#the trust issues aren't towards you they're mostly towards me and

[ashersbraincell]

When you've caught yourself looking at pictures and videos of the good times and you feel like you miss them(because you fucking do) but you know there's no way of going back. They're open to it, sure. But you're not. Because it literally cannot work out and you would only prolong the inevitable process of drifting.

But fucking damn it I just want my pookies back. My sillies back. But I know that they care much about the relationship than I do. I've built up this twisted, twisted overblown idea of how deeply connected we are when we're just. Not? We barely vent to one another, and when we do the conversations were very surface level. There was no deeper connection there. But oh how I'd fooled myself there was.

And then my stupid ass gets upset over a betrayal that there wasn't even anything to get betrayed OVER. I felt ghosted but I literally wasn't, that was just how much we interacted in general and I felt it more deeply because of my crumbling mental state. I miss something that never even existed(/stopped existing a while ago for my bsf atleast)

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 09: do you like sweets?

You are fully self-aware that you have delusional tendencies, but you know yourself well enough to think that you weren't that far gone yet to the point that you will start seeing your long distance crush right in front of you.

He's probably real.

Taking notice of your presence, Scaramouche then turned towards you. His face was hard to read, other hand holding his phone and the other inside the pockets of his denim pants. His oversized black shirt was tucked, highlighting his good figure.

'Holy. He's got good style too,' you thought. It was simple, yes. But he carries outfits so damn well.

But what is he even doing here in your uni?

Since an eye contact has already been made, you flashed a sheepish smile and a light wave. Your loud personality online was such a huge contrast in comparison to how you're actually behaving now.

He just stared. 'Oh. So he's the cold type. God, he's exactly my type.'

"Aren't you going in?" You snapped out of your musings upon hearing his voice.

"I was about to. I'm starving," you chuckled. He scoffed. "I could use a bit of food, too."

"We should eat at the birthday party then."

"Kazuha's?"

You nod.

He looked away. "Go and eat inside. I'll find another place to eat at."

You flashed a look of disbelief. Scaramouche raised a brow in confusion. "Dude, you're literally already at a restaurant and you still want to go somewhere else to eat?"

"And you're hungry, aren't you?"

He sighed. "Look, I don't know if you know this, but the one holding a party — well, we're not on the best of terms."

Oh. Yeah.

There's that thing.

How the fuck could you forget that the love of your life is from the rival of your brother's team?

"Ah," You nod again. He seemed to take it as you understanding his reasoning and turned the other way, attempting to head off.

If only you hadn't tugged at his shirt.

"What the?!"

You led him to a lone bench at the parking lot, lit warmly by the streetlight just directly above it. "Sit there and wait for me."

"Excuse me?" He hissed. "What am I? A dog?"

"Your words, not mine." You grinned. "Just do as I say, okay? It won't be long, I promise."

He was about to retort but you cut him off by hurriedly entering the lively restaurant.

When you got back, you easily spotted Scaramouche who was sitting comfortably on the bench where you left him. He immediately scooted over once he saw you.

"Wow," he remarked. "You know I actually doubted if you would even come back."

You chuckled as you sat and handed him his plate. "Do you have trust issues?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, so you do."

He rolled his eyes.

Your late dinner with him was mostly filled with a comforting silence, with some bits of small talk in between. The only ones left on your plate were delectable desserts, as well as the little pieces of food you left out.

"Do you like sweets?"

"No," Scaramouche speedily replied. "They're disgusting."

You subconsciously frown. "Shame. I like them."

"You can have mine then," he says as he picks up his portion of desserts and transfers them to your plate. Unbeknownst to you, his observant gaze failed to miss how your eyes sparkled in delight at the sight of mouthwatering sweets.

As he did so, Scaramouche also spotted some leftovers on your plate. "Do you not like bitter stuff?"

"My tongue can't handle them."

"Give it to me then instead of wasting food, idiot."

You let out a laugh. "Is that your way of saying you like bitter stuff?"

The man just let out a quiet "tch" before taking a bite.

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

previous . masterlist . next

SUMMARY —you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.

NOTES -> a lot has happened lmaoo i was so busy aaa -> i graduated hs finally :P -> i also submitted my requirements for college haha -> also can u guys believe i'm gonna be in college while my college smau is on going omg -> and apologies for ghosting HASDHADHA (also wtf fontaine livestream tomorrow already whaaat time flies so fast omg)

TAGLIST I (closed)

@lady-elodie @krnzysh @syriiina @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @lowkeyivorie @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks

[yanderes-galore]

I see nothing for Demon Slayer yet so maybe a platonic concept of Tanjiro and Nezuko with their sibling Darling? They can be human or a demon like their sister, either way is fine, thank you! :)

I can do a concept with this, sure! This is mostly just me dropping small HCs and ideas like usual, hope you enjoy :) It's a bit short as I only had one big idea in mind and struggled on how to flesh it out? They're pretty docile (for the most part).

Yandere! Platonic! Tanjiro + Nezuko with Sibling! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Violence, Isolation, Murder implied, Blood, Clingy behavior, Gaslighting in one line, Smothering siblings.

Regardless on if you're human or a demon the two are incredibly protective of you.

You, Tanjiro, and Nezuko are the only surviving members of your family.

As a result you three are very close.

You've all been through enough.

It's not like your two siblings are weak, either.

Tanjiro is a Demon Slayer and Nezuko is a demon with flaming blood.

They are more than capable of protecting you, really.

As expected of the siblings they rarely leave your side.

During the day Tanjiro helps to protect you.

Meanwhile during the night Nezuko steps in to help too.

When it comes to platonic yandere siblings they primarily act isolating and protective.

They aren't cruel though.

Just... smothering.

Tanjiro is incredibly caring towards you and his sister.

He always asks about how you're doing and is very understanding if something is bothering you.

Nezuko is protective and clingy to you, often grabbing at you for affection while making small noises.

She loves you just as much as Tanjiro does and feels happy/calm when you're around.

The two do their best to help provide for you and care for you.

They even try to keep you out of trouble when they can.

Even if you can hold your own as a Slayer or demon, the two would rather keep you out of demon fights.

When you insist you can help, Tanjiro is adamant on you staying out of it and Nezuko appears very worried.

The two are hard to hate/resent.

They mean well... but that's no excuse for isolation, is it?

The two would never hurt you thankfully.

No, they mean to give you the best care they can offer as you are a trio.

It's just they tend to no allow outsiders around you and get rather violent when demons come into the picture.

Tanjiro and Nezuko are fine when someone they trust interacts with you like Inosuke and Zenitsu.

Yet there's certainly a line.

The moment someone starts thinking they can flirt with you or pry you away from them?

Then they step in.

Tanjiro is usually really calm and kind.

Although... he's still capable of anger... and that cold glare of his is a warning.

He finds it quite rude that someone can just waltz in and act such a way with his sibling.

How sleazy.

Nezuko is a similar way, the normally cute demon snarling when you show slight discomfort.

The two don't like forcing you to do things.

They want you happy as your siblings, yet they do make an effort to be the only ones you interact with half the time.

If not all the time....

The two are primarily harmless if not suffocating.

They don't usually like to use lethal force to get what they want.

They're both primarily ones for manipulation, often deciding to guilt you into listening to them as your siblings.

Lethal force is strictly deserved towards demons/people attacking you.

But most who aren't demons know better.

Your two siblings feel more like bodyguards at times.

They're overprotective and judging of those around you.

Yet if there is no issues the two go back to being your caring siblings.

It's probably a good thing these two are primarily docile as long as they have you beside them.

The last thing you need is to witness Tanjiro and Nezuko covered in the blood of... someone for daring to take you away from them.

Things only ever go downhill when the two fear they can lose you.

As I mentioned before, if you planned on running off with someone the two aren't standing for it.

In their eyes the only family and comfort you'll ever need is with them.

Why would you want to leave your only siblings anyways?

Why do you blame them for locking you away from everyone else?

They're just being good siblings!

All you need to do is relax and let them hold you... everything will be okay, won't it?

You never saw them harm anyone... it's just in your head.

They promise they'll protect and care for you as family should...

Just as long as you don't leave them for someone else.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Amanda the Adventurer Mouse OC

Based on @madameinfinitehearts 's theory about a new third character being added in by Hameln in the third game (and that character potentially being a mouse based on the Hameln mascot) I got inspired to draw my own take on that idea.

Later when it's just Amanda and Wooly:

Wooly: I don't think we should trust her.

Amanda (sarcastically): Oh really? Whatever gave you THAT impression

Wooly: I mean, they're adding a new character after all this time? Plus, look at her ears… don't they seem… familiar?

Amanda: Yeah their the same ears as the Hameln logo you dummy.

Wooly: whispering Excatly.

Amanda: So? I thought you LIKED Hameln

Wooly: Well…

Piper: Whatcha talking about?

Summary of character:

Yes, her name is Piper. Yes based on the Piped Piper of Hameln. Too on the nose or is it perfect? (It was all I could think of tbh). She's around the age of 15-19 years old. She's very girly and takes on a babysitter/big sister role toward Amanda and Wooly, keeping them on script and such.

Original description in the reblog I made:

Honestly, I think a mouse might be more fitting, especially one in the same cartoony artstyle as Amanda and Wooly. If Hameln did add in a new character, they'd have to be as unsuspicious as possible. When designing her, I decided to give her ears that mirrored the Hameln logo, which would be a hint to where her loyalty lies. The ears kind of looked like a bow to me since I decided to give her this extremely feminine personality that would parallel Amanda's tomboyishness. I was going for teenage babysitter vibe for the personality, like she's supposed to keep a super-close eye on them and prevent them from talking about Hameln or their situation any further, get them back on script, and make them forget all over again.

Hameln probably has other children under contract, and this could be one of them. An older teen actor (I'm thinking 15-18) who has been fully brainwashed by the cult and has complete loyalty to them. Their oldest and most loyal actor

Now she'd probably not end up saying directly that she had always wanted to be a part of their hit show (mostly cuz she wants the spotlight) because that would be a dead giveaway. Or she could be a bit ditzy at times, giving Amanda and Wooly small moments to meet up or sharing valuable information by accident.

She's supposed to be a role-model/big sister figure to Amanda. Thats the main reason I gave her hair because I could imagine them doing hair and having girl talks (where she'd coax information out of Amanda but it won't work because Amanda has big trust issues). Also, skirts aren't typically adventure clothes, which would make her seem more off.

[chuffycharles]

Twin Size Mattress C!Tommy Addition

I need someone to make a ctommy animatic/fanfic with the song 'Twin Size Mattress', here me out on this, the song fits him SO well!! Like heres some random lines from said song and how it could work:

EX 1;

"Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face"-Pandoras Vault, aka him getting beaten with a potato

"There are lessons to be learned, consequences for all the stupid things I say"- Before he was beaten to y'know death he was yelling profanities and purposefully trying to make Dream mad, that is not to say he deserved it, but that Dream was quote-on-quote "trying to teach him a lesson"

EX 2;

"For the friends I've made, for the sleepless nights"- exile. Thinking about his friends(?) whilst trying to sleep in an uncomfortable, cold, cramped, and borderline crappy tent.

"For the warning signs I've completely ignored"- This line has potential for multiple things like maybe pre-exile with Tubbo and how Tubbo seemed more distant to Tommy, or maybe in exile when being told to throw his stuff in a hole he ignores the warning signs that are basically telling him if he doesn't listen he will regret it some way or another and eventually he immediately complies to the request so as to not get hurt.

EX 3;

"I wanna contribute to the chaos I don't wanna watch and then complain"- Post-exile with Technoblade, he starts to heal a bit, and his chaotic personality slowly begins coming back with Technoblade complaining about it which causes Tommy to visibly deflate as he's still in a vulnerable state where everything he is told, everything that happens, every way he's treated has an effect on him. (I live for the angst tbfr)

"Cause I am through finding blame That is the decision that I have made"-Post-Pandoras Vault, after his revival in the prison he feels lifeless in a way. After what was 2 months for Tommy in Limbo he finds it unreal to be back and alive, but he wants to stay like that, so he grows incredibly cautious and self-isolated, staying out of big events just trying to stay more on the down low, never letting his health go down, always wearing armor and staying inside and away from mobs as much as he could. Of course there are exceptions to this, like with the hotel and such.

EX 4;

"It's no big surprise you turned out this way When they close their eyes and prayed you would change"- Tommys just a traumatized child soldier whose seen and experienced way more than he should've, at this point he's just trying his hardest to get by and fly under the radar. Unfortunately for him very few people realize he's still a child, everything he has done was influenced by someone who he could trust or who he thought he could trust. People, mostly adults blame him for things he has no control over, multiple people blame him for wars that aren't his fault, blaming him for small and big problems he was forced into. And then when he's traumatized and has multiple mental health issues (PTSD, Psychosis, Eating Disorders, Minor Schizophrenia etc..) they're surprised, even though its 100% their fault. Leaving him under the care of mentally unstable people (Wilbur, Technoblade, Dream) then praying he would get over this "phase"?? (This made me so mad to type oh my lord)

"And they cut your hair, and sent you away You stopped by my house the night you escaped"-Being exiled from L'manberg, and eventually 6-9 months later escaping to Technoblades house malnourished and frostbitten.

EX 5;

"She hopes I'm cursed forever"- Niki trying to kill him with Jack not realizing (or perhaps knowing but in denial) that its misdirected anger towards Tommy. "And my nightmares will have nightmares every night"-After dreams escape, he becomes more paranoid his every thought on where Dream is when he'll come hurt him. Until eventually Dream haunted his Dreams as well.

Alright I'm done with my rant now!!:D

[nekropsii]

…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

[molsno]

this is kind of random but do you ever feel like people treat transmisogyny as a lesbian-specific problem, and if so, does it bother you as a trans lesbian? i don’t really mean general criticisms of transmisogyny within lesbian spaces, but rather people who seem to talk about transmisogyny like lesbians *specifically* perpetrate it the most, or are more capable of perpetrating it than anyone. i feel like this has become a popular trend in queer discourse (usually from tme non-lesbian ppl) to demonize or ‘other’ lesbians, & i think it extends from contempt toward “man-hating lesbians” but lumping trans girls under “men” to legitimize it, but i don’t know if i just notice it more because i’m tme, and i don’t want to overstep or make anyone feel like I’m discouraging discussions of transmisogyny by saying this isn’t a lesbian-exclusive issue. i know the ‘political lesbian’ movement was predominantly driven by straight cis women (and a smaller but non-zero number of cis bi and lesbian women) who laid a lot of groundwork for associating bioessentialism with lesbianism but is it unfair to say “lesbians aren’t an essentialist hate group and shouldn’t be generalized/singled out”? like is this a trend you’ve noticed as a tma lesbian, or am i looking at this through a misguided lens? sorry for rambling on, feel free to ignore and i hope your night/day is going well <3

I think that definitely happens to an extent, but that's mostly because tme non-lesbians believe in lesbophobic stereotypes that lesbians are more likely to be terfs and that most terfs are lesbians. it definitely bothers me as a lesbian, because not even being trans exempts me from these stereotypes. I've literally had one of my former best friends tell me they didn't trust lesbians, including me, because terfs invalidated their gender as a nonbinary person. like. it's vile.

so yeah, I think it's fair to ask people not to generalize about lesbians, but at the same time, I've also seen firsthand, many times, that transmisogyny is still prevalent among tme lesbians. the critiques tme non-lesbians make are mostly just blatant lesbophobia (and transmisogyny by assuming lesbians are talking about trans women when they say men), but over time I've become increasingly disillusioned by tme lesbians after seeing just how willing they are to throw tma lesbians under the bus. as just one example, a few months ago, there was this bi lesbian blocklist that was going around on here, and regardless of your feelings on that particular topic, the fact of the matter is that almost every single person on that list was transfem. trans women who have never identified as bi lesbians or even said anything publicly about bi lesbians (including several of my close friends) wound up on that list for seemingly no reason, and found themselves blocked by most of the tme lesbians on this website. you would think that people who put "tme" in their bios and reblog posts about transmisogyny would at least make an effort to stop and think about the implications of this, but it turns out that a sizable number of tme lesbians will exile a bunch of trans women from their community based on blind accusations of them being predatory men invading the lesbian community without a second thought.

that being said, the behaviors I just described aren't really unique to tme lesbians either. tme people of all genders and orientations have been doing the exact same things for decades. so what I'm saying is, although I don't think it's fair to generalize or single out lesbians as being particularly transmisogynistic, that doesn't mean tme lesbians should be pretending that they're incapable of transmisogyny and insisting they don't need to hold each other accountable for perpetrating it.

[raayllum]

I remember starting the show because my friend told me about Callum and Rayla and how cute they were together. But after binge watching all 5 seasons, I just feel like the writers don’t really give a damn about them, in many ways, compared to other couples. But, to be fair, I have lots of issue with the writing. But, to me, the primary idea was to make Callum and Claudia a couple (no, I don’t ship them together), because they actually have a background, development, even chemistry too. So, I don’t understand why the writers changed their minds on this (please, tell me if they ever addressed this issue). I just think that him moving on from a childhood love, like that, out of nowhere to Raylla was again a bit odd and out of nowhere. Because nothing indicated that in the first 2 seasons. Same goes to Rayla too. And, in S5 they have acted more as friends than anything else. It’s just weird. What’s your opinion about this? And again, I don’t ship Callum with Claudia, it’s just my opinion after watching all seasons.

Thank you for sharing your feelings, I definitely have been in fandoms where the Big Ship (canon or fanon, in show or in fandom) have just not been things I could click or with or understand, so you have my sympathies. The crew has gone on record saying that Callum and Rayla being a couple was not originally the plan (we don't know if there were any endgames being considered for either of them as alternatives, but I lean toward no) with Janaya and Ruthari presumably being the main couples. This changed in 2x04 with the lightning flash and moment the two share on the boat, "everyone in the room saw it" (legit quote from showrunner) and they began to write and develop it. It is unknown if they went back to add or shift anything in S1 (we know the crew works on seasons simultaneously) but it wouldn't surprise me given the vibes

I definitely can't promise to change your mind (I'm obviously a big Rayllum shipper and I have been since S1, so I'm clearly coming at it from a different perspective) but I do have some metas that do address what you've brought up, I'm gonna link them below and then do a quick summary in case you understandably don't wanna read all that!

Rayllum and Loneliness (Post S3): a meta about how it is likely (now confirmed in supplementary material) that Rayla grew up pretty friendless and a deeper dive into how Rayla is/was the first person Callum had who was unequivocally his peer and his friend (as Soren bullied and Callum's crush - as well as other things - made him and Claudia have a fair amount of distance.)

Callum and Claudia: You Already Did (Post S3): On what appeal the ship has, why it may not appeal to others, and why I don't think Callum and Claudia were actually that close pre-S1, the various factors why, and why they were doomed to fall apart since 1x02.

How/Why Callum's feelings for Claudia and Rayla Were Overlapping (Post-S3): Exactly what it says on the tin, mostly because he is obsessed with Rayla lowkey in S1 (trying to get her to laugh three times in 1x05, taking a flirty tone with her when they aren't arguing in 1x06, etc) and then outright devoted in S2, trusting her over Claudia in 2x03.

Rebuttals to Rayllum Reservations (Claudia, Pacing, Etc) Post-S3: Pacing, emotional intimacy, platonic development and romantic feelings, etc. Probably the simplest meta and the most on brand for what you're (presumably) looking for, but the other metas I think uh do contribute nicely to explaining why Rayllum is what it is and som of the reasons it appeals to people.

It's also honestly not surprising to me that in S5 they just feel like Friends (hopefully best friends) given that a decent chunk of the Rayllum fandom, myself included, are on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums, and don't really care if they're Romantic as long as they're Life Partners. (Aspec Rayllum tag here) Callum and Ezran are two of the, if not the, most important people in Rayla's life, and Rayla and Ezran are two of the most important people in Callum's life. To me, romance / devotion / whatever you want to call it intermingling makes sense. One of the things I've loved most about S4-S5 is the fact that whatever they are, they have each other's backs, and they care for and protect each other, no romance required, which hits different since they do both also have romantic feelings for each other. It's just not a pre-requisite for them and a lack of it is never something they'd hold against one another. In other words:

Chemistry is also something that's hard to pin down sometimes - like all shipping preferences are subjective, but evaluations of chemistry tend to be in particular (for example, I don't really think Callum and Claudia have chemistry in that way, but that doesn't mean that they can't or they don't).

That said: platonic Rayllum tag here and foils Rayllum tag here, and I hope whatever parts of the show you do enjoy, well, give you joy.

[the5n00k]

Scratch in Scratch the Surface vs I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie

[[[spoilers for season 2]]]

Long post sorry

I've been comparing these two episodes a lot, especially after the song Ghosts Aren't the Enemy from Book Marks the Sprite reminding me SO much of Lose-Lose from season 1. The conflicts are pretty similar, Molly has to keep someone from finding out about Scratch because of real and disastrous consequences, although instead of the flow of failed phantoms, this season it's the ghost chaser Chens. They aren't directly comparable since the contexts are different (Libby is a close friend and Ollie is a romantic interest) ((I'M SPEAKING CANONICALLY DON'T KILL ME SHIPPERS)) and the plot of Some-Ollie isn't really "hide Scratch" it's more focused on Molly and Ollie's relationship and how Scratch is reacting to it. Speaking of which:

Scratch's reaction to Molly's concerns about Libby is very dismissive. He doesn't really care about her and he's not super invested in Molly's personal problems either. The only times he's helped her out (at this point in the series) is when it personally affects him or he feels familiar pity for her. (First Day Frights and The Best Concert Ever are good examples of this) He's not completely won over by her antics yet. And while he is concerned for her wellbeing at this point, it's more like the sort of concern and worry you feel when you see somebody who's clearly not gonna be able to make the entire 5k run. Like you're worried but it's better if you just don't get involved. Baseline empathy, really

He does start cracking when Molly asks if she can tell Libby because she's misinterpreting the situation. Even during this, Molly doesn't break Scratch's trust and doesn't outright tell her without asking first. Knowing what we know about Scratch now, I think he's always had a soft spot for friendships and hates seeing them end, even subconsciously. He smiles as Molly runs away to catch up with Libby but he's still not happy about it. Yeah he warms up to Libby but telling anyone about him is a potential danger, especially if they feel the need to tell anyone else.

And in Friend-Off, he didn't really have a justifiable reason to be a jerk to Libby other than Molly's scavenger hunt they were both forced to do. Everything he said (both of them said really) was out of a place of pure jealousy. He even admits that at the end of the episode.

What's important to point out is this entire episode he's only thinking about himself (not an uncommon trend for this character) and is only willing to sacrifice when pushed to do so. Not saying he's necessarily written badly in this episode, far from it, but it is quite a contrast between that and his actions in the season 2 episode 5a segment I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie.

I'd like to preface this with one of the scrapped titles for this ep was "Molly's Choice" and I think that will haunt me till I die that's such an evil title

I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie is a VERY compelling episode. While the set up for it and Scratch the Surface is similar, this one feels like it has more stakes involved. Molly has a crush on Oliver Chen, a ghost hunter, and you can see how that could immediately cause issues. Scratch is even more dismissive towards Molly at points because of this, even colder and snappier than some of season 1a in my opinion. (For good reason obviously) and while Scratch's concerns here are mostly fear for his own safety, it's also jealousy. If he was so worried about Ollie catching him, he wouldn't be around him at all, let alone trying to sabotage the dance.

Molly doesn't take the threat the Chens pose very seriously and dismisses most of Scratch's concerns. (Not that she's a bad friend for this, she just thinks they're silly YouTubers and wants to enjoy a middle school dance) Scratch eventually blows up on her and they get into a rather brutal argument for an episode 5 of a DTVA show. It's presented in the usual silly way but they both say some rather insensitive things to each other in the heat of the moment.

We've NEVER seen them disagree this hard on anything. They've had differing opinions before but neither of them is budging on this one. They split off and you can see what Molly said to him hurt. She seemingly chose what was more important to her. He seemed to look back as if he was debating on going back in to apologize to her for what he said and did too because she just wants to have a good time and he was trying to ruin that. But he decides he's the last thing she needs right now and starts to go home, only to get caught in a spectral snare.

Here's the REALLY important part I need y'all to listen closely:

He had every right to an "I told you so". He had every right to tell her never to see Ollie again and to even consider moving just to save his metaphorical skin. But he doesn't. She apologizes first and he interjects with his own apology for trying to ruin her night. Her happiness is what's most important to him now. That priority shift happened since Out of House and Home, maybe arguably even sooner. He doesn't tell her never to see him again, in fact he IMPLIES that she should be able to do what she wants and he wouldn't interfere anymore. It was Molly's choice to cut it off with Ollie after seeing Scratch in that much danger.

He's still a self centered jerk with possessive tendencies and separation anxiety but it's important to point out that he recognizes Molly as her own person and he shouldn't interfere with her happiness. I think season 1a Scratch wouldn't have even LET her go to the dance with a ghost hunter as her co-chair to begin with. I know I don't need to defend Scratch's actions since most people are on his side in this episode (a weird change of pace) but I needed to get my thoughts out about him and his development so far. My boy has come so far, they feel like good, real friends. Also I'm just gonna reiterate Molly wasn't completely at fault here because she just wanted to enjoy the dance and both her and Scratch had equal fault in this scenario, that's called ✨good writing✨, you don't have to pick a side. THE WORLD ISN'T BLACK AND WHITE, OLLIE

I hope they address Scratch's jealous nature in a future episode, especially since they're hinting towards an Ollie redemption. After the ghost hunting fear is gone, that jealousy is gonna still be there, I'm kind of hoping after that talk outside of the school where Scratch resigned himself to whatever Molly wanted to do, he wouldn't be too jealous of him and we won't have a Friend-Off 2 or something. (Although if he decides to be a little petty and messes with Ollie a little, I welcome that. That sounds really funny honestly)

I feel like halfway through this I just started rambling, I hope my point made it across clearly LOL tldr; scratch is a well written character and he means so much to me and if I see any Molly/Ollie/Mollie slander on my account I will be throwing hands <3

[shirefantasies]

Hello! I’m new to Tumblr, your blog was one of the first I found and followed! I was wondering if you could match/ship/pair me with an LotR character! Specifically LotR if you end up getting around to me, please!

I’m 5’3” with dark hair, though I keep it shaven in a buzz cut style. I’m pansexual, so you can ship me with anyone. I’m also autistic and possibly ADHD and OCD. Still learning about myself and trying to get diagnoses and people that understand me.

Moving on! I’m rather goofy! I’ve got a silly, meme-like side to me that I have trouble restraining. I’ll constantly see references to memes/obscure things I like everywhere and always point them out. I also make random noises and jokes that only those close to me will understand or be able to interpret the meaning of. I’m a good listener, and always try to help solve problems, though I may not be too good at getting the end result where it needs to be. Hahaha! I like to cuddle people, though I’m a little picky with touch because of sensory issues.

As for the other side of me, I am very paranoid, and have anxiety, severe depression, and PTSD, so it’s hard for me to trust people. I’m introverted, too. I always have been but ever since the trauma that caused my mental health issues I’ve become extremely introverted, almost in a comical way. I have some self-hate based behaviors towards myself that I’m working on unlearning. I constantly need reminded to take care of myself, and will have unexpected breakdowns, depression lows, or flashbacks. There are things or actions that will upset/trigger me that may need to be avoided. It’s rough but I still try my best to please everyone.

I hope that’s enough, if it’s not you can always contact me directly for more info or with questions! Thanks for considering!

Well that’s such an honor! Glad to be an early addition to your tumblr family 🥰 heck yeah you can have a lord of the rings character, and I hope you like being a hobbit because because I ship you with…

Pippin!

Sometimes it feels like no one understands him. So when Pippin hears tales of some far-off hermit, he feels a strange kinship with them immediately knowing only that they are the subject of talk, too. Maybe they’ve disappointed people with ways they cannot help, too. Pippin, though, could never run away from people- he loves them too much, enough to try again and again until he gets it right. He doesn’t know why he is the way he is, after all. He just is. Isn't everybody?

He gets lost one day, lost further out in the edges of the hills then he's been yet. Not quite far enough to be frightened, but just enough to see the waning of the hobbit-holes and the thinning of the Shire's green hills. It isn't until the sun descends that he truly gets concerned, rushing to the nearest hole he finds and ringing the bell dangling by its big round door. You answer, looking quite puzzled and not entirely unafraid of the stranger before you. What do you say? "Er, can I help you?" "Well," he begins, "I'm lost, you see. Can I trouble you to stay the night before I return to the road?" Silence overtakes you, ponderance, glances this way and that, before you finally nod and bid him entry. "You've not come to report to the others, have you now?" "I beg your pardon?" "Back in town. All the rumors. Part of why I avoid it, not that it helps them," you shake your head. That is when Pippin realizes he's found his kindred hermit, and you are nothing like he imagined. Contrary to the stories, he thinks there's something about you that looks...friendly.

"You're the-!" Barely resisting the urge to exclaim 'hermit', Pippin glances around your mostly quite normal hobbit hole. "Erm, I always wondered why they told all those stories." "Because they're a fat lot of gossips, that's why," you shoot back, shuffling through your kitchen, "they aren't exactly the champions of anyone who's...different." "That I know," Pippin responds with a nod, voice going a bit quiet. His words have you turning around, peering at him like you've only just seen him. "I see. Well, want anything?" In the end, you share some of your dinner with this stranger, who tells you his name is Peregrin Took, more frequently called Pippin. Pippin doesn't mock the sounds you make, in fact you notice that he seems to find himself mimicking them. As you go through the evening's motions, he doesn't seem to mind that you have your way of doing things. When something you see reminds you of a song you made up, you can't help but sing it, and soon Pippin is joining along. You even make up a song together. When he leaves, you find yourself saying something very uncharacteristic: "If you ever want to come back, well, I'll be here." Something in his smile, the way he nods, has you feeling strangely hopeful.

Come back he does, and sing more songs to and with you in that beautiful voice he does. You're ready for him to recoil, to pack up and leave you behind like everyone else does when he catches a nightmare turning to a breakdown, but as he peers in the doorway he simply asks if he can touch you, hold your hand or even you. When he stays, helps you with breakfast and cheers at your smile, twirling you across the kitchen, well, you can't help feeling a rare peace at your little paradise getting a bit bigger.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[formicarum-rex]

ive been on cohost on-and-off since november, and i think im going to stick with it (famous last words, i know, but i am genuinely enjoying my time there, meeting some nice people and enjoying the posts that come across my dash)

home page

my blog

general observations, differences between here and tumblr (both good and bad), and caveats under the cut

the ability to use html and css in posts is fantastic, and while i do sometimes miss being able to change the formatting with a simple highlight like on tumblr, the added abilities to customize more than makes up for that. i've only used it a bit myself, but plan to use it more going forward, and you can get some fantastic shitposts on your dash because of this. note that only posts are hyper-customizable. blogs themselves aren't as customizable as on tumblr (think the default/mobile theme here)

i think their pro-privacy, anti-algorithm, anti-numbers philosophy is admirable. it's not perfect-- funding is a continual trouble, although they have plans for making it sustainable.

as with all smaller websites, it is a bit of an echo-chamber and has its share of drama and controversy.

the fewer number of people also lead to there being fewer good posts than on here, especially if you have niche interests, but my dash is still quite active, and i have to check it at least once a day to keep up-to-date.

if you edit your original post, all reblogged versions of the post are updated as well.

it has a comprehensive cw system built into posts, more reminiscent of mastodon than tumblr. there is discourse about its use or over-use, but on the whole i think this is a big improvement.

i (thankfully) haven't run into anybody or any post that required blocking or silencing or muting yet, but the options are there and thorough.

related, there is a no-nonsense attitude towards bigotry. i havent run into any bad eggs myself, but from what i've been given to understand they are sniped more or less as soon as they're discovered. there may be moderation issues as the website expands (this is one issue where places split up into smaller groups like mastodon have benefits) but as of right now, it seems to be working just fine, and better than tumblr.

there's no general within-post search for the sake of privacy and to limit harassment opportunities, but unlike tumblr, the tag search is functional. in addition, all posts with tags you've bookmarked show up in a separate, single tab on your dash, in proper chronological, non-algo'd order, which is a good way to discover new people to follow and posts to reblog. this is similar to "your tags" on tumblr, but unlike tumblr, i trust it to work

i haven't used this yet, but sideblogs are able to comment, ask, like, follow, etc, separately. no more "follows from [main url]"

in general, i like the vibes better than pillowfort, the other tumblr replacement site, and its a much more satisfying tumblr replacement than mastodon, because, well, its not like twitter (although i do like mastodon for other reasons).

there are some odd things that differentiate it from tumblr that you have to get used to at best, and can be extremely frustrating at worst:

notes cant be viewed per-post. they're all under your notification tab, chronologically listed. this hasnt been a problem for me, but i understand that this can get messy if you have a lot of followers/notes

if you are not OP, you cannot view others' reblogs. i've found that this is mostly fine, but it does mean you cant dive into the notes to see if anyone has added anything you'd like to reblog instead of the version on your dash. changing this is one of the most requested features. it doesn't seem to conflict with the site's anti-numbers ideals as long as it only lists contentful reblogs (those with additions), so i'm hopeful it will be added.

OP is not notified of tags on reblogs. all comments that are towards OP and not towards your followers belong in the comments. unlike other things in this list, this isn't a downside so much as a neutral difference that has taken me a long time to get used to.

the comments are generally important. reblog chains are still used, but comments (replies) are more functional than they are on tumblr, with proper ability to reply in comment threads and a better UI. they are used more often on cohost than on here, especially if you want to start a convo with OP and others viewing the post. as far as i can tell, everyone can see every comment, unlike the reblogs.

photoset layouts are not as flexible as on tumblr

no DMs

discovery hasn't been a big issue for me as someone who is primarily a reader/viewer (if anything, the functional tagging system and unified bookmarked tags tab makes it easier), but ive heard that for creators it can be frustrating

i am under the impression that pillowfort is the place to go for specifically fandom posting. more fandom people have been joining cohost though, especially since a bunch of tumblr people joined a couple weeks ago.

i realize this isn't exactly a hard sell, but want people to be aware of potential downsides before creating an account. despite these things, i really do urge you to check it out if youre interested! it's a good place :)

[not-poignant]

Hi, I found you through Eversion and I'm now loving UTB, and I read TWW in between updates and it was great too! (Was weird reading UTB and TWW simultaneously considering the opposite Ef&Gwyn dynamics but I did that to myself lol.) I have 2 random UTB questions!

1. I was surprised Polly didn't react to Gary's Big Stinky!! Can dogs not smell human pheromones at all (and e.g. learn to associate certain smells w certain states/behaviors in their owners), or is Polly just... Polly? This got me wondering about unique service dog applications in UTB-verse, like alerting to oncoming corrupted heats or rages or PACS flare-ups, or the smell of fear as a cue to do a task. (Real dogs can detect stuff like high/low blood sugar or oncoming seizures, dogs are so cool.)

2. I know you may just not know yet, but do you think Ef will ever use his safeword? I'm a huge sucker for the moment when a character safewords and their partner respects it and you feel that trust. Loved it in Eversion and TWW!

Hi hi anon!

1. I was surprised Polly didn't react to Gary's Big Stinky!! Can dogs not smell human pheromones at all (and e.g. learn to associate certain smells w certain states/behaviors in their owners), or is Polly just... Polly?

Polly is Polly. Of the 700 million to 1 billion dogs in the world, there's only a very tiny percentage that can sniff out cancer! (Or detect seizures etc.) (Also of the research done so far, trained sniffer dogs re: cancer are still giving a false positive around 10-30 percent of the time, which isn't great for drug busts, but is even worse if you're one of the 30%~ of patients given a false positive diagnosis for cancer and then have to wait to find out if it's wrong or not - we have a ways to go! Like, there are unusually adept cancer sniffer dogs, and then there's ones that'll just false positive on you a LOT which combined with the false negative rates is like... they're still working on it.

Lots of potential, but they're not rolling it out everywhere just yet so that people don't get PTSD from false positive cancer results (it happens) and then need an entirely different kind of service dog dslfkjasd) - I believe what the research has pivoted towards is trying to isolate what the dogs are smelling, so that we can omit dogs entirely and use breath test strips that won't have a 10-30% false positive rate (or a high false negative rate) - afaik for at least some kinds of cancer, that research is super promising in cancer detection science (this subject is of broad interest to me, as I have a genetic cancer sdlkajfs).

But also, Polly's been with Gary all her life, she's used to his pheromones, his strong emotions, and his issues. She literally lives on a property with three peak alphas, a near-constant influx of severely distressed omegas, and also severely distressed alphas tbh, she's extremely used to it, and it's also all she's ever known.

The world according to Polly is a world where high levels of distressing pheromones happen, and it doesn't stop how much love she gets or how much she's adored. She has no reason to react like it's unusual, no one's ever directing that anger at her. And also, she's elderly, and her senses aren't what they used to be anyway. But if this had happened when she was younger, I think she mostly would've been like 'I'll go stand near the upset person and see if I can get some pets.'

I'm sure there are awesome applications for service dogs in the UtR world, but tbh, this is a world that thinks of using directives first to fix mental illness issues, than like...service dogs, so the dystopian universe bears out a little more on that front!

But I also just frankly don't think that canines are that clued into human pheromones overall in this universe, or at least, not in a way where they often super care about them? Like, I'm sure more high strung, neurotic dogs would get stressed, but I think it would be the same amount of stress they'd show if someone was emotional or distraught or stressed in general, not necessarily something that blows up purely in response to pheromone production.

2. I know you may just not know yet, but do you think Ef will ever use his safeword? I'm a huge sucker for the moment when a character safewords and their partner respects it and you feel that trust. Loved it in Eversion and TWW!

You may not have read it (and there's no obligation to!), but Efnisien uses his safeword/s a ton in Falling Falling Stars, to the point where desensitising him to safewords is part of his character arc, so I'm on the fence about if/when he'll use it in this story.

I kind of like the whole spectrum of safeword usage, from 'not at all' to 'all the time.' I've just come from a fic where Efnisien was using it all the time (Falling Falling Stars) so I'm not likely to have anything like that in the fic that follows. Efnisien's personality here is along a poor communication spectrum with a preference for letting someone take control in the bedroom, and the safeword is there mostly for reader comfort, because I don't think Efnisien wants one at all. Which isn't to say he'll never use it - because I have no plan for this story dslkajfsd - but in all the future scenes I've imagined between them, there's none where the safeword is being used, and that's not always because Efnisien is 100% on board with what's happening.

(Discussion of Gary's attitude towards safeword under the Read More, which some folks may find unpleasant).

It's funny in a way, in all of canon Fae Tales, Augus never allows Gwyn a safeword once, doesn't even suggest it, and most of their early scenes are back and forth rape, basically, and then it shifts to dubcon and 'pretty much never negotiated CNC - the consent is that neither of them leave and they're in love' lol. The Wildness Within was the first ever fic where he introduced a safeword system, and I remember thinking 'canon Augus could never' lmao.

Gary really only has a safeword system so he doesn't get taken to court, because every single time he's had sex with alphas (including James a lot of the time), it was always dubious consent, and never 100% enthusiastic consent anyway. He would definitely honour a safeword, but like, if an alpha he picked up for the weekend used that safeword, he'd also feel low key pretty dismissive of them for it, like 'you wanted to sleep with a peak alpha, what the hell did you expect.' I doubt he'd say that, but he certainly wouldn't be sticking around to offer aftercare, so much as 'oh good, I'll leave then, call a friend or something. I'm going back to the club / pub to pick someone up who won't bail halfway through.'

I think he'd be much more likely to be compassionate/caring with a partner like James or Efnisien, but at the same time, I think he doesn't want a partner who's going to safeword a lot and he'd probably be not very attracted to them if they did x.x As Gary says to Efnisien in a later chapter:

‘I’ve been told it doesn’t feel very nice,’ Gary added. Then: ‘Sleeping with a peak alpha isn’t the same as sleeping with alphas or omegas or betas. We’re not…the same. It’s not just about having a knot, it’s not just about having a large cock, we need to be a controlling partner in a way that seeks to overwhelm. The only reason we can trust Augus with omegas is that he channels all his peak alpha urges into very experienced BDSM. He’ll use ropes and restraints where most of us will just fuck someone unconscious. So Augus can be around omegas, because he knows how to take their control without harming them. Most peak alphas are dangerous to be around anyone carnally. We are predisposed to ripping people’s consent away. The urge to rape and debase is built in.’

This is a dystopian universe with a rape/noncon warning, and the rape/noncon warning applies to Gary and Efnisien, because the dubious consent at times is extremely dubious.

It probably seems extreme, but I think the flip is so strong because Falling Falling Stars was trauma informed, consent focused, safeword celebratory, and probably the most consensual thing I've ever written in my life.

And it's not the only kind of story I enjoy writing. I started out writing serials that had no safewords at all, and it's often my preference, so... well now we have a kind of broad mix! :D

[icaruskey]

Hey I think you were a person I've seen dissect Serano's work pointing out the negative things said about trans mascs. I came across this post and while this quote seems positive toward trans mascs, stuff earlier in the article don't seem great but I'm worried I'm just hanging onto biases from her earlier work. Do you have thoughts?

https://at.tumblr.com/asterosian/704465315608870913/k1dj12qys9u7

Oof okay I have to admit I'm very biased against her, so reading this will be a challenge (also thanks, I think this is the kick I need to get back to reading Whipping Girl, knowing she's got another book out that may pertain to trans masculinity).

I'm gonna pull out some quotes from her article I feel pertinent to touch on, whether in agreement or not. This is gonna be long.

tl;dr She's still minimizing trans masculine issues, throwing AFAB folks under the bus, utilizing POC for her own end when she can, and is a hypocrite within the same page. And nonbinary folk don't exist.

So yeah, the coat of paint is new, but it doesn't really feel like her attitude towards nonbinary and masculine people have changed. And she tries to relabel rad fems as cultural fems. Which... no. Cultural feminism afaik has a totally different connotation now with lib fem than whatever it was in the 80's.

 Some of the insights that I uncover in Sexed Up are pertinent to the aforementioned “perpetually male privileged” claims levied against trans women. In addition, they also shed light onto why bisexual women are analogously dismissed as “perpetually heterosexual privileged” in some of these same settings.

But men aren't also dismissed as heterosexually privileged if they're bi/pan/aro/ace? This is speculative, but I do thing that there are probably a lot more bisexual men out there who don't know because they've been taught to reject their attraction towards men their entire lives... not unlike how women are taught the same but women are also more encouraged to be in touch with their emotions. Men aren't.

This is a nitpick admittedly. Of course she's gonna focus on women, like how I focus on men. But idk, if I was actually writing for a general audience, I'd want to be as even-handed as possible.

 I will also consider how said purity politics underlie recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.

Color me unexcited.

In Sexed Up, I discuss all these various forms of sexualization in depth and detail how they play out with regards to specific marginalized groups (e.g., people of color, people with disabilities, and LGBTQIA+ people, amongst others).

I'm highlighting this mostly because of my experience with Whipping Girl is ringing eerily similar to this article. Mainly in that Serano likes to reference work I don't have access to and just assumes she is right.

I'm thinking specifically on her assertations on Navajo gender identities and saying they are trans feminine actually (or something similar) and her source was like... another college educated white person who just so happened to be a dude. It's why I want to eventually go through my notes and read all her sources and do an annotated version of her book.

I just really don't trust her with identities outside of her own is what I'm saying. Maybe she's changed, but I don't have access to her new book atm, just this article (sorry I might read her other article she linked at the top later but not right now).

As an example, falsely smearing a marginalized individual as a “slut,” or “pervert,” or “faggot,” or “predator,” or “groomer” typically has little to do with finding them attractive and/or wanting to use them sexually, but has everything to do with invoking sexual stigma in order to defame, humiliate, or ostracize them.

I don't disagree with this bit. Though I'd throw off the word little because we can't know what's going on in someone's mind. It can be a complex mixture of it all in a gross, confusing slurry of unexpressed emotion.

This imagined “sexual corruption” is especially acute for minority women: If a billboard ad featured a white, cisgender, thin, able-bodied woman wearing a sexy outfit, many passersby wouldn’t even notice it, but if the model were Black, or transgender, or fat, or disabled, or some combination thereof, it might strike them as “sexually inappropriate.”

A really more straightforward example would've been porn stars. Actresses (esp white actresses) who have fucked black men tend to have lower prices attached to their work afterwards. I wish I remembered where I read that so I could link to it, but it's been awhile. And for me I think it makes sense logically. She's "corrupted" herself with another race or w/e. Stupid blatant racism but a very obvious example.

Even more obvious: the amount of women who get devalued for having an only fans and how their SO's are treated.

And if a person intentionally hurts or humiliates another person, we often call them a “dick.”

What does this have to do with penises being imbued with metaphysical powers in society?

While penises, and those who are attached to them, are not stigmatized themselves, they do seem to possess the ability to impart sexual stigma upon others. [Sexed Up, p. 164]

Once again, Serano cuts her own nose to spite her face. She tries to be even-handed while focusing on women, but as soon as she quotes her own work (hence the italics) we can see her laying down the blanket statement again.

Men are stigmatized for having sex. It's just not in the same way women are. And it's different depending on the specific sub-culture you're in. Sub-culture specifically because Serano, despite her claims otherwise, I will not believe is capable of looking past the US. That's my bias.

While a significant number of women commit acts of sexual violence, people tend to view these incidents as less serious and less harmful than similar acts committed by men — this is likely due to the imagined “lack of penis” required to initiate sex and to bestow sexual stigma upon the victim.

Oh good, I was worried she wouldn't talk about women committing acts of sexual violence.

For starters, gender and sexual minorities are often viewed as “sexually deviant” or “sexually deceptive” for our failure to comply with Predator/Prey’s roles and rules. As a result, people may view us as “marked by sex” — imbued with sexual stigma that others may fear they might “catch” from us, potentially being “turned queer” themselves in the process. 

I don't disagree again. It's a bit thing, and I think part of that fear in some people is actually repressed sexual or romantic or gender specific identities. It's scary to be confronted with something you thought was a fact but might not be... and for a lot of those people, if they soul searched they'd find themselves happy with their identity as it is.

Anyway a good recent example of what Serano is talking about here is ROGD --- rapid onset gender dysphoria. The thing that people claim is turning all the girls trans.

It also explains why so-called “lesbian porn” made by and for straight men is not considered threatening. This genre typically portrays two women kissing and fondling one another, but the “real sex” doesn’t start until the male protagonist shows up (with his penis) to pronounce “can I join you ladies?”

What the fuck porn are you watching Serano? When I look up lesbian porn, the only dicks involved are strap ons. And this isn't like. Specialty stuff. It's fucking free on pornhub and xnxx.

I realize I'm outing where I watch porn here but whatever. One day I can afford to pay decently.

Okay then there's some talk about how for bi men they're seen as gay and bi women as straight (nb/agender people not invited), some gold star lesbianism and how penises are seen as corrupting. Glad she's pointing out the penis hatred in lesbian circles (rad fems called out? nice).

Hm then something about how bi women in relationships with other women are uniquely targeted with heterosexual privilege which just doesn't smell right to me but I can't put my finger on why.

when people start wielding terms like “privilege” (or “socialization”) in non-nuanced ways — and especially when they frame these as perpetual statuses that are impervious to change — the concern they are raising has little (if anything) to do with actual oppression or marginalization.

Really Serano? Where's the "doubt" meme because

Go read the full thing here; it's infuriating. Basically, she's saying the rise in the use of TME/TMA as rigid labels is because trans male and masculine folks are upset that they're so overlooked and are pushing back on the fact trans women actually get highlight even in issues that uniquely affect us (the amount of times I heard people complaining trans women don't need ObGyn visits so why are we trying to bring up trans people...)

Also the bs that AFAB trans people highlighting the F in their AGAB means that trans women must also highlight the M in their AGAB... like Serano if that was true and we need to coin flip this bitch all the time, well, why do your adherents hate the term transandrophobia so much?*

*this is actually a lot more nuanced and if prompted, I'll go into a deeper dive on why one group trying to emphasize their marginalized status a certain way doesn't mean the coin flip group has to mimic their behavior in any way but not right now. But if you want to hear my thoughts, I beg you, send me an ask. I'll Go Off.

And in my experience, lesbians who are suspicious of trans women are usually suspicious of bi+ women as well, and vice versa. 

Name. Them. They're rad fems Serano. It won't hurt you to admit it.

Okay, she goes on a thing about cultural feminism. I'll bookmark that to read later I think. It's already 1:30. I've spent 30 minutes reading and responding after spending an hour trying to dethaw my lock to get inside after work.

Most radical feminists were careful to identify the male role rather than maleness as the problem. 

This is a quote pulled from the article Serano links about cultural feminism. I hate to tell Serano this (I don't) but this... things have fucking changed since the 1980's. Radical feminists now very much blame men for the problem, not just their maleness. That's why there's so much overlap with TERFS! They're literally rad ems!!!

Serano then goes on to talk about how they call themselves radical feminists and thus TERFs and it's like... what distinction are you trying to make here? This is worthless except to make me angry!

Cultural feminists sometimes collaborate with social conservatives and the far-right on certain issues — most notably, their anti-trans, anti-pornography, and anti-sex-work positions.

I don't understand her resistance to calling them radfems. They are radical feminists. Even if in the 1980's it was something different, it's been 40 fucking years. We didn't have smartphones or accessible cellphones back in the 80's. Get with the fucking program.

Blah blah stuff we already recognize about how radfems see trans women as inherently predatory and dangerous because they got penises. Nobody I know argues against that.

Okay yes, here we are talking about trans men.

Cultural feminist views of trans male/masculine people are more complex and varied. 

Yep, this is why we should have our own word, to better discuss these complexities separate from mere misogyny or transmisogyny. There's an inherent overlap with being once seen as a woman/girl and "choosing" to become more masculine, whether you're actually nonbinary or fully male.

Gender traitors, lesbians escaping the patriarchy, groomed by TRAs. Check, check, check. Irreversible Damage, oh that's an easy ---

And who is supposedly doing this “seducing”? Trans female/feminine people, of course. 

Do you here the tires of my brain screeching? I'm shocked my ears aren't bleeding. They actually popped. Just. Holy shit, the presumption.

What about ROGD Serano? The thing Irreversible Damage is about? The thing that "spreads" across "girl" groups? "AFAB" groups? Where are the trans women in this Serano? Do you want my ears to pop?

Okay, okay, five minutes and I've calmed down. I'll let Serano finish.

Another “gender critical” author, Kathleen Stock, has remarked that, “The autogynephilia tail is wagging the puberty-blocking dog,” adding that, “many of the loudest (partly because male) voices policing critical discussion of the treatment of ‘trans’ kids barely disguise their autogynephilia.”

Oh, so one other TERF author blamed it on the trans women. So because of that, you ignored other sources talking about it spreading across "girl" groups. As in AFAB. As in not trans women. Okay. My jaw does not hurt from clenching right now.

In their imaginations, “transgender” is a “sexually deviant and predatory man,” and “children” are conceptualized as safe, pure, and vulnerable “girls” who are in danger of being “corrupted” by a “male-borne” sexual “contagion.” It’s Predator/Prey thinking writ large.

Yeah, I wonder why the general public only think trans women exist (general public, not the public with young trans people coming out as their sons or daughters). It doesn't have anything to do with your hyper-visibility that trans men were complaining about and you defended those trying to shut them up with TME labels despite it going against what you wrote in this very article???

Here’s another way of framing this “gender critical”/cultural feminist perspective: Trans female/feminine people are viewed as inherently “contaminating” (we “corrupt” those we come into contact with), whereas trans male/masculine people are viewed as merely “contaminated” (i.e., they’ve been “corrupted” by someone else). As a result, the latter may be “redeemable,” at least to some extent or in certain cases. 

The emphasis (bold) is mine.

And here's the crux of my issue with Serano. She absolutely refuses to let go of the idea that trans women are not the most oppressed actually and there's a lot of give and take where sometimes trans women as a group might come out on top. Not that it matters in the long run because it all washes out compared to the cis world around us but she won't even entertain the idea. She has to make sure that we know that trans men and masculine people (in her view, AFAB people) aren't as oppressed as trans women/feminine people (in her view, AMAB people). And her putting masculine/male doesn't erase her total lack of a nonbinary perspective.

Cultural feminists also tend to view trans male/masculine people as relatively “safe” given that they are supposedly “innately female” and “lacking” the organ that imparts sexual stigma (and perpetrates sexual violence) upon other people.

This went with the above quote. I'm just pulling it out to show how she treats transandrophobia like its a good thing/privilege (but god forbid trans men act like trans women's visibility is a privilege because there's so many drawbacks---yeah like there is for being seen as "safe").

On the trans male/masculine spectrum, there can be a similar temptation to appease cultural feminists’ notions of “purity” and “safeness.” 

She also looks down on trans women who emphasize their post op status btw. She just really does not like hyper feminine trans women (see my videos where she complains about movies with hyper femme trans women), and she does not like trans men not entirely divorcing themselves from their AGAB. How dare we I guess?

Sorry that I was born and raised a girl and I still see my younger self as a girl. I'm not you Serano. I'm not going to act like my growth as a trans person is a model for everyone else and thus invalidate all nonbinary identities.

Whether intentional or not, these sorts of appeals tend to reinforce the idea that AMAB people (such as trans women and trans femmes) are indeed “dangerous” and should be excluded. 

Talking about trans men "playing up the F in AFAB" to access women spaces. Please someone send me an ask about this specifically so I have an excuse to go off tomorrow after work.

At the start of this essay, I brought up “recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.”

Okay awesome I'm ready. I'm not reading the linked article tonight, maybe I will if asked, but for now it's 2 AM.

So suffice it to say that some of the disagreements I’ve seen seem to stem from this imagined AFAB “vulnerability” and “safeness,” and imagined AMAB “contamination” and “dangerousness.”

Emphasis (bold) mine.

Imagined vulnerability.

Serano making me throw up in my mouth at 2 AM.

And as usual, it’s the supposedly “contaminated” group (in this case, trans female/feminine people) who gets accused of being “oppressive” in some way or other. 

Sure am glad that she chose not to go into specifics! Give us concrete examples please!

On more than one occasion, I have seen trans male/masculine people of color point out that this notion of “inherent AFAB safeness” is not generally extended to them.

But, notably, not the vulnerability. Just want to point that out. Trans MOC are just as vulnerable if not more so by fact of being men of color. White women hold so much power over them in public spaces.

It should be clear by this point that we must purge these cultural radical feminist frameworks from our minds. 

Fixed that for you. Stop trying to label them something new.

When you embrace the fact that the world sees you as “dirty” and “contaminated,” you make different art, and you gravitate toward different forms of activism.

I'm still not following links outside the article, but I don't disagree with this statement. You'll be seeing some of my own work related to this later next year.

'Being a freak] made me suspicious of appeals to “purity” and “safety” (after all, what feels “safe” to some people may in fact be “dangerous” to others). 

Would it surprise you Serano I have trouble feeling safe around women?

She also stops on the different art after talking about how in your face her poetry used to be. This is something else I really want someone to send me an ask about. I'm begging you.

[lavenoon]

For those of us who may want to write fics including Robin but are too nervous... Can we have some tips for how to characterize them? What are their vibes, are there some things to think of/remember when writing them?

I once described them as "tryhard, repressed trust issues, craves connection. aloof with anyone who poses a (perceived) threat to them, kind of awkward when not" (not on here, so no one needs to look gfhdj) but I'll go into a bit more detail!

First, I wanna state that while I left their family situation vague for self insert purposes, they way anything AU related is written, they aren't close with their family. The duplex is inherited, but they don't grieve the previous owner by the time they move in. I won't specify when this person died or who it was, as it's really just to set up the premise, and you can invent whatever for your purposes!

They're still distant, laying the groundwork for Robin's inevitable loneliness. They live alone, in a city they didn't grow up in, where they don't know anyone. When they first move in, they're excited for the possibilities! The world's their oyster and they sure are nonbinary (/ref), so they set out and explore. Happen to get scouted by a private intelligence firm, and hey, why not! (Better than getting in trouble for technically trespassing, oops).

They've always enjoyed spy movies and series, they do parkour, so of course they enjoy the secret agent life. They get a kick out of finding the craziest, most impressive way to do something - think macgyver in the sense that they like to work with what they have, but also kim possible in that they love highly specific gadgets too. Bonus points if personalized

With time, they start internalizing that enthusiasm more and more when it isn't met in kind by the people around them. That's when they start to withdraw socially, and the isolation really kicks in. After having their energy be met with scorn they start mistrusting people, refusing to really show themself, and stick more to the star agent role they earned. No one can take that from them, even if they make fun of their methods.

And so they lean into that, extremely so. They work hard, they aim higher and higher, until they feel like no one can take this success from them. But they also don't care to talk to anyone anymore, having been burnt too often, and they pretend they're fine with it, really.

Robin falls into a monotony, chasing after happiness at work because that's their only source for it, not realizing just how damaging this lifestyle is to them in the long run. They're completely isolated after years of this - and then they gain a rival, and a few short months later, a neighbor (and later, both <3)

With their rival, Robin is not on good terms before ever even speaking to him. There's a rookie, who after just a few short months gains such a reputation to be considered almost as good as them, after putting in years of work? They don't know him, and if he's another one of those stuck up idiots who ridicule them for what brings brought them joy, then they have no interest in humoring him, either. That's why they react with hostility, and take a while to warm up to their respective rival (mostly once they see his quirks, too. Dusk and his gimmick and playful attitude, Dawn and his flashy suits and flair for the dramatic). Then it's on (in Dusk's case. rip rival Dawn, you could've had it all) and they enjoy the banter and the races and the bets <3

With their neighbor they basically scramble for anything. "Nice person living next to me. My tenant? I don't know how landlords act there are no cool landlord movies. Uhhhh okay no neighbor is close enough. Offer eggs or sugar? Wait, animatronics don't eat. What do I do?" So they don't have any scripts for this situation, because they can't counter it with just polite small talk like you'd do with the cashier of the grocery store, or the aloof attitude they keep towards other agents, and those are the only types of socialization they get. They do try to be nice, and don't mean to overstep, but when faced with friendly, civilian contact? They crave that more than they even know, and get just a bit clingy among the awkwardness. It helps that their neighbor seems just as awkward, but in the end nice - so they feel reassured, and safe enough to continue trying, until they figure out again just how exactly friends work <3

[caintooth]

Just realized I’ve never actually shared the text from my top surgery fundraiser here, so:

Hi, my name is Ez Charlie Tadgh. (Mostly Charlie these days, but a lot of you still know me as Ez, which is fine, too!)

I’m writing today to ask for help in affording gender affirming top surgery.

To tell you a bit more about me: I’m a recent college graduate, a queer and autistic poet, an aspiring silversmith, hobbyist photographer, and an amateur chainmail weaver. In my free time I also enjoy playing video games and watching / talking about films. I'm currently raising a leopard gecko (her name is Poppy) and taking metalworking classes when life allows. My professional life is in the sex industry, as I am a customer service and sales representative for an online adult toy store.

Deciding to make this fundraiser has been a long time coming. Finally typing out the words feels surreal… For most of my life, even before having a name for my dysphoria, I’ve concealed the shape of my body in purposely ill-fitting shirts, and worn zip-up jackets even in dangerously hot weather to disguise the shape of my chest. I've spent years purposely manipulating my posture, intentionally hunching my shoulders to make my chest appear smaller. I've avoided hugs, kept my arms crossed over my front, practiced the exact way to stand in photos, all to try and make my chest seem flatter. Even wearing a binder has offered little relief- the compression of the traditional style does not agree with my asthma, and though TransTape allows me to breathe better (it feels like a literal weight off my shoulders!) it very easily triggers my sensory issues, and sometimes makes my psoriasis flair up under my breasts.

These practices aren't sustainable. They're damaging both my mental and physical health... This body IS the house I will live in for the rest of my life, y'know? I can't keep boarding up the walls, I can't keep fantasizing about moving. I need to make real renovations, so it can stop being just a place I live, and instead truly become my HOME.

So, yeah. I am finally at the point where I know I can't do this on my own anymore. Every day the need for this procedure becomes more clear and urgent in my mind.

Trans healthcare in this country is notoriously inaccessible, confusing, and expensive. I'm lucky to live within driving distance of Dr. Hope Sherie in Charlotte, NC, a surgeon who I have seen nothing but good reviews about, and who has been recommended to me by more than one trusted friend. However, my insurance will not cover this procedure, and I am regularly seeing $10,000 quoted as the amount for top surgery at Dr. Sherie's office. I have some money saved up towards that amount already, but it is only a small piece of the complete financial puzzle.

I have my first consultation with Dr. Sherie on May 1st, and plan to post an update with exact figures after that meeting. I have already paid $100 as deposit for this consultation, and will need to pay a non-refundable fee of $1,000 to reserve my surgery date, on the day it is selected. I will have to pay the rest of the surgery cost 3 weeks before the date of the surgery. (Should I need to reschedule during that final 3 weeks, I will have to pay a second, also non-refundable $1,000 deposit.) This is not even including the cost for any prescription medications, lab fees, post-op care materials, or other surgery-necessitated garments and binders for this procedure. Should I need any revisions after the initial procedure, the minimum fee would be $1,000.

I also need to consider the fact that I will have to take some time off of work for the surgery itself and the recovery period, thus losing at minimum 2 weeks pay (that's a full paycheck for me) and will need to buy extra food and health supplies for that period.

I don't want this surgery to feel like some sort of hardship I'm having to go through. I want it to be safe, I want to feel secure during this process, I want to know I'm not going to be stressed the entire time. That's what all of this is about, anyway:

Trying to achieve a state of comfort.

Anything you can do to help me towards this goal will receive my eternal gratitude and respect. I am constantly in awe of our community, and the level of support we can provide for one another. I feel grateful for even having the chance to ask for this sort of help. Thank you. I love y'all.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What are some things you think about a lot, more than most other things you think

I'm thinking about this right now, and it seems like the answer is "whether or not I am a good person." It's hard to put into words how much that bothers me. There are some people who seem to feel very confident in their own moral bona fides. But I just don't see myself as one of those people. Even though I know there are plenty of things I do well (both in terms of being nice and friendly toward other humans and also just in terms of general life competence) . . . there is always something that looks bad when you look at yourself. And even if you try really hard to fix your flaws, they keep coming back; so you have this sense of having been through cycles of self-improvement and then regression, over and over again, for years on end. At least it feels that way to me, but maybe others experience this less acutely? [EDIT: actually, after writing all this, I think there may be more than two options here -- either people genuinely feel good about themselves, which means they never notice all these flaws, or else they mostly notice them, but can somehow find ways to cope with them without getting too depressed.]

This sounds pathetic and whiny, but it's really true! Some of my friends have told me that I often come off as arrogant or conceited because I tend to talk about what I believe in strongly, and that makes it sound like I don't care what anyone else thinks. And while that's probably true, I feel terrible when people tell me this. Especially since my strongest opinions aren't on subjects where there's any real controversy anyway. They're usually about stuff no one cares about, or issues everyone agrees upon, or a weird mix of both. So it seems like my only excuse would be that I'm an idiot who doesn't realize he has nothing interesting to say, except that I do get some positive feedback from time to time, so I guess I must really be that big an idiot. Or I could try to become someone whose beliefs line up perfectly with the prevailing wisdom, thereby becoming uninterestingly conventional. Which would be bad enough, but worse still would be to have a reputation as a screwup among people who think conventionally. Not sure why I haven't done anything like that yet. Maybe I've tried, and failed, because I simply cannot stop talking about myself. That was probably what made college so torturous -- I spent most of my social interactions trying to figure out whether I had said something stupid or insulting, or if it was just that my conversational partners were awkward/unwilling to make conversation. I didn't want to ask them directly whether they disliked me or thought I was dumb, because I wanted to maintain plausible deniability. In hindsight, I wish I had asked straight out whether I seemed annoying or anything. Then again, I wouldn't trust anyone's answers to such questions, given the times I misread intentions and ended up saying something wrong.

Anyway, I should clarify that this isn't really a complaint post. Just an observation about a pattern that runs throughout my life. My natural state is to feel like a loser, and every once in a while this feeling becomes intense enough to cause pain and grief, but basically this is normalcy for me, in the same way that walking