#the three deep thinkers

[iviarellereads]

The Neverending Story, Chapter 21 - The Star Cloister

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Neverending Story, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which I'm gonna have to just start slipping past the racist appropriation so I don't go off on tangents about it every few pages.

Uninterruptedly(1) new emissaries from all parts of Fantastica poured in to swell the army of those accompanying Bastian on his march to the Ivory Tower.

It soon becomes impossible to count them all. Bastian has a magnificent tent which is always set up in the middle of the camp. Atreyu and Falkor are still in the group, but haven't said a word to Bastian since the reprimand. Bastian secretly wants Atreyu to apologize, but he doesn't. Falkor seems to have forgotten how to fly, so he and Atreyu just walk together most of the time.

Bastian gets bored riding Yikka, and seeks out Xayide, who always shows him proper respect(2) and has something interesting to say as she smokes her "water pipe".(3) Bastian asks her about the giant armour, and Xayide says her will made them move, and indeed can control any empty vessel.(4)

Xayide asks if Bastian is really happy riding an old mule, and dithers over not wanting to tell him what she means even when he asks, until she suggests he think of his public image.

Bastian doesn't comment on this further, but the next day, he gives Yikka a story about her dearest wish: to be able to tell children and grandchildren about her time carrying Bastian, despite being a sterile mule. He gives her a story of a handsome winged horse, too shy to approach the huge caravan, that Yikka must leave to meet. Yikka is torn, because she loves being Bastian's mount and she's scared of change. Bastian encourages her, and she leaves.

For a long while Bastian looked after her as she hobbled off. He wasn't really happy about sending her away. [...] He kept telling himself that he had made Yikka's dearest wish come true. But that didn't make him feel any better. A person's reason for doing someone a good turn matters as much as the good turn itself.(5) But that made no difference to Yikka, for she really did find the white, winged stallion. They married and she had a son who was a white, winged mule. His name was Pataplan and he made quite a name for himself in Fantastica, but that's another story and shall be told another time.

Bastian starts riding in Xayide's litter with her, at the head of the procession. But he's not happy that Xayide convinced him to part with his friend, and she soon realizes the reason for his gloom. She offers him a gift: a belt that can make its wearer invisible. Bastian gives it the name Ghemmal to claim it.

When he tries it out, he's very unsettled by not being able to see his body(6) and he cannot find the belt or the clasp to release it. Xayide reaches into the air and finds the clasp almost immediately, releasing him. She uses this moment to broach a difficult topic: Bastian still sets store by friendship, but truly, he should harden his heart and cut loose the insolent Atreyu before he and Falkor cause Bastian harm. Bastian is at first unwilling to believe that Atreyu could mean him harm, but once the seed of thought is planted, he can't stop it growing.

That night, Bastian asks to be alone in his tent for a while, and he thinks hard not about Xayide's warning about Atreyu, but her words about wisdom. He has rushed from wish to wish, never stopping to feel content. He thinks wisdom is being above all emotion, and if he can achieve this, he will be immune from all harm. That is his final wish.(7)

A while later he leaves his tent, and six owls approach, messengers from Ghigam, the Star Cloister, where the Monks of Knowledge live. They were sent by Ushtu, the Mother of Intuition, one of the Deep Thinkers.(8) Their mission is to find the Great Thinker, who is, of course, Bastian,(9) to solve a problem they cannot. Bastian summons Xayide and Atreyu, and the owls fly the three to the Star Cloister.

The Monks of Knowledge are made up of all sorts of Fantasticans, but to enroll is to give up all your worldly connections, and devote your whole existence to knowledge, rather than material gains. Sometimes their numbers dwindle, but they never relax the entry requirements. The Superiors are like humans with animal heads. Ushtu (Intuition) has an owl head, Shirkry (Vision) an eagle head, and Yisipu (Reason) a fox head.(10)

Very formally, Skirkry speaks, asking Bastian if he will help them. Bastian agrees. Shirkry asks what Fantastica is. Bastian answers that it is The Neverending Story. The Superiors withdraw, promising to meet again the next day at this hour.(11) The three are led to guest rooms, and Xayide finds that her magic is out of reach in the cloister, so she's unable to summon a nicer bed.

The next day, they meet again, and Ushtu asks where The Neverending Story might be found, and Bastian says, in a book bound in copper coloured silk. They retreat again until the next night, return, and finally Yisipu asks where the book is. Bastian says, in the attic of a schoolhouse. Yisipu asks if Bastian can prove it, and Bastian says he can, and they should meet at the top of the Star Cloister the next night and watch the sky.

The next night, Bastian gathers them on the roof, and says the glowing gem's name backward, so that it shines with the light of a hundred years in a moment. Somehow, this rends the heavens into a vision of the attic, as Bastian left it. Once they recover from the flash blindness, the Superiors all say they saw their own animal in the attic, and ask Bastian to settle the matter. Bastian says they're all correct, and he's leaving now.

That night the usual harmony of the Three Deep Thinkers was disturbed by a first radical difference of opinion, which years later led to the breakup of the community. Then Ushtu the Mother of Intuition, Shirkry the Father of Vision, and Yisipu the Son of Reason each founded a cloister of his(12) own. But that is another story and shall be told another time. That night Bastian lost all memory of having gone to school. The attic and the stolen book bound in copper-colored silk vanished from his mind. And he even stopped asking himself how he had come to Fantastica.

=====

(1) The owls fly above a starry night sky over the desert. (2) The back to back contrast of Atreyu refusing to bow, and Xayide laying it on too thick is almost too unsubtle even for me, the person who rather enjoys being told things instead of hinted them. (3) I can't be sure what it's actually referring to, presumably some sort of hookah, but it amuses me to think of it as a bong instead today. (4) Huh, that's a funny coincidence as Bastian's brain becomes empty of memory. (5) I love this line in particular. Is it just outside narration, pointing to Bastian's failing that he doesn't recognize? Is it close narration, something Bastian acknowledges within himself? The ambiguity of the identity of the narrator also contributes to this question. It's been suggested that it's the old man in the mountain, but how much can we trust the narration to reveal itself? I have my gripes with this book as we explore it together like this, but I can't deny that when the writing is good, it's GOOD, and the translation is a work of art in its own right. (6) The eternally under-discussed side effect of invisibility! (7) And of course, we see that it costs him the last of his memory of home at the end of the chapter. (8) Even knowing German capitalizes all nouns, this is Too Many Capitals. (9) His wishes really do pay off in the least subtle of ways. I know it has to be that way, it's a children's book, and I'm an adult who has a fair bit more media literacy skill (because it is a skill you have to learn and flex) than a child. Children's books can be subtle and deep, and I grant this is reasonably deep, but subtle describes none of this. (10) We're taking it as given about powerful semi-humans with animal heads at this point, after all the sighing I've done about appropriation, right? (The most commonly acknowledged point of reference for this among white folks is Egyptian tradition, though I'm sure it exists elsewhere as well. But, Egypt is a thorny issue for white people to wade into, mythologically speaking.) (11) That all feels rather anticlimactic. (12) If I never encounter the default male again (from this, including Ushtu but saying "his", to people calling a mixed group "guys", to all the other insidious ways it persists) it will be too soon.

[nichuuu]

From Eden

Jeon Heejin x M reader

(1st instalment of De Selby)

PSA: This shit has not seen the editing board because I'm lazy. Fell off real hard. Sorry gang.

Word count: 10k

You liked to think that your first meeting with her after all those years was a fluke. 

As it went for most people who went their separate ways at a point in their lives: there was history between you and Jeon Heejin. It was a little more choppy than you’d like to admit, but it formed the crux of your relationship and you couldn’t just ignore it. She seemed to find no qualms in forgetting what happened between the two of you. And as you caught up with her at a booth seat in some club you guys bumped into each other at, you wondered if you’d overreacted when the two of you had your falling out.

She was possibly kinda bad company for the night – not exactly a face you wanted to see three beers in and ditched by the rest of your friends cause they all got too drunk and found themselves booted from this hellhole. But at the end of the day, they all say that it’s better to be in poor company than to be alone. 

***

To whatever gods that were out there, you thanked all of them collectively for the fact that the toilet that she’d dragged you into was empty. You hoped that the cubicle door was enough to keep whatever was happening in the bathroom privy to its occupants. The music that pulsed on outside the bathroom should be enough to cover you right? 

Heejin—as usual—had no qualms about skipping past the usual formalities of intimacy. Those deft hands were on your belt faster than you could utter her name, and your cock was in her hand before you even knew it. She was gentle with you, stroking you considerately as she laid a hand on your chest. Those fingers made you tingle from the tip down, pushing you to new levels of pleasure you’d no idea you could experience. They gripped you lightly yet firmly, applying pressure at all the right spots to make your toes curl in your shoes and your muscles tense throughout your body. You could only wonder: did she know what she was doing to you? Or was she just getting really lucky. However sordid this situation was, it felt right to you… and maybe to her as well.

“Jesus Heejin”--your hissing through your teeth. It sounds a little more aggressive than you’d like, but you know she’d have no qualms about it anyway–“you sure know your way around a dick.”

The smirk on her face was snitching on the fact that she definitely knew what she was doing. She leaned in, flushing herself against your chest while she continued to deliver languid strokes to the rock hard meat in her hand. “Thanks… He loves a nice handjob from time to time, though I always imagine myself giving it to you instead of him to get into it..”

You summoned the strength to look into her eyes – really gaze deep into those lustful, beautiful orbs she’d been blessed with. Past the want and need, there was an undeniable look of sincerity she held, a wordless soulful confession to you that she had always fantasised you in place of her ‘lover’. It drove you to push a little further, “and what are you thinking about now that I’m actually the one you’re giving it to?”

Heejin thought about it for a moment, almost as if she had a million and one answers that could express her carnal desires. Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her to actually harbour a million and one answers. She was always a wild thinker in many aspects. She was also diligent, and that translated into the way her hand hadn’t stopped moving throughout the eternity (it was shorter than that, but it sure felt like it) she took to produce a congenial answer. 

“Now that you’re actually here,” she finally answered, making sure to hit you with a smile that blurred the distinct line between sweet and sultry, “I’m thinking about how good you’re gonna fill me with this pretty, thick cock.”

“Pretty?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. You’d heard and read of many ways that people described dicks, but never in your life would you ever expect the word ‘pretty’ to be amongst that mix. Heejin giggled – one of mischief and ‘know-it-all’ energy. It’s pretty – her grip around you tightened, squeezing you with pleasurable force as her movements quickened almost in sync with your breathing – because I like the way it feels in my hand… and I know that this cock is gonna be better than anything that he’ll ever give me. 

She stopped, putting a jarring halt to the pleasure that surged through your system. Her hand on your chest snaked up to your cheek – a sweet action that almost took the pure filth out of the words that followed. “I want you to fuck me–no, own me.”

It felt almost like a command in the way that you immediately wanted to fulfill her request. Her thumb traces circles on your face; her speech only gets filthier, “fuck me like I’m yours. Make me cum so hard that I forget all about him.”

You found yourself back in control of the part of your brain that controls the facilities of your speech and movement. You gingery held the wrist that was delivering those soft strokes of heaven just moments ago and pulled her hand off your throbbing shaft. As much as you’d love to have her jerk you off, there were more pressing matters at hand – namely the situation of her clothing and the fact that it was still on her. You wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close.

“Heejin darling,” you whispered, relishing the way she shivered as your warm breath made contact with her ear. “I can’t do much if you still have all of these damned clothes on.”

She quickly recognised the game that you were playing and was eager to match you step-for-step. She held your gaze as she hooked a finger into the top of the tube top that adorned that wonderful figure and—rather enthusiastically—pulled it down. The nipple covers were quickly discarded and her small, perky breasts caught your gaze. Judging from her smile, she loved that you were staring. 

“You’re nice”, she told you, moving some hair out her face like you were looking there of all places. “He’s always commanding me: take off your clothes, do this, do that… I could get very used to you.”

You couldn’t help but smile a little. Her constant comparison of you and the man she was supposed to be loving was making you feel a little better about yourself (even though you knew that was far from the intended effect). You’d like to return the favour; you began running kisses down her body – starting from her lips before making your way down to her collarbone. Her shuddering sighs told you that you were doing something right, and you endeavored to keep up your performance for the rest of… Well… Whatever this session was.

“God… you’re fucking perfect, you know?” you informed her, wondering if she ever knew how much you adored that body of hers. Yes, you were more wholesome at a younger age – looking at her soft features and dorky personality to decide that you liked her. However, innocence never stopped you from stealing a glance or two at her ass when she wore tight jeans or a quick look at her slim figure whenever she wore anything that hugged her body like a glove. You’d never know if she ever caught you looking, but now you’re glad she knows that you are giving her your fullest attention (it was hard not to really).

You weren’t sure if her cheeks were flushing because of your comment or if she was just getting turned on. Either way, she still had remarks to deliver, “perfect is a little strong, but I’ll take the comment because I’m just so humble.”

Mischief was and would always be her idiosyncrasy.

A creak made both of you freeze. Female voices filled the bathroom, accompanied by the sound of heels clacking against the floor as your little getaway location was patronised by unwelcome guests. 

“Ugh… This damned contact lens is not coming out,” an identified voice carped. It sounded like the woman who said it was just in front of the stall that you were in. Judging from the slight look of annoyance that crossed Heejin’s face, you deduced that those were fellow bridesmaids who were in there together with you. With the same expression lingering on her soft features, she reached down and unclasped her jeans. She unzipped them slightly before pulling them down – past the delightful curve of her waist and till they were halfway down her supple thighs.

“Do you need help?” another voice rings out. Heels striked against the floor as another female occupant moved to join the scene; Heejin moved to grab you by the cock and pull you closer (as if the two of you weren’t already skin to skin in that stall).

“Fuck me now,” she hissed, an almost angry look filling her eyes. It was like she was being fuelled by the annoyance that stemmed from the presence of her fellow bridesmaids – using it as an excuse to quickly get filled with cock and have it pumping in and out of her within the next few seconds or so. She was lucky that you were taught to never keep a girl waiting.

Your movements are quick and firm; grabbing her by the waist and turning her around. Her gasp was telling of her surprise towards your sudden movements, but the grin that followed when she turned halfway around to you to watch as you pulled down her underwear told you that she liked how things were moving. Never in your life would you have imagined this: you and Jeon Heejin – each of you half naked in your own respects in a bathroom stall while people chatted freely beyond the wall of the stall. If the teenage version of yourself ever found out about this, you didn’t know how he’d respond.

Your right hand snaked down towards her crotch, and you are pleasantly surprised to find the slick wetness that could very well be running down the inside of her thigh. You could always check, but you liked to imagine. You took your shaft in your right hand. She bent slightly at the waist, her hands pressed against the white wall of the stall. The rest of her tight frame joined her hands soon after you parted the wet lips of her cunt and hilted yourself inside of her. 

Her insides felt like a warm embrace – better than you could’ve ever imagined it to be. It felt like a perfect fit; the throbbing meat within her walls filled her perfectly and felt every small movement the flesh could ever register. To call it heavenly would be downplaying the sheer pleasure she was bringing just by letting you be inside of her. Jeon Heejin felt like something unreal, unfathomable. You doubted that your hastily crafted description of her sweet wet cunt could allow one to process this taste of heaven.

Heejin let out a sharp gasp – loud enough for only the two of you to hear and loud enough for you to know that she too was unprepared for this new experience. From the way the muscles on her back tensed as her walls tightened around you, it felt as if her body was welcoming you. It was almost like she was subconsciously pulling you closer, deeper. You could get very used to this.

You revel in it a little, take in the feelings, the new sensation; the sound of the intentional soft breaths that the two of you were taking. This was certainly a novelty for you, and if you were being very honest with yourself: the events that led up to this moment felt a little too much like a fever dream. You half expected yourself to wake up in the next few seconds, or maybe—

“What are you waiting for?”–of course. It had to be her to really cement the fact that this whole thing was actually real. Sure, it’s inconceivable; but no imaginative power of yours could ever replicate the sarcasm (splashed with hunger) behind her voice, nor could you visualise the smouldering look in her eyes as she bit her lip–“your dick is in me. Do something with it.”

It felt like a challenge. She knew damn well that you always took up her challenges.

Withdrawing yourself from the warmth of her slick, you took a moment to cast your gaze downward. You appreciate the sight of your shaft glistening in her juices for a moment—and only a moment. There were pressing matters at hand—before thrusting back into her and reacquainting yourself with the warmth of her walls. You’d have loved to get into this slowly; unfortunately, Heejin chose the worst possible place to get it on. You’d have to live with her choices (and this isn’t exactly new for you).

And as a third voice joins the fray outside your stall—I think I have some eye drops here. Maybe that could help?—you began pumping yourself in and out of her, slow and controlled with full strokes that filled her to the brim. The voices continued to fill the bathroom as the three anonymous patrons struggled with one of their lenses; you struggled to keep yourself together inside of Heejin’s hot wet cunt. 

“F-Fuck yes,” she hissed. Don’t worry, it was soft. Or you could just be too absorbed by the delightful sound of wet squelching as your shaft appears and disappears between her legs to notice that she may be a tad loud. Even if it was, the trouble outside was enough to keep the other three  “I can’t believe I’m finally getting this dick. God… You’re so… Oh my god.”

It humoured you to see her in this state, though laughing at her would be the pot calling the kettle black; you yourself were trying to hold on to something tangible—that wasn’t her waist cause hot damn was your grip on it doing a number on you. Counterintuitive, but hot nonetheless—to keep you grounded in your senses. Slip up and you’d be dealing with the risk of being found in a girl’s bathroom. 

“Jesus Heejin”–you were trying your best to throw in some dirty talk. It would help to spice things up if it weren’t for the fact that your own words were failing you. Your mind was almost completely consumed by the warm squeeze of her pussy, the small twitches of her walls as you drilled yourself into her tight frame like you were slowly nailing a painting onto the wall of the cramped stall. Actually, you were nailing a painting to the wall of the stall: the way her body moved and responded to your thrusts could easily be considered fine art in your books; her body could be considered a canvas given its pale complexion and its smooth surface. Heejin was an art piece herself – a complicated mix of emotions that could take the place of colour and a mind so complex that no composition could ever capture its essence. Good god… You were hooked on this girl–”you have no idea how fucking good you feel around my cock.”

To be clear: from the moment you started fucking her, she hadn’t turned back to face the wall. This whole time she’d been facing you – eyes smoking under the fire of passion and her mouth slightly parted as if her soft moans and sighs were keeping them permanently open. Simply put – she was hot. If you were to discard the complications behind the sex, one could easily classify this as plain, passionate and simple fucking (in a highly risky scenario that could jeopardize both of your reputations, mainly Heejin’s) between two people who have longed for each other. But the plainness of that sounded unappealing to you; the enthralling fact about this was the complexity of the situation – the thrill behind the immorality of it and the sheer risk behind satisfying your own desires. As she gasped when your hands found purchase in her soft breasts, you wondered if she had the same thoughts running through your head as you (though from the looks of it, she was purely enjoying the sex and probably leaving her thoughts behind. Words fail in times like these – you’d be one to know).

Her voice is unsteady as she hissed through her teeth—harder. Fucking give it to me like I’m yours—to perversely request for more than what you were giving her. To see her this uncouth enthralled you to no end. With one hand on her left tit, you moved to secure her hair in a bunch in your other hand. Her hair was a little far from silky—no doubt from all the dye that it’d seen—but it provided friction for you to grip onto her strands with ease as you decreased the intervals between your thrusts. The sound of wet squelching began to permeate the stall, and it was starting to be accompanied by the soft sounds of skin slapping against skin as you struggled to control your desires to rail the girl before you. Thankfully, the cries of victory from the women outside masked the unsavoury sounds.

“Thank god!” one of them, presumably the one who had their contact lens stuck. You’d affectionately refer to them as ‘Eyes’. “I thought it’d be in there forever. Thanks guys.”

“No worries”, another chimed. It was the second voice you heard when all of them entered. She’d be ‘Two’. “Normally you could take this to Heejin. She’d get you fixed up in a flash.”

“Really?” the third asked. You’ll call her ‘Three’. “Do idols get their contacts stuck a lot?”

“Probably,” Eyes mused, “all that dancing on stage probably isn’t suited for glasses, and who knows what type of contacts their stylists have them on.”

Heejin catched your gaze. Struggling to control her breathing, she managed to confirm Eye’s statement—she’s… kinda right. Oh fuck…—before you pulled back firmly on her hair to shut her mouth. Don’t be mistaken: you loved her personality and all, but now really wasn’t the time for it to shine. For good measure, you sealed her lips with a kiss – sloppy and clumsy and hurried. You squeezed her breast a little harder. 

“Where is she anyway?” Three asked. “I haven’t seen her since she left to go talk to that friend of hers…”

A tongue click of disapproval could be heard. You could imagine that it was followed by a tongue wave of dismissal from the way Two commented, “leave her be. She rarely gets to get out of her schedule. Probably trying to catch up with some old friends or something…”

There was a hum of agreement; Heejin moaned straight into your mouth as you captured her nipple between your fingers and squeezed. If the women outside knew how Heejin was ‘catching up’ with you, you didn’t know how they’d react to the sight of her being fucked raw in a bathroom stall meters away from them. You didn’t know how she was getting away with this, but you weren’t exactly complaining. If it wasn’t for understanding bridesmaids, you wouldn't be able to make a wet mess out of her. Maybe you’d thank them later, but you’d decide on that after you were done with Heejin.

“Was that the guy she was talking about the other day?” Two inquired. You had no idea what she looked like, and it scared you a little that she’d seen your face.

There was a moment of pause before Eyes quipped, “what guy?”

Silence followed Eyes’ question. For a second, you were worried that they’d all picked up on the lewd sounds of you fucking the very girl that they were speaking of. You held your breath, but you didn’t stop pumping your shaft between Heejin’s legs. She was almost like a lifeline – a slick and wet and oh-so-hot one that was keeping grounded in your senses while hooking to the sensation of the slick thrusts inside her pussy. Miracle drug… Or maybe just a drug – either way: Heejin was everything to you right now. Listening in on their conversation was just so that you wouldn’t be found during your few minutes in heaven.

“Nevermind. I think I wasn’t supposed to talk about that,” Two muttered. “Let’s get out of here before someone spikes our drink or something.”

They began discussing more mundane things, and you couldn’t care less about them because all that really mattered was the fact that their voices were fading away. You waited till you heard the sound of the creaky door closing to relinquish Heejin’s lips from your possession. She let out a gasp of air, followed by a desperate cry – loud and pleading now that she had the freedom to speak.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” she hissed. It was almost a snarl really. “Cum with me. Please.”

She was lucky that you: a) had a really big soft spot for her and; b) knew better than to turn a nice girl down.

With a grunt, the hand on her breast shoots to her throat, gripping it tightly as you frantically fuck Heejin to catch up with her imminent orgasm. She was into it, reciprocating by accompanying your hand on her throat and squeezing even tighter. She lets strained cries tumble from her mouth—Oh yes baby… I’m yours. Oh fuck… Oh my fucking god… You’re gonna make me cum so hard—her wells squeezing tighter and tighter around you. Husky was her voice as she pleaded with you to take your liberties—Fucking cum anywhere you like. I just want to be yours—with her, and she was practically shaking in your grasp as you drove yourself closer and closer to the point of no return inside her wet tight walls. Everything – your heart and soul and whatever – pointed you towards making a huge mess out of the women in your arms, and you endeavoured to achieve that goal one way or another.

The tingling at the base of your cock was steadily growing up your shaft. Your thoughts blurred together, nullifying and cancelling each other out till all you could think of was her. With every pump into her, you told yourself that she was yours to take. With every sigh that left her lips, you thought about how many times she pictured this moment in her head. With each gasp and sigh and moan and cry, you fought the urge to hiss through your teeth—Heejin, I love you so much—and admit your feelings for her and how much you’ve missed her touch; tell her how no one made you feel like she could; let her know that for all these years, you’d longed to reconnect with her and sort things out once and for all. Sweet thoughts; perverse desires. The latter wins – all that comes out of your mouth is, “I’m gonna fucking cum.”

And it happened. A little quicker than you’d have liked but there was no way to control the course that the lust of man would take you down. Your cock pops out of Heejin’s heat, glistening with her slick wetness as you pump yourself to completion with your free hand. The hand on Heejin’s throat was pulled down to her crotch, and she used your fingers to rub the swollen nub of her clit as the first ropes of semen shot out and landed on her lower back. She came as the second rope landed on the swell of her left ass cheek, and her knees buckled as the third and fourth spurts hit the fabric of her tube top and the right side of her lower back respectively. You lost track of the rest of your load as Heejin leaned against you, quaking as her orgasm struck her in waves and your load continued to streak her back. It all was so fast. You wondered how either you managed to process your actions in the moment. 

She panted against you, sweaty and spent as she closed her eyes and caught her breath. Your dick stayed flushed against the small of her back, slick with a mix of fluids from you and her. Your hand at her crotch slowly rubs circles into her clit, easing her off her peak and giving you something else to focus on other than how beautiful she looked. You feared that if you stared too long, you’d say something that you didn’t want her to know. The last thing you wanted was to have that moment of intimacy—facilitated by the afterglow of really good sex—to be ruined by some stupid feelings.

“Hey,” she whispered – all soft and tender as she opened her eyes to stare up at you. “That was fucking incredible.”

You managed a chuckle, restraining the urge to kiss her where she stood. She smiled, reached up to cup your cheek as you stared deep into her eyes. For a moment, the world went silent for you and her.

Then she pulled you down to her, kissed you where she stood. The position was a little awkward, your noses bumping each other at odd spots on your faces as she let the sweet nectar that was her lips grace your mouth in a soft and sweet kiss. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced, different from the kiss you’d given her in the midst of fucking her. It felt so right, so tender.

She released your lips with a soft smack, positively glowing as she gazed into your eyes for a little bit longer. 

“Keep this between us,” she whispered, “I love you. I always have.”

***

You stared blankly at her. It was all you could do really.

“What part of this can’t you understand?” she asked. The anger behind her voice was potent, palpable. “I have a boyfriend. Stay away.”

In your hand, the note that you’d plan to hand her felt a little lighter than it had when you first approached. Wishful thinking had you delusional; there was no chance that she would ever go to that dance with you. 

You thought that maybe the friendship could coax her into it – that maybe the years of what almost felt like kinship would drive her to just hear you out for a little bit; yet you seemed to forget that love is blind and can cloud your judgement.

In a moment, it felt like everything you’d built with her had turned to ashes.

***

“Indulge me Heejin. Bring me through your thought process.”

On the bed of your apartment, Heejin tosses her phone aside. Languidly, she flips onto her side, propping her head up with her hand as her elbow dents the pillow. 

“I know,” she mutters, a little bit shamefully if you might add. “Dating another guy to make you jealous and confess is a classic fanfiction folly and all… But I was desperate.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that we could’ve just… talked, right?”

Her lips form a line. She sighs and lets her head flop back onto the pillow with a bit of a thump. To be very clear: you aren’t asking her all these questions to guilt trip her into an apology. You are genuinely curious to understand how she was thinking at the period in your lives. It’s a good point of reflection for the both of you considering you both screwed up in one way or another, and maybe even a good chance to offload some emotional baggage. You’ll admit – finding out that she’d dated the guy she was currently with just to get you to run to her and confess your love in highschool was a bit of a shocking discovery. It was foolish, yes… But you wondered why Heejin of all women would resort to such methods. She could be awfully blunt when she wanted to be, and somehow even more blunt when she was telling you that you looked like shit in skinny jeans. You never knew as one to shy away from a confrontation when necessary, and even though she could be a bit of a big dork, she was emotionally aware enough to understand that communication would easily have settled your feelings for each other.

Heejin rolls in the bed, moving close to you so that she can throw an arm around you as she asks, “you’re not mad right?”

“No. Just curious,” you tell her truthfully. She’s silent for a moment, then she looks you in the eyes and opens up: I always meant to talk to you about it. When I heard from Haesul that you liked me I… I was just ecstatic. You were everything I wanted in a man, and I really just wanted to make you mine. Believe me when I say that I wanted to just run to you after the school bell rang and tell you that I loved you too… and maybe ask you out on a date the next weekend.

Her thumb traces circles on your back. You can tell that she’s being sincere from the way she never shies from your gaze. She continues, “but as I’m running to your class down the hall… This guy comes up to me and just tells me that he’s been crushing on me for years and wants to date me. I want to tell him ‘no’ on the spot. I really did. But I see an opportunity to… I dunno… Spice things up a little.”

And you can guess the rest of the story, but you just want to hear her say it just to be sure. Sure enough, she tells you the exact line that you predicted out of her—one thing led to another and then… well, here we are—and you can’t help but chuckle. The whole thing is pretty damn foolish to be honest, and you recognise the fact that if you’d just acted a little less rashly, maybe you wouldn’t have had to go down the path that you did. It’s a folly of the past but it does bring some shame to your present.

“I’m sorry”—she surprises you with this one. You assumed that you guys are past the stage of reconciliation at this point. I mean… You did fuck in a bathroom before she texted you after the wedding she was attending, so it would be kinda right to just conclude that you guys pre-fired the make-up sex—“I was rash and stupid. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising again?” you ask her, “I thought we were through with the sob ‘sorry’s and what-nots.”

“Just for good measure,” she whispers, a gleam in her eyes as she shifts around in your bed a little. “You can never be too careful when it comes to these types of things. Don’t want to make you an enemy again, do I?”

“That wouldn’t be too bad,” you reason, albeit playful rather than serious. She recognises that and scoffs as you continue, “they say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“So what I’m hearing is: you’d stay for the hate sex,” she fires back. You smile.

“Not quite… But somewhat.”

Heejin sighs and slaps your leg. You secretly like pissing her off a little, but she didn’t need to know. 

“Now mister,” she says, hijacking the course of the conversation. “Indulge me and bring me through your thought process, and this isn’t about highschool by the way.”

She presses herself up against you, and you feel her hand slide down your torso and to your crotch.

“Tell me,” she whispers, a bit of smoky sultriness sneaking its way into her voice. “Why are you so fucking hard?”

It’s here that you realise that you’ve kinda walked into a trap. Not that what’s about to proceed is bad or anything, but it’s just that you’re a little disappointed that you hadn’t spotted this a little earlier. There were signs that you ignored when you saw her in your bed – namely the fact that she was wearing a see-through sleeveless dress that had a plunging neckline. If that wasn’t enough, she was blatantly playing with herself when you walked in, staring at her phone with this blanked out expression while her fingers worked between her thighs. If it weren’t for your questions about her relationship decisions, the two of you would probably have been naked and sweating in your bed right now. 

“Can I guy not be excited by a pretty girl?” you’re not trying to play innocent, but you are seeing how far it can get you in this situation just for fun.

“Not this guy.” Heejin’s fingers snake around your cock, gripping it lightly through your pants. “And definitely not when it comes to this girl.”

You chuckle softly and catch her hand at your crotch. You pull it away and lean in to whisper into her ear, “don’t worry Heejin. I’m not ignoring the fact that you’re wearing the easiest thing for me to fuck you in.”

Her eyes brighten. “So you did notice…”

And the kiss that follows is far from tame really. You’re at fault for this one since you initiated it, but that knowledge doesn’t stop you from keeping your hands to yourself as you reach down and locate her pussy. Okay wait, you’re making it sound like it took you some effort to find it when you really only took about a second; it’s really easy considering that the panties she’s wearing were so sheer and thin that you could hardly consider it underwear. It was probably more like a concept of clothing than an actual, tangible thing. And her dress? The hem was a lot shorter than it looked. She probably hiked it up or something.

You’re unsurprised by the slick wetness of her cunt practically dripping out of her at this juncture. She’s probably been holding it in for a while now – suppressing all that lust and hunger to talk about feelings for some 30 minutes before she finally gets the chance to let loose on you. Hats off to her really: she had more control than you’d credit her for.

“Fuck baby,” you whisper, latheing your fingers in her juices by dipping them in between her undoubtedly flushed lips. “So wet for me already.”

“Wetter than I’ll ever be for him,” she sighs, almost breathlessly as she shuts her eyes to enjoy the sensation of your fingers getting familiar with her warm cunt. “You should—mmph… you should be grateful that I’m actually attracted to you.”

“I feel honoured.” you’re being genuine with her, but right now it comes off more as a sarcastic passing comment that leans towards the more tame side of dirty talk. Either way, anything you say would probably end with her putting your dick into one—or maybe all—of her holes and using it to her liking. Not that you’re complaining or anything, but it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. There’s no stopping Heejin’s desire, and there really isn’t a point to trying to stop it. You’d be missing out on, like, a lot. “Though, no pressure, I’d be more honoured if you actually did something about that attraction.”

She smiles, borderline sadistic and a bit more enthusiastic than you’re used to. Her hands are deft as she quickly undoes the knot that keeps your sweatpants around your waist, pulls it off eagerly and makes quick work of your boxers. Your cock springs free, hard and throbbing as she slides out of bed to discard her dress. In record time, she’s between your legs and stroking your shaft with patient strokes of her hand. The cheeky comments that you had beforehand quickly sank back down your chest – replaced by an earthy groan that only Heejin was capable of drawing out of you. 

“You know… I was doing a bit of thinking,” she tells you.

“You do a lot of that.”

Heejin has no comments, only a cheeky little grin as she breathes warm air onto the tip of your cock. It makes you shudder, surging pleasure through your veins down to your bones. She’s oddly good at making you squirm, and you’re not too sure how to feel about that.

“Anyway,” she continues, unfazed by what she’d just done to you. “Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to suggest that maybe I could cross out one of my fantasies today.”

You’re no stranger to her wild thoughts that could probably fight that of Sabrina Carpenter. As you’d recently found out: fucking in a bathroom stall was one of many wild fantasies that she’d been wanting to cross out. Now that she had you, she’d been busy crossing more and more of them out. The whole infidelity thing was already a major part of her list considering the fact that she’s doing it with you instead of her ‘official’ partner, and things only get wilder from there. Sex with her can sometimes be like exposure therapy, not that you’ve done it before or anything. 

“And which one are we ruling out today?” you inquire, watching with great interest as she produces her phone from below the mattress and swipes through it eagerly. You never saw her grab the damn thing, but you figured that you were probably too preoccupied with the sight of her undressing to take notice. By the way: the entire time that the two of you had been talking? Yeah, she’s been stroking you through all of that. One can only imagine how you were feeling at the moment.

When you saw her phone, you thought that she was going to open her notes app and start looking through her kinks or something. Nothing prepares you for the sound of a dial tone, and you can only watch as she lays the phone next to your thigh, just out of your reach. 

“No prizes for guessing who I’m calling,” she grins, almost too innocently for your taste. “Try not to make too much noise okay?”

And before anything can be said, she slacks her jaw and draws you into the warm wet depths of her mouth. 

The dial tone only continues as Heejin goes still – adjusting to your size and length and taste and shape and whatever she needs to configure herself to. Frankly: if she’d just started sucking you off with that tight seal around your cock, you would’ve been in perdition in mere seconds after she starts. So you give a small thanks to whoever’s watching over you from up above, and you pray that the person on the other end of the line doesn't pick up. While you utter that silent prayer, Heejin’s tongue introduces itself to your tip, sliding almost gracefully over the head of your cock as her phone rings for the nth time. Another ring; her tongue flattens itself against the base of your dick and melts itself to the surface. You grit your teeth, fearful that the moment you make a sound, the other party would pick up and hear it. She slides up in a fluid motion, almost perfectly seamless if she hadn’t gone too far up too fast. Your cock ends up hitting her in the chin, and she smiles as if it were some cute thing that she was taking care of. 

“Heejin,” you grunt, keeping an eye on the phone screen in fear for both of your lives. “Let’s not—”

The caller chooses that moment to pick up, and this is where the game starts. Your lips shut so fast it feels almost automatic, and Heejin tears her eyes away from yours to focus on the other player of this perverse game. 

“Hi baby,” she greets her ‘lover’, all sweet and cute like she isn’t pumping your saliva-slick shaft in her hand as she calls him a pet name. “I was missing you, so I called.”

“Oh… I’m kinda busy now.” he sounds highly uninterested in her, tone dull and dry as Heejin takes a moment to give your cock a squeeze. “Can you call me back another time?”

For a moment, you’re ecstatic. Maybe you wouldn’t have to be subject to her games this time. 

“Quick chat. Promise,” Heejin fires back. She smiles wickedly, relishing the look on your face as you stare at her in a mix of shock and horror. “Just tell me about your day so far. It’s so hard to wait for you to get home to tell me about your day.”

There’s a moment of silence. Heejin takes advantage of the situation; she puts you back into her mouth and makes quick, sloppy work of your cock. The sound of slurping and gurgling is almost deafening, and there’s no way in hell that this man on the other side of the phone was not hearing all of this as Heejin blew you. You tilt your head back, clenching your teeth to prevent the guttural groan that’s building up deep within your chest from escaping your body. You’re hoping deep breaths of air can fill the space – block the desire to cry out in pleasure at the cusp of being translated into phonetics.

“Fine.” you’re almost grateful to hear that dull voice. “I’ve just been doing some filing and some paperwork… Nothing much really.” 

“Mhm,” Heejin mumbles, your cock still in her mouth. She frees it for a second to deliver a line—that sounds like super important work babe—that’s definitely sarcastic in her head and in concept, but masterfully manipulated to sound sincere and enthusiastic. “Anything else?”

“Uh… No.”

Heejin seems almost too gleeful between your legs. “Great. I’ll give you a quick run-down of my day then.”

She proceeds to give him utter bullshit, lying through her teeth about lazing around in her dorm and eating yoghurt. All the while she’s lazily delivering firm pumps to your cock, the sound of her spit squelching in her own hand a little too loud for your liking. Then she starts twisting, and you feel as if all hell is breaking loose inside of you. Your throat is pricked with the sharp gasps that are fighting to be let out of your mouth, skin tingling with the effervescence of pleasure racing through just about every vein in your body. You’re certain you have a knuckle-white grip on your sheets as uses her thumb to rub against the underside of your slit while her other fingers pull the skin around your head tight to keep the sensitive part of you exposed to her impending assault. 

“Oh, and by the way,” she adds, and you’re wondering what other lies she’s capable of generating right now. “I got a call from my old friend that I met at the club before the wedding… He says he wants to be my personal photographer.”

And now you’re shocked and stunned. What was a passing joke yesterday is now being used against you in a way that you can’t even fathom. Heejin revels in the silence—and all the emotions that could possibly be engendered by that single statement—as she smiles and licks you from base to tip. The layer of saliva around your cock thickens, and she uses that to get more aggressive with her motions. You didn’t know if she has limits to her cruelty, and you really hope that she’s reaching it soon. 

“You know how I feel about that guy…” he begins.

“I know, I know… I’m just telling you to keep you in the know.”—her dismissal of his worries is quick and almost genuine if it weren’t for the fact that she was going against his wishes while she assuages his worries—”wouldn’t want to fight with you again, would I?”

He grunts in agreement. “Stay away from him baby. He’s bad company.”

“Yeah,” she hums, locking eyes with you as she hovers her mouth over your tip. She gives it a swipe of her tongue, smiling as you grimace under the pressure that shoots up from your crotch. “He’s such a bad guy…”

Not that you’re into this or anything, but hearing that drawl—sinful and sultry; raunchy and earthy—made your breath hitch a little. Sure, you’re no stranger to Heejin’s sensual side; but this was a bit of her that you had yet to experience. It felt like she’d dug up a new side to her, something unearthed and unaired, and you’ll be the only one to see it. She could take your breath away in many ways and you’d just found another.

The man on the other end grunts once more. With a gruff “Alright. I’ll text you later”, he hangs up on Heejin, leaving you free to let out the breath that you’d been holding in up till that point. 

“Isn’t he a bundle of sunshine?” Heejin drops the facade almost instantly, using the hand that wasn’t occupied with your cock to retrieve her phone. “Five minutes and twenty-seven seconds… Huh. That’s longer than most of our calls.”

You can only pant and watch as she giggles and tosses her phone aside. She crawls back up the bed and takes your lips into hers, and you’d like to think that it’s a sweet apology for the hell she’d just put you through. Deep down you know it wasn’t, but you’re in the mood for some wishful thinking after what you went through.

“Not sure if I’m being greedy here,” Heejin whispers, “but I’d like you to indulge me just a little more…”

“I’d like to hear this one through first,” you quickly request, because no way in hell were you about to live through those 5 minutes and 27 seconds for a second time. “Can’t let you bite off more than you can chew.”

Heejin laughs, fully aware where this was coming from. 

“Don’t worry. I think you’ll like this one,” she assures you, placing a hand on your chest for good measure. “Hand on my heart, honest-to-god: you’ll love this one as much as the next guy.”

You couldn’t help it. You had to check her – match her step for step.

“Considering that I just saw you lie through your teeth, I think it’s fair to say that I don’t quite trust you,” you tell her as plainly as you can. And it’s not that you actually don’t, but more so the fact that you’re just baiting her into saying something really raunchy that’ll rile the two of you up to no end. Depravity is the root of really good sex after all.

“I promise you,” her lips tilt at an angle as she smiles, “when we're done with this one, I’ll let you cum in my mouth.”

***

You figured that she’d come to you with the news at some point – tell you that he’d found her out and that things are gonna happen and blah blah. What you didn’t expect was for her to show up in the middle of the night to be a bearer of bad news.

“Went back to get a sweater that I’d forgotten,” Heejin’s explaining, a can of beer in her hand and fry in the other. “Open the door and next thing I know, the fucker’s blowing up on me in my face.”

She takes a swig and sighs. “Never liked him anyway… We fought more than we talked. Before you ask, make-up sex was horrible.”

You can only frown and nod in sympathy. You’re complicit in this whole ordeal and so don’t have much of a say in this thing. Guilty as charged, red-handed and whatever. You’re just glad that he didn't come over and beat you up like she said he would. Heejin downs the rest of the beer in the can in a gulp and gently places it on your table.

“Is anything gonna happen to you?” you can’t help but ask out of concern. 

Her smile assures you a little, but her words don’t, “honestly? I don’t know. I’ll find out if my publicist gives me hell tomorrow.”

She rises from her seat. “I’m just glad it’s over,” she says. “Don’t know how much longer I could’ve lived with that dry son of a bitch.”

Her sweater comes off her body. She tosses it at you. In her T-shirt, she struts towards the bedroom, stops in the doorway. With a look over her shoulder, she beckons you to join her—come make my night, would ya?—before slipping into the room.

Always a dance with her.

***

You’re starting to question where Heejin draws the line between her sex life and her regular life. 

(You’ve said this about a thousand times by now, but) Not that you’re carping or whatever, it’s just that sex on the kitchen counter while your instant noodles are clearly being overdone in the pot a few meters away is a bit of a safety hazard. You’re no chef, but bubble frothing out of a closed pot really isn’t a good sign.

“Heejin,” you say, struggling to fit her name between the ragged breaths and frantic thrusts. 

“I know,” she rasps in reply. “Ngh… We can… Turn it off later. I’m so close.”

Pretty solid reasoning in your opinion.

How you got into this situation is a bit more complicated that you’d care to explain, but let’s just say that a late night snack can quickly turn into a literal fuck-fest when Jeon Heejin palmed the shape of your boner as you put a pack of instant noodles into a boiling pot. You didn’t know what came over you really, but after the noodles went in and the pot lid was closed, you had her propped up on the counter and her panties around her ankles. You can figure out how you got to this point. 

Okay: to be fair to Heejin, you did kinda start this whole situation that might just put your lives on the line. You’re the perpetrator, criminal mastermind; yada-yada. But if you were to consider the technicalities, she did aggravate you to fuck her, and by so virtue of that you’re kinda both at fault. Does it make sense? Great, cause a situation where you’re both a little dirty minded makes for really great sex. 

Great… Now you just explained the complicated situation. Eh, who’s exempt from a little contradiction now and then. Anyway… Where were you?

“Oh my fucking god.” she’s moaning a lot louder than usual, loud enough to probably convert her voice into some sort of energy for the homeless or something. Between her thighs lay a wet mess that was the source of all this crying and keening, and your juice slicked cock is the thing that’s driving her wild with ecstasy as she wraps her legs around your waist and pulls you deeper into each thrust with her legs. “Fuck me harder please. I need to cum all over your pretty cock so badly I–”

She barely has it in her to finish her sentence. Her plea is truncated by a sharp cry, and it would be pretty funny if it weren’t for the fact that it's probably one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard. The cry is almost delicate, fragile to the ear and almost like sweet music that plays in the dark. The keyword here is ‘almost’. Your description rings true, but the fact that she’s such a needy little bitch right now kind of ruins it. ‘Ruin’ is a little heavy handed; ‘taint’ would be a better word. 

Yeah… Her want taints the beauty behind her desire… But only a little.

“I’m cumming”—Heejin’s practically whimpering at this rate. God you’d have quite the mess to clean up later—”I’m fucking cumming on your cock daddy I–Oh… Oh god oh fuck.”

“Fucking cum,” you hiss, saliva flying past your teeth and maybe onto her ear. “Be a good little slut and cum for me. Give me a nice and tight pussy to cum inside of.”

It feels weird, dirty even, referring to Heejin as a slut, but her reaction tells you she likes it. She loves being called your slut. You can see her mouth agape, tongue sticking out a little. She can barely keep her eyes open as the pleasure courses through her. Her nails dig into your back, and you think she might be drawing blood, but the pain doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is the sight before you.

She cums hard, and you know this because her walls clamp down on you like a vice. If you could, you would have taken a picture. The sight is just that amazing, but you're also preoccupied. The pressure is just right. The rhythmic pulsing of her walls against your throbbing cock is too much for you to take. Your hips stutter to a stop as you release a deep moan, and she gasps as she’s filled with rope after rope of hot cum.

When you finally come down from your high, Heejin is still panting heavily, eyes still squeezed shut, and legs still wrapped around your waist. You can't hold back the little smile that crosses your face as you watch her catch her breath. She looks so peaceful. It's hard to imagine her as a girl with the dirtiest mouth you've ever heard. 

She peeks an eye open to see you staring.

“The pot dummy,” she reminds you, and the horrors of reality come crashing back all at once.

***

So you do find a little bit of a charm behind really soggy Buldak in the wee hours of the night. It’s not the best thing you’ve tasted, but it had its appeal. The sauce helped to mask the depression in the sad, close-to-slimy strands of dough in your bowls, though it didn’t stop you from experiencing a new texture that was severely overcooked noodles.

“Still think we could’ve left it in a little longer,” Heejin muses, staring at the limp noodle trapped between her chopsticks. “Maybe from there we could reverse-engineer the noodle and re-cook it.”

“Yea. And maybe we don’t fuck when there’s clearly a four minute limit to this stuff,” you add befor slurping up the last few spicy, sad and soggy strands in your bowl. 

“Hey. I’m pretty sure the sex was good enough to offset this abomination,” she huffs, setting down her bowl next to yours. “Besides… We’re kinda both in the wrong this time. It’s not always just me you know?”

“Never said it was your fault.” you’re admiring the way her eyes glow in the dim light. At the right angle, it looked like the light was filling her pupils in the most adorable way. “You’re just inferring shit from a passing statement.”

“Wonder where I picked that up from…” she fired back, though it felt much more like she was conceding defeat than challenging further provocation. It was always a dance with her: unpredictable patterns in constant motion, and all you can do is follow her lead.

Maybe one day you’d find the time - make up for the dance you lost and dance with her for real.

Hi. Kinda posting here again because my therapist said that it was good for me to continue writing to regulate my emotions. This one is kinda messy and unedited cause I just wanted to get this out here for funsies. Anyway, I won't be posting as frequently as I used to, but I will drop by from time to time. No promises that I'm gonna be incredibly active and no promises that I won't disappear of the face of the earth again.

Cheers, Nichu

[daenysx]

hi hello!! i've just found your blog and i adore it and your writing! <3 do you mind if i request remus lupin or james potter (whichever you prefer) with a reader who has excruciating period cramps? thank you sm!! :)

hi gorgeous, thank you for being so nice!! i once wrote a period fic with james, this is the remus version, i hope you like them both <3333

remus lupin x fem!reader

remus makes you another cup of hot tea, but he's not sure if you can drink it.

it breaks his heart, the way you try to lay down on your bed but being unable to relax. your entire body is tense, he knows the effects of your period by heart now. he also knows it's useless to try to cheer you up when you can't even feel your legs properly. he only wants you to get over the first three days which are always the hardest to get through.

"hi, pretty girl." he comes next to you with your tea. "i made you some tea."

"thank you, remus." you say, trying to sit up. remus helps you. "thanks."

"here you go." he holds the cup for you. it's too hot. "i hope this helps a bit."

you take a sip. your boyfriend is lovely with his wide eyes, his eagerness to do anything to make you feel better. the tea is nice. it would be nicer if your cramps weren't so bad.

"oh!" you suddenly hold your belly. the pain is always shocking, catches you unexpectedly. remus gets the cup from your hands. he knows it's for the best to stay calm, you're already hurting, he doesn't need to be another thing for you to worry about.

"it's okay, dove." he tries. "can i hold you?"

you nod. "please." he opens his arms to get you. putting your head on his shoulder, you give another painful sound coming deep from your throat. remus keeps his hands on your back.

"it's okay, it'll pass." he whispers against your head with a huge hand rubbing your back. "do you wanna go to the bathroom?"

you shake your hand, blinking tears back. "no. maybe later. i don't think i can stand up."

"tell me when you want to go, okay? i'll help you."

your hand finds remus's, he squeezes your fingers. he kisses your hair the way you like, too many kisses all at once. he's so warm, you lean against his heat to feel him. "i'm okay." you say. he nods, looking at you to see if you mean it.

"can we cuddle?" he asks, his eyes are pleading. "if you're okay to lie down?"

"okay." you say. "i just- my legs hurt, i don't feel too comfortable."

remus is a quick thinker. he likes to think he knows what he's doing when it comes to holding you, there are too many positions you like but when you are on your period, he needs to be the one to take the weight off you. he lies down, gets you in his arms as you put your leg on his legs. remus puts your head on his chest, his long arms securely wrapped around your shoulders.

"good?" he asks. you nod, and he smiles. "i'm gonna rub your back, okay? tell me if anything hurts, dove."

"it's nice." you say, because it really is. his fingers know your body so well, he also knows where to put pressure and where to be kind. you force yourself to relax on him. sleep usually distracts you, it can work right now. you make quiet noises which guide remus to see if he's doing okay. he rubs your poor muscles until his hand goes numb.

"my tea got cold." you say, sadly.

"i can always make you a new one." remus says with a huge kiss on your forehead. "don't worry about it, sweetheart."

you hum quietly, press a little kiss on his clothed chest. remus's fingers go through your hair now, he braids a little piece to help you relax, you still don't know how he does it with one hand. the next few minutes are quiet but neither of you are uncomfortable because of the silence. you like remus's peaceful aura, he brings relief to your painful times, he keeps his cool. you are tired but never tired enough to not kiss his neck and show him how much you adore him.

another cramp hits you. it's not as painful as the earlier but you feel it deeper in your muscles because you lay down. you snuggle closer to remus, trying to bury yourself to his warmth until it passes.

remus cups your cheek. "you're doing so good." he says. "i know it hurts too much but try to focus on me, yeah? maybe you'll feel better if you sleep."

you feel so desperate and so needy for his affirmation, it hurts. "can you hold me tighter? until i fall asleep?"

"of course, baby." he coos. "if you feel worse when you wake up, i can get you a painkiller."

you nod against his chest. remus wraps his arms tighter around you until you feel nothing but him. you try to hug him back, it's a bit unsuccessful attempt but he supports your waist to keep you on himself. his hand on your waist is a nice weight, better than any heating pad you use. you take a deep breath of his familiar scent.

"it'll pass." he says before you close your eyes. "i'll hold you as long as you have me."

he's being too sweet, too precious. you would blush and hide yourself to his chest but your brain is focused on the pain, sadly. you still give remus a nice kiss, though. he keeps his lips on your head until your breathing evens out.

[slashercult]

pick a fruit bowl to find out how you will recognize your future spouse

reminder that not all of the messages in this reading may apply to everyone. so with that i urge you to take what resonates and leave the rest. don't force anything if it does not fit. this reading is mainly just for fun. don't forget to follow or reblog if you want to see me do more readings like this.

pile one

you will know that your future spouse is your future spouse because the connection will be instant between you two. it will feel completely different from all of the other relationships that you have been in, a lot more passionate. i feel like with your past lovers, you would make them out to be a lot better than they actually were to you. but this isn't the case for your future spouse because they are the real deal and you know it. your future spouse could be an air sign (gemini, libra, aquarius) or could be a talented artist. i feel like they enjoy doodling in their journals, they seem like a daydreamer kind of person, their head is always in the clouds. they have strong arms, i feel like they could be a bit buff and like working out. they won't be shy with their displays of affection in public but i also don't see them trying to do anything that could possibly embarass you. they value you your feelings over everything.

pile two

you will recognize who your future spouse is because of how calm and peaceful you feel whenever you are around them. they won't sugercoat things when talking to you, but not in a negative way, more of like if they feel something is upsetting you they will go ahead and ask you what's wrong because they don't like seeing you feel bad. communication is something they do not take lightly, and this works in your favor because i don't see you two arguing with each other as much because of this. this person could be a lawyer or could be in a profession that has somethng to do with law. they have a well defined chest and back area, nice neck area as well. i feel like they enjoy being outdoors and taking care of their plants in a garden. they are wise and may look a bit intimidating at first but they are actually super sweet and understanding.

pile three

you will recognize your future spouse because of how optimistic and confident they are. this person is also be extremely lucky, they may have some sagittarius placements. they just radiate golden retriever boyfriend/girlfriend energy. they are a deep thinker and they are not afraid to voice their opinons. you both may share the same political beliefs (or just beliefs in general). you could come from the same religious backgrounds and may have a similar childhood. this person enjoys watching sunsets with you and their favorite holiday is halloween because they love pumpkin flavored things. they definitely play a sport, i feel like the sport could be hockey or lacrosse, something that involves a stick. you will know your future spouse is your future spouse because their beautiful wide smile. they are soft, warm, and love cuddling on the couch while watching a sports match. your relationship with them could help heal your inner child.

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed or resonated please heart and reblog so i can do more of these readings.

[leovenuslatina]

kiss and tell 💋

⋆♱✮♱⋆

what your future spouse says about you to their friends and families

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆

psa - tarot readings are not set in stone

take what resonates leave what doesn’t

you’re fully in control of YOUR own life

⋆♱✮♱⋆

take a deep cleansing breathe

pick a pile that calls to you

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

{pile one - ace paper swords, five of pentacles, page of cups}

~

your person brags about you for sure!! they tell their friends and family how accomplished you are and how successful and beautiful you are!! they are the type to blush and smile so hard whenever you name comes up.they tell their friends and family how strong you are and how they feel like to two if you are meant to be. they may tell their family that you’ve been through a lot in you life and that you’ve gotten through some pretty rough things and how they really admire how incredible you are. they feel as though they have to praise you whatever chance they get not in a bad way but just because they want you to know that they feel so fortunate to be with you. they tell their parents about how they want to marry you and have kids with you all the milestone of their life they want you there!!

-

^extra messages^

_ playfullness

_ innocence

_ romance

_inner child

_chemistry

_ magnetic attraction

_self love/self care

_you deserve love

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

{pile two - knight of wands, queen of swords , king of swords}

~

so much . literally don’t get them started when i was shuffling the card a bunch just bursted out at once 😭which tells me that they can’t stop talking about you like whether people ask about you or not. they are the type to see a color or a random object and just go off on a rant about how that reminds them of you or one of you favorite things. when your fs talks about you they say you’re a determined person you do whatever you set you mind on you have hella focus and discipline. you fs says you’re energetic and passionate. they will say you’re a charming person who knows what your worth is. your fs tells everyone how self confident you are and how sure of yourself you can be. pile 2 when your fs talks about you they glow ! they say how you’re a quick witted thinker you’re organized and perceptive. your fs always says that you’re clever and highly skilled mentally. overall pile 2 your fs can’t stop sharing about you to no matter who will listen.

~

^extra messages^

_ supportive

_ encouraging

_ truthful

_ logical

_self discipline

_lawful

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

{pile three - 2 of swords, high priestess}

~

pile 3 what your future spouse will tell their friends and family is how much power you hold over them you’re a power house and you’re not even trying. you’re high maintenance and hard to please but they like that. they tell their friends and family about how hard to get you are and how hard you make them work for your attention and they love it!!! they say you’re magical and mystical and shit lmao like you say stuff that they were thinking and you can predicted things just before they happen. they are absolutely in awe of you fr!! they think you’re mysterious pile 3 everyday they learn something new about you and they fall more in love youre like a gift that just keeps on giving. pile 3 any time anyone asks your fs about you they just list off things they love about you like that you’re understanding and nurturing you’re kind and nonjudgmental.

~

^extra messages^

_intuition

_purples and blues

_insightful

_ manifesting a soulmate

_wisdom

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

{pile four - 4 of cups, the artist, 6 of cups}

~

what your FS says to their friends and family is you’re a a very creative person and you have so much passion about everything you bring into the world. you’re the type of person that’s constantly reinventing themselves. they tell their family that you live learning and exploring and that your mind is constantly growing and working and moving at a million miles an hour. they are very impressed with you. they also tell their families that you’re a generous person. you may make a lot of money or come from a home that is very wealthy but you don’t act as though you’re better than anyone and you help others in need. they say you’re a very helpful person and you’re always there whenever anyone needs a friend.

~

^extra messages^

+boredom

+interpreter

+learning

+prosperity

+favor

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⛧°。

[m4rried2the-moon]

⁽ 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘤 ⁾ 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶?

what is it about you that draws people in? what kind of people do you attract?

please only take what resonates, don’t second guess that gut feeling and remember this is mainly for entertainment purposes!

pile 1 - ace of wands, seven of cups, five of swords, three of pentacles. you attract: two of wands, ace of cups, page of wands.

what it is about you, pile one, that attracts people the most is your ability to go for what you want, and the way you inspire others to do the same. you’re someone who can take a hit and keep on going—you don’t hold grudges very long and your forgiving and collaborative spirit make others want to hang out with you. others feel like they talk to you without the fear of judgement. you are a deep thinker, i feel like people look up to you for guidance and to give them the real advice they need (hardly ever sugarcoated). you’re a positive, dynamic individual who’s assured in most everything you do. also, seeing that you may very well be someone who’s very easy to get a long with (even if intimidating at first from your sheer emperor/king of wands energy).

the people you attract are often in the same boat, you may meet a lot of people who are equally as sensitive and intuitive as you may be. most of your associates/friends may have the same attitude, equally as imaginative, creative and go-getting as you. your relationships and interaction can give others a sense of belonging and mental/emotional clarity. those who can’t handle the heat definitely head straight out of your kitchen and those who can cook enthusiastically with you.

pile 2 -four of wands, the fool, page of wands, two of wands. you attract: ace of swords, ace of wands, two of pentacles and five of cups.

what it is about you, pile two, is that you make people feel like they’ve found the right person (in any case). you carry the energy of excitement and novelty wherever you go. people look at you and think ‘what’s their secret?’ when you’re having fun all by yourself or even out with others. i feel like you’re a fighter in the sense you aren’t afraid to go to bat for those you care about, and your values. you’re the first to speak up and last to leave the party because you’re being kept by everyone. you have a clear sense of direction and a unending lust for life.

the people you attract may not know what they want often times, but you do a good job at inspiring them. they may find you with the intention of your enthusiasm sparking something new in them. you give them inspiration to flesh out themselves by watching how fulfilled you are and thinking ‘how can i live to the fullest like them?’ you pull them away from their regrets and guilt of the past and some people may even idolize you (possibly an unhealthy amount). you can make them feel like your their only friend or they are the only person in the world (your passion and sensitivity to people).

pile 3 - queen of wands, page of swords, ace of wands, ace of cups. you attract: ace of swords, four of wands, six of swords, two of cups.

what it is about you, pile three, is that you are intelligent, put together and a leader in the eyes of many. your leadership and ability to solve problems inspires others to trust you and keep an eye on what you’ll do next. others may even see you as a know-it-all but that also can be attractive to them. you go for what you believe is the best for you and advise others to follow the same. the way you speak to people inspires them in your passion and your ability to guide others is natural. people like you because you pull no punches about your intentions, and better yet just end up going for what it is you want and accomplishing things as soon as you get the whim. you’re dedicated, and others love that about you.

those you attract are often equally as truthful and intelligent as you, they find your presence to be a time of celebration and joy. you give the people around you a sense that everything will be okay, whatever they were dealing with before feels very small and insignificant with you. whether that be trauma or just a bad day, when you interact with those who respect/admire you (or even strangers), you can give them this great sense of relief from a harder time—you help people relax.

thanks for reading! hope you got what you needed ♡ don’t forget to like/reblog

[ravens-two]

PAC: Your Next Romantic Relationship

This reading includes:

the person you'll be dating next

The extended reading includes:

when and how you'll meet this person

what the relationship will be like

any 18+ messages

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Who are you dating next

Eight of Cups, Moon, Tarragon - Regeneration

The first thing I'm getting for this person is that they could be a scientist or work in research, maybe even as a teacher. They seem like really deep thinkers and people who are very well-read or that tend to read a lot. Besides spending a lot of time and energy on their work - that seems to be their passion - they also look like they really enjoy traveling. Some of them may have to travel for work (and now I'm seeing that some are archeologists or something like that), but most seem to travel for pleasure. No matter what your next person is someone who has travelled a lot and has seen a lot of the world - and even if they haven't travelled "that much" it could be that you haven't travelled much at all so that's why it seems so much.

Your person is also a very deep thinker. I'm getting something very specific about them which is that they like to get to the depth of any subject. Let's say that you're talking about your favourite dishes, your person wants to get to the bottom of the subject, they want to analyze why you love those dishes, the memories you have of them, how hard or easy they are to cook, then they may get into the culinary arts in general or the history of food or something like that. Do you know what I mean? Once you start talking about something with them it's like they unravel the subject as if it were a ball of yarn.

Your person seems to be an introvert. They don't really like crowds and tend not to go out or party too much, they prefer to keep to their friend group or to small groups in general. I feel that this is also related to how much and how deeply they like to talk, it's better suited for smaller groups. For some of you it might also surprise you that this person is more spiritual than you thought. They might not practice anything in particular (including religion), but they very much believe in something bigger than them and are very open to the spiritual side of things. This is also someone who has been through a lot and has had to reinvent themselves multiple times. I feel like your person is very wise and has a lot of life experience specifically because of this - they've just been through so much shit that would have broken down any other person.

When it comes to their appearance I'm seeing pale skin - and depending on skin tone you can even see their veins - and dark hair. Mostly black and brown hair, but I'm also seeing red (dyed I think).  In general, they seem to be taller and leaner. Even for the men they don't like they are very muscled. I'm also seeing that some of them have dark circles under their eyes. So what I just heard was that they "look a bit like a fucked up Tim Burton character come to life" lol. I do think that they are good-looking but in that Timothée Chalamet type of way. Also, I think that your person has huge eyes!

check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 2

Who are you dating next

Three of Wands, Strength, Marigold - Positivity

The first thing I'm seeing for this pile is tanned skin and defined muscles. Your person looks like they spend the whole day under the sun. I'm literally seeing them wet as if they had just come out of water. An interesting detail I just got is that they have body hair, especially for the men they seem to have hair on their chest and tights. I feel like for most of you this person has really dark eyes, the lightest color I can see here is a darker shade of hazel eyes. No matter what they have warm and very expressive eyes. It's the type of eyes that you feel safe just looking at them, honestly.

Speaking of warmth and safety I think that your person just radiates those vibes, especially if they're a man. They seem/are someone who's reliable and handy, basically someone who you can call at any time of day or night and you know that they'll find some way to help you. They also seem the type of person who really cares about the safety of your friends, not just yours. This is very specific to some of you, it doesn't really apply to everyone, but your person also has a bit of a himbo energy. Like they have a really good heart, very good looking and strong looking too, but not much going on in their pretty head. But, again, this is just for some of you! For most of you this is someone who is pretty smart and very aware of the current political/social climate.

One of the main things I'm seeing is that your person is very hopeful and definitely an optimist. They try to cheer you up whenever they feel like you're feeling down or when you need just an extra push of motivation. The thing that keeps coming up though is that isn't just for you it's for your friends, their friends, the people around you two. It makes me think of those guys who only want to buy a drink to the girl they're interested in instead of the whole group and it's the polar opposite of that. If you're hanging out with your person and your friends, your person will make sure to treat your friends well and make them feel welcomed.

For some reason I feel like your person might be a firefighter or EMT, I'm not sure why, but it seems like more of a physical/manual type of work. This person doesn't look like they're sitting behind a desk the whole day. They might work the night shift too. No matter what they do, their work is a source of satisfaction for them and their "way to contribute to society" so it's important that their work aligns with their values. This person has a bleeding heart and they're always trying to help whenever they can. They might do volunteer work or community work of some kind, but this is someone who really cares about their community and the world around them. A bit random, but your person might cry very easily, just like watching a commercial or something like that. It seems that they are very emotional. A bit like pile 1 in that sense, but I also feel that your person has been through a lot and that's exactly what made them kinder and made them worry more about the people around them. Very, very specific but I think that hunger and poverty is something that really "hurts" them if that makes sense. It would be the thing that they would just erase if they could.

check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 3

Who are you dating next

Sun, World, Sweet corn - Ritual

Okay, the first thing I'm seeing is that your person loves eating and cooking and feeding people to be honest. They see meals almost as a sacred ritual that helps to create stronger bonds with other people. I feel like they're really good cooks, especially because they have a good palate. Your person also seems like the type of person that is really close to their family, like calling/texting them every day, sharing a meal together every weekend, that kind of stuff.

This person might have OCD or something like that, but their daily rituals seem very important to them. They are someone who loves routine and feel a bit anxious when things don't go as they had planned. Honestly, that seems to be the biggest issue for them they get really disappointed/annoyed when they plan something and it doesn't happen, even in simple things. Let's say that you two plan to go watch a movie and eat popcorn, but when you get there there ins't popcorn. Well your person is devastated. It's only for a couple of moments, but yeah it really hits them strong.

With the Sun and the World though, this is a very successful and hard-working person, but also someone who is very happy go lucky. Like they genuinely believe that life is beautiful and a miracle and they will romanticize even the smallest things. They seem like the type of person who will just tell you "it's going to be fine" even in the face of something absolutely tragic and that couldn't possibly "be fine" (somehow they may end up being right though).

They seem to have a very child-like and radiant personality too if that makes sense. In a way it's because they really attract other people's attention just for being themselves, but also because they just seem so genuinely happy and joyful. When they laugh it makes other people want to laugh as well. You may get an instinct to protect them at times, because it seems that they are too innocent for this harsh world. They're definitely dreamers and they think that even the smallest action can change the world. They have strong beliefs about what they think is wrong with the world and what should be changed.

When it comes to appearance I'm seeing blonde or light brown hair, maybe even some ginger here too or maybe a brass tone. In general, I'm seeing really long hair, especially for the women, and mostly wavy or curly. Although I think that the shorter your person's hair is the curlier it is. For their eyes I also lighter eyes here, even the brown eyes are more of a honey shade. The most striking thing though is that your person - no matter what they look like - is very beautiful. They get other people's attention precisely because of how physically striking they are. I feel like they tend to be very symmetrical and their bodies are very good looking too. It seems that they tend to be taller and curvier, both men and women.

check out the extended reading on patreon

Pile 4

Who are you dating next

Two of Wands, Ten of Wands, Peppermint - Success

While doing the reading for this pile "Ocean Eyes" suddenly came up so I really feel like your person is probably going to have blue or green eyes, maybe even hazel too. I also feel like their eyes have this very emotional quality to them, it's like you could get lost them in them because they're so expressive. Honestly, I get a very big Ian Somerhalder vibe here like with the dark hair and very light eyes and that contrast. I think that in general your person is a person of contrasts, of light and dark and even contradictions.

Do you know that Walt Whitman's poem "Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself / (I am large I contain multitudes)"? I think that they really embody these lines. I'm also getting Fernando Pessoa's "I am nothing. / I shall never be anything. / I cannot even wish to be anything. / Apart from this, I have within me all the dreams in the world." Your person is very, very poetic pile 4. Maybe they're into literature (especially the classics) or they really love reading/writing poetry. This person is very deep, but again, filled with contradictions. They are hard to understand because they seem to be many things all at once. It's a very Gemini energy to be honest.

Apart from this your person is also very successful. They may come from money or they worked really hard until they got to where they are. No matter what though they dedicate a lot of their time to their work, to the point that they can't even rest properly because they can't take their mind off work. Some of them might also have some personal project or a business that they feel very passionate about and are just waiting for the right time to "launch" it. They're someone who makes a lot of plans, but not like in pile 3, more in the sense of making a plan to break down the steps that they need to take. This is for organization not control, if that makes sense. They also seem to really enjoy traveling, but either don't have much time for it or they end up getting tired in the middle of their trip. They feel like the type of person who has wanderlust, but also gets homesick easily. 

They are introverts for sure, and although this doesn't mean that they're antisocial it really does feel like they spend more time at home or by themselves. To me this feels more like they never really get the company that they crave. They really need mental stimulation, and the people around them can't really offer them that. Something that's coming up is that they might struggle with the little demon and angel on their shoulders sometimes. I feel like the little devil sometimes really wants them to cause some mischief or chaos and they try to control this. Honestly, what I'm getting from this is that they may annoy you on purpose, for their own amusement. I don't think that this is toxic, it's more meaningless stuff that will make you laugh rather than really annoy you.

What I can tell you pile 4 is that your person is very, very unique. I think you'll know it's them as soon as you meet them because you'll think that you've never met someone like this.

check out the extended reading on patreon

[misc-obeyme]

Wait a minute, Barbatos listens to heavy metal? In which of the games is the sacred chat that included this juicy little fact mentioned? Is it a daily chat or is it obtainable from a card?

Affinity with heavy metal suits him very well, honestly.

I absolutely love when a character's personality is founded on a particular 'theme,' a specific range of generally interconnected interests, as well as a determined set of qualities—only for an unrelated/unexpected trait, quirk, hobby, talent or interest to sneak up and add a quaint pop of entertainment and relatability to their person.

Barbatos adores tea, likes cleaning, and tends to tiny demons, which are all things that give a sort of serene, domestic tinge to his figure. Yet, he indulges in the genre of heavy metal. And I think that that's such a satisfying, realistic shade to his personality palette because the truth is that one individual can hold so many differences within them, and some of those differences may at times be starkly opposing. And that is so intriguing.

Except in this case, I don't think Barbatos's appreciation for heavy metal is 'unrelated' to him per se or even a difference at all; in fact, it's woven with his being and who he is. Because of course, despite the calmness, fondness for tea, and intricate skills in making all sorts of sweet and savoury delicacies—aspects that craft an almost soft, meditative aura around him—he's also a thinker with a sense of wisdom and a badass who displays a multitude of talents while appreciating a musical genre famous for its loud intensity (which at first glance 'opposes' his general calm image and eloquent manner of speech).

So this is where I point out that this very 'difference' is perfect, since it's also a core similarity in and of itself; after all, Barbatos is intense and thoughtful, just like heavy metal itself (even though the genre has this unfair, unfortunate stereotype of being 'aggressive noise only'). What I mean to say is, this preference Barbatos has is merely an extension of his self and a representation of the parts of it that are not immediately apparent. It may seem startling at the beginning, but in my opinion, it makes so much sense that he would appreciate heavy metal.

He has lived for a very, very long time and that existence came with thousands upon thousands of experiences that shaped his mindset, temperament and wisdom, as well as gave him depth. I assume he found that heavy metal resonates with him in some ways. Perhaps it is not only admiration for the deep lyrics or relation to them, but also how the intense volume might help him vicariously express certain emotions.

In all honesty, it would be nice to see what young Barbatos was like. Now it's just rats that make him lose his marbles and go from 0 to 100 in the course of a millisecond. His anger is often pretty much covert otherwise. How interesting it would be to catch a glimpse of his wild days of youth—Barbatos being outwardly wrathful, spitting out what's on his mind without restraint, immediately resorting to violence, and even getting jealous because he's still young and hasn't yet attained the wisdom and maturity all that experience has to offer.

This is way longer than I intended it to be, but the subject piqued my interest, I love rock and admire the depth of thought in it and heavy metal, and overanalysing and overthinking are best friends of mine lol

The chat is from OG and I'm like... 99.999% sure that it's with the group The Fantastic Three. I remember Lucifer apologizing for Asmo who decided to perform some heavy metal at an event or something. And Barbatos was like, actually I like heavy metal. And Lucifer and Diavolo were both like ???

But for the life of me, I cannot find it. I thought it was a daily chat, but I can't find it. Maybe it's from a card? Does anyone know exactly which chat that is??

Anyway, I agree with everything you're saying. I very much headcanon that Barbatos has a lot of depth that we simply don't see. This because he hides it deliberately. I think he does this because he feels he has to have a certain demeanor, not just as Diavolo's butler and as a role model to him, but also because he feels he was too wild in his past. He wants to project that image of perfect calm and competence.

Despite all that, Barbatos is still a being with emotions and I really like the idea that heavy metal in particular speaks to him. Listening to it allows him to sit with some feelings that he normally represses. It helps him work through them instead of letting them fester.

I also think an indication of a well written character is when that character has unexpected traits. It's impossible to make a character as nuanced as a real person, but you can create the illusion of it by giving them depth. Barbatos feels like he has so much happening beneath the surface, so many pieces to him that we haven't discovered yet. It's one of the reasons I love him so much.

Who is he when he lets himself go? I have spent too much time thinking about that.

And how interesting it would be to see how he was when he was younger...

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

I Think Hypmic's Portrayal of Gender Roles is Kinda Refreshing: An Essay A.K.A. I'm Procrastinating on a Weekend Deadline :)

Hypmic's talking points on gender are hamfisted, corny, and melodramatic. "Maybe...we shouldn't have a wage gap," is not the hottest of takes. However, like most things in Hypmic, the writers have a lot more to say about gender and gender roles in the framing of the story itself that's much more nuanced. And honestly? It's kinda refreshing.

It's also something that went way over my head when I first became a Hypmic fan. Sure, I read manga and played Japanese video games--usually translated into English first--but I didn't have enough exposure to hundreds or thousands of pieces of untranslated Japanese media. I'm going to guess that most Hypmic fans don't either, which is totally fine and normal. We all exist within our respective cultural communities wherein we're bombarded with messages constantly telling us how to act, think, and speak. We tend to absorb these messages on subconscious levels and reflect them in the art we create and stories we tell, either by reinforcing them or challenging them. Thus, our stories don't exist in a vacuum, and divorcing stories from their cultural backgrounds can suggest the artist is the original thinker of a larger concept or hide their specific point of criticism. That is, if I wrote a story about a man who chooses to not catch fish, drink beer, and drive a Dodge Ram pick-up truck, we should be aware that I'm not the person who conceptualized the stereotype of dudes who catch fish, drink beer, and drive pick-ups. I wouldn't deserve the credit for dreaming up that exact image, and at the same time, it would be incorrect to read that as me targeting those three things randomly. The choice to not drive a Dodge Ram pick-up is not a commentary on Fiat Chrysler Automobiles. It's a stand-in for the notion of masculinity.

Thing is, we're hit with messages about masculinity, femininity, and other gender-related concepts on a daily basis. No matter where you live or what language you speak, every person on Earth is inundated with messages saying, "This is what you are, and consequently, this is how you should act." Our relation to these messages is complicated, and this complexity is compounded by different cultural communities preaching different messages in their stories, marketing, and human interactions. For instance, the US's massive global cultural influence means that those outside the US can still easily recognize what I mean by catching fish, drinking beer, and driving enormous American pick-up trucks. But the location and cultural differences may add or subtract nuances. A person living in, say, Munich is unlikely to have Dodge pick-ups advertised to them the way a person in rural Texas would. Our fictional Munich person does not feel the same social pressures to buy a Dodge and represent their masculinity with a Dodge the way our imaginary Texan would. In turn, the Munich person likely sees a Dodge with an element of absurdity--who the hell needs such a big truck in a European city?--and foreign Americanness. The Texan wouldn't have that concern--why worry about navigating your enormous truck down narrow streets when you live in the countryside?--and sees Americanness as their local default, thus removing any element of foreignness.

That is to say, gendered messages aimed at people (especially women) who live in Japan don't affect me the same way as they impact those who do live in Japan. Like, it's not my dog in the fight, and there are plenty of people who are directly affected who write their own stories and commentaries on gender roles in Japan. Japanese women don't need a random guy in the US to stand up and say, "Damn, your gender roles are fucked!" 1) They already know. 2) They're already saying it. So I come at this from an angle of someone who already has deep, primary frustration with the gendered messaging in my culture and secondary frustrations when similar messages appear in other cultures. I don't have a bone to pick with Japanese media in particular. Plain and simple, reading and working on hundreds of pieces of Japanese media is what I do for a living. It's in my face constantly, and as a result, I am also perpetually bombarded by messages about gender roles in Japanese media.

It's not a hot take to say that Japanese media, like the media of every single other culture around the globe, has a lot to say about gender. There's a lot of slotting people into boxes and telling people what to do. It's chafing, as we see all across history in art produced in reaction to gender roles. In the past couple of decades, global shifts in gender roles have caused media to shift the messages they're pushing, but it's not controversial to say that Japan has lagged behind other countries like the US.

Many, many stories push arbitrary notions of how to be a girl or how to be a boy that don't necessarily come from the author themselves. The authors probably aren't even fully conscious that they're making these choices. If an author writes a story about a library and makes every female character a romance fan and every male character an action fan, it's likely a reflection of endless messaging that says action is for boys, romance is for girls. In turn, this story becomes yet another reinforcing message. If no fictional girls like action, and no fictional boys like romance, it becomes alienating for real girls and boys who don't follow these same rules. These rules are everywhere and have so much to say about gender that it's hard to know where to begin. Girls must like cute things. Boys can't like sweet food. Women must not express sexual desire. Men can't be shy. On and on and on.

Which is why, when there's a relative lack of this in Hypmic, it's kind of a breath of fresh air.

Wrong Ways to Be a Man

Actually, Hypmic does have a few moments where characters claim there are certain things men or women should do, but the writing always frames these messages as incorrect.

Take Samatoki, for instance. After Kuukou and Sasara leave MCD, Samatoki tells Ichirou, "Men shouldn't cry when they lose their friends. Men should only cry when they lose a family member."

(TDD chapter 10)

This line usually appears via Ichirou's perspective. In the stage play, it's told during a song Ichirou narrates, and as shown above in panel 3, the manga frames the line from the angle at which Ichirou sees it. In such moments, the audience is meant to read this as a cool line from a strong mentor figure to Ichirou. That's how Ichirou sees it, and he's a seventeen-year-old with too much on his shoulders who idolizes Samatoki. He is incapable of seeing how much pain Samatoki struggles with.

However, when the manga focuses on more intimate moments of Samatoki's life, we see that Samatoki does struggle quite a lot.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 6)

This isn't a cool, attractive figure meant to be idolized. While Samatoki's cigarette usage and aggressiveness are often framed as sexy or enticing, the juxtaposition with dirty laundry, overflowing ashtrays, and empty bottles make him a sympathetic and struggling figure. Therefore, we should understand that his notion that men don't cry is flawed. It's a means to distract himself from emotions he doesn't want to feel.

Later, as Samatoki begins to process his emotions and open up to his teammates, the unhealthy coping mechanisms recede. Samatoki is more confident, mature, and happier as a result of being more emotionally vulnerable.

We see a similar transformation with Kuukou. As a teen, Kuukou is reluctant to accept help or truly let anyone in. In a conversation with Hitoya, he says (and I am still completely unable to take this seriously), "A man's got to wipe his own ass."

(DH/BAT chapter 4)

However, over the course of his character arc, Kuukou learns that he cannot exist as a good leader or individual without the teamwork of his newfound "family." Only rejecting this classical and toxic notion of masculinity brings Kuukou joy.

In fact, most of the first-line characters have very similar arcs. At the start of the story, Ichirou is insistent on doing everything himself. He has to learn to be able to rely on other people (Kuukou, Samatoki, Ichirou and Jirou) to be happier and unlock his true strength. See below, his final attack and Ability use in the 2nd DRB, which is only possible when his brothers figuratively and literally support him through it.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 25)

Sasara struggles with emotional honesty and trust in favor of using humor to gloss over discomfort. It takes multiple heart-to-hearts with Roshou before he can let humor take a backseat and say how he really feels. Ramuda has difficulty trusting other people and being honest with his emotions when faced with stressful scenarios. Only through Fling Posse is he able to open up and ask for help instead of driving people away when the problems are too big for him to face alone. Jakurai struggles to connect with other people, work through and acknowledge his complicated feelings, and not place himself on a pedestal. Through Matenrou, Jakurai is able to ask for help, be more open, and ultimately be less hard on himself.

The second- and third-line characters follow similar arcs, and this repetition creates a core message for Hypmic: Trust and rely other people. Be open with your feelings. There's a wrong way to be a man, and that's to hurt yourself and other people.

Right Ways to Be a Man...Are Infinite!

But with that being said, there is a surprising lack of commentary on how else to be a man. Hypmic as a whole doesn't do much to constrain the male characters in terms of gender roles.

Sure, some characters do fit into more traditionally masculine roles--Ichirou, Samatoki, Riou, etc. The messaging makes it clear that it isn't wrong to play into masculinity provided it doesn't become toxic. (See above.)

Even then, however, these especially masculine characters are associated with less masculine traits that are either portrayed positively or not portrayed as a joke. Riou is an avid cook, but the joke is never that he wears an apron and knows his way around an outdoor kitchen (tee-hee, men don't cook!). It's that he cooks with horrifying ingredients. Samatoki is a fashionista, but the joke is framed as a counterpart to Ichirou's nerdiness.

(DoD chapter 1)

Here, it's funny that neither of them can shut up (the ペラペラ/blah blah SFX, the long bubbles filled with lots of text that's cut to indicate they kept going for longer), but the object of their attention--a model toy and a pair of jeans--are treated in the same neutral light. It's very common for stories to touch on, even defensively, the social taboo of men being into clothes. Hypmic doesn't even acknowledge that such a taboo could exist.

This is subtle but extraordinarily effective in giving characters the same consideration and weight. The more feminine characters are always treated just as sincerely (or, if there's a joke to be made, irreverently) as the more masculine characters. Take Ramuda, for instance. In Japanese media, a love of sweets is often characterized as feminine and will often be remarked upon, even in LGBT+ media, as atypical for men. Again, there's zero acknowledgement of such a thing in Hypmic. Whenever other characters talk about Ramuda's food intake, it's always framed as a concern about the lack of nutrition.

(FP/M chapter 11... I don't have the source lying around on my computer, so here's the old-ass scanlation lol)

It's also given the exact same weight as anyone else's junk food habits. Here, MCD goes out for burgers (a neutral to masculine-coded food due to the meat and high calorie count) while Ramuda opts to try a sugary Starbucks-esque drink. The parallelism in the comic's framing suggests that the two objects are functionally the same, and there is no comment that a sugary drink is feminine and therefore "inappropriate" for Ramuda. There's also no indication that MCD's preferences are in any way better. They simply happen to be the characters' personal preferences. The punchline is two groups splitting up, only to awkwardly run into each other again moments later.

(DoD volume 4 bonus comic)

Similarly, Ramuda's interest in clothes or fashion is never treated negatively--in fact, the discussions of clothes as a means to find identity and happiness make it a positive!

In ARB cards and promotional materials, Ramuda sometimes wears dresses. It's, again, portrayed in parallel to other characters wearing more masculine clothes and is never commented on as something "unusual." It's just who Ramuda is.

Hifumi is another interesting case. Like Ramuda, his playful personality often doesn't as stereotypically masculine. (To be clear, I read much of this as "gender neutral with a strong emphasis on youth" versus "feminine" in a way that I'm not sure has a good US equivalent...metrosexual/yuppie men's fashion, maybe? In the sense that it's a youth subculture that defies some masculine gender roles but is still focused mainly on men. I wish I was more well-versed in Japanese men's fashion and could give an exact term, but I'm what I'm thinking of is definitely an established thing--young, trendy dudes whose styles focus on poppiness vs. the rugged manly man or "idk, I'm just some guy" subcultures. It's a thing that pisses off old Japanese conservative men in the same fashion as people getting up in arms about "the gayz!!!1!" and their androgynous clothing lol.) Their personalities are often the butt of jokes, but only in the same way that Dice or Doppo are--that is, that they're exaggerated and over the top. There's no commentary on masculinity or lack thereof.

There are also moments when Hifumi, Gentarou, or other characters play feminine characters in roleplay moments, which is usually (but not always) not the sole joke. The audience is supposed to find it funny, but the humor is almost always centered on the absurdity of the scene as a whole. For instance, in a moment where Hifumi and Doppo are pretending to be two drunk karaoke-goers, the humor comes from the composite set-up of Hifumi's hair twirl, Doppo's untucked shirt and tie, Doppo and Hifumi's exaggeratedly flirtatious poses, the spotlights and sparkles, and the same font as used on classic karaoke machines.

(FP/M+ September 2022 oneshot)

Hifumi and Doppo do not perform traditional gender roles in their homelife, and while it's easy to see and often commented on in the English-speaking fanbase when it comes to Hifumi, I find it just as prevalent on Doppo. It's true that Hifumi is taking a feminine role by doing the majority of the household's cooking and cleaning, but if we were to assume Doppo has the masculine role in the household, he would have the breadwinner duty. However, he isn't the main source of income for their household, and he's just as unassertive in finding a (female) romantic partner as Hifumi is. Japanese men are bombarded with media messages stressing the importance of taking an active role in career and romance. That Doppo does not would, in many stories, make him the butt of a joke for not living up to masculine gender roles. But he isn't; instead, Hypmic portrays him as a sympathetic character. It's tough, Hypmic says, for people to get good jobs and maintain friendships/relationships as an adult.

Similarly, it's noteworthy that Hifumi's self-appointed term "Gigolo" is consistently portrayed as a good thing in Hypmic. The meaning of the English term aside, the Japanese word ジゴロ (jigoro) is almost always used as an insult for a man who is financially dependent on one or multiple women. In the strictest sense of the term, Hifumi is a jigoro in that his income derives from his female clients. However, there is never any shame associated with that, and as a whole, Hifumi's career as a host is shown to be a positive thing. I can't express enough how rare that is in any sort of semi-serious media. Certainly, Hypmic acknowledges that his job requires too much drinking (Doppo's verse in Hoodstar), but the overall portrayal is overwhelmingly positive. Hifumi and his coworkers are never treated as uneducated, boorish, or pathetic for "failing" to find other work that does not require flirting with and entertaining women. (This is partially due to the overlapping judgment with sex work.)

All the various harmless preferences and personality traits of the male characters are treated equally with no judgement over what's masculine or non-masculine. Within the broader context of Japanese media, this absence of judgment stands out and reinforces one of Hypmic's core themes: Differences make us better, not worse. In the end, Hypmic suggests, there's no one right way to be a man.

Right Ways to Be a Woman...Are Just as Infinite!

But what about women? This series is, after all, marketed mainly towards women, and while female audience members can no doubt extrapolate the lessons learned from the male characters, it's worth taking a look at the female characters too.

The female characters do receive much less screen time than the men and are not the focus in the series; I'd argue that's less an issue of overt sexism and more that they fall out of focus in the story the writers want to tell. (There's a broader discussion to be had about inherent sexism in the writers' focus which goes hand-in-hand with rap industries across the globe favoring men and rap being an example of exaggerated masculinity, but that's a topic for another day.)

Even so, the framing of the female characters is interesting in a couple key respects. The individual character arcs and motivations of the main female characters are, in my opinion, some of the weakest parts of Hypmic--many times, Otome and Ichijiku do things because the plot demands them to, making them look incompetent or needlessly cruel for characters we're supposed to sympathize with. Nemu's story seems to be handled with more care and takes an interesting twist, wherein she openly acknowledges that she's disenfranchised as a woman in modern Japan but rejects the notion that she needs to find strength on either Ichirou or Samatoki's (male) terms. By choosing to be strong in "her own way" (whatever that means...it's not well-defined), the authors are using Nemu to reject the notion that strength and power are inherently masculine.

What I find to be far more interesting is the character design for the Chuuouku women, both in what is said and what is not said.

To begin with, the characters and their portrayals run the gambit from highly sexualized to completely non-sexual. Some characters (especially Ichijku and Honobono) have conventionally attractive, curvy body types and are often drawn in ways that highlight their bodies.

(FP/M+ chapter 4)

(FP/M+ chapter 14)

In some cases, especially Honobono's, the enticing nature of the illustrations is framed as the character's choice; in the above, her words indicate that she wants to seduce the off-screen listeners. The images included above are largely representative of these characters' raps, regardless of illustrator.

But on the flip side, other characters with large breasts or hips are never drawn in a sexual fashion. By way of comparison, here are two shots of Nemu rapping.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 12)

Even in shots with dynamic poses, no attention is drawn to Nemu's figure in any sort of provocative sense. Nemu touches her chest, drawing the reader's eye there, but the artist does not emphasize the size of her chest--they're allowing a chest touch to be no more than an emphasis of the self. At the same time, Nemu's body isn't downplayed. We can see in panel 2 on page 2 that Nemu has a small waist and wider hips, but once again, she isn't being sexualized. The action lines draw the reader's eye to Samatoki and thus put the action first and foremost. This creates the idea that not only can characters portray themselves sexually, but they can just as easily choose not to.

We see similar with Otome, who does not wear any sort of revealing clothing and is never shown in a sexual fashion. However, Hypmic doesn't equate revealing clothing to sexual portrayals either! While I wouldn't call Tsumabira's outfit revealing, she does have more visible cleavage than most Chuuouku figures. However, her bare chest is never sexualized like Ichijiku's.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 4)

Compare the non-emphasis on the chest and the power stance to any of the many shots of Ichijuku where her breasts are front and center in the camera. Speaking of power stance, Tsumabira remains confident in her power stance without being sexy--that is, no stepping on the camera and showing her whole leg.

Which isn't to say that Tsumabira is a sexless character. She's drawn visibly turned on by the male characters in such a way that is cartoonish but not, in turn, overly sexual. Were this supposed to be titillating to the reader, I would have expected to see a larger close-up on her face and tongue. However, the artist (who is no stranger to focusing on tongues!) devotes the majority of the panel to Tsumabira's body language (which, again, doesn't absurdly exaggerate any of her proportions or focus on her chest) and covers part of the mouth with text bubbles. Tsumabira is drawn as engaging in sexual behavior without being sexualized for reader entertainment.

(FP/M+ chapter 4)

The juxtaposition of such different views with little to no judgement attached to any of them suggests that it's perfectly okay to want to be sexy or not, to wear revealing clothing or not, to be involved in sexual situations without being the object of sexual interest, or to simply exist with an attractive body type without sex ever coming into the equation. Just as some characters choose to tie bodies to sexiness, some don't whatsoever--and either is perfectly fine!

The former idea ("I can choose to be sexy") may not sound especially revolutionary to US audiences, where sexuality is thrust upon women willingly or otherwise, but I find it fascinating because it lets the main characters embrace this idea without associated slut shaming. So much of Japanese media insists that women should be sexy but are also wrong for wanting to indulge in their own sexuality. Therefore, having characters who run virtually every iteration of take on the topic (I want to engage in sexuality and be sexualized, I want to engage in sexuality without being sexualized, I don't want to engage in either) with multiple body types (ie, Tsumabira isn't automatically not sexualized because she has a smaller chest; Nemu isn't automatically sexualized because she has a bigger chest) and no judgement involved feels like another breath of fresh air to me.

As a whole, I find the diversity of the Chuuouku uniforms and character appearances quite interesting. They're undeniably all feminine and relatively militaristic, but different characters wear entirely different wardrobes. Skirts vs pants, blouses vs dresses, high heels vs boots... Since every character has her own take on the common theme, it once again feeds into the idea that each character is her own individual and perfectly valid for defining femininity in her own way.

Haircuts, too, range from longer and more feminine hairstyles to pixie cut-esque looks.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 16)

Again, nothing of the framing suggests this short-haired woman is in any way different from her longer-haired counterparts on the edges of this screenshot.

Finally, while most Chuuouku women are conventionally attractive, I find it extremely compelling that Haebaru is a stereotype of an unattractive Japanese woman. To be extremely clear, I do not think these stereotypes should have weight, but the combination of chubby and/or muscular build, freckles, rounded nose, and non-glossy hair is often used as a visual shorthand for unattractive or otherwise undesirable women.

Sure, it's not fantastic that Haebaru is a scheming, two-bit villain. However, so is virtually every other female character in the series, and in particular, Haebaru is (the conventionally attractive) Tsumabira's counterpart. Both are treated with the same respect or lack thereof, suggesting that one's appearance has nothing to do with your ability to be a no-good baddie. Ha ha ha.

It would be lovely if the female characters were fleshed out further and given intelligent choices and diversity outside of the realms of physical appearance. However, I do think the writers' choices are limited by virtue of all women automatically being antagonistic side characters (which, again, is another discussion altogether). What the writers can and have accomplished is further reinforcing a celebration of differences. Just as there's no one right way to be a man, there's an infinite number of ways to be a scheming snake of a woman HAHA.

Intersection with LGBT+ Topics

Unfortunately, this is a very binary look at gender and gender roles, which, while largely representative of the current state of Japanese media, can be disappointing.

Hypmic appears to want to steer shy of LGBT+ topics as a whole, which is a bit of a shame. In a story so focused on gender and acceptance of diversity, it seems the natural next step to explore the notion of those who experiences don't align with a strict gender binary. Such stories are growing in popularity in Japanese media but have yet to be anywhere near the mainstream acceptance in US media (which is still in a fledgling stage at best). I would imagine Hypmic's writers are unable or unwilling to take a definite stance on these topics in the work due to fears of financial or career backlash. If nothing else, the sexuality of the main characters needs to remain in a limbo in order to have plausible deniability for both self-shipping and shipping with other characters. (Some deniability may be more plausible than others.)

The few instances in which Hypmic does wander into this territory are usually clumsy. I am no fan of the handful of scenes where male/male attraction is supposed to be funny purely by virtue of being male/male.

The inclusion of Urumi, the one minor character explicitly LGBT+, is not stellar either. I am hesitant to apply any definite label to her, as the real-life people her stereotype portrays self-identify as everything from trans women to cis men--or refuse to use these English labels at all! Still, we know from her profession (proprietor of a bar heavily implied to be a gay bar by the neighborhood it's in), appearance (poofy permed hair, exaggerated make-up), and demeanor (feminine speech style, a bit flirtatious) that she's AMAB and choosing to present herself in a feminine fashion. By writing Jirou to ask, "Aren't you a man?" in an exasperated fashion, the writers have put her gender presentation in a boke role--suggesting she's over-the-top, exaggerated, comedic. It's not great. I completely understand why readers find it offensive (and it is) even while I don't think the writers intended it that way. Ultimately, it would have been great to see other explicitly LGBT+ characters portrayed without the joking angle.

With that said, I'm not entirely unhappy with her character. She is a stereotype, but the authors have chosen to take only the visual elements of the stereotype and leave the rest on the cutting room floor. In other works of fiction, characters like Urumi are often hypersexual to the point of being in-universe creepy, especially towards underage boys. Other times, characters like her may be eccentric or off-putting in other ways. However, that's not at all the case here. Urumi seems to play a helpful big sister/aunt role in Jirou's life, and he's clearly comfortable enough with her to spend the night at her bar.

(BB/MTC+ chapter 17. "Sorry, but can I shack up here again tonight?" "Of course you can.")

While she seems to engage in some sort of a bohemian lifestyle, as evidenced by the alcohol and smoking, it isn't anything outside of what many of the other characters do. Additionally, while she isn't drawn in a flattering fashion in scenes where she's playing up her persona (which is par for the course with any character in this series, regardless of gender), there are plenty of neutral shots of her being serious. Finally, the art is never outright rude--that is, she isn't drawn exaggeratedly masculine or flamboyantly...snakey? I don't know how to describe this to anyone who's lucky enough to have never seen this--clearly LGBT+ AMAB characters drawn with noodly limbs and huge, overblown lips winding around male characters.

Maybe because I see so much worse continuing to be produced in this day and age, I feel like Hypmic could have done a much, much worse job with this character. She overall plays a positive role and is treated with much the same care as other side characters. It's unfortunate, then, that the writers have chosen to make her gender presentation the subject of a joke.

In other frustrations, I heavily dislike the unnecessary gender divide in background characters. All punks and other background baddies are male, whereas all adoring fans are female. (But Rhyme Anima has done an interesting job of subverting this!) The vast majority of other background figures fall into strict gender roles, which is likewise disappointing. It appears that diversity may be an accepted trait for none but a lucky few that form the main Hypmic cast.

All in all, I don't think Hypmic's portrayal of gender roles is groundbreaking, nor do I think it's fair to suggest that all Japanese pop culture plays into strict gender roles. There are certainly many Japanese works, popular or otherwise, with much more interesting things to say about gender. However, when compared to the vast majority of the titles that cross my desk on a regular basis, I notice and appreciate the level of care put in to Hypmic's commentary on gender roles. The work consistently reinforces the notion that it's okay to be your own individual, no matter how that plays into your gender, and I find that freeing. That's a message we could all do to hear more often, regardless of culture and language.

TL;DR: Oh no, my rapidly approaching deadline. :)

[chelryu]

content warnings: none

tags: jing yuan x reader, gender-neutral reader (mention of reader in a nightgown), mutually assumed unrequited desire to reconnect, implied childhood friendship, jing yuan is an over-thinker, but he's still outwardly suave, reader has a tiny bit of personality (described as quiet)

a/n: some background - reader left the luofu a long time ago and returned recently

————————————————————————

it was deep into the night, and jing yuan had yet to fall asleep. he alternated between staring up at the ceiling and at the back of his eyelids, but whether his eyes were closed or not, it was still dark, so he could not tell if he was asleep or awake, and it was the confusion between asleepness and awakeness that regrettably confirmed his awakeness.

his knowledge of the darkness in his bedroom nearly drove him to a mild frustration, because there was nothing keeping him awake nor allowing him to sleep. the darkness made everything turn into nothing, and so his heart swelled with yearning.

uncharacteristically, he decided to abandon his bed. he changed out of his sleep clothes into his usual leisure outfit, stepped out of his house, and followed the streetlights until he stood in front of your home instead.

it was slightly absurd, he mused to himself, that he would find himself outside your door spurred by a moment of loneliness. he had long grown used to the holes in his heart left behind by his departed friends. though there were three who were still alive, they had all changed, and could not properly fill the cavities.

but you had reappeared in his life, almost the same as you were the last time he saw you centuries ago. perhaps a little milder and more withdrawn than he remembered, but largely the same.

he supposed, then, that his sudden visit was due to pure selfishness. he was not willing to let go of his newfound chance to heal the centuries-old loneliness, which your reappearance had turned from a constant dull ache to intense occasional flare-ups. he was, in some way, using you to deal with it before it starts to cause him problems. but you had returned to the luofu instead of staying at the yaoqing, to the same home you stayed at so long ago—surely you must have been thinking of him? surely you must have been remembering the way you would bump into each other on the way to school, your quiet self trailing behind him, staring at the back of his shoes…

you had always been quiet, so when he pressed the doorbell, it surprised him. it rang out, imploring, louder than he expected for someone who tended to disappear into quietude. or perhaps, it was loud precisely because you were quiet, so then he could be sure that you were not simply a mirage?

he waited a moment. when the door opened, the silence of the night seemed to bear down on him more heavily. you reminded him that he was lonely. his loneliness flared up.

unaware of his aching heart, you gazed at him with your usual placidity. you stood framed by your doorway, in your night dress and a simple silk ribbon in your hair, blinking the bleariness from your eyes. it was a simple gesture, a simple mode of dress, but he delighted in the comfort of the sight.

“general. what brings you here?” you asked, the words slow and thick in your sleep-stiff mouth.

your voice was like a clear stream of water in the thick quietude of night, a sound that would decidedly put him to sleep.

so he mustered up the courage, something he never usually lacked, to invite himself inside. you let him without resistance, and his heart jumped.

“i could not sleep,” he confessed.

you closed the door behind him, your gentle hand on the doorknob keeping it from making a sound. “i’ll pour some tea. it will help you sleep,” you said, before disappearing into your kitchen.

you returned soon with a teapot and one cup, and he felt guilty seeing that there was only one cup. he wondered if you had done it on purpose. he wondered if you did a lot of things on purpose, to show him that you too had been hurt because he was complicit in your separation by not searching for you.

you poured the tea for him. the stream from the spout that splashed into the teacup was like your voice. he listened to it and calmed himself.

he gladly brought the cup to his lips. but as he watched you from over the rim, you who distractedly stared at nothing, his loneliness flared up again.

he did not come for the purpose of speaking to you, but to somehow make himself sleepy. to remind himself that there was someone beyond the darkness of his bedroom and put his confusion to rest. but now that he was in your home, sitting with you by a steaming teapot, he was unsure if he had made the right choice to come here.

“i apologise for disturbing your sleep.” you are not obligated to comfort me with your presence, he meant, although he wasn’t entirely sure if you were even aware that he found comfort in your presence.

“it’s no issue.” i enjoy your company, you meant, because you had missed him too.

but the both of you did not dare to assume the secret meanings of each other’s words, and thus you were both stuck in an awkward position.

awkwardness was tiring, especially so in the middle of the night. before long, you felt yourself jerk awake, which made you realise that you had briefly succumbed to sleep.

embarrassed, you looked towards jing yuan, who gave you a small, amused smile. “i’ll get going soon, so that you can go back to bed.” i want to stay, but if it troubles you, i will leave.

to his relief, you shook your head. “stay as long as you like.”

he refilled his teacup, and feeling bold, lifted it to your mouth. he was relieved again when you drank from it. he watched your lips press against the ceramic, the movement of your throat as you swallowed, and decided that he was content even in the awkwardness.

however, when you fell asleep again, this time on the table with your head nestled in the crook of your elbow, jing yuan found himself conflicted. he wanted to stay longer, perhaps even fall asleep with you, but it surely must be uncomfortable to sleep by the table. he would have to carry you to your bed, and he would have to leave immediately after, because he was nothing but a gentleman. he could not yet invite himself into the space where you slept.

still, he decided to prolong his stay, sipping his tea as slowly as he could, mulling over the view of the moon outside your window, and the quiet sound of your breathing in the quiet house. he did so until he could no longer bear the knowledge that you slumbered beside him with your neck crooked uncomfortably.

he set down his cup, unfinished, and carried you to your bed.

[shootingstarwritings]

Body a Day #6: Mirror

Milo was the successful CEO of an established tech company. Blessed with three beautiful children, he lived life with no care in the world. It was only when he, deep into his 50’s yet still looking and feeling virile, went to the doctor’s that he discovered that he was going to die.

“It’s terminal,” said the doctor, offering his deepest condolences as he broke the news. He continued on, giving him an explanation regarding the illness, but Milo wasn't listening. His mind was still racing. He only responded when the doctor asked, “Would you like us to contact your family members?”

“No thank you, doctor. I have… a procedure for this. Family tradition, to be exact,” said Milo as he stared off into the distance. He thanked the staff and made his way home, glancing at himself in every passing reflection he could.

Arriving home in his penthouse suite, Milo sat down on his couch with a drink in hand. He stared out into the city skyline on a perfect sunset. On a normal day, he wouldn’t have given it a second glance. Now, all he could do was stare, transfixed by the transient sight, lost in his thoughts.

Which of my sons should I leave my inheritance to?

Milo was a father of three, but the youngest child, a girl by the name of Melanie, was not an option. That left two options: Matthew—who preferred Matt—and Mortimer—who didn’t like to be called Mort.

“Matthew’s a strong candidate, but Mort has his own little charms,” Milo muttered to himself, hoping that the crackling of the fire on his TV screen would help his concentration. He swirled a wine glass filled with a sugary grape juice as he hummed to himself. He wasn’t thinking particularly hard, but he figured that this was what all great thinkers usually looked like before getting hit by an epiphany, so there was merit to copying them in his current dilemma.

And yet, Milo found himself far too indecisive. After going through an entire jug of grape juice, he wandered over to his bathroom and began to monologue to his attractive face in the mirror. “Oh, my dying self,” he began, thinking back to his past as a theater actor. What should happen to my darling company and all my struggles? Will they vanish to the wind, nothing but hollow husks as they erode into dust?” He continued for quite a while before leaning into the mirror and giving it a quick kiss. “Oh, only you could understand someone like me…”

It had only been a few years since the entity was reborn as Milo. It wasn’t difficult to take over the rich CEO, but if he had known that Milo’s body would expire so quickly, he would’ve taken over one of the rotten kids earlier. Mel was still in college, but Matthew and Mort were already in high positions in the companies that Milo owned. They were set for life. However, Milo’s indecisiveness often held him back from just making a choice and doing it. Hell, taking over Milo was a choice that took about a week between him and his business partner, Niles.

Both were attractive, but after seeing Milo lounging around the steps on the company, the entity made its choice.

While the (relatively) brief period of time as Milo was great, part of that was thanks to all the cumshots Niles had pumped into his aged yet virile ass, now that it was coming to an end, Milo found himself in despair.

That was when the epiphany finally struck. Milo ran towards his room and gathered the necessary materials for the ritual. It only took about an hour to arrange everything properly. The candles were lit, the blood (hidden beneath a secret compartment in the freezer) was used and evaporated properly, and soon a burst of magic echoed into the night. Milo’s magic always looked like purple mist that smelled faintly of lavender.

“So, my other self,” Milo said, grinning at his own reflection. “Which one of my children do you wish to give your inheritance to?”

“Mmm…” said the other Milo, although it was ridiculous for them to be referred to as the ‘other.’ They weren’t two halves of a whole, but two congruent images of a soul. It was Milo and Milo. Any differences were quirks in the spellcraft and little more. “It’s amazing how we’ve ended up twice as indecisive with two of us. So instead, how about we flip a coin?”

Fate was a harsh mistress, but when looking at it from the perspective of ‘one Milo per son,’ then there was no reason for either of them to complain.

Matthew sounded excited when Milo dialed him up on the phone. “I’ll be right over there, my dear father,” he said with a honeyed yet forced voice. He was kind, considerate, and prideful to a fault; he was always so sure that his kind demeanor and charisma would give him a golden ticket through life, ignoring just how much of his father’s fortune and influence allowed him to fly through life.

There was a bit of guilt for Milo, as he had genuinely grown attached to these children that weren’t his, but he didn’t want to die. He had never died while possessing a host, and he didn’t want to risk the consequences of doing so. The worst thought was being trapped inside the dead host, unable to escape the prison of flesh as it slowly rotted away… turning into dust like that of Ozymondias’ kingdom.

Ash to ash… dust to dust… Those words always made a shudder creep down his spine. It was nerve-wracking. Horrifying. No, Milo needed to do this. They needed to do this. “Relax, myself,” his reflection assured him, smiling despite the anxiety in his eyes. “You u are no loonger alone. If one of us were to perish, the other would save him. Remember that, okay?” he said with a wink.

Milo nodded and waited for Matthew to arrive. When he did, Milo wasted no time guiding him towards his room, where a special mirror was awaiting him. As Matthew walked inside, he asked, “Why in your room, dad?” He looked around and took a quick whiff. “Hmm… it’s a nice smell. Is that… orange…?” Amazingly, Matthew wandered the room on his own, looking around various trinkets and decorations that Milo had gathered even since taking on his most recent host. “You’ve got quite the odd collection, dad. It’s… uh… huh…?” It was inevitable, but he walked right in front of the mirror.

“Must be a strange sight, huh?” said Milo, leaning against the door frame and shooting out an email from his phone. A bright light flooded the room, which made him glad that he wasn’t looking directly at it. He could hear a panicked scream from the eldest son, but Milo just shrugged and continued to look away. He knew that Matthew saw his father’s reflection instead of his own, and then saw the same image burst out of the mirror and flood his younger and more virile body.

“Quick, to the mirror!” Milo’s other half, now Matthew, cried out. For whatever reason—perhaps a fundamental law of the universe—Milo could feel his essence beginning to vanish. Was it because he was lacking a reflection? Most likely. But Milo didn’t have much time to think. He uttered a quick incantion and then jumped through the glass as though it was a pool of water. Immediately, the sensation of his very molecules being pulled apart as though being ravaged by some invisible, fearsome beast. “Phew, that was close,” said Matthew as he looked down at the panting, sweaty mess that was Milo.

“Sh-Shut up…”

“Hey, you’re alive, right?” grinned Matthew. “All right, I’m gonna give Mort a call and get him to come by. In the meantime, sit tight and get ready, ok?”

Milo sat up and looked around. Anything that was beyond what the mirror reflected was just a gray, foggy void. Essentially, he was trapped in that small pocket of a reflection until someone else looked into the enchanted mirror. “Not like I have much of a choice,” he said, looking down to see a phone with all the numbers and symbols mirrored, making it difficult to read. It also lacked any reception, which made enough sense to piss Milo off. “Just don’t take too long. Hey! Pay attention!” he shouted as the new Matthew began to strip and check out his new, stolen goods.

It took far too long to get Matthew back in control. Maybe I really should’ve recommended for him to get tested for ADHD. I had my suspicions when I took over his father for the first time, thought Milo, reflection on the oldest son’s behavior once more. But eventually Matthew dialed up Mort’s number, who picked up with his usual greeting. “Don’t call me Mort,” he said just before Matthew eagerly greeted him with a “Heya, Mort!”

The two went back and forth, and Milo, despite being in what was essentially a reality away, could still make out most of what Mort said due to all the exasperated yelling. Matthew went wildly off-script, but all it took was a mention that he was over at Milo’s place talking business for Mort to suddenly cry out, “I’m on my way! Hold up.”

Milo and Matthew shared amused smirks and awaited the middle son’s arrival. They didn’t have to wait long. Mort arrived just 20 minutes later, panting and sweay from most likely running up the stairs—forgoing the building’s elevator. “Where’s dad?!” he cried, pushing past his brother and stomping around the apartment. Matthew gestured towards Milo’s open room door, and Mort rushed inside. “Father, I have my reservations regarding—the fuck…? W-Woah, AHHH!”

~o~

Months after Milo’s funeral, Melanie found herself enjoying a family dinner for the first time in what felt like decades. The siblings had gone out for dinner and not a single fight occurred the entire meal! Melanie could feel her blood pressure lowering the more she found herself engaged pleasant talk with her siblings. They smiled, joked, and showed that they were listening to her stories. Not longer did they roll their eyes, check their phones, or just not even bother paying attention to her and instead bring up complicated business deals and numbers to each other, pointedly ignoring her.

After the meal, the three returned to Matt’s home and played a few cards game. Melanie found herself on a bit of a lucky streak by the end of night, managing to get to 21 during the last few rounds of Blackjack.

“It’s been frankly amazing!” she said to her siblings as they walked her to her husband’s car. “I can’t remember the last time we had so much fun. I…” she paused and choked back a sob. Matt pulled her in for a side-hug while Mort told her that the two of them promised each other that they’d get along better.

“Dad wouldn’t have wanted us to keep on fighting,” he told her, smiling with eyes twinging with regret. “Just wish he could see us getting along better.”

Melanie reached out and gripped Mort’s hand. “Something tells me that he can. And I’m sure he’s proudly looking down on us. Thanks for everything, you two. Good night.” With those parting words, Melanie joined her husband. She didn’t notice the knowing look Matt and Mort gave each other.

“Well my dear brother,” began Matt as he looked through his closet. After the funeral, Matt made sure to take all of his old clothes from his days as Milo. No reason to let such fashionable fabrics go to waster, after all. “Glad we made our dear sister smile again. I think tonight was a Mission Accomplished. Oooh, I think this one fits the new me,” he said as he put on a floral-patterned Hawaiian shirt, unbuttoned of course, and a pair of cargo shorts. He showed them off to Mort, making sure to flex to show off his core muscles. “I think the try-hard, sweat-lord life is behind me now that my dad has passed on and left so much money and influence to me. It’s time to just relax and cruise on by.”

Mort chuckled as he stripped off most of his shoes, content with just a pair of briefs that snugly hugged his crotch. “Of course, dear brother… my other half…” he said, lying back and letting out a relaxed sigh. “These bodies of ours were so exhausted when we got to them. They deserve a vacation, don’t they?”

Matt climbed on the bed and lied on top of Mort’s, who let out a moan. “That they do, Mort. So let’s give it to them.” They pulled each other close and kissed. Their hands went wild as they explored each other’s body for what could’ve easily been the 20th time, their lustful expressions identical. For once, Matt and Mort were equals in the other’s eyes; they became mirrored halves that made the other whole.

[aurekiwi]

Hello kiwi ! Can you do fs reading on jk ?

Thnk you 😇🙏

𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

welcome to another reading by your favorite intuitive reader, kiwi! i was quite hesitant about this reading because of how tense bts tarot feels, but i realized that i'll have requests about jungkook and bts regardless in the future and thought i might as well try it out.

𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐰𝐢 | masterpost | support kiwi

before you read: please remember that i'm only one tarot reader. this reading was done with the best of my abilities and intentions, and i most definitely do not want to cause problems for jungkook, the future spouse, or any of you.

to start off, i asked my tarot deck Yume for a figure card that represents jungkook's future spouse. i received Balance, and the back of the deck was Harpy Eagle.

Balance: Balance sits outside of this duality. They follow their vibration, their own story. They can often be positive, revealing the good that sits inside us all. They can also be gloomy as they give in to the dark emotions that lie feral, waiting to attack. Balance sits somewhere in between. They know what it is like to carry both sides. Balance blends the best and the worst presenting us all a new opportunity to experience the whole of creation.

jungkook's future spouse is an open-minded individual who is emotionally intelligent, striving for balance within their every day life. they are aware of the fact that life has both its positives and negatives, and they must learn to adapt to them and find the greatness within each new experience. jungkook's future spouse is one who does not let their troubles stop them from moving forward towards what they truly love. others may perceive that they are ever-changing and mysterious- they have learned to maintain a neutral perspective and stance no matter the situation. i am sensing that jungkook's future spouse may be spiritual or religious due to the card's imagery of a woman whose hands are in the shape of yin and yang, with the universe making up her body. they are very wise and caring, feeling driven to help provide their sense of balance to others, whatever form that may be.

Harpy Eagle: The Harpy Eagle comes to you via visions in your sleep time and your waking days. When it appears, heed the message and take a good look at what is out of balance in your life. Take stock of your life. Are you where you want to be emotionally, physically, and financially? Now is the time to envision where you want to be and who you want in your life.

jungkook's future spouse seems to put a lot of focus on the idea of "balance," as it is mentioned by this card as well. they are very reflective of their circumstances in their day-to-day life and strive to improve by thinking about what they insight they may be lacking. this card also seems to clarify that jungkook's future spouse is a spiritual or religious person who has spiritual dreams that guide them in times of need. jungkook's future spouse desires to take control over their life, giving me a feeling that they may struggle with issues of control, power dynamics, addiction(s), and unhealthy habits. they may be a logical person and very hard on themselves, often moving through a hard situation without complaints by focusing on this idea of "balance" and "self-improvement." they are a future-oriented thinker, and they are excited to see how their current actions towards change will impact their future. in terms of their views on love, my understanding is that the future spouse wants deep and committed love but is currently unavailable to it due to past hurts and their dreams and career aspirations.

next, i asked my tarot deck Snow White for some cards that would help us learn about jungkook's future spouse. i received: temperance, two of pentacles, the tower, three of wands, and the star.

jungkook's future spouse is a very balanced and fair individual. as mentioned above, they may have had unhealthy habits and tendencies in the past, or they may have been exposed to an unhealthy power dynamic that has resulted in them focusing heavily on their idea of "balance." they try to stray away from substance abuse and other unhealthy habits/decisions by pursuing the temperance energy. in general, they are a very busy person. i see them being very quick with their decisions. the ace of swords card to me within this context, makes me think that jungkook's future spouse is often someone who gets into their head and likes to think and reflect about a lot of different things. once they make a decision, i see them being very fast about chasing after their goals and making their decision become their reality as quick as possible. that makes them pretty pre-occupied, however, they work very hard to make sure to spend time with their friends and loved ones. they may keep a small circle of close friends and have them as their support system, and they are the type of person who would be truly happy for your accomplishments and successes rather than being jealous. they have a lot of love for those that matter a lot to them and make sure to show that those they love, are loved.

the tower tells me that they have had quite a turbulent life which explains the unhealthy dynamics and habits that i sensed in a previous portion of the reading. i asked for some clarification, and i received the three of swords and the empress, which makes me think that their love and support has oftentimes been taken for granted and unappreciated. they may have found that they are usually the nurturing, caring, and understanding mother figure in many people's lives. with friends, that would mean the "mom friend" or "the therapist friend" who is always there to listen to your worries. i'm also sensing that within a family setting, it would be the person who is holding the family together, the bandange, or the mediator who has to step in whenever there is conflict. their life has been full of being broken down to the ground and constant rebuilding, each time an improved version of themself. this is actually quite admirable of them, and this signifies to me that regardless of their actual age, they are a very wise and mature person. plus, jungkook's future spouse seems to embody the empress energy, so they may attract a lot of people in general or people may really like them for those qualities as well.

the three of wands signifies a visionary, also higher studies/education and traveling. they may travel to different countries/land either to pursue higher studies or they may just like traveling or have family members scattered in different parts of the world. i'm also sensing that they may come from a diverse background, as in they may be living in a country that is not their culture's or their home country, motherland, or mother tongue. intuitively, they seem surrounded by wand or fire energy, so a city/state/province/country that has quite strong masculine/patriarchal energy. it can also mean that the place they are from is generally dry/warm/hot. they are obviously a very intelligent individual, so higher education also seems quite possible. this means that they are not "too" young as some may wish- they are probably at a minimum in college, or are in professional/graduate school or working. they are a very respectable person, and after interacting with their energy, it makes me understand why so many people are already so interested in them.

lastly, the back of the deck was the star. the star card comes after the tower in the major arcana- it represents a sense of hope, enlightenment, and happiness after a storm has passed. jungkook's future spouse seems to have a positive mindset about their struggles. people around them may perceive as someone who learns to see the good in any situation and appreciate the good of their current circumstances, even if it may be horrible for them. they are humble and are very patient. they choose to believe that the chaos and disaster breed blessings and good fortune (wheel of fortune) within their life. they always learn to be grateful and resilient. they shine bright like a star as well, and i suddenly see jungkook's eye and how they turn wide at the sight of his future spouse. they seem to have this glow around them... a beautiful, mysterious, alluring aura that makes them so attractive in his eyes. the imagery of the star card also makes me think that they have a very feminine energy, and they are an empath and a healer. there is lots of water which i interpret as intuition, emotions, and creativity, which are qualities that they may have that sets them aside from others. their career or area of study may be related to the star card's qualities.

[siderealcity]

I want to do sort of a deep dive on the character of Wuk Lamat. In a few posts, I've talked about how much Dawntrail parallels Heavensward. But in this case, I want to talk about how Wuk Lamat parallels Aymeric. Spoilers and lengthy rambling under the cut.

When we first meet Wuk Lamat, we are clearly meant to mistake her for sort of a carefree dumb jock. She wanders off before her important introduction because she's too busy oggling the scenery. She thinks with her stomach. She's not paying attention. She's all bluster and talk, but kind of a scaredy cat. This is all just a fun vacation to her. That's deliberate. We're meant to underestimate her. It's why we have that heart-to-heart scene with G'raha debating whether or not we should really be getting involved in her bid for the throne -- literally not a question we have ever been asked about any other political figure we've helped anywhere. We get asked this twice about Wuk Lamat. Once by G'raha and once by Erenville, and then again, later, we get asked our opinion of her qualifications by her dad, the ruler of Tural.

We are meant to feel that she doesn't know what she's doing. Because she doesn't. None of them do.

So, by comparison, let's look at Aymeric's introduction. When he first appears at Camp Dragonhead to meet with Alphinaud we know a few things about Ishgard via the MSQ and the side quests around Coerthas up until that point. The first thing is: Ishgard takes its church deadly seriously. Inquisitor Guillaime can literally just murder anyone he wants with very little evidence and nobody dares question it. The knights of the high houses may be splitting their attention between constant vigilance in their war against the dragons and constant vigilance in their power struggles against the other high houses, but if the church says jump, they're already in the air and falling off a cliff before anyone can ask how high. They haven't been part of the Alliance in decades, they don't talk to anyone, they murder their own people for asking questions. Our expectations going into our first meeting with an official representative of the Holy See, therefore, are not supposed to be positive.

And then the first words out of Aymeric's mouth to the WoL are fanboying at us. He talks circles around Alphinaud for the rest of the meeting, doesn't agree to do anything, and ends by asking us to watch a dead dragon for signs of suspicious activity. A request so baffling that Alphinaud even calls it absurd in the middle of a diplomatic meeting.

We are supposed to have doubts about him. That he knows what he's doing. That he's not just playing us for fools. Aymeric's introduction, just like Wuk Lamat's, establishes him as being kind of questionable as a leader and ally.

Unlike in Heavensward, we have no knowledge at all of Tuliyollal going into Dawntrail. So our first few beats of the MSQ are a high-level crash course in the place. But even before we get off the boat, we know that Wuk Lamat is considered the long shot in the rite of succession. In much the same way that we early on learn that Aymeric attained the position of Lord Commander of the Temple Knights despite his birth not being considered noble enough and over a more popular low-born contender for the job in Ser Zepherin. What we see of her during the storm, however, is that she is not only willing to act when she's so sick she can barely even stand, she will try to protect others, whether they're her people or not.

Our quick tour of the city sets the foundations for what's to come. The aetheryte is the work of her brother Koana, scholar, forward-thinker, techbro, and industrialist. The Landsguard, traditionally led by Tuliyollal's strongest warrior, are led by her brother Zoraal Ja, who has taken over the post from their father, meaning that he has already been acknowledged as being equal to their father in martial ability for three years now.

Wuk Lamat has no accomplishments at all.

And then we get to the bridge. And the Tuliyollal Saga. The legacy these claimants are trying to lay claim to is that of a peacemaker. Gulool Ja Ja actually is the leader that Thordan VII wanted to be. He's unified the disparate people of two entire continents who were at war for centuries, while the Holy See couldn't even unify the people inside one city. He's their hero-king. Almost revered as a living god by everyone you talk to. What Thordan thought he had to summon a primal to do, Gulool Ja Ja just did the hard way.

Here's where the parallels start to get interesting.

Aymeric, an orphan, was contending with the legacy of his father--a man who was related to him by blood, but who had never once acknowledged or cared for him. And that legacy consisted of a divide-and-conquer strategy: Keep the people divided so they can be more easily controlled, keep them tentatively "unified" against a common enemy so they don't have the impetus to rebel. The Dragonsong War was a necessary evil to Thordan because it kept the church in power.

Wuk Lamat, an orphan, is contending with the legacy of her father--a man who is not related to her by blood, but who had always acknowledged and cared for her. And that legacy consisted of collaboration. Between the peoples of Tural. Between himself and them. Between Reason and Resolve. And now his sons are trying to divide it up. Koana, even though he's well-meaning, is an illustration of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." He wants to improve life for his people, but he doesn't actually know them or what they want, or understand the consequences of his choices. Zoraal Ja, the imperialist, wants to be Thordan VII. He doesn't have his father's ability to be a hero-king because everything's already been solved, so he'll invent problems he can heroically solve for them.

Wuk Lamat is the only Promise who has no ideas for the future, because she's already happy in the present. What's wrong with how things are now?

So much of the first half of Dawntrail is an object lesson on what Tuliyollal actually is, and what it is not. That, peaceful as it is now, the legacy of war and conquest has scarred every culture. That the people still have lasting problems. They are not all happy now. Which is why most of them support her brothers -- they want change, and both the First and Second Promise are offering change. Wuk Lamat's kidnapping is the turning point for her in this regard because she is attacked by people who are desperate. Including, ironically, Bakool Ja Ja. She foolishly follows a bandit somewhere alone, when it's pretty obvious this is a bad idea, but it's not like she's ever been attacked by her own people before. The bandits do not know how to change their circumstances except through violence, and she didn't even know that kind of desperation existed in her nation. Even forward-thinking Koana instantly succumbs to anger when faced with them--it never occurs to him to even look for the problem they were facing, let alone solve it, until his sister does it first.

This is not a problem that can be solved with a sword. Or even a train line. You can't fight or technology away generational trauma.

Heavensward has some wonky pacing due to it attempting to resolve plot points from the Bloody Banquet, but it does much the same thing as Dawntrail. We take a road trip across Dravania to learn first-hand what the war is and what it isn't. The dragons are just people, and we meet the first ones who will actually talk to us. These cultures are all scarred by the legacy of war and betrayal and loss, and they don't know how to change their circumstances.

Honestly, Aymeric's sudden insistence on confronting his father after we kill Nidhogg is the weakest point in the plot. It seems to come out of nowhere. He has not, up until that point, demonstrated a tendency to be hot-headed, and this is such a stupid thing to do it borders on suicide. Everyone present in the scene tells him that, but he does it anyway, and this is the tragic mistake that leads directly to Haurchefant's death. But this moment, the moment that he learns the truth that was always there, the lie that his people have always been like this, is just as much a shocking revelation for him as the bandits are for Wuk Lamat. None of this ever had to happen. They were not always at war with the dragons. They were not always divided into highborn and lowborn.

This was never a problem that could be solved with swords or prayer.

Both Aymeric and Wuk Lamat embody contradictions. Aymeric is the leader of the Holy See's military who absolutely does not trust the Holy See at all and kind of hates the pope. He is not a paragon of and champion for the old order, like he's supposed to be. He's a diplomat in full plate armor with a sword, and a revolutionary in the highest position in the church. Wuk Lamat is an axe-wielding princess of peace. She's a nepo baby, but somehow also an orphan. She's not a thinker, she's all feels, and yet she looks for the deeper problems while her brothers settle for the surface precisely because she still feels a problem where reason says everything is fine. The difference between reason and resolve is a big, recurring thing in Dawntrail.

Aymeric tells us after the Shiva battle that he learned early on to see the difference between words, deeds, and beliefs, and that's exactly what Wuk Lamat learns to do over the course of the plot. Zoraal Ja and Bakool Ja Ja accept the idea that the Rite of Succession is a contest that can be won, and never question it. They are both competing in a scavenger hunt, and that's all they're doing. Wuk Lamat realizes even before the Feat of Pots that it's a lesson. The point is not just to win a little keystone. And, gradually, she takes the lesson more seriously than the contest, which is why she wins. She stops worrying about how well Zoraal Ja is doing around Earthenshire and starts worrying what her people have to give up for peace. Our big reveal, like the vision we have after killing Nidhogg, is the conversation with Gulool Ja Ja where he admits to us that he isn't going to name the winner successor unless they learn the lesson he's teaching them. The words were "contest" but the deeds were "follow in my footsteps." Koana starts to pick up on this because he sees Wuk Lamat doing so, and it's the realization that she understood the problem better than him that makes him yield his place in the Rite to her.

Reason can find a solution to the problem, but resolve is what finds the problem in the first place.

Aymeric, notably, tells us that he understands the difference between words, deeds, and beliefs, but then still falls for Thordan's speech. He doesn't have an answer when Thordan asks him what he can offer their people in place of a thousand years of certainty about who they are and why they're fighting, even though he feels that Thordan is still wrong. He doesn't have words for his resolve. He still has to learn to trust his feelings more than authority.

The second half of Dawntrail, like the second half of Heavensward, has Wuk Lamat stepping into a position of power that she doesn't really know how to wield, although for Aymeric this comes more in Dragonsong than in Heavensward. The surprise attack by Zoraal Ja on Tuliyollal mirrors the attack by Estinien at the peace summit--someone they used to trust, someone who used to be close to them, is now an enemy and proves it without any ambiguity, and now they're in constant danger of war. Now they're both left struggling to figure out how to pick up the pieces of a terrified nation that just lost its beloved leader. Aymeric is blamed for Thordan's death. The father that he always resented for abandoning him. He also clearly blames himself for Haurchefant's death, making his entire relationship with the Fortemps family extremely fraught. Wuk Lamat is not held responsible for the loss of her own father--who was killed by his own biological son, just like Thordan was, who resented him for not giving him the throne. She is, however, responsible for Sphene's death, and she knows it, even if the people of Alexandria do not. And she is well known to have killed Zoraal Ja, their king... although he was not nearly so well loved as Thordan. She's navigating a much more difficult, if so far less violent situation, caught between her own grief over losing her father, her conflicted feelings about her brother, her nephew, who likewise has very conflicted feelings about his father, and Sphene--the remorseless invader who wanted to harvest the souls of her people as fuel, but whom she nonetheless felt a connection to.

Aymeric, in Dragonsong, has to find a way to bridge the gap between peoples divided by a thousand years of war and lies, and Wuk Lamat has to bridge a gap between actually different worlds and views of life and death so dissimilar they border on irreconcilable.

I am interested to see where that goes, because there's no obvious enemy to fight in Dawntrail. We don't have a looming undead great wyrm waiting to destroy Tuliyollal, so we're not set up (at least right now in patch 7.1) to end this with a climactic battle. (Although maybe we're about to get a looming undead robot queen?)

Either way, this isn't a problem we can solve with swords.

[vampirae]

Stellium in the signs

A gathering of three or more planets in the same sign or house in a person's birth chart is referred to as a stellium in astrology. Stelliums provide a concentrated energy in that specific sector of a person's chart, which can have a tremendous impact on their personality and life experiences.

Stellium in Aries: an individual with the Aries stellium is likely to be active, ambitious, powerful, and assertive. They are competitive, driven, and frequently assume the initiative in a variety of spheres of their lives. They might like taking the lead on new endeavors and have a strong desire for independence.

Stellium in Taurus: people with a stellium in Taurus exude a realistic, determined, and grounded spirit. They place a lot of emphasis on financial stability, security, and sensual pleasures. These people frequently have a deep connection to the physical world and are trustworthy, patient, and reliable.

Stellium in Gemini: the energy of a Gemini stellium is inquisitive, versatile, and intellectually focused. These people are adaptable, friendly, and enjoy talking to others and exchanging ideas. They could be very diverse in their interests and be very good at things that call for quick thinking.

Stellium in Cancer: those who have this stellium are perceptive, sensitive, and nurturing by nature. They appreciate their home, family, and intimate relationships and are very emotionally connected. These people may prioritize emotional security and possess strong maternal or protective impulses.

Stellium in Leo: people with stellium in Leo have a lively, assured, and expressive vitality. They enjoy being the center of attention, are naturally creative, and have excellent leadership abilities. These people adore spreading happiness and warmth to others, and they thrive on recognition.

Stellium in Virgo: denotes a practical, analytical, and attention-to-details energy. These people have a strong sense of duty, are organized, and strive for perfection. They are excellent problem-solvers and critical thinkers, and frequently have a strong desire to help others.

Stellium in Libra: a harmonious, diplomatic, and friendly temperament characterizes a Libra stellium. Fairness, balance, and harmonious relationships are things they appreciate. These people are highly aesthetic, like the arts, and perform well in vocations that need teamwork.

Stellium in Scorpio: people with a Scorpio stellium possess powerful, transforming energy. They have a keen emotional understanding and are frequently drawn to mysteries and uncovering secrets. These people can grow profoundly personally and have great instincts.

Sagittarius Stellium: a Sagittarius stellium denotes a spirit of adventure, optimism, and philosophy. These people are intellectually curious, love learning about other cultures and belief systems, and have a strong desire for personal freedom. They may succeed in subjects like as education, travel, or spirituality.

Capricorn Stellium: capricorn stellium people are realistic, disciplined, and ambitious. They cherish established organizations and regulations, have a strong work ethic, and aim for long-term success. These people are dedicated and frequently have a natural capacity to lead.

Stellium in Aquarius: those with an Aquarius stellium have a distinct, autonomous, and imaginative vitality. They are frequently ahead of their time, believe in progressive ideals, and love being a part of a community. These people may thrive in areas such as technology, social action, or humanitarian concerns.

Stellium in Pisces: denotes a sensitive, creative, and sympathetic spirit. These people are very intuitive, typically have psychic talents, and have a strong sense of empathy. They are spiritual and creative, and may be inclined to artistic or therapeutic professions.

[thetarotwitch111]

Beetlejuice's advice - Pick a beetlejuice (Pick a card)

Happy Friday the 13th! 👻

✨help me keep doing the free pacs: tip jar

✨ personal readings - [requests open]

Good luck with Beetlejuice sweet advice...

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

Beetlejuice

Well, well, well! You’ve gone and picked this pile, huh? You must be ready to get wild! And I mean wild, baby! Here’s the deal: You’ve been holding back, trying to play it cool, but I can smell it on ya! you’re bursting to break free and let your instincts take over. Right now, life’s been a bit too tame, hasn’t it? Like a boring old dinner party with those dull folks in the afterlife. You know what I’m talking about!

It’s time to unleash that primal side of yours. Stop thinking, start acting! You’ve got this fire in you that’s been waiting to come out, so let it roar! Whether it’s chasing after a passion, saying what you really think, or just shaking things up, now’s your moment to own it. Don’t worry about making a mess. Look at me, I’m the king of messes, and it works out just fine! You wanna go after something? Do it! You’ve got the instincts of a predator, so go ahead and pounce.

Life’s too short to play by the rules, and you know what? Rules are for suckers! Break ‘em, make some noise, and watch how everything around you changes when you’re the one calling the shots. After all, it’s showtime, baby!

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

2. Beetlejuice

Oooh, look at you, picking this one. I can smell the love vibes from here! Someone’s looking for connection, huh? Whether it’s romance, friendship, or just some human contact, you’re in the mood for something deeper. And guess what? It’s coming your way faster than you can say Beetlejuice 3 times!

Right now, you’ve been feeling like something’s missing. You want more than the usual small talk and surface-level stuff. Well, here’s a little secret...when you let your guard down, the real magic happens! Show people that squishy center of yours, even if it makes you feel a little awkward. Hey, if I can try to marry a living one, then you can take a risk on love, right? Open yourself up, let people see the real you, and boom! You’ll attract the kind of connection that’ll make you feel alive again.

Whether it’s a deep friendship, a romantic spark, or just more fun, you’re gonna feel that spark light up soon. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone who loves a little chaos, just like me. So how about it? Any plans for a wedding soon? I’ve been trying to get hitched for a long time, but you…you’re a catch. Just saying.

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

3. Beetlejuice

Ahh, you’re one of the deep thinkers, aren’t ya? I can tell. You’re not just here for the easy level stuff, no sir! You want the real deal! the big answers to those cosmic questions! And let me tell ya, you’re on the right track. You know what they say: I’m the ghost with the most, babe, and I see some serious mystery heading your way!

You’ve probably been feeling a little tug, haven’t you? Something’s been calling you to dive deeper, whether it’s a gut feeling, a dream, or just that weird sense that there’s more going on than meets the eye. Well, spoiler alert: You’re right! You’re getting ready to tap into something big, and it’s gonna blow your mind. The universe is trying to show you the secret behind the curtain, and you’ve got front-row seats to the show!

So what’s next? Start paying attention. The signs are there! those strange little synchronicities, those moments that make you go, WTF. Yeah, that’s the universe talking to ya. Don’t ignore it! Follow the breadcrumbs, trust your gut, and dive headfirst into the unknown. You’re about to discover something big that’s gonna shake up how you see the world. And let me tell ya, it’s gonna be a ride you’ll never forget. Just remember: You’re dealing with a professional here!

[rue-dixon]

"Maybe I should just marry you then..."

Chilchuck x (Future) chilwife

(or reader/oc if you'd like to view it as that. But it is written about his canon wife.)

A conversation two childhood friends have, unaware of how their life will turn out when they're older.

Word count: 2930

Warnings: mentions of abuse and old values

His wife will be referred to as Bellana.

"Do you ever think about what happens after you die?" Chilchuck spoke.

Chilchuck and his childhood friend, Bellana sat at a river bank. Their shoes kicked off lazily next to them as they kicked their feet around in the cool water. It was a hot summer afternoon, Bellana had finished her chores around her families farm for the day at last. While Chilchuck had been released from his work for the day. So they met up like they always do, sitting under the shade of a large oak tree. Chilchuck's pants rolled up while Bellana pulled up her dress.

"Heavens, Chil." Bellana gasped, looking to him. Her fingers pressed to her chest. That being the very last thing she expected him to say.

"I'm serious." Chilchuck played with the tall grass around them. "I mean, something must be after death, right?"

"... maybe our spirits stay here." She shrugged, pulling her legs up to hug her knees. "They say ghosts are spirits who can't move on, perhaps we just never depart to begin with."

Chilchuck shrugged as well, "that seems depressing. Wandering around aimlessly forever." He stopped for a moment, taking a blade of grass he had plucked from the ground and swirling it around in the crystal like water.

"Do you believe in a god?"

Bellana looked to him, out stretching her legs once more. Her brows fround as she studied his face for a moment. Chilchuck was ever much of a "deep thinker", all he really focused on was working for his next meal. Despite them both being only ten years old, teenagers for halfings you could say. She wondered where all these deep life questions were suddenly coming from.

"Our ancestors say there were gods."

Chilchuck looked up at his best friend, letting the blade of grass go, causing it to float lazily down the stream.

"Do they?"

"Have your parents never told you this?" She titled her head.

Chilchuck averted his gaze, slightly irritated. She knew very well his situation. His father died three years ago. And his mother was always working.

"They didn't teach me much about anything if I'm being honest. Even when my old man was alive. Especially not things like this." He paused, "the only thing I learned from them was to work hard and not rely on anything but yourself."

He picked another blade of grass, fidgeting with it in his lap. Almost as a way to not have to look at her, which did not go unnoticed on her part.

Bellana frowned, she knew Chilchuck wasn't close with his parents. That's why all his free time was spent with her and her family. Even so, it was hard hearing it.

"My mama says there's a god for everything powerful. That way nobody can have too much power." She hummed, picking up a rock and tossing it into the water. The small stone hitting the surface with a small plopping sound. Splashing their legs.

Chilchuck's small scowl faltered. Despite these things being common religious beliefs and knowledge in their home village, she didn't look down on him for not knowing. She was patient, and sweet about it. Chilchuck had to subconsciously stop himself from smiling as he realized this.

"And how many of these gods are there exactly?" Chilchuck asked, continuing to pick at the grass.

"How should I know?" Bellana shrugged, the sass in her tone almost sounding childish.

"I'm just asking." He rolled his eyes a bit. "You don't gotta be a kid about it..."

"We are kids."

"We're practically adults now." Chilchuck sat up, crossing his arms.

"We're old enough to start thinking about this kind of stuff. We're not babies anymore who can't tie our own shoes."

"We have four more years." She huffed. Kicking the water again. Four more years. Four more years until they would reach age fourteen, the age where halfings are considered mature and are deemed adults by society.

Chilchuck let out an exasperated sigh, "Well- Yes, we are still kids. But that doesn't mean we should act like it."

Bellana shook her head, "you wish to be an adult too fast."

"And you don't want to grow up at all," Chilchuck retorted.

Even as a kid, it always bothered him how often Bellana was more than happy to cling onto whatever childhood she had left. Chilchuck couldn't even recall the last time he had felt any sort of childlike freedom. Maybe it was jealousy, jealous that she still gets to act like a child under her parents' protection. While he had been working to feed himself since he was physically able.

"What reason would I not? All adult halfing, woman do is bare children, serve their husbands and weep because he does not treat her well." She crossed her arms, glaring at the water. Speaking the reality of the roles halfing woman must succumb to in their villages society. Not everywhere was like this of course, but their isolated village was old fashioned in many ways. Heavily believing the old ways, back when other races barely interacted, were better.

Chilchuck's annoyance completely faded at hearing her words. His stomach dropped when he realized that she wasn't exaggerating. He had never really thought of what life ahead could possibly look like for her. Just assuming in the back of his mind she'd always be a farmer's daughter.

"Bel." He said, his voice firm. "That.. that can't be true. Women do so much more than that."

"Not in this village they don't." She grumbled, she was silent a moment before continuing. "That's all they tell us from the moment we are born. All we are here for is to be good wives and give our husband many children." Even through her angry gaze at the ground, she could feel herself wanting to cry. Her throat tightening as she fought back tears.

"It's not fair..." she whispered.

Chilchuck was silent for a few moments before he spoke up again, still firm but with a softer tone than before as he stared at her, but she still refused to make eye contact with him.

"Well, that's not true. Your parents and everyone else who says those things are wrong."

"It's not like I have a choice..." she mumbled. "No woman works in this village without being shamed." Even your own mother. Is what she wanted to add, but reframed from it. She slowly looked up, looking at the sky that poked between the leaves. "I can only hope whatever man I marry will treat me well... be loyal and won't raise a hand to me..." she murmured.

Chilchuck's heart broke at hearing this. He hated seeing how miserable she suddenly was. He wished there was more he could do besides trying to lift her up and comfort her. However in the long run, there was nothing he could do to save her from her possible fate.

"Hey," he began, grabbing her shoulders, she jumped a bit, turning her upper body to finally look at him. "Listen to me. Not every man is like that, I swear to you. Any man who lays his hands on a woman like that is no real man. Not all of us are unfaithful cheaters either, if they are they're just cowards and idiots."

Bellana stared at him for a moment, her dark, normally hooded eyes seemingly more wide. Taking in his serious expression and somewhat panicked body language. Her eyes studying all of him, as if she was trying to figure something out. The intensity of her gaze couldn't help but make Chilchuck feel somewhat uneasy.

"... you'd be a good husband, wouldn't you..?" Her voice was soft.

Chilchuck was frozen for a second, his cheeks turning pink at her comment.

"Uh..." He suddenly realized how close they were, her soft breathes fanned his cheeks gently. Tight hands still on her shoulders from trying to hold her attention.

Chilchuck quickly let go and put some distance between them, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to calm his sudden flustered face. The muddy ground almost causing him to slip in his sudden motion. Low friction against him and the ground caused him to not end up getting as far from her as he would've liked.

"I-I- um..." Chilchuck mentally cursed himself for his stuttering. It's been happening more and more lately every time he talked to Bellana. Big brown eyes darting to everything but her face.

Bellana frowned more and looked ahead of her again. Staring into the distant forest that kissed the other side of the river bank. Resting her folded arms on top her knees once more.

"I suppose it doesn't matter in the end. I doubt we can still be friends once we both have our own husband and wife."

Chilchuck's shoulders slumped when he heard that. He hated this, he hated how they were both expected to get on with their own separate lives eventually. Just because of what was 'expected.'

"Why," he began, crossing his arms around his knees as well, "why can't we just... stay friends?"

"Your wife would never let you share your private time with another woman. And my husband would think I am a whore for spending time with another man." She looked down at her feet, as she dipped her toes into the water. Swirling a them around and splashing it upwards. Although Bellana's face and voice were as calm as the river before them. The unsettling feeling of despair and doom that chained her heart down was not being ignored by her. However her strong demeanor was not broken.

Chilchuck's hands clenched against his arms. He hated that Bellana was right. Any women he married would most likely get jealous and any man Bellana married would most definitely be possessive. He didn't know many, or any, adults in the village that had close friends with the opposite gender. If they did, it was their spouses friends, not theirs.

It hurt to think about. That he wouldn't be able to stay friends with her once they were both married. Chilchuck cursed himself again when he felt frustration build up and tears at the corners of his eyes. He quickly blinked them away before they could fall.

"Well, why don't we just... not get married?" Chilchuck suddenly suggested, his voice betraying the slightest bit of desperation.

Bellana looked at him before bursting into fits of laugher.

"Not get married? Yes, perhaps you could manage. Move away from here, or start your own business. But for me? It's either a husband or nothing. Be on the streets when my father dies, begging passing families for their moldy bread." Her laughter died down as she leaned back on her hands. Although she had a smile on her face, she was anything but happy about the situation. Having excepted her fate as a child, as most woman did, she could do nothing but laugh at the thought.

Chilchuck's shoulders sagged in disappointment as he crossed his legs together. Last ditch effort he had, had fallen flat. It was a far-fetched plan to begin with. Besides the alternative, wanting to yell it at the top of his lungs. "Let's get married!", but he feared only laughter would be thrown at his face if he did.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath. He felt defeated, he didn't really know what more he could do, as just a boy and as her childhood friend. There wasn't much he could do.

Chilchuck didn't want to lose her, he didn't want to watch her get married off to some idiot who didn't even treat her right. He truly wanted her to be safe and happy. A selfish part of him wanted her to be happy and safe with him, and him only.

"Maybe it won't be so bad." Bellana suddenly spoke up, staring at her finger as she poked holes in the mug, kicking the water with her feet still.

"We'll see each other at the village dances, and around the markets still." She hummed.

Chilchuck was silent for a moment, thinking over her words. Realistically, she was right. They'd still be able to see each other. Still, the thought of never being able to spend time together, just the two of them in the small moments that they do have... hurt. Only ever having contact with small "hello? How are you? Good, me too." As they walked by each other. Each holding the hand of someone else. Chilchuck swallowed back his feelings and forced a smile, knowing Bellana was still upset. Despite her hiding it well, knowing her as long as he has, he had learned her body language. Knew her ins and outs as if her mind was his own.

"Yeah, I guess we will..." he said, trying to inject some optimism into his voice.

Bellana had a small smile on her lips, as if ignoring what her situation could truly turn out for her in the future was the obvious solution. She as silent for a moment before speaking up again, her movements stopping but she still did not look at him.

"Hey Chil...?"

Chilchuck lifted his head when she called out to him. He could tell she was still putting on a smile, despite her voice sounding hesitant.

"Yeah?" He answered, his hands still crossed around his knees.

Bellana slowly looked up to him, "promise... promise me you'll treat whatever woman you take as your bride well... you won't be like those asshole drunks here... you'll be a good man to her.." she stared at him, her eyes big and a small frown resting on her lips. Her body now close together making her look like a sad child begging for warmth in the cold.

Chilchuck's eyes widened slightly at her question, or more like a plead. He didn't expect her to ask him that. He didn't hesitate however. Chilchuck reached over and placed one of his hands on top of Bellana's hand that rested on her knee.

"I promise." He said, keeping his voice firm and giving her hand a squeeze. "I won't ever be like that, Bel."

She felt a tingling warmth in her chest that spread to her cheeks as his dark brown eyes met her dark blue ones. The seriousness and sincerity taking her by surprise. Finding it seemingly harder to breath, before she shook herself out of it with a laugh.

"Maybe I should just marry you then..." she joked.

Chilchuck's face instantly went red at her words, causing Bellana to crack a smile. He wasn't expecting that. She had to be joking...

"Y-yeah right," he said, trying to sound casual and calm, although his voice sounded somewhat strained. He quickly took his hand off of hers, crossing his arms again. Chilchuck looked away to the trees, desperately trying to compose himself as she began to laugh again. Looking ahead of her once more, letting go of her knees and sitting back on her hands again.

"Yeah.. you're much too grumpy for my taste."

He rolled his eyes, "and you're too much of a brat." He shot back, but thought how happy he was that she seemed genuinely amused at the moment. No longer sitting in her own devastation of the near future.

"Yeah... we'd never work. Just fight all the time." She hummed a giggle.

"Yeah, imagine. You'd get annoying after the first hour."

She scoffed. "And you'd start whining right after the wedding!"

"And you'd start bossing me around the second we said I do!"

"You'd start nagging before we'd even be able to lay together that night!"

Chilchuck's face went bright red at her words. Immediately swerving his body the other way, he went to cover his face with his hands. His palms pushing sharply to his cheeks and eyes. Bellana already covering her mouth to suppress her giggles.

"O-oh my God," he mumbled under his breath. "I am not taking about that with you." Imagines flashing in his mind, only heightened his undying embarrassment.

Bellana finally burst into more very loud laughter. Much louder and more joyful than before, she clutched her stomach as she fell into the soft grass, kicking her feet around.

His shyness never failing to amuse her, even as she struggled to catch her breath and her sides began to ache. All her worries and anger from before gone and forgotten. All from the stupid face her best friend made. Chilchuck just sat glaring at her as he watched her having, to what he considered, a dramatic reaction.

"Oh shut up.." Chilchuck muttered, crossing his arms.

The whole conversation was steaming with hot irony. Of course, neither knew that at the time. Or maybe they did, deep down they both knew the thing they felt in their chests when they looked in each eyes was deeper than any friendship could possibly give them. That the hypothetical wife and husband was actually sitting near steps away from them. The promise he made was to the woman herself, and not some future mystery lady. Bellana's nightmare would not come true, and both of their fears of no longer being friends would technically never come to be. Maybe they denied it, lying to themselves that the feelings they felt was just a strong platonic connection, perhaps for the only purpose of saving face in case of a possible rejection. So it seemed obvious at the time they would marry other people. That the possibly, that the future husband and wife, was the very person they had that very conversation with at that moment, was absolutely absurd.