#the three classes left semester
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
supercantaloupe · 1 year ago
Text
apparently i'm already halfway done my musicology degree??
#i wanna talk about me#between the course i did in undergrad and the frankly ridiculous number of courses i'm taking this semester#apparently i'm over halfway done already#i know the musicology portion is a smaller load than the library science portion but like#man it was weird walking into my advisor's office and him looking me in the eye and saying like 'oh you're almost done'#three courses is all i have left for a master's. Man#well i'm gonna spread those out over the next year and a half...and probably pick up an extra elective here or there while i can#cause idk man i like studying music history...even if i don't Have to i like taking the classes and learning#(esp if it's gonna be paid for by my fellowship as long as i'm still here)#well i need to figure out. how the hell to get in touch with a library science advisor now.#i emailed yesterday and haven't heard back#but i don't know what i'm doing for that degree going forward rn#other than. i guess taking 552. but i KNOW there's other specialty and elective courses i'll need to take too#and i want to take stock of what shit i'll have to take in summers too cause i know some of the courses are only offered in summer#(need to find out if any of my fellowship scholarship can go towards summer courses. i'm guessing not...)#weird. it's weird. i don't know what i'm doing here#anyway#meeting with my advisor went okay i at least know what i'm doing now re: the music stuff#didn't cry which is good but man i hate how my voice started to break more and more the longer i was in there#and when i talked about how i put too much on my plate this semester and am struggling to keep up with all the work#and he asked me if i've been reaching out to anyone for support. or if i had people to reach out to#and i just had to sit there like. uh#define. support?#i have a couple friends at least that i chat with about stuff like that sometimes but not always cause i don't want to bother them too much#but like. it's not like i can ask someone else to write a research paper For me#or it's not like i can control when my coworkers get sick and i have to cover their time in the office#and this didn't come up at all (and i'm glad for it) but jeez it's not like i can control global political conflicts!!#it's hard for me to focus on getting enough work done in small chunks of time in the best of times#let alone when my fucking hamster brain is on high alert for getting hate crimed in public if my necklace is too visible or something#idk. it's a lot man. i bit off more than i could chew this semester even before the world fell apart
9 notes · View notes
un-pearable · 11 months ago
Text
my job is schoool and my side gig is taking as much free school branded shit as i can find on campus (it’s a lot.) (like a lot. very fun past time and you help the people stuck tabling feel a little less bored)
6 notes · View notes
fiiyve · 2 years ago
Text
fuck it revelations persona time
15 notes · View notes
intertexts-moving · 2 years ago
Text
GMORNINNNNG happy home stuck day..........................
3 notes · View notes
ayumistudies · 2 years ago
Text
Getting a fever and feeling sick the day before the first day of classes
 Awesome đŸ˜¶
5 notes · View notes
ms-demeanor · 27 days ago
Text
Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.
With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.
But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."
I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.
AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:
Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor
Office Hours
Grading Policy
Assignment schedule.
Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:
December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam
If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.
If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.
If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.
I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.
This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.
5K notes · View notes
punkyplants · 6 months ago
Text
grad school is just discussion post group work research paper discussion post reflection discussion post literature review discussion post discussion post discussion post
1 note · View note
evvlogetarian · 6 months ago
Text
Ugh I'm seriously considering showing up just for lab tomorrow...
0 notes
gillianthecat · 7 months ago
Text
uh oh. i've fallen for another dance style. this is dangerous 😳
I went to a zouk class and dance party tonight and ended up having a lot of fun. the nice thing about my years of dancing tango is that i know how to follow if the leader is good, and there were many good leaders there, so by the end of the night i had relaxed enough to really feel like i was dancing. I wanna go again!
youtube
Not me... but maybe someday?
1 note · View note
bloodybirthdays · 7 months ago
Text
'talk about your experience with this course-' ohoh lady you dont want me to do that because the honest answer involves crying in frustration for the first time ever in any non-math related course and having the phrase 'i want to fucking kill myself' cross my mind while trying to do your dogshit assignments more times than it ever has collectively over the 19 years of my life <3
0 notes
yellowsubiesdance · 1 year ago
Text
man, i’m always depressed when i leave this class, bc i have to sit and wait for the bus to come down in the library by myself. it’s just so lonely
0 notes
you-are-my-neverland · 1 year ago
Text
nano d8 update!!!!!!!!
wrote: 207 words :/
favorite line:
Unfortunately, any plans Arete had of shaking her off were forgotten as the room spun in a dozen circles before her eyes, the ceiling flipping onto the floor and the wood graying out.
1 note · View note
yeonzzzn · 8 months ago
Text
say my name: sunghoon
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: sunghoon x afab!reader word count: 6.9k
Tumblr media
synopsis: you never liked sunghoon. matter of fact, you hate him. he annoys you and makes your blood boil. what makes it worse is he’s your neighbor, attends the same college as you, and even worked his way into your friend group. you refuse to say his name, but he has plans to make you scream it.
genre: neighbors!au, enemies to lovers, smut.
warnings: swearing, reader has an attitude problem, mutual masturbation, using readers spit to jerk off, fingering, cum eating, unprotective sex, doggie, hair pulling, lmk if I missed anything!
Tumblr media
You gripped the bedsheets, knuckles turning white and mouth going slack as moans escaped your lips. One of his hands left your hips and moved to your head, pushing your long hair from your face before connecting it to the side of your face, pressing you further into the sheets, another moan leaving your mouth. 
He chuckled, “Yeah? You like that huh?” his hand at your hip squeezed and shoved you further onto him, using more force into his other hand to press your face harder into the sheets, “Such a dirty fucking girl.” 
You exhaled out, “I fucking hate you,” but had the biggest smirk on your lips as he used every force possible to fuck into you. 
Sunghoon smirked at the look on your face, “No you don’t,” he cooed, his hand on your face moving to the top of your head, grasping a fistful of your hair and yanking, pulling you up and connecting your back to his chest, “Say my name,” he growled into your ear, letting go of your hair and snaking his hand down to your heat, middle finger circling your clit in perfect rhythm with his thrusts, “Say. My. Name.” 
Your head spun as you thought back on how you ended up in this situation with his cock so deep inside you. 
You hated him the moment he moved in next door. You hoped whoever your neighbor would be that they would be better than the last one. The last neighbor you shared a wall with was loud, always yelling at something, banging on the walls, watching TV way too loud, and for whatever reason would leave their apartment door open to “get fresh air,” when in reality you thought it was to shove whatever terrible smell they had inside out. 
You were so thankful when you saw your new neighbor was your age. He was handsome, looked smart, was quiet, seemed clean and his best friends were hot. 
But you learned soon enough that he was a prick and your hate for him started. 
Your first interaction with him was asking if he could turn his music down because it was three in the morning and you had work that following morning. 
He opened the door wide, wearing nothing but his tight blue boxers that clearly showed his boner. His hair was a mess, and the giggles of two females could be heard from his bedroom. You tried to drown out their giggles and keep your eyes on his, terribly failing and staring down at his chest, abs
his cock. 
He smirked, leaning closer to you, “Like what you see? Want to join us?” Anger filled you instantly. Who the fuck did this prick this he was? He barely moved in a few days ago, has TWO other females in his apartment, and is hitting on you when he doesn’t know you?
You snarled, “Just turn the damn music down!” 
He, in fact, did not turn the music down but turned it up. 
The rest of that week was hell. Music, alcohol, other females, and his friends flew in and out of that apartment, making you sleep less and less every day. 
When classes started back up that following week, to your dismay, you walked into your microbiology class to see him sitting in the corner of the classroom. His hands shoved into his black hoodie, eyes locking onto yours. He smirked, leaning forward into his chair, resting his elbows on the table, and giving you a wink. 
If you could drop this class and take it another semester you would. But you were so close to being done with your prerequisites for your major that there was no point in dropping it. Plus you wouldn’t let your prick of a neighbor ruin this for you. 
Except he made class hell too. Tossing notes your way, giving you winks, and biting his lips. Always having a comeback to your answer when the professor would ask questions.
You discovered through the class that his name was Park Sunghoon, and the moment you knew his name was the moment you vowed to never say it. To not let that tainted name leave your lips. 
Sunghoon only did more to piss you off as time went on. Walking around outside the apartment practically naked, running his hands over his body, and winking at you. Always teasing you at college by how you “wanted” him. 
What made things worse, he somehow befriended your best friend. Yunjin invited you to a party one night and you gladly accepted it, wanting one night away from the apartment building and away from Sunghoon. 
You walked into the party, expecting to be embraced by your best friend, but instead saw the door being opened by Jake, one of Sunghoon’s hot best friends. 
“Oh shit! Hey YN!” his Aussie accent blurted out, “You’re friends with Yunjin too?” 
Too?
You peered into her house, seeing Sunghoon’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, red solo cups in their hands as they laughed together with not only your friends but also his. 
Yunjin’s eyes widen in excitement at seeing Jake lead you into her house, “YNNIE!!!” 
She released herself from Sunghoon and embraced you quickly, “I have some people I want you to meet!” 
She introduced you to Sunghoon and his friends, the awkward smile on Sunghoon’s face showed that he had zero clue you were best friends with Yunjin. 
“No shit!” Jay exclaimed, “You’re best friends with YN?! Sunghoon is her neighbor!” 
Yunjin, mostly in her drunken state, was more excited than she should be, “OH EM GEEE!!” she clapped her hands, “We can be one big happy friend group!”
You found out from Yunjin that she and Sunghoon have a few classes together and even already hung out a few times around campus with his friends when you were busy. 
You wanted to break up the friendship but felt way too guilty and didn’t want to be that person to break away a friendship. 
So you sucked it up. 
For months you tried to act normal, but Sunghoon’s flirting and his teasing only got worse. Making you hate him even more. Oh, but it fueled him to continue. 
Even after almost a year, you refused to call him by name, referring to him as stupid, idiot, idiot penguin(after finding out he was a figure skater), and simply just a prick. 
You twirl your pencil between your fingers, listening to Heeseung and Yunjin talk about the League of Legends match they had last night. Jake cutting into the conversation. 
“Yeah yeah nerds, I have something to say.” 
Sunghoon glanced up at his best friend from his homework, “What could be more important than their league match?” 
“What the idiot penguin said,” you chimed in, eyes going back down to your homework. 
“Are we still going with the idiot penguin?” Sunghoon scoffed, “It’s been a year, YN,” he rolled his eyes, “I have a name.”
You shrugged, standing by your statement of never saying his name. 
Your friend group soon figured out whatever enemies thing you two had going on but never addressed it, hoping you two would figure it out on your own. 
“Anyways,” Jay said, “What is important?” 
Jake smiled, “Let’s go to the next city over and party.” 
Chaewon’s eyes lit up, “You know, why not?” 
Yunjin even seemed interested. 
Your little small town had bars and one shitty club. Neither was worth walking into. Going the next city over for a night out didn’t seem like a bad idea until

“We can get a hotel!” Yunjin said, “That way we don’t have to rush back home and can actually get drunk.” 
You were on board until the hotel was brought up, “No. Absolutely not.” 
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at you, knowing perfectly well why you didn’t want to, “Get over it, you’re going. All of us are.” 
You protested the whole week against going, yet you found yourself in the very backseat of Chaewon’s car sitting right next to Sunghoon. 
You rolled your head back onto the headrest, crossing your arms with a groan, “Can someone PLEASE switch seats with me?” 
“NO!” everyone else shouted. Sunghoon just sitting in silence, his arms also crossed, eyes locked onto whatever could be so interesting outside the car. 
You’ve only been in the car for an hour and a half, yet it was killing you already. 
“You really need to get over whatever hate you have for him,” Yunjin said earlier in the day as she shoved her duffle bag into the trunk, “I don’t understand it, everyone else is fine with each other besides you two.” 
You crossed your arms, “He’s just a prick. Has been since I’ve met him.” 
Yunjin rolled her eyes, “You aren’t even sure if he even did have a threesome with those girls.” 
She wasn’t
wrong. But by the way, his dick was hard in those
tight boxers, there’s no way he didn’t fuck them both. 
“Idiot penguin didn’t really do a good job of defending himself if he wasn’t, plus he asked ME to join them.” 
Yunjin just sighed, “He hates when you call him that, he actually wants to be friends with you, ya know. We are all friends, you live right next door to each other, just try to get along tonight, okay?” 
Yet here you were in the backseat with him wanting nothing more than to jump out of the window and let every car hit you. 
The sun started to set, and everyone one by one (except Chaewon and Jay who were driving and the passenger) fell asleep. 
A small bump in the road was enough to wake you from your sleep. You yawned and then the pain of the way your body was twisted into the seat kicked in. 
With a soft groan, you shifted yourself up, eyes wandering down your legs seeing them draped over Sunghoon’s lap. 
His eyes were wide and lips tucked between his eyes as he stared down at your legs. You shifted in your seat, ready to yell at him and pull your legs back but when your foot grazed over his crotch, you were in more shock than he was when realizing you were awake, head snapping to you so fast. 
“YN
” he whispers, eyes darting to the front of the car then back to you, “It’s not—“
“Then what is it you prick?!” you whisper back. He had a fucking hard-on?! What the hell was he thinking and doing with your legs?!
Sunghoon quickly placed his hand over his hard cock, trying to conceal it as if it would help make the situation better. 
It didn’t. 
“And now you’re touching yourself?!” you whispered in a snap, “You’re such a pervert you prick!” 
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes down at you, “Will you shut the fuck up and listen for a second, ya?” you thinned your lips in a line, waiting. “You at some point in your sleep shoved your legs into my lap. It woke me up and I was so close to shoving you off me, but you looked peaceful and Jay made me promise to not start shit with you.” Ahhh so they all were in on trying to get you two to play nice, “So I left you alone, but you started shifting around and
” 
And he got a fucking boner just from your legs. 
“You have a leg fetish or something?” you raise a brow at him. 
Only for your legs. 
Sunghoon shook his head, “You’re fucking crazy.” 
But maybe he was the crazy one. Ever since he’s met you, he’s wanted nothing more than to fuck that attitude out of you. To fuck all that hate you have for him out. To turn that scrunched face full of anger every time you look at him into a relaxed sexual face with you moaning out his name. 
He’s never once heard you call him by name. Even when he’s texted you about stuff about hanging out with everyone or for class or homework or literally anything about the apartment you always call him some wack ass name. 
Sunghoon has it as his goal to get you to say his name. Whether that’s by him fucking you into the next year, or gaslighting you into saying it somehow. He preferred option one. 
He found you so ridiculously sexy. Your attitude always got him going and he couldn’t explain why. Maybe it’s because he wanted to fuck that attitude out, maybe it’s because over the year of knowing you, he’s grown a little crush. Loving the way your eyes light up when a strawberry alcoholic beverage of any kind is placed in front of you. Loving how you smile when you see animals and how you dance around with Yunjin in her living room. 
He found it so sexy how you give back every ounce of bullshit he threw at you. So sexy when you wear your tight sweatpants that shape your ass do fine. Finding the small mole above your naval so cute and attractive, mostly when you wear tight crop tops or shorter shirts that lift when you stretch showing off your tummy. 
Sunghoon was so down bad for you in many ways that even he wasn’t able to understand it. 
He hated you to a degree, but only in a way to keep himself from feeling things he shouldn’t for you. 
“I’m crazy?” you burned holes into his eyes when he nodded, “Says the one who got a boner over my legs.” 
Sunghoon couldn’t hold it back anymore, slowly palming his cock, “Yeah? And what about it? Your legs are so fucking sexy.” Sunghoon loved your legs and wanted to rub his hands up and down them. Wanted to squeeze the plush of your thighs. Wanted them to straddle him. 
You could see it in his eyes, the way his pupils were starting to look blown out and filled with so much lust. He’s never looked at you like that before. 
It made your cheeks flush and made you speechless. Your eyes wandered away from his and down to the hand palming himself, watching as his hips slowly shifted up with each stroke of his palm. 
It sent heat down your body and pooled between your legs. You hated him, so why was watching him stroke himself so hot to you? Making you want to continue watching him. 
“Oh, you so want me,” he whispered, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth, slowly sliding his hand down his sweatpants and boxers, letting out a soft grunt and he flung his head back into the headrest, keeping his eyes locked with yours. 
You watched how the moonlight and street lamps shined on him as he fucked up into his fist slowly. 
“Prick,” you whispered back at him, closing your thighs together in hopes of concealing the rising heat between them. But Sunghoon notices everything. 
“You’re so wet, aren’t you? All just from watching me? So dirty.” He was making your blood boil. But the slick between your legs was worse than your anger at the moment, and you knew that he could see it too. 
“Shut up,” you closed your legs tighter, trying to fight yourself from looking at him, from looking at how his hand moves under his sweatpants. 
“Touch yourself.” 
Your eyes widened, “Excuse you?!” 
“Shut the fuck up!” he snapped, making you realize you said that a bit too loud, with a groan he repeated himself, “I said touch yourself.” 
You snarl at him, opening your mouth to fight back but ultimately stopping when he pulls his hand from his pants and lifts his hips to slide them down to his thighs. 
He looked back at you as he wrapped his hand back around himself, a smirk raising, “Close your mouth, you might start drooling, YN.” 
You didn’t realize how wide you let your jaw drop at his size
he was huge. Maybe that day you told him to turn his music down, his cock showing wasn’t because of how tight his boxers were

You closed your mouth, sliding your back into the seat and slouching down, running your thighs even more together. 
Sunghoon was loving the way you were looking at him. Loved how you kept darting your eyes back and forth between his face and cock. Oh, the way he’ll tease you about this until his last breath. 
He leaned towards you a bit, rubbing his thumb over the tip to spread his precum, “Touch yourself, YN.” 
Your heart was racing, your body on fire. You wanted to. So bad. But didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. 
Sunghoon let a small moan leave his lips, and you were done for. 
You slid your hand down your shorts, your fingers working their way to spread your slick around your clit. 
“That’s it, baby,” he whispers, eyebrows furrowing, “Keep going.” 
You stared down at his cock, watching how he bucked his hips in movement with his hand, seeing how his precum leaked from the tip. 
But then he released himself, reaching over and stopping his hand below your mouth, “Spit.” 
You didn’t hesitate, dripping your saliva into a small pool in his hand. Sunghoon could have came just by the eye contact you gave him as you gave him your spit. Like holy fucking shit it was hot. 
Sunghoon spreads your saliva over his cock, hitting his head back into the headrest as his hand glides so easily up and down his shaft, “Oh, fuck.” 
You bit your lips and pressed two fingers inside you, letting small and quiet whimpers escape just loud enough for him to hear. 
Sunghoon wanted you to expose yourself as he has to you, reaching his free hand to the hem of your shorts and tugging, “Pull’em down.” 
So you did. Releasing your fingers from your cunt only long enough to push your shorts and panties down to your ankles and pumping your fingers back into you. 
Sunghoon hissed at see you finger fuck yourself. Loving how your hips rolled in time with your fingers. God, he wished it was his fingers inside you. 
He looks up to you, seeing that your eyes were still locked onto his cock. He slouched more down into the seat, giving himself more room to pump himself and give you a better view. 
You bit your lips tighter and pushed your fingers in faster, knowing damn well you were covering the seat in your juices. But you didn’t care at that moment. 
Sunghoon’s hand was on your thigh, spreading your leg more apart, giving you that access to finger fuck yourself faster. 
It was driving him up a wall at how you looked right now. You’ve only ever shown him faces of anger, but right now you’re showing him the faces you make when horny and touching yourself. And oh god he was loving it. 
He wanted you to look at him while touching yourself. He wanted to see the face you’d make when you cum, wanting you to watch him cum. 
“Hey, YN,” he was barely able to whisper, “Eyes on me.” 
You locked eyes with him, chills being sent down your spine at his fucked out expression. You couldn’t help but let your imagination run wild. Is this how he looks when he’s having sex? So out of it and lustful? 
You wondered how he’d fuck you while you straddled him. Would his hips buck up like they are doing into his fist? Would he go faster? Harder? The thoughts were endless as you stared back into his eyes. 
His mouth slightly opened, his lips swollen from how hard he was biting them to keep his moans compressed. He let out small grunts, eyes quickly looking down at how covered your hand was with your wetness, wanting to unbuckle himself and grab you by your thighs until your back was touching the bottom of the seat as he spreads your legs and fucked himself into you. 
The thoughts were enough to send him over the edge, “YN,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“I’m fixing to cum.” 
Your body tensed, fingers moving faster, “Cum then,” you whispered back, your thumb now doing circles on your clit as you pumped yourself. 
“M’cumming,” he said with a deep inhale, tucking his lips back between his teeth as he released, his cum leaking out so perfectly and down his hand. 
“Fuck,” you whimper, working your fingers faster. 
Sunghoon slid his boxers up first, wiping his cum on the inside of his boxers due to not having anywhere else to do so, then slid his sweatpants back over his hips. 
He locked his eyes back to yours, seeing how desperate you looked wanting to cum too. He slides his eyes down to your cunt. If it were his hands there
you would have came twice by now. 
You wanted to release terribly, but the angle of your hand and the small of the backseat made it difficult for you to chase out that climax. You tensed as you tried to reach for it, calling for it. 
Your body froze when Sunghoon’s hand grabs yours, pulling your fingers out of your cunt, “Let me help.” 
Usually, you’d protest and yell at him. Call him a prick. Shove him away. But right now you wanted to cum and that priority was above all else. 
He replaced your fingers with his. His long fingers slid into you so gracefully, “Fuck you’re so wet,” he moans softly, angling his hand in the perfect spot as he hit your g-spot. Sunghoon couldn’t believe he was feeling you in his hand, feeling your slick pool in his palm, feeling you clench around his fingers. He was already getting hard again. 
“Feels good baby?” he whispers in your ear and all you do in response is nod. 
Something about his fingers was driving you crazy. The way they hit your g-spot with such ease, the way his thumb brushed against your clit with each movement

“Say my name,” he says into your ear, pumping his fingers in you faster. 
“No,” you say back, your hand flying to his wrist and squeezing it tightly. 
“Say my name, YN,” he said again, curling his fingers so deep inside you, your climax nearing so fast you didn’t have time to think, “Say my name baby.” 
You opened your mouth, not to say his name, but to moan as you came around his fingers and hand. Sunghoon acted fast enough to press his lips to yours, suppressing your moan from being too loud and letting the others find out what was happening in the back seat. 
You closed your eyes at your release, Sunghoon’s fingers still moving inside you slowly, helping you chase out at high. 
You kissed him back, without so much as a second thought, you kissed him back. 
Maybe you did it as a way to thank him for helping you release, maybe you did it because you wanted to. The lines were blurred and you didn’t know why you let him kiss you. 
His fingers slid out from your cunt as he leaned more into you, his tongue spreading your lips apart and making its way into your mouth twirling the muscle around yours. 
Once you came down from your high, your eyes opened wide, and shoved Sunghoon back to his side of the car. A chuckle left his lips, “Back to hating me?” 
“I never stopped hating you!” 
“Right,” he clicked his tongue, as he looked down at his hand covered in your cum, “That’s not what your body said five minutes ago.” 
You wanted to call him his usual nickname but stopped short when he lifted his hand to his lips, tongue extending out and licking your cum from his palm then shoved his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean. 
Fuck she tastes so good. 
Your face reddens, “Prick,” 
His eyes roamed down to your cunt, “Pull your shorts up.” 
“I hate you.” 
—
Once you all arrived at the hotel and checked into your rooms, you quickly locked the door, sliding your back down the wood and covering your face in your hands. 
The guilt of what happened was finally hitting you. You masturbated with him. Watch him cum down his hand and even let him make you cum. You let him kiss you, and shove his tongue down your throat. 
You felt dirty and in need of a shower to wash away the guilt and feeling of his hand between your legs. 
Everyone was supposed to meet down in the lobby twenty minutes after getting to their rooms to change and do whatever else before hitting up the club. It was plenty of time to shower and wash Sunghoon off you. 
You scrubbed your body clean and even double-brushed your teeth before sliding into the dress Yunjin and Chaewon forced you to bring, “It makes you look so hot!” Yunjin said, “Fits you in all the right places!” 
Well, she was right. The red dress was made of silk and slid down your body perfectly as well as fit you perfectly. It was tight around your frame to show off your curves, shaping your ass and lifting your tits. You slid your feet into matching red sneakers, not caring enough to walk around in heels all night. 
You arrived in the lobby, seeing that Jake and Sunghoon were the first ones there.
Just looking at Sunghoon not only brought back your moment in the car together but brought out a different feeling. 
You could tell he also showered by how wet his hair still was. His hair was parted perfectly in its normal part, pieces sliding down into his face. His black button-up shirt was tight against his frame, showing his muscled arms and shoulders perfectly. Matching his shirt, he wore black pants that fit him perfectly in a loose way. 
Jake mirrored his outfit but in white, going for a whole yin and yang thing. Which made sense for the two of them being best friends and all. 
“Wow,” Jake was the first to speak, “You look—“
“Sexy,” Sunghoon finished for him, his gaze eyeing you up and down. 
“Yes! Sexy!” 
Sunghoon tried to not let his irritation with his best friend show as he watched him practically drool over you. If only Jake knew he was knuckles deep in your pussy not even an hour ago. 
Hell, Sunghoon was trying to not drool over you right now. Red was definitely your color and it was doing something to him down in his pants. Especially with the way the tops of your breasts pooled over the top of that dress. 
You noticed how he was eye fucking you, earning you to scrunch your nose at him and look away, putting your attention fully on Jake. 
Shit, there’s that attitude I want to fuck right out of her. 
It didn’t take much longer for the others to arrive and off to the club you all went. 
The club was packed. The music you didn’t quite care for and Sunghoon wouldn’t let you out of his sight, following your every move like a hawk hunting his prey. 
Everyone else had found their way to the dance floor, shaking some ass and grinding up on random strangers having the time of their lives. That could be you if you didn’t have an idiot penguin on your heels. 
You walked up to the bar, waving the bartender over, “Yes ma’am?” he said, his eyes immediately dropping to your cleavage.
“She’ll take a strawberry coconut rum with extra ice please, make it two,” Sunghoon answered for you. 
You looked over at him, seeing how closely he stood next to you. Sunghoon wanted to touch you, have his hands on you to show every man in this club to back the fuck off. 
“You got it,” the bartender said, giving a small look of irritation at Sunghoon. 
Sunghoon just smirked, eyes flickering to his name tag, “Thank you, Choi Yeonjun.” 
Yeonjun just thinned his lips out, “Yeah, you’re welcome.” Then he walked off to make the drinks. 
Your glare at him didn’t falter, “Can I help you?” Sunghoon asked. 
“Can I help YOU? I can order my drinks myself.” 
“He was literally eye fucking you, I had to do something.” 
You raised a brow at him, “Huh? Is it eating you up so much that other men are looking at me?” 
Yes because no one else is allowed to have you. 
“Why would I care about that? It’s not them looking, it’s the fact they aren’t just looking. They are undressing you with their eyes and I can’t fucking stand it.” 
You’ve never seen Sunghoon so
protective before. He’s never batted an eye at you twice at the clubs and bars back home, letting any and every man hit on you as much as they wanted. What changed between then and now? 
Yeonjun returned with your drinks, giving you a flirty smile and glare at Sunghoon before walking away again. 
Sunghoon snarled at him. 
“Anyway!” You snapped, “How did you know what to even order me?” 
Sunghoon chuckled, taking a sip of the alcohol, “I’ve known you for over a year, YN. I’ve seen what you drink when we’ve gone out and at parties. I know you.” 
Somehow that hit hard to your heart, that he even paid that much attention to you outside of the constant teasing. 
“You hate me, why go through this trouble?” you scoffed, chugging down your drink quickly, wanting to already feel the buzz. 
“I hate you, but not in the same way you hate me,” he finally admitted, “It’s not any trouble at all to protect you, I’ve always done it, always shooed off anyone who would hit on you for too long. You just never noticed it.” 
Your heart skipped a beat, your memory shoving back in time at every time someone hit on you, how they’d flirt and touch your waist, only for them to leave to grab a drink and never return. Now you know why, Sunghoon got to them. 
“What do you mean that you don’t hate me the same way I hate you?” 
Sunghoon looked away from you, chugging down the last bit of his drink before tossing it back onto the bar counter and taking a deep breath in. 
“You hate me because of how I flirt with you, how I tease you about anything and everything. You hate me for how loud I blast my music, hate me for being loud when Heeseung, Jay, and Jake are over, hate me for the number of females I’ve brought in and out of my apartment, hate me because you think I had a threesome with those girls all that time ago when I actually didn’t, by the way, I sent them home before anything else could happen. And you hate me for competing against you in class, hate me for joining your friend group, the list goes on. But me? I hate you because of how bad I want you.” 
He looked back at you, his face softened from his hardened look from earlier at Yeonjun. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was holding everything back. 
Sunghoon wanted to yell at you for how stupid you were for not seeing how he felt about you. That his little teasing and acts of flirting were because he likes you. Yeah, he wanted to fuck your brains out along with that nasty attitude of yours, that ain’t no lie, but the moment he first laid his eyes on you his heart wanted to jump out his chest. And after seeing the way you eyed him up that one day you went to yell at him about his music, it tipped him over the edge to always wanting to be that thorn in your side pissing you off. Because it was better than making you feel nothing at all for him. 
Sunghoon sighs, “I hate you because I want you so bad. I hate you because you can’t even dare say my name. I hate you for the things you make me feel. I fucking hate you for letting me kiss you in the car because now all I can think about is how I’d get my lips back on yours.”
You stared blankly at him, before nervously shaking your head and letting out a chuckle, “Right. This is just your way of teasing me again.” 
“If I wanted to tease you right now, I’d bring up how badly you were gasping at my cock in the car.” 
“Shut up!” You snapped, your face reaching the same shade as your dress. 
He smirked at you, “All that aside, I want you so fucking bad that I can’t handle it anymore, and by how fucking wet you were for me
” he took a step closer to you, face nearly inches apart from yours, “I know you want me so bad too.”
You swallowed, body shaking from how close he was to you right now. Sunghoon rested his forehead against yours, biting at his lower lip, “Say my name,” 
You lifted your face a bit, barely brushing your lips to his, “No,” 
Sunghoon’s hands were now at your waist, fingers digging into that sexy dress of yours that he wanted to rip from your body, “God I want to fuck that attitude out of you.”
Your heart was doing flips and you finally understood why: because of the feelings that ran deep within you that you sheltered up and locked away. Finally understanding that’s why he made your blood boil at nearly existing. You were forcing the feelings you felt for him away. 
You landed your hands on his biceps, rubbing your thumb over the muscle, “Say my name,” he said again. 
You smiled, shaking your head. 
Sunghoon just smirked back at you, taking a few steps back and guiding you with him, “I am going to get you to say my name.” 
You, for the first time, flirted back, “How are you going to do that?” 
He didn’t respond, just kept pulling you toward the entrance of the club and until you were back at the hotel and being shoved into his room. 
His mouth found yours, his hands roaming every inch of your body as your fingers trailed down his shirt, undoing every button until the black fabric was lying somewhere on the floor. 
Sunghoon shoved his tongue down your throat at the same time he found the zipper to your dress, pulling it down in a shift motion to get you out of it quickly. 
His cock was twitching in his pants, so eager to be set free and find its new home inside your cunt. 
The moment your dress hit the floor, you were shoved onto your back on the bed, his hands on your hips and pulling you to the edge, looping his fingers into your panties nearly ripping them off you. 
“So fucking needy,” you teased him, “Want me that bad?” 
Sunghoon hissed, “You have no fucking idea.” 
He towered over you, pressing his lips back to yours as his fingers slipped into your soaked pussy. You moaned against his mouth, closing your thighs around his hand. 
“Say my name,” he said once again, “I wanna hear you say it.” 
You bit your lip, ushering out another no. 
Sunghoon was going insane for this little game of yours, it turned him on more than he’d like to admit. Maybe he was actually crazy. 
“Say my name,” he said as he pushed his fingers into you harder, curling his fingers at your g-spot, “Scream my name and I might consider letting you cum.”
You slid your hand down to your clit, working your fingers against it, “That's fine, I’ll just make myself cum.” 
Sunghoon groaned, swatting your hand from your clit and removing his fingers. Both hands grabbing at your waist and flipping you over, lifting your ass up and making your back arch, “Shit I can’t wait to fuck that attitude of yours away.” 
“Funny you think that’s something that can be done,” 
He took a handful of your hair and lifted you up, letting out a “Watch me,” in a whisper against your ear, then shoved you back down into the sheets. 
You heard the sound of his pants hitting the floor, then felt his tip prod at your entrance, “Prick
” 
“What was that?” 
“Pri—“
Before you could make out the word, he shoved his length into you, bottoming out then pushing himself back out and then in, not giving you any time to adjust to his size. 
You didn’t care though, the pleasure was far too great as he fucked into you like you were a bitch in heat, “Gonna fuck you so good you’ll start thinking twice before giving me attitude again.” 
And that’s how you ended up here, back pressed so tightly against his chest as his cock and fingers worked their magic on your body. 
You reached your hands up and behind his, fingers tangling into his hair as your brain became foggy. 
He fucked into you with the full intention of getting you to scream his name. Of getting you to come so unglued on his cock you’ll be begging him to fuck you some more. 
Even with these goals in mind, Sunghoon couldn’t believe he had your body pressed up against his, cock so balls deep into your cunt, and hearing your moans so crystal clear in his ear. He loved it. Loved how much of a mess he was making of you. 
He worked his middle finger faster against your clit, “Say my name,” he begged, “Say my fucking name.” 
You bit down on your lip, trying with any willpower left that you had to keep from screaming his name. From giving him exactly what he wanted. 
Sunghoon kept trying and wasn’t going to stop until his name left your lips. He’ll fuck you until the sun starts raising if he had to, all to hear your pretty voice speak his name. 
Your climax was fast approaching, you wanted to cum so bad, and you knew what you had to do to reach it, finally letting go. 
“Sunghoon,” you softly moaned. 
“Louder,” he growled. 
“Sunghoon,” you moaned again. 
“Louder!” 
“SUNGHOON,” you screamed at the same time you came on his dick, his fingers and thrusts did not slow long down. 
“Fuccckkkk yessss,” he groaned, removing his fingers from your clit and using all his weight to push you back down into the sheets, his hands taking yours and lifting them above your head, pounding into you faster and harder than before. 
You chanted his name, losing your breath at the ecstasy that filled you. 
“That’s it, baby, scream my name like it’s the only name you’ll ever know.” 
You continued to moan his name, making it music to his ears and filling his heart with such happiness he didn’t think was possible. 
“Fuck, you love hoonie’s cock, ya? Love the way I give it to you?”
“Hoonie,” you cried out, “Fucking love your cock so much.” 
Sunghoon gripped his hands tighter around yours, “Cum for me again baby, you can do it.” 
You released on him again, your eyes seeing stars. 
He pushed your legs further apart with his knees and fucked harder into you, “I’m so in love with you,” he admitted, “I love that stupid ass attitude of yours, I love fucking that attitude out, I love the way you say my name and love the way you look at me while I fuck you. I love you.” 
You lifted your head, barely being able to look at him, but you did. You were looking up at him with such endearment. Like he was the one who put the stars in the sky just like he’s the one making you see them right now. 
“Sunghoon,” he came undone at how softly you said his name, his seed unloading into your gummy walls, slowing his thrust as he chased down his high, “I love you too.” 
—
You both sat hand in hand in the backseat, Sunghoon pinching your cheeks in a teasing manner as he rubbed his nose against yours, his smile so wide. 
“Hey,” Jay called from the front seat, “What the fuck happened with you two?” 
Heeseung groaned and slung his head onto the headrest, “You don’t even want to know! They were fucking each other's brains out all night.” 
Chaewon yawned at the driver's seat, “Be lucky you didn’t have a room next to his.” 
“No for real,” Heeseung added, “I got so tired hearing how many times he asked YN to cum for him. Wanted to shove pencils down my ears.” 
Sunghoon slapped his friend's chest, “Bring earphones next time buddy.” 
Jake and Yunjin looked at each other confused at what happened between their best friends, but going along anyway. Jake always knew Sunghoon had feelings for you and saw how he bottled it up. Jake guessed last night was Sunghoon’s tipping point. And Yunjin always knew you’d break at some point and accept Sunghoon, she just didn’t expect it to be as a lover. 
“Anyway,” Jay said rubbing his temples, “Let’s hit the road, I have work tomorrow and need to sleep off more of this hangover.” 
Chaewon then started the drive back home. 
Sunghoon rested his face back against yours, bringing your lips to his, “Say my name again.” 
“Sunghoon,” you whispered between kisses, “Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon.”
Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
soupcrouton · 1 year ago
Text
Its cool its cool yeah no just withhold money from me its all good ❗
0 notes
muffystudies · 2 years ago
Text
currently trying to hype myself up for spring enrolment (which opens in 45 minutes) by listening to The Great War on repeat. I've done almostnothing else all day.
1 note · View note
i2ycat · 6 months ago
Text
clumsily yours
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing lee heeseung x fem!reader synopsis when your clumsy ass never fails to embarrass yourself in front of your crush, lee heeseung. but the catch is that lee heeseung is embarrassing himself to get your attention as well. a match made in heaven, if you will. genre college au, fluff, slight angst, friends to lovers word count 5k+ warnings one mention of wanting to have heeseung in your bed, use of the word whore (in a non-derogatory manner), my man jungwon working overtime as the resident best friend, reader compares herself to other people, kissing, lmk if i missed anything else main masterlist
reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
Tumblr media
Clumsy might as well have been your middle name with how much you embarrass yourself, tripping on your own two feet like a toddler learning how to walk for the very first time being just one of the many. However, your clumsiness doesn’t just extend to matters pertaining to your body; you’d much rather it end there, but things never really go your way. It also includes embarrassing yourself in front of Lee Heeseung.
You first met Heeseung at orientation. He was in the year above you, acting as one of the guides that led you and a bunch of other freshmen around the campus. You didn’t know it at the time — though you could’ve guessed — but you were just one of the many girls who fell for Heeseung’s charming smile on the first day of the semester.
Heeseung was known to be good with his words, having the innate ability to let anyone’s guard down. He had a disposition for making kind gestures and making you feel at ease, even with just his presence alone. You still remember the smile he passed you as you wandered aimlessly around the university. At one point, he was even nice enough to initiate small talk, asking you what course you took and whether you had clubs in mind you wanted to join, to which you remember answering the music club.
It was around mid-winter when you succumbed to the heat spreading throughout you whenever Heeseung was around, even at a distance. That was also the same time you found out about his reputation — an infamy for being a tragic womanizer. Tragic because he left every single girl behind with a hotter desire to get him back, but once he left, that was it. He was never one to get back with the same girl.
You’ve heard rumours of how Heeseung was such a good lover that they just couldn’t let him go. Another was that he dated three girls at the same time while he was in Bali for the holidays.
They didn’t bother you because it wasn’t like you had a chance with Heeseung to begin with. It’s hard enough that you’re his junior, but adding the fact that you’ve endlessly embarrassed yourself in front of him just makes it that much more of an exacerbation. Admiring his pretty face from afar doesn’t hurt anybody, especially not your heart.
“Stop ogling at him like some creep.” Jungwon grimaces, stabbing his fork carelessly into pieces of chicken atop his plate of creamy fettuccine.
Even in the packed dining hall, you couldn’t help but notice Heeseung the moment he entered. It wasn’t that you were looking for him; it just so happened that when you looked up, he and his friends walked in. “I wasn’t ogling; he just came in when I looked up.” You explain, despite knowing that Jungwon doesn’t believe you one bit. He has every reason to not, really. You’ve dragged him around campus just to get a glimpse of Heeseung in between classes, talked his ear off about how much you wanted the boy, and all the in between.
“I really don’t get why you don’t just talk to him.” He starts chewing in between words. “It’s not like he has a preference either; he literally dated Yuna from our introduction to economics class.”
“That’s ‘cause she’s pretty!”
“And you’re not?” He raises a brow incredulously.
“Well, I am... but what I’m saying is that Yuna is in a different league of pretty.” Your platter of chicken parmesan sits half eaten and forgotten. “An exclusive league of Heeseung’s exes.” You mutter almost enviously.
It’s true that every single girl that Heeseung dated was beyond the threshold of being just beautiful — Karina, Yuna, and Yunjin, just to name a few. It didn’t help that they are all such nice girls; though you’ve never interacted with them yourself, you know a good-hearted person when you see one.
“You could easily add yourself to that list,” Jungwon states matter-of-factly, taking hold of your unfinished plate of food.
Could you really though?
You look past your best friend and towards the direction of the table where Heeseung and his friends are currently sitting. He’s everything your highschool self could’ve ever wanted in a guy; older, funny, tall, handsome. How could anyone not fall for him? You don’t even blame the girls for wanting to get back with Heeseung, no matter the heartbreak.
Even as he conversed with Jay and Sunghoon, he had this cheekiness and charm to him that drew you in like no other. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought for sure that he was like any other nerd in the campus, with semi-permanent smiles, black rims and jean everything, but way hotter.
As if Heeseung could feel your lingering stare, his eyes met yours. Is it overly cheesy and overused to say that your entire world has stopped? Yes, but you can’t help it because that’s exactly what happened. For a moment, it was nobody else but you and Heeseung in this entire universe.
The rosy tint in your cheeks is hard to conceal, and you can practically hear the heart palpitations in your ear. You don’t even notice that Jungwon is rolling his eyes at you, because he’s sure he’s seen this exact same scene about a hundred times before.
Oh, you were horrendously down bad for Lee Heeseung.
—
“Y/n?” A familiar voice faintly calls from behind you, taking your attention off the book you were reading. You turn, half-expecting it to be Jungwon asking to borrow your car, only to be faced with Heeseung sporting his signature smile. You could’ve sworn you died right then and there.
“Heeseung?” You managed to keep your composure, but you were feeling like a high school girl all over again, internally giggling and kicking your feet over the fact that he was within a 2-metre radius of you.
This wasn’t the first time you’ve talked to Heeseung, but it definitely was the first time you’ve ever gotten this close to him. You could almost make out the number of freckles across the expanse of his face, and you’d gladly continue to do so if he hadn’t already realised the fact that you’re practically a breath away from each other due to his miscalculation of distance.
Heeseung awkwardly falls to his ass as he tries to inch backward. “Ouch,” He hisses.
“Are you okay?” You let the book fall from your hands, instinctively reaching towards him.
“Pretend you never saw that.”
“My eyes were closed!” You hastily reply.
Heeseung’s hazel eyes momentarily swim in yours, as if he wanted to dig deeper into you and know everything about you that he possibly could. He felt as if he was put into a trance under you. A beat passes before he lets out a hearty, genuine laugh. It fills your ears with a heavenly symphony. You wish you could hear it forever, so you commit it to memory. You also wished you would always be the reason he laughed like this.
You don’t know why he’s laughing, but it’s infectious enough for you to want to join in the short concord of laughter. So, it becomes just you and him laughing like complete maniacs in the centre of the campus quadrangle. Other students in the area send the both of you weird looks, but you don’t pay them any mind, because who cares? Who cares if the school’s heartbreaker is having a little fun with little old Jang Y/n? What could possibly go wrong?
In this moment and time, absolutely nothing could go wrong. Right now, the Lee Heeseung in front of you isn’t just what the rumours say he is. He doesn’t have to be the lover everyone makes him out to be.
“We should do this more often.” A smile is still present on Heeseung’s soft features.
“Do what? You fall on your ass, then we laugh?” You don’t know where this newfound confidence came from, but you don’t mind it in the slightest bit. You’re finally able to hold conversations with Heeseung without stuttering over your words and making a fool of yourself.
“Hey! You said you didn’t see a thing.” He pouts, and you feel your heart melting. You put your hands up in faux defeat, softly chuckling at the childish side of Heeseung that he’s suddenly showcasing to you on a sunny Tuesday afternoon.
A comfortable silence starts to permeate the air.
From behind, Heeseung’s friends start to call out for him, breaking the trance you’ve been put in under his warm stare. “I guess I’ll get going. See you around.” He gets up, waving with a boyish expression, which you gladly reciprocate.
—
Jungwon lets out an exasperated sigh, his fingers shifting to massage his temples as he takes the time to cool his nerves. He wonders why he continues to go through with his friendship with you, letting the question take laps around his mind while you stare at him with unwaveringly bright eyes.
“Come on,” You whine. “Please?”
“Can’t you just ask him yourself? You told me that you talked to him a few days ago.”
“Yeah, but what if he thinks I’m weird?”
“That’s because you are,” Jungwon mutters, huffing once more out of pure dispairment. “Look, it’s not weird for you to simply ask a friend out.”
“When you phrase it like that, you make it sound as if I’m asking him to be my boyfriend!” You nudge him in the arm.
“That’s because you make it seem as if you are.” He gives you a look and says, “See? It’s not that big of a deal.” You’re rendered speechless at Jungwon’s words of wisdom, as he likes to call them.
“Please?” You attempt to coerce Jungwon one last time, looking up at him with the infamous puppy eyes, but immediately admit defeat when he narrows his eyes at you, brows furrowing in the process. “Ugh, fine.” You get up from your position on the couch, dusting yourself when you stand in front of the body-length mirror by the front door.
“Text me when it goes wrong!” Jungwon’s voice echoes in the small apartment as you shut the door.
The walk to campus was relatively peaceful, but it doesn’t do much to calm either your heart or thoughts, even as you rehearse the lines in your head ten times over.
Hey, Heeseung! I really wanted you to come to the show my friends and I are having tonight! No, you’re doing way too much. Might as well tell him you want to kiss him.
Heeseung! Come to the show my friends and I are having. Definitely not, too demanding.
Hee! Could you please come to the show my friends and I are having tonight? Hee? And you sound way too desperate.
Hey, Heeseung! You and your friends could come to the show my friends and I are having tonight! You could roll with this. Friendly, casual, and totally doesn’t sound like you desperately want him to be there at all.
As you go over the lines in your head one last time for good measure, your body crashes into one that is much firmer and larger than yours.
“Ow!” You yell, hands flying all over the place to find something to hold on to catch your fall, which you do — a bicep, more specifically Lee Heeseung’s bicep.
In the flurry of emotions, you didn’t even notice who you bumped into, only realising seconds later when you'd already gotten steady on your own two feet by using their body as an anchor.
“It’s you again.” Heeseung’s voice is hard to mistake; the familiarity in his sweet and melodic tone does not fail to strike you in the heart, making it beat ten times faster against your chest.
Oh.
Oh.
Almost instantly, you become hyper-aware of his touch on your bare skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Your eyes are blown wide, unable to compute that you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Heeseung yet again. You just grabbed him in the bicep. All you wanted to do right now was hide in a ditch, preferably for the rest of the semester.
“Yeah, haha. It’s me again.” You rub your nape awkwardly, letting out a forced chuckle. “I was thinking about you!”
“Really now?” Heeseung raises a brow, with both intrigue and mirth present in his features.
The colour in your cheeks deepens. “No! That’s- that’s not what I meant. I was- I was just-” Each second that ticks by makes you want to run away even more, as you’re sure you’ve embarrassed yourself more than enough by now. He definitely thinks you’re some weirdo who thinks about him every second of the day — which you are, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Not that I mind you thinking about me; I actually quite like that you do, because at least I know the feeling’s mutual.” A smug smirk maintains itself on Heeseung’s face, twinkling eyes scanning the expanse of your face.
The what is what now?
You gulp almost painfully, blinking up at Heeseung with a bewildered stare, because there’s no way he just implied that he thinks about you too. Surely you’ve inferred wrongly. There’s just no way that you can take up space in the Lee Heeseung’s head.
“I-I have a show today at Delton. My band and I are performing. It would be nice if you could come.” You make the effort to completely disregard the revelation he’s just thrusted upon you, instead taking the chance to make use of the mental prep you were doing just minutes earlier. You were ready to ask him to come to your show, not to receive an indirect confession. It wasn’t a profession of love, but a confession nonetheless.
If Jungwon knew about this, he’d probably kick you in the shin for your pathetic excuse of a response. You internally shudder at the thought of Jungwon blowing up at you after you tell him what just transpired.
Before Heeseung can even come up with a response, you excuse yourself, brushing past him in a rushed manner. You didn’t even want to spare a glance at his face, scared that you would fall to your knees right then and there.
—
“Are you nervous?” Gaon, who is situated with a mic stand beside you, asks.
You nod your head ever-so-slightly, wiping your sweaty hands on the sides of your sweatshirt. You joined the music club a few months ago, but it wasn’t until just a few weeks ago that you started joining them as a lead vocalist in performances. So even until now, you weren’t acclimated to singing in front of a crowd just yet, no matter the size.
“I know you’ll kill it; you always do.” You both share a smile before the curtain in front of you slowly reveals the humble crowd just beyond the stage. In the dim lighting, your eyes scan the audience one by one, recognising a few girls from the classes you take and a few from the other majors. You even spot Karina with Yunjin near the back, as well as Jungwon.
When you don’t find Heeseung, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t disappointed. But after the little encounter you had with him this afternoon, you wouldn’t have either.
You put your thoughts aside when the familiar strums of Gaon and Junhan’s guitar fill your in-ears. You take a final deep breath, calming the last of your shaking nerves.
“Think of me when you’re out, when you’re out there.” The stage lights finally bring attention to you as you sing the first verse, closing your eyes in the moment. “I’ll beg you nice from my knees.”
Right as the beat drops, guitars and drums harmonising to create a new rock-sounding melody, you open your eyes, only to see Heeseung in all his jean-clad glory standing at the front row. He’s hard to miss as he practically towers over everyone else with his intimidating height.
“All I wanted was you.” You pull the mic stand towards you, emotions pouring out of every lyric that you sing. As if no one else mattered in the confined space of the bar, you kept your gaze solely on Heeseung. The confidence in your voice mirrors the one you wish you had as you make it further into the song, singing the lyrics line by line. Adrenaline takes over, letting you enjoy the moment to the fullest.
When the music comes to a complete stop, the loud cheers and hooting of the audience replace it instantly. You thank the crowd for the night and make it backstage, getting bombarded with compliments from the stage crew and other performers.
“You sang so well!” along with other compliments, continue to follow even as you disappear back into the crowd, attempting to find your way back to Jungwon. You make an effort to smile at them bashfully, even though you don’t think you did as well as you wanted to tonight.
“Y/n!” Heeseung pushes past people to get to you, mumbling a roll of short ‘excuse me's in the process. “Hey, um, you did really well.”
“Thank you.” You smile at him.
You looked so beautiful, which was what Heeseung wanted to add, but he remains silent and motionless, admiring the way you looked under the dim lighting instead. You’ve both made it near the back of the bar, where there was nobody else but you two. The next performers kicked off their performance of the night, so it made conversations between Heeseung and you harder to hear, prompting him to inch a step or two towards you.
“You have a really beautiful voice,” He shouts over the background instrumentals. His body is closer to yours, with his hands ghosting over the shell of your ears. Is it just you or was it getting hot in here?
You thank him once again, not trusting yourself to say any more than that, already semi-traumatised by this afternoon’s incident. Because what if you accidentally let out that the reason you chose to cover the song was because of him? With your luck, you were sure you would be spilling how much you wanted him entangled with you in your bed.
“You like Paramore?” He asks, trying his best to keep the conversation alive. He knew you liked music from the get-go, so he used it to his advantage. He usually isn’t one to pull all his weight with the girls he talks to, but it felt different with you. He felt that he needed to try even harder with you if he wanted to get you. It’s a first for Heeseung, and it scared the shit out of him.
“I do, actually!” You purse your lips into a small smile, reminiscing about the times when you would hold a makeshift concert in front of your sister with remote controls as microphones and stools as stages. “I used to listen to them a lot when I was younger.”
“All I wanted was you is actually my favourite song from them.”
“Really?”
“Maybe even more now after I’ve heard your rendition of it.” Your breath hitches in your throat probably for the nth time today and because of the same damn reason: Lee Heeseung and his endless flirting. Could you even call this flirting? You don’t know anymore. He’s just playing with you, like he does every other girl on this entire campus.
“I think I heard Jungwon calling for me!” You motion with your hands, already taking a step back before Heeseung could even catch you. He watches as your figure disappears into the sea of people, sighing to himself in defeat. You’ve ran away from him, again.
—
“Then what the fuck is the issue here? Because I don’t see one!” Jungwon groans after hearing your side of the story. “He’s obviously into you if he’s making the effort to flirt with you. Plus, I saw you guys talking real close last night. You left me alone for a MAN of all people.”
“Jungwon, must I remind you that you’re a MAN yourself?”
“Then take my fucking advice, as I am a part of the MAN community, when I tell you that you should just let yourself be happy and be with the damn guy! Who the fuck gives a fuck if he’s a man whore?” He finishes his piece of bread, dusting off the crumbs towards you in a manner of frustration. “We’re in college; everyone’s a whore.”
You roll your eyes at him, but you don’t say anything to retort because you know it’s true.
You’ve long accepted the fact that you would only ever hold the title of Heeseung’s friend, so it felt like sudden whiplash when Heeseung was starting to show signs of reciprocating your feelings — or at least you think so, when all you’ve ever fantasised about was him feeling the same way. Maybe it suddenly felt too real, and you weren’t actually expecting him to like you when all you’ve done is embarrass yourself in front of him.
You didn’t want to jump the gun either, making your heart feel even worse if it really was all just friendly. I mean, what could you possibly have done to make him finally notice you the way you notice him?
“Ugh, I know that look. Give yourself more credit!” He ruffles your hair and says, “You’re already extremely pretty in your own way.” The intensity in his eyes softened. “And this thing isn’t just a friendly gesture, I can tell that much. He wouldn’t go this long to just play with someone, you know that.” You nod, acknowledging that Heeseung was too nice for that. He may have dated a long list of girls, but those girls only ever had good things to say about Heeseung, from how attentive he is to how he always takes care of them. It’s what made Heeseung such a popular bachelor in the first place — being such a good lover.
“He likes you for you, Y/n. Plus, you deserve to be loved, so let yourself be loved, yeah?” Jungwon’s thumb goes over the apples of your cheeks lovingly.
“Jungwon,” You pout, touched by your best friend’s sweet words. “Come here.” You widen your arms for a hug, and knowing that he despises physical touch, you’re not surprised when he runs away from you, but even then you chase after him.
—
A few weeks have passed since Jungwon gave you that pep talk, and ever since then, you’ve been more open and less awkward to Heeseung’s flirting, even replying with your own few flirty lines here and there. The both of you have evidently become much closer than just friends; everyone with a pair of eyes can see that much. And with Heeseung’s reputation and popularity, it’s all everyone has been talking about these few days.
Girls have been approaching you left and right, telling you to keep your guard up with Heeseung because he’s going to leave you the way he left the other girls, telling you how you’re not special and that you’re just his newest plaything. You know they all had good intentions, but deep down, it still hurt all the same. Did it instill a newfound insecurity within you? Yes. Did you now have an irrational fear of being ditched? Yes, times two. But the catch was that you weren’t even a thing to begin with.
Every single lingering touch and loving stare was under the umbrella of just friends, with neither of you making the effort to clarify because it was always more convenient that way. But you’re starting to get greedy as the days pass. You don’t want to just be his plaything, and maybe you’re reaching, but you really want this to be something. If you’ve already gotten this far, what’s a little more?
You’re unable to stop these thoughts from spreading throughout the crevices of your mind, even while you’re lying across Heeseung’s couch with your head on his lap. His tender hand caresses your locks, mindlessly scrolling through TikTok with the other.
Routines like this have unknowingly formed throughout the few months you’ve gotten to know Heeseung; after class, you would either end up at Heeseung’s apartment to chill and talk or find yourselves at a nearby restaurant to try. You recently found out that Heeseung is a big foodie, with ramen being his favourite of them all. It’s small stuff like this that makes you feel as if you’ve dug deeper into Heeseung than anyone else ever has before. After all, you’ve stayed with him longer than in all his past relationships.
It’s a sense of false accomplishment, really. They’ve got to actually call Heeseung their boyfriend, while you’re just some fake. A girl-friend.
“Baby, look at this.” Did you add that he also calls you baby? Because he does, all the damn time. You always remind him to just use your name, but he reasons that baby fits you much better. It’s as if he’s deliberately trying to torture your heart.
Heeseung shows you a video on his phone, but your mind is already occupied elsewhere, which he takes immediate notice of. “Baby?” He calls, his fingers brushing your cheek.
You sit up from your position on his lap to face him, “Heeseung, what are we?” You see Heeseung’s body tense up, his jaw going rigged, and his eyes blown wide.
The silence is deafening.
“I-” Words fail to make it past Heeseung’s lips, leaving him at a loss for words. As each second on the clock ticks by, your heart breaks a little more. So he really was going to discard you like everyone else.
You continue to chide yourself for your naivety, for thinking that you could change him when you couldn’t even make him like you. You don’t even blame him because you’re definitely not a Karina or a Yunjin in any aspect; there’s no way he would fall for you.
“I wanted the timing to feel right.” Finally finding the courage, he continues. “I didn’t want to rush into things because this felt different.” His auburn orbs soften as he gazes at you with such love and affection, wanting nothing more than to hold you tight in his arms.
“I don’t get it.”
“I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my girlfriend for a while now, and I’ve been thinking of ways to ask you. Over a fancy dinner, maybe?” He chuckles, his hand flying to scratch the back of his neck. “And I still want to do that officially, but if you must know, you’re the only girl I want.”
You’re the only girl he wants. His voice echoes in your head, effectively melting every single doubt and insecurity in its path.
Heeseung scoots closer to you with his hands cupping your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” You slowly nod.
His soft lips felt perfect on yours, and you could feel your body buzzing with relief and warmth, your skin burning under his. His touch, his kiss, and his body being so close to yours made you feel lightheaded with want. It electrified you. Every single thing would no longer matter after this moment because Heeseung wanted you the same way you wanted him.
He was yours, and you were his.
—
“Where are we going?” You ask as you watch endless views of the seaside flurry by. With the windows rolled down, you relish in the onshore spring breeze.
“You’ll see, baby.” Heeseung squeezes your thigh for good measure, letting out a hearty laugh when the apples of your cheeks tint a bright red.
Minutes continue to pass you by, and when you reach your destination, or you believe that it is, Heeseung asks you to don a blindfold. You immediately comply, albeit a bit concerned, yet you still let yourself get dragged by Heeseung into unseen territory. With one of your senses gone, the sounds of hushed whispers, the clinging of keys, elevator sounds accompanied by their music, and the closing of a door are amplified tenfold. You try to make sense of your surroundings but give it up when you haven’t a single clue as to where you are or what you’re doing. You occasionally make the effort to inquire Heeseung about it, but he shuts you down almost immediately, repeating that you’ll see it soon enough.
“Come on, you big baby.”
Heeseung unties the blindfold, letting it fall onto the ground as you get slowly acclimated to the sudden difference in lighting.
It takes you a few seconds to realise that you’re in a hotel room, one that has been neatly decorated with helium balloons and flower petals everywhere, as well as the most stunning view you’ve ever seen. The sun continues to set in the background, painting the sky hues of orange and pink. You could even see the beach so perfectly from where you stood in the doorway. Your heart swells in its place, looking back at Heeseung with tears lining your eyes.
With his hand still clasped in yours, he leads you further into the suite, pointing at the large metallic letters reading, ‘Can I Be Your Boyfriend?’ on the headboard of the bed.
You knew that Heeseung wanted to make it special when he asked to officially become your boyfriend, but you didn’t think he would go this far: booking a hotel, letting the hotel staff in on it, then decorating said room in all your favourite colours.
“Heeseung.” You turn, hands flying towards Heeseung, to capture him in a deep and passionate kiss. When you’re both breathless and panting, you stick your forehead together with his, savouring the sweet moment. “Yes, a hundred times yes. You can be my boyfriend.” You smile at him, feeling the salty tears finally start to trickle down.
“I love you.” He picks you up and twirls you around before he continues to plant kisses on your lips and the entirety of your face. “I loved you the moment you fell in front of me, the moment our eyes met, the moment I fell on my ass for you, and the moment you sang my favourite song.” He whispers in between kisses.
This felt like a dream — how you went from crushing on the campus heartbreaker to dating the guy of your dreams.
Tumblr media
© i2ycat 2024 i love heeseung sm goodbye. also if u see any mistakes no u don’t
 i’ve proofread this like 20 times and i think i might’ve gone insane (real)
1K notes · View notes