#the universe has rewarded me for all my suffering

[theangrypomeranian]

MY FAVORITE CLASSIC NOVEL IS NOW A MUSICAL AND IT'S GOOD 😭😭💖💖

[giantkillerjack]

Today I was reminded of the movie Baby's Day Out (AKA Home Alone but it's a baby), which I loved as a kid and haven't thought about in years.

And I had the thought, "if I watch this movie with the presupposition that this baby is a divine entity of chaos, will that make this movie more enjoyable to rewatch?

The answer to this question is obviously yes without even having to test it out, so I decided to make it a little more interesting and update my very scientific hypothesis:

If I watch this movie with the aforementioned assumption, then will that in fact make Baby's Day Out into the best version of The Omen??

I'm testing my hypothesis now. I don't think I've seen this movie in like 20 years. Man. It's hard being a scientist doing important science work sometimes.

[lostwords-found]

Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.

I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.

First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.

Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"

Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:

I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.

But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.

I think they were sending it through to other worlds.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."

Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."

But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."

And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?

One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."

I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.

Still with me?

Okay.

Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.

Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.

Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.

I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...

...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.

Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."

Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."

[mcflymemes]

STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE (1977) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

uh... everything's under control. situation normal.

this will be a day long remembered.

in my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

i have you now!

let's blow this thing and go home!

great shot, kid, that was one in a million!

look, a few minutes ago you said you didn't want to just wait here to be captured. now all you want to do is stay?

he doesn't like you.

it's a wonder you're still alive.

no reward is worth this.

i'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.

the more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

screaming about it can't help you.

i see your point.

i wonder if he really cares about anything, or anybody.

what is it? some kind of local trouble?

i have the death sentence on twelve systems.

this little one's not worth the effort.

i sense something.

should i have your ship standing by?

you don't believe in the force, do you?

i've flown from one side of the galaxy to the other. i've seen a lot of strange stuff.

there's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.

the force will be with you, always.

how did my father die?

if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's furthest from.

i don't know what all this trouble is about, but i'm sure it must be your fault.

you watch your language!

we seem to be made to suffer. it's our lot in life.

either i'm going to kill her or i'm beginning to like her.

aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

the force is strong with this one.

i fear something terrible has happened.

we had a slight weapons malfunction, but... uh. everything's perfectly all right now.

we're fine, we're all fine here now. thank you. how are you?

we're sending a squad up.

we're doomed.

it's not over yet.

i ain't in this for your revolution, and i'm not in it for you.

i expect to be well paid. i'm in it for the money.

use the force, [name].

i find your lack of faith disturbing.

this bickering is pointless.

hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.

look, your worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. i take orders from just one person: me.

give us a few minutes to lock it down!

who is this? what's your operating number?

[name], we're gonna have company!

you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. we must be cautious.

let me see your identification.

you can go about your business.

move along.

my ship has fallen under attack.

this is our most desperate hour.

you're my only hope.

i've gotta get home! it's late! i'm in for it as it is!

i'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

look, i can't get involved. i've got work to do.

it's all such a long way from here.

evacuate? in our moment of triumph? i think you overestimate their chances.

we have no weapons!

you're far too trusting.

i recognized your foul stench when i was brought on board.

marching into a detention area is not what i had in mind.

that's what i'm afraid of.

this is all your fault.

i don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you'll do as i tell you, okay?

surely he must be dead by now.

i have something here for you.

there was nothing you could have done.

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[blueskittlesart]

pleeease give a review for infinity nikki ive been thinking about downloading it but i dont know if i have the space and if its worth it to clear some up for it !!!

as someone who spent HOURS on flash-based dollmakers as a kid, i absolutely love it. the gameplay hits somewhere between dressup game and open-world RPG, in that there's a large botw-like open map to explore, but the express purpose of exploring it is to unlock new clothes for your character. The exploration itself feels very calm and cozy most of the time, with the emphasis being on small collection tasks like fishing, bug-catching, and foraging. again, all of this is specifically to craft new outfits for nikki which you can both coordinate with no limitations to wear in the open world and use in scored styling contests with npcs, some of which reward you with game currency and some of which help you progress the story quests. the only place where i feel the gameplay truly suffers is in combat. you have one attack, and it's a ranged shooter, but there's no aim-assist whatsoever, and the mobile joystick isn't NEARLY sensitive enough to justify this. aiming in combat is one of the most difficult parts of the game, and nikki can only take 5 hits before she dies and has to respawn, making combat decently frustrating. However, there are very few places where combat is strictly necessary in-game, and both of the boss battles i've done so far had hitboxes large enough that it wasn't an issue; it's really in the open world against hordes of smaller enemies that the lack of targeting becomes really frustrating. other than that, though, the controls are fairly well-designed and intuitive, especially if you've played similar games before.

The clothes themselves are the star of the show, of course. I've yet to see a single clothing item in the game that I don't want. there's a good mix of fancy intricate outfit pieces and basics to obtain early-on, and without even touching the gacha you can coordinate some really cute outfits via in-universe boutiques and quests that reward you with clothes. Even the very obviously themed ability outfit sets that you craft early on almost always have a few pieces that are easy to mix and match with, so there's a TON of styling potential even for free players! As for the gacha, it's actually one of the more generous games i've played in terms of rewards and pity systems. My one complaint so far is that the 5-star gacha outfits especially seem to be very accessory-heavy, meaning it's possible to pull shoes, multiple necklaces, gloves, socks, and hairpieces before ever pulling the dress they're very obviously designed around. there is a pity mechanic to prevent this, but it requires you to pull a few too many times before your guarantee imo.

The story is ridiculous in a good way. It kind of reads like a 2000s-era barbie movie to me right now, in the best way possible. there's an amazingly predictable sexy villain, cute little flying creatures that follow you around, and every conflict is, of course, solved via clothes in one way or another. My absolute favorite thing about the writing, though, is how blatantly earnest it all is. at no point does the game poke fun at its own wacky concept or even attempt to make some self-aware joke about it to the player--it plays everything completely straight, and in this aspect it almost feels MORE self-aware. it knows that the kind of person who wants to play a dressup rpg is also the kind of person who does not, under any circumstances whatsoever, want to be questioned or made fun of for their love of fashion or their engagement with that game. It very much feels like the devs know that they're working with primarily girls and young women and a subject matter that those girls and young women are often looked down upon or made fun of for seriously engaging with, and so it promises to engage EXTRA-seriously to make up for that. (side note: there's one point in a story quest where, when asked to make a wish, nikki wishes that all girls never get cramps again. that was when i knew this was a game that knew its audience.) If I wanted to nitpick, i might say that every quest so far has sort of felt like an increasingly ridiculous trading sequence--you learn what you need to do very early on, but you'll always spend several hours of gameplay encountering obstacles and doing other smaller tasks to circumvent those obstacles so you can reach your original goal. this might annoy me more if the game was trying to market itself as a serious RPG, but it seems very self-aware to me, and despite how i'm describing it none of the quests ive played have actually FELT tedious. I think the fact that it's such a wild concept to begin with gives the writers a bit of leeway in how they handle the story quests, and because I as the player am aware i'm playing a dressup game I don't really expect quests to immediately get to the point and let me fight something. I will say that there are certain things that aren't super intuitive especially if you aren't a seasoned gacha rpg player, particularly the features relating to advancing your skills and the styling points of your clothing. though the game does technically explain what you need to do, it doesn't explain the RELEVANCE of the feature, just that it exists, so I had to lose multiple styling contests before I realized i could upgrade my clothing to get higher scores.

The final thing I'll talk about is performance. I'm playing the game on my iphone 13, and the performance is.... not great, i'm ngl. Off the bat, if you play the game on a mobile device, you're going to be getting a HEAVILY scaled-down version of the terrain graphics. all of those screenshots you see online of beautiful terrain full of flowers and particle effects are from ps5s or custom pcs. truthfully, the mobile app looks like a game from 2012 and it will still turn your phone into an incinerator. I've also encountered multiple graphics bugs, some during pivotal scenes, and I get consistent lags when playing for longer than a few hours, likely due to the strain on my phone's hardware. it's also an INSANE battery drain, so i only play when my phone is plugged in. All that being said, the game has been out for less than a week, so visual bugs are inevitable, and the developers have stated that mobile optimization is a priority, so hopefully we'll at the very least no longer have to overheat our devices to play it soon. Also worth noting, from what I've seen the rendering of the CLOTHING doesn't suffer AT ALL on mobile devices. presumably they sacrificed terrain rendering to allow for such beautiful texturing on the clothing itself, which, given that the clothing is the main focus of the game, I can't fault them for. Basically, if you're going to try to run an unreal engine game on your iphone, be aware that it will run like an unreal engine game on an iphone. and prepare yourself to have to let your device cool down every few hours.

tldr: i love the game so far. i'm really excited to keep playing and see where the story goes, and I think they should make more games for girls <3

[avelera]

I know it's been a while since it came out but when thing I really appreciated about Deadpool & Wolverine is that it and the rest of the Deadpool franchise really understood what fans want in a way that MCU movies have otherwise failed to grasp for a rather bafflingly long period of time which is this:

Happy Endings.

That might sound silly or childish (I can hear Deadpool's snort at the rude definition of happy endings in my ear even as I write this) but seriously, when was the last time a Marvel movie or show just gave us an unequivocal happy ending without any ambiguity?

For so long, Marvel has been feeling the need to provide some sort of hook, to set up that "not all is well" in order to keep people coming back for the next film.

But the thing is, I watched Deadpool 1, and Deadpool 2, and I came back for Deadpool & Wolverine even though technically all three ended with a happy ending. All three ended with the hero getting what they wanted, and the age-old reassertion of domesticity that is considered so cliche in so many happy endings (ie, everyone went home with their heterosexual partner and lived happily ever after in their white picket fence after the adventure was over).

What I actually loved, nay, even adored about Deadpool 2 was that it took the time to (spoilers) bring Vanessa back to life. It was in the credits, sure. But Wade/Vanessa is hands down my favorite het ship in the entire extended Marvel universe because they actually feel like they're in love, not just that they're falling in love or might have the chance to be in love someday (like Steve/Peggy) but that they actually have been in a long term relationship and they don't just love but actually like each other too, and they have what it takes to go the distance or, continue to be friends if they part ways as lovers. Like. MCU is so bad at het romance you guys, it's insane, but Wade/Vanessa actually feel like a real loving couple so even if I ship him with Logan too, I love how Wade/Vanessa was handled. I still get choked up about the whole Calendar Girl sequence and I was devastated in the second movie when she died.

And that's why it's so important to me that they brought her back. They didn't just leave it on "the girlfriend got fridged and while the hero still mourns her, he has grown stronger through the trials he suffered in the aftermath, etc etc." No, they understood she's a beloved character too, and it's a fantasy movie, and part of the fantasy is, yes, in the credits using the awesome magical powers at our disposal, we took an extra 10 seconds to make sure you know, as a fan, that everyone was ok in the end. Everyone got to live happily ever after, we brought back people who died, everything got to be ok.

The MCU hasn't done that in ages! WandaVision ends with Wanda losing everything, it's beautiful and devastating but it's also gut-wrenching and unsatisfying, especially after Multiverse of Madness. Winter Soldier ends with saving the world, sure, but the hero doesn't get everything back because we need to hook into the next movie, so Bucky needs to still be on the run and not reunited with Steve. Even Endgame, the end of the whole damn arc, ends with beloved characters (at least at the point of writing this) being dead and staying dead even though we have literal universe altering time magic at our disposal to, theoretically, bring them back and let everyone end on a happy note where they got everything they wanted.

Look, I get it, an all-around happy ending where everything is nicely tied up and everyone is alive and got their loved ones back can feel a bit childish. But throughout the MCU it has felt just so relentlessly withholding that no one gets this unequivocal, unambiguous happy ending in ages. It's like in their rush to hook you to the next movie, they completely forgot that part of the reward for the audience in watching these heroes go on these adventures is the hero getting what they want in the end, and not just getting strung along to the next adventure.

Deadpool understands that. Heck, it understands that you can give the all-around happy ending and still have problems that emerge down the line. Deadpool 2 ends happily but Wade still has problems that emerge in Deadpool & Wolverine, part of them are the outcomes of getting what he wanted that had unexpected consequences but don't diminish getting what he wanted after Deadpool 2. He wanted the white picket fence happy ending, sure, but as a result his life got dissatisfying and his relationship fell apart in a completely normal, human way. That doesn't actually diminish Deadpool 2 and saving Vanessa, btw, because bringing her back to life means life will go on and sometimes life just happens that way. Bringing her back means she has the chance to go on living and sometimes that means making decisions that aren't all about Wade. That's a good thing.

And likewise, Deadpool & Wolverine might get another sequel. I'm actually fine if it does! I'm fine if another villain just pops out of nowhere to interrupt their peace and quiet.

But here's the thing it will be interrupting their hard-won happy ending. They got the happy ending. We got to see Deadpool save his world of 9 people and add Worst Universe Logan to it. We got to see Logan from the Worst Universe find a loving family, even if he didn't get the original one back. We got to see everyone in peace and at rest having got what they wanted and what they needed. We got to see characters we love be happy.

Deadpool as a franchise understands that. It understands that we love these characters and, at some point, we want to see them happy after their trials and tribulations are over. I wish the MCU would remember that more often in its other stories, that not everything needs to end on a hook. Sometimes it can end with happily ever after and that still doesn't mean the story is over forever. Maybe it's just for now, but whether or not the story continues, Deadpool understood we on some level want to see our beloved characters left behind in a good place.

[echantedtoon]

Valtor x Reader Oneshot

A nightly visitor visits his lover once more.

The darkness of night was always dangerous to those whom did not heed the warnings of the monsters whom lurked within the abyss and shadows.

The woman knew that more than anyone else very well. Often finding herself confined within it's hold. Innocence ensnared like a bird within it's cage. Singing it's innocent melodies despite being condemned to be surrounded by cold iron bars. Forever ongoing. Swirling, swirling around 

The sun sank beneath the horizon to make way for his sister the moon to take her rightful place upon her throne of darkness surrounded by her army men of stars and comets. 'Cone out!' She cried out to her dark children that hid from the light. 'My brother and his infernal light is gone. Once more come out to greet your mother and wreck discord upon thine earth. Have your fun dancing in my gentle glow and bask in the darkness that I reign upon as I watch over you.' The monsters woul answer their mother's cries. Dancing. Reigning havoc over the darkness. Bringing entropy to every household they manage to invade. 

A fire warmed up the skin as your lazy eyes watched the dancing flames in the pit. The flickering lights casted dancing shadows the lonely still walls. They frolicked in tune with their own rythme in their own universe. However the warmth of the fire kept your body warm and toasted from the cold outside. No doubt crawling with monsters and demons of the abyss walking forth towards you with every step they took. In tune with every breath you took. But you didn't mind. Infact within the darkness the maiden embraced their outstretched embrace. 

Step. Step. Step.

Closer and closer.

Breaths of sins clawed their way from a maw that swallowed more innocent lives than the mind cared to remember. Smiling at a wicked whom remembered or a sinful taste that it could still taste on the malicious tongue. Running the muscle along fangs sharp and destined to rip magic from mere soul. However the sins of that life would be forgotten in exchange for the comfort of innocence that the night allowed him to have once every moon. Footsteps soft yet loud enough to echo through the darkness and approaching fast the house with remaining light. Light that offered warmth and comfort but not protection.

F/c eyes opened slightly and turned. A door normally provided comfort and protection was no match for the class that ensnared it and pushed it open allowing the night and shadows to spill inside. The sinful, wicked smile was delighted to see the one of innocent happiness smiling back to her.

"Well now. Hello, Beautiful.~ Do you mind if I come in and warm myself by your fire?"

A giggle all too sincere made the monster's undead heart beat against his own ribcage in anticipation of her answer.

"Come right in, Sir. Heaven knows how cold the night must be for you."

The monster did not hesitate given the permission. Coming inside to receive his reward for the sinful deeds he had done in the form of an embrace of the warmth she gave. The embodiment of darkness was enticing to say the least. Especially with herself entangled within his grip. It felt...

c o l d.

So cold, so frightening. Yet so familiar. The blood ran cold yet so warm upon the strong arms around her. Eyes deeply staring through the soul wriggling, squirming in its hold. Gleaming  teeth beside the eyes in a smile that was promising sin yet a love no one else gave. There for her, the one caught up into the grip of the night. the only thing they could do for them was finish them off — even if it was they who would have to suffer then.

"It's been far too long. You have no idea what you do to me. Making me feel things a sinner like me has no right being happy to have."

Neither spoke for a long moment just staring into each other's eyes before a cold hand reached out to run his knuckles along her chin causing her to shiver before leaning into that hand that switched to caressing the soft warm flesh. A strong arm pulled her forward until they were chest to chest. His sinful freeze and her innocent warm glow. A sturdy arm held her close, the other cracked the back of her head gently as worlds apart connected in the ultimate declaration of affection between two partners.

Lines were blurring. Obsession with love. Madness within clarity. Starvation of touch with longing of burning loneliness. Passion and poison. Breaths were warm despite his cold body. Eyes soft despite their own desire filled look. Grip firm but restrained so much it hurts him how cautious he was being to not harm. Her soft skin burnt him! It burnt, it burnt-

It lit up his soul with unresolved longing he was never able to fulfill like this with anything else in his life.

He pulled her closer deepening the connection for a blissful moment before slowly pulling away just a smidge. Their lips still touching as warm breath gently caressed his face as his dark eyes looked back in narrowing into possessive slits. Words whispered against lips as he spoke.

"You really shouldn't really be letting me come back over and over. It's addicting... Intoxicating to me to not have you right where I need you. My mind clears when you are the only thing it can think about."

A shiver ran over her body so close and it sent a smile against her lips from him. It pleased him so.

"Maybe I like it when you only think about me though. Would you really leave me even if I were to dismiss you?"

Whispered murmurs against lips. Close as lovers could ever be. Arms around each other's bodies like a whirlwind would pull them away. Eyes closing with one last murmur against her lips.

"No. But I don't mind if you took my body and soul because you already have my sanity. Now love me. Love me like I'm going to die."

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Ficlet!!!

Prompt B, 🐉, 🫂, 🗝️

And congratulations!!!!🥂

Ficlet!!! It's always such a delight visiting these two, so thank you for the prompt.

Learning to fall

Words: 985

Rated: E

Tags: Fantasy AU; dragon Eddie; King Steve; established relationship; soul bond; nightmares; hurt/comfort; explicit sexual content; nudity, biting; monsterfucking

Notes: set in the same universe as Hic sunt dracones

Sometimes, at night, Steve's head takes him back to the dark moments.

Sometimes he's back in the dungeons, and nobody comes to save him. Eddie cannot find him, not with their torn soul bond. Robin is imprisoned somewhere else, and when the guards drag him away to the executioner’s block, he knows that they’re going to kill her before him, just to make him suffer more.

Sometimes, he’s back in the courtyard, the storm raging all around him, fire and debris raining from the skies, and the huge crossbow looms before him. He tries to reach it, but he can’t gain an inch. He screams until his voice cracks, but Eddie can’t hear him, and he has to watch again as the giant bolt pierces his dragon right through the heart and takes him out of the sky.

This time, he’s back in the tower, rushing up the spiral of a never-ending stairway while thunder roars outside and the fight rages on below him. He’s barefoot and keeps slipping on his own blood, and the wound in his side tears further with every step, but he forces himself to go faster still.

He doesn’t make it in time. He never does.

He scales the last steps and stumbles into the ruins of his old chambers just in time to see Carver swing his blade.

His dragon looks up. Their gazes lock.

The blow connects and the light in those beautiful golden eyes goes out.

And Steve screams.

The sound of it startles him into consciousness. For a moment, he flails in that weird, hazy state between waking and sleeping, and it feels like falling, feels like plummeting from the tower all over again.

“It’s alright, my love, it’s not real.”

Arms and wings and a tail wrap around him, pulling him tightly against a warm body. Hands card through his hair. His mate’s mind nudges against his own, as comforting and familiar as his touch.

“It’s not real, you’re dreaming.”

Steve sobs, and it’s equal parts terror and relief. Eddie just holds him, kisses the tears off his lashes, and waits until his shoulders stop shaking.

“I was too late,” Steve murmurs against the crook of his neck, once he trusts his voice not to hitch. “He killed you.”

“You weren't,” Eddie says, nuzzling the top of his head. “And he didn't. I’m right here. Safe and yours, alright?”

Steve laughs around the last few hiccups. They’re both here in their nest, the first rays of early morning sunlight creeping in through the windows, with their kingdom slowly waking up underneath them.

“Yeah,” he says, shaky hands reaching out to run along the curve of his dragon’s horns. “Yeah, alright.”

Eddie rumbles in pleasure, eyes gleaming gold in the light of the new day.

“Say it,” he mutters, nipping at the bite mark on Steve’s shoulder with sharp fangs. Steve’s laughter catches in his throat, but this time, it’s for entirely different reasons. “Say it, beloved, please.”

“You’re safe,” he replies teasingly, knowing full well it’s not what Eddie meant. Sure enough, he’s rewarded with an impatient growl and another bite. “Ow, alright already, you clingy dragon. You’re also mine.”

“And you are mine,” Eddie murmurs, pulling him in, and then neither of them says much for a while.

*

The sun is well on its way over the castle walls by the time Steve disentangles himself from his mate’s arms and the warmth of their nest. Eddie, who was dozing with his face buried in the sheets, looks up as he slips a shirt over his head, and groans in annoyance.

“Why the fuck are you dressed?”

Steve, who is squinting at the mirror and running a brush through his hair, rolls his eyes at his own reflection. “Because I have a court waiting for me, and unlike you, they prefer it when I’m not butt ass naked. Now stop whining, I should’ve been downstairs-”

The sound of a lock clicking shut makes him pause. When he turns, Eddie is propped against the door, lazily twirling the key around one finger.

“Eddie, come on,” Steve sighs. “What are you doing?”

He walks over and grabs for the key. Eddie tucks it behind his back. Steve tries to reach around him. Eddie dances out of his way, but his tail curls around Steve's waist, pulling him along. Before he knows it, they're back in the nest, half wrestling for the key, half chasing each other's lips and tongues, and Eddie is slipping the offending shirt off his shoulders again.

“Obvious, isn't it?” he answers Steve's question, albeit a bit belatedly. “I'm making sure you stay. I want to keep you all to myself.”

He kisses his way down Steve’s collarbone and chest, and the soul bond shivers with their mingled desire. Steve grumbles reluctantly, even as he melts into the touch.

“Eddie, I can't. There's things I need to do, I-”

But then Eddie pushes his head between his legs, fangs grazing the inside of his thigh, and he forgets what it is he needs to do.

“Let me take care of you, my king,” his dragon rumbles, effortlessly picking up on his train of thought. “That's the only thing you need to do right now. Everything else can wait for a few hours.”

Sometimes, Steve's head takes him back to the dark moments.

Sometimes, he forgets he doesn’t have to be tough all the time, that he can rest and show weakness and let himself fall. Sometimes he thinks it will always be like this.

That is alright, though. Eddie loves all of him. The dark parts and the weak ones, on the days where he feels like he can touch the sky, and on the days where it feels like he's plummeting back into the abyss.

Letting himself fall doesn't seem so scary, these days. He knows he'll always have someone to catch him.

More celebration ficlets

[searchingforserendipity25]

currently suffering from too-many-ideas disease (let's hope it's curable, the number of growing wips on my DS9 folder does not offer a promising prognosis).

but one of the concepts that's been haunting me is the possibility of kira and bashir spending a far longer time in the mirrorverse. i mean a long time, an year or three even.

an au where gul garak's plan to install kira in place of the intendant, as well as his rather transparent ploy to keep julian (move him to a safe place, lmao) as a bargaining chip to get kira's cooperation on whatever he's plotting.

mostly this would be tied up in their return, without flashbacks, and focused on the possibility of an augment resistance, poking julian bashir into a corner until the claws come off, kira's undercover journey in this new bajor and and julian's new codependent closeness, but --

there is no version of garak who does not desire any useful information he can grab a hold of. his weakness for sentiment and pleasure in dealing harm may vary in a spectrum across the universes, but he is always very curious.

this goes - rather less well than he'd hoped for. his bargaining chip is fierce and arrogant, brash beyond sense and dangerously clever, and more than the usual dim terran cunning.

without any sense of his station at all, quick to speak out of turn, and always, always asking the most impertinent questions, about garak and the alliance and garak and the terran subjugation and garak.

and he is fearless. enough to smile at times in that detestable way, as if he knew his weaknesses and the lines of his thinking already, guessed at his gestures.

as if he found him - the gul, the military man, the oppressor - rather an amusing but generally disappointing repetition of a better original performance.

there is only so much information about the other world he can manage to get out of him with blackmail, threats of violence and coercion. he can only do so much, when kira insists on visiting his hostage often enough to ascertain his well-being.

luckily, terrans are terribly fragile, even if this one is particularly resistant to most persuasion techniques. they all, for one thing, need to eat quite regularly. starvation is a crude tool, but everything ccan be a reward and a punishment is one has the sense for it.

what kind of host would gul garak be, if he did not make certain he ate enough, and well, and in good company?

lunch, conversation, garak's eyes glittering at him over the same steel tables. really, in many ways it is as if julian hasn't left home at all.

[maxdibert]

Look who's back, I hope this isn't bothering you, but my friend really thinks that suffering violence doesn't justify being a violent person and I really need to talk to someone about Severus.

Not long ago I asked my mother with exactly these words “if a person grew up amid violence and only suffered violence, is it abnormal for them to be violent?”.

And she said: Not always, it depends from person to person. Some will be different from the experiences and environment they lived in, while others will not. But the chances of a child who has suffered violence also being violent is 98%.

And it made me think about how people see Severus as an exception and not a statistic. And, for some reason, they make it a competition of traumas and belittle his suffering because he is not a perfect victim who swallows his spite, forgives those who hurt him and pretends that everything is fine when it is not.

Experiencing violence doesn’t justify being violent, but it can explain it. There’s a substantial difference between justification and understanding. The reason why someone is the way they are doesn’t mean that behavior is acceptable, but it helps to understand their character. This is essential if you’re working with that person professionally, for example.

That said, this has many nuances because experiencing violence is just one of many factors that can lead to antisocial behavior. If violence occurs in isolation and the victim has resources and support, the likelihood of them developing violent behaviors is significantly lower. For example, take an average bullying victim. They may have suffered a lot at school, but that’s just one part of their life. What if they had a group of friends outside school? What if they had a stable relationship with their parents? And if none of that happened, what if they found a safe space with people who respected and valued them when they went to university? The environment is crucial both for healing trauma and for the development (or prevention) of problematic behaviors. The problem for victims of violence, in terms of their cognitive development, isn’t so much the violence itself but the resources and tools they have to heal afterward. And healing requires many factors.

Severus represents the case of a victim of violence who suffered it not just in one environment but in all of them. As a child, he experienced abuse at home, and as a teenager, he was bullied at school. He comes from an environment where he has no tools to cope with that violence because he grew up extremely poor, and his parents were participants in the abuse. The abuse continues at school, where bullies make his life hell, and once again, the adults around him not only fail to intervene but either force him to keep quiet or even reward his abusers (James being made Head Boy, for instance). He grows up in an environment where violence is normalized, and the adults in his life constantly justify or validate it. The only people who accept him are the Death Eaters, who are themselves a highly violent group. Everything around him during the most crucial stages of his cognitive development fosters not just a normalization of violence but a justification of it.

When he leaves the Death Eaters, instead of finding an understanding environment where he can start fresh, discover himself, build friendships, and maybe construct a new life, he is trapped in the same school that was a nightmare for him, with no tools or ecosystem that might allow him to heal or attempt to overcome his trauma. Dumbledore doesn’t help; he treats Severus like a soldier, trapping him in that violent cycle with his role as a double agent and feeding his guilt precisely to make him more effective for his plans. Severus isn’t a colleague; he’s a tool.

In my opinion, if he had been able to escape all of that, focus on his own life, and build something for himself, yet still remained violent, then his behavior would be absolutely inexcusable. He would have had opportunities. He would have had the chance to choose to change but refused to do so. However, a person with Severus’s past, environment, and position had no opportunity to change because he lacked the space or means to do so. No one offered him a hand. He was alone, he had nothing, and when someone finally gave him something, it was only to imprison him in the cage of his demons and use him for their own ends. He couldn’t escape from that.

It doesn’t make sense to blame someone for being resentful when their entire life has revolved around an endless cycle of suffering. People like that never end well.

[dxmedstudent]

Forgive me if this is rough and messy, im down with a viral illness and this is something I've been thinking about after reading some stories on reddit but...

Can we just... not frame illness or disability (or infertility, which for many is a kind of disability) as some kind of karmic punishment?

Like, if you don't like someone because they were nasty or even evil to you, that's fine. We can agree they were a Grade A Butthole with added haemorrhoids.

If something bad happened to that person, you're not evil for not being sad about it, or even feeling schadenfreude. Feelings are complicated, and wanting someone who hurt you to feel hurt is something many of us can understand. That's not what I mean here and I'm not going to dissect that further. This is also not to defend the person for being a butthole - they deserve to be criticised for poor behaviour.

But I always feel deeply uncomfortable when people in comments roll out the "Yeah! your nasty cheating ex is now infertile / in a wheelchair/ a depressed alcoholic, that's karma! The universe has a way!"

...Because you're inadvertently framing physical or mental disability or infertility as a whole...as a punishment. And by extension implying that people who experience these things did something to deserve it.

I know it can feel good in that moment to imagine that this is some evil person's reckoning and that everyone gets their comeuppance. But it's such a dangerous way to look at things.

We need to get away from this frankly outdated and damaging belief that a healthy body is a reward for spiritual purity and that illness is a punishment for sin. That a body which doesn't work quite the same as most people's... must be due to moral failings. These beliefs have very real and damaging effects in terms if how we as a society treat the vulnerable - the mentally ill, the homeless, those with addiction issues, those with sexually acquired illness, for example.

It's disturbing how often even people who declare themselves to be ostensibly atheist will turn around and basically say something surprisingly religious, in the worst way. And not realise that they've not yet examined where these beliefs are coming from.

Hate the evil cheating ex, by all means. Be glad that they are unhappy, if you want. I won't tell you how to feel. You don't need to wish someone who was a horrible person well. You don't have to like them, forgive them or dismiss what they did (we should hold them accountable). We can absolutely unite and agree that someone is/was a nasty person.

But don't ridicule them FOR being unwell. Don't link illness with a perceived moral failing. No matter how evil you think they are.

Because most people who are suffering the exact same thing are not evil and didn't do anything to deserve it. And by framing it as such, how do you think it affects the many other disabled people reading your comment? Do you think they deserve everything that happened to them? What exactly do you think someone has to do to deserve good health? How perfect do they have to be?

Most of us are going to experience disability some degree, in our lives. We need to stop treating it as a rare or freakish event and see it as part of the spectrum of human experience. Struggles with adddiction are very common and are a cry for help and not a moral failing. 1 in 10 couples experience infertility. It's so fucking disrespectful to the many people with disabilities. To my patients. To my friends.

And to me.

As someone with infertility issues, it's pretty bloody triggering to read a whole bunch of strangers gleefully declare that "infertility is just nature's happy way of making sure awful people don't reproduce". That maybe people who have recurrent miscarriages "should just give up" because "nature's trying to tell them something".

Like...how very *eugenics* of you.

As if...plenty of awful people don't have children and aren't awful parents? All the bloody time. Are you advocating for all children to be appropriately supported and looked after, do you support children in care? Trans and intersex children? Children with complicated physical or mental needs? Or is this just a way for you to pat yourself on the back that your presumed or proven fertility is a sign of your own moral superiority?

Do those commenters eschew all medical care when they are ill? Obviously not. Nor should they - because misguided and petty though they are, they are also entitled to seek care if they need medical help. But they seem to think that when anyone they disapprove of experiences health problems they should, what? Just give up and suffer in silence?

Modern medicine exist to treat a myriad of illness and help people manage a plethora of disabilities. It exists FOR people. You don't have to earn adequate healthcare, it should belong to everyone. People are imperfect. Messy. They make mistakes. They don't always the the best care of themselves. That doesn't mean that they don't deserve healthcare or dignity. Or that they deserve judgement and scorn.

Illness. Doesn't. Discriminate.

By which I mean, it doesn't CARE if you're a nice person or a horrible one. I know that society likes to tell us that if we work out, eat healthily and are positive, that nothing bad will ever happen and we can "organic food" our way out of being ill. But that's just patently not true. And I say that as a doctor.

In medicine we have a saying, that the worst things happen to some of the best people. Because we see people who are lovely go through things nobody should experience.

All the time. It's heartbreaking, because we don't like seeing bad things happen to perfectly decent people. It makes all of us feel uncomfortable and vulnerable and sad. But it happens all the time.

We need to be very careful about how we think of, and frame, illness in all it's forms.

[11x13kyle]

dog sees god: confessions of a teenage eternal fourth grader

kenny: you wanna hit this?

stan: no. thanks.

kenny: it’s kind bud. you sure, man?

stan: nah, i’m good.

kenny: i’ve been meaning to tell you — i’m sorry about your dog.

stan: thanks, man.

kenny: he was a good dog.

stan: yeah. he was.

kenny: but he was old. it was long past his time. still — he was a good dog. i totally wanted to come to your funeral party thingy, but i was waiting on a delivery from the doober.

stan: what do you think happens when we die?

kenny: do you mean, like, do i believe in heaven?

stan: yeah.

kenny: nah, man. i’m a buddhist.

stan: since when?

kenny: it’s kind of a new development.

stan: well, what do buddhists believe happens when you die?

kenny: buddha believed that one of two things happens. either you are reborn or you dissolve into nothingness. oddly enough, the former is punishment and the latter, reward. we buddhists believe that the corporeal body is the source of all suffering and a liberation from the body into nothingness, or nirvana, is the fuckin' way to go.

stan: don't you find that depressing?

kenny: liberation?

stan: nothingness.

kenny: i think i'd kind of like to be nothingness. because even nothing is something, right? what am i holding in my hand?

stan: nothing.

kenny: one would say that, yes. but in that nothingness is a thousand things, right? particles and atoms and tens of thousands of things that we might not even know about yet. i could be holding in my hand the secrets of the universe and the answers to everything.

stan: you're stoned.

kenny: damn straight! why this interest in the afterlife? is this about your dog?

stan: just curious.

kenny: dude, we all have to let go of things from our childhood. do you remember when you and kyle burned my parka to teach me that?

stan: yeah. it was only two months ago. if i’d known that it would lead to him being — well — i wouldn't have let him do it.

kenny: i was so pissed at you guys.

stan: the thing was fuckin' nasty, man.

kenny: still. y’all suck.

stan: i think you were about to make a point.

kenny: i was?

stan: nevermind. i think i got it.

kenny: my point is, stan, that life — it does go on. even without the things that have been there since the beginning. the things that we think define us, don't mean shit in the grand scheme of things. us defines us. not things or other people or pets. like, me without my parka — i'm still me. i miss my fuckin' parka, though. that was a dick thing y'all did.

stan: three words for you, bro — pubic. lice. infestation.

kenny: could've been fixed.

stan: hey, we let you keep the ashes.

kenny: i smoked ‘em.

stan: you what?

kenny: i rolled 'em with some good herb and smoked that shit up.

stan: that's sick.

kenny: now, my parka and i are like one forever.

stan: that's seriously disturbed, dude.

kenny: we all handle grief in different ways.

stan: can't be good for you.

kenny: dude! showed you two! tryin' to mess with my shit. HA!

stan: hey, how is kyle doing?

kenny: he's good. the doctors say that he’s getting better. damn, i miss that bitch.

stan: so do i.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Will we never see the day the Harkles get what they deserve rumour tracking anon? I'm losing faith and I'm really tired. They are saved from all those scandals that demand their answer just with this one incident. I cannot anymore

I know, anon. It's really frustrating to see them keep getting away with it, almost as if they're constantly rewarded for bad behavior.

Some things that have helped me (bolding for emphasis to break up the giant chunks of text):

Taking breaks. Just walk away from it. A day, a weekend, a week. There isn't a whole lot happening in the BRF to counteract the Sussex shenanigans so Harry and Meghan are dominating the news There are no tiara or glam events. No tours/foreign visits. No projects being announced. 3 out of 7 senior royals are on medical leave and the ones who are working don't generate the same kind of headlines, attention, or coverage. Take a break from all this - maybe do a deep dive into another royal family or read historical books about the BRF (especially ones that pre-date the modern House of Windsor) or non-text books (like Angela Kelly's books or Chris Jackson's photobooks).

Spend time pursuing a creative hobby. I find that doing something creative helps keep my mind from wandering to the Sussexes and the nothingness coming from the BRF too often. Some of my creative pursuits: baking and cooking new recipes, DIY and craft projects (I love going to Goodwill, thrift stores, and architectural salvage places for home decor and furniture. Also, I'm not saying you need to pledge allegiance to Catherine, The Princess of Wales in every aspect of your life, but I'm also not not saying that Kate's Ring is an excellent accent color for an end table), learning how to make craft cocktails (it was a pandemic thing), and organizing decades and decades of family photos.

What I also find a cathartic is fanfiction writing. I've had dreams of being a writer since I was Princess Charlotte's age but listen. I cannot stick to a plot for the life of me, because I always want to know "what happens next." But let me tell you. It is hugely cathartic to write a fanfiction novel where a Meghan-like evil witch gets everything she deserves and a Harry-like tortured prince is redeemed by the pure love of an ordinary American girl (okay, that one was pre-Oprah before we all learned how truly messed up Harry is) or where a revenge fantasy where a Harry-like spoiled brat loses everything when he treats his saintly Kate-like girlfriend abominably and when he tries to win her back, she's fallen in love with a Henry Cavill-like swashbuckling Real Man or where the Harry-and-Meghan-like entitled spoilt prince and his wife try to overthrow the saintly and universally loved heir but the Queen swiftly, immediately, justly, and properly handles them with eviction, termination, and worldwide embarrassment. You can do everything to your characters and you can make them suffer in a way the real Harry and Meghan may never.

Find trashier, more trainwreckier drama to get stuck in. Bravo, anyone? A new season of Vanderpump Rules has just started, Summer House is about to start, and two of the villains from OG Vanderpump Rules (Jax and Kristen) have a spinoff series that's about to launch.

Changing your perspective. There's a famous leadership quote about problem-solving: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. In other words, you have to take big things (big problems) one at a time, piece by tiny piece. So yes, the big "elephant" is that the Sussexes look like they have everything - they still have titles, they still have massive million-dollar deals, they've got the Olive Garden, the BRF isn't stopping their PR. But also look at everything they don't have anymore:

They can't use their HRHs.

Their RPOs were taken away.

Their royal charities and patronages were taken away.

Charles isn't paying them as much money, if he's even paying for them.

Everyone is blaming them for hastening Philip's and The Queen's deaths.

They were evicted from Frogmore Cottage.

It took six months for the palace website to add Prince/Princess titles to Archie and Lili but it was instanteous to change George, Charlotte, and Louis to "of Wales."

Charles calls them "Harry and Meghan" or "my other son and his wife."

The family doesn't want to be seen with or around them. Even Eugenie seems to have abandoned ship these days.

William isn't taking Harry's calls.

Lili doesn't have a webpage on the royal website.

Harry's military titles and honors have been revoked. All he has left is the merit-based rank he "earned" as an enlisted soldier. (Which is being generous.)

Their Spotify deal was cancelled early. (Scobie admits this in Endgame.)

No more social media birthday greetings/shout-outs from official royal accounts.

Nothing has come out of Netflix except a whinefest docuseries that no one has taken seriously. Everything they've pitched gets shot down and Meghan isn't getting the talent she wants for her movie.

The only awards they're getting are the ones that they pay for - no Grammys for Spare's audiobook, no Emmys or Golden Globes for their documentaries or the Oprah interview, no Pulitzers or Literary Awards for their books. No Nobel Peace Prize for their recordbreaking humanitarian aid work.

They got the knockoff Kennedys (William got the real ones).

Meghan isn't "in" with A-List Hollywood. The celebrities she's been namedropping haven't had commercial box office hits in at least a decade. She isn't hosting or presenting at award shows.

Meghan isn't getting the lucrative influencer sponsorships and merching she wants, which is why she papwalks in parking lots.

Their foundation is a joke and their philanthropy/giving is increasingly under scrutiny for things that don't make sense.

Their "good deeds" are actually ulterior motives designed for maximum PR and celebrity bandwagons, rather than actually helping underserved communities.

There is actual, open, frequent speculation that their children aren't even real and that has to hurt as a parent.

The British press doesn't take them seriously.

They're a comedy punchline, and not just for satire. The Golden Globes made fun of them. The whole world laughed at them after the "car chase."

Harry's lawsuits aren't going well. He's now trying to relitigate a court finding so he doesn't have to pay his fines.

Elton John isn't flying them anywhere anymore. Oprah and Gayle have cut ties. Ellen DeGeneres seems disinterested. Tyler Perry noped out.

Harry's balding is atrocious. (I mean, really. In the overhead camera angles of The Queen's funeral, his bald spot jumps out at you from a mile away. Not even William's bald head stands out that much.)

They/Archewell bleed staff faster than a flesh wound.

Andrew -- ANDREW! -- still has a royal residence, still has RPOs, still gets papped with members of the royal family, still gets friendly press coverage (on occasion), still gets to wear/use some of his honors (like the RVO at coronation).

Eugenie got to have her own personal social media while Harry and Meghan got a "business" account.

The Sussex wedding was overshadowed by so much drama that still persists to this day (thanks for the Markle v Markle lawsuit, Sam!).

Spare made everyone realize Harry is as bad as Meghan and it's not all on her.

Harry's "Hero Harry"/Queen's Soldier PR persona has been completely and thoroughly shattered. Everyone knows it was just a publicity facade now.

Harry isn't even getting the "William's brother" edit anymore - that's now Mike Tindall.

They were erased from most of the Platinum Jubilee - their only official event was the service of thanksgiving. They didn't even get Trooping - Meghan had to arrange for a pap to take her picture to show us they were at Trooping.

They were erased from the Coronation - Harry got lumped in with the extended family (vs the line of succession, order of precedence, or working royals) and didn't get into any of the official programs, memorabilia, or portraits.

They've been shunned by most of British aristocracy - no invite to the Grosvenor wedding later this year.

No royal christening for Lili, and it's exceedingly more and more likely that the BRF hasn't met her yet.

The British media/press actually shows up and will be the first to defend the BRF against Sussex allegations when it really matters.

There are accusations of stolen valor against Harry because he seems to be supporting American military more than British military.

Harry's African charities, of which he is the figurehead, are in crisis with the discovery of SA and other allegations.

Supposedly Harry's role with BetterUp has been downgraded/demoted.

Invictus Games is going through some serious money issues. There's talk of cutting Harry and Meghan loose because they aren't/can't fundraise, and you know they won't go down swinging.

I'm sure there are more, but my point is that even though it looks like the Sussexes are getting away with things, they really haven't. after all, it's death by a thousand cuts...or eating an elephant piece by tiny piece -- it builds up over time.

Also I just realized that the Kate's Ring paint chip linked up earlier shows it being more of a teal or an inkier blue. It isn't - it's more of a cobalt blue or a royal blue.

[ascendingaeons]

A Year With Ma'at

"The great secret of successful living is to reduce the amount of error in oneself and to increase the amount of truth."

- The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

2023 was a very active year for me. I spent a lot of time working on myself and improving my attitude. In the summer of 2023, I did something very courageous. I asked Ma’at to remove from my life all that did not serve me. I always kept Her at a distance because of my mistaken belief that those who devote themselves to Ma’at would find their lives begin to collapse, as it is in Her Nature to consolidate all that is isfet.

Little by little things began to change. I let go of relationships and beliefs that were toxic, which made me focus intently on the good that remained. Doubt and insecurity were stripped away and replaced by faith and certainty. I walked away from social media and stopped focusing on the news. I felt like I was on top of a mountain. The Universe was wide open to me… then I fell, finding myself in a murksome valley. I began having difficulties in every area of my life and my mindset shifted severely into the negative.

Looking back, this was the beginning of an ordeal. Ma’at did Her Work just as I asked then took a step back as though to say, “I have helped you, now you must help yourself.” That December I looked to the horizon. Come January, I struggled to begin walking towards my new mountain. I did a rune reading with a spread of my design called The Hero’s Journey. Each quarter of the spread is marked by three runes, corresponding to months of the year. I find myself in the third quarter of the year and, so far, everything presented in that spread has come to pass.

In February I began a journey of healing. In March some of my relationships were redefined. In April I started a new job. In May I gained newfound confidence. In June I took steps to secure a better future. In July I began building a career. In August I suffered an injury that led to newfound confidence. As I write this in September, I have found strength and calmness in adversity and received profound wisdom from remarkable individuals. I have an idea of what the fourth quarter will bring but I am choosing to be mindful of the present.

Tonight I realized that Ma’at did not entirely step away. Rather, in removing that which has limited me She left a piece of Herself within me and presented me with opportunities to build upon that foundation. In the wake of the fourth quarter I find myself increasingly mindful of the present moment and implementing the lessons that I learned.

I’ve found that trauma can be released but, in its absence, something must grow. We have a choice of what will take its place and should we forego that choice it will be made for us. There exists a balance in all things. The cosmic struggle of ma’at and isfet is mirrored in human consciousness. To whatsoever we give our greatest passions we will perpetuate in our lives and each cycle ended will be born anew.

Through Ma’at I reinvigorated my practice of gratitude and positive thinking. I have seen just how far positive determination can take someone and now begin to apply its principles to my life. I recall what Bast said to me: “Life can be beautiful if you let it.” Put another way, allowance offers greater rewards than resistance. Embrace Life, my friends, and to you, She will be kind.

Dua Ma’at!

[stardustizuku]

PART 2: What is Cinderella?

So, what exactly do I mean when I say “All Girl Dream of Cinderella”?

“Cinderella”, huh.

That’s obviously going to get some eyebrows raised. Because while, yes, Cinderella is a very popular story, it still very much is a western one, isn’t it? Why the universality of “every girl dreams of Cinderella?” How can I be so sure of “all girls”.

For starters, I’m not literally talking about the 1950 Disney’s Cinderella.

I’m more so using Cinderella as a signifier. A symbol. Something a bit bigger than Disney.

Truth is, there’s thousands of variants of the folk tale, which expand all over the world. Cinderella just happens to be the French variant.

But it exists in other countries outside of Europe: The Tale of Ye Xian, is Chinese; Tám and Cám, is Vietnamese - with the only noticeable difference being a goldfish instead of a fairy godmother and golden shoes instead of glass slippers. Korea has Kongjwi and Patjwi, which curiously enough, extends after marriage. The Iranian versions is called Moon-Forehead. The fairy tale has an extensive history and it expands far beyond western ideals. It exists in fairly different contexts.

So, I’m not literally talking about Cinderella, the Disney Movie.

I’m talking about the idea of Cinderella. What it represents.

At its core, Cinderella represents the idea of “something rightfully yours to have, being taken from you [Cinderella had a good life until her dad died], having to endure a lot of pain, but because you endured it gracefully, you gain the affection of others [enduring the abuse gets you help from animals and your fairy godmother], and because you’re such a good person you get a happily ever after [the prince]”.

If you switch around the parts and increment things here and there, you’ll find that most, if not all, cultures have something similar. For good reason.

It’s the idea that, even if something you have is taken from you, the universe will help you set everything in place. It’s the idea that good people succeed, and bad people suffer. It’s a good children’s story, that’s why you see it everywhere. The good will triumph over evil; you will get your happy ending.

But what happens when you grow up? Well, you start questioning the world, obviously.

You become a teenager.

You get sick and tired of Cinderella. I mean, who gets to decide what is good or bad? Why is my dream a man? Can’t I be an imperfect bad and messy girl, and still find a happy ending?

You’re exploring the world, so what’s the point of staying trapped in a story where the prize is a man? What’s the point of dreaming of princesses and castles, when there’s a city right outside your door?

So, you do what all teenagers do. You expand your horizons. You look at more nuanced material, you indulge in stories without happy endings, and maybe you experience some yourself. You face the world, you get heart broken, and its-

Exhausting. The world is chaotic, it’s confusing, and you’re suddenly not a wild and reckless as you were at thirteen.

You are tired.

You’ve seen pain, you’ve gotten hurt, you’ve fought, and you’ve bled, and everything is too much.

YET. You still want a happy ending.

And suddenly, you get Cinderella.

The exact same premise of, “your life was good, now it isn’t. But it should. And the universe will make sure you get a happy ending”.

But now, it hit harder. It’s much more real.

And before long, you indulge in it.

Cinderella is just that. The idea (and illusion) that there’s a clear right and wrong, a good and an evil. And, someday, the universe will reward you for being “good” by putting everything in its place.

That’s how stories like this become popular. Specially with older women and teenagers going through a rough patch in their life.

And while I say Cinderella in a very cishet view, there obviously are queer variants. (Trust me, there are plenty BL and GL Cinderella variants, but that’s an entirely different genre so we’ll put it aside for now). The flavor doesn’t really matter here. But the idea that “everything made wrong, will be put right in the end”.

It’s self indulgence, in its most raw form.

That’s why all girls dream of Cinderella.

It’s not that they dream of this Cinderella.

But they do dream about what it represents.

They dream about their rags turning into dresses. Maybe not literal dresses. But they do dream that they’ll look in the mirror and love what they see.

Maybe they don’t dream about a night at a ball, but they dream of night where they can go out and enjoy themselves. Maybe a nightclub, maybe a concert, maybe a bar, or even just an outing with a group of friends where they let loose.

And maybe they don’t dream of a Prince Charming - but they dream of love. Maybe they dream of companionship. Or the financial stability that comes with it. Or maybe they just dream of having an ending where everything feels right.

Every Girl Dreams of Cinderella - doesn’t mean every girl dreams of a cishet wedding; but they dream of a happy ever after where everything feels right. Whatever shape that takes.

Villainess stories, or in general Isekai shoujo and romance novels, are exactly that. A happy ever after, where everything works how it’s supposed to work. It functions in the way that you, as an AFAB person, were taught as a kid that the world works. Where there’s a prince, where there’s a wedding, and where there’s a dress.

While people write the story, I think it’s important to analyze what that story says. What is exactly that “dream” that was sold to us? And what does it mean that we dream of it as adult women, (and sometimes not even women, or women who like princes anymore)? That what Media is for. What is it that we find comfort in, why, and what does it say about us?

That said.

I find most disappointing, when people with the empathy of a straight white man start to talk about it this genre with contempt. Specially, romance literature aimed at older women.

Because while literature can risky, a point and deep and deconstructive - sometimes that’s not what the audience wants, or even needs.

Sometimes, tired women, want to be able to read stories where the obviously good girl wins, and the obviously bad one loses. Where a big strong man takes all your problems away, and you have the fantasy promised to you since you were a kid. Where, you get to sit back, relax and read about how the wold is okay. It’s right. About how things are working they should.

Men get a chance to do that with blockbuster movies, why can’t women have that too?

Are there things to criticize about them? Yes. That’s partially what I’m here to do.

But you also need to do this with compassion and understanding.

This is not a multimillion dollar film, so you (and I have to stress this with permanent market) CANNOT, approach them with the same cynicism you would a video essay about how the transforms franchise is sexist crap.

In normal life, no one will bat an eye about a guy liking the Fast and Furious franchise. But a woman liking Fifty Shades of Grey, or any of those raunchy pulp novels they sell at a discount bin in Barnes and Nobles - is very much mocked. Made fun of. And the same goes for shitty villainess webcomics and novels. Even a teenager liking shitty romance novels.

I mean, just look at the way people treat Twilight, Colleen Hoover books, heck, even Ali Hazelwood’s books are mocked sometimes. And if you turn to see the contempt many have for women publishing they Reylo Fanfic that, in no way affects others, it’s very obvious the scrutiny through which romance novels are put through - even when they’re meant to be thoughtless self-fulfilling fantasies.

For some reason, there’s this expectation that women have to have the moral high ground. All they consume must be perfect. Not raise eyebrows, not be provocative, and definitely not controversial. While men get to ogle at Megan Fox on 4K at a booked-out theater.

It is not an even playing field.

And you have to acknowledge it, before doing any sort of analysis.

Because the literature that women like, is always considered a lesser form of art (sometimes even compared to world war 1, in case you think I forgot about Twilight), the same criticism said, will have a different impact.

If someone points out that Sixteen Candles is kinda creepy, everyone ignores it. If someone points out Twilight is creepy, it causes media to run a hate campaign against teens who like it.

So, I wanted to make that clear.

While what I will talk about in the next few chapters is important, always bear in mind that: It’s not exclusive to the genre, and not a problem only women have to solve.

It’s also important to recognize that individual authors may not even be aware of what they create comes across. Not to say that they’re all completely blameless, but that the fault sometimes lies less in the individual and more so on the broader trends that permeate literature. Which, in turn, are a reflection of our societal expectations and constructs.

In a more digestible example: A single author writing about how the evil character is ugly, may not be bad. But if multiple authors start doing it, it may mean that we, as a society, apply moral values to beauty. And that must be examined. It’s also important to recognize what exactly makes this character “ugly”, and if that’s born out of our standards of beauty, hidden racism or ableism, and what can we do about it? How will you change based on that information?

It doesn’t mean that the author has any moral failing. They’re telling a story. But it’s our job as literature analysts, to decode what that says about us. As a society. And what it means that it became so popular.

I have this disclaimer because we will inevitably confront the ugly side of this analysis. And I have seen people get very weird about them. Rather point fingers about what author is or isn’t racist, or if their work is or isn’t sexist - to me is far more productive to look at it and ask: Hey, if this is popular, what does it say about us? Why do I like it? What ugly truth am I looking at, in this mirror I’m holding?

I do not wish to appoint moral value in what I’m looking at. Not right now. Because if you do, you throw everything into the garbage and say “it’s bad”, “it’s problematic”, or “it’s gross”. It limits your scope.

The scope I want is not to tell you, “this is good” or “this is bad”. I want to discuss the way that certain tropes originated, what this “Dream of Cinderella” means, and how it can potentially impacts us when we read it.

So, to start talking about this “Dream of Cinderella”, first we have to ask:

Well, who is Cinderella?

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