#the watch dogs movie itself has been in development for a while I think?

[spideyhexx]

i have such specific trauma from when jeremy jordan did spinning gold and there was no news for months and then it turned out they had to stop filming bc they ran out of money that im SCARED

OH NO FJSNDNSS im gonna say maybe there’s hope since they mentioned the watch dogs film in the vman article but😭

and the director last retweeted smth about someone talking about the movie beginning of august dnsndnsn his twt still says shooting watch dogs but obviously they’re not rn SO IDK WHATS GOING ON AND ITS SLOWLY DRIVING ME CRAZY

[jimintomystery]

Foodfight! (ugh)

I voted for Dex Dogtective in a poll the other day and it reminded me that I never actually watched that shitty Foodfight! movie from 2012. So I did. This was not a good idea.

There isn't a whole lot to say about Foodfight! that hasn't already been said. The project was in development hell for so long that it defaulted on its debt, and investors took over to at least get something out the door. The most obvious issue is the bad animation, though that speaks for itself.

But here's the thing: This movie could've had Pixar-quality animation and it'd still be hot garbage. "What if mascots for popular products lived in your local store?" is a middling idea at best, and the story mishandles it every step of the way.

It would be easy to say this movie needed a lot of popular corporate mascots to really work, and the best they could do was Charlie the Tuna and the Vlasic stork. But I remember thinking the first Toy Story wouldn't work without heavy hitters like Barbie and Lego, and yet they got along fine with just Mr. Potato Head and Etch-a-Sketch. Similarly, Wreck-It Ralph succeeded with a cast of skillful pastiches of familiar video game characters, and mere cameos by the big names. In theory Foodfight! could make up a cereal mascot that reminds you of Tony the Tiger while leaving room for changes to fit the plot. But in execution we get...Dex Dogtective.

Dex is the mascot for Cinnamon Sleuth cereal, and also a detective, and also a dog, and also he dresses like Indiana Jones, and also he likes raisins, and also he runs a nightclub like Rick Blaine in Casablanca. So he has like six different gimmicks, and the cereal mascot part is easily the least important. The only reason you'd even suspect Dex is a character from a box of cereal is because he's in a movie about brand mascots. Indeed, none of the characters created for this movie look like they were designed to sell anything, least of all groceries.

The strongest concept in the movie (which isn't saying much) is that the brands are facing an invasion by the evil Brand X. This makes sense, seeing as Brand X is by definition generic, with no iconic mascot except the pejorative and mysterious implications of that term. Listen, I know this sounds dumb, but you could do something with this. In a world of where brands come to life in the form of their mascots, who or what emerges from a brand without a mascot? How would such a being differ from the likes of, say, Count Chocula? Such a character might reject some fundamental principle that the good guys hold dear.

At this juncture, a sharper "secret lives of things that aren't alive" movie could make some insightful point that ties the story together. Something about how the world needs brand mascots, I suppose. But nobody actually needs brand mascots, for pete's sake, except for the people who came up with this movie. So there's no core idea for Brand X to oppose--the good guys' world exists just to exist, so the bad guys exist just to destroy it. With that baseline laziness established, Brand X paradoxically has lots of mascots, all of whom look like Nazis for some reason.

Well, okay, technically Brand X's leader, Lady X, looks less like a Nazi and more like the Baroness from Cobra. But it figures that she doesn't quite fit in with the rest, since she created Brand X! Yeah, so at the end it's revealed she was a mascot for a poorly-marketed brand of prunes, and when she was discontinued she went to Brazil (???) for plastic surgery (???) to make her all hot. Then she somehow amassed the resources in the real world to create Brand X, complete with a human-sized android (!!!) so she could pass herself off as a real person and sell her wares to stores.

Dex is astonished by this backstory, since the mascots are like three inches tall and can't even leave the store. Lady X explains the plot hole by saying "Humans! When you look like this you can get them to do anything. Size only counts for men."

"Size only counts for men."

"Size only counts for men."

(She's talking about fucking.)

(fucking)

(-ucking -ucking -king)

Anyway, I need a nap now. Please don't watch this movie.

[danwhobrowses]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 - Quickfire Review

Finally. It's been longer than intended for me to watch this movie, I should've been writing this last week but I had the completely baffling scenario where the cinema people came in and say they 'didn't have the feature'. But finally I went and watched it so here are my quick thoughts on the matter.

Spoilers for the Movie

So I unsurprisingly enjoyed this a lot, I wouldn't say it's the best Guardians film, I think the first still sneaks the top spot, but they are all hits and it's the best MCU film since No Way Home.

I was quite surprised with a lot of things, but Rocket being on death's door for two thirds of the film was the most unexpected, paired with no character dying. I'm not too mad about the latter mind you, it was just surprising.

I read a non-spoiler review though that said that Adam Warlock wasn't in it enough, and while I can see why people may think that, I thought the limited time he had worked in his favour. The infant-like mentality - set up by the Sovereign saying he was awakened early - did add to the comedy and he was never gonna be comic accurate given that Vision stole his whole Infinity Stone shtick. While him joining the new Guardians made sense, I will say that Phyla-Vell felt a little thrown in there though but it was just a mid-credits scene so it won't mean that much.

The High Evolutionary is great though, like pure maniacal god complex, which helps to stand out against other MCU villains who often get painted with a layer of sympathy or manipulation. Chukwudi Iwuji depicted the role brilliantly and if Marvel do get put in a corner with Kang they can easily slot him into the role. For new side characters I also felt that all of Rocket's old buddies did well, Linda Cardellini especially as Lylla.

The plot itself was very emotive, centering mainly around Peter and Rocket being haunted by their past (the former having to also confront Gamora during it all), and Nebula's struggle to express herself. While this did leave Drax, Mantis and Groot to mainly hover around the side, and Cosmo and Kraglin to hover wayyyy far back over the side. Rocket's backstory though is brutal, and Peter's development towards acceptance and seeking out his family on earth was a solid payoff. I do especially like that neither of the daughters of Thanos ended up with Peter at the end, Gamora found her home in the Ravagers yes but she took home some lessons from the Guardians, and Nebula and Peter would've felt a little forced.

While the Guardians splitting at the end makes sense, and Drax getting some respect as a parental figure was nice, I do feel like Mantis going alone was perhaps the most bitter of the group going their separate ways, I enjoyed her character but she wasn't given a lot of substance, and I feel she was a little depowered here compared to when she sedated Ego and Thanos in previous movies. I hope at the least given how Star Lord will at least return that the Guardians will reunite once more, even if it's for another Holiday Special.

Also can't talk about Guardians without the music, and it's quite good, I suppose it's the quality you expect from the film after so many movies. Starting with Creep was a unique call, but I did enjoy them using Dog Days Are Over for the final scenes of the movie. Since You've Been Gone by Rainbow always puts me in a good mood though, mainly because of the Pot Noodle commercial that used the song.

I could probably dig into it more, but this is meant to be 'quickfire' and this is the eighth paragraph so in conclusion, really good movie, it has emotional weight and comedy, its focus on animal cruelty does make you pensive, the new characters were fun, and the conclusion will leave you content but also hopeful, despite Gunn setting sights on rebooting the DC universe, to see the group again.

[litcityblues]

I Finally Watched This Movie

I am way overdue for this movie, I realize this and for that, if anyone out there is judging me for it, I apologize. I don't know if modern life requires a lot of content consumption, but I try and manage my fire hose of content so I don't drown, so it took me a while to get here.

So, Everything, Everywhere, All At Once:

The story of Evelyn (Michelle Yeoh) who runs a laundromat with her husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan), they immigrated to the United States two decades earlier- eloped as well, and had a daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu.) As the movie opens, the laundromat is being audited by the IRS, Evelyn is stressing out over the visit of her demanding father Gong Gong (James Hong), Joy's relationship with her mother is strained because of many things, but Evelyn's reluctance to accept her non-Chinese girlfriend Becky is at the top of the list. Oh and Waymond, her husband? He's trying to serve her with divorce papers.

At the meeting with the IRS Inspector, Deirdre (Jamie Lee Curtis), Waymond's body is suddenly taken over by Alpha-Waymond, a version of Waymond from the Alphaverse. He explains to Evelyn that many parallel universes exist because every life choice creates a new alternative universe. Her version from the Alphaverse developed 'verse-jumping' technology that enabled people to access the skills, memories, and bodies of their parallel selves by bizarre actions. The multiverse is under threat from Jobu Tupaki (Alpha-Joy) whose mind was splintered after too much verse jumping. She experiences all universes at once and can verse-jump and manipulate matter at will. She has created a black hole in the shape of an 'everything bagel' topped with literally everything that could destroy the multiverse.

Evelyn, understandably, doesn't believe Alpha-Waymond at first, but soon finds herself caught up in the action, jumping from multiverse to multiverse where she's a stone in one, a movie star in another and everyone has hot dogs for digits in a third. She keeps jumping and jumping until finally, her mind splinters and she collapses. Like Jobu, she uncontrollably jumps across all the universes at once and Jobu almost convinces her that nothing matters, she has been looking for an Evelyn who agrees with her so they can both enter the bagel and finally die, but just before Evelyn does, she listens to one last plea from Waymond who begs her to stop fighting and be kind, even when life does not make sense. She decides to take his advice and experiences an existential epiphany and takes his advice, using her multiversal powers to fight with empathy.

This repairs the damage and neutralizes Jobu and her forces and brings her back to her home universe. She reconciles with Waymong, tells Gong Gong about Joy's girlfriend and Deidre even agrees to redo their taxes. One final task remains as Jobu enters the bagel alone and in the home Universe, Joy begs Evelyn to let her go- but instead, she tells her that even when nothing makes sense and they don't get along and she could be anywhere else in any universe, she will always want to be with Joy. This saves Jobu from the Bagel and Evelyn and Joy embrace.

This movie is a lot, I'm not going to lie. The title is perfect because there are times when you really feel like you're getting everywhere, everything all at once and it's almost overwhelming, but it's also an absolutely stunning visual spectacle. The visuals of this movie are beautiful and it deserves all the flowers and hype that it got on that basis alone.

I wanted to say that I had issues with the story, but having written out this review, I really don't. I think it's a perfect example of what science fiction at its best is like: it transports you to other worlds and other places and other universes oftentimes to tell the simplest of stories- in this case, how a broken family fixed itself and how a mother finds a way to tell her daughter that she loves her. Given the massive amount of disrespect the Academy shows to 'genre' films, it is so awesome to see a movie that demonstrates the power of genre in such a visually stunning way that underpins what's really a pretty simple and timeless story.

I can see why people might not like this movie. If multiverses aren't your thing, this might be a hard sell but at the same time, if you haven't gone near science fiction ever before and are looking for an entry point this could be a good one for you.

I, however, loved this movie. i loved the story. I loved the acting-- I have yet to see Michelle Yeoh in anything that I have actively disliked, and you would have to be the Grinch not to be absolutely thrilled for Ke Huy Quan who is awesome in this movie. James Hong has been around for what seems like forever and even though the dude is 95 years old, he proves that he still has it. Stephanie Hsu is absolutely incredible and goes toe to toe with Michelle Yeoh in this film.

Overall: It deserves all the flowers, hype, and awards that it got. It's visually stunning. A beautiful film to look at. A simple, beautiful story about the power of empathy and kindness. A stunningly good cast and a GENRE FILM that gets SOME RESPECT. FINALLY. My Grade: **** out of ****

(Okay, I went and looked at this list and went all the way back to 1930. Birdman did win Best Picture, but you can make the argument that it was less a genre film and more about an actor playing a genre character. And yes, Lord of the Rings did win. In 2003. Other than that, I can find nothing that comes close to a genre film even getting a sniff at serious critical recognition. 2001: A Space Odyssey came out in 1968 and was not even nominated. So nitpick me if you will, but I am right. Some respect for genre films was long overdue.)

(Damn it. The Shape of Water won in 2017 as well. Okay, so maybe genre films are slowly gaining a little more respect. But there have been 96 Years of the Oscars and I can find three (maybe four) movies that fit the bill of genre films that have ever won Best Picture. That's still less than one percent however you cut it.)

[putsomethinggoodon]

Double Feature: "No Hard Feelings" and

"Shiva Baby"

archived from wordpress, june 28th 2023

Air-headed as she might be, Bianca Stratford ("10 Things I Hate About You") asks the pivotal question: "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

Walking out of the movie theater Friday afternoon, I was, well, whelmed. A weird purgatory between pleased and pissed. I saw "No Hard Feelings," a female-led sex comedy starring Jennifer Lawrence and directed by Gene Stupnitsky. I was eager, after seeing the trailer months ago. A vast majority of the public, myself included, were foaming at the mouth for something mid-2000s-esque. A girl can only take so many overstimulating superheroes in spandex or bone-snapping exorcisms before she's depleted.

It'd almost be easier if "No Hard Feelings" was a dumpster fire. Easier to pick apart and say "Here! Here is where you royally fucked up!" But I wanted more, like if "The Way Way Back" and Judd Apatow had a baby.

Don't get me wrong, I was cackling along during Lawrence's naked bully beatdown on the beach. Somewhere along the line, however, I was psyching myself up for something and found myself half-satiated. To be fair, the movie saddles itself with a fairly large burden. The plot? A 32-year-old woman agreeing to "date" a 19-year-old ("We can't send him to college like this") in exchange for a car to help her pay off the skyrocketing property tax on her family home. It's no small feat to deliver something like that, much less to deliver it successfully.

Frankly, it felt a lot like trying to chase down the female orgasm. Right there, right there, right th-- well, alright.

I think a lot of the ambiguity comes from the muddy character dynamics and motivations. There's a strong beginning and end, but the middle is lacking, like a PB&J with phenomenal bread and not enough spread. Maddie's initial desperation for a car is evident and her first advances on Percy are overt. When a quasi-kidnapping for a rendezvous at her house doesn't go as planned, she takes Percy on a date. Even a sultry skinny dipping session afterwards isn't enough to send him tumbling into bed. It's here, when Maddie treats Percy's anxiety rash, that he emerges from his shell.

This is where I would have wanted to see a clearer shift in Maddie and Percy's dynamic. Because we as an audience assume our protagonists won't actually end up together in the end, it's within our expectations to expect an unlikely friendship to develop. Instead of continuing to date, Maddie could have double-crossed the parents and taken on a sex-guru slash mentorship role. I think this shift could have easily balanced humor and heartfelt, while accomplishing the necessary narrative beats. It'd be a more effective paradigm, Percy trying to follow in her footsteps--the man becomes the man eater--while unknowingly teaching Maddie to embrace the softer side of herself. Enter Maddie's eventual guilt over turning sweet Percy into a player and trying to pass off his deflowering to uphold her end of the deal. In this alternative direction, "No Hard Feelings" would shine.

Unfortunately, Maddie and Percy continue to date, albeit at a slower pace. What ensues is an odd combination of romance and friendship and a rushed third act. Perhaps that messy middle is a testament to how real life romance has devolved, skirting around the idea of committing fully. It's an amalgamation of moments that could have worked well in separate timelines (a second chance at prom, an accidental throat punch, etc.), but all together fail to form a united front. I applaud Maddie's eventual choice to gift her house to Sara and Gary, adopt former drug dog Milo, and leave Montauk, but I wish the journey to that happy ending transpired much differently.

All hope during my double feature Friday, however, was not lost. I curled up on the couch afterwards to watch "Shiva Baby," which has been on my watchlist for far too long. Director Emma Seligman might as well have kissed me on the forehead and handed me a bagel and lox.

Shiva refers to the week-long mourning period in Judaism, and what better place to create unbearable tension than a funeral. The close quarters, packed with people, combined with the film's strategic score feels like an itchy sweater an old relative would make you wear. Maybe it's a side effect of being the youngest, queerest child in my family, but I've been in Danielle's shoes. Minus the sugar-daddy-turned-fellow-mourner arc.

"Everyone has three lives: a public life, a personal life, and a secret life." Gabriel García Márquez

Any twenty-something person will tell you, there's an inevitable molding process that occurs when you go home: shifting, shrinking, shirking certain parts of yourself that don't align with the childhood version of you. It resurfaces in little moments. Unloading the dishwasher for your parents, bickering with your siblings, ignoring any and all discussions on politics, questions about your love life (or lack there of). Danielle is being pulled in three separate directions: her public live, catching up with family; her private life, running into an ex-girlfriend; and her secret life, keeping her sugar baby status under wraps.

The threads that connect each of these three become a taut, tangled mess and every conversation takes on its own three lives: hey Daddy, distracted, babysitting, female entrepreneurs, how do you guys know each other, he's not for you, are you disappointed in me, talk to me/I can't, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

With every interaction, you're wondering what will it take for those threads to finally snap?

(Spoiler: It's the shiva baby.)

Thank you "Shiva Baby," for lodging yourself deep in my brain. "No Hard Feelings," you could have be so great.

Suffice to say, you couldn't pry the coming of age genre from my cold, dead hands. It can be as expansive as a post-graduation roadtrip or confined to Saturday detention. This double feature Friday, go back to your roots, however gnarly.

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 21: May December

Today’s movie was May December. That… was an experience. It sort of reminded me of Power of the Dog in the sense that it’s another film that starts slow and builds steady and you don’t really realize either time passing or tension building until at some point you’re wondering if someone’s going to die. And it still managed to have that breath-holding finale without anyone… actually dying.

I would definitely need to watch it again to get more coherent thoughts but it’s also going to be a while before I have the fortitude to watch it again. It’s going to have to sit for a while.

I was pretty caught up on all of the recurring details, the mirrors, the recurring references in different contexts. Everything comes back to the same points, seen from different angles. The same story, different points of view, different biases, different possibilities. Viewing everything only through mirrors (literal mirror imagery like in the dress shopping and makeup scenes, or in the fight scene, etc.). The reference to falling off the roof in the beginning, leading to the x-rays of the kid who fell off the roof, leading to Joe almost falling off the roof. The ages 14 and 36 recurring, the specific age gap recurring. Affairs and almost affairs. Both Elizabeth and Joe’s sister having asthma. Trying to piece together the truth in the past through photographs, tabloids, interviews, letters, and the aftermath itself, the present.

My big takeaway honestly is that both Gracie and Elizabeth are totally deranged. I’m not going to try to figure out Gracie. I was right there with Elizabeth feeling like I’d been sent on a total 180 spin at the last moment at graduation. It’s not that I thought she had been abused; that struck me as a little… too much to be true in such a subtle story, I suppose. Too much to be coming out so late and so lowkey in the narrative. But that she and Georgie “talk every day”—that surprised me. I really thought the implication was they never spoke. Like I was bamboozled about that. It really underlined that this is the same woman who engaged in such awful behavior, that she has lied, she has manipulated, she has controlled the whole narrative. She calls her “naivete” a gift, and I think to some extent she is naïve, but she’s also damned confident. That ‘insecure people are very dangerous. I’m secure’ line??? Ended me. I don’t know what to do with that. Who's insecure? And also--she IS dangerous?

And Elizabeth—is of course obsessed with the part, becoming Gracie, etc., that’s pretty obvious and expected. What got to me is her casual manipulation of other people, her disinterest in her fiancé and the affair she’s having with the director and the affair she so easily has with Joe, and how she really doesn’t seem to have a sense of proper lines and boundaries, either. She is so quick to talk about sex scenes with the kids at the high school. That's damned inappropriate. I also thought there was some sense in which she maybe appreciated the kid in the hallway doing a little trick to show off—the closest thing the movie gets to answering that totally unfathomable question of HOW an adult could ever look at a 13-year-old kid as a sexual partner. The most distressing part of the movie to me was the scene with the audition reels of the kids who were up for Joe’s part. Those were real kids. That’s what 13 looks like. I think when you see so much of the relationship from the perspective of two adults, it’s hard to really think the implications of that through. It’s hard to see it. In part because you don’t want to. You see glimmers of it, like in how close Joe is in age to his kids, or in both Gracie and Joe's stunted development. But I think precisely because he’s so childlike in so many ways, it’s easy to imagine that you’re seeing him now as he was then—you forget the body he was in then and that there is a difference between ‘childlike/innocent adult’ and ‘actual child.’ But then you see those kids in the reels… damn. Interesting, very interesting, that the actor ultimately cast to play Joe was clearly not 13—he looked like he could be 16 or 17, easily.

Ultimately though I’d say that last scene really aligned Elizabeth with the viewer: the absolute insanity you’ll lead yourself to if you think too much or too hard or too obsessively about whatever the heck that was.

The most sympathetic character was definitely Joe. I feel so soft for him. He just wants to be a good dad, he never had any chance to grow up or to understand how he didn’t grow up, he has no idea what he’s going to do without his kids in the house… and he raises butterflies, with such gentleness and care. I hope he and his friend in the Facebook group continue to be friends… I was a little afraid that perhaps she ghosted him after she perceived his interest in her to be crossing a line, with the suggestion of a getaway together. Maybe she did. He just needs someone like that—someone who takes him seriously I suppose.

I’m skimming over some reviews and a lot of people seem to have found it funny… I don’t know, I didn’t find anything either funny or campy in it, I thought it was quite a tense drama, but maybe that’s a me problem, I don’t know.

[astroboyanalysis]

2. The Hot Dog Corps

I've always thought this was one of many Astro Boy stories that would lend itself very well to a more serious and adult remake, (a la Pluto) but this one with a distinct horror vibe. You know. On account of the body horror.

Atom (smiling serenely): wow Mr. Tezuka you're getting really angry can we change the subject

Anyway obviously he makes a good point here. Could talk for a while about cultural double standards especially when animals like dogs and cats are involved. But like, this is an explicitly sympathetic story to the dog and animal testing is a thing we do. So I feel like it should have been allowed to show but I do understand different countries have different standards surrounding what is deemed "appropriate" for children to think about and see. America's just very strange in general to be honest.

Wow that's awesome Mr Ban. I do not want to dog sit for you ever btw.

First really funny gag so far imo. You go Kenichi have a dog treat.

Okay this is interesting to me and probably no one else. Tezuka put little gags in like this if he thought it was getting too serious, which is fine and normal - but it's been less than a page since the last gag. People say we have short attention spans now (and we do) but entertainment has basically always vied for your attention and had to constantly jump around and dance and say LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AWAY!

anyway I love you hyoutan-tsugi don't listen to him

Ban confirmed in debt (joking. or am i)

normal way to act yeah. Fuck up this guy's car and probably kill him with fire and then drown him and also steal his dog and be like. Tee hee hee... stupid idiot... hee hee...

Smiling his angelic little smile like "Did you break the law and endanger others mister teacher?"

God hes just so cute. There's gonna be a lot of "ohhhhhhg my god.... ghgh,h,..... oghgh h look a him...." probably. but ohghghghggggg g loook at hi

Excellent use of class time man

Now's probably a great time to mention you'll notice a heavy focus on like school and child development and stuff in my analysis - I'm a student teacher in Elementary! So I think about this kind of thing a lot and it sticks out to me as a result. Anyway.

Great gag. There's some good ones in this story.

Okay because I'm reading it physically but using an online version for images, most online versions stop abruptly right around here so I don't have good pictures. I'm sorry in advance for the wonky pictures I took.

Idk grand duchess it kind of seems like your fault because you decided to kidnap dogs instead of just having someone train them for you at your bigass winter palace or whatever the hell.

I love how evil things are here. You just dont get cartoonishly evil villains nowadays (because I don't watch kids TV all that much I suppose. But also there's a general trend toward movies and shows without cartoonishly evil villains that I've noticed which is interesting. Suits reality a little better since most people won't be like YOU SEE! I'VE DONE IT SO I CAN KILL AND MURDER! MUAHAHAHA! when you ask them about their motivations in doing something.)

HOLY SHIT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE SHIP THEY BLEW UP I get that this is the point but I don't think I ever noticed that before lmao.

Oh hes so cute.....

This is strange as their minds are dog minds and therefore they probably shouldn't have robotic movements. A keen observer like Atom should be able to recognize that they're not all that organized when compared with robotic timing.

"Aren't supposed to be able to" just indicates to me that it's a limitation imposed by creators to align themselves with the laws of robotics and avoid getting in trouble, which I would think would also mean people could make robots that can kill and there's really no reason they wouldn't be able to do that. That said it would be very strange for the story if robots really could be used as weapons as easily as they can in real life. But unless you categorize a machine and a robot differently based on their AI and self determination, I would think it is easier for a robot to kill humans as they don't have to take it into account at all if they aren't programmed to.

That said, in the world of Astro Boy, the laws of robotics are absolute and people do not really break them. They just do an insane workaround loophole like. I dunno. Putting dog brains and nervous systems into robot bodies. Shit like that. I suppose if they were laws that could be broken, that would be really interesting though. It would be like something the United Nations has agreed on so a country caught doing something against it would be refused trade and that kind of thing. So they'd have to be sneaky.

I'm getting off topic.

Okay so there are human workers in the fortress, but all the guard members are cyborgs.

(Annoying guy voice) BUT I THOUGHT HE ONLY LISTENED TO BAN!!!!!!

strong contender for funniest panel so far

REALLY good way to show 2 days have passed this is awesome

To be honest it makes sense to me that a traumatic surgery and event like having your nervous system and brain stripped out and put into a new shape and new environment and shit would make you forget most things. Really sad.

actually devastating im not kidding

Ok yea sure. Literally why though. Atom you do it because you're the main character I guess. This is where I really appreciate Pluto's realism in that Atom is used more as a figurehead and symbol of peace than like. a functionally useful substitute for specialized jobs.

Then again because he's recalling where it was in the next panels, it's possible this is more a result of not having functional and immediate satellite imaging at the time this comic was being written, so you would need someone who knew where they were going to lead you there.

This would indicate to me that there is a temperature Atom's circuitry is not able to function at due to it being too low, but Space is colder than this so I think that is not the case (or we can say it's not the case that space is cold in this universe). Anyway it's slightly less horrifying than him potentially being trapped in ice and aware of the passage of time and fully cognizant so I do see why Tezuka did this.

Also he's shapes.

(The rest of this post will be continued in a reblog as you can only have 30 images per post)

[justinmoviereviews]

The class of 2022 cont.

Hustle - Jeremiah Zagar

So Michael Bay has a recognizable authorial style, and turns out so does the Happy Madison team. Here are some qualities of a basic Adam Sandler movie--the main character at the center is beloved, the jokes are aimed at someone else’s expense but are mostly harmless, the villain gets punished in a silly way, and the hero wins. Hustle is essentially an Adam Sandler movie, but the heat is turned down to a cool temp suitable for adults, and it largely works. Even more than the basketball, which made me want to sign up for League Pass, the best part is the man himself. In a lot of his worst movies the Sandman is playing the pinnacle of his version of cool and living in a universe in which everyone agrees. Here he’s traded that for a world weariness and a self deprecation that fits his age and stage of life. I credit this to the Safdies.

The Invitation - Jessica M. Thompson

Just easily the dumbest movie of the year, which honestly is heartwarming in an era when most movies feel like competently made assembly-line product. Naming the type of movie this is would be a spoiler, but suffice to say the twist actually makes this bad flick even worse. The dialogue is harder to sit through than any of the scary stuff. Watch it with six beers and have a great time.

The Eternal Daughter - Joanna Hogg

First off, this film looks like it was made in the 1970s. It’s not just the granular camera, its the way the soundtrack presents itself and the way its shot, with closeups and zoom ins on characters to emphasize certain moments. There are, I think, five actors in this movie, playing six characters, and two are only in it for a couple minutes. It’s very quiet and not much happens. The director lets the eerie and genuinely anachronistic tone she’s come up with linger for minutes at a time on scenes of Tilda Swinton staring at a mirror or typing on a laptop or talking on the phone or walking her dog, which is probably the main reason to cast Tilda Swinton. Nobody in Hollywood has a more interesting face or can hold the camera while doing nothing quite like her. There are ideas about memory and daughterhood sprinkled throughout, and the house-turned-hotel is at least a little bit haunted, but the main idea doesn’t come through until the end, and that’s when everything you just watched clicks into place. I’m so happy I’ve been keyed into Joanna Hogg. This is better than most movies I’ve seen lately.

Crimes of the Future - David Cronenberg

How in the hell did he get $27 million dollars to make this? I don’t know how much love Neon thinks David Cronenberg conjures, but I read it made about $4.5 million globally and that actually sounds like a win. I really like the way Cronenberg makes movies. The stakes in this are low, there’s not much by way of inciting incident or plot. He sets up a weird world and has people interact with each other in a way that feels surprisingly safe and warm, like they’re all from the same tribe, and then creates a behind-the-scenes menace that keeps the story on edge. This movie looks decrepit and colorless in a way that suggests a fallen society, and the overt body horror stuff is, I guess a high point for people who like that kind of thing. The characters know more about the world than the viewer ever does. All that said, I was slightly disappointed in this. I think the idea is that some time in the near future humans are evolving into the next stage of development in what is otherwise a static and decayed society, but I never found this particularly clear or got into it enough to roll with it. Its a great three-quarters of a genuinely new piece of world building, but, in my opinion, it never gets all the way there.

The Wonder - Sebastian Lelio

A weirdly grody, unpretty movie. It’s shot in houses that look molded out of blobby green clay and Irish countryside that looks like arid purple coral. This has to be a choice, and I think a better movie could have brought out the inner mechanics of a small Irish town decimated by famine in the 1860s and coping with it in ways that are overtly harmful and seeded in a hermetic and impenetrable culture. Instead its more of an outsider’s takedown of a small, sad community given over to Catholic beliefs the movie outright states are false superstitions. The voice of reason is a British character, which feels particularly mean given how present the Potato Famine is to the story. Oh wow, I think I just talked myself into hating this.

Blonde - Andrew Dominik

Once upon a time a director took a giant shit on the floor and then looked you in the eye and said “I bet you can’t deal with this!” The main character has no agency or personality or history, is dragged through sequence after sequence of gratuitous torture that is simpleminded beyond any plausible biography of Marylin Monroe, while the film congratulates itself for its own truth-telling like it just solved 21st century artistic mediocrity and also world hunger. It’s as factually unreliable as Elvis and a hundred times more proud of itself. This might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story - Eric Appel

A couple of jokes I really like here: Young Al Yankovic sneaking out of his parents’ house to a polka party, Dr. Demento hosting a Jack Horner-style poolside hangout where the vice of choice seems to be PG-rated jokes, the third act veering into a completely different movie just because it would be fun to do and because Walk Hard didn’t think of it. Here we have the Weird Al aesthetic converted quite naturally to film; it’s basically a Funny or Die sketch spread to movie length, but the tone--knowingly silly, not really mocking anyone, a little violent, earnestly weird in the way a child could love--is the type of Al shit you’ll recognize immediately if you grew up a fan. Another thing I thought is that I can’t even name the last time a big broad comedy like this came out. This movie is stuffed to capacity full of non-Apatow troupe comic actors--Patton Oswalt, Conan O’Brien, Jack Black, Will Forte, Rainn Wilson, Demetri Martin, I could keep going--and I realized those people have been showing up a lot less lately because no one is making movies for them anymore. 

The Cathedral - Ricky D’Ambrose

A very impressionistic, sort of fascinating movie about a family of mediocrities with a certain amount of and relationship to money. The camera and by the extension the story lingers on the most ordinary parts of life--a 40+ second scene of a guy removing painter’s tape from a wall is a representative sample shot--to make the whole business of life seem boring and mundane, like the story of a single family as told by a blurb in a history textbook. Essentially this is a movie about a failure and the son he raised, who will turn out in some way that hasn’t been written yet (presumably he goes on to make this movie). There’s a chilling inter-family feud somewhere in here, but mostly these people are regular, and small, and ultimately unlovable. It’s one of the more interesting films I’ve watched from this year, and the only reason I don’t rate it higher is because I’m not sure how much of the static impressionism was dictated by its budget, which couldn’t have been higher than mid-six figures. I can’t tell if some of the ideas are choices or limitations.

Aftersun - Charlotte Wells

Wow. What a sad, beautiful movie. A dad and his preteen daughter take a resort vacation in Turkey that neither of them want to end. Paul Mescal--unknown to me before this--is sad and soulful without ever really explaining anything about himself. I don’t have much more to say. This isn’t one I want to dig into. I just loved it.

Causeway - Lila Neugebauer

A perfectly nice movie about two people treading water above something dark and difficult under the surface who find each other and help each other, maybe forever. Brian Tyree Henry really is a good actor and sort of steals this from the one time world conquering star. More movies should take place in New Orleans, a photogenic and objectively amazing city. 

Sick - John Hyams

I choose to believe this is a movie about how the mask scolds were the biggest monsters of all.

Decision to Leave - Park Chan-wook

Headless voice recordings, images and language looping around and over each other, shots that serve as wordless exposition, visual and audio ideas that expand the story and explore its ideas. This is the best directed movie of the year. Imagine how good Bardo would be if Inarritu had Chan-wook’s facility with cinematic storytelling. Plenty of movies are competently made. Some even expertly so. But it’s a rare thing to see something so creatively inspired. Every decision he makes is not only interesting in its own right, but serves the final product. It doesn’t even really matter what the story is. I don’t know who else you could really say that about. Add another director to the canon.

The Batman - Matt Reeves

The only thing the young left hates more than grievous white men is conservative cops, so how many more reboots before they make Batman the villain? Why do we keep rebooting this movie? You had a good idea last time, man.

Happening - Audrey Diwan

I hate to compare the two most overtly feminist films of the year, but I see a lot of overlap between this and Women Talking. Both focus on dealing with the immediate issue in front of them rather than getting polemic about how shitty everything is (Blonde, easily the worst movie of 2022, prostrates on the ground to show you how much it hates the sins of men, while these two movies just solve their problems.) Happening doesn’t lose sight for one second about what its about--the main character never stops to reconsider her options, doesn’t waiver from her mission for even a single minute. It kind of diminishes the movie’s effect as a movie, but it’s a strong and effective way to make its own political point, which is, I think: The system was not built for us, let’s deal with that the way we have to.

Living - Oliver Hermanus

Bill Nighy taps into the high class you assume comes as naturally to him as charm does to Matt Damon, but he’s more reserved and sublimated here than you’d expect. The same is true of the movie, which is smaller and grimmer than its title or plot description suggests it will be. Rather than go on a quest for the meaning of happiness, a lifelong bureaucrat who’s life’s ambition was to be a part of the genteel British background takes a look at life and decides the best thing he can do with his short time left on earth is his job, because the ship has sailed on everything else. The camerawork and score are a little fussy--it is mid-century England--but its a surprisingly good looking film.

Smile - Parker Finn

This could have and should have been better, but plotwise he sticks to a script--this is basically the Ring--the thematic stuff is Horror Movie plug-in shit, and its not that scary. There’s a scene where the demon that’s haunting the lead appears in her house and physically corners her against the wall, and then the movie cuts away to the next day. What the fuck is that?! We paid to see the goods!

Stars at Noon - Clair Denis

There’s a richness here most movies don’t possess. This was an interesting one, and I’m not sure I got everything, but I have some takes. Like a lot of 2022 movies, Covid is a presence here, but the way characters take on and off their masks feels methodical. The movie has a breezy cool that reminded me of Soderbergh. The soundtrack is loose and jazzy, its naturalistic and unmannered, and it finds details and stories everywhere. A scene where a group of boaters is casually murdered and robbed by bandits is shot and then forgotten--just one of the hundreds of bizarre little things she comes across. The setting is Nicaragua’s turbulent political situation, which is responsible for the overriding sense of danger and is the locus at the center that dictates every decision the characters make. My only problem with this movie is that the love story at its center is the least interesting thing about it. The two leads never really seem to find any reason to care about each other, and while Margaret Qualley of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood fame is doing something genuinely interesting--she flits and floats around in rock bottom without any inhibition at all--their scenes together never really cohere. Except one. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention there is one scene between them that works quite well.

Petit Maman - Celine Sciamma

Double bill this with Aftersun. Where that movie was about the impossibility of connecting with your parents at their level, this one is a fantasy about what would happen if you actually could. At a cool 73 minutes it’s so slight it threatens to blow away in the wind, but it’s sweet and tender. I was going to call it delicate, but it’s actually pretty hardy, the way most kids actually are.

Benediction - Terence Davies

The positives: the screenplay. Some of the best dialogue of the year. One thing I’m a very big fan of is directors using the tools of their medium to try to reflect the abstract brilliance of great work in other mediums. This doesn’t exactly do this--cinematically it tops out at Sassoon reciting his poems over photos of WWI battles--but its a movie about a writer trying to hunt out language’s absolute truth told using absolutely some of the sharpest and most direct dialogue you’ll find in a film. Jack Lowden is phenomenal as the lead--serious and direct and intelligent and sincere. This movie should have gotten no brainer Best Actor and Best Screenplay nominations that my mom rooted for except this type of Cradle to Grave Great Difficult Man biopic seems to be a few years past its prime in an Oscar era when the runaway favorite is the racoon in the chef’s hat movie. This is clearer and more direct than all but the very best of its kind. When the main character is curdled and vicious at the end of his life, you know exactly why, rather than it looking like the blurred strains of a movie filling in it’s subject’s final Wikipedia section, like most of these do. The negative is that the second half is slow as hell. This is a good movie, maybe a great movie, but it’s not for me at all.

Saint Omer - Alice Diop

Add my name to the ring of people who took issue with the framing device. The story here is true crime event where a detached and isolated African immigrant in France has an affair with an older white man and then murders the child they conceive. It’s a stranger than fiction tale that would warrant its own New Yorker issue, with the moral that people are weird and life is murky and huge. But I guess the powers that be didn’t think this was enough of a film, or maybe it just wasn’t the story Alice Diop wanted to tell, so the movie hangs its central plot around another story about a pregnant African journalist who’s observing the trial and scared of how much she finds herself relating to the defendant. The movie does as well as it can merging these two stories, and comes up with some pretty interesting ideas, but it never fully feels like it isn’t something tacked on--it never feels organic. Even so, I liked this a lot. Its simple to the point of feeling like docufiction, but in doing so lets the story and its characters get deep. It doesn’t judge or make statements at all, and it’s got great colors--yellows and tans and blues.

Armageddon Time - James Gray

This seems, to me, to be James Gray using facts of his biography to tell a story about how different tribes in America play the various hands they’re dealt to try to achieve whatever their version of survival or success is. If plenty of other movies have looked at the same theme, only Widows, a personal favorite, comes to mind as doing it as well. They say the more personal you make something the more universal it becomes, and while I’m not sure how specific this movie is to its creator’s life, it gets at so many sociological truths without ever feeling like more than a personal memory. The family at the center has achieved enough comfort to begin to look outside of itself, but lives, or at least thinks it lives, in a precarious peace that can be taken away at any moment, which colors every decision it makes. A scene at the end where Jeremy Strong’s tough loving father tells his son the ugly truth about what the point of it all is is one of the better scenes of the year. I was not prepared for this movie to be as good as it was. 

[abbynx]

0 to 100 real quick

La Squadra reacting to a usually silent, patient teammate snapping and going off

Genre: Platonic, just the bois being bros, definitely a self-projection, comfort

Warning: Cursing, mentions of breakup and manipulation 

Your phone rang for the umpteenth time, the stubborn caller failing to realise how many times you've wordlessly made it clear you want nothing to do with him. All you ask of him was to finally leave you alone and yet he continues to persistently pest you. Your will power proved itself mighty to be tolerating his nineteenth call in five minutes.

It was your ex being a stubborn son of a bitch who has a lot of time in his hands, constantly asking you to pick up the phone and let him 'smooth out and explain' his recent relationship with his 'friends' behind your back. You were nowhere near stupid, nor gullible after joining the mob. despite your outward appearance as an innocent, average civilian you've hardened over time with the help of your career and turning your feelings off was no longer a challenge. Over time it simply became a light switch.

After his recent actions came to light, you bear to hesitation to break it off. For a moment you felt guilty when he gave his explanation to why he started seeing other people without you knowing; of course you knew what you were getting into when you signed your soul away to the devil to work in this line of career, you were constantly faced with death and lacked the time to spend time with him. He had no knowledge about what you do for a living, but you knew how to make it clear you were never going to be a simple one-call-away. But over time you've finally gained some self-worth and self-preservation to see through his guilt tripping, before you dropped his ass.

Now you were here, rejecting his calls before pocketing it back in your pants before resuming the movie night. Even putting the phone on silent it continued to bother everyone around you as you continued to nonchalantly press the reject call button.

How can you be this patient, the rest of the team questions but the answer lay before them. Risotto hired the timid assassin with potential for their unwavering patience and swift wits to wiggle them selves out of severe situations, something the time could use to be honest especially when you have a ticking time bomb with no timer and goes off at random. Perhaps the question would be simply answered with a short and simple one: "It's just Y/N being Y/N."

With the pestering phone calls bothering you for the past few days, your team can't help to be annoyed on your behalf and would like to chuck your phone into the deepest trench of the ocean and buy you a new one.

Much to everyone's chagrin, they watch you pick your phone up, however, what you did next was new and unexpected. Instead of rejecting the call, you finally picked up. Most of the time you'd politely greet, but today was certainly different. As soon as you picked up the phone, you wasted no breathe to speak and cut to the chase. All eyes turned to you, some were concerned, curious, shocked, or proud.

"Can you quit blowing up my phone, dude? Twenty FUCKING calls every second is getting tiresome. If you're calling me to 'explain' to me how you're not meeting your hookups then fuck off and get lost! what? Do you miss your personal ego booster? Well then fuck you, go try and choke on your own dick! Do you fucking think I'll believe your half-assed bullshit lies and pathetic fucking cries and bitching will win me over? You must be so fucking DELUSIONAL to be thinking you're worth the effort! What? Are you sad that I’m not a passable doll you can manipulate and mold to your liking? Is that it, you crazy son of a bitch? Can't you fucking get a clue that I'm over it? Huh? I couldn't care less about the new lies you've come up with to try and win me over, I'm done! Finished! Tapos! Ho finito! He terminado! Я задолбался! WHAT OTHER LANGUAGES DO I NEED TO SPEAK TO GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK FUCKING NOGGIN OF YOUR’S? CALL ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO ALL THINGS CONSIDERED MIGHTY THAT YOU WON’T HAVE ANY TEETH LEFT, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU FUCKING CHEATER? DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? Good."

As soon as you finished the call, you calmly set it down with a sigh of relief. Peace at last. You adjusted yourself comfortably on your seat, wanting to watch the movie on display, when you felt you've made yourself quite the spectacle.

“What?”

Formaggio

- “Woooh, they went off!” His initial response was to high-five you for some reason but you accepted, nevertheless. 

- Very shocked and yet enthusiastic at how you handles yourself at the face of a situation like this. Not to mention, the build up! From you trying to tolerate the caller for the past few minutes, before picking up the call and gave them an ass whipping to remember for the rest of his life! 

- He would feel sorry for the person of the other side of the line if it weren’t for the fact he cheated on you, so good for him to be told off.

Illuso 

- “Heh, about time you told him off.”

- Silently supportive at how you handled yourself at the face of a situation like this and admires you for it. It was very entertaining while it lasted, now he just wants to go back to watching the movie. 

- Along that, he was shock that this hidden side of yours came put of nowhere and came out strong, which he thinks is pretty fucking rad. He now thinks back at the times where he gave you backhanded comments and how you managed to keep yourself cool under it... He now reminds himself not to get on your bad side, ever. 

Proscuitto 

- “.... Thank fuck you’re done, I was starting to think about throwing your phone out.”

- Extremely flabbergasted, as he has never heard you speak fluent in profanities, nor raise your voice at the duration of your stay in La Squadra. and addition to that, the fact you leaned on your seat and calmed yourself immediately as if nothing happened. 

- Nevertheless, he feels proud at you for standing up to yourself and standing your ground. You have always been the timid one entering the world of crime and he overlooked your development within this new and risky life style. Looks like his mentoring worked wonders on you and he feels proud of himself. 

Pesci 

- “......” 

- He was too shaken up to speak, he has never heard you be this angry and frustrated before as you’ve always kept calm in every situation and he admires you for that. 

- He is shaken up, sure but it doesn’t really change how he views you. You were still the patient person he has ever met-- he just happen to witness you lose your cool once but he’s sure that this won’t define you. 

Melone 

- “Good for you for getting rid of that guy.” 

- He’s just relieved that you’re finally done with the guy who has been giving Melone weird vibes the moment you told him about your then boyfriend. A few alarm bells rang in his head as you detailed how he acts around you and despite being happy for you back then, Melone was extremely vocal about his concerns. Looking back at it, he feels that his ‘paranoia’ wasn’t far off.

- He isn’t really shock, he’s just happy that you’re standing your ground and establishing yourself as a person who don’t need no one to use as a co-dependent crutch. After being around Ghiaccio, he really isn’t that phased anymore.

Ghiaccio

- “Fucking finally!”

- Similar to Melone, he’s just relieved your done with the phone calls and clingy boyfriend who is a walking-talking red flag. He hated how you didn’t have time back then to hang out with your other teammates just to spend time with your boyfriend to make up lost times, that often lasts until midnight and Ghiaccio can still hear you talking to your phone. 

- Ghiaccio cares about you despite his distant veneer, and wants the best for the people he cares about. So he was happy that you finally broke your relationship of with a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Also, he’s starting to think that your choice of vocabulary all came from him and is unsure whether he should feel proud or not. 

Risotto

- “Oh... Okay, good for you.”

- He blurted the first thing in mind, because he was just so shock at how you responded. He hired you for being so patient and calm at all times and now looking back, he doesn’t really see himself thinking that one day you’ll be going off without stopping to breathe and stutter. 

- Don’t get him wrong, he actually thinks it’s awesome that you stood up for yourself like that, but just give him time to reel back to reality. He just never thought you’d explode that hard. 

Gelato and Sorbet

- “See Sorbet? I told you they’d snap eventually!” 

- The couple was immensely entertained at your empowering speech being quite the ego breaker and worse-fate-than-death threat. They adore it whenever they see a usually timid newcomer becoming unafraid to stand their ground and tell their oppressors off, it honestly feels like a proud parent thing for them to see their baby kid all grown up and kicking people in the guts with their words. 

- If you would want a rebound, they won’t hesitate to set someone up with you who is far better than your dog-faced ex because they know that people are barely worthy for you 

[kaypeace21]

Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

 - viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull."  This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma.  There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

-  I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities-  besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends).  Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather,  wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money).  Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3?  A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong  and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive  (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s  possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him:  no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie  ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister .  Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce  that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots.  Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was  r*ped by their dad/parent-  begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’,  ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies. 

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’  replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[echo-bleu]

hello! I saw one of your previous asks and I was wondering if I could ask you for some writing help too! I have an autistic character that i love, but I'm not sure how to convey that this character is autistic in a way that feel aunthentic and organic instead of stereotyped, specially since she's a girl and I haven't seen many (accurate) representations of autistic girls in the media. I've seen videos about autistic people and they've been very helpful on what not to do, but + I would still love

to get some of the 'do's' what i have so far is that she has a Fixation on the sea, she has a hard time reading sarcasm and/or emotions in others, and she has an overall seemingly 'detached' personality (even if I wouldn't call her that, since she cares about the people she loves, she's just bad at putting it into words). I jsut want to make sure i'm on the right path! thank you so much for listening and I hope this is not a bother!

Hi Anon! I’m not bothered at all and I’m happy to answer this kind of ask. As always, I can only speak for myself, but I’ll try to give you a few pointers. (The previous ask mentioned is this one.)

First, it’s lovely to hear about an autistic girl! I’m not sure if you’re speaking about an adult or a child/teenager, but either way, it can be interesting to read about how autism can look a bit different in women. The gender distinction that has often been made is something I don’t agree with because I feel that it’s an unnecessary shortcut, but a number of autistic people, in majority women and people socially perceived as female, learn to “adapt” more to neurotypical standards by masking their autistic traits a lot, and might not be detected as autistic until adulthood. Masking takes a lot of energy, which can translate as feeling “socially exhausted” all the time and lead to burnout. This article list traits that can be found that are less common and obvious. It is far from perfect imo, but it can give you new ideas!

You didn’t really say if your character is a main or a side character (which changes the amount of detail you’ll want to go into) but so far to me you seem to be on the right track! Having a hard time reading people is something a lot of us struggle with. It might not just be sarcasm, btw, understanding metaphors and jokes can also be hard. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have a sense of humor: it’s entirely possible to be able to use sarcasm and struggle with noticing it when it comes from other people, and a lot of autistic people have a very developed and specific sense of humor that can be seen as odd.

The “detached” personality is something you may have to handle with care because lack of empathy is a harmful stereotype. Maybe look up the difference between cognitive and affective empathy. Some of us do struggle with empathy, many of us struggle with expressing it in a way that’s comprehensible to neurotypicals, but it doesn’t mean that we lack it. It’s fine for your character to struggle with it, but be careful that she doesn’t end up seeming cold/robotic if she’s not the POV character.

Now for some “do’s”: I’m only going to talk about autistic traits here and assume that you’ve fleshed her out with an actual personality outside of her autism, just like you would any other character.

- I agree that it has to come up organically, but it would be a lot better in terms of representation to make her explicitly autistic, ie use the word autistic. It doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the story. If you’re in a fantasy setting or for some other reason you can’t use the actual word, then describing something like neurodiversity would be a good way to make it explicit. In fanfic, I personally think that tagging “autistic [character]” is enough if the fic is short(ish) and the word isn’t used in the story but the character’s autism is fairly clear, but in an original story, you don’t really have that possibility.

- Something I like to do when coming up with original autistic characters is to choose a few specific stims from them, that regularly come back in my descriptions. It falls under the same umbrella as choosing mannerisms, it gives characters their own specific flavor. You can choose a happy stim, a nervous stim and a bored stim, for example. Autistics stim a lot and in a lot of ways, but I think most of us have a few stims that come back often. It can be things like chewing on a toy/finger, flapping in a specific way, rocking on their heels, twirling hair, fidgeting with a toy or jewelry.

- Sensory differences. It’s also something that you can choose for your character: maybe she likes to listen to music very loudly, and often speak a little too loudly, or on the contrary she’s hyperacusic. She might wear sunglasses outside, or need lights on all the time. She might need subtitles to understand a movie, or be super distracted by sparkly things. She might not make eye contact, or make it too much, or seem to make it by looking somewhere close to the person’s eyes. She might find touch painful or difficult, or seek it constantly, or both (can depend on the moment, how tired she is, or if she trusts the person).

- Like I’ve said before, meltdowns/shutdowns are a delicate thing to portray if you’re not autistic yourself, but overloading can and does happen without going all the way to either of them. It’s actually fairly frequent, and happens when there is too much sensory (or emotional) stimuli at the same time or a too long day or something. From the inside, it can look like struggling to think, feeling like your skin is crawling, feeling like everything is too much, and struggling to initiate actions/figure out the steps to do something. From the outside, it can look like the person is rejecting touch, needs to isolate themself, is irritated, might struggle to speak/be very quiet. As long as the character isn’t mocked for their behavior, I think it’s something you can portray without too much risk.

- A specific interest about the sea is a nice idea! The sea is a very large subject, though, so she’ll probably have a predilection for some things. Is it water currents? Fish species? Underwater plants? Beaches? There’s a lot of options to choose from here.

- Maybe think about co-occuring conditions, because most of us have at least one. Some are very hard to distinguish from autism itself, like dyspraxia or ADHD, because they’re linked or similar to autistic traits. A lot of us are also disabled in some other way:  for example there’s a clear (though unexplained) link between autism and hyperflexibility, which can lead to joint pain, gut issues and chronic illnesses like EDS. Many of us have mental illnesses, growing up autistic in this world is honestly traumatizing and it’s hard to find autistics without some kind of C-PTSD or anxiety (on that subject, this post points out that the current diagnostic criteria can probably only diagnose traumatized autistic people anyway).

- A pretty good portrayal of an autistic girl (and to my knowledge the only one where the actor is also autistic) is Matilda in Everything’s Gonna be Okay. I didn’t actually watch until the end and I’ve been told the last episode isn’t great, but the start was pretty good. She’s a teenager, and at one point gets a girlfriend who is also autistic and has a service dog. In Elementary, while Sherlock is only autistic-coded, there is at one point (season 4 I believe) a recurring character named Fiona who I thought was a pretty good portrayal as well. She’s an adult, and she’s stereotypical in some ways but it’s better than most portrayals I’ve seen or read.

I would advise you to have a look through the blog @cripplecharacters. They answer asks about disabled characters, and I know they have answered a number of questions about autism and have at least one autistic mod. Their answers are usually very interesting!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 05 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.4 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

<- Previous part (04)

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Everything She Needs

Many tears cloud your sight when you see it. The cold gel doesn't even bother you anymore. With a bright smile on your lips, you squeeze Keanu's hand. The baby is just a tiny little thing, and you would never find it if it wasn't for the doctor.

“It's our baby.” You whisper, looking at Keanu. He has a small smile too, eyes on the screen.

“Well, we're done here.” The woman says, turning the equipment off and wiping the gel off you.

You're in the middle of week seven, and doctor Amanda Williams suggests a magazine so you can keep up with the development of the baby.

Keanu quickly signs up for the digital version and buys an e-book that explains week by week what happens with both the baby and your body. You're reading it on your new phone since the old one was destroyed in the accident, as Keanu drives you back home.

“On week seven, the baby is the size of a grape.” You read out loud, the tone of your voice raising a little on the last word. “So tiny.” Glancing at Keanu, you furrow your eyebrows. “We found about the pregnancy very early. The doctor said people usually find out around week six. We knew it back on week two.”

He takes a deep breath, eyes focused on the road. “We were planning it so when your period was just a little late, you decided to buy a test and it was positive.” Keanu sounds a little odd, and it makes you look away, reading the e-book to yourself.

Keanu has been weird since last week, but you've been in and out of the hospital, so you didn't have time to talk. Once you get home, you excuse yourself to take a shower, lingering in your bedroom for a while, lying down with a hand on your stomach. It has become a habit, and you've been starting to talk more with the baby too.

A few moments later you head downstairs, finding Keanu on the couch, watching TV. Shyly, you walk over to him, standing beside the couch. It doesn't take much until he notices you.

“What are you watching?”

“The news.” He answers, gesturing for you to sit down, and so you do.

But the silence is uncomfortable, and you don't understand why. You want to ask, but it feels like there's a huge wall separating both of you. It hits you suddenly that it maybe be some kind of crisis. Is it how your marriage ends? Because of you and a stupid accident? Taking one of the pillows, you hug it, breathing deeply and running a hand through your hair.

“Do you want to watch something?” Keanu suddenly asks, breaking the ice. Giving him a look, you nod. “Tell me what.”

“Uhm...” Sitting up straight, you can't help but feel a little better that he's talking to you. “What about that assassin movie you told me about?”

“Alright.” Keanu searches through his phone, and a few moments later he plays the movie on the TV.

Focusing on the film, you can't help but cry a little when some assholes kill the puppy. You try not to let him notice as you wipe some tears away. It's uncertain if the crying is just about the dog or if it's mixed up with everything else. The accident, the situation itself, and Keanu's weird behavior. The hormones are probably adding up too, so you fully crying in no time, watching as John Wick buries the dog in his garden.

“Are you alright?” Keanu asks, and you silently shake your head, eyes still on the screen. “If you're feeling bad we can–”

“I-I'm alright.” Clearing your throat, you try not to be bitter about it. He probably has a lot in his head, that's all. “It's just the dog.”

He nods, and you move away from him just a little. If he needs space, you will give it to him. But the movie takes you over bit by bit, and you're at the edge of your seat by the end, only relaxing when the credits start rolling. You were planning on letting him be, but the movie got you a little excited.

“That was amazing.” You exclaim, turning your body towards him. “You're absolutely awesome and I'm so glad he got Iosef.”

“I'm happy you enjoyed it.”

“Yeah... And you still keep the look.” With a small smile, you gesture at his hair and beard, pretty much the same he had on when playing John Wick. “I really like it.” You decide to say, hoping the low light, since the night is falling, will hide your blushing cheeks.

“That's why I keep it,” Keanu answers, the credits still rolling on the screen.

You lock eyes with him for a while, and you wait for him to look away, but he doesn't. Biting your lip, you pull both your legs up. “What now?” You ask in a low voice.

“There are two other movies.”

“Let's watch them.”

As much as the second movie is great, you're tired, and the fact that you decided to lie down doesn't help. You stay in a half curled position so your feet won't touch Keanu. Sleep starts taking over, and your eyelids get heavy. As you usually do whenever you're almost falling asleep, you place a hand on your stomach, eyes already closed as you try to at least listen to what's going on in the movie. Taking a deep breath, you move almost involuntary, searching for Keanu's hand, pulling it to your belly. The warmth makes you sink a little more into sleep, but when he removes the hand, you're fully awake.

Pushing yourself back to a sitting position, you just decided you can't take it anymore. You need to know what's going on. So you ignore the movie for a while, grabbing his forearm to get his attention. When his dark eyes find you, you sigh. “What's going on?” Your voice is weak, a whisper, and you wonder if he even heard you.

But when he pauses the movie, you know he did. “What do you mean?”

Running a hand through your hair, you feel a lump in your throat. “You've been... Distant. I...” Biting your lip, you look down. “I know everything is screwed up and maybe I'm a stranger to you too since everything... Everything inside me vanished and the girl you fell in love with is gone in a way but I... I'm trying. I'm trying to make things right somehow. I'm trying to remember and–” A sob escapes your lips, followed by some tears. You're feeling lost again, and as much as you're struggling to get used to Keanu, to the fact that you're married to the man, you feel like he's not. He's keeping a distance as if you were nothing to each other. “–and sometimes I fall asleep with my head just about to explode because I'm just trying so hard.” That's something you didn't want him to know, but the words are just coming out. “And it's alright if you want a divorce or something, I already told you that, just... Just don't do that.”

“(Y/N), I–”

“No, please, let me talk.” Clearing your throat and getting up to your feet, you pace around a little, just to catch your breath and maybe the blood flowing will help you think. “I want you to enjoy the pregnancy as well. I know I was put into this crazy situation, married with a child on the way, but we planned this. And I do want you to be part of it, Keanu. So just tell me what you want to do. If you want to break apart, that's alright. I'll still let you be part of everything, b-but if you still love me somehow, let's just... Let's try, you and I. Because I want to, I...” Covering your face with both your hands, you break down again, face already soaked in tears, sobs shaking your body.

His heart broke. Seeing (Y/N) like that, because of him, destroyed Keanu on a whole other level. He was just trying to give her space, not to make things worse, not to touch her, the woman he had nothing with, not to invade her space. He had no idea what he was causing, and if he did, he'd have a totally different approach. Part of him was hoping her memories would come back. Dr. Wright said the longer it takes, smaller are the chances. In the past two weeks, it was critical. If she was to remember, she's doing that on the following days. But she didn't. And Keanu was once again lost in guilt, confused, caught in between the truth and (Y/N)'s truth. Two different things entirely.

And he messed up. He was hurting her, instead of taking care of her.

“I'm sorry.” He mumbles, taking her hand. She pulls away, but he doesn't let go. Her teary eyes meet his, tears still flowing out. “I'm trying not to make you uncomfortable. I can only imagine what it might be to have a man around, wanting to be intimate with you. I am your husband, but I'm just afraid that in your mind I'll be just a stranger trying to take advantage of you.” He speaks slow, thumb caressing her soft skin.

“But I want to try, Keanu.” She whimpers, eyes on the floor. “Or maybe we're just like this? We're a distant couple and I–”

“We're not.” Keanu stands up, hands cupping her face, trying to wipe off some of the tears that don't stop rolling down. He can't let her feel like this. He promised to be with her, and she feels alone. Left aside. This might be a lie to him, the dirtiest lie Keanu had ever told, but to (Y/N), is her life. “We're in love. I'm in love with you. And I'm sorry it came out the wrong way.”

“I... I was reading that book to you and the baby is the size of a grape, it's so tiny and you didn't even...” She makes a pause, taking a deep breath. “It was so interesting and I really wanted to share it with you but you didn't seem like you cared so I just read it all by myself and I know I sound like an idiot, but I want this. I want to try. I don't want to break up a marriage that made both of us happy just because of my stupid brain is a freaking void.” The words come out fast, and (Y/N) covers up her face again.

God, he doesn't even know what hurts more. (Y/N) being so desperate because of him, or him knowing everything she believes in is a forgery. Gently, he pulls her hands down once again. “I'm sorry if I led you to believe that I'm not interested in our child.” How much he wishes it was true. Keanu knows he has to be careful not to fall into his only deceit. “I am. And I have no intention of divorcing you, we're in this together, beautiful, and we'll face it together.” He keeps his voice soft, looking into her sad eyes, shining from the light coming from the paused movie. “Now stop crying, alright?”

She nods, putting a strand of hair behind her ears. “So we're good? I mean... I want to try, i-if you wait a little bit, I'll–”

“I'd wait forever,” Keanu assures her, pulling the girl into his arms, strongly embracing her smaller figure. “Why don't you read the e-book for me?” Sliding his hand in between their bodies, he caresses her belly with the back of his hand.

He'll do it. He'll be her husband, he'll be everything she needs as long as she's happy. As long as she keeps showing him that wonderful smile.

Feeling a little better, you make your way back to the couch after going upstairs to get your phone. Running a hand through your hair, you settle down next to Keanu, closer to him this time, your folded legs only an inch from touching his. You're still a little unsure if he really wants to do this, but you start anyways, clearing your throat. “On week seven the baby is the size of a grape... But I already said that...” Eyes scannig through the words, you try to find the parts you found more interesting.

“It is tiny.” He says, and when you look up, his eyes are already set on you.

“Yeah.” Blushing a little, you focus on the cellphone screen again. “A delicate network of nerves starts spreading through the baby's body, and they will start to make constant little motions. Soon they'll be able to feel sensations like temperature and taste.”

“So they'll start moving.” He says, his giant hand laying on your stomach. “When will they start to kick?”

“Around twenty weeks. So it'll be a while until that.” Going through the pages, you sigh. “It says that I'll feel thirsty more often and that I should do some exercise.”

“We could walk around the condo every morning,” Keanu suggests and you put the phone away, throwing it behind your back.

“I'd like that.” You agree, shyly nodding.

“I–” He's interrupted by his phone beeping, signaling a text arrived. Or plenty, because it keeps beeping non-stop. He furrows his eyes and picks it from the coffee table, eyes moving through the screen.

“Something happened?”

“Lucia Davis.” He says, typing something down before looking back at you. Keanu seems worried suddenly, a little restless. “She... She was friends with your mother and she's coming to visit you next week.”

“That's good.”

“It is.”

“Then why do you look so... Troubled?” Moving a little closer, you touch his shoulder.

“I'm just worried it'll be too much for you. You just told me you're going to sleep with terrible headaches and I don't want anyone else who'll push you too hard.”

With a small smile on your lips, you decide to be a little brave, moving to place a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for worrying about me. But I'm fine, and if I'm not I'll let you know, I promise.”

He smiles too, caressing your chin with his index finger. “Alright. Now keep reading, there's still a lot we need to learn about our baby.”

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 23

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 23 - Child Ghost

Twenty minutes later, each of the three hooligans sat on the bench in the hospital corridor in a daze, each clutching a bottle of fresh orange juice. The nurse had just scolded them for disturbing the rest of the patients in the surrounding rooms, and they all looked a little bit ashamed. A-Yan's face had some colour brought back. After drinking a few sips of the drink, he calmly said: "I c-can't exorcise it completely. I can only figure out the source of this thing. Maybe it's a good thing that it's harder to expel."

Lin Yan asked what he meant, and the little Daoist priest explained: “As the saying goes, 'He who never wrongs others does not fear the knock in the night*.' Although this girl is weak from her illness, there must be other reasons why, out of so many other patients, this thing chose her. If we can find the reason, then maybe it will leave by itself."

*(T/N: 不做亏心事，不怕鬼敲门 - means if you've done nothing wrong, you don't have to worry about any retributions.)

"It-It keeps repeating 'Why haven't you come yet?' It may be a wandering spirit who hasn't fulfilled his dying wish. His Yin energy is very weak. He probably died not that long ago."

Lin Yan's heart skipped a beat. He suddenly thought of Xiao Yu, and couldn't help but reveal his recent doubts to the little Daoist priest. After a long while, he turned his head and looked at the ghost next to him, and whispered: "Last time, I was only concerned about getting rid of him. I never asked him anything."

A-Yan sat curled up in the chair and listened to Lin Yan while gnawing on the cap of the orange juice bottle. He looked like a kitten. He jolted up and said: "Ghosts are divided into different categories. Today, the one here can only manifest by attaching itself to a living person and it will disappear once that person dies. However, the one that follows you is very, very strong."

A-Yan continued: "A ghost has no form at first, but if the soul is resentful and the body is buried in a place where the atmosphere has heavy negative energy, it's very likely to turn into a powerful ghost. A ghost will cultivate for a hundred years with a phantom body and, after a long time, it will develop a real body. When they have a real body, they don’t have to resort to 'bump around' like today, and they can even move around in the daytime without fear of Yang energy. They aren't so much ghosts as they are demons or animals." A-Yan clenched his fingers: " The most difficult evil spirit to deal with is known as the true body of the ten thousand clans. It requires special formations, plus needs to be done at the right time and place, so there's not much room for error. Once a part of the process goes wrong, the exorcist is likely to be drowned by the energy, go insane and instead be harmed by the evil spirit."

"L-Last time the formation was set up, Master made a fake one to fool the ghost, and he found the gap in time he needed. Otherwise, if you wanted to eliminate him, I'm afraid that you would have to gather more than fifteen boys in a Mandarin Duck Formation to have any hope." A-Yan suddenly gave Lin Yan a strange smile: "That was because he had just re-entered the world and was still confused when we tricked him. Now, I'm afraid. . . Brother Lin Yan, at this point, he should have already remembered something, right?"

Lin Yan thought back on all the things that happened at the lecture and the ghost's increasingly human-like behaviour. He was secretly surprised; was this ghost really recovering his memory? He nodded and replied, "He told me lots of things the day of the lecture. He can talk, just not very much."

A-Yan smiled nervously: "Y-Your four-pillar pure Yin is the most suitable alignment to feed ghosts. The longer he follows you, the more physical he'll become, and the more he'll remember."

"But. . ." A-Yan looked into the distance with a glaze in his eyes, his fingers tightly squeezed the drink bottle. He turned back and grinned at Lin Yan: "Be very careful."

"All I can say is that every action has a reaction, and I can't help you with anything at that point."

He didn’t know why, but Lin Yan felt that the way the little Daoist priest spoke seemed to imply something. Feeding ghosts. . . Lin Yan harshly inhaled the hospital’s air mixed with the smell of disinfectant and frowned. “Let's not talk about it. We have to save A-Zhou's cousin first and figure out the reason for the possession. Do you have to find out who the deceased is first?"

A-Yan nodded. Yin Zhou held his glasses, a little confused: "We don't have much time left. Dozens of people die in hospitals every month. We don't have time to go through each of them individually."

Lin Yan sighed: "That's no other option. Go and pull up the records of everyone who's died recently in the hospital. Maybe there's a clue somewhere."

After all, there were several people now that were exhausted from the attempted exorcism, paralyzed on the bench and not wanting to move. Lin Yan discreetly adjusted his position. Xiao Yu suddenly walked over to him, squatted down and grabbed his knees with both hands.

Lin Yan turned his face and snorted. "Weren't you ignoring me?"

Xiao Yu didn't answer. He gently lowered his head and put the side of his face on Lin Yan's knees, long hair cascading behind him like a waterfall. Lin Yan instinctively wanted to reach out his hand to touch his head, then he thought that he was probably still angry, so he put on an indifferent air and cold expression, not acknowledging him.

After a while, Xiao Yu raised his head. He pressed his hands firmly against Lin Yan's legs, stood up, turned and walked further down the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Lin Yan asked in a low voice. Seeing that he didn't answer, he had to follow a few steps behind. Xiao Yu quietly returned to the door of Xiao Yang's room and went straight through the door panel. Lin Yan was full of doubts. Peeking carefully through the door glass, he saw that Xiao Yang's mother was tired from crying and was sitting on the side of the bed, dozing off with her arms propping up her forehead. The girl, on the other hand, waited by the window again in the same manner as when Lin Yan had first arrived.

Xiao Yu walked to the girl's back and patted her shoulder lightly. What happened next left Lin Yan dumbfounded. The girl with her rolled-back eyes turned around and quietly "looked" at Xiao Yu, showing a normal human on her face for the first time. The corners of her mouth were pulled downward, a look of aggravation painted clearly on her face. Xiao Yu was tall, so he simply squatted in front of the girl and stroked her hair very softly. They were talking, and Lin Yan's eyes widened. Although he could not hear them, their expressions and slightly moving lips convinced him that they were indeed communicating in a language he didn't understand.

The little Daoist priest and Yin Zhou also followed at this time. They curiously holding the windowpane and looking in. They couldn't help but be shocked by the girl's appearance now.

"She's talking to herself?" Yin Zhou was surprised: "What's she saying?"

"Mortuary language." The little Daoist said in a deep voice. "The language used in ancient rituals to communicate with the dead."

Lin Yan looked at the harmonious picture in the room, unconsciously picking at the crack of the door. He grit his teeth and indignantly thought you're Xiao Yu. At home, you're fierce and want to kill me, yet you go talk to a young girl with such a tender look. You just look at such a pretty young girl that I don’t want to let it go. Zhu Xi's Neo-Confucianist teachings have really gone to the dogs. It’s useless for you to think about it. I decided ages ago. When she's a few years older, I'll take her to watch movies and visit the amusement park. Let's see what you can do. . .

"Hey? Are you going to follow him inside?" Yin Zhou patted Lin Yan on his shoulder. Lin Yan had been distracted internally cursing Xiao Yu, and he was so frightened that the hairs on his neck stood on end.

"Holy shit, when did you get here? Were you trying to scare me to death by keeping quiet?!" Lin Yan grumbled, clutching his heart.

"Did you really not hear me talking so loudly before?!" Yin Zhou said in surprise: ". . . Why are you blushing?"

A-Yan smiled and gave Lin Yan a deep look, not making a sound.

The conversation in the room seemed to be over. Xiao Yu stood up. He leaned over and rubbed the top of the girl's head and walked out. Xiao Yang reluctantly turned and stood by the window again. Lin Yan gritted his teeth and waited outside. He internally decided he wouldn't fall for any more of his tricks considering he seemed to do them with anyone. . .

Xiao Yu had already returned to stand in front of him while he was distracted. Lin Yan turned his face away from him in anger, but Xiao Yu didn't care. He took out the memo and the soft-tip fountain pen Lin Yan had bought from his pocket and began to write.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Yin Zhou looked at the pen and paper hanging in the air and stared in shock.

Xiao Yu shoved the note into Lin Yan's hand, then retreated to stand behind him. Lin Yan looked down. The light green note had two lines written on it. The first line was a series of capitalized numbers: "Three-Five-One-Zero-Zero-Four." The second line was a sentence: "He's waiting for his father."

"Father?" Yin Zhou looked at the words on the note and suddenly clapped his hands: "Hey, I got it, no wonder it came to Xiao Yang. Xiao Yang's mother is a single parent. My uncle passed away last year. I came to the hospital to watch her overnight last week and heard her say she missed her dad and it felt like he was still there with her. . . Then what does that row of numbers mean?"

Lin Yan was also puzzled holding the note. When he asked Xiao Yu, he shook his head and didn't speak. Lin Yan couldn't help muttering, "What the hell? You touched her head and smiled for a long time without asking anything. . . It’s not because the little girl looks good..."

"A g-ghost's memories are incomplete. They can only remember what they want. It would be nice if they can remember the numbers." A-Yan suddenly opened his mouth, his eyes sharply focused towards Lin Yan. Lin Yan's face grew hot, and he hurriedly lowered his head to cover it up. He explained to him that he was searching for people, why did his mind take such a strange turn. . .

That being said, why did he always get distracted by a dead person? This isn't going to work, no. Lin Yan secretly squeezed his fist.

Yin Zhou saw that the two of them were acting strangely. He crossed his hands behind his head and looked around in the corridor. When he saw the computer in front of the nurse on duty at the staircase, his eyes suddenly lit up, and he whistled frivolously: "Look, dude. Time for some fun."

With Lin Yan's girl-pleasing good looks and Yin Zhou's series of honeyed compliments, the three stooges quickly got their hands on the nurse's sister's computer. Yin Zhou stared at the screen intently. His fingers flew across the keyboard and the mouse clicked rapidly. After 15 minutes, the corners of his mouth stretched upward. His whole body suddenly leaned back in the swivel chair. He squinted his eyes and exclaimed: "Done. Turns out the info comes from this hospital. Makes it much more convenient not having to check other systems."

Lin Yan leaned in front of the computer, and the homepage showed: "351004, Zhou Jintian, male, 11 years old, died on May 11. Cause of death: internal organ rupture causing extensive abdominal hemorrhaging." A scanned copy of the body claim form was attached below. In the lower right corner where the family members signed, the family name was written in two large characters: "Zhou Mo" with a small red seal next to it.

"From the deceased's information from the database, this line of numbers is the bed number from the morgue." Yin Zhou touched his head: "This ghost is a child. No wonder he's standing by the window all the time, waiting for his father to pick him up from school."

Lin Yan took a picture of the page with his phone. He smiled and pushed the back of Yin Zhou's head: "Good job."

At the spicy and sour noodle shop across from the hospital.

Lin Yan always disliked eating near hospitals. He always feels that there were grieving patients’ families and infectious bacteria floating everywhere, but these spicy and sour noodles were particularly famous. Lin Yan drove the car for a while, and after a lengthy internal struggle, he turned back. Lin Yan scooped a spoonful of spicy soup and was satisfied that a delicious dinner was definitely worth it.

The little Daoist priest left for a shift in the restaurant where he worked. Yin Zhou stayed in the hospital to see the patient and verify the information. Lin Yan sat alone at the snack bar, a greasy orange plastic table with two bowls of spicy and sour noodles in front of him. One was placed in front of him, and the other was pushed to the opposite side. The "person" only he could see was sitting in the opposite chair with his face turned sideways in a daze. It seems that the ghost really didn't need to eat. Lin Yan sighed and asked in a low voice: "You don't eat or sleep, you follow me every day, aren't you tired?"

Xiao Yu ignored him. His slender fingers propped up his chin, and the outline of his side face looked very beautiful in the dimming daylight. The table was near the window, and the warm yellow halo of the street lamp brushed over the bridge of his nose. His skin looked as fine as porcelain. It felt like porcelain too, icy cold.

Things were still awkward.

"Excuse me, can I borrow the chair? We don't have enough." A childish male voice sounded and Lin Yan raised his head. A boy dressed as a high school student was holding the back of Xiao Yu's chair. He saw Lin Yan looked confused and pointed to the boys and girls chatting at a large table next door. The girls were wearing heavy makeup, the boys wearing ear studs, their school uniforms covered in black and blue pen doodles. There were so many people in the store that they were missing several chairs.

"Someone's using it." Lin Yan replied quietly.

"I know you've been sitting here for a while, no one's there." The boy was unyielding.

"If I say someone's there, someone's there, and if they aren't there now, they will be later." Lin Yan was a little impatient.

"Nutjob, it's just a chair, why so angry?" The boy muttered. Before leaving, he rolled his eyes at Lin Yan.

"Sorry." Lin Yan mumbled to the boy's back. He wasn't sure why. No one could see Xiao Yu, which always made him a little anxious. Lin Yan hesitated and for the first time took the initiative to reach out and touch Xiao Yu's statue-like fingers and whispered, "It's lonely, isn't it? Of all the people in the world, I'm the only one who can see you and I treat you badly."

[nikstersss]

Not How To Pass The PLE

Before I go into the main gist of this post, let me give you a small background story. I was a mid-year post-graduate intern in Manila who started in January 2021. I lived alone in our condo unit near the hospital I went to. My usual routine was to get up early, prep, take a short walk to the trike station where I’d take a tricycle to the hospital, go on duty, insert a coffee or carioca break in between, walk all the way home at the end of the day, then maybe have a short study session with a couple friends after dinner or just chill at home. It was a pretty good setup. But then COVID happened. Suddenly, I was a pandemic e-ntern stuck at home listening to Zoom endorsements and lectures all day. At first I was hopeful that things would somehow go back to normal and maybe I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my internship in front of a screen, but we all know how that turned out. 

I finished the first half of my internship with the regular year PGIs online. While they were prepping for their boards, I was on my second half with the new batch of interns (that’s probably you, dear reader)—still online. Now you might think that it would have been wise of me to use all that “free” time to start early with my own boards prep and you would be correct. I thought the exact same thing. And trust me, I tried. And failed. Countless times. I won’t even try to justify it. Admittedly, I still think it was a wasted opportunity to read more and make notes, but then again, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Besides, while it would have been nice and probably less stressful, I still survived without it. Which means that you can, too. So if you’re one of those who’s berating himself because you “didn’t make the most out of your time”, cut it out. You’ll be fine.

Towards the end of my internship, I enrolled in a review center. Despite the asynchronous setup, the review schedule was super tight and the sessions already started while I was still in the middle of final reports and exams. Needless to say, I was already behind on that before it even began. In fact, I didn’t even get to focus on reviewing itself until maybe around early February because of clearance, paperwork, and application stuff. So if you were to ask me how long I really reviewed for the March 2021 boards, I’d say just a little over a month. Kasalanan ko. Wag po tularan. Stressful siya. Nakakaloka. 

And even when I did get to really buckle down and do some intense reading, I didn’t follow the program anymore. I tried to catch up at first, but I was already way behind. But I am grateful for all the summarized material because that meant I didn’t have to pore over the mother books anymore. What I will say, though, is that because I didn’t exactly follow the recommended study hours etcetera, I was able to enjoy the whole process because I did it at my own pace. Sure, there was still that dread that maybe I wasn’t on the same level as the others, but I learned to tune those thoughts out eventually. And that’s where goal-setting and discipline comes in, I guess. 

The most common question I’ve been getting is what was my day like during the PLE review season. Honestly, I’d like to say I had a routine I followed, but that’s only half-true. While I did have a structure for my day, I rarely followed it exactly. Nevertheless, allow me to share what it would have been like if I did: 

Ideally, I’d wake up at 5:00 A.M. then do my morning routine which included prayer and meditation, making my bed, taking a shower, and brewing coffee. And because I’m the type of person who enjoys these mundane activities and slow mornings, I also took this opportunity to get myself in the zone before all the studying that’s to come. I’d plan out my study goals and outline (something you can do the night before, actually) then maybe have breakfast while watching some videos (could be review-related, or those self-motivational vids, or maybe even Korean street food). I’d do whatever I wanted to wake my brain up without stressing it out too much until around 6:30 A.M. By this time, I’d work on backlogs for about an hour and study until about 10 or 11 A.M.—it depends how in the zone I am. I’d prep and cook lunch and then eat while watching Netflix maybe or even play a bit of Fortnite or Paladins until about 1:00 P.M. At this point, I’m pretty certain to be quite sleepy so it’s either I make coffee or tea, or maybe even go out to study at a coffee shop, and then it’s study all the way until 7 P.M. I then take a break to get some exercise, take a shower, have a light dinner, and if I feel like I deserve it, nap for a little bit. At around 8:30, my family usually calls and then we pray the rosary together. After this, I study again, but more of a recall and review session for the day’s progress until about 11:30. I then have my night self-care routine and then go to sleep around midnight. 

The main takeaway from the previous paragraph? “Ideally.”

During the first few days of setting up my schedule or routine, following it was already challenging, but still doable. But then the backlogs started piling up and no matter how much I tried to streamline the whole study process, I just couldn’t keep up. I did what I could to follow study habits and schedules, but the setup was falling apart. And you know what? That was okay. 

Normally, my type A self would have been so frustrated already with how poorly I was handling my review season. Admittedly, there were a few meltdowns and anxiety attacks as the exam drew nearer, but for the most part, I just let things happen as they did. I still adjusted, sure, but I wasn’t hard on myself for always having to. I kept changing goals when I didn’t meet them (which was probably 80% of the time). There were even instances where I’d finish a handout and then I’d say that okay, I’ll watch an episode for a reward, but that episode became the entire season. While I considered myself to be the most chill reviewee, I also thought I was the worst because I refused to give up any of my wants for my needs. I resisted, of course, but then they’d bug me the entire time I was studying so instead of staying productive, I’d just annoy the hell out of myself. I was probably just lazy and stubborn. LOL. Long story, short, it was a constant battle. 

There were times when I felt confident enough to power through the whole thing. I enjoyed the whole process of studying, actually. Making notes and my own ways of memorizing things was fun. I made use of different study strategies, self-checks, and motivational boosters (more on these on a different post). Aside from these, having review-mates who were just a chat away made things bearable. Breakdown session muna tas aral na ulit. And how could I forget all my sweet friends who would send over coffee ayuda every now and then? To me, passing the boards, while mainly should be for oneself and one’s self-actualization, is also about not letting down these people who have been with you throughout your journey. 

But it wasn’t always a hyped-90s-movie-transformation-montage kind of environment. Other times, I was just worn out and dejected by my lack of progress. In the already meager time I had to study, I still had plenty of off-days. Concepts just wouldn’t stick and it was disappointing how I’d already forgotten what I just read a couple days ago. It got really tiring even if I was staying indoors all the time. I missed the comfort of coffee shops and the company of study buddies. I missed my family. I wanted to hug our dog. There were days when I couldn’t even bring myself to make coffee and open my notes. I even reached a point where I was sure that I wouldn’t finish reading all the material. (I kid you not, I have handouts I never got to open.) 

Yet here I am. Here I am writing about how I survived all that and got those two letters attached to my name. I am not a good example, obviously. There are hundreds better than me and you probably should be taking advice from them instead. I’m simply writing this to tell you that you don’t have to worry. This is all just to ease your anxieties about the PLE. I’m not saying it’s an easy feat that you can just achieve just like that. While I seemed rather complacent, I still put in the work, after all. Admittedly, I know I could have done more, but again, I’m not going to dwell on that anymore. It’s done. 

My goal in writing this is to let you know, my dear future doctor, that you’re going to be just fine. Here’s someone who understands the huge disconnect that stemmed from being a pandemic e-ntern. Here’s someone who’s always been doubtful and full of anxieties about the PLE even before she filed her application at the PRC. Here’s someone who constantly prayed that the PLE be moved even for just a month (or kahit two weeks lang masaya na ako nun) up to the week before the exam along with a rising number of cases. Here’s someone who barely has the capability to maintain focus for more than an hour. Here’s someone whose reading pace was literally at 10 minutes per page (yes, I actually timed it and IDK if that’s slow or really slow). Here’s someone who still allowed herself to study at coffee shops and even have samgyup (with proper health protocols, of course) even if she knew she was drowning in backlogs. 

My point is that if I managed to pass despite all that, you can, too. My close friends know that I developed a rather funny mentality to ease the jitters as the boards drew nearer. I knew and claimed it for myself that I would already pass. I viewed the whole PLE as just a “formality”--a means for His plans of me becoming a doctor to manifest in this realm. I believed it so much to the point that I thought that no matter what bloopers and slip-ups I have during the test, I’d still see my name on the list of board passers. I’m not saying you should totally ease up and just have a come-what-may attitude. Again, I’m not the model student you should be following here. What I’m saying is to have faith in yourself, your capabilities, and in God. So chin up, Doc. Just a little more ‘til you get to legally practice with that MD at the end of your name.

[cosmiciaria]

Assassin’s Creed Unity Review/honest thoughts/discussion - SPOILERS (long post)

So I decided to finally settle on a proper review – although this one is going to be more of what here in Argentina we call a "sincericidio": basically I will spit my guts out and cry in one corner, while being completely honest about my feelings. I will try to keep most spoilers at bay, like I always do, but there's just one thing I cannot not talk about which is THE spoiler so – I want you to be considered warned.

Before I start, I should state, since this is my review and reviews are quite personal actually, why this game is so important to me and why I wanted to play it so bad. There's a combination of factors, and obviously this game isn't going to strike the same chords with everyone, so bear in mind that this is strictly subjective and, right now, personal.

First factor and I think the most important one: I like writing. Wait, don't leave the review just yet. I like writing and creating characters. I have many. Lately I've been revisiting a character that had a very sad backstory and added quite long happy ending for him. I made him fall in love again. He's black haired, wears a short pony tail… his new love interest is a redhead with wavy hair… ok, you get me now, don't you? And what's worse, is that their story takes place in a fictional world that resembles quite much Europe of 1800's. So clothes and ballrooms and palaces and big, fluffy dresses are a thing in this story of mine. I think that, if you've ever created a character, to find another fictional, similar character in any medium is going to draw your attention to that product right away. It did happen to me with Cal Kestis from SW Jedi: Fallen Order, I have another redhead baby boy that needs to be protected at all costs. It's a way for us to 'see', let's say, or imagine our characters being brought to life.

Second factor: I love Paris. I visited Versailles and Paris back in late 2018, and I went there with zero expectations, only to fall in love with France. I love the Château de Versailles. I love palaces. I love the Seine. I love the Louvre. I love it. All of it. If I could, I'd live there. Sadly, I'm poor and speak little to no French at all.

Third Factor: I'm learning French! I dream with the day I can speak like five languages as well as I speak English (I studied it for ten years so… it kinda makes sense that I feel comfortable with it). I'm still struggling with French, but I will get there someday. I will. Because I love it. I love the language. Oui.

Fourth factor: I also really really, really like the French Revolution, and I've never, much to my surprise, watched or played any series, videogame, movie or anything that takes place in such a context (if you have recommendations, please drop them right away!). And I say "to my surprise" because I really like that part of History! So, to live in almost first person how the French Revolution unfolded – to hear the chansons and to see people gathered in crowds at every corner, listening to a liberty preacher wielding the French flag – that was glorious.

Fifth and yeah we're done: I love Les Misérables. I know it happens way later than the French Revolution, but since this musical (and the 2012 movie) became my 'home', I can't help but feel a stronger connection with everything I said above. I can watch that movie over and over and I will still sing Empty chairs and empty tables with tears in my eyes, despite its flaws.

I had like every reason to play this game. And it paid off.

Before plunging into it, I did read the novelization. Sadly, it was only to satisfy my soon-to-be-fulfilled obsession with the game, since I don't think the quality of the narration was, uhm, that good – it felt like you needed to have played the game before reading it. And I get it, it's a videogame adaptation, that's fine, but when you look at it as standalone book, it doesn't stand alone that good. What disappointed me, though, wasn't the narration, which was what I totally expected it to be, nor the dialogues or the ending – it was Élise. I was bit weary about this because she came across as completely different character than what I had in mind about her, and I didn't like her. At all. In the book, at least. I didn't like her because she had a few comments and took some decisions that made her look like she was stupid and/or selfish. I can understand the selfish part; I do not want to even believe that she's stupid. So that's why the book was a bit of a letdown for me. I recommend it, though, if you're a fan, because there's a book exclusive character that really gets the plot moving and he's endearing: Mr. Weatherall. Oh, what a man.

Now, regarding the game itself – it shouldn't come as a surprise that I thoroughly enjoyed it. As I've stated in another post, this game is barely an Assassin's Creed, since you delve like zero into the AC lore, and it's just an excuse for your character – Arno – to know parkour. Which in fact he knows before becoming an assassin, so it begs the question, why is this game even in this franchise? I digress. It's an AC game at the end of the day and that won't change.

But do not jump into this game expecting it be your average AC story. I firmly believe that the creators wanted to convey a different story here. For starters, Arno is no hero. Arno doesn't want to save the world. Arno doesn't care about any artifact or magic or creed. Arno only wants to discover who's the man behind De La Serre's death. That's his main driving force. And behind that, there's this undeniable and yet quite destructive feeling that pulls him forward: Élise.

Élise and Arno's relationship goes deeper into this story than it's noticeable at first glance. When you look back upon the plot, you discover that without their love 'subplot', there's no plot at all. If I may be so bold, I would even argue that Arno's story is a tragic love story. All the assassin's lore, all the betrayals, the first few assassinations, it all falls back into the background when Élise returns to the stage almost halfway through the game. And even though they only share like one kiss or two during the 40 hours of gameplay, there's still this latent, persistent motivation behind each of Arno's actions, that he wouldn't be doing what he's doing if it wasn't for Élise.

And it all comes down to that one line: What I wanted was you.

I cannot stress enough how much I loved all of the drunkard memory of Versailles. I think it embodies Arno's perfect character development. The constant rain and the bluish filter on every framerate added to the overall depressing atmosphere. I felt miserable while playing those quests, and the moment he steps out into the entrance of the Château de Versailles and reflects on his past decisions – decisions that have been stolen from him, because he could never defend himself nor change the course of actions on his own accord – that exact moment that he sits down and cries, I cried too.

Because all the game, all the memories, all the dialogues go in a crescendo only to crumble into this abyss. And this, in turn, creates a fleshed-out character, with a believable development, believable feelings, believable motivations. I can feel for Arno, I can understand him, I pity him, and I want to hug him. The whole game reaches its peak in its main character's worst moment: when he realizes that he's screwed everything up.

And not always do we get a story where the main character doesn't win. He just doesn't. Underneath its revolutionary streets, this story reeks of inexorability and fatality. You know it, you know it in the back of your head, but you push that thought apart because you want to enjoy jumping over rooftops and finding the best strategy to kill that man. There's this underlying, looming melancholy in every memory that you play in, and that's why the end doesn't surprise us.

It makes us cry, of course, but it didn't come as a surprise at all. If you're shocked about the end, then you haven't been paying enough attention to Élise's dialogues, to the tone of the story, to her letters, to where this plot was going. Because, like I said, the story is about Arno and Élise's relationship, it isn't about defeating the bad guy. And there was only one way that story could end.

*cries in French*

*Je pleure beaucoup*

I know the game has been panned by players for its performance. And being the 2020 year of our lord, I cannot say I reject those allegations, since it's been 6 years since the game was released. I hope enough patches were implemented to salvage the bugs. I only came across one bug in my entire playthrough which bothered me a little: some NPC's would sometimes pop into cutscenes and phase through the characters like nothing. At first it was funny, but then towards the end it happened two more times, in important cutscenes with our lovely couple, which kinda destroyed all immersion, if you know what I mean. The rest was fine: it never crashed on me, I didn't encounter the infamous, horrendous bug that unleashed memes in internet, never a T-pose or something that rendered the game unplayable – nothing, only that funny bug I mentioned. I did see the drop in framerates, specially in very crowded areas – but to be honest I never saw a game with so many NPC's together in the same place, like, hundreds of them, each with unique animations and varied models. I only come from playing Syndicate, and even there the number of NPC's was lower. Here is jarringly unreal, I didn't know the French Revolution was THIS jam-packed with people!

On a graphical department, this 2014 game still holds up. Very well. I think it even looks better in some scenes than some of its successors. The cutscenes were sometimes very cinematographic, with close ups, zoom outs, certain angles, with quite real lighting and shadows. I know it's not Naughty Dog and it doesn't have the whole Sony battalion behind, but damn if some of the character's expressions were really good. It didn't happen often, so when one of them had this very specific face I was like *insert surprised pikachu meme*.

I also enjoyed the music a lot. I don't know why but the one from the main menu stuck with me for a while. All of the songs have this Versailles, aristocratic tone to it which put me in the mood.

I have only one minor complaint and its entirely optional, let's say – I want to platinum this game. But I don't own PS plus, because it's, uhhh, expensive in my country (do not want to indulge in dollar exchange rates right now). And there are like two trophies only obtainable through multiplayer, which renders my trophy hunt useless. But, alas, I knew this before buying the game. I think that games shouldn't come with multiplayer trophies for the platinum. If you have to pay extra for something, it must be completely optional. And so should be the trophies related to it. It's a bit disappointing, though, because after finishing this game I want so bad to return to it, but if I can't platinum, I don't see myself coming back to it soon. Either way, I could still earn the rest of the trophies, but that would only enrage me more when the last 3% is going to be locked forever *cries again*.

All in all, my major question at the end is: why does this game receive so much hate? I guess if I came from a hardcore fan standpoint I could understand it more. If I had played all its predecessors before this one, I would also feel that the gameplay and the objectives are repetitive. That the challenges are bs. But the stealth aspect has been improved, the parkour has been redesigned and adapted, and as of now, bugs aren't a problem anymore. I want to believe that when a remaster for the PS5 comes out or, I don't know, if someone by divine grace has an epiphany in the near future regarding this game, people will change their mind on this one and will appreciate more what it wanted to be, than what they made it to be. After all, this is Arno's story. Arno's tragic love story.

Also this game is beautiful JUST LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT!!! 

Sorry couldn’t help myself

[ithehellisbucky]

Alpine

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: None

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Fluff fluff fluff. Mentions of someone being hurt and brief discussion about the mistreatment of a cat.

Author’s Note: I haven’t written in so long, I’m so sorry. I suck at fluff apparently, which is a good note. It’s pretty short, sorry about that. Enjoy!

~

James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier. The White Wolf. Deadly assassin. Cat person.

This was a secret if you've ever seen one. A shame, constantly hanging over Bucky's head. But you honestly thought it was cute as hell. 

I mean, come on, he's the scariest dude you'll ever meet; but once you break through his surface he's the opposite of terrifying. He's like a burnt marshmallow, rough on the outside and soft on the inside.

So, when you saw his face light up as you walked by a pet store, you set your plan in motion. You are going to get Bucky a cat for his birthday, even if it kills you.

~

It was March 3rd, exactly a week before his birthday when your plan was set in motion. Presents were wrapped, plans were made, and all for the incredible payoff of jack shit.

A pair of socks and a new shirt, absolutely nothing. But the cat, the cat was everything. It was going to seal the deal. It was going to make this the best birthday ever.

His name was Alpine. The cat that Bucky had looked at every day when you passed the glass window. Alpine. A white, scrawny, orphan cat. Not a kitten, but a cat. A cat that would at least make Bucky's day, if not his year.

In the days leading up to Bucky's birthday, you slowly got everything in order. Bought more towels, blankets, and even cat food. Everything was in order, now, and all you needed was the cat.

~

March 10th. Bucky's birthday. The day he simultaneously loved and hated. In one way it reminded him of his life in the 30s, and in the other wasy it did the same, yet only it shone light on a different perspective.

You snuck out of bed at 8 AM. You were positive that Bucky would probably freak out if he woke up to an empty bed, so you wrote him a sweet note that said you were picking up a last-minute gift for him.

It was like something out of a spy movie; you wore a hoodie and sunglasses, in case Bucky went out on a morning run and spotted you (definitely not for the thrill of pretending you were in a James Bond movie).

First, you went to the pet store, not the shop where Alpine stayed, but at a giant pet store. You bought all the things that you couldn't easily smuggle into your apartment. Kitty litter, a crate, a collar, and a tiny little cat toothbrush that was far cuter than a toothbrush had any right to be.

After picking up all of the necessities, you drove to the pet shop. A smile spread onto your cheeks when you saw who was at the window.

It was Bucky, sweating like a pig from what you assumed was his early morning run. He was peering into the window and had a giant smile on his face as his lips formed baby talk (or cat talk I guess, but you assumed it sounded the same).

Waiting for a few minutes to enter the store was no problem, it would all be worth it to see Bucky have that same smile on his face, all day long. 

Once Bucky left the window, you instantly rushed into the store. The woman at the counter had a cheery (if not enthusiastic) look on her face, and you hoped that her service would be as great as her smile.

"Hi, I'm (y/n) Barnes, we spoke on the phone." You exclaim to the woman with a smile.

"Of course, you were seeking to adopt Alpine the cat; correct?" She returned with a grin.

"Yes, that is me," you pull out your ID to show her. 

"Great, it seems like you have most of the paperwork already filled out, if you could just fill out these few forms you'll be all set to take Alpine home." She cheerfully responded.

"Thank you so much." You reply, taking the clipboard she was handing you into your clutches.

It only took about 10 minutes to fill out the forms, and once you handed them to the woman at the counter she looked over them and then said: "Congratulations Mrs. Barnes, you are now a proud pet parent. Do you have a crate to take home Alpine, or would you like to purchase one."

"I have one, if you wouldn't mind that I pop into my car and go grab it." You could barely contain your excitement, just because this gift was for Bucky’s birthday it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a present for you as well.

You ran to your car at an almost lightning-fast speed, practically walking on sunshine the whole way there.

Once you got back into the store, the clerk was standing right next to the window. On your side of the glass, there were boxes with all the cats and dogs. It was positioned in a way where the side facing the street and the side facing you was glass. The two adjacent walls were made out of wood painted grass green, and the top was open.

There were several pillows and a water bowl in there, and he seemed slightly malnourished. "He was a rescue." The woman exclaims.

"Hm?" You ask, you were too busy looking at Alpine to register what she was saying.

"His old home abused him, eventually animal control found out and rescued him. They put him in a shelter for a couple of weeks, but he was too scared to eat or interact with any of the other cats, so we thought it would be much safer and healthier to have him live here until he got adopted."He's a pretty traumatized cat; we've only had him in for about a month, and he's not a great eater. If you do decide to adopt him, you're going to have to do a lot of work to keep him happy and healthy. I would completely understand if you didn't want to adopt him now, we have several other kittens that would be great for you and your husband."

You didn't have to think at all, you already knew your response. "No thank you, my husband walks past this shop at least once every day, and he loves Alpine. Every time he comes here, his mood instantly brightens. He's been through some shit, and so has Alpine. I think that they could help each other."

Your gaze averted from the woman and down to the white cat in front of you. 

"Alright then, I'll open the crate and you can pick him up and put him there." She exclaimed. 

The moment your fingers touched his fur, the entire world became bleached in sunshine. His fur wasn't soft by any means, but that didn't matter to you. It was obvious that he wasn't taken care of that well, and you felt yourself developing more and more resentment for anyone who helped this beautiful cat become as scared and hurt as he was.

You carefully picked Alpine up and wrapped your arms around him in a way that you hoped made him feel protected. Half-expecting him to freak out and scratch you through your shirt, you were pleasantly surprised when he did none of those things. He just simply cuddled himself closer to your chest.

"He's perfect." You whispered under your breath, just enough to make the women smile lightly.

Gently placing Alpine in the crate, you smile at his small paws prodding around the new space. He mews, and your eyes light up even more.

"Thank you so much," You exclaim with a smile to the shopkeeper.

"No problem, give me a call if you have any problems." You grin, and shake her hand.

You pick up the crate, and Alpine starts mewling at the shaking space around him. "It's okay," Reaching down to put your hand at the opening you smile when he rubs his face against your fingers.

When you walk out the door you wave at the shopkeeper. The two of you make eye contact and exchange a smile. 

As you walk back to your car you try to move as carefully as you can to not swing around the crate too much. When you reach the car you gently put the crate in the back seat. Even though you may want for him to sit next to you in the passenger seat, you know that he could get hurt.

~

When you got home, you asked the old lady named Cynthia in the apartment next to yours to watch Alpine for a little while, just long enough for you to keep Bucky's surprise going.

"Hey baby," You exclaimed as soon as you walked in through the door to your apartment.

Bucky was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book as he ate cereal. You internally winced when you realized that in your haste you had forgotten to make him a special breakfast, or at least picked up some donuts from Krispy Kreme. Bucky would never expect you to cook for him, but it still made you feel bad that he was eating cereal on his birthday.

"Hey doll, how are you doing today." You smile and walk up to him, scooting his chair back and moving to straddle his lap. 

"I'm doing okay, how about you?" You ask, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"I'm doing great now." He says with a chuckle. "I was a little bit concerned when I came home and you weren't here, but it's all good."

"Sorry, I was picking you up a present." You kiss him on the lips again.

"Can I open it right now?" He asks, moving in to kiss your neck.

You laugh, and simply respond with, "I'm not your present Bucky, I think you'll like the one I am getting you a whole lot more."

"Nonsense, you being here with me is a gift of itself, everything else is just confetti."

"Awww, baby." You tilt your head to get a better look at the adorable fluffball in front of you. "I am getting you a real present though, and I think you'll like it a lot.

"So... Do you want to unwrap presents now?" 

"Sure, sounds fun." Bucky is trying to play cool, but you can see through his eyes that he’s excited.

"Alright, I'm gonna run into the bedroom and grab them really fast, then we can open them. We'll open the rest of the presents tonight at Pepper's house."

Inside of the closet where you stashed the shirt and socks you giggle thinking about the stunt that you're about to pull on Bucky.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Bucky, happy birthday to you!" You walk in carrying the two presents in your hand, and Bucky looks almost happier than you've ever seen him before. 

Once you set both of the presents down on the ground, Bucky eagerly rips open one of the neatly wrapped packages. The second he sees that there is only a red henley inside, his face falls slightly, but he quickly picks it back up to keep the appearance of excitement on for you.

"It's great Doll, I needed another one." He reaches over and kisses you on the forehead.

He opens the second present, more slowly this time, and pulls it out carefully. His face immediately droops when seeing that it's socks. He puts on a happy face and says, "great, I love it." With as much enthusiasm as he can muster.

You let out a chuckle, even though you feel guilty for making Bucky feel bad. "I'm just kidding Baby, close your eyes and I'll have your real present in a minute."

Bucky lets out a sigh of relief, and he immediately looks guilty the second after.

"C'mon baby, did you think I would play you like that?" You respond with a small chuckle. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes," you exclaim as you lean down to kiss him on the cheek.

After you leave the apartment, you pretend to stomp down the hallway, when in reality all you’re doing is going next door. You carefully knock on the door, and Cynthia opens it up almost immediately.

"Hi, is he doing alright?" You ask with genuine concern.

"Oh lovely, you're very lucky to have him, he's sweet as sugar. My cat, Vera, has taken a liking to him, perhaps you could bring him over some time for a play date?" Even though you had never heard of a cat play date, you were open to the idea.

"Sounds great!" You reply with a smile.

"Splendid, I'll go get him now." She walks back into her apartment only to shortly return with the crate.

She hands you Alpine, and you quickly respond with: "Thank you so much, Cynthia, have a great day!" She then smiles and closes the door.

You walk the few feet back to your apartment, and you open it to a crack. "Hey baby, could you close your eyes for a minute?" Bucky doesn't say anything, and just simply puts a hand over his eyes.

As you open the door, Alpine lets out a meow. You frantically look over at Bucky, but he’s none the wiser.

Once you're fully inside and have the door closed, you set the crate on the ground and open the latch, pulling Alpine out. 

"Keep 'em closed, and let your arms out." Bucky does as you told him to, and you gently place Alpine in his arms.

"You can open them now."

Bucky looks down at the white ball of fur that he's holding, and a smile immediately erupts on his face. "Is it-"

"Yeah, baby, it is." A grin spreads on your features.

Bucky doesn't say anything, just carefully plays with Alpine. He turns him to face him and smiles even more when he sees his cute little whiskers. He begins to talk baby talk to Alpine, and you can't help but giggle at this adorable display.

"His name is Alpine." Bucky looks up at you, and then back at Alpine.

"Well isn't that the perfect name for the perfect cat." He exclaims with the biggest smile you've ever seen him wear. 

He reaches towards you and pulls you closer towards him. You move from facing him, to sitting next to him, and he wraps his human arm around you.

"I love you, sweetheart." He says as he kisses you on the forehead. 

You smile and respond with, "And I love you." As you move your lips towards him to give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.

After you finish your sweet embrace he turns down to look at the white cat that had cuddled himself into Bucky's arm. "And I love you too, Alpine."

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