made your boobs moving and your hair messy. His hot heavy breath warmed your face, as you were still glued to each other's face with forehead, but Logan couldn't keep up with this position anymore and needed to have your body under full control.

He securely grabbed your weist as he backed up and looked at you from above. He kept your lower body as still as he could, while callously pulling his member fully out and then pushed him as deep as his body allows him. Your vision started being blurry and your eyes began watering, as Logan didn't mess with you at all and bitterly fucked you.

When you thought his tongue was too much, this was a totally different level. It was pleasure and pain at the same time. You rolled your eyes and since your support was no longer Logan's back, you grabbed the seat underneath you and ruined it with your nails. Poor seat.

His teeth clenched as he was keeping his gaze on you, on your poor face begging for his cum. That thought turned him on even more, he had to throw his head back as his balls were still clapping against your ass in a lightning speed.

You feel it again, the heat, spinning head, the burning sensation in the lower abdomen, you were close as hell. Your core were pulsating like never before, giving Logan a clear sign you will cum soon. But the throbbing feeling of your cunt against Logan's base make his balls so full that he feels the need to empty himself too.

Now it was just a wild ride. Logan quickly grabbed you and flipped you over so you were sticking your butt out and your face was pinned to the broken seat. That sudden change of position sends you even closer to the edge and you were at a stage where you didn't give a single shit about your loudness.

,,Ah fuck yes” Logan growled like a beast as he still ferarly and rawly thrusts into you from behind. All his hatred and anger that he had held inside for so long is giving into his slamming against your mellow squashy ass.

The only thing you regretted was that you couldn't see his enjoyable face. but it made up for it that he immediately found your g-spot when he changed the position, and god forbid, he was torturing that spongy wet spot which you could never reach on your own.

You scrunch your face tightly by the fact that you were so desperate to reach your climax. You move your ass against Logan's lap, helping both of you to finally cum. He slammed your butt once or twice, admiring the shakeness of it. But that still didn't appease his grudge. He grabbed you by your messy hair and pulled so hard that you got up on all fours.

"Huh, where's your attitude now, bub?" He hissed but the clapping and wet sounds were way more louder than his dirty words. You were in a whole other dimension. All your senses stopped working as if you were drugged and all you could feel was Logan's twitching dick inside you.

He was losing control of his hips and his movements, all he focused on was you, how you were tightening around him and moaning his name so loudly that he would remember this voice into his 90s.

"I'm cumming...I-" you whine, almost whisper roughly as you felt that weird but pleasant urge to pee. Logan sinks his fingers into your flesh firmly, as he knew he will fill you up any second now. He was still holding your hair really tight and you couldn't hold back anymore.

You arch your back as you cum on Logan's cock, but he kept going, until he finally cum too. He screamed so loudly that the birds outside were startled and flew away. You both tried to steady your breathing again as Logan rammed into you peacefully a few more times.

You were devastated. Your makeup was smeared and plastered on the holey and scratched seat, your core was swollen and red and your hair looked like a nest. Logan was in a same state as you. All sweaty, his dick full of veins, that were painfully pulsating and his hair, which resembled wolf ears, were just a mess.

After his breathing calmed down a bit, he let go of your hair and carefully pulled himself out of you. You both hissed but then let out a relieved moan when he was fully out. He collapsed right into the seat next to you, his head turned to your direction.

You landed with all your weight on your seat, if you can even call it that, and closed your eyes. Little did you know that Logan was looking at you the whole time, waiting for you to finally open your eyes and look at him too. It took a while but when you did, he smiled at you. You were too exhausted to wonder that Logan Howlett just smiled at you. Instead, you smiled back.

Then, out of nowhere, he started laughing hysterically and you joined him. It looked really funny, two completely naked people in a destroyed car lying across each other and laughing. Everyone would say you took some kind of drug. Well, if rough disrespectful sex counts as a drug, then yes.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"You know, I started worried for a minute there" Wade said as he looked out the window from the backseat. You were sitting in the passenger seat and of course, Logan was driving.

Before you went to save Wade you cleaned the car as best as you could and yourselfs too. “I really though you just gave up on me like that...” none of you answered, you just listened to his stupid talk. "Did you notice that it kinda smells like sex in here?" your eyes widened and your breath got caught up in your throat.

Logan was shocked too, but he quickly cleared his throat and kept himself calm. "The original owner apparently used this as a sex place or somethin'” his deep voice was really convincing. Wade just grunted in agreement and was finally quiet, but only for a moment.

,,And I also heard someone screaming your name Logan and I gotta tell you, it was really intense" okay and now, you're fucked.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[mariasont]

Training Day - A.H

a/n: you all wanted more bimbo!assistant!reader and i'm a woman of the people so here we are

on a real note i love her and she is my queen

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader

summary: you don't understand why hotch is giving you training lessons, but apparently he thinks you need it

warnings: talking about men following her in public YUCK, hotch trying to train reader, reader not knowing what's going on, cuties being cute

wc: 0.8k

"I still don't really know why we're doing this."

You were grumbling more than was characteristic for you, with every part of your body, your arms, your legs, and even your ass, suffering from a dull ache--sadly, not the result of any enjoyable pastime. After being knocked over more times than you cared to count, Hotch extended his hand toward you. You gladly took it, letting him pull you to your feet.

Your fingers deftly pulled at your pink tracksuit top over the sliver of abdomen that that had been revealed in your less-than-graceful take down. Hotch had pointed out the impracticality of your outfit when you showed up, but you stood firm on the principle that if early training sessions were expected of you, then your attire would be non-negotiable.

"Because I want to be confident in your abilities to defend yourself." His arms folded over his chest as his gaze bore into you, challenging you to contradict him.

"I'm just here to look pretty and answer your phones, crime-fighting isn't in my job description. That's your thing, Mr."

You shuffled back to your original position anyway, hands coming up to shield your face as you mentally sorted through the steps, or at least tried to, struggling to recall the correct foot placement.

"Shoulder width apart."

It's like he could read your mind. You were not entirely convinced that he couldn't.

"Crime-fighting doesn't have to be your thing," Hotch stated, narrowing the gap between you, his hands firmly correcting your stance. You sometimes found an excuse to stand just so, hoping he would step in to manhandle you into place. "But being part of the BAU, even peripherally, means you're not immune to risks. I need to know you can handle yourself... for my piece of mind."

"Sir, is this like, your super-secret way of showing you care?"

Your lips twisted into a half-smile as his hands clasped your waist a little tighter than necessary: a warning that said you were playing with fire. His fingers then moved to direct yours, positioning them closer to your face, his knuckles lightly grazing across your cheek in the process.

"Eyes on me, stay focused."

"My eyes are always on you, sir," you say, your head canting to one side. 

He released a controlled breath, giving you a level look that signaling you were pushing it. Nevertheless, you flashed him a beaming smile and initiated the move he had been drilling into you. The tip of your elbow made contact with the soft of his stomach.

He issued a muted groan as he intercepted your arm, preventing it from digging further, and in a fluid motion he spun you around, pinning your backside to his front.

"That was perfect, right?" you squealed, your fist shooting up in victory.

The sudden jump caused his hands to shift from your arm, finding a new perch on your hips to steady your... enthusiastic bounce.

You whirled in his grasp, the proximity sending a faint hum through his chest. Clearing his throat, he managed. "Yes, uh, that was it."

Clutching his shirt, the fabric crumpled beneath your purple-tipped fingers, you giggled. "Just imagine someone trying to follow me to my car now. They wouldn't know what hit 'em!"

"Is that a common occurrence?" The lines of his face gathered into that customary look of concern, that characteristic frown of his making an appearance.

He gently disentangled your hands from his shirt, not letting go, but rather laying his atop of yours.

"Well, sometimes, but I usually just call Morgan, put him on speaker, and he starts talking about the FBI stuff," you explained, giving a light shrug that nudged the zipper of your jacket down just a smidge. "They take off after that."

He clenched his eyes shut, pausing momentarily before reopening it. One hand let go of yours to adjust the zipper back to its proper position.

"That makes my stomach hurt." And it did. "Don't hesitate to call me when that happens. I'll come get you."

Your smile stretched ear to ear, potent enough to make him feel lightheaded. "You know, with all these trainings, who needs to call for help?"

"How about we compromise, and you still call me, regardless?"

You pout your lips, shiny with clear gloss rather than your usual pink. "That sounds less like a compromise and more like a you thing, ya know?"

Hotch's laughter rumbled from his chest, a warm, breathy sound, as he let go of your hands, which he realized he had been holding far longer than appropriate, and guided you to the door.

"You don't appreciate the added precautions I'm willing to take for your safety?"

Dragging your sneaker on the floor, you plucked your bag from the wall as Hotch closed the door behind you. "Gee, when you say it like that..."

When you walked down the hall you seemed to be perfectly in step.

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @freyy253 @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @sarcasm-and-stiles

join my taglist here

[lemurchick]

Every year on the tourist island of Borkum in Germany, locals organize a celebration called Klaasohm, the purpose of which is to beat women.

On December 5, unmarried male members of the prestigious association “Boys of Borkum” wear huge, up to a meter high, masks decorated with horns, fur and feathers. First there is a ritual fight in a closed hall, where only those born on the island are allowed. Photos and videos of the fight are forbidden.

The winner chooses his assistants and they scatter around the island hunting for women. Any woman who gets in their way will be beaten, I'm not kidding, with cow horns in which grain is poured for additional weight. Bruises remain for weeks. It's fun for men, and pain and humiliation for women.

This brutal tradition is believed to date back to the days of the whalers. They would return to their homes in the fall and beat their wives, reminding them who was in charge of the household. The custom has survived to this day, but outsiders are not told about it: the male population of the island does not want it to become known. Only about 5,000 people live on the island, and those who break the conspiracy of silence will face public condemnation and stigma. But some find the courage to speak out anonymously on social media:

Many islanders hate the festival and are forced to keep their mouths shut because of social pressure.

"As a Borkum native, I have been telling people for years that this actually still exists on the island and no one wants to believe me."

"Everyone has to participate, and those who don't want to, too. They're afraid they'll get hurt if they speak out."

"This island is a big village. I think everyone here knows how communities like this work. If you speak out against it, the whole town will talk about you, you will be ignored and sometimes persecuted. I've seen what it's like for people who have been ostracized. Many people are afraid, which is why this festival is not publicly criticized. The journalists will leave, but you'll still have a reputation as a traitor."

Defenders of the tradition argue that in order to avoid being beaten, women simply need to stay out of the house. However, there are many accounts of men letting the masked participants into houses and apartments or even pushing women out into the street.

For many years, information about the barbaric custom did not leak out. In 2018, journalists tried to report on Klaasohm, but they were literally kicked off the island. This year, however, almost all of Germany's leading media outlets covered what was happening on the island.

Faced with nationwide criticism, the mayor issued a statement emphasizing that “in order for Klaasohm to remain an important holiday and festival that shapes the identity of the people of Borkum, awareness must be kept low. It has always been the task of the association to maintain silence around this tradition. Please be respectful and do not spread the word.”

Borkum's Equal Opportunities Commissioner supported the statement, and the police noted that no woman has contacted law enforcement in the past five years. Perhaps this is because police officers, doctors, court officials and teachers are heavily involved in the festival and women realize that there is no point in coming for help from someone who held you down yesterday, subjecting you to beatings.

The statement from the Mayor's office only added fuel to the fire and within a day the Young Men of Borkum Association issued a new message:

"We categorically distance ourselves from any form of violence against women and apologize for what has happened in the past."

They also noted that the festival “is more than just a celebration - it is a living expression of our community and an integral part of life in Borkum. It is a time when the whole island comes together.”

As we know, nothing brings men together like hunting women.

(translated from russian channel (the author lives in Germany) Damn Ambivalence )

German Sources: video: Das Schweigen der Insel - Wenn Borkum Klaasohm feiert (https://www.ardmediathek.de/video/panorama-die-reporter/das-schweigen-der-insel-wenn-borkum-klaasohm-feiert/ndr/Y3JpZDovL25kci5kZS8xMzExXzIwMjQtMTEtMjYtMjEtMTU) Hei kummt Klaasohm! (https://www.mare.de/hei-kummt-klaasohm-content-446?srsltid=AfmBOooQQfoiSEBEKzBp1VL0M4ZXkMh_bo3jlfz-vy7IUJOjfxmDLfTS)

Wirbel um „Klaasohm“: Wird Frauen auf Borkum der Hintern versohlt? (https://www.rnd.de/wissen/klaasohm-skandal-auf-borkum-maskierte-maenner-jagen-frauen-tradition-oder-problem-44QIIXJFZNB4JNI4L6LWUNUFSM.html)

Wie ist das Klaasohm-Fest auf Borkum wirklich? (https://www.stadt-borkum.de/index.php?object=tx,3480.5.1&ModID=7&FID=3480.34396.1)

Der Klaasohm – Brauchtum auf Borkum (https://www.dein-niedersachsen.de/regionen/klaasohm/)

Klaasohm-Fest auf Borkum künftig ohne Schläge? (https://www.ndr.de/fernsehen/sendungen/panorama/aktuell/Borkum-Frauen-Schlagen-bei-Klaasohm-soll-abgeschafft-werden,klaasohm106.html)

[unknownplane]

The Court Jester Part 1

Yandere Batfam x GN Reader

Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4

"How did this happen?" the man who claimed to be my father asked.

"It started when I was young. My mother was close friends with Bruce Wayne. So when she died, he decided to take me in. Looking back on it now, I can tell it was just so he could have a piece of her even though she was gone. He, like many other men were infatuated with the idea of her and what could happen if they had her. That is how I came along. Someone couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Nobody, but my father knows that they are my father. We have tried finding him before, but there has been no luck.

I was 4 when I was brought to the manor. Bruce, overwhelmed with anguish, couldn't even look at me as I had my mother's features. Alfred showed me around. I even got to meet my new brother Richard, better known as Dick. An accurate nickname because as soon as he met me, he decided he did not want to be around me. That was fine. I was still dealing with the loss of my mother. As time went on, I felt as if I was forgotten. Bruce was busy throwing himself into "work" and he only needed Dicks help. It didn't take me long to figure out who he was. With all the bruises and tension around the house when things got bad in Gotham anyone living in that house could tell he was Batman. He had claimed he didn't want me to get hurt that's why he never asked for help but I knew it was because I looked like mom. I had her (h/c) (h/t) hair and her (e/c) eyes.

A couple of years later, a new boy came into the mix. His name was Jason Todd. He was okay. He didn't really know when to stop, though. I heard a lot of fights between him and Bruce. He talked to me sometimes when we had time. I was in school getting good grades and he was a Robin so we didn't have much time for each other. But then he died, and I had no one again. Even when he did come back, he came back changed he no longer cared for me. He was harsh. Ruined.

Then there was Tim Drake. He was really nice at the beginning, but he got busy and sleep deprived, so I stopped reaching out. I didn't want to take up his time as he had an actual job.

Then Stephanie Brown came, and I realized that there was a pattern. These people were too busy for me. I should stay out of their way and not be a burden as I have proven to be before.

It was like that until Damian came. He was unlike all the other Robins. He was mean and brutal. It was around this time that I started to reach out to the family. I had realized I had severe depression and self esteem issue from being the only one in this family that did not excel at anything. When I reached out, he was the one who but me back in my place. He was the one who told me to stay in the background where I belonged. And I might have if I was still the child that came here unwillingly at 3 years old, but I am no longer that child. I am an adult who has a degree in psychology and has a stable job. So I left.

When I first moved out, the first person I told was my online friend. I had been in contact with him since I was 5. He was like a father to me. He was very happy for me and told me, "You are finally free from that dreadful house!" and I couldn't agree more. I stayed in contact with him over the years, and our bond strengthened.

Then, one day, not even a month after I left the manor, he asked to meet up. I agreed. We met up at an abandoned wearhouse. He had told me he was a wanted man, so I did not mind. When I saw him, my face lit up as did his. We talked about a lot of things that night. One of which was if I wanted to help him in his endeavor. Chaos. And I gladly agreed as I would do anything for him as he was my father.

He soon started training me. Making sure I could deal with pain and know how to fight. The first week was agony, but then we both realized something. No matter how badly I was injured, it never had reproductions as the injuries would heal almost supernaturally. So soon, we started experimenting. Of course, I still felt pain, but anything for my dad. We found that no matter what happened to me, I couldn't die.

Then, I became strong enough to take part in one of his acts. Which leads us to now. Dies that answer your question?" I say, looking into the desperate eyes of The Batman with an elongated smile. Glee shined in my eyes as I finally had his attention.

"But SHHHH dad doesn't want to know your secret identity! Says it would ruin all the fun!" I proclaim. My teeth are fully showing as I giggle.

"What did I do wrong?" Bruce whispers to himself. As if he didn't already know. This was all his fault, and now the last piece he had of (M/N) was out of reach.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hello!! This is my first time writing on Tumbler and just wanted to say Hi. Please let me know if you want this to continue. If it does, updates would probably be slow as I am in college and am using this as an artistic outlet. Thank you so much for reading!!

[retroaria]

SOMEONES JEALOUS!

summary: (Sakura, Suō, Kaji) when they’re jealous seeing you with another guy!

WIND BREAKER M.LIST | enjoy 🥀 -aria

ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩

Sakuras jealousy is a recurring issue. Once you’re his and he’s accepted that fact, he hates when anyone else gets more attention from you than he does. It makes him question everything, feels like he’s having a mid life crisis.

He sometimes get jealous of the way you interact with the other Bofurin boys as well. Is afraid you might think one of them is nicer than him, or that they could protect you better than he could. you constantly have to reassure him, which makes him feel even worse.

If he sees someone actively flirting with you right in front of him, he goes into fight or flight mode

Acts like you’re about to be murdered and his only way to save you is obnoxiously interjecting himself in the convo. “hahaha right MY PARTNER is soooo cool! you guys friends? Never heard of you before hahaha strange.” “Hey BABE, you seem to be having a lot of fun over here…WITHOUT ME.” The guy would just awkwardly walk away lol

Once he’s gone Sakura goes back to normal and tries to act like what he just did wasn’t borderline insane. “What do you mean? I was just talking to you how I always do.” Yeah suuuuure.

Just make sure he knows you love him and no one else. Appreciates when you include him in convos with strangers while you two are out, hates being left out of the loop.

Ren definitely feels like you are the light of his life, his sunshine on a cloudy day, the only pure thing about him, keeping him sane and at bay. Deep down he’s terrified that you’ll find someone more gentle than he is, someone less angry and tense all the time. So when something threatens to take you away, he gets rather aggressive

He prefers if you don’t see him that way. So anytime someone seems to be a little too flirty, or trying to get a little too close to you, he stalks his pray and waits it out. Once the interaction is over (you obviously rejected them), he’ll wait until you leave, head off to the bathroom, or just aren’t paying attention to shoot them the most devious glance imaginable.

Eyes of a killer as he bites down hard, cracking the candy in his mouth. sending them a signal of what might happen to them if they don’t back off. If you aren’t around, “you shouldn’t go for someone so far out of your league” “back off”.

Suo doesn’t tend to get jealous. He’s got you whipped (just as much as you have him) and he knows it. A confident king.

On the rare occasion he does feel threatened by another man, it’s usually by someone of his same stature, coy and nonchalant. It almost makes his blood boil to see someone teasing you the way he does just to see that cute flustered face.

Thinks its disrespectful for other men to bother you when they should already see how fruitless it is. In his head, someone like you is surely taken. (Though he still finds it hard to believe that he was the one who was able to take you)

He’s likes to let it go on for a little, wanting to see what tactics the guy might employ. He also wants to see the look on this persons face when they are inevitably rejected by you.

If they keep pestering you even after you’ve declined their advances, Suo will step in. “Hey darling, do you need my help here?” “How bold of you to assume you’d have a chance.” (He’s saying all of this with the most devious smile on his face, probably giggling too. Cheeky bastard.)

[niniiko]

Astrology Observations part 2

*not a professional astrologer these are just my personal observations!

SLIGHT TW!!!!

♠️ Taurus venus men usually like women who are on the curvier chubby side

♠️ People who have an 8th house lilith or even saturn sometimes feel guilty for their sexuality and many people also tend to make them feel guilty for being sexual, they often feel repressed

♠️ Nobody talks enough about how Virgo risings have an amazing face bone structure... I've noticed that their cheekbones are often prominent and their face features are so femenine

♠️ Aquarius placements and their unique voices? We can take as an example Jungwon of Enhypen and Rosé from Blackpink, i also noticed that when they sing they have this kind of nasal type of voice and it's so pleasant to hear (can also apply to people who have Aquarius over their 3rd house!)

♠️ Mars over the 6th house can give someone a VERY sensible skin (even allergies) Virgo also rules over the skin since its a Mercurial sign and if Mars is there the native could have a lot of issues with their skin. I have a friend who has this placement and she always has something going on with her skin 😭

♠️ People who have Moon in conjunction with Jupiter can be prone to over eating

♠️ Mercury square Saturn individuals often have a hard time expressing their love through words, they cringe at the idea of doing it

♠️ Libra placements (specially Mercuries) don't shy away from talking about current issues when it comes to politics, injusticies etc... They have very clear ideas and know how to send across their message

♠️ Whatever house Neptune falls into is where people tend to copy you the most:

1st house: your appearance, the way you dress, your energy

2nd house: your material possesions, the things you buy, your finances

3rd house: your personality, internet persona, the way you talk

4th house: your house furniture

5th house: your romantic partners, your vibe

6th house: your daily routines, your connections with people

7th house: your romantic partners, your clothes, your beauty

8th house: your depth, your way of thinking

9th house: the places you travel to, your ideas

10th house: your career choice, your skills

11th house: your friendships, your connections, your popularity, your goals

12th house: your spiritual side, the way you see things in a unique way

♠️ Leo placements like to show off their partners and making sure EVERYONE knows they have a partner, i have some leo placements friends and they are always posting their partners, i think it's very cute

♠️ Pluto in the 2nd house individuals (specially if they also have Taurus placements because Taurus rules the neck and throat) have some sexy and deep voices . . . they also tend to be very possesive 🤣

♠️ If a woman has her Mars in conjunction with her Sun chances are she looks very much like her dad, a friend of mine has this placement and she inherited her dads height and she looks so much like her dad

♠️ Having 12th synastry with someone is beautiful and painful at the same time, specially if personal planets are in there like the moon for example, if your moon falls in their 12th house it's probable that you have a more than physical connection with that person, even if you guys are not together you might still dream of them or viceversa, a very hard to forget connection

♠️ Someone with a lot of Air and Fire placements might be into dancing or doing some sort of creative and artistic stuff

♠️ Air mars's are the real masterminds . . . 💅🏻

Thanks for reading! I wanna thank the people who have interacted with my post, it was my first astrology observations post and I've been learning astrology for just a year and seeing how many people have agreed and rebbloged my post made me very happy 🥹 My intuition told me to post one and after some days of hesitating I decided to upload my personal observations and im glad I did! Anyways, thank you so much I love you always 🤍

[jellyfemmedyke]

I'm so glad someone finally pointed out how trans and queer essayists seem to erase trans men when talking about trans issues. I notice it the most when people talk about the early trans rights movement where people frame trans men and trans masculine individuals as people who essentially just laid back and only stepped in on the (falsely assumed) incredibly rare occasion it directly effected them while trans women did all the work.

Yes! that's actually something that made me most upset. Jesses comment that I quoted stated that /especially/ trans women and (tacking on femme non binaries) have historically faced violence for pointing out these dichotomies are bad or whatever.

This ignores butch and transmasculine history of police violence toward us in a way that feels like either she didn't do any research into it or felt like it wasn't important enough to add into the video. This happens all the time. Minimizing trans male struggles, to make it some sort of trans women empowerment time type thing. That THEY fought the hardest, and THEY were on the front lines, while trans men were easily stealth and didn't do anything to contribute. If you go to any trans man or butch space, you'll hear us talk about how frustrating it is that people think masculinity on female bodies, or perceived women isn't taken as a threat, when most have personal stories of cis men threatening them, or getting into fights or being more aggressive with them than their femme counterparts. It feels like an unwillingness to engage with us. I still dont want to say that this is on purpose, because I don't know the intention behind these comments, or if it's even a clear thought they have, but when i comes to the trans essayists it feels like a girls club with the same idea passed around over and over, that trans women have always had it worse. I'll also say that this is sometimes supported by the trans man creators, like Jammidoger. It's not just the trans women, it's not just the essayists, but they have a large audience and I wish they would stop saying this kind of stuff and cementing these things into peoples heads.

[thepeculiarauthor]

we got another two years prob till link click season 3 so i'm gon talk about everything i love about this series thanks

human trafficking rep. holy shit. a more realistic approach to the mental trauma involved for all parties.

the VAs slapped, regardless of what sub/dub you pick, they all slayed

suicide awareness. so many shows shy away from this when trauma/etc are very real and suicide is often faced as an option. link click takes this and goes "hell no. live. FUXKING LIVE NO MATTER WHAT" and it's 11/10. you're loved. please. stay.

the bonds. not a lot of fiction anymore just shows GENUINE relationships. it's either abusive shit or fluffy shit -- neither are 'good' or realistic. but link click comes along and has functioning adult relationships that Still have issues and problems and arguments and disagreements bUT love is still present in those relationships bc they're healthy

it's also a reminder that genuine love / relationships aren't based on what you can give, etc. (as adults i think we forget this often and we feel we have to deserve a relationship; link click says f this)

a big theme of the story is making mistakes!!!!! so many fictional stories either 1) take the 'aw i messed up again:(' approach or 'my mc can do NOTHING incorrect or wrong ever' and they suck, lol. link click is a great balance of yes, we messed up, but we move forward.

link click also is a solid example of "yeah, sometimes life is shit! you try your best! it doesn't always matter!!!" but not in a "so d/e" way but in a "even so, still try, still love, because knowing you can't control shouldn't instill fear but bravery"

LING IS A POSITIVE FEMALE CHARACTER THAT DOESNT CONSTANTLY HAVE TO SHIT ON MEN TO BE IN THE STORY --

death and grief handled in a realistic way tbh

the occasional laugh and smile and just the humor is pure

the tension and intrigue is the best written and portrayed i've seen and i'll die on this hill sorry

the concept of time travel is popular, but i haven't found anything to tackle the emotional / MORAL consequences like link click has. "SHOULD you change the past? IS IT OK to change the past?" we've all seen "oh no we changed the past we must fix it!!!" but I've never seen "the past, the present, and the future are heartbreaking and gut-wrenching and stunning and precious and beautiful as they are" but HUMAN NATURE remains and our desires continue to be to remove the heartbreak and pain. is that morally wrong or not?

ANYWAY this will prob be part 1 of more but please lmk what you think lol

[beenbaanbuun]

club w/ wooyoung

wrote this after an interaction with mean girls at my local club…

wooyoung has been gone for a little over two minutes now - the bar must be busy - leaving you alone with an almost passed out san

normally you wouldn’t mind since you were well practiced in the art or staring down men to the point where they would dare approach you

y’know, stare into their eyes with a disgusted look for long enough for them to grow just a little self conscious

there’s only one man it’s ever not worked on, but he’s your boyfriend now

sometimes wooyoung can be about as good reading the room as san is holding his liqueur - bad… with a capital B

but the issue tonight isn’t men, it’s women

more specifically, a group of girls standing just a couple of meters to your right

they’re pretty, you think to yourself, but the way they point and laugh warps your perception of them until all you see is a group of mean girls

mean isn’t pretty

you turn to look at the dazed man next to you

he seems to have taken an interest in the way the lights swing around the room, following them like a cat with a laser

“san,” you grab his attention, “can you see those girls over there?”

you point him in the direction of them with a tilt of your head, and his eyes follow slowly

he nods, stumbling a little as the movement makes him lose his balance

you catch him and push him against the wall so he doesn’t have to focus so hard on staying upright

“are they talking about me?” you ask, “they’re laughing at something in this direction but i don’t know if i’m being paranoid.”

san comically narrows his eyes at the girls, looking like they do in the cartoons, and you let out a small giggle

and then san nods

“they keep looking at you,” he clarifies, “one of them just took a photo, i think.”

your furrow your brows

“what?”

“yeah,” he angles his head so he can see the girl’s phone screen, “something about your back must be really interesting to them. they’re sending it someone on snapchat…”

the thought alone makes your heart freeze in place, and you immediately stop having fun

the smile on your face drops completely, and the weird little sidestep dance you always do at the club comes to a stand still

a drunk hand finds the top of your head - a little too hard, you must say, but you’d never tell san that - and gently tousles your hair

“they’re just jealous,” he slurs his words with a smile, and although they’re sincere you find it hard to believe

because they’re all standing there in their tight black t-shirts that accentuate their chest and baggy cargo pants that fall perfectly from their hips

and when you look down at yourself all you can see is your black corset that makes your tits look great, but sometimes reveals too much back fat for your liking, and your tiny black mini skirt that now you look at it, makes your tummy bulge over the top in a way that you hadn’t noticed until now

your distressed tights that you normally love now look messy under your critical gaze, and the knee high black socks that go under them just look weird

and all of that is without even mentioning your platform trainers that are chunkier than any other trainer you’ve ever seen, and add at least two inches onto your height

you look weird, you decide as you study yourself

“what’s got the prettiest girl in the club so down in the dumps?” you boyfriend asks loudly as he finally arrives back to your tiny group with his and your drinks in his hands

the laughter that comes from the group of girls punctuates his sentence cruelly, and you shrink into yourself more

you don’t particularly want to talk about it, but thankfully, with san in the state that he’s in, you don’t have to

“where’s my drink?” san pouts, ignoring wooyoung’s question completely

“i got you one like five minutes ago,” he didn’t, but san is too drunk to remember that, “look,” wooyoung points to an empty plastic cup on the floor, “you had a single vodka coke, remember?”

san is, somehow, satisfied with the lie and goes back to chilling against the wall with a dopey smile

wooyoung smiles fondly at his friend before turning to you with a more serious look

“now, back to you, baby,” he passes you a cup of pink liquid which you immediately start gulping down

it only takes a few seconds before wooyoung snatches it out of your hands with a frown

“okay, so that’s concerning,” he grumbles, “tell me what’s wrong.”

you shrug, but your eyes betray you

wooyoung must notice the way your eyes flicker over to the group for a few seconds and his gaze decides to follow yours

the girls are giggling, as usual, but this time you make eye contact with one of them

she looks you up and down before frowning and raising her hands in a ‘what have i done?’ motion

and then like clockwork, the frown cracks and they all start laughing again

you stare as the one that had looked you up and down moments prior uses her finger to instruct one of the others to do the same

you frown

“i wouldn’t normally say this, but they’re fucking bitches,” wooyoung whispers as he reaches a hand out to touch your shoulder, “do you want me to say something?”

you shake your head - it would be embarrassing for you if you sent your boyfriend to tell them off for you

even if they are acting like bullies in a playground…

“no, woo,” you shake your head and put on your bravest smile for him which you can tell he doesn’t believe, “just stay here with me, hm?”

he sighs and nods before shuffling the two of you around until his body is blocking yours from the group’s vision

but it doesn’t do much, not when you can still hear their laughter over the music

you try and let it go, but it’s all you can hear

the song could be anything in the world but you wouldn’t know

your mind is still racing and you can still hear them and you just can’t find it in you to have fun anymore

you look at your boyfriend, trying not to think too hard about the sympathetic look on his face

“actually, can we just go?”

you feel bad about your request, but you’d feel worse if you were to stay and ruin the atmosphere for the two guys who would otherwise be having a great time

wooyoung nods and puts a hand on san’s shoulder to pull him off of the wall

with one arm around his friend’s shoulder, he wraps the other around your waist and the three of you begin to walk

it’s slow, with san’s stumbling and the insane crowd of people, but before you know it, you’re almost out of there

but just as you reach the door, wooyoung stops

“shoot, i forgot to put the drinks down somewhere,” he unravels his arms and pushes the two of you over to a wall, “stay here, i’ll be back soon, alright?”

you nod and watch as he weaves his way through the crowd

you lose him within a few seconds, and decide to focus your attention on san instead

no doubt he’d be sleeping on your couch tonight, you giggle to yourself

it’s always an experience when he spends the night at yours; more often than not you wake up to him asleep on the floor of your room rather than the sofa you left him on

one time you’d even found him cuddled up to wooyoung in his sleep

you still have the photos on your phone as blackmail

the thought cheers you up a little

not much, but enough to bring a small smile to your face

a smile that quickly vanishes when wooyoung comes storming out of the room, a sheepish look on his face and a wet patch down his front

he grabs both of you and without wasting a second, drags you out of the door and onto the cold street

“what happened?” you ask as he hails a taxi

one pulls up and wooyoung quickly tells the driver your address before the three of you climb in

he sits next to you and takes your hand in his

“wooyoung, what happened?” you repeat

san gags as the car starts to move

you ignore it - san may not be able to handle drinking, but he’s not (yet) thrown up from it before - and keep your attention firmly on your boyfriend

he shrugs, “nothing much…”

you give him a look that lets him know you don’t believe him

he tried to wait it out, hoping you’ll let it go after a few seconds, but you don’t

“fine,” he concedes, “i spilt my drink on one of the girls, purely by accident, and she threw hers back…”

“wooyoung!” you slap his chest gently

he just chuckles and puts his hand over your own, pinning it to the sticky wet patch on his chest

“they deserved it, hun.”

[fun-k-board]

AAAA YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! :3333 could I maybe request CG Storm and CG Rogue? Maybe them and a little reader who’s a bit on the fussy/ tantrum-y side?

Thank you!!!!! ^^ (u probably know who this is but I’m too scared to come off anon 😭)

X-MEN '97 - Little reader who's fussy and tends to have tantrums

SFW INTERACTION ONLY!! AGE REGRESSION IS NOT A KINK!!

Note(s): HEHHE I KNOW!! It's alright tbh I'm terrified of coming off anon too (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

Powered through writing this because you're cool as hell and I like you! 💪 I don't and didn't really have the most idk 'attentive' family, so I'm not the best judge on how to take care of kids or people in a kids mindset, I may be a little bad at writing for caregivers and age regression in general because of this.

ANNA MARIE DARKHÖLME / ROGUE

'Hey, hey now sugah, let's calm down, you don't want to go in time out and I don't want to send ya. Explain to me why you don't like the food, I'm perfectly alright gettin' you somethin' different, there ain't no need to get upset.'

Anna can sometimes tell when you're about to have a tantrum or become more fussy than usual, even if you tend to take a while to throw a full fit, she'll watch you carefully and try to prevent one from fully forming. Gently kissing you on the forehead and brushing back your hair, asking what's wrong with a worried look on her face.

The moment you start yelling, kicking, or even crying, maybe after ignoring her question, she finds it hard not to just fold and give you what you want, after all, you're just so cute. However, her sense of responsibility and care for you overwhelms her need to coddle you.

Anna will say your name firmly, getting you to pay attention to her, and only her. She'll get a tissue for you and wipe your tears away, and ask firmly what you're sad or angry about and if you could possibly explain it to her.

If you can't verbally, for whatever reason, she'll give you the opportunity to write it on paper or she'll play a guessing game with you, the guessing game is only for when you're extremely upset and need cheering up though.

If you explain, in whatever format you need to, that you're upset because of an issue that's causing you distress, maybe food triggered sensory issues, someone was mean to you, etc, then she'll let you off the hook because you clearly didn't mean to cause any harm and you were just acting out.

Rogue will give you a bit of a talking to, telling you that crying and throwing things makes it difficult to help, but that's about it. Given it's not your fault she isn't actually too mad, she just wants you to understand that she won't know how to help if you're kicking and screaming.

If, however, your outburst was because of a silly reason, say you don't like the colour crayons and you throw them at her, she won't be as quick to accept it and move on.

She's still very sympathetic and won't ever raise her voice at you, even when you've done something especially terrible for no apparent reason.

Anna is very lenient and her 'punishments' usually just include a minute or so sitting in the corner, maybe withholding drawing from you for the day, but she always makes sure to explain in detail why you're being punished and it's usually only a last resort.

Rogue is very sweet even when she's being stern, her eyes can't help but go soft and her tone slips from that firm scolding one she uses when you're being bad, to a sweet almost coo-like baby voice.

Afterwards she comforts you like there's no tomorrow, telling you that she didn't want to hurt your feelings by taking away something or sending you to the corner, but you just need to learn some manners and how to handle yourself.

If you're fussy in terms of only liking clothes of a certain colour, food cut or made in a certain way, or things being done in a particular order, she absolutely doesn't mind doing these things for you! When it comes to cooking Rogue tends to ask for Gambit's help, she's not the worst cook in the world, but she can't do it like Remy can.

When it comes to removing parts of food, maybe you like to remove the crusts of bread and have them separate or not at all, she'll happily cut them off for you and maybe even eat the crusts while talking to you.

Sometimes she matches clothes with you! After all, 'If you like these clothes, they must be the best ones they got!' She says with a grin.

ORORO MUNROE / STORM

'My child, it's important to remember your manners when speaking to those around you. I am not angry, but you must tell me what is wrong if I am to correct my mistake or you are able to grow.'

The moment she notices you starting to throw a tantrum, which is fairly fast even if your signs are just a deep frown, asking you if everythings alright and most of the time avoiding any tantrums before they begin.

However, sometimes you refuse to tell her what's wrong, perhaps you go straight to throwing toys or food, pouting, yelling, in replying she will simply hold a gentle hand on your shoulder and kindly repeat her question on what the matter is. Her tone is gentle and her face is one of genuine concern.

Like Rogue, if you're in distress because of something that's not your fault, or maybe you're just overwhelmed, she will never hold it against you at all. If you're comfortable with it and it's something you need to calm down, Storm will pick you up and give you a tight hug, if not, she's alright with just holding a hand on your shoulder, or even removing her hand and only speaking to you.

Ororo will get on one knee, bending down to speak to you in a hushed whisper, she'll tell you that it's all okay, that she'll help you and make it better, give you different food, turn off the lights, whatever you need, she can give it to you.

However, if you're just being fussy to perhaps get a reaction out of her, she'll raise her brow in an almost amused action, as if she finds your attempts to be aggravating as cute as a cat nibbling on its owner's hand. If you're throwing a fit just to throw one, she will definitely tell you sternly that you cannot do such things, at least not in her care.

I don't think that Storm is the type to use the corner or naughty step as a punishment, after all, she has her own fear of tight, dark places, you may fear loneliness, or abandonment, she does not wish her own troubles onto a mind like yours.

Instead, she talks to you, more importantly, she'll help you figure out what you did wrong, how to improve next time, and reflect on her own actions to see if the trouble was caused by a mistake on her part. It won't be an in depth conversation, she tends to use stuffed animals as an aid to show you an outsiders perspective.

If you're struggling with saying your words out loud, never fear, she has tons of paper and crayons, or pencils, pen, markers, etc if that's what you prefer, just for you! She keeps them in her room for whenever you regress and want to keep near her when doing so.

Ororo will advise you to draw your feelings, maybe even write a letter if that's more what you're comfortable with. She doesn't mind bad spelling or handwriting, she's quite good at deciphering even the most atrociously unintelligible handwriting.

At most, and only if you've been really bad, she'll lead you to your room, or hers, just to make sure you don't get embarrassed and act out further. Storm will tell you what you did wrong as firmly as she can so that you'll understand. It's only a light scolding though, she never ever raises her voice when you're around unless you need or want her to.

If she ever does raise her voice and it startles or frightens you, she will apologise, regardless of if you've done something wrong or not. It's never her intention to harm you, you've entrusted her to care for you and she will do anything in her power to achieve that goal.

If your fussiness is about certain clothes, textures, toys, etc, she absolutely doesn't mind exclusively getting you certain clothes or toys, and she won't be angry at all if you throw a tantrum over texture or taste, because she's fully aware it can be distressing to have an unfavourable texture of clothing of food.

Ororo will always ask questions about something before she gets it for you, after a while she knows pretty much all of your likes and dislikes.

She's a great cook and can switch the taste or texture in something with just a flick of her wrist, something she doesn't mind doing, especially if the food she's already making is something that causes a lot of stress.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

The sun to me

Chapter VI. Caught.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader

word count: 7.3k

chapter summary: caught in each other's hearts, you rise like the tide, souls entwined and playing notes that only two people in love can discern.

warnings: alcohol, hyun and reader talk about mommy issues, vague descriptions of masturbation

~ Masterlist for the series

~ next part

❤️Red gardenia - a silent way of saying 'I love you'

Only a few days later, in the wee morning hours, Hyunjin stalks the empty streets once again.

His mind is blank as he still didn't wake up properly, his backpack weighing heavy on his shoulders and a big thermos cup containing his favorite bitter liquid held in his hand.

Only this time he's not planning to wander around the island alone, he's meeting up with Delmar, the somewhat mysterious man who had asked him to join him in his fishing adventures.

Delmar waits for him on the pier where Hyunjin had met him for the first time, his figure once again manifesting itself in front of Hyunjin's eyes.

"Hey, boy!"- Delmar laughs, way too chipper this early in the morning.

"Morning."- Hyunjin's voice is groggy and Delmar let's out another laugh.

"Rough night?"- he asks, his hand coming down on Hyunjin's shoulder, smacking him in a friendly manner.

"It was fine, I just haven't had my morning coffee yet."- Hyunjin answers, blinking fast.

"Don't be a slave to such addictions."- Delmar grips the rope that keeps his little boat on the berth. He pulls the boat closer to the shore and nods at Hyunjin who still didn't process the sentence the man had uttered.

"Get in."- he says, with another wide smile.

Hyunjin somewhat clumsily jumps, his feet landing on the prow and he almost slips, barely catching himself as he flails his arms, making Delmar laugh again.

After he joins him, it doesn't take long for them to take off, Delmar sitting at the edge, manouvering the little fishing boat that barely fits the two men.

Hyunjin is a little too aware of how small the boat is and how they're getting further and further away from the shore, only the darkened sea in sight, as the sun still hasn't come out of it's sleep yet.

It's a bit eerie but for some reason it calms Hyunjin down at the same time, just like when one floats on water, unaware of what's deep beneath as they lay peacefully on the surface, only the sky above.

The wind that the movement of the boat creates is what refreshes Hyunjin, making him feel more awake and new as he manages to take a few sips of his coffee.

The boat slows down near a cove, and Delmar stops it, anchoring it in place. The motor sounds are finally silenced and the quietness of the early morning falls upon them.

"Alright, this is the perfect spot. Let's get to it." - Delmar pulls out two fishing rods, prepping his first as Hyunjin observes.

"Me and Isaac go fishing sometimes. I have to come and get him in his little castle and pull him out of that studio. He's always in there."- Delmar shakes his head disapprovingly, and Hyunjin lets out a little chuckle.

"He is always in there, but these last few days I've been joining him."

"Oh yeah, you're also some kind of artist, right?"- Delmar says and Hyunjin doesn't know if it's mocking or he's being serious.

"Yeah, I paint."

"Well, let me show you the art of fishing then, my friend."- Delmar lets out another laugh as he prepares the second rod, giving it to Hyunjin.

"Sounds good."- Hyunjin nods, after a few more sips of coffee and the first sun rays peeking out, he feels more energized and ready for the adventure ahead.

The scenery around him is nothing short of beautiful and he wishes he could capture it with his camera, but he didn't want to bring it to the boat in risk of it falling into the sea and disappearing forever.

Delmar takes out some live lures and Hyunjin makes a disgusted face for a second, making Delmar laugh for the nth time in the misty dawn.

"Hopefully your clothes are not too expensive, art boy."- he teases Hyunjin and he shakes his head.

"It's fine, it doesn't matter."

"Hope you have enough patience too, cause that's the most important thing you need when you fish."

"I like to think I do."- Hyunjin remembers all the times he sat and painted for hours and hours, just to hate the painting he'd created, throw it aside and start all over again.

The fishing rods with lures get lowered into the water and a comfortable silence settles between the two men.

"How did you decide to come to this island? I mean, it's not exactly big or famous and there's not much to see really."- Delmar breaks the silence after some time.

"Exactly."- Hyunjin rasps, clearing his throat.

"Oh. So you're hiding from someone?"- Delmar chuckles. "On the run from the police or something?"

Hyunjin snorts, Delmar must be watching lots of crime thrillers in his free time or reading those sorts of books.

"Just trying to ground myself and find my inspiration through simple things like this."- Hyunjin answers.

"This is a good place for inspiration. Might not have much but what little it contains, it can be very inspirational, more than your big city."

Hyunjin lets out a quiet laugh.

"The city is anything but inspiring."

"That's why I stayed here my whole life."- Delmar says. "I love it here! I have my little house and my little boat and my fishes! What else do I need? Nothing."- he finishes with a big smile.

"I wish I had that."

"What, nothing?"- Delmar jokes and Hyunjin rolls his eyes at the funny man.

Silence envelops the two men again before Hyunjin's rod gets tugged on. He panics for a moment but Delmar jumps in, letting out an excited sound as he helps Hyunjin reel the fish in.

"That's a good catch!"- he exclaims and Hyunjin feels so proud of something so simple, his heart full as the early sun warms up his cheeks.

Hyunjin has never felt this calm as the last few days, his soul slowly healing under the influence of the beautiful island and the good people surrounding him.

He can't wait to come visit your flower shop later.

You're working on a bouquet for Catherine and Bennet as their marriage anniversary is coming up soon, just as you hear footsteps approaching your little shop.

"Morning!"- you hear a gentle but excited voice that gets your heart jumping in your chest.

You whip around quickly, your skirt flowing around you, a flower still in your hand as your eyes fall on none other than Hyunjin.

The sight of him has you swallowing saliva that gathered in your mouth.

He put his hair up in a little ponytail and he's just wearing a simple white shirt and jeans but he makes them look so good, the jewelry around his neck and fingers is exquisite but tasteful. What makes him look even more irresistible is the wide smile on his face, the one that reveals his dimples and crinkles the skin around his shining eyes.

"Morning."- you let out a breath as you smile at him.

"That's pretty."- he lifts his hand up, pointing at you with a long slender finger and a wave of electricity runs through your body.

"W-what?"- you're confused for a second, your face burning in embarassment.

"The bouquet your making."- he smiles, his own cheeks rosy.

"Oh... That. Yeah, it's for Catherine and Bennet. Their wedding anniversary is in a few days so I'm just making a few different bouquets so Bennet can choose one to bring to her."- you explain as you turn back towards the flowers.

"Ah, that's really sweet."- a brief picture of Hyunjin giving you flowers like that for your anniversary, one that didn't even happen; runs through his mind and he has to shake the thoughts off before he gets too lost in them.

"It really is. They're so sweet together, still in love after being together for some time. The flowers are red gardenias. They had them as decoration on their wedding day, and they symbolize love. Lots of couples use them for their wedding day. You know the Chinese actually used to put them in love potions?"- you talk, not noticing how Hyunjin came closer to you, peering behind your shoulder, his eyes softened as he looks at your gentle hands and nimble fingers working so calmly with the delicate flowers.

"Hm, really? I hope it worked for them."- Hyunjin's voice rings right behind your ear, making you jump a little as the bouquet almost falls out of your hands but Hyunjin is quick as he wraps his arms around you and grips your hands and the bouquet.

The temperature in the room seems to reach it's peak as you gasp a little, your heart literally beating out of your chest both from your hard work almost disintegrating and from the way Hyunjin is pressed behind you, his soft hands on yours.

"T-thanks, I got it."- you say nervously but he seems to linger just for a moment, the tip of his nose barely grazing your hair as he takes a whiff of your sweet shampoo.

Lightning bolts run through his body as his mind almost becomes too clouded to think as result of being this close to you and feeling your warmth.

"Good morning!"- a happy voice calls out and the speed with which the both of you jolt away from each other should be studied by scientists.

"Barbara! Good morning!"- you answer, somewhat breathless. It must be 9am now.

"Oh, hello there. Aren't you just such a handsome young man?"- Barbara almost swoons at the sight of Hyunjin who also looks out of breath, his face flushed, the redness spreading all the way to his neck.

Hyunjin chuckles awkwardly as you place the luckily salvaged bouquet at the side.

"This is Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Barbara."- you say.

"Oh, you're the painter staying at Isaac's house? Oh how wonderful! Welcome to our little island."- Barbara shakes Hyunjin's hand a little too violently as you stifle a laugh at his desperate face.

"Thank you."- he says politely when she finally lets go of him.

"What's it gonna be today, Barbs?"- you ask.

"Oh, I just adored the zinnias you put together last time. And Whiskers particularly liked them so I would love for you to-"

"Make another one? No problem."- you smile at her and get to work immediately, ignoring the big question mark above Hyunjin's head.

"So, how are you managing here? Is Isaac treating you well?"- Barbara asks Hyunjin.

"Of course, he's taking great care of me."- he nods.

"What about our y/n here, she's quite the catch, don't you think?"- Barbara nudges his arm, winking at him and nodding at you.

Hyunjin panics, his lips opening and closing as you chuckle, looking up from the flowers before you.

"I'm right here, you know?"- you shake your head with a small smirk on your face.

Hyunjin looks absolutely embarassed and you feel for him, your own heart beating fast in your chest but you're trying to look calm and collected on the outside.

"What? I'm just saying, you're both young and... single?"- she looks at Hyunjin who nods just as you look up. "Why not make the best of it while you have time?"

Hyunjin went to answer but Barbara kept talking.

"Ah, I wish I had more time with my Albert. But he's gone in the clouds and there's nothing I can do about it. I do have my cats though. I know they love me."- she nods to herself as if to bring herself some comfort.

"They do."- you smile, giving her the finished bouquet. "It's on the house."

"Y/n, you are such a darling, you know that?"- Barbara smiles happily before winking at Hyunjin.

"Ah, it's nothing."- you wave your hand as she makes her way out.

"See you later, my little lovebirds!"- she chirps before walking out of the shop.

"Don't mind her."- you notice Hyunjin's flushed face and contemplative look.

"Right."- he purses his lips before giving you a small, shy smile that makes your stomach do flips.

"Hey, so what are you doing in the evening?"- Hyunjin asks, breaking the quiet moment and your heart skips a beat again.

"Not much. Why?"- you ask, getting back to your previous bouquet just to busy your hands and eyes with something else.

"I was thinking that you could show me more of the island."- Hyunjin says, biting on his lip nervously and your eyes get stuck there.

"I would love to, but the places I want to show you are not that welcoming during the night. But we can take a walk on a beach nearby if you're up for that?"- you suggest.

"Oh, that sounds great. I'll meet you back here around 7?"- he asks and you nod.

"Alright, sounds good."- you smile. "Are you leaving?"

"I mean, I don't wanna be a bother while you work."- he smiles awkwardly.

"You're not. Look around, there's no customers, only flowers."- you chuckle, gesturing with your hands theatrically and Hyunjin laughs, taking a deep breath in after that, the smell of all the flowers mixing together and getting him somewhat lightheaded.

"Can I help you somehow?"- he asks.

"You don't have to. You can just sit and..."- your eyes fall to his backpack. "Maybe sketch if you want?"

"I could do that."- Hyunjin stares wistfully at the sketchbook poking out of the bag. "I do need some coffee first. You?"

"Sure, you can get some for us at Bennet's restaurant."- you say.

Hyunjin grabs his wallet and leaves, coming back just in time as you finish the bouquet.

"Thanks."- you say as he hands you the coffee and you bring him out a chair.

"I can never have enough coffee and I think this is my fourth cup this morning?"- Hyunjin tilts his head with a confused look on his face before he sits down.

"I don't think your intestines will be too happy about that."- you chuckle and he giggles embarassingly. "But who am I to talk? I'm also crazy for coffee."

"I actually woke up pretty early this morning, at 4am."- Hyunjin starts.

"Oh?"- you encourage him to keep talking as you start preparing the second bouquet.

"Yes, I went fishing with Delmar."

"You did?"- you smile. "How was it?"

"Oddly calming."- Hyunjin squints, playing with the pages of his sketchbook absentmindedly.

"Delmar has that effect. He seems boisterous but he's a relaxed man. Plus, being on the sea in the crack of dawn must be really relaxing."

"It was, my mind was blank. I was just enjoying the moment, and I don't really get a lot of chances to just be in the moment like that in my daily life."- Hyunjin sighs.

"Really? You must be very famous."- you chuckle a little, arranging the flowers.

"Nah."- Hyunjin shakes his head and finally opens his sketchbook, propping it on his thigh that's propped up on his other leg. He looks around as you let out a snicker.

"I kinda don't believe that."- you say, as Hyunjin presses his hand on the page.

"You're kinda famous too, though. At least here on the island. You're the only florist here."- he makes a point as you work away and hear the scratches of his pen on the paper.

"I guess I am."- you chuckle. "So, did the two of you catch anything?"

"Oh, we sure did! He brought some to the restaurant and some for himself and then for Isaac. So, I think I caught my own lunch."- Hyunjin lets out a laugh.

"It's gonna be even more delicious, trust me."- you smile and you fall into small talk, you putting on some gentle music in the background to keep the atmosphere sweet and light.

The small talk eventually turns into comfortable silence as you work on the bouquets and Hyunjin works on his sketch.

Both of you are as calm as can be, lost in your own imagination but aware of each other's presence, instilling some kind of comfort into one another's soul.

The quiet acoustic music adds new notes to the already intoxicating smell of the flowers, bringing a trance-like state to the pair of you.

Hyunjin doesn't even realize it but his heart is guiding his hand for the first time in what feels like an eternity, amidst the shapes of the flowers his pen finds the shape of you.

You finish up the last bouquet and look at Hyunjin, your heart stirring awake again at the sight of his brows furrowed, his lips parted, his hair is now down as he runs a hand through it.

He tilts his head left and right as he stares at his sketchbook adding lines seemingly at random, but it makes perfect sense as every single dot creates a full picture that says more than a thousand words.

He must've felt your eyes on him as he looks directly at you, catching you staring at him.

"Are you done with your arrangments?"- he asks and you nod.

"I think I'm done too."- he smiles proudly, still somewhat timid at the same time as he brings the sketchbook closer to his face.

"Can I see?"- you ask and he quickly nods, his hands shaking a little as he reaches the sketchbook towards you.

Your hands accept the somewhat heavy book and as your eyes adjust, you gasp.

"Is that- is that me?"- you ask, your throat dry suddenly.

"Yeah. You and all your flowers."- Hyunjin smiles fondly but you can't look up from the sketch.

"It's beautiful."- you say, mesmerized.

You're beautiful. He wants to say, but the words die on his tongue and he swallows them.

"It is."- he says and you look at him, your legs suddenly feel like they're made out of jelly.

"Can I have a look through?"- you ask and Hyunjin stands up.

"Sure, there's not much there though. As you know, I'm experiencing a little art block right now."- he scratches the back of his head as he stands next to you, the warmth from his body heating you up to your very core.

"That's okay."- you flip the pages to the beginning.

As you look through, all the unfinished sketches that Hyunjin has abandoned and hated, surfacing out and reflecting in your eyes, bring out his vunerability out in the open, letting you have it and do with it as you wish.

The numb pain that suffocated him in the city, pricks at his heart like little invisible needles as you silently study the unfinished buildings, faces and views. The severed hands reaching out for your throat and huge laughing mouths with teeth so big that lurk in the dark with the intent to swallow you whole.

At last, you come to the wave, the one smudged with Hyunjin's pain in liquid form and you turn the page slowly to see the sketch of you he just finished.

"Not exactly what you expected, huh?"- Hyunjin asks as you bite on your lip and stare at the drawing.

"It's really gloomy, most of the time."- you say quietly before you look up at Hyunjin.

Time seems to be frozen in one frame as his face is close to yours and you can count all the unfallen tears in his eyes and hear every gentle breath he takes in.

Hyunjin becomes entranced by your beauty and the way you look at him, like you actually see him, like you actually know him, like your eyes are somehow magical, connecting your heart to them and pouring out into his own heart, seeing the tip of the ugly inside him and still not turning away.

His hand reaches up and your breath gets stuck in your throat as Hyunjin touches your hair delicately.

"There was a petal in your hair."- he whispers, holding onto it and showing you the red petal of the gardenias you worked with just a few moments earlier.

"Oh, thanks."- you chuckle, leaning away a little as you come back to reality.

You clear your throat and hand him back his sketchbook and Hyunjin still looks somewhat hypnotized.

"Well, it's almost my lunch time. Do you want to join me?"- you ask and that seems to break his trance.

"Um, Isaac asked me to have lunch with him. But, let's have a raincheck on lunch, and I'll uh- see you tonight?"- Hyunjin is somewhat panicked as he hurries to his backpack to put his sketchbook away.

"Yeah, see you. Have a good lunch!"- you stand on your tippytoes as he suddenly slings his backpack on his shoulders.

"You too!"- he calls with a smile before hurrying out of your shop, leaving you confused with a mix of feelings and his smell enveloping you in a hug, even more prominent than all the flowers surrounding you.

What was that?

What was that?

Hyunjin can't wrap his mind around the overwhelming feeling blossoming inside him.

When was the last time he felt like that, when just one look from you could make him crumble and crawl at your feet?

It's dangerous waters he's dipping his toes in but he can't help but want to emerge his entire being into the wild stream and let it take him wherever it wants as long as he gets to hold onto your hand the whole time.

The urge to kiss you when you looked deep into his eyes, staring right into his wounded soul was almost too hard to tame. His eyes flutter like delicate wings of a butterfly and his lips purse involuntarily as he imagines pressing them into yours, drinking you in like you're the very water that quenches his deep-seated thirst.

You may not have put your kind hand in his, but your loving nature touched him, played some kind of intricate song inside his heart and Hyunjin knows it's too late to even try and back out.

The seed was becoming a sprout and now it needed the sun's warmth and the freshness of water to nurture it into a full blossom.

Hyunjin opens the door to Isaac's house only to be greeted by loud laughter coming from the dining room. He leaves his backpack next to one of the shelves in the hall and follows the sound.

"Oh, here's my helper!"- Delmar turns to look at Hyunjin with a wide smile, a glass of red wine in his hand.

"Come join us, Hyunjin. You came just in time! I prepared the fish for lunch."- Isaac beckons him quickly.

Both of the men's cheeks are rosy indicating they've been enjoying the red liquid for some time already.

Hyunjin joins them, and as soon as his butt touches the chair, Delmar pours some wine in his glass.

"Drink up!"- he chuckles and the three men clink their glasses.

The meal is filled with laughter and stories from the older men's younger days and Hyunjin feels a pleasant buzz in his body from the wine, his mind constantly running back to you.

Hyunjin's glass is never empty even when he drinks the last drop, the space gets filled with more. The men have now started singing and talking nonsensical things, so Hyunjin excuses himself, getting up on wobbly feet as the alcohol rushes through his bloodstream.

Delmar protests but Isaac calms him down.

"Let the boy go. He's got plans."- Isaac looks at Hyunjin pointedly and Hyunjin hiccups as his face gets incredibly warmer.

"Hope those plans involve a pretty lady."- Delmar wears somewhat of a sleazy smile making Isaac scold him.

He must get like that when he's drunk and Isaac shuts him up before he can say anything else.

Hyunjin grabs his backpack and makes his way upstairs, feeling a bit disoriented as the wooden sculptures scrutinize him and observe his drunken stumbling.

He walks into his room, closing the door and weariness washes over him, making him topple over and fall on his bed face first, a grunt leaving his lips, muffled by the covers.

Hyunjin turns on his side and falls asleep instantly.

His dreams are a whirlwind of moving pictures, the red smiling faces of Delmar and Isaac, your kind eyes and soft hands, his mother's cold ones squeezing his heart until the last drop of blood has seeped between her knuckles. His canvases, splashed with color turning into thick blood that slowly drips down onto his expensive shoes.

Nothing makes sense anymore, unless it's filled with you.

Hyunjin awakes with a start, finding that he has an ache in his neck and that he's covered in sweat after the alcohol-inducing turmoil of dreams that have tortured him. His eyes adjust on the clock sitting on his nightstand and he gasps, lifting up in panic.

It's already 6:20pm and he feels like he's been run over by ten trucks. He gets up quickly, peeling his sticky clothes away, feeling gross as he hops in the shower, the cool water calming down his simmering skin.

Hyunjin's eyes are closed as he stands under the water, snippets of his tortured dreams playing behind his eyelids.

He hasn't called his mother in months. Maybe he should do that one of these days. Just not today, not when you've made his day beautiful, brought back a piece of his soul with just your existence. He doesn't want to be ripped to pieces again, his mother's cold voice piercing through his skin like a knife that twists and turns until he becomes numb to the pain it inflicts.

Shivers settle in his body, all the way to his bones and he turns the water up to a warmer temperature, closing his eyes once again and thinking of you.

You, surrounded by all the delicate flowers, you who is so strong but gentle and loving like a summer breeze caressing the landscape and swaying the grass like you're making it dance.

You, who are making his heart dance too after he thought it withered and shriveled up, dying between the cold concrete, buried somewhere to be forgotten.

No, it is not forgotten or buried, it is resting in your hands that are warming it up and watering it with the kindness that's undoubtedly running through your very being like you were made from nothing but pure love.

Hyunjin craves you, craves to be close to you but he thinks he doesn't know how.

Maybe it's because he's coming down from the alcohol, maybe it's because of his mother's bitterness or maybe it's because you actually see him, but he lets his hot tears mix with the droplets of water sliding down his cheeks to be taken away by the drain.

He'll be okay. He'll be okay. He'll be okay.

Standing in front of your flower shop, you're jumping from foot to foot in excitement.

You've spent the afternoon in a kind of haze, like you were walking on clouds the whole time, your heart full of Hyunjin.

You couldn't stop thinking about him, and you didn't want to, with him everything felt right.

The way he looked at you and smiled at you, the closeness of his face to yours poured a comforting feeling all over your body and soul, making you wish you could fall into him deep and let him catch you and hold you until the end of time.

Any other man who held you close, whose hands touched your skin, whose lips kissed yours, none of them had been inside you the way Hyunjin is, not even if they were physically inside you, it all meant nothing next to Hyunjin's presence embracing your heart.

He's five minutes late and you see him rushing towards you like a hurricane coming down at you, his legs taking long strides as his cardigan flails behind him like a magic cape, his hair wilding around his smiling face.

"I am so sorry for being late!"- he says as soon as he's within earshot.

"It's okay, it's only five minutes."- you chuckle and he tries to open his mouth just to cough and you let out another giggle. "Take a few deep breaths."

He does so, opening the water bottle in his hand and taking a few much needed gulps.

"You didn't have to run like that."- you said.

"I didn't wanna make you wait."- he smiles apologetically.

"I don't really have anywhere else to be."- you snicker and he laughs a little.

"So you're just hanging out with me to kill some time?"- he asks as you start walking.

"Something of that sort."- you tease.

"Ouch."- Hyunjin shakes his head, his hand splayed dramatically over his heart.

He knows you're only joking with the smile you give to him, and the two of you walk closer than you did before, your shoulders brushing a few times as you make your way to the beach, electric shockwaves running through your bodies.

"So... I got a little drunk in the afternoon."- Hyunjin pouts comically and you burst into laughter.

"Let me guess. Delmar and Isaac."

"How'd you know?"- he asks and you giggle.

"I've kinda been living here my whole life."- you joke. "They're always like that when they get together."

"Good to know but, I mean, you could've warned me before."- Hyunjin teases.

"Eh, even if I did warn you, they'd find a way to rope you into their shenanigans."- you shake your head as the gravel crunches beneath your feet again, noisy in the otherwise quiet evening.

"I believe that."- Hyunjin chuckles. "Also, they got even more shitfaced than me. It was horrible!"

You laugh, your shoulder bumping against Hyunjin's again and he shivers.

"I fell asleep after, that's why I was late."- Hyunjin excuses himself, not mentioning how hard it was to stop the tears flowing once they'd been released.

"It's okay, I really don't mind. You woke up at 4am anyways, I guess you needed sleep."

"You're right."- Hyunjin nods as you finally make it to the beach.

"Wanna sit over there?"- you ask, pointing at some rocks near the water.

"Sure."- he nods.

The sun is almost swallowed by the sea now, the first stars making themselves visible on the slowly darkening sky.

Hyunjin stares up as the two of you sit down on a towel you brought.

"That's Venus."

"The planet?"- Hyunjin stares at the shining dot.

"Mhm. It's visible during this time of the day."

"How do you recognize it?"

"Planets don't flicker when air passes by them. Stars do. And they're usually bigger and brighter. Plus if you observe the sky a little too much, you will learn the movements and placements."- you look down from the shiny planet to find Hyunjin looking at you now.

"Do you?"- he asks, his eyes flicking to your lips.

"Do I what?"

"Observe the sky a little too much?"- he chuckles and your face warms up a little as you giggle embarassingly.

"Only sometimes. It's just a mindblowing fact that were actually looking at the past."- you say, turning away to see the sun has settled down, the sky becoming more darkened, pulling the blanket of stars further over itself.

"I heard about that. But I don't understand how it works."- Hyunjin admits, a sheepish smile on his face as you look at him.

"Because of the speed of light. For example, the star Sirius is some 8.6 light years away. That means the light from it that's hitting us tonight has been traveling for 8.6 years."- you explain and Hyunjin gasps a little.

"So we're looking at something that has happened 8.6 years before?"- he asks, pursing his lips as he looks up, his brows furrowed.

"Mhm. And the further the star is, the effect gets bigger. Like there are stars that are millions and millions light years away. They may even not exist anymore but the time it took the light to travel to our eyes makes it seem like it's still there in the sky now."

"That's insane!"

"It is."- you chuckle at Hyunjin's flabbergasted expression.

"You're really smart."- he smiles at you.

"Nah, I just have a lot of time on my hands."- you say and he shakes his head.

"I know other people who also have lots of time but they waste it on dumb shit so you are definitely smart."- he nods and you laugh.

"Alright, if you insist."- you say and he laughs, only then making you notice how close he is to you, your knees brushing against each other's.

"What's that one?"- Hyunjin points to something in the sky and you lean closer to look at the direction.

"The three stars?"- you ask and he nods. "Orion's belt. Look."- you slowly trace it with your finger in the air and Hyunjin follows with his eyes.

"It's a constellation."- you say.

"Wow, why does it look like there are actual lines between the stars?"- Hyunjin asks.

"I guess we like patterns, so much so that we tend to create them even where they don't really exist. We need to pinpoint the meaning of things that surround us."- you gesture with your hands.

"I guess that's true. Don't you think there's some kind of pattern to it all though?"- Hyunjin asks.

"Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Like there are moments of synchronicity that really make me think that there are some big hands up there, rearranging everything to fall perfectly into place. But then some other times, I just think life is random and the universe doesn't care about us, it's just chaos that we're trying to make sense of for the sake of our own sanity."- you explain.

"Don't you think us sitting here together has some deeper meaning?"- Hyunjin asks and you look at him.

"Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things though, as long as it has meaning to us."- you smile and he returns the smile, thousands of stars reflecting in his brown eyes.

"I like that. It doesn't have to be some great design, just something we make out of it."

"Sometimes it's better not to question those things and think too deeply into it because it can drive you crazy."- you say.

"I agree with that. Overthinking about anything drives you crazy anyways. That's why I try to put all those swirling thoughts out on blank canvases. Or well, I used to do that, now I just feel a bit lost."- Hyunjin sighs as he looks at his lap, his fingers picking at a loose thread off his jeans.

"It's okay to be lost sometimes. It can actually be good, I think. It helps you find something new and maybe something even better than what you had before."- you observe the way his hair falls around his face, framing him like the most beautiful painting on a wall of some prestigious museum.

"True, I guess I became too rigid about everything and detached from myself. I'm slowly coming back to me, being here. Away from all the shit in the city."

"What is so bad there that's got you this lost?"- you ask and Hyunjin freezes a little.

"You're gonna think I'm a horrible person if I tell you."- Hyunjin doesn't look up at you.

"I doubt that. Really, I won't judge."- you say and your gentle voice soothes Hyunjin's scared heart.

What if you hate him after he says it all out loud? Could he lie to you and tell you some other story, one that doesn't belong to him? No, he could never lie to you, tarnish whatever it is that's entwined between you now.

"Well. If I'm honest with myself in this moment, I became a sell-out."- he snorts sarcastically. "I used to paint for the love of art, but now it's just for money. My manager pushes me a lot. I even opened up my own gallery with his help, where I host shows of my own and of course help other artists with their exhibitions. I always wanted that, you know, to do what I love and actually make money from it. But it just doesn't feel like me anymore? You know that saying, be careful what you wish for?"- he looks up at you and you nod carefully.

"Well, I got exactly what I wanted. My name in lights, my paintings on the walls, and all the expensive shit I could ever afford. It's just that, at the end of the day I'm lonely and indifferent to the world around me. It feels like I'm a shadow of who I used to be, just an empty shell going in a fucking circle."- Hyunjin lifts his arms up in frustration, before letting them fall in his lap again.

"And I have to do some things I'm not proud of."

"Like?"- you say quietly and he looks at you.

"You know what exclusive rich people parties include?"- he asks and you nod slowly.

"Drugs?"- you ask and he sighs.

"Sadly, yes."

"Can't you just say no?"- you tilt your head at him.

"Ha! My manager would eat me alive if I missed any chance to have some sleazy rich fucker buy my shit."- Hyunjin shakes his head.

"I know I sound like a spoiled rich guy and that is exactly what I despise. I never wanted to become this, you know."

"Hey, it's okay."- you smile a little. "We all have our burdens. If it's any consolation, I feel lonely too. The only time I'm not lonely is when I'm in my garden, cause the flowers are alive and they're there for me. I know it sounds crazy because they don't understand me and they can't talk back to me but I feel like they can still listen for some reason. Since my mom died, I never had anyone that close to me, well, I was kind of lonely next to her too. She'd spend more time in her garden than with me. I hated her a little for that."

"I hate my mother a little too."- Hyunjin had never said it out loud and he almost gasps at the slip up. "No, I hate her a lot."- he bites his lip, it's out now.

"How so? If you want to share."

"She never loved me. She only loved her paintings and she wanted me to be absolutely perfect. Sometimes she'd make me paint for hours and hours until my hands were cramping and she didn't care if I cried so I stopped that and never cried before her again. She wanted me to go to the most prestigious academy, the one she attended too, to become some acclaimed painter. She scrutinized every single detail, not just in my paintings, but me in general and one time I talked back to her. Oh, she didn't like that at all. I cursed her out and she slapped me across the face and called me an ungrateful bastard. So, I sat and painted even with my head throbbing with pain. So, ugh, I have a love-hate relationship with what I do. I'd love to just paint for my soul, not for other people. Also, I am sorry for trauma dumping."- Hyunjin feels embarassed as he looks at you but you are still there, gentle as ever, your eyes kind as you scoot closer to him.

"It's okay, we're both kinda doing that tonight."- you chuckle quietly. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that, it's horrible to not have your mother's warmth while growing up, I can kinda relate to that. My mother was a little more present than yours, but ultimately she was living for her flowers. She screamed at me when she was sick, telling me to go take care of her garden and not let her flowers die, she threatened to crawl into the garden herself and do it even if she died right next to them. She was hard to take care of when she fell sick. I know this is horrible to say, but I couldn't wait for her to die. She'd be in peace, I'd be in peace. Like I had to leave my whole life in the city to move back here and take care of her. And she was difficult on purpose."

"I'm sorry y/n. That really must've felt horrible."- Hyunjin looks at you sympathetically.

"Glad it's over now. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm becoming her."

"You're definitely not."- Hyunjin says quickly.

"How do you know?"- you tilt your head at him.

"You're too warm and kind to be cold to people around you."- he smiles, making your cheeks warm up.

"Oh. Thank you?"- you say and he chuckles.

"Look at us, getting closer through our mommy issues."- Hyunjin shakes his head and you laugh, shivering a little.

"Are you cold?"- Hyunjin notices and you nod.

"A little. Forgot my jacket."- you say.

Hyunjin doesn't say anything, just takes his cardigan off and gently drapes it over your shoulders.

"Aren't you gonna be cold?"- you ask, your heart beating fast as you put your arms through the sleeves, enveloping yourself in Hyunjin's scent and warmth.

"No, I'm warmed up."- he smiles at you sweetly, his cheeks rosy.

"So, how long are you planning on staying here?"- you ask, looking up ahead as the darkness had settled in, making it hard to discern where the sky starts and the sea ends.

"I don't know yet. Honestly, I never want to leave."- Hyunjin says and you chuckle a little.

"I guess the charm of our little island has gotten to you."- you wiggle your eyebrows at him and he giggles.

"It definitely did."- his eyes are on your lips again, and your chest constricts at the thought of Hyunjin going back to the city and leaving you behind.

"That's good to hear. You're welcome to stay here and become a permanent resident."- you smile and he thanks you dramatically before the two of you fall into more light topics of favorite movies and music, just to lift up the heaviness from before.

It is well after midnight as Hyunjin walks you home, insisting that you keep the cardigan and return it to him some other day.

And as he walks back to Isaac's house, the black clouds gather more closely.

Hyunjin lays in bed that night, restless and inspired, excited and aroused, in love and out of his mind. Grabbing his sketchbook he works tirelessly into the wee morning hours, drawing shapes of you into the pages, shapes that are already etched into his heart. The hand that was holding his pen, eventually ends up between his legs, as he imagines the two of you shaped like a tide, waves crashing on the rocks in fervor, sweat dripping down his forehead as he clutches himself and moves faster. He wants you, needs you, loves you. And he realizes that when your name spills from his lips just as he spills on his hand, hips stuttering from the explosive feeling it brought to him.

You are restless too, clutching onto his cardigan, giddy like some teenage girl with a high school crush, and you dare to dream about him, your mind constantly going back to the brushes of knees and eyes on lips. Your fingers dance on your skin, imagining it's Hyunjin's, hot and wet on your core and inside you as you inhale his scent.

As the white explodes behind your eyelids, a fire burns within your soul, the warm sea gushing between your legs, fireworks sizzling through your body, your mind screams his name.

Hyunjin. Hyunjin. Hyunjin.

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger @lixies-favorite-cookie @linavc @quokkacidal @thisaintredwine @m00gyu @yaorzu-blog @skzfelixlove @tajannah-price1 @puccaaak @aft2rsexs @xxkissesforchanniexx @aprilmaejune77 @lilmeowneow @stayjinnie @astrobebba @danihwang882 @kaysungshine @nchhuhi @1810cl @chartrucewhore @babigriin @jisuperboard @alisonyus @minluvly @instantsoulnight @kkamismom12 @its-stayville-forever @s3ungm1nxxl0ve

[mynameisjag]

Quick Prompt: Wanting What Someone Else Has.

Scott finds out about the new Logan, Wade doesn't care about Scott's problems. Logan isn't even aware.

Wade stared at Scott.

Scott stared at Wade.

At least the mercenary assumed he was, kind of hard to tell, you know…with the glasses…

He’d give him a point for managing to get the drop on him though, showed up late enough not to be any help, early enough were they hadn’t left the mark's disgustingly beige mansion.

It looked better with the splashes of red everywhere.

Even the boring ass, uncomfortable lounges that they were sitting on, looked better with the splatter.

Cyclops was sitting on the less messy one, so maybe he didn’t agree or he just choose that one because then they could just sit and stare at each other face to face.

“Where’s Logan?”

“Better question, how are you alive? This better not be some multiverse MCU bullshit.”

Logan was probably eating his fill in the kitchen, the owners pervert party was catered and why leave and get underwhelming fast food when there was free rich fucks food that was going to go to waste anyway.

Lo had talked about his…hunting trips…sometimes, always on the move, always going from target to target, that at one point it was just sensible to eat what was there, rest, take what was need and move on. Considering how most of the fucks he went after were people of high importance, government jobs or just rich assholes, their was always alcohol, fancy foods, and wallets that no one noticed was gone till it was too late.

So this current hit was just another day for the feral.

Scott’s Logan was more man then his, could easily be mistaken for just another human without powers.

Wade’s though, his had lost himself to the calling of his inner animal and became it as he hunted those that had hurt his family. Body changing to its new needs, becoming the human predator he needed to be.

Logan hated it, hated what his body became, his behavior, his instincts, everything that changed, he hated it all. He spent so long trying to fit the profile others had tried to shove him into that losing himself to what was himself was a failure in his eyes. A shameful failure.

It wasn’t true of course and they were working on that, both supporting each other because they both were so fucked up but at least they were fucked up together.

Wade talked to the air and the millions of eyes that watched them, Logan would snarl and make more animal sounds then use his voice at times.

The merc highly doubted the X-men, at least this version, were going to be able to handle his Wolverine.

“There’s no dog for you to collar here, laser pointer, so why don’t you make your way back to whoever else has found the well of life in that mansion and fuck off.”

Seemed like he might have hit a nerve as that frown somehow got deeper, “I’m here for my friend.”

“You’re a good couple of states away from your Wolverine’s grave, can get you an Uber there if your that directionally challenged.”

“We know he is here, with you-“

“-Nope! Again, you have eye issues not hearing, your-hear that strain on that-your Logan is dead.” Deadpool reached forward to grab a drink he had set on the end table earlier before getting interrupted, “speaking of dead, you still haven’t answered how you’re still kicking around.”

“Your life isn’t the only one that involves time travels.”

“Oh, good, just the normal X-men bullshit then, should we be expecting the other Logan then?”

“No…he is still…gone…his body, or what we can find of it, is now resting back at the mansion…not all of us are back.”

“Oooh, I probably should have put that puzzle back together before jumping…everyone is still on the fence on whether or not old Wolves would have gotten a kick out of me playing Ninja Warrior with his tibias?”

“And what does that mean?”

“Ignore it and my little chats with the “gremlins” as Honey Bunny puts it, now, I’m going to guess you thought if you couldn’t have one, you figured you could take mine? Did Daddy Professor not drill in manners in all of that training, it’s rude to take other people’s stuff.”

“He isn’t your ‘stuff’, you don’t know how to handle him.”

At that precise moment, Logan ran past in the background, on all fours and a chunk of meat in his mouth, the merc was glad that Cyclops couldn’t follow his line of sight because of the mask. Cause all the red head had to do was slightly turn his head and he would see the man he was searching for bounding upstairs like an overly excited puppy with a new toy.

Either the man found fresh grade A steak or he had decided that some one smelled delicious and took a chuck. 50 50 chance on either option really and at least the blood was everywhere here instead of back in the apartment.

Al was less likely to complain when she didn’t slip and slide through puddles of blood.

“Handle him? Scottie too Hottie!”, at this point he lifts his mask enough to sip at the drink in his hand, grimacing at the flavor, how did they make fruit soda taste bad, “ugh, high society tastes are awful,” he wiggles the can at the other man, “want it?”

“No.”

“Don’t blame you, I can how ever blame you for thinking that for some shit reason that Lobunny, wait fuck that’s a Pokémon, Lo Bun Bun, is unable to think for himself and that I somehow can stop him from going wherever he wants to go.”

“He hasn’t came home, yet, if he was able to go-“

“That place isn’t his home, you are not his X-men, he is not a replacement, well, he is an anchor being replacement but not a ‘pick up where the last Logan left off’ replacement. So what ever regrets or amends you wanted to have, they should be aimed at the grave and not the man you wished was the one you lost,” Deadpool threw the can over the others head, before flipping over the couch he was on, landing on his feet and giving double finger guns at the X-man before the can could hit the wall, “well, good chat, but we gotta go!”

Scott was standing up now, face serious and ready to counter argue when flashing lights from outside reflected in the windows, sirens coming closer, “is that the police?”

“Yeah!,” now the mercenary was opening a window, hanging halfway out of it as he made grabby hands at something above him, “hope you got a ride,” blue colored gloves grabbed his red ones and he was yanked out and upward, “tootles!”

Scott took a deep breath, calming himself down before turning and heading toward his own escape.

He’ll try another day.

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[astro-royale]

Observations : Part 1✨

⚠️These are my personal observations & opinions:

- Saturn in your 7th house can usually mean that all your intimate relationships are of a karmic nature & to do with past lives. Soulmate after soulmate… there’s always a sense of fate.

- I believe Pluto is a feminine planet in a masculine energy.. much of what happens to a wounded female when she is in survival mode. Yes , Pluto is represented my a male God, but intuitively I believe there is something deeply feminine about Pluto. Astronomers have discovered that Pluto has a HEART. Cold seeming on the outside but very deeply passionate on the inside.

Gen Z has Pluto in the libertine sign of Sagittarius, it makes such sense that this generation is so obsessed with freedom and so obsessed with rebelling against the norm to gain said freedom. Also using knowledge as a weapon to gain freedom…

Scorpio Risings have deep rooted trust issues. They most likely don’t trust you even if they said they do. If a scorpio rising insults you and loves you in the same breath, it means they’re comfortable with you and they like you to a certain degree, consider yourself lucky.

Capricorn Sun/Risings are so tight pocketed…

Shadow side of Virgo; Virgos are probably one of the most judgemental signs. They criticise as a way to make themselves feel better and superior, and also as a way to keep distance and detach themselves. (They’re still probably right though😅)

Aquarius Venus men can display high signs of disinterest in people but rather display more interest in things.. especially knowledge. They give off a very asexual vibe, kind of like Isaac Newton vibe.

Cancer sun people are easily taken advantage of in ways they don’t realise because their ego relies so much on the validation of other people.

If a man with Venus in Scorpio is not interested in you, you will know, because he is not obsessed with you.

Virgos are one of the signs that care most about people yet that gets overlooked because they don’t like taking credit, and their pride can give off the wrong impression as if they don’t care due to their sharp tongue; yet they do care because they take care of the little details or they show love in more action oriented ways.

If a Virgo starts talking about how much they do it’s because they’re tired of lack of appreciation and reciprocation.

Taurus in 6th house will make you obsessed with improving your looks, especially your body. It will also make you want to improve your eating habits.

Geminis will really just say anything on their mind, sometimes knowing it will hurt you, just because they like to see the look on your face. It brings them amusement to have the upper hand because it plays on their ego to be “intellectually superior”.

There can be very strong alternation of like and dislike between Scorpio Rising and Scorpio Sun individuals.. always some kind of tension.

I’ve noticed Pisces Sun men tend to easily give into addictions and escapism, and often use spirituality as an excuse to stay in their head. They have a lot of willpower; yet they get distracted by the need to avoid their trauma and suppress their emotions through their addictions . They have a lot of potential.

Cancer men tend to be very sensitive and have fragile egos, quite reactive too if you brush them the wrong way.

Libras can be very fake but also extremely caring and nurturing.

Virgo men… can be quite messy and poor with hygiene.

If a Gemini cares about you, you’re in their pile of “special” people because 9 times out of 10 they don’t give a fffffff.

Scorpio in sun or rising will often have bird like or vampiric features.

There is something very tender about a Scorpio man, even when he is honest with his darkness, you can still sense a sweetness and sensitivity in them. They’re the kind of guys you want to help and think you can change, until they prove you wrong because they self sabotage so that you don’t like them…

Leo in Venus will spoil you!! Male or female, doesn’t matter how long you have known them. If they like you they will pay for lunch, take pictures of you and show you off on social media, etc.

If you want to support this blog as well as my research there’s a Tip option in the bio. Or you can cashapp me £astroroyale .This way I can keep posting high quality content for you as it encourages me in the process <3 :) Thank you & Much love

Anyways, stay safe 😊☀️✨

Gif is from the anime the wallflower