#the trust issues aren't towards you they're mostly towards me and

[ashersbraincell]

When you've caught yourself looking at pictures and videos of the good times and you feel like you miss them(because you fucking do) but you know there's no way of going back. They're open to it, sure. But you're not. Because it literally cannot work out and you would only prolong the inevitable process of drifting.

But fucking damn it I just want my pookies back. My sillies back. But I know that they care much about the relationship than I do. I've built up this twisted, twisted overblown idea of how deeply connected we are when we're just. Not? We barely vent to one another, and when we do the conversations were very surface level. There was no deeper connection there. But oh how I'd fooled myself there was.

And then my stupid ass gets upset over a betrayal that there wasn't even anything to get betrayed OVER. I felt ghosted but I literally wasn't, that was just how much we interacted in general and I felt it more deeply because of my crumbling mental state. I miss something that never even existed(/stopped existing a while ago for my bsf atleast)

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 09: do you like sweets?

You are fully self-aware that you have delusional tendencies, but you know yourself well enough to think that you weren't that far gone yet to the point that you will start seeing your long distance crush right in front of you.

He's probably real.

Taking notice of your presence, Scaramouche then turned towards you. His face was hard to read, other hand holding his phone and the other inside the pockets of his denim pants. His oversized black shirt was tucked, highlighting his good figure.

'Holy. He's got good style too,' you thought. It was simple, yes. But he carries outfits so damn well.

But what is he even doing here in your uni?

Since an eye contact has already been made, you flashed a sheepish smile and a light wave. Your loud personality online was such a huge contrast in comparison to how you're actually behaving now.

He just stared. 'Oh. So he's the cold type. God, he's exactly my type.'

"Aren't you going in?" You snapped out of your musings upon hearing his voice.

"I was about to. I'm starving," you chuckled. He scoffed. "I could use a bit of food, too."

"We should eat at the birthday party then."

"Kazuha's?"

You nod.

He looked away. "Go and eat inside. I'll find another place to eat at."

You flashed a look of disbelief. Scaramouche raised a brow in confusion. "Dude, you're literally already at a restaurant and you still want to go somewhere else to eat?"

"And you're hungry, aren't you?"

He sighed. "Look, I don't know if you know this, but the one holding a party — well, we're not on the best of terms."

Oh. Yeah.

There's that thing.

How the fuck could you forget that the love of your life is from the rival of your brother's team?

"Ah," You nod again. He seemed to take it as you understanding his reasoning and turned the other way, attempting to head off.

If only you hadn't tugged at his shirt.

"What the?!"

You led him to a lone bench at the parking lot, lit warmly by the streetlight just directly above it. "Sit there and wait for me."

"Excuse me?" He hissed. "What am I? A dog?"

"Your words, not mine." You grinned. "Just do as I say, okay? It won't be long, I promise."

He was about to retort but you cut him off by hurriedly entering the lively restaurant.

When you got back, you easily spotted Scaramouche who was sitting comfortably on the bench where you left him. He immediately scooted over once he saw you.

"Wow," he remarked. "You know I actually doubted if you would even come back."

You chuckled as you sat and handed him his plate. "Do you have trust issues?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, so you do."

He rolled his eyes.

Your late dinner with him was mostly filled with a comforting silence, with some bits of small talk in between. The only ones left on your plate were delectable desserts, as well as the little pieces of food you left out.

"Do you like sweets?"

"No," Scaramouche speedily replied. "They're disgusting."

You subconsciously frown. "Shame. I like them."

"You can have mine then," he says as he picks up his portion of desserts and transfers them to your plate. Unbeknownst to you, his observant gaze failed to miss how your eyes sparkled in delight at the sight of mouthwatering sweets.

As he did so, Scaramouche also spotted some leftovers on your plate. "Do you not like bitter stuff?"

"My tongue can't handle them."

"Give it to me then instead of wasting food, idiot."

You let out a laugh. "Is that your way of saying you like bitter stuff?"

The man just let out a quiet "tch" before taking a bite.

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

previous . masterlist . next

SUMMARY —you find plenty of guys around you attractive, but there is only one you’re willing to make the first move on: the guy you first saw during your older brother’s soccer game. spoiler: he's a player from your rival university.

NOTES -> a lot has happened lmaoo i was so busy aaa -> i graduated hs finally :P -> i also submitted my requirements for college haha -> also can u guys believe i'm gonna be in college while my college smau is on going omg -> and apologies for ghosting HASDHADHA (also wtf fontaine livestream tomorrow already whaaat time flies so fast omg)

TAGLIST I (closed)

@lady-elodie @krnzysh @syriiina @unsterblich-prinz @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @lowkeyivorie @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks

[yanderes-galore]

I see nothing for Demon Slayer yet so maybe a platonic concept of Tanjiro and Nezuko with their sibling Darling? They can be human or a demon like their sister, either way is fine, thank you! :)

I can do a concept with this, sure! This is mostly just me dropping small HCs and ideas like usual, hope you enjoy :) It's a bit short as I only had one big idea in mind and struggled on how to flesh it out? They're pretty docile (for the most part).

Yandere! Platonic! Tanjiro + Nezuko with Sibling! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Violence, Isolation, Murder implied, Blood, Clingy behavior, Gaslighting in one line, Smothering siblings.

Regardless on if you're human or a demon the two are incredibly protective of you.

You, Tanjiro, and Nezuko are the only surviving members of your family.

As a result you three are very close.

You've all been through enough.

It's not like your two siblings are weak, either.

Tanjiro is a Demon Slayer and Nezuko is a demon with flaming blood.

They are more than capable of protecting you, really.

As expected of the siblings they rarely leave your side.

During the day Tanjiro helps to protect you.

Meanwhile during the night Nezuko steps in to help too.

When it comes to platonic yandere siblings they primarily act isolating and protective.

They aren't cruel though.

Just... smothering.

Tanjiro is incredibly caring towards you and his sister.

He always asks about how you're doing and is very understanding if something is bothering you.

Nezuko is protective and clingy to you, often grabbing at you for affection while making small noises.

She loves you just as much as Tanjiro does and feels happy/calm when you're around.

The two do their best to help provide for you and care for you.

They even try to keep you out of trouble when they can.

Even if you can hold your own as a Slayer or demon, the two would rather keep you out of demon fights.

When you insist you can help, Tanjiro is adamant on you staying out of it and Nezuko appears very worried.

The two are hard to hate/resent.

They mean well... but that's no excuse for isolation, is it?

The two would never hurt you thankfully.

No, they mean to give you the best care they can offer as you are a trio.

It's just they tend to no allow outsiders around you and get rather violent when demons come into the picture.

Tanjiro and Nezuko are fine when someone they trust interacts with you like Inosuke and Zenitsu.

Yet there's certainly a line.

The moment someone starts thinking they can flirt with you or pry you away from them?

Then they step in.

Tanjiro is usually really calm and kind.

Although... he's still capable of anger... and that cold glare of his is a warning.

He finds it quite rude that someone can just waltz in and act such a way with his sibling.

How sleazy.

Nezuko is a similar way, the normally cute demon snarling when you show slight discomfort.

The two don't like forcing you to do things.

They want you happy as your siblings, yet they do make an effort to be the only ones you interact with half the time.

If not all the time....

The two are primarily harmless if not suffocating.

They don't usually like to use lethal force to get what they want.

They're both primarily ones for manipulation, often deciding to guilt you into listening to them as your siblings.

Lethal force is strictly deserved towards demons/people attacking you.

But most who aren't demons know better.

Your two siblings feel more like bodyguards at times.

They're overprotective and judging of those around you.

Yet if there is no issues the two go back to being your caring siblings.

It's probably a good thing these two are primarily docile as long as they have you beside them.

The last thing you need is to witness Tanjiro and Nezuko covered in the blood of... someone for daring to take you away from them.

Things only ever go downhill when the two fear they can lose you.

As I mentioned before, if you planned on running off with someone the two aren't standing for it.

In their eyes the only family and comfort you'll ever need is with them.

Why would you want to leave your only siblings anyways?

Why do you blame them for locking you away from everyone else?

They're just being good siblings!

All you need to do is relax and let them hold you... everything will be okay, won't it?

You never saw them harm anyone... it's just in your head.

They promise they'll protect and care for you as family should...

Just as long as you don't leave them for someone else.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Amanda the Adventurer Mouse OC

Based on @madameinfinitehearts 's theory about a new third character being added in by Hameln in the third game (and that character potentially being a mouse based on the Hameln mascot) I got inspired to draw my own take on that idea.

Later when it's just Amanda and Wooly:

Wooly: I don't think we should trust her.

Amanda (sarcastically): Oh really? Whatever gave you THAT impression

Wooly: I mean, they're adding a new character after all this time? Plus, look at her ears… don't they seem… familiar?

Amanda: Yeah their the same ears as the Hameln logo you dummy.

Wooly: whispering Excatly.

Amanda: So? I thought you LIKED Hameln

Wooly: Well…

Piper: Whatcha talking about?

Summary of character:

Yes, her name is Piper. Yes based on the Piped Piper of Hameln. Too on the nose or is it perfect? (It was all I could think of tbh). She's around the age of 15-19 years old. She's very girly and takes on a babysitter/big sister role toward Amanda and Wooly, keeping them on script and such.

Original description in the reblog I made:

Honestly, I think a mouse might be more fitting, especially one in the same cartoony artstyle as Amanda and Wooly. If Hameln did add in a new character, they'd have to be as unsuspicious as possible. When designing her, I decided to give her ears that mirrored the Hameln logo, which would be a hint to where her loyalty lies. The ears kind of looked like a bow to me since I decided to give her this extremely feminine personality that would parallel Amanda's tomboyishness. I was going for teenage babysitter vibe for the personality, like she's supposed to keep a super-close eye on them and prevent them from talking about Hameln or their situation any further, get them back on script, and make them forget all over again.

Hameln probably has other children under contract, and this could be one of them. An older teen actor (I'm thinking 15-18) who has been fully brainwashed by the cult and has complete loyalty to them. Their oldest and most loyal actor

Now she'd probably not end up saying directly that she had always wanted to be a part of their hit show (mostly cuz she wants the spotlight) because that would be a dead giveaway. Or she could be a bit ditzy at times, giving Amanda and Wooly small moments to meet up or sharing valuable information by accident.

She's supposed to be a role-model/big sister figure to Amanda. Thats the main reason I gave her hair because I could imagine them doing hair and having girl talks (where she'd coax information out of Amanda but it won't work because Amanda has big trust issues). Also, skirts aren't typically adventure clothes, which would make her seem more off.

[nekropsii]

…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

[molsno]

this is kind of random but do you ever feel like people treat transmisogyny as a lesbian-specific problem, and if so, does it bother you as a trans lesbian? i don’t really mean general criticisms of transmisogyny within lesbian spaces, but rather people who seem to talk about transmisogyny like lesbians *specifically* perpetrate it the most, or are more capable of perpetrating it than anyone. i feel like this has become a popular trend in queer discourse (usually from tme non-lesbian ppl) to demonize or ‘other’ lesbians, & i think it extends from contempt toward “man-hating lesbians” but lumping trans girls under “men” to legitimize it, but i don’t know if i just notice it more because i’m tme, and i don’t want to overstep or make anyone feel like I’m discouraging discussions of transmisogyny by saying this isn’t a lesbian-exclusive issue. i know the ‘political lesbian’ movement was predominantly driven by straight cis women (and a smaller but non-zero number of cis bi and lesbian women) who laid a lot of groundwork for associating bioessentialism with lesbianism but is it unfair to say “lesbians aren’t an essentialist hate group and shouldn’t be generalized/singled out”? like is this a trend you’ve noticed as a tma lesbian, or am i looking at this through a misguided lens? sorry for rambling on, feel free to ignore and i hope your night/day is going well <3

I think that definitely happens to an extent, but that's mostly because tme non-lesbians believe in lesbophobic stereotypes that lesbians are more likely to be terfs and that most terfs are lesbians. it definitely bothers me as a lesbian, because not even being trans exempts me from these stereotypes. I've literally had one of my former best friends tell me they didn't trust lesbians, including me, because terfs invalidated their gender as a nonbinary person. like. it's vile.

so yeah, I think it's fair to ask people not to generalize about lesbians, but at the same time, I've also seen firsthand, many times, that transmisogyny is still prevalent among tme lesbians. the critiques tme non-lesbians make are mostly just blatant lesbophobia (and transmisogyny by assuming lesbians are talking about trans women when they say men), but over time I've become increasingly disillusioned by tme lesbians after seeing just how willing they are to throw tma lesbians under the bus. as just one example, a few months ago, there was this bi lesbian blocklist that was going around on here, and regardless of your feelings on that particular topic, the fact of the matter is that almost every single person on that list was transfem. trans women who have never identified as bi lesbians or even said anything publicly about bi lesbians (including several of my close friends) wound up on that list for seemingly no reason, and found themselves blocked by most of the tme lesbians on this website. you would think that people who put "tme" in their bios and reblog posts about transmisogyny would at least make an effort to stop and think about the implications of this, but it turns out that a sizable number of tme lesbians will exile a bunch of trans women from their community based on blind accusations of them being predatory men invading the lesbian community without a second thought.

that being said, the behaviors I just described aren't really unique to tme lesbians either. tme people of all genders and orientations have been doing the exact same things for decades. so what I'm saying is, although I don't think it's fair to generalize or single out lesbians as being particularly transmisogynistic, that doesn't mean tme lesbians should be pretending that they're incapable of transmisogyny and insisting they don't need to hold each other accountable for perpetrating it.

[raayllum]

I remember starting the show because my friend told me about Callum and Rayla and how cute they were together. But after binge watching all 5 seasons, I just feel like the writers don’t really give a damn about them, in many ways, compared to other couples. But, to be fair, I have lots of issue with the writing. But, to me, the primary idea was to make Callum and Claudia a couple (no, I don’t ship them together), because they actually have a background, development, even chemistry too. So, I don’t understand why the writers changed their minds on this (please, tell me if they ever addressed this issue). I just think that him moving on from a childhood love, like that, out of nowhere to Raylla was again a bit odd and out of nowhere. Because nothing indicated that in the first 2 seasons. Same goes to Rayla too. And, in S5 they have acted more as friends than anything else. It’s just weird. What’s your opinion about this? And again, I don’t ship Callum with Claudia, it’s just my opinion after watching all seasons.

Thank you for sharing your feelings, I definitely have been in fandoms where the Big Ship (canon or fanon, in show or in fandom) have just not been things I could click or with or understand, so you have my sympathies. The crew has gone on record saying that Callum and Rayla being a couple was not originally the plan (we don't know if there were any endgames being considered for either of them as alternatives, but I lean toward no) with Janaya and Ruthari presumably being the main couples. This changed in 2x04 with the lightning flash and moment the two share on the boat, "everyone in the room saw it" (legit quote from showrunner) and they began to write and develop it. It is unknown if they went back to add or shift anything in S1 (we know the crew works on seasons simultaneously) but it wouldn't surprise me given the vibes

I definitely can't promise to change your mind (I'm obviously a big Rayllum shipper and I have been since S1, so I'm clearly coming at it from a different perspective) but I do have some metas that do address what you've brought up, I'm gonna link them below and then do a quick summary in case you understandably don't wanna read all that!

Rayllum and Loneliness (Post S3): a meta about how it is likely (now confirmed in supplementary material) that Rayla grew up pretty friendless and a deeper dive into how Rayla is/was the first person Callum had who was unequivocally his peer and his friend (as Soren bullied and Callum's crush - as well as other things - made him and Claudia have a fair amount of distance.)

Callum and Claudia: You Already Did (Post S3): On what appeal the ship has, why it may not appeal to others, and why I don't think Callum and Claudia were actually that close pre-S1, the various factors why, and why they were doomed to fall apart since 1x02.

How/Why Callum's feelings for Claudia and Rayla Were Overlapping (Post-S3): Exactly what it says on the tin, mostly because he is obsessed with Rayla lowkey in S1 (trying to get her to laugh three times in 1x05, taking a flirty tone with her when they aren't arguing in 1x06, etc) and then outright devoted in S2, trusting her over Claudia in 2x03.

Rebuttals to Rayllum Reservations (Claudia, Pacing, Etc) Post-S3: Pacing, emotional intimacy, platonic development and romantic feelings, etc. Probably the simplest meta and the most on brand for what you're (presumably) looking for, but the other metas I think uh do contribute nicely to explaining why Rayllum is what it is and som of the reasons it appeals to people.

It's also honestly not surprising to me that in S5 they just feel like Friends (hopefully best friends) given that a decent chunk of the Rayllum fandom, myself included, are on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums, and don't really care if they're Romantic as long as they're Life Partners. (Aspec Rayllum tag here) Callum and Ezran are two of the, if not the, most important people in Rayla's life, and Rayla and Ezran are two of the most important people in Callum's life. To me, romance / devotion / whatever you want to call it intermingling makes sense. One of the things I've loved most about S4-S5 is the fact that whatever they are, they have each other's backs, and they care for and protect each other, no romance required, which hits different since they do both also have romantic feelings for each other. It's just not a pre-requisite for them and a lack of it is never something they'd hold against one another. In other words:

Chemistry is also something that's hard to pin down sometimes - like all shipping preferences are subjective, but evaluations of chemistry tend to be in particular (for example, I don't really think Callum and Claudia have chemistry in that way, but that doesn't mean that they can't or they don't).

That said: platonic Rayllum tag here and foils Rayllum tag here, and I hope whatever parts of the show you do enjoy, well, give you joy.

[the5n00k]

Scratch in Scratch the Surface vs I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie

[[[spoilers for season 2]]]

Long post sorry

I've been comparing these two episodes a lot, especially after the song Ghosts Aren't the Enemy from Book Marks the Sprite reminding me SO much of Lose-Lose from season 1. The conflicts are pretty similar, Molly has to keep someone from finding out about Scratch because of real and disastrous consequences, although instead of the flow of failed phantoms, this season it's the ghost chaser Chens. They aren't directly comparable since the contexts are different (Libby is a close friend and Ollie is a romantic interest) ((I'M SPEAKING CANONICALLY DON'T KILL ME SHIPPERS)) and the plot of Some-Ollie isn't really "hide Scratch" it's more focused on Molly and Ollie's relationship and how Scratch is reacting to it. Speaking of which:

Scratch's reaction to Molly's concerns about Libby is very dismissive. He doesn't really care about her and he's not super invested in Molly's personal problems either. The only times he's helped her out (at this point in the series) is when it personally affects him or he feels familiar pity for her. (First Day Frights and The Best Concert Ever are good examples of this) He's not completely won over by her antics yet. And while he is concerned for her wellbeing at this point, it's more like the sort of concern and worry you feel when you see somebody who's clearly not gonna be able to make the entire 5k run. Like you're worried but it's better if you just don't get involved. Baseline empathy, really

He does start cracking when Molly asks if she can tell Libby because she's misinterpreting the situation. Even during this, Molly doesn't break Scratch's trust and doesn't outright tell her without asking first. Knowing what we know about Scratch now, I think he's always had a soft spot for friendships and hates seeing them end, even subconsciously. He smiles as Molly runs away to catch up with Libby but he's still not happy about it. Yeah he warms up to Libby but telling anyone about him is a potential danger, especially if they feel the need to tell anyone else.

And in Friend-Off, he didn't really have a justifiable reason to be a jerk to Libby other than Molly's scavenger hunt they were both forced to do. Everything he said (both of them said really) was out of a place of pure jealousy. He even admits that at the end of the episode.

What's important to point out is this entire episode he's only thinking about himself (not an uncommon trend for this character) and is only willing to sacrifice when pushed to do so. Not saying he's necessarily written badly in this episode, far from it, but it is quite a contrast between that and his actions in the season 2 episode 5a segment I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie.

I'd like to preface this with one of the scrapped titles for this ep was "Molly's Choice" and I think that will haunt me till I die that's such an evil title

I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie is a VERY compelling episode. While the set up for it and Scratch the Surface is similar, this one feels like it has more stakes involved. Molly has a crush on Oliver Chen, a ghost hunter, and you can see how that could immediately cause issues. Scratch is even more dismissive towards Molly at points because of this, even colder and snappier than some of season 1a in my opinion. (For good reason obviously) and while Scratch's concerns here are mostly fear for his own safety, it's also jealousy. If he was so worried about Ollie catching him, he wouldn't be around him at all, let alone trying to sabotage the dance.

Molly doesn't take the threat the Chens pose very seriously and dismisses most of Scratch's concerns. (Not that she's a bad friend for this, she just thinks they're silly YouTubers and wants to enjoy a middle school dance) Scratch eventually blows up on her and they get into a rather brutal argument for an episode 5 of a DTVA show. It's presented in the usual silly way but they both say some rather insensitive things to each other in the heat of the moment.

We've NEVER seen them disagree this hard on anything. They've had differing opinions before but neither of them is budging on this one. They split off and you can see what Molly said to him hurt. She seemingly chose what was more important to her. He seemed to look back as if he was debating on going back in to apologize to her for what he said and did too because she just wants to have a good time and he was trying to ruin that. But he decides he's the last thing she needs right now and starts to go home, only to get caught in a spectral snare.

Here's the REALLY important part I need y'all to listen closely:

He had every right to an "I told you so". He had every right to tell her never to see Ollie again and to even consider moving just to save his metaphorical skin. But he doesn't. She apologizes first and he interjects with his own apology for trying to ruin her night. Her happiness is what's most important to him now. That priority shift happened since Out of House and Home, maybe arguably even sooner. He doesn't tell her never to see him again, in fact he IMPLIES that she should be able to do what she wants and he wouldn't interfere anymore. It was Molly's choice to cut it off with Ollie after seeing Scratch in that much danger.

He's still a self centered jerk with possessive tendencies and separation anxiety but it's important to point out that he recognizes Molly as her own person and he shouldn't interfere with her happiness. I think season 1a Scratch wouldn't have even LET her go to the dance with a ghost hunter as her co-chair to begin with. I know I don't need to defend Scratch's actions since most people are on his side in this episode (a weird change of pace) but I needed to get my thoughts out about him and his development so far. My boy has come so far, they feel like good, real friends. Also I'm just gonna reiterate Molly wasn't completely at fault here because she just wanted to enjoy the dance and both her and Scratch had equal fault in this scenario, that's called ✨good writing✨, you don't have to pick a side. THE WORLD ISN'T BLACK AND WHITE, OLLIE

I hope they address Scratch's jealous nature in a future episode, especially since they're hinting towards an Ollie redemption. After the ghost hunting fear is gone, that jealousy is gonna still be there, I'm kind of hoping after that talk outside of the school where Scratch resigned himself to whatever Molly wanted to do, he wouldn't be too jealous of him and we won't have a Friend-Off 2 or something. (Although if he decides to be a little petty and messes with Ollie a little, I welcome that. That sounds really funny honestly)

I feel like halfway through this I just started rambling, I hope my point made it across clearly LOL tldr; scratch is a well written character and he means so much to me and if I see any Molly/Ollie/Mollie slander on my account I will be throwing hands <3

[shirefantasies]

Hello! I’m new to Tumblr, your blog was one of the first I found and followed! I was wondering if you could match/ship/pair me with an LotR character! Specifically LotR if you end up getting around to me, please!

I’m 5’3” with dark hair, though I keep it shaven in a buzz cut style. I’m pansexual, so you can ship me with anyone. I’m also autistic and possibly ADHD and OCD. Still learning about myself and trying to get diagnoses and people that understand me.

Moving on! I’m rather goofy! I’ve got a silly, meme-like side to me that I have trouble restraining. I’ll constantly see references to memes/obscure things I like everywhere and always point them out. I also make random noises and jokes that only those close to me will understand or be able to interpret the meaning of. I’m a good listener, and always try to help solve problems, though I may not be too good at getting the end result where it needs to be. Hahaha! I like to cuddle people, though I’m a little picky with touch because of sensory issues.

As for the other side of me, I am very paranoid, and have anxiety, severe depression, and PTSD, so it’s hard for me to trust people. I’m introverted, too. I always have been but ever since the trauma that caused my mental health issues I’ve become extremely introverted, almost in a comical way. I have some self-hate based behaviors towards myself that I’m working on unlearning. I constantly need reminded to take care of myself, and will have unexpected breakdowns, depression lows, or flashbacks. There are things or actions that will upset/trigger me that may need to be avoided. It’s rough but I still try my best to please everyone.

I hope that’s enough, if it’s not you can always contact me directly for more info or with questions! Thanks for considering!

Well that’s such an honor! Glad to be an early addition to your tumblr family 🥰 heck yeah you can have a lord of the rings character, and I hope you like being a hobbit because because I ship you with…

Pippin!

Sometimes it feels like no one understands him. So when Pippin hears tales of some far-off hermit, he feels a strange kinship with them immediately knowing only that they are the subject of talk, too. Maybe they’ve disappointed people with ways they cannot help, too. Pippin, though, could never run away from people- he loves them too much, enough to try again and again until he gets it right. He doesn’t know why he is the way he is, after all. He just is. Isn't everybody?

He gets lost one day, lost further out in the edges of the hills then he's been yet. Not quite far enough to be frightened, but just enough to see the waning of the hobbit-holes and the thinning of the Shire's green hills. It isn't until the sun descends that he truly gets concerned, rushing to the nearest hole he finds and ringing the bell dangling by its big round door. You answer, looking quite puzzled and not entirely unafraid of the stranger before you. What do you say? "Er, can I help you?" "Well," he begins, "I'm lost, you see. Can I trouble you to stay the night before I return to the road?" Silence overtakes you, ponderance, glances this way and that, before you finally nod and bid him entry. "You've not come to report to the others, have you now?" "I beg your pardon?" "Back in town. All the rumors. Part of why I avoid it, not that it helps them," you shake your head. That is when Pippin realizes he's found his kindred hermit, and you are nothing like he imagined. Contrary to the stories, he thinks there's something about you that looks...friendly.

"You're the-!" Barely resisting the urge to exclaim 'hermit', Pippin glances around your mostly quite normal hobbit hole. "Erm, I always wondered why they told all those stories." "Because they're a fat lot of gossips, that's why," you shoot back, shuffling through your kitchen, "they aren't exactly the champions of anyone who's...different." "That I know," Pippin responds with a nod, voice going a bit quiet. His words have you turning around, peering at him like you've only just seen him. "I see. Well, want anything?" In the end, you share some of your dinner with this stranger, who tells you his name is Peregrin Took, more frequently called Pippin. Pippin doesn't mock the sounds you make, in fact you notice that he seems to find himself mimicking them. As you go through the evening's motions, he doesn't seem to mind that you have your way of doing things. When something you see reminds you of a song you made up, you can't help but sing it, and soon Pippin is joining along. You even make up a song together. When he leaves, you find yourself saying something very uncharacteristic: "If you ever want to come back, well, I'll be here." Something in his smile, the way he nods, has you feeling strangely hopeful.

Come back he does, and sing more songs to and with you in that beautiful voice he does. You're ready for him to recoil, to pack up and leave you behind like everyone else does when he catches a nightmare turning to a breakdown, but as he peers in the doorway he simply asks if he can touch you, hold your hand or even you. When he stays, helps you with breakfast and cheers at your smile, twirling you across the kitchen, well, you can't help feeling a rare peace at your little paradise getting a bit bigger.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[formicarum-rex]

ive been on cohost on-and-off since november, and i think im going to stick with it (famous last words, i know, but i am genuinely enjoying my time there, meeting some nice people and enjoying the posts that come across my dash)

home page

my blog

general observations, differences between here and tumblr (both good and bad), and caveats under the cut

the ability to use html and css in posts is fantastic, and while i do sometimes miss being able to change the formatting with a simple highlight like on tumblr, the added abilities to customize more than makes up for that. i've only used it a bit myself, but plan to use it more going forward, and you can get some fantastic shitposts on your dash because of this. note that only posts are hyper-customizable. blogs themselves aren't as customizable as on tumblr (think the default/mobile theme here)

i think their pro-privacy, anti-algorithm, anti-numbers philosophy is admirable. it's not perfect-- funding is a continual trouble, although they have plans for making it sustainable.

as with all smaller websites, it is a bit of an echo-chamber and has its share of drama and controversy.

the fewer number of people also lead to there being fewer good posts than on here, especially if you have niche interests, but my dash is still quite active, and i have to check it at least once a day to keep up-to-date.

if you edit your original post, all reblogged versions of the post are updated as well.

it has a comprehensive cw system built into posts, more reminiscent of mastodon than tumblr. there is discourse about its use or over-use, but on the whole i think this is a big improvement.

i (thankfully) haven't run into anybody or any post that required blocking or silencing or muting yet, but the options are there and thorough.

related, there is a no-nonsense attitude towards bigotry. i havent run into any bad eggs myself, but from what i've been given to understand they are sniped more or less as soon as they're discovered. there may be moderation issues as the website expands (this is one issue where places split up into smaller groups like mastodon have benefits) but as of right now, it seems to be working just fine, and better than tumblr.

there's no general within-post search for the sake of privacy and to limit harassment opportunities, but unlike tumblr, the tag search is functional. in addition, all posts with tags you've bookmarked show up in a separate, single tab on your dash, in proper chronological, non-algo'd order, which is a good way to discover new people to follow and posts to reblog. this is similar to "your tags" on tumblr, but unlike tumblr, i trust it to work

i haven't used this yet, but sideblogs are able to comment, ask, like, follow, etc, separately. no more "follows from [main url]"

in general, i like the vibes better than pillowfort, the other tumblr replacement site, and its a much more satisfying tumblr replacement than mastodon, because, well, its not like twitter (although i do like mastodon for other reasons).

there are some odd things that differentiate it from tumblr that you have to get used to at best, and can be extremely frustrating at worst:

notes cant be viewed per-post. they're all under your notification tab, chronologically listed. this hasnt been a problem for me, but i understand that this can get messy if you have a lot of followers/notes

if you are not OP, you cannot view others' reblogs. i've found that this is mostly fine, but it does mean you cant dive into the notes to see if anyone has added anything you'd like to reblog instead of the version on your dash. changing this is one of the most requested features. it doesn't seem to conflict with the site's anti-numbers ideals as long as it only lists contentful reblogs (those with additions), so i'm hopeful it will be added.

OP is not notified of tags on reblogs. all comments that are towards OP and not towards your followers belong in the comments. unlike other things in this list, this isn't a downside so much as a neutral difference that has taken me a long time to get used to.

the comments are generally important. reblog chains are still used, but comments (replies) are more functional than they are on tumblr, with proper ability to reply in comment threads and a better UI. they are used more often on cohost than on here, especially if you want to start a convo with OP and others viewing the post. as far as i can tell, everyone can see every comment, unlike the reblogs.

photoset layouts are not as flexible as on tumblr

no DMs

discovery hasn't been a big issue for me as someone who is primarily a reader/viewer (if anything, the functional tagging system and unified bookmarked tags tab makes it easier), but ive heard that for creators it can be frustrating

i am under the impression that pillowfort is the place to go for specifically fandom posting. more fandom people have been joining cohost though, especially since a bunch of tumblr people joined a couple weeks ago.

i realize this isn't exactly a hard sell, but want people to be aware of potential downsides before creating an account. despite these things, i really do urge you to check it out if youre interested! it's a good place :)

[not-poignant]

Hi, I found you through Eversion and I'm now loving UTB, and I read TWW in between updates and it was great too! (Was weird reading UTB and TWW simultaneously considering the opposite Ef&Gwyn dynamics but I did that to myself lol.) I have 2 random UTB questions!

1. I was surprised Polly didn't react to Gary's Big Stinky!! Can dogs not smell human pheromones at all (and e.g. learn to associate certain smells w certain states/behaviors in their owners), or is Polly just... Polly? This got me wondering about unique service dog applications in UTB-verse, like alerting to oncoming corrupted heats or rages or PACS flare-ups, or the smell of fear as a cue to do a task. (Real dogs can detect stuff like high/low blood sugar or oncoming seizures, dogs are so cool.)

2. I know you may just not know yet, but do you think Ef will ever use his safeword? I'm a huge sucker for the moment when a character safewords and their partner respects it and you feel that trust. Loved it in Eversion and TWW!

Hi hi anon!

1. I was surprised Polly didn't react to Gary's Big Stinky!! Can dogs not smell human pheromones at all (and e.g. learn to associate certain smells w certain states/behaviors in their owners), or is Polly just... Polly?

Polly is Polly. Of the 700 million to 1 billion dogs in the world, there's only a very tiny percentage that can sniff out cancer! (Or detect seizures etc.) (Also of the research done so far, trained sniffer dogs re: cancer are still giving a false positive around 10-30 percent of the time, which isn't great for drug busts, but is even worse if you're one of the 30%~ of patients given a false positive diagnosis for cancer and then have to wait to find out if it's wrong or not - we have a ways to go! Like, there are unusually adept cancer sniffer dogs, and then there's ones that'll just false positive on you a LOT which combined with the false negative rates is like... they're still working on it.

Lots of potential, but they're not rolling it out everywhere just yet so that people don't get PTSD from false positive cancer results (it happens) and then need an entirely different kind of service dog dslfkjasd) - I believe what the research has pivoted towards is trying to isolate what the dogs are smelling, so that we can omit dogs entirely and use breath test strips that won't have a 10-30% false positive rate (or a high false negative rate) - afaik for at least some kinds of cancer, that research is super promising in cancer detection science (this subject is of broad interest to me, as I have a genetic cancer sdlkajfs).

But also, Polly's been with Gary all her life, she's used to his pheromones, his strong emotions, and his issues. She literally lives on a property with three peak alphas, a near-constant influx of severely distressed omegas, and also severely distressed alphas tbh, she's extremely used to it, and it's also all she's ever known.

The world according to Polly is a world where high levels of distressing pheromones happen, and it doesn't stop how much love she gets or how much she's adored. She has no reason to react like it's unusual, no one's ever directing that anger at her. And also, she's elderly, and her senses aren't what they used to be anyway. But if this had happened when she was younger, I think she mostly would've been like 'I'll go stand near the upset person and see if I can get some pets.'

I'm sure there are awesome applications for service dogs in the UtR world, but tbh, this is a world that thinks of using directives first to fix mental illness issues, than like...service dogs, so the dystopian universe bears out a little more on that front!

But I also just frankly don't think that canines are that clued into human pheromones overall in this universe, or at least, not in a way where they often super care about them? Like, I'm sure more high strung, neurotic dogs would get stressed, but I think it would be the same amount of stress they'd show if someone was emotional or distraught or stressed in general, not necessarily something that blows up purely in response to pheromone production.

2. I know you may just not know yet, but do you think Ef will ever use his safeword? I'm a huge sucker for the moment when a character safewords and their partner respects it and you feel that trust. Loved it in Eversion and TWW!

You may not have read it (and there's no obligation to!), but Efnisien uses his safeword/s a ton in Falling Falling Stars, to the point where desensitising him to safewords is part of his character arc, so I'm on the fence about if/when he'll use it in this story.

I kind of like the whole spectrum of safeword usage, from 'not at all' to 'all the time.' I've just come from a fic where Efnisien was using it all the time (Falling Falling Stars) so I'm not likely to have anything like that in the fic that follows. Efnisien's personality here is along a poor communication spectrum with a preference for letting someone take control in the bedroom, and the safeword is there mostly for reader comfort, because I don't think Efnisien wants one at all. Which isn't to say he'll never use it - because I have no plan for this story dslkajfsd - but in all the future scenes I've imagined between them, there's none where the safeword is being used, and that's not always because Efnisien is 100% on board with what's happening.

(Discussion of Gary's attitude towards safeword under the Read More, which some folks may find unpleasant).

It's funny in a way, in all of canon Fae Tales, Augus never allows Gwyn a safeword once, doesn't even suggest it, and most of their early scenes are back and forth rape, basically, and then it shifts to dubcon and 'pretty much never negotiated CNC - the consent is that neither of them leave and they're in love' lol. The Wildness Within was the first ever fic where he introduced a safeword system, and I remember thinking 'canon Augus could never' lmao.

Gary really only has a safeword system so he doesn't get taken to court, because every single time he's had sex with alphas (including James a lot of the time), it was always dubious consent, and never 100% enthusiastic consent anyway. He would definitely honour a safeword, but like, if an alpha he picked up for the weekend used that safeword, he'd also feel low key pretty dismissive of them for it, like 'you wanted to sleep with a peak alpha, what the hell did you expect.' I doubt he'd say that, but he certainly wouldn't be sticking around to offer aftercare, so much as 'oh good, I'll leave then, call a friend or something. I'm going back to the club / pub to pick someone up who won't bail halfway through.'

I think he'd be much more likely to be compassionate/caring with a partner like James or Efnisien, but at the same time, I think he doesn't want a partner who's going to safeword a lot and he'd probably be not very attracted to them if they did x.x As Gary says to Efnisien in a later chapter:

‘I’ve been told it doesn’t feel very nice,’ Gary added. Then: ‘Sleeping with a peak alpha isn’t the same as sleeping with alphas or omegas or betas. We’re not…the same. It’s not just about having a knot, it’s not just about having a large cock, we need to be a controlling partner in a way that seeks to overwhelm. The only reason we can trust Augus with omegas is that he channels all his peak alpha urges into very experienced BDSM. He’ll use ropes and restraints where most of us will just fuck someone unconscious. So Augus can be around omegas, because he knows how to take their control without harming them. Most peak alphas are dangerous to be around anyone carnally. We are predisposed to ripping people’s consent away. The urge to rape and debase is built in.’

This is a dystopian universe with a rape/noncon warning, and the rape/noncon warning applies to Gary and Efnisien, because the dubious consent at times is extremely dubious.

It probably seems extreme, but I think the flip is so strong because Falling Falling Stars was trauma informed, consent focused, safeword celebratory, and probably the most consensual thing I've ever written in my life.

And it's not the only kind of story I enjoy writing. I started out writing serials that had no safewords at all, and it's often my preference, so... well now we have a kind of broad mix! :D

[caintooth]

Just realized I’ve never actually shared the text from my top surgery fundraiser here, so:

Hi, my name is Ez Charlie Tadgh. (Mostly Charlie these days, but a lot of you still know me as Ez, which is fine, too!)

I’m writing today to ask for help in affording gender affirming top surgery.

To tell you a bit more about me: I’m a recent college graduate, a queer and autistic poet, an aspiring silversmith, hobbyist photographer, and an amateur chainmail weaver. In my free time I also enjoy playing video games and watching / talking about films. I'm currently raising a leopard gecko (her name is Poppy) and taking metalworking classes when life allows. My professional life is in the sex industry, as I am a customer service and sales representative for an online adult toy store.

Deciding to make this fundraiser has been a long time coming. Finally typing out the words feels surreal… For most of my life, even before having a name for my dysphoria, I’ve concealed the shape of my body in purposely ill-fitting shirts, and worn zip-up jackets even in dangerously hot weather to disguise the shape of my chest. I've spent years purposely manipulating my posture, intentionally hunching my shoulders to make my chest appear smaller. I've avoided hugs, kept my arms crossed over my front, practiced the exact way to stand in photos, all to try and make my chest seem flatter. Even wearing a binder has offered little relief- the compression of the traditional style does not agree with my asthma, and though TransTape allows me to breathe better (it feels like a literal weight off my shoulders!) it very easily triggers my sensory issues, and sometimes makes my psoriasis flair up under my breasts.

These practices aren't sustainable. They're damaging both my mental and physical health... This body IS the house I will live in for the rest of my life, y'know? I can't keep boarding up the walls, I can't keep fantasizing about moving. I need to make real renovations, so it can stop being just a place I live, and instead truly become my HOME.

So, yeah. I am finally at the point where I know I can't do this on my own anymore. Every day the need for this procedure becomes more clear and urgent in my mind.

Trans healthcare in this country is notoriously inaccessible, confusing, and expensive. I'm lucky to live within driving distance of Dr. Hope Sherie in Charlotte, NC, a surgeon who I have seen nothing but good reviews about, and who has been recommended to me by more than one trusted friend. However, my insurance will not cover this procedure, and I am regularly seeing $10,000 quoted as the amount for top surgery at Dr. Sherie's office. I have some money saved up towards that amount already, but it is only a small piece of the complete financial puzzle.

I have my first consultation with Dr. Sherie on May 1st, and plan to post an update with exact figures after that meeting. I have already paid $100 as deposit for this consultation, and will need to pay a non-refundable fee of $1,000 to reserve my surgery date, on the day it is selected. I will have to pay the rest of the surgery cost 3 weeks before the date of the surgery. (Should I need to reschedule during that final 3 weeks, I will have to pay a second, also non-refundable $1,000 deposit.) This is not even including the cost for any prescription medications, lab fees, post-op care materials, or other surgery-necessitated garments and binders for this procedure. Should I need any revisions after the initial procedure, the minimum fee would be $1,000.

I also need to consider the fact that I will have to take some time off of work for the surgery itself and the recovery period, thus losing at minimum 2 weeks pay (that's a full paycheck for me) and will need to buy extra food and health supplies for that period.

I don't want this surgery to feel like some sort of hardship I'm having to go through. I want it to be safe, I want to feel secure during this process, I want to know I'm not going to be stressed the entire time. That's what all of this is about, anyway:

Trying to achieve a state of comfort.

Anything you can do to help me towards this goal will receive my eternal gratitude and respect. I am constantly in awe of our community, and the level of support we can provide for one another. I feel grateful for even having the chance to ask for this sort of help. Thank you. I love y'all.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What are some things you think about a lot, more than most other things you think

I'm thinking about this right now, and it seems like the answer is "whether or not I am a good person." It's hard to put into words how much that bothers me. There are some people who seem to feel very confident in their own moral bona fides. But I just don't see myself as one of those people. Even though I know there are plenty of things I do well (both in terms of being nice and friendly toward other humans and also just in terms of general life competence) . . . there is always something that looks bad when you look at yourself. And even if you try really hard to fix your flaws, they keep coming back; so you have this sense of having been through cycles of self-improvement and then regression, over and over again, for years on end. At least it feels that way to me, but maybe others experience this less acutely? [EDIT: actually, after writing all this, I think there may be more than two options here -- either people genuinely feel good about themselves, which means they never notice all these flaws, or else they mostly notice them, but can somehow find ways to cope with them without getting too depressed.]

This sounds pathetic and whiny, but it's really true! Some of my friends have told me that I often come off as arrogant or conceited because I tend to talk about what I believe in strongly, and that makes it sound like I don't care what anyone else thinks. And while that's probably true, I feel terrible when people tell me this. Especially since my strongest opinions aren't on subjects where there's any real controversy anyway. They're usually about stuff no one cares about, or issues everyone agrees upon, or a weird mix of both. So it seems like my only excuse would be that I'm an idiot who doesn't realize he has nothing interesting to say, except that I do get some positive feedback from time to time, so I guess I must really be that big an idiot. Or I could try to become someone whose beliefs line up perfectly with the prevailing wisdom, thereby becoming uninterestingly conventional. Which would be bad enough, but worse still would be to have a reputation as a screwup among people who think conventionally. Not sure why I haven't done anything like that yet. Maybe I've tried, and failed, because I simply cannot stop talking about myself. That was probably what made college so torturous -- I spent most of my social interactions trying to figure out whether I had said something stupid or insulting, or if it was just that my conversational partners were awkward/unwilling to make conversation. I didn't want to ask them directly whether they disliked me or thought I was dumb, because I wanted to maintain plausible deniability. In hindsight, I wish I had asked straight out whether I seemed annoying or anything. Then again, I wouldn't trust anyone's answers to such questions, given the times I misread intentions and ended up saying something wrong.

Anyway, I should clarify that this isn't really a complaint post. Just an observation about a pattern that runs throughout my life. My natural state is to feel like a loser, and every once in a while this feeling becomes intense enough to cause pain and grief, but basically this is normalcy for me, in the same way that walking

[aquaaquila]

@cafecxonmilk I guess you will be the first "fire starter" of this discussion so let's talk.

The first thing I want to establish is why yes, my post does call out mostly people who rather assume hurtful things regarding each other thus creating divides in this fan base, the people who choose to be butthurt over things they witnessed also aren't helping reduce the toxicity in the slightest. Though I'm not going to make you like someone as that would be absurd, nor will I shame you for hating as that's a valid emotion especially since you have a good reason to be upset. I just hope that rather than engaging in actual witch hunts on harassing Lunter shippers or straight-up talking shit behind their back, you simply just continue to live, laugh and love unbothered not sparing them any thought because if you don't, then what are you even doing with your life wasting your time on strangers you don't like? No matter how dumb you think they are, they're not worth your brain cell activity or bleeding heart. If you know better then be better. Just a PSA on establishing a difference between establishing personal boundaries and being an asshole.

The next thing to consider is that taste differs and it's fine if you don't vibe with fluff or healthy couples. Be weird, be wild, go crazy! Do whatever you desire and don't let anyone stop you...within moral boundaries, but this matter is fine. You can't really blame Lunter shippers for calling Lumity "just a fluff" when pretty much majority of the canon and fanon content focuses on fluff. And trust me, if Lumity fans didn't go out of their way to harass Lunter shippers, the actual Lunter critics of Lumity would be very mild "just not my taste, prefer more angst and spice" and stuff like that. That would also help identify actual homophobes within the fan base better since you would be able to see who's an actual outliner who is messed up. But instead, the Lumity fan base declared a pointless shipping war on Lunter shippers who knew they wouldn't win the first time and made them fight back and be as nasty as they were perceived because much like Catra at Crimson Waste (yes, I'm being annoying SPOP fan because I'm rewatching it now), they no longer gave a shit on doing right or wrong if they always would get the short end of the stick by the world.

Also, I already stated somewhere here (and if not then I'm stating it here) that both Amity and Hunter are being used by their fans respectively to dunk on each other through their characters (it's like playing with dolls but both dolls are caricatures that are meant to say mean things to one another). Like Hunter's mischaracterization caused by Amity Toxic fans is just as bad. There's no good guy here Lumity/Amity fans will dunk on Hunter and use Amity to bash him for existing along with making Hunter just as unbearable, and Lunter/Hunter fans will make Hunter spiteful towards Amity while making her an absolute bitch. Once again it's pretty much monkey vs monkey where both of them are throwing shit at each other. If you really want to stop it then call out the actual root of the problem of "Why are we using those characters as our mouthpieces? Why can't we just let it go and enjoy ourselves instead of tearing one another to shreds? What's the point in all of this?" instead of going "Those fans are the worst because they do the same thing we do to them but they're directing it at us now so it's wrong". My entire post is about this fan base lacking self-awareness, sp I do suggest people look back to their own thoughts and figure if they aren't contributing to the problem even in little ways instead of going out of their way to blame it on someone else.

And the Luz "misinterpretation" does hold a form of validity to it you know. Luz indeed kept secrets from Amity every time the shit was really bad for her, which on its own is already a trust issue, especially after the first two times were supposed to break away from it, only for Luz to did again but even worse by not telling Amity the true reason why her mental health is truly going downhill along with how much downhill it's actually going (especially with her being even more distant and way less responsive by the end with the hug she gave Amity in TtT while watching villainous Lucy not as warm and then being also distant when Amity comes to check on Luz when she was laying in Eda's nest) to the point she even made a decision behind Amity's back to abandon everyone "for their own good", never coming back to BI and consequently breaking up with her. And this is even worse when you remember that what gave Amity strength and hope to pull through an eternity of S3 was that she and Luz would stay and fix everything together. Kikimora is a shipsaver for interrupting Luz dropping a bomb on her true plans in the photography room because we would otherwise have plenty of Lumity angst from this. After all, even if Amity wouldn't get mad, she would still be heartbroken.

I can't blame Luz for going through things but she still hides it away from Amity despite already 3 times supposedly learning to not keep secrets from her GF. And it doesn't help how easily she spilled her guilt to Hunter in TtT even if she didn't tell him anything about staying behind, along with both of them keeping Belos's presence secret too, which could've endangered the entire gang. This can be also blamed on Hunter sure, but Luz could've disagreed and this fan base sure loves making Luz little shit to Hunter that makes his life difficult and this would arguably be one good stance where it actually is for the better good and not just spite and pettiness.

People drawing a conclusion that Luz doesn't tell Amity everything because of her mean era does make sense because look how Amity at first reacted when Luz kept messing up unintentionally. Of course, Luz would be on a sub-conscious level because Luz established clearly multiple times she doesn't want to upset Amity and in their case, upset again because she upset her plenty of times in S1, and Amity's change still while gradual, was rather quick. Luz's life changed so much in so little time and Luz has gotten further than she could've imagined, so forgive her for also not always adjusting accordingly that her now awesome girlfriend is suddenly so understanding in spite of at the very beginning drawing wrong conclusions about her, admitting straight to the face she struggle to understand her and lashing out when Luz was being well... Luz. I don't blame Amity for also getting mad as Luz was at times really pushing it (even if she didn't make it any easier to NOT push her by denying Luz's direct request of friendship along with bullying her and her friends) so you really can't fault any of them or their relationship for having a flaw that OF COURSE would exist regardless of what they want, and people have a right to be upset even if it makes sense and still doesn't condemn the actual healthy dynamic between them as while Lumity has issues, it does tackle them gracefully and they still remain healthy even if they have hiccups in their relationship.

Like I'm actually sorry to play devil's advocate on this case as I acknowledge that you still hate this take and personally can't fathom it as truth, but there are some good arguments to be made on this case and I for one would not dismiss them. I did not just go out of my way to justify Luz being Evelyn parallel to suddenly do a whole 180 on this take, especially since this one can still be used to improve Lumity by giving them self-awareness and an arc where they try to either defeat it or in fact explore their issues even outside of their relationship if they can't tackle it together. And I did see it before and saw it as Amity ultimately being at peace that Luz may still not fully be over her mean girl era, both owning up to her past mistakes once again, along with actually giving Luz room to breathe and not being overly toxic over Luz not telling her everything. I still call this a bad decision for Luz to not confess everything to her girlfriend at least as it does put into question Lumity's foundation of supposedly always being "communicative" with each other when even they struggle to communicate at times as they still learning how to do such stuff (as fictional stories never truly get to such part and it's always just the chase after relationship) but in the end I'm sure they will overcome it and be stronger than ever. That's my 3 cents.

My very long rant about The Owl House many will have issues reading

Felt like writing my hot takes within The Owl House and its fan base after witnessing some crazy drama all over the blogs I follow and followed:

First things first, I want to establish that there's nothing wrong with liking other ships that are non-canon or ships that are canon. We can all co-exist peacefully, but we won't if we're going to assume that shippers of other ships by default must be sexist or delusional or just the worst. There are plenty of bad apples among all the shippers here, but they're not necessarily the norm (though to be fair the norm usually enables the worst behaviors of such shippers). As a whole TOH isn't a healthy collective and could never be as this fan base is much larger than people realise (you can't have so many people invested with this show for the fan base to be supposedly chill, like Fat Chance).

Like really you can go from canon purists who will keep everything wholesome and silly but because of how starved the actual canon left them they will include a hundred different headcanons that are not in any way related to actual canon and still be upset as if the canon was threatened when you can just to agree with the headcanons alone. There's still, of course, an issue of canon purists literally rejecting everything that's in their mind is supposedly not okay because it strays away from canon in a more direct way. Then you will have Wittelore enjoyers who just love everything about Belos, Caleb, and Evelyn in various different expressions, but it can at times go to becoming lowkey colonist apologist territory along with pretty much-appropriating everything that applied to the character of color into these three when two of them canonically were never given a proper characterisation and Belos is not supposed to be just a victim that deserves grace but the very force that creates victims and the one to continue the cycle without remorse or second thoughts becoming the cycle itself, thus not making it any wrong to unceremoniously end it, though plenty of people will still have problem with it and wish the show validated Philip's feelings. However, you will also have POC defenders who will give the attention and love to characters of color they deserve and even the demon characters like King for example, and acknowledge how they're in fact the main characters while pointing out the clear white favoritism. But this can also go to an extreme territory where you will be called racist for actually finding white characters your favorite and still being interested more in their characters, which as I said is in fact incredibly extreme and disingenuous and also, something that will invalidate all the other good arguments by the virtue of this extreme being the underlying reason behind all of them and thus completely diminishing the problem because people will no longer take it seriously. Then you will have shippers of non-canon ships that are literally harassed by canon persists and were like that for years until they snapped and started to return the favor in the same way to the point of being delusional about how the canon pairings were not the original plan and how they actually suck and it's the non-canon pairing that should be canon which also further fuels the cycle and validates those who believe that somehow the shippers of other ships are after them specifically and how they mean o good when in fact they're the monsters they created themselves. This also leads to the infamous "critics" of the show who will pretty much hate anything within it to also inaccurate extreme that is based on assumptions born from the collective gaslight of some headcanons being canon, along with people judging the show on the surface and assuming things that were never the plan because they made a connection to something else they liked and got disappointed when those two things turned out to be unrelated (for example Hunter's arc being not like Zuko's arc when clearly it was never the point) and thus shushing away any potential criticism the show actually could get by the virtue of getting criticism that holds no water upon the closer look and thus makes people believe the show is, in fact, flawless or that the flaws don't matter in the slightest (when they do as they help improve future stories to not make the same mistakes and create something better). And of course, you will have people collectively gaslighting everyone around them that everything is fine and there's no drama in the show even though everyone hates each other here and fuel toxicity together by constantly drawing distinctions between "us and them" but never talking about how toxic it is.

Congratulations, we created our Emperor's Coven at home! This entire thing is pretty much the reason why I'm making this thing.

But back to the rest of the actual meat of this post, that was mere appetizer.

Second of all: Multishippers exist. Some people like both Lumity and Lunter and there are Lunter shippers who like Amity, me included as Amity's one of my favorite characters. It's disingenuous to assume Lunter shippers are by default lesphobic or just hate Amity. Heck, the reason Lunter shippers dislike Amity is less about her and more about the fan base's attitude. Imagine being constantly harassed that you don't ship mainstream ship by being specifically reminded that a specific lesbian exists, even if this isn't about her. You would be tired of her too because "good for her to be a happy lesbian", but Lumity may still not satisfy people as it's basically all fluff at this point. People are so overjoyed with them being together they hardly explore now possibilities of them going through something. At most, they will use green-haired Amity but people still will be waiting for green to turn into periwinkle, and fluff will just overwhelm anything else. And don't get me started on how both of them also end up being flanderised and dirty because of each other (as it goes both ways). People can just not vibe with that or be indifferent, but because people get harassed for daring to not love Lumity or Amity, they just end up hating it more. The issue is not Amity, the issue is Amity being the only option allowed. And gatekeeping people from enjoying other ships isn't ok. It really makes you feel like people erase aspects of their characters just to conform to a specific image of them and how can you accept something like this when the show is all about embracing weirdness and differences and not conforming to anything. Loving Lumity is a norm in this fan base, not a break with convention.

Third of all: I'm sorry to y'all but I think that considering Evelyn and Willow as literal parallels because they both fell in love with "Caleb" is disingenuous to both of them. No one would draw this connection if Willow wasn't romantically involved with Hunter. And while I don't disagree that Huntlow is goated and canon/semi-canon, their relationship is still left to interpretation and they are only implied to have a thing but not confirmed to be downright an item. We don't know 100% if they're dating, playing the long game, engaged, or amicably broken up. And that's great as both of their characters work in their own right and they don't need an established relationship to be fulfilled and people can interpret their relationship however they like, no need to throw pitchforks at one another. And Willow being dressed up AS A STEREOTYPE just doesn't help the case of her somehow being Evelyn's foil. Luz was dressed as an actual witch character (even if said witch is also not how real witches operate either, but it's still closer in meaning than Willow being dressed up as a devil as if Evelyn indeed charmed Caleb and he didn't fall in love with her like a normal person or that Evelyn was ever in the wrong to like a boy).

And as for Evelyn: please stop just summarising her up to Caleb's love interest for Titan's sake. We may not know much about her but we know that they did start as friends according to Dana's livestream and later on they would become parents to their child (if Belos didn't ruin it). Not only it's different from Huntlow as Huntlow didn't establish where they stand in their relationship at the end while it's clear that Evelyn and Caleb fucked, but Evelyn and Caleb had their love story that did take time (Huntlow at most is just getting started but for all, we know they could still break up in the future cause why not, it's their choice, first love isn't necessarily the only option). My point is that Evelyn's life didn't revolve around her love for Caleb alone so saying Willow and Evelyn are parallels because of them being lovers of our favorite white boys pretty much erases both of their characters. Evelyn's worth as a character doesn't end on getting pregnant, but also being a catalyst of all the events within the story, along with being a Clawthorne ancestor and original wild witch living between worlds.

Fifth point: this is where I bring Luz into this as the parallel, the infamous "Luz is Evelyn" everyone just loves to discard because it's only used as Lunter's argument and further making Evelyn only Caleb's bitch and nothing else, but here's a thing: you can use this parallel platonically to further spite Philip. People draw the connection because aside from having no romantic feelings towards "Caleb" (which is the only distinction between the two), Luz is also a wild witch (wild as in both wild personality-wise, wild as in everything Belos stands against (and side note: Willow being someone Belos wouldn't approve of is not a high bar because Belos would literally not approve of ANYBODY within our cast, so Willow's not special in this regard, heck Belos doesn't even know Willow all that much), wild as in using the very magic that came from the titan and wild as in a wild card that changed the course of history) that traveled between realms and came from another world (let's be real, Hunter is a witch from boiling isles, not a human from the earth, so Luz by a longshot matches the description better than Willow who's just a regular witch born in the demon realm to Hunter that frankly wouldn't be hurt or restrained by the coven system as she only uses plant magic from her bile sac and didn't go against the empire until season 1 finale and even then she didn't do it as a wild witch but child witch railing witches belonging to the coven to release Eda). Both of them also have loose association with Clawthornes as Luz isn't legally one but just a surrogate daughter of one and Evelyn's surname isn't known, the clan could've been established much later down the line or Evelyn's descendant married into Clawthorne's family, making Evelyn just an ancestor at best and distant at worst. I also already mentioned how both of them are catalysts to both the rise in power and the death of Philip while having massive guilt over it (Philip died on the inside as he killed Caleb, crossing the moral event horizon along with setting on the journey of destroying the entire realm. Plus I cannot imagine the survivor's guilt Evelyn must have felt over Caleb dying and orphaning their unborn child - which parallels Luz thinking she doomed her palisman by carving into an egg thinking it could never hatch because of how "she keeps on messing up constantly"). And of course, it's clear as day that Luz kickstarts Hunter's redemption arc by introducing Flapjack (and Evelyn did the same with Caleb, meanwhile Willow's only interaction with Flapjack is her giving him flowers on his grave; and it's worth noting as I doubt that Evelyn intentionally 'fixed" Caleb, much like Luz didn't intentionally "fixed" Hunter, though people sure love to think otherwise), making him question what he knows (a witch hunter falling in love with a witch - existential crisis is warranted, along with tones of guilt) and making him "betray" Belos (Hunter disobeyed Belos in HP and then questioned him directly in HM; Caleb "left Philip behind"). Like I'm sorry but Willow did nothing but wait till Hunter gets his shit together by himself (the only thing she actively tried to change his mind about is not judging a book by its cover but that's where it ends; she didn't call him out on doing the utterly terrible thing of kidnapping them to his cult nor anything else he did that wasn't morally correct) while Luz openly defied him and his worldview for him to come to his senses ("You're really going to take all those Palismen? I know what he does with them. I thought you were a good guy, but that was just wishful thinking" Hunter then proceeds to protect Luz from Kikimora, reveals his name, and lets Luz go with the Palismen just like that). Trivia: Evelyn also has brunette hair that is wild and tied back, Luz used to have them too early on but shorter, and currently they're curly.

That's where parallel comes from. That's what Evelyn us to Caleb: catalyst of change. Yes, Luz isn't in love with Hunter, but we could headcanon away that Caleb would be merely an uncle of Evelyn's kid, who's going to stop us from doing that? We can even make it that Philip felt replaced by Evelyn by her being Caleb's "new sibling" just for the fun of interpretation of the character.

But even if we won't do that (as no one forces us) then we must remember that parallel characters are not 2 characters being one and the same. Evelyn and Luz would still be separate entities and there's no crime in that. Luz not falling in love with a blond white boy is fine because that isn't and shouldn't be Evelyn's defining trait. Evelyn's defining trait is kickstarting change in Caleb which kickstarts Belos's vendetta against Witches. Romance was a bonus.

My sixth point: Last but not least let's finally talk about the elephant in the room that is parallel between Philip and Luz. All interpretations are valid, if you're choosing to interpret them like that, it's your valid choice and opinion. But saying that it's THE thing that happened within the show is just not correct and let me explain why before you discard me altogether if you haven't already.

Luz projected into Belos and Belos took advantage of that.

There, I said it, that's the ultimate truth of the show, you literally cannot deny this isn't how it happened.

Luz pretty much only had Philip as a point of reference to someone who shared her experience of a human in the demon realm. However, if she got to know Caleb instead of Philip, he would be the one Luz would compare herself to him. Ironically, she would be more correct as both of them are humans who run away to the demon realm after being possibly rejected by the closed-minded society and leaving behind unpleasant reality and their only living family member who they didn't realize how much they've hurt for choosing to leave them for the world that made them happy and helped them flourish (compare starved Caleb in Belos's vision to Caleb living in the demon realm and introducing Philip to Evelyn before he decided to kill them,). You could even say that Luz is a fusion of both Caleb and Evelyn at once. But unfortunately, Luz doesn't know Caleb as well as the audience does, all she knows is that he used to be a witch hunter who fell in love with Evelyn but that's about it. She doesn't know that he even has a connection to the portal door or Clawthorne ancestry.

So with no one else as a point of reference, Luz is going to compare herself to Philip Whattabitch. She assumed that she must be as bad as Belos because she thought he sincerely thought he was doing everything for a genuine reason and not because he was just a douchebag. Sure Philips's motivations are complex, but they don't come from a good place in the slightest. The Titan himself literally asks Luz if she's drunk on Eda's apple blood for thinking she's just as bad as Belos.

Like seriously, Luz stumbled on the Isles by pure accident. It was never for a reason or a higher purpose. She was never "destined" to go there, but it was her actions and decisions that led her there and changed the world around her. She didn't know the reason why she landed on Boiling Isles because there never was any reason or a prophecy to justify her presence there as it was never needed. This is not the same as Belos who willingly went to the demon realm to both find his brother and destroy all the witches. Luz very quickly grew out of "I'm the chosen one" whereas Belos made himself a false messiah. Even the Titan said that she's not chosen to be given Titan powers by fate but for her actions and kindness she's given them to support her and it was her decision to accept them. Not to mention that she respected the Isles, the inhabitants, and the magic that was part of this world, while all Belos ever did was destroy, murder, and steal it all for himself.

The show doesn't tell you Luz and Belos are foils, the show tells you that Luz VIEWS herself as Belos's foil, but she's nothing like him. Even their respective hero complexes are different. Luz seeks self-improvement to find a community for herself to belong to. But Belos? Belos wants to get praise and glory for slaughtering "the evil". Those two are not the same because Belos doesn't care about anyone but himself while Luz is all about what other people feel and think about her and she sacrifices herself multiple times for other people's sake. Belos would never do that. Belos wasn't even happy that Caleb was actually well and healthy in the demon realm, in contrast to the vision where Caleb is starved and sleep-deprived because he had to look after him ever since they were little orphans, sacrificing his own well-being. But Luz would rather give up her own hopes and dreams just to not see anyone she cares about ever put themselves on the line like that.

At most, I can agree that Luz represents what's best in humanity and Belos represents the worst, but that is still an incredibly broad concept that just doesn't contribute much to the actual story of TOH which isn't about humanity as a whole. And I'm sorry but this parallel is just used to woobify Belos and villanise Luz, something that certainly is not right. Because even if you made Belos a hero and Luz a villain, they'd still be nothing like one another.

Even Luz's dynamic with Hunter is nothing like Caleb and Philip. Caleb and Philip grew up together and they were the entire world to one another growing up. But Luz and Hunter didn't even have each other when growing up, they didn't get to know them until their teens, and the first time they meet they were at each other's throats which is different from Wittebane brothers having a loving relationship early on only for Belos to stab Caleb. Arguably, even if liked the idea of Luz and Hunter being siblings, I'd be disappointed with how much the show didn't do anything with them and it's always the fan base that pulls heavy weight on them being sibling-like. Like Hunting Palismen is them not even being friends let alone family and it's still supposed to be the pinnacle of their sibling rivalry, even though they were actual enemies and Luz is just as petty and immature here as she is with Kikimora? Luz supposedly didn't go after Hunter after he ran away from the Owl House whereas she did chase King when he learned the truth in Echoes of the Past? Supposedly we never had an on-screen scene where Hunter officially becomes a Noceda? I'm sorry but I will take a "You're family" from Afro-Latina as not confirmation that I'm a sibling but a friend who is close enough to be as valued as a family member, especially followed by Willow's "You're one of us now" and preceded with Camila's "I'm a mother of six". Are Hunter and Willow siblings too now? Hunter didn't even get to be in a photo of the Noceda family in the epilogue, what kind of brother would that be?

Camila is more of a Caleb to Luz considering it was her who raised Luz through trials and tribulations, sacrificing her own quirks and encouraging Luz to do the same just to conform to the norms of Gravesfield. But quite frankly it's Luz who ultimately runs away because of a certain Clawthorne Witch leaving Camila behind. Hunter literally has no such story with Luz, unless you count him running away in HM, only to return to COTH a week later and then finally live under Nocedas' roof.

Even when Luz didn't like Hunter's guts, she would never kill him. And despite being dressed up as Belos in the nightmare sequence, there's never a parallel between Philip and Caleb, because truly this isn't their relationship. And while we're at it, the whole nightmare sequence is once again a play on Luz's insecurities and doubts, but none of them are the truth. None of Luz's friends blame her for what happened, none of Belos's crimes are her crimes, and Luz would never willingly destroy the Boiling Isles because she doesn't destroy the things or people she hates. Even Belos was not finished off by Luz but by boiling rain and her family.

Ok, I finished venting about everything that's been going on inside my head. Might add more on the way, but those were the issues that were bugging me so now do whatever you want with it.

[dirtytransmasc]

Vance Hopper HC's part 2

part 1 here

he's not quick to trust, but once he does, he shows it by leaving his back towards you, relaxing with his eyes closed, leaving his resources* out around you. that's how he's learned to read trust in animals and his lack of social understanding has lead to some animalistic traits

* he has bad resource guarding, like it's one of the things he is most aggressive about. it's mostly with food and people, but also the pinball machine and a few personal items. he doesn't like people near his room or his body (there are multiple reasons for this, resource guarding is just one of them) he is possessive over the boys and even if he tries not to, he gets snappy when people he doesn't know are around them. (I don't want this interpreted as the type of possessiveness associated with abusive relationships. I honestly don't know if nuerotypical people experience [not limiting or gatekeeping, I've just never met an NT person who understood this feeling] but it's the type of possessiveness you feel when your scared of losing something. it isn't a greed type control thing, it's a fear of abandonment/loss/sudden change type control thing. I only say this cause I see a lot of people trying to HC him as possessive and abusive)

He gets really bad nightmares, most of the time he doesn't even remember them, just wakes up terrified, covered in sweat, sobbing with no recollection of what triggered him.

robin watches his back when he falls asleep or has a shutdown anywhere other than home. it's something that just sorta started happening, but Robin takes his job insanely seriously, making sure he never breaks Vance's trust.

part of the reason he likes pinball so much is because of the sounds

he's super good at math, like he can do that shit in his head, but panics under pressure/time constraints which is why he would normally flunk all of his tests. he also has some memory and time management issues, so homework was always hard to remember. he was never dumb, he wasn't held back because he couldn't do it, he just couldn't do it the way they wanted him to.

he's actually wicked smart, when given the proper accommodations (at home, since y'know it was the 70s, and non disabled people hated us disabled people with a passion) he was genius, and he actually loves reading and writing, loves when the boys give him complex math problems to work through.

I cannot specify how much I think this boy loves to read. it's becoming an all consuming thought. I know he would eat up a pile of books in a month, and he would remember it so vividly, talking to the boys about it non stop until he decided to read it again. When he got tired of that he taught himself how to type so he could write his own. especially if he were to be formally diagnosed with dyslexia, he would do it all out of spite just to prove that even with a learning disability he could be as good as anyone else. he just needs to do it his way at his own pace. (the gifted kid that never got accommodated in me is crying, I just want my boy to be happy)

he hates bugs, but, eventually Griffin will win him over bug by bug. and slowly he has gone from wanting to burn every spider he sees to being spider neutral, a more 'you stay over there and I'll stay over here' type approach. and he won't let people kill them anymore, hell carefully take it out side. and if the other boys aren't looking and Griffin is offering one for him to hold, he'll allow it to crawl on his hand till he physically can't take it anymore and Griffin has to take it back. he's getting there.

he loves honey bees though, Griffin told him how friendly they are when you're friendly and now they're very chill (imagine him just chilling with honey bees, just like holding one, or sitting in a flower field just kinda watching them)

can't really do movies, but will put up with it for a chance to lay on the couch with all the boys.

terrified of the doctor, hates it with a passion, but not even the 'toughs it through any sickness, ops to do what he can at home' way, like he hates being sick, he's not the home surgery type. he just needs someone to hold his hand, and to talk to the doctor for him. also needles of any kind can get fucked.

he doesn't get sick often, but when he does he gets it bad, really really bad. he has to be hospitalized like once or twice a year cause since he gets something it either spreads through his whole body (a throat infection turns into pneumonia, an ear infection, and a sinus infection) or it just hits him like a freight train and lingers (stomach bugs lasting nearly a weak and getting him so dehydrated he's convinced he's dying).

he can cook, his mama taught him well. he has a handwritten copy of her cook book he spent days on.

he is such a Mama's boy, and he specifically calls her mama.

his handwriting shifts between what I call faux cursive (all the letters are connected and kinda curvey and twirly, but it's not cursive) and chicken scratch, depends on the day.

I can't decide if he's a bass or guitar guy, but I know that he has to be at least slightly supervised when he plays because he will play until his fingers are raw. Finney found him with blood all down his arm because he was just having a really bad day. he hates playing with a pick so his fingers are always at the mercy of his strings.

he knows how to play the drums, and they're his second choice.

is a surprisingly good driver, he just gets really bad road rage. he's pretty level on the gas, definitely going above the speed limit but in a safe controlled manner.

definitely becomes more and more of a teenage dirt bag as he gets older, if it weren't for his hair and reputation he would float in the back. any and all party surfing is against his will.

definitely drags kids out of parties they shouldn't be at, telling them they'll thank him later. he's good at reading a party in a second, knowing who is and isn't safe there and immediately getting them out.

he loves to be out in the sun, but doesn't like the heat, so he's a late spring early fall boy. the summer gets too hot sometimes. he hates the cold though, so winters are rough for him.

[lavenoon]

For those of us who may want to write fics including Robin but are too nervous... Can we have some tips for how to characterize them? What are their vibes, are there some things to think of/remember when writing them?

I once described them as "tryhard, repressed trust issues, craves connection. aloof with anyone who poses a (perceived) threat to them, kind of awkward when not" (not on here, so no one needs to look gfhdj) but I'll go into a bit more detail!

First, I wanna state that while I left their family situation vague for self insert purposes, they way anything AU related is written, they aren't close with their family. The duplex is inherited, but they don't grieve the previous owner by the time they move in. I won't specify when this person died or who it was, as it's really just to set up the premise, and you can invent whatever for your purposes!

They're still distant, laying the groundwork for Robin's inevitable loneliness. They live alone, in a city they didn't grow up in, where they don't know anyone. When they first move in, they're excited for the possibilities! The world's their oyster and they sure are nonbinary (/ref), so they set out and explore. Happen to get scouted by a private intelligence firm, and hey, why not! (Better than getting in trouble for technically trespassing, oops).

They've always enjoyed spy movies and series, they do parkour, so of course they enjoy the secret agent life. They get a kick out of finding the craziest, most impressive way to do something - think macgyver in the sense that they like to work with what they have, but also kim possible in that they love highly specific gadgets too. Bonus points if personalized

With time, they start internalizing that enthusiasm more and more when it isn't met in kind by the people around them. That's when they start to withdraw socially, and the isolation really kicks in. After having their energy be met with scorn they start mistrusting people, refusing to really show themself, and stick more to the star agent role they earned. No one can take that from them, even if they make fun of their methods.

And so they lean into that, extremely so. They work hard, they aim higher and higher, until they feel like no one can take this success from them. But they also don't care to talk to anyone anymore, having been burnt too often, and they pretend they're fine with it, really.

Robin falls into a monotony, chasing after happiness at work because that's their only source for it, not realizing just how damaging this lifestyle is to them in the long run. They're completely isolated after years of this - and then they gain a rival, and a few short months later, a neighbor (and later, both <3)

With their rival, Robin is not on good terms before ever even speaking to him. There's a rookie, who after just a few short months gains such a reputation to be considered almost as good as them, after putting in years of work? They don't know him, and if he's another one of those stuck up idiots who ridicule them for what brings brought them joy, then they have no interest in humoring him, either. That's why they react with hostility, and take a while to warm up to their respective rival (mostly once they see his quirks, too. Dusk and his gimmick and playful attitude, Dawn and his flashy suits and flair for the dramatic). Then it's on (in Dusk's case. rip rival Dawn, you could've had it all) and they enjoy the banter and the races and the bets <3

With their neighbor they basically scramble for anything. "Nice person living next to me. My tenant? I don't know how landlords act there are no cool landlord movies. Uhhhh okay no neighbor is close enough. Offer eggs or sugar? Wait, animatronics don't eat. What do I do?" So they don't have any scripts for this situation, because they can't counter it with just polite small talk like you'd do with the cashier of the grocery store, or the aloof attitude they keep towards other agents, and those are the only types of socialization they get. They do try to be nice, and don't mean to overstep, but when faced with friendly, civilian contact? They crave that more than they even know, and get just a bit clingy among the awkwardness. It helps that their neighbor seems just as awkward, but in the end nice - so they feel reassured, and safe enough to continue trying, until they figure out again just how exactly friends work <3