#the war chief is a cool character. as himself. why the fuck do you think it's a good idea to make him the master

[clowns0cks]

I'm gonna literally ignore the music they used for the war chief and take it as it is. just background music. that doesn't mean anything. if they somehow ever confirm that the war chief is really the master I'm gonna kill myself in front of whoever made that choice and change the trajectory of their life forever. you don't want that to happen... doctor who team I am in your walls. don't you even dare massacring my boygirl like that ever again. this is my last warning

[bloodgulchblog]

fuck it i woke up and thought about halo and can't get back to sleep.

i really genuinely truly, from the bottom of my heart, think that sergeant johnson is a critical character for a halo adaptation and creates a lot of opportunities.yes, he's dead. yes, he's been dead for longer than we had that character in the first place. but if halo wants to return to the story of the original three games, johnson is so so valuable.

bear with me and pretend i know a damn thing about tv for a second.

everybody loves our boy master chief, but chief is an obnoxiously difficult character to portray directly as a leading man in a medium where you cannot easily get inside his head. chief's quiet and private and focused on his work. because of that, chief's personality is a negative space that you demonstrate the most through the characters around him. the people you put around chief and have talking to him, telling him stuff, and asking him to do things are the tools you have for illustrating him so they gotta be good. cortana is the best of them, obviously, but cortana is also an AI so her perspective on the world is also very weird.

of the human characters who interact the most with chief in that period of time, johnson is by far the best and the one who has the most layers. on the top layer, johnson is charming and funny and competent and tough. game fans love and remember him because he's likable. on the deeper layers, johnson is a long-experienced participant in this war and the war that came before the aliens showed up. he knows a lot of secrets, including the vital secrets about the chief, and has conflicted feelings he carries around. he keeps his head down and his ears up, and plays dumb jarhead to protect himself and others. he has just as much crazy shit in his backstory as chief and cortana, but chief's chief and cortana is like 3 years old tops and also an ai. johnson is our adultiest adult. johnson's pretty stable, he knows who he is and what's going on, and his perspective is much less strange.

chief needs handler characters with perspectives that are easier to grasp than his. johnson is an amazing handler character for chief because johnson knows him, johnson knows why he's fucked up, and johnson is a decent dude who cares about him even though he cannot save him. if you dilate the timeline to let these two characters talk, it is easy to have johnson check on chief and have chief report back that he's fine in a way that totally shows oh, this dude's priorities are insane. you establish that johnson knows the chief and is looking out for him, and then you do a flashback that shows he has known chief since he was a teenaged child soldier? jesus, suddenly so many things click together. you don't even have to get into the details of johnson's own status as a spartan-i grad for it to work.

it doesn't stop there! johnson's also a key character if you're working with the arbiter! johnson's the first human the arbiter ever has a chance to have respect for, and johnson's smart and able to figure out how to work with him! it also makes for great parallels because johnson was there when the war with the covenant started. you don't have to shoehorn him into a situation to create a bookend, it's just there.

johnson is a likable character with a rich backstory and a nuanced perspective on events and a complex relationship to them. (oh avery johnson, you have been victim of and complicit in so much shit, how's that going for you buddy?) he's a capable action character who also works well on the quieter end, is known and involved in secrets, and can draw out interesting and important details in the original trilogy's two main characters.

also, johnson is just a genuinely cool character who deserves more and on the one hand it's probably ultimately better for the character that he hasn't changed hands a dozen times like everyone else, but on the other his death still feels like a gutpunch and a loss. so like. idk. give him something cool to do in an adaptation from the time where he's alive.

....

anyway, the punchline of this whole thing is that i think johnson is a vital character. so of course he wasn't in that tv show.

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[infinityactual]

⭐ !!

Since u really like the work, this chapter of Coaxial.

It's obvious that I love Lasky. He is my best blorbo.

And aside from the trauma he suffered at Circinus and throughout the Covenant War, I enjoy exploring other aspects of his character and putting pieces together based on what we see and of him in canon. With a thirty year gap in his backstory, we only get to see him as a literal child in FUD, and then we jump immediately to him at the age of 48 in Halo 4.

I like to compare the way he's portrayed in both instances, plus his appearances in the later media and his sort-of appearance in Infinite audio logs to see what changed and what stayed the same. And while I can't be sure that any differences in his character (or maybe lack thereof) were intentional, it really does give a great starting point for extrapolating both what he may have been through in the intervening years as well as what changed or didn't and why.

One thing that I keep coming back to is his sense of empathy and his humanity. In FUD, attention was drawn to his less-than-militant feelings toward the Insurrectionists. He didn't just take the UNSC propaganda hook, line and sinker, despite being the son of a UNSC Colonel and brother to an ODST who was actively engaged in fighting them. In Halo 4, while it's not hilighted to a large degree, he is very sympathetic to Cortana's plight, to the point that he puts himself between Chief and Del Rio on the bridge, and later makes a point to address her directly before she and Chief take the gunship. In SpOps, he is shown to dislike Halsey intensely, and yet he still charges a fucking Knight in her defense after she's hacked Roland and gotten into classified files. Even if you chalk that up to 'following orders to protect a valuable UNSC asset', in the very next episode, Lasky is obviously distressed at being ordered to execute her by Osman. I haven't finished the comics yet, so I can't really comment on their portrayal of him.

But taking all of that into account, I figure it would make sense for his character that injustice just. REALLY gets to him. Like if he thinks too long about the Spartan II or III programs he'll end up all agitated and pissy over just how unethical and abusive they were (and still are). Spartan II and III are one of those buttons that are almost guaranteed to make him lose his cool if you punch it more than once, even if it's on accident and even if you're John 117, being self-deprecating due to the lingering traumas of Spartan II and thirty years of war. It just makes him mad to see people who have saved humanity and done so in such a selfless way treated like equipment, or denying themselves any comforts whatsoever aside from like. Eating real food instead of nutrient packs or rations, or sleeping for a good solid five hours instead of one.

At some point I am GOING to write something based on Del Rio's commentary in HTT where he's describing John as a mad dog, where he and Lasky run into each other at some big, fancy political to-do and Del Rio is talking mad shit about John, and it takes Lasky a scant sixty seconds to go from 'this is boring and i dont want to be here' to 'I AM GOING TO COMMIT SEVERAL FELONIES IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS' and he ends up breaking Del Rio's nose.

I just. He genuinely cares for others, especially the older generations of Spartans. Injustice pisses him off, and it's a big deal when that sense of justice conflicts with his job. And he gets really riled up when John acts like he doesn't deserve the bare minimum of good things in his life.

[cartograffiti]

James Bond Yelling with Gav

I really love James Bond movies, not because I think they're, as you might say, "good", but because they're interesting thrillers that aren't overly self-serious. The clothes and gadgets appeal to me, as do the evil scientists, and although the plots can be predictable in an eye-rolling way (why does the base always blow up?), they also follow the hallmark of "convalescent literature", like romance and detective stories, where there are certain reassuring beats they have to hit to fulfill the name on the tin. It wouldn't be James Bond if he ever failed to ruin the evil plot, so I never find them scary. Nothing wrong with scary, but because I'm never afraid watching a Bond movie, they stay in a realm of "I want to play with that" for me. I have a love-hate relationship with Bond himself, but I want to be friends with Q, the gadget-making tech & science braniac. He made a big impression on me as a child, watching Desmond Llewelyn in the role explaining his inventions, well before I was old enough to crush on Ben Whishaw after him. I've never actually written fic for the Bond series, but I find myself influenced by Bond plots and by Q when I write anything actiony or scheme-heavy. They make me happy.

I'm watching all of them in order right now. Some I've seen before and some I haven't, and I'm making this thread of mini-reviews mostly for myself, so I can remember which ones I like. Because, like I said, I have a love-hate relationship with James. It's not his fault exactly. The character's personality has been shaped and sometimes obscured by the folks at Eon trying to make him the manliest and coolest guy by the standards of the year. It's fun to see how that changes over time, but it also means watching fucked-up pop culture history of sexuality, violence, and luxury (and how they intersect) play out. It's not surprising that the more of an inner life Bond gets to have, the more I like him--because ultimately, weirdly, James Bond is as vulnerable to being reduced to a physical symbol as any Bond girl. When he's cold, I'm as mad for him as at him. Let the man feel! Let him have motivation to do this work!

Okay, here come the movies: (Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice.)

Dr. No (1962): Great investigation-heavy plot with a missing intelligence chief and Cold War science. Bond here is quippy, smart but fallible, and polite to women. Some brief lines seem to me 60 years later to be dismissive of Quarrel, a black ally of Bond's, which sucks, because his role in the story is instrumental. Mostly this movie is just cool--I especially like a scene where a duplicitous geologist is being threatened by Dr. No in an extremely 60s minimalist room, the villain out of shot and his voice echoing. Simple and chilling. (Top tier).

From Russia with Love (1963): This is one of my favorites. I really enjoy the Soviet spy Tatiana Romanova's personality, and this is a nice, juicy plot where she and Bond are being manipulated by SPECTRE to worsen Cold War relations while they negotiate over a cryptography device. That's a subject and kind of tech I love, along with very fun hidden tunnels in Istanbul, a spy/chess master, and an escape via Orient Express. Sour notes include a stereotyped Roma community and some weird f/f sexual allusions both there and with Soviet women where the writers were clearly not sure whether it was hot or disgusting to them, but definitely exotic! Still, very fun and engaging overall. (Top tier.)

Goldfinger (1963): This might be the most famous Bond movie? It definitely has a lot of iconic elements. Shirley Bassey singing "Goldfinger"! A woman murdered by painting her body with gold! Bond strapped to a table with a cutting laser approaching his crotch! Cheating at cards! Oddjob cutting shit in twain with his bowler hat! A woman named Pussy Galore whose allegiance is uncertain until the final moments! It's really fun, but it's also not all that good. The core scheme dips into goofy territory for me, with a flying circus delivering nerve gas to break into Fort Knox irradiate the gold there and create artificial scarcity. Also, the pacing is a little messy and Bond's meaner than I like. (Medium tier.)

Thunderball (1965): I want to like this one more than I actually do, because I think it has some fun stuff. Good girl escaping an abusive lover Domino Derval, smart and quippy MI6 agent Paula Caplan, and villainess Fiona Volpe are such a strong cast playing off main villain Emilio Largo that Bond honestly feels superfluous. There's a plastic surgery doppelganger element that's underutilized, an overly long underwater sequence where it's hard to tell what's going on, and irritating inconsistency on Bond's part regarding women's rights to sexual agency. This one was remade as Never Say Never Again and I'm not sure I want to watch the story again, but I'd love to see Domino and Paula remixed in a 2020s outing. (Medium tier.)

You Only Live Twice (1967): Fucking oof. An only mildly interesting space race scheme is further dragged down with a ton of really stupid and damaging choices in portraying Japanese culture, in particular playing up the fetishizing idea of Japanese women as submissive. It also for some reason puts Sean Connery in makeup and a wig meant to "disguise" him as a Japanese fisherman. Unpleasant, and particularly a disservice to Akiko Wakabayashi, who plays secret agent Aki with a lot of humor and confidence. She's the best part, and I hope I remember her more strongly than the rest of this outing. (Low tier.)

...And that's where I'm at for now! Future reblogs will have more movies added, and some thought-splats about how the series as a whole reflects trends in fashion and attitude. The next installment has Diana Rigg in it, which I'm very excited about!

[winterscaptain]

directors cut on metanoia! it’s one of my favorites for some reason

you ask and i deliver!! metanoia, with commentary, under the cut with my commentary in bold italics

up next: redamancy!!

warnings: discussion of miscarriage 

“Alright, team. This week we’re headed back to Terra Mesa, AZ, for a series of murders at the university.” Penelope stood in front of the screen, outlining the recent crime scene photos as the rest of you looked through the case files. “Some of the residents at the Apache reservation nearby were injured in one of the attacks, and the presumed killer is leaving tokens around the reservation that are currently being treated as threats.” 

Finding an excuse to get back to Terra Mesa was hard, but I managed to figure out something that would be big enough for the BAU to make an appearance without involving other federal authorities. 

Any excuse to see Blackwolf is a welcome one, and I really wanted to bring him back into our world in AJF. He’s such a fantastic character and frankly it’s a crime we only saw him once. 

You all looked to Emily, who nodded once, and the team stood with her. “I’ll start with Derek at the reservation, and visit our old friend John Blackwolf, while the rest of you start building on what they’ve got at the precinct. Wheels up in thirty.” 

+++

Moments before the plane landed, your phone rang. You answered it before the rest of the team could see the name. “L/N...Speaking…Really?” Your voice didn’t give much away, but the team was listening in anyway. “Thank you...I’m currently out of town for work. Can I give you a call when I get home?...Great. Thanks...Yeah, I’ll be in touch.”

Looking back, this was before I moved to present tense and phased out “Y/N” and “L/N” conventions. Oh well. I’ll get over it eventually. 

That’s what the writing process is for, though, right? It’s always changing and always growing. 

You hung up and sat back in your seat. You did your best to school your expression into something pensive and neutral as you stared out the window. 

Pregnant. Again. Fuck.

Elation, fear, anxiety, and anticipation all warred within you. You hadn’t breathed a word to Aaron, even when you realized you were late, or suddenly didn’t like the smell of your own body wash. It seemed reasonable to keep it from him until you were absolutely sure. 

Reading this back while working on the Reality Check trilogy was a trip - I really wanted to lay a foundation for these emotions warring within Mom in this moment and explain why it was so hard to tell Aaron. 

I think I did alright?? 

A false alarm, or worse, would be a damning disappointment. 

+++

You were admittedly distracted as you went through the motions at the crime scene. A fog clouded your head, and you’d zoned out more than once as JJ tried to engage you in conversation. After a while, she decided to leave you alone, only returning when she was finished discussing MO with the officers outside. 

JJ crouched beside you as you took a few more photos. “You alright?”

My dumb ass forgot JJ was eight months pregnant here, but it’s fine. She’s athletic enough to crouch and stand up if she’s careful. 

It was when I was reading this back that I decided to put all the episode/canon notes into a big spreadsheet to keep track of shit. My brain is a sieve. 

“Just fine, Jayje.” Your voice sounded tired even to your own ears. 

She didn’t buy it. Her hand rose to your upper arm, squeezing a little. “I’m here if you need anything, okay? You know that.” 

You nodded. “I know.” 

“I’m serious. Anything.” She leaned in close to you. “And it all stays with me. Nothing goes to Hotch unless you tell me it’s okay.”

This was a line of dialogue looking to include somewhere as well. There’s always that element of discretion because they all work together. Because Hotch was unit chief for so long, there’s always that feeling that mom (or anyone else) could tattle without realizing it. 

I originally had this in a really early one of my fics, when I had Reader joining the team in season one and she and Hotch were married already, but it was scrapped and shuffled into pieces that actually made sense. It was a profiler, profiled episode where mom looked at Derek and said “I’m not my husband. You don’t have to hide from me. Anything you tell me stays right here between us unless you want me to talk to him about it.”

No matter what iteration of Reader I’m working with, there’s always a kinship with Derek. Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I feel like he’s slept on within the fandom? Idk I just love him and want him to have friends and adequate support all the time. He and Hotch are such strong folks and it’s a shame the CM writers don’t know how to use the great characters they’ve created. 

You bumped her shoulder with yours. “Thanks.” 

Thoughts raced around in your head on repeat. There was part of you that wanted to tell Aaron right away, just step out and call him right then. Another part of you couldn’t fathom putting him at risk for that kind of loss again. Not after the first time. 

What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, and you could handle it on your own, right? It wouldn’t be so bad to wait another few weeks? Just until the end of the first trimester. 

+++

Three days into the case with very little progress, the director was under pressure to have this case solved, and solved quickly. Working closely with the Native American community was good PR for the FBI - failing to solve a case as more university students were murdered was decidedly not.

Thus, Aaron was flown in from Quantico Hello, passive voice! Nice to see you! to oversee the investigation, and act as a liaison for additional support, should it become necessary. I had to figure out how to get Section Chief Aaron out here...Once again, your emotions were at war. It was always a delight to have him by your side in the field, but he’d know something was on your mind. If he asked you outright, you couldn’t - wouldn’t - lie to him. 

Aaron arrived at the precinct faster than you expected. He held back a smile when he saw you, electing to re-introduce himself to the police chief and make nice before formally stepping in as the FBI authority on-site. You were the only member of the team that didn’t already know everyone - the Terra Mesa cult killings were before your time at the BAU, and indeed even before your time at the FBI. 

This was before I had a “real” ajf timeline, so I sprinkled little things in here to help myself when I actually sat down and put it all together. 

Emily had you bouncing between the crime scene and the precinct, so you had yet to visit the reservation. The infamous Blackwolf was still a mystery to you, but you’d heard a great deal about him from Aaron. 

“Hotch, Y/N, can you take a trip to the reservation to see how Spencer and JJ are getting along? We want to make sure we’re doing everything we can to work collaboratively with Blackwolf, and I’m sure another familiar face would go a long way.” 

In the car, Aaron held your hand. It was nice to have him out in the field, a rare occurrence these days. You often missed him during the longer cases, but it was much more fun to talk about your day when he wasn’t beside you for most (if not all) of it. 

My mom just said something about this regarding quarantine - she’s like “it’s so boring to tell your dad what I did all day while we were...sitting next to each other working from home.” 

I laughed. 

Unlike Strauss, he was very-hands off with the units under his jurisdiction, and it worked. It kept him out of the field and on the good side of the unit chiefs. The section was performing beautifully, with few bureaucratic hangups and even fewer infractions. About halfway through the drive, a smile crossed his face. 

Any opportunity to emphasize that Aaron is really capable of taking over the bureau is an opportunity I’m going to seize. 

“What’s funny?” You asked, laughing a little. There was something warm in your chest that bloomed whenever Aaron smiled, and the joy usually bubbled out of your mouth - often without permission. The rare treat almost made you forget about the rock in your stomach. Almost. 

“I want to see something when we get to the reservation.”

“Oh?”

He nodded, a secret little smile still on his lips. “Just trust me and follow my lead.”

You scoffed. “Don’t I always?” You paused, and he raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth. “Wait. Don’t answer that.” 

And thus a very early indicator of their dynamic is exposed…

This is the fun thing about writing out of order - there’s something so exciting about going back and reading stuff when you’re building up to a certain point and finding the groundwork you’ve already established. It’s like building the roof of the house before the foundation and then you’ve suddenly got a whole house. It’s cool. 

He smiled at you before schooling his expression into his normal resting skepticism and removed his hand from yours as you approached the reservation. You wiped the pout off your face after a moment, falling into the professional modality you’d developed prior to Aaron’s promotion, when you had to keep your hands each other in the field. 

Those years were brutal. 

Brutal, indeed, and I can WAIT to explore them further!! We’ve got three years where mom and Aaron work together on the same team before he’s promoted and I’m so excited to see how that dynamic works out once the team is made aware of their relationship. 

You placed your sunglasses on top of your head as you stepped out of the car and followed Aaron to the reservation school. 

“Hotchner.” A handsome, well-built man with an impressive knife on his belt called out to you from across the courtyard, and a small smile broke out across Aaron’s face. 

“Blackwolf.” 

They exchanged firm handshakes, and Blackwolf’s attention fell to you. You watched as his eyes quickly jumped from your face, to your gun, to your engagement ring and down to your shoes, before returning to your eyes. 

I LOVE JOHN BLACKWOLF!!!

“Agent Y/N L/N. Your reputation precedes you,” you said with a smile and an extended hand. 

Blackwolf snorted, but took your hand in a firm, warm grasp. “I’m sure it does, if Agent Hotchner here has anything to do with it.” He glanced at the both of you and turned. “Follow me.” 

If we don’t start with snark when we meet Blackwolf, what do we have left? 

Nothing. 

He took you around the reservation, explaining the possible weaknesses in defense should the serial killer jump the highway. You and Aaron trailed a little behind him as you walked, but Blackwolf never looked back as he spoke. 

He was explaining the possible positions of an attack from the hill, and the possibility that their assailant could attack from any direction, but “...that shouldn’t be an issue for Agent L/N.” He glanced back at Aaron, the first time he’d done so. “Was it your influence that inspired your fiance to carry two guns, or did she start doing that on her own?”

THIS LINE RIGHT HERE is what started this whole fic for me. I thought of including John in AJF really early on, and I knew right off the bat that Aaron was going to trick him and not tell him that he and Reader are together as a kind of test. This moment always existed as John passing that test with flying colors. 

You glanced up at Aaron, eyes wide and alarmed. Aaron only smiled at you and replied, “I taught her. She carries hers -”

“On the offside, I know,” he finished. “It’s smart, if you’re into that sort of thing.” 

Aaron huffed a laugh. “Don’t start.” 

You sputtered a little, and you lost step with them for a moment before jogging to Aaron’s side. “Hold on, back up. How did you…?” You were speechless, to say the least, and you could tell Aaron was doing everything in his power to keep from laughing out loud. 

This scene was so alive in my head, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out. There were like eight or nine different versions of this dialogue I worked on before settling on this one. 

Finally, Blackwolf stopped and faced you, gesturing to you as you spoke. “Just like with Agent Hotchner’s left, your right step is slightly heavier, and you favor your right arm for balance when you walk. When you walk beside him, you’re on his right, placing your weapons on the outside of your frames for the best defense. Now, whether or not you do that on purpose I don’t know, but it’s an inherently protective posture.”

You blinked rapidly for a moment, adjusting to the onslaught of information. “How did you know I was engaged to him?” You threw a thumb in Aaron’s direction. 

He raised an eyebrow, and a smile ghosted across his face. “Can’t give away all my secrets, now, can I?” 

The truth of it? I have no fucking clue how he’d figure that one out so I just left in another “Blackwolf Magic” moment. 

A laugh left you. “That’s fair enough.” 

He opened his mouth and took a breath as if to speak again but closed it, squinting at you. You swallowed, feeling very exposed all of a sudden. His face transformed then, as if he’d realized something. “You should ask Agent Hotchner about perception. He may have learned a few things since last I saw him.” 

This was almost the big reveal, but then I realized John would have more tact than that. And it also wouldn’t be long enough, not to mention deeply unprofessional :)

You looked up at Aaron, but he only rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his friend and kept walking. 

+++

The way Aaron was around Blackwolf made your chest hurt a little less. They were like a pair of kid brothers - giving each other a hard time and cracking wise whenever they got the opportunity. Weak insults like “Captain America” and “Fortune Cookie” ran abound when out of earshot from the local officers, but there was a kind of deep respect and hard-won warmth that flowed freely through all their interactions. 

“What happened the last time you were out here?” You asked Aaron, on the way back from the university one night. 

Aaron looked at the road as he replied with a quirk of his lips. “I learned something.” He reached for your hand, and you held his in both of your own, kissing his knuckles. 

I really believe Aaron learned so much out in Terra Mesa in season one. There’s such a distinctive, yet subtle, shift between the Aaron who rolls up completely skeptical and the Aaron who’s willing to accept that “there are many roads that lead to the same place.” 

I LIVE FOR MEN WHO TEACH AND CHALLENGE EACH OTHER!!! 

+++

It was only when you were alone with Blackwolf, days later, scouting terrain on the border between the university and the reservation, did you ask him. “Were you going to say something earlier, on the first day Hotch was here?”

I love it when Mom calls Aaron “Hotch” at work, even when they’re alone. Makes me all soft. 

He nodded, crouched and studied the thicket-lined path. “I was.” 

You waited patiently and did your best to see what he saw. It was a hopeless endeavor. All you saw was a well-worn path surrounded by bushes of indistinguishable varieties.

“I was going to ask you when you’re due, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise.” He looked up at you with a crooked little smile. “Congratulations.” 

How on Earth…

Breathless laughter punctuated your next words. “Okay, I knew it was a possibility that Aaron had told you we were together, but I haven’t breathed a word about that to anyone...yet.” You sobered for a minute, thinking of the last time. 

He must have seen your face drop, because he stood and placed a hand on your shoulder. There was an understanding in his eyes, gentle and familiar. He treated you like he’d known you all your life, and you were grateful he took you as seriously as he did Aaron. “How many?”

There were so many options for this exchange as well, but I ended up loving the simplest one. There isn’t much that he needs to say. There’s a connection, I believe between Blackwolf and Hotch, and I wanted to extend that link to mom as well. 

Your lip quivered and your eyes stung. You swallowed, doing your best to keep it together. “Just the one.” 

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

You whispered your thanks and smiled a watery smile at him before wiping your eyes and getting back to business. “Did you see anything of use over here?”

He dropped his hand from your shoulder and followed your eyes down the path. “No, nothing here. We should track back to the reservation and see if our guest left anything new for us to find.” 

You turned, but a hand on your forearm stopped you. “You and Aaron are more alike than different in this, I think, so I’ll tell you this.” You met his eyes, and he seemed to almost look through you as he spoke. “Some things are meant to be carried together. Joy and grief are two of those things that are too heavy to bear on your own. Tell him today.” He released your arm and continued ahead as if he’d said nothing at all. 

There’s so much respect in accepting someone’s vulnerability, and then moving forward. It’s doesn’t change how that person sees the other. It’s just human. It’s part of them, and it doesn’t need to color every interaction from that point forward. 

My best friend calls these “so noted” moments. You just take the note and move on. 

After a moment, you followed him. 

The man really is like a fortune cookie. 

But he’s right. 

+++

You returned to the precinct with a lighter step than before, Blackwolf on your heels. Aaron squinted at you as you walked in, and you could tell he knew something had changed. 

Emily and Derek flew through the door behind you, and John pulled you back by the elbow to avoid getting run over in their haste. 

Contact!! I wanted to establish a little more familiarity between reader and John after their conversation. It was vulnerable and shifted their boundaries just enough for Aaron to notice. 

“We have a lead. Get roadblocks up now,” Emily had her phone out and was on the phone with JJ, who was at the university with Spencer. She spit instructions in only the way she could, and Aaron was hot on your heels as Emily tossed you the car keys and you all flooded out of the building. 

The takedown was decidedly eventful, and JJ got a black eye for her trouble. Dave took care of her by the ambulance while Emily directed traffic. You got caught up taking a few statements from the neighbors, and it was late evening by the time you were all on your way back to the hotel. 

In the car, Aaron was quiet. Your hands were linked over the center console, and he rubbed little circles into your skin. 

“What’s going on with you, honey?” He knew better than to look at you while he asked, but his circles never ceased or stuttered or hiccuped on your hand. 

You sighed. “Can I tell you when we’re back at the hotel?”

He nodded. “So, something is on your mind?”

“Yeah.” 

“Good, bad?” His tone was prompting, but not pushy, and you appreciated it. 

You tried to offer him a smile. “Good, I think.” 

He squeezed your hand. 

Again, any little moment where I can just let the implication speak for itself is one I’m going to grab. They don’t need to be crazy verbose or explain themselves. They just get it. 

And they TRUST EACH OTHER!

+++

You dropped down into the middle of the bed, crossing your legs. Aaron sat across from you, mirroring you with his legs crossed and his hands loose on his knees. 

Pajamas were on, teeth brushed, and you were both ready for bed. 

You heaved a deep breath. “So, John said something to me today that had me thinking.”

Aaron’s mouth quirked up in a smile. “He has that effect on people.” 

“So I’ve heard.” You took his hands. “He said to me today that there are some things that are meant to be carried together, and that joy and grief are two of those things.” 

I’d like to think the way Reader started this conversation really freaked him out, but he does his best to stay cool and I’m really proud of him. 

His eyes were soft and patient as he waited for you to continue, his mouth relaxed. 

“My doctor called today -”

“Are you alright?” He couldn't help but interrupt, and a little huff of a laugh left you. 

Ah. There it is. He can’t help himself. 

Can you blame him?

“Yeah, I’m fine. She just wanted to tell me I’m due in March, is all.” You let the words tumble out as casually as possible, but your shaky breath betrayed you. 

Aaron was quiet for a moment, just looking at you. After what felt like forever, he pulled you forward by your hands, and you crawled into the hollow haven of his body. His hand traced over your arm, the other resting over your temple, as if to hide you from the world. 

“Are you upset?” You asked, your voice small. 

You felt him shake his head. “Not even a little. In fact, quite the opposite.” He kissed your hair. “How are you feeling?”

The lack of big response was really important to me. If he’s gotten really excited, I think mom would have felt undue pressure, and I think he knew that. 

It’s another moment where I got to show that Aaron fully understand what she needs at any given point, and that fact itself isn’t necessarily significant enough to be acknowledged on its own. It’s tacit. 

Your fingers wrapped around his arm, and he took his hand from your face, curling his arm around your waist. “I’m really happy, but I’m really scared too...I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. “I just - I don’t want to fuck it up this time.” 

His hands stilled, and he grew quiet, his voice low. “What?”

“I don’t want to lose this one and I was scared to tell you because if I told you and we lost him, you would be sad and I just don’t want you to be sad and I don’t want you to lose anyone else, ever.” You weren’t sure you were coherent, but that just about summed it up. 

That’s the wild thing about grief, you know? It puts all these wild stories in your head that it’s your fault, even when people you love tell you otherwise. 

I think even after faith, and even after how well Aaron handled the loss - so supportive and affirming the whole time - there’s this doubt that she’s not good enough, that she could have done something differently. 

It’s a doubt Aaron recognizes in himself, and it breaks his heart. 

“Baby, look at me.” 

You leaned back and met his eyes. He held your gaze as he spoke, almost unblinking. “You did not fuck anything up. It was not your fault. These things happen, and yes, they’re sad. Yes, I grieve for the child I didn’t get a chance to meet. Yes, it’s painful. But honey,” there was a desperate edge to his voice and he wiped your tears away with his thumbs, “you’re my partner and I love you. You don’t have to go through anything alone ever again.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.” 

He pulled you close again, tight to his chest. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

He completely understands. I mean, he’s the guy that kept his separation from his team for weeks without breathing a word. He knew that they would be there for him, but he just thought he could do it on his own. 

These idiots are made for each other, I swear. 

(Well, they are….)

You were quiet for a little while. Then - 

“Did you say him?” Aaron’s voice was nearly trembling. Because you knew him so well, you knew it was barely-contained euphoria. You knew he was holding back because he didn’t want to scare you, didn’t want to get too excited in case something went wrong, but his efforts were futile. You saw right through them, and hoped his joy would last and that the worst was behind you. 

That’s love and trust, babey! 

You turned your head, pressing your nose into his neck. “Just a feeling. I dunno.” 

He sighed, his arms winding impossibly further around you. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” 

You nodded into him. 

“When’s your ten-week?”

“Two weeks, on Wednesday.” 

His breath washed through your hair as he pressed his cheek to the crown of your head. “Can I come with you?”

He’s learned so much and I cry about it regularly. I just watched that episode where Haley calls him because she’s at Jack’s doctors appointment and he’s not there and he just screws out up and had a big weep about it. 

You nodded. 

When you woke up in the morning, You were still curled in his arms, on top of the covers, with the lights on. Aaron’s face was pressed into your hair and his body was flush against yours from shoulder to calf. 

One of his (truly massive) hands rested over the waistband of your pajama bottoms. 

It’s going to be okay. 

That concludes this installment! I LOVED going back through this one with a fine-toothed comb. Definitely one of my favorites in this series. I’m so glad so many of you love it like I do!!

[365days365movies]

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2006) (Part 1)

So...we meet again, Bond. What’ve you been doing for the past few years?

...What. Not who, James, WHAT. Jeez.

Whatever. BrosBond had 3 movies after GoldenEye, and they were...not great, from what I’ve heard. Remember, I wasn’t as big of a fan of GoldenEye as many critics and fans were; so, I can’t imagine what I’d think of the latter three. Maybe one day, but not today!

Today, I’m focusing my sights on the revitalization of the brand. See, in 2002, Die Another Day came out, and that movie was apparently crazy. TOO crazy. So crazy, in fact, that audiences and critics accused it of losing the plot, and the production studio in charge (Eon Productions) had a yearning to change direction. And their inspiration came from...a surprising place.

See, Joel Schumacher’s campy, over-the-top Batman films were basically wiped out by Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reinvention of the character in Batman Begins. Which is, in my opinion, a highly underrated classic, Seriously. And in 2005, this film was absolutely a smash-hit. Batman was cool again, which a lot of people never thought would happen in film. Eon saw this, and thought...how can we apply that to Bond?

Out with Brosnan...in with Craig.

The first of the new, darker, reinvented Bond films is planned for release in 2006, starring Daniel Craig as the suave, sophisticated spy. And the director of the film was selected to be...Martin Campbell? From GoldenEye? The guy who kinda sorta started the modern over-the-top Bond? Really? I mean, OK. The writers this time are different...except for one. I didn’t talk about the writers last time because I don’t like putting people on blast if I don’t gotta. This time...maybe. We’ll see.

If this Casino Royale is basically Bond Begins, I’m definitely interested. Maybe this’ll revitalize that Bond-love from the Connery days. Let’s find out! We’re also gonna look at the Bond checklist again!

Gadgets: better have more cool gadgets than GoldenEye, I swear...

Bond Girl: GoldenEye’s Natalya wasn’t bad, to be honest; let’s see who his Inevitable Love Interest is this time.

Villain: Alec Trevelyan had so much potential. I need my dastardly villain, let’s do this. Oh, and let’s throw the henchman in here, too. Xenia Onatopp was...a lot...but she was a memorable henchman, at least.

Music: Of course. GoldenEye’s theme was good, and we’ll see how 2006 does.

OK, movie time. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at an office building in Prague, where a man makes his way up to his office. Waiting there for him is, of course, James Bond (Daniel Craig). The man is Dryden, section chief at the British Embassy in Prague, whom M has accused of selling secrets, a big no-no. But Bond...isn’t a double-0 agent. Huh. You got me interested.

Apparently, agents get the two zeroes once they’ve killed two people on file. James hadn’t killed anyone...until recently. Which is when we get this.

OH SHIT

This is an absolutely BRUTAL fight. It’s not choreographed flashily, it’s not pretty...it’s rough. It’s intense. And it’s...oh my God, wow. Made me feel it. And what’s astonishing is that it’s SO short.

On learning this, Dryden tells him not to worry, the second one is...

...YOU GOT ME. I’M IN FOR THE FUCKIN’ RIDE

HOW??? How is it that in 3 minutes of screentime, I’m already more satisfied by Craig’s Bond than I was for the ENTIRETY of GoldenEye? That is masterfully done, right off the bat. WOW. We even get a smooth-as-silk segue into the classic bullet turret sequence, and that takes us right into the song and opening credits. And...wow.

Here’s the thing about Bond openings, as I mentioned last time: they were all directed by one guy up until GoldenEye, and were basically all silhouetted women with themes and scenes from the movie projected around them. The Brosnan movies followed suit, always having silhouetted women in one way or another. Die Another Day used CGI women and...a really bad Madonna song. It was...it is NOT GOOD, guys. Look it up, it’s the most 2002 thing I’ve ever heard.

But here’s the fin bit about Casino Royale. This is the first Bond movie opening with no women in it. Yeah. It’s the first one. And the song is Chris Cornell’s You Know My Name, and it’s good! Not sure it’s going in my soundtrack, though.

Finally, the opening credits sequence itself: it’s once again Daniel Kleinman doing it, and it’s actually inspired by the first James Bond book Casino Royale, which had already had a TV special and unofficial Bond movie made from it! The cover had a playing card motif, and the opening carries over that motif creatively. I really dig it, if I’m honest! Definitely a welcome break from the 44 years of Bond films preceding it.

Uganda! And we meet the villain of this film: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). And GODDAMN if that isn’t a Bond villain! He’s a banker, making a deal with a rebel leader, Steven Obanno (Isaach de Bankole), via their liason Mr. White (Jesper Christiensen). Setting up an attack by supplying Obanno with money, he sells his stocks of a company called Skyfleet, knowing that they’re about to fail.

Meanwhile, a ferret’s fighting an Asian species of cobra. In Madagascar. My zoology senses are EXPLODING, OH my God. So much wrong there. Anyway, there’s a bombmaker in the crowd watching the fight. He’s being tailed by Bond and another agent, Carter, who tips off the guy by being a bad spy. Bond chases him to a construction yard. What now, James?

Awesome. Why is this awesome when I said that the tank was dumb? Because at least it makes sense for a bulldozer to go haywire in a construction yard, just sayin’. Plus, this dude clearly isn’t the best, as he fires on construction workers and cops.

Eventually, this chase sequence brings us to the top of a crane, where this exchange happens.

I, uh...I love this movie already. That’s goddamn great.

The chase scene as a whole is also fantastic, as it continues off the bridge and into an abandoned building, then escalates into the streets, brings in law enforcement, and eventually ends with Bond at an embassy, facing down both the military and the bomb maker. He kills the guy, shoots some gas tanks, grabs the bomb, and then gets the hell out of there.

...Y’know what, that was fucking amazing, but he also almost certainly caused an international incident there. And I should be annoyed about that, but guess what! It makes sense! This is an inexperienced Bond, one who’s JUST been promoted to 00 status as 007, as the prologue explained. So, y’know what? I’m into it!

Cut to a yacht, like you do in a Martin Campbell Bond film. There, we have our villain, Le Chiffre, playing a card game. Also, he weeps blood. Yeah. HE WEEPS BLOOD.

OK, if that isn’t some Bond villain shit, I don’t know WHAT is. He’s also asthmatic, because I love it. I love it so much. He’s a mathematically-brilliant asthmatic that weeps blood. More, please. 

He’s also a person aware of what Bond did at the embassy, as it’s already become an international incident! Thank you for showing consequences, movie! Damn! I love it! This has two additional consequences. One, Le Chiffre notes that the code “Ellipsis” used by the bomber may be soon to expire, indicating a connection between the two. And the second consequence? M’s pissed.

M! DAME JUDI DENCH! One of my favorite things about GoldenEye was bringing in Judi Dench as M, and she made it through the reboot! And she’s still as entertaining as she was before, calling Bond out for his stupidity, and explaining that she misses the Cold War.

In her apartment, M does her normal exposition schtick, and her interactions with Bond are fantastic here. She’s understandably angry at him, and gives him what for, but she’s also clearly impressed that he FIGURED OUT WHERE SHE LIVES, as well as her REAL NAME. Shows her opinion of Bond and aspects of Bond’s character in a single, masterful stroke. 

Well. Goddamn. Done.

The Bahamas! Bond’s here to find Alex Dimitrios (Simon Abkarian), a Greek businessman who’s believed to have a connection with Le Chiffre himself. And, as James Bond is wont to do, he finds him at a party, playing cards. And here’s where the reinvention of Bond comes full circle.

See, Bond’s doing all the typical Bond things, yeah. But there are some differences present here, as well as some neat nuances. Bond isn’t wearing the suit, first of all. He actually hasn’t worn a suit the whole movie, which makes perfect sense for a spy. Suits aren’t exactly the least conspicuous thing in the world; bound to get you noticed if you don’t want to be.

And then, there’s the girl. This is Solange Dimitrios (Catherina Murino), the wife of Alex who was treated BADLY by him at the party. That gives her a reason to take Bond’s offer for a ride to his place, outside of just his raw animalistic charm that he seems to have in some of these movies. Look at that, already more chemistry than he had with Natalya in GoldenEye.

And yes, this results in her cheating on Alex. Is her cheating justified from a moral standpoint? No, of course it isn’t. And of course, this leads to the typical Bond-handsome-sex-GOOD sequence, but again, some nuance here! First of all, he doesn’t win her over with corny clever lines, like what we saw in GoldenEye multiple ties. Second, this is actually all an attempt to get some infomation from her about her husband. Bond might be enjoying it, but his womanizing here actually has a purpose. And that’s rare!

That’s further punctuated by the fact that he STRAIGHT UP LEAVES BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. Yeah, she tells him that Alex just made his way to Miami, and he leaves! Dick move, yeah, but it makes sense! James isn’t here for pleasure, he’s here for work!

He follows Alex to a Bodies at Work exhibit (you know, the preserved and skinned cadavers put into poses that used to tour around the USA? I saw it in Times Square at the end of its popularity. A little ghoulish, maybe, but I think it’s pretty cool), where the two of them get in a very tense close-up knife fight in public.

Alex is dead, but not before passing off a package to someone else at the exhibition. Bond tails the guy to Miami International Airport, where the largest airplane in the world is set to be unveiled. Using the code sent to the bombers, Bond gets into the back, and goes to intercept the disguised bomber who’s set to blow up the SkyChonk (I mean it, that giant airplane is THICCC).

Time for another cool chase sequence! Some luggage is destroyed, along with a bus, the cops join in on the chase, an airplane is prevented from landing (making someone on that plane probably very upset), and Bond somehow manages to prevent the plane from blowing up. And it’s by the SKIN of his teeth, lemme tell you. Also, he blows up a dude with his own flashlight bomb.

Nice. Somehow, Bond isn’t arrested, and makes his way back to the Bahamas. And it looks like Solange isn’t the Bond girl after all. Because she was thought to be the information leak (which she was, to an extent), she was tortured to death. Whoof.

M’s in the Bahamas now, and the exposition continues. She’s done with Bond’s bullshit, and she plants a tracker under his skin. She explains that with the big boi plane destroyed, somebody stood a lot to gain financially from the stock crash to come. Except that the plane wasn’t destroyed, and that person lost $100 million by “betting the wrong way.”

That person, of course, was Le Chiffre, a manthematical genius and chess prodigy, who plays poker for fun, and plays the stock market with his clients’ money. Bond’s the best poker player in MI6 (a good addition that we already saw foreshadowed earlier! See what I mean?), and she’s sending him to a high stakes poker game that Le Chiffre’s looking to regain his money from. 

Bond FINALLY dons his suit, and gets on a train in Montenegro, where he meets...

Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). THERE’S our Bond girl! Although, there’s a reference to Miss Moneypenny in their introduction, which is interesting. But Vesper is an agent for the British Treasury, supplying the money for the buy-in for the tournament. And their conversation on the train...wow. Now THIS is chemistry, seriously.

Vesper’s a great character, and she gives Bond NO quarter. She reads his character, and calls him out very accurately. They also explain why both Bond and Vesper are good at poker: it’s all about reading people. I’m genuinely impressed by how this movie is put together, and how well-thought out Bond is as a character. And this is the dimension I love to see in a Bond girl as well!

GODDAMN, I am in love with this movie. More coming in Part 2!

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 28

catch me completely ignoring dark cybertron lmao

yeahhhh so I'm just gonna skip dark cybertron bc no thanks. I did read the tf wiki articles for the issues tho, which is more than I did in the past, so at least now I kinda know what happened, though I had to suffer thru reading about dark cybertron to learn stuff about it. yikes. reading ABOUT dark cybertron further enforced my decision to not actually read thru it

anyways. the best part of dark cybertron was when chromedome threw prowl off that cliff. that was baller lmfao

a 1 page recap of dark cybertron is about all I can handle. thank you

ooh, the 6 months later smash-cut, I fucking love itttt

nautica’s here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I love her. also brainstorm, and I love their friendship sm

hvbjdkhfbshdfj god I love them. they have such a fun dynamic 

everyone eavesdropping on a therapy session vhbhdjkhafbhkjsdf. hipaa laws mean nothing as usual 

the casual reveal of captain megatron, oh god 

the title fucking slaps, as usual. this is one of my favorites - ‘world, shut your mouth.’ great stuff, and a song title/reference to boot! and this being part 1: towards peace...chefs kiss

and then we flash back to 6 months earlier...yknow now that I'm rereading this, mtmte has a LOT of framing devices used - there's story-within-a-story, flashback/flash-forwards, storytelling with narration, etc...I love it

god hbvhjakdfbshjkdf rodimus saying ‘magic’ and then the little *magic = science rodimus doesn't understand HBGKJHSDBFKHJSDF my idiot boy ily

rodimus roasting prowl is my fav hbfjdkafshsbjkf ‘maybe the knights can help us find a cure for your personality’ ily sm

and then prowl agreeing w/rodimus a few panels later about megatron’s guilt...

optimus...don't you think that making yourself chief of justice is...maybe a bad idea...like, maybe there's a conflict of interests here...just a little bit of bias...a bit too much history, perhaps...

the fact that all the big roles in the trial were given to high-ranking autobots who were heavily involved in the war...I see that cybertrons justice system is as much of a farce as their medical ethics and patient confidentiality laws 

the ‘you BROKE the MATRIX’ panel is so good bjhkdhfbajskhdf

rodimus: LISTEN dad I just wanna resume my space cruise with my frat bro ship I have no interest in politics

psychiatrists HATE him! local former warlord refuses to recognize the validity of psychological analyzation of people’s actions

ravage casually breaking hipaa laws and chilling in megatron’s therapy session like >:3

I love rung...he’s so good at like, passive-aggressively cutting right to the heart of someone’s issues, and he’s so generally mild that you can’t even really get mad at him 

the sudden inclusion of megatron as a major character in mtmte is kinda jarring at first - mostly, for me at least, due in part because I didn't read dark cybertron so this is like, megatron’s introduction as a relevant character in general - but I feel like jro does a great job laying a lot of intrigue down from the very beginning w/his character - like, I already want to know more about what his whole deal is, even though we have, ostensibly, seen pretty much all of his story play out already 

rung name-dropping froid...i remember that made me lose my shit bc cmon. FROID....jesus christ

rung and megatron: holy shit! we’re suddenly being drawn in a 90s-esque sci-fi tron-looking retro-futuristic style!

interesting that megatron sought rung out, and not the other way around

RIPTIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite sharkboy is HERE

CREWDITIONS...YES....

‘we’re not allowed to take anyone who might remind rodimus of prowl’ vhbhjdkshfbhaskfd brutal

I love nautica so so much. a perfect autistic scientist after my own heart

I adore that nautica brought chromia along for moral support

hgvbjdakhfbhsj and then swerve saying that rodimus hates ‘trisyllabic names’ and nautica is like....but....‘rodimus’.....

and then nightbeat busts in to get all bbc sherlock on they asses hgbfhjadkfbjaskdf

WHY was perceptor at the crewditions if he was already part of the crew lmao

ooof, and then we have megatron flipping out when chromedome, a mnemosurgeon, shows up

also damn the autobots were rlly like okay so we wanna speed this trial up so lets just like, probe megatrons brain, that seems completely ethical, especially when you consider the history of shadowplay and stuff that our previous government had

I know important stuff is happening but megatron is holding a CUBE and I love CUBES so I'm distracted by that. C U B E

and then right after a scene where we see chromedome willing to perform mnemosurgery again - despite rewind’s like, dying wish for him not to - we hear that he’s been locked up in his room rewatching rewinds goodbye message over and over again :( I'm fucking depressed

I love nightbeat, he’s so funny and kind of an asshole

and then you see more missing letters behind them next panel...clearly nightbeat is right and there’s a mystery afoot...OR somebody is fucking with the ship’s lettering as a prank, which is a plot point I would absolutely buy

yeahhhh skids is right, chromedome is clearly Not dealing 

the dramatic graffiti on megatrons door...I wanna know who spray-painted ‘die’ everywhere like they're reaper overwatch

oh god. whirl vs megatron

really cool red lighting tho

GOD its so brutal, all the stuff megatron said about how he told the cons not to kill whirl...and doesn't that end up being false anyways? so he was just saying it to dig at whirl, which is awful

also I'm never over the fact that literally everyone - including megatron and whirl - blames whirl for ‘turning megatron violent,’ as if the entire Point isn't that whirl was a tool for a corrupt system, and if it wasn't whirl it would've just been someone else, and megatron turning away from pacifism was inevitable given the circumstances, AND also a choice on his part, so he really only has himself to blame for his OWN ACTIONS

bye bye whirls right arm, see you in lost light 

‘people never stop changing’ that IS something I say all the time...damn you warlord grandpa! how can you steal my philosophies?!

ohhh man and then rewind’s goodbye message being different....oooh

AUGH the fact that whirl was basically trying to goad megatron into killing him, just like he did in issue 1 w/cyclonus...It Hurts Man

also I do love the hint at who he’s talking to w/whirl shooting megatron with the bow and arrow earlier, and we know that atomizer is a fan of those

ok, but here’s where my philosophy diverges - megatron talks about throwing away his past and starting new, but I think that you have to learn from and build on your past...either way, megatron’s arc is one that I enjoy greatly from a character writing standpoint, and I'm excited to get it underway, especially w/how controversial it is lmao

big ole double-page spread...I like how you can pick out individual characters in the background crowd, which is crazy cause that's a LOT of people. also how come cosmos is so HUGE

phewwww 4.6 billion cybertronians died in the war, that’s INSANE. that's like, an incomprehensibly huge number. is there an estimate for their current population? I bet its not a lot. no wonder jro leaned into reproductive themes so much in mtmte/ll - of course the continuation of your species would be a concern for many if your numbers have been that greatly reduced

optimus w/his fancy tyrest-lookin crown

oughdajbfsbdf and the fact that megatron ALSO murdered 100 BILLION non-cybertronians...bruh. I feel like they maybe should've dialed those numbers back a little to allow his ‘redemption arc’ to run a little smoother lmao. but also I admire the commitment either way

and then we end w/megatron doing captain stuff, and seeing The Coffin...and we never did see rodimus in any of the flash-forward parts of this issue, did we???? I love how concerning that is. where's my BOY

also of course we gotta remember the warning from way back at the beginning of mtmte: ‘don't open the coffin’....

and so begins mtmte s2! man I love s2. I love mtmte in general lmao. s2 takes on the impossible w/the whole ‘megatron redemption arc’ thing, and I know that’s like, a divisive plot point and stuff, but from a writing standpoint I enjoyed it a lot...I think it was pretty much as well done as it could've been given the enormity of the task, and I thought it was a really interesting direction for the story to go in 

also espec if it’s true that hasbro was like ‘hey jro put megatron in your story and give him a redemption arc’ rather than jro like, planning/asking to do it 

anyways. I doubt ill talk much abt the disc horse(tm) here bc this is just for fun and also my own personal opinions and whatever, but I for one am excited to reexperience this stuff 

so yeah s2 off to a strong start with some wild shit already happening! cant wait to read more!

[multsicorn]

book-and-show

My preferred mix of the two canons is basically ‘The Untamed, but Wei Wuxian lost control of his zombies by his own goddamned self, and also plot/logic holes are taped over by explanations from the book when needed and possible.  And we know that wangxian are together and will be married, but we're left with spaces to fill in the details.’  (One of the cool/interesting things about having multiple versions of a canon is that one can mix and match!)  But there are definitely things that I prefer, separately, about each.

[two very long lists.  all of which are all about personal opinions/preferences, and none of which are looking to start discourse!]

Eight Things I liked better about the show:

1. "Who am I to you?"  "I had thought, that you were the one who knew me for my whole life."  "Still, I am." is *twenty zillion times* more romantic than a stolen blindfold kiss, in a way that pretty much encapsulates why I so much prefer show to novel wangxian overall.  And in this TED talk - I mean, in another post, hopefully, in not too long, I will.

2. Lan Wangji's explicit questioning of and overturning his understanding of 'what is right, and what is wrong,' rather than simply being motivated by 'if loving Wei Wuxian is wrong, then screw everything else.'

3. Introducing so very many characters earlier in the chronological timeline, and showing us more about them and their relationships prior to Wei Wuxian's death - and outside of the key moments in which they're involved in the plot.  Wen Qing and Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli, Mianmian, Songxiao, Xue Yang, Meng Yao - this list could also be its own post.

4. More focus on the Sunshot Campaign and its aftermath, pre-death, specifically on the period when Wei Wuxian is the feared necromancer, and he and his loved ones are dealing with that, against a background of war and then possibly more war.  It's by far my favorite part of the narrative, just because of my preferences re: genres, so I appreciate it being foregrounded rather than just a backstory that's shown in flashbacks.

5. The successive confrontations between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji over 'leaving the right path'!  In the courtyard, when Lan Wangji pulls Bichen on Wei Wuxian to make him listen; in the sad umbrella rain, when Wei Wuxian holds Chenqing out in front of him, defying Lan Wangji's efforts to rein him in.  These things probably fall under the umbrella of the TED talk from the first point, but they're the beating heart of WHY I LOVE THIS STORY.  And they're not even in the novel...!  I thank the CQL team for my life.

6. Also, THE COMB STORY.  I'd never have thought either that 'how do we improve an m/m romance novel?  By adding a het romance subplot, of course,' but the fact is that I love the dimension it adds to both Jiang Cheng's and Wen Qing's stories.  Highlighting their shared loyalty to their clans - except not shared, because they're from different clans! - but their shared *understanding* of what righteousness, justice, etc., is, and the way it leads to their tragedies, and the way it's a counterpoint to Wei Wuxian's and Lan Wangji's different and ultimately shared understanding of 'what is right' and the way *that* brings *them* together is just... so good.  I am getting over it approximately never, and, again, it's show-original.

7. And I think the last big thing - other than, the acting's wonderful, imo, the visuals are great, (even the 'bad' special effects? I like 'em kinda ridiculous?), and when the prose-in-translation of all versions is iffy at best, (not judging MXTX's prose! or the scriptwriters'! but I unfortunately cannot read or understand it) it's REALLY NICE to have other major dimensions of the story that aren't lost or diminished in translation.  Honestly, I am only watching cdramas and not reading cnovels (I only read MDZS so I'd know what's in it) for that reason alone.  But in terms of *story* stuff -

8. I think that censoring wangxian's relationship down to the '(really really loud) subtext' level counterintuitively also makes the rest of the story seem considerably gayer.  If wangxian exists in hints and looks and narrative parallels etc., then likewise, so do the 3zun and Yi City triangles.  Not as much as wangxian, but they're more minor characters, and they're on the same continuum... to the extent that I legit thought that songxiao and xiyao would also be novel canon.  (They are not.)  If Wei Wuxian shocking Lan Wangji by showing him gay porn in the library, and commenting on Lan Wangji's beauty, is because he is actually into guys, then maybe Nie Huaisang lending Wei Wuxian that same porn, and also commenting on Lan Wangji's beauty, means the same thing, if that's all we have to go on. etc.

Nine Things I liked better about the book:

1. There's something about Wei Wuxian's narrative voice, the running commentary that he gives about others and most of all himself that is... funny?  Yes, it is, but that's not the part I love.  It's hard to pin down, but the pattern of the things he judges and the things he doesn't judge at all, even though maybe he should, but he really has so much empathy - in the literal sense, I mean, as well as the magical - is very specific and endearing?  He's exactly like that in the show, too, but we hear much less of it when he's not telling the story.

2. Getting to hear A-Qing in her Empathy fleshes out her cleverness and her bravery, again, in a way that's not easy to replicate seeing it from outside of her head.  (I think we may have more of all of the ducklings/juniors, actually, but I'm just not all that interested in their friendly banter.  Not when there's life-rending trauma in the OG of the same story!)

3. From the chronological start of the story, the Wens' domination and power-hunger is portrayed in a realpolitik way that's both more interesting and fits the rest of the story better, with the Jins later filling that same vacuum, and fearing Wei Wuxian's potential to do the same sort of thing to them, etc., as chronologically following and competing different takes on the struggle for power, without any need for the flat fantasy mcguffins of the Yin Iron or the 'spirit snatch.'

4. Wei Wuxian ~appreciating~ Nie Mingjue's dead body parts is hliarious. I love him hanging out with the corpse girls.  I love the Wens risingout of the blood pool for him ;___;.  Overall his relationship withthe corpses that he magics is such a cool weird fun part of the book,that is missing in the show except his friendship with Wen Ning for'let's make a show about necromancy but pretend it's not' reasons.

5. The fact that Wangxian don't split up and go their own ways at the end of the story, even temporarily!  I could go either way on 'Lan Wangji becomes Chief Cultivator' - I like the way that it moves into 'the future will be better than the past, and we'll work to make it that way', in the same way that 'the kids are alright' does, and the fact that Lan Wangji hates diplomacy and is bad at it can make for good amusing stories!  But I also approve of the fact that the personal win condition for so very many of these characters is to peace right the fuck out of sect politics, (like Mianmian our true hero does <3), and I believe in that as a happy ending.

6. Wei Wuxian's and Lan Wangji's complementary ~ravishment~ kinks.  I don't like the exact way they're written in the novel (and extras), but I *will* take and run with the existence of them, nevertheless.

7. The post-resurrection plot makes, um, sense?  Let's not forget the importance of that!  (But, honestly, 'must a plot make sense'?  It's not all that important to me, lol.)   Going from one place to another to collect the pieces of 'our dead friend's' body rather than seemingly at random makes the journey feel purposeful rather than direction-less, and gives an indication of progress that's not simply 'amount of the story read as per chapter count.'  Though it's still not clear to me why the juniors squad needs to be in Yi City!

8. It has more of Wei Wuxian's inventiveness.  Whether founding the Diabolic Path rather than 'just' inventing some tools and talismans within and also outside of it, or figuring out/explaining how some sort of magic works, whether lecturing to the juniors or working it out for himself, or something like that one night-hunting extra where he's being a supernatural consulting detective... it's fun to see more of his ~mind at work,~ in a way that doesn't fit as well either into an audiovisual medium or under the constraints of 'what is happening? definitely not corpse magic!' that censorship imposes.

9. The structure of revealing what happened in (what I can't help thinking of as) the main portion of the plot - who Wei Wuxian is, what his life story is, and Lan Wangji's part in it - through interleaved and not even necessarily in-order flashbacks is... so interesting?  Unfortunately I can't tell how well it would've worked for me in terms of changing my understandings of characters etc., because I watched the show before I read the book, so I came to it knowing the outlines of the story.  But it's a cool idea, and I wish that I could experience it properly!  (Though I would never have read the book without watching the show first, I would've failed out at the start due to translation issues and then if I'd persisted past that due to all the gay chicken stuff.)

[thanksjro]

The Transformers #22- Chaos Theory Part 1: Space Racism, Space Classism, and Space Pseudo-Romantic Tension Between Rivals

Before I jump into this comic, it is positively vital I talk about Drift.

Drift is an IDW original character, born on the page without any previous rendition. He was introduced in All Hail Megatron #5, which was Shane MeCarthy’s fifth solo writing credit for IDW publishing. He waited a whole five comics to introduce an original character, and Drift had reason and purpose to his creation- he was meant to honor Japan as the home of Transformers. He existed to show what a Decepticon defector would be like, and how both factions were losing the plot of the ideals they fought for. Pretty thought out stuff.

Meanwhile, in The Transformers #22, on the FIRST FLIPPING PAGE-

Okay, to be fair, Rung isn’t super important here. He will be later on, but as it is, he’s just a funny little creamsicle man who’s wandered into the scene. This also isn’t technically his first appearance within the IDW publications; in the Last Stand of the Wreckers, there are several character profiles, penned in-universe by Rung, going over the members of the Wreckers and their various emotional/mental ailments. This is still quite the step up for him, however. To think, he started out as a one-off psych joke in Eugenesis. He’s come such a long way. I’m so proud of him.

Anyway, our story begins in the past, at Maccadam’s New Oil House, where it’s time for Megatron’s character depth injection. He and Impactor are having drinks- Impactor’s had several glasses of what appears to be molten lava, while Megatron’s more of a children’s cough syrup kind of guy- and Megatron’s showing his friend his writing. You see, Megatron’s a bit of a revolutionary, and an intellectual one at that.

Megatron is dissatisfied with the current state of affairs on Cybertron, and as a man of the people- he is but a lowly miner at this point in time- he feels it is the duty of the public to incite change through the power of language and critical thinking. 

That’s not really Impactor’s style though, as we find out when Rung gets tossed onto their table, and Impactor decides that the best course of action to take is to start punching the guys who’re throwing entire robots around in a bar full of very breakable glasses and drunkards.

In the present day, Megatron’s still hooked up to that full-body harness, and is currently being seen to by Ratchet… and Perceptor. When the hell did Perceptor get here?

Oh, okay, cool. Thank you, TFWiki.

Ratchet runs a bit different than one would expect him to here, not quite as grumpy as he’ll end up in MTMTE, and a bit superstitious. No, the role of the strictly-fact-based bluntness has been awarded to Perceptor this issue, who quells Ratchet’s concern with Megatron using his labelled black hole/antimatter powers by telling him to stop being stupid.

Meanwhile, in the observation room, Ironhide, Optimus Prime, and Xaaron are watching this scene go down. Xaaron’s here to act as legal council, since Megatron’s surrendered himself to the Autobots and is therefore a prisoner of war. Is this the first time legal precedent has been taken into account by the Cybertronian population in the IDW run? No, but it does seem as if Xaaron’s just about the only form of legal council they have. No wonder the planet’s such a mess.

There’s a reference to the fact that Ironfist is fucking dead, and then Xaaron leaves to talk to Wheeljack.

Don’t you smile about that, you absolute jag.

Something is bothering Optimus Prime. Megatron seemed off when they last spoke, as if he were putting on a performance. Which he kind of was, considering he invited the entirety of his Decepticon forces to watch him and Optimus beat the shit out of each other. Does Megatron want to- dare we dream it?- end the war? Only one way to find out: Ironhide suggests a heart to heart.

Back in the past, Megatron is being questioned by a cop, in the aftermath of what happened at Maccadam’s.

Did Megatron get his group’s tagline from some prison graffiti? I suppose inspiration can strike someone anywhere, at any time.

Springarm’s questioning Megatron, or at least he’s attempting to- seems to be having a hell of a time with both reading comprehension and having an outdated form. Cold construction gets its first mention in officially published media- an idea played around with in Eugenesis- and then Whirl shows up to save Springarm from embarrassing himself further. Whirl is a cop here, but don’t worry, he gets better.

Back in the present, Optimus is psyching himself up for his conversation with Megatron.  He enters, has the audio in the observation room cut, and Wheeljack loses a bet.

Oh hey, Drift, been a minute.

Optimus wants a proper conversation with Megatron, but Megatron points out that it isn’t exactly fair that he’s strapped in place, filled with inhibitor chips, and primed to be electrocuted to death if he so much as sneezes. Optimus agrees with him, and releases Megatron from his bonds, then offers him a chair and a cup of tea.

So, Optimus and Megatron get to talking. Actual talking, not the “taking turns reacting” stuff they usually get up to.

And then Optimus more or less calls Megatron a hateful son of a bitch to his face. Which Megatron seems to take in stride.

I think Megatron is the only guy in the universe to hate so insanely hard that it turned off his ability to get hot and bothered.

Of course, Megatron doesn’t hate Optimus- oh, he could never. He just hates everything he stands for, and everything he does. Which, uh, doesn’t leave a whole lot left over to not-hate. When asked if he hates Megatron, Optimus isn’t nearly as composed and elegant about his thoughts. It’s like he thinks “hate” is a dirty word. So did I, when I was, like, six.

They’ve been at war for so very long, it’s gotten to the point where the entirety of the galactic council has kicked any Cybertronian representative out, because these guys clearly have some issues that just aren’t getting resolved. Maybe if they had more than a single mental health specialist for the entire population they’d get somewhere.

As it currently stands, Optimus just wants to know what the hell Megatron is even doing all this for. Megatron says it’s for control and dunking on lower lifeforms with space racism. Optimus thinks that’s a load of horseshit, and presses for more details.

There’s our first mention of the Knights of Cybertron, who become a major plot point in the IDW Phase 2 publications. We’ll hear more about them later on.

It seems as if Optimus and Megatron share the basest of values- both want peace. Optimus just isn’t really digging the whole “subjugate the people for a better tomorrow” shtick Megatron’s touting.

Megatron doesn’t like being compared to Optimus, who’s about as centrist as it gets- Megatron is a radical if there ever was one, and he’s been fighting for his beliefs for the last four millions years, tooth and nail.

Not that these robots have nails.

Back in the old days, the Senate divvied up the populace by alt-mode, and whatever you turned into, that was your job. Personal taste, interest, and  talent weren’t factors. That’s why Megatron worked in the mines- he wasn’t allowed to do anything else. This is Functionism, another plot point that will be factoring into Phase 2 pretty heavily.

Optimus didn’t really oppose Functionism at the time, seeing as he was a rather privileged individual, and also a cop back in the day. Everyone’s a friggin’ cop in this continuity.

But enough about systemic oppression of the masses, it’s time to reminisce on the good old days- also known as every single time Optimus and Megatron have ever tried to kill each other. It’s a lot. Like, a lot. And then they have a good laugh about it.

This isn’t a healthy response to stress, you two. Someone throw Rung in there and lock the door for a couple weeks.

Optimus says that he wants to end the war. All Megatron has to say is that he wants it too, and it’ll end. Megatron doesn’t say anything to that. Optimus still hasn’t figured out just why Megatron surrendered, but it looks like time’s up, and he strings Megatron back up and exits the room.

Later, Autobot High Command is having a meeting, with Bumblebee, Ultra Magnus and Prowl having telecommed in. It’s an emergency meeting, over the complicated legality of Megatron’s trial. Since the Galactic Council isn’t returning their calls, they don’t have any sort of neutral third party to run this thing, and the Autobots can’t just hand out sentencing themselves, because they have a natural bias. Magnus suggests they give Chief Justice Tyrest a ring, seeing as he’s considered a neutral by the Galactic Council.

There’s another part to this issue though; because of the nature of this case, the prosecution gets to decide Megatron’s punishment, should he be found guilty. They start putting it to a vote, but Optimus says that it’s his decision since Megatron has been his responsibility for the last few million years, completely cutting Bumblebee out.

Y’know, Bumblebee. The current appointed leader of the Autobots.

Why do we even bother having elections, if Optimus is just going to pull this whenever it’s convenient?

Then Rodimus calls Optimus out on being potentially compromised, since he listened in on his little chat with Megatron. Optimus reacts to this about as well as he can.

That is to say, not at all.

Back in the past, it’s time for some good old-fashioned police brutality.

How in the hell do you even punch someone when the closest thing you can make to a fist is more akin to a torpedo in shape? I guess only Whirl knows.

Whirl’s decided that he’ll be killing Megatron for his two little buddies, and he almost gets to it before Springarm busts in and stops him. Megatron’s being released, on the captain’s orders, because the captain went through Megatron’s things and read his writing, revealing himself to be a violenceless revolutionary.

Impactor, what the fuck.

The captain is Orion Pax, by the way.

In the present, Optimus is back in Megatron’s room, because that will certainly help his case of being on the up and up. He wants to know why Megatron surrendered, and he wants to know NOW DAMMIT. Megatron asks him to rephrase the question, then goes full edgelord in an attempt to make Optimus react, because it’s the only way the two of them know how to interact at this point.

Megatron gets what he asks for, and Optimus realizes that perhaps attempting to murder his greatest rival minutes after having been revealed as a have a soft spot for the guy wasn’t the greatest idea. He leaves the room before things can get more awkward.

He runs into Ironhide in the hallway, who asks how things are. Not great, Ironhide. Not great. Optimus committed an act of violence on a bound man, thus feeding his hatred of authority figures.

In the past, Megatron finally corrects the etymology error everyone’s been making with his name.

Because that’s not a massive red flag right there.

Megatron’s free to go, and Springarm gives him his little journal back. Too bad Megatron’s been tainted by the ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ and doesn’t nearly believe as much as he once did in the power of the written word. He tosses his writing away, causing his first incident of property damage and foreshadowing his future.

That’s the end of the comic, but not the end of the issue. In the back of the book is a little blurb welcoming Roberts to the writing chair and calling him out as a bit of a dork, then a sign-off from Andy Schmidt as Senior Editor of IDW, which also calls him out as a bit of a dork.

So that’s the start of the Chaos storyline. Lots of setup here, both for Chaos and things further down the line. This is a sharp left turn from how the prior issues of this series have gone. It’s not just people punching one another in the face. I’m getting a feeling that character motivation is lurking in the wings here.

[keyofjetwolf]

Elisabeth: The Shadows Grow Longer

I spent no small amount of time into trying to organize and articulate my thoughts on “Hate”, and now I’m even further removed from that effort, I’m pretty pleased with what I managed to say about it. I can only hope, as I sit here on no less than my fourth purge-and-restart in five months for “The Shadows Grow Longer”, that I come to feel the same with this post, BECAUSE MY GOD HAVE I STRUGGLED WITH IT SORRY @iatheia

Given everything, I think this is my single favourite part of the entire musical. I love the song, I love the way it’s performed, I love the way it’s sung, I love the meaning behind it, I love how difficult it is. That gives me an extra layer of desire to get my discussion about it right, but as can so often be the case, it also makes me that much more critical about how I’m doing it.

So fuck it, another start from scratch. Fourth time’s the charm? LET’S HOPE

Essen Alternate Title: Sucks To Be Rudolf Zuka Alternate Title: Sucks To Be Whassisface Because Reasons I Guess

In “Hate”, I talked about how its exclusion from the Takarazuka version stripped this song of much of its relevance and meaning. Having just rewatched it several times, I hold firm to that. The performance of the song is fantastic, and its a testament to Rudolf’s actress that I felt tremendous compassion for him despite any actual objective show-based reason to do so. SHE’S JUST THAT GOOD.

The song itself in the Takarazuka version is actually a pretty close match to the Essen. It’s originally intended to be between Rudolf and Death, so there’s no shoehorning of Death. It also keeps its focus pretty firmly on Rudolf, rather than twisting things out of shape to put Death front and center. NOT A COMPLAINT. It is a bit of a pleasant surprise, though, given the predilections of the Takarazuka thus far, and I think speaks a lot to the strength of the “The Shadows Grow Longer” that it’s functionally untouched.

But damn, I just CANNOT get past how gutted it is without “Hate” as its lead-in. This song is functionally our introduction to Takarazuka Rudolf, the first time he’s spoken of himself and his feelings rather than through what Lucheni decides to tell us about him. The Essen version, by this same point, has put a comparative glut of time and effort into making sure we know Rudolf, but even without all that, if we have “Hate”, we’d at least have context for all this.

ALAS

Instead of realizing that Rudolf is struggling to reconcile his personal desires to do away with imperialism and the larger picture of the chaos and power vacuum left in its wake, he comes across as a weak, pampered little boy, who wants to shirk responsibility and hug his mummy, and is desperate for The Cool Kids to like him OR HE’LL JUST DIE (literally).

Again, the Takarazuka actress infuses the song with so much more than that, and I’ll never stop giving her every credit for it, but it’s entirely despite the building of the material. Until I watched the Essen version, my take-away from this song was essentially “You don’t want to deal with all that emperor shit and the mess of the world, just shoot yourself and save everyone the trouble.”’

A consequence of how the Takarazuka version has rearranged itself with Death at its center, all this feels like none of it actually MATTERS as far as Rudolf is concerned, that it’s simply a ploy by Death to try and hurt Elisabeth. That’s a damn shame, when the scene is actually incredibly powerful independent of both Elisabeth AND Death, and serves as the perhaps the one fundamental link between mother and son that he so desperately longed to find.

On top of that, the Takarazuka puts so much of its energies into building Death as a singular obsessive character, rather than an alluring force both terrifying and comforting, that by pushing Elisabeth to the sidelines of her own story, it’s weakened everyone, INCLUDING Death.

Still though, the Takarazuka performance of “The Shadows Grow Longer” is awesome, and does a tremendous job showing Rudolf and Death in their own intimate dance as Rudolf’s struggle to resist Death’s charms and the freedom in oblivion he offers.

THE ESSEN VERSION THOUGH JESUS WEPT

I’ve rewatched it six or seven times so far today, in the course of writing this post, and I’m still getting goosebumps. The desperation and fury in Rudolf is nothing short of incredible to watch, and Death makes the perfect accompaniment to his torment.

The way he says “Yes, you know me” is SO GOOD, carrying just the right note of sinister familiarity, and that’s only the beginning. From there, as Rudolf and Death sing together, we get a sense of the relationship Rudolf has with this force that doesn’t actually exist, and yet is more real and comforting to him than literally anyone else in his life, and if that isn’t some sad fucking shit then I don’t know what is. As Rudolf calls Death his friend, he says it with true joy in his face and in his voice. Death is his constant companion, always there for him whenever he’s afraid and alone, and it’s through this examination of Death and Rudolf that we can also better understand Death and Elisabeth. She never really allows herself to feel -- or at least express -- the soothing nothingness Death offers, yet still, she can never completely pull herself free. Through Rudolf, we can see how alluring it is, how reassuring to always have an escape hatch constantly whispering some small morsel of want and affection.

But it’s also terrifying. As Rudolf welcomes Death, Death threatens to consume him. They sing together, Death of course knowing precisely what Rudolf knows and so echoing to him his deepest fears.

Rudolf can see how the world is moving. As demonstrated through “Hate”, he knows only too well that everyone is headed for violence and bloodshed, and critical problems will grow so much worse before they can even consider getting better. AND NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE, no one else is in his unique position of both (or neither) insider and outsider. Rudolf alone is at the crossroads of history, and knows that there’s almost no time left to try and stop this. Knows that he alone may have the opportunity to even try.

It’s that uncertainty of what to do and how to do it that ultimately proves too much, but he’s not quite there yet. Death appeals to him, entices him, coaxes him, even goes so far as to directly and physically manipulate him like a puppet.

Still, Rudolf tries to fight, breaking away time and again, only to repeatedly return to the only one who understands, the only one to offer him SOMETHING. And Death does, in a way somewhat unexpected.

I’ve turned this over a few times, thinking on how Death, who for most of the song is encouraging Rudolf to give up and accept the inevitable, now does a 180 and urges him to try, to embrace becoming both an emperor and a traitor. It seems, at first, to be something of a contradiction, but in truth I feel it highlights the utter impossibility of Rudolf's situation. He’s doomed no matter WHAT he does. If he stands by and doesn’t act, the world will turn down the path of hatred and unthinkable atrocities. If he keeps the path his ancestors forged, he sacrifices his personal values while condemning and further inciting the poor, bringing about the end of Hapsburg rule with himself its chief villain (and very likely doing nothing to halt the impending march of World War I anyway). He leaves this moment still trying to ride the middle, and of course history shows us how well that goes for him. But right here, right now, he’s encouraged to at least TRY, and in way that’s perhaps one of the saddest in the entire show.

Rudolf, exhausted and despondent, falls (nudged every so slightly by Death) to his knees, wondering why nobody else can see coming what he sees. And Death joins him, tries once more to take him, but at Rudolf’s continued refusal to yield to Death, changes instead to comfort. They kneel together as Death cradles Rudolf’s head, and it’s the first time we see Rudolf in any state that could even slightly be described as relaxed. Someone’s comforting him, someone’s holding him, someone’s helping him, and that it’s DEATH ITSELF just crushes me a little.

But at the same time, Death is Death. He may give for now, but ultimately, he will take. Whatever motivations compel him, becoming emperor will kill Rudolf as surely as Death’s kiss. And as Death turns him to face his future, “Kaiser Rudolf” still lingering on their lips and ringing in their ears, Rudolf ultimately stands alone.

[andallhisausterenhost]

After Action Report: Abate the Edge of Traitors

After going to all the effort* to write a fluffy intro to this battle, I then have had zero interest in writing a fluffy after action report. I think the problem is taking unpainted miniatures - it’s a bit hard to get worked up or invested in the death of Senor Greyskin and his trusty sidekick, Lady Dull Metallic, when I could instead get really into the clash of arms between, say, Brother-Veteran Hitoshi, warrior of the Mantis Warriors, and Matthias the Vicious, the dread serial killer of Nužudymas, cultist of Qyn Kraugeriškas, pirate-slave of Malachi the Surly, ya know?

It doesn’t help that @littlemangsofwar​ has some of the worst luck in recorded history.

My writer’s block is especially frustrating when Mangs puts a great deal of effort into his lists. Task Force Vengeance is fully named, from Librarian Cassiel down to the Land Raider Redeemer Purity Rolling.** I need to step up my game, both in terms of painting and in terms of, you know, writing. Things.

Anyway, this clash was really fun on paper. Mangs’s Dark Angels list is pretty mechanised, featuring a Nephillim Jetfighter (Caliban’s Wrath), a Predator, Razorback, a Rhino, scouts, a pack of Deathwing as well as officers. It’s not the most optimized list for 8th edition Dark Angels, as they actually really want to stand very still and get free re-rolls, but it is cool as hell to look at.

The Ravenwing were just here to scout the battlefield, then peeled away for another, more important mission elsewhere (he didn’t actually include them in the list! A mistake we’ve all made.).

I had a really bizarre list, swelled with unpainted units to try and match @littlemangsofwar​‘s cool Dark Angels. In the centre of the board, I massed my marines in cover, as well as some slightly forward scouts (including the new snipers and the Crusaders, who took up stances around an old console in the ruins). I had some attack bikes waiting in reserve, hidden behind buildings. On the right flank, the Radical Inquisitor took up position in his commandeered Razorback, behind a Tactical squad and some... uh... ash-camouflaged Assault Marines.

The blocks are actually a Daemonhost containing a warp spirit of Order, which I have some very cool ideas on, but they can wait until I paint more of the Inquisitor’s band of acolytes. The new Blackstone Fortress actually has a bunch of models that I was planning on converting for his gang, so that is going to be very hard to resist.***

I also had two squads of Ratlings, led by a Squat commander and accompanied by an Astropath, part of the Inquisitor’s extended retinue. The Mantis Warriors marching into battle accompanied by xenos, a daemonhost, and semi-humans! Not a great look, but they were here to fight the Dark Angels, who themselves have a less than savoury reputation.

We played a variation of Cleanse and Capture, which I’ll drop below the cut. Essentially it was the same scenario but we each had some bonus Tactical Objectives we wanted to achieve to give the thing a bit of flavour.

The objective markers were intended to represent archaeological sites that may contain information on + + + REDACTED BY INQUISITORIAL EDIT 7532/ω + + + which obviously the Dark Angels also sought.

I know I just wrote a lot of words about the scenario, but I’m afraid that I’m not up for a prolonged blow-by-blow of the game, so here are some highlights:

Despite a tremendous amount of possible mortal wound output from my three squads of snipers (two Ratling and one Mantis), I only killed about three Tactical marines from them all game. Of course, Ratling squads are only 45 points, so it’s still not a bad choice.

Early in the game, my attack bike with a multi-melta swung out and nearly one-shotted the Predator Silencer. In anger at this, @littlemangsofwar fired nearly his whole bloody army at the little bikers, only finally killing them with a plasma rifleman who then died in the explosion. What heroes.

There he is, tucked behind that barricade there.

The advanced (and second-most recently painted) sniper scouts that were holding the objective in the ruins were brutally cut down in a single round by a combination of Redeemer flamers and a Dark Angels Tactical Squad. Said squad would then hole up in that ruin for the rest of the game, sniper fire plinking off their power armour and holding my Assault Marines at bay.

The Inquisitor and his minions did very little. I’ll admit that I strongly dislike their rules in the Index - they get almost no character and kind of encourage the worst kind of spam. Take lots with plasma guns! Each one man unit is an Elite choice! And you can’t have cool models with twin swords or twin pistols actually count as those weapons! Lame.

Purity Rolling gets assaulted by the Mantis Warriors officer cadre.

In a pitched fight that goes to show why tanks don’t like urban battlefields, Purity Rolling got swarmed by my entire HQ and my teleporting Terminator Squad and got chipped to death. I was very lucky, getting off that 9″ charge, and it did come down to the power sword of the Sergeant, but it was still brutal.

Brother-Apothecary Jiyuna wimping out and refusing to charge Purity Rolling which is fair enough, really.

@littlemangsofwar kept the pressure on my Devastator Squad, but his fucking appalling dice rolling in this game meant that they lasted most of it. I don’t believe they did anything useful, but they just kept absorbing his fire.

pew pew

Beneath the Devastators, in the same ruins, were a Tactical Squad, which got assaulted by one of the Dark Angels Tacticals. The battle was fairly even, frustratingly, for several battle rounds, despite the assistance of my Brother-Apothecary Jiyun, Lieutenant Khan Nguyen Thi Kim, and the abhuman company commander in service of the Inquistion. The latter had a powerfist! He didn’t hit once!

His brothers cut down around him, Brother-Sergeant Kiraman fights against overwhelming odds.

An absolute beast who would. not. die. This caption refers to Kiraman, and not anyone wearing green, white, or blue. Jerks.

In the centre, my command squad and both units of Terminators kept wailing on one another for several turns. Between adroit use of psychic powers and @littlemangsofwar‘s gross luck, I came out on top, although my First Company warriors were annihilated to a man.

A glorious melee.

Chief Librarian Ahazra Redth channeling the Warp.

On the right flank, there is nothing much to report. Caliban’s Wrath was pretty wrathful, taking out my Inquisitor’s Razorback. Scouts and fire from various other tanks took down most of the acolytes, including the Slann and the exiled Aeldari ranger, but the Inquisitor himself was able to channel the powers of the warp and take out the scouts. The glowing cubic forms of the daemonhost did something between ‘nothing’ and ‘waste time’.

A rhino burns in the distance as Mantis Warriors Tactical Marines advance.

Overall, this game wasn’t as much fun as I would have liked. Don’t get me wrong, @littlemangsofwar is always cool to hang out with, but his luck was just so awful. It’s no fun watching your opponent roll ten dice and get two hits. 

I was using Raven Guard rules for the Mantis Warriors, as I do feel that it’s the best feel for their hit-and-run tactics in the fluff, but it’s also a very strong Chapter Tactic. Certainly light-years better than the terrible ‘you hit harder if you charge out of cover... for some reason’ rules they are reputed to have had two editions ago.

Hopefully, the next time @littlemangsofwar and I have a full game of 40K, our luck will even out. We did have two Kill Team games on Sun 28 Oct, and those went very differently!

I’ll leave you with at atmospheric**** photo of Squad Nakir of the Dark Angels...

Final score: Victory, Mantis Warriors. (Dark Angels withdraw.)

Men of the Match: Attack Bike with multi-melta. Toughness five, four wounds, baby!

Lesson to Remember: Dark Angels infantry get to re-roll ones if they don’t move that turn.

+ + + Thought for the Day: By the manner of their death we shall know them. + + +

Scenario: Maelstrom of War scenario Cleanse and Capture (see p.230 of the rulebook).

Modifications:

Terrain:

As traditional, whoever gets there first places terrain; second-comer can choose deployment side.

Placing objectives:

As I'm picking the scenario, you can choose whether to place the first or second objective. You may also choose which deployment type (p.216) we want to use.

Tactical Objectives:

As written (that is, we generate Tactical Objectives until we hold three), but we start with some at the beginning of the game in addition. Unlike regular TOs, we can't discard these, but they don't count against the maximum of 3 anyway.

You (Dark Angels) will start with 13 Confess! and 14 Seize and Interrogate in addition to rolling up/drawing three more.

I (Space Marines) will start with 12 Honour Your Chapter and I also have a made-up version of the Dark Angels 14 Seize and Interrogate by the Inquisitor (see below) in addition to rolling up/drawing three more.

(special) 14 Seize and Interrogate by the Inquisitor   Score 1 victory point if any enemy CHARACTERS, DEATHWING UNITS, or RAVENWING BLACK KNIGHT UNITS were slain by an INQUISITION unit in the Fight phase of this turn. If your opponent’s Warlord was slain by an INQUISITION unit during the Fight phase of this turn, score D3 victory points instead.

First Turn:

Rather than whoever finishes deployment automatically getting first turn (which can be brutal in this edition), I suggest we go with the system used in the Chapter Approved scenarios:

The players roll off, and the player who finished setting up their army first adds 1 to their result. The winner can choose to take the first or second turn. If they take the first turn, their opponent can roll a D6; on a 6, they manage to seize the initiative, and they get the first turn instead!

Everything else is the same as a standard Cleanse and Capture: Warlord, First Blood, Linebreaker; highest victory points is the winner; 5 turns and then start rolling for extra turns on a 3+; etc etc.

* Literally like five minutes before going to bed. ** A great blend of the sorts of names US soldiers give to their tanks and the 40K hellverse. *** Ratlings!!!!! **** Bad.

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [287]

Evelyn finds the Iron Bull sitting by himself at the bar of the Herald’s rest, large form leaning against the well tended wood as he drinks from a very large tankard of ale.

“If you’re looking for Wolf she isn’t here,” he says when she tries to subtly look around him for a sign of the mage, “We aren’t actually attached at the hip. She doesn’t like it when I drink during the day. I think she’s probably poking around the merchant caravans by the main gates.”

“I know you aren’t,” Evelyn says, taking a seat next to him. ���Oh, no - I don’t - “

Evelyn is about to say that she doesn’t want a drink at this particular moment but the Flyssa has already put a much more moderate sized goblet in front of her.

“You look like you need it, ma’am,” Flyssa says and then walks away before Evelyn can protest.

“If she’s saying it then it must be true,” Bull says, nudging her goblet with his tankard, “Bottoms up.”

“Right then,” Evelyn says, “She doesn’t like it when you drink?”

“During the day,” The Iron Bull stresses, “She doesn’t like a lot of shit that I do. Wolf doesn’t like it when I drink during the day, she doesn’t like me walking around shirtless, she doesn’t like me flirting with other people…”

Evelyn turns the words over in her mind because it wouldn’t make sense for the two of them to be so close if one of them was constantly picking at what seems to make up vast portions of the other’s character.

“Why?” Evelyn asks and the Iron Bull grins around the lip of his tankard. “Why doesn’t she like those things?”

Evelyn knows that if there is something Ellana doesn’t like, the Iron Bull doesn’t do it. Ellana asked the Iron Bull to stop trying to rip Dorian open like a hang-nail to the root and he did. Ellana asked the Iron Bull to attempt patience with Cole even though he’s unnerved by demons and he did it. Ellana probably asked the Iron Bull to join the Inquisition - Qun and all aside, Evelyn is pretty sure that the Iron Bull would have come just for her.

“Knew there was a reason why Wolf liked you aside from all that magic theory stuff,” the Iron Bull says. “She doesn’t like me flirting with other people in front of her because she thinks it’s  unfair to the person I’m flirting with. It puts them in an awkward position. Even if they know that she doesn’t care if I’m sleeping with other people. She doesn’t like me walking around shirtless during the winter because usually she ends up being the one taking care of me if I get sick and in her words I turn into a philosophical nightmare that’s best avoided at all costs.”

Evelyn can’t really imagine the Iron Bull as a philosophical nightmare, but then again Evelyn doesn’t really talk to the Iron Bull that much regarding anything like philosophy or figurative matters.

“And the drinking?”

“Well, she usually has stuff to do during the day that she can’t do if she’s got a buzz going. Alcohol and magic don’t mix, right?” Bull shrugs a shoulder. “You know, I’m going to tell her you asked and she’s going to like you even more. Wolf likes people who dig deep.”

“About that,” Evelyn leans closer to him and lowers her voice, “Is there a reason why you call her Wolf? Isn’t that…sacrilege?”

Bull blinks at her and then laughs, body pushing back from the bar table as he throws his head back. “Relax, Inquisitor. Everyone on my team’s got nicknames. Stitches stitches people up, Grim’s quieter than dirt, you know? And Dalish was taken, so she gets Wolf. No article in front. We’re good.”

Evelyn turns the words over in her head. Because she’s found that things are rarely so topical when you’re dealing with a Qunari spy.

“There are other things to call her,” Evelyn prods, “Aside from the obvious reasons, why Wolf?”

“You mean aside from the many wolf skins she wears?” The Iron Bull responds dryly.

“Aside from those.” Though they are very impressive and intimidating. As is the staff.

The Iron Bull hums, turning his tankard on the bar with slow steady movements of his fingers.

“She’s Wolf because if I called her Ataashi then she would have run and I’d have never gotten her back,” He says with a gentleness that Evelyn didn’t know he ever really chose to use. “And it’s just stuck since then.”

“Oh,” Evelyn says. “You like her.”

“Yeah, I mean. I hired her.”

“No, I mean. You like her.”

The Iron Bull actually turns around in his stool to look at her, “Are you asking me if I like, like her like we’re eleven year olds? Yes, Trevelyan, I like-like her the same way you like-like your Commander, except neither of us wants to go at it like the two of you do.”

Evelyn sputters and the Iron Bull’s smile is a touch sharp but also genuinely amused as he roughly pats her shoulder and stands up. “You should finish that. Take some time to relax. Breathe. I think Pentaghast was looking for you to complain about Varric.”

-

“So there’s a elf underneath all that wolf after all,” The Iron Bull muses, standing over Ellana and Dalish as they hurriedly rip apart fabric and start arranging things to be re-sewn together. Ellana ignores him as he sits down next to her, watching her work.

It’s summer and Ellana has just gotten back from visiting her clan. Ellana’s normally kept herself to the North during the summer - Orlesian summers are wretched and wet and muggy and the heat is a tangible weight on her chest that makes her feel sluggish and tired.

She’s shed her furs and thrown them into the back of one of the caravans along with the rest of her belongings. She’s also changed out of her normal traveling attire and into a light cotton dress that her cousin had given her when she was up with them. Dalish is wearing one similar and the two of them are working on sewing together pants and tunics with light padding to fight in.

Ellana is not going to be wasting mana on constant cooling and temperature regulating spells in the middle of a fight. That’s ridiculous.

“You seriously do this every year?” Ellana says to Dalish as the woman arranges panels of leather that she had Ellana bring back. No one tans leather like the Dalish masters do.

“I’m not carrying summer gear around all year when we spend most of our time in the mountains or Ferelden,” Dalish replies, “Besides, by the end of the summer this will all be worn down anyway. Watch, you’ll be having to patch something after the next fight and it’ll only go downhill from there.”

“You wanna make me some?” Krem asks.

Ellana and Dalish cast annoyed looks at him.

“You’re the actual professional tailor,” Dalish says, waspish as she turns back to the work in front of her, “You could help us.”

“Nah,” Even Krem’s switched to a short-sleeved shirt and light trousers.

Ellana shoves her hair out of her face and there’s a light tap on her shoulder. Ellana turns her head to see Skinner handing her a leather thong to tie her hair as the other woman presents Dalish with the measurements from the others.

“Not much change since last summer,” Skinner says, “Thank June. A few of our other Dalish members also got materials back from their clan. I think we’ll be able to make it with what we have. We just can’t make mistakes. I’ll start cutting. I’ve got some of the others ready to go.”

“You actually sew a summer set for every single person?” Ellana asks, baffled. “Ridiculous. What happens after summer?”

“After summer we scrap it to pad our winter gear. You know we need it. Besides, we wear them into the ground, summer is a big season for us. No bad weather so everyone wants to go to war and shit or adventuring or doing dumb stunts in stupid dangerous places,” Krem says, “I’ll consider helping if you make the Chief’s out of plaid weave.”

“We don’t have plaid weave,” Ellana says.

“Thank fuck,” the Iron Bull says under his breath. The Iron Bull is the only one among them who doesn’t seem to suffer from the oppressive heat. Ellana’s envious.

She tugs at the collar of her dress, trying to get some air as she scans the measurements with Dalish. This would be the perfect time for the Wolf to show up and drag her on some sort of quest to inspect a rock or dig up some ancient scrap. Which of course means he won’t show up. Though she feels that she’s due for a visit soon, she hasn’t seen the Wolf since before she left the Chargers to visit her clan.

“Here,” the Iron Bull touches her arm with something and Ellana turns, accepting the water skin gratefully. “Can’t have you passing out before the actual work starts.”

“I regret ever letting anyone see me mending my leggings,” Ellana says.

“You’re Dalish, you’d be dead if you can’t sew,” Skinner replies, “It’s part of the package. Sewing, hunting, trapping, dancing, doing stupid stunts with animals.”

“I feel like I ought to be offended but it’s all very true.”

[hilarieburtonmorgan]

Hilarie Burton on Living in an Apocalypse Within an Apocalypse for The Walking Dead

Hilarie Burton and I spoke over Zoom in the midst of a pandemic about her upcoming appearance on season ten of The Walking Dead, a show about a post-apocalyptic pandemic, where she plays the dead wife of her real-life husband (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays Negan) and the namesake of the infamous barbed-wired baseball bat, Lucille. The actress, who got her start on MTV’s Total Request Live (TRL) in 2000, has also starred in One Tree Hill, White Collar, Grey’s Anatomy, and the Lethal Weapon series. Speaking from her temporary abode in North Carolina, during an extended COVID-necessitated break from filming The Walking Dead, she was clear and candid. Below, she discusses filming alongside her husband, producing a documentary about the Wilmington 1898 massacre, farming, and living in an apocalypse within an apocalypse.

———

HILARIE BURTON: [Sitting in what looks like a classroom] I’m in my son’s classroom at a toddler table.

BRIAN ALESSANDRO: It’s amazing how everyone’s homes have been converted into schools!

BURTON: Yeah, well, we pulled our son from school so early because my husband was doing a movie in Massachusetts and we were traveling back in February [of 2020], and we were like “This shit is nuts! Why isn’t everybody pulling their kids?” We saw everybody at the airport, at JFK, just like falling apart, and we were like, “I don’t know. This seems like something we should keep you home for.”

ALESSANDRO: Smart move! You’re about to appear on The Walking Dead as Lucille, Negan’s dead wife in presumably flashbacks? How did this happen?

BURTON: The comic books set up the basic gist of Lucille, and Negan has certainly talked about her a lot throughout his arc in the series. Jeffrey [Dean Morgan, Burton’s husband] had always said in jest—maybe it wasn’t in jest, who knows—but he would say out loud, “I want my wife to play Lucille,” and nepotism is certainly a strong force within our industry. And then COVID hit and it was like, “I’m not going to kiss some stranger that I haven’t been quarantined with.” But it was good to work with each other. We had never had scenes together. We had been on the same show—we did Grey’s Anatomy at different times. We did a show called Extant together.

ALESSANDRO: Was it at all weird playing a fictional couple in such a macabre story and setting?

BURTON: You don’t even understand the layers of what we were dealing with. There’s been so much loss this year, let me start with that. And so, doing a story about loss in this current climate was really difficult because we know people who have died this year. We’ve suffered a lot of losses this year and having to ground that in a performance and not just be like a big, huge mess on set was hard. On top of all of that, to keep us safe for the filming, they had us quarantined living in the neighborhood that The Walking Dead shoots in. Alexandria is a little subdivision of houses with a big, huge wall, and it’s apocalyptic. There’s trash everywhere, and the water tower and all the sets that you see on television. We lived in Rick Grimes’s house. There were bullet holes in my child’s closet door.

ALESSANDRO. Wow.

BURTON: And big, huge pieces of dry wall missing from stunts that had gone awry. So, we were living in a real apocalypse in the real world living in a rented house in a fake apocalypse and filming the beginning of a pandemic that has been on TV for ten years. There were so many layers of weirdness.

ALESSANDRO: It’s sort of meta! And surreal.

BURTON: It was so meta! And on top of all of that, Halloween happened, so there was trick-or-treating going on. And we were there for the election with Georgia turning blue and all of the upheaval and violence that came with that.

ALESSANDRO: What a moment.

BURTON: To be surrounded by those walls on set every day, and to know what was going on in the real world, was every bit as important and dramatic as what we were making TV about. But our son learned to ride a bike!

ALESSANDRO: On set?

BURTON: We live on a farm in Upstate New York, and so there’s gravel roads, which is not conducive to bike riding. And so he had this entire neighborhood [the Alexandria set] all to himself and would just take off after virtual school. He learned to ride this cool kid grown up bicycle while dodging debris from the last Whisperers War.

ALESSANDRO: What a cool story for him when he grows up to tell people. “I learned how to ride a bike in the middle of The Walking Dead apocalypse while dealing with this real apocalypse.”

BURTON: [Laughs] It was strange! We took a lot of pictures. Seeing my children play on this rusty playground equipment that is a set piece, but that’s what they played on every day after the crew left, was … strange.

ALESSANDRO: I can’t imagine! What has it been like to be at the center of one of the biggest casting decisions in the fan boy and girl universe?

BURTON: I’ve been really nervous about it. There have been conversations about whether or not Negan is a villain and if you had followed Negan’s journey from the beginning the way you followed Rick Grimes, perhaps people would have been more sympathetic to the way he handled things when he was introduced. And so, my role as Lucille is to validate a lot of Negan’s life choices. I think, and I’m probably a little biased, but I dig the Negan of it all. I get him. I’m attracted to him. He’s a terrible dude, but we all turn into terrible people when met with dangerous circumstances. That weighed on me heavily. I think playing a character who is ill during a time when so much of our country has been faced with illness and loss really weighed on me heavily. When you’re dealing with losing your most cherished person, there’s going to be a big percentage of the fan base that has dealt with that in the last year. It’s recent history.

ALESSANDRO: Very fresh wounds.

BURTON: I didn’t want to cheapen anything for them. So, it’s messy. It’s a messy story.

ALESSANDRO: Compelling, too, though. When do your episodes air? In how many episodes does Lucille appear?

BURTON: Just one episode. They do these bottle episodes that are wonderful. Normally when you’re filming a TV show, particularly a big TV show, if you work a 12-hour day, it’s like, “Oh my god, we’re gonna get home! This is great! It’s the shortest day ever!” Normally, it’s like 15-16-hour days and that’s normal, but given the restrictions of COVID they were only allowed to shoot ten-hour days. And so, we did these bottle episodes where the scenes are longer. It’s like doing a play. Jeffrey and I would learn all our words for that day and perform everything like a play in order to get it done quickly and efficiently, and it really change the pace of the work. It was like we were putting on a play for 30 crew members every day. It didn’t feel like we were making a television show.

ALESSANDRO: It’s remarkable that anyone is getting anything done right now, let alone these kinds of large-scale productions.

BURTON: I was so nervous, but I never felt safer, because the daily testing they did gave me such peace of mind. I go to the food line now and I’m so worried that I’m bringing something home, but I knew in Georgia whether or not I had something because the production made it such a priority to take care of everyone from the top down.

ALESSANDRO: When does your episode air?

BURTON: I believe it’s April 4th. That’s the tentative date right now. It’s the last of the six bottle episodes.

ALESSANDRO: Can you say yet if Lucille’s coming back?

BURTON: Dude, who fucking knows?! [Both laugh] You know! It’s The Walking Dead! I was just so flattered that they invited me to begin with. I know Angela [Kang, The Walking Dead showrunner] as my husband’s boss, a cool person to hang out with. She’d come to the farm before the pandemic hit. She was the last guest we had at the farm. And so, her and Scott Gimple [the chief content officer of The Walking Dead] believing in me to be able to handle that really meant a lot.

ALESSANDRO: Let’s shift gears for a bit. You’ve recently co-produced a documentary about the Wilmington massacre called Wilmington on Fire 2. What brought you to this project?

BURTON: I reached out to Chris [Everett, producer and director of Wilmington on Fire 2] after I had seen [Wilmington on Fire] and a number of actor friends from the Wilmington [North Carolina] area told me that I had to watch this. So, I watched it, and it was really eye-opening. I had lived in the historic district of Wilmington. I had lived two houses down from the lawyer who represented all the white supremacists who overtook the government in 1898. I’d been inside his home. I had no idea I was treading in this place where someone truly evil lived. Someone who had justified their actions, and changed the course of Wilmington’s history. It really shook me that I didn’t know about it. I felt stupid. And so, I reached out to Chris and asked him to come on my Instagram and give a talk about it.

ALESSANDRO: I watched it! You were both great!

BURTON: Oh, you did!

ALESSANDRO: Yeah!

BURTON: I just think sitting down and talking about stuff is a really healthy way to educate people in a way that isn’t preachy. Chris is a very good storyteller. He knows what he wants to say with his work. And so, he told me he was doing the sequel, and I said, “Well, here, let me throw some money at you, and then also let me help you drum up the rest of your funding.” I didn’t want to impose in the storytelling part of it because I really believe in how he is telling these stories, but I’ll cheerlead all day long. That’s the job of some producers. Be the hype-man!

What’s also important about Wilmington on Fire is that it specifically addresses reparations, which is not something that white communities talk about. It is very taboo. The sentiment is, “We solved those problems! Generations have gone by. I didn’t do this. Why do I have to pay for it?” And what I think is so important about the Wilmington on Fire story is that it is recent history. I knew my great-grandmother who was alive when that happened. You know, we’re not so far removed that we can’t trace the families who were directly affected by it, and it’s proven that reparations do help. And I think this chapter two lays out a very compelling argument for why we should take responsibility for what happened in 1898. I got a lot of heat on social media since last summer when I really started speaking up about this stuff. People accuse you of being a coastal elite. I literally just put out an entire book about how I left Los Angeles and moved to a rural farming community [The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons from Down on Mischief Farm]. My county couldn’t be more Republican. And I grew up in Virginia, I grew up on gun ranges, my father was in the military. I grew up surrounded by Republicans. And there is a major difference between the Republican party I remember as a child and what has manifested as a result of the Tea Party movement. White women—we’re 55 percent of that vote for Trump, and so it’s the job of white women who understand the community to speak up against it.

ALESSANDRO: How have the trolls responded to your rebuttal?

BURTON: [Laughs] Yeah, you know, they’re not into it. I get a lot of, “We thought you were a nice girl.” Which baffles me! I’ve never played a nice girl. I don’t think I’ve ever been nice in any of my interviews. I’m always kind of a surly lady. I don’t know where that mythology came from. I’m not a nice girl. I say exactly what I think, and a lot of the trolls have a problem with it. And that’s okay. I think it’s important to have a line in the sand when it comes to things you feel passionately about. That is something that is a dealbreaker for me.

ALESSANDRO: It also says a lot about you to have the right enemies.

BURTON: Who was it that said, “Show me a man with no enemies and I’ll show you a man with no conviction”?

ALESSANDRO: It might have been Hemingway or Roosevelt. A writer or a politician like a hundred years ago. [Ed. note: it was Paul Newman: “A man with no enemies is a man with no conviction.”]

BURTON: It was one of those grumpy old guys, but yeah, we’ll co-opt it. It’s rough because you want to maintain an open line of communication with the people you feel can hear what you’re saying and know when to draw the line when someone is so indoctrinated that they’ve fallen in with hate. Or conspiracy. And that has become very difficult to navigate.

ALESSANDRO: With regard to your social media, which is activism-heavy, is it that when you have such a platform and audience it’s hard not to say something?

BURTON: I am in a position where if I never work again, my husband works a lot. It’s a position of privilege. And to not use that privilege seems really irresponsible. We all get different tools, and mine, I guess, has been a big mouth. Not a “nice girl,” remember?

[Both laugh]

ALESSANDRO: “Hilarie Burton is NOT a nice girl!”

BURTON: Who the fuck told people I was?! I am on the board for Astor Family Services in Rhinebeck, New York, which is a mental health facility for children who have been dealt a really bad hand. These are kids who are dealing with trauma. You would be amazed how little these professionals are paid to take care of these at-risk kids, and that bothered me.

ALESSANDRO. I hear you. And I have to say thank you for that. My background is in clinical psychology and I taught at an at-risk school in Queens for ten years, so I know firsthand the perils and the hardships of it, and it’s very powerful what you’ve done to help facilitate what they do.

BURTON: Right on. Thank you!

ALESSANDRO: I’ve seen and read interviews with you over the course of the last 15-20 years, and you’ve always struck me as very grounded, unfazed by success and celebrity. To what do you attribute your perspective?

BURTON: That’s really nice of you to say because I don’t take that lightly. That’s a slippery slope in this business. I have certainly fallen prey to it in my life. I think working at MTV as a teenager was probably the best education I could have gotten in our business because I saw the biggest stars in the world come in with their managers and agents and publicists and entourage and then a year later, they would come back with nobody and there would be no kids out in Times Square, and no one would give a shit anymore. It’s all so fleeting and it’s so fake and I’ve watched so many people trade in the most intimate moments of their life for magazine covers, and so I never wanted to cheapen the things I really loved with that. I’ve tried to remain really transparent about the bad stuff, too. I wrote the book and I keep getting feedback—“Oh, you talk about your miscarriages! Oh, you talk about bickering with your husband! Oh, you talk a lot about the messy stuff!” I think it’s so important to keep the bar really low. You run the risk of disappointing yourself when you sell the façade. Look, I’m gonna fuck up a lot, but if I’m upfront about it, then fine!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Thor: Ragnarok review

Thor has had the worst track when it comes to the MCU. His first outing was an okay-at-best adventure that took place with a cast of boring, unfunny humans instead of on Asgard where cool shit happened. When you start out your trilogy with someone like Kenneth Branagh directing and even he can’t make it cool, you know you’re in trouble. Then we come to his appearance in The Avengers, where he does decent but still gets outshone quite a bit by the rest of the cast. Then we get to Thor: The Dark World, one of the worst superhero films ever made… the less said about it the better. Then comes Age of Ultron and Thor’s overall role is negligible, especially with his weird cave dream sequence which doesn’t amount to too much. All of this build’s Thor up as one of the least-interesting Avengers, which is a damn shame, because Chris Hemsworth plays the role with such charm and enthusiasm, it’s sad to see his efforts go to waste…

...And then comes Thor: Ragnarok, and it blows all that bullshit out of the water by doing a soft reboot to the whole Thor series. Sure, the bullshit before is still canon, but Thor got dumped by his human girlfriend so we don’t need to put up with those fucks anymore, the movie takes place mostly in the cosmos which were the best parts of the other Thor movies, and best of all we have a director who knows what we want to see and gives it to us with cheesy 80s and Jack Kirby aesthetic: Taika Waititi. More than anyone before him, he seems to really GET what makes Thor so cool in the first place, and what makes comic book movies cool in general. The other Thor movies are naught but a whimper to this film’s epic Led Zeppelin metal scream. But how? How did this film fix the fatal flaws of the films that came before?

First let’s give you a rundown of the story: It has been two years since Thor has left Earth. His girlfriend has dumped him, he has found no Infinity Stones, and as soon as he returns to Asgard he finds out Loki has hijacked the throne and hid his father, Odin, on Earth. And just when things don’t seem like they could get any worse, Odin dies and releases the wicked Hela, his firstborn child who was banished long ago for being an evil bitch. She makes it to Asgard and starts trying to dominate everything, while Thor and Loki end up on the planet of Sakaar… though Thor is stuck fighting in gladiator battles while Loki, who through temporal bullshit showed up a week earlier, has sucked up to the grandiose ruler known as the Grandmaster and landed himself in a cushy position. Soon enough Thor is up in the gladiator arena against his old pal, the Hulk, and from here Thor tries to figure out how he can get back to Asgard and whoop Hela’s ass. Can the mighty Thor manage this impossible feat, or is Ragnarok finally upon him?

The reason this movie works so well is that the film has moved away from dull Earth settings and into cosmic realms with a heavy 1980s sci-fi and Jack Kirby influence. Earth was not a very interesting setting for a character who is supposed to be a mighty physical god; the earlier films never really played to his strengths, as evidenced by the main villains being meek and unimposing in comparison to a swaggering viking like Thor. This is not much of a problem here, where all the foes Thor matches up against are more than able to measure up. Over the course of the film he does battle with the fire demon Surtur, his evil death goddess sister Hela, and of course the not-so-jolly green giant himself, Hulk. These are foes that actually give Thor a realistic challenge, and while there are obviously still scenes of Thor fighting mooks, there are actually antagonists that can put up solid fights themselves. It’s a real breath of fresh air!

Speaking of the characters, and continuing on with how moving away from the structure of the old film’s was a good thing… the previous supporting casts of the Thor movies were one of the greatest weaknesses. They were good actors (and Kat Dennings) in awful roles. But in THIS film, we get a supporting cast worthy of Thor! Gone is the dull Natalie Portman and the horrendously unfunny Kat Dennings characters that have bogged down the films in the past! Say hello to the new supporting cast of characters, with the badass Valkyrie and the charming goofball Korg! Valkyrie is an awesome, badass, worthy partner for Thor, who has a solid backstory and good characterization for her first film. Korg is just an absolutely lovable doofus; played by Taika Waititi himself, he exists mostly to add a bit of levity to the proceedings, which is easy to do as he is a hulking rock monster with a very soft, pleasant voice. These two are highlights of the movie, worthy newcomers and allies to Thor, and I hope they pop up more in the future. The interactions they could have if they meet up with the Avengers would be astounding.

Of course, we also have villains to take into account here, and it’s a bit of a mixed bag. Not in terms of quality mind you, because the performances are all well-done, it’s just that the villains tended to be underutilized. Hela is the chief example; yes, she has plenty of scenes where she’s badass, Cate Blanchett is perfect as her, and by fucking god that scene where she kills all the valkyries in flashback is one of the most gorgeous scenes I’ve ever seen in superhero cinema. But she’s a bit underutilized and barely deals with Thor until the very end of the film after their brief meetup. Still, she gets some cool fight scenes, so it does even out a bit, I just feel she deserved some more attention, especially with her interesting backstory. Surtur is quite a victim of this problem too, as instead of serving as a big bad, he’s relegated to a plot device after his defeat in the opening – a plot device I shall not reveal any spoilers on. Needless to say, he’s cool in his appearances, but he could have done a lot more. Thankfully, these two characters could possibly return, as their final scenes do leave things a bit open-ended.

But there is one antagonist who I can heap nothing but lavish praise upon: The Grandmaster. This is Jeff Goldblum dressed in the gaudiest clothing imaginable just… Jeff Goldbluming it up. He is absolutely perfect, hilarious, delightfully weird… it is everything I could have wanted from Jeff Goldblum in a Marvel film. There is not a single scene he’s in that’s unenjoyable, and I can’t wait for him to show up again so he can potentially interact with his equally scene-stealing weirdo brother, The Collector. Benicio Del Toro and Jeff Goldblum weirding it up onscreen together… It would be the stuff legends are made of. But yes, Goldblum, he’s a highlight of the film.

Now on to the returning characters: Odin is okay. Anthony Hopkins does a great job playing Loki pretending to be Odin, but his death scene is a bit rushed when taken out of context of the Thor series as a whole. It starts so near the beginning and wraps up the arc from the previous Thor film so quickly I just ca- oh, wait a second, Thor: The Dark World sucked ass, so why do I care if it’s stupid plot points get thrown out the window? Then we have Loki, who here just goes through the heel-face revolving door so many times it’s hard to really tell whose side he’s on at any given moment. As usual, his interactions with Thor are fantastic and enjoyable; they really do feel like bickering brothers who deep down do love each other, and Loki also gets some of the most hilarious moments during the Thor vs. Hulk gladiator fight. He’s solidly done, and Tom Hiddleston also gets a few scenes where he gets to ham it up, which is a big plus.

And then we have Doctor Strange, in a very brief cameo appearance that builds off the stinger of his film… and this scene is fucking awful. It’s supposed to be some goofy, lighthearted jokiness but it’s just so forced, awkward, and shoehorned into the film; it’s clearly only there to beat you over the head with the fact this movie takes place in a shared universe with other heroes. To be perfectly frank, the entirety of Thor and Loki’s trip could be cut out of the film with zero effect on the plot. It is just utterly irrelevant fanservice. The joke about Loki falling for thirty minutes though, that was funny, and it almost makes the scene worthwhile. Credit where credit is due, I laughed.

And now, the big one: Hulk. This is Hulk’s absolute best film appearance yet. He talks, he gets some personality to him, he gets good chemistry with Thor, and all his fight scenes are a blast, finally pitting Hulk against worthy foes (hey, he and Thor both finally get to fight people who are a good match)! And if you think Hulk’s the only one getting in on the fun, Banner shows up too and gets in on the fun; after two years stuck in Hulk form, Banner is a bit loopy, and gets tons of goofy, manic lines and great chemistry with Thor. Ruffalo is at the top of his game here; let’s see him keep this up in his next appearances.

Every fight scene is awesome, the score by Mark Mothersbaugh is awesome, every time “Immigrant Song” kicks up it’s the absolute peak of awesome… there’s nothing about this film that doesn’t scream “AWESOME!” Okay, well, there are a few things, as I’ve mentioned, but the pros heavily outweighs the cons. The awesome 80s Saturday morning cartoon sci-fi aesthetic fits Thor like a glove, giving him an enjoyable identity rather than the gloomy, overwrought, and often half-baked tone that has plagued his films in the past. This is a Thor film worthy of being a Thor film, and while I can’t say this is Marvel’s best film yet (I still like the Guardians of the Galaxy films and Civil War more), this is easily top ten best Marvel movies material, and one of this year's finest superhero films, and this is a damn good year for superhero movies! This one gets a recommendation for me, especially if you love throwbacks to the awesomely trashy and cheesy 80s sci-fi of the 80s… and boy fucking howdy do I love that shit.

This is science fantasy at its most fun, and I pray to all the gods of Asgard that Taika Waititi gets to keep the reigns of Thor for the foreseeable future. This man knows how to show us a good time; let’s let him keep doing it for a while longer. We need a bit more making up for the first two crappy Thor films, y’know?