#the voices are speaking and they're loud
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good pets deserve gentle love.
#the watermark looks UGLYyyy#anyways#is that time of the year#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere#original character#original art#the voices are speaking and they're loud
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Yeah yeah jedi Maul au we've all seen him. But what about senator Maul au. Representing Dathomir, a neutral world like Mandalore that is still somewhat hostile to outsiders. Wearing fancy clothes that show a bit too much skin for the cold climate of Coruscant. Falling in hate at first sight with Padmé, the only other senator who brings a gun to the senate floor "just in case". The two of them having a weird rivalry because Maul doesn't trust the Jedi and is neutral in a lot of subjects that Padmé is a vocal defender of.
#hm i should make an original post tag#maul#darth maul#padmé#<- she gets tagged too because she is very in my thoughts as i imagine this#sorry i watched the phantom menace bonus dvd and all the making of stuff made me Think#i want to put maul in fancy clothes and situations#he still votes with padmé in a lot of stuff btw. he just refuses to defend it out loud#because first of all he has his pride#second of all he's not here to speak for himself like all those selfish old men he's here on behalf of the tribes of dathomir#dathomir would probably have a lot more senators than the average world i think. since the tribes are not all unified#so maul would be like. the talzin clan and/or nightbrothers' senator. possibly the only male in the dathomir delegation#and more connected to the dathomir magics and martial arts than to sith philosophy#he'd probably hate both sith and jedi also. they're both freaks who worry too much about light and dark#also. this is half very similar to thoughts i have about an (unrelated) oc i have so i dont want to put this on the main post but also.#he'd probably have a lot of 'fans' who love him for his voice and looks instead of his politics#and i Knoww padmé has fans too. because she is a fashion icon. and very charismatic#so can you imagine. the hot politician fandom drama.#sorry i love creating stupid imaginary internet drama#this and my obimaul begrudging tumblr mutuals who hate each other au. i love creating virtual Situations#senator maul au
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just bruce and jason regularly having sex as a way to blow off steam.
#sometimes i just wanna write more simple basic stuff#okay i actually have so many thoughts and ideas about this but its late and my head is killing me#but like they ofc never talk about it#because communication is not their thing lmao#but having sex is a way to just let the frustration out#and say things they cant with words#and talking about it would make it messier#and blablabla#but then one of them start seeing someone else casually#lets say jason but it works for both really#and bruce isnt prepared for the intense jealousy he feels when he sees them together#and the next time they speak bruce’s voice is clipped and flat#jason catches on quickly#and maybe he starts teasing a bit#purposely rubbing it in#they're still having sex though#and bruce wants to meet more often and comes up with excuses#because ofc he can't say out loud that he wants to see jason more and he wants them to be exclusive#he doesnt want jason with anyone else
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I saw a new show on Discovery recently where they have footage and interview survivors of recent weather natural disasters
The second episode features the 2020 derecho that hit Iowa and Illinois (in particular, the city of Cedar Rapids, IA) especially hard
And while the footage is heart wrenching and disturbing at times, there are some classic Midwesterner moments that made me chuckle
Such as one guy, after the roof was ripped off his home by hurricane force winds, being like "oh no my Xbox :("
#there were multiple moments like that#where I chuckled bc it was such a Midwestern way to approach what was happening#oh also that episode had a mom who deserves an AWARD#she was driving with FIVE KIDS in her car when the derecho hit#and she kept a cool head the entire time she was figuring out what to do and where to go#like pieces of buildings were flying across the road and she kept a level tone#only raising her voice when she found a building they could shelter in#and only doing so to instruct the kids to run as fast as they could inside#and even then she wasn't yelling just speaking loud and firm#seriously I'm in awe of her#the show is really good but it's definitely triggering I will say#there's footage of people thinking they're about to die which is. hard to watch.#it's difficult to see people in foxholes like that#but if you can handle that I recommend it#it's called In the Eye of the Storm#speecher speaks
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Was doing some cursory research about low concentration salicylic as an over-the-counter acne treatment (been having a flare-up, likely due to a combo of stress and shifting environmental factors, and since I'm a terrible skin picker I'm trying to find ways to avoid giving myself scarring without needing to visit a doctor) and as I was scrolling through the Wikipedia page I learned from the epidemiology section that acne apparently affects women slightly more than men:
...and I don't know why, but this really struck me.
I guess I grew up with the belief, picked up from the culture and media around me, that acne was this "greasy teenage boy" problem, in some way inherently unfeminine. I didn't really think boys got it more than girls, I figured that was a stereotype, but I kind of assumed the stats were pretty much equal. And back when I still thought I was a girl, I felt worse about my own acne, since it felt like yet another way I was performing girl/womanhood incorrectly.
Finding out it's actually slightly more common in (cis) women is throwing me for a loop, even though it rightly shouldn't be - that's a very neutral and harmless fact! But you never see acne treated as just a feature of a teenage girl's face, it's always something awful that needs to be fixed (never mind that in real life, you often can't "fix" acne completely, can only manage it). That's not to say it's treated as something positive in boys either - usually boys with acne are also treated as undesirable, be that a loveable nerd or just a creepy loser - but I'm not sure I've ever even seen a girl character with even moderate acne (like I had at that age, though it certainly felt severe at the time) on screen.
I took isotretinoin for my acne in school, which is a pretty powerful medication that is highly effective at stopping acne but also comes with some serious risks - I had to take regular blood tests when I was on it to make sure it wasn't killing my liver. Due to my (mentioned before on this blog, lol) massive phobia of all things medical and spiky, I fainted for every single one of these. On top of that, it increased my already very high (I'm about as white as you can get) sensitivity to sun, so I couldn't go out even on cloudy days without suncream. And it causes birth defects, so they kept making me take supervised pregnancy tests "just in case" for months, until I changed dermatologists and the new one was like "what? why? no, you don't have to do those, just sign a thing saying you're not sexually active and it's not our fault if you're lying about that and you're chill".
It was a Lot, is what I'm saying.
Isotretinoin isn't the first port of call for treating acne - my GP tried several topical solutions and two different kinds of antibiotics (one of which I was allergic to, which naturally, me being me, I discovered by fainting about it. Again. in music class, this time) before finally referring me to the dermatologist who was allowed to prescribe me The Serious Drugs. Moreover, I stand by my decision! I wasn't pressured into taking it by family or friends, I was allowed to make my own choices, and going through all that rigmarole was absolutely my choice.
...I might even have taken the same choice if I'd lived in a society without all this weird stuff around acne, to be honest. As mentioned at the top of the post, I have a skin picking problem and acne not only doesn't help with that, it was causing me actual pain.
But also. I don't know. The societal stuff didn't help at all. My dermatologist suggested at the time that insecurity about my acne might be contributing to my chronic neck and upper back pain, of all things (much like the acne, something that started in my teens but hasn't stopped since I left them), since it might be making it harder for me to stand up straight with confidence. I laughed the idea off at the time, but now... I don't know. It could certainly have been a contributing factor.
I wish I had a call to action here, but I don't really know what can be done about this, especially not at the individual level. This is a societal gender discrimination issue, and I guess an ableism issue as well? I wouldn't normally call my acne a disability, but it is certainly a medical condition, and it does affect my life (and acne can certainly be the basis of unconscious discrimination, though I'm very grateful that that hasn't been something I've faced personally). If anyone has any more productive suggestions, feel free to add them onto this post. And I guess, put characters with acne in your stories? Including women, and including adults! 5% is one in twenty. One in every twenty 40+ year old women (according to that cited study, anyway, which I can't currently verify because my institutional access is fucking broken again) still "have problems" with acne. That might be worth representing.
#asdfjklklhhll no idea what to put here#normally i put all my opinions in the tags but this time my opinions are in the post#acne sucks and if i could press a button to remove it from the world entirely tomorrow i probably would#not fair to peoples bodily autonomy i know but also there are very very very few people who WANT to have acne#and i suspect that would be true even without the societal pressure. it's annoying and has basically no upsides#however. it drives me fucking spare the way we barely depict it in stories. and even when we do it's almost always to signify a villain#or the classic “teenage girl gets one (1) pimple and screams loud enough to take the roof off about it'' story which i HATE#it speaks to a very real fear and anxiety teen girls experience about this stuff but#a) does so with very little sympathy to the girls in question. instead potraying them as vain#and b) I'm sorry. you mean to tell me you think teen girls are shocked or horrrified at the concept of a pimple?#even if it's mild they get at least one of those a week. they're not screaming the house down every time it happens they'd lose their voice#they might be super upset about it but it's a much more resigned sort of despair. trust me#...huh i guess i did still have some opinions left#i am the personification of the guy in xkcd 2134 lol#anyway. acne bad. send post
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 7: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should go on a 5 day journey to find the Innkeeper's weird brother who studies animals, and show him the Suspicious Egg….
~
The next morning he wakes early, buzzing with renewed purpose, and also minor back pain from sleeping on old potato sacks.. After a meager breakfast of more free leftover scraps, the Innkeeper stops him before he leaves, giving him a few extra supplies for the long journey, as she can tell he doesn't have much. He packs up and sets out onto the road once again, crumpled sketchy map in hand...
He has a fairly uneventful journey for the first day - waving at the occasional other travelers as they pass, cleaning his boots in a nearby pond, stopping to eat some dumplings whilst watching the sunset, and finally setting up a small tent a short ways off the main path, resting with his cat by a dim campfire until they both fall asleep......
The second day, however, does not start as smoothly.. Only a few hours further down the road, he's met with a large barricade, guarded by a group of what seems like elven soldiers from one of the larger surrounding cities of the area. Practicing his confidence, he puts on his best "brave face" (which to others, appears more as some sort of pained wince, like he might have something in his eye), shakily striding right up to the authority figures he is definitely not afraid of.
"Halt, traveler! You cannot pass."
He sways slightly, struggling to keep his wobbly legs under control, "OH, y-yEAH, ssorry, I was-, hh, I was just walking, ~o-out for a stroooll~, haha, so I .. uh.. o-okay. That's.. okay. But, uh.. could, can.. euh.. C-can I ask why? like... why the, uh... blocking off.. of ... the um.. the-"
"Unfortunately, we are not at liberty to disclose any information on the nature of this current road closure. Our sole duty is to maintain security of the barrier."
"hhHeh, ye.. eAh, for sure, I-I get that.. Duty is.. really so... important in ... today's world.. gotta, um.. do the duties.. or, uh.. .. yeah, but.. so, uhhh... wh-Do you know.. maybe, uh... H-how long you'll, like... be here? guarding... and such...??"
"We'll be here as long as we need to be here."
"...O-okay.. but, like.. uh... any,,.... time estimate? hahahehhh?? like, uh.. a day, or... two, or um...??"
"This matter does not concern you, traveler. Move along."
"Aoh, yeahgh, I.. totally.. totally.. it, uh.. Well.. but it kind of does though,, right? B-because I do, in fact, actually have to go down that road at some p-point sssoo, um,... uh.. I-"
"I said move along."
The guard abruptly takes a step forward, causing The Adventurer to yelp as if he'd been hit, tripping over his own feet and scrambling off on hands and knees, lunging into bushes near the rocky roadside.. After exchanging a confused glance, the guards both shrug, resuming their stoic positions at the barrier.
The Adventurer watches from the uncomfortable safety of some berry brambles, surveying the area at a distance and desperately trying to work out how he can still get where he's trying to go. The map given to him by the Innkeeper is pretty straightforward, not showing alternate paths. Based on his primary map, he could maybe think of a few detours, but he's anxiously unfamiliar with the area... How should he proceed?
----
Additional Details - (I decided whenever he gets new items or goals or something, I'll list them at the end just to keep track)
items + to inventory (from the Innkeeper): 2 lunchboxes of vegetable dumplings, 2 canteens of water, a box of tea, one rope, 1 pouch of dried meat, 4 candles, a hand-drawn map
main goal: get to the abandoned castle ruins to see the rare animal specialist about the egg
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#SORRY this took so long. I still want to do this daily or every other day lol. I just had a lot going on the past few days#the story tidbit of this one is slightly longer again because you need spaces to break up dialogue and etc. but much shorter#than the other one still and pretty concise. I tried to leave out a lot of detail and just give the bare minimum again lol#Hopefully his speaking style isn't too grating also ghbjhb.. I'm more familiar with writing dialogue for like.. people to say out loud so#to me I'm always trying to hear it in my head and write eveything exactly how it would be spoken. and to me it sounds fine#if you act it in the exact voice I'm envisioning and have a distinct speaking style where you pause or drag#out words in a specific way - like with particualr cadence and comedic timing - it sounds fine#I'm just not sure if that translates to text as well lol#But he doesn't actually talk often. the past two times have been exceptions since he keeps running into people#And he'll have to talk if he ever actally makes it to the Innkeeper's brother. But most obstacles on the road#are probably prettyy easily dialogue free#ANYWAY...#Love his dramatics.. Imagine if you just take one step towards someone and they scream and throw themselves#onto the ground and run away gjhhjbj#the cat just leisurely trotting over to catch up with him because they're not actually scared#anyway.. ! day 7.. that's like a whole week! except it's been over a week since sometimes it takes me like 2 days lol
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Always so sad when a product that changes other people's daily lives doesn't do the same for you... I know everyone's different but can I be the same here please
#this is about loop earplugs 😔💔#like they're not BAD but. aside from the shape they're not really noticeably better than foam earplugs for me#and in my right ear I can easily put it in place and it'll stay there#but it feels like my left ear is doomed to have Loose Earplug Syndrome. tried a few different caps#but it doesn't ever really feel like it is firmly placed in there#and also. I can still hear my upstairs neighbours moving around noises loud enough to interrupt me falling asleep#with the quiet ones that are meant for sleeping#I just take them out at some point during the night#and the engage ones do mute noise around me somewhat but I can't actually speak with them. my voice buzzes SO loudly inside my own ears#I lose track of what I'm saying immediately#sad though because they were. Not Cheap and I was hoping it'd be a good investment with my noisy neighbour#and I hear a lot of good about them which I believe... but for now they're just kinda. eh#stares out the window wistfully
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phineas and ferb episode that is rated pg13 so they are allowed one f-bomb. candace keeps trying to find the perfect situation to use it but every time she tries she gets interrupted or drowned out by a comically loud horn. meanwhile doofenshmirtz has made the censor-inator because now that they're pg13 he's convinced that vanessa doesnt know any swear words (she knows all of them) and that she'll explode if she hears someone say "shit" so he wants to make the entire tri-state area child-friendly. he flies it over danville in his official blimp and a one-off joke is that his laser hits a rated r movie that's a clear parody of the human centipede or someshit and it turns into a barney-the-dinosaur-ass psa. at the last second perry destroys the inator and knocks it out of the blimp and it fires off one more laser that censors out phineas and ferb's invention before mom can get home. candace tries to finally drop her one-allowed cuss but her voice has given out. perry comes back and makes a little platypus noise (all of those have been swear words the whole time but because nobody speaks platypus nobody notices) and then part of doof's machine crashes into the house (candace is in charge) and ferb says "what the fuck"
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my bad i forgot i'm not allowed to talk in this group chat
#it feels like#the same 3 people vibe incredibly well with 2 of those people being childhood best friends#and then no one else can speak#and ive been trying to make plans to leave because it feels like no one likes me#ive explained how i found two of them incredibly annoying to my old roommate#the repeated ignoring of my boundaries and even saying#'sorry i know u don't like when we sing' in the vc#then just repeatedly singing for like. the entire time they're online#it's SO LOUD when u sing on vc ur gamer headset is not meant to balance it out#especially when u sing with ur head voice#they all give me musical theater major vibes#or music major vibes#of singing all the time#the 2 girls who are best friends will just bring up mutual friends all the time and expect us to remember their names or they get really#confused#even having a mutual friend in the vc while the rest of us are trying to game together like#idk#kaya rambles#they all seem really self absorbed in that sense#where whenever they're online it's about what *they* want to talk about
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NSFW
"Don't forget how badly you said you wanted this when it gets to be too much, 'kay, mama?"
A warning that you paid no mind to and instead giggled at, because Toji kissed your knuckles and your forehead when he finished binding your wrists together. You thought he wouldn't be too hard on you, and even if he was, you have a trick up your sleeve. You know that if you beg hard enough with shimmering eyes, he becomes a little more lenient. He eases up on you and gentleness starts to seep into his actions.
Well, that didn't work. Not this time. This time, he wanted to give you everything you asked for and more.
"Fuck..." Toji groans. "Look at that, ma." He displays his cum soaked, glistening fingers and shows you an update on the juices that have made their way down his wrist. "Come on, open your eyes and look," he says, patting your thigh.
Your bottom lip quivers and your eyes flutter open, your dim, weary gaze darting to the face of the man inflicting all these varying sensations your body is feeling.
"Not at my mug. Look at my hand and my forearm," Toji instructs, trying hard not to smirk at how utterly debauched you look. You look like you're going to cry, again. "Messy girl, you did that."
You mumble something quiet and unintelligible, and like a shark, Toji devours your pathetic attempt to speak. "Louder. I know you can be louder, or do you need some encouragement?" He asks, ghosting the knuckle of his index finger along your slit, resulting in your body full on jolting.
"Sorry!" You cry out, loud enough to have Toji laughing at your frantic repetition. "I said-- said i'm sorry," you stutter out, your voice unsteady.
You're ruined, yet somehow, this is a sight that has Toji's heart racing, like he's falling in love with you for the millionth time. It puts him through a conflict. It makes him want to be nice to you, it also makes him want to add on to your ruin, but more than anything, it sadistically makes him want to see you cry, again.
"Don't be sorry. This is what you wanted, right?" Toji groans, quietly, as he lies back down on his stomach, eyes focusing on your glistening cunt, again. "Wanted me to make you cry from the intensity of it all? Said you could handle being overstimulated, didn't you, ma?" His thumb drags up your slit, slow enough to have your inner thighs trembling as he makes his way up towards your overly sensitive clit. "Stay there," he commands, when you squirm the slightest bit away from him. He goes again, this time, dragging the pads of his index and middle fingers through your slicked folds.
"T-Toji," you whimper, your abdomen clenching and quivering with every one of his touches. "Toji, I--" you gasp, feeling the warmth of his tongue dragging through your folds and when you feel his fingers grazing your entrance, you can't help but whimper in anticipation for what's to come.
"Why are you shaking?" Toji asks, looking up at you, condescendingly. You can't scramble quickly enough to respond, before he's feeding his fingers into your drooling cunt. "Wanna cum?" He asks, taking in the sight of your returning tears with a menacing smirk. You don't know what to say, because on one hand, you get another orgasm, but on the other hand, you know you are going to be pushed past pleasure. "Yeahhh, you do. Look at that pretty face. Gonna make you cum so hard," he purrs, curling his fingers inside of you.
You don't know if you'll make it out of this one. You feel like you're being launched into heaven every time he makes you cum with his fingers and his mouth, but it's an immediate, full speed plummet to hell when he keeps going—keeps rubbing your clit while you spasm and practically choke on your breaths.
"Right there?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in the sounds of your moans. They're higher in pitch, quicker, and constantly interrupted by your sharp gasps. "Oh fuck," he growls. "That's it, huh?"
"I-I'm--" you whimper, "--fuck, fuck." Your chest heaves, your back slightly arching off the bed. "Toji," you call, frenzied by the overwhelming sensations. "I'm gonna die..." you blurt. "G-Gonna die," you cry out, tears spilling down the corners of your eyes and treading down your cheeks.
Toji watches, amusedly, as you struggle to figure out what to do while he keeps building you up. The mobility of your hands is limited due to your wrists being bound together, but your palms are dented by your nails to all hell. You barely have control of your legs, because even though they aren't restrained, Toji handles them however he needs to in order to give you what you asked for without you trying to stop him.
"You're fine. You can take it," he says, over the lewd, squelching sound of his fingers pumping in and out of you. "Last one, and you're giving me ten seconds."
"N-No!"
"Yes," he insists. "It's the last one, gotta make it a-"
It's unexpected, the wet mess you make all over Toji's hand, your thighs, and the sheets. You feel like your whole body is buzzing and your toes are curled so tightly that your feet are starting to hurt from the strain.
The countdown starts the second you start squirming and pressing your hips into the mattress. Toji's arms are hooked around your thighs, holding them open and still so he can use his mouth on you for all ten of those seconds and make a mess out of your overstimulated cunt. His lips are latched around your clit, one of his fingers pumping in and out of you, while you shake and pathetically sob from the borderline painful amount of stimulation. The skin of your palms must be broken by now from how hard you've been digging into them.
"Toj--" you barely manage, before your chest is heaving and racking out another sob.
The ten seconds are up, and Toji immediately eases off of you, releasing your visibly trembling legs so that you can move as you please. He crawls up the bed and sits beside you, quickly undoing the binding of your wrists and tossing the strip away.
"I know... I know, doll," Toji coos, wiping at your tear streaked cheeks. He doesn't instantly scoop you up into his arms, because you not wanting to be touched is definitely a possibility. He just sits there, by your side, and attempts to verbally soothe you while you work to compose yourself. "Just breathe, mama. It's all done. You're gonna be okay."
Once your breathing is more calm and you're not so rattled, he works his way up to touching you, starting with your shaky hands and the crescent shapes that litter your palms. He carefully runs his thumbs over the little marks, monitoring your reaction to make sure he isn't hurting you. He brings your hands up to his lips and kisses your knuckles, moving along each of your fingers and ending where his focus is needed most—your palms.
"You good, ma?" Toji asks, lying down on his side, facing you. He's still not pulling you into his arms, but one of his legs is pressed against yours, just to have some sort of physical contact with you.
"Yeah, I'm fine," you say, offering a soft smile. "It was just..." you hum, thinking.
"Intense?" Toji cuts in, to which you nod. "But I didn't hurt you too bad? You're alright?"
"Yes, baby," you assure. "I would've used my safe word if it was too much for me to handle. We touched on that before we started this, remember?" Your hand goes to cup his cheek, but he intercepts it by grabbing your wrist and bringing your hand up to his lips, again.
"Don't be scared to use that word, ma. Don't ever push your boundaries for me, alright? I don't give a fuck if i'm about to bust. If you're not feeling it, we're gonna stop, okay? The last thing I wanna do is to traumatize you."
"Jesus fuck, you're so sexy," you murmur, curling up into him. Your hand splays over his abdomen and rubs slowly, a simple gesture that makes his cock start throbbing and twitching in his sweats, the longer you do it. "Yes, Toji. I won't ever hesitate," you assure, your words promised, physically, through a kiss. The feeling of your lips against his, only further fuels his arousal. You can feel the way he impatiently kisses you back, like he's trying to inhale you. The way he grips your hip and pulls you so that your body is pressed against him, further communicates his need for more of you.
"I'll be so gentle with you, doll," he mumbles, into your neck, pressing kisses to it, afterwards. "Please? Let me treat you right, this time."
You giggle as he continues murmuring quiet little pleas into your neck, through kisses.
"I wanted you to do it, baby, but alright, treat me your way. The right way."
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji smut#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x you#toji fluff#jjk smut
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MONEY HONEY! — ☆ GOJO SATORU.
➤ popstar!gojo masterlist
headline. fucking your client wasn’t on your bucket list. the famous popstar 'toru' says he can’t perform because of issues he’s having with his voice. but he finds another way to warm up his vocal cords—it involves being between your legs.
word count. 4.2k
warnings. fem! reader, popstar!gojo, pwp, unprotected sex, modern au, he's a whiney brat, overstim, degradation, praise, semi public, impact play, cunnilingus, fingering.
an. lol this was fun 2 write !! ty @osaemu as always for beta'ing
“…nono, you don’t understand. i can’t go out there, i just…can’t—!” gojo mutters, and he’s pacing back and forth. talk about a drama queen. to think you had to deal with this every day, being the infamous satoru gojo’s personal assistant was never an easy task. his attire was…quite enthralling, to say the least. gojo was draped up in a sheeny black one-piece with rhinestones attached in a few places, he always had his outfits designed a certain way. not too tight, not too big.
you sat on the sofa, taking a sip of a latte he bought you as thanks for saving him to deal with the hoards of paparazzi that practically lived outside the stadium back-way entrance.
“satoru, you do this before every show,” you sigh, glancing at him. you couldn’t lie to yourself, he was strikingly handsome. gojo’s hair was a tad bit messy and ruffled. it was a slight v-cut towards his chest to show a bit of skin. his fangirls always went wild over the most minimal things such as that. “you do realize you’re supposed to be performing in front of 10,000 people? canceling right before a show isn’t a good l—”
“i know…i know,” he pouts, and he’s so unserious, you sort of found it hard to believe this was a millionaire pop star who’s such a household name. gojo lets off a loud sigh before walking towards you with a sheepish grin. “these cough drops you’ve been givinʼ me haven’t done shit.”
“really...” you deadpan, casually giving him nothing but a sly eye roll.
gojo sulks and he’s just a few feet apart from you now. “mhm…really,” he says, and the slight rasp in his voice catches your attention. his earpiece was still on, as well with his mic that hung just barely underneath his chin. “i did research though. about other methods that help with heh, um vocal fry..”
you stare up at the popstar, and he’s returning the gaze…as if he was trying to hide the smile that was already forming against his pink lips. you don’t give him an answer and this time, he’s the one to roll his eyes.
“…well since you asked so nicely,” he grumbles, the same pout going against his face before he pulls out his phone. gojo scrolls a thumb down against his bright screen before clearing his throat. “hm, according to this accurate article, it says… to fully recover from vocal fry, a guy must uh, receive a special treat within a woman’s—”
you blankly stare at him, already second-guessing his fake response. “just say you want to eat me out, satoru.”
“wha— where’d you get that impression?” he plays dumb, furrowing his eyebrows and cowardly looking around the room. a few seconds go by before he shrugs, speaking quickly, defeated. “….fine i wanna eat you out. hmph.”
you turn your head for a brief moment, hearing the defending roars of the crowd just a few areas down from the dressing room the two of you currently stayed in. “maybe after your show, they're chanting for y—”
“they can wait,” he frowns, and he turns you around, two hands softly holding onto your shoulders. gojo remained with a pout, bottom lip just slightly tucking underneath the top one. “i can’t.”
the both of you grow quiet for a long moment, and gojo seems serious—dramatic, but serious. you and him both exchanged sensual eye contact, and you were so close to gojo that you could practically smell the strong cinnamon scent of his intoxicating cologne. the popstar smooths his lips together before briefly shifting his eyes down at the floor and then back up at you.
“five minutes…five minutes, that isn't too long is it?” he stammers, and the gaze the two of you made starts to get more and more intense. “i won’t get into too much trouble if it's just five minutes right?”
“you’re insufferable.” you mumble, letting off a soft sigh. “okay, five minutes. if you say this helps with your—vocal whatever.”
not much to your surprise, five minutes turned into half an hour.
you held back a moan the sudden second you felt gojo’s warm tongue swiftly lap against your drenched folds. he made you wriggle against him, and you maintained a rough grip against the laid-back sofa.
“s-satoru,” you’d whimper out, gasping at how sloppy he was. you were prompt up in such a position to where you were bent over the arm part of the couch, skirt lifted, fishnets just barely pulled down, and the most vulgar expression. “oh my g-goddd, you're gonna make the others outside h-hear.”
“you’ll just have to be a little more quiet, assistant,” he whispers, cool breath fanning against your pussy. perhaps this was unprofessional, no it was very unprofessional. a plethora of following consequences started to race through your mind. “what time is it?”
you moaned, reaching near the wooden half table for his watch and read the time, “um.. quarter past eight.”
“aw man,” he sulks, softly licking the your tender pulsating numb with the very tip of his tongue. with a quick second, he maneuvers circles all over your clit to feel you squirm and jitter against him. “that much time passed? can’t stand rushing…”
as you cling onto the fluffed couch, your black pencil skirt that was just sluggishly raised, and yet, you continued to gnaw the inside of your lip from the feelings of his tongue, entirely sloppy.
the slurps that exited from his mouth had your bottom lip quivering in such desire. you craved more, the way he swirled and curved the length of his tongue throughout your pussy earned umpteen gasps and whines from you.
“s—satoru,” you’d croak out, and he’s casually taking the time to make out with your folds. languidly, your slick race down his chin, and between breaks to breathe, he'd lap up his tongue before diving back in. “fuck, ‘m gonna cum again, think ‘m gonna cum..”
“wait a little longer, yeah?” he murmurs, grabbing the fat of your ass with two rough hands. you felt bundles of butterflies stir inside your stomach, feeling gojo’s nose swipe against your folds for a few jiffs. “let me eat, haven't had a good meal all fuckin’ day.”
you swallowed, not even facing him but you could practically see the grin stretching across his lips. “and…and who’s fault was that?”
he chuckles, warm breath fanning against your cunt. “okay, you have a point,” and your thighs feel feverish—you’re so hot, and not because of the sudden humidity wafting around the small dressing room.
the popstar lolls out his tongue, humming before you moan, feeling him lick your pussy in a straight direction. “mhm, this is better than anything else though.”
you were about to speak, but all that did was make you let out a shaky whine. the smooth pads of his thumbs graze against both parts of your ass as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. it was as if time stood still, your mouth grew exceedingly dry and your legs felt like they could barely stand up on their own.
“sa..satoru,” you once more repeated, not knowing how long you could last. simply, his tongue was dangerous—god, it was just the way he moved it in every direction.
he knew where to lick, where to suck, and even nibble. gojo found himself tickling his tongue against your little nub before sucking on it. all to hear you cry out in desperation. cacophonies of whimpers depart from your glossed lips such as, ‘satoru,’ ‘please-please,’ and ‘m gonna c-cum.’
there was no denying, gojo had you an entire stammering mess. you found yourself even questioning how this became, the two of you were never intimate. although, there's always been steamy moments between the two of you.
for instance, there was a moment where gojo took you with him to the hot springs while he was on tour…which non-surprisingly led to a hot make-out sesh. that was a few months ago, and the two of you decided to not think much of it. of course, though, there are always assumptions being made about the two of you—always from the nosy journalists and interviewers.
each interview, it’d always be questions they’d ask about the precious little assistant that’s essentially attached by the hip to the famous gojo satoru.
“are you and that girl exclusive yet?”
“how long have you two seen each other?”
“please. describe to us. what’s she like in b—”
they’d get more perverted each time. alas, gojo always loathed it whenever the press referred to you as ‘that’ girl.
his jaw would always clench in sheer annoyance. perhaps he didn't have the right to feel that way, but he was somewhat protective over you. it wasn't like you were his bodyguard or anything clearly, but still. he always liked how you treated him just like you’d treat anyone else.
“satoru..” you'd cut him off from his deep thoughts. “your phone keeps beeping.”
“huuuuh?” he grouches, ears perking at the annoying screech of his device. gojo’s thumbs remain against both edges of your ass before he breaks off his lips, a long string of his saliva running down your slit. “oh, can you hand it to me?”
he's so nonchalant, and with your back still arched, you lightly fling his phone towards him.
he grumbles.
picking up the phone, typing in his twenty-one digit passcode of ‘sexymansexyspraycan69’ before with a click, it unlocks. gojo darts his eyes towards his phone and hums at the five messages left by his manager, kento nanami.
‘Greetings. Where are you? Message me Ass.’
‘ASAP. Autocorrect.’
‘Your fans think your dead.’
‘Don’t tell me you're busy with that assistant of yours again.’
‘When your sales start going low, don't blame me.’
and many more unread, “blah blah yeah yeah,” gojo murmurs, skimming through the loads of unread gray bubbled messages. “nothing important. geez, can't have a single moment to myself.”
you were so close to orgasming and that's when gojo flips you over to face him—you're panting and he flashes you a soft smile, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “aw, waiting for me?” he whispers, bringing a gentle kiss towards the inner corner of your neck. his touch was immensely warm, something you just couldn't describe. “you wanna cum don't you, baby?
“m-mhmm.” was all you could manage out, wrapping your arms around him as he got right between you. gojo continues to trail kisses down your neck before chuckling.
“use those words, c’mon. don't be shy. i wanna hear ya tell me what you want.”
the way he was such a tease, you couldn't stand him, then again you could. so annoying, gojo’s warmth of his performing outfit brushed against your skin. the perfectly knitted fabric of it dancing against your skin as he inched closer towards you. “tell me how much of a messy girl you wanna be.”
“i—” you started, and he took a moment to stare into your eyes. gojo looked so pretty, smug yes, but pretty. long lashes each time he blinked, fluttering against him. whenever he showcased that well-known cheeky smile of his, his dimples would poke right against his lips. “i-i wanna cum. please, lemme cum, ‘toru..”
“pretty girllll wants to cummmm,” he sings in a playful melodic tune. again, you couldn't stand him. singing right in the middle of something so intimate. gojo runs a hand down your buttoned-up shirt before chuckling. “hm, i suppose. go ahead, let go fʼr me.”
once you do, immediately your vision turns dizzy. all you saw was a few blotches of white, and it feels so good that the feelings have you biting down on your lip. gojo leans into your neck, whispering sweet nothings against you while giving your ass a soft caress.
“good girl, just let go…yeah,” he purrs, giving your collarbone a gentle suck. you taste so sweet to him. you're addicting, simple as that. like candy, he can't get enough of.
gojo satoru had a sweet tooth for you, there was no doubt about it. “fuck, i can just suck on you all day,” he utters in a low voice, and his warm hands part your thighs so he can get a bit more between you. “i need more…fuck the fans, i need you.”
“idiot, don’t say that..” you moan, and he's kissing all down the crevices of your neck again. gojo’s lips against your tender skin gave you chills. even still, you were so hot, from the neck down. it felt amazing, the feeling of him sucking and kissing against your skin to such a point that you're just throbbing. “t-they’re waiting for you.”
“they can keep waiting,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss near your chest, moving the exclusive backstage lanyard pass away with a slight grip. “damn, you don't know how hard i’ve been during rehearsal. i—i think about you, you know?”
you gawk up at him as his body towers over you, his costume glimmers in the light before he starts to peel it off carefully. you were taken by surprise so you mutter, “you…you do?”
“well yeah girl,” he rolls his eyes, such sass in his tone, following with the low rasp that hid underneath his voice. “you drive me crazy in the worst way.”
“the feeling’s mutual, popstar.” you utter, a glint in your eye.
“hmpf. now that i was nice enough to let you cum, you decide to be a brat, huh?” he raises a brow, using two fingers to brush his mic piece aside.
a coyish grin goes against your lips. “sorry. are you gonna do anything about it?”
“…shut up..” he grumbles, and he does.
pretty much, you then found yourself on your hands and knees on the couch, feeling gojo caress your ass briefly before meeting the mounds of your skin with a mean spank.
you suck in shortened breath. “ooh,” he says as you moan in unison with the light thwack. “you get off on spanks, huh?” he utters in a grouse, the feeling of his palm kissing against your skin making you continuously pulse.
“n-no.” you spat.
“liar,” he matches your snarky tone, and you let off a gasp once you feel him finally rub the tip of his dick against your folds. gojo grows abnormally quiet the minute your slick coats his length freely. “fuckkk,” he sighs, eyes closing for a short second. you teasingly wriggled your ass against him and he spanks you again. “you’re so impatient, wait.”
“do you even know how to fuck?” you slip out, and you held back a giggle. perhaps you shouldn't have said that, your thoughts did speak way more than they should anyway.
gojo’s eyebrows curl into a furrow, and his voice genuinely sounds offended. “wha—?! of course i do.”
“just asking.” you tease.
“just asking,” he mocks your tone, completely butchering it purposely and gojo slowly starts to make his way inside of your tight pussy. he's gradually moving himself in, and you let off a moan before he continues, “yeah. shut the f-fuck up.”
a small grin stretches against your lips because you hear how gojo stutters whilst sinking inches into you. even while trying to be mean and degrading, he was so close to moaning himself. it was simply adorable. you maintained a mere pristine arch while biting the inside of your cheek once more.
“you're s-so wet ‘n sloppy,” he huffs out a groan, and the squelches your pussy made against him were simply enticing. for a second, you grew mute once you gave your own body a listen. just the faint sounds of gojo’s jagged breathing, “f-fuck, ‘s good. keep facing that way, just like that. good.”
gojo’s touch against your spine was purely gossamer.
he was soft, gentle, delicate.
yet the minute he started to create a pace with his rollicked hips, he couldn't contain himself. the way his dick probed throughout your walls, you kissed your teeth in longing—just for him to just hurry.
gojo was always such a tease, the fat plump head of his cock dabbing against your pussy.
“s-stop playing and just put it in.” you moaned, growing impatient by the mile.
“heh, you know what they say,” he mumbles, you pulse even more once you feel him slide in about a single inch or two…only to then go right back out. “patience is a virgin.”
“…it’s virtue.”
“that’s what i sai—”
“just fuck me.” you whined.
gojo giggles, and finally, he starts up his slovenly pace again. he grips your hips before sighing. he takes note of the way you progressively suck him in.
you linger over the couch, the fabric of your pencil skirt just hovering over your waist before gojo starts to sway his hips.
you had to stop yourself from being so noisy, executives were probably in the other room.
some kind of meeting perhaps occurring, yet here you were, happily entangled with your client. such thick inches he was dumping into you had nearly drooling. gojo’s base was rotund and fat, thwacking and thwacking against you to where you were so dizzy.
“f-fuck, ‘toru.. ‘s good,” you whined, every few seconds he’d smack your ass to watch your ass jiggle with such recoil. it was one of his favorite moments to witness. as your lips stuck together, your thighs already felt weak and tremulous.
“damn girl…didn't expect you to s-start throwin’ yourself back again me,” he sibilates, and for a concise moment, his head goes back. a groan flies past his glossed pink lips as your ass continued to thrash against him. “you're such a needy girl. tryna…f-fuck me back..”
the way his voice unintentionally got low whenever he was in such a trance had you throbbing, such convulses making you nearly weak in the knees.
to you, the feeling was indescribable. such pools of heat ran between your legs the more his thrusts picked up.
his dick reached every spot, so much so being precise—you felt the curve of his length analyze throughout your inner walls. it didn't miss a spot, he reached deep and you let off the cutest whimper. “god, r-right there. please, ‘toru. y-your curve, ‘s reaching me deep.”
“you f-flatter me,” he pants, trying to ignore his flusteredness. gojo’s right hand, the hand that had a half-cut open glitter glove that coordinated alongside his outfit ghosts against your ass. his lip quivers from his pace, and the way your pussy just sucks him dry, a few splotches of pre-cum cutely coated against the outer part of your ass. “fuck, dunno how much i can take with you movin’ your ass against me like that…shit, shit.”
“…s-satoru,” you breathed, biting down on your arm to suppress your moans a bit. not before long, he deepens the angle and you feel his sharped hips piston in utter contentment. “fuck, f-fuck. ‘s deep.”
gojo groans, swallowing the nonexistent lump in his throat before he feels himself coming close.
“think you’re gonna m-milk me dry,” he gasps, jerk after jerk his hips go against you at full throttle. the base of his dick, you hear the pap pap pap noises commence, and it’s so obscene. “shit, think ‘m in love,” and then you grow hot. it’s a long inelegant pause before he adds to his words, “…i-in love with your pussy.”
you were gonna comment on something, but you were too fucked dumb to comprehend anything. you’re being fucked stupid into the cushioned sofa. the cottony bristles of the fabric went against your skin as your body lurched forward each time.
splaying at an almost animalistic pace, gojo’s ears, the very tips of them at least grow incredibly hot, you’re making his body heat up, scorching. the way your pussy tightly hugged around him like a vice, he was obsessed.
he just couldn’t get enough. to think this was the first time he’s been this intimate with you—oh, how he could only imagine what it’d be like for a second time, or a third time, or a…
“s-satoru, your phone’s ringing..”
he grunts, glancing down to see the bright-lit screen display, and this time it’s geto. with an eye roll, he ignores it, still gripping your hips, he’s attaining his peak before he lets off a husky groan. “f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum.. can i—?”
“y-yes, jus’ do it, ‘toru,” you spoke, not even letting him finish his sentence—you knew what he was gonna ask though if he could shoot inside. you were so drunk from his dick, thoughts on your mind were straight mush.
“okay, okay,” he breathes, and even his moans were pretty. figures, gojo was a soprano, so he was bound to sound angelic, even while moaning his head off. it had the perfect pitch to it, such rasp in it, almost breathy.
you feel gojo’s pelvic bone thrust a bit more at a quickened pace, accelerating just a bit more and his nerves were just going wild. “fuck, f-fuck..” he grunts, and he starts to grow a bit whiney, his sloppy hits against your rear made out to be a tad bit voluntary, rhythm a bit more expedite, and he clenched his jaw.
once gojo came, it's so much.
thick ropes that seeped right into you. you moan, and he pauses his hips just to watch, feeling himself pouring all inside. velvety ropes of the popstar’s cum fills you up to the brim. you're panting, he's panting, and gojo was in love.
was it love? he didn't know, but his pupils were dilated for sure.
his breath hitches once he pulls out, watching his cum slowly spill out between your folds and he lets off a moan. “made me fuck such a mess into you,” he spouts, running a thumb down your slit to watch you cutely jounce against his touch.
“you ruined my panties,” you whined, turning over to face him—gojo leaned in for a kiss, and you returned the favor, tasting yourself once more on his lips. the sweetened taste of your slick that remained all over his tongue.
“baby, it's not like you need them,” he rasps, grabbing ahold of you, and he positions you to get on his lap. “besides, i was gonna ask to keep them.”
“why?” you mumble, wrapping your arms around his neck, slipping off a moan at his already sensitive tip hovering against your entrance as you realigned yourself.
timidly, he runs a hand down his neck. “y’know. for uh…good luck? was gonna keep them in my pocket or something.”
“you're so—”
“shhh.” he hums, interrupting your words for another tender kiss. your tongue slides against his, and he tastes minty.
as his breath collides against yours, you playfully bite down on his lip. gojo grunts, and he’s making your way inside again. gingerly, you sink against his thick base and he gives your ass a mean squeeze before spanking it once you start to move.
“oh f-fuck…fuck, forgot how sensitive-” he hiccups, watching with half-lidded eyes at your hips rotating against him in an orderly fashion. you moan from his pleasure, taking a second to swallow before whimpering—softly, you kiss against his neck and he grunts. “you-you make me feel so good, baby.”
gojo’s almost at a loss for words, he’s had his fair share of women, but none could make him feel like this.
besides, he's never had the time. touring day in and day out was a hassle, and intimacy was a straight no due to his overly busy schedule.
although, whilst the two of you were screwing around, making out and you're riding him, cowgirl, that’s right when the wooden creaky door bursts open.
not to anyone’s surprise, it's no one other than gojo’s best friend and bassist, suguru geto.
“you've got to be joking,” he utters with crossed arms, immediately darting his eyes away. “everyone’s been calling you, there's a search party, and—”
geto pauses, tilting his head. “…is that my clothes you're wearing, satoru?”
“suguru…hey man,” gojo gasps, nervous laughter following his tone—you jump in surprise, and he wraps an arm around your waist. “i’m… kinda busy here.”
“i don't give a fuck,” he grumbles. “by the way. your mic was on the entire time. you moan like a girl more than her.”
gojo’s eyes widen, reaching for the tiny button near the edge of his mic.
indeed, the switch was turned on and he awkwardly laughed, bringing the speaking part up to his lips.
“eheh…hey mic check?” and he could hear himself echo through the earpiece. embarrassing.
despite you still being inside, you just sat there—geto staring away, not even trying to comprehend what was happening before gojo coos out a subtle cheeky, “uh…i didn't know my mic was on. my bad.”
“you're so stupid...” you run a hand against your forehead in disbelief. an entire stadium practically heard the both of you.
the heels of geto turned before gojo brought a finger against your lips to shush, and he pouts. “sugu wait,”
“what.” he mutters, turning back around.
“wanna join…? don't think a few more minutes wouldn't hurt…r-right?”
“…….”
#★vegasbaby.#popstar!gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#female reader#anime smut#anime x reader#gojo x y/n#tw sex#gojou satoru x reader
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BABY, I'M RIGHT HERE
pairing: hwang inho/young-il/frontman x fem reader
warnings: large age gap (20 vs late 40s) angst. slow burn. slight infantilization. no use of y/n. codependency. obsession from both sides. unhealthy dynamics. plot with porn. fingering. oral fixation. brat tamer inho. sub!reader. reader is very touch starved. a little yandere vibes. emotional manipulation. i made him very fatherly but toxic oops.
summary: he promised that you will make it out alive. he will make sure of it, no matter what it takes.
word count: 8k more or less
SEQUEL TO: DUSK TILL DAWN
FINAL PART: FLY ME TO THE MOON
SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST
please ignore mistakes.
you can't remember half of it. everything happened so quickly— your little moment of bliss shattered by 388's quick warning. the lights went out. one moment you were in young-il's arms, the next he was dragging you down towards 456, who was hiding under another bed. he shifted to make room for you and you crawled to his side. young-il followed.
"stay quiet," 456 whispered, looking around. not much was visible in the dark, but soon enough, the loud noise of bottles shattering and people screaming began echoing through the hall.
"they're killing each other—" you whisper, eyes wide. you shift slightly, raising your head. you try to sit up. "they're killing our side of the people—"
young-il halted your movements with a hand on your arm, "don't move." he hissed. "we can't leave till the guards come in."
"what?" you snap, voice hushed, "if they kill all our people, what's gonna happen in the next vote? we'll lose!"
"there won't be a next vote," 456 added, flinching slightly at another sharp cry. he looked determined. "we're stopping this today."
you glanced at him, heartbroken. you looked out again, heartbeat picking up as you saw player 380 run away from nam-gyu. he was on her tail, visibly trying to kill her. a bottle lay there by the bed, and before young-il could stop you, you slid it out. nam-gyu tripped on it and fell on his face. luckily, it was too dark and he was too worked up to check who it was. you just hoped it gave player 380 enough time to hide.
young-il restrained you then, pushing you down slightly so you were fully sandwiched between him and 456, "don't compromise our position!"
"how much longer?" you whispered, ignoring him. you winced as more sounds of bones cracking and people choking on their own blood took over the entire room. neither of them answered, but even 456 jumped a little as the body of one of the girls on your side fell to the floor.
your eyes widened as the girl's eyes met yours, and then she sputtered out blood before laying there, lifeless.
"don't look." young-il voiced out, craning his neck down to meet your gaze. he clenched his jaw, settling you with a cold glare, "look at me."
"you should've told me this was the plan," you hissed through gritted teeth, squinting as the flashing of lights overwhelmed your senses, "would you be okay if that was m—mphh!"
he put a finger to your lips, shaking slightly as he gave you another warning glare. 456 watched with bated breath, as if counting all the people dying.
the lights go off again, and the room remains dark. only the noises of people fighting can be heard.
"time to move," 456 tells young-il, who nods and begins shifting out of the bed. you follow along, but he pushes you back in, "don't get out until i tell you."
"what?" you frown, confused. your words are quick, "you expect me to hide here while you go out there to do god knows what—
as you speak, young-il grits his teeth, frustrated. he's desperate as he grabs your shoulders. he glances back, makes sure no one sees before silencing you with a kiss. it leaves you breathless. he cups your face and looks into your eyes intensely, "don't get out until i tell you to." his voice is urgent, "close your eyes, put your hands to your ears. trust me, and listen to me for once."
you blink rapidly before nodding, still a little out of it. you don't think you'll ever get used to how good kissing him feels. you wish you could feel it again and again, under better circumstances.
456 hisses for young-il, and he pats your head before rushing away as soon as the doors open. the guards come in, rapidly firing their machine guns towards the ceiling, stopping the fight. you watch carefully, heart dropping to your stomach as young-il and 456 lay there, as if dead, along with 390 and 388. you almost rush out to check on them, but young-il's previous words hold you back. you watch as the guards start putting those devices to the dead bodies' ears, and when they reach your team members, 456 suddenly attacks. the rest of the team similarly manages to take their guns away, and kill the remaining guards. you almost jump out of your skin as a firing match starts— and young-il and player 120 skillfully kill most of them. you look on with bated breath, flinching as the guards fall to the floors. you begin to get out from under the bed, panting. one of the guards was still hiding, and he immediately aimed the gun at you. before you could move, young-il shoots him dead.
you look around the room, swallowing the lump in your throat at the sight of all the dead bodies. so many people with hopes and dreams. people with families, laying there, lifeless. cautiously, you looked around with purpose, before your eyes fell on player 380's body.
she couldn't hide.
you look away, sweat rolling down the side of your head. you clench your jaw and glare at the other team, eyes narrowing with resentment as you catch sight of nam-gyu. swallowing hard, you walk past the bodies, careful not to step on them. your eyes fell on your team members gathering the guards' weapons.
so this was the plan. you frown, rushing forward to help them. the guns are heavy, but you manage to place many of them along with some ammo on the bedsheet laying there.
456 announces the plan— something about capturing the ones who captured them all, and going to their headquarters to make them pay. you shift your gaze to young-il, who stares ahead blankly, as if thinking hard. you wonder if he's scared.
"anyone who knows how to use guns and wishes to join us—" 456 calls out, "please step forward!"
the players are silent, frozen. cowards, you think to yourself. you step forward immediately, and young-il's face hardens so dramatically, it almost makes you laugh. he takes a step towards you, "absolutely not!" he snaps, "stay right there."
"you need all the help you can get!" you argue back sharply. you point an accusatory finger at player 100 and his team. "don't you see? even these so called tough guys aren't willing to go with you! don't put your trust in these people, i can help more than they can! my aim's great!"
while you talk, young-il pinches the bridge of his nose, calls your name again gruffly. a warning.
"don't drag us into this!" player 100 interrupts angrily, his lip curling with disgust. "this is madness! you don't stand a chance against them!"
you quite literally snarl as you rush towards him, jabbing a finger to his chest. it makes him stumble backwards, "you had no issue with risking our lives and your own for money, but standing up to those who caught you is where you draw the line?" you glower at him, scoff at the rest of his team. to emphasize your point, you gather saliva in your mouth, spit it by his shoe. "fucking pussy !"
young-il quite literally snatches you away by the collar of your jacket before the other team can do anything. it's a little baffling how swiftly he moves, even while carrying such a big gun. he takes you to your side of the bunker, shoves you onto the bed, "don't make me tie you up." he grunts threateningly, "you are not going and that's final. you're built like a bird, you won't stand a chance against armed guards. i refuse to watch you get killed."
456 calls out for you, voice soft but urgent, "it's best if you stay here. we won't be able to focus if he's— if we're worried about you."
you grit your teeth as you scowl at young-il with glassy eyes. they're tears of anger. you want to scream at him. you want to pull him towards you and never let him go. you look at your team, watch with longing as player 120 guides them on how to use their guns. she's brave and badass, it makes you want to be like her.
"and you're okay with getting killed?" you drift your attention back to young-il, voice cracking. "what am i supposed to do if something happens to you?"
young-il sighs, gaze softening as he kneels before you . your lips wobble as you glare daggers at him, eyes narrowed. he shakes his head, "i'll come back to you alive."
you scoff bitterly. "how can you be so sure?"
"i just am."
"promise me." you hold your pinky up, clenching your jaw as you stare at him intensely, "promise me you won't die. promise me you'll come back for me."
he looks at your pinky, and then at you. you've always found him harder to read than other people. but you see reluctance in his eyes. he sighs, before raising his own pinky, joining it with yours. the contrast between your hands would've been comical if you were not in this shithole. he gives you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
"i promise."
you can hear player 100 yelling at his team, clearly talking shit about you. you look over young-il's shoulder, and he glances at the old man too before turning to you knowingly.
"don't get in any trouble while i'm gone." he whispers softly. he reaches behind his back. "and just in case— i want you to have this."
it's a pistol. he probably took it from one of the dead guards. your eyes widen and you look at young-il. he teaches you how to unload it, and reload it, and how to work the safety, before placing it in your palm. your gaze never leaves his face. questioning.
"you've made enemies here," he explains, as if it's obvious, "if any of the men there try anything—"
"you want me to kill them?" you quirk an eyebrow.
his mouth curls into a smirk, "i want you to be safe."
he gets up, and as player 100 looks at you again, you jokingly aim the gun towards him. he jumps back in fear, stumbling into the younger men at his side. you chuckle, and young-il lowers your hand. "behave."
it makes your heart jump.
"why does that kid get a gun and we don't?!" one of the younger men yells. young-il ignores him.
you grin at him almost childishly. he shakes his head before addressing 149— the old lady who got here with her son.
"don't let her leave," he tells her, giving you a stern, sidelong glance. you roll your eyes.
before he can leave, you grab his hand and look at him intensely. you can only hope your eyes can convey what you can't verbally, not in front of people. for his sake.
"be careful." you decide to say, voice cracking. you memorize every feature of his face, with only one thought in your mind.
you're not allowed to leave me.
he nods, looking away before walking to his team. you yell at them too, telling them to be careful and watch as they carefully exit. you look on with longing as you watch them go, before glancing down at the gun in your hand, and then at the door again. soon enough, you can hear the faint sounds of guns firing. it makes you jump, but player 149 puts a hand on your shoulder, comfortingly guiding you to sit beside her.
you almost contemplate rushing out, what would these people even do? stop you? you have a gun in your hand, although you wouldn't want to pull it on 149. she's a good lady. people are already scared. you don't want to make it worse.
so you stay, and hope that young-il keeps his promise. pinky promises are sacred. you either keep them, or you die.
you decide that if he dies, you'll just bring him back to life somehow and kill him again.
you don't remember how long you wait. multiple times, you stand up and pace around the room. agitated, scared. every gunshot has you looking at the door again and again, hoping that somehow young-il will decide to burst through it. 149 tells you to be calm, tries to distract you with your life outside the games. it doesn't work.
thankfully, the pistol in your hand had scared the other team enough to not try anything with you. they talk within themselves, trying to busy themselves with conversations and anxiously bouncing their legs as they look at the ceiling. you wonder how they can be so calm after killing your team.
"you people are cowards." you say to no one in particular. the message hits the target though, because the ones who weren't willing to go and help shift uncomfortably.
"you'd rather die losing to a stupid game instead of a noble death trying to help people," you chide, chuckling bitterly. 149 tries to stop you from talking, but you shrug her words off with a shake of your head. you stand up and face the other team again. "it's shameful. you had no problem killing others who were in the same position as you, but your oppressors is where you decide to stop?" you gesture towards the dead bodies. the sight of blood doesn't make you squeamish anymore. it just makes you sad.
"these people died because you wanted to keep playing." you hiss, "you killed them."
the people on the other side don't respond, instead lowering their gaze to the floor. you look at nam-gyu sitting on the side, fiddling with something. you want to kill him. you want to kill everyone who stopped you from going home, who became the reason more innocent people died. your morals are a bit fucked, you think, but you're okay with it. people who do bad things deserve to die. you raise the gun, aim it at player 100. he flinches, and sits straight up, raising his hands. his team members shuffle away from him, and it makes you snicker. when he's on death's door, they abandon him. "have you gone crazy!?"
"game or no game, you were meant to die." you clench your jaw, your mouth twitching. "shall i kill you, old man?"
you don't get to pull the trigger. you're interrupted by player 388 rushing inside, panicked and covered in blood. your eyes widen, and you go straight to him, grabbing his shoulders. he looks shaken up, "what happened? where's 001? is he okay? did you find—"
"gather all the remaining ammo," he says shakily, fumbling over his words, "we ran out. i need to take some back."
you nod, and 149's son comes to help you check the dead guards' gear and gather the remaining ammunition. 388 wraps it up in a jacket, and rushes to the door, before suddenly stopping. you pause, looking at him, sweat breaking out across your skin. there's a bad feeling in your stomach. "what's wrong? aren't you going?"
he doesn't respond. you can't see his face because his back is turned to you. a moment passes and you step forward cautiously. he drops the walkie talkie, and your eyes fall to the floor where it lands— where you can hear the voice of player 120 asking where he is. they have no ammo.
"i can't do it." 388 whispers, shaking. he rushes back to his bed, drops the little makeshift bag full of ammo and cowers into himself. your eyes widen. you look at the walkie talkie, and back to him. if they don't get ammo soon, they're going to die. you rush to the bed, shoot 388 a frown— you consider comforting him, but you have another priority now. you grab the bundle and turn to leave.
149 runs after you along with a few others, pulling you by the sleeve of your jacket. she's trembling with worry. "your father told me not to let you leave—"
amidst the chaos, you let out a chuckle.
"he's not my father," you reply, yanking your jacket from her grip and composing yourself. the sentence would've had you cackling in a better situation. you can't wait to tell young-il about it. you can understand why she'd think so, even though you and young-il look literally nothing alike. the opposite, really. he's like a father in spirit.
your face hardens and you address the crowd. "they need help. is anyone gonna come with me?”
nobody moves. you scoff bitterly. predictable.
149 looks at you helplessly, pushes her son to grab you. when he advances towards you, you pull out the gun and hold it to his head, eyes crazed as you pull the safety. you warn him dangerously, "step back."
he raises his hands and steps back, lowering his gaze. holding the bundle to your chest, you walk backwards, aiming the gun to both sides of the room and ensuring no one grabs you. you look at 149, meet her crushed gaze and mouth an 'im sorry' to her before running out as fast as you can.
you're quite sure you got lost. you're running as fast as you can, trying to follow the sounds of the gunshots, and looking for any bullet holes or signs of struggle. you look up and see broken cameras, and recall 120 shooting them back in the hall. you follow them until one of the red guards encounters you, immediately raising his gun. he's slow, infuriatingly so— but it doesn't matter because in your panicked haze, you shoot him in the stomach, then rush forward and kick his gun away before running off.
you can see your team. you let out a breath of relief, and as soon as 120 meets your gaze, she gasps. you shake your head and quickly slide over to her, giving her the rest of the ammunition. she quickly reloads, and you toss the rest to the other players, before looking around frantically, flinching at the gunshots. "where's 001 and 456?" you ask her.
"control room!" she points towards the end of the hallway, and you nod before advancing. she tries to protest but you're quicker, and she's preoccupied with firing. luckily, the guards never seem to fire at you.
there are two sides. you hesitate, before finally taking the left one where you just heard two gunshots. you quickly rush forward, pistol held protectively. the whole area looks like some sort of purple maze, and you're wary as you walk, scared that a guard might jump out and shoot you.
finally, you see your young-il's back. he's crouching on the floor, looking at a dying player. the relief you feel is baffling. your eyes widen, and you call out his name. "young-il sir!"
he tenses, turning back so fast that you worry he'd get a whiplash. visibly stressed, he rushes towards you, shaking his head, "no— no, no, no, no, no, what are you doing here!”
you run towards him, almost tripping on the stairs. he grabs your shoulders, shakes you aggressively, "i told you not to fucking leave!"
you almost flinch at his tone. it's strange to see him swear. you answer him shakily, panting, "they— they ran out of ammo, i couldn't leave you!"
he looks upset and shaken up, clenching his jaw as he pinches the bridge of his nose, mumbling incoherently to himself. you turn towards the dying player, your expression pained. he tries to point at something, but you don't understand what. you kneel towards him, and his hand falls down. his croaking stops.
suddenly, you hear the footsteps of guards heading towards you. before you can move, you're surrounded. you hold onto your gun, shaking as you quickly stand up. you swallow hard, unblinking as they aim their guns at you.
that’s when you notice it.
they're aiming at only you, and not young-il. it makes you feel strange.
you look at him, and he's taking sharp breaths, as if trying to compose himself. or trying not to scream with rage. it's odd, how relaxed he looks. tense in the face, but relaxed in the way that he didn't take an offensive stance, or feel surprised at the sight of the guards. you frown in confusion, before he flicks his hand. the guards lower their guns.
you blink a few times, swallowing the lump in your throat, dread settling in your stomach. you look at the guards, then at young-il, who refuses to meet your gaze. you repeat the action.
guards. young-il. guards. young-il. then the players on the floor. then back at young-il's face. and it takes you a moment, but the realization sets in.
the guard letting you go to the restroom when young-il was by your side, him conveniently appearing to save you when you went exploring, him walking with that air of authority. how the guards never seemed to look at him too long. how easily he killed the man during mingle without a second thought. how one look from him had the guard lowering his gun during voting. how he was sure he wouldn't die. things that you never should've looked over.
you step back, your breathing getting ragged as you slowly raise your gun towards young-il. the guards point their guns at you again, ready to shoot. he stops them by raising his hand in warning. he clenches his jaw, his eyes unreadable and guarded.
"who are you." you demand tightly. your voice shakes pathetically, it makes you wince. you've never been this scared of anything in your life. not even the games.
"it doesn't have to be this way." he says quietly. his voice seems different, deeper. gravely. he holds his hand out to you in what he hopes is a comforting fashion. "put the gun down."
you step back, putting your finger on the trigger, just the way he taught you. ‘i want you to be safe,’ he'd said.
"i asked you a fucking question!" you yell, voice cracking. your gun feels slippery in your hands. it almost falls. you fumble trying to keep a tight grip on it. all this time, the prospect of death felt a little comforting with the idea that you'd have young-il by your side if it happened. but now, it just terrifies you. it looks bleak.
you sniffle, lips wobbling as fresh tears roll down your cheeks. you were always fucking unlucky. the first time you like a man this much, he turns out to be the bad guy. you feel utterly pathetic and terrified.
his eyes dart all over your panicked face before he gestures towards one of the guards, who raises his gun. there's a flash of guilt in his eyes that you can't miss. it makes your blood freeze. you refuse to die alone.
you straighten your aim towards young-il and pull the trigger. two gunshots ring out, and you don't get the time to react before something stings your chest, and you fall to the ground.
your vision goes black.
there are no dreams, no last memories. no flashes of your life. there's this heaviness in your chest, like someone is suffocating you.
you wake up with a startled gasp, sitting up immediately. your vision looks blurry, but with a few blinks you can make out a room. a lavish room with a closed window on the side. you frown in confusion, before putting your hand to your chest. there's no bleeding, no pain except the one in your muscles.
you swallow hard, your throat feeling dry. for a moment you wonder if it was all a dream, but when you try to move, you realize your right hand is chained to the side of the bed— with those strong black straps with locks that they used in the second game. you pull at it a few times, breathing getting heavy as you look down on yourself. your bloodied green jersey has been replaced by a comfortable pair of pink pyjamas that cover your arms and legs. you raise your hand to your head, and there's a small bandage on the right side of your face that you remember previously scratching in the bathroom.
you struggle a little, try to look for a way to unlock the straps, but it's like the room is purposely empty. absolutely no sharp or heavy objects to help you escape. like a prison cell.
you think of young-il. is he dead? you remember pulling the trigger. you knew the risk that came with aiming the gun at him when you were surrounded by guards— you just had this thought that if you were going to die, you would drag him with you. he won't get to live after what he'd done.
you don't get to brood about your thoughts for long, because the door opens and he steps inside— a man dressed in black, with a creepy mask. it makes you feel uneasy. you touch your chest again, look at him with a questioning gaze.
“it was just a tranquilizer.” he answers your silent question, voice distorted through the mask.
“is this really necessary?” you ask dryly, rattling the chain on your right hand.
“do you feel comfortable?” the man asks, gesturing towards your clothes.
you grit your teeth, “cut the bullshit. who are you?”
the man sighs, looking down, as if disappointed. he looks at you again before taking off the mask, and you feel like throwing up.
his hair looks different — slicked back with gel. his eyes look tired, even more so than back at the games. he looks more intimidating this way. you feel a strong urge to leap across the bed and ruffle his hair so he can look familiar again.
you have so much to say.
why did you do this? who the fuck are you? how are you still here, when i so clearly remember shooting you?
“you're alive,” you instead remark dryly. young-il gives you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
“your aim needs more practice,” he says quietly, patting his right shoulder. “barely grazed me.”
the idea of having hurt him almost makes your chest ache, but you remind yourself of who he is.
you sniffle, lips wobbling as you look at him. your dear young-il. who comforted you, protected you, held you and kissed you so dearly. he really made a fucking fool out of you.
“and what's all that for?” you tilt your head towards his hand. trying to put on a mask, just like him. a brave face.
he places the mask on the table, walks over to sit on the side of the bed. you flinch, moving away from him slightly.
he notices, and it hurts more than getting shot. he doesn't dare reveal that on his face.
“is your name even young-il?” you ask quietly, voice strained.
he shakes his head. you snort bitterly.
“i'm guessing you're the big boss then.” you remark flatly, looking around the room. forcing yourself to appear nonchalant. he wants to tell you to drop the act, because he can still hear your voice faltering.
he nods, “something like that. i design the games.”
you bite down on your lower lip to stop it from wobbling. nobody knows the strength it takes trying not to cry. you lower your gaze to your lap.
your next question is pathetic. you would expect yourself to scream and threaten him to let you go, but there's only one thing on your mind.
“was i a game to you too?” you ask quietly. you don't want to know the answer. perhaps you would've preferred it if he killed you.
he sighs, averting his gaze. he utters your name softly, and you feel like a weak woman because you still like the way he says it.
your voice almost waivers when you ask, “are you going to hurt me?”
he looks at you, blinks a few times before answering honestly. “don't make me.”
you hold back the urge to sob. your left hand comes up to clap over your mouth, and he looks away as you cower in on yourself. how can he say that, after covering your eyes and pulling you into him to ensure you didn't get scared by people getting killed? you wish there was atleast a lamp on the side table, maybe you could've cracked his skull to free yourself from this fear. and to take revenge for playing with your heart.
“you ruined everything.” he admits, voice growing tight. solemn. he clenches his jaw, mouth twitching with barely disguised anger. “i went into the games because of gi-hun, to make sure he doesn't stop the game. and then ended up paying more attention to you than him.”
you release a shaky breath, pulling your knees to your chest. your mouth twists with emotion. gi-hun. player 456. your eyes widen, heart leaping out of your throat.
“is he okay?” you ask, voice cracking with concern, “is he alive?”
his head snaps up— gaze hardening almost dramatically. his eye twitches, and he gives you a tight smile. it doesn't suit him because it's not the one you're familiar with. “are you worried about him?”
you glare at him, eyes narrowing.
“he’ll be fine.” he adds nonchalantly. his voice sounds different— cold in a way that makes goosebumps rise on your skin. “would you rather be with him than me?”
you snort bitterly, looking away with a roll of your eyes. he can't be fucking serious. he has the audacity to be jealous after what he's done to you. he is so unbelievably ridiculous.
“put me back in the game.” you hiss through gritted teeth.
“i can't do that.” he shakes his head, “you will die in there. you won't survive the next games. i made sure they get increasingly difficult—”
“i'll win!” you argue, “i’ll beat them all and win, stop treating me like a fucking child—”
“you are a fucking child compared to me!” he bellows, making you flinch. your gaze never falters as you grit your teeth, looking at him with all the rage you can muster. he grabs your jaw, squishing your cheeks so hard that your lips pucker. he would've kissed you if he wasn't so fucking angry. his voice is harsh as he continues, shaking your head. “you! are quite literally a baby compared to me and the others in there. they're ruthless animals who won't hesitate to rip you apart to win. you're going to die in there and i wouldn't be there to save you!”
his words have your stomach churning, because he's right. but that doesn't matter to you.
“since when do you care?!” you snap challengingly. your words come out muffled.
he glares back at you, his nostrils flaring with anger, “i wish i didn't care.” he hisses, voice low. hoarse. he leans towards you. “oh how desperately i wish i didn't care about you.”
your heart begins to race as you stare at him, dumbfounded, unable to speak. he looks into your eyes, then glances down at your lips, before making eye contact again. he lets go of your face and straightens up, composing himself.
“you almost ruined my entire plan.” his voice is collected, almost guarded. “you consume my every waking thought ever since i felt your head against my chest. do you know how many times i had to warn my guards not to shoot you? especially with how many times you kept crossing the line?”
your breath hitches, and you open your mouth to argue. he doesn't give you a moment to speak.
“i'm not sending you back in the games where you can die.” he continues darkly. he brings his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear. the action is gentle— a stark contrast against what he previously did. the situation you're in, the kind of man he is. you blink at him, eyes teary. his gaze softens just slightly. “you made me promise not to abandon you. I don't plan to.”
“you're a sick man,” you whisper. you can't believe he's holding that against you— your promises from when he was deceiving you, “you designed those fucking games. you can stop them anytime you wanted. i got stuck here because of you, you killed all those innocent people. you're a sadistic, psychotic asshole—”
he shoots you a warning glare, pressing his hand against your mouth. “don’t test me, brat. ”
you sniffle, letting out a pained whimper. you push his hand off your mouth, “let me go.”
he looks unamused, “i can't do that.”
“were you not planning to leave me?” you try to reason with him, desperate. “when you left with the rest of the team? you wouldn't have come back after that—”
“i would've found a way to get you home.” he admits quietly. “i had a plan. but then you came running after me like the brat you are. you never listen.”
“then let me go now!” you protest heatedly. his words have your heart hurting. if that's true, then you're the one who sealed your fate. another impulsive decision ruined your life. “i told you about me. i told you about my mom! i miss her. she and my sister—" you almost choke on a sob as you croak the words out, the mere thought of them driving you to insanity, "they need me."
“i've settled your father's debt,” he mentions after a moment of silence, looking deeply into your eyes. he hopes it gives you some comfort, stops you from wanting to leave him. “you don't have to go back. they'll live a life of ease.”
your blood runs cold. that means he knows where they are.
“do you expect me to fucking thank you?” you can't hold back the tears rolling down your cheeks, shaking your head, “i wanna go home.” you sniffle, “you ruined our lives. you played with my feelings and my life. people are dead because of you. how can you say you'd have let me go home one moment, and then refuse it the next?”
"don't hurt them," you speak again, leaning forward almost pleadingly. perhaps you shouldn't piss him off. you're not the kind to beg for your life. but your family? now that's another thing. "please keep them out of this. dont hurt them, please."
"i won't," he says airily, his dark eyes deeply boring into yours, "not if you don't give me a reason to. just be good."
you sniffle, violently trembling. be good. you'll be good. for your family's sake.
his hands cup your face and you flinch. his thumbs brush the tears away. you avert your gaze. you can't meet his eyes— you resent him.
you resent yourself because his touch still makes you feel an odd sense of comfort.
"this is torture," you choke out, "why are you doing this to me?"
he says your name softly, guides your face up to look at him, “i’m selfish.” he admits. “the moments i spent with you.. was the happiest i've been in a… long, long time. i'm not ready to let go of that. ever. ”
he has lost everything. his wife, his baby. his brother. his humanity. only now he has control over his life, enough resources. he can change fate with a flick of his finger. he's not going to lose you, not after you've made him feel human again, for the first time in years. you've ripped open his ribcage and climbed inside, sealed it shut with your touch. he hasn't been needed by anyone like this— it gives him a sense of purpose. he doesn't trust himself to not lose his mind if you're ever out of his sight. he'll make sure you're by his side, where he can hold you and comfort you. whatever it takes.
you shake your head, lips wobbling. you try to pull away, your free hand coming up to hold onto his, to pry it off your face. he doesn't let up, instead climbing towards you and invading your personal space as he presses your foreheads together.
“i don't know about you kids, but in my time, pinky promises were a big deal,” he says lowly, the side of his mouth quirking up. he's trying to joke, he wants to see you smile again. the way you did when you looked at him— with stars in your eyes. like he's your hero. nothing else has ever made him feel more alive. “i’m afraid i can't let you go.”
you let out a shudder, squeezing your eyes shut as he pushes you till your back collides with the bed. you shake your head, voice tired. “just kill me.”
his face drops, and he looks at you coldly, “you think i'd have you here like this if i planned to kill you?”
you don't respond to that, your chest heaving. everything hurts. your head is pounding, and you feel faint.
his thumb brushes across your cheekbone. he looks at you tenderly, analyzing every feature of your face.
“you know, i really expected you to struggle harder against me.” he observes. the words make you feel embarrassed. your skin heats up with shame, and you clear your throat, looking anywhere but him.
he might be right, you think. you've struggled a little, yes, but he can tell you have the ability to be so much more insufferable. but you're not, not yet. it's fucked up. because even after everything, for some reason you can't seem to brush him off you. you can't seem to let go of the comfort and hope he provided you in one of the most terrifying moments of your life.
you convince yourself it's because your family's life is on the line. not because of your personal feelings.
you don't answer him. you don't have to either, because judging by the small smirk creeping on his face, he knows.
“i'll take care of you,” his face softens. he's trying to convince you. there's a desperate edge to his voice. you look so utterly beautiful to him— your complexion glowing even more because of the pink pyjamas he got for you. in that moment he makes a mental note of what color clothes he'd shower you in the most. “those people down there that you're so desperate to save? they would've thrown you under the bus to win. they don't care about you. i'll make sure you're safe. the life you were living before was worthless. let me look after you.”
“i hate you,” you whisper, voice cracking. another tear rolls down your cheek, and he wipes it away. you don't mean it. he presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
“i know.”
you don't get to speak again, because he tilts your head up and crashes his mouth onto yours in a bruising, punishing kiss. it makes you wince, and you choke on a soft sob. against your better judgement, you kiss him back.
the moment your mouth parts under his, he takes the chance to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding in. he moans into your mouth, holding your face as he climbs over you completely. you contemplate biting his tongue off, but you don't. as if reading your mind, his hand comes down to gently squeeze your throat— just enough to make you feel a little lightheaded. you gasp softly, eyes blinking dazedly at him. he pulls his mouth away, then places a soft peck upon your lips. then another. and another. you take greedy breaths as you squirm under him. his hand leaves your throat and slips under your top and you jolt at the feeling of his warm hands against your tummy. his mouth trails down, leaving soft kisses across the smooth skin of your neck.
“you’re sick.” you gasp shakily, throwing your head back, giving him more room to place his wet kisses upon you.
“you're the one letting a man like me touch you,” he whispers hoarsely against your neck, voice slightly teasing. “maybe you're just as sick as i am.”
his words make you shiver. you consider them, and you force yourself to think of all the people back there in the hall, ready to march to their deaths tomorrow. your eyes open and you snap out of your trance.
you use your free hand to push slightly at his chest, gaze pleading, “don't kill them,” you whisper. “let them go. atleast our team. they're good people—”
“are you really doing this?” the switch in his voice has you quivering slightly. his hand comes up, grabs your hair. it stings just slightly. a warning. "do you think they would've been this desperate to save you?"
you let out a noise of protest, looking at him helplessly. trying to touch a string of empathy within him. he has none, not anymore.
“they knew what they were getting themselves into. there's no favoritism. you either win, or die.”
your ears ring, heart pounding against your chest. “then what am i?”
he smirks, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip.
“you're my little girl.” he noses the side of your neck. goosebumps rise on your skin, “don't bring that up again.”
you grit your teeth, feeling even more remorseful. is there no way to change his mind? even being responsive to his affection doesn't help.
but you're not being docile to change his mind.
you realize you're pliant because you like being under him.
your logical side forces you to speak. your guilty conscience doesn't allow you to get too comfortable under a killer. "this feels wrong."
he stops, clenches his jaw with restrained anger. he squeezes his eyes shut, mentally counts from 1-10 to avoid doing anything he might regret later.
"let me make you an offer," he pulls back, cocking his head to the side. his eyes are unreadable, voice flat, "i'll let them go on one condition."
your eyes widen with hope, and you nod enthusiastically, eager for him to speak.
"with every player i leave alive—" a small smirk appears on his face, despite his best efforts to hide it. "i'll kill someone you love."
the way terror seized you was suffocating. your throat immediately felt dry, eyes widening with shock. you stared at him, motionless, images of your family, your friends, flashing through your head. his hand gently splayed across your stomach, pressing down a little.
"a life for a life." he announced again, giving you a tight lipped smile, "how does that sound?"
"no." you warned, clasping his wrist desperately with your free hand, breathing rapidly. "no— no. please don't. i'll— i'll stay with you. i'll do anything you say, just—" you held back a sob, "please don't hurt them."
in life threatening situations— people only look out for two types of people. themselves, and the ones dearest to them.
he smiled fully then, amused. predictable, he thinks, before leaning back down, "then conversation's over."
"you made the right choice," he whispered. you didn't bother struggling, squeezing your eyes shut. his hand pulls down your top just enough. his mouth quite literally waters as he bites down on your exposed skin, leaving cherry red bruises across your collarbones.
you have no choice, you tell yourself. it's okay to get comfortable now. you couldn't have done anything.
you mewl, and he slips two of his fingers in your mouth, watching intently with a hungry gaze as you suck on them enthusiastically— just like back in the hall. your eyes flutter, and you mumble incoherently as his fingers gently thrust in and out of your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. it’s messy and sloppy, and the sight of your saliva slipping down your chin makes him moan softly, “my pretty baby.”
you whimper as his hand slides down to your bottoms. you wait with bated breath as you look at him with hazy eyes. his hand slips down into your panties, and a desperate moan escapes your bruised lips.
“i just want to ruin you,” he chuckles breathlessly, teasing your entrance. he hovers over you, looks at you like a starving man as he pinches your clit. you yelp slightly. he taunts you, gaze full of faux innocence as he raises his eyebrows. “does it hurt, huh, sweetheart? do you want daddy to make you feel good?”
“oh fuck—” the moment that word comes out of his mouth, in his soft, breathy voice— you moan. you're pathetic. it's whiney and high pitched and so utterly desperate, it makes him proud to get a reaction like that out of you. and suddenly he understands a little more why you got so attached to him. he pecks your lips again, and smirks against your mouth. he teases your entrance with a single finger.
you whine, “please.”
“what did you say, hm?” he pretends not to hear you, pushing two fingers in. you've never been brave enough to use two even while masturbating— and his are long and thick. the stretch makes you wince. “come on, baby, tell your old man what you said.”
you try to capture his lips with yours again in hopes that he would stop teasing you. he chuckles breathlessly, then lets out a soft moan at the way your walls clench around him.
“i’m a sadistic, psychotic asshole, right?” he throws your words back at you, and you wince. you squeeze your eyes shut, bite down on your lips to hold back a needy whine. his fingers pull back and then thrust again, curling slightly. his thumb goes to your clit, rubbing it. you take a sharp breath, squirming on the bed as you moan again. he doesn't let up, “is that not what you called me? and now you want me to make you feel good?”
his voice grows serious again, face hardening. his motions stop. “apologize.”
your eyes snap open, and you look at him, surprised. “huh?”
“apologize,” he repeats, “for everything you said earlier. and i'll consider making you cum.”
that gets you to clench your jaw. you glare at him with narrowed eyes, chest heaving with frustration. but you won't do it. if anyone should be apologizing— it's him. he was the one who deceived you and ruined your life. and he hasn't apologized even once. he must think you're stupid. hell would freeze over before you apologize.
you almost reconsider your decision— but then again, his threat only stands if he leaves the players alive. he didn't say anything about language. you shake your head, your previous stubbornness taking over. “not a chance in hell.”
he snorts, looking at you, unamused. his facial expressions don't change, but you can see it in his eyes. little things like a twitch give him away. your heart drops as he pulls his hand out completely, his fingers glistening and wet. he brings them to his mouth, sucks the juices off so casually that it leaves you dumbfounded and flustered.
“i have no patience for brats.” he nods, standing up. you stutter over your words, mouth opening and closing like a fish. much like it did when you first met.
“b-but—”
“i have some work to do.” he announces coldly. you wonder if he's going to do something bad. he's having the time of his life, sexually and emotionally tormenting you. “i'll be back in a bit. i asked the guards to bring you some chocolate milk. feel free to tell them your favourite food for dinner.”
the sudden change in events has you so unbelievably baffled that you can't say a thing as he begins to leave. it's brutal, and it almost makes you want to cry.
“sir?” you call out softly, almost timidly. unsure of how to address him. you're not going to take a risk.
he stops midway, before sighing to himself. he turns to you, looks at the desperation in your eyes.
“inho is fine.” he remarks flatly, swallowing hard. he doesn't know why he decided to reveal his name to you.
perhaps because it would give him another excuse to not let go of you.
you keep looking at him, a devastated expression on your face. like you're dying inside. and maybe you are.
your only source of comfort is gone. you'd gotten too used to it in the past few days. now you wish you'd never met him.
the emotion on his face is unreadable as he walks back to you. he places a soft kiss to your forehead and turns to leave. you grab his hand. the prospect of being alone leaves you terrified. maybe if you can convince him to stay, be good for him, he wouldn't hurt your loved ones. you'll behave.
you start to miss how things used to be.
if things were different, he would have come back to you. he would smile as he walked through the door, and you would finally feel your heart pumping blood as you run to him. he'd drop his gun and hold you, and you'd cry into his chest. he'd ask you if you caused any trouble, and you would take him to your bed and tell him everything. you would tell him that 149 called him your father, and he would laugh— his old man laugh which sounds so sweet and makes his eyes crinkle. he would ruffle your hair and say something along the lines of, ‘with how many times i've saved your ass, i might as well be.’
from a younger age, all you've ever desired is comfort, something you never received. someone to hold you when you cry, to take care of you. protect you. you're sick of being the tough one. the mere idea of it was so far away for you, that the first show of affection and reassurance had you getting this terribly attached. perhaps, inho's biggest crime was taking that away from you.
“inho.” you whisper, visibly crushed. you don't even feel horny anymore. you just miss his comfort, his soft words of reassurance. his laugh. your eyes grow teary. “please don't leave me.”
he looks at you, contemplating. he sighs defeatedly, before grasping your hand properly. it's so warm, and you choke on a soft sob as the reality of your situation sinks in again. you're done for. there's no escape. you're alone, and there's no one to save you. your young-il will not come swooping in to protect you, because he was never there in the first place. you don't even realize when you break down into heartbreaking sobs, breathing ragged.
he isn't used to showing much physical affection. not after what he went through, not until you. and now with you like this, something softens within him. he sits back down on the bed, wordlessly leaning into you, his arms open. you feel utterly pathetic at how quickly you crawl into his lap, burying your face in his chest. you feel like you're betraying your team, but do you have a choice? perhaps you did. you could've chosen to be tough and refuse his affection. but the stakes are different now. your family's life is on the line.
you never stood a chance, not after you met him.
and you don't want to think of a single instance where you don't get to experience being held by him.
your morals are more fucked than you thought. even after all the threats, after him practically forcing you to stay, you can't help but desire his affection. you'll be selfish for once. what could you have done anyway? you would've died in there, and your family would be alone. if what he said is true, atleast now they can live a life of ease without any debts.
as for your team, 456 will look out for them. he's alive, afterall.
you force your mind to be silent.
“i miss you,” you wail painfully, your free hand clutching the fabric of his shirt.
he holds you like a child, a hand pressing your head close, the other wrapping around your waist. he shushes you gently, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. he doesn't regret anything he did. you'd made him promise to come back for you, afterall. he always keeps his word. “i'm right here.”
you lean into his neck, and breathe in the smell of him. you squeeze your eyes shut till your sobs die down into the occasional hiccup. the stretch of your right hand and the rattling of the chains is another reminder of where you are.
perhaps if you stay hidden against his chest, you can try to convince yourself it's still your young-il holding you like this.
A/N: so! that's the end of dusk till dawn. this story truly was my joker. i tend to add a lot of psychological elements and character interactions so the fic feels more immersive and realistic, like you're really part of the game. i hope you liked it. can y'all tell who my favourite characters are? lol. also, i'm very horrible with smut so i really tried but i just can't write too much 💔 I'm mostly an angst girl as you can tell. anyways, this was a little self indulgent. thank you so much for the support you guys showed me, it truly means everything! i might write blurbs related to this specific couple from time to time, but no promises! maybe if i get good ideas or requests. anyways i rambled a lot. thank you for reading. feedback is always motivating.
tags: @bonelessghoul @cowuies @auspicious-lilana @politicstanner @verouys @gloriousjellyfisharcade @carolinevoight @shadowmoonlight0604 @ancrygurl @sunoon @jessgentleman @colorwastaken @loversroq @clown-around-and-find-out @popcorm @xcinnamonmalfoyx @robertthehoover @iloveoldermen0204 @kpopsmutty69 @iamkali
#raven writes#frontman x reader#the frontman x reader smut#hwang inho x reader#hwang inho x you#squid game x reader#squid game x reader smut#squid game fanfic#salesman x reader#player 001 x reader#player 456#young-il x reader#lee byung hun x reader
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sharing
synopsis: in which geto shares his girlfriend with his roommates. content: nsfw (foursome, kinda). (geto x gojo x nanami x reader) wc: 1.7k a/n: tried something new. i hope you like it! (not proofread)
sitting on the couch on geto’s lap, your face hidden in his neck as his fingers move up your leg under the blanket. you grab his hand to stop his movements but he doesn’t.
his fingers lightly move over your shorts, his knuckles swiping against your clothed pussy. you bite into his neck as the urge to moan overwhelms you.
"they'll see," you whisper into his ear. he turns his face towards them. his two roommates sitting on the other side of the couch. a blanket drapped over their legs. their focus was on the tv but geto could see gojo's hand moving under the blanket and over nanami's crotch.
nanami's eyes widen, his eyebrows shooting up as he quickly glances at gojo's blank face. he turns his face back to the tv and rests his head back on the couch. geto chuckles under his breath, "i think they're too occupied to notice."
confused you pull your face out of his neck and see what geto's talking about. nanami's breathing heavily — gasping every few minutes at the hand rubbing over his hardening cock. gojo turns his face and meets your eyes — a slow smirk curving up his lips.
your legs tighten around geto's hand. “wanna join?” gojo cocks his head. nanami's head snaps towards you and his expression quickly turns into one of pleasure when gojo slips his hand under his shorts. your face warms, a blush creeping up your neck. you gulp and look back at your boyfriend. “i can take you back to our room. or we can take satoru up on his offer. whatever you want baby.” he gives you the choice.
“can we just watch them for now?” your voice only audible to your boyfriend’s ears. he smiles against your cheek and nods. “go ahead satoru. give us a show.” geto drawls with a smirk.
and god does gojo give you a show. geto’s dick hard as ever and your panties so wet they were sticking to you like latex. gojo’s on his knees in front of nanami, face buried and tongue poking out to slicken his balls and cock with his saliva.
gojo pulls back from underneath and rest his face on nanami’s plush thigh, eyeing you and geto. pumping nanami’s thick veiny cock with a teasing smile. nanami’s lips parted and slipping out a mix of shaky breaths and moans.
geto’s hand moving over your clit stops and his breath hitches when nanami cums – his one hand gripping geto’s outstretched foot and other in gojo’s hair pulling his strands.
“suguru,” you whine loud enough that all three men’s attention is on you. your eyes flutter close in pleasure and he picks up the pace once more. his finger moves over your bundle of nerves, paying special attention to your clit. you cum with shy whimpers in his neck.
“no need to be shy,” nanami speaks up, a mocking grin plastered on his face. you pull away from your boyfriend’s neck to face to them. they’re both watching you intensely – as if they wanted to devour you.
“can i taste your girlfriend suguru?” gojo asks. geto looks at you for permission. you nod your head in agreement. your heart picks up a beat in excitement as gojo moves closer to where you’re sitting on geto’s lap.
“i’m not going to bite,” gojo jokes. you lay back on geto’s chest and he grasps your hand, rubbing his thumb over it to keep you calm. you’re acutely aware of their attention on you as your glistening cunt comes into view. gojo and nanami gasp in unison.
“i want a taste too,” nanami requests. you hum in agreement as gojo peppers kisses up your thigh. licking at your bikini line. you huff out a whine as his tongue moves up and down your cunt. messy.
his lips finally closes around your clit and your jerk further into his mouth. you can feel his smile as he sucks your clit fervently. overwhelmed with pleasure you don't realize when your hand moves under geto’s boxers – until he’s squirming behind you.
gojo's on a mission as he continues moving his tongue from your hole to your clit – licking hungrily and moaning at your taste. gojo moves aside - enough so that nanami could join him. you gasp as your legs are stretched further open for them.
feeling both their tongues on your pussy has the coil in your stomach tighten. nanami’s loud as he licks and pecks your clit. groaning out a “she’s so sweet” to which gojo replies “sweetest thing i’ve tasted in a while, no wonder suguru’s pussy whipped.” both of them break out in a light chuckle, face still buried in your cunt.
geto wraps a hand around your neck. grabbing your face and pulling you in a deep kiss. his tongue moving in tandem with yours – both of you moaning into each other’s mouths. you continue jerking him off and gojo joins in on the fun by palming at geto’s balls – massaging them teasingly making geto moan an elongated “fuckkkk,” and “keep going”.
your hand starts to loosen its grip as gojo and nanami’s tongues move over you in sync but gojo’s hand wraps around yours – pumping his leaky cock with you. you can’t tell who’s tongue is pushing deep into your hole and who’s tongue is flicking your nub – you bet they're both taking turns.
geto’s lips continue to move over yours. overstimulated from all the lips on your body – you’re cumming with a loud moan and legs shaking around the two men below.
you can still feel their lips and tongue on you as they slowly pull away and get lost in their own kiss. gojo’s huffing and groaning into the kiss as nanami pulls out his hardened length – covered in so much pre cum you’d think he already came.
nanami starts pumping him and pushing him back to sit on the couch. moving down his neck leaving a red bite mark under his jaw, kissing over his clothed nipples and making him buck his hips in his grip. he pushes out his tongue and licks his tip and gojo hisses out a “fuckk ken baby, take it easy”. but he’s too lost in pleasuring gojo to hear that and takes him down his throat with ease.
you continue to pump geto and his cum covers your hand. gojo’s eyes snap towards your cum covered hand and he licks his lips in anticipation. his gaze holds yours as you move a finger into your mouth and suck oh so sensually – chest rising and eyes shutting.
it has him hitting the back of nanami’s throat and making the blond man gag. you move out of geto’s arms and close to gojo. squishing his cheeks to make his lips pucker and you let a line of cum fall onto his lips. you pull him into a kiss and he hums at the taste of geto.
you feel geto’s hand on your ass as he spreads your legs apart and licks a stripe from your one to hole to another. you jerk at the sensation and gojo grabs your shoulders to keep you steady and continues kissing you, licking geto’s cum off your tongue.
he bites your lip as he pulls back and shoots a load of his own cum down nanami’s throat. tugging his hair and pulling him into the kiss. geto pulls back and joins your kiss. four tongues mingling with one and another – sharing gojo’s salty but unusually sweet cum.
you pull away and turn to your boyfriend. he licks your lips.. top…bottom. and as soon as you poke out your tongue he’s sucking it into his mouth. your salivas meshing together. “bedroom, please” you speak into the kiss. and he’s carrying and walking upstairs towards his bedroom immediately.
you see the two men still going at it – lost in their own pleasure. palming at each other trying to get rid of any layers that are keeping them apart. both letting out loud groans, hands tangled in each other’s hair.
geto lays you down on the bed. pulling off your shirt and kissing down your body so sweetly. muttering praises into your skin “my sweet baby did so well” with an emphasis on my.
you mewl when he kisses between your legs. “shh, i’ve got you now,” he coos. he places your legs around his waist and lines himself up with you. “just want you suguru, only you..” you whisper in awe of his figure above you. his skin covered in a sheen of sweat.
he pushes into you – his head cocks back in pleasure. feeling your warmth surround his cock and he lets out a loud whimper. you claw at his chest at the feeling of his cock nudging deeper into your core. moving in and out. sounds of your pussy squeezing around him emanating loudly into the room.
he falls over you. his hand squeezing yours as he pushes it up next to your head. dipping his face down to kiss you. and he keeps his lips on yours as he picks up the pace. his hips rutting into yours. you lock your legs behind his back – pulling him in impossibly closer. skin to skin.
he moves a hand down to your clit, spelling his name over your nub. you giggle at the realization. and he smiles gazing into your eyes. you cum once more and milk him in the process. you moan in satisfaction as ropes of his cum reach deep inside you.
he falls on top of you. his body weight comforting. you move a hand into his hair, scratching lightly. “how do you feel?” he checks in with you – knowing that this was an unexplored territory for you. “did you like it? was it too much?” he adds.
“i don’t know,” you hum in thought. “I mean i feel good. it wasn’t uncomfortable. it was just new and i guess i’ve never seen them that way,” you say honestly. “would you wanna do it again?” he asks curiously.
“not sure. i like it when it’s just us. but if you want to, i think i don’t mind trying. i know you’ve done…” you leave the sentence unfinished. he chuckles lightheartedly “heh, baby. i just want you. i like it when it’s just us, too,” he smiles against your lips.
you’re about to kiss when you hear one of them – no, both of them moan each other’s names loudly. you both break out in laughter. they’re going to be getting lots of noise complaints come morning.
𓇼 ⋆。〰️⋆。˚𖦹 ⋆𓆞𓇼 ⋆。〰️⋆。˚𖦹 ⋆𓆞𓇼 ⋆。〰️⋆。˚𖦹 ⋆𓆞𓇼 ⋆。〰️⋆。˚𖦹 ⋆𓆞𓇼 ⋆。〰️⋆。˚𖦹 ⋆𓆞
a/n: comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated!
© SONARSPACE 2024 | DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS!
#✎ luna.writes#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk smut#geto x reader#geto smut#geto x gojo#geto x nanami#nanami x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x nanami#nanago#satosugu#nanami smut#gojo smut#jjk nanami#jjk geto#jjk gojo#geto suguru#geto suguru smut#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#nanami kento#nanami kento smut#jujutsu kaisen smut
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sweating- o.piastri
summary: oscar has been acting strange
pairing: oscar piastri x fem! Brown! reader
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Zak had been worried about Oscar for a while. The far-off looks in meetings, the silence at dinners, the constant stares he was getting, all of it. He’d even been so worried, that he came to you, and you’d told him that Oscar had been just fine at home, so it must be something to do with work.
It was a strange thing, to be dating your boss’s daughter. Oscar had in fact fallen for you within seconds of meeting you back in 2022, his first visit to MTC, before everything else happened. You, a legal trainee on the McLaren legal team, was the one running him through his contract, and he was very thankful that his lawyer was there to ask questions, because he was just focused on you. As he joined the team, you two got closer. About half way through his rookie season, he finally plucked up the courage to ask you out, and you had said yes. What ensued was a few months of sneaking around until you finally told your dad, who supported you two, but from afar. He liked Oscar, would he have preferred you pick someone that wasn’t his driver, yes, very much so, but he didn’t have a say in your life. You were an adult and if you wanted to go get your heart broken by an F1 driver, that was up to you. The one thing Zak hadn’t accounted for was the fact that Oscar was a sweetheart who was genuinely head over heels for you. He saw it when you were in the paddock, how Oscar smiled a little brighter, how he made you a priority all weekend, how he performed better.
So what the fuck was going on with Oscar now?
Zak was worried that he was planning on breaking up with you, or maybe he was just going through some mental roadblocks at work, so he called him into his office.
Oscar awkwardly took a seat across from him, waiting to be addressed.
“Are you alright, Osc? You seem a bit… off lately,” Zak asked, nothing but concern in his voice.
Oscar shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said, but even he knew it sounded wrong. This is really not how he wanted this to go. He was insured of Zak’s worry by the way his brows furrowed. “You can talk to me kid, you know that right? If it’s about Y/n or-”
“It’s not about Y/n,” Oscar assured him. “I’m alright, I promise.”
“Oscar, talk to me, I’m here for you. If you’re going through something-”
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask for your blessing!” he admitted, speaking far too loud and far too fast. Oscar looked up to see Zak’s face blank, his jaw slightly dropped. “I’m so sorry-”
“You have it,” he said. Now it was Oscar’s jaw that dropped. “Of course you have it,” Zak’s lips turned into a smile. “She adores you. You clearly adore her. I love you, my wife loves you, my sons love you. Of course you have my blessing.”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “Thank you,” he chuckled. “God, I was terrified.”
“You thought I’d say no?”
Oscar shrugged. “Maybe?”
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Zak was very happy when he woke up to a call from the two of you, engaged, a few weeks later.
oscarpiastri
liked by pierregasly, zbrownceo, landonorris and 348,928 others
oscarpiastri: awesome season, can't wait to marry this girl though :)
comments
landonorris: OMFG YALL ARE YOUNGER THAN ME PLZ SLOW DOWN -> oscarpiastri: no more papaya rules 🤷
pierregalsy: too young -> kikagomez: bitch -> user92: lmao he's never said that before
zbrownceo: Congrats guys! Can't wait to walk you down the aisle!
charlesleclerc: MY SON IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! -> oscarpiastri: thank you adoptive father :)
user93: god she is GLOWING
user12: these are the cutest photos ever!!!!!!!
user8: THE RINGGGGG
lilymunihe: OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!!! ->youruser: OMG LOVE YOUUUUU
user98: they're so in love it's actually sickening
logansargeant: no ring picking creds? -> oscarpiastri: I don't think grimacing at every ring I chose was very helpful -> hattiepiastri: nah, but it was funny
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#female reader#x reader insert#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#gn reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction
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I'm imagining how Logan letting you see his claws up close for the first time would go and like not to be too tmi, but I do think Logan's claw slits would be soooo sensitive.
I could imagine him not really holding hands with you or letting you get too close to his hands in general until the two of you have progressed past something superficial.
The first time he lets you even get near his hands is when the two of you are lying in his bed. Your back pressed to his chest and his chin resting atop your head.
You've got one of his hands held by both of yours, running your fingers over his blue veins and tracing the divets and scars of his skin.
"How'd you get this one?" You ask, running your thumb over the rough line of skin, tilting your head up against his chin some.
His other hand momentarily stops its path where he'd been smoothing it down the soft of your arm.
"Think I was cutting up an apple," he jokes.
The two of you burst into a fit of giggles and he presses a kiss to the side of your temple, moving to speak before he's suddenly caught off with a moan so low you almost weren't sure what it was at first.
Logan doesn't even seem as though he's noticed as his brows remain furrowed and his body relaxed beneath you.
"What was that?" You turn to him, brows arched. You know he can already read the scheming expression written over your features.
Wordlessly, he pops his neck as he moves his hand upwards towards your face, pulling your hands along with it.
Balling his hand into a fist, he turns his knuckles towards you.
Your eyes catch on three small slits between each of his digits, only about half and inch or so long.
Cautiously, you run the tip of your finger down the length of one, earning a shiver from the man beneath you.
"Does it hurt?" You say quietly, nearly a whisper. Almost as if speaking too loud would startle the riveting atmosphere of the room.
You feel him shake his head 'no' behind you before he says gently, "feels good."
You give a slow nod at that, eyes glued to his knuckles.
"Can I touch them again?" You ask after a quiet moment passes.
Logan hums from behind you, "Go ahead."
You're careful in the amount of pressure you apply as you gently stroke the tips of your finger down each slit, relishing in the soft hums earned by the man behind you.
You can feel Logan's eyes watching you – as if equally enthralled with your newfound fascination of his mutation.
He lets you enjoy the delicate nature of it. A man so brutally threatening and deemed almost wild for the majority of his life subdued by something so seemingly trivial about the very thing that labeled him dangerous in the first place.
It's sweet to him.
"D'like it?" Your voice pulls him from his haze.
He seems to mull over his response, unfurling his hand to flex all five fingers in a spread palm.
"S'okay," he offers before unsheathing his claws, letting you look them over.
The lights from his room add a sparkle to their sharp tips, and for a moment, he finds his loathed despotion for them to be almost futile.
"They're pretty." You comment, meeting his hazel eyes in the metallic reflection of them.
He scoffs, "That's just cus' you're lookin' at yourself in 'em."
You feel him reach towards his beer on the nightstand. "I mean it." You click your tongue.
It's a sensitive topic for him, you know that.
Logan takes a swig of his beer, taking another look at his claws. He turns his hand back and forth before retracting them with a 'Shing!'
"Well, in that case," he flicks your temple with a chuckle, "Thank you."
"Can I see them again?" You pull his hand back into your own.
With a sigh, Logan unsheathes his claws for you again.
He takes another swig of his beer, mumbling "Brat."
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── ୨୧ ! TOO MUCH
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
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